#but I need to vomit my words into the void thanks

[justablah56]

do you guys ever like . think about Glenn close .

do you ever think about how all he ever wanted was for everything to stay the same . that it would all be okay and chill and nothing *really* bad would happen to him .

do you ever think about how his son was more important to him than that .

do you ever think about how much Glenn really truly cares about Nicky .

like . ok listen . he literally . he was literally trying so hard . the sacrifices he forced himself to make so that Nick could live a life he would enjoy . he assumed that his son knew how much he loved him and that was where he failed . glenns real motive is that he's willing to loose Nick if it means that Nick gets to be happy , regardless of his own feelings on the matter . before the realms it's going out on tour for long gigs , he's willing to leave because it'll bring money in and Nick will have a comfortable home . he assumes that Nick knows it's hard on him , but Nick just saw his dad leaving . because Glenn will give and give and give anything that he can for the people he cares about , but use all the effort in the world to try and appear as though he's not . that what he's doing to help isn't actually that big of a deal . and that's what tore him and Nick apart . is Glenn giving all the time he could to keep him and Nick afloat and trying to hide how hard it was for him . and Nick only seeing his dad leave him every chance he got .

anyways I'm going rabid . Glenn close .

[sugarpasteltmnt]

IN HIS DEFENCE YOUR HONOR, HE IS JUST A SILLY BOY

I'll just drop a little art here, keep doing what you're doing, you're doing amazing! You write so well and I can only imagine the effort it takes to pull out these chapters, so please take care of yourself too!! I've already absolutely word-vomited how much I love your work and hyukin I'll do it again-

The way that all of the brothers react to Leo is just so believable and heart-wrenching and oh my goodness poor Raph give the poor boy a break- The recovery arc that hopefully will come is gonna be a long journey (Probably more Dr. Delicate touch than Dr. Feelings slapping some of that self-sacrifice out of Leo-). Also, the sibling sense needed to make both of the climatic scenes in your fics during the Thanksgiving parade is just great, I swear it's like that sometimes though.

At the start of chapter 22 he isn't Void he's Leo. He is coping with these events as Leo. Only when he realizes that it's all real does he slip back into the Void mask. We as readers can see the literal struggle between Leo and Void through his ninpo, as it seems like (correct me if I'm wrong, or don't lol) it burns the krang infection, it seems like the only thing that can actually hurt the infection. Leo is extremely damage-resistant to the point that even nonconsensual amputation isn't really an issue to him but ninpo seems like the only thing that can genuinely hurt him. Even if I'm completely off with this whole rant, it's so cool to see how the story unfolds, trying to figure out the limits of your universe is an amazing experience.

Every time you update I feel so glad that I can see the story unfold in real time. I can't wait for the next update, but don't feel like you need to push yourself for this fic, you're doing great, especially with the quality of what you write! Maybe it's a little repetitive at this point, but really I find it absolutely unbelievable what you are able to do and I admire your ability to write such convincing narratives.

Anyways, please take the silly boi :D

THANK YOU YOU'RE SO SWEET!!!! it makes me so so so happy to hear that you're enjoying both perspectives, because it's very fun to write and i love to explore what everyone might be feeling ;w; and i'm having a LOT of fun exploring Ninpo. I'm a little sad we didn't get more of since the show ended right after the Shredder fight, but I like to think that there's nothing like it-- something unique just for them 🩵

AND THANK U FOR THE FANART AHHH 🩵😭💞💘💗‼️

[jellys-compendium]

Comforting Monster Stories for the Weary Heart

Part 3 - The Selkie

Rating: T

Pairing: Selkie x/& GN!Reader Summary: Your distrust of others has lead you to a life on the ocean. Your only company, a lone seal with eyes of startling seaweed green. One fateful night a terrible storm captures and destroys your boat, flinging you into the raging sea. When you come to, you discover that your companion is more than what she seems. Cw: nudity, mentions of past abusive relationships, mentions of being held captive and relationship trauma, brief mention of vomiting Word Count: 2.5K A/n: This is my absolute favorite chapter I've written so far! I love these two so much. Oh, and for those of you who don't know what a selkie is, check the link.

Thank you for supporting my original work! If you're interested in this series, you can read all the chapters here.

The ocean at night is a dark and terrifying space where humans dare not adventure. And that is precisely why it is the only place on earth where you feel safe.

Being out in the black and impenetrable void each and every night, with nothing but the sound of rippling waves along your little boat’s hull and the stars as your guide, you find yourself finally able to relax.

Out here it’s just you, the ocean and all of her creatures. It’s a place where there is no prejudice, or hatred, or cruelty. Out here there is only the struggle for life and the inevitability of death. It may seem cold, but it is fair.

Glancing up at the sky, your eyes find Polaris a little too far to the right. Adjusting your grip on the oars, you carefully turn your port oar, shifting your direction to starboard and keep rowing silently through the waves.

The light from the lantern perched on the boat’s bow shimmers orange and yellow across the black water. If you look hard enough, you can see tiny little fish chase the light just below the surface. You carefully watch them, knowing that once they disappear it’s a sign that you’ve reached your destination.

And sure enough once you’ve rowed to near exhaustion and the full moon sits fat and yellow on the horizon, do the fish suddenly vanish. Following their cue, you pull both of your oars back and bring your boat to a standstill. 

After pulling your oars into the boat, you gather the things you need.

Jars, a fishing net, and a cloth.

Then, you carefully make your way towards your lantern and turn it off. The world around you is plunged into blue night, the light of the moon now the only source of illumination around you.

Humming a soft little tune, you sit and patiently wait until you find them.

It starts faintly at first, but as the seconds tick by the light intensifies, until finally the water all around you begins to glow a beautiful, unearthly blue. 

Tilting over the side of your boat, you watch them with limitless wonder. Moonlight jellyfish, thousands of them, all slowly making their way towards the open ocean. 

No one knows why they like to travel out to the deepest parts of the ocean at night. Some fishermen say that it’s mermaids, or the goddess of the sea, or even the full moon that calls them, but you’re not one for entertaining folktales.

You believe what you see, and your faith only extends as far as your hand. That’s how you’ve managed to survive this long.

Grabbing your net, you examine the jellyfish bobbing in the water. Once your eyes pick out one of the largest and strongest you make quick work of carefully dipping your net into the water and scooping him up. 

The creature wiggles in your net’s grasp, expressionless in all ways but motion. But you imagine that if jellyfish could talk, this one would be very annoyed with you right now.

“I know, big guy. This will just take a second.”

Bringing him gently into your boat, you pop open a jar and fetch the cloth. Grasping the cloth in one hand and the net in the other, you bring the jellyfish’s tendrils over the open jar and then delicately brush the cloth against the tendrils.

Droplets of seawater and clear venom are soaked up into the cloth, some of it falls into the glass jar below. It certainly isn’t the most effective way to harvest jellyfish venom but it is the least invasive. Even though your income relies on the jellies, you don’t want to harm them.

Once you’re done, you slowly return the moonlight jelly into the ocean, and repeat the process a few more times with a few of the other large ones. 

As you're returning the last of them to the calm and glassy water, a distinct splash sounds from behind you, and a playful thump vibrates along the hull of your little boat.

You shake your head, but the smile that spreads across your lips is difficult to suppress. 

“I know it’s you.”

Silence. Your voice is the only sound that echoes through the night. You look around, searching between the glowing blue of the moonlight jellies for that familiar shadow beneath the waves. 

“Trying to scare me, huh?” You murmur, shifting to the front of your boat and turning your lantern back on. “Gonna have to try a bit harder than th—”

A massive gush of expertly aimed cold sea water emerges from the side of the boat, eliciting a shriek from your lungs as it lands in your boat, completely drenching you from head to toe.

“HEY!”

A strange yet familiar giggling chuff sounds from the side of your boat. Chasing the source, you lean over the side and come face to face with the gorgeous, grinning seal you’d rescued from a fishing net many years ago. 

“Are you proud of yourself? Look at me, I’m soaked!”

The seal’s smile widens and she blows a playful breath out of her nose. Despite lacking human speech, Lorelei has a talent for getting her thoughts across with nothing but movements, gestures and vocalizations.

“Think I look better wet, huh?”

Lorelei chirps, clapping her fin against the surface of the water before disappearing back into the dark depths. Taking the opportunity, you reach for the pail you have stashed at the front of your boat and pull out one of the mackerel you’d caught earlier in the day.

Immediately, Lorelei bobs back up to the surface, her seaweed green eyes glistening with delight in the lantern’s light.

For a moment, you study her, taking in the slight cooper red tint to her coat and that almost human grin of hers. There’s something uncanny about her. She’s too unusual and too clever to be your typical seal.

“Got a midnight snack for you. Just promise not to splash me again, okay?”

