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twistafr · 2 months

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How Many Andrew Jackson's Will It Take

yet another tedxschlatt smut fic i wrote This is part one of a series of oneshots :D

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10,755 Summary: Schlatt wants to prove to Ted he is not a money whore and ends being a whore anyways

(this is entirely based off of the video where they make ice cream out of fireball and other weird shit)

"Twenty dollars, crisp."

Schlatt presses his lips into an unamused line, is Ted seriously joking right now? Snorting cheeto dust is a terrible idea. "You're kidding."

"Come on, you sure you don't want a little Andrew Jackson in your pocket?" Ted urges, flattening the bill onto the smooth counter, grinning at the camera and back at Schlatt.

Schlatt waits, over time he's honesty improved at maintaining eye contact with Ted and holding himself back from lingering on the thoughts that would normally come along. Like his stupid glasses, light reflecting, leaving a dash of incoherent brightness to just barely hide the twinkle in his eyes, or his ridiculous hair. God his haircut is so ugly, somehow, it ends up being attractive. Schlatt has to keep a bored, disappointed face on. To be truthful, Ted just happens to be handsome. But that doesn't mean Schlatt would just do anything.

So he sits there. Twenty dollars is bullshit. "No, pal, I'm not snorting fucking cheeto dust," He says firmly, but unfortunately there's always that complaining undertone of his that ends up sounding whiney, and he mentally grimaces. "That- no way, man. Disgusting."

Ted pauses to examine his facial expression, something that does absolutely nothing, of course. Then Ted so easily pulls out his wallet, determined with a cheeky grin. He only spares the camera one knowing look, like he can read the future, like he's got Schlatt mapped out and honestly-

Honestly Schlatt hates that fucking look. As if Ted reads him that easily. There's also no way Ted is gonna convince him to do something this stupid. Not even as Ted opens his wallet up with satisfaction that makes Schlatt want to cuss him out.

"Okay, Schlatt, what about two?" He asks, tilting his head up but Schlatt's too busy glaring at all the bills stuffed in his wallet. Absolutely insane. But Ted just carries on, wallet going back to reside in his pocket as he waves two twenty dollar bills in Schlatt's face with a smile and hooded eyes that makes him sick inside.

"No," He says. But Ted insists. "Yeah, okay, I'm not gonna settle for fourty, Ted. I saw all that cash in your wallet." He really isn't. Fourty is stupidly low, not enough. Not even worth it as Ted fans them on his face and hums lowly.

"Oh, it's not?" Ted leans back for a moment and finally Schlatt can breathe. "You're really passing on fourty dollars?"

Well... "Yes," Schlatt tells him. At least, he should. But then he eyes the dust on the smooth counter surface and back at the bills. "Fuck you, dude," He grumbles, taking the fourty as Ted's smile grows concerningly large and he beams, standing up.

Schlatt makes the mistake of letting his eyes follow, watching as Ted glances down at him and a laugh escapes from his lips. "You're such a money whore."

Fuck. Schlatt instantly darts away, leaning forward and silently cursing at the world as he holds a finger to the side of nose and-

"Agh!" He coils back, it's awful, really. But the two twenties sitting under his elbow make it a little more bearable. Maybe that and the large hand Ted suddenly sets on his shoulder as he practically giggles, straight up, head back and smile blinding. Schlatt seriously hates him for this, just wants the money.

"Jeses fuck that was horrible."

"You're just a baby, you know," Ted jokes, deciding to finally sit back down, broad shoulders and all, even brushes against Schlatt before finally settling down as the other man grimaces.

"No. You fucking do it, Ted." He tells him, waving a hand up with a flick of his wrist, daring him with a look he hopes Ted takes like a cut. His nostril doesn't feel great. "Let's see you snort the dumb fucking cheeto dust."

Schlatt sort of begs the world to make Ted agree to do it for maybe a promised five dollars when he gets his wallet. Just because. No reasons. Except to get rid of the sound of Ted calling him a money whore, right on camera too. But in order to do that, he has to prove Ted wrong. By showing him Ted's even worse than he is.

Unfortunately, though, Ted clenches his teeth and makes that ugly face when he's about to say no. "Maybe if you throw in another twenty. Maybe even two."

"I don't have my wallet," Schlatt says, getting up and grabbing a paper towel wordlessly, holding it up to his nose. Between Ted's mocking laughter and him getting cheeto dust out of his nose, he does admittedly make a noise, one of pain, that just sends Ted flopping onto the counter with chuckles. He grimaces and turns his head to the camera. "And hell to eighty bucks, dude, maybe I'll give you single five later."

Schlatt promptly drops the finger he had pointed at him and sits back down, paper towel discarded.

Ted pauses, squinting at him with a smile, eyes debating something behind perfect color. "Okay you're just desperate. No way I'm going lower than what you did."

Schlatt scoffs, leaning on his arms, head hanging a little low. "No. Desperate for what?"

"To make me look like the beggar." Ted accuses, voice light but sure, face scrunched up ever so slightly and in no fucking universe is this fair, how Ted knows, how he sees so easily.

It pisses him off, sort of makes him hot in the face and chest for reasons he can't explain. Like yeah, he is somewhat attracted to Ted, but why does this particular thing seem to make him sweat?

"I don't know what your idiotic ass is on about." He huffs, forcing out a laugh directed at the viewers as he holds his hands up with a quick shrug. "I really don't."

But then Ted's close again, which looks normal, personal space doesn't fully exist when they're together and even the audience knows it. But it still sends Schlatt chasing after his breath to securely hold it, Ted's face mere inches away, smiling. "I think you do know."

"I think you need to shut up."

"Oh, yeah okay." Ted waves off the statement, looking around with a shake of his head. "Tell me to shut up because you know I'm right."

"But you seriously aren't-"

"Dude," Ted says bluntly, head snapping towards him, holding a hand out. "You seriously snorted some for forty dollars when you knew I was capable of offering, like, a hundred if I really wanted you to do it."

Schlatt goes to argue but comes to the uncomfortable conclusion that Ted is correct. Schlatt should have been more stubborn, gotten more money, all for the same thing. He blinks, brows furrowed. "You fucking robbed me?"

Ted laughs, looking down at the ground with his eyes shut with his smile, hiding it from the camera and Schlatt remembers Ted's the worst being ever, so he shouldn't even dare to think he looks cute. Ted glances at him, leaning on his closed hands that shield most of his face from the audiences' view for when they watch the video.

"Schlatt, buddy, you didn't have any money to begin with."

Absolutely every sentence this man said drives Schlatt one street closer to halfway losing it.

