#but I do not accept this idea that he was still openly pursuing her. does not make sense

[dwellordream]

female adultery in ASOIAF and why it's not akin to modern day cheating

frequently fans insist on treating adultery within the world of ASOIAF as it it were the same as modern day infidelity. this, of course, ignores the fact that most marriages among the nobility of Westeros are arranged.

this does not mean every marriage is miserable, of course, but there is significantly less emotional attachment between the couple beforehand, unless they have known one another since childhood.

with that said, fans quite often do use this argument in defense of adultery- not for wives, but for husbands. a frequent claim put out is that men like Rhaegar, for example, don't owe their wives any loyalty because the marriage was not their choice. while technically, yes, no one is mandated to love their spouse or to respect an inherently broken marriage system, this ignores the fact that a woman like Elia is not free to carry on an affair the way her husband would be. women's bodies and sexualities are far more policed than men's in Westeros.

even with her husband's permission to take a lover on the side, most women would face extreme social ostracization and scorn if they were found out to be having affairs. and especially for the wives of princes and kings, this carries the weight of treason, because it puts into question the parentage of any royal heirs. Elia could have been outright killed if she was found to have a lover, regardless of Rhaegar's personal feelings on the matter.

the vague exception to this rule would be in the case of a woman like Genna Lannister, who is considered to have been forced to marry 'beneath her station', to a Frey, and thus, the jokes and insinuations that she may be cheating on Emmon do not carry quite the same weight. yet even so, I doubt Genna Lannister would ever openly announce she had a lover or directly discuss having an affair with her husband.

to go back to my original point, I am far more interested in female adultery than male. this is primarily because one of the few ways most Westerosi noblewomen can fight back against a forced or arranged match, or against an abusive or neglectful husband, is to secretly pursue their own pleasure and ambitions with a lover.

that is not to say that I think cheating is moral in these situations, but it is certainly not the same as a modern day woman having a fling while her husband is oblivious. a woman like Cersei, for example, did not choose to marry Robert. she was initially happy to become queen, but she quickly became disillusioned with her marriage, and Robert proved an extremely abusive and contemptuous husband.

Cersei cannot divorce or leave Robert, and even if she attempted to, would likely lose all contact with her children. nor does her family support the idea of her ending her marriage. given these parameters, Cersei cheating on Robert is simply not the same as it would be in a modern AU.

similarly, Rhaenyra is often bashed by the fandom for likely carrying on an affair with Harwin Strong during her marriage to Laenor. while there is zero indication in F&B or HOTD that Laenor was ever abusive or cruel to Rhaenyra, we know she did not freely choose to marry him. while HOTD presents the match as something Rhaenyra accepts and tries to use to her advantage, in F&B, Rhaenyra initially strongly protests the marriage until her father threatens to disown her if she does not accept Laenor as a husband.

in F&B, Laenor and Rhaenyra's marriage is depicted as stable but distant. the couple does not spend much time together and while Laenor appears to have tolerated Rhaenyra's relationship with Harwin, and to have had his own lovers, he obviously expected Rhaenyra to still have children who would be publicly presented as his offspring.

outside of any arguments over Rhaenyra's actions during the Dance or her time as reigning Queen, was Rhaenyra wrong to pursue a relationship outside her marriage, and to claim the children from that relationship as legitimate? I don't think so. 'legitimacy' is a construct of the feudal system in ASOIAF. while this doesn't mean it doesn't cause real trauma and pain, both to children raised knowing they are bastards, children who are accused of being bastards, and women who are expected to silently tolerate their husbands potentially pitting their own children against one another, it is not, actually 'real'.

Rhaenyra's sons are still her sons. her sexuality and personal autonomy shouldn't, outside of the context of the story, actually be something she is judged on. so it is strange to me when people insist that Rhaenyra having an affair or claiming her sons as legitimate is openly tyrannical or malevolent. there is plenty to criticize her character on- much as there is plenty to criticize Cersei on- but choosing to defy the institutions around her is not one of those critiques that should be valid.

[magnuswuff]

In defense of Brambleclaw

I have a hot take about the Warriors series, and that's that Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight have one of the *best*, most realistic, and most stable relationships in the whole series. I'll cover a lot of the things I've seen about Bramble, starting chronologically, with TNP.

I've seen a number of things claiming that Bramble was bad for his outburst towards Ashfur and Squirrelflight. Now, while I do think he was a little harsh, I can fully understand where he is coming from. Firstly, he was used to people associating him with his father, and knew that his half brother had to deal with the same, both fighting out from their father's shadow. And his mate's sister claimed that his half brother, who he was spending time with daily, was evil. He didn't want to believe anything but the best of this brother, so much like him. Squirrelflight left him because of it. But only a couple days later, Brambleclaw saw her cuddling Ashfur, who would have known full well about the breakup. Bramble was going through a lot right then, and saw his ex, who had just dumped him, snuggling up with some other dude. And so made a mean comment. Not saying that he should have, but I don't think he's entirely in the wrong for it.

On to the next point, of PoT and OotS. Bramble broke up with Squirrelflight after finding out that she had been lying to him about his kids being his. However, from then on, until the conclusion of OotS, he just doesn't really talk with her. He asks her why she hadn't trusted him to know, he's clearly hurt, and felt betrayed. But despite that, he doesn't try to make her life hard, treating her like any other warrior in the patrols. He didn't give her the harder jobs, he just acted like she was just another clan member, who he wasn't on speaking terms with. Which, to be frank, is a fairly more mature way of handling things than he could have taken, especially with how people point out that he was over her in rank. He actively chose not to abuse his rank. He does, after quite a while, fairly close to a year, or longer, talk to her, and asks her to be his deputy, and she accepts. Some say that changed their power dynamic, but it really didn't do a ton there, since they're now working closer together. And, as I'll get to later, he gladly listens to her ideas. I would also like to point out that despite the kits not being his, he still tried to be a good dad. They were still, from his point of view, his kits, regardless of the fact he'd been lied to about their parentage.

Now for Bramblestar's Storm. I'll keep this part shorter. He had feelings for Jessie, which does happen to a fairly decent number of married couples, one spouse gets feelings for somebody else. But he chose not to pursue it. Thus, in that instance, he chose to stay with Squirrelflight, and to stay true to her, instead of leaving her.

Now for Squirrelflight's Hope. Which many consider to be fairly bad writing, but that's not the point here. The argument that Squirrelflight and Bramblestar have in the first chapter is started by Squirrelflight. But Bramble openly admits that she was right, just that her timing in telling him the idea was bad, which it was. Generally speaking, at gatherings, it's considered bad form to disagree with the leader in front of everyone, especially if they're proposing something that might be unpopular with other clans, to show that you're serious, and united. It's fairly standard politicing. And she didn't do that, which got her chewed out. But, despite Bramble being upset that, in front of everyone, including his warmongering nephew, she had contradicted what he said his clan was gonna do, he admitted that she was right. Later in that same conversation, she brings up the topic of kits. And he says that he does want more kits, but not right then. Which I do not believe is unfair. Things are a *lot* more unstable now than they were between OotS and A Vision of Shadows, with Tigerstar breathing down Bramblestar's neck, wanting to start a fight, a whole new clan that Thunderclan is helping to get set up, and Bramble is also leading the largest clan, and still trying to be a good father and mate. He's got a lot more going on than he did when he and Squirrelflight had their last kits, so saying not right now is not an unreasonable reaction. However, she then spirals into thinking that the very faithful Bramble, who had chosen to stay with her over Jessie, would abandon her and have kits after she died. And spiraling and bringing up things that aren't the initial cause of an argument is pretty common in arguments between people. Especially people who enjoy bantering and playful bickering, like Bramble and Squirrelflight. But the next day, she realizes, like in most arguments, she said some things she didn't mean, and that he did too. And they make up at the end of the book.

Also, Bramble choosing to to let the rogues in was likely influenced by having the prospect of war if Tigerstar found out, and he was likely trying to avoid it. But at the end of the book, he changed his mind, and admitted that he made the wrong choice.

Please tell me what you think, and if you have anything that either supports or disproves what I have to say in defense of Bramble.

I always liked him when I read the books in the mid 2010s, and found it really weird that people didn't like him now. And I still think that it's a little weird. :p

I'll sum things up with a bit from one of the old Warriors rap battles, between Bramble and Squirrelflight, where in the end they agree that most of their problems are Leafpool's fault.

[bat-fan-sa]

SonAmy: Talk of Canon & Canon Expectations in Fandom

I understand that not everyone likes or supports SonAmy. I understand that there are plenty of annoying, obsessive shippers out there who turn people away from the ship entirely. I get why so many antis are sick of seeing SonAmy, especially with there being more of a focus on the ship in recent years, both in the fandom and in the franchise itself.

And as a SonAmy shipper, I’m fine with that because what others think won’t change my own enjoyment of the pairing. Toxic shippers and toxic antis won’t make me stop from shipping the two together regardless.

But what I do take issue with are those antis who still persist with the idea that SonAmy has no canon basis to it and that Sonic doesn’t have any romantic feelings towards Amy. Going further by using the whole, “It’ll never be official/canon, so stop shipping it.”

The thing with that is, I’m fully aware that Sega is never going to make SonAmy “official.” By official, I mean, Sonic and Amy are never going to openly confess to one another (on screen) and start dating. Sonic and Amy are never going to be a canon couple or get married.

Because the Sonic franchise does not progress that way. It’s known for sticking to the status quo when it comes to character relationships, and one of the biggest selling points for Amy and Sonic’s dynamic is that Amy openly loves Sonic and pursues him, and Sonic is too shy to openly admit his feelings for Amy, focusing more on freedom and stopping Eggman.

Sonic is a franchise that doesn’t focus too heavily on romance, but there has been romance present in the games, shows, and other spinoff series. And unlike what many have claimed, Sonic has been shown to return Amy’s feelings, he just isn’t as open about them as she is towards her own feelings.

Example 1: Sonic X (produced by TMS Entertainment, but was in partnership and oversaw by Sega & the Sonic Team)

Was full of moments that were heavily coded as romantic, from Amy giving the seashell bracelet as a gift and Sonic later on wearing it and saving her from drowning to the scene where they fall into the hay and just relax together in that moment, Sonic even letting her blow some stray hay out of his ear.

This specific scene also come to mind because it is heavily, heavily romantic coded. From the lighting to the positioning, to Sonic being the one who gifts Amy a white rose (which is typically used at weddings) after Amy has a heartfelt confession and asks him to just tell her he loves her.

Example 2: Sonic Unleashed

When Sonic is turned into a werehog and Amy spots him and comes rushing over, he immediately becomes insecure about the way he looks and runs away. He doesn’t want Amy to see him in such a state and fears scaring her away.

But the real indicator of any romantic feelings shown in the game is the fact the player is given the option to accept Amy’s date proposal or not.

If Sonic doesn’t have any feelings towards her, then why would that even be an option in the first place? If Sega never intended for Sonic to ever return Amy’s feelings, then he wouldn’t agree to a date, nor would the player be given the option.

Example 3: “Sonic is too shy to confess.”

Says right there on the tin. Sega was asked and they answered with this. And if this is supposedly fake, wouldn’t have Sega caught wind of this and cleared things up as to prevent any misunderstanding?

I could also go into other examples, such as the recent IDW comics (not Archie) or Sonic Boom, but I’ve already made my point and this is already getting quite long (sorry).

While, yes, there’s never been a concrete moment where Sonic proclaimed, “I love Amy Rose!” in the games or spinoffs, there’s plenty examples of subtle moments indicating that Sonic has some feelings towards Amy. Sega has had many romantic moments shared between the two where Sonic didn’t run away or reject Amy’s advances, sometimes openly reciprocating or initiating them (albeit not as eccentric as Amy does in comparison).

So, the argument about whether SonAmy is “canon” or “official” has always been a pointless one to me because there’s already evidence that the two have some level of romantic feelings towards each other. Sega has made it rather clear that SonAmy is a thing.

But they’ve also made it clear that they have zero plans to ever have the two officially date or marry in the games or spinoffs.

This does not mean that SonAmy isn’t canon; it just means that the franchise isn’t going to risk making any major decisions that will change the already pre-established status quo. So, in a way, yes, SonAmy is not “official” in the most canon-sense of the word.

But none of that even matters when it comes to shipping, because shipping has never been about whether or not characters end up dating or married in canon. People ship crack and uncanon pairings all the time, sometimes with characters who’ve never even met or interacted before. Even if SonAmy didn’t have any canon basis to it, people would still be shipping them because canon has nothing to do with shipping.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, antis claiming that SonAmy isn’t canon based solely on them not officially dating or being married, while also ignoring the evidence that proves they share mutual feelings towards one another, has always felt like an inconsequential point to me.

It’s just an outdated way to look at shipping.

[itsmaferart]

Hi, I love your Spyxfamily analysis! There's something I want to ask you to analyze. Does Yoru feel attacked to Twilight? Her office "friends" think he's good looking and I think he knows he's good looking as well, but so far, Yor hasn't said anything.

In my opinion, currently she's fallen in love with the family, but I'm not sure about her feelings for Loid.

What do you think? Any predictions on how this might develop?

Oh! Thanks a lot! I'm glad you enjoy my analyses! Precisely, I did an analysis of chapter 35 of the manga where I talk about that topic.

But if I have to give my conclusion, it would be:

If I had to define the relationship that Loid (Twilight) and Yor currently have, it would be two people with a "romantic attraction"= They like each other, they have chemistry between them, respect and admire each other, and genuinely care about each other's well-being, and they find in each other the support and the desire to be better to see themselves happy.

This for me is the clear definition of "love". It is a relationship that is being built and from which they are constantly learning.

But, we must keep in mind that Twilight and Yor have not been "conventional" people. Their lives have been plagued by a lot of pain and abrupt changes that have prevented them from living stages of their lives. So it's natural that their perception of "being in love" is low.

Obviously, the state of their current relationship is very complicated, there are too many lies and conflicts surrounding the life of the Forger family. They are two strangers who agreed to a deal for convenience, started a relationship by cohabitation, and both think that their jobs are impediments to having a happy and peaceful life.

