#bruce banner being a little shit as usual

[black-arcana]

HEAVY MUSIC HISTORY: Hydra – Within Temptation

Although not confirmed to be a subtle dig, the timing was suspicious: during the recording of NIGHTWISH’s Endless Forms Most Beautiful in the summer of 2014, their newest member, Troy Donockley, said in a video diary that it is “still absolutely NIGHTWISH, but there are some parts that will probably startle some people. But nothing cheesy. There’s gonna be no dreadful, pathetic stabs at trying to jump on some bandwagon, slap some shit rap on it or something, none of that nonsense.” A few months earlier, WITHIN TEMPTATION released their sixth full-length record, Hydra. 

In the run up to its January launch, much had been made of their choice of collaborators across its tracklist. Dreams came true when Tarja Turunen was announced to feature alongside Sharon Den Adel on Paradise (What About Us?), a song which has become the answer to ‘what does symphonic metal sound like?’

What raised eyebrows was And We Run (feat. Xzibit). While other guest vocalists from KILLSWITCH ENGAGE and SOUL ASYLUM broadly drew from the same rock palette as WITHIN TEMPTATION, here was an artist from a genre that could seriously be considered the polar opposite of symphonic metal.

Whether And We Run entirely works is subjective, but history has vindicated the band and Xzibit as being ahead of the curve. In the ten years since Hydra, heavy music has not only become more fashionable again, but it has diversified – and the two are surely linked. In 2023, SPIRITBOX remixed MEGAN THEE STALLION’s Cobra, introducing metal’s most hyped band in years to a whole new audience by a show of respect between them and one of the world’s biggest stars. In the UK, BRING ME THE HORIZON sell out the country’s largest venues because they introduced elements of pop, electronica, and hip hop to their initially abrasive sound. The future of music is genreless, but to get there, bands have to break down barriers.

There is more to it than just the music. One of symphonic metal’s most defining tropes is the vocal talent of its lead singer, who is often female and often white. Its lyrical content is heavily fantastical, referring to literary works by European authors who have written in predominantly white cultures. The lack of diversity in the genre can be seen in the source material for many of its songs. Introducing Xzibit’s deep vocals, having him write his own verse, destroyed the notion that symphonic metal has to look or sound a certain way.

In the years since, WITHIN TEMPTATION have taken up the mantle to promote peace and love. During live performances of Raise Your Banner, Den Adel would wave the rainbow LGBTQ+ flag, and in the last few years changed it to the Ukrainian one. Their new album Bleed Out draws heavily from accounts of war, documenting its horrors in anthems of solidarity.

Hydra was when the band realised this music, their music, was for everyone. When NIGHTWISH, who had long gone unchallenged at the top of the genre, decided to double down on their usual shtick, WITHIN TEMPTATION looked outward and opened their arms. They saw no reason why a rapped verse could not exist alongside all the other elements of their arsenal. The rousing Paradise that featured Turunen was inspired by a Dutch general who emphasised seeing the world as ‘us’ instead of ‘yourself’ and ‘them’.

It makes sense then that the album is also the band’s most palatable. There is none of The Unforgiving’s prog rock-like storyline, no epics like The Truth Beneath The Rose from The Heart Of Everything. In return, the acoustic-driven Whole World Is Watching received radio airplay in the UK – and was debuted on BBC Radio 2 by the legendary Ken Bruce. While rock music is a little more welcome on the airways in 2024, this marked a significant shift in WITHIN TEMPTATION’s profile at the time. No longer a niche band, they were welcome on the most listened to radio show in the country.

The rest of the album follows in this vein, for better or worse. That it lacks a distinct personality alongside most of their other records – the technicolour of The Unforgiving, the natural wonder of Mother Earth – is a symptom of how straight-forward it is. But there is an argument for Hydra as the band’s most consistent collection of songs, all of which are built on a strong foundation of pop music and familiar structures. Silver Moonlight in particular is overflowing with hooks, built upon chunky guitars and small symphonic flourishes. It sounds massive, which might be the only gear WITHIN TEMPTATION know how to operate in, but it sounds instant and immediate too.

Hydra arrived a year after the band recorded 15 cover songs for Belgian radio station Q-Music, in celebration of the band’s 15th anniversary. Most of these tracks were pop songs, like SIA’s Titanium, BRUNO MARS’s Grenade, and LANA DEL REY’s Summertime Sadness, which featured in their live shows at the time (and on the deluxe edition of Hydra). Den Adel said they wanted each cover to sound like a WITHIN TEMPTATION song, and not just a simple stripped back arrangement. It is no surprise then, after spending months familiarising themselves with mainstream hits, that they became tighter songwriters, something which they continue to reap the benefits of to this day, but which was first heard on Hydra.

The reason WITHIN TEMPTATION are headlining Wembley Arenathis year is because of Hydra. It is the turning point in their career where they said no to limiting themselves, and realised their capabilities reached far beyond the confines of symphonic metal. They are too good at songwriting, too strong as performers to be anything less than a legitimate marquee band. Throw on any of its 10 tracks and you hear a band with a new sense of confidence at the start of a new beginning, discovering what they are truly capable of. It was the blueprint to go even bigger, even more widescreen, on what came next. Everyone was welcome on the journey. Just look at them now.

Hydra was originally released on January 22nd, 2014 via BMG.

[ijuststareatstuffhereok89]

Hi! I really like your writing but don't usually go on tumblr anymore so i've just been lurking. I like your oneshots especially. You're good at spelling out fantasies for readers and its really awesome how well you do it. You're also good at characters.

Just wanted to know a little more about you! Like an author's biography?

Also, mind doing a drabble request? Reader gets injured and Loki is the one to help them get comfortable? Please make Reader GN because I am! Thanks! :D

“Nurse Loki”

Summary: After being injured in a fight, Loki takes it upon himself to see to your comfort. 

Pairing: Loki x GN!Reader (bedside comfort)

Content Warning: mentions of injury

Word Count: 1.5k

“Ugh, when do the drugs kick in?” you moaned softly as you struggled to re-position yourself in the pitiful pallet in the infirmary where the crew had dumped you after nearly losing your leg in a scrap against a small team of rogue terrorists. 

Loki fought back the urge to chuckle. Now wasn’t the time for laughing, as you were in real pain. 

“I imagine any time now,” he replied. 

You grunted and leaned back against the pillow, giving up your attempt to make yourself comfortable (it was useless on this awful ‘bed’ anyways). “They really won’t let me have morphine? My leg’s literally crushed.”

“Only in four places,” Loki said. You glared at him with disdain. “Oh, is that not a low number for bone fractures?”

“Not in the goddamn femur,” you replied. 

Bruce Banner and the complex doctor, a short woman named Dr. Ng, made their way over. Dr. Ng smiled in a way that reminded you of how a pediatrician would try and distract a child before shoving a 6-inch needle into their arm. It unnerved you a little. 

“Y/N,” said the doctor. “We can move you up to your room tomorrow, but I'd rather keep you on observation here tonight, just in case any arteries were severed by the fractures that we didn't see.”

You moaned in displeasure. “You have GOT to be kidding me. I’m two floors above here. What’s the difference?”

Dr. Ng looked down at her clipboard. “You broke your femur in four places. That takes a lot of force. I’d rather make sure no other damage has happened before moving you.”

You wanted to cry…or to leap out of bed and strangle the good doctor. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! This place SUCKS!”

Loki sighed empathetically and took your hand in his, surprising you. You’d been flirty with Loki in the past, but he was never this genuinely affectionate, no ulterior motives of a sexual nature in his actions. 

“It’ll only be for one night,” assured Bruce, smiling reassuringly (although it wasn’t helping). “First thing tomorrow, we’ll do one more x-ray and send you upstairs to rest.”

You looked down at your propped leg, bound in layers and layers of rough plaster, making your skin irritate in addition to your muscles and bones throbbing. “Fuck this, but hey, where am I going?”

“I’ll stay as well,” Loki chimed in. 

“R…really?” you asked. 

Loki looked up at Dr. Ng. “I’m certain you have a lot to do, Banner. And Dr. Ng has a family they need to go home to, I assume. I can keep vigil in case something changes.”

“Um, okay,” said Bruce, caught off-guard by the almost fatherly energy Loki was radiating in the moment. It was odd for the God of Mischief to be so concerned with a Midgardian mortal. 

“I’ll be on call in case an emergency arises. And try to rest a little,” said the doctor, turning to leave with Bruce. 

Not damn likely,  you thought. 

“Good night, doctor,” Loki said dismissively. After they left you alone, Loki wheeled a chair up to the bed beside you and took your hand again. “Is there anything you need?”

“Some harder drugs would be nice,” you replied, making him laugh. 

“I hear some of those kinds of medications can come with some less-than-savory side effects,” Loki suggested. “I’d rather not see you become reliant on them.”

“Why so protective of me all of a sudden?” you asked. “They have staff here who can fetch water and shit like that, you know.”

Loki shook his head. “No, I’d rather be the one to oversee your recovery. I don't like seeing you in pain, and you being so injured worries me.”

“I’m not a baby,” you protested. “And I’ve had worse than this. I once had a concussion so bad I lost my memories of the prior twenty-four hours and it took a week to get them back!” 

Loki chuckled and ran a hand down your cheek. “I think you misunderstand my intentions.”

You felt the heat rise in your face at Loki’s tender touch. “Then, what are they?”

“Obviously, your health and comfort mean much to me,” he explained. “But I’m afraid our little casual trysts are beginning to lead my feelings elsewhere.”

“Elsewhere?” you asked. “Are you saying you want to stop messing around?”

Loki looked into your eyes. “Yes. I want to stop…’messing around,’ as you call it. I feel drawn to you in a different way now. I must be honest with you: I was hoping after this mission that we could discuss a future where we see one another on a more exclusive level.”

Your heart would have started fluttering like a little school kid’s, but you were suddenly feeling as if sleep was starting to pull you away from this plane. Blast it, not now! 

“Oh, Loki, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say such things,” you said quietly. “But the adrenaline from the injury is wearing off, and I’m starting to feel drowsy.”

“As I suspected,” he replied with a gentle smile. “Which is why I’m putting off my official proposal until such a time as you’re physically and mentally fit to respond with your own sound mind.”

You snorted. “For being the God of Chaos, you sure have been playing by the rules a lot, lately.”

Loki smiled. “I’m afraid that I do it for you, my dear.”

“Well, could you possibly help me lie down a bit more if I’m going to try and get some shut-eye?” you asked. Loki didn’t even answer. He managed to coax you to a full upright position without back support, which only made your hip and leg twinge a little at first. However, after Loki re-adjusted and fluffed your pillow and help you lie back, supine, the position made your leg scream, not used to the new angle. 

“Owwww,” you moaned, your voice low and pathetic. “I’ll pay you a thousand dollars for one hit of the good stuff.”

Loki laughed and shook his head. “Sorry, doctor’s orders.”

“You’re the worst nurse in the world,” you groaned, rolling your eyes and setting your head back against the pillow. Loki took your hand again, gently brushing his thumb up and down your knuckles. You had to admit, just that little bit of flesh-to-flesh contact made you wish you were in a better condition to pull him on top of you. 

“I’m afraid so,” he agreed. “I am a much better lover, darling.” He leaned over and gently kissed your forehead. “Do you need me to read to you or sing you off to your slumber?”

“Sing?” you asked, nearly laughing. “The God of Mischief sings?”

Loki grinned. “You don't think a High Prince of Asgard would only be trained in the ways of war, do you? I received the most exquisite cultural tutelage in the Nine Realms. Music and theater were my forte. I’m not much for dancing.”

“There seems to be a lot of things I still don't know about you,” you said quietly, a yawn escaping as you finished your thought. “I need to know more.”

“And so you shall, dear one, but perhaps after you recover,” he answered. 

You smiled in earnest and felt your heart flutter a little as Loki squeezed your hand. “Okay, sing to me, Maestro!”

You couldn’t believe it for a moment, but you swore Loki’s cheeks went red at the request. He took a moment to think of what to serenade you with, but after a second or two, a low, velvet-smooth baritone came from his mouth, bringing forth lyrics in a language you didn’t understand. When Loki saw your confusion, he stopped. “It’s a lullaby my mother sang to my brother and I when we got restless. The words don't translate to English very well, I’m afraid.” 

“Don’t stop,” you whispered softly, your eyelids  beginning to feel heavy enough to close. 

You could hear Loki whisper back: “Never, darling.” 

You felt two warm lips gently brush against yours before Loki’s lovely, deep voice beckoned you towards the Land of Dreams, where there was no pain and plenty of promise that tomorrow would bring relief. 

--------------------------------------------

Thank you so so so so much for the love! It means the world to me! <3

As for an author’s biography, there’s not much about me to say. I live in a major city on the US East Coast, and am a 31yo health teacher by day and amateur actor by night (when I’m not writing). I have two cats and a partner who is awkward to describe to people, and I feel like when I say “my boyfriend’s a triple-degree black belt with world titles and a pediatric dental hygienist", people don't believe me, lol. One thing I will give away about my physical appearance is that I’m a natural redhead, and we’re talking Little Bore-phin Annie level red. 

@lokisgoodgirl @xorpsbane @mochie85 @mischief2sarawr @ficitve-sl0th

[astxrwar]

i care about quentin beck so much please keep telling us about your thoughts and ideas. i am so totally not normal about him, he just has so much potential!! i adored your third chapter of ties that bind, i love the way you write him and you have such a way with words. its just very well done and im so glad there’s at least one other person on this planet who thinks about him <3

AHHHH THANK U ILY we can be deranged about him together <3

rn i'm working on chapter 4 (which is already at fucking 7k! that's not even counting the like 4k+ miscellaneous stuff I already have written that will go in later chapters!!! im on such a writing bender rn it's insane)

manic brain puke (SO MUCH OF IT. SORRY!!! i have the normal amount of thoughts.jpeg) about the details below the cut if you're interested

buttt basically premise is there are a few scenes covering from like december to about march, next semester stuff, etc, some Plot Details (for once! lmao) about trying to figure out PhD stuff that will be Relevant later on and then when you have to stay late again in like. march. right before spring break when banner's off at a conference in toronto for two days you end up forgetting your apartment keys in his office so they're like. locked in there until he gets back. anyway basically all alternative plans end up not working out and you end up just going with quentin to his apartment which you both are sure (well HE is sure, you're less sure than you are Determined lmao. you are both fucking Wrong) will change things exactly Zero Percent.

(spoilers. it does actually change things a non-zero-percent. are you,,, perhaps,,, friends now??? unthinkable)

anyway my thoughts are basically 1. atp you guys finally exchange phone numbers 2. you both realize actually hooking up in somebody's apartment (either of yours) is way better than hooking up on the sly in the bio building and then 3. your hot water boiler goes out in may and you end up there AGAIN for like a WEEK and stuff changes MORE and then 4. there starts to be some light angst and like. non-platonic feelings on both ends. shit starts to get messy because you start thinking about doing your dissertation in stark's lab and quentin is like. "absolutely fucking not and no I won't explain why <3" because of course they have beef.

quentin did his postdoc under tony in this au lol. he hates him because tony fucked up a patent for something quentin invented during the postdoc and it lost him a lot of money; obviously tony is stupid fucking rich (he owns and funds an entire university! insanely rich) but quentin is Not so it like. kind of irreparably broke their relationship. tony feels Bad and that's why 1. quentin is tenured despite being technically too young and gets paid a stupid amount for academia; like at least 100k. 2. he's not required to take on undergraduate researchers in his lab (a hassle, requires lots of teaching, usually a requirement for academic research) and 3. doesn't technically have to take on PhD students either. but he does not really tell you any of this explicitly, the details kind of just come together over time, and he definitely does not say why the thought of you joining stark's lab has him being like "absolutely fucking not lmao". a big part of it is that quentin is like... aware that tony just kind of Collects smart people (like him, bruce banner, basically the entire staff + his PhD students and postdocs) and in quentin's stupid little emotionally stunted baby brain he's like "he can't have this one!!!! this one is mine,,, >:((" and does he communicate this at all? no! mans is pathologically allergic to normal emotional availability sldkfsd

so despite historically avoiding taking on PhD researchers he's like. I will let you do your work in my lab if you don't go join stark's lab. But then the issue becomes like... dude you can't be my PhD advisor, we're fucking. that's not allowed. even just fucking your PI (lab manager basically) is a massive no-no and if it got out it would bring into question the reliability of literally all of your research (the fact aside that Quentin would never lie about science for anything. even for love. fuck that shit the way that he cares about people is by absolutely tearing their work to pieces not by pretending bad science is good. literally why he bothers you all the fucking time That's How He Cares It's Incredibly Dysfunctional but i digress) but i'm imagining that it's not really explicitly outlawed in the official code of ethics because it's tony stark's university lmao. He Is A Whore i'm sure he's fucked a lot of his PhD students/postdocs/etc. (Im thinking of having quentin and tony maybe have a past history when he did his postdoc. bisexual quentin supremacy. but also because it adds another layer to the whole "i do not want you to be around him At All" because he knows that tony is functionally incapable of having normal relationships with students. it's the ways that they are very similar but also very different etc etc) basically it becomes a whole deeply emotionally fraught Mess. bruce banner agrees to still be your PhD advisor despite you not doing work in his lab which is uncommon but not unheard of, but it's still like. either you and Quentin need to Stop Fucking or you need to agree that you're never going to have a bad breakup (I say this as if it's even a mutually agreed upon relationship and not just two morons incapable of admitting they care about each other) because it would absolutely ruin both your careers. angst(TM)

I probably will not make it an unhappy ending because I hate those. I have no idea how I'm going to end it though tbh

[ao3feed-stevebucky]

Find You at the End of the Story (Now We Can Go Home)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/7esgvYX

by the_lost_raven

Bucky wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He was expecting Steve to come back safely. He was expecting Steve to reappear on the platform with a triumphant grin and a Brooklyn swagger to his step as he climbed down.

He was not expecting Steve to miss his time stamp. He was not expecting the panic that quickly settled in the air around him. He was not expecting the old man sitting on the bench by the lake as if nothing was fucking wrong.

There's one clear explanation, because there's no way the serum should have allowed Steve to age like a normal human being: it's not the real Steve Rogers.

Words: 3594, Chapters: 1/2, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Thor (Marvel)

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Avengers Team & James "Bucky" Barnes

Additional Tags: Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Tony Stark Lives, Natasha Romanov Lives, Old Steve Rogers, Hydra (Marvel), Clones, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, I'm still mad about Steve's ending, So I'm fixing it, by screwing everything up, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Steve Rogers Being a Little Shit, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Captain America Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Hydra is behind everything, as usual, Self-Indulgent, Mentions of Suicide, very quickly, Suicidal Thoughts

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/7esgvYX

[lovelyirony]

@kimannhart all you ask is yours! presenting: avengers hide and go seek 

It first starts when they’re talking about the games they used to play as children. This involves quite a bit of “guess which game was normal and which one did Clint play in the circus.” 

It ends with Sharon and Tony mischievously mentioning that they used to play hide-and-go-seek in the dark all the time. 

“It’s the best,” Sharon says. “And part of the reason why I get high marks in my stealth.” 

“You have the highest marks of the academy because of hide-and-go seek? In the dark?” Natasha deadpans. 

“Yes.” 

“Let’s play.” 

Natasha volunteers to be the “seeker.” 

“Oh come on, we’re all gonna be found in ten minutes,” Clint whines. 

“Not if it’s tower-wide,” Steve suggests. “Or at least, floor-wide. Maybe two floors.” 

“So then it’s this floor and the floor above-wide,” Natasha says. “And I’ll find all of you. That’s a promise.” 

“Is it?” Tony taunts. Natasha pokes her tongue out childishly. 

She counts to eighty-five, and the Avengers disperse around the tower. Many think they have an unbeatable spot. 

But none have met Tony and Sharon. 

Tony and Sharon used to compete against each other during Christmas breaks. Sharon learned that the best spot to hide is in the wide open. You blend in with the furniture, with the surroundings? No one thinks of you for a second. 

Tony, on the other hand, loves the unexpected. 

(He also purposefully decorates his house with very wide, framed paintings for this exactly purpose. Or at least, close to it.) 

- 

Natasha easily finds Bucky first, who didn’t even try as to hide. He hid underneath the kitchen table bench. 

“Child’s play,” Natasha hisses with satisfaction. 

“That’s the whole point of hide-and-seek,” Bucky says. “Besides, I was just getting to the good part of my show. Thank you for finding me. See you soon.” 

“Give me any hints?” 

“A good spy doesn’t need hints.” 

“A great spy knows to ask anyway,” Natasha counters. 

Bucky sighs and jerks a thumb to the lab. 

She thinks that she’s finding Tony. After all, the lab is like his paradise. There are tons of nooks and crannies to figure out. 

