#brain: that's fair bUT ITS NOT CANON

[ari-cant-think]

Regrets and Lost Love.

Vox climbed over fallen rocks and bricks. He had come here to gloat over his nemesis, but this was getting ridiculous. 

“The things I do…” He grumbles. 

He brushes some dirt off his pants, and pulls himself up to the ruined radio tower. The ladder is a little rickety, but it’s usable. 

“Alastor?” He calls out. “Are you up here?” 

Nothing answers Vox. He sighs loudly. “You can’t hide! You fucking loser!”

A pained groan sounds from behind him. Vox whips around to see Alastor, huddled in a corner with his arms clutched around his chest. 

“Alastor?!” Vox kneels next to the demon. 

Alastor hisses at him as his ears pin back. “What are you doing here, Vox-“ His voice sounded odd without the radio filter, “-come to gloat?”

Vox hesitated for just a second- but that was more than enough for Alastor to catch on. 

Alastor starts to chuckle, then cackle, but he’s cut off by a wet cough. Blood drips from his mouth and his sclera bleeds black. 

“…Al?” Vox says. “Wait-“

Vox sighs frustratedly and scribbles out his words. The bar where he sat was dimly lit, and his seat was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Alastor, humming softly, was sitting on the couch and twirling his staff that Vox had commissioned from Rosie a few weeks ago. 

“Would you like to dance?” Alastor asks out of nowhere. 

“I- what?” Vox looks up from his work. 

Alastor snaps his fingers, and soft music plays from the candy apple red radio. “Would you like to dance?” He repeats. 

Vox fights down a blush. “I-I don’t know how to,” The demon admits. 

Alastor hums. “That’s alright, I can teach you.” He offers a hand to Vox, who accepts. 

Alastor guides one of Vox’s hands to his waist. Alastor puts his hand up on Vox’s shoulder. The tv demon, knowing this part, clasps their hands together. 

“Uh…what do we do now…?” Vox asks. 

“Step to the left,” Alastor instructs. “Then, cross your right foot over it.”

Vox focuses on Alastor’s feet and matches the steps. 

“Once more.”

Alastor’s ears flick against the screen of Vox’s head. “Okay, now reverse.”

Eventually, Vox gets the hang of it. They step in time to the music, and Vox leads them in a slow circle. 

…Two hearts connected by one beat…

…Your hand in mine and…

Sweet guitar fills the room. Alastor leans his head on Vox’s chest and moves his hands so they cup the back of Vox’s neck. Vox cradles the smaller demon in his arms. 

“I could never choose to love another…” Vox softly sings the closing lines of the song. 

“Maybe one day I could’ve learned to love you too.” Alastor smiles, a real smile. Vox had learned to tell the difference a long time ago. Alastor’s real smile was soft. It wasn’t like the pasted-on grin the world saw. 

“No, no, no! Please!” Vox pleads, but he knows it is far too late. 

The light faded from his love’s eyes and Alastor slumped against the wall. His lifeless eyes stared past Vox, and the hand Vox held fell limp. 

Vox sobs, the mockery of tears filling his screen. “Please…” He cries, to no avail. There is no one to hear his words. 

Vox’s heart shatters into a million shards of blood and tears and glass. He mourns for the love he almost had, for the loss of the person closest to his heart, for his one true constant in this hellscape. 

He gently closes Alastor’s eyes. Now it seems as though the demon is just sleeping- no. Alastor never looked this peaceful when he slept. 

Vox slides his arms underneath Alastor’s cooling body and stands. He teleports out of the ruined tower and walks through the rubble to the Morningstars and their friends. The princess is hugging her girlfriend while the porn star and the cat share a hug as well. Lucifer stands to the side. 

Charlie- that’s her name right?- turns around and spots Vox. 

“Vox?!” She stands in front of him, looking lost as she stares at Alastor’s bloodied body. “Wh…what happened? Did you do this?”

Vox shakes his head frantically. “I-I would never! He was in his tower…I guess Adam hit him harder than we thought. He…he bled out.”

Tears gather at the edges of Charlie’s eyes. “No…”

Vaggie runs to her girlfriend’s side. “Charlie- oh…”

One by one, the group gathers around Vox and Alastor. Charlie hides her face in Vaggie’s arms. Husker looks conflicted while Nifty full-on sobs. 

“I’m sorry,” Vox says. 

“What were his last words?” Charlie asks softly. 

“I couldn’t hear what he said,” Vox lies. “He was…coughing up a lot of blood.”

Charlie cries harder, soaking Vaggie’s shoulder. 

~~~~~~~~

The dark red coffin is slowly lowered into the ground with Lucifer’s magic. Charlie sniffles softly, and even Angel has to turn away. 

Vox stands a little separate from the group and watches Lucifer use his magic to fill the grave with dirt. 

Slowly, the other members leave the small courtyard, with Vaggie leading her girlfriend away, and Husk scooping up Nifty and leaving with Angel. Eventually, only Lucifer and Vox are left at the grave’s side. 

Lucifer slips by Vox with a low whisper of, “Don’t stay for too long. It’ll hurt more.”

Vox doesn’t respond, instead choosing to stare at the tombstone. 

It was carved out of granite to look like an old radio.

Alastor 

“I could never choose to love another; maybe one day I could learn to love you too.” - We Become We

Vox had chosen the inscription himself, though it took many tries to get a readable version. 

He knelt by the grave. 

“Hey.” God, he sounded so stupid. But this was the only way to get closure. He would never find closure. It hurt too much. “I miss you. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

He placed the broken staff and a few flowers. A pink carnation, a cyclamen, a purple hyacinth, and a sprig of rosemary. 

Vox stands and brushes off his coat. He stares down at the freshly turned dirt and flowers. 

“I love you,” He whispers. “I’m sorry.”

~~~~~~~~

[system-of-a-feather]

Man, since we are hard reset back to our brain power being allocated to XIV and I more than "the big picture" I actually have brain power to think on my shit again and man

XIV doesnt let me* have SHIT** in this house

*Doesn't let me = Allows me as long as I want and lets me hide in my corner and run as long as I want on the understanding that I have to admit Im hiding, choosing to ignore it, being a coward and accept that he will always peanut gallery me until I get tired of hearing the same thing over and over and give up on running

**Shit = A perpetual and forever state of avoiding and running away from things about myself and the reality of my complex existence due to factually having been through trauma and thus allowing said avoidance to control, restrain and stagnate any growth to my happiest and best self even if said thing I am running from I could factually easily handle if I JUST STOPPED RUNNING

But damn it I'll admit it here so

[6okuto]

tumblr user luvring i have to thank you for all of your hard work for the Yearning touchstarved fandom with your Most Based and Correct headcanons. (PARTICULARLY on how you write kuras and ais.)

WOAHHH?!? Tumblr anonymous friend i must thank U for ur very precious enjoyment and validation. < girl who's scared bc she's too lazy to replay the demo and is often writing based on approximate vibes. ais especially because when i tell u i've haikyuu suna'd him i'm being so fr i have to shake myself like ARE U SURE? grahhh... for realsies thank u very much. U mean the World 2 Me 🫂 i will do my best to collect crumbs and snacks as we wait everypony..

[scare-ard--sleigh]

when you talk about the worst fandom, are you referring to the one that became something extremely toxic, or the one that you left very quickly Because it was clearly toxic, or is there another metric like 'did the most psychological damage' or 'turns out the creator was a n*zi all along so I can't even count it among my other experiences bc so many people chose to ignore it and proceed anyway and Fuck That!'

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

I downloaded an animation program. Time to do the most technically difficult animation parody i can think of as my first project!

[aezuria]

Could you maybe do jason grace x jealous fem!reader? We know that Jason is canonically VERY attractive. He's legit all American boy fr, so obv he'd have so many ppl crushing on him in camp. So reader thinks she's not pretty enough for him or something and jason finds out abt it, and reassures her that's she's perfect :( ahh just some fluffiness maybe?

*ੈ✎ golden boy, can i be your golden girl?

content: jason grace x reader; oneshot

╰┈▸ back cover: part I | part II

warnings: bit of angst BUT it ends in fluff dw

librarian's annotations: IM SO SORRY ANON mitski started playing and i forgot u said "just some fluffiness" 😔😔

sometimes, you could hardly believe that you were dating the jason grace. "the jason grace," as if he was some world-famous football player, which he'll probably turn out to be. every single student knew his name like it was stamped into their brain as soon as they started attending this school. it made you both proud and uneasy, especially when more popular, pretty girls went up to him. you didn't doubt his loyalty, of course, but you often felt that he could have done so much better. any girl would gladly date him as soon as he requested. but he chose a no-name like you, instead. you couldn't count the amount of times your own classmates said "who?" when jason mentioned you.

it wasn't fair, you knew. you could tell he very obviously loved you by the way he handled you with such gentleness it made your heart hurt. his air alone seemed to shine like the sun, illuminating you and everyone around him. but akin to the sun, it hurt to look at him for too long.

and yet, you couldn’t bear to leave his side and offer a better, more suitable partner for him— for you were too selfish. he was all you ever wanted, was it so wrong to hold onto that dream for a few moments more?

