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#but anyway you can have this one for tonight and we'll see what i have for you tomorrow and for the rest of the week hopefully! :D
captain-mj · 3 days
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I’m gonna need Roacj to come and sweep Simon off his feet and Soap to be heart broken and full of regret. He doesn’t deserve Ghost
Why not!! Previous part for my folks interested
Ghost had listened to Price for once and he hadn't touched Soap's messages. Eventually, they slowed down, but eight days after the incident and he still received one each morning and each night. They ran into each other a few times, but Ghost would simply walk right past him.
Price managed to get Ghost permission to use his flat, due to how close base was, for the next little while which was a huge relief for him.
It had gotten late at night and Ghost had taken another "special cigar" from Price and he checked the most recent message from Soap. Just the most recent one.
"Please, Si, talk to me. It won't happen again." From two hours ago.
Ghost thought it over and then texted back. "Soap, we're not going to work out. Easier for us both to cut our losses."
"That's all you have to say? We exchanged I love you's. I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life."
"And how many people this week have you given that line too, huh? Either zip it or get blocked."
When another message came through, he went to his most recent messages with Price. "I want to go on that date. With Bug or whatever his name is."
"Roach, but yeah. I can make it happen." Price answered a little too fast and Ghost decided he didn't want to know why he was still up at this hour. He blocked Soap for the time being and enjoyed the rest of his high until he managed to fall asleep.
By morning, he had received the information for a reservation at 7 pm at a restaurant he liked well enough. A little more formal than he'd choose for a first date, but he planned to use Price's card for it anyway. Ever since Graves started funding the man, he had more money than he really needed and Ghost was more than happy to help him with the problem.
He didn't unblock Soap to see how many new messages he sent. He simply left his phone on his dresser and went about his day until 6. Only then did he check his phone to see a message from a new number. "Hey, Ghost! This is Roach (or Bug lol). I wanted to text you before we went on our date."
Ghost winced when he saw the poor guy had sent that message had been sent hours ago. "Left my phone in my room."
It took a few minutes before he heard the little ding of his phone. "That's alright. I know you're a busy man. Are you planning on wearing your mask tonight?"
Then a selfie came and Ghost regretted not taking Price up on this blind date sooner. Roach had his mask on, but his eyes and hair were free. He was so cute. Ghost didn't usually use that word to describe men, but that's what Roach was.
Big brown eyes and the hint of freckles. Soft looking hair that curled and stuck up everywhere. "I wanted to make sure you knew what I looked like."
Ghost hesitated before sending a picture of himself, just a medical mask on so they were on semi equal footing.
"You're just as handsome as Laswell said you would be."
His heart did something weird. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. "Thanks. You're not bad yourself."
"You flatter me, Ghost. I do need to talk to you about something before we go tonight."
Ghost gritted his teeth. "Alright."
"I'm mute. I carn hear just fine and I'm willing to text or write things down."
"Do you know BSL?"
"The basics. I mostly use ASL."
"We'll use BSL until I'm better ASL then. I'll meet you tonight, I'm going to get dressed before I'm late. It would be a horrible first impression."
Roach responded with a thumbs up. Unknown to Ghost, Roach was glad for the reprieve because Ghost casually letting him know he'd just learn a language for him before they even went on a first date (as well as letting him know they had an easy way to communicate until he finished learning the language) had his own heart doing palpitations. And that was before he even thought of Ghost's picture again.
Handsome had been understating it. He had wanted to actually ask Ghost if he wanted a new dog because he could be a really good one. But Laswell and Price had let him on the fact that Ghost's last relationship hadn't ended very well and that he'd need to be eased into it a little. So he pulled himself back and gave a much more calm response.
Both of them met each other in the front of the restaurant while waiting for host to seat them. The sparks were immediate, Ghost finding himself having a hard time looking away from Roach's eyes.
Roach pulled out Ghost's seat which surprised him a little. He still sat down though and hummed his appreciation. "Also, I'll be paying. More accurately, Price will be paying."
Even with only half of his face showing and no voice, Roach was easily the most expressive person Ghost had ever seen. They found ASL and BSL had more common signs than they first thought, but occasionally they'd run into signs with different or even contradictory meanings that would make them bring out their phones to compare.
"Oh, do you want me to order for ya? I can't imagine it's that easy ordering." While Ghost was sure that the staff would try to be accommodating, if Roach didn't want to deal with it, he'd be happy to help.
Roach immediately looked relieved and nodded, showing Ghost what he wanted. He was leaning forward and Ghost could see the start of the scar at the base of his throat that led underneath the mask.
Roach was incredibly smart. Not that Soap wasn't, he was mad at him, but he didn't think he was stupid as some people joked. But Roach had such in depth knowledge about a long, long list of topics and he didn't shy away from learning more about any gaps.
Occasionally Roach would single for Ghost to pull his mask down. He almost managed to keep the waitstaff from seeing his face at all, though there were a few times Roach had visibly been too wrapped up in what he was saying to notice when one of them was coming. He was less shy about showing his face than Ghost, though he clearly didn't like it.
They spent so much time talking, about how different insects are classified and the differences between British and American branches and what it's like being mute in the military, especially since his muteness was caused by an injury from the military, that the waitress had to not so subtly interrupt to ask if there was two bills or one.
Ghost told her one and gave her Price's card, eyes never leaving Roach's. He didn't want the night to end. "Do you want to go somewhere else?"
Roach signed back. "Want to get milkshakes and walk around somewhere?"
Ghost thought that was a very bizarre thing to do. "Yeah. Why not."
So they left. They hired an uber and kept talking, switching to only sign language so the poor driver wouldn't hear them arguing over the superior breakfast food. Ghost didn't actually believe it was beans on toast, but he knew he drove any not from Britain crazy. Roach was insisting it was biscuits and gravy. Eventually, the bug brushed him off and said he'd make them for him in the morning.
"Oh? That convinced we'll go home together?"
Roach glanced at him. "If it's not moving too fast for you."
Ghost blinked at him, stopping and actually thinking about it. "Yeah. I'd like to take you home."
Roach smiled. "You owe me a milkshake first though."
Ghost did in fact buy him a milkshake, with his own card even, before they walked around a park. At one point, Roach motioned at Ghost's milkshake a few times and Ghost offered him a taste. Roach tried his chocolate malt and nodded appreciatively. He offered his banana milkshake for Ghost to try. They didn't break eye contact as he tried it.
"It's good."
Roach smiled at him and moved a little closer. He used just one of his hands, but he signed it real slow. "Want to see what they taste like together?"
Ghost was kissing him before he even finished.
They did, in fact, go back to Ghost's flat and got very acquainted with his bed specifically.
And Roach did make him biscuits and gravy in the morning. Ghost reluctantly admitted that it beat beans on toast. Then, he admitted he didn't actually like beans on toast.
Roach hit his shoulder rather hard and ate with a little faux anger until that got boring and he was back to talking. Well, in between bites of food.
When the doorbell rang, Ghost's heart sank. "Not many people have my address." He grabbed a gun.
Roach looked a little amused at the weapon but nodded and made a motion for his own. Ghost did indeed provide one to him before pullling on a mask and answering the door.
Johnny was there. He was only Johnny cause he was out of uniform. "Hey."
"Hi." Simon felt disillusioned. The past 12 or so hours had honestly been perfect. With Soap, he had always had to explain things. Push back. There was always an effort on both parts to make the other feel comfortable. And while Roach seemed more than willing to put in effort and Ghost definitely felt he would, it didn't feel necessary to. They just kinda... fit in a way Ghost was realizing that he never did with Soap.
It was a weird thought. When he found out about Soap's casual fucking of half the base, he prepared himself to spiral. And he had even started. But now that he had a very successful date, and the most mind blowing night of his life cause Roach knew how to do things with his tongue, he felt like he had very suddenly just moved on. He didn't even notice it had happened. During his whole date, Soap hadn't crossed his mind at all.
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Ghost responded, cause it was. While the memory still hurt and he wasn't sure he could work with Soap any time soon, it took more energy at this point to keep thinking about it. Energy he didn't want to keep spending on MacTavish. "Listen, I'm busy."
"Going somewhere? I can walk with you. I would like to... talk..." Soap was looking past Ghost now and directly at Roach.
"Ah. This is Sergeant Sanderson. He's American, visiting in the area for a mission Laswell sent him on."
"And he's wearing your clothes?"
"We also slept together."
Soap's face went through a range of emotions. Jealousy, guilt, a strange tinge of relief that Ghost didn't want to unpack, then anger that didn't fit the situation in Ghost's opinion. He didn't respond. It felt like they just ran out of things to say. "Simon."
Roach used the butt of the gun, tapping it against the wall. His eyes narrowed at Soap with a strangely dangerous look.
"Ghost."
Another tap against the wall.
"Lieutenant Riley." Soap hissed through his teeth.
Roach seemed satisfied with that, grabbing Ghost's arm and leaning against his side. He tugged his sleeve to get his attention and jerked his head back to show he wanted to get back to eating with him.
"Sorry, bug. If you want to go sit down, I'll only be another minute."
Roach didn't look sure but nodded. He grabbed Ghost's hand and gave it a small kiss through the fabric of his mask. Ghost wasn't sure he even knew when he put it back on, but he looked just as lovely either way.
Only when Roach was clearly gone, did Soap speak back up. "Replace me that fast huh?"
"At least I made it clear we were through before fucking him."
"Look-"
"No." Ghost cut him off and shook his head. "I don't want to fight. Truly, I don't. We're done. I don't want this. I don't want you."
Soap frowned more and there was clearly hesitation. "Si."
"I never liked that nickname. My brother used it when we were little. I realized last night you never asked. First thing Roach did was ask if I had any family left. He's incredibly considerate. He's so nice to me. Last night, he did things while we were out that I couldn't remember anyone doing for me before. The man made me breakfast for fuck's sake."
"I could've made you breakfast." It sounded vaguely petulant. A last plea of some sorts that fell flat before it even left his tongue.
"Yeah. You could've."
Roach had finished his plate and looked a little upset. He signed at him. "I didn't like how he talked to you."
"I saw. Don't like people calling me Simon."
Roach shook his head. "You're a lieutenant. They should call you that."
"They? You not included in that Sergeant?"
"I get special privileges."
"Cause you're pretty?"
"Cause I'm yours."
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ihamtmus · 9 days
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#there's a flood coming to my city 😬#the wave is supposed to hit tomorrow at night#i'm a bit worried?#they say it's gonna be similae to 1997#which is. not good.#everyone at work was panicking which did not help#they said the water is almost sold out in shops#and i couldn't go to the shop to buy it because i was. at work.#so i messaged my dad and he bought some for me and he'll drive over to bring it to me#his town doesn't have a big river so you can still buy water there lmao#i asked him to buy me some non perishable food like rice crackers while he was at it too#and now i'm scared that he and my mom will buy out the entire shop and i'll have to eat those things for months 😬#they can be like that sometimes haha#yeah they most definitely will bring over the whole car full of food what do i do 😭#anyway my main concern is the lack of electricity because the stupid stove in this flat doesn't use gas ;_;#gotta charge the powerbanks 💪#people are also worried that we'll go to work tomorrow and then it'll turn out the road is flooded and we'll have to stay at work overnight#lmaoooo why won't the company just give everyone the week off?? (because of capitalism)#my sister has a two months old baby and she is leaving the city tonight to stay with our grandma#they do need clean water for the baby and the government recommended the children and the elderly to evacuate#i'd evacuate myself if it wasn't for my work 😭 (capitalism)#aghhh i'm sure it's not gonna be that bad#it's just my first flood you see#well technically the second one because i was born in 1997 hahaha but yeah. yeah.#i do like my warm meals and hot tea and i do like to shower#i do hope it'll last 2 days max!! but a friend says it can last longer depending on the damage ;_;#i know i can't really complain because i at least live on the 5th floor#my sister lives on the first floor. right by the river. yeah...#not to mention the people in surrounding villages#someone at work said that the water reached the third floor in some places in 1997 wtf 😭
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I can't sleep.
I think something is about to happen. Something really wrong. I can't explain it to myself, but I just know it. Deep in my guts, I know it.
I feel like every step we take brings us closer to the end, somehow.
We're about a day away from Alcura. We've mostly met passive creatures, the kind that run away when they see you. Sometimes they stare, long enough to give you the creeps.
There's always one that stares for too long. One that makes you feel like you're their prey, their object of curiosity. You never know how they think, you just know they stare. You see their eyes, so big, so dead, and you could swear there's something behind those fucking eyes.
Ava doesn't say anything. Me neither. We haven't talked in...I think we haven't talked in a week, at least. Sometimes shit go wild between us.
It's back. Staring again. Fuck, that thing is seriously creeping the fuck out of me. Ava is sleeping. Usually she would stare back until it would leave.
I can't do that. I'm not superstitious, I know Ava always says I am, I'm not, but you know what they say about those who stare back? They always get snapped from the sides. So busy looking straight into the dead eyes in front of them, they get too caught up in the moment and forget to watch their sides. That's how Big Grum got torn to shred.
I'll keep a side-eye on that thing. I feel like it's been following us, but I'm not sure. But it's been days and I can't sleep. I can't fucking sleep because whenever I close my eyes I feel my heart...I fucking feel that... that presence.
Mami used to tell us that if we feel a presence, we must keep our eyes open, because if we close our eyes, they'll be right there when we open them again.
Right here, in front of us, staring and grinning.
I should really shut up. Writing these things only makes me feel worse. There's no way I'll be sleeping tonight. No fucking way.
I just hope we can reach Alcura tomorrow. I don't feel like being outside with Dead Eyes any longer.
_
Extract from Todd's Journal. - Dead Eyes.
_
Notes from transcriber:
The extract was entitled "Dead Eyes" as a reference to the nickname given to the creature observed by Todd and Ava on their first trip to Alcura. The emphasis on the eyes of the creature became the focus of scholars curiosity, as well as an object of controversies. Dead Eyes has indeed been suspected of being █ █████████ ███████████ ████ ████ ██ ████████ █████ ██ █████████ ████ ███ ███'█ ██████████. (What's Behind The Eyes?, 150-163) ███████████ ████ ██████ ████ ██████ ██████ ██ ██████ ███ ██████, ███ ███ ██ ███ ████ ████ ██ ███ ████████ ██████████. (Archives of Security Register)
Dead Eyes became a recurring image in Todd's journal, and could be found from page 25 to 53, a section of the journal which corresponded to their second trip to Alcura. It also marked the disappearance of Dead Eyes's physical presence - though one can argue that Dead Eyes remained omnipresent in Todd's retelling of their travels, as defended by Elina Baker in Dead Eyes: The Haunting of A Presence (Baker, 23)
Todd often wrote about local beliefs and superstitions, as well as myths and stories he (and Ava) grew up with. The story of Big Grum - accessible on the online version of ARKives (ARKives, Formative Tales) - is what scholars commonly define as a "formative tale" for children, providing them with "life lessons and warnings related to the real life conditions and habits of [their] natal village[s]". (Dictiocon Online)
Todd briefly mentioned an altercation between Ava and himself. He gave no details whatsoever on the matter, but did say that "Sometimes shit go wild between [them]," proving the reccuring arguments they would have while travelling. In another extract entitled Home, Todd wrote about a violent altercation which led both parties to not talk to each other for more than three weeks. He also confided in his journal of this fight being "the worst [they] ever had" and explained how "miserable" it made him feel. (Home, 84)
_
@chaoticvampirejedi @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s
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peachesofteal · 3 months
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Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader - warnings: 18+ daddy kink, sexual content, phone sex
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"Whit do ye think, LT?"
Simon vaguely hears Johnny's voice. It's somewhere in the background, something he's not dialed into right at this moment, since they're not in an active situation.
For now.
Instead, they're all holed up in safe house with shitty mattresses, shitty couches, and thin walls crowded inside a concrete box. Simon's on his back, on the couch, flicking through his camera roll, picture after picture of you and the baby filling the screen. There are new ones, ones you've sent over the last three weeks, and when he fires off a text to let you know his phone is on for a little bit, you send a video back almost immediately.
"That the wee one?" Johnny says from over his shoulder, and Simon nods, clicking play.
"Okay Ry, let's show daddy," Orion's on his tummy in the living room, holding his head up, staring at you behind the phone. He's giggling a little, smiling, wriggling around, and you place one of his toys just out of his reach, to the left. "You can do it bub, come on. Daddy wants to see." There's more encouragement, Orion rocking back and forth on his belly and kicking his feet-
before rolling over completely onto his back.
"Good job bub! What a strong boy." You pull him into your arms, his back to your chest, legs up over yours, and turn the phone so the video shows both of you. "So, that's a thing." You smile, and kiss his head. "Think we'll have a crawler on our hands soon." Something sad flickers in your gaze and you chase it away. "Anyway, we uh... we miss you. Call tonight?" A knot forms in his throat, and he practically leaps off the couch, making for the back door. Johnny calls after him, but he pays it no mind.
>Can you take a call now?
>You just missed him, I'm so sorry. He's asleep :(
>That's okay. I want to talk to you.
>Okay, sure.
"Hello?" You're not quite whispering, but your voice is still soft, careful, and he closes his eyes.
"Hey."
"Hey. How are you?"
"Fine. Can't believe he's rolling over." You stifle a small laugh.
"I know. He's going to be crawling soon, I can feel it. Keeps trying to push himself up with his arms and scoot his legs forward. It's cute. He looks like a seal." You sigh, and he gets lost in it, honey sweet spiderweb trapping him in the middle, tangling him up for the feast, your fangs already deeply embedded in his flesh.
That's what you are. Something under his skin. Something possessing him down to the marrow. A man who only takes orders from one other-
willing to say 'how high' if you would only say 'jump'.
He hears his promise every day, every night, ringing in his ears.
Johnny thinks he's flipped a switch somewhere. Gaz says he's more bloodthirsty than he's ever seen.
John just smiles at him, a knowing look in his eye, a mutual understanding.
He's going home, no matter what. If he has to kill every single soul he comes across, that's what happens.
He made a promise.
"Hope he waits." He tries to control the rough scrape of his voice, but it's still there.
"I'm sure he will." You're gentle in your reassurance, kind. His kitten.
"How's he doin' otherwise?"
"Good. Fussing has calmed down a bit, thank god, but I think he misses daddy."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," you pause, small intake of breath, a barely there gasp. "I miss him too." He takes a cursory look around, and then drops the tone of his voice.
"Y'miss daddy, sweet girl?" The two of you have been dancing around this, for the last week. Since landing at the safe house, he's been able to call almost every night, sometimes he catches Orion when he's up and sometimes he only catches you, and recently, you've been engaging him with sexually charged late night conversations that make him jerk his cock behind a locked door somewhere, and come into his own hand.
Feels like a waste. He wonders if you'd let him get you pregnant again.
He doesn't even know if you can have sex right now, to be honest. He knows you tore, badly. Knows you had stitches. Knows you're probably still nursing the wounds, physically and mentally.
That's okay. He'll wait. He'll wait as long as he needs to. For this. For you.
He doesn't know where the change came from either, but he's not complaining. Or questioning. He's indulging and dreaming and telling you to reach into your pajama pants to touch yourself for him while he's tossing off on the other end of the line.
If he had to guess, he'd say the distance has given you some sort of courage, some sort of emboldenment to feel it out, gain comfortability.
The killing makes him extra rank, fills him with ardor for you, for his life now. He's always felt purpose, devotion, to his job, the 141, but now, there's a higher altar to lay himself at, a higher calling.
Getting a ring on your finger, for one.
"Are you in bed mama?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah? Gonna play with your pussy for me?"
"Oh god." You groan, but it's breathy, wild on the other end of the line, a whole world away.
"Tell daddy what you're doing, honey." He's rock hard, so much it aches, but he's not going to fulfill the burning need right now. He wants to be focused on you. "Are you touching yourself?"
"Y-yes."
"Does it feel nice?" You whine. "Rubbing your pretty little clit f'me, making it feel good?”
"Oh my god- yeah."
"Daddy's so proud of you, sweetheart. Taking such good care of Orion. Taking good care of yourself, making yourself cum since he can't be there to do it for you." You moan, unintelligible, nectarous melody on the wind. "I wish I was there. I think about the night we made our baby all the time, how you looked spread out on your bed, taking all my cum like a good girl."
"Oh, oh-"
"Took my cock so pretty, mama. Did so good, fit me like a glove." You're panting, tiny, bright whines slipping free, and he knows you're close. "Don't stop. Let me hear you." He orders, slipping a palm over the swollen mass of his cock.
"Fuck, daddy-"
"Keep going honey, come on." He can nearly hear your teeth grinding.
"I'm cumming, oh- daddy, I'm, I'm-" There's a shuffle, a high pitched gasp, and then you go silent, breathing heavily into the phone.
"Good job, mama."
He's sour by the end of week four. Muscles tight from the agony of being away, awful visions, nightmares, rotting the frontside of his brain when he closes his eyes.
The balaclava is heavy with blood now, everyday. Red stains white, fetid and curdled, trying to strain through his teeth.
They've moved from the safe house. The phone calls are only a dream. He turns his phone on for five minutes every other day, desperate to download the photos you're sending, only to get one out of the ten. Can't text you back.
At night, he stands outside with his chin tilted up, orientating himself with the skies, searching for Orion in the cosmic chaos. It takes time, too long, but eventually he spots it, south west in the sky, glittering alongside the moon. His stars. His moon.
John tries to temper him. "You'll have to get better at this, if you're planning to stay, Simon. It won't get easier, but you can ease the ache."
It's never been a question about staying, he's served the 141 for far too long to give it up now. The want is incredibly selfish, but he doesn't consider himself the other kind of man, the one who would take a desk job or sacrifice his duty. His life's work, essentially.
He's not a good man. But he's yours. He won't have it any other way.
Kyle's got a girl at home now, he tells Simon. Maybe we should introduce them, ya know LT? Give em someone to lean on, when we're gone. A brilliant idea, if he's ever heard one. Though he's not surprised. Gaz is the top of his class in everything.
He and Johnny speed run through the last part of the op, raining hell down upon everyone in his path, and he finally sees that crazy glint in Soap's eyes, the one that's been missing this entire time.
"Was fun, LT." He slurs the night before exfil, glass of whiskey lax in his hand. "Almost sad to be goin' home."
Not too long ago, he might agree. But now that he's staring down the barrel of five and a half too long weeks, he can't wait for it to be over.
>Hey
>Hey omg, I've been worried.
>All's good. On our way to base now. Gonna shower here, change. Alright if I come over after?
>Yes.
He’s a livewire stepping off the bird. Three paces behind Gaz, he’s trying to type out a text to you, hardly paying attention, spreading his stride to close the gap between him and the showers.
“Hey darling.” Gaz is wrapping someone up in his arms, pretty little thing with dimples, Simon barely glances up-
And then nearly trips over his boots, tongue tied to see you standing behind Kyle’s new girl, sundress swinging at your thighs, Orion babbling away on your hip.
His bag drops.
He sprints.
“Ah!” You shriek as he tugs you into him, lifting you and the baby with an arm under the plush of your ass. “Simon, oh my god-“ you curl forward, free hand gripping his shoulder, and he presses his mouth to yours.
“Missed you mama.” Your top teeth bite into your bottom lip, bashful and sweet. “You too, bub.” You kiss him again, longer this time, ignoring the whooping from Johnny in the background.
“Welcome home.”
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gotham-daydreams · 5 months
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Not Now (PT. 2)
[Platonic! Yandere! Neglectful Batfam × Gender Neutral! Sibling Reader]
[Warnings: Mentions of Neglect, Mild General Yandere(ish) Behavior, Arguing, Awkward Tension(?), No One is Having a Good Time, Angst, Implied Past Injuries (To Reader)]
(When I say arguing I do mean it this time. Might be a bit more OOC? Dick is living up to his nickname. This is longer than the first part, just fyi - and by a good 4k or so words. Again, take your time and remember to take breaks!)
Didn't tag anyone on this post since both this part and the first are posted back to back :] Regardless, enjoy!
Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3 (PT. 1). [Series Masterlist]
๑۩۞۩๑————————————————————๑۩۞۩๑
"I… I just don't think it's a good idea. It doesn't feel right, and- and I…" You couldn't think of much else to say. All the reasons you had felt too personal, and you didn't feel comfortable telling Dick any of them. Not out here, and certainly not while he was in the suit. Though even if he wasn't, you weren't sure that it'd make you any more willing to tell him anything. 
After all, you wouldn't even share the date of your birthday if he asked now, with or without the suit.
"Yeah, but why? It doesn't make sense to not go to either place just because you have a ‘bad feeling’ or anything. Even then, you'll be safe, and that's what really matters." That didn't feel like it was the case. Your safety doesn't feel like a priority over him just being able to keep an eye on you, and being able to pull anything he wants to without any prying eyes.
Though it was with that thought, did you wonder when you began to see Dick as someone so untrustworthy that you considered him to be on the same level as a thug out on the streets. Just far more dangerous and capable.
"Look, I just-" You sigh harshly, looking back at Dick as the fire in your chest rose, building up as it poked at your ribs and flesh. Begging for more air, more room to grow. "I'm going to the park. If you're not coming then that's fine by me, and if you're not okay with that, then there's nothing I can do about it." You state, looking forward as you pick up your pace. 
Dick fumbles over his words before he hurriedly matches your pace, "Wait! Let's try and think this over-"
"Why? Even if we're out in the open, you're still a vigilante. If you can defend and look after an entire city, then surely you can protect one person, right? Not to mention that I can take care of myself." You huff, still keeping your eyes forward even as they narrow. You add, "Besides, again- not many people are out tonight. And if anything- seem to be rushing home, because of whatever is going on. We'll be fine."
"Sure. Yeah. I can handle it- but wouldn't it be smarter to just be inside anyway? That way it's less likely for anything to happen. You have to think rationally-" You swiftly cut Dick off again, really trying to put your foot down and stand your ground here.