Too bad she only finds Steve halfway behind one of the larger armors, and he’s a dead giveaway with his breathing pattern. 

“You analyzed my breathing pattern? Why?” Steve says. 

“In case.” 

“In case of what?” 

“You need a clearance level of twelve to access that particular bit of information. For now, tell me which way Clint went.” 

“I don’t know. Bruce headed for the garden.” 

- 

Bruce is found lying in the middle of a dense group of flower bushes. Honestly, she nearly missed him. 

He’s asleep. 

Natasha gently kicks him with her foot. He rolls over, giving her an unimpressed stare. 

“I found you.” 

“And I’m still lying here. Go find someone else. I bet Clint is in the library or some shit.” 

“Hmph. I almost didn’t find you. Who lays down on their stomach to nap? You’re leaving yourself vulnerable.” 

“Natasha, be a dear and remember who else you were gently kicking in the ribs.” 

“Hi Hulk,” Natasha says. “Sorry.” 

Bruce’s eyes flash green for a moment, a glint of amusement in them. That’s enough for now. 

- 

Clint and Thor are both in the library, although Clint managed to fit himself into a suit of armor and Thor just decided to hide himself under a rug. 

“I’m disappointed in you,” Natasha says. “Now help me find Sharon and Tony.” 

- 

It takes them two more hours to find them. Sharon and Tony absolutely do not mess around, and it shows. 

Tony was literally in the bar. Sitting where the sink was, posing perfectly to mimic the gigantic portrait of himself behind him. 

“Pays to be a recovering alcoholic, losers!” He says, clambering down from his spot. 

“I wish that wasn’t so sad, but I also wish you hadn’t used the association psychology trick to make me not look in the bar for you,” Natasha answers. “I hate you.” 

“Using my own issues for my benefit? Classic me!” Tony gleefully yells. “And I’m not telling you where Sharon is!” 

Natasha narrows her eyes very specifically, in a way that’s made leaders of countries have shakes in their knees and a strong desire to open windows. 

Tony is unfazed. 

“Cousin code outweighs your creepy stare,” Tony says, pouring himself a glass of apple juice. “But have fun!” 

Sharon is fucking impossible to find. 

- 

Eventually, Natasha finds her lounging in Tony’s gigantic walk-in closet, chilling in the revolving closet. 

“What.” 

“I told you!” Sharon snickers. “You would find me last or not at all.” 

Natasha stares. 

“I checked here. Five times. I’m dating you.” 

“And yet here we are,” Sharon says, tapping Nat’s nose with her index finger. “Better luck next time, cutie pie.” 

- 

Natasha still pouts that she couldn’t find Sharon and Tony. Says that they had to have moved, or something. 

Sharon and Tony just grin. 

“Well, we’ll have to be the seekers next time we play,” they agree. “And we’ll show you how it’s done.” 

“Why do you think I’ve been having all of you take personality tests for months?” Tony asks, grinning. 

“So that wasn’t a way to get to know us better in terms of friendship?” Thor asks. 

“Not in terms of friendship. I’ve been compiling data to coordinate where I think your go-to hiding spot is,” Tony says. “Sharon’s been helping with analysis on how well that spot would work out for you. Bruce, you’re going to supremely bad luck.” 

“That’s been my life motto for the last forty-three years.” 

“Aren’t you forty-two?” 

“Yup.” 

[rebeccccccaaa]

𝔻𝕒𝕚𝕤𝕚𝕖𝕤

___________________

ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Bucky gets hit with that god awful (but really hot) sex pollen. (this was requested)

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: Dub-Con/Non-Con as per usual with sex pollens fics (although i try to write them as consensual as possible :T) Smut obvi (18+ minors dni), slight daddy kink, age gap?, public male masturbation; it's brief but still

TW: very brief mention of possible suicide

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ's ɴᴏᴛᴇs: hot

____________________

“Where are those daisies we collected from the last mission?” Tony asked you, eyes staying glued to the hologram in front of him.

“I left them on the quinjet. Fury said to wait for transportation until Shield confirms safety. It’s literally in a glass case, but whatever,” you rolled your eyes, making the older man laugh.

“Just protocol, kid,” he snickered.

Meanwhile Bucky sat with Steve eating lunch, chatting it up like old men do.

“So what did you bring back from the last mission? I saw a bunch of agents in hazmat suits,” Steve said sipping his coffee.

“Uh, well Thor said we should bring some plants back for research, but it seems like a bunch of normal lookin’ daisies,” Bucky shrugged.

“Y/n loves daisies,” Steve smirked.

“Ok?”

“And you love Y/n,” Steve teased.

“No I don’t-”

“Hey boys!” you skipped past the kitchen.

“Y/n,” Bucky said standing up with a big goofy smile on his face.

“Where ‘ya going?” Steve asked with a chuckle.

“Quinjet. Fury gave us the go to start doing tests on that plant you brought the other day,” you smiled lightly jogging to the runway.

“Why don't you ask her on a date, Buck,” Steve nudged.

“Come on, she’s way too smart to go out with a dumbass like me,” Bucky joked.

“Seriously.”

“I don’t know. It’s been years since I’ve talked to another woman. It doesn’t come naturally anymore. Wha- what’s even the first I’d say to her?”

“I don’t know, man. I’m on the same boat with you. Just… Tell how nice she looks today when she comes back.”

“Really?” Bucky asked skeptically.

“Yeah, be nice to her.”

“I am nice to her.”

“I mean be extra nice. Flatter her,” Steve told him, “Go wait in the lab until she comes back and tell her she looks pretty today.”

“Isn’t Tony in the lab?” Bucky asked.

“Ha ha, yeah,” Steve teased, patting his back before leaving to his room.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Tony mumbled seeing Bucky waltzing in the room awkwardly.

“Nothing,” he mumbled back.

Tony dropped his hands and stared at Bucky with an unimpressed look on his face. Everyone but you knew about Barnes’ little boy crush on you but he’s never had the balls to say anything. You were close to Tony and seeing as though he doesn’t particularly like Bucky, he didn’t want you hanging around him. But you were an adult so of course you hung out with whoever you wanted.

He was sure you liked him back too which never ceased to make him roll his eyes.

You walked back from the quinjet with the glass container of daisies. You weren’t exactly a plant expert but it was apparent that these daisies were mutated seeing as though the pollen swirled around the flowers gracefully. It was beautiful but then again they might be extremely dangerous considering it was a Hydra experiment.

“Hey Y/n, off to the lab again?” Steve smiled.

“Yup, gotta check these babies out according to Thor; said they might be dangerous if they’re what he thinks they are,” you said, still walking.

“And what’s that?” you just shrugged at his question unsure of the answer yourself.

“Well, Bucky’s waiting for you in the lab,” he slipped in the conversation.

“Really? Why’s-” Crash!

“Oh no,” Tony mumbled, seeing the collision in action.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” you stuttered.

“No, no. I should be sorry. Here let me help,” bucky knelt to the ground grabbed the fallen daisies with his bare hands.

“No! Don’t touch-” Tony shouted practically sprinting towards you two.

The golden pollen swirled in a misty manner engulfing Bucky completely. You stared with furrowed brows confused at the sight before you and what was going on. Bucky’s skin began to burn and his senses were being overloaded. All he could smell in that moment was you; the same scent that he got a whiff of this morning when he hugged you, the perfume and the shampoo that filled his senses when you walked passed him.

Tony pushed you out of the lab roughly throwing you in Steve’s arms who was just as confused.

“FRIDAY,” Tony called out.

“Yes, Mr. Stark,” the familiar voice answered.

“Lock all the doors to the lab and maybe turn on the a/c,” he commanded.

“Of course, Mr. Stark.”

All the glass walls and doors instantly shut and locked, locking Bucky inside. Bucky’s eyes found your and slammed his body against the glass desperately trying to reach you. You too ran up to the glass wall trying to understand what had happened to him. Everything was happening so suddenly.

Your forehead was pressed against the glass as was Bucky’s; both of you staring into each other’s eyes momentarily. In that moment, you could see his eyes turn golden for a quick second before his pupils dilated ridiculously before your eyes.

“Is he going to be ok?” you turned away.

“Y/n! Please!” Bucky’s muffled screams shocked you.

“Uh… where’s Thor?” Tony panicked.

“What the hell is happening?” Nat asked; Sam, Wanda, and Vision trailing behind closely.

“Nat,” you ran to her.

“What happened to Bucky?” Same asked.

“He- I ran- I ran into him by a-accident and the box dropped. There was mist everywhere and Bucky's eyes. His eyes,” you stammered breathlessly.

“Please! I need her!” Bucky hit the glass in an attempt to break it.

“Oh my goodness,” Wanda gasped at the sweaty Bucky hitting and practically going feral.

“Oh god, is he gonna be ok?” you teared up. This is your fault, dammit.

“I can asure he will experience no physical harm,” Thor’s voice made all of you turn around.

“Just physically? What the hell does that mean?” Sam argued.

“Well, uh… I’ve never actually seen it’s effects in person. Especially not on a Midguardian…” his voice trailed off and his eyes grew big.

Nat snapped her head, eyes widening as well. Bucky with absolutely no shame held his hard dick in his hands pumping it with his eyes trained on you. You went to turn around seeing nat’s expression but she covered you eyes before you could actually see the lewd behavior Bucky indulged in.

“What’s happening?” you asked holding onto Nat as she led across the room.

“Nothing, they’re gonna take care of Buck. Don’t worry about it,” she said quickly.

You sat in your room bouncing your leg as the movie on your TV played. Every now and then Bucky would moan and cry particularly loud making all of you wince and cringe. But your mind felt foggy simply thinking about Bucky and his safety; especially that moment when his eyes went from confusion to you don’t even know what. Hunger? Desire? Lust?

Whatever it was, it made your tummy flutter.

“Steve, any news on Bucky?” Steve stood at the doorway with a worrisome face that did nothing to ease your already panicked nerves.

“Well, as far as Thor knows the plant that was mutated with the daisies was pollen extracted from a breeding plant common among other galaxies; for species that can’t… reproduce like we do. The pollen enters the system and targets the nociceptors causing excruciating pain without physical harm. If untreated the victim can reach a traumatic state and truthfully, they will do anything to stop the pain; even kill themselves.”

“What the hell does any of that mean?” Sam grunted.

“It means the tin man is painfully horny,” Tony interrupted.

“Are you fucking serious?” Sam said in disbelief.

“What’s the cure?” Nat said.

“Oxytocin, of course,” Tony said.

“The cuddle hormone,” you whispered.

“Yup. Banner and I are already working on a serum containing artificial oxytocin in hopes to minimize the pain or even better cure him completely. We-”

“I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit more complicated than that,” Thor interrupted Tony.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, see the pollen, it’s a little tricky. The oxyputin-thingy you mentioned…”

“Oxytocin,” Tony clarified but Thor didn’t care too much.

“I don't think artificial love is going to cure the boy. If you want results, he needs to be the one he desires most. That’s where you’ll get your oxy-pudding.”

“Oxy- You know what, we can figure this out without anyone needing to have sex,” Tony groaned.

“Tony, maybe we shouldn’t-” you started.

“Nope, we can do this. We’re science bros,” Tony stormed away like a child.

“Isn’t your lab being ‘occupied’,” Nat called out.

“Shit!”

-

Hours went by and the oxytocin experiments were clearly a fail. The first dose did nothing. The second also nothing. The third relieved him for only ten seconds before he went back to his painful state. Since then, they haven’t been able to help or relieve Bucky’s circumstance any longer.

You thought about Thor’s words, about how the one he desires most could cure him. A ping of jealousy struck your heart but you knew you to find the woman Bucky loved and just pray that she'd help him. You made your way back to the lad area where Tony and Bruce had their new makeshift set up while the lab was locked down.

“Tony, this is ridiculous. It’s been going on for too long. You heard what Thor said about what happens when it gets too much,” you begged.

“And what do you suggest we do?” Tony said angrily.

“We need to find the woman that Bucky loves so she can help him,” you argued back.

“It's not just some woman, Y/n! He wants you.”

“What?”

“All the bastard’s been doing for the past eight hours has been masterbating while moaning your name. I’m not putting you in that situation,” Tony yelled.

You couldn’t speak. Was he telling you the truth? Did Bucky want you like that? The same way you secretly wanted him? It’s not like you haven't thought about what being with Bucky would be like before. He was perfect; so handsome and charming.

You ran back to your room where the rest of the guys still were practically out of breath; your heart hammering out of your chest and your stomach fluttering like it does whenever you think about Bucky.

“I need to get to Bucky,” you panted out.

“What?”

“Please you guys need to help me. Tony said that Bucky wants me; I mean can you believe. A guy like him wanting me? I’m just… nobody. He’s way too out of my league and-”

“Y/n, focus,” Nat said.

“Right. I- I want to help him. I know I can.”

“Y/n, we don’t know how dangerous this is. I mean, it came from Hydra, this could be weaponized and you could get hurt,” Steve argued.

“Bucky could never hurt me,” you whispered; Nat looked at you softly, understanding the situation better realizing you were probably Bucky’s only chance of a cure.

“You’re not actually considering letting her do this are you?” Steve scolded Nat.

"Are Tony and Bruce making any progress?" she sighed.

"They haven't been to even relieve his pain for longer than ten seconds," you whispered.

"Steve, this is Bucky we're talking about. Hasn't he endure enough torture in his life?" Nat said softly.

That seemed to convince him. Seeing Bucky in so much pain like he had been only years ago was unfair, especially when they technically already knew a cure. Waiting this out was pure evil at this point.

"How do you suppose we go about this?" he asked.

You devised a plan in order to let Bucky from the lab; he'd find his way to you on his own. Wanda stood from afar using her powers to tamper with the equipment. Tony frustratingly would have to run across the compound to the conference rooms to grab new devices in order to continue with his notes and tests.

On his way back, Steve and his convincing and charming ways would stall Tony's return asking him all sorts of questions about Bucky's state. Meanwhile, Thor made up some excuse to lure Banner away just for a minute so Nat and Sam could override the lockdown through Friday and free Bucky.

All the while you sat in your room waiting anxiously for Bucky to barge through the door and have his way with you.

A few minutes went by and no sign of a ruckus you'd assume would accompany the escape plan. You fiddled with the hem of your skirt biting your lip in anticipation. Still no sign after a couple more minutes. Wanting to make sure you still looked alright for Buck, although he'd probably not even acknowledge your appearance, you stood up to walk to your bathroom.

Just as you stood up, Bucky in all his muscle and broad glory slammed the door behind him staring at you with nothing but desperate hunger. Your stomach flipped when you saw him lock the door, pushing a small chair you had just next to it in front of the door under the handle.

He stalked towards practically panting and you took in his appearance. His hair was quite disheveled and sweat lined his forehead and slightly down his neck. Despite that, he still looked so handsome and sexy.

"маленький, all dressed up for me to ruin," he growled crawling up the bed as you crawled back.

"Buck, are you ok? I want to help you," you whispered.

"I'm more than ok now, beautiful," he whispered leaning into you, his nose brushing against yours, chuckling when you visibly trembled.

"Is my красивый маленький ангел gonna let me use her?" he whispered, huskily.

"Bucky, I don't understand what you're saying."

"так драгоценно," he whispered against your lips before pressing himself completely against you.

His hands, contrast between hot and cold, crept under your shirt brushing lightly over your delicate skin. You had somewhat expected Bucky to have no control and use you relentlessly, of which you wouldn't have minded, but this soft ginger foreplay was really making your panties wet.

Bucky slowly lifted the shirt from your body before tossing it to the side and removing his own. His hands cupped your breasts squeezing the soft flesh quite roughly making you sigh and moan at the feeling.

His lips attached themselves to your neck biting and sucking harshly littering your skin with dark purple marks. He nibbled on your ear as he grinding his pelvis against yours, his large erection poking your center making you even more aroused.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. It smelled just like you," he whispered.

"T- The daisies?"

"I've been craving you, aching for you. Thinking about how good you're gonna feel wrapped around my cock," he panted speeding up his grinding thrusts.

"Buck," you breathed out.

Bucky shuddered over you before stilling for a moment. He couldn't help it, your scent, your warm skin pressed against his, he couldn't hold back anymore coming straight away in his pants.

You brushed his hair softly soothing him from his high. You thought it was over, that he felt better and was finally cured but almost instantly you felt Bucky harden under you, poking between your thighs and you gasped knowing very well it was going to be a long night.

Bucky stood on his knees and pulled your bottoms down your legs nearly ripping the material. He too rid his bottoms throwing them god knows where before climbing back on top of you. You stared adorably up at him and Bucky almost came again. He smiled softly at you before kissing you once more.

Suddenly, loud bangs on your door startled you but not Bucky.

"What the hell are you doing!" Tony screamed.

"Tony, you gotta stop! This is the only way! It's not fair to him to let him keep suffering. He's done enough of that, ok?" Nat shouted.

"She's gonna get hurt," Tony sighed.

"No she won't. This was her idea."

Tony looked back teary eyed. He really cared for you as his own and putting you in a situation like this wasn't fair to you either. He really tried to help but this was just too complicated and too advanced to solve in only a few hours. They were right, Bucky needed you as much as he didn't like that idea too much.

"Fine."

Bucky lined his cock with your entrance wrapping your legs around his waist. Slowly he pushed in pulling moans from you both. You've only had a couple lovers previous to Bucky but neither of them ever filled you so perfectly. Bucky stretched you out like none other and admittedly he wanted to use his fingers on you first but he'd been away for too long it was too painful to go another second without being inside you.

"So tight and warm, little one. Feel so fucking good wrapped around me."

"Buck," you moaned.

You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him impossibly closer to you as you kissed along his neck and jaw. Bucky moaned breathlessly in your ear and you couldn't help the clenching around him from arousal.

"Fuck, keep doing that, little one," he groaned.

Toy squeezed your thighs together and clenched around him again making him groan louder this time. His thrusts became sporadic and you moved against like a ragdoll unable to keep up with his relentless pace.

Your legs began to shake and your back arched into his chest reaching you first high of the night, gushing all over his cock. You realize he hasn't come and gently push him off you before flipping over to let him take you again from behind.

As expected, Bucky pushed into once again deeper this time and you shuddered under his hand that rested atop your arched back. Bucky smacked and kneaded your ass thrusting in and out. The lewd squelching sound of his thrust mixed with the sound of skin slapping against each other echoed in the room.

"Shit, little one. Taking my cock so fucking well," he reached forward and bunch up your hair pulling your head back harshly.

“Shit,” you mumbled.

Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the sheets as hard as you could. You were approaching your orgasm quickly and you weren't going to be able to hold back any longer. Your pussy clenched around Bucky's cock making him throw his head back in pleasure.

"Please, Bucky," you whimpered.

"You wanna come, darling. You wanna cream all over daddy's cock?"

"Yes! Fuck!" your arms shook before giving out completely; your head buried in the sheets as Bucky continued that same wild and rough pace.

"Please let me come, daddy!"

Your body felt on fire. No one has ever made you feel this good before, it was almost too much, too overwhelming. Tears brimmed your eyes from trying to desperately hold back. You wanted to come with Bucky but seeing as his pace had yet to slow down you were beginning to think he wasn't even close.

"Let go, doll."

Your body squirmed beneath him as you released all over his dick. You came with a near shout, your body violently trembling from the intensity of your high. Bucky slowed his pace for your comfort, gently riding your orgasm slowly down despite his still aching erection.

He languidly rolled you over to your back, his hands softly rubbing your sides up to your breasts. You breathed heavily, eyes feeling droopy, all you could feel in that moment was his cum dripping from you onto the sheets.

Bucky, still knelt on the bed and still chasing his release, lifted your legs over his thighs gripping your hip with one hand and his cock with the other. You squeezed your thighs together when you felt his tip poking at your entrance once again, soft whimpers emitting from you shakily.

"Such a good girl. Gonna let me take you again? Gonna let me keep using you?" he moaned.

"Use me, Buck. I'm all yours," you breathed out.

Bucky pushed himself past your folds once again, your cum easily letting him slide in. Both his hands made home on your hips gripping hardly surely to leave marks for you to remember this very moment. You looked at Bucky as his thrusts slowly began to pick up, bringing your own hands to your breasts to play with your nipples. You twisted the perked buds, moaning softly at the feeling as well as Bucky filling you perfectly once again.

"Filling me up so good, baby," you moaned, arching your back slightly allowing Bucky to hit a newer and deeper angle inside you.

"Pussy was fucking made for me," he growled.

His hand moved from its home on your hip right over your lower belly where he could feel his cock so deep poking his own hand through your tummy.

"Feel how fucking deep I am?"

You moved your hand and he pressed yours in the same spot under his and you moaned loudly, shuddering under him.

