#but alas the rest of the group is not gay enough for that to work

[catelyngrant]

what a nice day to remember that sharon raydor was unquestionably a lesbian

[noa-ciharu]

Subaru gets drunk and makes it Karen's problem crack fic

Thanks to Twitter idea of Karen making mistake of her life and inviting Subaru out for a drink wormed into my mind. Ofc I was insane enough to buy Smirnoff, get tipsy myself and write this crack fic. Absolute insanity, Subaru gets wasted for first time and can't shut up about dick he's not getting

Broke is fixing Subaru, woke bullying Seishirou and bespoke bullying Subaru (and Karen who has to deal with this depressed repressed horny drunk for first time in his life light-weight gay mess)

I even made a moodboard for drunk Subaru :D (fic is below)

Karen took a sip of her drink and leaned into bar stool. She side-eyed her drinking partner who was in sorry state after just one shot, sighed and wondered how she roped herself into this mess in the first place.

For past few weeks she’s been stopping by Seal’s dorm on semi-regular basis; just to make sure kids were alright, as much as circumstances allowed. Every now and then she ran into Subaru there; one needn’t be a genius to figure out guy was moping non-stop. He could use a shoulder to cry on, good dicking down or getting wasted, Karen diagnosed; as they were mere acquaintances she kept those thoughts private. Rest of Seals were children, of course they couldn’t offer too much reassurance to adult who by all indications went to hell and back; on other hand Karen barely knew anything about Subaru’s private life, hence it wasn’t her place to tell him what to do.

Alas, during today’s visit Karen ran into Subaru again. If possible he was in even worse state than usual. After battle with other side’s Kamui yesterday their Kamui was in yet another coma; maybe Subaru was extra down in dumps because of Kamui’s state or maybe for having noone to mop together with. Something about friendship goals. Really, if that’s how Kamui was emotionally relying on maybe they should all book graveyard spots on time; so much for emotional support, Subaru couldn’t even support himself.

Either way, Karen took pity and invited Subaru out for a drink. He looked like he needed a few. Impulsive decision but then again, she didn’t expect him to say yes anyways; mere courtesy, so she could tell herself later on that she at least tried bonding with third adult in their group. Imagine her shock when he agreed right of the bat – and even suggested that drinking night is tonight.

That’s how they ended in a pub close to Clamp campus. And that’s how after first drink Karen began questioning all her life choices that led her to the point where she had to play a bartender therapist to this melancholic therapist by occupation who happened to be in dire need of real therapist.

Subaru slumped over counter after just one glass of sake. He toyed with glass’ rim, looked like he was about to cry. Karen internally cursed herself again; cursed Subaru as well for putting her in awkward situation. Just what could happen to a man to reduce him to this moping mess? Love problems? Shitty life situation? Poverty? No, he was head of prestige clan, no way he had money issues. Death in family? Possibly given how he related to Kamui’s tragic losses. Karen hopped it ain’t that one; she could deal with love problems, her line of work made her more perceptive of any underlining emotional issues.

She dealt with countless types of men before, only natural Karen was confident she could handle a melancholic repressed gay.

Karen had no idea how wrong she was.

“Is this your first time trying sake? How do you like it?”, she tried with small talk. Had to start somewhere.

“I miss him”, Subaru murmured wistfully, completely ignored her question. Actually there was no need for verbal answer at all, his reaction spoke volumes.

Ah shit here we go. Karen took a sip of gin, mentally prepared herself for another round of soft parenting an emotional messed up man; only difference from her clients being that this one had zero interest in getting into her pants, just the opposite – wanted someone to get into his. Maybe Subaru needed both to get wasted and laid. Surely that combination would fix him.

“Miss who?”

“Seishirou-san…”

Like name meant anything. Karen said nothing at first, nursed her drink and waited for Subaru to elaborate. He didn’t. Just kept on yearningly gazing at almost empty glass as if that was his ex. Unbelievable. Karen definitely needed another shot; preferably something strong. For longest time she assumed there was noone with more internalized issues than her but next to Subaru she felt like common sense on two legs.

“Your ex boyfriend I assume?”, she asked finally in hope of breaking awkward silence. What to say, amazing drinking buddy.

“It’s… complicated”, Subaru murmured.

Of course it is, otherwise they wouldn’t be here. God forbid anything was simple with this mess in adult form to her left. Karen sighed and took a shot of dry gin. Ugh, so heavy on stomach, throat stung – exactly what she need to survive a night.

“If only we d-dated back then ... at least he would have dicked me down good”, Subaru complained with same face and tone one might use to describe weather.

Good thing she wasn’t drinking anything, otherwise she would have spit it all out. Listening to prestige clan head drunk whining he’s not getting enough sex surely wasn’t on Karen’s to-do list. Who would have thought someone as refined and modest as Subaru was just a repressed hormonal mess in a worn out coat and Balenciaga turtleneck; money surely wasn’t an issue but everything else was. Beware the quiet ones indeed. Karen had a hunch Kamui was following Subaru in steps. At least boy had higher chances of getting laid given how his battles with other Kamui looked.

“How do I get him to fuck me?”, Subaru yelp a tad bit too loudly and captured everyone's attention. Great, now everyone knew she was drinking with a gay man; so much for hoping for a peaceful night without getting hit on. So much for that. On brighter side maybe some of those suitors would try wooing Subaru instead of her.

“How much submissive and breedable I need to become?”, he complained further and reached for a glass. None of those words were in bible.

Instead of picking the glass up Subaru flipped it over; alcohol poured over counter. Subaru murmured sorry and cleaned the counter – with bare hand. Unbelievable. Never before has she seen such light-weight. But then again, that depended on food intake and general experience with alcohol; not only Subaru had none but also he struck as someone to live on ramen and tea.

There was no other - this night is mistake of a lifetime. All the men of quality were either taken or gay but Karen wasn’t really sure where to put Subaru there. Of quality part was… disputable.

Karen fetched a napkin and shoved into Subaru’s hand. He thanked her and managed to clean the counter before bartender showed up. If someone told her she’d be babysitting a twenty something man she would have laughed in their face. And yet here she was, doing precisely that.

Alas, consideration got the best of her - “Are you alright Subaru-san?”

“No, I need him to destroy me”

“Like in sheets or in streets?” - Karen asked hesitantly, unsure if she actually wanted to know.

“Yes”, Subaru deadpanned.

Yes, she definitely didn’t want to know.

Bartender walked to their side of bar. Karen took a moment to get herself another shot; heaven knows she’ll be needing it. Subaru also took note of that, apparently he wanted another round too. Karen was torn between being only responsible adult here and letting ambulance take Subaru home. Not to deny it, temptation to do the latter was high.

“Another one of these transparent things”, Subaru asked assuredly, like there weren’t dozen of spirits that fit that description.

“What?”

In turn Subaru raised glass up to bartender’s face to clarify - “This”

Glass was empty.

Karen wished second-hand embarrassment was strong enough to kill them both. Alas, it wasn’t.

“Just get him something light”, she cut in before Subaru could order Smirnoff and end up in newspapers.

He eased cigarette pack out of coat and lit one. Offered her one as well; she accepted. Subaru took a drag, then sighed and leaned against the counter. His expression was… tragic, to say the least. Really, he looked like his whole family died or something; despondency so primordial one couldn’t imagine him not being sad. Maybe she underestimated herself when she invited Subaru out; maybe this truly was a mess in human form that couldn’t be fixed - just made worse. Challenging but not impossible.

Subaru sighed, raked fingers through hair and took another puff. “Like all the repressed horniness of all these years struck me at once”, he whined and shook head in utter disbelief.

Ah, classic case of depressed repressed mid twenties man. Guy who wanted to believe he can’t keep own needs in check all until he could no longer – and that’s how all kinks known and unknown to mankind get unleashed. Karen had the unfortunate of meeting fair share of those in her line of work but something told her Subaru was league on his own.

“I must get railed before the dawn or I’ll die out of sexual frustration”

Noone ever died of that – Karen almost countered but kept argument behind teeth. Never say never and she’d rather not be the one to break the news to Seals, let alone explain why one fo their strongest met his maker and that he’s nowhere pure and demure as he appeared. How can she tell Aoki only other “adult” in group died because he didn’t get dicked down? Karen facepalmed and reached for her drink; it simply wasn’t doing it for her, she was still too sober for this.

On other hand, finding Subaru a man for the night could turn out to be interesting. Despite being the absolute worst drunk ever, he was still attractive; plus that horny sad puppy dog look would only allure sugar daddies like moth to the flame. Sure, he’s not yet over his ex but nothing a good fuck couldn’t fix.

“Best way to get over a man is to get under another. I’m sure we can find you something here”, Karen offered back and hoped Subaru will be sensible about his choices. Who knows where his ex even was? Would he even want Subaru back? Really, the sooner he gives dating others a try the higher chances of recovering from this ridiculous obsessiveness were.

And of course – curing the pinning diaster gay syndrome. But Karen didn’t have high hopes of that ever being fixed.

“I don’t want something”, Subaru protested right away. Because of course he would; of course nothing in Karen’s life can go easy, not even finding a drinking buddy. She was here to have a good time and what did she get? Role of a babysitter. Karen couldn’t wait until Sorata and Yuzuriha twenty so she could take them out drinking, they’d be far more interesting company.

“I want… him” – Subaru added yearningly and glanced up, kicked puppy look on face.

Karen was half tempted to ask just who that guy was so she could meet that ultimate alpha male capable of causing this much psychological damage. Whoever that guy is he is a pro at ‘making him worse’ for sure. Karen didn’t dare ask what they broke over about; no amount of dry vodka would make her forget.

“His dick or nothing” - Subaru puffed with absolute firmness and reached for tequila. Damn, she told bartender to bring him something light; couldn’t blame the guy for wanting to profit on someone like Subaru who’ll surely give a big tip.

Now Karen had to meet this ‘Mr. magical big dick’ guy. Frankly speaking, taking Subaru’s sorry mental and emotional state into account she has a hunch big dick title would be more allegorical derogatory one than literal. Not like she could ask Subaru just how endowed his ex was.

“How do you know his dick is so good when you never felt it?”

The moment words left Karen’s lips she knew she fucked up. Subaru whimpered and teared up immediately; sniffed once more and rubbed eyes with back of hand. Great, now on top of being messy horny drunk he’ll turn into sobbing one, cry a river here and get them permanently banned from this bar. She loved this place!

Rule no.1: never remind Subaru that he never got fucked by his bastard ex.

“I know it’s good. I know it…”, Subaru sniffed further, sulked and took a smoke so deep he started coughing.

Rule no.2: never bring his ex’s bedroom skills he didn’t even get taste of into question.

“Alright alright, whatever you insist”, Karen tapped his back and changed the topic. “How he looks like? Maybe we can find someone similar”

“He’s hot”, Subaru purred out, love-struck look on face. Unbelievable.

Rule no.3: just play on a safe side and never ask Subaru anything about his ex. It’s for mutual benefit.

Being so dazed Subaru didn’t notice where he wasn't putting out his cigarette; so he ended up dowsing it on back of own hand. He hissed at first, then closed eyes and moaned. Karen hoped she heard it wrong due to loud music but pleasured look on Subaru’s face betrayed everything.

“Damn that felt so good, I wish he’d do that to me”, he moaned once more, completely unabashed.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that”

True she could be quite kinky herself when partner whets her appetite but it seemed Subaru’s masochistic possibly fatal kinks had no limits. Awkward really. All in all now she was entirely sure she and Aoki were only adults among Seals.

Subaru chugged remaining tequila, hissed and raised empty glass up in air. Karen regretted not bringing a camera or something just so she could show a sober Subaru how loose his drunk self is. He’d wish Earth opens and swallows him whole so he’d get drink to forget and only open a vicious cycle. Also it’d serve a good advertisement what happens when you’re leading a repressed depressed life as a gay man. Kamui needed to see this cautionary tale and world will get saved immediately.

He sighed again with pensive look. “His shoulders are so wide he has to walk sideways through doors”, Subaru praised (or so Karen assumed although there was nothing admirable about being built like a triangle?) his ex and raised empty glass to lips. Then pouted once he realized no alcohol was left. Karen tried visualizing Subaru’s ex but all that her mind came up with was a red colored triangle; red as all the flags this disaster gay must have missed.

“Damn I wish he lends me that shoulder to put legs on whenever I’m sad”

Wait, wasn’t phrase to shoulder to lean on? Whatever makes Subaru happy she gue – wait wait, is that even possible for him? Karen tried visualizing Subaru happy but image came just as easy his absolute green flag ex boyfriend.

Meaning things didn’t add up. “But you’re always sad?”, she addressed Subaru with puzzled look.

“Precisely”

Karen glanced at all alcohol bottles in distance. Maybe if she chugged them all she won’t remember any of Subaru’s ramblings. Apparently bartender noticed her look as he returned to their counter.

“Boy, shot of jack” – she ordered right away. God knows she’ll be needing it. Plus bill is on Subaru’s tab so more reasons to get absolutely smashed. Karma.

“And for me -”

“- only thing you’re getting is water Subaru-san”

She was referring to him with ‘san’ only due to clan head title; given what Karen saw and heard so far ‘kun’ would be far more appropriate.

Subaru moped a bit at being denied more alcohol. Although who was she to tell him, a grown up (however just in name and ID card that should get revoked) man, when enough is enough? For some reason Subaru listened to her; for whole five minutes however before he ordered another gin. He chugged it before bartender even put drink on the counter.

Karen stared. Karen blinked. Utter disbelief. No, let it all go to hell. She chugged her shot too. If she gets wasted to then she won’t have to hold Subaru’s head over canal when alcohol poisoning kicks in. Heaven help Seals if Angels attack tonight, they’d be two commanders down. Although Subaru could use some of those homoerotic battles to get pent up frustrations out of system, just like -

“Kamui is constantly getting licked, choked and homoerotically pinned to the wall by his enemy with benefits” – Subaru vocalized her precise thoughts. If Kamui is tossing and turning in bed now it’s because of Subaru’s repressed envy. So much for dream friendship.

“God I wish it was me”, he moaned and rubbed cheek on bar’s counter. Maybe he was crying, Karen couldn’t tell from where she was sitting.

Karen chuckled silently to herself and took a sip of jack. For a moment she felt pity for him. Sympathy lasted until Subaru opened mouth to spout next insanity.

“Oh Seishirou-san, who you’re murdering tonight? Why it isn’t me?”

She spit drink out.

Stupor was brief however. Self-preservation kicked in, she gaped at Subaru and screamed - “What?!”

Now it was Subaru’s turn to be confused. “What?”, he addressed her with judging look, like he was in position to judge anyone here. “He’s Sakurazukamori, that’s his business”

If God truly existed he was watching this and laughing his ass off somewhere in heaven. Karen facepalmed and groaned for nth time tonight. She was worried her face will permanently deform from all the cringing. So Subaru was fooling around with his clan’s enemy clan; an infamous assassin to the boot. Suddenly Karen wasn’t so keen on meeting man who ruined Subaru’s life anymore; she liked to call that having self-preservation skills and common sense. Unlike disaster in human form to her left that was whining about not being dicked down by a serial killer.

Maybe other side’s Kamui had a point – apocalypse was a dire need.

“What are you two, Japanese version of Romeo and Juliet?”, Karen deadpanned once initial shock wore off. She’ll still be processing this information in weeks that follow with Lotus, for her sanity.

“If only, then he’d both take me and take me out”, Subaru complained for nth time. Karen had a hunch their relationship was fuck-marry-kill on endless spiral.

Oh well, you know the saying – bad boys are hotter then good ones. True Sakurazukamori ruined Subaru’s life but at least Subaru could say a sexy man ruined his life. Wait, what nonsense was she saying? Oh looks like alcohol final got to her.

Good. She took another sip for good measures. The less she remembered the better.

Subaru chugged another shot. He hissed and leaned back into seat – unfortunately way too far. He fell down from stool. Shit, she should help him up, shouldn’t she? But if she got up now balance would betray her too. Plus he deserved some karma, in Karen’s humble opinion. Luckily for them both some guy rushed to Subaru’s rescue. Knight in shining armor and if everything played out right also a dick provider for the night. Karen lost all hope there was a permanent fix for Subaru’s endless pile of issues but some railing will make him forget about his serial killer ex for a night.

Or not apparently. Subaru glanced up at guy, then murmured wistfully – “Seishirou-san?”

The hell no. For a second Karen was worried that was really the Sakurazukamori and that she’ll be reduced to a tombstone for daring to put Subaru into environment where other men can hit on him (look, nothing told her Sakurazukamori was just as obsessed with Subaru as Subaru with him but she just knew, call it woman intuition) but one look at guy’s face informed he was just as confused as she was. Apparently Subaru’s intoxicated mind could still discern normal men from his red flag ex so he stood up on his own and pushed this dejected guy away. So much for finding a replacement, looks like Subaru’s type were guys with body count.

“No wait, I think he’s in left corner actually”, Subaru murmured and pointed that direction. Karen glanced and noticed yet another tall menacing looking guy.

“Oh fuck me and my life”, Karen cursed under breath.

Great, now rest of night will be one paranoid mess induced by Subaru’s horny disaster gay mind hallucinating his ex in every corner. From corner of eye Karen noticed bartender nearing. She waved his way.

“Boy, shot of Smirnoff. Actually make it three”

~ 🍾 🍾 🍾 ~

After who knows how many more shots, complains about not getting any cock, asking for advice on how to change that, hallucinating his ex some more, breaking three glasses, almost getting kicked out, rambling some more about his ex and spending month’s worth of salary in one night Karen finally took Subaru out of bar. She held arm around his waist so he doesn’t collapse. To be fair she too was tipsy but still in far better shape.

“Look, a sakura tree”, Subaru whimpered like a child and pointed towards said tree.

After listening to all the drunken ramblings and things she’d rather not recall Karen came to a conclusion: someone should revoke Subaru’s adult rights. It’s misleading to think of him as grown-up.

For a bit she wondered what to do with this soon-to-be-throwing-up mess that potentially needed ambulance as ride home. Obviously she couldn’t leave drunk as high hell Subaru in the middle of street. If he gets kidnapped, injured or dies in some alley out of alcohol poisoning what will she tell Kamui? That his emotional support died because he was thirsting too hard over some emotionally unavailable dick?

She spied taxis on other side of the street. Alright, maybe she should make sure Subaru makes it home and then have same taxi continue the ride and take her home too. Heaven knows how much she craved comfort of her bed and -

“I think I’ll take Subaru-kun from here on” – low masculine voice cut her mussing short.

Karen swirled around in a flash; self-preservation was how she survived in risky line of work all these years. Tall man, dressed in black; he had sunglasses on at 2am - cringe. Instinct told Karen this guy was nothing but bad news. Apparently Subaru didn’t share the sentiment as he flew into guy’s embrace; arm wrapped possessively around his waist in a flash, grin on guy’s face. So much for learning on mistakes, Subaru charged at red flags like a bull.

“Seishirou-san…”, Subaru murmured and gazed yearningly at 26th ‘Seishirou’ of the night.

Now, whether this one was actually Sakurazukamori or not Karen really had no means of knowing. Triangle built checked out; one could build a bird nest on those shoulders. Also this guy seemed to know Subaru? Maybe? Or maybe not? What Karen knew for sure is that her vision was blurring too much; mind hazy, she couldn’t think too coherently. Plus this guy really did look like a potential serial killer, she didn’t want to mess with him.

But Subaru surely did want to. His type after all.

Alas, consideration part of who she is. She had to ask - “And you are?”

“Noone you should concern yourself with”

That was only reply she got before that guy turned around and strolled away – with Subaru cuddled to his side. Karen numbly watched them roam into crowd. Good, she got rid of Subaru. She’d rather give up drinking for whole year than ever let this night make a repeat. She needs to avoid being left alone with Subaru in the future because that would be bound to get awkward. Oh well, problems for future her. For now she could go home and -

Wait wait wait – she just let wasted defenseless Subaru go with a total stranger! Stranger that’s highly likely to be feared assassin and Dragon of Earth!

Fuck, what does she say to Seals!? That she let Subaru follow his obsessive horny dream and ended up in some ditch? Damn, she fucked up big time. She let Subaru wander off with a guy that’s potentially Sakurazukamori!

Even if he wasn’t, killing Subaru in such state would be child’s play. Great, now she’ll be responsible for disappearance of one of Seals, head of Sumeragi clan to the boot. She could already envision seeing Subaru’s face in newspapers for new few months. But then again, could she be blamed really? She’d drunk as high hell herself, hence in no position to stop that guy from taking Subaru away. Not to mention, Subaru was quite content leaving with him – maybe he’ll finally get his wish for being dicked down by Sakurazukamori granted.

Or maybe not if he ends up throwing in guy’s lap. If that doesn’t get Subaru killed then Sakurazukamori must be just as head over heels for him. Because God knows Karen was tempted n numerous times tonight to challenge him to ‘chugging whole Smirnoff bottle’ potentially fatal challenge; for mutual benefit.

Still, Karen was sure of one thing: if Subaru survived they’ll both pretend this night never happened.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

This is so random and idk why I was thinking about it but... Hawkmetri hand kiss. Like maybe when everyone goes to prom together, they all start pairing off, and since Yasmine is out of the picture at this point, Demetri looks at Hawk and takes his hand & 'jokingly' is like "I guess it's just you and me" and then BOOM hand kiss. Or it could also happen during the prom photos they're all taking beforehand (bc I'm imagining this as Miyagi-Fang going to prom in a massive group) or maybe on the way into the building?? Idk I'm just a sucker for hand kisses and I would like to hear your thoughts

“Since Yasmine is out of the picture at that point” HA yeah, I like how we all seem to agree in the Binary Boyfriends fandom that there’s no way in hell those two would last XD

I can absolutely see Demetri especially giving Hawk hand kisses and Hawk’s entire face just goes REDDER THAN A GODDAMN LOBSTER and he starts stuttering and grumbling and being like “sTOP IT DEMETRI we have a REPUTATION to uphold” and Demetri, shit-eating smirk on his face as always, is like “Ah, but we ARE upholding it--by being the classiest ones here! No one is more suave than us, my dear Hawk” (going along with my headcanon that Demetri calls Eli “Hawk” when he’s roasting/teasing/flirting with him) and then he gives Hawk another little hand kiss and Hawk is just like “JXJNBIUBSDOVOYVSDYV”

Bonus points if this happens after Demetri and Yasmine have a big fight--like maybe they go to prom together, but Yasmine bitches about Hawk hanging out with them (because Hawk doesn’t have a date, and of COURSE Demetri invites him to third wheel because he wants his best friend around literally as much as possible since he got him back). After all, Yasmine’s reputation is already in shambles, and the LAST thing she needs is to be seen with the bed-wetting lip scar mohawk kid. And Demetri is like “Hey, that’s my best friend you’re talking about, and if you don’t like him being here, you can take a fucking hike” and Yasmine takes her corsage and just THROWS it in Demetri’s face like “Well, I hope you like going back to being a fucking freak who’s going to die alone, because you don’t have a prom date anymore!” and storms off. There’s a bit of an awkward silence for a while, and then Demetri turns to Hawk like “Well...I guess you have to be my prom date now, to save me the terrible embarrassment of having to go stag for the rest of the night after being dumped. Shall we?” And he just grabs Hawk’s hand and kisses it and starts leading Hawk toward the dance floor and Hawk fucking SHORT-CIRCUITS more than the crusty old computer lab desktop they worked with at coding camp.

Cue Demetri spending the rest of the night leading Hawk around by the hand and lifting his fingers up and kissing his knuckles and OBVIOUSLY it’s totally a joke, just “acting gay For the Memes” and to amuse all of their friends, OBVIOUSLY they’re not actually prom dates now--just Joke Prom Dates. And Hawk feels weird, because his stomach is all woozy and why the fuck should it be, if this whole thing is just an Elaborate Comedy Routine of sorts meant to make the school hoot and holler about the “gay karate couple”??? And then some slow song comes on, and Demetri’s like “Come now, Hawk, my avian love, let us dance to it!” You know, For the Lulz. Obviously. And Demetri pulls him out on the dance floor and the next minute he’s putting his goddamn bony, gangly hands all over Hawk trying to find where you’re supposed to hold someone during a waltz (like either of these boys know absolutely jack shit about traditional ballroom dancing) and goddamn it, if Hawk’s heart isn’t about to beat out of his chest at being this close to Demetri, at seeing green eyes inches away just glinting with smug amusement, like they so often do, at feeling his skin heat up a little every place Demetri’s long fingers brush up against his suit, at swaying in sync with Demetri in time to cheesy music. And Demetri’s humming along and insists on spinning Hawk a few times (which Hawk ABSOLUTELY does not enjoy, he will HAVE YOU KNOW), and at the song’s last Loud Triumphant Chorus, Demetri just suddenly full-on dips Hawk (when the hell did he get strong enough to do that??? Hawk wonders) and kisses him on the mouth. Once he processes what’s happening, Hawk shoves Demetri off because okay, that’s taking it WAY too far and he just GLARES at him and hisses “Okay, knock it off, asshole! I KNOW you’re just doing this shit for show.” And Demetri pauses for a minute, his entire expression just wilting, before he frowns and says “This was never for show, Eli. I just...I just figured you’d never want to do any of that kind of thing with me if it wasn’t just...just some joke. And I guess I indulged in it a little bit because I’m selfish, and I got caught up in the fantasy that we could...actually be something. But I know you don’t want that, and I should have respected that. I’m sorry.” And Hawk is just lost for words, because...Demetri was actually serious about all this??? And thought he was the one who wasn’t??? And how is Demetri so stupid that he doesn’t realize Hawk’s not pissed because Demetri’s getting too into acting gay--he’s pissed because it fucking hurts for Demetri to act like the concept of them ever being together is just some laughable joke???And--wait, why does that bother him so much?!

And then Hawk Moskowitz does his signature move--Flipping the Script like a total badass, and throwing caution to the wind. He sighs and grabs Demetri, muttering “you fucking MORON” before leaning up and kissing him hard (and he HAS to lean up, because fucking hell, Demetri is a goddamn snarky giraffe of a human). Pretty much the entire dance floor snickers and chortles but Demetri and Hawk just. Don’t. Care.

