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astroismypassion · 3 years

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☀️🌞 Sun and houses: where and how we shine the most 🌞☀️

Credit blog: Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

@iamqueen233 asked me the other day in my mailbox if I could write about sun and houses and where, how we shine the most. I thought it was an interesting question so I dedicate a whole post to it! 😘

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 Sun in the 1st house ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

You shine the most in doing exercises, workouts, physical activities. When you are just being your unique self, when you embrace your own individuality, personality, traits and encourage others to do the same. When you don’t beat around the bush. When your are tolerant and patient, yet compromising and in tune with other people in the team as well. When you help other people in the group. When you choose to do whatever you feel like doing with your clothing style.

💋💋 Sun in the 2nd house 💋💋

You shine best when you develop some skills, when you know your values, preferences, likes, dislikes. When you have good spending habits. When you share your possession, talents, skills, life experiences with others and teach them your skills.

🗣🗣 Sun in the 3rd house 🗣🗣

You shine the most in elementary and high school, when you read a book, listen to a podcast, learn a new (verbal) skill, language, connect with neighbours. Your posts on social media must be fire! Or you like to shout out for your friends on your social media. This is another placement that really likes group project or work on something with a team of friends.

🐳🐳 Sun in the 4th house 🐳🐳

I dare to say that your close friends, family, relatives would actually describe you as bossy, stubborn and attention loving! Because these people around you are the ones that are most aware of these traits of yours. Again, similar to Sun in the 10th house avoid boss-ing around your friends and family since it might create resentment in them.

💛💛 Sun in the 5th house 💛💛

You shine best in your own free time, working on whatever interest you and that you’re passionate about. Basically when you escape from responsibilities. You shine in sports, hobbies, dealings with children and love affairs. When you channel your creative energies into whatever project or side hustle.

📚📚 Sun in the 6th house 📚📚

The key with this placement is really daily self improvement. You should pick 6 activities that you practise daily and repeat them. The downside here is that you might also get bored with them after 21 days. Then you should pick new 6 activities. But always come back to the old ones and “rotate” them. So that you create a wheel of daily habits that stabilze you, make you feel at ease, that you don’t procrastinate and don’t become too anxious.

💜💜 Sun in the 7th house 💜💜

The lesson for this placement is to become less vain and selfish, but to learn to be compromising with people, yet still emphatise with people individually so understanding them and their needs on one on one personal level. You shine best when you express concern for others, but still have fulfilling relationships based on mutual reciprocation. Honestly you just really like people giving you genuine compliments, but you try to give them back those as well and suddenly you’re not exchanging only compliments, but you’re in a full on romantic partnership.

♥️♥️ Sun in the 8th house ♥️♥️

You shine best when respect your partner’s values, change career often (or when it’s not dull and monotone), when you let go and you’re emotionally responsible. When you take emotional accountability. When you have sexual self control, but also during sex. When you people watch. When you recognise other people’s gift and you express that in a transparent way. Basically when you see talent in others and express that to them. When you are vulnerable.

⛵️⛵️ Sun in the 9th house ⛵️⛵️

When you have cultural exchange with people from the community, when you try to understand abstract ideas and concepts. When you are devoted to a person or a project on a daily basis. When you do something more risky, yet spontaneous. When you dress up for whenever you are travelling somewhere, visit something foreign (restaurant, place, city) or visit something for the first time. When you inspire other with telling your personal life stories and happening and this is how you also connect with other people (great storyteller!). When you understand the collective thought.

⚓️⚓️ Sun in the 10th house ⚓️⚓️

You shine best when you have a quality relationship with your parents, elderly people, your mentors, those that inspire you to so better. When you have a good relationship with your superior and when you are willing to sacrifice yourself for your OWN self mastery. It’s very important for you to have a good relationship with your mother. You naturally attract recognition from authorities or in the public community. You could be good in politics or voicing your opinion in a public standing. You are attention when you are respectful of others. Authority figures naturally gravitate towards you, because they see themselves in you.

💚💚 Sun in the 11th house 💚💚

Believe it or not, this placement is actually very similar to Sun in the 1st house. They shine the most when the embrace themselves, team up with people and still assert themselves individually. You shine best when you have a side hustle going or an online business. When you take care of younger siblings or cousins, relatives. When you give each person in the family a role. When you protect back people that protected you in the past, especially during childhood.

💖💖 Sun in the 12th house 💖💖

When you create, DIY in your alone time. When you take time off for yourself and recharge your individual needs before helping, mingling with other people. When you treat to separate yourself from the rest of society through film, dance, arts, use of your creativity and imagination. When you try writing poetry, keeping a journal (daily, meditation, gratefulness, planner). When you address your own limitations, frustrations and daily duties responsibilities.

Credit blog: Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

#astrology #sun in the houses #astroismypassion #sun in the 1st house #sun in the 2nd house #sun in the 3rd house #sun in the 4th house #sun in the 5th house #sun in the 6th house #sun in the 7th house #sun in the 8th house #sun in the 9th house #sun in the 10th house #sun in the 11th house #sun in the 12th house #astro community

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hollyethecurious · 2 years

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Does Colin do anything anymore other than attend a random Comic Con or two? I see your pictures, and it’s nice to see his face. But it’s just a reminder that he hasn’t done… anything… in a while. It’s been hard to stay his fan with him showing zero interest in maintaining his career 😔

Hey there, Nonny.

Soooo, I'm gonna be honest. I feel like there's a lot to unpack here, but I'm lacking the energy to do so bc real life kinda has me down right now. So I'm gonna share some thoughts, and what follows are 100% my feelings and opinions on the matter of Colin's career.

So, here goes...

The truth is, we don't know what Colin is or is not doing in regards to his career. We don't know the conversations he has with his agent, we don't know the roles he auditions for, we don't know the projects he may or may not be working on until they are publicly announced, and it has always been that way.

Also, we don't know what his interest level is. We don't know if there are new ventures he wants to branch out into, like more voice acting or the podcast he recently did. We don't know what life has been like for him while he's enjoyed so much time at home in Ireland with not only his immediate family, but his extended one as well. We don't know what role the pandemic has played in any of these areas, either.

I know it is frustrating to be a fan and not have new content to flail over, but to assert that it is because he's doing nothing or has zero interest in his career seems a bit... presumptuous and well... wrong, in my opinion. Because as I said, We. Don't. Know.

And I'm gonna share another opinion that you might not want to hear, and I'm sorry if you came into my inbox hoping for some commiseration, but...

I don't think Colin owes us any answers. I don't think he owes us his time. I don't think he owes us his career choices or social media presence or regular updates on his projects. And I know some people will argue with that, but that's honestly how I feel, despite the joking comments or cheeky tags I might post.

I think Colin is an amazing actor. He's one of my faves, and I HOPE he continues to land roles and be a part of fantastic projects, but ... It's his life. His career. I don't get a say in it. None of us do.

I'll continue to be a fan of his because of the work he HAS done, and I'll support any new projects he becomes a part of, even if I'm not entirely jazzed by them. However, it is valid for fans to grow weary and impatient and choose to focus their fandom energy elsewhere, and that's totally fine as long as they aren't rude or disrespectful about it (and I truly hope no one takes what I've said as rude or disrespectful, bc that is absolutely NOT how it is intended).

Bottom line... I get the frustration. I understand that you miss him, I do, too. I stand with you in the hope that we'll see him on our screens in a new role we can all fall in love with (or love to hate, lol), very, VERY soon. Until then, remember that just because we don't see it, witness it, hear about it, or have concrete knowledge of it, doesn't mean he isn't working. In fact, we know he has been bc he does have a project coming out in August on Apple TV, so that is something we can all look forward to.

P.S. he looked damned good at DCC today and all my love and thanks goes out to those who supplied us with the above mentioned pics!

#curious replies #im tired #and stuck in a depression spiral #so im sorry if this isnt...#a suitable response??#but its the best i got at the moment

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kendrixtermina · 3 years

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Simple Tritype Finding Redux

So remember how a while ago I made that post about how to find your tritype, which was somewhat popular, but also kind of rambly and theoretical?

Apparently the peeps at the Big Hormone Podcast had an episode which did sort of the same thing of looking at the “setting” of each individual center, but they expressed it much more concisely & punchy & much more useful

So, for those who don’t have time to listen to 2 hour of pod-cast (which honestly, includes me too, I should be doing something else rn), here’s a summary:

Heart Center

2 fix

basically more warm compared to other ppl with the same core type

casually touchy-feely, way more likely to hug, put their arms on you etc. (this can be very obvious in cultures where that’s less usual - ie, easier to spot on a North American man than a French woman)

4 fix

more guarded compared to others of same core type

stresses their tastes & preferences (ie, rant about music they really don’t like)

suspicious of hype & overly popular things - some tedecy to be the contrarian voice in a conversation

3 fix

especially if it’s the 2nd fix this can show as being more positive and/or better at self-motivating and a tendency to follow trends or fads

but it’s just as likely to show as just less obvious emotional coloration, or just adaptiveness/ social perceptiveness, or even ‘icyness’ - so you’ll often arrive at this by principle of exclusion.

2 Methods/ ‘cheats’ you can use here:

Typing someone else:

Apparently useful question here is to look at how people introduce themselves, cause the heart fixes represent different parts of identity & it’s all about what someone stresses. For example, the people who will open with something relationship-related (”Hi I’m soandso, I’m a parent”, “I’m a wife”) are probably 2-fixes. If they start out mentioning their job or some kind of accomplishment (”I’m a doctor”, ”I climbed X mountain recently”) they probably have a 3 fix. Whereas a person with 4 fix will not reference anything external but mention their tastes, interests and sentiments. (eg, “Hi, I’m Soandso, I like reading, writing & nerd stuff”, “I live on a farm where I keep peacocks.”)

Typing yourself:

Think of this as a ‘should’ that you feel. A person with a fix doesn’t run around all day helping people (especially if their core type is something very different), but they might feel that they should be a source of help. Someone with a 4 fix might feel they ‘should’ be suspicious of anything that’s too hyped and popular, while someone with a 3 fix might kick themselves for not mentioning some archievement to their friends when this might have impressed them.

Head Center

Basically, just look at what they do when they don’t know something. Like, imagine for example that your little sister has a question and you don’t already know the answer. Do you immediately ask someone, google it or point her to a trusted source? Six. Do you first speculate based on your preexisting knowledge & maybe then google it if you’re not confident? Five. Do you list multiple ideas for what the answer might be or where to find the info? Seven.

6 fix

Checks external sources first, thinks second, may then corroborate the conclusion before accepting it

try not just to get the answer, but a sense of who thinks what. May warn you against other PoVs - this can lead to bringing morals/ politics into it even when it seems out of place.

Other people need to learn to look at sources and ‘cui bono’ questions at some point, six fix ppl often do this immediately & pay attention to sources from the first.

At best you get 15 year olds with scarily excellent bullshit detectors, at worst, middle aged ppl whose opinions are entirely copypasted.

5 fix

Reverse of 6: Always speculates first based on whatever knowledge they already have, and checks sources second, if at all. Internal resources dominate. (eg if the question is about tigers, they might say ”It’s like this in cats, so it might be similar. It fits with how Tigers live in jungles, too”)

Might just make a theory & throw it out there to see what happens

Might bring up a dark/macabre/disturbing topic without realizing. (6: “Are you defending cocaine addicts?” 7: ””Please don’t talk about murder on the table, we’re eating!”)

