#body dysmorphia will be the death of me

[paperscarlet]

will never understand how my brain can make me look skinny one day and obese the next

[probablydietcoke]

[lainxr]

HEY DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY KEYWORDS FOR TH1NSP0 ON PINTEREST 😞😞

[all-dead-inside21]

I would love to know how it feels to have a best friend or a lover.... Must be nice right? How does it feel to get touched by hands who don't want to to do any harm. My head is a virgin buit my body isn't. All I can do is hugging myself gently with my own hands cause I don't know better... Sometimes my head is like: I would deserve better... Deep in my mind I hope there is a man on earth who's just waiting for me... Would be nice

[666m4gg0tinahoodie]

Oh to be a pigeon, shitting on people's head, eating seeds and living 5 years

[joonberriess]

animal farm. ☆ j.jk + k.th

⋆ TAGS — dark!tae + jk, morals are zero bc it’s the apocalypse, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, TW: non-con to dub-con as oc adapts to survive, captivity, breeding kink, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampies, pregnant sex, fingering, creepy sleazy!tae, yandere elements, open-ending beware it’s not a good one, angst, death (just the zombies lol), jk’s a hunky daddy, possessive tae and jk, obsession, somnophilia, mentioned abortion, “fuck them kids” - oc, debatable happy ending, misogyny and objectification, outdoor sex(?), thigh fucking, mentioned/hints of body dysmorphia bc oc DOES NOT want to be pregnant

⋆ WORD COUNT — 13.3k

⋆ now playing: animal farm - bibi ⋆

You’re not sure how much time has passed since the outbreak—days, months, years—time was a relatively foreign concept, all that was left was to survive. Didn’t matter what day of the week it was or whether it was night or day, the days were all the same in the end.

The day it happened started like any other day: you woke to a flurry of messages wishing you happy birthday, and you were greeted by the sight of your pup running around in excitement as you prepared for the day. You were going to work a short shift that day (courtesy of your boss) all your co-workers had pitched in to buy you a nice cake from the bakery down the street. Your mom even promised to call you later on given the distance between you and her.

Everything was just as you remembered—a blue sky, people commuting, the sounds of traffic—it was just another regular day. After work you stopped to buy a bottle of wine, too busy chatting with the cashier to notice the storm of police cars, ambulances, and firetrucks passing by. The rest of the way home you listened to music, blissfully unaware of the nearby fires and rising smoky black skies.

Night came, prepared a delicious pasta and served a rather large serving of wine. Your dog sat by the front door the entire time, posture stiff and tail straight as he stared at seemingly nothing. That should have been the first sign.. After setting the pasta aside to cool your phone rang and you smiled. “Mom-”

“Listen to me,” she sounded desperate, “do NOT go outside, no matter what you hear or see y/n, STAY INSIDE.” She bites out in a fearful tone, “Your father and I are going to try and head over there, for the love of God please stay inside.”

“Mom, what's happening? Is everything okay? Are you and dad oka-” Suddenly the sound of a nearby building blowing up makes you jump. Your apartment rattles and you lose your balance, falling over as the phone slides away from you, “Mom?!” You scramble to your feet and run to the windows, yanking them all the way back to reveal the chaos unfolding..

The world around you is in flames, people are running and cars are being crashed or abandoned. You see helicopters storming the sky all around, endless police cars are scattered below your apartment and you hear the sounds of gunshots from every direction. Your eyes widen in horror as a plane comes crashing down somewhere downtown, and then more screams erupt alongside a few rather..inhuman sounds.

“y/n?! y/n?!” You snap your attention back to the fallen phone.

“M-Mom?” You crouch down and pick up the phone, “What’s happening?” You tearfully whisper. You hear the same chaos unfolding on the other side of the line, your dad is yelling something in the background while your mom tries to tell you a bunch of things all at once.

“Oh my sweet girl,” she softly whispers in a wobbly tone, “we love you so much, never forget that.” You hear a gunshot and your dad yelling some more, “Get to your uncle,” she cuts off by a loud screeching noise, “we’ll meet you there—!” She gasps as the screeching turns into animalistic noises, “Never forget—we love you.” The line cuts dead. You stand there in complete silence with an endless flow of tears streaming down your face.

The wine and pasta sat cold all night, then the night after that, and after that. If you were to go back there you’d probably see what was left of your apartment, most likely scavenged and destroyed by either survivors or whatever the hell those things were.

And to think that it had been just another random day..

You never did get to see your parents. You wondered if they died on their way to the farm or if they never stood a chance leaving in the first place. You like to believe they’re out there somewhere safe, that they found refuge with other groups far away from chaos. Like your father had once said: you keep finding something to fight for.

And that’s what you intended.

+

“Dammit.” You whispered under your breath while pushing through the endless shrubs and tree branches in your way.

By now every city was covered from head to toe in vines and other plant life. Apart from the obvious decay everything would have looked normal if it weren’t for the fact that there was a darkness lingering in the shadows. Cars, bikes, and trucks were scattered around, sitting as a reminder of the way things were once. It played like a bittersweet memory in the back of your mind as you pushed forward.

You brushed your hands over the front of your shorts and looked around the area. It was quiet all around with the only sounds being the wind blowing the overgrown grass all around. You had finally made it to Daegu after walking for two months straight. Your body ached and you were sure your feet had blisters from all the walking (occasional running) you did.

A few times (more than you would like to admit) you reached a breaking point where you wanted nothing more than to give up and go back to your uncle’s farm. Yet somehow some-way you would regain your strength and keep pushing—for family. It’s how you ended up all the way down in Daegu, just another month or two (maybe three) away from Busan.

You were far too deep to stop now.

You uncapped your water jug and took greedy sips as the water ran down your chin and throat. “That’s better.” You murmur softly as your parched throat absorbs every last drop of the water. You take a second to sit down on a nearby rock to bring your map out.

“Okay.. If I’m here,” you trail off while running your finger over the lines of the map, “then that means I go this way..and turn here to—” You immerse yourself in your own thoughts, ignoring the sound of your stomach growling. You shift from side to side, ignoring the heavy weight of your shotgun tucked away in your backpack, sticking out like a sore thumb.

So far you didn’t need to use the gun (yet), your encounters with those unruly beasts were minimal since they had taken to hiding in buildings. Crazed survivors were unlikely, most were hidden away too and if they were out you simply snuck past them until you felt like you could breathe again. You’d say you were doing a pretty damn good job at conserving your ammo etc.

“Alright,” you sigh heavily and put your map away, “up I go.” You mumble and start heading down the grassy street, just looking all over the area. You always did want to visit Daegu, guess it was your lucky day.

The street comes to a dead end as you stop in front of two tilted buildings crashed into each other with endless rubble surrounding the area. “Just my luck,” you groan out, seeing as there isn’t another option as you hop up the rubble, making your way into the dark desolate building.

With every step you take your heart begins beating faster, chances that those things are swarming the building are high. Your heart drops even more when you realize that the only way out that was straight ahead of you is blocked off by debris. You stop in the middle of the room, looking up as you inhale deeply.

“Only way out is going up then..” You mutter and grab your flashlight.

Everything is silent around you save for the drops of water hitting the ground and echoing off the empty halls. You work your way around the decaying bodies and thrown furniture surrounding the halls. Finding another way out of the building was something you had not planned on doing, but it seemed like you were going to have to get to higher ground to scope the surroundings out for an exit.

“Ah-ha,” you light up when you realize this building has balconies. A triumphant smile forms on your lips as you head up a small flight of stairs to reach the next floor where the balconies were located. You kept a close eye and ear out for any strange movements, you weren’t alone after all.

As you move to step over a piece of debris, suddenly a large part of the ground rumbles before breaking off and falling through the second floor. Your entire body goes still. You begin breathing heavily as you shakily reach for the shotgun in your backpack. Seconds of silence pass, you stand there with the shotgun in your hands and your face twisted in fear.

Nothing happens until you hear it..

A low faint croaking sound—click, click, click—there’s soft thuds as the creature moves around, getting closer and closer. You’re too scared to turn around or even make a sound. The floor behind you creaks and the creature gets closer, idly squeaking and croaking. Your only mistake is letting out a fearful breath, because suddenly the creature stops and screeches loudly, lunging at you at full speed.

You take off down the hall, pushing past the stone and rubble with the damned thing hot on your heels. Right as you think it’s about to snatch you right up with its bubbly deteriorating arms, an arm lunges out and yanks you into a room pressing you right up against the wall. You flinch violently and stare at the mysterious person in front of you, you can’t help but tremble as you open your mouth.

The stranger gives you a pointed look, slamming his hand over your mouth as he presses himself tight against you, “If you don’t wanna end up dead just sit the fuck still and be quiet,” he harshly whispers while looking out the corner of his eye to see if the creature is still after you.

Your grip on your shotgun loosens, you both stare at each other in silence as the creature stops outside of the room, croaking as it looks for you. When the thing comes close by the open doorway you squeeze your eyes shut and hold your breath. It doesn’t go away for another few minutes, when it does it ventures into another room across the hall, its noises slowly fading away until it’s fully gone.

The guy lifts a finger over his mouth and softly makes a “shh” sound. You nod slowly and he slowly lifts his hand off, “Follow me,” he quietly mutters and grabs your hand. You don’t even struggle as he leads you far away from the room, and out some doors that lead to a fire escape. “Careful, the metals all worn out. Don’t need you fallin’ on me.” He says as he begins climbing down.

You stand there quietly trying to think if it’s a good idea to follow this guy. Probably not but you were the one with the gun here, not him. “You coming or what?” He says in annoyance, already halfway down the ladders.

You snap out of it and quickly follow, “Yeah, yeah.” You softly whisper.

When you reach the last set of ladders the stranger is already waiting for you down on the ground, he watches you silently with no expression on his face. “C’mere,” he holds his arms out, “I’ll catch you.” You shouldn’t be so trusting but for some reason you just let yourself fall into his arms. A quiet yelp escapes your lips as you curl into yourself out of fear, “Relax, scary part’s over.” He lets out a deep chuckle.

“T-Thank you,” you mutter, still shaken up over the incident, “I really appreciate what you did back there, I haven’t seen those things since this entire thing started. I guess I wasn’t so prepared to go against one up close like that,” you mutter while kicking a rock around.

He shrugs, “I don’t think anyone can ever be prepared to face off against one of those things.” He sighs while looking around, “You got somewhere you gotta be or you just like wandering into abandoned buildings in your free time?” He shoves his hands into his pockets, a small grin grazing his lips.

It’s not the best idea to ever tell a stranger where you’re going especially given the situation the entire world is in. “I was just trying to scavenge,” you finally say after a few seconds, “I was running out of a few things so I decided to get some air while I was out.” You can’t keep eye contact with him for the love of your own life. His gaze is pretty intense and he seemed like the type of person who kept eye contact throughout an entire conversation.

“Ah,” he nods, “I was too, but then I heard the commotion and decided to see what was up, and you were there.” He chuckles, “Kim Taehyung.” He holds his hand out.

“y/n.” You reply softly and take his much bigger hand into yours, “Well, I think I’ll be going now. Can’t keep my group waiting.” You trail off nervously when his grip tightens instead of letting you go, “Um, Taehyung..? My hand?” You whisper out.

Taehyung hums, “It’s getting pretty late isn’t it? Sun down is around the corner and well, it doesn’t seem pretty ideal to walk around all by yourself in the dark now is it?” He tilts his head.

He’s right, you can see the sun start to set slowly and the world around you is painted in a dark orange-yellow hue. Your little lie wasn’t going to keep up much longer if he decides to walk you to your “group”. You nod slowly, “Yeah.. I guess so.” You rub the side of your arm as a chilly breeze sweeps over the both of you.

“Wanna come back with me to my place? Not far, just a ten minute walk from here, even got working water and electricity.” You perk up at the last two things which ends up making him laugh, “Yeah I know, you’ll see what I mean.” He begins pulling you along with him, hand wrapped tightly around your wrist.

“I wouldn’t wanna intrude or anything,” you quickly say, “I can just go back to my group, ‘s not a problem really.” You wince a little when his grip begins to become painful.

Taehyung shakes his head, “ ‘s not safe out here at night, just stop being stubborn will you? You looked ready to give up back there with just one of those things, now imagine dozens?” He chuckles humorlessly with his head still turned away, you sigh quietly and go limp finding it no use to fight back because he clearly wasn’t going to let you go which in itself looked like an entire red flag.

He leads you to another building, you notice the slight change in temperature when you walk into the darkened lobby, it’s slightly warmer.. “How did you get the electricity to work?” You wonder out loud while looking around.

“Turns out the power generator wasn’t completely ruined, wasn’t very hard to get it going again and well, now we have working water and electricity.” He shrugs while guiding you down the hall and stopping in front of a door.

You frown in confusion, “We?” You tilt your head, “There’s someone else?” Oh this wasn’t what you were expecting, now you had to stay alert for not only Taehyung but his fucking friend too.

“Yeah, Jungkook.” He says like nothing while punching in the keycode, “He’s one of the guys I met when this all happened, we stayed together—no not like that,” he chuckles, “he’s a good friend of mine.” He gives you a bright smile before pushing the door open.

You’re hit with warmth and light, the entire room is lit up and you can smell something cooking in the kitchen. This makes you reminisce about the past when you would be coming home after a long day at work, cooking something up and unwinding with your pup on the couch. Your heart twists bitterly as you clutch your backpack closer, you hear noises come from the kitchen and you turn your head in alarm.

“Relax, that’s Jungkook.” Taehyung chuckles as he guides you into the living room with his hands over your shoulders, “Jungkook, this is y/n and y/n, Jungkook.” He cheerfully introduces you two like you’re longtime friends or something, “I saved her from a clicker just now.” He briefly says to Jungkook.

Jungkook gives you one good look, dark eyes trailing over you before he turns his back, “You guys hungry?” He breaks the tension in the room, it has you sagging in relief that he wasn’t rude or didn’t see you as a threat. “She looks like she’s seen better days, don’t be fucking rude Tae let her shower n shit the food is almost ready anyways.” He comments while shaking some spices into the food he was making.

“Oh shit, forgot about that. C’mere, bathroom’s this way.” Taehyung pushes you down another hall, “Hot water n everything so go crazy. Clean towel’s there, and you’re welcome to help yourself to anything in there. I have some extra razors, don’t know if you’d need them or anything I don’t know but yeah.” He smiles, “See you when you’re done.” He leaves after that.

You stand in the bathroom quietly for a few seconds, you don’t like the ugly little feeling you get in your tummy from being around these guys. You’re grateful and all but you can’t help the distrusting feeling you get. With a heavy sigh you set your things down and begin undressing out of your clothes. The water feels so amazing against your sore muscles, you stand under the shower just basking in the luxury of hot water with your eyes closed.

Cleanup goes fairly quickly, you helped yourself to one of the razors Taehyung mentioned to you and took your time in scrubbing the dirt and grime off of your body. Now that you think about it, it made sense earlier as to why Taehyung didn’t look dirty or anything. This explains a whooolleeee lot now.

“Hey y/n,” Taehyung calls out as the door opens, “Came to give you something.” He says like it’s no big deal at all while he enters the bathroom.

“T-Taehyung..!” You gasp in shock, throwing yourself into the corner of the shower while staring at the curtains in terror, “Whatever it is, can you just please drop it somewhere! Kinda not in the best situation right now,” you clutch the loofah close.

Taehyung laughs, “Calm down, I just came to give you an extra pair of clothes. Yours are kinda worn down no offense, it wouldn’t make sense to re-dress in nasty clothes after cleaning yourself now would it?” He says as he moves around the bathroom.

“Thanks..but um..can you…?” You trail off.

“I’m going, I’m going,” he breathily chuckles, “Jungkook says the food’s ready, see you out there.” He heads out. You wait for him to close the door but when you hear no sound you peek your head out of the corner of the curtain, “My bad,” Taehyung holds up your tattered clothes, “kinda cute that they got little bears all over them.” He motions to your underwear.

Your face heats up in embarrassment, “Stop looking!”

“I will!” Taehyung lets the door slip shut, his laughter fading as he disappears down the hall. You sigh in relief and let your back hit the wall, what the hell was even that? You were definitely going to be leaving ASAP with the way Taehyung seemed to lack boundaries with literally ANYTHING. First he was touchy and now he’s looking at your underwear shamelessly? That was a no-go.

“I swear I locked it..” You mutter while washing your hair.

After your hot shower you slip out and dry yourself with the towel, you were curious to see what clothes he brought you. You notice it’s a large black shirt and a pair of boxers sitting neatly folded on the counter. Better than nothing you guessed while dropping the towel and dressing yourself. The boxers fit like oversized shorts on you which you’re pretty glad for.

Your heart drops when you see that your backpack isn’t there anymore. A lot of things seem to be running through your mind all at once, was this the end? Were you going to die now? All because of a hot shower?

“Oh there you are,” Jungkook comments when you walk into the same room from before, he notices your panicked state and chuckles, “relax, Tae put your things over there by the door. He put your clothes to wash too.” He nods his head in the direction of the laundry room, “You hungry?” He holds up a bowl of hot food.

“Thank you..” You softly whisper while going over to sit at the table, your mouth waters at the sight of hot food, another luxury you couldn’t afford in this world after leaving your uncle’s home to go to Busan.

Jungkook eyes you appreciatively in his clothes as he sets the food down in front of you, “Glad to see they fit.” He comments, “You can start eating by the way, Tae’s gonna shower so it’ll be just us two til he gets back.” He lazily shrugs while sitting across from you.