His pace quickened and for a moment he thought he was going to finally reach his high, that release he'd been thinking about for hours today, but when he felt you clench again, squeezing his cock tightly and he didn't cum, he knew it was gonna be chase that he didn't know you'd be up for. You gushed all over his dick, back arching and your legs pressing tight around his torso, coming with a loud scream of his name.

Bucky fell forward with tears in his eyes. His skin still felt hot and sticky. His sense felt dialed up to an eleven. It was all so overwhelming and all he wanted was to cum in you and hold you closer whispering how he really loved you. He pressed faint kisses to you equally sticky and warm skin and when you felt warm liquid dripping onto your skin to lift Bucky's head to find him crying.

"What's wrong, baby?"

“I can’t cum. I just wanna cum,” he whined.

“Hey, hey. It’s ok. I can go as many times as you need me to. I want to help you, let me do that.”

“Can- Can you uh… use your mouth please? I want to feel those pretty lips wrapped around my cock so bad,” he moaned.

“Of course, baby. I’d do anything for you,” you smirked before pushing him and crawling over him holding his dick in your hand.

-

Hours and literally hours had passed until Bucky was finally tired out only having cum three times compared to the fifteen-plus times you had. Your bed laid on the ground; the wooden stands snapped about two hours ago. Most of your sheets were torn to shreds and marks littered your body from your neck down to your hips and your knees from, well you know.

Your body shook as you laid in a fetal position. You burned between your thighs; the soreness overwhelming but pleasant at the same time. Sweat made what was left of the sheets stick to your body until Bucky pulled them from you to clean you. He used a warm towel all over your body with tears in his eyes whispering how sorry he was about everything.

“I swear I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m so sorry. I understand if you hate me now; if you never want to see me again. Just know that I’m so sorry about your bed, the blankets, if I hurt you, everything,” he sniffled, eyes and nose red and puffy.

“Bucky,” you whispered, your voice raspy and croaky from your moaning and screaming all night.

“Y/n,” he whispered back. You pulled him by the back of his neck into a soft yet passionate kiss.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he breathed out when you pulled away. You cupped his face with shaky hands but a smile on your face.

“Do you mean it?”

“Of course. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I’ve dreamt about holding you far too many times, more than I’d like to admit. I should’ve told you sooner but like everyone else, I was scared you didn’t like me back; at least not this way,” he rubbed your legs indicating the intimate love he had for you.

“Buck, it’s virtually impossible for anyone not to fall in love with you. Unless they’re Tony,” you giggled as did he.

“Can you say it?” he asked softly.

“That I love you?” you smiled brushing your nose against his; Bucky practically purred as he nodded.

“I love you, James,” you whispered.

“Fuck, I love you too.”

He laid you down softly again on the broken bed pressing light kisses all over your collarbones and shoulders. You brushed his hair with your fingers as he clung onto you ready to sleep.

“Thank you again, doll. For helping me today,” he said after a couple minutes of silence.

“Of course, my love. Besides I’m the one who ran into you with those damn daisies.”

“Thank god for them then. And for your clumsiness,” Bucky chuckled.

“Meanie,” you snorted, making Bucky laugh even more.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Buck.”

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

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Bucky Barnes Taglist:

@stolenxkissess

[lovelybarnes]

baby blue- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, tony stark bruce banner, steve rogers, sam wilson warnings: child bucky, language, this is long. why is this so long about: requested by @cherry-season (apparently can't tag you)! bucky turns into a baby/toddler and is clingy a/n: okay so i know virtually nothing about three-year-olds. can you tell? thank you so much for requesting!! I had so much fun writing this <333

[@tylard-blog1]

bucky’s day wasn’t particularly fantastic to begin with.

he was already exhausted when he woke up in the early lights of the morning, his nightmares had kept him up all night-- which you theorized was due to the mission the day before that took place in one of the same hydra bases bucky had been held in. you had frowned when you realized it the day of, turning your attention to bucky and making sure he was okay with it because if he wasn’t, you would make sure someone else took care of it. he had insisted it was fine, even though the next night proved him wrong. you had done what you could, running your fingers through his hair and humming lightly until you fell asleep and he refused to wake you up, resigning himself to a sleepless night.

his morning started with his flesh arm reaching out to feel your side of the bed, hoping to find your soft, warm skin to pull you closer, but instead being met with the unkind sheets that missed the gentleness of your body. he had frowned when he realized you had already left for a meeting with some important hotshot in space with carol (you couldn’t find a better excuse to go get breakfast at your favorite alien restaurant with your favorite aliens) and wouldn’t be back for a solid few hours too long. groaning, and with no real reason to stay in bed for any longer without the excuse of getting to feel you for a few more hours, he dragged himself out of bed.

it didn’t get much better from there, because he was greeted with the sight of sam eating the last bowl of the last box of cereal in the whole damn tower because everyone rejected to go grocery shopping. since bucky refused to eat any of the frozen breakfasts tony loved so much and the stark kid swore were “the best thing ever,” he grunted at sam and walked away without eating, knowing he’d regret it later when his stomach would growl and you would immediately know he skipped breakfast.

for some unknown reason, tony had found out about bucky’s lack of things to do, and with a few winks and manipulative large-worded engineering phrases, convinced him to join him in the lab, which bucky had only really been able to see through the clear glass that separated the lab from the rest of the tower, and from the occasions where he would take food and drinks to you while you locked yourself away inside, building something alongside tony.

being inside, so close to the various machines and objects bucky cant begin to figure out the purpose of, his memories of being in school and at the top of his math and engineering classes bubble to the surface, filling him with the pride he remembers having every day at school. the thought that he could probably understand everything if you or tony explained it to him passes through his mind and urges him to ask tony to do just that, but tony beats him before he can get the chance.

bruce is eyeing them wearily from the other side of the lab, attention mostly on the test tubes in front of him. he gives bucky a smile when he comes in, but seems to ignore him for the most part until tony shows bucky to bruce’s work station, pointing out a blue liquid in a test tube marked TESTING. bruce’s neck snaps to them when tony open his big mouth, “you know, y/n was actually supposed to test something out for me today,” tony begins innocently, a suggestion laced in his words that bucky catches but decides to ignore because of the high he feels from understanding the equations scribbled on the clear glass, “do you know where she is?”

bucky narrows his eyes at him, then looks up at the clock, realizing it’s still a while before you get back, “not even on earth,” he recipes blandly, slyly sneaking a glance at the liquid for any indications of what it could be.

tony sighs dramatically, his shoulders sagging, “oh no, how do i test this now?” bruce shoots tony a warning glance that is blatantly ignored.

bucky’s shrugging before he can help it, the reminder that since you were going to do it, what could be the harm if he did? “i could do it.”

tony claps, “great!” he gestures to a door behind him, “please go in there to sign non-disclosure agreements and wash your hands.”

bucky’s shoved inside before he can fully understand the implications of his stupid offer.

-

the thought of asking the basic questions he should have asked before he agreed to test an unidentified liquid comes to bucky nearly an hour later, when the small vial of weird blue liquid sits in front of him, waiting to be drunk. tony and bruce sit in chairs a couple of feet away, clipboards in both of their hands, and interested expressions settled on their features.

“what does this do again?” he asks, squinting at the vial that he doesn’t notice tony isn’t looking at, furrowing his eyebrows when tony waves him off, “something super smart. no side effects or anything.” bucky’s eyes flit down to the little vial again, before they nearly bug out of his head at the humongous laser that is rolled into the room, “what the hell is that.”

“ah,” tony grins, bouncing from his seat to stand next to his invention proudly, “this is what you’re testing out.” bucky cocks his head at the man, “i thought i was drinking blue water. y/n was going to drink blue water.” tony shakes his head, adjusting some dials on the machine, “yeah, no, it was this. pretty sure i told you.”

“you didn’t-” bruce is looking at tony in concern, about to tell him to slow down so bucky has a chance to think all this through again and maybe ask if there is any chance the laser will melt him, when tony clicks a large red button and a bright white light clouds bucky’s vision just as he sees the clock on the exact same time he saw an hour ago, realizing the clock in the billion-dollar lab is broken, and you’re probably getting home any second.

“tony!” he hears bruce yell before his vision goes dark.

it’s only a second until he can pry open his eyes again, a hand curling into a fist, ready to pound stark into tomorrow when he can suddenly feel the nails of his hand digging into his palm. the surprising feeling of it where his vibranium arm should be forces him to look down at a small arm, fully skin and thin. he looks around, noticing his surroundings suddenly have grown very large around him, and the sound of his voice is higher when he tries to speak again.

“what the f-” he mumbles, cutting himself off when a sudden memory of his ma yelling at him to wash his mouth out if he wants to talk like that floods his mind, and he stares down at himself, eyebrows furrowing when he spots his short stature and the tiny hands and feet that look up at him. realization floods him like a wave, raising his chin at the two, tall, gobsmacked men in front of. “was that supposed to happen?” bruce asks quietly, nodding slowly when tony shakes his head, “no.”

there’s a light knock at the door, your hand pushing it open before anyone can stop you, and your tired face peeks in, a glowing smiling adorning your face and your eyes searching for your boyfriend, “hey, do you guys know where bucky is-” your voice cuts through the stunned silence, pausing when you catch the little boy’s eye. at first, you stare at him, your eyebrows pulling together as you get a good look at the familiar cerulean of his eyes and scan the clothing you’d seen on bucky before. for a second, everything is silent, bucky’s eyes are wide and staring as yours bore into them, searching for something you’re nearly touching until you gasp, “bucky?” you choke, reaching for him when he nods, his legs already trying to reach you as fast as they possibly can but they buckle. bucky realizes just then how old he must be now. “oh, baby,” you murmur, gathering him up in your arms before he can fall to the hard ground of the lab. “what the hell did you idiots do to my boyfriend?” you demand, turning to the two scientists who are going over tony’s notes.

bruce glances at tony, tilting his head at him as if to say him. you roll your eyes, not having any more information than when you asked, “tony?” you growl, walking over to the man, not missing the way little bucky’s hand grabs onto your shirt.

“it didn’t- that wasn’t supposed to happen,” tony defends weakly, a lazy shrug pulling at his shoulders. your eyes flash with velvet red, and, without moving a finger, tony’s pulled in front of you, wrapped in red swirls bucky can’t help but gawk at.

“fix it.” you order. tony nods, pursing his lips, “we’ll do that.” bruce looks a little taken aback, looking up from tony’s scribbles and equations. “i don’t think it’ll last more than a day,” he offers helpfully, “whatever it was tony was trying to do wasn’t either.”

bucky’s eyes start to droop, which he assumes is an effect of the sleepless night he just had on his infant body, something that usually wouldn’t affect him in his one-hundred-and-six-year-old self. he hums when he realizes the irony, leaning his head against the welcoming crook of your neck and catching your attention. you turn to him for a moment, softening a little before turning back to tony and glaring at him, “fix it.”

-

steve catches you when you walk out of the lab, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head when he spots the toddler in your arms, “holy shit, that looks exactly like bucky,” he breathes, scanning the dark mussed-up hair and stepping back when bucky opens his eyes. from next to him, sam looks from bucky to you, “did you two have a kid and not tell anyone, because this-”

“is bucky. that’s bucky.” you interrupt, looking at the toddler, “tony messed up with something and… this happened, i don’t completely… bucky’s a baby.”

steve raises an eyebrow, squinting at his best friend, “ha,” he laughs, “wow, he looks exactly like his pictures. he must be about three years old.” bucky blinks at him. “his ma said he was chatting up a storm at that age, though,” steve informs, looking back up at you. sam grins, “has he said anything? i kinda want to hear if he still sounds old.” bucky frowns at him, his pout deepening when sam bursts into laughter, “his grumpy face is the same!”

you look at your boyfriend, tilting your head and smiling a little when you realize he’s right, “you’re cute,” you coo now that you get a good look at him, “you’re so cute,” you murmur, poking his nose with your finger. bucky can’t help the blush that comes to his cheeks. but he slaps away sam’s fingers, scowling at him, “no.” he argues, “no.”

sam frowns, “no old man voice.”

“i hate you,” bucky says to sam, and you laugh, “i think we should leave for now. i need to figure out what will make three-year-old bucky not as grumpy.” sam looks at bucky’s furrowed brows and the same two little lines between them, his eyes flickering back up to yours, “i think that may just be a bucky thing.”

-

you bring bucky to the living room, sitting him down at the edge of the couch and crouching in front of him, watching him and his little crossed arms, bottom lip jutted out against his own will. bucky isn’t used to the emotional control of a child who’s three and can’t control the frustration that’s coursing through him at the moment. the only thing he knows for sure is that he doesn’t want you to leave him again.

“bucky?” you start, looking deep into the wide blue eyes that let you know it is bucky you’re speaking to. “what do you want to do? are you hungry? d’you want to sleep?” bucky shakes his head stubbornly at you, “i want tony to fix this.”

you sigh, “i know, baby. i do too, but until he finds a cure to this, you’re gonna stay small for a couple more hours.” he pouts at that, and you smooth your thumb over his cheek, “no pouting. we can do whatever you want, buck.”

just as he’s about to reject any idea you have, his stomach rumbles loudly, directing your attention to the arms that guiltily cover up his middle. “bucky... did you eat breakfast today?” you query, a lecturing tone sneaking into your words. “sam ate my cereal,” bucky grumbles, crossing his arms.

“bucky!” you exclaim, standing up to turn to the kitchen, “that’s no excuse. i told you you needed to eat--” you’re barely three steps into the kitchen when you hear the pattering of his feet towards you, grubby hands pawing at your legs.

“don’t leave,” he whines, hugging your ankles and sitting down on the floor, “you left all morning,” he mumbles, smushing his cheeks against your calf.

“i’m sorry,” you apologize, bending over to brush away the hair that falls over his eyes. “c’mere,” you murmur, reaching down to pick him up again and bounce him on your hip while you head to the kitchen. “what do you want to eat?” bucky thinks about it for a minute, before smiling, “i want pizza and ice cream.” you frown at him, “i don’t think three-year-olds can eat that. actually, i don’t think anyone should.”

after consulting google on what three-year-olds should eat, you have bucky’s head resting on your shoulder, refusing to let you put him down even as you made him the mac and cheese he had agreed to, still a little upset over the fact you wouldn’t let him eat all the other things he wanted. the only time he let you not carry him was when he was eating, still insisting you sit right next to him to watch as he smeared cheese all over tony’s expensive table.

“okay,” you whisper breathlessly after watching him eat his third bowl of the meal, “i think that’s good.” you shove the dirty dishes in the sink, washing bucky’s hands and wiping at him cheeks with a warm cloth to get the mess he managed to create off. “did you forget how to eat?” you wonder aloud when you finally fnish cleaning him up, watching his small shoulders shrug.

“what do you want to do now? anything you want,” you propose.

“i want you,” he says, reaching his stubby arms out, “cuddles. ‘m sleepy,” he yawns, making grabby hands at you when you take too long to pick him up. “bucky,” you chuckle, complying with him and bringing him into your chest, where he leans his head on your shoulder. “you sure you don’t want to play or something? you don’t want to…” you trail off, trying to think of what three-year-olds do, “walk or read or something?”

bucky grunts in your ear, his eyelids already closing again, “cuddles,” he repeats, balling your shirt up in his little hands.

“okay,” you sigh, bouncing him gently while you walk to your shared bedroom. you pick up a stuffed animal you brought for bucky from one of your most recent missions, “did you sleep last night? is that why you’re so tired?” bucky hums, cuddling further into your chest when you lay down with him on top of you. you hand him the little dog plush, pressing a kiss to his head when he takes the gift, hugging it with you. “honey, i’m sorry,” you frown, gently threading your fingers through his short hair, humming the same song bucky sings to you when you can’t get to sleep. it doesn’t take long to lull him into the calmness of rest.

you only wake up when the weight on you is suddenly multiplied, completely taking your breath away, “bucky!-” you exclaim, rolling from underneath him to meet his closed eyes. you shake your head with a light laugh, drawing a strand of hair behind his ear before you press your lips to his cheeks, snuggling in with him again, “sweet dreams, darling,” you murmur, placing the stuffed animal he dropped on your dresser.

[the-iceni-bitch]

Fix You

Pairing: angsty!soft!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Words: 4173

Summary: Bucky has been working hard at getting over the trauma that came from being the Winter Soldier, and you do your best to help him through it. But a particularly painful memory almost breaks him.

Warnings: ANGST (I’m so sorry y’all), explicit language, explicit sexual content (oral sex (F receiving), fingering, unprotected vaginal sex), soft!broken!Bucky, fluffy ending, TW: this fic contains implications of animal cruelty in a character’s past. It is extremely vague and non-specific but I will put a warning in the text itself if you still would like to read but this particular type of thing upsets you. Please be mindful of it my soft babies!! SMUT, 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: This is my entry to the Happy Hoelentine’s Day gift exchange hosted by the absolutely fabulous @chrissquares​, @drabblewithfrannybarnes and @amythedvdhoarder​. My giftee was @bucky-the-thigh-slayer happy v-day sweetie! 😘

Soo, apparently, I cannot just write a sprinkling of angst, I have to write cut your heart out of your chest and watch it beat in front of your face angst. This fic made me cry while writing it so if you are a big softie, you might want to skip this one. Don’t worry, I gave everyone a nice, fluffy, soft ending to soothe the pain!

Happy Hoelentine’s y’all! Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!

dividers are made by the lovely @chrissquares

not my GIF

You weren’t sure what had initially roused you from sleep. Maybe it was the fact that you were used to Bucky’s frame being draped over you, smothering you with his body heat. Whatever had woken you at first, the sound of shattering glass snapped you from your dazed state immediately.

You flew out of the bed and ran towards the bathroom. The light was leaking from underneath the door and when you wrenched it open, you swore under your breath.

Bucky was seated on the floor by the tub, his head in his hands as sobs wracked his chest. The mirror over the sink was smashed, pieces of reflective glass scattered all over the counter and across the floor.

You ignored it, not even noticing as you cut the bottoms of your feet while making your way to him. You knelt beside him and drew him to you, tucking his head under your chin as you ran your hands over his back, trying to calm him down.

“I’m here, Buck.” You murmured as you pressed your lips to his hair. His breathing was coming in ragged gasps as he leaned into you, and you could tell he was still upset. “Do you want to talk about it, honey?”

He just shook his head as another sob ripped out of him, his fingers wrapping in your sleep shirt.

You knew this was all part of the process. Bucky had been working with Bruce and his psychiatrist for 6 months now on identifying and moving past his repressed memories, but damn if it didn’t break you heart every time a new one popped up. This one must have been especially painful, he hadn’t had a breakdown like this in months.

“Sweetie, I’m gonna call Bruce, ok?” He was still a mess, even with you there, and it made you worried.

“No, don’t leave me.” He looked up at you desperately as he leaned against your shoulder, his eyes a startling blue from his tears as he pleaded with you.

“Shit, Bucky.” God, you fucking hated seeing him like this. You felt so helpless. “I can call from here. FRIDAY? Let Banner know we need him, stat.”

“Will do, Y/N.” The AI chirped back at you.

You reached your arm to the sink and turned it on, running a washcloth under the warm water before bringing it back to rest against his forehead.

“Y/N? Bucky? It’s me, Bruce.” You heard Banner call from the front door.

“Yeah, we’re in the bathroom.” You called. Your shoulder was soaked with snot and tears as Bucky continued weeping against you.

“Jesus, what happened?” Bruce hissed when he found you, picking his was through the broken glass as he knelt to examine Bucky, opening his medical case.

“I dunno Bruce, I woke up and found him like this.” You did your best to straighten Bucky up as Bruce took his pulse before pulling back to assemble his otoscope.

“Ok, Barnes, I’m gonna give you a sedative, buddy.” Bruce murmured as he dug in his case again, bringing out a vial and syringe. “I called his doctor when I heard from you and she’s on her way, but she was in Chicago for a conference, so she won’t be in until later this morning. She gave me the ok to calm him down for now.”

You just nodded as you stroked Bucky’s hair, doing your best to distract him as Bruce wound the tourniquet around his arm before plunging in the needle. He released the band before pushing down the plunger, and you felt Bucky relax against you almost immediately.

“I hate this so much, Bruce. I just want to be able to do something for him.”

“You’re doing it, Y/N. I don’t think his recovery would be going so well if he didn’t have you.” He looked down at your feet and winced. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“What? Oh, fuck.” Now that Bucky wasn’t occupying your attention, the slices on your feet and knees were throbbing.

“I don’t think you need any stitches, but I’m gonna use some skin glue to keep these from opening up repeatedly.” He muttered, rinsing the cuts with a betadine solution before patting them dry with some gauze.

“Thanks Bruce. Can you help me get him back to the bed?” You asked as he finished his work, throwing a towel over the broken glass and shoving it out of the way.

“Sure.” You each put one of his arms over your shoulders and hauled him to his feet, shuffling awkwardly back to the bedroom. “Dr. Laurent should be here around 10, if you could get him to the med center around then?”