(yes, it was)

"you'll be at my next game, right?" jason pressed a kiss to your temple as he cradled you in his arms, your back to his chest. "you're my good luck charm after all."

it was stupid. so stupid, because you knew he wanted you there— he just asked you at that. but it didn't stop the churning in your stomach about how you felt that you didn't belong on the bleachers.

"yeah. i'll be there for sure." you smiled. troubling jason would hurt you more than keeping your thoughts to yourself. you wouldn't let his sunshine dim if you could help it. and that, you could.

your heart was too heavy for you to fall asleep. it weighed you down, filling your lungs so you couldn't breathe. your rampant tossing and turning led you to the moon, shining timidly behind the curtain. you reached out to part it to the side, the moon sneaking into your room and drowning your sheets in a soft glow. it tickled your skin and did away with the uneasiness in your heart, scaring it away into tomorrow. rest easy, now.

but the moon was gone with the night, the sun in its place as it tugged at your heartstrings to wake you up. it's brightness was warm yet harsh, urging you to get ready and see your own golden boy. you heaved a sigh and obeyed, swinging your feet off the side of your bed and getting up. as you picked out your clothes, you caught sight of yourself in the mirror and paused. was this really what he wants? it was hard to believe. you didn't have to look close to see the imperfections etched on your face, your body. put next to jason, it'd only make you seem worse.

"y/n!" jason scooped you into a hug, already dressed in his gear, save for his helmet. the sun does have its quirks after all. his touch burned the most of your thoughts away, leaving only amusement behind.

"you're squeezing too tight!" you croaked out through a fit of giggles only he could make.

he loosened almost immediately, pulling away to look at you with a bright smile, the tips of his ears turning red in embarrassment. "sorry."

you only grinned and pulled him down for a quick good-luck kiss. "play hard, sunshine."

jason's nose wrinkled at the nickname. "sunshine?" he laughed. "whatever you say, beautiful."

his coach blew the whistle for the team to gather 'round, jason waving goodbye before you could answer. beautiful? how was it that he always knew the right thing to say at the right time?

you made your way to the bleachers, sitting near the front where the team's close friends (girlfriends) and family sat. the tendrils of your mind crept up your back once again as you sat near the edge. you couldn't help but feel out of place— many of them were already talking with each other, having been together for the previous years. whenever they'd lean in to giggle at something, you couldn't help but think that they were talking about you. was it because you did your makeup bad today? was your outfit wrinkled? did the wind mess up your hair? the feeling in your gut returned, more persistent than last time.

you forced a bright smile as jason ran up to you once again, a triumphant grin splitting his face. "i won for you!" as he always did. you were happy, truly, and you hoped it showed instead of the emotions you just couldn't seem to get rid of.

"i saw! you did so good, jason!"

okay... something was definitely up. usually, you'd give him a kiss as soon as he came here— where was his kiss? and why didn't your sweet smile reach your eyes? but he knew you wouldn't tell him, especially not with this many people around.

"all for you," he repeated softly, his arm wrapping around your waist as he led you out of the field. "can you come over? i feel i'm in need of your therapeutic cuddles." he looked at you out of the corner of his eye, knowing the only way him to get you in a place he was able to comfort you was by making it seem as if he needed it. because for some reason, helping came so easily to you for the sake of anyone but yourself.

"..alright." you agreed after a brief pause. "is something wrong? or are you just tired?"

ever the angel, your immediate concern was heartwarming. jason gave you a reassuring smile. "just tired."

you came out of his bathroom, changed into one of his shirts. it smelled like him, touched with sunburnt kisses. he was already in bed, half of the blanket folded open for you to slip in.

and that you did, curling up beside him as his arms wrapped you up like a gift. he buried his face into your neck, breathing deeply before he whispered, "you wanna tell me what's going on?"

you froze. how did he know? were you that obvious? you should’ve hid it better! it’s not even a big deal, he shouldn’t have to-

“you know i love you, right?” jason spoke up, interrupting your thoughts. he said it so earnestly there was no other answer but yes. so, you nodded against him.

“only you. did you know you’re my first real girlfriend?” he pulled away, a soft light dancing in his eyes.

“really?” it was a hard thing to believe. with all the girls throwing themselves at him, it would be odd for him to not like any of them. “but, you’re so.. you. you’re kind and smart and talented.. tall and handsome too..”

“well.. i wouldn’t say that…” he chuckled nervously, not expecting to be hit with the side barrage of compliments. “but look at you— you’re smart and sweet, thoughtful and considerate..” he trailed off, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. “and so, so, beautiful.” before you had a chance to doubt yourself, he leaned in and kissed your cheek, before moving his hand and doing the same with the other. soft lips moved to the tip of your nose, then up to your forehead, ending with one to your lips.

“the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen.” he looked at you with such fondness, all your thoughts disappeared, whisked away into the air.

you met his eyes, a smile starting to show. oh, how he missed it.

[dufferpuffer]

Just read your post about Tonks. Tonks surely was a student of Snape's. Just imagine. Tonks. In Potions. With Snape. Tonks, canonically the clumsiest character of the entire series. Potions. The SUBTLE science and EXACT art of potion-making. NO foolish wand-waving or silly incantations. Tonks is not subtle and exact. Tonks is foolish and silly. And that, to Snape, is INFURIATING. However, Tonks is an Auror. This means Tonks succeeded in getting an Outstanding O.W.L in Potions. This means Tonks took Potions N.E.W.T. This means Snape was probably hoping and praying he would never see her face again after her 5th year but SURPRISE. The girl is SMART and Snape is, unfortunately for him, a fair grader (yes he is idc what people say). I want to see this. I want to see Tonks being an absolute clumsy mess in Potions and Snape being livid but at the same time frustrated because he knows she has potential but she's just not careful and she's witty and talks back and he can't just truly hate her. THIS brings me to the scene in HBP where Tonks brings Harry to the gates after he got knocked out by Malfoy on the train. She sends a Patronous inside the school to get the gates opened. Snape comes and tells her that he noticed her Patronus had changed (now a wolf so cute omg). Therefore, Snape remembers her Patronus from before, but it's like he catches himself and makes a sly remark about her new Patronus being weak because it's a wolf. Like a father disapproving of his daughter's choices for falling in love with a mangy werewolf (love you Remus). Idk I loved that scene because it hints that they have a bit more history together than we think. It could also just be from both being part of the order, but I feel there is a bit more. What do you think dear tumblr friend?

I think she and Snape were buddies. As much 'buddies' as Snape can manage with a student, anyway.

There is a reason Tonks stomachs Moody so well - and its because she's had A LOT of practice with grumpy hard asses. She takes biting comments well, she isn't ever afraid to dish humor back, she knows well when to take things seriously and when to help lighten the mood - handy for people who can't relax easily.

She trained those teeth on Snape, I guarantee it. She LIKES bastards. She enjoys making people happy, she enjoys exceeding expectations, she likes proving herself reliable - and bastards are the hardest to please. She doesn't see blemishes or ugliness or scars - just the person. She likes making them smile.

She's clumsy. She's a disaster. He can't ignore her no matter how much he might want to sometimes - because she might die... ...and yet, her skill is obvious. She pulls through when she needs to. I like to think Potions might have been one of her worst subjects - but she worked hard at it, and enjoyed it, and asked questions.

Not just "Did I chop the Mudwort root thin enough, Sir?" But "Ey, Prof - if this potion utilities the healing properties within the cells of the root, shouldn't we be grinding it rather than slicing it...?" You know. She's actually invested, deeply learning about the topic, willing to experiment. Making him answer with thought. "...No, breaking the cell wall makes it burn away too quickly. We slice thinly to ensure good, even absorption."

And then her cauldron explodes later anyway because she accidentally tipped some leaves in with the slices. Oops. BUT... she will stay behind to fix it. She will ask to practice when she has free time. She isn't talented, nor careful - but its hard not to appreciate her enthusiasm and her dedication to success. He spent a lot of time with her. Being able to mark her a genuine "O" in her NEWTs was one of his proudest moments as a teacher.

Perhaps it's part of why Hermione annoys him so much, too - she appeared like an interested student on the surface, having read her books... but she never stepped the fuck up. She never tried. She never pushed it. She never used her brain. An insufferable know-it-all is ONLY better than a complete dunderhead in that they're safer to have in the classroom. But she doesn't encourage other students learning, she doesn't push herself, she doesn't actually care about the topic... just getting everything right, to prove she is smart or whatever.

Same with Neville: A clumsy oaf that seems to do nothing at all to mitigate that fact. barely even stays behind to clean his own messes. They say Longbottom is 'frightened of him' - well he isn't there to coddle him. He never needed to coddle Tonks. She took his bite as a challenge to do better and soared because of it. She was an oafish moron... but a rare gem.

