Blue: YEAH. HE'S MY FRIEND.
Blue: SOMETIMES DEALING WITH DREAM AND INK CAN BE TOO MUCH, SO I GO HANG OUT WITH HIM.
Blue: (PLEASE DON'T TELL THEM I SAID THAT)
Phone contact: vermillion bitch (/paff)
vb (texting): running late srry bb
Blue (texting): BB?? LIKE BABY BLUE??
vb (texting): yeah
Blue (texting): THAT BETTER NOT BE WHAT I AM IN YOUR PHONE CONTACTS
vb (texting): i would never
Blue (texting): PERISH
in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!
they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.
they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.
you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.
but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.
where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.
and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?
doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.
but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.
what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.
just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?
your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.
riz being aroace as well as fabian’s gay awakening is the only correct option but also the funniest one. this loser (affectionate) is obsessed with you but in somehow the most platonic way possible and there’s a second where you think he might like guys and has even dated one but nope it’s the manifestation of his fears of his total lack of romantic attraction. meanwhile girls are asking YOU why you always bring HIM up and you can’t face the fact that you are actually just as obsessed with him because you are just afraid of your sexuality as he is of his. crazy.
Laios just thinks Shuro is the coolest person ever, and that opinion surprisingly never changes.
And I’m all for fights that lead to stronger friendships. There’s a politeness/barrier that doesn’t really go away until you fight with someone. I’m not saying fights are good, I would rather do anything else than fight with my friends. But I will say my closer friendships all had their tough spots. You work through them together.
Edit: I forgot people don’t know what a squish is PFFFT a squish is a platonic crush
not romantic not sexual not familial not siblings not in-laws but a secret other thing (life partners warriors bond forged through blood and grief and companionship, intimately knowing each other’s fears like the back of their hands, will loyally stay by each other’s side during their nightmares but will promptly chuck them off a cliff at the slightest offence, “i know exactly how you are and you annoy me sometimes but that’s exactly why i love you”, a casual domestic intimacy in which actions speak louder than whatever they say they are, orbiting around each other relentlessly, curiously, devotedly, aggravatingly, please caution and complement me because it’s alright if it’s you, it feels weird when you’re not being weird, sometimes i don’t get you but that’s why i like you, you’ll always have a home in me, i’ll make you a cup of tea and you’ll knit by the fire, thank you for being my companion, i’ll stay i’ll stay i’ll stay, also what is wrong with you (and what is wrong with me,) you’re normal to me so i’m normal to you. time and space is unfathomably large but let’s exist. together. by the way it’s your turn to do the laundry)
Underappreciated element of their dynamic: Phil loves riling Dan up so much. Just look at the number of times he looks in Dan’s direction just waiting for the reaction that Dan never gives him. and then look at how smiley he is at the end when he finally gets the tiniest reaction out of Dan
Also i need you all to know that the $1 I spent on pj’s patreon to watch the mind uncut was well worth it and I think about the fulll video all the time. Dw, this is the only snippet I’ll post from it.
[requests are closed]
Anon i'm sorry this is so late I finished these months ago. I meant to draw more but never got around to it UUUH. SORRY SLDKJSLDGKJSD
I love them so much. I need to draw them more. ;;v;;