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reallyverysane · 21 days

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This was all inspired by this picture. I'm normal and totally ok.

Pairing: Astarion x fem! Tav, Drow, OC with backstory

Summary: Tav and the gang travel together when the Wizard gets more than he bargained for, trying to tease the Drow about distractions.

Later, around the campfire, Tav leaves the vampire all twitterpated.

Warning: Total fluff front to back. One tiny kiss and the mention of attraction. Mentions of past trauma, sex work, PTSD reactivity, panic attack.

Word Count: 4.4K

A/N: This is the first time I've had fun writing in over a decade and somehow the floodgates have opened. I have so much planned for this character, so if you like her let me know! Being creative again after so long feels amazing, and I hope you enjoy reading the utter lovesick drivel I'll be pumping out about my newest favorite white haired elf boy.

~~~~~~

She kept catching herself staring. As the party trudged along the dusty road her traitorous eyes roved over the lines of his form, lit with the warm glow of the afternoon sun, while he strode confidently ahead. The rogue’s face seemed always to turn toward the sun, like a sunflower in a garden row, the golden rays caressing the sharp planes of his features. He laughed at something Wyll said, throwing his head back, ivory curls catching the light and practically glowing from within. His fangs flashed with his elation, and she felt a jolt run through her, remembering the night those same fangs had sunk into the flesh of her throat. She suppressed a shiver, trying in vain to quell the deep twisting ache in her core.

What am I doing?

“OoooOOOh… someone is distracted.” She barely heard the good natured taunt before the sharp jab of an elbow into her rib shook her back from her reverie and her body reacted in pure instinct. She spun away from her attacker and, grabbing the offending elbow in a move that belied her short stature and soft curves, drove them to the ground with her knee between their shoulder blades.

“Mystra’s tits, Tav! Unhand me!”

It took a moment longer before her eyes refocused, taking in the tableau before her as the road dust settled around them. She had Gale face down in the dirt, his arm twisted awkwardly behind his back, his lips bleeding against the gravel of the road. Her body was slow to react as she willed it to release him and back away. Her hands were shaking, legs stiff and leaden, and her breathing ragged.

“Gods, Gale…” She fought to keep a tremor from her voice. “I’m sorry, I..” Stammering, unable to fight the wave of embarrassment and gut-deep fear that rolled over her, she released her grip and lurched backwards. Her retreat was stopped by a pair of large, warm hands firmly placed on her shoulders, holding her steady. In her heightened state of agitation she flinched reflexively away from the restraint, but the pacifying grasp on her shoulders did not relax.

“You’re alright, Tav” Halsin’s honey-sweet baritone rumbled behind her, “Take in a breath, you’re safe.” She did as he prescribed, hiding her face in her trembling hands and sawing in deep, ragged breaths that threatened to give way to sobs.

“SHE’S safe?” An indignant whine, as Gale awkwardly rose to his feet, brushing off the dust and angrily wiping his bleeding lip with the back of his fist. “She nearly tore my arm from its socket! Not to mention the fact she could have knocked out my teeth!” He looked down to see a tear in the front of his robe where his knees had hit the rocky ground. “Oh that’s just wonderful.”

“Gale,” Halsin chided softly, strong hands still holding her firmly by the shoulders, a welcome anchor. “Look at her” His voice was commanding, but held a gentle understanding that made Tav want to crumple farther into her hands, away from all of their questioning eyes.

She heard the tone in the wizard’s voice change as he breathed out his reply. “Ah…”

She could feel her face burning, a deep berry blush splashed across her slate gray cheeks. From behind her fingers she muttered an apology again to Gale, wishing the hells would open and take her where she stood.

“Oi! Let’s give the woman some space, eh?” Karlach began to shoo the others away from Tav, “Don’t worry, Sparks, happens to the best of us.” Shooting Gale a look that could slay a dragon, “Some people just don’t understand what it’s like to have to fight for your own survival.”

“I most certainly…” Gale trailed off, cowed by the sheer fury burning in the yellow eyes of the tiefling. He may have had his fair share of close calls, may be living with a bomb in his chest, but he would never know the bone-deep vigilance that came from not knowing if those around you would try to slide a knife through your ribs.

“Just be grateful she didn’t have those lightning powers as a kid, Gale, or you’d be roasting from the inside out.” She barked a laugh at his haughty, shocked expression, “Word of advice, wizard, never startle someone who can kick your ass.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but gave a quick apology to Tav and shuffled forward, muttering to himself about it being only in jest, and her need to lighten up.

Her breathing finally calming, Tav lowered her hands from her face and shot Karlach a look of deep appreciation. Thank you she mouthed and the tiefling shot her a bright, reassuring smile over her shoulder. Shadowheart passed, giving her hand a quick squeeze, “That was brilliant.” She chuckled, “The way his whole body crumpled, like a sad ragdoll in a robe.”

“No, I…”Tav started, but Shadowheart waved away her response, “He needed to be taken down a peg. I could not listen to one more lecture on the fundamentals of magic I already know. I would have done it myself if you hadn’t beaten me to it!” She snorted a laugh and made a face at Gale’s retreating back. “He won’t underestimate you again, that’s to be sure!” Seeing that Tav’s cheeks still burned with embarrassment she quickly walked off, catching up with Gale in a few strides. She held her hand, palm glowing with soft golden light, up to his split lip, healing it, all while she mocked him for how easily he had been flattened by a woman nearly a foot shorter than himself.