...And then she started dating FUCKING LUPIN The first thing he said when she was so obviously showing interest it made him feel ill was "...You know he is a werewolf, yes?" And when she responded "Yeah, duh - what of it?" He groaned "Of course... you've never had any common sense..." And the look he snapped at her when she cheekily said "...Gave you hell at school, too - didn't he?"

Tonks teased him. Of course she did. There were days when he walked into class to see she had turned into a foolish version of him... But she knew how to hold back. She is a highly empathetic woman. Even when she was young... the few times she sensed perhaps she went too far: She was mature enough to apologize. Sensitive enough to realize he would not want such apology in front of others, either - and wait till after class to hang her head. It was difficult to stay mad at her. She was just too damn earnest.

In many ways: She reminded him of Lily. Firey, obsessed with magic, popular, friendly - brightened up every room she entered. Seemingly cared about everyone. Even him. It was just... pleasant. Familiar. She was a very different person, of course - but interacting with her felt a little like home. Perhaps a few times a little piece of him slipped out to her - something more juvenile and playful than he has been for years.

...That's what I think, tumblr friend B^) I think its a good thing they didn't find out eachother had died. They would have been distraught for eachother.

But if they both lived...? I think she could have been the thing that healed Snape and Lupins relationship. They both care for her - and can at least be civil with eachother for her sake.

Imagine: post-war family BBQ's with Snape and Lupin arguing over how to cook. Lupin wants to prove himself handy but Snape knows he's fucking useless. (Tonks is the true BBQ dad.) Snape babysitting Teddy. He'd be such a good uncle.

EDIT: Remus and Tonks were BOTH awful at potions. Tonks at least became competent through sheer effort - but they still both go to beg him for help when they need anything. I think Lupin/Tonks/Snape would be fun :^)

[feuerscram]

I know no one will see this, but I think we need to speak a bit more about Stanley and Stanford.

You see, I saw this post from @skipppppy, I choose Stan, and I was really surprised to learn that so many people do like him more than Stanford.

I mean, from what I can see on Tumblr, their is way more fanart of Ford than of Stan. Or at least more of Ford without Stan than of Stan without Ford (hope you're still following me there). Or at least that's the impression I get.

So I was wondering: why? Usually, when a character is seen as the best, he is the one that people like better, isn't he? So they draw him and write about him more, right? So why doesn't this seem to be the case here?

Luckily! I think I have an idea why!

That's because of shipping. Of course!

I mean, look at Ford! He has not one, but two love interests in the persons of Bill and Fiddleford! One is even somehow canon! If you count all the AU with Bill, you get even more!

He has toxic yaoi! So much possibility of drama! Cries! Blood! Broken trust! Every angsty sceneries you'd like to see or read!

[insert picture where Fiddleford and Stanford are in university -yes, the one where Ford is covered with post-its- because I couldn't find it :(]

And we have doomed yaoi! Two besties who got separated by the worst unfortunate events ever! Almost as much drama, but also a lot of potential fluff since Fiddleford is undoubtedly a way healthier relationship for Ford than his one with Bill!

So what about Stan?

Well, Stan has also two love interests. (From what I saw). Fiddleford and a square. (I'm so sorry, I don't know his name 😭). Probably also Eda from the Owl House if I try to be fair. (And I never saw anything shipping him seriously with Lazy Susan.)

Let's "analyse" them!

Fiddlestan: I think this ship is mostly born from people who are shipping Billford, but still want McGucket to be happy. Also they don't want Stan to be alone forever. That's how I see it at least! There are really cute pieces of art for this ship, but I think it may be less interesting for some people, since they don't interact a lot in the show.

Stan X square guy: I don't really follow this idea (as you may have understood already x), so I think this is mostly to give an equivalent to Billford, but with Stan. Also the joke that makes them the "shape-fucking brothers" is pure genius.

Stan X Eda: this one is probably the nearest from a canon ship since they may well have been married ! I hadn't seen much of this one, so maybe that's why it looks not really popular to me.

Conclusion: for Ford, we have two ships that are approved by canon, with canon characters.

For Stan, we have one ship with an actual character from the show -but who is himself not mostly shipped with Stan-, one ship with an original character, and one ship with someone from an other show. None of these ships seems to be preferred or really common: there's no consensus about Stan's love story.

If my theory is correct, and people are more drawned to write or draw about romance, then it may be why there's more content with Ford alone than with Stan alone. If Stan is cast with someone, it's usually so he doesn't stay alone, not because he seems to have a great vibe with someone. But maybe he is better alone? Alone but not lonely. Maybe his family is enough for him. Idk!

So that's it! Thanks for reading my useless rambling that comes from nowhere but my brain. If you don't agree with me, please feel free to tell me what you think. I know very well that what I said may be wrong, so just stay polite please.

[willbyersabyss]

The Upside Down is Will's Mindscape REVISED

I've been wanting to make a revised version of this theory to fit the updated canon so here it is! Most of this is a repeat of what I said in parts one and two (and three but I'm disowning her), but there’s a lot of new stuff too!

Dimension X is the origin of the democreatures, the Mind Flayer, and the powers. Gates to this dimension have been opened since 1943 when the USS Eldridge disappeared thanks to government experiments. El opened one of those gates in 1979. Then in 1983, she opened a gate to somewhere else. A different place to the dimension already explored for decades. This caused elements and monsters from Dimension X to spill over into this new dimension. So what is the Upside Down?

I think it's Will's mindscape.

Why do I think it's a mindscape in the first place?

When El entered Billy's mind, a huge red storm was visible from the beach memory. When the Mind Flayer/Vecna is in someone's mind, his mindscape combines with theirs, leaving his red storm behind. If this storm is from Vecna's mind, why is that storm in the Upside Down?

As El goes further into Billy's mind, she ends up at the place where he got flayed. This location is like a snapshot of that night. There's also a swirling red storm above it that creates a funnel. In the UD, the bats and Vecna's red storm spin in a circular motion above his house, just like Billy's Mind Flayer storm.

In Vecna's mindscape, he has his victims strung up on the pillars. This is identical to the makeshift graveyard in the UD library. His mind is also a snapshot of the broken Creel house due to lifelong possession. Billy and Vecna's minds are stuck in their traumatic memories and so is the Upside Down. The UD is stuck on the day Will went missing, Will's most traumatic memory.

Vecna's mindscape is overrun with vines for the same reason. In TFS, we find out Henry was possessed by the Mind Flayer. The vines come from Dimension X, so his mind mirrors these characteristics because it's corrupted. This is why the Upside Down has the vines. When El opened the gate, she connected Dimension X with someone's mindscape, causing the vines to spread throughout their mind.

The spores that infest the UD are especially interesting to me. Spores are not a characteristic of Dimension X or Vecna's mind. They're only from the UD. So why do the spores appear in both Max and Billy's mindscapes when they're being attacked? Unless there's another mind combining with theirs...

And then there's the fact that psychic contact opens gates to the Upside Down. Why would that occur? So a psychic connection with someone's mind opens a gate to... a random dimension? Nuh uh. It has to be a mindscape!

The first gate to Dimension X was opened using technological equipment, not psychic contact. Even El's Dimension X gate didn't use psychic contact. There's a difference for a reason! The Upside Down needs psychic contact to reach. But wait, the Russia gate! We'll get to that later...

They literally refer to the Upside Down as a brain multiple times as well. "If the brain dies, the body dies." It would make perfect sense for the Mind Flayer to call a mindscape its home.

And my favorite piece of evidence: Music opened a gate to the Upside Down not once, but twice.

To be fair, the second gate may have been opened by El when she connected Will to the radio. The thing that makes me think otherwise, though is the thumping sound in that scene. It sounds like it started before El reached him. Will was trying to get through the gate. El contacted Will through radios several times with no gates as a result, so why is this one different? It was the music.

What was the reasoning behind music saving them from Vecna again?

Music can reach parts of the brain that words can't... right. So why would music open gates to the Upside Down? Music is reaching into someone's brain! That dimension is a mindscape. But whose?

Will! Will! Will! The music need to have significant meaning to the listener. Should I Stay or Should I Go is consistently shown to have significant meaning to Will. They give us an entire flashback emphasizing it's importance! So a meaningful song to Will just happens to open a random gate? Unlikely. It was Will's lifeline out of his mindscape.

Vecna's red mind storm didn't appear in the UD in s1. It wasn't until Will's possession that the UD was taken over by this storm. Why is there a correlation between the storm forming in the UD and Will's possession? The UD is his mind. Will still feels the Mind Flayer and the storm haunts the UD after the particles were exorcised from him. This is because the Mind Flayer resides in his mind.

