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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 9 months

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Clownfall: Endgame - Hello December

I am late writing and posting this, because it's nearly the end of term and I am mega busy (I have leave in two days and I am counting the hours...) BUT some stuff happened last week so let's dig in!

Also quick note before we do: I would like to politely request that you stop tagging this with "England" or "English politics". This is about British politics, not just England, and I am not English. Please do not erase me it takes SO LONG to write these thank you all and goodnight anyway ON WITH THE SHOW

Saturday, 25 November

12.01am

We begin our tale with Oliver Wright of the Times, who reports that … no hang on, wait, I've fucked it, okay. To understand this story, you first need to understand Simon Case.

Simon Case is a civil servant, and current Cabinet Secretary and head of UK Civil Service

He was the highest ranking public official implicated in the Partygate scandal, though he didn’t resign nor was he fined

In the Telegraph’s published WhatsApp messages from Partygate in which Tories all chatted to each other (seriously HOW do those keep getting leaked), Case made fun of holidaymakers stuck in hotel rooms by Covid regulations

In the same messages he also described some opposition to Covid restrictions as “pure Conservative ideology”, which is. An Own Goal

He also described BlowJo as a “nationally distrusted figure” whose isolation rules the public were unlikely to follow, which is true but also the Quiet Part

This information is from Wikipedia, which I’m openly admitting here, so my esteemed colleague hbomberguy can stand down.

Why am I mentioning him! Well. Case was supposed to give evidence to the Covid inquiry in October this year, but didn’t because of medical leave (ironically). In November, he still wasn’t back (should have isolated better, eh, Si), and the inquiry was given private medical information relating to Case (presumably evidence that he’s not just faking it so he doesn't have to be shouted at by angry judges and MPs and that).

So! On Saturday the 25th, eighteen and a half hours before Beep the Meep’s spectacular TV debut, Oliver Wright of the Times reports that Simon Case – uh, before his medical leave - advised Prime Minister Rishi Sunak that he should authorise pre-election talks between the civil service and Labour. Sunak - I suspect obviously - ignored this suggestion, in case it signalled that an election is now imminent.

According to Wright, it’s now questionable whether Case will ever return to his role.

Shame.

Monday, 27 November

2.44pm

House of Commons time! Let's see what our elected representatives are up to.

Tory MP Jill Mortimer says international treaties written 70 years ago "are not fit for purpose" to tackle illegal immigration, so we need to return to the "Deport the browns to Rwanda" plan. Ugh.

2.50pm

The following was reported by Matt Dathan of the Times, so CALL OFF YOUR DOGS hbomberguy.

James Cleverly – the newest Home Secretary, chappie who described another MPs constituency as a shithole in the House of Commons in his second week on the job – says the Rwanda policy isn’t the “be all and end all”.

Robert Jenrick – the Minister of State for Immigration – says the policy is an "extremely important component" of the government's small boats policy.

So! James Cleverly and Robert Jenrick disagree on this matter! Exciting! Hey, Tumblrs, just for fun...

Let’s remember those two names.

2.58pm

Robert Jenrick says boat crossings have been reduced by more than a third in the last year, but that numbers are still unacceptably high.

FUN SELF-STUDY ACTIVITY: Take a moment to form an opinion of Robert Jenrick! It’ll be worth it.

Here is some information to get you started: Jenrick this year ordered some lovely murals of cartoon characters (Mickey Mouse, Tom and Jerry, etc) to be painted over at a children’s asylum centre in Kent. His explicit reason is because he thought they were "too welcoming" for lone refugee children arriving in the UK, and such children should not feel welcome here.

Have you formed your opinion yet? Then I'll continue.

8.13pm

Rishi Sunak cancels a meeting with the Greek Prime Minister in a row over the Elgin Marbles.

Uh, there's a lot going on here - this is about the stolen marble frescoes that should be in the Parthenon in Athens, that gross British thief Lord Elgin stole decades ago and plonked into the British Museum. Greece has been asking for them back ever since, but a small handful of old white men who are in charge of the British Museum don't want to give them back and keep stating that Greece wouldn't look after them properly, which is a hell of a claim given that Elgin literally broke one when he nicked them, and also, he fucking stole them. Anyway, it turns out to the surprise of no one that Sunak also doesn't think we should give them back, and so when the matter was raised in an Anglo-Greek meeting recently Sunak literally walked out of it, even though the meeting was actually about something else.

So HERE HE IS refusing to do any diplomacy with Greece now i.e. his actual fucking job.

This is a big deal for the immigration-obsessed though! According to a Labour source, Greece is an essential ally for any agreement on illegal migration.

And even the Prime Minister’s supporters think he’s got this one wrong.

Wednesday, 29 November

Prime Minister’s Questions!

This is the (televised) point in the week where the PM has to appear in the Commons and be grilled by anyone who wants to put the boot in about anything at all. Keir Starmer decides today is the day to do some actual opposition, pushes Sunak on several fronts, and pretty much everyone reckons this is Starmer’s best ever performance at PMQs. People especially enjoy Starmer calling Rishi the “man with the reverse Midas touch”.

This is not, strictly speaking, actually funny. But it's political humour, which is like office humour. It doesn't actually have to be.

12.22pm

A former cabinet member tells the press that the Greek government are furious at Sunak’s snub. Uh oh!

Thursday, 30 November

Disgraced former Secretary of State for Health and all round human 1950s meat blancmange Matt Hancock talks to the Covid inquiry today. Specifically, to explain why he, the then-Secretary of State for Health, led the government so badly in the pandemic that we developed the second highest death rate in the world. To hear him tell it, he was an underdog hero doing his best to fight a toxic culture at Whitehall to get the pandemic handled responsibly.

The only problem with this is that it is contradicted by everyone else’s accounts.

He is called a “proven liar” who was “unfit for the job” by proven liar and unfit for his job Dominic Cummings. Former civil servant Helen MacNamara says Hancock displayed “nuclear levels” of overconfidence and said lots of things that later turned out to be untrue. Sadly for HandCock, he said these things to cameras that were recording him onto the telly, and so we do actually know.

Monday, 4 December

Keir Starmer talked about the economy today. He won’t rule out cutting public services, and it looks like he’s trying to tell disenfranchised Tory voters to jump ship to Labour.

Hope it’s a bluff! Very depressing if he’s serious. This is nowhere near as much fun as Tories being humiliated.

21.47pm

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!

(This is from the Mirror, you can’t destory me on your YouTube.)

Labour MP Diana Johnson proposes an amendment to the Victims and Prisoners Bill to compensate thousands of patients infected with HIV and hepatitis C through contaminated blood products in the 70s and 80s, to the tune of billions of pounds.

And it WON! Narrowly – 246 votes to 242. A huge deal, because that includes 23 Tory backbenchers. That is very bad for Rishi Sunak. He he he.

Tory MP Edward Argar had tried to sort this in adance, by saying the government would provide their own similar amendment to the bill. Basically, he realised this was a controversial bill for the party, and wanted to present a version that could be a Tory victory rather than a Labour victory and Tory humiliation.

Didn’t work.

And neither did a THREE LINE WHIP for Tory MPs to vote against the Labour plan?!?? YES KIDS YOU READ THAT RIGHT Sunak didn't want people infected with HIV and hepatitis C through contaminated blood products in the 70s and 80s to receive compensation in case it made him look bad, so he imposed a three line whip to force Tories to vote against it.