"I am thinking rationally. You're a skilled vigilante that's been trained under Batman, and have only improved in skill and technique over the years. If anything goes wrong, and I can't handle it, you can. Not to mention that you have a way to contact the others if things really do go sideways, and you're in the suit. I didn't think I needed to say anything else." You sigh, lightly scratching the cup in your hands with your nail.
"Also, if you haven't noticed, even criminals and thugs are running home. It's like some kind of quarantine or lock down is going on. Some random person eavesdropping on us doesn't seem like it'll be a problem. Let alone with all of the noises that seem to be 'persuading' people to go home."
Dick could only sigh himself before saying, "Alright- okay. Fine. But like you said, I'm still in the suit."
"And?"
"And someone could see, and think that you're a close tie to me or something. You could be put in more danger."
"Are you actually worried about that now? You've been walking beside me this entire time when you didn't have to, and it's only now that you're worried about me being seen with you in the suit?"
"How else are we supposed to have this conversation? And I'm sorry for being worried about your safety, and well-being in the future for being seen with me." You could practically hear the eye-roll in Dick's voice despite knowing that he didn't actually do it. When did he get so sarcastic?
"That's not the issue, and you know that. We could've figured out some other way to have this talk, and you didn't have to walk beside me this entire time." You shot him a glance, causing Dick to sigh again.
"What if something happened while I was up top, and I couldn't react fast enough because I wasn't next to you? Someone could've tried something if I wasn't there, especially because you'd appear to be by yourself."
"So… remind me again, who's the paranoid one?"
"Y/n, I'm being serious." Dick states.
"I know. I'm being serious too, and I'm just saying that it's kind of ridiculous to be worrying about that now when it's already been a few minutes." You huff, "And I don't know what you expect me to do about it. I'm not the one in the suit, y'know. Why don't you just go and change somewhere?"
Dick rubs his nose bridge, getting annoyed but not trying to show it as he says, "Fine. I can do that, but at least come with me." He looks at you expectantly as his hand drops from his face. You couldn't help but raise a brow at his words.
"Why?"
"So that I can keep an eye on you…? And if anything happens while I'm changing- I'll be able to jump in and help much faster?" Dick said, confused. Talking as if he was stating the obvious, and maybe he was in a way, but you didn't see why he's so adamant about being close to you enough where he could easily protect you or reach you if needed.
"But wouldn't that kind of go against the point of you changing…?"
"What do you mean?"
"If I wait somewhere and Nightwing walks off, only for you-know-who to pop up after a little while, and we walk off together, wouldn't that be weird? Or at least hint at a certain something?" You point out, a little confused and surprised that you even had to explain this to Dick.
"C'mon, I won't be that obvious. And even then, no one will be able to figure it out."
"You say that like every other villain or wannabe in Gotham isn't some genius or anything. They're criminals and all that, but they aren't entirely stupid."
Dick sighs, though it came out more frustrated than he would’ve liked as he ran a hand through his hair once again, "Still, I'd just like for you to at least be close by. I don't want anything to happen to you, and I want to be able to help out as soon and as quickly as I can if anything does." He explains, getting a little closer to you.
"Please, Y/n. Just come with me."
You shake your head, your shoulders feeling far too heavy, and the flame in your chest was much too hot for you to even think about it. You knew Dick wasn't happy about it when he gave you a little room, but still kept close. As if hoping you'd change your mind, despite already knowing the answer.
"I'll just head to the park, and wait a few minutes. I'm not defenseless and can handle myself for a while, and it's not my fault that I could be in more potential danger because someone thought it was a good idea to come see me, and follow me around while in their suit. You can figure it out, and live without me for a few minutes." You huff harshly, adding, "If you aren't there after that time? I'm leaving. That's all." Once again, you pick up your pace, only to be stopped by Dick as he rushes in front of you.
"Wait- hold on. Are you sure about this? I don't think it's a good idea- and how long exactly will you be waiting? Where are you going if you leave? Are you going back to the apartment? Are you going home?" You don't like how hopeful Dick looked when he asked you that last question, but you push your discomfort to the side, and stand your ground.
"I'm an adult, and I'm a L/n. I'm sure about this. You can think whatever you want, and like I said- I'll be waiting a few minutes. If you're not there by then, I'm going to leave." You narrow your eyes at Dick, piercing him with your gaze as you said, "I've made my choice and I'm sticking to it. If you're not happy about it, or don't agree, then you can leave and I'll go on with my night. I'll wait at the park, and that's that." You state one final time before making your way around Dick, and continuing to walk forward. Luckily, he didn't try to stop you again, and if anything — seemed to stop following you entirely.
All you heard was a low scoff from behind you, and the rush of wind.
When you glance back, Dick was gone, and it was only then did you realize how heavy the air felt. Releasing the breath you didn't know you had been holding, you clutch your chest. Your heart aches, and yet you manage to push on.
Tonight wasn't exactly going well for you, but that almost tipped you over the edge.
You were beginning to hate many things about tonight, along with Dick. It almost made you think that maybe you were lucky back when he hardly ever noticed or talked to you. It made things easier, after all, and of course now that you've had your longest conversation with him — things were only getting harder.
Every word he said made him seem bigger, or pushed you down as an attempt to make you smaller. His reasoning could go from making complete sense, to being outright idiotic and paranoid. With each action of his being either too small or way too much. 
Dick, in that way, was too much.
You could chalk up some of your discomfort and nervousness to your lack of experience with Dick, and being around him. Of course some of his antics and habits would seem strange to you — since you were never able to see much of them, and those that you did notice were from a far, and never up close. You weren't able to experience them yourself, not until now. Though that almost made you grateful for all the times he turned you down or ignored you, seeing as now you could only see how much of a handful he is to deal with. 
Maybe that could've changed if you were more familiar with him, but it was too late for that now. Even if you did wonder how this whole thing would've gone if you did know him. If you were more familiar with how Dick acted, and had actually managed to spend time with him. If Dick was more familiar with you, and how that'd change this whole situation… but, again, it was much too late for that. If he really wanted to know you, he would've taken one of the chances you gave him over the years, and yet he didn't. No one did. No one except for Alfred…
You hope he's okay, at least.
Shaking your head, you push your thoughts to the side. There was no use thinking about 'what if's, not when such thoughts and possibilities kept you in the manor for so long. Not when your mind used them against you, and had you keep that pathetic hope you once desperately clung onto. You promised yourself you wouldn't do that anymore, and so you took a breath, and tried to stop them from coming in. They always slip by, but you try to ignore them. Especially since they caused you so much trouble that could have easily been avoided in the past.
You took a small sip of your coffee, only to pull it away and look at the cup strangely. 
It was… bitter. More so than you remember, and it immediately struck you as odd. Since, Jessica always managed to make your coffee the exact same way every time, and even if she did make some mistakes here and there, the change was never this significant or noticeable. Not like it was now, with the taste lingering on your tongue, almost trying to further stain your taste buds and remain there for as long as possible. As if trying to permanently ingrain itself in your mouth.
You couldn't help but cringe a bit. Maybe getting coffee really was a bad idea after all…
Sighing, you just continue on and brush the weird occurrence to the side. Whatever, you have enough things to deal with and worry about now. There wasn't much you could do about the coffee, and if anything, maybe that just went to further show how horrible your night is going thanks to Dick. 
Though, you wouldn't push it that far, even if your opinion of him was definitely souring by the minute, but the thought was pretty funny to think about, at least.
The night felt calm for once, and it’s only now, with you by yourself, do you realize how much you needed this.
Sure, Gotham was potentially going to hell, and you might see Dick again in a few minutes, but you don't have to worry about that right now. Just here, in the streets, did you have… normal problems. Problems unrelated to a family you no longer wanted to involve yourself with, that also just so happened to be made up of vigilantes. Problems that didn't involve your musical career, and how your rise to fame was becoming both an inconvenience, and a bit of an issue. Problems that… just about everyone has dealt with one way or another.
Your coffee didn't taste quite right, you felt exhausted despite having only walked a bit, and your social battery was just about to hit its limit. The air was just a tad too cold for the clothes you were wearing, you had a strong desire to crawl into bed and sleep like you had nothing else to worry about, and really — besides yourself and making a few dumb mistakes, the only thing you really had to worry about here was getting mugged. Maybe even jumped, at a push.
Yet, such things got a light, airy laugh out of you. You felt so at ease by yourself, and during the most dangerous hours of the night, no less. Despite everything, you couldn't help but find a bit of humor in it, and such a little thing even made you feel better. That uncomfortable heat in your chest dying down, and almost going away entirely as you cooled off.
As funny as it was, you felt safer and so much more at ease without the person that was so adamant about wanting to do all of these things, to protect you. How could you not laugh at the irony?
Suddenly, the bitter taste on your tongue didn't feel so bad anymore.
Walking along Gotham streets when it was so quiet still made you feel a bit uneasy, but for the time being you were able to find some small peace with it. After all, who knew when you'd get another breather like this? Especially with whatever business Dick had with you. Vigilante and hero work wasn't exactly known to be light and easy, after all. 
So, you took this moment as it is. Finding odd little details in the night that helped you relax as much as you could before things continued.
Honestly, you didn't think you were ready for whatever Dick was about to talk about or mention, but you doubt any of it could surprise you. After all, in a city where a villain breaking out of the local prison or asylum every now and again during the week was normal, it was hard to be surprised by things related to such occurrences. Since, it even felt like someone was trying to blow up the place at least twice a month, and robberies were so common that it was a wonder that anyone had any fortune left to protect at all.
Though it did still make you curious about what’s going on. 
Obviously, it couldn't be any good, but it just seems too… quiet to be anyone that Gotham had already seen before. Seeing as the usual villains and whatnot always made some kind of mess, or made things as extravagant and entertaining as possible. Almost like a certain clown that loved to try and run circles around a certain bat.
Regardless of that, however, you were still more curious about why Dick — or any of the others, really — had bothered to seek you out at all. Sure, the first thing that came to mind was that they need you for something, rather that be for help or something else entirely, but that's only because it made the most sense to you. Why else would they try to find out where you live? You couldn't think of another reason. Though, again, maybe that was because they had ignored you for so long? Even then, you can't think of anything else. 
Besides help and such, nothing else made any logical sense to you. There is no other reason. There couldn't be, and if there is — you couldn't think of it. They couldn't just be here for you. They almost weren't capable of it. You're sure, since they have made it very clear a long time ago. You were just too naive and blind to see it at first, but now you did, and you don't plan on becoming blind to that again…
Nevertheless, you continue on your little path.
Now that Dick wasn't with you, your journey to the park was short, and much more peaceful and quiet. It was almost calm in an odd way, but you appreciated it all the same.
The park held that strange feeling of abandonment and emptiness that most of Gotham seemed to have tonight — thanks to whatever was going on — but you manage to ignore it for the most part. Making your way around the park, your pace was slower and your breath was a bit heavier. You felt like you were prolonging the inevitable, and such a feeling spawned so much dread that you almost choked on it. However, you manage, and instead try to find a good place to sit and wait for the time being.
Sure, it would be easy to leave and just go on with your night, but you did want to stay true to your word even if only a little. It's the least you could do, since this would be the last thing you'd ever do for any of them, anyway. 
Besides, you were better than them in that way — following through with what you said, instead of saying a ‘maybe’ that'll never come, or a ‘next time’ that'll never arrive. Always stuck to a tomorrow that was always just out of reach.
Your words held meaning, unlike theirs.
Moving on, you eventually found a good spot. It was closer to the center of the park, and the moon could be seen as clearly as it could be with all of the clouds passing by, and building up. The air had an odd moist and damp feeling to it, and it made you think that it might rain after all, seeing as you remember hearing something about it earlier in the day. Yet, that just gave you all the more reason to hope that this whole thing would be wrapped up soon. Though whether that happened with Dick not showing up, or him making good time and keeping things short and simple, you didn't care.
Even if you did hope that he just wouldn't show. For both his sake, and your own.
Settling down on a park bench off to the side of the path, you took a big breath, before letting it all out. You still don't have a good feeling about this, but you'd take all the little victories you could. Since, you managed to avoid going to the manor and clock tower by some miracle, and even got Dick to leave you alone for a little while. Even if a small part of yourself did wish that you had pissed him off enough for him to leave you alone, you wouldn't count on it. He seemed oddly stubborn about sticking around, or to at least keep you around him, and though it made you feel uncomfortable, it unfortunately meant that there was a chance that he'd actually show up again.
You'd pray if you had any faith left, but you don't. Not at the moment, and certainly not with that possibility hanging over your head, just waiting to drop and crush you under its weight. Though for now, you'd try to not think about it as you look around, taking in the dark scenery instead.
The darkness of the night shaded over the park in an ominous, beautiful way. With the trees looming over you, and their leaves providing more shade than necessary. As if trying to protect you from the moon's stare as much as they could. The clouds slowly crawled over the sky, waiting for the perfect opportunity to drop all they were carrying — and leave the burden for Gotham to hold. They covered what could be made out of the blank, pitch black void that was the night sky, with the moon trying its hardest to shine through. To take a glimpse of the chaos below, and judge you in its silence.
A loose breeze drifts by, causing you to shiver thanks to its added chill over the night's natural coolness. The sounds of nature were hardly audible, as if even the insects have been silenced by whatever is going on, and the only thing you could hear was that constant, sickening snapping and cracking of broken bones, and that popping from joints getting dislocated. Even if such noises were much fainter now, thanks to the spot you've chosen, they still managed to reach you here, and dominate all other noises that tried to make themselves known, with its echo.
You could only sympathize with their desperation to be heard, to be noticed — only for the violence to cover all of their efforts. Maybe you'd even pity them, but you already felt foolish over your emotions, and feeling sympathy over noises was silly enough. You have already made enough humorous and dumb choices tonight, so you'd at least try to not make another. Even if you bothering to actually wait here, instead of leaving right away, is dumb enough.
You don't know if it was hilarious or sad how many stupid choices you’re making in one night, and all because of the people you are trying to leave behind. People you were so sure would never bother to look for you or even give you a single thought, and yet here you are now. Waiting for one of them to show up – only because suddenly he couldn't leave you alone. Almost like he couldn't afford to, and now you couldn't help but debate over the humor and sadness of that.
Of course it had to be now, it had to be tonight, that one of them showed up - but you don't know what exactly you're expecting. After all, if one of them were to try and show their face to you despite everything, it would be at the worst time possible. It felt fitting in an odd way, so maybe it was only right that things went down like this. That life throw one of the biggest ‘fuck you's it could at you, during a time where you are trying to recover. To heal. To get better.
Of course he just had to show his face when you were done with him — with them, and their whole family. It had to be now, when you're trying to move on, did an effort have to be made. It couldn't be while you were in the manor - when you were trying to do the same.
… Maybe you should've let him bust open the door to your apartment after all, and just ran away while you still had the chance. 
Yet, as if knowing you were thinking of walking away while he still wasn't around, Dick finally appeared and made himself known with a little whistle.
You turn your head and face him, his appearance almost making you laugh, but you didn't have it in you to do so. Much too exhausted and fatigued to even try, and your feelings were too mixed up to even consider the thought. Though you did have to admit, he did look a little funny.
Dick almost looked out of breath, but he still manages a smile when you turn to look at him. The clothes he wore looked strangely baggy, and you could've sworn that you saw the smallest glimpses of various price tags that were tucked away sloppily. Which made it look like he really was in a rush, and… well, you didn't know how to feel about that. Yet, in that same moment, you caught the tiniest bit of his suit right under the shirt he wore. Further ‘hinting’ at the fact that Dick had been in such a hurry that he didn't actually bother to change, and instead opted to cover up his suit.
His mask was off, at least, and for a moment you wondered where he put it until you noticed him subtly stuffing something in his pocket. Which is funny as it is concerning.
Dick wore an oversized coat that he left open, with a collar shirt underneath that had two of the buttons unbuttoned, along with sweatpants and shoes that didn't quite look his size. All in all, he looked like a mess, but Wayne's look good in everything for a reason, you suppose.
“Made it just in time! I told you I would, didn't I?” Dick chuckles, still holding onto the coffee you had given him earlier with one hand. The smile on his face quickly grew into a playful smirk, and you didn't know if you should find it weird or oddly scary how much closer he seems to be to the side of him you've only seen at a distance before. The side you have seen at galas or with his family, occasionally. A side you didn't have any personal experience with until now, and the dread you felt from before only grew at that.
“Um, no, you didn't-” You try to point out, only for him to cut you off.
“Well, it probably just slipped my mind, but I'm here now!” He muses, and you can’t help but find his tone off putting considering how things ended off a few minutes ago. He both looks and sounds way too happy for someone who was so annoyed with you before. 
“I didn't keep you waiting, did I?” Dick steps closer, making his way over to you casually. Not a single trace of his previous demeanor could be found.
You can't help but move a little further away, and bite your tongue. You hoped he would've, that he did, but unfortunately he did make good time. Since, from the moment you sat down, Dick appeared only a minute after, and had it not been for his messy outfit, you would've thought that he had planned this whole thing out — down to the very last second.
“No…” You drag on, looking away once again, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice.
Yet, despite the implications of it, Dick couldn't help but find it… cute, in an odd way. Causing him to exhale softly, his smirk dying back down into a smile. Blue hues shining as they look down at you.
He moves to sit down on the bench — noticing a spot next to you, but deciding to sit beside you instead. Still remaining close, but not getting in your space entirely, since he felt like you both weren't at that point just yet. There was an armrest between the both of you, and he felt as if that'd be enough for now. Even if he did want to move closer, he decides that this was the least he could do for having been ignoring your discomfort and clear nervousness thus far. 
While he still couldn’t fully bring himself to acknowledge or accept it — since he still doesn't want to think about it — he at least wants to try and do this small thing for you.
Though, the space between you and him would never be big enough for you to be comfortable. Since just knowing he was around, and that you were in his space, already made you feel a certain way, but he didn't have to know that. Not that you would tell him, anyway.
Dick took this little opportunity to take a slow, long sip of his coffee. The drink not quite to his liking, but he wouldn't complain since you seem to like that little diner, and the last thing he wants is for your opinion of him to get worse, so he kept his mouth shut. Besides, it wasn't even that bad anyway, especially knowing that it came from a place that you enjoy going to.
Silence was quick to fall over the both of you again. Yet, this time, Dick didn't exactly have a problem with it.
Even if you weren't looking at him, he could still see that little twinkle in your eyes that the faint bits of moonlight were able to show and make clear. How your hair matched you just right, and the way you did it and took care of it completed your look even more. Along with how even the little things on your person said so much, yet so little, about who you are now. About who you have become after all this time. 
A sense of endearment and sentimentality suddenly washes over Dick, and he can't help but feel as if it were just yesterday that you were introduced to the whole family. Though he still couldn't quite describe the look in your eyes then, as there was an unmistakable hint of excitement and unfounded joy that lingered when you first met them all. When you first met him. 
You were such a little thing back then, and you have grown so much since. Dick still can't help but think about it even as he finally pulls the cup away from his lips, and sighs, content.
You were so small, and little. Your face round and youthful, hands soft and delicate - just like everything about you at the time. The world and the people in it were still so new to you, and you looked just about ready to explore it all. To see every little thing you could, and learn about everything that you found. ‘Wonder’ was the first word he thought of when he saw you that day, and looked at your expression. It was full of that child wonderment. 
Yet… look at you now. Grown, and significantly taller than you were before. Face matured and settled, but still did have a youthful look to it. He notes how your hands did seem to be a bit rougher, and instead of delicacy, he found a gentleness that was always there — but is more prominent now. That look of wonder gone, and now replaced with something more. Something complicated and complex in nature, and yet simple all the same. There's a sense of turmoil but… he couldn't look much deeper than that. He can't bring himself to.
Point is, you have clearly changed. 
Sure, he noted how you looked different and everything before, but now that same conclusion felt different in a strange way. Though maybe that was because he wasn't only looking at you now, but seeing you as well.
Dick doesn't just see the change in your clothes, and how your voice has changed its tempo and volume, but some other things as well. Maybe that's because he's able to connect some things he's learned about you over the course of the entire day, back to you and how you showed yourself now. How those details presented themselves in your appearance and mannerisms.
It’s a lot to take in, sure, but in this moment of silence - Dick found himself slowly absorbing all of this information, taking it all in and finding ways to love you through it. Even if the changes made a particular fact all the more clear — despite the time he has missed, he did genuinely love the person you have become. He does now, at least. 
Despite everything he has done to you, or lack thereof, you have managed so much on your own. Despite him and the family not being around when they could've, when they should've, you managed to pave your own path and face all the challenges it brought by yourself - from what Dick could tell anyway. Even if he wasn't fully aware of all you have gone through in his absence, and he knew that as well – you’re still here. You're sitting beside him, looking at the scenery of the park, coffee cup in hand, and just… living in this moment with him.
Dick didn't know when such small things made him feel so happy or content, but in this moment, with you, it's like all he could feel was happy and put together, in a weird way. He doesn't know how to describe it, but now that he's here with you, in your space and presence, he feels… whole. Complete. Like all the missing pieces he didn't even notice were gone, all fell into place when you were around. With you here with him, he feels the happiest he's been in a long while, and he couldn't even begin to explain why.
He's only really known you for a day, but it already felt like he's spent a lifetime with you.
“Hey… Y/n?” He spoke up, breaking the silence between the both of you, looking back at the coffee cup in his hands. “I just want to say that… I'm happy you're here, and that you let me see you.” He begins, slowly looking back at you, an easy but pleasant smile on his face. It was easily the most natural one he's shown you tonight, and his clear unannounced happiness, no matter how light, made the pit in your stomach grow deeper and wider.
Why is he looking at you like that? And why did it hurt to see it now? Why did it relight the fire in your chest, and make it burn - the flames barely tickling your chest from the inside? Why did you feel like this? What did you do to cause him to wear such a smile?
Why now? What was going on?
“I know we haven't talked much, or really hung out, but this… this is nice for what it's worth, and I'm happy that I get the chance to spend this time with you despite everything.” The small bits of moonlight shined in his eyes, almost making Dick appear better than he was. More friendly, charming, and brighter than you saw him as. You couldn't stand the sight. Your dread growing much too big for you to keep looking at him.
So, you look away. Hoping that Dick would get whatever kind of message you were trying to send - and yet, even if he saw it, he didn't bother to decipher it. Words tumbling out of his mouth before he could think them over, too deep in his own feelings to see yours. Though he doesn't seem to mind as he said the words that began to fill his heart, and let them out into the open air. The wind whisking them away, and shoving them into your ears.
“You… mean a lot to me, and I know that, again, we haven’t really done much together, or really spent the most time together either, but- you matter to me. You’re important to me, and I’m sorry that was never made clear before.” He blurts out, heart aching and swelling at his own words, but Dick just couldn’t help himself. He feels like he needs to say something, to say this, and he doesn't want to have to wait any longer to say it. Even if you don’t like him or saw him a certain way, he wants to at least say this. To tell you his truth - his new truth. A truth that is becoming more clear to him as the seconds pass. Seconds he spent with you. “I know that I’ve messed up- a lot, and I know that it isn’t just me that made things turn out like this, but I at least want to let you know that I do care about you. I just…” Dick ran a hand through his hair, pausing for a moment as countless words he wanted to say float around in his head, but he just didn't know how to say them. Or even say them in a way that would get you to understand, or at least hear him out.
He looks away for a moment before looking back at you. Hand dropping and folding around his cup once again. “I’m sorry, for everything. For missing your concerts and performances, and just- everything. I should’ve been there, and even if I was busy, that isn’t an excuse. I should’ve made time for you, I could’ve, and yet it just always slipped my mind and… I should’ve never done that to you. You didn’t- you don’t deserve to go through that, you didn’t have to, and yet you did, and I’m just.. so sorry that now is the time that I’m realizing this. You… you deserve so much more than what we gave you, and I’m sorry if that made you feel any less than what you are- because you are amazing, and wonderful, and bright-!”
“You’re.. you’re a lot of things, and I really couldn’t list them all since I’m still slowly seeing it all for myself. Though even then, we’d be here for a while… wouldn’t we?” Dick chuckles lightly, a tinge of endearment in his tone, with a hint of a softness that was slowly becoming more and more apparent as he went on. His expression softened even more, and yet all you could feel was dread and anger that grew with each sentence that fell out of his mouth.
Was he messing with you? Was Dick trying to make himself feel better about everything, or just mess you up even more? Maybe both?
Why was he saying all of this now? Why tonight? Why now of all times? His words… they couldn’t be true. They can’t be. If they were, if they are – then why did he wait so long? How come he didn’t realize anything sooner? Why couldn’t he realize it sooner? Why now? Why right this minute, when you were almost ready to let go?
Why is he trying to give you hope over a future, a dream, a wish you never thought would come true? That they, indirectly or not, made you believe would never be made into a reality? No matter how much you did, and sacrificed for them behind the scenes? Was he trying to trick you? Did he really believe that you’d allow yourself to become blind again? That you could actually take the little words that he’s saying to you at face value, after all this time? After all of your wasted effort?
Did he really think that he could salvage what little remained of your nonexistent relationship with him, with just a few words and soft smiles? That you would just suddenly be willing to let him back into your life, after you spent the last year or so just trying to make it so that once you left, you’d never have to turn back? After everything he and the others put you through?
You understood that they were busy. That protecting Gotham and Bludhaven were more important to them than you’d ever be. That they care more about their work and their own lives than they never will about anything you’d try to say to them - you understood that well. It was almost impossible not too with how long you’ve had to deal with it, and come to terms with everything over the few months you’ve given yourself to truly soak everything in and reflect. The one time you gave yourself a breather to process all that's happened over the years you wasted on them, and think about how you are going to move forward in your life. How you’re going to deal with the family moving forward, or if you’d ever bother to deal with them at all. Though, you're still in that process, and had yet to really think about what you’d do moving forward.
Yet, Dick just had to show up while you were in that process. He just had to show his face after so long, and do this to you. Torment you with his words, and cause further conflict inside of you that you don’t need. Causing more heartache and pain that you didn’t want, and yet he just had to keep going, he had to keep talking. He couldn’t just walk away again like he had all of those other times when you were fighting to spend time with him, to just mean something to him. Dick just had to show up, and lie to your face about this. He just had to finally notice you, and hurt you more.