Multiple movies the writers named as inspiration support that the UD is a mindscape:

Peter Pan: In the original Peter Pan novel, Neverland is a map of a child's mind, or a dreamland

The Neverending Story: Fantasia is a physical manifestation of imagination

Alice in Wonderland: Wonderland is a dreamland

The Wizard of Oz: Oz is a dream

There are probably more movies with similar concepts on the inspo boards, but these are just the ones I've seen! Maybe these dreamlands clue us into the origin of the UD. The Neverending Story has been inspiration for ST since s1, with Will being a direct reference to Bastian, the creator of Fantasia. Why compare these characters at all? Will has also made a world through his imagination.

This fits extremely well with Will's characterization. We constantly see Will trying to hang onto DnD because he uses the game as escapism. DnD is literally an imagination game! In s3, we never really see the UD. This is the same season where Will fails to use his imagination because his friends deem it childish. It's connected! We don't see Will's imagination land because he's losing grasp of it.

This also explains how Will was able to shadow walk in s2. It's easy for him to slip into the UD because it's his mindscape. If now-memories and shadow walking were symptoms of possession, Billy would have experienced it too, but he didn’t. Will is special. Will even felt the Mind Flayer in his neck BEFORE it possessed him. Why would he feel it before possession? It was already in his mind.

I haven't seen TFS myself so this is based on what other people said happened, but when Henry was controlled by the Mind Flayer, the smoke would be spinning around in the void. Weird how Will's Mind Flayer influence was shown in the UD, not the void.

Yeah, you could say that Will’s visions in s2 were just visions, not the real UD, but I beg to differ.

And Owens would agree with me. He asked if Will felt cold to the touch when he was in his episode. Why would he feel cold during a vision? It was pretty obvious Will meant that he felt scared... unless Owens knows more than he lets on. He knows that the Upside Down is Will's mind. That's why he asked. That's also why after watching his men fix the UD communication, he went to rewatch Will's tapes.

Speaking of other people in the UD, wouldn't Will be able to tell when people venture there if it's his mind? Nope! Max couldn't tell El was in her mind until she flung Vecna across the room. Will probably can't feel them either. Ok but wouldn't Will feel the burn? Also nope! The vines in the UD are not from there, they're from Dimension X, so Will needs to be connected to the hive mind to feel their pain. The UD is just the background, not the hive mind. Oh and that whole hive mind thing is another UD-mind comparison.

Back to Owens, he said that the anniversary of Will's disappearance opens up neurological floodgates. Gates? Meanwhile, the giant gate downstairs is getting bigger and leaking out into the world. Yeah. He knew.

Now I need to talk about the VR game for a second. I'm not sure how canon this game is to the show, but I'm going to cover it just to be safe. Considering Jamie Campbell Bower did voice acting for it, I'm guessing a good chunk is canon. It has A LOT of proof for this theory. Like a lot. But still take it with a grain of salt since the game doesn't align 100% with the show.

Here's a link to the gameplay I watched (I skipped around but still)

The VR game is about Vecna wandering around mindscapes. Creatures from Dimension X seem to be infesting these mindscapes and the player has to fight them off. Interesting. So democreatures can go into minds? Dimension X critters wandered into the UD when El made the connection! The UD could very well be a mindscape.

There's a point in the game where Vecna reaches at Will's head and claims him as his own. This transitions into Vecna being inside the UD version of the Wheeler house. It's implied that he went into Will's mind. So he went into Will's mind and ended up in the UD. Which could mean nothing.

Then he goes even further into Will's mind to possess him. There, he sees Castle Byers with spores around it. Not the UD Castle Byers, the real world one. Will's void is the only one that has spores. A few other minds like Alice Creel and the demogorgon have floaty things, but they're more green and glowy, so I don't think they're the same thing. Spores are the staple of Will's mind.

As I said before, the spores are not present in Dimension X or Vecna's mind, so these are solely Will's. And they're in the UD. But why would Will have spores in his mindscape?

Joyce mentioned in s1 that Will loves Christmas. This is important enough that the season ended with the Byers celebrating the holiday. So what if Will tried to imitate Christmas by making it snow? Even Holly mixed the two up! Vecna may have taken this and put a dark twist on it, making the snow into diseased spores. This would tie into the stigma around gay men at the time because of the AIDS crisis. Vecna made Will's mind diseased to reflect his internalized homophobia.

Vecna's first glance at Will in this game prompts him to believe Will is the key. Alexei described the machine that opens gates as the key. Will is the key, he is related to the gates.

Will is the one to say they're going to miss the opening. The opening of the gate! The Russians just happened to open the gate once Will got to the mall. Were they waiting for him? They passed through a huge crowd of people, it's possible that one of the Russian spies were watching. They knew they had to be in Hawkins for the gate to properly open. Will being near was the key. The scene Will is watching here is a dream sequence, yet another Upside Down dream link. Later on when Alexei says that the door is opening, they cut to this scene of Will. Will is an important piece of the equation.

So while there was a gate opened using technological equipment, they still needed Will for this to be done.

That begs the question, why does the Upside Down only sit beneath Hawkins? Why couldn't they open a gate in Russia? A gate to Dimension X was accessed in the middle of the ocean in 1943 and was also opened in Nevada. The Upside Down is different... they need Hawkins. Why? Let's ask Mike.

Right... Hawkins isn't the same without Will!

Will's mindscape is bound to Hawkins. When El opened the gate, it altered his mind and made it stuck there. This is why Will doesn't feel Vecna until he gets to Hawkins. The giant gates didn't rain spores for two days, but when Will is there, they suddenly start. He's even warned before it happens!

I think Will's distance from his Hawkins-bound mindscape is the reason for his forgotten memories (birthdaygate). He's losing himself and the others are losing him too. He goes fairly unnoticed in Lenora. No new friends, Jonathan drifts away, Joyce is less protective, Mike never calls. He didn't even become a target for bullying even though he's visibly gay and friends with El (the new "weird" girl). It's like he's invisible. This may be symbolizing how a piece of him is missing.

There was a scene in TFS where Brenner was able to use equipment to see into Henry’s mind and from there, he could see Dimension X. Since I haven’t seen the scene myself I’m not sure how exactly it went down, but if it means what I think it means, Brenner used Henry’s mind as a bridge to reach Dimension X. It doesn’t feel crazy to assume the UD works the same way!

And I think that's what the whole “blue meets yellow” thing was about. Dimension X is the yellow dimension, the Upside Down is blue. There's probably a border where these dimensions meet. They meet in the west! The west is where Will is (California) and where a Dimension X gate was previously opened (Nevada). The UD is spreading to Will.

This is what Dustin says on the other side when they're messing with the lights (a Will creation btw). Interesting how he compares the mind attacks to crossing dimensions. Mindscapes are other dimensions!

There's emphasis on this being just like Mother Gate... but is it really? El wasn't in the demogorgon's mind, she just poked it from the outside. Unless it was the same and El entered someone's mind.

The name Mother Gate has a lot of implications, one being El's mother. Terry Ives' mind is stuck in a memory loop. Perhaps the Mother Gate title hints at the owner of the Upside Down suffering the same fate. Very convenient that Will's kidnapping parallels Terry's entire memory sequence (see here).

Speaking of stuck memories, this relates to my theory that Will has creation powers and time traveled through memories (read here). Why would Will have the power to create objects in the UD? Where did it come from? Well if the UD is his mind, we have our answer. There's clearly some form of creation power in these mindscapes and Will harnessed this power by memory hopping in s1. Now it's stuck in his memories. And because of an incident, his mindscape is physical, so these creations are real.

So what happened exactly? How did El open a gate to Will's mind?

We're led to believe that contact with the demogorgon is what opened the gate to the Upside Down, but did it really? In that scene, El touches the demogorgon, it roars at her, she's pulled out of the void, and THAT'S when the gate opens. There's a few seconds between the contact and the gate. So what if something else happened that we didn't see?

The demogorgon was eating an egg when El touched it. This egg is found right outside of Castle Byers in the UD. Coincidence? When Hopper finds this egg, it’s almost like he's in a trance. Then he gets interrupted by Joyce screaming Will's name over a destroyed Castle Byers. El was in a trance-like state, then the demogorgon screamed at her, much like this scene of Hopper and Joyce. What if this is hinting at El connecting with Will after touching the demogorgon?

Maybe when the demogorgon screamed, it startled El, and she overshot her contact. Will could have been inside Castle Byers in the real world, next to the demogorgon on the other side. El ripped a tear through the real world, Will's mind, all the way to Dimension X where the demogorgon was. This made Will's mindscape a physical location. (I made a longer post about El thumping Will’s head here!)

Will was then targeted by Vecna because of this connection. Think about it! Why are there such heavy implications that Will was in a Vecna vision that night, only for him to be taken to the UD? That place is his mind.

So there you have it, all the reasons why I think the UD is Will’s mindscape. If you want to read more little tidbits about this theory, check out the Will's Mind Theory tag!

[popponn]

pretty boy. [chigiri hyoma x f!reader]

notes: a bit of cursings, unmentioned but post-canon aka pro-player!chigiri, pinning.

