#but david’s evil is uncomfortably real

[aj-lenoire]

david didn’t become a preacher after the world ended because he found god. no one needed teachers anymore, no one was sending their kids off to school to learn math. the only way he could keep power and authority—and specifically power and authority over children—was by turning himself into a holy man.

[bootleg-nessie]

Rating the Accuracy of Animal Names:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

Marine Iguana: 1/10. They don’t allow lizards in the military

Honey Badger: 1/10. It’s not even made out of honey

Horny toad: 0/10. First of all, this is a lizard. Second of all, I couldn’t find one that was willing to have sex with me so they must not actually be all that horny

Crabeater seal: 1/10. They don’t even eat crabs. Felt uncomfortable asking about the other kind but I’d guess probably not those either

Comb jellyfish: 4/10. Doesn’t even have hair

Hammerhead shark: 10/10. Stop killing hammerhead sharks to make hammers

Paper nautilus: 1/10. Paper would get too soggy

Red Panda: 2/10. Not a panda. More orange than red

Jellyfish: 0/10. Not even a fish, but if it were, jelly would be one of the worst things to be made out of

Electric eel: 5/10. Not an eel. Shocking, I know

Blue footed booby: 2/10. My disappointment is immeasurable. Turns out this lying sack of shit is a just a stupid BIRD

Spiny lumpsucker: 8/10. Apparently this fish is named because it has spines AND a suction cup, not because it sucks on spiny lumps

Pleasing fungus beetle: 2/10. Why would fungus be pleased by a beetle eating it? It just worked so hard to grow

Chicken turtle: 1/10. This is just a regular turtle, there are no chickens involved

Red lipped batfish: 8/10. Not a bat. Does have red lips. Also looks incredibly sexy with that makeup on

Aye aye: 10/10. Does in fact, have two eyes

Blobfish: 10/10 out of water, 1/10 in water. The blobfish gets a bad rap, it only looks like a blob because some dickhead pulled it out of its natural habitat at the bottom of the fucking ocean. You’d look pretty weird if you switched places with them too

Dik dik: 5/10 if male, 0/10 if female. This one’s pretty self explanatory

Mountain chicken: 0/10. THIS IS A FUCKING FROG. STOP NAMING ANIMALS AFTER CHICKENS!

Peacock: 0/10. It pees out of a cloaca, not a cock. Technically it doesn’t even pee either

Monarch butterfly 1/10. They aren’t even one of the species of insects that has a queen, let alone understands the concept of monarchism

Cockatiel: 0/10. They do not have teal cocks

Monkey slug caterpillars: 1/10. These are neither slugs nor monkeys, nor are they some kind of fucked up monkey/slug hybrid. Terrible name all around, the only part they got right was caterpillar

Robin: 5/10. It’s a shame this bird has to resort to thievery but we all have to put worms on the table somehow

Alligator snapping turtle: 1/10. This is not an alligator, nor does it even have the fingers to snap with

Ground squirrel: 5/10. Please don’t grind squirrels

Axolotl: 0/10. Doesn’t ask a lot. Doesn’t ask anything at all

Sea robin: 7/10 This is what happens when the land robin goes pro. This creepy fuck evolved little fingers just to steal things. Is this where fish fingers come from?

Tasmanian devil: 8/10. Much like the christian devil, cool name and way more chill than most people give them credit for. Statistically speaking, they’re far from the deadliest player on the board, but they do have the strongest bite force and won’t hesitate to use it if provoked

Water deer: 7/10. No. This is a meat deer

Star nosed mole: 7/10. Name is somewhat misleading, nose merely star shaped, and not a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace

Paddlefish: 3/10. Too narrow to effectively be used as a paddle

Shoebill stork: 1/10. Not made of real shoes. Doesn’t pay bills either

Great white shark: 8/10. I’m inclined to agree for the most part but who came up with the name, David Duke?

Bioko drill: 0/10. At least the hammerhead shark looks like a hammer, this stupid monkey doesn’t even remotely resemble a drill

Hippo Tang: 0/10. That’s a fish, and hippos don’t even drink Tang

Bluejay: 3/10. Not actually blue, it’s just a trick of the light. I bet their real name probably isn’t even Jay either

Satanic Nightjar: 4/10. Should be called “slightly evil looking bird” instead

Tarantula hawk wasp: 1/10. Not a tarantula. Not a hawk. Starting to question if it’s even a wasp

Goblin shark: 10/10? Ever seen their jaw move? They sure are gobblin’

Nudibranch: 5/10. The nude part is accurate but it’s a sea slug, not a tree branch. Not even sure how you could possibly make that mistake

Mongoose: 0/10. No mon, it’s not a goose

Bison: 7/10. I just googled it, bison have more gay sex than straight sex so calling them bi is actually pretty accurate. Points removed because there are bidaughters too

Ram: 10/10. They sure do!

Mandrill: 2/10. They could probably be taught to use drills but I couldn’t find any research on this

Silver fox: 1/10. Silver is way too heavy of an element for an animal to be made of

Mayfly: 9/10 Yeah, they might

Fin whale: 10/10. Yep, whales have fins. Glad we cleared that up

Macaroni penguin: 1/10. They don’t eat macaroni

Horseshoe crab: 0/10. Not a crab. Doesn’t wear horseshoes either

Fangtooth: 10/10. Objectively I have to give it a 10 but this is the stupidest fucking name on the whole list. What’s next, knucklefist? Titboob?

Milkfish 1/10. If I go to your house and you offer me fish milk I’m fucking leaving

Little penguin: 10/10. Telling it exactly like it is

Spider monkey: 1/10. Was expecting a monkey with 8 limbs. Let down once again

Glass frog: 2/10. Not actually made out of glass

Hummingbird: 1/10. They can’t even hum

Centipede: 3-35.4/10. Depends on the species, very few actually have 100 legs

Millipede: 0.8-8/10. They have 800 legs at the most

Sockeye salmon: 1/10. Socks would make terrible eyes

Furry lobster: 10/10, 11/10 if that’s a fursuit

Flying fish: 4/10. Merely glides

Sailfish: 3/10. Doesn’t actually know how to sail

Blanket octopus: 2/10. Octopuses make terrible blankets

Cane Toad: 2/10. Can walk just fine without a cane

[rassilon-imprimatur]

The "Missing Piece" of the Fire Walk With Me convenience store scene is my favorite "supernatural" sequence in all of Twin Peaks. I adore how it’s spliced and edited in the actual film, it’s so scary (robbed of logic, devoid of sense, spilling into the FBI office and interrupting David Bowie's ramblings, a sensory nightmare of TV static), but the full deleted scene is so rich, a real treasure trove of so much of The Return (specifically Part 8), where so many of those ideas were forming. And just like everything Lynch, it’s always just short of being straightforward or literal, especially compared to the full scripted scene. 

The Black Lodge spirits reflect and discuss, so much as they can with each other, the state of their current existence, transformed from electric currents in the air to "animal life" garmonbozia carnivores.

In the script, it’s apparent they are more blatantly talking about (what would later be specified to be) the Trinity Test. "The light of new discoveries." “Why not be composed of materials and combinations of atoms?” "This was no accident."

(Notice also, the Man from Another Place is credited as Mike. This is before Cooper and Sheriff Truman met Phillip Gerard, before Mike “saw the face of God” and tried to reform his ways and act against BOB, before severing his arm and forming the Arm as we know it. This is Mike as pure evil, Mike is the Man from Another Place). 

(“Mike IS the Man.”)

It’s also more clear in the script (”clear” is a term I use loosely, lmao) what exactly is meant by the Man From Another Place/Mike’s formica table bit, as the filmed version renders the Woodsmen (and their responses) silent. 

The focus on formica is lesser. These creatures, both brand new (”descended” from the Trinity test) and ancient (“Any everything will proceed cyclically.”/“Is it future? Or is it past?”) embrace images of modernity, images of mass production, totems and icons of post-war American industry. But green is the major focus. “Green, the color green. Our world.” 

Just like the later scenes of the convenience store in The Return, the place is merely a perceptual manifestation of the thick, dark, haunted, green forestry of nature. The “dark woods” of Romanticism and sinister folklore, now bordered and interwoven with cities, towns, and endless electrical wires. 

“With chrome. Any everything will proceed cyclically.” What is future. What is past. 

Mrs. Tremond’s line in response to the discussion about the Trinity test in the script being cut from the filmed version is interesting, because if anything her “Actually I Dunno, Maybe We Can Work With This? Being Animal Life” response seems... in tune with what we know about her and her grandson? 

In Fire Walk With Me, the pair appear to be disgusted or distraught by the garmonbozia harvesting of BOB and Mike (and as we know, Mike comes to agree with them, even as he still hungers for it). They help Laura, are benevolent to her, try to give her a way out in the only (uncomfortably scary) ways that they can. And as we know from Twin Peaks itself, by the time of Donna’s encounter, Mrs. Tremond was actively fasting from “creamed corn.” 

Mike once referred to BOB as his “familiar.” This moment, BOB declaring “I DO WHAT I WANT, I HAVE THE POWER!” is a moment of Mike faltering in his own trust in controlling BOB’s evil. 

“Find the middle place.” The waiting room. The Red Room. The momentum roars and begins, in proper, its path to Laura. 

“Fell a victim” in response to BOB’s prideful growl of his power. “He has murdered someone. He will murder again.” 

[crossovershipstournament]

Crossover Ships Tournament Contestants

Alright, after putting it off for a bit (due to real life being busy and also I got lazy), I’ve finally gone through and prepared the list of ships for the tournament! Congrats to the lucky 64, and apologies to anyone else whose ship didn’t make it in. I did appreciate every single entry that followed the rules, though, and all the infodumps made me smile!

Before the list, however, I wanna say that this post and the eventual bracket matchup post are going to double as places to post your propaganda via replies and reblogs (or even asks). Going forward, I will use whatever propaganda people add to the posts/send via asks with permission to add as propaganda on the eventual bracket matches. By adding any sort of replies/tags/etc to any further tournament-related posts, you are consenting to having that propaganda added into the tournament. If you are uncomfortable with this, please state it outright on any posts/asks you might send.

Also the rule about fanart for the ships still remains; if you send/provide fanart, please also provide explicit permission from the original artist or proof that you made it yourself. Otherwise, I will not feel comfortable using it in the tournament.