He set out an array of side dishes like rice, kimchi, wood ear mushrooms and other stuff that looks really tasty. The two of you eat in silence with Jungkook humming occasionally at the taste or something like that. You don’t really want to talk much either so you’re grateful for the quietness between the two of you. The food is really amazing too, it fills your ravenous hunger you’ve had for the past week since running out of granola bars.

“So,” Jungkook leans back in his chair, “Tae says you’re a part of a group huh?” He tilts his head, “Kinda explains the shot gun n shit. Loads of ammo too.” He picks up a piece of meat and shoves it into his mouth.

“Yeah..” You mumble, “I was just scavenging, had to cross through the building n yeah that’s how me and Tae ran into each other—or more like him saving me.”

Jungkook nods, “Okay… so why don’t you tell me the real truth? No bullshitting either sweetheart, we’ve been here for how many years and never have we ever seen or heard of a group past that building or on our side.” He smirks, “C’mon, tell me. I don’t bite.”

You stare at him in awe and realization that you’ve been caught, “Fuck okay,” you sigh heavily, “Originally I was staying with my uncle in the outskirts of Suwon after the whole apocalypse happened, for years now I’ve been believing my parents are still alive and out there, problem is out there is literally all the way down in Busan,” you see him perk up at the mention of Busan, “so I’ve been walking ever since trying to get there to find them, they’re farmers, if they’re out there they’re probably still in the old farmhouse I grew up in.”

“Well I’ll be damned,” he nods, “I’m fuckin’ impressed you made it this far, shit not even me who was stranded Ulsan when this all happened.” He shakes his head, “Guess we all got something that keeps up goin’ huh.” He leans back in his chair with a hum.

You stare down at your food, “Yeah..” You whisper softly.

The silence is broken when Taehyung comes out of the hall, towel in his hair and a pair of low hanging sweats clinging over his hips as he whistles, “Looks good,” he says to Jungkook while taking a seat next to him, it’s only then you fully see that he’s not wearing a shirt at all. You turn your head slightly in embarrassment as Taehyung laughs, “What? Something on my face?”

“No you idiot, obviously someone you fucking just met wouldn’t wanna see you half naked ‘n shit you pervert.” Jungkook elbows his friend.

“I’m not though,” Taehyung snorts, “I’m sure she’s seen worse than this,” he shoots you a wink to which you hunch your shoulders together sheepishly.

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “So did basic etiquette also fly out the window when the apocalypse happened or what?” Taehyung doesn’t reply anything because he’s too busy stuffing his face, Jungkook’s eyes land back on you and he sits up, “You look sleepy, you can take my room if you want I’ll sleep here,” he nods, “and before you panic I’ll take your backpack to you too.” He smirks.

You slump in your seat with a sigh, “Thanks..”

“No need.” Jungkook curtly replies and gets up as he brings your backpack over, “Follow me.” He treads down the hall with your things flung over his broad shoulder.

“G’Night pretty,” Taehyung grins with a wicked glint in his eyes as he looks at you up and down, “very fuckin’ pretty..” He chuckles quietly and goes back to eating.

You shiver, and not in the good way either. You follow Jungkook into another room, he’s already setting your things down and bringing out pillows, “I usually sleep without one but here’s some I had in my closet,” he sets them down, “not that there’s much to steal but please don’t take my shit. I trust you.” He gives you a firm pat, squeezing your waist as he slips by you.

“Thank..you..?” You turn to watch him.

“Yeah, yeah no funny business. Night sweetheart.” He lets the door slip shut quietly.

The first thing you do is lock it, making sure the door is jammed before you take one of his chairs he had and press it right up against the knob. When you feel like no one can enter you finally slip into the comfy bed, groaning in relief as your sore body slumps into the sheets. It’s been so long since you’ve had a proper bed to lay in. You roll around before curling over a pillow and hugging it tight to your chest.

Your tired eyes slip shut and you fall asleep comfortably for the first time in ages.

+

You pry your eyes open when a beam of sunlight hits you across your face. At first you’re confused and disoriented but then everything that happened to you yesterday comes down as you recap quickly. You slowly sit up with a loud yawn, looking around the room in daze. Everything is as you left it, and the chair is still propped up against the door.

“Time is it..” You mutter and look around. You find a clock on the wall and squint your eyes to read the time. “Oh,” it’s noon. You shuffle out of bed despite your limbs protesting as you look around for your things, you had an extra change of clothes in your backpack anyways so getting your old clothes was not a issue.

The weather as of lately has been pretty bipolar, hot or breezy so you never knew what to expect. You figured it was springtime anyways. You dressed in a loose white flower printed camisole, another pair of brown shorts over black tights and managed to slip your boots back on.

“Alright,” you bring out your map and check the streets etc, “took me here..so now we go this way,” you mutter quietly while reading the map. You had made sure to catch the name of the building before entering last night. That way it would be easier when leaving. “Okay.” You smile and fold the map back up.

You step out of the room with your belongings on your back, treading down the hall quietly as you come across Taehyung and Jungkook setting the table, “Oh you’re awake.” Jungkook says as his eyes drop to your hands where you’re clutching the straps of your backpack.

Taehyung pauses and turns to look too, “Oh…” He trails off, visibly upset that you’re already going. “ ‘s pretty dangerous out there.” He comments with a blank look.

“I’ll find a way.” You reply curtly, “I appreciate you guys letting me stay the night but I really have to go now. Thank you.” You bow in appreciation, Jungkook doesn’t say anything and instead Taehyung makes his way over to stand in front of you.

“At least stay for breakfast yeah? C’mon there’s no harm in that.” Taehyung pleads while setting a bowl down on the table, “Plus, why would you even wanna go? Those things are still out there, they’ll tear you apart the first chance they get. Just stay, yeah?” It’s no longer, stay for breakfast, rather Taehyung is now openly begging you to stay.

Your breath hitches when you see his hand come up to touch your shoulder, you jerk away and take a step back, “I’m leaving Taehyung, thank you from the bottom of my heart but I’ll be fine.” You say firmly while stepping past him.

Jungkook calmly stands there with his arms over his chest, he looks down at you and hums, “You’re not leaving sweetheart,” he calmly says, “why don’t you get that backpack off and sit down so we can all eat together.”

When it becomes apparent they have no intention of letting you leave you snap, “Get away from me!” You shove Jungkook as hard as you possibly can, watching him stumble out of shock as you duck past him and slam the front door open.

“y/n get back here!” Taehyung yells out.

You don’t waste another second and run down to the exit, kicking the door open and heading down the street towards the way you were supposed to go. Adrenaline kicks in like never before as you whip your head back occasionally to see if they’re following. You’re pretty far when you notice Jungkook and Taehyung exiting out the building looking both ways before they see you and start running.

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.” You whisper while jumping over fallen things and rocks.

They’re yelling a bunch of shit that you don’t care about, your main focus is to get the hell away from them. You duck into a building, taking note that it’s a mall as you manage to run up the escalator. “She went in here!” Taehyung says not far behind.

You hear their heavy footsteps as they run up the steps too. You see a rack sitting there so you throw it down and keep pushing forward. Jungkook curses loudly while he and Tae push through the mess on the ground. You see a clothing shop with a half-closed metal overhead door as you fall to the ground and slip under it to the other side.

The crawlspace was small enough for you, you’re confident Taehyung and Jungkook were going to have to pry it open (if they even could) to follow you. “Shit,” you hear Taehyung, “she went through here.”

“Move.” Jungkook reaches to yank at the door.

Your eyes widen in horror when you hear the door creak, showing signs that it would in fact be opening up more. You run to the back of the store, barreling in as you look around for a exit only to find that you’re in a simple storage room. There was no other exit, the mall in fact must not even have those backroom exits.

Your eyes tear up as you shakily back up into the wall with no other choice but to bring out your shotgun and aim it at the door. You hear nothing but your fast breathing and pounding heart in your ears. Any moment now… Your finger curled over the trigger as you bounced your knee in anticipation.

A beat passes before the door suddenly slams open, hitting the wall full force as Jungkook comes barreling in. You jump in absolute fear, aiming blindly as you pull the trigger. “Oh shit!” Taehyung yells, he doesn’t bother entering the room at first as he ducks to the side of the doorway after the bullet grazes the wall next to the doorway.

Jungkook yells something you can’t really make out through the ringing in your ears from the deafening noise. He wrestles the shotgun out of your hands, tossing it to the corner far away from you both. “Hey, hey,” he loudly curses, “calm down will you?!” He grunts.

Taehyung slips into the room and comes over to pin you down, “Shh, shh, we’re here now y/n,” he says as he leans down to nose along your shoulder and neck, “ ‘s safe with us.” He whispers in his deep baritone voice.

The fear combined with the stress (and adrenaline) of the situation sends you into a full blown panic attack. Your vision begins getting spotty and you feel like you’re on the verge of passing out. Probably from how malnourished you were given that the past few weeks you’ve been surviving on one granola bar every week.

You yell and twist around, loud sobs pouring from your lips as you thrash endlessly. “N-No! Please! Let me go,” you hiccup through your tears, “stop it,” the fight begins slowly draining out of you. They coo and murmur deceivingly sweet things in your ear, their hands roam all over your body while you lay there limp. “P..lease..” You quietly plead one last time before the world around you begins to fade.

“I’ve got you baby, don’t you worry. Never gonna let you outta my sight,” Taehyung whispers, “....s.afe..with us.” You manage to hear right before losing consciousness.

+

5 months later..

Everyday waking up felt more like a chore and the only time you ever found yourself looking forward to something was going to sleep. Sleeping was like some sort of escape from reality where you would find yourself dreaming of the day you reunite with your parents. Another dream you frequently had was you being back at your uncle’s farm living day by day in utter peace surrounded by the people you loved.

It was a pretty memory that would be ruined the moment you woke up to find either Taehyung or Jungkook over you.

They were like animals, they had no self control and acted like a bunch of hormonal teens around you. Taehyung especially, he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off nor his pants on. You lost track of the days inbetween sleeping or them fucking you like no tommorrow. Waking up sore between your legs or with cum dripping from your gaping pussy was a familiar feeling.

Taehyung was the more shameless one between the two. He’d fuck you almost every chance he got with his hands never straying from your body for more than two minutes whenever he was around you. He kept you chained in his room by the ankle on his bed wearing nothing but his shirt and those bear printed panties you came to hate. They were ruined the minute he’d lay with you, hand stuffed deep inside and his long slender fingers buried knuckle deep in your soaked pussy.

You hated that your body responded very well to his touches, hell you’d even slick up to the sound of him entering the room with the amount of times he fucked you or had his hands on you. Taehyung’s mouth was even filthier with the amount of shit he said in that husky tone whenever he had you pinned under him—knees pressed to your shoulders as he folded you in half and punched his cock deep inside your bruised cunt.

“Just needed a cock in you pretty, didn’t you,” he’d whisper while grinding his hips in slow circles with his cock rubbing up against every crevice of your pussy, his balls pressed tight against your ass as low squelching noises filled the quiet bedroom.

Jungkook was used to the sounds of the headboard banging or bed creaking against the wooden floor. He’d lay awake in his own room with a hand wrapped tight against his cock while he listened to you cry and mewl in pleasure. Other times he’d walk into the room just to see Taehyung balls deep in you with your legs spread wide and a string of white creaminess sticking to Taehyung’s pelvis and cock whenever he pulled out of your messy pussy.

At the moment you were curled into your side, balling up under the warm sheets as you tried to find more sleep. After a few more minutes of tossing and turning you begrudgingly accepted that you weren’t going to be getting any more sleep. Your puffy eyes cracked open as you stared over at the window. The curtains were closed but from the tiny corner you could see that it was night time already.

Taehyung and Jungkook had yet to come back, they said something about getting some things they needed from the mall. A tiny part of you wished they wouldn’t come back though. Maybe they’d be ambushed by those things and eaten alive (your biggest fantasy was them getting their cocks ripped off for what they’ve done to you). You could only dream, you sigh wistfully.

You sit up in bed and look around the dark room, there’s nothing much to do so you end up doodling in your sketchbook for a bit before laying back down just dreading the arrival of your captors. They get back around midnight, a little over an hour after you had woken up. Your eyes are slipped shut as you try to fall back asleep, and right when your body and mind both shut down the door is opened.

Taehyung comes in silently, humming under his breath as he sets some bags down on the ground. You don’t pay much attention, just curling into yourself with closed eyes while he goes about with whatever the hell he’s doing. The sound of Taehyung unbuckling his belt is enough to have your pussy throbbing, already slicking up for what’s about to come. He shuffles around and slips his shirt off, and then his pants.

The bed dips low and creaks under his weight when he climbs in next to you. You squeeze your eyes tight and try to breathe normally. Taehyung’s hand falls on your thigh and rubs over the soft skin slowly, each time going higher and higher until he’s playing with the waistband of your underwear. Your skin prickles all over with goosebumps as he quietly laughs under his breath.

“Look so pretty like this,” he mumbles while leaning in to hide his face in your neck, “bet your little pussy’s all wet for me too..” He dips his fingers in and slides them through your chubby folds, “Fuckin’ soaked—got you waiting for this cock huh?” He circles his fingers over your wet clit, “C’mon pretty, open up for me. Know you’re awake,” he rasps out and rubs faster.

You breathily sigh and fall into the bed pliantly while he plays with your clit between his long slender fingers. Taehyung slips his fingers between your dewy sticky folds, going right over your greedy hole. It clenches around nothing and you wait with a bated breath for him to slip them inside.

“Hear that baby?” Taehyung whispers as his lips slide over your neck and suck on a particular spot, “Messy little thing you are,” he comments while pressing his crotch over your ass and letting you feel the hard print of his swelling cock from inside his boxers, “don’t worry though—not gonna be empty for long, gonna fill you up and give it to you real good pretty.” He rasps out.

He rolls his hips in the tiniest of circles, letting out deep sighs and grunts while he plays with your pussy with one hand and the other grips your ass cheek. He squeezes the doughy cheek and pulls it apart to expose your puckered hole, “Gonna fuck you here too one day,” he rolls his hips more insistently, “gonna make all your pretty holes mine.”

You bite back a mewl when his thumb flicks over your clit in rapid sweeping motions, it has you grinding into his hand and simultaneously pushing back on his hard cock. You feel it slot between your cheeks—hot and throbbing—as it slides over the rim of your asshole. You weakly clench down on nothing, pussy pathetically spewing more slick and dribbling between your silky folds.

“One day,” he mutters, “not now.” Taehyung reaches up to steady you by the hip. You hear shuffling in the back as Taehyung kicks his boxers off, letting the dampened material fall to the ground. His hands are on you in a heartbeat, he racks the oversized shirt you’re wearing up around your waist and tugs at your panties with two fingers. “Open a little wider for me pretty—there you go, that’s it.” He purrs.

Taehyung wraps a hand around the back of your knee and holds it up as he lifts your leg into the air. You bite your lip and turn your face into the pillow to hide in, “Keep it up here for me,” he murmurs while letting go.

You can hear him fist his cock from behind you as he takes his cock and slaps it over your folds repeatedly. “Fuck,” he sighs almost dreamily while positioning the mushroomy tip at your clenched hole, “relax n let me in baby, good girl.” He murmurs while kicking his hips forward and pushing his cock into you.

Your lips part in a small ‘o’, no noise escaping as he fills you inch for inch with his heavy fat cock. This spooning position does nothing but make you aware just how big his cock is, you feel fucking stuffed and full of him with the rim of your pussy stretching a bit painfully to accommodate him. Taehyung releases a low growl and shoves himself into you impatiently. His hips smack against your ass with a loud squelch.

“Shit…” He sighs out like he’s relieved to be buried deep inside you, he shifts around and presses himself closer to you. You feel him drape himself over your back with his face buried in the junction of your neck and shoulder. He breathes your scent in and moans quietly while circling his hips slowly, cock shifting from side to side inside of you.

“God you feel so good,” he whispers as his hand grips your hip tight, “don’t think I’ll ever get used to fuckin’ this pussy.” He moans once more and presses in.

You double over and fist the pillow you’re laying on tightly, you can feel his hot thick balls press snug against your ass with each grind and thrust. Taehyung’s busy sucking marks into the back of your neck, he rolls his hips smoothly and occasionally bottoms out and presses into you deeply. His cock reemerges drenched in copious amounts of slick, the noise it makes is filthy as he pushes in deep.

“Shit, like that.” He moves faster, humping into you in quick little rolls as your cheeks smack against his pelvis repeatedly.

Your mouth opens and you quietly pant into the hot pillow, ears burning when you hear the squelching and the sound of his balls connecting to your ass from where they swing. Taehyung moans into your ear and slips his hand down your front to spread your pussy apart in a ‘V’ shape, “C’mon baby, play with yourself.” He huffs.

Most likely if you don’t do it he will so you slip your hand down and circle your clit with your fingers. You rub in circular motions, matching the speed of his thrusts. You can’t help the strangled moan that you let out because he pairs this with perfectly aimed thrusts, cockhead brushing over your g-spot repeatedly. The noises you held in begin spilling from your lips, you whimper and whine quietly while laying three fingers over your clit and rubbing side to side quickly.

“You gonna cum baby?” Taehyung gasps, “Can feel you getting tighter,” he grunts while smacking his hips into yours harder.

You throw your head back on his shoulder and gasp loudly when his cock bumps into your cervix. It hurts but the pain blends easily with the pleasure. Taehyung digs his fingernails into your side and tightly holds on to you while fucking into your pussy harshly. The slapping noises fill the entire room, the sheets shift and the bed rocks into the wall from the force of his thrusts.

