#btw try not to read this on mobile

[feliville]

why is it SOOOOO difficult to write SOBS

[genderdryad]

i feel like i shouldn't have to plaster "mspec/male 'lesbians' dni" all over my page but here we are

[nomaishuttle]

the way i balance staying true to my tumblrina nature while also having a job and bills and rent is that at work while cleaning a room ill think of something id like to post and then repeat it over and over in my head and refine it until it sounds right and then i either post it as soon as i get a second to Or i forget it bc i think of anew post to make. and they always get 0 notes but its ok

[sylveqs]

hi tumblr idk what it post is about because nothing special happening in my life rn but i want to share something

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

the hardest part abt writing SNK fic is that every character is more interesting than all the other characters

[kissmeinkomorebi]

okay so sorry if this is an unsmart question ive just . Never participated in anything like this before KJDSHDSKJ ??? uhh so do we submit our sims to the gallery and you pull them for your game if we're selected? should we list any cc used? CAN we use cc?? ty in advance i want to participate but i am very nervous

this is not a bad question at all!! as i don’t have access to the gallery right now, i would prefer receiving the files in the form of a .zip containing the tray files and whatever cc you’ve used on the sim — you can do this by using the simstrayimporter!!

but, if you don’t want to use that, you can upload the sim to the gallery and send me a submission (i’ll allow them, i forgot to turn that on) on tumblr with the links to the necessary cc!! i don’t mind downloading them as needed!

as for when to put them up, or send me the files: when applications close on the 25th, i’ll send out the requests to the creators of the 14 sims i’ve chosen. as for the gallery method, you’re welcome to post them immediately if you like — but i’ll still be downloading them based on my decision post-25th!

the winning sims will be announced by screenshot reveal, and i’ll make a post announcing that the requests have been sent and that you should expect the beginning of kiss me in komorebi’s long-neglected promotional content soon!!

[sasaranurude]

Okay. I've been playing Tokyo Debunker today, since the release happened to catch me on a day when all I'd planned to do was write fanfiction. I just finished reading the game story prologue (it was longer than expected!), so here's a review type post. If you're reading this post not having seen a single thing about this game: it's a story-based joseimuke gacha mobile game that just released globally today. It's about a girl who suddenly finds herself attending a magic school and mingling with elite, superhuman students known as ghouls. If you look in the tumblr tag for the game you'll see what appears to be a completely different game from 2019 or so: they retooled it completely midway through development, changing just about everything about it due to "escalating competition within the gaming industry."

I'll talk about how this looks like a blatant twst clone at the end.

Starting with the positive: The story is charming. I enjoyed it thoroughly the entire time and am excited to read more. The mix between visual novel segments and motion comics was really nice--it broke things up and added a lot of oomph to the action or atmospheric scenes that visual novels generally lack. I like the art in the comic parts a lot. the live2d in the visual novel parts is... passable. Tone-wise, I think the story was a little bit all over the place and would like to see more of the horror that it opened on, but I didn't mind the comedic direction it went in either. The translation is completely seamless. The characters so far all have unique voices and are just super fun and cute. Of the ones who've had larger roles in the story so far, there's not a single one I dislike. It's all fully voiced in Japanese and the acting is solid. (I don't recognize any voices, and can't seem to find any seiyuu credits, so it seems they're not big names, but they deliver nonetheless.) Kaito in particular I found I was laughing at his lines a ton, both the voicing and the writing.

He's looking for a girlfriend btw. Spreading the word.

The problem is like. The gameplay is the worst dark-pattern microtransaction-riddled bullshit I've ever seen. Hundred passive timers going at all times. Fifty different item-currencies. Trying to get you to spend absurd amounts of real world money at every turn. There's like five different indicators that take you to various real-money shop items that I don't know how to dismiss the indicator, I guess you just have to spend money, wtaf. Bajillion different interlocking systems mean you have zero sense of relative value of all the different item-currencies. I did over the course of the day get enough diamonds for one ten-pull, which I haven't used yet. Buying enough diamonds for a ten-pull costs a bit under $60 (presumably USD, but there's a chance the interface is automatically making that CAD for me--not gonna spend the money to check lmfao), with an SSR rate of 1%. BULLSHIIIIIT.

There's like a goddamn thousand-word essay explaining the dozen different types of character upgrades and equippables and equippables for the equippables!! Bad! Bad game design! That's just overcomplicating bullshit to trick people into thinking they're doing something other than clicking button to make number go up! That is not gameplay!

In terms of the actual gameplay, there is none. The battle system is full auto. There might be teambuilding, but from what I've seen so far, most of that consists of hoping you pull good cards from gacha and then clicking button to make number go up. There's occasional rhythm segments but there's no original music, it's just remixes of public domain classical music lmao. I'd describe the rhythm gameplay as "at least more engaging than twisted wonderland's," which is not a high bar

At least there's a cat in the rhythm bit.

And like, ok, I gotta remark on how derivative it is. Like I mentioned in my post earlier, this game is unabashedly aping twisted wonderland's setting and aesthetic. (That said, most of the stuff it steals from twst is magic school stuff that twst also basically stole from Harry Potter, so...?) However, it isn't exactly like twst: in this one, the characters say fuck a lot and bleed all over the place and do violence. Basically, the tone is a fair bit more adult than twst's kid-friendly vibe. (Not, like, adult adult, and I probably wouldn't even call it dark--it's still rated Teen lol. Just more adult than twst.)

Rather than just being students at magic school, the ghouls also go out into the mundane world to go on missions where they fight and investigate monsters and cryptids. Honestly, the magic school setting feels pretty tacked-on. The things that are enjoyable about this would've been just as enjoyable in about any other setting--you can tell this whole aspect was a late trend-chasing addition, lmao. So, yeah, it's blatantly copying twst to try to steal some players, but... Eh, I found myself not caring that much. Someone more (or less) into twst than me may find it grating.

Character-wise, eh, sure, yeah, they're a bit derivative in that aspect too, but it's a joseimuke game, the characters are always derivative. Thus far the writing & execution has been solid enough that I didn't care if they were tropey. If I were to compare it to something else, I'd say the relationship between the protagonist and the ghouls feels more like that of the sage and wizards in mahoyaku than anything from twst. There's some mystery in exactly what "ghouls" are and their place in this world that has me intrigued and wanting to know more about this setting and how each of the characters feels about it. I have a bad habit of getting my hopes up for stories that put big ideas on the table and then being disappointed when they don't follow through in a way that lives up to my expectations, though.

So, my final verdict: I kind of just hope someone uploads all the story segments right onto youtube so nobody has to deal with the dogshit predatory game to get the genuinely decent story lol. Give it a play just for the story if you have faith in your ability to resist dark patterns. Avoid at all costs if you know you're vulnerable to gacha, microtransactions, or timesinks.

[thefaefiction]

Distraction. [Connor x Reader] [DBH]

PAIRING: Connor x Reader GENRE: Smut WARNINGS: This is an 18+ piece of writing with mature and sexual themes. Read at your own discretion. Includes: Penetrative sex, praise, work relationship, power dynamics SUMMARY: After meeting the respectable Connor you've known at the station for months after hours, his advances on you shock you enough to want to find out more.

A/N: connor is a deviant who still works for the dpd! ** finally finished this btw it's no longer a wip <33

You and Connor had just gotten back from an unusual case involving an Android robbery at an auction house in downtown Detroit. You had successfully prevented the android from executing the order's of one man's dirty work; and to top it all off, you looked great doing it. You'd been dressed in a loose black dress that glimmered under the dim light of the auctioning room, a pair of sheer tights that hugged your legs beneath the short and strappy heels which pained your feet more than any other shoe you'd ever worn, and a sheer shawl that sat over your shoulders, providing absolutely zero warmth in the cold weather that bit outside.

As you closed the door to the rental car, you let out a sigh of relief and a light laugh. "I didn't expect to have to solve crime in heels today," You jest, quickly removing the heels that had, quite frankly, become more of a problem than the enemy at large.

Connor grins. "You and I made quite the team back there, lieutenant," He pauses and adjusts his tie. "Even if your shoes put a damper on our probability of success."

You laugh. "It's so frustrating that they gave you a suit, something you can be fully mobile in, and I get..." You sigh, your hands gesturing frustratingly to your outfit, "This."

"Well," Connor begins, "I must say it succeeded in distracting the thief. He looked rather... preoccupied when it came to your questioning." He turns, looking at your outfit. "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit difficult to stay on task myself."

His words came as a shock to you, heat rising to your cheeks and your head feeling slightly dizzy. All night, while your mind should have been running with how to handle your case, you'd been preoccupied with how damn dazzling Connor looked in a black suit. Everything about him made you crazy, and it was frustrating, especially when his assertive questioning voice is causing some unwanted feelings in some inconvenient areas of your body.

"Lieutenant?" His voice interrupts your thoughts, shaking your head and stopping your staring. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," You laugh. "Just thinking. Sorry."

Connor nods, furrowing his eyebrows. "About what?"

You could feel your face begin paling at the thought of telling him, truthfully, what was on your mind. You didn't dare. "Just the case," You said, far too quickly. "Just, like, the numbers. And stuff." That made no sense. You were completely blowing it, and not in the way you'd like. "Ready to get going?"

"Lieutenant, I can't help but notice your body temperature becoming abnormally high." His voice was silky, coated in an emotion that you hadn't yet seen him express. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Your head begins pounding, butterflies clouding your chest and your skin tingling. "No," You spit out. "No, I'm alright. Thank you though." You cough, looking away from him.

"Lieutenant... I'm afraid you've forgotten that I can read you like an open book," He turns his body towards you in his seat, leaning slightly over the center console. You feel him staring. "Are you certain that there's not a way I'm able to assist you?"

You turn and face him, his face much closer than you anticipated it being. His LED lit yellow, trying to decipher your next move, but it had completely taken him aback when your mouth collided with his hungrily. He pulled away and whispered, staring longingly at your lips, “Perhaps we should take this to the back?”

Without a word you crawled to the back seats, Connor sitting with his legs spread and his tie loose around his neck. He gripped your hips, pulling you on top of him, and you started tearing away at your dress. You lifted it over your head and threw it into the passenger seat, Connor smirking as he rapidly removed his blazer from his body.

You pried your tights off of your legs, ripping them in the process but not paying enough attention to care, and Connor unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it along with his tie to the front. He was gorgeous, of course. Why wouldn't he be? He was sculpted by people to be the perfect man in every way, it makes perfect sense that he would be sculpted and defined in a way that made Zeus envy him.

"You're so gorgeous," Connor mumbled, eyeing your bra and scanning your body. "That poor thief. If I saw a woman like you I'd have trouble with my words too." He put his hands on your hips, molding the fat to his hands. "This is the most human desire I've ever felt."

"Fuck, Connor," You groaned. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting this." Your hips had instinctively began grinding down on him, like they had a mind and a plan of their own. It shocked you when Connor let out a gasp, rolling his head back. You grinned.

Connor shifted to his belt, rapidly sliding it out of his pants and unbuttoning them. You could feel him twitch beneath you, desire growing stronger and stronger with every little movement each of you made. With eagerness and ferocity, he brought his hands to your back and unclasped your bra, tearing it off of your body and tossing it to the side. The cool air hit your breasts and you shivered, determined to get more intimate and feel his body heat against you.

And then, without breaking eye contact, he pulled out his cock and prepared with a few long strokes.

He was big. Much bigger than you've ever taken before.

Of course he was.

You pulled yourself forward and pushed your underwear aside. Connor grabbed your hips and slowly eased you down on to him; he groaned loudly, letting his head roll back and hit the seat. "Fuck," He cursed. "Taking me so well," He praised.

Shivers ran down your spine with his words, whimpering as you let him bottom out and take his length fully. The pressure of his cock inside you was unlike anything you'd ever felt before -- and god did it feel amazing. "Connor," You moaned, falling forward into him and resting your forehead against his. "Oh my god Connor," Your breath mixed with his and your body tingled. In your peripheral, you could see the windows of the car begin to fog up.

Connor's hands gripped your hips, hard, and began helping you move back and forth on him. Your hips rolled on his lap, pleasure heavy in the air, harsh breaths being released with every roll.

"Feel so good, Y/n," Connor commented, his hips beginning to buck up every time you moved forward. He moved forward and kissed your neck, sucking and biting and definitely leaving a bruise. He kissed all the way down until he reached your breasts, you felt him smile on your skin.

"Please Connor," You begged. The entire scene was the hottest image you'd ever seen -- something that made porn feel miniscule. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pushing his head forward while you continued to push and pull with your hips -- He began licking and sucking on your nipples, bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm. "Gonna come Con," You mumbled, "Need to come,"

He pulled away and stared into your eyes with intent. "Go ahead, doll," He moaned. "Doing so well for me, gonna come right inside of you,"

That was one of the benefits of fucking an android. No real sperm.

"Shit!" You yelled, lolling your head back and speeding up your pace. "Holy fuck!" And there it was -- Connor bucked his hips up and you came together, much harder than you'd ever come before.

You stayed on him, rolling your hips out of your orgasm, and Connor looked at your face, the sweat beads falling from your forehead and your trembling legs. He brought his hand to your face, wiping it clean and pushing the fallen hair from your face. "You did so well Y/n," He praised. You smiled.

"Jesus Connor," You said, breathless, laughing at the scene. "You're about to be the death of me."

Connor hummed. "I won't let that happen, Lieutenant." He brought your lips together, kissing you with passion, "And I don't fail my missions."

ⓒ THEFAEFICTION, 2023. DO NOT TRANSLATE, REPUBLISH, OR CROSS-POST WITHOUT EXPLICIT CONSENT.

[zan0tix]

Almost forgot i made a silly little mspaint mini-comic of a scene from one of my fav dirkjake fics for funsies a bit ago!

It was written by @mauxir and they were super nice!!! You should def go check them, the fic and their other fics out! Heres some of my favourite panels i did without spoiling too much

BTW DONT TRY AND READ IT ON MOBILE IF YOU DONT HAVE THE GOOGLE DOCS APP And if some of the panels are really small on desktop try zooming in with ctrl and your mouse (i love pageless it works all the time)

[bamsara]

your responses to asks always cut off for me on mobile for some reason, i think it might be because of the amount of checkmarks u have? i think it might just be pushing the formatting down in a way that messes w things. not trying to be annoying!! you’re the only person this happens to for me and i wanna be able to see what u say 🥺

IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU ARE A TOP DOG. ONLY TOP DOGS CAN READ THIS BTW

mewomeowmoewmoewmoewmoewmoewmeowmoewomewo

[iheartz4starzz]

NEVER THERE 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

husband!chuuya x f.reader

SYNOPSIS: you only get to see your husband, chuuya, once a day, which is late at night when you're about to go to sleep. the next morning, you always wake up to him gone.

TW: slight angst, but dw, it'll be fluff at the end, might be a few grammar mistakes

NOTES: fun fact: a lot of these oneshots are based on my c.ai chats <3

Btw I never specified if the reader was taller or shorter than Chuuya, so you can just imagine it urself. ^^

You heard the door unlock, revealing a redhead mafioso, who peaked his head into the room. He let out a sigh and stepped through the door, running a hand through his hair as he set his hat onto his nightstand.

"Doll, did you wait f'me again?" Chuuya asked and crossed his arms.

There you were, sitting on your guys shared bed with your phone in hand. You were playing mobile games while waiting for your beloved to return home after a long days worth of work.