With all that said, let’s meet our 64 ships for the tournament! Please let me know if anything is misspelled or any information is incorrect:

Bayonetta (Bayonetta)/Palutena (Kid Icarus)

Beastman (Masters of the Universe)/Lifeweaver (Overwatch 2)

Ben Tennyson (Ben 10)/Rex Salazar (Generator Rex)

Chibiusa (Sailor Moon)/Kid Trunks Briefs (Dragon Ball Z)

Damian Wayne (DC Comics)/Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug)

Dib Membrane (Invader Zim)/Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)

Dimentio (Super Paper Mario)/Jevil (Deltarune)

Ash Williams (Evil Dead)/Crawford Tillinghast (From Beyond)

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (How To Train Your Dragon)/Jack Frost (Rise of the Guardians)

Isabelle (Animal Crossing)/Wolf O’Donnell (StarFox)

Jake Long (American Dragon: Jake Long)/Juniper Lee (The Life and Times of Juniper Lee)

JD (Heathers the Musical)/Nathan Prescott (Life is Strange)

Jigglypuff (Pokemon)/Kirby (Kirby)

Johnny Bravo (Johnny Bravo)/Samurai Jack (Samurai Jack)

Leonardo Hamato (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)/Yuichi Usagi (Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles)

Michelangelo Hamato (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)/Miles Morales (Marvel)

Reagan Ridley (Inside Job)/Toriel Dreemur (Undertale)

Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera (Ducktales 2017)/Clover Ebi (RWBY)

Gyro Gearloose (Ducktales 2017)/Hazel Rainart (RWBY)

Gandra Dee (Ducktales 2017)/Winter Schnee (RWBY)

Dewey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Whitley Schnee (RWBY)

Mogar (Xray and Vav)/David (Camp Camp)

Jimmy Neutron (Jimmy Neutron)/Timmy Turner (Fairly Oddparents)

Jane Porter (Tarzan)/Captain Amelia (Treasure Planet)

Max Goof (Disney)/Yakko Warner (Animaniacs)

Huey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Wakko Warner (Animaniacs)

Dewey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Silver the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Wirt (Over the Garden Wall)/Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)

Webby Vanderquack (Ducktales 2017)/Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls)

Max (Camp Camp)/Phineas Flynn (Phineas and Ferb)

Sora (Kingdom Hearts)/Jim Hawkins (Treasure Planet)

Angus McDonald (The Adventure Zone)/Shigeo Kageyama (Mob) (Mob Psycho 100)

Anne Boonchuy (Amphibia)/Nepeta Leijon (Homestuck)

Applejack (My Little Pony)/Hol Horse (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders)

Aqua (Kingdom Hearts)/Cinderella (Cinderella)

Commander Peepers (Wander Over Yonder)/Wilt Michaels (Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends)

Ditzy Doo (My Little Pony)/The Doctor (Doctor Who)

Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio)/Timothy Q. Mouse (Dumbo)

Sam Winchester (Supernatural)/Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)

Bowser (Super Mario)/Dr. Eggman (Sonic)

Kokichi Ouma (Danganronpa)/Venti (Genshin Impact)

Charlie Bradbury (Supernatural)/Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

Alex Mercer (Prototype)/Desmond Miles (Assassin’s Creed)

Adrien Agreste aka Chat Noir (Miraculous Ladybug)/Berry Shirayuki aka Mew Berry (Tokyo Mew Mew)

Pinkie Pie (My Little Pony)/Shockwave (Transformers Prime)

Floyd Leech (Twisted Wonderland)/Kanata Shinkai (Ensemble Stars)

Skales (Lego Ninjago)/Starscream (Transformers Prime)

Selina Kyle aka Catwoman (DC Comics)/Loki (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Phone Guy (Five Nights at Freddy’s)/Wally Franks (Bendy and the Ink Machine)

Megaman (Megaman)/Pit (Kid Icarus)

Merida (Brave)/Rapunzel (Tangled)

Ange Ushiromiya (Umineko no Naku Koro Ni)/Rin Tohsaka (Fate/Stay Night)

Bendy (Bendy and the Ink Machine)/Cuphead (Cuphead)

Luca Paguro (Luca)/Maisie Brumble (The Sea Beast)

Princess Peach (Super Mario)/Samus Aran (Metroid)

Blossom Utonium (Powerpuff Girls)/Dexter (Dexter’s Laboratory)

Daffy Duck (Looney Toons)/Donald Duck (Disney)

Kefer (Egyxos)/Dragon Shiryu (Knights of the Zodiac)

Gaz Membrane (Invader Zim)/Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls)

Gregor (Star Wars the Clone Wars)/Harley Quinn (DC Comics)

Sally “Thorn” McKnight (Scooby Doo Franchise)/Skwisgaar Skwigelf (Metalocalypse)

Astro Tenma (Astro Boy (2009))/Wilbur Robinson (Meet The Robinsons)

Apollo (Percy Jackson)/Clark Kent aka Superman (Superman)

Madoka Kaname (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)/Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

[superectojazzmage]

What was is that Cates was trying to do in his run, but failed at?

So basically, back during the whole Secret Empire period of Marvel, Donny Cates and Al Ewing both pitched ideas for big Hulk runs at the same time. Ewing’s pitch was a horror saga that eventually became Immortal Hulk. Cates’ run was his Smashtronaut story about “the Hulk’s Hulk”/an evil darkness entity and Bruce and Hulk having a super-adversarial relationship where they’re straight up enemies. Editorial basically made a compromise where Ewing could do his pitch first, and once he was done, Cates could do his if he still wanted to. So Ewing did Immortal Hulk, and Cates went off and did his Venom run (where he ended up using a number of ideas from his Hulk pitch; this is suspected to be where Knull originated from).

Immortal Hulk, of course, went on to be a massive hit and one of the greatest runs on Hulk ever, a series-defining run on the level of Peter David and Greg Pak’s work. It completely upended the status quo of Hulk and went in bold and insane new directions that really reinvigorated a series that had been badly stagnating. Ewing left the book hailed as one of the best Hulk writers ever.

So Cates had a pretty high bar to clear. And instead of reworking his old pitch to account for the changes brought on by Immortal… he just said “fuck it” and tried to do his pitch EXACTLY as he originally planned it, without regard for anything that happened in Immortal, and when he rarely did acknowledge Ewing’s work, is was in a very quick and dirty way that didn’t jive at all with how Immortal ended.

More than that, Cates’ run was SUPPOSED to be, apparently, a very dark and edgy sci-fi adventure kind of story that essentially raised questions about which personality was the real monster, Hulk or Banner, while also taking Hulk on a crazy cosmic journey. Cates seemed to really think he was breaking new ground. But he wasn’t. His run, particularly coming off the truly daring Immortal Hulk, was extremely derivative of better prior runs (an evil Hulk personality just like Paul Jenkins, going to space like Greg Pak, etc.) and showed a deep misunderstanding of the characters and prior lore, sometimes in deeply uncomfortable ways (Bruce’s especially vicious relationship with Savage Hulk in Cates’ run was clearly written without realizing that the previous runs REALLY drove home that Savage is LITERALLY a kid; turning Cates’ Bruce from a man at the end of his rope into a horrific abuser exploiting his power to torment an innocent child who — in the very previous run — had made peace with Bruce and risked his life to save him). It was an attempt to do something crazy and new that instead felt like a massive step backwards for the book. And that was before Cates’ crumbling personal life led to him struggling to keep writing and eventually having to step away early.

Philip Kennedy Johnson’s new run seems to be doing a vaguely similarish premise to Cates’ — Bruce and Hulk as enemies — but is doing it in a radically different and much more well-written way while being much more thematically and continuity-wise linked to Immortal Hulk, not only returning to the horror vibe of Immortal and picking up that run’s hanging threads and sequel hooks, but also all but ignoring Cates’ run. PKJ is essentially doing what Cates should’ve done and just picking up where Immortal Hulk left off while telling a genuinely new and unique story unlike anything Hulk has done before.

[imsuchagoddamnnerd]

*.✧ Requests ✧.*

Status:open

Note

I’ve never in my life used tumblr to post on. I can barely work a cell phone and I’m supposed to be from the more tech savvy generation. I apologize if this looks like shit. If anyone has tips to make it look good that would be real appreciated.

Also. There will eventually be smut on here so if you ain’t matte enough to read it. Just don’t. There will be fluff too but if you’re too young. Don’t read the smut.

When requesting it would be greatly appreciated if you gave a small plot summary/idea or prompt. It makes it easier for me and I feel it makes it more interactive for you all :)

Will do:

Most things including, Fluff, Smut, angst, fantasy, modern, horror(I’ll try), soul mates, oc stuff , x reader, canon x canon. All gender pairings, slashers, monsters, etc.

Will not:

underage characters, incest, pedophilia, homophobia, racism, abuse, scat/urine, infantilism.

Even if something isn’t on this list, I still have a right to decline writing something if it makes me uncomfortable.

✎Fandoms✎

Life is strange

Chloe Price, Rachel Amber, Kate Marsh, Nathan Prescott, Victoria Chase, Warren Graham, Mark Jefferson, Frank Bowers. Sean Diaz, Cassidy, Finn McNamara, Penny. Skip Matthews. Alex Chen, Gabe Chen, Ryan Lucan, Steph Gingrich. Others if requested.

Detroit: Become Human

Connor, Kara, Markus. Hank Anderson, Elijah Kamski, Gavin Reed, Rose Chapman, Josh, Lucy, Luther, Simon, Leo Manfred, North, Perkins, RK900, Ralph.

Fallout 4

Cait, Nick Valentine, Paladin Danse, Robert MacReady, Curie, John Hancock, Deacon, Piper Wright, Preston Garvey, Sturges, Strong.

Resident Evil 8

Alcina Dimitrescu, Karl Heisenberg, Donna Benneviento, Salvatore Moreau.

The Last of Us

Joel Miller, Ellie Williams(pt2), Tommy Miller, Bill(MxM only), Tess, Henry. Haven’t played much of Part 2 yet.

The Walking Dead Game

Lee, Clem(aged up), Kenny, Doug, Carley, Lilly, Ben. Nick, Luke, Bonnie, Jane, Mike. Javier, David, Kate, Eleanor, Tripp, Ava, Paul aka “Jesus”. Louis, Violet, Ruby, Mitch, Marlon, James.

The Walking Dead TV Series

Too many to list. I’ll do the main cast. Any others will be by request.

This is taking a long time. I’m not listing all the characters from here on. Just assume I’ll know them on request. I’ve been working on this for like three hours.

Red Dead Redemption

Legend of Zelda

Botw, Totk, others on request

Stardew Valley

The Hobbit

Pokemon

Avatar(James Cameron)

Avatar(The Last Airbender)

Skyrim

FrostBite, John Doe, etc.

Slashers(Michael Myers, Ghostface, Leatherface, Brahms, etc)

Demon Slayer

Doctor Who

Supernatural

OC Content:

Fantasy(modern or medieval). Zombie apocalypse. Cryptids. I might even do some OC design requests and stuff eventually.

Please I’m begging y’all to request something. Anything. Please. I’m not 100% sure how commenting or whatever works, but please just request anything. Idk how to set up a request button so just commenting works

[ama-factkin]

i understand why people are against factkin when it comes to recently alive people or currently alive people. not that I think it can be controlled but some people need to seriously stop glorifying and putting certain sources out there so publicly at the least. But all arguments against factkin fall apart when you think about it in the context of ancient historical figures, people who died over a thousand years ago have no real effect on the people alive today and it's hard to claim it's disrespectful because what we know about said figures beyond that point is likely a caricature and we'll never know how they truly were and what truly happened in their life. So I DONT understand the absolutely-no-factkin attitude in the wider kin community. No matter what you believe there's sections of this community that are entirely harmless and respectful, so why do people act like it's evil?

There is no point in drawing lines as to which factkin are acceptable and which ones are not. Kintypes do not equal behaviour. They can influence it, sure, but at the end of the day peoeple are responsible for their own actions.

Speaking as someone who has a medieval kintype, a Victorian kintype, a Renaissance kintype, a recently deceased kintype and a kintype that is currently alive: I don't understand why people are uncomfortable with some of my kintypes and not others. I mean, I understand that there is a reason given. It's the reason that makes no sense to me.

If I can be Peter III of Aragon, who lived in the 1200's, I can be Eminem. The situation is not actually that different. Yes, it is different in that one is alive and one is not, but these are both famous people who have lived in this universe whom I identify as on a spiritual level and will never personally meet. If I did hypothetically meet either of them would I tell them that I'm factkin? No! Marshall Mathers would definitely think it was weird and Peter would probably have me executed for claiming to be him (the king) because he wouldn't understand what the words "factkin" and "multiverse" mean! The stipulation that "only dead factkin are okay" makes no sense to me because these two identities feel the exact same to me and I am not doing anything to hurt anyone regardless!

The other reason this stipulation makes no sense to me is the fact that who is alive and who is dead changes literally every minute. At the risk of sounding insensitive: I am David Bowie and as of 2016 he is dead. Was it "wrong" for me to be David Bowie prior to his death? Is it okay now? At what time does it become okay? Some people say "it's not okay because his relatives could be upset by it" but then I'd like to bring up Edgar Allan Poe! His descendants are still alive. Am I hurting them? I can't see how I would be: I don't know who they are and they don't know who I am.

