#but can't imagine all the emotions she must be feeling and especially while going through a divorce

[mayasdeluca]

Makes me so happy to see so much love and support on Ali's post of the billboard in NYC in celebration of her retirement. Seeing so many people ranging from family, friends, teammates, former teammates, players around the league all showing their support and acknowledging that she deserves this just shows how big of an impact she's had on this sport on and off the field. Hope she's enjoying every minute of it and able to celebrate to the best of her ability ❤️

[candy-heart-brew]

I've seen some fans theorize that the lyrics to "Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight" tie into Frank's developing relationship with Eddie, potentially foreshadowing a grisly end for a favorite mailman. The lyrics are incredibly emotional and poor Frank sounds like he's fighting back tears during this entire record, making it feel like there's something more going on under the surface. While it's entirely possible that this is meant to foreshadow Frank and Eddie eventually being separated, I think the song's symbolism could be pointing to a different direction...

I touched a bit on this in a different post but to summarize: the attitude that Frank displays during "Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight" is completely at odds to his reaction to Eddie at the party. During BaBaG he's sad but resigned to fate, he knows that hibernation is inevitable but takes a bit of comfort in the knowledge that it's only temporary and that his loneliness will only last through winter. So, he does his best to power through, keep his personal feelings out of it, and assure his little friends that he'll be alright.

By contrast, his reaction to Eddie's behavior at the party is one of panic and confusion. He doesn't understand what's happening to Eddie or why he's suddenly gone unresponsive, he just knows that he isn't acting like himself at all and he can't accept that. He refuses to leave Eddie alone even after being ignored, continuing to push until he gets a response, at which point he immediately realizes something is wrong and tries to push further, only stopping when Eddie leaves. At this point in the story they don't appear to be especially close but Frank's terrified reaction speaks volumes about his true feelings for Eddie. And if this is how he reacts to him being quieter than usual, I can't imagine that he'd be much calmer or more composed in the event of losing Eddie altogether. IMO, he's far more likely to get angry and demand answers rather than wax poetic. So while "Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight" could potentially foreshadow Eddie's fate, Frank's subdued reaction makes me question that interpretation. I do think there's a deeper meaning to BaBaG, that Frank is singing about something other than bugs, just not Eddie. But then who? Well, as we found out in this last update, bugs are not the only creatures in the neighborhood that hibernate...

Think about it for a moment- Julie is going to be gone for months, leaving Frank all alone without his best friend. Who's going to invite him to games now? Who's going to listen to him about his interests and laugh at his jokes? Who's going to bake gelatin monstrosities with him? Julie is practically his other half so to lose her for months on end must be very difficult for him! He knows that she can't help it and he doesn't blame her but that hardly makes it any easier. All he can really do now is just push that sadness down, wish her goodnight, and wait for her to return.

Under this interpretation, certain lyrics in BaBaG take on a different meaning to me. Lines like "I know it's for the best, I can't keep you," or "I'll be the first to tell you, you just can't stay," could imply an oncoming rift between the two of them. The recent updates have implied that Frank and Julie were written to be a couple and were perceived as such in-universe. We don't yet know how the two of them felt about that but we do know that they were very close to the point of doing basically everything together! But now Frank is falling in love with someone else, someone who may very well come to eclipse Julie in terms of importance to him. No matter how much he loves her, no matter how much they might want to stay together, there are some things you just can't fight and this play-relationship they have can't last forever...

But that's just my interpretation!

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

You did Jasper and Alice swap bodies

What if they swapped gift?

Anon's referring to this post.

Now we're talking.

Oh man, are we talking.

Alice, Jasper, and Their Gifts

The thing about Alice and Jasper is that who they are is highly dependent on their gifts, especially Alice.

Alice has no memories of being human, she woke up one day as a vampire, and it was her visions and the hope that she would one day join the Cullens, have a mate, and a wonderful family that kept her going.

Not only that, but she cannot remember a time without them. Alice's every decision, every thought, every action she takes is informed by the visions she sees. We see her in canon (both in Twilight and Midnight Sun) move about her life in an oddly impersonal manner as her every action is reactionary to what others will do in response. As a result, this dehumanizes those around her, even her beloved family, as she starts interacting with them in ways to get her what she wants rather than seeing them as sentient beings in charge of their own choices.

Alice relies on her gift for big things, such as the Eclipse debacle, to little things such as planning Jasper's birthday gifts or seeing what he'll get her. When she can't use her gift, around the wolves and Renesmee, she's actively distressed (granted for good reason as those were high stakes times) but shows how much she relies on it.

Jasper isn't quite as dependent on his but it is a fundamental reason of why he at least initially pursued the diet (Edward argues Jasper does the diet primarily for Alice but we see it as him having had initially no choice). Jasper's gift effectively dog collared him and forced him onto this path that, per his history, he otherwise never would have taken. We also do see him make occasional, casual, use of it to defuse arguments, strip Carlisle of his morals apparently to make the man steal a car and knock out a woman, and knock Bella out. It's nothing close to Alice, though, the gift doesn't define him and for a while he didn't even realize he had it, not until he left Maria.

All this to say, their gifts are important.

They Swap

Alice is now blind all the time. This is much worse than the shifters and Renesmee, where she knows its temporary. Her gift is actively gone. I imagine Alice panics and suspects foul play, the Volturi must have somehow stripped her of her gift. When it becomes clear Jasper now has it, she assumes they guinea pigged on the Cullens and... uh... messed up and gave her very useful gift to Jasper who is also a Cullen instead of to Caius or something.

So, Alice is panicking, Edward's also sounding the alarm, and the Cullen houeshold is a hive of anxiety. However, you also have Alice trying to get by in her daily life and getting increasingly frustrated and terrified that she can't see anything.

She no longer knows who might slip, when strangers will pop in, or even small things like if someone will really like the gift she bought them. Alice will be shocked to discover that she doesn't actually know these people that well, without being able to sift through their future decisions, she has to guess what they'll do and I imagine her guesses are often wrong for the same reason that Edward seems to be terrible at reading people: she's too reliant on her gift.

Alice feels like a stranger to her own family as a result and Jasper's gift making her feel everyone's emotions is not helping her stress levels. Alice ends up unintentionally making everyone angry and terrified as her emotions leak to them.

Jasper, on the other hand, is now witness to all the horrible things the Cullens (looking at you, Edward) think of doing but don't actually do. Jasper is now playing the role of the voyeur he never wanted to in a way he may have suspected at times but never suspected the full brunt of. Jasper has to try to navigate who everyone around him really is, are they only the choices they actually end up making, or also these other futures of choices they consider but don't take.

Add onto this Edward loathing being spied on by Jasper and you've got a hot, hot, awful mess that makes everybody miserable.

I imagine Jasper, feeling like the root of most of the drama, ends up taking a vacation and promising to call if he sees them being confronted by the Volturi. Alice is torn between going with him and staying and terrified something might happen to the family without her knowing if she leaves (and same to Jasper if he leaves and she doesn't follow).

[edenesth]

Undying Bonds (Part 5)

Pairing: Hongjoong x fem!reader, Seonghwa x fem!reader

AU: zombie apocalypse au

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: What could be worse than being separated from the love of your life in a zombie apocalypse? Hongjoong was forced to leave you behind with his friend, Seonghwa, as he ventures out alone to search for the rest of his missing group members. Will Hongjoong be successful in his solo mission to find his members? Will he be able to return to you unscathed? And what happens when you're stuck with his caring best friend, who is hopelessly in love with you, for too long?

Part 4 | Masterlist | Part 6

"You miss her, don't you?"

Hongjoong snapped out of his trance at Soyeon's voice, smiling briefly at her before nodding slightly, "I do. In fact, I don't think there has ever been a single moment where I don't miss her," The female stared at him in awe, "Huh, I guess you must really love her. Can't imagine how difficult it must have been for you to leave her behind."

Hongjoong swallowed the lump forming in his throat as the last memory of you once again flashed through his mind, "God, you have no idea. She was crying so much too, walking away from her was the hardest thing I had to do."

The heaviness in his tone rendered Soyeon speechless, especially since she has never seen a man be this affected and cared so much for a woman he loved. After all, her experiences with men both pre and post-apocalypse have only ever taught her that they absolutely cannot be trusted. Besides that, she personally could not relate to how he was feeling as she has never once been in love and probably never will at this point.

But one thing was for sure, she definitely felt immense respect for the faithfulness that Hongjoong displayed.

After much contemplation, Soyeon comes to the conclusion that it would probably be in her group's best interest to have an ally now that she has finally met another group that was trustworthy.

There was silence between them while Hongjoong worked on keeping his emotions in control, he couldn't afford to be a mess right now. Not when he was about to embark on another journey to locate Yunho and San next.

He told himself over and over again that you were safe with Seonghwa and that he should really be more concerned about his missing friends instead. To his utter dismay, he couldn't shake off the ominous feeling he's been getting whenever his thoughts drift to you and Seonghwa.

Please be alright, both of you. Just hold on for a bit more, I'll be back as soon as I can. We'll all be together again, just like old times.

The pair of leaders watched as Yeosang and Wooyoung busily equipped themselves with armour and weapons that Yuqi and Shuhua brought over first thing in the morning while Miyeon prepared some food for them to bring along.

Everyone moved about systematically in completing their tasks quickly to ensure Hongjoong and his boys could be well prepared and begin their journey by the golden hour when the least amount of zombies was predicted to be out and about.

When the boys were all set and ready to go, both groups stood around to bid each other goodbye as a form of courtesy.

Soyeon patted the male leader on the shoulder, "Look Hongjoong, I know we got off on the wrong foot but I understand now that your intentions are pure. So, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you require assistance or even a place to seek refuge, I want you to know that you can always come to me and my girls for that."

Hongjoong's eyes widened slightly in surprise before he reached to accept her outstretched hand in a firm shake.

The simple action solidified their alliance.

"Thank you, Soyeon, for everything. I really appreciate it. We may not be able to provide a safe sanctuary but likewise, you can also come to me and my group if you ever need any help as well."

Yeosang and Wooyoung nodded along to their group leader's words, they were beyond thankful for all the help they have received from Soyeon and her friends thus far despite the initial misunderstanding.

The duo may or may not have wished death upon Soyeon at first but that much was to be expected when they were literally being held captive by her, not knowing if they were even going to have the opportunity to see the light of day again. The terror they were put through from being captured to witnessing their precious Hongjoong hyung held at gunpoint and nearly exchanging his life for their safety, those experiences were not something Yeosang and Wooyoung could simply forget overnight.

But then again, they wouldn't dismiss the fact that Soyeon and her friends have indeed made up for all that trauma by providing them with a place to stay when she could have just let them go the day before without giving a shit about their well-being. What's more, the girls went the extra mile to help prepare them for their trip ahead.

They definitely didn't see that coming but they weren't about to complain.