“W-Wait,” you gasp breathlessly while your pussy squeezes tight, “fuck—Tae-hyung..!” A garbled cry escapes your lips as your pussy floods wetly, you cum with a high pitched cry while burying your face into his pillow—body shaking like a newborn lamb.

Taehyung hisses and quickly rolls his hips, driving his swollen cock into you over and over again like it’s the last time. He lands a tiny slap over your pussy causing you to cry out in oversensitivity. “Oh shit,” he gasps and slams into you three times before coming to a stop and riding the rest of his orgasm out with tiny grinds. He milks his cock out with a long sigh, pressing in to make sure none of it slips out.

You’re left laying there panting harshly while he warms his cock with your cunt. Only when his cock softens does he let it slip out with a nasty squelch. You can feel a sticky trail of slick and cum bubble between your folds, a small string still connected to his flaccid cock. “So messy,” he mutters while rolling out of bed to bring back a towel.

You stare at the wall with disoriented eyes and a wet ass/pussy.

The very next morning over breakfast Taehyung tells you about a surprise he has for you. You’re suspicious as hell but go along with it and wait patiently for him to give you his “gift”. Nothing good ever comes from him so you’re pretty sure this gift is something more for them than it is for you. When he pulls it out you mentally sigh, proven right.

“Aren’t these pretty?” Taehyung grins while showing off the pretty dresses, “I found ‘em in that store from last time and thought they’d look good on you.” He licks his lips, “Try ‘em on.” He’s not asking, he’s telling you.

You begrudgingly change into one, noting how short it is given that it ends right under your ass. You stand there and let out a deep sigh, “This is the worst..” You mutter while fixing the straps.

“You comin’ out yet pretty?” Taehyung calls out.

“Fucking hell, can’t you wait.” You angrily tug the dress down and unlock the door, “I’m going.” You roll your eyes and walk out of the hallway and to them.

Their eyes naturally shift lower, staring shamelessly as they lick their lips hungrily. “Fits like a glove.” Jungkook nods, “Do a little spin for me sweetheart,” he sits back and man spreads on the couch, “slowly.” His eyes drop down to your exposed thighs.

You slowly turn in a circle stopping when they ask you to. Taehyung whistles lowly while Jungkook hums in appreciation, “Maybe these pretty little dresses are the only thing you should wear around the house, makes you look like a pretty little housewife.” He chuckles.

“She does, doesn't she? If it were up to me she’d be my little housewife walking around with nothin’ underneath leaking with cum and a pussy stuffed full.” Taehyung’s eyes stay glued to your tits where they push against the dress, smushed together from how tight that area was.

“Pretty little thing was made for it.” Jungkook nods with a low hum. You’ve never felt less human.

That night, Jungkook brings you to his room and has you slip on another one of the dresses Taehyung got you. Except this one literally leaves your entire ass hanging out no matter how much you tug on it. It’s a silky dress embroidered with lace and frills, you know you’re not going to stand a chance. He’s already looking at you like he wants to eat you, he lays there with an arm behind his head on the bed, just ogling you in appreciation as you change.

It’s over the moment you turn around. Jungkook quite literally throws you on the bed and pins you down under his hard, heavy body. He wastes no time in pushing the dress up and pinning you with your knees touching your shoulders. His pace is frantic and hard, thighs smacking and balls smacking into you as he fucks like a madman.

The bed violently hits the wall and creaks loudly under the weight of you two. He really has you crying and screaming in pleasure from how rough he was with you. His own grunts and moans rising in volume to match yours. He fucks orgasm after orgasm out of you, each time hurting a little more from how sensitive you were. Your cunt’s rubbed raw, glistening with precum mixed with your slick as a ring of white forms around the base of Jungkook’s cock. Some of his creamy cum drips down between your ass cheeks and on to the rim of your puckered hole. It splatters a little when his balls collide with your ass, staining both him and the bed sheets.

The room’s hot, it stinks with sex as Jungkook fucks you over and over again on the bed. You mewl shakily and kick your dangling feet in the air when he rolls you two over the edge of the bed, your head hangs as he buries himself deep in your pussy and grinds in quick motions. Jungkook has either arm beside your head, caging you in as he watches your expressions with hooded eyes.

“Fuck.” Jungkook bites his lip and moves faster, “Look so goddamn perfect, gonna have this little cunt bred by the end of the night. You’d like that wouldn’t you baby—to be stuffed with my cum dripping?” He breathlessly asks, brow pinched in concentration as he rolls his hips.

When you don’t answer he lands a smack across your ass, tightly squeezing it in his hand afterwards. You mewl quietly and nod, “Answer me baby, wanna hear it from your sweet little lips.” He growls and lands another smack.

You hiccup and sob softly, “Y-Yes..! W-Wanna you to fill me up.” Your toes curl as you shudder when his cock hits your g-spot. All this movement and your head hanging quickly has you recoiling in dizziness as he jostles you.

Jungkook moves his hands and falls into you with your chest pressed to his. He wraps his hands around both of your ass cheeks and grips them tightly while pumping his cock in and out of you. Your thighs tremble in anticipation, cunt greedily swallowing him as low wet smacking noises begin to grow louder.

“Gonna cum sweetheart,” he rasps out with sweat dripping from his brow, “shit—so fuckin’ tight.” He shudders while leaning into you.

Your arms shakily wrap around his shoulders as you hug him tightly, sobbing when his pelvis glides over your clit and traps the sensitive bud between you and him. He fucks in quick thrusts, cock punching in and out of your creamy pussy. You lay there whining quietly as he uses you to get off. His moans turn breathier and quiet until he stops and goes silent.

His cock throbs and twitches, hot cum painting your pussy white as he empties himself in you. Jungkook lets out a ragged groan as he finally stops coming, he tiredly lays himself over you and pants, swallowing quietly as he tries to catch his breath. You didn’t cum again but you’re fine, it would have hurt anyway.

“Shit.” He mumbles as he rolls off of you lays side by side, staring up at the ceiling with his wet cock hanging out all bare without a single care in the world. You shakily roll to your side and curl up.

You knew these damn dresses were gonna be trouble..

+

Something’s off…very off.

For almost a week now you’ve been getting sick and throwing up meal after meal, maybe they were poisoning and finally putting you out of your misery. You wished.. You were sleeping way more than usual and everything just hurt more, even sex—not that it didn’t hurt before but suddenly your clit was too rubbed raw to touch and penetration was starting to hurt and ache? Something was very wrong and they knew it too.

“You think it’s the food?” Taehyung asks while sitting at the table with you and Jungkook, they often talk like you aren’t even there at times. “Or like maybe it’s the flu or something, been finding the window left open at night, could be that she got some air.”

Jungkook eyes you in worry, “I don’t think so Tae, she barely even has anything in her stomach to begin with and she keeps puking her guts out.” He sighs deeply, “y/n baby, how long has this been going on for hm? Weeks?”

You shrug and stare down at the hot food on your plate, “I dunno, not really hungry though.. Just wanna sleep.”

Taehyung frowns, “You need to eat something, wait—maybe she’s on her period or something and it’s probably hitting her really hard. Are you?” He turns to look at you as he waits patiently for your answer.

You open your mouth to say no but then sit there in shock, period.. When was the last time you even had one? Your heart begins pounding as you try to think back to your last cycle, sure you didn’t think about it too often but still it was something you kept track of so things didn’t get super messy in the middle of your travels. They call your name three times before you finally look up at them.

“I haven’t gotten a period.” You whispered, “Last I remember was I think a month ago, wait no I think two..” You begin shaking in your seat, this means one thing for sure.. You look up at them, they’re both sporting surprised looks but Taehyung’s face quickly morphs into one of excitement and happiness.

“So that means..” Taehyung grins, “ ‘s my baby,” he proudly claims, “must’ve knocked her up real good.” He chuckles quietly, dodging Jungkook’s hit, “What?? She’s the one who sleeps in my bed more than you! You’re just jealous it’s not your baby.” He smirks.

Jungkook sighs, “Tae, maybe instead of being so happy about knocking her up worry about her fuckin health.” He glares before turning to you with a soft look, “C’mere sweetheart, let’s get you something for your stomach yeah?” He stands and goes over to guide you into the kitchen, “Tae, run out and bring some pregnancy tests!”

“On it!”

You’re numb the entire time Jungkook talks to you about different meal options, his hand never leaves your waist and he occasionally strokes his thumb over your tummy. How could they be so happy knowing the circumstances behind the baby—or rather this parasite inside of you. Just thinking about the thing made you sicker, and quite frankly more angrier.

“Baby?” Jungkook looks at you in confusion, “I asked if you wanted to have some broth with crackers, it’ll be light on your stomach and will do good for the baby.” Baby… You looked down at your stomach and stared at it, so that’s where the little shit was. “Baby?” He cups your face in his hands.

“Anything is fine,” you mutter, “doesn’t matter now anyways, ‘m basically an incubator.” You glare.

Jungkook ignores your little aggressive comment, “Don’t be like that, ‘s not good for you or the baby. Gotta make sure you’re well fed mama,” he mumbles as he brings you closer, “gotta be a good mama for the baby alright?” He cups your tummy.

You feel frustration bubble up, “I don’t want this fucking parasite in me,” you seethe, “I didn’t ask to be pregnant, I didn’t ask for any of this! I would have been perfectly fine in Busan with my parents if you or Taehyung hadn’t bothered me!” You yell angrily, “Baby this, baby that—what about me?! I’m a human being! This is my life we’re talking about!” You shove his hands off of you.

Jungkook’s jaw clenches, “You’re just cranky and moody, understandable sweetheart,” he reaches over to grip you by the throat, “but let’s not get too over your head yeah? Is this all because of Busan? Throwin’ a fit like a goddamn child?” He glares.

“Yes! Exactly that Jungkook, I was doing so fucking fine before YOU or Taehyung.” Your eyes well with tears, “A-And now-now, I can’t even see my parents anymore because I’m stuck here everyday inside of a small ass apartment chained like a goddamn circus animal waiting to be used!” You sob hysterically, everything you’ve held in at this point just erupting.

You hate that he gives you a sympathetic look, he brings you into his arms and you’re too weak to fight against him, “Oh baby,” he rocks you side to side, “when will you understand that your place is with us, we keep you SAFE. We feed you don’t we? We protect you? What more are you asking for?” He says softly like he’s talking to a child or something.

“I-I want to see my mom and dad,” you hiccup, “wanna g-go to Busan ‘n make sure they’re alive ‘n healthy. Please!” You paw at his arms and cling to him like a child, “Please ‘s the only thing I’ll ever ask for!”

Jungkook stares down at you while you cry and beg, he gently rubs his hand over your back and hums, “I’ll talk to Tae about it,” he pulls back to look down at you, “but you have to take care of yourself for the baby’s sake.” He calmly says, “No ifs or buts, if you don’t we’re not going anywhere.”

You bite back the protest sitting on the tip of your tongue, “...Okay..” You mutter.

“Good girl,” Jungkook grins and ruffles your hair, “now go sit down, I’ll call you when the soup is ready.” He ushers you out.

Taehyung and Jungkook spend the entire night talking about it, you can hear them from the bedroom where you sit in pure excitement and hope. Jungkook argues that maybe it’s time to find a new settlement out there, he says something along the lines that raising the baby in the countryside is far better as the infected are less likely to populate rural areas. Taehyung argues that they’re fine altogether given the endless supplies nearby and the running water and electricity they have.

“Jungkook you’re not understanding, I’m gonna be a dad now and I can’t be having y/n walk for almost two months straight in this state. She won’t make it,” Taehyung sighs, “she’s fine here, safe and sound where she has water and heat to keep her warm at night.”

Jungkook releases a heavier sigh, “Tae, there’s a high risk of raiders and you know it. What if we’re out getting supplies one day and someone finds her and the baby? Then what? Or how about when the baby gets here you wanna keep them inside these four small ass walls for the rest of their lives? Is that what you think is best for the baby?”

You sit with a bated breath, waiting for Taehyung’s reply. You’re fucked if he says no, because Jungkook will NOT go anywhere unless Taehyung comes with. You feel your heart twist bitterly as you stare down at your hands, if Taehyung says no you really think you’ll resort to murder just to escape..

“Fine. We’ll go but if it’s far worse we’re heading straight back got it?” Taehyung grunts, “Can’t believe I’m agreeing to this shit.” He mutters while heading out to the patio.

You smile widely and lay back with your head turned to the window, admiring the bright moon, “Soon..” You quietly whisper to yourself.

Please wait for me..

+

The three of you set out one crisp Autumn morning, you almost forgot what the outside looked like given that you were only given the luxury of the windows in the apartment. Jungkook and Taehyung keep you close with a hand around your waist or wrapped around your own in a tight hold.

“Gotta cross that bridge to catch the highway that leads us into the countryside roads to Busan,” Jungkook says while reading the map, “from there I think we should be good and just keep walking straight.” He sighs as he folds the map back up.

Taehyung hums in acknowledgment as he reaches over to slip his arm around your waist and tug you close, “You good baby?” He asks softly, “Don’t want you overworking yourself.” He leans down to press a chaste kiss to your cheek.

You nod while looking around the area, “I’m fine, wanna go now.” You tug at his hand and follow after Jungkook. They try to make conversation with you but you’re fully locked in on one thing: Busan.

It takes up almost a day to make it to the bridge and get on the highway, luckily those things aren’t out in the open so the walk is much easier and stress free. You pass the time by admiring the plant life around you and remembering what once was when you come across clothing shops and closed restaurants.

The wind blows the flowy dress you’re wearing, you would have preferred something like jeans or whatever but they swapped out almost all of your clothes for dresses. You liked them and they were cute and all but this was something you would have liked to wear for yourself back at home and not for them.

“Look,” Taehyung stops in his tracks to bring you over to the bridge railing, “kinda looks nice yeah?” He smiles as the wind blows through his hair.

The three of you stand together watching the water below calmly moving in one direction, birds fly high over your heads and into the pink-ish sunset. You smile to yourself and nod, “I like it. Super nice.”

Jungkook leans his head over your shoulder and hums, “Pretty like you.” He comments to which you ignore. The three of you stay a little longer before Jungkook pats you gently on the back, “Alright, time to go. Gotta find somewhere before sundown.” He warns and takes your hand in his, leading you away from the peaceful sight.

You insist to them you’re more than fine walking through the dark with them but Taehyung’s absolutely not having it. He gives you one glare and you’re left to sulk in the dark quietly, begrudgingly following the two into a spot for the night somewhere off the road in the overgrown grass. Jungkook makes sure the area is clear before he lays out your sleeping bags on the ground.

“Calm down, Busan ain’t going nowhere sweetheart,” Jungkook comments when he sees how uneasy you are, “here lay down.” He pulls you in and tucks you into the warm sleeping bag, “All this walking won’t be any good on you,” he leaves the ‘or the baby’ out given your feelings about the pregnancy, “gotta have you well rested.” He mumbles and leans down to press a gentle kiss over your lips.

You stare at him with an incredulous look, you rather keep walking day and night if meant getting away from them two and reaching your parents quicker. Any more of this and you’re going to lose it, you grumble quietly and snuggle into the sleeping bag turned away from them. “Night.” You curtly reply.

“G’night pretty.”

.

Sleep comes fairly easy but you’re still a bit uncomfortable from laying on the cold hard ground. You spent at least a good hour tossing and turning before sleep took over and sent you into a state of peace. Though by now you knew that peace was never an option, not with these two on your ass half the time.

Your eyes flutter open in confusion, you take in your surroundings for a few seconds before realizing you’re flat on your back. You note the familiar weight sitting on top of you and the slick noises down below. “Hn?” You try to make out who it is but it’s difficult with their face buried in your neck.

“Awake pretty?” Taehyung whispers into your ear, “Was wondering when you were gonna wake up.” He runs his tongue over the shell of your ear with a low moan, “Sorry baby, couldn’t resist seeing you so pretty in the dresses we got you.” He slurs out, you notice he has a hand stuffed between the two of you with his heavy cock in his hand, “Had to have you,” he breathes out while laying his pelvis flat against yours, “feel that? You did that.”

His cock’s all slicked up and hot as it presses against your inner thigh. There’s no use in fighting back as you let your thighs fall open to accommodate him. Taehyung makes a pleased noise as he grinds his cock over your clothed pussy. It bumps and nudges against you which in turn makes your clit throb with excitement. You huff quietly and angle your hips low to see if his cock will bump into your clit again.

Taehyung’s cock slips and slides over your cunt, you begin to grow annoyed and reach down to shove your panties down. He eagerly helps you slide them off with the material getting stuck around your ankle. When he goes to spread you open with his fingers, you let out a pained cry and shove at his hand weakly. Your clit and hole were more sore than you thought.

“What is it baby?” He asks with worry etched onto his face.

You shake your head, “Hurts,” you reply softly and move his hand away, “don’t like it, it hurts.”

Taehyung moves his hand away from your cunt, “Won’t touch you there then baby,” he murmurs while kissing your lips as an apology.

You huff quietly and wiggle around with a pissy glare, “And now my back hurts too.” You shove at his chest and grumble, “Off, off.” Taehyung doesn’t budge, instead he lets you roll over on to your side to alleviate the pressure. Your eyes snap over to him when you feel his cock slip between your thighs.