"Yeah. It doesn't feel the same when you're not here next to me when I sleep." You replied, averting your gaze with a slight pout.

Chuuya let out another sigh, but couldn't help but chuckle and smile warmly at how cute his wife was. He quickly showered and changed into his bedtime clothes before getting into the sheets next to you.

Resting your cheek on your husbands toned chest, you let out a breath of contentment before closing your eyes. The sound of his steady heartbeat and the warmth of his arms was soothing for you, which was perfect to help you sleep.

"How was work today?" You asked with a yawn, trying to keep yourself awake.

"Fine. I had to fix a smuggling deal that one of my stupid subordinates messed up." Chuuya sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

You laughed, then snuggling closer to the redhead. You let out another yawn, to which Chuuya noticed and ran his fingers through you (h/c) hair. "You're tired, doll. Go to sleep now."

You shook your head in protest, blinking your eyes. "Nuh-uh! I want to spend more time with you, so I need to stay awake."

Chuuya shook his head and pressed a gentle kiss against your forehead. "Sleep now."

"But I-"

"No buts."

You sighed, closing your eyes to let your sleepiness consume you. Before you could final succumb to your slumber, you looked up at Chuuya with tired eyes.

"Will you be here next to me when I wake up?"

Chuuya could only bite the inside of his cheek and shake his head. "No doll, I'm sorry. I have work tomorrow."

You nodded and closed your eyes. "I love you, Chuuya."

"I love you to, (Name)."

The next morning, you woke up per usual to Chuuya not next to you. You let out a sigh of disappointment and stretched, then moving your feet to over the edge of the bed. You unplugged your phone from your charger and noticed a note and a red rose sitting on your nighstand.

You took the letter and read it, smiling in the end. The letter said:

'Dear (Name),

I'm sorry I can't be there to greet you in the morning. I promise I'll make it up to you next time with a bunch of presents, love, and kisses.

I love you.

Your husband, Chuuya.'

Though the letter was sweet, you couldn't help but frown in disappointment. That's what he would always say when you brought up the fact that he was never there for you. Pushing the thoughts down, you got up from bed and headed to your office to start working.

Usually you stayed home, due to the fact you were a stay-at-home wife, and partially of the fact you also worked from home. It was only those one times you went outside if you wanted to go shopping.

One work was finished, you went to the kitchen to make dinner and clean up around the penthouse. Once again, you ate dinner alone and left leftovers for Chuuya to eat once he got home. You then got ready for bed and got under the covers, bringing out your phone and began to wait till Chuuya came home.

Another hour passed, and Chuuya was still not home. You let out a sigh and laid sprawled out on the bed, starfish style. Bringing your arm up into the air, you stared at the hand with a ring wrapped around your ring finger. You chewed the inside of your cheek and rested that hand on your chest. You yearned for Chuuya's love, and missed him dearly.

Just then, the door to the bedroom unlocked, revealing the redhead who walked inside with a tired expression.

"Hey, Doll. I'm back." He greeted you with a smile.

"Welcome home." You replied and sat up.

After Chuuya was done with getting ready for bed, he got under the covers with you. Chuuya let out a sigh and wrapped his arms around you, pressing a kiss against your forehead.

"I missed you." Chuuya told you.

You stayed quiet for a moment before responding. "I missed you to. But, you're not going to be here next to me when I wake up..."

Chuuya frowned. He felt a twinge of guilt in his heart and began to rub your back apologetically. "I know, I know. I'm sorry, (Name). You know how my boss is."

Suddenly, Chuuya heard sniffling. He watched you sit up from his arms and bury your face into your hands, beginning to cry. Chuuya felt his heart shatter to see you sobbing because of him. Chuuya sat up quickly and rubbed your back.

"(Name)?" He mumbled quietly, his soft voice laced with concern and worry. "Hey, what's wrong, baby?"

"I-I'm sorry. It's just that— I miss you so much, Chuuya. I only see you one time a day because you always come late from work." You sobbed and wiped your tears. "But every time I stare at my ring, I have to keep reminding myself that I have a husband! But it feels like I don't, because you're never here!"

Chuuya didn't know how to reply, and only felt his guilt increase from hearing your pain and yearn for his love. Chuuya cupped your cheek, turning you face towards him. "(Name), I—"

"Am I pushing you away? Am I to clingy? Is that why you're spending so much time at work instead of at home with me? Your wife?" You interrupted Chuuya, sniffling again. "Is your job really more important than your wife? Do you still love me?"

Chuuya's eyes widened when he heard that last question. He quickly brought you into a tight hug, burying his face into the crook of your neck. "No, I still love you! And you're not pushing me away, (Name)—"

Chuuya took a deep breath before continuing. "You're not pushing me away, love. I would never allow that to happen, because you're the most important woman in my life. I love you far to much to ever let you go. It's just... it's my job."

"But wouldn't Mori understand that you have a wife at home? You're not just some mindless pawn for his use! You're your own person, Chuuya!" You argued, tears streaming down your cheeks. "N-No, I'm sorry. I understand that you're doing this for the both of us. I understand that you're working really hard to have a roof over our heads..."

"(N-Name), don't just brush if off like that," Chuuya stammered, cupping both of your cheeks. He let out a sigh before pressing a kiss against your lips. "I'll see what I can do, alright? Just... please don't cry. I can't bare to see you like this."

You nodded and laid back down in bed with Chuuya, wrapped in his arms. You sniffled again and wiped the left tears on your cheeks, your eyes puffy and red. "I'm sorry, Chuuya. I just don't want you to overwork yourself."

"I know, Doll. I understand where your pain is coming from, I really want to do something about it." Chuuya replied and brought your closer to him, pressing a kiss against your forehead. "I love you, (Name). Don't think to much about it, okay?"

You nodded once more. "I love you to, Chuuya."

The next morning, you stirred from your sleep, blinking your eyes awake and looked to your side. Frowning to see that Chuuya wasn't there, you got up and ran a hand over your face.

'Don't be such a bad wife, (Name). Chuuya is doing this for both you and him. At least appreciate what he's doing.' You told yourself and got up from bed, making your way to the kitchen to make breakfast.

As soon as you left the bedroom, the smell of eggs and bacon wafted through the air, tingling your taste buds. You breathed in the smell, licking your lips as you approached the kitchen. You peaked around the corner, your eyes widening to see Chuuya standing at the stove with a apron that said 'Kiss The Cook.'

"Chuuya?"

Chuuya jolted and turned around, quickly turning off the stove and smiled at you warmly. "Morning, Doll."

You teared up, smiling as you ran towards Chuuya, crushing in a hug. "Agh! W-Why are you crying?" Chuuya frantically asked, wiping your tears away with his thumb.

"N-No, it's happy tears, Chuuya! Happy tears!" You repeated, laughing at his misconception.

Chuuya smiled and cupped your cheeks, giving you a morning kiss. "You're such a crybaby." He teased and flicked your forehead.

You whined and held your forehead, pouting as you looked up at Chuuya. The two of you laughed it off in the end. Chuuya wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck. The two of you connected lips, the kiss strong, passionate, yet gentle at the same time.

After a few moments, the couple broke the kiss and smiled at each other. You rested your forehead against Chuuya's, eyes closed as the two of your soaked in the moment.

"I love you, Chuuya." You whispered.

"I love you to, (Name)." He replied, pressing a kiss against your forehead.

"Soo... Kiss the Cook, eh?"

"Shut up!"

ENDING NOTE: i didn't want to make readers wife role seem to clingy, or to unappreciative. i hope i didn't make anybody upset with reader, tho.

luv u all! <3

-mai

[zer0carrds]

04 : canine.  a paid single muse carrd template. $5 + pay what you can.

canine is a multi - page single muse ( and base account friendly !!! ) carrd template, that includes a graphic pack optimized for the carrd !! canine includes pages for guidelines, bio, and connections ; the pack includes all graphics seen in the carrd. the graphics are very easy to edit PSD files that include my own PSD coloring. carrd demo is in the source. this is a pay what you can template and operates through ko-fi !!! you can pick up the carrd template here and the graphics pack here. important info under the cut — read before editing.

THE CARRD :

the graphics pack is not at all required for the template, but i highly recommend using the gradient header at the least.

the carrd is base account friendly ; you do not need an account upgrade to use it.

if you want to buy the template directly from my carrd storefront without going through ko-fi, you can do that here.

keep my credit in the navigation or DIE at my sword.

THE GRAPHIX :

the graphics pack is only available through ko-fi.

the pack is also pay what you can btw, and includes one of my PSD colorings.

once you enter an amount you'd like to pay ( or nothing at all ), you will receive a link to a google drive folder. from there, you can download all the assets, or pick and choose. again, i recommend using the header template at the very least.

BE SURE TO DOWNLOAD THESE FONTS : zamruds + aurora. you will not be able to edit the graphics without these, but you can also replace the fonts if you'd like.

RULES :

please keep my credit on the carrd.

if you choose to use any of the graphics from the pack elsewhere ( mobile header, pfp, a diff carrd, etc ) please still mf credit me.

don't steal, try to pass off as your own, or resell any of this content.

please give this a helpful like or reblog if you find this useful.

[alycosworld]

Torturous

John Constantine x Batfam!Reader

A/N: somebody tell me why the only cartoon john constantine gifs i could find were this one AND THE KING SHARK ONE 😭😭 bloody hilarious man. anyways, this is for the anon who asked for john x batfam reader recs and i found tumblr LACKING. here u go ladies and germs. Gender-neutral reader, no physical attributes included, they/them pronouns.

also, john is like ?? old asf ?? so let's just say he's a solid 32 and reader is 27. for context, dick is 28 and Jason is 24, tim case duke and steph are like 17-19, damian is 14. and Bruce is somewhere around 50. btw not proofread.

soz for the long a/n, thank u for reading and enjoy!!

KEEP READING (im on mobile and it's not working so ill add it in later)

How did it come to this?

It had been torturous enough working with your family and John Constantine, but now you were sure he was trying to tease you.

Batman didn't like calling him for cases involving magic, he'd much prefer Zatanna, but she was away for whatever reason and there was no time to waste waiting for her to get back from god-knows-where.

But you guarantee you were more annoyed by John's presence. Merely seeing him pissed you off, and his laidback, flirty nature made it all the worse.

And no, it wasn't because you hated him. In fact, it was the complete opposite.

Sneaking around behind your family's back to see your Romeo was a chore, and not something you had the liberty of doing often with your myriad of vigilante duties and commitments to adult life. Visiting John and spending time with him was rare and something you treasured. Whether it be in some nostalgia-ridden English pub, staying at his house that still didn't quite make sense to you, or going on regular dates that you planned like restaurants and carnivals, you and John had the time of your lives. And after all the adventures you had been on, he finally admitted that he loved you, just as you had admitted it before.

But loving John Constantine was no simple feat. It came with challenges like murderous monsters, various being from Hell, and most recently, your family.

You knew Bruce would be less than approving. He knew how much of a troublemaker John was, and his self-proclaimed bastard status did not help. Bruce knew he was trouble, and frankly, so did you, but he was too sweet and loving in the end for you to care. He was more than some troubled magician with alcoholism issues, severe gambling debt and the ability to fuck a shark. He was also probably the sweetest guy you had met and he cherished you, showering you in unconditional love, as uncharacteristic as it seemed.

Which is why this particular case was so difficult. While John took every opportunity to flirt with you, you had to refuse every advance and bury the urge to grab him by the collar his stupidly overused coat and kiss him silly. But no, one of your siblings or Bruce was around at every given moment. Alfred had already known you and John were a thing and promised to keep things quiet.

"Are you listening, love?" John asked, specifically looking at you. You felt singled out between Damian and Stephanie, as they, Bruce, and a few of your other siblings stared at you in confusion. You had been listening, briefly, but couldn't for the life of you remember what John had said. It's not like it mattered, this was just John wrapping things up. The case was virtually over.

"Don't call me that," you hardened your gaze instead of smiling and swooning as you normally would when he looked at you with the same intensity as he was now. The subtle changes in your mannerisms towards each other had miraculously not been noticed by the others.

"That's not an answer, love," oh he just loved pissing you off, didn't he? When all this was over you were sure you would make sure he paid for his actions.

"Yeah, I was listening," you folded your arms as he narrowed his eyes at you.

"Y'know what? I don't think you were. You've been giving me attitude this entire case, and frankly, I'm done with it," John shot back with a smirk.

"Excuse me?" I asked, wondering where the hell he was going with this.

"Excuse us, is more like it. You can finish things up here, Bats, I'm sure. I'd like to have a word with them, if you don't mind," John began to walk towards you.

"I don't see how this is important to--"

"Great! We'll only be a moment, just carry on with the debrief," John placed a hand on your lower back, escorting you out of the batcave and upstairs to your room. You saw Dick and Cass along the way, starting at you two oddly but John just smiled and ushered you into the room.

"John, what the hell do you think you're do--!" he cut you off by pinning you to the wall and pressing his lip to yours, pulling away with a boyish grin.

"Oh, I have missed you, love," he smiled, about to dive back in but you pushed him back.

"John, you can't just pull me out of a debrief to make out--"

"We're gonna be doing a lot more than make out, sweetheart," he said, grabbing your hips with both hands. You rolled your eyes slightly before placing one hand on his waist and the other on the side of his neck, quickly flipping him around so he's against the wall. You grin a little at his flustered state.

"We're gonna get caught, hon, please don't do this. I love you but it hasn't even been that long--"

"Seconds without you are too long, sweetheart," he replied, and you chuckled.

"That's very sweet, J, but if you keep this up I'm not gonna be able to control myself. Bruce will kill me, and then wait until the others find out--"

"Too late," Damian stood in the doorway of your bedroom and you nearly jumped out of you skin.

"What sorcery is this, Constantine? What have you done to them?" Damian produced a dagger out of seemingly nowhere and you sighed.

"Dames--"

"What? I'm sorry, (Y/N), but I can't trust your words--"

"Damian, he didn't do anything. No magic, no tricks, nothing. We've been seeing each other for a while," Damian continues to stare at you, not believing you. You sighed, walking up to him and ruffling his hair, "I promise, Dames. John hasn't enchanted me or anything, I just-- I'm in love with him," you finished, staring back at John. Damian looked between you and him before sighing.

"You're really in love with him? Him, of all people? You know how badly Raven speaks of him," Damian folded his arms.

"Raven? She talks about me behind my back? Bloody hell, I'll be having words with her--"

"John,"

"Right! Yes, uhm, Damian, I swear I haven't cursed them to fall in love with me. Really, it's a miracle they love me at all--"

"Don't say that," you smiled.

"What? Its true! And if you're worried about me hurting them or something, you shouldn't be. I'd rather kiss Nergal than even try hurting them," John rolled his eyes.

"And you know I'd kick his ass if he tried anything, Dames," you smirked.

"Well, I just might enjoy that, love--"

"Fucking hell, John, he's fourteen!" you covered Damian's ears as John laughed loudly. Damian eventually swatted your hands away and glared at John again.

"I really do love him, Dames. And nothing you say is gonna change that. We've been dating for almost a year and I still love him, so clearly that counts for something," you assured him.

John bent down slightly to be eye-to-eye with Damian, "I would never do anything to harm them, squire. And I can't get rid of 'em, even if I wanted to," John chuckled.

"You know you love me," you grinned.

"Yeah, I do," John replied, sincerely, making you tense up.

"Fine, I approve," Damian said decisively.