Tend to look for a point of distinction or underlying principle

7 fix

List multiple ideas or facts rapidfire

while the other two sit down to launch into a treatise, the 7 either keeps the engagement level high by focussing on the more exciting parts, or just moves on.

Cares less about cohesion, hanging on to a point or arriving at a final conclusion so there can be a ‘kaleidoscopic’, multi-perspective quality to the answer

Similar to how the 6 might think about the moral implications, the 7 thinks about the entertainment value & novelty . In the example with the little sister, the 7 fix person would say stuff that the child will find exciting.

Body Center

This where it might be useful to listen to the podcast yourself cause they talked a lot about body language cues that would be much more apparent if you were a core body type or at least a sensor in the mbti. I have no sense of this so I can only relate the parts that I understood

8 fix

gives whatever the core type is a bolder, more unapologetic vibe

tend to “just do stuff” & more confortable doing it without mapping out all the consequences. Think the one person who says which restaurant to go to when no one wants to make a decision or gets bogged down on discussing pros and cons

More likely to get physical. If you’re a withdrawn type & it’s your last fix you might not actually throw down, but you might feel like you want/should if you could get away with it. Or you might just curse like a sailor.

9 fix

generally softer compared to others with same core type. They might be the most assertive & energetic 7w8 or 3w4, but still want to hear the other sides’ point.

have an accepting, nonjudgy vibe

listens/connects more, much more able to be convinced

1 fix

sharper, precise, discerning vibe - feel satisfaction or repulsion in their body as ‘alignment’ or lack thereof

speaks a bit like a teacher or art critic with the intention to improve things

persistent, especially about complaints. Might bring up the thing that bothers them over & over again; may come off picky

I also warmly recomend the tritype roast podcast.

I did indeed get roasted, and so can you~

#enneagram #tritype

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funkymbtifiction · 3 years

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Hello, Charity! I wanted to ask for your opinion.

Would being recognized - even by others - in the unhealthy pattern of a type mean that you are likely that type over others?

I am forever doubting my type between 4 and 9. (Just pointing out that some of my trusted sources are the enneagrammer, their podcast, and David Gray site, so I know they are diametrically different, the over-individuation versus being available for the universe, but somehow I still doubt.)

I know for sure, btw, that I am sp-dom, so I am asking specifically about the sp9 and sp4.

When in a bad place, or even in a regular one, my usual feeling is one of frustration over sp-stuff (my body, my lifestyle, my lack of meaningful experiences or my inability to move towards them, how our apartment isn't decorated the one I envisioned, or the impossibility of achieving such ideal because the structure of the floor apartment). My focus is always placed on the absence, not on what I know I obviously have. My partner has pointed it out this several times, that if I am not having a good day (which can happen, ofc), I am never content, I am never satisfied with anything. I can express myself freely, but most of the times I am a sack of sighs and it is written all over my face and my behaviour. I don't lock that feeling up. I let it be.

However, when in a good place, I am not that fixated on that pattern and, to my partner whom I asked about this because I thought that maybe the strategies of my behaviour could be watched better from the outside, I resemble more to the type 9. I still individuate, but I am much more relaxed. I reacted less to things and I can let go of problems instead of sitting with them. In his words, I am more sweet.

But, then again, if I was a 9, which I am not against or trying to force myself into being a 4, specially a 9-sp, while on an unhealthy mental state, wouldn't it be more like being a shell-without-a-core, lost and numbing myself onto secondary activites (eating, sleeping, playing games, surfing the internet, reading, daydreaming without a movement towards self-development)? Which I don't do. My primary feeling is of palpable negativity and frustration, not narcotized.

Maybe it is obvious, but am I misinterpreting any information? Does being more relaxed and open to flow with the environment (not the people, though) when healthy anti-4? What are your thoughts?

9-4s have a strong push-pull between the 9ish "I need to keep the peace and not tell this person how much I hate the present they just gave me" and "But I really truly hate it and it's not me, and I'm annoyed that they don't KNOW me."

Is more of your attention going to self-individualing every day (all my energy goes into rejecting what isn't me and making sure everyone knows about it, and projecting what IS me, so that I stand out, while thinking I should probably tone it down a little -- but I really can't that much, like a 4), or is it mostly keeping the peace with people, and avoiding conflict, while resenting the fact that you are doing that, because your 4 fix is demanding loudly that you assert more negativity and be more authentic to your tastes?

If you are a pretty easy-going and good-natured person most of the time, who people consider to be pleasant and malleable, you are probably not a core 4. You should also pay attention to your stress behaviors -- 4 moves to 2 and becomes fanatical about getting attention, and 9 moves to 6 and becomes more anxious and inclined to second-guess their decisions.

#question #enneagram #enneagram 4

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barryallenis · 2 years

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Candice did a rare podcast interview today and she did not hold back. SOMETHING happened on set in S1 that 1) turned her off from actually watching the show and 2) made her seriously consider quit. Basically without Jesse on set she would’ve quit a lot sooner

Hi there. I have not listened to it, outside of the short clip Candice posted on her insta story, no.

If that is the case that something happened on set in season 1 (which I believe she has hinted at before in past interviews as well if my memory is not playing tricks on me), that really fucking sucks. And I feel for her because I can barely imagine what it could have been like. Both for my lack of knowledge of what I view as the hellscape that is being in the public eye and working in that industry, but also specifically as a black women, which I cannot relate to. We already know how absolutely vile the public was to her from the very start, and it absolutely infuriates me that a large part of why she stayed (per the clip from instagram and several other interviews) was because of her fans. Because that tells me that, yet again, a black women feels the pressure to withstand so much bullshit because of what it means for ‘black representation’. A weight she should not have to bare nor feel she needs to. She wants to be an inspiration and barrier breaker so that those that come behind her have an easier time at … literally just playing a character on a television show. That’s what this women had to endure racism, hate and toxicity for. A fucking TV show. I respect her for doing it but it’s fucking bullshit that she had to.

ALLLL that being said. I will say, if she didn’t explicitly say WHAT happened (I’m assuming here she didn’t, based off what you said) I don’t think speculation is a great thing to add to the situation. Support definitely is. Sharing that you’re angry anyone or anything would make her feel this way, is. But diving deep into her personal life and timelines, creating narratives, and attacking people based on these theories is just a recipe for disaster. And clearly not what she want’s if she herself wasn’t specific.

We’ll never get all the pieces right. We can’t. We literally weren’t there. So speculation just muddles down the point it seems she’s trying to get across. She was treated poorly for no goddamn reason, and her fans should kick up a storm and be angry, but not to the point where it get’s so personal and assertively and specially speculative it blows back on her. Because it will. It’s her LIFE you’d be speculating about. A women who has said on several occasions she takes her privacy very seriously.

Not trying to say you are doing any of this, anon, sorry to be using your post to word vomit. I’ve gotten several messages regarding this podcast that I don’t plan on answer for many of the reasons listed above. I mean, me asserting any opinion about a piece of content I haven’t listened to is the definition of speculative imo (also just ignorant). So I was kind of using this to speak my peace. Most of this is based off previous knowledge, as well as just my general viewpoints around people and celebs and privacy, so if anything I’ve said was contradicted in her podcast, I own that.

#time vault #sry for word vomit at 1am #feelin a bit like the old days

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amysubmits · 4 years

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I have loved listening to the podcast and reading the blogs. Your story remind me much of myself. I thought it was all about spanking, but have found that I believe it is about the dominance. I am nervous to talk to significant other about this. We have been together for 7 yrs and live together. I am on the fence about bringing it up, I guess I want to know how to know for sure, some tips on bringing it up to him and how can I tell if he is naturally a dom? He is already pretty dominant in bed.

Thank you! Glad you like them. :)

It’s quite a tricky question because there are many types of dominants and many types of D/s. I can tell you some of the things that existed in CD before we intentionally chose D/s, that I now see as his natural dominance...

He always stood up to handle things when times were tough. A medical crisis, our house flooding, our roommate giving us 2 weeks notice that he won’t be resigning the lease with us, a problem with a neighbor, vehicle trouble. Whatever crap got thrown our way, he was always going to step up and take care of things. He’d get my opinion if I had one to give, or let me help if I wanted to. But when something went wrong he was always going to make sure things were taken care of for both of us. So I guess...he valued responsibility, and was happy to take on responsibility for both of us without seeing that as burdensome or like I wasn’t doing my fair share. He wanted to take care of us in those ways. He’s a problem solver who likes being trusted to take care of things.

He always did his best to be aware of my needs and to meet them. He’s kind of a natural caregiver in that way, he wants me to be okay and he notices when I am not. He is just naturally emotionally aware. I grew up around some men who would pretend to not recognize their wife’s distress until they were metaphorically hit over the head with it because they wanted to not get involved unless they were forced to, basically. CD not like that at all, he wants to be emotionally supportive of me, and he wants to maintain a high level of emotional intimacy with me, he wants to really deeply understand me and so on. He doesn’t run from emotional labor.

He never was bothered by my passiveness, softness, shyness, anxiousness, etc. This is personality-specific, not sub-specific. But a lot of people in my life have thought I should be more adventurous, or bolder, or more assertive. CD never saw me NOT being those things as a weakness.

Obviously, this is very specific to our situation in terms of our genders and our sides of the slash and the style of D/s that we are interested in, but we had talked openly about how we liked “old fashioned relationships’ well before we knew what D/s was. I now recognize that the reason we liked some ‘traditional’ things was that they aligned with our interest in D/s in certain ways.

In just an overarching, vague way, he always kinda wore the pants. Not in a super obvious way like...he wasn’t giving me demands or restrictions, he wouldn’t have done those things before D/s because he didn’t have the right to at the time. But I always wanted to please him and I always wanted to let him have his way when I could. And he was more likely to throw out an idea or suggestion first than I was. So more often than not, he’d suggest something and i’d say sure, and so he led in that natural way prior to D/s.

So these are a few of what stands out to me in hindsight as ‘signs’. But because every dominant is different and every relationship is different, these may be totally different from what you may see in your partner and he could still be a dom. Or someone could have all of these traits and not be a dom in the same way that CD is, at least.

I tend to see being naturally dominant and being ‘a dom’ as things that can be slightly different. Some people can be leaders and caregivers within their relationship but have no interest in intentional D/s in terms of making rules or rituals or protocols or assigning specific roles or doing kink. I’ve talked to people who had partners who had what I saw as clear signs of dominance, but were strongly opposed to trying intentional D/s. Or some are open to some areas of intentional D/s like assigning roles/responsibilities or doing rituals or protocols, but are really put-off by the idea of holding their partner accountable. So in my view anyway, it’s not always as black and white as ‘are they dominant or not?” or ‘are they a dom or not?” it can also be about if they are interested in taking on the roles/responsibilities that align well with your type of submission or the style of D/s that you are drawn to. I think that can really only be discovered through talking about it, and then through trying things out, if he’s open to it, of course. Because some things sound better in theory than they do in practice, and some things don’t sound that exciting in concept but they’ll feel great to you in practice. So sometimes I think you just have to learn what works for you through trial and error.

