#btw if you read it in their voices it’s even funnier

[gravecats]

Fuck it. Trailer Park Boys as tweets/text posts part one of ???

[crehador]

came into migi to dali with no idea what to expect. a comedy like sakamoto? or something more creepy-eerie as all the promo visuals seemed to suggest?

turns out it's this

"two of them" the anime

but no in all seriousness, it turns out migi to dali is very much both funny and creepy-eerie! and it's a combo that's working surprisingly well for me, the humor juxtaposed with a sense of foreboding really enhances that foreboding imo. i enjoyed the first episode and look forward to seeing the mysteries unravel throughout the series

although i haven't read the manga, the anime strikes me as a really solid adaptation so far. having a cast actually makes it a bit funnier to me, with the premise being "couple adopts one child, unknowingly gets pair of twins pretending to be one person" i just keep thinking aw well see your problem is you can't tell the difference between ayu and horie shun

big fan of that casting btw, like it's not unheard of or even that uncommon to have twins voiced by the same voice actor so the fact that they went with two for these twins in particular is just *chef's kiss* to me

[gildeddlily]

we stan homosexual behaviour (so dazai knew he was somehow already important to chuuya?) (woah that's gay)

[1. We Stan The Flags 2. We Stan Adam (Paul bby what are you doing)]

3. We Stan the "Demon Prodigy" (the homo prodigy maybe) (he ab to flip Verlaine off)

Adam's point of view? nothing better than it

yk what Mori how about you fall down the stairs and oh so accidently break your neck? no bad feelings just go die in a ditch (he's actually right, cause they're in the damn mafia and Chuuya has to kill the man who slaughtered his family. but he's mourning them and that patronising voice is killing me)

well maybe. but reading things like this makes sense, like who even thought ab just chewing something for a long time without eating it? ppl who didn't know ab it must have felt like Adam, they have my solidarity (Chuuya's about to kill him right there, first with the chocolate now with gums. imagine if he saw him eating pure sugar like it was water)

because he's a self harming asshole who still thinks he deserves the sheep's betrayal cause he was a "bad leader" sugar they were shitty people, and even if you were all fifteenish you didn't stab anyone without any second thought at least

No, you didn't get anything, you're a dumb bitch who makes me want to rip out my own eyeballs every time I have to read one of the stupid sentences you says. one thing I didn't miss about Stormbringer was Shirase talking again and again and again about things he didn't know and treating Chuuya like he was the one at fault just don't talk

ADAM STOP IT NOW they're always dropping height jokes about Chuuya and it makes me cry everytime (Asagiri thinks he's funny) (he is)

EVEN MURASE no I don't know why but I totally forgot everything about him. and I don't know if I'm happy or not, knowing how he'll end up...

why so romantic Chuuya him talking ab Dazai like he's a piece of trash is funnier than everything. this following the "dazai fell first" headcanon that basically is my bible (it's canon shut up, chuuya started to really love him after stormbringer just trust me)

and talking ab Dazai

so he thought of Dazai as someone dear enough to Chuuya to tying him to the Mafia? wow that's some serious charges Paul are you sure ab it? (I just imagine Paul about to kill him and Dazai being like "hey, you're the dog's lost brother, why are you here? me? tying him to the mafia? I don't think so, but you can kill me if you need it so much, thank you!")

you'll find something one day honey please stop you're making me cry (i love Odasaku but straight up telling him that he'll always feel empty is a little fucked up but I understand that you're traumatized too so dw)

he's so teenager just stop please (his writing is so pretty and the he-learned-to-write-properly-thanks-to-the-mafia hc is as canon as his name)

shut the fuck up. shut up. I don't wanna hear you. you're not even my shoe's king, just shut up.

AH AH TAKE THIS YOU ASSHOLE Adam doing what Chuuya wasn't able to (admit he wasn't the guilty one in that fucked up situation) Shirase needed someone telling him that he wasn't the fucking centre of the universe

Murase is the man every kid in bungou stray dogs needed. He already knows that is late for Chuuya, that he has already became a tool in the mafia's hands, but he doesn't want him to see it happens to others, or to be the one doing it. (think about Akutagawa, that entered the organization in some months I think, and became a tool in Dazai's hands. Chuuya was made executive in little time and he was for sure busy, but he was still there to look at Akutagawa craving for someone's approval to the point of becoming with time the Rabid Dog of the Mafia, Dazai's dog (funny) and he remembered what Murase said to him. just- him remembering. need more Akutagawa and Chuuya contents btw)

I hope you die (I love you but stop with the "little brother" thing you're hurting my eyes) (you're depressed like anyone else so stop pretending to be cheerful) (parallels with future Dazai? no alr stop)

not Chuuya knowing how to speak but not what bread is (people joke a lot about it but it made me cry the first time, and it's still fucking sad. and Shirase calling him disgusting when they were almost in the same situation? shut up please)

...yeah bby you're the mildest person I've ever seen

mild adjective, mild·er, mild·est. -amiably gentle or temperate in feeling or behavior toward others -characterized by or showing such gentleness, as manners or speech

yeah ofc you are bby

I hate them so much Chuuya still doesn't see the mafia as "family". his family has been killed by the only person in that world that could understand him. he doesn't trust Dazai, and he doesn't trust Mori, even if he respects him. He truly is desperate about the fact that the only man who ever tried to give him a chance died, cause the truth is no one will ever do something like this for him again. And the hitting his chest things is so immature and childish- like yeah we'll tell you ab his strength and power every two sentences, just to remind you he's been around killing people for years, but then we'll drop something like this to remind you he's a mere teenager

[cryptid-pet]

What about Shin x Azusa x Kino? Perhaps a date between the three??

Maybe two, three?

Azushinkino Story

Tw >>> NSFW//

(Note: I'm doing this from Kino's perspective in third person and the texts messages are color coded just to be helpful)

Beeping and booping of a game, flashing lights of beaming colors like a rave. It was only three in the morning and sleep was the last thing on Kino’s mind. Lights likes these we're like being blinded by something so beautiful, incredible.

Of course being prince meant no rules, sleep wasn't vital as holding possesion on a video game with a heavy number for a streak. Clattering and wiggling of joysticks, inward press to the buttons, this was a fiesty match Kino was in, determined to win. Hours and hours kept going as the night began to age into the morning very slowly.

Kino huffs as he got off his game and pounced onto bed comfortably, obviously not done with technology as he immediately caught himself on his smartphone. Texts flooded, over forty at least from Azusa and Shin within a groupchat. For this being the first relationship ever Kino found himself in, or that he squeezed into- It was pretty good, crack related over text is anything.

He finds himself reading the text that were seemingly flirty and dirty coming from Shin, thinking it would be him and Azusa along, which it was.

"When you gonna let me fuck you?" Was one message Shin had sent, he wasn't even daring to hold back.

The questions went on: "You going to let me use that mouth of yours? You'll come over and sneak out? Will you let me smash you rough?"

Kino find himself snicker at Shin's bold asks to whereas Azusa replied with skittish and unsure responses. "Maybe. Not sure." Azusa texted at some point, adding a :) to be cute. It was one of those sex comedy shows, you had to laugh to yourself at the stupidy. What was funnier? It was still going on, since eleven! Kino had taken screenshots just to reflect on in his gallery without needing to scroll. The final act of this sexting act was starting, Kino himself being the star.

"I've been ghosting this entire time btw..."

"WHAT THE FFCUWK?!?1/22//1"

The spasm Shin had was pricesless, even Azusa had to send a whole row of sobbing emojis on his end to sell it off. What's crazier was that the founder was so mad, he wasn't even able to type properly for about five minutes, the cackles offscreen where hysterical.

Suppose that is the point of a relationship: To be an asshole but be one in a loving way, in a teasing manner. Voice audios came from Shin hoping Kino would kill himself as Azusa just had to send one himself of him laughing sweetly, least Azusa left alone with Kino chuckled. Who needed sleep? Who did?

An hour would do fine. Maybe two? Even three...

[kamil-a]

its not about winning at girl. its about the boyfriends you make along the way.

this is like peak toxic elliot. hysterical but also uncomfortable!!

-elliot stay is what happens when you do communicate (discovering youre into your gf yelling at you to take care of yourself) and nonstay is what happens when you don't communicate (getting relationship advice from peter white)

-the WHOLE arc hes been so restrained, like, can you move in with meeee nooo sorry sorry i asked that im such a jerk!! and then the last second its like. you WILL drink the potion. and then later on he’s like You WILL move in with me. i cant STAND it anymore.

-afterward peters like ohhhhoho making her drink the thing is only delaying the inevitable though BOYS SHE HAD 1 DUTY POINT SHE WOULDVE JUST STAYED ANYWAY!!! 

-on an "alice’s will sneaking around backwards to make things happen to her" level, this was probably her own ambivalence, though.

-WHICH DOES NOT EXCUSE THE SHITTY BUNNY LOVE ADVICE CLUB.

-she describes elliot’s medicine kiss as feeling assaulted and it’s so so so uncomfortable to read. i definitely felt physically bad a little bit as i was reading it. 

-but it feels, yknow, not out of nowhere? it’s like you big idiot you asked PETER for RELATIONSHIP ADVICE. "you have to force kiss your gf" THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOUD SAY YOU STUPID RABBIT!!!

-its a little bit like. alice looked so firmly away from Elliots Questionable Actions And Traits that it all sprung up at once as soon as the pressure was on. and a lot a bit like qr's coercive quota had to be filled lmfao. but you know

-endless witchery

-babe it’s 202th turn time for your awful vial. (repeats forever)

-really not giving her the credit of even letting her choose

-the longer she stays the more duty points she could accrue theoretically and duty points win over any medicine!! it’s a losing gamble!!

-the wider the pool of characters who also make alice drink the potion mouth to mouth gets the funnier it becomes that julius ends his route by feeding her coffee like that. like she already decided to stay on her own he was just feeling like he missed out. obviously the winner is vivaldi for her incredible "the love between us made the bitter medicine taste like roses" maneuver

-ace isn't in the finale at all because he's on his way he just got lost cmon hes like okay i went to go give julius all the alice/elliot gossip and how she totally turned my dance offer down and now im walking home from the tower im almost there - oh it's over???

ace later, probably: you’re still a traitor btw ^_^ alice: TO WHO?!?!? IM HATTER NOW ace: ^__^ not a castle issue not a hatter issue not a park issue but a secret fourth thing....

-elliot DID realize alice was lying to him. he is smarter than she counted on him being.

-i posted the b/a/e pics last night but like its a huge power move for alice to express her actual insecurity with her own relationship and blood telling her “thats a good thing, actually, youre just bragging” and immediately she NO U!!!!! ‘s him so hard he gets all caught out being affectionate and sulks. 

-blood being accused of having affection for anyone: >:0

-really at the end of the day blood had a very good point though. if you feel you cant Do anything substantial for your boyfriend and he just enjoys your love and company for some crazy reason.... thats a good thing! that’s you being loved. i hope she learns that lesson.

-and she’s gonna be a hatter girl now so that’s more of her worries put to bed.

-TWO OF A KIND SIBLINGS BLOOD AND VIVALDI elliots like can i kidnap my gf and bloods like sure just dont half-ass it and then vivaldi watches the kidnapping go down and is like how DARE you.... carry her over your shoulder and not romantically in your arms

-you knowww theyre gossiping about it in the rose garden.

-elliot voice im sowwy for kidnapping you . to my house. im so so sowwy Do you hate me

-SHE STILL DOESNT KNOW BLOOD BROKE ELLIOT OUT OF PRISON OR THAT BLOOD PROMISED TO KILL ELLIOT. BY THE WAY

[noweakergirl]

Hi bestie 💖💖💖 I finished the first book in lotr and OMG hdhdhdhsbsbsbbssb I don't have words to describe how much I loved it!!!!!

That moment in the end where Boromir tried to force Frodo to give him the ring and then Frodo ran up and had to struggle between the eye and the voice(?) And the book goes how he chose to follow his own will!!!!! Nxhzjhzhzzbzb AHHHHH I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!! THE FACT THE RING COULDN'T CONTROL HIM!!!