As in snapping at him to stop being so annoying, of course. Not to grab the collar of his sweatshirt and tug him as harshly as he could until Ted's lips were on his.

That would be...

Sclatt's brows raise, lost in thought before he gets a fucking grip and frowns. Correction, that would be a really bad idea. Neither of them should enjoy that. They wouldn't.

"Let's make some of the worst, most disgusting, fucked up ice cream, Ted." Schlatt suddenly states, looking at the camera and grinning. It's easy, he thinks, to switch off the tempting visuals his imagination gives him just by comfortably falling into another focused mindset, one surrounding making content with his just friend for a later audience to see. Ted slows a little before joining him, holding up a bag of cheetos.

"Starting with cheeto flavored ice cream."

Schlatt almost gags thinking about it, a very displeased look on his face as he takes the bag Ted passes him, then opens it. "This is gonna be horrid, man."

"We'll see." Is all Ted says before his eyes light up. "Oh, but in order to actually do this and make cheeto ice cream, I'm gonna have to go get my special fancy blender."

Schlatt hates how he says it. "It's just a blender, dude."

"Dude," Ted repeats, looking at him all offended, half sitting down, half standing as he places a hand on his chest. "It's mine and it's fancy."

"No it's not." Schlatt argues, face scrunched as he laughs at Ted.

"Uh, yes it is, Schlatt, buddy boy." He denies and Schlatt glances at him like his existence is embarrassing, then faces the camera again.

"It's not. Guys, it sucks."

"You're just jealous," Ted says with a huff, fully stepping back from the counter and lightly whacking Schlatt in the back of his head. "Jealousy doesn't look good on you."

Schlatt pushes him away with a ducked head. "Oh, fuck me." Ted is awful, truly. The world uses him as a tool to piss Schlatt off, to screw over his mood.

All he gets from Ted though is an amused laugh, a burning pat on the shoulder he instantly shrugs off, and a shrug from Ted. "Maybe if you could be nice to me."

Ted jokes. He says nonsensical things a lot. Says things he doesn't mean, for humor, for fun, entertainment even. He doesn't mean it but fuck it's so, so hard to realize that fact.

So of course Schlatt's brain trips over itself, heat smarting under his cheeks to leave them pinker by the second as his guts twist. It's supposed to be a joke no matter how blunt Ted may say it, no matter how it sounds.

And really, Schlatt shouldn't be surprised like this, like it's the first joke like this that they've made. They say gay shit to each other just because, why not? Even off camera too. It's all jokes, even if it always stays in his head, like when Ted just suddenly told him he had a nice ass once, then laughed loudly. It's all fun and games between two totally straight dudes.

Because of this, Schlatt knows he has got to calm the hell out. He can't actually be interested with his friend, he can pretend to for fun, he can sometimes let himself indulge in it, but hardly ever, because deep down he really has got to back off from a subject like this.

Still, Schlatt sounds unfairly tooken back as he shoots Ted a look. "What!? Dude, first off-" He starts, stopping as his mouth goes dry and he forces himself to carry on with an accusing finger. "I'm very nice, actually, kind even. Hero at times."

He attempts to say it with such certainty, trying to find point two, but then Ted glances past his shoulder, down at him, and gives him a smug smile.

"And secondly," He swallows, sitting up straight as he thinks of what to say. Ted waits, brows knitted together with concentration. "Secondly, you're an ass. Your Jokes are shit."

Ted pushes himself up from the counter he's leaning on and turns his back to him. "You have laughed at most of them, though." Then there's a silent pause, Schlatt's face is hot with what should only be light frustration, but unfortunately is also a flattered shade, temperature rising. Ted shrugs. Again. "Plus, it's only a joke if you make it, Schlatt."

Schlatt stills, mind replaying it because what the hell does that mean? He refuses the need to take a slow breath, and scowls, as dirty as he can, right at Ted's back who's too busy getting his blender to even notice.

There's no way Ted means it. But he should stop joking around anyway, because Schlatt can not handle it, not today, not when Ted wears that sweatshirt and those glasses. Just not at this moment.

When Ted turns around Schlatt hopes he looks pissed, but honestly, he just might look turned on. Stupidly so.

He honestly doesn't know what Ted thinks he looks like because the man stops, blender in his hands, and tilts his head. "What?"

"The fuck you mean what? I should be asking that." Schlatt shoots back at the question, pointing, putting a hand on his chest, waving, everything of the sort. He should probably let it slide off, just roll down like water and put it aside as a joke, just another of the many. But it's so stupidly unfair and wrong how he can't stop staring at Ted, how his head thinks of what could happen between them, what Ted would act like when they're bare and in bed. He, much to his dismay, is becoming rather horny for his friend.

Which is a problem. In case anyone such as Schlatt forgot.

However, it's like Ted isn't even capable of registering any of that, like the idea of a bad consequence doesn't even dare to exist around him right now, as he pushes his glasses further up his nose with two fingers after setting the blender back down. "Why do you need to?" He asks, dry and smooth all the same it makes literally zero sense. "What's making you question whatever you're questioning at this very moment?"

Honestly there's a lot. The questionable thought of whether or not Ted is being serious, if Schlatt should even consider that he is serious, what it would mean if he is serious. Why Ted says this type of stuff, why Schlatt likes it, and why he says it back but is now suddenly acting like it's the craziest thing either of them has ever said.

Maybe it's because Schlatt hasn't actually always been attracted to Ted, so whenever Ted jokingly roughed him up with strong hands, shaking his shoulders or grabbing his face, it never made him feel so stupidly sick with desire. Back then, Ted's insults and mockery didn't make Schlatt's stomach twist with something he wasn't used to, same with Ted's compliments and thoughtful invitations to hang out- fucking hell, even Ted's sincere good morning text from last week had Schlatt's head tilting up, breathing in slowly to remind himself they were just fucking friends.

Well, just friends. Not friends that fuck, to clarify. Schlatt's head spins at the thought, silence carrying on before he bites the inside of his lip, coming up with an excuse, and shrugging at the camera. "We are literally recording, Ted."

If Schlatt never knew Ted as closely as he did, the way his eyes dull over would have been missed. Ted's eyebrows are raised, and he waves a hand towards the device. "Oh, so it's the camera? You can't handle it in front of the camera, Schlatt?" He asks, but his voice bites at Schlatt's tongue, leaving him without a response. Not that Ted gives him the time to think of one. "Come on, man, I can always cut this bit out before it even goes anywhere, if it really bothers you. But I really don't get the issue."