I understand that people feel differently about different parts of the factkin community but it seems like so many people draw lines arbitrarily. People are individuals and a having a kintype does not make you a bad person. Likewise, a kintype is not an excuse for bad behaviour. Remember: most factkin aren't stalkers and most stalkers aren't factkin. Is there a small population of that venn diagram that overlaps? Probably. You know what other venn diagram overlaps? People who eat lobster and stalkers. People who make furniture and stalkers. Correlation is not causation. Just because there is a population that does both things does not mean one causes the other.

In my mind there is no viable reason to support some parts of the factkin community and not others. No kintype is "evil" because being otherkin is not an action with moral weight.

Thank you for the ask!

[periru3]

Festivids Rec List, But Make It Horny (part 2)

This is part two of my horny festivids rec list I felt compelled to make for some reason. You can find part 1 here.

8. Alone With You Inside My Mind (Doctor Sleep) Unlike the Bound vids and Janelle Monáe vids, I had to put this one very far from the other Rebecca Ferguson thirst vid on accounts of that one being about a person being hot and this one being about a child-eating monster being hot. Yes, this is a (freaking hysterical) crack vid about Rose the Hat saying “hi there” a bunch, but also it’s legitimately spooky and sexy at the same time, which is quite a feat. Anyway this one is at #8 because no matter how normal she looks, this is still a monster-fucker vid. And that is good. 7. Put on a Show (Wheel of Time) Another vid where I very much do not know what’s going on, but the femdom energy here is off the charts. There’s choking, there’s tying boys up while you sit in a throne and look down on them, there’s blowing things up with magic, and there’s a hell of a lot of whoever this lady is walking around looking imperious and hot. Whatever these folks have going on, it’s more than enough to land them in the kinkier half of this list.    6. She’s a Lady & I’m Gonna Make You Love Me (Christine) Alright so one could certainly argue that these vids aren’t actually horny, and that’s fair. But I won’t beat around the bush: the fact of the matter is whether or not we as viewers are horny for her, Arnie wants to fuck his serial killer car. As far as monster-fucking Stephen King vids of this year go, while these may be a less sexy vid than the Rose one, the whole “wanting to fuck a car” thing definitely pushes it higher up on the kinky, bizarre, and fucked up scales than Alone With You Inside My Mind. 5. Ángel (Tár) Alright so this one is a toughie. It’s a beautiful character study, it’s dark and intense and creepy, it’s at times honestly quite sexy, and it’s also about a sexual predator. So. Finding parts of the vid hot is more than a little uncomfortable. Obviously themes of sex pervade the vid, though it’s unclear to me whether describing it as a “horny vid” is totally fair. This absolutely stunning vid lands the #5 spot on pure fucked-upness. 4. Dream Girl Evil (Last Night in Soho) Speaking of fucked up vids with non-con elements that aren’t necessarily supposed to be sexy so much as dealing with themes of sexuality, here’s a really cool Last Night in Soho vid! Look, this vid is listed as M/F and Gen, and I’m not here to question the vidder’s intent. But also, friends, let’s be real: there is a weird psychosexual undercurrent to Ellie’s obsession with Sandie. And this is really heightened by the sexy song that includes the lyrics “did mommy make you mad?” in a real sultry voice. Anyway, suddenly finding yourself inside someone else’s body and becoming obsessed with them is inherently homoerotic….. SPEAKING OF WHICH… 3. Anymore (Face/Off) …FACE/OFF!!! I can see people watching this vid and not thinking it’s that horny…. But I, the vid recipient and an intellectual, know otherwise. Listen, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: suddenly finding yourself inside someone else’s body and becoming obsessed with them is inherently homoerotic! And also fucked up and bizarre! God this vid has so much going on. There’s face swapping. There’s face licking (biting?). There’s shoot offs. There’s doves. It’s tagged “Sean Archer/Castor Troy” and also “enemies to enemies. ” What a delight. 2. Blood in the Cut (Taskmaster RPF) This is a vid about what a little freak Little Alex Horne is and honestly that is a genre of content I literally always want more of. There’s blood, wax, jealousy, humiliation, bondage – all the things that make Taskmaster great. Very horny. Very weird. Very kinky. It’s almost hard to imagine anyone beating Alex Horne for the freakiest freak of festivids award…….. 1. Body (David Cronenberg) …..Except that someone made me a fucking David Cronenberg vid!!!!!!! I’m not even gonna say more on this one, I’ll just leave you with the tags: “body horror, but make it hot”

Anyway, my three gifts are flawless and I’m also obviously very here for all the other thirsty content this festivids as well. I might be back with an actual rec list at some point. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

(Part 1)

[magicalhideoutengineer]

"With Pickett, it has always been a little bit more difficult because he is literally a little stick man. These pictures are from the beginning of the film, where he takes the button from Newt’s coat and then chases it. We thought it would be funnier if he doesn’t notice Newt at all at first – and then suddenly he does notice him, but carries on for a bit. Again, we are relating to the sorts of things that domestic animals do that we all see.

“The most difficult thing is to work out how to make those moments really sing. With Pickett, it’s almost like the Gromit effect – those simple poses and expressions that replicate what we see as humans in each other, which get across those emotions – that he’s really cross or he’s really happy. Everybody loves those moments because you really get his connection with Newt.”

“As the guardians of the French Ministry, the Matagots had to have a bit more menace. We went through quite a journey with the design of them. Because they are more ‘familiars’ than beasts, initially we had them posed on two legs – almost human-like but cat-like at the same time.

“But again, we went back to nature. We started looking at bald cats, and how evil they can look. And then we added the slow gait of a prowling tiger. Then we started playing around with the proportions, so that they’ve got greater limb length and more human-like front legs so it just feels a little bit more uncomfortable. And then obviously the glowing blue eyes, so they have have a bit more sense of threat – we initially tried them with more realistic eyes, but they just looked bizarre.

“The idea of them turning into real black cats came to us quite early in preproduction. We had a wonderful artist who had the idea of what they would look like when they come out of the magical boundaries of the Ministry and how they would appear in the real world. That idea actually did make the cut. It’s a good example of where we are given the freedom by David and Jo to play and come up with stuff, which makes these films – and we’re going into the third one now – such a collaborative experience. It’s not a bad job!”

[monstermaster13]

Transformation Hot Takes:

- Stereotypical toon tfs, not my thing, but actual cartoon character tfs, yes please.

- Mascot tfs into a generic mascot you just made up instead of existing ones..okay, but I prefer actual existing mascot character tfs, and by that mean I don't mean acting like mascots are sentient beings, that being sad...Pepsiman and The Noid should NEVER be used for TFs ever again because who wants to be those characters.

- Am I the only one who thinks that otaku/fat nerd transformations are offensive? I have an OC who is an overweight character and he very much thinks that the stereotypes associated with nerds and with overweight characters are offensive when it comes to transformations like this. Yeah, make as many whiny social media posts about me as you want, I just don't think a were-otaku who is fat and is bad at sex despite being so horny all the time is a good werecreature to have. Look, not all nerds are fat. And since when were nerds bad in the love-making department? I mean Sheldon Cooper has a girlfriend, Egon Spengler got himself a wife and has a daughter and two grandkids, and Ray got banged by a ghost, in a dream but still...he got to make out with a ghost. And if the AoE every turns people into bad cosplayers of husbandos for the were-otaku to lust over or into toys to be put into the 'love ooze' jar, no thank you.

- Why are suiting tfs even a thing, it's not a transformation, it's just sticking some person in a suit?

- Drones are disgusting and creepy in my opinion. Look I have nothing against robot tfs except when it's one that fetishes turning someone into a robot, nobody had their sexual awakening to Vera Webster in Superman III, so why act like it's hot to be a robot?

- I don't mind dark tfs but I really don't like animal transformations where the victim is unable to talk or think like a human. Also seeing good characters get corrupted is always going to make me feel uncomfortable.

- Bears make for a boring transformation subject. I mean in actuality all bears just eat and sleep, it is no different than being a house-cat or a sloth. I mean you might as well go for a sloth. But if you want an animal that sleeps a lot, you could have just gotten a koala instead since koalas are rarely used.

- The only inanimate transformations that i'd ever deem acceptable are living versions of Spirit Halloween, Transworld and Gemmy animatronics.

- Bimbofication is not my thing and never was.

- Transfurs and protogens are overrated, there I said it.

- Real person transformations are not evil/terrible/bad.

- Why is the kangaroo the go to marsupial transformation when the koala, bandicoot and wombat are right there?

- I don't mind character tfs into a character the artist/writer likes...however, I could do without the needlessly grim and dark tfs that try to emulate David Cronenberg especially if it's just a humanoid character they are turning into and could do without mind change.

- There are fish species besides sharks. Sharks are not as scary/badass as the media depicts them, try some tetras, or a blobfish, or an anglerfish, or even a piranha, or a stargazer.

- No matter how much creepy body horror you put into it...a clown tf is just a tf into another human being, stop treating them like a species. And also shouldn't be a thing.

- I have nothing against weight gain in transformations as long as it makes sense for a character/form to be that size, the person is happy, and if it's not overly fetishistic, often it falls into the fat fetishism category and it is treated like it's 'aspirational' to be overweight when it's actually not, stop objectifying overweight people and patronizing them, they aren't your object of desire. You know, when I do my Aykroyd transformations it's a joke in the stories that the were-aykroyd form is appealing to both men and women, and my characters is sometimes attracted to his were-aykroyd form, and it isn't because he's thicc in that form, it's because his charm is increased in that form, heck the dum dum were-aykroyd tfs are PARODIES of those fat fetish weight gain stories because dum dum were-aykroyds are considered a JOKE species of were-aykroyd in his main universe.

- Horror movie character transformations are rare and should be done more often.

- Cow transformations get a bad reputation because of the flatulence and fecal matter aspects that somehow always get shoved in.

[deuterosapiens]

And with that, Legion is done.

A good, solid week-end read. Not as good as The Exorcist, but I mean, that's an impressive work to top. I will say as a sequel, it kind of doesn't really work very well; every instance wherein the novel tries to forge a connection feels almost pointlessly forced.

There's some good stuff here, though the more intensely supernatural stuff (what should be the good stuff) doesn't really occur until the last act, the early content is solid. Arguably, the best parts of this novel are Kinderman's long-winded pontifications about God and the nature of good and evil. The rest, which should exist to enforce these ideas, is a bit on the weak end.

The issue primarily here is that one key aspect of The Exorcist which makes it such a frightening work is missing: Regan's behavioral changes are only frightening because it's a young girl expressing them. Were she a fully grown adult, there wouldn't be anything near as frightening as there's nothing really uncomfortable in the juxtaposition of an adult acting like an adult. Adult humor and adult behavior and adult language from an adult isn't cause for concern. It is however, uncanny and uncomfortable in a child.

Legion has its focus shifted to an entirely adult cast. The object of possession in this case, Tommy Sunlight, is an adult. His behavior isn't particularly noteworthy as he's already in a psyche ward, and leading up to his role, we've seen far more unhinged behavior that even our lead protagonist isn't too interested in his weirdness.

Let's be honest: Is the reveal, and yes, the book treats this as a major thing, that Father Karras, who died at the end of The Exorcist, is still alive, that big of a deal? We've been given no real time to build up to him being a character here at all that Kinderman stumbling upon him quite literally by accident has no weight to it. It sort of feels a bit like his presence here is solely to more effectively tie this book in to the book it's allegedly a sequel to.

Every single character here could have been an original character, unrelated to the previous novel, and nothing really would have changed.

Still, there's some creepy imagery to be had during the final act. A brief scene involving a room full pf psyche patients staring intensely at a static-y television set, and only coming to life as Kinderman is walking through did legitimately disturb me a bit (in the sense that it reminded me of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the one with Donald Sutherland). And the descriptions of the Gemini Killer's victims is unpleasant, in excellent Blatty fashion.