“Shh..gonna use your pretty little thighs sweetheart.” Taehyung whispers as he rolls his hips slowly. You let your head drop back to the pillow with an annoyed huff, his cock occasionally brushes over your clit from where it sits snug against your pussy. Doesn’t hurt but it bothers you.

He quietly moans and pants under his breath while using your thighs to get off. His leaky cock leaves trails of pearly white cum smeared over your thighs and cunt. Some of it even gets your cheeks wet, making the heat you’re feeling more unbearable. “Can’t wait till you’re bigger pretty,” he whispers, “gonna look so good full of our baby.”

His hips snap upwards when he says that, “ ‘s like you were made to be bred,” he growls and reaches down to slip a hand into your dress, fondling and squeezing your tit in his hand, “got such pretty tits, look at ‘em,” he grunts while slapping one, “can’t wait till they’re leaking with milk.”

You shudder in disgust at the thought, you already felt like you weren’t in your own body, him talking about its upcoming changes has you gagging. You choose to ignore anything related to the pregnancy, closing your eyes and trying to block out his words.

“Oh fuck,” he shudders, “gonna always keep you full and swollen—gonna breed you over and over again pretty.” Taehyung rolls his hips faster and faster until he stops with a shaky sigh, cum shooting out in white ropes over you and the sleeping bag. He stays still for a few seconds before pulling his spent cock from between your thighs.

Great, he ruined your sleeping bag.

.

The air around you is hot despite the season being autumn. You trudge along behind Jungkook while toying with the sleeves of your hoodie which has long been discarded and tied around your waist. Jungkook says it’s only a matter of days before you’re all in Busan. You’re just relieved the gruesome trip is finally coming to an end and you probably won’t have to see them ever again.

Dealing with both Taehyung and Jungkook was slowly starting to work a nerve inside of you. As your pregnancy progressed so did the symptoms that came with it. Your back hurt like a bitch, your tits were sensitive, and your mood swings were very random. Everyday was a challenge with these two they just wouldn’t leave you alone and in peace. Not to mention the thing inside of you, it was the main source of all your headaches and morning sickness.

“There’s a gas station up ahead,” Taehyung points, “let’s head there to take a break, yeah? My fuckin’ feet are killing me.” He groans while adjusting his hold on the rifle in his hands. “And don’t start with me y/n, we all need a fucking break,” he shoots you a warning glance.

You kick a nearby rock and glare back, “I wasn’t going to say anything.” It comes out more snappier than usual, something about today just had every nerve in your body sending you into overdrive.

Taehyung shoots you a look, “You don’t have to, I can already feel you complaining about why we have to stop.” He mutters, “All you’ve done since we left Daegu. Not all of us wanna walk till the fucking sun starts to set.”

You whip around to give him a piece of your mind when Jungkook tugs you over to his side, “Tae,” Jungkook gives him a silent look before he turns his attention to you, “I just wanna rest in peace, so please let’s just keep our thoughts to ourselves and keep it moving. Fighting isn’t gonna get us there faster either.”

“Well maybe picking fights with a pregnant person isn’t so bright either.” You spit out angrily while walking faster.

Taehyung scoffs, “Oh so now you’re pulling the pregnant card? After all this time acting like the baby doesn’t even exist to you, I see you.”

You whip around and stop walking, “Because it doesn’t! This fucking parasite inside of me doesn’t exist to me and it never will. I never wanted it in the first place and now I’m stuck with it in MY body, so maybe that explains why I fuckin’ hate it and don’t talk about it!” You hiss.

The silence is deafening. Jungkook doesn’t seem so shocked you lashed out but Taehyung absolutely looks livid with the way you talked about the baby. You don’t care, if anything you’re smug because at least he knows you hate the thing. “If it were up to me,” you speak lowly, “I would have gotten rid of it the moment I found out.”

And with that you stomp off towards the gas station. “y/n! y/n get back here!” Taehyung yells but Jungkook says something along the lines of ‘let her be’. You huff angrily and throw the door open to the station, it’s dark and dusty as hell in there but you’re too angry to really care. “Who the fuck does he think he is?” You mutter while looking around for something edible, preferably chocolate.

As you’re looking up and down the aisles you hear a quiet thud. You briefly look up with a pinched look, “Probably one of those idiots.” You mutter quietly while going back to looking for candy. The noise gets louder and once again interrupts your search, “What the fuck.” You sigh in annoyance and look over at the backroom.

The door suddenly slams open and a mangled body comes barreling out, screeching loudly while flailing around and knocking things over. Your eyes widen and you drop the candy bar you had in your hands, “Oh shit.” You make a run for the door, head whipping back to see the zombie launch itself from the other side to you, its hands outstretched and swinging wildly.

“Jungkook! Taehyung!” You fall through the door and crawl away desperately as the thing wraps its hand around your ankle to yank you back, “Help me!” You sob and desperately kick at the thing.

Taehyung aims the rifle and shoots without hesitation, it takes at least two shots to keep the thing down. “Fuck are you okay?” Taehyung runs over to pull you up into his arms, “Did it bite you? Are you hurt?” He paws all over and inspects your body for any bites or wounds.

“I-I’m okay.” You quietly whisper and look back at the store, “I-I don’t know if t-there’s more in there.” A tiny sob bubbles up as you hide your face in his chest and grip his shirt tightly.

Taehyung looks over at Jungkook and silently nods, “Hey you’re okay, look at me,” he cups your face, “you’re fine, ‘s nothing we already got rid of it.” He whispers while brushing your hair out of your face. You weakly nod and stay close by while Jungkook checks for any more infected inside of the station.

Taehyung’s practically glued to you after that, and not that you want him close by but in a way he helps calm you down. Jungkook had quickly gathered food and water before the three of you set back out. The walk was silent save for the sounds of birds chirping and crickets hiding in the tall grass. Everything just feels so unreal right now as you still process your near death experience.

“I think we have to go that way,” Jungkook quietly says, “leads to the countryside—you said your parents lived away from the city right?” He says and stops in his tracks to look at you.

“Yeah.” You look at the map in his hands. “If I’m right we only have a good hour to go, farm’s not that far from here. I recognized the road cause my dad used to take me through here whenever we were going into the city.” You say while reading one of the familiar road signs.

Jungkook nods, “Lead the way then.”

The three of you walk through the dirt, passing by big farms and bus stations that definitely make you reminisce. You haven’t been here in so long it feels weird, you would have loved to come when things didn’t hit the fan and everything went into chaos. You can’t hide the anticipation on your face, it was practically eating at you.

Taehyung notices this because he reaches for your hand and holds it tight, “Any closer?”

“Yeah.” Your heart pounds in your chest, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for. You’re not so sure you’re prepared for what’s about to come. If your parents aren’t there—no, they are, you’re so sure of it. Something tells you they’re fine. You’re so excited you nearly barf.

You come to a stop when the three of you reach the wooden gate entrance, Jungkook is quick to open the latch and push the gate open. “y/n,” Jungkook calls out in surprise because you immediately start heading to the house. You ignore them and their calls, stumbling over your feet as you make your way to your home. Your eyes get watery from the swirl of emotions you’re feeling.

‘I did it.’ You run on to the porch and push the door open, “Mom! Dad! It’s me!” You call out loudly while heading into the living room, “Mom?” You look around frantically. Everything in the house looks untouched, the windows are open as the white curtains flutter with the wind. You feel your heart drop a few times here and there but you’re more excited than anything.

“Mom! Dad!” You head into another room and look around frantically. Nothing is out of place and the house looks well taken care of, so where were your parents? You take a seat on a chair, ignoring the sounds of Jungkook and Taehyung entering the house. Where were they..? You begin to tear up.

You catch a small white envelope sitting in the corner of the table. You reach over and your eyes widen when you see that it was addressed to you. With frantic hands you tear it open and begin reading, eager to find out where your parents could be. As you’re reading Taehyung comes into the room and leans over your shoulder with a curious look. You don’t even reprimand him for reading something that doesn’t concern him.

“..I knew you would come looking for us, it’s in your nature to be stubborn as hell like your mama,” Taehyung reads out loud as Jungkook pauses whatever the hell he was looking at, “we didn’t think you would be content with staying put, and if for whatever reason you find yourself here we’re gone. We’re safe if you must know, we’ve left to a settlement with others where we hopefully can rebuild the life we once had. When you’re ready come to us, you’ve made it this far kiddo I don’t think you’ll have trouble getting to us. For now rest, I assume you’re tired, we left the animals in the barn with food that is most likely gone by now, there’s preserved foods in the bunker below that we’ve been harvesting. Hope to see you soon,” Taehyung finishes.

Your hands shake as you read the date below—you were a week late.

“I guess that’s that.” Jungkook sighs.

“Farm doesn’t look so bad, I think we can run it, don't you think Kook?” Taehyung grins, “We can raise the baby out here without a worry, can even take some horses down to the nearby town when we need to.” He leans down to kiss your neck, “What do you say pretty?..”

+

Everything hurts—your spine, your back, your feet—you can’t stand it. The baby is bigger and it weighs down on your hips horribly. Some days you pretend it isn’t there but other days are harder given the sheer size of your belly and that thing kicking you.

With an annoyed huff you rip the blankets off of your body and get up with a low pained moan. You support your back with one hand while carefully walking across the wooden floor towards the front door. The cold metal bites into your ankle unforgivingly but you’re used to it already. You thought things would be different here but you guess you were wrong.

“Fuck,” you hiss when the baby kicks you in the rib, “just you fuckin’ wait you little shit,” you mutter while standing on the front porch watching Taehyung and Jungkook tend to the farm around.

Jungkook wipes the sweat off his brow and turns to smile at you, “Something wrong sweetheart?” He calls out.

Taehyung shoots you a grin, “Baby already bothering you pretty?” You want to reply ‘been bothering me’ so bad but you hold your tongue. Taehyung’s eyes drop down to the dress you’re wearing as he whistles lowly, “Well don’t you look pretty?” He smirks as he runs his tongue over his lip.

You find yourself staring at them—one day, you’ll find a way to leave even if you have to fight tooth and nail. You suppose the parasite inside of you can come if it’s not already out yet, or hell maybe you’ll leave it with them who knows.

But one thing is for sure: you were leaving one way or another.

TAGLIST: @fragmentof-indifference @jungkooksseuphoria @kooliv @angelarin @jjeonjjk7 @lilliankoo @pb-n-juju @ellesalazar @saweetspoiled @laylasbunbunny @prettyprincejk @cherrysainttt @hyunjinswifeee @joongraduatewithonor @hellbornsworld @leire-mia @m1sss1mp @lissful l @winkii @lifeless-firefly @taestoess @ayalies @floweryjeons @softtcurse @lilspinachwrld @tearyjjeon @littleobsessedkitty @lovelovelovebts @angeljmnie @rerefundslocals @bangtans-mama @thvhoe @maddkitt @tvse @ohjeon @teteswtnr @jkslovey12 @kelsyx33 @milfpo1ice @sluttydidi @ztyur @beomgyuult @shescharlie @sweet-sourhotcoco @lalita-7 @hazzzelsdimension @p34rluv @kook-net @bonita0-0 @vmapy @dahliadaenerys @gukiebaby @babycandy111 @looneybleus @ash07128 @gyukookswhore

[halloween m.list]

[kthulhu42]

Hey, can I try to prove to you that trans healthcare is safe, effective, and science based? And also maybe that being trans, for most people at least, is not something that is necessarily misogynistic? As a trans man who deals with chronic pain and several mental health issues, I may have perspective and arguments to offer that you haven't considered yet. I would also like to know better why people are advocating for more restrictions on trans healthcare (in order to understand why something I see as very good is seen by some as very evil). I completely understand if you don't want to argue with some random person on the Internet, but as someone who is affected by issues that you regularly talk about, I would like the chance to try and change your mind, or at least to hear your arguments in a clearer manner so I can understand why you advocate for what you do.

While I appreciate your offer to educate me, it's rather an impossibility. I'm not un-educated on the science involved. When my friend died, we were given the stats on the complications of phalloplasty by her surgeon. Necrosis was at 18%. Urinary incontinence was near *80%*. Revisions were "To be expected". How is constant infection and pain healthcare? If other cosmetic surgeries had the same complication and failure rates, would I be expected to accept those too?

I do not believe that you can change sex, and I do not believe in gendered souls that are so important that one must cut parts of their body to match it. As a - prior - mental health worker, I look at how we treat other instances of dysphoria and dysmorphia, and they're completely the opposite to how we treat Trans and GNC individuals. Why?

And then we come to the 4000% increase in teen girls identifying, and the internalised misogyny, the cult-like mentality of the TQ community, the sexism, erasure of women, and refusal of lesbian boundaries.

The issue starts and ends with the fact that you cannot change sex. Having any surgery at all, regardless of the visual effect, cannot change that. So why would I champion it? Why would I accept it, after watching the long, painful, drawn-out death of a friend who totally subscribed to this ideology?

Acceptance of the body, neutrality of the body, a disconnection of the pro-ana community, a focus on hobbies and works. That's how we help patients with severe body dysmorphia leading to anorexia. We don't give them liposuction. In fact, having anorexia - as I do - precludes you from accessing cosmetic surgery, because they know you're trying to achieve something impossible, that will only cause emotional distress.

Why does my body dysmorphia preclude me from surgery ( a much safer and less complex surgery than phallo or mastectomy)

While a Trans individuals dysmorphia means the complete opposite?

It's inconsistent medicine. It's dangerous medicine. And, due to recent laws in my country, even exploring the root of the dysphoria can be seen as anti-trans and can have detrimental effects on your career. How is it healthcare to deny doctors the ability to do their job?

[peterparkersnose]

Sucks to Suck

pairing: Din Djarin x senator!reader

word count: 2.7k

warnings: near death experience, sexual references, sexual thots, not smut but sensual i guess?, alcohol consumption and drunk reader, respect of consent, SEXUAL TENSION and description of weaponds and snakes, tiny bit of body dysmorphia, swearing, takes place in between S2 of the Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett

The Mandalorian Airs Tomorrow!

a/n you guys see my padme reference there? huh? enjoy the tension the not angst but angst i loved writing this (it is 1am help i started writing this at 10pm) the sighing gif is literally din giving into his intrusive thoughts this whole story it was too perfect not to use (also i make up star wars planets lmao wut) my favorite mandalorian fic of mine besides secret

summary Din is Senator Y/N’s bodyguard and helps her after an attack

masterlist

join the tag list

read time: 10 mins 1 seconds

The Mandalorian your father hired to protect you while you were visiting planet Elaeia was less than ideal.

The same one who also came back to accompany you to a senate meet where there was a threat made against your life.

And the same one that followed you around your whole beach vacation.

Somehow he turned in to an on call babysitter for you. Every time you saw him waiting outside your ship you began to loathe the trip. And soon, he began to show up around your house. Didn’t your father trust you? You were way past the age for need of a babysitter. You were a young adult, you could be the babysitter. And you were a damn senator. But as always, you sucked it up and tried to make the best of the situation.

“Don’t you ever get tired of the suit?” you asked, trudging up the stairs of your luxury apartment you rented for the week.

“Never.” Din lied. He couldn’t count the countless times he had wanted to rip it off and spent a night with you. Chills sent down his spine as he tried to think of something different to ease himself into the long week ahead.

But you were work. Your powerful father was paying him more than any bounty could. He needed the credits more than he needed you, right?

“What do you wear under there anyways?”

He hesitated to answer. “Clothes.”

“Really?” you asked sarcastically.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he muttered, almost barely enough for you to hear.

“Where are you going to crash tonight?” you asked him, placing your bag on the ottoman in front of your bed. “Not tired,” he lied again. The way he wanted to hold you in that comfortable bed was-

He had to stop his thoughts there.

“What time is it?” you asked him. “Around 7.”

“Shit! I’m going to be late.” you panicked. “I’m sorry, I thought we had some time to rest.” you apologized, knowing Din was exhausted from the trip.

The dress that was already hung in the closet for you was what you were going to wear to the banquet tonight. Without even caring, you opened your bag and pulled out the bra you were going to wear for the night. Without hesitation, Din stepped out of the room. Not today.

The dress was a deep blue and was form fitted. It jutted out at the bottom, complimenting your shape. It had long sleeves and a low neckline where your necklace was going to rest that night. You tied your hair up into a large bun with a braid around the base.

“Your train is here…” Din said, stepping in the room carefully. “Thank you. Wait- Mando?”

His heart skipped a beat when you said his nickname. You had known his name for a while, but he still enjoyed it when you called him Mando. Din was stunned at how you looked. I mean, you always looked good. But he could imagine standing next to you at the banquet in a suit, your arm draped over his and a ring on your finger.

The armor didn’t exist in that world.

“Yeah?” he asked. “Can you get this for me?” you asked, handing him the necklace you were going to wear that night. It was gold. Large and resembled tree roots. It was to sit along your chest and clip under your breasts along with behind your neck to stay put.

He handled the necklace carefully. His arms reached up and placed the necklace in front of you as his fingers trailed up the back to clasp the neck clasp.

“Dank farrik,” he sighed. His gloves were in the way of handling the tiny clasp. “Hold it for a second,” he told you. Din sighed as he made the decision. He slowly slipped off each glove and set them down on the bed.

You seemed to tense when his hands brushed your shoulders. You turned your head and saw his gloves sitting at the edge of your bed. The skin was cold and his hands were surprisingly soft.

Din hadn’t touched a woman with his bare hands well… ever. Sure he had brought in bounties who could identify as female. But nobody as elegant and beautiful as you. He would never forget the oddly intimate encounter.