“I’m… I’m just really glad I got to see you is all I’m trying to say, I guess. And that I missed you too, in all honesty.”
So he keeps going, it seems. He just has to say that, like you’d believe him. Like you’d truly think that he cared about you more than the criminals in Gotham did. Like he wasn’t just lying to your face in an attempt to try and hurt you more. To crush what little part of your heart you still had given to them, and destroy it entirely. 
Honestly, now it was like he's trying to get you to hate him. To rid of the memories where you used to look up to him, and really tried to see him as your older brother until the reality of it all crushed you. Until reality forced your eyes open, and made you realize the little you had, and the little he cared.
Your own anger was beginning to blind you, and your hatred grew within you - though you hardly found a part of yourself that cared anymore. 
Even if Dick’s words are true to him, they aren't to you, and that’s all you cared about. Since, as far as you know, they were never true until he suddenly felt bad, and this whole thing started.
However, you still try to remain civil. Just taking in a breath, and sighing before looking back at Dick. Exhaustion becoming more evident, anger and hatred beginning to bloom – but you manage to tuck it away for now. No matter how frustrated Dick makes you, you could keep your composer. You could keep yourself together, and by God would you try no matter how much you want to just get up and leave. No matter how much you want to think that he wasn’t worth the time or energy. At least, not anymore.
“Dick, just tell me why you’re here.” You say, getting straight to the point and seemingly completely ignoring what he said before. Not taking his words to heart, no matter how much they sting and add fuel to the flame growing in your chest. 
Dick looks at you confused, a little taken aback by your response, but just pushes it to the side. Only raising a brow, managing to keep up his smile, “What do you mean? I told you already, silly.” He chuckles a bit, his words already pinching at your skin.
“I’m here to see you.”
‘Bullshit.’ You immediately thought, but don’t say out loud. Not yet, anyway.
“It’s obvious that something’s going on, I mean- do you hear the sounds echoing throughout Gotham? Or, hell, how quiet it is besides said noises?” You ask, tone shifting with every word that spilled out of your mouth, undertone unclear, but Dick didn’t like it. “You don’t have to explain what’s going on, but please, just tell me how or if I can help so that we can both go on with our nights? I know you don’t have time for this. Both of us don’t.” 
Dick can only furrow his brows in response, his confusion growing the more you spoke, but also worried about the tone you’re using with him. A tone that was growing increasingly harsh.
“What are you talking about? I never said I needed your help with anything, and didn’t I already mention that the others are handling the situation?” Dick said, genuinely confused, and yet that only seems to make the flame in your chest burn brighter.
“Then what are you doing here? Why are we even talking right now if you don’t need anything from me?” You ask, voice rising in volume a bit before you bring it back down. The little stings Dick’s words left on your skin turning into a grip around your heart. 
“I’ve already told you, Y/n…. I just wanted to see you.” Dick said again, growing a little more worried now.
“Yes, but why? What made you want to see me so badly that you even went out of your way to find out where I live?” You couldn’t help but ask, frustration growing but so did your desperation. Over what, you don’t know, but all you knew was that you want this to be over. You want to go home. You want to be away from Dick. From them.
Even if your home probably wouldn’t feel as safe anymore now that they knew where it is, and you knew that too, but couldn't find it in yourself to care. Anywhere that wasn't in the immediate vicinity of Dick felt better than being here, with him at arm's length.
“I need a reason to see my younger sibling now? I can’t just come visit them?” Dick asks, still worried and confused, yes, but an odd tone of sarcasm seemed to develop under his tongue.
“After months of no contact? After all that’s happened?” You say as a meaningless, humorless laugh escapes you before your voice drops and cements itself, “Yes. Yes you do, because you’ve never visited me before. You’ve never gone out of your way like this, not even to see me in my own room. So why now? Why tonight? Why come see me?”
Your words stung Dick, and you can tell with how he flinches a bit at your words, if only for a brief moment. He even cringes a little, as if they have physically hurt him, but you didn’t react much. You want to know why, because it made no sense to you, and by God did you deserve an answer.
There is no reason why he should’ve come to see you, none. You aren’t related to him, and even if you are by law, he’s never treated you like family in the past - just someone else who lives in the manor, but over time you began to believe that he started to forget that too, with how he’d grow increasingly surprised by seeing you in person when he'd occasionally visit.
You meant nothing to him, last you checked. So what was so important that he and the others needed to find out where you live, and seek you out like this? What was going on?
From how you look at Dick, he can tell you wanted to know. That you want a ‘real’ answer, one that you’d accept, anyway. Along with the fact that you aren’t going to take your words back, finding them to be nothing less than true, and even if they are, they don’t hurt any less. Especially considering how far he’s come today. How much he’s seen, and how his view is beginning to change. How you were growing on him without even knowing it, making him realize that some of it isn’t even you to begin with. Though there wasn’t much he could do about that, not right now. Not with you getting worked up like this, and not with how he's beginning to hurt too.
The truth hurt, it almost always did. Never sparing anyone, and almost acting as a sword rather than weight. A dagger than another page, but paper cuts did exist for a reason – he supposes.
“I.. I know that it might seem hard to believe, considering everything, but that really is all there is to it.” Dick says, trying to explain as he clutches onto the coffee cup in his hands, “I just want to see you because I was worried, and I… I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That’s all.”
“Then what about the others? Why find out where I live? What’s with all the noise?” Your desperation was becoming a little clearer as you spoke quickly, the questions falling out of your mouth as your heart began to squeeze tightly. The smoke that the fire in your chest was creating, started to reach and fill your lungs little by little with each passing second.
“The others are busy taking care of the city, and how else am I supposed to see you? You weren’t answering any of my or Tim’s calls or texts. We…” Dick drags on a little before just sighing, looking dejected, “I was worried about you- I am worried about you. I thought something happened, and I had to know if something did. Is that so wrong? Can I not check on my younger siblings anymore?”
“That's not what I meant, and you know that.” You point out straight away, but did falter the slightest bit when he mentions how you were ignoring them trying to contact you earlier. However, you didn't back down. “And both of you just started contacting me today. I didn't have any time to answer either of you before you showed up at my door.”
“Really? You had absolutely no time at all to pick up the phone? Not even send a quick message, or even read our texts?”
“I was busy? And was doing something else, so I couldn't get to the phone right away.”
“For several hours? Y/n, you've got to be kidding me.” Dick chuckles out, obviously not believing you, which ticks you off even more.
“What, so I can't do other things? I have to be at your every beck and call, now?” You scoff, rolling your eyes. “None of you have ever contacted me first, so I'm sorry that I didn't have any time to respond to whatever you both had to say. I have my own life to deal with, you do know that, right?”
“That's not what I-” Dick cuts himself off, just letting out a sigh before speaking again after thinking over how to reword what he wants to say, “Look, just- what was so important that made it so you couldn't answer the phone?” He asks instead, searching your expression for something, and furrowing his brows when he couldn't find it.
“... That's none of your business.” You answer instead, narrowing your eyes at him a little. Whatever you did in your life, he didn't have to know. He doesn't have the right to know, not anymore. You may have been willing to offer him this one chance to ask something from you to help with whatever is going on, but that was all, and where your generosity ended. It wasn't a chance to reconnect, or to rebuild what never was, and still isn't. 
If there's anything that this whole situation has told you, it's that you shouldn't have tried in the first place - and that maybe, just maybe, you should've left sooner. That was clear to you now. 
“...” It's like Dick could tell things were getting worse this way. He didn't know what was causing it or how, but he could feel it. Especially with how you were growing increasingly upset, and how he was as well. 
So, he tried to settle down a little and just took a breath. At this rate, he could only dread how things would get, and so he at least tried to change the direction of things a bit. Yet, he still couldn't help himself either. Maybe he didn't deserve to know, but he did want to ask. 
“Look, just-” he tries to find the words to say, to not make this whole thing worse than it already is, and settles on a simpler question. One he figures you can handle, one he hopes does what he wants it to do. “Can you at least tell me why you keep ignoring me when I say that I'm here to see you? Or at least why you just… brush it off?” Dick manages to say, eyes never once leaving you, but for a different reason this time.
He just wants you to open up, but how could you do that when he kept you out for so long? When he locked that door so long ago, and forgot where he left the key? Leaving him to never know of the chair you left right under the handle.
“... What do you-”
“You know what I'm talking about, Y/n, just… please.” Dick almost pleads, which makes you uncomfortable. Causing you to press your lips into a thin line once again, “I don't want this to…” he doesn't want to say it outloud. He couldn't bring himself to. Especially when he doesn't want it to be true. To be made into reality.
“I just want to know, Y/n. So please, just tell me? Because I don't understand why you keep avoiding it, or just don't acknowledge it at all.” Dick says instead, which causes you to grow quiet in the process. 
“...”
You couldn't think of anything to say, just being able to look at him before glancing away and taking in a breath of your own. You couldn't bring yourself to answer the question because - what were you supposed to say? What are you supposed to say? The truth? Or make up a lie? Though even if you picked one or the other, would it be for yourself? Or for Dick?
You didn't know, and a special kind of uncertainty came with that, jabbing your gut and making the flame within you crackle harshly. You hate this. You hate this more than what their inaction did to you, and almost as much as the realization that it's because of them that you're in this position to begin with.
“Why do you think?” You begin, emotions and thoughts swarming in your head and squeezing your heart. You want to not care, to brush it all off as you have before, but only find yourself hurting despite everything. Why does your chest hurt so much? Why did it feel like something was pressing against it, threatening to pierce it? “Why do you think that I'm ‘ignoring’ it or just… dismiss it?”
Dick hates how you look away, and the swirl of emotion he saw in your eyes when you looked at him before. Which only made his own emotions grow like a heavy weight, threatening to fall on him. To crush him, and only leave the tiniest parts of himself behind. Parts that still hung onto that false hope he made himself.
He knew, or at least had an idea, but he ignored it. Dick wants to hear it from you, even if he doesn't know what he's hoping for with that. He knows of his faults, and yet not the entirety of them - at least, that was the impression he was getting from all of this.
He isn't blind, but there are only so many things he could let himself see before the ugliness of it all rears its head at him, and snarls. Before the quiet part that he refuses to glance at, becomes loud.
“I… I don't know,” Dick manages to say after a moment, still looking at you as he searches for something, anything that will point things in a different direction. Something that will give the little hope he has anything to cling on to.
Something he doesn't find.
He takes in another breath, “Can you please just… tell me? I do want to know, I really do- so just, please. Tell me why you keep ignoring what I'm saying?”
“I'm not-” You cut yourself off, speaking before you could come up with a response, the words tumbling out of your mouth quickly before you caught yourself and take in a slow, uneven breath. “I'm not ignoring what you're saying. I'm not, but- just…” You drag on before finally letting out a sigh. Some of the tension freeing itself from your body, but not enough for it to let you truly calm down or relax. 
“What do you expect me to do? To say?” You finally manage to voice it outloud, to ask as you look back at Dick briefly. With the moon trying its hardest to peek through the clouds as they begin to fill and crowd the sky. “You haven't checked up on me in all the years I was in the manor, and, hell, I doubt you even know where my room is-”
“I know where it is.”
“- and even if you do, that doesn't change what happened. Or, really, what didn't.” You narrow your eyes at Dick's sudden words, but don't comment on them as you continue, voice wavering slightly, “You've… never checked up on me before, or even asked me if I was okay- we barely even greeted each other, and I didn't see you around all that often. I didn't get to. So I'm sorry if it's hard for me to believe that you just suddenly care, or want to check up on me after all this time.” You say, still biting your tongue and holding yourself back from sharing more than you should. From giving more than you already have.
“...” Dick's lips press into a thin line before he goes to speak again, “I understand that, but… why can't that change now? Why can't I care about you now?” 
“It isn't about what you can and can't do, Dick. Nor what can be changed now or not, it's…” A quick, small groan escapes you as you try to gather the words you want to say, and finally let them out when you do, “it's what I'm used to, Dick. That's just how it is.”
Finally, dread made its way into Dick’s heart as well, “So… that's it? You're just ‘used to it’? And I can't change that?”
“I don’t know, can you?” You asked sarcastically in a dead tone, already tired of all of this, and yet the fire in your chest continues to burn ever so brightly. “You haven’t really done a good job of that thus far, if that's what you’re trying to do. I’ll say that much.” Your words hurt, you could tell right away. The way he looked at you said everything, but you didn’t try to look deeper than what presented itself on the surface. 
“This isn’t some kind of…. ‘reconnecting session’, stuff like that doesn’t really matter. I thought something serious- something important was going on, or had happened, that’s why I bothered with… all of this.” You point out and explain, only watching as the expression on Dick’s face morphed into something else. Something you couldn’t decipher, but didn’t like looking at. A face that made your stomach twist, with dread pouring out of every crevasse it could manage.
“And why would you think that? I don’t remember saying anything that would hint at that, and even then I would’ve said it outright.”
“You suddenly appeared at my door in the suit, and at some point was banging on it. How could I not think something was going on? Or that you didn’t need something from me? That something serious wasn’t happening? Especially when I don’t remember telling any of you where I live-”
“Okay, okay. I… I get it,” He didn’t, at least maybe not to the extent one would hope he would, but he didn’t want to argue. Not here, and not with you. Especially not when he was really beginning to see you. “But still… I want to change that. I want to make it up to you and fix things. Is that so bad?”
“...” You had no response to that, but even if you did, what could you say? You had imagined countless instances like this, but those situations weren’t real — this one was. In those scenarios, you always had something to say, rather it be good or bad, and you always knew what to do. Yet here, now that it was actually happening, you had nothing. You didn’t know what to do or say, and even if you did have some things you wanted to just let spill out, you kept them in. You didn’t want things to get worse either, but the more Dick talked, the harder that became.
Why couldn’t he just be the person from your thoughts and dreams? The person you always saw him as until now?
“I just…” Dick tries to gather his thoughts, not exactly liking your silence but trying to push on anyway. He finally had a chance, and he’d be damned to not take it. “I want to make things right, and yeah, maybe it's late- really, um, late, but I still want to try.” He manages to say, taking a small, quick breath before he continues, an easy smile trying to settle on his face.
“You deserve better, and I want to be better for you. Things may not be the same, and sure, it might be a bit awkward-” He chuckles slightly in between his words, “-but I think that we can… work it out if you just give it a try. Give me a chance-”
“But I did.” You manage to say, cutting Dick off. He has to fight for his smile to not falter immediately, unaware of how your heart pounded harshly in your chest, the fire it held growing and clawing at the bars of its cage that was your ribs and flesh. Scorching your lungs, and the smoke causing your throat to close, making it harder to breathe.
“... What?” Dick said, partially confused but still trying to at least seem optimistic. A weight of its own beginning to press down on him.
“... What do you think I did all of this time?” You ask, looking away for a moment, glancing up at the covered moon before looking back at Dick, “What do you think I did all of those years I spent at the manor? Before I decided to move out, and be on my own?” 
“...” Dick didn’t have an answer, not one he said right away, anyway. Not one that wouldn’t make him look bad, but he didn’t know what was worse. Staying quiet when he knew a part of it, or saying the part he knew and risk being wrong, revealing how he still didn’t know the full picture despite everything. Despite getting a glance into a life he knew he wasn’t involved in, and feeling more guilty all the while.
However, you decide that his small bit of silence was enough of an answer, and just as Dick opened his mouth to say something, you spoke again. “Most of my time in the manor I’ve spent trying to give you chances- to give the others a chance. Trying to give opportunities to just do something, try anything, and�� well,” You look away fully this time, caressing the coffee cup in your hand, it’s dying warm doing little to help you, causing you to draw your attention to the shaded greenery of the park instead.
“We both know how that turned out.”
If your words didn’t hurt him before, they definitely did now. Even as Dick fought to keep that smile of his up, it was pointless. You were right, and he knew that. Even if he didn’t know the true extent of your words, he was at least aware of the times where you’d try to get them to see you perform, to hear your songs and listen to your music that had gotten you this far. He knew that much, and yet he still couldn’t help but try. He wants to mean more to you, to do what he hasn’t done up until this point, to truly be your older brother, to be your family - despite how long he’s been unable to do that.
“I… I know, and I’m sorry.” Dick could only say that much, even if it did little in the long run, and a part of himself could tell that his words only made whatever you were feeling worse as you inched away from him, the sight of the small action breaking his heart even more.
“Maybe that doesn’t mean much, but it’s true. I’m just… sorry that things turned out this way. That we- that I never noticed how hard you were trying until now, and even if it is late, I want to be honest and say that I’m sorry.” He adds, finally managing to look away as well as he looked down at the cup in his hands, thoughts swarming and eating away at his heart. Even if they were going too fast for him to process them all, they hurt him all the same and caused his worry to grow. “I’m sorry for everything, for never noticing what was going on or the extent of it, or appreciating the effort you tried to put in for our attention, for just not… being around. You deserve better- and I want to give that. I want to give you want you deserve and finally be-”
“Stop.” You said under your breath, voice wavering as you take in a shaky breath. Yet, even as it falls upon deaf ears, and Dick couldn’t make out exactly what you said, he still pauses for a moment before speaking again.
“... I just want to fix things, Y/n.” Dick says instead, but it doesn’t make you feel any better, nothing does. 
“You mean a lot to me.” You just want him to stop. 
“And maybe that’s… weird to hear with everything that’s happened. But it is true, and I’m sorry I never made that clear before.” You want him to stop lying to you, to stop trying to make you feel better. You’ve been doing fine on your own without him, without them, and so the only thing you wanted now was for Dick to stop and leave. To act like he had before, and go back to ignoring you.
“So… let’s change that, okay? I… I want to spend more time with you.” You want him to shut up. You want it so bad that it hurts to hear him talk as he goes on and on. His voice ringing in your ears to a point you’re convinced that they’ll bleed if this continues on for any longer. If he continues to talk for any longer. 
“I’m being honest, I really want to try and be your-”
“Stop… please, just- just stop.” You manage to say, voice small and wavering as you try to take in another breath. You want to be unbothered, unhurt, painless, and numb, but you can’t and you don’t know why. You thought you had gotten used to this, and you had, but to hear that - to hear the words you’ve wanted to hear for so many years - that hurt more than anything else. The pain was indescribable, and its result only made that fire grow, the flames scratching at your chest even harder, and your heart bleeding as a result.
Suddenly, all the progress you’ve made over all the months you’ve been away feel useless now. Reduced to nothing in Dick’s presence as his words stripped down your walls in the most violent, volatile ways possible.
Once upon a time, you fought to have a single conversation with him that lasted more than just a few short exchanges, and now you’d do anything to have that back. For him to go back to the Dick you grew up with, the one you fought to even have to look at you for more than a few seconds.
“You can’t do this to me.” You said without thinking, voice weak and shaky as you scramble to keep yourself together, to hold back tears that you refuse to spill – refusing to shed any more over them. Refusing to let all of your progress go to waste just like that.
You were happy, you have been happy these past few months, and you refuse for that to be taken away from you.
“What? Y/n, what do you mean-” Dick tries to speak, but you don’t give him the luxury, not after this. Not after what he’s been doing to you.
“You can’t do this to me,” You repeat, trying to breathe and fight past the smoke building in your lungs, nearly gasping for air as your teeth begin to grind, “you can’t- you just can’t. So stop… please just..” You try to take in another breath, no matter how small it is or strangled it feels.
“Just. Stop.”
“...” It’s like no matter what Dick tries to do, things end up becoming worse, and he hates that he doesn’t know why. He can't understand why. 
Clearly he’s hurting you, he could see that no matter how much he doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t know what he’s saying that’s hurting you. He doesn’t know what he’s doing that’s causing you to become so upset. 
After all, don’t you want this? Don’t you want him to try? For your efforts to be reciprocated? Don’t you want to be family too? For him to try and be what he’s supposed to have been all of this time? Don’t you want him to try and be your big brother? 
You couldn’t have given up yet, right? There was no way you could have. You couldn’t have given up after all you have done, after all the awards and such he saw that you’ve earned over the years – awards that were still in your room. You couldn’t have given up. That's impossible, there’s no way. No one would throw all of that away, right? No one would do all that you have, only to just put it all behind them - not anyone that Dick could think of at the moment.
… He hated how he thought of it anyway. How the thought creeped into his mind, and remained there. Letting his dread and worry grow as reality began to sneak its way into his brain. 
Dick doesn’t want to think about it – let along consider the idea, but this isn’t about him. This isn’t about what he thinks or feels.
This is about you, and despite his words, he hates that he had forgotten that already.
“Y/n,” He calls out to you softly, really trying this time, and you hate that detail with all of your heart, “can you just please tell me what’s wrong?” Dick’s words make you physically pause, even causing your rushing thoughts to come to a halt. They repeat in your head once more, and you can only think one thing.
Is he seriously asking you that?
“I know that you’re upset, but I want to work through this with you. So, just tell me so I can help, okay-?”
“Stop- God, just please stop, Dick.” You manage to say, already getting slightly choked up before you manage to shakily exhale, trying your hardest to keep it together as your heart squeezes and your chest tightens. You can’t bring yourself to look at Dick, but your teeth grind as you scramble to keep the flames eating up your body from the inside, trapped and hidden away.
“You can’t do this to me,” You say more desperately than you wanted to, a few tears developing that you fight back violently to keep them from spilling, your own teeth getting crushed and feel as if they were beginning to chip and break with how hard they’re grinding against each other. “You can’t- you can’t-” You struggle to get the words out, nearly gasping for air as that sickening, thick smoke threatens to escape your lungs.
“You can’t do this to me, you can’t give me hope.” You finally say, voice straining as your breath trembles. When you finally do look at Dick, neither of your expressions are good ones. Both filled with mixes of emotions, but his was more deep and almost controlled, while yours was frantic and ever changing.
“... What?”
“After all of this time, after everything- everything I’ve been put through. Everything I’ve been trying to move on from-” You struggle to breathe momentarily, but manage to get yet another gasp of air before continuing, “you can’t just try and give me hope like that. You can’t. You just- can’t.”
Now it’s Dick’s turn to pause as he processes what you said, each word making the weight in his chest sink deeper and deeper until it reaches his stomach. The very thing he seems to dread is becoming more real with every minute that passes and he hates that more than anything. He wants to ignore it, to push past it, but how can he do that when it’s right in front of him? How can he do that when something worse could be laying underneath everything?
He doesn’t want to think about it, and so he doesn’t and tries to tuck it away as he goes on to say, “But… why? Why can’t I give that to you? Why can’t I try to help you?”
“Dick, please, for the love of god just-” You want to say it, you really do, but manage to hold yourself back with the little self control you have, and simply just take in the biggest breath you can manage, and sigh just as deeply. “Nevermind, and just- you know what? We’re… we’re done here.” You say instead. Placing your coffee cup on the bench, not even caring that you barely finished the drink, and move to stand up.
“What? Wait- what?” Dick asks, sitting up and tensing when you stand, but not making a move just yet, even if it was clear that he’d do something. What, you don’t know, but you didn’t notice anyway as you were too focused on yourself and getting out of this situation.
“We’re done here, what else do I have to say?” You don’t look back at Dick, instead continue to try and steady your breath. Trying to calm yourself down, and finally do something to quell the burning flames inside your chest, “This isn’t going anywhere, and we aren’t discussing anything important, so… let’s call it here. I’m leaving.” You say outright, being blunt this time as you make a move to step away-
Only to be stopped when Dick suddenly grabs your wrist, his grasp a touch too tight.
“Hold on- who said you get to decide that?” Dick asks, having sprung up to grab you as swiftly and quickly as he did, a flash of panic showing on his face before he pushed it aside and swallowed his nerves. He tries to manage another smile, even if it doesn’t reach his eyes yet again, “Let’s just talk about this, okay? There’s no need to overreact.”
“Overreact…?” You glance back at him, physically feeling as all of your previous progress to calm yourself was quickly diminishing, the fire only roaring to life at Dick’s words, and it’s like he could feel it too with how his smile faltered the smallest bit before he tried to pick it up again.
“Okay- maybe not overreact, but we can still talk about this… can’t we?” He says instead, as if realizing his mistake once you point it out. Scrambling for something, anything.
You don’t say anything right away, your chest only hurting even more, “And talk about what, exactly?” You ask, just barely being able to hear the clouds overhead groan in displeasure, “What is there to talk about? We have nothing to discuss, and so we should just end things here.”
An airy laugh escapes Dick, almost as he can’t believe what you’re saying, and yet he continues to stare at you. All he does is raise a brow, his heart pounding as that weight in his stomach drops further, “About… everything?” He says, as if a little unsure of how to word it, but keeps going anyway, “About the family, about us, about you- everything! What isn’t there to talk about?” He counters, furrowing his brows a little.
He knows you want to leave, but he can’t bring himself to let you go. Not when he doesn’t know when he’ll have this chance again. Not when he’s so close – but to what, he doesn’t know anymore. All he knows is that it deals with you, and that’s enough for him.
“... But there isn’t anything important to talk about.” You point out as if it was obvious, raising a brow of your own as you look back at Dick, ignoring how the longer Dick held onto your wrist, the heavier your dread became. Nearly making it impossible to breathe despite how you were trying to act now,  “Again, I even bothered to do any of this because I thought something was going on or that you needed something from me, and I turned out to be wrong, so there’s no other reason for me to be here.” You try to be logical, or seem that way, anyway. You try to give whatever bullshit reason you can, saying anything that you hope would just get Dick away from you and just let you go.
“...” Dick hated your words with a burning passion he didn’t even know he was capable of feeling, and the breathy laugh of disbelief that escaped him only furthered his own change of heart, “So I’m not important to you? Our family isn’t important to you? Because of everything that’s happened? So our effort to change everything isn’t important to you? It matters that little to you now that you’ve lived on your own for… what, a few months?”
“What are you talking about? You’re asking me that as if you know me, and- news flash, you don’t. So get a hold of yourself- and let me go already!” You yank your wrist away from Dick’s grasp, pulling it back towards you harshly.