Schlatt breathes in sharply through his nose, eyeing the camera like if he looks away, it'll jump at him or any other possibility that of course, doesn't play out in his favor. Like already, there is a crowd witnessing him tripping over himself. Normally he doesn't care at all, it's just a video out of many, but for some reason since the moment he met up with Ted, things have been morphing into something a bit different.

They're alone, and Schlatt's head is wrapping around that fact over and over. He really needs to get in check.

"Whatever, dude." He dismisses, defeat lingers on the tip of his tongue, but quickly fades away with the obvious frustration etched into his expression, so much so it sinks into his tone. "It's not just the camera anyways." He mumbles out that part with an unamused glance away from Ted, who is still the worst possible being to exist. He isn't necessarily supposed to hear it, but if he does, Schlatt won't go crazy.

Of course, that means Ted hears it. He picks up the blender first, then carries it over to his seat and sets it down. He looks at Schlatt, a brow lifted with a questioning glance.

"Oh yeah?" He asks and Schlatt doesn't like the way it sounds, totally not. It's so gross and nothing but. Definitely. So no, he doesn't feel his nerves light up when Ted moves to sit down, shoulders brushing and smiles curiously at him. "Then what else, Schlatt?"

Schlatt shakes his head, he's not gonna just up and admit that he's attracted to Ted right to his face. You serious? He's not a dumbass. Ted is allowed to know that maybe it might not be the camera, but something else. Doesn't mean he gets to know what though. "That's for me to know."

Ted's face dims. "Wow. Lame. Tell me."

"Dude, no-"

"Come on."

"No, no way." Schlatt denies it, looking at the camera like maybe it'll give him a way outta here, to somewhere where he isn't being questioned by Ted to reveal shit he frankly, really doesn't want to. "Never."

"Oh, oh okay." Ted nods sarcastically, leaning back. "So it's never? You're really never gonna tell me?"

Schlatt pauses, a blank face before he simply laughs. "Yeah. Yeah dude, that's exactly what I'm gonna do."

There's a beat of silence that follows and Schlatt looks over at Ted just in time to frown when he realizes the fact that gears are most definitely turning in his brain. "Don't think too hard or you'll hurt yourself." He tells him and Ted just waves it off with a short smile before it turns into the hints of a smirk.

"What if I offered you money," Ted suggests, making a circular motion with his finger. "You know, a penny for your thoughts."

Schlatt scoffs, absolutely offended. "Jesus, Ted! How low do you think of me, no fucking way. A penny?"

Ted frowns. "No, that's the saying. Dumbass." He then reaches for his wallet again and Schlatt tenses, he's prepared, he's not giving in this time. "What about a ten? And you tell me."

"Dude you're desperate, why do you wanna know?"

"Why don't you wanna tell me?"

Schlatt grimaces, eyes drifting away to examine the counter surface like he has nothing else to entertain him. It's a simple answer, really. A ' I don't want you to know that I think you're fucking hot ' or anything similar. Just along those lines. But that defeats the purpose. Saying 'i didn't want you to know x y z', then gives away x y and z. It's stupid. So he just has to keep his mouth shut.

Ted seems to catch wind, if only ever so slightly, of the thought process going through Schlatt's head as he squints and leans closer, voice lowering.

"Come on, Sclatt," He nearly mumbles it, the tips of his lips curled up into a poorly hidden smile. "I know it was just on the tip of your tongue."

Schlatt simply stares at the camera and clears his throat. "We should make this gross ice cream. Ted." He side-eyes him when he says his name and hopes Ted will just give up.

Which is a stupid thing to wish for because Ted is one stubborn prick.

"Oh yeah, we will." Ted confirms dismissively, clearly preoccupied as he leans back to wave at the bowl, the bags of cheetos, and his special blender. "But first I was thinking you could earn twenty-something dollars?"

Schlatt nearly smiles, it flashes across his face for a second and is shoved away as he pulls in a bag of cheetos. "Keep dreaming, big guy."

"Jackson won't do, huh?" Ted questions, mostly to himself if anything, yet there's still that complete lack of weight to it- like even he doesn't buy it, looking down and Schlatt pointedly ignores him as he hears him shuffle around, retrieving more money no doubt. Not that Schlatt will budge.

However, when he looks back all Ted has is still one singular twenty-dollar bill.

Schlatt laughs at him.

"What are you aiming at?" He asks, opening the cheeto bag in front of him and watching as Ted shrugs it off.

"I know you'll come around, simple."

"Yeah, sure thing."

Ted hums, eyes lifting up to the camera in front of them and explaining how they're going to make the ice cream, holding up the creamer and such and Schlatt just sort of watches with occasional nods.

What's very disappointing is how his eyes drift downwards to the money sitting right in front of Ted, like the man said, twenty dollars crisp is what all started this. But he's not about to let it finish this. He'll win.

Because in the end he has no right to be this worked up that Ted was just... Joking around. He does it too, he's fine, he doesn't even want the money. One hundred percent.

"This is gonna be awful," Schlatt groans out, a slightly amused chuckle trailing after and honestly it could have been a comment on both the ice cream and Ted's insisting bribery attempts- that Schlatt refuses to be a victim of anymore. Damn Ted is so evil. Far too evil, in fact, Schlatt's small, quick, and simple murdering of a homeless man that was totally definitely (really actually) real and most certainly (yup) happened - even that looks like nothing even cruel when compared to Ted.

Ted, seemingly unaware of Schlatt's mindless internal rant, smiles at him and it's a little too soft all around the edges that are supposed to be hardened with something smug, not whatever this is. Not whatever he's giving to Schlatt that Schlatt honestly can not deny because hell he isn't really supposed to be attracted to his friend.

But it is what it is, Schlatt supposed.

"Think we'll make it out alive, don't worry," Ted muses teasingly, taking the time to sit there and act like he's calculating their chances of survival. Then he shrugs and tinkers with the ice cream maker machine thingy- Schlatt doesn't care- and hums. "But we'd be the first to achieve death by Cheeto ice cream, I think."

Schlatt feels a warm laugh escape him, unfortunately so. "I don't think first place is worth it this time, Teddy."

Oof. Okay so... Schlatt feels a bit embarrassed about the nickname because he can't actually remember if he has used it before and if he has, what Ted even thought of it. So he waits on slippery rocks, about to fall into a cold river ass first and have Ted make fun of him or worse, or he just is a really dramatic person which he'll blame and say is a side effect of sitting in front of a fucking camera for so many hours of his life.

Maybe that's it though, because Ted just hesitates for a single second, nearly looking like somebody manually pressed his pause button, then breathes in as a smile grows on his face mixed with a slightly confused but welcoming face. He doesn't hate it. In fact Schlatt might even say he likes it. Which is still a tiny bit unfair because when he first thought of the nickname it was originally meant to be used for condescending purposes, y'know, being rude and all that. But the laugh ruined it, his undoubtedly there blush ruined it, and his voice ruined it.