“Thank you,” you said smoothly, adjusting the necklace around your ribcage. “You could call this more of a corset,” you huffed, smiling as you caught a glimpse of his skin as he slipped his gloves back on.

Standing in the mirror, you struggled getting the bottom clasp closed. You turned your body, trying to see if you had gained a bit of weight since you last wore this piece.

“Din,” you called sweetly, almost with a bit of song in your voice. He turned around on his heel as you saw from the mirror and it made you smile. “Yes?” he asked in the same tone you called him.

The way you called for him made him think about one of the rare memories he had of his parents. How one called out to the other. It was a brief moment but gave him deja vu when he heard you speak his name. Speak his name like a wife would call to her husband.

“It won’t-”

The sigh from his modulator was hard to miss.

“Can you help?” you asked, eyes looking up into his viser.

“I’ll hold them, don’t worry.” you smiled, your hands branching down lifting up your breasts.

Under the mask his eyes widened at the comment.

Din got down on his knees to try to get a better angle of the clasp. No other reason. He tried his best to focus on the clip but he couldn’t keep his eyes off the way you held yourself. Thank the gods for the viser, or he would have died of embarrassment.

“How’s it going?” you asked him. You could feel him struggling again with the gloves.

“What if I…”

You attempted to hold your breasts with one arm and had the other hand come down to help him, but the plan failed. Your boobs folded over on his hands without fail.

His hands quickly retreated from your ribcage. You noticed the stress in his demeanor, his breathing quickened.

You thought he was upset with you. Possibly disrespecting his creed, you felt horrible. Guilt knit tightly in your stomach as you knew you were going to think about this event the whole night. The embarrassment was enough for a lifetime.

Din couldn’t care less about his creed at the moment. He had never felt boobs before.

“Oh god! I am so sorry,” you said in horror.

“I can have someone at the banquet do it, let’s just forget-”

You were silenced by the sound of his gloves hitting the ground. Once again, his hands were at your service.

“Let’s get this done. We’re going to be late.” he said.

Grabbing the chain once again, he clasped it on the first try.

He escorted you to the train silently. He held one of your hands in his. The other hand held his pair of gloves.

Din hadn’t even notice you grabbed his hand. And to be honest, you didn’t really either. It was an instinct. Trains always freaked you out and he knew that. The gap between the ground and the train car, the speed they went at. Commercial trains were filled with unsuspecting people. Thankfully, the banquet event sent out personal trains for some of the local senators.

Finally you only noticed when he pulled away to put his gloves back on as you pulled closer to the event.

Had he really been holding your hand the whole time?

Meanwhile back at the apartment you had rented, you expected it to be empty. There was no need for a guard, you had only just arrived. Your location to be revealed to possible rebels wasn’t likely, you were stationed there for only a short time. A guard would follow you home along with Din.

You knew Din was capable of protecting you, he had every time. Something about a man in armor killing in your name just did something to you. But the uncertainty of almost everything about him made you push that idea to the back of your mind. And anyways, you were bound to marry for a political reason some day. It was coming eventually you assumed. Dates were never nearly as exciting as an adventure with Din.

The guard honestly was a joke at this point. It gave your advisors a piece of mind though, so you allowed it.

The seemingly empty apartment was carefully broken into. The sliding glass door from the balcony was opened, no fingerprints left and promptly shut as the rebel left.

Poisonous snakes were left slithering in your sheets.

It was something you would later recognize as a similar thing had happened to a senator many years ago. Poisonous bugs left to crawl in her bed.

Din walked you off the train platform and back to your apartment as quickly as he could. You, on the other hand, we’re being difficult.

“Don’t you ever take vacations?” you asked him, barely able to stand upright. He ignored your strange drunken question and kept holding on to you. “You didn’t answer meee!” you yelled, breaking free from his grasp and raising your hands to the air. The mist had accumulated from the oncoming storm.

“No. I don’t.” he sighed, grabbing your arm gently and guiding you back to the lobby with a hand placed on your lower back.

“Din,” you slurred, holding on to his armor in the elevator. Your fingers marched up his beskar chest plate as you asked him this.

“You ever had a girlfriend before?”

He blinked furiously under his helmet. What the fuck?

“Y/N, let’s get you to bed. Hm?”

“But Dinnn,”

“Come on,” he sighed, placing his hand on your back. The guard was stationed at the door. Din gave him a nod.

“I’m not sleepy!” you insisted, angered that you were being forced to end this wonderful night.

Din threw his gloves on the kitchen counter. He was getting sick of the things. After all these years in gloves, his hands never felt as uncomfortable and sweaty as they did that night.

“Here,” he sighed, steadying you by the shoulder and unclasping the clasp by your neck. The heavy necklace seemed to fall off yourself, only slightly catching at the waist.

“Thank you mister.” you said, letting it drop to the floor with a shake of your hips. Along with that you left your heels.

He saw you face dive into your bed and chuckled a bit as he was picking up after you. That necklace was probably worth more than the beskar he was wearing.

Din eyed up the couch, exhausted after watching you all night. He stood in the balcony of the event and watched you drink yourself almost to the point of embarrassment until he decided it was time for you to return home.

He had just began to settle in when he heard you scream.

It wasn’t like he had heard you scream before. He was used to all the rage screams when an article came out portraying you negatively. He was used to all the screams over the phone with your friends. He was used to the muffled screams he heard as he hid in his quarters when you would have dates over and prayed it would end.

But he would never forget this one.

He knocked over the vase on the coffee table, but didn’t really care.

The prolonged scream attracted the interest of the guard who busted in, spear ready.

Din had made it in the room first. He drew his blaster watched as you simultaneously chucked a snake in his direction. His blaster shot, killing the thing.

“Are you okay?” he asked, grabbing you immediately. You wrapped your arms around his neck and cried into his armor.

The guard ripped back the sheets and found three more slithering in the sheets. The sight of that made you shriek more.

Din’s hand ran across the back of your head. His fingers hadn’t felt hair like that in forever. His own locks didn’t match up to your softness.

The guard removed each snake and silently killed them.

“Cardillian Greybecks,” the guard sighed, now bagging the snake carcasses. “I’m going to bring these down to the base, are you two all right alone or should I call someone?”

“We’re fine.” Din said sternly, praying for the man to leave.

He calmed you enough to sit you back down on the edge of the bed. “Everything is okay. No more snakes, see?” he says, shaking out a blanket.

“Fuck,” you sighed, your hand running down the side of your leg. “You alright?” Din asked, shaking out the pillows just in case.

“I must have scratched my leg in the scuffle, it really fucking hurts.” you slurred, rubbing the side of your leg. Of course the alcohol was still there.

“Oh gods,” Din sighed, asking for your leg immediately. Laying back against the bed, you lifted your right leg in the air for him to inspect. If he wasn’t so worried he would have thought the pose was somewhat provocative.

“Shit,” he sighed. You were bitten.

“What?” you asked eagerly, pulling your leg back. He held on to it though, staring at the festering wound on your leg.

“It hurts. Please,” you begged, pulling your leg back. Din was scrambling on what to do.

“This…” he sighed, hating the only option available. There wasn’t enough time to get you to a proper medic.

“Hold still.”

He slowly lifted his helmet up to the bottom of his nose to reveal his mouth and chin.

“Din!” you yelled as his lips made contact with your skin. “What the-” you began, but immediately soothed as you felt the venom leaving your bite. A needy moan escaped from your lips.

Din spat out the first round of venom. It stung his lips. It wasn’t enough to kill him, it wasn’t in his bloodstream. It tasted bitter and artificial.

“Oh my god,” you whined as his lips continued to suck on the wound. “Din, holy fuck.” you moaned, squirming in his grasp.

Even though you just had been on the brink of death, this was one of the most sensual things you had ever experienced in your opinion. The thought of his lips teasing you drove you up the walls.

He spit out another round. “One more, I’m sorry.”

You gasped at his voice. No mask, no modulator. “Oh gods, don’t stop.” you begged. Your back arched as he took in the final round, finally tasting blood to indicate the venom was gone.

He spit it out on the ground and slipped his mask back on.

“What?” he asked out of breathe. He had convinced himself he didn’t just hear what he thought he did. His ears were muffled by the mask in its awkward position.

Sitting up in bed, you patted the mattress. He sat down.

“That was so hot,” you whispered near his ear.

He didn’t say anything to you. You had prayed he would rip off his mask and take you then and there. Din wanted the same thing too, he would feverishly re play this night over and over in his mind for years.

But you were wasted. And he had a creed.

Even though after each passing day without Grogu his allegiance to his creed drew weaker, he still had his limits.

Din knew you would regret those words in the morning. But the phrase Cara told him many moons ago rung in his brain.

“Drunk words are sober thoughts.”

“Talk to me when your sober.” he replied. He stood up and removed the base of the helmet once again. You embraced his body as he kissed you on the top of your head.

“Din,” you feverishly whispered. Without a second thought, you stood up. His body pushed against yours as you passionately kissed his lips. Your nose bumped the mask up more, but neither of you cared. His nose brushed against yours as you kept your eyes shut. The urge to look was strong, but you respected him too much to take a peek.

“One day,” he smiled, breaking the kiss. “Are you sure I can’t see more?” you asked. He shook his head as he pulled the mask down again. “One day,” he repeated, his voice now modulated again.

“Thank you for saving my life.” you said. “Any day,” he said sarcastically.

He placed the blankets securely over you.

The room was dim enough where he was sure if he was ever caught he would have an excuse. And you would lie for him, he was certain of it.

“Just one more thing-” you asked as his silhouette made its way through your door. He turned and looked at you.

“What color are your eyes?”

He had the widest smile on his face. The thought of you trying to form his face in your mind was almost comical for him.

“Brown. Good night, Cyare.”

“I knew they were brown, I knew it.” you whispered to yourself, convinced Din couldn’t hear.

He smiled as he retreated to the couch, unsure if sleep would visit him after his eventful night.

tag list:  @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25​ 

@peeta-is-useless @kirsteng42 @salliebley @bubsonnobx @lexloon @untitledarea @nyotamalfoy​ 

[chrollohearttags]

sweetest release • e. jaeger

“I touch myself just thinking of you…”

it’s never easy having a bad day, but your best friend is more than happy to help you get over it.

content + themes: phone/FaceTime sex, mutual/guided masturbation, fluff + angst, pillow humping, plus size, black!fem reader, praise kink, some sweet affirmations, slight mentions of body dysmorphia + sexual harassment and discrimination (racism and intersectionality are touched on too..yeah I got a little deep in this 😭) eren being the sweetest dom :(, squirting, crying from reader (not dacryphilia), cumshot

📝: and just so we’re clear, this is not me downplaying these topics or desecrating them for just sex. This was just something I wanted to touch on a bit because I was having this conversation with someone not too long ago and it’s based an audio I heard that just made me cry so yeah 🥹

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·. .·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·. .·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·. .·:*¨¨* ≈

“I told you, I’m fine. No need to worry about me, babyboy..promise.”

“You sure? Because I don’t think you are. You’ll feel better if you talk about it.”

“And bore you half to death with my stupid ass problems? I’d rather not.”

back and forth banter ensued in the now thirty minute conversation between (y/n) and the only person you’d allow to be on your line at this time of night..

“(Y/N), don’t ever say some stupid shit like that ever again. What do you think I’m here for?”

as you exited your bathroom, swaddled in a fluffy, warm towel and a bonnet atop your head, you’d listen to the sound of clicking buttons on the other end. Eren, your right hand and long time best friend was nearly fifty miles away back on campus at you guys’ university. Where he was a star basketball player. The two of you had just entered your sophomore year when you got offered an exciting opportunity to intern for your dream company…a marketing firm However, the one prerequisite was to relocate for a couple weeks. Which wasn’t exactly a bad thing; as you were provided pretty cozy living amenities in a five star hotel overlooking the beach but considering the fact that you didn’t necessarily get along with the rest of the potential recruits. You were feeling a bit down, especially after one of the other interns made a rather off comment about your ‘full, voluptuous figure’ and ‘giant afro’ in comparison to your very..thinner, paler cohorts and how it could be a distraction. Normally, you’d be quick to flash on someone but this wasn’t a chance you’d get again so you had to bite your tongue. Fortunately, the execs did not tolerate this outlandish commentary and sent his ass packing but you were still a little self conscious. Of course, you confided in Eren about this and he was pissed. Saying how he’d whoop dude’s ass if he was there and not to let his stupid remark get to you. But it made you feel cheap..as if your body and hair would deter you from doing your job!

“Listen, don’t let that dumbass make you feel bad about yourself. He’s gone now..hell, if you send me his address, I might pay him a little visit.” Winking into the camera, which you’d just shrug off because you knew he was serious! It wasn’t the first time he had beat someone’s ass in your honor and he’d do it time and again. Besides, he didn’t like the idea of somebody eyeing his girl. Whether you guys were dating or not, you were forever his. As he clicked away at his PlayStation controller, you continued getting ready for bed. Still sporting nothing more than that fluffy bath linen.

“…I wish I looked like everybody else sometimes..” The sudden declaration taking Eren off guard because he truly couldn’t understand as to why you’d feel that way all of a sudden. Granted, he wasn’t in your shoes and being objectified would make anyone uncomfortable but you had nothing to worry about anymore. Outside of that one incident, your trip had been a very positive experience. Everyone was super kind and no one else had even dared to make such a stupid comment. They were truly committed to making their future, potential employees feel welcomed and safe. Not to mention, you were beautiful..stunning. He told you that everyday. But that wasn’t the true reason you felt so down..

“Like, every time I feel good about myself or think I look good, somebody reminds me that I’m different..shit’s annoying, y’know? If it’s not my size, it’s my color. If it’s not my color, then it’s the way I speak or a fucking hairstyle. Can’t do anything right, I guess..I don’t know what to do, baby boy. I just want to be seen for my hard work and not my appearance. I can’t change who I am and I shouldn’t have to—“

by this point, you were feigning back some serious tears and Eren had heard quite enough of this! He couldn’t believe that the girl he first met in choir class his freshman year of high school..the one he nearly stared a hole through because he thought you were so pretty was even considering that you were anything less than perfect. The same one that saw his little nerdy ass and befriended him without a second thought. You guys had come a long way in your roller coaster of a relationship but too far for him to sit here and let you sit here and talk about yourself like this. Understandably, he’d never be able to walk a day in your shoes or understand your hardships, navigating this life as a woman with your skin tone or body type but he wanted you to feel as if this was your world and everyone else on this bitch was just living in it. None of that ever mattered to him, he wasn’t raised like that and it infuriated him that people were so ignorant! It wasn’t a topic that you guys avoided either. If he was going to be in your life, he wanted to truly hear everything you went through. From people that looked like him down to the guys that looked like you, everyone had an opinion or negative thought. You were over it. He may not have been there physically but he was going to be with you..mind, body and spirit to help you. And he had just the plan.

“(Y/N)…lay down.”

the sudden shift in his voice and tone catching you slightly off guard, so much so, you’d ask him to repeat his rather off request.

“What are you talking—“

“Just lay down and please don’t argue with me. I promise this isn’t another one of my stupid jokes.”

you had no idea what it was he was planning but alas, you followed his command regardless. Slowly, you’d crawl on to the bed and lie flat on your back. By now, your phone was lying on the night stand and you couldn’t see him but you could hear your best friend’s voice loud and clear. Which was more than enough for what he had planned. And indicative of his tone, he was pretty serious about whatever scheme was circulating his mind.

“I’m laying down, just like you said..now what?” And nothing could truly prepare you for what was about to transpire but he promised he was going to make you feel ten times better..

“Good, so close your eyes for a second and just take a couple deep breaths…you’re so tense right now, I can feel it from here.”

and he was right! Your jaw was clenched tight enough to shatter your teeth into tiny pieces. So you’d do as he asked and take in a deep breath before exhaling. Repeating the same step three times until you felt that tension ease up a bit. Just as you went to get up, he’d command you right back down, telling you that this little makeshift therapy session was far from finished. “Just listen to me for a second..I know it’s hard going through what you do. People are assholes, what else can I say? It pisses me off, it always has and trust me, I’d fight the whole world for you if I could make it go away but I can’t..and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, pretty girl. I’m sorry they don’t see your worth. But I don’t ever want to hear you think any less of yourself just because they’re too fucking stupid to see past their own prejudice.”

you guys weren’t exactly expecting this conversation to become so deep and intense but now that it was, he wanted you to focus on pouring that energy back into yourself. To stop thinking about people who were committed to misunderstanding you and only worry about yourself. It was all about his precious (y/n) right now. Just then, you began to sniffle a bit and your face flushed with holding back from crying but this was only beginning.

“Ren..”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything right now. I just want you to feel good. Only tears I wanna see are the ones of joy, alright?”

his next order was for you to truly get in tune with your own body. Let all of those emotions out and not bottle them up as you had done so many times before. As you lied there, hands folded across your stomach and eyes shut, still clothed in that towel, he’d ask you to slowly remove it and unfold it to either side..rendering you nude. He couldn’t see you at the moment, but if he were there right now..he’d give you the sweetest kisses. Starting at your lips, down your neck and even to your thighs…he’d peck you all over so gently whilst rubbing your soft, gorgeous skin and tell you how beautiful you were..that he loved every inch of you and everything about you. But he’d settle for doing it vicariously.