It was safe to say that Soyeon and her friends have fully redeemed themselves through their efforts. The boys were overall just really glad to have more allies than enemies. Whatever it is, they only hoped that they never have to cross paths with Stray Kids at all.

"All the best, my friend. You must go back to her at all costs."

Hongjoong didn't need anyone to remind him that but he smiled gratefully back at Soyeon regardless.

Meanwhile, you watched in horror as Seonghwa struggled tiredly against the zombie above him. You wondered what had happened out there, you had no doubt he could've taken them all out effortlessly since he has handled twice more than this amount of zombies before and he's never had a problem doing so.

Something else must have caused him to tire out so quickly, you were sure of it.

You didn't realise you were holding your breath until Mingi successfully takes out the zombie, wasting no time in rescuing Seonghwa. Not wanting to stand around helplessly, you rushed to open the door while Mingi helped Seonghwa up before staggering their way back into the store.

Felix and Jeongin huddled around in a corner to make way for the two tall males.

After making sure the door was locked and secured, you immediately made your way towards your friends only to feel your heart drop at the sight of blood staining most of Seonghwa's shirt. It scared you to death when you saw how pale he looked from the loss of blood, "That darn zombie… pushed me against some concrete debris, it cut my side…" He muttered breathlessly, explaining like he just read your mind.

Mingi seemed lost after setting his friend down, not quite knowing how to deal with the situation since he had little to no experience with first aid. He looked to you for help and you blinked rapidly before stepping in to take the lead instead, "Alright uhh… M-Mingi, I'm going to need you to get me the first aid kit from the b-back of the store."

Your hands trembled as you tried to take Seonghwa's jacket off of him as gently as you could, you couldn't hurt him any more than he already was.

Your actions come to a halt when he enclosed a frail hand around your shaky one, "Don't cry, I… I-I'm okay," You bit onto your bottom lip to stifle your sobs, your vision blurring from the tears forming, "N-no, you're not and t-this is all my fault. God, if only I didn't make you go out there… Seonghwa, I-I'm so sorry!"

He chuckled lightly before croaking, "Gee, I don't know if I sh-should be happy, y-you're finally crying over me for a change," Even at the brink of death, he still tries to put your emotions first. You desperately tightened your hold on his shirt, glaring tearfully at him, "Save your energy if you're only going to talk nonsense."

Seonghwa smiled weakly at you before his eyes rolled to the back of his skull, his hands falling limp by his sides.

No words could describe the exact emotions that ran through you at that moment, "Yah, don't you dare leave me! You hear me, Park Seonghwa?!" You were a complete mess by the time Mingi returned with what you asked, his face falling when he realised that his friend had passed out and you were visibly panicking.

He knew he had to do something because you were obviously not in the right state to treat anyone. Not like this.

Placing the kit down beside you, Mingi gripped your shoulders firmly in an attempt to ground you, making you look at him, "Listen to me, noona. Seonghwa hyung needs you, I need you too! So, please pull yourself together. Only you can save him now," You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded quickly, "Right. I'll save him, Mingi."

With a newfound determination, you took a deep breath to calm yourself and made quick work to tend to the large gash on Seonghwa's side with Mingi's assistance. The younger male handed you everything you needed while you thoroughly cleaned the wound before sewing it up neatly and wrapping him up with bandages. You sighed in relief once you were done with the final step.

Who knew your hobby of watching surgery videos for fun could ever come in handy someday. Your boyfriend and his friends used to judge you for your bizarre interest in such gory content but you were just glad you could finally put those skills to good use. What you were certain of is that no one was ever going to make fun of you for that again.

With Mingi's help, the two of you moved your unconscious friend to his sleeping bag before you carefully removed his bloodied shirt to replace it with a clean one instead.

For a moment, you completely forgot about the two new boys as you settled down beside Seonghwa, moving to grasp one of his hands in yours. You stroked your thumbs softly over his skin, this was the hand that had protected and comforted you countless times. The warmth in it brought you so much relief, it meant he was still with you.

I almost lost you today, Hwa. I'm never losing you again.

The tears you tried so hard to hold back earlier finally spilt out freely now as you pressed your forehead against the back of his hand that was still in your hold, "I won't forgive you if you leave me, Park Seonghwa. Don't you even think about it, I won't allow it."

Mingi stood behind you quietly, wiping his own tears away.

Sometimes Mingi wondered if you ever noticed how Seonghwa has already so clearly become a pillar of support for you.

He may be an idiot but even he could see the way Seonghwa looked at you, the way he was constantly there for you, always ensuring your safety and doing his best to protect you whether or not there were any dangers around.

Mingi had his suspicions before from observing the way Seonghwa treated you. It was different compared to how the rest of the boys, including himself, did. Whatever theories he had in his mind were confirmed with the start of the zombie apocalypse, Seonghwa's non-platonic feelings for you became clear as day.

He shuddered to think of the possibility that Hongjoong was also aware of this. That would complicate things and the thought made him uncomfortable, he couldn't afford to lose Hongjoong, Seonghwa or you. You have all become one big family at this point and he can only hope that Seonghwa's feelings for you do not create any problems for the group.

Happy that his friend's condition was finally stable, Mingi excused himself from the back room to check on the two newcomers instead.

Now that you weren't there to baby those kids, Mingi was determined to feel them out. He wasn't going to let them off the hook easily if he finds anything even remotely suspicious at all. Especially after how his friend almost lost his life rescuing them.

Seeing Seonghwa in that state filled Mingi with guilt. After all, he was the one who got the elder into this situation. This was all his fault, he vowed to never go against Seonghwa again. He should've known his hyung's judgement was rarely ever wrong.

There better not be any funny business here or I swear to god, I don't know what I'd do to these boys.

"Hyung, I see it! The high school is just over there!"

Wooyoung yelled enthusiastically from a distance, excitedly waving the other two over.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't eager to see his best friend again, Wooyoung was aware that he himself was also a coward but everyone knew San was the one who needed most protection. He's been worried sick about his friend ever since they got separated but it did at least comfort him to know that the other was with Yunho.

"Shh, not so loud! Do you want us to die before we even find Yunho and Sannie?" Hongjoong hissed, hurriedly closing the distance between them to smack a hand over the younger male's head.

Yeosang snickered when Wooyoung pouted, muttering an apology and rubbing the back of his head as they trudged after the leader who was now taking charge of leading the way now that they have finally arrived at their destination.

It didn't take the three of them too long to locate the high school and to get there at all. There were inevitably some of the undead loitering about here and there along the way but it was nothing they couldn't handle.

Yeosang and Wooyoung got slightly better at holding in their loud shrieks whenever coming face to face with a zombie. Perhaps it was the survival instincts or perhaps it was Hongjoong's deadly glares shooting their way at every little sound they make, whatever it was, the leader was just thankful for the major improvement because it surely made the journey much smoother than he had anticipated.

He supposed he could only expect so much silence from Wooyoung until his excitement kicks in like the child he was. Sighing to himself in guilt for telling the younger off so bluntly, he moved to ruffle said member's hair playfully. His heart warming when Wooyoung beamed adorably at him, further strengthening his will to protect his fellow group members.

Hongjoong instructed his friends to secure their weapons upon reaching the school gates, "Remember, don't let your guard down easily and stay close to each other at all times. We can never be too sure if we're truly safe." The two nodded and did as they were told.

"We're ready, hyung. Let's find them." Yeosang says, he was set on getting all of his friends back. This was the first time that their group was broken apart and he wishes it would also be the last, he wasn't sure he could take being away from them without knowing if they were alright like this again.

Without wasting another minute, the three entered the school grounds vigilantly in search of their friends.

Floor after floor they looked meticulously, eliminating a few zombies they spotted wandering around. The harsh reality hit them when they had to kill these particular zombies because they were literally kids, their torn school uniforms made that clear. Hongjoong ran a hand through his hair to avoid thinking about the fact that these kids didn't even get to see their parents before turning.

The trio made the decision to lay the few bodies respectfully in a classroom instead, they figured the last thing they wanted to see was dead kids lying around. Wooyoung sniffled, shaky hands hovering over the eyes of one of the kids to gently close them before working with Yeosang to pull a large cloth over their bodies.

Rest in peace, kids. I hope you're all in a better place, I'm sure anywhere is better than here right now.

Once that was done, they continued on with the search by moving up to the highest floor. The first few classrooms were disappointingly empty, the boys were beginning to grow antsy with Yunho and San being nowhere in sight. Only a few more classrooms left to search and that would be all, Hongjoong was afraid because he had no idea where else those two could have gone if they weren't here.

The leader reached for the door to the following classroom, pulling it open slowly only to jump back in shock when he was faced with the barrel of a shotgun.

"Stay back if you know what's good for you, I will not hesitate to shoot."

That voice. It was Yunho.

Hongjoong raised his arms to signal they meant no harm and to avoid further provoking his friend, the ends of his lips tugging up slightly, "Will you really shoot us, Yunho-yah?"

They watched in amusement as the tall male's eyes rounded in recognition, "Hyung! Yeosang, Wooyoung! Oh my god, you're here!" He immediately put his weapon aside to hug his friends. Wooyoung, being the impatient person he was, frowned and pulled away quickly to ask where his best friend was.

Yunho visibly froze at the question, "A-about that… Guys, there's something I need to tell you." Hongjoong did not like where this was going one bit.

Dread filled his being as his eyes darted around the classroom that his friend took refuge in before they landed on a hunched figure that was barricaded by some tables and chairs in a corner.

Nothing could have prepared the three of them for the words that were about to leave Yunho's mouth.

"Sannie… H-he's infected."

Thank you for reading! Do let me know your thoughts on this part and also if you'd like to be added to the tag list.

Tag list: @aurasblue @tmtxtf @park-simphwa

All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

[howlingday]

Just more maiden blake

First / Second / Third / Previous

---------------------------------------------

"It sounds like you had an exciting first day." Blake's mom said with her usually cheery.

"And you're sure you didn't, uh... slip up?" Her dad, on the other hands, was his usually worrisome self.

It was to be expected, though. Her first conversation with them after who knows how long she'd left, and only days after leaving the White Fang to top it off, it shouldn't come as a surprise that they'd be feeling a whirlwind of emotions ranging from anxiety to ecstasy. What was surprising was how... not angry they were. She'd abandoned her family for the White Fang and then abandoned them to attend Beacon.

"No, Dad, I'm fine." She sighed. "And Professor Ozpin said he paid extra close attention to me while I was in my initiation."

"Mm, I don't like the way he said that." Her father grumbled through the screen.

"Oh, you know he means well." Her mother said, rubbing his arm to calm him down. Judging by his relaxing face, it must have been working. "And what about your team? What are they like?"

The question made Blake flinch. There was a lot going on with her team, and the least concerning was the fact that she was sharing a team with Weiss Schnee of all people on Remnant. But she gave a sigh and chose to answer the question as best as she could.