And 23 of them rebelled.

And now he looks even worse.

Lol.

Tuesday, 5 December

Have you done your homework, Tumblrs? Have you remembered those names? Have you formed an opinion?

7.38am

Home Office minister and children's cartoon hater Robert Jenrick is interviewed on Sky News. It’s ugly stuff. He refers to small boats “[breaking] in” to the UK. He insists asylum seekers WILL start being deported to Rwanda before the next General Election. And generally does big talk about cutting immigration.

What a hero.

1.27pm

James Cleverly is in Rwandan capital Kigali, as the UK signs a new treaty designed to help score the Supreme Court’s approval for the Rwanda plan.

1.40pm

So!

Cleverly’s doing pretty much what he said he’d do. He’s trying to legislate to make the Rwanda plan safer, rather than try to disapply human rights treaties. This, of course, is the Sensible Plan, if your plan is still to get people killed, but you want it to actually succeed.

But former Home Secretary Cruella Braverman is driving a load of Tories to push to disapply human rights obligations – and she’s joined in this by Robert Jenrick!!!!

That’s RIGHT! Hope you remembered his name, because now he’s a VILLAIN! Or, well, more of one, and in a more immediate way. After disagreeing with Cleverly in the commons on 27 November, he’s joined Team Suella. Tonight he’ll be part of a meeting between three different right-wing groupings...

1.46pm

The new treaty guarantees that, if these plans go ahead, asylum seekers won’t be returned to countries where their lives or freedom are threatened, and creates a requirement for an independent monitoring committee.

This treaty would be great if we lived in a world where the Supreme Court trusted the Rwandan government to honour treaty obligations. But we live in the world where NOT having this trust was part of the reason the Supreme Court ruled the plans unlawful.

Even if this wasn’t the case, we still need new legislation, and that’ll be way more controversial than this new treaty. The legislation was said to be ready by Thursday, which is a very short turnaround that only a lunatic would believe, but in a SHOCK DISAPPOINTING U-TURN the government now refuses to commit to this.

In any case...

This is causing cracks in the Tory party.

10.33pm

The Parliament's Christmas tree lights are turned on!

It goes as well as anything else in Parliament:

youtube

A visual representation of the Tory Party schism.

Wednesday, 6 December

8.21am

Boris Johnson arrives at the covid inquiry. He will be questioned for two days.

He he he

10.26am

Johnson is asked why around 5,000 WhatsApp messages were lost on his phone from January to June 2020.

Steffan made this brilliant meme. Please do not grass me up to hbomberman.

11.33am

It’s clear by now that Johnson wasn’t alert to the danger of covid by February 2020. Johnson says it wasn’t declared a pandemic by WTO yet, and he wasn’t asked about it in PMQs. Gosh! What a good point, maybe!

Until the KC points out a troubling fact: “You were the Prime Minister.”

Ah. Yes. PMQs are irrelevant, you see – the Prime Minister is allowed information that the opposition aren’t.

And, indeed, he probably would have had, if he'd actually attended the five Cobra meetings about it that would have briefed him on it just as the virus was being discovered.

12.49pm

2.24pm

I’m skipping most of this stuff, since it’s normal lies and non-specific apologies from BJ.

But this one’s interesting. Matt HandCock claimed he told Johnson on 13 March to call a lockdown. There’s no written evidence of this happening. Johnson outright contradicts it.

Lol

5.43pm

Cruella Braverman rejects Sunak’s Rwanda bill. It fails the five tests she claimed his bill would need to pass.

These are tests she made up and published in a newspaper, I should stress, like they don't exist and she is not an authority. This is a bit like if I marched into your house, dear reader, and went "You are not allowed to celebrate the holidays this year because I personally said you have to pass my tests first and you haven't", and I'm pretty sure if I tried that you would drop me in a bin and laugh at me.

But, she has many supporters on the Tory right...

5.48pm

The Sun’s political correspondent says that if the Lords try to block emergency legislation, some Tory MPs reckon Sunak should call an election, fighting on Rwanda.

I desperately want this. I DESPERATELY want this. They’ll lose that election so badly. SO badly. God, likes charge reblogs cast.

6.53pm

The villain Robert Jenrick … RESIGNS!

Oh no! This is not good news if you’re the Prime Minister.

Fucking fantastic for the rest of us, though

7.26pm

Jenrick publishes his resignation letter on Twitter. It’s two pages long, claiming the PM’s Rwanda plan basically won’t work.

Jenrick’s not wrong about that, but I speak as someone who doesn’t want any version of the Rwanda plan – not the monstrous Sunak one, and certainly not the hypermonstrous Braverman one. Good. Thanks for confirming, Darth Bell-end.

8.31pm

I enjoyed this tweet.

8.52pm

Sunak writes back to Jenrick, claiming the new plan WILL work.

Which is not normally what happens?!? Normally they yell about their current madness in a letter, publish it on Twitter because no one else cares or will agree, and get roundly ignored. But, desperate times! Here, Sunak’s challenge is to try to win over the Tories who don’t believe in his ability to deliver the plan. It’s a big ask.

So what are we left with?

10.37pm

A senior figure on the Tory right is asked whether their side will kill Sunak’s bill.

And they’re not sure! If it’s the only offer on the table, it seems sensible to vote for it.

BUT the right wing of the Tories aren’t famously very sensible. They’ll probably try and add amendments at the very least, but it’s genuinely possible they’ll reject it out of spite, because they are LUNATICS. Or as a political move to weaken Sunak.

And that's what you missed in the Tory Civil War!

(Up to last week)

#politik #clownfall: endgame

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nymph-ette111 · 3 months

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GAMING WITH BEN;

(♡) Authors note; some BEN hcs for you guys :) I haven't written in a bit and my motivation to do so isn't really there so I forced myself to upload something.

୨ৎ

-you can tell by the way I write BEN is... he's an asshole. Sure, you're his partner, he loves you and all but he would NOT let you win any of the games you two play together.

-since your hermit of a boyfriend is a 'game fanatic' you decided it'd be a little nice to spend time together doing something he loves and enjoys. Nothing could go wrong with that, right?

-loud incorrect buzzer.

-he is the embodiment of a sore loser.

-at first he starts off normally, clearly beating your ass if you aren't used to playing video games as often as he does. For him, it took zero effort to win against you.

-but if you were quite an expert gaming wise and he senses that you have a pretty good chance of winning... he's bringing out the hacking.

-he'll do anything but accept defeat; lagging the program, kicking you out mid game, glitching you out of the server... anything.

-if you ever do survive that he'll just cover your device with his grimy hands. Or just put his foot on your face.

-... he's disgusting.

-and if you somehow win (which is pretty unlikely considering the dedication he puts just so you wouldn't) his ego would be BRUISED.

-he'd sulk and pout. Claiming that he 'let you win'.

-alright, whatever you say BEN.

-only way to get the loser from ignoring you for the rest of the week is to give him a kiss on his cheek.