The moment your wrist leaves his grasp, his hand twitches, but he manages to hold himself back and just let his hand fold into a fist as it falls back to his side. His eyes pinned on you once again, never leaving you, “Why can’t I get to know you now? Why can’t that change, Y/n?” He asks, his own tone changing without him noticing, making it sharper than he meant it to be, “Why can’t you just let me in?”
The visceral hatred those words spawn in you is hotter than words can describe, and felt as if it was burning right through your chest, melting your muscles and organs down to nothing. You not only struggled to breathe, but it hurt to even take in the smallest breath. “‘Why’…? You’re asking me, ‘why’?” A small, airy, pathetic laugh escapes you, a look of disbelief clear on your face.
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s because of the years that have passed? That every attempt I’ve made to do what you’re asking me right now- was ignored until I didn’t try anymore? Until I go off and try to actually live my life, that you ask for me to let you in? For things to change?” You almost spat out, barely managing to take in a steady breath, “I don’t know, Dick. I don’t know what you want me to say.”
Dick could barely pull himself together. Everything was falling apart, and even if he could see that, he could barely get a grasp on his own emotions that he was failing to calm down. He wants you to understand, and he wants to understand you too, but god was everything making it so hard. He just couldn’t understand why you were being so stubborn about this, and why you wouldn’t just hear him out. 
So, in the midst of his own frustration, he tsked and spoke without thinking.
“I haven’t done anything to you! Why are you acting like this?” The moment those words left Dick, his eyes widened and he scrambled to recover, “Wait, I didn’t mean-”
“Isn’t that the point?” You cut Dick off, the smoke finally escaping your lungs as you furrowed your brows, chest tightening as more unwanted tears began to build, “That you did nothing? That you- and everyone else didn’t do a goddamn thing?”
“You try to act like I owe you something. Like I owe you this. Like I owe you my time, but you know what? You really don’t, because back then? I clearly didn’t deserve yours. I wasn’t worth your time, and now, years later, you think that I owe you mine? That you can just say whatever the hell you want to my face, because I dared to try and be respectful and civil and do all of this shit for you?” There was no holding back anymore, not when Dick dared to say something like that to your face when you’ve been trying so hard to act calm and civil around him. To give him a chance to say his piece and leave.
The one time you tried to do something for them, for him, after months of being away from all of them, and he dared to say something like that to you?
“Then think again. Because unlike before, I have some god damn self respect and won’t stand for your bullshit anymore.” You spat out as the sky above growled even louder, “You don’t get to say that to me, Grayson.”
Yet, despite your words, a single measly tear manages to slip past your defenses and slowly, painstakingly roll down your cheek. The clouds above seem to have taken that as some sort of sign, as a few small drops of water fell from the sky and hit the pavement under your feet.
Dick pauses after that, if only for a moment as he looks over your expression before sighing. “Okay- fine, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that… but,” he took a short breath before saying, “that still doesn’t answer my question, Y/n.”
“...” All you could do was stare at him. Another pathetic, airy laugh escaping you all the while. He really was unbelievable.
“Which one? The one where you asked why things can’t change? Why I won’t ‘let you in’? Or why I’m ‘acting like this’?” Dick clenches his hands into fists, squeezing them before he lets go.
“Why can’t things change, why can’t the relationship between us change?” You hate the tone he used and how the look he gave you expressed and showed more than words could describe. A certain desperation in his eyes that you wish didn’t exist, that you didn’t notice.
“You never showed me that it could change. That it would always stay the same as it has for the past few years-”
“But why does back then matter? Why can’t we focus on now? On this?” He gestured between the two of you, “Can’t we just- I don’t know… move on from that?” You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh, or actually allow yourself to cry, especially when a few more raindrops fell from the sky. He couldn’t be serious, could he? Did Dick actually just say that, and to you of all people?
“Move on?” You say, a few more tears spilling despite your efforts to stop them, their touch burning your skin and sinking into it like acid, “You want me to move on from that? Move on from the years of my life that you weren’t a part of? To just forget all that’s happened?”
“You don’t have to forget… maybe just, push it aside so that we can work on this! On us…” Dick says, dragging on a little before he takes in another quick breath, “Is that so bad? Don’t you want to be family-?”
“You don’t get to say that to me.” You immediately cut him off the moment Dick even tries to mention family again, “You don’t get to say what I want or what I have to do- after everything I’ve done for you! For the others-! You don’t get to say that to me anymore!”
“Y/n, please, just calm down-”
“No! You don’t get to do this to me! To say all of this shit to my face-” You struggle to speak, your words catching in your throat and nearly choking you, but you manage to continue. To continue to say your part, and finally say the words your heart has been longing to say, to give yourself this much, to finally feel this out, “Do you even know how much I’ve done for you- all of you? How much time I spent doing all of these things I thought you guys liked just so that I had a chance to hold a conversation with any of you? To just mean something? To actually be part of the family, only for no one to show up-?”
“No one asked you to do those things! No one asked you to do anything!” Dick snaps, but immediately tries to reel it back, “I understand that things didn’t work out before, but I’m here now, aren’t I?”
Your brows furrow even more, and your teeth grind so hard that it feels like they’re chipping away, “No one had to ask! Hell- none of you ended up caring anyway! It was a waste!” You shout, voice raising the more you talked, tears mixing with the drizzling rain, “It was for you- I did everything I could think of to just talk to you, and now you want me to do more for you? After everything I’ve already done? After all the effort that was put to waste because of you?” At this rate, you knew you weren’t talking to just Dick anymore. Instead, he acted as an extension, in your mind. An extension to something bigger, something greater than himself. Something more than he was.
Dick falters, but just sighs again, “No one told you to do all of that,Y/n]. You didn’t have to do anything but just try to-”
“Try to what, Grayson? Try to what?” You cut him off, eyes swirling with untold emotion as your gaze pierces into him, “Go on, tell me what else I had to do. What I should’ve done.”
“...” Dick looks at you for a moment before speaking again with a small huff, “You could’ve tried a different approach, or maybe, talked to us?”
“...” You don’t know what you want to do more; try to strangle Dick, cry harder, or leave again after trying to kill him. “You did not just say that.” You manage to laugh out, but it’s broken and far from genuine. The humor in it long gone, and all that was left was a sickening, uncomfortable emptiness where it once remained. 
“Well, I’m just saying-”
“You did not just say that shit to me when you’ve been the one shooting down every conversation I’ve tried to have with you. You- the person who’s supposed to be the ‘family man’, and we’ve barely even talked. And let me tell you now, I’m not the one who hasn’t been trying to talk or avoiding it.” A pained smile crept up your face as you laughed breathlessly in between your words once more. Not even caring anymore as you let the fire burst from your chest, and have its ashes and smoke spill out of you.
Dick narrows his eyes and furrows his brows a bit, “‘Avoiding it’? What the hell are you talking about? I haven’t been avoiding you-”
“Then please explain where the hell you’ve been all of my life until now? Why you could never follow through with what you’d always tell me? Why you come to me now, when I gave you years to do or say anything?”
“I… I was busy, okay? You know that,” He tried to lighten his tone with a chuckle but it did little to help, and only showed his own strain, “I don’t always have time to come to Gotham-”
“But you make the time to do it anyway. You make time to visit, especially when it comes to Damian.” When Dick falls silent again for a moment, you take in a shaky breath and sniffle slightly, feeling awful in every sense of the word, “I guess I just wasn’t worth it, right? I wasn’t worthy of your oh so precious time, but everyone else was. Something else was.” Your expression darkens slightly as your strained smile drops completely.
“There’s always something else, right? Something else to do, someone else to see. You could make time, alright, but just couldn’t for me.”
“That’s not what I’m saying, Y/n.”
“Then please, enlighten me, what are you saying, Grayson?” Dick hates every time you say that, every time you refer to him by his last name. It feels like there's a deeper meaning to it that he refuses to see, and just hearing you call him that instead of anything else only forces him to remember that. To remind him of his own faults, both past and present.
Maybe he'd wonder how he keeps messing things up or why he keeps saying everything besides what he actually wants to say, but he's too deep in his own feelings to even think about that. Even if the answer laid within the action itself.
“Saving the city- having to look after Bludhaven and Gotham sometimes, and even the world on occasion- doesn't really give anyone a lot of time to do certain things. You know I'm not over all the time, and that I'm not always… y'know.”
“Dick Grayson?”
“Yeah! And just…” he took a breath before sighing once again, “All I'm saying is that a different approach could've been taken.” You hate how every word he said only seemed to validate concerns you had in the past. Thoughts that still liked to linger every now and then when you caught yourself still thinking about what could've been, and if certain things happened, would that really change anything?
It's funny that only now were you truly beginning to think otherwise.
“So… what?” You say in a dry voice, “Are you saying that I should’ve been just like you? Just like the others- and give up my dream, what I wanted to do- give up my passion, because at least then I would be able to talk to you? Because I would have a higher chance of even seeing you?”
“That's not what I mean, Y/n, and you know that-”
“No. No I don't. I don't know that, and honestly? I have no idea what the hell you’re even trying to tell me right now besides that I should’ve tried harder. That I didn't do enough, because clearly- spending all of my time trying to do things for you, to accommodate for the whole fucking family that couldn't even stand for me to be in their presence for even a few seconds-” You took a shaky breath, more tears spilling out and escaping you, more falling than you would've liked, “that's not enough. Wasting my life away and trying to do everything I could to the point where it put my health at risk- that wasn't enough. I should’ve just dropped everything and followed everyone else instead of trying to find an alternative, because there was no alternative, right? Is that what you're trying to say?”
For once, Dick was speechless and had nothing to say, and his silence only made you hurt more. It's like you were waiting for what felt like the inevitable.
“What else am I supposed to do, huh? What else haven't I done? Is nothing else good enough for you? Is that really the only way I could've been with you? To see you, to actually talk with you and all the others? To be part of the family? Is that what it would've taken?” You're nearly gasping for air at this rate, with every word you say only carving deeper into your heart, and getting harder to say as you struggle to voice them aloud. Nearly choking on both your words and tears, and yet you push on.
“Did I really have to give up on my passion- my dreams to have a better chance to be something to you?”
“Y/n, that's not what I mean. Doing it wouldn't have gotten in the way-”
“You know that's bullshit! You act like the line of work you do doesn't take over your life! Like you don't think about it everyday- like you aren't constantly in danger!” At this point you're shouting and you barely even realize it, tears flowing freely now as they burn into your cheeks and crash down on the pavement below, “Is it so bad that I don't want that? That I don't want to put my life at risk? That I don't want to live your life?!”
“Maybe you enjoy that. Maybe you like that chaos and constantly putting your life on the line- but some people don't! Maybe you're made for that kind of life, but I'm not! I want to live my own life without having to be even more worried about my own well-being and safety!”
“Y/n, please- calm down! I don't want to fight, I-” Dick took a quick breath, his own heart squeezing as he tries to remain stable, to remain calm. Even if it felt like he was watching his whole world crumble before him, each tear you shed stabbing into him, and every word that spilled out just twisted the knives as they dug deeper into his chest and body. “I understand what you mean, but you have to realize-”
“Realize what? That everything I did was for nothing?” Thinking it was one thing, but saying it out loud was another. The words weighed heavy on your tongue, and the more you tried to say them the more choked up you became. “That all of my effort was in vain, and I should’ve given up while I was ahead? Because that's the impression I'm getting right now-”
“That's not what I meant, Y/n. I… I didn't mean it like that.”
“But how else could you have possibly meant it? How else am I supposed to interpret that?” You laughed again, but it was just as sad and pathetic as the last, “You can't expect me to just know these things, Grayson, especially considering everything and just-” You felt like you were going to tear your hair out, like you were going to collapse and truly break. Yet you managed to stand, and speak again no matter how weak your voice is.
“You were never there for me, none of you were.” Your hands are shaking and your face burns, voice cracking in every way possible, and you hate this feeling. Yet above all else, you hate how he made you feel like this, “I could show up at the manor, bloodied and bruised, and no one- no one would notice or bat an eye. I could be wearing a cast and have crutches, and yet not a single person besides Alfred would see it or comment on it. I could be at the hospital and no one would show up, not one of you-”
“Wait… what-?” Dick tried to speak, but you wouldn’t let him, you couldn’t.
“You were never there when I needed you. You never checked up on me, you barely even noticed me-” again, you suck in another breath, barely able to take it in, “do you know what I’ve had to deal with on my own? How much it cost me? How much it hurt me-?”
“Wait, wait- hold on! You’ve been hurt?” Dick managed to cut you off, “I… I never heard about this.”
“Of course you haven't!” You couldn't help but laugh, more tears spilling and leaving scars on your face with how badly they burned into your skin, “You hardly even noticed, how can you expect to hear about it?”
“You didn't tell me- you didn't tell anyone! How- how am I supposed to know about these things when you won't even tell anyone? When you won't tell me?” Dick can feel himself begin to tear up, but he keeps it all down. He was frustrated, and even if it wasn't directed towards you, he couldn't keep his big mouth shut. Even if by the looks of things - you couldn't either, even if that was for a different reason.
Maybe you both were one in the same, but different in some ways. Dick would feel stupid if he noticed it, but of course he couldn't — not at the moment. Not with how things are going.
If only he noticed that sooner. If only he had done a lot of things sooner – then both of you wouldn't be in this position. You wouldn't be in this position.
Yet, he couldn't help himself. Both of you couldn't, in a way.
“I can't read your mind, Y/n! I'm not even at the manor half the time- how am I supposed to notice? You can't just expect me to suddenly know-”
“But you visit enough for the others? For any one of them you'd come rushing over, especially if it was for Damian-”
“At least he tells me when he gets hurt!”
“Are we talking about the same kid right now? God, and here I thought that he was your favorite.”
“‘Favorite’?” Dick chuckled out humorlessly, feeling something in him break at your words. “I don't have any favorites-”
“That is such bullshit, Grayson, and you fucking know that.” You couldn't help but sneer, everything you tried to keep inside finally rearing its ugly head as the lid you tried to put on your emotions flew off, leaving you feeling nothing but unapologetic rage. “You play favorites all the time, but I wouldn't know that, would I? I'm probably your least-”
“Don't say that. You're not. You never were.”
“Right! Yeah, you're right. After all, I'm not even on the list, am I? How can I be the least when you barely even acknowledge me-?”
“I didn't-” Dick just cuts himself off, sighing before he continues, not being able to stop the scoff that slips past, “I didn't mean it like that. You're important to me, Y/n, how many times do I have to say that? It's like you're trying to put words in my mouth at this rate.”
“Well, excuse me for not believing you considering that, oh, I don't know, I've been ignored by you for years? That-”
“‘Ignored’? I haven’t been ignoring you, no one has-”
“Really? Are you really trying to say that now-?”
“I understand that you're frustrated, okay? That you have all the reason to be mad- but no one has ignored you. I haven't ignored you-”
“BULLSHIT! That is bull-SHIT!” You scream before you even notice the words had left your mouth in the first place, “You would have said that before it that was the case! And even then- how the hell do you explain this entire shit show? How do you even dare to try and explain where the fuck ANY of you have been?! Because people can only be so ignorant and stupid until others begin to think it's intentional and you're doing it on god-damn purpose-!” Broken, harsh chuckles escape you - slipping in between your piercing words, ones so rough and dry that it scratches your throat just to let them out. The disbelief was heavy in each and every one of them, utterly devoid of any humor, and yet they were so unbelievably empty simultaneously.
You could feel your heart breaking even more, but you weren't the only one. Not that it mattered, as with each piece that was chipped off, you could only register the little sounds of you coming apart. Everything else was muffled, and almost completely blocked out. With your only focus being on him, on them.
“Just because something looks a certain way, doesn't mean that it's really like that. I told you, it isn't that easy. Like I said before- I haven't been avoiding you, let alone ignoring you! I wasn't trying to do anything like that-”
“It doesn't matter what you tried! What you're trying to do! Don't you see? What matters is what it felt like to me-”
“But you won’t let me change that! You won't let me try and change things- it’s like you want it to remain the same-!”
“YOU DON'T GET TO SAY WHAT I WANT! NOT AFTER THIS- NOT AFTER EVERYTHING! You don’t get to say shit like that- you don't know me! You don't know what I've been through-! So stop talking like you understand me!”
“But you won't let me in! You won't give me the chance to understand! How can I expect to know anything when you're giving me nothing to work with?!”
“How about you take a fucking hint, Grayson. Can't you read the room?! You're a cop for crying out loud! And was trained by the best detective the world has to offer- so it's not my fault you're acting like you're stupid!”
“You're not another case, Y/n! You're family, you’re my sibling! Not something that needs to be solved! Is it really so hard to just tell me anything and not push me away when I'm right here?!”
Your words catch in your throat momentarily, but you try to push past that and force something out, not caring if it was made of broken glass or venom. Yet, just as you go to speak, and the first letter escapes your lips – Dick finally breaks too.
“SHUT UP! Just Shut. Up. And ACTUALLY listen to me for one second! Please! For the love of-” Dick can't help but scoff, running a hand down his face, and covering his mouth with it.  Looking away as he does so, brows furrowing. 
He wants to say something, think of anything that he wants you to hear and understand clearly - but nothing comes to mind. Nothing you'd truly hear him out on, anyway. Nothing he's already mentioned to you. Nothing that would make this better. Even as he goes to try and say something, all that comes out is a mess of half finished words that he can't make comprehensible, especially not in a way that'll have you listen to him where you won't try to bite at him again.
So, he falls silent. You both do.
Your eyes widening at the sudden shout, before your gaze hardens and you glare at Dick through your tears and agony. His silence makes you angrier, but his loud response does shut you up momentarily.
“Well– fine, if you want me to be quiet so badly, then I'm leaving.” You manage to say after a moment, voice wavering and becoming weaker — now spent thanks to how you've been using it up until this point.
Still, your words immediately snap Dick out of whatever trance he was in, and cause his head to snap back in your direction, with his eyes locking onto you once again – though they widen a little before he tries to calm down, and take in one last breath. He scrambles to say anything, especially as he sees you turn to leave, and see your words through.
“W-wait, hold on, I-” he presses his lips into a thin line, thinking briefly before continuing, “Can I at least walk you home? It isn't safe-”
You pause in your movements, “No. Just-” you don't look back, you can't bring yourself to, but you do just barely glance over your shoulder – though not enough to actually see him again. Dick can't see your eyes anymore, but he can still see the tears streaming down your face. “Just leave me alone. All of you.”
Dick tries to reach out, to stop you one last time – but he hesitates, and just lets his hand fall back to his side. Instead, opting to watch you leave while he stands there, left hurt and alone. His eyes eventually find and land on the coffee you had left behind on the bench, and he finds himself staring at that once you're out of sight.
He has to hold back from running after you, and following - if only to just make sure that you'd reach your apartment in one piece - but he manages. It's the least he could do, after all, and besides, he doubts he'd be able to do that without making you hate him even more. He's gathered as much from all of this, and really - from the looks of things, he had a lot more to consider than he had originally thought. All of them did.
… It's only as you walk away and the distance between you and Dick grows bigger, with both of your words beginning to settle - that you both notice the clouds once light cries have turned into ugly sobs, with each tear being shed heavier than the last, thunder roaring and echoing in the distance, lightning striking the earth with a deafening clap. It was only then that both of you even noticed that the light drizzle from before had turned into pouring rain, and that there was more than just the two of you in the world. Something that felt heavier than it should’ve, but felt appropriate at the same time.
Regardless, you continue to walk away, and once again, never look back as you commit to your decision no matter what may happen afterwards, or the consequences that may follow. Just like that one day back in the manor, you move on and go on with your choice, just knowing what you want in that moment and seeing no reason to deny yourself — especially when you want the same thing you wanted that night, when you just want to get away. You don’t know what happened tonight, but all you knew is that you didn’t want to be a part of it anymore, so you just left, and maybe you would’ve felt a little grateful that Dick let you go if you had noticed to begin with – since your mind was more focused on just putting as much distance between you and him as possible.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket, and it’s only then that you remember that you still had it on you – not that you knew why you’d leave it anywhere or forget it, but it’s something you noticed nonetheless. You fish it out of your pocket as you walk, and wipe some of your tears away with the back of your hand, sniffling lightly as you check the notification. Jessica had left you a voicemail – several, actually. You couldn’t imagine why, but you didn’t try very hard to think of a reason, and instead just opened your phone to listen to it.
[“Hey, hun’, it’s been a while, you okay? If you don’t call in the next twelve hours or so then I’m calling the police- even if most of them are useless as hell, I know more of them will look, since they know who you are and all that. But I swear if that asshole did anything to you then he’s got another thing coming, and I know you don’t like to fight, but please, for the love of god, just sucker punch that creep in the face if you have to. He looks like he could use one, and an extra hard one at that.” She takes a moment to sigh, clearly frustrated - which her tone made very clear - but you could sense a little worry, “But, seriously. Just get back to me when you can, and you better be safe, alright? Listen to my other voice message if you haven’t already, talk to you soon, bye.”]
Just hearing Jessica’s voice made you feel a bit better, and some of what she said got a little laugh out of you. She always tried to look after you, and with what just happened – you couldn’t be more grateful for it.
So, you did as told, and listened to the other voice message she had left you, curious as to what she had wanted you to know about.
[“Hey, it’s Jess, darlin’. I hope you’re not still with that guy, but if you are then just remember what I told you, okay? Well, anyway, Cece came by, and is waiting for you in the diner, and barely awake at that. So just come by and pick them up, since- well, I’d send ‘em home on their own but honestly I doubt they’d be able to make it there themselves. I’m a little surprised they were even able to reach this place- but you get the jist. Come by, but if you’re still with that guy? I can wait, just hurry up because a girl’s gotta get her beauty sleep. See you, bye.”]
… Oh, well, guess you had to make a stop on your way home, then. You wanted nothing more than to curl up in your bed and just sleep, but it’s not like the walk to the diner was long anyway, and besides, it was on the way back to your apartment, so you couldn’t really complain.
With that, you made a turn and headed towards the diner. Still processing and taking in everything as you do so — but when you feel more tears begin to well up, you push it to the side, and tell yourself that you’ll handle it later. No matter how short or long that interaction was, it drained you, and you desperately needed rest. Maybe it wasn’t the most healthy decision to make, but you couldn’t handle doing anything else right now, so it’d have to wait. Besides, with how tonight went, you definitely didn’t want to think about Dick and the others at the moment – they didn’t deserve it, anyway.
Thankfully, you reached the diner in no time, and it’s only when Jessica stops you at the door do you even realize that your soaked… which makes sense but you feel a little embarrassed when she points it out nonetheless, and says how she loves you but doesn’t want to have to clean the floor again when her shift has been over for about a half hour. Cece was sitting at the counter, and perks up when you enter, giving a sleepy smile before standing up and making their way over to you. Both of you thank Jessica as you take your leave – but not before you wish her a good night and say your usual goodbyes, even if she does make a point about how you and her will talk later. Hell, she even sneaks in how you almost looked like her after her breakup with Michael which… ouch, you can only imagine how awful you really look if that was the case – but it also only fully confirmed that you were talking to her about what happened no matter what.
Still, you were grateful that she left it at that, and didn’t pry anymore as she finally let you and Cece go home. The walk to the apartment – or, rather, the short run there – since you and Cece ended up sharing their jacket as cover from the rain, and they had a funny idea as you both held it over your heads, and… well, one thing led to another – and it's safe to say it turned out to be rather eventful. Ending with you and Cece laughing in front of your apartment building once you reached it, huddled in front of the small entrance – Cece ending up being partially soaked despite their best efforts, and of course, you’re beyond drenched.
Once you reach your shared home, Cece, despite barely being awake, basically shoves you into the shower once you're both a little more settled, and you just do as told – more than a little tired yourself in numerous ways, and definitely not in the mood to argue. When you’re clean and in a new set of clothes, you and Cece talk a little. They try to ask why you had been out, but you just say you ran into someone – though it wasn’t anyone important, and that it wasn’t something to worry about — with them just accepting that answer, much to your relief.
The rest of the evening becomes a bit of a blur after that, with you and Cece just talking some more here and there, sharing a few laughs that really helped brighten your mood and made you forget all about what had happened. The pain becomes dull, and that bright fire in your chest finally dies out - leaving behind a warmth that wasn’t burning or suffocating, but instead comforting and painless. One you welcomed graciously and with open arms as you felt yourself relax more and more.
Eventually, Cece turned in for the night, and as they headed back into their room, you did one last check of the apartment — making sure all the windows were not only locked, but that the curtains were closed. Going as far as to check the front door a few times just to make sure that it was really locked. Even if none of what you did would really stop any of them from getting in - it put your mind at ease a little, and really, that’s all you could hope for.
With that, you finally settled into bed, and fell asleep faster than you had in years.
For once, you hoped you’d never wake up as your worries and fears felt so far away, and reality was out of reach – even if it laid just beyond your closed eyelids. As much as you hoped for a better morning, more than anything, you hoped that you’d just sleep the week away if you could help it. God knows you needed the rest, or at least it felt like you did.
—----------
Dick had no such luxury.
The night became a blur after you had left, and he barely remembers even meeting up with the rest of the family once everything was said and done. He couldn’t tell how long he had been standing in that park all by himself, thinking of everything you had told him and looking at the little pieces of your existence that still remained behind.
All he knows is one thing led to another, and now he’s here – sitting on top of a roof with everyone else both simultaneously chastising him and trying to discuss what they should do now. Though Dick couldn’t bring himself to pay attention, since the events that had unfolded moments prior replayed in his mind like a broken record, torturing him slowly as his brain reminded him of all of the mistakes he’s made tonight. He can’t understand why he said half of what he did, especially because he didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean to blow up like he did – especially in front of you, and when you were clearly hurting and frustrated on top of that. The only thing Dick wanted to do in that moment was stop both of you from arguing, and it seems that his mouth ran off to do just that before he could think of a better way to do it. Now leaving him like this, and things worse off than they were before.
Point is, Dick felt like shit, and he knew he deserved it. Though the rest of the family definitely weren’t helping him out in that regard.