"Well, I just learned my partner is just as 'special' as I am."

---------------------------------------------

"And that's when I learned what was happening to me."

"Yeesh, talk about a creepy story." Yang said, stirring her spoon in her cup. "I mean, you have a nightmare, get visited by a creepy, old dude with broken glasses, and you learn that you have a super power that you can't tell anyone all before you learn how to write your own name."

"I was still learning." Blake gave a chuckle. "But yeah, learning all of that while being so young. It's... It's uncomfortable to think that it could happen again to someone else. When did you learn?"

"Oh, you know..." Yang gave blinked a couple of time, then brought a hand to scratch her ear as she answered. "I just kinda walked into it."

An obvious lie. Blake could make a standing argument about the hypocrisy of the scenario. She'd just explained how she had to change her sheets the night she learned of her Maiden powers and how terrifying it was to be told about a double life you'd be forced to live for the rest of your life. Yet Yang refused to explain how she'd come to gain the powers herself.

But that wasn't how you made friends. Especially friends who would be going through the same thing you are.

"Well, if you ever feel the need to walk through it, just know that I'm here for you. And for your sister."

"And Weiss, too, right?"

"Yeah. Her, too." Blake didn't lie. But it was still a distance away from the truth right now.

---------------------------------------------

"And that's how I got over my fear of bees!"

"Wow..." Jaune was in awe of the young lady in the red hood sitting across from him. He'd wished he was half as brave to run through a beehive to grab his sister's hairbrush. Unfortunately, he didn't have the stones, or the immunity, to survive even one bee.

"So, uh, what crazy things have you gone through?" Ruby asked. "You know, besides the whole initiation we went through?"

"I, uh, haven't really been through a whole lot." Jaune sheepishly replied. "My life has never been that exciting. Just me going in and out of hospitals all the time."

"Whoa!" Ruby awed this time. "Like, all the time?"

"Mhm." He nodded. "Sometimes I'd have to stay the night."

"Wow! I can't imagine being in a hospital at night. What's it like?"

"It's... cold... and dark... Not a lot of people walking around." Jaune shut his eyes as he tried to remember something neat to tell her. "One time, I slipped on a bedpan."

"What's a bedpan?"

"It's this metal thing they put under beds for patients who can't go to the bathroom."

"Ew!" Ruby shouted. "That's so gross! Was there anything in it?"

"No, but I was kind sad, though."

"Why were you sad?"

"I thought it was a dog food bowl, so I thought my parents were bringing me a puppy." Ruby and Jaune shared a laugh. A long, good, healthy laugh shared between friends. Jaune was kinda amazed. He couldn't remember the last time he had a long laugh like this one. Not without throwing u- There he goes.

"Jaune? Is everything oka-" She winced at the sound of loud vomiting reaching her ears. "Gross..." Still, she waited where he'd left her. Because that's what good friends do.

---------------------------------------------

"Hey, Cinder! I ain't runnin' a daycare!" Cinder rolled her eyes and looked to Roman. "I'm trying to run a business here!"

"A business that can't spare time for one child?"

"What are you- No!" He shouted back. "I'm trying to keep an eye on the news for any big breaks in a heist I've got planned, and your stupid brat keeps changing the channel!"

"Well, maybe you should go to a different TV." Cinder mused aloud.

"There's only one, and I am not buying another one!"

"Well, Roman, it's your operation, and since you're the one running things here, then I guess you should figure out how to solve it, right?" Before he could get a word in response, she sauntered away, her tail swaying with delight through the air.

"Stupid, no good, demanding..." Roman groused before turning to the kid on his couch. "You! Out!"

"But I'm watching Pumpkin Pete." Mercury replied.

"I don't care! I wanna watch the news!"

"I wanna watch Pumpkin Pete!"

"Well, I don't!" Roman pointed the remote at the TV, turning it off. He then turned popped out the batteries inside and tossed them behind him. "There. No TV for anyone, because I can just read the news on my scro-"

Mercury wasn't listening. Instead, he was watching TV with the remote in his hands. He hummed along to the Pumpkin Pete Pumpkin Patch Pals theme song that played. Weren't his legs supposed to be broken?

[keelywolfe]

That earlier ask actually got me thinking about something non-radioapple related.

I just wanted to say, I love the subtle yet clear way you show Alastor's friendship with Nifty! Alastor revealing in "Take My Breath Away" how he helps Nifty with her panic attacks. Then in "Midnight and Cocoa" when Alastor is helping Nifty with her insomnia. Even in "My Lovely Abomination", when Lucifer comments on what Nifty did with the old utensils. We don't know for sure what Alastor's response is, but it's a safe bet he's standing up for her there.

And I just can't stop thinking about the first time Nifty had a panic attack in front of Alastor. I'm sure by that point Alastor would have experienced plenty of panic attacks of his own, but he probably dealt with them by secluding himself and waiting until they either ran their course or he exhausted himself.

But Alastor having to witness Nifty going through that? Can you imagine how helpless he must have felt not knowing how to help her? No way he would be hunky-dory with her having to wait it out like he does (despite that likely being the way Nifty handled panic attacks before meeting Alastor and isn't THAT just a lovely thought🥲)

And then, because Alastor hates feeling helpless and because Alastor takes care of those he considers 'his' and because Nifty is his daughter he decides "Fuck that!" and works to figure out ways to help her, either through research or through trial and error.

Just, I love these two SO MUCH and I love the way you portray their relationship 🥰😭

I haven't had a chance to write much of Niffty and Alastor together, but I love them. 🥰

I can't help but think when Alastor first took Niffty on, he looked at her as more of a mascot or a pet, or at least that's what he told himself. And of course he can't simply let her dissolve into screaming panic attacks, especially when she might hurt herself, can't let what he owns fall into disrepair, right? Imagine the headlines!

Never mind his own surge of panic when he first sees this, just shove all that waaaay back where you don't have to deal with it, there we are, those emotions are so terribly inconvenient, no? So! The only possible avenue is to learn the best way to get Niffty through these pathetic displays, why, he owns her soul, he's obligated to keep it undamaged, otherwise she won't be useful! It doesn't mean anything that she settles down best when she can rest her head on his lap while he pets her hair, sentimental? Nonsense, he's simply efficient!

And if she likes to sit on his shoulder for a few hours afterward, why, it's useful to have a minion close by in case there is some...uh...emergency cleaning that needs to be done, haha, Niffty is simply the cat's pajamas when it comes to getting bloodstains out and she can polish shoes or bandage wounds in a tick!

Fond of her? Don't be ridiculous, haha!, you and your wacky ideas!

[fumikosushi]

Heed trigger warnings before reading.

No one's died yet, but my mom's condition has worsened. Her cancer has spread to her bones so she can't move around much anymore - they're afraid her bones will snap if she does.

I'm going through a lot of emotions because of guilt among other things and I honestly just don't know how I'm going to react when my mom dies. I lived with her most of my life and yes, there were times she abused me - especially later in life, but for so long my mom was all I had. She was the only one who would ever help or be there for me. Now she's alone and dying while living her last days with one of her abusers and I can't imagine how alone and unloved she must feel.

I know she's the one who put herself in this situation because I couldn't take the abuse anymore and left, but knowing how it feels to be isolated and alone while you're being abused and suffering, it really hurts me. Especially since I'm still going through it myself.

I know once my mom is gone no one's probably even gonna tell me. I never get told about family deaths and am never invited to the services so I just sit here in my anxiety worrying if she's died and just no one is telling me. I know I'll be excluded from everything even though no one else was ever there. Just me. No one ever visited, no one ever helped. Not until she started dying and everyone wanted to start manipulating her to get things from her.

I'm not gonna lie, I feel like out of anyone, I should be the one who should get first pickings to my mom's belongings. None of these other assholes ever acted like family. But I'm sure I'm gonna get fucked over somehow like I always am.

[mixes-archive]

SFW ALPHABET HEADCANONS

A = Affection

(How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Hoo boy, good luck escaping her affection! 100% non-toxic clingy and sticking with you 25/8. Everyone is sick of your sweet talk and physical affection at this point, but she won't even dream of stopping to show her affection!

B = Best friend

(What would they be like as a best friend?)

Two words: considerate cunt. She'll absolutely (playfully) make fun of you, but if you show even just a sign that you're uncomfortable, Sitara will immediately stop and reassure that she's only joking and actually appreciates you a lot.

C = Cuddles

(Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Yes. Yesyesyesyes. If you're living together, the moment that door closes, she's sprawled out over you and you have to drag her to get ready for bed if it's been an especially long day. She isn't a fan of doing it while working, because your just so darn cute, she couldn't focus on doing anything!!

D = Domestic

(Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

An absolute goddess at cooking, but she'll gladly leave the cleanup to you. That being said, she isn't planning on settling down for atleast a few more years. The closest you'll get is living together, but she'll keep working until ctOS is completely out of the picture, or she "loses atleast two limbs to good causes" - Her words.

But I honestly can't see her wanting or having children, if you really want them, she'll encourage you to sign up for activities that involve being a parental figure to children, but wouldn't want to raise them herself. That being said, pets are an absolute must and if you both make it to 70, you'll absolutely be that old farmer couple with way too many animals to be profitable.

E = Ending

(If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I personally think Sitara copes through humor, so she'd probably buy a 5 dollar cake and write "sorry, I'm breaking up with you" in cursive on top. Then she'd cry herself to sleep for many months.

F = Fiance(e)

(How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

She isn't all too worried about commitment, hell, joining Dedsec was the biggest commitment she'd ever made, and that was a split second decision. A ring on a finger or not wouldn't bother her. Either way, she'll go with what you want.

G = Gentle

(How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

You can't get gentler than her. She handles you like a porcelain doll, even when she's dragging you off somewhere to show you something, her touch will be gentle and lack firmness you'd expected from her.

It's pretty much the same with emotions, yes, she likes to tease, but she'll be the biggest support at the drop of a coin, respecting all your preferences and wishes, interacting with you accordingly.

H = Hugs

(Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Frequent and soft!!! She's an arms-around-neck hugger, rubbing the back of your head occasionally. If you're shorter than her, you'll drown in the scent of her perfume that lingers on her scarf.

I = I love you

(How fast do they say the L-word?)

She says it to her friends constantly, so I imagine she'd be pretty open about it with you, if you knew each other beforehand, she'd confess by admitting she loves you more than a friend.

Since then, she hasn't stopped saying it. Ever.

J = Jealousy

(How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Ouh, tough one. I don't think Sitara is a jealous person. It'd take a lot to make her jealous, but if you keep singing praises about that one street artist that, unbeknownst to you at the time, flirted with you, it's safe to say that fists will fly.