Tossing the fish to Lorelei, she manages to snatch it out of the air with her sharp teeth. She chomps down happily on it a few times before swallowing the thing whole. She flips backwards, her tail clapping against the water with glee before she dives and reappears beside you, those green eyes set on you.

It’s strange. You can’t see your reflection in them at all…

As you stare at her, the urge to reach out and touch her manifests, like a fierce tug at your heart. 

Lorelei, mischievous as she may be, has been your friend for a very long time. She’s important to you. She’s the one who stays with you through the night and the only one that listens to your stories while gliding alongside you as you journey across the sea. She’s never wronged you or hurt you and you’ve always watched her back.

The friendship you share with her is powerful, but as you reach out to pat her head the calmness in Lorelei’s eyes disappears and she growls, whiskers puffing up before she snaps at your fingers. 

Instantly, you pull your fingers back, a little emotionally hurt but understanding. While you may feel that Lorelei is your friend, that doesn’t mean that she necessarily feels the same way. To her, you may be nothing more than a weird scaleless and finless fish that she finds entertaining to follow around from time to time.

“Sorry.”

Lorelei’s snarl slowly melts away, those big eyes of hers swallowing you whole as she quietly studies you. You can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking, but before you can even begin to ponder, an ominous roar vibrates through the night sky. 

Looking up, you see nothing but black. The moon and stars have been obscured by an enormous storm cloud. Purple lightning flashes in the sky a few seconds before another roar of thunder claps powerfully through the air.

Then the wind picks up, you can feel it whistling in your ears and across the rustling waves with ominous promise.

Oh no.

Scrambling, you grab the oars and shove them back into the rowlocks.

“Go!” You shout to Lorelei as you begin rowing to shore. “Get somewhere safe, this is going to get messy!”

Lorelei stays still, watching you curiously as you depart. You wish you could help her, but frankly compared to you she is in no danger at all, and that little bit of reassurance soothes the sharp panic in your heart.

If you have to die, you want it to be out here. Free and untethered by the pain of dry land. 

Just like her.

With every ounce of strength you possess, you row hard against the rough waters. Your rowboat sways and jumps as the waves get larger and stronger, the wind and rain simultaneously blinding you and freezing your skin. 

Panting, you desperately fight against the wailing typhoon, but the sea is not one to be bartered with. With one more final powerful gust, your boat capsizes and you’re sent tumbling into the icy, black ocean.

The moment that water hits your skin, a surge of adrenaline courses through you. And despite your better judgment, you try and fight your way back to the surface. But the current is too strong, and the more you struggle, the deeper the sea pulls you into its greedy clutches.

Eventually your body succumbs to utter bone deep exhaustion and your body becomes still, head spinning as stars start to flash before your eyes.

Then, you close your eyes and let the current take you.

(xxx)

You jolt awake, lungs on fire as you heave against the scraping salt in your throat and the churching pain in your stomach.

Rolling pitifully onto your side, you wretch, expelling the mouthfuls of seawater that you’d inevitably swallowed when you were flung from your rowboat.

The trembling ache in your body is all consuming, overcoming every sense you possess. It’s not until you finish vomiting that you realize that a warm hand is soothingly stroking your back.

Your naked back.

Gasping with alarm, you whirl your body around, arms instinctively up to try and protect yourself from the stranger beside you.

It’s a woman. A beautiful woman with curly, fiery red hair. Her mouth opens with an “oh” of surprise when you abruptly turn, her deep green eyes widening as she takes a step back from you.

The two of you stare at one another, motionless and wordless. Who is she? You’ve never met this woman before. 

You study her in the light. She stands tall, at least 173 meters. Her skin is a pale, snowy white and her gorgeous hair falls majestically down from the crown of her head all the way to her thighs. The hair covers her naked form in a waterfall of glowing red, thick and beautiful with the occasional lock tangled around ribbons of seaweed.

Your eyes travel up, lingering across an alarming scar that sits just under her ribcage. Continuing upwards, you see that freckles decorate her shoulders and cheeks, and her face is round and youthful. And her eyes…you can’t see your reflection in them at all.

Your jaw drops as realization dawns.

“L–Lorelei?”

The woman smiles shyly, then nods. She points to her left, and you follow, your gaze landing on a small little fire flickering close to the mouth of a cave. The wind howls outside, but here you are safe and surprisingly warm.

“Eat,” A beautiful voice rings. It takes you a moment to realize it’s Lorelei. 

“Recover your strength. You will need it in the morning.”

You blink, focusing your vision on the fire. A fish is cooking just above it, a delicious scent wafting through the cave as the flames lick at the dripping and browning skin.

And while normally that sight would have made your belly growl from hunger, right now the last thing you want to do is eat.

“Ah, thank you but…”

Lorelei exhales a tired sigh, but her eyes are understanding. After another beat of silence, both of your bodies taunt from the wavering distrust, the tension suddenly and inexplicably breaks, and Lorelei makes her approach.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier.” She says, sitting down beside you on the cave floor. “I’m just not used to being touched.”

The painful relatability of her admission floors you. The sadness of those words and the loneliness that you’ve harbored for so long suddenly comes to the forefront. It makes you want to cry.

Me too. Me too…

Instead your lips press into a thin line and you swallow the nervous lump in your throat.

“It’s okay.”

Lorelei shuffles closer and reaches towards your lap. You flinch, but then realize that she’s reaching for the blanket on your legs. Except…it isn’t a blanket.

“Is this…”

“My seal skin. It was the only thing I had to keep you warm.”

Lorelei’s voice is tight, careful. You can tell by her expression that she’s itching to snatch it back. You don’t want to cause her any discomfort, so you carefully pick up the pelt and hold it out for her to take.

“Thank you, Lorelei. You can have it back.”

But the woman just stares at you, eyes widening as they fixate on the pelt in your hands. After a moment her eyes soften, the corners shimmering with tears.

“It’s alright.” She whispers. “Keep it for now. I want you to stay warm.”

You’re not exactly sure what’s behind these reactions of hers, but your own trauma has taught you to recognize another broken soul in need.

Shifting a bit over, you pat the cave floor beside you.

“Then we’ll share it.”

And Lorelei sits, and you cover both of your bodies with the soft and warm seal skin.

The warmth that blooms between your two cradled bodies is the sweetest thing you’ve ever felt. It’s pure benevolence. It asks for nothing.

“I fell in love with a fisherman once.” Lorelei softly says. “He wanted to marry me, but he didn’t understand who I really was.” 

Her wistful eyes land on the roaring foam at the cave’s mouth, the sound of its hunger the only thing you can hear during her several minutes of silence. Patiently, you wait to see if she wants to continue.

Finally, she exhales a deep sigh and speaks.

“I am the sea.” She whispers. “I cannot be bound or contained, and it drove him mad.”

“He stole my skin and imprisoned me on land. What could I do but care for him and give him children? For years I watched with agony as he disappeared over the horizon on his boat. Free to roam the place that was once my home to his heart’s content.” 

“When I discovered the skin he had stolen from me hidden beneath the house’s floorboards, I fled to the ocean. He found me before I was able to escape in the waves. I remember the giant fishing hook in his right hand.”

Lorelei’s green eyes fall upon you, their dark green deepening in the light of the fire. You find yourself mesmerized by their depths, and enchanted at the being who possesses them. 

Lorelei is right. She truly is the sea. 

And you treasure all that she is.

Entwining your fingers with hers, you gently squeeze her hand as you lay your head on her shoulder. Lorelei’s body tenses at first, but then she relaxes beside you. Her beautiful melodic hum of contentment makes your heart melt.

“I’m glad you’re free, Lorelei. One day, I hope to be too.”

And then, you fall asleep beside her.

dividers by @/saradika

[faeleur]

the fourth and second to last (fr this time) part of the series is here! this is going to be a long one so buckle up. thank you everyone for the love and hopefully you enjoyed :) stay tuned for the official official final! not proofread because i just wanted to get this out asap so be warned

part i. part ii. part iii. masterlist

leviathan x idol!reader: part iv

your heart pounded as you finally reached levi’s room, guilt festering in the pit of your stomach.

you’re not quite sure what he wanted to tell you, or why he left so suddenly (but then again you completely fumbled your excuse), but you knew that something was up

as hypocritical as it was, it felt like he was hiding something from you, and you felt confused, saddened, and kind of pissed off at the thought

what reason could he have to ever hide something from you? (… ignoring the hypocrisy ofc, this was about him rn 🫶🏻)

you raised your fist to knock on his door, but hesitated.

that was all he needed.

