#bringing my spotify links to tumblr

[chateaaa]

☆ Hype Boy - Blue lock various

synopsis: Blue lock characters with a s/o who is a kpop idol

pairing: Bachira Meguru, Rin Itoshi, Reo Mikage x fem! reader

warnings: fluff!! swearing(?)

Bachira Meguru

- OH. MY. FUCKING. GOSH.

- HE WOULD LITERALLY BE SIMPING SOOO MUCH

- He be like 'how did i bag this girl 😍'

- He would always support your concerts and fan events, and you would support him in his soccer events

- He would grin and be sooo happy when he sees you watching his game, he would also dedicate his passes and goals to you, when bachira scores a goal he IMMEDIETLY looks for you in the crowd, grinning like a love sick idiot

- If bachira's fame rises up, there might be some rumours about you both and he cleared those rumours up by posting on his ig acc pictures of you on his pov and captioning how lucky he is to have THE L/N Y/N AS HIS GIRLFRIEND!

- He would have self doubts when he sees comments about you being shipped with other idols but he forgot about them when you gave him headpats :3

Rin Itoshi

- NOW THIS GUY

- He would literally be a lowkey fan, BUT WOULD BE THE TYPE TO BE PART OF THE TOP 0.05 LISTENERS ON SPOTIFY, this man is streaming on all of his devices when a new album gets released

- would also attend your concerts BUT THE TWIST?? yeah, he attends your concert BUT HE STAYS AT THE BACKSTAGE

- your manager and groupmates absolutely adore rin!! he would literally get vip tickets and not use them because he wants to stay backstage where he watches you shine like a star the guards already know who he is so he just goes inside lol

- Rin would be the type who's very friendly with your groupmates!! he's kinda like the second manager of your group (lol)

- Rin as a boyfriend would be the type to have your official photocard which he prayed to the gods to pull on the back of his phone

- Rin would get super defensive when his teammates ask why does rin have a kpop girl on the back of his phone?? bachira thinks rin doesn't listen to music

- Rin would blush soooo red when he sees you, watching his games AS THE L/N Y/N, without any disguise or whatsoever, he would literally get mad at his teammates when bringing up how HE BAGGED YOU

Reo Mikage

- He would literally be your fashion designer !!

- would buy at least 20 albums when merch gets released AND WOULD GET SO MAD WHEN HE DID NOT PULL YOUR PHOTOCARD

- Reo would be the type to flex you to his teammates kinda like "yeah, the Y/N is MY girlfriend"

- Nagi would get soo tired to Reo's rambles about how lucky he is to be yours

- Reo would SPOIL YOU

- designer bag? you name it. Oh a new lippie product? what brand, he got you.

- Would suprise you with flower knows!! (i really want their makeup BAHAHA I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS)

- HE'S DOWNBAD FOR YOU. NO JOKE

- he would get so mad when he sees you getting shipped with idols, he would be very jealous, He would be so proud to be yours, but just like bachira he would be very insecure but he would be good to go when you give him some kisses <3

a/n: inspired by newjeans! stan minji guys! this is kinda a extension of my series called super shy, go check that out at this link

I hope you all like this! i might make part two, or i might upload chapter 1 here at tumblr!! credits for the divider i used!!!

[aqualogia]

hi I really like your mb and I'm new here. Do u have any suggestions or tips to make mb? like where did u get the pics and the captions.

𝓜oodboards: a guide for beginner blogs!

I decided to bring here a small tutorial that can help other blogs that are starting out and still have questions that need clarification, with tips and links that you may need. I wrote this from my point of view of creating moodboards and I tried to be as brief as possible in my explanation, there may be errors in English as I'm not fluent in that language and everything here was translated using Google Translate, any questions you can contact me via asks or by message.

how do I find pics for moodboards?

Pinterest is where you will find most images for moodboards, so create a Pinterest board just for these images, separating them into subboards for each color or aesthetic to make it easier.

Some blogs leave the link to their Pinterest accounts in pinneds or in the carrd, you can follow them and save the pics they published on the app in your boards, this will influence the Pinterest algorithm so that they recommend more of the type of images you want.

You can also search on Pinterest for the aesthetic and color you want (coquette pink aesthetic, cottagecore aesthetic, y2k, etc.).

how to make moodboards + tips:

Well, it's not such a complicated thing for me. I generally make moodboards with 6 or 9 images, taking inspiration from the moodboards of other blogs that I admire, so I can get an idea of ​​how to make the captions and how to position the photos in a way that matches them.

To make it easier, first I create the moodboard and then I look for an icon of a kpop idol that can match the aesthetics and color of the moodboard. The reverse can also be done: first choose an icon and make a moodboard for that image, paying attention to the color palette and tonality (and for some reason, for me it's better to create moodboards in Tumblr's light mode instead of dark mode)

When I finish the moodboard, I add the caption, the hashtags (which will be very important for your post to reach other people) and maybe a divider. You can find these dividers on other blogs or by searching for "dividers" on Tumblr.

If you want to split a photo into two or more images, use this site.

how to create captions:

To make the captions, I use parts of songs that I like or that I found searching on Pinterest for "Spotify song lyrics", but they can also be album or song names, movie names, a phrase you thought, etc. The symbols you will put in the caption can be found on this website or just by searching for "symbols", "kpop symbols", "kaomojis" on tumblr.

If you want to use a different font for the letters, there are these two websites (01 and 02). And to change the color, there are also these two tutorials (01 and 02).

what to do to make your blog "popular":

Add popular hashtags that relate to the content you are posting. If you use almost the same tags as other big blogs, your posts will have more reach. Posting frequently and your account looking nice and organized helps too.

Ask several other popular blogs to promote your account. This was very important for my profile to grow in the number of followers and engagement.

Join the events that some blogs do, as they offer good prizes like reblogs if you win. And remember to have patience, as it often takes a while to get good engagement on Tumblr.

[milligramspoison]

Below will be some of the album links (since tumblr will only let me put 10 Spotify links 😍), the last two links will be in a reblog 🫶

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

another ineffable husbands coded song i found to make y'all cry

While I was up to my usual shenanigans on tumblr, a friend suggested the song Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton for miscellaneous purposes. And I'm in the brainrot stage so guess who it reminded me of. Guess, maggots, who could it possibly remind you of? Not a certain demon who used to live in heaven until he fell from grace, but refused to return? Surely not him? Judge for yourselves, the lyrics are below the Spotify link. Hm.

TEARS IN HEAVEN - ERIC CLAPTON Would you know my name? If I saw you in heaven Would it be the same? If I saw you in heaven I must be strong And carry on 'Cause I know I don't belong Here in heaven Would you hold my hand? If I saw you in heaven Would you help me stand? If I saw you in heaven I'll find my way Through night and day 'Cause I know I just can't stay Here in heaven Time can bring you down Time can bend your knees Time can break your heart Have you begging please Begging please Beyond the door There's peace, I'm sure And I know there'll be no more Tears in heaven Would you know my name? If I saw you in heaven Would you be the same? If I saw you in heaven I must be strong And carry on 'Cause I know I don't belong Here in heaven

Season 2 Episode 6, anyone?

[sunlitsparks]

Home Is When I'm With You - Sonic the Hedgehog Big Bang 2024

Hello everyone! For those who don't know me, my name is SunlitSparks, though you can call me Sparkles (or Sunny, or Sparks, or even Aster LOL). I’ve been a fan of the Sonic franchise for nearly 18 years now, and have been an aspiring writer for around 13 years. Though I’ve written many fanfics and original stories over the years, nothing was ever finished or published, so this will be the first piece of mine to ever go public! I just wanted to give a big thank you to @sonicbigbang on Tumblr for organizing this event and bringing together so many wonderful and talented people! You guys have really created a community that I feel comfortable and safe in, and just overall feels so uplifting! I struggle badly with mental health and in many instances I came close to backing out of this project entirely…but I held strong and persevered, and can finally say I have a (semi) finished final result to share with fans! I also want to thank my editor @idasandia, who has been very patient with me and incredibly helpful towards my goal of making this piece as amazing as possible. Furthermore I’d like to thank my artists @peachy-keenss, @gwekkuu, and @sal421 for creating wonderful art pieces to go along with this fic; definitely go check them out!! This will be a multi-part fic, possibly with 2 or 3 (or even 4) parts by the time it is all wrapped up, but here’s part 1! I hope you have as much of a blast reading it as I did writing it.

~Sparks <3

Links under the cut ☆

Related Links:

(Link to fic on AO3 here)

(Link to Summary here)

(Link to Chapter 1 here)

(Link to Chapter 2 here)

(Link to Chapter 3 here)

(Link to Chapter 4 here)

(Link to peachy's art here)

(Link to sikyu's art here)

(Link to sal's art here)

(Link to YouTube playlist here)

(Link to Spotify playlist here)

[mcrinmyhead]

INTRODUCTION

Hiya, my name's Dee or you can call me Dead! instead, cuz that's what my name is in Tumblr. I'm sixteen. I'm an Indian, racists better fck off. I like to draw, sing and write songs and poems. I mainly post my art here and I have two side blogs too, which are @mcrinmyheart (idk what I post there :D) and @shesacomplicatedpoet where... Er, you know it. And when I say "art" I usually draw My Chem, Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park, Bring Me The Horizon and a few other bands, but you can always leave a picture in the "Ask me?" box if you really want me to draw something that you like :). Just make sure it isn't something s!utty, cuz my parents like seeing my sketchbook sometimes, haha.