K = Kisses

(What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Everywhere, anywhere, all the time. Forehead kisses are her favorite to give, and hand kisses are her favorite to receive. Wrench will absolutely make fun of you every time he sees you kissing, joking about it "being good blackmail".

L = Love language

(How do they show their affection?)

Her love language is everything.

Sitara loves giving you small gifts. Getting you snacks and drinks when you're working in HQ, leaving cute little doodles she made of both of you interacting in some way at your desk when you leave to take a small break, or if you're out shopping, look at something and then put it back when looking at the price, she'll buy it for you. No hesitation. All she'll ask for in return is a kiss.

But she also loves touching you randomly! Brief physical affection is her favorite thing when she or you are working. Quick hugs, chaste kisses, brushing her hand against yours, etc... If you want to be a real pick though, lay your head in either the crock of her neck or her thighs, she will melt!!! (the roles will be reversed the next time though)

M = Morning

(How are mornings spent with them?)

Getting woken up by her absolutly clinging herself to you and groaning about how "it's too early to wake up". Give her a minute and she'll be the one dragging you out of bed, though.

N = Night

(How are nights spent with them?)

You both work really hard, so I can't imagine doing much except just showering together and cuddling until you fall asleep. If it's a free day, you'll probably be out tagging random signs or buildings together.

O = Open

(When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It's gradual, but constant. If you were friends before getting into a relationship, you'll probably know most of it anyway. Sitara isn't scared of telling you per se, she just doesn't really think about it. If you bring it up though, or the opportunity arises, she'll tell you everything you'd want to know.

P = Patience

(How easily angered are they?)

As long as no lives are at stake, she's really laid back. If you take a long time doing or processing some things, she wouldn't bother you about it at all!

Q = Quizzes

(How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Remembers the most random trivia about you, down to the number of different hairstyles you had and in what order. You almost suspect she's writing it down somewhere, but it's all just in le head.

R = Remember

(What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

She vividly remembers when you told her about your favorite part of the city, and when you went out tagging together that night, you were surprised to see a mural of yourself (of course, kept vague enough to not be identified). And WOW, was it gorgeous. You hugged her tightly and thanked her for the next few days every time you thought about it. The absolute joy on your face is forever etched into her mind.

S = Security

(How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

She's the protector lmao. Imagine the "he asked for no pickle" meme and that's about the gist of it. She won't let you climb the really tall buildings >:(

T = Try

(How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

120% of her energy. Flawless planning and a lot of homemade gifts. Sitara would go to endless lengths to put a smile on that cute face of yours.

U = Ugly

(What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Definitely lack of self preservation and people pleasing. She'd tear herself in two if it meant she could simultaneously farm followers and help Josh with a problem in his code when he's close to a meltdown. It can lead to her getting easily frustrated and lashing out at everyone when she's stretched herself too thin, so reassurance is really appreciated <3

V = Vanity

(How concerned are they with their looks?)

She's really careful with how she's perceived, a part of that comes from her upbringing and another from needing to preserve the image of Dedsec. It's not that she thinks she's ugly by any means, but how people think of her is really important to Sitara.

W = Whole

(Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutly. She can barely handle it when you're out on a mission for a day or two, going borderline insane and drawing you and her holding hands or kissing over and over. Her work would probably get sloppy and the team would just decide to leave all the long-term missions to Marcus.

X = Xtra

(A random headcanon for them.)

She got a tattoo of a three eyed cat on her waist while blackout drunk once and never talked about it until you saw and brought it up. She's really embarrassed about it and told you to not tell anyone (you totally did)

Y = Yuck

(What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Aside from the obvious, she hates and I mean absolutely hates sand. Itchy, annoying and everywhere. Don't ever take her to the beach, please.

Z = Zzz

(What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

If she sleeps, she's really clingy for about 20 minutes, then turn around and leaves you alone and cold for the rest of the night. She sleeps much better when it's cold and you have to pay the price for it. /j

[kisskissbanggang]

How did I not know that Prowl 6 was out? Boy do I have a lot of questions and thoughts 🤪

What would lia and jisung have even warned felix and chae about? I don't feel like what they said had anything to do with it the accident that happened. Felix was just hungry. I don't get it? Anyway i feel so bad for the young lovers, just picturing their bodies buried together in that clearing with yuna sobbing over her sister's grave is heartwrenching.

How did Lia survive minho mauling her but chae didn't Felix?

I also don’t get why the pack wants the journal? Like they know how to do it now and i didn't catch anything noteworthy from oc's reading of the journal.

Oc is kind of a bitch lmao like I don't get her motivations at all or half of the things she's mad about. And she cheated on Jay right in the middle of a crisis and then she fucked him while she knew chan could hear and THEN she fucked chan while jay was dying like hoe control yourself a bit 😭 the moment of her getting jealous of how close jisung and lia got was peak clownery I tell you

Idk if it's just me but I feel like she doesn't actually love jisung. I'm not buying her emotions.

The moment she couldn't find jisung and went looking for him then found him heaped up on the ground... i felt so sick 🥲 i imagined all my trauma patients and I just wanted to throw up thinking of jisung like that and idk that moment was just so visceral to me because I could picture it vividly

But anyway yesssss i want hot crazy vampire jisung now. I want him to call oc out on her bullshit finally and not be so passive and meek with her 😩👌

MORT I am ✨ASCENDING✨ seeing you in my inbox AND ABOUT PROWL OH I'M SQUEALING.

So replying in order:

Blaming Lia and Jisung: Both Reader and Yuna aren't being fair about this but Reader has way less ground to stand on. Yuna is bitter because Lia didn't interfere enough to begin with, and it's apparent to her that Jisung must be just as guilty. Reader is flat-out making excuses. Her number one concern is how she's incredibly aware how much she and Chan are needing each other. Surely, that can't be her fault, it obviously must be something she can't control and therefore Jisung and Lia knowing all about this meant that Felix and Chae should've been warned about all the possible consequences /s.

Lia vs Chae's Mauling: I didn't go into this because I never know how much gore/violence the audience can handle (and this chapter had a LOT already 🥴) but in my notes, Felix mainly went for the neck whereas Minho mainly went for the stomach. Felix took chunks out, Minho mostly clawed and bit but didn't quite eviscerate her. They each had very different levels of control with their wolves in the moment.

Why the Pack Wants Both Journals: This was unfortunately left 💀, but the section about the Full Moon was in Jisung's journal, the one Reader was looking through. I'm honestly considering a Final Edition when everything is finished because I leave out a LOT when I get wrapped up in different plot priorities; it's a huge shortcoming of mine as a writer tbh

OC is Kind Of a Bitch: YOU'RE RIGHT AND MORE PEOPLE NEED TO SAY IT. She's my favorite Reader because she's downright horrid at times. She's jealous, she's irrational, she's SO SELFISH and she's in denial about a ton of things. In order of biggest red flags:

🚩people who think Chan sucks

🚩🚩people who think Jisung sucks

🚩🚩🚩people who wholeheartedly support Reader

Reader has a LOT to work through in the final chapter.

Does Reader Even Actually Love Jisung: is a GREAT OBSERVATION. Especially when we bring in my irrelevant headcanon that Jisung has never been in a serious relationship before and Reader's last serious relationship was before she was even turned. They both have warped senses of love and are taking it out on each other but it is absolutely unbalanced.

The Car Accident: Mort, love, I'm so sorry if that was too much! Please let me know if you'd feel better if it got a revision to be more toned down. I had been chasing a goal of communicating the loss and desolation of the moment and may have overdone it. ❤️

I am SO greedy for your thoughts, all of them, and this gave me SUCH warm and happy butterflies to get this and respond ❤️❤️❤️

[transboytwelve]

For the ask thingy, because I’m in an angsty mood: Thasmin, the doctor misjudged coming back from space prison—it’s been 10 years

OOO TEN YEARS THATS SO LONG (in true Me fashion it took me days to do this I’d apologize but it will happen again)

Send me a ship+au and I’ll give you a lil headcanon for it!

ok i went through a few scenarios with this and the one i like the most is: yaz moved on.

which is wild, but considering this is pre potd, pre lotsd eotd, pre flux, pre rotd even! i think she'd have worked past that anger we saw in rotd while she worked on her grief, and i think she'd come out the other side (mostly) unscathed.

ten years is a long time.

ten years in linear time is a long time, especially for a human.

and yaz has had all of that time to Get Over It, and i think she's stubborn enough that she would.

because, like, what choice does she have? she can't disappear again, she can't run off with a time traveling alien and forget her earth problems. What choice does she have other than to grit her teeth and bear it for however long it takes.

and eventually, that "however long it takes" turned into "a while" and that turned into "forever" when she got to the acceptance part of her grieving process.

and then the doctor comes back.

yaz is older now, like, what, 32 ish right? close to? she's got her own flat or maybe a house even, and a few plants, and a cat. and she never went back to police work but now shes doing social work, which she likes a lot better. and she's matured now. she doesn't get those urges anymore, and she doesn't run away as much.

and the doctor comes back. like, shows up on her doorstep, thinking maybe Yaz is visiting a friend or summat. no idea its yaz's house, and knocks on the door or just walks in like she owns the place. and yaz was washing dishes from the night before and looks up when the door opens and fully drops the mug into the sink.

the cut on her hand is kinda deep and she curses and and the doctor immediately rushes over to help cos she didn't mean to scare her! and she doesn't even notice how different yaz looks bc shes so focused on getting her a bandage and helping her wash out the cut

and shes holding yaz's hand and finally looks up and frowns because...she looks different.

the doctor isn't great with faces or remembering them but she'd remember yaz (she made a conscious effort to remember yaz in prison) and this yaz doesn't look like her yaz and for a second shes scared she flew into a different universe or something by accident

and shes like "yaz?"

and yaz feels like she's going to Throw Up, and not because of the cut on her hand.

and then the doctor finally registers everything in the house, like the dishes in the sink and the flowers in the vase on the window and the cat sleeping on the couch and the sweatshirt thrown over one chair and the pictures on the wall showing a life lived (showing YEARS of a life lived)

and shes like ..."oh."

and yaz is like "yeah."

and the doctor is like "how longs it been?"

and yaz pulls her hand away and steps back because holy shit

and shes like "ten years."

flashback to clara and the dream crabs and 13 feels like this MUST be a joke like that, right? like, there's NO way she's that late. no way. absolutely none. her ship has never steered her that far off course.

and shes like "no..."

and yaz is like "yeah, doctor. ten years."

And Yaz wants to be angry. Oh god, she wants to be PISSED. She wants to feel that anger she did in the months and years after, where she’d imagine the doctor showing back up in her flat with a smile and a stupid excuse as if nothing had happened. She wants to feel that emotion again because it’s at least SOMETHING, and not…whatever she’s feeling now

(Which like, it isn’t relief. It’s not anger and it’s not sadness and it’s not happiness either. Not entirely. It’s more like…acceptance?)