I haven't seen the film adaptation, I plan to remedy that later. I know William Peter Blatty himself directed it, so I expect it will be of excellent quality (in the sense that the fifth film in any series is specifically good). Throughout my entire read though, I couldn't help but think that David Fincher would have been an excellent director for this.

Between all the philosophical musing, and the Zodiac with the numbers filed off imagery, I was reminded of Fincher's specific skill. The beginning almost perfectly feels like it could have been given to Morgan Freeman as a Se7en monolog. The ending gives a similar impression.

Honestly, this would have been better as a stand-alone novel, but it was fun nonetheless.

[lucindarobinsonvevo]

A lot of people have previously pointed out how uncomfortable the relationship between Leo Takana and Montana Marcel was in the 22 season of Neighbours. And, that’s very true. However one scene in particular strikes me as not just unpleasant in a bad storyline, but also unpleasant in the way that it forces you to confront the question of authorial intent vs. incompetence re: rape culture. 

Specifically, a scene from episode 8816 where Leo comes clean to David about his previous night with Montana. We encounter these lines - 

D: So you were into it? L: I was, yeah. But then... I dunno, it kind of got weird last night. I tried to fob her off, and she wouldn't take no for an answer.

Let us be clear. Coerced consent is NOT consent. In any other situation, this would be a confession from Leo that he was sexually assaulted. He is in a relationship with Montana where he is exchanging sex for her cooperation with Terese, and she refused to take his no for an answer. So, Marcel is in a position of power over Leo, holding the future career of his step mother in her hands. In the Robinson family the show makes clear that their lives are their job. Without her job, Terese has previously relapsed into alcoholism. There is a lot at stake for him here.  

What alarms me about this scene however is that David doesn’t care. To Be Fair - he is embroiled in his own troubled storyline. However, David is often billed as the moral one of the twins, and often, the one who houses the morals for his entire family and the show. This plays in to a larger issue with Neighbours that nothing bad that happens to Leo is treated with the gravity it might have been when dealing with other characters, and it is the second instance of Leo being forced into a relationship he does not want to be in with a white woman who has power over him. For a second time. 

So. Why isn’t David more concerned? I’m big enough to admit that I don’t like David and am prone to seeing the worst in him because he annoys me. If we’re to accept that David is the moral heart of the show, who humanises his evil family than what are we to take away from the fact that this admission from Leo that his consent was coerced is not a problem to him? What are we to take away from the show proceeding to show that Leo getting into a real relationship with Montana which is billed as an overall positive in his life? 

Ah. Yes. Leo actually goes on to enter a relationship with Marcel after this and it’s billed as an overall positive thing in Leo’s life. She also later confesses that she believed she and Leo were just playing a sexual game and he was free to leave at any time. Which I suppose works as an explanation to a point, however Leo did not at any point consent to playing any kind of game with her, and it was his genuine belief that if he did not stay then his family would be in danger. 

This whole storyline is so inappropriately written. I’m not someone who thinks characters on Neighbours should be good people, or storylines should be about good things. I’m not adverse to the problematic. My favourite Bower era storyline is the Paul/Rebecca 100 episode divorce arc which has many of the same elements as this one. Paul is keeping Rebecca married to him by force, and were she to leave him then he would ruin her life. However the difference is that Paul is clearly in the wrong for this, and portrayed as evil and abusive during this storyline. 

Neighbours insists that, in this storyline, Leo has been abused and it was a net positive for his life. 

So, what then are we to make of such a statement. Generally I would not ascribe to malice what can be ascribed to incompetence. Are the writers of Neighbours truly so incompetent that they don’t see this as a problem? Are they promoting rape culture within their supposedly progressive representation supershow? Perhaps. More likely I think they were just distracted by the show’s quickly encroaching demise and wrapping up the David storyline and the Paul/Terese Divorce storyline and a general lack of care that has been frequently been given to Leo’s character. It still leaves a bad taste in my mouth, even a year later. 

[coffee-mage-sans-caffeine]

Blackbeard and Stede were Monsters and I Don’t Give a Fuck: a response to criticism about romanticising the bad guys

I’m seeing a lot of criticism for Our Flag Means Death that goes “The real Stede Bonnet was a slave owner and Blackbeard was a rapist!  How can anyone love this show????” and I thought I’d wade into this mess with my thoughts because I like to live dangerously.  It’s gonna be a long post because it’s a multi-reasoned discussion.  So hang on to your butts. First, let me say, they were pirates.  By the nature of what they did, they were murderers.  They killed people.  Stede was a wealthy landowner whose wealth was built on the tormented backs of enslaved people.  Blackbeard was a rapist who, by the end of his career, traded in enslaved people.  To bring in one of our fictional friends also (important for explaining why I don’t give a fuck), Jim is a murderer who doesn’t give a fuck about murdering.  In no way am I denying that a) murder, rape and slavery are bad or that b) these folks are the kind of people I don’t want to meet in real life c) these people were absolute monsters.  I am also in no way saying that we should alter the actual historical record.  I am also in no way saying that historical examinations of these characters shouldn’t condemn their actions.  Go ahead, condemn.  They were bad people.

But in the context of enjoying Our Flag Means Death, I am not going to drop the show because it romanticises bad people.  Why?  Because, for one thing, the show never lets us forget that these people are violent people who hurt others for their own satisfaction.  For every moment that Ed is soft and sweet and lost, he’s also a vicious killer who splits hairs to live with his own conscience and who has people tortured.  For every moment Stede flinches at the sight of blood, he’s also fucking vicious with words.  For every moment that Jim stands next to Olu and makes me melt, Jim also goes out and ruthlessly murders and doesn’t care when people die.  In the context of the show, these are bad people.  Bad people can be enjoyable protagonists.  Bad people can be sympathetic.  That doesn’t mean that they’re not bad people.

More importantly though, I’m not going to drop the show or condemn David Jenkins and Taika Waititi for romanticising the bad guys because frankly, that’s less important than what the show does.  The show makes a point of giving us a very modern glimpse of what microaggressions really are and why they’re a problem, shown through the lense of the characters of colour.  This is more interesting and, frankly, more valuable to a largely-white audience than if the show continually condemned Stede for owning people.  Slavery is a big bad evil that we look at and go ‘yup, that’s a really bad person.  Fucker owned humans, what the shit.’  It’s easy to look at a slave owner and go ‘I hate that person.’  It’s harder for a white audience to recognise the problem in saying “such a colourful crew” when the crew is not all white--and the white crew contains multiple celts, notably--and “you’re so well-spoken for Africans.”  The show puts those lines out there and makes us stop and think about them.  They make us uncomfortable and they choose carefully who gets the more racist lines so we learn something.  (Now, I am white so I will also say that I cannot speak to how an audience of colour perceives these lines.  My hope is that they’re well enough done that the members of the audience who see them see their experience reflected and are glad to see the people who say these things being punished, but I just don’t have enough friends of colour to survey this.)  The show has chosen to focus on more modern issues and frankly, I think that’s valid and good. The show has chosen carefully who it portrays as heroes and yes, those heroes are bad people, but those people are also marginalised people.  Now, there’s certainly something to be said for criticising stories where the marginalised people are also bad people but there’s no one except the children and maybe Doug in the entire show who I can point at and say ‘you’re actually a really good person.’  Even Mary is down to murder when Stede gets in her way.  And the children and Doug aren’t heroes of the story.  The entire story, protagonists and antagonists, is about bad people.  The heroes though, out of that huge group of bad people, are adult people, many of whom are people of colour, most or all of whom are queer as fuck, who are living lives. It’s easy to forget, I think, how rare it is to have a story where people are unapologetic queer adults.  It’s so new and it’s still so unusual that it makes Our Flag Means Death feel like a fever-fuelled fantasy for me and many other queer adults.  Let me try to explain, because this is the biggest reason I literally do not give a fuck about historical Blackbeard, historical Stede Bonnet, and the fact that Jim is a murderer. When I was six, I was asked to write down my full name in kindergarten, a precursor to learning to sign our names.  I wrote it out and realised with dawning horror that my name meant that everyone around me thought I was a girl.  It had never occurred to me until that moment that I might be a girl.  It was a world-tilting, perspective-shifting moment that I remember with a gut twist to this very day.  It’s been 29 years.  I have lived life, been through some seriously traumatic shit, and to this day that remains one of the most traumatic moments of my life.  I didn’t even have a word for what flavour of queer I was until I was 20, but when I was six, I realised the world thought I was a girl (they were wrong) and that has been in my soul ever since.

In those 29 years, I can count on one hand the number of enjoyable shows that have given me nuanced representation of adults, aimed at adults, living their queer lives.  Torchwood comes to mind as one of the few and I literally have that tattooed on my body because it was that important to me.  I have sat at the table and received crumbs for 29 years.  Dumbledore was gay.  Castiel was gay.  Dean maybe being bisexual until I was told he wasn’t.  Willow was gay/bi.  And none of those experiences were aimed at adults and portrayed as adult experiences on screen, for all that these were the crumbs I was given. Queer as Folk, Queer Eye, and The L Word existed.  There was a bisexual character on Grey’s Anatomy.  I acknowledge these shows and characters have existed but they’re so rare and I have been told I should be grateful, that I should celebrate them.  But they weren’t made for me.  Not the me I am today as a 35 year old autistic human.  Not the me I am today who has survived violence and rape.  Not the me I am today who has survived homelessness.  Not the me I am today who has had to walk away from my entire family to build a life where I could be unapologetically me. Not the me I am today who has had to physically harm people to escape with my life.  Not the me I am today who was cast out of trans support groups for being nonbinary and trying to ‘destroy’ the transgender rights movement by ‘being indecisive.’ Society has cast me as one of the bad guys.  I’m the person who walks away.  I’m the person who ghosts someone who hurts me.  I’m the person who sought community and was told that my presence would destroy that community.  I’m the person who’s been left because I was ‘too dangerous’ simply because my trauma gave me a mental health diagnosis.   I’m sure some adult queer people see themselves reflected in those shows and characters, but I never have.  I was never going to be able to afford to go to medical school.  The only person on the L Word who looked even somewhat like me was Shane.  Queer as Folk was okay, I guess but I wasn’t one of the heroes. Our Flag Means Death was made for me.  It’s a feast for someone who’s had crumbs for 29 years.  It’s about learning to be who you are, without apology for that--the show TELLS US, DIRECTLY, IN THE TEXT never to apologise for being happy.  It’s not about coming out.  It’s not about being nervous someone won’t accept you for being queer.  It’s about being queer.  It’s not about being a queer person in a straight world.  That’s new.  That’s innovative.  

Our Flag Means Death is about carrying your traumas and living with them.  It’s about not having to be a good person to deserve being happy and that’s important because guess what?  Despite my best efforts, despite working my ass off, I haven’t always been a good person.  You can’t survive in a world that’s out to break you and always be a good person.  But Our Flag Means Death tells me that I deserve to be happy, whether I’ve been perfect my whole life or not.  Our Flag Means Death has neurodivergent-coded characters who are allowed to have flaws and don’t have to be rainman to be worthy of love.  Jim can be a nonbinary murderer and still be worthy of love and joy.  

Our Flag Means Death is about finding who you are and finding the people who will celebrate you with you.  It’s not about slavery and rape.

It’s about adults experiencing joy as queer, marginalised people who have been tormented by society.  It’s about adults being allowed to have traumas and being loved whether those traumas exist or not.  It’s about people who aren’t perfect, who aren’t even good still being deserving of love and respect.  