For one, the other is an ordinary person, and both want to protect the quiet life of the other. The two are willing to do anything to preserve the peaceful world where the other lives. Without having any idea, that they both pursue the same ideal, and share the same feeling.

Twilight's problem lies in his fear that the world could descend into war at any moment. Reliving all the traumas that accompany him from childhood. This prevents him from wanting to accept whatever feelings are growing for Yor, Anya and Bond. If he does, it would be admitting that he has become attached. For someone whose ideal should be peace, having personal longings becomes selfish. He feels that establishing any relationship will end badly, whether he dies during a mission, or has to fulfill a mission that takes him away from the family.

Just like Yoru, she clearly expressed fear of receiving a wound that would make her move away from them. For Yoru, her ideal of "protecting the peaceful life of others" is important. Because if the ambitions of people unleash a war, the people she loves will be harmed.

It is normal, that they have not openly admitted any feelings. For them it is not easy to do it, because falling in love wanting to start a family can currently have many implications and would only confuse them more. The romantic feelings are there, but they are not ready to accept them.

So it's easier to justify everything by saying "I do this for my mission", or… "I do this because I love being in a family". They are barriers that both use so as not to deal with the implications

Regarding the development....

Well, it's hard to predict the direction Endo wants to take. So far each plot twist is more surprising. In addition, the actions of the Forger family are subject to antagonists. It is still a mystery what is the cause behind the war and the plans behind it.

Let's keep in mind that SxF is a dramatic comedy. Endo's main focus is to explore "the consequences that war produces", and how love can heal and give a second chance…. And not so much a plot of love

But, none of that prevents Twilight and Yor from getting together. Especially when the entire plot strives to create that bond full of feelings, learning and tension… The two are fools when they are close to each other 💜

However, I think that Endo is individually and collectively developing each of the Forgers. Developing Anya, Yoru and sometimes even Bond

Twilight's development is more complicated. Because even though he is constantly changing, breaking all those implicit rules in his work, worrying about making his wife and daughter happy. He's not ready to admit it, and live in denial

So I assume that at some point he may begin to recognize it, or… an event forces him to accept these feelings.

But I think that for the moment, we will have to wait for the plot to develop

[humdelhi]

“Regardless of your imperfections, your parents will always accept you. They will never treat you differently. No matter what you do or how you are, they will always be on your side. However, the harsh truth is shoved on your face when you step out of your house. People will look at you differently. It does not matter how trivial or big your flaws are; the world will still magnify and ridicule them.

My parents never sent me to any special school. They never let me feel that I was suffering from dwarfism. I remember going to the doctor frequently with them during my adolescent days but I simply assumed that those were regular checkups that every kid needs to have. Nevertheless, the society broke the truth to me when I was 9 years old. I remember I had joined a new school and as I entered the new class, everyone started laughing at me. I laughed along with them believing that it was some kind of a welcome gesture in the class. But I soon realised that they were laughing at me, because of my height. My classmates would mock me and tease me, without realising how their behaviour affected me. I would go home and weep during the entire night.

One morning I tried to convince my parents to not send me to that school. But they made me understand that I’ll have to face such behaviour throughout my life and I should rather learn to fight against it. That’s when I accepted how I was physically and decided to prove myself to the society and earn its respect. I wanted to do things which would make people respect my abilities and ignore my ‘disability’. That’s one of the reasons why I decided to pursue Chartered Accountancy as there is no disability quota in getting qualified as a CA. And at the same time, I was real good with numbers so I saw it all as an opportunity to pursue a career at one of the big four accounting firms.

Over time I have earned respect from my friends but facing humiliation in public is still a part of my daily grind. People get amused when they see me and start taking my photos. Some would mock me with a cheap comment and laugh. I remember an incident when a seemingly well educated lady pointed her finger at me and told her son that if he doesn’t drink milk every day, he will become like me. At my first job, the guard didn’t let me enter the office. He decided to check with his seniors as he couldn’t believe that I could work in such a renowned company or any company for that matter. When I struggle to get into a bus, people often laugh at me with amusement rather than helping me out. They don’t realise that I’m also a tax-paying citizen and entitled to the same rights that they have!

I think that a lot of people don’t want people with disabilities to become a part of the mainstream and their daily life. I have been openly defying such people. I want to serve as a source of inspiration to people with disabilities and the whole society in general. “When others bow down to talk, I raise my head while talking to them” - I try to keep such little ideas of positivity in my mind and keeping going on in life. My father, who had been the closest person to me, passed away a few years ago. But I remember the guidance and positivity he instilled in me throughout my life. I hope he’s watching me from heaven with a smile on his face!”

[recycledbeercans]

I’m actually not one to get super heavy into having explicit gender/sexuality hcs for characters because I appreciate leaving it a little open-ended to explore possibilities, but everything about Futurama really lends itself to making me want to define my takes on them for these characters, and it feels very relevant to their personalities.

I actually hc Bender as a gay robosexual more than I do bi. Like, the nuances in of what flavor of queer this fictional character is doesn’t matter too much, but the reason I lean into it w/ him is because the series just constantly centers his love for Fry and need to see him happy as being more important to him than his own life. It’s continually reinforced that while Bender is able to at least move on from failed relationships without too much trouble, any time he loses Fry in some way, he is completely decimated emotionally. It makes me feel like he never has much true attachment to the fembots he sleeps around with, and even when he is more longterm into a lady, he doesn’t express the same level of devotion that he does to Fry. It feels more like he (honestly i’d argue this for Fry and Leela also) just acts the way he feels he is expected to, because his deeper desires always seem to skew elsewhere.

He’s an interesting character in that regard. Then there’s so many “Bender is gay” jokes littered throughout episodes, especially in how he idolizes over characters like Calculon and Elzar, how he is shown to naturally shift into other gender identities (which I’d say Bender isn’t cis either but because he’s a robot it feels like a bit of a gray area because the whole “robot = nb” trope is a little tired but in this case, it has less to do w/ him being a robot and more to do with his behaviors). Then of course prop infinity was just a blatant gay allegory, it straight up was based around our real world equivalent of prop 8 and I’m still mind-boggled why the writers would make that whole scenario… straight. It seemed like Bender was into Amy because she superficially reminds him of Fry because the idea of monogamy killed his interest entirely, but you know Bender wouldn’t hesitate to exclusively devote himself to Fry, even if his feelings are more one-sided. Bender to me feels, gay robosexual and in denial, like, he knows but doesn’t like to acknowledge it.

Then Fry obviously reads as bi or pan to me, because he clearly loves Leela (and his affection towards her is really genuine), but also because of the time period he came from, he wouldn’t even realize he isn’t straight or consider it so he’d probably need to be pushed into considering other options (like Bender, lol) to process this information.

Leela also screams lesbian to me. I get such strong comphet vibes from her because every relationship she has with a guy in the show always feels like she is trying to superficially mark off checkboxes of what a guy should be and provide, but she never seems genuinely passionate in her love for any of them. She never shows much affection and always expects the guy to impress her. I’ve never seen her be in love with and pursue anyone, esp never the way Fry has her. It always feels like she just settles and only gets with Fry because she can eventually fit him into the mold of what she expects in a man after Fry tries for years to win her over, but she never seems truly charmed by him the way he is with her (this is so reinforced by Lars, even tho it’s supposed to be a Fry/Leela win, Lars isn’t even comparable to Fry so it’s basically saying Fry as we know him isn’t Leela’s type).

Something about these characters all being their own flavor of unrealized queer is such a good and appealing narrative to me, esp with a show like Futurama that came out around the time that it wasn’t fully accepted in society to be able to openly explore if you were, but it was still acknowledged as a thing. I feel so strongly about Leela being mom-friend to Fry and Bender and to me that feels more natural than trying to force a relationship between her and Fry.

I was actually surprised to find out a lot of people told me they never considered Fry/Bender before and I think it’s because there are two ways to watch a show. You can follow along with what it tells you (Fry likes Leela, he will win her over), or you can pay attention to what actually happens (Fry and Bender are affectionate and care about each other and Bender would give anything for Fry, Leela really doesn’t want to date Fry until all options are exhausted). And well, most ppl are casual viewers, yanno. But even tho the show says you should ship Fry and Leela, everything in their behaviors behind this superficial veil of expectations does not fit this narrative at all in terms of how things play out? It also begs the question of how the writers view relationships because there’s too many “our marriage is falling apart and my wife is a nag” jokes for me to think they weren’t just genuinely writing their shitty take on what love should look like. And these were the unintended consequences.

I have mixed feelings about a Futurama revival for a laundry list of reasons. But I will say I wonder if the show does get revived, if any of this will be addressed. I would actually lose my shit over a narrative involving the characters exploring and coming to terms with their sexualities because 1. It feels in place for Futurama, and 2. So much media has skipped over depicting the struggles that come with accepting your identity and gone right into “jt’s normal and no one says anything negative about it” that as a queer person who grew up struggling w/ my own identity, I desperately miss not seeing my experiences anywhere. And because I grew up with these characters and lived in the same time period, it’s something I’d want to see from a revival. Though my hopes aren’t high.

Otherwise I’m not really interested in seeing the technology be updated because part of the charm was that it was the future but the tech was all retro futuristic, like stuff from the 80s-80s.

Anyways I’m getting off topic.

Professor Farnsworth is gay and homophobic.

[tomatograter]

I was wondering about your take on Lesbian Jane?

I’ve been thinking about her a lot. Jane isn’t inherently a villainous character. She was raised to take on a position of power so it’s not surprising she seek that out in adulthood. But more the that, I think about how she was born in a time when certain things were expected of women. And how she may have internalized the idealism of husband and child due to that. In HS2 it’s clear she doesn’t have any true romantic feeling for Jake. And part of me wonders if she ever really did? Or if her infatuation with Jake English as a person was due to the fact that he was a “attractive boy”. After all, in HS2 she does marry him and they do have a child. Fitting what would have been seen as a perfect family construct in her original timeline. But she openly neglects both in favor of things she actually finds important. I know Gamzee exist. But I still wonder if her performative gender roles and inherent straightness isn’t all one in the same. I.e, BS. 

I’ve always been partial to lesbian Jane. I don’t think ‘gamzee’ is much of an argument against it if you’ve ever been in contact with actual lesbians; there’s women who spend decades of their lives putting work into a straight marriage that doesn’t truly satisfy them beyond the barest needs for companionship, but it is what they’ve been taught to accept and what they believe Everyone Else Feels. The human experience doesn’t work in a tight binary where you automatically know *what* is wrong with you. Sometimes the problem makes you believe it is actually a feature, and that it’s normal, and that you should just muscle through it no matter how shit it feels like. And that’s kind of Jane’s whole thing- Jane has Girlboss disease. 

Like, “yeah, this all sucks, and it makes me feel like garbage, but I have Numbers, and i have Prizes, and I have Accomplishments, and I am a Strong Independent Woman, and that’s what everyone tells me SHOULD make me happy, so I guess this is what happiness feels like.” And she just doesn’t know when to stop. She’ll dig her own grave with a golden shovel if you leave her to it.

I think It’s interesting to note a few things when breaching this subject:

1) Nanna Egbert chose to be a single mom. It’s not that she’s a widow, is that she never pursued marriage. You can make a lot of fail arguments on this one like ‘oh but in the lore nannasprite section we learn that jane and jake had a marriage prophecy or whatever blah blah’ but Beta Jake avoids her for eternity and while Beta Jane found someone to have a son with, she didn’t make it any more than that. Instead, she built a practical jokes and pranks shop and ran it for as long as she was alive, because again, she’s a girlboss. A lot of lipservice about traditionalism on this one and very little actual effort put into fulfilling it.

2) Jane doesn’t actually “love” Jake. She’s infatuated with what he represents, which is a recurring theme in Homestuck. Be it about Terezi and her relationship with Alternian Law, or Dave and his coolguy schtick, or Jake and his flimsy adventure hero persona- characters have “expectations” and these come with a set of rules that must be fulfilled. Sometimes, these self-imposed challenges are more harmful to the character than they’re ever going to beneficial for their growth. It’s effectively like shooting themselves on the foot.

This is actually an ongoing thread during act 6, but not one that I see brought up a lot. Jane projects what she believes are desirable qualities about a man onto Jake, what she’s been taught is the norm and dreamy- but she has negative interest in who he actually is. If anything, Jane finds him tacky, annoying, weird, and unbearably boring. But she thinks she can ‘fix’ him into a model companion if she tries hard enough.

Jane “reinterprets” a lot about Jake as a person to make him more digestible. She does this deliberately, to pad out how little interest he seems to have into the whole thing, and also to depersonalize him enough that she doesn’t have to feel bad about not... actually liking him.

(worthy of note, her “two favorite dames” are married as of catnapped in HS2)

They’re friends, i’m not disputing that, but friendship doesn’t necessarily translate into “compatibility” or “romance”.

“Jake” as a concept in Jane’s glossary is interchangeable with “7th grade 1st place trophy on the national Spelling Bee championship”, and that’s where most of our issues come from. He’s an achievement to be crossed off from a checklist, on the road of becoming an Independent, Successful Businesswoman. At best he’s a status marker, at worst he’s a commodity. Jane didn’t come up with this by herself, though, these ideas are closely linked to HIC’s influence on her life and Jake’s. (It’s not for nothing that Crockertier Jane is the one to be most outspoken about it, or that Epilogues Jane is characterized as a Crockercorp-monster. None of this exists in a vacuum.) These ideals are part of her familial upbringing and corporate brainwashing, the endgoal of them being simulating the Condesce as closely as possible. 

When HIC goes undercover as a Human Woman Of Earth, the figure she picks to represent her is a housewife. The fictional Betty Crocker is the apex of Girlbossery- and how can you be a housewife, in 20′s America, without a husband?

Jane is discouraged from being an “individual” and told what she needs to be is a suitable heiress, and that’s her own tragedy. (She has failed to consider wives can have other wives.)

I have babbled about Jane before, particularly when it comes to her also being trapped by gendered expectations she doesn’t want & being gender-nonconforming (a butch, if you will) here.

[wonderpommey]

Georgia’s comment about Roman not being closeted seems to have rubbed some people the wrong way. 