“i know you’re there. i don’t wanna talk to anyone right now, so just turn around and go back to your boyfriend or whatever.”

inside, levi was still sitting in his chair, but his game was long forgotten as he was completely consumed by his sin.

envy coursed through and seeped out of every scale of his devil form, his pupils narrow slits, his breath hot and ragged, his fangs bared.

all he could think about was your betrayal. you were his. his alone. didn’t you know you had promised yourself to him the moment his insignia appeared on the nape of your neck? did your pact mean nothing? did all these months mean nothing?

levi’s seething voice snapped you out of your daze, and you bit your lip again, the confusion building. what did you do wrong? even if it wasn’t true, did the thought of you having a boyfriend set him off?

you knew he was more susceptible to certain thoughts and behaviors as the avatar of envy, but regardless, you wanted to get to the bottom of it.

“sorry, but i’m staying, whether you decide to open the door or not. we need to talk.”

you sighed, gently resting your head on his door, closing your eyes. “please,” your words barely above a whisper.

you wanted to talk? fine, he’d let you talk.

his door opened suddenly and you were yanked inside, the entrance slamming shut behind you.

levi’s claws dug into the soft skin of your arm, threatening to draw blood as you struggled in his grip. he towered over you, his snake-like eyes void of all emotion as he stared down at your form.

“then talk,” he hissed.

you cried out in surprise and pain. he was visibly upset, but you didn’t know why. what was happening?

“levi, i don’t know what i did, but i’m sorry—“

“you don’t know? you seriously don’t know? oh, it’s just so convenient to forget about my mark on your neck?”

your eyes narrowed in confusion. what was he talking about? “you mean the pact? of course i didn’t forget about it, but what does that have to do with anything? can you please just let me go and we can—“

“it means you belong to me, y/n,” he snarled as his grip tightened. “it means you betrayed me by going out with some other guy, some human—“

“levi, stop, you’re hurting me!”

“do i mean nothing to you? was this just a game? were you just stringing me along this whole time just so you could go and break my heart?” his claws clamped down.

you screamed as scarlet dripped from your arm onto the floor, and the sound of your pain drew levi’s attention to where his claws sank into your skin.

his world stopped as he pulled his hands away, the tips covered in your blood. the sound of you crying. the smell of your fear.

the envy, the rage, dissipated in seconds, now replaced with horror. what had he done?

he stammered as he shrank, reverting to normal. he was going to vomit.

his ears started ringing as you backed away from him, trembling.

what had he done?

he reached his hand towards you in a feeble attempt to do something, anything to remedy the situation, but when you flinched away, his heart broke even more.

he hurt you. he didn’t even mean to, he was just so jealous—

why was he jealous? because you betrayed him—

how could you have known if he never told you how he felt? you should’ve known better—

but you didn’t. it wasn’t your fault, it was his. it was all his.

levi felt like he was suffocating as the walls of his room closed in on him, and he sank to his floor, stuttering.

when he blinked, his room was cold and empty, your warmth long gone. you had left ages ago.

on the opposite end of the house, you frantically knocked on asmo’s door. “a-asmo?”

after a moment, the 5th brother opened his bedroom door, yawning as he lifted his eye mask. “how dare you interrupt my beauty sl—“

his jaw dropped when he saw you cradling your bloody arm, and within seconds, he was patching you up on his bed as quickly as he could.

he was about to ask who would dare to harm you in this way, but when he removed a shimmering purple scale from the inside of your wound, his heart dropped.

at the sight, your sobs started up again, and he pulled you close to embrace you, rocking you gently. “y/n, sweetheart, i’m so sorry— what happened?”

you relayed your story, his eyes widening after every detail. and when you were done, your wound clean and bandaged neatly, he looked away, biting his lip. he knew something you didn’t.

“asmo?” you asked upon noticing his guilty expression.

he sighed, brushing the hair out of his face. “well…”

“well?” you gave him a look, and he smiled sheepishly.

“i don’t want to interfere, since this is something levi should be telling you rather than me, but… when he saw you had a boyfriend, it caused his sin to spiral out of control. jealousy, y’know? he wasn’t in his right mind. i’m not trying to excuse his behavior, and he definitely needs to apologize, but i doubt he wanted to hurt you. once you’re in that headspace… it’s hard to think clearly. it’s like your sin controls you, and all you can do is watch.”

you bit your lip. that made sense, as demons were certainly more prone to emotional outbursts, but that didn’t explain the meaning behind his words.

“what about all the things he said? he was really possessive…”

“well, that’s because he… uh… he felt threatened. you’re his best friend, and maybe he thought that you were replacing him… especially since you’ve been distant this past month and because you’re leaving at the end of next week, he got scared you wouldn’t or didn’t care about him anymore. and with your pact? that kind of makes it worse, given how special it is and all.”

you nodded, feeling saddened. why on earth did you have to make that excuse? you’d have to clear it up eventually, but you weren’t sure if telling him it was a lie was a good idea right now…

while levi’s outburst had scared you, now that you knew the likely reasoning behind it, you wanted to go find and reassure him (again). you had your own apologizing to do, as well.

asmo noticed the signs and rested his hand on your arm before you could get up, looking at you sympathetically. “i know you want to go find him, but give him a little space to cool off. especially after he scratched you up… i can imagine that he feels really guilty. he might not be ready to face you yet.”

you nodded, pulling the demon into a gentle hug. “thanks, asmo. for everything, actually. you’ve been a huge help.”

he returned the gesture, patting your head. “of course. be sure to visit me again before you leave. you deserve to have a makeover befitting your temporary departure from the devildom,” he beamed.

you smiled in return, sliding off his bed, ready to leave. “thanks, asmo. good night!”

“nighty night~!” he called, and once you disappeared down the hall, his door slowly shutting with a gentle creak, he grabbed his nearest pillow and screamed into it.

“these two are killing me, i swear…” he whined. “levi, please grow some balls already, for the love of diavolo.”

you headed to your room, tuckered out for the evening. friday was fast approaching, and you needed to rest for your last day of classes before finals.

determined, you brushed your teeth, did your skincare routine, changed into your favorite pj’s, then hopped into bed, waiting for sleep to take you.

… except it never did. you were lying there for what felt like hours, but when you rolled over and looked at your phone, only about 30 minutes had passed.

then another. then another.

by now, a good couple hours had went by, and it was well past midnight. there was no reason for you to be awake. usually, you were out like a light the minute you were under the covers. why wasn’t it working now?

you knew the reason. but asmo said he needed space…

you looked at your phone again. 2 am. was that enough space?

yes, you decided. it was.

before you knew it, your feet were carrying you down the hall towards levi’s room.

soon you reached his door, and readied yourself to knock, but realized something peculiar — his door was ajar.

you cautiously stepped across the threshold, peering around the corner. “levi…?” you called softly, your voice echoing ever so slightly in the aquarium confines of his bedroom.

you heard some shuffling before levi’s head rose from within his bathtub, the tear stains glimmering on his face like little jewels. his eyes widened, as did his mouth, but when he saw your bandaged arm, he let out a soft exclamation of horror.

“y/n, i’m so sorry—“ the apology slipped out rapidly, the words jumbling together.

“i didn’t mean to, i swear, i didn’t… didn’t realize—“ he lowered his gaze, sinking back into his tub.

“i’m sorry. i lost control, i don’t even know why… it’s stupid, i’m stupid. i’m pathetic. you must hate me…” he whimpered, sniffling as the tears started up again and as he began to curl back into himself.

while he rambled, you slowly moved closer to where he rested, and it was only when you were leaning over him, casting his form in shadow, did he stop and look at you.

why were you coming to him? why weren’t you running away?

he spluttered as you began to step into the bathtub, and he pressed himself against the wall opposite you in an attempt to create distance in the narrow space.

“what are you doing?” he squeaked as you leaned towards him once more, flabbergasted and flustered. “aren’t you scared of me? i’m a monster—“

his breath hitched as you pulled him into a gentle hug. “i’m not scared of you, levi. or upset. you’re not a monster,” you murmured, looking up at him.

he blinked in shock, and despite his whining as well as his protests that he was gross and disgusting and pathetic, he had pulled you close faster than he’d like to admit.

he could only hope that you wouldn’t notice how his heart was practically beating out of his chest.

“you’re none of those things. you’re my best friend,” you reassured him, and when you looked up at him, chin resting on his chest as your arms were wrapped around his waist, he was trying to fight the tears that were beginning to sting his eyes... and stop his poor heart from exploding.

“i’m sorry, levi… for being so distant and not being completely honest,” you looked at him with all the sincerity you could muster. “you didn’t deserve that, especially when you were so worried about me.”

levi nodded, but realized what you were saying.