About me...

Name: Dead! / Dee

Age: 16

Pronouns: she/they

Sexuality: Bisexual

Likes: listening to music, art, singing, music bands, food, sleeping (I'm a very eepy person), travelling, reading, etc.

What kind of art do I do? Fanarts mainly.

Dislikes: peanuts (yea I don't like 'em, so if you know me irl and try to feed me peanuts, I'm gonna fcking stab you, you little shit), pedos, homophobic fcks, MSI apologists, basic DNIs, etc.

Am I single? Yes, and that's because I don't want to date anyone. Nvm, I'm taken :]

Music bands/artists I like:

+ twenty one pilots, p!atd, Bring Me The Horizon, Glass Animals, Bad Omens, Sleep Token, etc. I also liked The 1975, The Nbhd, Joji, Driver The Era, Arctic Monkeys and Chase Atlantic before, so I really don't mind if you wanna talk about them too. I'm basically a music addict who has listened to a whole lotta music genres throughout my life. But I'm currently into rock music rn. Yeah, I can't stop talking about music if I start.

My favourites:

Books: Agatha Christie's books, Heartstopper, Five Feet Apart, The Fault in our Stars, Crime/Horror/Mystery books (there are many but I can't remember them), etc.

Movies: anything horror, mystery, crime, sci-fi, Marvel, DC, Star Wars, from the 2000s and 90s, etc. (How do people actually choose a favourite movie??)

Shows: Loki, Heartstopper, Young Royals, Marvel shows, etc. (I literally like all the shows I watch)

Albums: My top 10 rn (June 2024) are like- Three cheers for sweet revenge (my chem), POST HUMAN: NexGen (BMTH), XO (LeATHERMØUTH), The Black Parade (my chem), I brought you my bullets, you brought me your love (my chem), Clancy (Tøp), A Thousand Suns (Linkin Park), Danger Days (my chem), Folie a Deux (FOB), and Pretty. Odd. (P!ATD).

Colours: (Bury me in) Black, Blood Red and Lavender.

Where else can you find me?

At home, in my room 95% of the time. Nah, just kidding.

Links:

Pinterest

Spotify

Discord: mcrinmyhead

Tags I use:

My art: #art

Asks: #asks #asks <3

Scroll down for more facts about me...

Or don't. I really don't care.

Fun facts about me ^^:

I'm a really joyful, chaotic, kind, funny and a sweet person! :D (according to my frens)

Until and unless you get me on my nerves. Trust me, That's when I go insane.

If you know me irl, hi... Uh, I know I don't talk much in person but I'm sorry. That's just who I am. But if you want to be my friend, you can start by texting me lol.

I'm a music addict who likes to annoy people by talking about music bands 24/7.

I have an unhealthy obsession over My Chem.

I'm a huge nerd (according to every person in my class) and I like Math and Science (but I don't really talk about it unless you are someone who is into math and science as much as me).

I'm also a sarcastic and sassy person. So if my words ever offend you, I'm so sorry bbg. Deal with it.

I'm a vampire (I have fangs and I will bite you to suck that blood your body holds, RAHHH).

Other than drawing and singing, my hobbies are fangirling, sleeping, reading books, travelling and sometimes even cooking.

I might be surrounded by many people who I call my "friends," but in the end it's just four people who are actually my friends.

I'm mostly an introvert, but I'm an extrovert when I'm with my friend.

Yikes, this list is still going on!

I lived in Germany for two months along with my parents, but we moved back to India because I couldn't handle the bullying and all. But it was fun there, ngl. Having a new name was the worst part though (it was Diana, which I still use sometimes, and my aunts pronouncing it... was er... shit).

I suck at socializing btw.

But I like to annoy people at the same time.

Wait, does Tumblr have a word limit on a post?

SHALL I TRY REACHING THE WORD LIMIT???

Ah, yeah, I forgot to mention this but I'm a really curious person. I like trying out or experimenting on stuff. It's fun, okay?

I can be smart and an idiot at the same time B)

I write poems but I don't like showing them to others cuz I feel like they're stupid. Any tips on poetry from the poets of Tumblr?

I love cats. Cats or get tf out.

Am I annoying rn?

Idk.

This was fun.

Alright, that's enough fckery for today. Farewell my little kittens <333

So long and good night!

[bellasmumblingsandmusings]

What Could Have Been

Chapter Three

Previously: Prologue Tumblr Link for Prologue, Chapter One; Chapter Two

Pairing: Astarion x female!Tav

Warnings: 18+. NSFW, Ethical and non Ethical BDSM, noncon, some allusions to sexual violence, attempted sexual violence, dubcon, blood licking/blood kink, reference to cheating behavior, emotional trauma, group sex, sex, smutt, anxiety, negative thinking, sexual trauma, recovery, healing, angst,

Word count: 17.5K total

Status: Ongoing

Author's note: A story about two broken people making mistakes, not being heroes and yet trying to find a way to love  themselves and each other.

Song for this Chapter: My Blood - Elle Goulding : Spotify Link

A03

Entire Story Link on AO3

Spotify Playlist

Chapter 3: Beating of His Hideous Heart

The dungeon air was thick and stifling, laden with the weight of impending fate as Astarion advanced through its ancient corridors. His footsteps echoed solemnly against the green stone, each sound a grim drumbeat to the pivotal confrontation that awaited. Anticipation crawled across his skin, mingling with anxiety as he navigated the murky labyrinth of their relationship’s future.

This was not merely another meeting; it was a crucible that would test and potentially transform their bond. His steps were deliberate, his confidence in his carefully laid plans firm, yet he remained keenly aware of the unpredictable turns that might unfold.

Across the decrepit corridor, with its eerie green tourmaline and the soft clinking of now-empty cages, lay the site of his great Rite. The usual sounds of guard activity had vanished, absorbed into the shadows by his implicit command, leaving an expectant silence. Pausing at the entrance to Sima's cell, he inhaled deeply, steadying the storm within—a tempest of competing emotions: the desire to possess her, the fear of losing her, and a twisted thrill at the impending confrontation.

Inside, Sima sat on the cold, hard floor, her body curled inward, a physical echo of defeat. Her typical black leather armor was absent, replaced by a crude cotton tunic that draped loosely over her frame. Her hair, once a crown of meticulous curls, now sprawled wildly around her, a mane of despair. Flecks of sunlight pierced through a small crevice above, casting beams that streaked across her, painting her skin with stripes of light and shadow. These illuminated patches highlighted the stark fatigue etched into her features, the apathy that deepened the lines around her eyes and mouth.

Her voice, hauntingly beautiful yet laden with melancholy, filled the space as she sang. The sound carried her resignation, her fractured psyche, and a mourning for who she once was, what she had become, and who Astarion had been. Each note seemed to hang in the air, a spectral presence that tugged at Astarion's heart, reminding him of the man he once was and the love he had lost, as Sima sang:

“I am the monster you created

You ripped out all my parts

And worst of all, for me to live, I gotta kill the part of me that saw

That I needed you more

I hope you know we had everything

And you broke me and left these pieces

I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and

I want you to lose like I lose when I play

what could have been

Oh, what could have been.....”

Each verse was a dagger, her sorrow and rage woven into a melody that spoke more eloquently than words ever could. Astarion stood just beyond the bars, her song striking chords within him that had long been silent. The pain in her voice—the raw, unfiltered heartbreak—mirrored his own hidden fractures, revealing the deep, aching void where something beautiful had once dwelled.

As the haunting echo of her last note lingered in the stale dungeon air, a deep sadness enveloped Astarion. Memories of love intertwined with pain and betrayal surged forward, bringing with them an uninvited sensation: guilt. He hadn't expected the sheer force of her music to unravel him so, stripping away layers of his hardened exterior to expose his core. Regret hit him sharply, an unwelcome yet unmistakable pulse within him.

Attempting to shake off this rare vulnerability, Astarion stepped into the cell, his expression meticulously composed, his features arranged into a mask of necessity. "We need to talk," he murmured, his voice soft but imbued with a firm resolve. His eyes dwelled on her momentarily, noting the tear-streaked paths marking her cheeks, the wild disarray of her hair, and the haunting emptiness that lingered in her gaze. Each detail clawed at him, reminding him of the depths of despair she had plummeted to, and how much of it was his doing.

"The Vampire Ascendant shows his face at last. Excuse me if I don't bow," Sima replied, her voice tinged with biting sarcasm, hollow yet defiant. Her dismissal, though anticipated, stung him slightly. He smirked briefly, absorbing the sharpness of her words.

"You're right; I am here. I'm here because I want to talk. About us," he pressed on, his voice steady despite the walls she erected. The walls she had every right to build, considering how he had shattered her trust.

Sima rolled her eyes. "Us? Well, I loved an elf and spawn who no longer exists. But please, I'm all pointy ears," she retorted, her dismissal striking deeper than he cared to admit. Her words were laced with grief and anger, twisting inside him, painfully reminding him of the person he used to be.

"Yes, I'm a vampire lord. But I am still me. At my core. I'm still the person who loved you," Astarion replied, his voice a blend of sincerity and desperation. Was he convincing her, or himself? The lines between past and present, love and dominion, blurred within him. His heart ached with the weight of his words, a desperate attempt to hold onto the shreds of their former connection.

