#billy antis are mean as fuck

[prettybillycore]

pls billy/harringrove tumblr, interact with this post so I can follow u… I have had a DAY with mean antis and I can’t do it anymore.

to st tumblr in general: pls be kind to other fans. you can have different opinions than someone and not threaten them with disgusting and violent things. my guy, that is what the block button is for. if u have nothing nice or neutral to say, don’t say anything at all

[inquisitor-apologist]

The next time I see someone claim that Sabine Wren is a Swiftie, it’s on sight

Edit: this is a taylor swift hate post about how much I hate taylor swift. No I do not want to hear who you think would be a swiftie. No not Vader not Palpatine not Krennic not anyone get off my post

[letnancykissgirls]

Fuck Billy Hargrove

Because guess what? That same childhood you lament him having?

Max grew up around it too

Neil was still her step-douche. She knew first hand the effects of a toxic and abusive environment after what we can assume to be relative peace.

Did she abuse kids her age or younger than her? Was she blatantly racist, homophobic, or generally a snot blowing idiot?

Say it with me now!!!

No 💕

Because the circumstances can help shape, but do not determine a person and how they behave.

It’s almost as though he’s responsible for his own behavior :0

And all the excuses you make don’t make him a better character :0

As someone who’s seen these issues and experienced one first hand, get out if you’re a Billy apologist

[ickypuppi3]

“steve didn’t know billy was flayed when he crashed his car into billy’s”

[rotating-hyperfixations]

The Billy stans were really on something today. I got subtweeted in several different tags of pro Billy posts because I said that he displayed sociopathic behavior and talked about having a bachelors degree in Psych and how Billy’s behavior is legitimately concerning. I worked in a fucking high school with kids who had behavior issues similar to Billy, in fact I saw that shit enabled. The last two months I was there, we had a kid threatening to shoot up the school regularly and couldn’t do anything about it. He came from a traumatic and abusive household, you want to tell me that kids behavior was fucking ok because he was abused because I can guarantee you it was not. They would not last two minutes if they were actually interacting with a kid who had behaviors similar to his. There’s a reason I didn’t become a school psychologist and work in finance and it’s not because I was bad at my job and didn’t want to help kids.

The amount of asinine takes on my timeline today were really just insane. They ranged from Billy threatening to run over the kids being “not that bad” and not something antis should worry about (because that’s a totally normal thing to do to random kids you don’t know), to there not needing to be any more conversations on Billy because Dacre already talked about them and there doesn’t need to be any additional running commentary. I mean these people will list abusive behaviors and then just say they’re not abusive with not justification other then Billy being abused or it “not being that bad” or “only happening a few times”. They will argue up and down about antis not having nuance when they all look at the stereotypical versions of abuse and don’t account for any subtle forms of abuse like emotional or verbal abuse. And that doesn’t even begin to cover things like the abuse being cyclic and how that means Neil was probably abused too. But they won’t carry the torch for him, because wait for it, he abused Billy.

Normally, seeing pro Billy content doesn’t piss me off the way it did today. But the absolute clownery I was seeing on my timeline, the subtweeting and acting like they were smarter then me because they could regurgitate buzz words about abuse, and the uptake of just being hypocrites or twisting canon got to me. I would tag this in their tag but they’re unreasonable and can’t see out of their asses, and I’m not sure if I want to spend my night arguing with delusional people who carry the torch for the one character who was abused that was a conventionally attractive white guy who they believe is a gay icon while completely ignoring or invalidating other characters who were abused.

[rosesradio]

i’m sorry to be the one that says this but lawrusso is everything h*rringrove wishes it was

[jackkelso]

anyways i hate twitter

[bellaramseysgf]

Knees Buckle (The Boys)

Warning(s); sloppy kissing, sensitive mouth,lowkey mean boys,cumming without being touched,crying/crying kink.

Pairing(s); The Boys X (Afab) Fem! Reader.

Summary; you regret telling your friends that your mouth is sensitive.

A/n; …..this is for @toomanybandstocare 🫡

“It was embarrassing! Stop laughing!” You pouted crossing your arms as you leaned against Eddie’s trailer wall. Eddie chuckled sipping his beer bottle “I’m sorry sweetheart!” Billy nodded “Cmon it’s a little funny” he added. “You guys are just fucking assholes” you sat your bottle down on his coffee table.

“Did your knees really give out? Just from a kiss?” Steve asked and you nodded “it’s normal!! I have a overly sensitive mouth anyway!” You defended and the three men looked at each other. “How sensitive?” Billy asked and you shrugged “I don’t know how to answer that Billy” you leaned back against the wall. “I’m sorry you had a bad date” you rolled your eyes “sure you are billy” “I am!” He defended hiding his smirk with his bottle of beer.

“You’ve always been sensitive” you furrowed your brows at Steve “what’s that supposed to mean!” “Even in school! If a guy just brushed your arm you’d be unable to speak” you rolled your eyes “not true…” “so true! When you first met billy you could barely form the word hi” “I’m anti social! Shut up Harrington!” He rolled his eyes.

“You aren’t sensitive when I touch you” Eddie pointed out “well yeah because I’m used to it. You’ve known me since we were 4” you sighed “I’m never gonna find a boyfriend” “sure you will!” Billy said and you continued to pout. “Dolly, stop pouting” Billy stood up sitting his bottle down and stalking over to you. “Cmon smile for me” he cupped your cheeks and your face flushed from his close proximity.

“What’s gonna make you smile hmm?” He tucked hair behind your ear and you felt like your brain was mushed. Billy chuckled “will a kiss make it better?” He offers and you nod “mhm” you mumble expecting him to kiss your cheek like normal. He smiled and dipped his head down pressing his lips to yours, you let out a gasp and he pressed his tongue into your mouth. His hand cupped the back of your neck keeping you pressed to him.

Your hands fisted his red button up your knees feeling week and like they were about to give out until he pulled away. You gasped leaning down into his chest as he smirked “did your knees wanna give out pretty girl? Hmm?” You didn’t say anything just focused on trying to fix your breathing and Steady your jelly legs.

You didn’t even get a chance because Steve was pushing Billy out of the way and capturing your lips in his and you whined your thighs trembling. Steve gripped your chin keeping you held to his mouth as he kissed you pleasure shooting though you from your mouth. Steve pulls away leaving your lips wet and sloppy and you’re clinging to him.

Your release is once again short lived as Eddie grabs you and tugs you to him kissing you just as roughly as the other two. He wrapped a arm around your waist helping you to stand as he kissed you roughly. Pleasured pangs shot through your body and when Eddie pulled away your legs gave out and you fell down to his carpet you body shivering. Tears pricked your eyes and your face was flushed as your thighs twitched.

“Dolly, did you just cum?” Billy asked and you shook your head “n-no” you stuttered and Steve chuckled “oh you so did. What a naughty little girl” Steve chides and you were limply clinging to Eddie’s jeans, hand fisted into his jeans. “You guys are so….so mean” you sniffled and Eddie bent down lifting you up “Awh, don’t cry sweetheart we are sorry. Just wanted a little fun didn’t mean for that to happen” you hiccuped tears streaming down your face from embarrassment.

“Liar!” You whined and the three men chuckled Eddie sat down with you in his lap, Billy coming over and tilting your head back against his chest “maybe we just wanted to see those pretty little tears of yours Dolly” you sniffled “such a pretty little thing” he pecked your lips again and you squirmed. “sorry baby we’ll fix it, make it right Cmon” Steve pulled your face over to him and pecked your lips. “Yeah, we are gonna make it feel so much better good girl.” Eddie promised and pecked your lips.

[goalieprotectionsquad]

i was thinking about billy hargrove antis last night and honestly my heart goes out to all of the people who hate (or feel neutral towards) billy because they see themselves reflected in him, either now or at a younger age. I’m sorry that ppl are villainizing the victim of abuse and ignoring the fact that abuse and anger and violence can’t be turned into something healthier and more soul-filling with distance and work and self-care. it’s not easy by any means but don’t erase the extremely realistic scenario that being genuinely so awful at 17/18 isn’t a life sentence. growth doesn’t happen overnight. EVERYONE has maladaptive tendencies

[taintedcigs]

GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader

CHAPTER SEVEN: SHE'S THUNDERSTORMS

← prev chapter // next chapter →

✦ summary: in which corroded coffin performs at the hideout (wc: 9.3k+)

✦ warnings — angst, ANGST, arguments, FINALLY SOME DESERVED FLUFF, jealousy, jealous!menace!eddie, the kiddos make an appearance!!!, uhmm kissing,,, eddie and p are an old married couple, drinking, smoking/weed, uhm thats it i think.

✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader

✦ authors note — not proof-read i tried but i cant do it. pls ignore all mistakes. SO VERY SORRY FOR THE WAIT. hopefully this makes up for it. as usual the song is by arctic monkeys, and the other song mentioned is lover you should've come over by jeff buckley. but we'll pretend like its all by corroded coffin so shshsh.

anyway ily all pls interact + like + reblog to support me! i'd also LOVE LOVE to chat about anything abt this series it literally is my baby!! pls dont hesitate to send me an ask about anything mwah thank you for reading💗

series masterlist | series playlist

“Dude, I’m telling you it was not my fault.” Gareth exasperated desperately, hands up in the air in defeat.

But Eddie was quick to shake his head, “You drove her here, how is it not your fucking fault, Gareth?” He spat, bitter and angry. 

“She insisted! She wants to apologize to Pinky!”

“What?” Confusion etched across Eddie’s face. 

With an annoyed sigh, “Yeah, the whole fuckin’ world has to revolve around her,” Gareth muttered under his breath, knowing that saying anything about you would drive Eddie crazy. 

“Watch it,” Eddie warned, mouth downturned in disgust almost immediately. 

“What? It’s the truth.”

“Gareth, I’m not gonna tell you this a second fuckin’ time, okay? Don’t do that shit around me and never say one fucking word about her again, you got that?” He gritted through his teeth, his hand unintentionally clenching into a fist. 

“Jesus Christ.” 

“I mean it,” Eddie spat.

“Fine, fine!” Gareth threw his hands up in defeat, both of them downing their drink before scurrying away. 

Shit.

You knew you shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but it wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to get a drink for the group, surfing through the sea of people—which was unusual for The Hideout. Still, you guessed the only celebrity from Hawkins was enough to have people swarming in, and Gareth and Eddie happened to be chatting right behind you. 

Even though it stung to hear Gareth talk of you like you were the fucking anti-christ, hearing Eddie defend you like that had that familiar warmth spread through your entire body. And you hated it, you hated the soft spot you’d always have for him, how it would take you back to five years ago when he would be there for you, every single time. 

Fucking great, you had so many people to avoid tonight; Chrissy, Gareth, and Eddie. 

With a sigh, you quickly disappeared into the crowd, carrying a tray of drinks for everyone. Plopping it on the booth with a slight sloosh. 

Everyone reached for it and you were quick to slap away Max, Lucas, and Dustin’s curious hands. “Oh, come on!” Max protested with a groan. 

“Not legal,” you hummed with a narrowed gaze. “Yeah, I’m sure you were legal when you were shotgunning beers and smoking joints like it was your lifeline during senior year,” Lucas mumbled under his breath, quick to get settled into his seat with a huff. 

You gasped dramatically, “Lucas Sinclair!” Exclaiming as he gave you a simple shrug. 

“So what’s new with you and Mr. Rockstar, now?” He teased, and you narrowed your gaze at Max who snickered underneath her hand. 

“Nothing,” You mumbled, shying away from everyone’s gaze on you. 

“Good thing, we can always ask the other party, too,” Dustin chimed in with a smirk, head pointing toward behind you. 

There was a slow tap on your shoulder and you were quick to jerk your body around. 

Of course.

Eddie. 

His soft gaze was dumbly addicting, that boyish grin curled deliciously on his lips while amber eyes took you in wholly. 