“wait, y/n, no, i should be apologizing—“

“you already did—”

“no, i mean really apologize,“ he sighed. “i’m sorry for invading your privacy and just barging into your studio, for one… you were, err, obviously in the middle of something important. and i’m sorry for my outburst—“ he winced at the thought, glancing at your bandaged arm. “that was horrible, and completely unfair, especially since you didn’t do anything to warrant it, really… and i hurt you too, god, i’m just so path—“

you shushed him. “cut that out, you’re not, although i appreciate it. and hey, at least i’ll have something to remember you by now,” you wiggled your eyebrows. “imagine what everyone will say when i tell them i survived a brutal demon attack,” you teased, giving him a smug and playful look.

levi rolled his eyes, a smile playing at his lips. “are you trying to call me a weakling? that i was so easily defeated?”

you snorted. “well, in my defense—“

“i’m the naval captain of the devildom, y/n, i’ve downed thousands of ships in my lifetime, i could easily take you down if i wanted to,” he huffed, averting his gaze.

you shook your head slightly, chuckling. “yeah, i bet you did, mister.”

when he turned to you again, his heart jumped and lodged in his throat. the way you were looking at him with those eyes of yours, sparkling and half lidded…

his gaze lowered to your lips, plump and glossy from your impeccable care routine… he so wanted to kiss— wait, no, you had a boyfriend, what was he thinking? cut it out, he internally scolded himself, forcing his gaze back up.

“levi…” you hummed, and he blinked, caught by surprise.

“i think you wanted to tell me something?”

i love you.

“y’know, the super duper important thing that had you barging into my dance practice?”

oh.

“i, uh… well…” levi cleared his throat, remembering his original intentions. “no point in hiding it anymore, so…”

he smiled at you, the giddiness returning. “i got tickets.”

you stared at him, confused. tickets?

and then it hit you, and when he saw your jaw drop, his smile widened.

“that’s right. don’t ask me how, but i got soundcheck, barricade, and backstage.”

you opened your mouth to speak, but he brought his finger to your lips as if he was shushing you, and he chuckled a little.

“i thought i just said to not ask! anyways, the best part is, you’re going with—“

you pushed his hand away. “i’m not.”

levi blanked, smiling to divert the wave of hurt and confusion. “what? what do you mean?“

“i… i can’t. i’m already going with someone else…”

his heart sank. he could feel the wave of envy start up, and he felt sick, but managed to choke out “is it your boyfriend?”

“no, it’s not. i’m going with my group of earth friends… we’re gonna be traveling together for the break.”

“oh… that’s— that’s cool, yeah.” he was doing everything in his power to stop a flare up again.

“i’m sorry, levi. that sounds amazing, but i’ve been planning this trip with them for… so long now, it wouldn’t be fair to cancel on them.”

“yeah… i get it,” he scoffed, looking away, the bile rising in his throat… but what he really wanted to say was, “what about me?”

“yeah…”

“so… that’s it, then? you’re leaving after exams?”

you nodded, biting your lip.

“i see.”

and then it went quiet.

“… levi?”

the silence was deafening.

“levi.”

why wasn’t he responding? why won’t he face you?

“leviathan. look at me, please.”

whether it was on his own volition or because of your pact, he quickly turned his head, his eyebrows furrowed as tears streamed down his face.

you could feel your heart breaking, and quickly pulled him into a tighter embrace, tears forming in your own eyes as you placed your head right above where his heart rested, tuning in to the rapidity of its beat. the guilt was already eating you alive, but this was the metaphorical truck that finished you off.

levi couldn’t find the will to do anything but sob into your hair, holding you against his chest.

“i’m just—“ his voice broke. “i’m not mad… i’m just gonna miss you… so much,” he lied. well, it was only partially— he was definitely going to miss you.

you nodded, closing your eyes. “i’m gonna miss you, too… more than you know.”

“okay, well, i’m gonna miss you the most, soooo… there,” levi laughed into the fabric of your shirt, and you couldn’t help but to roll your eyes.

“yeah, yeah. is there anything else you wanna tell me while we’re at it, you big crybaby?” you felt him huff. “why do you care so much about my boyfriend, anyways?”

levi suddenly stopped sniffling, and you felt him tense up. bingo.

“i… i’m just surprised you never told me, is all! i’m your best friend, y’know? i should be the first to know about these things, duh.”

“mmm, i’m not convinced.”

levi thought for a moment. should he really tell you? would he really go so low as to homewreck?

the short answer is yes, he would. but not right now. this was a nice moment, and he wanted it to last a little longer.

“so… anyways,”

you bursted out laughing. “very smooth, levi.”

“shut up. i was only going to ask what you wanted to do… seeing as this is one of the last times we can properly hang out, i guess.”

“i’m STILL not convinced, just so you know.”

“whatever helps you sleep at night, y/n.”

the bickering went back and forth a little while longer before the two of you decided on a proper agenda: scavenge for dessert and one last binge viewing of galaxea content before it was time to hunker down for finals.

except… you really didn’t want to get out of this position. not only was it cozy, but his bathtub was also really slippery and ridiculously hard to get out of without stepping on each other.

that, and you could tell levi didn’t want to move, either. besides, it was so warm… and his hoodie was so soft… and his breathing was so relaxing… and the way his fingers brushed over the pact mark on the nape of your neck made you feel fuzzy…

before you knew it, you were waking up to the sound of his alarm. your body was sore, and you groaned as you struggled to move your limbs, but paused at the sight before you: levi, face soft and peaceful as he snored away blissfully, arms wrapped around you tightly as he hugged you close to him, your legs intertwined. most surprisingly of all, his ruri-chan body pillow was long forgotten, probably being slept on top of.

you couldn’t help but to trace his jaw with your fingers, softly carding them through his hair once you had mapped out his face. you felt heat burning your cheeks, and suddenly, there was only one thing on your mind.

has he always been this pretty? or did you just never notice before?

you felt a foreign emotion bubble in your chest, and you had to stop before… you didn’t know what, exactly, but you couldn’t risk it. plus, his alarm was starting to annoy you. how come he hadn’t woken up yet?

“levi,” you said a little too loudly, and his eyes shot open. you jumped back a little in surprise, but a smile tugged at your lips afterwards.

he rubbed the sleep away from his face, groaning in annoyance. “why did you… wait.”

he blanked, looking back at you. you were here. in his arms. in his bathtub. was it morning? was he dreaming?

he stared at you in surprise, his cheeks visibly turning the shade of a ripe tomato, and small giggles escaped you.

he looked down, only to see you were both fully clothed. of course. why wouldn’t you be? ahaha…

his alarm was starting to seriously get annoying, and he grumbled as he dug his phone out of the pile of pillows beneath you, turning it off the minute his hand closed around his device.

you both had a full day of classes and studying ahead of you, and knew you had to go and get ready, but… even after all of this…

you both weren’t ready for this to be the end.

due to your conflicting schedules, you’d be the first one done and would be leaving while levi would still be testing, so this was goodbye for the next few months.

you gazed at each other, communicating everything wordlessly, and as you pushed away, beginning to climb out of his tub, he grabbed your hand, squeezing it.

you squeezed it back, smiling as you started gathering your things, slowly making your way to the door.

you heard him sniffle again, and suddenly felt him pull you into him from behind, embracing you tightly. you didn’t even hear him get up.

“goodbye, y/n. don’t forget about me, okay?”

you turned your head to look up at him, the moment bittersweet. “i’d never forget about you, levi. how could i?”

stay, he wanted to murmur in your ear. stay, and let me hold you a little longer. stay, where it’s just us two. where i can have you all to myself. where you don’t have to leave.

but he didn’t.

the two of you stayed like that for a moment longer, before he suddenly let you go, gently pushing you away.

“alright, now go. before i start crying again,” he whispered, watching you sadly as you walked to his door, opening it.

the faint light from the hallway cast your figure in a golden glow, and the last thing he heard from you before you were gone was, “i’ll see you in a couple months, okay? i’ll find you at the concert, i promise. look for me.”

the days blended into each other, and the afternoon you were supposed to move out, levi kept himself holed in his room. he was supposed to be writing an essay, and as the timer slowly ticked away, he heard the muffled sobs and goodbyes of his brothers. mammon’s dramatics and asmo’s fussing stood out the most, but he could also pick out lucifer telling everyone he’d be back shortly as he would be dropping you off along with diavolo.

proctored test be damned, he closed his eyes, attempting to hear any trace of your voice one last time… but all he caught was the loud shutting of the door. you were gone.

as you were escorted to the portal gate, you expected to hear from a certain someone. they wouldn’t just let you leave, you knew they’d message you.

and when your phone buzzed, you peeked at the screen, a little giddy... but it wasn’t from who you expected.

the last message you got on your phone before exiting the devildom wasn’t from levi, but from asmo.

“you’re not being honest with yourself. i know you love him,” was all it read, chills shooting down your spine.

lucifer and diavolo’s voices blurred into the background as you shook their hands. what was he talking about? you were about to respond, but when you looked back up, you were standing in front of your company’s building, your devildom phone gone from your pocket, like it had never existed at all.

you were home.