“You are prettier than me,” you bemoaned your fate to your pillow. From your side, Chigiri Hyoma didn’t even bother to sigh at your unimportant complains anymore.

Hidden from your eyes, Hyoma wondered if he should scold you or do something else. 10 years of friendship and 3 years of crushing—he still couldn’t really grasp the situation whenever you were like this. Two seconds and you were the sunshine of his life, then on a rare one second you kept screaming how his face was the reason no one on earth is pretty.

The fuck was he supposed to say to that?

He tried “Thanks.” When you were chill, you squealed and praised him even more and he became a mess of a goo as he tried to act cool. When you were like this, you cried for real thrice and he really didn’t need a fourth time.

He tried “Of course.” The normal response was to poke his cheek—which reddened in response much to your oblivious ass’ and his unfortunate ass’ charging. The this response would be a confusing session of skincare steps tutorial followed with more whining.

Other responses too produced similar result. Either his crush acted up like some chronic back pain or whatever spirit possessing you became the bane of Hyoma’s existence which is a big fuck not again no matter how much affection he hold for you.

(Also, good God, somehow the latter made him felt miserable because while overcoming a fatal, life-changing injury is possible for him of course making progression in his love life from the goddamn friendzone is impossible.)

(Every celebration night, his whole fucking team poked him to death with that fact. Bitch.)

As those terrible recollection went through his mind, Hyoma jokingly wondered if this time he should actually grew a spine and be a man who charged at everything recklessly.

Which he did, because as Chigiri Hyoma had realized—

He is an impatient dumbass. Might as well shut down his brain for a moment and follow his ego out of field for once.

“Hey,” Hyoma called your name.

“Hm?” you turned your head slightly from the—holy shit seriously—tear soaked pillowcase. Hyoma’s pillowcase. Hyoma sharpened his eyes at that realization, but as of the moment he was a man on a mission.

Gently, Hyoma brought his face closer to you. You, as usual, didn’t gave him even a blink of nervousness even as heat crept up to his cheeks.

(Your heart beat faster. You silently asked if Hyoma would ever realize what being close to him does to you. But, out of respect, out of affection, and out of many things—you said nothing.)

“You do realize you are pretty, right?” Hyoma asked, his eyes looking straight at yours.

(You forced a pout, trying to hide the overwhelming, bubbling feelings inside the cavity of your heart.)

“You are just saying that, pretty princess!” you protested, pushing your face closer to him. Out of habit, Hyoma realized, and yet it still did things to him. Fuck his highschooler-in-love ass.

Hyoma raised an eyebrow. Through sheer determination and lovesickness, he pressed his forehead to yours, “Am I now?”

“Yeah,” you said, sniffing. “You are handsome, too. Unfair. So unfair.”

Hyoma pursed his lips. He could end this with a kiss and risked it all. Or he could get to the point on confess. Or he could chicken out for another year.

(A part of you wanted to risk it all and kiss him. But, you were a chicken who hold a crush for 13 years in its beak—)

But, in the end, he might have loved you too much to risk it all.

(—like a professional and trained clown, you held the urge in.)

Hyoma drew his face away from yours, “You are pretty too, dumbass. If it’s between us, it’s fair.”

You—who definitely, yet again, didn’t realize the blazing blushes on his cheeks—blinked in confusion, “…really?”

You are a dumbfuck—Chigiri Hyoma noted affectionately. He will be in love for an eternity and he is just as dumb for thinking it wouldn’t be so bad.

Bitterly, Hyoma smiled at that.

(You wanted to blurt out to your long time friend that his smile was the dearest thing on earth.)

“At least,” Hyoma began. “You are the prettiest girl on earth for me.”

Once again, dumbly, you blinked. Hyoma saw speck of red on your cheeks—mirroring his—before you immediately hid behind his pillow again.

Then, like a hint of happy ending—whispering, almost like a dream—he heard you reply, “…yeah, you too.”

Under the sunset, with a voice that could only be heard by him who sat mere inches away from you, you continued.

“I love you, Hyoma.”

(Hyoma knew his teammates would never let him hear the end of it if they knew you confessed first.)

(But, hey, the chicken is fucking dead and he is certain he could win a bar fight if its for the sake of his and your honor.)

“…yeah, love you too.”

[aqours]

i've shared my thoughts on this in dms with like 3 people so i wanted to put it on paper so i can always get it

so i think one of the biggest questions that goes around tcoaatl is regarding it's incest, asked in both good faith and by annoying antis: "so is the incest... actually like portrayed as bad? or is it just hot and fetishized and romanticized?" and y'know, i think the most genuinely HONEST answer regarding that is this: "it's both." (the later mostly romanticized)

the Graves siblings have a horrifically co-dependent relationship which even the steam page is very happy to make you remember, multiple characters acknowledge it, it's a fucking awful terrible thing and you can make decisions that acknowledge it and its obvious to anyone with two eyes and a brain capable of basic critical thought that realistically while you can do w/e you want in a fanfic in a canon sense there's no way gravecest cannot result in what will ultimately be a lifetime of suffering even if both parties don't want to admit it. you're condemning them both to a chance of ever finding real genuine happiness that can exist without the other

that being said? they're both conventionally attractive and the game doesn't really shy from making its physical intimacy look hot and it's clear that nemlei doesn't want that physical intimacy to be disgusting or something that will make you feel ashamed if you intentionally pursued

i feel like this is the aspect of tcoaal that is debated the most on all sides of the fandom and i just wanted to post my own two cents in that i think the answer is "its both." the extent of how co-dependent these two are is very clear that it's not good and that most likely in the final release the best outcome for these two will probably involve acknowledging it

but also if you were to approach nemlei and just told her "listen i just think it's hot i don't give a shit about any of that other stuff i just wanna ship them." i think nemlei herself would nod and respect your decision completely. probably feed you even more if anything

you're free to disagree with me, i just wanna state my own thoughts somewhere, so i think the answer is a very solid "it's both" when it comes to this. tcoaal portrays the incest as horribly psychologically damaging for these two but also at the same time it's obviously not gonna judge you for liking it and if you find it hot nemlei would never judge you for it i think

but i just cannot in any capacity really take the argument it's a hard one or another seriously. i think if tcoaal wanted gravecest to only be seen as bad and horrifying that nemlei would've made different decisions in writing it bc it's obvious she COULD have if she wanted to, but also it's not fair to say it just makes incest look hot and sexy when it does show how fucked up it's characters are because of it

so... just wanted to say yeah- i think it's both

[fluorescentbalaclava]

training season's over

Chapter 5: R&R

Summary:

R&R, military slang for rest and recuperation (also rest and relaxation, rest and recreation, or rest and rehabilitation)

TF141/female reader

spy reader, forced bonding, slow burn, slow build, militar inaccuracies, sugestive language, language, canon typical violence, second chance, domestic fluff, enemies to friends, becoming buddies, they can't help but check you out

previous: chapter four "C.R.O.W."

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"Shouldn't you get a secretary for this?" You asked as you put her another paper through the shredder, watching the thin lines of paper fall into a bin underneath.

"I have four secretaries, and two of them happen to be busy yelling at rookies while other is away," Price said, as he passed you yet another block of paper to be destroyed. "I talked to your parents this morning."

"Fair enough," you said as you divided the big block into smaller groups of paper, not wanting to get the paper shredder stuck...again. You lifted your gaze to watch Price, curiosity spiked. He had his back turned at you, going through archives searching for old files to destroy and fill its drawers with updated and more useful intel. "Did you?"

" They're moving back to their house today, we concluded that they're not in immediate danger, but we'll keep them on watch, just in case. Sent help, so don't worry." He said as he looked through a folder to see if the papers were worth keeping.

"Yeah, they texted me this morning, thanks for that...who did you send, though?"

"Ghost." He said as he threw the files to the floor, amongst other useless paper.

"Why?" You couldn't help the sceptical tone slip from your mouth.

"Believe it or not, he is very good with families,” he said picking up the files he threw on the floor, putting it next to you on the very large piles of archives for you to run through the machine.

"Your mom renewed her invitation for us, you know?" Price said with a hint of tease, making you smile softly in amusement.

"We will see about that" You answered, running more paper through the machine, getting it stuck.

Despite your avoidant tendencies, it would be nice to be back home, at least for one night. A voice in the back of your brain made you think you didn’t deserve to go back there, your tainted hands would just ruin everything they touch. “Sei nicht albern, maus.” König said once to you, just before giving you the number of his therapist, “The things we’ve seen, sooner or later get to your head. You should talk to someone about it.”

You’ve learned to push the thoughts away, most of the time at least. But frequently talking to your family was something you still couldn’t get around. Baby steps.

Another reason to keep pushing that invitation was that your relationship with your colleagues was still a work in progress.