His gaze wandered to your figure, the midnight blue dress embracing your figure, accentuating your curves, its hem grazed against your mid-thigh, allowing him to get a glimpse of your sun-kissed legs, simple but exuding how breathtakingly pretty you were. 

He couldn’t place why your brows were so tightly pinched together, or why your arms were crossed against your chest, plump lips downturned with a pout. Still, you looked so pretty, so alluring that he could barely form any sentence. 

Mind captured entirely by you, almost feeling paralyzed while he took you in. 

“H—hey!” He stammered, awkwardly putting his hands in the back pocket of his chained black jeans. He was just him, and oh, god, you were you. 

Plush lips that curled into the prettiest smile, the most captivating eyes, even when you seemingly looked upset, brows pinched together, those glossy lips downturned, you were perfect. 

You ignored Eddie’s greeting, your piercing glare was still not that noticeable to him, all he could think about was how beautiful you looked, and how he was glad that he saw you before his set. He wanted nothing more than to see you watching him perform the songs he wrote all about you. 

“Wow… Uhh—you look… amazing,” He mumbled, breath getting hitched on his throat when he saw your unreadable expression. 

And all you could do was give him a tight-lipped smile. Almost immediately wiping that glow off of his face, face going momentarily blank. 

But he should’ve expected this, he knew you wouldn’t jump into his arms at any opportunity, he deserved this. He needed to do more, he needed to win you back. 

He opened his mouth to speak, desperate, needing your approval, but you interrupted. “I—I’m going to get a drink,” you mumbled, face flushed with heat, you didn’t know how to act either. 

Eddie glanced over at the tray of drinks on the booth, with his head tilted, “there’s a bunch of drinks over there,” he mumbled, he didn’t want you to leave. 

“I can see that, but I still want my own,” you sassed with a narrowed gaze, not letting him talk back once you left to go to the bar. 

Eddie watched your figure leave with a deep sigh, turning to the booth to take one of the drinks. “I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

“Yup,” Steve muttered with a nod, and Eddie was quick to give him a death glare. 

“So, will you finally enlighten us on what happened with you and Mrs. Grumpy over there?” Dustin huffed impatiently, grabbing three drinks from the tray now that you were gone, handing the other two to Max and Lucas with a grin.  

“She didn’t tell you guys?” 

“No! Which is a shame because she usually can’t say no to my adorable face.” Dustin blinked quickly, batting his eyelashes while Eddie shook his head at him with a chuckle. 

“Oh c’mon, Eddie, just tell us!” Max let out an impatient huff, her captivating icy blue gaze was pleading in a way that he could never say no to.

These doofuses would always be his weakness. 

“Yeah, Eddie, pretty please?” Lucas added exaggeratedly, mocking Max as she hit him in the chest playfully. 

“Fine, fine!” He sighed, running his hand over his forehead in frustration.  

“But nothing really happened and I don’t think it’s—” When he felt everyone’s gaze piercing through him, he was quick to shut up.  “Okay, okay!” He huffed.  

“She came to my trailer guns ablaze and then just slammed the note against my chest, calling me a coward, and then I told her off—”

“Wait what?” Max was quick to interrupt him, brows pinching together. 

“Yeah, I told her I wasn’t the one who left.”

“Uh, I’m sorry, didn’t you kiss Chrissy in front of her?” Max taunted.

“Yeah, and did you not bring her to Steve’s?” Dustin added. 

With a huff, he turned back to Steve. “Jesus, Harrington, did you gang up all of them against me?” He just gave Eddie a shrug. 

“That’s not even the point! Everything has just become too convoluted with us,” He spat, anger returning quicker than you intended to, while the rest of the gang sipped their drinks with an ‘oof’.

“It’s not convoluted, just tell her how you feel!” Max inquired, gently, almost like she was trying not to tip him off. 

“I—” He took a deep breath. I will. He wished to say, but saying it out loud felt too real. And you were right, he was a coward.

“I’m gonna properly apologize and make things right by her,” he muttered, taking a big sip from his drink. 

“You better hurry up, rockstar,” Steve taunted smugly, the weird face he pulled was making crinkles appear on Eddie’s forehead.

Eddie’s head cocked toward Steve, aggressively. “You better tell her how sorry you fucking are.”

With an all-knowing snort, Steve’s finger accusingly pointed towards something behind him. “Or someone else might swoop in.” 

“Fuck off, Harrington,” Eddie mumbled, rolling his eyes before he turned around with a huff. 

Oh, shit. 

Everyone’s gaze turned toward Steve’s accusatory finger, a slight ‘shit’ escaping from Robin’s lips which Nancy elbowed gently to shut her up. 

Eddie could barely move, his entire face feeling hot and jaw clenching involuntarily, jealousy shooting through him faster than the alcohol swimming in his system. 

Because there you stood, in front of the bar, with your head tilted sideways, a pretty grin sitting on your lips, mellow gaze looking up at the guy in front of you—dirty blonde, hair cut shorter than Eddie’s but almost as long as Steve’s, wearing the most expensive and tidy outfit Eddie had ever seen—making him feel stupid for choosing to wear those black chained jeans. 

His scowl was anything but pretty, brows furrowing in a way that made him look like a complex puzzle, eyeing the way this stranger was touching you. 

“Oh, isn’t that—” Robin spoke up, and the entire table shushed her because they also realized exactly who that was. 

James.

Your ex, not Billy, of course, the other douchebag before Billy. 

He really wasn’t much of a douchebag, a genuine, nice guy, and to make matters worse he was a total gentleman; attributes Eddie would never call a typical high school Jock. 

The relationship only ended because he went to college one too many states away, the distance getting between the two of you, but Eddie always referred to him as ‘the douchebag’ The jealous feeling sunk into his chest even then. 

Rich kid, a jock in high school, older than both of you, someone who had his life together. Everything that Eddie never was. Everything Eddie always wished to be.

But now, seeing you with him made something almost click in Eddie’s head, like he was meant for you as he suited you much better than Eddie ever would. 

He could treat you much better than Eddie would, sure Eddie had his name now, the riches he never had back in high school. But he was still just Eddie.

And he was certain James never kissed Chrissy, he’d never fuck up like Eddie did.

He watched the way your eyes lit up when he was animatedly talking, his gentle touch on your arm, the smile that curled on your lips. 

What if he asked for your number? What if he wanted to reconnect? What if you said yes? Just because Eddie had been a total fucking idiot and couldn’t see what was right in front of him? 

He tried so hard to push the idea of the two of you together back into his mind. To make sure it never left, to make sure it never manifested. 

But the way his jaw clenched and the deadly glare burning through both of you showed that he couldn’t. 

He was jealous, a type of jealousy that quickly translated into anger, one he could almost feel on his skin, hot and prickling rage stabbing into his body, agonizingly slow, making it harder for him to stay glued there and not do anything the more he eyed the hold James had on you. He was standing too close for Eddie’s liking. 

Usually, he’d let this feeling sink back into his mind, take a breather, smoke a couple of cigarettes, and then act like nothing was wrong for the rest of the night while he spent it sulking. Keep that rage caged in his chest, so he could keep his feelings contained. 

But he couldn’t do that this time, no. He wasn’t going to be stupid enough to let you slip through his fingers, not again. He was going to fight for you, he was going to show you that you belonged with him. 

No matter what Mr. Fancy Pants could offer to you, he needed to tell you how he really felt, he needed to make sure you knew. Because even if he could feel the insecurities jabbing into his brain, he always knew, deep down that there was something there between the two of you. Something always left undiscovered because both of you were cowards.

He couldn’t let that happen again, he wasn’t going to go down without a fight. 

“Oh, I get the appeal now,” Max murmured, breaking the silence between everyone, and earning a hard glare from Eddie. 

“What? He seems nice, has pretty hair, much better than Steve’s, and that outfit probably cost more than your wedding,” Max spoke bluntly, now earning more than just the hard glare of Eddie, mouth hung open Steve looked offended, Nancy and Jonathan narrowed their gaze, but Robin snickered behind her hand, almost giving Max her approval. 

“Max!” Lucas reacted before them and Max furrowed her brows, a smirk earning her way to her lips. “You’re still my number one Lucas, don’t worry,” She hummed, pinching Lucas’ cheek and ignoring Dustin’s groan.

“Dude, why would you do that?” Dustin whispered, eyeing Eddie worriedly while nudging Steve by his jacket. 

With a dramatic huff, Steve pulled his collar back, “Relax, I know what I’m doing.” 

Eddie’s fingertips absentmindedly traced the rim of the glass in front of him, his eyes never leaving the two of you when he downed the drink, slamming it back on the booth, making everyone flinch. 

“I’ll be right back,” Eddie muttered, a forced chuckle escaping his lips. 

“What are you even going to do?” Robin inquired, almost mocking.

A smirk landed on Eddie’s face. “I’m not going down without a fight, Buckley.” 

“Not this fucking time,” he hissed, almost all the brows of the gang raising at his determination.

“I’m gonna tell her how I feel, and I’m not letting another douchebag ruin this,” Eddie mumbled, and a dumb smirk was placed on everyone’s face almost too quickly.

He was going for it, and the soap opera was continuing, the gang watched in excitement.

“Was he ever really a doucheba—” Dustin’s worries were quick to die down when he threw him a deadly glare.

Without another word, he stormed off to the side of the bar. Quick, too fucking quickly that it almost gave him a whiplash. He didn’t know what had taken over him, eyes burning the back of their figures as everyone else at the table watched him with a proud look. 

But the child-like jealousy he felt within his body was uncontainable, it felt like his face was almost too hot to touch, he was desperate, quite literally. 

The tap on James’ shoulder was anything but gentle, making him turn to Eddie with his pair of brows furrowed, and Eddie’s muscles were quick to tense. 

His dark gaze only softened when he looked back at you, muscles relaxing, and creased brows returning to their normal form. 

The jealousy eased inside of him, not dissipating quite enough, but slowing with one gaze from you.

Back in the booth, with another sip from his drink, Lucas huffed, “Five bucks says they’ll confess by tonight.” 

Robin was quick to snort at him, “You’re trusting them too much, kid, Steve’s ‘little push’ might help them,” She mumbled with a roll of her eyes. “But Jesus fucking Christ, just look at her face, she’s going to go off at him. The most they’ll probably do is have another fight, get just a little bit close to talking about their feelings, and then do it all over again.”

Steve, ignoring Robin’s theories, exclaimed with a smirk. “Ten bucks that Pinky will sleep with Eddie tonight!”

“I second that,” Max said with a grin.

“Steve!” Nancy warned with a disapproving tut. 

“What?” He huffed. 

“They’re kids!”

“We’re nineteen!” Max groaned. 

“I turn twenty next month!” Dustin chimed in. 

“Still!”

“Fine, fine!” Steve sighed with a glare at Nancy, “Then ten bucks that they’ll kiss tonight!” 

“No fucking way.” Robin shook her head. 

“Nah, they’ll at least kiss tonight,” Jonathan said with crossed arms. 

“Are you guys seriously betting on our friends?” Nancy said with a furrowed brow. 

They all nodded vigorously, “Fine,” Nancy muttered. 

“Then I second Steve, ten bucks for them sle-kissing.” Nancy corrected herself, earning a wicked grin from Steve. 

“Come on!” Robin groaned, dissatisfied by Nancy’s answer. 

“I agree with Robin,” said Dustin with a shrug.

“Finally!” Robin exclaimed, hands rubbing together in victory. “Someone with common sense. There’s no way those idiots are going to do anything but fight, just watch her come back here, all fuming about how much she hates Eddie.”

They all shrugged, going back to continue watching the soap opera unravel in front of them. 

“James!” Eddie greeted with faux excitement, a grin playing on his lips, amber gaze remaining on you. With your brows creased, ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ you mouthed behind their awkward hug.

He shrugged, and his hands clutched James’ shoulder harshly, making him chuckle awkwardly. “Munson, the man of the hour!” He greeted him with a beaming smile.

He really was too nice for his own good, wasn’t he?