The point people do have is that Roman's characterisation has obviously evolved from what it was initially going to be (had a kid! Was having irregular sex with Grace! Was bi!) and the writers have had to make that work somehow. It seems a moot point even discussing if the writers know what they’re writing, but imma do it anyway and so here’s why I agree with her.

Read after the cut if you care!

Is Roman projecting romantic relationships that are different from what he really wants for appearance sake? Yes. 

Does he do it knowingly? Not necessarily… He certainly tries to fashion Tabitha into something that would work for him.

Does it prevent him from pursuing other sexual interests his family would deem shameful privately? Absolutely not.

Does he keep up the pretence of those show relationships when he’s found something he’s genuinely into? Not really.

Is his sexuality more complex than “Ooh I’m also attracted to business dads?”. Definitely.

Has he internalised homophobia, I’m not sure. Has he internalised misogyny? Yes, to an extent.

On the boat Logan suggests he’s ok with Roman experimenting with homosexuality, as long as he doesn’t have to see it. But do I think Logan sees his son’s sexuality with any kind of understanding clarity? Not really. In fact, he forces Roman into a corner of somewhat denying what he feels and calls it disgusting directly and indirectly.

Can you see every single emotion Roman feels when he’s feeling it, no matter how “disgusting”? HELL YEAH

The male trainer hand job, the power trip over Grace/waiter, the necrophilia kink, the sub/dom relationship with a MILF. Since S1, Roman has done whatever he wanted, whenever he felt like it, without letting what his family would think be a hindrance or a barrier. In fact, it feels like the less his parents would approve, the more it works for him on a primal level.

I don't think it's being closeted that has him not want to do anything more with the trainer; The newfound COO power being levied against this fitness guy, it doesn’t quite do it for him, but he’ll openly explore it all the same.

Furthermore, Roman uses his fluidity in the way of someone who accepts they have it. I need to flirt with this guy for business? Where Logan would make a show of being disgusted, Roman goes "I’ll flirt with him and it’ll be fun!”. It’s even an open secret with Gerri who never really seems phased by it - or anything he throws at her, “Can you seduce this guy?" “I might fuck Laurie”. With her at least, he plays with that side of him in the way of someone who’s not internally ashamed of it.

Frankly, I also think some people are reading too much in the Mencken interaction. I get why though; It was scripted in the dialog and probably directed to feel flirtatious. However, it’s partly a metaphor for how fascist supporters feel - almost sexually - about their heroes. Roman probably understands Mencken isn’t speaking literally when he says people want to "fuck him or kill him" but still Mencken is saying I want clarity, bluntness, a dose of willingness to flirt with danger and disgusting ideas. That’s Roman's main strength; understanding people, sniffing them out and adapting. 

There’s plenty wrong with Roman, but I totally get what Georgia means when she says he’s not closeted - like say Nate in Euphoria is closeted. He’s not internally ashamed of who he is and he would not turn away from doing something he wanted to do, because of shame. If anything, that’d be a turn on…

Now has he been traumatised by having his desire for connection tarnished/his tender feelings made to be a dirty thing by his family. Yes, definitely

Traumatised by having to project to be someone he’s not, someone in charge, someone who needs to win to gain the love he craves (even though he doesn’t really want to win). Also yes.

Is he looking in his romantic/sexual relationships for a kind of almost parental, nurturing, unconditional love he never got from his parents? Is he looking for someone who can receive the absolute love he wants to give? Absolutely

Does he reject his parents’ notions of love and sexuality through his own? 1000%. That’s also why I’m not sure Logan allowing Roman to do anything will really work for him in the long term tbh...

[xaibaugrove]

Everyone in the Krew is Problematic

I was inspired to go on this rant by someone who recently brought up a question in a server I’m in, asking why so many people in the fandom seem to hate Mako and Makorra and why. This wouldn’t be the first time I defend Mako and it most likely won’t be the last, but it might be the first time I tear him and everyone else in the Krew down in the process, only to bring them back up. Hear me out though.

I think I’ve totally accepted that a lot of people in this fandom will always hate Mako and that I will have to perpetually defend him, I understand that this is the relationship I’ve chosen with this world. But what I still will never understand are the reasons why people hate/dislike him because compared to how much they love other characters in the Krew who honestly aren’t that much better than him (in some cases, even worse!), it doesn’t make any sense.

Let me also preface this by saying, I love these characters with all my heart and soul, probably more than I should love fictional characters, but this is the life I live and with that being said, I am going to tear them apart just to prove a point. Okay, here we go.

MAKO

Most of his detractors list the usual criticisms, which are valid when isolated. He cheated on Asami, he lied to Korra, he was a terrible boyfriend and essentially he treated the women he claimed to love or care about horribly. Gee, it’s almost like the man was a teenager with no experience in having long-lasting, healthy relationships and was raised in the streets by gangmembers while doing anything to survive and provide for his younger sibling after seeing his parents killed right in front of him and suddenly being orphaned…

I think Mako has been torn down enough, so I won’t get too deep into the tearing down part for him. It really does baffle me how someone can claim to be woke and not comprehend how someone coming from poverty could possibly be a product of their environment. Like, does everyone think that poor people automatically have hearts of gold and turn out like Little Orphan Annie? Why are people surprised that when someone has a shitty life, they might do shitty things?

Also, sooo many people love Zuko, who actively tried to cause harm to Aang, Katara and Sokka numerous times, and sympathize with his troubled past. But like, sure Zuko had an abusive father and his mother peaced out of his life for whatever reasons but at least he had his uncle. Mako had his parents for maybe 8 years before they were murdered in front of him and then had...no one for the next 10 years? Except for Bolin, sure, but no other parental figure in his life. Dude literally had to become him and his brother’s own parent and joined a gang to survive, and after all that, the worst he does is acts as a bad boyfriend toward Korra and Asami and he is instantly thrown to the wolves. Something doesn’t add up. It’s just...I don’t get it.

Yes, the way he treated people was bad, but people can grow? That’s a thing humans can do. And he was a teenager, my god. No, we cannot allow our past to be an excuse for how we treat others, but we have to be aware that there is a growth process to being human. And being human in and of itself, isn’t pretty. You think Mako is problematic? Don’t get me started on your fave.

KORRA

Ok, I love this woman to death but she is ridiculously problematic. She pursued someone in a relationship and essentially forced Mako to cheat on Asami by kissing him against his will, that’s already pretty awful and shows a lack of empathy on her part, also kissing people without their consent is no bueno. But also I just have to say it for the people who might not know this. One of the fundamental reasons why Makorra didn’t work was because KORRA WAS ABUSIVE. Okay? It wasn’t just that Mako was inadequate at relationships and didn’t know how to people, it wasn’t that she was secretly confused and wanting Asami the entire time (biphobia at it’s best) one of the main problems in the pairing was that Korra was crazy abusive towards Mako. Seriously, why don’t I see this more often in those discussions??

If we need examples, I have dozens. Honestly, it’s really easy to see how terrible Korra was to Mako, I’d actually argue that she treated him worse than he treated her. I mean, they were both terrible to one another, but in Korra’s case she went through the motions of being completely infatuated with your first teenage crush, getting with said crush, then crashing and burning once you realize that you have no idea how to treat a romantic partner so after the butterflies wear off you subject them to all the wonderful aspects of your anger issues. Not only did she scream at Mako during every argument they had, she also threatened him with bodily harm if she got really angry. Remember how their relationship crashed and burned in Book 2? Here are the things that Korra did during that time. Let me reiterate, this was not okay.

Mako is visibly shaken by this!

This woman burst into her boyfriend’s place of work and violently kicked his desk out from in front of him with all his coworkers present. That is not normal behavior. That is a red flag. And after she came back, had amnesia or whatever and forgot they broke up after that scene, let’s not forget that Mako was legitimately Afraid to break up with her again. Korra made her partner frightened that they might suffer bodily harm if they upset her. Again, and I can’t stress this enough, this is not okay!

The little scene in Book 3 when Korra is lifting Mako like 100 feet off the ground with airbending while he’s screaming in fear just to make Asami laugh is cute, right? I’ll admit, I loved that little moment too, it’s one of the only instances of Korrasami development that we got, but also, there were sooo many things wrong with that scene lol. Not only does Korra terrify Mako for literally no reason, it’s also sort of just her continuing to exercise some degree of power over him for her own amusement. Almost like a subtle reminder to him saying, “I am stronger than you in every way and I can break your femur like a twig if I wanted to… but I won’t, so look how much fun we’re having!”

Now of course, there are reasons why Korra acts like this. She was isolated for almost her entire life and never learned how to treat people and be around people. The Avatar is human because they must live amongst the people they protect and that helps them develop empathy and cherish life. The White Lotus deprived her of that fundamental aspect of her duty as the Avatar and it showed throughout the beginning of the series. Clearly, she was young, didn’t see how her actions could negatively affect others and hurt the feelings of not just her partner but also friends and family (she was really awful towards a lot of people in her life!). But as the series went on, we see her having less outbursts and learning to control her temper more.

One can only assume that she does not have the same behavior with Asami because for one, I don’t think Asami would play that shit, she seems like she would electrocute a bitch in a heartbeat and not hesitate if needed, but also Korra is not the same shitty partner she used to be as a teenager. Again, kids do stupid things. Adults do stupid things. And we learn and we grow. Korra will probably make some more mistakes in her relationship with Asami. I don't think anyone can have one bad relationship and suddenly learn all the lessons they can from it and have a perfect one the next go around. I can totally picture Korra losing her temper and raising her voice at Asami if she gets frustrated and forgets who she’s dealing with. Managing anger issues is hard, I know this from experience, and it doesn’t magically get easier. Of course, if Korra does pop off, Asami would definitely put her in her place because she’s a bad bitch who doesn’t take anyone’s shit, next character.

ASAMI

You know her, you love her, you fantasize about her and you probably have her on your list of fictional characters you would totally bang if you had the chance (I know I do), yes, even your best girl is problematic. It’s interesting to me that a lot of people sympathize with Asami and very few openly criticize her (so few that I’ve never seen anyone say a bad thing about her). What’s there to criticize though? The poor girl was cheated on by Mako, had her feelings disregarded by Korra, who claimed to be her friend but pursued her then-boyfriend behind her back and then made up for it by simping for her for the rest of her life? Also her mom was murdered when she was just 6 years old, her father threatened to kill her once and physically abused her, then died right after they started repairing their relationship, essentially making her an orphan at the ripe age of 22. Suffice it to say, Asami has been through it.

So, how could she be problematic, you ask? Why, of course, through the classic Bryke technique of romance progression in storylines called Kissing People Without Their Consent

To be honest, I did gloss over this with Korra, simply because there were sooo many other issues with that woman and I just couldn’t go through every single one in as much detail but that doesn’t negate how serious this whole sneak attack kissing thing is. Sure, Asami is very emotional and lonely and sort of desperate too, (it's a little sad, really) but Mako is clearly uncomfortable and completely caught off guard by the kiss. This is also the second time this happens to him in the series! There are a couple factors that might contribute to why Asami does this and acts this way, maybe Korra’s general awfulness rubbed off on her (don’t make a dirty joke) but this is still wrong.

AND that’s...pretty much it. Kissing people without their permission is a big no no, though. Not wanting to gloss over that, but Asami really is a good person who just did a not-so-great thing. Getting burned by Mako twice probably made her a little less inclined to be as forward with anyone though, and it looks like she now takes her time and is patient in her relationship with Korra. It even seems like Asami is the only person Korra is afraid to upset, as Korra does seem more gentle and calm when around her. And who knows? Maybe Asami living a life where a majority of the time she got whatever she wanted when she wanted it might have also influenced her to be more assertive or even imposing within her relationships.

If anything, those three fools getting into relationships with each other just showed how not ready they were to be in relationships in the first place and also how not okay they were.

BOLIN

Originally I titled this as “Everyone in the Krew is problematic (except Bolin)” but then I remembered that Bolin totally kissed a woman without her consent so I deleted the shit out of that!

This asshole looks genuinely pleased with himself after essentially assaulting Ginger. Not a good look.

Sure, Bolin is baby. He will always be baby to me. But that does not erase the fact that he also actively supported a fascist dictator. Not only was the kissing without consent thing bad, but there’s also that. No matter how many times people around him warned him about the fact that he was on the wrong side of things, that he was helping someone who was putting people into concentration camps...Bolin wanted to believe the best of Kuvira. He ignored obvious signs that the woman was a dictator committing human rights violations like crazy and you know, there’s gotta be a reason for that too.

Maybe Bolin wanted to feel like he was doing something good for once. When you think about it, with his role as the comic relief in the Krew, and sort of constantly being infantilized by his older brother, I wouldn’t be surprised if the man developed some insecurity in his ability to do anything good or useful for anyone without screwing it up in some way. In Kuvira’s army, it seemed like he was actually taken seriously, he felt like he was doing something that mattered. Korra had being the Avatar, Asami had her business and mindblowing philanthropy (honestly, her ability to be as charitable as she is profitable is insane) and Mako had his police work (ACAB, tho). Bolin had...the role of being a joke. A superficial actor. A former pro-bending meathead.

Bolin lived his entire life following after his brother that once they were adults and Mako finally decided to live his own life for once, it left Bolin completely lost. And lost young men are perfect recruits for fascists.

So, in conclusion, my whole reasoning behind destroying the integrity of my favorite characters is to prove a huge point. All of these characters are problematic. They have flaws, some bigger than others (looking at you, Korra. Just...wow), but ultimately, even if your fave is problematic... that’s okay. A lot of people, mostly younger people it seems, are really obsessed with being right about everything that they do and stan. And that’s a wonderful thing, so much change has come about by the younger generations calling out people who do fucked up shit, don’t want or try to improve, and get away with it. But it’s also caused a lot of people to be unforgiving and completely unwilling to acknowledge when people do improve and try to be better.

Personally, I love my problematic Krew because having issues that you’re constantly working on internally is human. It’s human to make mistakes, it’s human to grow from those mistakes. And it’s inspiring to me, who is wholly imperfect, to see myself reflected in fictional characters who aren’t perpetuating unrealistic ideals of human nature, characters who are messy, crazy and ultimately human.