At first it was trying to get the trust of a stray cat, they could come closer, observing you, trying to figure you out, but one sudden movement to reach out and it would flee and disappear. You were sitting on the couch of the common room. It was cozy enough, a big couch where you were curled up with a cup of tea, and two one-seater sofas in each end, a coffee table in front of you, and behind it the television where you were currently watching the Great British Bake Off, as you did every Tuesday. Behind you, a small kitchenette with a metal dining table and five chairs. As if we ever sat all together there.

The first time Gaz approached you he stood behind you, looking at the TV in silence.

"What are they baking?" He asked after a few minutes of silently watching how the contestants ran through the kitchen.

"Devil's food cake" You answered before taking another sip.

"Oh, nice." He said, before becoming silent again. A few more minutes passed, as he remained stood behind you, watching someone struggle with their ganache.

"Uh...do you want to join?" You said quietly, looking up at him from over your shoulder, moving your legs off the sofa to give him space. When he heard your voice, he seemed to snap out of the trance caused by the amateur bakers.

"Oh, no, no. Don't worry, I have things to do. Thanks anyway." He said taking a last look at the TV before leaving the room. Damn it.

However, over the following days bumping into him became a common occurrence. He would hold the punching bag for you, and vice versa, while making small talk.

"Do you want tea?" You heard behind you, your attention switched from the explanation of the new recipe to the man behind you, you were in the same position as last week.

"Yes, sure. Chamomile, please," you answered, before turning back at the TV, slightly taken aback by the sudden offering. But then you reminded yourself: They're your team, you have to get comfortable with each other, otherwise the next few years will be hell and you'll have to move into the infirmary to hear someone talk to you more than two sentences. Then you went back to the cat logic. You had to wait for them to approach, not the other way around, or they will pull away as they don't fully trust you yet.

Back in KorTac, you would have considered König somehow close to you, or so you thought, as you seemed to be his main target for long excited speeches about bombs, and you also opened about your feelings, when they became too overwhelming, and he was surprisingly understanding, sharing a bit of his experience on the matter. Calisto was nice too, a bit posh sure, but she had great and expensive taste for both military equipment and clothes and---

"Here's your cuppa" You were snapped of your thoughts as Gaz passed you a warm mug. You moved your legs off the couch, just to test the waters, and to your surprise he did sit on the other edge of the couch this time. "What are they baking today?"

"Thanks, Gaz" You said before eyeing the mug that said ‘DEATH BEFORE DECAF’ with a very silly drawing of a grim reaper, making you smirk slightly before looking up at him and then the TV again. "They're doing pavlova.”

"Pavlova was always a bit too sweet for me" Gaz replied, taking a sip of his own tea, his mug had a yellow sign that had ‘I cause safety briefs’ written on it. Making small talk? Nice.

"Yeah, well, they're making a lemon one, so I think the sourness balances the sweetness a bit." Am I really at a military base talking about pavlova?

"Do you bake?" He looked at you for a brief moment before looking back at the TV.

"Oh, fuck no" You answered chuckling, taking a small sip of the hot brew. You let the flowery scented vapour fill your nostrils, feeling the warm liquid going down your throat, before adding. "I always end up messing the measurements and it comes out edible but a bit off. Do you?"

"Not at all. It's precise work, like disarming a bomb. I would rather disarm the bomb, though." He said, in a slightly playful tone, amused at your reply. "Why do you always watch this then?"

“It's fun, and besides it's an easy watch to distract yourself a bit," you said shrugging, still watching the TV. Helps me not to think.

“Good point," he said before going back to a slightly more comfortable silence than the usual one. And you had to admit, it was nice to have company next to you.

-

"Are ye fuckin' her?" Soap suddenly said, loudly enough to make other tables turn around, making Gaz choke on a piece of broccoli.

"What?! No!" Gaz answered, sounding like the thought didn't even cross his mind.

It did actually, once, when you were leaving the gym and you took off your oversized shirt throwing it over your shoulder, standing only in a sports bra and drying the sweat from your neck with a small towel. But this wasn’t the time or place to admit that.

Ghost and Price were sitting next to them, eating silently, looking at the exchange. A glimpse of amusement in Price's eyes.

"Then why are ye with her all the time now?" Soap said in the same accusatory, pointing at him with his fork.

"I'm not! We just train sometimes and watch TV on Tuesdays, that's hardly all the time" He answered with a shrug before taking another bite from his lunch. After some more contemplation, and still under the judgemental gaze of Soap, he added. "Besides she's nice. A bit brutal, though. Should see how she punches the bag sometimes, sounds like a gunshot.”

"Kid's fine, just need a bit of guidance" Price quipped in, still looked amused at the exchange. “And you can’t do that if you don’t talk to her.”

-

It was cold around you, the frozen breeze seemed to go straight through the heavy layers of clothes and gear, your throat getting dry and sore. You looked around only to see a dark and humid cell, you tried to move your arms, but the coldness was so intense they were numb. Suddenly the heavy metal door opened, and a figure walked in. You tried to talk but no words came out, your mouth so dry it felt incapable of muttering anything. He's saying something, you can't figure out what. The figure towers over you, the light coming from behind him covering his face with shadows. When he lifts a hand, you notice he's holding a gun, with a quick movement he lowers it harshly against your forehead.

You wake up with a gasp, your hand moving quickly to your head to cover the place where he hit you, only to find an old scar on your scalp, covered by your hair. Your movements are a bit clumsy and erratic as you look around. Dark and cold, but not a cell...close enough.

You're agitated as you look around, recognizing the place as your room in the barracks, you see the couple of decorations you pulled out, closed boxes pilling on a corner, the dim light of your lava lamp. As you sit up in your bed, you notice that at some point of the night your weighted blanket fell from your bed, as you got too warm, and your unconscious brain decided to kick it off. Your heart rate went down slightly, but the feeling of alertness wasn't wearing off. You lazily stood up, still feeling slightly on edge, put on your slippers, and walked to the common room.

Soap on the other hand, had to double check if he wasn’t hallucinating when he saw a girl, with her hair down and messy as if she just woke up, fleece and fluffy pyjama pants with a heart pattern and a matching top walking to the kettle turning it in on. He even stopped chewing on his biscuits to focus on her, as you were taking deep breaths with your hands on the counter. The lights were off except for a lamp next to the TV that was always on.

"Lass?" He said confused, sitting on the dining table on the other side of the room, making you jump at the sound.

"Bloody hell!" You said letting out a shaky breath, hands gripping the kitchen counter as you turned to him.

"Jesus Christ, calm down, it’s just me,” he said furrowing his brows, raising both of his hands in surrender.

"I just woke up and you scared the shit out of me." You huffed a deep breath, massaging your neck in an attempt to sooth your nerves. Soap could tell from the moment you walked in how tense you were, and he tried to approach it as casually as he could.

"Midnight snack or nightmares?" He asked with a mouthful as he stared back at you.

"The latter" You answered in a mix of resignation and tiredness, as your hand went up and started tracing the scar on your scalp. The kettle stopped. "Tea?",

"Well, welcome to the club. I think no one here slept eight hours straight in ages" he said putting another biscuit in his mouth. "Coffee."

"No, it's late. I will make you a chamomile" you said in a groggy tone, not leaving room to discuss.

"Whatever you say, ma'am" he said with a chuckle in return, but didn't complain.

He tried, he swore he did…but as you stretched to grab the mugs from the cabinet, he couldn’t help his eyes from trailing down to your body. Not that he hasn’t looked before, he wasn’t blind after all, and you usually walked to you room in a white undershirt and your tactic pants, fresh off the shower after training. But the loose uniform didn’t do you justice. His glance trailed down from the way your top stuck to your waist, and how your fluffy pants hugged your hips…and when he caught a glimpse of a tattoo on your lower back, made his jaw drop lightly, his eyes were glued on it. But he quickly snapped out of his daze when you turned around, making him quickly look away.

You walked back to the table with the two hot brews, sitting across Soap on the table and passing one mug to him. He looked at the cup, lifted it up and sniffed the vapour coming out of it.

"Smells nice. What is this for?"

"It helps you sleep and calm down" you said before taking a sip, looking up at him.

"Sounds useful" he said taking a sip first, visibly processing if he liked the taste, before taking another more generous one. He put the mug down, handling you the package of biscuits, Rich Tea. "Want one?"

"Aren't those Ghost's?" You asked hesitantly grabbing the package, looking at him narrowing your eyes.

"Nah, bought them myself" He said shrugging, and that was enough for you to grab one, the idea of a sweet treat too tempting to pass. "Ah! You ate one. Now you are an accomplice to theft, and you can't tell Ghost."

"Should have known, you never buy anything" You answered playfully rolling your eyes but grabbing another one anyway. Damage is already done. "Gaz always says you steal his coffee."

"Well, yeah, but Gaz just scolds me and never does anything. If LT knows I found his stash he'll use me as a target practice" he said taking another sip, to swallow the biscuit he had in his mouth. Once his mouth was empty again, he added in a soft tone. "So…"

"So?" You replied in a confused tone.