“I’d ask what you were up to, but it seems you’ve been doing just fine, rockstar,” James exclaimed, returning a friendly slap to Eddie on his shoulder—in a much nicer way than Eddie intended with his.

You smiled uncomfortably, your gaze still throwing daggers at Eddie, who was actively avoiding it. “I have to say that last album? Fucking Christ, had it playing over and over again for days.” He beamed again, much to both of your dismay.

That all-knowing smirk on Eddie’s face disappeared, the unexpected compliment seemed to make him uncomfortable, conflicting with the defensive walls he had put up.

“Uhh—thanks man,” he chuckled awkwardly, casting a quick, scrutinizing glance at you, catching the small smirk on your lips.

“What have you been up to?” He asked, curiously, desperate to know what the two of you were talking about, nervous to see if the two of you would do anything more than this.

The confidence in the way James held himself, his slicked hair, his fancy outfits up close, Eddie’s insecurities washed him over once again. Now with that part of his brain convincing him that the two of you would somehow end up together again.

“Oh, you know, I was just in town, got a nice job here, thought I’d stop by to see Corroded Coffin play, been seeing the posters everywhere—great marketing by the way,” He hummed, flashing Eddie a smile. 

And Eddie returned a forced one, lips pursed together in annoyance. “and then I thought I’d get a drink, but then I heard this familiar voice next to me, yelling to the guy next to her to fuck off for attempting to steal her drink, and I thought oh that’s Pinky.” Eddie couldn’t help but not keep his gaze on you, studying your features, almost gauging your reaction, trying to nitpick something to fuel his jealousy. 

“Been a long time, but I’d never miss this one’s sassy voice and that pretty face,” He mumbled with a sly smirk, making Eddie’s face scrunch and almost making him scoff out loudly. 

“Oh, stop it!” You mumbled with a smile, all flattered, and Eddie’s gaze narrowed, jealousy overtaking him again. 

“So you two are… reconnecting for the old times' sake, huh?” Eddie asked through gritted teeth and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“Eddie—”

With a smile, James turned to you, “I mean I’d love to grab a drink, are you free tomorrow?”

“Ah! I wish I could, but I need to help Nancy out with some wedding stuff.”

“How about next wee—”

“She’s busy,” Eddie interjected quickly. 

“Eddie!” You warned with your brows raised, heat rising to your cheeks, what the fuck was he doing? 

“Can I just—steal you away for a minute?” Eddie turned to you with his jealous gaze, hand gently having a hold on your arm. 

“Oh, sure, man!” 

“No!” You and James exclaimed in unison. 

James stared at the two of you with his brows furrowed, both of you breathing heavily, an intense gaze connecting the two of you. With a sigh, you followed him out of the crowd, an apologetic smile thrown toward James. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

You scoffed, “Me? What the hell are you doing, Eddie?” You snapped, naze garrowing. 

“I’m not locking lips with James that’s for sure!”

“Jesus Christ I was not locking lips with—” You halted abruptly, the absurdity of the sentence hitting you like a wave. Taking a moment to breathe, “What are you a child?”

“Well, if pointing out the obvious means I’m a child then so fucking be it!” The words tumbled out of his mouth harshly, almost lost in the din of the bar. 

“The obvious? Do I need to remind you that you were the one who kissed Chrissy?” You accused sharply, your anger returning and cutting through Eddie’s jealousy like a knife. 

“Look, I—I’m genuinely sorry for that, Pinky, I am. I should’ve never done that, it was a mistake—” His voice strained, getting lost amidst the background clamor, their set was about to start and Eddie could careless. 

He took a step closer, but you didn’t budge. “You don’t kiss someone as a mistake, Eddie! You don’t invite them to brunch as a fucking mistake!” You snapped, tone a poignant mix of bitterness, jealousy, and an equal amount of hurt. Teary yet ablaze gaze bored into Eddie's, breaking his heart more and more. 

His shoulders sagged under the weight of your words, the realization of the irreparable damage sinking in. 

He took a step closer, a desperate attempt to bridge the emotional gap.“Will you just listen to me?” Eddie's plea hung in the air, the room seemingly shrinking as you and Eddie’s gaze connected. Your breaths mingled, heavy with unspoken words that pulsed between you. 

Only inches apart, and you couldn’t help it when your gaze drooped down to his lips, then back to his mellow eyes.

“Eddie, this is the fifth fucking time they’ve been calling you.” Gareth’s irritating voice snapped the conversation, loud enough to have you almost jump back, as you threw Gareth a daggering gaze. 

“Just fucking wait for a second,” Eddie spat, trying to dismiss him, but the moment was gone. 

And Gareth wasn’t having it. “No way, dude we go on in like five minutes,” He scoffed, momentarily dragging Eddie by his arm.  

“Fine, fine!” Eddie scowled, shaking off the hold.  

“You should uh— go.” 

“Let me explain,” He almost begged, desperate. 

But with another dismissal, you left. 

Eddie wanted to drop everything and run to you, apologize, tell you what he felt, but somehow, some way he was always managing to fuck up the things between the two of you, now. 

It was like he was fourteen again, his dad letting him know that he always managed to fuck up something good, that he was destined to the Munson name. Like he could never manage to do something right.

Wayne, Jonathan, Corroded Coffin, and Nancy all changed that belief. 

But, you? Oh, god, you made him believe that he was good, you pulled him out of that darkness, you were the first one to believe in him, you were the one who encouraged him. You made him feel like he was on the right path, always. 

And you were the one who mattered, if he didn’t have you believing that now, what else did he have? 

With a hand on his shoulder, Jeff was dragging him back, he stared at your figure leaving, and with a sigh, he headed backstage. 

-

Aurora was the fifth song they sang, and it should’ve gotten to you, the way his gaze didn’t leave yours, how vulnerable he sounded, the way he barely even made eye contact with the guitar he was supposed to be focusing on, that should’ve gotten to you. 

But it didn’t. 

Your glossy gaze and your crossed arms, as everyone else around you cheered for him, did nothing but upset you more and more. 

Everything was so confusing that you couldn’t even make sense of yourself anymore. Yes, you were mad about everything with Chrissy, but you also knew he didn’t know everything that transpired between you and her. 

Chrissy and Billy should’ve been enough for him to not want anything to do with her, yet you still believed him when he told you it was a mistake, that he would’ve never done it if he knew. And the pool… the things he said in the car. Hours ago when you went to his trailer.

Sure, he was sorry, and he said he’d prove himself to you. 

But none of you ever out loud said anything, it had always been a cowardice dance around your feelings, and you were afraid that if this dance ended, then it would be all too real. It would all be over.

A heave of breath exited your lips, attempting to drown away the worries, but they were spiked up the second the song ended and Eddie spoke up again. 

“This next song is for my friends over there, Nancy and Jonathan,” He exclaimed with a grin, finger excitedly pointing towards the two of them, it was the first time his gaze had left yours, involuntarily your head turned to your right. 

“They’re getting married this weekend, and were kind enough to let me and my dipshit friends play,” He said with a sheepish grin, and Nancy and Jonathan shyly smiled at him, waving him off in a dismissive way, 

“So this is for the soon-to-be newlywed couple, and for the special girl next to them, who’s mad at me for a lot of reasons, and she has every right to be, I was a total ass.” He earned chuckles and some cheering from the crowd, who unintentionally all faced you. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but hey, maybe this might help my case, huh?” He said with a grin, his gaze was dangerously addicting, full of promises, and you couldn’t help the way it made stupid butterflies appear in your stomach. 

It was so easy for him to get you like this, you were starting to feel pathetic. 

Speechless, and the heat quick to rise to your cheeks, you were trying to ignore the whispers and stares from the crowd, but it was basically impossible. 

The opening chords were enough to rattle your memory, the dreamy guitar riffs from Eddie sweeping in echoing the space as if it was just the two of you. 

You knew exactly which song he was playing. 

And the vocals, added with Eddie’s smooth, sultry voice were enough to have your heartbeat raising making you almost feel small, haziness overtaking your mind. 

And it only brought back one memory to your mind. 

FIVE YEARS AGO.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA.

Another job interview, another opportunity you feel like you have missed.

It hadn’t been long since the two of you had arrived in Los Angeles, yet every passing minute felt like you had been wasting away your time, you needed a job, and no one in stupid LA was hiring you. 

A groan escaped your lips when you plopped yourself onto the couch, right next to Eddie who was way too into scribbling something into a notebook. 

Wait… was he using the…? 

“Is that… the notebook?” Your eyes lit up happily. It was such a small, stupid thing. 

But for you, it was important. That notebook was important. And you never actually thought he’d care about it, but it looked like he was carrying it in his back pocket. 

“Is that a crime?” Eddie sassed.

With a scoff, you narrowed your gaze. “No, doofus! I just didn’t think you’d actually use it.” 

Almost taken aback Eddie sat up straight on the couch, knees brushing against yours now. “Are you kidding? Half of this bad boy is filled with lyrics.”

“What is the other half made of?” You asked with a dangerous grin. 

“You’d have to kill me to find out.” Eddie enunciated dramatically, tone drooping lower to mimic mystery. 

“Oh, come on!” You huffed, curiosity getting the best of you. Scooting closer to him, you pouted. “Can’t you at least give me something?” You asked, all doe-eyed, tone sticky sweet, in a way that always got to Eddie. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” He groaned, almost melting into you, “You know I’ll give you anything if you ask that sweetly.”

You grinned happily, clapping your hands together in victory once he ripped up a page and handed it to you. 

“That is the chorus of a song I’m working on,” He mumbled, eyes nervously following you, waiting to read your reaction.

She's thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She's thunderstorms

Your eyes blinked quickly to process everything. It had been not too long since the both of you had come to L.A., Eddie was desperately trying to send the band’s best material to any label who was willing to sign them. 

And you had just gotten out of a horrible relationship, things had not been steady enough for the two of you to ever discuss anything about your feelings, always tip-toeing around it, but too scared to ever actually delve into it. 

Yet, you could tell this was about you, something about being described as thunderstorms stuck to your mind, maybe he somehow meant it as good. But all it reminded you of was destruction. And he wasn’t wrong. 

It was like everywhere you went, something horrible followed, exactly like a dark cloud looming over, waiting to strike anyone daring to be near you. 

Your hand flew to your mouth, teeth grazing through your nails anxiously. “Who’s this thunderstorm girl?” You asked, masking your nervousness with a brittle smile. 

He snatched the notebook back, ignoring your little huff. “Someone I went to school with,” He answered cooly and then leaned further into your face with a grin. “I was drivin’ around one day, then saw this girl’s car on the side of the road, to be nice I helped fix her car but then she became totally obsessed with me.” He recalled the first time he met you, animatedly.

“Oh, is that so?” 

“Yeah, didn’t leave me alone for years.”

With a narrowed gaze, “Asshole,” you bantered.

“That’s so weird,” He hummed with a smirk “That was her favorite nickname for me,” quipped Eddie and you stuck your tongue at him childishly. 

With a slight push on his elbow, he drew closer to you. “So… what did you think?” He coaxed nervously, you could tell it was important to him, yet being this close was making your mind spin. 

“I like it,” you muttered, unable to face his beautiful features when he was so close, and your mind spinning with the fact that Eddie thought of you as destructive, too.

“That’s it? You… just like it?”

“No that’s not it, it’s just—” With a sigh you snatched back the notebook from his hands. “It’s just… isn’t this bad?” 

“What?” His brows creased together in worry, “W-which one did you not like I can change it-” You shook your head, interrupting his anxious ramble.

“No! I love all of them! But describing… uh—this girl,” Tip-toeing around it, causing Eddie to smirk. “As thunderstorms? Isn’t that bad?” 

“No, not at all. It’s a metaphor.” He shook his head, explaining gently.

“She embodies the essence of thunderstorms—unpredictable and explosive. She has the power to create chaos and destruction, and on the surface that might sound bad, yet within that destruction she sparks a new life. You know, making it so much better,” He hummed, licking his lips.  

