#but I have read three books in the past 48 hours

[sassmill]

OW

[mvshortcut]

Hi, Milk!! I wanted to give you some options, so here you go! I hope you are doing well and that this is fun for you. If it isn't, then please don't finish! I don't want it to be a burden <3

11. "They shouldn't treat you like that."

16. "You were calling out, in your sleep. You said my name."

21. "Oh, love. What have you done to yourself?"

26. "You're allowed to need help."

43. "Why haven't you been eating?"

48. "Don't touch me!"

And for characters, in no particular order: Mr. Benedict, Milligan, Rhonda, Sticky, Kate, S.Q., Curtain, McCracken, Sharpe, and Crawlings. Show or Books, it doesn't matter :)

read on ao3 here

tw for stress-induced eating issues!

“Why haven’t you been eating?”

Damn Milligan and his observational skills. Rhonda scratched at the back of her neck but did not look up from the map she was pouring over. “Eating? I’ve been eating plenty. What are you—”

“Now, I was here two days ago, and I remember what the pantry looked like then,” Milligan said casually. “The news of Mr. Benedict and Number Two’s kidnapping arrived the morning I left. So… let’s see here …” He moved past Rhonda into the kitchen and tugged open the pantry door. Rhonda winced.

“It isn’t what it looks l—”

“The candy jar is almost empty,” Milligan noted. “That wouldn’t have been your doing?”

“Oh no, I thought for sure I hid it well enough this time,” Rhonda moaned. “No, that wasn’t me.”

Milligan nodded and rifled through some boxes. “The chocolate bars are gone … but you prefer those granola craisins, don’t you?”

“I’ve been known to have a chocolate bar here and there,” Rhonda said futilely. Even as she attempted to fend off Milligan’s suspicions, she still was reserving half of her attention for marking key areas on the map of Stonetown on the table before her. “Now let’s see … if the pigeon needs to fly to the east to return to it’s roost, then it would take approximately—”

Milligan opened the freezer. “Oh, lookie! The three bags of dino nuggets are gone!”

Rhonda groaned. “I made her a shepherd’s pie! It took me an hour, too! But she wouldn’t—”

“Believe me, I know,” Milligan held out a calming hand. “She’s not going to want to eat anything with peas in it when her whole world has been turned upside down. It’s more important that she’s eating something, at the very least. Which brings us back to you.” 

Milligan raised an eyebrow. Rhonda groaned.

“We both know you’ve been vegetarian for years,” he said gently. “You didn’t eat any of those dino nuggets, did you?” Rhonda looked back at the map and made some more marks with her pencil. 

The silence grew and grew.

“I had some crackers,” Rhonda blurted.

“Uh-huh.”

More silence.

“How many crackers, exactly?”

Rhonda swiped at her eyes without looking up from the map.

“Hey. Hey.” Milligan was across the room in a second. “I’m not trying to upset you. I just see you working and worrying yourself into the ground. It does no good. Do you think I’d get anywhere on my missions if I didn’t eat?”

“No, you’d fall off a roof and brain yourself,” Rhonda hiccupped.

“Exactly. And you’ve got quite the noggin up there—” he rapped her skull playfully— “so let’s get it some food, shall we?”

Rhonda gestured helplessly. “The map—”

“—can wait.”

“Mr. Benedict and Number Two can’t!”

“And five minutes spent eating a slice of lasagna won’t make a difference, Rhonda.” When she still looked skeptical, he cracked a weak smile. “C’mon. Do you really think Number Two would be upset if you took time out of your day to eat? Or Mr. Benedict if you took a few hours to sleep?”

Despite herself, a tiny grin tugged Rhonda’s face at the thought of her family.

“Exactly. Now, my friend Moocho Brazos has arrived—you’ve met him? Excellent—and let me tell you, he is quite the cook. He tends to make too much, especially when he’s stressed. As the host, I think it’s your responsibility to help him out and eat some of the extra plates he’s put together. What do you say?”

Rhonda glanced one more time at her map, then nodded.

“Good. I’ll bring it up to you when it’s ready.” Then, something mysterious came over Milligan. He put his hands on his hips, drew himself up taller, and wagged a finger at her. “And don’t let me catch you neglecting your health again. Understand?”

“Yes,” Rhonda replied automatically, bemused. Milligan nodded and turned to go.

“That’s a new voice,” she called after him. She heard his footsteps halt in the hallway, then patter in reverse on the carpet until he arrived back in the doorframe.

“Pardon?”

“The Disappointed Dad voice you just tried out on me.”

“Oh,” Milligan said, flushing. “That. Yes. Just something I’m working on.”

“I see.” Rhonda’s lips twitched.

“Yes, well, I’ll need it when I finally catch up with those rascals in Portugal, so…” Milligan’s chest puffed out a tad. “Was it … y’know… any good?”

“No.”

Milligan nodded as if he’d been expecting this. “Ah.”

“But keep trying though.” Rhonda smiled—really smiled—for the first time in days. “I’m sure you’ll get it soon.”

“Right. Just gotta keep workshopping it,” Milligan nodded to himself. He still looked abashed but nevertheless attempted a snappy salute. “Lasagna delivery in ten.”

[cosmicjoke]

New York, New York 1980

The jumbotron overlooking Times Square reads 11:48 PM and minus three degrees, Dec. 14th, 1980. Ugly, orange glow of numbers hazing through the mist, don’t mean anything on their own. Feels like minus twenty with the humidity. Snow’s started coming down heavy, and the streets have gone empty and silent. His breath fogs the air in front of his face and it’s knives down his throat when he breathes in.

Ash thinks he might die tonight.

He’s on his own.

Billy and the others took off a couple hours ago, he don’t know where to. Didn’t tell him and he didn’t ask. Probably to find shelter. Deadly out here, tonight. Deadly. Lotta’ people weren’t gonna’ make it to sun-up.

He swallows, sniffs hard. Snot keeps dribbling outta’ his right nostril, running down to his lip, freezing there in a thickening crust. He wants to wipe it away, but that would mean unwrapping his arms from around himself, and he thinks he might just go then and there if he does.

Eyes hurt, burn with tears as he glares up at that big, stupid screen, flashing through the dark and fog.

He needs to find some place too. Needs to find somewhere. All them shelters booked up, though. Every space taken. Coulda’ got there, maybe, if he hadn’t been workin’ the streets so late. But he needed money. Needed it bad. Hadn’t eaten in days. Would starve to death, soon. That’d be worse than freezing to death, he figures. Freezing to death, he figures, you just go numb, and then you get real warm, and you just give up and then you’re dead. Starvin’ to deaths worse.

Though maybe he should rethink that, considering how much this hurts.

Needs to find somewhere.

More than seven hours to sun-up, and it’s only going to get colder.

//

Subway car stinks like piss and vomit, the overhead fluorescents flickering in and out, an annoying, loud buzz emanating from the fixtures. But it’s heated, at least, and empty. Quiet. Better than being up top in the snow and air.

Ash keeps his arms wrapped tight around his torso. The denim of his jacket is worn through and wet from slipping earlier in the snow slicked street, the worn-out soles of his sneakers not made for any sort of traction. He can’t take it off. Even if it’s warmer here, he doubts he’ll manage to pass the entire night riding the subway. He hopes for a few hours, at least. If he’s lucky.

But Ash ain’t never been lucky.

He gets maybe half an hour of rest, another hour of going from stop to stop, before the car fills up with the ruckus of laughing voices, whooping and hollering.

Ash opens his eyes. It’s a group of gang bangers. Buncha’ hooligans.

He feels his body go tense at the sight, pressing his back against the hard plastic of his seat.

Shit.

This wasn’t good.

He had to get off before they spotted him. They’d take his money, if he couldn’t. They’d rob him. Maybe worse.

He tries not to be noticed as he stands and makes his way for the exit. He doesn’t get far, though, one of the punks calling out to him.

Ash stops, tries not to cringe away as the group comes toward him, blocking off his escape.

“Well, what do we got here?” One of ‘em starts. Big, tall guy. Gotta’ be seventeen, eighteen. There’s six of ‘em. All about the same. No way past. Ash knows he ain’t got a chance. “What’re you doin’ out so late, all on your own, little boy?” He grins down at Ash, ugly, crooked teeth, greasy hair hanging down around his red face. “You all alone, little boy?”

Ash can feel his heart hitting hard inside his chest, his own breath loud inside his ears. His mind races, tryin’ to come up with something, anything to get him out of this.

“… I… I’m meetin’ my brother.” He croaks after a long moment, the lie heavy and bitter on his tongue. He thinks of Griff and knows he probably won’t ever see him again. “I’m meetin’ him at this stop.”

“That right, little boy?” The punk grins wider. “You meetin’ your brother? ‘Cause we didn’t see no one out there.”

“H-he’s comin’… he’ll be here.” Ash stammers, voice thin and shaking. “I need… I need to get off.”

“Yeah… I don’t think so.”

The blade seems to come outta’ nowhere, just suddenly there in the punks hand, flashing in Ash’s eyes.

“Whatch’u got, boy?”

Ash steps back, his hands automatically reaching for his pockets. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Give it, you little shit!”

“I… I don’t got…”

The words are hardly out of his mouth before he’s being grabbed by the collar of his jacket and shoved back against the wall of the car, the knife suddenly at his throat, sharp edge of it digging painfully into the soft skin.

“Check his pockets.”

Ash knows better than to struggle. There wasn’t nothin’ he could do.

They find his money. They take it. A whole nights worth of work. Eighty-three bucks.

Ash thinks he should be thankful they don’t take his jacket and shoes too, though he guesses those wouldn’t be worth nothin’ to ‘em.

“Thanks, kiddo!” The punk tells him. “Now, didn’t you say this was your stop?”

They throw him out of the car, onto the platform, just as the doors are closing. He can hear their laughter behind him, and a moment later, the train is gone.

The concrete beneath him is freezing against his naked palms and the worn-through holes at the knees of his jeans.

For a long time, Ash just sits there like that.

He can hear it up top, on the street, the wind whistling down through the exit and into the tunnel, carrying the cold with it. He starts to shake, an already painful sting bleeding through the thin layers of his clothing.

When he finally pushes himself up, his palms are scrapped bloody from the impact. He bites his lip, hard, willing back the tears threatening in his eyes.

Wasn’t no use crying.

He glances around for a clock. Finds one. It’s a quarter past one in the morning. If he gets back on the train, he could get mugged again, but this time he won’t have no money. Doesn’t know what would happen, then, so he thinks he better not. Nowhere to stay, then, to keep out of the cold. He’s fucked, he thinks.

He meanders around the station for a while. Tries one of the public bathrooms. It’s damp and dark, the wind from up top seeping in through the swinging door, turning the space colder than out on the platform. He can’t stay here, he knows.

Doesn’t know where to go.

Finally he makes his way back up to the street.

It’s like walking into a wall of knives, the cold cuts so sharp and deep. Ash folds his arms around himself, sticks his hands under his armpits, tries burying his face against his shoulder, but nothing really helps, lungs burning with frigid air. He’s got to get out of this. Some place. Any place.

He’s come up onto 57th, near Central Park South. The park seems like an even worse idea than the subway, but he doesn’t know where else to go.

There’s some dive bars still open, but not for long. And anyway, Ash knows he wouldn’t be allowed to stay. He’s eleven fuckin’ years old. They’d throw him out, most like. ‘Cept maybe… maybe someone’d feel sorry enough for him to let him stay.

… Maybe he should go back to Club Cod and ask for his room.

The thought forces bile up into his throat. For an instant, Ash thinks he really might be sick. Not that it would really matter. Didn’t have no food in his stomach, no how.

He only gags a little, though, wiping at his mouth. He can’t stop shaking, the tips of his fingers and toes numb and pained, his nose aching viciously, won’t stop running.

He wanders into the park, knowing it’s a stupid move, but Billy and the others sometimes came here, when they couldn’t get into a shelter, and Ash hopes maybe he’ll find ‘em.

He makes his way toward the spot they’d usually be, but he knows soon enough they ain’t there.