Meanwhile Yasmine roams the prom, finding the least-ugly guys going stag and hitting on them because it turns out being dateless isn’t nearly as fun and freeing as she thought, even if she ditched Demetri to Make a Statement. But alas, no one is interested in having Front Wedgie as a hot date.

Cue Aisha showing up out of absolutely nowhere, crashing the prom just long enough to give Yasmine another wedgie in front of the entire dance floor and then vanishing from the show again. Everyone begins to call Yasmine Double Wedgie. People are still calling her this at their high school reunion, 30 years later. Yasmine is not pleased.

[mka1098]

I’m Gay Panicking But It’s Fine - A Solangelo One-Shot Fanfiction

Thank you to @windbyfire for letting me use your fanart !

Might be a bit of OOC it's my first Solangelo piece; they are just too cute for me not to try and write them. Also, I'm straight (feel free to make fun of me like my friends, I take all the hits) so my attempt at gay panic is just not great. I just tried to think of my friend when they gay panic. Haha, hope you guys like this piece, and here's the link to the podfic/audio version

Audio listen along: https://youtu.be/xRLTIr6ZqwE

I'm Gay Panicking But It's Fine by Mka1098

Nico is a generally petulant, cold-faced, and stoic person. He smiles only during the darkest and latest of nights and barely grunts a word at people. His expressions are perceived as less than friendly and perhaps the only people who weren’t afraid of him and his ghost powers could be counted on one hand. (Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Hazel, and Renya). So it was a total shock to him when the golden-haired Will Solace bounced next to him right as he was leaving his cabin at 2 PM in the afternoon.

“Uh… hi?” He says in the quietest voice. Will smiles brightly at him.

“Hi, Nico.” The blonde says. Nico frowns. He feels as if he’s being smirked at. And oh, it is not a welcomed feeling, not for him. Enough people believe they can mess with him and those said people were sent right to Will’s own wing.

“What do you want?” He asks with a bit of bite in his tone. Will shrugs.

“Just wanted to say hi.” He says evenly. Nico scowls at him.

“That’s it?” His tone is harsh. “You just wanna pop over here and say hi? For no reason?” Nico says snarkily. Surprisingly, Will doesn’t run and scream in terror; he doesn’t start to shake either. Instead, his smile seems to grow infinitesimally bigger and he shoves his hands into his pockets.

“Yep.” He pops the P of the word before turning sharply left and away from Nico. The blonde doesn’t even look back at the confounded boy he had left standing. Instead, he smiles at some of the other campers and heads into cabin 6.

Nico stares back at him dumbly, even as he disappears into the cabin. “What the Hades?” He mutters quizzingly to himself. Nico crosses his arms tightly on his chest. There are some other campers, gossips for sure, who are staring at him. They are murmuring hush whispers while clearly pointing at him. He sends them a murderous glare; the point gets across and they scramble away quickly. Nico sighs. Sure being dark and broody is helpful when one wants to be alone but there are times when he doesn’t want to be alone. Alas, how on this earth is one supposed to make friends when they have the appearance of a walking skeleton. Nico keeps walking towards the mess hall. He needs food; he needs it now. His stomach shouts at him to hurry up. Hm, if only Jason was here then maybe he’d believe him that yes, the Nico Di Angelo does still run on sustenance-- well, something other than happy meals.

Few campers are still in the mess hall when he arrives. They stick to their own tables, their only sibling. Nico has no sibling, not any that are here at least. Sitting down, he summons plain salted noodles, slightly butter and light garlic; diet coke rather than water. He sighs as he smashes a forkful into his mouth. Pasta’s great and all but he eats it because they are simple carbs. Plain pasta isn’t overpowering, it isn’t too earthy or meaty or lettuce. It’s just enough to keep him upright. Nico sighs again as he finishes half the bowl, quickly getting sick of the dish. As he scrapes the rest of the pasta into the fire, he wishes he had a friend next to him.

-

“Welcome back.” Nico groans as the harsh light attacks his eyes. He attempts to get up but is shoved, gently at least, back down. “You just woke up; it’d be awful if you fainted again.” The voice chuckled. Nico’s eyes register just enough to see curly blonde hair next to him. The figure is wearing a white coat and holding a clipboard; it’s Will.

“What happened?” Nico says in a slight snarl.

“Shadow travel,” Will responds dryly. “Did you know you have a limit on distance and time?” He asks with an innocent voice but his eyes are letting on more than he’s saying. “It seems to me that your body uses a lot of energy to travel around that way and it lowers our blood sugar significantly.”

Nico scowls at him and blinks at the feeling of a hollow ache within him. “Yes, I did know that.” He says. Will makes a half-smile, half-smirk.

“Great, then I’m going to need you to manage your shadow traveling a bit better,” Will says. “I will come up with exact rules soon but know it’s going to be more limited now.”

Nico feels fury well up inside of him. “Not over my dead body.” He growls. Wills chuckles at his threat, annoying Nico even more.

“One-” Will puts a finger up. “-if you were a dead body then I did my job wrong. Two, as if you’d go so quickly. And three, doctor’s orders.” He says firmly, leaning in. Nico crosses his arms indignantly.

“And what if I don’t listen?” He snaps.

“You will.” Will sounds so sure of himself. Nico’s eyes darken.

“And how do you know that?”

Will leans in; he leans in very much. Nico gulps subconsciously and for a moment is shell-shocked by the smug look on Will’s face. His eyes are full of bright lights and mirth. His mouth is pink and completely sure. Nico never really talked to Will before… well yesterday when he had randomly said hi when Nico woke up. He had always known the blonde, how could one not and vise versa. He knew Will was smart and capable and a wicked good doctor; Nico just didn’t know how commanding and snarky he was either.

“Oh, I have a feeling.” With that, Will leans back and rips off a piece of paper, and hands it to Nico. The boy stares at it; it has times and measurements. “Your rules,” Will says easily. “Doctor’s orders.” He leaves with a flourish of his coat and Nico is left still on the bed with shouted orders to rest.

Nico is surprised-- pleasantly surprised. Everyone at camp is afraid of him and his ‘scary’ powers. But Will is not. It’s a nice change. A hint of a smile appears on Nico’s face. He actually listens for once (because he is not Percy Jackson)

-

“What is that?” Nico stares at the cards in Will’s hands. He shrugs. Nico scowls at him deeper. “What is that?” He repeats.

“Mythomagic cards.” Will smiles brightly; Nico wants to put on sunglasses. “I was playing with a couple of my patients when I remembered that you used to be a huge fan of the game. That was how you identified Dionysus right?” Will teases. Nico feels his face warm up, something that never happened before. Indignantly, he turns away with a huff. “Huh? Don’t like it? Mm… could’ve sworn you still liked the game; oh well, see you later then.”

Will only takes about 3 steps before Nico caves. “Wait,” Nico calls out quiet but Will hears and spins around as if he had shouted at the top of his lungs. “I- I still like the game, okay?” Nico says, trying to act hardened but it wasn’t working as well as he was hoping it would.

“Perfect!” Will says with a grin on his face. “Come join me.” He puts a hand out between them. Nico stares at it. What? Noticing that Nico didn’t move a muscle, Will quirks an eyebrow up. “Huh? Too much for you to handle?” He teases. “Sorry, just say it.” He brings his hands back to the pocket of his sweatshirt but smiles welcomingly for Nico to follow him. Nico frowns before giving in and following the blonde. He still catches the smirk residing on Will’s face.

“You don’t need to look so smug; I still like the game,” Nico growls. Will tilts his head to the side.

“I hoped so.”

They enter the hospital healing wing and there is a group of kids in clean white robes that seem to light up when their eyes catch on Will. They are young-- ages 9...10...11...12 perhaps. “Dr.Solace!” They chorus before even noticing that Nico stands next to him. Will smiles brightly; he looks almost like an angel of medicine with the sun shining through the window. “You’re back!” The kids continue. Will laughs and leaps onto one of the empty gurneys. Nico walks and stands awkwardly next to it. The kids don’t spare him much of a glance-- he wants to melt into the shadows to escape but finds that the wing is so lit up with light the nearest shadow could barely cover his entire hand.

“I am!” Will says, eyes Twinkling. “And… I brought a friend.” He presents his arms out like a magician showing his newest trick. The kids stare at Nico. Nico stares back awkwardly. Uh… what is he supposed to do now? He waves; a tight forced smile is on his face. The kids look at him intently and then back at Will. They smile, a move Nico did not expect, and nearly giggle out. What on… what? “Guys…” Will says with a head shake. Nico looks at him with a head shake. Is there a blush on his face or has Nico forgotten breakfast again? “-don’t laugh. This is Nico.”

A kid falls over, chortling. “Oh… we know.” He says mischievously. Will sends him a hard look. The kid turns back to Nico and thrusts a stack of cards in his hands. “You’ve ever played?” Nico looks at the cards… amateur set.

“Yeah.” Nico grunts. The kids here are all too young to know his past-- they don’t know what these cards mean to him. “Course I do… I’ve got seven of these.” He continues. The kid’s eyes widen like saucers; the other kids gasp dramatically.

“No way!” The kid lights up like a firework. “That’s so many! I only have that one of everything. But I do have two Apollos!” The kid explains.

“No, you don’t! You don’t have Athena.”

“It didn’t come with!”

“That’s no excuse.”

Nico is confused and stares at the bickering kids, unsure of what to do next. WIll seems to have noticed his discomfort because he leans over slightly. “Tanner, he’s one of Ares’s kids. Lara’s mom is Athena. They like to fight a lot but they’re friends.” He explains. Nico quietly nods, observing as Lara and Tanner begin to shove each other's shoulders. Will allows them to fight for a minute longer before cleaning his throat and stenly glaring at them. Lara sheepishly takes her hands off of Tanner’s shoulders. “That’s enough; do you want to start the game now or what?” Will smiles, holding his cards up. Nico copies the motions, inspecting each player carefully.

“I’m ready to win.” Lara brags. Without meaning to, a rare smirk raises to Nico’s face; it feels equally foreign and nice.

“That’s funny because I’m sure I’m going to win,” Tanner shouts at her. Lara stickers her tongue out at her.

Nico lowly huckles, hiding it behind his stack of cards. Will seems to be the only one who notices it. The blonde looks at him with a smile and eyebrow quirk. Nico scowls. “What?” He snaps.

Will shakes his head. “Nothing. Just nice to see that look on your face.”

Nico stares at him, unsure of what he means. So instead of worrying about it, he resorts to slamming these kids at Mythomagic. No one knows it better than he does.

“Woah! How’d you do that?” Lara shouts at him when Nico unsurprisingly wins. He shrugs.

“Easy move.” He says lazily. Lara glares at him but it’s nothing like her older sister’s stare so he’s not fazed at all. “You’ll learn it in time.” He all but teases. She snarls at him; he slightly grins back.

Will laughs and forces Lara to put her cards back in the pile. “He’s a big fan of the game, don’t take it personally.” He tells her. Tanner looks back at Nico with wide and impressed eyes.

“Really?”

Nico feels awkward-- never once has anyone looked at him in awe. Why was this kid doing these? What did he want from him? “Uh- yeah. I have most of the extra packs. You know, it’s fun.” HE babbles out, wanting to melt into the ground. Tanner leaps up onto his gurney.

“That’s awesome!” He cries. “Can you play with us more?” He asks. His eyes go big and wide and Nico finds it in himself to not shut him down with a harsh no. tanner looks excited, Lara looks interested and Will looks smug. Nico snarls at him.

“What’s got you all happy and sunshiny?” He asks. Will just keeps smiling, still looking like a medicine angel or whatever.

“It’s nice seeing you have fun. I’m so used to you groaning in pain on one of these.” He motions to the gurneys. “You should play with us more. Lots of the kids love the game.” Will asks. His smile seems welcoming. Nico is still unsure if he should or shouldn’t agree. “Besides… how else will those extra card packs come into use?” Will teases.

Nico decides that he’ll agree to play with him more often. “Touche.” He mumbles and Will knows he’s won. The kids are a bit loud for his taste but the game is fun. It’s nice playing with people who love Mythomagic almost as much as he does. And Will… he’s nice… a little too nice but not awful. He’s a nice friend. Maybe…

When Nico leaves the hospital wing to retreat into his own cabin to nap the day away, he leaves with a new ten-year-old fan, a planned gaming session next Tuesday, and Will’s touch lingering on his shoulder. He buries himself in his four blankets and knocks out for twenty hours.

-

He admits… it’s weird having a friend-- at the same time, it’s so nice. Will is friendly and bright; slightly annoying but sometimes it makes him smile in a way that makes him also want to bury himself into the ground. How could a person look so sweet yet not disgusting? It didn’t make sense! The last time a person had smiled like an angel and been cute without being awful was Percy and Nico didn’t need another round of that.

“Hey… Will, can you- do you think you can help me with something?” Nico says, very nervously. The feeling’s very odd for him; he’s more brooding than awkward on a day-to-day basis. The young patients behind Will seem to giggle slightly. The blonde smiles back at him, looking as golden as his father in a tiny way.

“Yeah… with what?” He asks, leaning forward on the gurney.

Nico opens his mouth to respond but is distracted for a second. Who on Gaea’s earth gave Will arms like that? They’re strong, that’s clear but not overly muscled and big. Lean but firm and oh dear Zeus, why can’t Nico stop gaping at them. Why are they so gorgeous? Why are they so distracting? Oh gods. Nico swallows and forces his eyes away from the view. If Will had noticed him staring, he certainly doesn’t show it. His smile is as serene and pleasant as ever. Nico swears his face isn’t bright red but it may be.

“Um- Per- my dad wants me over for dinner and… I don’t know, I wanna make a good impression on my step-mom; she’s not trying to smite me so I think it’d be nice.” Nico admits, fighting the urge to shadow travel away. God, he’s so awkward. Nico blames Will’s newfound arms for the feeling-- technically though, Nico had been awkward since he called out Will’s name while walking slowly into the room.

“Yeah, of course!” Will smiles brightly.

“Really?”

“Definitely. My shift’s wrapping up anyway so I have the time.”

“Oh.” A smile sneaks its way up on Nico’s face. He hates it. “Thanks.” He says meekly. Will shrugs, calling that it’s no problem and that he’ll meet him at his cabin in about ten minutes.

When Nico closes his cabin door, he questions his own sanity.

He further questions it as Will explains which fork is which and which spoon goes where. Oh if he thought his arms were a distraction before then it was the entire center star of a solar system now. With his doctor coat, most of Will’s arm had been covered and only the forearm showed and a sliver of upper arms-- now his entire arm is on display and Nico’s mouth is basically probably drooling. It’s all lean muscle and beautifully tanned skin.

“Nico? Hello~?” Will waves his hand in front of his face and Nico jumps about a foot in the air. Will snickers; Nico does not.

“I hear ya, salad, soup, all that,” Nico growls in an attempt to hide his gaping. Will chuckles and folds his arms over his chest. Huh, wow… biceps-- very nice. Nico feels dizzy.

“Great, then I will be on my way then,” Will says easily, walking towards the door.

Everything in Nico’s mind and body screams at him to not let the boy leave. He steps up and puts a hand on Will’s shoulder and wow, it’s an equally terrible and glorious idea. He jerks back like he’s been burned; Will takes notice and looks at him like he’s gone insane. He probably is a third way there.

“I- I need help picking something nice to wear.” Nico blabbers out, a very unlikely thing for him to do. “Pure emo black probably isn't the best impression.” He continues like an idiot. He secretly asks for the earth to open up and swallow him whole. Then again, he could probably have that arranged if he really wanted it to happen. “I don’t know what to do, you know…?” Cue awkward grin. Cue facepalm. Cue Will’s weirdly cute head tilt.

“Well your father is Hades so I don’t think she’d really mind this-” Will looks him up and down; Nico’s face becomes red. “-ensemble. But I do get where you’re coming from. I’m thinking… nice but still My Chemical Romance?” Will teases him. Nico scowls at him. “I kid-- actually no I don’t.” Will makes a quick turn and thrust open Nico’s closet. It’s a total mess and explosion of black clothing. He’s unsure if he should be embarrassed or not. Either way, he is. “This… not bad...this one is actually better-- okay, I got one.” Will throws his newfound sartorial choice. Nico catches it in his hands and looks quizzingly at them. “Nice non-ripped jeans, striped black and white button-up… just wear black sneakers and comb your hair out of your face a bit,” Will instructs him.

Nico nods. “Not a bad choice.” He laments. WIlls rolls his eyes and scoffs.

“I’m gay-- course I have some style. What’s your excuse?” He says snarkily.

Nico can only blink back at him. Gay, gay, he’s gay. Oh of course he’s gay! His inner monologue is stupid. I’m gay, he’s gay. Oh my gods, we’re both gay. I could date him! I wanna date him? Do I? No! I don’t! Maybe? Yes? No? He has great arms… it wouldn’t be bad. And a pretty cute smile-- plus he’s gay. Wait… why is he staring at me with that look? Nico opens his mouth but no words come out. Wills starts to full-on laugh. He’s laughing, oh my gods, I’m dead. It’s cute… AH, I’M EVEN MORE SCREWED! Wow, his arms… I should watch him do his blood tests one day. Nope...that’s weird. But would it be hot? Probably…AUGH!

“Are you okay?” Will gasps in between his chuckles. Whatever is happening in Nico’s mind is the mental equivalent to a keyboard smash.

“Yep,” Nico says, preparing to shadow travel. He steps backwards into the shadow and begins to melt away.

But much to his shock, Will’s eyes widen and his hands shoots out, grabbing Nico by his hoodie sleeve. Will drags him back into the light and aggressively points a finger in his face. His expression is a mix between worry and lots of anger. He’s never been like this before. Nico is shocked and weirdly intrigued.

“You’re not getting away with that-- not from me at least.” Will scolds him. Nico stares at him blankly. He’s mad… it’s lowkey hot. Uh- should I be breathing right now because I don’t think I am. I mean, he’s a doctor he could fix me. NO! BAD IDEA! I’ve never seen him so mad. Or mad at all. Huh. Huh... I don’t think my brain is functioning. “-as your doctor… it is an order.” Will finish but Nico caught only 10% of what he said. Nico gulps, not out of fear but out of… well he doesn't even know.

“Noted,” Nico says dryly. Will huffs and nods, looking at him with a fierce glare. It’s now he understands why Percy gets that stupid dazed look on his face when Annabeth is yelling at him. He’s really hot right now and I don’t think that's okay. Nico wants to shadow travel again but it would probably be risky. Not that he doesn't want to see angry Will again, it’s more so… he’s already pushed it.

“Good,” Will says haughtily before leaving the cabin.

Nico stares out his window till Will’s curly blonde hair is no longer visible. He then falls into his bed, face-first into a pillow. He blinks into the pillow-- and does so for a very long time. His brain is fried and it is because of Will.

I’m panicking

-

“I need your help.”

“Really?”

“Yes! Please help me now!”

“Okay, okay, what for?”

Nico looks around him and then back at the IM. “I think I’m panicking.” She raises a brow at him and drily says, no duh. He glares at her; Renya isn’t phased in the slightest. “But really-- I feel like my heart is about to explode.”

“Is your heartbeat really going that fast?” Renya questions. Nico throws his arms up in the air.

“Maybe? Probably not?” Nico sighs and drags a hand down his face. “...I saw Will.” He admits.

Renya’s face turns into an interested smile. “Go on.”She says. Nico feels his face heating up and the following urge to jump into an ice bath. Gods, he hated blushing like a ten-year-old girl.

“Everyone was going swimming…” He continues. The smirk on Renya’s face grows. “-and I decided that maybe I should go too, you know, for fun.” He mumbles.

“Nice to hear you’re not hermit-shelling yourself.” Renya teases. Nico glares at her. SHe only shrugs.

“But-” Nico points up a finger. “Will and his sibling decided to go swimming in the lake too. Which I guess makes sense or whatever, everyone in camp is burning up today but I still wasn’t expecting it.”Nico ignores Renya’s snickers.

“You didn’t realize that he: as a part of the camp, was going swimming in the lake?”

“Shut up!”

“You literally called me to freak out over this.”

Nico just nearly swipes at the message. “I discovered his arms a couple weeks ago and I couldn’t look at him the same; now I’ve seen him without a shirt and I can’t look at him, full stop. He’s hot-- like really hot. Literally looks like his dad; what do I do?” Nico walks around in a circle in his cabin, tugging at his hair in a frenzy. “I stared at him for a complete minute. I don’t think I breathed or blinked or moved at all. Just- I stood there.” He continues.

“Nico,” Renya says seriously. “You’re panicking.” She deadpans. He turns to scowl at her. She raises a brow in defiance.

“I know that!” He cries out. His eyes catch to the uncovered window where there is a perfect view of bare-torso Will ran by. He is silently laughing, hair flying back and eyes nearly closed. Nico gulps and his brain pauses for a minute or two. How are the campers around him even functioning!? It’s like watching a piece of art but not in an objectifying way. “I’m gay panicking but it’s fine.” Nico sputters out. The words are a total mess that falls in front of him. Renya cackles like a witch.

“Will walked by?”

“Yes!”

Nico grabs a blanket from his bed and huddles it around his body. He groans loudly and falls to the ground. Renya’s eyes trail down with him, quietly witnessing his breakdown. She doesn’t even make a sound as he mutters deliriously about how Will is affecting him and that his brain is now melted.

“You know, it may just help to tell him you like him. Might stop the panicking.” Renya offers. Nico glares at her from the ground and forces an arm out to wave around madly.

“What part of-” His arms are now a helicopter rotor. “-this makes you think I could confess.”

Renya rolls her eyes. “You’re an emo-depressed boy, not an emo anxious boy.” She says drily.

“I could be both!”

“But you’re not.” Reyna chuckles. “It’s fine to tell him you like him. He’s not as blind as Percy; he’s as gay as you are so that means he knows what he’s doing. You’ve said it before, he’s very clearly smirked while you blushed. Why not tell him? Will’s not the type to lead a person on. He probably is just waiting his time and having fun with it. It’s more torturous for you than him.” Nico makes a sound of pure gay panic for an impressibly long time. Renya allows him to do so. “I gotta go soon.” She looks off the IM for a second and nods. “However, you still need to at least consider it.” She points at him threateningly.

Nico nods meekly from the floor and watches wordlessly as the IM disappears.

If anyone is able to die from gay panicking, Nico’s unwilling trying to accomplish it.

-

Nico wants to die but he can’t seem to turn off his mouth. The words he was spilling weren’t the ones he had practiced with Renya but Will is smiling at them nonetheless. He’s sure the red on his face has taken over and he’s become a tomato head. Nico feels miserable and thanks all deities for making sure no one else is walking onto the scene.

“-so yeah that's kinda what I wanted to say...yeah.” Nico prays for his father’s realm.

Will lets out a laugh and if it wasn’t so horribly sweet and cute, Nico would have shadow traveled away. “That’s very nice and brave of you to say,” Will says. He leans out and presses a kiss to Nico’s cheek. Nico nearly falls over. “And I like you too. But I’ve been waiting for you to make a move since you started staring at my arms like a lifeline.” Nico gasps and points at Will accusingly.

“You noticed?”

“How could I not.”

Nico glares at him harshly. “I don’t like you no more.” He mutters. Wills sighs but with a smile on his face. He opens his arms and closes them around Nico’s form. Nico is shocked by the fact that he is still standing. His inner mind is frozen still. “Oh.” He says dumbly.

Will chuckles, the sound resonates lowly and vibrates from his chest to Nico. “Does this make up for it?”

Nico scowls but doesn’t deny anything. His heart is beating much faster than it should but it’s kinda okay with him. He decides that, yes the hug makes up for the torture Will put him through: freaking arm tease. It’s warm and comforting and he really likes how Will smells.

“Yeah. It does.”

Awe... aren't they just so cute? I wrote this pretty late at night so my own speech patterns ended up slipping in. By the way, the emo-depressed/anxious boy thing is literally a thing I put in from my own personal conversations. I have a very wonderful NB emo anxious depressed boi in my life. I hoped you guys liked this story and found it either funny, cute, or slightly relatable...maybe. - Mka1098

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Re-post from r/MeehanSurvivors Reddit Community. An Enthusiastic Sobriety Counselor Survivor Story.

TW: References to child pornography, conversion therapy, homophobia, masturbation, and sex.

I would love nothing more than to preserve my admiration for the program, if only for the reason that it would be easier to do so, but after years of being deceived, I find it utterly absurd to disregard any contempt on the basis of the misplaced gratitude that it saved my life. While the program undoubtedly contributed to my success in a number of ways, it has nevertheless become clear that I’ve walked away with trauma that, even after all of this time, I fail to wholly understand. What I do know, however, is that my disillusionment with enthusiastic sobriety is heavily rooted in how I was treated, as the people who claimed to love me evidently made it their mission to eradicate who I was and, likewise, transform me into a duller, lesser version of themselves. I will never know who I could’ve been had they honored the parts of myself that needed nurturing, only who I am today and the damage I’ve since been left with.

From the moment I joined the program, I knew exactly what its expectations were. It was made abundantly clear throughout the treatment process, where I was bombarded with endless conversations about what it meant to be a winner - a concept given context far beyond a sober individual working the twelve steps. I was not only told how to behave, but what to believe about every area of my life. It did not matter if those areas were deeply personal, as evidenced by the countless discussions related to sex; in fact, I would not only learn who we could and could not fantasize about while masturbating, but what we could and could not do sexually - as if we could not be trusted to determine for ourselves the actions we take in our own bedrooms. I also found myself on the receiving end of many conversations revolving around whether or not it was acceptable to shave one’s own pubic region, as was a commonly held belief that a shaved pubic region was not only unnecessary, but a product of one’s own vanity that, incidentally, mimics child pornography. Perhaps more disturbing, however, was the ideology surrounding pornography, in general, that we were ordinarily subjected to. We were first told that no self-respecting woman would want to be with a man who’s actively watching porn; then, we were told that it alters a man’s behavior so much that women will be able to recognize whether or not they watch it. The possibility of romance was used as a weapon against us by the counselors, as well as group members, to conform to their principles, rather than allowing us to establish our own and when that didn’t work, personal attacks were their next best option. I remember being asked if I really wanted to be the guy who’s strung out on porn the rest of his life, as if it was some kind of crippling addiction that would keep me from getting anything I ever wanted out of life. Even more importantly, however, it was through these frequent exchanges that I became familiarized with “Pavlov’s Dog Theory,” a scientific study so bastardized by the counselors that it existed solely to explain away the possibility of any non-heterosexual orientation. Being insecure with my own sexuality, it was of course music to my ears to discover that my attraction to the same sex, a perversion as I then recognized it, was the result of watching too much porn and could be easily resolved by the work outlined by the program. For the next few years, I would work endlessly to alter my sexual orientation back to “normal” and apparently did so well enough that I was eventually asked to attend the Meehan Institute of Counselor Training.