“And she also feels like a thunderstorm, intense and electrifying, shaking up your life, in the best way possible.”

“Oh. Wow,” You mumbled, gaze turning mellow with how well he explained everything, heart melting with how he saw you, not just from the surface, like he could peel the intricate layers of your existence, appreciating every part of it. 

“Uhh, then I love that actually,” you concluded with a smile, attempting to mask the fluttering in your stomach. Did he really see you in that way? 

Did he really see you as someone worth all of this? You tried to ignore the tears prickling in your eyes, begging to pour out, but you weren’t going to ruin this moment. 

You didn’t deserve him. In the slightest. He didn’t deserve to get caught up in your bullshit. You shouldn’t have dragged him here. You were being selfish, but, god, did it feel good. 

To finally feel safe, to finally have someone take care of you, to finally have someone you could rely on. After everything, didn’t you at least deserve to be a little selfish? 

But that feeling ate away at you, even though you shook it off for the moment, it was eventually going to return. And it did. 

“You do?” His brows raised in surprise, it made you want to fuck all and just grab his cheeks and kiss him, lips plush together until the two of you couldn’t breathe. 

But you couldn’t afford that, you couldn’t afford the feelings, nor could you afford the fallout. You couldn’t lose him. 

“Mhmm,” You answered with a broken smile, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He always did.  

“She sounds special.”

“She is,” Eddie agreed, eyeing you with a worried look. “Very, very special,” He repeated, he could tell something was off. 

But it was okay, because he was here for you now, and he wasn’t going to leave. 

NOW:

Suddenly the room felt suffocating. 

Eddie’s gaze on you felt mocking.

It was stupid, he had just dedicated the song to you, yet all your mind could focus on was everything bad that had happened. Ruining everything good that happened with him. 

How were you even going to be with him if you couldn’t even handle this?  

Fear, trust issues, being afraid of not knowing how things were going to go, if you would fuck this up too, then that was it for you. No one else could compare, and you knew that. 

Maybe if you just knew that the same went for Eddie, if you just could see that the five years you spent apart had been just as hell-ish for him if not more. The constant thoughts in his mind reminded him that he could never be over you, truly. Sure, it hurt less now, but the scar was still there, scabbing the second someone mentioned you. The realization of knowing no one could ever be you etched onto his skin. 

“Hey… you okay?” Steve’s concerned voice snapped you out of your thoughts, Eddie’s voice served as a background noise while his gaze was still stuck on you. 

“Y-yeah, I just—” You faltered, face growing numb and anxiety increasing when you suddenly needed some air. 

Too much, all of it was too much. 

Eddie could almost sense it, he grew worried at your frowny brows and your tear-streaked gaze. 

“I’ll be right back,” you mumbled, body jerking back scurrying out quickly when you ignored everyone calling out for your name. 

Eddie’s vocals almost halted, missing a few notes on the guitar before Gareth was quick to snap him back to it. 

His head cocked toward your direction, desperate, nearly begging to stop the show, but all of them shook their head quickly, and once Eddie turned back to see the look on Jonathan and Nancy’s face, he realized he couldn’t do this to them. 

This was his friends' wedding, and he owed this to them. When the song ended, he was quick to mouth to the others, “After the next song, we’re taking a break.” It wasn’t a request, it was final.

And frankly, the rest of them were too tired out to even argue with a hot-headed Eddie.

“So how is your plan working, dingus?” Robin jeered at Steve.

“Shut up.”

There were a couple more people outside, all leaning against the wall, chuckling while talking over each other loudly, the smoke of their lit cigarettes quick to take over your senses. 

With a cough, you leaned further away from them, mind still unraveling what had just happened. You didn’t even know what was happening anymore. 

You wanted to smoke, hand itched to reach for the pocket of your jacket and light one to take away your stress, but you could barely breathe as it was right now. 

A light tap on your shoulder snapped you away from your thoughts. 

Who was it now? 

You huffed loudly when your head cocked back.

Fucking great. 

Chrissy.

“Oh, Jesus Christ!” You pinched the bridge of your nose in annoyance, this just had to be your luck, your feet picked up quickly, hand quick to reach for the door and go back inside.

“Please, please don’t leave,” She pleaded.

Your hold on the door remained, barely glancing back at her, “Just leave me alone!” You snapped. 

“I just want to apologize, please, then I’ll leave you alone, forever.”

“Please, just five minutes.”

You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t. 

Your hold on the door faltered, and with a deep sigh, you turned to her. “Fine.”

“Five minutes,” You warned, your patience already wearing thin.  

Her face lit up, blinking a few times to make sure she heard you correctly. “O-oh, okay, good,” She cleared her throat.

“First of all, I’m sorry, for everything, for what I said five years ago, for what I did with Billy, for using what he did to you like a fucking joke. For w-what I said about your parents.” She stammered.

“It’s too late, I know, I fucked up, I shouldn’t have done any of those things, you didn’t deserve it. You deserved a better friend, someone like you.” She almost looked at you like she was waiting for your approval, gauging your reaction, your expressionless face encouraged her to continue. 

“I was bitter, jealous. Which isn’t a fucking excuse, I know, I was just—” she took a deep breath. “You were everything I wanted to be, careless, had all the boys' attention, and you didn’t even have to try, you didn’t have to do anything, and they’d just fall at your feet. And I was stupid, bitter, and insecure enough to envy that.”

“That’s not my problem, Chrissy.” You spat out with your gaze narrowing, you couldn’t handle her pity party right now.

“And really, you wanted to be me? Chrissy I didn’t have parents, my boyfriend was a narcissistic asshole.I was broke.” You scoffed with an ironic chuckle, shaking your head in anger.

“I know, I know. It was stupid, and I was stupid, and you didn’t deserve any of that.” Sincerity. Something you haven’t seen from her in years.

“I just wanted to tell you that none of it was your fault.” Now your gaze narrowed, a chuckle rolling on your lips. 

You opened your mouth to speak, to protest. “No, I know you’re going to say you didn’t think that but I know you do. Even though you hate me, which I don’t blame you, I know you like the back of my hand, you blame yourself, you always did it. And I’m telling you shouldn’t because it was all my fault. A-and I shouldn’t have done whatever I did with Eddie, I practically took advantage of him like he did to me and then got mad at him, oh god, I’m such a fucking bitch, aren’t I?”

Your eyes blinked quickly to process all of it. Her apology didn’t mean anything, her words didn’t mean anything. But deep down, you knew she was right, even if you wouldn’t admit it. Because you spent many nights blaming yourself, for even opening up to them in the first place. 

“First of all, breathe,” you mumbled with annoyance.  

“Second of all, yes you are,” you huffed. 

“And, taking advantage? What do you mean?” 

“Some fucked up part of me wanted him because I knew you wanted him back then, a-and he was right there and he was being nice to me and—” Chrissy took a deep sigh, big blue eyes staring into you knowing that you were not going to like what she was going to say.

“I should’ve known.”

With puckered brows, you crossed your arms against your chest. “Known what?” 

“That he was still hung up on you,” she muttered.

You were quick to roll your eyes, “Chrissy—”

“No, no just listen.” But she wasn’t going to let you spiral.

“Look you were dumb enough then—” You threw her a glare, so daggeringly cold that she stopped.  

“Sorry,” she muttered before continuing, “Look, the two of you wasted a lot of time. And I know it’s funny hearing this from me because I took part in it, but I’m only saying this because he’s a nice guy, even though I don’t particularly like him right now, he’s a nice guy, and you deserve someone like him.” She enunciated, azure hues embodying such sympathy that had you taken aback.

“You loved him back then, too. I could see it, and I could see it in him, too. That’s what I always wanted, and maybe that’s why he intrigued me so much. But I knew he never got over you.” 

You could feel your heart skip a beat, it wasn’t anything new, but hearing this from her, it meant something. 

You needed to take control of your feelings, and hearing Chrissy’s words was doing nothing but fuel them more. “Chrissy stop—”

“No, Pinky! He told me! He told me it was you! It had always been you!” She exclaimed, her face growing a nice pink color as you stood frozen.

Your brain felt mushy, rest of your body felt so warm, but still that anger lingered. Why couldn’t he just tell you this? Why couldn’t he just show you?

“What?” You mumbled, brows pinched together.

“Yes!” She exclaimed, sighing at your reaction.

“Look, I just wanted to tell you this, and tell you to get your head out of your ass. I know I’m the last person you wanted to hear this from, but I had to at least make one thing right for you because I know I fucked up every other thing.”

You wanted to tell her to stay the fuck out of it, you wanted to tell her it was all because of her. That she basically ruined your life. But it wasn’t true. It wasn’t all her, it was Billy, too. It wasn’t all her, Eddie played a part in it, too. 

But you weren’t going to waste your breath, you didn’t need to blow up in her face for her to know she was wrong, she needed to let that feeling sink in. You weren’t going to forgive her, and you didn’t need to make a fuss about it to feel real. 

This was it. A closure. 

“I’m sorry, for everything. And I know that you won’t forgive me, but that’s okay. I’m sorry, but please listen to what I just said. Please don’t get in your head and try to ruin something this perfect, okay?”

A peaceful smile appeared on your lips, and you took a deep breath. “You’re right, I won’t forgive you.” You weren’t going to give her any satisfaction or approval, her words didn’t mean a thing. 

“Goodbye, Chrissy.” You mumbled. 

You could see her stammering, struggling to open her mouth, because she couldn’t say anything else, and this is what she promised, five minutes. It was over. 

You backed yourself against the wall, fingers fishing out the pack of cigarettes sitting in the pocket of your jacket. 

Without having anything else left to say, she left. And you heaved a sigh of breath, the tip of your cigarette smoldering when you lit it. 

You inhaled with eyes squeezed shut, head swirling with much to think about. But at least you were alone. Finally, some space for you to think, and to lay out a little bit of your stress with the most unhealthy outlet.  

And of course, that peace lasted for about a few minutes, just when you had finished your cigarette, squishing the remains on the nearest trashcan, Eddie appeared, lightly squeezing your arm to have your attention.

“What?” You snapped when you saw him, eyeing the way he looked taken aback. 

His hands held up in front of his chest in defeat, clearly not understanding your sudden rage. The laughter around you had died, people who were smoking outside the bar were clearly more entertained by your drama. 

With a huff, you dragged Eddie away from it all, still close to the bar but far away to not have any other distractions. 

He sighed, brows etched with worry. “Why did you leave?”

Your hand flew to your forehead, trying to calm your nerves, trying to clear your mind. “Eddie, are you kidding me?” You scoffed, arms wrapped across your chest defensively. “You can’t just drag me away from James, dedicate songs to me and—”

His forehead puckered. “Why not? They’re all about you anyway,” he said with a sly smirk. 

“Aurora, She’s Thunderstorms, Zero, Forget Her, Resolve, Fool, two fucking albums, all dedicated to you, you know that.”

“These notes? These stupid notes I’ve been carrying?” He huffed loudly, hand quick to fish inside of his back pocket, aggressively flipping through the pages. “Even if every nerve in my body were numb I’d still be able to feel her.” He turned the page toward you before flipping again. 

“I have tried to forget you but I can’t, you invade my dreams, my mind, my whole fucking life. You’re stuck in me and I don’t have the heart to get you out.” He shook his head, reciting it all like it was nothing, but you felt all of it. 

His notes making you dizzy. His words scrambling your mind like never before. 

“She’s the tear that hangs inside my soul forever. That one is uh—in a song, too,” he mumbled, cheeks flushing with how passionate he was getting, and you held your breath, it’s like you were staring into his soul. 

Stark naked. Laying bare, he really was doing this. And you didn’t want him to stop, even though your mouth suggested otherwise. 

“And so much more embarrassing stuff that I don’t want to include to not ruin my chances,” he muttered with a lazy smile, and you hated that you could feel it in your skin, the flutters, stomach flipping in the best possible way. 

“All fucking about you. Because it was you, from the moment we met.”