Also I loved Aragorn's character so much!! He is my favorite so far. Also his friendship with Frodo!!! How in the end he decides to join Frodo to mordor even though he wished to go to Gondor, yet to help Frodo and Frodo at the same time decided to go alone to protect sam, merry, pippin and Aragorn!! The fact the he considered Aragorn amongst the people dear to him!!! 🥹🥹🥹 (it reminds me how in the start Aragorn mentions how he wishes to have a friend from what he is and why he did not tell Frodo initially about Gandalf, like yes you will get a friend in Frodo!!)

And Sam!!! How well he knows Frodo 🥹 i loved their friendship so much!!!

Also why did Gandalf die 😭😭😭😭😭

I also found Gimli slightly annoying initially but loved him by the end! How all of them (except Boromir 😤) were ready to fight for frodo till the end 🫶

(I am also having a little trouble remembering all the names and the terms but hopefully will be able to work on it by the end of the series 🙈)

Omgggg you are such a fast reader, my slow ass could never 😍

I am so glad you enjoyed lotr, it's such a cozy adventure at times and I adore its vibe. Until it gets dark and characters start suffering T_T

Ooooh, you loved Aragorn the most!!! Btw, he's everyone's crush in the movies so I am sure you'll love him there too hehe

Second book will have some reveals 👀

And don't worry about names, I still don't know half of them. All characters and places are mashed together in my brain aside from the main ones 😅 And what's funnier is that lotr is just a tiny scratch in the universe of Tolkien's places and characters, I am in awe of any hardcore stan who can remember it ALL.

Book 2 is my least favorite because there is little Frodo in it, but it's still fun time of course. Can't wait for you to read it and esp book 3, which I ADOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Please keep fangirling with me, I love hearing your lotr thoughts 💖

[m0e-ru]

HAPPY HOLIDAY S !!!! here are the answers to my moel activity book 2022 aka my birthday quiz but theres also a bunch of lore questions in there. part 1 !!!!!!! with the more personal stuff because i hit the image limit so theres part 2 hehe. here <-

YOU CAN ANSWER IT HERE FIRST !!! or read this and see how bullshit my logic is from the get go SORRY

Results

tourist - this was meant to be the lowest scoring result like you dont know much about me or lore like what it says !! you pass by my blog just occasionally like from a tag or a reblog. like a tourist at a gas station. yknow? but the way I scored was like you get bigger penalties when you pick a wrong answer whoopsie (●>ω<)ﾉﾞ

beloved okyakusan - okyakusan means customer I just think you might follow this blog or know enough of it to get some answers right but the way I scored it I dont think. anyone would get this. yikes

loyalty discount - you know more than enough of my shit on any branch I might have been in . YEAH !! you know a lot. I hope. or I scored it bad. BUT ANYWAY !!! loyalty discount realness

oh youre in this hole with me? - this was supposed to be hard to get especially with the more bullshit personal questions sorry. but I think you could get this easily while I’m looking at it whole. welcome to my hole. my friends call it a mineshaft or another said it was a lake from digging up a puddle.

Questions

mega blorboism go - mim, adachi, marie, teddie, souji seta, (bonus) akc [akechi]

OKAY !! first 4 self explanatory. Souji vs Narukami I like Souji more from his depiction in the official manga by Sogabe than the more official Narukami from the animes, spinoffs, etc.

well yeah okay I admit I was a goroboy back in sweet 2017 too bad I only made noise in the fandom in 2020 when Royal came out and GOLDEN had the audacity to show its ass in Steam. my highest note post is this dumb aksh comic btw. I thought nothing of it.

I didn’t include maruki he’s a nice guy but he never hit blorbo category I mean he’s there. hi sensei

What’s their ultra mega favorite p4 adaptation - VISUALIVE STAGEPLAY !!!

the audio drama and manga bags some points too. I’m OBSESSED with visual voiceless media and visualess voiceful media but if you try to wrap my brain with the shitty anime I might throw up

yeah yeah the animes were fine im just more partial to those three yknow. they’re a bit liberal as broadcast media so uhm… the way they handled a few details weren’t for me. BUT WE HAVE AIKA CHAN it’s fine. I dont like anthologies though now that’s just a ball out of the park.

thoughts on tohru adachi - []

these all bag points but the discord screenshot gives the biggest penalty. it’s funnier that way. thank you tekuya. context on the messenger one was that I was partially live-blogging to another friend while I played. IM SORRY !!! I was really interested if he had a social link or not. I did not know of the Horrors. <- only knew he was a bit of an edgy bad guy from the floating fanart and lack of blacklisted spoiler tags but it’s 2022 im built different. I want to put him under a magnifying glass and if he makes me mad I concentrate the light on him till he combusts.

kai moeru is a silly - []

three of these have points except you get bonus points if you choose either of the kpop fan names because it’s fun.

when did they take over the gas station - they dont remember either

september 2022 also gets points because that’s when I think I started roleplaying as a manager.

OKAY strap in here’s some kai moeru lore. I used to subtly role play as just some guy who’s at the gas station too often for their own good. they dont even have a car they just talk to whoever also passes by with their silly conspiracy boards, red string etc etc. then at some point I became the manager of the tumblr branch and that was that! I have discounts and vouchers and promos and etc I think it’s fun that way. im the ceo of moel gas corp on discord btw

when did it all end - “Ohh Mimi”

I mean this is when I started playing the game on my own and had a little too much thoughts about this dumb fucking npc. me and my dad started calling them mimi when we finished the game <- we were playing at the same time he finished first but I blocked out all the spoilers and had my own peaceful endgame. I give you a nickname and it’s ALL OVER !!!!!

or are you really so spineless that youd fold over some bullshit trivial threat on my life sorry for the royal question - small potatoes

like I said. bought royal on launch and finished it in two weeks where “small potatoes” was still there before it got patched out HAHA. i just thought it was silly. people were making essays about the expression then BAM. no more small potatoes.

whos the adachi of p5s (ROYAL + STRIKERS SPOILERS) - ichinose

okay I really liked her when I was playing OKAY? actually I dont think I’ve ever posted my doodle dumps ever but I always thought she had something to do with Sophia and EMMA and the formula making it look like she’d betray you or work with god at some point. SHE FUCKING DID it was so so fucking funny <- cried after the boss fight

i mean i did this. because it's ridiculous

what’s the first nickname they used - mimi

I did mention it before. I just think it’s really cute how it ended up being a household name for me. ive printed them out so many times, framed them and talk about them with that nickname at home that that’s how my siblings know them. it’s a very special name to me honestly. Time went by and I ended up calling them mim. hehe. not that I dont like Nami as a name it’s just that /gestures hands/ yeah

The whole Izumi Izanami thing is just that! Most of my devices’ autocorrects kept turning one word into the other I also ended up calling him zoomy instead and used one (1) “z” for Izy.

rie kugimiya - why are you pitting two bad bitches against each other

she’s the voice actor for both Rise and Haruka and I like them both !!!! You should listen to konnan janai

which emote is not part of the gas station discord server - nodding naoto

Now that one was from the Persona modding discord I think. I do have mim and Nagi rotating and the Adachi True was from a friend who also added Adachi False

[laurasstufff1]

hii bestie, is request still open? 😬

this request is for Lewis Hamilton, maybe when y/n first time appeared at the paddock after gave birth and everyone just keep talking about her body and she felt insecure about her body after giving birth to their first child and lewis was there to comfort her.. if it possible can it end with something smut 🥲

I LOVE YOUR FIC BTW, LUV YA!!

- Charlotte ✨

Obsessed with this gif from @yungbludz 🤩!😍!

Hi hello💘💘!! Sorry it took so long, I hope you like it bestie 💖💗💘

1.7k words

Mention of bodies insecurities, kinda hot at the end (I tried lol)

You really found it funny how much it was actually affecting you. After dating probably the most popular driver on the grid for more than five years, comments about you came and go daily. There were many good ones, but also bad, and you would be lying if you said they didn’t affect you. Truth was your mental health was in serious risk for the first year of dating him, and your relationship almost ended (twice) because of them. 

But love conquers all, and Lewis made you feel loved, made you feel pretty. He also made you promised you would never read those comments again, you also promised yourself you would never let simple words affect you that way, not only to you, but also to your relationship with him or with anyone.

And everything went smoothly, the last three days were actually the first weekend you went to the paddock after having your beautiful baby girl Eloise, two months ago. 

She was the joy of the house, a true sunshine, so similar to his dad it made you love and hate him at the same time.

“I want her to look like me too!” you jokingly ‘fought’ watching in owe how she simply slept. Lewis just laughed softly throwing his arm around your shoulders, trying not to wake her up but also trying to make you smile 

“I’m sure she’ll get your intelligence” Carmen, Lewis’s mum said. She was there helping you get adapt, and you couldn’t be more thankful to have her. 

“I really hope she does, if not, we’re screwed” you talked while getting up, and now it was Lewis the one who acted ‘mad’ between yours and his mum laughs.

It was the only thing you could think about on your way home, your little girl. Lewis was asleep next to you, his head resting on your shoulder even thought he had a whole bed in that private jet. Who were you trying to fool? You loved feeling him close anyways. 

Everything was funnier when he was awake and you could actually use his company, but he really deserved and needed that nap before touching down and going home to that little girl you both loved so much. You, on the other hand, couldn’t fall asleep that easily. It was like a mother instinct, as natural as the Sun: since Eloise was born, you couldn’t relax properly if she wasn’t near. 

But you also couldn’t put your phone down, and after refreshing your socials too many times in the last 5 minutes, there was only one thing to do, the one thing you promised yourself and your lover you would never do.

“Angel” it was Lewis’s voice the one that made you turn off the phone, and only when you saw your reflection in the dark screen, you realised you were actually crying. “Are you okay? You’re trembling and crying” he furrowed his eyebrows only then realising the tears too, cleaning them with his hand and tucking the blanket even more into you.

“I’m fine. I just miss Eloise. Go back to sleep, sorry I woke you up”

“Don’t be sorry” he simply said not wanting to force you to talk if you didn’t want to. “We’ll be there soon” he said again kissing the side of your head and placing your phone away so he could hold your hands under the blanket.

In less than an hour you were home, and tin less than three you were already heading to bed. Lewis was in guard tonight, his excuse was he slept on the plane, you knew  the real reason was he just wanted to spend time with time with her daughter.

“Why aren’t you sleeping already, mommy?” Lewis asked, making you jump in bed from the scared, you didn’t even hear him coming. What you did heard was that nickname Eloise was still too young to pronounce, but each time Lewis did, you felt goosebumps in your whole body.

“I’m just not tired. She’s sleeping already?” You asked not even turning to face him.

“Yes. What about you?” He asked again laying under the covers next to you, placing his arm around your waist, as he always did. But tonight, as soon as you felt his hand on your body, you just moved abruptly, away from him. Lewis could have gotten worried if he didn’t know what was going on. Instead, he sat on the bed, turning on the side lamp on his nightstand and resting his back on the headboard. “YN, I saw the comments you were reading in the plane. You cannot do this to you again”.

Only then you turned around and copied his moves without saying a word. You were in silence, the semi dark room, sitting on bed, he looked at you but you didn’t dare to do the same.

“My body changed” you simply said bringing your knees up to your chest.

“It did” he nodded.

“And I weight so much more, I don’t deserv-" “Weight has nothing to do with beauty. And you deserve the whole World. You gave birth to a baby, YN, our baby. Those comments are useless, it’s not you the one who’s doing things wrong, it’s them, writing those stupid words, they are just words” “But they are true" “And what if they are. Fuck them, YN, honestly. besides, I love it” he said in such a serious tone that it made you smile before he cheekily whispered coming closer to your ear “There’s more to hold”. “Lewis!! You shouted, immediately regretting it as you didn’t want to wake Eloise or Carmen, who was still there. Lewis didn’t mind, he just laughed at your reaction while positioned himself between your knees until you ended up laying on the bed again, but this time with him on top. “Stop it, stop it, stop it” you mumbled between giggles when he started peppering kisses on your whole face.