When I was in counselor training, most of what we discussed had very little to do with counseling; in fact, the information required to pass the state-mandated test was tossed aside in exchange for the radically inappropriate teachings that came directly from the program itself. Examples of this, of course, include the explanation that non-heterosexual orientations were not only “unnatural” but an expression of one’s perverse desire for instant gratification, usually resulting from either their addiction to porn, as I had already learned in outpatient, or their unresolved childhood trauma. It was also reasoned that an attraction to the same sex was often a natural consequence of being in an abusive relationship with a member of the opposite sex, a belief supported only by the theory that the person, in question, had unlikely resolved their own fear of getting hurt again. Some people were just “pussies” that had decided to seek the “easier, softer way,” an almost comical assumption given that there is nothing “easier” or “softer” about being queer. I would actually be referred to as a “pussy” while sharing to one of the program's many directors that I had sexual thoughts about other men. His solution for me was that since “there is nothing romantic about two men butt fucking each other,” I should spend the time wasted fantasizing about that on where I would like to take a girl on a date. It’s these ways of thinking that we, who’s families spend $5,600 to send us to counselor training, learn for the three months that we’re there. It’s these three months, where we are taught that absurdity is a natural substitute for science, that earn us the right to then counsel others, many of whom are children. I never could've imagined the abuse that would follow, despite the seeds that had been sown throughout the better part of my recovery.

A few weeks after I graduated from counselor training, when I was working the Step One shift, a couple of the program's directors took me away from it to smoke cigars with them. It was there that they talked to me about how I needed to work on developing more masculine qualities, perhaps by engaging in a hobby that was, according to them, “outside of my comfort zone.” Later on, one of my coworkers would lecture me for the way I had reached out to a girl in the group, explaining that she, along with others, might think that I’m gay for agreeing to watch a “chick flick” with her. Another coworker would make fun of me for crying to a song that reminded me of my dead parent, for the reason that it was, according to her, a “gay” thing to do. In one of the monthly purpose meetings, the director made jokes about me being “inside” of another male counselor - something that was received only with laughter. Bob Meehan himself would even tell the training class following my own that while I deserved the upmost respect for taking everyone’s shit, I was probably gay. When I would share how I felt, in reference to these incidents, I was told that my options were either to “change it” or to “own it.” I began to internalize all of this and, due to my own desire to be accepted, I began working even harder to change these qualities that had been deemed unacceptable by those around me. I would later be celebrated in a purpose for denouncing a dramatic television show for the reason that when I watched it, it made me feel like a “faggot;” however, even that wouldn’t satisfy those around me, as my sponsor, who was also my coworker, would suggest that I stop watching Friends, as well, due to the fact that it was the kind of show his wife watched. I would experience similar criticism from yet another coworker who suggested that I only liked “girly shit” for “shock value” and that it was nothing more than my ego attempting to differentiate myself from everyone else. If by now you’re wondering why I even participated in these conversations, all I can say is that it was always in pursuit of becoming a better man and I trusted that the staff had those answers. I couldn't have been more wrong, as I can't help but notice today that what I was subjected to is in direct opposition of the very laws that protect employees from this kind of treatment by their employers; however, in the program, what’s illegal is classified as “spiritual.”

For years, I felt relegated to a subclass of human existence and for what reason? I spent years working on the things that made my life unmanageable primarily because the people around me decided that it was. Furthermore, I was promised that if I stopped watching porn, which I did for years, my brain would rewire itself and I would no longer be attracted to men. As stupid as that sounds now, why wouldn’t I, as an 18 year old, believe what I was hearing from who I only presumed to be trained professionals? I trusted them and really worked hard to take their every suggestion, going as far as becoming a member of Sexaholics Anonymous, despite the fact that I had never even had sex at that point. It was nothing if not incredibly painful to do the same thing over and over again, only to be told to get up and try again by the very people who would describe that as insanity in any other case. I was never once told that what I was doing wasn’t working for me; instead, I was told to try harder. In all of the time I spent in the program, I was never even given the option to try something different until after quitting, when someone told me that my sexual orientation, whatever it may be, was perfectly acceptable and far from a determining factor in my ability to effectively work a program. It took years to hear that, the majority of which were spent somewhere that I definitely should have. That is not only unacceptable but they should be absolutely ashamed of themselves.

Alas, the problem I have with the program is not necessarily that they’ll never apologize to me, but that they lack the self-awareness to even consider it. When I shared my concerns about the program with one of their counselors, he dismissed them with the statement that it’s a perfect program ran by imperfect people and that I should judge them not by their actions, but by their intentions, which coincidentally, contradicts the program’s reliance on a quote from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous that states exactly the opposite. He also told me that I was angry and resentful, despite the fact that I was neither. When I shared my concerns with another counselor, he dismissed them with the suggestion that perhaps the counseling I received, in regards to my sexual orientation, resulted from how I presented it to the staff. His feedback was not only highly insulting, but a complete bastardization of the facts. Not only was I brutally honest about that area of my life, so much that it's all I spoke of, but I was the client and it was far from my role to ensure that the counselors did their job. I was little more than a child at the time; nevertheless, the implication that my negative experiences were all my fault only served as evidence that any attempt to cooperate with the program, and convince them of the ways in which I was harmed, is futile. Why would I want to, anyway, after years of watching any criticism of the program be rationalized as the delusions of “bailed kids” or “disgruntled ex-staff?” The only answer would be to prevent it from happening again, although to think that outcome is even a possibility appears naïve at best. They’ve made it abundantly clear where they stand, that they’re right, everyone else is wrong, and there’s no reason for them to change anything - lest of course it threatens their credibility, which in that case they only become more insidious in their transgressions.

TLDR: The program not only intrusively dictates the sex lives of their clients, but has proven itself to be particularly unloving toward those who are LGBTQIA+. It is a cultural issue that can not be reduced to a few examples of bad counseling. It is clear that they see no reason whatsoever to change this.

[thewhizzyhead]

you very much Should Keep going (if you’d like) I’m reading your tags like 👀👀👀 I wanna know More!!!

dude believe me i only just thought up 90% 9f this while doing my math homework last night so yea this is very barebones and this is very very new have very little to offer but um imma try to explain a bit more fjdjdc SO ANYWAYS GRADE 11

Warning: this is very long and I am very sorry aaAAAA also i only just thought of this last night and a while ago while attending class so um yea it's chaotic.

the songs i've mentioned so far in the tag ramble aren't um consecutive so yeah there are a lot of blank spaces in between fjsjsj and yea I haven't figured out the other leads and their arcs yet (probably 5-6 leads). for now um the planned songs feature 3 of the leads:

Kate - basically answers the question of What If Eva Sanchez Was The Protagonist and What If Eva Sanchez Saw The Hell That Is Don't Even (in this show, this song is called "Anakpota?" or "The Fuck?"); she's a transferee and is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to the new school environment; her reasons for transferring run a bit deeper than just "humanities is a lot more interesting than stem or business shits"; i guess her main character themes are burnout, the want for childlike wonder again and overcoming the fear that comes with chasing what you really want and no i am definitely not self projecting what are you guys talking about smh rhhdhs /hj (altho i admit that this is loosely based on my own experience with deciding to transfer schools) and yea she's a very closeted lesbian that slowly starts to comes out to others and to herself more throughout the course of the show. and also she gets a girlfriend YAY

Noel - rn i don't have that much planned out for him cause u know barebones plot but so far um i guess he's the chill dude, overall good guy, rantaro amami from danganronpa v3 vibes, and he's initially framed as the "love interest" for Kate esp in the song "Ikaw Ba Ay..." or "Are You..." (i wanted that to be a play on the typical Filipino Teen Hetero Romance CAUSE THAT SHIT IS IN EVERYWHERE JFJSJD I AM GONNA MAKE A WHOLEASS RANT ON THAT SOON AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME) but surprise motherfucker BOTH OF THEM ARE GAY AND BOTH BOND OVER IT AND BECOME BEST FRIENDS YAY WOOOO i kinda want him to be like the typical "Filipino Teen Heartthrob" star student with the twist being that he's gay and not make that a throwaway joke cause um yea that's a throwaway joke here that someone who is real catch for the heteros but is actually gay is "sayang" or "worthless" here.

Ella - ngl she is probably gonna end up as the main lead here fjdjd i'd say she has riley+chess vibes aka The School's Hotshot Achiever and Student Leader That Is Very Intimidating But Is Actually Really Freaking Kind and i guess with a dash of Kate Dalton-ish snark. Like i said the plot is barebones rn so i dunno anything but i do imagine them being the one that drives the plot forward due to her outspokenness. I also imagine her to be the one (along with Noel) that makes Kate a lil bit more comfortable with her sexuality and yup you guessed it Ella is gay too (bi to be specific oh and she uses she/they pronouns) and altho still a bit closeted, they're a bit more comfy with it. also they become Kate's gf yay!

those are the leads that i have kinda planned out so far but yea i still gotta expound kna lot of atuff and make up more leads for this but then again i just started conceptualizing this last night so ANYWAYS HERE ARE THE OTHERS SONGS THAT I LITERALLY JUST THOUGHT UP LAST NIGHT (aside from the ones already mentioned)

+ "Nakakapanibago" or "Well This Is New" - Ella and Kate work together on a school project aaand gay panic ensues. both of them take turns in addressing the audience and panicking over each other in um er an "Oh My God She's Very Fucking Cute What The Fuck" way. it kinda has What Is This Feeling from Wicked vibes if you remove the aggression and antagonization jdjsd and i kinda emphasize on how overwhelmed they are cause for Kate, everything - from the school to the subjects to the people - is new and her attraction to Ella is like a cherry bomb on top of a chaos cake while for Ella, who has studied in the school since kindergarten which is why nothing about the school fazes her anymore, Kate is a literal breath of fresh air and the spontaneity scares them and excites them at the same time. The number is comedic (and is chance for me to add a shit ton of wordplay cause yAY WORDPLAY) but i guess also hints at their fears which will definitely come into play later.

+ "Mabuting Laban" or "Good Fight" - a group number led by Ella, this is the first song in the musical that isn't mostly comedic. like um the musical so far (before this song) is mostly somewhat of a parody-just-for-laughs-don't-take-this-seriously piece but with this, the show finally hints to something a lot more serious and insightful. so basically ella tells kate (this scene comes right after the Nakakapanibago sequence) that they have noticed that the latter is um very very shocked at the blatant show of LGBTQ+ stuff. Kate mentions that altho many students have since then spoke up for LGBTQ+ acceptance, things were a lot more conservative back in her former school (once again wooo definitely not self projection /hj) so like seeing all this is very new to her. Ella then mentions that things weren't always like that - a lot of fighting had to be done in order to get to that point. and because most of the students already were branded with a rebellious reputation (for a lot of delinquent behavior), they really didn't give a fuck anymore if they were being controversial or not. What mattered was that they would make the school environment a lot more welcoming for themselves and for others. That sentiment is also shared by other leads singing along as they go out of their way to ensure a much better environment for everyone (in terms of lgbtq+ rights, undoing the stigmatization of mental health matters, student activism yadda yadda)

(oh and also this kinda serves as something that bridges the prejudices between the two schools since Ella's school is famous for a lot of student delinquency while Kate's former school is famous for being known as the "Best School In The Region With The Best Students" (which is why Ella understands why the students in Kate's school are a bit more hesitant to speak up because Kate's former schoolmates got way too much to lose) and the rivalry those schools have with each other cause students from ella's school think those from kate's school are pompous little shits while those from kate's school think that ella's schoolmates are delinquents and yes this is commentary on the dynamic my former school'scstudents and my current school's students share) (i should probably give this its own song)

+ "Ayoko" or " I Don't Want It" - (this does not come right after Mabuting Laban fjsjd i honestly dunno where to put this) this comes right after a conversation regarding her reputation in her former school and yea this is Kate poking fun at the "I Want" song musical trope. Like um she addresses the audience saying something along the lines of "oooohh wow complicated backstory exposition! you are probably expecting a song rn ala "How Far I'll Go" from Moana but guess what bitches fuck you all cause i'm gonna sing a song about the things I don't want just to fucking annoy you." it starts off as incredibly satirical and um Kate Dalton-vibes all throughout the scene with lots of pettiness which will then gradually transition to her singing about how she threw all the opportunities presented to her by the former school just because she really didn't want to do them and was tired of saying "yes" just to be enough for them. She then starts singing about her taking control of her own narrative by finally leaving the school. She still laments about those lost opportunities and admits that she still kinda wants to pursue those, but if she has to sacrifice rest for greatness, then she doesn't want it. The song ends with a verse akin to most I Want songs as she finally admits what she really wants the most: rest and wonder.

also here's a verse i made up just a while ago

Diyos ko, sabihin mo, ano pa ang kailangan kong gawin/upang mabawi ang mga ninakaw sa akin/upang maibalik ang pag-asang nawala/upang sa wakas ako'y makakapagpahinga/sapagkat hindi na ako nagnanais ng kadakilaan/ang hinihingi ko lamang ay ang aking kabataan

translation (i'll try my best to make it rhyme): My God, tell me, what else do i have to do/so I can take back all that they have taken from me/so that I can bring back the hope I've long so been deprived of/so that for once in my life, I'll be able to breathe/ cause I no longer want all the greatness that you say I could've had/ I only want to wonder, I only want my childhood back

+ "Halos Lagi Nalang"or "Almost Always The Same" - if this sounds familiar yes i rambled about this before gjdjdjd I started conceptualizing this song even before i even started conceptualizing the musical. So yea this is in Act 2 the song starts with mentioning the exhaustion that comes with being an LGBTQ+ teen in the philippines cause yup same old conservative religious bullshit same old same old shit and despite many a lot of people advocating for LGBTQ+ rights, nothing ever changes around here because well conservative religious bullshit. so yea this is kind of an extension of "Good Fight" but make it more about the burnout felt by a lot of teens that want something better than whatever we have right now. Then it will also apply to the other causes that the leads fight for (activism,destigmatization of mental health stuffs, etc). I'd say it's a combination of Before the Breakdown + Move On musically speaking (yea PMA has influenced me by a LOT). eventually this becomes one of the star numbers fo the show cause yea all the leads will do a shit ton of singing and harmonizing (but for here i'd say Noel and Kate have a tiny bit more of the spotlight since for now they are the ones with the very LGBTQ+ based plotlines). I really REEAAALLY want this song to work aaaa i've been playing around with the melody a lot recently and if i can't write the whole musical, then i'll be content with at the very least writing this song

+ "Try Lang Natin" or "Let's Try It Out" - this is a very barebones sequence atm but basically it's a scene where both Kate and Ella come to terms with their fears related to uncertainty and go "fuck it we don't know jackshit about the future anyway so why not ondulge a bit and ejoy what we have today" and decide to start going out with each other YAYYYYY and also this is like one of the few scenes here were Ella is much more visibly nervous compared to everyone else in the scene so yay for helping each other come to terms with their own vulnerabilities WOOOOO (also paige i remember you saying once that kate and eva could've had a Forever reprise duet right? And correct me if i'm wrong but i think u said it could be about eva assuring kate that she won't go anywhere? WELP I'M STEALING THAT JFJSJJDF /lh /hj AND YUP KATE AND ELLA ARE BASICALLY UM KINDA KATEVA IF YOU SQUINT SO THANK YOU PAIGE FOR THAT IDEAAAA)

AND THAT'S IT SO FAR WOO THIS TOOK ME 5 HOURS TO TYPE IT ALL OUT FJDJSJFF i'm kinda impressed with this ngl considering that i literally started making this up last night and i hope that i can make something out of it woo

And if you guys somehow reached the end of the post and have read every single thing, I'm sending you a lot of hugs and a lot of milkshakes

[fiction-in-my-blood]

MC Being Lesbian Fluff/Smut-ish (MWA7R)

I thought it’d be pretty funny to think of how stories would turn out if the MC was gay. So basically this is a shit post but heh heh let’s see how it goes.

Warning: Mature, Reference to sex, Mild language.

~~~~~~

After the company wide meeting appointing the new special executives, I make my way up to the CEO’s office to collect my reward. This is all pretty sus. I should have asked to sign later. I sighed to myself, dropping my face into my hands as I walked down the hall. 

“Hey, MC, nice work!” A female coworker I’m... close with laughs as she passing me and I sigh. She’s smirking, probably imagining me naked after all the times we’ve rolled around in each other’s bed after company parties. Luckily, she doesn’t work in my division, so we only see each other in the halls, but somehow she always finds me.

“Still available for later?” She pretends to hand me a file, drawing close so she can whisper in my ear. I blush, having completely forgotten about the meeting we organised. I don’t know how today will turn out after how crazy its already been.

“I’ll text you if my plans change.” I force a smile and this time she sighs. 

“So tense. You need to relax.” Her voice is low as she discreetly runs her fingers down my back and gives my ass a quick pinch. I squeak, not expecting it, and she laughs, continuing her voyage back to her office.

~~~~~~

My grandfather is- was the CEO of the company I work at and I have to marry a man? That’s all I got from what the now acting CEO, Hayami explained. I was distraught, embarrassed and confused. First of all, what asshole doesn’t introduce himself to his own granddaughter? Well, maybe I should be thankful for that, he could have disowned me too. Who’s to say he didn’t already know I was gay? Well, him insisting I marry a man would be a clue to his ignorance. 

“Um, there’s just one thing.” I laugh awkwardly as Seiichiro asks if any of us have any questions. Ren and Yamato aren’t here, so I don’t feel as embarrassed to come out to all these strikingly handsome men... Until they burst through the door... And agree to join the marriage program. I try to interrupt their conversation, but they seem too busy planning what to do with me to listen. Eventually, I get tired. 

“I’m not marrying anyone in this room!” I announce as loudly as possible and they all freeze, turning to me with varying degrees of amusement or annoyance. 

“You have to, you signed this contract.” Seiichiro smirked, pushing forward the evidence he’s already threatened me with. I cross my arms, wishing I was in a closet on the other side of the planet- excuse the pun. 

“I’m not marrying anyone because I’m not interested in men.” Trying my best to ignore my two childhood best friends standing either side of me, I blush, avoiding all the astonished looks that take over their faces. I didn’t realise I was only attracted to women until after they graduated, and I’m too awkward to just come out and say it, they never needed to know anyway. Arisa and Yumi know, mainly because they walked in on me and my lady friend making out on my desk late one night at the office, but no one else does.

“You’re gay? This is just perfect!” Asahi laughs, obviously amused by this development.

“MC... Why-?” Yamato frowns his brows at me but I give him the look. The look that says this really isn’t the time for him to be acting brotherly. 

“This is a predicament.” Seiichiro’s face screws up in contemplation, glaring at the document in his hands as he tries to think of what else to do. 

“Yeah, it’s a real shame... So I’m gonna go...” I lead off, already turning around o leave the room when I hit face-to-chest contact with someone who snuck up behind me. Blushing, I step back, only to see Hiroto smirking down at me. 

“I do like a woman who likes to experiment.” 

This time, I laugh. Mainly because I cannot believe he just said that. “You’re a pig.” I spit, pushing him to the side so I can make it out of this room with as much dignity as I came here with. God, I hated coming out. Why can’t it just be normal to be a homo.

~~~~~~

That night, I definitely called over my lady friend. An agreement of our working relationship is that we share no feelings, its just sex, but I’m so pent up with frustration I may have dominated a little more than I usually do. Which, thankfully, she doesn’t seem to mind.

Panting on the bed in my apartment, I gazing up at the ceiling, resting my head on her arm. 

“You... You really went there today.” Her breathing was just as ragged and, although her tone was light-hearted, I grew worried I had hurt or annoyed her. “No, its fine. I liked it. But, there’s something bothering you? After you won all that money, I would have thought you were buying me champagne.” She chuckles, sitting up once I did to gauge her expression and grabbing a shirt off the floor, not checking if it was hers or mine. 

“I didn’t win money.” I sighed, throwing my head back against my pillow as I spread my limbs as I far as I could. I needed a massage. I was still pissed by what the financial group’s executive said and how I was probably still going to get pushed into that situation. The bed dipped beside me as my sex friend rested her head on my chest. 

“You’re heart’s racing, but that might be because you just gave me the best orgasm I’ve ever had.” She jokes, worried but trying to keep the conversation light, and I huff a chuckle.

“I won a husband.” I didn’t mind telling her what happened today. We trusted each other with our secret and I knew she didn’t like gossip. But, I could tell my admission made her concerned when she lifted herself up on her arms and stared into my eyes. She was trying to see if their was a teasing glint in my eyes, but, alas, this was not a prank.

“Apparently, I’m the granddaughter of the late CEO and I need to marry one of the Special Executives unless the company folds. That contract I signed? A fucking marriage contract!” I growled, getting more annoyed by the second. I still hadn’t put any clothes on, the sheet draped over my lower half, but I was getting hot with anger. What kind of grandfather, not to mention CEO, makes that kind of deal?!

“That’s not legal.” Being a part of the company’s legal team, my bed buddy frowned her brows as I sat up, resting my head against the back board, keeping my gaze on the ceiling to try and stop my tears. I. Was. So. Annoyed. It took me a long time to admit to myself I liked... loved women and now I’m being pushed into a loveless marriage with a man!

“Of course it isn’t, but that’s not gonna stop Sanno’s right-hand man.” I said the title in a funny voice, which made my friend giggle, but I just sighed at my poor attempt of a joke. We’re silent for a moment, both of us in deep contemplation over the strange change of events. 

“Marry me.” She suddenly says and my gaze jerks to her. Her expression is serious, more than I’ve ever seen it, and I become increasingly aware that I am butt-ass naked. 

“Wh-What?” I blush. I’ll admit, I had more feelings for her than I should have. She’s funny, sweet and incredibly beautiful. Even though she pushes the line of what’s appropriate in the workplace, it’s light-hearted. I’ve never had a bad time with her. Not to mention how good a cook she is. How unbelievably smart. We’ve been at this for months. 6 whole months since we hooked up at the office Christmas party. But, we’ve never gone on a date. I’ve never met any of her friends, and the only time she’s met mine is when we were half naked, grinding on each other in my apartment, and they ran out seconds after they walked in. 

“Come on, MC, we both know we have a greater connection than just in the bedroom. I... I’ve loved you for a long time now, I was so scared to say it, but if we say you’re already engaged, they won’t be able to push you into anything.” She cups my cheek in her hand, her eyes growing dewy and almost childlike. I feel my own eyes grow with tears. 

“B-But that means you’ll have to come out. What about your job? If anyone knew you were gay, won’t they look down on you?” I frowned my brows, not wanting her to ruin her life for me. Although, my heart fluttered with each word she spoke. 

“My team knows, they have no problem with it. And they can’t fire me, its against the law. We’re in separate divisions, so we won’t get in trouble. I’m not scared if I’ve got you to back me.” Her gaze nervously drops for a moment, but the seriousness within them returns two-fold when we make eye contact again. I feel my face blush darkly and I gulp to try and wet my throat enough to speak without a shaky voice. “So, will you marry me?” 

“Y-Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you!” I start off quiet, but its difficult to hold in my excitement as I jump onto her, pushing my lips so fiercely against hers I would have worried I’d chip a tooth, but I was too happy. I feel vibrations of her chuckle as I clamber on top of her, my body alight with desire once again, even after the hours we went at it only moments ago. 

“You giving me newly-wed sex, now?” She sighed in pleasure as I practically ripped the top off her, hungrily kissing her neck. 

“I’m giving you everything.” I lean up to whisper in her ear before dipping down again. What followed were hours longer of exercise and love making, which I was definitely happy to have for the rest of my life. 

~~~~~~

“You’re already engaged?” Seiichiro didn’t look very impressed as I stood in front of his desk, a broad smile on my face. It was still a little embarrassing to say and, seeing as I had neither a ring on my finger or my partner beside me, it was hard to prove .Not to mention how exhausted I was when we kept each other up until morning, but I paid that no mind.

“And who is this partner of your’s? A woman, perhaps?” Likely not believing my excuse after walking out of the meeting yesterday, the acting CEO raised an eyebrow at me. 

Then, a knock came to the door and my heart fluttered. “You might want to answer that.” My smile grew and he frowned his brows, instructing the person to enter. 

There stood my beautiful bride-to-be, dressed in her sexy pant suit with a whole stack of sexy legal files tucked under her sexy arm. I might be a little biased.  She was going to help me get out of the contract. When our eyes met, my heart raced, making my face blush. She stepped forward, introducing herself as an employee of the company before bowing to our boss’s boss’s boss. 

“I would like to know how you thought you’d get away with forcing my fiancee to sign that marriage contract of your’s?” She smirked, Seiichiro’s expression faltering and my heart exploding at the word. Fiancee. Wow, I’ve never heard it sound so good. 

“You- And you- You’re-?” Seiichiro couldn’t wrap his small pee-brain around the idea and we both tried to stifle a laugh at the bewildered look on his normally stoic face. 

“Would you like me to prove it?” My fiancee- oh god I’ll never not get excited at saying that- wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close to her. Using all my self control not to jump on her right here and now, I mockingly slapped her arm, telling her how unprofessional this was. 

Before, however, she could release me, the doors the office opened once again.

“Sei, have you solved the-?” As we turn around, my soon-to-be-wife’s arms still wrapped around my waist, I see several of the men competing for my hand freeze the second they observe this scene. I blush, still as horrifically embarrassed by PDAs as I was before, but my girlfriend seems very amused, noted but the jump in her chest as she chuckles.