((And that’s when she knows she’s truly moved on, because she’s able to bandage her hand and make the doctor a cup of tea and sit on the couch while the doctor goes around her flat and looks at all the evidence of her life over the years, and Yaz doesn’t feel the pulling urge to run away in the tardis like she did in her twenties.))

[masterjedilenawrites]

I could also help with that there is a really cool website that helps generate names that takes place on Star Wars its under pop culture in the S section Link - https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/

That website has helped me a lot lol

I love Crowe he seems like a badass I imagine during his clone training not a lot of people had faith in him until BOOM he proved everyone wrong making old 99 proud and yeah him and Bull would buttheads a lot but if Crowe or anyone clone needed help he would save them then patch them up they would probably expect an I told you so but Bull would just turn in to a mother hen ha

Now I'm gonna have to read the sniper and the medic 💚 you say Joan was picked up? In what way? Was she like travelling through the galaxy? Or did she just hop on due to the way and wanted to help?

but that's honesty so sad I feel for Joan imagine being so close to a group of people only for them to die I she must be going through some horrible survivors guilt YES I WANT THE JEDI TO BE ALIVE IF MAUL AND PALPATINE COULD DO IT SO CAN HE he needs to appear maybe he was in hiding because of the whole kill all jedis but he runs in to Joan and helps her though her survivers guilt while she helps him to stand up to the Empire and fight they could have like a sibling Relatonship it woulf be so cute

The only way Bull could snap out of it is if he was ordered to kill one of his brothers as soon as he is told it would be lile cold water splashed on him he would be thinking a million miles per hour recounting everything he did and feel ashamed he would want to defect but he knows he can't leave his brothers so Bull would try to fight the Empire through the inside

Yes Leia and Luke knows Broco is not their real dad but they love him like one they call him Oco for short eventually Broco helps train Luke Leia and two of my other OCs to be jedis but of course he knows its not enough and sends them to Yoda Broco does die by Vader along with Obi-wan in new hope Broco dies trying to get through to Anakin in the end he chooses to forgive Anakin as Broco knows he is still good

Brocos lightsaber is blue!

Not the same anon 💚

Cool. I'll have to play around with some names and see what feels right!

Bull the mother hen, love that for him 😆 That would make sense, him overcoming the chip's control because it's making him hurt his brothers. Poor guy. Maybe he meets up with Cody and they fight the Empire together?

Oh that's interesting, he dies along with Obi Wan?! 😢 I'll bet that's a pretty emotional moment, for Vader to kill two important parts of his past together, especially as he's forgiven but still takes them down anyway. And that probably also impacts Luke quite a lot, too.

Lol, I'll think about keeping my Jedi alive, we'll see. As much as I love a good happy ending, I also don't mind throwing in some tragedy here and there 🙈 And yeah, Joan basically just told the battalion that she'd be joining them lol. She didn't want to just sit at home when there was a war going on, when she knew she could help. If you do end up reading that story I hope you like it! I think about continuing it all the time lol

[they-callme-ami]

I watched Encanto and Turning Red, and I think they are both crucial in different ways.

(Long Post, Spoilers ahead for both movies)

About 2 months ago, I watched Encanto and today, I watched Turning Red today and the fact I cried more seeing both than I have in any movie I've watched since I was a child...

I am loving this recent trend of movies about generational trauma and especially how prevalent it is in families of color.

Encanto was not only a movie that showed representation of different skintones, cultural habits and Colombian life--it also brought up the topic of generational trauma in a way that kids can understand.

It showed how someone in a large family felt abondoned and alone, like she wasn't good enough and was never going to be good enough. But....even her 'special' and 'perfect' family had their flaws, and each of them felt the burden and pressure of perfectionism on them. It was a shared trauma that they never discussed, that lead back to Abuela. But then, we see what she had gone through. A woman thrusted into a leading position, never given time to grieve, and fear that if she did not do EVERYTHING right, she would be put into that position of loss, grief, and fear all over again. And she unintentionally passed this down.

The lesson was that...no one has to be perfect. And you, just being YOU, is a gift. Just being with your family is a gift. Your family, friends, community--they are there to help and you should not be made to feel less than.

Turning Red had the same theme....but the opposite end of the spectrum. All of this pressure, expectations and fear was placed onto a SINGLE child, and she seemed to thrive because of it....until she didn't. It was about how she was afraid of disappointing someone whom she loved--and all of that love turned into smothering. It suffocated her to the point where something that was seen as a 'curse' was freedom for her! And she realizes her mother went through the same. She thought she wasn't ever good enough for her own mother. Because of her emotions, the curse--she hurt her mother and broke that relationship. And this put so much fear into her, she smothers her daughter with love and attention in an attempt to catch this curse and be prepared, and be better than her mother was....but she wasn't. And it's okay. While she may be traumatized from it, she is healing and finally realizes that her daughter is changing, she is different and is going to make mistakes--and it is okay. She loves her. They love each other, even when things change and cannot be controlled.

I think Turning Red resonated more with me because that's how my relationship with my mom was at that age. She was always my best friend, I wanted to always please her and get her approval, and she doted over me my whole life when she could (I have a little brother, but my father seemed to take the lead for him).

But when I turned 13, that all changed. We started to drift apart, I began to make and have close relationships with people my age, we would fight and I started to slip in my grades and I was just changing. I was realizing I was bisexual, I cut my hair and went natural, I downloaded apps without her permission (that was a damn mistake though, HAH)

But I think I also relate to Encanto, but closer to Isabela or Luisa. It was on ME to keep it together, be the good big sister for my brother, be the perfect student and the 'easy child' for my parents...I can't imagine how my brother must have felt, and I haven't always been the kindest to him.

I craved attention from my father as a child, but it was given to my brother because he was the 'bad child' and had medical issues that meant he was different and was singled out (medications, different food than us, occasionally being seen as a 'burden')

But just like both movies....I see where it comes from, in both my parents. My granny was a single mother who watched my dad, he was born while she was still a college student and I'm sure the pressure was heavy on her. She became successful, married multiple times...but only supported my fad dad financially. She was so focused on providing for him, he never got the emotional intelligence he needed. He didn't have another parent to teach him and watch him, and he ended up making bad choices...so now he's traumatized from all those bad choices he's made, and puts pressure on us to never be financially struggling.

My mother was the younger sibling to a damn near perfect brother. All A's, baseball player, good kid. And she was the problem child my grandmother had a hard time raising. But she was my grandpa's favorite, and I know my uncle felt it, even after he passed. She grew out of it, sure, but I don't think my grandmother and her were ever as close. My grandfather passed and she and my uncle had to supoort her through it, but she never showed it. When my uncle passed, it seemed to get worse for my mother. She's always tried to give us equal attention, but she still seems to favor me...maybe to compensate for her own lack of attention from her mother.

And I'm not even old enough or know enough to speak on my own grandparents and their trauma before that, both sides being young adults at the height of the civil rights movement.

Both of these movies made me feel seen in different ways. I felt like finally, FINALLY, I know other people have felt what i feel, experienced these complicated emotions, knowing that your parents have been traumatized in one way but it doesn't excuse it, and they're hurting still..

These two movies are so, so important and I love them with all my heart. I highly reccomend watching them, and if you feel safe enough to, watch it with your family.

[saranghanuuu]

The evolution of San's love confession y'all and Deok Im's face every time♥︎

The Red Sleeve - an actual bittersweet historical romance retold as a novel and a drama.

I've a lot to say about this drama, really. However, after I watched the last two episodes, my mind went blank as much as how my heart felt empty. I'm still barely coping up but trying my best to, 'coz as a viewer, we have to move on and don't let the show hole consume us.

Before The Red Sleeve came, I was in a major Kdrama slump — none of the ongoing Kdramas sparked my interest. Nothing grew on me, even the highly-rated and highly-recommended Kdramas. My case is so bad that I turned to Cdramas for most of my 2021. But all thanks to my ultimate bias Wheein (MAMAMOO) for she introduced me to this gem. She sang one of the earlier OSTs of this drama and posted on her IG stories that she's watching it. I'm a bit curious, yet my heart was actually into supporting the drama she lent her voice to. I then decided to watch because of that very (shallow) reason. Best decision, because 7 episodes after, I fell. It was a hard fall.

Story - 10/10

Yes, I'm giving the story a perfect 10. Why? Because this went down in actual history. It's not like we can change it, or it'll be a good idea to majorly distort it. We just watch how the drama will retell that story to us. Of course, it was fictionalized for the drama's sake to cater to the audiences, but what are the chances for those things to happen in real life - being loved by a King to the point of waiting for your acceptance for 15 years even after rejecting him a couple of times, especially during that time? I cannot even imagine. I even read somewhere that rejecting the King at that time is a grave sin punishable by death. So knowing that the gist of the story actually happened, the journey of watching this drama became even more special to me. I got invested to the point of delving into the Korean historical accounts about King Jeongjo and Royal Noble Consort Seong Uibin. I watched the drama sympathizing on how the two must have felt in the past. I read the heartbreaking epitaph King Jeongjo wrote for Uibin while pondering what if she accepted him sooner. Becoming aware that all these possibly transpired in reality prepared my heart to accept whichever way the drama will end. But thankfully, the production team must've understood our woes and consoled us with a fairly sweet ending.

Acting/Cast - 10/10

Don't even get me started with this one. The word excellent for me is an understatement. All of the casts brilliantly gave life to their characters as if they were their own. But for the sake of writing, I would like to specially mention our main leads Lee Junho and Lee Seyoung here. Junho has always been incredible to me ever since I watched him in Good Manager. I thought back then that it's a good decision that he transitioned into acting. That stays true up to this day. Had he never took this path, we won't be able to see how good of an actor he is. As for Lee Seyoung, honestly, this is the first time I properly watched a drama of hers. I remembered watching Hit The Top before, but dropped it halfway through 'coz I'm not feeling it. I never knew she's this kind of an actress. She's phenomenal! How come she gives the right emotion to every scene? She cries real tears at the perfect timing. Her eyes speak so much that you can easily discern what's on her character's mind, even without uttering a single word. I suddenly remembered Kim Go Eun. Her eye expressions are very good too. I guess this is the kind of acting prowess you'll earn after 20+ years of experience.

I know both Junho and Seyoung were not originally casted for their roles, and I apologize for saying this - I can't think of another San and Deok Im if not them. Their chemistry is just so awesome both on and off cam. They got me tensed while watching the actual drama scenes, but made me giggle a lot from watching their BTS (and I always make sure to watch their BTS because they are truly a comedic duo). Their acting is in sync once the camera rolls despite being playful behind the scenes. Their duality! No doubt, they deserved the Best Couple and Top Excellence awards they received from the 2021 MBC Drama Awards. Both of them deserve a Daesang too.