“You still have that glow in your face” he started whispering tickling your hair behind your ear “it hasn’t gone away since the morning we discovered we were having a baby” he said caressing your face with a leather touch before coming closer again and kiss your lips, holding your face properly while you did the same and melting into it the way you always did. He broke the kiss for a moment to then move his lips to your jaw and then to your neck, touching with his fingers the chain of the necklace he got you when you gave birth, with your baby’s birth date engraved on it “I must admit” he said between kisses “I bought he biggest pendant so we have space for the other babies we’ll have” he confessed.

“Lewis!!” You screamed whispering while hitting his back, which only made him laugh while he came back to kiss your lips messily as you were both laughing. But his hands didn’t stop moving up and down your torso until he reached the hem of your t shirt, silently asking you to take it off, which you did. 

“Don’t even get me started with your boobs” he said looking directly at your eyes, continuing with the list of things he loved about your body. Only when he heard your giggle he seriously added “you know I love your boobs”, making you laugh even harder until he placed his hand on your mouth telling you to keep it quiet so you wouldn’t wake up anyone. You took advantage of his gesture and kissed his fingers while he moved his mouth down to your breasts, you had to stop him when he started sucking them with the right amount of pressure, alternating with kisses, just because you knew you couldn’t keep yourself quiet if he did that.

He kept on going down to your belly, knowing it was your Achilles heel as you couldn’t get rid of the fat and looseness that came with being pregnant. He looked up at your eyes and smiled “the home of Eloise for 9 whole months” he said before moving his mouth down to your belly “I can’t believe you created her here, you are truly a wonder woman” he talked leading wet kisses on your skin while you tried to containing the laugh because it tickled.

You were about to say it was just nature, but he was after in moving his lips up to yours once again in the most caring and sweet way he ever did.

“Let me continue my tour” he chuckled when you wouldn’t let him go away from your lips, thanking him without words for his way of making you feel better, so much better.  

He indeed kept going down, leaving yet another kiss on both sides of your hips, just in the hem of your pyjamas, but keeping them in its place, to them move to your inner tights, sneaking his hands under your body so he could grab your arse, giving your cheeks a squish that made your whole body shiver.

“I’ll choose the stretch marks here” he talked before kissing up and down your tights, leaving some bites here and there that surely would leave a mark in the morning “they are the most accurate evidence there was a baby here, huh?” He talked moving back to kiss your belly. “Besides” he said again and just then a chuckled came out of his lips, alerting you he was going to say another of his nonsense sentences when he aligned his lips with yours once more “I love that you look like a zebra” he rapidly said not letting you talk as he rapidly pressed his lips to yours in a more fierce kiss that still didn’t loose it’s sweetness while you just  tried to laugh.

“Thank you” you sincerely pronounced when he let your lips go, thought he was still on top of you, and your hands were tangled in his hair.

“Thank you for being the best mommy and the best partner one could ever wish for, angel” he whispered before kissing the tip of your nose and moving to his side of the bed, keeping his arm around you, as always.

[yonemurishiroku]

speaking of the hades integrated au again: the deities that live on the underworld all love nico; charon sometimes gives him rides for free, hypnos will let him nap on his coat, the furies will spar with him. i would also completely ignore rr’s treatment of the chthonic deities and just say nyx loves him very much as well. i have a bias and its nico being loved by people.

Wisp i am sooo close to print out your asks and hang it on my walls right now.

YES YES YES ABSOLUTELY OBSESSING WITH NICO AND THE CHTHONIC DEITIES ALWAYS!!!

- Omg do you know that there’s actually a Hades x PJO fic in which Alecto has a soft spot for Nico?? Like Zagreus takes Nico on a day of work and they encounter Alecto and she’s just like,,, “Nico go hide behind a pillar or something while i deal with Zagreus” akdhkwhdkahska I’M SCREAMING!!! And she actually parries the fight away from him???!!! Alecto is definitely the scary aunt.

And Meagara. I read in another fic she calls him “Young Lord”, once, and i haven’t been normal ever since. Then she’s like “You’re grounded!!” and i can already picture the three Furies help raise Nico over the years as his secondary guardians. Alecto plays the sternly reprimanding one and Meagara gives punishments (most grounding) and Tisiphone just straight up fights him or takes him around poking fun.

Btw it’s so funny to think that the Furies fight with Zagreus daily but would take it easy when it comes to Nico. “Why can’t you be cute like your little brother?” Zag doesn’t mind tho he’s just amused. Would be ten times funnier if you consider the ZagMeg ship. (I know little about this tho)

AND ALSO Alecto did in fact acts like Nico and Bianca’s guardian in the PJO series. That’s it. She treats them like her own children bc i say so.

- Charon. My man. I read somewhere he calls Nico “Your Majesty”. And my mind has been haunted ever since.

The Charon in Hades would probably growl all the while listening to Nico complaining and whining about his problems, LMAO. Nico supposes he can’t talk other than growling so it’s like a confession so there’s that.

- Yes, thank you Wisp, Hypnos would definitely let Nico nap on his coat. Oh and he would send piles of fluffy cotton pillows stocking in Nico’s huge canopy bed just because he can. And also the little kid can really use some sleep to lighten his eye bags.

I haven’t mentioned this but I do have an obsession over Nico sleeping. Like he looks so peaceful, so at peace that my heart melts. So when Zagreus storms in the room for a play day, Hypnos would hastily cover the sleep Nico’s ears before kicking Zag out.

And yes, he would fight Morpheus if it’s what needed to keep Nico’s nightmares at bay.

Hypnos criticizing Hades’ choice of bedroom furnitures for Nico aldhakhdka this just came up and now i can’t stop cackling——

- Nyx. Oh my gods my Fair Lady of the Eternal Night (no actually i just made it ip). I love her so much as a deity yet Rick did her dirty. :(

If I’m not wrong, I do recall Nyx as a mother figure in the Hades game? Pretty sure she is. She seems loving to Zagreus. So I don’t think she has any reason to dislike Nico. If PJO’s Nyx was any like Hades’, perhaps Nico wouldn’t have suffered that much in Tartarus.

Btw I have another essay post about Erebus, the personification of darkness, adoring and blessing Nico. I stand by what i said.

- And Wisp you forgot my signor Angel of Death, Thanatos. He’s totally complaining to Nico about Zagreus and his piling work. He teaches him how to shadow travel efficiently. He greets him when they meet in the palace or wherever. He calls him “little Prince” and fixes his hair.

Nico stands between Thanatos and Jason’s soul. The god looks at him, pity and sadness hidden under the coldness in his eyes, his voice is calm and gentle, like coaxing an upset child. Nico probably looks like it. “I have to finish my job, Nico.” Before Nico can even breathe out another beg slash threat, Thanatos extends a hand. “But perhaps, we can find another way with your father.”

Nico hasn’t realized he has been shaking until then. Thanatos looks sympathetic enough, and Nico suddenly remembers that the god has probably seen enough of the living clinging to their deceased loved ones. He thinks about how Thanatos might be feeling and he can’t bring himself to resent the god’s pity anymore. Instead, he feels embarrassed for lashing out at the reaper, who is only doing his assigned job and yet takes his time to be gentle with a demanding child like him.

Nico takes a quivering breath and lets go, nodding for Jason to take Thanatos’ welcome hand, as he too makes his way to the god’s side. A steady hand on his shoulder, Nico meets Thanatos’ gaze, a silent encouragement in his deep pupils and pursed lips. “You’ve got this.”

He doesn’t know if it’s true, because Thanatos is just a reaper and despite Hades’ favoritism, Nico’s just a helpless half-mortal compared to the absolute of death, but the demigod musters all his strength for a soundless thank you and hope it reaches the god as the shadows engulf them all.

And if you consider the ThanZag ship, they would have helped Nico come to better term with his own sexuality. The Cupid incident wouldn’t have happened and Nico wouldn’t have been so cruelly played with. Or it could happen all the same, and then Zagreus pries the earth open to stab Eros in the chest.

- And how can we forget the princesses!!! My fair ladies, Makaria and Melinoe. Well Melinoe probably doesn’t like Nico that much due to Persephone’s quest, but Makaria can take Nico to a relaxing afternoon in Elysium and tell him stories about the heroes. She shows him every corner of her paradise. She cups his face and hugs him close, a hand draws circles on his back when he’s shaking like a leaf, his voice shatters when he asks her, “If they have done so much to be seen as heroes, shouldn’t they be allowed to live longer to get their own happiness?”

Is this all? I don’t know. My mind is still laying ideas like eggs and this ask isn’t helping at all.

BUT AGAIN THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I NEEDED IT TO KEEP LIVING

[secretmellowblog]

Lol I just saw you reblog something abt Enjolras from Les Mis and this is so stupid and not related really but I hope you won't mind me rambling, but

I genuinely enjoy sort of seeing Les Mis fandom by following you, like I'm not deep in it, I'll probably never get properly into it, and I definitely will never get around to reading The Brick (I believe that's what you call it?) in any case. But it's fun following these conversations and piecing things together and kind of getting different views to the characters than just the vague impressios I've gained from seeing the musical a couple of times (most of those being seeing the film adaptation of the musical)

However, I am also a Discworld fan, which makes it very difficult for me to really react to Enjolras in any sensible manner because no matter what kind of a take of him I see, I just immediately start thinking of Reg Shoe in Night Watch

Idk if you've read any Discworld at all, let alone Night Watch in particular, but Reg Shoe in Night Watch specifically is like... I guess kind of like Enjolras (possibly a fairly surface level impression of musical Enjolras, but what do I know, as I said I'm not deep in the fandom) if no one listened to him or took him seriously, and also if he just... became a zombie when he died, and then went on being an activist for undead people's rights for the next several decades.

So like, any time I so much as see Enjolras' name mentioned, that's the character I think about, a guy who very grudgingly agrees to change the "Free love" bit in the battle cry to "Reasonably priced love" because otherwise the sex workers won't agree to be involved and help, a guy who tries to have all these grand speeches and be a Hero and bring about A Bright New Future but everyone keeps interrupting him to point out flaws in his logic or ask unnecessary questions

So yeah, for Some Reason it's very very hard for me to actually ever take Enjolras very seriously, and like I honestly don't know if it's funnier that Reg is like that in one of the Discworld books, or if it's funnier that Reg being Like That in one single book was enough to ensure I can never watch Les Miserables again without a voice in the back of my mind commenting some really stupid things on like half of all the Revolution scenes

Idk if you'll find any of this funny but I just really wanted to tell this to someone. None of this means I wouldn't like Les Mis well enough btw, like I'm not into it in the fandom-kinda way but it's good enough. I'm just even more into Terry Pratchett's works, which may sometimes have an interesting effect on impressionable minds...

LDKFSDLFJDSFLSDF amazing

I really really need to read the Discworld books at some point. I really do. I keep saying that I’m going to, but I still haven’t!!!!!! But I really want to, they sound like exactly the thing I’d be into.

I have drawn multiple Discworld cats and yet somehow still haven’t read the books, like a fake fan  ;____;

[rainy-day-gracie]

America’s Sweetheart 5

hi there beautiful people !!

Read previous chapter here <-

The press finds out about Reader and Spencer’s relationship, and Reader opens up to Spencer. Cliffhanger at the end 👀

Angst + fluff !!

MASTERLIST

__

I had to turn my phone on silent. 

Person after person was calling me, asking questions, giving their opinion. My face was splashed over every magazine, tabloid, and news article I could find. 

Spencer had called me four times, never getting an answer. 

YFN YLN has a new man!

YFN YLN has risen to fame in the last few years, but that’s not all she’s seemed to accomplish. 

The american sweetheart has been spotted multiple times walking the streets of Washington DC with, not only a man, but a federal agent. After one of our sources found them at a coffee shop, the mystery man threatened to arrest our source and to leave YFN be. 

We have identified the mystery man as none other than SSA Dr. Spencer Reid, a federal agent in the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. Not only is Reid a handsome fellow, he’s a smart cookie as well. With three PhDs and a couple of BAs tucked under his belt, the good doctor has chosen to settle down with our very own YFN YLN. 

How did these lovebirds meet? Did the deaths of YFN’s parents affect the relationship? When will they be planning the wedding?

All questions to be answered. Tune in to our next weeks....

The pictures of Spencer and I were fine. We’re smiling, laughing. Nothing to suggest any gossip, drama, or otherwise. 