“S—stop,” your mouth betrayed you, it was the furthest thing from the truth, and you needed to hear more. You needed the reassurance, you needed him to convince you. More than anything in the world. 

But it was all so scary, and he was so close to you that you could feel his passion integrated into your veins. 

“Why, Pinky, why should I stop? Why do we have to tip-toe around each other, huh?” He was desperate, eyes flashing with a newfound of desire for you, he wasn’t going to let it go this time.

And it scared you, him being this determined, getting so close to what you actually felt was making your skin crawl, because the way you could feel your heart thumping against your ribcage wasn’t normal. What he was making you feel wasn’t normal. “Because w—we can’t!”

“We can’t what?” He complained, a deep sigh escaping his lips. 

“W—we can’t do this, you can’t—”

He shook his head with his brows puckered. “Who are you to decide that? I want to, I so badly want to,” He spat, taking a step closer to you, face merely inches away from you. 

His gaze was dangerously inviting, those alluring amber eyes melted into yours, making your pupils dilate, breath hitching as you struggled to keep him away. “Please, Eddie, d—don’t.”

You gulped, hand raising to put a space between the two of you, but it was impossible. He was in your veins now. “Too much has happened, you with Chrissy and—” You didn’t even know what you were blabbering about, just anything to stop your feelings from getting out. 

“Chrissy was a mistake!” He retorted with a hiss. He hated that you saw Chrissy as a problem between the two of you. Yes, he fucked up, but it really was a mistake, he’d take it all back in a heartbeat if he could. 

Your gaze narrowed, that pettiness returned when you scoffed. “Which time, when you kissed her or when you brought her to brunch?”

Eddie let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head when he looked at you with a dumbfounded look. “Jesus fucking Christ…” He took a breather. “I can’t believe you’re doing that again,” he mumbled, realizing that it wasn’t going to be easy to get you out of this mindset. 

It was going to be hard, to convince you of anything, and he understood that, he had trust issues himself, but he wasn’t going to back down. This was it.

You crossed your arms against your chest, gaze avoiding him momentarily. “Doing what?” You muttered.

“You just— you get scared when things get serious, running away when it gets just even a little bit too real,” He scoffed, angling closer to you, fingers ruffling through his curls in frustration.

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah! You call me a coward and fucking look at you!” He snapped, hands gesturingly pointing to you.

“Scrambling just at the thought of us being together.” He argued, some part of him feeling a bit insecure, that maybe you didn’t want this. But, no, he saw that glint in your eyes, he knew the little angry twitch on your lips. You felt the same. And all you needed was a little push. 

You breathed, mind scrambled and trying so hard to convince yourself to leave. “T—that’s not it, you—uh you just don’t get it!” You complained with a huff. 

Another step closer. One more step and his lips would be on yours, Eddie knew this, you knew this. His gaze momentarily drooped down to your lips, then back to your dilated pupils. 

“Then make me understand, let me help you, don’t fucking run, not this time.” It was a little jab, but something needed to get you to spill, he was playing all the right cards and you were getting overwhelmed.

“J—just stop!”

“Why? Fucking why? Tell me one good fucking reason as to why we shouldn’t try it, we never even gave it a chance!” He ranted, veins in his forehead popping with how much he was trying to keep it all together. And you weren’t even trying. 

“We wouldn’t work, okay?” 

He shook his head. “Not good enough,” He argued. 

“W—we’re on two different paths now, Eddie.” You didn’t have any good excuses, he was right. 

“Not good enough.” Once again, that same arguing tone. 

You huffed. “Too much time passed and—”

“Not fucking good enough!” He cursed, hands landing on your shoulder to keep you in place, and your cheeks flushed immediately, while still trying to deny it. You were pathetic.

“Stop being a fucking coward!” He seethed, eyes fiery and red. 

Why were you insisting on being so fucking stubborn? You were driving him crazy, yet it wasn’t going to stop him. 

Coward is what had you scrambling. Because you knew he was right. “Fuck you,” You spat, body jerking quickly to leave, feet picking up quickly as Eddie groaned loudly.

So. Fucking. Stubborn. 

He was quick on his feet, letting curses slip past his lips before he yanked you to him, earning a small gasp from your lips before you finally faced him. 

Gaze mellow, but just as fiery, your furrowed brows and dilated pupils only encouraging him more and more. Flutters in your stomach had never left, your skin was burning, everywhere, but specifically on the hold he had on you. 

You didn’t manage to utter anything else, you couldn’t because he had you this time. There was no running away from it, your heart was hammering so hard inside of your chest that you were sure he could hear it. 

His hold on your arm was firm but somehow gentle, letting you know that he wasn’t going to let you go.

You opened your mouth, wanting to speak, but he interrupted, his hands now firmly cupping your cheeks, squishing you with force, and you couldn’t help the contended sigh that left your parted lips. “I’m not letting you run away, not this time,” He mumbled, words sounding like silk falling from his lips, all you could do was gaze into him. He stood inches away from you, breath fanning against your face.

He licked his lips desperately, gaze drooping to your candy-glossed, needy lips. Face so close that you could feel the desperation radiating off of him. And you shared it. You managed to take a quick breath before his hand fisted your hair and his mouth crashed down to yours.

He pressed you harder against his chest, breathless, your lips molded together, a perfect fit. And he could taste the Cosmopolitan on your tongue, a tinge of alcohol mixed with your sweetness, making his head spin, a taste he realized he’d never have enough of. 

Those little thumps your heart did were now out of control, possibly pounding a million beats a second. His small stubble scratched against your chin, rough, it should’ve made you uncomfortable yet all it did was make you kiss him harder, shutting up your brain as your mouth replied to him, kissing him back with just as much force, you melted into him, melted into his hold, and you let him engulf you, fully, completely. 

Plushy lips slightly parted apart, his tongue slipped past between your teeth, your hand finding its way to his hair, feeling the curly strands between your fingers, it’s softer than you expected and your lips parted to let out a slight whine as you tugged at them.

All those years of wishing, all those years of wanting, yearning, and needing exploded into this. Kissing like your lives depended on it, chests pressed against each other, Eddie’s hand slipping to your waist, desperately tugging you closer to him as if that was even possible. 

Your heart exploded into your chest, his tongue not wavering the chance to explore yours, sucking on it, greedily, desperately. 

The background noises disappeared, the cackles of the girls, the booming music coming from inside of the bar, and the honks from the busy street. They ceased to exist and it was just you and him. Feeling each other, completely, fully. 

You knew at some point one of you had to pull away, but none of you dared to, it was just pure desire, a hunger that couldn’t be sated. 

All the years spent yearning and pining, acting like two fucking idiots. 

He wanted to breathe you, drink you in, and he wasn’t intent on letting you go. Ever.

You from five minutes ago who wanted to refuse him, refuse this was an absolute fucking idiot. Gone. You tasted like the sweetest honey and he tasted like everything you wanted and more. It’s even needier than the first kiss, more sure, it’s like a promise. 

This is it. Both of you can feel it. This finally changes everything. 

final authors note — uhhhh so yeah... if yall wanna talk about that my asks r open LMAO.

[skylarsblue]

billy loomis / stu macher x reader with autism? tysm! and if you can’t do it no worries ^^

(Autism gang, let's go! Also, I added Danny for my own enjoyment, forgive me.)

✦Ghostfaces With a S/O That's Autistic✦

✦Content; No warnings that I can think of, fluff, GN!Reader with nothing specified physically✦ ✦Stu; He/Him, Billy; He/Him, Danny; He/They✦

✧Stu Macher✧

I'm fairly certain Stu is neurodivergent, ADHD specifically. You look at this man and tell me he has a neurotypical brain, I dare you. Yeah, no, you can't.

Now given this is 1995-1996, the concept of people having ADHD & Autism wasn't super accepted. Honestly, people treated it like a devastating blow most of the time. (Sadly, not a whole lot has changed) I imagine Stu doesn't really understand what being neurodivergent really means. Like, he knows what autism is, but he's got a bit of a warped view of what it means for you. You can blame media for the majority of it, but don't worry! He's not gonna go Anti-Vax Mom™ on yo ass.

He'll actually listen to you, even if he doesn't fully understand. You'll have to break it to him that Autism isn't a life-destroying thing. It just means you process things a bit differently, have sensitivities, etc. He'll grab the concept pretty quickly.

When you explain stuff like sensory processing issues, he'll actually relate really hard. Stu's lived his whole life thinking he was just weird for his reactions to certain stimuli, but when you describe your own experiences, it makes him question.

Bringing up that he might have ADHD won't make him want to get tested, he doesn't see a need, it won't change anything about him and he's not huge on the idea of medications. But, he will ask you more questions. Autism & ADHD are different but they do have a decent amount of overlap and you know more than he does so he trusts your judgment.

"Wait is that why I feel like I wanna tear my skin off when I feel velvet?! ...YOU MEAN NOT EVERYONE HEARS ELECTRICITY? IT'S JUST US?!"

Mans has an epiphany every five seconds while you're talking.

When it comes to him helping you, he tries his best, but he's spacey and forgets certain things. Still, he does his best to keep it all in mind. If he knows there's one food you absolutely can't stand, he'll keep it off your plate. Even if it means scraping it all onto his own and making a mess.

Is there a sound that makes it feel like your head's about to explode? He'll cover your ears, put his head on your head/shoulder and hum something.

Sometimes, if you two share a sensitivity, he'll loudly express his hatred for it and insist you both leave/get rid of whatever's causing it.

Has probably broken something that was making a noise you both hated. "Ugh, finally. Look, see? Problem solved! Aren't I a genius, babe?"

Stu absolutely understands the consumption of hyperfixations and he supports you completely. If it's something he can't get into, sometimes he comes across a bit aloof to it, because it doesn't give his brain the dopamine rush it does for you. Still, he's glad you have something you enjoy and he'll still listen to your rants. As long as you do the same for him.

If you both are hyperfixating on the same thing at the same thing? Bro, y'all annoy the shit out of everyone and he does not give a single fuck.

If anyone makes you feel like shit for talking about it, he's gonna rip them a new one. He makes fun of their biggest insecurities if he feels they deserve it. Is it cruel? Yes, but he, doesn't, care. If you don't wanna feel his wrath, you sit there and listen intently to his baby's ramblings, damnit.

Stu's a pretty intense dude and he likes a lot of stimulation. But he understands if you get overwhelmed sometimes. His tolerance for lots of stuff going on is a lot higher than most people. Again, he'll cover your ears if it's a lot of noise. He'll cover your eyes if it's too much visual stimuli, keep you close to his body in a crowd. This also helps if you're shorter than him because he can surround you completely, helps feel like you're disconnected from the stressors around you.

He's hella rich, he'll get you all the fidget toys you want. All the shit you want for a hyperfixation. Best believe you get the best headphones and music player the market has to offer for those times you need to drown shit out.

He's a touchy-feely person and he's likely to forget your physical boundaries sometimes if touch is a problem for you. But he'll always apologize when you correct him. If touch isn't a problem, he's super cuddly. And if you're the type to be only okay with touch from specific people, he gets a huge ego boost from being that person.

He's a bit boney & fidgety but makes a decent human blanket.

An overall 10/10 for a Neurodivergent Partner.

✧Billy Loomis✧

I'm gonna be real with you, chief. He's not the best. He's not terrible! But not the best. I'm not saying he's gonna bully you for the things you do, no, he's an overall sweet partner in all honesty. He's patient and understanding.

Still, if he doesn't understand a thing you're doing, he might come across a bit annoyed. Like if you have an audible stim that you keep repeating, his tone comes across a bit snappy when he asks why you do it. He's not trying to upset you, his temper's just a bit shaky.

Sitting him down and explaining that you're autistic might get you a few annoying questions. He's not an asshole, he means well, but the questions come across rude. Ex; "But you don't act autistic.", "But you do (insert stereotypical thing).", etc. If you tell him that most of the stuff he knows is basically all poor representation and rumors, he'll give you a pretty basic apology and he'll stop. Billy will also ask what else is a result of shitty ideas of autism so he knows better. (You'll need to tell him that the R-word is a slur. He doesn't really use it but it's good for him to be aware.)