As one of my favorite manga artists and queen of impeccable character creation Rumiko Takahashi once said:

“I think that perfect people are not very interesting.”

And I will always wholeheartedly agree.

[emotions-ew]

A Collection of Queer Country Artists and Songs for anyone who doesn’t feel like there’s country music they can relate to...

There is this idea that country music is like just Republican men singing about beer, and trucks and also Jesus,  and that is kind of fair because loads of it is but there are some cool as hell queer/lgbtq+ country artists. Finding those and finding that representation in a genre of music I was literally raised on kind of changed my life in a tiny way and I wanted to share that.

(This is by no means a comprehensive list and also I’m basing the “Country” part of this sometimes on my subjective opinion/limited music knowledge so yuh please don’t hate me if I get some wrong)

Also link below for a Spotify playlist of my favourite gay/gayish country music, some mentioned in this post some not, (with a title that isn’t obviously gay for anyone who can’t openly listen to gay stuff on their public accounts for whatever reason) so feel free to skip the massive essay and just jump straight to that. And pretty please repost if I missed anyone/ any songs you love.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7KB6PmUxnpkU7lih8Bysvw

Artists To Follow:

Chely Wright

- Right off the bat, Chely Wright is a legend and I’m in love with her. So, in the 90′s Chely Wright was kind of a huge deal. She started her career as a singer/songwriter and released her first album in ‘94, which was critically acclaimed although never reached the commercial success of her later works. By ‘97 she was really hitting her stride, dropping her breakout hit “Shut up and Drive” (a personal favourite of mine) followed two years later by the biggest hit of her career “Single White Female”. Throughout all that Chely Wright was, to the world, a good old fashioned, heterosexual southern gal. Privately it was a bit of a different story. She had public relationships with male country artists, all while pursuing a secret decade long relationship with a woman. 

I hadn’t ever really heard a Chely Wright song until a few years ago so I never knew about her music or career pre-coming out but I do know that even though by the time she came out in 2010 she was by no means at the height of her fame Chely Wright is kind of one of the biggest names in country music to be out and proud (in my opinion) and I love her like an insane amount. I literally play her music in my car when I have passengers just so I can be like “fun fact this singer is actually gay-” and then subject them to a lengthy explanation of her entire career. She came out with an album and a memoir and the album is my favourite of her work because it’s so fucking raw and because I relate to most of it immensely. Anyways Chely Wright went fucking through it in her journey to being her authentic self and now she’s out and proud and married to a woman and they have a family together and I’m a fucking sucker for a happy ending and y’all should add her to every playlist you have. And on top of that her music is genuinely good. Coming out undoubtedly damaged her career but I think that

Brandi Carlile 

- As far as I can tell Brandi Carlile has been out her whole career. I feel like this list is just going to be me saying “I’m in love with her” about a bunch of women old enough to be my mother but in my defence, I am honestly in love with her. She’s been making music since she was like, seventeen, and has had a bunch of massive hits, as a singer, songwriter, and producer. If you want to cry kind of happy tears listen to her performance of “Bring my Flowers Now” with Tanya Tucker. She’s won Grammy’s and CMT awards and she’s done it all as an out Queer woman. She’s also a founding member of The Highwomen, an all-female country music group who released their first album in 2019, comprised of Carlile, Marren Morris, Natalie Hemby and Amanda Shires. I really love this band because they’re four artists who are immensely successfully in their own right collabing, much like the Highwaymen, and their music is phenomenal while also being a fuck you to mainstream country music and their inability to properly represent women in country music spaces. 

She’s been married to a woman (smoking hot and also brilliant) since 2012 and they have two kids together and if you want to cry (again) then you have to listen to her song “Mother” about her eldest daughter. A queer country artist absolutely worth adding to all your playlists. 

Brooke Eden

- As I understand it Eden came out publicly in January of this year. She’s engaged to Hilary Hoover, who she’s been dating since 2015 apparently. I can’t even imagine the pressure that must be on a person and how stressful it would be to keep a relationship secret from the whole world for years and personally I think they’re a cute as hell couple and I wish them literally all the happiness in the world. 

Brooke Eden has a few older songs that I think are really good, my favourite being “Act Like You Don’t”, and while her new stuff isn’t my usual country vibe I am a sucker for literally anything gay and it is legally my gay duty to stream any song that she releases to support my fellow queer. It’s quite different to anything Wright or Carlile sing but I actually kind of love that because it shows that country music of all different shapes and sizes and styles can be sung by queer artists. 

Amythyst Kiah

- Okay so I am a very new listener to Amythyst Kiah, but her music is literally so beautiful it would be a straight up sin to not include her on this list. Her music is country-blues-roots esq (more roots than country, I think?) and her voice is so unique. She grew up in Chattanooga and has been playing music since childhood. She recently made her Opry debut which is fucking awesome. She also belongs to a band called Our Native Daughters, described as “A supergroup of Black women in traditional music”. Their debut album “Songs of Our Native Daughters” did numbers and I haven’t listened to the whole thing but my favourite so far are “Black Myself” and “I Knew I Could Fly” so y’all add that to your playlists along with “Wild Turkey” by Amythyst Kiah because holy hell her voice on that will blow your mind.

Steve Grand

-        The first man to make this list, he should frankly be honoured. Grand has been an out and proud gay man making country music since like 2013, and I have so much respect for an artist who chose to simply never be in, choosing instead to simply write gay ass songs about being in love with men and letting the chips fall where they man. His music is always going to have a special place in my heart and, he’s cute so if you’re into men and music by men give him a google. add him to your playlists, his All-American Boy album is literally just a dozen songs that are perfect to yell-sing along to.

Katie Pruitt

-        Not hugely knowledgeable on Katie Pruitt but her music makes me feel crazy intense emotions and is absolutely gay

 Honorable Mention Artists I haven’t Really Listened to But Who I Know to be gay thanks to google and might be your thing so totally check them out:

Brandy Clark

Ty Herndon

Shelly Fairchild

Lavendar Country

Trixie Mattel

Cameron Hawthorn

Drop any other names of artists or songs you know of 

 Specific Songs That Make Me Fucking Cry or (in good and bad ways (but always in a gay way)) or basically are just gay as hell:

If She Ever Leaves Me; The Highwomen

- So, this album came out about a week before my first (and only) girlfriend broke up with me. The general gist of the song is a woman singing about how her loved isn’t ever going to leave her but if she does it sure as hell won’t be for a creepy man in a bar. A little ironic that I felt I related to it so intensely, considering she did in fact leave me. There’s this one lyric that goes “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve lover here out loud/the sky hasn’t always been blue” and my girlfriend and I were crazy deep in the closet so I drew her a cute little picture of a grey cloud and on the back I wrote that lyric and I gave it to her and to me it was kind of a promise that one day I’d get a chance to love her out loud and even though I never actually did this song is forever going to make me cry because of the little bit of hope that lyric gave me and the way it’s inclusion on this overwhelmingly mainstream country album made me feel like acceptance was just that little bit closer. 

 All American Boy; Steve Grand

- Definitely one of the first gay country songs I ever heard, and Steve Grand didn’t once sacrifice a scrap of country for the gay. It’s beautiful, it’s a little sad, it’s hopeful. It’s forever going to hold a special place in my heart and the music videos is kind of one of my favourites ever. I found this song before I found myself and the way it made my heart warm should have been a stronger sign than I took it to be. 

Like Me; Chely Wright

- When you love someone you kind of make it your mission to know them in a way that no one else can. This song by Chely Wright is sort of an ode to that, and how even once you lost someone, you’re still going to know every little thing about them. On top of that it sort of speaks to the idea that all these things Wright learned about this woman, she learned in secret and she knew her and loved her in secret and now that they’re gone from each other she’s left with all of this knowledge and all of these questions and no one to answer them. I love the way it’s so slow and the melody and her voice, the way it’s low and a little raspy, make this one of my favourite Chely Wright songs.

The Mother; Brandi Carlile

-        Sorry but a song about being a mother by a queer woman is going to make me cry every time and actually I’m not that sorry. It’s quite a simple song, if any song written by Brandi Carlile can ever be described as ‘simple’, it’s an ode to her daughter. My favourite line is “you are not an accident/where no one thought it through” because it speaks to the fact that in order for queer women to have a kid together they have to want it so damn bad and also I just like the way her voice sounds on that line. This song is also the perfect thing to listen to if you ever for a second feel like being gay/queer is going to stand in the way of you having a family because it absolutely doesn’t have to and if that’s something you want, you can have it. Don’t let people try and convince you otherwise.

Loving Her; Katie Pruitt

-        Unapologetic gay love. Opening a song with “If loving hers a sin, I don’t wanna go to heaven” is a fucking baller move and she went there. The lyrics are beautiful, and her voice is phenomenal. It could be a sad song, about confronting religious repression and grappling with what that means for your love, but instead its triumphant. Katie Pruitt doesn’t give a fuck if you have a problem because she’s going to write songs for her lover.

Jesus From Texas; Semler

-        Not actually totally sure this is a country song, but it has the words ‘Jesus’ and ‘Texas’ in the title so I feel safe including it in this list. Honestly, I don’t really know why I relate so hard to this song. Like, I wasn’t really raised with religion, so I don’t know what it is about this funky little tune that makes me want to sob but there’s something about this tune that makes me want to do whatever the opposite of get up and dance is, but like, in a good way.

Lovin’ Again; Steve Grand

-        Breakup song that ends kind of positively? So good to sing along to at high, high volumes. The idea that losing someone doesn’t have to mean losing yourself and just because you can’t love them doesn’t mean you’re not ever going to love again. But also kind of about how it’s hard to get over someone, I don’t know it’s just good.

Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears; Lavender Country

-        Jesus christ if this isn’t the coolest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Sorry but a gay country group formed in 1972 who dropped possibly the first gay themed country album, and this was the title of one of the songs. God I am in love.

 Songs that (to me) are a little fruity or that I just relate to in a gay way:

Picket Fences; Chely Wright

-          Chely Wright is gay but this song came out long before she did and when she wrote it, it wasn’t supposed to be gay which is why it’s in this section and not the previous. The reason it’s included at all is because frankly ma’am, Mrs Wright, it’s a little fruity. And I feel a little bad for joking because honestly to me, the way I hear this song and knowing the context (that Wright was deeply closeted at the time she wrote and released it), it’s kind of just sad. The general gist of the song is Wright asking what’s so great about a traditional lifestyle anyways. It could be read as a woman genuinely questioning why we push that expectation that she’ll have two kids and a husband and a picket fence lifestyle, or even could be read as a woman who’s trying to deflect how much she does in fact want that, you have to listen and form your own opinion. But to me, it feels like a woman who’s desperately trying to justify why she doesn’t want that life not because she can’t have it, but she knows it will never be right for her. I don’t know it’s hard to explain I just feel like this song is a little bit gay even though I’m sure she didn’t intend that.

Sinning with You; Sam Hunt

-          Sorry but this song is gay. Sorry but you can’t write the lines “I never felt like I was sinning with you/Always felt like I could talk to God in the morning” and “if it’s so wrong why did it feel so right” and “But I never felt shame, never felt sorry/Never felt guilty touching your body” and not to mention the opening line of “raised in the first pew/praises for yeshua/case of a small town repression”, and expect to not sit in my car sobbing as I realised that while I never felt like what we did was a sin she absolutely did, and wishing I could have told her that I was sorry for making her carry the weight of both our souls but also that it wasn’t a sin and nothing in the world could feel that good and be that bad and it isn’t right that she had to be so ashamed of something that was just so good. Sam Hunt actually said after he wrote the song that while it was reflection on his own relationship with faith he genuinely hopes that people in the lgbtq community can like find comfort or whatever in his words and like go off king, we stan an ally.

  How do I Get There; Deana Carter

-          This ones easy, it’s about falling in love with your best friend and suddenly realising you want more than just friendship with them. Sorry Deana, that’s gay. In my Deana Carter of like Year 10 I played this song on repeat and screamed along to the lyrics as though singing it hard enough would make her like me back.