The park is empty and silent and black well beyond his vision, the glow of the lamps lining the walking paths obscured and vague through the dense fog.

Ash licks his lips, a sick worry dropping down into his guts.

Nobody was out here tonight.

Nobody was dumb enough. Not even the stalkers and pervs and muggers.

Guesses it was just him then. Just him who was dumb and desperate enough.

He makes his way back to the street. He starts to cry. It’s pathetic, but he can’t help it.

He’s gonna’ die if he can’t find somewhere warm.

He stumbles along for a couple more blocks before he can’t make it any farther, huddling beneath a storefront awning.

There’s a bar across the street, open, by the looks of it, but nobody’s hanging around out front.

It’s his only option, now, and so he takes it, hurrying to the other side. Even if he only gets a few minutes of warmth, it’s better than nothin’.

Walking in, he gets blasted by a wall of heat. The relief is almost enough to make him start crying again, and he finds himself suddenly sapped of energy, sagging against the wall closest to the entrance, limbs stiff and frigid.

It takes him too long to really notice his surroundings, and when he finally does, he feels his stomach turn.

It’s a strip joint.

There’s a stage in the room’s center, chintzy lighting effects illuminating it in regulated patterns of blue and white flashes, the rest of the space shadowy by comparison, hazy and dreamlike, a thick malaise of cigarette and cigar smoke filling the air. Music pumps through the overhead speakers, monotonous and irritating in its predictability, the stench of liquor everywhere. There’s only a couple of patrons sitting around the stage. Overweight pigs who can barely pretend at being interested in the woman prancing around more than half-naked in front of them.

Ash stares up at her, and feels himself start with recognition.

He knows her.

One of the girls that works the streets out there with him. She calls herself Betty Boop, but her real name’s Beatrix. Not that he would say anything. Ash ain’t his real name, either. Griff called him Ash. Papa’s the one that added Lynx to the end ‘a that, ‘cause he said that’s what Ash reminded him of. A lynx.

He didn’t know she worked as a stripper too, but it makes sense, for nights like this, when workin’ the streets wasn’t really an option. Ash would do it too, ‘cept nobody would hire him for that kinda’ work. Not if they were runnin’ a ‘legitimate’ business, anyway. Places like Club Cod, though, he was naked more often than not. Only he didn’t get paid for it. He didn’t get nothin’ for his hard work, there, ‘cept the privilege of not dying.

He was lucky they let him out at all. Was lucky, he guesses, that Papa had taken him out of being a regular there. He only had to work when there was a special client needed takin’ care of.

He shakes his head, his throat tight. He doesn’t want to think on that. Doesn’t want to think of that place.

Nobody’s noticed him yet. He hopes he can keep it that way for a while. He doesn’t want to go back out there, into the cold.

So he stays where he is, and waits, and eventually, Beatrix comes off the stage, disappearing into the back. None ‘a the pigs even gave her any cash, fuckin’ bastards. Ash thinks, if he had any left, he’d give her a few dollars at least.

It’s maybe another five minutes, and still nobody’s spotted him, when he sees Beatrix again, comin’ out of the back, dressed in regular clothes and heading for the exit, right where he’s standing.

Ash feels frozen, then, not knowing what to do. She’s gonna’ see him, and he doesn’t know what will happen if she does. Doesn’t think he wants her to.

But he can’t move, and he sees the moment she recognizes him, her eyes going wide.

“Hey… Ash?”

Ash just stares up at her, not knowing what to say, his voice at once lodged in his throat.

“Honey… what are you doin’ here?” Beatrix looks around, worried, it seems like, that someone will spot him.

Ash looks away finally, shrugging weakly.

“… Just stumbled in, I guess.” He mutters. “Didn’t know you worked here.���

Beatrix looks back at him, mouth twisted into a frown. She’s got that look again. The one that Ash knows means she’s feelin’ sorry for him. The one he knows means she’s worried about him. He wishes she wouldn’t bother. Wasn’t like he was worth it.

“Oh, honey, ain’t you got no place to stay tonight?”

Ash keeps his eyes away, shaking his head.

“… Missed out on the shelters.” He mutters again, folding his arms around himself tighter.

“… You can’t stay here, hon. You’re too young. They’ll have to throw you out, soon as they notice you here.”

“… Yeah. I know.”

“Were you workin’? Out in this weather?”

Ash nods, feels his throat close up.

“Oh, sweetie…”

“I’m alright. I’m fine. I’ll leave soon. You don’t gotta’ worry. If you’re scared they’ll think you let me in or…”

“Ash, I don’t care about that. Look… I can’t let you go back out there, knowin’ you’ve got no place. You’ll freeze to death.”

“I’m alright.” Ash insists again.

“Nah uh. Ash… listen… why don’t you come with me for the night? I’ve got an apartment. My man’s gone for the week, out of town. You should be okay to come by and crash there.”

For a moment, there’s a thrill of dread through Ash’s guts. The thought of being locked in an apartment with one of them pimps. The ones that were always tryin’ to snag him. He couldn’t think of a worse situation to find himself in. It hardly registers to him an instant later that Beatrix said her man was gone for the week. But what if she was wrong? He knew how the pimps treated their women. Like they were property. Like they belonged to ‘em. Like how Papa treated him.

What if her man came home while he was there?

Ash guesses she must see the worry on his face, ‘cause she comes up to him then, reaches out and takes his hand.

“He won’t be back tonight, honey. I promise. You’ll be okay.”

Ash hesitates.

He knows he can’t really afford to turn her down. He knows he’s lucky, that he would have the chance at all for a warm place to stay tonight, when he’d been sure less than twenty minutes ago that he could die if he spent much longer out in the streets.

And so he shoves down the uncertainty and fear threatening to choke him, and nods weakly.

“… Thank you.” He whispers, and Beatrix just smiles, squeezing his hand.

“Come on. Let’s get you someplace less disgusting than this, huh?”

Ash snorts a laugh.

“S’not so bad.” He says. “Not compared to some places.”

He doesn’t elaborate on that, though. Wouldn’t be no point. Doesn’t wanna’ ruin Beatrix’s night any more than he already has.

“If you say so, sweetheart.” Beatrix smiles, still holding his hand. “You didn’t… I mean… when I was up there?”

Ash shrugs, looking away.

“I seen a lotta’ stuff. It’s alright.”

“Oh, Jeez, Ash, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m alright.” He repeats.

What the hell was he gonna’ tell her? Seeing a naked woman wasn’t anything new. Women had raped him. Clients at Club Cod.

Beatrix doesn’t say anything else after that, and he doesn’t either, just follows her out of the club and to her car, parked across the street.

It feels even colder than it did before, but Ash guesses that could just be ‘cause he got a little warmth. Whatever it is, he’s just happy when they get inside her car. He reaches out, pressing his frozen fingers against the vents blowing hot air.

He stares out the window as she pulls out, watching the falling snow as it comes down harder than before, beginning to whip past in a dizzying, blinding wash of white. It’s quiet. Now that he’s out of the cold, almost peaceful, and he can feel the exhaustion starting to weigh down on him.

He feels relief when they finally make it to her apartment, and he follows close behind as they make their way up the stares of the tenement complex.

“That damn elevator’s always out.” Beatrix mutters as they trudge their way up. “We’re almost there, hon.”

“… It’s alright.” Ash tells her, even though, by the time they make it to her floor, his lungs are burning a little, his legs weak and shaky beneath him. He tries to hide it, but he don’t think he does a very good job with the way Beatrix keeps eyein’ him.

“Here we are. I know it’s not much, but it’s clean and warm.”

Ash looks around and thinks about tellin’ her that, to him, it’s like a fuckin’ luxury hotel room compared to some ‘a the places he’s had to stay before. But he only shakes his head and tells her it’s great, and he means it.

“Bathroom’s right down that hall and to the left.” She points. “If ya want to get cleaned up, there’s fresh towels in there. I don’t really have any clothes that’ll fit you though, darling. I’m sorry.”

Ash shakes his head.

“S’alright.” He says. “Can… can I take a shower?”

“Of course. Take all the time you need.”

Ash thanks her again before making his way down the hall.

He knows if her man was here, he’d never feel comfortable enough for this. But it’s just Beatrix, and he knows she understands. Knows she goes through the same hell each night he does.

He’s still cold from the outside, and it’s almost painful when he steps under the warm spray of water, the tips of his fingers and toes burning. It’s only a few seconds before it turns pleasant, though, and Ash sags in relief against the stall, the lids of his eyes drooping closed.

He’s so tired. He just wants to go to sleep.

Sometimes… sometimes he thinks… he’d like to fall asleep and never wake up.

He shoves the thought out of his mind as he steps from the shower, drying himself off and dressing quickly. He’s happy at least to be out of his wet jacket and shoes, keeping his feet bare as he makes his way out of the bathroom and back down the hall to the living room.

He stops at the threshold, uncertain as he spots Beatrix moving around the small kitchen space, heating up what looks like TV dinners in a microwave.

“Oh, Ash!” She at last notices him standing there. She smiles at him. “Was the shower alright?”

Ash nods, finally moving forward.

“That’s good.” She keeps smiling. “I don’t know if you’re hungry, darling, but I heated up some tv dinners, if you want to eat. It’s nothing special, but…” she shrugs, holding the plastic trays up for him to see.

Ash feels his stomach squeeze and cramp, letting out a loud growl as the smell of the food hits him, his face warming in embarrassment.

He hasn’t really eaten in two days.

“I guess that’s a yes, then?” Beatrix laughs. “Come here, you can eat at the table. I’ve got some orange juice too, if you like?”

Ash swallows, hesitating a moment before moving to the small, fold out table near the kitchen, pulling out one of the vinyl backed chairs.

“O-okay.” He agrees. “Thanks… th-thanks…”

“Of course, sweetie.” Beatrix smiles again, placing one of the dinners in front of him, along with a fork. Ash watches her as she takes out a glass from one of the cabinets then, and a pitcher of juice from the fridge. He suddenly feels parched, swallowing dryly, his throat clicking. He thanks her again as she hands him the glass.

“So,” she starts, sitting across from him. “you doin’ okay, Ash? How come you didn’t have no place to stay?”

Ash digs at his food, keeping his eyes fixed down. He shrugs.

“What about renting a room?”

“… Got robbed.” Ash mumbles, still looking away.

“Oh, baby… I’m sorry. Are you alright? I guess that’s a stupid question. Of course you aren’t.”

Ash shakes his head, beginning to eat.

“I’m alright.”

For a long moment, Beatrix doesn’t say anything, and Ash is happy to concentrate on his food. He hopes she’ll drop it.

“I can give you some cash, if…”

Ash immediately shakes his head no.

“No, I’m alright. I don’t need your money.”

“But…”

“Besides, your man’ll be mad if you’re short, won’t he?”

The room goes quiet then, and finally Ash looks up at her, sees her mouth pulled into a tight frown.

“… I’m sorry.” He hurries to apologize. “I shouldn’t ‘a just assumed…”

“No,” Beatrix shakes her head. “it’s alright. You’re right. It’s not really my money to just… give away.”

Ash feels shitty, then. Feels like a jerk.

“It should be.” He blurts. “You’re the one doin’ all the work for it.”

Beatrix laughs at that.

“You’re sweet.” She smiles, reaching out, ruffling his hair.

“No I ain’t…” Ash ducks away, turning his face aside. “I ain’t sweet.”

“You are. You’re a good kid.” She insists. “It’s not right, you livin’ this life.”

Ash scowls, dropping his fork.

“It’s my life.” He spits.

Beatrix pulls her hand back, frowning, her face confused.

Ash thinks of Dad. Thinks of what he told him. ‘Make sure you get paid’, he’d said.

Like it was natural.

Like it was natural for what happened to have happened.

Like it was what was meant for him.

Papa told him so too. Papa told him he was made for this. Told him he was perfect for it.

He can’t explain all that to Beatrix, though. Can’t make her understand.

This was his life. It was the only life he was ever gonna’ have. Only life he was ever meant to have.