“You shouldn’t be looking at other marriage candidates when I’m around.” She whispered in my ear, guiding my gaze back to her with the pinch on my chin. I blush, mustering my courage to say what I want to say in front of all these eyes. 

“There’s no others.” I mumble before crashing my lips into her’s. We’re heatedly seeking each other for a moment, my fiancee maybe feeling a little possessive with her hand bunching my hair to pull me closer. Luckily, I have the wherewithal to pull back, although my breathing is a little ragged and my face is bright red as I smile sheepishly at her. 

“I think you’ll find all these documents prove intent and evidence of your crime. Oh, and if you think of firing me, I have a contract with the company that allows me to sue for wrongful termination. We’ll have a meeting at the end of the week to go over a consolidation arrangement for causing emotion harm to my fiancee. Good day, Mr Hayami.” My fiancee smiles as she hands over the papers she walked in here with and bows.

“I’ll see you at lunch.” She leans into my ear but speaks loud enough for the other’s to just about hear as she pinches my butt again, leaving with almost a skip in her step. 

“That was a lawyer from HR?” Hiroto loudly exclaimed once the door shut and probably the woman I’ve ever loved most is no longer here. I’m almost caught in a daze remembering how strong she just acted to save me. 

“Why am I not surprised you knew that?” Junta sighs, obviously not happy with this turn in events as I shake the sinful thoughts out of my head. God, I love her. 

Turning back to Seiichiro, who’s leisurely sifting through the files my fiancee gave him, I watch the scowl etched in his face cut deeper. He sighs, mutters something under his breath, and pulls what I’m sure is my marriage contract out of his top desk drawer. “You can marry anyone you please, it won’t impede the soundness of the company or pile a mountain of debt over you.” I can hear him crying internally at being bested as he tears the contract in two.

“Thank you, sir! I’m very grateful!” I bow lowly, too overjoyed to notice how ticked off most of the men in the room are. 