"No one needed your approval, Dames, but thank you," you chuckled, pressing a kiss to John's cheek, "now, just please don't tell Bruce about this--"

"I already know," Bruce, now in casual clothes instead of his suit, rounded the corner and stood next to Damian as you blinked in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me? No, don't tell me--" you peeked out of your room with John to see pretty much the rest of the family was listening. You sighed dragging a hand down your face as John chuckled nervously.

"Bollocks,"

[bangtanficsforyou]

Girl Of His Dreams (03)

Pairing: Fuckboi! Jungkook x Reader

Au: Strangers to Lovers au

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut (eventually)

Rating: 18+

Word count: 9.5K

Summary: You think Jungkook is the utter definition of beauty. Jungkook thinks you’re cute but just not his type. Throw a magic ring into the equation, that makes you look like the girl of his dreams and you have the perfect recipe for heartbreak and tears.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The pinging sound of your phone distracts you from your assignment. You put your pen down and look at your mobile screen to notice an incoming text message from Jungkook.

Jungkook: hey

You: hello

Jungkook: free for a chat?

Technically, you aren't.

You have assignments to complete and modules that need to be studied. It only makes sense for you to tell him that you're busy but then there's a part of you that's curious as to what Jungkook might have to say. Plus, you doubt you'd be able to focus on your assignment now, even if you try to. Your mind will keep going back to Jungkook and you will keep wondering if what he had to say was something important.

It's better you quench your curiosity and then get back to work as that will be more productive.

You: yeah sure 

You: what's up?

Jungkook: nothing much

Jungkook: just wanted to talk to you :)

Jungkook: but firstly, i gotta ask, did you enjoy meeting Jimin and Taehyung today? 

You: ofc I did!

You didn't. 

It wasn't nice to be the unattractive one in a room full of attractive people. It wasn't nice to get judgemental looks from Jimin. It wasn't nice to watch Taehyung walk gracefully and realise how incompatible you're. But needless to say, you can't say all that to Jungkook.

Jungkook: well i'm glad 

Jungkook: i look forward to our next practice session

You: me too! 

A lie.

You chew on your lower lip as a thought occurs to you.

You: btw when is it?

Jungkook: I'm not sure 

Jungkook: but most likely next week

Relief courses through your veins, at that. You'd at least get the time to prepare yourself. 

You: works fine 

Jungkook: we could meet sometime before that if you'd like? 

You: for the competition?

You: like to discuss something about it?

Jungkook: nah

Jungkook: just to meet and get to know each other better ;)

Your stomach sinks at what he could possibly mean. But you try your best to not come to any conclusions, although the little wink at the end of his text makes it incredibly difficult for you to do so.

You: is this for anything in particular?

You: i'm asking because i'll have to check my schedule and make time accordingly

Jungkook: nothing in particular really

Jungkook: well we could maybe just go to a restaurant

Jungkook: eat and chat ;)

Uh oh. This definitely sounds like a date.

But you still refuse to come to a conclusion and decide to ask him directly.

You: tell me if I'm wrong but this is sounding like a date 🤔

Jungkook: well then maybe it is 😏

When you read the text that confirms your suspicions, you sigh.

You're aware that Jungkook thinks you're his dream partner. With that awareness comes the understanding that sooner or later he'd have asked you out on a date. Although to be fair, you didn't think it would be this soon. You thought you had more time before you had to face the consequences of your actions.

But then it's Jungkook. He does have this aura about him which gives off the impression that he just goes after what he wants, irrespective of the pace the rest of the world is accustomed to.

However, you don't feel excited at the thought of going on a date with him. If anything, it is making you feel guilty. 

One month. Just one month. It's not permanent. The moment you remove the ring, Jungkook will stop seeing you as his ideal partner. Everything will go back to normal.

You repeat the words in your head like a mantra until you feel some of the guilt subside.

You: well then

You: it's a date

Jungkook: great!

Jungkook: are you free tomorrow? After the classes get over?

You: yeah, I am

Jungkook: great I'll come to pick you up 

Jungkook: wear something nice for me 😉

Jungkook: oh also, what kind of food do you prefer?

Jungkook: Italian? Mexican? Chinese?

You: anything works for me 

Jungkook: well that answer won't do :(

You: umm well then Italian sounds great!

Jungkook: done 👍

Wow.

You stare at your screen blankly as the whole conversation sinks in. 

Looks like you are going on a date with Jungkook. That too tomorrow.

"I don't understand who made him a professor," Brie grumbles, looking done with everything.

"Trust me everyone in the class has the same question," you murmur, feeling a mix of amusement, frustration and annoyance. 

The professor in question is Mr. Reymond, who writes whatever he has to, on board, while talking and explaining it to himself. Once done, he will ask the class if they have understood or not, but hey, he doesn't really care. Hence, he answers his own question and rubs the board before moving on to the next topic. 

"Man, his classes always make me feel sleepy," she yawns. "It's such a pain in the ass to pretend that you're listening to his shit."

"Eh, it's not like he cares," you shrug, noticing the number of people who are busy chatting away, some even occupied with their phones. 

Brie notices the same thing and wonders if she could get away with sleeping through the class. "Do you think he would care if we sleep?"

"Try it out, I guess."

"I should give it a try, it would be like a cool experiment," she nods, applauding herself for coming up with something this great. "Now, c'mon close your notebook and put your head down on the table."

You glance at her sideways. "I never said I'm gonna accompany you in your little sleep experiment."

"It's not like copying those notes blankly would do you any benefit." She rolls her eyes and takes the initiative to take your notebook away from you and closes it shut. "Now sleep."

You huff and contemplate. You won't lie, you are really sleepy. You woke up earlier than usual because you had to choose what to wear for today's date. It wasn't an easy decision to make as you had to settle on something that won't look too formal or fancy to attend classes in but at the same time won't look too casual to wear on a date. Ultimately, you squared down to a yellow dress. It's simple yet elegant, which makes it the perfect choice.

But the question in hand is should you give in to your sleepiness? You look at Brie who's looking at you with eyes full of expectations and sigh. A nap is worth it. Who knows maybe you'll wake up looking fresh.

Brie grins at you, satisfied and proud when you put your head down before she does the same. 

As it turns out, Mr. Reymond couldn't really care less about his students taking a nap in the middle of the class. Good for both of you, as when the bell rings, you two wake up feeling refreshed and energised. 

"Want to go to the nearby cafe?" Brie asks, as she packs her bag up.

"I can't, I have assignments to complete."

That's technically not a lie, you do have assignments that need to be done. However, it's not due to the assignments that you deny accompanying Brie to the cafe. You're supposed to go on your little date with Jungkook and it's only after the date that you'll be able to return to your college work. But you can't tell that to Brie and hence give her the half-truth.

She sighs and mumbles to herself, "I should have guessed that response."

You two head out of the class and you take your phone out with the intention of shooting Jungkook a text to let him know that your classes are done for the day. 

"Hey, isn't it that guy?" Brie elbows you and asks in a hushed whisper. "What's his name?"

You furrow your brows, interrupted mid texting and look at Brie in a questioning manner. She motions you to look in a particular direction and your eyes follow hers. 

Your mouth parts open in surprise and your steps halt when you realise who it is. "Jungkook."

"Jungkook! Jeon Jungkook! That's what his name is," Brie exclaims, finally feeling satisfied having put the puzzle of his name in place. 

You look back at the screen of your phone and delete the words you had typed. Fuck, when Jungkook had said he would be coming to pick you up, you didn't think he meant right in front of your classroom. 

"Isn't he a fashion designing student, though? What is he doing here in our building?" Brie asks out loud to no one in particular. 

"You know him?" Your ask, your interest suddenly piqued. 

"Well duh," she states with an expression as if that should be obvious. "Who doesn't know him? He's famous for being a fuckboy. Wonder what the girls see in him, though."

Well, that makes sense. After all, Jungkook has got quite a reputation for that. "I mean, he's attractive. I think that does it for him," you shrug. 

She scoffs in amusement and looks at you in disbelief. "Y/N, please. He's not attractive."

Now, it's you who's looking at her in disbelief. "Are you blind? He's literally one of the most handsome guys I have ever come across."

"Eh, I don't find anything attractive about being a jerk," Brie replies without missing a beat as she looks over to where Jungkook is with eyes full of judgement. 

Say whatever anyone wants, there's no changing Brie's mind about the opinion she holds of him. She had seen many girls cry over him and had formed a sense of dislike towards the guy from the very beginning. But it wasn't something personal until Jungkook broke Sana's heart. 

Sana, who's a very dear friend of Brie's, is also one of the sweetest and kindest people she has ever met. The audacity Jungkook had playing with Sana's heart had Brie fuming.

She had half the mind to go and punch Jungkook right in his face but somehow managed to hold back her anger. But it wasn't only Jungkook who was on the receiving end of her rage, it was Sana as well.

She simply couldn't understand why Sana would ever expect anything more from Jungkook, despite knowing the kind of reputation he has. Brie did not mean to be that person, but she couldn't help but think that people walking up to him and offering their hearts on a silver plate gave Jungkook the perfect excuse to not own up to the hurt he causes people and say 'they signed up for it'. 

However, according to Sana, she had genuinely believed that Jungkook cared for her and liked her enough to not let the relationship be just another casual fling. But of course, she was proved wrong.

Brie had several logical arguments why expecting something more from Jungkook was foolish. But the tears that streamed down Sana's face, had made Brie's heart soften. It made her realise that she did not need to make the points as Sana was most likely telling those things to herself anyway.

Things become messy when despite knowing, that you'll end up getting hurt, you go for it, thinking and believing that it's worth it. When the hurt and pain do catch up, who do you blame? The person who caused it or yourself?

If only Jungkook had a decent bone in his body and knew how to respect people's emotions. 

Nevertheless, since that incident, Brie has been holding this resentment towards the boy for making someone like Sana feel this way. She simply can't keep calm every time she thinks about the amount of hurt he causes people and gets away with. Just like that, without any consequences.

Imagine her surprise when she realises that Jungkook; the very same Jungkook she despises, is walking towards the both of you. 

The moment you have the same realisation, you look away from him and look down at your feet. You chew on your bottom lip and keep your gaze fixed on the ground, trying to avoid any weird looks you might be getting from the people around. 

Jungkook stops in front of you and grins at the way you refuse to look at him. He bends down so that your eyes and his, are at the same level and greets you. "Hey, Y/N."

"Umm hey," you greet back meekly. 

He assumes you're feeling shy and the thought makes him oddly satisfied. 

"Are you ready for our date?" He queries.

Brie chokes on thin air and starts coughing loudly. "What do you mean by date?"

You look up immediately to answer Brie before Jungkook can but your words get stuck in your throat when you notice the look on Brie's face. 

It's that of incredulity. 

Her eyes go back and forth between you and Jungkook and it immediately makes you feel the same way you did under Jimin's gaze. You assume that she is most likely thinking the same thing Jimin did; why is Jungkook going on a date with you?

But the fact that it's coming from Brie, makes you more defensive than you were when it came to Jimin. 

You almost feel betrayed?

"I think the word 'date' is pretty self-explanatory," you snap, without intending to.

Your sudden defensive stance and stiff body language catches Brie off guard. And before she can ask anything else, you leave the spot and start walking towards the main gate. 

Jungkook walks right behind you.

"Who was she?" Jungkook pries once the two of you are out. Although the interaction was short, he could feel how the question asked by the girl caused you visible discomfort. 

You take a deep exhale and feel immediate regret for the way you responded to Brie. You don't know why you reacted the way you did. Anyone would think the way Jimin did. Anyone would wonder why someone like Jungkook would take interest in someone like you. So what if Brie is your friend? That doesn't mean that she doesn't have a pair of eyes and common sense. Why did you even think that she would have a different reaction?

"She's Brie," you sigh softly. "She's my friend."

"I see," Jungkook nods, taking the hint that you do not wish to elaborate any further. "Should I call the car then?"

This has you blinking and stops your overthinking. "Car?"

Jungkook winks at you. "You didn't think I'd take you out in an uber, did you?"

Well to be fair, you didn't expect anything in particular. You were too busy stressing about how you should go about things to think about what Jungkook might have planned for the date. 

You watch silently as Jungkook types something on his phone and moments later a Mercedes pulls over. You're too much of a noob to guess what the model is but you can tell it's expensive (well, to be fair, all Mercedes cars are).

He quickly walks up to the car and opens the backseat door for you. "Come on, hop in," he urges you, looking excited. 

You thank him with a small, unsure smile and get in. Jungkook shuts the door before jogging over to the other side and getting in. 

He sits next to you and asks the chauffeur to start the car, having already told him where to go. 

However, you have no idea. You're in a car which has three people in it and it's only you who has no clue where you're headed. This doesn't sit right with you and causes your curiosity to spike. 

"Where are we going?" You query looking at Jungkook expectantly. 

"You will see when we reach there," he replies with a small curve of his lips. "That dress looks really cute on you, by the way. It suits you." 

You have never believed any of Jungkook's compliments. You know he only says that because he is viewing you through the rose-coloured glasses the ring has put on him. Hence, every time he gives you these little compliments, you just pretend to accept them with a smile. 

But for the first time, it occurs to you, how thoughtless it is of you to not compliment him in return. 

Hence your eyes go on a little mission to find something you could compliment him on, knowing full well that there's plenty you could acknowledge and sing praises of. 

However, your little mission is proven to be fatal when you get distracted by how ethereal Jungkook looks. 

For the first time, you take notice of the white shirt he's wearing. The plain simple piece of clothing makes him look like an angel but the top three buttons which are kept undone make him look like sin. 

With his right hand gripping the roof handle, his elbow rests on the window pane and the position somehow makes the veins in his arms bulge out. You find yourself feeling grateful for the rolled-up sleeves as it lets you have a clear view of his thick muscular arms that are inked with tattoos. 

Your eyes move from his arms to the expanse of chest that's visible and the sight has you gulping. Gosh, why does it make you want to run your hands over his chest? You shake that thought away and think that it's a wise decision for your eyes to move on to somewhere safer; where you won't be having these unholy thoughts. Your eyes trail up towards his neck and eventually to his face. 

His lips. They look so soft and plump and it makes you imagine how they'd feel against yours. The little mole under his lower lip adds to the beauty of his mouth and makes them look even more kissable. You don't even want to get started with the way his lips are curved upwa–

Wait. Why are they curved upwards?

Your eyes snap to his and shit. He's been watching you along. 

Your whole body heats up in embarrassment and you scold yourself for having these thoughts.

Jungkook is attractive but that doesn't mean that you should be going on thinking about how kissable his lips are. It was one thing when you were doing it earlier but it's a whole different thing, now. You don't want to imagine kissing him because you'd never let something like that happen.

Him kissing you under the influence of the ring would be the same thing as someone spiking a person's drink and taking advantage of them. You'd never be able to live with yourself, if you were to do that.

You know what you're doing right now is probably no better but as long as it's harmless flirting and silly dates. 

Only a month. Only a month. Only a month.

"Done checking me out?"

You look away, flustered and ashamed. "I wasn't."

He knows you're lying.

He also knows that you know that he knows, you're lying. Hence, he decides not to argue. Instead, he takes out his phone and connects it to the car's speaker.

Your brows knit together when you hear the melody that's now playing through the speakers.

"That's my favourite song," you inform Jungkook, your state of surprise turning into that of joy. Your mood lifts instantly as the light-hearted song greets your ears.