"Is that everything? Or can you please get to the point?" Sima's voice snapped him back to the present, her weariness evident even in her impatience. Her tone was sharp, cutting through his resolve like a knife, each word a thorn that deepened the chasm between them.

"Straight to it then. I want to turn you into a vampire," Astarion revealed, watching her closely for any flicker of emotion. The admission was heavy, laden with the gravity of his intentions, a declaration that hung in the air like a storm cloud.

Sima raised her eyebrows, her lips curving into a sardonic smile. "Riveting," she harshly quipped, hiding the true tenor of her fears. Her eyes widened slightly, her fists clenching as fear twisted in her gut. What if she became what he wanted? The thought was terrifying, not just for the physical transformation, but for what it symbolized—the loss of her autonomy and humanity. Beneath her defiant facade, she braced herself for the unknown, her heart pounding at the prospect of the dark path ahead.

As Astarion paced the dimly lit dungeon floor, a slight smirk hinted that Sima's sharp retorts hadn't quenched his resolve but rather fueled it. Her spirited defiance, even in chains, reassured him. She was still there—fiery, indomitable. This spark, even amidst despair, was a beacon he clung to.

"You're an intelligent woman. I assume you’ve figured it out, but... what I want from you is more than just making you a vampire," he said, stepping closer. His words were laced with an unspoken plea, hoping she would see beyond his monstrous facade.

"Oh? A true vampire? A bride? Gods, this sounds like a deluded, tawdry novel," Sima snarked, her voice laced with disdain but underscored by clarity. Her mockery was a shield against the painful reality of his words.

He chuckled, amused by her spirit. "Yes, a bride, with all the trappings and... liberties that might come with it," he replied, hinting at possibilities within their bond.

Sima’s bitter laugh echoed against the stone walls. "Liberties? Now, who's deluded? You mean trapped. A rag doll for your fantasies, your control. You'd kill my mind and own my body. You'd kill the greatest part of me, my defiance. Even as a true vampire, you will not compel me, but I'd be tied to the thing that killed the person I loved. So, kindly... Fuck off." Her voice broke with the weight of her accusations, each word a dagger slicing through his façade.

Her words pierced him like an arrow to the heart, stripping away pretense and deception. Cornered and laid bare, he mustered a bitter laugh, his lips twisting into a snarl. "Perhaps you are not as intelligent as I thought. I shall have to break you, make you mine by whatever means. That is, if you do not submit willingly," he hissed, his voice reflecting the battle between his desire for her and the dark compulsion that drove him.

"There he is... the Ascendant," Sima said, her voice cracking with rage and heartbreak. "Don't pretend to love me like my Astarion did. He was... everything to me. You destroyed my chance to return him to me." Her raw pain was a stark contrast to her earlier defiance, revealing her vulnerability.

For a fleeting moment, Astarion’s mask cracked, revealing genuine pain. "Sima...Sima, I was that man once, but no longer. He is, as you say, destroyed. I am all you have left of him. And I will take what I wish." His voice trembled with the weight of his confession, a mixture of sorrow and determination.

"I'll die first. I won't go down without a fight," she retorted fiercely, her eyes narrowing with determination.

Astarion’s laughter echoed through the dungeon. "As if you could beat me..." He gestured broadly. "I am the most powerful figure in the city. There is no one who can challenge me. I'll take you if I want. But, I'd rather you come willingly..."

His words were a proclamation of dominance, yet beneath them lay a desperate plea for her willingness. The thought of breaking her spirit repelled and enticed him. What if she never yielded? Desperation masked by authority pulsed beneath every word.

"A challenge, then? What, you’ll wait a week and try to win me over? Is that your plan?" Sima’s curiosity was audible, intrigued by the notion of a contest of wills.

"A game, perhaps?" He smirked. "I shall endeavor to win you over, and if I cannot, I will simply take you by force. The prize stays the same, no matter when I claim it." His voice was a mixture of confidence and anticipation.

Astarion's words hung heavy in the dungeon's charged air. "Ah, lovely. Take me by force—do you mean that as turning me, or are you a complete degenerate like Cazador now?" Sima snapped, her voice cutting sharply across the cold stone.

"Do not mistake me for Cazador. I shall not force myself upon you. I will only force you to become a vampire if that is what it takes to make you mine," he declared, his hand extending in a gesture between invitation and decree. The thought of becoming the monster he despised twisted his insides with pain and anger.

Sima shook her head, her hair falling in disheveled strands around her face. "The fact that you don't see the forced turn as something cruel speaks volumes of your true nature. How am I to know I won't endure a life of rape and torture? How am I to know you won't do to me what Cazador did to you, even if I am granted the freedom of true vampirism? That is what you fail to understand. As for the man you were and the one you've become... my heart can only yearn for the past." Her voice trembled with the weight of her fears, each word laced with the agony of her internal conflict. She couldn't reconcile the man she loved with the creature he had become, and the uncertainty of her fate loomed like a dark specter.

Astarion's expression darkened, a storm gathering in his eyes. The comparison to Cazador hit him like a lash, anger flaring in his chest. The nerve of her—comparing me to that fiend. Memories of Cazador's sadistic grin and the endless nights of torment flashed through his mind. I endured hell to escape that monster's clutches, and she dares to see me in the same light? The insult burned, stoking his fury.

"Do not ever compare me to Cazador," he snapped, his voice a sharp crack in the oppressive air. "I am nothing like him. I would never subject you to the horrors he inflicted upon me. You don't understand... I am trying to save us, to keep us together." His hand dropped, clenched into a fist at his side, as if the physical tension could contain the torrent of emotions threatening to overwhelm him.

Sima's eyes widened at his outburst, but she did not retreat. "And yet, you speak of forcing me to turn as if it's any different. You think you can save us by stripping away my choice? How can you not see the cruelty in that?" Her defiance was unwavering, but beneath it lay a glimmer of understanding. She saw the pain in his eyes, the struggle between his desire to protect her and the fear of becoming the very thing he despised.

Astarion's anger wavered, giving way to a desperate plea. "Sima, I am not Cazador. I will never be him. But I cannot lose you. The thought of an eternity without you is unbearable. Can you not see that I am trying to find a way for us to be together?" His voice trembled with the weight of his confession, a mixture of sorrow and determination.

Her accusations resonated within him, each one a painful reminder of his own fears. He couldn't deny the truth in her words. The man he once was, compassionate and loving, seemed like a distant memory, overshadowed by the power and darkness that now defined him. The thought of causing her pain, of becoming a reflection of Cazador, filled him with bitter self-loathing. Could she ever see past the monster he had become?

"The past is all that it is,” he asserted. “You will never get it back. I know that as well as anyone. So, yes... I'll force your transformation. And then we can be happy and together. I promise I will not use you as he used me. I want an equal in this, not a toy to be abused." His words were a mix of desperation and determination, the promise of a twisted kind of love.

"Says the man who put me in a dungeon cell," Sima replied dryly, her voice dripping with irony.

"You are a dangerous, unpredictable elf. I couldn't let you run off," Astarion countered, his smile a wistful shadow of its former charm. "Even if, in some way, I knew you would not succeed, because you would always return to me. We may fight, but we will always have each other, in the end. I will force your transformation, one way or another. And, after that... Everything will be perfect. Nothing matters but us. Everything else can burn." His eyes glinted with a mix of longing and dark, twisted pleasure. The conflict and defiance between them was a game he relished, a foreplay that ignited his desires.

Sima’s smile twisted into something unhinged and wild, a reflection of the chaos swirling within her. "If you force me to become what you are, I will burn this palace to the ground, damn the consequences. And then, I will burn myself to ash, and you with me."

"My... what kind of threat is that?" Astarion hissed. To Sima’s surprise, his earlier confidence faltered, yielding to a visage stricken with horror. When he spoke again, his words were soft. "I would rather die without you than have you do that,” he said, his voice shaking. “No. I would rather suffer a thousand years of torment with you than see you choose death. Is... is that really a threat, or is it a plea? Why do you hate me so much?" The realization that she might prefer death over being with him cut through his bravado, leaving a raw wound.

Sima exhaled a long, weary sigh, the feeble light casting a patchwork of shadows over her gaunt features. "Every part of me that longs for you also drives me mad. Every piece of my heart that you used to touch so softly has been shattered. How can I envision falling into your arms again when every encounter with you brings me more agony and hatred?" Her voice wavered, a mixture of sorrow and anger tearing at her soul.

"You once told me at camp that love is a double-edged sword. By the gods, how right you were," Sima choked out, her voice heavy with the weight of her memories.

"Is that... really true? Do you... still love me?" whispered Astarion in disbelief. The vulnerability in his voice was a stark contrast to his usual arrogance, a glimpse of the man he once was.

His voice softened, almost breaking with emotion as he stepped closer, his shadow merging with hers in the dim light. "I'll take everything that's left in you. I'll take your hatred as well as your love. I'll take every part of you, because, after all, you are mine. If you want to tear me apart and then rebuild me... I will allow it." His declaration was filled with a desperate need for her acceptance, even if it meant enduring her wrath.

"How can one cherish the flame when they know it's destined to consume them?" Sima challenged, her voice steady and fierce, her eyes burning with rebellion. The fire within her was both a beacon and a curse, drawing her towards destruction.

Astarion paused, a single tear betraying the turmoil inside him. "Do you really think our love is like that? A bright but painful thing that will eventually burn out and sear you?"