After that day, I’m very open with my relationship. Yamato and Ren warm to my fiancee very well, although it seems like a purely professional relationship. Yumi and Arisa, mainly Arisa, are more than happy to help me plan the wedding- seeing as they’ll be a big part in it- and we have a small destination wedding thanks to my inheritance money. I’m more than happy, I don’t know a word to describe it. Our careers are going well and neither of us want kids just yet, but in time. I’m just so happy I could marry the person I love being the real me.

~~~~~~

This turned out way cuter than I expected it to, but I am SO here for it lol. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I’d love to hear your thoughts!

[almondmilkygay]

I present to you; Reddie: Obsession.

Richie was in a mess. A beautiful, disastrous mess. He lay, lifeless - on the cold wooden floorboards of Stanley Uris' bedroom. His hands were clasped together and laying against his chest, as it moved steadily up and down.

"Rich-" Stan called, but the boy seemed to ignore him, "Oi! Richie!"

Richie finally, mentally woke up and blinked quickly.

"What..?" He said slowly, "Yeah..?"

"Stop thinking about Eddie, for Christ's sake,"

"Aren't you supposed to be Jewish?" Richie asked blankly. Stan wasn't lying though. Edward Frank Kaspbrak. The only boy, in Richie's eyes. Richie had been pining for months on end, and only now it was beginning to take over.

"Richie.." Stan replied seriously, rolling over to lie on his stomach, "You're pining again dude.."

"Go fuck Bill.." Richie slurred in reply, covering his face with his hands, "I can't get that sexy little hypochondriac off my mind."

"Well you're going to have to," Stan pointed out, though a light shade of pink now himself, "We're meeting up with The Losers later at The Quarry."

"Fuuuck.." Richie droned sulkily. The Quarry. Where Eddie would be parading around in painfully short, short shorts, "Why's it gotta be Summer..?"

"That's the way seasons work, Rich,"

"Didn't require a snarky response, Urine,"

Stanley kicked him from the place he lay on the bed. Despite Richie's constant grumbling, he couldn't have been more excited to go to The Quarry. Alas, it seemed as if his hormones had taken over at last. It was going to happen at some point.

At The Quarry, the sun was painfully bright - this being expected for a Summer day in Derry. The rays bounced off of the water below the cliff and reflected on the masses of rock. The Losers Club came prepared, Beverly with a pair of sunglasses for everybody, Bill with cans of soda and Mike with fruit tarts he'd made from the orchard. Eddie didn't bring anything, but his ass was gift enough for Richie.

Eddie and Beverly lay side by side on a checkered picnic blanket, while Bill and Stan sat opposite each other - leaning on a large boulder the both of them. Mike and Ben sat on the small patch of cool grass, located in the minimal shade of The Quarry. Richie sat alone on the edge of the cliff, kicking his feet backwards and forwards and watching as small bits of gravel and rubble fell down to the ground and created subtle ripples in the water. The sound of Beverly chugging a water bottle echoed throughout the area. Eddie - slightly perturbed by her noises, stood to his feet and took a seat next to Richie.

Richie's eyes widened for a moment as a small pair of slightly tanned legs lay next to his, panic tracing his body - desperately thinking of something snarky to say.

"Hey shortie," Was all he could come up with, but it was enough to make Eddie kick him.

"Five foot is not short, dumbass.." Eddie muttered, looking the lanky boy next to him up and down, "You lanky fuck."

Richie laughed heartily.

"Oh, Eds you wound me!" He laughed, feigning pain and clutching at his heart.

"Good.." Eddie giggled, flicking Richie's forearm with his finger. Oh, how hard Richie had to try to conceal his richie. The two almost fell of the cliff as hands grabbed their shoulders.

"Oi, ladies!" Beverly's voice said. The two swiveled around awkwardly and saw Bev's face watching them, "We're gonna play a game, you wan' in?"

"I'm in if Eds is in," Richie said, watching Eddie through the corner of his eye. The small boy sighed deeply, a wide smile breaking his face.

"Guess you're in then!" Eddie said, jumping to his feet, "See ya later, alligator.."

"In a while, crocodile." Richie responded, chuckling. Eddie's favourite phrase - warmed his heart when somebody responded correctly, so Richie did so. Finally, Richie stood to his feet and walked over to join the rest of The Losers Club. Beverly had instructed them to form a circle, and they did so. The bottle she had been swigging sat precariously in the middle of the group. Slowly, Richie pieced together what was occurring before his eyes.

"Ringwald, no.." He said slowly, though taking a seat himself, "We're all dudes.."

"Exactly, Tozier," She winked, taking a seat herself and hanging her head over the bottle, "You Losers ready?"

Everyone grumbled but responded nonetheless. With a single flick off her wrist, Beverly spun the bottle. It toppled, toppled until finally landing - facing Bill and Stan. Stan turned an obvious shade of red and Bill's eyes snapped from the bottle, to Stan, and finally to the bottle again.

"W-We d-don't have t-to.." Bill spat, to which Bev tutted.

"Pussies.." She breathed. Stan shot her a glare before leaning forward slightly.

"It's okay.." Stan comforted Bill gently, and he lent in too. The two locked lips, and Richie snorted obnoxiously when the kiss exceeded four seconds. Stan coughed loudly when they completed their task, and spun the bottle quickly - with all of his might. Stan's plan worked as the bottle landed on Richie. Richie rolled his eyes and looked up to see a rosy cheeked Eddie opposite from him.

"As fuckin' if.." He replied snidely. Bev kicked her foot at him.

"Come on, Tozier. You ain't no pussy.."

"I ain't no pussy, but I'm not-"

"What, gay? Neither are Billiam and Stanski," Bev pointed out. Richie could see Eddie becoming exasperated.

"Fuck it, Rich. Let's just do it," Eddie sighed, still red and struggling to keep his cool.

"But Eds,"

"Pucker up, you pussy," Eddie spat, quite unlike him. Richie sighed and scooched slightly closer to the boy in front of him. The two sat close for quite a few minutes, before Richie let his care go out of the window and sealed the gap between them. At first, it was awkward and subtle. That was, until the two boys got into it. Richie's hand made his way up the back of Eddie's neck and Eddie's made it to Richie's hair. Only Mike giving a firm cough drew the two away from each other, where Bev cussed under her breath.

Richie was now the pink one, and Eddie's face faded as he took a puff of his inhaler - old habits die hard, I guess.

"Mike.." Beverly whined, holding each syllable, "Why..?"

Richie was coughing now, a large lump gathered in the back of his throat. The Losers stayed at The Quarry for about half an hour after those shenanigans, Eddie ushered Richie aside as he was going to begin heading home.

"Hi, Eds. What's up?" Asked a still slightly flustered Richie. Eddie scoffed.

"Don't play dumb with me, Tozier," Eddie replied briskly, "Let's finish what we started,"

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Ready for the truth

Summary: Can you do one where growing up Richie and the reader were best friends and she’s the into one he told about him like sling Eddie and when they come back to fight pennywise he sees her instead of penny wise threatening to tell his secret and so he becomes distant with her until she confronts him and he tells her what he saw and she says she would never tell unless he’s ready

‘At least I got Richie to stay’, Ben proudly announces, resting his hands on his hips with a pleased smile on his face.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Richie wanted to leave, but I took care of it.’

Bev and you eyed each other suspiciously, quirking up on eyebrow, and stating in unison; ‘he’s making a runner for it.’

Ben deflates, his best not good enough to convince Richie to fight alongside his closest friends, but you had a pretty good inkling why. Your own experience with Pennywise has you tempting to scramble your things and run for the horizon, but it also made you face facts. Leaving would undoubtedly result in the death of your friends, already one man down by the absence of Stan.

You wished Stan was here, as he was always the one who knew exactly what to say to get Richie out of stupor, but you’ll just have to do.

Back in the summer of 1989, Richie pretended to be scared of clowns, but you knew better. The way his gaze lingered on Eddie a tad too long to play off for laughs, the overdramatic flairs he faked all in the will of a second longer of Eddie’s attention, or the extreme force in which he produced jokes about his libido and all the girls that asked him out on dates. Those were the signs that tipped you off, but anyone who hung around the losers club long enough could tell that Richie’s feelings stretched a lot further than platonic. And vice versa, though Eddie seemed even more oblivious to the heart eyes he made when Richie did something extremely annoying, or funny, or sweet. Longing for each other was basically a day long task.

You’re sure the other losers caught on eventually as well, but you’re also sure that you’re the only loser Richie ever spilled his secret too. Best friends from birth, there wasn’t much you and Richie hid from each other, not even the gross stuff, and secrets were well known facts between the two of you. After Richie’s confession though, things got tense quickly. A heaviness surrounded Richie, and any time you so much as breathed in Eddie’s direction, all the muscles in Richie’s body would tense up, a fight or flight instinct, in case of you tattling on him.

Of course, there was never a hesitation to you that this was going to be kept under locks, per Richie’s request, and you tried to convince Richie of that, but you still felt deep down his trust for you crumpled away, despite not having done anything to justify that. It lasted for two years, until you packed your stuff for college and bid adieu to everyone remaining in Derry; Stan, Richie and Mike.

Returning as an adult brought back the once unbreakable bond forged, and you hoped it was because Richie shed the mantel of doubt around him and had come out. Alas, because the way he reacted around Eddie was no different from all those years ago, the big secret was still secured in a titanium vault, and no improvement was made on the insecurity level. The fortune cookies attacking on it’s own was enough prove of that.

‘Hey Eddie.’

‘The rest of us are fine too Richard, thank you very much.’

Come to think of it, maybe the eye that attacked him was his fear manifesting, every part of him being truly seen is a terrifying idea to anyone, let alone Richie.

Clowns might make Richie Squamish, but there was nothing  that terrified him more than being outed, and Pennywise is sure to exploit that.

You run down two flights at a time, dashing towards the parking lot and Richie’s car, an expensive car that cost more than your apartment and clothes combined.

Your suspicious were confirmed, Richie yanking on the car door handle, his hand trembling so much that the keys slip through the cracks of his fingers and drop down to the floor. You swoop in, fishing them of the ground and dangling them in front of Richie.

‘Where do you think you’re going?’

Richie grimaces, gripping back the keys from your hand, huffing when you refuse to let go of them.

‘Home, where no killer clown can stalk and kill me. You should do the same.’ His voice is so bland, unlike the Richie you once knew who had the talent to melt different accents and emotions in one pot and challenged you to guess them apart.

You step back, dragging the keys with you and slicing a cut in Richie’s hand on accident, on the opposite hand Bill’s slice was inflicted on.

‘Sorry’, you say instantly, holding them behind your back so there’s no way Richie can steal them.

‘Give me back my fucking keys’, Richie barks, whipping his hand on his leather jacket but refusing to inspect the wound.

‘Excuse me, I don’t know what I did to warrant such a reaction but holy moly Rich, I’m your best friend. Don’t ever disregard me in that way. Can we talk before you decide to get out of here?’

The fire in Richie eyes burns down, but doesn’t answer your question, holding out his hand so you can drop the keys in it.

‘Fucking are you? My best friend?’

You blanch, stepping back once more, the words feeling like a physical slap to the face. ‘I am. Richie I watched you every step of the way until Pennywise stole our memories. Where is this coming from?’

Richie sighs defeated, his hand pressing hard on his eye sockets under his glasses, and he takes one shuddering breath in that is a forebode of crying. Instantly, you drop your defensive attitude and slide an arm around his shoulder, actions working better with Richie then words.

‘What’s going on? You can tell me, you know I’ll listen and do my best to fix it okay?’

‘Yeah you’ll do anything but curse right?’

‘Let it go man, let it go.’

‘No, did you know there’s a movie now, Captain America and he says something like ‘Langue’, because someone else is cursing. That’s you Y/N.’

‘Is it about Eddie? You were stalling again.’ You ask, waiting for the inevitable denial and change of subject, but instead Richie nods his head.

‘Kinda. I guess.’

You nudge him softly, smiling encouragingly to let him know that it’s alright to let everything out he has to say, you’ll never hate him for it.

‘It was you, Pennywise used you to intimidate me.’

A woozy feeling crashes over you, the car serving as something to upright you with. The idea that you’re one of the people to cause the fear in Richie making you wish Pennywise would steal this memory.

‘Me? You’re scared of me?’

‘No, not you. Okay yes. I’m just scared of all the fucking things you know about me.’

It dawns on you that of course Pennywise saw you as Richie’s weakness, a person Richie trust, mostly, only to crush him with abhorrent words and actions.

‘Because I know you’re in love with Eddie?’

‘Not anymore’, Richie weakly adds, but the words lack conviction. ‘You said you told Eddie what a vile monster I am, warning him to stay away from me. Everyone heard about it from Eddie and the internet starting trending about me and I lost everything. Eddie, you, the rest of the losers, my job.’

Richie’s lip snarls up, throwing his head back and staring at the skyline filled with clouds. It’s crazy to think that a town so foal and loathsome still has it’s good spots too. Richie identifies with that, describing himself as someone with a beautiful outer shell, and a rotten inside that ruins anything he touches.

‘I would never ever tell Eddie about this. Or anyone for that matter. Richie, I know we’re all a tight nit group, but you’re my best friend. The person I held on to the longest after leaving. I love you in the most platonic way possible. For the record, if you told Eddie how much you care for him, he’ll reciprocate, but you’re scared and you don’t want to do that and I respect that. This is what Pennywise is aiming for. Us splitting up or being scared of each other. Don’t let him win.’

You elongate as high as you can, balancing on your tip toes to be at the same length as Richie’s sight. It’s a stretch, but Richie helps you by lowering his gaze.

‘I won’t say anything. I’ll do anything to make you believe me. I’ll do another blood oath with you on our other hand? you’ve already got the mark down.’

Richie laughs, ‘Don’t be such an idiot.’

‘Than stop being so paranoid about me. I love you for who you are Rich. A gay, goofy idiot.’

Richie sniffles, embracing you in a tight hug. ‘Thanks’, he murmurs, his entire body trembling in jitters. ‘Now can we please ignore this conversation ever took place?’

‘Are you ready to go back inside?’

Richie stares one more long, elaborated second at the sky and back to his car, and then agrees.

[wildshub]

WHO: The Twilight of Adams WHAT: The boys head over to the cliff to turn on the repaired radio, hoping to get into contact with someone who can rescue them.  WHEN: Day 2 NOTE: For future reference.

Callum Callum would rather hike to the cliff and back with broken legs twenty times over than do it once with all of the other boys from the plane. Between two of the boys having to be carried and Warren teaching them all a song about how English was his favorite subject the entire way there, the Canadian felt thisclose to offing himself. The only thing keeping Callum from doing so was knowing that when they reached the cliff, they could finally turn the radio on. The radio that was now all fixed thanks to Jorts and JJ. “Yo, hey!” He called out to Sebastian when he first caught a glimpse of the boy and the fire they'd started. “They fixed the antenna. Let’s get this thing going." He practically yanked Warren off of Blue's back and dragged him over to Sebastian once they reached their destination. Not even bothering to ask Warren if he could touch his bag, Callum unzipped it and got the radio out, showing it off to Sebastian like it was the Stanley fucking Cup. "The twerps fucking did it."

Sebastian Sebastian could have waved at Callum, he could have given him any more of a greeting than the simple nod of acknowledgement that he did but he wasn't trying to be hella gay or anything, so alas, he remained fairly static. "Shit, you're kidding me," he found it hard to believe that Jorts could accomplish anything other than being chronically annoying but he didn't say that, instead he allowed himself to relish in the feeling of success, as limited as it was. "Wait, wait, wait, before we go too crazy, we need a strat," he instructed with his hands out in front of him, warning the other boys. "You said we've got limited battery on this thing- we don't want to waste it stuttering like idiots. We need to know how we're gonna handle the frequency and we need to know what we're gonna say and we need to know it by heart before we even touch that on button,"

Lukas "Yo, the fuck, dude, " Lukas objected half-assed-ly as he witnessed Callum pull Warren from Blue's back and basically dragged him over to Sebastian and the fire like they were about to sacrifice the Nordic cripple. Though he'd stuck towards the back of the group the hike up, now shit seemed to be happening he pushed the pace to catch up. Nudging Blue on the arm as he passed, he asked " You good? " with raised brow, referencing the bullshit Callum was on. But he didn't linger long, making his way to Thing 1 and Thing 2 but on steroids before they ruined his whole day of work on that stupid radio. " Bro, just because you couldn't even think to turn the thing on doesn't make the rest of us Stephen Hawking or whatever the fuck, " He said, announcing his presence with dry tone. He cast a glance to Warren, just to make sure the fucker hadn't lost a leg in the last thirty seconds thanks to Callum and his island famous manners. " If we're lucky, and, really fucking stupid lucky, " he was trying his best to be serious but even with his best efforts he still sounded kind of like he was taking the piss, " the frequency hasn't moved far from whatever channel it was on to begin with. But, it was in the ocean, " and Callum basically dry humped it all night, " so chances aren't looking too hot. Whatever we say it's gotta be short enough that we can say it, wait a few seconds on that channel for response, then move on without wasting a fuckload of battery. "

Sawyer With an extra hundred-and-some pounds on Sawyer’s back, the hike up the cliff had been a bitch on his ankle. But it was considerably less damage than Liam would’ve done if he’d tried to climb up on his own – and Lord knew they needed all the manpower they could get if they were stuck here any longer than a couple nights. After letting him down, Sawyer wandered over to where the rest of the group had congregated, clapping Canada on the shoulder and standing on his tiptoes to get a good look at the radio. "Shame we can't tap into a police frequency," he said. That would be his first try if a radio happened to wash up onshore with its batteries still intact. "How about our plane number, the number of guys stranded here, and, uh...shit, to bring us some fuckin' life rafts or somethin'."

Liam while liam was extremely grateful that sawyer offered to carry him up to the cliff, he couldn't help the feeling of guilt the entire way. he may be the shortest guy out of the group, but he was still pretty stocky and muscular. lukas probably weighed less than him. but thankfully they made it and the other boy let him down, liam hopping a few times before getting steady on his feet, making sure to not put too much pressure on his bad leg. "does anyone remember the plane number?" he spoke up, feeling like he was going to be shot with a bunch of sass from the meaner members of the group. "but uh, yeah, definitely say how many of us are here..."

Blue blue nodded in response as people check in on him, and he didnt mind shooing them off but the truth was carrying warren was tiring. he leaned against a tree, catching his breath while watching the others regroup, rallying around the radio. "is there like....a global mayday code?" his words came between breaths, occassionally glsncing around. "how many of us are injured too maybe....?"

Callum Callum shrugged the Hick's hand off of his shoulder, shooting him a clear dude, the fuck? look. "Who even remembers a plane number?" He pointed out. "Does anyone know it?" A question for the rest of the huddle. "Number of guys is good. And the injured thing too." He gave Blue props in the form of a nod for that. "But global mayday code? So like what, 911?" Nothing else came to mind.

Sebastian Sebastian listened to the others, some more carefully than others. "I don't think we need to waste time talking about who's injured and who's not, nobody's dying and they'll figure it out when they get there," he suggested, though the number of people in need of rescue was definitely worth mentioning. "Nah, 911 is just the U.S. bro, there's another one for international emergencies but that's on cell phones. Radios are a whole different ball game, it doesn't work like a dial-in service"

Liam liam froze for a second as everyone started talking over each other to figure out the best way to go about this. he always had a bad habit of freezing in stressful situations, and this was about as stressful as it could get. but after some talk about 911, he tried to find his voice and speak up. "i'm pretty sure you just say, like, mayday three times or something. the other people will figure it out. you don't need a code. at least that's what they do in movies."

Lukas Lukas didn't know why telling whoever might be listening how many were injured was necessary at all but maybe they would edit before the decided on a final message. For the most part he stayed quiet (shockingly) while ideas were thrown around, just watching the two meatheads with the radio. Afraid they might get a little too riled up and break the thing, like he hadn't been basically tossing it around that very morning. He didn't know the flight number, even though his mother had said it a million and one times just yesterday, but Lukas did know an international mayday code. " Like, SOS? " He asked, looking to the group, surely these dumb motherfuckers didn't mean that and not be able to think of it. " That's the international distress code, " or if it wasn't technically, at least anyone on a boat or plane out there would know what the fuck it was.

Blue as he sat beside his pal liam, he listened in, but looked to sky like he'd see a helicoptor and could say nevermind to all this. "so..sos, uh...what 9 stranded...mayday?" it wasnt like he expected his word to make an impact but he has hoped he could organize all this before having to carry warren back down.

Sawyer Sawyer feigned hurt when Callum shrugged his hand off, rolling his lips together to stifle a chuckle when he looked away again. He couldn’t see shit with everyone huddled together like this, so he opted to step back from the group and poke a rock around with his toe. “It don’t work like a GPS,” he interjected, “so nobody’s gonna know what the hell we’re talkin’ about if we just go in with a stress signal. Flight number’s our best bet of being located, with the name of the island we were s'posed to land on second.”

Sebastian Sebastian found himself getting increasingly frustrated with the group he'd unfortunately become a part of by way of disaster. "That's a fucking morse code distress signal- not a stress signal and it's for when you don't have a radio, this is different," his voice became a little harsher as he continued. "Yes, you say mayday, we got that part sorted, okay, we need to tune into a frequency so that we're actually saying it to somebody that can actually do something about our situation and not some fucking ninety year old ham radio loser in Iowa trying to make a friend," he explained. "-but you're right. We need flight number or anybody with a unique enough name. I'm Sebastian Claude Sergeant," he announced, though he wasn't convinced it was unique enough. "Blue, Dash- those your legal names? You're probably our best bet if so unless your last names are Smith,"

Sawyer Sawyer raised his hand, still kicking a rock around. "I got a criminal record."

Warren For once, this conversation got interesting to him. He turned to Sawyer. "That's sexy. For what?"

Sebastian Sebastian turned to Sawyer suddenly at the revelation, "What the fuck?" perhaps it was the suddenness of the statement or perhaps it was the fact itself but either way, it had surprised Sebastian in that moment. "Okay, you're out, nobody's coming for you," he decided, as if a criminal record immediately made Sawyer disposable, regardless of what it was for. "Shut up, Von Trapp, now is not the time," he spat at Warren a moment later, "Names, who has a good one," he reminded the group.

Blue blue was ready to responde but hearing sebastian's full name caught him off guard. "word? ok. blue barrowcliffe. legal name." he offered an understanding look to sawyer, not based on shared experience but moreso on wanting sawyer to feel alright. unless he murdered someone.

Sawyer "Hotwirin' a 1500," he replied, winking and clicking his tongue. "Meanin'~" Sawyer spun around on his foot. "They can legally look me up in state records. You got state records in your name, Claude?"

Liam liam's eyes widened when sawyer say that out of nowhere. of course that annoyed sebastian and the two went at each other. liam just looked down at his feet and mumbled to himself, "i do." not that anyone asked him. but he just hated how heated everything was getting and wasn't really thinking.

Sebastian Sebastian did not, for a second like being referred to by his middle name, especially not with such a facetious fucking tone from Deliverance. "Yeah, cowboy, I got a birth certificate, a social security number, enrollment in school, my car is registered, I've got medical records- do you want me to continue, genius?" he asked bitterly before Liam piped up. "You do what, bro? If you've got something to say, use your words,"

Lukas " It's a radio thing, dude, " Lukas said, mainly just to be contrary to Sebastian but he was also fairly certain he was right. He snorted a laugh when Sebastian revealed his middle name, but didn't risk saying anything about it. The snort was enough to let Gigantor know that it sounded fucking stupid. Looking to Sawyer when he revealed his criminal record, he didn't think now was the time to bring up his own. And plus, high school drug dealing didn't really compare to auto theft. But, it was still a good idea. " Yo, that's smart. " He complimented, though Liam's confession was far more surprising. Unlike Sebastian he could put together context clues. " A criminal record? Does it beat auto theft? " He asked, not really able to imagine short king doing anything besides maybe some smoking. " I'm thinking it's between Big Blue and GTA right now, " no one cares what you're thinking, Lukas.

Liam he looked up when sebastian addressed him, not realizing anyone heard him. "nothing," he said quietly, deciding to stay quiet for the rest of the time.

Callum "Okay, so... fuck." He shook his head, keeping up with that entire exchange made his brain feel like mush. "We'll use Blue's name, mention how many of us are here and... shit,  really does no one remember the plane number?"

Blue blues proximity allowed him another front row view to liam’s emotions and he gave him a soft pat on the back. while he hadn’t wanted to rock claude’s boat, he felt protective to the guys he was so critical of. "hey, we're getting sidetracked. let’s agree on a message and get home. I domt know the plane number or the pilot’s name.....what fucking company even set this retreat up?"

Liam "no, it does," he said to lukas when he asked, feeling like he was just wasting everyone's time anytime he spoke. he glanced over to blue and gave him a small smile when he tried to comfort him. "it was the twilight of adam," he remembers because his lawyer kept repeating it to the judge as if it was some church thing to rehabilitate him.

Warren Warren was never one for idle moments. He was the type of person who hated being still for too long. Nothing bored him like conversations that seemed to go nowhere. He was a person of action. The only way he could tolerate another minute of these boys not recalling information and sharing their gay middle names was if he was drunk, and unfortunately, there was not a drop of Dom Perignon Brut in him. He sighed. "Okay, you know what–" He had a lot of energy saved up from being carried up here. He could do this. He hopped over and snatched the radio out of Callum's hands, making quick work of getting away by prancing over to the ledge where he knew everyone would be careful around him. He turned the radio on. "Mayday, mayday, 911, this is Blue Cliffebarrel, I'm on an unknown island with 15 other boys and one of us have a criminal record, over."

Lukas Maybe they all should have expected Warren to be the one to cause trouble, but it certainly surprised Lukas when he made a grab for the radio, succeeded, and then hobbled away to the edge of the cliff before anyone could do anything about it. " What the fuck, " he reacted, more statement than question but it quickly got more heated when the cripple started talking " Dude! " He raced over, though Warren's plan worked and he slowed down when he got close to the edge. " Did you not hear any of that shit about the battery? " He snatched the walkie out of his hands, feeling a lot better now he had it rather than Warren or either of the Hulk impersonators. " And none of that even made any fucking sense, if anyone heard that they're just gonna think we're some idiot kids fucking around. " He said irritably, turning the thing back off. Too be fair, they were some idiot kids but he thought they were trying their best not to fuck around.

Sebastian  Sebastian's patience had been wearing thing, needless to say. Not that it had been particularly in tact even before the other boys had started squawking at each other. When Warren snatched the radio, however, regardless of his precarious position, Sebastian launched. "Are you fucking kidding me? Do you want to fucking die today? You said nothing- nothing of any value and nobody understands your goddamn hurdy durdy bullshit anyway," his was easily the most offensive of all the accents on the island in Sebastian's firm opinion. He couldn't believe he was in agreement with Jorts but for the first and perhaps the last time, Jorts was right, this was not the time to fuck around and he was glad the radio was turned off again. "Thank you" he offered the smaller boy genuinely, slightly relieved that the radio was seemingly in the hands of somebody that was taking this shit seriously now.

Warren "I said everything you all were talking about," Warren launched into his own defense as the walkie was snatched away from him. " Did I miss anything?" He asked the group, not waiting around for their answers. "I didn't miss a beat!" And then of course, Sebastian had to go off on him because if he didn't go off on someone every hour, his penis would shrink in size and that clearly couldn't happen. "Oh fuck off, Claude. Je m'en fous, frère. Coller l'antenne dans ton cul! Vous vous sentirez mieux."

Sawyer Right. Sawyer didn't speak French, but those sounded enough like fighting words for him to step between Claudia and the angry little Swedish man, putting a sizable distance between them. "Yeah, alright, oui oui. Last thing we need is to start fightin' with each other, so let's just...re-calibrate. Curly can take it from here, yeah?"

Sebastian Sebastian squared his shoulders at Warren's squealing, "Yeah you missed the part where you did anything fucking useful- Barrel-cliff, are you fucking kidding me?" he had registered it the first time but reminded of the mistake, he fired up all over again. Then came yet another Claude jab, "Call me Claude one more fucking time, I dare you, I'll hit you so goddamn hard you'll have to learn to speak French without teeth," he warned, whether Warren was on the cliff or not didn't matter much to Sebastian when his patience was being tested. He inhaled sharply at Sawyer's advice and nodded his head, "Yeah," he agreed, cracking the knuckles of one hand in his palm, "Back to square one,"

Lukas Ask him an hour ago if Lukas ever thought him and Sebastian would be on the same side of an argument Lukas would have made a fart noise in response. But now look at them, Lukas was having to hold back another Claude comment after he was thanked. Hyper aware of the cliff edge seeing as Claude was basically shaking Warren over it he took a few steps back towards the group and the fire. " Yeah, " He confirmed, looking up when Sawyer spoke. He actually didn't want this responsibility but he did not trust any of these idiots with it, not even the idiots he liked, so it had to fall to him. " So, " he started, running over all the suggestions from before Warren's interjection in his head. " Mayday, flight number, Twilight of Adam. How many of us there are, and a name they can look up easily. " He listed the things off, counting them on his fingers and conveniently leaving out the ones he thought were dumb. " That it? " He asked the group, letting it sit for a beat before he brought up the point Callum had just before. " Does anyone have any idea of the flight number? " Because he sure as fuck didn't.

JJ with all the bickering in the air, Jacob got lost in thought trying to figure out if the geographical landmarks of the island could tell him any more of their current location. Other than tropical and approaching rain season, he didn’t seem to notice much else. It wasn’t until Lukas had presented the questions again that his mind was pulled back to reality. “Private hire Boeing 12596...” he replied calmly. “Fifteen survivors. Heading through South-West links. Jacob Sanders, that’s my name. Plane crashed roughly two hours and fourty minutes from the expected arrival time to Hawaii. If the pilot flew the right route, they should be able to find us.” He said all he had to say and left the others to decide what to do with it. Of course, he felt he knew a better way to do so but did not want to be met with Sebastians anger issues, Warrents utter imbecility or anyone else’s need for explanations.

Sebastian Sebastian pointed at JJ and clicked his fingers, "That's it- fucking perfect- almost. A few changes- you're gonna say you're Blue Barrowcliffe, Canadian national- and make sure you mention that the plane went down. Private hire Boeing- whatever- down," he corrected, "Don't waste time we don't have," he justified a moment later.

Warren Warren rolled his eyes at all of Sebastian's threats. Hagrid didn't scare him one bit. He made faces behind Stumbo the Giant's back as JJ swooped in to save the day, doing his best to stay standing on his good foot as he listened in. He supposed what JJ said was far better than what he'd come up with. He didn't like how Sebastian seemed to be happy about it. He was going to do something to change that. "Are we sure we don't want to go with Sebastian Claude Sergeant? Because I would cross oceans in seconds just to see what kind of person that gay ass name belongs to."

Sebastian If it wasn't clear that Sebastian had had enough of Warren by now, the look on his face after his most recent comment would surely make it clear, even to NASA. He spun around to face the male and wrapped his hand around his neck firmly, "Good idea, I'll throw you across the fucking ocean to show you what kind of person I am," he suggested savagely, tugging ruthlessly at the other boy's throat as he got in close to his face.

Warren "Not really my kink but choking is close. Do it harder," Warren gasped out, grinning like an idiot as his face grew red.

Sawyer Their brief moment of triumph was quickly overshadowed by Sebastian’s short temper, and none of them were currently in the position to weather that storm. Sawyer acted on reflex, reaching out to grip Sebastian’s shoulder in a feeble attempt to pull him away from Warren and the edge of the cliff they were standing on. “Woah woah, hey - fuck, man, enough, you’re gonna kill him!”

