#but cassie sounds like good fun rn

[silentgrim]

and if i did a casual gameplay w cassandra

[uniformbravo]

i have obtained ITEMS.......

so here's the rundown (short version):

1. BOY. SON BOY. IN MY POSSESSION. i fuckigng have him hes my son & hes REAL i can hold him in my hands right at this very moment waaaaaAAA i saw him on the shelf and yoinked him so fast aughgughgh....,.,.,..,, they had the two others in the set (a sensei and a little fox) but they were $15 each and i couldn't be dropping $45 like that 😭 but it's ok bc i got a fuckign real life natsume in my home i cannot fucking believe it HE'S SO CUTE. HE IS SO SMALL. SCREAMS

(kind of want to sculpt a tiny sensei for which to enplace beside him at his side..... right in the path of the leg that's abt to kick forward-)

2. BOOKE......... vol 22 of natsuyuu & holy shit what a GORGEOUS cover i wanna do a redraw of it so bad now that i FINALLY have it hsmgnsghj absolutely my fave cover in the series TBH. also this is a big deal bc it's one of the last few volumes i need to complete the series and it's SERIOUSLY hard to find rn (i will get into this more below but just know it's basically a miracle i have this 🙏)

3. ANIMORPHS WAAAAAA so the store i went to had a bunch of different shit including both manga & normal books (i see no difference love is love) so ofc i HAD to check the children's section and they had these two animorphs books for a few bucks each!! i honestly didn't really even pay attention to which ones they were beyond checking the numbers to make sure i didn't already have them but as soon as i got home i got a good look at them AND THEY ARE??? BOTH BANGERS????? YOOOOOOOOOO

#19 The Departure (butterfly book) is the one where cassie cheats death thru a bullshit morphing rules loophole and it's GREAT and oh yeah a lot of philosophical "see from the enemy's pov" gray morality stuff which goes so much harder than im making it sound.... it's always been one that stood out to me as a special one so i am Thrilled to have it

as for #33 The Illusion i fucken lost it when i recognized the cover IT'S THE BIRD TORTURE BOOK aka book where they are so so fucking mean to tobias #458283049 THEY ARE SO MEAN TO HIM LEAVE MY SON ALONE i love this book A LOT i cannot believe what these two books turned out to be w/o me even realizing it, and they were the only two animorphs books they had like??? god favors me

ok that was the short version now here's my saga:

SO FUNNY STORY LOL i've been rly into manga collecting videos on yt which frequently dip into manga shopping vlogs right. they go to stores & film the shelves & it's a lot of fun to see all the stuff they have but Most Importantly whenever they get to the N section my eyes ZOOM TF IN lookin for those natsuyuu spines bc i'm on the fuckin hunt and i'm obsessed i NEED to see what they have (which is why i always die inside whenever they skip over the entire naruto section bc natsuyuu is usually RIGHT after it and EVERYBODY MISSES IT slams fist on the ground)

the main thing i look for is volumes i don't have which is a dangerous game bc if i DID see smth i needed and was unable to obtain it i would simply perish and wither away on the spot because these last 3 volumes i need are SO IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND they are not ANYWHERE online except on ebay for like $150 which SUCKS so if i knew they were out there existing on a shelf completely out of my reach i wouldn't make it

anyway i was watchin a shopping vlog & this guy's like we're going to the book-off in this exact location and im like wowie that's near me maybe i should check it out sometime and he's like here's the manga section and im like 👁👁 bc ofc i am and it's not like he's showing every shelf in detail, doesn't even really look at the N section BUT what do i see with my Combat Trained Eagle Eyes

👀

(this is zoomed tf in on like the corner of the screen BUT IT'S VOLUME FUCKEN 22 BABEY DO U SEE IT UUAAHGH) (so bizarre to look at that screenshot now knowing that that book on the shelf is MY specific copy that i now own like god. i really did just reach into the screen and YOINK)

so i immediately check the video's upload date & it's only been a Week but also that portion of the video had been filmed a week prior to the rest of the footage and on top of that there's no telling how much time passed between filming and uploading so we have at LEAST 2 weeks definitely more on the docket so im like ooohhgh but also like i mentioned before. these books are fucken IMPOSSIBLE to find for a reasonable price online rn so i have absolutely nothing to lose ok

i call the place & ask abt it and they're like ya we have it forrr $7.99 and i scream in my head so so loud bc that's $2 below retail and like $75 below the asking price on ebay (some fucking goon is selling a goddamn raw unrestored library copy for over $80 hello?????? absolute clown behavior SMH meanwhile this below retail copy is in Wonderful condition it's BEAUTIFUL)

ik i said earlier that i was "nearby" the location in the video but that was a lie it's a fucking hour drive which is Small Price To Pay for Natsume's Book of Friends Vol 22 by Yuki Midorikawa in MY mind but since i don't drive i had to find someone who agreed w/ me lmfao. the store does not ship either to ur home or to a closer location so i had literally no other option and on top of that they only do same day holds on items, to stress out Me Specifically (joking tho they were so so nice. the person i spoke to was like "well this series doesn't sell v often and we've had it for a while, so there's a good chance it'll still be here whenever you can come out" like 😭 they didn't have to reassure me like that but they did and it helped me make it thru the week goddamnit)

so luckily i was able to get out there the very same weekend and like bro. they have so much shit it's a rly cool store... i believe they have new items but their whole thing is resale & second-hand stuff so u can find some rly neat stuff there... i spent so long in the merch section oh my god. they have this entire aisle that's just pins & buttons & charms and it's absolute madness, like This Shit (different location but same idea)

and good god u would not BELIEVE the sheer amt of ososan stuff they had there, i genuinely believe a flat 50% of it was just ososan AT LEAST (even in this pic i can see a kara on that second shelf there gksdngskdf 2nd to last row on the far right), i think i would have died if i'd gone there during the height of my obsession bc holy shit. why did they have so much osomatsu san. it was bananas (i might've gotten smth if i found one i liked but it was mostly like official art lookin stuff & that style doesn't rly appeal to me so rip. there were a LOT of karas & ichis tho)

anywayyyyy i shouldn't have spent so much time going thru all that but among the sea of buttons & pins were those rubber character charms here and there which i WAS interested in, specifically bc one of the kimi to boku sets i want so dearly is the rubber charms like LOOK at them.........

i am not only screaming & crying but ALSO throwing up LOOK AT THEMMMMM i would die for all 5 of them. anyway they didn't have any of em as far as i could see which wasn't that surprising since it's not a very well-known series but also i saw a million guys i'd never seen in my life in that section so IT WAS POSSIBLE..........

i wandered around the books section for a while bc i wasn't ready for the manga yet (busy aisle) & that's where i found the animorphs WHICH btw are in SUCH good condition like obvs the pages are yellowed but the covers & spines are clean af and both of the cover illustrations underneath are intact so i'm super happy abt that!! i looked around for a few other things just for fun, like they had a few deltora quest books, neither of the ones i need but it was still neat to see. o they also had a copy of wayward son (simon snow book 2) which was rly fun bc hey i know those guys!!! need to get back to reading their shit rly bad but uh u know!!!!! i will

the manga section wasn't super big, just like. one aisle, both sides. they had alphabetical markers to organize them but man things were pretty out of order within each section so i hope i didn't miss anything gskdnkfdg.... it's not like i was planning on buying a whole lot but i did have a list of things to keep an eye out for and if they happened to be a good price then,,,

i didn't find anything tho rip. i rly wanted to check out some japanese manga too but it didn't look like they had any so i was like oh well but fuckin. i'm SO mad at myself, the next morning i found out that APPARENTLY all the jpn manga's in the dollar outlet version of the store they had upstairs, which i KNEW existed but didn't end up checking out gjgaughagjsdgj i'd even thought about asking one of the employees if they had any but i DIDN't and now im DYING oh my god. i'll never be able to get out there again, not any time soon, this was like a One Time Thing i'm so OTL

(i was gonna look for like, natsuyuu fanbooks, some of midorikawa's other works, maybe some monthly magazines like the one natsuyuu gets published in if they even had that sort of thing.... oogh im lying down)

anyway i pretty much checked out after that, they had my book at the counter bc i had called ahead to place a hold JUST TO BE SAFE..... who knows how many other people watched that guy's video and paused obsessively over that one part bc they caught a glimpse of natsuyuu spines in the bg and spotted the elusive vol 22 sitting Right There for all the world to see and immediately started planning how to get out there asap before it disappeared like a dream evaporating into mist as soon as you wake up

anyway that's where the book shopping saga ends but the last magical thing that happened was the mall had a somisomi aka taiyaki babeeyyyyyyy (v exciting bc the one at my local mall is GONE) so i got some w the taro filling (taro my beloved) and it was THE BEST

somisomi's main thing is like, ice cream taiyaki (left) but i always just get the regular kind (right) bc hmnmgnhm i like the it

so that concludes my funny lil weekend trip, even if i missed the outlet store i still got some super gr8 stuff & i'm v happy about it ;v;

---

ok addendum (i didn't know where else to put this): i realized in the middle of writing this that getting the lil natsume meant i could actually fuckin update my myfigurecollection page for the first time since making an acct gkjgskndgkd so i did that but it was a CURSE bc I GUESS there's a new natsume figure that i didn't know about and it's SO FUCKING CUTE IM IN AGONY

HE'S SO CUTE AAAAAAHHGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭 I'M HAVING AN ANEURYSM OOOOGHHHH HE'S WEARING THE HAT i adore that hat and his scarf & coat & the way he's stumbling? running?? AND SENSEI'S LIL OUTFIT STOPPPPPPPPPPPP my life is fucking over i cant take this goodbye. farewell. sora death noise.mp3

ok this is really the end thank u for ur time o)-<

[theliterarybeldam]

Euphoria Finale Time, I already saw shit on this app, I’m not ready to cry

Not Faye doing that shooshing thing like that

Custer I’m ready to murder you, but Ash beat me to it 😭

“Thank goodness we didn’t have a gun to shoot back” bruh 😭

“I don’t wanna Google the scraps. I wanna peel back the layers”

fez if you don’t stop being so cute I’m gonna kiss you on the forehead

Back to the heavy breathing 😭

Rue’s just like me “wtf is that”

Suze immediately “oh god” ma’am 😭

The gasp of the audience, they like “is this part of the play” 😭

Stoppp. Not him saying exactly what I said.