Music - 10/10

Why won't it be 10; this is what got me into this drama in the first place haha! But aside from the OST sang by Wheein, I also especially love Starlight Heart by BEN. The melody of that song makes my heart flutter everytime I listen to it. The other soundtracks are remarkable too and blended well with the scenes in the drama. They'll make you feel wrecked or in love as how you're supposed to be.

Rewatch value - 10/10

I gave this a 10 because I was drawn to rewatch the drama multiple times after I finished the last episode. But my rewatch is just limited to the funny and romantic ones. I choose to instill their happy moments in my memory instead of destroying myself over and over again from the angsty scenes you know ㅋㅋㅋ

Overall rating - 10/10

I rarely rate a drama a 10, but what can I do? This is a perfect drama for me. I am aware that this feeling of longingness and attachment towards this drama will soon fade away. It will only take another good drama for me to let this go. Sooner or later, I'll get over the fact that this drama was once my favorite. But one thing's for sure - this drama is the kind I would highly suggest to my friends should they ask me for a sageuk recommendation. This drama will remain special in my heart. This drama will be remembered by me for a long time.

And oh by the way, I'm officially sending off this drama through this 2 FMVs I've made. Care to watch? 😊

[licncourt]

I just had the random thought that, iirc, the funny piano scene in the movie is just in the movie? In the book I think it's mentioned that they had servants (whom I believe Claudia killed) but it kinda makes sense that they wouldn't want to be in continuous close contact with a lot of people. So Louis and Lestat must have pretty much handled Claudia's education singlehandedly? That's so cute to me, Louis teaching her to read, Lestat teaching her music (I am convinced he would have taught her the violin - also baby violins are so tiny and adorable, imagine Claudia with one!) Plus, on a more serious note, the subject of education and the power that comes with knowledge (Louis being more learned and refined than Lestat, Lestat withholding vampire lore) is such a fraught topic that I could see Claudia's education either being really tendentious or a bonding opportunity for them? I think Lestat is, in a way, sort of reluctantly eager to prove himself to Louis, I think that showing off his musical/theatrical knowledge might be quite gratifying for him, and maybe make Louis see him in another light? Also just so cute to think about them when they really were a happy little family

(I can't remember right now if the book mentioned Claudia having tutors, so I could be completely wrong, but all the same, this was fun to think about, and I would live to hear your thoughts, all your headcanons about them as a family are soo good)

Okay, I had to go check, but I don't think the book mentions her having tutors and I definitely don't remember the piano scene (although I like to imagine it happened because it's such a great moment).

I can't decide if I think Lestat would've taught her the violin. Maybe, but he was pretty lost in emotional repression sauce during the Interview era, so I think it's also very possible that the violin was forbidden. I'm sure he would give some bullshit excuse about finding the sound grating and insist she learn the piano instead

Louis would definitely be her primary teacher (again, Lestat for sure had some blustering excuse for his lack of involvement that Louis saw through instantly). I'm assuming Louis would've received a classical education and passed his knowledge in mathematics, history, grammar/language, science, Latin, and theology along to Claudia. Considering his interactions with Babette, maybe he would've made sure she was well-versed in "masculine" subjects like economics/finance, rhetoric, and business, all of which she excelled in

The theology was probably a point of contention between Louis and Lestat. I'm sure Louis would want to raise his daughter Roman Catholic while Lestat would likely want her kept away from morbid religious nonsense. I imagine they reach some sort of compromise and attend church for holy days, plus history/literature-based theology lessons

Lestat being unable to teach her the more technical subjects would probably come up during arguments when Louis was feeling especially uncharitable. An obvious lack of formal education would be a perfect weak spot in Lestat's armor and Louis would have known he was sensitive about it from their time with the Marquis

As for Lestat's contributions, I imagine he took care of her music education, but also acted as something of a hands-on teacher. He couldn't give her Latin lessons, but he could perform bits of Shakespeare, teach her French court dances, show her the constellations on the roof, or even do little science experiments with her (Lestat loves science, I don't take criticism). If they had the opportunity, maybe even something like horseback riding or fencing

Claudia probably loved Lestat's lessons when she was young, but as she got older, I think she would've started developing an interest in philosophy and rhetoric. She's pretty powerless in a lot of ways, but being persuasive, well-spoken, and logical would be extremely beneficial to her

When things are good between them all, things like opera/ballet/theater/the symphony would definitely bring them all together. Louis could coordinate his English lessons with Lestat's schedule for her theater education, or maybe they could attend a show based on a book Louis read with Claudia that also contains a piece of music Lestat taught her on the piano/a monologue they studied

I 100% think Lestat would find excuses to sit in on Claudia's lessons, partly to learn for himself and partly because he wants to be a part of their day (Louis is aware of both of these things and very kindly does not mention it). And I'm sure Louis finds Lestat's rather exuberant teaching method quite charming and only fake protests when they convince him to say lines or dance with them

Neither of them knew how to do Woman Things, so Claudia had to take it upon herself to learn things like needlework and painting. Mostly she just stuck the needles into the furniture for Lestat to sit on though

[harmonizingsunsets]

Polin Week Day 4: Prompt - Jealousy

Touching A Live Wire

After dragging Colin by the arm through her and Eloise's flat with one hand, Penelope slams the door behind them with the other.

She folds her arms across her chest and looks him in the eye for the first time since they left her work party early. He'd looked apologetic, following her wordlessly to the car and remaining silent during the entire drive to the flat.  

"You have five seconds to apologize."

Colin sighs, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Penelope, this is a misunderstanding."

"Five," she starts counting.

"I didn't mean to say it that loud!"

Penelope's lips curl further in anger. "Four."

"Wait, let me explain why I—."

"Three," she interrupts, tapping her foot loudly on the floor.

Colin tilts his head at her. "Pen, this is ridiculous."

"Two."

"Can't we just sit down and—." Pen opens her mouth, her lips forming the word one, but Colin looks alarmed and puts his hands out to stop her. "Fine, you're right. I'm sorry!"

Penelope breathes in relief. Despite the show she just put on, she didn't know what she would've done if she'd reached one. With Penelope's grade three students, she'd send them to the principal's office or write their names in the infraction book. But, Penelope didn't think those forms of punishment would've worked with Colin.

She moves her hands to her hips, pinning her gaze on him. "Sorry about what?"

"I'm sorry that I got a bit carried away."

"A bit carried away?" Penelope scoffs, causing him to flinch in guilt. "Colin, you yelled at my co-worker, "Penelope is too good for you," and then proceeded to knock over the punch bowl!"

"In my defense, whoever placed it there did a poor job. It was teetering on the edge of the table."

Penelope's jaw clenches. "I placed it on the table."

Colin's eyes go wide, adorably so, which she could appreciate more if she weren't so angry at him.

Well, she still does appreciate it a little. She's human, after all.

"Oh, then it was a lovely job!" Colin exclaims, trying to cover himself. "Perfect placement, angels in heaven would want you to be on punchbowl duty at every party."

"You think angels have parties?"

"No, of course not, but they host them. Can you imagine parties in heaven? Unlimited food, great entertainment, and you could dance with Pablo Picasso and Prince at the same time."

"You really think Picasso and Prince would run in the same social circles in—hey, don't distract me," she interrupts herself, pointing accusingly at him while biting back a grin. "I'm mad at you."

Colin takes a step forward, beginning to smirk. "Then why are you smiling?"

"It's an annoying side effect of being around you," Penelope explains grumpily. "But, I'm still angry."

Colin deflates. "I know. You  should be angry at me." He begins to pace, making Penelope worry that he's going to slip as she and Eloise just polished the floor yesterday. "I was way out of line. I shouldn't have yelled at your co-worker. It was disrespectful."

Penelope exhales, her anger beginning to fade, but confusion still causing her head to ache.

"I don't understand. Why did you yell that at him? And why did you spend the whole evening scowling at him and steering me away from him the entire time?"

Colin doesn't respond, looking down at his shoes. His behavior worries her, as Colin's never been one to avoid telling her something. His eyes are always open, full of honesty and understanding. But lately, they've been clouded.

The clouds are unsettling. Penelope misses the sun's warmth, and she can't take the chill anymore, especially because she doesn't know what prompted the weather change.

"You've been so unlike you the past few weeks," Penelope quickly says before she loses her nerve. "You've been off ever since he started working with me at the beginning of this month."

Colin shifts his feet. "No, I haven't."

"Yes, you have! Whenever I bring him up, you completely shut me out, you've avoided my attempts for you to meet him, and I caught you rolling your eyes when I was talking to him on the phone," she lists, furrowing her eyebrows. "What do you have against him?"

"Nothing."

"Colin, tell me."

He shrugs but with tense shoulders. "There's nothing to tell."

Penelope presses on, taking a step closer. "Obviously, you have something against him."

"No, I don't," he says, taking a step back.

She steps forward, feeling a rook on a chessboard that's slowly advancing on his pawn as he moves it backward one square at a time.

"Be honest."

"I am."

"No, you're not. I know you well enough to know when you're lying."

"Penelope…"

"Please, Colin, just tell me what's really got you so—."

"He's into you!" Colin blurts out.

Penelope freezes, her rook stopping one square before her victory.

Colin grimaces at himself, taking a deep breath as if his words knocked the wind out of him.

"What?"

"He's into you," Colin repeats, his voice quieter than before. "I don't like the way he looks at you. He obviously wants something more than friendship."

Penelope knows she shouldn't, but she laughs. "That's absurd."

Colin's expression drops even further, beginning to frown. "Why is that absurd? "

"Because it's me. Why would he be interested in me?"

"Why wouldn't he be?"

Penelope narrows her eyes at him. "Colin, don't play dumb."

"I'm not. You're the one that's playing dumb."

"Excuse me?"

"Pen, you're intelligent, beautiful, funny, and kind," Colin describes, slowly raising his hands and placing them on her arms. There's something in his eyes as he speaks so vehemently, a gleam that sends a thrill through her body. "You're the perfect package. Who wouldn't want you?"

Something in his words causes her to pause, reassessing the entire evening. Once she does, seeing a supercut of Colin's reactions towards her co-worker and his behavior around the two of them, her mind reaches one conclusion—a conclusion which quickens her heartbeat.

However, it also inspires a newfound sense of motivation to stop tiptoeing at the edge of the cliff she's been on for years.

But, she has to make sure Colin is truly standing on the same cliff as her before jumping.

Penelope swallows nervously. "Alright, let's say you're right and that I'm the perfect package—."

"You are."

"Ok, let's say that I am," Penelope agrees, taking a deep breath before crafting her following words. "So, why shouldn't he like me?"

"It's not that he shouldn't like you because, of course, he should. But—he shouldn't," Colin blabbers, getting a cute crinkle in between his brows as he struggles to explain himself adequately, which only fuels her wonderful but terrifying theory. "Because… he's—that guy is not right for you. "

Penelope inches closer, so her chest brushes against his body. He intakes a sharp breath, and she has to restrain herself from doing the same thing, knowing the gravity of this moment—of getting this exactly right.