I don’t remember how it was first brought up, for us. At least not in terms of wording or lead-in or anything like that. I think ultimately how you bring it up won’t matter, it’s more about just finding the moment of courage to initiate that conversation. People often seem to assume that they’ll basically ask for D/s and then get told yes or no. So just in case you’re thinking along those lines, I want to say that in my experience, and I think most people's experience, it’s not a single conversation that ends with an answer. It usually takes several conversations to really even pinpoint what your idea of D/s is (because there are lots of misconceptions and stereotypes out there about it), what things you both may be interested in, the basic details of how it might work, finding answers/solutions to concerns (And there likely will be some concerns) and so on. It’s a complex thing that will require lots of communication. So if you bring it up and the conversation ends without a clear answer? I wouldn’t take that as a bad thing. Honestly, if it ended with “Yippee, lets start D/s tomorrow!” that would be a little concerning to me as it would probably be rushing in and not hammering things out enough.

Anyway I hope something in here was helpful. I guess I just want to restate...there are so many styles of dominance that it’s tough to tell you what signs to look for. I think traits like valuing responsibility, being a caregiver, being trustworthy, honest, consistent, enjoying control (but using it in ethical ways), being a natural leader, etc can all be aspects of dominance but you can also have them and not want D/s. Or you can have those traits and be into one type of D/s while the other partner may be interested in a significantly different type of D/s. Or they may think it sounds interesting, but not really get a ‘buzz’ from it once they try it so they may not really be invested in it longterm. Or they may only be curious at first, but one they try it be blown away at how good it feels to them and how much they want it too. There are just so many variables that I think the only way to find out is to talk and give it a try and see how it feels, see what middle ground you guys can come up with that works for you both.

If you want to follow-up later please do. I love hearing how things go. Good luck! :)

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astrology-with-charu · 3 years

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𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐞

𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄

Taurus this is ofcourse your time and your season. Time to be your unique self and reinvent yourself in the way you want to. With Uranus now in your sign till 2026, you are being prompted to live your own truth versus to complying to whats the norm. Wanting to break through the restriction of any past social boundaries that seemingly cage you, you would start this month on a note to not back down from what you now know of yourself. Pluto is empowering your belief in your life path and in your ability to take a leap, even prompting you to take one. It doesn’t want to you to live “small” in any sphere of you life so if your expansive mindset is being made to be “small” in any setting, its pushing to go through rebirth there. We are here to establish our own truth and you certainly start this month pumped to establish yours. Happy Birthday and a very happy & dynamic new season of breakthroughs to all of you.

May 2021 Overview for all signs

𝕂𝕖𝕪 𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕤

𝟚𝟟 𝔸𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝 𝕥𝕠 𝟙𝟙 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝔽𝕦𝕝𝕝 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕡𝕚𝕠 𝟟º𝟘𝟞’

𝟚𝟟 𝔸𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝 : ℙ𝕝𝕦𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝟚𝟞º𝟜𝟠’ ℂ𝕒𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕟

𝟛𝟘 𝔸𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝 : 𝕊𝕦𝕟 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕛𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕥 𝕌𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕦𝕤 𝟙𝟘º𝟜𝟙’ 𝕋𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕦𝕤

𝟙𝟙 𝕄𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕠 𝟚𝟞 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : ℕ𝕖𝕨 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕚𝕟 𝕋𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕦𝕤 𝟚𝟙º𝟙𝟠’

𝟙𝟛 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝕁𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕞𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕠 ℙ𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕖𝕤

𝟙𝟘,𝟙𝟟,𝟛𝟙 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : ℕ𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕙 ℕ𝕠𝕕𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕛𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕥 𝕄𝕖𝕣𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕪, 𝕍𝕖𝕟𝕦𝕤, 𝕊𝕦𝕟 𝕒𝕥 𝟙𝟘º𝟜𝟝’ 𝔾𝕖𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕚

𝟚𝟡 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝕄𝕖𝕣𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕪 𝕘𝕠𝕖𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝕒𝕥 𝟚𝟜º𝟜𝟛’ 𝔾𝕖𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕚

𝟚𝟛 𝕄𝕒𝕪 : 𝕊𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕟 𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝕒𝕥 𝟙𝟛º𝟛𝟙’

𝗗𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀

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Entering the month, there might be an interaction with a partner, a client, a close contact, even a conflict with a critic, a power struggle which can prompt you to restructure your outlook about what you want to do and who you want to be know as or for. For Taurus rising,sun, moon around 7º or April born Taurus sun, it could be a closure or completion or a disclosure in a partnership which can prompt this. The end of April prompts a powerful shift where we transform and even heal through partnerships and others. It might not be a smooth ride but it gets us pumped to make the move. The brush with authority and bosses may not have been walk in the park.

From that place of transformation we are driven to cultivate a new identity. And this might have been in making for past 2-3 years. There is an urge to build, buy, invest, plant a new life. Your normal calm and cool charisma could be tad touchy at start of the month as someone has ruffled feathers. You would assert your needs, your autonomy, your emotions as its time to put yourself first. You are starting a fresh personal cycle on your terms. Time to do something entirely new. And it’s not just what you do, your creative ideas, your looks, your choices will go through a brilliant refresh.

Uranus in Taurus does bring the rebel out in you, you become an agent of change as well as an agent of provocation per the conservatives and traditional. Revel in your unique brilliance and use this month to nurture that bright light that recent events have lit in you even though through friction. Tech, innovation, creative breakthroughs, offbeat projects, ahead of time ideas, different creative choices, unique looks, rebel against whats not fair - are all ways to express this energy. And this does change who are your partners, clients and how you connect one on one with others. The more you try to tell yourself everything is the same, the more stark external expressions of you tell you they are not and will not be.

With Saturn in your house of authority, you could feel you are paying off some sort of karma to authorities, to father figure or to your external identity. Your urge to break free conflicts with these rules and expectations especially for around 11º-13º Taurus rising, sun, moon which is around end April and early May born. This conflict would become louder as month progresses and we move to June. I covered this is details in your 2021 horoscope as its the key theme of breakthrough especially for your sign this year. Do review that as that aspect is activated for the second time, becoming exact on 14th June. Reaching certain peak of your career over this and next year is possible but it would not come without this fight between the old and new. When you reach the peak you want to be sure it’s the right summit you are on.

Saturn Square Uranus 2021 for ♉️

The three chance meetings of 10th, 17th and 31st May that I referenced in part 1 is bringing some sort of fated information on assets, money and skills that become valuable. As you look to reinvent yourself, like a true Taurian you are looking at the financial aspect of it too. There could be some important information in these fated encounters. You would also be driven to find the ways to get more financial abundance, getting more confidence in your skills, looking to cultivate your skills further, looking to become financially independent. In this process it would be helpful to keep in mind that you are being prompted not just to get the ground ready to be independent as Rahu or North Node comes into your sign in 2022 after 19 years, you are also being prompted to release old opinions of others. The thoughts of others and their belief, even their thoughts of you, block you more than you know.

Invest into your skills by taking courses, invest in the assets and you would feel supported in some ways - you might even get guidance from someone experienced on these dates and they are good time to gain support.

Do not become part of someone else’s reality. People’s opinion of what is good for you, is the last thing you want right now. But if there are people who have walked a similar path as you, learn from their practical experiences.

As Mercury would be in shadow post 14th May and would be going retrograde after 29th May in your finances house, it would be best to be careful of investment and documentation with financial underpinning after 14th. They might need review during 29th May to 22nd June period. This could also be a period when some misunderstanding on finances or ego issues could come to surface especially in June and end of month. Words have power and impact - for you financial impact remember that. You might by your own wish might decide to leave some sort of financial support from another as you want that karma to be done.

Month end Saturn retrograde would prompt some structuring changes in your career and relationship with authority and father figure. Healthy boundaries.

Let’s talk of the good news, Jupiter is moving into Pisces on 13th May staying till 28th July and will come for a longer transit in 2022. I spoke of it in details in March, which I will link below but its a fantastic time to grow your big wealth ideas, vision and friend circle. It’s just a preview but I think this would give you some relief from the harshness of the hard aspects that you have been experiencing. This is a great sign and placement of Jupiter and it brings opportunities of expansion in our popularity, social influence, network, friends and wealth from these endeavours.

Jupiter transit for ♉️

If the new moon of 11th May falls on your birthday or 2-3 days around or if you have your rising / sun / moon around 21º Taurus , this could be a very pivotal year for you and new start would have long term support.

In the seemingly benign moments, your new life begins !

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bojokehorseman · 5 years

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The Big BJ Meta

Part One: Analysis of Seasons 1 - 5

So Bojack is a show that is as much about morality and accountability as it is about dealing with existential loneliness and trauma. And bc Boj season six is the first part of an accumulation of a six season journey, we need to recap a little.

[major triggers for alcohol, drugs, parental abuse, sexual abuse and physical abuse]

Season 1 introduces us to this dissatisfied, overly-privileged, cynical narcissist. Boj, in my opinion, is prototypical of literally any male art teacher: a self-proclaimed worldly artist who’s given up on his dreams and tends to take it out on everyone else & self destruct despite his occasional moments of genuine wit. We briefly explore his neglectful childhood and his dysfunctional influence on his TV daughter, Sarah Lynn, that continues to present day.

Diane’s book—which, inexplicably, is clearly not written as a ghostwritten autobio but maybe this breach in contract is bc the penguin editor is so desperate—anyways, boj’s strong negativity to Diane’s book represents not only his self hatred but his inability to accept the way he’s perceived by others. He wants to disassociate from the bad parts of his personality as to avoid their consequences and continue the cycle anew. When Bojack asks Diane if he’s a good person “deep down”, Diane tells him he can only be a good person by doing good things. Looking back at the relationships he’s sabotaged: Herb, Todd, Diane, even Sarah Lynn, this depresses him. However, his tell-all book and his negative worldview are what get him his dream role. The season ends with him signing an autograph at the planetarium, subsequent to watching old Horsin Around DVDs. I suspect he visited the planetarium in an attempt to reconnect w Sarah Lynn (conscious or otherwise), meanwhile the autograph signifies that on a superficial level, he’s on top of the world.

Boj season 2 explores how he tries to “cure” his depression by pushing down his negative feelings and replacing them with new goals, new furniture, new podcasts. But as Kelsey Jennings says, people get stuck in a loop of arrested development when their emotional growth goes unchallenged, exemplified by the fact that Boj finds himself dating the one and only woman on Earth who’s mentally stuck in the eighties due to a twenty-year coma. This aggressive positivity to the point of delusion shows up especially when Bojack is unable to act out serious scenes in secretariat and is more comically exemplified in Princess Carolyn’s relationship to a ten year old in a trench coat.

Boj’s self-help attitude subsides when he receives a call from his emotionally vaulted mother and Herb dies of a peanut allergy. With the realisation that his dream job hasn’t fulfilled him, he seeks meaning in his old crush Charlotte who was once Herb’s beard. The reality that Charlotte’s settled down with a family in New Mexico, thus crushing his domestic fantasy of them living in a cottage in mane, spurs him further into escapism and destructive tendencies. He takes adavange of Charlotte’s teenaged daughter, having displaced his feelings toward Charlotte onto Penny. (Themes of sexual assault are also explored in the Hanky After Dark B plot.) Charlotte kicks him out and Bojack tries to mend his relationship with Todd by rescuing him from Scientologists an improv cult. Bojack then renames the Bojack Horseman Orphanage (funded by his horsin around money) in honour of Herb. The Jogging Baboon tells him, ‘Every day it gets easier. But you gotta do it everyday. That’s the hard part. But it gets easier.’ Despite his inappropriate bender with Penny, Bojack ends the season with small efforts to become a better person, through action rather than superficial notions of “deep down” or self help.