So now he's got Ted eying him again, lips pulled up. "No? Don't think so?"

God, he is so annoying. "Yeah, that's why I said it."

Ted hums. "Well I say it's worth trying, at the very least," Ted declares with a finger in the air, and Schlatt follows his hand back down. Which is a mistake because then Ted's hand is an inch away from his money. The stuff he's trying to use to bribe Schlatt with. What a loser.

Schlatt tilts his head up and looks away. "Then hurry up and make it, bitch."

Of course Ted just has to stop and give Schlatt this expression of impressed amusement and judgment mixed in like he's offended and Schlatt is so incorrect it makes his nose wrinkle as he huffs, then squints.

"Nice one, Schlatt," He muses but then he confidently lifts his head, still holding eye contact like being insufferable is the only way he survives as he draws out "But I'd say you're more my bitch."

So maybe Schlatt almost coughs up Cheetos, but he doesn't, he just hasn't yet thought of literally anything to say to that, how to even respond. Because he's too busy replaying it in his head like he ends up doing, Ted's voice rolling around in his mind and it's always just a little conflicting how Ted can be both simply nice and a proper jerk to get Schlatt like this, all heated and ready to jump some fucking bones. Ted's to be exact.

But he, for the millionth time, should not really be thinking of his friend that way. Yet Ted keeps suggesting all these stupid things that keep his thoughts tripping over words and smiles, resulting in these stupid desires.

Schlatt breathes in, he should just try his damn hardest to forget all about this ridiculous nonsense of Ted this Ted that.

Still without a response, he says nothing and they move to dump a vile amount of Cheetos into Ted's crappy blender. But when Schlatt is standing there in front of the blender, opening his bag while simultaneously trying to get a hold of his thoughts, Ted just so naturally fucks it up by walking up behind him.

Schlatt can sense his presence and decides to act extra focused and amused as he shakes the bag into the blender. This ice cream is definitely gonna taste like shit. He nearly smiles to himself at that, halfway mixed with a grossed-out grimace. He has to pause, though, because Ted puts it up on himself to step forward and watch over Schlatt's shoulder, which presses against Ted's collarbone, and Ted hums.

"What cheese to flaming hot ratio are we thinking of here?" He asks and out of context- and honestly even with and without full knowledge of the situation- his words aren't anything attractive. It's just how Ted's chin is over his shoulder, so close to his face, and half his front against Schlatt's back just barely light enough that Schlatt can still have hope that Ted didn't magically read his mind and decide to mess with him.

Schlatt swallows, that would not be good. He isn't even pouring any more Cheetos, just awkwardly stationed here because of Ted and it's his stupid fault, as it normally is. "It's whatever, dude," He answers.

Ted chuckles and it's almost a little too much that Schatt can feel it, warm and deep and fuck- "Ted-"

"Just speaking your mind isn't as risky as snorting cheeto dust," Ted whispers, cutting Schlatt off, then placing an open bag of flamin' hot cheeto dust on the counter without a word and walking away.

The hell is with this guy.

Schlatt dumps the Cheetos in and clears his throat, only looking at Ted to make sure he's listening. Of course he is already glancing over at Schlatt after lowering his phone.

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” He says bluntly, snapping the lid onto the blender and fixing it up to start. He gestures to Ted over to finish the job and waves. “See ya.”

And he really hopes that when he comes back things will be a lot more collected.

Because seriously, Ted needs to chill out if he wants to finish this video without Schlatt blurting out his desire to jump his bones and try to do something about it.

So he's here, in the bathroom, regaining some composure. He looks into the mirror and sighs.

Hopefully he can do this.

Schlatt is tiptoeing back into Ted's kitchen not even three minutes later, after having to practically reset himself so his composure was fresh and sturdy and no longer chipping away at the edges.

He knows he and Ted make some questionable jokes, but today was just not the day Schlatt could handle it. Not when they're alone at Ted's house, not like this.

But he's back and stronger, so when he sees Ted standing there, one hand on the counter, the other scrolling about on his phone, Schlatt purposefully redirects his mind from stuff like 'Ted looks good, really good' to 'Ted is annoying'.

So it's easier to walk up to him, round the counter, and peek at his phone, which simply shows his home screen page. "What are you doing now?"

"Waiting," Ted replies, turning off his phone and Schlatt takes a step back to give Ted some space as he turns around and tucks his phone into his pocket. "We got an hour, Schlatt."

Oh, that's right. It takes a ridiculous amount of time for the ice cream to be made. Meaning each time they mix up a new stupid flavor there is going to be a whole sixty minutes that follows until the next one, as in they've got a lot of time.

He tries not to think about what ways he would like to spend this time doing with Ted, seeing as it's what made him excuse himself in the first place with embarrassment and silent scolds focused at himself for being this way. You shouldn't be unnecessarily attracted to your best friend who is probably straight.

He shoves it down his throat and hopes it doesn't crawl back up as he opens his mouth, closes it, and blinks, then finds something to say. "That's a while."

No shit, he thinks.

"No shit," Ted says and Schlatt almost smiles at that. He looks to both his right and his left while trying to start up a totally normal conversation between two men who seemingly are only interested in other people, not each other, and catches the absence of a running camera.

"So, are you going to spend the rest of the time staring at your home screen?" Schlatt jokes, allowing himself a small smile that pulls at his lips, light and subtle. Ted chuckles at that, eyes averting their gaze on Schlatt as he presses his lips into a thin line.

He's definitely thinking of something, Schlatt can tell with the tiniest pinch of his brows and the way he stalls, simply looking at the cabinets. And for a moment Schlatt understands Ted's relentless attempt to get Schlatt to reveal whatever is on his mind. Instead, though, Schlatt takes a different approach that starts with a sharp scoff, quickly making Ted's vision snap back to him.

"What?" Schlatt asks, keeping the 'is on your mind' part of the sentence heavily implied with a raise of his eyebrows and the downturn of his lips, but not spoken out loud.

There's only a moment of hesitation before Ted sighs.

"You ever use Reddit to answer your questions?" He asks, which makes Schlatt nearly pause with a confused thought about how the hell it's related, before he realizes, and nods.

"Occasionally, yes," He says. It's the honest truth. "Why?"