But that’s what’s going to happen. People all around the world will be watching, analyzing, waiting for what happens next. 

The knock at my door made me roll my eyes, the clever tune telling me it was Spencer. He must’ve come straight to my house after his case. 

“YFN, I know you’re in there! We need to talk about this-” I opened the door, revealing my disheveled appearance. Spencer stopped, concern filling his eyes. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” I said, quietly, letting him in the door. His old converse thudded against my wood floors, and I followed behind him at a safe distance. 

“Okay, what’s wrong? The press would eventually figure it out, that’s what you always said,” Spencer said impatiently, spinning around to face me. 

“I know! I’ve just never been in a relationship that’s so... public.” I crossed my arms over my chest, pushing past Spencer into my kitchen. “I’m just preparing for the blowback of rumors, gossip, drama. That’ll come too, you know.”

“So? What does that matter?” Spencer asked, pulling gently on my arm. I faced him again, and I could see his next question in his eyes. “You also haven’t told me about your parents...”

“You haven’t told me about your parents!” I shot back, my defenses coming up. 

Spencer didn’t miss a beat. “My mom has schizophrenia and my dad left when I was eleven. Those are my parents. Now you need to tell me about yours. I want to hear it from you over a tabloid or a reporter.”

I sniffled, pulling away from Spencer gently. I sat over on the couch, and he didn’t hesitant to follow. Spencer sat next to me quietly, like if he makes no noise I won’t notice he’s still there. 

“At the Academy awards a few years ago, I was nominated for best actress. It was my first nomination for anything, and I was still super young and fitting into the business. The newbie, you might say.” Spencer nodded, understanding. 

“I didn’t win, and I didn’t expect to win so I wasn’t super sad about it. But my dad took my ‘loss’ as a personal vendetta. He was cursing at me quietly for the rest of the night. At the parties after the Oscars, my dad got really drunk and wandered into a busy street. My mom followed him, trying to get him out of harms way when...” I swallowed, silent tears streaming down my face. 

“An eighteen wheeler going forty miles an hour hit both of them at two o’clock in the morning outside of a bar. The paparazzi were the first people on the scene, quickly figuring out the victims were the parents of a young Hollywood actress that lost the win at the Oscars. I found out about what happened from a reporter, who showed me pictures of the accident.”

Spencer was speechless. “YFN, I... that’s horrible...”

I gave a bitter laugh, looking over at him next to me. “My award winning role, the one that made my name... was a woman named Meg. She’s left on her own in the world, desperate to make something of herself. People asked me, ‘YFN, how did you act out that kind of pain?’ and I could never tell them that... while filming, it didn’t even feel like an act half the time. It was just me.”

Spencer didn’t say anything. Instead, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest. I breathed in the scent of him, smells of soap and new books. “Thank you for telling me,” he mumbled into my hair. 

“If I had won that Oscar, my parents would still-”

Spencer pulled away, looking me in the eyes. “Do not ever feel guilty. There was no way of knowing how that night would end up. It is not your fault.”

I nodded, exhaustion overtaking me and tears falling quietly down my face. We’d been together for six months, and Spencer had never seen me cry before. 

He just sat with me, rubbing my shoulders while I picked myself together. After a moment, he glanced towards my kitchen. “Do you have any ice cream?”

I gave a small chuckle, looking over into his coffee brown eyes. “Is that even a question?" __

Three weeks since my breakthrough with Spencer. Three weeks of running from paps, stealing kisses inside secluded coffee shops, and competitions of who can make the funnier faces in far off cameras. As if by a miracle, not one case tore Spencer away from me for three weeks. 

Until that three weeks ended. 

“When do you think you’ll be back?” I said, trotting up the front steps to my house. The phone balanced precariously between my cheek and shoulder, my hands full of audition scripts.

Washington DC nightlife twinkled in the street, making me smile. The world had gotten brighter since I had met Spencer. 

“I’m not sure, this case is complicated,” Spencer huffed, sounding exhausted. “Four days, maybe? I’m sorry, we had plans for the dinner-”

“Spencer,” I interrupted. “Do not apologize for doing your job. I think I can survive for a few days on my own. Maybe I’ll even rehearse without you distracting me!”

I could hear Spencer’s smile through the phone. “It’ll be torture for you though. You love my distractions.”

“Goodnight, Spencer,” I said in a sing song voice, opening the front door to my house. 

He chuckled. “Goodnight, YFN.”

The house was quiet when I walked in, too quiet. An eerie feeling settled on my shoulders. “Hello?” I called, feeling stupid. Even if there was someone there to murder me, what makes me think they would answer?

A thought of the notes crossed my mind. Those creepy photos of me on the street, torn up articles about Spencer, and a dozen roses to add a romantic touch. 

But I hadn’t gotten a single creepy note in months, since before I met Spencer’s team. The creeper had probably moved on to another lucky girl. 

As I threw my keys and scripts on the counter, I never even saw the arms circling tightly around my shoulders. Just the rancid smell of cigarettes and alcohol. 

Read next part here <-

TAG LIST : @squirrellover1967 @yomama-umbridge @tiktokslut @sknnymnne @pinkdiamond1016 @vixengustin88 @lexshead@briannareneea985 @thatsonezesty13 @april-14-blog @baby-i-am-fireproof@mollyann14 @andiebeaword @oldspirit @rottenearly @cyndagoaway @peculiarinsomniac @ithinkilovetruecrimetoomuch @mjloveskids666 @aberrant-annie @stardream14 @radkryptonitepeanut @sercyan  @deni-gonzalez @matthewreid @emilouu@witchxlove @yoongi-holland @fortrapsandfordaphne  @zozoleesi  @sana-li @frogsnfics @todaynotseen  @matthewreid @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @baby-banana @b-o-n-e-daddy @kendallambrosio@chevyimpala00067 @aquarius-pisces-rose  @liaabsurd @flick24  @niammain @koc-help @kris-stuff @criminxlmindsx

Let me know if you wanna be added ! (i’m real bad at tag lists btw lol)

[2dmenenthusiast]

Let’s be sad together (Peter Parker x Depressed Reader)

A/N PLEASE READ!!: heeey so before we get into this, this story is told in the first person, which I know some people don’t like but I felt it was best for this particular fic because there is some self-hate in here and I didn’t want the reader to feel targetted and make them feel like shit? I hope that made sense. keep in mind this fic deals with themes of DEPRESSION, something I myself struggle with. So if you’re not comfortable with this, please don’t read. I’ve read plenty of x depressed! reader fics, and most of what I read doesn’t do the feelings justice or it romanticises depression. It’s usually like “oh youre depressed? Well i love you and boom youre fixed!” Yeah I hate shit like that lol. But I am certainly not trying to romanticise depression or mental illness by writing this. I wanted to make a fic people like me can relate to, the thoughts and feelings, etc. It was honestly super difficult, I wrote the first draft and completely scrapped it cuz I hated it. I really tried my best here, guys, and I hope you like it. And always remember that you’re not alone and things do eventually get better. It just takes time and a little help. Once again I tried to keep the reader as nuetral as possible so everyone can read! (I fucking suck at titles btw)

Plot: Peter notices something’s been wrong with you lately, and you prepare yourself for the inevitable break-up once he confronts you about it.

Words: 2,562

Warnings: Themes of depression and anxiety, self hate, angst

Loving Peter Parker was absolutely suffocating.

Sometimes I couldn’t decide if dating him was the worst or best decision I ever made, but I knew one thing for sure. He had me wrapped around his finger, and there was no leaving him even if I tried. Not that I wanted to. Peter is… well, he’s perfect. Sure, he’s dorky and can ramble about technical stuff that I can’t even begin to understand for hours on end, but if anything, those things only added to the list of reasons why he’s perfect. Oh, and he’s Spiderman. My boyfriend is Spiderman. In other words, nights were spent worrying about whether he’d make it home safely or not, and some were spent patching him up when he came knocking on my window after a particularly bad fight. He made me happy. Happier than I had ever been probably. So… why did I still feel this way?

At first, a part of me thought that being with Peter would… fix things, I guess. That maybe if I was in a relationship, it would cause all the rushing thoughts inside my head to go away. And at first, it did help. There were more nights that I could sleep peacefully, and there wasn’t a constant feeling of anxiousness sitting in my stomach. But of course, that relief never lasted long. I knew it wouldn’t, but a part of me hoped it would.

Overthinking had always been an issue. Every situation had a “what if,” and this was no different. Thoughts of Peter leaving me began to occupy my mind almost every second of every day, and now, rather than feeling relaxed in his presence, I felt a constant feeling of anxiety. Like my heart was stuck in my throat and I couldn’t breathe, an invisible weight crushing my chest. Sometimes I’d get so overwhelmed with my feelings that I’d have to leave the room and calm myself down so that I wouldn’t cry. And other days I’d completely close myself off from everyone, laying in my bed all day and feeling so upset and worthless.

This wasn’t Peter’s fault. No, he treated me like fucking royalty. This was due to my own dumb self and my own dumb emotions and my dumb fucking ways of overthinking shit I shouldn’t even be thinking about. But it’s always been like this, and no amount of listening to sad songs and telling myself everything was going to be okay was going to change that. I wasn’t immune to feeling insecure either. Especially when Peter hung out with his other friends, but I immediately told myself not to think about that stuff. I didn’t want to be that partner that gets jealous of their partner’s friends when I’m not getting every second of their attention. No, thinking that way felt toxic, and that was the last thing I wanted to be.

But sometimes, I couldn’t help those thoughts from sinking in. There were so many people out there. So many people that were funnier and better looking than me… So why did Peter settle for me? Why would he want to date someone with so much fucking baggage? Someone who could barely get out of bed in the morning while already wishing for the day to be over? Someone who thought so fucking little of themselves as a human being? There were times where I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror, because those were the days I really hated myself. Sometimes I feel like he fell out of love with me a long time ago and now he won’t leave me because he feels bad, which only made me feel worse for keeping him in a relationship he probably didn’t even want to be in. 

I couldn’t say anything to Peter about this. How could I? He would just try to fix everything and I didn’t need fixing. I just wanted him there to reassure me that he loved me as much as I loved him. That he wouldn’t leave me because of how mentally fucked I was. Even if he did tell me those things, I don’t know if I’d even believe him. My mind probably wouldn’t even let me. I imagined if I did try to tell him everything I was feeling, I probably wouldn’t be able to explain it in a way that he could understand. I was just so tired. Tired of waiting for the inevitable moment when Peter would break up with me, and I’d be left with an expected broken heart. I’ve even been preparing for the day it happens so that it doesn’t kill me when it hurts, just like I do with every situation. Rather than give my hopes up and be disappointed, I just assume the worst from the get-go. 

I don’t know how it hasn’t happened yet. How he hasn’t noticed the way I just shut down when the day gets hard. How I constantly look like I’m just in my own head, either when all of us are hanging out or when it’s just me and him. I want him to know. I want to tell him all the shit that’s running through my mind, but a part of me is terrified that I’ll just scare him away. So I just pretend it’s fine. Like I’m not ready to bust and rip open at the seams.

Today was another one of those days where I just felt like locking myself in my room and never coming out. However, the usual excuse of “I just don’t feel good,” didn’t work on Peter this time. He knew that there was something wrong. I could see it in the way he looked at me. I thought I had gotten away with it at first, laying in my bed and mindlessly scrolling on my phone, not even present in my head, just kind of there. But I knew I was screwed when I heard a knock on my window and opened my curtains just to see Peter sitting on the fire escape. I didn’t say anything as I opened the window, just watching as he stumbled into my room while pulling on the sleeves of my hoodie, something I often did when I felt that familiar anxiousness creeping in.

He made sure to shut the window after he was inside, and I immediately shrunk under his gaze when he turned to me, feeling too ashamed to meet his eyes.

“Hey, um…” 

He hesitated, and I watched the way he rubbed his palms against his jeans, almost as if he was feeling nervous. I could imagine how he was feeling, though. I was nervous too.

“I know this is kinda abrupt, um… but I just wanted to stop by and you know, make sure you’re feeling okay and all that. I was worried, so…”

Worried? He was worried about me? I blinked a few times, trying to rack my brain for a quick lie I could tell him, but that wasn’t what came out when I spoke.