“Of course Bruce, thank you so much.”

He just waved you off as he left, closing the door gently behind him. You changed into a new t-shirt and climbed back into bed, curling yourself around Bucky as you tried to fall back asleep, failing miserably.

  It had been two weeks since Bucky’s breakdown. His nightmares had gotten better, but you could tell he was still upset about things. He was barely talking to you, and he hadn’t initiated sex during that whole period. You could maybe coax some small talk out of him over meals, but you could tell he was avoiding talking to you about what he remembered. All you wanted to do was comfort him and he wasn’t letting you.

Dr. Laurent assured you that they were working through it, but that this particular memory was harder to move past. All you wanted to do was comfort him, but he wouldn’t let you close.

The two of you were sitting together in silence, you were going over some field reports with your feet resting in Bucky’s lap as he read some trash mystery novel that you would usually tease him about. Your phone rang from the coffee table and you stretched to pick it up, grinning when you saw it was your sister.

“Hey Frankie!” You said cheerily as you picked up. “What’s going on?”

Bucky smiled to himself sadly as he listened to you chat with your sister. He felt so guilty about what he was doing to you. You were amazing, and kind, but he was so worried that if he let you all the way in, you’d see what a monster he was and leave him.

“Oh my god, a puppy!?” You squealed, and Bucky felt all the blood drain from his face. “Send me all the pictures! We’ll have to come visit soon and meet him.”

Bucky stood up and walked towards the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water and drinking it down greedily.

“Hey, Frankie, can I call you back tomorrow? Great, love you!” You had picked up on Buck’s change in demeanor and followed after him. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” He muttered, filling his glass again and taking a sip.

You let out a deep sigh at his attempt to dodge. You knew you weren’t supposed to push him, but watching him withdraw from you like this was killing you.

“Bucky, please talk to me.” You pleaded, fighting the urge to go to him and wrap your arms around him, drawing all his pain into yourself as you held him tight.

He shook his head at you as he set his glass down on the counter, avoiding making eye contact. “I can’t.”

You took in a sharp breath at the crack in his voice and your resolve broke. You took three steps forward and pressed your body to his, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and bringin his forehead down to lean against yours.

“It’s ok, I’m not going anywhere.” You murmured, bringing up one hand to run through his hair, trying your best to soothe him as you watched tears leak from his eyes.

“Promise?”

“Fuck, of course I promise.” You murmured before pressing your lips softly to his. “Bucky, I’m not going to leave you. I love you.”

He buried his face in your neck and let out a deep sigh, inhaling your scent and letting the warm comfort of your body relax him. You kept stroking his back and hair, waiting for him to speak.

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

“When I first woke up,” He started after several minutes of silence, still not looking at you. “They would never let me outside. It was almost a year before I saw sunlight. They eventually let me out once they were sure the brainwashing had done its job, but only for a little while. There was…”

He choked on his words and you made soft soothing sounds against his cheek, doing your best to not hold your breath as he opened up to you, worried you were going to spook him like a baby deer.

“There was this tiny stray mutt I found on the compound one day. It was hiding in a little hole in the wall with an injured paw, scared of everything. I managed to sneak out some of my rations the next day for him, and did the same thing for the next week. He wouldn’t take the food from me directly, but I would leave it for him, and it would all be gone when I came back.

“It took a few weeks before he would take the food from my hand, and a couple more before he would let me pet him. Seeing that little guy was the best part of my day. The only break I had from the fighting and the torture. Sometimes he’d crawl into my lap and curl up, and those were the days I thought about making a run for it.” Bucky finally looked at you, giving you a sad smile as he pressed his forehead to yours again before screwing his eyes shut. “I named him Vladik.

“I don’t know why it took them so long to figure out he was there. The guards were supposed to be watching my every move. I wasn’t supposed to have anything for myself, no happiness or solace. And that was all he was. Just a harmless little friend. But the Soldat couldn’t have any friends.

“When the doctor in charge of my programming found out, he told me to bring him the dog, and he… he made me…”

⚠️END TRIGGER WARNING⚠️

He started sobbing before he could finish, and you felt tears running down your own cheeks as you held him tightly, the two of you sinking to the floor as Bucky wept in your arms. You curled yourself around him, wishing you could do something to just take all of that pain from him.

It was an hour before either of you moved. You were stiff from leaning against the counter for so long, but until Bucky started to straighten up, you didn’t even notice. He drew you up after him and you moaned as you unfolded yourself, your legs tingling as blood rushed back into them.

“I love you so much, Y/N.” He whispered against your hair with a heavy sigh, drawing you into another deep embrace. “Fuck, I’m exhausted.”

“I love you too, honey.” You murmured, pressing your lips to his forehead. “I’ll be right there.”

You left him to strip out of his clothes as you headed to the bathroom, locking the door behind you as you splashed cold water on your face, trying to keep yourself from having a meltdown.

You were so relieved he had finally opened up to you. But every fiber of your being just wanted to fix all of this, and the fact that you couldn’t was killing you. You choked back a sob as you bent over the sink, bile rising in your throat. It took you a few minutes to fully calm down, but you got your emotions under control with some deep breathing.

You splashed your face a few more times before heading back out to the bedroom. Bucky was still up, sitting on the edge of the bed as he waited for you. He gave you a small smile as you walked toward him, wrapping his arms around your middle and nuzzling his face against your stomach.  You moaned as he started to lift your shirt, pressing his lips to your skin softly as his fingers traveled to brush against your breast, squeezing it gently.

He held you tightly and turned his body until you were laying on the bed underneath him. He crawled up your torso slowly until his face was hovering above yours. His vibranium palm cupped your cheek softly as he gazed into your eyes before bending to kiss you, his mouth needy against yours as he bit at your lips before pressing his tongue to yours, drawing a whine from your throat.

Bucky ran his hand down your throat before his fingers started working to unbutton your blouse. He made quick work of it and his mouth moved to your neck as he slid it down your shoulders. You gasped and moved your hands to wind in his hair as he unclasped your bra and wrapped his lips around your nipple, sucking softly and swirling his tongue around it until it was peaked and sensitive. Your cunt clenched around nothing as he moved to your other nipple, and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he continued to move down your body.

His tongue dipped into your navel as he worked at undoing your jeans, pulling them down your legs swiftly along with your panties before diving between your legs.

He had missed this. Those soft sounds of want you made were a panacea for his wounds, soothing his heart as he moved his lips over your sex, his tongue running through your folds as he lapped up your arousal. You arched into his mouth when he pressed against your clit, your hands digging into his hair as his hands gripped your thighs, keeping you spread open for him.

He moaned against you as you wriggled beneath him, your back arching and relaxing as he brought you closer to your release. You grip on his hair was bordering on painful as you tightened it, and he relished your loss of control as you fought to close your thighs around his head and press him even closer.

“Mmm, Bucky!” You moaned as he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking softly. He finally released your legs and you wrapped them around his neck as he pushed two metal fingers into you, making you yelp.

He scissored his fingers inside you, stretching your canal as he drew obscene squelches from deep within you. He loved the feel of your pussy clenching and fluttering around him, trying to draw his fingers even deeper inside you as he edged you towards your climax.

When he curled them against that sweet, secret spot within you, you lost it. Your heels duck into his shoulders and your back arched you off the bed violently as you clamped down on his fingers. You screamed as your release flowed into his mouth, making him moan as it covered his chin. He licked his lips as he straightened above you, savoring the taste of you on his tongue. It tasted like home.

He gazed down at you lovingly as he removed his boxers, kicking them away before bending to kiss you deeply. Bucky kept his mouth on yours as he crawled onto the bed, tucking his knees under your thighs as he pressed one palm against the small of your back, drawing you up to straddle his lap.

“I love you so fucking much.” He whispered against your lips, running his fingertips through your hair before his tongue was invading your mouth, curling against and tangling with yours as he stole all the breath from your lungs. His metal hand curved over your ass as he ground his hips into you, running his cock through your slick folds. “I need to hear you say it, please doll.”

“God, Bucky. I love you.” You panted as he positioned himself at your entrance, making you whine as he breached you with just his tip. Your fingers dug into his shoulders as he pulled you onto him and you hissed through your teeth as you stretched around his length, relishing in the sting you felt each time he entered you.

“Never leave me.” He pleaded as his hips started moving, his thrusts slow and sensuous as he stared deeply into your eyes, watching your face contort with pleasure as you lost yourself in the feeling of being filled with him.

“Never.” You murmured as he buried his face against your neck. “Fuck, baby.”

Your head rolled back as he picked up the pace just barely, his pubic bone grinding against your clit with each thrust and bringing you close to your edge. He nuzzled himself between your breasts and mouthed against your soft slopes gently as you tightened one hand around the back of his neck.

One particularly forceful drive had you falling backwards with a gasp. You managed to catch yourself on one arm and you pressed your toes against the mattress on either side of his hips, doing your best to keep your balance as your pussy clenched around him.

“Fuck, right there.” You whispered, your nails digging into his neck.

He brushed his teeth against your nipple and you almost collapsed against the bed, but Bucky wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly to him as your body spasmed uncontrollably, quivering in his grasp as your pussy fluttered and your release seeped out of you, soaking both of your thighs.

“You feel so good doll.” He murmured against your chest as he kept fucking into you, still moving in rich, deep plunges that made it hard for you to breathe. “So tight and warm. I fucking lose myself in this pussy.”

All you could do was whine as you wrapped your legs around his waist and gripped his neck tightly. You took in a sharp breath when he suddenly lifted himself off his knees and pushed even deeper into you, his cock hitting a new spot inside you that had you seeing stars. He gripped his hands tightly at the small of your back as he ground against you.

He hit you at just the right spot and you came again, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his hair as your body vibrated against his. He inhaled your scent with a moan as he fell forward, catching himself on his vibranium hand before he collapsed on top of you.

You kept your body wrapped tightly around his as he held you in that position with one arm, carrying all of your weight as his hips started moving violently, slapping against the back of your thighs as soft wet sounds came from between the two of you. It only took a few thrusts before you were cumming again, screaming against Bucky’s neck as the coil in your stomach snapped, your muscles finally giving out as you rode the wave of your pleasure, your body rolling underneath him as you released his neck and he let you sink back onto the bed, your arms falling above your head and your feet coming to rest on either side of his knees.

Bucky kept one arm hooked under the small of your back, arching your body at a beautiful angle as his hips started to stutter, his cock twitching inside of you as he neared his own end.

“Gimme one more doll.” He whispered, mesmerized by the way your tits bounced with each thrust of his hips, and the way your face had that blissful, fucked out look as you bit your lip and screwed your eyes shut.

He ground his hips in a circle with his next thrust and smiled as your body tried to curl off the bed. You sobbed as you came, crying his name as your thighs squeezed his hips and your cunt milked his cock. He collapsed on top of you as he came right behind you, his spend shooting into harshly, painting your canal in thick white ropes as his hips stilled.

You held him to you tightly, refusing to let him go as the two of you drifted off to sleep. All you wanted was to rest with him inside you, and he needed to feel you around him, to let you know that you were his home, his haven against all the pain of his past. You smiled as you felt his breath grow deep with sleep, your hand resting on his back as your own slumber took you.

  Bucky made a lot of progress over the next few weeks. Telling you had lifted a weight from his shoulders that he didn’t realize he was carrying. His sleep was still interrupted by nightmares occasionally, but every time he woke up to find you next to him was like a balm for his soul.

He was finally starting to feel truly happy, and that made you happy. Dr. Laurent had finally given the ok for him to start going on missions again, and that was great, but he really found fulfillment at home with you, and the best part of his day was when he walked through the front door to find you waiting for him.

You were excited for Valentine’s Day. It felt like the first holiday you could really enjoy as a couple as he had made so much progress. You were thankful that Steve had kept him occupied all day, giving you a chance to work on your present for him. He was out for a run in the rain right now as you put the final touches on the meal, reviewing the recipe a final time as you set the table, shrugging to yourself and lighting the candles.

You almost dropped your match when you heard him open the front door, cursing as you narrowly avoided setting the tablecloth on fire.

“In here baby!” You called as he came inside, shaking himself from the rain. “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

“Aww, doll, this looks… is that aspic?” He asked, one eyebrow cocked as he eyed the meal you had set out for him.

“Sure is!” You said with a grin as you eyed the brown, gelatinous entrée, doing your best to tamp down your nausea. “Steve said it was your favorite back in the day, so I decided to surprise you.”

“Steve?” He asked, a grin spreading over his face as he ran his fingers through his hair. “You asked Rogers what to get me for Valentine’s Day?”

You studied the look on his face and looked back at the meal, considering things.

“That motherfucker.” You said as he broke down, laughing hysterically. “I’m going to murder that giant.”

“I can’t believe you thought I would actually like this!” He said, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I dunno, the 30s were a weird time!” You cursed yourself in your mind for being so gullible. “Well shit, I wasted a whole day. I’m ordering Chinese.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself doll, it’s the thought that counts.” He said, giving you a mock pout before wrapping his arms around you and kissing your hair. You yelped when you felt something move in his hoody.

“What the fuck, Barnes?” You screeched as his pocket squirmed, something inside it making a tiny squeaking sound.

“Uhh, don’t be mad.” He said sheepishly as he tucked his hand into his pocket and drew out a tiny, white kitten who was screaming bloody murder. “I found her in a ditch when I was on my run, and it didn’t seem like her mother was anywhere nearby. I didn’t want to just leave her out there.”

“Oh my fucking god, Bucky!” You reached out and he handed her to you. You wrapped your hands around her loosely and cradled her against her chest. “We need a heating pad.”

“What?” He asked confused for a second.

“She’s barely a week old honey, she can’t regulate her own body temperature, go get my heating pad from the bathroom.”

“So, we’re keeping her?” He asked, a grin spreading over his face as he rushed into the bathroom.

“Of course we’re keeping her Barnes.” You scoffed at him. “FRIDAY, we need kitten milk replacer as soon as possible, and specialty feeding bottles for newborns. And get a vet here too.”

“On it, Y/N. There’s a house call veterinarian that can be here in one hour, and the rest of your supplies should arrive within 30 minutes.”

“Thanks FRIDAY.” You were making soft cooing noises at the baby as Bucky came back into the room with the heating pad, and he practically groaned at the smile you gave him.

“Happy Valentine’s day, doll.” He murmured as he kissed your hair and wrapped one arm around you, handing you the heating pad.

“Happy Valentine’s day, Buck.” You whispered back at him. “What should we name her?”

“What do you think of Alpine?”

Tags!

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[saynotoshityouhate]

Hi you’ve asked for this and now you’re gonna get it. I want to come visit my boyfriend B. banner in the lab and tease him so badly he almost loses control and then we fuck lol 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Lab Tease

Words: 1679

CW: oral (m receiving), piv sex, little fluffy moments, Bruce calls y/n various sweet pet names.

A/N: Happy 30th Birthday to my dear sweet @ladyinwriting18 . I hope you enjoy your Hulk Smut. I love you dearly! (not beta read or proofread, errors are my own - oops)

Bruce had been spending all of his free time in the lab. You missed your boyfriend. He’d come home late at night, when you were already asleep, and leave before you woke up in the morning. He was so close to a breakthrough on his new project, and you wanted to support him, but you missed him.

You were tired of waiting for Bruce, and too wound up from all those nights alone. It was time to take measures into your own hands. You decided you were going to surprise him at work. You got dressed in his favorite summer sundress of yours, wearing your hair the way he liked, and spritzing your pulse points with perfume - a scent that he had once called “intoxicating.” You were giddy with excitement.

On the drive to the University where Bruce worked, you thought back on the past few weeks alone. You’d wake up when Bruce tried to sneak into bed, his weight shifting the mattress. He’d always apologize for waking you, but you didn’t mind. He’d snuggle in, holding you close and peppering your ear, neck, and shoulders with gentle kisses before passing out from exhaustion. Had he ever noticed the lacy lingerie you’d put on in the hopes he’d be home soon enough to tear it off of you? You shook your head, trying to get those sad thoughts out of your head.

You’d been to the lab once or twice before, so you knew how to navigate the hallways until you reached the heavy mahogany door that read “Banner Lab.” The surrounding walls were littered with art and letters from fans and admirers of your boyfriend’s alter-ego, The Hulk. You smiled, so proud of both sides of him. Carefully turning the doorknob, you pushed the door open. “Hello?” You whispered, not wanting to disturb - although that really was your purpose for being there. No one would be able to hear you anyways over the whir of machines and the faint classic rock playlist that came through the overhead speaker system.

Tiptoeing through the lab, you looked down each aisle, seeking out your dark and handsome beau. Eventually you found him, in a dark corner in the back of the room. His face was pressed into a microscope, hands delicately adjusting the dials on either side. You stood and watched for a moment, admiring his focus, the way his forehead furrowed his tanned skin, the grey streaks in his dark hair glistening in the otherwise horrifying fluorescent lighting. You cleared your throat loudly.

Bruce lifted his head from the microscope before grabbing his glasses from his breast pocket and placing them on the bridge of his nose. Looking up at you, he smiled. “Hi, you.” His voice was soft, a sign of how tired he truly was. You skipped towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. You were ravenous, taking Bruce by surprise. “Whoa, whoa, my darling, what’s going on, why are you here?” You played with the hem of your dress, suddenly self conscious and thinking you’d made a mistake. “I wanted to come surprise you, I thought you’d be happy to see me.” You looked down at your feet, pouting. “Oh, y/n, you know I’m delighted to see you! You know how busy I am though. Why don’t you head back home, I’ll see you when I get back. The lab is so boring, I’m sure you’ll get bored so easily hanging around here with me.” You pouted more dramatically now. You weren’t going to give up so easily.

“Come on, baby, I miss you…I need you,” you whined, standing between his knees, hands unbuttoning the top few buttons of his purple dress shirt. His hands gripped your waist, thumbs rubbing the soft places on your belly. “You know I can’t leave, precious girl. There’s nothing in the world I’d want more.” At this point, your hands were spread wide on his bare chest, the thick black hair intertwined between your fingers. You looked up into his eyes, batting your eyelashes and jutting out your bottom lip. “Pwease, Brucey? I’ll have you back here in thirty minutes.” You traced one finger down Bruce’s chest until you could delicately outline your well-endowed boyfriend through his pants. “I promise, Brucey.” He groaned, both out of frustration and arousal. “Fine. My office. Now.”

Bruce grabbed your hand, basically dragging you out of the lab and down the hallway to his private office. The smile on your face was so wide, your cheeks began to hurt. Bruce opened the office door, pulled you inside, and locked the door behind you both. Taking the hand he held so tightly, he pulled you into his chest. Your hands found his face, holding his plush lips close to yours. You moaned his name into his mouth. “It’s been too long, Bruce.” You moved your hands down his chest, reaching his belt, and began to unbuckle it. Peeling your lips from his, you knelt before him, quickening your efforts to free his length. His girthy cock sprung to attention before your eyes, eliciting a moan from both of you.

Taking the base in one hand, the other gripped on his thigh, your freshly manicured nails digging into his flesh. Slowly, teasing him, you placed hot, wet kisses along the length, avoiding his most sensitive areas. Bruce gripped his desk top for dear life, willing his legs to not give out. Seeing him already struggling made you so proud, and so wet yourself. You squeezed your legs together, trying to provide some relief to the ache between your legs. You licked along the underside of his cock, causing Bruce’s hips to buck. “Sh-shit, y/n, I-I need you. N-need your mouth.” That was all the encouragement you needed - you were happy to oblige. Relaxing your jaw, you took as much of him as you could. As you moved along his length you watched your boyfriend, his face turning purple with effort, forehead furrowed. You always kept an eye on the tips of his ears which, when extraordinarily aroused, would turn the faintest shade of green.

Bruce’s groans were getting louder, and more feral. His ab muscles (which by looking at him, you’d never know how ripped he actually was) were tightening. But then, Bruce pushed you off of him, causing you to lose balance and fall to the floor. You looked up at him, wide eyed and confused. Bruce scrambled to help you up. “Are you okay, darling? I’m sorry.” He had you up and standing now, turning you to stand pressed against his desk. “We don’t have much time, and I want to cum inside you.” He gripped your hips tightly and dove into your neck, biting and kissing down to your collar bones as he lifted the skirt of your dress. “Wanna fill you up, precious little one, want you to walk all the way back to the car with me dripping down your perfect thighs.” You moaned at his dirty comments. He wasn’t one for dirty talk, usually so sweet - but your time apart had made him a man obsessed. He needed you as badly as you needed him.