In s3, Boj spends the season promoting a movie he wasn’t actually in. During the award winning silent episode which makes the most use out of the series’ drowning metaphor (water as depression; swimming as the acceptance of accountability and the small daily acts that connect you with people and make life bearable), Bojack’s failed attempt to reconcile with Kelsey for getting her fired leads him instead into rescuing a baby seahorse separated from their father. Boj, however still has not found a sense of meaning in his life as he admits to Jill Pill that he wants to make work that “connects with people” and “lasts” and hopes that an Oscar win will afford him the legacy he craves. Bojack further sabotages his relationship with Todd when he sleeps w Todd’s high school sweetheart, Emily (notably after he’s sabotaged then saved a lesbian wedding). Shenanigans lead him to reminisce with Princess Carolyn, admitting that he loves her but ultimately refusing to be her client. Bojack loses his Oscar then spirals back into yet another season finale depressive episode, once more with Sarah Lynn. After Sarah Lynn dies, Bojack goes along with Ethan’s idea of a spinoff of Horsin Around but eventually leaves, scared he’ll recreate his destructive tendencies with (and possibly kill) his child actor co-star. After Todd burns their bridge, Boj is aimlessly driving his Tesla at suicidal speeds until he notices a group of horses racing in the desert, moved by the authenticity of what Secretariat merely imitates.

Season 4 has Bojack try to reconcile his mother’s trauma with the abuse she made him suffer all while Beatrice isn’t lucid enough to be cognitively present. Hollyhock, as his potential daughter, is symbolically aligned with Penny and Sarah Lynn: young women who faced the consequences of Bojack’s toxicity. This season’s twist, however, introduces the idea that Bojack is a part of a cycle of abuse. Hollyhock is his sister, conceived bc of his father’s affair with the maid. Her abandonment at birth isn’t Bojacks’s fault but rather Butterscotch’s infidelity and Beatrice’s obsession with class and appearances (which is admittedly a v pragmatic move in her point of view). Beatrice’s trauma w food disorder explains her abusive behaviour towards Hollyhock who herself becomes traumatised and physically ill from the diet pills Beatrice hid in Holly’s smoothies. Bojack finds hope in Hollyhock who stands as evidence that his legacy of trauma and abuse isn’t inherent, Hollyhock, however has to deal with the trauma of being secretly drugged.

Season five more explicitly explores themes of sexual abuse, previously only briefly touched upon with Penny and Hank’s characters. Bojack stars as a jaded street smart detective, an uncanny charicature of his own personality. This season has Bojack try in earnest to be sober. In Free Churro, another award winning experimental episode, Bojack nihilistically reflects on his relationship with his mother. With her death, all of his abusers will have gone to the other side, leaving him with the responsibility of continuing or abolishing the abuse cycle. When Boj develops an addiction to painkillers, he spirals down an addiction hole that compromises his relationship w co-star Gina and even his relationship to reality. Bojack physically assaults her onset. Gina decides not to go public to further her career. Diane discovers Bojack’s history with Penny and writes it into the story of Bojack’s show before confronting him about it directly at the premiere. Bojack admits to Diane that he feels victimised by the guilt his abuse causes him, signaling that Boj is still in denial and unable to accept the consequences of his actions. (“Fun” fact Boj hints at what he did to Sharona in this scene) Bojack later consfesses to Diane that he thinks he’s a bad person while Diane accuses him of using black and white morality to avoid his own sense of responsibility because there’s “no such thing as bad people” only “bad actions”. Diane decides that Bojack is a bad influence for her, Bojack admits he doesn’t know how to take responsibility for himself and Diane drives him to rehab.

TL ; DR

Season one was about accepting the dissonance between your self perception and your actions.

Season two asserts that trying to escape from yourself or finding purpose in superficial goals that aren’t oriented toward connection w others is futile. Meaning comes from bridging the gap through small acts of (empathetic) honesty and kindness, as The Jogging Baboon advises.

In season three, Boj tries but is not ultimately able to come to terms with the people he’s hurt, namely Sarah Lynn and Penny. The guilt consumes him and he copes once more through escapism and self-destruction until an epiphany in the form of running horses makes him realise what his life might look like if he was honest with himself.

Season four explores Bojack’s actions in the context of his childhood trauma as well as the trauma of his own abusers: his mother. His sister represents a fallacy in his fatalistic notion that all Horseman dna is toxic and offers him hope.

Season five however comes with the confession that Bojack doesn’t know how to properly take responsibility for his actions, as a celebrity he’s never truly held accountable and is enabled to continue to indulge in escapism and denial. This season marks the worst thing that he’s ever done on screen: choke his co-star. Second to that is how he enabled Sarah Lynn’s addiction, slept w her, and neglected her as her father figure. Finally Bojack tried to sleep with his crush’s seventeen year old daughter after getting her drunk at her own prom. All of which are brought up again in season five but almost never mentioned in season six (Part 1) outside the very beginning and very end. Diane takes Bojack to rehab as his first step toward true self-awareness.

Part Two: here

#abuse m tw #rape m tw #alcoholism tw #Bojack Horseman #bojack horseman season 6 #u #c #meta

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aewriting · 5 years

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Authursday: Tasyfa

For today’s Authursday, I wanted to highlight @tasyfa

Tasyfa has not only produced one of the best long fics in the Roswell NM fandom, but she has also created this entire AU world set in Toronto that explores a sub/dom relationship between Michael and Alex. In preparing this post, I realized that she has actually written 41 fics for the Roswell NM fandom, which is incredible! Quite a lot of range, and the writing is always high quality. For the purposes of this post, I am going to focus on her masterwork, “Through the Violet Glass,” as well as her AU series, “Spinning Circle of Flames.” There will be some spoilers, so if you haven’t read these, go now!

I think we are really lucky, in the Roswell NM fandom, to have a lot of talented writers, including folks that make some excellent longer, novel-length works of fiction. There are a few of these longer works that I read real-time, such as beamirang’s “The Old Astronomer” and myrmidryad’s recent “Shadow Work” (both excellent). For whatever reason, though, I did not discover “Through the Violet Glass” until it was well underway. From reading works in tasyfa’s “Spinning Circle of Flames” series, I was pretty darn sure that I would like it, but I wanted to be able to really sink into it and enjoy it, and that can sometimes be tough to find the time to do with a long fic.

About a month ago, I unexpectedly had to go on a lengthy road trip with only my youngest child (little enough that it wouldn’t really matter what I listened to in the car). I was contemplating what I wanted to hear – podcasts, playlists, audiobooks? And then thought to myself, I wonder if there’s an app that would read a website to me? That would, um, read “Through the Violet Glass” to me? So I downloaded an app called Motoread, and that is how I “read” “Through the Violet Glass!”

II was so impressed with the plot of “TTVG.” I think that, at times, when you’re working from canon (and a fairly limited one, as tasyfa started this work early in the series), you can be somewhat constrained in where you take your plot, but oh my god, there were a few twists here that were SO good and so creative. I remember being in the car and gasping when Alex found out that his father had married Violet, the fourth alien. I also thought that tasyfa’s choice to make Sanders the fifth alien, and to reveal him the way she did, in the midst of Alex’s showdown with his father in the junkyard, was very well done. I always appreciate a twist that is creative but still earned, if that makes sense, and I believe tasyfa really delivered in “Through the Violet Glass.”

As much as "TTVG" is focused on action, adventure, and intrigue, though, at its heart it’s a story about Michael and Alex rebuilding trust with each other and trying to form a real relationship. This is a really good slow burn. Their physical relationship feels very hard fought, and I think tasyfa does a nice job of exploring the impact of Alex’s PTSD, and of Michael’s psychological scars from his upbringing and feelings of isolation and abandonment. There are some beautifully written passages that really stuck with me. I thought Alex and Michael’s initial attempt to help Michael control his powers, which included Alex goading him in some not so nice ways, was well-done, as was the scene in which Michael first puts up a bit of a bubble-like “forcefield” and allows a bottle to shatter over it in Alex’s backyard (and tasyfa is able to work in fragments from the bottle in a meaningful, romantic way). I also loved a scene with Kyle, in which he finally gets Michael to speak about the injury to his hand.

Perhaps some of the best scenes, though, concerned Alex’s relationship with his father and his sexuality. There was a really excellent exchange (Chapter 49) in which Jenna speaks to Alex about his relationship with Michael, and it incorporates an analogy using apples that speaks to the larger issues of homophobia that Alex had to face in his relationship with his father:

“Oh, come on. Look at the people who were here last night. Your oldest friend from the first day of school? Two more from elementary school. Almost everyone else was from high school, which was more than ten years ago, as you just pointed out. That is not a chosen family assembled by a guy who can't commit," she asserted.

"Well, yeah, but those are friendships, not romantic relationships. Apples and oranges."

"No, Captain," her headshake was vehement. "That's Red Delicious and Golden Delicious. Two varieties of apples and they both make good pie. Family."

"They're different for me," Alex disagreed.

"Because someone taught you one variety was rotten and you were too young to know it was a lie."

"You sound very sure of that," he was taken aback by how sure.

"Look, you're not the first gay soldier I've seen struggling to get out from underneath the horseshit their daddy piled on. Your father is an extreme case, and it's all extra complicated because of real live aliens and government conspiracies and God knows what else, but the bottom line is the same damn thing. He convinced you your Golden Delicious apples were really oranges and no good for pie. And he was wrong."

Tasyfa revisits this message during a conversation between Violet and Alex as well, in which Violet is very dismissive about Jesse Manes and his homophobic beliefs, having trouble believing that such hatred for Alex stems from Alex’s sexuality (Chapter 52):

Violet cocked her head. "Why does he hate you, Alex?"

No beating around the bush here, and Alex answered in the same vein, "Because I'm gay."

She stared at him for long minutes, brow furrowed in confusion, and finally asked, "That's it? Because you're gay?"

"That's been his problem since I was 13 years old, yes. I'm sure he's added more reasons over the years, but that's the foundation," Alex said mildly.

The way she snorted in disgust and rolled her eyes was eerily reminiscent of Isobel. "He's even stupider than I thought."

"That isn't a nice thing to say about your husband."

"If I had married him for love, perhaps."

"Fair enough." This ranked up there as one of the strangest conversations Alex had ever had. "Why did you marry him then?"

"Security. Stability. Continuance of life." She shook her head. "All that obsessive idiocy because one of his brood is gay. I thought it was a real reason."

Alex couldn't think of a response. To say that her dismissiveness and scorn for his father's opinion of Alex's sexuality was a shock to hear, didn't begin to cover it.

"This is a personal matter, this gayness. It has no place in a warrior's professional vocabulary," Violet sounded frustrated now as well as scornful. "Men don't get their balls out on the battlefield."

"No, they don't," Alex agreed, maintaining a calm façade when he wanted to burst out laughing. She seemed offended his father had mixed up the personal and the professional.

Like he'd broken some kind of warrior's code.

Again, if you have not read “TTVG,” it is well worth a read (or a listen)! Well-written, well-plotted, with fleshed out supporting characters and a great Michael and Alex romance at its core, as well as a really thoughtful take on some of the psychological aspects of these characters, and the impact of Alex’s relationship with his father.

AND THEN, tasyfa creates a WHOLE different universe in her “Spinning Circle of Flames” series. As I was preparing this post, I tried to think about what stood out to me the most about this series, and it was two things: 1) smut, and 2) world-building.