-preferably a blowjo—

#♡⁠˖⁠꒰nymphette writes #divider by pommecita #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #headcanon #x reader #ben drowned creepypasta #ben drowned x reader #ben drowned

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misscherry-26 · 1 year

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OMG WE HAVE THE SAME NAME! LIKE ITS SPELLED THE SAME AS MINE😭😭 Sooooo I was wondering if you could another Johnny L. Story? Nothing to fancy but could you do one where young Johnny and y/n are having trouble with there relationship but ultimately having it sorting out? OK THANK YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY:)

Silly arguments lead to foot massage-Johnny Lawrence

Pairing: Young!Johnny Lawrence x young!reader

Warnings: mentions of blowjob (just the word)

Author's note: Hi! And same name! oh my god! Ahh! 🥰 Hahaha. Thank you for requesting! Even though I don't take requests for Johnny at the moment, yours was sweet I couldn't say no. I decided to not add too much angst about it but instead make it short but also a silly but fluffy situation. I hope you like and enjoy this!

"Oh c´mon baby, I was joking, you know?” Johnny, my boyfriend tries to hug me but I don’t let him.

“Are you serious?” he asks concerned, “I was just joking Y/N…Baby. I only have eyes for you and you know it" but still, I don't answer and instead I turn around, looking at the sea.

We are currently on the beach, far from the party that happens every weekend. Johnny and I always come together to these parties but today I couldn't since I had to work late and so I told him that I will see him there.

Ha!

When I got there, I saw him watching a girl, a beautiful girl from class, and he was agreeing with his friends about how hot she was.

Only has eyes for me? My ass!

"Y/n… c'mon, I'm telling the truth, okay?" He sighs when he sees that I don't have any intention of talking to him. He catches me off guard when he hugs me from behind, moving my hair to plant a sweet kiss on my neck. Those kisses are my weakness, and he knows it.

"That's not going to work, Johnny."

"C'mon… yeah, I said she was hot, okay? I admit it. But she is not my type. I don't like those kinds of girls," he pauses to turn me around so I can look him in the eyes. "You are my only type y/n I want you, and only you. Besides… you give the best blowjo–"

But before he finishes I smack him on the chest.

"Shut up!"

He smirks "I'm serious!"

Johnny takes my face with his hands and kisses me. "But aside from that, you are funny, intelligent, and way more hotter than anyone else. You are real, you don't fake, and I love that."

You can't help but melt at his words, fuck, that's why you love him. Everytime you get mad you solve it.

Johnny sees the smile that it's appearing on your face.

"You owe me a foot massage for what you did. Okay?"

Johnny laughs and nods with his head. "What about a movie night, followed by a pizza and a sleepover at my house? Of course the massage will be included. And don't worry, we will have all the house for ourselves"

"Okay, deal" you giggle.

He raises an eyebrow, "what? No kiss to seal the deal?"

You put on your tiptoes, your arms resting behind his head, as you lean in to kiss him."

"Deal sealed".

#johnny lawrence imagine #johnny lawrence fluff #johnny lawrence x reader #johnny lawrence #Johnny lawrence karate kid #karate kid imagine #cobra kai #cobra kai imagine

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syscest · 3 days

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its important to give ur headmates kinds of care no-one else was ever there to give them. like blowjo-

#plural nsft #intrasys

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haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll · 2 months

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Spotify Tracklist below the cut due to length.

0.002 • Nobody Makes Money Anymore • Stephen Chicken • How Many Friends Have You Bought In Your Unsigned Band • 2 be or not to be • I'm In With The Soundcloud • 2 noble kinsmen • Johnny Ramone Joins The Beatles • Mojo Mojo Why Don't You Go And Review This Album Instead Of Another REM Blowjo • Noel Gallagher Is Jealous Of My Studio • My Royalty Statement • YouTube Are Fleecing You • I Wanna Be The New Ed Sheeran • Happy (Un) • Drop That Bridge Like Taylor Swift • The Great Sync Deal In The Sky • Liam Gallagher Is Jealous Of My Clever Turn Of Phrase • Dappy Versus Zombies vs The Pocket Gods • NME NME You're History • Nobody Makes Any Money Anymore • Adele • EMI • Synch • Steve Blacknell's Near Fatal Asthma Attack • Best Of Joe Rogan • Rock N Roll • Modern Music Is Boring Me • Mariah The Pariah • All About The Bass & Not Being Paid A Fair Amount • Neil • We Love Gideon Coe • 0.007 • the bbc will introduce you as long as you're under 25 • this is the end of the music business • Nowhere Left To Play • The Orchard Versus Sony • 6 Music Is The New Radio 1 • youtube are fleecing you outro • we don't need another nero • tory wet dream • Stars On MP3 • Racist Seaside Town They Forgot To Close Down • Starbuckers • Corporation Lax • Grotify • Brexiteers of The World Unite (ironically) • Penny Arcade Jukebox Scam • The Weak Spine Of Mr Cameron • Exit Brexit For Xmas • I Hate Hipsters • Ballad Of The Lonely Fruit Picker • Absent Smelly Stick Your Pay To Play Up Your Bottom • Shazam Kazam It's All A Mystery To Me • Peter Doherty's Quest For A Mythical Albion • Deezer Geezer • Brown Nose Brexit • A&R Pervert Man • Steve Jobs • Why Did I Write This Album With 1000 Songs On Now I have No Social Life • Shoddy Waddy • Best Of Boris Johnson • Pusher • Disinformate the Disinformators • Radio 2 Is Cool • It's The Brits • Lawyer V Liar • blah blah the music industry ceo goes • Folsom Prison Jism • The Forumla To Work Out My Royalties Is More Complicated Than The Superstring Theory Of Everything • Country Chaos • 45 Rip • John Peel's On The Phone • Another Generic Pop Song • Cesspool Karaoke • Bait Oven • Lucy Fux Cowell • Precious Electro Pop Indie Band Change The World • Minceyments • Zx Spectrum Soundtrack • Why Did I Write This Album With 1000 Songs On Now I have No Wife • Alan Mghee and the Pink Raincoat • The Monkees Gave Good Head • Michael Jackson Vs The illumati • The Sound Of The Future AI Bot • Mac Book Ho • Shabby Road • I.will.Iam Shakespeare • Feed Me Seymour • Auto Tune Loon • Reality TV Killed The Video Star • Madame Jo Jo's • Modern Music Is Boring Me • Small Town Musos • Medusa • Pledge • Ex Tractor • Jarvis Said Send Me Your Christmas Album • I'm A D List St Albans' Musician Get ME Out Of Here • Santasucker • Who Knows Who The F*ck Is Number 1? • Joe Meek • Pay To Play • Dodgy London Promoter • He's A Local Music Star • You Can't Shoplift MP3s • 2nd Biggest Band In The Village • Tedious day Job Rescue me me universe • The End Of The Mean Times )LOA) • The End Of The Pocket Gods? • Odd one out (just for the cd remember them?) • Premier • 2016 • 2379 • A Fool On The chill • Ac • Ag • Living On Top Of A Porno Cinema • ahura mazda • Al • White Noise Christmas • Albany • Alexi (not Sanchez) Put The Grunge Into Soccer! • all in all it's just another prick in the wall • All Things Must Pass • all you need is love and money • Always Look On The Norman Whiteside Of Life • Am • And Your Bird Can Sing • ANOTHER BLING FOOTBALLER • Another Blue Plaque • Another clown on the ground rolling around • APOCRYPHA • A&R Talking • Watch Out Lockdown is Coming • As • When BJ Apologies All I Hear Is This • Au • AVATAR • Sue's Redacted Report • Silence (sound of lockdown) with Tinnitus • ballad of blackfriars tavern • ballad of the lonely people again • Banksies dodgy beer • Bard For Life • Bard Rock Cafe • Bardify • Be • Beatles Wives Can't Sing • Beatles On A Tinny Tannoy (Ode to Shay) • Beatles On Spotify • BEST player not have played at a World Cup