Sima leaned back and laughed, the sound bitter and resonant in the stone chamber. "I'm already burning to death. You have no idea what I did to get that Wish spell, aside from murdering seven innocents. Believe me, the flames are well and truly lit," she concluded, her voice echoing off the walls, heavy with inevitability and resignation.

A flicker of emotion crossed Astarion’s face as he hesitated. His eyes closed momentarily, bracing himself against the ache that pierced his heart every time he envisioned her suffering.

"Would... would it help to know that I see the same thing you do? That I see you dying before my eyes, and that it tears me apart? What is love, if not the desire to keep someone from harm, a desire to make them safe? I want nothing more than to protect you from every pain in the world, if only you would let me." His voice was a raw plea, his own torment mirroring hers.

"And is that enough to endure? Is that enough to make the existence of eternity with this torment in my soul worth it?" Sima replied, her voice deadly calm. Her words were a challenge, a demand for him to prove that his love could withstand the hell they were in.

Astarion's expression set into a mask of resolute determination, his features hardening like the ancient stones that made up the dungeon walls. "You are my love. You are my life. I will do everything to make whatever time you have left the best it can be. And when the time comes, if I must bear the cost of eternity without you... I may just turn into the monster you already think I am." His vow was both a promise and a threat, a declaration of his willingness to endure any torment for her sake.

Sima's gaze lifted, piercing through him. “What if I won’t turn? What if I do, and try to take my own life as well as yours? If you were to survive all that, what would you do? Burn Baldur’s Gate to the ground?” she asked, her voice bitter.

Astarion’s jaw clenched. When he spoke, his words were soft, yet they reverberated off the surrounding stone. "If you were gone? I would raze this entire damnable world to ash. Leave nothing but a scorched husk as a monument to what I have lost." The thought of losing her was unbearable; the pain would be so immense that he could only envision obliterating everything as a testament to his grief.

Sima's laughter was brittle—the laughter of a madwoman. "Of course you'd make Faerûn pay for your own sins. Gods, you can't take a lick of responsibility for any of this, can you? Even if you were... him, the man I loved, what does it even matter? I see you, and I hate you for what you took from me. And it's so much more now than before. Look at me!" She laughed again, the sound hollow and haunting. "I am a ghost. I died the day you completed the ritual."

"I will take every bit of responsibility there is to take," Astarion said, his voice brimming with fierce, palpable anger. He advanced a step, staring down at her. "Don't you dare try and make me out to be some selfish coward. I'll take my punishment a hundred times over if it means I have you, only you, for eternity. Is nothing worth that to you?"

His indignation flared; how could she think he wouldn't accept responsibility? The resentment stung, but beneath it, genuine grief simmered. He mourned what they had lost, each harsh word from her a reminder of the love tainted by his transformation. Her defiance, though, ignited a dark pleasure within him. Her fierce resistance thrilled him, a primal game of one-upmanship that fed his desire to dominate and possess her completely. He would take anything from her—her love, her hate, her resentment—anything but losing her. Deep down, he believed that through this conflict, they could reclaim a semblance of their bond.

Sima smiled—a twisted caricature of amusement. "I'm afraid if you came here seeking absolution, I am not a cleric of Ilmater. No alms for the poor, poor Lord Ancunín and his utterly insane whore—I mean, bride-to-be." Her words were laced with venom, striking at his pride. She hated how he couldn't even allow her to degrade herself. It was as if he wanted to possess every part of her, even her pain. If she couldn't have control over anything else, at least she could have control over her own suffering.

Astarion hissed in response, his demeanor shifting as humiliation and anger flashed across his features. The insinuation that he saw her as nothing more than a "whore," stoked a fire of indignation within him. He wanted to possess her, to make her his in every way, but hearing her demean herself—and by extension, him—was intolerable. 

In a moment, he was upon her, his presence overwhelming as he closed the distance and gripped her throat, crimson eyes flashing. "If not for yourself, for the sake of this world you've had the arrogance to condemn yourself to for all eternity, then at least show some sense of self-preservation and let me hear no more of that filth."

"Am I not even allowed to call myself what you intend to make me?" Sima asked, seemingly oblivious to the hand around her throat. Her calmness amidst his fury only fueled his internal conflict. How dare he try to take even this from her? Her pain was hers alone, and she would not let him control that too.

That response stunned him. His grip loosened, and he searched her face, presumably for signs of the woman he once knew. "I would make you a queen among vampires. A goddess among men. A vampire bride, akin to a lord. An equal in power to me. Not a 'whore' to be passed around. Never that." His voice wavered, torn between the darkness that defined him and the love he still clung to.

"No, just your whore. No choice, no way to say no. Yes, what woman wouldn't throw herself at that?" Sima scoffed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. The bitterness in her words cut deep, leaving Astarion reeling from the implications.

Astarion stepped back abruptly, releasing her completely as he took a sharp breath. "Do you have any idea what I've had to endure? How much pain I've suffered? And you, who has suffered so much of the same, just assume I would inflict it on someone I love? Have you learned nothing—have you lost your mind?” His voice cracked with raw emotion, a blend of anger and desperation.

Sima slumped against the cold, damp wall of the dungeon, her figure shrouded in the dim light. "Oh yes, I am completely insane. Like I said. You seem to have missed that,” she declared. The resignation in her voice was a stark contrast to her earlier defiance. She needed to rebel against him, against the image he had of her, to maintain some semblance of agency, even in her own madness.

Astarion paused, a flicker of concern crossing his features before his eyes widened, struck by the haunting memory of her earlier laughter over his quest for absolution. "Wait. This isn't about justice for you. This isn't even about... me. This is you punishing yourself, isn’t it? Because you blame yourself for this. You think you're some kind of sinner, don't you?"

Anger sparked in Sima’s eyes, overtaking her previous veil of apathy. "Fuck you,” she spat. “You are responsible for this. You took the person I loved away from me!" The fury in her voice was palpable, a force of nature that matched his own.

Taken aback by her words, Astarion finally sensed the raw, undiluted fury simmering within her; the road to any form of reconciliation, if ever possible, seemed fraught with pain and resistance. Yet, he believed he had begun to unravel the enigma of her wrath. "Let me get this straight. I'm the devil here, right? And you're just an innocent victim? Really?" His sarcasm dripped with venom, striking at the heart of her struggle.

The sarcasm in his tone was too much, too close to that tender spot in her heart—the last remnant of her identity tethered to guilt and mortality. Without thinking, she surged to her feet and hurled herself at him, driven by a primal, desperate need to protect the last vestige of who she once was.

Astarion, utterly unprepared for her ferocity, just barely managed to catch her by the hair, holding her at arm’s length as she thrashed wildly. Her limbs flailed around, trying to break free of his hold. The nerve of her, to try and attack him after everything he’d done for her, having kept her alive during their previous battles and what he was offering her. Still, he couldn’t deny the emotion stirring inside him. Pointless as it was, her spirited defense had to be admired.

"Well. That's different. You just tried to kill me," he snarled, a note of disbelief coloring his voice as he struggled to contain her.

Sima fought like a creature cornered, her every action fueled by the mingling of profound guilt and the relentless urge to preserve the only part of her that felt genuine remorse—the part that still cared, that still felt. Astarion could overpower her easily, charm her into submission, or even end her life, yet he found himself frozen, captivated by the untamed wildness of her assault.

"You really... aren't holding back here," he bit out, gritting his teeth as he tightened his grip. "I have to admire that. Gods, I can't believe I missed it..."

"You know nothing—nothing—about me!" Sima screamed, her nails seeking his flesh in a wild attempt to mar his face.

When her words struck him, Astarion snapped into motion, not with a blow but with a swift grasp of her wrists, pulling her close. His whisper was furious, a hot breath against her ear, "I. Know. Everything. I have been obsessed, my dear. Obsessed with learning who and what you really are. For all that you claim you are uncaring and cold and unaffected—" He pulled back slightly, his eyes piercing hers, "—I know what you are hiding."

Driven by a desperate need to escape, to flee the entity that sought to strip away her last shreds of self, Sima unleashed a Shatter spell at sixth level. The spell erupted with a deafening roar, the force of the shockwave sending Astarion staggering backward, fragments of the stone doorway crumbling around him. He hit the ground hard, the impact jarring his bones, and he groaned as pain shot through his body, dazed by the sudden explosion of power.

"Shatter. Of course, your bloody spellpower hasn’t waned... yet," Astarion said as he slowly regained his footing, a mix of respect and wariness settling into his tone.

Sima, seizing the moment, dashed toward the cell door, her mind set on reaching the ritual room where it all began—the place she might finally put an end to this torment. Her steps echoed in the hollow silence of the dungeon as she fled.

Under the flickering shadows of the dungeon, Astarion's expression transformed into a twisted smile, his eyes gleaming an infernal red. This chromatic shift spoke not of anger but of a disturbing exhilaration. His whole demeanor radiated an unsettling glee, as if the unfolding chaos were a spectacle crafted for his amusement.

As she ran, Sima’s boots pounded against the ancient emerald stonework of the dungeon corridor, each step matching the frantic beat of her heart. She sprinted toward the haunting ritual chamber, the place stained by the echoes of 7,000 souls who had perished under sinister rites. The air around her grew heavier as she neared the epicenter of past horrors, the very stones whispering tales of despair.