So, smut first, ha. The premise of this series is that Alex is a Canadian, ex-military musician, and Michael is a happy-go-lucky grad student. They meet at one of Alex’s shows and embark on an extremely intense sexual sub/dom relationship. Tasyfa does an incredible job fleshing out the power dynamics at work here, as well as detailing the conversations that must take place in a relationship like this. This is a topic I don’t know much about, and it honestly felt like an education, just reading this. Some of these scenes, too… my goodness. Sometimes smut can run together, but it doesn’t here. Like, this is a very detailed, thoughtful exploration of a sexual relationship between two complex people, and tasyfa handles it so well. It’s fascinating to see what she does with these familiar characters. Like, they are still Michael and Alex, but with different backgrounds, and thus somewhat different personalities and approaches to life.

I also love the attention to detail and worldbuilding that tasyfa includes in this story. The story is set in Toronto, and I think that the city is described so beautifully here. There’s a real sense of place. Like, I can practically taste the chocolate croissants she writes about, see the intimate Italian restaurant, hear the clatter of the public transit, see the little fairy lights in the bedroom. It’s so rich in these sensory details, and that really adds to this already-sensual story. Just very well-done. I also love what she’s done with the supporting characters! Isobel and Maria are in a relationship, and Kyle shows up as one of Alex’s past lovers (and I truly hope she gives us more background on that relationship in her sequel, because I loved Kyle and Michael’s exchanges and the reaction it provoked in Alex).

All this to say that tasyfa is an extremely talented and creative writer. I am always excited when I see a new work from her! So thank you, tasyfa, for creating such excellent works!

#authursday #tasyfa #fic recommendation #roswell nm #malex

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migleefulmoments · 5 years

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I'm a psych major - i seriously believe that the CC fandom is a cult - the hate they send is cult like mentality, they have something seriously wrong with them. Like mentally. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them got arrested for harassment of C or D or their partners.

Come off anon and chat with me...there is a lot to unpack and I won’t do it publicly.

There is definite some mental health issues for in that fandom. I too keep wondering how far they will push it. If not them, will some follower of theirs do something stupid because they are emboldened by the rhetoric that the ccc leaders spew?

Whether the anons are real or the leaders of the ccc are sending anons to themselves-or it’s a combination of both- is unclear to me, what I do know is that the answers they are giving are consistently and purposefully misleading and often outright lies.

Two recent examples of their outrageous lies;

1. ANON::

“...have u seen naya say on the podcast that C was actually upset about santana's rant to kurt in that episode... because it was so real? it really makes u think that there was for sure one writer thay really did have it out for chris...

ajw720 answered:

That rant was 100% directed at C and it was divined by RM. He is raging with jealousy towards C, he has everything, looks, talent, creativity, and D. And things completely feel apart when RM realized C was genuine competition. You realize Blainofsky was punishment to CC for acting out that past summer? He literally broke up the fan favorite couple on the show during the last season for revenge. And he despises C in particular. And that rant was not aimed at K/urt. It was aimed at C. And I am glad N/aya commented on it, I can’t imagine how she felt being used on that manner.

FACT CHECK:

Had she spent 2 minutes Googling this she would have realized that fact Brad Falchuk-not Ryan Murphy- wrote Jagged Little Tapestry thus invalidating her entire theory.

Everything she said about Ryan Murphy in this paragraph is simply her fantasy. Ryan is a very successful and powerful Hollywood writer, producer, and director. He is also gay and married with young children and Is a powerful LGBQT advocate. His youngest son waged a 2-year battle with Neuroblastoma from 2016-2018. Neuroblastoma is a vicious form of childhood cancer that requires intense treatment. I used to be an pediatric oncology/bone marrow transplant nurse and this cancer and treatment is no joke.

Ryan Murphy is very creative- he created and wrote episodes of Glee, 911, and Nip/Tuck, AHS, ACS, and the upcoming The Politician. Check out his IMDB (X).

He has won numerous awards and nurtured a lot of queer content including Pose which hired both LGBTQ actors and staff making it highly unlikely that he would closet a gay actor.

She suggested Ryan is jealous of Chris because of his “looks” and his relationship with Darren. There is nothing to suggest that Ryan is unhappy in his married, his attracted to much younger or is attracted to Chris and/ Darren. Ryan called his husband, “His rock” in 2018 when talking about their son’s illness.

Abby ignores Ryan’s real life story, instead because it doesn’t fit her fanfiction character profile she created for Ryan.

2. ANON:

“....is it a known fact to the whole fandom that f/etusm/iarren is M/ia ?” (X)

chrisdarebashfulsmiles answered:

Hi, you know, i think (my opinion) that m/iarrens are ignoring purposely this fact. Like.. they have seen everything happening or showed here and decided to say “hey, you know? i don’t care”. Like they do with everything that is not part of the “D is straight” tale.

Let’s say that most of us have an idea about who the minions are (if they exists and i think i can tell you that maybe one is a real person)… but it’s irrelevant.

The account still exists because, and believe me i don’t know how this is possible, the stans who follow that account are more “m/ia stans” (the ones that bother us on our blogs and in blogs dedicated to hate and mock us) than “D stans. Let me tell you one thing: i speak with a good bunch of “m/iarren” that are D stans and we are on the same page, we worry for D. No talk of bullshit with them. Most of them understood that something wasn’t ok and they left their fandom, without becoming part of the cc one. Others are still here but more subtle and still respectful.

And I see why: because they want to understand what is wrong.

Anyway: D’s team gives her stuff, and this is one of the problem.

FACT CHECK:

In truth, there are very few “Mia stans” and a lot of “Darren stans”. The CCCers refuse to listen to what their anons actually say. Instead they pigeon-hole people into categories based on their own needs and they need us to be unreasonable and obsessed with Mia rather than Darren for their self-righteous antics to work.

Nobody that I am aware of is purposefully ignoring credible evidence that Darren is gay. None of us are looking at the “evidence “ and saying “hey, we don’t care”. The fact is that very few people care if Darren is gay or straight and the “evidence” is nonsense. I have yet to year one thing that sounds credible. Anyone else?

I did a very rudimentary look her claim that “The account still exists because, and believe me i don’t know how this is possible, the stans who follow that account are more “m/ia stans” than “D Stans”. I sampled 280 Fetu/sMiarr/en followers:

The vast majority were private accounts aka we cannot say why they are interested in the account.

4 or 0.1% called themselves Mi/arrens

10 or 3.5% listed Kl/aine or Gle/e in their profile

15 or 5.3% listen Darre/n or posted photos of him alone

1 or 0.03% was a Guns ‘N Hoses page DING DING DING we found the Mia Stan.

Darren’s team gives her stuff? What exactly would Darren’s team need to give her? She is his wife. She goes everywhere with him. they own a home and bar together.

Chrisdarebashfulsmiles had a rare moment of honestly when she said “Believe me I don’t know how this is possible”. The truth is. it isn’t possible. it’s all made up.

Abby stuck her nose in to the conversation with this wisdom:

ajw720

And a lot of the stans who refuse to accept it, need M because she is the only thing that makes d straight. And they know as soon as they start to question, they have to face reality

Um, no Abs, Mia is not the only thing that makes Darren straight.

Darren is straight because he is a man who is sexually attracted to women....the very definition of “straight”.

Darren has identified as straight for 9 years.

Your confusion around his sexual orientation is simply your refusal to respect his word because you believe you know more than he does about his own feelings-however that isn’t a valid argument.

His marriage to Mia is a personal decision to build a life with the woman he loves and has been in a relationship with for 9 years or so.

Let’s look at Darren’s own words over the years:

2011 'Glee' Star Darren Criss Comes Out—As A Straight Guy!(X)

"I think it's more empowering to everybody, including myself, if I'm articulate about identifying myself as a straight male playing a gay character," the actor says in the Hollywood issue of Out magazine. "Ultimately, that's more powerful for both communities."

When Criss first got the role of Blaine, he admits that he wanted to deflect questions about his sexual orientation, giving reporters answers like, "It doesn't matter if I'm gay or straight." But he decided that it was better if he was just honest and straightforward. Besides, he explains, he owes a huge part of his identity to gay role models.

2011 “Glee Star Darren Criss Dishes on Kissing Lea Michele & Losing Out To Cory Monteith (X)

I’ve been pretty overt about the fact that I am straight,” Darren told Billy and Kit. “I think it’s an important thing to be explicit about — not for my own sexuality, but just as a general statement that I am comfortable with my sexuality and very comfortable with the fact that I’m playing a strong gay character.”

2013 Cosmo Guy” Darren Criss On Glee’s New Chapter (X)

Q: You're not gay; you just play gay on TV. Do you ever feel the need to assert your heterosexuality?

A: No. I know who I am. I feel bad for guys who have to flex their muscles. But hey, if that's the way to make yourself feel comfortable as a man—as long as it isn't antagonizing anybody—go for it. I'm okay with your getting a Miata to feel like a dude; just don't be a dick about it.

Darren Criss Will No Longer Play Gay Characters (X)

Darren Criss has decided that he will no longer play gay characters. Why? Because he doesn’t want to be a straight actor taking potential roles from actors who actually identify as gay, he said in a recent interview with Bustle.

“There are certain [queer] roles that I’ll see that are just wonderful,” he explained. “But I want to make sure I won’t be another straight boy taking a gay man’s role.”

2018 Darren Criss on Playing Serial Killer Andrew Cunanan in ACS: Versace and Passing as White (X)

You’ve also played a lot of gay and queer characters. Has playing these parts informed how you think about your sexuality or gender? That’s a great question. God, we need like an hour. Sure, yes. Absolutely. It definitely has. I think being queer in general evokes more self-questioning than somebody who’s cisgender straight, because you really have to explore a lot of things about yourself that are meeting resistance on conventional social levels. So you have to go, “Okay, cool. Is this really how I feel?” There are questions that arise within yourself that doesn’t have to happen if you live in a hetero-normative universe. So in that sense, I think the journey of questioning oneself, which everybody does anyway — and should do— I admire that narrative. Even though I am not gay myself, or queer, I am a storyteller, and I love and appreciate the strength of character it takes for someone to get through that, whether it was difficult or not. I’ve been very blessed in my career with being allowed in the gay community. Again, as a cisgendered straight dude, that’s not lost on me. I don’t take that for granted. It’s been such a huge part of my life, even pre-Glee. I come from San Francisco doing theater, man. Like, I was raised by gay men. Not literally at home, but you know, as a young kid doing theater, my friends were these men and women in their 20s, driving me home and getting me dinner. These were my adult figures in my life, so unconsciously I’ve always had such affection for the life, whatever that means. So I guess inhabiting a gay voice is important to me because it’s a voice that I find inspiring.

These are just two of the many lies the cc fandom tell their followers in order to manipulate them into believing the fantasies that means much to them.

#cc #ccer #ccers #cc family #cc blog #ccc #CrissColfer Cult #cc fandom #crisscolfer #darren criss #mia swier #Ryan Murphy #Darren is straight

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sophieakatz · 5 years

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Thursday Thoughts: “They” Is Not A Neutral Word

My mother sent me a link to a Slate podcast interview with Farhad Manjoo, a New York Times op-ed writer who recently began going by “they/them” pronouns. In the interview, Manjoo states that they are a cisgender man, but they no longer want to be referred to with “he/him” pronouns. They talk about the negative impact that forced gendering has on people – citing their young daughter’s stubborn belief that presidents must be men – and posits that everyone should be referred to as “they” instead of as “he” or “she.”