[attemptsonherlifepdf]

attempts on her life: an exploration of victimhood, theatre and self-empowerment as modern feminine survival tactics

trigger warning for discussions of suicide, self harm, sexual assault, fetishism, eating disorders, implications of paedophilia and violence

‘is she not saying, your help oppresses me? is she not saying, the only way to avoid being a victim of the patriarchal structures of late 20th century capitalism is to become her own victim?’ martin crimp’s 1997 play, attempts on her life, was first performed at the royal court theatre upstairs the year of its release. written ‘for a company of actors whose composition should reflect the world beyond theatre’, the play explores the seedier, harsher aspects of reality, including pornography, ethnic violence and suicide. crimp’s central character, anne, is characterised as unique and empowered, but most importantly she is characterised by narrators and other characters describing her. the irony of a woman described as so empowered having so little voice of her own throughout the play is crucial to the question the play poses: is liberation from patriarchal constraints even possible, or do acts of reclamation serve to eventually end up catering to the male gaze regardless?

the scene ‘untitled (100 words)’ details anne’s self-destruction, manifesting in ‘various attempts to kill herself.’ it is an effort to replace being a victim of ‘patriarchal structures’ with being a victim of her own actions and emotions. arguably though, this effort may not be entirely fruitful as anne’s behaviour produces the same result she would achieve through allowing herself to cater to traditional expectations: a helpless victim of the male gaze. anne’s actions are presented as exhibitionist; while motivated by her own suicidal ideation, her attempts to take her life work as ‘a kind of theatre for a world in which theatre itself has died.’ she leaves a ‘gallery’ of memorabilia surrounding her attempts, including ‘medicine bottles, records of hospital admissions polaroids of the several hiv positive with whom she has intentionally had unprotected intercourse, pieces of broken glass...suicide notes…’ a narrator describes this exhibition as ‘the spectacle of her own existence, the radical pronography...the religious object.’ the semantic field of language in this scene associated with anne’s suicide attempts is littered with sexualisation and ideas of performance: ‘its sexy...voeyuers...pornography...object of herself...to be consumed...self-indulgent...entertaining.’ this opens up a dialogue between the narrators that evaluates her suicidal behaviour as a piece of artwork. one asks ‘who would possibly accept this kind of undigested exhibitionism as a work of art?’ while the other offers the idea that ‘gestures of radicalism take on new meaning in a society where the radical gesture is simply one more form of entertainment - in this case artwork - to be consumed.’ as uncomfortable as it is to suggest, anne’s suicidality is both fetishised and commodified, something that is partially her own doing. the concepts of ‘pure narcissism’ and ‘self-indulgence’ are attributed to her performance, along with one of the narrators pushing for her to receive psychiatric treatment. an obvious but viable interpretation of anne’s ‘gallery’ is that it is an exaggerated cry for help, where she lays out the evidence of her mental state in the hopes of receiving validation or assistance. this idea is disputed by this narrator’s counterpart, who suggests that ‘help is the last thing she wants.’ the sexualised language used and the repeated hints at exhibitionism could indicate that her performance is for the purpose of her own sexual pleasure: ‘surely our presence [the audience] here makes us mere voyeurs in bedlam.’ in forcing those around her to witness her mental decline, anne may be participating in fetishism. she certainly is acting with the intention of performing, and of being watched.

this is where the idea of empowerment and reclamation comes in. anne forces her peers into watching, something that she gets pleasure from, and this arguably serves as a reversal of typical sexual dynamics which place men in dominant, pleasure-receiving roles roles. in self-destructive behaviours, she reclaims her body and chooses to destroy it herself rather than allowing others to do it to her. however, in the process of doing so she achieves the same result that she would if she were allowing her environment to shape her into an object of the male gaze; that is to say, a helpless object. men’s stereotypical attraction to what ibsen referred to as ‘feminine helplessness’ tends to be the driving force of the objectification of women. it can be argued that this objectification is inevitable and thus anne’s efforts to control the means by which it occurs is the closest she can get to liberating herself from it. finding a way to enjoy or bear something painful and inevitable serves as a survival mechanism; ‘not the object of others, but the object of herself.’

the aesthetic framing of anne’s violence against herself is incredibly significant to its relevance as a piece of artwork. in ‘aesthetic violence and women in film: kill bill with flying daggers’, kupfer argues that film, and by extension plays and scripts, aesthetically frame violence in three ways: symbolically, structurally, and as a narrative essential. anne’s violence can be characterised as self harm and fulfills these three framings. symbolically it is an act of free will and a reclamation of her own body, an opportunity to enjoy her ‘inevitable’ objectification. structurally, the scene ‘untitled (100 words)’ occurs five scenes after the last discussion of anne’s suicidality within the play, a scene titled ‘mum and dad.’ this sets up certain aspects of anne’s performative nature in advance. after a suicide attempt she describes ‘[feeling] like a screen’ to her parents: ‘where everything from the front looks real and alive, but round the back there’s just dust and a few wires...an absence of character.’ here she details an experience of feeling disconnected from herself beyond her performance. the act of using performance as a means of openly criticising performance is certainly subversive, and is a device seen in more modern media, such as bojack horseman (‘i felt like a xerox of a xerox of a xerox...not my character’) and in bo burnham’s ‘inside.’ crimp uses his play to propose ideas about the nature of acting, particularly its role in the lives of women. the sentiment of acting being a survival tactic for women is echoed in much earlier texts, such as ibsen’s ‘a doll’s house.’ throughout the play nora caters to her husband’s infantalised fantasies of her whenever he is present, and doing so results in him giving her an allowance and certain limited but significant moments of freedom. torvald admits, ‘i would not be a man if your feminine helplessness did not make you doubly attractive in my eyes’ and repeatedly states that he wishes some ‘terrible fate’ would befall his wife so that he could have the pleasure of rescuing her. anne’s performance of suicidality, of feeling ‘beyond help’, would likely be received by men similarly to how nora’s childish facade is received by her husband, as a fantasy that involves saving her for their own sense of pleasure and accomplishment. however, what makes anne’s behaviour ‘radical’ is her refusal to accept help. she recognises that her feelings of hopelessness are fetishised and argues that ‘your help oppresses me.’ this sentiment is also reflected in ‘a doll’s house’; nora must refuse torvald’s money and help in order to pursue her own freedom in the final act. catering to his idealised image of a wife only served to help her survive her household, not to prosper or be her individual self. she had to leave the environment which forced her to perform behind entirely in order to discover who she is beyond the act. not accepting help is anne’s version of this, but the narrators consider the idea that even in isolating her act to only include herself, anne still cannot escape objectification. her ‘radical gesture’ of destroying herself and laying out the evidence of her behaviour is ‘simply one more form of entertainment, one more product… to be consumed.’ an earlier scene, titled ‘the camera loves you’ includes the line ‘we need to go for the sexiest scenario’, a statement which accurately summarises the likely reception to anne’s ‘dialogue of objects.’ arguably another aspect of what makes anne’s predicament ‘the sexiest scenario’ is that even within the text itself she is the subject of the conversation, but rarely a participant. anne is described by narrators, art critics, her parents, her family, etc, but only ever speaks for herself when her defiant statements are being quoted by one of these narrators. descriptions of her self-inflicted violence fit kupfer’s final framing: a narrative essential.

interestingly, the play consists of a somewhat non-linear narrative, where each of its 17 scenes has its own plot unconnected to that of the last. as a result, a narrative essential in ‘attempts on her life’ would be a device, or in this case an instance of violence, which builds our understanding of both anne and the play’s messages, rather than a traditional narrative essential which would drive the plot forwards. the play delivers multiple instances of various forms of violence, ranging from ethnic violence to self harm to forced pornography. anne���s self-injury in particular is framed just prior to and just after the midpoint of the play. before the midpoint, the audience learns of her ‘terrible detachment’ from the character she plays, how she ‘feels like a screen.’ the midpoint, a scene titled ‘the international threat of terrorism™’ opens with a brief analysis of a statement made by anne: ‘i do not recognise your authority.’ the speaker asks, ‘does she really imagine that anything can justify her acts of random senseless violence?’ ‘random’ and ‘senseless’ seem ill-fitting qualities to attribute to anne’s violence, particularly given that her parents state ‘she’s planned all this.’ however, this midpoint scene states ‘no one can find anne’s motive’, seemingly the reason that the speaker cannot see a possible justification for her behaviour. choosing not to recognise the authority of those around her is yet another aspect of our protagonist’s performance that is ‘radical.’ in neglecting to acknowledge the power of those objectifying her, anne is achieving two things; either she is allowing herself to experience her own body and emotions without it being for the sake of others, or she is allowing herself to be fetishised and is simply in denial of it. her defiance is complex and the results of it, and indeed the motivations behind it, are difficult to ascertain.

martin crimp’s use of 17 separate individual scenes rather than a traditional singular plot narrative allows the audience to gain a multifaceted understanding of many multifaceted issues. anne is placed and acts within varying contexts such as her own personal self destruction, destruction of land that comes with ethnic cleansing, the commodification of female bodies and two different familial structures. the scene ‘the camera loves you’ emphasises how anne is an ‘everywoman’ but rather than this term being used to describe an average woman in daily life, it instead refers to a woman who is, simply put, everything. anne is described in the scene ‘girl next door’ as ‘the girl next door...royalty…a pornographic movie star...a killer and a brand of car...a terrorist threat...a mother of three...femme fatale...a presidential candidate...a predator…’ by not allocating a specific speaker to each line, crimp allows the director to decide who describes anne and in what way. lines such as ‘what we see here is the work of a girl who clearly should have been admitted, not to an art school but to a psychiatric unit’ can be spoken by a parent, an art critic, a teacher, anyone, and the relation of the speaker to anne is what characterises the comment and thus characterises her. someone described as ‘self indulgent’ by a parent is very different to someone described the same way by a lover. this means that anne is not just every woman, but every woman to everyone. by placing this ‘everywoman’ in such a range of contexts, she arguably becomes a plot device used to convey meaning, and it can be argued that this negates the more empowered features of her character. it is entirely common for female characters to be reduced to plot devices, however most often when this occurs, the character is two-dimensional. anne, on the other hand, is consistently given additional layers to her character in every scene; she exists to be characterised. excessive use of character description in conjunction with limited speaking time is either evidence that crimp’s writing is atypical in style but not theme, or that it is poignant.

arguably, by giving anne countless traits and emphasising ideas of performance and media, crimp is using his 17 scenes as an extreme example of the commodification of female bodies. anne is sold to the audience as this larger-than-life persona, someone who fulfils a million roles in subversive ways that are interesting to watch, but she still ‘feels like a screen.’ again, this sentiment of the effects of performance on an actor is echoed in many modern texts and pieces of media, but ‘attempts on her life’ makes this point in specific reference to women. real life examples of anne’s treatment exist, and her ‘everywoman’ role allows audiences to relate anne to any number of women existing in media. the way that others only talk about anne when describing or evaluating her mimics the way that agencies and record labels create a solid branding for their actors, musicians, and so on. this brand becomes an intrinsic part of their genuine personality as they cannot be caught behaving in a way that is not consistent with it. acting becomes a constant, and these women are constantly selling a brand or persona, and have very little space to behave in ways that feel true to themselves instead. acting ‘out of character’ results in the loss of public support, funding from agencies, job offers, etc, and thus the character created for celebrities is vital to their survival in their respective industries. as previously discussed, traditional texts argue the importance of theatre for women’s survival just as much, namely ibsen’s ‘a doll’s house.’ the same way nora must leave the environment that forces her to act in order to be happy or individual, anne must do the same; but her attempts at suicide suggest that the environment forcing her performance is not a household or an industry, but ‘the patriarchal structures of late twentieth century capitalism.’ either she dies or ‘becomes her own victim’ in an attempt to escape constant performance, but even her death becomes somewhat performative. even dead, many female celebrities continue their branding through martyrdom. there is very little room for one to make art detailing suicide, sex, and the like without seemingly crossing the line between expression and glorification. women who suffer are not necessarily acting, but as their suffering is a part of their life experience, it becomes interwoven in their branding or public image: amy winehouse’s experiences with alcoholism and bulimia come to mind. winehouse never glorified alcoholism herself, but songs such as ‘rehab’ and documentaries covering her illness released after her death have certainly been accused of doing so. agencies and other creatives took advantage of winehouse’s struggles in order to perform their own ‘activism’ or ‘spreading of awareness.’

in light of ‘attempts on her life’ and the concepts surrounding performance that it poses, we must consider: is liberation from patriarchal constraints even possible, or do acts of reclamation serve to eventually end up catering to the male gaze regardless? it would not be accurate to the play’s style and purpose to try to make one singular conclusion to this question. crimp uses varying styles and contexts in order to showcase the various aspects there are to this issue; the necessity of performance, the constraints it leads to, the sexualisation of suffering, brand maintenance, and so on. anne’s lack of voice in this play can be read either as an example of the very thing the play criticises, or simply just poor usage of character, and the former feels most appropriate for crimp’s writing style. the play implies that victimhood can be intrinsic to womanhood, but presents anne’s defiance as ideallised, encouraging it. theatre can be used as both a survival mechanism and a method of empowerment, but the play posits that it is only empowering to a certain extent; it allows one to control the means by which they are objectified but not to actually avoid objectification. one can behave in undesirable manners, such as anne’s displays of suicidality and exhibitionism, but then we must examine their motivations. is anne behaving in this way solely based upon her low mental health? or is the fact that she is also engaging in a form of exhibitionism and forcing an audience evidence of her sexualising her own experience? if so, her sexualisation of suicidal behaviour likely stems from the ‘patriarchal structures’ she is working to avoid being a victim of, suggesting that it is not possible to liberate oneself from them. anne is evidence that women are not separate from the patriarchy, but active participants in it as it is a collection of ideals engraved into western society. it would be unfair and somewhat dejected to conclude that these ideals cannot be unlearned, but ‘attempts on her life’ certainly illustrates that unlearning them is a more active and difficult task than simply holding a feminist ideology.

i.k.b

[thejustmaiden]

Jaken = Rin's Dad?

Okay, is this how a daughter treats their so-called father?

Most definitely not.

Rin and Jaken's relationship clearly screams of your typical sibling rivalry punctuated with cute and silly moments of playful bickering.

Yes, Jaken may technically be her main provider, but that doesn't necessarily equate to him being more of a father than Sesshomaru. If anything, he demonstrates more of a brotherly love towards her. As we all know, parents (which Sesshomaru embodies more based on real life patterns and parallels) will leave their older more capable children in charge of looking after their younger brothers and sisters. In this case, that would mean making Jaken responsible for watching over Rin and protecting her if need be. Ah-Un offers protection, too. Think of it as Jaken as the big brother and Ah-Un as the family dog who are babysitting while Sesshomaru as the parent of the household is away at work or taking care of business. I mean, they literally fit that description to a tee and I'm dying at the accuracy of it all! 🤣👌

[Quick! Someone write up a modern au where Sesshomaru finally gets out to have a nice date night but everything goes wrong in the most spectacular way. Like maybe Rin and Jaken catch a ride on Ah-Un to go spy!]

I recently revisited some episodes from The Final Act, and I couldn't believe how many moments like this there were where Rin got after Jaken or when she would "put him in his place" so to speak. Obviously, all of it is mostly harmless. I was only surprised by how often it occurred, not to mention how Jaken would just stand there and take it. Towards a supposed father figure, Rin's behavior is downright unacceptable. There's a certain level of respect a child is expected to show their parents/guardians, and that's just not what I'm witnessing here between them. Like at all.

Rather their dynamic has the nature of some sibling relationships like I mentioned above. So I really wish fans would stop pretending otherwise, because based on what we know of father-daughter relationships- healthy ones at least- they don't appear anything like what Jaken and Rin have. If you could please provide me other examples of where we've seen similar portrayals in fiction or in real life, then perhaps I can get on board.

Look, that doesn't have to mean that because Jaken isn't her father then Sesshomaru must be. They can both be her caretakers without necessarily filling that traditional father role. I'm just saying that if we're going to start assigning titles to characters, let's make sure we are accurate and truthful in our assessments. If you're going to label anyone Rin's dad, then it needs to be Sesshomaru. Jaken doesn't have precedence over him in terms of fatherly attributes, that just wouldn't make sense.