“Take your hands and just feel down your body for a second..it sounds weird but try it. Real slow..don’t even look. Just touch yourself.” and not in a sexual way either..he had quite the reason for this as well. One you had never truly thought of. “I used to struggle with the way I looked for a long time. It seemed like no matter what I did, I’d never get bigger. Even when I worked out, I was still small. Turns out, I had a lot of growing up to do..and a lot of vegetables to eat.” Prompting you both to laugh. “But I realized that even if I done all of that to change how I looked on the outside..if I felt the same about myself on the inside, there was no point. So as corny as the shit sounds, being comfortable in your own skin is the key.”

everything he was saying was beginning to make sense and the tension in your body was starting to dissolve..slowly, you’d caress your skin..from those supple breasts, pudgy tummy and down to your thick thighs..feeling every line, bump and curve and falling deeper in love with it as the seconds passed. That quiver in your lip turned to a smile. That slight tremble in you turned to complete relaxation and your mind went to a place of tranquility. One where you imagined Eren hovering above you right now with his hands on your hips as he kissed below your bellybutton. On your mound and all..but he didn’t want you thinking that far yet.

“Do you feel yourself, baby? How beautiful you are?…how soft your skin is?…that body is perfect. It goes through so much..so many things me and no other man could ever imagine but it’s still perfect.” his words, voice and all so soothing and alluring. Like a giant, comforting hug after a long day. Exhaling softly, you’d continue touching all over your body, in no specific direction at all but that was about to change. “Mhmmm. I can feel it.” “Yeah? Well, I wanna hear you say it..I wanna hear you say how beautiful you are. Tell me right now.” you’d repeat the words back to him as he called out the cadence. “I’m beautiful..my body is beautiful.” “That’s right. And you’re so in love with yourself that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks because you look in the mirror and you see perfection. You see someone God took his time on. A work of art. You’re priceless..” his affirmations were about to make you burst into full blown sobbing yet again but you’d hold it together, repeating everything he said just as he instructed. He could tell you these things all day long but until you truly said it, believed and felt it yourself, you’d never overcome that hurdle. So a few seconds later, he’d ask you to cup your breasts..groping those soft tits in your palms and soft pinching your nipples, you awaited his next move. You’d shift the phone so that you could see him but he requested that you keep your eyes closed. The sole point was to solely be in tune with yourself right now..

“There you go..rub on your titties for me.” it may have sounded as if he was gassing you for no reason but every word he spoke, he meant it. “You know many people would pay for what you have? You’re so fucking fine, baby. You have no idea.” He knew many girls that would constantly ask him who did his best friend’s surgery because you were so thick and stacked. Saying that you were like a goddess..and he agreed. He would kiss the ground you walked on if it was allowed! And of course, he’d ask you to tell him what you loved about your body, and even if it seems redundant, it was necessary. The more you spoke it into existence, the more you’d believe them. Suddenly, he’d tear you began to whimper and moan, thinking of how cute you looked. Squirming on that bed, especially when he began to fill your head with all of the desires he had as well. “Those pretty little nipples too…you always liked having them played with too. I wish I was there to kiss them, lick them…” his voice so sensual and loving as always when he spoke to you. He had this nature about him that made you so easily submit..

“So you’re gonna do it f’r me. Gonna touch yourself wherever I say, right?” “Mhmph! Yeah..”

he couldn’t help but to smile at your sudden falter in voice as the sensitively of those buds increased and your experienced your first pang of pleasure. He wanted you to absorb all of those sweet things he said to you…internalize them and never forget who you were. Carefully eyeing you, his phone angled from an upright position where you could see his abs and handsome face. “Good girl..now run that hand down your stomach..just feel on it. How soft it is. It’s my favorite part of you, honestly. I love when you let me kiss on it. Lay my head on it when you come over..” He was so pleased to see you following his command and letting him take control. He wanted to completely reset your mind. Just then, Eren would shuffle in his seat and watch as your tongue spilled from between your lips. “P-play with me, ‘Ren. Wanna see you too..” and of course, he was elated to join in. Wiggling his hips, he’d work them down until his lower half was exposed and his cock sprang out, slapping against his bellybutton. He’d cup his shaft and run his fingers along the veiny part, which made him suck his teeth.

“See what you do to me, pretty girl? ‘M so hard just thinking about you. Nobody else makes me feel like that.”

slowly, he began to stroke himself..all whilst trying to maintain that dominion. But the more he imagined doing these acts, the less disciplined he became but for you? He pulled himself together. He still had far more to dote on you about. “Tell me, pretty girl. How do you feel right now? Be honest with me.” Checking in as he kept massaging himself and stealing glances as you squeezed, touched and admired your own flesh. “I’m good…feeling so much better.” “I’m so glad, baby. That’s all I wanna hear..all I—ahh shit.” Becoming one with yourself was some of the best advice you’d ever received. You’d begin to feel faint twitching between your thighs, prompting you to brush against a pillow you had meshed between them. Eren would definitely notice and grant you permission to grind on it, chuckling.. “Go ahead, baby..rub your clit against that pillow. Anything to make yourself feel good right now…this is all about you. Don’t hold back for me or anyone else.” and like a helpless pup, you’d rut your hips into that silk lined linen and bite down on your thumb as you pictured him down there, flicking his tongue against your wetness and eating you out slowly. Hiding your face into your palm, you’d work yourself over and try to feign those expressions.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to be ashamed of it…you deserve this. You work so hard and God, I’m so proud of you, (y/n). My babygirl always handles her business, stays on her shit..I’m so in love with you. Not just for the way you look but your mind, your soul..it’s all so beautiful..you deserve all the love, the care…to be given everything you want, baby.” in combination with those sweet words and your clit being massaged, (y/n) began to work yourself into a tizzy; pleasured senseless and drooling as that orgasm began to build in the pit of that plump little tummy; which collided with the pillow. Still pinching those nipples and whining out, you’d cry out for Eren, begging him to keep encouraging you. To give you those instructions and what to do next…alas, he’d keep thrusting up into his own enclosed fist and release a chorus of sexy grunts.

“I’d give you everything you want. The type of love making you deserve. I’d let you know how beautiful you are while I’m fucking you slow. The type of deep strokes you love so much. The ones where you’re digging in my back..calling me daddy and telling me not to stop. They’re my favorite too, baby..I’ll fuck you just like that when you come home.” he was so vocal, outright letting you know exactly how he felt. And there wasn’t a single doubt that he was bluffing. He was obsessed with you! Literally so infatuated that he wanted nothing more than to be with you right now. To hold you close and protect you from anyone who thought you were less than amazing. Those dimmed green eyes focused on you as he tried to ward off the urge to come right now. He had to get you there before he could..but first…“You’re so close now though…I know you wanna come. Let all that stress out but I need you to do one last thing for me, okay? Flip over..” and without hesitation, you’d roll over onto your back, still clutching that pillow between your fingers and legs, holding onto it as you were afraid if you halted that friction, you’d combust right now. However, he knew exactly what you needed for that final push. You’d spread your legs wide open, massaging that overstimulated center for as long you could withstand and suddenly, you’d find yourself writhing atop those crisp sheets.

“I can’t let you come until I hear you say it..until you tell me that you love yourself as much as I do.”

and just then, all of those positive comments and self love he forced you to pour back into your own psyche plagued your mind. They deeper in and you came to the realization he had been waiting for you to reach. Exhaling and gasping sharply, (y/n)‘s back arched and you clutched the sheets, crying out his name as you neared that peak even further. “I-I love myself. I love myself so much! Oh my gosh!…” in that moment, Eren flashed a warm smile, and praised you for your resilience. “Good girl…now, same time..”

right on the brink of climatic bliss, you rubbed until you could no longer hold back and simultaneously, the two of you released all of that tension and built up arousal. A flood of juices splattering the mattress and a flood of emotions hitting you like a truck. Like a tightly wrapped bow..a spring coiled too high..you let it all go and it felt..

“So good…so fucking good! Shit…”

just then, Eren would glance over, still strumming out and playing with strings of his own nut to see you in full blown hysterics. Crying those sweet tears of joy he had hoped for and he was equally as happy. “Good, baby. That’s all I need to hear. I don’t ever want you hurting..feeling bad about yourself. Not as long as I’m around.��

and you knew it to be true, especially after tonight. Something told you, you would never have to worry about a bad day or clouds over your head with an amazing man like him in your life.

“As long as you keep letting me love you, pretty girl.”

[spiderfreedom]

my suffering is profound and legitimate, yours is frivolous nonsense

Just reading a blogger I like but I had to laugh because she was talking about how beauty practices are bad for women's mental health, and she left a note saying "unlike gender affirming care! gender affirming care improves people's mental health and it's nothing at all like cosmetic practices."

TIL, when an older woman gets botox to remove her wrinkles and avoid facing the inevitability of decline and death, her problem is spiritual/structural and she needs to Do The Work to deprogram her ageism, unlike people with dysphoria, who of course have legitimate claims to cosmetic alteration.

And it is cosmetic - no part of the body that is altered by HRT or SRS or any of the feminization/masculinization surgeries is failing to function or functioning poorly. The problem is with the brain, which perceives the body parts as foreign or undesirable. We may sympathize with someone struggling with such a condition, but that does not change that the body parts being altered were already healthy and the alterations are cosmetic, and the relief being brought about is mental.

But plenty of trans people openly admit that separating body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria is a losing game. Contrapoints's video on "Beauty" (transcript) has the observation that she feels least dysphoric when she is meeting feminine beauty norms:

But I also think that trans people often talk like gender dysphoria is this intrinsic, personal experience that's always 100% valid and never has anything at all to do with the external pressure of beauty standards. But in fact, gender dysphoria is not sealed away in a vacuum away from the influence of societal ideals and norms.  [...] When I try to psychoanalyze myself, I find that my desires to look female, to look feminine, and to look beautiful are not exactly the same, but they're woven together so tightly that it's kind of difficult to untangle them. And the opposite is also true, that for me feeling mannish or dysphoric usually goes along with feeling ugly. I don't have a lot of days where I walk out the house thinking "well, I'm giving femme queen realness, but apart from that I look like absolute shit". 

Max Robinson's book "Detransition," from an FTM perspective, points out how the prospective trans man views his suffering as unique from and distinct from women's, even as the surgeries they seek are not especially different:

The stereotypical cosmetic surgery patient is seeking to become closer to being perfectly feminine - she wants to be beautiful. Transitional cosmetic surgery, on the other hand, is widely understood to mark the patient as ex-female and therefore unfemale; this is part of the meaning FTMs seek to create through surgery. FTM desire for cosmetic surgery is positioned as something totally different than the stereotype of a woman who 'merely' seeks beauty at her frivolous leisure. FTMs are deemed to have a rare affliction that needs urgent, life-saving treatment. Conversely, there is nothing more common than for a woman to become obsessed with her socially-deemed 'unsatisfactory' looks and desperately seek to change them, believing that such a change is the only thing that can restore her quality of life. This comparison will feel like an insult to the FTM. It will feel that way because we believe other women's suffering doesn't matter, and recognize how much ours does. Women's suffering is ordinary but ours is extraordinary. For us to matter, we must be differentiated from the silly little woman who wants to be pretty so badly she'll pay thousands of dollars (now billable to credit cards and loan programs designed to pay for elective surgeries!) to risk her life and health. These women don't need to be fixed; we do. FTMs know that we don't deserve a woman's fate but have not yet realized that no woman does.

I have more to write on the topic of the relationship between gender identity and beauty culture, but I'll end this one here. It makes sense that somebody who is identified with the opposite sex would also be affected by the standards of beauty expected of that sex. (Non-binary identification is more complicated and requires separate treatment.)

[wildgeese98]

I wish I could dig up the post from very early on, I think when only a few eps were out, where someone was taking about the concepts of body, mind, and spirit in alchemy and how the three season of Protocol might follow this, with season 1 being body.

The op of that post explains it way better and in more detail and I think they were spot on. I wish I could remember who posted it.

Almost every episode so far has had some element that ties back to the physical body, with several hitting on the theme of accepting physical harm in exchange for something.

Ep. 1: a grotesque reanimated corpse and implied eye related body horror

Ep. 2: body dysmorphia, full on body horror, introduction of ink5oul who seems to effect people by tattooing their bodies

Ep. 3: body horror transformation

Ep. 4: violin that requires the player to maim himself or others in exchange for success.

Ep. 6: Needles, a monster who uses his body to kill

Ep. 8: the mirror world people in the tower trying to eat the guy alive and him jumping resulting in severe bodily harm

Ep. 9: much of the bad luck from the dice seemed to manifest as physical injury, especially the particularly gruesome death of dice guy's friend.

Ep. 11: moving old corpses, return of Ink5oul and tattoos with strange powers

Ep. 12: just a straight up massive amount of gore, as well as whatever body horror type deal Bonzo himself has going on.

Ep. 13: fiance bro severely physically harming himself for money.

The physical body seems to be a general theme running through the season so far. Again is wish I could find that post because it talked about how this might relate back to alchemy. If anyone remembers and can find that post send it to me please!

[cait-with-luv]

Little Leopard [4]

"If it weren't for seven men that fateful night you wouldn't be here now. They showed you good people did exist. That life can be great, that you can be loved and cared for. These seven men were the men you loved and cherished. These men were your mates. Your safety blanket. And to them. You were their Little Leopard."

Header Credit: Me

Pairing: OT7 X Hybrid!Reader

Genre: Hybrid! AU, Strangers to Lovers! AU, Rich!BTS, Fluff, Angst, eventual smut, Polyamorous!BTS

Warnings: Mentions of murder, abuse, sexual assault, drugs, PTSD, explicit language, body dysmorphia, anxiety, body branding (Not sure if this is a warning but putting it anyway)

Word Count: 5.1K

PREV | NEXT

-------

“We need to talk.”

The boys pause and look at each other before Seokjin is clearing his throat and gestures to Namjoon to speak first but he holds his hand up and shakes his head. It seemed they all had things to discuss. 

“You guys should go first. We have a lot to explain.” Namjoon urges his eldest boyfriend, leaning back into the couch, smiling slightly as Jungkook takes his hand into his and squeezes it reassuringly. He could see how stressed his partner was. They could all see it. They couldn’t blame him either, he had been working day and night along with Yoongi and Hoseok to try and find you in the system and find the cruel human that had left you to die in the alley and they were constantly reaching dead ends. It was like you didn’t even exist.

“Well, I’m taking her with me to the clinic tomorrow, if anyone is free you can come with me, I don’t know how she’ll react in a medical environment, I need to do a full physical checkup. Whilst we were out, we took her to get a collar so she can come out with us more often and I asked if she needed anything else, she picked up heat suppressants, she was forced to have them every day, we explained to her how bad they were and when I asked when her last heat was, guys she hasn’t had one for around two to three years, it’s dangerous, Leopards are meant to have heats every two to three months. If she’ll ever have one again is beyond me and if she does get one, it’s going to be intense, most likely more painful too. I have to check she’s physically doing okay.” Seokjin delineates watching their faces harden. The system had really failed you.

“I’ll go with you. I’m working from home tomorrow anyway, I have things to do away from the station.” Hoseok says and runs a hand through his hair, he was already in a bad mood. The things that had been revealed today had sent the usually calm and collected man into a spiral of anger and disappointment.

“You guys aren’t going to like what we have to tell you…” Yoongi trails off shaking his head, he couldn’t believe what they had found, how they managed for it to slip through the cracks. He was ashamed. He felt like he needed to do better. Because who knows how many more had managed to be missed.

“We did more background searching on her. We couldn’t find her at all in the system, so we were beginning to assume she was illegally being ‘owned’, Hobi came to help out and we had to dig really deep. We eventually managed to find her documents she was under a false name and under Snow Leopard instead of her actual hybrid breed an Amur Leopard. Meaning someone in the protection company had either been paid off to turn a blind eye or worked for the person but when we went to check her owners' files we discovered that he’s deceased, he died three years ago, cause of death was homicide so Hobi did a little digging into it but it means he was not her last owner, someone else had taken her, possibly the one who killed her last ‘owner’.” Namjoon frowns and Hoseok reaches into his bag for the file and hands it to Taehyung who begins to read it, Jimin and Seokjin reading over his shoulders.

“Yun Jong-Dae, aged forty at the time of his death, his autopsy had shown that he had strangulation, gunshot wounds, a disturbing amount of ketamine in him, enough to kill an elephant, any one of these could have been the cause, someone really wanted him dead but the case went cold, they couldn’t find who killed him. He had a criminal record too. Gang affiliation, abuse, sexual assault, drug use and possession, attempted murder. He was a terrible person. I found receipts of multiple reports made to his house too. Neighbors had called us concerned, saying they constantly heard yelling and screams coming from his house but the officers that went to the scene did nothing saying they saw nothing suspicious. I checked which officers went to the address and every single one was from my division. She was in that fucking house and my station failed her. I am now in the process of checking every incident they’ve been reported to and having them suspended.” Hoseok fumes, jaw clenched in rage. He could have had you saved earlier if it weren’t for his own colleagues turning a blind eye.

“Y-You don’t think he you know…” Jimin murmurs anxiously. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, the word left a bitter taste in his mouth, it made him nauseous to think about you having to suffer like that.

“As much as we want to think that he didn’t the chances that he did…assault her is likely. We can’t make her tell us either alright? She may tell us one day. We go at her pace okay?” Yoongi declares, he did not want you to feel like you had to do anything. He wants you to know you can make all your own choices from here on out.

They all nod in agreement and sit in silence, taking in everything that had been revealed, they were all filled with rage, guilt, and shame. For a while, you had been right under their noses and they hadn’t had a clue. 

It was progress, finding out more about your background, they knew that but they also knew they still had a lot more to go. It was not going to be an easy process and it was going to be tedious but for you? They had all the patience in the world.