Hot on her heels, Astarion pursued with supernatural swiftness, his inhuman speed a blur against the mossy stones. He enjoyed the chase. It was a game to him, a macabre dance between predator and prey, and he relished every moment, allowing her the illusion of hope just to savor her eventual loss.

In a desperate bid to escape, Sima whirled and unleashed a seventh-level Fireball. Astarion dodged with the grace of a specter, the flames nipping at his heels, his grin morphing into a monstrous smirk as he admired her tenacity and power.

When he finally caught her, his grip was unyielding as he pinned her to the cold, damp ground. Sima's body hit the stone with a sickening thud, pain radiating through her limbs. Astarion's eyes sparkled with a mix of admiration and curiosity, eager to witness the extent of her magical prowess up close. Her defiance and the struggle thrilled him, a twisted foreplay that fed his dark desires. He didn’t want to hurt her, but the conflict, the chase, and the fierce resistance aroused him in a way he couldn't deny.

The ritual chamber that loomed before them was a cavernous space, its architecture a grim testament to the dark arts. The floor was a mosaic of emerald green tourmaline, each block reflecting the sparse light in haunting hues. Gigantic gemstone windows cast a spectral glow across the chamber, while above, cages hung like macabre ornaments, suspended by thick chains that swayed gently with some unfelt breeze. In the center, a once blood-stained tourmaline platform stood ominously empty, the air around it thick with the residue of dark magic.

With a sudden burst of energy, Sima kicked Astarion squarely, the force of the blow making him stagger back. Seizing the moment, she dashed toward the dais. She knew one of the cages functioned as an elevator to the sewers—a potential route to freedom.

Astarion, momentarily winded, chuckled at her defiance and quickly recovered. His response was swift, a predatory sprint that closed the distance between them in a heartbeat. Just as Sima reached the cage, he enveloped her in a grasp that spun her back onto the dais. Her body slammed against the hard tourmaline with a thud, a sharp pain shooting through her side as the impact bruised her ribs.

"What do you want from me? I hate you! I don’t want anything from you!" Sima cried out, the pain and fury in her voice reverberating off the ancient stones.

His laughter was low and menacing as he pinned her hands above her head, his body looming over hers. "I know, darling. But that's alright, because I don't need anything from you. You're mine. That's all I want right now," he whispered, his face inches from hers, his breath mingling with the dank air of the dungeon.

"You're just like Cazador!” Sima spat, struggling once again to break free. “Just like him! Every minute of every day you will condemn me to a life of being your whore, even if I am a true vampire. Why? Why would I want that!"

"Because you love me," Astarion murmured, his voice soft yet chilling as he leaned closer, his dark crimson eyes locking onto hers with a palpable intensity. "You are the other half of me, the piece that's been missing. And, yes, I want to make you a vampire, to bind you to me in every way—but not as a curse. As a union, Sima. We are meant to be together," he confessed, his tone blending desperation with a twisted sense of destiny.

"If you think I want to be violated for eternity, you are insane!” Sima exclaimed furiously. “And you say you are still part of the elf who I loved? He would never have forced himself on me!"

As he leaned close, his breath hot against her cheek, his voice was a silky purr. "Are you sure?" His gaze was unyielding, eyes locked onto hers with a ferocity that felt like it could pierce her soul. In his eyes, there was no room for negotiation; his desire for control was tangible, fueled not merely by lust but by a craving for absolute dominion over her.

"Don’t you dare besmirch his memory, my Astarion who loved me! He would never… could never do that to me!" Sima responded, her voice thick with anger.

"A love is what you want from me... a type of love that I can't give you," he murmured, his smile chilling as his eyes darkened, the inner turmoil of his desires manifesting as a growing hunger. He believed in his twisted love for her, a passion that was anything but cold, yet he knew she could only see the monster, not the man consumed by a profound and complicated love.

Pinned beneath him on the cold dais, Sima writhed in desperation, trying to turn her face away from his, her disgust and rage mingling with the physical pain of her bruised ribs and weary limbs. Her energy was fading, each movement a testament to her waning strength against his overpowering presence.

Astarion watched her struggle, his laugh echoing around the stone chamber—not out of cruelty but from a dark amusement. Reminiscing about their first encounter so long ago on a beach in Elturel, he whispered close to her ear, inhaling the scent of her hair, "You're so pretty when you're angry, darling..." His heart hoped that the sweet words would finally disarm her.

"You said a week—you would give me a week to decide… What if I agreed?" Sima's voice held a faint trace of bargaining, seeking a reprieve, a sliver of autonomy.

Caught off guard, his gaze softened slightly, his posture easing as he contemplated her offer. A part of him, the remnant of the man who once loved her deeply, flickered within him, stirred by her plea. He loosened his grip.

"Just to be clear, if I do not agree—at least with how you see things now—I am presuming you will force the change on me regardless?" Sima's tone was resolute, her eyes steely as she prepared for any outcome.

"Of course. I will not risk losing you again. One way or another, I will have you with me for eternity. But…Please, do not force me to make that decision. I want—I need you to want this," he replied fervently, his tone desperate but pleading. The desperation in his voice was palpable, a mix of longing and fear. He needed her to understand, to choose him willingly, but the darkness within him whispered otherwise.

Sima's gaze hardened, but there was also a flicker of something else—an old wound, a fear that he might strip away the last vestiges of her autonomy. "Be prepared for the consequences of your actions then, because I will be prepared for mine. Now, let me go this instant. You have your bargain. I'm presuming some insane courtship or persuasion will be coming. Let me up."

"I promise... I will court you," Astarion conceded with a grin, his face still close to hers, his dark crimson eyes a swirling mix of dark intentions and flickering hope. He released her, rolling aside to sit upright, crossing his legs and watching her with both a hint of cruelty and a newly kindled spark of anticipation. The game had changed, but it was still a game to him, a twisted dance of power and desire.

Sima drew herself up to her full height, putting distance between them with a measured step backward. "You disgust me," she said coldly.

Astarion's smile faltered, crumpling into genuine hurt. His eyes shimmered with moisture, and the ache he fought to repress grew in his chest. The words sliced through the remnants of their shared past, revealing the raw nerve of his unrequited affections. Yet, he steeled himself against this weakness, the heavy weight of his immortal existence pressing down upon him. With a snarl, he stepped closer, his voice turning cold. "You are being unreasonable."

"That's what grief will do to you, especially when it hardens into hatred,” Sima retorted, her words echoing off the stone walls, filled with venom. “So, am I to be returned to my cell, then? Or treated with some decency, if you are capable of it?"

"You are my guest," he hissed back, his jaw tensing as his eyes narrowed. Despite his anger, he restrained himself, turning away from her. Perhaps, he thought, she might yet be swayed by promises of a gilded cage rather than an iron one.

"Which means?" Sima arched an eyebrow, her tone laced with skepticism.

"Which means... which means..." He struggled for a moment, then turned back to face her. Her presence, so close, yet so far removed from his reach, reignited a familiar desire—a longing to bridge the chasm between them with a touch, a kiss. Shaking his head to dispel these dangerous notions, he admitted, "It means you're being held captive."

"So am I to be held in the palace then, rather than the dungeons?"

"The palace! This palace is your prison now. You'll simply get... nicer rooms and better food," he grumbled, his pride wounded. Truth be told, he hadn’t expected her to be so defiant even now. This entire situation was absurd.

Sima glanced up at the shadow of the man she once loved, now ensconced in the trappings of a pampered lord, and sighed in disgust at her fate. Yet, there was a part of her, perhaps touched by madness, that found a strange solace in the waiting game she now had to play. "Then get me the Hells out of this infernal place. I never want to see this ritual room again," she demanded.

His annoyance flared at her tone, but he masked it with a weary sigh, acknowledging her request with a reluctant nod. "Fine. I'll get my servants to put you into some better bedrooms. Just behave, hm? Don't think you're going to make a run for it, my love. I'm not that stupid."

Astarion’s internal conflict raged, the struggle between his love for her and his vampiric instincts creating a tumultuous storm within him. He hated the idea of hurting her, but his need for control and possession was overwhelming. Sima's defiance, her fierce spirit, only fueled his desire, making the game all the more intoxicating. As they left the ritual chamber, the echoes of their past clung to the air, a haunting reminder of what once was and what could never be again.

The new chambers assigned to Sima were a stark contrast to the dank dungeon below. Opulent and bathed in natural light, the rooms boasted marble floors and walls draped with pale green silk and deep crimson velvet. Delicate golden filigree adorned the furniture, while crystal chandeliers cast sparkling reflections across the room. An ivory desk sat against one wall, a deep crimson velvet couch against another, and a large mirror framed with the Ancunin coat of arms dominated one side of the room, reflecting a world of deceptive luxury.

Sima entered the room, her bag of holding—a remnant of her time in the cells—still in her possession. She turned to face Astarion, who had followed her up. "What happened to them—my friends? Your spawn captured them, but they didn't come for me after I tried the Wish spell on you. I presume you had to let them go, considering Duke Wyll was in on the plan?"

Astarion’s brow furrowed in irritation. He wasn’t pleased that she still controlled her possessions, but he was unwilling to strip them from her forcibly—it wouldn’t befit his status, nor would it aid his cause. Instead, he forced a smile that did not quite reach his eyes. "They came to me and made their case. After some negotiation..." His voice hardened as he met her gaze. "The Duke is quite persuasive. I allowed them to go."