“Uh… yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, I just… I guess I’ve just been feeling kinda low today.”

I immediately wanted to swallow the words that left my mouth, not believing that I actually willingly let him know that I wasn’t really feeling okay.

“Oh?” He took a step forward, which immediately made me want to take a step back. “How come? Was today just not a good day?”

Peter was so unbelievably sweet and considerate, I almost wanted to cry right then and there. He always treated me so well… but he deserved someone better. Someone that wasn’t me.

“I-I guess? I don’t know, it’s just kinda hard to explain,” I muttered, reaching a hand up to rub the back of my neck that felt strangely warm.

“Do you wanna talk about it? I have plenty of time. I actually left the group to come see you, so I don’t mind listening.”

My eyes slightly widened as my gaze quickly met his, looking at him as if he was crazy. Hell, he just might’ve been if he stopped hanging out with his friends just to see me.

“You… Why would you do that?” I asked softly, my voice almost a whisper as I tried to keep it from trembling.

His brows furrowed and he tilted his head slightly, looking at me almost incredulously as he stepped closer.

“Do I need a reason? I wanted to see you.”

He said it so confidently, as if he was so positive that he rather be spending his time with me than his buddies. It kind of made me feel a bit guilty. He could be spending his time with his friends and having fun, but instead, he was here, and I was trying not to break down in front of him.

“But your friends… wouldn’t you rather hang out with them?” I asked, arms crossing over my chest as if I was protecting myself from something.

Peter just smiled. “I could chill with them any time I want. Why would I skip out on an opportunity to see my baby, hm?”

My hand quickly shot up to cover my mouth, and I could feel tears starting to push through.

“He wouldn’t say that if he knew,” I thought, and it immediately became harder to contain the tears when he closed the short distance between us and placed his hands on my shoulders, his expression clearly one of concern.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

I shook my head, sniffling as I reached up and wiped at my teary eyes.

“I’m fine, I just-”

You’re not. You’re really not fine, y/n. This is not fine.

My walls were quickly crumbling down as a tear slipped down my cheek, which caused more to follow, and I let out a choked sob as Peter placed a hand on the back of my head and gently pulled me into his chest, his other hand running over my back. He didn’t say anything, just let me cry to my heart’s content as I gripped onto the front of his shirt for dear life.

“I… I’m not okay, Peter. Nothing’s okay,” I mumbled into his chest, and he gently pushed me back as he carefully held my face in his hands, thumbs wiping at my tear stained cheeks.

“What’s not okay, y/n? C’mon, talk to me.”

“Everything!” I yelled, and I could tell he was surprised by my sudden outburst as I pulled myself away from his embrace.

“Everything is not okay, Peter. Fuck, I just…” I brought my arm up over my eyes as my bottom lip quivered, my eyes burning as more tears fell. “Everything’s just so hard and I’m so tired. And I’m making everything so complicated for myself, it’s not even anyone’s fault that I’m feeling like this. It’s mine.” I sniffled and wiped at my eyes again, but it did nothing to stop the endless tears that had spent too much time being held in. “A-And I don’t know what to do, Peter. I really don’t. I’m so fucking tired of hurting and I just want the thoughts and feelings to stop. Fuck sometimes I just wish I felt nothing!”

I looked up at Peter when he didn’t say anything, and found that he was just looking at me. There wasn’t any judgement or disgust in his eyes. At least, not from what I could tell. He looked… worried. Maybe even a little sad. Was he upset over what I said? Is he bummed out that he found out what I’m actually like? I let out a sigh and wiped my nose against my sleeve, suddenly finding my feet very interesting as I looked down. The silence was fucking deafening, and in that moment, I wanted to throw myself off the fire escape and into traffic below.

“How long have you felt like this?” Peter suddenly asked, his voice quiet as if he was trying to not startle me.

I hesitantly looked up at him, pulling at my sleeves again as I shrugged my shoulders.

“If you’re talking about all the depressing shit, ever since my early teens, I guess. But um… I’ve been having other thoughts recently. Ever since we got together, actually.”

I winced as soon as the words left my mouth. Would I regret this? Most definitely. Did Peter need to know? No, but he deserved to.

Peter frowned. “Really? Like… what kind of thoughts?”

I sighed and ran a hand down my face.

“Fuck, Peter, I just… You’re Peter Parker. You’re Spiderman! And I’m just-”

“Amazing, beautiful, the best partner I could ever ask for. Should I go on?” he asked with a small smirk, and I let out an amused huff as I placed a hand against his chest and lightly pushed him.

“I’m serious, Peter. I’m just… I’m fucked up, okay? Nothing about me is normal, hell the thoughts I have certainly aren’t. And I doubt you wanna be with someone who has so much shit going on with them-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Peter interrupted, waving his hands in front of my face. “Who said anything about me not wanting to be with you?”

I scoffed. “I mean, it’s a no brainer, Peter. You saw me just now. I mean, sometimes I break down over the dumbest shit-”

“It’s not dumb if it makes you upset,” he said, his tone a bit harsh.

I didn’t know how to respond to that. No one had ever really validated my feelings like that before.

“I-”

“No, y/n. Why would you think any of this would be a problem for me? I mean… No, nevermind, I understand why you would think that. You can’t help it right? But listen to me.” He placed his hands on my arms, making sure I was focusing on him. “No matter how messed up you think you are… you’ll always be my favorite person, y/n. You don’t have to hide how you feel, you don’t need to be scared. If you’re having a bad day, tell me, and we can have a bad day together. We can lay in bed all day and munch on food that will probably take years off of our life, we can do anything you want. Just tell me, okay? If something ever happened to you… shit, y/n.”

He then pulled me into a bone crushing hug, holding onto me as if I’d disappear if he let me go.

“That’s my worst nightmare. I could handle being kicked out of the avengers or any other terrible stuff. But losing you? Just thinking about it breaks my heart, baby.”

I felt the tears rising once again as I took in what he said, not used to hearing someone say these things to me. Leave it to Peter Parker to make me feel completely vulnerable and open, something I usually hated. I immediately relaxed in his embrace, letting out a soft cry as my arms wrapped around his waist and I buried my face in his neck.

“I love you, Peter,” I muttered softly, my heart skipping when I felt Peter’s lips against my temple, smiling against my skin.

“I love you too, y/n. Please don’t ever forget that.”

Maybe opening up a bit wasn’t the worst thing that could happen.

[my-soul-sings]

I had this scenario in mind and I can't stop laughing about it.

Taehee and Yooha: *arguing as usual*

Taehee:*loses his shit and throws an apple at yooha*

MC, reading a book about ancient Greece: Did you know that in ancient Greece, a way of proposing marriage was to toss an apple?

Taehee: .......

It was just business as usual in the house. Biho dozing off on the couch while holding a book, Hansol had gone out to do some busking with his band, and you were scrolling through Wannabe on your phone in the living room, trying to think of a concept for your new post.

The keyword: ‘trying’.

“For the last time! If you’re going to leave your half-empty wine bottles in the cellar, at least seal them properly! Now there are ants in the kitchen cabinets! Happy?” Taehee’s shouting echoed throughout the apartment, and you winced at the tone in his voice. It was loud enough to even make Biho stir in his sleep.

“Calm down, they’re just ants. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of them?”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about! This is about you being irresponsible and messy and—” You promptly tuned out the nagging, while you shook your head and sank further into the couch.

It was easy to describe the kind of person Taehee was: nice, gentle and mild-mannered. He rarely wore his emotions on his sleeve, being the type to keep his feelings bottled up inside while plastering a convincingly courteous smile on his face. You couldn’t recall a time when you had ever made him angry, not even when he saw the state of your room on the last Cleaning Day (you had forgotten to clean before his routinely inspection).

But things changed ever since Yooha arrived. It was like the fox knew exactly how to push all of Taehee’s wrong buttons. Every. Single. Day. It was like he was doing it on purpose, and you wouldn’t put it past him; the fox seemed amused by Taehee’s outbursts sometimes... or maybe it was just his default smug expression that made it seem like that.

Their fights were gradually becoming more and more common, and all you, Hansol and Biho could do was tune them out whenever they argued. The thing was, you knew this couldn’t go on forever. It had to end, for the sake of everyone’s sanity in this house. At this rate, you wouldn’t be surprised if one day their fight escalated into a physical brawl—and if goblin fire was thrown into the mix, the entire house just might become collateral damage.

Their argument was escalating in the background, and you bit your lip, racking your brains for some sort of solution. You wanted to plan your concept for the next few Wannabe posts in peace.

Yelling at them might work. Getting angry would guarantee an immediate end to their fighting, but that was only a quick fix. You had gotten angry many times before, forcefully breaking them up and sending them to different corners in the house to be quiet and reflect on their behaviour. And yet they continued their bickering like cat and mouse. Clearly, it wasn’t a long-term solution. You needed something more. Something better.

Your eyes fell on the two, studying them. Taehee’s face was growing red, as was Yooha’s. More insults were traded, their voices escalating still even though you thought they had reached their limits.

The rally ended with Yooha’s sheepish admission that he had left some wine bottles open in their room and that there were probably ants in Taehee’s bed by now.  

Even you gasped at that. And it was obvious in Taehee’s darkened eyes that he had reached breaking point.

It all happened in slow motion. The vengeful goblin reached for the basket of apples on the kitchen island, his fingers curling around the red fruit so tightly that its juice might come out. Then with exceptional grace, he drew his hand back and released the fruit from its grasp.

And then the apple was airborne, its trajectory a straight line towards the centre of the fox’s face.

Even Yooha’s reflexes couldn’t save him from this one. The apple pelted him right in the nose, and the smacking sound was audible even from where you were on the couch. Yooha’s groan was quick to follow, along with a string of curses.

You snapped to your senses. Enough was enough, you had to break this up now, before further damage was done. This was the first time their fight had gotten physical, and you weren’t sure if this meant irreparable damage had been dealt to their friendship—if you could even call it that.

In your panic, you racked your brains for a solution. You were already walking towards them, and you only had a few steps before you would be confronting them. There had to be something you could do other than blow up at them.

As your eyes darted back and forth between the apples and the two men who were now just having a death-stare match, your mind somehow directed you to a recent post you saw on Wannabe, something to do with apples...

It was the last thing that lingered on your mind when their attention fell to you, the sheer hatred and fury in their eyes making you nervously blurt out without thinking, “D-Did you know that in ancient Greece, people proposed by throwing an apple at their lovers?”

Silence. All you got was painful, excruciating silence. Mentally, you were kicking yourself for speaking without thinking. It sounded a lot better in your head for sure, but the execution... probably not the best timing considering the predicament they were in.

Well, if anything, at least their anger was now being replaced by confusion as they registered your words. Taehee looked at his hand—the culprit that had committed assault—and as the realisation of what he had just done sank into him, you watched as his features gradually contort into horror.

“Hey, I think you’re misunderstanding our relationship—” Yooha began in an incredulous tone. But you couldn’t bear to hear another word, or stay a second longer.

Irresponsible as it was, you fled the scene, leaving the two to pick up the pieces from their spat.

At the very least, the house was quiet again. Although, you doubted you would be able to focus on concept-planning for a while until the embarrassment wore off.