He wasn’t sweet.

He was a filthy whore, was what he was.

He belonged on the street. He belonged in this life.

His eyes burn. He wipes clumsily at them with the back of his hand.

“I’m tired.” He mutters. “Can I go to sleep?”

“Yeah, of course. Of course, Ash.” Beatrix tells him. “Here, I’ve… I’ve got a futon. Lemme’ just set it up for you.”

Ash feels bad. He shouldn’t ‘a snapped at her like that. Wasn’t her fault. She was just tryin’ to be nice. Just bein’ kind. She didn’t know him. Didn’t know what he was. Where he came from. He feels like shit.

He watches as she folds the bed out from the ratty looking couch, sets it up with a blanket and pillow.

“There you go, hon.” She smiles at him again. “Hope it’s not too uncomfortable.”

“… Thank you.” Ash whispers. Can’t look at her now. Feels like such an asshole. “I’m sorry. I’m just causin’ you trouble.”

“No you ain’t, Ash. It’s alright. Come on. Get some sleep. Don’t worry about anything.”

Ash don’t argue. He can barely keep his eyes open. By the time he gets to lyin’ down and Beatrix has turned the lights out, it’s barely a few minutes before he’s lost to the world, pulled down deep into black dreams.

//

“I’ll pay you back the next time I see you.” Ash promises come daylight. Beatrix tries to tell him he doesn’t have to, but Ash has learned it’s best not to owe anyone any favors, if he can help it. So he keeps insisting until she accepts, and then he’s gone, back out onto the streets.

He takes the subway back to 42nd. Billy’s there, loitering around in front of the peep shows. Ash makes his way toward him.

“Hey, there you are, man!” Billy greets. He slings his arm around Ash’s shoulders, pulling him in against his side and rubbing his knuckles against his scalp. Ash tries pulling away, but Billy doesn’t let him. “I thought you might’ve bought it last night, kid. Man, it was cold.”

“It’s still cold.” Ash grumbles, annoyed.

Billy laughs.

“So, where’d you end up?” He asks, finally letting Ash go, pulling out a pack of cigs. He knocks one loose and holds it out.

“Thanks.” Ash takes it. He waits for Billy to light him up before answering. “I ran into Betty Boop and she let me crash at her place.”

“Damn, lucky.” Billy laughs again.

“What about you and the guys?” Ash asks, takin’ a drag, letting the smoke seep out slow through his nose.

“Me and Zach made it into a shelter. Dunno’ ‘bout the others.” Billy tells him, takin’ his own drag.

Ash feels somethin’ sick slither through his guts at that. He hopes no one died.

“I wish it was summer.” Ash says.

“You say that now,” Billy answers. “but you’ll be just as miserable when it’s fuckin’ 90 with humidity.”

Ash frowns, takes another drag off his cig.

“Yeah, but at least I won’t have to worry ‘bout freezin’ to death at night.”

“True that.” Billy grins at him.

They stand there for a little while then, not sayin’ nothin’, and Ash hopes it’ll stay that way, but of course it doesn’t.

“So you stayed out workin’ last night. You crazy, man. I hope you at least made bank.”

Ash swallows, stares down at the cigarette between his fingers, flicks the ash from it. He shrugs.

“How much you make? You couldn’t afford a room?”

Ash brings the cigarette to his lips, sucks on it hard. The smoke burns down his throat.

He remembers the first time he smoked a cigarette. Billy’d given it to him. He’d felt like he was going to cough up one of his own lungs. He’d never tasted anything so disgusting. Like breathing in tar and fire. He guesses that’s what it was, really. Guesses you could get used to anything, after a while.

“I got robbed.” He admits finally, his face warming at it.

Billy scoffs like he knew he would.

“The fuck, man. How? You ridin’ the sub again? I told you not to do that shit.”

“I didn’t have no place...” Ash starts.

Billy cuffs him against the back of the head, and Ash stumbles forward a step, the blow leaving a dull throb through his skull. He doesn’t say nothin’. He was used to Billy hittin’ him now.

“How much you lose, man?”

Ash hesitates.

“… Eighty-three bucks.” He finally says.

He cringes, expecting another hit, but Billy just sighs, shakin’ his head.

“Dumbass. You ain’t never gonna’ make it out here.”

“I’ve made it three years already.” Ash sneers up at him.

“Yeah, ‘cause ‘a me.” Billy sneers back. “You little dweeb. You need a fuckin’ gun.

“… Can’t afford a gun.” Ash looks away, miserable.

“Look at you. You can’t weigh more’n sixty pounds soakin’ wet. You need a gun.”

“I said I can’t afford no gun. Lemme’ alone, Billy.”

“I could lend you the cash.”

“No.” Ash shakes his head.

“Why the hell not?”

“I don’t wanna’ owe no favors. Lemme’ alone.”

Billy tsks.

“You’re so fuckin’ suspicious Ash. The hell’s wrong with you? I’m offerin’ to help.”

“No you ain’t, Billy. You’re an opportunist. You’ll hold it over me ‘till I pay you back somehow.”

Ash sees Billy’s hand come up, but he ain’t fast enough to get outta’ the way. An instant later he’s on the ground, the taste of blood on his tongue, his lip pulsating in pain.

“What kinda’ kid talks like that?” Billy frowns down at him, shakin’ out his hand. “How old is you, Ash? Eleven? You’re the weirdest fuckin’ kid I ever met.”

Ash wipes at his bloody lip, stares at the bright red against his fingers.

He doesn’t say anything as he pushes himself to his feet, dusting the snow off his pants.

He dropped his cigarette. Great.

Billy keeps eyein’ him, and Ash wonders if he’ll hit him again.

He sniffs, wiping at his nose.

“Just leave me alone Billy.” He mutters. “I don’t wanna’ kill no one.”

“Why? You already did, didn’t ya?”

Ash’s eyes sting and he turns his face away.

“… I shouldn’t ‘a told you that.” He whispers to himself, but Billy hears him anyway.

“Yeah, well, you did, Ash. Whatch’u think? You can be better than the rest ‘a us?”

Ash wraps his arms around himself, vision blurring.

“… I ain’t better than no one.” He whispers again.

“Damn straight, you isn’t. You wanna’ make it out here, Ash, you gonna’ have to let go ‘a that soft touch you got.”

“Fuck you, Billy.” Ash spits, but Billy only laughs.

“You wanna’ busted nose to go with that lip?”

Ash doesn’t say nothin’.

He thinks of Griff. Thinks of how his brother used to hold him at night when he got scared ‘a the dark, or whatever. Thinks of how his brother was so kind.

He misses him so much.

“Pff, whatever, kid. I’m outta’ here. See ya around, I guess.”

Ash doesn’t watch him go. Wasn’t no point.

Guesses he better get to hookin’, if he wanted to eat. If he wanted some place to stay tonight.

He wipes at his nose, and doesn’t think about much at all as he trudges his way down the street to stand in his usual spot.

Link to my a03: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wbss21/works

[g5mlp]

Here's the entire My Little Pony 2024 Franchise Overview presentation. This was originally distributed online in mid-June 2023, and we reported on it then, but there are a couple of details that didn't make it into the post.

Download links 2024 Franchise Overview 2023 Marketing Plans Hasbro Brands Overview

Slides 2–4. Various random stats which are mostly not important or not properly contextualized. I have just a slight feeling that the stat on slide 3 implying that MLP is bigger than Barbie at the moment is cherrypicked.

Slides 5–6. Slide 6 is the first slide with specific data about Tell Your Tale viewers. It tells us that Tell Your Tale outperformed Make Your Mark on audience approval and toy purchase basket size, and that it outperformed other franchises on repeat toy purchase rate. There are a few more of these stats on slide 20.

Slides 7–9. Tell Your Tale Season 2 will be real, and will have four specials (the accompanying visuals don't seem to be related, other than the beach stuff for special 2). They didn't really explain what "hair play in every episode" or "more magical moments" will mean, although maybe the former is intended to encourage the purchase of toys.

Slides 10–12. This is basically a summary of things that have already been done within the MLP brand over the last few years. "LBE" means "location-based entertainment".

Slide 10 seems to indicate that there are about 7 songs left to be released in Tell Your Tale Season 1.

On slide 12, from left to right, the featured things are the VR book My Little Pony: Virtual Magic; the Sofia Carson-narrated Calm "sleep story"; the I Can Read Comics Level 1 book Sister Switch; the first issue of the G5 IDW comics; the MLP mascots at the Galaxyland theme park in Edmonton, Canada; a render of the lobby of the My Little Pony & Transformers Playlodge in Shanghai; and the "Flight to Equestria" ferris wheel at Galaxyland.

Slides 13–14. Mostly licensed merch, although the Izzy brushable on slide 14 still hasn't been seen anywhere other than this presentation.

Slide 15. Another indication that Make Your Mark won't get anything in 2024: the best they can say about it is that it will "live on Netflix" (i.e. won't be removed from Netflix), which was probably going to happen anyway.

Given the "new episodes weekly" statement, 328 minutes can be neatly divided into 4 22-minute episodes and 48 5-minute episodes, all for Tell Your Tale. Consistent episode lengths make sense for Hasbro, since they intend to license their shows out to TV networks with standard half-hour programming blocks.

"Linear and AVOD" probably refers to traditional TV channels and ad-supported free streaming sites. Some past MLP content is already available on "AVOD" sites such as Pluto TV.

It seems like G5 music will continue to have that generic pop sound.

It's implied that some of the video games shown will be updated in 2024. Maybe not all of them, though, since the MLP Roblox game (Visit Maretime Bay) was shut down in February 2023.

Slides 16–17. They want to grow viewership a lot and convert it to toy purchases. They call Tell Your Tale their "one & only ponable content series"; obviously, maintaining two ongoing animated shows would directly contradict this statement.

The Pipp, Misty, Sunny and Izzy brushables shown all seem to be new, as is the concept art for the accessories of the former three. The Izzy brushable is probably the same one as on slide 14.

Slide 18. They will do a bunch of promo stuff, including releasing a licensed console video game in Q3 2024. The first and third Tell Your Tale specials are to be the tentpole moments (i.e. big marketing focal points) of 2024.

Slides 19–20. Slide 20 features some more new stats on how well Tell Your Tale is performing; it has 177 million cumulative YouTube views, good repeat viewership and better repeat purchase rate than Make Your Mark.

This image is from a different presentation, "2023 Marketing Plans". This slide reveals the Secrets of Starlight logo for the fourth and final My Little Pony: Make Your Mark special.

The "album launch" could be referring to the My Little Pony Theme Song (Sped Up + lofi remixes) EP that was released today. Or maybe something else?

This slide is from the other presentation that was revealed, "Hasbro Brands Overview". It doesn't really reveal anything that wasn't previously known, although it does suggest that Bridlewoodstock will feature in more marketing content through the rest of the year.

Notes

Almost all of the text in the 2024 Franchise Overview presentation is shown in the Calibri font. It doesn't seem like it was originally intended to be that way, and I think it might be due to custom fonts not being loaded properly by whoever converted the presentation to PDF. In spite of this issue, the presentation is likely genuine, evidenced by the high quality images embedded in it, including a shot from a future Tell Your Tale episode on slide 8.

Slides 15 and 18 both note that future plans are subject to change. However, it's probably somewhat unlikely that Hasbro could return to Make Your Mark in 2024. Even if they were to commission more Make Your Mark episodes right now, and could justify the budget for it, it would probably still take more than a year before the first episodes could be completed. I could be wrong about this, but there's nothing to suggest that it would be in the interest of Hasbro, Netflix, Atomic Cartoons or anyone else (except maybe the fans) for Make Your Mark to be renewed after 2023.

While the TYT Audience Report and MLP Shopper Analysis by AIM & We Are Family both seem to be focused on 2- to 8-year-old girls, it's not necessarily an indication that Hasbro is focused solely on this demographic – they might just be the most lucrative demographic, or the one whose analysis produced the best numbers to show to Hasbro's investors and partners.