Cassie stop ittttt

Not Bobbi thinking it’s part of the play

Suze trying to diffuse the tension by bringing back Ethan lmao

Cassieee girllll it’s giving pick meee choose meee

“Language missy” 😭

“I feel like I’m gonna throw up” girl same

Cassieee why are you doing this to your sister

Stopppp not Lexi including the carousel 😭

BEAT HER ASS MADDYYY

Ooh that slap sounded painful

BB is me 😭😭

This convo with Rue and Elliot, “you might’ve accidentally saved my life” yea but he slept with your girlfriend 😭

Rueee you’re doing so good baby 🥺

“Don’t worry I’m not gonna tell anyone” girl bye 💀 snitch on him too

“You talk to jules?” Like nah we don’t talk to the opps idk why we talking to you

The song 😭 release this asap

If we’re gonna go into season 3 and Sam tells me Elliot isn’t in love with her, then he’s dumb

“Just a couple sinners makin fun of hell” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Okay we get it you love her stop singing now, go back to Fez or Maddy beating Cassie

The eye contact bro bye 😭 why am I blushing?

Even Rue’s like “bruh this song is so long” 💀

“I’m still workin on it” boy that was long af wym

“Can we be friends even though I slept with your girlfriend”

The look stop I’m already dead

Bobbi is so cute 🥺🥺

Rue starting the chant I fuckin love her 🥺😭

“Giddy up” BOBBI 😭

“Sometimes people need to get their feelings hurt” I know that’s right

Oh fuck why I forget Ash did that 😭

Y’all I know what happens but I can’t breath

Not the weapons in the dryer

The cameras moving

Ash wtf are you doing

Aye yo I need an inhaler

I’m SHAKING IN MY BOOTS

ASH STOP IT WTF 💀

I could honestly give a fuck about this Nate shit rn why’d you interrupt when I’m on the verge of not breathing

The warehouse 😭

“You don’t get to ruin our lives and just get to be happier” I mean he’s not wrong?

Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days

The nightmare and everyone getting uncomfortable like same 😭

If he’s not talking about the 3rd kid I don’t care 😭😂

“I don’t want your apology” yea well I don’t want this scene 🤷🏾‍♀️

Oooh he got a flash drive? Nvm yes I do

Everyone goin to jail……except for ash

EXPOSE CAL ALL 2022

Oh shit back to not breathing 😭😭

Not them pointing a gun at an already dead body like isn’t that why you’re in here 😭

Ashhhh noo

Bruh I’m shaking 💀

The fuckin bullet holes in everything I literally cannot breathe

Ash playing dead why the fuck

I’m fuckin crying leave me alone don’t fuckin talk to me, never watching this show again

Going back to the play right after please don’t 😭

Bruh this episode is hard I don’t think I’m okay

Lexi and her dad to Lexi and Rue 😭😭 if they’re not besties for the resties Sam is getting another very heated letter (he already has at least one per episode on the way)

I’m sorry but I think Ethan playing Suze is my favorite thing on this earth

I’m still crying

Rue’s letter at the funeral someone please hug her already 😭

Fake Rue making Jules realize stuff about Real Rue

I don’t think I’m okay…like at all

Realizing how close the girls actually are 😭😭

Rexi for the win

I’m fucking crying my face just permanently leaking

Rue reassuring Lexi about how an addict feels 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Need a whole other box of tissues 😭😭😭

Have they been in the bathroom this whole time?

Why isn’t Cassie in the fuckin hospital 😭😭

“This is just the beginning” 😭😭😭😭 good she fuckin deserves it bitch ass hoe

Jules if you don’t get away from my girl

Take your "I love you" and shove it up your ass

Rue staying clean for the rest of the school year? Wtf does that mean?!

So you’re telling me Lab took I’m Tired offline so that they could release this Zendaya version? 😭😭

I'm not mad about it, but I'm a tad bit upset

IM NOT OKAY LIKE AT ALL THIS FINALE WAS HARD

[cassierobinsons]

it's no worries! i'm delighted you're answering my asks at all lmao. i really think you and i are on the same wavelength about this show, you're really cool, and you have really good and thoughtful takes.

i blocked that kitsune episode from my memory ugh. it really shouldn't have been a surprise what dabb ended up doing to billie even when she was his character considering how consistently racism creeps into his work.

i'm very sorry you're having to experience season 9, you're very brave to not just skip it. 10 i think is slightly better mainly because it introduces rowena who's a lot of fun and gets some depth as the show goes on (being a hot milf witch also helps a lot) but also mark of cain is not a good time. 12 is a trainwreck in terms of like. watching it as a form of television but the dean and mary scenes hit super hard and feel like they belong on an earlier season that would give them a real resolution.

"like i do not like s8 sam at all but at least there was something going on there! he was a hayes code homophobe and had the haircut of a premade sim but it was something!"

he was soooooo wack about benny lmao. i think it was meant to be portrayed as him projecting his own experiences with ruby but benny literally never did anything wrong so it just made sam look like a dick. which i prefer, i think sam being initially weird about dean being bi as something he never considered is more IC than ex-gsa member sam.

very much agreed on gamble-genuinely interesting ideas but not great execution. i can't think about what happened with lisa without wanting to bite. maybe it's for the best he wasn't paired with cassie instead post swan song because i can't imagine the awful shit they'd pull with her.

(following on from this ask THIS CHAIN IS GETTING LONG LMFAO)

aw thanks anon 😊 i'm enjoying the chance to longform chat about this terrible show.

dabb's racism is easily his worst quality. he's a dean anti and his writing is often mean-spirited but WOW does his racism dwarf everything else.

i've been stuck on s9 since early december and plan on going back to it once i've made some progress catching up on the shows i'm watching rn (namely search party s5, the expanse s5, hacks, AND yellowjackets) so like. realistically i'm not going back until feb lmfao. even then i don't give a shit about the plot rn so i'll only watch eps for cas or when minor characters pop up. i've said this before but the decision to kill kevin off reaaaally weighs on me as being spn's nadir, a real No Melanin Allowed moment. jeremy carver can meet me in the pit, idgaf.

yeah the mark of cain plotline sounds so 😒 and i know what i'm about to say sounds WILD considering the last 3-4 days of dean apologism but ultimately. i am a casgirl who loves dean but not a deangirl so while i love s4 dean's noxious era the prospect of a season and a half of it bores me to tears. toxicity? from a man? groundbreaking. i am looking forward to meeting rowena though. she sounds so cool as a character it's genuinely baffling that a show like spn came up with her.

12 is a trainwreck in terms of like. watching it as a form of television but the dean and mary scenes hit super hard and feel like they belong on an earlier season that would give them a real resolution.

there are a plethora of moments i hear about in the later seasons have me like. damn. this would've been Masterpiece Theatre if it happened 5 years earlier. still, i'm looking forward to watching some of the motws in s12. regarding dean will probably revive brainworms that have lain dormant since my s1-2 deangirl days.

sam was so fucking terrible about benny jdsfdjkfjs and i get that they were trying to parallel it with ruby and especially amy but man. the whole point of the slice girls is that sam killing emma is meant to cancel out the amy thing like pemdas. and it's an evil and wrong point! but it's a point. so having sam get pissy over benny makes him look so bad because bro you literally put a bullet in his daughter, you DO NOT get to be precious about this. but it does lend credence to my personal theory that it's hard for sam to draw from his supposedly deep well of empathy for other supernatural creatures if he cannot directly project his issues onto them 🤭

i've posted briefly about the queer subtext in citizen fang (bonus commentary by @softbrah) and yeah, it is strong evidence that sam has no fucking clue dean desires men carnally. in the secret good s9 that exists in my head dean & human!cas start fucking after like 3 weeks in the bunker and sam is sent into a tailspin.

the lisa&ben thing was gamble being at a 10 when she should've been at a 2. or like a 6 tops. you can tragically bury dean's dreams of being a dad without having him do this horrible thing to his exgf and her son i promise! you don't have to make a writing choice this evil! makes me extremely glad that he didn't go to cassie in canon because gamble handling a black female character is the stuff of nightmares. i do want more deancassie in fic though, stat!

[grxceblqckthxrn]

hi @chocolatecarstairs came up with these post-CHOG questions and i really want to answer them because im sad that im finished reading it :((

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW

what was your favorite part, 1 or 2?

Honestly I loved both parts, but I’d say I loved part two just a little bit more for the time that James wasn’t under the curse anymore and LOVED Cordelia

which scene in the book was your favorite?

EVERY scene that had Matthew and James being wholesome parabatai in it!!! my favourite chapter in this book was Blue Ruin, the one after Grace takes the bracelet back from James  (aside from the whispering room ofc).

what scene (or scenes) made you cry the most?

ok ngl i didnt spend much of this book crying, but the only scene that actually made me tear up was when james was dying and matthew could feel it and jesse (WHO I FUCKING LOVED MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD) gave him his last breath :(((((

what scenes were unsatisfactory?

there were not enough Christopher scenes (but to be fair, even if the entire book was just Christopher it still wouldnt be enough for me)

but fr, i cant think of any off the top of my head but i’ll edit this if i do later

what made you laugh the most?

matthew!! james!! thomas!! christopher!! also some of the things Jesse said

what bored you?

this wasn’t boring, but the whole charles/alastair plot line didn’t have me very invested. I did love the alastair/ cordelia scenes tho, so it was just charles that was the problem

also no offense to james bc he was my first actual fictional crush after reading TMH/NBS but like whenever he talked about being in grace i would literally zone out lol the bracelet curse makes him so boring but whenever he isnt in the curse/ is with someone who is NOT grace i just!! love him!!

what disappointed you?

cassie honestly had me kinda shipping matthew/cordelia for a solid FIVE SECONDS there when he stepped in to dance with her after james left her standing there, but that was one of the only scenes that made me feel like they had natural chemistry (along with the scene where he drops her off at her house). I felt like the during the rest of their interactions in the book, cordelia was kind of uncomfortable, which made me really sad because even tho she has every right to feel that way, i felt bad for matthew. I kind of want him to fall for someone else completely and for it to be reciprocated. also, i just really want for matthew and cordelia to become good friends because i feel like they could have such great natural chemistry if matthew didnt love her.

what is the top thing you wish had been done differently?

see above.

what things did you predict that came true?