"And none came for me? Not one?" Sima’s voice carried a mix of disbelief and a dawning chill of abandonment. Each word felt like a betrayal, deepening the chasm of isolation that threatened to engulf her.

Avoiding her piercing stare, Astarion's eyes clouded over with a wave of unspoken thoughts. "I had hoped they would persuade you to join me willingly, under the guise that you were a reluctant yet open captive. That was the agreement they sought. So I consented, in a moment of what I believed to be magnanimity—or perhaps folly."

"You misled them about my stay, then. They assume you're actually offering me a choice?" Sima's tone was sharp, cutting through the façade of diplomatic exchange to the heart of his deceit.

His response was a cold glare, a frost settling over his earlier feigned warmth. "Yes. They insisted on your autonomy in the decision. They desire for you to choose freely—even if that choice is to join me in eternal night," he admitted, his voice a blend of reluctance and hidden satisfaction.

Sima's expression hardened as she absorbed the full weight of his words, the stark reality of her isolation settling in like a heavy stone in her chest. "Then they are fools. They should have rescued me from you. They chose not to." Her voice trembled with a mix of anger and despair, the betrayal of her friends cutting deeper than she had anticipated.

Astarion watched her, a complex play of emotions flickering across his face. The shadows in the room seemed to deepen, mirroring the hollow emptiness blossoming within Sima as she faced the grim truth of her abandonment, surrounded by opulence but bereft of any true ally. He felt a pang of regret, a fleeting whisper of the man he once was, buried beneath the weight of his vampiric nature. Yet, his desire to keep her close, to ensure she remained with him, was equally strong. It was a delicate balance of love and possessiveness, each step a careful dance between his old self and the darkness that now defined him.

"This palace may be your prison, but it can also be your sanctuary. If you choose to see it that way," he murmured, the words a seductive promise wrapped in a plea for understanding. He didn’t want to hurt her, but his need to not lose her drove his every action.

Sima’s breath hitched slightly, her mind racing. The grandeur around her felt like a mockery of the freedom she once had. Each luxurious detail seemed to taunt her, a reminder of her captivity dressed in silk and gold. She wanted to lash out, to break free, but the reality of her situation weighed heavily on her spirit. The opulence of the room clashed violently with the raw wound in her heart, a wound reopened by Astarion's presence and his manipulations.

"You claim to retain some part of him?” Sima asked, her voice steadier now, though an undercurrent of fear and an old wound lingered. “If that's true, then grant me this week... After that, I'll make my decision. Your actions on that final day will speak for themselves. I might resist you, or perhaps I won't—but if your love for me is genuine, you’ll respect that the choice must be mine."

Her words seemed to reach the remnants of the man he once was, appealing to a past that still haunted the fringes of his transformed self. The memories of their shared moments, the tenderness that once existed, flickered in the dark recesses of his mind, a ghost of his former self. His eyes softened momentarily, reflecting a glimmer of the love he once held for her, but the conflict within him was palpable.

Sima glanced up at the shadow of the man she once loved, now ensconced in the trappings of a pampered lord, and sighed in disgust at her fate. Hugging her side, she felt the sharp pain in her ribs—a cruel reminder of their physical battle. Yet, there was a part of her, perhaps touched by madness, that found a strange solace in the waiting game she now had to play. The weight of her isolation pressed heavily upon her, the realization that she was surrounded by opulence but bereft of any true ally. It was a cold comfort, a gilded prison, and she felt the full measure of her abandonment settling over her like a suffocating shroud.

Her heart sank further, the isolation deepening as she faced the reality of her beautiful cage. The opulence around her felt hollow, a stark contrast to the raw wound in her heart. She was alone, truly alone, in a world that had turned its back on her. The sharp clarity of her pain only reinforced what she had always known: the only one who could save her now was herself.

[tomorrowillbeyou]

11 20 42 59 !!

HAIIIII WASP :3

11. are you listening to music right now

Yesssss im listening to everything you ever wanted to know about silence.... the spotify link poster 💘 i wasn't before though i got it stuck in my head wgile i wasnt doing anything and then posted it and then i put it on .. loveeeee this song

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

SOOOOOOOOO HARD question i love sooooooo many songs... umm just on the metric of the song i keep coming back to the most atm that i love a lot it would be the reason the night is long by rainer maria.... i love it soooooooo much it is so beautiful and awsome to listen to ajd close my eyes and dance a little.. I imagine tonight that we could get along ‼️‼️

42. favourite book

A ROOM WITH A VIEW!!!!^_^ my favouriteeee book ever ive read it like 7 or 8 times at least it makes me smile & is kind of a comfort to me... i bring it with me on trips even if i don't intend to read it .... its like a security blanket to me 💘 i read it in like year 12 first and liked it fine and then my class were assigned it for our a level coursework project and i read it again and again and learned more about it and was like Holyyyy shit this is epicness... Yea i love this book

59. why i joined tumblr

ummm well believe it or not i used to be on google plus when i was like 11.. Oh boy if u think tumblr is bad .. that place was a freakin lawless wasteland . but i was in a "community" where people posted tumblr screenshots they were all like old as fuck supernatural and homestuck jokes but i thought Huh this websites pretty funny.. let's get in on it.... yea that was in like 2015... its been a little while

LOVE U WASPPPP thanks 4 the ask 😁

[goldenslumbersketchbook]

WELCOME TO MY SKETCHBOOK

Personal sketchbook blog for me to post mainly stuff for Rise of the Guardians and The Big Four. Tumblr exclusive do not repost on other sites. I don’t own the characters, this is just for fun and to log my ideas and doodles, I hope it brings joy. 🌻 🌻 💌

Quick links to my AUs, tags, comics and more.

Common AU Tags 🏷️

Pitch’s Baby Teeth - An AU were a pair of Tooth’s little fairies decided that Pitch is a better caretaker and choose to stay with him.

Comics: Origins , Spoiled Rotten , Custody Battle

The Big Four - Jack, Merida, Hiccup, and Rapunzel as friends, mostly in a modern setting.

Series: Fashion Passion, Modern AU, Ghost and Seer, MHA

Devious Overland - Jack couldn’t save Mary, now they are both trouble making spirits

Comics: Awakening , How , Mama , New look

Punk Siblings AU - Hiccup, Dagur, and Heather are adoptive siblings who are in a punk rock band. (They are bad with directions.)

Series: Guitars, Karaoke, Battle of the Bands (coming soon)

Overland Witch - Mary Overland becomes a witch and desperately tries to find her dead brother’s soul.

Comics: Origins , Search , Variable , Trial (august) , part 5 (tba)

Moon Scythe - Katherine with a scythe! What could go wrong?

Series: Chosen to Wield Gold , Animated Spin

Common Character Tags 🏷️

Rise of the Guardians/ Guardians of Childhood: Jack Frost, Toothiana, North, Bunnymund, Sandy, Pitch Black , Jamie, Sophie, Baby Tooth, Mary Overland, Katherine, Lady Pitchiner, Mother Nature, Nightlight, Ombric

How to Train Your Dragon: Astrid, Hiccup, Heather, Dagur, Thorston Twins, Viggo, Toothless

Other: Rapunzel, Flynn, Merida, Mavis, Anna/Elsa, Hiro Hamada

-

Miscellaneous Tags 🏷️

Fandom Events: rotghalloween , rotghopeweek, Mermay, rotgbingo, bigfourfest, rotgsecretsanta

Fun Things: Activities, Memes, Mixtapes, Speedpaints, Videos

Platform related to this sketchbook: Spotify , YouTube

Last Edited: June 9, 2024

[spngeorg]

Episode 128 - 7.02 Hello, Cruel World

And boy is it ever cruel! The subtitle there refers to the plot climax of this one, but also to season seven as a whole. The entire thing is built on pain being the key to reality, and doesn't that just suck! Like, massively! It sucks for Sam, it sucks for Dean, and it sucks for all of us! But we shall endure. :'D

We lose Cas right at the start, and then Dean carries his coat away like a widow leaving a soldier's funeral with a flag, and that sets the stage for his grief and guilt for the first long segment of the season. Meanwhile, Sam's just not coping well with his smashed walls and resurfacing Hell trauma, and using Dean's technique of repressing and denying is really, really not working for him.

So, bring on the pain and losses and gooey jerks who are this season's Big Bad-- a metaphor for capitalism. Wheee.

LINKS!

The Superwiki page (with loads of bts photos from director Guy Bee)

My tag

Filming locations map

Commentary from Serge Ladouceur

Lizbob’s Dean and Cas are In Love series (part 1) (part 2)

Promo clip 1, Promo clip 2 (that has that sort of corporate ad vibe s7 plays into…) (for the record, this is the last time I'll include promo clips here, since they're all linked from the Superwiki page if you're interested... I'm trying to save word count for posting purposes, and we'll see how that goes!

Questions, concerns, comments? Contact me here on tumblr (through the inbox or dm's, I'm around a lot), on Bluesky, on discord as mittensmorgul, or via email at mittensmorgul @ gmail. :)

Listen now on Spotify, or wherever you enjoy podcasts!

[milligramspoison]

Third poll incoming!

Below the cut will be (some) of the album links since tumblr will only let me put 10 Spotify links 😍

[yumdimsums]

Let’s talk about KAZUI‼️‼️‼️

CW: S//cide

Yes something that’s NOT Adachi

Recently, his new trial video came out, called “Cat” and it’s honestly such a banger. Here is the link to the video, highly recommend to watch first before reading!