"I know," he responds, trying his level best to hold back the smile that's threatening to make an appearance.

Now, that has you looking at him weirdly. How on earth does he know that this is one of your favourite songs? 

"How do you know that this is my favourite song?"

"Let's just say I stumbled upon a post yesterday that happened to let me know of this fun fact." The smile that he was trying to hold back, finally breaks across his face and his eyes sparkle with mischief.

Your brows shoot up. Here, you were thinking that maybe it's just pure coincidence and that maybe he likes this song too. But, no. Boy knew exactly what he was doing. 

A fleeting thought appears in your mind as to what pictures he might have seen and whether you even looked presentable in them. But you find it easier to get rid of that thought by telling yourself that he's still here. If he had found those pictures ugly, he would have not gone on a date with you.

"So you were stalking me?" You squint your eyes at him in a scolding manner. "You just keep proving to me that you're a red flag."

Jungkook raises his hands in the air as if surrendering. What other option does he have anyway? He has nothing to say to defend himself. It's not like he wants to even. He isn't ashamed of his doings, at all. If anything, it was fun.

"Don't blame me. It's all your fault anyways," he retorts. "Your profile appeared on my for you page and how could I resist the urge to stare at that gorgeous face of yours?"

A red hue appears on your cheeks. You may not believe in his words but the way he looks at you every time while complimenting you, makes you want to hide from his intense gaze. 

"Well, my profile let you know of my favourite song," you state, trying to deflect the topic. "What else did you happen to learn from my socials?"

"Let's see. You have a family dog, he's an Australian Shepherd. His name is Jack," he mused while running a hand through his hair. "Your favourite subject is biology and maths. You have a thing for Tom Hiddleston. And chocolate-flavoured ice cream is your favourite."

Damn. They are all correct. You didn't even know someone could know so much about you just from your instagram page.

"You know almost everything about me," you almost stutter your words out.

"I hardly think it's much. I bet there's a lot I don't know about you," he comments.

There isn't. Nothing interesting, at least.

Clearing your throat, you once again, change the topic of conversation and make it about him. "Compared to what I know about you, you do seem to know a lot about me."

He hums, acknowledging your point. "Well, what would you like to know about me?"

You shake your head, refusing to make things easy. "Nah, nah, nah. I'm going to stalk your insta and deduce my facts."

He laughs with his head thrown back, putting his neck on display. "Sure, then. Go ahead. Do your research."

You huff as if to say, challenge accepted. Taking your phone out from your bag, you type his name on the search bar and click on his profile when it shows up. 

"Look at that, you haven't followed me yet," Jungkook whispers right next to your ears as he leans towards you to get clearer access to your mobile screen.

You yelp, not expecting him to be that close. Shuddering when his breath hits the skin of your neck, you pray to whatever god there is to give you strength to make it through the car ride.

You try to focus back on the screen and on the silly challenge you have taken. Scrolling through his insta, you realise there isn't really anything that gives away much about Jungkook. His account is full of pictures of his designs and some occasional photos with his friends and of him partying.

What's worse? All posts are captionless. 

Not wanting to accept defeat, you choose to scroll down even further. There must be a time when he put up pictures without giving them much thought. Maybe when he was in high school? Yes, that sounds about right. That's definitely the age when people find even a leaf on the ground worth posting on their social media.

However, your strong sense of determination dims when you reach his last post only to find that it's some quote. 

You huff and lock your phone screen, which makes Jungkook lean back, finally allowing you to breathe freely. 

"This is unfair," you complain with no real bite.

"It's not my fault, I'm just a private person," he defends himself with a wide bunny grin.

"But you know so much about me."

"I assure you, you'll get plenty of time to make things even," he winks, suggesting that this might be both of your first date but definitely not the last.

"You're under my observation," you inform him in a serious tone. "Just wait until I have got you all figured out."

"I will be patiently waiting," his eyes crinkle in the corner as he enjoys the playfulness of the conversation.

Before you can come up with a response, the car comes to a halt and you're reminded that this car ride isn't going to go on forever. You wish, it did though.

Maybe it's the ring that makes you feel confident enough to say what comes to your mind but somehow, you were comfortable like this with Jungkook. But now it feels like the small bubble you were in, has popped. You will have to step out and you are sure people will give you the same looks Jimin and Brie did.

Before you can mentally prepare yourself, a valet opens the door for you. You smile at him and step out.

Your mouth falls open when you realise where you are. It's one of the costliest Italian places in the city. 

"I knew you'd like it."

Jungkook feels content seeing the look of awe and surprise on your face. It tells him that you were not expecting to be here and perhaps that's exactly what he wanted.

"I-I do," you stutter trying to find the right words to describe how you're feeling. "It's just that I wish you had told me that we were coming here. I would have dressed accordingly."

"If you were to ask me, you are dressed just right." Jungkook comments. "And you don't need to worry about dressing right. Irrespective of what you wear, you are always the prettiest in the room."

You give Jungkook a small smile to let him know that you appreciate his words. However, his words don't have much of an effect in easing your nerves. 

How can it ease you when you know that everything Jungkook is saying is because of the ring? You know you aren't the prettiest. Something which is highlighted even more by Jungkook's presence next to you. 

Jungkook takes a hold of your hand— totally oblivious to your insecure thoughts— and with a wide excited grin guides you inside. 

"Good evening sir. Good evening ma'am," the receptionist greets the both of you with a warm welcoming smile. "May I please have the name the reservation was made under?"

"Jeon Jungkook," Jungkook replies. 

The receptionist nods and does a quick check on his computer before looking up. "Sam will guide you to your table. I hope you enjoy your time with us."

A waiter approaches both of you and upon reading his nametag you realise that it's Sam.

"Please follow me," he requests, politely.

You and Jungkook trail behind Sam until he leads you both to a more secluded area and ultimately stops near a two-seater round table. On your way, you keep your eyes fixed on the ground and try to make a curtain out of your hair so that people don't get a look at your face.

"Please take a seat. Your attendant will be with you shortly." Sam bows, before taking his leave.

Now that you feel a bit more comfortable with the area being secluded, you set your hair back in position and take notice of your surroundings. 

You look around in amazement and take in how quaint the place is and how peaceful it feels. Unlike the low murmur outside, there's a low soothing music in the air which greets your ears and makes you relax. The lights are dimmed and to make up for it, hangs a chandelier right above the table and a beautiful vase of bright red roses sits at the centre. Dare you say everything looks very romantic? 

The sound of chair scraping against the floor catches your attention. 

"Per favore prendi posto," Jungkook says with an Italian accent. Tries to. It comes out so adorably terrible that you end up laughing.

He frowns, confused. "Was that funny?"

You try your best to stop your laughter but the confused expression on his face doesn't help. A few moments later, as your laughter dials down to small chuckles, you finally manage to reply to his question. "It was unique. I have never heard that accent before."

Jungkook squints his eyes and extends his hand for you to take. "Why don't you teach me then?"

You put your hand in his and let him guide you to your seat. "I know for a fact that every time I try to do an accent, it comes out terrible. So, I'm not even going to try."

Once you are seated, Jungkook does the same. "Well, I should at least get points for trying. I listened to a few Italian phrases over and over again during our  entrepreneurship class."

"Well you do get points for your efforts," you smile cheekily and shrug.

"Well you're worth the effort," he flirts, not missing the opportunity.

Worth the effort. Something about those words makes your smile drop.

Mayhaps, it's because you have recently been questioning your worthiness and have been wondering exactly how much of the good things and experiences that you have always wished for, do you actually deserve. 

Going on a date with a handsome guy and having your heart flutter at the romantic gestures made by him, had always been something that you wanted to feel and experience.

Here you are. Having exactly that experience but feeling way different than you had imagined. 

Here's Jungkook, saying how you're worth the effort and all it does is remind you of the fact that it's all because of a ring. That you need a ring for someone to think that way. 

Ironically, it makes you feel worthless.

"Good evening, I'll be your attendant for today," a waitress arrives and introduces herself to the both of you with a smile. However—and you might be wrong—but the smile she shoots at you and the one she shoots Jungkook seem different. 

"Uhh right," Jungkook trails off awkwardly, realising that the two of you haven't taken a look at the menu at all. "We have not yet decided what to order."

The waitress smiles, putting her beautiful set of teeth on display. "That's not an issue, sir. Just let me know when you're ready and I'll take your order."

With that she bows and leaves.

"Take this," he hands you a menu book while he opens another copy of the same. "I have never been to this place before but I have heard that the food is good."

Your eyes scan the list of food items on the menu book and the prices next to them. Everything is overpriced but it does not surprise you. As long as the preparations are good, you think.

After much thinking, you choose to order lasagne while Jungkook orders risotto. 

When the waitress is done taking the orders, she asks if there's anything else the two of you would like. You can't help but notice how despite the question involving both of your choices, her question is directed at Jungkook. Her eyes remain fixed on his and she totally ignores your presence. 

It's only when Jungkook asks if you'd like some red wine that she is forced to acknowledge you. 

"Yeah, sure." You could really do with some wine now.

You exhale a sigh when the waitress leaves. To not overthink what her behaviour could possibly mean—although you already have some idea—you try to make a conversation with Jungkook. 

"This place is really nice," you look around, appreciating the little details that make this place such a calm and soothing one. "You have good taste."

"To be honest, I just googled the costliest Italian place near me and this came up."

You quirk a brow, finding his thought process to be somewhat funny. "So you just wanted to show off how rich you are?"

He finds your question amusing. What he finds even more entertaining is how directly you ask him about it. "Well, being rich is supposed to be attractive."

"I mean I guess everyone has their preferences," you nod, not giving his words much thought. 

However, your casual tone has Jungkook suddenly curious about whether you find it attractive or not. 

"What are your preferences? Do you find rich guys attractive?"

"I won't necessarily say so. I mean sure, it's ideal if a person is well off. But it's not like being rich is a character trait or something."

Jungkook finds himself feeling confused by your words as it doesn't make it clear to him. You said you don't really find it attractive but then you also mentioned how it's ideal if it's someone who's well off.  

You notice the look of confusion on his face and elaborate your point a little. "If you were to imagine the perfect case scenario, you'd obviously imagine there to be no lack. Why would you daydream and imagine a person having any sort of struggle, be it financial or of any other form?"

Jungkook kind of gets your point. Perfect case scenario; the person is well off. But it still doesn't satisfy him as not everyone can afford that lifestyle. "Not everyone's rich, though. There's only a small part of society that can be classified as rich and well-off. Does it not make the rich ones more attractive and more desirable?"

You hum, finding the conversation interesting. "Again, like I said it's about individual preference–"

"What do you prefer?" He cuts you off, reminding you how his initial query was about your preferences. He couldn't care less about other people's choices if he were, to be honest.

"For me, I don't think I have considered a person's bank balance before going out with them," you muse, thoughtfully. "So no, I don't think being rich makes someone attractive."

"How come?" He prods finding your response simply absurd. 

"For one, it's their parents'. No one becomes rich at the age we are unless you're in the entertainment industry or you own a startup that took off really well," you hum and pause for a moment or two, trying to figure out how to put your thoughts into words. 

"Second, money is never stable. You can be a billionaire one day, a millionaire the next and broke the day after. It could go vice versa as well, you could become a billionaire from being broke," you add, your words spilling out one after the other. "Wealth will come and go but if my attraction is based on that, then it's bound to be fickle." 

When you had initially said that a guy's wealth is not necessarily attractive to you, Jungkook presumed that you were lying. But as you speak he can sense the amount of thought you're giving into your words and realises that you were speaking the truth. 

"Being wealthy is advantageous though." 

"Never said it wasn't–" you agree, "–and trust me no one knows that better than the people who come from a humble background." 

"What is that supposed to mean?" He tilts his head, trying to understand where you're taking this conversation.

"Some like to assert their superiority by displaying the advantages they enjoy. They believe that others need to be reminded of the luxury the rich can afford. Which is kind of stupid because, people who aren't well off, are aware of it already." 

"Do you think I consider myself to be superior just because I'm rich?" A challenging look enters his gaze as he asks the question that comes to his mind immediately after hearing your words.

"We wouldn't be having this conversation if you didn't," you reply, not faltering under his gaze and perhaps for the first time, it's you who smirks in satisfaction.

Jungkook, who had been leaning forward and had one of his elbows on the table, now reclines such that his back touches the chair. He looks at you for a few moments and then suddenly breaks into a fit of chuckles. Something that causes you to giggle as well. 

Jungkook has never been shy about the wealth his family has acquired over the years. Be it in the way he throws luxurious parties every once in a while or be it in the way he chooses different cars to arrive at college, he always makes a statement about his wealth. It is also one of the many reasons why he has never had to put much effort into getting the girls he has been interested in. 

He does not know how many of them have found his habit of displaying his money attractive and how many have found it the opposite, but one thing's for sure; no one has ever called him out for it right on his face. And he just can't help but find amusement and humour in it. 

He doesn't even know how the conversation came to this, because to be honest, it's a very weird topic of discussion for a first date. But he won't lie, he enjoyed it nevertheless. It was refreshing.

The rest of the evening goes by just fine. Once the wine gets in your system, you loosen up and giggle at the smallest of things. The dishes, although overpriced, are delicious and are a great treat for both of your tastebuds. 

Perhaps, the only thing that makes you uncomfortable is the waitress. Every time she comes to your table, she somehow manages to intentionally ignore you without making it obvious. Her total disregard for you and the unnecessarily wide grins she gives Jungkook, makes you squirm in your seat.

However, you try your best to ignore it. You succeed at it even. But once you two are done with your food, she comes with the bill and what you have been trying to ignore, becomes unavoidable.

You take the bill, intending to split it in two when you notice that she has left a small note at the bottom. 

Call me when you get bored with her ;)

And right below it, is her number.

Your mood deflates dramatically when you read it. Is it that obvious to others, that you aren't exactly what someone would prefer? That sooner or later, someone would get bored of you?

Believing the answer to these questions to be yes, you pretend to not have noticed the little note and pass the bill to Jungkook. 

After one month, when you remove the ring and when Jungkook ultimately stops seeing you as his dream partner, who knows maybe he will end up using her number. Yes, you can totally see that happening. She's also his type. Unlike you.

Jungkook opens the menu book, inside which lies the bill and notices what the waitress has written for him. It makes him chuckle. "She left her number for me."

Your left eye twitches a little. "I know."

He shakes his head at the waitress's silly behaviour, not paying it any mind. 

You won't ever say it out loud but maybe you expected a little more reaction from Jungkook. Anything to defend you and recognize how disrespectful her words were.

But you try pushing those thoughts away. It's only for a month and Jungkook is most likely more than used to girls giving him their numbers. Moreover, it's not like Jungkook would be here sitting in front of you on a date, had it not been for the ring. Who are you to expect things from him when you're doing something so low? Beggars can't be choosers.

"I am gonna pay my share of the bill using card," you inform him, unzipping your purse.

Jungkook frowns at you. "You do realise that I'm the one who's paying right?"

"Nope, we are gonna split the bill in half," you vehemently disagree. 

He is baffled at your weird behaviour. He's the one who asked you out on a date, he's the one who chose this place and hence, shouldn't it be a given that he's the one who's going to pay? 

"There's no way I'm letting you pay," he states, leaving no room for argument.

Splitting the bill in two, is simply what has always seemed right to you. You have always been the kind of person who would offer and prefer to pay for their share. You believe that to be morally right.