Having lifted your skirt, he saw how wet you had become, your panties entirely soaked through. He growled, ripping them down your legs. With one thick, calloused digit, he felt through your folds. “So ready for me, aren’t you, darling?” You whined, bucking your hips into his finger. “Please, Brucey, please.” Bruce smiled sweetly, caressing your face with his other hand. “Since you asked nicely.” He helped you lay back on the desk, your dress bunched up around your hips. Taking his weeping cock in hand, he aligned himself at your entrance. He’d usually take his time with you, allowing you to adjust to his sheer size. You didn’t need, or want time. “Need all of you, Bruce, please.” You whined again, now he was the one teasing you.

Bruce slowly entered you fully, pausing to enjoy your warmth and the harmony of both of your moans before establishing his pace. You knew he wouldn’t last much longer, given his earlier furocity and the moans and groans he had trouble holding back. You reached between you, drawing a gentle pattern on your sensitive bud, not needing much, as Bruce was hitting you perfectly. Your back was arched, your head lolling backwards.

Bruce cupped your face with one hand, bringing your attention back on him. His other gripped your thigh tight, leaving marks that would inevitably bruise. “Look at me, sweet girl, look at me.” He wiped an arrant tear from your cheek with his thumb. “Are you going to cum with me, my perfect angel?” You nodded, unable to form words, but your eyes stayed trained on his. He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. His perfect smile and his pride in you, his shining gem, was enough to send you over the edge, Bruce following close behind. With a loud, ferocious growl, Bruce filled you fully and completely before collapsing onto your chest.

Chuckling, you ran your fingers through his hair, kissing the top of his head. Holding him securely to your breasts as he descended from his high. “Bruce, I’m so proud of you, but I miss you. I miss us. I don’t like falling asleep without you.” Bruce’s head popped up enough to make eye contact with you. “I’m so sorry, y/n. I didn’t know how much it bothered you. I miss you so much, and think about you all the time. I’m going to make more of an effort, I promise. Especially if it means more time for this.” He nuzzled his face into your chest, eliciting a squeal and giggle from you. “I love you,” he mumbled into your chest. Petting his hair, you replied “I love you, more.”

You walked back to your car, thinking of all the ways you could make up for lost time, as your ruined panties failed to hold back the remnants of a surprise mission accomplished.

[dasywritingblog]

ENEMIES TO LOVER

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Words: 1.734

(Y/N) P.O.V.

I raise my head to observe the huge building in front of me: the Stark Tower, Avengers headquarter, my new home. Call it whatever you like, but this is not gonna change what is going on right now. I'm still shocked since when Nick Fury in the flash walked in my lab and offered me to work with the Avengers.

I take courage and enter the building where I'm greeted by the headmaster of S.H.I.E.L.D. himself.

FURY: Miss. (y/l/n) it's good to see you. Please follow me,I'll take you to meet the team.

I nod my head in agreement still incredulous of what is happening to me. I follow the man in the elevator that takes us in an enormous living room which alone is three times the size of my flat in Brooklyn.

I look around the room until I notice the whole team sitting at a table at the side of the room near the windows. Everyone is looking at me with a smile on their face, well everyone except the infamous Black Widow that is glaring at me as if she wants to kill me.

FURY: Avengers, this is (y/n) (y/l/n) the recruit I talked to you about. She is a scientist so shell work with Banner in the lab most of the time, but I want her to be trained just in case.

A tall blond guy with enormous man boobs (thanks Hayley Atwell) and piercing blue eyes comes towards me holding out his hand which I shake promptly.

STEVE: Welcome to the team (y/n).

(Y/N): Thank you Captain it's an honor to be here.

A brunette girl comes to me and starts dragging me out of the room making me trip over my own feet.

WANDA: Come on (y/n/n) I give you a tour of the tower. Oh plus I'm Wanda.

(Y/N): Well it's nice to meet you Wanda, although it would have been more pleasant if you hadn't tried to tear off my arm.

Both of us burst out laughing. Maybe I'll fit in here better than I thought.

TIME SKIP (cause I can)

After the tour with Wanda she was recalled by Vision, aka her boyfriend, to prepare dinner, so I kept wandering around the building looking for my bedroom. When I finally find my room I stop in front of it when I hear voices coming from the door next to mine. I know I shouldn't do this, but curiosity is too strong, so I go to the ajar door and begin to listen.

NATASHA: I don't like her Clint, there is something in her that doesn't convince me.

CLINT: Nat you saw her one time and you haven't even talked to her.

NATASHA: She'll provoke so many problems...

CLINT: How do you know that?

NATASHA: She doesn't know how to fight! She is so weak. I'm telling you Clint if we don't do something now she is gonna get us all killed.

I instinctively walk away from the door. I'm hurt by Natashas words, but i don't understand why. I lock myself in my room and start studying to take my mind off the harsh words of the spy until Tonys AI warns me that dinner is ready.

I walk down to the dining room and finde everyone already seated. There are only two vacancies, one near Wanda. I try to sit next to her but I fall with my ass to the ground. Ignoring the fact that everyone is staring at me and the blush on my cheek I stand up and see Natasha standing with a smirk on her face and the chair in her hands.

NATASHA: This is my place newbeen, go find another spot.

I mumble some apology and go sit near Bruce who places a hand on my shoulder in a reassuring manner.

BRUCE: Don't worry, shell warm up to you.

I smile at his words even if deep inside I know it will never happen.

TIME SKIP

It's been a month since the day I arrived at the tower, and I have to say that I settle down pretty well. Time passing I got closer with everyone, me and Wanda are inseparable now and for what concern Natasha she still hates me.

Yep, she spends every day making smart-ass comments about me, insulting me and during training she offers to spar with me just to remember me how weak I am and beat me till I cant stand. At first I thought it was normal, I was new and she didn't know me, I believed she just wanted to defend her family. But day passing by I realized that she wasn't defending anyone, she just hate me and have fun seeing me suffer.

After another day spent being insulted and beaten by Natasha I realized that I was tired of all this shit. As soon as I'm done with the training I run to my room without caring about Wanda running after me and close the door. All the bad things said by the widow come to my mind "you're weak" "do you really think you're worth working here with us?" "you're no one". Without realizing it I start crying and sob, I'm tired of being pushed down, I wanna go back to my old life with my old friends that respect me not beat me. I take a decision,I'm going away. I take the suitcase and start throwing my things into it while thinking of an escape plan.

By dinner time all my things were packed and I had come out with a good plan, I'll escape tonight while everyone is sleeping leaving behind a note to explain myself.

In order to not arouse suspicion I decide to go to dinner where I'm greeted by an angry and worried Wanda.

WANDA: Look who decided to show up! I was worried, you practically runned out of the gym in tears. What happened (y/n/n)?

(Y/N): The usual Wanda. I'm tired of her treating me like shit. Plus the fact that I have a major crush on her doesn't help.

WANDA: Wait, you have a crush on the girl that wants you death?!

(Y/N): For God sake Wanda don't shout!

WANDA: Sorry.

(Y/N): I've always had a crush on her and at first I believed that she could love me back, but I was a fool for believing that.

WANDA: I'm so sorry (y/n/n).

She hugged me for a while making me feel safe and loved and then we walk to the table and start eating with the other.

The only noise that fills the room right now is the chewing of food, that's so awkward usually during the meal everyone chat and laugh, but today everyone is quiet and busy sharing worried looks.

(Y/N): Is everything ok?

NATASHA: Sure thing love.

I spit the water into the plate.

(Y/N): Sorry, what?

NATASHA: Are you ok (y/n/n/)?- she stand up and walk to me cupping my face with one of her hands- you seem a little bit pale princess.

I feel my face heat up at the nickname and I start to shutter.

(Y/N): No, youre perfect, I I mean I'm perfectly fine.

NATASHA: Did you all hear her? What did you say about me?

She squished my face more.

(Y/N): No-nothing...

NATASHA: That's better you whore. Don't you dare to hope that I can fall in love with a dumb bitch like you!

I start to tear up, those words hurt me, but she is right, how could I believe that a Goddess like her could love a nobody like me.

NATASHA: Cry baby.

WANDA: Natasha enough! You did your job, you broke her, now let her be!

As soon as Natasha left my face I ran in my bedroom and started crying, hoping that the night will come soon.

TIME SKIP

It's 1a.m. and Im walking down the hall of the tower with my suitcase trying not to make a sound and hoping that Jarvis doesn't notify anyone that I'm escaping. I almost made it to the door when I heard the last person I wanted to hear call my name.

NATASHA: Where are you going?

I take a deep breath and turn around to face her for the last time.

(Y/N): Away. But why do you care Natasha, isn't that what you always wanted?

NATASHA: Wow, easy there (y/n). I never wanted you to leave.

(Y/N): Really Natasha? Then why you insulted me and beaten me every fucking day? Admit it you hate me and you enjoy yourself seeing me suffer!

NATASHA: (y/n) I'm

(Y/N): Dont (y/n) me! You broke me Natasha and right now I want you to let me go so the both of us can be happy.

Natasha looked at me shocked so I took this chance to walk away drying my tears with the sleeve of my hoody. I was almost out of the door when Natasha pulled me by my arm and crushed her lips on mine. I froze.

NATASHA: Now is my time to talk. I didn't mean to hurt you (y/n), never. Is just that the day you walked in this tower I fell in love with you cause you were different from everyone else, and when I realized how I felt about you I got scared and I tried to push you away cause I didn't want to hurt you. But I end up hurting you more.

I'm standing in front of Natasha speechless. Part of me wants to believe me and let her love me, but the other part tells me to walk away without looking back.

(Y/N): How do I know you won't hurt me again?

NATASHA: You don't know. You have to trust me and if you do I promise I'll treat you like you deserve and love you with all my body and soul.

I look at her teary eyes, my heart melts and a smile grows on my lips.

(Y/N): You have a chance Romanoff. But if you hurt me you're dead, got it?

NATASHA: Yes ma'am.

Love you all and be safe

Dasy🥰

[eykismyfav]

Sick Day with Dad

Requested: Yes @barelyoksometimes

Request: I saw you wanted requests for one shots so I would like to request Bruce Banner taking care of his sick teenage daughter

Genre: Fluff 

Warnings: Swearing, umm.. sickness not sure if that is a warning

Pairing: Father!Bruce Banner x Sick!Daughter!reader

Characters: Bruce Banner, other Avengers mentioned

Authors note: I hope you like this. Also this is like pre Age of Ultron because I like to think of this happening in simpler times you know. 

Word Count: 766

Avengers Masterlist

You woke up with a pounding headache and trouble breathing. ‘Oh great just what I needed to day a stupid cold. I have shit to do.’ you thought as you pushed yourself into a sitting position much to your body's protest. You knew you needed to get water and should probably have your dad give you the once over to make sure nothing was seriously wrong even though you knew there wasn’t. Your dad could be a little overbearing when you were sick but you knew it was only because he cared. You were currently living in Avengers tower with your dad and his team so you took a deep breath and prepared to face them. As you stand up you realize that you were really light headed and it somehow got even harder to breathe if that is even possible and now you were miserable and cold. Grabbing one of your blankets and wrapping it around yourself before shuffling towards the door of your room. As you walked into the living area of the tower you realized you were unfortunately the last to wake up.

“Wow little Banner you look like shit.” Tony’s voice sounded more grating than usual as he taunts you.

“Ha ha you are so hilarious tin can man.” You flinch at the sound of your own voice.

“You sound terrible, are you okay?” Nat at least had the decency to sound concerned for your well being.

“No I don’t think so I woke up feeling like death...” You pause slightly to cough thinking maybe it would help but if anything it only made things worse. “Have any of you seen my dad?”

“He is currently in his lab, Miss Banner.” Jarvis answers for you.

“Thank you Jarvis.” Slowly you make your way to the elevator to get to the lab ignoring the worried glances thrown your way by the rest of the Avengers. The elevator felt painfully slow. You really just wanted to lie back down but you also want your dad. When you get sick all you want is to be close to your dad. The fact it was nearly impossible for him to get sick was very helpful for times like this. Finally the elevator doors open and you see your dad working away at something that you would have probably understood if you didn’t feel like you were dying. “Dad.” You whine as you slowly shuffle over to him wrapping your arms around him clinging to his body heat. Bruce let out a low chuckle.

“Not feeling good kiddo?” Your dad asks wrapping his arms around you as well resting his cheek on your forehead feeling you burning up. The only response he got was a groan and you nuzzling deeper into him. “I’m gonna take that as a no. Have you eaten yet today?”

“No. Not hungry.” 

“Okay kiddo get up let’s get you into bed and I’ll get you something to eat and drink.” 

“Okay.” you said meekly wandering into the bedroom off of the lab that belonged to your father. You slowly lay down and curl up in his sheets. Just as you begin to doze off again your father taps lightly on the door.

“Hey, I got you some toast and water and Ginger ale in case you get nauseous.” 

“Thanks dad.” Your father proceeds to ask you about your symptoms like when they started and stuff like that before finally reaching a conclusion. He waits for you to finish your toast before stating.

“I think you have the flu. I'm sorry kiddo I know this isn’t fun.” 

“It’s okay, it's not like it’s your fault or anything. I think I’m gonna take a nap. These things are easier to sleep through.” 

“Okay I’ll be in the lab if you need me just tell Jarvis to get my attention.” 

“Got it dad, love you.”

“Love you too kiddo.” He turns off the light and closes the door as he leaves. Every thirty minutes your father checked on you not that you would have realized you were fast asleep dead to the world. At around lunch time he contemplated waking you up but decided against it. Bruce stood in the doorway slowly he approached his bed sitting on the side of it looking down at you. Running his hand through your hair lightly. He spent the rest of the day with you watching stupid shows and movies and cuddling with you just making you feel comfortable and spending as much time as possible with you. 

Maybe just maybe sick days with dad weren’t that bad.

[marvelsbanner]

You come here often?

Prompt: Bruce x reader soulmate au where the first words your soulmate says to you appears on your body.

Pairing: Bruce Banner x reader 

Warnings: very slight angst (internal, self-doubt), like one curseword 

Word count: ~1400

A/N: Likes, reblogs, and feedback makes my heart happy <3 Not beta’d, all mistakes are my own! 

**i don’t own marvel** **not my gif** 

It wasn’t ideal, really. But it also could have been worse. He’d seen soulmate marks that were insults, curses- some really downright vile things, so it definitely could have been worse. That didn’t mean looking down to his wrist and seeing the words “That physically hurt me” didn’t fill his chest with anxiety. 

He’s hurt a lot of people in his lifetime. A walking mass of destruction with no limits, a time bomb of green that seemed to go off at all the wrong times. 

He couldn’t imagine getting the privilege of meeting his soulmate only to hurt him or her, to see the utter fear in their eyes that he’s seen in so many others. To cause them pain by his actions, to have to live with himself after it- what if it was bad? What if those were the last words they would speak not only to him, but to anyone at all?

The thought of it alone kept him up some nights- a faceless body puppeteering his dreams, causing him to wake up sweaty and breathless and a little green around the edges.

He usually kept a wristwatch over the words, it wasn’t uncommon for people to keep their marks private. Less likely that someone twisted would try to fake a meeting. The only person he had shown was Tony, who tried his best to calm his anxieties (His own wrist had Pepper’s iconic “Wow, you really are an asshole”  after coming for an interview and finding him half naked and hungover in his office. They had been happily married for two years now) 

So, he tried not to worry- he really did, but every time he would take his watch off to sleep or shower the harsh black words on his wrist made his head spin with the possibilities of what was to come. 

-

He hated parties. Didn’t matter the occasion. Being in a loud, crowded room with warm bodies and fake smiles dripping with complementary liquor- it made him and the other guy incredible antsy. 

Despite knowing how much Bruce despised parties, and the threat that he was putting everyone in attendance in, Tony managed to drag him to nearly every single event he hosted. 

This time it was a charity event, Stark Enterprise making some big donation to a charity to clean up a little of the bad publicity and backlash the last Avengers battle had created. 

That being so, alongside his teammates was a pool of unfamiliar faces. He nursed his drink and surveyed the room, heart pounding as his feet did an antsy shuffle. 

Steve and Bucky were playing pool against Sam and Natasha, Thor and Rhodey were trading stories with important looking men in crisp suits, Pepper was making small talk with some of the women from the charity board, and Tony was no where to be found; ultimately, Bruce was on his own. 

Logically, he knew that, and yet he had the feeling that he wasn’t. He felt a pair of eyes on him from the side, and turned to see a pretty woman sitting at the bar, nursing a drink and stealing a glance at him. 

She gave a polite smile before ducking her head and turning away, clearly not expecting to have been caught. Or- maybe she had wanted to be caught? He wasn’t very good with these kinds of things. 

“That’s Y/N Y/L/N, she works on the head committee of the charity.” Tony says, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and making Bruce nearly spill his drink. “Jesus Tony- don’t sneak up on me like that,” he yelped, running his hands through his hair and trying to calm his raising pulse. Tony simply ignored him and continued speaking.

“Spoken with her a few times- super nice, uses big words I don’t understand. Right up your ally,” he said with a wink. “Go talk to her” he ordered, giving him a slight shove in her direction. 

“No- no! Tony, I don’t.. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” He fought, before Tony interrupted him- “Uh uh, no if ands or buts mister, I’m tired of seeing you sulking at these things.  She’s smart. She’s pretty. You’re smart. You look half way decent cleaned up, go talk to her.” and with a final shove from Tony he decided to give in, blowing out a sigh and downing the rest of his drink. 

He tried to calm his heart rate as ran his fingers through his unruly hair, wishing he had put a little more effort into getting ready today. He slowly made his way to stand by the bar where the woman was sitting, giving her a shy smile as she turned to acknowledge his presence. 

Panic. Panic. Panic. “So, uh, you come here often?” He stuttered out, immediately cringing and wishing he was still in his bed- or curled up in a ditch and dead, whichever would come quicker. God, he couldn’t believe he just said that!

She snorted into her drink, nose scrunching into a cringe and she shook her head at his awful line,

“That physically hurt me. Ouch, oh god you really need to work on your flirting skills, if that’s what that even was.” She started laughing before turning her head to meet his stunned gaze, his jaw practically on the floor.

“You’ll catch flies like that” she chuckles nervously. 

“S-sorry, I just, can you say that again?” He stutters out. 

“You’ll catch flies..?” 

“No no, before that. You- you said I hurt you.” 

“Oh, I meant- I didn’t mean- its just a saying,” she tries to explain before he cuts her off.

“No no, I get that, I just..” He quickly undoes his watch and turns over his wrist, showing the dark black words matching her exact phrasing. Her own jaw drops this time, eyes going wide before her mouth snaps shut and she gives him the smallest smile. She turns over her own wrist, the words reading “So, you come here often?” and he laughs, he laughs with a big dopey smile on his face- almost afraid to believe this could actually be happening.

“You’re not the first guy to say that to me, but you’re the only guy who’s had my words in return” She says with a smile. 

“God I- I’m so sorry you had to go for so many years with that god awful pickup line on your wrist” he laughs. 

“No I’m sorry you had to walk around with my words, I’m sure you’ve gotten some weird looks for that one,” she replies. He gives her an almost sad smile, “I was the only one who seemed to be concerned”

Her face slightly falls before she composes it, holding out her hand for him to shake, “Y/N” she introduces herself. 

“Bruce” he replies with a small smile. 

“So, do you come here often?” She says with a smirk. 

He gives a chuckle, “Yeah, yeah actually. I live right upstairs and am usually forced to attend these things by our generous host.” he says with a chuckle.

“You live in the tower? What are you, an avenger?” She jokes, clearly teasing before his face answered the question for him. “Oh shit, you’re actually an avenger. Are you the one in the star spangled spandex or the big green one?” She teases, but she could see his shoulders tense. 

“Yeah, that would be me. The big ugly green one” 

She frowns at his choice of words and tone, “Hey, I never said ugly. I always thought that guy was ruggedly handsome in a strange, green sort of way” 

He puffs out a breath and shakes his head. 

“What?” She asks, shoving his shoulder with her own. 

“I uh, I have a kind of.. complicated life. I was honestly expecting you to run at the first mention of the big guy,” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I uh, I was always worried that the first words spoken to me by my soulmate would be after he had hurt them somehow.” He finally raised his head to meet her eyes, expecting hesitancy or fear- and yet her eyes were free from judgment. 

“Well, they weren’t. Just tipsy teasing. And I’m not planning on running yet, but we did just meet. Buy me a drink and maybe I’ll change my mind afterwards” she said with a wink, and all he could do was give her a dopey smile in return. There she was, this beautiful, sharp-witted girl that he was so worried he would scare off, subtly doing her best to make sure he was at ease. 

“Yeah, yeah I’ll buy you a drink. On one condition.” He said to her.

“And what is that?” She asked, quirking one brow. 

“Go to dinner with me tonight.” He said smoothly. 

Her lips quirked into a small smile, “I’ll be there” 

He smiled and signaled for the bartender to fill up their glasses as he slid into the seat next to her, brushing his shoulder against hers with a playful smile. 