"Well, it seems a Redditor from two years ago was facing the same issue," Ted starts, leaning back and crossing his arms. Schlatt wants to ask what but lets him finish in case he's about to tell him exactly that. Ted waits for a second, blinks at Schools like he's trying to figure something out for himself, and Schlatt's nerves ruffle up but he remembers to stay cool. "Seems most answers said I should just be direct."

Schlatt's lips twitch and Ted just feels only a little off. Like he's not standing on two feet, which is odd because he is. Still, there's definitely something Schlatt is stupidly failing to catch onto, slipping through his hands every time. He clears his throat and ignores it.

"About what?" He asks and he stirs at how Ted doesn't look away with hesitation, rather, a sense of what Schlatt can only describe with the words "fuck it" fill up, behind his eyes, there and ever-growing as he breathes out through his nostrils in an act of acceptance to whatever he's about to say. Schlatt almost wonders if he should be concerned.

"Schlatt." Is all Ted gets out first, making his eyes return to Ted's, ever puzzled as he tilts his head and squints, trying not to let his heart pound because of the level of eye contact here, but rather because that's what hearts do.

"Ted?" Is what he gives him for a response and he notices the very light bite of the cheek Ted does, a classic move formed from Ted's doubts. But Schlatt is dying to know, doesn't want to wait, and urges him forward. "What?" He questions, firmer, and hopes he doesn't sound like he needs it.

Only a second passes, but it feels like twenty. Then,

"I want to kiss you."

Schlatt's eyes widen. He is considering the possibility he misheard his friend but the set expression on Ted's face is trying to tell him he didn't. He doesn't have a brain for a couple of moments, just stands there full of disbelief, and before he can properly understand the English language again, his mouth hangs open just a little, lips parted, staring right at Ted.

Thankfully, his brain is capable of working again, if only a bit, and his shoulders rise with his breath. "Are you fucking with me?" He blurts out and thinks about how horrible that would be. Ted figures out Schlatt has a thing for him and decides to mess with him because of it. That would have Schlatt raging. He hopes that's not it. A part of him knows Ted isn't really that type of person, knows he wouldn't play Schlatt up like that, and Schlatt's shocked mind struggles for a second to comprehend that fact as Ted flashes a look of worry before shaking his head urgently.

"No." He confirms, so entirely certain of it, that it helps Schlatt focus on controlling the blush he's starting to feel heat up his face. So, okay, Ted isn't messing around. He holds his breath. Ted says no again and looks down at the ground."I just, you know, have the urge to kiss you."

Schlatt didn't know, actually. But he does know the feeling, so he nods, dumb in the brain and still not fully believing the situation he's in. "I get that," He says like an idiot. "The feeling. A lot."

Ted falters, glancing up at Schlatt. "Oh?"

"I want to kiss you back," Schlatt admits and he dismisses the sound of his heartbeat in his ears and waits on the edge, near hopeful, entirely eager, and expectantly seeking for Ted to be the first one to do something about the new revelation because Jesus Fuck he has wanted it for so long. Too long, actually, so it's about damn time it happens.

"Right now?" Ted suggests, carefully watching him, but there's that smug smile Schlatt has thought of countless of times that sneaks onto his face as he inches closer and squeezes Schlatt's shoulder. The weight is strangely exhilarating as Schlatt nods.

"Right now," He says, and thankfully Ted is also a man with little patience when it comes to this, because not a second more is wasted and he's tugging at Schlatt's waist to bring him closer and pressing his lips against Schlatt's.

Schlatt is fucking burning wherever Ted's touches him, hips, waist, lips, and he can't get enough of it. His head spins, but he doesn't care, not when he's finally getting to kiss Ted, hot and quick and demanding as he grabs the back of Ted's neck and wordlessly asks for more.

So now it's a strong line of messy open-mouthed kisses that have Schlatt breathless, heart beating far too heavy it rams against his ribs and booms in his ear, but what's more important is how he can hear Ted's increasingly short breathes as he tries to make more time to kiss and less time to catch his breath.

Schlatt stumbles a little bit backwards with the pure force of it all, hands scrambling up Ted's back to grab at his shoulders, wanting it all and sighing at the way Ted sweeps in his tongue, unforgivingly taking and taking as one of his hands grips at his hip, daring to lift the material of his hoodie (which now feels like way too much clothing) upwards, heat seeping into Schlatt's skin through his finger pads. Ted presses them closer, hand on the span of Schlatt's back, who can feel his nerves go incredibly haywire at the sensation of their chests bumping, thighs uncoordinated as their lips, and it's a true question of whether it was Schlatt's eagerness or Ted's that has Ted's thigh in between Schlatt's, sending a pleasant amount of pressure straight to his dick.

Of course, there's the very possible option that it was the both of them, as Schlatt gasps into Ted's mouth, clenching onto his shoulders, and tilting his hips forward.

"There's gotta be more than that," Schlatt whispers and Ted moves his head back and Schlatt's stuck on the sight of him, lips red and he can't help but want them to be more swollen, to see that and know the why behind it, and his cheeks dusted with blush, furiously pink.

"If you want more, we're moving to the bedroom, Schlatt," He says, all direct and to the point and fuck, Schlatt almost has half the thought that he should thank Reddit for existing, because even though he's always felt something when Ted gets all blunt and horribly honest with a firm tone, it's definitely something else in this context, in the making out and awfully horny context.

Schlatt is instantly taking up the offer because he knows one when he sees one. In what world would he give up or pass on the opportunity to land up in bed with Nevison? None of them, okay. That's what's up.

He lets out an embarrassingly shaky breath as Ted kisses his neck, just a little left of the center of his throat. His head is fucking catapulting idea after idea at him, suggestive image after the next, flashes of Ted's smile sinking into his thigh with a hand wrapped around him.

"Fuck," He mumbles, both at all the thoughts that Ted's words have sparked, and because Ted's grabbing at his ass with his lips attached to the inviting skin of his neck. It's all Ted, all he can feel, think, and all he wants right now as he nods again. "Yes, yeah, let's - bedroom, Ted."

Ted hums into the crook of Schlatt's neck, exhales, then removes himself from Schlatt and takes hold of his wrist. Schlatt is more than willing to trail along like he doesn't know where the bedroom is, like he hasn't been in it before because this time it's different. This time It's Ted walking Schlatt into his room, past the door frame, and pulling him close once they're in it.

This time it's not sneaking glances as they both sit on the floor, only wishing for something else. Right now it's Ted kissing his face off before letting them both breathe.

Schlatt doesn't even realize his chest is practically heaving until Ted places his palms flat up against him and smiles.