JAMES BURNING DOWN BLACKTHORN MANOR I FUCKING SAID HE WOULD DO IT TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO IF YALL WANT ME TO LINK THE THEORY LMK

what are some things that were really unexpected?

ok there’s quite a few things here so bear w me babes:

- James genuinely loving cordelia from the start. I wasn’t expecting him to naturally feel nothing for grace at all, so i was expecting a slow burn jordelia, but finding out that he actually loves her makes me so happy but the end where cordelia thinks he was just pretending breaks my heart :(((

-matthew liking cordelia lol definitely was not expecting another parabatai love triangle but i hope it doesnt last. i do think it adds to the plot and i love it, it just hurts to see matthew so emo :(((

-I was expecting to like cordelia as a character, but i ended up LOVING her so fucking much???? she’s so three dimensional to me, and it’s interesting to see how her personality adapts around different characters as people adapt around different social circles irl

-liking jesse as much as i did

-ok so james’ entire character was a surprise to me. it’s so fascinating to see how the bracelet actually affected his personality.If you recall him in The Midnight Heir from TBC. he’s like an entirely different person. i still loved him in TMH but i went into CHOG thinking that if he was gonna be like that the entire time i’d probably get over him really quickly. i was pleasantly surprised by how much i ended up loving him even more tho

-i didn’t expect oliver hayward to die and im going to stay emo about it

- Christopher is so much more clear headed than he was made out to be prior?? like there were so many scenes where he was fully there and when he defended anna to alastair i just kfdsnfkld i love him

are there characters that you didn’t like before that you like now?

yikes umm... Alastair, maybe? he’s somewhat okay to me now, I dont dislike him as much as I used to. ooh and Hypatia Vex. the only scene i remember liking her in QOAAD was when she helped out kit, ty and dru (me, going a whole TSC post without somehow mentioning kit? not possible)

are there characters that you liked before that you don’t like now?

I started CHOG ready to give Grace the benefit of the doubt, and I was surprised by how timid and shy she seemed at the start, but it was interesting to see how it was all an act and how she doesn’t have an actual personality yet. one could argue that she actually does love james, but i doubt it at this point. i dont hate her yet, even tho she IS fucking up james’ life, but she’s on thin fucking ice.

who was your favorite new character?

does new character mean completely new or just never been in a novella new? because for the first, it would be Cordelia (i LOVE her sm!!) and other wise it would be james, matthew and co. also!!! jesse!!

what places in the book would you like to visit?

that hell dimension sounds pretty lit ngl

did you like the ending?

ok so. we KNOW that jordelia is gonna be endgame. cassandra clare always takes the hardest path to get there, but when has she not delivered? it’s just a matter of waiting. so, yes, i did like the ending in sense of the plot because it was a great twist, but i also feel really bad for all of them even tho ik they’re eventually gonna be together :(((

what did you think of the epilogue?

i wasnt surprised, since we alr know that Tatiana is shady asf, but i just really wanna know how she partnered up with a GREATER demon like lol wtf. again, im really happy in terms of plot with this

what are your thoughts on the engagement?

i feel so. fucking bad. for cordelia. and james too, even tho he’s under the bracelet’s curse so he doesnt even KNOW he’s being manipulated. but i love how even through the curse, james still loves cordelia in his own way.

what did you want to see that didn’t happen?

matthew getting therapy periodt

umm honestly i just want more “merry thieves” content like i just love. all of them.

what do you wish had been resolved that wasn’t?

i really want matthew to tell james or cordelia what happened because i just need him to be loved and supported lol i want to give him a hug. 

what is your favorite pairing as of now?

jordelia!!! and lucie and jesse are kind cute rn, and i like them if theyre gonna be pining after eachother but i feel like if they actually get together i wont like the relationship as much.

which characters would you like to see more of in the next book?

CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER 

ANNA!!! i lovED reading about her she’s so badass

matthew!! jesse!! also i wanna see more of those bitchy girls lol just so we can see anna or cordelia tell them to stfu

what is one character whose death you would undo if you could?

ok i know that jesse is still very much a conscious character despite being dead but like,,, i want him to be the way he was before and also i want him to come back to life

and barbara!! she seemed so sweet 

which characters got bad/unsatisfactory endings?

ummm barbara? i cant really say much on this yet bc its still only the first book and when has the first book ever ended up with anyone being happy.

oh but also can we sign a petition to make cassie let matthew actually survive the series because my heart aches just at the THOUGHT of eventually having to read a scene where he dies

which characters got what they deserved?

literally. none of them yet. :(

who should have died but didn’t?

Tatiana lol also lowkey charles but i also feel pity him to an extent 

what plotline are you most excited to see in the next book?

okay the entire jesse plot has me hooked because i LOVE his character. also i love the bracelet plot but its making me MAD because i just want james to be happy but

what is one scene that you wish hadn’t happened, but you know was unavoidable?

THE ONE WHERE GRACE PUTS THE BRACELET BACK ON JAMES. i mean obv there was no way he was completely done with grace, but i literally got so sad at that part like why HIM of all people smfh let him be happy

which pairing do you like the least?

alastair x charles, grace x james, lucie x matthew bc neither of them actually like either imo lol

what are some theories you have for chain of iron?

- not necessarily for COI but i think matthew is gonna get exiled and turned into made into a mundane

- the bracelet will break (?)

- jesse will come back to life (like actual life) at the end of the book

-grace is gonna do something to help the main characters, making it hard for us to hate her.

what characters do you think should have gotten more plot time?

lol are yall gonna hate me if i say christopher again (also anna)

anyways this was really fun!!!!! PLEASE ASK ME STUFF ABOUT MY OPINIONS AND STUFF OR JUST SAY ANYTHING ABT THE BOOK BC IM DESPERATE TO TALK TO PPL ABOUT IT

[writingwithadinosaur]

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Word Count: 2,430

Key: Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Mental Health Issues (Depression, Anxiety, Bad Thoughts, Self-Loathing)

Summary: Some days, you can handle your normal day-to-day tasks. You can function normally and get things done. But then there are some days (or even weeks) where you need a little help doing even getting out of bed.

Author’s Note: Happy Monday! Hopefully this helps some of us get through another week! 

This is a selfish piece. My mental health is not good. A lot of things in my life have kind of come crashing down and I’m attempting to figure out what the hell to do with my life. Because of everything kind of overwhelming me, its been difficult to do simple things like shower or even get out of bed. So here’s what I wish my life could be when I’m in those situations.

This is also my first Scott Lang piece, so please be gentle!

If you or a loved one are dealing with mental illness, please reach out. If not to a professional, then to a friend or family member. And if you feel you don’t have those, my message box is always open.

Song lyrics are from “Heat of the Moment” by Asia. A current favorite of mine.

Shoutout to @witchymarvelspacecase for being her amazing self and helping me out with this story and so many of my other stories!

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces, check out my tag list above and let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3

- DreaSaurusREX

Today was going to be one of those days. You hadn’t even been awake for more than 15 minutes before your brain started “The Cycle”, as you called it.

Phase 1 - Depression and Self-Hatred.

You were still trying to figure out what you wanted to really do with your life. For now, you were working two part time jobs and living with your boyfriend, Scott, and his buddy, Luis. You worked at a cafe a few blocks away as well as at the X-Con Security Consultants business that the boys were running. You weren’t an ex-con, but you knew more about business than the boys, so you helped run the logistical side of things. As great as it was to live with Scott and have a job in the first place, you knew that working these two jobs was not what you wanted to do for the rest of your life.

Because of this, your depression labeled that a failure.

You still don’t know what you’re doing? Everyone else you know is either getting a degree or already in the field they want to be in. What are you doing? When are you gonna get your pathetic self up and get your shit together? Why the fuck even try at this point.

That last thought paralyzed you. Your internal demons dug their claws into your limbs and pinned you to your mattress, leaving you staring at the wall. You didn’t even check what time it was or if anyone had tried to text you.

Scott was already up and about for the day. His 3 years of house arrest was over, so he was taking advantage of his newly regained freedom. He had made plans with Cassie to go to some trampoline gym, and then lunch at their favorite diner. So you didn’t really have to worry about him for a few hours at least. You loved your boyfriend. But you really didn’t want to have to pretend to be okay around him or anyone else when you had no motivation or energy like this.

You could hear Luis rushing to get his things together and heading to the office.

Shit. You didn’t set your alarm last night, idiot. That means it's at least 9AM. There’s no way you can get your dumbass up and ready in the next 10 minutes. Thank god you don’t have to work at the cafe today. Again, why the hell do you even try?

You were supposed to go with him and get some work done with him, Kurt, and Dave. But you couldn’t even find the energy to get out of bed and tell him. So you shot him a quick text.

(Y/N): Hey. I gotta work from home today. Really not feeling good rn. Sorry.

Luis knocked on your door a minute later but didn’t open it. He spoke through the closed door.

“No worries, (Y/N/N)! I gotchu! I’ll let you know if anything happens at the office. Text me if you need anything.”

“Will do. Thanks.” You managed to be loud enough since you heard his footsteps and the front door close. You took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to go about today.

Wow. You can’t even manage to get up and tell Luis yourself? Pathetic.

You tried to not let your brain speak too much more. Instead, you picked up your phone to check social media and respond to some texts. On days like this, Youtube and Netflix were your best friends.

Phase 2 - Overthinking.

You hadn’t paid any attention to the time. The last time you’d looked at the clock on your phone, it was 9:45AM. After your video was over, you got a text from Scott.

Scott: Hey there, honey! Cassie and I are finishing up lunch. I’m gonna drop her off and then be on my way back.

You read the message but had to go back and reread the word “lunch.” It couldn’t be lunchtime! But when you checked the time on your phone. 12:45PM.

Did you really just lay in bed and watch YouTube videos for three fucking hours?! Now you’re not going to have time to do much of anything. So much of your day is gone. You didn’t even have breakfast. You were supposed to be getting better at eating. And now you’re slipping and forgetting to eat again. Fuck. Just tell Scott what you told Luis and then figure out what to do later.

(Y/N): Okay. I didn’t go into the office today. So I’ll be at home when you get here.”

Scott: Luis told me. You okay?

You couldn’t help but pause. You weren’t okay, but you didn’t want to tell Scott that.