And guys?  That’s fucking revolutionary.  Our Flag Means Death was made for me and it was made for a lot of people like me who didn’t grow up in a world that said it was okay to be me.  And that’s why I don’t give a fuck about historical accuracy or whether or not it’s romanticising the bad guys.  I am one of the bad guys.   Because the problem isn’t Our Flag Means Death.  The problem is a society that cast me from birth as one of the bad guys just for being born different and forged me so that I can’t see myself in the good guys.

[bellarkeselection]

Flower Love

Snow escapes the Evil Queen. Abigail's father helps set up new alliance since his daughter isn't marrying David anymore.

Charming marries Rapunzal's sister.

The double doors opened for me to see King Midas waiting for me. I curtsey to him picking up some of my light orange dress, hunting boots underneath with my brown added blonde highlights completely loose. "Princess Y/n what a pleasure. I do hope you're willingness to marry me son, is indeed true." He spoke as I get to my feet smiling. "It is true, your majesty." The doors open again so I glanced over my shoulder to see a prince enter.

"Sorry I'm late. My horse got stuck in the woods." The man has dirty blonde hair and bright green eyes as he takes my hand in his planting a kiss. "Hello princess Y/n. I'm dav- Prince James."

I blushed when we lock eyes. There's something I can't put my finger on about him. Like I'm meant to be with this man for life, and not just to get them out of debt. James and I entered up sitting in a swing outside the horse stables. "Are those hunting boots under your dress?" He raises a brow catching sight of the tips.

"Oh yes. I hate wearing tight uncomfortable shoes. I'm also no damsel in distress. I am a pretty good shot with a bow, plus my sister showed me how to use a frying pan once." I chuckled out a huge smile on my face.

James nods in understanding rubbing the back of his neck. "Can I - uh tell you something?" I nodded yes seeing he's nervous. "My real name is David. I only go by James because he was my twin brother, but he was killed. So I went from being a shepherd to a prince."

I rest a hand over his that rests on his knee making him look at me. "I guess we're both not what the royals expect. David...I didn't come here to meet you because of my parents arrangement..."

"So you're here by choice?" He asks with a slight smile. I intertwined our hands grinning brightly. "Yes David. Princess Abigail spoke lovely things about you. So I had to come see for myself. She was right."

David brushed some hair behind my ear that had fallen before pulling out a ring with a green jewel in the center of it. "Princess Y/n of Corona, you are a free spirited girl and I'd be honored if you became my wife..." He gets down on one knee brushing away his fur cloak staring up at me. "So reguardless of what my father thinks, what my kingdom thinks. I feel like I'm meant to be with you. Will you marry me?"

I feel a smile masks my face as I eye the prince down on one knee. "I feel a connection between us too. So yes David, I will marry you." He slipped the ring on my finger and gently captured his lips with mine. I wrap my arms around his neck kissing him back happily.

[iamshwee]

SHADOW WORK: The Ultimate Guide

I. Why Focusing Only on the Light is a Form of Escapism

For most of my life, I’ve grown up firmly believing that the only thing worthy of guiding me was “light” and “love.” Whether through the family environment I was raised in, or the cultural myths I was brought up clinging to, I once believed that all you really needed to do in life to be happy was to focus on everything beautiful, positive and spiritually “righteous.” I’m sure you were raised believing a similar story as well. It’s a sort of “Recipe for Well-Being.”

But a few years ago, after battling ongoing mental health issues, I realized something shocking:

I was wrong.

Not just wrong, but completely and utterly off the mark. Focusing only on “love and light” will not heal your wounds on a deep level. In fact, I’ve learned through a lot of heavy inner work, that not only is focusing solely on “holiness” in life one side of the equation, but it is actually a form of spiritually bypassing your deeper, darker problems that, let me assure you, almost definitely exist.

It is very easy and comfortable to focus only on the light side of life. So many people in today’s world follow this path. And while it might provide some temporary emotional support, it doesn’t reach to the depths of your being: it doesn’t transform you at a core level. Instead, it leaves you superficially hanging onto warm and fuzzy platitudes which sound nice, but don’t enact any real change.

What DOES touch the very depths of your being, however, is exploring your Shadow.

II. What is the Human Shadow?

In short, the human shadow is our dark side; our lost and forgotten disowned self. 

Your shadow is the place within you that contains all of your secrets, repressed feelings, primitive impulses, and parts deemed “unacceptable,” shameful, “sinful” or even “evil.” 

This dark place lurking within your unconscious mind also contains suppressed and rejected emotions such as rage, jealousy, hatred, greed, deceitfulness, and selfishness.

So where did the Shadow Self idea originate? The concept was originally coined and explored by Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Carl Jung. In Jung’s own words:

“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”

When the human Shadow is shunned, it tends to undermine and sabotage our lives. Addictions, low self-esteem, mental illness, chronic illnesses, and various neuroses are all attributed to the Shadow Self. When our Shadows are suppressed or repressed in the unconscious long enough, they can even overtake our entire lives and causes psychosis or extreme forms of behavior like cheating on one’s partner or physically harming others. Intoxicants such as alcohol and drugs also have a tendency to unleash the Shadow.

Thankfully, there is a way to explore the Shadow and prevent it from devouring our existence, and that is called Shadow Work.

III. What is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is the process of exploring your inner darkness or “Shadow Self.” As mentioned previously, your Shadow Self is part of your unconscious mind and contains everything you feel ashamed of thinking and feeling, as well as every impulse, repressed idea, desire, fear, and perversion that for one reason or another, you have “locked away” consciously or unconsciously. Often this is done as a way of keeping yourself tame, likable, and “civilized” in the eyes of others.

Shadow work is the attempt to uncover everything that we have hidden and every part of us that has been disowned and rejected within our Shadow Selves. 

Why? Because without revealing to ourselves what we have hidden, we remain burdened with problems such as anger, guilt, shame, disgust, and grief.

All throughout the history of mankind Shadow Work has played a powerful yet mysterious and occult role in helping us discover what is causing us mental illness, physical dis-ease and even insanity resulting in crimes of all kinds.

Traditionally, Shadow Work fell in the realm of the Shamans, or medicine people, as well as the priests and priestesses of the archaic periods of history.  These days, Shadow Work falls more commonly in the realms of psychotherapy, with psychologists, psychiatrists, spiritual guides, and therapists.

IV. Do We All Have a Shadow Self?

Yes, we ALL have a Shadow Self.

As uncomfortable as it may sound, there is a dark side within every human being. Why is this the case? The reason why all human beings have a shadow is due to the way we were raised as human beings, often referred to as our ‘conditioning.’

“But I’m a good person! I don’t have a ‘shadow’ side,” you might be thinking. Well, the reality is that yes, you might be a good person. In fact, you might be the most generous, loving, and selfless person in the entire world. You might feed the hungry, save puppies, and donate half of your salary to the poor. But that doesn’t exclude you from having a Shadow. 

There are no exceptions here. 

The nature of being human is to possess both a light and a dark side, and we need to embrace that.

Sometimes, when people hear that they have a Shadow side (or when it is pointed out), there is a lot of denial. We have been taught to perceive ourselves in a very two-dimensional and limited way. We have been taught that only criminals, murderers, and thieves have a Shadow side.

This black and white thinking is one of the major causes of our suffering.

If the thought of having a Shadow side disturbs you, take a moment to consider whether you have developed an idealized self. 

Signs of an idealized self include attitudes such as:

·   “I’m not like those people, I’m better.”

·  “I have never strayed.”

·  “God is proud of me.”

·  “Criminals and wrongdoers aren’t human.”

·  “Everyone sees how good I am (even so, I have to remind them).”

·  “I’m a role model.”

·  “I should be validated and applauded for my good deeds.”

·  “I don’t have bad thoughts, so why do others?”

Such perceptions about oneself are unrealistic, unhealthy, and largely delusional. The only way to find inner peace, happiness, authentic love, self-fulfillment, and Illumination is to explore our Shadow.

V. How is Our Shadow Side Formed?

Your Shadow side is formed in childhood and is both (a) a product of natural ego development, and (b) a product of conditioning or socialization. Socialization is the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society.

When we are born, we are are all full of potential, with the ability to survive and develop in a variety of ways. As time goes on, we learn more and more to become a certain type of person. Slowly, due to our circumstances and preferences, we begin to adopt certain character traits and reject others. For example, if we are born into a family that shows little interpersonal warmth, we will develop personality traits that make us self-sufficient and perhaps standoffish or mind-oriented. If we are born into a family that rewards compliance and shuns rebellion, we will learn that being submissive works, and thus adopt that as part of our ego structure.

As authors and Jungian therapists, Steve Price and David Haynes write:

“But, as we develop our ego-personality, we also do something else at the same time. What has happened to all those parts of our original potential that we didn’t develop? They won’t just cease to exist: they will still be there, as potential or as partly developed, then rejected, personality attributes, and they will live on in the unconscious as an alternative to the waking ego. So, by the very act of creating a specifically delineated ego-personality, we have also created its opposite in the unconscious. This is the shadow. Everyone has one.”

As we can see, developing the Shadow Self is a natural part of development.

But you also formed an alter ego due to social conditioning, i.e. your parents, family members, teachers, friends, and society at large all contributed to your Shadow.

How?

Well here’s the thing: polite society operates under certain rules. In other words, certain behaviors and characteristics are approved of, while others are shunned. Take anger for example. Anger is an emotion that is commonly punished while growing up. Throwing tantrums, swearing, and destroying things was frowned upon by our parents and teachers. Therefore, many of us learned that expressing anger was not “OK.” Instead of being taught healthy ways to express our anger, we were punished sometimes physically (with smacks or being grounded), and often emotionally (withdrawal of love and affection).

There are countless behaviors, emotions, and beliefs that are rejected in society, and thus, are rejected by ourselves. In order to fit in, be accepted, approved, and loved, we learned to act a certain way. We adopted a role that would ensure our mental, emotional, and physical survival. But at the same time, wearing a mask has consequences. What happened to all the authentic, wild, socially taboo, or challenging parts of ourselves? They were trapped in the Shadow.

What happens as we grow up?

Through time, we learn to both enjoy, and despise, our socially-approved egos because, on the one hand, they make us feel good and “lovable,” but on the other hand, they feel phony and inhibited.

Therapist Steve Wolf has a perfect analogy that describes this process:

“Each of us is like Dorian Gray. We seek to present a beautiful, innocent face to the world; a kind, courteous demeanor; a youthful, intelligent image. And so, unknowingly but inevitably, we push away those qualities that do not fit the image, that does not enhance our self-esteem and make us stand proud but, instead, bring us shame and make us feel small. We shove into the dark cavern of the unconscious those feelings that make us uneasy — hatred, rage, jealousy, greed, competition, lust, shame — and those behaviors that are deemed wrong by the culture — addiction, laziness, aggression, dependency — thereby creating what could be called shadow content. Like Dorian’s painting, these qualities ultimately take on a life of their own, forming an invisible twin that lives just behind our life, or just beside it …”

But while the Shadow Self may be portrayed as our “evil twin,” it is not entirely full of “bad” stuff. There is actually gold to be found within the Shadow.

VI. What is the Golden Shadow?

Jung once states that “the shadow is ninety percent pure gold.” What this means is that there are many beautiful gifts offered to us by our Shadow side if we take the time to look. For example, so much of our creative potential is submerged within our darkness because we were taught when little to reject it.

Not everything within our Shadow is doom and gloom. In fact, the Shadow contains some of our most powerful gifts and talents, such as our artistic, sexual, competitive, innovative, and even intuitive aptitudes.

The ‘Golden Shadow’ also presents us with the opportunity for tremendous psychological and spiritual growth. By doing Shadow Work, we learn that every single emotion and wound that we possess has a gift to share with us. Even the most obnoxious, “ugly,” or shameful parts of ourselves provide a path back to Oneness. Such is the power of the Shadow – it is both a terrifying journey, but is ultimately a path to Enlightenment or Illumination. Every spiritual path needs Shadow Work to prevent the issues from happening that we’ll explore next.