Giving her shoulders a reassuring squeeze, Halsin turned her to him. He said nothing, but his kind, hazel eyes spoke volumes. In her terror she had acted purely out of instinct, and he somehow saw straight to the core of her reaction. They hadn’t known each other long, but somehow the massive elf had been able to peer past the defenses she held herself behind. She was wary at first, not trusting his intentions, but they had spent days chatting together on the road and nights around the campfire learning the songs of each other’s cultures. She had begun to suspect he really was as genuine and warm as he appeared. She gave him a tired nod, a silent thanks for helping her return to her body, and he turned to walk after the others.

She stood, thoughts turned inward on the past she was so desperately trying to leave behind. Telling herself over and over that she was topside, out of the underdark, and away from the dangers that had forced her to hone those reflexes in the first place. The group advanced down the trail in the direction of a campsite Halsin knew, while she took a moment to gather herself after being so thoroughly rattled. Scanning the ground around her, she searched for her dropped quarterstaff. In her moment of reaction she had cast it aside, thankful her body had chosen to merely force the wizard to the ground instead of using the staff to cave his skull in.

“Looking for something?” A voice like cool water spoke from behind her, carrying the hint of a wicked grin.

She drew in a sharp breath as she turned, her eyes lifting to meet Astarion, wreathed in sunlight, leaning casually on the staff she had discarded. His face held a look of mirth with just a whisper of concern.

“That was quite a show.” He gave her a mock applause, elbow still resting on the top of her staff. “The way he squealed when you flipped him like a coin? Hilarious.”

She felt her cheeks redden and her eyes shot to her feet, not meeting his gaze. “I wasn’t thinking, it just…happened.”

“Oh, darling, I know! That’s what makes it so impressive! Your reflexes really are something. Not many sorcerers have even a lick of training hand to hand. All fireball, no fitness, so to speak.” He grinned, handing her back her staff with a deep bow from the waist. “Remind me never to get on your bad side.”

Sliding her staff into its holster she slung it across her back with a deep sigh. “Just don’t startle me and you’ll be fine. I try not to make a habit of pinning people for no reason.”

“I don’t know,” his voice a smoky purr, “I can think of a few people I’d like to pin.”

He took a long stride toward her, closing the distance between them. Reaching out, he curled a strand of her long, silvery hair around a finger. “And what, pray tell, had you so utterly distracted that our resident bumbling wizard was able to rattle you so?”

When she met his eyes her breath hitched in her throat. He wore an expression of mocking affection mixed with something darker. She watched as his eyes flicked down to her mouth then back to meet her own. He stood, inches from her, finger lazily twirling the lock of her hair.

“Gale doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” She breathed, realizing Astarion must have overheard Gale’s teasing question before he had ended up flat on his face. Her voice was thinner than she would hope, the proximity of the vampire affecting her in ways that made her furious with herself.

“No?” His crimson eyes bored into her, full of playful mockery, the corners of his lips curling into a sly grin. “If I didn’t know better, I’d suspect it might have been someone who had you daydreaming, hmm?

She knew he was on to her, knew that he could hear the increased rhythm of her heart, the shallow breaths she took when he stood near her. He was so obviously trouble, she wouldn’t have needed her street urchin’s intuition to tell her that. So why did she feel a deep thrill in her chest when she thought of what his hands had felt like on her back, holding her while he fed? Was she truly just depraved, or had madness finally claimed her after all these years? After all the varied clientele she had taken to her bed in the underdark, it amazed and concerned her that the thought of him could still make her blush. Somehow she found herself wholly intrigued by this haughty vampire with a penchant for dramatics unlike anything she had known in Menzoberranzan.

She was no fool, however. She could see that his flirtation and attention was a well rehearsed routine he was simply moving through, like the steps of an elaborate dance. To what end, she hadn’t quite figured out, but she knew a mask when she saw one. He too hid himself behind a carefully constructed facade, holding the world at arm’s length to avoid becoming vulnerable to anyone. He had spoken so briefly of his captivity and undeath, tone almost flippant with his feigned nonchalance, but she had caught a glimpse of the shadow beneath the surface.

So why, then, did he still intrigue her like he did? She was sure he had ulterior motives in every hungry smile and honeyed word, but somehow she still found herself drawn in. What harm could it do, really, if she indulged her body’s desires? She had walled off her heart long ago, a necessity of her time in the Trade. She saw that he couldn’t be trusted, so she wouldn't. That didn’t mean she couldn’t find enjoyment in his company. After all, they had worms in their brains. They could transform into monsters at any moment. What good would it do to deny her doomed soul a moment of peace in the arms of another?

He watched her reach the decision in a split second as her thoughts raced through her. Her face slid from timid to bold in an instant. He rocked back on his heel, still twining the silver lock of her hair, making enough space between them to take her in more fully.

“Gods, you do have a crush, don’t you?” His tone was titillated, “Let me guess, it’s..”

Before he could finish his guess she was flowing into him, standing on her tip-toes and pressing a kiss gently to his lips. He reflexively dropped her curl, arm moving to pull her closer. Her lips were as warm as the sun on his and he let out a small grunt of protest as she withdrew. As quickly as it had started, it was over. She turned from him and took up a hurried pace to catch up to the rest of the group.

“I’ll give you one guess, darling” She mimicked his languid Baldurian drawl, winking at him over her shoulder. Her cheeks were flushed a deep wine red and, when she turned, he noticed the tips of her ears, poking through the flowing mass of her gunmetal and silver hair, were as well. He stood still in the waning afternoon sun, long shadows beginning to stretch before him on the dusty road. A look of determination mixed with deep unease fell like a shadow across his features. Balling his fists in resolve, then shaking them out and resuming his normal carefree posture he strode down the path to catch up with the group.