[smutsonian]

Hi there! Can I please place request? How about nomad Steve angst with loads of tears with happy ending? Make it dark please? Probably he impregnates you and leaves you for someone else but when he sees Bruce taking care of you it pisses him off and he makes you his? Probably takes Bucky to help 👀

keep you safe

steve rogers x reader ft. bruce banner

warnings: dark fic, dark!steve, angst, manipulation, drugging, panic attack, toxic steve(he’s back guys), fucked up shit, not proofread

word count: 3.7k

a/n: ouch... also, this is all over the place. I’m sorry this one doesn’t have smut just pure manipulation and darkness and angst also im going to consider this as a oneshot

masterlist

- So, I’m thinking like maybe you and Steve were together before the civil war even happened?

- Like he’s still this soft puppy and he really took his time with you.

- He was this very shy but very romantic guy. A real gentleman who took you on a lot of dates before even making a move to kiss you. AND you were the first to initiate the kiss.

- It’s easy to say that falling in love with this man was inevitable. 

- It was perfect. He was perfect. You were perfect.

- Then suddenly it wasn’t.

- Steve started acting strange and distant and it’s not normal for you to doubt his love for you because he’s Steve. He always, and I mean ALWAYS make you feel how much he loves you.

- But is it possible that he’s not in love with you anymore?

- Then you find out that you’re pregnant and you would’ve been ecstatic if it weren’t for the downfall you’re facing called your relationship with Steve.

- You’ve been imagining this moment your whole relationship with Steve. How the both of you would be crying with joy and how the both of you will be planning for your future but that’s not happening right now is it? 

- The only thing that happened is the crying part and it was just you crying. Not with joy but with fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of abandonment. And the fear of having to raise a child alone if Steve didn’t want one with you.

- Then flashes of memories you had with Steve appear in your eyes and a smile works its way back to your lips.

- What the hell were you even thinking? Steve would be delighted to find out.

- Steve loves you and he’s just busy with his never ending missions. Steve loves you... Right?

- Wrong.

- The moment you got Steve alone, he seemed very irritated that he’s even in a room with you and that didn’t really help you. You were finding it hard to announce the news and how he’s acting is not helping.

- “Is there a reason for this? I’m very busy, Y/N,” he grumbles but you weren’t offended by his dismissiveness. All that’s going on inside your mind is how he called you by your name. Long gone were the nicknames he always had for you. There was no love when he said your name, only annoyance.

- “I-I have to tell you something,” you stuttered, no longer very fond of the idea about telling him but he deserves to know. Is it horrible to think that maybe he’ll change once he finds out? Will it seem like you’re tying him down with your pregnancy?

- “Well get on with it.,” he says dismissively. Something flashed in his eyes before a grin falls on his lips. For a moment, you thought he was back to his usual self and that made you breathe a little better. “I have to tell you something as well,” he adds before motioning for you to continue.

- “I... Steve, I’m pregnant.” You just went for it, afraid that you may back out when you stalled more.

- Steve’s reaction was nothing you expected. He was too relaxed and you didn’t know if you’re going to be relieved or scared.

- “And I want to break up with you.” His face showed arrogance and the smile that you used to love so much made your skin crawl. It’s like he lived on making you feel this way.

- What exactly were you feeling? Betrayal? Sadness? Anger? No. You can never bring yourself to be mad at him. 

- “Is that all?” He asks, his tone getting really impatient that easily makes you feel very belittled and insignificant.

- You can’t find yourself to do anything as Steve rolls his eyes before turning around to walk away. 

- You managed to whisper a small “W-wait.” Thankful for his super soldier serum for hearing you.

- He stares at you, still impatient. 

- “I-Is that it?” Your eyes started to water, everything falling into you and you start to realize what’s happening.

- “A-are we over? That’s it? You’re breaking up with me because y-you don’t want t-the baby? We can work things out, Steve. It’s... I- It’s normal for couples to not get along sometimes. We can work things out. We always do!” You didn’t even realize that you were crying, whining, or sobbing. You just remember trying your best to make him stay.

- “This is really pathetic, Y/N. I thought you were better than this.” He shakes his head in disappointment which only added a new scar to your heart. You don’t want him being disappointed by you. 

- “You want a reason? I’ll give you one. I’ll give you more than one. We are no longer working out. It’s not the same anymore. We’ve obviously fallen apart and I met Sharon...” His face shows guilt and you being so in love with the man, that guilt gave you hope. If he feels guilty then maybe he still cares about you...

- “I never did anything with her, though. Not when I’m still with you. I’m not that kind of man. I’m doing you a favor by breaking up with you. I’m not going to cheat on you, Y/N. I cared about you. I loved you. But this is the end for us. As for the pregnancy... Time changed a lot in this place. I’m pretty sure there are lots of choices for you...” He gives your shoulder a pat before turning around and leaving. Never once looking back at your disheveled form.

- Your heart hurt. The pain was all over you and your ears were ringing and all that’s going on inside your mind is how Steve left you. He told you that he cared and loved you and that’s all in the past now.

- If you didn’t know whether to be relieved or scared earlier, now you do. 

- And just like that, you forced yourself to leave. You didn’t know what to do, who to call, where to go. You just know that you had to leave the tower. You were no longer with Steve. You didn’t have the right to be in that place anymore. 

- You just had to go.

- You were never really trying to move on. You tried but then you gave up because you can never get over a guy like Steve. You loved him. You still love him. Him loving someone else doesn’t really stop you from loving him. You should but you can’t. And you really didn’t want to. 

- You stayed at a friend’s house for a while. They were nice enough to lend you a place to stay, though it’s for a limited amount of time, you were still very thankful. Beggars can’t be choosers.

- You never heard from Steve. Last time you got an update about him was when the news reporter was announcing that the hero was a wanted criminal now. Something about the winter soldier. 

- You immediately realized that the winter soldier is his long time friend from all the stories that he used to tell you when you were still together. 

- You didn’t know what to feel but you forced yourself to not care. You can’t do anything about it. You only hoped he was in a safe place. You shouldn’t care that much but you did. You still can’t forget about him. Not when you’re carrying his child.

- You were walking around the city, desperately finding a job when you bumped into him. 

- Bruce Banner.

- You never really got to get to know him much because when you met him, he was timid and you only ever really talked to him when you bump into him in the tower. And then he disappeared and that’s that.

- But he’s there right in front of you and you didn’t think he’d actually notice you or remember who you are but he did. And he greeted you with a smile. A smile that he never really wore back then.

- “Y/N? Is that you?” He laughed before bringing you into a hug. Well, that’s new. 

- “Bruce? Where have you been?” You laughed before returning the hug.

- “It’s a long story... How are you?” He offered to treat you lunch and you followed. You’re basically homeless in a few days so might as well accept blessings when you can, right?

- You told him everything that happened. You told him that you had no idea where Steve is because you broke up before he became a war criminal.

- He noticed your growing stomach and it was quite hilarious and adorable how he was so shy about asking so you told him about it.

- “Yeah, I’m pregnant.” You chuckled at his embarrassed face then apologizing to you for staring. You waved it off, telling him that it’s fine.

- “Sorry to ask but Captain left you even after you told him?” Bruce looks bewildered and disgusted and you could only nod in response, face falling at the memories.

- “Where are you staying right now?” Bruce asked with worry written all over his face.

- “At a friend’s...” You so desperately wanted to ask for help but now is the time that your pride decided to show up.

- “I don’t think that’s safe for you and the baby... You were... The captain’s girlfriend and people can use you for bait. Especially now that he’s wanted... Listen, the tower is really empty right now. Only Tony, Rhodes, and I. I can talk to Tony about it. You can stay there and nobody would even know that you’re there. I’m staying there and nobody knows but Tony...” Bruce’s words gave you hope and you could only nod in tears of joy. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad for you.

- You understand why Bruce wanted to be hidden and that’s something that the both of you would bond over.

- After a few more months, you got bigger. (yep, you kept the baby and fuck steve and his fucking fuckity fuck)

- Bruce is a doctor and you grew to trust him as time went by so it’s normal for him to be the one checking up on you.

- You became very close with Bruce and you found solace in him. He just seems like he knew everything that he’s doing and you felt safe with him. You and your baby are safe with him.

- Steve never really left your mind, not when his child is growing inside of you, but you learned how to live without him.

- You avoided the news because you didn’t want to hear about him, an exercise you taught yourself to become somewhat better.

- So imagine your surprise when he shows up at the tower.

- He looked different. Longer and darker hair. Beard. He looked well and you hated how relieved you were at the thought of him being safe and healthy.

- You locked eyes with him and everything came back to you.

- The hurt you felt when he tossed you aside and the hurt you felt when he dismissed you and your baby.

- You felt sick when you saw his eyes traveling down your body and staring at your very swollen stomach.

- You began breathing unevenly and your chest was becoming tighter. Steve made you nervous. You hate how you feel insecure under his gaze. You hate how you feel like you’re disappointing him and you hate your heart still yearns for him.

- You felt hands snaking around your frame comfortingly and Bruce’s familiar voice brings you out of your mind. 

- “Breathe, Y/N… Breathe....” He guided you out of the room, needing the privacy and you thanked him for that after you’re finally breathing properly.

- What you didn’t see was Steve’s fuming face when he saw how Bruce held you and how you reacted to the doctor’s touch. The way you calmed down after hearing his voice. 

- Steve remembered how you started panicking after seeing him and he hated how you reacted that way towards him but he hates how you reacted towards Bruce the most.

- Steve’s hatred was drowned by the swelling of his heart when he saw you and your stomach. You’re still carrying his baby and he’s so thankful that you kept his child. He couldn’t love you more at that moment.

- Yes. He loves you. He came back for you and to see you in somebody else’s arms? To see you being comforted by someone else than him? He knows that he’s at fault and he probably deserve it but he’s going to do better. He’s going to be the best he can be. He’s going to be the best for you.

- He’s going to be the man that you would need. You and his baby.

- He’s got a lot to pay for and he’s going to do just that. If only you can cooperate with him…

- Steve watches as Bruce does your ultrasound. He should be there with you but he’s giving you time. He’s giving you space. He doesn’t want you getting overwhelmed again. It’s not healthy for you or the baby so he stands in the shadows, watching you and the baby on the screen.

- “Is that him?” Your voice wavers in excitement and Steve wanted nothing else but to hold your hand but he can’t. Instead, he just watches Bruce’s hand gripping yours in comfort and that just won’t work for Steve… He needs to talk to you.

- “He’s so small but so big at the same time!” Your laugh makes Steve’s heart swell with joy. He will get you back. He’ll do anything and if you don’t want to… He’ll make you want to.

- Steve finally gets you alone. He didn’t force himself on you. He waited. He waited and waited and now you’re ready to finally talk to him.

- “Doll…” He goes over to you to hug you but you step back, avoiding him. If that didn’t hurt his heart, the words you spoke did.

- “Captain.” Your words were short and curt. It’s like you didn’t even want to be there with him at all. And what’s with you calling him captain?

- “I wanted to talk to you, doll.” His voice was soft like honey and you feel your heart pounding with joy but you remained stoic.

- “Well, get on with it.” You should be feeling some sort of relief for repeating his word back then to him but you only felt guilt and the need to comfort him when his face fell and a dejected expression takes place on his face.

- “I-I want to apologize, first of all. You didn’t deserve anything I said back then. I was horrible an- and… I just wanted you to know that I never wanted to hurt you, doll. I love yo-”

- “Well you hurt me. You hurt me a lot.” You cut him off, the stoic expression you were holding is now gone. Steve’s face turns into guilt and he makes a move towards you again but you stop him with a shake of your head.

- “I don’t want to do anything with you right now. I… I don’t even know why you’re bothering to talk to me right now when you were so eager to get rid of me back then. What changed?” You looked at him with those eyes that Steve always felt weak for. He hated himself for hurting you but that’s the only way for you to be safe. He was going to look for Bucky and that will bring a lot of problems and he didn’t want you to be caught in between his fights. He loves you too much and at that time, he believed that hurting you was the best option.

- “I wanted you to be safe, Y/N…” Steve explained, his hand weakly reaching for you but every time you would reject him just adds another stab into his bleeding heart.

- “Well, fuck.” You spat. Steve looked at you in confusion, almost flinching at the way you’re glaring at him.

- “You wanted me safe?” You let out a humorless laugh and this time, Steve flinches.

- “Well thank you, I guess.” You say, voice not holding any emotion anymore. Steve liked you being mad at him rather than this. He didn’t like how you seem like you’ve given up feeling anything for him. He’d rather you mad at him than nothing at all. He deserves your anger towards him. Not this.

- “Well, you can continue making sure I’m safe by fucking off and leaving me to myself then.” That’s the last thing you said before leaving, never once looking back at his disheveled form.

- Steve hated how he feels but he knows that he deserves every single stab in his heart. He knows he deserves more hurting. He wants you to hurt him but you’d never do that. Not his Y/N.

- You’re right though. He will keep you safe. He’ll show you just how much he can take care of you and make you safe. 

- He’ll make sure to have you back in his arms. You’re going to be a family and he’ll protect his family at all cost. He’s never loved a woman as he loves you. Not Sharon and not Peggy. 

- You never talked to Steve after that confrontation but you still see him. You see him watching over you and you couldn’t help but feel the swelling of your heart whenever you see him.

- You’d see him putting your favorite cereal box down on the counter before you can enter the kitchen so you wouldn’t have to reach for it.

- You’d see him doing simple things to keep you safe and each time, you find yourself longing for the old days you had with him. You find yourself longing for Steve.

- Then it happened.

- Bucky somehow got triggered into becoming the winter soldier and your first reaction would be to find Steve but this time, you didn’t. You went to Bruce. 

- Steve’s jaw clenches when he sees you running towards the lab to find Bruce, your hand protecting your stomach. Steve ran towards the lab as well, knowing too well what’s about to happen and he’ll be there to save the day.

- Looking for Bruce didn’t end well because he found you. Not Bruce but the green angry man. The hulk.

- He was shouting while the winter soldier was watching the green man with interest. He somehow managed to trigger the hulk. Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of someone controlling your best friend.

- “Bruce! It’s me!” You shout but the green man only growled before pouncing at you. 

- You turned around, crouching and hugging your stomach to protect your baby but the impact never happened.

- The sound of clashing and fighting made you turn around and you see Steve dodging the hulk’s punches with his shield and your heart leaped in relief. You relaxed for a second before feeling worried for Steve. 

- It’s like a normal reaction for your body to feel safe with Steve and your brain is starting to believe that too. You remembered his words from before… He just wanted you to be safe. 

- He hurt you to keep you safe and you’re starting to understand that now.

- “Y/N!” You see him running towards you with worry written all over his face.

- “Are you okay?!” He asked, hands shaking as he scanned you for any scars.

- “I-I’m fine, Steve… Are you okay?” You tried to look him over for scars but he pulled you into a hug, crying and shaking against your body as he rubbed his hand behind your back.

- “I thought you got hurt. I thought I failed… I just wanted to protect you…” He choked on his words and you hugged him tighter.

- You understand everything now.

- He just wanted to keep you safe.

- You pulled back from the hug before wiping his tears away with your thumbs. 

- “What about Bucky and Bruce?” You turned to look behind him but Steve stopped you.

- “Bucky’s alright. He’s back and he’s bringing Bruce to the medbay…” Steve breathes heavily, reminding you of the battle he just had.

- “A-Are you okay, Steve?” You repeat your question and he nods in response before pulling you into a hug again.

- “I don’t care about me. As long as you’re safe. As long as you’re both safe…” He pulls back before pressing a hand on your stomach.

- “I’ll feel safe when you’re both safe. I’ll only feel safe when I know you’re safe. Y/N… Doll… I am fucking sorry for hurting you. There’s no excuse for that. I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore... What I did was horri-”

- “Steve.” You cut him off and he looks at you with sadness and regret.

- You cup his face with both hands before smiling.

- “Thank you, Steve. Thank you for keeping me safe. For keeping us safe.” You grabbed Steve’s right hand before placing it back on your stomach.

- “You keep us safe… Thank you, Steve.” You see Steve’s eyes starting to water once more and you giggle before moving in, stopping just a few inches from his face. 

- Your eyes flutter before you leaned closer, finally closing the distance and kissing him.

- You feel his hand moving from your stomach to your back to pull you closer and tighter to his body.

- “I love you, Y/N. I love you so fucking much.” He whispers through the kiss.

- “I’ll always keep you safe, Y/N. I will never hurt you anymore. I’ll be the best husband and father…” He whispers before lifting you up.

- “I’ll keep you safe.” He whispers one last time before carrying you back to your room. The room that you’ll be sharing with him soon. Actually, you wouldn’t even need that room because Steve will make sure to get a place where the two of you can be alone. The tower isn’t safe for you anymore. Only Steve can keep you safe.

- Steve celebrates in his mind as the mission went successfully. With Bucky helping him. With how they were able to drug Bruce’s coffee. Everything went perfectly. You fell right back into his arms.

- And Steve will keep his promise.

- He’ll keep you safe.

- He’ll keep his family safe. 

------

undeserved happy ending for steve but what about it💀

taglist

General: @readermia @unlikelygalaxygiver @xoxabs88xox @anncutamarica @chaoticfiretaconerd @i-love-superhero @caffiend-queen @coconutqueen21 @jtargaryen18 @jennmurawski13 @mushyjellybeans @ninjabucky @evnscvll @buckstaybucky @donutloverxo @rebloggingeverything @adriannajackson @la-cey @awaywithtime @gotnofucks @littlegasps

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Marvel: @jemzeraion

[shego89notabot]

Meet Cute

Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Darcy Lewis

Rating: Teen and up audience (for swearing)

Warnings: Swearing; mild violence; Darcy’s taser can be used more than once (because in my world Tony never died and he totally hooked a girl up)

"And why were WE asked to play chauffeur to this scientist?"

Bucky was grumpy. He was beginning to think he maybe should have just said no to Sam. But, no, here he was traveling in the middle of the night to retrieve some scientist.

"Apparently Doctor Lewis is a friend of Thor. Known her since his first arrival and all. Bruce asked if we could make sure she was safe. Special favor." Sam patiently responded. He was getting used to the two moods of the man next to him, grumpy and grumpier.

"Friend, huh?"

Sam shrugged, "Friend. There has been recent, credible chatter about her. The not so friendly kind. She's being moved to another, secret location but Bruce is concerned enough to think she might need a little extra, temporary, protection."

Bucky gazed out the window. To be honest, it's not like he had anything else going on and Sam was a good guy and usually decent company, if annoying at times. When Sam had shown up out of the blue and asked if he'd like to help it didn't take long for him to pack a bag and join him.

Bruce had asked for their help. He liked Bruce. The big, green doctor was calm and sensible and one of the few people he could tolerate for long periods of time. If Bruce felt strongly enough about the threat to this scientist then he'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

Soon they were pulling into the parking lot of a small building. A van was parked haphazardly by an entrance which in and of itself was not alarming. What was alarming was a man lying on the ground not far from the door.

"Shit." Bucky muttered under his breath. Sam stopped the vehicle and the both jumped out, hands going in jackets for weapons.

They both cautiously made their way towards the door. "I'll see if there's another entrance," whispered Sam.

Bucky nodded, face grim as he checked the pulse of the downed man and finding he was still alive, merely unconscious, he watched as Sam rounded the corner then quietly headed to the door and put his back to the wall next to it. Listening, he heard loud voices from deeper within the building. He didn't hear anything closer so he turned quickly into the doorway, gun up.

Inside was a hallway with doors opening to either side, several feet from the entrance. The door on the left was open and that was where the noise and light was coming from. He walked over to it then stepped just inside to find a man grappling with a woman, the woman in question loudly cursing the larger male.

"You asshole! Let me go," she bites his arm.

"Ow, you bitch!" He then proceeds to throw her against a metal file cabinet and she falls to the side, stumbling, before grabbing a chair that was nearby and hitting him in the side with it. He grunts before pulling out a gun and aiming it at her head. She freezes, eyes big, then snaps her left arm up, shoving his gun hand up while bringing her right hand up from her side and shooting him in the center of his chest with her taser.

Bucky watches in slight awe as the small, dark haired woman smirks with satisfaction at the other man as falls, shuddering and drooling to the ground. "Lady Sif taught me that one, asshole!" Then she notices Bucky. " Oh, fudge. 3? Hey, I'm armed! Back off! ". She points the now expended taser at him.

Bucky gives her what he hopes is a reassuring smile then raises his left hand in surrender while putting his gun away. "Doctor Banner sent us. Are you Doctor Lewis?"

"Us?" Darcy looks confused for a moment before Sam pushes in through a second door at the other end of the room. Sam takes in the scene and, noticing the man still twitching in the ground, relaxed with a smile.