But maybe, if it were someone else, you wouldn't be so hellbent on paying. You would have understood that it's only a first date and that they are more than comfortable paying. If it were someone else, you'd most likely accept their generosity and later take them out on a date to make things equal.  

But it's Jungkook. The same Jungkook who thinks lowly of the real you. If you were to let him pay, you doubt you'd be able to sleep peacefully at night. 

You see how determined he is to not let you pay but you refuse to back down. You gnaw on your lower lip as you come up with something that might just be a little childish and silly. 

Before Jungkook can comprehend a thing, you're getting up from your seat and quite literally start running. Jungkook sits there with his eyes wide in surprise as he fails to understand what just happened. It's only after a few moments that he realises that you're headed towards the reception, to pay. 

This makes him get up from his seat at the speed of light and he too starts sprinting like a man on a mission. 

However, and much to his dismay, when he approaches the reception, your card is in the process of being swiped. 

Jungkook heaves, not prepared to be running right after having a meal. "My goodness, you're something."

"For someone who looks this fit, you really shouldn't be running out of breath after sprinting a few steps," you tease playfully, trying to steer away the conversation from the topic of paying the bill.

He immediately tries to take deep slow breaths to give the impression that he isn't having a tough time getting air in his lungs. "I can breathe just fine. I was just caught off guard by you suddenly taking off."

"You left me with no other choice," you shrug as you collect your card back. 

Having finally accepted defeat, Jungkook swipes his card and proceeds with his payment.

When the both of you are done, you two head out after thanking the man at the reception for their services. Once out, you take a deep inhale of the fresh air, feeling glad that you're out of the restaurant and of the fact that you'll most likely never see that waitress again. You think you're finally done with all the uncomfortable situations for today and find yourself looking forward to returning to the dorms.

You're proven wrong when Jungkook asks a question you didn't even know had the potential of making you feel distressed. 

"Let's take a picture." 

He takes his phone out and opens the camera application. The moment he turns the camera towards you, you bring your palms up to cover your face. 

"Ah, no I look so tired. Don't click my pictures."

Jungkook frowns but complies and brings his phone down. At least, for the time being.

"You weren't this shy when we met the first time," he wonders out loud. You feeling uncomfortable modelling in front of Jimin and Taehyung was understandable, after all, you were meeting them for the first time and you don't have much experience with modelling. The fear of embarrassing yourself is natural. However, the more time he spends with you, the more he realises how shy and skittish you are. Not that it's a bad thing, it's just different from the first impression he had of you. 

Your eyes snap to him when you register his words. Your mind reminds you of the things you did before the ring and it immediately makes you cringe.

"Please don't remind me of that," you mumble in a small voice, suddenly finding your heels very interesting.

"Hey," he whispers upon realising that he might have said the wrong thing. He places his index finger below your chin and makes you look at him. "I meant it when I said that you're always the prettiest in the room." 

It's all because of the ring. You know Jungkook would never say this, otherwise. Despite that, the insecure voice in your head quietens downs a little.

"Even though your hair is a little messy," he adds light-heartedly and pats the top of your head to smooth out the frizziness. "You still look unearthly."

His eyes hold a certain warmth and gentleness to them, that you haven't seen from him before. It makes the rest of the world fade away and makes you whisper, "Thank you."

Had it been anyone else, Jungkook would be making his move and would be kissing them right now. But you're not just anyone else. You're, you. 

Jungkook has always had a certain formula for dates. Ask them out, book a table in an expensive hotel, take them to the destination in one of his luxurious cars, flirt around a little to make them feel flustered and once the date is coming to an end, kiss them. It's always been that simple.  

However, the date with you was different. Except for a few particular moments, he didn't feel like he had the upper hand at all. It was like going on a pre-planned journey but then you took over the driver seat and took him along with you on a ride. 

"Do you want to take a picture?" This time, he asks in a gentle tone, instead of just stating it like he did the previous time.

Although you still feel unsure, you nod.

Jungkook, happy that you finally agreed to take a picture, brings his phone up and positions it such that the both of you are in frame. He tilts his head so that it's touching yours and clicks the picture. 

He looks at the photo and grins, satisfied with the result. "Look at the picture, it is cute."

You fail to find anything cute about yourself but hum, nevertheless. 

When you reach your dorms, it's around eight in the evening. Thanks to Jungkook who wanted to go around the city a little and took the long way back.

Nevertheless, you are glad to be back in the comfort of your dorms. Thankfully your roommate isn't here, which saves you from the grilling questions she would be throwing at you, otherwise. 

You complete your assignments, clean up your room and make yourself a packet of ramen before going to bed. 

With your cheek pressed against the pillow and your arms tightly hugging the plush toy you got recently, you recall the events from today's date. 

It was one of a kind, that's for sure.

At first, it didn't feel quite right. But gradually, you just went with the flow. 

The more you spend time with Jungkook, the more you get comfortable saying the things you usually would. Of course, it's not all rainbows and sunshine but it's still enough. If the Y/N from two weeks ago were to learn about the way you talk to him now, she would most likely never believe you.

Most importantly, you don't dread spending time with him as much.

Ignoring the waitress incident, you'd say that the date was enjoyable even. 

One moment, which stands out to you, however, is the little moment you shared with him towards the end of the date. You weren't surprised by the words he said but the seriousness with which he said them almost had you breathless.

A small smile appears involuntary on your lips as you recall the look in his eyes and it almost makes you feel….shy? 

But the moment you realise what you're doing, you shake away the feeling. It's all because of the ring, you remind yourself repeatedly until the little warmth that you were feeling is completely gone.

Pledging to not think about the date and Jungkook anymore, you tightly shut your eyes and wait for sleep to take over you.

When your eyes open, you're in a whole different place.

You don't know where you are but it feels comfortable, familiar and safe. You look around a little in hopes that maybe you will recognise the place but you fail to find any clues.

After some time, you notice a bright light at the end of the tunnel.

But wait, is this a tunnel?

You don't know. It might as well be a cave. You can't tell, really. Whatever it might be, you don't feel the urge to figure out the exact answer as it feels so familiar. As if you have known this place forever.

However, the light has you curious. What is it? Where is it coming from? What lies out there? 

You hesitate for a split second if you should leave this place of comfort but in the end, curiosity gets the best of you.

You take tiny steps and head outside. The bright light makes you wince in discomfort. A look of irritation appears on your features as your pupils try to adjust to the brightness. You squint your eyes hard and try to look for the source of the light. However, you look away immediately, finding it impossible to stare at the object.

Giving up, you allow your pupils the time it needs to adapt. When you feel comfortable enough to look around, your eyes take in everything about the environment you currently find yourself in.

It's new, somewhere you have never been before which makes you feel nervous. Who knows what you're going to encounter here? What kind of people you'll meet? What experiences will you have? 

A sudden cheer coming from a distance catches your attention and without giving it a second thought, you start walking in that direction. Anything is better than being alone in an unknown place.

However, after a few steps, what you see, dissipates your fears.

You see swings, seesaws, slides and a variety of other rides that look incredibly fun. Birds chirp away, colourful butterflies fly from one flower to another and fishes swim in the pond. 

It's a playground, you realise.

You look down at your feet and only then do you happen to notice that you're barefoot and that you have been walking on soft grass all along. Excitement blooms in your chest when you see how beautiful everything around you is. You have never felt anything like this before. There's so much to do, so much to enjoy and so much to see. 

Deciding that it's the fishes you want to see first, you rush to the pond side and crouch down.

You stare in awe as you see a variety of fishes, varying vastly in size and colour, swim around in the water. Some occasionally come to the surface which causes small bubbles to come out of their mouths. Then, your eyes land on the water lilies and you gasp at how beautiful they are. You look at the water droplets that rest on the petals and you feel awe at how perfectly round they are; like little pearls. You dip your hand in the pond and the cold water brings contrast to the warmth you have been feeling on your skin since stepping out.

Warmth. Light. Too much light.

Suddenly something clicks in your mind and you realise that the source of light you were trying to figure out a few moments ago, was the Sun. 

You giggle at the thought that it took you so much time to realise that.

You're so silly.

Shrill excited screams greet your ears and your eyes snap in the direction the noise came from. Your smile widens even further when you realise it's a group of children playing together. They look so happy and ecstatic chasing each other that it immediately makes you want to join. 

You get up and run in their direction. "Can I join?" A bright grin plays on your lips as you look at them expectantly. 

The children stop playing and look at you. Their bright smiles fade slowly and something cruel, and menacing takes over their features. The sky turns grey, thunder roars and owls start to screech. 

You immediately know that there is something wrong. You turn around and start running with all that you have got.

But you only make it so far. 

A tall, dark, hooded figure appears in front of you and out of nowhere, you lose your mobility. You try your best to move your feet and run but to no avail. 

The mystery figure starts laughing loudly and you start feeling this crushing pain in your chest that's somehow both physical and emotional. You wail and cry for mercy but no one shows sympathy.

God, you should have just stayed where you were. Why did you choose to come out?

Your eyes snap open and the first thing you do is turn on the lights. Looking around you realise that you are in your dorm and that it was just a dream. 

However, that realisation doesn't soothe you. You find yourself still being in flight or fight mode and the crushing pain in your chest refuses to leave.

You get up and grab a glass of water. With a displeased scowl on your face, you replay the dream you just had. 

You have never had a dream like this before. You may have dreamt of monsters and magical places but never have you felt the emotions so vividly. And for some reason, the dream was scarier than any dream you have ever had. 

You go to the washroom and splash your face with water. Taking a few deep breaths, you place your hand on your chest and try to calm yourself down.

After five minutes or so, you feel a bit steady. You splash your face a few more times before looking into the mirror. 

It's only a dream, you tell yourself.

There's no point in trying to look into it or in trying to find some deeper meaning behind it. It may take a few minutes more for the remnant emotions to fade but there's no point in getting so worked up over it.

You sit on your bed and scroll through Instagram, hoping that it will act as a distraction and once again, find yourself waiting for sleep to take over.

The next day, you go to class looking like a zombie because sleep wasn't your friend last night. After that dream, it just simply refused to visit and as a result of which you were forced to stare at the ceiling like a fool. 

You would have honestly preferred to miss the first few classes but then you refused to do so as you owe an apology to Brie. Talking to her and letting her know that you didn't mean to react that way comes way before getting an early morning nap. 

With a practised speech (because you can't risk letting anything about the ring out) that you hope conveys your emotions, you walk into your class and look if Brie's here already. When you notice that she isn't, you find an empty seat and put your bag on the seat next to you, to save a seat for Brie. 

You take out the storybook you started reading only a week ago and start reading it. However, after a few moments, you feel as if people are looking at you. You try to ignore it, thinking that it's just your mind playing games. But it soon becomes so uncomfortable that you are forced to look up from your book. 

As it turns out, it wasn't just your mind playing games. People really are looking at you and are murmuring among themselves. 

Before you can even come up with assumptions as to what this is about, someone taps on your shoulders, aggressively. 

And of course, it's Brie. 

"Explain this," she demands and shoves her phone at your face and looks at you, expecting an answer. 

"Geez, calm down," you say with a light awkward chuckle. 

"Sorry, can't," she clicks her tongue in annoyance and urges you to take a look at her phone.

You do so and look at the screen and you suddenly understand why people are looking at you weirdly. It's the same picture you and Jungkook clicked yesterday using his phone. The only difference is, it's now on Jungkook's instagram available for everyone to see.

"Shit," you whisper as your face pales. 

You didn't for once consider the possibility that he will upload the picture on his Instagram.

There's nothing you can do now, you realise. It's already out and by the looks of it, is a topic of discussion among your peers. 

Your eyes fall on the ring and a feeling of annoyance sparks within you. You thought this ring would make things easier for you. You just wanted one month of peace and happiness.

Why then, do you find yourself unable to feel those very emotions? 

If you enjoy my work, consider subscribing to my patreon and be the first to read my updates!

Much love ❤️

[ratcatcher0325]

A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #31)

Chapter #31. ... Something Wicked this way comes... Or so Alexander thinks. Who is at Nat's door?

So this is by far my longest chapter yet! I guess that makes up for how long it took me to write and edit it? Maybe? Anyway thanks for continuing to read!! I love and appreciate you all!

Previous: Chapter #30

Next: Chapter #32

Word Count: 10,045 Read Time: Approx. 60+ mins

CW: adult language

Tag list: @gatlily @patrocolus3 @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien @thegodmother007 @honey-olive @bittykimmy13 @aceouttatime @imvenusasaboy @liminaldaze @windshield-patent @joxter-coded @rosella35 @narrans @rubeau-art @littlescaryinternetguy @jae-from-discord @kitn-underfoot @secretly-small @writing-forever @iinogongju @itsgothgirlthyme @make-me-giant @reborrowing @whatthisfemsheplikes @soapysoap69 @tinystrawberryshifter @thetinylittlespider @bigboicol-theflamingcol @certainwizardlady

Btw, DM me if you wanna be added to the tag list!

___________________________________

A Fraction of Justice

Chapter #31: The Pricking of Thumbs... and Eyes

[Alexander’s POV]

I strained to listen through the bedroom door, thicker than I measured shoulder to shoulder, through walls of drywall and insulation, through distance. While it was only a few dozen steps for the human who’d just told me to hide, it may as well have been the better part of a mile for me. 

Damn my little frame! 

My throat tightened as my spinal column was washed with adrenaline. What was happening out there? Was she okay? What was my best course of action? On the desktop I had the advantage of some height, sure, but I was also a sitting duck, with no chance to outrun a pair of malicious human hands if it were to come down to that. Did I risk clamoring to the floor? Or did that just guarantee my doom, underfoot? Down there, I’d have more places to hide out of sight before springing into action with this makeshift weapon I currently hefted under my arm. If push came to shove, would I be able to get to her in time to make any difference at all? Even if I crashed my way into the room with two absolutely massive beings before me, was there anything I could do to help? 

My few milliseconds for strategizing were abruptly cut short as the creak of the door opening far off in the distance hit my ears. My blood froze in my veins and I admit, I held my breath as I ground my heels into the wood of the desk, waiting to discover what was taking place far beyond where I stood. 

The door opened. I strained, wincing and wishing I wasn’t banished to this far off room, like some weak little coveted prize to be stashed away when danger called. I couldn’t be certain, but I swore I heard a gasp. 

Her gasp. 

My heart thundered ever more feverishly. That was it. I had to do something. Anything. Even if it got me killed. I would not lie down and cower in fear like some weak little waste of oxygen. If she needed my help, I’d try my damndest to give it. 

Without a second thought, I hobbled over to the edge of her desk, contemplating the cables I’d shimmied down once before. I now had the much more logistically challenging job of navigating this vertical drop with a letter opener towering a whole 3 inches above my head and mobility aid tucked under my arm. I heard a shuffling of feet as I swung my own over the cliff’s edge that was the desk’s ledge. I tried not to think about how a drop from this height could kill me as I heard her exclaim, “What the fuck? What’re you doing here?” Was this someone she knew? To my ears, it didn’t sound good.

 I needed to move, and quickly. I heard a male voice, deep and wholly unfamiliar ring in response, but I hardly had the bandwidth to pick up on his exact words. I managed to hear “Worried… Own good… Don’t freak out…” I launched myself over the edge, both hands gripping the cord as I swung precariously, trying not to drop the two objects carefully hooked under my right shoulder joint and pressed to my side with the crook of my elbow. I had to make sure to apply adequate pressure to keep them from slipping. 