I personally see Billy as neurotypical, but he's been friends with Stu for a long time. If you have behaviors that overlap with Stu's, he'll handle it perfectly. He's a veteran at it.

Sometimes he'll think you're being a bit too sensitive about sensory stimuli, but when you explain it's not just that you dislike something, he'll be more willing to understand.

"It's just a bit of corn, it's not that bad." "Billy, when I bite into a single kernel, it triggers my fight or flight response, my body goes into panic mode, and I wanna tear my hair out and throw up. It is that bad." "...oh. Aight, here, trade me."

When it comes to overstimulation caused by stuff like noise and people, he actually understands. He's an introvert and large crowds exhaust him, which makes him irritable. If he sees you starting to get antsy and uncomfortable in a loud environment, he'll give you his walkman headphones and find a reason for you both to leave. He's excellent at manipulation, he'll find a way.

If you have skin sensitivity, he'll start keeping things on him that help alleviates it. Scissors to cut tags out of your clothes, a spare shirt(that's his because he totally has a kink for that), hand sanitizer, etc.

Best believe he's ready to throw hands with anyone who gives you shit. He will whoop ass, no hesitation. Billy's a very possessive & protective partner most of the time, he's ready to defend your honor at the drop of a hat.

He's got his hobbies and likes, but he doesn't have anything he'd consider a hyperfixation. Still, he'll be perfectly happy for you that you've found one. Sometimes he has to ask you to stop talking when you're rambling about it, but he learned after the first two times to specify it wasn't personal. He just needs quiet every now and then and he knows you'll get sad if he isn't actually listening to you.

Like Stu, he'll be very happy if your hyperfixation has anything to do with his own interests. Billy will actually be impressed if you know more niche facts and nuances than he is, this is often the easiest way to hold his attention when you're in a long info-dump.

He's not as rich as Stu, but he's got some decent money, plus a part-time job. His spare money will definitely be spent on your interests, no matter what it is. It could be a hyper-specific brand of toys and he'll buy the most expensive one they offer. He wants you to be happy! (And the terrible part of him wants to have the leverage to keep you loyal to him, no matter how terrible his actions get)

Despite his struggle to understand sensory processing disorder, he actually offers some pretty decent suggestions to get around it. Using myself as an example, I often struggle to brush my teeth because it'll feel like bugs are in my teeth. If you had something like this, he'd come up with a potential solution on the spot. "What if you brushed them in the shower? That way you can focus more on the water than the brushing."

Again, similarities between you and Stu will catch his attention and he'll make a mental note of it. One, he'll see if he can use his experience with Stu to handle your symptoms better. Two, he'll definitely consider asking you if Stu's neurodivergent.

Not the best, but he's trying his best. Solid 7/10.

✧Danny Johnson✧

ANOTHER NEURODIVERGENT.

I headcanon that Danny has AuDHD, which is both Autism & ADHD. Once he was diagnosed (well into his twenties), it was like they had opened pandora's box. Researching it made them go "OHH THAT'S WHY" every five seconds.

He grew up in rural Utah with a shitty dad who would definitely not treat Danny well if he knew about his son's neurodivergence. But that doesn't matter cause the bastard's dead. Letting Danny have the freedom to research the topic to his heart's content, which he does. It helped them immensely in terms of lifestyle.

When you come into his life and explain that you're autistic, he's completely accepting right off the bat. That's also assuming he wasn't stalking you for months prior to your relationship and that he didn't already know to begin with.

He's probably the most equipped to handle things like sensory overload & sensitivities, given he has so many himself. He's also, ironically enough, got the most patience for things like stims & info-dumping. Danny's a tempermental hypocrite but on this list he's the most chill with these things, funny eh?

They absolutely pick up on some of your stims and you pick up on his. It makes them so much worse, but it's cute. His main stims involve his hands and little sounds with his mouth, like whistling or humming.

Your food sensitivities don't need to be explained to him, he's got a million. It's aggravating because he wants to be a foodie so bad but then they have all these damn sensory problems. If a single piece of broccoli will ruin your entire meal, broccoli will be essentially banned from the house. He's a romantic like that.

Pre-cuts tags from your clothes, picks out things from pre-made meals that you hate before he even gives it to you, has a plethora of scented candles you like to cover up troublesome smells, and he's got a million versions of headphones/earbuds. They all work he just loses them constantly, buys more, then finds the originals again. Honestly, they have a whole drawer dedicated to music players.

Your ability to stick to a schedule helps out with his ADHD experience. He's got a pretty decent routine himself, but sometimes he'll fuck it up and find it hard to get back on track. For example, they've misplaced their meds and it's fucking up their whole morning? There you are with the correction and they're back on track. He'll jokingly call you a saint for it.

Sometimes his temper gets touchy and he'll get snappy at something you do. (This is more a general thing and less an Autistic thing) He gets real guilty when you look at him with sadness and quickly apologizes. Which is baffling, given they were pretty sure they were incapable of guilt for a long time.

"I'm sorry, sorry, it's not you. Not mad at you. Mad at this other thing, it's not personal, doll, sorry."

If you're overstimulated, Danny's got you covered, rest assured. He's got earbuds, at least three fidget toys, and he's always ready to give you comforting pressure. Whether it's by acting like a weighted blanket or a tight hug. They also really appreciate when you return the favor when they've had a bad day at work.

They get a huge ego boost if you consider him your main comfort, or if your comfort object is something of his. Like a gift they gave you or some article of their clothing.

Actively researches your hyperfixation so he can engage in conversation with you about it. They like seeing you get all excited when they bring it up. Most of the time, he ends up having a hyperfixation on it as well. If you do the same for him? You're asking for a cuddly bitch of a man.

Feels their cold heart melt when you do something to help their AuDHD. Remembering his safe foods, his fidgets, etc. If he wasn't obsessed before, he is now.

Anyone who gives you shit for being autistic is dead by morning, that's a basic rule. If you defend him against bullshit? He's fucking the shit out of you.(/hj)

Considers you a hyperfixation, honestly.

100/10, you caught a winner with Danny. If you don't mind obsessive behavior, possessiveness, and murder. But c'mon. You're here. Of course, you don't mind.

[therainscene]

There’s a genre of anti-Byler argument that I like to call But It Was The 80s.

I’m sure you’re familiar with it: Will getting his heart broken would be good rep actually, because that’s just what it was like in the 80s; Mike being queer too would be unrealistic, because there weren’t that many gay people back then; and did queers ever really experience joy prior to 2015 anyway?

...But I think it’s worth taking a look at what the show is trying to tell us about being queer in the 80s. Stories, especially ones with fantastical elements such as monsters and superpowers, aren’t obligated to be perfectly realistic so long as they resonate with our experiences.

So how does Stranger Things resonate with queerness?

Every season so far has given us an iconic moment in which a character tries to stand up to a monster and is horribly punished for it:

In S1, Will loads a gun and faces the Demogorgon in self-defense... but he can’t fight it and gets dragged into the Upside Down.

In S2, Will takes Bob’s advice to tell the Mind Flayer to go away... but it gives zero fucks and consumes him anyway.

In S3, a small act of compassion from El inspires Billy to betray the Mind Flayer... but he’s immediately killed for trying.

In S4, Eddie decides that he’s done with running, so he distracts the bats to buy his friends more time... and succeeds! But at the cost of his own life. A waste, given that his friends’ plan to kill Vecna didn’t even work.

The show even brings this (lack of) progression full circle by paralleling Will and Eddie’s disappearances:

If we read the monsters as metaphors for the overwhelming force of bigotry and conformity in the 80s, it seems as though the show is telling us that there’s no point in trying to fight back, because it will crush you back down every time.

Indeed, we see a more literal but subtle version of this message play out in S3′s rain fight -- Will tries to call Mike out on losing himself to comphet, but Mike defensively lashes out at him, (unintentionally) reminding Will that he doesn’t have the right to question heteronormativity. Devastated that not even his plan to be Best Friends Forever with Mike was an acceptable compromise, Will takes that reminder to heart.

This definitely resonates with what it felt like to be a queer adolescent in the 80s... (and 90s... and 00s...) but it’s an awfully bleak message. Is that really the story Stranger Things is trying to tell?

The rain fight is the lowest moment in Will’s arc -- it’s only uphill for him from here.

In S4, he repairs his friendship with Mike and accepts that this is the best he can hope for, which is exactly the sort of bittersweet note a bleak story about the reality of being gay in the 80s might end on... if Will didn’t have a whole season’s worth of uphill journey left to do.

Let’s take another look at those iconic monster-facing moments. Was there really a lack of progression there, or were they, too, building up to something?

In S1, Jonathan and Joyce aren’t home and the phone isn’t working, forcing Will to face the Demogorgon by himself.

In S2, Will is emboldened by advice from an ally... but that ally, though well-meaning, has no idea what he’s talking about, and isn’t there by Will’s side when the time comes to actually face the monster.

In S3, El’s act of compassion is too little too late, and Billy doesn’t have time to fix his mistakes and team up with the party.

In S4, Eddie ignores Dustin’s demands to regroup with him, and faces the bats alone. The rest of the party are working as a team to fight Vecna... but interestingly, Will isn’t there to help them form a plan.

The problem isn’t that the monster is undefeatable -- it just can’t be defeated by any one person, nor can it be defeated without the guidance of its victims who understand it better than anyone else.

Yes, in S4 they have Max, who provides some helpful insight, but this is her first time dealing with Vecna -- she doesn’t have the level of experience that Will does. Compare to S1, when Joyce reaches out to Will through the lights for advice on how to rescue him -- he provides a little insight, but ultimately, Joyce doesn’t get the information she needs until she teams up with someone with lived experience.

This principle isn’t unique to queerness, of course, but it certainly resonates strongly with queerness.

The 80s may have been a godawful time to be gay, but it’s hardly as though gay pride didn’t exist. The progress that we’ve made since then was only possible because the LGBTQ+ community banded together and fought for their rights -- in the 80s.

And that’s the deeply homophobic core of But It Was The 80s as an argument: that queers shouldn’t remember the work done by our elders or be inspired to do the same, but instead swallow the lie that cishet society benevolently decided on its own to stop being homophobic. That we should be thankful for what scraps they’ve granted us, and wait patiently in the closet for them to grant us more.

Where Will finds himself at the end of S4 -- grateful that at least he’s loved platonically and too beaten down to ask for more -- is precisely where the heteronormative audience expects him to be. His queer arc has satisfactorily resolved itself, as far as they’re concerned, so in S5 he might as well die or become a villain or whatever.

Or, more charitably, he can unlock his powers and be the hero, but only on the condition that it’s strictly a metaphor for coping with trauma and he doesn’t get all gay about it.

But he is absolutely going to get all gay about it.

Will’s story, much like Stranger Things as a whole, isn’t about accepting the bleakness of being an outcast in the 80s -- it’s about staring that bleakness in the face and saying: “Unacceptable. I deserve to be happy on my own terms.”

[fizzigigsimmer]

Me out here wanting to know why so many die hard antis want Eddie to come back as Kas, when narratively Billy already fulfilled that storyline and they condemn him for it.

Them: Billy was a villain!!! The difference between Kas!Eddie and Kas!Billy is Eddie died trying to do the right thing and he would never want to become a puppet for Vecna. It would be his GoodnessTM that would help him break through vecna's control.

😆 I can’t. Billy was a teenage antagonist in a teen bully storyline who got drugged by his little sister, laid out and “taught a lesson”. He was never the sum of all evil or the big bad villain of his season. Be serious. The next season Billy, a teenager, was then dragged into a warehouse and physically violated by a supernatural monster. He never wanted to be or chose to be Venca's puppet. It doesn’t matter whether or not he was a “good” person in your eyes when it happened to him, it happened and he didn’t deserve it. I do not give a fuck how mean or how racist you think this character was. It is insane to suggest Billy deserved what happened to him and if that is how you honestly feel, please do not be surprised when people outside of your bubble point out how insane you are.