[kaspenhoward]

A Day In The Queens Home When Anne Is In Hyper fixation Mode:

The Queens minus Anne: [Peaking through the doorway to the living room]

Kat whispering as to not disturb Anne: Has she even moved this whole time?

Anna: Not unless it’s to flip a page, pick up the next book, shift around, or go to the bathroom.

Jane: Has she even ate or drank any water? She’s just been reading books about languages for hours. By the time she’s done she’ll know of the history of every language in the world.

Catalina slightly loud: Out of all the forsaken things the lady can even obsess over, it’s the history of languages that she’s interested in??

Everyone minus Catalina and Anne: Shhhhh!!!

Catalina quieter: Alright! Alright! I get it, I’ll be quiet.

Cathy: Should we be more concerned about the fact that Anne literally is so engrossed with such an arbitrary subject that she won’t even move from her spot on the couch and has devoured three books in less than the span of 48 hours?!

Jane concerned: She didn’t sleep last night??

Cathy: No. She went upstairs and pretended to sleep for a few minutes so Catalina would go through her nightly check of all our rooms, see that everyone was asleep, and then would go to sleep when she knowing everyone was safe and accounted for. Anne then went back to her place on the couch and read through the entirety of night where we found her reading this morning up to now.

Kat: Should we.. try to snap her out of it? She really should get some sleep. And drink and eat something.

Jane: I don’t know. She might be going through something and avoiding it, she does seem to be enjoying herself though.. Cathy?

Cathy: I read about something like this on the internet. It’s called “hyper fixation” and is a symptom of the mental illness called “Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder”, which could actually explain plenty of Anne’s behaviors and difference in personality since reincarnation. When some is “hyper fixating” the person for a period of time obsesses on a person, activity, object, concept, story, or topic, when this occurs the person usually ignores everyone and everything around them. “Tuning out” reality. Of course they can provide their attention to reality around them when they unfocus but will continue to consistently think and talk about it. I think this is what’s going on with Anne. It isn’t really as bad as it seems though, as long as the person maintains a connection with reality, makes sure to care for oneself, and practices grounding techniques they’ll be fine.

All the queens minus Anne and Cathy: . . .

Anna: Babes. I hope you know we didn’t understand half of what you said. But does this thing, that you just explained, the reason why Anne is so scarily smart?

Cathy: No exactly but it does encourage her thirst for knowledge.

Kat: Doesn’t answer my question, what are we gonna do about this? [Gestures to Anne, sitting on the couch intensely reading a book about the history of the Norwegian language]

Cathy: Just because I know what’s going on doesn’t mean I know what to do!

Catalina: Can’t we just get her some food and water and put some sleeping drugs in it?

Jane: No Catalina. We’re not drugging Anne! But the food and water suggestion is probably the better idea. Maybe Kat can coax her into sleeping?

Kat: I may have legendary cuddles but it is impossible to coax Anne into sleeping.

Anna: Just give it a shot, maybe her exhaustion will catch up to her!

The Queens minus Anne and Kat: [Look at Kat expectingly with pleading eyes]

Kat:

Kat: [Sigh] I love my cousin, but why am I the one always sent to the do the dirty work?

The other queens: We love you Kat!

Kat: Yeah.. Yeah.. Sure, just go get the stuff for Anne-

Anne pauses, closes her book, and stares at all of them with bloodshot eyes: . . .

The Other Queens, Frozen: . . .

Anne: . . .

Jane: Did you-

Anne: Yes I heard everything you guys are uncharacteristically loud and I can’t tune out noise no matter how quiet it is. I read like this in my past life just like in this one. Yes someone please get me something to eat and drink my head is pounding, and yes I’ll gladly take some Kat cuddles. I should be mad at you all for suggesting drugging me and discussing of me like this but I am worse for wear enough that I’ll accept the help.

The Queens Minus Anne: [Let out a collective sigh of relief]

Catalina: I’ll just take- [Reaches for Anne’s book]

Anne: Hands off my book. Lina, My acceptance for help does not equate to stealing my property!

The Other Queens: [Muffled giggles]

Catalina: Yup. Should have seen that one coming. Ever the queen you still are.

Anne: Once a Queen always a Queen. We’re all Queens here. I must thank you all for worrying about me, now if that’s over, I was promised some cuddles?

[unablethethird]

once again

Same with you skip the weird ones

1: Name Robert [rob]

2: Age 14

3: 3 Fears 1- Friends dying/getting hurt 2-Going back to the last place i lived 3-Not being able to help/be there

4: 3 things I love 1-My frens 2-Laptop 3-headphones

7: My best friend You and yaya [irl]

8: Sexual orientation AroAce [fictoromantic/fictosexual, and kinda orchidromantic]

10: How tall am I 166cm [for now]

11: What do I miss

cant think of anything rn

12: What time were I born 4am

13: Favorite color red, orange, purple, black

15: Favorite quote "Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night, light a man *on* fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life"

16: Favorite place Arcade

17: Favorite food Imjaderah [rice+yoghurt+beans]

18: Do I use sarcasm sometimes, not rlly tho

19: What am I listening to right now

20: First thing I notice in new person Not sure, maybe symptoms???? but not on purpose

21: Shoe size No idea

22: Eye color dark brown [almost black]

23: Hair color black

24: Favorite style of clothing 1920s men atire

25: Ever done a prank call? Not that i can remember

27: Meaning behind my URL I mean this is the 3rd acc

28: Favorite movie THE LORAX!!!!

29: Favorite song right now it's

30: Favorite band FamilyJules? LemonDemon? Will wood? Chonny jash?

31: How I feel right now My body's scared but im chilling

32: Someone I love You /p

33: My current relationship status AroAce, platonically married

34: My relationship with my parents lol

35: Favorite holiday Eid al adha, free money

36: Tattoos and piercing i have Ear

37: Tattoos and piercing i want Sleeve tattoo when i transition

38: The reason I joined Tumblr Needed to continue a fic/comic that was on tumblr

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? idk

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? thank you fren /gen

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? my dad? maybe when i was really young

42: When did I last hold hands? My little sister, i didnt want her to get run over when crossing the road

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? As long as i have, if u give me an hour i'll take an hour, if you give me 30 seconds i'll take 30 seconds

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Nope, i get gender dysphoria from shaving my legs/arms

45: Where am I right now? Bed

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Mum, not dad

49: Am I excited for anything? Turning 18 and going uni and being a human person with a human life

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Im an oversharer

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Im autistic so not in a deppressed way

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Cant remember

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? H [irl]

55: What is something I disliked about today? My sister stealing money from my mum, i was this close to having smoke outta my ears, she should know better

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? God, im going to beat the shit out of him

57: What do I think about most? Cringe memories i guess?

58: What’s my strangest talent? I can bird whistle

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Touch might be strange?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind fs

61: What was the last lie I told? "I don't know who they were talking about" [i didn't want to hurt her feelings]

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? voice, video is a nightmare

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yea because either i've seen them or im delusional [im delusional]. aliens are a given, even a bacteria could be one

64: Do I believe in magic? Kinda? idrk, maybe

65: Do I believe in luck? yea

66: What’s the weather like right now? cloudy n cold

67: What was the last book I’ve read? DnD rulebook

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? LVORE IT LOIF LVOE LOVE IT

69: Do I have any nicknames? I get called by my last name a lot

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? not sure

71: Do I spend money or save it? Save

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Unfortunatly no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? My sisters deoderant

74: Favorite animal?

FOXES!!!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? calming myself down

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I dont think he has one, idk im not religious

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Corny/cringe as hell but Honeypie by JAWNY

78: How can you win my heart? havent thought about it

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

I TOLD YOU MY FOOT WAS KILLING ME

80: What is my favorite word? supercalifragilisticexpialadocious

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr Moots

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? your god is the right one [chaos]

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not currently, but my dad and some uncles were

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Time manipulation

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i dont think questions are scary

86: What is my current desktop picture? basic

90: Failed a class? classes

94: Had job? I have one now, dont always get paid though

95: Left the house without my wallet? Dont have a wallet

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no

98: Played on a sports team?

Unless school sport team counts

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no

104: Been overweight? No

105: Been underweight? yea

106: Been to a wedding? ye

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Duh

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? maybe i dont remember

109: Been outside my home country? Technically im from iran, and i live in australia, so, yeah

110: Gotten my heart broken? i guess

111: Been to a professional sports game? no

112: Broken a bone? no

113: Cut myself? yeah Im stopping though

114: Been to prom? we dont have that

115: Been in airplane?

Yeah

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? kinda

119: Learned another language? I know arabic and english

120: Wore make up? Forced to when i was younger but not anymore

123: Dyed my hair? Part of it purple, but its gone now

124: Voted in a presidential election? Cant vote, eitherway all of em suck

125: Rode in an ambulance? Yep

126: Had a surgery? not sure, memory bad

127: Met someone famous? Not that i know of

128: Stalked someone on a social network? mutuals tumblrs

129: Peed outside? Yea

130: Been fishing? nope

131: Helped with charity? yep

132: Been rejected by a crush? nope

133: Broken a mirror? Yep

134: What do I want for birthday? Wouldn't ever happen because it's expensive as fuck but a pump it up machine

i usually get a slice of cake tho

[theputterer]

Good Things In 2023

It’s that time of year again! Time to remember all the good things that happened in 2023. I’ve done this since 2017, and highly recommend doing this as a fun way to reflect (and to have something for future reference when you are feeling Down.)

woof ok here we go

PERSONAL

I visited two countries I haven't been to before: the Netherlands and Iceland!

The Netherlands: mostly Amsterdam but did also pop down to The Hague for a day. Did the Van Gogh Museum, the Anne Frank House, the Rijksmuseum, the Bloemenmarkt, a canal boat tour, the Royal Palace, the Mauritshuis.

Iceland: I was there for less than 48 hours but I saw THE NORTHERN LIGHTS!!!! they were subtler than I expected but so cool. also did the Perlan Museum and a Lava Show, which ruled.

Related: I turned 30 this year!

My dear friend Sam came to visit me in Dublin in June! The highlight of her visit was going with her to see Hozier at Malahide Castle.

Speaking of which, Hozier dropped UNREAL UNEARTH which isn't personal, per se, but is very personal to me

My sister visited me in November! We squeezed a lot in her time here, but highlights were Glendalough, the Hill of Tara, and the Galway Christmas Market.

A few aunts went on a trip to Ireland this fall and I joined them for a bit up in Donegal, as well as a day trip to Derry, which I'd not been to before.

Completely fucking forgot about this but I did write a 158k word long ROGUE ONE / FRINGE AU, ENDLESS FORMS MOST BEAUTIFUL. it was a real fuckin bitch to finish, let me tell you that

I got really into MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE over the summer (don't ask) and wrote a couple short pieces inspired by the most recent movie, DEAD RECKONING - PART ONE: LADY LAZARUS and WORTHY THE NAME OF SIR KNIGHT.

I jumped back on my bullshit in October and wrote a long, extended epilogue to my BINARY STAR SYSTEMS trilogy: TWO DESERTS. the way the series ended was always correct and good but it was fun to write this extended epilogue focusing on the fallout, the question of what it's like to live past the end of your myth.

Anything bolded below is something I particularly enjoyed and recommend. 