This is my theory and brain dump at 1 AM and my first ever big theory! There will most likely be disjointed and have grammar mistakes, but I hope it makes sense. If there are detrimental mistakes, please lmk, i want to make sure it’s not full of crap‼️

NOTES: I am not going to provide “Guilty or not guilty” here, you do you, I’m not interested in swaying opinions.

I will be fully assuming that the “Kazui is gay” theory to be true. I am not going to explain it myself because many people have already done that. Obviously, gay Kazui is not the only true, gospel answer to his character, there are multiple different interpretations that are all valid and I would be very interested in hearing different theories as well🤝.

I will also be using the tumblr post below for Voice Drama TL, thank you so much for the translation🙏

Outline

Ordered from “Yeah I have some good ideas” to “I’m not sure”

1. Background/Setting

2. Marriage, Cats, and Doves

3. Magic, Masquerade, & Drinking

4. The Bartender

5. Apples

6. Extra Details

(Crazy/Stretch theories will be in Italics)

Background/Setting

To understand Kazui’s story a little better, I would like to quickly go over when this is taking place.

Here we see the wife with a flip phone. This means that Kazui’s marriage was most likely around the late 90’s to early 2000’s. During that time, I believe that LGTBQ+ people were not as widely accepted and that there were still toxic gender stereotypes and expectations (I’m not 100% though hmu if I’m wrong 🙏). Kazui also stated that his parents find him embarrassing. It could be that they blame him for the wife’s death, but also because he is gay. If his parents come from an older generation, it’s no wonder that they find him embarrassing because they’re ignorant and terrible.

Marriage, Cats, and Doves

As everyone has discussed when this first came out, “Cat” shows a lot of different themes through cats, doves, magic, marriage, and apples. This section will go over the first three aspects.

Many have stated before that the dove represent his ring as, at the start, he turns his ring into the dove. Obviously, doves are well known for their symbolism of love, hope, and peace. While the dove is supposed to represent their marriage, I also think it ties with his wife, seeing how she seems to hope that their love will bring them happiness. Adding onto this, it also explains why he watched and invited the dove to fly onto his arm. He was “playing” or leading the dove to him. Then it cuts to his eye, blankly staring at the pristine white of the bird. Note that this eye is the same as the one at the end of the MV. It can be assumed that it represents how, at the beginning, he could suppress his true emotions and playing along, but at the end, he becomes feral and mutilates the bird. (Image below shows how different they take the marriage, he’s uncomfortable while she’s beaming with joy).

On the other hand, cats symbolize independence, intelligence, and cunning, something that Kazui shows throughout the MV through his intricate lies. I think he also has the “mannerisms” of a cat.

Here he says he “wanted to be touched”, showing his yearning to be in a comfortable, safe relationship with a man. However, due to gay relationships not being accepted back then, he is unable to experience this and becomes increasingly lonely. It’s similar to how cats are reclusive and tend to stay away until someone or something has something that interests them. (I’m not a cat expert so I might be wrong). While the previous lyrics do say “I just wanted to touch, to caress”, implying he wanted his wife, I think this is the wife’s thoughts who wanted to “caress” and “touch” aka get closer to Kazui. When the lyrics play, it pans over to her with the circles in the background pulsing quickly, referring to her quick heartbeat when she looks at him and how she desires to be with him.

Another theory as to what’s happening in that moment is that she’s assuming what he’s thinking. Kazui: “I just wanted…” Wife: “to touch, to caress” Kazui: “to be touched”. I also find it interesting that the circle from 0:27 shatters at 0:30.

The next lyric “So it’s wrong? Shove that!” Could be him wondering if wanting to be touched was wrong and “unmanly” of him. But, deep inside, he wants to scream out and say that he yearns for that feeling, that he wants to be loved, even if it didn’t fit the norm of “what a man should be”.

On to their really terrible marriage. There were lots of societal pressures to be married back in the day, so Kazui suddenly marrying a woman he didn’t even like was due to others expectations of him. Plus, Kazui wanted to be loved and he was feeling the consequences of loneliness, and this love she had felt for him seemed like an opportunity to somehow get what he wanted. A desperate attempt to receive love in a marriage he was fully disinterested in. 0:46 to 0:48 show this as he suddenly went from giving her flowers to wanting to marry her. It implies that he wanted this to go as fast as it could so he wouldn’t disappoint his family or be judged for being unmarried and gay, even if it costed his mental health and forced him to lie, which steadily declines throughout the MV until he finally cracks (further explained in 3).

The way he calls her his “victim” really says how he just used her to satisfy his own needs and also his extreme guilt for her death. This also foreshadows the coming violence as the perpetrator (cat) kills the victim (dove).

Lastly, him wanting to “keep it simple” is him hoping that she isn’t going to take their relationship super far. He wants to stay away from the more intimate part of the relationship, but it’s difficult since he just continues to lie and doesn’t talk about himself at all.

(I will be skipping ahead to the end as I want to save the rest of the details for later) Now we’re at the most famous part of the MV, him smoking and then absolutely devouring and mauling a dove. He most likely did all of this in a drunken state. 1) There’s a glass at 1:49 that slowly drops to the ground, possibly him losing his grip on reality or his literal grip on the glass thanks to drinking way too much. 2) From 2:13 to 2:19, he struggles to get up and holds his head, he even takes off his ring IN FRONT of her, something he’d never do if he was thinking straight because it would break his lies. (I’ll explain the drinking later on).

Finally, the violent part. We have no idea if the symbolism in this is exaggerated or if it’s 100% accurate, but judging from how much he hates himself, it’s probably over blown to an extent. So what does it mean? Well it definitely is supposed to show how he interpreted his outburst before his wife’s suicide. Him transitioning from perfectly calm (before smoke) to becoming this “evil” person (after smoke) is him showing that he doesn’t deserve forgiveness for what he’s done. Then, him killing the dove represents how he thought he said nasty or distasteful things. On top of that, it also represents how he believes he killed his wife by angerly venting his feelings out so much that pushed her over the edge, in other words, taking “chewing someone out” on a violent level. This is his interpretation of what happened though and I don’t think he exploded. Instead, I think he just made poor word choices. The two of them, or at least Kazui, lacked communication and due to his drunken state, he just blurted out what he was feeling. I don’t have any substantial evidence to back this up though, so take this last one with a grain of salt.

3. Magic, Masquerade, & Drinking

I LOVE the magic and masquerade symbolism in particular as it is pretty much how he views the whole relationship. He interprets his lies as these magic tricks that fools people on the outside into believing that yes he truly does love this woman. It’s also why he turned the ring into a dove in the first place, he just sees the marriage as a big magic show that he has to put on for as long as he can.

“Lie until it gets better, follow the king of masquerade.”

I really love this line because he refers to himself as the “king of masquerade”. He calls himself this because all his life, he’s been putting up these different personas and characteristics that aren’t him. It’s literally seen in “half” as he wear different clothing and keeps a mask on the entire time. He knows that if he were to drop this act, no one would truly accept him. He would be cast out and never have the opportunity to be loved again. So living a life of lies seemed to be the most viable option to him, but he also resents himself for it. He admits that he can’t live unless he lies, it truly is his only life line and a life line others rely on too (aka his wife).

“So l've tried to change! I've tried to change. I have tried to stop lying to myself and others! I've confided in others. I've tried to be myself! I've tried to just be the way I was born! It's not my lies that killed her. She's dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn't have died..! I can't live unless I lie. That's how I was born... I'm pathetic, aren't I?”

As is the magician’s code, he can’t reveal the secret to his “magic”.

However, all this lying obviously takes a toll on him as in the latter half of the MV, he starts drinking and smoking more. In each shot from 1:12 to 1:46 he is always seen indulging in his addictions. It’s his way to escape from reality and forget about his current relationship. What I find most interesting though is the meal he has with his wife. It seems they are celebrating something as the Ace of Spades (which hovers in between the two as they speak) symbolize good luck, hope, and change. They’re even drinking champagne and having a nice meal. What they could be celebrating though is beyond me, they’re probably on their first or third anniversary considering they look older? Besides that, there’s also the most interesting clip of a man when he holds up his champagne glass. I think that this is supposed to show that he uses drinking for more than just forgetting about his current situation, he also wants to dream about a life he couldn’t have. A life with someone he loves. He probably tries to replace his wife in his head with another man by drinking, trying to make the “magic show” more tolerable. The man could also be his guilt starting to rise and bubble up like the carbonation in the champagne, sitting in front of him and judging him, telling him “Are you really going to keep lying to her after all this time?”.

Finally, at the end of the MV, he is unable to keep up his magic show anymore due to drinking way too much. All his “tricks” fall to the ground, another way of showing his masquerade mask has finally fallen. He then ends his first act at the start of the MV (aka his marriage) by tearing it apart.

4. The Bartender

Now THIS is an interesting thing people have pointed out. The bartender from the previous MV comes back for a cameo in the newest one. But it’s not just a small, little nod, no he’s full front and center in the frame.

Even more interesting is that he’s the only one with a wedding ring in the shot. I was really thinking that maybe everyone would have one as a way to show societal pressures, but this also works too.