VII. What Happens When You Reject Your Shadow?

When shadow-work is neglected, the soul feels dry, brittle, like an empty vessel. — S. Wolf

Rejecting, suppressing, denying, or disowning your Shadow, whether consciously or unconsciously, is a dangerous thing. The thing about the Shadow Self is that it seeks to be known. It yearns to be understood, explored, and integrated. It craves to be held in awareness. The longer the Shadow stays buried and locked in its jail cell deep within the unconscious, the more it will find opportunities to make you aware of its existence.

Both religion and modern spirituality tend to focus on the “love and light” aspects of spiritual growth to their own doom. 

This over-emphasis on the fluffy, transcendental, and feel-good elements of a spiritual awakening results in shallowness and phobia of whatever is too real, earthy, or dark.

Spiritually bypassing one’s inner darkness results in a whole range of serious issues. Some of the most common and reoccurring Shadow issues that appear in the spiritual/religious community include pedophilia among priests, financial manipulation of followers among gurus, and of course, megalomania, narcissism, and God complexes among spiritual teachers.

Other issues that arise when we reject our Shadow side can include:

·  Hypocrisy (believing and supporting one thing, but doing the other)

·  Lies and self-deceit (both towards oneself and others)

·  Uncontrollable bursts of rage/anger

·  Emotional and mental manipulation of others

·  Greed and addictions

·  Phobias and obsessive compulsions

·  Racist, sexist, homophobic, and other offensive behavior

·  Intense anxiety

·  Chronic psychosomatic illness

·  Depression (which can turn into suicidal tendencies)

·  Sexual perversion

·  Narcissistically inflated ego

·  Chaotic relationships with others

·  Self-loathing

·  Self-absorption

·  Self-sabotage

… and many others. This is by no means a comprehensive list (and there are likely many other issues out there). As we’ll learn next, one of the greatest ways we reject our Shadow is through psychological projection.

VIII. The Shadow and Projection (a Dangerous Mix)

One of the biggest forms of Shadow rejection is something called projection.

Projection is a term that refers to seeing things in others that are actually within ourselves.

When we pair projection and the Shadow Self together, we have a dangerous mix. Why? Because as psychotherapist Robert A. Johnson writes:

“We generally seek to punish that which reminds us most uncomfortable about the part of ourselves that we have not come to terms with, and we often ‘see’ these disowned qualities in the world around us.”

There are many different ways we ‘punish’ those who are mirrors of our Shadow qualities. We may criticize, reject, hate, dehumanize, or even in extreme cases, physically or psychologically seek to destroy them (think of countries who go at war with the “enemies”). None of us are innocent in this area. We have ALL projected parts of our rejected self onto others. In fact, Shadow projection is a major cause of relationship dysfunction and break down.

If we are seeking to bring peace, love, and meaning to our lives, we absolutely MUST reclaim these projections. Through Shadow Work, we can explore exactly what we have disowned.

IX. Twelve Benefits of Shadow Work

Firstly, I want to say that I have the highest respect for Shadow Work. It is the single most important path I’ve taken to uncover my core wounds, core beliefs, traumas, and projections. I have also observed how Shadow Work has helped to create profound clarity, understanding, harmony, acceptance, release, and inner peace in the lives of others. It is truly deep work that makes changes on the Soul level targeting the very roots of our issues, not just the superficial symptoms.

There is SO much to be gained from making Shadow Work a part of your life, and daily routine. Here are some of the most commonly experienced benefits:

1.     Deeper love and acceptance of yourself

2.     Better relationships with others, including your partner and children

3.     More confidence to be your authentic self

4.     More mental, emotional, and spiritual clarity

5.     Increased compassion/understanding for others = who you dislike

6.     Enhanced creativity

7.     Discovery of hidden gifts and talents

8.     Deepened understanding of your passions and ultimate life purpose

9.     Improved physical and mental health

10.   More courage to face the unknown and truly live life

11.   Access to your Soul or Higher Self

12.   A feeling of Wholeness

It’s important to remember that there are no quick fixes in Shadow Work, so these life-changing benefits don’t just happen overnight. But with persistence, they will eventually emerge and bless your life.

X. Seven Tips for Approaching Shadow Work

Before you begin Shadow Work, you need to assess whether you’re ready to embark on this journey. Not everyone is prepared for this deep work, and that’s fine. We’re all at different stages. So pay attention to the following questions and try to answer them honestly:

·        Have you practiced self-love yet?

o   If not, Shadow Work will be too overwhelming for you. I have starred this bullet point because it is essential for you to consider. Shadow Work should not be attempted by those who have poor self-worth or struggle with self-loathing. In other words: if you struggle with severely low self-esteem, please do not attempt Shadow Work. I emphatically warn you against doing it. Why? If you struggle with extremely poor self-worth, exploring your Shadow will likely make you feel ten times worse about yourself. Before you walk this path, you absolutely must establish a strong and healthy self-image. No, you don’t have to think you’re God’s gift to the world, but having average self-worth is important. Try taking this self-esteem test to explore whether you’re ready (but first, don’t forget to finish this article!).

·        Are you prepared to make time? 

o   Shadow Work is not a lukewarm practice. You are either all in or all out. Yes, it is important to take a break from it from time to time. But Shadow Work requires dedication, self-discipline, and persistence. Are you willing to intentionally carve out time each day to dedicate to it? Even just ten minutes a day is a good start.

·        Are you looking to be validated or to find the truth? 

o   As you probably know by now, Shadow Work isn’t about making you feel special. It isn’t like typical spiritual paths that are focused on the feel-good. No, Shadow Work can be brutal and extremely confronting. This is a path for truth seekers, not those who are seeking to be validated.

·        Seek to enter a calm and neutral space. 

o   It is important to try and relax when doing Shadow Work. Stress and judgmental or critical attitudes will inhibit the process. So please try to incorporate a calming meditation or mindfulness technique into whatever you do.

·        Understand that you are not your thoughts. 

o   You need to realize that you are not your thoughts for Shadow Work to be healing and liberating. Only from your calm and quiet Center (also known as your Soul) can you truly be aware of your Shadow aspects. By holding them in awareness, you will see them clearly for what they are, and realize that they ultimately don’t define you; they are simply rising and falling mental phenomena.

·        Practice self-compassion.

o   It is of paramount importance to incorporate compassion and self-acceptance into your Shadow Work practice. Without showing love and understanding to yourself, it is easy for Shadow Work to backfire and make you feel terrible. So focus on generating self-love and compassion, and you will be able to release any shame and embrace your humanity.

·        Record everything you find. 

o   Keep a written journal or personal diary in which you write down, or draw, your discoveries. Recording your dreams, observations, and analysis will help you to learn and grow more effectively. You’ll also be able to keep track of your process and make important connections.

 XI. How to Practice Shadow Work

There are many Shadow Work techniques and exercises out there. In this guide, I will provide a few to help you start off. I’ll also share a few examples from my own life:

1. Pay attention to your emotional reactions

In this practice, you’ll learn that what you give power to has power over you. Let me explain:

One Shadow Work practice I enjoy a great deal is paying attention to everything that shocks, disturbs, and secretly thrills me. Essentially, this practice is about finding out what I’ve given the power to in my life unconsciously, because: what we place importance in – whether good or bad – says a lot about us.

The reality is that what we react to, or what makes us angry and distressed, reveals extremely important information to us about ourselves.

For example, by following where my “demons” have taken me – whether in social media, family circles, workspaces, and public places – I have discovered two important things about myself. The first one is that I’m a control freak; I hate feeling vulnerable, powerless and weak . . . it quite simply scares the living hell out of me. How did I discover this? Through my intense dislike of witnessing rape scenes in movies and TV shows, my negative reaction to novel experiences (e.g. roller coaster rides, public speaking, etc.), as well as my discomfort surrounding sharing information about my life with others in conversations. Also, by following where my “demons” have guided me I’ve discovered that I’m being burdened by an exasperating guilt complex that I developed through my religious upbringing. Apart of me wants to feel unworthy because that is what I’ve developed a habit of feeling since childhood (e.g. “You’re a sinner,” “It’s your fault Jesus was crucified”), and therefore, that is what I secretly feel comfortable with feeling: unworthy. So my mind nit-picks anything I might have done “wrong,” and I’m left with the feeling of being “bad” – which I’m used to, but nevertheless, this is destructive for my well-being.

Thanks to this practice, I have welcomed more compassion, mindfulness, and forgiveness into my life.

Paying attention to your emotional reactions can help you to discover exactly how your core wounds are affecting you on a daily basis.

How to Pay Attention to Your Emotional Reactions

To effectively pay attention to your emotional reactions (I call it “following the trail of your inner demons”), you first need to cultivate:

1. Self-awareness

Without being conscious of what you’re doing, thinking, feeling, and saying, you won’t progress very far.

If, however, you are fairly certain that you’re self-aware (or enough to start the process), you will then need to:

2. Adopt an open mindset

You will need to have the courage and willingness to observe EVERYTHING uncomfortable you place importance in, and ask “why?” What do I mean by the phrase “placing importance in”? By this, I mean that, whatever riles, shocks, infuriates, disturbs and terrifies you, you must pay attention to. Closely.

Likely, you will discover patterns constantly emerging in your life. For example, you might be outraged or embarrassed every time sex appears in a TV show or movie you like (possibly revealing sexual repression or mistaken beliefs about sex that you’ve adopted throughout life). Or you might be terrified of seeing death or dead people (possibly revealing your resistance to the nature of life or childhood trauma). Or you might be disgusted by alternative political, sexual, and spiritual lifestyles (possibly revealing your hidden desire to do the same).

There are so many possibilities out there, and I encourage you to go slowly, take your time, and one by one pick through what you place importance in.

“But I DON’T place importance in gross, bad or disturbing things in life, how could I? I don’t care for them!” you might be asking.

Well, think for a moment. If you didn’t place so much importance on what makes you angry, disgusted or upset . . . why would you be reacting to it so much? The moment you emotionally react to something is the moment you have given that thing power over you. Only that which doesn’t stir up emotions in us is not important to us.

See what you respond to and listen to what your Shadow is trying to teach you.

2. Artistically Express Your Shadow Self

Art is the highest form of self-expression and is also a great way to allow your Shadow to manifest itself.  Psychologists often use art therapy as a way to help patients explore their inner selves.

Start by allowing yourself to feel (or drawing on any existing) dark emotions. Choose an art medium that calls to you such as pen and pencil, watercolor, crayon, acrylic paint, scrapbooking, sculpting, etc. and draw what you feel. You don’t need to consider yourself an ‘artist’ to benefit from this activity. You don’t even need to plan what you’ll create. Just let your hands, pen, pencil, or paintbrush do the talking. The more spontaneous, the better. Artistic expression can reveal a lot about your obscure darker half. Psychologist Carl Jung (who conceptualized the Shadow Self idea) was even famous for using mandalas in his therapy sessions.

3. Start a Project

The act of creation can be intensely frustrating and can give birth to some of your darker elements such as impatience, anger, blood-thirsty competitiveness, and self-doubt. At the same time, starting a project also allows you to experience feelings of fulfillment and joy.

If you don’t already have a personal project that you’re undertaking (such as building something, writing a book, composing music, mastering a new skill), find something you would love to start doing. Using self-awareness and self-exploration during the process of creation, you will be able to reap deeper insights into your darkness. Ask yourself constantly, “What am I feeling and why?” Notice the strong emotions that arise during the act of creation, both good and bad. You will likely be surprised by what you find!

For example, as a person who considers myself non-competitive, that assumption has been challenged by the act of writing this blog. Thanks to this project, the Shadow within me of ruthless competitiveness has shown its face, allowing me to understand myself more deeply.