"You think we're overdressed for this occasion?" He asks and lets out a booming and warm laugh when Schlatt rolls his eyes. Schlatt wraps his fingers around Ted's wrists and brings his hands down to the bottom hem of his hoodie. Ted's chest inflates at the action, and Schlatt bets his ego does too. But it really doesn't matter if Ted's pompous as shit or not because the man's teasingly flirting his fingers into the fabric of Schlatt's pants only to soak in the sharp gasp he makes with a smug smile before lifting Schlatt's hoodie up, hands brushing across his bare skin in a way that leaves a fiery trail of pleasure in its wake.

"Don't tell me you're a fucking tease," Schlatt grumbles, far too aroused to sound remotely upset as he watches his hoodie fall to the ground as Ted moves to take off his own. He has seen Ted shirtless, at swimming pools and whatnot, but to see it this close when it's... Intimate like this, to lean into Ted with a kiss that might dance across the border of too slow and soft, with his hands roaming up and down Ted's torso, skin warm underneath his travelling palms that itch for more, pressing against Ted's stomach. It's vastly different from a long beach day with the gang.

He likes it. A lot.

It's virtually tender, with the way Schlatt slowly explores every inch of Ted's skin he's got with appreciation, with the way Ted kisses deep, eyes closed, with a hand cupping Schlatt's face, sweet and intentionally dragged out. Something akin to admiration sinks into it, buried somewhere between Ted's tongue and Schlatt's fingers.

But then they remember they have got lungs, which unfortunately need oxygen, so they part, and Schlatt's swallowing down air as Ted takes a couple of breaths and moves to shuffle himself out of his pants. Schlatt bites his lips because fuck, this man was golden, absolutely stellar, and well, hot as hell. So of course he then quickly follows in suit, fumbling to get them off due to the lust that hazes over his gaze and makes him just a little rushed.

Ted's shamelessly checking him out, he realizes, looking up after stepping out of the rumple of clothing on the ground, and finds himself beaming into the attention and not staying away.

"Might as well take those off, too," Ted says, gesturing towards his boxers with a nod of his head. Schlatt, even though Ted undressed his upper half and had his tongue practically shoved down Schlatt's throat and clearly wants to take it further just as much as he does, finds himself blushing. Ted smiles curiously. "You drawing the line?" He asks even though they both know he is absolutely not doing that. Maybe that's why Ted finds it funny, the asshole.

"Fucking kidding me?" Schlatt scoffs, shrugging off anything that could render him hesitant, and slides them off. He swells up with satisfaction when he catches the breath Ted takes, eyes slightly widening for only a fraction of a second, and licks the middle of his lips shortly like the absolutely cheeky and lecherous scoundrel he is- apparently. Schlatt scrunches his nose and huffs out of amusement at that. However, it's not like Schlatt is clean of his intemperate imagination when it comes to his friend, so he spares him a comment in favor of kissing him.

"You wanna get on the bed for me?" Ted asks and Schlatt hums against his lips with a question on his mind and his hand wrapped around the back of Ted's neck.

"You got lube and shit?" He quires, trying not to sound like an idiot, "Condoms?"

"Yes, pal," Ted says, on the edges of mocking, and kisses him back. "I've got 'em both."

Schlatt smiles, then allows himself to turn around and listen to Ted's words, knees pressed into the mattress as he situates near the top, and peers over at him.

Schlatt's stomach does a phenomenal amount of flips when he sees Ted with a condom and a bottle of lube in his hand, butterflies in his stomach with wings flapping so fast it's like a tornado, thrashing up against his ribs cage violently with threats to vomit out his wanton desires and beg for it all. Because the realness of what's happening is catching up to him and he can't breathe without Ted up in his space anymore, not for the next while, because he silently confesses he just needs Ted close right now, to get over and touch him all over until he comes and spit out nonsense as long as it's accompanied with the feeling of Ted all around him, even inside of him he dare say.

The next thing he knows, Ted's crowding Schlatt up on his bed, which has his brain whirring with the amount of rebooting it's had to live through the moment Ted kisses him. He sets the two items in between Schlatt's bent legs, knees pointed upwards to the sky as if anything they are doing is related to pure golden heaven. Schlatt exhales, a little uneven, and his chest rises as he absorbs the sight of Ted moving up, looming over him, hair falling over his forehead a little, with a hand trailing up Schlatt's leg.

"Ted," He warns uselessly, without much behind it besides a pinch of neediness. Which is a little unfair, he thinks, because really Ted being on top of him shouldn't have that much of an effect. But it's the first time and maybe not the last and it's something straight out of the dreams he normally would suffocate with neglect, so he's been silently wishing for this to happen for a while now. Maybe that's why it means so much when Ted slides in between his knees and kisses Schlatt's shoulder with a hand pressing on the inside of one knee, parting his legs and pointedly ignoring his dick. Schlatt ruffles impatiently and it doesn't mean he's desperate for it just because he rolls his hips up into Ted... Okay. Just bored of waiting as he huffs. "Come on, Ted."

"Fine," Ted mumbles but there's no sign of reluctance in his tone or his actions because he's excitedly rubbing Schlatt's legs and quirking his lips up curiously. "How do you wanna do this?"

It's such a stupid question, Schlatt thinks. Like it isn't obvious enough what he wants. He rolls his eyes, a little sarcastic, a whole lot of eager, and spreads his legs wider. "The fuck do you think?"

Ted snickers at him, but takes the not-so-subtle hint and moves back, tugging at Schlatt's legs to bring him up closer and lift him off the mattress for easier access. It has Schlatt's breath running around with a small gasp, hands coming to Ted's lower arms, eyes wordlessly telling him to hurry up.

Thankfully, Ted doesn't linger too much afterwards, opening the lube and decently coating his fingers with it, and Schlatt's face burns with how focused he gets on his ass, sides of his hands moving his cheeks and it's already a lot. Schlatt breathes out, hands lowering to rest on the bed, and he forces himself to not wild his hips around just because Ted has his hands on his ass, then a finger circling the rim of his hole, then dips it in with a smug look.

"Jesus," Schlatt murmurs and it's been a bit since he's felt this. But it's Ted, so it's still different. It's good, it's making him twist the comforter of Ted's bed with his fingers as Ted's begin to untangle him apart. "You should add a second," He says, voice breathy and not even three seconds after the first.

Ted huffs out a laugh, eyes pinned on Schlatt's hole in a way that sends him silently reeling, internally debating whether to throw himself at Ted and ask for it straight, to request the man to dick him down. He doesn't and just blinks at Ted's attentive expression that mixes with a smile. "You're very impatient, buddy."