"Warming up to us, bonnie?" He leaned back on his chair, with a grin. Something in his attitude made you both roll your eyes but smile.

"Guess you could say that.”

                                                                                      -

"So, this is what you watch all the time?" Soap said in a confused, sitting next to Gaz on the other end of the couch. "Why is that bloke crying?"

"He did the macaronage wrong, so his macarons came out hollow, crumbly and have no feet" Gaz answered focused on the show rather than in Johnny.

"The fuck are you talking about?" Gaz groaned at Soap still-going questions, making you chuckle.

"He didn't mix the batter enough, so they came out wrong." He replied in a frustrated tone.

"You bake?" Soap asked him again.

"No, but if you shut up and pay attention you would know they literally explain it at the beginning of the show."

"Oh no, don't start over" You mumbled in a concerned tone, seeing the contestant leave the failed batch aside and grabbing the remaining ingredients and starting to mix them again.

"Well, he has to at least try, the others will look terrible when he serves them" Gaz answered, now in a softer tone, leaning back on the couch.

"Yeah, but there's no way he's going to get them in time, he has to do the batter all over, let them sit, put them in the oven..."

"You bake, bonnie?" Soap piped in again, looking at you over Gaz.

"Uh, no."

"Why are we watching this then?" Soap said again, sinking again on the couch, returning his attention to the TV, where some were already finishing the macarons for their presentations. "Those look good though, wonder what they taste like."

"Never had them?" Gaz answered to him, furrowing his brows, to which Soap shook his head. You kept quiet, never really tried them either. "We should go to the town and get some."

You just kept watching the show, assuming they were just speaking between themselves. This situation happened before, people would make plans next to you, you would just play dumb.

"Aye, we should, I have to get more deodorant too" Soap said, and he looked over Gaz at you again, and you were surprised when you heard him add, "You can go out of the base if you're with us, right?"

"Technically yes, you just have to tell the Captain first," You tried your best to contain your excitement at the possibility of being out again, to walk around other people that weren't soldiers, to visit shops, to breathe another kind of air.

"Don't worry about that, will promise him to get you home at nine" he said in a playful tone, with a grin.

"We'll show you around" Gaz said with a smile, and a probably harder than intended pat on your back. "We will get you your own mug too."

"Can I pick it?" You said making obvious you're glancing judgementally at Gaz ‘I cause safety briefs’ mug and at Soap ‘MAD SCOTTISH BASTARD’ mug.

“It's tradition that your superior officers pick it for you, in this case, us” Kyle replied with a grin, matching Soap. You smiled but looked at them suspiciously.

“You’re making that up.” You said narrowing your eyes while looking between them.

“Dead serious” Soap said, lifting his mug. “Ye think I would have picked this?”

“Yes” You answered without thinking.

“Wrong. I wanted the highland cow one.” He then added, in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Shh! They’re judging now.” Kyle said, leaning in, his body like a wall between Soap and you, as your attention quickly returned to the TV.

As you heard them both loudly arguing with the decision of the judges, you thought to yourself that being in jail wouldn’t be this entertaining.

next chapter: chapter six "Contact"

taglist: @no-lessthan3

if you like it leave me some kudos or suggestions on ao3! <3

[brujahinaskirt]

Real talk: I used to dislike LH Arthur because fanon low-honor Arthur is... boring. But canon low-honor Arthur? He--his arc--is somethin' else.

[RDR2 MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW]

To start with what LH Arthur is not: MOST (not all, most) of the time, the fandom's interpretation (generous word choice) of low-honor Arthur amounts to little more than a mind-numbingly generic dark edgelord fuckprince with little to zero textual support. All his interesting traits, concerns, and cares are stripped away to leave a generic evil sexyman doll with no psychological complexity and maximum y/n fuckability. Or even duller, fanon LH Arthur is just a cornball redditor projecting all the dumb chaos shit they did in sandbox mode into the narrative and promptly ignoring said narrative in its entirety. (i.e., HAR HAR ARTHUR CANONICALLY BURNED HIS HORSE NAMED MARY ALIVE FOR FUN AND PISSED ON THE ASHES, YOU CAN DO THAT SO IT MEANS ROCKSTAR SAID IT HAPPENED) (sorry about your brain)

... but the canon low-honor Arthur trajectory is actually so fucking good. like yesss son please wake the fuck up after 20 years of consciously and painfully murdering your own self-concept to transform yourself into a workhorse of service to provide for a father who gives you nothing in return except a shadow of love (not even a genuine thank you).

yessss it is time to notice yourself again after two decades of blindness, to try and stop the bleeding, but you have lost your ability to heal with the crude tools you have turned your hands/mind/soul into (and for what? for whom??). So all you have at your disposal is to bleed some justice from the prophet-preacher-god-figure who was supposed to love you & love everyone you love most in this world.

yessssss forget revenge and fairness (pretty lies) and just get the only satisfaction available to you which is to make this, the final act of completing your self-destruction at his hands, take his entire family from him (prioritizing the people you love the most, he never deserved them).

And YESSSS use your last acts to spurn him, to rip his mask off, to let him know that YOU, the product of his own creation, his son, the blindly loyal pet he hammered into existence out of a child, SEES HIM for who he really is. Make sure he knows that someone is finally looking through this glitzy shell of a patriarch and psuedo-dreamer and looking RIGHT AT what's really under there. Which is nothing. Make your last words remind him of all the other people who destroyed themselves for him ("not Molly, not Ms. Grimshaw...") because they were more human and lived & felt more genuinely than he ever will. Make SURE he knows that YOU know he has nothing inside him, absolutely fucking nothing, he's not even a complete man; he's just a pathetic shadow of humanness, like a parrot imitating speech without ever really understanding it or feeling the weight of it ("[I'm dying but] you're dead, inside you're dead"); he has therefore become nothing more than the victim of another manipulator, another nothing-creature wrapped in a shell of someone who loves him but doesn't, really, and can't, and never did.

Yessssss hurt him so bad with the way you die he stops talking for seven years

[wazzappp]

Alrighty my dudes buckle up

GHOST RIDER D&D AU

also WOE. ART STYLE CHANGE BE UPON YE.

First things first thank you to my beloved mutual @moosemonstrous, who was basically the brains behind the operation I basically just wanted an excuse to draw tiefling Robbie and then got smacked in the face with an awesome story way beyond what I had ever thought of with KILLER fucking lore to match <3.

While I usually like to start with Robbie when introducing an AU, we're going to unfortunately have to start with Eli. A man who fucked up so monumentally that the kinda sorta god he's supposed to be serving went 'Bitch??? How about NO.' and humbled him faster than my DM can say 'roll perception'.

Ok I'm getting ahead of myself. Eli is pretty much the same personality wise as he is in canon. Insecure and desperate for power/control. He grew up surviving with Beto by doing jobs for the Myriad crime syndicate. Somewhere along the way he started serving his patron, Desirat, the twilight phoenix, in exchange for her power.

Im just going to directly quote what moose said about Desirat cause its phrased WONDERFULLY:

"Desirat, The Twilight Phoenix - companion and mount of Asmodeus during an ancient war, was torn from her master and captured by uppity mages. They were eventually killed, but she remained chained under a mountain, creating weird thermal phenomena in the area. Her sanity fractured in isolation so she thinks herself divine, and she lends through dreams and visions to those who 'carry a seed of fiery vengeance'. She now speaks to the minds of those who lie spurned and angry at night, calling them to unlock their inner flame and let Desirat aid them in their vengeance."

Desirat chose Eli as her champion to free her. She believed his faults would make him easy to manipulate for her purposes.

But eventually Beto wanted to settle down, and Eli refused to (to quote moose) 'Stop that warlock bullshit that EVERYONE SAID will get him in trouble'. And the brothers separate. During that time, Eli gets it in his head that he can steal more power from her by becoming a Litch. Great! In order to become a Litch he needs to have the most important person to him engage in a willing life sacrifice. Not great.

So he finds Beto and tries to get him to oblige to his sacrifice, and while there might have been a time where Beto might have laid down his life for his brother, he wont anymore. He has a family now. People who rely on him who AREN'T Eli. Unfortunatly, Eli is PISSED by this and kills Beto even though he isn't a willing sacrifice. Eli figures 'Whose really gonna care? A life is a life right?'

DESIRAT cares. She basically obliterates Eli on the spot and stores his lifeforce for later purposes.

(all stat sheets curtosy of the great Moose. Also I feel obligated to mention there was a scary moment during the art process where Eli looked like a beautiful butch lesbian. Horrifying.)

After Eli's spiritual, physical, and magical bitch slap, Desirat starts looking down his bloodline for a NEW champion. Lucky her, Robbie is RIGHT THERE. Protective of his brother, a strong sense of justice even from a young age, a hatred of when things aren't fair; he's PERFECT. She has plans for this one. Eli was a good test run. But she has IMPROVEMENTS planned for Robbie.