“How the hell did you even fuck this up, Dick?” Jason asks, his tone so heated it sounds like it could’ve come from the depths of hell itself – and all just to burn his older brother.
“I knew I should’ve gone instead, this would’ve never happened-” Tim can’t help but mumble to himself, arms crossed as he sighs, frustrated – but not completely at Dick. If there was a moment for him to really believe he should’ve kept your address and apartment number to himself, it was definitely now.
“Wait- so… what do we do now?” Stephanie asks, concerned over what happened, and that Dick hasn’t really said anything about it to them – even if all of them can tell it went poorly.
Damian just sighs, his arms crossed as well as he looks at Dick before looking to the others, “Take matters into our own hands, obviously.”
“While I agree that something should be done, is it really a good idea to act now?” Barbara pitches in, not entirely sure of what Damian was talking about, but not liking the implications of it all the same. Something about it just didn’t feel right to her, nor did the look he gave her.
“Of course. Now that they’re presumably heading to their apartment, we can just-” before Damian can finish what he was going to say, Cassandra covers his mouth, cutting him off swiftly which annoys the little Robin enough to shove her hand away and give her a scrutinizing look, “what?”
Cassandra just shakes her head, and instead begins to sign something, basically saying how they don’t know if you're even at your apartment, and by the time they find out where you actually are, it’ll probably be morning. Even mentioning how since you know that they know where you live, you probably wouldn’t even be there anymore. Which just causes Damian to huff in response. She had a point, and he knew it, but he wasn’t going to admit it out loud.
Still, despite that Jason spoke up again, “Actually, I agree with the little twerp. Now’s a good a time as any to get them home.”
“... You can't be serious, right?” Barbara asks, now getting a little concerned over what Jason meant as well, and the half-shrug he gave did little to reassure her or calm her nerves that were slowly beginning to rise.
“Why not? They’re still out there doing god knows what- who knows where in the dead of night,” he points out, giving Barbara a little glance, “it anything, I just see more of a reason to get them before anything else happens.”
“Jason, do you even hear yourself right now.”
“What? Is it a crime to be worried for my god damn family now?”
“Jason.” Bruce’s voice pierces through the air, cutting through the tension before anyone else can speak up or give their two cents. Almost as if just his voice alone was enough of a barrier between those who wanted to get you home, those that didn’t, and the few who didn’t know where they stood at the moment. 
Regardless, it’s enough for Jason to stand down, if only temporarily as Bruce turns to Dick – who’s still out of it, and staring at the ground just before his feet.
“Dick,” Bruce calls out, which only gets him a subtle glance, with Dick not even bothering to pick up his head – or maybe he just couldn’t, no one could tell except for the one person among them who was much too fluent in body language. “What do you think?” He asks simply, narrowing his eyes a little when his eldest son grows quieter somehow.
Dick fidgets with the coffee cup in his hands, its warmth long gone, and yet he still runs a finger or two along the side as if it was still there. He doesn’t know why he grabbed it, but now he almost couldn’t find it in himself to let it go. It was yours, after all, if only for a brief moment – and even if all it did was serve as a reminder of his faults, it reminded him of you, and right now? That’s all he could ask for. Dick can’t explain it, but it’s like by holding the cup and having it with him, he had a small part of you with him. Since, sure, while you had left it during your… ‘dispute’ with him, it had come from a place you liked and he could only assume that it was just how you liked your coffee. It was silly, but holding it made him feel close to you, and that’s all he wanted at the moment. To be close.
… It takes him a beat or two before he responds, and even then he seems unsure of himself – but remembering what had transpired minutes ago is enough to set his mind straight.
“I think… we should give them some time, and… a bit of space too for a while.” Dick manages to say hesitantly, tapping the cup lightly as he still holds onto it.
That seemed to quiet everyone down for a moment, until Stephanie eventually asks the question on everyone’s mind.
“Just how badly did things go, Dick?”
He couldn’t answer that, he didn’t want to, so he remained silent. However, Cassandra could tell, and found herself just as divided as she felt the moment she first saw him. She didn’t know what she wanted to do more – throw Dick off the roof, or go looking for you herself. Maybe she’d try to do both if Bruce wasn’t right there. 
“So, what? Do they hate us now or something?” Jason says sarcastically, but with how Dick tenses a little his tone turns harsher, “... You can’t be serious.”
“Dick- please tell me you didn’t screw things up that badly. Please tell me that you didn’t make things worse!” Tim almost begs, desperate to be wrong and hoping that his eldest brother hadn’t made things worse – that there was still a small chance.
Sure, they didn’t expect things to go great, but none of them really believed that they would go so horribly!
“Look, just-” Dick takes a short breath, looking at the cup in his hands in quiet defeat before glancing away, “I think we should give them some time to themself is all.”
Jason can only scoff as he crosses his arms, “I knew I should’ve gone instead, they would’ve been home right now.”
“I believe me and father would’ve handled the situation much better,” Damian states, as if it would lead to the only positive outcome should he and Bruce had gone instead.
“I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut and just gone over by myself- stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” Tim curses under his breath, looking away as he continues to mumble to himself – expression growing increasingly darker and the air around him shifting into… something indescribable.
Cassandra seemed just about ready to rip something apart, and Stephanie was getting nervous from how the others seemed to be reacting, only able to stutter out a small, “G- guys? Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about this right now-”
“I agree…” Barbara chips in, her own concerns only growing as she looks at the family, but tries to help Stephanie out nonetheless, “What’s done is done, and we should be trying to figure out what to do from here on out.”
Damian scoffs, “Right, like that will be easy with brother being silent about everything.” Dick could only look away in response, taking a small sip of the coffee in his hands, finding a little bit of comfort in its taste. It was cold, and wasn’t how he usually got his done – but it’s how you liked it, and that was enough from him to like it too.
A small argument seemed to spawn from that alone, with some now going back and forth yet again on what to do – Cassandra, Jason, and Damian pretty adamant about wanting to bring you home, with Barbara, Stephanie, and Dick more keen on waiting and giving you space — even if Dick was definitely more quiet about his stance, still thinking about… whatever was on his mind. Tim didn’t seem to engage much in the arguing either, and instead seemed to be dealing with his own thing as he kept mumbling to himself, leaving Bruce to be stuck listening to all of the nonsense until he finally got fed up with it.
“Quiet down, all of you.” He states firmly, voice cold and harsh as he shuts everyone up without even moving an inch. His eyes seemed to judge all of them as he looked at everything before sighing, and making the decision for everyone.
“We’ll give them time, and stand down for now.” He says, his tone alone indicating that there would be no arguing on this. What he said was final, and everyone would be smart to follow along with it, no matter where they stood. Still, he turned to look down at the city, and caught the faintest glimpse of your apartment building in the not-so-far distance. “but if anything happens, then we’ll act accordingly.”
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dduane · 5 months
Text
Today's auroral shenanigans
Relatively speaking, yesterday night (May 11/12) was a bit of "not much" for aurora-watchers, compared to the night of the 10th/11th. (Which, to be fair, was a most unusual event, and it wouldn't be surprising if it wasn't equaled for a long, long time.)
Nonetheless, the Sun continues to be in an interesting mood at the moment... specifically the big sunspot region AR3664, which is the one responsible for the auroral extravaganza of May 10th. You can just see it in this next image, getting ready to rotate away from us around the Sun's rightward limb.
(For those interested in scale: that complex of sunspots is about fifteen times the diameter of the Earth. You could drop the whole planet into the middle of the biggest one and lose it. A timelapse video of its growth is over here at YouTube, if you're interested.)
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As AR3664 continues to spit out CMEs and flares, the NOAA has issued a geomagnetic storm watch for today, tonight and tomorrow—with the suggestion that conditions like those of the night of the 10th may in the relatively short term be about to repeat themselves.
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This is a "watch" rather than a "warning," reflecting some uncertainty over exactly how the various incoming coronal mass injections are likely to behave on reaching Earth orbit. (Also, the CMEs aren't being aimed straight at us, but off to one side as the sunspot region rotates further and further toward the sun's edge: so this adds somewhat to the unpredictability of it all.)
The animation below comes from the SOHO spacecraft's LASCO C3 coronagraph instrument. It starts on May 10th and runs through until early on the morning of May 12th. You can see the newest incoming CMEs right at the end of it.
(BTW, I think the two bright objects to right and left of the Sun are probably comets passing through, as LASCO images normally mask out any planets that would be in view.)
Anyway, as for what this means for auroral activity tonight? It's tough to tell as yet. The planetary K index (which expresses the relative strength of geomagnetic storms) has dropped back down into near-baseline levels at the moment.
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But when those new CMEs and the solar wind associated with them hits the atmosphere, things may change suddenly.
We'll soon see...
And an afterthought: AR3664 will soon be off around the Sun's edge, and invisible to us. It'll be interesting to see what happens to it after that.
The Sun takes 27 days to rotate, as a whole: the poles take longer, the equatorial regions a shorter time. In a couple of weeks or less, what will greet us, rotating around toward Earth's POV on that left-hand side? Will AR3664 have dissolved and vanished away, as sunspot groups so often do... or grown even bigger?
ETA 1, 12 May 2024, 1820 UT: Like a kitty coughing up hairball after cosmic hairball, AR has popped yet another X-class flare.
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ETA 2, May 13 2024, 0100 IDT / 0000 UT: New G3 storm warning dropped.
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syoddeye · 7 months
Text
Lightly edited. 600 words. CW: alcohol, possessive behavior, implied stalking
You stopped sharing location with John Price.
He's a busy man. Too busy for you lately, it seems. The usual tricks, the old reliables, no longer seem to capture his attention anymore. You wonder if there's someone else.
You do it after he texts you yet another short, unapologetic message. He's working late tonight. Don't wait up.
You won't.
It's been ages since you indulged in a favorite pastime: reading at the bar. A habit of yours since school. You dress up for your own enjoyment, pluck the book that's sat on top of your to-read pile for months, and find a spot at the bar of your old haunt. Cocktail in hand, you lose yourself in the story.
Three drinks later, a hand settles on the counter beside your glass, connected to a thick arm testing the thickness of a denim jacket. A voice made rough with smoke curls in your ear and sends a shiver down your spine.
Should've checked here first. You were just sayin' you missed this place.
Heat you want to believe that's only from the liquor creeps up your chest and claws at your throat.
Woulda been easier to find you if you hadn't, you know.
You're embarrassed when you think back to when John first convinced you to enable the feature. You didn't share that information with anyone, and the idea of someone watching you felt gross. It took quite a bit of cajoling for him to persuade you, going on and on about how he only wants what is best for you, to keep you safe. Knowing where you are at all times is part and parcel of a relationship with him.
He's smiling. There's warmth in his features, the upturned corner of his mouth, and the slight scrunch of his nose, but his eyes are matte. Dull even in the dim light of the bar. He's fuming.
John sits beside you and drapes an arm over the back of your seat. He waves down the barkeep with the other. You finally find your words, humiliated that the first thing you think to say is an apology, and that you two can go back to yours. He shushes you. 
No, love, go ahead. Finish your chapter. Mind if I borrow your phone? Used up the battery on mine, you see.
You've never seen his phone below 60%, but you fork it over anyway, and he gestures for you to return to your book. You re-read the same paragraph a dozen times before giving up. He sips his drink, unhurried, catching your eye and giving a wink before he slides the device back to you.
There. All better.
There's a new icon on your home screen. It's unfamiliar, and when you reflexively tap it, it asks for a passcode. Your mouth dries.
Can't have you making more impulsive decisions like that, eh? 
The arm slung over the stool migrates to your shoulders, and his hand gently clamps over the nape of your neck, thumb swiping over the skin.
I haven't been giving you the attention you deserve lately, have I. S'pose that's why you pulled a little stunt like this. Wanted me to come hunt you down, find you sitting pretty at a bar, hm?
He laughs when you stutter and try to defend your decision but glowers when you quietly comment you were worried someone else was keeping his attention.
If you're finished reading, think we'll spend the night at mine, sweetheart. Show you you're the only one for me.
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drmaddict · 22 days
Text
Keep Out
Summary: modern!Aemond takes his girlfriend home with him for the semester break over summer. He had already forgotten that he barely got any peace and quiet in his old room.
Wordcount: 1.717
Warnings: tiny smuttish part, but also not really, mentions of an unwanted lap dance, lots and lots of fluff
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Present
They heard something rumbling loudly against the door. "Urgh. Fuck. Aemond?" shouted Aegon through the door.
(Y/n) laughed silently and shook an equally smirking Aemond, who was lying on her stomach.
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2 months before
Aemond was unusually nervous for his ratio. He had never brought anyone home before. It was unusual. He felt strangely naked, as she paced around his room, looking at the books and posters from his school days.
When a grin appeared on her face, he knew immediately what was coming.
"Aha!" She pulled the CD case from the shelf and held it up triumphantly. "I knew it!",she grinned at him.
He just rolled his eyes and put the My Chemical Romance CD back in its place. "Behave.", was all he said.
Her smile softened. Her arms gently wrapped around his neck and pulled him in for a soft kiss.
"Close the door! Would you?", they heard someone laugh. None other than Aegon stood in the doorway and grinned at them both. "We don't want mummy to think you're promiscuous."
"Wow. That was a difficult word for you.", Aemond replied in a calm voice, but (Y/n) could see the tension in his jaw.
"At least I'm not a twenty-year-old virgin.", Aegon rolled his eyes and walked away again.
(Y/n) scratched his neck reassuringly. "So this is Aegon?"
He grumbled in agreement, annoyed.
"You exaggerated a bit with his hair. I was almost expecting a half bald head.", she turned his mind to another topic, knowing full well that he was largely uncomfortable with the subject of sex.
"You didn't see him after rehab. He was close."
She laughed lightly.
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He lay relaxed on the bed. (Y/n) half beneath him. His head lay on her chest and he savoured the delicate fingers, as they ran over his scalp and through his long strands.
Sleeptoken was playing softly in the background, but he focussed more on her heartbeat, which he could now hear so clearly.
His eyes had fallen shut at the caresses, his breathing was calm and deep.
Everything was beautiful. Everything was good. Everything-
"Aemond we - Oh sorry."
Both their gazes shot in the direction of the roughly flung open door. His mum stood in the doorway, a little embarrassed. "We'll order something from the Italian. Please come downstairs... And put a shirt on Aemond!"
He dropped his face into the crook of her neck and groaned in annoyance. "I should have taken a hotel.", he grumbled.
She kissed his temple. "Just locking up is cheaper, I think."
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"We don't have to.", she explained quietly.
Aemond shook his head. "I want to try it.", he admitted, still looking nervous. "But only on you for now.", he confessed quickly.
She stroked his hair. "Okay."
"You sure?"
She nodded with a smile.
Aemond cleared his throat. He had come a long way since he was a boy and a teenager, but the memory of that night was still so present.
Aegon had dragged him along to his birthday. He doesn't know what he'd expected, but it hadn't been a stripper.
He and his friends had cheered her on as she danced on Aemonds lap. He had never felt so overwhelmed und uncomfortable. The fact that he had come in his pants less than two minutes later had, of course, taken the mockery to the extreme.
They had bawled and Aemond had simply run away until he could lock himself in the bathroom, where he washed himself three times in a row in an attempt to wash off the shame.
"Hey." He felt her hand on his cheek. He pulled himself from his memory. "It's just me here. No one else." She smiled so warmly at him again. And she was right. The rest of his family was gone tonight, except for Haelena. But she rarely left her bugs voluntarily anyway.
He nodded, but still buried his face briefly on her shoulder. "Can I?," he asked, stroking her waistband with his fingers.
She nodded with a smile.
He carefully slipped his hand under the elasticated fabric and immediately came across the top of her panties. He looked at her questioningly again. She simply nodded. His fingers travelled deeper. He felt light stubble and took in the slightly scratchy feeling beneath his fingertips. He drew a few exploratory circles.
"Does that bother you?", she asked a little hesitantly, but he immediately shook his head.
"Not at all."
He let his fingers wander deeper until he felt what he was looking for. He groped around a little awkwardly and blindly. Searching for what he had already read about. She tenderly pushed her hand towards his. Grasped his fingers and brought them into position. She calmly showed him how to move them. He followed her with concentration.
She sighed slightly and withdrew her hand again. He tried himself out. Experimented. Memorised what caused which reaction.
And he realised, that this was okay. It was even kind of nice. It was-
The door to his room opened again. Helaena poked her head into the room. She didn't pay any attention to the situation of the two of them, frantically trying to present themselves in a more socially acceptable manner.
"Helaena!", shouted Aemond reprovingly.
She looked absolutely neutral in return. "Have you seen my Tarantula? She's run off."
"Your what?", asked (Y/n) immediately in alarm.
"My Tarantula. She-"
"Rethorical question.", explained Aemond immediately. "And no."
"Okay."
The door closed again.
"Please tell me that Tarantula is the name of your cat."
"Don't worry about it. The creature is ancient. It probably just turned to dust."
"Found her!", Heelena shouted from the corridor.
"Great.", Aemond called back, only slightly annoyed.
(Y/n) was still sitting tensely on his bed. "What do you say we-"
"Chinese or Thai?" he asked.
"Chinese."
"I'll just wash my hands and get the car.", he explained and stood up humbly. Would he ever have a quiet evening in this house?
"I love you.", she called after him tensely.
"Love you too.", he called back with a sigh. 
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They made out violently. She was sitting on his old desk and had her legs wrapped around his hips like a snake.
His centre kept twitching slightly forward. His family was gone, even his sister, and the damn door was locked.
Aemond pressed himself against her even more than he already did. His hands wandered under her top. His lips broke away from hers and travelled to her neck. He was ready. He was sure. He felt comfortable with her. He wanted this.
"To bed?", he asked, slightly out of breath.
She nodded eagerly. "Please.", she sighed. He lifted her from the table and carried her towards the bed. She took off her own top and threw it somewhere. He did the same.
She was already sitting down on the mattress and pushed herself into the middle of it, when Aemond tried to get out of his trousers.
He lay down on top of her. Their lips met. He sighed, when he felt her hands on his bare back.
He was just sliding his hands into the waistband of her trousers when he heard the click of the lock. He frantically threw half of the blanket over (Y/n) to cover her body as his grandfather stood in the doorway.
He looked at them both in astonishment.
"Excuse me.", he nodded briefly to (Y/n). "Otto Hightower. The grandfather." He introduced himself impassively.
"Hello." (Y/n) waved back, overwhelmed.
"You still have my encyclopaedia.", he explained, turning to Aemond.
He looked at him perplexed. "Couldn't you have just called me?"
Otto just raised an eyebrow. "The book, Aemond.", he demanded.
Aemond stood up angrily, took the book from the shelf and pressed it into his grandfather's hand.
"Could we have some privacy now, please?"
Otto just waved him off. "But don't get her pregnant. We don't need any more complaints like your brother's."
He didn't even look at them again. He simply left the house.
Aemond breathed in and out in a controlled manner.
He turned round with a jerk and pulled his trousers back on.
"Aemond, it's all-"
"Get dressed. We're driving."
"Driving? Where?"
"To a hotel.", he explained curtly and held out her top.
(Y/n) looked at him in surprise. "So we're not stopping?", she asked, half teasingly, half cheerfully.
Aemond looked at her insistently. "Not if you don't want to."
She smiled. "Let's go then."
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The night was mild. Mild enough that they didn't try to put as much distance between them as possible. Just touching fingers or knuckles.
No. Aemond had snuggled up to her chest and (Y/n) held him in a relaxed grip.
They both lingered in the land of dreams, knowing that the door was locked and the key was still in it.
They had had their peace and quiet all evening. No one had gotten on their nerves. Aemond had snuggled up to her as he usually only did in his own flat. A place where no one could go without his permission. The key in the lock wasn't the highend security system in his flat, but it reassured him enough.
Even in his dreams, he still had the feeling that he had finally triumphed when he was suddenly and rudely torn from this world.
A loud, breaking sound rang out. The sound crashed into the room like a bang.
And with the noise, Aegon smashed in too.
"Oaaa! Fuck!", he exclaimed, annoyed, then he laughed clearly drunk.
Aemond and (Y/n) immediately sat upright in bed. (Y/n) looked perplexed at Aegon.
Aemond looked at the hole in the wall that had once been his door, now lying as splinters of wood on the floor.
"I didn't get the curve.", Aegon laughed, still on the floor. "Sorry little brother."
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Present
"Stable.", (Y/n) stated, when she had her laughter under control again.
"Steel core with a security lock. Standard for banks.", explained Aemond relaxed.
He firmly grabbed her hand, which she had withdrawn during her fit of laughter, and put it back on his head.
"Don't stop.", he just sighed and closed his eye again. A slight smile played around his lips.
She kissed the top of his head with a smile and complied.
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cursingtoji · 1 year
Note
11 and 21 with gojo please please PLEEK
One Bed + Hate Sex
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⊱ ex!gojo x fem reader, smut, one face slap (on him), degradation but also praising ig?, possessive gojo, 2k words (this almost consumed me) ┊The Clichés ™
note: i got a litte crazy in the process of "why would i hate gojo" and ending up taking an extra prompt from the list for this so... ta dah ✨ ex boyfriend gojo enjoy
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“It's been a while” Satoru greets.
One year it’s a long time, seeing him makes your stomach hurt but you realize you don’t carry as much resentment as you used to.
After your break you asked to be sent on missions far from tokyo, you knew eventually you would see Gojo Satoru again, and there he was, in casual clothes standing by the exit of the train station you agreed to meet at.
You felt him before you turned around the corner, and he felt you too. His six eyes could see the flames of your cursed energy increasing and decreasing as you tried to control your emotions. When you showed up he smiled, eyes hidden behind the sunglasses.
“Indeed.”
The director of Kyoto explained Gojo was meeting you there cause he got a lead on a special grade cursed object and you would be his companion on the search that would start tomorrow morning. That shouldn’t be hard, right? 
“How've you been?” he asks politely.
“We don’t need to do that” you reply quickly as both of you made your way to the cabs.
“Why? Am I supposed to not care for your well-being anymore?” his question would seem innocent to anyone, but you have trained ears for Gojo Satoru, and you can tell when he’s being patronizing.
“Yes, just like I don’t care about yours” you enter the cab and give the driver the name of your hotel, Gojo walks around the cab and sits beside you. The close proximity of him in this confined space already makes you uneasy.
“Don’t be like that, I know that’s not true” he puts his arm behind you, his cologne invading your senses and you consider rolling down the windows, but nostalgia stops you, “No matter what you say, i can still read you like a book” he whispers moving some strands of hair out of your shoulder.
Gojo knows you’re too well-mannered to do or say anything to him in this cab, you don’t wanna embarrass yourself in front of the driver even though he’s a stranger. Gojo always hated how much you cared about other people’s opinions — one of the things that you constantly fought about near the end of your relationship — yet he knew how to use that on his advantage.
The cab drops you off in front of your hotel and you leave Gojo to pay for it while making your way to the reception, giving your last name.
“I’m sorry, miss, I couldn’t find a reservation under your name” the girl at the reception says.
“Wha— didn’t you make a reservation?” you ask Gojo.
“I thought you were gonna make it” he shrugs and you have to restrain yourself from attacking him.
“Fine. Two rooms for tonight only” you turn to the receptionist again.
“Sorry ma’am, we’re all booked for tonight” she explains.
“Can you check again?” Gojo extends a membership card and she types something on her computer.
“Oh we have one master suit available for premium members” you roll your eyes.
“We'll take it” he says.
“Wait, just one?” you intervene.
“I'm afraid so, it’s the only room available for tonight.”
“So what’s gonna be, baby? Sleep with me or on the street?” he pushes his sunglasses down his nose bridge, wanting to see in detail your facial expressions as he teases.
“Don’t you dare call me that” you growl at him, “I shouldn’t have agreed to this mission” you mumble the last part looking around and considering your options.
“But it was not your decision to make, was it? You’re too much of a people pleaser to even question an order from those bags of bones you respect so much” he mocks bringing in a frequent fight topic.
“We'll have the room” you turn to the receptionist after realizing you didn’t have much to do anyways, right now you just look forward to locking yourself in the bathroom for at least one hour while you wash all the Gojo Satoru out of your system.
Gojo offered to carry your small one-night bag, but as expected you don’t let him take it, once you arrive at the room you can’t help but admiring how fancy it is. Just the kind of place Gojo used to get for the two of you.
“Good thing it’s a king size” you murmur looking at the huge bed, should be enough to sleep without touching him.
Gojo walks past you, pulling his sweatshirt over his head, the shirt underneath raising slightly but enough for you to take a peek at his back muscles and gulp.
“I'm going to shower” you announce, taking some clothes out of your bag and leaving your phone at the nightstand.
“Without me?” he blinks suggestively.
“Ugh” you slam the bathroom door in disgust.
Gojo laughs and lays at the bed getting comfortable, he reminisce the times when you were dating and he showed up at your hotel even if he was not part of your mission, he would get you a secret upgrade for a room with hot tub and sat there with you leaning on his chest while you talked about a future where you would be a teacher alongside him and not need to travel so much. Later he would assure the two of you would make it work through kisses and sweet whispers while fucking you slowly and passionately and take you out on a nice restaurant afterwards.
Gojo is pulled out of the memory lane by your phone’s message tone, he doesn't think twice before reaching to see what's your notification.
> did you arrive well? Xx
Suddenly he sees red. The contact name is unknown to him and he prides himself on knowing almost every sorcerer in Japan. So who the fuck is that?
Once the bathroom door opens, Gojo confronts you immediately.
“You moved on quite fast” you look up, noticing the phone in his hand and quickly trying to snatch it back before he disappears from the bed and reappears behind you.
“Don’t fucking test me, Satoru” you try again.
“Who’s he? Huh?”
“None of your business” you get closer and on your tiptoes to retrieve the phone, Satoru holds your wrist with more strength than necessary.
“Is he a curse-user? Kyoto faculty? Answer me” he pushes you until your back hits the wall, throwing your phone over his shoulder — not giving two shits if it breaks — and moves to be in between your legs, holding both your wrists above your head in one hand.