If you tell him, he’ll worry about you, and he just had a great day with Cassie. You don’t want to ruin his day, do you? What if you tell him and he gets upset? He already has so many other things to worry about. Do not add to that list. But if you don’t tell someone what’s going on, how are things going to go better? Maybe things are just meant to be bad for you. But Scott isn’t bad. Scott’s good. He makes you happy. He knows you have issues. Why not just tell him that you’re not okay?

Your mind just kept repeating this and adding new worst case scenarios in your mind. It apparently had taken more than a few minutes because it took your phone vibrating in your hand to break you out of that loop. Looking down, you had three messages from Scott.

Scott: Babe?

Scott: Are you okay?

Scott: I’m going to drive Cassie home now. I’ll call when I drop her off. Love you.

You hit your hand on your forehead and took a few deep breaths.

Well fuck. Now you have Scott worried. This is what we were trying to avoid! Add that to the list of fuck ups.

Phase 3 - Struggle.

You somehow managed to sit up on the edge of your bed and text Scott back.

(Y/N): Sorry! I kind of zoned out for a bit. I’m fine. Wasn’t feeling good this morning. Drive safe!”

After that sent, you got up for the first time today and went to the bathroom. You decided that you needed to eat something, so after relieving yourself and then tying your hair up, you trudged into the kitchen and pulled various fruit from the fridge. As soon as you had the various containers out, you really didn’t want to spend time cutting everything. So you just threw a handful of each into a bowl and went back to your room.

You got back in bed and picked at the fruit while watching more YouTube. You knew you had a list of things that you were supposed to do today: Shower, laundry, clean the kitchen, work on the write up for the Koham family’s security system that they wanted. But you didn’t have the energy to do any of that.

Back to Phase 1 - Depression.

More time went by than you thought. What only seemed like 15 minutes or so really turned out to be 45. You only realized this when you heard the front door open and a familiar voice go throughout the apartment.

“(Y/N/N)?”

“In here.” You tried your hardest to be loud enough. It was just enough. Scott’s footsteps got closer until the bedroom door opened and he popped his head in. He smiled when he first saw you, but then he saw that you were still curled in bed at almost 2PM. Something was off and he knew it.

“Hey there, lovebug.” He walked in and sat on the edge of the bed right next to you. You sat up against the headboard and gave him the best smile you could manage right now. “What’s goin’ on?”

You shook your head to the side and gave a face before looking at your hands.

“It’s nothing. Just not really feelin’ good today.” Your answer didn’t ease his worry any. He took one of your hands in his and ran his thumb across the back.

“It doesn’t sound like ‘nothing.’” He took his free hand and put it across your forehead for a moment. “You don’t feel like you have a fever.” You shook your head “no.” “So tell me what’s going on.”

Taking a deep breath in, you ignored everything going on in your head that said to not tell him. You couldn’t meet his eyes as you talked.

“It’s my head. It's not a very fun or kind place to be. And it's honestly hard to do anything today.” Scott took a beat to understand what you meant by that. He knew you’d had problems with your mental health in the past, but he had never really seen you like this.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You just shook your head “no.” “Okay. What can I do to help you right now?”

“Just lay here with me for a bit. I just want to lay here and watch YouTube videos and not think.”

Your voice started to break after the first sentence. You felt so weak and stupid asking for this. You felt like you should be stronger than this. A stray tear raced down your cheek. Scott quickly wiped it away and held your face in his hands.

“Hey! Its okay!” He kissed the top of your head and pulled you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around him and sat there for a minute. He gently rocked you side to side and ran his fingers up and down your spine. Once you calmed down, he pulled away so he could look at your face. He wiped the tear tracks off your cheeks and gave you a smile before standing up and holding his hands out.

“C’mon. We can lay around and watch all of YouTube or movies you want. But you need a change of scenery.” You closed your eyes and sighed. You knew he was right, but you were really comfy in bed. You slapped your hands into his as he hoisted you up out of bed and onto his shoulder and proceed to walk to the kitchen.

“SCOTT LANG! WHAT THE HELL?!” You couldn’t help but scream and laugh at the sudden change of angle. He fake groaned as he plopped you on your feet and leaned towards you.

“Figured that would be quicker! And more fun!” He gave you one of his trademark goofy smiles before kissing your cheek and walking to the fridge. You sat down at one of the chairs nearby. “By the lack of dishes in the sink, I’m assuming you haven’t eaten much of anything today?” You looked down and started to play with your hands. “Alright. What are you in the mood for?”

Scott then proceeded to make you some mac and cheese while you played some music from your phone. You had started to help Scott at one point, just to make sure he wouldn’t burn anything. While you waited for the pasta to cook, Scott started to dance to the song that was blasting through your small speaker. Causing you to laugh at his ridiculous moves. He pulled you close to him and sang along to the song while you tried to control your laughter.

       “And now you find yourself in eighty two

       The disco hot spots hold no charm for you

       You can't concern yourself with bigger things

       You catch the pearl and ride the dragon's wings

       'Cause it's the heat of the moment

       Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment

       Shone in your eyes”

During the guitar solo, Scott leaned down and kissed your cheek. You could feel him smile against your cheek as he kissed you. You turned and caught his lips with yours for a quick smooch. When you pulled away, you looked at his dorky face and smiled.

“Thank you, Scotty.” Scott tilted his head in confusion like a puppy.

“There’s nothin’ to thank me for, lovebug.”

“Yes there is. You got me up and smiling. That’s no easy task when I’m stuck in a cycle of self hatred.” Scott just nodded and smiled.

“Well, I’m glad I could help break that cycle. Even if its temporary.” You were taken aback by that. For once, you weren’t thinking about the future or how this was all bound to come up again. Scott saw your expression change as you looked down a bit. He tilted your chin back up to look at him before you could go too far though. “And if/when you get stuck in this cycle again, you can tell me and I’ll do what I can to try to help. Alright?”

You felt tears welling up in your eyes as you nodded “yes.” Scott gave you another one of his big smiles and kissed you again, his hands finding their way to your back and yours to the back of his neck. Before things could go any further, Luis walked in with Dave and Kurt, all three of them hooting and hollering at the sight of you two kissing. You leaned your forehead on Scott’s shoulder as he scolded the trio.

“Oh yeah, so mature! Just cause you guys can’t get a girl as good as (Y/N/N) doesn’t mean you can come in and ruin our moment.” Scott paused, thinking about his phrasing. “That may have come out wrong. You know what I mean!”

Scott then leaned down to whisper in your ear. “When the three amigos over there go out to the bar later tonight, we can get pretty sudzy here too.” You looked at him quizzically. “You. Me. Shower later.” It clicked in your head and you let out an “Oh! Gotcha!”

You laughed at Scott’s attempt at being smooth and kissed his cheek before checking on your pasta. Scott went to go give his boys shit for being immature. While you stirred the pot of water and noodles and looked over your shoulder at the four men joking around, you realized that you were smiling. Something you didn’t think you were going to be doing much of when today started as rough as it did.

Yeah, these types of days where you were so stuck in your own head sucked. But you were beyond thankful to have someone like Scott in your life to help you slowly figure out how to break that awful cycle.

Tags: @melconnor2007 @ashenfallsof @geeksareunique @all-by-myself98 @goodnightwife @witchymarvelspacecase @theeactress @sebby-staan @feelmyroarrrr @tomorraw @marvelous-imagining @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @badassbaker @httpmcrvel  @reading-in-moonlight

[pacman-tattoo]

pokemon hcs [bmc]

just general teams + other things for like... all the characters.

also none of these are fukn balanced or anything i just went with what i think the characters would use

alsoeveryonelivesinalolawhoops

no warnings. just nice pokemon stuff. happy things <3

jeremy heere - jeremy was born in kanto and raised there for most of his life - eventually moved to alola with his dad and lives on melemele island!  his mother is from sinnoh (and lives there now) and his father from kanto.. he’s visited kanto a couple times with his family before his mom left, and plans to just travel the different regions one day! jeremy is the kind of person to have a full team on him at almost all times imo!

his team consists of:

a shiny toucannon! he came across her one day and managed to catch her (as a pikipek) and still cries over the fact he found her tbh. her name is leia and she will fucking fight anyone who messes with jeremy (or any of jeremy’s friends, tbh.) ((michael cries over her. everyone cries over her. the shiny bi birb......... bless..... RICH CRIES OVER HER A LOT BC!!! IT’S THE BIRB!!!!!))

natasha is jeremy’s vulpix! she is a cutie that was given to him by his dad, and she’s not an alolan vulpix (which, jeremy is completely fine with tbh, because natasha is pretty fucking rad). jeremy’s actually grown up with her so they’re pretty close.

ganon is a gengar that will fuck u up. he’s kind of an ass sometimes, but he’s apart of the team nonetheless! jer caught him after he was dared to go into the thrifty megamart (while acerola was off taking care of official business, which is... a no-no, jeremy you fuck).

galileo is an eevee jeremy has yet to evolve - mainly out of uncertainty. he’ll probably end up as a jolteon tho! jeremy caught him since the boy loves eevees. michael was probably like “so what are you gonna evolve him into” and jeremy was like “.... fuck, idk.” he’s a pretty rad eevee, tbh - but he’s a lil smaller than most. he doesn’t let that get him down - fuck you if you judge him on his size, tbh.

kalel is a tirtouga that jeremy revived! he’s a pretty rad dude who acts a lot older than he is. pretty gnarly. michael likes him. they share weird outdated lingo lmao

peggy is an ariados that’s super sweet. gentle spider baby. she’s pretty optimistic tbh!!! jeremy loves his spider baby. he raised her from when she was just a baby spinarak. his daughter. i love her.

michael mell - born and raised in alola on ula’ula island! he’s pretty content to staying in alola, but would 100% travel other regions with jeremy because honestly - that sounds super fucking cool. keeps 3-4 pokemon with him at all times. super guilty about catching pokemon and sending them back to his parents - but they don’t mind! his dad loves pokemon a lot and both of his parents research them!!!

his team consists of:

daxter the decidueye! michael’s parents managed to get daxter (as a rowlet) for him for his birthday and the two are super close! sometimes closer than michael and jer are lmao. he’s a pretty damn cool bird. fuck u jeremy and ur SHINY bird.

