#bitability

[goobtacular]

I'm rating Marvel movies based on how biteable they are. I've done my best to estimate equivalent foods for each example for those who sadly do not feel the urge to bite these fine fellows.

Iron Man 1 9/10: This is an incredibly biteable movie. I want to bite the movie, I want to bite the characters, and I want to bite the suits. There are few Marvel movies that compare to the breadth of bitability this film provides. I would bite, individually, every single thing that appears on screen, admittedly some on principle alone. This era of Marvel is rife with competition, yet it comes out on top.

Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, 10/10: Stupendously biteable. He's at his most biteable during captivity but always looks ready to nibble. He's your childhood. He's homemade cookies after school. Bitability index is boosted because of nostalgia, but compensating for bias is still at least an 8/10

James Rhodes 8/10: A crispy man if there ever was one. There is minimal variation in his bitability index throughout the film. This iteration of Rhodes gives off chip vibes.

Mark 1 Suit 7/10: A satisfying crunch. The Mark 1 is a carrot, crunchy and tasty, with a bit of juice. In terms of solid, dependable biting experiences, there are few better than the Mark 1.

Harold "Happy" Hogan 6/10: There's something off about Happy. He's a crisp, refreshing apple, but he gets stuck between your teeth, and you accidentally bite one of the seeds. Actual bite feel would likely be high, but taste brings down the score.

Mark 7 Suit 6/10: Gooey chocolate. The actual bite feel is low; it's too flimsy for a good crunch, but it gushes nicely, and taste always boosts the score.

Agent Phil Coulson 5/10: Coulson is not very biteable, in a good way. He brings the feel of the later movies to the early ones, like food that's been washed. The seasonings are gone, but so is the dirt. I feel no urge to bite Coulson, but out of affection, I must.

Obadiah Stane, aka Iron Monger 5/10: Would bite only on principle for much of the movie. During the opening scenes, I almost wouldn't bite, but as the movie progresses, he gets more biteable, peaking inside his suit—the human equivalent of plain bread.

Pepper Pots 2/10: Gets the award for least biteable character. She seems almost stale, like old pita bread that's been left out for too long. Or perhaps a wet marshmallow. This changes in later films.

[hunnam]

[marronje]

All wrapped up like a present

Reference below the cut

[affixjoy]

[bookmothic-dyke]

I need to start using my lotion and perfume I own. That way I’m softer to touch and smell nicer.

For totally hetero and non lesbian attracting reasons.

[potatomoonjuice]

Take a bite

[tea-cat-arts]

The tbhx brainrot is real so here's mostly a Nice study (cuz he's been rotating in my brain like a Rotisserie chicken)

[tekitothemagpie]

[femmefruit]

wanna have a sleepover? 🧡

[itsonlypolite]

posted one of your drawings of cheated in vc and one of my friends ( @samuelamantha ) said this about him so i was compelled by dark forces to draw it. hands you this and then skitters away into the undergrowth

FNRJSKAAJSJWRHRJWJUW LOVE THAT - be careful, Cheated can be an eye for an eye person - he's going to bite back!!

[starry-nights-17]

Was thinking the other about how utterly delicious Ian looked in nothing but that orange towel in s11. To me it's insane how Mickey was more interested in his gun, than in his super hot beefy husband 🤔 So I wrote this little short.....(smut ahead).....

----

"What are you doing?"

Mickey looked up from the bed; where he had been cleaning his gun, drawn by Ian's irritated voice. He was prepared for an argument, recognising that resigned but nagging tone, that he had long grown used to. But he was caught off guard. Mickey's mouth itched to blurt out some snappy and witty retort but instead it was salivating. His husband stood there, pale skin still wet from his shower, with only a towel covering him from the waist down.

Mickey was aware that Ian had secretly become a little self-conscious lately due to the extra pounds he was carrying. The couple had become lazy and comfortable post marriage, spending far too much time eating take-out on the couch. And the only form of exercise they engaged in was enthusiastic regular sex, not that Mickey was complaining.