Best Tattoo • better part of valour • Better Than The Stones • Beware The IDS of March • Bi • Big Willie Style • Bigger Than Jesus…but Jesus Never Toured (the US) • Bight the Apple That Feeds • billy fury • Billy Preston (was the 5th beatle) • Spent Too Long Watching Get Back • Blind Hope • blisters on my fingers • Bond Girl • Bono Is Bigger Than The Beatles • Br • dead tod • bring me the head of francis bacon • Bud Miser • Had Enougth Of Politics • C • Ca • Cardenio • Cathrine • What Party? • I wasn't there honest guv • Deffo A Work Event • Christ as Stoichkov • christmas in cricklewood • chuck berry we stole his riffs • Church Of Merch • Nothing to See here • Cm • Co • CONTE VERDE • Cornwall • Cr • Crap World Cup Mascot • Cs • cu night twelfth • Cu • Cygnus • Cynthia v Yoko • David Bowie v Shakespeare • day 1 of lockdown oh my god • day 2 of lockdown be good to get our • day 3 of lockdown wtf? • day 4 of lockdown jim jams • day 5 of lockdown call docs • day 6 of lockdown bed head • day 7 of lockdown not getting out of bed • day 8 of lockdown st albans' wine & cheese extravaganza • day 9 of lockdown grateful we don't live in a flat in london • day 10 of lockdown another day • day 11 of lockdown locked out of the playground • day 12 of lockdown thank god for nomansland • day 13 of lockdown project fear being ramped up • day 14 of lockdown 3 word phrases • day 15 of lockdown take away take away • day 16 of lockdown blah • day 17 of lockdown it's like picadilly circus outside my house • day 18 of lockdown slobs days • day 19 of lockdown knock more tracks off • day 20 of lockdown still waiting for my EMDR treatment god what is going on? • day 21 of lockdown phoned the mental health emergency helpline and got cut off after an hour on hold it's pretty desperate • day 22 of lockdown need my freedom need to escape need to get out can't stand being trapped inside (childhood memories) • day 23 of lockdown at least I don't drink anymore though quite tempted to start again • day 24 of lockdown I'm certain that when we look back after the pandemic has finished we will see that lockdowns caused more harm than good • day 25 of lockdown driving to the next village will we get arrested? • day 26 of lockdown another day another walk so glad we live in the country • day 27 of lockdown working at home zoom freak out • day 28 of lockdown not much to say today • day 29 of lockdown got another idea for a world record • day 30 of lockdown is this the right person to be leading us and what is it all really about, still no word on EMDR • day 32 of lockdown not sure what day it is • day 33 of lockdown just keep going and still waiting for Psychiatrist to call • day 34 of lockdown spring is here shall I have an alcohol free beer? • day 35 of lockdown so many 3 word phrases quite frightening • day 36 of lockdown life is now all online what a drag • day 37 of lockdown right said fred are speaking out against lockdown what does it mean • day 38 of lockdown is more tedious than this album • day 39 of lockdown cheese and toast is the new rock n roll • day 40 of lockdown one day hats will be eaten • day 41 of lockdown survived the wicker man • day 42 of lockdown long way to go when will it end • day 43 of lockdown life is an online barbie fashion show • day 44 of lockdown run run run fat boy • day 45 of lockdown May 6th 2020 • day 46 of lockdown I bet they're having parties in Downing Street • day 47 of lockdown there's a reason why this is played in morse code • day 48 of lockdown this is morse code for why don't Spotify and Apple pay us more money • day 49 of lockdown If I Can Get Through Lockdown and finish this album of 1000 tracks then that would mean something • day 50 of lockdown May 11th 2020 • day 51 of lockdown bet there's been another party in Downing Street • day 52 of lockdown anyone still listening? • day 53 of lockdown we're all in this together? • day 54 of lockdown I can't wear a mask it triggers my PTSD what am i to do?

day 55 of lockdown cross it off my bedroom wall and the walrus was paul • day 56 of lockdown gonna have to go off sick can't cope with lockdown and having no treatment • day 57 of lockdown gp signed me off still no sign of EMDR oh well let's go for a walk • day 58 of lockdown no comment today • day 59 of lockdown we are putting our trust in a corrupt government let's all focus on making our own world a better place • day 60 of lockdown hospitality hospitality they've all got it in for hospitality • day 61 of lockdown The Rose And Crown • day 62 of lockdown longing to be back in Kessingland • day 63 of lockdown toast toast toast • day 64 of lockdown taking up metal detecting shame it's illegal in lockdown • day 65 of lockdown does Ed Sheeran fancy a track on this album? • day 66 of lockdown yeah that kind of sucks • day 67 of lockdown Our cat Minty has Pohms and he likes you to smell dem • day 68 of lockdown this album is like a musical filibuster • day 69 of lockdown i used to be a socialist now i just prefer colouring in • day 70 of lockdown ah might be starting my EMDR soon online of course would be nice to do it in person but there you go • day 71 of lockdown spell dem • day 72 of lockdown that's me in the corner • day 73 of lockdown smile and be happy • day 74 of lockdown amazon and on • day 75 of lockdown boot noot • day 76 of lockdown can i just sit it out this great reset thing • day 77 of lockdown june 7th • day 78 of lockdown june 8th 2020 • day 79 of lockdown june 9th 2020 • day 80 of lockdown june 10th 2020. • day 81 of lockdown june 11th 2020 • day 82 of lockdown june 12th 2020 • day 83 of lockdown june 13th 2020 • day 84 of lockdown june 14th 2020 • day 85 of lockdown june 15th 2020 • day 86 of lockdown june 16th 2020 • day 87 of lockdown june 17th 2020 • day 88 of lockdown june 18th 2020 • day 89 of lockdown june 19th 2020 • day 90 of lockdown june 20th 2020 is there another party? • day 91 of lockdown june 21st 2020 i quit! • day 92 of lockdown june 22nd 2020 • day 93 of lockdown june 23rd 2020 • day 94 of lockdown june 24th 2020 i'm 50 should have been playing the 100 club but i'm having fun in the garden pook with the family • day 95 of lockdown june 25th 2020 • day 96 of lockdown june 26th 2020 • day 97 of lockdown june 27th 2020 • day 98 of lockdown june 28th 2020 • day 99 of lockdown june 29th 2020 • day 100 of lockdown june 30th 2020 • day 101 of lockdown july 1st 2020 12 weeks my arse • day 102 of lockdown july 2nd 2020 summer mask implosion • day 103 of lockdown july 3rd 2020 • day 104 of lockdown july 4th 2020 independence day ha! • day 105 of lockdown july 5th 2020 • day 106 of lockdown july 6th 2020 ooh i need your maths babe • day 107 of lockdown july 7th 2020 • day 108 of lockdown july 8th 2020 the cues watch the queues • day 109 of lockdown july 9th 2020 • day 110 of lockdown july 10th 2020 • day 111 of lockdown july 11th 2020 pants • day 112 of lockdown july 12th 2020 • day 113 of lockdown july 13th 2020 only 1/3 way through yikes • day 114 of lockdown july 14th 2020 • day 115 of lockdown july 15th 2020 • day 116 of lockdown july 16th 2020 • day 117 of lockdown july 17th 2020 • day 118 of lockdown july 18th 2020 • day 119 of lockdown july 19th 2020 • day 120 of lockdown july 20th 2020 • day 121 of lockdown july 21st 2020 • day 122 of lockdown july 22nd 2020 • day 123 of lockdown july 23rd 2020 • day 124 of lockdown july 24th 2020 • day 125 of lockdown july 25th 2020 • day 126 of lockdown july 26th 2020.wav • day 127 of lockdown july 27th 2020 • day 128 of lockdown july 28th 2020 • day 129 of lockdown july 29th 2020 • day 130 of lockdown july 30th 2020 • day 131 of lockdown july 31st 2020 • day 132 of lockdown August 1st 2020 • day 133 of lockdown August 2nd 2020 • day 134 of lockdown August 3rd 2020 • day 135 of lockdown August 4th 2020.wav • day 136 of lockdown August 5th 2020 • day 137 of lockdown August 6th 2020 • day 138 of lockdown August 7th 2020 • day 139 of lockdown August 8th 2020