After all, this isn't about what you want to see, this is about what Rin very likely sees. It's safe to assume that she views Sesshomaru more like a father than she does Jaken. She knows she's safe with him (broadly speaking lol) and that he'll come for her no matter what. That sense of security and comfort is what a child seeks and what they should always feel in a parent's presence. She trusts and even idolizes him, just as a young and innocent child tends to do with their parents. At that age, parents are perfect and could do no wrong in their child's eyes. Idk about you, but this describes perfectly how Rin is around Sesshomaru.

Rin adores him and will follow him anywhere- yes, even into danger! That's what the innocence and unconditional love of a child will bring them to do if necessary. Fortunately, at the end of The Final Act we learn Sesshomaru takes Kaede's advice when he realizes that leaving Rin with her in the village is in her best interests. That way she'd be able to lead a more normal and safer life alongside other humans. Remember, Sessrin shippers, that doesn't mean he wasn't still a part of her life and didn't witness her become a young woman over the years right before his very eyes. Therefore, if they eventually do become romantically involved, then most if not all of those gifts had intimate and seductive intentions and it essentially constitutes as child grooming.

I understand from a Sessrin shipper's point of view why it'd be so much easier to claim Jaken as the father. In doing so, they diminish Sesshomaru's role in her upbringing. By refusing to acknowledge the real role he had in helping raise Rin (short periods can be crucial and impressionable too esp. in a child's early years so yes they did assist in raising her not only Kaede), these shippers are better able to justify how their filial-like relationship evolved into a romantic one. So yeah, I get it, if I were a Sessrin shipper I'd probably do the same. It's one of the more plausible arguments available to them, after all. "Let's pin Jaken as the father to fend off antis!" is the best chance they've got, but even so, it's still not good enough. But if you insist Jaken is indeed like a father to Rin, then Sesshomaru is most certainly one too. Who says she can't have two fathers anyway?

The thing is however much you want to deny or downplay what Sesshomaru truly means to Rin and vice versa, nothing will ever change or hide the truth of the matter. Please, stop acting like they're only traveling companions and nothing more. Some of y'all even go so far as to say that they're like strangers. Knowing potentially little about a person is not equal to a lack of love and affection. Making big assumptions such as this to defend your ship is actually doing you more harm than good. Let me elaborate.

According to your reasoning, if that's all Rin ever was to him was a companion and Sesshomaru had no real attachment to her, then what precisely is the basis of your ship? Recall that Adult!Rin doesn't exist yet, thus we have no real idea what she will be like or if she's even alive. So how can you make comments like that but then go on later to say "they have such a unique and unbreakable bond" or "only Rin can be the mother because she's the only human he ever cared for" if all that time spent traveling together didn't amount to much in the first place like you claimed to believe beforehand? Do you see how your rationalizing is confusing?

Contrary to what some of you may think, I'm not just saying all this because I'm an anti and I'm obligated to disagree with you, or whatever other excuse you want to tell yourself. Believe it or not, I'm attempting to give as unbiased and objective of an analysis I can based on widely accepted interpretations of family dynamics, development, and any history we know of.

Of course I respect that at times fans will perceive things differently since that's bound to happen. What's hard for me to wrap my head around however is the unwillingness of some fans- not exclusively Sessrin shippers- to apply basic common sense and sound judgment to their observations and deductions.

Looking at all our facts, then taking the small handful of scenes Sesshomaru and Rin do share together into account, one can logically conclude that their dynamic is akin to one found in a typical parent-child relationship. If you still fail to recognize Sesshomaru as a parent to Rin, then that's fine too. In the end, that won't really change the fact that he'd still take on a role resembling an adult figure overseeing a young child's care and protection. Be it as a vassal, guardian, what have you. Plus, nobody is saying here that Sesshomaru doesn't make mistakes regarding Rin's general well-being, but so do all parents. Overall, I think the majority of us agree that Rin is in good hands. Whether it's in his direct company or in his occasional supervision from his frequent visits to the village.

In other words, it doesn't really matter what exact title you assign him in relation to Rin, as the distribution of power is all inherently the same with any and all adult-child relationships. That bond never changes once you've established it either, seeing as it's a special kind of connection one can only form with a child and a child alone.

I was a teacher for a few years, and speaking from personal experience, you don't need to be a parent, per se, to take on a role of authority in a child's life. I know without a doubt that I could never and will never view any of those kids I taught in a sexual/romantic light later down the road; yes, not even once they become grown-ups who are independent and more than capable of making their own decisions. Those of you who disagree are usually missing the whole point though, because we're not trying to dictate what Adult!Rin can and cannot do like many tend to accuse of us doing. This isn't a question of taking away from her autonomy nor does it fall under "purity culture," which is why people shouldn't continue jumping to these outrageous conclusions and really listen for a change. You're deflecting from the real issue here when you choose to misinterpret what we're saying by ignoring the problem we're actually referring to. You cannot present a valid counter-argument if you persist in twisting our words.

Bottom line: once these kids become old enough to pursue a sexual/romantic relationship, of course they have that right if they're ready. All we're trying to say is you guys ought to stop pushing forward this it's-completely-normal-to-want-to-bang-your-adoptive-dad-since-you're-an-adult-and-can-do-as-you-please agenda and not expect backlash. Ship it if you want, but please stop acting like their romance would be the epitome of a pure and healthy relationship.

Sesshomaru may not wear his heart on his sleeve, but it's foolish to presume he didn't actually care about Rin during their whole time together just because he didn't openly express his feelings until the very end. Surely everybody can comprehend that people handle and process their emotions differently. The way Sesshomaru chooses to is completely valid for the most part, so let's cut him some slack regarding this already.

What I'm trying to get at is that any child whose life you played an influential role in will always be a kid in a lot ways to you even when they're old and wrinkly. Just as they will always picture you as the loved one who guided and protected them when they were most vulnerable and couldn't always fend for themselves. Can't we relate this to children we know personally and apply it accordingly?

Finally, I want to end on this note. Could you kindly take a look at these two images below for a second?

The reason I ask is because of something I recently read that's relevant to the topic. There was this pro-sessrin tweet I saw that stated Rin trying to take care of Sesshomaru when they first met is what a mom would do for a child, which in their opinion, translates to Rin being more like a mother than a daughter if anything.

First off: are you freaking kidding me????

Seriously, so now children aren't allowed to tend to their sick or injured parents?! Parents are apparently superhuman and shouldn't be offered a helping hand from a child, even if they mean well and want to help their parent who's in pain?? Now this Twitter user was mostly being a smartass, but at the same time, it was evident they genuinely thought they offered a valid enough point that warranted no further explanation or clarification.

Secondly, by saying this Sessrin fans don't seem to realize that in actuality they're contradicting themselves and proving the point we've been trying to make all along. Glancing at the first picture and moving down to the second, the role of the one being cared for and the caretaker is reversed. So then by their own logic, Sesshomaru IS in fact like a father to Rin.

What it comes down to is the names you give to the roles these characters play aren't as crucial as the dynamic they share. The specific characteristics of that dynamic are what define the importance of said role, not so much the name in the role itself. So real father or not, Sesshomaru and Rin clearly mean a lot to each other. Close relationships are defined and solidified by the devotion and belonging they have to one another, not solely by the duration of time spent together and their proximity.

Well, that's a wrap! I hope you guys got something outta this blog, and that you enjoyed or found some portions of it interesting. I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject from this fandom, but only engage in conversation if you plan to be respectful. Thank you!

[warrioreowynofrohan]

The Leithian Reread - Canto VIII (Lúthien in Nargothrond)

(Trigger warning: discussion of attempted rape.)

Lots of things going on in this canto!

The beginning of this canto is the first introduction of Huan to the story - though he must have been in Nargothrond when Beren was there, he is not mentioned there. Throughout the rest of the poetic Leithian, when Hian is mentioned, variations on the phrase “voices like the deeptoned bells / that ring in Valmar’s citadels” will occur; it’s the poetic equivalent of a musical motif.

The action of the chapter begins with Celegorm and Curufin, who are (purportedly) hunting wolves to defend Nargothrond and (in actuality) seeking news of Finrod and Beren. They’ve moved from betrayal and usurpation in their previous appearance to now being willing to personally murder Finrod if they get the chance: Curufin says to his brother that if by chance they come across Finrod and he has a Silmaril - I need declare no more in words; but one by right is thine (and ours), the jewel of light; another may be won - a throne. The eldest blood our house dost own. The last line is interesting in being an outright statement that Celegorm and Curufin are acting in part out of resentment around the kingship. It’s not hard to extrapolate from The Silmarillion’s statement that not all Maedhros’ brothers agreed with his abdication to connect it with Celegorm and Curufin’s later actions in Nargothrond, but I don’t recall if the prose version of the Leithian there explictly makes that connection. The poetic version does.

In the course of the wolf-hunt, the brothers come upon Lúthien, who is caught by Huan. The half-Maia-half-elf who later manages to enchant and defeat, among others, Sauron, Carcharoth and Morgoth can do nothing against Huan - even the magic sleep-cloak has no effect. Importantly, Lúthien does not know that these are soms of Fëanor - they introduce themselves only as “lords of Nargothrond”, and she would not know what they look like. Indeed, it’s not clear if there was ever any direct meeting between them and any of the Doriathrim prior to this point. Mablung and Daeron went to the Mereth Aderthad and so would have met some of the Noldor, but Celegorm and Curufin were not there (among his brothers, Maedhros brought only Maglor with him to that conference, likely out of concern that the others would cause trouble). Thus, Lúthien has no reason not to trust them - all se knows is that they are liegemen of her cousin Finrod. (She and Finrod would be, I think, first cousins once removed - she Thingol’s daughter, and he’s a grandson of Thingol’s brother Olwë.) She would know Finrod personally, given that he has spent time in Doriath, and she knows about the Ring of Barahir and Finrod’s debt to Beren, so this meeting would seem very fortunate, and an obvious avenue to pursue for finding allies.

Notably and disturbingly, the narrative here indicates that Celegorm and Curufin both lust after Lúthien, though Celegorm (the elder of the two, and unmarried) is the one they ultimately try to force her into marriage with. It is not usual for wedded elves to desire anyone other than their spouse (Finwë is the only case of remarriage, and so far as we’re told the only case of an elf wanting to remarry, and that was after his previous spouse had specifically said she never wanted to return to life), so that’s an additional red flag in their behaviour being well outside Elven norms.

I think there’s something important in Lúthien’s character revealed by the lines Of her escape and the marvellous mantle she did shape she lightly tells, but words her fail recalling sunlight in the vale, moonlight, starlight in Doriath ere Beren took the perilous path. Lúthien’s not interested in her own accomplishments, she’s not proud; she speaks lightly of her (magically, very impressive) escape. She cares about being with the person she loves, not about being regarded as a hero. And that’s immediate contrast with Celegorm and Curufin’s conversation earlier in the chapter about how to use the wolf-hunt to make themselves look good to the Nargothrondim. It also forms a parallel to Beren’s conversation with Finrod in Canto VI, where he speaks briefly (‘recounted soon’) of his deeds as a guerilla in Dorthonion, but ‘words him fail’ when remembering Lúthien - the same phrase used above. The two people who achieve what is probably the greatest deed in the history of Beleriand do not care about their reputations, fame, or glory, but simply about each other.

On the journey back to Nargothrond, Lúthien and Hian are both troubled and suspect that their travel is deliberately slower than it could be. Their suspicions are correct, and upon arrival at Nargothrond Lúthien is made a prisoner. This is done openly - it was not hid in Nargothond that Fëanor’s sons held her in bond - and Orodreth is aware that their goal is to force her into marriage in order to force Doriath to ally with them. For elves, there is no distinction between sex and marriage - they are one and the same; ‘political marriage’ does not exist - so, yes, this is a rape attempt. It manages to get even creepier by the implication that although the forced marriage would be to Celegorm, as stated in the Silmarillion, Curufin is also pursuing Lúthien physically. Or that’s the obvious conclusion from the earlier line Curufin looked with hot desire on Lúthien combined with the later line, after Lúthien has befriended Huan, Curufin thereafter never near might win to Lúthien, nor touch that maid, but shrank from Huan’s fangs afraid.

And this brings us to what is, for me, the central question of this Canto. Given that Celegorm and Curufin’s behaviour here is deeply un-elvish - rape is essentially unimaginable to elves, and the a t would kill any elf who committed it, along with their victim - why does no one do anything to stop it? Why does all Nargothrond, Arafinwëans and Fëanorians alike, go along with it? It must haunt them, later, that they did - not only with regards to Lúthien, but because if she had bern able to escape just one day earlier than she did, Finrod would still be alive. Nobody can decieve themselves that theur actions didn’t matter - the intervention of any one person on her behalf, in helping her escape, could have tipped the balance, could have enabled her to get to Tol-in-Gaurhoth just that little bit sooner. The strongest explanation I can think of for their mass inactions is that 1) they’ve decided that attacking Tol-in-Gaurhoth would be doomed to defeat and 2) they think Lúthien being imprisoned in Nargothrond is marginally better than her running off to Tol-in-Gaurhoth and getting imprisoned by Sauron, which is what would happen if she got out. After all, nothing terrible has happened to her yet.

As I’ve discussed before, Celegorm and Curufin’s plan, in addition to being immoral, is idiotic on so many levels. As stated above, the only possible consequence of a marriage between Celegorm and Lúthien is the death of both of them, which would absolutely start a war with Doriath. (Does Celegorm recognize this? Almost certainly not. Rapists tend not to regard themselves as rapists. He’s most likely decieving himself with some idea of ‘she’ll come around eventually’.) There is no reason for Thingol, in any circumstance, to respond to this plan by allying with the Fëanorians, and every reason for him to regard it as an act of war. Even in a hypothetical circumstance where Lúthien consented, Thingol would still have no reason to ally with them. Marriage alliances among humans are based in the concept of inheritance - the couple’s child will eventually succeed to the throne - and that’s a moot point among a race of immortals. Even in the event of Thingol’s death, the chances of the Doriathrim accepting a Fëanorian as their king are nil. The. Fëanorians. Can. Gain. Nothing. From. This.