~~~~~

The fire crackled and hissed, sending sparks leaping toward the deep blush of the darkening sky. The site Halsin had recommended was truly lovely, tucked against a wall of dark stone on the bank of a small but deep pool. A thin waterfall crested over the cliff, falling in a veil of mist into the water below, filling the glade with a calming, continuous roar. They had all taken turns under the frigid deluge, scrubbing themselves clean under the vigorous massage of the falls. Now, in the darkening chill of twilight, only Karlach remained in the deep indigo waters. She floated on her back, small rivulets of steam rising around her, gazing at the sky as stars winked into being in the growing blue.

Tav stood by the fire, her lush silver hair hanging to her mid-back, slight curls forming as it dried. She warmed her hands and face, pulling a log close to the blaze and stretching like a contented cat. The incident on the road earlier had left her feeling prickly in her own skin, and the impromptu shower under the waterfall had helped immensely to center her. She had sought Gale out to apologize again, but he had reassured her that no harm had been done, and he would know, in future, to announce himself thoroughly before attempting to converse. She had offered to mend his robe, or buy him a new one at the next vendor’s stall they passed, but he had waved her off and cast mending with a flourish and the tear knit itself together with no evidence it had been there at all.

Gale was now happily puttering around their makeshift kitchen, a collection of logs and planks set up around a metal grate over the fire, providing himself with a running commentary on each ingredient and its myriad uses. The meal tonight smelled like it would be fantastic. They had managed to swipe a load of potatoes, carrots, and onions from an abandoned storehouse, and Halsin and Astarion had taken down a small boar in the outskirts of the wood. They had sauntered back into camp, the boar slung limp over Halsin’s shoulder, blood entirely covering a grinning Astarion down the front of his ruffled shirt. The vampire had shot Tav a fiendish look, sharp white fangs stark in the sea of dark red blood staining his face. She had felt a familiar heat creep into her cheeks and had coyly looked away, busying herself with peeling the carrots for their stew.