MOVIES

2023 movies I saw and liked:

M3GAN

KNOCK AT THE CABIN

65

BONO AND THE EDGE, A SORT OF HOMECOMING WITH DAVID LETTERMAN

DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES

RENFIELD

THREE MUSKETEERS: D'ARTAGNAN

JOHN MULANEY: BABY J

SISU

THE LITTLE MERMAID

SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER VERSE

ASTEROID CITY

INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING - PART ONE

BARBIE

OPPENHEIMER

PAST LIVES

ELEMENTAL

A HAUNTING IN VENICE

CHEVALIER

KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON

BOTTOMS

THE ROYAL HOTEL

DREAM SCENARIO

ANATOMY OF A FALL

THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES

EILEEN

NAPOLEON

GODZILLA MINUS ONE

FERRARI

2022 movies I saw and liked:

TAR

THE LOST CITY

WOMEN TALKING

TV

THE LAST OF US

PEAKY BLINDERS

BOOKS

super embarrassing how few books I read this year:

"Survival of the Richest: Escape Fantasies of the Tech Billionaires" by Douglas Rushkoff

"Donegal Folk Tales" by Joe Brennan

"Listen to the Land Speak: A Journey into the Wisdom of What Lies Beneath Us" by Manchan Magan

"Hell Bent" by Leigh Bardugo

"The Book of M" by Peng Shepherd

"The World We Make" by NK Jemisin

"The Echo Wife" by Sarah Gailey

"Daisy Jones and the Six" by Taylor Jenkins Reid

"White Cat, Black Dog: Stories" by Kelly Link

"Yellowface" by RF Kuang

"Ithaca" by Claire North

"Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI" by David Grann

"A Heart That Works" by Rob Delaney

"Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier

"The Crying Book" by Heather Christie

"In the Dream House" by Carmen Maria Machado

"Rogues: True Stories of Grifters, Killers, Rebels, and Crooks" by Patrick Radden Keefe

"Fleabag" by Phoebe Waller-Bridge

"The Hurricane Wars" by Thea Guanzon

OTHER GOOD THINGS

*some of these things are Good as in well-written or well-made, but maybe not Good in topic.

"Eurydice" by Adrienne Su

"What Happens to a School Shooter's Sister?" by Jennifer Gonnerman for The New Yorker. A high school student murders his parents and several students at his school, and his sister is left to pick up the pieces. really powerful story on unconditional love.

"A Friend Died, Her Novel Unfinished. Could I Realize Her Vision?" by Leslie Jamison for The New Yorker. the grief of losing not only a dear friend but her art as well.

"Fuck you, I don't know?"

Werner Herzog pronounces Eeyore.

George Washington's Dream for America, an SNL sketch.

Judi Dench performs Shakespeare.

"Walking Brittany Home" by Devin Faraci for Washington Post. a really beautiful piece on death and love.

This thread on the struggle of trying to be fashionable in Ireland.

"The Return of the Marriage Plot: Why everyone is so eager for men and women to get hitched" by Rebecca Traister for The Cut.

"We Were Never Supposed to See Our Own Faces This Much" by Lola Christina Alao for Dazed Digital. on social media and personal reflection.

sunwoof

this story about Jimmy Buffett I loved

"She Wasn't Able to Get an Abortion. Now She's A Mom. Soon She'll Start Seventh Grade" by Charlotte Alter for Time. the cruelty is the point.

had a pilot named Ken yesterday and he introduced himself by saying his job is plane

"Cillian Murphy might be the star of a massive movie atm but to me he will always be the guy that showed up in the rain to our abortion rights marches"

"The 'Troubling Reverberations' at the End of OPPENHEIMER, Explained" by Bilge Ebiri for Vulture. it's an absolutely devastating ending, but the fact remains: there was no other way to end it.

this obituary for the great Sinéad O'Connor.

Kiké Hernandez returned to the Dodgers!

this behind the scenes video from the filming of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING - PART ONE where Tom Cruise's co-stars watch him drive a motorcycle off a cliff.

"How Christopher Nolan Learned to Stop Worrying and Love AI" by Maria Streshinsky for Wired. good interview with Nolan, one of my favorite filmmakers / artists. (anyone who's ever read anything I've written is probably like yes, this is very obvious.)

"The Perils and Promises of Penis-Enlargement Surgery" by Ava Kofman for The New Yorker. an absolutely BONKERS but super important piece!

a new ending to RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, lmao

"The Return of Ryan Gosling" by Zach Baron for GQ. really great profile writing going on here!

"LOST Illusions: The Untold Story of the Hit Show's Poisonous Culture" by Maureen Ryan for Vanity Fair. LOST is one of my favorite shows and has been super influential on my work. (again, this is probably very obvious). this piece is devastating in how it reveals the terrible racism and sexism behind the scenes of a show I have loved. important.

Henry Kissinger died this year (GOOD THINGS BABYYY) and this piece by Nick Turse, which came out in May, is a good explainer on why that's such good news: "Kissinger's Killing Fields".

"Talking With 'Swiftie Dads' at a Taylor Swift Concert" by Eileen Cartter for GQ. I thought this was very sweet.

The New York Times had an interactive feature about Connie Chung and her impact on young Chinese-American women, particularly the ones named after her. I love this video of her meeting some of them.

"Will A.I. Become the New McKinsey?" by Ted Chiang for The New Yorker. Chiang is best known as the writer of STORY OF YOUR LIFE which was adapted into ARRIVAL, so it's wise to listen to him when it comes to tech and science.

Loved this speech Mark Hamill gave about Carrie Fisher at her Hollywood Walk of Fame induction ceremony.

Accents white people can still do.

this absolutely incredible slapstick esque unintentional comedy scene.

As always, tagging anyone who’d like to do this!

@magalis @callioope @earnestfeeling @illuminahsti @fortysevenswrites @vaderkat @leaiorganas @garethsedwards @rifle-yes @buffyrat @alittlemomentum @i-am-slain @rogue-rook

[daydream-the-demon]

1: Name

2: Age

3: 3 Fears

4: 3 things I love

5: 4 turns on

6: 4 turns off

7: My best friend

8: Sexual orientation

9: My best first date

10: How tall am I

11: What do I miss

12: What time were I born

13: Favorite color

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favorite quote

16: Favorite place

17: Favorite food

18: Do I use sarcasm

19: What am I listening to right now

20: First thing I notice in new person

21: Shoe size

22: Eye color

23: Hair color

24: Favorite style of clothing

25: Ever done a prank call?

27: Meaning behind my URL

28: Favorite movie

29: Favorite song

30: Favorite band

31: How I feel right now

32: Someone I love

33: My current relationship status

34: My relationship with my parents

35: Favorite holiday

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

42: When did I last hold hands?

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

45: Where am I right now?

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

49: Am I excited for anything?

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

55: What is something I disliked about today?

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

57: What do I think about most?

58: What’s my strangest talent?

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

61: What was the last lie I told?

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

64: Do I believe in magic?

65: Do I believe in luck?

66: What’s the weather like right now?

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

69: Do I have any nicknames?

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

71: Do I spend money or save it?

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

74: Favorite animal?

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

78: How can you win my heart?

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

80: What is my favorite word?

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

86: What is my current desktop picture?

87: Had sex?

88: Bought condoms?

89: Gotten pregnant?

90: Failed a class?

91: Kissed a boy?

92: Kissed a girl?

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

94: Had job?

95: Left the house without my wallet?

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

97: Had sex in public?

98: Played on a sports team?

99: Smoked weed?

100: Did drugs?

101: Smoked cigarettes?

102: Drank alcohol?

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

104: Been overweight?

105: Been underweight?

106: Been to a wedding?

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

109: Been outside my home country?

110: Gotten my heart broken?

111: Been to a professional sports game?

112: Broken a bone?

113: Cut myself?

114: Been to prom?

115: Been in airplane?

116: Fly by helicopter?

117: What concerts have I been to?

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

119: Learned another language?

120: Wore make up?

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

122: Had oral sex?

123: Dyed my hair?

124: Voted in a presidential election?

125: Rode in an ambulance?

126: Had a surgery?

127: Met someone famous?

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

129: Peed outside?

130: Been fishing?

131: Helped with charity?

132: Been rejected by a crush?

133: Broken a mirror?

134: What do I want for birthday?

skip the weird ones/ones your uncomfortable w

All of them under cut:

1: Name

I just realized what I wanted to be called. I'm Alexander Cifra Hyde now!

2: Age

13!

3: 3 Fears

Death, nothing being real, [insert existential thought].

4: 3 things I love

My friends, fandoms, Tape Five.

5: 4 turns on

Uhh. I read fanfiction so here are fanfiction ones: Cannibalism, MC being insane, power dynamics, older characters.

6: 4 turns off

Also fanfiction: Can't think of anything except AWKWARD MOMENTS THAT YOU JUST HAVE TO CRINGE AT.

7: My best friend

@author-of-the-year

8: Sexual orientation

Repulsed Aromantic Asexual, but also Aegofictoromantic Aegofictosexual.

9: My best first date

Never had one and never will. Being single is a liberty if you think of it as one.

10: How tall am I

155 centimeters or about 5'1".

11: What do I miss

I miss a lot of things. Mostly miss the time I was actually happy.

12: What time were I born

Two days ago! August 12th is my birthday!

13: Favorite color

Black (all-timer), Gold, Blood-Red... That is my favorites.

14: Do I have a crush

Nah. Well friend crushes? A couple.

15: Favorite quote

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." It helped me not feel like a failure. I like this quote. I think about it quite a bit.

16: Favorite place

My home I guess. Old Town Cottonwood is also amazing.

17: Favorite food

I made my own recipe: Rice, fried grated carrots, eggs, cilantro, and

18: Do I use sarcasm

Sometimes? I mean I don't really use it but on certain occasions I will. Sarcasm seems rude to me in certain context, or I'll use it as joking if I just did something and then go "What? I didn't do that. Yep, totally didn't."

19: What am I listening to right now

I am in love with the song Forever Young by Tape Five.

20: First thing I notice in new person

Usually their voice and manner of speaking and how they look. Though I'm not quick to judge a book by its cover.

21: Shoe size

6'5 women's and extra wide I'm sure.

22: Eye color

I HAVE GREY EYES!

23: Hair color

My natural hair color is dirty blonde, and due to how my hair works, it keeps getting darker. (When I was younger I had completely bright blonde hair, now it's dirty-blonde, and then it will be dark brown like my dad.) I have it dyed red though!

24: Favorite style of clothing

SUITS! SUITS. Victorian Era or 1920s style? I can't have enough of it. I wear a tuxedo every day!

25: Ever done a prank call?

I barely even do calls on my own. And no. It's just not- No.

27: Meaning behind my URL

Well, I am Daydream. I'm Daydream because I am a Maladaptive Daydreamer and I create things from my daydreams! I'm a demon. I'm a demonic entity. I have liked too many demons in my time and ever since I was 7 I would draw pentagrams for no reason. I am just demonic.

28: Favorite movie

I HAVE ONE AT THE TIP OF MY TONGUE- AAAAA- WAIT. I just recently watched "Don't Look Up"! THAT'S THE MOVIE! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

29: Favorite song

Forever Young by Tape Five is my current obsession and favorite song.

30: Favorite band

Tape Five if you couldn't tell.

31: How I feel right now

I'm happy, I just got the Book of Bill and I am thrilled. I also love answering questions!

32: Someone I love

@author-of-the-year and all my friends. I don't think I could live without them... (Literally-)

33: My current relationship status

Single? Taken? Honestly weird-ass shiz. I do have a "boyfriend" but he's not really my boyfriend but yeah. I just say I'm taken so I don't have to explain what being AroAce is.

34: My relationship with my parents

I don't talk to them. They're transphobic and it's hard to live with that. I plan to move out and go no contact. They give me things I want and I'm living an okay life, but in constant anxiety.

35: Favorite holiday

Christmas!!! You get to scam your loved ones out of objects you want!!!

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

None.

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

I want to get an orbital earring on both ears! I also want a tattoo sometime. Something small but meaningful or something. I'd draw on my body anyways.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

When I learned Bill Cipher was a Tumblr sexyman, I just HAD to go to Tumblr. My first post is of Billtober and of a drawing of Bill Cipher.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

Not related. Single and always was.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

Yeah!!! From my very sweet discord server.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

I never kissed anyone before. Except like on the knuckles, but I don't text her.

42: When did I last hold hands?

With my mom probably. I don't like physical contact at all.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

I usually wake up at 6 AM or 6:10 AM and finish getting ready at 6:40 AM. Putting an entire suit on and then getting everything I need for the day AND breakfast in about 30-40 minutes? That's right!