day 140 of lockdown August 9th 2020 • day 141 of lockdown August 10th 2020 • day 142 of lockdown August 11th 2020 • day 143 of lockdown August 12th 2020 • day 144 of lockdown August 13th 2020 • day 145 of lockdown August 14th 2020 • day 146 of lockdown August 15th 2020 • day 147 of lockdown August 16th 2020 time for a pizza party • day 148 of lockdown August 17th 2020 • day 149 of lockdown August 18th 2020.wav • day 150 of lockdown August 19th 2020 ya ya • day 151 of lockdown August 20th 2020 • day 152 of lockdown August 21st 2020 • day 153 of lockdown August 22nd 2020 pass me the port • day 154 of lockdown August 23rd 2020 • day 155 of lockdown August 24th 2020 • day 156 of lockdown August 25th 2020 • day 157 of lockdown August 26th 2020 • day 158 of lockdown August 27th 2020 • day 159 of lockdown August 28th 2020 • day 160 of lockdown August 29th 2020 • day 161 of lockdown August 30th 2020 • day 162 of lockdown August 31st 2020 • day 163 of lockdown September 1st 2020 • day 164 of lockdown September 2nd 2020 • day 165 of lockdown September 3rd 2020 • day 166 of lockdown September 4th 2020 • day 167 of lockdown September 5th 2020 • day 168 of lockdown September 6th 2020 • day 169 of lockdown September 7th 2020 • day 170 of lockdown September 8th 2020 • day 171 of lockdown September 9th 2020 • day 172 of lockdown September 10th 2020 • day 173 of lockdown September 11th 2020 • day 174 of lockdown September 12th 2020 • day 175 of lockdown September 13th 2020 • day 176 of lockdown September 14th 2020 • day 177 of lockdown September 15th 2020 • day 178 of lockdown September 16th 2020 • day 179 of lockdown September 17th 2020 • day 180 of lockdown September 18th 2020 • day 181 of lockdown September 19th 2020 • day 182 of lockdown September 20th 2020 • day 183 of lockdown September 21st 2020 • salami danger man • napoleon hill • joey ramone • john altman was in star wars • the trumpton diets • bono was quite good in that kids film • dave spud is the new rock and roll • bj is trump lite or NWO • blaze tv • Howard Hughes And The Unexplained • the mighty terriers (god loves) • hogan v rogan • i'd cancel myself but no-one would notice • i always preferred bonehead • holiday inn syncs • day job knobhead • qi • If I Get Back On H&J I Will Buy Them Cake • NFT NFT they've all got an NFT • Ricky Gervais Is My Hero • This Album Is Sponsored By….. • Let's Dance Is The Best Bowie Album • Can't Get A GIG in our own town (st Albans) • we don't talk about bruno (fernandes) not scoring anymore • Frank • one day I will duet with dua lipa • help me rhondda witht he LOA • private eye knows the truth about prince andrew • you can advertise here • the science of getting rich is just get people to buy your books • putin never misses a trick • i'm visualising going on the one show to talk about this album • graham norton guest yes that would be fine • i feel real change coming and people will start to value music more imagine life without it • imagine if that $100 million that rogan was paid was instead invested in new music just imagine • since napster and the wild west days of the internet people expect to get it for free - musicians, songwriters and artists all deseve to be paid a fair amount • all we are asking for is a level playing field and transparency • the music industry is eveloving record companies must embrace change and respect the music creators • we all need to come toegther • da doo ron ron aldo • middle of the road all musicians are walking down at the moment expand your minds • the masked singer • should i change my name to elvis • my god the hollies were crap • clement stone • is instagram just for shallow people • the mind can achieve whatever it can conceive • 52 and still wearing my old band t shirts is that ok Mr Robert Crampton? • looking foward to playing this song on Jool Holland • rolling stone are going to do a feature on this album • frank skinner go on give this track a play it's only 30 seconds long and it's for a good cause

attitude of gratitude • are the DSPs having a competition to see who can get away with paying the least amount of royalties • day 237 of lockdown November 14th 2020 • day 238 of lockdown November 15th 2020 • day 239 of lockdown November 16th 2020 • day 240 of lockdown November 17th 2020 • day 241 of lockdown November 18th 2020 • day 242 of lockdown November 19th 2020 • day 243 of lockdown November 20th 2020 • day 244 of lockdown November 21st 2020 • day 245 of lockdown November 22nd 2020 • day 246 of lockdown November 23rd 2020 • day 247 of lockdown November 24th 2020.wav • day 248 of lockdown November 25th 2020 • day 249 of lockdown November 26th 2020 • day 250 of lockdown November 27th 2020 • day 251 of lockdown November 28th 2020 • day 252 of lockdown November 29th 2020 • day 253 of lockdown November 30th 2020 • day 254 of lockdown December 1st 2020 • day 255 of lockdown December 2nd 2020 • day 256 of lockdown December 3rd 2020 • day 257 of lockdown December 4th 2020 • day 258 of lockdown December 5th 2020 • day 259 of lockdown December 6th 2020 • day 260 of lockdown December 7th 2020 • day 261 of lockdown December 8th 2020 • day 262 of lockdown December 9th 2020 • day 263 of lockdown December 10th 2020 • day 264 of lockdown December 11th 2020 • day 265 of lockdown December 12th 2020 • day 266 of lockdown December 13th 2020 • day 267 of lockdown December 14th 2020 • day 268 of lockdown December 15th 2020 • day 269 of lockdown December 16th 2020 • day 270 of lockdown December 17th 2020 • day 271 of lockdown December 18th 2020 • day 272 of lockdown December 19th 2020 • day 273 of lockdown December 20th 2020 • day 274 of lockdown December 21st 2020 • day 275 of lockdown December 22nd 2020 • day 276 of lockdown December 23rd 2020 • day 277 of lockdown December 24th 2020 xmas is cancelled well probably not for BJ and crew • day 278 of lockdown December 25th 2020 • day 279 of lockdown December 26th 2020 • day 280 of lockdown December 27th 2020 • day 281 of lockdown December 28th 2020 • day 282 of lockdown December 29th 2020 • day 283 of lockdown December 30th 2020 • day 284 of lockdown December 31st 2020 • day 285 of lockdown January 1st 2021 • day 286 of lockdown January 2nd 2021 • day 287 of lockdown January 3rd 2021 • day 288 of lockdown January 4th 2021 • day 289 of lockdown January 5th 2021 • day 290 of lockdown January 6th 2021 • day 291 of lockdown January 7th 2021 • day 292 of lockdown January 8th 2021 • day 293 of lockdown January 9th 2021 • day 294 of lockdown January 10th 2021 • day 295 of lockdown January 11th 2021 • day 296 of lockdown January 12th 2021 • zero hours hero • i'm going to sell this album for $48 million • day 299 of lockdown January 15th 2021. • penistone • heaven • fleximusicarian • uri made me do it • ey up it's the hispanic atmosphere of huddersfield town centre • holiday chalet • pleasure beach • i am banksy • no i am banksy • day 309 of lockdown January 25th 2021 • i think there's more than 1 banksy • bad mj style • encanto v frozen • i got invited to join the priory of sion once • beanie boo • gary neville and his moral high ground • paris st germain • day 317 of lockdown February 2nd 202 • day 318 of lockdown February 3rd 2021 • day 319 of lockdown February 4th 2021.wav • davos • what shall we do with the drunken norman mailer • ernie • yvette fielding • total dramrama • wooj • sandi on qi • st albans' people • stream queen • david wagner • my tps reports are wrong again • ctr alt del • ai bot but • Jay Z • LMFAO • Omari West • shawn carter • chicken soup for my rock n roll soul • i thought i was the best rapper in the world • day 339 of lockdown February 24th 2021 • vision it first • thoughts become things • vegasversary • let's gor crazy beep beep • loa part 2 • mystery pohms • coked up interns in the bog • nme • protest too much • another miracle • galaxy quest • chris warburton is a decent chap • under the surface • IT man Noel • badminton iggy pop style • day 355 of lockdown March 12th 2021