Manjoo’s idea is initially intriguing. As a society, we slap gender onto our children right away. When a child is born, the first question anyone asks the parent is, “Is it a boy or a girl?” And as innocuous as this may seem, a lot of baggage comes along with this early labeling. Studies show that adults will treat a baby differently if they are told that the baby is a boy than if they are told that the baby is a girl – describing the same baby behavior as “angry” if they think it’s a boy or “happy” if they think it’s a girl, and allowing supposedly-boy babies to take greater risks than supposedly-girl babies. Adults don’t realize that they’re treating the babies differently based on their assumptions, but they are.

Additionally, cross-analyses of studies of the human brain indicate that there is no significant difference between male babies’ brains and female babies’ brains – but there are significant differences between adult male brains and adult female brains. Along the way, the way the children are treated changes them, and Manjoo’s anecdote about his daughter’s early political opinions shows one of the negative results of this differential treatment.

In a world where we didn’t really care about gender at all, where we didn’t tell a baby right from day one the kind of person that they should be, perhaps everyone would be truly free to explore our own gender and figure out our personalities without the impact of stereotypes. If we didn’t split up sports into “men” and “women” categories, and instead had everyone compete based on physical ability, then athletes like Caster Semenya would not be mistreated by the highly problematic sports institution of “sex testing.” We could move on into a world that cares more about individuals than categories. The idea is appealing.

What gives me pause is Manjoo’s assertion that the “just, rational, inclusive” thing to do here is for everyone to go by “they.” Manjoo seems to think that the “they” pronoun is not only a gender-neutral pronoun, but also a completely neutral concept. They also seem to see nothing wrong with a cisgender man telling other people what pronouns to use.

It troubled me that this podcast did not have any voices from the transgender community contributing to the conversation. It further troubles me how difficult it was to sift through the Google results of cisgender people arguing over whether singular “they” is “grammatically correct” (language changes based on the needs of the speaking society, and is not forever beholden to the rules of the past – deal with it) and find a non-cisgender writer commenting on the deeper moral issue here. It isn’t surprising to me that the loudest voices in this conversation about pronouns are people who have never struggled to get other people to use their proper pronouns, because privilege comes with a platform, but that doesn’t make it right.

I finally found Brian Fabry Dorsam, an agender writer. Where Manjoo claims that gender is a cause of “confusion, anxiety, and grief,” Dorsam points out that gender itself is not the cause of these negative things. Misgendering is.

When someone refers to Dorsam as “they,” it is not a neutral statement. For Dorsam, “they” is an acknowledgement of their pronouns, of their identity, of the way they want the world to see them. It is an affirmation, a positive act, a specific act.

Manjoo may not care about their gender – again, they say that they are still a cisgender man, and that they do not mind being called “he” – but Dorsam does, and so does an entire world of transgender people. Manjoo has never had to struggle to get people to take them and their gender seriously. People have always looked at Manjoo and assumed their gender correctly. Perhaps that is why Manjoo thinks that it is no big deal to give up their pronouns, and why they think that everyone should go by the same pronouns.

Manjoo’s mistake is assuming that treating everyone “the same” is the same as being “inclusive.”

If we were to take Manjoo’s advice and slap the same pronoun onto everyone, then we would be treating everyone “the same.” But if you call a transgender man who uses “he/him” pronouns “they,” you are not making a neutral statement. You are saying, “I do not recognize you as ‘he.’ I will not call you what you want to be called. I know better than you what pronouns you should use.”

This is not being inclusive. This is not treating someone with respect. This is being oppressive.

“Nothing is inclusive when it is forced,” says Dorsam. “True inclusivity is the recognition of each individual’s humanity on their own terms. Anything else is erasure.”

Dorsam suggests – and I agree – that there are two things that we must do instead.

First, we must do everything we can to raise our children in a gender-neutral manner. This means recognizing our subconscious biases about gender and putting an active effort into providing our children with access to all kinds of clothing, toys, stories, and role models. This will allow them to develop their own ideas about who they are.

Second, we must stop assuming other people’s pronouns. Instead, when we meet someone, we should ask for the person’s pronouns.

“Hi, I’m Sophie! My pronouns are she/her. How about you?”

It can be as simple as that. “What are your pronouns?” or “May I please have your pronouns of reference?” are other ways to phrase the question. You can also ask a mutual friend about someone’s pronouns, if you don’t yet feel comfortable asking the person directly.

If you do not know someone’s pronouns, it’s okay to use a gender-neutral term – such as “they,” “my friend,” or the person’s name – until you learn the proper pronouns. Once you do know the person’s pronouns, you must use those pronouns.

While chatting with my mother about the podcast and the surrounding issue, she pointed out that having everyone use “they” is the easy way out. Treating everyone the same, she said, is “less work than to care about individuals.”

She’s right. This takes work. Respect and inclusivity always take work. Manjoo is encouraging the easy way out, the way of erasure, the way that lets them feel above the “gender problem” while in reality they are causing more discomfort for people who face a daily struggle to have their genders taken seriously.

I think it’s worth the effort.

#they #pronouns #agender #nonbinary #transgender #gender neutral #farhad manjoo #thursday thoughts #nonfiction #social justice #psychology #neuroscience #gender #inclusivity #respect

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lightofsveta · 3 years

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40 top rated self improvement podcasts in 2021

Self-improvement podcasts are an efficient and handy method to make positive changes. I have gathered numerous podcasts in this post, focusing on developing oneself and how to view life in a more positive manner. Whenever you need or want to, you may listen to it. There is an infinite quantity of stuff to listen to.

1.The Happiness Lab

The Happiness Lab's host, Dr. Laurie Santos, is a Yale Professor of Psychology. Although many of her episodes are aimed at improving the mental health of college students, her lectures on stress are relevant to anybody involved in the rat race known as society. The tone of the show, which is occasionally evocative of a TED Talk, is akin to that of the much-missed The Cut on Tuesdays. Dr. Santos understands how to deliver an enthralling speech. She offers a full tool kit in a style that will appeal to people who are skeptical of other types of "New Age" thinking, making ideas like meditation accessible to those who need it the most.

2.Life Kit

NPR's Life Kit series is important self-help listening, with a no-frills approach focused only on tried-and-true counsel. The podcast covers a wide range of subjects, from how to talk to kids about our tumultuous news cycle to how to find a mentor or get better sleep. I discovered Life Kit while waiting for the proper opportunity to inform my then-manager that I was leaving my job — and the country — in a couple of weeks. Timing was everything: if I started too soon, I could miss out on valuable training; if I started too late, I wouldn't be able to seamlessly transfer my successor. Procrastination web-surfing led to Life Kit's episode "Want to Quit Your Job? Here's How to Do It Properly" on my radar.

3.The Rich Roll Podcast

Rich Roll's commitment to long-distance running may be reflected in the speed and consistency with which he produces his podcasts, several of which are over two hours long. Roll, a 53-year-old plant-based ultramarathon runner, just hit the 500-episode milestone on his famous podcast. Roll provides a forum for scientists, athletes, and thinking leaders to discuss their perspectives in a conversational environment that strikes a mix between casual and rigorous. Roll is a fantastic interviewer, putting his guests at ease but never being afraid to challenge their opinions.

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4.Under the Skin with Russell Brand

Russell Brand’s development from promiscuous addict to spiritual guru is almost too bizarre to believe. His personal evolution was documented quite publicly, and it is perhaps because of this exposure that thousands have followed him into this new realm of “consciousness.” His experiences inform his discussions on the show, which feel intuitive and provoking in a way that appeals even to those who aren’t a fan of his political ventures. His recent conversation with Brené Brown is one of his best, the flow of their discussion revealing new elements to two personalities we thought we had figured out.

5.H.E.R Space

Hosted by Dr. Dominique Broussard and Terri Lomax, H.E.R Space intends to give women of color a resource to inspire them through conversation. An acronym for Healing, Empowerment, and Resilience, H.E.R addresses universal issues, such as one’s life purpose, through a lens of a particular experience. It’s a valuable and refreshing approach, as these existential topics often aren’t discussed alongside the nuances of gender or race. Broussard, who is a psychologist, and Lomax, who is a motivational speaker, make for an effective hosting duo. Their subjects range from the practical, such as the importance of assertiveness, to the magic of manifesting your dreams and goals. Listening to their weekly episodes feels like having a coffee with two highly successful friends, and I defy you to leave uninspired.

6.How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Elizabeth Day’s How to Fail explores self-improvement through her interviewees’ worst moments, asking us to find lessons in our challenges. Her attempts to humanize the rich and successful work for the most part, although many of her guests overlook the benefits they’ve received coming from a privileged background. But the show offers an alternative look at career development, with Day’s experience in media giving it substance. Whenever I ask friends to recommend self-help podcasts, How to Fail is invariably mentioned. With an unexpected guest list and an approach that isn’t focused on self-aggrandizement, How to Fail’s success should come as no surprise.

7.Feel Better, Live More with Dr. Chatterjee

Dr. Rangan Chatterjee broke into the mainstream following the success of his bestselling books on stress and nutrition. What makes him effective as a podcaster is not merely his eloquence, but also his softer approach to interviewing. Where other hosts dictate into the microphone, Chatterjee questions everything, facilitating discussions with a unique mixture of scientific skepticism and New Age optimism. This style makes the topics he covers accessible to those at the beginning of their health journey, yet the discussions contain a depth that will attract even self-help veterans as well.

8.Routines & Ruts

If you’re the sort of person who looks for life inspiration by scrolling through Instagram, then Routines & Ruts will speak to you on an aesthetic level. But don’t let its cutesy imagery fool you; there is much of concrete value in this new self-help podcast. Host Madeleine Dore is the woman behind Extraordinary Routines, an interview project examining the everyday patterns of the creatively-inspired. On her website, Dore conducts experiments designed to test out concepts like “digital detoxing,” but her podcast is a platform to broadcast the conversations she has with writers, artists, and designers. It is a well-executed concept that is original enough to make the dull reality of other people’s daily routines intriguing. Dore acknowledges that different techniques work for different people.

9.Help Me Be Me

After listening to too many self improvement podcasts, you may find yourself disillusioned by the advice — because, let’s be real, not all of us feel will better after taking a cold shower. Help Me Be Me, a self-help podcast that doesn’t make unrealistic promises, knows how you feel. With over 150 episodes on topics like tackling shame and overcoming loneliness, Help Me Be Me believes that feeling overwhelmed by self-help advice can be alienating and risks driving you even further from the life changes you want to make. The show’s host, author Sarah May B., isn’t going to flatter your ego. In a recent episode on journaling, she tells us: “We all kind of know, deep down, when we’re resisting something, we’re resisting it because we already know the answer — and we don’t like it.” May B. pairs her opinions with tried and tested methods for dealing with feelings of sadness, stress, or lethargy. With talk of “accessing your truth” and cultivating “self-forgiveness,” Help Me Be Me might sound like those other self-help podcasts, but below the surface, the show is a toolkit of well-intentioned, gimmick-free advice.

10.For Procrastination

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…If that’s the tune that plays in your head when trying to complete a work, school, or home project, then you might be dealing with a bout of procrastination. Check out one of these podcasts to see if you can learn some new tricks that will help keep you on-track.

11.The Joy of Procrastination

What if procrastination could be reframed as a good trait that would allow you to accomplish more in life? That's precisely what Dean Jackson and Dan Sullivan aim for when they produce The Joy of Procrastination podcast. Jackson and Sullivan assist listeners in developing strategies for utilizing procrastination in a constructive manner by eliminating the guilt associated with procrastinating.