“None, get off of me”.
“Non— you’re dating a civilian?” he laughs, the psycho laughter gives you chills.
“You have no right to speculate about my own private life!” you tried to kick him, but he closed your legs between his own.
“That's why you broke up with me? To be with a boring fucking no-one?” that’s the angriest you ever seen Satoru, even when you fought he always kept his voice down, as if to tease you even more.
“I did break up and you didn’t even question it, did you? Didn’t even put up a fight!” you yell like you’ve been meaning for so long, after a big fight you yelled that you two should break up and his ‘yeah, maybe we should’ shocked you.
Satoru’s grip loses around your wrists, his big blue eyes look down at your anger filled ones seeing a hint of hurt in the features of the girl he fell madly in love with.
Fuck, he missed you so much.
You're panting at this point, both of you stay silent until your gaze falls to his lips, that's all the encouragement he needs to close the gap and kiss you, you gasp when the towel slides down to your feet, now physically and emotionally exposed to him. Gojo groans when he touches the bare skin of your waist and your arms fall on top of his shoulders. It’s incredible how quick you surrender to him, lips parting for him to taste his beloved one.
You can’t help the way your body reacts to him, not even when you attempt to rub yourself on his thigh and he stops you.
“‘S your boyfriend not taking care of you?” his tone drips mockery, a hand crawls up grabbing your breast harshly.
Before you can send him to hell his tongue is shoved back inside your mouth and you rub your thighs together already feeling yourself getting wetter.
“Fucking slut” he groans on your lips pinching your nipple and moving to cup your cunt, “Does he touch you like this? Like the whore you are? Or he treats you like a little delicate thing you pretend to be?”
Your palm acts fast to slap his cheek.
“Fuck” he moans, the burn on his face going stray to his dick as he ruts against your stomach.
Satoru slides the hand between your legs to spread your slick and press the heel of his palm on your clit, you whine, pressing your back against the wall.
“You’re not getting away from me, so don’t even try” your former boyfriend pushes his fingers without much resistance from your moist walls.
“T-Toru” you shut your eyes letting the nickname escape. This is all he dreamed of, having his name come out of your lips again, but he still couldn’t get over the fact you let someone else touch you, especially someone that did not understand you like he did. Someone that had no idea the type of job you had and how dangerous it was. Someone that would stand up during the mission assignments to volunteer for the most dangerous ones so you wouldn’t go.
“That’s right, baby, say my name” he curls his long fingers inside you, moving one arm out of his shoulder to guide your hand into his pants, where you quickly wrap around his length. You move his pants and underwear out of the way, the hot skin of his dick touches your stomach and you look down. And god, he has such a pretty cock it’s unfair.
“Wanna suck me, gorgeous?” he murmurs, watching the lust in your eyes, “Missed my cock in your mouth?” he hits the sweet spot inside you harder when you don't answer, “Say it” he grabs your jaw forcing you to stare at the dark ocean in his eyes.
“Y-Yes, I missed your cock” you confess, letting out all the times you pretended it was him pleasuring you instead of your fingers.
You squeeze his base when he fastens his fingers and your orgasm approaches, but it doesn't take long before he removes them and you whine.
“You’re all bark and no bite, all it takes is having your pussy played with and you get quiet” he bites your lobe, his harsh words make you wanna hide your face in embarrassment.
“Satoru, please” you beg and pull his pants all the way down trying to move to get on your knees.
“No, you’ll take what I give you” he grabs your arm and pushes you onto the bed, discarding his shirt before moving to position your knees on the mattress, “You’re lucky if I even let you cum tonight…” he strokes his cock with your remaining moisture on his hand before moving to bury himself in your walls, “... after everything you put me through” he confesses the last part in a hush.
“M-Me? Fuck you, Satoru” he fucks you roughly, not giving you time to argue back.
“Yeah, you” he punctuates with a particularly hard trust, “Can’t believe you were sleeping with someone all this time” his voice breaks but his pace doesn't.
You feel him in your cervix, but his tone pulls you out of your pleasure to explain yourself.
“I’m no— not” you whisper and he stops to lean over you.
“What was that?”
“I’m not… sleeping with him, he’s not— he’s no one” you confess slightly turning your head to look at him, his eyes squint as you feel his hot breathing against your neck and chest on your back.
“Good” he straightens up and pulls out. You turn around sitting on the bed and pulling him by the neck to kiss you again, Satoru complies, crawling with his lips attached to yours, until you're laying on the pillows wrapping your legs around his waist so he’s back inside you, “Missed this cunt so bad” he cups you again, feeling the way your lips stretch to his length while sucking on your nipples.
You arch your back “Hate you so… much— agh!”
“No you don’t, you never have” he bites your nipple and your nails sink on his back.
“This is pretty empty for an all booked hotel” you comment when you sit at the restaurant for breakfast the next morning while a cup filled to the brim with coffee, having slept only 4 hours since Satoru kept you up all night, denying your orgasm until you begged and apologized.
“Is it?” Gojo tilts his sunglasses looking around, finding only four other tables occupied while you stare at him suspiciously. He wonders how long it’ll take for you to find out that on the way there he booked every single room except one so you wouldn’t have a choice.
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see also: Gojo + Fake Dating # Toji + Forbidden Love
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juniperdugong · 2 months
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Photobooth - Wonwoo
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WC: 2.8k || Genre: Fluff, Angst (?) || Ooo they crushing on each other
A/N: We'll call this a late bday present for him lol lotsa fluff, is this also angst? Idk. This is the song I had on repeat writing this, Imagine it during the climax
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You and Wonwoo had hung around the same people for a while, your friend groups slowly merging before you could comprehend it. So it wasn't exactly a surprise that you'd see him here tonight but you're trying your best not to look in his direction all the same.
You guys haven't talked much... or really at all without someone else in the group being there. It's a given seeing as you're both on the introverted side anyway.
Over time you've grown to welcome seeing his face at a party or in a crowd and you've developed a little bit of a crush, one that you definitely did not mean to create. But really who could blame you?
It was Wonwoo. And the way his messy hair hung so perfectly over his face. How his glasses would fog up on occasion. And god... the way he'd lift his shirt up just a tad to wipe them. You might be insane for the thought but there's no way someone that attractive isn't getting gawked at 24/7, like clockwork.
And that's exactly what you're trying to hide as he sits across the table from you. You're drinking more than you had before he got here and you can feel the heat in your face as the buzz sets in. You've been avoiding his eyes as best you can, but you can't help noticing that he's been looking at you very intently since he sat down.
Wonwoo's been nursing a beer for the past 30 minutes, his face still slightly red from the pregame he and the boys did at the previous bar. Now he's sat in front of you. Purposefully he had pushed Dokeyom out of the way to get this seat but now that he was here he had zero idea of how to approach you. He's been trying to catch your eye the entire time but you haven't looked his way once. He goes to speak but is interrupted.
"Guys! I have a great idea!" Your friend stands up to address the table, the fact that most of you are completely out of it only makes it so that several people are cheering her on the moment she rises. "Let's go to a photo booth shop!"
In minutes someone's already handled the bill; No one cares to ask questions this far into the night. And your posse is perusing the streets looking like a bunch of fucked up college students; Not exactly wrong but not right either.
You're hanging back in the pack like you usually do. The cold air hitting your warm face feels so good that you have to close your eyes to take in the feeling. "Hey." You're startled from your daze as you see Wonwoo pull back and wait for you to catch up to him, "The night air?"
"Yeah, feels nice." The silence grows between you two as you continue walking side by side. Neither of you can tell if the heat you're feeling is from the drinks or from the intense blush you feel coming on but both of you are glad that tonight is breezy, the air serving to calm down some nerves. The last time you were alone was that night.
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Not too dissimilar from tonight actually. A bunch of your friends were hanging out at a camping-themed cafe where you could sit around a fireplace. Due to how many of you there were several campfires were taken up.
You and Wonwoo sat a few chairs away from each other, by coincidence you had ended up in this smaller group as a close friend also sat here. It didn't take long for either of you to notice the other. Small glances back and forth and flickering smiles when you caught each other's eye.
Somewhere along the way, almost everyone got up to go and order more food, and as people trickled over to the counter you and Wonwoo were eventually left alone.
The tension was thick with unspoken attraction and you were both waiting for the other to make any moves. Finally, with a lump caught in his throat, Wonwoo got up and sat in the chair next to you. "Y/n, right?" You gave a little nod and chuckled, "Yeah and you're Wonwoo?". "Yep, exactly right."
You guys kept talking and talking the entire night, the conversation never dipping into silence or awkwardness, it felt like you could be here forever and never get bored. It all seemed to come naturally with Wonwoo.
Even once your friends came back the chatting didn't stop. Some of them eye the way you guys had gotten close within a matter of minutes, smirks as they could see the connection forming before their eyes. The way that with each new topic, you guys somehow managed to get physically closer. Scooting your chair to hear him better. Wonwoo leaning in subconsciously as you ramble. Both of you are practically knee to knee by the end of it.
More and more of your group dispersed as it got later in the night but you both were too enthralled in conversation to notice anyone had left until it had gotten dark.
"It was nice talking, y/n." The way the moonlight and campfire gleaned on him made your heart race.
"Yeah, I had a lot of fun Wonwoo." His cheeks hurt from smiling so much and his chest burned whenever anything so much as a smirk was on your lips.
"I'll see you around?" You hoped he was talking sooner rather than later.
"Of course!" He held onto those words like a promise.
It wasn't until you both had gotten into your cars that you realized that you didn't get each other's numbers. Shit!
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It's been months since then. You've seen each other at other hangouts but neither of you had the guts to talk to the other again. Something ate at the confidence you had that night and you haven't been able to look him in the eye since. You'd never thought that you'd have a crush this intense at your age but something about Wonwoo made you feel like a highschooler again.
And he's been the same way, although a bit more direct than you. Every time he's seen you since then he'd try to get closer to you, at least be near you to quench his thirsty lovesick heart with your voice... Even if it's not directed towards him. Just staring at you made him flutter, honestly. He's been festering on these feelings for a while, even since before that night if he was being honest, but every time after that his tongue hasn't been able to form coherent sentences around you. It's like a curse.
A curse that it seems some alcohol can quell, at least for a little bit.
"We haven't talked much, have we?" He starts, the shop is just around the corner yet right now he prayed that it was miles away so he could take his time.
"Nah, we haven't. Not since..."
"Not since the campfire?"
"Yeah."
"Hey! You two! Get inside!" A quaint smile forms on your lips as someone yells for you to hurry up. Wonwoo gives a small chuckle but bites his lip to suppress the touch of anger rising now that your conversation has been cut short.
As you get in you can already see that everyone takes charge in claiming different accessories and filing into photo booths in small groups. You didn't really feel up to taking photos, far too heated from Wonwoo's company from before. Looking around, you spot some fun sunglasses shaped like daisies. They were good enough for photos and who knows? Maybe sober you will like the outcome.
After grabbing the sunglasses you dip into an empty booth and begin going through all the different styles. You're slightly hiccuping and now you can definitely feel the alcohol kicking in.
"You mind?" You'd just settled on the only appealing style out of your choices, one obviously meant for couples, one surrounded by red and pink hearts. Of course, Wonwoo had to interrupt. You have half the mind to tell him you do mind jokingly but you're too swayed by him to joke right now, "Not at all."
Now you're sat squished up in the booth with him. The flush on your face could be explained by the drinks but it's more than likely getting redder due to Wonwoo's presence.
"Sorry, all the others were taken and I didn't want to be left out." An excuse, he'd seen you come in here and he was eager to talk to you again. Alcohol really did wonders for confidence.
"It's fine, really." You smiled a bit in his direction and suddenly his heart is thumping like a rabbit's foot. "I don't even like taking photos..."
"Why not?"
"I never like how they come out."
Impossible, you're like the most beautiful person in the world, y/n. He can't even begin to comprehend your way of thinking. You were the most stunning thing in his field of view whenever you were around, how could pictures with you in them ever turn out bad?
"What?" Fuck Did he say that out loud?
"What?"
"Did you just *hiccup* call me beautiful? Wonwoo."
"I don't know." His eyes are wide and suddenly he feels as sober as a dog. He feigns innocence with a confused stare in your direction and thankfully your drunkenness takes him for his word.
"Wonwoo..." A numbness came over you that allowed for words to spill.
"Yeah, y/n?"
"I think I really like you." Great. Now he's sure he's completely sober. He turns to you, the sunglasses hiding your drowsy eyes as you lean against the side of the booth. And he's not even sure if you'll remember saying this. Great!
"You mean that?" Please say yes.
"Mean what?" You're completely out of it and he can see it, as quickly as he resigns to you forgetting what you said you speak again, "That I like you? I do mean that."
His jaw drops and he isn't sure what to do. Does he run away and grab one of the accessories that will cover the intense heat on his face? No, he doesn't want to leave you. Does he tell you he likes you back? No, that's in vain you're already not all here. Well, you are in a photo booth... He presses the START button.
"Will you be mad if I kiss you right now, y/n?"
You look at him with glazed-over doe eyes, letting the sunglasses slip off your face and fall to the floor. You didn't know if this was some sort of sick joke, a hallucination fueled by the copious amounts of alcohol in your system, or worse a drunken mistake on his part. But it was too sudden a question for you to process the options in this state.
3...2...1...Say Cheese!
"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked-" He opens the curtain to the photo booth and is ready to get up. This was a bad idea. Nothing you said should mean anything to him but it doesn't keep from the pang of disappointment he feels. Suddenly your hand is gripping his wrist telling him to stay seated, and he does.
3...2...1...Give the Camera a wink!
Both of your hearts are racing. The tension of the moment suffocates you guys but you're too caught up to notice the heaving of your breaths. You grab his face with both your hands, trying your hardest to focus on just him. Your stupor makes it extremely hard but you persist with the small amount of soberness in your body.
It takes far too long for either of you to realize as your lips press together. The shock of plush lips lights you ablaze, it's as if someone held a flame to all the booze coursing through you. You're too far gone to know that you're the one that had leaned into him and not the other way around.
3...2...1...Blast off!
If Wonwoo's eyes could pop out of his skull they would. He's nearly out of the frame of the camera as you push up against him. Your brows furrow as you close your eyes getting more into the kiss and now he's feeling awkward with his eyes wide open. He thinks your focus might just be the cutest thing he's ever seen. God, you are all he wanted, huh? A smile creeps up on his lips before he lifts his glasses and deepens the kiss, placing a hand on the small of your back and using the other to gently wrap around the back of your neck.
3...2...1...Silly Faces!
Maybe it's all the drinks but both of you swear that the other's taste is addictive. Your hands travel from his face and down his neck, pulling him in impossibly closer. You're both hungry for each other, if any of the others saw it'd probably look like borderline cannabilism with how animalistic you were going at it. Mouths trying to trace the memory of each other onto the walls of your cheeks.
It was sensual yet innocent, any trace of lust replaced with an intense passion and love. You can vividly imagine the many kisses that you could share with Wonwoo in your lifetime. Pecks on the cheek, goodbye kisses as you leave the house, intense makeout sessions, all of it. All the little quiet moments of intimacy to the burning giant gestures of love, everything with Wonwoo. It's the only sober thought you think you've had all night.
3...2...1...Big Smile!
You release him from your grip, letting your hands rest on his shoulders. Wonwoo's arms hold you in place but loosen ever so slightly. Foreheads resting on each other you just take a minute to take it in. You let your eyes open and meet his, you feel his glasses fall on between you two.
"Sorry." You say as you back away, allowing his glasses to drop back down fully.
The silence is deafening. Outside you can hear as the rest of the group giggles and chatters on, oblivious to what's just happened. You wipe your mouth as you feel a slickness on your lips, your combined spit coating you both.
You're a lot more aware now. The kiss sobering you enough to maybe be able to remember this in the morning but you weren't confident in that thought.
While you're getting that realization Wonwoo's taken the liberty of doing the finishing steps on the photos. Printing 2 copies for each of you and inserting his own email when it asks him if he wants a video of the photo-taking process. Thankfully you weren't looking when he did that, hopefully, he can show you the video at a better time and you can reminisce on your first kiss.
You startle him as you stand up. A solemn look on your face at the thought of all of this being gone by tomorrow. You really wish you didn't drink tonight. That Wonwoo hadn't sat in front of you. That he hadn't stared at you with those eyes, the ones that made you so nervous that you had to chug drink after drink to just get a modicum of confidence. You wish that what happened in the booth had happened not because you were drunk but because you were ready.
He sees the look and wants to say something... anything if it'll make you feel better. He knows all too well that that look meant that you were regretting things.
You reach out to him, cupping his face in one of your hands and swiping at his cheek with your thumb before he can say anything. Biting your lip you look at him, the feelings are all too overwhelming right now.
"Hey Wonwoo, if you remember this in the morning... remind me of it so we can do it when we're sober sometime, yeah?"
With a slight nod, he leaned into your hand and gave a lingering kiss to your palm before watching you open the curtain and walk away. His eyes stayed glued on you through the window of the shop until the moment your taxi came. A hollow feeling overcoming him as the drunkenness sets in again, although he couldn't quite decipher if this down came from the drinks or from the pure ecstasy you gave and so quickly took away, maybe both.
He walked out of the shop, a group of high-schoolers giggling in merriment as they picked out their accessories and got into their booths. The thought of wherever his friends were was purely background noise at this point.
Getting out and into the cold air he stood with his back against the glass, clutching the photo strips in one hand and his phone in the other, he set an alarm.
"Remind y/n".
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A/N: I really really fucking like this one guys, smiling throughout the whole writing process. Also lovelies, for those of you reading Perfection pls know that the upcoming chapter has been delayed till next Saturday! Please reblog and comment your thoughts and as always my asks are open to any and all thoughts!
SVT Taglist (OPEN): @bemybabiibish @bath1lda
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samandcolbyownme · 11 months
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Summary: Anon request - "can you PLEASEE give us something super smutty, super kinky, halloween themed either both sam and colby or just colby. kinda like the halloween one you did for sam?"
Basically, this will be reader at a Halloween party and they decide to mess with an ouija board and Colby gets attached to reader, but doesn't reveal himself until reader is home.
Warnings: SMUT18+, Strong language, alcohol consumption, drunk actions, demon! Colby possesses reader, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (both), choking, hair pulling, scratching, filth
Word count: 4.7k | somewhat edited
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
“Alright guys.” Ray says as he claps to get everyone’s attention, “Halloween game time.”
You walk into the living room, shocked at what you see, "No." You hold up your hand, pointing to the board lying in the middle of the circle, "No. fucking. Way."
The group groans, trying to convince you, "Come on, you really believe in that?" One says. Another chimes in, "It's all fake anyway."
You roll your eyes, "You have no idea what you're messing with. Plus, you all are fucking drunk."
"Come on." Your best friend, Amelia grabs your wrist as you stand up, "You don't have to touch it, but just stay with me.." she laughs slightly, "Moral support."
"You know this could get bad. Fast." You whisper as you lean in, “I am always saying how these things are a bad idea.”
“Can you please just stay.” She more or less demands, and you lean into her, squinting, "You're scared, aren’t you?”
She scoffs, "N-no.. u just.. can you just please?"
You sigh, "Fine. Fine. But I'm not touching that thing."
You sit there, watching as the guys across from you argue about how to get started.
"How do you- where's the instructions?"
You sigh, "You're supposed to cleanse the board first, and it would be better if you would stop-" you watch as someone spills alcohol on the board and you sigh, "Drinking."
"Lighten up, y/n." Sam says nudging you, "What? Are you afraid that we'll let all the dark spirits in?" He laughs, "Hell is empty tonight. So.." he leans over, "Can't summon something if it's already here, right?"
You rolled your eyes, you felt like the only sober one there.
"Alright, everyone, one finger on.. this thing." Ray says pointing to the pointer, "oh, and someone kill the lights."
You close your eyes one the lights flick off and everyone but you puts a finger on the pointer.
"Just do it."
You look at Amelia, "Did you say something?" She shakes her head, "No." you look over at Sam, "Did you say something?" He shakes his head, "No." a smirk grows on his face, "Hearing things already?"
You roll your eyes and sigh, "Fine. Fine." You lean forward, laying your pointer finger on the pointer, "Fuck me."
"Trust me.."
You close your eyes, shaking your head. You regret even being at this party.
You want to take your finger off the pointer but you physically can't.
It's like it's glued there.
Stuck.
"If there is any spirits here, we'd like to talk." Jace says with a slight laugh and you tilt your head as you stare at him.
"Jace, you have to ask nicely. They need to feel safe." You say looking up at him, "We welcome the friendly, positive spirits to talk to us."
The pointer starts to move, "Oh shit." Sam looks up, "Yo, who's doing that?" Sam laughs slightly, "That's not funny."
Everyone denies.
It moves to H then slides over to the I.
"Hi?" You all say in unison, "Hello."
You look at Amelia, "Ask it something." She goes wide eyed, "Are you fucking nuts?"
You sigh, "Fine. I'll do it. What is your name?"
The pointer starts moving, going to C.
Then O.
Then L.
Then E.
"Cole? Is your name Cole?" You ask and it slides to YES.
"Are you a demon?" Jace asks and you all look at him. You shake your head, "You don't-"
The pointer slides to MAYBE, making everyone shut up.
You try to take your finger off but it still feels stuck, and you hear a quiet whisper, "Stay."
"You can't just ask shit like that, Jace." Ray says, "Are you stupid!?"
"What? Are you scared?" Jace says with a laugh, "You said you don't believe in this shit."
The pointer moves, sliding to the letters A, S, K.
“This isn’t supposed to move on its own… right?” Amelia asks quietly as she looks over at you. You shrug and look over at Sam.
"Ask?" Sam whispers, "How many of you are there?"
The pointer moves to 1.
"So it has to be just one." Amelia looks at you and back to the board, "Are you Cole?"
“That was already asked.” Jace says with an eye roll, but the pointer slides to YES, anyway.
"What are you doing here?" Sam asks and before you can correct his question, the pointer moves to each letter that spells out your name.
“Y/n..”
"Fuck no. No!" You yank your hand away, "Who did that?" You look around and they all shrug, "I'm serious. Who fucking did that?" Your voice is in a high pitch and you sigh, "I’m done."
You stand up but you get dizzy and stumble backwards. Amelia and Sam stand up, holding onto you.
"Whoa, you alright?" Sam looks down at you, concern on his face, "y/n."
"I’m not gonna hurt you."
You shake your head slightly, "Yeah." You stand up straight, "I'm fine." You smooth out your costume and walk to the bathroom, Amelia on your tail, "What happened?"
You stop, whipping around, "What do you mean what happened? Those idiot fucks moved it to scare me because I didn't want to do it."
"Then why did you?" She holds her hands out and shrugs.
"I felt like I had to." You look at her, "Like something was telling me to."
She walks up to you, laughing slightly, "that's called peer pressure, y/n."
"It wasn't.." you sigh, knowing you're just wasting your breath, "Yeah.. you're probably right." You look up as she walks into the bathroom and you see a shadow standing at the end of the hall.
"Jace? Ray? Sam? Come on guys this isn't funny." You slowly walk towards the shadow, preparing yourself for one of them to lunge at you with a 'boo'.
"You okay?" Sam peaks his head around the corner from in the living room and you look at him. Your eyes move back to where the shadow was, and it's gone.
"Yeah, I'm just seeing shit now." You sigh, "I thought you'd never fuck with an ouija board, Sam."
He shrugs, "Peer pressure."
"That's what I said!" Amelia says in a sing song tone as she walks back into the living room. Sam looks you up and down, "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"Yeah, that'll do that to you when your name is spelled on one of those things." You laugh slightly, "I just don't-"
"Listen." Sam walks up to you, "It was probably just Jace or Ray playing a stupid prank. I'm sure it wasn't anything. They didn't even do it right."
You shrug, "If I go missing, I'm blaming them."
Sam laughs and looks back the group in the living room, "Come on, I'll drive you home."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
It kept replaying in your head. The pointer moving to each letter. The shocked and scared expressions from everyone.
They couldn't fake the genuine shock, especially with majority of them being drunk.
"Do you think it was real?" You ask looking over at Sam in the drivers seat. He shrugs and rests his elbow on the center console, "I mean, maybe.. but like I said, they didn't do it right. So if anything were to happen, it'll probably be to them."
He laughs and you sigh, "I'm serious Sam. When I was going to the bathroom, I swear I saw something in the hallway, just standing there."
"I'm sure it was just that stupid fake tree that Leah got Jace to buy. I'm sure it was nothing but your imagination feeding off your fear."
You nod, "Yeah, you're probably right." You laugh at yourself, "I'm such a scaredy cat on Halloween."
He looks over at you as he pulls into the driveway, "Yeah. You're telling me." He rolls his eyes playfully and laughs.
You look at the door to your house, "Do you wanna come hang out for a little bit, just until I'm not scared?"
He turns the car off, "Yeah, I can."
You make your way inside and as you open the door, you see the same shadow you saw in the hallway of Jace's apartment standing over by the door to your kitchen.
You quickly flip the lights on and it's gone.
"That shadow was there again." You point and Sam moves in between you and the door, "Stay here." He goes to check it out, coming back out a few minutes later, "No one is here."
You shut the door and sigh, "I knew that was a bad idea. I should have next touched that thing."
"You know, I heard stories or people burning them or throwing them out and they reappear in the spot they were in last." Sam walks to the couch, plopping down and you just glare at him, "Not helping."
"You don't have one of those here do you?" Sam looks back to you and you shake your head, "Hell fucking no."
"Then you should be good." Sam laughs and turns back to the tv.
"I'm going to go for a shower. I'll be back down." You make your way up stairs, undoing the corset on your costume and taking a deep breath.
You move around the room, looking over your shoulder when you feel like someone is watching you, "Sam?" You call out as you walk out into the hallway.
"Still on the couch." He yells back and you laugh slightly, "Alright."
You walk back into your room and close your door as you finish getting undressed when you suddenly feel frozen.
You can't move.