day 356 of lockdown March 13th 2021.wav • just chopsing • caiman show • thank you to all our fans • karma • day 361 of lockdown March 18th 2021 • day 362 of lockdown March 19th 2021 • day 363 of lockdown March 20th 2021 • day 364 of lockdown March 21st 2021 • my god get back is longer than this album • day 366 of lockdown March 23rd 2021 • day 367 of lockdown March 24th 2021 • the family madrigal • day 369 of lockdown March 26th 2021 • day 370 of lockdown March 27th 2021 • day 371 of lockdown March 28th 2021 • day 372 of lockdown March 29th 2021 • day 373 of lockdown March 30th 2021 • day 374 of lockdown March 31st 2021 • day 375 of lockdown April 1st 2021 • day 376 of lockdown April 2nd 2021 • day 377 of lockdown April 3rd 2021 • day 378 of lockdown April 4th 2021 • day 379 of lockdown April 5th 2021 • day 380 of lockdown April 6th 2021 • day 381 of lockdown April 7th 2021 • day 382 of lockdown April 8th 2021 • day 383 of lockdown April 9th 2021 • day 384 of lockdown April 10th 2021 • day 385 of lockdown April 11th 2021 • day 386 of lockdown April 12th 2021 • we love haulix • We love hotpress! • Rodney Of The Rock • Daniel Ek The Visionary • day 391 of lockdown April 17th 2021 • one falls they all fall • day 393 of lockdown April 19th 2021 • Lazar 111 • day 395 of lockdown April 21st 2021 • guess that official spotify playlist isn't going to happen now • day 397 of lockdown April 23rd 2021 • day 398 of lockdown April 24th 2021 • day 399 of lockdown April 25th 2021.wav • day 400 of lockdown April 26th 2021 • day 401 of lockdown April 27th 2021 • day 402 of lockdown April 28th 2021 • day 403 of lockdown April 29th 2021 • day 404 of lockdown April 30th 2021 • day 405 of lockdown May 1st 2021 • day 406 of lockdown May 2nd 2021 • day 407 of lockdown May 3rd 2021 • day 408 of lockdown May 4th 2021 • time walker • are we there yet • day 411 of lockdown May 7th 2021.wav • day 412 of lockdown May 8th 2021 • day 413 of lockdown May 9th 2021 • day 414 of lockdown May 10th 2021 • day 415 of lockdown May 11th 2021 • day 416 of lockdown May 12th 2021 • peace piece • talk about the nice time • define • froota • going viral • theses • munching carrots • new gwr • the beatles used the law of attraction • new machine • tct • more plinky guff • anyone bored yet? • fatman jogging (me) • urgent letter • mike errico thank you • day 433 of lockdown May 29th 2021 • columbo • bbq • bar mexe • may your dreams come • rolling atone baby baby • arts and dafts • afters • v is for • misquote • day 443 of lockdown June 8th 2021.wav • hungary • french fries • yo t l • level 42 met mark king in a pub • dinosaur • dance youself dizzy • no score • gritter splitta • jools • bombs • penalty • spurs • day 456 of lockdown June 21st 2021 • db • dear losers • Dear Losers still on repeat sorry • demons • dg • Dino Zoff • Dreaming Of THat Perfect Goal • Drowsy • DUA LIPA • Dull & Bottom • Dy • el mundo gira • elegy • Er • Es • Eu • noel ed • EVERY CRAP INDIE BAND SHOULD RECORD AT LEAST ONE FOOTY SONG • Every Nation Has It's Golden Generation • Exit (pursued by a bear) • F • Facist Football Hater • Faerie Queen • farewell part 1 • farewell part 2 • Farewell parts 1 and 2 • FAST RED MAN • Fe • feedback at the start of i feel fine • FIFA Sutherland • Food of Love • Fr • Franz • french got the funk on • from russia with hetero love • FUELLED UP ON ENERGY DRINKS • Full Fathom 5 Live • Full Time • Ga • Gaberdines And Pantaloons • Garincha Stryder • Gary Lineker • Gazza'a tears • Gd • Ge • george harrison didn't write his 2 biggest hits • gethsamane • give ringo another crap country song • glass onion • glitter on my carpet • GROTESQUE • H • Half Time • Hamlet • Happy Camper • Happy Dagger • have love will louis louis • He • He's A Sticker Licker • Heart's Content • HELL MONEY • helter skelter pissed in the bus shelter • Henry IV part 3 • Henry V's Doorbell • Her Majesty Was The First 30 second song • here come's the sun • HERRENVOLK • Hey Ho Nonny Nonny • Hf • Hg • High Time