12.Beyond the To-Do List

If procrastination is keeping you from being productive, then Beyond the To-Do List is for you. Host, Erik Fisher talks with guests on all aspects of productivity in order to reach the end goal of living a meaningful life. In each episode, he takes a deep dive into why we are not meeting our goals at work and life and how we can implement productivity strategies to get unstuck and move forward.

13.For Anxiety or Depression

Anxiety and depression are the two most common mental health conditions in the United States, with anxiety impacting more than 40 million adults each year. Despite the sheer number of people living with mental health issues, it’s not uncommon for many of us to feel isolated and alone. To help feel more connected and less alone, consider listening to one of these self-help podcasts.

14.The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast

Dr. Robert Duff, a psychologist and the presenter of the Hardcore Self-Help Podcast, knows a thing or two about living with and treating mental health issues. He also knows how to address concerns regarding anxiety, depression, relationships, sex, perfectionism, PTSD, eating disorders, and a variety of other issues without making listeners decipher all the psychobabble and medical jargon. You can also depend on a weekly rendezvous with Duff the Psych because he goes live every Thursday.

15.Not Another Anxiety Show

“A podcast for all,” is how host Kelli Walker describes Not Another Anxiety Show. While not a mental health expert herself, Walker does an excellent job of interviewing psychologists, doctors, and other experts to give listeners guidance and practical tips on managing the day-to-day struggles that come with living with all ends of the anxiety spectrum.

16.For Eating Disorders

If you or someone you love is struggling with anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, body dysmorphic disorder, binge eating disorder, or any other specified or unspecified eating disorder, finding support and guidance is key to the recovery process. While these podcasts are not intended to take the place of therapy or any other medical interventions, they can provide support and encouragement as you work through the recovery process.

17.The Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast

Licensed psychologist Dr. Janean Anderson not only knows how to treat eating disorders, but she also knows firsthand what it’s like to live with and recover from anorexia. Twice a month, she hosts The Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast, where she covers the psychology of eating disorders, what the recovery process looks like, and how the cultural context of eating disorders impacts recovery. Through personal stories and insight from expert guests, Anderson helps listeners unpack and begin to understand the seriousness and complexity of eating disorders.

18.The Recovery Warrior Show

Think of The Recovery Warrior Show as your monthly dose of motivation and inspiration to help guide you through the recovery process from an eating disorder. Host Jessica Flint interviews eating disorder recovery warriors and treatment experts to get their take on how you can begin to heal your relationship with food and your body.

19.For Grieving

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but sometimes when you’re in the middle of tragedy, it can be downright challenging to put one foot in front of the other. Finding solace and support with people who understand what you’re going through is often one of the best ways to cope. If you need connection, check out these two podcasts dedicated to grieving.

20.Terrible, Thanks for Asking

Nora McInerny shares her personal stories of loss, and there are several, along with countless stories from others in her podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking. Each episode, McInerny interviews guests and explores issues around emotions, trauma, loss, mental health, and finding community, hope, and happiness after grieving.

21.Grief Out Loud

Grief Out Loud tackles the challenges many people face when discussing grief with others. Hosted by Jana DeCristofaro, this podcast comes from The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families, which specializes in grief and loss. Through expert tips from bereavement professionals and personal stories from the real people she interviews, DeCristofaro brings awareness to the importance of talking about grief.

22.For Making a Major Life Change

Making a major life change can be both exciting and stressful — and often at the same time. The good news? We’ve all waded through new territory and come out on the other side. That’s why these podcasts on major life changes are so inspiring.

23.What It Takes

We all know people that have “made it” in life, despite obstacles or major changes that might have prevented them from achieving their goals. What most of these people have in common is a desire to tackle major life changes with the mindset that growth will occur regardless of the outcome. What It Takes shares stories of perseverance from some of the most famous visionaries and leaders of all time.

24.The Tony Robbins Podcast

“Why live an ordinary life, when you can live an extraordinary one?” This is undoubtedly the most famous line from life and business strategist Tony Robbins. It’s also the foundation from which he has built The Tony Robbins Podcast, a weekly show that tackles major life changes related to business, health, finances, relationships, and more. Through interviews and stories from some of the most influential people in the world, Robbins gives listeners proven strategies and tactics for how to help live your best life.

25.For Forming New Habits

Breaking old habits and forming new ones can be challenging, especially if you’re not sure where to start. The good news is, you’re not alone. These podcasts will help you feel inspired to dive in and get things done.

26.The Habit Coach

If you need encouragement to make permanent changes in your life, then The Habit Coach With Ashdin Doctor is for you. Each episode is centered around tips and motivation that encourage you to create new habits that impact your daily life. Host Ashdin Doctor covers topics like nutrition, fitness, health, sleep, and productivity. And the best part? The majority of the episodes are less than 10-minutes long.

27.Tiny Leaps, Big Changes

Forming a new habit takes time. It also requires tiny leaps along the way, and no one knows that better than the host of Tiny Leaps, Big Changes, Gregg Clunis. This personal development podcast dives deep into the most common daily behaviors and looks at how those behaviors determine results, both positive and negative.

28.For Weight Control

When it comes to weight loss, it’s easy to get bombarded by the massive amount of information available at your fingertips. And with so many claims of fast fat loss and quick results, it can be challenging to find the truth and the motivation to lose weight and keep it off. That’s where podcasts come in to play.

29.Food Heaven

It takes both diet and exercise to lose weight and keep it off. Unfortunately, it’s the diet part of the equation many of us struggle with. The good news? Each Wednesday, you can get the most up-to-date information about all things food, health, and nutrition on the Food Heaven podcast. Co-hosts Wendy and Jess are both registered dietitians with master’s degrees in nutrition, and they are also BFFs who share a passion for helping people live a healthier life.

30.Cut the Fat

Cut the Fat podcast delivers science-based strategies and facts about weight loss along with a message of hope and motivation to help listeners find their own formula for weight loss. Co-hosts Dr. Ray Hinish, a pharmacist, and Blythe Wagner, a personal trainer, break down the complex and often conflicting information about fitness, fat loss, and wellbeing.

31.For Coping With Addiction Whether you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, finding ways to cope is a critical part of the recovery process. Podcasts can be a valuable tool to help you learn how to identify addiction issues, ask for help, find support, and connect with others during your recovery process.

32.Recovery Unscripted Recovery Unscripted, a podcast powered by Foundations Recovery Network, takes a deep dive into the most complex topics related to addiction and recovery. Through guest interviews with some of the most influential figures, like Glennon Doyle and Herschel Walker, and expert advice from clinicians, host David Condos takes listeners through the ins and outs of addiction treatment, mental health care, and recovery.

33.That Sober Guy When Shane Ramer got sober in 2013, he decided to share his story, along with many others, on his podcast, That Sober Guy. Relatable, real, and raw, Ramer gives listeners a glimpse into the world of addiction, alcoholism, recovery, and so much more. While his focus is on the person coping with or recovering from addiction, he also provides family and friends a place to get information, tips, and support.

34.For Improving Relationships We can all use a few tips and tricks to help improve the relationships in our life. From suggestions to help you get out of a relationship rut to tips on keeping the lines of communication free-flowing with your boss or co-workers, tuning in to one of these podcasts can help improve your relationships both in love and life.

35.Where Should We Begin When you don’t have time to go to couples counseling, why not bring the therapist to you? Where Should We Begin, the brainchild of relationship therapist Esther Perel, tackles complex issues many of us face with our partner including sexlessness, infertility, communication problems, infidelity, trauma, regret, roles, and so much more. And the best part? Each podcast features a different couple, so listeners get to be a part of a private therapy session as the couple shares the intimate details of their relationship.

36.Savage Lovecast When it comes to talking about sex, Dan Savage leaves nothing off the table. And we mean nothing! In his long-running, incredibly popular podcast, Savage Lovecast, Savage, answers the most intimate questions about love, sex, and relationships. Plus, listeners can call in their most-burning questions for Dan to answer in a later podcast.

37.For Spiritual Growth Spiritual growth is a journey unique to each of us. While each path may look different, connecting with your inner soul can help you find meaning and purpose in life. Discovering what is possible by working from within is the focus of these two podcasts about spiritual growth and self-discovery.

38.The Chasing Joy Podcast When Georgie Morley talks, people listen. Through her own struggles with an eating disorder, depression, and bipolar ll, Morley guides listeners as they take a look at their own spirituality on The Chasing Joy Podcast. She explores a new topic each week related to spirituality, wellness, and personal growth. Her hope? That you leave each episode feeling more joyful, energetic, and focused on your journey.

39.Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations If you need a weekly dose of inspiration and spiritual awakening, then Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations podcast is for you. With guests like spiritual pioneer Eckhart Tolle, Father Richard Rohr, Gretchen Rubin, and Brené Brown, Oprah takes listeners on a unique and purposeful journey of spiritual growth.

40.Design Your Dream Life

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Design Your Dream Life is all about the journey we all take in trying to attain fulfillment and contentment in our lives and careers.

Hosted by renowned personal growth writer and life coach Natalie Bacon, the podcast is both uplifting and inspiring to listen to.

After turning her back from a successful career in finance and law, Bacon transformed herself into one of the country’s premier life coaches; and helps women realize and reach their greatest life goals.

If you want a podcast that can help you change your mindset for the better, teaches you how to persevere through challenges, while allowing you to attain financial freedom doing the things you love, then Design Your Dream Life is a must-listen.

41.Bulletproof Radio

Dave Asprey is all about “biohacking” things that take a lifetime to do.

Personally referring to himself as a “biohacker” Asprey is a world-class public speaker, a best selling author, and the creator of Bulletproof Nutrition.

The concept behind Bulletproof Radio is to combine all of Asprey’s in-depth work towards hacking human biology for the purpose of achieving the apex of good health.

Each episode of Bulletproof Radio is an exploration of the question “What are the simplest things you can do to be better at everything?”

And in each show; Asprey tries to answer the question using the opinions and findings of experts around the world.

If you are the type of person that is health-conscious; this is one of those self-improvement podcasts that will definitely pique your interest.

A must-listen for anyone who wants to “upgrade” their life, mind, and body.

42.Optimal Living Daily

With a step-by-step approach to personal growth and development, host Justin Malik takes his listeners on an inspirational, motivational, and educational journey.

Listening to Justin Malik is educational, motivational, and inspiring.

His Optimal Living Daily podcast is a treasure trove of developmental and personal growth teachings.

And unlike some of his peers, Malik presents all of this in a way that is very easy to understand and apply.

Episodes revolve around topics like strength training, productivity, and minimalism to name a few.

With each episode only lasting around 10 minutes; it is quite surprising how Malik presents arguments in an enlightening manner.

43.Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, is on a mission. And that is to discover the solution to a question that many of us face on a daily basis: "How can we be happier?"

Happier with Gretchen Rubin is a book in which the renowned author offers her expertise and ideas on how and what she considers to be pure "happy."

Listening to her program, it is clear that Rubin is happy and pleased with her current situation.

And after a few episodes, you'll understand that all she wants is for you to be happy as well.

44.The Tony Robbins Podcast

A name that needs no introduction. The Tony Robbins Podcast is nothing more but an audio manifestation of the teachings and philosophy of one; if not the most recognizable name in the self-help industry around the world.

In typical Tony Robbins fashion, each episode is a deep dive into practical teachings about relationships, health, finance, and business.

With famous people like Wayne Gretzky, Serena Williams, and Bill Clinton singing his praises, it is no wonder that The Tony Robbins Podcast has amassed a very huge following.