"But I'm the perfect package, so I'm perfect for him, right?"

"No—I mean, yes, he'd be lucky to have you. But that doesn't mean you should be with him." His eyes flicker to her chest, and back up at her eyes, and back to his shoes, his face becoming more red with each passing second. "He—he has a horrible laugh, he likes Star Trek over Star Wars, and he took way more than his share of the cheese platter—."

"Those reasons are inconsequential. You know they are."

Colin opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. So, Penelope raises one of her hands, moving up his arm and to his neck.

The path of Penelope's fingertips creates a live wire, causing his skin to brim with electricity everywhere she touches.  But, it doesn't shock her. Instead, she's part of the electrical current and feels a hum of energy in her palm that his touch provides.

"So, there must be another reason you don't want me to be with him," Penelope continues, forcing her voice not to shake. "Right?"

"No," he shakes his head after a few beats.

She bites her lip, trying to hold on to hope. "Really, there's not one reason?"

"Um…no?"

Penelope sighs, dropping her hands from his neck, feeling stupid. How foolish was she to think ahead of herself like this? Clearly, Colin's answer was not what she predicted. Just like always, she got carried away in romantic notions, as she always seemed to, when Colin’s around.

"Ok," she says, clearing her throat. Colin frowns at the sudden distance, but Penelope can't see his expression as she's closing her eyes to try and banish the inclination to cry. "I know, it's been a long day, so let's forget it. I think I should—."

Penelope doesn't get to answer. Because, suddenly, Colin swoops forward, his hands cupping her cheeks and his lips crashing onto hers.

If touching his skin created a live wire, kissing Colin makes a high electricity voltage, one strong enough to power an entire city.

Colin's lips brush against her softly, but there's a desperate edge to it, one akin to the desperation she feels as she clutches the collar of his jacket and pulls him closer.

When Colin breaks apart for a breath, he rests his forehead on hers.

"I was jealous," he whispers.

Penelope pulls her head back a little so that she can meet his eyes. "What?"

"That's why I didn't want you to be with him, because I want you to be with me," Colin confesses, pursing his lips. "I know that's immature. I'm sorry. You should be with whoever you want to be with, even if it's not me. It's my fault that I was too much of a coward until—Ow!" He abruptly yelps, looking down at his arm, which Penelope just pinched. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Penelope ducks her head, the corners of her lips twitching into a smile. "I was just checking to make sure you weren't an illusion."

Colin smiles in the incandescent way that made Penelope fall in love with him in the first place. He tips her chin up, forcing her to meet his bright eyes filled with an emotion that wraps around her heart and squeezes it.

"I'm real, I'm very much real," Colin assures, his thumb skimming her cheek. "I'll prove it to you."

He closes the distance between them again. But, Penelope is the one to deepen the kiss. She feels a wave of heat run through her at Colin's moan. Also, she experiences a surge of confidence, proud that she was the one to elicit such a glorious sound.

Penelope wraps her arms around her neck, finding it slightly annoying that he's so tall, as she has to lean up on her toes to kiss him. Colin must sense her struggle, quickly amending the issue by swiftly raising her into the air.

But, as her legs sweep up as she's taken into his arms, she accidentally kicks the bowl that holds her and Eloise's apartment keys off of the table.

It crashes loudly onto the floor, the ceramic breaking into multiple tiny pieces.

Colin and Penelope's lips break from each other's, looking down at the mess near her feet. Then, for a moment, neither of them say anything, only staring at the floor.

"Well…at least there was no punch in there this time," Colin says, sidestepping the broken pieces of the bowl.

Penelope laughs, smiling against his lips as she pulls him in for another kiss.

While she has a lot of explaining to do about the dramatic scene the two of them caused when she shows up at work tomorrow and will have to answer Eloise about the broken bowl, she can't find it in herself to care.

When he opens his eyes briefly, looking at her and moving a strand of hair behind her ear, she no longer sees clouds. Instead, she only sees the sun, and she wants to bask in its glow forever.

Penelope knows how idealistic that thought is, but as Colin begins kissing down her neck after moving them to the couch, she thinks it's quite a reasonable notion.

[katsukikitten]

WARNING 18+ BIRB NOT BIRB SMUT! Band AU, harem collab. In which reader meets her favorite faceless singer. Little over 3k

Sweat trickles down your spine as your favorite song is blasted from the large speakers. Fog from the stage lingers just above your head as you feel as if you were in a dream. The setting is surreal especially since you actually managed to WIN those rare radio tickets to see a band in concert. And not just any band, your favorite fucking bad.  

TOKYO MOB

The band consisted of four people, Bakugou Katsuki, the drummer who was angrier than any person you'd ever seen wearing nothing but skinny black jeans and a perpetual frown. Jiro, so cool and sleek in anything she wore as she tore up her guitar as side vocals. Then there was Denki, funny, cute even, on the bass with his electric blonde hair and killer smile. Lastly there was "Dark Shadow", the lead vocalist. 

No one knew his real name or what he looked like, he chose to wear a headpiece in the shape of a raven or crow. You loved him, even without knowing his face. 

He was so fit, strong arms and deadly abs that could be seen from beneath his cut off band tee crop top, much like you were wearing now. His voice was soothing as a bird's song, whether he was screaming or singing. The sound so uniquely beautiful it brought tears to your eyes the first time you heard it. And standing here with nothing but a small barricade and stage separating the two of you was a dream made in heaven. 

He sings your favorite song, looking out into the crowd, body drenched in sweat from the high energy show as he jumps to the beat. He pauses to hit a long note and while the guitar riffs he looks into the VIP section. You swear you feel as if he is looking dead at you. The next few lyrics are packed full with emotion as he gets onto his knee, one hand holding the microphone while the other gently floats towards outstretched hands. 

"I've been looking for youuuu, I just need to find youuuuu and when I do, when I do I'll dress you in my band teee and make youuuu~"

But it's yours that his fingers brush, intertwining his fingers with yours as tears prick your eyes. 

"Mine. Forever miiinee~" 

The world stops, his silky voice smoothing over your skin before it erupts in goose flesh, he holds on to your hand as he sings the chorus again. The screaming people around you fade away as you hear nothing but his sultry voice. 

As if he were serenading you in the kitchen of your home. 

"I've been looking for youuuu, I just need to find youuuuu and when I do, when I do I'll dress you in my band teee and make youuuu~"

"Mine. Forever miiinee~"

He squeezes your hand as he finishes the note, releasing your hand slowly before starting to stand. The music begins to fade as he huffs, trying to catch his breath before looking over the band. He sees that ever might need just a second more to take in some water so he brings the mic close to his face as he shouts. 

"Are we having a good time tonight?!" 

The crowd erupts into a scream, so loud you can barely hear the one tearing up your throat. 

"I can't fucking hear you, extras!" Bakugou shouts into his own mic. The sold out stadium shakes rivaling the bass of the sound system as they all play off random notes and beats. When the deafening roar becomes a hushed, dull roar Bakugou sets the beat, Jiro and Denki join in as their most popular song begins to bump through the speakers. The song sets a heavy, hype beat that can get anyone to bang their head to. You start along with them, booze lighting up your system and causing you to ignore the charged air around you  

Some of the bystanders, some of the women especially were jealous of the fact that you were holding hands with none other than the DARK SHADOW. 

"Stupid bitch." They murmur amongst themselves, "Let's really fuck her up." 

One says before shoving her unsuspecting and overly excitable boyfriend into another guy while shouting. 

"MOSH PIT!" The crowd follows suit, putting you in the thick of it. Normally you could handle a little mosh, staying on the fringes to avoid too much damage but being in the center was beginning to spell trouble. The world spun as body after body began to slam into you, turning you this way and that before someone begins to take advantage of the situation. A sleazy guy you had hoped to avoid "falls" into you, rough palms grabbing a handful of your ass, beneath your skirt. A yelp lost to the crowd leaves your lips, tears burning in your eyes as this man set out to ruin what was possibly the highlight of your life. 

He was going to ruin it with his disgusting cigarette breath, lips sloppily kissing at your throat as he moved the two of you closer to the barricade. His fingers dig into your ass, spreading your cheeks as he shouts into your ear. 

"These fishnets for me slut?" He slurs, chuckling as he presses your back into the cool biting metal, "Love the crop top baby, do you got a bra on underneath?" 

A sob threatens to rack through your body as your elated high quickly turns into stomach churning nausea. Desperately you look up to the stage, anything to distract you from the fingers that try to venture between your thighs, while the other rips at your favorite top.

Tokoyami jumps, stopping to adjust his feet for steady ground to do the screaming part of the song, he glances down into the crowd, silently looking for you. The woman who made his heart flutter for the first time in years and when he sees your face tilted up towards him with fear and pain twisting your features he loses his cool. 

"Fucking stop!" He shouts, the lyrics gone for now as the music abruptly stops, the man holding you startles as the light follows Dark Shadow's accusing finger. He is illuminated by the stage light as bystanders rip him from you, he punches one guy and makes a run for it. 

 "Aye yo security. Get this asshole!" Dark Shadow shouts, leaning down for your now outstretched arms. Pulling you on stage with ease as his fingers flutter over your shoulders and sides for injuries.

"You okay my sparrow?" He coos softly and you nod, and he guides you towards the back of the stage, leaving the two front members to appease the excited crowd. He presses a cold water bottle to your hand before pulling up a chair a few feet from the drum kit. 

"Stay by Bakugou okay? He'll take care of you." He wipes some sweat from your face before squeezing the nape of your neck. Bakugou glares your way with mixed emotions before doing his show starting beat to get the crowd jumping. 

"Anyone else wanna act like a fucking douche?" Denki asks, walking up and down the front of the stage waiting for Tokoyami to return to the forefront. 

"NOOOOO!" The crowd shouts, Denki offers a cheeky smile before adding. 

"That's my good fans!" He blows a kiss to the crowd and the screams fly up an octave. 

"Alright let's start this shit from the top!" Jiro shouts, letting out some hypnotic notes before looking towards Tokoyami. 

"Actually, let's give them a sample of the new album. Let's give them a tease. Do you wanna be teased?" He asks the crowd aiming the mic towards them as if he needed to. 

"SHOW US! TEASE US!" The crowd chants before Tokoyami looks towards his band members. 

"I dunno do they deserve it?" Bakugou prodes and the audience lets out a dejected whine. 

"Promise to behave?" Jiro teases and the crowd collectively screams out desperately "YES!"

"Well keep your hands to yourself and listen up cause you're only gonna hear it this once til it drops!" Tokoyami shouts before Jiro starts playing that hypnotic sound, shortly after Denki joins in. Bakugou twisting his drumstick as he waits for his cue impatiently. Dark Shadow takes in a deep breath before singing the haunting first lines of their new song. 