Ho • Holographic Beatles On Tour • home • Homeward Bound • Hungary 10 El Salvador 1 • I don't give a flying folio malvolio • I Feel Fine • I got 3 years solitary for bringing my own beer • I ME ME RONALDO! • I ONCE AUDITIONED FOR A BAND CALLED MEXICO 70 • i wanna hold your hand but I'll ask you first • I wanna Hold Your Hand While YOu Sign My A Cheque For a million pound • I Wish The World Cup Was In Brazil Again says lonely sports reporter • I WROTE AND RECORDED 100 SONGS ABOUT THE WORLD CUP IN 2 DAYS, CAN'T YOU TELL • i.am will.i.am shakespeare. • I • I'm a Pal a Salah • I'm Going TO Make you A VAR • I'm Leaving On an standard class Aer Lingus. • I'M SUPPORTING PUSSY RIOT • I'm The Only Person Who Wants Iceland To Get Knocked Out Early.wav • If Prince had written a World Cup song it wouldn't sound like this • If Shakespeare Was Alive Today He'd Be Writing For Youtube • if the beatles were an 80s band • If this album doesn't get me an interview on Hawksbee & Jacobs I'm Going to stop listening to Talksport • If you Listen To The beatles backwards it says thyhtnkks • If You Play THis Song Backwards It Will Sound Crap. • Inv • INTER STELLAR CUP. • introducing the beatles • Ir • It gets a bit messy when you try to rhyme with Messi. • It is music with her silver sound • it's juck a fucking xebra crossing • It's Not even a realy country anyway • Jeremy Corbyn As Julius Ceasar • john lennon v the fbi • joey ramone joins the beatles • jose chungs from outer space. • Josimar comeback • Jules Rimming. • Julian Lennon PLayed THis Piano Once. • JUMPERS FOR GOAL POSTS. • Just Don't Let Spain Win Again • K • KADDISH. • KGB V FBI WORLD WAR 3 COMING SOON • King James 46 • King John's Rant • Kingdom For A Stage. • Kr • La • Lark • Larry O • leonard betts. • Let Music Sound • Letchkov not Letcho • Li. • live and let die is the best bond theme. • Living On Top Of A Porno Cinema • Love Is Blind. • Lr • Lu. • magic alex • man from the motor trade. • Manna • Marying A Punk. • MAX. • mcartney's ego trip part 2 • McCartney's Ego Trip • MEMENTO MORI • Mg • Mn. • Mo • MOOY JOY • Motley Coat • mr kite • Mr Trump • Much Ado • musings of a csm • N • Na • Nb • Nd • Ne. • nems • NEVER AGAIN. • Ni. • NO SCORE…NO DRAW. • none more white. • Not Many Beatles Songs Start in A Minor Key • Not Many Foootball Players Like Punk! • Np. • Oberon Kenobi. • On Shakespeare's Grave • on the field where i died • Ophelia • Os. • Oyster. • P. • Pa • paper hearts • Patti • paul's first acid trip • Pb • Pd. • PELE • Pet Sounds • Pete Best • Pick (ford) Of The Pops - Numba 1 • pickles the dog • PIPER • Play On. • Playing For Penalties. • Pm • Po • Pr • Pt • Putin hot • Pursued By A Bear • Pusher • QUAGMIRE • Hall Of fame • Quickly • ra ra poohtin • Ra • Rain • Ray Wilson • Rb. • Re • Redux 1. • Redux 2. • Revolution number 9 was way ahed of its time • rf. • Rh • Ringo's Replacement • Ripping Off The Beach Boys • Rn • Rocky Racoon as a Trump Type tycoon • Rome • Romeo & Juliet • ronnie scott • Ru • rubber soul was the greatest • Russian Bear • S • sanguinarium • Sb • Sc. • scrambled eggs. • scurvy politician • Se. • sergeant pepper seeks lady madonna to form lonely hearts club band • Second Best Bed (In Da House) • Shake It Off • All Over? • Shakespeare In Time • Shakespeare The Commuter • Shakespeare v Aliens. • Shakespeare v Spotify • Shaking Speare Stevens • Shaquiri V Shakira • She's A Woman • shitter's full. • Si • silent night • Slave Labour Stadiums • Sm • Sm1 • SMALLPOTATOES • Sn. • Sonic Youth Play The Beatles • world cup widows • Sounds Of Music • Spot the player on Coke • Sr • Stadium Inferno • Stage Craft Beer. • Star Of England • Stop Calling It The White Album - It's The Beatles! • Suicide In Shakespeare. • corned beef curry (not my idea) • Larry O • SYNCHRONY • SZYGY 4 • Ta • TALITHA • TAX CHEATS • tb or not tb • Tb • Tc. • when does art become pretension? • Teliko • TEMPUS FUGIT • TERMA • TEsos dos bichos 2 • the very best of Boris Johnson

The Ballad Of The Poisened Referee • The Beatles Gave Us Backwards Guitar • The Beatles Meet Elvis and Play Bass. • The Beatles Meet The Queen • THE BEST ONE YET • The Blue Samurai • the catcher in the rye. • The Charnocks. • The Curse Of WS • The Day I Met George Martin • the death of good duke humphrey • the doors took more drugs than the beatles • The First Twitter World Cup • The Globe • the hamburg days • The Life Of Brian • the long and winding road to get this album finished • The Maradona OF The Carpathians • The Middle Class Wives Of Windsor • The Miracle Of Bern • the missing chord • The Old Boys Of Panama • the people that don't get the beatles. • The Ringo Button • The Seven Moons • the trembling wilburrys • the usual suspects • The Water Carrier • THe White Album • There are 3 Gary Stevens But Only one of them caught a glimpse of Maradonna flying by • japan • this is a northern song • when does sound become music • Time Doth Waste Me • soundaries • white noise symphony • to die to sleep no more. • Tomorrow Never Knows Is The First Techno Track. • Tongue In Your Tail. • TOO MANY WHITE LINES • Tosspots. • Trident Studio Jam • Trump Town • TUNGUSKA • Turn Turn Turn in a Cruyf Style • U • unbeaten keepers • UNREQUITED • UNRUHE • V is for Vacumn • W • Was it Bobby or Roger Moore that was the towel thief. • WE ALL HATE WHEN ITV HAS THE MATCHES • We All Know Sexie Sadie Was About The Maharishi.wav • We All Live In A Yellow Submarine • We All Love Football Guff. • WETWIRED • WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO HALF TIME ORANGES • whatever happened to 442 • When i'm Pissed I'll Shout • When Shall We 3 Meet Again • when we were fab. • While THey Play The Bombs Keep Dropping • why were wings so • will anyone get close to Klose • Willow Willow Willow • World Cup Snacks • WORLD CUP WIDOWS • World Cup Winners Aftershow Party • World Cup Winners Hangover • World In Motion Was So Over Rated • World Of Leather • Xe • summer jesus • Y • Yb • you can't burn streams • zero sum • didn't think I would make it to 1000 • ok thanks to all involved and peace and love • 3000 streams just for a pint • time to go it's chicken time

#hyltta-polls #polls #artist: the pocket gods #language: english #decade: 2020s #Novelty #Alternative Rock

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sp25 · 8 months

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Desperation

pairing: kylo ren x f!reader

summary: your need for his love

warnings: 18+ this is sexually explicit, do not read this or interact with my blog if you’re a minor. consists of name calling, fingering, blowjos, manhandling, manipulation do not copy or use ai on my shit, i'll find out. I am not responsible for your media consumption.

a/n: first of all, thank you everyone who supported my last post, I am honestly more than grateful. You guys reblogging or even liking it has given me the confidence to write more content. So this is a new one. Again based on a character ai that I came across, this one is called "Kylo Ren' by @squishysushii, thank you so much for inspiring me and go and please support the ai creator.

Kylo Ren, a name that spread fear across the galaxy.

Yet, a name that comforted you through the dark times and gave you light.

You were Kylo's most prized possession.

He'd watched you grow in skill throughout the years under his strict training. Under his guidance, you'd pushed your body to the brink, experienced the most excruciating pain, and the most intense workout regimens, all to please him. Your Master.

But for the last couple of weeks, you felt alone. You wandered through the ship struggling to find a purpose without your master.

Kylo had been so busy these last few weeks and he had hardly any time for you, his sweet pet. He knew you were lonely and he felt bad for being so distant, but things between him and Rey have been complicated. He knew she needed him.

But, he didn't know the conditions he had left you in.