Schlatt pauses, then looks away with furrowed brows and tightens his grip on the bed by a bit when Ted's finger swoops across his walls. "Don't call me-" but he chokes a little on his words as Ted invites a second finger, unprompted (but not really), and instantly scissors him. Schlatt lets out a heavy breath, he can practically feel the ridges of Ted's fingerprints and it's truly filthy. "Ugh- okay, I was saying don't call buddy," He starts unsteadily, biting his lip and inhaling as Ted's two fingers swipe all around his walls like they're participating in an urgent search. Schlatt tries to keep himself balanced. "When you've got your fingers up my ass."

"Huh," Ted says, all he says like what Schlatt is telling him isn't just common sense. God, he's such a jerk. But Schlatt thinks he will let it go for now because the man's got two fingers in him and skillfully moving around. His breaths are shallow and his skin is warm all over as he eases himself to relax into the sheets and soak up each nerve that catches on fire with every little shift and bend of Ted's fingers. He's ridiculously hard from it, and the pressure of it is perfectly both pleasant and a tiny bit painful, itching to release.

But then Ted manages a third finger, up to the last knuckle, and one of the three presses right against his walls in a particularly sensitive spot that has him clenching around them, finger pad directly burning pleasure onto his prostate. All of that hard work to relax on the bed goes hurdling out the window as Schlatt loses a bit of control, back barely arching as a breathy, unrestrained whine full of need slips from his mouth and into their ears.

It rings in his ears, washes humiliation over him as the sound batters around his head, bumping relentlessly into his skull as he opens his eyes, never fully recalling when he closed them, and tenses. "I-" but Ted's only grinning, basically from ear to ear, and very clearly pleased with himself it sends a warm bundle of feelings swirling down into Schlatt's stomach. Ted leans forward, the heat radiating from his body mingling with Schlatt's own he wonders if Ted can sense his heartbeat pulsing throughout, untamed and heavy and he can't stop himself from lifting a hand to press down on Ted's back to bring them closer, to feel his bare chest against his, to hear the way their uneven breathing mixes together as he moans softly into Ted's mouth before it can actually be considered a kiss and not just two open mouths slotting together in a competition to steal the most oxygen.

He feels wonderfully dizzy when they break, and can't properly think of what to even say as Ted's fingers open him up.

"I'd love to hear more," Ted admits in a whisper, then lowers his head to press a kiss all too chaste to his shoulder. Schlatt's hand presses flat against Ted's back like he's trying to keep him here, even though there are no signs of Ted walking away from this anytime soon, and he can feel Ted's stomach brushing above his tip as he moves, making him inhale sharply and tilt his head away for air.

"Ted, get on with it," He groans, lifting his other hand to lightly wack his arm. Ted only breathes out a laugh and targets his prostate again, making him grip onto Ted's arm with a gasp. "Now." He tells him, hoping he sounds more demanding than anything, hopefully not desperate.

Ted glances at him, amused, somehow looking far more composed despite the pink dusting across his cheeks and the craze that's spiraling in the color of his eyes. It's not exactly fair, Schlatt thinks, and wishes he could start chipping at Ted's poise, bit by bit. He can only start to wonder what it would look like- hell, feel like when Ted finally snaps, revolve dissipating and the collected yet smug manner he's currently maintaining fading away to make light for something Schlatt doesn't get to imagine for long because Ted is so deliciously moving his fingers in him.

But he wants more, Ted knows that, so he grabs all the pieces of his coolness, trying to shove down that starving hunger inside of him that paints skin a little pink and lowers his hips into Ted's hand, and gives Ted a look of amusement that's not even half real. "Can you seriously hurry up? I'm ready, I'm-"

Ted nips at the skin of his shoulder, a intentional distraction, and fuck does it work, it's just enough to leave the words falling back down Schlatt's throat as he chokes a little, more caught off guard than above anything else, but definitely aroused by it. "The fuck?" He blurts, his head a little too blurry at the edges, mixing up what he thinks he should do and what he wants to do, leaving him all easy like this. He does not hate Ted for it though, and scrambles to find a different response besides just a very surprised 'the fuck '. Ted, however, decides to finally listen to Schlatt about speeding up the process, and slides his fingers out of his hole, punching a short gaspy breath from him.

Ted breathes in, leaning back, and finds Schlatt glaring at him half-heartedly, making him give a crooked smile, glasses completely askew. He does take them off, though, and Schlatt's busy trying to debate whether that's something he will miss as Ted is about to fuck him, or wonder if yeah, may he should have taken them off. Ted scrunches his nose, amused, and Schlatt rolls his eyes.

"You know," He starts, and is only hindered for a second as Ted presses the flat of his palm to Schlatt's bare stomach, humming to himself, and it makes Schlatt fo half crazy. But he's fine, probably. "I always thought you'd talk more."

Ted's eyes light up with interest at that, sneaking a highly delighted laugh in between Schlatt's knees. "So you've thought about this, hm?" He observes, pointing it out like it wasn't already obvious with how easy it was for Ted to kiss him into his room and lay him down bed, finger him and have him silently asking for Ted to just fucking fuck him already. Schlatt rolls his eyes, refusing to deign him for an answer to a question so stupid and ridiculous. Ted accepts that, thankfully, however, then gives a thought about it and shrugs. "Since, apparently, we are throwing it out there, you're just about as bratty as I thought you would be."

Schlatt feels something collapse inside of him, crossing his arms and squeezing Ted with his knees, no matter if it doesn't do anything. "I am not bratty."

"Impatient, definitely," Ted says smoothly, shifting out of Schlatt's legs and slipping off the bed, almost making Schlatt frown with disappointment before he realizes he's moving to get rid of his underwear. "Oh, and demanding, let us not forget."

"You're just slow," Schlatt argues, glancing off into the distance as his stomach twists, tons of ties and knots, a whole shitty laundry machine cycling all his feelings about, intense sexual frustration must be one of them. Where Ted sees impatient, Schlatt sees somebody wanting to take his sweet time to purposefully upset him. Again, Schlatt will always say this: Ted is a right bitch.

He can feel the dip of the bed as Ted gets back on, smiling at him. "And you're just needy."

"Lies," He defends. Because that's totally untrue... Really. He groans, waving dismissively and urging Ted to continue making sexual advances rather then call him such things like bratty and needy.

But Ted just taps his knee. "Gonna need you the other way," He says and for a split second Schlatt is at a loss, not understanding what he means before it clicks and the realization makes blood spin to his dick as fast as he flips over, knees digging into the comforter, lifting himself up to his elbows, forehead sinking into Ted's idiotically soft pillow, the heat of his own breath travelling up his face as he blinks down, waiting, body vibrating with excitement, and hears Ted shift around.