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

I don't shave. Makes me feel manly also I don't ever want to feel razor burn AGAIN. Legs are also useless to shave since I always wear dress pants anyways and my hair is light.

45: Where am I right now?

In my chair in my room in my house in my state in my country.

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

Probably myself in this hypothetical scenario. I don't usually have anyone to rely on. If my online friends were with me though, they would take care of me.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

My mom says it's too loud but I think it's reasonable.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

I live with my mom and step-dad, my biological dad is in Russia.

49: Am I excited for anything?

Reading the Book of Bill, and whatnot. Drawing.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

Opposite sex? No probably not. Opposite gender? Yes.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

That, my child, is called autistic masking!!! I do it all the time!

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

My mom because she asked, like a couple months ago.

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

Never kissed anybody. Also I'm not a jealous bitch. If it was in the context of cheating? Their problem, not mine.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

There is always a reason I trust someone. Real trust doesn't come easy with me.

55: What is something I disliked about today?

School.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

ALL MY ONLINE FRIENDS!

57: What do I think about most?

Art, and fandoms, and songs.

58: What’s my strangest talent?

Hm... I can put a leg around my head. I have hyperflexibility (but I'm not as flexible now).

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

Small dogs. They just creep my out. I don't like small dogs. Also some thoughts relating to existential crises some people would consider weird.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Not sure what this means. Oh! I am a model, of course I have to be on camera! I'm a youtuber and a star!

61: What was the last lie I told?

"I'm not trans."

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

VIDEO CHATTING!

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Ghosts? Not really. Seems untrue. But aliens? SURE AS HELL! They exist! In all the parallel universes and all the free open space in this universe we have with thousands of stars with thousands of inhabitable planets... Yes! It's proven they exist! Though none have reached Earth (as far as we know) and that we haven't reached any other lifeform... YET!

64: Do I believe in magic?

Depends on what type of magic. Though usually, I would say no. I don't believe in magic.

65: Do I believe in luck?

Well, statistically there is a concept of luck where odds are outbeat by other odds. Not like as a magical thing though, though I do have "lucky" objects I keep.

66: What’s the weather like right now?

Sunny, warm, and dry.

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

THE BOOK OF BILL!

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

Ew no. I don't like strong smells (even freshly cut grass and lavander piss me off).

69: Do I have any nicknames?

Daydream is my nickname, also Alex.

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

Broken wrist probably.

71: Do I spend money or save it?

Usually I save it and then I have a period where I'd spend it all. I'm pretty responsible with money.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

No.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

I have a pool floatie, an axolotl toy, my plants are pink, I have an old pink toy.

74: Favorite animal?

MOTHS! I also like axolotls a lot!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Staying up late looking at BillFord on Tumblr-

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

Oh huh. I don't think he has one. It's just Satan.

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Almost any Tape Five song I have an obsession with at the moment.

78: How can you win my heart?

Just be a good person to me, and CHAOS and WEIRDNESS!

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

I want my friends' words written on it. I want to be known that I was truly loved.

80: What is my favorite word?

Cannibalism, murder, evil... These are some of the words included in my vocal stims.

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

I can't really chose. I guess donniipao, calp0sa, author-of-the-year, timedoutradio, and every blog is great as long as there's content and they're a good person!

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

"I am god." I have to assert my dominance somehow!

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

No. Not that I know of.

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

TO DAYDREAM ANYTHING UP. That's my official superpower. I can daydream up anything and everything I want.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Oof this is a hard one. Depends on who is asking and what the question is. I have a lot of secrets to hide.

86: What is my current desktop picture?

Bill Cipher because he is my Ford's babygirl.

87-93 were deleted.

94: Had job?

I plan to have one! I want to be an art commissioner soon.

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Many times.

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

Yeah. I used to leave hate comments.

97 was deleted.

98: Played on a sports team?

99: Smoked weed?

No.

100: Did drugs?

I'm a good boy, no.

101: Smoked cigarettes?

I tried once.

102: Drank alcohol?

I tried beer before, not that good.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

I'm mostly a vegetarian in my diet, though on rare occasions I'll eat fish or meat.

104: Been overweight?

No.

105: Been underweight?

No.

106: Been to a wedding?

Yes! It was one of my favorite days. I was really young, I remember distinctly putting a bunch of stick-on googly eyes on my face because I am silly like that.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

Bitch what kind of question is that? I'm chronically online. I also draw a lot on my PC and I can get sucked into it.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

Like a couple times.

109: Been outside my home country?

I currently live in the USA and I'm from Russia, so yes.

110: Gotten my heart broken?

My friends have said to me things I am very deeply sad about.

111: Been to a professional sports game?

Nope.

112: Broken a bone?

I once broke my wrist because I fell backwards from sitting on the windowsill onto the floor.

113: Cut myself?

I have SHed before, so it's a specialty!

114: Been to prom?

No.

115: Been in airplane?

Aeroplanes are so cool! I've been in a couple, going from Russia to the US, and going to my step-sister's wedding.

116: Fly by helicopter?

Nope. Though I live near an aeroport!

117: What concerts have I been to?

I've been to an AJR Phoenix concert once! It was so cool.

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

I'm gay. Yes- Okay but seriously I'm aroace though I radiate gay energy so yeah no-?

119: Learned another language?

I learned English, and I'm currently trying to learn Italian.

120: Wore make up?

I'm slay! Of course I did! Though I don't do it often.

121-122 were deleted.

123: Dyed my hair?

My hair is dyed red currently, and previously I dyed it black.

124: Voted in a presidential election?

I'm not old enough to do that yet.

125: Rode in an ambulance?

No, I don't think so. If I have, I was really young.

126: Had a surgery?

No.

127: Met someone famous?

Sadly no. But my tumblr mutuals have a lotta followers!

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

I stalk some people, especially tumblr mutuals I want to be friends with but am awkward with.

129: Peed outside?

Yeah.

130: Been fishing?

I want to do it sometime.

131: Helped with charity?

No.

132: Been rejected by a crush?

I never confessed so- Never even tried because being loveless is amazing.

133: Broken a mirror?

Yep.

134: What do I want for birthday?

Well, I already got everything I want- Lol. I got my Book of Bill and I am ecstatic! I want a debt card though so I can finally start online commissions!

[zermizomilk]

Skip the weird ones, i realized 134 questions was going to be hard to sort 1: Name

2: Age

3: 3 Fears

4: 3 things I love

7: My best friend

8: Sexual orientation

9: My best first date

10: How tall am I

11: What do I miss

12: What time were I born

13: Favorite color

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favorite quote

16: Favorite place

17: Favorite food

18: Do I use sarcasm

19: What am I listening to right now

20: First thing I notice in new person

21: Shoe size

22: Eye color

23: Hair color

24: Favorite style of clothing

25: Ever done a prank call?

27: Meaning behind my URL

28: Favorite movie

29: Favorite song

30: Favorite band

31: How I feel right now

32: Someone I love

34: My relationship with my parents

35: Favorite holiday

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

42: When did I last hold hands?

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

45: Where am I right now?

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

49: Am I excited for anything?

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

55: What is something I disliked about today?

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

57: What do I think about most?

58: What’s my strangest talent?

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

61: What was the last lie I told?

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

64: Do I believe in magic?

65: Do I believe in luck?

66: What’s the weather like right now?

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

69: Do I have any nicknames?

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

71: Do I spend money or save it?

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

74: Favorite animal?

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

78: How can you win my heart?

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

80: What is my favorite word?

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

86: What is my current desktop picture?

90: Failed a class?

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

94: Had job?

95: Left the house without my wallet?

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

98: Played on a sports team?

99: Smoked weed?

100: Did drugs?

101: Smoked cigarettes?

102: Drank alcohol?

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

104: Been overweight?

105: Been underweight?

106: Been to a wedding?

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

109: Been outside my home country?

110: Gotten my heart broken?

111: Been to a professional sports game?

112: Broken a bone?

113: Cut myself?

114: Been to prom?

115: Been in airplane?

116: Fly by helicopter?

117: What concerts have I been to?

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

119: Learned another language?

120: Wore make up?

123: Dyed my hair?

124: Voted in a presidential election?

125: Rode in an ambulance?

126: Had a surgery?

127: Met someone famous?

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

129: Peed outside?

130: Been fishing?

131: Helped with charity?

132: Been rejected by a crush?

133: Broken a mirror?

134: What do I want for birthday?

1.

2. 14

3. uhh spiders, socialising??, idk what a third would be

4. animals, drawing, friends/p?

7. You Unable!

8. aro maybe ace activity figuring shit out

9. No

10. 180 cm

11. not being tired constantly

12. November

13. green, purple a nice maroon also

14. nope

15. rip and tear until it is done

16. i guess a forest

17. eggs

18. not well

19. i had some random video playing

20. the way they act with other people any differences like that

21. uhh 46- 48 Europe idk anything about shoes

22. blue ish

23. dark brown

24. idk

25. nah

27. zermizo is a made up word i made specifically for a username as for milk i don't remember the origin for that

28. no favourite

29. bad feeling

30. tally hall i guess

31. uneasy for some reason

32. stares in aromantic

34.

35. Christmas

36. i wish

37. ear piercing

38. deltarune

40. yes :]

42. good question

43. like 20 minutes and most of that is spent waking up

44. technically yes technically no, does burning it off count?

45. in bed

46. idk but id feel bad for making them do that

47. loud in my headphones

48. unfortunately

49. not particularly

50. does no gender or sometimes the same gender count?

51. not often school hasn't started yet

52. idk

53.

54. i wouldn't say so

55. the sun

56. idk you

57. alot of anger

58. idk

59. maybe not?

60. behind

61. won't happen again

62. talking on the phone i don't have the pressure of someones eyes

63. if ghosts were real they'd be fucking with us a whole lot more , aliens i like to go the idea that they are staying quiet because something else is out there and we're being loud making noises sending drawings of ourselves making ourselves a target, while they hide

64. not until i see it

65. if lucks a thing that explains alot

66. melt your skin off sunny

67. feather thief

68. nope

69. Mike and Zerm

70. idk

71. save mostly

72. no

73. a shirt

74. bird

75. eating

76. im not religious but i don't think he has one there's satan and then there's Lucifer

77. bendy and the ink musical

78. it's rotten ain't a prize

79.

80. defenestration

81. idk

82. start counting down to zero

83. no

84. idk flight

85. are you okay

86. default windows background

90. no

93. no

94. technically yes

95. no

96. nope

98. nah

99. nope

100. no

101. no

102. no

103. no

104. no

105. yes

106. yes

107. yes

108. no

109. no

110. no

111. nope

112. no

113. ...

114. no

115. no

116. nope

117. none

118. no

119. yes

120. no

123. no

124. no

125. nope

126. no

127. nope

128. no

129. yea

130. no

131. yes

132. can't get rejected if you don't have one

133. no

134.

[inkofamethyst]

December 17, 2023

Really kind of adore stories with parent figures fighting to find and protect their lost child (figure) while that child simultaneously grows up to become someone no longer in need of protecting! Broken Earth, The Witcher.. would love to find more books/series with that element, I think. Currently developing my reading list (finally starting some Sanderson!) and thinking about switching to Storygraph... only thing is that it's not as heavily utilized among my friends so I wouldn't necessarily be able to keep up with what they're reading. I suppose I don't necessarily want to be a "follower" in my friend group when it comes to doing a good thing, especially not with something that's ultimately a fairly inconsequential switch. Maybe that's a winter break goal.

You know what's wild? Last year one of my labmates took the class with this final project I'm working on right now, and she was in a group of three or four. That's a pretty solid amount of manpower and brainpower for a twenty page paper (plus 10+ pages in supplementary material). I'M LITERALLY DOING THIS ALONE. Same assignment. All by my lonesome. Will I get there? Ya I think so. But STILL.

[days later]

DONE.

Is it the best thing I ever wrote? God no. And that's a shame because it could have been really good had I not taken off two days last week. But it's done.