***

A/N: Sorry i took so long to do this ;-; just had two submissions back to back but i’m done so i finally got to work on this! Tbh i think this sounded funnier in my head but after writing it.... well i did my best HAHA i hope it was still relatively decent? Thx for the ask btw hehe <3 <3 

[genius11rare]

AH ChitChat Notes 3 22 21

Chitchat 32221 with Jeremy , michael and matt ft disembodied voices of lindsay and maybe kaden , gus in chat and joins

Jeremy: Kaden spoke up because of donuts earlier… Michael: Jacks time is over now… but he will be on stream later. Jeremy: oh yeah schedule. Slight last minute changes doing Fall Guys first cuz S4 came out… me michael  lindsay and matt did a letsplay in it earlier today … gus will be doing fall guys this stream (eyyy)... oh yeah and i wanna impersonate what jack does. Matt: do it. Jeremy: and if you're watching on the site we can see your chat like FatHippoHippo wrote BET in all capitals … yeah i just wanted to get into the spirit and be like “what would jack do, what would he think is funny” and that was it. Lindsay: alsoone of those WWJD bracelets from the 90s What Would Jack Do… (matt: ive repurposed them) Jeremy: so how are you doing? Lindsay: good weekend i guess , just telling Matt we watched Big Hero 6 yesterday (Jeremy: aw hell yell) still an awesome movie , kids loved it. Jeremy: where they scared of - idk if he has a name the kabuki villain… *looking it up* apparently its Yokai… guess they never really say it cuz that's generic. Lindsay: that's VERY generic. Michael: IVE GOT TO TAKE THIS CALL *facecam becomes void* Jeremy: ok spoiler alert for Big Hero 6 but just looking at the wiki… it makes an audacious claim. It says “professor robert calahan OR ALSO BETTER KNOW as his villain name Yokai”... is it? Lindsay: well its based on a comic right so i guess canonically he has a name…. But to answer your question No they werent scared … anyway something we noticed upon rewatching is that 2 characters before a MAJOR event happens to the fistbump… but DON'T do the explosion… like oooohhh foreshadowing. Michael: not really foreshadowing if they keep doing it throughout the movie , if anything its foreshadowing that like… hell… whats the robots name - baymax learning it… not really foreshadowing the building explodes (gen notes MAJOR EVENT) … what blew my mind was that movie has a post credits scene. Jeremy: oh yeah was it like with the dudes father. Michael: Fred yeah! Remember remarking upon them entering the house theres a portrait of the dad and i just went “his dads just Stan Lee… just a portrait of him” Post credits scene and guys talking to painting and - wasn't paying attention but he like hits his head on it and the wall opens up to show a superhero room with paraphernalia everywhere and Stan Lee walks in like “son we got a lot to talk about” Jeremy: Chat asking about if i watched the wrestling PayPerView… remember how i updated you last that the guy died in the ring after being set on fire (Michael: lemme guess hes a zombie now) - yep exactly last night a hand reached up and grabbed someones leg , he came out of the smoke with a melted messed up mask so yeah…. Hes a furry (i think?) zombie clown Michael: hey wait a minute let me read the chat , someone named Gus said “whoa no idea there was a post credit scene”  “what is a fastfood restaurant combo wish would open” Lindsay: Miss my KenTaco Hutt… Michael: idk im usually just in the mood for SOMETHING , not looking to combine , only time is when i want a certain food and they don't have the same sides i want other places have . like Sonic is amazing for sides , apps and drinks… don't care for entrees , but if i could get Sonic sides at McDonalds or Taco bell or something.. Jeremy: guess in the same vein id combine Dairy Queen with a lot of places (Matt: i was about to say) to get a BLIZZARD with whatever. Matt: that's how it usually goes anyway , you get the food , you drive by the Dairy Queen and get a desert - you don't get the food at Dairy Queen cuz why - just why Lindsay: i mean theres icecream but there isnt really fastfood places for other deserts… like theres not really a Cake or Cupcake place (Matt: not yet *tilts head at camera like “you know what i want”* ) there IS the cupcake ATM Matt: alright checking the google… Michael: Matts checking the driving distance. Jeremy: another questions whil matts looking up cakes (Matt: oh i already have it) nevermind then. Conware asks “what is your fave controller for console and whats fave controller you own” Jeremy: Idk really… i know for a while everyones was the Elite 2 Michael: yeah just most comfortable. Matt: well that's like a specialty type… if its a stock one then the switch pro controller is pretty good. Michael: i mean i also have this 8Bit do SNES bluetooth controller thing , love it Lindsay: i love the nintendo switch controller grip… makes it feel like it curves comfy around your palms Jeremy: the XBOX sea of thieves one is great (Matt: i was about to say…) got a glow in the dark skull in the middle , RT is like a gold tooth , is partly see through Matt: and it comes with some exclusive stuff for Sea of Thieves Lindsay: yeah like Motion Sickness. Matt: i got one that's just a donut. Lindsay: gave me an idea… you know how theres Pez Dispensers (matt: heard of them) yeah and how you don't really even use them right you just eat the candy and play with the thing  ( *matt nods approvingly* yeah about right) what if we invent a controller where every once in a while it opens up to give a snack. (Matt: yeah like everytime you get an achievement, Jeremy: yeah i did good! Just go up to the controller and eat it) “You Are Good Boy” Matt: be funnier if it just throws at you “everyone have a fave seasons and followup do you like seasons where you grew up or where you are now?” Jeremy: i mean springs probably my fave its easy to be outside , not boiling hot nor snow everywhere… great time to camp and fish , falls cool with changing colors… texas is like “do you want REALLY hot or hot?”  Michael: i do really like Fall on the East Coast but its like - yeah i miss it and its nice to be there when it happens where its light jacket weather. I used to wear sweatshirts all the time - i don't bother with long sleeves in texas cuz i know im taking it off within 30 min…  never knew about the Water Cup thing until i lived in texas where restaurants just HAVE water cups… blew my mind its free  - because people will drop dead . noticed they just have this seperate stack of clear cups which is i guess like “i BETTER not see any soda in that cup THAT'S  A WATER CUP!”. I don't like it when its 105 degrees but i do like being able to just wear Tshirts most of the year and not dealing with snow Lindsay: i like Fall the most cuz like its blend of i guess i embrace the basic bitch stereo types of fall , want my pumpkin spice latee but ALSO i know halloween is coming and ive said before how THAT'S like my religious holiday so like… i come alive. Matt: probably fall , maybe winter. I don't go out much but fall is like the right amount of cool but not TOO cool. Jeremy: over the weekend me and kat went to a town called rockfort (i think?) which is like right on the ocean , the weather was a little cold for it , like 50 maybe and the sea breeze made it chillier… im not really a beach person just more water. You say beach and you think  like Boogie Boarding Bros (Michael: whoooaah boogie. Lindsay: beach volleyball) yeah .. id reather be on a rocky shore than a sandy beach. Michael: youd rather be like a mermaid sitting on the rocks *jeremy laughs loud* is that what you're saying Jeremy: yeah Matt: attracting sailors to their DOOM Lindsay: i gotta send you a link but theres this one TikTokker i guess that i watch that talks about that an eastern european beach she went to and was like “i cant wait to go on my beach outting yeah!” and she gets there its rocky , really windy , noones there and goes “ooh its really cold” Matt: depends the kind of beach to me… for me East Coast beaches SUCK *jeremy nods yep* its water you cant see anything in its terrible Lindsay: that's also texas beaches , all brown. Matt: its just one of those things where you get in the water and your like “ok… at anymoment i could be attacked by everything around me”  Michael: well that can happen on land too matt (Gen Notes WELCOHME TA JOISEY!!!) (paraphrasing jeremy here) Jeremy: theres this guy who flys a drone out over beaches into the ocean , and he released the footage… apparently due to there being a lot less people now theres just Great White Sharks that go relatively close to beaches now… there are times where hes filming people playing and like 10 ft away is a fucking shark ya know just swimming. And cuz they're really far away hed be like “id see it , film it , then go to a lifeguard and show it like “oh btw…” “ Michael: so you know 2 hours ago someone may have been eaten. MattL he should put a speaker on the drone to like announce the sharks like HEY! DEATH OUT THERE!. Lindsay: “whats that Dronie? Theres a shark in the water?!?” Jeremy: and it was funny seeing that behavior where everyonce and a while a shark would be swimming then someone would do something near it not seeing the shark and the shark just goes “fuck dat” and swims away MattL god dude…. So close to death *gus joins* Lindsay: oh you're the guy who was like Texas beaches have Tar Gus: oh yeah i grew up in texas and i thought all beaches were like that just “oh you don't sit on the tar”

[igotyouniverse]

Stay With Me [LTY]

Genre: A n g st

Synopsis: Taeyongs heart aches for her love but she's with another man, leaving Taeyong broken and alone, wishing nothing more for her to be happy, even if it's tearing him apart.

Authors note:  Wow I found this piece on my laptop and decided to rewrite it a bit and upload! It's really just angst. It's completely based on a song, which means a lot to me, so it'd be totally amazing if you might listen to it while reading – it definitely adds more feeling! I hope you enjoy it nonetheless ♥ btw. Seriously this is in no way written in a romantic kind of way and this is absolutely not what a healthy love should be like. Please keep that in mind. + I hope all you guys are safe and healthy these days.

Song: Jesse Barnett – Stay With me

words: 3,8k

                                              xx

„Ah, I'm so happy that you're finally meeting him!”, the girl exclaimed happily, smiling brightly at Taeyongs direction. Her long, lovely brown locks fell down her head, meeting the glowing skin over her collarbones just perfectly. Taeyong couldn't resist but stare at her every movement. How she flipped her hair back, when she turned her face to look into his eyes, how her eyes seemed to hold the whole universe with all its stars and galaxies in them, twinkling whenever she lifted her mouth into a smile, which could end wars. Oh, he couldn't even count the times he told himself he had to end this for his own sake but he was too weak. He couldn't live without her light.

He tried his best to smile back as enthusiastically as humanly possible and hoped she wouldn't notice his discontent about the situation. Her smile got even brighter, not sensing anything. Or maybe she didn't care what he was thinking at all. Not anymore.

Taeyong oppressed a deep sigh as he looked away, trying to avoid eye contact, unable to stand her mesmerizing gaze much longer.

“He is really nice. You really don't need to be worried, I promise.”, he heard her say as she squeezed his arm lightly with her warm hand, which immediately made his legs feel as weak as jelly. He cursed himself for reacting to her simplest touch like that. He hated it. He didn't want to feel this way but it felt like a basic need to stay with her and follow her wherever she went, like he was drawn to her simple presence no matter what.

“But it's important for me that you like him. You're my best friend, Taeyong.”, he squinted his eyes as her words traveled through his ears, making their way into his mind and body.

Best friend. He bit his tongue, giving her a mild chuckle to overshadow his abused soul.

“Well, I assume he's a good guy from all the things you told me.”

“He really is. And he makes me happy. He really does.”, she said with a dreamy smile on her face. She looked absolutely angelic with her cheeks blushing in the slightest shade of pink while she brushed a strain of hair out of her perfectly shaped face. In his eyes, she was the most beautiful women in the entire world. But she would never be his. It wasn't meant to be.

Taeyong felt his throat becoming sore. Of course it was the most important thing in his life for her to be happy. He didn't want anything more than her being as happy as she could possibly ever be. Her happiness meant everything to him, even when it led to him not being the reason why. It hurt but as long as he had her by his side it was fine, even when he was just her friend. He preferred being her friend than being nothing at all.

“There he is!”, a bright, loving smile appeared on her face as she waved towards a tall, black haired guy waiting for them on a park bench.

Taeyong looked over the man. She already told him how handsome and gentle he was and a thousand other things which Taeyong didn't even want to hear but he needed to be a good friend for her to stay in her life.

The guy was indeed good-looking and much taller than him. His hair was just a bit shorter than his and well-styled, it had this messy look but it still looked perfectly good on him which made Taeyong anxious. He couldn't compete with someone like that. Compared to him, Taeyong felt just like the most unattractive human on earth. He was too skinny, too pale, too short. His lips were too thin, his facial features were cold and too sharp for his slim figure. His eyes wandered over the guy again. His shoulders were broad, not like Taeyongs slim ones. He seemed to be in a  good shape based on what he could see, unlike Taeyong who still felt like he looked more like a child than an adult.

From all the stories he heard about the absolutely charming guy he remembered that it seemed he was good at everything. Art, music, sports. She even claimed that he was the smartest guy she'd ever met, which also hurt. But he just smiled all her comments away, like the good friend he was.

“Hi. I'm Johnny. It's so nice to finally meet you. She told me so much about you.”, the guy chuckled and hugged her tightly, pressing a quick kiss on her cheek which made Taeyong looking away for a second. He really wanted to kiss her, too. He wanted to know what her soft skin felt like under his lips and hands.

“Yeah, nice to meet you, too. I'm Taeyong.”, he smiled at Johnny, trying not to stare at him too much.