[doverstar]

Love the way you write your characters! Rose doesn't seem dumb at all! She's obviously got a lot in her mind and stress so sure she may not make the smartest decisions (ie not calling backup, following a stranger into a house) but it's not far from what we've seen in the show???

Thanks so much! Your thoughtful Ask has given me somewhere to word-vomit and process; excuse me while I do so-

The way I’m writing Rose is very intentional. And if that makes her seem OOC, that’s on me! She is very canonically smart and resourceful, but she’s not perfect - I never like her more than when she’s being incredibly emotional instead of being incredibly clever, or when she’s scared instead of being a confident girlboss, but she’s fighting through the fear anyway to save the day. I like Rose best because of how human and relatable she is. That’s what makes her remarkable as a companion - she’s the perfect equal to the Doctor because she’s not like the Doctor. She doesn’t figure things out right away, she doesn’t always do the wisest thing. And sometimes those are the things about her that help others most. She’s the most ordinary girl in the world - Doctor Who really needs that. And I’m trying my best to keep her in-character in that vein specifically!

I tried to communicate (maybe poorly!) in Lost and Rewritten that the reason Rose doesn’t immediately see the truth: that Will is the regenerated Doctor hiding out with his new companions, chemically engineered into believing he’s human - besides the fact that hi, who would put that together right away? - is because she doesn’t want to.

For Rose, Lost and Rewritten takes place only a year after Doomsday. Rose’s narration at the end of Doomsday is despondent - it’s implied that she doesn’t get hopeful again, doesn’t try to find the Doctor again, until at least like…two (???) years later canonically, when the stars start going out and Torchwood starts building the dimension cannon so she can get the Doctor’s help saving the universes. And bonus, she can finally go back to him.

So - Rose is fresh off of Bad Wolf Bay in LAR. She just lost the Doctor a year ago. She’s still in mourning, in a way. She’s spent a year convincing herself not to address that pain, because the Doctor himself told her they can’t ever see each other again, so how can she hope? There is no hope, it’s over. If she hopes, she gets hurt by the disappointment of those hopes. So for a year she’s built a little wall around herself and not cried and not socialized and just carried on, because the alternative is active misery and that’s too much. She thinks the best thing to do for now is to focus on her job at Torchwood and not expect the Doctor to burst back into her life at every little otherworldly encounter. It’s not obliviousness; it’s willful ignorance. Rose is choosing not to entertain the idea that the Doctor could come back -

Except that she totally is. In spite of herself. Because she’s Rose. She loves him and she’s selfish and she can’t help hoping he’d find a way back in spite of the danger. She can’t just give up on him or forget him.

But of course she’s not expecting him to have regenerated if he does show up. Of course she’s not expecting him to think he’s human. She’s seen all kinds of weird things, so Amy and Rory and Will and the Angels being intertwined, that she can believe, fine. (She even tested out the Void detector on Will and decided on her own that it was faulty.) But Will being the Doctor? Why would her brain make that connection until it’s super obvious? She’s just not there mentally. Not because she’s slow - I never meant to imply that she was stupid - but because she’s not willing to expect something like that. She’d be expecting Ten. She’s smart, and she’s capable, and she’s amazing, but she’s also a normal human being. That’s why her character is so great, I think.

Even with all Rose’s foreknowledge, I wrote LAR in such a place and time from her POV that immediately seeing the truth right in front of her was not an option. I personally don’t think she’d make all the right connections right away. And in a situation full of panic and confusion, she has been canonically shown to get stumped and maybe even give up until given the right push.

But I dunno - I mean, I’m explaining my train of thought, but my characterization could be off. I’m just trying to do what I’ve seen the show do with Rose. If she’s not brave, funny, kind, clever, selfish, human, she’s not herself. She’s a Mary Sue. But she’s one of my very favorite characters of all time, so you can see how I’d hate doing her an injustice.

[colloquialcolors]

okay, having finished horizon forbidden west today (yayyy), a word vomit of post-completion i itial response/thoughts written in a tinely manner bc i Do need to commute to work in about. uh. 6 and a half hours.

- what do you MEAN. The zeniths brought a DIFFERENT EXISTENTIAL THREAT EVIL AI BACK WITH THE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THESE MOTHERFUCKERS BROUGHT BACK A MANIFESTATION OF THEIR OWN HUBRIS AND FLAWS AND ITS GOING TO. FUCKING. KILL THE EARTH. AND NOW THEYRE DEAD AND I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.

- FOR FUCKS SAKE.

- I JUST. SAVED THE WORLD. CAN YOU ASSHOLES STOP DOOMING IT FOR LIKE. FIFTEEN MINUTES.

- I am very pleased that this time they reset to AFTER the final mission so I can actually feel like Aloy gets some kind of a break after saving the world. again. Like the world is still ending but i can let her take a lap on a sunwing or have her eat some food or something without IMMEDIATE WORLD EXTINCTION hanging over her head.

- It was a little sad to have the base be so emoty tho :( void of everyone except Beta (yay) and Sylens (auUuuughhhhHHHHH)

- OKAY. backtracking.

- Really, genuinely, truly, LOVE how they did Aloy's character arc and development for this game. It was a very intentional choice and I think they pulled it off REALLY admirably.

- It is a very specific, extremely well supported, completely reasonable character trait to have Aloy not know how to ask for help or operate with help, and be independent to a fault. It was very intentional to have her unlearning that as the core emotional arc for the game and it did it. So well.

- Starting the game with Aloy lying to her friends, leaving a celebration early, and going off to start saving the world again, solo, was SUCH beautiful and crisp characterization and sets the bar so wonderfully. Erend and Varl pissed at her for it but still helping, resigned to the behaviour and still steadily working at it. Augahguagahh. friendship. my bread and butter.

- And Aloy growing out of it was NOT a one and done over. It was a growth, over the course of the game- it was a matter of repeated lessons, of various scenarios and people proving themselves, and intentional efforts and missteps. And it means in the last mission, when Aloy is delegating tasks and checking in with people and thanking them for coming- but not trying to turn them away- the difference is so fucking felt. Its core deep, and about someone who understands, fundamentally, how important relying on others and having others is.

- And its just- im not super pleased about all the details of HOW they did it. But I underatand why they killed Varl, from a storytelling standpoint, and I just. The person who was so dogged about getting her to accept help, who Aloy was so clearly pushing away in part because she was worried about getting him hurt or killed. His connections to Zo and everyone else are what starts the base. He is why Aloy can grow that way. And he dies before he sees the full fruition of it. He falls to exactly what Aloy was so scared of- dead as a casualty of a mission she felt was hers.

- But it is because of what he'd done up until that point, that Aloy does not shatter from the loss. Its BECAUSE of what he'd done that his loss does not set her back in connecting and caring about people and accepting help. Letting them risk themselves!!! His work is what secures her ability to survive when he is lost to exactly what she was scared of!! fuck!!!!!

- Shes going around after his death and- shes asking other people how other people are doing, which is so funny to me. queen of emotions. but shes doing it! His absence is his presence and his presence defines the nature of his absence and. the outline love leaves when it goes or w/e. im . auaghgha. varl ilu.

- This isnt even getting into the Beta scenario which like- god. god. Aloy you're kind of awful and I love you. you are ill adjusted and well intentioned and deeply hard on yourself and then you meet. yourself. except not and THATS how you learn to be kinder to yourself. and others. delicious! fucked up! beautiful. Aloy is yelling at Beta about why arent you better and wow the layers. again. wonderfully done.

- Like damn how did you guys fuck that up right next to the great main plot.

- So. given all that. you'd think they would have been able to write Zo's reaction to Varl better than that, huh.

- ugahjhh.

- I really. loved. the way the base grew and changed over the course of the game. The steady creeping of the plants. Items moving in. The way things were added to Aloy's room even though she was never sleeping in it. (The image of people creeping in and adding stuff so that the scant moments when Aloy is there she could enjoy things..... aaaa).

- Kotallo!! What a lovely character. He definitely grew on me. I appreciated the way he had the arm at the end but didnt really opt to keeo it on permanently. In general- idk. I liked the dynamic he and Aloy had at the end. 👌

- Alva. Sweetheart. mixed feelings as a character but I think I understand her archetype so she was. fine. In general the quen really just had me >:|

- fucking. techbro asses. fucking tech bro c e o fucking hero worship fucking dumbasses ugHHhhhhh.

- LOVED the designs of the clans otherwise though- Plainsong? Fucking stunning. The different Tenakth areas incorporating the local terrain!

- The museum in the Tenakth area, and how it fed into the specifics of their founding beliefs and culture? Fucking. Loved it. Bits piecemeal that get focused on and turned into a world and founding belief... dont have words for it rn but really good.