“Where do we go from here? What’s our next step? Because she’s basically a stray hybrid right? She’s now isn’t legally under anyone so we can adopt her? It will secure her safety with us and prevent her from being put back into the system and going through hell again. I can have the papers easily by tomorrow.” Taehyung says closing the file and handing it back to Hoseok.

“Technically yes but we can just have her sign papers Tae baby, we want her to have her own opinion on this and consent. We want to give her options not take them away from her like has had all her life. This is something we need to sit down with her and talk about and we don’t know what the process is going to be like for her, she could be put in a shelter for observations and for our pending papers to be approved.” Namjoon sighs but Taehyung shakes his head.

“It won’t be a difficult process, I can have us down as her foster home so she’ll still be able to stay with us until the papers are approved, she isn’t under a shelter, she has no owner, they can’t place her in a place she wasn’t at the beginning with. The process will be simple but I understand where you’re coming from, we want her approval before we start it.” Taehyung clarifies with a nod of his head. Yoongi opens his mouth to talk but closes it, the conversation coming to an end suddenly as they hear you walk down the stairs, giving you a soft smile as you step into the living room timidly. 

“Hey Cub, did you have a nice shower? You even got some new pajamas? You look much comfier now.” Yoongi grins, almost cooing at the sight of you clutching your tail in your hands, shuffling in your spot shyly as you nod curtly, a low chuckle leaving his mouth. You were too cute. 

“Want me to brush your hair and put it up for you Sweetpea?” Hoseok asks softly, patting the empty spot beside him for you to sit. 

“I-It’s okay Hoseok, thank you though, is it okay if I go to bed instead of watching a movie? I-I didn’t realize how tired I was.” You whisper immediately getting smiles at you and nods. How could they tell you no? You were too sweet.

“Of course, you can go to bed Princess, you don’t have to ask, we can always watch a movie another day, there’s plenty of time to, sleep well okay? Remember if you need anything at all you can always come to us.” Namjoon cooed, giving you a dimpled smile that almost had your knees going weak. It was one of the prettiest smiles you had seen. They all murmur soft goodnights and sleep wells until Jungkook stands up and pouts at you,

“Hey, Sweet Girl, I promised I’d help you with your skincare routine and how to use the things I got you, you gotta take care of it now, Baby, come on let’s go get you properly ready for bed.”

—

“Hey, Jungkookie?” You hum as he helps with your skincare routine with the products he had gotten you before at the mall. You had figured out that you had sensitive skin just like him so he had bought you some products that he uses to help protect and soothe his own skin so now after your shower, he was helping you apply them, demanding that you have to take care of your skin so you don’t have sore skin. 

He smiles softly at the nickname, gently applying a toner onto your face and almost cooing at your innocent eyes staring at him curiously, watching his every move wondering what he was doing. He sometimes wondered how on earth you were a leopard hybrid. You were more like a kitten or a rabbit.

“Yes, Sweet Girl?” He asks with a smile on his face, raising an eyebrow at your hesitation to continue with what you wanted to say. He pats your head as a reassurance that you could talk to him without worrying, nodding as you open your mouth to speak.

“What do you all do for a living?” You ask quietly, noticing the look of surprise on his face, he hadn’t expected you to ask about their careers but he was willing to answer. If it meant getting you to open up to them more and gaining your trust more then he’d answer. It wasn’t like they had anything to hide anyway.

“Well, we all work in different things but we all work together in a way if that makes sense? Our jobs link us together. Not really mine but sometimes. Namjoonie Hyung and Yoongi Hyung work together the most. Namjoon is the founder and CEO of a Hybrid Protection company and Yoongi is the deputy CEO. They help any and every hybrid who needs it, whether they be a stray, from an abusive home, fight rings, auctions, literally anything. They make sure that no matter where the hybrid comes from they are safe and get everything they need. I guess sometimes I help out if they have too much on their hands." He begins smiling slightly. He was always proud of what his partners do, he places aside the products before focusing his attention on you and continuing, 

"Hobi Hyung is a detective in the police force. He works on all kinds of cases. He likes to mostly solve hybrid-related cases, knowing that other stations can usually turn them down and go for human ones. He wants them to get given justice just as equally as humans do. Jin Hyung is a Hybrid Medical Doctor. He treats all Hybrids' injuries and any illnesses they may have, he wants to save and care for as many hybrids as he can, it breaks his heart if he can’t. Tae Tae is a Hybrid Representative Lawyer. He basically supports any Hybrid in court and stuff like that, whether it be a change in adoption, abuse cases, or all sorts. Jiminie owns his own Hybrid Shelter. So he takes in any abandoned, stray, recently removed from abusive homes, even abandoned hybrid infants and children. He gives them a home they may have never gotten, and treatments for anything from medical or mentally, they have a choice of wanting to stay and live there or have a chance to have another home. He is so thorough with checking every single person’s background who comes in wanting to adopt. He’s very protective of them all.” Jungkook explains chuckling as you stare at him in awe, they were doing something barely anyone would do.

They all work with something related to hybrids. Wanting to protect them and give them more rights. Live an equal life as humans, to end the oppression and stigmas against Hybrids. Activists in a way. But you frown when you realize something. He had left himself out. He told you everything about his partners but not about himself.

“Well…what about you Jungkook? What do you do?” You ask as he sits in front of you and sighs giving you a small smile, taking your hands into his, and looking down at them. Was he uncomfortable about talking about his career? 

“Mine’s…a bit more boring than theirs, Sweet girl. I don’t wanna bore you.” He says looking back up at you but you shake your head at him with a pout.

“Nothing about you is boring Jungkookie.” You murmur, a blush coming to your cheeks when you realize what you had said out loud, purring when Jungkook pecks your forehead and smiles at you in appreciation.

“Thank you, baby, that was kind of you. I’m…a hybrid tattoo artist. Yeah I know it's not as extravagant as the others huh? I was just an average tattoo artist just tattooing humans but when I worked in a studio we had so many hybrid’s coming in wanting tattoos and my boss would just…turn them away. But they weren’t coming for a tattoo for the fun of it. They were coming in to cover up something that reminded them of their past. Like a bad scar or tattoo of their number they were given from fight rings or even brandings. I felt like it was unfair, they just wanted a fresh start and they weren’t getting a chance to do that so I left and I opened my own studio for Hybrids. I don’t charge them anything so I don’t really get much profit, I get some humans from time to time and they pay because they want to keep my business running but I refuse to charge a Hybrid for wanting to cover up something traumatic to them. I know it’s not much but if it makes a difference for them to live a happier life, to show them that there are humans that care for them then I’m happy and hopefully I’ve somewhat of a difference.” He murmurs and your heart swells. His job was anything but boring, he had a job that would make a massive impact on a hybrid's life. 

“That’s…the kindest thing I’ve ever heard Jungkookie. What all of you do. It’s amazing, I’ve never met anyone who cares so much about us, it’s special and I think I speak for all hybrids when I say this. Thank you. For being our voice…for being the ones to protect us and make us feel…normal. You should be proud of what you do. I may not be the greatest at expressing my emotions or understanding the simplest of things but if it weren’t for you guys. I would have had no future, I wouldn’t be able to have my eyes opened to the good in the world. I’m very very grateful and I promise to work hard on my healing and become a person you can be proud of.” You say shyly looking down, feeling your heart race.

Jungkook stared at you with a pout on his lips, squeezing your hands and taking a deep breath in. It was taking everything in him to not cry. It was the first time you had openly spoken about how you were comfortable living with them and how grateful you were for everything that they do for you. The first time he had heard someone really thank him and the boys for what they do. It only motivated him more. To give you a better life. To give hybrids around the world a better life. 

“Thank you so much Y/N, I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that. But, Sweet Girl, you don’t need to thank us for what we do for you. It’s the right thing to do. And I don’t think you understand how proud of you we are already, you’re doing so well. I know how difficult it must have been for you to trust us after everything you’ve been through, it must have been scary. You are so strong and brave. The bravest person I know. You have a future now and it’s only going to get better from here on out.” Jungkook says, gently lifting your head to look at him and he gives you a look of admiration. Proud written all over his and with all your courage you quickly place a kiss on his cheek, both of your eyes going wide and cheeks flushing red. It took him by surprise but his heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t expecting it but now he wanted more. It felt like a warm hug. Like a dew-freckled petal caught in a breeze, so soft and with the smallest hint of coolness. He will never forget this moment. This was a memory to remember.

“W-What was that for?” He stammers out and you shift in your spot and shrug, a shy giggle leaving your lips. He could have passed out right then and there, his heart was in frenzy. He couldn’t how adorable you were. It was too much. 

“I…I don’t know…it just felt right to do? I’m sorry d-did I overstep?” You murmur nervously and he shakes his head quickly, a massive grin appearing on his face. He looked lovestruck. Like a teenage boy with a massive crush on his classmate. And he was beginning to feel like one. He loved six people already, and his heart had already felt full but now…now he realizes there was room for just one more person.

“You didn’t overstep baby, just nearly made my heart explode that’s all with how cute you are.” He teases making you laugh and shake your head at him before your thoughts begin to trail remembering that his job was tattooing. Specifically Hybrids. You had something you wanted gone. Something you may not be able to really see yourself but you knew it was there. Would he help you get rid of it one day?

“Actually Jungkook…you’re a tattoo artist, c-could…c-could you cover something for me one day? W-When I’m ready?” You ask, feeling your heart race with fear and insecurity. You were about to let him step into your past. Not much but it was enough to have you terrified. What would he think? 

He frowns but nods slowly, noting your hesitation. He had seen many of your scars but there must be one prominent one that played on your mind a lot, one that he may have not seen but it worried me. Just how bad was it to have you practically trembling with fear? He could almost feel the anxiety coming off you.

“Sweet girl, it’s okay, you don’t have to be afraid, I will never judge you, you don’t even have to show me it yet or even tell me how you got it. I’m not going to make you, everything you do is at your own pace, not ours.” He reassures but you shake your head, taking a deep breath. You need to do this. This was something that you needed to get off your chest no matter how much it reminded you of your past. This was part of healing right? Overcoming the trauma.

“I need to do this. I’ve got to. I want to overcome this.” You murmur before slowly turning around so your back was facing him and biting your cheek to hold back the tears already welling up in your eyes, slowly lifting your shirt up to show him your back, shutting your eyes as you hear his breath hitch and the smell of anger hit your nose. This was one thing you hated. How you could sense pheromone changes. Jungkook’s once soft linen and lavender scent now smelt burnt and sour. The scent overwhelming your sensitive nose with how strong it was.

Jungkook was relieved you couldn’t see his face though. His face contorted from concern, to worry and lastly anger. Rage. People made him sick. He felt ashamed that he was human. Because all they know how to do in the world is oppress, and discriminate. Hurt others. Hurt Hybrids. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from it. The branding on your left shoulder blade will forever be imprinted in his mind. How the skin was slightly risen and horribly scarred. He can’t imagine the pain you suffered from it. From getting it to the healing. It must have been excruciating. He could tell it must have suffered an infection at some point from how poorly healed it was. His stomach churned as he leans closer and just about manages to read it. 

‘Property of Kang Seo-Jun’’

“Baby…W-Was this who you were stuck with previously?” Jungkook whispers, feeling tears well up in his eyes. No wonder why you wanted it gone. He would no doubt cover it for you. Decorating your shoulder with something so pretty and bright, you’ll forget that it was even a cover-up for it. Not a single memory of it in your mind again. Completely erased.

“Y-Yeah. It i-is. You must be disgusted right? I am. H-He took away any of my belonging. The l-little ownership I had of myself. I will never forget him. H-He haunts my dreams every night. I feel like I can hear his voice still sometimes. He was by far the worst owner I had. T-The night he took me, he had some of his men pin me down and burnt it onto my skin. T-The pain was unbearable. I-I still feel it sometimes if I think about it long enough. H-He hurt me so much. H-He enjoyed my pain. H-He did s-so much but I’m not ready to open up about it yet. He l-laughed as he did it. Called me his ‘little bitch’, and all I was to him w-was a punching bag for his entertainment and pleasure. I-I really wanted to die. I really thought h-he was going to kill me eventually. I-I can’t go back there Jungkook. I can’t. H-He really will make sure I’m dead. I was meant to die that night.” You sob covering your face, whimpering as Jungkook lifts the shirt up again that you had let go of and soothingly rubs up and down your spine, his heart aching at how your tail sadly flicks slightly. From hearing how much you really had been through even if it was just the surface. 

“Oh sweet girl, you are safe now. We will never let anyone hurt you again. He will never come near you again and he will be punished for this. Soon he will be a distant memory. Someone completely irrelevant to you. He has taken nothing from you. You are your own person. You have your very much-deserved freedom now, baby. Everything he may have ever told you is nothing but horrible lies. I am so so sorry you had to endure this and everything else you have gone through. You are so beautiful in your own unique way. I am not disgusted by you and neither are the boys. You will never experience anything like this again. You did so well telling me a little bit about your past. I’m so proud of you. You were so brave. Everything is going to be okay now. I promise you. I swear to you.” He says so softly, hesitating before placing a gentle kiss on your scar before pulling back and a small smile appearing at your little shudder from feeling his lips on your skin but it wasn’t from being uncomfortable, Jungkook knew it wasn’t from the way you relaxed. 

You say nothing, too in shock from the gentle kiss he placed, from how you managed to open up and how he never interrupted you, just sat and listened to you, and then reassured you he was proud of you and was not disgusted in you. You had never felt this way before. You couldn’t put your finger on it. You didn’t know what this emotion was but you hoped that in the future you would understand it. Know what it was because it felt warm, strong yet comforting. It had your heart racing but in a good way. And you wanted to feel more of it.

“I hate to ask this but can I take a photo of this Sweet girl? Don’t panic, it’s okay, it’s just because this will be evidence baby. Against him. It will help Hobi hyung in finding him and having evidence against him to get him arrested and locked up. It will help Taehyungie in court for you. That’s all. We want to get you justice.” He elucidates when he feels you tense. You didn’t want the others to know but you knew if you wanted to feel completely safe, he needed to be prosecuted. They need to know to make it happen so you nod curtly, swallowing the lump in your throat but the nod wasn’t enough for Jungkook. He needed vocal consent.

“Words Sweet Girl. I need to hear your consent, not just a visual one. Verbal consent is very important in this home baby.” He murmurs, nodding in approval as he hears you whisper an ‘okay’ before quickly snapping a photo and checking it and quickly turning his phone off and throwing it aside, and turning you around to finally face him, wiping the tears that slid down your cheeks.

“Permission to hold you in my arms?” He asks, brushing hair out your face before gently tugging you into his arms as you nod and begin to move into his lap. You tuck your head into the crook of his neck as he wraps his arms around tightly and sways side to side, biting back a chuckle as you begin to subconsciously scent him, rubbing your head into his neck, a low happy purr leaving your lips. He felt so content and happy. You were finally listening to your animal instincts and relieving any urge you may have had but never realized. The more you got comfortable with them, the more your leopard came out. And with that, you finally lulled to sleep. The quickest you had ever fallen asleep. The safest you had ever felt to fall asleep. 

Not a single thought in mind.

—

“Kang Seo-Jun”

“Huh?”

“She opened up to me a little. The sick bastard that left her in that alley, his name is Kang Seo-Jun.” Jungkook grits out, opening his phone and going to his gallery, clicking on the photo he had taken and practically shoving his phone into Hoseok’s face.

“This is what she showed me, I got permission from her of course to take the photo. We’ve really underestimated how much she’s been through guys. We knew it was severe but I never imagined the actual extent.” He whimpers sitting down and holding his head in his hands. He wanted to break down in front of you but he knew he couldn’t, not when you were in tears yourself reliving the memories, he had to be strong for you but now, he could let it out.

“Can I send this to myself love bug? I need this evidence.” Hoseok breathes out, he could feel the anger boiling the longer he stared at the photo, quickly sending it to himself when he gets a silent nod from Jungkook and passing the phone to Yoongi and so on, each of their faces contorting to undeniable rage. 

“Kookie talk to us, what did she tell you? How did you manage to get her to open up to you?” Yoongi asks faintly, he could visibly see the distress the boy was in. He didn’t want to tip him off the edge. Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat before looking up and begins to explain to them how you had asked about what they all do career-wise, telling them how you thanked them all for what they do and how your body language had changed as you asked him to cover up the branding when you were ready which lead you to show him and telling him how you got it. By the time he had finished, he had tears falling, Hoseok was on the phone immediately demanding his colleagues to send him any information on the demented man. They were all having internal battles with their anger. Their sadness.

“Hyungs…s-she’s suffered so much. I-I just know she hasn’t even scratched the surface of her past. She deserved none of this. S-She’s too good for this world.” Jungkook sniffles, snuggling into Jimin as the older man tugs him into a hug, cradling the younger boy close and kissing the top of his head.

“She’s safe now baby, she will suffer no more. You did good. We are proud of you for how you handled it, and how you got her to open up without pushing her. It shows us how comfortable she’s getting. She felt safe to tell you. You took good care of her, well done Koo.” Taehyung reassures, snuggling into the other side of the younger boy, rubbing his arm encouragingly. It was no secret between them all that Jungkook was the most sensitive to Hybrid cruelty, having witnessed it at a young age, he understands how severe how bad it can get. He had such a big heart and they do everything they can to protect it.