4. Write a Story or Keep a Shadow Journal

Goethe’s story Faust is, in my opinion, one of the best works featuring the meeting of an ego and his Shadow Self.  His story details the life of a Professor who becomes so separated and overwhelmed by his Shadow that he comes to the verge of suicide, only to realize that the redemption of the ego is solely possible if the Shadow is redeemed at the same time.

Write a story where you project your Shadow elements onto the characters – this is a great way to learn more about your inner darkness.  If stories aren’t your thing, keeping a journal or diary every day can shine a light on the darker elements of your nature.  Reading through your dark thoughts and emotions can help you to recover the balance you need in life by accepting both light and dark emotions within you.

5. Explore Your Shadow Archetypes

We have several Shadow varieties, also called Shadow Archetypes. These archetypes are sometimes defined as:

·        The Sorcerer/Alchemist

·        The Dictator

·        The Victim

·        The Shadow Witch

·        The Addict

·        The Idiot

·        The Trickster

·        The Destroyer

·        The Slave

·        The Shadow Mother

·        The Hag

·        The Hermit

However, I have my own Shadow Archetype classification, which I will include below.

13 Shadow Archetypes

Here are my thirteen classifications which are based on my own self-observations and analysis of others:

1.  The Egotistical Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: arrogance, egocentricity, pompousness, inconsiderateness, self-indulgence, narcissism, excessive pride.

2.  The Neurotic Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: paranoia, obsessiveness, suspiciousness, finicky, demanding, compulsive behavior.

3.  The Untrustworthy Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: secretive, impulsive, frivolous, irresponsible, deceitful, unreliable.

4.  The Emotionally Unstable Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: moody, melodramatic, weepy, overemotional, impulsive, changeable.

5.  The Controlling Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: suspicious, jealous, possessive, bossy, obsessive.

6.  The Cynical Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: negative, overcritical, patronizing, resentful, cantankerous.

7.  The Wrathful Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: ruthless, vengeful, bitchy, quick-tempered, quarrelsome.

8.  The Rigid Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: uptight, intolerant, racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, obstinate, uncompromising, inflexible, narrow-minded.

9.  The Glib Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: superficial, cunning, inconsistent, sly, crafty.

10.  The Cold Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: emotionally detached, distant, indifferent, uncaring, unexcited.

11.  The Perverted Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: masochistic, lewd, sadistic, vulgar, libidinous.

12.  The Cowardly Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: weak-willed, passive, timid, fearful.

13.  The Immature Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: puerile, childish, illogical, simpleminded, vacuous.

Keep in mind that the above Shadow Archetypes are by no means exhaustive. I’m sure that there are many others out there which I have missed. But you are free to use this breakdown to help you explore your own Shadows. You’re also welcome to add to this list or create your own Shadow Archetypes, which I highly encourage. For example, you might possess a judgmental and dogmatic Shadow who you call “The Nun,” or a sexually deviant Shadow who you call “The Deviant.” Play around with some words and labels, and see what suits your Shadows the best.

6. Have an Inner Conversation

Also known as “Inner Dialogue,” or as Carl Jung phrased it, “Active Imagination,” having a conversation with your Shadow is an easy way to learn from it.

I understand if you might feel a twinge of skepticism towards this practice right now. After all, we are taught that “only crazy people talk to themselves.” But inner dialogue is regularly used in psychotherapy as a way to help people communicate with the various subpersonalities that they have – and we all possess various faces and sides of our ego.

One easy way to practice inner dialogue is to sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and tune into the present moment. Then, think of a question you would like to ask your Shadow, and silently speak it within your mind. Wait a few moments and see if you ‘hear’ or ‘see’ an answer. Record anything that arises and reflect on it. It is even possible to carry on a conversation with your Shadow using this method. Just ensure that you have an open mindset. In other words, don’t try to control what is being said, just let it flow naturally. You will likely be surprised by the answers you receive!

Visualization is another helpful way of engaging in inner dialogue. I recommend bringing to mind images of dark forests, caves, holes in the ground, or the ocean as these all represent the unconscious mind. Always ensure that you enter and exit your visualization in the same manner, e.g. if you are walking down a path, make sure you walk back up the path. Or if you open a particular door, make sure you open the same door when returning back to normal consciousness. This practice will help to draw you effortlessly in and out of visualizations.

7. Use the Mirror Technique

As we have learned, projection is a technique of the Shadow that helps us to avoid what we have disowned. However, we don’t only project the deeper and darker aspects of ourselves onto others, we also project our light and positive attributes as well. For example, a person may be attracted to another who displays fierce self-assertiveness, not realizing that this quality is what they long to reunite with inside themselves. Another common example (this time negative) is judgmentalism. How many times have you heard someone say “he/she is so judgmental!” Ironically, the very person saying this doesn’t realize that calling another person ‘judgmental’ is actually pronouncing a judgment against them and revealing their own judgmental nature.

The Mirror Technique is the process of uncovering our projections. To practice this technique, we must adopt a mindful and honest approach towards the world: we need to be prepared to own that which we have disowned! Being radically truthful with ourselves can be difficult, so it does require practice. But essentially, we must adopt the mindset that other people are our mirrors. We must understand that those around us serve as the perfect canvas onto which we project all of our unconscious desires and fears.

Start this practice by examining your thoughts and feelings about those you come in contact with. Pay attention to moments when you’re emotionally triggered and ask yourself “am I projecting anything?” Remember: it is also possible to project our own qualities onto another person who really does possess the qualities. Psychologists sometimes refer to this as “projecting onto reality.” For example, we might project our rage onto another person who is, in fact, a rage-filled person. Or we might project our jealousy onto another who genuinely is jealous.

Ask yourself, “What is mine, what is theirs, and what is both of ours?” Not every triggering situation reveals a projection, but they more than often do. Also, look for things you love and adore about others, and uncover the hidden projections there.

The Mirror Technique will help you to shed a lot of light onto Shadow qualities that you have rejected, suppressed, repressed, or disowned. On a side note, you might also like to read about a similar practice called mirror work which helps you to come face-to-face with your own denied aspects.

XII. Shadow Work Q&A

Here are some commonly asked questions about shadow work:

What is shadow work?

Shadow work is the psychological and spiritual practice of exploring our dark side or the ‘shadowy’ part of our nature. We all possess a place within us that contains our secrets, repressed feelings, shameful memories, impulses, and parts that are deemed “unacceptable” and “ugly.” This is our dark side or shadow self – and it is often symbolized as a monster, devil, or ferocious wild animal.

How to do shadow work?

There are many ways to practice shadow work. Some of the most powerful and effective techniques include journaling, artistically expressing your dark side (also known as art therapy), using a mirror to connect with this part of you (mirror work), guided meditations, exploring your projections, and examining your shadow archetypes.

What is the spiritual shadow?

There is light and darkness within all areas of life, and spirituality is not exempt. The spiritual shadow is what occurs when we fall into the traps of spiritual materialism – a phenomenon where we use spirituality to boost our egos and become arrogant, self-absorbed, and even narcissistic.

XIII. Shadow Self -Test

https://lonerwolf.com/shadow-self-test/

As passionate proponents of Shadow Work, we have created a free Shadow Self test on this website for you to take. Like any test, take it with a grain of salt and use your own analysis to ultimately determine how ‘dominant’ your Shadow is in your life. Please remember that tests online cannot be 100% accurate, so see it as a fun self-discovery tool. And note: those who receive a “small Shadow Self” answer still need to do Shadow Work. No person is exempt. ;)

XIV. Own Your Shadow and You Will Own Your Life

If you are looking for some serious, authentic and long-lived healing in your life, Shadow Work is the perfect way to experience profound inner transformation. Remember that what you internalize is almost always externalized in one form or another.

Own your shadow and you will own your life.

Here are some final inspiring words:

“The secret is out: all of us, no exceptions, have qualities we won’t let anyone see, including ourselves – our Shadow. If we face up to our dark side, our life can be energized. If not, there is the devil to pay. This is one of life’s most urgent projects. — Larry Dossey (Healing Words)”

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.” — Gail Sheehy

“Who has not at one time or another felt a sourness, wrath, selfishness, envy and pride, which he could not tell what to do with, or how to bear, rising up in him without his consent, casting a blackness over all his thoughts … It is exceeding good and beneficial to us to discover this dark, disordered fire of our soul; because when rightly known and rightly dealt with, it can as well be made the foundation of heaven as it is of hell. — William Law”

“To confront a person with his own shadow is to show him his own light. — Carl Jung”

[seancekitsch]

Bitter They Kiss: A Paul x Reader x Marko fic

Warnings: double penetration,oral, dirty talk, ouid and wine, threesome, what do you expect from me

“Stay inside, y/n, just until you learn how to control yourself.”

“Marko, Paul, Stay with y/n tonight.”

Figures you’d be fuckin stuck with the terror twins tonight. No, not that you didn’t love them; these two stirred up a lot of trouble with you. They were a great time, but this was about how David still didn’t trust you not to make too big a mess.

Did he have somewhat of a good point? Okay, sure, maybe you’d killed someone in the tunnel of love on the boardwalk in front of witnesses in the car behind you and hadn’t tried to hide it. That was just one time. You were starving, and all of the newfound power is fun. There’s no reason not to use it.

But David saw this as some kind of issue, so you’re stuck being baby sat while David and Dwayne hunt for you until you ‘learn your lesson’ or some stupid shit.

You pick at the  flaking black nail polish on your ringed fingers, foot propped up in the lawn chair you were sitting on, trying to bide your time with the cold feeling of hunger settling in your frame

“What's with that sour face, baby?”

It’s Paul’s voice coming from somewhere up in the rafters, before he drops himself down next to you. You sigh more than dramatically before letting your head loll to the side to meet his gaze.

“Whats up, Harpo? Zeppo stop kissing your ass so now you gotta come bug me for attention?” you quip, the Santa Carla coven really feeling more like a vaudeville troupe when hunting wasn’t on the mind.

“Oh it was more than kissing,” Marko’s laughing voice comes from behind you, earning a fake grossed out look from you thrown at Paul. Marko drops beside you opposite of Paul, with a case of beer in one of his hands.

“Do you even know who the Marx brothers are, y/n?” Paul sneers, “That's a pretty tall reference you just made.”

“Yeah, y/n, aren’t they your grandparents' humor?” Marko adds.

“The Marx brothers are all younger than you, old man,” you throw right back at them.

“At least we look better.” A pout forms on Marko’s angelic features, while a goofy grin seems permanently plastered on Paul’s.

“You seemed bored all cooped up in here,” Paul starts, “So we wanted to know if you wanted to party with us?”

Did he even have to ask? You roll your eyes and motion for Marko to give you one of the beers, and the boys high five. You and the boys crack open the cold cans in unison, taking big gulps before setting them down.

Quiet sets in among the three of you, unsure what to do. Usually, the cave is more crowded, all of you sticking close to one another, but still intermingling. It felt empty and tense without the others.

“Should I go turn on some tunes?” Paul asks, already moving to stand, when you reach behind him and pull him down by his jacket.

“If I have to hear another Motley Crue record this week, I’m going to scream,” you mutter, urging him to take another sip with you. They’ve heard you scream, and they don’t want to hear it again.

“Let’s play a game with the kid!” Marko suggests, and just by Paul’s expression you can tell there are a million evil thoughts in his head. Here we go. You roll your eyes as they start going through their usual game repertoire.

“Truth or dare?”

“You’re just gonna dare me to take my top off.”

“Seven minutes in heaven?”

“Do you guys think you could last seven minutes?”

“I can last seven minutes. Paul, can you last seven minutes?”

“Who wants to know?”

“Y/n wants to know!”

“Knock it off!”

“What about never have I ever, babe?” Paul suggests, taking a lock of your hair and twirling his finger around it.

And you actually don’t have shit to say against that game. It was the least pervy or dangerous of all of the games these two liked to play. If Dwayne were here, he’d suggest cards or something normal.