You move your eyes around, trying not to freak out.
"Relax, babe."
"Mm." You whimper as your lips are pressed shut. You feel a hand drag up your back, "I'm not going to hurt you."
A man walks around your left side, stopping when he gets infront of you.
You couldn't lie, he was hot, but you were more worried on how he got into your house. Past Sam on the couch.
"If I let you go, will you stay quiet?" The man asks as he brushes your cheek.
You try to nod, but you can't, "Mhm."
You feel your body relax and you sigh, "How the fu-"
"Lower.. your voice." He walks around and presses his chest against your back, "Don't you want to know who I am?"
"N-no." You hesitate because you were intrigued by him, but you also didn't want to die.
"You won't die, baby."
You look over your shoulder at him confused. He chuckles, "I can read your mind, so that means I also know that you find me intriguing, but you're still scared."
"Who are you?"
"My name is Cole, but I go by Colby. Or-" he laughs, "did. I did go by Colby before.. ya know."
Your eyes go wide, "So that was real?"
"What the ouija board?" He nods, "Oh yeah, that was all me."
"You spelled out my name. Why?" You turn to face him, "Why me?"
"Because I like you. Your energy intrigues me as well." He runs his fingers along the open seams of your costumes, "Why don't you pick up where you left off, yeah?"
You bite your lip, multiple things going through your head.
He sighs, "Alright. I'll answer those questions because you're giving me a headache." He chuckles and steps back, "My name is Colby, or Cole. I am in fact a demon, and I died when I was twenty four, but that conversation is for another time."
You blink, trying to comprehend what he just said.
"And yes. That was me controlling you, I can honestly make you do anything I want you to, but if you're a good girl and do as I say, I won't have to." He winks and walks over to the bed, plopping down onto his side.
"How.. I mean.." you pinch the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes. You sigh and look up at him, "I thought demons had horns and black eyes or other creepy features.."
Colby chuckles, "I have horns, yes. But like what I said about making you do things, i can make you see things, too."
As you stare at him, his image flashes in your mind and you see him with horns and his blue eyes are black. You blink and look back at him and he's normal looking.
"Crazy right?" He sighs and heaves himself forward to sit up, "I can walk amongst the living, just like this and I can even control more than one person.. if I wanted to."
"Why are you here?" You cross your arms, feeling a chill run down your spine as he walks up to you. He looks into your eyes and they flash quickly from blue to black, "Because you want me here."
"I don't remember ordering a demon off Uber Eats." You snap and he laughs, "You're funny and pretty? Jackpot."
He walks around you, his hand sending a tingle through your shoulder as he touches it, "The devil himself would love you. You know why?"
"Why?" You slowly turn your head to meet his gaze and he smirks, "Because you portray yourself as an angel, but really you're just as nasty as me."
Your heart beat picks up pace and it makes Colby smirk, "You don't have to be nervous, darling." He tucks hair behind your ear and sighs, "I won't hurt you. Not unless you want me to."
He winks and you feel a warmth spreading over your body.
"What do you want from me?" You chew on your inner cheek and he stares into your eyes, "What I want from you right now, is for these clothes to come off."
Your hands move to finish taking off your costume, leaving yourself naked infront of him.
"You're such a treasure." He licks his lips and steps towards you, "Tell me what you want me to do."
"I-I don't-"
Colby cuts you off, "I can read your thoughts, baby. But that's not enough for me. I need to hear you say it."
You clench your jaw, trying to keep the thoughts out, but you couldn't. They were strong and you didn't know where they were coming from.
"Are you putting these thoughts into my head?" You look up at him and he shakes his head, "I am not. That's all you, baby."
You're shocked. Shocked because you're so turned on by him when you really should be petrified.
"There's no reason to be afraid of me, baby. The only people I hurt is people that deserve it, and you my dear, are far from deserving of that." He smiles, "I'm here to serve you, if you will."
"Serve me?" You swallow, "What do-"
He cuts you off with his lips on yours and you immediately become his. You can't explain it, but it feels like you belong to him.
His hands move into your hips, warming the skin as he squeezes, "Fuck." He leans back and shakes his head, "Tell me you need me."
"I need you." You whimper out quietly.
He tilts his head, "do you?"
You nod, "Yes." You felt like it was him making you say that, but he assures you it's not.
You pull him back into you, kissing his lips only to pull away when there's a knock on your door, "Y/n? You good?" Sam jiggles the door knob, but you don't remember locking the door.
"I locked it." Colby makes you look at him and his eyes flash black, causing you to stare into them as he speaks, "Tell him you're going to bed."
"I'm going to bed."
"Oh... alright. Well I'm just going to crash on your couch if that's okay." Sam says from in the hallway.
You look over at Colby and he nods.
"Yeah, no that's fine, Sam." You bite your lip, "Goodnight."
"Yeah.. night.." he walks away mumbling to himself and Colby appears in front of you, "Now let me show you something cool."
He stares at you and you feel a pleasure sensation slowly consume you. You furrow your brows, taking a deep breath as you try not to moan.
"Let it out baby, don't fight it." Colby whispers and you moan almost instantly.
Colby smirks, waking around your body, "I can make you feel things without even touching you." You tilt your head back, eyes fluttering close as you feel the feeling you get right before you're about to cum.
And then it stops.
You whimper, sad the feeling is gone.
"Don't worry baby. We have all night. Well." He looks at the clock on your wall and shrugs, "At least until midnight, so we better get to it yeah?"
You look at the clock that reads eleven twelve, "why midnight?"
"We can leave hell empty all night, baby. But let's not worry about that right now." He pulls you to him, lifting you up and your legs wrap around his waist.
He walks you over to the bed, "Spread your legs for me, I haven't tasted pussy in years." He kisses down your body and you bite your lip as gets closer to your clit.
You arch your back, moaning out as his tongue drags up between your folds, "Fuck." You look down at him and his eyes flash black, his voice ringing in your ears as his tongue laps at your pussy, "Don't cum until I tell you to cum."
You nod, closing your eyes as you lay your head back, whimpering out his name.
His voice rings in your ears again, "Say my name, baby."
"Colby.. fuck, yes, Colby." You arch your back, moaning out as your hand slides to his hair, pulling slightly which earns a moan from him.
You look back down at him, biting your lip as you lock eyes with him.
You freeze when you feel the feeling of two fingers slip into you, but his hands are still on your hips, digging his nails into your skin.
Your eyes roll back and you let out a loud groan, "Oh my god."
Colby pulls away, "God's not here baby. You're dancing with the devil tonight."
His words make your lips part and the feeling of being finger fucked heightens. Colby watches you as he controls how you feel.
Your legs start to shake as you approach orgasm, but Colby is holding you back from it, "a little longer baby. Can you do that for me?"
You nod quickly, gasping as his hand moves to rub circles onto your clit, "Tell me."
"I-I can.. I can.. I can.." You needed to cum, and you needed to cum bad, "Please? Please Colby."
"Please Colby what, baby?" He watches as you look up at him, "please let me cum."
He smirks and sighs, "Since you asked nicely." He bites his lip, tilting his head as he pulls his hand away, "Cum."
Your body explodes with pleasure. Your thighs press together and you're pulling the sheets off of the mattresses.
The best orgasm you've ever had.
"I take pride in that, baby. Thank you." He leans down, kissing your lips as you breathe heavy, "I'm only here to give you the absolute best pleasure you'll ever get."
You smirk up at him, in awe of his power, "Don't ever leave."
He chuckles and stands back up, "I wish, but if you only knew what it's like down there. Devil runs a strict schedule."
You can't help but laugh and his face goes serious, "I'm not kidding."
Your smile disappears and he can't help but laugh, "Nah, I'm just playing. But I will be back. I can tell you that right now." He slips his shirt off and starts to undo the belt on his jeans, "you won't ever get rid of me."
And you were weirdly okay with that.
You bit your lip as you watch the demon before you undress and walk over to you.
"On your knees, baby."
Your body moves from the bed and drops to the floor, "Not fair."
"Never said I was." He grips your chin and forces you to look up at him, "You can always tell me to stop. But I know you don't want me to."
"No." You whisper and he tilts his head, "No what, baby?"
"Don't stop."
He chuckles, "That's what I thought." He takes his hand away and you part your lips, waiting for the head of his cock to enter.
He lets out a low, deep moan as you work your head down onto his cock, bobbing it and hallowing out your cheeks.
"Fuck, you're better than i ever imagined." He lays a hand on the back of your head and you feel that finger fuck feeling again. You moan around his cock and close your eyes.
"Eyes on me, baby."
You look up at him, whimpering as you feel the pleasure work its ways up your body, legs shaking below you.
"Such a beautiful sight." Colby groans, "fuck, yeah. Keep going." His fingers wrap around your hair, pulling tight as he pushes your head down more.
You gag around him and he pulls your head off, eyes flashing black, "Stand up."
The pleasure stops completely as you rise to your feet, obeying his order.
"Get on your hands and knees." He nods towards the bed and you comply, walking over to the bed and bending over for him.
He walks up behind you, bringing his hand up to let it fall with a quick smack to your one asscheek. You wince, biting your lip, "Do it again."
Colby chuckles, "Since when did you become the one in charge?"
You clench your jaw and look back at him and his eyes flash black, "You won't be able to cum until I say you can." He winks, flashing you a smirk before pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, "How's that?"
You roll your eyes and he gasps, "Are we catching an attitude? Last time I checked.." He reaches up and grabs your hair, pulling your head back and looking down at you, "You weren't the demon in this situation, now, not another word until I tell you."
You bite down on your lip, whimper as you feel his fingers slide up and down your slit, "You're soaked, darling, I wanna hear all those pretty sounds."
He rubs the head of his cock along your folds, slowly pushes past them, "Fuck." You rest your head down on the bed, moaning out loudly.
"That's it." Colby groans as he pushes his hips against your ass. His hands squeeze your hips, pulling you back and holding you on him, listening to each moan and whimper that slips through your lips.
"Let's hear em, babe." He slowly pulls his cock out and thrusts back in, hard. You gasp, moaning loudly he keeps a slow and hard pace, "You sound so pretty."
You grip the sheets, pulling as you try and push back, but you're frozen again, all you can do is moan, hoping he lets you speak.
"You wanna speak, baby?" He taunts, "you wanna tell me how good my cock feels?"
You whimper in response, clenching around his cock and he sigh, "Alright baby. Tell me how good you feel."
"So fucking good." You scream out, "please.." you whimper, "Please don't stop."
"I won't, darling, but you have me so close already." He brings a hand down, slapping the skin of your asscheek, "You are fucking.." he groans and squeezes your ass, railing into you.
"Hands behind your back and keep them there."
Your hands move, laying on your lower back like they're tied together, a moaning, unraveling mess under his control.
And you loved it.
"I knew you couldn't turn me away." Colby moans out, laying a hand over your wrists and holding them, using them to pull you back into his thrusts, "Do you want to be choked?"
"Yes, but I want you to touch me." You squeeze your eyes shut and lift your head slightly as you feel his hand slide up your body and around to the front of your neck.
He pulls you up so you're on your knees, "No one has ever had this much power over me." He whispers in your ear, "No one."
You smirk slightly at both his words and his hand squeezing your neck.
"Such a dirty girl, I know exactly where you're going when it's your time." He thrusts into you, his thrusts quickly getting sloppy, "And I'll be waiting for you."
You moan and tilt your head back, resting it on his shoulder, "Colby." You whimper out, "P-please."
He smirks, "Words, baby. I need you to use your words."
"Let me cum.." you moan out, "P-pl-" he squeezes your neck tighter, cutting off your words. He runs his nose up and down your cheek, "If you cum, that means you're mine. No one else's."
A squeak slips from your throat, "Y-yes."
"I mean it." He bites down on your ear lobe, "I know you have a crush on Sam.." you bite down on your lip and he sighs, "But I guess he can suffice when I'm not able to come to you right away."
Your eyes go wide and Colby chuckles, "I'm just kidding. He touches you and I'll snap his fucking neck."
You can't help but moan as you clench around him, “No one but you.” You whisper out, “P-please Colby.”
“Do you mean it?” His thrusts are slow, as he’s trying not to cum himself, “Be honest with me baby.”
Instantly, “Yes, yes, only you. Only you.”
He glances at the wall and tsks his tongue, “Gotta go soon baby. Lay on your back for me.”
You roll over after he pulls out and he immediately slides back into you, a moan pulled from your lips. Colby brushes hair from your face, staring down at you as you look up at him.
You see his natural look flash and a smile grows on his face, “It’s the horns right?”
You bite your lip and nod and he chuckles, “Yeah. Maybe next time I’ll wear em for ya.” He winks and begins to thrusts again, biting down on his lower lip as he watches your face scrunch up.
“C-Colby, please.” Your legs wrap around his waist and your nails drag up his back, forming red lines, “Fuck.”
He says nothing as he watches you beg for him.
You let out a whine, laying a hand on his cheek, “Please.”
He leans down, pressing his lips to yours before leaning just an inch away, “Cum.”
Your back arches up, a pornographic moan ripping from your lips as your orgasm tears its way through your body.
Colby moans with you, as he fills you with his cum, “that’s it baby. Let it all out.” He watches you twist and turn, trying to get yourself under control, but you quickly realize that you’ll never be in control with Colby.
“Alright, relax, darling.”
You rest into the bed as your chest rises and falls quickly as the dizziness fills your head.
“I’ll be seeing you soon, baby. Don’t go too far.” Colby chuckles and when you open your eyes, you’re alone.
You sit up, pulling a blanket around yourself as you frown at the clock on the wall that reads midnight.
You shake your head, wondering if this actually happened or if it was all just an alcohol induced dream, but the quick settling pain in your legs as you stand up, makes it known to you that it’s definitely a reality and not a dream.
You look in the mirror, laughing slightly as you find yourself missing Colby.
You swore you’d never touch a Oujia board, but now, you’re kinda, in a very weird way, happy you did.
─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───
This is kinda short in my opinion, so sorry about that! But I have ideas for a part 2 on this! I have many many requests that I’m going to try and power through, so part 2’s will be on hold for right now!
Likes and reblogs are appreciated!
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petr1kov · 4 months
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lmao you guys won't believe what happened to me tonight. my cat charlotte was playing and jumping around as she always does, but she knocked down an iron chair and got one of her little legs crushed under the weight of it (because the little idiot clung down to the chair as it fell instead of jumping out of it). she didn't have any visible injuries, but was crying and limping, so i had to take her to the doctor immediately. sure enough, after a battery of exams and a bunch x-rays, it turns out that the worst possible scenario was real and she (seemingly) irreversibly fractured one of the bones in her knee. she had to be sedated and medicated in order to take these exams and is a bit loopy right now.
so, out of absolutely nowhere, i had to come up with over a 1000 reais total to pay for her stay there at this very night - nearly all of my savings for this month. 929 for the exams, and another 100 or so for medicine, so she won't feel pain while we wait for her to get to an orthopedist. the vet said that she will very likely need surgery or risk healing it wrong, but only the orthopedist can say for sure. i really hope she won't need to do it, for every reason in the world, but we'll see in a few days.
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anyway, all of this to say that unfortunately, i must once again ask for your financial help, as currently, i don't have enough money left for me to even pay the orthopedist i'll have to schedule (and definitely not enough for me to live through the rest of the month, regardless). so if you're able to, please consider donating something to my account! and if not, just spreading this post around will be a huge help. thank you! 💞
k0-fi ✨
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sentientcave · 5 months
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Retirement Party
Price has retired from Military life, and he's not handling the change well. But on the one year anniversary of him hanging it up, his boys bring him something special to help keep him busy. You.
Chapter One - The Perfect Gift
Next Chapter >
Contains: No Y/N (Reader is an OC), Kidnapping, Stalking, Drugging, Forcible relocation, Generally creepy behaviour, Threats (open-ended), I guess this might count as human trafficking?, Dubcon everything because Reader is terrified (non-sexual), plus-sized reader, fem/afab reader, There is something fucking wrong with these guys for real.
~3.2k - MDNI - Dark fic! Please mind the content warning above
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"I told ye, she's perfect," Soap said, eyes on the window across the street. They could see you puttering around your living room, wearing a pretty flower print dress as you tidied up. "Good with bairns too, met her when I was pickin' up the niece and nephew from school. She was workin' for some rich family, an' they let her go because the wife found a pair of her knickers in her husband's briefcase." He snickered. He'd been the one to put them there, although, in his opinion, he’d been pushing the bounds for a long while anyway. Sure he’d essentially cast you adrift, jobless and with no one looking out for you, but, well, they were looking after you now, weren’t they? So it wasn’t all that bad.
"Good job, pup," Ghost said fondly, ruffling Johnny's hair. "Captain's gonna love 'er."
"How do you lads want to play it?" Gaz asked. "Could go in tonight. Won’t take much to knock her out, pack up her things, take her to the cabin. Get her nice and situated for when Price gets back."
"No point in waitin', is there?" Ghost asked. "Nice she's on the ground floor. Makes takin' 'er things easier. I'll go round 'n' check the windows in a bit. Should wait till after midnight. Don't want to be spotted by the neighbours."
"No' much risk o' tha'," Soap said. "Knocked over a bunch of bins last I was here and the cunts didna even turn on a light. Just the bonnie thing worryin’ while the rest of ‘em sleep sound."
Gaz lit a cigarette, nodding thoughtfully. "Small apartment too. Is there much to move?"
Soap shook his head. "Nah, no' much. Sweet girl lives simply. I told ye, she's perfect for the captain. He'll be able to spoil the fuck out of her, once she's broken in, aye?"
"Know 'e'll like that. Man needs a wife to dote on. ‘e’s been goin’ a bit crazy, all alone. An' 'e can train'er up nice."
"Think he might share?" Gaz asked wistfully, exhaling a stream of thin smoke as he sighed. "Nice soft girl like that-- Plenty to go around."
Ghost laughed. "Thought we'd 'ave trouble gettin' Johnny to keep 'is 'ands to 'imself, and you're the one droolin'."
"Scuse me for having eyes, mate. Just think she looks sweet."
"We'll get to see first 'and soon.” Ghost clapped him on the shoulder. “Come on lads. Let's get ready."
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You wake up on the hard metal floor of a moving vehicle, your pounding head cradled in someone's hands. That's what you notice first, and the thumbs rubbing circles against your neck soothingly.
It has the opposite effect. Your eyes fly open.
“Hi, bonnie,” a somewhat familiar face grins down at you, blue eyes smiling, but too intense, glittering in the low light that filters in from the windows at the front of the truck. “How’s yer head?”
You grimace, trying to make sense of what’s going on around you. The back of the van seems to be filled with boxes. “Aren’t you Finn and Rory’s uncle?”
“Aw, ye remember me? Knew ye were a sweetheart.”
You try to sit up, but Johnny puts a strong hand on your shoulder and keeps you where you are. Your head feels too heavy to try and fight him, your muscles weak. “What’s going on?” you ask. “What— Is this a kidnapping?”
“Tha’s an ugly word, bonnie. We’re doin’ ye a favour, really. Settin’ ye up with someone respectable. Captain’ll take good care of ye.” He pats your cheek. “Whyna get back to sleep? Still a ways to go, aye?”
Maybe it’s just a bad, weird dream. You do feel foggy, like you’re not fully attached to your body, and keeping your eyes open is a struggle. You’ll wake up back in your own bed, and have a funny story to tell if you ever bump into Johnny again. He’s definitely too nice to be a kidnapper, right? Like, people don’t really do that sort of thing. It has to be a dream.
“Okay,” you mumble, letting your eyes close again.
As you suspected, you wake up again in bed. The headache’s receded some, and there’s warm sunlight streaming in through the windows. You bury your face into the pillows, and then bolt upright. The pillow smells weird, like sweet tobacco and spice, and you don’t get morning sun in your bedroom. The window faces a brick wall across a narrow alley.
The room you’re in now is not your room. It’s sparsely furnished, just a dresser under the window and the bed you’re tucked into, and two doors, one that’s clearly a closet, and one that must lead out into the rest of the… house? Judging by the sound of birdsong outside, you’re out of the city.
You pad to the window and look out. There’s a van in the driveway, and three men carrying things in. One of them looks up and spots you in the window, waving cheerfully.
Not a dream. Fear grips you, ice sliding down your spine, shards settling in your stomach, needling and uncomfortable. Your sinuses prickle like you’re about to cry, but no tears come. You’re too dehydrated to summon them. It’s hard to tell how long you’ve been out— It’s fully daylight outside, but you have no idea what time. A second look around the room finds a digital clock sitting on the nightstand, 3:05 glaring back at you in red.
There’s a knock on the door, and it pushes open. The man who walks in is handsome, smiling at you so beautifully that your automatic response is to try and smile back, although you feel that it’s flimsy, unsure. There’s no chance that this man is here to help you, but you at least hope he’s not here to hurt you either.
“How’re you feeling?” he asks. His voice is as pleasant as his face is, smooth and cheerful, although it makes you wary about him on principle. “You hungry?”
You shake your head. It’s not true, but you can’t trust that there wouldn’t be drugs in anything they give you.
“Well, come on downstairs, hm? Get some water at least. Maybe a tea?”
Your stomach churns. “I might be sick,” you manage to squeak out. He quickly ushers you out into the hall and into a bathroom. You don’t make it to the toilet, but you do manage to make it to the sink. If you had a little more fire in you, you might have tried to vomit bile onto the pretty man’s shoes, but it’s hard to shake the instinct to be good, not to make any trouble, to hope that they’ll just let you go. You’re not even sure what they want. You have no family to ransom, you don’t have any money to speak of, you’re just a fat little ex-nanny still paying off an English Literature degree from a second-rate college.
You turn on the sink to wash away the sick, and rinse your mouth out. Your hands start shaking when you realize your toothbrush is sitting in the holder next to the sink, like it belongs there. Your makeup bag is sitting on the counter too, and when you look down, you realize you’re standing on your own bathmat, taken from your home and arranged here, as if effects from your own house are supposed to make you feel comfortable. You look at your reflection in the mirror, and then at the man still standing in the doorway, his brown eyes all concern, as if he wasn’t party to a fucking nightmare.
You straighten up, gripping the counter to steady yourself. “What the hell is this?” you ask, trying to inject some authority into your quaking voice. “Who are you? What do you want from me?”
“I’m Gaz. Nice to meet you. Johnny had lots of nice things to say about you.”
So that hadn’t been a dream either. You look around the room desperately, looking for anything that could possibly be used as a weapon, but Gaz seems to know exactly what you’re doing, and he steps into your space quickly to grab your hands.
“None of that. Come on. You’ll feel better after a tea, yeah? Then you can get ready to meet the captain.”
He leads you downstairs. Questions spin around your head, but you’re not sure if it’s worth asking. Gaz only bothered to respond to one of the three you’ve asked so far, and it wasn’t the one that you were most interested in an answer to. So you stay quiet instead, taking in the layout of the big room. A front door and a back door, and windows that look out onto a forest on one side of the property, and more forest on the other side, beyond a large cleared space with a neat garden and a few fruit trees. There’s a second building that you can just see the corner of from the kitchen window, more likely a garage than a neighbour.
Gaz backs you up against the counter and leans down slightly, his hands gripping your thighs. You panic, the touch surprising you, and slap him across the face. The sharp sound makes you freeze, like it wasn’t you that had done it. He takes advantage of your surprise to shove you up onto the counter and grab both your hands with one of his, all the friendliness draining our of his eyes in an instant as he points a scolding finger at you. You feel like you’ve done something naughty that you’re not fully aware of the implications of yet, a badly trained dog or a child. “I’m going to let that one slide, because I understand that this is a big change for you. But you’re not going to like what happens if you try that again, understood?”
You nod quickly, your own eyes wide. “I-I’m sorry,” you say, the instinct for appeasement rearing it’s skittish little head.
And then the smile returns, as pretty as before, storm clouds blowing away as though they’d never been there to begin with. “It’s alright, doll. Just don’t do it again. And definitely don’t try that attitude on with the captain.” He taps the pointing finger against your nose playfully, and lets your hands drop back into your lap.
The rules seem simple enough. Be good and sweet, and get friendly faces in return, to a degree. No matter how cooperative you are, you doubt they’re going to let you go home. Fighting back means consequences, and you’re not sure how far those consequences will extend. If you’re too much trouble, it’s not a stretch to imagine that they’ll just kill you outright and try again with a meeker woman. You don’t yet know if death would be the more preferable outcome.
You pull your sweater down over your thighs. The black zip-up hoodie isn’t yours (the word Riley is stitched onto the front of it), but it’s big, and even though it smells faintly of cigarettes, it affords you at least a little modesty and comfort, more than the tank top and the sleep-shorts you’re wearing underneath do. Riley must be the third man. Was he the captain? Or was there a fourth one somewhere?
Johnny comes through the door carrying your suitcases, and he grins widely when he sees you, the charming, boyish one that you’d thought was handsome before. It’s only unnerving now. “Didja have a good sleep, bonnie?”
“You drugged me,” you accuse.
“Weel, of course. You were no’ goan ta come all peaceable, and LT wouldna be patient if ye were cryin’ the whole way here.” He trots upstairs, and you can hear him drop the bags with a thump, before he’s clattering back down the steps and leaning against the counter next to you. “How’d’ye like yer new home, bonnie? S’a nice place, aye? Better than tha’ little shoebox back in the city.”
“I like my apartment,” you protest.
“Psh, ye’d say tha’. Puttin’ on a brave face since yer such a good girl. But it wasna verra safe, was it? No’ a single neighbour paid us any mind while we were loadin’ up yer things. No’ a good place for a single girl, aye?” He reaches out and puts a big hand on your knee, squeezing lightly. “Now ye’ll be taken care of, like ye should be.”
“I don’t want to be taken care of.”
“Nonsense. Ye’ll be glad, once ye get used to things. Already looks real homey in here, don’t ye think?” He gestures at the living room.
You twist to look, and your stomach sinks. Your throw pillows are on the couch, one of the afghans you crocheted hanging over the back of it. You recognize the titles of your books on the shelves. These men were nothing if not thorough, surgically removing your entire life and transplanting it to this house in the woods, with it’s wood panel walls and big, overstuffed leather couches.