 Hand under fist, I began to slowly lower myself down the length of the cord. The progress was abysmally slow. I bared my teeth, sweat forming on my brow, as a muscular burning began to blossom in my shoulders and arms. No! Not now, I’ve only just begun my descent. 

I pictured Natalie’s face in my mind. I’d no doubt she could hold her own quite well. The incident with the driver in her alley and her unapologetic shouting match with the impatient man came immediately to the forefront of my thoughts. She did not hesitate to come to her own defense, and I knew that. What she’d failed to remember when she’d commanded me to hide myself away, is that I would not hesitate to do the same. 

I was ripped back to reality by two concurrent events that occupied my full attention. First, I could feel my crutch slipping dangerously from my hold on it, threatening to fall out of my grip entirely, as my arms shook with the effort to hold myself aloft. I could hardly afford to risk letting go with one arm to catch it, let alone be able to twist around in time to stop its fall. I doubted I’d be able to support my full weight with just one fist gripping tightly to the slippery rubber casing of a wire. Yet, if it tumbled to the ground, and out of reach, I’d be royally screwed in trying to hobble even a few paces. 

As I hung in place, tightening the pressure between my elbow and ribs to try to keep the objects from falling, the second event tore me away from my current disaster unto another. There were footsteps, loud and unmistakable, thundering toward the door. This human, whoever he was, would be bursting through the threshold in only a few seconds’ time, judging by the cacophony of shoes on wood flooring. 

I was much too high off the ground to risk jumping, but too far down to have enough time to clamor back up again. This was a huge mistake. I was stuck, midair, probably about level with the average human’s thigh, swinging uselessly, and utterly exposed. Like ripe fruit ready to be plucked from its vine, I was at high risk of being snatched up.  

Steel yourself, Alexander, now’s not the time for succumbing to fear. I had a weapon after all, and a sharp one at that. 

The gigantic footfalls continued with ever growing intensity in my direction. The stranger’s voice seemed far too casual and familiar for my liking, “Aww, come on, I gotta see what’s been goin’ on… what’re you trying to hide?” Who was this man? Why was she not stopping him and what gave him any right to invade her home on such unexpected notice, no less? 

What was she trying to hide? Me. You unwelcome invader of privacy. She’s trying to hide me. So much for keeping out of plain sight and giving her peace of mind. 

“No, you really don’t! N-no I’m not hiding– I just… now’s not a good time and–” Her voice was softer than his, quieter and more distant. He was charging ahead and she was scrambling after him. What was wrong with this human? Did he not know how to listen? 

The footfalls were so close now, I could feel them as they ricocheted through the hardwood floor of the hall, and shook my makeshift climbing rope ever so slightly. 

How embarrassing. Just their steps were enough to rock me to and fro like a fragile leaf on the breeze. I swallowed hard. This was it. In the next millisecond I’d be face to face… well… make that face to body with an unknown enemy.

I gripped tighter, tucking the cable between the sole of one shoe and the toe of the other, so that I didn’t have to bear all my weight with just my arms. This muscular effort tweaked my injured leg, as my trembling hands gained some small relief. With my crutch still barely able to balance, I readied myself to use my weapon if needed. I was almost certain it would be needed. 

That’s when he crashed through the door. 

He towered over me, of course. The gusts of wind generated from his massive form erupting into the room threw my hair about my face and made me grit my teeth. Why did humans have to be so big?! 

He stopped just inside the doorway, his left thigh upsettingly close, yet maybe just an inch or so shy of being within stabbing range. Damn. Still, he was much too near for my liking. I could practically smell him. Was that fresh soap and a hint of cinnamon? I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

 He hadn’t noticed me yet: of course not, I was far below his eye line, why would he? He stood comfortably, as if he owned the place. He looked a few years older than Natalie, perhaps about my age, though it was impossible to know for sure. His bespectacled visage was bright, excitable. He seemed amused, as he cast his gaze around. His beard, dark in color, just like his neat, tightly curled hair, was cut close to his jawline. The wide-necked cable-knit sweater he wore sported a geometric pattern in black, royal blue and crisp white. His left hand relaxed inside the pocket of his corduroy slacks, as he took in the room before him. 

I hated him at first glance. 

He played the part of a perfect Nantucket dandy, clearly hailing from wealth, and with the added benefit of an Ivy League university education, he seemed out of place in Natalie’s humble living conditions. Everything about him oozed with pretension and privilege. And yet, the two of them seemed well acquainted, so there must’ve been some common ground. 

While this strange and wholly unwelcome intruder delighted in the view, my muscles were screaming for relief. Sweat poured from my brow and down the back of my neck. My arms, in spite of my best efforts, were starting to tremble and that damned cane was ever closer to tipping out of my grasp and down to the floor, a deadly distance away. I couldn’t hold on for much longer, but I’d be damned if I’d let this supercilious interloper’s first encounter with me be one of pitying condescension because I required any form of assistance.  

A moment after he’d paused in the doorway, the third party in this equation, and second human, my human, practically crashed into him in her hurried attempt to stop him in his tracks. Great job, on that front, Natalie. She managed to stop just short of colliding directly into his back by gripping to the threshold of the door and halting her momentum. Much to my surprise, I noticed she was significantly shorter than him. Was Natalie short? That seemed impossible, given just how towering she was to me. Or was this unannounced visitor just abnormally tall? From my vantage point they both may as well have been city buildings, so the difference hardly mattered. 

I watched as her eyes flitted feverishly over the desk’s surface, no doubt searching for me. She was red faced and breathless. I couldn’t tell if she was more relieved or panicked by not knowing where I was. Maybe luck was on my side and I’d go unnoticed by them both, left to gasp and tend to my sore muscles in the sanctity and peace of a humanless space. She sucked in air as if about to speak, no doubt to usher him out of the room, when he, oblivious, his back to both of us, cut her off. 

“Damn Nat, since when did you start picking up? This place always looked like a tornado blew through here but now it should be on the cover of a home decor magazine or something… What’s changed?” Me. I’m the change that made her clean up her pigsty of a home. You’re welcome. If I hadn’t been convinced already, it was painfully clear now that these two knew each other. He had this smug, easy going familiarity about him that made the bile rise in my throat. Who did this man think he was, waltzing into Natalie’s home uninvited and entirely unexpected and then parading around as if he owned the place? Was he expecting to stay for dinner? Spend the weekend on her couch? How dare he interrupt her work, our work, as if we had nothing better to do with our day than entertain him! 

I glanced over at Natalie, she didn’t seem the least bit offended or wary of his presence. So he’d been an unplanned but not altogether shocking visitor? How often did this stranger make himself comfortable in her home? They must’ve been quite close if he had unfettered access to her space and had been here frequently enough to note her change in personal organization. Why hadn't she mentioned him before?

As he spoke, he took another step into the space and went so far as to sweep a finger tip across the surface of her dresser to check for dust, his expression one of impressed intrigue (as he should be, that was my meticulous and thorough dusting he was observing). 

While he remained occupied, I suddenly felt the invasion of her gaze alighting on me. She finally spotted me, dangling there like some marionette in the world’s most boring puppet show. 

Her eyes bulged from her skull, as she set her jaw and her nostrils flared in that capricious way she always did when she was upset with me, which was infuriatingly often. 

Her gaze flitted with anxious intensity from my dangling form to the back of this other human, and then returned to me. With a frantic, utterly confounded gesture she mouthed at me with a serpent’s intensity “What the fuck are you doing?!” 

I hissed back, the heat in my face beginning to rise, “What am I doing? Why is he–” I jutted my chin in the stanger’s direction, which I immediately regretted as the force of my gesture forced me to swing in counterbalance, making the challenge of keeping my grip steady and the objects in my arms from falling all the more difficult, “--even here?” I cast my eyes down to the letter opener, and then back to her, “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m protecting you!” 

Somehow, her eyes managed to widen even farther as her gaze followed mine toward the letter opener in my grip, its blade as long as I was tall, sharp and menacing, “Don’t you dare! Alexander! No! Do NOT.” 

While she spat through gritted teeth, she made all kinds of emphatic gestures: shaking her head, swiping her hand in one fell motion across her throat, and staring daggers at me. If she hadn’t learned by now that telling me what to do would get her absolutely nowhere, then there really was no hope for her. If the man deserved to be stabbed, a stabbing he would get. Simple as that. 

She seemed to read my mind, “Alexander–” She was about to continue, her eyes narrowed to slits, even taking half a step in my direction, no doubt on the verge of expressing more disapproval for my very reasonable reaction to an invader in her home, or perhaps to simply snatch me up and disarm me, which I was prepared to fight tooth and nail over. Just as she drew another breath, however, the seemingly spatially unaware invader himself, clearly having no idea of this fiercely whispered conversation behind his back, uttered a noise of delight and intrigue which made both our heads whip in his direction. 

“Oh! This is adorable!” During the length of our heated exchange, our interloper had graduated from the dresser to the bedside table, where he was now leaning, hands on knees, marveling at the miniature wonder that was my neatly made bed, my dresser, and a few other furniture items, all to my scale: my open air bedroom of sorts. Oh give me a break! Have you never seen a bed before? What’s wrong with you?

 Defensively, Natalie stepped in his direction, still trying to keep my presence a secret; a smart move if his fascination with just my furniture was any indication of how he’d react to seeing me. A few beads of sweat traced down my spine as I grit my teeth, struggling to hold on. He continued to stare, adjusting his glasses for a better look, “What’s all this for? It’s so cute!” Come back over here and I’ll show you cute. 

Realizing with simultaneous intuition that we had about half a second before he’d turn over his shoulder to look back in her direction, we exchanged a swift, knowing glance before she turned on her heel, and planted herself firmly between him and my hiding spot, obscuring me from view.  

“Oh! All that? It’s… nothing… I thought my niece might like them, I just haven’t wrapped them up for her yet…” Ah yes, thank you Natalie, for reminding me that I and your niece’s playthings could do a furniture swap if we wanted. Excellent. At least she was giving me a chance to escape my predicament. She got points for that.

 I wasted no time in re-engaging my muscles for the upward climb. As my shoulder joints buckled, I felt my stomach drop. Did I have the strength to pull myself up? 

Now was not the time for doubt. I had to try. 

She continued to cover for me, speaking louder than was normal, as I made laughably little progress towards the lip of the desk, “Anyway, look, I really appreciate you coming to check on me. You have literally been saving my ass with the lectures and stuff, I owe you, big time…” My whole body was trembling, my breath escaping my lungs in ragged gasps, my hands, now slick with sweat, were struggling to maintain traction, as my hurt leg burned from the far too great strain I was putting on it just to keep from slipping. As I struggled against gravity, Natalie crossed the room to the other human, trying her damndest to usher him toward the door.

I was only a bit too preoccupied at the moment to clock whether her encouragement was proving successful. Hand over fist, feet wrapped tightly around the thick, rubber casing, I was getting ever closer to sweet relief. Only about two inches of distance left. I could do this. 

No sooner had I encouraged myself, than my next handhold gave way and I was left to cling fast by one arm, as I instinctively hugged the letter opener and cane to my chest with my now free hand, both objects swaying wildly along the same pendulum trajectory of my own form. My heart rate spiked and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to make a sound as I happened to peer down at the floor, seemingly a million miles below me. That was close. Taking advantage of the gravitational force that bandied me about, I managed to grab back on with my right hand. 

Okay, crisis averted, I could do this. 

 “...But, you did your check-up on me and as you can see I’m totally fine, so…”

Nevermind. I could not do this. 

No sooner had I steeled myself for the homestretch, my grip gave way again and this time I had much less luck in righting myself. My favored hand, my left, failed me, as did my foothold. I was now dangling, precariously, by one arm, legs flailing, as I swung with a violent rhythm. But that wasn’t the end of my troubles. In my scramble to right myself, my movement was enough to finally knock the crutch from my grasp.. and down, down, down it fell. 

"...Thanks for stopping by. Like I said I do have a bunch of shit to do today–” CLANG!!! 

The aluminum cane collided with the metal rim of the trash can below. My shoulders flew up to my ears as I cringed and grit my teeth. 

So much for keeping a low profile. 

The gasp of pure delight that came from the man across the room made my stomach churn, as I hung, wrapped tightly around the cable, my one line of defense still pressed between my chest and arm. The speed with which he turned on his heel, alerted by the sound I’d accidentally made, only to almost instantaneously break into a, frankly, disturbingly joyful smile made my countenance twist into a snarl. He practically bounded over to me, with so much enthusiasm that his footfalls shook me from head to toe. 

Why, oh why, did I ever delude myself into thinking the company of humans was ever worthwhile?

Much to my utter frustration and embarrassment, all my swinging and thrashing about for a steady hold left the wire above me twisted, and, therefore, I found myself being turned so that his rapidly approaching gigantic face was greeted with only my back.

This was all much too humiliating. I kicked and writhed in a minimally successful attempt to right myself. What I was greeted with made me regret the effort. 

His bespectacled gaze was a mere few inches from my body, his dark eyes, widened and glowed with patronizing fascination. 

“Awwwww…” His voice was booming, the intensity of his stare far too all-encompassing, he was close enough that I could smell him, that hint of soap and cinnamon striking my nostrils like a biochemical warning signal. He smiled, his massive eyes staring directly down into mine, “You need help, there, little buddy?” I could practically feel the steam erupting from my ears. Before I even had a chance to snap back, the pad of a finger, huge, rough and jarring, pressed into my ribs to turn me fully about.

 I writhed away from his touch, swinging to and fro and snarling, “DO NOT TOUCH ME.” Even a rattlesnake gives one fair warning before he strikes, this is mine and you’d do well to adhere to its call. 

Simultaneously with my outburst Natalie stepped forward, clearly forecasting what was to come. She knew me well enough by now to know just how I would take such condescension. As she came forward, I felt myself tensing, Don’t you dare swoop in and rob me of my moment. I don’t need your help here, I’m well armed and perfectly capable. I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin, hungering for the now inevitable moment of  confrontation with a being twelve times larger than myself. 

She continued to close the distance between us, and I couldn’t help noticing how her hand rested on his trapezius muscle with easy familiarity. She glared at him, an eyebrow raised “Yeah. Don’t, dude. Don’t do that…” Her eyes darted from him to me, her right hand poised to reach forward and tear me away. As much as I relished the idea of not having to hang here any longer, I craved the opportunity to give this dimwit a piece of my mind with far greater fervor.

But it seemed unnecessary for me to advocate on my own behalf, because he immediately laid the groundwork of his own demise, “Aw, come on, Nat. Don’t stress. I’ve got this. Just watch, we’re gonna be the best of friends after today, aren’t we? Aren’t we little fella?” How perfect. Keeping digging your own grave, you cable-knit clown. 

He stared expectantly, awaiting a response. His brows furrowed when he received nothing but an unrelenting glare from me, “He’s not much of a talker, huh?” His eyes darted uncomfortably away from my stone cold stare, as he looked to Natalie for an explanation.

“Quite the opposite, actually. That’s why I’m worried…” 

“Aww, don’t be! I’m not gonna hurt him!” 

“… for you, jackass. You’ve pissed him off into silent rage, that’s a level farther than even I’ve gotten.” 