“Alright fine, lets play never have I ever you fucking children,” you huff, as you motion for Marko to pass you another beer, his cold fingers lingering on yours for a moment too long. As careless as Marko seems, he doesn’t act without intention. The guys are up to something.

It's a game you know well, one played often and usually used to humiliate each other, and tonight will be no different. If you’ve done the thing, you drink, if you haven’t, you don’t. It starts off slow, with lame things like, ‘never have I ever eaten an avocado’ or ‘ never have I ever been traveling’ but then quickly descends into madness.

That’s why you know you’re playing with fire when you utter the following phrase:

“Never have I ever kissed Paul.”

And something absolutely evil flashes in Marko’s eyes as he meets your gaze over the rim of the beer can when he takes a long drink, like a challenge.

“Well, sweetheart, never have I ever been caught staring at any of us like you wanna eat us,” he counters.

“Excuse me? I’ve never-“

Paul cuts you off.

“No, no babe you don’t get to say shit. I’ve seen the way you stare at us. It’s pretty hot.”

“Well, maybe I have checked you out…. once or twice,” you allow yourself to admit. A few beers and hunger for something has loosened your tongue as your leather shorts start to feel a little uncomfortable.

“More than a little,” Paul shoots back, “But don’t worry.”

Paul's bright eyes have mischief in them as you scoot a little closer to him.

“Why not?” you whisper, not missing the way he’s leaning in as well. That's when you feel Marko against your back.

“Because we look at you like that too,” and he closes the gap, kissing you roughly on the mouth. His stubble scratches against you slightly, knowing if this keeps happening your skin will be rubbed raw by the time you have to sleep. But you pull away, regaining your senses momentarily.

“Wait… Wait, are we doing this for real?” You watch Paul’s mouth melt into a lopsided grin as he nods eagerly, then look to Marko behind you, who has something intense in his eyes, a single nod.

“Alright,” you concede, grabbing your beer from the floor between your feet and chugging the rest of it, throwing the can whoever knows where, “Let's do this boys.”

They descend upon you, not unlike a fresh kill. Paul’s hands fly up to your face, first cupping your cheeks before tangling themselves in your hair, Marko groping at you before unbuttoning the flannel you were wearing and ripping it off of your body to discard it. Neither of them are gentle, but they don’t have to be. As a member of their coven they know they won’t break you.  Paul’s tongue delves into your mouth, leaving no single tooth or gum unexplored, he kisses like unwrapping a present, holding you in place like if he doesn’t you’ll slip away from him. Marko on the other hand attaches himself to your shoulder and neck, mouthing at you before biting down.

You almost yelp before it melts into a moan, quickly swallowed by Paul and his roaming tongue. Paul continues, gently pulling at your hair as your hands roam his chest, while Marko’s hands paw at your chest.

“Think you want some more of us?” Marko asks, his voice a low growl, the sound muffled as he’s attached to the bite he’s made. You’ve been told that vampire’s feeding on each other is the most powerful aphrodisiac on earth, and you have a feeling you’ll discover the effects of it tonight. You nod, and Paul pulls his mouth from yours.

“Stand up sweetheart,” Paul tells you, and you obey without even wanting to ask why he wants you to. He leads you over to the couch, and he himself lays down on it, facing the ceiling with a wide grin.

“Climb aboard!” he shouts, driving the point home by slapping the sides of his face with both hands. Marko is behind you again, unbuttoning your shorts and pulling them down to the ground before you can do it for yourself. You lean into his touch, letting his hands roam your body, a moan leaving your lips as his fingers reach your cunt, teasingly rubbing against you, but not delving into you the way you want.

“She’s wet for us, Paul!” he calls, as if you’re not even standing there. It feels like you’re a plaything for them, but thats not true. They can’t mistreat you, because they’ve got you with them for eternity. You whimper into his touch, and he kisses you sweetly.

“I’m gonna treat you real good, y/n, and so is Paul. But if you don’t like anything, say so. You’re one of us, and we don’t wanna make you sad.”

Its like he knew everything you were just feeling, and pushed it all away gently. You whisper “okay” and a contract is sealed.

Marko guides you over to Paul, who has shed nothing but his jacket. You raise one leg, carefully straddling his face. Paul wants none of that, quickly grabbing your hips and pulling him right down onto his mouth. On first contact, his mouth is already open, tongue seeking to split you open immediately. His tongue seeks out your clit first, flicking the bundle of nerves making you almost jolt forward, but Marko is there to hold you in place. Paul licks and sucks at you like a man starved, moaning into you and making you shake above him. His arms hold you firmly, any of your squirming and bucking no use against his mouth. It feels amazing, all of your nerves feeling like static on edge as you feel your release embarrassingly near already. Paul moves from your clit to your wet cunt, and back again.

Your hands shake as you grab onto Marko for some form of stability, sliding down to his belt and gasping as you undo it. He carelessly lets his jeans fall once you get them past his hips, letting you paw at his cock greedily while he smiles down at you.

“How’s she taste, Paul?”

Paul speaks, muffled by you and sending shockwaves up your core.

“Alright!” Marko exclaims, and his hand catches your jaw, first slowly prying it open, then moving to press his thumb down against your tongue. His eyebrow quirks in a silent question, and you answer by closing your lips around him and sucking on the digit. He steps forward and removes his thumb so he can replace it with himself. He’s hard as a rock, and thick, with precum already leaking from the tip, which you greedily lick as he sighs. What a beautiful noise, you think as your lips wrap around the head of his cock and you sink down as far as you can. Never being one to back down, you try to take him as far back into your throat as you can, head bobbing as he moans and talks.

“Oh fuck, baby, just like that.” You swallow around him and he moans.

“Who taught you how to blow like that? Holy shit,” as his hand wraps around your hair.

All of his moaning and praising spurring you on as Paul abandons his ministrations and switches to fucking you with his tongue. What a fucking relief it feels to have something inside you, and you instinctively clench down on him, chasing any sensation you can. He doesn’t let up, tongue moving at an unmerciful speed as you-

Shockwaves hit your system as your body spasms, orgasm overtaking you by surprise, your scream muffled by Marko’s cock at the back of your throat, and he laughs. You almost gag as he pulls out of you, Paul not trying to be gentle as his tongue fucks you through your high.

“That was so fucking sexy, oh I wish you could see your face right now. Paul, I wish you could see her too! She’s wrecked.”

He’s probably right, you can feel the tears wet on your cheeks, your mascara probably running. You caught a glimpse of the line of drool from your lips as his cock left your mouth.

Paul finally slows down as your shaking dies down into tiny shivers, Marko holding you firmly by the shoulders, presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Let me in?” he whispers, and you nod, not yet over your first orgasm but already wanting to feel that again. He lifts you up slightly, and Pauls big hands finally release your thighs to let you move. He slides out from under you, slapping your ass playfully as he stands up to take Marko’s original spot in front of you. His hands come up to cup your cheeks again as he kisses you, slowly this time to let you savor the taste of yourself on your own tongue. You inhale sharply against his mouth as Marko’s fingers enter you without warning. Just as soon as they enter, they’re gone. Then you hear him.

“You’re right, Paul, delicious.”

Paul hums against your lips, then releases you. You can hear Marko undressing as Paul asks,

“You wanna bite?” To feed from him, another vampire. You nod, again never being one to back down, and he pushes his hair aside to offer you his neck. Your arms come up around him as you get a good angle, kissing him a few times open mouthed and sloppy before you sink your teeth in.

t’s divine. Heat you almost forgot existed flows through your veins renewed, and your skin feels so aware of everything. The cool wind of the cave, the worn mesh of his tank top, the rough material of the couch that would have given you rug burn if you had a pulse. Just as you fully start to feel the effects of Paul’s blood, you feel Marko line himself up with your entrance, again entering you without warning. This time you feel him stretch you, his thickness deliciously painful. You scream against Paul’s skin, but it quickly turns into a low growl. You feel animalistic, wanting to push back against Marko’s hips as you take Paul in your mouth. Want to fully give yourself over to this and to them.

Marko feels your ass pushing back against him, and squeezes it playfully, before his arm wraps around your waist and pulls you back down against the arm of the couch.

It’s only when you start to undo Paul’s pants that Marko starts to fuck you, he starts out slow, then abandons his initial pace for a much more vigorous one.

He fucks you harshly, pulling almost all the way out before slamming himself back in as you take Paul deep into your throat like you did Marko. Paul isn’t as thick as Marko, but just as long. As you swallow around him, tongue massaging the underside of his cock, you wonder what it would be like to feel both of them in you at the same time. One hand reaches up to massage his balls and he keens at your touch, begging quietly for more. You’d experimented a lot, but never with two people at once. The thought was overwhelming, almost as overwhelming as Marko pistoning behind you. It's when his hand reaches beneath your legs that you can't control the wanton moans escaping your throat.

“She’s close,” Marko tells Paul, “This tight little pussy keeps squeezing me.”

Paul laughs, and then looks down at you,

“Can I get some too, pretty?”

You nod enthusiastically before pulling off of Paul’s cock with a pop of your lips. Not missing how you whine when Marko pulls out of you, Paul discards his clothes quickly before rushing to return his attention to you. He rubs your clit with his fingers while he asks,

“So how do you want us now?” You have the control, now you’re certain of it. At first you weren’t sure, the way they passed you around, the way they talked around you. But it’s all for you. You feel comfortable asking.

“Can I-“ Your voice comes out more watery and lost than you expected, “Can I have you both? Marko where he was and you in my ass?”

The men share a glance, eyes wide. Apparently they hadn’t expected that from you, but nonetheless they eagerly agree, grinning ear to ear as they kiss up and down your chest and face while they reposition. Marko lays down on the couch where Paul was, and you quickly position yourself to sink down onto his cock, moaning all the while. You stay there, still and waiting for Paul as he climbs up behind you. A strong arm pulls you down to rest against Marko’s chest as Paul preps your ass. You can’t help but whine as he inserts a finger, and then two into the second hole and starts scissoring his fingers. The added pressure against Marko’s cock inside you is already almost too much to bear, and you might finish before they even get a chance to get started in this position. You can feel Marko groping at your chest with the arm not around you, pinching your nipple before rolling it between his fingers.

“Paul, please,” you pant, begging to bite off more than you can chew from this. And he obliges, very slowly removing his fingers and pressing the head of his cock against your ass, sinking in slowly, inch by inch, centimeter by centimeter until he bottoms out. You have to concentrate not to scream and come right then and there. All of it, the sensation is so much, but still somehow you crave more.

“You good, babe?” Paul asks.

“She feels fucking good,” Marko responds, and you nod, worried that words will fail you. The both move slowly within you. Both of them panting and moaning as much as you, your muscles squeezing them as all three of you try to hold out and savor the moment. Two sets of lips attach themselves to your neck, one on both sides, and they both find purchase biting down on the skin there and lapping at the blood they draw, moaning in ecstasy at the taste. They work up a rhythm, moving in tandem against you, and you lose it first, orgasm crashing against you like the waves against Hudson’s bluff. You scream both of their names, begging for something unknown as they work you through your high, both of them reaching their’s almost right after you.

Spent and overstimulated, you fall limp against Marko, and he very gently pulls out of you, Paul follows suit much more slowly, careful not to hurt you. They move only to let you rest and lay down on the couch while they clean you and themselves up, finding some semblance of their clothes and blanket.

You’re breathless as they both finally come back to lay down with you, sandwiching you between the two of them, both of them pressing their chests against you. Paul wipes your hair from your sweaty forehead as Marko rests his cheek against your shoulder-blade.

“Did you like that, baby?” Paul asks, voice quiet and almost shaky.

You nod gingerly, bites against your neck sore.

“Good, because we definitely wanna do that with you again,” Marko mumbles, himself spent as well.

You like the sound of that, you think, as you pull them both closer.