He continues blithely, like he’s not delivering some of the most horrifying news you’ve ever heard. “Most of your furniture’s in the garage, ye can sort tha’ out with Price, aye? But we brought all yer clothes and decorations and whatnot in. Figure ye should wear tha’ pretty black sundress, an’ those long stockin’s with the clippy belt, ye ken the one? Cap’ll like those.”
They’d been through all your things. If you had anything left to throw up, you might’ve again. Gaz sets a glass of water on the counter next to you. “How d’you take your tea, doll?”
“Milk, two sugars,” Johnny answers for you. “Our sweet lass has a sweet tooth, aye?”
“How do you know that?” You can hear the quiver in your voice, and it doesn’t slip by either of them.
“Come oan, hen, ye ken I didna jus’ pick ye off the street. Did my research. Wouldna pick just anyone for the captain.”
“When he said he’d found the perfect girl, we didn’t believe him at first,” Gaz says, leaning against the counter on the other side of the kitchen while the tea steeps. “But Ghost and I knew he was right, soon as we saw you.” He nods at the glass. “Drink your water. You haven’t had anything since last night.”
“Is it drugged?” you ask flatly.
“No, want ye awake for when Price gets here. Yer a real cute thing asleep, but we want him ta hear yer pretty voice and see that smile, aye?” Johnny reaches past you and picks up the glass of water, taking a big swig to demonstrate it’s harmlessness.
You take a careful sip when he hands it back to you, and then another, resisting the urge to just gulp the whole thing down. The door opens again, and the biggest man you’ve seen in your life walks in, wearing a black t-shirt and a mask with the jaw of a skull printed on it, pulled up over the lower half of his face. He looks at you dispassionately, and then at Gaz and Johnny. “What the ‘ell have you two muppets been sayin’ to the poor thing?” he asks, his voice rumbling like an avalanche. “She looks like she’s gonna faint.”
“Figure she’s just peaky,” Gaz says defensively. “I’m making her tea.”
The big guy swats Johnny’s hand away from your knee impatiently, and cages you in against the counter, one huge arm on either side of you. “How’re you feelin’ bird? Be honest.”
“Terrified,” you admit.
He chuckles. “Sensible, considerin’. But you don’t need to worry, olright? No one’s gonna hurt you, so long as you’re good. And you want to be good, don’t you, bird?”
You nod. You’d thought Gaz and Johnny were big, but this one’s huge, broad and tall and even scarier. It’s clear why they started off introducing themselves to you in the order they did. If this man had been the first thing you’d seen after waking up you probably would have gone into hysterics.
“Use your words, pet.”
“I want to be good,” you say obediently, because you don’t see any other options, at least for the moment.
“Good girl,” he says, and there’s the slightest hint of a smile in his dark eyes.
Somehow, this is the most comforting thing that you’ve experienced all day. You won’t be hurt if you’re good, and you are being good.
He pushes back from the counter slightly, giving you more space, takes the mug of tea from Gaz, and hands it off to you. “Small sips,” he instructs. “And maybe a biscuit, if you think you can keep it down.”
“Are you the captain?” you ask nervously, gripping the mug with two hands.
“Hm? No. ‘e’s still about an hour out. I’m Simon. Ghost to these two.” He fishes an open package of biscuits out of the cupboard and sets them next to you. “Once you finish your tea, we’ll get you ready. Want to make a good first impression, right bird?”
“Not really,” you admit. “I’d like to go home.”
He laughs, at least finding your honesty amusing. “That won’t be ‘appenin’. If Price dun’t want you, I’ll keep you myself. But I’ll tell you right now, you’ll like Price better. If you’re good for him, he’ll be real good to you, understood?”
You bite your tongue. It won’t do you any good to point out that a man that would accept a person as a gift is probably not capable of being good to anyone. Good is subjective, and the three men in front of you are lunatics. Their captain probably has the slightest bit stronger a grasp on his sanity, or a consistent moral code, if not a particularly righteous one. So you just keep your mouth shut, and drink your tea, and eat two chocolate digestives while Gaz and Johnny start collecting things to make dinner.
As soon as you set your empty mug to the side Ghost pops you down from the counter and ushers you upstairs with a big hand placed a little too low on your back. He tells you what to wear (down to the lingerie), but blessedly doesn’t insist on watching you get dressed. He does sit on the edge of the tub and watch you put on makeup, however, requesting red lipstick and winged eyeliner. Your hands are still a little shaky, but you manage to do as he asks. His eyes smile at you just a little when you’re obedient. You feel pathetic for not making a fuss, but you’re not sure what you can possibly do, except something stupid that will make them angry enough to hurt you.
He helps you into a pair of strappy red heels that had been languishing in the back of your closet before they dug everything out, and straightens the seam of your stockings, running his big hands up your calves. It’s like you’re a doll, dressed just how he wants, something to look pretty and say less than nothing, a gift for some other man you’ve never met to keep on a shelf.
Or worse, to play with.
You hear Johnny and Gaz greet someone downstairs, their voices loud and excited, and your heart skips nervously.
Ghost rises to his feet, smiling so big you can see it even with the mask. “Wait right here, pet,” he says firmly, leaving you sitting on the edge of the bed while he goes off to greet his captain. “Want to introduce you proper.”
So you sit, and you wait, shaking and nervous, for what feels like eternity, until you hear Simon’s surprisingly light footfalls on the stairs again. He offers you a hand, and hoists you over his shoulder as soon as you’re on your feet, carrying you down into the living room.
“We all pitched in,” Gaz says, as casually as if he meant throwing in five dollars for a card. “But she was Soap’s idea.”
“Picked ‘er out special, Cap,” Johnny says. “She’s perfect for ye.”
“She?” an unfamiliar voice asks. “Don’t tell me you got me a dog.”
“Better than that, skipper.” Ghost laughs as he circles around the couch, and drops you carefully into the man’s lap, stepping into line with the other two. “We got you a wife.”
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I've been low-key thinking about this concept since I read ohbo-ohno's Don't Leave Me Locked in Your Heart a while back (If you haven't read and you like a good dark fic, you should click that link, you may enjoy it). I think getting someone a person as a gift, or being given as a gift, rather, is a fun fucked up fantasy to explore. I'm not entirely sure where I'll take this but I promise to put in content warnings. Let me know if I miss something, I don't want anyone to be surprised by what they find!
Image Credits: Banner
Dividers: 1 - 2 - 3 by @/Cafekitsune
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twizzie-lairs · 8 months
Text
My Darling, My Honey
Alastor X Fem!Reader (Part 5)
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Quick Notes:
This is when both reader/you and Alastor are both alive. (... we'll probably end up in hell later on btw so stay tuned...)
Reader is an artist/painter.
Part 5:
It was almost pure bliss.
Except many months later, you found out a secret of his one day.
He was an exceptional chef, you were always in awe of how he cooked such magnificent dishes every day.
But one day, you peeked out into the forest through the window in the living room and saw Alastor standing alone, covered in blood. Your first instinct was to run outside, so you did just that.
You rush to his side and ask if he's okay, and what had happened to make him covered in such copious amounts of blood.
He blinks a few times before oddly turning his head to you, breaking out of his stupor, "Oh my dearest (y/n), do not fret so. For I am only acquiring our dinner for tonight!"
You look down at what he is holding in his hands. Your hand shot up to cover your mouth. A leg. A human leg. Your eyes then trail to the ground where you see a bloody human body, mangled beyond recognition. "This is.. dinner?"
A large grin appears on Alastor's face, "Quite right! This one should be enough to last us through the week!"
He looks at your face with an almost vicious look to his eyes, awaiting your response anxiously, not that he would let that show, anyways.
All you can manage is "Oh. Okay." Before you walk back inside the house without another word.
It's no exaggeration to say that your brain chemistry was permanently altered from that moment onward.
The situation felt so strange and bizarre, you didn't know what to think. Part of you knew that was he's been doing is extremely horrible and corrupt. It almost made you empty the contents of your stomach, it didn't feel real.
It didn't feel real, but suddenly some of Alastor's behaviors started to make sense. His picky taste for food...He never let you help with cooking, you had chalked it up to him being more of a perfectionist, but now... you know its more than that. He was hiding the fact that he was butchering and preparing human flesh, right in your very home, all this time.
But.. for some reason... all you could think about was how dedicated he was to providing a comfortable life for you, because he truly loved you. Everything he did every day showed you that you mattered and that you deserved only the best.
"But I still love him with all my heart... maybe I'm just as messed up..." Was a sentence your mind kept repeating to itself for quite some time.
Your appetite shrinks after the initial shock for a few days, but you were never one to skip meals or have your appetite be gone completely, even if you were sick. In this instance, you weren't sure if it was a blessing or a curse in this case.
The meals he made for you had never made you sick in the past, so your body was already used to eating his cooking, and he made such amazing food, carefully crafted with such love and attention to detail, you couldn't help but keep eating his delicious cooking, no matter how bizarre and immoral it was.
"I think I really am just as messed up..." The thought crossed your mind again, but thoughts were interrupted by a rare occurrence, a kiss on the cheek from Alastor as he set your plate down in front of you.
The fact that you never stopped eating his cooking and always thanked him for his food and hard work, even after knowing where the main ingredient comes from, solidified the fact that you were the one. You loved him even after seeing him all bloody, holding a dismembered corpse, and telling you it was dinner. It was this pivotal moment that he knew, that you were the one to be his beloved forever.
In the coming weeks, things went back to "normal". You were settling into the new normal, as Alastor didn't hide the meal prep like he used to, and seeing him bloody and bringing in mysterious cuts of meat into the house became a normal sight to you.
One night when you were going to see Mimzy, Alastor informed you that he was unable to escort you that night. You were a little disappointed, but he assured you it was okay for you to go, it was just that he had plans that he wouldn't divulge any information on, no matter how much you pressed him.
Little did you know, but that night, Alastor was out on the town shopping for the perfect ring to propose to you with.
-> Part 6
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stevesbipanic · 7 months
Text
@steddielovemonth Day 24: Love is the only thing we can take with us. 
@thefreakandthehair
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Steve looked around his room, it would be the last time he did. He could hear his parents still arguing downstairs. He knew he didn't have a lot of time, soon he'd hear his father's footsteps coming up the stairs.
"You're no son of mine!"
Steve hadn't felt like his son in a long time anyway. When he thought of dads he thought of Hopper at his graduation or Wayne watching the game with him. He'd called Hopper, Dad, when he woke up in the hospital and saw the previously dead police chief at his bedside. No, Steve Harrington hadn't been Richard Harrington's son in a long time.
He knew he didn't have much time, but he'd been planning for this moment, the day they would find out. It was inevitable, small town, nosy neighbours. Steve kept his room impersonal for a reason, it wouldn't last forever. Kneeling quickly he grabbed his box, it was all he would need.
The clothes he actually liked wearing weren't in this closet anymore, the beemer had always been in his name. Nothing else in the house mattered but this box. The last piece of Steve in these four walls.
"Steven?"
He'd asked her to call him Steve all his life, she didn't.
"Can't you see what you're doing to your mother?"
Maria Harrington hadn't been Steve's mother in a long time. Mothers were there for their kids when they woke up from nightmares. Claudia never judged when he woke up screaming on the couch. A true mother looked after their son when he was sick in bed, soup and comfort and love. Joyce brought him soup last winter, when the flu had him stuck in bed, he didn't even call, she just knew.
"I know, I'm leaving now."
"Please, Steven, there are places we can go to fix you," she cried. Mothers don't think their kid's heart needs fixing.
"You were supposed to be a real man!" Richard yelled as he passed him down the stairs. Fathers are proud of their sons growing into protectors and carers.
"This will never be your home again!" Was the last thing Steve heard as he closed his car door and placed the small box on the passenger seat. Parents always have a home waiting for you, even when they think you're wrong.
"Steve?"
Wayne is the first one to spot him as he arrives at the trailer. It's sunday, family dinner at the rotating family table. Tonight was meant to be at the Munsons.
"Steve, honey? You ok?" Joyce is the first one to touch him, worry in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, son." Hopper is the first one to read his teary eyes like a book. They all knew where he'd been.
Claudia gingerly took the box from him, "I'll put this in your room, sweetheart, let Eddie know you're back home."
Steve could hear the kids yelling around the picnic table outside; could smell dinner cooking. Robins laughter piercing though the air and Eddie's boombox playing loudly.
"Baby?"
There he was.
"Hey, Eds, think we'll have to move up that moving date, if it's ok?"
Eddie's features softened from worry to sympathy, "Course, sunshine, although I'm still surprised Joyce and Hop didn't kidnap you months ago.
Later, when he'd given everyone hugs goodbye, some were a bit tighter than others, he sat on the bed with his box.
"You wanna unpack that alone, or want help?"
"You can look, it's not a secret, just special," Steve replied, patting the space next to him. Eddie plopped himself down beside his boyfriend, lifting the lid.
Inside was a mess of bits and pieces. Eddie reached in and took out a stack of photos. Steve at his graduation, a big smile with Hopper's arm around his shoulders, Dustin beaming beside him. Robin putting Steve in a headlock at the quarry last summer, he refuses to say he let her win. Eddie at his first show back, scars on full display. And countless other memories.
There were also little toys from the arcade and pebbles and ticket stubs and letters and a full life story of one Steve Harrington told through the love of his family.
"This was all I went back to get, all I needed. Wasn't expecting them to know about you already, but I knew they'd find out one day. Couldn't let them have this, not after they spent so long trying to take my heart from me."
"I think it's high time we clear some space around here for all this, Stevie, time to let your love be out on full display."
When Steve fell asleep that night, wrapped in the arms of a boy who went to hell from him and staring at the new photos on the wall, he truly felt home.
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ruruvxz · 15 days
Note
Or any Hanni fic would be great. Like domestic hanni would be extremely cute too.
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“Anniversary”
Girlfriend!Hanni Pham x Fem!Reader
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↳synopsis: Taking a well needed rest was everyone’s dream after a long week of slaving away on your desk, filling out spreadsheets and whatnot. And you were no expectation to that rule! But even if you yearned for that break, you couldn’t get it because of a house party you were invited to; that just so happened to be the same day as your anniversary you forgot about. Your poor girlfriend couldn’t take it any longer!
↳cw: swearing, neglectful reader, mentions of alcohol, jealous Hanni, fluff
↳wc: 2.6k
a/n: genuinely this has been marinating in my drafts for so long, I keep forgetting what I want to write. sorry it took quite a while to get back to this request but we’re all good! anyways hope you enjoyed!!
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You felt awfully sluggish today, maybe it was the copious amount of tasks your awful boss assigned to you, or perhaps it was the looming fact that you agreed to party at some old high school friend's apartment. Not to mention the fact that you'd only have a few hours of rest at your apartment before having to get up again, you really could've just declined the offer but your friend needed you to be there, and you didn't want to be a flaker!
As you dragged yourself to your shared apartment with your girlfriend, you inserted the key into the door and snapped it open, letting out a loud grunt as you pushed yourself through it. Immediately coming inside you scent the pungent aroma wafting in the air, the trace getting more noticeable as you walk past the kitchen. Popping your head inside you see your girlfriend, Hanni, trying to cook up something. It was surprising since she usually wasn't the one to cook, nor come home before you.
From the look of her messily thrown-together bun, staying intact by a flimsy claw clip, she returned not too long away. Hanni looked a bit too fixated on what she was cooking that she didn't even notice you coming in, letting out an exasperated sigh you walked over to her. Rubbing her back while leaning over her shoulder, Hanni was a bit surprised her body jolted at your touch.
"Oh, your home!" She squealed, turning her gaze towards yours, her glasses almost falling from the bridge of her nose. "I'm making us dinner!" She smiled, looking back at the pan that was slowly grilling a few vegetables. You took the time to inspect all the work she put into constructing the perfect meal, and honestly, you were looking forward to her cooking.
"Thank you so much, Hanni, I needed this." You expressed your gratitude before she lifted a piece of broccoli to your lips, giving a little chuckle as you ate the broccoli without hesitation.
Sadly, as you munched on the green vegetable, you felt your phone vibrating in your back pocket, your ringtone filling both your and Hanni's ears. It wasn't all that uncommon for anyone to call you after you clocked off, but from the contact number it most definitely wasn't an innocently confused junior coworker, it was your friend. "Shit" you mumbled as you checked the time.
"I'm so sorry baby, I just realized I have something to do... I can't eat dinner with you tonight." You sullenly spoke, putting the phone back in your pocket, Hanni just gave you a distraught look. "I just remember I'm meeting up with Belle, she's having a get-together." Mumbling as you continued. You felt so awful but you already promised Belle— Hye-Won that you'd meet up with her, but your poor girlfriend was slaving away to make you both a delicious meal.
"Oh uhm! It's okay Y/N don't worry about it—, we can always have dinner another time" Hanni reassured, clamping her palm on top of yours; it felt so heart-crushing seeing your girlfriend reacting this way, but you already made a promise to a friend. "M' sorry baby, I promise we'll have dinner together next time... it's just I don't wanna let Hye-Won down."
"Don't worry about it Y/N! There's always next time." Hanni laughed weakly as she pulled her hands away from yours, breaking any contact she had with you to flimsily play with her food. Being the pushover she was, she couldn't get herself to protest against you, even if today was special, not only to her but also to you, to both of you. Today had marked your 2nd anniversary, a day which would've and should've been celebrated together in each other's arms, but that completely flew over your head. Technically it wasn't your "lovers anniversary" as per se, it was more like the day the both of you first met. It was a tad bit silly, you both met in the university entry week and kindled your friendship turned relationship from there.
But the story of how you met wasn't even the focal point, what was more important was the fact that unbeknownst to you, you had been subconsciously ignoring her the whole day. Whether that be this morning when you mistakenly abandoned her when you hastily got ready for work, greeting her with an empty apartment when she woke up. Or when you unknowingly lost your phone the entire day just to be greeted with multiple missed calls and messages from your girlfriend.
It was all too much, and Hanni felt as if she was losing you, what was she even to do? She can't confront you about it for fear of scaring you away even further, but if she continues to ignore the issue who knows what will happen? All she could do was cook you one of your favorite meals in the hopes that you'd fall back into her arms. And by the stare you were in, it didn't look like it was quite working; maybe it was doing the opposite.
Overwhelmed by the thought of you leaving her, her face scrunched into an unpleasant one, overthinking every minuscule detail, plotting different ways she could get you back. Even if you were dense, you weren't an idiot and could see the discomfort written all over her sweet pout. "You know... you can come with me if you want baby." You offered reaching your hand out to pinch her cheek, shaking it around a bit to tease her.
Hanni's eyes instantly lit up at the idea, maybe this could get her the perfect opportunity to get through to you, and maybe you'd leave your little meeting with your friends to have a proper date to celebrate your anniversary. "Really? I can?" She asked pushing her hair out her face as she looked up at you, practically jumping at the opportunity to spend a little bit of time with you. "Of course bun, I'd probably be bored out of my mind anyways." You laughed taking your hand off her cheeks to ruffle a bit of her hair. "C'mon' let's get going bunny— promise you'll like it, baby."
"Okay!"
This was a mistake. Everything about this "get-together" was a mistake. Hanni was under the presumption that this was a small little hangout with a bunch of close friends, but it could be farther from the truth. In all reality she was stuffed like a pack of sardines with a bunch of people she had never met, you told her it was a high school reunion but she didn't know half of your graduate grade would come. All of which you apparently "knew" somewhat, whether it was from mutual connections or you genuinely liked hanging out with them.
Whatever it was, you ditched her to go hang out with a bunch of pals you hadn't seen in a while, leaving her to sit on a crowded couch and socialize with three other girls she'd never met. Hanni's bubbly personality was only able to get her so far before eventually getting more and more drained as the girls got to talking more. Maybe it was because they kept talking about mindless topics or maybe it was because her eyes kept lingering back to yours. Your carefree attitude when you gave your devoted attention to the girl who was talking to you infuriated her more and more.
The girl had soft curly locks that reached to her waist, she was undoubtedly taller than Hanni and was a lot more different from her. Just the way she presented herself struck a cord within Hanni, especially when she was all so bold whenever she touched the hems of your shirt. The curly-haired girl's personality was oddly touchy, getting more and more bold as she rubbed your back and your arms with a soft giggle. The fact she was getting away with this and the fact you were so dense about this made your girlfriend bubble up with rage even more.
In your defense, you got more and more uncomfortable by the touch but were far too intoxicated to convey your message. Resorting to backing away slowly whenever she got too close, it was the least you could do as you knew your girlfriend could be here any time. As the curly-haired girl continued your conversation it took Hanni far more constraint, not to have had to pry the curly-haired woman's hand away from you. Although she was left on the couch watching from afar not saying a single peep to not stir conflict with someone she did not know about.
This didn't negate the fact that Hanni was still aggravated, to the point that she hadn't noticed she tightened her grip on the plastic cup, that it started to leave soft dents. Oh how she wished she could just chuck her drink at the girl next to you and drag you away, but she was better than that.
It wasn't until the curly-haired girl got a bit too handsy when she was checking out your necklace that Hanni got you for your birthday that she finally got Hanni to reach her tipping point. She threw the pillow that was resting on her lap back on the couch and excused herself from the conversation she was having with the other girls. Strutting over towards the both of you and wrapping her arms around your waist tightly. Making sure to dig her head in the crook of your neck with a pouting face. "What are you guys talking about..." Hanni whined playfully as her gaze burned into the woman's in front of her.
"Huh? Hey baby, she was talking about how much she liked the necklace you got me." You replied honestly, a bit oblivious to the girls glaring at one another.
"You must be the lucky girl, Hanni was it? I'm Aaliyah." The taller girl replied, tucking a strand of her curly hair behind her ear with a soft laugh. She took one glance at Hanni, before pulling her attention back at you, completely ignoring her presence before talking once more. Almost as if Hanni was just some close friend, then an actual partner for you; the conversation lasted for a bit before your girlfriend cut her off once more.
Her grip slid away from your waist and swung around your neck as she talked, grasping onto you tightly when she spoke. “So how about you? Has anyone been lucky in your life?” Hanni asked bluntly, a bit of a rude question from your point of view, but what were you to say about that? “No, not anyone I can think of right now,” Aaliyah replied irritated by her question using her free hand to fix your puka shell necklace, before Hanni used her arm to swat her away. The tension grew thicker as your slightly drunken state was standing right in the middle of the two girls.
It came to a point where both girls were having a sarcastic and bitter conversation about relationships, as you stood there, Hanni’s arms around your neck while another girl was flirting with your face. You were beyond embarrassed and just wanted to run back to the car and hide, but the way the conversation was going it didn’t seem like it. “That’s a shame you can’t find a good match, maybe avoid going for other people who are taken? I don’t know just a hunch.” She bit back, taking a jab at how out of all the people in this party she was flirting with her Y/N.
“You’re so right, sorry I didn’t see a leash on them.” She laughed and looked back at you and back to Hanni, the way Hanni wrapped her arms tighter after that comment struck a nerve with her. “Oh dear, why would anyone need to do that, maybe if people respected others there would be no need for that.” She scoffed, before releasing her grip off of you and giving her full attention to the snarky woman in front of her.
“Oh don’t be THAT insecure—“
“Don’t be like that Aly.” You finally spoke up, defending your girlfriend while your head pounded at the situation and the fact the music was oddly getting louder. “C’mon bun, let’s go.”
“Awh Y/N, we were only playing around!” Aaliyah responded rubbing her nape before looking at Hanni’s scorned expression, it intimidated her nonetheless. “You play too much Aly…” You responded looking back at Hanni, stroking her head before resting a sweet kiss on her flushed cheeks, explaining to her how Aliyah was just a friend who likes to tease other people’s partners for some sick reason.
“She’s an… oddball, that’s for sure, she’s just messing with you.” You laugh lowly, continuing to run your fingers through your girlfriend’s hair as she wraps her arms around your waist. It didn’t take long before you soon forced Aaliyah to apologize to your girlfriend before you left, it was a bit awkward, but they were both able to set the record straight. Finally making it back to the car and hurling yourself in the passenger seat to let Hanni drive back home, being the most sober one between the both of you.
The drive back was silent, but she still resented you for the fact you forgot your anniversary, once you both made it back to the apartment she quickly changed and headed to bed. You found it odd that she went straight to the bedroom without a mindless conversation or a sweet treat, so you quickly ran to her aid. Maybe something was wrong! (There most definitely was, she was on the verge of tears as she laid her head down on the pillow, hoping that maybe by some miracle you’d realize how much today meant to her. And how quickly you forgot her anniversary for the whole day.)
“Hanni, is everything okay? Why do you look so down?” You asked kneeling in front of her as she rested her head on the pillow with her eyes squeezed shut. She didn’t reply, as she just turned her head away from yours, looking to the other side to get some rest. “Don’t be like that, what’s wrong hun?” You asked standing up and stroking her arm over the covers, to give her some comfort, from the discomfort you didn’t know you caused.
“Anniversary.”
“What?”
“Today was our anniversary.” She cried as she rolled back over toward you, tears welling up in her eyes. You felt awful as you continued to rub her shoulders, you really didn’t know it was your anniversary today, and when you looked at your phone to clear your suspicions everything clicked.
“Hanni…”
“What.” She barked as she hid herself over the covers once more, hiding her crying face. “Our anniversary is tomorrow, not today.” You laughed as you pulled the covers away from her body to show her your phone with the date plastered on top of the time. Hanni’s cheeks burned red as she sat back up, apologizing profusely for the way she acted, as you laughed at the whole situation. Once she finally stopped apologizing you grabbed her and pulled her into your chest as you ran your fingers through the back of her hair. Spending the rest of the night in each other's arms before the clock finally struck midnight.
“Would you look at that?” You looked up at the clock, displaying a perfect midnight. “Technically it’s our anniversary today.” Laughing you nudged Hanni before she pushed you off playfully as she stared at the clock.
“Happy anniversary Y/N.”
“Happy anniversary Hanni.”
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