link the raichu (alola ver.)! A RAD BOY, MICHAEL LOVES HIM A LOT AND WILL FUCKN SQUARE UP IF U INSULT LINK HE IS THE BEST FUKN RAICHU FUCK U

clyde the psyduck!!!! a good boy!!! THE BEST BOY!!!! everyone on michael’s team is the best. michael loves his team. clyde is a giant baby who michael likes to carry around tbh.

samus the flareon!!!!!! the only gal who will fuck u up if u underestimate her. michael treasures her. she is a good bab. 10/10. likes to curl up on michael while he sleeps.

christine canigula - also born and raised in alola on akala island, but lived in hoenn for a couple of years before moving back! she loves her team and would fight u. a complete angel tbh, names all her pokemon after theatre characters (same tbh). her father travels a ton and she meets up w him sometimes while she travels!!! it’s fun times

her team consists of:

cassie the oricorio! too good for the chorus. christine loves her a ton!!! she is a good bird. very dance and gets along with christine rly rly well!!!! (most often seen as in pom-pom style)

eliza the lilligant! she is good and an angel. i love her. extrmely sweet tbh. the most liked member of the team tbh. (these descriptions get shorter with every character whoops)

macbeth is christine’s machoke! he’s ready 2 tussle if u hurt christine + he’s super gr8 at moving set pieces if necessary! once picked up jeremy and scared the fuck out of him.

puck is a togedemaru! he’s super cute and ready to destroy. probably the strongest of the team tbh. probably fucked up Many ppl. he’s super sweet though??? just don’t anger him lmao. he chills in the light/sound booth during shows. he doesn’t even do anything he just chills there.

rich goranski - from sinnoh my sweet dudes! most of his pokemon are actually like.... sinnoh-native. lives in alola with his older brother now but still visits sinnoh every year. tends to travel rather than just staying in one place. has broken his pokedex multiple times on accident. his bro is pretty laid-back tbh but probably works for aether since they pay is... good and he was support rich that way. has burn scars from a bad run-in w a pokemon :/

his team consists of:

buzz is his electabuzz! a good baby, buzz is a big ole softy who cares deeply for his trainer. a tough dude, ready to tussle if someone tries to hurt rich though.

ryder is his mudsdale! a tough, cold dude who doesn’t rly give two shits abt 99% of things. prefers naps tbh. a bit stubborn sometimes too tbh. actually rly loves brooke??? no one knows why.

onyx is his salazzle. a sharp-witted girl who would fuckin stab a bitch for rich. very protective of him. she loves her short trainer. often picks fights with daxter whenever rich and michael are together, but more in the older sister way tbh.

jake dillinger - born and raised in kalos, jake made it his personal goal to travel to every region and beat the leagues. his parents have been sort of absent from his life so he’s extremely independent and tends to mother his team, honestly. he regularly talks with sycamore (and thanks him for giving him the opportunity to travel)! strong boy. loves his team. only carries three pokemon bc he’s always ready to add to his team.

chester the chesnaught! wasn’t named by jake. a timid boy who’s a little bigger than most chesnaughts, ending up around 5′8″ rather than the usual 5′3″. forgets he’s a big boy. has always referred to jake as his papa ever since he was a chespin and he hasn’t stopped lmao. what a cutie

stephanie is his mienshao! a tall babe who is ready 2 tussle. loves jake? he is a good trainer. often spars with chester to keep her skills sharp. i love her?

beans is his reuniclus and he is a smart cookie. awkwardly smaller than most pokemon tbh? he doesn’t care. he’s happy and loves himself and his teammates. often naps but is a strong baby.

chloe valentine - born in kalos, raised in alola on akala island. met brooke there too!!! didn’t grow up expecting to be that interested in battling but something seemed to spark and she’s honestly one of the strongest trainers in alola. honestly, i could see her as an island kahuna??? ready to fight anyone threatening her island. 

buster the machamp. protective of everyone tbh, not just chloe. a jolly boy who loves to eat, and often jokes around with the rest of the team and with chloe’s friend’s teams.

marshmallow the bewear. honestly a terrifying bear who knows her strength. very patient with everyone, except buster when he tells shitty jokes. often the scariest part of chloe’s team.

kate the lucario. the real threat. chloe fucking trains with her in order to keep in shape. often responsible for knocking teams out, kate is the powerhouse of the team. marshmallow may strike fear, but kate’s the one trainers should lookout for.

brooke lohst - born and raised on akala island with christine! brooke has always had an interest in taking care of pokemon and aspires to be a nurse someday tbh!!! not interested in battling tbh, but is super supportive of her friends! only keeps two pokemon with her at all times tbh. they’re good friends.

winona the chansey is brooke’s main partner tbh. she plans on staying by brooke’s side when she goes into school and helping her when she eventually becomes a nurse! good friends with rich’s mudsdale tbh. winona is very bold and very strong and i love her 

terra the espeon. given to by jeremy! terra is a sweetheart who also helps brooke as much as she can, and can help calm trainers if needed. whoops i love her?

jenna rolan - also born and raised in alola on melemele island. jenna is insanely smart??? honestly she’s gonna be a professor one day. she studies under professor kukui rn! more intereted in research than battling tbh. loves her team i s2g she would fight anyone for insulting them.

frost is her ninetails (alola ver)! jeremy loves her? especially bc he was raised in kanto and woah jenna u have a ninetails wtf!!! but she’s an ice type!!! thats so cool.... but anyway, frost is a diva i s2g, she likes attention (and likes jeremy because he gives her attention).

andy is her dragonite!!! he’s a good friend, a good chubby soft boy. andy is basically a giant teddy bear who just wants to cuddle tbh. often found napping??? what a sleepy boy

i love pokemon?

[sixmorningsafter]

76 Theses

Oh hey there, Gabi. Long time no see. Hope your summer is going well as if I don’t already know because I follow you on Instagram, and I hope your med school prep isn’t destroying you I’m going to grad school in the fall, so girl I can only imagine. EDIT: GIRL HOW DID YOU POST A CHAPTER TWO DAYS BEFORE YOU MOVED AND STARTED OVER IN ANOTHER PLACE FOR FREAKIN’ MED SCHOOL

LMAOOOO FWIW I didn’t start over, I literally moved like 30 minutes away (and my family did a solid 75% of the work because what are big over-involved Puerto Rican families for). Summer was GLORIOUS. And 6 months ago, loooooool, I’M THE WORST. But you’re the best. This review is the best. Hope you’re crushing grad school (I know you are instinctively but I also know you are because I’ve talked to you about it and despite your humble nonsense I can tell you’re killin’ it). ANYWAY, diving on in to this literary masterpiece of a review:

Anyways, let me start by saying, literally every time you post a new chapter, I think “I’m ready, let’s go”. But literally, every time I read a new chapter, I am not ready, and you slay me every single freakin’ time. Dude, I have no clue how you do it, but every time, I die. Any more deaths, and I’d be a freakin’ Winchester.

A/N: looooool that’s incredible because every time I post a new chapter I think ‘this is it, this is where everyone realizes I don’t actually know how to write, it’s been fun’. But in all seriousness, girl, the fact that you make a point to send reviews after every chapter and go into detail like this is just–like honestly it’s reason enough to crank out 30K words of my bullshit. Not even kidding. If literally no one but you read this story I’d still write it because getting your hilarious whip-smart reviews are life. It’s so appreciated. It’s so appreciated.  

Off the bat, while you may believe this is a “filler” chapter, it is a damn good filler I wish I could write filler chapters as nicely and uniquely wtf. If you meant filler as in full of wonderful delightfulness, then yas girl this is the filler-est of filler chapters. Because if you meant this is some fluff piece that has nothing of substance, if you thought for once second that we aren’t thriving off the Bamon drama of the Steroline giggles, we’d all have to chase you out of town good thing you’re already moving.

This chapter is amazing, and on a personal spiritual level, I still can not get over your similes. I know that sounds silly and amateur, but while you’re hella awesome at metaphors, your similes, dude, are unique af, and every single time I write something that barely resembles something you’ve written, I’m staring at my screen like what the actual fuck is the nonsense? Sooooo, rest assured, this chapter is awesome (to be explained in great detail), and you’re awesome too (also to be explained in greater detail).

LMAOOOOO CASSIE I HAD TO LOOK UP WHAT A FUCKING SIMILE WAS HELP ME WHY AM I HERE. But DUDE, I actually have some words to say about this, the first ones being - GAH. Thanks so, so much love. I’m beaming. The second ones being - I ALWAYS think they’re weird when I write them. Seriously. Like that feeling you said you get when you try getting creative with a description is the exact same one I get -ROLL WITH IT. I had to learn that by just sucking it up and posting shit with unusual descriptions and then seeing what kind of feedback I got for it (which tbh makes it sound like I’ve been doing it for a while lololol but I actually just recently started challenging myself to get more creative with my descriptions for things). It actually came from constantly reading writing with cool imagery (Six of Crows was a great one!) and realizing that they never fell back on tired/common metaphors. They always used something unique (Kaz’s voice being like dry leaves scattering across pavement or w/e? Lmao you know how I felt about the constant descriptions of Kaz’s voice but I loved that one). I’m clearly nowhere near that level but I’ve definitely taken to stopping a few times while writing and going, ‘Wait. This is a chance to come up with something cool. Slow down. Do better.’ Cause tbh I have no instinct for it. I don’t think in creative metaphors or similes or whatever. But if I labor over it for a minute or two I can maybe come up with something, so yeah, THE POINT OF ALL THIS BEING - it probably sounds a lot better to a reader than it will to you. They feel and read unnaturally to me because they don’t come naturally to me, lol, but the people reading probs don’t know that so trust yourself! Do it! Knowing you and your talent they’re probably incredible.

Okay, so, in an attempt not to be mundane, let’s go through this fav line by fav line please forgive me if I just rewrite the whole chapter because ff.net doesn’t let you copy/paste

“She remembered feeling alarmed, a little helpless, like a plastic bag caught in the middle of a hurricane” (us FL girls can spot one another from miles away) (but also???? great simile). Poor Damon, but also poor Bonnie. This girl is just tryna help—it’s the core of her being, tbh—and this boy is too proud. Not like proud-proud, but that oh-shit-I’m-exposed proud. You know.  A/N: AMERICAN BEAUTY REFERENCE WHADDUP. Lol I was channeling that plastic bag shot at the end of the movie. Granted there’s no hurricane in that but you know, us Florida girls put hurricanes into everything. And yeah, that’s a great read on Damon. His pride/confidence is something he uses as a shield more than anything, which isn’t to say it’s fake exactly, but more so something he relies on to stay detached and not really have to deal with things. It’s easy for him to be like ‘world sucks, I don’t care’. Anytime anyone sees below that confidence/armor, though, it’s really destabilizing for him because it makes the reality of his fears/anxieties harder to ignore, ya know?