After he and Halsin had returned from washing up under the waterfall, Astarion’s shirt soaked through to translucence from scrubbing out all the boar’s blood, the vampire had retreated to his tent for a “blood nap”, as he called them. Once the vegetables and boar were all prepped, Gale had shooed the rest of the companions from the kitchen to “work his true magic”. They all complied willingly, relishing the opportunity to take a much needed break, Karlach immediately running and making a wild leap off the waterfall to splash, steaming, into the lake below.

As the aromas of the ever more enticing stew wafted through camp she felt lulled into a drowsy cocoon. Her life in the Underdark had rarely included moments of stillness and peace like this. She had spent years scraping together every meal she ate with the point of a dagger or her skills in thieving. She had taken a handful of other desperate children under her wing and created a semblance of a family, but the cut-throat nature of Drow society and the harsh realities of living in Menzoberranzan had whittled the few she trusted down to one. The times had changed, power shifting into the hands of ever more brutal and bloodthirsty houses, and she had been forced to abandon the cadre of child thieves under her protection to shield them from the greater harm of association with her.

When she had entered the Trade, gaining a spot at a high class brothel near the upper city, she had resigned herself to the life, unsure of any other paths before her. There she had languished, safe and protected from starvation or assassination for the first time, all the while falling into a numb and hopeless place inside herself. The decades passed and she had begun to lose a grip on who she truly was, when an opportunity to service a renowned member of the house Baenre appeared to fall into her waiting lap. She should have seen the warning signs, but her senses and wit had been dulled by years of malaise, and she accepted the contract to meet the noble away from the safety of her parlor. It had, of course, been a ruse from the start, set up by a rival in her establishment intent on taking her out of the competition. She had sold Tav to a twisted cult of Lolth, who, instead of seeing it as a punishment for failing the Queen of Spiders, sought to transform into a race of driders, so as to be reforged in the image of their goddess. Escaping from their clutches had nearly killed her. When she had made it to the surface, near starved and dying of blood loss, the gods must have been watching. The crumbling shaft she had hauled herself out of as it eroded beneath her into a gaping chasm below had led her straight onto the land of a kind tiefling couple, one of whom was a retired cleric.

Her ordeal with the cult had left her scarred, but had also somehow imbued her with the power of storms and awoken a latent sorcery within her. Her skin now pulsed with lightning and she wielded jagged bolts of it like she had known how all her life. Her eyes had shifted from the harsh, bloody red of the Drow to irises of deep jet shot through with streaks of stark white. Her hair had begun to darken, streaks of stormcloud and iron now running through the typical moonlight silver of her people. She was glad of the change, the eyes allowing her to put the sufacers at ease, their heads full of tales of violent, red eyed drow breaching topside and stealing folks to take as slaves. Their fears weren’t truly unfounded, but she was glad to have a measure of separation from those who might actually pose a threat.

Tav was shaken from her memories by a cool hand gently resting on her shoulder. She flinched away but kept her reaction minimal.

“Sorry, darling” Astarion wore an expression of apprehension and quickly snatched his hand away from her, dancing out of her reach. “I called your name a few times, you were leagues away.”

“It’s ok, thanks for trying, anyway.” Her startle response had been a problem for years, and after the events on the nautiloid she had been having a much more difficult time keeping her cool. She took a few steadying breaths deep into her diaphragm, lowering her eyes, but not before she noticed Astarion watching with mouth slightly agape at the rise and fall of her chest. He sank down beside her, tucking his legs under him and sitting angled toward her on his heels.

“Of course, dear. I would hate to end up in Gale’s position, face shoved down with my ass in the air.” It seemed as if the image he conjured must have held a different context to him as a pale flush bloomed on his cheeks. The blood of the boar he had drank earlier rose to the surface of his ivory skin to leave a kiss of his embarrassment behind. She hadn’t known a vampire could blush and, without thought, reached out a finger to trace the color in a feather-light touch across the ridge of his cheekbone.

“Pretty,” She mused, “You blush such a light shade of rose.”

Astarion looked stunned, his normally narrowed and suspicious eyes relaxing into round, open pools. “I’m blushing?” he whispered, almost to himself, his crimson gaze clouding over and turning inward. “How odd.”

“You don’t do that often, I take it?” Tav asked softly, trying not to break the spell that had him so unguarded and honest before her.