The downward spiral of the Fëanorians, halted for 400 years by Maedhros’ choices, begins again in the Leithian, and one of its hallmarks is that their actions are not only evil, but counterproductively evil. Anything they do that is related to the Oath tends both towards evil and towards making their own situation worse. Celegorm and Curufin are lucky that Lúthien escapes. Indeed, one has to wonder if Huan’s assistance was not solely on Lúthien’s behalf, but also a means of saving his master’s life in the only way he still could.

[emy-loves-you]

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 2

Breakfast and Disney

Virgil decides to text Roman again. They have a fun argument over Disney movies.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and sex, vulgar language, and openly trans character

Chapter 1 | Masterlist | Chapter 3

Virgil woke up to a splitting headache. He immediately screwed his eyes shut, hands going to grip his hair. The lights were too bright, his throat was too dry, and he’s pretty sure there’s someone sleeping next to him. What the hell happened?

The memories hit him like a freight train. Arriving late to the party, meeting Mr. Sanders (“Call me Thomas,” he had said, flashing his perfect smile with his perfect teeth and perfect lips), and signing him up as a potential producer. Technically they had enough money and popularity to keep their band afloat without a producer, but to get such an influential man on their team was a dream come true. They got back to Janus’ house at around 2 AM, where they promptly got wasted. Virgil could still taste whatever expensive shit Janus had grabbed from the cellar. Speaking of Janus...

Virgil slowly opened his eyes, nearly hissing at the light shining through the giant windows. He looked over from his spot on the floor (how did he get there?) and found Janus and Remus cuddling together, a bottle of wine nestled between them. Remus was drooling, and Virgil noticed multiple hickeys along Janus’ throat. Virgil smiled as he got up. His two friends and essentially brothers had an odd relationship, but Virgil respected it. It was obvious that they were in love, but they didn’t want to put a label on it yet. They had offered for Virgil to join them, but he had declined. While Virgil did care for the other two deeply, he didn’t share the same spark that they did.

Virgil eventually found his way to the bathroom, quickly losing whatever remained in his stomach. He sat on the cold tile, waiting for the nausea to pass. He hadn’t drank that much in a long time. He should ask Janus if he can bring one of those bottles home. He’ll probably bitch for a few days (Janus liked to use alcohol as an excuse for Virgil to come over) but he’ll get over it.

Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz

Virgil grabbed his phone out of his jacket pocket (why was he still wearing his jacket?) and turned off his 10 AM alarm. He almost always woke up before his alarm went off, but his anxiety made him use the alarm anyways. He quickly checked for any new messages, and noticed his rather lackluster response to Roman helping him yesterday. He helped me get through an anxiety attack, and all I had to say was ‘thank you?’ The least I could do is apologize. Before his hungover brain could remind him of how stupid of an idea that was, he had already sent a text.

V- (10:02 AM) Hey, I just wanted to apologize for last night. You ended up being right, my friend was just running late. I ended up having a pretty good time, all things considered. Thanks for helping me through that attack. It meant a lot to me. I was still a little disoriented last night so I wasn’t wanting to type much. Again, thank you for helping a stranger. You're a good guy, Princey.

Before Virgil could second-guess himself, he locked his phone and got up. He quickly took some painkillers and went to find some form of a healthy breakfast. Virgil had always been self-conscious of how he looked, so he tended to eat light and work out when possible. He ended up finding enough eggs and veggies to make a few omelets. Virgil decided to make his last, knowing that Remus and Janus would be awake before the first one was finished. Sure enough, as soon as the first omelet was ready to be flipped, Remus was skipping into the kitchen, dragging a disgruntled Janus behind him. How that man had any energy this early in the morning with a hangover was a mystery to Virgil. He quickly served Remus his omelet, who proceeded to pour an obscene amount of salt onto it. Virgil cringed as he turned to make Janus’ omelet. He tuned out their conversation until he heard his name.

“Well I think Virgil should sleep with him-”

Virgil whipped around so fast that he almost burned himself on the stove. “WHAT?!?”

Remus scoffed, twirling his fork between his fingers. “While Tomathy did seem pretty convinced last night, a little bit of extra persuasion never hurt anybody. While I would normally volunteer, I don’t think that man has ever seen a vagina, much less wants to fuck one. And he seemed to be afraid of Janny over here, so you’re it, pumpkin.”

Virgil blushed, turning back to omelet making. Janus sighed, “Remus, darling, I don’t believe that Mr. Sanders requires any more... incentive. However, if Virgil decided to pursue that type of relationship with him... I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Virgil let out a squeak, his face even redder as he gave Janus his food. Remus laughed. “What’s the matter, Veevee? Cat got your dick? Even if you don’t sleep with Mr. Business, you should still get around more! Sex is good for the soul.”

Virgil flipped him off, resulting in another chuckle. He turned back to make his own omelet. Sure, Virgil hadn’t been in a relationship since, well, ever, but that wasn’t his fault! He just hadn’t found the right person yet, that’s all! Besides, Virgil didn’t do one night stands. The idea of sleeping with a stranger left a knot in his stomach.

By the time Virgil sat down with his omelet, Remus was already done. He started bouncing around ideas for new songs, with Virgil or Janus occasionally adding their own ideas.

Bzzz

Virgil glanced at his phone, seeing that he had a response from Roman. He went to unlock his phone.

“Who’s that?”

Virgil jumped, staring face-to-face with Janus. He could see where Janus’ question was coming from, since before now Virgil only ever texted Janus and Remus. “Just a random guy that I accidentally texted last night. I didn’t really apologize well last night, so I texted him again earlier today.” Janus and Remus both smirked. "I swear to god, whatever you two are thinking, it's wrong."

Janus tilted his head, looking like an innocent little angel (innocent my ass). "Whatever would we be thinking about, Virgil?" He turned to look at Remus. "Is this why Virgil found the idea of sleeping with Mr. Sanders so scandalous?" Virgil groaned, hoping that his meal would distract him from the cackling idiots in front of him.

By the time Virgil (finally) got home, wine tucked under one arm, he had almost forgotten about Roman's text. He quickly checked it, almost snorting at what he saw.

R-(10:35 AM) What can I say except you're welcome! Seriously, it was no problem. I'm happy that you had a good time at the party. It was a pleasure to help, storm cloud.

Virgil was halfway through typing a response before he stopped. Technically he could leave the text as it is and move on like nothing happened. On the other hand, Roman seemed like a fun guy to talk to. Surely he would tell Virgil if he wanted to stop talking to him, right? He ended up sending the text anyways, wanting to see if Roman would respond.

V- (11:45 AM) Really, you're gonna start your text with a Moana reference? You really are a Disney Prince, aren't ya Princey? And what's with the 'storm cloud' anyway?

Virgil expected a lot of things. Roman could block his number. He could poke fun at Virgil's anxiety attack from last night. He could take forever to respond, just to ask Virgil to never text him again. What Virgil didn't expect, however, was for an immediate, yet passionate, response.

R- (11:46 AM) DISNEY IS A BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECE THAT WILL ALWAYS HOLD A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART.

R- (11:46 AM) Sorry, I got a little emotional I REALLY like Disney. And the reason I called you 'storm cloud' is because you didn't give me another name to call you, storm cloud. And I will take the Disney prince jab as a complement.

Virgil laughed, already typing out a response. He probably shouldn't be giving out his name to a near stranger, but he didn't think it would matter much. Virgil Storm was a nobody, a reject from the foster system. Sure, he was secretly singer/songwriter Anxiety, but Roman didn't need to know that.

V- (11:47 AM) Sorry, the name's Virgil, he/him pronouns. And I didn't mean it as a jab, Disney's got a place in my heart too.

R- (11:48 AM) REALLY!?!? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE? DISNEY CLASSICS OR PIXAR? FAVORITE DISNEY PRINCESS? THESE ARE ALL VERY IMPORTANT

V- (11:48 AM) Um, okay. Nightmare Before Christmas, Classics, and does Elsa count as a Disney Princess?

R- (11:49 AM) Nope. Elsa is QUEEN. WE WILL NOT SLANDER SUCH A GODDESS!

V- (11:49 AM) Geez, let it go, Princey

R- (11:49 AM) N(ice) one

V- (11:49 AM) Then I've gotta go with Cinderella. She decided to make one slightly bad decision last her entire life, as opposed to other princesses making a decision that immediately through their lives away. Though that is what makes the movie interesting.

R- (11:50 AM) What do you mean?

V- (11:50 AM) Disney is known for being pure and innocent, but it contains tons of sinister undertones.

R- (11:50 AM) Not all of them!

V- (11:50 AM) Let's play a game then, we each pick a movie and describe the message that we believe the audience was supposed to receive.

R- (11:51 AM) Alrighty then, I'll go first. Cinderella: Believe in your dreams and, one day, they will come true.

V- (11:51 AM) Sure, just literally wait around your entire life, subjecting yourself to the cruelty of your ungrateful ignorant family members, until some MAGICAL fairy comes along to save you. Don't take action yourself. Not to mention man can't memorize the face of a woman they've been dancing around with for hours, they have to rely on the shoe, ergo men are idiots.

R- (11:52 AM) He was a very busy prince! He had a lot on his mind.

V- (11:52 AM) Fine, what do you think about Snow White?

R- (11:52 AM) Okay. So this time the message is to NOT do what the Princess did: Don't accept random fruit from strangers.

V- (11:53 AM) The bigger message is to just run away from your problems and become a housekeeper for 7 men. Not to mention a Prince comes out of nowhere and plants a kiss on a seemingly sleeping girl? I guess consent isn't really that important?

R- (11:54 AM) He thought she was DEAD! It was a farewell kiss!

R- (11:54 AM) Okay, how about Peter Pan. Don't let your childhood spirit ever die.

V- (11:55 AM) Also it's totally fine to believe a random stranger when they tell you to jump out a window after they've broken into your house. But I guess that's how your whole being would die.

R- (11:55 AM) COME ON! Can you REALLY look down so harshly on these movies?!?

V- (11:55 AM) I still like them! There's just some darker messages that we don't first see.

R- (11:56 AM) Bambi

V- (11:56 AM) Man is dangerous

R- (11:56 AM) Pocahontas

V- (11:56 AM) White man is dangerous

R- (11:56 AM) SLEEPING BEAUTY

V- (11:56 AM) Well now we’re back to the lack of consent with sleeping women

R- (11:56 AM) IT WAS TO LIFT A CURSE!!

V- (11:57 AM) Am I wrong?

R- (11:58 AM) …No, I suppose not. I guess there are darker aspects that I did not take into account. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean that those movies are intending on teaching such… immoral lessons.

V- (11:58 AM) And I never said that they were. That’s just my interpretation of them. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

When 5 minutes passed with no response, Virgil deemed it the end of that conversation. He went to go take a shower (he still smelt like alcohol and vomit) and hopefully get some ideas for his next song. Maybe something about interpretations?

By the time Virgil was out of the shower and fully dressed, there was a new message on his phone. He went to check it and was surprised by what he saw.

R- (12:12 PM) Virgil, in the span of just 30 minutes, you have given me one of the most invigorating debates I have ever gone through. I would really like to have another one in the future. Would you like to join a group chat with me and my friends, Patton and Logan? I have a feeling that you would get along quite nicely. You are not obligated under any means, but I can see that we have the potential to be great friends. What d’ya say, storm cloud?

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Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed!):

@bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess

[lorei-writes]

Match-Up #2

To follow the example of the previous match-up, this time @readerinsertfanfiction​ submitted a form for @silhouette-of-a-dream​​ .

Be warned, this contains spoilers for main routes.

I love you too, Nemo, haha. Thanks <3 Sorry for bad timing, but oh well, it all ended up well. ^^”

Hmm.. I think some of those qualities could be both great assets and grave flaws, depending on the relationship. Being caring, nurturing, empathetic and altruistic could make one an incredible source of support - however, I reckon that this “resource” isn’t infinite. In other words: I think that being matched with a person requiring some level of help wouldn’t be a bad idea, but a person who requires constant, ongoing support could be... Draining? I could see a person with said qualities getting so invested into assisting somebody that they would forget about their own needs... As such, I reckon, an equally giving partner would be appreciated.

Shingen (+) Hideyoshi (+) Nobunaga (-) Mitsuhide (-) Mitsunari (-) Kenshin (-)

Additionally, given your creative side, I’d say a person at least somewhat vaguely interested in all sorts of art could be a good fit.

Shingen (+) Masamune (+) Yoshimoto (+)

I can see that several of those flaws revolve around experiencing and being prone to experiencing immense amounts of dread/anxiety (serial worrier?). As such, I reckon that the suggested suitor shouldn’t add to that... Which, of course, given the setting isn’t possible.

All suitors are disqualified. 

Now, that this terrible joke is out of the way: as such, I’m going to consider only the suitors who willingly endanger themselves for the sake of the “greater ideals” (loyalty, the good of the clan/being a perfect leader, peace) and who may not change their outlook on things, at least not completely (read: they surely will try, but taking such risks will most likely still occur). (Note: Shingen is not included, as I do presume part of the driving force behind his actions is him dying of a terminal illness. Once this condition is dealt with, he does not seem to be comparable to the other mentioned suitors, at least in my opinion).

Hideyoshi (-) Masamune (-) Mitsuhide (-)

Given her having a tendency to feel strongly... I think a suitor in good contact with his feelings may be preferable.

Masamune (-) Nobunaga (-)

I presume that partners unable to understand cynicism should be removed too...

Mitsunari (-)

Given Jules being insecure, I reckon an openly supportive suitor may be appreciated.

Shingen (+) Masamune (+)

Likewise, I also do presume that a character who ends up changing his mind about his outlook on life and moves on from his grief may not be a bad idea.

Kennyo (+) ?

To counter the nervousness, suitors with calming presence may be a good choice. Conversely - nagging and overly melancholic people, begone.