Kai calling out “Friends?” is the most relatable thing. He’s a murdery little bean.

“And sure, maybe she’s being a giant, hypocritical pot to his doesn’t-deal-with-childhood-trauma kettle…” Yes girl, these lines are really awesome. Also, I like how Bonnie recognizes the cycle right away. She’s like ‘been there done that broseph’.

“Do you have any pop tarts?” this girl asks. Lol when you stress eat. Btw, we never find out if she got them??? I need answers???? I feel like Kai could 3D print pop tarts if he needed to.

“Toodles”: I had a friend (loose usage of the term) in hs who used to say that, for real, and it’s funny ‘cause she was this gossipy diva (Bekah?) and reading this just sent me back. Also, toodles is such a passive-aggressive thing to say, especially for Care. I don’t think toodles has ever been said without the backing vocal of ‘I hate you please die’.

“… the prospect of going through the whole song and dance made her bones ache, it was so tiring.” FINALLY, CAROLINE, YOU’RE FREE OF THE CURSE I can tell not really, but, at least, we’re getting through some of that warding doe. RIGHT!? Lol I was excited to put that bit in because it was sort of my attempted nod to everyone reading that it was okay (actually encouraged!) to feel frustrated with Caroline’s constant mood swings because she herself hated them. They weren’t meant to be read as a some ‘fascinating complicated girl’ thing, you know? I feel like a lot of shows (esp. with male writers) like to write these female characters that are difficult and volatile for the sake of being ‘interesting’ and I kind of wanted everyone to know that I wasn’t going for that. Caroline’s coming from a place of fear. She knows what she’s doing isn’t fair. She knows it’s angering and more trouble than it’s worth. And even more than that, she hates it just as much as everyone else does, and by the time we hit chapter 16, she’s finally too drained to listen to that frantic instinct to self-preserve. She just throws caution to the wind and lets it go. It’s still scary for her but what can you do. But you’re right, she’s getting there!

***Side Note*** when is Tyler gonna be a thing, I need some sma Tyler in my life rn Me toooooooo he’s my husband. He should be popping in for 18 or 19!

Stefan’s recap of what happened, “you planned the homecoming dance at the same time as the football game”/”False” is great. I really love your back-and-forth dialogue, like always, ‘cause it’s natural and it’s funny as hell. Idk, when I write it (or sometimes when I read other people’s), it doesn’t have that same fast pace hilarity. Maybe that’s just me. It’s definitely just you cause I’ve read your dialogue and it’s hilarious, but one thing I’ve found that super speeds up dialogue is removing the dialogue tags. Seriously. Makes a world of difference. Like I don’t think it’s even possible to write an extended snappy exchange with dialogue tags tbh, cause your mind will just naturally slow it down to read the description. Half the time I go back to edit, I’m just removing unnecessary dialogue tags or descriptions that felt needed at the time. It helps if you can pick dialogue that sort of speaks for itself in terms of how it’s said, too (and realizing that once you’ve set the tone of a conversation, you really don’t need to keep re-emphasizing that tone - it really only needs to be addressed if there’s a shift imo). Also, I’ve kind of found that leaving out subjects can both make dialogue sound way more natural and also speed it up. Like even in the example you used below: “You’re ridiculous”/ “Effective” / “Terrifying”/ “Productive”/ “And impressive as hell” it wouldn’t read the same if it was: “You’re ridiculous.” “I’m effective.” “You’re terrifying.” “I’m productive.” “And you’re impressive as hell.” See how it slows it down? And throw in dialogue tags and it’s even slower. “You’re ridiculous,” he said. “I’m effective,” I countered. “You’re terrifying,” he replied. “I’m productive,” I quipped. “And you’re impressive as hell,” he concluded. To me that just completely changes the speed/flow. So yeah, there’s my unsolicited advice on snappy dialogue, lolololol.

Caroline’s interjection: “Systematic overview” lol

“You’re ridiculous”/ “Effective” / “Terrifying”/ “Productive”/ “And impressive as hell”—ooooo, Stefan! Your heart-eyes are showing! 

***Side Note*** so, uh, are we ever gonna find out what Stefan allegedly did? Muahaha yes. Kind of. Iz cute.

His deadpan face eased into a smile—one of those twinkling, warm ones that reminded her of honey spilling off a spoon—and predictably, annoyingly, her stomach did a flutter—gold. I feel like you can really get away with lines like this when it comes to Steroline because a) Caroline is a writer and b) Stefan is a Disney prince I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU USED THAT BTW I’M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF BUT DUUUUDE LISTEN I have so much fun writing in Caroline’s PoV because I can write things in a way that I can’t with other characters. I think you’ll see a lot of that in 17 when Caroline dives into her Matt history. And Stefan’s fun because he’s such a fucking sap so I can get as dumb as I want. He has a scene in 17 where I’m like ‘jesus christ dude get a grip’. Damon’s my annoying son because he’s closed off as hell so I always have to keep his thoughts muted and on-the-brink-of-something. Bonnie probably comes the most easily. Anyway, there’s my response to a question that was never even asked.

“It was the elephant in the room, big and obvious and floating over their heads like a light-up blimp. None of this frothy, chit-chat matters, it read in a glitzy, scrolling marquee, waving its animatronic trunk, y’all are fake.” … Does it ever get exhausting? Knowing that you’re literally the best at this metaphorical imagery thingies that need an actual name so I can use it and throw it in your face like, look at this gabi, think about what you’ve done? I almost cut that out because I thought it would feel random! See? That was one of those ‘pause’ moments where I almost left it as ‘the elephant in the room’ and then was like ‘you can do better than that’, and then after I extended it I was like ‘that sounds weird as hell but whatever roll with it’. So roll with yours, girl!

“An awkward beat passed as they regarded each other in the bright, exposing overhead light”/ “the lighting too clinical for such a personal conversation”. So, recently, coupling physical and metaphorical description has really been my jam, and I am so totally digging this. I have this weird thing where I feel like the lighting has to be soft for intimate conversations and if it’s not I’m like not in the right headspace for it, looool. So I’m glad you’re weird about that with me!

“[Katherine] was tough. Cynical. Her arms would lock tightly around him, jaw set, damning the world and the fucked up people in it.” Nice glimpse at the infamous Katherine Pierce. Can’t wait for a possible cameo from her in the future. NYE! Hopefully. I might be overselling NYE.

“Melted, really, like a clock in a fucking Dali painting.” Ok so like, do you Google this shit or is your brain just going a million miles a minute, coming up with stellar ways of impressing us (me)? Like jfc Gabi, calm down. LOOOL okay that one was instinctive because I compare legit every melty thing to a Dali clock. My sister’s cat has no bones and liquifies into whatever space she inhabits and we call her a melted clock.

“Floaty, useless goddamn feathers” this is cute i’m fine

“The Tylers” mention: Tyler believes in love? Is Tyler a Stefan, and that’s why Defan gels? Does Tyler have a girlfriend or boyfriend or a something?!?!? How cute! I feel like the best way to describe Tyler is like… surprisingly well-adjusted. Like he definitely had some shitty things go down in his life (abusive dad), but he had a loving mom and an unexpected support system in Damon and Katherine and because of that, he’s grown up to be this easy-going, confident guy. He’s definitely got a wild streak because of Damon and Katherine, but even when he went out with them they always kept an eye on him, always kept him out of the real dangerous stuff. He grew up loved. So when it comes to romantic love, he’s a casual optimist about it. He’s not some heart-on-his-sleeve romantic, but he believes it’s out there. His issue is kind of that he gets along with everyone (one of those types), so no one’s really knocked him off his feet yet love-wise. “The Carolines”: oh shit, called out. I love that he can read her like a goddamn book even though they aren’t anything under the surface at all. Like that just shows how good he is at this. Yessss, love that interpretation. I kind of wanted to emphasize how much he has everyone pegged so that it would heighten the contrast to how much he keeps having to redefine Bonnie.

“She’d cracked his varnish”—nice—“so thoughtlessly, like it wasn’t something he relied on”—oh shit—“and for what?/ “For shits and giggles? To see if she could?” Like usually I can handle these lines I’m lying but how sad and fucked up is it that Damon thinks Bonnie was only kind to him for something. I totally understand his mindset (like get where he’s coming from), but jfc honey, Bonnie is the Hufflepuffiest (which kudos btw for using the house for both ships, nice nice, I’m honored on behalf of us honey-badgers) and she literally didn’t try to help for anything. He def. struggles with the idea of people being kind for no reason. AND YAS GIRL HONEY BADGERS UNITE! KINDNESS EVERYWHERE! YOU get some kindness. YOU get some kindness! ERRBODY IN DA CLUB GETTIN KINDNESS.

“He scoffed again, shaking his head—worry. Concern./ “Unwanted things.” CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS THE SHIT, MAN. All us writers out here (or just me idk) are screaming and, probably totally weeping.

“Her eyes looked a little buggy in her magnifying goggles, hair in a mess of curls, and instantly, unwantedly, he felt a bit of the cool distance warm right off him.” Oh silly boy. Like you can actually resist how adorable Bon-bon is. Also, love nerd!Bonnie, can she come back some more? I’m going to incorporate it into 17! I think. Lmao I will now.

“It means I don’t need you to fucking fix me.” Yikes, dude. I always worry that those mood-shift lines aren’t going to pack enough of a punch so I love when you single them out.

“One little emotion glitch”… It’s really interesting you put it this way. Stefonnie are all heartstrings and mush, and Daroline are very ones-and-zeros, very programmed­-and­-defined. And this ties into Kai’s “logic” speech, because while these no-strings-attached sillies think they can avoid what makes us all human, they’ve got another thing coming. These fools are just as sappy-feely as their romantic counterparts. TRUEFAX.COM I wanna change the story description to just that ^^ 

“Relax.” IF THAT SHIT ISN’T THE MOST ANNOYING THING EVER I HAVE NO IDEA HOW BONNIE DIDN’T DECK HIM RIGHT THERE. Not to call him out, but my boyfriend does this whenever I get worked up, and I’ve warned him, next time he tells me to relax, he’s getting hit. I literally read Damon’s “relax” in my bf’s voice, and I got so irritated. (Great job). I THINK YOU MEAN YOUR FIANCÉ WHHHAAAATTTTTT

“Your blood type was ‘tequila’.”