- Talanah spending her whole sidequest being like. Oh God. My Man :( was kind of. eh. but listen shes a girlboss who fixed the Hunters Lounge so she can do whatever she wants. including being really concerned over her manz for her whole plot. u get ur guy. i support you.

- Petra im glad youre doing well im SO sorry i couldnt flirt with you more actively.

- Erend is lovely once its clear he is no longer trying to hit on Aloy. the two of them mourning varl makes me. im fine. its fine or w/e. goddammit.

- Three cheers for various Quality Of Life changes. I am So Glad i never had to inventory manage in this game!!! incredible!!!! pulse your focus!!! wow!!!!!

- LAS VEGAS AREA MY BELOVED. BRIGHT LIGHTS AND SPECTACLE THAT ARE ZERO SUBSTANCE. MONUMENT TO BOTH FLASHY SPECTACLE WITH NO VALUE AS WELL AS INHERENT HUMAN LOVE FOR SHOWMANSHIP AND ADVENTURE AND SHARING EXPERIENCES.

- aaauhh. also. Hodgins from Bones as the inventor guy. 👌

- God I just . Underwater las vegas area. The moment when the water drains and all the lights are on around you and its so meaningless but also like- hey humans did all that! all these stupid advertisments and meaningless announcements about deals long gone and its doesnt mean anything anymore. But it matters that people made it. And its still. Beautiful.

- also tideripper :)

- New machine designs in this game? fucked severely. Slaughterspines? big bat? solar panel ptearodactly? LOCH NESS MONSTER?

- That said the AOE and rolling/stagger in this game is a BITCH.

- Rich People Be Fucking Shit Up as a theme is so funny. and devastating. they do be doing that. haha. :|

- Watching the last hour and Tilda was into Elisabet and Alva had a GF in the Quen and *gestures ay Aloy* and its just so funny like. damn aloy you got so many gays here in your base huh. good on you.

👌

- the. the end. where the new risk is there. and she doesnt tell them. and you go. ah fuck. but then. in the cutscene, immediately after- its clear she does. and she talks about hope. and relying on others and its like. AughhHHhHHHH. growth. she does not tell them when they are celebrating. but she DOES tell them. she takes the moment to breathe. and she tells them. and she works with them. and shes going to work with them. Love It When A Character Develops.

- ah fuck i need to sleep.

- Fun mechanics. Beautiful extension of the game. High highs for writing as well as low lows.

- Someone let Aloy take a fucking NAP, jesus christ.

[arts-and-drafts]

Come Morning Light (Part 6)

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five

(Long time no see, aha ;; Sorry this one took so long, I've been very busy IRL and haven't had a lot of motivation to write. Anyway, I've looked at this chapter for way too long so I need to let it go or I'll just keep poking at it. Mind the TWs, and enjoy!)

CW: Multiple mentions of death, mention of injury, violence mention

-

Bdubs kept a watch on their back as he ushered Tommy into Xisuma's main tower, the kid still tense as a spring even after their heart to heart. They had to run all the way to Xisuma's portal since Tommy had no wings, and the poor kid ended up vomiting as soon as they exited the portal from overexertion. Bdubs hated having to rush the boy as soon as he was done instead of giving him time to recover, but they had no idea where Dream was. Bdubs didn't doubt that he wasn't far behind, and they couldn't risk a single second for him to catch up.

Bdubs' worries eased significantly after seeing several hermits already in the tower, the uneasy chatter of a busy room soothing his tension.

A small gasp caught his attention, and Mumbo was already halfway to them by the time Bdubs looked up. The hermit didn't even pause before he was already embracing Tommy, the first time he'd done so without asking first. Bdubs opened his mouth to remind Mumbo to give the kid space, but his words died in his throat after noticing Tommy shudder and melt into his mentor's arms just as he had for Bdubs.

"Oh my gods, Tom, oh my gods--" Mumbo exhaled, his arms shaking as they held the boy like he was the most precious treasure. "You're okay, you--you're okay." The hermit pulled away to cup Tommy's face, looking the kid up and down fervently. "Are you hurt?"

"No," Tommy uttered thickly, wiping his eyes. Mumbo looked about to pass out from relief. "Thank the void--"

"Tommy!" Xisuma's voice reached them before his hulking form did, his boots thundering against his concrete floor. Bdubs noticed Tommy full-body flinch at the noise, and Mumbo pulled the kid closer in an attempt to comfort him when they turned to the admin.

Xisuma's gloved hands nervously flitted over Tommy's shoulders before resting there, the admin kneeling down to be eye level with the boy. "Are you alright?"

"Fuck, man--" Tommy muttered under his breath, his expression pinching. "Why does everybody keep fuckin' asking--"

Xisuma's eyebrow raised sharply and Tommy sighed dejectedly, though Bdubs saw Tommy's old self for just a moment in his childish expression. "...I'm fine."

Xisuma's eyes crinkled in a hidden smile. "Good."

The admin stood again, raising his arm to quiet the group of hermits that started to gather near Tommy as they realized he was in their presence. Bdubs saw the faces of False, Keralis, xB, Wels, Ren and Doc looking attentively up at Xisuma, their expressions varying from concern to fear to anger.

"As most of you know by now, we've--we've been invaded." Xisuma started. "A player has come here with the intent to hurt Tommy, and they're willing to kill as many of us as it takes to reach him."

From the corner of his eye, Bdubs saw Tommy's face crumple with a heartbreaking expression. Hearing the situation aloud made the whole thing more real.

"This is..." Xisuma trailed off, his shoulders sagging. "I...I want to apologize. And I'll do so again when everyone gets here, but..." The admin turned to look down at Tommy, who was hollowly looking back.

"I'm sorry. My whitelist wasn't strong enough to protect this world. You're all in danger because of me." Xisuma inhaled with the slightest shake under his breath. False reached up to lay a gentle hand on his arm, a silent encouragement.

"I...have a few ideas on how to deal with this." The admin continued with more strength in his voice, nodding at the influx of other hermits who were arriving as he spoke. Hypno, Cleo, Joe, TFC, all of them frantically searching the growing crowd until they saw Tommy safely tucked into Mumbo's side and visibly relaxed, though they didn't put away their weapons.

Joe moved against the wall to get to Tommy, the boy obliging without a word when the wordsmith opened his arms. Bdubs' heart twisted painfully at the sight of Tommy shrinking into Joe as if the hermit was his only solace, like if he shut his eyes tighter then he could just disappear into the safety of Joe's arms and leave this terrible reality behind.

"This is the first time someone's been powerful enough to break through my magic." Xisuma said, his tone serious in a way that commanded his every word was to be clung to. "This new player is a threat, and he's made that very clear." Every hermit's face flickered with anger at that, fists clenching and eyes narrowing at the reminder that one of their own was attacked and murdered so viciously.

As if on cue, Iskall came staggering into the tower, instantly aided by Hypno and xB. Seconds later, Stress, Jevin, Etho and Tango arrived, all together with matching looks of determined rage. Bdubs noticed they all paused to check Iskall, who was being carefully eased down to rest on the concrete floor. His throat tightened as he saw pain wrack Iskall's features, his communicator heavy in his pocket.

Tommy had been spared the news that Iskall fell to Dream's blade, too urged by Bdubs to check his comms, but when Tommy was blocks ahead Bdubs stole a look in case it was news telling them to detour. Seeing Iskall's name next to Dream's almost made the hermit trip over his own feet from the shock. If Dream could take Iskall down...

And as if more salt needed to be rubbed in the wound, Bdubs could clearly see that Dream hit Iskall so hard that he was still feeling it. It terrified him to his very core to know there was someone that powerful coming right for the kid he almost killed once already. How many hermits would fall before Dream was subdued?

"We're not prepared to take on a threat like this," Xisuma continued, and Bdubs snapped out of his swirling thoughts to pay attention. Right, the plan. Xisuma was going to tell them what to do and then everything would be okay.

Bdubs had to believe that.

"However, we do have netherite armor, almost every one of us." Xisuma said, taking that moment to stare right at Joe, who grinned back with more nervousness than sheepishness. "And for those who don't, we definitely have enough ancient debris among all of us to spare."

A whoosh of air announced Grian landing outside the tower doors, his enormous wings buffeting the hair of several hermits near the entrance. Impulse and Zedaph followed a second behind, both without their usual bright smiles. It made the whole situation suddenly seem much more dire.

"I'm sorry to ask this of you, friends." Xisuma said, his tone falling into genuine sadness. "But we need to gear up. We need to protect Tommy, and our world."

Bdubs knew that all his admin wanted was to maintain a safe haven for his hermits. Now, despite his best efforts, that was no longer going to be the case until Dream was taken down.