I can say with full confidence that you are not objective about this. You have lost the plot. I wouldn’t wish what happened to Billy on grown ass people I actually cannot stand. Real ass people who are plenty racist and actually causing me real harm, unlike this fictional character. So I just can’t wrap my head around this mentality that allows a person to think Eddie being Kas would be amazing because it’s “so tragic but poignant and redemptive”, while at the same time rigidly viewing Billy as a monster who deserved to die. It isn’t rational.

It was the good inside of Billy that allowed him to break Vecna's control. And then Billy died trying to save people. And not to be a bitch but he actually succeeded, whereas Eddie’s death was some pointless circle jerk toxic manhood brouhaha the writers shat out. I hate that for him but you know it’s true. Which is why you want to literally GIVE HIM BILLY’S STORYLINE , along with all of the sympathy and recognition for heroism that you refuse to give to Billy.

[pickledpascal]

Killer Queen

Chapter One: Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy

Warnings: Slurs, blood and gore, violence, soldier boy is like barely in this because it's the first chappie and i wanted to flesh out amber more as a character

Word Count: 3.1k

Killer Queen Masterlist

Next Chapter |

It was peacetime. Or, at least, that's what most people thought it was. Supe's collateral damage was at an all-time low, partly due to the Department of Superhuman Affairs and Congresswoman Nueman and Hughie. 

Amber could not believe Hughie was working with the government and was technically Butcher's boss now. She had known the Boys for a while, helping them out on a few missions because she had a personal vendetta against Vought. Nothing too horrible, she was just naturally an anti-capitalist because of her parents. Vought had way too much power for any one company to hold. 

Especially since they had Homelander. Whoever came up with that name? Amber thought it was a bit funny. Homelander. She had a feeling he'd crumble if they'd ever met but he didn't get outside much.

There was a knock at her front door. Amber glanced up from her TV and set the remote down, answering it. "Well, hello." She leaned against the door frame.

None other than Billy Butcher stood in front of her. "Hello to you too, love." He hadn't changed in the time they hadn't seen each other. Still had that shit-eating grin on his face.

"Need something?" Amber left Butcher at the open doorway and sat back on her couch.

Butcher stepped inside, closing the door behind him. "Where's the kid?" He glanced around the house, seeing no sign of Ryan. 

Amber and her roommate, Eden, were more than fit to take care of Ryan. Eden was a Supe and… well, Butcher didn't know exactly what Amber was but he knew for sure Compound V was not flowing through her veins. 

"Eden took him out." Amber could see Butcher take in a breath to start berating her about the dangers of Ryan being seen in public. "Don't worry, Butch. Eden's careful. They're probably at some random park where she knows there ain't any cameras nearby." She thought for a moment, pursing her lips. "Unless you count game cameras but, y'know."

Butcher shook his head and waved her off. "Yeah, I know. Look, mate, that's not why I'm here anyway." 

"Okay," Amber said carefully, crossing her legs on the couch. "Wanna explain?" 

"There's this weapon. Something that took down Soldier Boy. And me and the Boys have a means of finding it." Butcher explained. His hand twitched slightly at his side. Amber waited for the catch. "But, it's at a Russian base." And there it is. "And while we could get in there ourselves, would be nice having someone watch our backs." 

Amber sighed, brushing a hand through her hair. She could tell he wanted to use it on Homelander. For Ryan. For Becca. His perfect revenge. And, to be honest, Amber couldn't blame him. 

"What do you need me to do?" 

Getting to the Russian base sucked. She had to wear a janitor's jumpsuit and it itched in all the wrong places. She had to adjust the fabric on her crotch a few times. Amber leaned against their truck while Kimiko talked with her.

Your hair looks pretty, Kimiko signed with a smile. Amber's hair was thrown into a ponytail much like hers but, from the last time Kimiko had seen her, some pieces of deep blue framed her face.

Amber smiled softly at Kimiko. "Thank you." She talked as she signed before she heard a crackling of electricity. It must've been Butcher fucking up the power box. 

They all made their way inside the main lab area, Frenchie and Kimiko began looking through files while Marvin, Hughie, and Butcher just looked around for anything that could even resemble a weapon. Amber was more interested in the strange pod that stood in the middle of the room. She tried to take a look inside the small sliver of glass but it was way too frozen over for her to see anything. Her curiosity died. 

As Amber started to look through a desk, the alarm went off. The whole room, and possibly the entire building, was drenched in red light. "Shit." She ducked down as she heard the door get slammed open. 

All or nothing, huh? While the Boys had guns and Kimiko had her powers, their ammo was limited and even Kimiko didn't always like using her powers. Plus, they were outnumbered. As always. 

Amber grabbed a nearby man and punched him so hard that his helmet broke, she broke his arm for good measure. He screamed in pain. She stomped on the floor causing the ground to rumble as a perfectly shaped block all of a sudden lifted to send another man flying through the ceiling. Amber punched in the air, a fire emitting from her fist that caught a Russian on fire. She swept at his legs and stomped on his chest, wiping her boot on the ground afterward.

"Oi, cunts!" Butcher lazered someone behind her. Amber stood back, surprised. When did Butcher become a Supe? Either way, she was glad he got that guy for her.

Once the henchmen were all dead, Marvin and Butcher had a little lover's tiff about Compound V. Amber didn't really pay attention. But they hadn't found any Supe-killing weapon yet. Her eyes shifted back to that pod. She could feel the water pumping into it, freezing something inside. At first, she didn't really care but if it was what they were looking for….

"Woah, we don't know what's in that." Hughie reasoned as Amber stepped closer. 

Amber looked at him sharply, "Do you want to come up empty-handed?" Hughie didn't have a response to that. "Didn't think so." She held out her hands in front of the pod, feeling for any way she could open it without completely breaking it.

"I know, she's hot when she's angry." Frenchie whispered behind her, likely because Kimiko said something.

When Amber found no proper way to open it, she put her fingers in the edges of the door and completely pulled it off its hinges. She threw it to the side and stepped back. There was a hiss of steam, too great for her to even see through but it went away over time. Revealing a face. Who was very much alive.

"Soldier Boy." Butcher whispered beside her. He was shocked but it didn't show on his face. It showed on Marvin's face. 

Amber had heard of Soldier Boy before. Of course she had. But, like everyone else, she assumed he died in the '80s. Due to saving our country from nuclear holocaust? She wasn't so sure. But there he was, in the middle of a Russian lab very much alive.

Soldier Boy stumbled out of the chamber, breaking free from whatever bound him to it in the first place. Firstly, Amber noticed his large beard and then that he was completely naked. She looked away, covering her mouth with disgust. Until she noticed rubble was gravitating towards Soldier Boy. And his chest was starting to glow. 

Amber knew she'd be able to withstand whatever blast he made but what about the others? She opted to guard Marvin while Kimiko dove to protect Frenchie. Except Soldier Boy hit her right through a wall, causing a large piece of metal to wedge itself in Kimiko's leg. And she wasn't healing. 

Frenchie ran over to her, Soldier Boy was long forgotten. Who the fuck cared when the love of his life was in danger? Blood was seeping out of her and Kimiko had a hard time staying awake. They were able to get her into the truck, Marvin flashed a light in her eyes to try and keep her eyes open. 

"Hey, you have water right?" Amber asked Butcher, slapping his shoulder as he drove to the nearest safe house they had. 

Butcher nodded, throwing a water bottle in the back. She caught it with ease and broke the seal.

Amber waved her hand and the water flowed out and onto Kimiko's wound. "Frenchie, I'm gonna say three, two, one and I want you to take that out of her, okay?" Frenchie was frantic and Amber couldn't help but feel for him. He nodded, tears drying on his face as he gripped the metal piping. "Three. Two. One."

Frenchie ripped it out and Kimiko's head lulled as Amber got to work healing her as best as possible. She wasn't the best at water-healing but she'd been working on it. 

At the safe house, Frenchie set Kimiko in her own makeshift hospital room with gauze around her thigh. Amber and Marvin sat in the garage, watching some tapes they took from the lab. Tapes of Soldier Boy getting AK-47 rounds down his throat, scalpels to the eye, and all kinds of other shitty stuff. 

Amber pursed her lips. They had done some sort of nuclear testing on an already very powerful Supe. That wasn't good. Well, maybe it was for Butcher. Kimiko was normal now. As normal as she could be. 

"Did you really think this was a good idea?" Aang had a hand on his forehead. 

When did Amber slip into the Spirit Realm? She didn't do it intentionally. But, then of course, there were times Aang or Roku wanted to tell her how disappointed they were in her so they'd drag her into it.

Amber glanced around, her world was paused as Aang's spirit stood in front of her. "Soldier Boy is gonna be our weapon. We just gotta find him." She crossed her arms, staring back at Aang. 

When she was younger, she revered Aang. Avatars weren't taught in schools anymore and there were barely any relics of the time. Benders of any kind were thought to be killed off or simply non-existent anymore. Supes kind of replaced them. Until Amber came along and she had visions of a land that did not look like the one she was brought up in. She was young when she first met Aang, he was similar to a father figure and guided her through the stages of life and taught her how to be strong. 

Except Amber was naturally strong already. As far as she knew, her physical strength exceeded any other Avatar before her. She wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was the Avatar running through her that knew she'd have to be stronger if she was going to exist in a world overrun by Vought. 

"He doesn't seem stable. You need to keep him under control." Aang advised, careful not to make his tone too pointed, or else Amber would happily make her way back into her body. 

"She's not an idiot, Aang." Korra chimed in. As Amber grew older, she realized she had a lot more in common with Korra than Aang. 

He let out a sharp breath. "She's still young. And has a lot to learn." 

Amber was twenty-five, a grown adult with a house. And while Aang was right to an extent, Amber had been fighting for her life nearly every day since she was born. It was hard to keep her bending hidden from Vought but she was careful and so were her parents. Real peace was never in the cards for her. 

Letting out a breath, Aang and Korra disappeared and she was back in real life. She opened her eyes with a hand on her shoulder. Marvin. "You alright? Your tattoos were doing that glowy thing again." 

Amber gave Marvin a polite smile and nodded, rubbing her hand up her arm where a few tattoos were. "I'm good. Had a little convo with my ancestors. Y'know, the usual." She stood up and went to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

She wanted to scream. Amber leaned over the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. Aang had saved the world at twelve. Korra had saved the world multiple times over a year or two and what had Amber done? Nothing. She killed a few Supes, a lot more non-supes, and nothing life-changing happened because of it. She was the Avatar. The savior of the people. And what saving had she done? Kimiko was struggling to stay alive, her parents were dead, and everyone Amber had as a mentor nearly died as well. And they weren't saved by her hands.

Amber took in a shaky breath as she stared at herself. Her emotions were becoming too much. Her eyes started to glow blue. No. She shook her head and took a deep breath. Eden. She willed herself to think about that instead. Eden was still alive. Her only friend that wasn't connected to the Boys. Or, the only friend she had made outside the Boys. Eden had a thing going on with Hughie. And Starlight. Amber didn't question it. 

"Is she gonna have a meltdown?" Hughie asked in a whisper.

Butcher glared at him. "Shut the fuck up." He had a bit of a soft spot for Amber. They both had people they loved taken away from them, not to mention they felt the overwhelming need to do anything it took to get revenge on whoever took it away from them. 

Back in New York, a bunch of shit went sideways. Soldier Boy went nuclear in front of some random building but Marvin made the connection he was likely going to the Legend. 

—--- 

"Do you think this is even gonna work?" Amber crossed her arms. Butcher had just drugged Marvin and set him as gently as possible on the ground. 

Butcher cocked an eyebrow at her. "Doubting me now, love?" He asked with a small laugh. 