Darcy places her hand on her hip. "Wow, Dr. B sent in the big guns, huh? Well, you guys have any zip ties or anything? These two aren't going to restrain themselves."

"Two? " Bucky moved forward and peers down around the corner of a desk that had been blocking his view of a second unconscious man. His eyebrows shoot up and gets a good look at the woman in front of him. Long dark hair, blue eyes, full, generous lips and a pretty coke bottle figure under the turtleneck sweater and jeans she was wearing.

He watched as she tugged her crooked glasses back into place and bit her lip and gestures at the unconscious men and cocks her hip. "Yeah, these two. I mean, I used my taser on both of them so we have a little bit longer but it'd probably be best to get them restrained before they get themselves together."

Sam grabs a power cord off the table near him and proceeds to restrain the men while Bucky just stares back at the small doctor. Bucky steps forward, and extends his hand to Darcy, “James Barnes and this is Sam Wilson”. His breath catches as she gives a brilliant smile and shakes his hand. “Darcy Lewis. And it is a pleasure to meet you”.

Sam stands after tying up the goons and realizes she’s still holding Bucky’s hand and the two are just staring at each other. He clears his throat and smirks as the two startle a bit and blush - seriously, Bucky blushing?

“You might want to grab anything important so we can get out of here before their reinforcements arrive,” Sam says.

“Right!” Darcy smiles once more at Bucky then heads over to her computer.

Bucky watches her and quietly mutters to Sam, “Just how good a friend of Thor is she? Is she a friend or a friend friend?”

Sam shakes his head. “Why don’t you ask her? I’m going to walk outside and check on that guy in the parking lot”.

Sam leaves the room and Bucky shuffles his feet. She was just so pretty. But now was not the time to sit there and get goofy over a pretty face. She was just attacked and there might be more coming. His protective instincts kicked in and he strode over to her to see if he could either help or hurry her along.

“Um, can I help with anything?”

She flashes that dazzling smile at him again. “This is it. I learned years ago while I was working with Jane to keep all the important stuff close by.” She waved at the laptop in front of her then closes the laptop and puts it in a bag. “I’m all yours!”

Bucky grins at her statement and she blushes. “I mean I’m ready to go with you. Away from here. Ok. Um, this,” she lifts the bag, “is the important stuff. We can get the equipment later.”

Bucky is having a hard time reconciling this pretty, blushing woman with the badass that put down two men nearly twice her size but he’s loving it. He can’t get over how taken he is with her and wonders if when she’s safe would he, could he, ask her out.

He offers to hold her bag but she declines only to wince when she tries to put it on her shoulder. “Ow. Guess I’ll be bruised from that idiot. Can you help get this over my head?”. Bucky helps her get the strap over her head so the bag rests comfortably across her body and goes behind her and lifts the strap to free her hair from under it. “Comfy?” he asks and he’s dazzled again by her smile.

“You know, if this situation weren’t so serious I would totally ask you out for coffee or something.” She shrugs, “but I’m sure you have plenty things to keep up you busy-no time for that sort of thing, right?”

Bucky smiles, “I think I would like that. But maybe we can make it dinner and a picture, doll? Or some dancing?”. He offers Darcy his arm and she takes it.

“That sounds fantastic.”

“Um, I’m not gonna have some Norse God hunting me down for moving in on his girl, right?”

Darcy laughed. “No! He’s just a friend.”

“Well, then. It’s a date.”

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love and Medicine ~ 15

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 4,365ish

Summary: The divorce papers are still an issue. (Grey’s Anatomy 2x05) [Finally! I know. Thank you for being patient with me!]

You grabbed your things and rushed out of the bar. Steve quickly did the same.

“Y/N,” Steve called.

“No. I don’t want to talk about this,” you replied, heading down the street. “Not now. Not with you.”

“Y/N…”

“You didn’t sign the divorce papers. Fine. I get it. End of discussion.”

“Y/N.”

“What?!?” You finally spun around to face him.

“Oh… I usually just say ‘Y/N’ and then you yell at me. I haven’t really thought past that point.” You scowled and shook your head. ���I actually didn’t have anything planned.” You hit him with your bag. “Hey!” He rubbed his arm. “What is with that?” You did it a few more times. “Hey stop it. Ow.”

“Seriously?! Seriously?! You know what, just leave me alone.”

Steve reached for you. “Y/N—“

“Stop it! I said leave me alone! I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

You stormed off, heading to find your car so that you could go back home. You were pissed at Steve and, mostly, yourself. How could you let yourself believe that he would be so willing to sign those divorce papers to be with you?

~~~ 

All you interns had just finished rounds and Gamora had you all in the hallway for assignments. Before she could call them out, Peggy interrupted.

“Has anyone seen Dr. Rogers this morning?” She wondered.

“His name is on the OR board,” Gamora answered. “He should be here somewhere.”

“Thank you.” Peggy swiftly walked off.

“Quill, Lang, you’re in the pit today. Val, there’s a cardiac patient waiting up for you on 2. Barton, they need help in peds. Romanoff, keep an eye on the Longs. And L/N, you’re with Rogers. I don’t want any problems. Go.”

Everyone hurried away while you stayed put. “Rogers?” You whispered. “Uh, I guess, which one?”

“Steve.”

“Uh, I don’t think—“

“Hey, life is short. Times are hard. The road is long with many a winding turn,” Gamora sassed. “He actually asked for you. Take it up with him.” Gamora walked away.

“Shit.”

“Shit? Oh no,” Tony showed up beside you. “It’s only morning. What’s wrong already?”

“Steve didn’t sign the divorce papers.”

“Oh,” Tony grimaced. 

“And now he’s asked for me to be on his service today.”

“Well, maybe he will sign them. He just has to think about it.”

“But I don’t want him to think about it. I want it… I want…”

“You want to be the obvious choice. I get it.”

“Yeah… how’s trying to get Pepper going?”

“I think I almost have her. I’ve been in on all her surgeries that I can be. Fury and Hill are even making it work.”

“Wow. I wish I had everyone on my side. But… I don’t and it doesn’t matter anymore. It has to be his choice, not mine, not me pleading or begging. It needs to be all him.”

“Wise,” Tony nodded. “I still think he’ll choose you.”

“We will see… we will see…”

~~~

“Y/N,” Steve greeted when you found him.

“Your wife is looking for you,” you responded.

“Oh, my gosh,” he sighed. “This is hard for me, Y/N.”

“Well, let me make it easy then. I’m not gonna be that woman. The one who breaks up a marriage or begs you to want me. You can sign the papers or you cannot. The choice is yours. Either way, when it comes to this relationship, I’m out.” Steve’s eyes widened and he went to speak but you quickly cut him off. “Nope. We aren’t getting into it anymore. Now, where’s this patient I’m supposed to be helping with.”

Steve pointed behind him. “Down there. But, Y/N—“

“No.” You walked away, Steve following.

“Y/N—“

“No.”

Finally letting it go, Steve sighed and followed you into the patient’s room. There was a young woman on the bed.

“Good morning,” Steve greeted.

“Morning Dr. Rogers,” she responded.

“This is Dr. L/N.”

“Hello,” you greeted. “Can you tell us about your pain?”

“I’ve had a twinge in my back for a little while,” the young woman explained. “I thought it would go away, but then last night my legs went numb. And this morning my back… the pain is just too much.”

“Miss Yang, we’re going to put you on a PCA pump,” Steve said, “give you some morphine which should help control the pain.”

“Thank you.”

“Okay, but there is a bigger problem here. I’ve just take a look at your MRI—“

“Cris!” A man exclaimed, him and a woman rushing into the room and to the young woman’s bedside. “Why didn’t you call us before coming down here?”

“I’m sorry,” Cris said. She turned to look at you and Steve. “These are my parents.”

“What’s going on?”

“I was just about to explain that Cris’s MRI has shown that she has myxopapillary ependymoma,” Steve answered. “It’s a tumor in her spinal canal. But the good news is that we can operate. You have a 95% chance of fully if we get you into surgery as soon as possible. We can’t wait another moment. With a tumor this aggressive even waiting another day puts you at risk of permanent paralysis.”

“Father?” Cris questioned, looking to the man.

Mr. Yang shook his head. “No,” he said. “No surgery.”

“Mr. Yang, without surgery Cris will be paralyzed, probably within the next 24 hours,” Steve said.

“There will be no surgery today. We’re taking her home.”

“Cris needs the surgery,” you pressed.

“And she can have it at another time.”

“Look,” Steve tried again, “Mr. Yang—“

“We are taking our daughter home.”

Steve looked at Cris. “Cris, you are over 18. You don’t need your father’s consent.”

“I am Hmong, and my father is the elder,” Cris explained. “He says I go home, I go home.”

You could tell that Steve was holding back from a harsh reply. He gave Mr. Yang a nod before leaving the room, you following after him.

“Hmong? Let’s find out what that means,” Steve said.

“Do I continue to process her discharge?” You wondered.

“Yeah we have to. It’s insane, but we have to. It reminds me of this case I had one time and this woman came to the office and—“

“Look, do you need me for anything else work related?”

Steve looked around the hallway before pulling you into an on-call room with him.

“Look, I was married for 11 years,” Steve began. “Peggy is my family. That is 11 Thanksgivings, 11 birthdays and 11 Christmases. And in one day, I’m supposed to sign a piece of paper and end my family? A person doesn’t do that. Not without a little hesitation. I’m entitled to a little uncertainty here! At least a moment to understand the magnitude to what it means to cut somebody out of my life. I’m entitled to at least one moment of painful doubt. And a little understanding from you would be nice.”

“I am not fighting you on this,” you responded, opening the door. “Not anymore.”

You stormed away. Leaving both you and Steve in an confused state of anger.

~~~

Bruce was walking down the hall when he noticed Peggy.

“Dr. Rogers,” he greeted. “Still here, I see.”

“I couldn’t leave you,” she responded with a smile. “Have you seen the other Dr. Rogers by chance?”

“I’ll tell him you’re looking for him.”

“Thanks,” Peggy walked off and Natasha walked up.

“So, um, thanks for, uh, being there,” she said softly.

“No thanks needed,” Bruce responded.

“Okay.”

“So where are we?”

“Uh, the north-east corner of a medical center.” Bruce glared at her. “Oh, I’m, I’m getting back on my feet.”

“Fine.”

“That doesn’t mean that—“

“Natasha.”

“It’s my first day back, I’ve… I’ve got—“

“I’m not waiting forever.” The lights flickered, causing the two of them to glance up. “And, apparently, I’m not the only one.”

“Dr. Banner!” Nurse Vision jogged up. “There’s a problem with the elevator!”

“And?”

“Dr. Quill and Dr. Barton are stuck in it with your GSW patient that they were bringing up to the OR.”

“I should have fought harder for the pit,” Natasha grumbled.

~~~

“Lightning hit a sub station,” Maria Hill told Fury as they walked down the hall with Peggy. “We’re running on back up generators.” The medical center had lost its power. “One of them is down.” 

Fury stopped, causing the others to do so as well. He rested his hands on his hips, annoyed.

“Breathe, Nick,” Peggy guided. “Breathe.”

“Don’t tell me to breathe, damn it!” He exclaimed. “The only direct means of transporting from the ER to the OR isn’t working. I’ll breathe if I wanna breathe.”

Fury huffed before making his way to the elevators. Gamora and Banner were there, watching some men pry open an elevator.

“How bad is it?” Fury asked.

“Two interns and a GSW to the chest,” Bruce explained.

Fury closed his eyes and put his hand to his forehead.

“Good air in,” Peggy coaxed, doing it herself. “Bad air out.”

Fury gave her a look before turning his attention back on the elevator. “Come on people! Get those doors open!”

The men working on the elevator doors, finally get the door partially open. Revealing that the elevator car was caught between floors. Peter and Clint were in there with their GSW patient.

“It’s jammed,” one of the workers said. “It won’t open anymore. This is as wide as it will go.”

“What did you two do?” Gamora asked the interns in the elevator, kneeling down to see them better.

“Nothing!” They both exclaimed.

“How’s the patient?” Bruce asked, getting down beside Gamora.

“He’s not looking so good,” Clint answered.

~~~

“Why do the lights keep flickering?” Cris asked.

“Something about a backup generator,” you answered, finishing up hooking the morphine up to her IV. “This pump will provide you with a morphine drip and should stop your pain.”

“I told you, I don’t need it. I’m going home.”

“You realize you’ll have to sign an AMA form stating that you’re leaving against medical advice.”

“Fine,” she nodded.

“I know this is new and confusing. I actually called a social worker, they’re willing to come down and talk to you—“

“Spare me the cultural divide, love. I grew up from the street down here. I play in a band. I get it. My father doesn’t. He says no, it’s no.”

“We’re talking about your ability to ever walk again.”

“That’s what you're talking about. I’m talking about my family. Have you ever even heard of the Hmong people?” You shook your head. “Our religion has got rules that are way old and way set in stone and way spiritual and you don’t mess with them.” She sighed. “You don’t anger the ancestors. Even if you pierce your tongue and play in a band.”

“What are the rules exactly?”

~~~

“Rogers!” Gamora shouted as she headed towards Steve. “You’re wife is looking for you.”

“I know,” he responded.

“Are you actively avoiding her?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged.

Gamora scoffed, shaking her head as she walked away. “You’ve got to deal with your problems before they all blow up in this medical center!”

“Steve,” you called, coming up beside him.

“Yes?” He replied, turning to look at you.

“You need to talk to Cris’s father. I’d do it myself but I guess having testicles is a requirement.”

Steve sighed. “Did you try social services?”

“They can’t help us. Mr. Yang believes that Cris is missing something that she needs for surgery.”

“Missing something? Missing what?”

“One of her souls. We don’t need someone from social services. We need a shaman.”

~~~

Peter and Clint were still stuck in the elevator with their patient, Tommy. The patient was getting delirious, trying to sit up and pull out the tubes and wires.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Peter asked, trying to stop him.

“I have to get home,” Tommy said.

“Tom, you’re in the hospital.”

He sat up. “Need to get home.” Clint and Peter quickly worked to restrain him. “No. Need to get home.”

Dr. Banner, hearing the commotion, peered through the small opening of the elevator doors. “What’s his blood pressure?” The attending asked.

“It’s not reading,” Clint informed. “He’s too agitated.”

“How’s his pulse?”

“Thready but it’s still there,” Peter answered.

“Do you have any instruments?”

“Uh, we have…” Peter quickly looked around. “Uh, just a code box and some gloves.”

“You didn’t bring an open chest tray?”

“No. We thought—“

“You don’t have time for excuses. Barton, blood pressure.”

“I’ve taken it 3 times,” Clint replied.

“And?”

“I can’t hear systolic over 50.” Clint looked down at Tommy, who is really pale and wheezing. “He’s gonna die.” Both interns look at each other, scared.

“Intubate him,” Bruce ordered. “I’ll be right back.” He went to push himself up off the floor.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

“To get an instrument tray. You guys are going to have to open up his chest.”

Clint and Peter looked back at each, minds going a mile a minute as Banner stood up. Gamora was behind him, having heard the whole thing.

“Are you sure about having them open his chest?” Gamora asked.

“No,” he answered before he hurried away.

~~~

Chief Fury and Dr. Hill were walking down the hall together.

“This is incogitable,” Fury said. “There’s not enough power to move those elevators?”

“They’re doing what they can to replace the back up generator now,” Hill responded. “Fire department is standing by.”

“All critical patients?”

“Moved to the south wing.”

“Incoming trauma?”

“Re-routed to the other medical centers.”

“That damn back-up generator should’ve been replaced last year.”

“Yes, sir.”

“So why didn’t it happen? Dr. Hill, you know everything. Tell me whose ass I need to kick.”

“That would be your ass, Chief. You didn’t authorize the replacement generator to save money for the new MRI machine.”

Not wanting to show weakness, Fury walked away. Grumbling under his breath as he went.

~~~

It didn’t take long for Bruce to return to the elevator with the things the interns would need.

“This isn’t gonna be too sterile,” Bruce said as he got down to hand them the tools, “but we can still try. Prep and drape the patient.”

“On it,” Clint responded, quickly getting to work.

Peter stood there for a moment, nervously staring at Tommy. Eventually, he snapped out of it, shakily helping.

“Okay…” Peter breathed out once they were finished. “We’re really going to do this.”

Clint just looked at him, both interns feeling completely unprepared, as he kept squeezing air into the patient. Bruce stuck his hand back through with a pair of scissors and a scalpel in it. He hands them towards Peter, looking at him expectedly.

“Take these,” the attending said. Peter just looked at them, remaining still. “Quill, take the scalpel.” Peter just continued to stand frozen.

“Come on, Peter!” Clint exclaimed. “Take the damn scalpel!”

Dr. Banner looked at Peter, completely confused as to way the intern wasn’t moving. Bruce shook his hand to signal for Peter to take the instruments. But the intern looked away.

“Ventilate!” Clint demanded, annoyed at Peter as he shoved what he was holding into Peter’s hands. “I got it.” Clint swiped the instruments from Dr. Banner. He shot Peter an angry look. “Okay,” Clint looked to Dr. Banner. “What do I do?”

“Make a large anterior, lateral, mid-auxiliary incision in the 5th intercostal space,” Bruce directed.

“How—how large?”

“As long as possible. You need to get 2 hands in there. It needs to be long and deep. Use the scissors if you have to.” Peter then made eye contact with Bruce. “Quill, hold a light up for Barton while you’re ventilating. You can do that, right?” 

Peter nodded, grabbing a flashlight from Banner. Clint took a deep breath. He was about to cut when Bruce startled him.

“Barton, be sure you don’t cut into the lobe of the heart,” Bruce warned.

“Uh… how—“ Clint paused to clear his throat. “How can I be sure of that?”

“You just have to be sure.”

“We’ll, uh, we’re definitely not in Kansas anymore,” Clint tried to joke before cutting into Pete’s chest.

~~~

You walked up to Cris’ room. Steve was standing outside, watching the patient and her father interact.

“Is the shaman here yet?” You asked.

“He’s late,” Steve replied. He glanced down at the watch on his wrist. “We need to get her into surgery right now.”

Before you really thought about it, you put a comforting hand on Steve’s arm. “It will work out.”

Steve looked down at your hand and then at you. You two stared at each other, lost in the others eyes. It was too long before you realized that you two were too close for your liking and that your hand was still on his arm.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, stepping back.

“Y/N, please just—“

You shook your head. “I’ll see how far our shaman’s out.” And you hurried away.

~~~

Bruce hadn’t moved from his viewpoint of inside the elevator. It had been a while now since Clint had cut into Tommy, but Bruce couldn’t see exactly what was going on.

“Barton, how are you doing down there?” He asked.

“Bruce,” Maria Hill said before Clint could answer. “The fire department’s here. They can get the doors open.”

“No!” Bruce turned to look at the crowd behind him. “Nobody moves. Nobody works not he elevator. I have an open chest and a very nervous intern in there. Keep them back until I give the word.” Dr. Hill nodded, motioning everyone back, before Bruce focused back on inside the elevator. “Clint.”

“I didn’t cut the heart or the lungs,” Clint answered, clearly surprised. “Dr. Banner, I didn’t cut the heart or the lungs!”

“Good, good. Very good. Now check for injuries and do a pericardiotomy.”

“Uh, I’ll need some lap pads, forceps, Metzenbaums and Satinksy clamps then.”

Bruce gave a light smile and a nod. “Yes, you will.”

Clint was quickly given the supplies and got to work. 

“Okay… I’ve removed the small clot from the pericardium,” Clint informed Dr. Banner. “No obvious cardiac injuries.”

“Any change in the vitals?” Bruce wondered.

“BP’s still too low to register on the monitor,” Peter spoke up.

“We need to cross clamp the aorta.”

Clint grabbed the clamp from a tray next to him and put it through the opening.

“Stick your hand in and bluntly dissect down until you feel two tube-like structures,” Bruce guided. “The esophagus will be more medical and anterior.”

Clint stuck both his bands in the open chest. “Ah, I feel one tube that is easily collapsible and the other I store muscular, spongy. I can also feel the spine, just underneath it.”

“Yes, you’re touching the aorta.”

The intern grinned. “I’m touching the aorta.”

“Wrap the index finger of your left hand around it and apply a Satinsky clamp with your right hand.”

Clint put in the clamp. “Got it… Wait, I… I think I can localize the bleeding. I… Well… I think it’s coming from the inferior vena cava.”

“Can you find the lesion?”

“Yeah. Yeah… I think I can feel, ah—it’s too far in to repair.”

“Can you tell me how big it is?”

“Small, maybe… like, smaller than a dime.”

“Okay then Barton, I want you to take your finger and plug the hole.”

Clint nodded and did as directed. “I think I can feel his heart… it’s… it’s starting to fill more. It’s beating a little stronger.”

“Excellent. Keep your finger there.”

“Okay. Now what?”

“That’s it.”

“Really?” Bruce turned to lay on his back in relief. “I just stand here with my finger plugging the hole?”

“Yes. Until we can get you out of that elevator and into the OR.” Bruce lifted his head and looked at Dr. Hill. “Tell the fire department to get them out of there.”

“On it,” Hill responded.

Bruce rolled back over and looked at Clint. “Barton.”

“Yes, sir?” The intern replied.

“You just flew solo.”