This is the third time the man has shown up in Kazui’s MV’s. Though he might not have a face, it’s clear that he is of some sort of importance in Kazui’s life to show up so much, especially if he appears so clearly in “Cat”. Maybe Kazui wants to keep his identity a secret so he wouldn’t have to open up old wounds. With this information, we can assume he’s talking to the bartender from 1:13 to 1:24 as the table & drink is just like the one in “half”. There’s also the sound of a drink being prepared/served at 1:10. So he could very well be Kazui’s love interest as he carefully confesses to him. However, they’re both married, something that Kazui clearly remembers as he only sees his ring in the shot with all the guests. Though I think that, from this scene, he wished that they were the ones being married because he’s the only one with a ring, that is also similar to Kazui’s, on. That’s why he asked what he’d do if he said that he “liked-liked” him, would the bartender accept him or reject him? Although, I don’t actually think he’s drunk when he asks. Maybe he’s had a few drinks, but his speech is way too clear. Remember he’s also the “king of lies” so no one can really be sure of his true nature. His likely reasons about lying about being drunk is because 1) there are possibly people around and 2) he’d rather not embarrass himself if the bartender didn’t respond at all.

Now comes the tricky part, who is the bartender? The most common answer would be his be his childhood friend, and I’d have to agree. There really is no other person to identify him as and it would make the most sense as to why he appears so much. In “Interrogation Question 8”, he mentions that he “looks up to [his childhood friend]” implying that he could be older. If we’re willing to stretch this and say that age is shown through facial hair and the fact that the bartender possibly owns the establishment (Kazui mentioned his friend owned a boat, what kind is not mentioned, but it does say something about the man’s wealth), then he could very well be the childhood friend. At some point though, he seemed to stop going to the bar. Most likely because his friend responded badly to his “confession” or that they already knew it wasn’t possible and Kazui didn’t want to see his face anymore since he’d only feel even more lonely than he already was, thinking that what he had said ruined their friendship forever. It then cuts to him sitting alone drinking whiskey, something he always buys at the bar. He states that he “wanted to ask so it’s out in the open. I just got a little greedy.” This implies that he wanted to “let it slip” in his “drunk” state. However, it didn’t go very smoothly and his greed only brought him more pain.

There’s also a thing with whiskey in that whenever he has it he seems to be allow his masquerade mask to fall. It’s probably because it reminds him of his childhood friend who he loves as he always buys the same drink from his bar. The scenes where whiskey appears is the previously mentioned confession scene followed by him sitting alone. It also appears when he becomes feral as it is the beverage he drops at 1:50.

5. Apples

This one has been discussed the most and I honestly don’t have anything new to bring to the table with it. But I’ll just add it in here

First let’s start off with the symbolism of the red apple, which is pretty easy to pin point. In the MV, It’s only used in the middle after he pulls the cloth off of the wedding couple (aka Kazui and his wife) and at the end when the wife dies. There are an abundance of the red apples at the wedding, representing how much love she has for Kazui. Then, when she dies, it’s squashed, and it’s supposed to show her impact onto the ground and their love being ended right there.

The green apple is slightly harder to figure out. It seems to represent how Kazui feels about the relationship and how he only likes her platonically. The green apple appears in the abundance of red apples, underneath Kazui during the dinner, and, most importantly, as a man. The first two can be easily interpreted as him trying to keep his platonic feelings a secret. He even literally tried to keep it under the table to hide it from her. Then, there’s the apple-man(?). The first meaning of this is how he, again, sees the wife as only a friend. However, there’s also another meaning. The drawing takes great amounts of inspiration from the painting The Son of Man, by René Magritte, which makes sense given the similarities the MV and the meaning behind the painting. Magritte said,

“…You have the apparent face, the apple, hiding the visible but hidden… face of the person. It's something that happens constantly. Everything we see hides another thing, we always want to see what is hidden by what we see. There is an interest in that which is hidden and which the visible does not show us. This interest can take the form of a quite intense feeling, a sort of conflict, one might say, between the visible that is hidden and the visible that is present."

This painting’s meaning has so many parallels with Kazui’s character, almost as if the writers wanted us to realize it since the introduction of the green apple in “half”. The biggest difference between the two is that Kazui does not reveal his eyes. He keeps who he really is behind the apple, keeping who he is a secret and preventing any sort of “intense feeling” of wanting to get to know the true him. He doesn’t want any conflict to arise and fears the consequences of coming out.

6. Extra Details

I Wonder why at the start, he kind of just stares at the screen like he’s judging/hoping that Es will make the right decision. It’s also reminiscent of how he stared at Es in his 2nd Voice Drama. Very strange but I like it

I love it when there’s similar scenes fr fr

Another thing id like to bring up rq is Kant. Es brought him up in Kazui’s 2nd voice drama since he had “killed” someone due to his lies. Es directly quotes him, “That would be Kant…A philosopher who stated that lying is inherently a sin, no matter the circumstances…Apparently, even if your friend is being chased by a murderer and the murderer asks you about their whereabouts, you shouldn't lie, according to Kant.” Kant’s reasoning for selling out your friend to a murderer is that if you were to lie about where they were and by chance the murderer found them, it’d be your fault. However, if you did sell them out and they died, it wouldn’t be your fault, your friend should’ve just avoided the psycho! This is what Kant believed and, personally, it makes no sense, especially if we’re considering a human life that’s on the line. Brushing over that though, the connection Es essentially tries to make is that Kazui’s lies are his greatest sin and that he should’ve told the truth from the start. While yes, most things would’ve been prevented if he had tried to be more true to others, there are also standards to consider as well. If Kazui had come out, then he’d be shunned, if he refused to marry, he’d be shunned, etc. so there wasn’t an easy way out for him. Kant’s philosophy fails to consider any other situation or being truthful to one self. His murderer example is way too extreme and it doesn’t hone in on the finer details. Which is why I don’t think Es really knew wtf they were talking about and I honestly find the Kant thing kind of dumb💀

The comments in this video explain how dumb Kant is way better than I can vv

Constructive Criticism, Thoughts, and Additional Help is Appreciated, Thank You!

[toreodere]

Man I had to go through just the most ass backwards process to actually upload this here, but damned if I didn't do it!

I was looking through audio on my phone and found this old thing I made while thinking about the general vibe of the old Rendezvous with Rama PC game, I'm pretty sure this was something from before my hard drive crash that I thought id lost, but apparently it was still here!

only annoying thing is, Tumblr's mobile app doesn't have a way of actually posting audio, no really that shit just brings you to a search bar that makes you put a Spotify link in your post, why is it like this!

I had to go and log into a firefox tab with Tumblr on it with show computer site turned on just to be able to upload from my phone's audio files, it's madness I tell ya, madness!

[postgameroutesix]

lots of jokes about the poor reading comprehension and critical thinking on tumblr but a lot of the times i cant bring myself to laugh because it is genuinely dangerous. i remember re the spotify thing someone smugly saying “my blood is palestinian is on spotify now so this is a conspiracy” when if u actually bothered to think and check the links op provided u would see that it being back up now does not detract from it being taken down before and the reasoning behind that when, as op pointed out, someone like kanye gets to keep his music on there despite his antisemitism. its just vile

[ophiedrowning]

hello!!! welcome to my mixed bag of a tumblr account. my name is ophelia (like the hamlet character). i’m a 23 year old jewish romani trans lesbian.

i’m usually deep in the sauce writing sessions for my thirsty sword lesbians campaign or scripts for my tv shows. i also wrote that one blaseball musical about sebastian telephone.

i will repost or post in both English and Yiddish

below the line are links to my work, some fandoms, personal tags, and original character descriptions!

links:

archive of our own

blaseball: the musical

spotify

fandoms: blaseball (riv), dungeons and daddies, the locked tomb, animorphs, thirsty sword lesbians, naddpod, adventure time, percy jackson, worlds beyond number, mlb baseball (go phillies), the expanse, fargo, earthsea, the southern reach, d&d, the magicians, she-ra and the princess of power, scott pilgrim

personal tags: #ophieocs #desdemophie #nikephi #tombphi #wet dream ship

oc rambling:

Desdemona Demeter, 23, TSL, Spooky Witch -> Nature Witch -> (in the future probably Matriarch): Desdemona, or Mona for short, is a 6’4, fat romani icon. the best art of her that exists is by @alojzy-art. she’s a trans poly lesbian daughter of a goddess. she’s also the biggest failure i’ve ever played. she ruins every relationship she has, romantic or other. she got her surrogate father (who sacrificed himself to bring her back to life) to denounce her. i love her so much. she’s so perfect. all of my friends love and hate her. they doodle her for fun because she’s so loveable even though she’s also the absolute worst. she has several ships that i’m absolutely ravenous about. her childhood best friend Yllona (Ona). her first genuine girlfriend Willow (Willmona). and an AU ship with a different PC from a campaign i was not in named Integrity (Wet Dream lmao). wet dream is my second favorite ship, only beaten out by the throuple ship Wyllmona.

Nike De La Cour Kidd, 30, TSL, Legion: Nike Kidd is my pirate lesbian. she’s 5’, red headed, and disabled from a near death experience where she was saved by the sea monster she is destined to kill or die from. she’s been married once and while she never officially divorced her ex (the second in command of the royal navy, Coryn De La Cour), she’s started a new relationship with a fellow PC, Mercy. they’re fucking adorable and i love their ship Nicey a lot. nike is super stubborn, but she’s really full of love. she’s the best