Amber heard footsteps on gravel, causing her to look in the direction they came from. Sure enough, Soldier Boy rounded the corner of a beat-up car in his suit. He'd trimmed his beard and hair. He looked a lot better than he did at the Russian base. Amber narrowed his eyes at him, ready to fight in case that's what he wanted.

"You two… you're from the lab." Soldier Boy's eyes studied the two of them. They stayed a little longer than necessary on Amber. She had a feeling as to why but he didn't voice it so neither would she. "Why are you here?"

Amber could ask the same question but she already knew the answer. "We want to come to an agreement. Of sorts." Butcher smiled wickedly. "You can call this…" He waved to the trailer behind him. "A gesture of good faith." 

Soldier Boy narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. They were going to let him kill the Crimson Countess. He stepped closer, making his way inside and they made no move to stop him. But Avery could hear the conversation from outside. 

It was hard not to feel a little bit of sympathy for the man. The Crimson Countess called him Ben. He was captured, experimented on, shot full of nearly any chemical they had in the compound all because of her. But Amber also felt for her as well. Soldier Boy got all the glory and she assumed he had the ego as high as a mountain, knowing him to some extent would be hell. It sucked that Amber was going to be in that hell.

And then the trailer blew up. She thought she was gonna see it coming. She didn't. Amber was flown a good ten feet away and landed on her stomach. "Fuck me…" She groaned as she rolled onto her back. 

Hughie and Annie came running, only to see Amber on the ground and Butcher carrying Marvin. "What happened? Is he hurt?" Annie's eyes were wide at the sight.

"No need to worry about him. Just four or five milligrams of Rohypnol." Butcher shrugged.

Annie's eyes started to glow. "You fucking roofied him?" 

The trailer behind them was in shambles, smoke everywhere but Amber could hear someone coming out from the rubble. Soldier Boy with not even a scratch or hair out of place. Annie's eyes shifted to him, prepared to fight.

Hughie stepped in front of her while Amber did the same. She let them have whatever talk they were gonna have, glancing back at Soldier Boy. He didn't want to fight them. The Countess was the only thing he came for. Amber narrowed his eyes at him. 

She'd heard stories about him from the Legend seeing as he was the only one she knew that had ever met Soldier Boy before. Amber knew that whatever beta Compound V they gave him made him stop aging past forty, that he was a grade A Playboy, and was involved in quite a few cover-ups over the years. Whatever Soldier Boy was pumped full of in those early days of Vought, Amber thought Homelander needed it. She counted quite a few wrinkles on his face that Soldier Boy didn't have. 

Yeah, Amber had to admit the guy was attractive but she'd never say that to his face. While Soldier Boy seemed a little… emotionally stunted at the moment, she had a feeling that'd change and he'd go back to his ways the moment they got out of there. 

And she was right.

Amber nearly had to throw up while Butcher and Hughie tried talking to him. The man had only a robe on and was in the middle of trying to fuck someone. He hadn't even bothered to lock the door. 

"I think it would be a good idea if you stayed with Amber." Butcher suggested. 

Amber had checked out for most of the conversation until that. "Wait, the fuck?" She shook her head. "Butch, I'm not taking care of…" She waved in the general direction of Soldier Boy, still not wanting to look at him. "That." 

Ben wrapped his silk robe around his body and cocked an eyebrow at her. "What are you? Some kind of fag?" He stood from the bed, tilting his head. Hughie's eyes widened while Butcher just looked amused. "You're tall enough to be a tranny so I wouldn't be surprised." 

"Yeah? And I bet you'd just love having my cock in your mouth to shut you up." Amber countered with a glare, finally looking Soldier Boy in the eyes. Butcher let out a loud laugh, turning away from the two of them.

He had nothing to stay in response, staring at her with hard eyes. "You're a feisty one, I'll give you that." Ben tilted his head slightly. 

Butcher turned back and shook his head, motioning with his hand. "Whatever the fuck this is, you're gonna have to get along." He faced Amber, "I don't like it as much as you do, love, but we both know you're the safest person he," Butcher jutted his head in the direction of Soldier Boy. "Can be with." 

Amber's jaw clenched, looking from Butcher to Ben. She had a feeling Eden wouldn't like him living with them but, hopefully, it wouldn't be for too long. "Fine." She stepped closer to Ben, fists at her sides. "You get out of line, you're fucked." 

"I plan on it." Ben smirked.

----

taglist open here !!

[nortism]

doctor who liveblog pt 39

s7 ep13 nightmare in silver

- classic heads poking out the door one by one

- i’ve not seen classic who but that guy looks the amalgamation of all their doctors

- always the fucking cybermen

- hello warwick davis

- obviously they’re gonna wander off

- uh oh cyberman

- uh oh cyberbugs

- uh oh the cyberman got the little kid

- no blowing up this planet is good advice tbh

- uh oh half cybermen.

- uh oh he got cybered

- they really need a new companion handbook so clara can get how serious cybermen are

- oh that is quite a few cybermen

- oh no the most thing didn’t work

- porridge is the emperor?!

- i think i would have taken him on up on the marriage proposal

s7 ep14 the name of the doctor

- ayyy gallifrey

- oh the first doctor hello

- omg all the classic doctors

- impossible girl lets go

- MADAME VASTRA!!

- RIVER!! i’ve been wondering where she got to

- trenzalore sounds like an anti depressant

- JENNY?!!?!::)/£ NOOOOOO

- oh i don’t like these guys

- what do u mean an ex, u guys just got married??

- uh oh he’s crying, this is unsettling

- oh shit we’re going to the doctor’s grave

- the tardis always the most sensible person around

- oh giant tardis

- hello river

- RIVER’S GRAVE?!

- yay jenny

- oh this fucking guy again

- this is not good

- JENNY NOOOO

- strax omg

- omg clara no

- oh she said the line

- goodbye river

- ohhh the leaf

- this whole name business feels very much like a trans allegory

- hello john hurt as the doctor

mini episode - the night of the doctor

- i’ve been told there’s other mini episodes but this is the one that’s on iplayer

- not sure i got that but crazy stuff

the day of the doctor

- ooh the old intro

- she’s a teacher now??

- WITH BILLIE PIPER???

- also hello david tennant or whatever

- hello billie piper??

- is this meant to be rose?!

- wait she’s the conscience??

- ohhhhhh

- i forgot he married elizabeth i

- oh hello painted david tennant

- david what has happen to your hair?!?

- this is so silly

- uh oh zygons

- jack harkness mention!!

- NO CLARA!!

- yes then clara !!

- that’s a lot of dead children

- ofc the door was unlocked

- ALLLL THIRTEENNNNNN

- oh this is hype as hell

- ohhh the war doctor turning into nine

- i think i supposed to know who the curator is but i don’t

- that was a crazy crossover, i loved it. i just wish eccelston didn’t hate being the doctor bc i would have liked it if all three of them showed up

the time of the doctor

- oh yes fake dating subplot

- ohhh gallifrey

- oh great the silence

- the tardis should work by remote

- oh great the wall crack

- shitttt trenzalore

- oh he pulled a the parting of ways on clara

- how has he aged??

- oh he’s only got a finite number of lives, like a cat

- not again, poor clara

- oh he’s old old

- oh bonus regeneration power

- that’s not peter capaldi??

- oh he’s still cooking

- aww amelia

- AMY 😭😭

- oh the bow tie

- PETER CAPALDI!! i hope he treats clara better bc my girl has been through the wars

- tragic we didn’t get to see him looking awkward in the bow tie, that’s always my favourite part of each regeneration

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Having a #1 Song doesn't mean SHIT anymore! It doesn't mean the song is a hit.

Let's be so serious rn. Nobody knows any of her damn fault track that keep charting. I asked my mom to name one song of hers and she could name "Shake it off."

Smooth Criminal went #7 in the US.

Remember the Time went #3 in the US.

Heal the World went #27 in the US.

They don't care about us #30 in the US. But it still went viral on tiktok. A song that is almost 30 years old!!

Thriller the song also never went to number one, but ask people to name one Halloween song they gonna name that song.

And what is more impressive, having 1M EAS the first day or still selling 1M EAS 15 years after your passed and more than 20 years after you dropped an album. Longevity is quality. 1M first day sales she's gonna sell that much for years. Hell, she be lucky if she even sold 50k in a year in 30 years.

5 music videos of his that are made in the 80's and 90's are about to have 1 billion views this year.

Billie Jean still gets 1M daily streams on Spotify.

I'm sorry if you aren't an Mjfan and I bring him up but he's the best example I can give you also because Swifties keep comparing her to him.

If people don't like the song they won't keep listening to it. And if Taylors song just stay in her fanbase and they just massstream her shit. Nobody is gonna know this song in 20 years.

Because what is the last hit Taylor Swift had that was known to the general public? Anti Hero maybe? Cruel Summer?

And something that is also funny is that, Remember when her drunk self got on stage and snatched the grammy from Celine Dion and didn't even look at her.

And people were pissed and her team was quick on working getting a picture with her to mend the damage.

Celine Dion has 5 Grammys and Taylor Swift has 14.

But they knew that Celine Dion got more respect from the GP then Taylor will ever have. And that is something you cannot buy. And they know if someone wins out of pure talent or just because of favourism. And let's be real. Most people know these award shows are rigged and they don't care about it.

Like when RollingStone came out with that fuck ass best singers list that put Taylor at #102 and excluded Celine Dion. People were mad that Celine was included but Taylor was.

Or just recently they also called her the better Adele. Nobody from the GP was like oh yeah that is true.

I mean they can try to name her the Queen of Pop in one of the award shows alà Michael Jackson style, but it's not gonna work with her. When he got that name people actually agreed and they still do. Outside Taylors cult nobody will agree with that.

Taylor's Team is aggressive with the Marketing and pushing these numbers onto us because they know outside of it she has nothing to offer. Her talent isn't marketable. Her singing and dancing isn't that impressive. The most marketable things about her career are her wealth and business success. Have they ever talked about her performance while she is on tour. What is so impressive what she does on stage? No they just keep talking about the money she makes.

No I completely get why MJ is a relevant comparison here. Swifties do keep comparing TS to him and for that alone they need to collectively get their asses beat. But you used good examples and I just want to applaud you for that

& you’re right, I can’t name a single vault track. Every time I’m exposed to her its against my will through my recommended (and its usually so out of place too because i watch really weird video essays).

Charts truly don’t reflect cultural impact because Drunk in Love by Beyoncé never went #1 and neither did Toxic by Britney Spears but both are super well known. Anti Hero is probably the last single to go #1 but I genuinely felt harassed by that song 😭 its sooooooooo bad

Yes! The vocal trinity—Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, and Whitney Houston—have done SO MUCH for music and all have less than half of Taylor Swift’s amount of Grammys. Celine and Mariah each have 5 and Whitney has 6.

I didn’t watch the Grammys this year (forgot to) but I heard about the Celine Dion incident I was SHOCKED because the audacity of this woman! Her entitlement shows in everything she does and she’s really starting to believe her commercial success makes her a better artist.

THE ROLLING STONE LIST WAS BULLSHIT. THEY DIDN’T INCLUDE JENNIFER HUDSON EITHER! Their definition of a “singer” was soooooooo bullshit too like that magazine’s merit has gone down so much in the past 20 years it should be regarded with way less status and credibility. And who tf called TS better than ADELE?

You’re right, her moniker will be chosen by the general public (probably from a viral tweet/tiktok/etc).

And she needs aggressive marketing because she really is a below average musician in all respects! She has her songwriting but she should’ve just been a hit songwriter (like Estelle Dean) not a singer. What makes her marketable is very “ordinary” image—which makes her relatable to “every girl, like me and you” 🙄 her soft voice really creates an intimate atmosphere especially with her vulnerable (but superficial) lyrics. She has to be friends with her fans for her success to work. Because there is no way you can justify her being regarded as a “god” the way people do with Beyoncé and MJ otherwise.

🎯 with the Eras Tour coverage. No one ever references or cites a particular jaw dropping vocal performance or dance number. It’s always the amount of wealth she’s generating.