"Not needy, huh?" He sounds all too pleased and Schlatt clenches his teeth, back arching so his stomach presses against the bed, and he manages to lift his head and look over his shoulder, lifting one hand and flipping Ted off. Ted only huffs and Schlatt breathes out, and yeah, okay, maybe he is a little impatient but it's justified.

Then he knows Ted has the condom on, and he is just tiptoeing on a high rope, about to fall the second Ted is actually in him. It's all to slow, yet goes by far too fast, as one Ted's hands come to grip at his hip, they both can sense Ted's thumb swiping across the angle of his bone, setting fire to his nerves as his other hand presses into his right cheek, opening him up, and he feels fucking whoreish with how that's all enough to make him let out a lazy moan, the sound partially muffled into the plush of the pillow.

Then finally, and seriously, finally he can feel Ted's dick slowly easing into him, process still stretching him, and leaving him panting onto the bed, hands grabbing fistfuls of the sheets as Ted fucks into him slowly with a satisfied noise, one that is dragged out into a very unsteady moan when Schlatt clenches around him with a whine.

"Fuck," Ted whispers, sounding just a little on the verge it makes Schlatt smirk, face hidden from Ted but never the less pleased because he thinks Ted's getting it. He's just beginning to unravel, feel himself lose more and more control and dignity just as Schlatt has gone through.

So Schlatt is eager, as he always would be when it came to fucking with Ted, sexual and nonsexual, and pushes back, down on his cock, sinking down further and making Ted stutter, posture faltering, one hand dropping to hold himself up on the bed, his chest coming into contact with Schlatt's lower back, and the angle is fucking golden, making Schlatt moan.

Shit, he thinks for a second, that the position they are in nearly makes having sex with Ted even hotter than it is regardless. Ted's breathing is loud on his ear, but he doesn't care, he actually relishes the way his warm pants and noises fan across his neck, and a little on his back, all between the kisses Ted can not seem to stop placing all around any inch of skin he can reach.

It's so incredibly warm all over, heat suffocating him as Ted's chest, in It's now slightly sweat seemed glory, presses against Schlatt's bare back, his arm against Schlatt's side, and daring to thrust into him once, and instantly finding out they both are fucking hooked.

He supposes that Ted snapping is the man giving him exactly what he wants, which is wonderfully gratifying, sending wave after wave of pleasure up his spine, pouring out of his mouth that tumble one after he next, moan after moan, whines in between when Ted pulls in and out extra rough.

Schlatt lifts his head up, the circulation of his heavy breathing does not do any favors to cool him down. The air is thick, warm, and he can't even properly think as Ted decides it's around the right time to sink his teeth in his shoulder blade, a sharp spike of pain that conflicts yet molds with the delectation that sinks into his skin straight from Ted's mouth, timed with Ted rocking his hips to meet Schlatt, all a mess and all focused on the feel of this fuckin high. Schlatt can not, in any life, hold back the full heavy moan that is torn out of him, knees nearly trembling, as he ducks his head.

"God- Teddy," And he can just feel that he's getting close, that he's about to reach the height of it and come falling back down. "Ted," He tries, absolutely breathless, near incomprehensible, as heat coils in his stomach, far too tense and right and he needs this, even asks for it.

Ted smoothes over the bite mark he's left, hips bucking forward at what might just be the idea of managing to get Schlatt so far, so close to the edge, and he nods into Schlatt's back, gaining his voice, patchy and still clearly ridden with stammers of the physical extortion as he sucks in momentarily, "Shit, yeah, come on, Schlatt, finish for me."

And really, Schlatt's also been waiting to hear that, like this, under Ted as he takes whatever the hell he gives him, drunk of of it, high on the feeling, as he comes, all that winding back and he can finally let go and untangle freely into an even more exceptionally bigger mess as he does what he's told, finishing with Ted's name on his tongue and Ted's teeth in his shoulder.

"Fuck," He mumbles, and almost doesn't realize Ted's still fucking him or biting him, for a moment it's just him in a foggy haze of sweaty blissed-out paradise. And when he's back, it hits him like a wall thrown straight at him, all of it coming back like a flood as the overstimulation drives his nerves off the wall, and he lets out a whine. Of course, he doesn't hate it, but he sed can't take it for much longer. He grunts, the new marks on his shoulder sting, and he tries to think of an actual sentence, which is hard, it's hard to think over Ted's thrust and his coaxing words of praise.

"Fuck, Ted." He gets, which means he can say some things, and whines again as Ted hits his prostate, and it's on the verge of what he isn't about to try and handle. "S too much." Is what he decides will work, and lets out a sigh and a moan as Ted acknowledges him, the world gradually slowing down as it spins around him. Ted's cock is slow in him, brushing up against his walls and it's still good, and he still loves Ted fucking into him, and clenches around him.

And somehow, that's what does it for Ted, which he guesses he's thankful for because he does want Ted to finish with his dick not in his ass, and he was getting pushed just a bit past his limits.

Ted's pulling out and Schlatt lets his body fall completely into the mattress, feeling near boneless, and perfectly fucked. He groans, just a little tired, and winces when he remembers he came, as in there's cum on his stomach. He quickly rolls over, revealing the mess and frowning at the bed, instantly looking at Ted, who tosses the condom on the bin next to his desk, and flops back into the mattress with a careless wave. "Give me a second, I'll take care of it."

Schlatt stirs, then ultimately comes to the conclusion he should have Ted pick it up if he's willing, it means less work, after all. So he nods, staring up at the ceiling. "Okay."

He can feel Ted's gaze on him, and curiously looks over, giving him an accusing glare. "What?"

"Wow, is that all I get?" Ted asks, acting terribly offended, and Schlatt scoffs before looking away.

"For now," He says, and Ted shuffles around for a moment, then hums.

"I have a feeling that for now means never, Schlatt," He teases and Schlatt turns to face him, Ted offers a smile, and Schlatt kisses it right off his face, craning his neck over, and ignoring how sincere it all feels.

"There, dick."

And Ted seems to be happy enough with it. So they lay there, naked, far too sexed-up to have any serious conversations, and neither mention whether they're going to talk about it or not, and neither of them hate that.

So, when the ice cream is done and Ted has to whip out the camera again, it's really only their business why their faces are so pink and they just keep touching and yeah, Schlatt does just switch their spoons for no reason and yeah, Ted did have to pay him another twenty to convince him to try the spinach flavored ice cream.

But he's not actually a money whore, guys.

#smut #fanfic #mlm smut #ted x schlatt #schlatt x ted #ted nivison #schlatt #schlatt smut #ted nivision smut #cameracapturedseries #smut fic

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