“Does that bother you” / “Not as much as it bothers you” OOOO GIRL EXPOSE HIM YAS another line I hoped packed a punch.

“Cat, is he lying?” lol when do they actually name her Never.

“Casually vibrant and loose” reminds me of sunshine for some reason. Sunshiny Caroline is my fav.

“Bonnie’s Caroline. Spirited. Brassy… A hell-raiser with a sparkling stare and a laugh like a bell.” Stefan, babe, stop.

“Badgering the witness!” LOL I’m using this in b&b, you’ve been warned, bye DO IT.

“Memory Lane was closed.”/ “Detour to Platonic Avenue”: good, good, keep it up. I love how they end up talking about it anyways? And it’s lowkey a daroline convo, but without a doubt, Damon would flirt it up, and it’d probably end in more sex, but these two goofballs I swear: “Told you I was the class skank”  and “it takes years of training” but also “No room left behind” “Nothing is good enough to make me forget about how much I hate heights” / “I am” OH SHIT IT’S GETTIN’ HOT IN HERE. But also????? Excellent example of what I was saying (re: daroline convo); Caroline lapsed into her natural, flirty confidence, not even realizing GIRL HOW AREN’T YOU REALIZING how something so saucy, that would naturally turn on Stefan, can’t be said so casually. HAHAHA honestly as I was writing that I was like ‘careful what you wish for steffy bear’ because like you said, that is natural Caroline. She’s confident, flirty, vibrant, etc, and if Stefan was already falling for the prickly, self-preserving version, how did he expect to survive this one, you know? I don’t approve of these characters’ dumb ass decisions I just write them.

“You’re Lawyer Dangerous-ing me, aren’t you?” and “Wow, I ruined you.” Love it. I feel like Kol pulled this shit on Caroline, and she lowkey trusts her brother, so she fell for things like this all the time. LOOOL Kol’s such a menace.

“You didn’t think you were Buttercup, did you?” / “That’s embarrassing”: I love sma Stefan so much. I liked tvd at one time, but that’s for another day lololol we’ve discussed this.

“Ugh, montage love” I’m sorry Gabi, are you in sma too? ya know every now and then I have to insert my frustration with how dumb everyone is.

“Was it real if the sun started to fade after a few years? Was it real if the gravity weakened and he had to struggle to stay in her atmosphere? Was it real if another planet got pulled in, too, one he could never see because it was always on the exact opposite side of her, moving in tandem with him, eclipsed by her glow?” Shit, girl. Like, go home already. Gah, thanks love. Another case of ‘pause. Think. You can do better.’ I’m telling you, you just have to roll with it!

“I don’t regret a second of that” oh Stefan, you lovesick fool

“I’m like a human Bermuda Triangle” love

“Just give him the Disney Prince look” and the process of him going through it, and him being like, “This is just my face” I’m dead.

“Danger Zone” lmfaoooooo, followed by “Whatever, Piss Pants”. Sounds like a classic Caroline x Kol moment Honestly, it was so nice to write them just having an easy convo, lololol. And TOTALLY a Care x Kol type exchange. Oh, Kol. I can’t wait to write him over the Christmas chapter(s). 

“Bonnie knew the ball was in her court to be the bigger person” to “…they all made her feel caught between telling him that everything was going to be okay and asking him if he wanted a gold fucking star.”/ “Unfortunately, the latter seemed to be winning out.” Okay, so I have to admit this: this “petty, four-year-old” Bamon is a little shamefully like me and my boyfriend. We’re like the diluted version of bamon in this fic. I’m the nerd/caring one, my bf is the cynical/well-read one, and we’re both petty af, and our form of affection is kinda like bamon’s back-and-forth. I mean, we’re not as fucked up at all, but idk, I see parts of our relationship in bamon, which is why they are otp does that mean I think ryan and I otp? maybe but I don’t like being gross. Anyways… FIANCÉ RYAN. CASS IS GETTING MARRIED Y’ALL. I OTP YOU GUYS ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US SO IT’S FINE.

“Must be depressing” / “Don’t worry about it” / “Just means it doesn’t matter” / “Because isn’t that the human way?” Ooooo this shit boils my blood this is the kind of crap ryan pulls sometimes omg but moreover, this baiting thing is so aggravating. Say what you want to say and be done with it! WEDDING BELLS AND RIIIINNNIIINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG LMAO literally any mention of you and Ryan’s going to bring that response out of me bye

“I mean, didn’t you tell me last night that your biggest fear is that something’s wrong with you and it’s only a matter of time before everyone else figures it out?” and Bonnie’s internal monologue “her head was caught in a hum as she tried to shake off the burn of hearing her biggest insecurity thrown in her face, casual, smug”. I got to admit, Gab, you really know how to write ‘em. Like I was literally hanging on every sentence like oh. My. GOD. DAMON WENT THERE.

Side Note: this whole scene had me all sorts of fucked up, and like damn girl, you really know how to write ‘em. Like I felt for Bonnie. Not in a personal way, but like having someone just throw your deepest fear in your face? Someone who you were just warming up to? Like shit.

GIRL thanks so much, that scene definitely took some tweaking. I always stress about those moments because it takes me so long to get a sense for exactly what kind of mood I built (cause I’m almost like… already in the mood when I start writing it so I don’t actually know if I built it or not? Like if someone who wasn’t me would feel it through the writing alone? Does that make sense? I always try to explain this and fail). But anyway, gah, so glad this pulled you in. Like it’s one thing to try and be funny and fail at it (my life) but for some reason it’s way more nerve-wracking to me to try and be dramatic/intense and fail at it. 

 Kai’s crème-bru-yay is like opening Pinterest and seeing the first promoted post lol.

Damon’s “would it kill you to stay for one dessert” and her “it might kill you”, which I translated to “I might kill you, you fucker” Exactly what it meant.

The Bon/Kid talk. Nice. I love how it parallels to the Care/Stef talk earlier (dunno if you did this on purpose?) Nope, but I’m going to pretend I’m put-together enough of an author to do things like that and say of course.

“I don’t even know what your vulnerabilities are, Damon!” Have you read Lee’s “Parachute” bamon fic. Damon asks, “Do I ever say anything I don’t mean?” and Bonnie says something like Uh yeah, you say whatever will bother people the most. That. That is so true, and I didn’t realize it until I read it in her fic. Noooo, I haven’t, but now I really need to!

He was a friggin’ serial killer and they’d played right into his game Jesus fucking Christ they were all going to di—I love how off the rails Bonnie’s thoughts are. Like she’s stilly lowkey pissy at Damon, but at the same time, she’s like we’re gonna die. LOL that’s why Bonnie’s the easiest for me to write, because I too am often balancing serious emotions with cracky off-the-rails thoughts. 

“I’m sorry but what the everloving fuck, dude?” So, first, amazing line lmfao; second, amazing scene, my friend. Damon, somehow, talking Kai down? Like who would have thought? “Not a good look, man.” I’m dead.

Jk that line is getting it’s own number. Just reading it makes me think that Damon must’ve said something like this to Tyler. Must have. Like, maybe Tyler’s talking about how he got into a fight at school, or maybe about how he screwed things up with a girl—idk idc, big brother!Damon is a good look. Toootally! I was 100% channeling big bro!Damon there, and I definitely hoped people would connect it back to Tyler. Tyler’s just someone that Damon wants better for, you know? Like him and Katherine take him along on their wild rides but like I said earlier, Damon definitely doesn’t want him to live the same kind of life or make the same kind of mistakes/sacrifices he’s made. So I can totally see him steering him off that path if he senses him heading down it. And just in general, so happy you liked that scene. It was one of the scenes I was most pumped for ‘cause I live for feels, and I thought it showed really cute sides of both Damon and Kai.

Kai’s fun fact about Dante, and Damon’s plain, “Bummer” lol.

Kai’s “Did you mean what you said earlier…thinking I was cool…?” I seriously don’t know how you made a serial killer adorable but how dare you :D

“Boyish, almost, like he was some angsty teen she’d walked in on listening to Britney Spears”, oops you did it again I’m hilarious my friend, you played with my heart for fantastic similes. Like, this one just epitomizes what you wanted it to, this sheepish, caught-in-the-moment-of-a-good-deed kinda thing. Like, Gabi, stop Yeeeesssss that was exactly what I wanted to get across but I wasn’t sure I got it across so YAY. Goes to show you. You never think that of your own stuff. Idk why this review response is turning into a giant PSA on cutting yourself some slack with your own writing but CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK WITH YOUR OWN WRITING PEOPLE.

‘you are so much more than you think you are, you piece of shit’—see, that’s my kind of “terms of endearment”. LOL mine too.

Caroline vs. Cat, illustrated by “Are you trying to die?” is very much like me vs. a cat except I’m super allergic, so I’m doing the dying LOOOOOL love ya, Cas.

“Stefan!” She blustered out of her room with a scowl, padding down the hallway in Bonnie’s too-small Gryffindor slippers. First off, Caroline calling Stefan. Secondly, Caroline calling Stefan to be a meditator between her and the cat. Thirdly, why does Bonnie had Gryffindor slippers if she is clearly (eh) Hufflepuff (she could easily be Ravenclaw tbh). LMAO so I made them Hufflepuff at first and then I remembered Bonnie had a Gryffindor shirt and I thought it’d be funny for her to just randomly have paraphernalia from every house because she can’t decide who she is and goes through phases where she’s super convinced she’s one house and then it changes a few months later.

“Tide of amusement”/ “Wash of endearment”: teach me your wayssss I read that as ‘teach me your waaaavvveeesss’ we’re both hilarious

“Saint Stefan”: I really like (and appreciate) that Caroline is the one calling him this. That it’s not some jealous brother, but some girl who blatantly misunderstood him and is coming to the conclusion that maybe this savior complex isn’t as bad/ingrained as she thought. Honestly even just reading ‘jealous brother’ gave me such TVD PTSD. Gross. I’m with ya, girl. 