So Desirat waits until Robbie is old enough and strong enough to serve her purposes. In that time, Julianna goes out adventuring to get more coin so she can pay for Gabe's treatments of Greater Restoration and just. General food and water and general supplies. But she doesn't come back. She was responsible though and hired someone who was willing to take what she could offer to take care of the boys. Gabe still believes that she's still out there and trying to come back to them. Robbie thinks she's either bailed on them for a life of adventure or dead.

Around when Robbie turns 18, Desirat puts her plans into effect. Seeing as tieflings carry innate magical abilities (most commonly thaumaturgy, hellish rebuke, and darkness) it would be far more advantageous for her champion to be a tiefling than human. In the span of about 4 months, Robbie goes through a rather drastic transformation.

His fingernails harden, then blacken, then sharpen. Awful pressure builds in his skull that is only relived when the beginnings of horns break through his skin. A similar process begins with a lump forming at his tail bone and eventually bursting out into a long pointed tail. His canine teeth fall out and grow back in sharper and longer. His eyes cloud over to black and yellow, all the while his skin reddens and forms hard ridges on his arms, ribs and spine.

To say this is disorienting and painful is an understatement. Not to mention how it changes how the other people around the village look at him (not to mention how it changes how he looks at himself). Even though the stigma around tieflings isn't as strong as it once was, it eventually causes Robbie to be out of a job. So he decides to sell the house, pack up his things, prepare schooling money for his brother and move to the city where more opportunities will hopefully await.

GABE!!! THE LITTLE ADHGH. Idk why but I got extreme cute aggression when drawing this version of him fdjkslaf.

Gabe still has CP like he does in canon, but with the magical advantages of ✨Greater Restoration✨ he can generally function pretty well. He still gets tired sometimes though, so he carries around a walking staff as an aid just in case he needs one (also he can go whack whack. at least thats what Robbie tells him when he gets a little self conscious carrying it around).

Robbie has saved up enough money for Gabe to get a months worth of schooling at the Dawn Father Chantry in the city so he can learn to cast Greater Restoration on himself. Gabe's recent growth spurt has been causing him to need more and more frequent healings, and the Chantry in their home village of Hill Rock has been less and less obliging as of late (partially due to Robbies recent uh... condition. not that anyone would dare say it to his face of course).

Some extra fun doodles with expressions and thinking about how Desirat might look and interact with Robbie. I love when gods have a kind of twisted love for their special chosen people (plus some fun transformation horror cause its ✨me✨ were talking about what did you expect).

Also I really REALLY liked that top left sketch and got the rendering itch so I had some fun and painted it in.

Theres a whole fuckin. Second post to this au all lined up cause Moose when HAM on this. But its gonna take some more character designs so I'll need just a little time. but this will not be the last you see of this lol I promise <3

[more-better-words]

fic author interview

Yoinked this from @ladytharen because it looked like fun. Hope that's not presumptuous of me. <.<

Tagging @deadheaddaisy, @phoenixflames12, @butcharondir, and anybody else who'd like to play.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60! That's a nice round number.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Currently 593,580 - though in fairness, nearly a third of that is a single fic.

It was a different time back when I wrote that.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The four fics of my Built to Last series (though not in order, lol)

What We Build Here

For the Duration

From the Ground Up

The Place We Call Home

And rounding out the top 5, a Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency fic!

Lay Down the Beat 

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely! And because I have very little self-control, I will often do so within minutes of receiving them! 😅

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. I don't really do angst - I mean, I'll write stories where angst happens, but that's rarely the point of the story. If the plot demands a dash of angst, then, much like a chocolate recipe that needs some salt, it will get its angst. But I don't really set out to write A Series of Sad Events in Which the Characters Are Sad; that's just not my style or my taste.

So I can't really say that ANY of my stories have an angsty ending. Oh well.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

With the above in mind, happy endings are basically a guarantee, at least up to a point. 😆 I let my darlings be happy, I let them get married and have things work out, because it's fiction, dammit, and I can.

That being said, probably the happiest of all would be just about any of my Trip/T'Pol fic, because I let them get married and have kids and successful careers and be surrounded by friends and family who love and support them because SCREW YOU CANON.

7. Do you write crossovers?

No, I don't think my brain's wired for that. I just...can't seem to.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Never on AO3 (okay, I once got snippily told I'd mistagged something, but that wasn't hate). I have gotten hate here on Tumblr, though never anything specific, just general "u suck" which...whatever.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

For a long time, I did not.

That answer has since changed.

As for what kind...the sweetest, fluffiest, most loving, happy, vanilla, tooth rotting smut ever.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, and I seriously doubt I ever would. I'm rather niche.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, niche. Haven't yet, doubt I will.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Years ago, I worked on an AU fic project with a friend that was very cool and a lot of fun. None of it ever got published, though.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Which ever one I'm writing right now. 😁

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I wouldn't mind finishing my Shadowrun: Dragonfall fic The Haven. Maybe some day.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, baby! I can have two characters sit and talk to each other FOREVER.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action and physical description. Even when I can clearly see a room where action is occurring in my mind, I have real trouble describing it on the page.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I used to not have any, then I started making up words and phrases in my own version of Andorian for my Trek fic.

And I still don't really have many thoughts, because I'm sure I'm doing it wrong.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Hmmmm. Pretty sure there's some BtVS fic of mine still existent on LiveJournal. 😅

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I'd love to write Discworld (I adore Carrot/Angua), but Discworld is already so perfect. It would have to be an absolute gem of an idea.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Whichever one I just finished. 😄

[baalzebufo]

HIII. can i just say. absolutely ADORE your gravity falls stuff!! i'd love to hear more of your headcanons (especially abt gideon) (that's my SON)

yes yeeees i was part of the Original Wave of Gideon Enjoyers back when like, episode 4 aired and it was about ten blogs who didnt hate his guts. i mean, i still want to throw him out a window, but I also think he has really interesting character stuff going on that some people just didnt wanna look at bc they hated him! which like, fair, he's a villain, but that freaky little dude will always be one of MY faves, haha

this post got. very long im sorry I had to put a readmore here haha but I haven't had an excuse to infodump about this for ages so here's a couple Things I like Thinking About... also a doodle I did the other night to break up the wall of text below

ok ok to start i LOVE him so much as a foil to dipper (and to an extent ford too) as examples of what the journals/that kind of power and information can do to people. its why im so adamant that he does actually have albinism, even if its not Technically Canon. dipper and ford both have a like, 'physical oddity' about them (birthmark, sixth finger) i think it makes sense for gideons to be his albinism as something that set him apart. all three are 'weirdos', were ostracised to an extent by the world, had that longing for something special or important, and then found it. and its what they DO with that which sets them apart

especially as a foil to dipper like... from time to time in the show, he gets a bit gung-ho about abusing the journals power for his own gain. but he has friends and family to reign him back in. he has more of a moral compass about not wanting to hurt people, generally. dipper never became like gideon did

this is getting into headcanon territory here but, my general summary of gideons childhood is an isolated one. only child, fairly sheltered, had some medical complications early in life which led to a lot of time on his own in hospital, attended school briefly and was subjected to significant bullying. and without a real support network outside of his parents who were very doting to the point of spoiling him because hes their Little Miracle he wasnt exactly well-adjusted even as a kid

but basically, that kid ends up finding this journal and learns about spells and evil artifacts and suddenly he has the power to make people like him. not only that but Fear him. he goes from feeling powerless to an absolute ego-trip. and his only close relatives would never tell their little boy 'no' about something, so they're not disciplining him in any way. its a perfect storm for a disaster to happen

it stems from this childish desire to go 'look at me im important and special and everyone likes me' and hes become so embittered already by people being dicks that he doesnt care if he hurts people on the way

that only really changes when mabel shows up and is the first person in town to approach him from a like... normal level. shes nice to him but not in the overly-saccharine and doting way his fans are, just in the way a girl who wants to be friends is. she treats him normally and is nice and he thinks she's pretty and that ALSO becomes a perfect storm of 'well shes nice to me and i like her so i must be in love with her and she is with me!' and, of course. kid who has never heard the word No before. so the later rejection becomes a HUGE sticking point and grudge to the point of being flat-out murderous

later in life with a little Introspection i think he'd realize it was less love and more just. basically imprinting on the first person to be normal and kind at him in years

UM. I should wrap this up i have so much in my brain. gideon was one of my earliest roleplay muses i'd write and draw with my pals, so I subjected him to a LOT of personal characterization stuff and also making a thousand AUs for fun. (aus always come in two flavours either its 'im going to make you marginally more well-adjusted' or 'im going to make you so, SO much worse')

ive got a soft spot for con-men and fake psychics and generally shitty little weasels and gideon just stormed into the show being a jerk with an aesthetic i adore and i was like ahhh. i want to punt him. hes my favourite.

ok im going to shut up now. last minute headcanon. gideon got into wood carving in prison art therapy because using a knife to stab something in a non-murder way helps soothe his urges. he whittles little people figurines

✨