It was awkward to walk with the two of them, feeling like the lonely third-wheel he actually was. He felt how the air left his lungs, leaving him grasping for the much needed oxygen silently. His throat felt sore again and his legs barely kept him up standing but he had to pretend everything was fine. He couldn't risk to lose her.

After all, she really seemed to be more than happy, she seemed to have real deep feelings for Johnny. The way she looked at him with nothing more than pure and honest love in her eyes, which shined brighter than the burning summer sun. Her laughter filled their surroundings, leaving Taeyong with a warmth in his body, even though he wasn't the reason for her behavior. He wished he was. His heart wanted her to look at him like that with such desperation it consumed his soul.

Of course he was skeptic for her boyfriend. He already met someone before him whom she was dating and after a very long 2-year-relationship he left her absolutely shattered and broken and he'd do anything to prevent that from happening to her ever again. The memories of her being nothing more than a ghost in a human shell hurt him even now. He remembered so clearly, how she stopped eating and didn't say a word anymore. She'd gone completely silent for weeks. It was only him she had left as her anchor and he did everything he could to be strong for her when she needed him most.

But Johnny truly seemed to be sincere with her. He took care of her bag, holding her hand tightly, not being able to keep his eyes off of her. Taeyong tried his best to take part in their conversations but it drained his energy. Pretending like everything was fine and him not having any romantic feelings for her was getting harder each day. All these years he managed to play his role as her best friend nearly perfectly but the older he got, the harder it was. It's not like he didn't try to fall out of love with her. He went on many dates, met new people but not one of them was like her – not even close. It didn't matter how pretty the girl he dated was – she'd always be prettier. She'd always be funnier, smarter, more caring and just the girl he was so hopelessly in love with.

Of course she noticed Taeyong's lack of interest in girls and got sceptical once, asking him why he was behaving so non-natural for boys his age but even then he managed to tell her some kind of excuse, telling her how busy he was and that he just haven't met the right women for him yet. Of course she believed him. She'd never assume that he had feelings for her. Or maybe she ignored it on purpose to spare his feelings. Maybe she knew.

He nodded here and then, chuckling at some lame jokes Johnny cracked at which she laughed until she was out of breath. He wasn't even that funny, Taeyong thought. He tried to make as much smalltalk as he could bear, asking questions here and there. Questions he didn't even want to know the answer to, but he didn't want her to be mad or some kind of worried. He just wanted her to keep on liking him and needing him in her life but slowly a dark feeling spread through his veins, poisoning his thoughts. She won't need me anymore. He bit his tongue, trying to shake these thoughts off. No. He couldn't let that happen – ever. He was nothing without her. Taeyong was sure, she'd still need him. People always needed friends, even when they got into a relationship.

“I think I gotta go, need to run some errands before the store closes.”, he said while smiling at them.

His head started to hurt and he knew that he really needed to go and clean his thoughts as he wouldn't be able to bury them for much longer as all these poisonous emotions contaminated his mind and body

“Oh, okay then. Thanks for coming with me, it really meant a lot to me.”, he heard her saying as she let go of her boyfriend for a second to hug her friend. He closed his eyes for just a brief second and inhaled her soothing scent of mild peony and rose. He cherished every single second of her hug, feeling how she squeezed his slim figure slightly. Taeyong wasn't quite sure if this would be the last hug he'd get in a long time, nor the last time he'd be able to see her.

“Don't worry. I won't forget you, okay? You're my best friend after all.”, she whispered in his ear, filling his heart with her warmth, leaving him with all these feelings as she let go of him to entangle her fingers with her boyfriend's.

“Sure.”, he answered silently trying to hide his voice cracking, slightly smiling, shaking the dark thoughts off.

He waved at Johnny and turned away, making his way home. His head was full of thoughts, screaming at him, wanting him to beg her to leave Johnny to stay with him but he knew she wouldn't. He knew, she'd never love him the way he did so deeply and desperately. There would never be a future for them together as a couple and at this moment he even doubted that there would be a future for them as friends. Taeyong wasn't sure why this feeling wouldn't leave him. It was just inside of him, sitting in his stomach, filling it with pain and making him feel like he was about to throw up, slowly absorbing his heart until it was impossible to ignore any longer.

Taeyong didn't hear from her for a long while. Hours became days, days became weeks and weeks became months. Sometimes she messaged him, asking how he's doing, if everything's alright. Just some trivial smalltalk to keep her peace of conscience. It turned out exactly as he feared. He felt how his body became heavier and the thoughts darker over the time. Himself now turning into this ghost he feared to become. Once again, he was too weak to finally break free from the spell she put on him. No, he couldn't live without her light.

He tried to be a good friend for her. Taeyong knew he wasn't able to give her more. All he could give her was him being her best friend, even when her life was moving forward, not needing him as much as before. He replied to every of her texts, casually asking how her studies and relationship went. He soaked in every bits of her words, even when her answers came back sporadically and didn't have much content to answer to. But he never gave up – he just couldn't because she would need him some day eventually and he didn't want to miss it. No, he needed to be there for her at any time or he'd loose her.

It was a surprise when she actually called him one day to meet for a coffee, which he accepted instantly as his mood finally lightened up the first time in months. He thought of any reason why she'd suddenly want to meet up. Of course he thought about a break-up but he didn't want her to feel pain in any kind of way. Part of him wanted them to break up and he felt bad. But the other part, which was still so blindly in love with this girl he'd never get in his life only wanted her to be happy and hoped for them to be still together. He knew his feelings were pure poison for his fragile soul but he wasn't able to move on and bury them. He couldn't free himself from this nothing he had become.  

He tried his best to calm his nerves before meeting her but his joy was enormous as he saw her already sitting on a small table, typing something on her smartphone. She wore her long hair in a casual bun, a beautiful delicate golden necklace flattered her neck. The moment she looked up, giving him the most beautiful smile he'd ever witnessed, his heart made a jump, finally feeling something more again as the world which became so gray and dull got his colors back. But something felt odd, he realized. Something felt wrong.

“Hey, nice to meet you.”, he said, giving her a small smile before he sat down in front of her.

“Long time no see. I really missed you! But my life just went on crazy. So many things happened. I had to study a lot and then all of a sudden Johnny asked me to move in with him! Isn't this amazing? I'm finally happy, Taeyong.”, she said while smiling brightly at him, her voice full of happiness which made his heart flutter, yet sting with pain.

She stood up and gave him a brief hug. She never hugged him that briefly.

But seeing her being so happy and lighthearted made him feel the same as his body warmed up slightly, pushing away his cold thoughts. This is all he ever wanted her to be.

“That's really great. I'm happy for you.”, he answered, ordering a cup of tea for both of them. His answer wasn't a lie. He was indeed happy for her – but not for himself. It still hurt.

The next hours were balm for his flawed soul. He enjoyed listening to all of her stories and what happened these past months. Taeyong was just looking at her, smiling and laughing about the things she said, losing himself in her eyes once again. They sparkled and shined when she talked, which made his body feel with the familiar warmth he always felt whenever she talked to him. He was absolutely under her spell, which he was completely aware of. But he didn't care. As long as he was under her spell he was at least something.

She told him how she aced all of her exams, even the hard ones she was so anxious about and how her professor praised her essays, telling her that she had great potential to become successful in her life. Taeyong was truly happy for her, even when she started to talk about how great her relationship with Johnny was. He felt something sting in his heart and how his thoughts started to scream again. She told him how gentle and affectionate her boyfriend was, treating her like a princess as he'd do anything for her, including moving in together. He tried to keep up his smile, when his throat began to feel sore and close up. He wanted to tell her that he could make her feel this way, too. He'd treat her not only like a princess but like the queen she was for him.

He thought it was fast to move in after such a short time but he remained silent and just nodded, telling her how happy he was and that he trusted her to take care of herself, telling her he was always there for her, no matter what.

“It's so great to talk to you. I really missed this.”, she sighed and took his hand for a second, sending shivers down his body, which gave him goosebumps.

“Thank you for being such a great friends for all these years. I really appreciate it and I hope that we'll be friends forever, Taeyong.”, her words made his heart flutter again, but they had a bitter aftertaste.

He'd never be more than her friend. He thought about it over and over again. All these years he never left her side, followed her wherever she was going and he didn't regret a single second of it. She was always there for him, too, taking care of him when he was sick, talking to him in the middle of the night when he wasn't able to sleep or simply sitting next to him in silence when he didn't want to be alone. She knew nearly all of his secrets, what he likes and dislikes, his favorite dishes, which she cooked a dozen times for him already. And so did he. He knew that her favorite color was yellow, like the sun. She enjoyed the summer and loved the feeling of the warm sand on the beach between her toes while eating strawberry ice cream until her stomach hurt. He knew her deepest and darkest fears, or at least he did know them.

“Same here. I'm very glad to have you.”, he said, feeling this piercing pain in his chest again.

The sudden ringing of her smartphone let him flinch. He pulled his hand back and looked away, feeling like he was back into reality. She picked up her phone, instantly smiling when she heard the voice on the other side. It had to be Johnny, Taeyong thought. And he was right.

“Johnny will be here any second to pick me up. But we'll meet again, I promise.”, she stood up as Taeyong payed for their drinks and led her outside. He wasn't sure if she really wanted to meet him again or if she was just being polite. He felt how his throat became sore and he bit his tongue. He didn't want all the thoughts rumoring inside his head again.

As if the universe read his thoughts it started to rain and they had to wait inside the café for Johnny, who was already on the other side of the street with an umbrella. Taeyong didn't want their meeting to end just now. He desperately wanted it to last just one more moment. He needed it to last longer but he knew she'd go with her boyfriend, of course. He inhaled every last second of her standing next to him and talking while breathing in her wonderful scent of lavender and vanilla. He always loved the way she scented, it felt like a soft cloud surrounding him, making his mind dizzy. He wanted her to stay just for a second longer, sitting there with him, talking about everything and nothing at all. He needed her presence so hopelessly to feel something again, even if his blissful happiness mixed with the bitter taste of pain and loss. He gladly endured it to be by her side again.

Taeyong looked at Johnny who spotted the two of them, smiling brightly, while waving. He clenched his teeth, looking at her face. He needed her to stay with him. He needed her more than anything he ever needed before but he knew it had to stop. Taeyong needed her to go and leave him, even if it would destroy him.

“Hey guys.”, Johnny entered the café and hugged his girlfriend tightly. “I hope you two had fun.”, he added.

“Sure, nice to see you.”, Taeyong answered politely and smiled.

“You're ready to go home? It's the perfect weather for a movie night.”, Johnny said to her and she gave him the most beautiful smile Taeyong ever saw. “Can't wait!”, she sighed.

“See you soon, okay?”, she turned to Taeyong who nodded and waved as the two of them left the café.

He saw how Johnny held the umbrella and how she snuggled against him, leaving Taeyong behind. He felt like all the warmth she made him feel was gone and all he had left was cold surrounding him, his world turning gray again.

He stepped outside, not caring about getting wet in the rain. His apartment wasn't far away but he felt like he desperately needed some fresh air to clean his thoughts. He couldn't resist the thoughts of her going home with a man who wasn't him. The thoughts of her sharing all the secrets she used to share only with him. The thoughts of her lying next to this man while he remained to sleep alone. The thoughts of her, embracing this man so lovingly and intimate, full of the love Taeyong still wished to get from her one day, even though he knew it was impossible.

He knew that it was toxic to bathe in these thoughts but he needed to feel something, even it was just sweet melancholia.

Taeyong felt the cold rain hitting the bare skin of his arms and face, letting him shiver but he didn't mind. He knew that he wasn't able to continue his life like this, living and breathing only for the women he'd never have in his life.

He closed his eyes, facing the dark clouds upon him and took a deep breath. In the past, he used to cry a lot whenever his feelings overwhelmed him but lately it felt like he had no tears left. They were just gone, leaving him with this heavy feeling of nothing. A nothingness, so pitch black, he saw it as a monster which one day appeared on his shoulder, whispering all these things in his ears, poisoning his mind and soul. It was like it grew bigger and bigger with each day passing by, consuming his very life each day, he could even feel the grin on its face even though it appeared to be faceless to him.