Xisuma took a breath to continue, but everyone's communicators buzzing in unison cut him off. It was out of habit when Bdubs glanced at it, but the messages froze his eyes to the holoscreen in shock.

[GoodTimesWithScar hit the ground too hard whilst trying to escape Dream]

[cubfan135 was slain by Dream using Nightmare]

[Dream has made the advancement Sky's The Limit]

All the color drained from Bdubs' face as shocked murmurs and gasps broke out among the group of hermits, and there was nothing to stop Tommy from looking at his communicator this time.

Tommy was gripping the device so tight that Bdubs feared it would snap in two, his diamond eyes fixated on the messages. He already knew that Tommy was blaming himself in his head.

Before he could say anything, the kid turned to Iskall like he finally noticed him, his expression as fragile as glass.

"He's after me." Tommy croaked, his eyes unwavering from Iskall on the floor as his voice tried so hard to stay even. "You're not--you're not safe."

"Tommy-" Joe tried, faster than Bdubs. The kid responded by forcefully pulling away from his guardian, holding himself in shaking arms. "Don't--don't try to fucking deny it, any of you."

The venom in his tone made Joe pale, the poet halting in his tracks to reach out to the boy.

"He--he's gonna kill all of you." Tommy breathed, his voice thick. "He's too strong, he--he's gonna get me and you're all going to pay for it."

"We can come back, Tom." False finally spoke, her words the gentlest that Bdubs had ever heard from her. Tommy looked up.

"He can probably kill us. I don't doubt that he will." False said, and Tommy flinched. "But if he does, we'll respawn and go after him again and again."

False's eyes were kind, her voice unwavering with steady calm. "We are killable, Tommy, but we will never stay dead."

[atorionsbelt]

have u seen the bear and if so do u see the parallels btwn royjamie and sydcarmy bcuz there are soooo many to me. they've really helped fill the rj void in my heart like we have

icon in their field + newer talent who looks up to them

mentorship that grows into them becoming equals of sorts

have been to each other's houses + already know each other's sisters

sentimental meaningful gift exchange that shows how much they care and pay attention to each other im gonna be sick

being all up in each other's space/touching for no reason at ALL

eye fucking and lots of it.

sexually charged anger need i say more

if ur not a sydcarmy truther thats fine or if ur an anti im sorry (😳) but I just love royjamie and have found myself looking for lil bits of them in everything i watch now so imagine my delight when i found this show. whew sorry for the word vomit lmk if you see the vision and take care <33

i can kinda see the parallels! thank u for compiling them i never really thought about it like that. i am starting to like sydcarmy it’s all very new to me still.

but idk, i think syd is very much her own character and stands alone from anything i’ve ever seen, i can’t really see jamie traits in her. as for carmy i think he’s got a mix of traits from both in rj. maybe that just lends to how men are similarly written. i think that’s also why their arguing doesn’t remind me of rj either bc mlw and mlm tension will never be charged the same way. and to me i’ll almost always be like “yup the woman is right and the guy is dumb” in a fight.

but someone needs to write rj watching the bear and being super into it. canon. then jamie makes roy teach him how to cook

[jcbbby]

This is going to sound really stupid but I'm thinking about starting to write fanfics and because of my anxiety I'm afraid no one will like it. Do you have any advice for beginners?

Thanks a lot,

@theundead-lover

P. S. I used to be Grindledore13

first of all: not stupid at all!!! I think that's something that all fic writers feel when they start (and honestly even well into their writing...lol, we all have moments of doubt or get overly self critical about what we write) I only started writing because I had an idea in my head and wanted to get it written out, I didn't think I would be like...a legit fic writer here, you know? I didn't think anyone would really care or like it, but then I started getting requests and people DID enjoy what I wrote. the silly little ideas I had and just sort of word vomited into the void were enjoyed by others too. it just sort of happened, from that little first idea I had, that I wanted to read.

I think that's the best advice I can give. write for yourself, first and foremost. if YOU enjoy writing it, others will enjoy reading it because that excitement and energy will be felt through the writing. and if not that many people do, well, fuck it! you enjoyed writing it, it made you happy! that's not for nothing! :)

I feel like fic writers often get wrapped up in this sort of idea that fic writing is an obligation to the fandom or something. once you start, and once you start getting people who enjoy your work, you need to be pumping out all these great fics and answering every request all the time. but I personally believe it is, and should be, a totally self-indulgent hobby. you should just have fun writing what you want to write about, about the ideas you want to write and that get you excited!

I'm so sorry this kinda turned into a novel lol, but I hope it was helpful. bottom line: fanfiction is for everyone, and should always be for yourself first. I'm sure whatever you end up writing will be great! <3

[werewolfdays]

Word vomit and complicated feelings rant under the cut, feel free to ignore!

So I’ve been struggling with my writing a lot lately. I knew what I was getting into when making this blog. The fact that I’m not a visual artist, that my work is original and isn’t published, that’s it’s in the werewolf genre, and that the main ship is f/f all means that I most likely won’t ever gain much of a following. For the most part, I accepted that and was fine with it because I love doing this, but sometimes when I’ve been feeling low it is very difficult and disheartening.

I know there definitely are a small handful of people that genuinely love this story and my characters. I see you and I deeply appreciate you. But a lot of times (especially lately) it feels like I’m putting my content out into the void and it’s been making me question why I do it.

Which is a Me problem that I need to work on for sure. I’m not trying to throw a pity party, I just needed to voice my struggles in some way. I’m not really sure when or why the decline happened. On a personal note, I had a falling out with a very close friend some months ago that still deeply affects me in a lot of ways, one of which is that we always used to really bond over our stories and characters/support each other creatively and now that dynamic is just gone. I think that’s been a more devastating blow to my creativity than I realized and thus contributing to the emptiness on here. Maybe people have just gotten bored. Maybe I’m too slow at producing content. Maybe it’s all of this.

Anyway, thank you to those that have stuck with me, who have sent me nice messages, who have supported me. I’m not going anywhere, but sometimes things are hard. I’ll do my best to work through it and fall back in love with my writing.

Thank you! 💕

[adamjvarner]

Hello! I'm here now.

Hi, I'm Adam! I am a writer, indie game developer, "Communications Services Director," and wannabe filmmaker based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Pleased to meet you!

For a while now I've been thinking of making a new Tumblr Account. I made my first one around 2010, stopped using it around 2015, then used it briefly in 2019. Maybe a little bit in 2020.

In less than a month, I will turn 26 and be booted off of my parents' health insurance. Since I'll no longer be able to afford therapy, I need some outlet to vomit my thoughts at, and what better solution than a public, electronic journal? A void I'll assume at the time that no one is reading, but will throw my words back in my face ten years down the line.

I'll most likely restrict myself to pontificating about food or posting about my projects.

Thanks for reading, have a good day!

[cybermeep]

had sat with a group of three dudes today.. all of them ive known to some extent, with one being an acquaintance i invited over. acquaintance with curly hair & freckles & glasses. he looks like a deer… is that socially appropriate to say? i mean it in the sense he has brown eyes & has a very soft facial structure, also is very quiet & reserved & kindhearted.

anyway, i had sat with him along with another friend and i guy i know of vaguely. asked friend why he liked history to get a complex & long answer using words like geopolitical and axis powers.. heard these terms before, but don’t always remember what they mean off the top of my head. he seemed very happy to discuss the topic with someone and i was more than happy to listen. didn’t really discuss much of what i liked as him and his friend were off showing each other funny photos & such, ones he called personal so i dropped it. got to talk with other acquaintance with the curly hair & deer-like appearance and whatnot. got to tell him he was a good person & that he deserved just as much as he puts out, cue his thanks. nobody at the table wanted anything, though.

..i had written a long paragraph here, one of truth & usual observations, before i realized it sounded.. very pathetic. since cut from whatever may actually release, but will have it known i paid for a girls items whom i don’t even know of well simply because of needing some sort of person to converse with as i went to buy something i wanted. asked her if she was alive & spat out word vomit because i had nothing elegant or truly important to say, simply just wanting to fill a void. i do hope she enjoyed her snacks.. sheldon cooper also inevitably got discussed today, awful constant. friend at table asked about my shrimp plush to which i said his name was sheldon.. to hear, “oh, like sheldon cooper?” in a knowing tone of voice. i groaned and had to restrain myself from having my fists bump against the table loudly, so absolutely done with the discussion of this man & done with his existence. yes i know he’s fictional but i cant stand him. made my annoyance known to have my friend utter thats the point, which… i guess…. But still. i said young sheldon isnt good & he disagreed…….. i cant take anymore of his stupid baby face. SHELDON, SHELDON. not my friend, i mean the fictional character sheldon cooper. sorry. anyway, i feel like if i hear his name another time i will explode & am immensely aggravated two separate people like this show. not aggravated in some kind of vendetta or actual spite, just annoyed.

anyway, having discussed history stuff with a friend & whatever the outcome of that was has made me realize he’s.. interesting, i think. he has 45 hawaiian shirts and likes history & i am very much unsure of his status on trans people which is rather scary, but hes interesting. the only day i get to talk to him in a given place is the day 6 in our rotation; others hallways & texts. overall feeling towards him is neutral fascination & a hint of apprehension, although curious to talk to him more.

as for other events, gave a friend a thank you note and gifts for her comfort she gave me two days ago. was going to give it at the last period of the day, but realized that was unneeded when she was standing in the hallway.. also tedious.