“No, not for a long while.” He replied, sounding far away and wistful. His voice, though still melodic, lacked any of the affected cadence she was used to. His tone was flat and distant, pulling at her heart with the familiar note of dissociation she recognized in herself.

As though he was coming up for air after being deep underwater, he took in a long gulp of the night air. Shaking his head to distance himself from whatever he had been seeing there, he turned fully toward her. His eyes had gone back to their customary sultry slant, his disguise fully reapplied to his features.

Well, I got somewhere at least. Tav thought as he took her hand and pressed a gentlemanly kiss to her knuckles. He smoldered up at her through his lashes, strong brow casting an alluring shadow across his blazing scarlet irises.

“We really must discuss this crush of yours, darling.” His lips continued to brush her knuckles as he held her hand just barely away from his lips. She felt small thrills run through her at the delicate contact. “Whatever shall we do to ease your frustrations”

She laughed then, tossing her head back and letting the sound pull from the bottom of her throat, loud and hearty. Astarion pulled back from her with a look of surprised indignance.

“Is that really how you seduce your marks, Astarion?” She fought to keep from growing hysterical, struggling to get her words out in an unbroken question. “Your material is a bit tired, don’t you think?”

He shrank back from her, pulling his hand to his chest in animated effrontery. “How DARE you” he hissed, the corners of his mouth pulling ever so slightly upwards as he plastered a visage of hurt across his features. “I’ll have you know my lines have worked on an endless parade of lovers, with nary a complaint in a century.”

A thought came, unbidden, to her mind and she had to swallow it down before it ruined the playful banter between them. Could they really have complained if they were all dead in the morning? She knew it was unfair, that he had acted under the compulsion of his torturer Cazador, but a part of her wanted to remind him that he wasn’t the only one here who had gotten on their backs for a pittance. She allowed the thought to slide off her and away, like a leaf on the surface of a moving stream. She caught his eyes once more and grinned, only a little forced.

“I could teach you all the best lines from the City of Spiders, if you like.” she offered. “They may not fully mesh with the culture up here, but…” she trailed off as she saw the quizzical look on his face, the slight sideways tilt to his head as he stared. “What?”

“You…” He stammered, reaching for her hand again reflexively “Have you…?”

“Yes Astarion,” Tav intoned “I worked in the Trade for many, many years. How did you miss that? I haven’t exactly been coy about it.”

“I guess I must not have… caught that tidbit, somehow.” His voice was beginning to reclaim its natural rhythm, like he was slowly coming out of a haze.

“Well, truth be told, I’m not always too excited to talk about that part of my life, as you might imagine.” Tav held his gaze, eyes searching for understanding. “I just thought you could use a few new lines for when you try to get me in your bed.”

From behind them she heard a spluttering cough followed by a series of gasping, wet breaths as Gale, who had clearly been eavesdropping, choked on the wine that had been halfway down his throat. He tried to pantomime his disinterest, busying himself with clearing the makeshift countertops and setting bowls out for everyone’s dinner.

Astarion, normally one to find Gale’s antics irksome, looked almost relieved at the wizard’s timely interruption. The faint rosy blush on his cheeks deepened and spread to his throat and the soft skin of his lips.

“My, aren’t we forward this evening.” He murmured, one flushed lip curling up to reveal a sharp fang.

“I just don’t see the point in dancing around the subject. We’re all adults here. I know you are interested in me, at least for my blood, and I am perfectly willing to admit I find you attractive. Does it really come as a surprise?”

“Not a surprise, darling” He crooned, regaining his composure, “I am simply used to a less, direct approach. I’ll admit, it could be…rather refreshing to drop the pretense.” He shifted slightly closer to her, taking her hand and shooting a glare over her shoulder to where Gale had frozen in his preparations to listen intently again. Astarion lowered his voice to a growling whisper and leaned into her ear to breathe “Just tell me when, and I’ll be happy to oblige, darling.”

He stood quickly then, retreating as Gale cleared his throat and called the rest of the camp in for their meal. Tav watched as Astarion slinked out of the circle of firelight, posture somewhat less composed than normal. As he stalked away toward the true dark at the edge of the forest a shaft of moonlight struck him for a split second, revealing the deep rose bloom on the tips of his ears.

#astarion #bg3 spoilers #spawn astarion #astarion x tav #bg3 tav #my tav #baldurs gate #bg3 #fluff #oc lore #backstory #first post #please be kind #but also honest

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