Lukas Thank God JJ had enough braincells to make up for the rest of this sorry gang of misfits. Lukas felt a wave of relief wash over him as JJ was able to answer all the questions he had and without being an absolute moron about it. " Boeing 12596, heading through South-West links, " he repeated those details, nodding as he tried to commit them to memory. But on top of that, JJ had been calm about most things so far, approaching everything with reason, so it made Lukas think he'd be the least likely to stumble under pressure. Plus, JJ was probably the only person besides himself that he didn't need to watch like a hawk with the radio. " Alright, do you wann– " he starts to offer the radio, but before he can finish Gigantor and the Nordic cripple were having at it. " What the fuck, " he uttered for the third time in about five minutes, looking over at the interaction but with the radio still in hand he made no move to get between them like Sawyer did. Even in the weird circumstances an abrupt laugh escaped him at Warren's gasped comment. Then he looked to Callum, probably one of the only guys in the group that had any chance of taking on Sebastian. " You wanna fucking get control of your buddy there? " He raised his brows and tilted head towards the situation aka Warren getting murked and liking it.

Sebastian Sebastian stumbled back with hands on his shoulders but he didn't take Sawyer's words as a warning, "Then I'd be doing everybody a goddamn favor," he shot back, it didn't seem like a bad thing if the loudmouth European took a plunge off the edge of this conveniently placed cliff if it meant he didn't take any more shots at fucking up their plans for survival...or call him Claude again. He shrugged Sawyer's grip off of him but it didn't do much to ease his hostility toward Warren who was pressing just about every button Sebastian had at this point.

Callum Callum was fixated on the radio. He just wanted everyone to shut the fuck up so JJ could turn that thing on and spout all the information they took forever to agree on already. But then Warren. The fucking invalid idiot just couldn't keep his mouth shut. He sighed, moving away from JJ to assist Sawyer in deescalating the situation. "Yo, hey, Sebastian-" His concern for the situation grew when the Hick was shrugged off and the pressure around Warren's neck didn't ease. "Hey! C'mon!" He grabbed onto Sebastian's shoulders and pulled, hoping a more aggressive approach would make a difference.

Warren Warren was suffering. But he was also: thriving. Seeing the anger on Sebastian's face brought him joy like you would not believe. It was the only fun he's had on this island so far. "Is this all you got, Claude? Did Daddy not show you how it's done? You have to do it like this-" His hands left their position over Sebastian's, moving to grip Claude's neck with his own fingers.

Sebastian It was the name, it was the mention of his father, it was the shit-eating grin on Warren's face. Sebastian was immediately seeing red again and no amount of 'hey come on's from any of the other boys was enough for him to simmer down. "You wanna lose this fucking hand?" he asked, gripping onto the other boy's wrist still with Warren's  hand wrapped around, "Try it, I fucking dare you, see what happens,"

JJ He was mildly amused by the situation at hand. He found Sebastian’s irrational anger to Warrens imbecilic digs to be a waste of time and energy. Perhaps neither of them were aware just how important energy was in situations such as these, where the distance between them and their next meal was unknown and so was the distance between them and the rescue. Trying to speed the situation up, he’ll take the radio over from Lukas and move aside from the dick measuring contest. He adjusts the antenna until he can hear out the clear static. “Mayday, mayday” he will repeat, hoping the channel would pass through their call for help. “Maybe we could..” he skips through different channels, trying his best to find something intelligible, in any language. “We should get higher.”

Radio "92.1–" Static noises.

Lukas Unlike JJ, even preoccupied by the radio, Lukas was growing increasingly concerned about the whole Warren and Sebastian situation. Maybe if they weren't so close to a cliff, he wouldn't be so concerned– but then again Dash's words about Sebastian being their very own General Zaroff came to mind. His attention snapped back to JJ and the radio when the radio seemed to spurt something out, though it was hard to hear. " Did that just say something? " He asked looking back up at JJ, maybe he'd watched Ghost Adventures too many fucking times and was just making himself hear shit in the static. He nodded in agreement at the idea of getting higher, their makeshift antenna needed all the help it could get. Though, he couldn't leave without saying anything. " You think they're good? Like Sawyer and Callum probably have it handled, right? " He asked, glancing to the group by the cliff and then back to JJ, once again asking him for some reassurance that they weren't all gonna die here.

Sawyer Sawyer’s gaze flickered between the two groups of boys, spine stiffening as the radio whirred and crackled to life. That was it—that light at the end of the tunnel they were all so desperately chasing after. It was too fucking close for them to turn their backs on it now. He shot an urgent look at Callum, tilting his head toward Sebastian as if to say, fucking pull him off.

JJ With Lukas' attention dancing between the radio and the bikini contest, JJ focused entirely on quickly securing the antenna further using the string coming off his sleeve. As the static started coming through he could feel his body buzz with surprise and he'll press the button to the right. "Mayday, Mayday, Boeing 12596 coming through, do you copy?" he releases the button to allow the other side to process and continues to walk further up the hill, unsure if the change of location was actually helping the process or if they would have had a better chance sticking to the coast. "Come on..." he says, turning towards the group. "We might have something."

Callum The radio! It was obvious to anyone what Callum cared about more. Honestly, would it be the worst thing if Sebastian crushed Warren's windpipes? They could use all the quiet they could get to hear that thing. "Sebastian, come on, quit it-" He hooked an arm over Sebastian and leaned back, hoping his weight and the force would successfully separate the two. "Yo, Texas! A hand!"

Warren Warren has never been so close to death before. And he's taken a dangerous cocktail of party favors with nothing but a shot of absinth in his stomach once before. "Come on, Daddy Claude! Harder! Show me how you do it back home!" He laughed maniacally.

Sebastian That was the last straw, or maybe it was the laugh, or maybe Sebastian was just over tired but he wasn't fucking around anymore and without a moment more of hesitation he threw his weight into a punch that connected seamlessly with the other boy's face.

Sawyer “Jesus Christ,” Sawyer muttered beneath his breath; the first time he’d ever considered calling for God to help them escape from this apocalyptic hellhole. He hadn’t been quick enough to grab Sebastian’s arm before it reeled back, releasing with a sharp punch that caused a crack so loud it sent chills down Sawyer’s spine. He did, however, have the sense to grab Warren’s arm and yank him forward—at least enough to keep him from plummeting to his early death. “Alright, we need to cool it. Now.”

Lukas Okay, so, JJ's non-response didn't fucking settle Lukas' nerves at all. So instead he simply had to focus on the radio, the yelling all getting a little too fucking real for him real quickly. When he suggested moving, Lukas followed, though not without casting a glance over his shoulder to catch the argument getting more and more heated by the second. When a fist connected with Warren's face, Lukas was shocked. Not that Sebastian had hit someone, that was fairly predictable, but just at the whole fucking situation. " Yo, we gotta fucking get to someone before Gigantor fucking kills him. " He said, not bothering to hide the growing panic, turning back to JJ and continuing to follow him further up the hill. Using the ideal of not witnessing a death on top of all the trauma of surviving a plane crash to focus him on helping with the radio.

JJ He would have continued walking as he was and expecting everyone to fall in line. Once again, as per usual, he was let down by the sheer lack of ability some humans possessed to prioritise. Looking over his shoulder, he witnesses the argument, teasing and pinning had now gotten much too real and he'll stop in his tracks, passing the radio over to Lukas before heading back for the group. For the first time, he will approach Sebastian directly. His voice remains calm, almost quiet. "If you walk front of the line, you won't be able to hear the next thing coming out his mouth. Come on, radio is buzzing." he'll give Warren a look filled with pity, uncontrollably so and with the same tone he'll not even bother to check if the others head was still in place. "You walk the back of the line. Your leg is fucked enough." with a sigh, he'll look over at everyone else. "Everyone good? Can we keep moving?" they still had to reach the peak and walk all the way back before the sun sets. Otherwise, they might have just made a fatal mistake.

Warren Warren spat, a spatter of red and enamel on the ground when he did so. "Fuck..." Coughing, he gripped onto Sawyer to stay standing. He accidentally put weight on his bad foot in the middle of the chaos he'd started, so in addition to his mouth throbbing from the impact of Sebastian's fist, his leg now twinged with pain too. "He started it..." Warren had the audacity to say, holding onto to Sawyer a little tighter in anticipation for how Sebastian would react to that.

Sebastian Sebastian looked at the male with pure and utter disdain at how pathetic he looked and sounded. "-and I'll finish it too, don't think I won't," he barked in response, more than happy to give him another smack to even out the bruising on each side.

Callum Callum clapped a hand over Sebastian's shoulder. "Stop. C'mon, man." He was tired. He just wanted to get to the fucking peak like JJ said and try to reach out to someone. This shit, whatever was going on between Sebastian and Warren, it was a pointless waste of time.

Sawyer Normally, Sawyer liked to think of himself as the one with his head screwed on (somewhat) straight in times of disarray, but the calm coldness of JJ’s voice as he addressed the other boys was eerie—even to him. He stumbled a little as Warren shifted his weight into Sawyer’s side, looking down to see splatters of blood painted across his own white undershirt. Shit. He’d just bought this one for the trip, too. “Yeah, nah, JJ’s right. We’re done with all...this.”

Lukas The next couple seconds happen way too fast for Lukas to process in the moment. One second, he'd handed off the radio duty to JJ and the next JJ was successfully pulling the two that were fighting (if you could call what Warren was doing fighting back,) apart and seemingly ending the commotion. He was paused on the hill, watching it all unfold, but after a second another unintentional chuckle tumbled from his lips. " Are y'all done? " He called out to the group by the cliff, amusement on his tongue and shit eating grin back on his features as if he hadn't been scared shitless moments ago. " 'Cause we actually got fucking signal on this mother fucker, " He said enthusiastically, holding up the walkie in celebratory manner. A small and probably shit attempt to stop another fight from breaking out any second.

Sebastian Sebastian raised his hands, though there was a self-satisfied smugness coloring his features that made it obvious that he was pretty pleased with himself, despite the blood shed- or perhaps because of it. "I'm done," he announced plainly, happy for all things to be said and done as long as Warren didn't dare open his fat mouth again, at least for another half an hour or so. He wiped his hand on his shorts, whether it was spit or blood he didn't know, nor did he care, "So we're high enough to get a signal, now we need to find a better channel, right- is that what we're saying?"

Lukas Okay was it just Lukas or were he and Sebastian actually getting along? Nothing brings people together like almost murdering and almost witnessing murder. " Pretty much, " Lukas confirmed, though it was mainly just an assumption. His radio knowledge was still relatively basic, even after rebuilding this one with JJ. " We're gonna go a little higher, see if it can get any clearer. 'Cause while you guys were jacking each other off or whatever, " he had to make a joke, even dismissively, he couldn't actually acknowledge what he had just witnessed " I swear to God, this thing said something. " He insisted, though he hadn't actually caught what it had said in the moment.  " So let's go, " he said, turning on his heel and returning to the mission of getting a bit higher before anyone could get back to the murder.

Sawyer The snort that escaped Sawyer after Curly’s little dig was entirely involuntary, but also entirely deserved. He was just glad he didn’t have to be an accessory to murder today—that’d be a hard one to explain to his parole officer when he got home. With a final, mournful sigh for his dirtied, bloodied shirt, he chucked the thing off over his head and handed it to Warren. “For the bleeding, Bateman.” Sawyer clapped his hands together. “Now let’s get the fuck outta here.”

Warren "Thank you, Yeehaw." His lips pushed into whatever form of a smile he could manage. Warren bunched up the shirt and pressed it to his mouth, giving Sebastian a nasty glance as he did so.

Callum "Alright." Callum clapped his hands together, glad JJ was able to settle the commotion. "Let's fucking do this." He was more than ready to put this dumb shit behind them for the sake of accomplishing what they actually came to do today. He jogged up to Jort's side, wanting to be up close to the action in case the thing crackled to life again.

Lukas As the group continued up the hill, Lukas returned his attention to the radio. Turning it back on, he adjusts the antenna until he's satisfied with the static settling and speaks into the machine. " Mayday, mayday. This is Blue Barrowcliffe, one of fifteen survivors of flight Boeing 12596. Do you copy? " It felt completely silly to say he was Blue, the Canadian that looked literally nothing like his scrawny New Jerseyan self, but aside from JJ he didn't know if he could trust any of these guys with the radio. " I repeat, fifteen survivors of flight Boeing 12596, " he said the numbers slowly and clearly, if someone heard them the numbers would be their saving grace. " Do you copy? "

Sebastian Sebastian could hardly fucking believe that Jorts had actually managed to stick to the script, he'd nailed it. "Canadian- say you're Canadian," he reminded Lukas, waving his hand a little with encouragement as he listened carefully to the static on the other end of the radio device, praying that words in any language came from it- even one of the languages Von Trapp spoke would do. "Keep going," he insisted, his heart in his throat as he awaited a response from somebody with the potential to save their sorry asses.

Radio Lengthy static noises. "Ha-" Static noises. "Gehen-" Static noises. "Liest du-" Static noises. "-nächsten hafen." Static.

Sawyer The excitement was palpable now, eyes lighting up and heads perking with hope. Sawyer grasped the shoulder of the boy nearest to him and shook it, laughing. “Fuckin’ A, we got a fuckin’ German!”

Liam liam stood off to the side as everything went down. his hand flying up to over his own mouth as he watched the altercation between sebastian and warren, but the last thing he was going to do was step in between them and end up in the same position because sebastian redirects his rage to him. but finally lukas can get a message out. static and a few broken words that he couldn’t understand, heart sinking when sawyer announces that it’s a german. “does anyone know german?” he asks, looking around at the others.

Blue blue hadnt said much during the saga, other than an extremely confused "why the hell did i have to carry him" when warren zoomed into chaos at a speed blue's exhausted mind and body couldnt keep up to. he sat away from the drama, and while he would normally intervene to save morale but his body seemed glued to ground. hearing his name echoed by the others tothe radio, he imagined his parents and his sister, and a lump in his throat had to be swallowed down, tears avoided for now. as the confrontation got more violent, blue rested his head between his knees, fighting sleep or panic, the yelling and tension a little too intense of a reminder of...her. he resumed his role helping the injured, though more resentkful of helping mr instigator. "warren......youre swiss, eh? dont your people speak like swiss french and german? what'd they say, man?"

Lukas Lukas is about to tell Sebastian that he doesn't even sound Canadian, not even a little bit, and that saying he was would be kind of fucking stupid when the radio spattered to life in his hands. He looked down at it, amazed. After half a second of awe at his own handiwork he tried moving the antenna and pushed himself to move up the hill faster to help get rid of the static. Sawyer picked up on the language before he did and he glanced over his shoulder at the rest of the group. He sort of had his toes crossed for JJ to come through again, even if his behaviour was a little unsettling– but then Blue addressed the European. And while he was probably their best chance, Lukas wasn't feeling especially eager to let him have the radio again. " Anyone else? " He asked, looking around the group and avoiding the now toothless Nordic cripple. " Don't need to be fluent, just enough to say we need help. "

Dash Dash watched the entire shitshow with varying degrees of amusement and disturbance. Initially he didn’t see much point in following everyone up the hill, like, logically speaking, mostly because didn’t know jack about radios or distress signals or even their flight number. But he did want to be there if they made contact with anyone. So he ambled up near the back of the line, and spent the first few minutes of the hike looking at a cloud in the shape of Marge Simpson’s head, glad that Lukas and JJ seemed to have things covered on the radio front. Douchebag Callum was there too or whatever, he guessed, and Sebastian came through, even if he took his roid rage to the max and punched Eurotrash in the mug over a couple gay jokes. Dash’s lip curled at the blood spat out on the ground. He didn’t really vibe with all the sadistic shit, and he’d take bets that the little guy had half a chub through the whole thing. “Nein, bro,” Dash shook his head. He had maybe a handful of phrases in Spanish and Tagalog in his repertoire at max. And if any anxious fact stuck with him, it was that the battery was on its last legs, so he glanced toward JJ in hopes he could step in ASAP.  He reminded Dash of a guy he went to elementary school with who learned those wack languages from Lord of the Rings for fun and hid under desks to hiss at people as they walked by. Surely he knew some German. “American public schools kinda fell off with the whole foreign language thing.”

JJ As the radio went on, he tried his best to decipher what was being said. His German was rusty at best, mostly based on old philosophical texts he picked up at college. Extending his hand to get the radio back, he’ll rub the top of his brow as he recalls the words. “Hilfe, Hilfe! D-das ist Jacob Sanders. Fünfzehn Menschen am Leben. Privatflugzeug Boeing 12596 kaputt. Wir brauchen hilfe.” He knew the German was butchered, but he believed he’d said the most important things in the process. “Hallo? Kopierst du?” He’ll shift the radio around, trying his best to get the signal.

Warren Warren was tired. His mouth hurt. On top of losing a tooth, one other in his mouth felt loose and he hated it. He didn't really care that they'd made it to the peak, leaving the business of getting into contact with help to whoever had a hard-on for talking to strangers in the group – Mister Moley Man and the smart one. They seemed to have it figured out and he really needed to pee. Besides, with the space at the peak much smaller than where they were before and everyone so excited about it, he felt as though he'd be caught up through overhearing while he tried to take a piss where he was at the back of the group. He was halfway done with his leak when he heard German, making him turn on instinct and accidentally getting piss on shoes. "Agh, nein–" Two quick shakes and he pulled his track pants back up, hopping over to the front. With his bad leg, he had to touch some shoulders on the way so he wouldn't fall over. What the boys didn't know wouldn't hurt them. "Du sprichst Deutsch?" He asked the smart one as he hobbled up. Schlecht, but he left that in his head. Stretching out his hand, he opened and closed his fist a couple of times, asking for the device.

Sawyer Sawyer held up a finger and thumb. "S'German, actually."

Sebastian Sebastian rolled his eyes at the budding discourse, "Which is the same thing- moving on. What did they say?" he gathered the gist of what JJ had relayed back, he's a lesbian, the private flight number, uh whatever else- it didn't matter, Sebastian was pretty sure he'd pretty much stuck to the script. "Does that mean we're near Germany or a country that speaks German? What countries outside of Germany speak German?" he couldn't think of a single one that wasn't landlocked or anything but tropical- no freakin' way they were near Western Europe.

Sawyer Sawyer just looked at him like he felt even worse for him than he did when they found out his middle name was Claude. "Dude."

Dash Dash pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek to fight back a fleeting grin at Sawyer’s emphatic dude. “I dunno dick about who’s speaking German other than the Krauts, but could be a passing ship, right? Maybe we’re in international waters or some shit.”

JJ He looks at Warren and his eyes wonder for a moment if the other is genuinely fluent or just proceeding to be a more persistent human equivalent of hpv. “I speak limited amount.” he answers honestly as Sebastian proceeds to throw in a question which would by all metrics be considered dumb if it wasn’t somewhat valid. Before he can answer, Dash adds to it a more plausible explanation and he’ll nod. “German speaking countries are Germany, Austria, Belgium and Luxembourg. German is also an official language in Switzerland and Liechtenstein, but it sounds different. It is highly unlikely we’re close to any of those...” his eyes now on Dash. “It may very well be the case. Any other ideas?”

Liam watched as everyone silently as they freaked out over who may or may not speak german. his anxiety rising with each moment as their chances of rescue started to lessen the more they used up the battery of the radio. he stayed away from the group, off to the side and pulled out his tech deck out of his pocket and started spinning one of the wheels anxiously to try and calm himself down.

Sawyer "Maybe," Sawyer said, leaning in close to the other boys like he was about to tell a secret, "the operator's just bilingual."

Warren "I live in Switzerland, I speak German," he told JJ. To emphasize his point, he stretched out his hand more blatantly. "Give it to me. Or do you want to stay on this island forever?"

JJ Instinctively JJ will look over at Lukas as if to get some type of blessing or permission to pass the radio to the village idiot. Still, he didn’t have any real ownership of the thing so he stretched his hand out, anxiety rising. He was almost certain the other would either send off a message too ridiculous for the other end to decipher or fully throw the thing on the floor just to get his other leg broken and bleed out in the woods. “Go on then. Careful with the antenna...”

Joe Joe's initial relief at hearing a voice on the other side of the radio was dimming as Henry Bowsers but hopefully redeemable starting asking irrelevant questions that made no sense."Pinky's right it's probably a ship. There's no way there's no way there's a hermit nearby that just happens to hack into radio signals." Who the fuck still used radios besides sailors and boy wonder (not that JJ counted he seemed to have swallow an encyclopedia) ? Watching boy wonder hand over the walkietalkie to Warren was an extremely nerve wracking experience."Be careful Warren."

Lukas With only a couple Hebrew words along with his questionable at best English skills Lukas was mainly sitting this conversation out. If it could be called a conversation, mainly it just felt like a lot of bullshit but what else was new on this island. When Warren revealed he could speak German, and they all kind of knew that because of the song he'd sung on the way up the hill, Lukas had to grimace. It was their best chance, so he gave a small nod to JJ as it was passed over. " Remember, flight Boeing 12596. " Again he said the numbers slowly, fingers and toes crossed old gap tooth wouldnt fuck them all over.

Warren Finally, Warren thought as the radio came into contact with his hand. "Danke, wunderkind." That was so drawn out and dramatic. It's not like he's done anything crazy with the radio before. He hopped over and lifted a hand, swatting it in the group's general direction to settle their apparent nerves. Then he pressed the transmit button spoke. "Ja hallo? Kannst du mich hören? Wir sind auf einer Insel gestrandet. Wir brauchen deine Hilfe."

Radio Static noises. "kannst du-" Static noises.

Lukas It's like watching a toddler handle a bomb, Lukas is just waiting for it to fuck them all up big time. But somehow, it doesn't. Not yet at least. He doesn't hear anything that sounds like numbers come out of Warren's mouth but he also knew literally no German at all. When the radio responded he raised his brows, as if the two words the voice said could possibly mean anything useful. " What's going on? Do we need to go higher still? " He asked, because he was like 65% certain the voice had been cut off by the static.

Warren For once, Warren was invested. He shook the walkie slightly and held it against his ear. Then he spoke into it again, thumb on the transmit button. "Ja? Hallo? Hallo? Kannst du mich hören?" He hopped forward a little, perhaps needing to get a little higher. "Yeah, I think so," he answered Lukas. It was a shame. They were at the peak already. But the edge had a slight lift so Warren was going to take the chance. "Hallo?" He tried again. He heard some static, some response in German before the walkie went dead suddenly. "Shit." He shook the thing. Perhaps a little too vigorously. "Hallo??" He turned on the foot he was balancing. "I think it– Ahh!" The ground beneath him crumbled. Warren slipped. Quickly, he used grabbed onto whatever of the edge he could, releasing the walkie from his grasp to do. "Help! Help!"

Sebastian Sebastian had his arms folded tightly across his chest to keep them at bay as he listened to the chatted shift from person to person. It seemed as if everybody had something to say but nobody was saying anything useful to the situation. "We might just be in a dead zone, I mean look at this place- who knows where the next tower is," he explained, worried that there wouldn't be another radio tower or any man-made structure for hundreds and hundreds of miles from where they stood. He heard the crumbling rock before he truly registered what had happened and as the walkie hit the ground, Sebastian reacted to try and catch it, though his efforts were thwarted at the last moment, his attention divided by Warren's shrieking. "Fuck, Warren!" the words spilled from his mouth as he stumbled as close to the edge of the cliff as he could without risking another rockfall. "Bro-" he looked back at the other guys over his shoulder, "What the fuck- do something!" he practically squealed.

Lukas When Warren moved past the bulk of the group, so did Lukas. Eyes on that radio. He really did not think he was gonna care so much about it. " Hey! " He reacted when Warren fucking shook the thing, as if it wasn't already fucking precarious. Moving towards him, more to take the radio off him than pull him away from the edge of the cliff– but then the fucking dude took a dive off it. " Holy shit, " Lukas moved quickly when he fell, he thought he cared about the radio but he didn't even notice Warren had dropped it yet. Instead falling to his knees, scraping skin since the alterations he'd made that morning. Leaning over the edge he reached out his hand to Warren, holding onto stable ground as best as he could, but he was still a fraction too far away. " Grab my fucking hand, dude! "

Sawyer "Fuck-" Disaster struck in such quick succession: the radio, the crumbling peak, Warren--Sawyer's heart fell to his stomach with such force, he felt like he was about to shit it out of his asshole. He raced to the edge of the cliff, grabbing onto Lukas's free arm. "Pull him up, I'll anchor you!"

Sebastian Sebastian's breath caught in his lungs at the sight. Ten minutes ago he'd wanted to slay Warren where he stood and now, the thought of the other male plummeting to his death right before him made Sebastian want to throw up. "Grab his arm, grab each other's arms, lock in," he insisted, certain that Jorts' clammy ass hands were going to just help Warren fall to his death quicker than ever. "Fuck it- grab me," he insisted, wiping his hand and arm on his shirt before grabbing Warren's forearm firmly.

JJ All he could think about was the exact impossibility of seeing the radio again and for a second he thought about stepping on Warrens hand to push him off with it. As he paused to think, the others jumped to help, and he offered a hand to yeh guys as they moved into action. The stability of the cliff was unknown at this point and a dangerous place to be placing weight so he tried his best to focus on the situation at hand as opposed to possible catastrophe.

Warren Sebastian? Sebastian wanted to help him? Warren knew now wasn't the time to be picky. Beggars couldn't be choosers after all when their arms were aching and they were hanging off a cliff. He pictured his 8th grade English teacher's cleavage one last time before throwing all caution to the wind and letting go of his grip on the ledge to hold onto to Sebastian's arm for dear life.

Sawyer The harder Sebastian pulled, the more unstable the ground became. Sawyer's pulse rocketed, heartbeat thundering in his ears as earth crumbled from the very edges of the cliff Warren was dangling from. He whipped around to face the rest of the group--all frozen in various stages of shock and panic--eyes wild: "Guys--"

Dash Dash saw it all happen in slow motion. Warren turned on his foot, then plummeted. One second he was there and in the next he was dangling from the edge like some kind of Wiley Coyote bit. Dash stood frozen, panic seizing his chest. In what world was he equipped for this shit? “Are you fucking kidding me?” he asked no one particular, his voice inching up high and reedy with shaky incredulity. He watched as Sebastian, then Lukas, and finally JJ leapt forward to help. “What the cucking shitfuck this is so fucking fucked.” It was Sawyer’s panicky voice that made him take a step forward, half-wondering if he ought to grab a hold of the back of Lukas’ shirt as some kind of useless backup for a second before he finally did it. “Guys — Jesus, the whole thing’s gonna come down.” But what was the alternative? Letting Warren eat shit and die?

Lukas Lukas was willing to admit (to himself) he was fucking grateful Gigantor joined him on the edge of the cliff. Lukas Skinny Arms Tozer was gonna have no hope of pulling Warren up on his own though he actually hadn't thought of that in the moment. He thought he nearly felt his stomach fall out his asshole when Warren made the move to cling to Sebastian's arm. Feeling a tightness on the back of his shirt he took that as a cue to move again, pushing himself back up, on his feet but still crouched by Sebastian and the dangling Swiss. Glancing over his shoulder to see it was Dash that pulled him up, see Lukas knew he got good vibes off that dude. He'd give a proper thanks later but for now he gave an out of breath nod before he looked back to Sebastian. " You got him? " He asked, barely allowing time for an answer before he's looking back to Dash, Sawyer and anyone else that was braving the cliff edge. " Let's pull them up. " He said, trying not to think about the the precarious cliff face everyone was so desperate to point out.

Callum This was all too fucking insane. How was Warren in a near death situation for the second time that day? Not wanting to deal with a dead body on top of trying to survive on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere, Callum dove headfirst into the chaos, grabbing onto Dash to give him support because there was no way this skinny fucker could realistically help Warren, Sebastian and Jorts. "Pull 'em up, pull 'em up!" He urged, mentally preparing himself for the energy he was about to exert.

Dash Dash nodded back once toward Lukas and if his thoughts weren’t too preoccupied with the fact that they were all surely about to plummet to their deaths, he might’ve twisted around and mocked Callum’s deep, booming pUlL ‘eM uP pUlL ‘eM uP to his face. The guy’s hand gripped tightly to Dash’s arm though, pretty effectively making extra sure to keep that petty, poorly timed instinct in check—and probably ensuring that he didn’t full-on Kermit over the edge of the cliff, too. Fuckin’ jocks. Dash gritted his teeth; he didn’t know if it was in his head or not, but the ground felt shaky under his feet. He dug his heels in and used his other hand to grab hold of Lukas’ arm to create some kind of human chain, his breath coming fast and shallow, and did his damned best to keep their skulls intact.

Sebastian Sebastian's heart was in his throat as Warren grabbed onto his arms, his grip pinching the skin though he was far, far too drenched in adrenaline to notice the pain. "Come on, come on," he bellowed, urging the other boys to give it all they had, lest both he and Warren tumble over the edge and into the rocky waters below. At least it would be a quick death, he supposed.

JJ Several things have happened in a span of seconds that JJ could not process. First, Warren hanging off a suspiciously strong cliff. Second, Sebastian of all people putting his ass on the like to save the other. He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming. If maybe all the years of shit sleep had caught up to him and he was now stuck in some hallucination limbo making shit up. Either way, he didn’t say anything, he balanced his weight and pulled onto the guy in front of him and prayed to God and Saints and whoever might have been listening, for this to be over soon. — He was still pissed about the radio, pissed that he’d even passed it to the other, pissed that there was no way now to make his phone work either. Not without the parts he used for the antenna.

Liam liam watched in horror as warren grabbed the radio, babbling into it before eventually stepping off the cliff. in the split second between him falling and everyone snapping into action, liam actually though he had falling to his death. and with most things since the crash, he froze yet again. but a second later, he shoved his toy back into his pocket and ran over to everyone else. which he later realized was a bad idea because pain was shooting up his leg as he grabbed on to one of the other guys to help pull the kid up. thankfully the stress of it all, he was able to ignore his own leg and focus on getting warren back on to solid ground.

Blue everything appeared to blue in flashes, the group heading up the cliff, and the chaos when the cliff crumbled. he watched the other spring into action, and took a deep breath to pump himself up. "Get him! Is he okay" He pulled on whatever body parts or clothes he could to help the others, blue felt the solidarity that he felt with his teammates back home. "Is the radio grabbable?" he was sweating, panting, and the desperation was coursing through everyone it seemed. "Save warren. Get the radio. Save Warren. Get the radio." He chanted to himself, pulling along with the rest of the group. "Save. Warren. Get. The. Radio."

Warren With everyone pitching in to help him, it seemed that Warren would live to see another day. His body was yanked up and onto solid ground again thanks to the efforts of Arsch mit Ohren and the rest of the boys hanging onto him. The second he felt firm rock below him, he wriggled as best he as he could past the boys to further in, wanting desperately to put as much distance between himself and ledge as possible. When he felt it was safe, he dropped to the ground and rolled onto his back to stare at the orange sky above. "Heilige Scheiß..." He was breathless, chest heaving up and down rapidly. Never in his life has he felt such a rush. It was a terrible thing to think about but he wondered how much 'near death experiences' would sell for. Thrill seekers like him would surely pay a hefty price. What Warren really should have been thinking about though was the radio, and how it was no longer in his hand and probably in a million little pieces hundreds of feet below them or lost to the waves of the ocean. He had yet to recall the reality he and the boys were in and how dire it was that they got into contact with someone.

Sawyer Sawyer fell back with the rest of the boys into a sweaty, adrenaline-clouded heap, wincing at the harsh impact of solid rock against his elbow. Nobody dared speak for those first fragile seconds, as though the silence was a crumbling cliff and puncturing it with words would cause it all to come tumbling down. This wasn't a game anymore. The isle was no longer a midpoint in their journey, a pit stop on the way to a boys' retreat in Hawaii; it was a living, breathing thing, with the power to swallow any of them whole at a moment's notice. He rolled to his side, dog tags clinking together as he let out a shaky breath: "the radio...fuck are we gonna do now without the radio?"