The bespectacled man burst into laughter. Not only did the volume at this distance threaten to blow out my eardrums, but the boiling of my blood quickened my heart rate and I couldn’t help but snarl. The ignoramus wiped a tear from his eye and managed to speak between bouts of belly laughter, “You’re joking, right? That’s adorable! Uh oh, somebody’s grumpy! We all better be very afraid!” He threw his hands up in mock terror. His voice cascaded and echoed in a sing-songy voice reserved for the condescension of human babies or cute animals. Come just a little closer, you ignorant bastard, I dare you. 

“I’m gonna say this one more time, you’re gonna regret saying shit like that, I promise. So either move and let me disarm him, or you’ll see what happens when you piss him off!” 

Another round of incredulous laughter. Could he manage to be any louder and more obnoxious? I highly doubted it. He continued, unphased by Natalie’s apt warning,  “Look at him! He’s harmless! What’s he gonna do? That letter opener is bigger than he is. I’m actually surprised he’s even able to hold it!” You’ll be even more surprised how much force I can put behind it when its razor edge sinks into your flesh, “Yeah, you’re not gonna hurt me, are ya? I bet you’re just a sweet little guy, deep down. I just frightened you, is all. Don’t be scared…” Scared?! Who did he think he was dealing with? “Did you drop something? Here lemme help you….” 

He sank all the way to his knees now, searching the carpet fibers for my long lost cane. I waited, practically salivating in anticipation. He rose back to a neutral spine, his knees still planted in the carpet, as he held the walking aide triumphantly between finger and thumb, it looking no more durable than a twig in his massive grip. He grinned brightly, clearly pleased with himself. Alright, just a little closer… 

He waved it wildly in front of my face, like teasing a dog with a stick before playing fetch. Needless to say I was less than amused. He leaned forward, to place it on the surface of the desk behind me. Yes, you’re doing great, A+ for hitting your mark. You’re almost exactly where I want you to be. Just a tiny bit closer… His massive face was mere inches from mine, I could see every pore, every eyelash, every detail I’m sure most humans would prefer to be left to the imagination. He was so near I could feel the cascading tide of his breath stirring tendrils of my hair. He looked down at me, his dark brown eyes bright with bubbly self satisfaction, “There ya go. See? We can be friends. I’m not out to getcha…” As soon as the object clattered to the wooden surface, his hand descended from over my head, careening down, closer and closer until his fingers were right on top of me, aiming for my hair. Was this man about to try and pet me?! 

Without a second’s hesitation, I wrapped my right arm firmly around the chord, hefted the letter opener over my head, tucked it securely on my left side, and then shoved it forward with all my might. 

The trajectory of the weapon was suddenly halted when its point hit home, jarring my shoulder as it absorbed the ricochet of force. 

This four-eyed Polyphemus roared in shock and surprise, his hand flying up to the origin of sudden pain. The letter opener had glanced off the rim of his glasses, and the blade hit its mark just an inch or so shy of his right ocular organ. He whipped away, batting the letter opener as he went with such force that he very nearly pulled the weapon and me right along with him, but, somehow, in spite of our significant disparity in strength, I managed to hold fast. 

His initial exclamation, loud enough to deafen me, was not one of articulate words, but rather garbled shouting. He’d flung himself backwards, crumpled in a heap on the floor. 

And thus, Saint George slayed the dragon. 

Did I feel a swell of pride enlarge my chest? You bet I did.  

Raising my voice over the din, I shouted at the top of my lungs, “I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME, YOU INSUFFERABLE WRETCH!” I couldn’t help but laugh as I swung on the wire, all muscular exhaustion temporarily forgotten in the wake of this newfound excitement. 

“ALEXANDER!!!” Uh oh. 

Here came Natalie, her shadow casting a pall, literally and figuratively, over my gleeful celebration. She was pissed. I didn’t care.  

Meanwhile, her friend had scrambled across the carpet until his head crashed into the dresser behind him, “WHAT THE FUCK?!?! HE ALMOST STABBED ME IN THE EYE!” The timbre of his voice  had gone from saccharinely sweet baby talk to one of whiny disdain and flustered disbelief. He pointed at me emphatically with his free hand, looking to Natalie for some sort of recompense. 

I beat her to the punch.  

“WHAT DID I SAY? HM? WHAT DID I TELL YOU? I WARNED YOU!!!” I shouted across the cavern between myself and him, until my throat was raw. By this time, Natalie had fully crossed the few feet between her dresser and desk, settling before me on her knees, her brow furrowed and her jaw clenched. 

“Alexander! Hush! You’ve done enough damage already…” Her fingers descended around me, her thumbs pressing into my sternum and across my abdomen, her coinciding index fingers reaching under my arms and just above my hips to support my weight. Her grip was a bit harder and swifter than I’d become used to. She was trying to pluck me up quickly, and I sensed it wasn’t simply due to a desire to relieve me of holding myself up.

 Nevertheless, I was grateful for the relief, letting out a breath I hadn’t noticed I was holding. Carefully, she untangled me from the wire and shifted me to a seated position in her right palm. As she gathered me in her hand, she paused just long enough to cast a glance over her shoulder, “He did warn you though, like, in a multitude of ways…”

“Ha! See??” I burst with pride, unable to keep a wide grin from painting my features. 

She whipped around immediately, “Oh shut up, Alexander,” She pointed her index finger at my chest, “You’re in as much trouble as he is! He was being a fucking ass, yes, but you didn’t have to shank him! Give me that!!” Her finger and thumb dove for the plastic handle of my weapon, still dutifully tucked under my arm.  

I resisted, jerking my shoulder in the opposite direction, “Me? What did I do except protect myself… and you?” 

She looked utterly incredulous, motioning with a sweeping, exaggerated gesture at the injured party, who had now managed to scramble to his feet, examining his battle wound in the vanity mirror, “You STABBED my fucking friend! That’s the TA!” 

I was baffled by this newfound information. 

“THAT’S the TA? Who’s been sending the taped lectures and keeping your attendance afloat? That pretentious imbecile? Well, he shouldn’t have been so condescending to me! And… besides, you could’ve led with that, you know! Maybe then I’d have gone for his hands instead!” I found myself escalating in volume as I spoke, getting increasingly more emphatic, until I was practically shouting. 

“You didn’t give me a chance before you went all Zorro on his ass!!!!!” 

“What’s Zorro?!?!?”

“Oh my god! Give me the sharp object Alexander, do not make me pry it out of your tiny little hands!” My face flushed hot. I knew she was keenly aware I resented that completely unnecessary addition of ‘tiny’ and ‘little’ into her request. Nothing about me was little, everything and everyone else was just huge. End of story. 

 She held out her free hand, flat, just below my chest, raising one eyebrow expectantly. I held off for a second, then another, “ALEXANDER!”  Fine!

 I trusted our intruder understood his limits now and would not be making the same mistake twice. I relented, laying the slightly bloodied object across her fingers. She pursed her lips as if to say “That’s what I thought.” I had a feeling she had a few choice words for me after this unexpected visit. No matter. I regretted nothing. 

“Uh, Nat?” It’s bleeding… like a lot…” His voice from across the room drew our attention once more. He turned over his shoulder as he spoke, revealing a rivulet of blood springing from his cheek, down the fingers he’d pressed against it to staunch the flow, and down farther still, staining his pristine, white, woolen collar. 

“Fuck!” Natalie practically groaned, before flashing me an extremely dirty look, “Here, lemme… uh, here…” she half rose, seeming to suddenly remember she was holding me. With a grimace, she set me down somewhat roughly on the desktop. She wasted no time in quickly swiping the letter opener up and away from my grasp, before securing it in the back pocket of her jeans. Taking a quick glance around, she decided to pluck up the entire metal cup of pens and other writing utensils, “Please, just stay right here.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared. When she realized that was all she was going to get from me, she rolled her eyes and sighed. 

With that she rushed over to her friend who was cupping his other hand beneath the first to catch drops of crimson as they fell. She threw the pencil holder down on the vanity and ushered him hurriedly to the bathroom, turning over her shoulder and pointing both fingers at her eyes, before reversing the gesture to be aimed at me. I held my hands up, what could I possibly do now? I was unarmed, and stranded. The object of my disdain far away from my radius for harm. 

As they retreated, I heard the wounded man grumble, “Fuck! He’s a little… demon!!” I had the sense that a different word had come to mind first, but he’d chosen the latter. 

“… Yeah, believe me, I know…” Hey! Natalie, you’re supposed to be on my side! 

“Why in the hell do you keep him around, then?” 

“I don’t know how to explain it, but, believe it or not, he actually kinda grows on you after a while.” I wasn’t sure what to make of that. Should I be offended or flattered? 

“I can’t believe he actually stabbed me…” And I’d do it again without hesitation. 

After that, their voices became so muffled beyond the partially closed bathroom door that it was hardly worth straining to listen. 

I sat alone, isolated and small, feeling a burning sensation in all my exhausted muscle groups, as my heart and lungs worked to steady themselves to a more even tempo. The gift of solitude meant that I no longer had to maintain my composure. I collapsed back onto an elbow, breath coming in ragged fits and starts, no longer having to maintain a defensive stance. Air couldn’t come fast enough as I choked and sweat dripped in my eyes and down my back and neck. My arms and legs were spasming as I tried my best to come down from the excitement of all that had just transpired. Damn, my leg hurt. Everything hurt. I focused on my breathing for a few moments, eyes craned to the ceiling so far above where I lay. I was utterly exhausted. A long rest in my bed which had been the object of such condescension and ridicule just a while ago sounded utterly delightful. But what could I do? I had no means of crossing the vast room in any practical way. I was much too pathetically little for such luxuries of inhabiting two different corners of a room with ease. As if I needed any more reminders today of how small I was. What was a man in my situation to do but sit and ponder? I had no other recourse, after all. 

So, this was her friend who’d helped make all this time working from home possible? I was beginning to think Natalie had very poor taste in friends. I wrinkled my nose in disgust remembering how his eyes had lit up in fascination like I was some shiny, new, coveted object. What was wrong with humans? What was so delightfully fascinating about me anyway?  In any case, he got exactly what was coming to him. 

The muffled sound of voices honed into sharp focus as, suddenly, a voice with a male timbre could be heard whining, “Fuck! OWWW!!!”

A female voice followed with zero hesitation, “Oh don’t be such a fucking baby!” 

I couldn’t help but chuckle. You got what you deserved, you overly enthused idiot. Of course, in fairness to him, I knew firsthand how dangerous Natalie could be when armed with a cotton swab soaked in hydrogen peroxide. 

*********

If I was in the mood to be generous, which I wasn’t, all I could say is that the tension in the air between myself, leaning over the kitchen counter prepping two whiskey cokes, my friend, nursing his wounds at my kitchen table, and the positively tiny man, petulantly sulking on the opposite side of the table and somehow, even from this distance, palpably radiating with vitriol, was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. The only sound was the groan of the living room heater, as ice clattered in the glass while I poured.  

We’d shuffled from bedroom to kitchen without so much as a word between us. And now here we were, all avoiding eye contact like put out children. This was fucking stupid. They were both being wildly immature about this. Build a bridge guys. Don’t condscend and don’t be a fucking dick, it’s not that complicated. Did this whole crazy day say something about me? Was I like a drama magnet or something? 

Tired of the exhaustive pity party, I swept my hair from my eyes, and swirling them for a final time, I set the drinks down by a wool sweater covered elbow. Neither of them bothered to respond.

 I stood there for a moment before breaking the ice myself, “Alright then… Alexander? Meet Charles. He’s a teaching assistant in most of my main lectures this semester. He was just coming over to check on me since I’d kinda gone AWOL these last few weeks. That’s all. He’s not a threat to either of us, okay? He’s a good guy and he means well. He just… had a pretty major… lapse in judgment. One of the smartest people I know… Oh, don’t glare at me like that! Besides you, of course. Okay, Charles, meet Alexander. I found him in my pantry… well, actually, my roses… well, I technically found him in the trash, I just didn’t know it yet… anyway, he’s incredibly intelligent, fiercely independent, and he’s been through some fucking major shit, yet, he still manages to come back swinging every time. To be super clear, he’s here only as long as he wants to be, he’s his own man and he has my utmost respect, even though he pisses me off every five minutes for doing gremlin shit like stabbing my friends in the fucking face. Oh, and he’s almost as big a nerd as you, so I’d like to think you two can find some common ground. So, with that said, it’s time to kiss and make up.” They each bore holes into the surface of the table. I refused to take no for an answer, “Apologize to each other, now.” 

Both their heads whipped up, brows furrowed, incredulous sputters erupting from both mouths, big and small. Then, upon realizing I was serious, and almost as if on cue, both shouted, “Me?! What did I do?!” 

“Jesus Christ, do I have to do all the heavy lifting around here?” I couldn’t help but massage my temples, a stress headache no doubt on the near horizon, “Charles? Gimme your eyes…” My friend’s lips flattened into a line as he raised one eyebrow as if to say, ‘Really, Nat?’ My bad. Wrong turn of phrase, given that one of his seeing organs was nearly lost just a few minutes ago. 

I sighed, settling into the chair between the two uneasy parties, each glaring over his shoulder at the other, “Sorry, well, your one good one, then… Look…” Fuck, bad phrasing again, what was wrong with me? “…I haven’t even had a chance to properly thank you for braving this shit weather to come check on me. I know I haven’t been super responsive and you’re a good friend…” 

The tiny scoff in the vicinity of my right elbow made me, albeit briefly, change course, “Zip it, Alexander!” Instead of acquiescing quietly, he, of course, had to make a big show of his dislike of being told what to do. He threw his small weight dramatically against the ugly, chipped, ceramic salt shaker my grandma gifted me years ago. 

The object hardly even rocked as he pressed against it, rolling over his shoulder to turn away from me and obscure himself from view behind the white and blue patterned flowers,  “…Anyway, where was I?” I turned my attention back to Charles, “Yes, you’re awesome, thank you for always watering my plants when I go home on break and for making the hellscape that is lawschool slightly more bearable. However… As you can see, there’s something significantly different from last time we really talked and there’s some important things you need to know: He may look like the cutest little blonde-haired, blue-eyed angel that you’ve ever seen, he may be so adorably small that he can fit in just the palm of your hand and, yes, in theory, if you were really determined to pick him up you could do so without too much resistance, but when I tell you it is against your own self interest to fuck with this little man I am speaking from extensive experience. He deserves as much respect as anyone else, big or small. He’s fought for that all his life and at least in the confines of this apartment, he’ll get what he’s worked so hard for. Believe me, he had to train me too, in the beginning. Listen to him and everyone will be much better off for it, I promise. Do not condescend to him, do not touch him without his permission and do not, under any circumstances, treat him as anything less than the hyper intelligent, wonderful little nightmare he is.” Out of the corner of my eye, I caught tiny movements on the table’s surface below, a pair of blue eyes staring up at me through blonde, curtained bangs as he listened intently. I didn’t dare flash my gaze in that direction, knowing full well once he’d been caught in the act, he’d turn away again. 

Charles was quick to respond, applying pressure with a few fingers around the banadage on his cheek, as if spot checking for blood, “Little nightmare is fuckin’ right. What did I do? I was kind. I helped him. I tried to be as gentle as I could. Look at him, he’s adorable… er, was… Can I really be blamed for that?” He shrugged defensively, “I mean, c’mon, they’re tiny, they’re cute, isn’t that, like, the whole point?” 

I was going to strangle him, “Dude, did you listen to a single thing I just said?”

“What?! I thought they liked it!” 