~~~

“Okay, Cris. We’re going to shut off the PCA pump now,” you began explaining, “which means you will be in a lot of pain for the duration of the—“

“The healing ritual,” Cris interrupted.

“Are you going to be okay with that?”

“Yeah. I can’t find my soul if I’m medicated. No pain, no gain, right?”

“Just, tell me this… you believe in it all too, right? You’re not just doing this for your father.”

“I know it sounds like a load of crap but… just watch the ritual. You’ll see.”

“See what?”

“The moment it happens.” You nodded as the shaman came in with Cris’ family. She looked at them. “I’m ready.”

To give them some room, you and Steve watched and waiting from outside the room.

“How long do you think it takes to retrieve a lost soul?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know,” you replied.

You and Steve carefully watched the healing ritual. And you did see what Cris was talking about. The moment it happened. You didn’t have to believe in it, but you did find a new found respect for her beliefs.

~~~

During Cris’ surgery, you and Steve worked in tandem. You felt weighed down the whole time though. Peggy stood watch in the gallery, smiling down at Steve. He looked up every so often, always looking at his wife. You noticed each time.

You had already finished scrubbing out of surgery by the time Steve started himself. You were outside the scrub room, pacing. You couldn’t do this, this whole pretending to not care thing. It was too hard. You burst into the scrub room, Steve immediately looking at you.

“I lied,” you said. “I’m not out of this relationship. I’m in. I’m so in, it’s humiliating because here I am, going to beg—“

“Y/N,” Steve interrupted quietly.

“Just shut up. You say Y/N and I yell, remember?”

“Yeah.” He leaned away the sink, listening.

“Okay, here it is,” you took a deep breath. “Your choice. It’s simple.” You started to get emotional. Damn it, you loved this man too much. “Her or me. And I’m sure she’s really great. But, Steve… I love you… in a really, really big, “pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window”… unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me.”

Steve was staring at you lovingly. He moved to touch you, but you pulled away.

“I’ll be at Happy’s tonight,” you continued. “So if you decide to sign the papers, meet me there.”

Then you walked out. Steve, distressed now, sighed. What was he going to do?

~~~

“Do you think he’ll show?” You asked, doing a tequila shot.

“He’ll show,” Happy said.

The door opened. You turned to the door hopefully, but it’s just Tony walking in. He came over, took off his suit coat and sat next to you at the bar.

“I got your message,” Tony said, motioning for Happy to get him a drink. “You gave him a choice, brave.” He nodded. “But he’s not stupid, though love does make you stupid sometimes. He’ll chose you.” Happy handed him a drink. “Thank you.” 

“Are you sure?” You questioned. “I… I literally told him that I loved him. I’ve… I’ve never done that before.”

“He loves you too. He’s just an idiot.”

~~~

Steve was sitting in a doctor’s lounge at the hospital, fidgeting with a pen. The divorce papers were in a manila envelope on the table in front of him. Gamora entered the room, dressed up.

“How’s your patient?” Gamora asked as she put some things away. “The one who got her soul back?”

“She’s gonna be fine,” Steve responded. He looked up at took Gamora in. “Look at you. I’ve never seen you dressed up.”

“Yeah, well, I’m suppose to have a date tonight.”

“Yeah? Anyone I know?”

“Like I’d tell you.” Gamora noticed the pen in Steve’s hand and the envelope on the table. “You haven’t signed those divorce papers yet, have you?” 

Steve shook his head. “Gamora.” He looked at her, pleading. “Tell me what to do.”

“Not a chance.”

“Why does this have to be so hard?”

“It’s not hard. It’s painful, but it’s not hard. You know what to do already. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be in this much pain.”

“I guess you’re right.” Steve sighed. “I shouldn’t keep you. Good luck on your date.”

~~~

Natasha found Bruce in the stairwell, as he went to find an on-call room.

“Hey,” Natasha stopped him, “I… So…” She sighed. “Here’s where we are. I work too much. I’m competitive. I’m always right. And I snore.” 

Bruce looked at her confused. “What?”

“I’m trying here.”

Still looking confused, Bruce took a moment to think it out. “Oh! Ohhhh…”

“Yeah.” 

“So?”

“Okay. We’re a couple. Whatever. DOn’t make a big deal about it.” 

She began walking away. Natasha quickly paused though and turned around. She hurried to Bruce, kissed him, and hurried down the stairs.

~~~

Peggy found Steve in the doctor’s lounge.

“There you are,” she said. “I’ve been looking, well, everywhere for you.”

“Well, you found me,” Steve responded.

“So?” She glanced down at the envelope. “Are you going to sign those divorce papers or not?”

~~~

You were still waiting at the bar. Tony was there, but so was Pepper. So as he flirted with her, he kept an eye on you. Val, Clint, and Scott had joined you.

“He’s not going to come,” you sighed. “You all don’t think he’s coming.”

“He might come,” Val said.

“Yeah, you never know,” Scott agreed.

“He’s definitely coming,” Clint said. Val quickly kicked him from under the bar. “Ow. What? Do you want her doing tequila shots all night? I’ll be the one cleaning up the vomit. Besides, I feel good. I touched a heart today.”

The bell on the door went off again. They all turned to look, but it wasn’t Steve. You sighed and turned back to Happy.

“Pour me another one.”

next chapter >

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[wannabe-fic-writer]

All Over Again - Chapter 1

Summary: What was lost can be found. - DC & Marvel AU

Pairings: Lena x Reader ; Implied Natasha x Reader ; Platonic!Avengers x Reader ; Platonic!Superfriends x Reader 

Warning: 18+ Smut, Language, Violence

* * * * * *

Sighing, you splay yourself out on the grass, looking up at the distorted view of the sky as the red leaves of the tree above you sway. The gentle breeze sends a chill over your skin but it’s much too calming for you to move.

“Am I going to have to start carrying jackets around with me again?”

The familiarly sultry voice meets your ears over the sounds of nature. It makes your heart thump faster like it always had but this time an ache accompanies it. Her joking tone holds an underlying nervousness and you have to resist the urge to scoff at the drastic change in your conversations together. 

You could never forget the moment everything shifted. Your entire relationship with Natasha fell to pieces. All the love and trust that had grown stronger each year that you were together seemed to mean nothing to her suddenly.

Months on the run from the U.S. government, planning your futures together, it blew to hell in literal seconds. 

Everything you’d grown to know and love was pulled out from underneath you with three simple words: Hi, Bruce. Followed by the awkward pause and nervous, Nat.

Hope rose in your girlfriend’s eyes and you were unsure why. The main reason being that you were recruited by Fury during the Sokovia incident. You never met the infamous Bruce Banner turn Hulk, and didn't know about his history with your girl. And Natasha hadn’t found it necessary to tell you about it either.

Which left you in the dark and completely blindsided by Natasha’s decision to end things with you. Simply telling you she owed it to herself to see where things with Bruce went. And you being the person you are and loving Natasha the way that you do, you wanted her to be happy despite your heartbreak. 

All of that rested on your shoulders at the same time that Thanos appeared. Your broken heart seemed to shatter further when you lost your best friend Wanda and the many friends you’d gained. 

For five years you hurt. Grieving your lost friends and dealing with your broken heart. It seemed as though Natasha breaking up with you wasn’t even worth it as Banner left after Thanos and they didn’t see each other for five years.

Even after the five years though, you still were coping with your heartbreak despite the Avengers having gotten rid of Thanos for good. As you then had the privilege of seeing Natasha and Bruce together. And you could admit that they look good together, happy. 

Which means you need to find your own. You just aren’t sure how. 

You take a deep breath and look up at the redhead who’s watched you in your silence.“ I hadn’t planned on staying out here long so I didn’t grab one.” You respond, deciding to ignore her not so subtle hint at your relationship and personal quirk. 

Jackets are just the last thing you think about before you leave out and Natasha used to take it upon herself to bring one for you whenever you were with her. 

She smiles tightly and nods,“ okay. Well I was just coming to let you know that Steve and Bucky are almost done with dinner.”

When you nod in answer Natasha waits, silently debating if she wanted to say anything else or not, but chose not to and finally walked away. You waited a few extra minutes before pushing yourself up and heading toward the compound.

As you’re walking up to the door, your red leather clad friend lands beside you, her magic vanishing from her hands before she flings her arms around you. 

“Hello to you too.” You chuckle, hugging her back. 

Wanda smiles brightly,“ hi.” 

A small smile of your own hitting your lips. You’d missed the young woman as she was away on a mission with Sam. They weren’t far, just on the East Coast, but they’d been gone for a week, which was more than enough for you to begin to miss her.

Before either of you step into the building, she grabs your hand and laces your fingers together, gently tugging you off to the side. Soft light green eyes stare back sympathetically,“ how are you?” 

“Wan-” you sigh, running a hand up and through your hair.

“I’m just worried about you.” A little pout hits her lips followed by a joking smile,“ and I’m kind of the only reason you’re sane.”  

You throw your head back with a laugh. Then shaking your head and wrapping an arm around her shoulders,“ I’m fine Wanda. Thank you for the concern and sanity.”

Placing a quick kiss to her temple, you guide her into the building, more than happy to have your best friend back.

Like Natasha had told you, Steve and Bucky already have the table set and everyone is sitting around. No matter how hard you try, your gaze finds Bruce and Natasha, the man leans over to say something to her and a cute smile rises, reminding you of the one you’d caused her to have before. 

A squeeze of your hand pulls your eyes away and you nod to Wanda before sitting down beside her. Usual chatter circles the table, Sam and Wanda talking a bit about the mission briefly, and then asking all of you about what’s been going on. 

By the end of dinner you’re a mix of annoyed and happy. Your friends had made you laugh and smile just like usual, except every time you got lost in the joy of it all you forgot what was across from you and your gaze caught the image of Natasha and Bruce flirting, laughing, and smiling. It makes you so upset that you still wish it were you with her.

It’s been six years! What happens to time heals all wounds? Was that just a load of shit? Would you genuinely have to deal with being all bitter and jealous for the rest of your life.

“Welp,” you smack your hands to your thighs,“ Steve, Buck, dinner was incredible, thank you, but I have a few things I need to attend to so if you’ll excuse me.” Standing, you grab your plate and glass. 

“Not so fast Y/Ln,” his voice rings clear not but a second after you walked away.“ You’re all here for once so I’d like to inform you that you’ll all be attending the Stark Industries Investment dinner tomorrow night.” Tony smiles, eyes crinkling in the corners.

Your eyes narrow,“ what exactly would the Avengers be doing for your companies investors.”

“Persuading, encouraging, indulging. Investors would kill to hear mission stories and about all your equipment.” His tone is sweet, as if he’s trying to convince you all to come.

A party/dinner isn’t exactly what you’re feeling up to right now. And quite frankly it’s not necessary for every Avenger to show up.

From the looks of Steve’s face he isn’t going but you still have a bit of hope that is, until he speaks up,“ Bucky and I have a mission.”

Tony gives an expectant gaze to the rest of you.

“I’m always down to party.” Sam shrugs nonchalantly before returning to his food, pretty sure this is his third plate.

Bruce sighs,“ I’m under the impression that this isn’t an option for me.” 

Tony’s grimace is answer enough, but he still says,“ it is not. Also, no offense, probably don’t show up all big and green. The venue is large but-”

“Ah ah ah I got it.” The big green man waves his hand, then smiling down at Natasha,“ mind accompanying me?” She instantly smiles and nods and that small little gesture is enough for you to head out. 

Further, Tony goes,“ Maximoff?” 

And Wanda responds,“ I’ll only go if Y/n does.”

Dammit Wanda!

Turning on your heel, you have every intention of saying no. Only to find her giving you that damn pout, followed by her whispering,“ please.”

“Alright whatever.” 

With that you leave, cleaning your dishes, and then going straight to bed. In the morning you take extra care to avoid Natasha, you eat while she’s in the gym, only going to train after she’s long gone, and eating lunch on the roof with Wanda. 

You make it as far as into the venue for the Investment dinner before you have to see her again. Even then you wish you were blind. 

God she’s beautiful. It’s criminal the way that dress fits on her. And just as your eyes trail up her long legs and over the curves of her body to her piercing green eyes, her looking back at you pulls you to reality. 

You no longer have the right to look at her that way. No matter how good she looks, you can’t look at her like that. No, the man beside her is the only person who carries that privilege. 

“I’m gonna need a drink to get through this.” You sigh, beeligning for the bar instead of your seat. 

Wanda sticks close to you, definitely having seen your staring. 

Leaning against the bar, you wait for the bartender to come your way, then asking for an old-fashioned and you wait. Beside you, Wanda’s eyes flicker over the room, a nervousness in them. 

“Hey,” you nudge her arm with your elbow,“ I’d say it’s not that bad but it is.” The young woman’s eyebrows raise but you wave it off,“ you just have to put up with most people speaking to you like you know less because you make less. Other than that it’s alright.”

As she takes in your words, you accept your drink from the bartender and hand Wanda a flute of champagne. She’s not a drinker but the little boost is needed. 

With a reassuring smile to her and the last swig of your drink and guide her through the scattered crowd to Pepper. The blonde is more than happy to walk Wanda around, introducing her to a few people while you make rounds on your own. 

Just like usual, most conversations revolve around everyone else’s business, or the occasional question about your work that you can’t even discuss. But you manage to do as Tony asked, impressing them with talks of your abilities and that of which you can disclose. 

Majority of the people you talk to take a liking to you, or at least the superhero you, and you convince them to invest in Stark Industries, giving the whole “a company that leads in medical and technological advancements” spiel. 

“Still hate these things huh.”

Breathing in deeply, you exhale and turn to face Natasha. Her green eyes watch you cautiously and you’re in genuine disbelief that the badass Black Widow is so wary of you. Since the breakup she’s interacted with you as if she’s afraid you’ll hurt her.

You lick your lips,“ Natasha you speak to me like you don’t know me anymore.”

A sigh falls from her lips and she looks down at the bracelet on her wrist,“ I know. I’m sorry I just- I don’t want to say anything I shouldn’t.”

“Right,” you scoff lowly.“ You don’t have to worry about my feelings anymore I promise.”

“Y/n I-”

“Nat.” Bruce approaches, completely oblivious to the awkward tension flowing between you and his girlfriend.“ I’m sorry, do you mind if I steal her away for a moment.”

You smile bitterly,“ oh she is all yours.”

Green eyes look at you with an unreadable emotion but you brush it off, walking away with a glance back that reveals Bruce twirling the redhead on to the dance floor. 

You square your shoulders with a deep inhale and head back to the one place that you’ve been able to breathe tonight. 

“Another old fashioned please.” The lady nods and quickly makes the drink and you smile in thanks.

Taking a long swig from the dark liquor, you sigh contentedly at the burning trail down your throat. Your few seconds of peace interrupted by a deep voice speaking cockily. 

“A beautiful girl like yourself drinking dark liquor leads me to believe you’re not enjoying yourself.” The man smiles brightly showing off his, no doubt surgically whitened, teeth.“ Perhaps I could change that for you.”

Narrowing your eyes at him, you pointedly down the rest of the drink, and tap the bartop in call for another.“ Bold of you to assume that I’m not having a good time.”

Before he can reply with his planned flirtatious remark, a lightly accented soft voice joins in,“ I’m sure Mister Richards meant no harm, he’s just a rather presumptuous man.” Her statement has you turning back to see who it came from.

Your eyes meeting the most gorgeous woman you’d ever seen. A sentiment you didn’t think you’d ever make after Natasha. 

Her black hair pulled back into a neat ponytail, not a single strand falling loose. Beautiful light green eyes stare back accompanied by a red lipped white tooth smile. 

In your daze of taking in her appearance you miss what she says to Mister Richards, but it sends him away, leaving the two of you alone. 

“Um, forgive me for this, no doubt, repetitive question but, what company are you here representing?” Your eyes subconsciously trail down the line of her jaw and it’s incredibly hard to draw your attention away when she speaks.

“Luthor Corp.” Her lips turn up into an almost knowing smile and it has you quickly looking up into her eyes, heart pounding when you realize you’d been caught staring at her lips.“ I’m Lena Luthor.”

Clearing your throat, you hold your hand out to her,“ Y/n.” You expected a warm hand but while it’s soft, it’s fairly cold.“ Thanks for the save Miss Luthor.” Your hand returns to your glass, the chill of it like that of her hand. 

“It was nothing, I could tell from across the bar he’d said something you didn’t like.” She makes mention.

You grimace, a soft chuckle falling after,“ you’ll have to forgive me, controlling my expression isn’t a mastered craft as of yet.”

She waves you off, casually leaning her side against the bar as her drink is sat down,“ it takes years, I’m still working on it. Come to enough of these and you’ll get it.”

“Oh I’ve been to plenty,” her eyebrow quivers at that,“ I’ve just never been good at. . .lying. No offense to you in any way, I think you’re ability to deal with all this social-”

“Bullshit.” She finishes for you with a chuckle.

Nodding, you laugh as well,“ yeah that. It’s a true superpower Miss Luthor, and of my many, that is not one.”

“Superpower is a stretch.”

Your eyes narrow at her, a small smirk on your lips,“ something tells me it isn’t.” 

Throughout your continued conversation, her charm and genuine goodness radiates off of her. The woman listens intently to you speak, she makes you laugh, and indulges all your questions with zealous passion. 

As the night goes on neither of you find much entertainment outside of your little space at the bar. Not wanting to go home inebriated, you’d long since switched your liquor for plain club sodas, Lena suggesting the addition of cherry grenadine just for flavor. 

“The idea is brilliant, which I’m sure you know, I just think it has more potential than power storage. What if you used it as a power core instead.” You shrug simply. 

Lena’s hand halts in movement, the drink in her cup sloshing slightly as the action,“ that’s genius. But it wouldn’t be easy. I’ve toyed with alien energy before, it’s much more powerful than expected.”

“Which, I think, makes it all the more useful. Depending on how strong, you could power an entire village or a small town. Imagine giving small pieces of the core to third world countries.” 

An amused smile tugs at her lips for the nth time tonight,“ is your first thought always to help others or is that just the Avenger in you?” 

You chuckle,“ myself and the hero. I just don’t see why we wouldn’t use the knowledge and resources we obtain, alien and human, to help those who truly need it.”

Lena’s mouth opens in preparation for her next reply, however it doesn’t come as a body weakly collides with yours. Wide eyed you look over to see your best friend, obviously drunk, leaning on you.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. You have to try the strawberry cake thingies.” Wanda tugs at your arm in a childlike manner. 

Frowning in Lena’s direction, the CEO shrugs. Gentle grabbing Wanda’s shoulders, you turn her to face you,“ what strawberry cake?” 

She smiles,“ the ones on the tray Y/n. The servers are walking around with- oO right here.” Fast as lightning, her hand shoots out and she grabs a small plate off the servers tray. Three little white chocolate truffles sit on it with milk chocolate drizzled over.“ Try.”

“O-” your reply cuts when she shoves a piece in your mouth. As good as it is, your eyes widen for an entirely different reason. Your tongue runs over your bottom lip as if to ensure you’re tasting what you’re tasting.“ Wan, how many of these have you eaten?”

Her hand raises to show three of her fingers.

Yep. The small woman ate nine strawberry champagne truffles. She’s drunk.

Lena, wanting to understand, retrieves one of the truffles and bites into. Her response is the same as yours. 

With an apologetic smile you look at her,“ I hate to cut the conversation short but I should probably get her home.”

“Of course of course. Hopefully we’ll be able to continue sometime.” She smiles sweetly and you nod.

After a short wave to her, you gather yours and Wanda’s things, and leave the building. 

“Y/n!” 

You freeze in step, tightening your hold on Wanda’s waist and pushing your free hand into your pocket, then turning to the source of the voice. 

Pepper takes the stairs quickly but with all the grace of a trained performer. She stops on the same step as you and smiles a little.“ I had to catch you before you left, Lena Luthor wanted me to give you this, and let you know that she’s expecting you at Luthor Corp soon.”

A slight frown pulls your eyebrows closer together as you stare down at the business card, her personal number scrawled on the back,“ did she say why?” Pepper simply shakes her head.

Truthfully she hadn’t been expecting Lena to approach her about you. Mainly because she had no idea the two of you met, she swore she’d introduced you to every investor there tonight. 

“Okay, how soon is soon?”

An apprehensive smile tugs at her lips, brows raised slightly,“ four days.”