JJ He falls back and for a moment he just sits there in silence with the rest of them. He will then get back to his feet, wipe his hands and dust his trousers and look over at Sawyer having considered the exact question throughout the conundrum. “Nothing to do. It’s gone, it’s done.” all they could do now is hope that the Germans or whoever the fuck, heard their message and was on the way. Regardless, the sun began to set so he pointed towards the downhill path. “We should head back before it gets dark...”

Lukas Relief of not having to witness Warren's death washed over him, for the second time that day. But it only lasted a moment. Pulling himself free of the cluster of boys that had pulled him back up off the cliff face, he moved back towards the edge, looking over it in hopes of seeing the walkie on a ledge or something. Perfectly in tact and working a dream, ideally. But nothing. All that fucking hard work, and for fucking nothing. He turns back to the group, eyes landing on the culprit and any relief that he was alive long gone. " You fucking moron, fuck's sake, " If Warren had managed to stand before Lukas turned around, he absolutely would have shoved the bastard. Not over the cliff, but at least back to the ground. Seeing as he was still down, Lukas tried to not let the anger build. JJ, who with each passing moment seemed to be closer and closer to having the emotional complexity of Chucky the fucking Doll, made a good point. They should head back before it gets dark. Seeing as he was already up, he offered his hand to help up the guy closest to him (and who was not Warren).

Blue blue accepted lukas' hand, grateful for any assistance the guys had to give. "thank you." his tone was somber, torn between gratitude for jort's work with the radio, and like the others devastation for what they lost. "im sorry." a reflex more than a habit, a conditioning she taught him. the thought of spending another night was unappealing, and with each hour the fantasy of this being a camping trip was disappearing. he moved towards the front of the group. "alright, we did good. I know this wasnt the outcome we wanted, but their was some macgyver inspector gadget shit that was amazing...and out teamwork pulling a man up. Thats the kind of trust we gotta lean into......carry the injured and lets head back. Warren, when your concussion or whatever gets better, we NEED you to tell us what they said."

Dash Gravity proved itself to be a bitch not once, but twice. Warren luckily managed to get back up from the side of the cliff face, but once the tension of holding tightly and pulling released, Dash fell back and into Paul fuckin’ Bunyan behind him. Even with the air knocked out of lungs, he managed to release a hybrid relieved-slash-disbelieving laugh after a moment's silence when any rescue mission for the radio was declared null and void. Because what the fuck. He hoped his elbow at least got one of Callum’s soft spots as he struggled to his feet, clasping onto Lukas’ hand as soon as he let go of Blue’s. “Well that was a total shitshow.” And like, who knew what the lederhosen-looking dickhead was telling the Fuehrer over the line? The u-boats could’ve been well on their way to haul them to some undisclosed lab by morning. He cracked the knuckles of his right hand, his limbs left a little shaky post-adrenaline rush, and shook his head. With a sharp exhale, he edged away from the sudden drop. His heart racketed just looking where Warren had been clinging on. “Yeah, yeah, down before dark, but what’s the punishment for the high crime of nuking what was probably our one chance at direct communication, man?” In a half-assed attempt at fairness, he tacked on: “I know he didn’t like, spike it on purpose here, but.” Cue: womp womp. “Be real. Are we or are we not totally fucked?”

JJ The corner of his lip lifts slightly as Dash asks what the punishment is for the accidental crime of losing their best chance out of this Island. It’s not that he found it particularly amusing, it’s just that he thought punishment was rather obvious. “The punishment is being stuck here.” He will reply simply. “What impacts one of us - impacts us all.” It’s time we start acting like it, he thinks as he shoots a look towards Warren and Sebastian and then down to his hands. “One fucks up, we all fucked up.” Trying to remain positive he will face Dash and start walking further from the edge of the cliff. “Perhaps whoever’s on the other side has got our message. We’ve only been here for little over a day so it’s also possible the search party separate from the radio is underway. We should stick to the beach for now, keep the fire going...as of right now —“ with the radio gone “it’s the best option.”

[stuck-in-hawkins]

When He Left: Chapter 1 October 28th, 1993

Stranger Things Fanfic: Byeler

Rated: Teen and Up

Summary: Will looked back to see Mike at the gate, his forced smile starting to crumble. Will had managed to get the chance of a lifetime: a scholarship to an arts college in California. He would be there among the monster makers of the movie industry. He was pursuing his dream, but what was he giving up in exchange?

It has been four years since Will left Hawkins. Everybody went in their own separate directions. But it has been 10 years since the Gate opened and Will's nightmares are getting worse. So, the party reunites and old feelings ignite.

link to read on ao3

October 28th, 1993

Will felt the sunlight across his face and opened his eyes. The covers were insulating the heat from him and the man laying beside him. That thick mop of black hair, the curvature of his tan back. Will reached out and traced the muscles beneath.

Ishaan stirred. Will thought, “Don’t wake up, don’t wake up.” He laid perfectly still. But alas, the man turned over and looked at Will, still groggy but the blanket of sleep quickly wearing off.

Will spoke softly, “Sorry I woke you. I was just gonna make breakfast.”

The man looked away and mumbled, “I have to get to work.”

There it was. The shame. Ishaan was a flame that Will seemed to keep flying back to. He was exactly his type. Tall, beautiful, and incapable of committing to a relationship. They were drawn to each other.

Ishaan was still very much in the closet. But he would come to clubs. He loved that Will had this quiet, inviting exterior. He’d actually told him this. That Will was safe. He wasn’t “that” gay. That he could pass as straight.

Ishaan had no idea about Will’s occasional drag nights.

Ishaan grabbed his clothes quickly with a speed Will had become familiar with. Will had hoped he could open Ishaan’s eyes, and help him learn to love and accept himself for who he was. But when the morning light came, so did the shame. Will embodied all the things Ishaan didn’t want to face and he would put as much distance between him as he could.

Will put on his pj bottoms and walked down the hallway in time to see Ishaan throw on his jacket.

“Ishaan.”

Eye contact.

“Someday, I’d love to have breakfast with you.”

Will could see him try to swallow a lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry, Will.” He opened the door and walked out.

Will padded his way to the kitchen, and opened the fridge, looking at the eggs and bacon sitting inside. He felt deflated. He could feel a familiar tug, trying to pull him back to bed so that he could curl under the covers. But he knew that if he did that, he’d lose the day. And it seemed like a beautiful one to waste. He turned to the window and cranked the handle, opening them. The air was fresh and warmed from the sun.

Will brought out the eggs, bacon, toast, and butter. He’d remembered feeling the same way Ishaan had. He remembered when he first came to the city in college and kept his identity confined to the night. He used to have a similar elitism, trying to separate himself from gay men that seemed especially feminine, doing anything he could to distance himself from the stereotypes that plagued his sexuality. But going to group helped with that. He opened his mind to become more accepting. He even experimented in his identity and found freedom in the exploration.

He cracked the egg into a bowl. Ishaan hadn’t wanted to go to any of the groups Will recommended. He was in denial. He picked up another egg. He thought, 'You're just something he craves.'

Crack.

“Damnit.” He’d gotten eggshells in the mix. He picked them out. Will was beginning to realize that it would take a lot of soul searching for Ishaan to accept himself. Something Will couldn’t help him with. How long would it take? How many more mornings did he have to watch him run out the door?

Will turned on the stove and let the butter simmer while he whisked the eggs together. Dustin’s words rang in his head.

‘You deserve to be more than someone’s secret.’ Dustin didn’t mince words but he was right. And it just seemed like Will was always drawn to the type that didn’t want to come out.

He heard a door open. Dustin groggily walked in from the hallway. “You are a Godsend. Is that eggs I smell?”

Will smiled. “And bacon will be next.”

“Screw all these other guys. Marry me.”

“Pretty sure there are some terms and conditions you wouldn’t be up for there.”

“Forget them. I’ll do all the butt stuff. Just make me eggs every day.”

Will threw the dish towel at him.

Dustin got the grounds out and started making coffee. “Your man-friend still here?”

Will shook his head.

“That’s too bad. He’s missing out on an awesome breakfast.” He smiled, “And some great company.”

Will smirked. He loved living with Dustin.

___________________________

After breakfast Will got ready for work. It was Sunday and he knew he didn’t have to go in, but he needed a reason to get out of the flat. He didn’t want to sit alone, pining for Ishaan. Will could feel that it was ending. It was a transition that he’d done before. It felt all too familiar but still hurt.

The worst part was seeing them months later, out, proud, and in a relationship. He’d be happy for them, but then he’d wonder. Why hadn’t it been with him? Why wasn’t he enough? Why did it seem like they only changed after he left?

But then, again, he knew that wasn’t always true. There were guys that never came out. Like Hartford, who had a wife and kids that were completely unaware of his Friday escapades. Dating him, being his side piece, was a low point for Will.

And then of course…. There had also been Mike.

‘Nope,’ Will thought. He shut down that train of thought and brought out his sketchbook. He needed to distract himself with a project. Studio time helped with that. After all this time, he still had a weakness with Mike. He’d made his peace with pretty much every guy after. But with him, there was a tenderness that had never faded. And if he thought about Mike when he was like this, in the throes of rejection, he’d fall to pieces.

He grabbed his headphones out of his bag as the Metro carried him across town to his stop. These days, his Walkman turned mostly Sonic Youth albums. Today it was Dreamnation. He got off and headed to The WereHouse.

It was a prop house popular among the independent filmmakers and even the occasional large studio. It was owned by two brothers. One ran the historical prop store, located in another part of town. That shop was mostly a gallery of antiques from all different periods, some originals, some reproductions. That had been where Will had gotten his start, running around thrift stores, estate sales, and antique shops trying to find period correct pieces for their inventory.

But when his boss saw Will’s sketchbook, he got transferred to The WereHouse. The other brother’s creative dungeon of fantasy, sci-fi, and horror props and prosthetics. Will was living his dream, getting to make monsters for movies. Though… most of his work consisted of prop dummies that ended up being burned, buried, or otherwise mutilated. Some weeks were spent meticulously painting disembodied limbs, fingers, and heads. Occasionally larger more creative opportunities arose, like the one he was working on now.

The whole project was very hush hush. When studios put out work like this, they were looking for more than monsters: they were looking for talent. Will was pouring in extra hours because getting this deal would mean he’d be part of something big. It wouldn’t just be low cost props for independent filmmakers. They’d have the backing of a studio. It meant potentially being a part of the next blockbuster.

He could be responsible for the next Xenomorph. The idea was both terrifying and elating. As a result, he spent most of his days either drawing or sculpting with the occasional break to eat and sleep. But it took his mind off of the trials and failures of his love life.

He opened the door and nodded to Anderson, who manned the reception desk. He was currently nose deep in the novel, Dune.

Will walked through the vestibule, where some of the past projects were displayed and made his way through the giant room with shelves scraping the ceiling. One row consisted of nothing but body parts: From whole limbs and torsos to severed fingers and toes. On another row, there was a treasure trove of cursed objects: elvish daggers, cauldrons of all different sizes, stitched leather books, crystals of every color.

Will remembered how awestruck he was the first time he came here… well, honestly for the few months. Now, it was just a part of his life. He’d still get these moments of “I can’t believe I’m working my dream job.” But it had become his new norm. He wished the whole party could see it. Dustin had completely lost his shit when he saw it. But they were the only two of the party in Burbank.

Not for long, though. Lucas was nearly finished his last year in the Navy, and Dustin had been pulling every string he could to make sure Lucas got a position as an engineer at the company he worked for, AECOM. Max has been living with her dad on the coast the past few years. Despite being in the same state, she was still about five hours away. Once Lucas was back on shore, there was a chance of them getting back together and her moving closer. But she had that software job and it was more likely Lucas would move up to her.

Over the years, Will had tried to convince Mike to come over to the coast, to get out of Hawkins. Maybe if the rest of them were together, that would be enough to change his mind.

Will walked into the studio, a large space lined with workbenches and cork boards. Mannequins, busts, and chairs for prosthetics and monster makeup were scattered around the room. And the whole space smelled of curing latex, acrylic paint, and plasticine clay. He sat down at the spot reserved for him, that had pictures tacked up as inspiration, along with a multitude of sketches. And there on the bench was a little model, about a foot high, that he had been carving out and tweaking all week. This was the 3rd version.

The studio was looking to create a new kind of monster. Normally, the producer or director would give some parameters of guidelines. But this one was an open book, which meant it was an audition of sorts. Will looked at his board.

In truth, it wasn’t the monster that was terrifying. It was the world the writer built, the atmosphere the director created. The actors, who made the audience care about the characters on the screen. Even the best monster design could be undone with poor timing, shoddy lighting, or terrible acting. They were all vital components of the final product. Once the audience cared about the world, about the characters, they would become invested. Will’s mind began to ponder.

The scariest parts about everything he experienced was the fear of losing it all. Of never seeing his mom, brother, or friends again. Of being alone at the end. Nothing had been more terrifying than losing himself to the mind flayer. To feel his words and body being driven by another. The most terrifying monsters were the ones that you didn’t see. The ones that transformed characters you loved from human to monster.

Will took pictures of his miniature model as it was. He always did before destroying it. Then, he squished the sculpted figure, wedged the clay back into a ball. From there he began the shaping of a human figure. But he arched the back, as if the body was fighting against itself. Where the spine was, legs that were like spiders but out of bone emerged. The muscle tearing at itself, reattaching to the new limbs. The most frightening monster was the one you watched yourself become.

Art was cathartic. It was how he processed everything. It was what got him through the worst parts of college. It gave him power and strength. He had control over his nightmares now. He could create them and destroy them with his own two hands.

In so many ways, coming to California saved him. He learned methods to cope with his identity, with his trauma. He was in a new place where there were less things to trigger flashbacks. The fear didn’t rule his life like it once had. There were days he questioned whether it was all even real. But, lately, he could feel himself backsliding. His nightmares were getting more vivid. They were trying to claw their way into his life here. They held on tighter so that it was harder to wake up. Sometimes, he forgot them as soon as he woke up. He'd be in a cold sweat, the fear shaking him, and he couldn't remember a thing. He was relieved that Ishaan had stayed the night. Having someone beside him seemed to keep the nightmares at bay. This week, he dreamt about the Mind Flayer, about being trapped inside his own head. He remembered sending his friends the code to close the gate. He knew what it meant. He had been resigned to it. It was a cost he had been willing to pay to ensure that the Shadow Monster would be dead for good. He woke up in tears at how willing he had been to accept his death. He cried at all the things he would have lost and felt relief to be alive.

It was because his family managed to pull it from him. His party refused to leave him behind.

He sculpted the man’s pained face. He hoped that if this movie got made, that they’d save the man. That the characters would be as heroic as his friends had been. _____________________________________

Will got off the metro, exhausted, both mentally and physically. Eight hours in a chair, bent over his desk and sculpting, did a number on his back.

He was still listening to Sonic Youth so he didn’t hear the chatter as he reached his floor. He didn’t hear the laughter when he put the keys in the lock. He didn’t hear the voice of the man that used to make his stomach flutter. If he had, he would have prepared himself. He would have made sure to tuck his heart in his chest, instead of on his sleeve.

But alas, he opened the door unsuspecting and the sound he made betrayed himself. It held in it all the love he felt in seeing him again.

“Mike.”

[themangledsans0508]

Sleepover Surprises

Tweek approached the pale green house cautiously, clinging the straps of his bags tightly. He didn’t know why he agreed to this, he could be doing anything else tonight. Instead, he was sleeping over at Wendy Testaburger’s house, most likely to be pressed about the details of his relationship. At least it wouldn’t be just the two of them, the New Kid (who’s name he still didn’t know) would also be there.

He liked Wendy well enough, along with Douche-bag, he just got rather stressed when it came to sleepovers, and Wendy could convince anyone to divulge their deepest secrets. Douche-bag, on the other hand, preferred to keep to himself, nobody really knew anything about him, but Wendy trusted the two of them to let them sleepover at her house.

He knocked on the door, hoping that no one would answer and he could just go home, or maybe go to Craig’s house. Alas, no such thing happened, and a tall man answered the door.

“Yes?” He recognized the man as Wendy’s father, confirming he was at the right house.

“Wendy invited me over for a sleepover,” he said, twitching slightly.

“She’s upstairs in her room with some other kid.” He motioned him inside. Tweek looked around the house as he made his way up the stairs. He heard laughter and muffled talking and followed it to Wendy’s room. He knocked first to be polite and not walk in on something he didn’t want to see.

“Come in!” Wendy called. Tweek slowly opened the door and inspected the room.

The room was a soft pink, with a yellow rim around the bottom that looked like clouds. There were flower and animal decals all around, and a few posters. The floor had a teal circle rug with a red bean bag chair and an orange lounge chair. There was also a pink desk and the bed had purple blankets on it.

Wendy and Douche-bag sat on the floor, nail polish spread out between them. There were lots of different shades of pink and purple on display, along with other colors that had not been taken out of the basket yet. Wendy’s nails were painted rose pink, and the pair was currently applying lilac polish to Douche-bag's nails.

“Hey, Tweek! Come sit down! We don’t have to paint your nails, but Willow doesn’t have any nail polish at home so we’re doing them now!”

“Willow? That’s your name?” Tweek asked and Willow nodded. “That’s a pretty weird name for a boy.” Wendy scanned him.

“She’s not a boy, Tweek,” she informed him. Tweek blinked a few times.

“Why didn’t you tell us, dude?” Willow shifted uncomfortably. There were some soft words exchanged between Wendy and Willow before she spoke.

“I’ve lost friends because of it. Before I moved here to South Park. Here, I got jumped by rednecks,” she said quietly. 

“That’s one of the reasons I asked you two to a sleepover. Besides just wanting to hang out, because we have to hang out before you can call me ‘girlfriend’ Tweek, you don’t have those privileges yet. But, you’re both LGBT.” Tweek nodded. He’d heard that acronym before, specifically with Mr Mackey and PC Principal. Neither had really explained what it meant, however.

“I’ve heard that before. What does it mean?” Tweek questioned. Wendy looked at him in surprise.

“You’re not really in the gay community much online, are you? And nobody told you either, Jesus. It’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. There’s also a plus, which incorporates the rest of the community. Since we now have two fully out kids and one partially out, plus at least five I can name who are in the closet, plus myself, I think we should have a pride alliance at our school.”

“What’s a pride alliance?”

“A group for LGBT people so they can support each other, participate in activism, and educate people. Because you guys know that a lot of kids in our school, even LGBT kids, make homophobic and trans-phobic jokes or just know nothing about any of it. Tweek, for a lot of kids, you and Craig were the first gay people they’ve ever met. With Mr Garrison gone, Big Gay Al and Mr Slave keeping to themselves, and Ned and Jimbo running a gun shop and just seeming like your average rednecks. Willow, you’re the first transgender person almost everyone in town has met. We need to raise awareness. Willow, you’ve already told me about some things people have said to and about you.”

Tweek looked at Willow, who was looking away from the group and carefully pulling at the rug so she didn’t ruin her nails. She looked embarrassed like she was ashamed that she had been harassed. 

“What was said to you?” Tweek asked gently.

“You know, like, people called me a tranny, called me a ‘thing’, and said I’m not a real girl because I have a dick. Stuff like that, it’s fine,” she said quietly. Tweek would have never guessed that someone who faced a literal eldritch monster could be so shy. 

“It’s not fine, sis. These things aren’t okay. I know some of these people might be your friends, but it’s still not okay.” Wendy placed a hand on her shoulder in a reassuring gesture with a soft smile on her face.

“Tweek, you and I have heard lots of bad things about gay people in our school. A lot from Cartman, but a lot from other people too.” Tweek nodded, he’d heard a lot of things. Probably the only reason nobody went after him was that he was dating Craig Tucker and that they both had gotten into fights and could hold their own. Plus, Craig was a respected person in their school as someone who didn’t take shit.

“Okay, so I think we need a pride alliance, do you guys agree?” Wendy looked to them for a genuine response. Both Willow and Tweek nodded.

“Great! With that out of the way, now we can really just hang out!” Wendy waved her hands excitedly. 

“Tweek, do you want your nails painted?” Wendy asked. Tweek hesitated. He wanted to try it again as himself and not a metro-sexual, but he didn’t want to break the barrier that kept him safe from ridicule.

He decided fuck it if anyone wanted to cause trouble him or Craig could deal with it.

“Sure, why not!” Tweek grinned. Maybe it would help him stop picking at his nails. Wendy started filing through her containers of polish. She and Willow exchanged words that Tweek couldn’t hear due in part to the clinking of glass. Willow looked him over and whispered to Wendy. Wendy paused for a moment and looked up at Tweek.

“We can do any color you want, but we recommend green or blue. Green compliments your usual outfit, while blue highlights your eyes,” Wendy suggested.

Tweek debated the options. He’d rather not do a different color since he didn’t really know much about fashion and things going together, he wanted to understand it first. Green was his favorite color, but blue was Craig’s favorite color. He decided green, he’d do blue next time.

“Green,” he said. Tweek watched Wendy take out different shades of green and Willow inspect them. After about ten rejected shades, Willow showed one to Wendy. Wendy nodded and turned to Tweek.

“What do you think about this shade? It’s pastel.” Tweek looked at the color. It was only a bit darker than some of the other shades and he didn’t know how they had decided on this specific one.

“Whatever you guys think, you’re the experts,” he shrugged. 

“Well then give me your hand, I’m steadier than Willow since she’s new.” Wendy held his wrist tightly so he wouldn’t twitch and mess up her work while Willow watched.

“You said Willow’s new, well how long have you been painting nails, Willow?” he asked. She counted on her fingers.

“About two weeks, since I only started after we stopped playing with that damned stick. And that’s also when my dad let me start using it.” Tweek recognized her tone of voice. It was the same one he used when he talked to Craig about his parents, one of sadness and bitterness. He wanted to show he understood where she was coming from.

“The only reason my parents accepted me was that it would be good for their business, not because I was their son,” Tweek said bitterly. 

“Guys, I hate to break it to you, but your parents are terrible,” Wendy interrupted. Tweek looked at Wendy with a scowl that wasn’t directed at her.

“You have no idea,” he muttered. 

Willow didn’t say anything, instead, she checked her nails to make sure she hadn’t accidentally smudged the lilac. He noticed Wendy debating something in her head and wondered if he should ask her about it. However, Wendy focused on Tweek’s nails again and he figured she had decided not to say anything.

“Wendy,” Tweek said, “that wasn’t the only real reason you invited us here, right?” Wendy shook her head.

“No, I wanted to hang out, and-” she got a mischievous grin on her face, “ask how your boyfriend is.” Tweek laughed.

“I thought that was a reason.”

“Can you blame her? I had to get you two back together.” Willow said.

“There’s that voice of yours!” Wendy wrapped her arm around Willow’s shoulder and squeezed. 

“Well, I really love your relationship, it’s healthy and it’s a good example of how to support your partner through difficult moments. Like Tweek, I don’t know if you’re open about it but I can tell you have anxiety. And as far as I’ve seen, fighting alongside you two in battle and risking our lives together, Craig really does his best to help you stay grounded,” Willow explained, “Also, I want to try and get more comfortable around you, I think you’re a friend of mine.”

“Aww, Willow, you want to be closer friends with Tweek? I’m glad I planned this sleepover,” Wendy grinned. 

“I mean, everything you said is true as long as he doesn’t start being a jerk. Sometimes he gets moody, but we’re working on that. We have a long time to work everything out,” Tweek disclosed. Wendy nodded.

“Yeah, that makes sense. He might be hot but he also is a dick, to like, everyone but you,” Wendy said. Willow nodded in agreement.

“Wait, that’s my boyfriend! He’s hot but he’s mine. Back off, girlfriend,” Tweek joked. Willow laughed.

“It’s true though, both parts. He is pretty attractive but he seemed to at best tolerate his friends, or downright insult them. He treated me and Jimmy the same and made fun of Clyde constantly. But for you, he makes almost every exception. He’s welcome to touch, sweet words, and emotions. From what I’ve heard, he didn’t even feel emotions. However when I went to get help him and when I gave him the couple’s counselling slip, he actually showed something,” Willow explained. Tweek fidgeted with his hair using his free hand, which had yet to be painted.

“I mean, he does help me get a hold of myself pretty often but sometimes he makes it worse but it’s not like he’s trying, it just happens,” Tweek explained, “Wendy, do you remember when President Garrison made all those tweets about me being this person I’m not and making North Korea hate me?” It took Wendy a few moments of visible confusion to process what he had said.

“That week with the distracted driving and suicide awareness things going on?” she clarified. 

“Yeah, but Craig tried to help me by explaining away my feelings, and we got in a fight. It made me so stressed I skipped school, and I felt terrible until he came home after school and-”

“Wait, did you say came home? Like you two live together? That’s so cute!” Wendy said excitedly. Tweek quickly waved his hands like he could dismiss the words.

“No! No, okay, maybe we basically live together, I go to his house all the time because it’s nice there and he comes over to calm me down or help me but we don’t live together!” Tweek rambled, “I’m going to finish my story. So, he came to my house, and he didn’t try to reason away any of my feelings he just listened. It was nice.”

“That’s what a healthy couple would do,” Willow stated.

“They are a healthy couple,” Wendy retorted half-jokingly.

“I know, healthier than half the married couples I’ve seen here.”

“Yeah, and I never got thanked for showing the school Yaoi art, which got you a boyfriend Tweek.” He felt the tips of his ears heat up. Yeah, that’s how they started fake-dating, and then real dating, but it was also incredibly embarrassing for art of him and Craig to be all over the town.

“That was so embarrassing, it forced me to come out! Craig didn’t even acknowledge how he felt back then, he just decided to ignore it because he felt like he’d be rejected by his friends and family and then he was basically forced into a relationship with me and his dad didn’t accept him at first and our relationship was fake at first and-” Tweek started spilling everything out, his breathing becoming irregular as he talked. His fingers tangled in his hair and he tugged lightly before someone else pulled his hand away from his hair and put it on the ground.

“Tweek, it’s okay. Take deep breaths,” Willow guided. Wendy squeezed his palm on the hand she was about finished with the paint on. He focused on their touch and slowly calmed down.

“Thank you,” he eventually managed to whisper.

“You’re welcome. I understand it’s okay,” Willow assured.

“How did you know how to help me?” he asked.

“Before I got prescribed medications, that’s how my best friend would calm me down.”

“You know, it kind of sucks that touch helps me calm down,” Tweek admitted, “Craig isn’t with me twenty-four seven, and most guys aren’t really into touching. They think it’s gay, it’s just not something they do.”

“That’s one thing us girls have over guys. We’re always touching each other because it’s not gay, it’s how we show we love each other. Tweek, as head of the council of girls, I welcome you to be treated as we treat each other. That means comfort touches,” Wendy declared. Tweek blinked a few times.

“There’s a council of girls?”

“Of course, we’re organised, unlike most of the boys. Sisterhood is no joke,” Wendy said.

“Okay, that makes sense. But you’re the head of them?”

“Yes, Willow is my aid because some of the girls are still sceptical of her, which is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. She’s as much a girl as any other member of the council,” Wendy mumbled bitterly. She then let Tweek’s hand go and took his other one. “Don’t fiddle with anything, it’ll ruin the polish. You can move it as soon as I’m done this one. Don’t listen to me and I’ll duct tape your hand so you can’t move it.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Willow, we’ll do your makeup after we’re done Tweek’s nails.”

-

Tweek often had trouble sleeping, in fact, he rarely slept more than an hour at a time. He could only sleep with Craig with him. He was left just staring at the wall, looking at every little detail that the beam on moonlight highlighted. The sound of partying, cars, and the quiet breathing in the room were all he heard.

He turned to face the bed so he could look out the window and found his view partially blocked by a body. Willow was sitting up, staring out the window herself. Her knees were pulled up to her chest. The soft glow of the moon reflected off jer face and highlighted some silent tears that were rolling down her cheek.

“Willow?” he asked quietly. She turned to face him and immediately wiped her eyes.

“Tweek. I thought you were asleep,” she whispered.

“I don’t sleep.”

“Oh.” She slid out of the bed to sit on the floor, looking back to make sure that she hadn’t woken Wendy up. “Maybe you shouldn’t drink all that coffee.”

“No.”

They sat awkwardly, wanting to speak and try to connect to each other and show their understanding of each other. Tweek decided to take the initiative.

“I understand how you feel. About your parents, I mean,” Tweek said.

“No, you don’t,” she spat, “but I appreciate it. Our families are different. You haven’t seen mine. I haven’t seen yours. But I think you’re right. Our families are terrible.” Tweek was taken aback by the venom in her voice. It wasn’t directed at him, but directed at the world.

“I want to understand how people treat you because I think we could be good friends. I just don’t want to say anything wrong. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I understand what it’s like being trans.”

“You’re smart and kind. We’ll talk about it sometime. We are similar, aren’t we.” Tweek grinned slightly

“Yeah, we are.” Willow silently got up and walked towards Tweek, pulling him into a hug. “You’re a good person, Tweek. Craig is lucky to have you. Stay you, no matter what. Stay you.” She got up and returned to the bed, slipping back under the covers. 

Tweek turned back to face the wall. Maybe it would be nice to have another friend, someone to go to when Craig was unavailable or to just hang out with. 

The sleepover wasn’t terrible in the end.

[kaspbrak-tozier-reddie]

You Engraved This? AU

Bear with me, I don’t usually do this sort of thing with ships. I do skip a bit 😂

Requests open

Trigger Warnings: swear, mentions of blood, death, homophobia.

Spoilers

———————————————————————

As Richie goes out in search for his token, he walked past the old arcade, that is now boarded up. “Oh no.” Richie muttered to himself. He knew what would happen as soon as he would enter the grime old place, he would relive the moment that deterred him away from arcades forever.

The door creaked open and sure enough he was suffocated by the dust and cobwebs that covered the interior.

His mind filled in the blanks.

A reasonably cute, dirty blonde haired boy was playing Street Fighter and Richie had basically asked him out in a friendly manner. Except the boy was a homophobe and took Richie’s kind gesture the wrong way. Not only that but he was cousin to Henry Bowers.

“It’s not real.” Adult Richie said to himself imagining far more than he bargained for. He saw the scene happen right in front of him as if he were in a 3D film. But Pennywise didn’t want to stop.

Richie grabs the gaming token and heads out to the giant statue. And there sat Pennywise on the shoulder of lumberjack statue. “I know your secret.” Pennywise tormented, just like he did 27 years ago.

Richie badly wanted to scream to the supernatural being (that was obviously not there) that he loved Eddie, no longer caring, but nothing came out. He knew that the town was just as homophobic as it was when he was a kid. He knew he would be shamed, even as an adult.

The fear came back, he wanted to leave but he couldn’t leave the Losers especially Eddie. So he went back to the inn with the intention with taking a roadtrip with his best friend and leaving the hell hole that Derry was.

****

The Losers Club enter the entry of the sewers. “Is that rope still safe?” Bev asked.

“Only one way to find out.” Mike said. Fear crept onto everyone but the adults pushed it aside. They needed to be brave so that their fear didn’t make them vulnerable to Pennywise.

Mike went down first with Richie heading down last. Richie looked directly atEddie as soon as his feet touched the ground. The hidden fear in Eddie’s eyes made his heart ache. He reached for Eddie’s hand but instantly chickened out.

Eddie was married, to a woman! Dammit Richard, get your shit together

But then he felt someone grab his hand, he looked down and sure enough it was Eddie’s. “I don’t remember there being this much water.” Ben said. Richie and Eddie pulled their hands away.