“You thought I… what?” No longer satisfied with lingering behind the salt shaker, Alexander rose to standing. Without his cane, which, in all the fuss, I’d stupidly left in the bedroom, he steadied himself with one hand on the painted ceramic, his chest puffed out, a defiant gleam in his eye. Oh boy, here we go. I knew better than to get in his way, but I couldn’t help taking a long swig from my glass in preparation for the tirade that was about to transpire,  “Please, repeat yourself, you thought I… what was that again?” 

Charles stuttered, flashing glances at me. His face was drawn, he instinctively leaned back, away from the little man before him who was unflinchingly glaring up in his direction. He knew he’d been caught, “W-well, I just… you know what I meant…” 

“You thought I liked being talked down to and treated with disregard? Interesting. What part of my reaction gave you that impression?” Even from this distance (perhaps a foot or so across the surface of the table) I could see his blue eyes were burning. Charles failed to respond, simply sputtering instead. I knew Alexander was just loving every second of this… smart little bastard, “No, I’m curious. You’re an aspiring attorney, aren’t you? Go on, then. Defend your case.” 

Charles looked at me and I offered no solace, instead, I  simply raised an eyebrow and downed another substantial fraction of my drink. As the little man spoke, goading the much larger recipient into a debate, he stepped away from the shaker, crossing toward Charles’ end of the table. I immediately bit my lip as he left the support behind and bore weight on his still weak leg. I did my best not to intervene, holding my breath as he made a few steps forward, a painful limp evident in his gait. Despite the pain, no doubt shooting through his body, his voice never waivered. Goddamn, I was proud of him, even if he was insulting my friend left and right. He tucked a hand into his side pocket, the other resting on his chest with a poised ease, his fingers spread from his solar plexus down the length of his sternum. This little nightmare knew precisely what he was doing, and I couldn’t help but watch, “Charles, wasn’t it? Tell me, Charles, how would you like it, if–” Just then, as he took another step forward, his knee failed to bear his weight, and he buckled. 

Gasping, my hand flew toward him, offering him support with a few fingers. He fell forward into my grasp, a snarl curling his mouth as his hands spread on my fingertips. He leaned against me until he regained his balance, gripping onto the segments of my fingers to pull himself back up. My heart was in my throat, as I searched his little face for signs of pain, noticing the rhythm of his own tiny heartbeats, though they spiked for a moment, didn’t seem to be going into overdrive. Setting his shoulders, he pushed forward, against my hand, attempting to continue on his path. I hesitated, providing the slightest resistance. His brow knit and those burning irises locked with mine again, “Natalie, I’m fine. Let go.” 

He wasn’t scared. His face was flushed and his bangs were disheveled, but his eyes were steeled and determined. I pulled my hand away without hesitation, wincing internally at each furious little limping stride he took, his fists balled at his sides. 

He regarded the man before him, whose eyeline may as well have been the summit of a sizable cliff face in their proportion to each other. The little man stood fearlessly beside a tumbler full of alcohol that he could have bathed in, sucked in a clean breath and laid into the larger man, “What you fail to understand is that there is not a single cell in my body that likes my current predicament,” As he spoke, his left pointer finger sawed and jabbed the air like some sort of rhetorical blade intent on wounding his target,  “I did not ask for you to loom over me, to touch me, to condescend or pacify me. I am not your friend, I don’t know you in any familiar way, yet you see someone like me, adorable and tiny, as I believe you put it, and you immediately assume that makes me somehow less valuable as a sentient being. You think that just because you can overpower me you have every right to do so. And I concede, in the current political landscape, you are legally allowed, no… not allowed, you are, in fact, encouraged to do so. And why shouldn’t you? I exist explicitly for your entertainment, don’t I? And, in any case, what am I going to do about it, even if I don’t like it? I couldn’t possibly, out of a desire for self-preservation, consider the idea of fighting back, could I? No! No, of course not. Because, as you put it, I’m just a ‘sweet little guy’, who ‘likes it’ when you treat me like an object. Indeed, it feels about as wonderful as a letter opener lodged in your face!” 

There was a pregnant pause between all three of us, as the gravity of his words pervaded the room. Both Charles and I couldn’t help but stare ashamedly into the inky depths of our drinks. I knew I was no saint, myself, when it came to the little man. He stood now with a rod straight spine, his arms crossed tightly over his chest as his lungs heaved with the task of receiving oxygen again, his unflinching gaze trained on the avoidant eyes of his opposite. I knew I’d fucked up hundreds of times: pissed him off, disspointed him, failed him. He was so right, and it was important we shut up and listen. 

The only sound was the heater rattling away, once again. 

“... Fuck…” Charles sighed, leaning all the way back in his chair now, his head in his hands. He was full of remorse “I’m… I’m really sorry. I wasn’t… You’re right, I just jumped to… I’m sorry, Alexander.” I watched the little man who wore his every thought on his sleeve, as he took this in. He was shocked. His head cocked to the side, his brow furrowed, his lips parting just slightly from their usual tight, pensive tension. He hadn’t expected this. Not at all. He blinked rapidly, his rigid posture softening ever so slightly as he was taken off-guard. 

Charles, taking precautions not to move too suddenly, pushed his chair out and leaned on the lip of the table, his chin resting on his forearm. As he moved, Alexander took a half step back, wary and uncertain about the whole situation, still, he never cowered and his eyes showed no fear. As the larger man settled himself, he was still a good distance from the baffled little man with whom he was now almost eye level. Slowly, he offered his index finger, “I’m sorry I insulted you. Can you forgive me?” Alexander regarded the man with suspicion, his brows knitted and his lips turned down into a sort of puzzled caution. 

Still, to my utter surprise, instead of using this moment of genuine vulnerability against his opponent, the little man stepped forward in all his five and a half inches and, albeit not all that enthusiastically, took the offered digit in the palm of his hand and shook it tersely before quickly breaking away. 

Charles didn’t linger in his space for long and soon returned to an upright position, as Alexander rubbed the center of his palm with the ball of his opposite thumb. It was clear we all needed some air. 

“Hey,” Charles met my gaze as I got his attention, “Could you do us a favor and go get his cane?” He and I exchanged a knowing glance. It was clear he understood what I was really asking for, “Just… just in case…” With a terse nod, the man in the wool sweater rose and disappeared down the hall. 

As the sound of his steps faded, I turned my full attention to the five and a half inches of a little life before me. It was just us again, after what’d felt like an eternity of drama. For the first time since that knock on the door, the air seemed to come a little more freely into my lungs. I propped my head on an elbow and looked him over. I watched his little body release pent up tension, his defensive spine melting into the everyday rigidity of his usual posture. Poor thing. Did he ever really allow himself to relax? He thrust his hands into his pockets, leaning his weight on his left side. I wondered how his leg was holding up. He hadn’t strained it this much since his surgery. I wanted desperately to offer him a hand to lean on but didn’t want to patronize. I bit my lip. 

Seeming to read my mind like a book, his keen eyes flitted in my direction, “I’m fine.” Are you, though? Or are you putting on a brave face? “I can tell you want to touch me as some form of physical comfort. So, go ahead, get it over with…” he lowered his head and spread his arms, as if surrendering. 

A pang of guilt shot through me, “No, I don’t want to make you endure it. If you want me to leave you alone, I will.” 

“You’re going to pout if I don’t allow for some form of contact. So, go on, just do what you’d like, within reason…” his head had stayed lowered to the ground until his very last few words, when his icy irises flashed up at me, and I caught a glimpse of a very different kind of glow in his eyes, one that was much softer, more vulnerable. I’d opened my mouth to rebuff him again when those eyes changed everything. 

Oh. 

This was his way of asking for it. His pride would never allow him to directly request what he wanted at this moment, especially not after chastising us both for our sins of condescension. I didn’t blame him. He’d been threatened, humiliated, laughed at, and stressed out. Maybe a minute or two to rest would do a world of good for him but, of course, he couldn’t admit to wanting something from me, that would be far too weak. We couldn’t acknowledge the reality of that truth for the sake of his ego, so I played along instead, “Just for a minute, please? You tell me when you’ve had enough torture for one day and I’ll let you go.” He nodded, eyes still fixed to the ground. Although it was almost impossible to see his face, I swear I saw more color in his cheek. 

“Yes, yes, let’s get this over with.” 

I slid my hand over to him, very gently wrapping my fingers around his legs and back, pressing the ball of my thumb into his chest and torso. Even though his face stayed neutral and he hardly moved at all, I couldn’t help but notice a release of his strained muscles as he was finally able to release all the pressure off of his injury. It’s okay to get help when you’re hurting. I couldn’t keep my brows from knitting together in concern. It pained me that he tried so very hard to be strong and independent. I completely understood where the impulse came from but I hated that he was in pain and toughing it out when I was happy to help. I sat with my hand propping him up for a few moments, wanting nothing more than a closer look,  “May I pick you up?” 

“Yes, fine.” His face was a little pinker than it had been, I was sure of it. Gently, I settled him across the platform of my fingers, his right leg placed carefully along the length of my palm with his heel balanced on my wrist. The ball of my thumb remained in his lap with a looser grip as I drew him up to the level of my eyes. 

He sat there stiffly, not allowing himself the luxury of relaxing fully into my hand. I wished he’d stop being so uptight but now was not the time to fight him on it. Still, as I looked him over, I felt an immediate swell of pride expand my chest and warm my face. I didn’t realize he’d been watching me with equal attention to detail, until he spoke, “What is it, Natalie?” His voice lacked its usual defensive edge. He was genuinely asking. 

“I just think you’re absolutely incredible. You are literally the bravest, most unhinged person I know.” Did his face get a little redder? All he could manage as a response was to roll his eyes, “No, I mean it! You looked at someone over ten times your size and without hesitation were just like, ‘Yeah I can take him’. Who does that?!” The tiniest ghost of a twinge of a smirk uplifted the corner of his crooked little smile. There you are, Alexander, the real you underneath it all. “When I really think about it, I can’t even be mad at you. You are one badass little motherfucker. Don’t ever change. Okay?” I rubbed my thumb across his chest, as he begrudgingly nodded, the smirk cracking into a half smile, while he rested a hand over the bed of my thumb nail. I admit, I felt the blood in my veins pump a little faster, “We can all stand to learn a thing or two from you on how not to take other people’s bullshit.” 

“I hope you plan to take copious notes after all this.” 

“Oh, it’s a must!” 

He cleared his throat and shifted in my hand, sitting himself up a bit straighter, his gaze took a moment to land as he settled, clearly preparing to speak in greater earnest, “I suppose… I feel at least a modicum of remorse… for staining his otherwise high quality sweater.” 

I had to slap my hand over my mouth to keep from cackling out loud, “You’re such a bastard! Of course all you care about is his fashion sense!”

Alexander was smiling too, as he pressed against my thumb, emphatically gesturing to the bedroom far off to his right, “What?! It’s the only redeemable quality about him! Did you expect me to lie for the purpose of overt flattery? Have you met me?”

Just then we heard the opening of a door down the hall, as the man in question began to re-emerge. I stroked the side of the little man’s head with my thumb, as I cocked an eyebrow at him, as if to say “Do you want to be put down?” He nodded brusquely, and I did as I was asked, gently lowering him and tipping my hand so he could find his feet before letting go entirely. 

As the footsteps approached ever nearer, I leaned down and whispered so only Alexander could hear, “You know, if you wanted a sweater like that all you had to do was ask, you didn’t have to destroy his!” 

“Says the woman who still hasn’t made good on her promise to fulfill my modest suit requests.” 

“Three piece Italian suits and silk ties are not modest. Even for someone of your size! I’m saving up, alright? Get off my back!” I prodded him playfully in the chest as he batted at my fingertip. 

In a moment, Charles would be standing before us, and there would begin a new matter as we all awkwardly tried to reset and start over, each much more aware of the others’ feelings on the whole situation. But for now, it was just the little blonde devil and me and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Was it weird that I was kinda excited to watch him lose his shit at us again? Not that I had any intention of provoking him, but it wasn’t far from feasible that we’d inevitably do something to offend him. It just made me proud to watch him unapologetically stand up for himself, even if I got caught in the crossfire. Looking down at him now, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. Had his opinions towards me shifted in that direction at all? Or was I a target for spite and disdain like my friend approaching the table? I didn’t think so. At least, not to the same degree. The way his eyes had softened when we were finally alone, the way he’d asked me to hold him in the most passive aggressive roundabout way possible… I thought deep down in that little stone heart of his was a warm spot for me, even if it was microscopic in size at this point. 

Maybe, just maybe, with a lot of effort I could fan that ember into something bigger. But who knew? There was only so much room in a chest the size of my finger tip. 

[neonfretra]

oughhhh oumblr post machine broke... i have made a post so long and dense that i can no longer even BREATHE her way without getting errors for inability to process post... i can edit other posts fine. i can post posts fine. i asked someone else, different account and device, to try it and its BROKEEEEE. epic highs and lows of text transcriptions of a 15 slide long portion of an essay <3 BTW the full slideshow is 52 mb . of 8 slideshows total. my madness <3

villain monologue below the cut <3

if you ever want to HATE a text editor try managing, editing, writing long form text in it <3 never a more infuriating experience in my LIFE i SWEAR!

a minor infatuation of mine is how tumblr rich text editor will handle different elements (ex. paragraph/regular, header 1, bulleted lists) where if you switch between them in a post frequently you might notice it is incredibly weird (compared to other rich text editors i use)!

when you create a new text block (excluding regular text) and then hit enter, it creates another line of text in the style of the previous text block (excluding headers). but when you hit backspace, instead of reverting to regular text, it deletes the entire line of text. if you want to revert to regular text you actually need to hit enter AGAIN. which i mean is fine but my muscle memory has ISSUE with it LOL

not to mention the fact that you cant layer multiple elements (ex. you cant have a bulleted list embedded into indented text). exception of fonts maybe, i dont use fonts at all, i have them disabled, i cant read them LMAO. i have not used ummm quotes as well

AND it breaks copy+pasting. tumblr disagrees with copy+pasting any text in any formatting besides regular LOL. if you use lists or indented text, you cannot paste anything from the block ANYWHERE within the post. you also cant drag and drop text on desktop and i dont like doing posts on mobile devices so yall on your own in that world. (did yall know the google applications i use dont let you right click -> copy/cut/paste? i dont. i dont know what they broke but they broke it)

AND this isnt even mentioning the fact that sometimes the tumblr text post editor just. lies. LOL? call her HTML the way white space (ex. spaces, blank paragraphs) does NOT matter. i put spaces between bullet points and they are gone. there are inconsistent spacings between text blocks because i copy+paste them and use the different text elements . and then they are gone. i somehow have indented bullet lists??? that i cannot recreate??? and also dont even show up in the public facing post???

AND this is also not even mentionin the fact that its very prone to breaking. like i cannot type into certain lines of text under fairly recreatable situations (IIRC, indented text block, press enter at the start of the text block to make a new block above the existing one, type a character and then delete it to make the new block blank. cant type into it again unless i click off and on again!) or the fact that i straight up cannot edit a post anymore. or the fact that its really common for me to run into errors where it refuses to save at all? or maybe im just stress testin it, im not actually sure how much im puttin into this poor thing? TBF this isnt a 30 image long monstrosity THIS time (which is the image limit on desktop, its 10 on mobile) so it breaks a lot less ^_^ for a copy and paste project. we living it up scrapbook style.

maybe neonfretra is hollerin about nothin. that post is absolutely broke as hell though. ^o^