[offside-the-lines]

🧸🌲🎰

🧸 Do you have any object that you like a little too much or can’t seem to get rid of? What is it and why?

Hmmm... this was incredibly hard because I'm not a huge 'hold on to a sentimental object' kind of person. I get these spurts of hoarding and purging everything to charity. Not everything but, you know.

I would say this: I like to buy sweatshirts/hoodies/tshirts at meaningful places. Like when I graduated from college, I bought a sweatshirt. Every Fall Out Boy concert I've been to. I LIKE MERCH. I am a huge merch person. HOWEVER, weirdly, I don't wear tshirts really and I live in SoCal where it's too hot for sweatshirts most of the time. But I hold on to them like little tokens of different moments in my life. If I have 15 sweatshirts/hoodies, I only ever wear like 2-3 of them.

🌲What is a place that gives you a sense of peace?

The truest form of this answer is under the sea. Scuba diving. There is just this WONDER that comes over me at watching these creatures that are from another world. Makes me get very philosophical about purpose and shit. AND you have to be focused on your breathing and buoyancy. It's like a 360 degree meditation. Incredible.

But short of that (because I can only do that a few times a year if that) is just sitting on a beach that is (largely) empty and listening to the waves come it.

🎰 What is a gamble/risky decision you have made recently that has paid off?

Fun fact about me, I am a deeply risk adverse person. Hmmmmm this is about to get kinda deep and personal so I'm gonna put in under a read more :) TLDR: It was taking a break. CW: parental trauma shit.

So, I've been a "high achiever" my whole life. And was pushed by very strict and demanding parents to always be BETTER BETTER BETTER. Nothing was ever good enough. I needed to be the best of the best at everything. And I was never given a choice nor did anyone really care if I was happy. (Literally my parents' catchphrase is "you will never be happy because no one is ever happy because suffering is the only way" which like what a fucking bummer.)

ANYWAY, so my entire life I felt like I was holding onto a high speed train I didn't want to be on headed who knows where. And I just didn't know how to get off it. Or was too scared to. So I just kept doing it. Like pre-pandemic, I was in grad school full time, working two jobs and running two student organizations. I don't think I have ever taken a break (or been allowed to take a break).

So I graduate from grad school, get the worst fucking job ever during COVID lockdowns. Was fired from that job because I was so burnt out and unhappy and not performing. And at the same time, my (then) boyfriend got a job in a different city. And so, we kinda said fuck it? Like I don't have anything lined up and I have no idea where my life is going, but yeah I will move with you. (Risky? IDK. Pretty risky for me).

With that move, we kinda both decided I needed to just take a break and actually think about what I want to do with my life. And so, for the first time ever, I just didn't do anything. No school. No job. No non-profit work. Nothing. And I think before this, I had no idea I needed that? But I did. (And I am so so so lucky that it was an option for me at all).

And yeah. It's not like "all the way paid off" because I still technically don't know what I am doing but I did realize that I never actually cared about "achieving". I don't get any pleasure from "status" (quite the opposite). I was just scared of what would happen if I didn't. So, I'm finally at a place where I feel good about that. I don't need to be some career powerhouse because it will never make me happy.

And I am now married to an amazing person. Which is cool.

Anyway, I'm so sorry to anyone who is still reading. I have literally NEVER been brief about anything ever and I'm just screaming into the void. Just word vomit. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Or more accurately, an obituary of some version of me.

[annhoneybadger]

Hi void,

It's me again.. long time no talk. I have missed our little conversation. Even if it's just me talking to myself. It makes it easier sometime to see it written out. I know I could just journal and keep my thoughts to myself, but where is the fun in that.

Life has definitely had its ups and downs lately. I have never felt so uncertain of the unknown. I don't like my job, I constantly have to mask and have my pronouns discredited. The environment is just so toxic based off one person, but i need the money. They won't do anything about him cause hes the golden boomer that everyone loves. Le sigh..

Im about to turn 30, and that freaks me out. Like wtf am i doing?! My life is just changing so rapidly it feels like. I know everything works out in the end usually. But I don't know what the end looks like. I feel like I have no control of what will happen. Maybe I'm just tired and my brain is very chemically unbalanced. I have been so depressed and unbalanced that I don't even recognize myself half the time.

When do you start thriving? I feel like I'm barely surviving.

I don't know where was going 😅 but there is my word vomit. Thanks for listening

[littlelegend]

A little dark under the cut because I need desperately to put this into words

I feel like I say "I want to die" or a little harsher words a tad too much. And I am not sure if I say it lightly actually. Am I just being dramatic? I don't think I am depressed. My life isn't awful, it's alright. And I like to think that I know myself well enough. I can never concentrate fully on one thing. I am constantly tired and I want to spend at least a month in coma. I can still get out of bed properly, talk to people okay. And I feel like I am not afraid of death if it's painless. I am probably wrong though. Do I need some sort of near death experience to remind me about that fear or prove that it still exists somewhere in me? I am not trying to be emo or anything, I just feel so desperate. And tired. I just really want peace and quiet.

Maybe its just exams talking. I am being over the top knowing that I am about to fail mine. My body feels numb and my stomach is churning. I don't put my full effort into anything, why can't I? A thing I thought I had talent in turned out to be a lie. So I don't have any value or talent now. I know I am not a bad person and people who are my friends are sincere people who love me and I am so thankful to them. I can't say this to any specific person though because I know they have their own things to worry about and that's fair. I don't think they'd understand this weird bundle of feelings anyway. And I know I need a therapist, but without one currently, I need to throw this out into the world. Screaming in the void in the night, hoping nobody is down there. I will delete this post later.

Head empty except for the words "word vomit". So I decided to write it down too. Idk, future Little. Whether you've somehow finished this day well or not, whether you've figured it all out or not... I know you are feeling a little bit more relieved at least. And got yourself some chocolate.

[doverstar]

I love your fic so much! I absolutely love reading people's fics of "niche" ideas (I mean that in a good way like unique! Hopefully it doesn't come off as rude!! D: ) Because you can really see it's their child and like a labor of love!! Also thank you so much for adding to 11/Rose we're starved for centric fics😔

Take all the time you need!🧡

(also pls tell me about your writing process if possible, I'm envious of how you keep things so connected in a long format!)

It did not come off as rude and thank you so much! With Doctor Who there’s infinite room for people’s niche ideas. It’s the greatest idea for a show in the whole world; you can do whatever you want! I think the best way I can describe what you’re asking about regarding my writing process is Notes. I make a big messy document on my laptop for everything I write, long or short, called “[Insert Title Here] – Notes (or Pre-Write)”. In it, I talk myself through what the story is about, what happens, the themes, and how it ends. There are sometimes charts and color coding but mostly it’s me babbling in word form until I have it all down. Then I can go through it later and stick to what I want to do without getting off-course or distracted!

Here’s an example of one of my Notes documents, for a Stranger Things fic specifically:

Obviously, not everything I first write down in the Notes babble has to be what happens—it’s just something I can look at when I write the story to remind myself what I wanted to do, and if the story takes a different direction while I’m writing it—because of the flow or because it makes more sense—then I do that instead. Notes is just me being organized instead of winging it. I used to wing it when I was thirteen and writing Phineas and Ferb fanfiction, the old glory days –

Then, when Notes has been vomited out, I move on to a pre-write, which is not always the traditional sense of the word you learn in schools – it’s just me writing a paragraph under each chapter title to explain what happens in the chapter and whose POV it’s from, and I mark like Balto on tree bark any strand of thought or prop or character arc I want to carry over or change in the next chapter(s). For example, with Lost and Rewritten, I marked in each chapter’s pre-write (with blue letters) where I wanted to mention the Void detector, because it’s part of what Rose is noticing and what Rose is missing, and it’s basically a physical prop for why she is/isn’t seeing what’s really going on. It’s less about what the actual Void detector is telling her and more to show where Rose is at mentally after Doomsday. If that makes sense? Anyway, that’s how I connect things! Notes. I used to just do whatever felt correct without Notes, but in my old age, a little more background direction is necessary. Thanks so much for the kind words and for reading what I write!