You had started becoming close to Obi Wan after coming across him in one of your missions. You knew your master didn't require or need you any longer. All you had to do was wait to talk to your master so you could finally leave the dark side and meet your new lover, Obi Wan.

You decided to over come your fear and go to his office. As soon as you entered his office, Kylo was sitting at his desk, working late. He looked exhausted. He was about to reach for the glass of wine in front of him when he saw you.

You could feel the breath in your lungs stop. How much you tried to make yourself distant from you just couldn't.

"Master.. I wish to talk to you", you whispered.

Kylo looks up from his work and he sees it was you.

He was so happy to see you and he almost didn't notice how and when did you entered. He had a faint smiled at you, but he quickly realized how much weight you lost lately. He was concerned about you.

Kylo put the glass of wine down and got up to hug you. He was so relieved to have you in his arms again.

It had been too long. He gave you a loving kiss on your forehead and he pulled you towards him. You both shared a deep embrace, he was so close to his pet now, finally he could feel her body again. He missed to feel your curves.

"Y/n." He said so rasply. But you had to spit out the truth.

"I am leaving the dark force." You tried to sound confident but you knew how weak you were.

Your words seem to switch a flip in Kylo. Hiis expression darkens. As if you just made his worst nightmare come true. Kylo stands up, his face is filled with both shock and anger. He speaks with disgust "Why would you forsake the Darkside?" There is both rage and sadness in his voice.

"Master." you softly said hoping to calm him down with your soft words. "I can't tell you, I am afraid you might hurt this person."

He steps closer. Loosing his composure "Tell me!" He grabs your shoulders roughly and shakes you "Now!"

You look down at the floor unable to look into his eyes as tears fall down your cheeks. "Obi Wan.." You stutter.

Rage and disgust fill Kylo's face as he throws you against the wall with such force, you slide a couple feet on the ground "You betrayed me to join that old traitor?"

You could feel the pain through your entire body but the pain you felt in your heart was worse. You look up at him with tears, "I am sorry Master, I can't control whom I love."

Kylo steps closer and stares down at you with hatred and disdain "How long have you known you felt this way about Obi Wan?"

"For few months Master." Your words were cutting the cold heart of Kylo's.

Kylo steps even closer and you feel his breath on your face. "You've been keeping this from me for that long? All the while, training under me?"

"I didn't know how to tell you." You answer truthfully.

You had been worried with how Kylo would respond and seeing his reaction now; your worries were confirmed.

You watch as Kylo looks away from you, trying desperately to contain his anger. When he looks back, he's not the same person. His expression is filled with rage and hatred for you. All the love he felt for you, gone. "I should kill you for this. For abandoning me and the dark side."

"I didn't abandon you Master, you abandoned me!

“You left me for Ren! I am now taking the path of love for Obi." You said loudly, you couldn't take anymore of his harsh words.

He steps back and paces around you, like an enraged and caged animal. "Is your love for him worth losing me, and everything we could have accomplish together?"

"Yes! because Obi treats me like a lover, I finally feel like a girl, but with you I feel like you always abandon me for your wishes. I do everything for you yet you give me nothing!" You scream out loudly, unable to contain your emotions any longer.

His eyes widen. He grabs you by the throat and speaks through clenched teeth. "You would rather be with him? You want to be treated as a "girl"? You'll do anything for him, but not me?" You could feel the air leave your lungs cause how tightly he choked your throat.

"Yes! Cause with him I'm happy! You says as you stutter, desperate for air. "but with you I feel a wall. I have loved you for so long long before I loved Obi yet you never saw me as lover but only as a trophy." You couldn't believe the words that came out of your mouth.

He drops you onto the ground and as you get up accepting defeat.

Kylo moves up behind you and grabs you roughly from behind. You don't struggle. He pulls you in close and speaks in a harsh whisper "You're going nowhere. If you think I'll let you go that easily... You'd better think again...I can't believe I let a whore be allowed in my team."

You could feel his one of his hands slowly move down your hips, his hand pressed against your wet and needy pussy, while the other one held your neck tightly, choking you.

He whispers angrily and passionately in your ear

"No.You're not leaving me. Not now, not ever. I've made a decision. You are my fucking slut, mine. You fucking get it? You are made for me. This pussy is mine, all fucking mine. And if I have to use every tool and technique at my disposal, I'm not letting you go"

You could feel his hands slip inside your pants, his index finger teasing your hole, this makes you whimper so needily. "Oh, you think you have any hope of escape?" He leans in and whispers in your ear "You belong to me. You always have, and you always will. You can put up a fight, but it won't change a thing."

You could feel his index finger slip inside you with such ease. Your warm pussy wetting his finger with ease as you could feel how roughly he started fingering you. Your mind was fogging you couldn't even form words.

Another one of his fingers easily slipping inside of you while his thumb teases your clit. You know it cannot end well. He speaks calmly yet angrily "It's over, my love. No more running." You know you have no choice... You accept your fate and wait for your doom.. you could feel his two fingers easily moving inside and out of you, hitting all the right spots as he rubbed your clit so roughly, that you were sure it would be swollen now.

Just as your are about to come, Kylo removes his fingers smirking. You could see his fingers glistening with your wetness as he smirks. "I will show you how much better I am than Obi Wan." He puts his fingers in his mouth, sucking on them and closing his eyes blissfully, "so fucking sweet for me."

He manhandles as he pushes you onto his office desk, throwing all his desk items on the floor. You looked up at him with fear yet desire.

He smiled so proudly as he pulled down your uniform touching your tits, squeezing them. He loves how hard and perky your nipples were for him so he softly pulled on one and bit the other one making you moan softly. "I can't wait to have you on your hands and knees, begging me to take you and make you mine." He said so confidently.

He pushes you onto your knees. "Open your mouth." He says sternly and you do so without hesitation. He smirks satisfied as he pulls out his throbbing cock, he strokes his cock softly as he looks your face.

He presses the tip of his cock on your lips, wetting it with pre-cum as if telling you to open your mouth wider. He slowly pushes his cock into your mouth.

You took him till you felt it hit the back of your throat, slightly gagging, his hands grabbed for your hair taking in a hand full as he started to make your your head bob up and down, licking his veins as you do so.

A groan escapes him in coarse ripples and he tilts his head back, loving the warmth your mouth provides him. He starts aggressively slamming his hips into your mouth, trying to catch his high.

His cock kept hitting the back of your throat as he kept whispering and groaning your name. "fuck y/n."

Your jaw ached cause how hard he was going. Your pussy only seemed to get more needier for him. Your could feel your panties dampen with need as your rubbed yourself against the floor trying to find pleasure too.

"swallow it pet." You suddenly felt white spurts of cum coated your mouth and trickled down your throat.

You kept sucked him one last time before pulling off and wiping your mouth. You swallowed his cum like a good girl.

He looked down at you staring as said softly adoringly "you look so beautiful when I fuck your mouth pet".

His comment made your cheeks flush red. "Master." you begged. You wanted to cum too so badly.

His voice turns dark and sensual as he leans in closer.

"Let me fill that hole in you, y/n." He lets out a soft chuckle. "A hole only I fit into."

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a/n: okay first of all, I am honestly sorry for leaving it on such a high note. I was about to continue but I realised how long this story is. Listen if you guys want a second part, do tell. I know the smut wasn't long, I promise to make it longer next time. Again guys, thanks for reading it. Please feel free to Dm me or request anything. I am more than happy to write.

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