Stefan’s advice, “Dazzle him with that Rebekah charm” literally is the most Dad thing I’ve ever seen lmao

“Demon.” / “Demons everywhere.” Lolololololol

“Do your thing. Give me the sisterhood spiel or whatever Hallmark collection it was you were planning on plagiarizing.” Well shit. I’d probably pay to hear Damon and Rebekah’s verbal sparring. LMAO Damon vs. Rebekah would be amazing. I feel like they’d be fast friends, which makes me laugh because Kol would totally idolize Damon and yet him and Rebekah would loathe each other.

“But more importantly… Tiffany will be social media stalking you every inch of the way, seething with jealousy, so take a lot of pictures.” I love how she gives the realest advice, and then brings it to Rebekah’s level lol. I feel like big sister!Caroline is something we were deprived of and didn’t know it. Hahaha you know Rebekah would totally ignore that shit if it didn’t circle back to making her nemesis miserable. But sister!Caroline is definitely something I want to do more of, so I’m so happy you liked that side. Christmas time will give her and Kol some quality time (and Mama Liz!)

“I’m going to need some tea,” she says lmao.

 Oh this is the thing I was talking about when I referred to Lee’s fic: “he’d know before he’d even opened his mouth that he was going to hate what came out” and “why the hell had he even gone there? He could’ve just told her he needed space”. Very similar. You guys had the same revelation. That’s rad - I definitely have to go read her fic. Lee’s writing is always brilliant.

“Unfortunately, the hole he’d just managed to dig himself into had an echo, and the only sound in it was the disbelieving crack in Bonnie’s voice when she’d confronted him about bring up her parents.” Right in the heart.

“But maybe she thought he was a megadouche” he cares what she thinks! “Maybe she was waiting for him to prove that he wasn’t.”

“You missed a spot” / “A harsh spray of water cut him off from the pull-out faucet she’d shot straight at him”—if this petty shit isn’t me & ryan CAS AND RYAN ARE GETTING MARRIEDDDDDDDDDD

“And mean.” I love that tack on, it’s so childish, but epitomizes how she can’t even stay mad at him. “Very, very mean.” Their childish bits are my favorite parts to write. It’s in full-swing in 17.

 “I just had a really shitty week last week.” Oooo glimpse into the past. Like Bonnie’s with the Enzo/Klaus mention. More of that ahead!

“And don’t stop calling me kid.” / “It’s cute and I like it.” Can they just kiss and be together already omg You would think but everyone in this story is stupid.

“And he was struck by the most bizarre impulse to kiss her” see, even Damon knows!!!!

The “pep rally” / “I was actually a cheerleader for a bit in college” convo. Classic Bamon

 “Try not to do anything secretly heroic while I’m gone.”

“Maybe he was allergic to pep” / “maybe he was high on it” Damon and Bonnie sitting in a tree… D-E-N-Y-I-N-G

THE ALMOST STEROLINE NAME DROP I WAS ACTUALLY GRINNING LIKE A MORON WHEN I READ THIS MUAHAHA it was so stupid and I cackled writing it.

“I think I need to talk about Matt”/ “And I think you should probably tell me about Elena”. What? Caroline Forbes is talking about exes? Is doing something healthy that’ll further her relationship with Stefan? THERE IS SO MUCH PRIDE IN MY HEART – Also, I think this was a great way to end the chapter ‘cause it’s super cliffhanger and also super like a tvd episode, you know? Great, excellent, fantastic job! RIGHT? LOOK AT HER GO! She’s ready to confront some things! And because I took six months to reply to this and have the benefit of actually having the scene written now, I can tell you that she’s really going there. Saying things she’s never said out loud. It’s a hard scene for her. But she’s determined. So it makes me so happy that you’re proud of her (I’m proud of her!), and hopefully the next chapter will make it a little clearer why she is the way she is (and why it took her this long to get there). Also, YAY for show-like endings! You know that’s what I’m going for ;) TBH that’s a large reason why the chapters have gotten so long - I want like a whole episode in a chapter with a beginning, middle, and end, and I want them to set up a story for the next one, and for four central characters that usually ends up taking me about 8-10 scenes, loool. So I’m glad you like it that way, too ;)

Okay, so this is longer than I hoped, but I’m sure you won’t mind. Take your mind off med school, off the whole moving thing. Anyways, thanks a bazillion for being this awesome author that interacts with her audience, who puts at least 1000% percent into this fic when, really, you don’t gotta, and ya know… thanks for fulfilling the need everyone has seen tvd died (there were only 6 seasons right?)

Definitely only six seasons. And girl, psh, thank you for making all of the things you listed above worth it. Seriously. You guys make writing this story a legitimate joy - I literally have you in mind when I write. I anticipate who’s going to like what. Whose going to have a problem with what. And it makes me a better writer. Seriously. Anyway, you’re as lovely and witty and talented and kind and weird and wonderful as ever and I expect detailed updates on you and Ryan’s royal wedding every week and NEVER EVER APOLOGIZE AGAIN FOR WRITING A LONG REVIEW WHO ARE YOU KIDDING YOU’RE MY SUN AND I’VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT I’LL SAY IT AGAIN IT TAKES ME FOREVER TO RESPOND BECAUSE I LEGIT CAN’T THINK OF A REPLY THAT’S WORTHY SOOOOO THANKS FOR MAKING MY LIFE K BYEEEEE

[meandmyperson]

so “bust your windows” has definitely been on a solid repeat because it has so many fuckin bangers in there. it’s always nice to be able to let the hatred flow through you while also doing a couple salsa spins and hip twirls. today I’m really feeling the part that says “I didn’t know that I had that much strength, but I’m glad you see what happens when you see you can’t just play with peoples feelings: tell them you love them, and don’t mean it...” yes sis. these bastards bout to learn.

so last night/this morning/god damn I need sleep, I did realize that if I’m going to beat this evilness, I have to confront it! I was hoping it would work like the silly crushes I get where once I start to talk about it and take a closer look, it quickly turns into no thank you please. so I started exploring my options.

yesterday when I was telling him about himself as all of my findings slapped me in the face at once, my beautiful princess Cassie advised that nothing I could say to him would hurt him. she’s right cuz he’s already made it clear plenty of times that he doesn’t give a fuck. but that was for me. and so the question then was, how can I hurt him. and I found the answer at the hotel he had his wedding reception in. look at god. I’ve never seen him tighten like he did when he thought his wife might have discovered his filth.

so I finally looked at the damn Facebook and I thought it was gonna be way worse then it was. that otherwise beautiful family photo (I only ever got the ones of the kids) made me dry heave a bit but again, I was expecting something more like immediate violence. this is kind of a thing you decide about on a Sunday afternoon, not in the middle of any night. so I just looked. and then I took a nap.

and when I got up to do my day I thought some more. and I’m having a lot of fun with the options lmao. I could mail her a letter. like a detailed and lengthy one about how she just deserves to know what kind of man she’s spending her life with and blazé fuckin blah. or I could just write a couple sentences and let them have it from there. “ask your husband who loveball is. and then if you have any other questions, ask him for my number. I gotchu girl.” but a letter could be intercepted easily. and I might never know that it was received. my bestfriend said I should 100% write a note but to also send her a crystal with it. that shit cracked me up.

so I went to the witch store to see if there was anything that would sway me away from all this. cuz I know he’s gonna get all of the plague he deserves, but it’s best if I just let the universe take care of it. that backfired. I got some good gifts for a friend but also there were all sorts of things for altars and there were voodoo dolls too. my kid says that voodoo dolls are 10/10 recommend. so I asked my bestfriend for help with black magic and we’re both clueless but she’s so down to help me do whatever I need to do. love her.

Huda told me to go in peace. she said there’s nothing worse than letting a man put me out of myself. shes right about this. this isn’t me. usually I can take responsibility and hold my L’s in silence. fool me once, shame on me. fool me twice, you should have thought long and hard about that shit. that might just be how that has to go this time.

what I really want is a settlement. doesn’t that sound amazing? like because do y’all know how much stuff I could have had if I used him the way he used me instead of trying to love him? like, how much is his marriage worth to him? or really... how much does divorce cost. I think it costs rich people more so hush money seems like the discounted route fersure. 15k is good for me. 10k is more like he better hope I’m not a liar too. but my wise council (thats cassie again) has advised that blackmail is illegal, so I can’t say that to him. darn.

so. that’s where we are rn. me and all my personalities. I don’t like but I didn’t cause it so... I’m gonna pack, and roll a fat ass blunt, and we’ll see where my head is at tomorrow.

[sunfoxen]

top 3 marvel movies and why?

well that’s a hard one cause my top 3 fluctuate depending on my mood/fav character xD

Non official MCU movies: Logan and Venom and Deadpool 2.

MCU movies: this gets harder. BUT. as of right now.

Ant Man and the Wasp -- UNDER-fucking-RATED. Scott is so good and soft and Hope is fucking badass and Ghost was a sympathetic ‘villain’ and CASSIE and Scott’s relationship with Maggie and Jim and WOO and just. it’s FUN and GOOD. the first ant man is also highly underrated for the same reasons.

Thor Ragnarok -- ALSO FUN AND GOOD. Bruce has an actual part! Hulk has a personality! THOR. I love Thor so much in this movie okay. Brunnhilde...i’d die for her. I actually really liked Loki, too! Hela, our first female villain and she was GREAT. loved the music so much and the COLORS. the humor was top notch.

Guardians of the Galaxy -- these guys aren’t quiet antiheroes but they sure aren’t typical heroes, either! I’m a sucker for dysfunctional characters becoming found family. the sound track is kickass, the colors are amazing. it’s FUN. My mother loves it too which is nice cause i can watch it with her. she adores groot which is in turn, adorable. 

Runners up: spiderman:homecoming and iron man.

i’m not saying i don’t love Black Panther or Winter Soldier or Infinity War or any of the other ‘heavier’ mcu movies....but right now i’m TIRED and the lighter, funnier, more easy going movies are where it’s at for me rn. 

except for the non MCU movies, in which case you have a story about found family and taking out abusers and talking about trauma, you have Logan which is just...an emotional ride and AGAIN found family and Laura is just...i love her, and then you have venom and i’m sure i don’t need to explain that one to anyone at this point in time BUT :found family, eating the bad/rich, alien rom com.