She had always been the light of his life, guiding him out of all the bad things happening to him, reaching for his hands to help him get up on his feet again. He couldn't stand the feeling of loosing her, of her drifting apart. He wanted to call her, telling her he needed her like his lungs needed oxygen. But all he could do was watch her taking the next steps in her life drifting apart from him, who seemed to be stuck in time.

His legs felt heavy, making his body hurt more with each step he took, but he couldn't allow himself to give up. If he'd give up, he never see her again. Never see this beautiful light again. No, he couldn't give up.

He needed to see his light again just one more time.

masterlist

[cass-y0inks]

“First Man”

Ok before we start this little fic was inspired by the song, “First Man” by Camila Cabello. It reminds me of the time on relationship that Dick would have with Marinette growing up. You can choose who she ends up with I probably won’t focus on that you may leave it in the comments, your choice (Y/C)Also I decided that I’m going to make Kori Marinette’s mother figure. Btw I’m sorry that the other part is taking very long but I will try to finish it and post it sometime this week, hopefully. Anyway Enjoy! (Warning long post)

Yes I’m gonna stay with him tonight, I’ll see you in the morning, no of course, he won’t drink and drive. Can you say bye to mom for me?

“Papa I’ll be fine, it’s just for one night. You know I won’t be able to make it in time, there’s to much traffic.” Marinette really loved her papa, she really did but sometimes he would let his anxiety get to him.

“I know my little Angel, just please be very careful. Oh and Y/C, bring her back in the morning unharmed. Capiche?” Her papa really did love his nicknames for everyone, especially her’s. She was his little angel no matter what, even if he did steal the name from her uncle Damian.

Y/C looked over to her phone and gave him a small smile, “Yes sir, understood. We’ll see you in the morning”

“Keep your eyes on the road Prince Charming. Good night Sunshine, sleep well” her papa sended her a small kiss after he said that.

“Good night papa, sleep well to. And tell mama good night for me too. Love you” she hung up after she returned his small kiss.

Oh, you’ll like him, he’s really kind and funny like you sometimes. And I found someone I really like, maybe for the first time.

Marinette was fixing her papa’s tie for the third time it just never stayed put. She was beyond nervous, her whole family was meeting him today, her mama, her great grandpa, her grandpa, and all her uncles and aunties! It’s not that they embarrassed her, it’s just that she really likes Y/C and her family could get a little... out of hand.

Dick noticed the doubt in her eyes when he looked away from the mirror to look at her. He sighed, he knew what that felt like of course. He gently pulled her into a hug and thought of a way to distract her. “Hey.... wh-why don’t you tell me more about him”

He saw how her eyes lit up almost instantly, “Papa you’ll like him, he’s confident, kind, and funny” she looked down at her feet remembering all the jokes he would make when they would hang out. “Almost as funny as you, who knows? Maybe even funnier papa.”

“Excuse me? Funnier that me! No no no, impossible” that he would never allow.

“Fine not as funny or funnier than you” she sighed out. “Thank you sunshine” he said back with his arms crossed on his chest.

“Just way more stylish.” With that she left him with his mouth wide open.

That nigh went great, he wasn’t intimidated at all by her family, and it didn’t change anything.

No, I don’t need a jacket, it’s not that cold outside. And you worry, I get it but he’s waiting outside

“Mari come on, I don’t want you catching a cold!” Dick was trying to get her in a fuzzy-warm light toned jacket before her movie date with Y/C.

“Papa it’s the middle of July, I won’t need I jacket” sometimes her papa would try different ways to stall her even for just a couple of seconds. “Papa I know you worry but he’s been out there for almost 3 minutes. Look if anything happens I’ll call you, ok? Tell mama I love her to, goodbye.”

Giving her one last hug he said, “goodbye, I love ya to sunlight”

I swear on my heart that he’s a good man. I know you’ll stay up late just waiting for me, you held me so tight now someone else can. But you were the first man that really loved me.

“Papa I promise he’s the sweetest guy I have ever met. He cares, loves and protects me. Like you.” Marinette finally had some free time with her parents. Her mama, papa, and herself were at a a restaurant having a peaceful dinner. The restaurant were she and Y/C had there first date, that brought back memories.

Her mama, Kori, was the one to talk sense into him. “Dick you knew that she would eventually grow up and find someone she liked, just like you and me.” Kori saw how he still had a small pout on his lips looking down at his food.” She smiled. “Remember when you first asked me out on a date. We held hands, laughed together, took pictures. Remember what we felt. We felt special and loved, that’s how they feel. Loved.”

Kori saw how he didn’t really move much, she looked over to her daughter and gave her a small smile and nodded her head pointing at Dick. She got the message and took her papa’s and mama’s hands and held them together. She took a few moments to form her words. “Papa, you’ know how you would hold me and mama on our worst days. How it felt like home, like safety... that’s what I feel with him. You worry about me when I’m with him and sometimes loose sleep but I swear that he means well.” Her papa finally looked up at her with teary eyes.

She stood up from he seat and hugged him. “Papa no matter how much I���m with him or he says he loves me please remember, You were the first man that really loved me.”

Now you’re driving to the airport, not just me you pick up anymore. I’ve got eight days off coming up, and I can only come home for four.

“Papa! Over here!” Marinette rushed over to him, following closely behind was Y/C smiling at him. Dick opened his arms and almost fell back when Mari crashed into him. How ge missed hugging her, memorizes coming back. This wasn’t the first time he picked her up from the airport but, it was the first time she came back with someone else.

“It’s good to see you again sir.” Y/C slowly stood out his hand in front of him. Dick eyed him before carefully taking his hand into his and lightly shaking it.

“You to son.” Marinette stared at her papa in shock, ‘son?’ That was in improvement. Last time she checked he was still skeptical about him. Maybe Alfred or mama finally knocked some sense into him.

Yeah I just met his family. They’re just like you and mom. He makes me really happy, I think he might be the one.

To say the least Marinette was, anxious? She really couldn’t explain what she felt. Today she was finally going to meet his parents. Her long time boyfriend’s parents. She could only remember one time she was this nervous. It was when he was going to met her family.

Different scenarios ran through her head, a variety of ‘what if’s’. It felt like the world was spinning in circles. A familiar ring caught off her thoughts, her phone. She took out her phone from her pocket and read the name on the screen. ‘Papa’. Before answering she took a few deep breath’s trying to calm herself down.

“H-hi pa-papa. H-ho-w ar-are y-you.” Damit. Her papa on the other side of the line clearly noticed the stutter in her voice.

“Mari what happened? Are you ok? Do you need help?” She noticed panic in his tone.

This time she took multiple slow breaths and told him what was bothering her. After what seemed like an hour, she calmed down. Venting always helped her out. She was still nervous but she had at least calmed down a bit. She looked down at her phone to check the time. ‘4:52’ he’d be here any minute. “Papa I have to go, but thank you for calling me. I really needed to talk”

“Anytime sunshine. I love you” he sent her a kiss through the other line.

“Love you to dad”

The dinner night with his parents when great. She had a lot of fun throughout the night. His parents almost reminded her of her parents. They were fun, energetic and loving. She had to thank her papa Ofer helping her calm down.

Now you’re on the driveway faking a smile. You wish you could tell him he doesn’t deserve me. So I had to stop the car and turn around to tell you, you were the first man that really loved me.

She was going back to Paris after a few week’s back In Gotham. Audrey Bourgeois wouldn’t be waiting for her all day. She and Y/C had previously convinced her to let her stay a few more day in Gotham, Audrey’s patience was already running out. Everything was in the car by now, all they had to do was say goodbye.

One by one she said good bye to her family all that was left was her papa. Step by step she made her way up to him until she was right in front of him, he wasted no time in pulling her into a tight hug. Once they broke apart she heard a sniff, her papa was crying. And so was she.

“I love you papa/Marinette” they told each other at the same time. Giving him a sad smile she made her away to the car where Y/C was waiting for her in the passenger seat. Buckling up she started the car and drove away. After a couple of feet she looked at the rear view mirror and saw her papa shedding multiple tears from his eyes waving goodbye at her. Before she could process what she was doing she pulled over and got off the car.

Her papa saw her running towards him, and he planned to meet her at the middle. Once she was close enough she jumped into his arms. He caught her and spinned her around. He carefully put her down after a while but didn’t let her go. She felt a few tears running down her face. She got closer to his ear and quietly whispered, “You were the first man that really loved me” she took a short pause before continuing. “I love you papa, thank you”

And before they open up the door,I say I’ve never seen you cry before. You say “you’ve never looked so beautiful before. You know you’ll always be my little girl.”

Today was the day, she was getting married. She would have never imagined every little detail like this, it was a dream come true for her. She had designed her own dress. It was long with loose sleeves and instead of traditional white it was a very pale pink and a floral like pattern. He papa was in a black suit and a tie that matched her dress. She was nervous of course but having her papa next to her helped her a lot. It was a few more minutes before her uncle’s opened up the doors.

She felt a tear landing on her hand. She looked up and saw her papa wiping his eyes. A smile making its way across her face. She raised her hand and placed it on his cheek. Her papa let out a teary laugh. “Papa I’ve never seen you cry so much before.” It was true. He wouldn’t really cry so much, but this was like it almost looked like a small waterfall leaving his eyes.

He let out another quiet laugh, “It feels like just yesterday you were learning you first steps. Now your walking down the aisle, you look gorgeous Mari.” Wiping away his tears he told her, “ You know you’ll always be my little girl.” Seconds before the doors opens he placed a light feathered kiss on her forehead. Time to go.

You’re looking at me, while walking down the aisle with tears in your eyes. Maybe he deserved me, you don’t even know how much it means to me now

This was it, just a few more steps and she’d be at the altar. Y/C was looking straight at her with the biggest smile he ever had. Her papa still had tears in his eyes, as did the rest of her family. Even the baby of the family had to grow up eventually.

Dick didn’t think this day would come, he imagined it yes but for it to actually be here was unreal. He couldn’t control his tears from flowing down his eyes. They wouldn’t be stoping anytime soon. Maybe he did deserve his daughter. Maybe this was a good day. Looking back down at her he saw she was looking at the altar, specially at Y/C. This day was big for her, he knew that. This was her day. Of this was special for her, it was special for him.

They finally reached the altar.

You were the first man that really loved me, that really loved me.

It was the end of the night, everything went perfect. If she had to be honest, she was tired. Yet that didn’t stop her from going out to the balcony where her papa was. She quietly leaned against the railing like he was. They stood in silence for a moment. Her papa broke the silence first.

“Well you did it, you grew up. When will you stop?” He turned to her and let out a chuckle. She giggled a bit and gave him a light hug.

She pulled away shortly, “Papa even if I still grow, I will always be there with you. You are the reason why I’m who I am, why I’m here today and always.” She stoped and looked down for a second then quickly looked back up at him. “You are the first man that loved me.”

Kori stepped onto the with hot chocolate. “Would you like some Mar-” The sight in front of her caught her off. Dick and her daughter were sleeping on a chaise. Her head tucked under his head.

You really loved me

That’s the end. Sorry if I missed someone in the tag list. I hope you all liked it. Goodbye.

Tag list (closed):@virgil-is-a-cutie @caffeinetheory @theatreandcomicfreak @thepeacetea @abrx2002 @fertileleaf @tog84 @kawaiigiantjudgefish @captainartsypants @witchsblackfox @myazel @echpr @drarryismylife101 @dorkus-minimus @dast218 @tired-butterfly @jeminiikrystal @iglowinggemma28 @lilyellowink @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @aestheticandpoetic @daminett4life @weird-pale-blonde-person @tbehartoo @onelargemcbitch @kanamexzeroyaoifangirl @crytallized @queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm @princess-of-fangirls @winter-gardenflower @jardimazul @littleredrobinhoodlum @oodle-n @isabellemasen @luleck @akalovelymaybe @hauntedfreakdeputyhero @finallyaniguana @smolplantmum @if-you-give-a-chat-a-cookie @mystery-5-5 @thesunanditsangel @vixen-uchiha @minightrose @melicmusicmagic @crazylittlemunchkin @queenmj10 @my-name-is-michell @draco-kasai @blackrosee3 @elmokingkong @sassydepression @dragonflyswing @bigpicklebananatree @thetinymoonflower