I hate writing introductions with all my heart. Everything else is fine, but orienting my audience to a topic? I'd rather skip that bit, honestly. So yeah. My intro kinda sucks. I think it picks up when we start talking about the basis of the work at hand, but it's otherwise pretty boring. Citations very spotty, with an overreliance on one source (even though i skimmed a ton of papers n even took notes too).

ngl kinda sucks bc it's going to my advisor and I know I could've done better ("but why didn't you" BECAUSE I WANNA GO HOME. OKAY? IM TIRED OF THIS PLACE. IM TIRED IN GENERAL. god i cant wait to get home)

not even going to mention how much little sleep I've gotten over the past 48 hours ugh.

can't even be thankful that it's over bc imma be anxious all the way up until i get that grade so.

im so bad at projects. bad at spacing things out. good at the planning. bad at the doing. decent at the crunch time. (the same sad song i weep every semester tbh.. "something's gotta change" yea yea yea)

well i dont want to go out all negative--im pretty proud of the future directions section. they came pretty naturally to me actually, and i think it's a bit of a testament to some of the growth ive had ~as a scientist~ this semester. thinking experimentally is still not easy, but i think i'm grasping some things related to my discipline which is good. thankful for that ig. also pretty happy with the discussion, I think my conclusions were pretty solid and interesting.

if-i-coulda-woulda-shoulda :/

[edit, next morning afternoon: so uh, i was anxious about the paper wile writing it and took an exedrin because of the anxious headache i got over it and the caffeine in the pill amplified my anxiety and that did not feel good at all]

[queenclaudiabrown]

Forgotten Flowers

Fandom: Torchwood Pairing: Toshiko 'Tosh' Sato X Owen Harper Content warnings: Content warnings: spoilers for ‘Adam’ canonical memory loss, I think that’s it Word count: 953

     Toshiko Sato woke up with a crick in her neck.

     She was slumped over the briefing room’s table, and when she looked around, she found Ianto, Gwen, and Owen all at the table as well.  Jack was nowhere to be found, and that wasn’t actually that surprising.  Owen was just waking up as well, blinking and frowning adorably, like a kitten just woken.  “What the bloody h3ll’s going on?”  He muttered, as confused as she was.

     “I don’t know.”  Tosh admitted, moving her arms back and to the sides to stretch.  “Last thing I remember is going to bed.”

     “I think I fell asleep watching the telly.”  Owen said.  Noticing something on the table next to him, he frowned.  “Why are my old reading glasses here?”

     “And where are mine?”  Tosh queried, patting herself down in search of her wayward spectacles.

     Ianto made a sound, sitting upright.  He looked around in as much confusion as they were in, then stood up and poked his head out the doorway.  “Jack?”  He called.  “Jack?”  Turning away from the door again and going to Gwen’s side, he asked, “Have either of you seen Jack?”

     Tosh shook her head.  “No, we’ve only been awake a minute.  He could be in his office.”

     Nodding, Ianto gently shook Gwen’s shoulder.  Tosh stood and walked out of the room, stretching either arm across her chest.  She headed for her computer, pulling up system files and the CCTV logs.  Gwen and Owen emerged and also opened up the computers, the three of them conferring on which avenues to pursue for answers each.    

     “Has anyone seen my diary?”  Ianto asked.  Receiving a collective negative, he disappeared again in search of his book.

     Several minutes passed as the three of them fruitlessly scoured their resources for any clue as to what had transpired between their last memories and waking up.  “Jack, how have we lost two days?”  Gwen queried as their wayward leader appeared.

     “What do you mean?”  He asked.

     “Last 48 hours- none of us can remember a thing.”  Ianto clarified, re-entering the Hub. 

     “The system’s blank, the CCTV’s been wiped.”  Tosh chimed in.  “What’s going on?  What’ve we been doing?”

     Their leader was silent for a moment, confusion and suspicion warring on his face.  “I don’t know.”  He admitted at last.

     “Great, that’s two days of my life that I’ll never get back.”  Owen remarked dryly.

     “Looks like Toshiko got herself a secret admirer, though.”  Jack commented, gesturing to the large vase of flowers that she admittedly hadn’t really noticed on her desk with his mug.

     “Oh, yeah?”  Owen seemed to notice as well as Tosh took the card from where it sat among the blooms.

     “‘To Tosh, Love and apologies-’” her breath caught as she read the name of the sender, but she pushed past it to finish the card with no noticeable hesitation.  “‘-Owen.’”  She couldn’t help her smile as she looked up at him.  “They’re from you.”

     With an amused expression on his face, he opened his mouth to speak, but shut it before actually saying anything.  He came over, pulling his jacket on, and plucked the card from her hands, scanning over it himself.  “Well, I’d say that I don’t do flowers or apologies, but… well, that is my handwriting.”  With a shrug, he offered the card back to her, and she returned it to its place as he gave her a rather rueful half-smirk.  “Must’ve done something awful.  My bad.”

     “It’s not like I remember, so… forgiven.”  She replied, her smile widening.  She prayed she hadn’t come across as too lenient.

     “You’re not gonna make him beg a little?  Grovel a bit?”  Gwen jokingly critiqued.

     Tosh shrugged.  “Like I said, I don’t remember.  It couldn’t have been that bad, and he did apologize.”  (She ignored the rest of the team exchanging looks.)

     “Well, that’s a relief.”  Owen said, but whether it was sarcastic or genuine, she couldn’t tell.  “You got anything left to do before you go home?”

     Rather startled at his unusual (for him) question, it took Tosh a moment to formulate a response.  “Not much, no.  I was going to close up the windows on the computer and then get a bite to eat on the way to my flat.”  She replied.

     After all, she had no idea when and what she ate last.

     “Now there’s an idea.  I could go with you, if you like.”  He offered, surprising her even more.  “I’m leaving now anyway, and I’m starving.”

     Tosh weighed her options for a brief moment, but it took very little to convince her to agree.  Smiling, she nodded.  “I’d like that.  Thank you.”

     He gave her one of his odd little half-smirks.  “There’s a nice sandwich shop not far from here.  I remember seeing smoked salmon on their menu.  That’s your favorite, isn’t it?”

     She tilted her head, confused yet pleasantly surprised that he knew her favorite kind.  “How’d you know that?”

     He shrugged.  “Must’ve heard you mention it at some point.”

     Tosh wondered if maybe he soaked up the little things she said like she did his.  God, she hoped so, even if she was sure it was a foolish hope.  She said nothing, unsure of what to say, and quickly closed out of the windows on her computer.  When she finished, she collected her jacket and bag, and followed Owen outside.

     Their colleagues watched them go.  “He’d better not break her heart.”  Gwen was the first to break the pensive, observant silence.

     “If he does, I’ll feed him to Janet.”  Jack agreed.

      Ianto merely smiled and went in search of his journal again, intending to add this possible new development to the book if he could just bloody find it.

[empty-pizza]

thoughts on harrow the ninth chapter four, part one

how the fuck

did i even BEGIN to have thoughts on all this shit

before reading this chapter

I haven't even finished it yet, I just finished reading the letter and I need to collect my thoughts and lack thereof. This is Some Shit. this is where this book really begins. this is fucking baller.

i don't know long this post will run; i might end up reiterating everything in the letter as I try to keep track of everything that Harrow and I know now.

okay, so i was right (as though i could have not been) that fuckery has been about. That fuckery occurred in the 48 hours following the end of book 1. The really insidious thing about this fuckery is that the situation that we EXPECTED Harrow to be in at the end of book 1, and the situation that she is, on paper (but not according to this letter), are the exact same. Harrow became a lyctor, Harrow now has to do Emperor G-Money's bizness.

all of this is really happening for the sake of getting Harrow out of a situation she was in, but neither of us get to know what that situation is, and it got her OUT of it by putting her INTO the situation she thought she'd be in — except, of course, all these rules. suffice to say, this is baller.

one of the most interesting details i'm seeing here is that resurrecting the Harrow that wrote all this is a fail state. first of all, how literal is it that she could be resurrected? is this a memory thing? a soul thing? no idea. and whichever one of those it is wouldn't answer why it would be a failure to let that happen.

another interesting detail is that it implies that the goal here is to resurrect the girl in the tomb. that's, uh, kinda a big deal. and it's stated so plainly that it leaves nothing for me to theorize. other than the fact that 48-hours harrow learned a LOT.

like, literally, let's just run through what must have happened. harrow later in the letter implies she decided on the answer no. who was the question from? god? i thought she was agreeing to work with g man. but what if it was someone else? she had to have learned so much and i don't even know what the sources of knowledge are. and then, after that, would have had to planned all of this. god, i love this level of planning. twenty four fuckin' letters. absolutely cracked. she would get along so well with beatrice.

okay now onto the rules. this post is going to be so long and i haven't even finished the chapter.

rule one isn't too complex. this is all obviously very important so harrow's gotta be there to do it all.

rule two is very interesting and something where i completely lack the information to make a confident guess. it could be that going back to House #9 would affect her powers. or it could alert the wrong thing. or it could lure something there. or all sorts of things.

rule three is very interesting. there are definitely a lot of possibilities, but i'm gonna throw one out here: it has gideon's soul in it. that's why harrow lacks her complete powers. and it's obviously a very gideon-associated object. very interested in the details of why it can't be used, though, and all the stuff harrow has to do with it.

rule four is interesting because i don't know exactly what it means. the details seem to mostly be on harrow's skills being lacking, which we already knew — she lacks the powers of full lyctors. but i dunno, the phrase "YOU ARE COMPROMISED" feels like it implies "don't trust anyone not even yourself" things.

rule five oh wait these are guidelines not rules well i'm not going back and changing the prior paragraphs: this is an interesting one. everything i said about what must have happened in the 48 hours? ianthe had a big part in it, but i lack the information to say what. it's such an interesting blob of what-ifs because ianthe currently knows more than harrow, but past harrow knows a lot more than ianthe. this means with every piece of info we get, we may have to question whether or not ianthe knows it. this supersedes loyalty to godzo. does ianthe know that? and despite all of this we can't actually trust her.

rule six is basically the author telling us that we're in for a bumpy ride, baby. you don't set up a plot like this without having an extremely good plan. i have high expectations. interesting that ianthe is going to keep one of the letters. i wonder how well harrow will actually follow these rules. i don't think everything will go according to plan.

the choice that was made is interesting. i wonder if it was, whether or not she accepts the loss of gideon.

rule seven makes sense. this sort of magic would imply that someone else, through magic mechanics i don't have the details on, could have taken control of what ianthe says. i feel like a lot of other things you could take control of would also be a problem, though. who knows, it could be subverting my expectation. maybe it's a change ianthe herself could have made, and one that would represent a choice that goes against harrow's goals.

i'll post this now before reading the rest. also like. are they gonna kiss?

[doctorstrangeaskblog]

to mun: don't hate me for this. i know nothing about the board exams aside from shitty television. but i couldn't pass up the opportunity because this gave me a lil somethin' somethin' for the creative energy so i hope you enjoy it! excuse the poor proofreading pls :')

Speechless | Stephen Strange

Stephen was quiet. Unusually quiet. Especially considering the words that just left your mouth.

"Stephen, did you hear me?"

"What?" he muttered without looking up from a text on obscure curses. "Yeah. Of course, I did."

His eyes continued to scan the page. So you waited. You waited and waited and waited. And after three pages flipped—he seemed be reading even slower than usual, slower than was ever necessary for him—you snapped your fingers in his face.

"And?" you pressed.

"And what? Is there more?"

"More? More aside from the fact that I'm going to try the board exams? Aren't you going to tell me, well, everything? I know you have an opinion on the matter."

"Nope." He beamed at you, slamming the book closed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get rid of the pilates machine in the basement or Wong is going to, you know, make me use it."

He left without another word. Without another word. Without another world. Without another word. It's not that you weren't used to Stephen having the last word of the conversation. But this? The last word with so few in between? Well, it was all you could think about when you received your results.

8th in the first phase.

At this point, you just had to show up to the interview. You could share even fewer words than Stephen did with you and you'd pass. You would pass.