"Asked you a question, Mick," Ian repeated, with a long sigh, as he ran his fingers through his damp hair.

Mickey set the gun aside and smirked, biting his lip in a way he knew Ian couldnt resist, as he shuffled forward on his knees.

"Maybe I don't feel like talking right now".

Ian's mouth opened but quickly closed again, when Mickey yanked the towel away. Catching Ian's eye he grinned, as he trailed his fingers down his sides and then across his stomach. To him it was as sexy as ever, with that added roundness, extra flesh that he could grab onto or sink his teeth into.

His hands drifted around the back, grasping Ian's cheeks and pulling a low gasp from his lips.

"Mick," Ian murmured; his green eyes never leaving his face, "You trying to distract me with sex again to avoid an argument?"

Mickey chuckled darkly, as he licked a long stripe up his stomach, towards his chest, before tugging one of his nipples into his mouth. He took it between his teeth, nipping it gently, relishing the broken moan that Ian let out.

He continued to nip at his skin; trailing back down until he found that beautiful stomach again, playfully biting at his sides and front, before alternating with licks and kisses.

"Fuck, this is so sexy," he whispered, peering up at Ian who watched him intently, his green eyes wide and dark with lust.

"Love you with a bit of meat on your bones Gallagher," he teased, as he massaged his cheeks and pulled him in closer, "Got more to hold onto".

He smirked up at him before greedily swallowing him down, Ian's throbbing cock hitting the back of his throat. Ian bucked and hissed as Mickey sucked him hard and deep, moaning around him, totally lost in his sexy as fuck husband.

Truth was, Mickey was gone on him since they were kids and had always considered him the hottest guy alive. Even when he was a skinny lost kid, even when he was manic or high or dancing for other men. It wasn't just his body that had reeled him in, Mickey knew that what they had ran much deeper than that.

But now, fuck, he had never been so attracted to him, so easily turned on, so aroused at the mere sight of him. The goofy annoying kid he fell for had grown into a strong, powerful man. He hadn't just grown up but had grown out, into those broad shoulders and firm muscular back, with those meaty thighs and juicy abs.

Mickey groaned as another favourite body part of Ian's got to work. His big hands gripped his hair, forcing him down, as he thrust carefully; in and out. His husband grunted and cursed, rapidly starting to unravel.

Mickey's nails dug into his fleshy cheeks, swallowing everything he could until Ian gasped and held himself inside.

"Oh fuck baby," he groaned as he started to pulse, "Mick...."

Mickey's eyes fluttered closed and he released a muffled moan, as Ian coated his throat in warmth. A moment later, Ian pulled out but caressed his cheeks, hazily staring down at him. Mickey grinned and nipped at his stomach teasingly, squeezing his sides, before dragging his messy mouth back up.

Ian continued to pant, his chest rising and falling harshly before he shoved Mickey backwards onto the bed. His lips crashed against his, taking his breath away as they kissed possessively and eagerly.

"Fuck, you're a menace," Ian whispered against his neck, which he lavished with attention.

Mickey grinned lazily and lay back, happy to let Ian take control and return the favour. Feeling rather smug that this man was his, his husband, his partner, his everything.

"You know, when we're done here, we're having that discussion," Ian smirked, as his skilled mouth made its way south.

"Yeah yeah...less talking, more sucking tough guy".

[angeart]

a little bit of grian, starting wars—

[verysmallcyborg]

happy suave butch autumn

[fire-lizard-ro]

Yk what? No- Just because of that Wreck gets a lineless piece and I’m drawing Yunie with Blythe next bc no way I read that with mine own two eyes had to move my bang to make sure I saw it right-

I can and will draw things to spite people expeDITIOUSly.

Anyways auuuuuu Yunie is very pretty and I love her. 🥰

This is a wip will work on it tomorrey-

Character belongs to @wreckowafer

[gaywarcriminals]

Yue Qingyuan was designed in a lab to activate the prey drive

[princehendir]

(reblog for sample size etc)