"What do you do, when it's stalking after yoouuu? What do you say when it's just a breath awaaay~? Coming closer and you can't seem to get awaaaaay?" 

"Always watching, always loooomming-" 

Bakugou slams his sticks down hard onto the kit, foot tapping the bass drum at an alarming speed as everything seems to be hitting a climax. 

"WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN ITS COMING FROM INSIDE OF YOU? WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN IT SHARES YOUR NAAAAME? 

WHEN YOU CAN'T HIDE THE DEMON THAT'S LURKING INSIDE!" 

The last line he screams and the crowd is overcome with emotion. The height of the music and the new song that the band pours their hearts into, sends the crowd into a frenzy. Sweat dripping from everyone as their black shirts dampen around their collars. 

The song the crowd wanted to last forever comes to an end and you find yourself standing to scream, tears in your eyes.

"That was amazing!" Curling your fingers into a fist, Dark Shadow turns back to see you, out of the millions of people there tonight, in that moment he could only hear you.  

"Well I think we gave them a good show huh?" Denki asks into the mic, Bakugou drums a heavy beat as he shouts. 

"FUCK YEA WE DID!" 

"HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!!" The band members shout in unison before waving and slowly backing off stage. Tokoyami rushes towards you, hand slipping around your natural waist as he guides you into the darkened stage towards his dressing room. Your heart is racing in your ears as the silence becomes deafening. Being this close to Dark Shadow you couldn't help but notice the little cushion that keeps his helmet from damaging his throat and the intoxicating smell that rolls off of him like a cool breeze. He smells like cedar and pine at twilight while the wind brings with it the threat of snow. 

You shiver despite the warmth of his touch. Swallowing the lump in your throat you force your tongue to cooperate as he steps in front of his door politely opening it for you. His small silver chains clink from the motion.

"You must be tired, are you sure you want...company?" If you could see his face you imagined he'd be smiling. Pressing his hand at the small of your back to urge you inside. 

"I'm sure." He walks in, waiting for you to follow before he slumps onto a worn leather arm chair. Your platform converse move on their own as you cross the threshold of the room, closing the door behind you. 

"Lock it, would you sparrow?" All you can do is nod as you turn the lock until you hear a soft click. He gestures for you to sit on the couch beside him before his broad hands go towards his helmet. 

The blood rushes from your face as a moment of honor and horror wage war in your gut, pulling your heart down towards your feet. 

"Wait!" You shout, startling both of you and you feel heat rise into your cheeks and throat, "I don't want you to feel obligated to take it off. We can just...talk." 

Nervously you fidget with the hem of your skirt, thinking he was going to kick you out for being so lame. 

Boring. 

He stands and you flinch before he sits beside you on the love seat. If you could see his eyes you wondered if they were sparkling. His winter woods smell tickles your nose and you smile. 

"I'd love to just talk. But first." He must notice your ripped shirt as he stands again. Rummaging through his suitcase to find the first edition band tee ever made for TOKYO MOB.

"I couldn't!" You half shout and then squeak, "I shouldn't" 

"I insist." He says softly placing it on your lap before giving you his toned back. The cropped tee he wears shows off the dimples in his lower back that has you thinking of what it would look like while those hips piston into you. Quickly you toss your ripped shirt aside and slip his over your head, relishing the present smell, heart stirring.

"It's safe." You say softly and he turns around taking the seat beside you again. 

After a small awkward silence the two of you begin to talk, the conversation coming easy as you gushed over his voice and where you went to college when he asked. Him wanting to know more about your life and the night ended up being about you instead of him for once and it was nice. 

Nice to not have someone prying or clawing at his neck to find out just who he was and what he looked like, suddenly heat rushes to his pants. His hand comes to rest on your knee just below the hem of your skirt, ringed fingers sliding beneath the black fabric. You swallow, looking into the face of the bird mask and softly speak. 

"How- how would we kiss?" It feels stupid, embarrassing that you would even think that. He kills the light by the love seat flooding the room in total darkness before he takes off his helmet with a clatter. 

"Like this." His lips are by your ear now sending ecstacy through your body in the form of a spine tingling shudder. He kisses at your lobe working his way down your throat and then up to your jaw, avoiding your lips as he tastes every inch of you he can. His damp hair tickles your nose as he moves you to him, hovering over you as he kisses the plane of your stomach beneath his lifted shirt. 

"You look damn good in my shirt baby." He trails his tongue up your sternum causing you to moan, he smirks against the bone before sucking at the supple skin of your breast. Choosing them for his canvas to paint in blacks and blues that you would soon come to wish would last a life time. His free hand twists your nipple, pulling it as he scrapes his teeth against your other. Tongue flicking against the sensitive nub another moan escapes your lips as he plays with you for what feels like hours. He doesn't even go to touch your aching cunt until you're covered in a sheen of sweat. Begging for his hands to move lower as your vision spots in the dark from his sensual touch alone. Your own hands explore up his defined abs and torso occasionally catching the cool metal of his chains, this time you decide to pull him into a kiss. Your lips touching his for the first time all night and you feel like a live wire. Hungrily and aggressively trying to devour him as you feel music dancing through your blood, humming in your bones, he groans amplifying the feeling as his clothed hard on presses into your core. His tongue swipes over yours and the thought of not even knowing what he looks like arches your back into his touch. 

Finally he flips your skirt up, his fingers venturing between your thighs and when he finds no fabric and the satisfying sound of your slick he bucks his hips, biting at your breasts. 

"So wet sparrow…." His voice is soft breath and a little desperate causing your cunt to clench. He circles your clit until you're crying, his fingers occasionally checking for a stream of tears. When he feels the droplets on your face he chuckles shoving his fingers knuckle deep going agonizingly slow until you're fluttering around his thick curled digits. You cum hard and he whispers praises in your ear, several times as your body shakes and you think you won't be able to make it through the night. 

"Ready for my cock babe?" He asks gently swiping his thumb over your swollen and heavily abused clit. You perk right up, ready for the finale silently thanking the gods for a band members stamina. You notice him shaking as he leans down for a kiss, his stomach sweaty and sticking to yours. You fist his hair, pulling him back just a bit. 

"You'll be okay?" You can just make out the gleam of his teeth from his smirk before his voice comes out as pure sinful husk. 

"The question is, will you sweet sparrow?" 

Too stunned to answer he swallows your silence with a kiss before he sheaths himself inside you. Relishing the moan in his mouth and the fluttering of your velvet walls as they adjust to him. You were so wet, so ready for him as he slowly rocked his hips. Your half wish from earlier coming true as your hands fly to the dimples of his lower back, trying to urge him to quicken his pace but he keeps it languid, deadly. Each stroke hitting with purpose. The head of his cock hitting that cushy spot as his pelvis snapped against your clit. The sensation sends you into a never ending moan. Each gasp his stage name as he marks you as his, nails raking down your arms as he praises. 

"Such a nice pussy you have. Taking me so fucking well." He lingers by your ear, his tone the opposite of his lustful words. Your own nails claw down his back in viscous lines as he keeps you on the edge. The coil, steady and tight as you feel the pressure in your stomach growing. He can feel how tightly you're squeezing him and how your thighs are locked around his waist. He press his fingers into your stomach as his thumb swipes over your clit, his hips snapping faster and faster as he waits for what he hopes is coming. The pressure becomes too much he overstimulates your body, shaking as you cry out. 

"I can't, I can't…" 

"You can, just for me. Don't be shy, cum for me baby." His deep voice sends a chill through your body, you go rigid, quiet before your body jerks and releases a clear liquid onto his pelvis and cock. Shaking as he fucks your through it before his voice comes out strained as you milk him. 

"Imma cum baby, where do you want it?" 

"In me, I promise I have an IUD just fucking cum Dark Shadow!" You gasp and he obeys, adding to your pleasant after shocks, filling you to the brim with his hot seed with a husky grunt. He collapses onto you fixing your shirt before he gently withdraws, keeping his face to your chest as your fingers find his hair. You try not to let your thoughts wander and as if he could read your mind. 

"I promise you, you're the only one who's made me do that." He kisses your throat gently before his hand searches for your free one, interlacing his fingers with yours before he hums. Slowly singing you to sleep. You welcome the feeling as exhaustion blankets you in darkness.

"Uh miss." The voice comes as a shock as a large man tries to wake you from a distance. You startle, grabbing at blankets to cover yourself although you're fully clothed.  

"Hate to wake you miss but we're locking up. The venue is closed and the band is…" Although he looks a brute he clearly has some sort of heart. Unable to say what you know.  

"Gone." Tears burn your eyes as you think of how stupid you were. To ever think you were special enough to be anything more than a groupie. A note sits on the bedside table. 

"Should we cross paths again, Sparrow. I'll make you forever mine" 

The note blurs as you recognize the lyrics to the song. You look down at his band tee and wonder if your favorite song was more of a gimmick to pick up fans than some fated promise. 

And so life moves on.

You can only tell that time has passed from the fading color of your bruises. Slowly they melt from a cold bluish black into cool greens and warm dotted yellows. You sigh, looking in the mirror before you head towards your room for clothes.  Finally mustering up the courage to wear that stupid band tee he gave you again. It still smells faintly of him, of the winter woods suspended in forever twilight. Of musk from your sweat and his. You fight back the tears as you remind yourself you just put on mascara, finally choosing to participate in a social life after having your heart broken for being a fool. You decided to get ready sooner rather than later, otherwise you would have backed out from the plans and mopped around the house. You figured some coffee would help kill the time as you lace up your converse thinking of your favorite shop. You head out and walk leisurely to the cafe off the beaten path of downtown.  The street is full but not overly so as people browse the shopping district of the huge city you call home. Everyone fades into the background until your eye catches against a handsome man, dressed in tastefully torn black jeans, and an onyx turtleneck. You would be concerned for his attire in this weather if he wasn't so damn handsome. You must catch his eye as well as his face instantly lights up when he makes eye contact. He beats you to the cafe door, holding it open for you with ringed fingers like a gentleman waiting for you to enter. The gesture feels familiar causing your heart to squeeze in your chest, feeling trapped beneath your too small rib cage. As you walk past him you think you smell something familiar. 

Like cedar and pine, dancing on a snowy wind as the sun sets the world on fire. 

Your world on fire as you grip at the front of Dark Shadow's shirt trying not to cry. You just wanted your fucking macchiato and to move on with your life. You had lived every fan's dream of sleeping with your favorite band member. Tasting Dark Shadow's blackberry mouth. Shouldn't that be enough? 

Your aching heart said otherwise. 

Suddenly warmth is behind you, radiating off of a thick body as the handsome man bends over to put his profile to your ear. Goose flesh prickles your skin in late August as he says with a voice that drapes you in sinful black silk.

"You look damn good in my shirt, sparrow."