“He’s right, you did great, Hoseok is going to find out everything he can on the bastard and bring him down with Taehyung, he isn’t going to get away with it, Y/N will get the justice she deserves at last. His karma is coming and it’s us. He will suffer for what he’s done.” Yoongi sneers, he could happily track him down right now and punish him for everything he’s done. He couldn’t wait to watch the twisted crook pay for his crimes. They were a step closer to finding him. A step closer to you finally having justice, and peace of mind that your trauma wasn’t for nothing. 

You were their little leopard and they’d do anything for you.

-------

Taglist

@sunoosult @pb-n-juju @kimsaerom @tinyoonsblog @mintyoonjisworld @malewife-supremacy @army4eve3r @mageprincess7 @dreamamubarak @ot7nem @haleypearce @yoongiigolden @driftapart @carolinexkpop @koobratzy @devilsadvcte @colourlyhobbit @toughbook @ah2002 @beeeee06 @euphoriayongbok @bbgniecyy @kurowvie @jaiuneamesolitaiire @rich-man-v @bangtanxberm @murkydoesnotloveyou @cheychey-4788 @atinygracie @echo-ethe @yo-alli @blancflms @jamlessstars @theblueslytherin @rosquilleta @slash4slashers @chieftoadturkeynickel @m4r1eluvr @rainbow-bunny-bts @thedarkwinterrose @anjoellamorte @cath-fach @welcometomyworld13 @djodjom1 @sugarrush-blush

[hoeforhao]

Chipmunk Cheeks 🍥🧁🍡🍧|| Joshua Oneshot ||

ꔫ pairing: husband!joshua × wife!reader

ꔫ summary: your arranged husband takes care of you in your period pain.

ꔫ genre: pure fluff,mentions of blood and pain, reader sort of has body dysmorphia

ꔫ series: svt as boyfriends

ꔫ author's note: walking into the traffic if i don't find myself a joshua hong cuz am dying from period cramps atm!!

Masterlist

Marriage was never on your book of life and wouldn't ever be your cup of ale. Did your parents know this since the very beginning? Yes! Yet they absolutely went out of their capacity to defy your choices and arrange your betrothal to none other than the Hong Joshua.

Mrs Hong was your mother's colleague, more specifically her best gossip buddy. They were literally known as the gadgets of their office. And when both the women saw that their little ones are getting old with no potential chance of finding their partners by themselves, they settled upon the dreaded agreement.

All your pleas about not wanting to get married to someone you have barely had three to four conversations with, someone whose entire personality, preferences literally everything was unknown to you, were completely left unheard by your parents. Apparently they wanted their daughter to have a "secured future". Literal BULLSHIT.

The most terrifying day of your life was just two weeks ago and here you lay whimpering in pain on the bed of someone you've barely spoken to or looked at since the wedding.

"What a nice time for you to pay your visit, you bastard" you internally curse at your periods.

Yes you're basically dying from period cramps. You didn't know where the nearby medical shop was around here neither did you've the energy to go downstairs and get yourself a hot pack. You were quite literally awaiting your death from organ crumbling pain in your ''husband's room". Too dramatic for just period cramps? Yes! But why react to anything normally when you've the option to absolutely lose your mind over it.

You were so damn lost in your nonsense rantings to the walls of your room, that you failed to register joshua being back from work already.

Finding the house engulfed in absolute silence made his nerves falter for a moment. Usually it would either be filled with loud tv noises of you watching cinnamoroll on the couch or clanking of the utensils as you baked yourself another new dessert recipe.

He quickly throws his coat over the armrest and hops towards your room with those little bunny legs of his ; only to find you completely curled up like a boba ball under the blankets as small painful moans echoed through the walls.

"Y/n, w-what's wrong?" you jolt up from your little coocon as Joshua's warm hands grazes against your forehead.

"Are you okay? You don't seem to have a fever. Did you've a bad day? Did anyone make you cry? Are you missing your parents? If so let's go to their place right now" he grabs your arm gently to pull you out of the bed.

"Would you let me answer or just assume things by yourself Josh!" you unwrap your hands from his while literally burning holes into his face.

"Y-yeah sorry. I was just wo- umm worried." his face hangs low from embarrassment or maybe even a bit of hurt? Not being able to understand what's bothering his wife.

"It's okay. I was j-just having really bad p-period cramps" your face now starts turning crimson, not because talking about periods with a man makes you uncomfortable but because it was h-him...your 'arranged husband'.

"Oh my god Y/n why didn't you call me!!!! I would've run back home from office immediately and brought you treats. Did you eat anything? Where is your hotbag!! Goddamn girl why aren't you taking care of yourself" you wonder if joshua participated in speed talking competitions earlier judging his ability to blurt out sentences without a single pause.

"Calm down Mr Bunny Teeth!!! It's nothing special. I've these every month. The pain will ease out gradually." you nod at him trying to reassure the man that you're infact, not dying.

"No no no way you can talk this so lightly!!! What if you burst from the pain huh! I can't clean up a bloody mess. Hell No" Joshua's last remarks ends up earning him a hard smack from you, making both you chuckle lightly. Dang your husband was even more dramatic than you!

"No seriously tho, you need to take care and pamper yourself during these days. Wait I'll get you some treats" he stands up from the end of your bed to leave towards the kitchen when your arms grabs his from the back.

"I-i don't e-eat sweets or rather I umm can't" your face droops low trying to fight the stray tear making its way onto your lap.

Joshua turns towards you in a swish and bends down to the floor, not caring about bruising his knees on the cold marble; both of his palms reaching to cup your cheeks.

"Why y/n?" a two word sentence was enough to make you break down into a crying mess.

"I - i was a-always told that I'm f-fat and s-so i stopped e-eating my favorite food w-which was s-sweets" you were talking like a five year old, words mixed up with your sobbing and face stained with snot and tears at the same time.

Joshua's firm hands gently grazed over your face as he wiped the mess off of it with his satin white shirt, while the other refused to leave your cheeks.

"You will eat as many sweets as you want love, as you buckets of ice cream you wanna feast on. And I'll be sitting right here infront of you so that each time you think about stopping yourself because of what the world thinks, your face will be planted with a kiss." you've turned completely red by the choice of his last word, the pain in your belly now mixed with a tingling sensation.

"You are perfect the way you're y/n! I can't even imagine a single milligram of you leaving this world. Like omg just think what a great loss will this universe face then!!! I want to see you eat to your heart's content, enjoy each and every meal. Do you even know how bright that smile of your glares when you munch on your food like a happy raccoon, cheeks stuffed up like a smol little chipmunk."

"S-shua you-"

"Sshh! No more words love. Sit here 'til I bring all the food from downstairs and then we'll sit together and watch sanrio, okay chipmunk?" Joshua's slender fingers draw against your lips, sending a flutter of butterflies all over your bones.

Sitting on the bed like an obedient wife you wait for him to arrange a literal feast of sweet treats infront of you, alongside tucking you into the duvet with the hot bag on your belly, making a literal cinnamon roll out of you ; wrapping his arms around your shoulders as your head now rests on his, taking in the sweet scent of his lilac cologne as you two draw yourselves into solace while watching tv together.

"Marriage isn't that scary afterall"

[kit-walk3r]

I’m Not Me (Kyle Spencer x fem!reader)

Kyle opens up to you about his insecurities with his new body.

Warnings: sort of body dysmorphia, brief mentions of sexual abuse by a parent

Note: can be read as a companion to Together Not Forever and it’s alternate ending or separately. I always wondered how Kyle would actually feel about being made up of his dead friends’ body parts and was inspired by the scene where he finds the tattoos on his body.

Ever since the two of you had reunited you and Kyle were on the path of getting to know each other again. Kyle’s memory was still a little shaky, he had trouble remembering certain things and he would often get frustrated if he couldn’t recall something from your past. You were still trying to get used to this new version of Kyle, who was a little more tense and easily frustrated than he was prior to his death. Basically, the two of you were trying to move past the differences and reach a new sense of normality, but new issues would keep arising.

Prior to the bus crash you and Kyle were frequently intimate with each other. It took a while for the two of you to reach that point (due to his issues with his mother) but once you did it was a very passionate relationship. But since the two of you were reunited? Not so much.

It wasn’t necessarily an issue for you, you had Kyle back and that was the biggest blessing of them all, but a part of you did miss the warmth and the love and the passion you often felt when the two of you were together.

You and Kyle had been getting closer, however. Physically. At first it was just a reconnection of memories, the two of you would sit together and talk for hours, going over all the tiniest details of your relationship to properly refresh Kyle’s memory. It took a while for you to just kiss again, you not wanting to push Kyle further than needed and Kyle also fearing overstepping. But once you shared your first kiss since Kyle’s resurrection the two of you were soon finding it difficult to stop.

One afternoon you were attempting to help Kyle with his reading (since he still struggled with it) and that difficulty was soon apparent but the book he was studying was discarded and the two of you were back to being attached at the mouth yet again. You kissed Kyle heatedly, and from the intensity in which Kyle was responding you presumed that he was ready to take things a little further.

Your hand gripped the hem of Kyle’s black sweater and you tugged, gesturing that you wanted him to take it off. However, instead of pulling it off over his head like he had done many times in the past he pulled back from you and turned his body away.

Your face mirrored confusion at Kyle’s actions, wondering what had happened for Kyle to be distant again. You thought things were going well, he was just as passionate as you were moments ago.

Then you realised.

His mom.

Zoe had told you about how she had taken Kyle back to his mom when he was first revived and that something happened there and he bludgeoned her to death. Zoe didn’t know what happened, but you had a pretty good idea and it made you feel sick. You knew all about Kyle’s mom and the abuse she liked to inflict on her son, and you could only imagine what she had done to Kyle to make him react so violently.

Your hands shot back away from Kyle as if you were burned and your eyes widened. “Kyle, I’m so sorry,” you immediately apologised, feeling guilty. You knew what Kyle went through with his mom and you still tried to push things forward without discussing it with him first. You felt awful. “Your mom… I forgot… I’m so sorry.”

Kyle reached out and grasped your hands in his own, rubbing his thumb over the back of them to try and soothe you. “Y/N, it’s okay,” he said reassuringly. “It’s not you, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he paused for a moment. “And it’s not her.”

You felt yourself relax in Kyle’s grip. “What do you mean?” You asked softly. “Are you okay?”

No response.

“Kyle?”

Kyle let out a shaky breath. “I’m not… me,” he finally said.

Confusion filled you. “What do you mean?”

“My body,” Kyle looked down at himself. “I’m not me.”

You were still confused. You didn’t know much about Kyle’s resurrection. You’d seen the scars around his neck, you knew that he was sewn back together, but that was the extent of your knowledge. Zoe didn’t say much about the process, but honestly you never asked. The idea of witchcraft was new to you and still creeped you out, and you hated the idea of your boyfriend being dead and in pieces. You’d rather not think about that part.

It was as if Kyle could sense your confusion, because he continued to speak. “I’m a mess. A mash-up of different parts. I’m not how you remember me.” To prove it, Kyle rolled up his sweater sleeve to reveal a small four leaf clover tattoo on the inside of his forearm.

You felt sick as the realisation of what Kyle meant by ‘I’m not me’ dawned on you. Kyle had no tattoos, you knew this. Yet there one was, clear as day against the pale skin. And you recognised that tattoo. You’d been there when he’d got it, having tagged along on their little trip to the tattoo parlour at Kyle’s invitation. That wasn’t Kyle’s arm. That was his frat brother’s arm.

“Oh my god,” you couldn’t help the tiny gasp and Kyle quickly pulled his sleeve back down at the noise.

Kyle sniffled and you looked up to see his dark eyes filled with tears. “I’m them,” he mumbled, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater.

Your sickness was replaced with anger. When they stitched Kyle back together they didn’t even use his true body. That was sick, disgusting. It was as if they were trying to build him into something better. Kyle was perfect the way he was, he didn’t need bigger biceps or a more muscular chest or to even be taller. It disheartened you that those girls who remade him thought he needed the physical change. There was nothing wrong with him, he didn’t need ‘improving’.

“I’m not me anymore,” Kyle continued. “They changed me. When they put me back together they didn’t use me, they used them,” he pulled up one of the legs of his jeans to reveal the black markings of a Chinese symbol. In your head you could hear the laughter as Kyle mocked the tattoo and his friend and your own eyes began to water at the memory of Kyle’s boyish smile and carefree laughter. “I’m not Kyle anymore. I’m really sorry.”

Your heart broke. Not at Kyle’s different body, but at how much he was hurting. He was apologising for something way beyond his control and was really tearing himself up over it. Did he really think you cared that much about his body?

“I don’t care what you look like, Kyle,” you tried to reassure him, but Kyle just shook his head.

“I’m not me. I’m not your Kyle,” he sniffled. Tears were rolling down his cheeks.

“You are my Kyle,” you insisted, reaching out to cup his cheek and wipe the tears away gently with your thumb. “You’re my Kyle and I love you. I don’t care what you look like, what your body looks like. You are you. And you’re perfect,” you pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

Kyle smiled at you through his tears. “I love you,” he murmured.

You smiled back. “I love you,” you reciprocated.

Kyle looked down at the bed before looking back up at you. “Can we just lay here for a while?” He asked almost sheepishly.

You nodded and Kyle pressed a kiss to your cheek before laying back on the bed. You copied him and laid down too, tucking yourself into Kyle’s side and resting your head on his chest. Kyle’s arm wrapped itself around you protectively and he nudged you even closer to him, wanting there to be zero distance between the two of you. He wanted to lay like this forever, and so did you. Just the two of you tucked away in your own little bubble, away from the dramas of the world.

“You’ll always be my Kyle.”

•———•

There was so much potential in Kyle that never got explored in Coven so I love writing about it. I really wish we got to see his reactions and attempts to come to terms with what happened to him but since we didn’t I hope this was an okay substitute! Thanks for reading 💗 (also only just discovered that Kyle cries “what am I?” to Zoe when she comes to him in the greenhouse 🙃)

Taglist: @jellyluvr @howtobesasha @dewberryobssesed @luv4evan @kaismanwich

Want to join my taglist? Just reply here!

[ellilyre]

I finished ToA not long ago and I wanted to write down some thoughts/scenes that stick with me

(in chronological (ish) order, watch out for spoilers)

Theres an italian girl at camp ! It means Nico gets to practice and speak italian ! (which probably haven't happened in about 70 years)

Will introducing Nico as "my boyfriend". I already knew they would be canon, but reading that line felt weird /pos

Apollo sees Solangelo and think of himself and Hyacinth

That night when Kayla and Austin disappeared and Apollo left to look for them, it probably was the first night Will ever spent alone in his cabin

Apollo's insane body dysmorphia. He's a god, he can always take the physical form he is the most comfortable and confident in... Until now. He is stuck in a body that isn't his, he feels ashamed, when he sees certain traits in others he find them charming or pretty, but when it's on him then it's disgusting. He complain that everything is this body's fault (ex. he wouldn't have been touched by the Eurynomos if it wasn't for his chub.)(I could go on for hours)

Lityerses ! I love that guy. Idk why i love him that much. He is my best guy.

Apollo's reaction to Commodus' name. His flashback of him. So painful he was physically sick.

Apollo talking Helios out of killing them, because he just want to be free, not to hurt them.

APOLLO ATTEMPT TO KHS TO STOP THEM ?? IM A SUCKER FOR SOME GOOD PAINFUL SELF SACRIFICE.

Jason. I'm not talking about Jason. I can't speak about Jason.

Frank and Apollo ! They are so fond of each other !!!

Apollo heard all of Frank's prayers when he was unclaimed and wished he could've adopted him.

And Frank respecting Apollo as a god although he is *vaguely gesture at Apollo/Lester*

Reyna saying aloud that she doesn't want nor needs romance. It's so rare to see aromantic representation and Rick did it so well.

Literally Apollo singing his way out of situations.

FRANK'S SELF SACRIFICE!!! (He already had one of my favorite character development before that)

APOLLO KILLING COMMODUS ??? why do never talk about that it's one of the best deaths I've ever seen that was BADASS AND FULL OF EMOTIONS.

Apollo slowly dying out of poison and the Dodona Arrow doing everything it can to keep him conscious.

I hope Dakota didn't get killed off just to give Lavinia the role of Centurion. I love my boy Dakota, and his death felt kind of meaningless, except for her rank up :/ also i feel like it doesn't suit Lavinia. Some ppl are strong and good and trustable but just not made to order others. (ill prop make a full post about that)

Dionysos confirmed to be an annoying little brother!

Nico. How does Rick manage to always give him more issues. Leave the kid alone.

When Will glows, Apollo is genuinely impressed and tells him how proud he is.

Nico destroying Nero's door with his giant zombie bull. That was cool.

When Apollo gets stabbed in Nero's tower and think it's the end, he prays "Zeus, Artemis, Leto, anyone"

And in general the few parts he talks about Leto, he's such a momma's boy and I love it.

When Apollo left for Delphi... I was fully expecting Meg to go with him. I was so worried that he went alone while already feeling that weakened from the previous events.

DODONA ARROW. FOREVER IN MY HEART.

Artemis is here when Apollo wakes up. She's by his side, she's the first person to tell him he succeeded, she hold him while he sobs...

The first thing he does is to greet his horses :) and then to see his friends.

When he gets back to the Dodona bush ! To tell them all how brave and heroic the Arrow have been !

I could spend hours talking about the character developments of Apollo, Meg and the Dodona Arrow (i love the arrow so much you have no idea) but its for another day

There's many things I didn't talk about, but the post is already long enough. I love those 5 books, and Apollo is an amazing narrator.

I love the Arrow of Dodona with all my heart.