If I was asked to personally pick and recommend one from all the self improvement podcasts out there, this has to be it.

45.Kwik Brain Podcast

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If you had the chance to be able to be really good at learning something; what would you choose?

Would you like to be great at learning Math, Languages, or maybe people’s personalities?

What about being ridiculously good at “learning”? Would that be something you would be interested in?

This is what Kwik Brain Podcast is all about; “meta-learning” or being good at “learning how to learn”.

Jim Kwik has established himself as an authority in this field. He has trained numerous company CEO’s and even played the role of consultant for some of the cast of the movie Dr. Strange.

If the idea of meta-learning is something that you’re curious about; I suggest you give the Kwik Brain Podcast a listen.

46.Unlocking Us

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Unlocking Us revolves around topics of vulnerability and shame to name a few.

Conceived and hosted by Brené Brown, the #1 New York Times bestselling author talks about her 20 years of research and experience with human psychology in a way that is unpolished, raw, and honest.

As far as self improvement podcasts go; Unlocking Us takes on a different route and forces its listener to reflect on the core of what does it actually means to be human.

The idea is that by being uncomfortable, realizations unfiltered, thus more honest.

I admit that the approach is not for everyone. But it is definitely refreshing and quite interesting.

47.Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu

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The Impact Theory podcasts revolve around the question of what are the secrets to success.

Hosted by co-founder of Quest Nutrition and globally known serial entrepreneur Tom Bilyeu; Impact Theory is all about Bilyeu discussing his philosophies and secrets to attaining success.

With the reputation Bilyeu has, it is no wonder as to why his podcast has played host to other notable industry names such as Vishen Lakhiani, Jim Kwik, and Peter Diamandis.

Each episode presents a diverse spread of methodologies and teachings around how to reach the pinnacle of success.

This is one of a handful of self improvement podcasts that can really keep you glued; and left wanting for more.

48.The Good Life Project

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The Good Life Project by Jonathan Fields takes its listeners on an explorative journey into real-world approaches on how to live a much better and fulfilling life.

With different guest teachers on each episode, Fields and his guests present real-world-tested systems that inject better meaning; and more love and connection into a person’s daily life.

And these guests are not your everyday people as well.

From the author of The 4-hour Workweek and Tools of the Titans, Tim Ferriss to professor and Buddhist philosopher Robert Thurman; each guest on the show provides a unique insight into personal development.

A great podcast to listen to for those that are looking for self improvement podcasts with a spiritual component to it.

49.The Lively Show

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Hosted by Jessica Lively, the podcast’s claim to fame is its rating by Inc. Magazine as the “#1 Podcast That All Female Entrepreneurs Should Listen To”.

Lively, a former business owner turned life coach, inspires, and uplifts her listeners to move away from a ‘hustle’ based mindset; teaching them to find balance between life and work.

Though self improvement podcasts are seen by many as nothing more than emotional porn wrapped in spirituality; Lively presents talking points that can actually make skeptics second guess their stand on things.

The Lively Show is intriguing as it is motivating.

And after listening to a few episodes; I’m certain that your general approach to life will be much clearer and with a more profound intent.

50.School of Greatness with Lewis Howes

The School of Greatness podcast, hosted by former pro athlete, lifestyle entrepreneur, world record holder, and New York Times bestselling book Lewis Howes, seeks to answer the question, "what makes individuals great?"

Howes attempts to discover a solution to the issue by engaging in thought-provoking talks with guests about how to demonstrate.

Each episode is a rich mine of philosophical information and enlightenment, featuring important thought leaders, world-class athletes, and forward-thinking business executives.

This is one of those self-improvement podcasts that not only helps you grow as a person but also feeds your creativity.

Anyway, that's my list of self-improvement podcasts.

I'm sure there are still a lot of things out there that I'm not aware of. So, if you think one of them should be in one of our future lists, please include a link to it in the cement area below.

#self-improvement #personal growth

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transjoyblog · 4 years

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6 Personal Values That Will Hurt Your Business

Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

Everyone has their own set of personal values by which they live their life. These can be consciously chosen, or be created by default. Usually, everyone has some combination of chosen, and default values and beliefs, but no matter how you came to them, every single one of your values should be examined and judged as to how it supports your goals, or wellbeing. Anyone who has adopted this practice of active self-reflection has found some values to be incongruous with living well. The same is true for building a business. There are simply some values that will get in the way of building a lasting, stable business, that works for both you and your employees. That is not to say that one cannot make money if you have any of these values. In fact, capitalism can bring some of the following values out in even the best of us, which is why you should be aware of these values and how to avoid relying on them.

1. You put yourself first. Either the customer or your employees or (ideally) both must come first when seeking to get value out of a business i.e. paying yourself for the time and effort you put into the business. I mean this in both the abstract and very real legal sense of the word. When a business is having cash flow issues, you are still legally obligated to pay your employees on time. If you do not you are in violation of federal law, and probably whatever state law governs your business practices. This is the basic order of operations to use when thinking about how your business provides value. You are always last. Even when filing Chapter 7 liquidation, secured debt (debt backed by collateral) is given the highest priority when paying back creditors, followed closely by pay owed to employees.

How to Avoid This:

Make a list of values that you would like your business to embody. Refer to this when you need some clarity on a big, values driven decision i.e. What is the business' family leave policy?

Keep your eye on the ball - why are you doing business? The answer should be to provide something of value to others, and making money should be side effect of a great product or service.

2. You shirk responsibility in the face of tough decisions. You may feel that you are happy to accept a leadership position, and would gladly take on everything that comes with that. But have you ever had to make the decision to fire someone? And I don't mean someone who is incompetent or otherwise underperforming. Have you ever had to fire a loyal, high performing person with whom you have worked very closely to build something in which you both believe? This is a situation in which you may find yourself, and you would do well to prepare for this possibility. I suggest reading The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz to learn more about the tough spots in which you could find yourself should the business grow beyond just yourself.

How to Avoid This:

Consciously start choosing to cultivate decisiveness. If someone asks what you would like for dinner, provide a real answer, instead of a middling, "I'm good with whatever anyone else wants". When asked your opinion, give it, thoughtfully, and only when asked. There are a ton of other ways to improve your decision making skills, most of which are probably just a Google search away.

3. You tend to be suspicious in the face of ambiguity, you rarely give the benefit of the doubt or worse, you tend to fall for the logical fallacy called argument from ignorance. This is a false dichotomy fallacy that asserts that a proposition is true because it has not yet been proven false or a proposition is false because it has not yet been proven true. For example, I once had a boss think that our dishwasher was lying about having to leave early from work. He claimed that he had to get a court mandated drug test at a facility just down the road from our work. My boss supposed that because he could be lying, and she did not have positive proof that he was being honest, he must be trying to get off early, at least sometimes. Please don't do this. This guy was being completely honest. I had to pass the route he took to this facility in order to make my way home, and I almost always saw him on his way to where he said he was going.

How to Avoid This:

Educate yourself on the principals of logical fallacy, and proper argumentative techniques. One of the best books I have ever read on this subject was actually a textbook in my college speech class. It was Thank You for Arguing by Jay Heinrichs. I also recommend you educate yourself on proper research techniques, and how to discern a reliable source of information, from an unreliable one. Training yourself on generally accepted information sourcing techniques is invaluable and can help you with everything from politics to your personal relationships.

4. You believe learning is finite and time bound. I once heard someone proudly announce that they didn't read books anymore because they had received their Master's degree, and therefore had done all the reading they needed to do. This may be an extreme example, but a lot of people do not truly value learning as much as they value credentialing, or "education". Businesses must learn to survive. Actively learn. Meaning, leaders need to propose hypotheses, run experiments, collect data, and analyze this data to reach a conclusion on the hypothesis. That is the only way a business can continue to grow and thrive in the current business climate.

How to Avoid This:

You can read The Lean Startup by Eric Reis for more information on the role that learning plays in the success of a business. Study the theories proposed in this book, and use them to inform your own company culture.

You can make learning a priority in your life. Not just as another thing to check off your to-do list. Keep up on your reading, even if you only like reading so-called "trashy" fiction. Reading is reading, and there have been some studies that support the idea that reading fiction can help us improve our ability to "walk a mile in someone else's shoes".

5. You're racist, sexist, or otherwise discriminatory or prejudiced. This includes things like having a preference for hiring a certain type of person for specific roles in the organization. You may catch yourself or others saying things like "I agree that she may be a good fit, but she is so young," or, "He should be applying for something in the back, we can't have men running the register." The latter was a common refrain in certain parts of the food service industry for a long time.

Also be sure to look out for the ways in which you judge others' appearances. I recently listened to episode 433 of the Smart Passive Income Podcast, entitled "Black Entrepreneurs Speak Out, Volume 2". In this episode we hear from James Shannon, who tells us about a time that he was told not to wear a hoodie to work because he "looked like a thug." This is explicitly racist behavior. It is the kind of behavior that is so hard to call out when you are on the receiving end, because it is so easy to argue against, especially when the person committing this offense is in a position of authority over you and your livelihood. Get the full story by listening to the podcast, it is definitely worth your time.

How to Avoid This:

We all have an obligation to educate ourselves on the reality of others. By this I mean, each and every one of us have a societal obligation to "walk a mile" in as many types of shoes as we can. While you may (hypothetically) be a cisgender, heterosexual, Hispanic man, plenty of people are not. And understanding the struggles, traditions, problems, and joys of people who are not similar to you will help you develop an understanding of how you, and your decisions fit within "the larger picture" of society. This understanding can help you connect with anyone better, as people will respond to those who make a genuine effort to understand and respect their experience. If you're working on your reading habit, be sure to read books by people who encourage critical thinking, respect for others, and offer new perspectives on large issues, such as How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi, or Histories of the Transgender Child by Jules Gill-Peterson.

6. You lie. Whether it is a simple habit of hyperbolic gossip, or outright deception there is no place for dishonesty at work. The tendency to lie is a human one, and I do believe that there is some place for small lies that have become a part of polite American small talk i.e. answering "I'm just fine." when someone asks how you're doing because you don't feel like explaining that you had a terrible fight with your wife that morning and you, in fact, feel like a dumpster fire. What I mean by lying is any form of knowing misrepresentation, deception, or fraud. This is not only damaging to your reputation, this habit can get you into serious legal trouble. Fraud is a serious charge that could land you in federal prison depending on the nature of your lies.

How To Avoid This:

Value honesty and plainness of speech. I try to refrain from using technical language as best I can, so as to retain the utmost clarity when making a point. You may feel like everyone is inflating themselves, and you have to do the same to compete. Do not do this. Openness and honesty will open more doors than it will close, and the doors it does close may very well be worth closing.

Wrapping it all up

If you find that you have given into any of these default values, you're not alone. I have been guilty of all of these to some degree, but the important thing is to identify these influences, and work to understand the pressure they exert over your decisions. You can change the things that you value for the better, and improve your business as a consequence of your pursuit.

There is also so much more you can do to actually affect change within society as a whole. Even if you are like myself, and can't even attend a protest, let alone help organize one, there are still ways in which you can help. I am looking into opportunities to lend some data entry assistance to my County's COVID-19 vaccine administration sites. We can all step up, and do what we can, with what we have, where we are!

What are some other values and beliefs that hinder businesses and their owners' success? I am always interested in expanding my perspective, so let me know in the comments!

#finance #business #entrepreneur #investment #personal growth #know your value #educateyourself #small business #small business coach

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