Shingen (+) Kennyo (+) ? Hideyoshi (-) Yoshimoto (-)

1st Summary:

Shingen ( + + + + ) Kennyo ( + + ) Kenshin & Hideyoshi ( - ) Nobunaga & Mitsunari & Mitsuhide ( - - )

READ THE REST OF THE MATCH-UP & THE CONCLUSION BELOW THE CUT.

Points distributed for likes:

Shingen ( + + + ) <- Shingen, he does appreciate art, family Masamune ( + + ) <- gardening, he does appreciate art

(If you were surprised - yes, Masamune gardens. Source: Mitsunari’s romantic epilogue). 

Points distributed for dislikes:

Mitsuhide (-) <- abuse of any kind (torture) Nobunaga (-) <- mainstream

Additional points distributed for issues that may stem from mentioned dislikes:

Yoshimoto (-) <- yes-man (? with the way he initially pursues his role as the leader of a dying clan and wishes for it to bring him to his demise; Mitsuhide’s route). Masamune (-) <- abuse of any kind ( while he does not support any form of abuse, but he’s capable of rationalizing it, especially if it affected him. Him being emotionally removed from the matter and his partner being emotional, I could see this leading to rather heated arguments or simply being a point of conflict, even more so since some of the previously abusive people are still part of his life. It could end well, but it could also not - I consider it a gamble).

2nd Summary:

Shingen ( + + + + + + + ) Kennyo ( + + ) Masamune ( + ) Yoshimoto & Kenshin & Hideyoshi ( - ) Nobunaga & Mitsunari ( - - ) Mitsuhide ( - - - )

Only characters with ( + ) by their name will be considered in the final stages.

None of the remaining suitors meet any of the dealbreakers. 

None of the remaining suitors fall meet any of the pet peeves.

Does that mean there can’t be too much Shingen fanfiction or else it would become mainstream?

Points distributed for wild cards:

Shingen (+) <- adopting people  Kennyo (+) <- adopting animals (in a way? He was shown to care for a wounded cat).

Shingen (/) <- alike to Comte, he can sometimes be rather enigmatic, perhaps not so much in a shady way, but oh well. 

Final ranking:

Shingen ( + + + + + + + + ) ( / ) Kennyo ( + + + ) Masamune ( + )

Shingen:

If one were to humour the idea of playing alongside with Shingen’s flowery speech, then perhaps they’d describe the man of interest as rock that withstands any storm. To a certain extent, this statement wouldn’t be too misjudged - Shingen does radiate an aura of maturity, he’s intelligent and dexterous enough to handle plenty matters on his own, his presence is calming and, if everything fails, his dad jokes can always lighten the mood. However, all stones erode and he does not give himself a high enough priority - as such, an equally giving and loving partner, perhaps one who’d be able to talk some sense into him, would be a treasure. 

For somebody to grant him a family would be Shingen’s greatest dream - and if it came true, he’d surely work to maintain it. Yet any home is just as peaceful and happy as the people inhabiting it. If he could make you see yourself through his eyes, he would - so that you could see all the amazing things he notices. So that he could show you how removed from truth are your insecurities. Meanwhile, he himself could probably get some help in learning to love himself and prioritising his own needs.

I could see health concerns being a possible starting point for arguments. Remember to rest your personal Shingen whenever it’s necessary, he shouldn’t overwork himself. Also, please, let him recover after the surgery, ffs. Free time ideas: baking and cooking together, working together in a shared crafting&art space, strolls through the town/alongside the shore/ just anywhere your feet would take you, relaxing in hot springs 

Kennyo:

A gentle soul that was shattered may never be returned to its original state... However, it does not mean it is devoid of what it used to be. With his face split in (ugh, forgive me) almost equal “ “halves” “ , he appears to be a walking metaphor of his emotional state - part of him thinks only of revenge, while the other, compassionate one, is hurting as a result of him trying to abandon it. A person reminding him of who he could become, someone inspiring and with feelings strong enough to reach him? Such a person may be able to lure him out of his self-imposed prison, be it with care and affection or discussions and pointing out flaws in his reasoning. Whichever it would be, the kind, gentle, compassionate man is still residing inside of him - moreover, he’s showing his true colours unprompted just as well.

Kennyo does have a certain aura of maturity. He suffered plenty and as such, can understand pain well - and if he ever were to overcome his own, he’d gladly lead a hand in moving forward past any anxieties. He has fought enough as well. He’s knowledgeable and cares deeply, even if he shows it in the little ways. As for what could he gain... Well, acceptance and warmth, something he deprived himself of.

Possibile issues may initially arise around him claiming that he is a demon. However, if his shell was cracked, he wouldn’t be able to hide his true nature anymore - and perhaps with enough patience, he’d grow to accept it as well. Free time ideas: going on forest trips (perhaps foraging as well), reading together, snuggling into him while he tells his stories,  drinking tea outside during summer evenings

[pinkhairedlily]

Breathing is a foreign task

Chapter 8 of The Spring He Came Back | 8 of 12

“Shirou!” Her voice was drowned out by the squeal of racing wheels against the rail and the loud whistle of its departure. Catching her breath, she hesitated for a few seconds but regained her composure and sprinted to the end of the platform, her bun coming undone with the icy wind. He was just standing at the door. He could still see her. “Shirou!”

He looked up at that moment, his eyes immediately locking with hers, and both mirrored confusing expressions of guilt, desperation, and relief. What a million words longing to be said. What a million thoughts needed to be shared. What a million things. She finally reached the end of the station where she could no longer run after him. She stared at the receding figure of the dreams that would take him away again.

Hinamori was grief-stricken. Apart from being kicked out of the academy, her grandmother suffered an infection which she thought Baba would never recover from. But she gained consciousness and her immune system ramped up – a miracle of miracles. For days, she never left Baba’s side, and for days, she didn’t think of anything else but Baba and Baba only. Because ever since she was orphaned, she only had Baba and herself and that was all that mattered.

A week after Baba’s discharge, Hinamori went to the academy. It was nothing short of public shunning. She told a guard to give her letter to Dr. Aizen, but the professor was no longer there.

“Who are you sad for?” Baba asked one afternoon, her frail hands cupping a warm cup of oolong tea. “I think so much had happened while I was asleep, but I only saw that face during your parents’ funeral.”

“I’m sorry Baba.” She still couldn’t forgive herself for doing this to Baba. She was irresponsible, insensitive, uncaring.

Baba reached out to softly pat her head. “My dear, you’re tired.”

She was. She was tired of denying, deconstructing, and reconstructing Dr. Aizen in her head. She was tired of making up excuses for his unreasonable workload, for his weird request to avoid seeing friends so she could be more productive, for seeing through her admiration and taking advantage of it, for using her naivete in the academic field. It was true, after all, that she was not like them. She was a peasant. She didn’t know better. She only had herself to blame.

She was tired. She was tired of pretending she was angry at Hitsugaya, of pretending not to see his pained looks from across the room during the trial, of the defeat on his face when it was decided she would be expelled. She was not angry, but she was confused. She was confused – ever since that afternoon in the yellow daffodil meadow.

Baba pulled her in for a hug, Hinamori’s arms still scared to hold the fragile vessel of her dearest person. But she allowed herself to sob, to let go of all these feelings at once.

“So have you found which bonds to treasure?”

Hinamori never got around to answer Baba’s question as urgent knocks suddenly interrupted their conversation. From the window, she saw that it was Rangiku, Renji, and Rukia, but she didn’t open her door, partly because she was angry for being un-like them and partly because she was afraid of what they thought of her.

“We’re your friends too, Momo.” Rangiku’s voice drifted across the door.

Hinamori was afraid because they were, first and foremost, Hitsugaya’s friends, and they would inevitably take his side. She didn’t think of them as her own.

“We’re your friends, no matter what.” Renji echoed. His voice was still full of energy but also full of indignation. “I don’t care what the academy thinks.”

“You must know,” Rukia started. Out of all three, she may be the most level-headed, so similar with her brother, but Hinamori knew her long enough that Rukia also treasured people close to her. “we know you didn’t do any of the things you confessed to.”

“Hitsugaya wasn’t the informant.” Renji’s voice was cracking. “But you should have already known by now, haven’t you?”

She thought she dried up all her tears. Of course, she knew. Hitsugaya would never do that to her, but she projected all of her fears to him, the fear that it was Dr. Aizen’s doing.

“But you must know he’s leaving.” Rangiku said. “We’re not privy to the details, but he’s leaving tomorrow morning. If you want to clear up all misunderstandings and say your goodbyes, you should come meet him.”

“We’re here for you, Momo. Come and meet us whenever you’re ready.” Rukia never used her nickname until now. “We’ll just have to revise that stupid hierarchy rule of course.”

When she heard the incoming rumble of the train, she dashed out of the compound on her bike and raced to reach Hitsugaya. She was tired of pretending she didn’t care. In fact, she was angry, afraid, and confused. Angry of being left in the dark, afraid of what he thought of her after the trial, confused on his departure. What will she say? Does he hate her? Why was he leaving? When will he come back? She needed answers. She needed to hear his voice. To feel that warm hug one last time.

She heard their collective sighs and their receding footsteps. At the very last minute, she opened her door but were only left with departing shadows. On the ground was a box full of her favorite tea packets. It was pathetic, the way she cried again, the fact that she was still indecisive.

The next morning, she was still unsure of what to do.

But in the middle of winter, Hitsugaya Toushirou disappeared from her life.

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It was difficult starting over. Baba regained some of her strength but never returned to its full normality. So Hinamori found a reason to move, to get up in the morning and make breakfast, clean the compound, gather firewood. The routine was a safe space.

But the nights were not. She was sleepless, haunted by vivid nightmares of always giving a hundred percent of herself and getting none of them back. She was floating, untethered, and uncertain.

The trips downtown didn’t help at all, even after months of isolation. While the academy was bounded by a non-disclosure agreement of what went down in the trial, gossip was still bound to leak. After all, they were the Soul Society. So she went in, went out, enduring the stares and the snickers behind her back. The worst that happened was when someone on the second floor of a building threw a box of ripe tomatoes on her head. When she returned the following week, she learned that a red-haired guy, a short girl, and a booby one threatened the streets. For a short while, Hinamori allowed herself to smile.

Seasons came and went. She never heard from Hitsugaya, and there was sparse information from the erratic closed door visits she had with the three Rs. On the fifth spring season, large developments occurred. A science museum was to be built on the meadow of daffodils. Full bloom and shining in their yellow glory, the daffodils gave way to the large wheels of trucks and mechanized backhoe. She stood there, tears lodged on her throat, helpless to see memories being taken away.

It was learning how to breathe again. Like how Baba adjusted to her new set of lungs, Hinamori coped with her new life. Breathing has become a foreign task, like any other else – sleeping, eating watermelon, drinking coffee. And when she had them all down, she progressed to contacting friends. She prepared bouquets for the three Rs during their graduation. For some reason, her excommunication with the academy got lifted, and she was allowed to see them. She never made it past the gate, however, and thought it best to leave them with the guard, but they saw her anyway. They smothered her in a flurry of robes and sniffles, her carefully wrapped bouquets in danger of deforming but all for a good reason.

Then, she made even bigger steps. She mailed all the remaining files of her projects with Aizen to Unohana with a self-written testimony of her true experience. It may not hold weight, but she spoke her truth at the very least. It was time to let go of him, or rather the idea of him.

Baba sat her down one day and gave her a bank passbook.

“Baba?” A familiar feeling clutched at her heart. How come she didn’t see it coming again? “Let’s go to the hospital right now!”

“You silly girl. I am fine.” Baba calmed her down and offered her a cup of tea, her favorite brew. “It’s Hitsugaya’s.”

“What?” She was openly dumbstruck. He didn’t send any form of communication, but he continued sending money?

“He probably thought I needed some for maintenance.” Baba’s eyes were twinkling. She was so fond of the measly boy she took from the streets. She didn’t mind his unruly behavior and would have accepted him if he stayed that way. But her genuine act of acceptance returned a lifetime of favor which Hinamori was grateful for. Hitsugaya never broke his promises.

“I still have some extra. He must be a millionaire or something!” Chuckling, Baba held her hands. “But this, you need to have.”

“What do you mean, Baba? I’m not leaving you.”

“Of course, you won’t. But you need to pursue something that you want, for yourself.”

And that was how she managed to acquire the rundown building near her favorite café. Building on Baba’s connections with farmers and a couple of lessons with senior florists, she opened her flower shop. It was expected that revenues would be down initially, given her prior reputation, but this was a shot she needed to take.

Eventually, sales picked up because of her unique arrangements and how they were preserved longer than most flowers. It was thanks to the spray she concocted from her basic knowledge when she was at the academy. She set aside some of her sales – returning what she owed to Hitsugaya who by then became popular in the academic world.

Unreachable by the day, Hinamori thought to herself. But she still found herself waiting. Each time the winter came, she waited patiently for the snow to melt and give way to the budding blossoms of spring. During summer, she and Baba would prepare lots of watermelons, stocking up on jams for the next cycle of winter. And again, and again, and again. And while she was comfortable in her routine, she found herself still waiting.

----------------------------

This was the spring he came back. He. The youngest postdoctorate professor of the town. The most sought-after scientist in major journals and magazines. The prodigy of the physics world. Nobel Prize just might do a piece on his work on physics. And yet to her he was still her childhood best friend who disappeared during winter ten years ago.

“Toushirou.”

Hitsugaya gave a small smile and took a few steps closer to the counter. “Rangiku said this place is the best flower shop. I didn’t know you’re the owner.”

Probably because you went off the deep end? “I..didn’t know you’re back.”

“You….cut your hair.” Ah, the first thing he noticed.

“It was heavy.” Hinamori’s hands tried to grab scissors and some ribbons, trying to act as if she was busy, but they all fumbled from her grasp. “So what flowers do you need?”

He stood there awkwardly with this strange silence that hang over the both of them. He was a few inches taller than her, his silver hair growing into a mullet, and his face more angled than what she remembered He also wore glasses….which was weird because she knew he had a 20/20 eyesight. But more than that, he was harder to reach than before and yet he was already in front of her.

There was nothing she wanted more than to rush into his arms and welcome her best friend home. Welcome back.

NEXT CHAPTER | 9 OF 12 | THE SPRING HE CAME BACK