“It flooded years ago.” Mike replied. The 6 of them started swimming towards the pile of junk that sat in the middle of the sewer. They all had made it onto the wood pile except Bev. She disappeared from the surface and immediately the losers dived back in to sesrch for her. All but Eddie, that is.

He had a horrible feeling that one of them was gonna die. He wasn’t prepared for what was about to happen in that lair. “Right, down we go.” Mike said. One by one they went down.Eddie hesitated, he felt Richie grab his arm, stopping him.

“You’re braver than you think Eds.” Richie had said to the other man.

“He’s right Eddie. And this, this arrow. If you believe, you can kill any monster.” Beverly said handing him the arrow. Eddie nodded, he took a deep breath and followed to two into Pennywise’s home.

It was gloomy, slimy and claustrophobic. It was an unsettling place. It was like a visual representation of Pennywise’s personality.

Cold, grim and creepy.

Mike led them to where they were going to do the ritual. “Everyone got their tokens?” Mike asked, the rest of them nodded. One by one they threw their objects in.

Richie wanted to be beside Eddie. He saw the fear that Eddie trued to conceal. He wanted to comfort him. “Is that from the arcade?” Eddie asked Richie.

“Huh? Oh uh, yeah.” Richie replied tossing the small coin into the metal bin.

“It’s not going to burn!”

“It will when it meets your fucking inhaler!”

“It still won’t burn.”

“There are chemicals in that inhaler, Eduardo!”

“Guys, this is not the time to fight each other!” Bev yelled.

“Sh-sh-she’s right, guys.” Bill backed Bev up.

After they threw Stan’s token, the shower cap, the next step of the ritual began.

That’s when Mike screams for them to shut their eyes.

Fear crept onto the group of adults but Richie felt a deeper fear. He didn’t want to die without telling Eddie. Heaven forbid! If Eddie died, Richie didn’t want Eddie to leave him without him knowing how Richie truely felt.

That’s when a red balloon appeared in the centre of the circle. The Losers scrambled away from the growing balloon. Richie and Eddie immediately went for each other.

“Wanna tell them why the ritual didn’t work, Mike?” Pennywise chuckled.

Mike was quiet, he knew why but he couldn’t bring himself to see the disappointment on their faces.

“Wanna play truth or dare Richie?” Pennywise tried again. “Wanna tell them your dirty little secret?”

The cogs in Richie’s mind starred turning faster and faster until he couldn’t contain his anger he needed to do something but fear crept onto him.

He did the thing that they all agreed not to do.

He made himself vulnerable.

****

During the fight, Richie and Eddie found themselves running in a dark tunnel. The two men came to a halt as they found themseves in frint of 3 doors with words written in blood. “‘Scary’, ‘not scary’, ‘very scary’?” Richie read out loud. He gingerly walked towards the ‘Very Scary’ door. He gripped Eddie’s wrist a little tighter as they opened the door.

As the door creaked opened, the two were faced with a closet and half a torso. With a scream they slammed the door. “‘Not Scary’?” Eddie asked.

“Why not.” Richie replied. They ran to the final door.

They were met with a ginger fluff ball. “Awe.” The two exclaimed simultaneously. They started obsessing over the small fluffy animal, telling it how cute it was. In the process, completely ignoring the sound of IT’s extension that was coming towards them.

“Sit!” Richie commanded. The small Pomeranian sat. “Good boy.”

The scraping of the sharp extension drew closer but the men were still caught up in the dog.

But alas! It was too good too be true, the dog turned out to be a monster. Much to Richie’s disappointment.

They regained their breath from running and Richie announced, “when we get outta here, we’re adopting a dog!”

Richie miraculously finds the strength and picks up a reasonably large rock, thinking that he could distract Pennywise from his friends. “Yipee Kayay Motherfu-“ Richie screamed before he was caught in the deadlights.

****

It was white for a split second before Richie saw a vision. It was sort of clear, everything had fuzzy edges though.

He was in IT’s lair only brighter. He saw all his friends screaming at the creature, attempting to belittle the creature. But he couldn’t see Eddie or himself , he tried to move but he was stuck, he turned his head to the right and sure enough there was Eddie, bleeding from his abdomen and Richie holding the wound.

He wondered how Eddie ended up in that position. Sure enough, Pennywise took him 5 minites earlier.

He saw himself get saved by Eddie but what shocked him was that he watched himself kissing Eddie. But just as they come apart, Eddie is impaled.

Richie watched as Eddie’s blood was spurted onto his clothes and face (glasses included). He watched himsef cry out in agony.

If he ever made it out of the deadlights, his mission was to keep Eddie from the psychotic clown and tell him how he feels!

****

“Huh?” Richie regained consciousness, he saw his best friend and life long crush, hovering over him. “Oh my God! Eddie!” He hugged him but that was over within a second.

That’s when he remembered what he just saw in the desdlights. He pulled Eddie away, hiding in the cave they were just in. “I saved you!” Eddie screamed excitedly. Eddie’s excitement disappeared when he looked at Richie’s concerned face. “What did you see in the deadlights?”

“You getting impaled. Wasn’t going to let that happen.” Richie replied hesitantly. That’s when he saw the fear in Eddie’s eyes and he knew he’d start hyperventilating shortly. “Focus on me okay. Block out any fear.” Richie handed Eddie the spare inhaler that he took from Eddie’s bag before they left the inn.

****

“We should go before we’re arrested for destruction.” Bill said, everyone snapped their heads towards the previous ringleader. “What?”

“You didn’t stutter once.” Richie said.

“You said that the last time, before we defeated IT as kids.” Eddie pointed to Richie. They all laughed.

It was like 27 years earlier. Heading towards the Quarry to hang out. The nostalgia that they felt as they walked the route but something told them that they would not forget each other this time. They were no longer afraid of the things that Pennywise feasted upon. Their bond was even stronger than it was back when they were kids.

As the group was nearing the entrance to the Quarry. Richie said, “We’ll meet you at the Quarry. I’ve got to show Eds something.” He pulled Eddie a little further up the road towards the kissing bridge.

“Richard?” Eddie question Richie as he saw Richie finishing off a carving. There was half a faint ‘E’ written beside an obvious ‘R’. “When did you start this engraving?”

It would’ve been clear to anyone walking past that the ‘R’ and the ‘+’ looked as though they had been carved decades ago.

“When Bowers caught me checking out his cousin and called me a fag in front of the whole arcade. Oh and that was right before my encounter with Pennywise and his worse rendition of what Bowers said.” Richie replied. “I realised they were both right. I just didn’t want to believe I was gay, especially with being in a town like Derry.”

“I’m proud of you, opening up about your sexuality. But, um, you liked me when we were 13?!”

“Thanks and uh yeah I did, still do.” Richie gulped and muttered to himself, “In fact, I think it might be love now.”

“You hesitated before when I asked so I could only assume there’s more.” Eddie took a breath. “What else did you see in the deadlights?”

Richie sighed heavily and braced himself.

“I uh, I kissed you and Pennywise. He uh, he took the opportunity to kill you. Well actually, he made it a slow death.” Richie choked on his spit and tried to fight the tears. “I couldn’t let that happen. You’re my best friend, even if we didn’t remember each other for 27 years. You’re still my best friend Eds.”

“Let’s head back to the others.”

A cloud of disappointment hovered above Richie as they walked back towards the Quarry.

I knew I shouldn’t have told him. I’m an idiot! He’s married. Dammit Richie!!

He ducked under the fence and ran toward the cliff, jumping into the gross water below. Eddie followed after him.

He completely ignored Eddie, not wanting to wait for him before swimming over to the others sitting on the bank.

****

Eddie looked at the tall dark haired man. It was clear that Richie was upset, he was hunched over and didn’t care that his glasses were almost off his nose. He felt bad for dismissing Richie’s admission of love. He didn’t mean to, it was just too much.

But he started putting the pieces together, starting back from that Summer. Not only did Richie go to him when his parents were giving him a harsh time or when he couldn’t sleep. It was that particular day at the clubhouse.

The day when Eddie sat in the hammock with him because Richie refused to move. Richie clearly did that on purpose, not to mention his hand on his leg.

He thinked back to every single action of Richie’s but more importantly his own. Eddie knew he liked guys, that was no lie, but his mother made him marry Myra.

Eddie couldn’t pinpoint the day but he remembered when he bought Richie an icecream. He loved hugging and cuddling with Richie at 3am. He had always thought Richie was hot, even if he annoyed the shit outta him.

Eddie gasped loudly, catching the attention of every loser. Richie even looked up. “What?” Bev asked. Not wanting to face the others, Eddie looked down to avoid eye contact.

“I liked you too, Richie, I, uh, I still do.” Eddie said.

“Eds don’t – ” Richie began.

“Don’t call me Eds.” Eddie stated. “I didn’t want to admit it. But those cuddles we shared as kids, the egging you on was because I wanted your attention asshole!”

“The ‘I fucked your mom’ jokes were to get you attention!” Richie exclaimed.

“You’re both oblivious! We’ve known for years!” Bill yelled.

Ben and Beverly laughed and swam away, Mike and Bill then left, leaving Riche with Eddie. Eddie waded through the shallow water towards Richie.

“What will you do about Myra?” Richie asked.

“I’m divorcing her. I never loved her. Mom forced me to date her when I came out.” Eddie admitted. “Said, I was sick and that Myra would help.”

“I know I offered it to you once before we graduate high school and you said no but, come with me back to Cali.”

Eddie smiled and nodded, he kissed Richie. “I would love that, boyfriend. Oh and we can even adopt a pomeranian.” Richie laughed and kissed his boyfriend again.

“Boyfriend?” Richie giggled.

“We waited long enough, eh?” The two laughed.

[nekkid-karli]

My week

Over our 19+ years of marriage, our desires, tastes, and interests have morphed many times.  There were times that we were out at swingers parties or meeting new couples literally every night of the week.  There were times that we just wanted to make love to each other after quiet family evenings. Lately, we’re having a lot of fun dating other people.  Separately. We tell each other everything, and after some particularly steamy dates, we end up talking dirty about it in bed… but if I’m being completely honest about it, I mostly like it for me.  Not for us as a couple, not to turn S on… but just because it’s a ton of fun and it makes me feel good. When S goes out and comes home with stories and panties his date sent along as a souvenir, I’m genuinely pleased for him.  We agree that we have a very happy marriage, a great sex life, and there is nobody in the world we would rather have as our life partner and primary lover. S just feels like my home, my comfort zone, my perfect other half. …But that doesn’t mean we only rely on one another for our fun.

Anyway, last week was a busy one. Want to hear all the dirty details?  

MONDAY

Monday night I had a date with E, a divorced guy a few years older than me.  We had seen each other a couple of times before, and always had a GREAT time.  (The previous date, he took me to a Halloween party at a club, we took some mind-altering substances, danced for 7 hours straight, and stayed up until mid-morning fucking.  It was the most fun I’d had in ages!) So Monday we went to dinner and spent hours singing at a really fun gay piano bar. Towards the end of the night, we were both mildly drunk and very horny, and I couldn’t help but start things in the cab back to the hotel he had booked for the night.  (Which happens to be the same hotel a different date had taken me the week prior… but there was no reason to mention that to E.) I don’t know if the cab driver knew I wasn’t just resting my head on E’s lap, but I didn’t care too much.  

By the time we got into the room, (that elevator to the top floor took FOREVER!!!,) our clothes were already half off.  Once we managed to tear the other half off our bodies, E pushed me on the bed and dove between my legs, face first. I loved the feel of his beard on my skin and his tongue making circles on my clit.  I held my pussy lips apart so his mouth could have better access. I could feel my wetness soaking his beard, and we were both loving it. I was so turned on and he was so skilled that it probably took me no more than a couple of minutes to cum. Incredible as it felt, I was BEGGING him to stop and come up and fuck me; I NEEDED to feel him inside me.  When I really couldn’t wait any longer, I pushed him off, made him flip on his back, and sat on his cock. I was soaking wet and riding him like my life depended on it. I clearly remember reaching back to play with his balls and feeling my pussy juices dripping down his sack.  

This all went on for probably hours before we finally decided that we need at least a nap before I had to get home for morning kid duties… Another night with E with only an hour of sleep.  He has really set a high bar for our dates. I’m not sure how he’ll be able to keep this going, but I’m enthusiastically looking forward to finding out.

TUESDAY

After making the lunches, taking care of school drop off, and a loooong nap, I met up with a new friend to go on a hike.  This was someone who contacted me about a week prior through an online hiking group of which we’re both a part, and we chatted enough that I felt safe.  Nonetheless, I sent S all of this guy’s info and pics, and shared my location… I guess so they can at least recover my cell phone when I go missing. This was really supposed to just be an innocent hike.  He knew I’m happily married, and I strategically left out the part about the marriage being open.  

You obviously know I wouldn’t be writing about this if all that came out of it is nice fall foliage photos.  This guy was cute and I was still in a flirty mood from E, so I was probably more touchy than I needed to be.  I know just the moment that he realized that I may just be down for some fun. He was taking a selfie in front of me, and I jumped into the shot with one arm around his chest and the other nonchalantly resting on his ass.  And then less nonchalantly squeezing. After that, there was a small barrage of questions. “Does your husband know you’re here with me?” “Is he okay with that?” “Do you have an open relationship or something?” “Yes. Yes. …Yes.”  Before long, we were making out and groping each other as the sunset over the lake. It was almost romantic. (Almost.) We did have to get back to the cars before it got dark, so we postponed any further face suckage til the parking lot.  

Once we hit the parking lot, it was ON.  Hardcore making out with hands down each other’s pants. He tried to convince me to come to his place… he even tried to tempt me with homemade stuffed cabbage… but I was just way too tired. Conveniently, this guy drives a van.  No stuffed cabbage there, but I figured it was just as good a place to get stuffed.

Before long, we’re in the long middle seat, him sitting with only one pant leg half on him, me topless bending over him, his hand on the back of my head, and his cock deep in my throat. After a while, I asked if he has a condom. His response? “I haven’t used those in years!"  What??? "Come on. Condoms are out of style.” WHAT?!?!?! “Let me just put it in for a second. Just once.” Not a chance.

So that was the end of that. Sigh. At least I got great fall foliage photos. Moving on.

WEDNESDAY

Wednesday night, I had a date scheduled with O.  We met on Tinder and had our first date the prior week.  He’s a divorced dad from Europe, a few years older than me, intelligent, attractive, and has a killer accent.  O and I weren’t supposed to meet until later in the evening, so I decided to grab a drink with a guy I used to fuck around with a decade back, D, with whom I recently reconnected.

Back in the day, D and I had some fun together, sometimes with extra characters making an appearance. Recently, however, it was just exchanging stories of our escapades via text, a picture exchange or two, and one instance of a pretty platonic happy hour.  I must say, there is something about D that really gets me going. It’s more than just his ridiculous body or killer smile or mischievous eyes. He’s just walking, talking sex. We met for drinks, and my panties were wet before I even had a sip of my cocktail.  (In fact, when I was getting dressed, I thought about going commando, but knowing the effect D has on me, I didn’t want to show up to my date with O with a wet patch on my skirt.) At one point, I went to the bathroom and sent D a picture of how wet he had made me.  Alas, that was the extent of it with D that night. Second platonic-ish happy hour, and off I went to meet O.

After dinner, back in the hotel, things were getting goooood.  I love the way O kisses; love his hands all over my body and in my hair. It was not hard and urgent; it was erotic and sensual. Passionate. There’s so much eye contact - I could feel him watching my face as he pushes all the way inside me, stretching me with every thrust. Maybe it’s because he watches the reactions and expressions of his lovers that he’s so good at eating pussy.  His finger on my g spot; tongue on my clit; every time, he has me breathless and moaning, wanting it never to end.

O and I met in the hotel he got for the night. I was so horny thanks to D that I didn’t let O take me to dinner until he fucked me for a bit. It wasn’t long - he said he didn’t want to cum until later - but it was enough to satisfy me for now. At least I’d be able to concentrate enough to have normal dinner conversation.  

We recorded some videos that night. There’s one where the camera really only captured us shoulders and up as I’m riding him.  Surprisingly, that’s the best video of the night. Just from watching our faces, you can tell every time he’s deep inside me. You can tell when he’s teasing me and not letting me come all the way down on his dick. If you can imagine two bodies writhing together, that’s exactly what it’s like. Not my usual kind of sex, but with him it just really works. Even in the middle of the night when we were done, I could still feel his lips on mine.

I’m the morning, O had to leave early for work and left me sleeping. In this big empty hotel room. All by myself. With still many hours left before check out. What a waste of a room.

THURSDAY

So I texted D. “Wyd?” “Coming over.” Perfect.

While I waited, I set up my camera and took lots of photos in my lingerie and heels. Because, you know, maximum room usage. Plus I needed to pass the time SOMEHOW.

I was really excited about getting it on with D.  He showed up looking hotter than ever and acting all dommy.  “Get on your knees.” “Lick my balls.” “You like me fucking your face?  I can’t hear you.”

I’m not usually a squirter, but he had me soaking the bed repeatedly.  He was fucking me from every possible angle and I couldn’t get enough. It was like he had a spell on me - I would have done anything he wanted.  And I did. I did everything he told me to do. “What do you say when I make you cum? That’s right. You thank me.” “Thank you.” “Thank you.” “Thank you.” “Thank you."

Eventually, I HAD to have his cum in my mouth. I NEEDED to taste it. Condom off; cock as deep as it could go. I caught myself moaning with pleasure every time he hit the back of my throat. When D's cum filled my mouth, I took an extra beat to taste it before swallowing. Hot and delicious and just the reward I wanted at the end of my morning. "What do you say?" 

"Thank you."

[shastelly]

Flirt - March Klance Prompts from MonthlyKlance - Day 21

Yep, still working on these.  I am stubborn and I will finish, before next March for sure...

This one is shorter and more light hearted than some of the others, enjoy but be prepared for bad pick up lines 

Day 21 Flirt

 "Do you have a map, ‘cause I've been lost in your eyes all night."  Lance batted his eyes at Allura who put a hand on his face and shoved him away.

 "Lance, really,” She couldn't help the giggle that welled up inside her at his silliness.  She had long ago learned that his cheesy pick-up lines were not to be taken seriously and to either take them as a compliment or a joke.  He meant no harm and he was usually pleased as long as he got a positive reaction from her.

 Hunk snorted with laughter and Pidge smirked.  They were very used to Lance's lines and had heard many of them at the Garrison.  Lance was a legend at the local club they frequented.  Every other Friday night they let in anyone over 16 for Karaoke night. Of course, they had to forge Pidge's ID, but then that would have been needed even if she hadn't been underage given her secret identity.  Lance would give pickup lines to anyone that stood still long enough to listen. Usually it went over well and enough people at the bar knew him to cover when it didn't.

 "Wouldn't it be rather gruesome to be in someone's eye?"  Coran asked, eyebrow raised.  Lance was nearly certain he was making a joke.

 "It's an Earth saying it means to like stare into each other's eyes and just,” Lance put a hand to his forehead dramatically and fell back into Hunk's arms, "fall in love."

 "Oh, I see."  Coran's moustache twitches, "And is the actually falling required?"

 Lance chuckled and Hunk dropped him.  

 "Sometimes I suppose it feels that way."  Lance commented glaring back at Hunk and rubbing his bum.

 Pidge snorted, "Romantic crap."

 "Ah, Pidgie McPidgeface, not all of us are as aromatic as you love."  Lance reminded.

 "Blah."  She stuck her tongue out at him, but a smile twitched at her lips.

 "So, are Lance's pick-up lines, considered romantic?"  Allura asked curious.

 "No." Hunk and Pidge answered at the same time Lance said "Yes". Lance frowned and the others laughed.

 "It depends.  Most of what Lance says are really cheesy and meant to be funny."  Hunk offered elbowing Lance.

 "Alas, tis true, but at heart I am just a poor romantic searching for the other part of my soul."  Lance sighed dramatically.

 "Now that sounds romantic!"  Allura smiled over at him.

 "Yeah, but I’m better at cheesy."  Lance grins and shots finger guns at her.

 "Okay, give us your best cheesy lines."  Coran challenges.

 Hunk and Pidge groan, but both are smiling brightly.

 "Just remember you asked for it."  Lance laughed.  "Alright, ready?  Who's first?"  

 "Me."  Allura smiled, "I hear so many, you have to come up with a new one."

 "Allura, are those space pants, because your legs are out of this world!" Lance gushed as Allura blurted out laughing.

 "Very nice.  I'll give it an 8."  Hunk judged.

 "Golf clap?" Pidge inquired.

 "Golf clap."  Hunk agreed and they both clapped slowly one hand against the palm of the other.

 "Next?" Lance challenged.

 "Coran!"  Pidge volunteered.

 "Coran, you must be from Tennessee, because you are the only Ten I see." Lance tried.

 "Coran, Tennessee is a particular place on our planet and being a ten is like being perfect or exceptionally beautiful."  Pidge explained.

 "Sorry Lance, not scoring high on one that needs explained."  Hunk shook his head sadly.

 "Fine, you're up Hunk."  Lance sauntered over to him.  "I must be a magnet, because I am attracted to your buns of steel."  

 Pidge snorted and laughed as Hunk actually managed a blush.

 "Ah Pidge, you'd better have a license, because you've been driving me crazy." Lance wrapped an arm around her and pulled her over to him.

 Shiro and Keith managed to enter the room at just that point and the looks on their faces was enough to send everyone into another fit of laughter.

 "What is going on?"  Shiro asked in a weary kind of Space Dad voice.

 "Lance has been challenged to deliver a pick up line to each of us.  I still think he owes Coran a better one." Pidge nodded to the other man. "Go on, Lance, two new victims!"

 "Shiro?"  Lance asked eyebrow raised.  Shiro shrugged giving permission.  Lance sauntered over to him and tripped part way landing in a somewhat obviously planned way in his arms.

 "Shiro, I've fallen for you so hard, I can't think straight."

 Shiro stared at him for a good ten count before dropping him and putting his hand over his face.  It was clear though that he was hiding a smile and the rest of the room, minus the Alteans started laughing.

 "Why is that one funny?"  Coran asked.

 "In human terms, straight generally means guys like girls and girls like guys, whereas some other arrangement wouldn't be straight.  So, it's a play on words because not thinking straight is a generic saying for being confused like you might be if you actually fell." Hunk offered up the explanation.

 "I see and so for a male to like another male is not straight?"  Coran still looked confused.

 "Nope."  Pidge popped. "Lance, negative points for confusing the Alteans, bonus points for making Shiro smile."

 "Alright, Keith's turn."  Hunk declared.

 Lance glanced at Keith warily.  The other boy had his arms crossed and was frowning.  Lance was nervous about this.  "Hey, guys, Keith doesn't have to play if he doesn't want to.  It's only fun if everyone is enjoying it." Lance backed away from Keith.

 "I don't mind."  Keith blurted out.

 "Oh, okay then."  Lance smiled and walked past Keith, winked and then walked past him again before coming to stand right in front of him, “Do I confuse your sexuality yet, or should I walk by again?"

 Keith looked at him, frowned a little, and then shook his head, "Nope, not confused at all."

 "I had better luck with the Alteans."  Lance sighed turning away.

 "Well Lance, you're batting over .500."  Hunk offered.  "Pretty much failed on Coran and Keith and got a maybe on Shiro, but Pidge's, mine, and Allura's were pretty good."

 "I get why I failed with Coran, and I'm working on that and the same with Shiro, but what about Keith, why did I fail there."  Lance looked over at the mullet in question, who was smirking at him.

 "Because having a guy flirt with me does not confuse my sexuality.  I'm gay."  Keith shook his head in amusement.

 Lance blinked three times, his mouth formed an "O", and then he smiled.  

 "Alright fine.  I need to redeem myself here."  Lance shook out his arms, stretched and cracked his knuckles.  "I got this."

 "Coran, are you tired?"

 "No." Coran answered mouth twitching to hide a grin. "Why?"

 "Because you have been running around in my mind all day."  Lance smiled as Coran burst into laughter.

 "Redemption."  Pidge nodded offering another golf clap.  Hunk joined her.

 "Alright."  Lance turned to Shiro who took a step back at the intense look he was getting.  Lance staggered over to Shiro and tripped up against him this time, like he was drunk.  "I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you."

 "Eh, not your best, but we'll let it go."  Hunk judged.  The rest of the room laughed.

 "Fine, fine, need to pull a good one out for Keith then."  Lance spun around a couple of times before seeming to come to a decision.  He turned and walked purposefully over to Keith.  Stopping when he was standing right in front of him, bodies touching. He leaned in and sniffed Keith from his neck up to his ear, before looking over with a smirk, "I've got a thirst baby, and you smell like my Gatorade."

 "Bravo." Pidge clapped.

 "Here, here!"  Hunk added.

 As the others were laughing and clapping, Keith blinked and looked up into Lance's eyes. Lance felt his breath catch and a weird little flutter in his stomach as he stared into those violet eyes.

 "Wow, you have really beautiful eyes." Lance breathed.

 "Game’s over, Lance."  Keith frowned as he pushed him toward the group.

 "Oh yeah, right, game."  Lance blinked and turned to the others, taking a bow for his performance.  He glanced back over at Keith, who now had a thoughtful look on his face.  Lance gave him a wink and a little smile and now he got a full Keith blush.  After all there was flirting for fun and then there was the other kind and Lance wasn't that bad at either, no matter what anyone else said.

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 3 (Cont.)

“aight fellas im here for the fortnite session where we droppin boys”

Hibiki shows up, ready to participate in this four player game of sociological tension.

“hope hibiki’s doing okay. im worried about her. ryoko, stop resting your arm on my head.”

“ryoko does as ryoko pleases baby”

Vibrates angstily.

“im missing my wife for this guys please lets just do this”

“wish i had a wife too instead of this vase filled with fucking ashes” SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORP

The squad analyzes the statistics of all Noise outbreaks over the last month to see if there’s a pattern somewhere. Somehow, Hibiki is regarded as an authority on this, despite being just a normal girl.

This is not the face of someone who has a degree in Noisology, let alone even listened to a Noisia album.

“looking photogenic while this girl describes how these horrible, lovecraftian entities butcher entire populations will look great on my acting resume”

Strained sounds of holding back laughter at this absolute clownery.

*coughs quietly*

Exposition goes on about the UN acknowledging the existence of Noise, but them existing for far longer, existing in myths as demons and monsters of long ago. This makes little sense, but fuck it, just roll with it. They also say the Noise is rare, but this being Symphogear, the Noise will be here forever, until the end of time.

“its like the noise are a metaphor........................”

Hibiki, looking dead inside as the average overnight studying student would, muses whether someone is behind the noise. She also asks if you can hear the sound of one hand clapping.

Tsubasa makes a very relevant observation that the school is smack dab at the center of all these outbreaks. In retrospect, you probably should have asked her first. She points out it may be because someone wants their get their hands on the almost complete relic hidden away in the 2nd Division: Durandal. Why anyone wants an old ass french sword is beyond me.

“yeah i can do exposition too, fuck you”

Finished relics are extremely rare and as a result extremely powerful. Incomplete ones are pretty powerful, but need to be rebuilt a bit.

“i discovered all this, conveniently, as the only person left to do so! totally not suspicious at all.”

“anime plot hurting brain. bullshit levels make think no good.”

“wish i got hired for a macross anime instead, they get to go to space”

“being meguca is suf- wait, im confusing my roles”

The exposition goes on to note that America wants the relic. This is one of the few shows that depicts America in a very serious and antagonistic light. America never cooperates in any useful way except once.

“it should would suck if someone was sending us them noise monster all on purpose-like”

“yeah............! suuuuuure would suck.... mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm...”

Tsubasa and Ogawa quietly plan idol ruminations. This animation used to be far, far worse.

This is the moment where Tsubasa becomes sword-kin. From here on out, she will always refer to herself as a sword. This is law. Literally every single season has this same deal. She believes she is a sword. I know it’s not literal, but I like pretending it is.

Succ Intensifies

“gonna get her number later after the season is over, damn”

Hibiki muses on the nature of war.

“why we gotta fight”

“cause yall suck”

Ryoko then says some very not nice things that we’re just going to walk right around because Ryoko is a little bit of a weirdo and should probably keep her flirting to the short haired lady working on the bridge.

“i will call the cops, lady”

Hibiki starts her next day at school as she spots Tsubasa during her choir class.

“forget my nintendo switch with the latest smash bros game in the classroom goddamnit”

“hibiki please tone down the gay for five seconds while we try to get through this dumb singing class in one piece”

“i smell a homewrecker”

“THE GAY CAN NEVER BE TONED DOWN, IT CAN ONLY BE TONED”

Hibiki is then fed by multiple classmates for this statement.

The Anime Janai crew is fond of Hibiki, much like a group of Lords being fond of the royal court jester. Hibiki clowns it up by working on a report she procrastinated until the very last minute. “Your life sure is an anime!”, one of them says. Hibiki then says, “I wish!”. They smile in unison at the irony.

Look at how they mock the threads of reality. Absolute monsters.

Hibiki nails the report at the skin of her teeth, Miku’s gonna get ready for the meteor shower, everyone’s real fucking happy, the evening looks peaceful, all is well.

“i cant wait to do all these fun things we promised several times over!”

Unfortunately, the worst case scenario happens.

Her tiddies start ringing.

“no.... fuck.... my tiddies... they’re ringing...”

She knows now she cannot go.

In retrospect, she probably could’ve blown them off. I mean, what are they gonna do? Fire her? She’s practically irreplaceable. Alas, her conscience is too strong. The ringing from her tiddies too loud to ignore.

“okay im back for the thing you promised we’d do repeatedly that we planned for a good amount of weeks now”

“...”

“i got fucking ghosted didnt i”

“cannot fucking believe i got ditched on my hot date with hibiki. bet its because her tiddies rang, isnt it. always her and her... GODDAMN tiddies ringing ALL THE TIME. LET ME BE WITH HER... god...”

“bae. im sorry. the tiddies rang. i have no choice.”

Miku tries to keep it together. Neither of them are happy about this state of affairs, and rightfully so, because it’s fucking stupid. Hell, it would have made more sense of Miku knew but still got jealous anyway, because she feels her job is establishing too much distance! And they talk those problems out instead of issues that only arise if everyone’s a goddamn moron about communication!

“but thats the point of the pl-”

NO! IT’S NOT CLEVER! IT’S FRUSTRATING! THERE ARE CLEVER WAYS TO SHOW A LACK OF COMMUNICATION BESIDES A CHAIN OF OBSTACLES TOO STUPID TO EXIST!

Miku takes the whole thing with grace even though I’m absolutely certain she threw her phone at the wall in raw, gay frustration.

Hibiki, understandably, is pretty fucking pissed.

“im gay. im angry, and im gonna fuck yall up for RUINING MY DATE AFTER HAVING FINISHED MY DAMN REPORT”

Hibiki fights the Noise. She’s gotten slightly better at fighting, but for now she’s still sorta trash at it. A grape themed Noise throws bombs and crushed her under rocks from a ceiling.

You’re a student. You’re the lone survivor of a concert that you got flak about for years. You go to an institution for singing with your best friend and basically get shoved into a life of crime fighting unwittingly. Your only teammate hates you and tried to kill you. You don’t get to hang out with your best friend anymore. Your teachers hate you. And you’re losing against the abominations that may have potentially warped your life negatively, forever.

This is probably the pivotal moment where Hibiki fucking snaps and decides she ain’t taking shit anymore. She’s not at her strongest yet, but mentally? She has decided to tell the world to go fuck itself.

“MY WIFE THINKS IM CHEAAAAAATING, MY TEAMMATE THINKS I SUUUUUUUUUCK, AND I’M SICK AND TIRED OF IT”

My, Hibiki, what big fangs you have. All the more to grit your teeth and beat the shit out of things with, I assure you.

Needless to say, even without having the skill, she’s starting to understand and get more comfortable with the full extent of the power her suit provides her.

She’s gotten so mad that even the illustrators are afraid of her.

To note: this isn’t just anime drama silhouette stylization. She is actually physically turning into a red eyed shadow. You’ll know why later down the road.

“YOU WANNA FUCKIN FIGHT ME NOW TSUBASA? HUH? HUH? YOU WANNA FUCKIN’ FIGHT ME?!”

Needless to say, her rampage goes on for a while.

She manages to dispatch all the Noise except for the Grape themed one. Up in the hole it made, she sees the meteor fall from the sky...

Wait, look closer. Is it a bird?

A plane?!

No, it’s...!

“i aint gonna tell her i just did a wish on her”

Sword!

“why the fuck does SHE get jetpacks?!”

Hibiki randomly yells out she wants to protect things too, for absolutely no real reason. Who would even break the ice with that. Hibiki, please.

They sorta stare each other down in a field awkwardly, like a bad high school reunion. But, a mysterious voice breaks out of literally fucking nowhere.

“didnt know they legalized gay marriage in japan already, otherwise id be showing up to this joke of a marriage sooner, you absolute buffoons”

“did this bitch just insinuate id waste my time getting married to this complete idiot, let alone even contemplate getting married in a public park as opposed to having a customized karaoke based marriage in the FUCKING HILTON?!”

“hey time out dont say that shit im already married and my wife already feels enough like im cheating so please keep those comments to yourself okay please”

“eat my ass, nerds. id tell you to come to the park in 15 minutes for an ass kicking...

but we’re already here, now aren’t we?”