It was the last thing you expected. Well, second to last. Because two seconds after seeing your results, you spun around to the familiar sizzle of orange sparks manifesting next to you. Stephen stepped though, signature smirk amply stamped on his face.

Your eyes flitted from your results to that smirk. That smirk. That damn smirk. And you shook your head as a smile crept upon your lips.

"Oh, you bastard."

"You rang?" he snickered.

"You knew. You knew this is what was going to happen, didn't you?"

"I couldn't say anything." He pressed his lips together. "Consider it a testament to my appreciation for you because God knows I wanted to say plenty."

"And now?"

"Well, now I can tell you everything. Including the sordid details about the food poisoning I got before my interview. Which I do not recommend, by the way. The food poisoning part, not the interview. Definitely do the interview."

You opened your mouth to speak. But Stephen held up a finger and clicked his tongue.

"Hey, I had to shut up for an entire 48 hours. It's my turn to talk." He breathed deeply, dramatically, and longingly. "It all started one cold November night—"

"Stephen!"

"Shows how well you're going to do in this interview, Sylpha. They don't like it when you interrupt, you know? Anyway, I was going to say," he sucked in a breath, "it all started on a cold November night..."

But the corner of Stephen's lip quirked in a grin.

"And I had never been more proud of you."

You cracked a smile, accepting the hug that he offered mid-sentence.

"Well," he muttered, "aside from the day you figured out Wong's birthday. I'm still bitter you put it together before me."

"Thanks, Stephen."

"Anytime. Just, for the love of God, do not eat anything even remotely suspicious beforehand. That's advice from my past self, not the future."

Stephen withdrew, straightening his posture and clearing his throat. He raised a brow and cocked his head to the side.

"Now, for the real reason I'm here. Will you come back and help me get rid of this fucking pilates machine?"

"Of course. I'll always help you."

"Same. All you have to do is ask."

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[searchforthescars]

If this is out of line, please feel free to delete this ask :) I follow your Twitter and I read your Cam/Pal ☕️ post here, but now that Nona's been out for a whopping 48 hours, I was wondering how you're feeling about the fandom and the story about Cam and Pal and Paul [screams]

(First of all, I'm very sorry for this delayed reply - it started off as "Well, I want to make sure my self-imposed spoiler period is over" and then continued into "well I don't want to Step In It, fandom-wise." But I have thoughts and you asked, and I appreciate that :3).

The following content was written in mid-September and has been edited slightly for length and clarity. It's still long. Sorry lmao.

Nona the Ninth was, to (probably) the shock of no one who knows me, a gift to me specifically. I joke that this book was written for me because it has so many things I love: apocalyptic settings, examinations of all the hazards and casualties of love, and some EXPLANATIONS OF WHAT THE HELL JOHN DID.

There was also Cam/Pal. So much Cam/Pal. "I hope you know that I adore you, Scholar." SHUT THE FUCK UP?????? HELLO??????????? "LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND LOVE IS TOO LONG" OKAY GOODBYE

Now, I should also say that I've had a Nona ARC since the summer, so I've been sitting on this for a hot minute. My experience reading the book was equal parts "WOW I AM WINNING" and "wow the fandom is going to go nuclear." And while I haven't seen as much hate as I was expecting, I suspect some of that is because I got over my fear of blocking people and have blocked often and liberally if the situation calls for it.

To be clear, I never have an issue with people shipping things that I don't ship. I never have a problem with people actively disliking my ships. What I do have a problem with is people coming into my DMs, notes, askbox, etc., and calling me names, attacking me, and generally being vile in mine own house when they could just as easily scroll away.

That's what happened around Cam/Pal between HtN and NtN. I'm not going to dredge up the details for the sanity of myself and my friends, but it was real and it was bad. Real people were deeply hurt. I've been in fandom - including some really nuclear ones - for more than half my life, and it has never been this bad.

At this point, my stance is this: Nona the Ninth made a near-ironclad case for Cam/Pal being canonically romantically entwined. Nona the Ninth also established that the two of them have been in love for a long time. The scene where they became Paul is, in my opinion, akin to a marriage proposal - especially when you weave in the fact that the "three strands" verse Dulcie quotes about them in Harrow the Ninth is often quoted in weddings and also talks about two people being better than one, etc etc.

My stance is also: if you read them as platonic but vibe just fine with people who don't read it that way, and you filter your internet experience through tagging, blocking, and scrolling past what you don't vibe with - more power to you. You're doing great, and I have no quarrel with you at all.

If you, however, choose to make sweeping faux-pearl-clutching statements about the creeps who ship cousins, you can get the fuck out of my house. Block me, unfollow me, whatever, but this is not the place for you.

Because also, nine times of ten, it's not about the fact that they're SECOND cousins (which is vastly different from cousins). It's about people disliking that a female character is with a male character. The Venn diagram of people I've seen being loudly angry and faux-pearl-clutching about Cam/Pal as a romantic ship and the people who insist Camilla is something that isn't bi and say that anyone headcannoning her as bi is something-phobic is almost a circle.

Again. You don't have to think Cam is bi or ship Cam/Pal. But there is no reason you need to rain on the parade of those who do.

But, because so many people do, I chose to open my umbrella and shout over the noise with my properly-tagged fic and all my online shenanigans. Because that's what fandom is about, for me. And I - like I ask others to do - mitigate my own online experience.

I'm always going to be a little angry and bitter over what happened with the Cam/Pal discourse. I'm always going to grit my teeth when I recall the person who told me they felt sorry for my sister because I "shipped incest." (Ironically, this person ships the Tridentarii.) I'm always going to be twitchy about being a Cam/Pal gremlin on main (despite that fact that I am apparently now something of a Sixth House Expert on TikTok??? weird).

But overall, Nona's release day was one of the most entertaining, unhinged 24 hours I've ever had in fandom. It reminded me of why I love fandom so deeply and fiercely; it's supposed to be about community and celebration, both of the source material and about all the diversity that accompanies a myriad of reads of that same material. I truly hope (edit: as of the time this was posted, the following statement is true) that this is a sign of what is to come for the corners of the TLT fandom I'm in; I hope that we will continue to celebrate what Tamsyn gifted us while also going unhinged over the possibilities left for us in AtN.

[crayonurchin]

🦋☁️🍸🌷🍬🐥

🦋 tell us about your current wip:

I'm currently 4 chapters into my third book in my currant series. It's called The Night of The Night Knight, and follows the progression of the characters from the last two books. This book has themes of the price of gentrification, questioning if blood is thicker than water, the reliance of young female friendships and a whooooole lot of potato puns.

☁️ wip you want to write but haven't started yet:

I want to finish this middle grade series first but afterwards, I'd like to try and write an older read for a story I've had for a while called A Weekend Of Grief, a present day sci fi about a clinic that can condense the grieving period into a single weekend, letting you past track a very painful process by experiencing all that pain in one horrid 48 hour period. The book follows a 17 year old protagonist stricken with grief after her last conversation with her grandmother is an argument, only to learn she died in the night. She's so distraught she's unable to sit a crucial exam for university entry, so her parents pay to send her to the clinic, where we see many others also struggling with unique problems, desperate to be over their pain.

🍸 character who inspired your mc

The two main characters in my current WIP are Penny the goblin and Gutters Nipe the human.

Penny is inspired by an old d&d character I played called Wakley, a goblin cleric that was a surgeon before she was a cleric. Penny is a herbalist with a deep rooted special interest in making natural medicines. She's also massively inspired by Gracie Gillypot from the Robe Of Skulls series, for her kind and empathetic nature, with an ability to gently yet firmly stand up for her own beliefs.

Gutters is inspired by a character from my webcomic Urchin Quest, Scallywag. Impulsive, quick to anger, energetic and deeply emotional. She's also inspired by Kelsey from Craig Of The Creek for the creative and playful nature, with a strong moral compass, anxiety struggles and occasional weakness of forward thinking

They're also, like, pure Autism meets Pure ADHD, and their dynamic makes me smile

🌷 writing achievement you want to brag about

I wrote two books. Like. I wrote two full books. I illustrated them, I got prints made, I sold them at conventions and I sell them online. I'm trying to find an agent I can work with to become published. I want to do this as a sustainable work thing. Just today I wrote two draft chapters for the third book, and I'm happy with them even though focussing for that long is really tricky for me.

Like, if I told little baby me that I'd even write ONE book as an adult, I'd have been so so happy about it. So yeah. I wrote two books and I'm writing a third, that's my achievement and I'm super pleased about it.

🍬 a song for your favourite character

... So Penny and Gutters are loved genuinely equally because they're one such separate yet joint paths, so instead, here's a song that's a little spoiler for book three regarding them both :3

🐥 here's some writing motivation!

Thank you, little chicken emoji! I'm excited to write more later this week! I'm trying to write every Tuesday and Thursday so I can have book three ready for October MCM ComicCon!

I've had return customers at comic con for my books... it's insane that even one person likes my writing.

[whereareroo]

LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE

WF UPDATE (6/13/24).

We just returned from a road trip. Did you miss me? The road trip included three “Special Assignments.”

During one of the Special Asssignments, I ended up at an indoor trampoline park in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Predictably, I didn’t stay for long. For a few minutes, I stood in a corner to make sure that Mrs. Grandmother and Grandkid #3 were comfortable with the place. Then, confident that my team could handle their two hour session, I went next door to the coffee shop to drink tea and read stuff online.

While I was standing in the corner, I was approached by a very thin man in his late 70s. He said: “You look like you’re having a terrible time.” I nodded. He went on, pointing to a 4 year old boy who was playing alone on a small trampoline: “I’m here to watch that little jerk. He’s my great grandson. I have 8 children, 11 grandchildren, and 5 great grandchildren. My wife is a total waste of humanity. For more than 30 years, she hasn’t helped with anything. She doesn’t cook. She doesn’t clean the house. She hasn’t changed a diaper. She doesn’t help with any of the kids. It makes me so angry. I’m waiting for the witch to die. (He used a word that rhymes with witch.) I have life insurance on her. I’m waiting for my payday. I’m tired of being abused.” I decided that it was time to drink tea. That guy has such a sad life. He’s actually hoping that his wife dies soon. On the road, I hear an endless stream of sad stories.

Unlike the grumpy old man, during the road trip we hit two very happy milestones:

1. On June 4th, we celebrated our 41st wedding anniversary. It was a shotgun wedding. We had only been dating for 7 years. That means that we’ve been together for 48 years. The longevity of our marriage proves that there is a God, and that He has a sense of humor. For many reasons, Mrs. Wonderful is the perfect life partner for me. She thinks she got a good deal too. When we count our blessings, we take turns saying: “Where would I be without you?” Of course, we both also frequently say: “Where would you be without me?” Although life is a roller coaster, we are very thankful that our life has been filled with laughter and joy.

2. June 9th was the 15th anniversary of my departure from the practice of law. I had always promised myself that I’d be done on my 50th birthday. I beat the mark by 2 months. I was a good lawyer, and I enjoyed my work. My unique practice was full of interesting people, interesting stories, and various legal/financial challenges. I can honestly say that I helped many people navigate difficult times. I started this blog soon after my departure from the workforce. The blog will celebrate its 15th birthday at the start of September. In addition to my thoughts on a wide variety of topics, the blog recounts all of the fun that we’ve had during the past 15 years. We’re so lucky that we were able to dive into the world when we were relatively young. As I type this, I’m sitting near a collection of momentos from some of our adventures. I see stuff from 4 long distance hikes and 9 long biking adventures. That’s only a small part of the story. If we were only leaving the workforce now, we probably wouldn’t attack some of those adventures. Please remember that life is short. Regardless of your circumstances, there are many ways to put adventure into your life. Promise yourself that you will make room for adventure in your life. Take the necessary time and make the necessary plans. Has anyone ever said that they had too much adventure in their life? No!

From my seat at the kitchen table, I can also see my pile of books for 2024. The first half of the year has been so busy. I’m WAY behind on my reading. Today is a “recovery day” and I have some free time. I’m going to grab a book. Talk to you tomorrow.