#but gypsy is just. objectively so fun

[pinescent-and-gingerbread]

Hello, can I request Arthur x fem!Reader?

I was thinking of this: reader tries to teach how to play guitar to Arthur but it'll be kinda chaotic,something sweet and fun. I had this idea while listening to Javier singing cielito lindo.

Byee <3

࣪ ˖✧ Musical Interlude

✦ Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader ✦ Warnings/tags: None/pure fluff and silliness. ✦ Words: 1,9k ✦ a/n: Alright here it is, I hope you'll like it! NB: I made Arthur right-handed in this when canonically he seems to be ambidextrous; just thought it would be more convenient this way. As a guitar player myself, I loved writing this! (Arthur's pic is from my playthrough, guitar's pic from interest.)

Lately, life had been a little bit easier at camp. People were well-fed thanks to Mr. Pearson and the boys hunting copious amounts of animals, the swamps right next to Shady Belle providing unexpected resources like shrimps, alligator's eggs, or even 'gators themselves if one was bold enough to hunt them (which was definitely the case for some of the risk-takers in the gang.).

Jack had been saved and safely returned to his mother by John, Dutch, and Arthur a few days ago, and it definitely participated in keeping the mood bright and cheerful since his return party.

You were in a particularly happy mood yourself on this sunny afternoon, sitting on one of the boxes around the main campfire, tents and the usual mess of belongings specific to every camp containing a large amount of people surrounding you, making you feel at home. You liked this heterogeneous gathering of people's stuff; Hosea's book next to Dutch's almost extinguished cigar, little rocks Jack had gathered next to Charle's arrows, a half-eaten plate of stew abandoned there by John next to a letter that was probably Lenny's.

You liked this funny combination of objects; it made the camp feel full of life, homey, and convivial. It made you feel even more joyful.

"Hey Javier, you in the mood for a duo ?" You asked your charming Hispanic companion who had just finished eating on the big log around the campfire, putting his plate away.

"Always, mi princesa." The man happily answered, grabbing his guitar and yours that was carefully tidied just behind his and Uncle's banjo. He handed it to you, a big smile on his face.

You grabbed your instrument and placed it on your lap, left hand naturally placing itself around its neck, fingers pressing on the strings to warm them up a bit. Javier and you had always loved playing together; playing an instrument was already funny in normal times, but with another musician, it was even better. You could share the music, talk with each other in a language known only by artists, respond and play with each other in notes and phrases.

The dark-haired man had started playing an upbeat strumming, a fast, gypsy-like rhythm. You liked it, he was carrying you to allow you to solo on his rhythm. You gladly obliged, little grin on your face as your fingers danced on the neck, your other hand skillfully picking the right string every time, creating a harmonious melody on top of your friend's notes.

Some of the other members had gathered around you to listen, some whistling along as you played. Uncle was having the time of his life listening to you both, clapping his hands in rhythm. In the little group watching the show you were putting on, you noticed Arthur, subtle smile on his face, sipping on a cup of coffee, arms half-crossed. God, he was so beautiful even just like this, on a simple afternoon at camp, blue eyes bright with the light of the sun, light brown hair matching a sandy color flannel he had rolled up his elbows. You almost lost your rhythm when your eyes lingered on his bare forearms, and you quickly focused back on what you were doing, a sheepish little smile on your face.

After a prolonged moment of musical interlude, Javier thanked you and went back on with his day, explaining something about going fishing, which didn't surprise you. You were strumming mindlessly now, playing a little melody that was coming to you on the spot instead of an actual song. Most of the gang members walked off, some started around the campfire with you. Of course, Uncle was the first to sit on the white chair next to Javier's green tent, the old man had almost taken up residence on it; then came Hosea, opening a book as often after lunch, and finally Arthur, who came sitting right next to you on the blue box next to the brown one you were sat on, his cup of coffee left emptied on the floor.

You smiled at him, happy he wanted to rest for a while; it was rare for him to just come and sit by the fire, in fact, you were surprised he was even in camp on an afternoon at all, considering he was almost every day on a job or out hunting, coming back only for dinners and nights.

"Mr Morgan." You welcomed him with a sweet smile. Your mood was even brighter than before with him by your side.

"Miss Y/N..." He greeted you back, shifting a bit on the box, as if he was getting nervous. "You an' Javier play really well..." He began, deep voice drawling, always like he was taking his time to talk.

"Thanks, Arthur!" You claimed, genuinely happy he had liked it. With Arthur's usual poker face, it was sometimes hard to know what he was actually enjoying or not.

"I was wonderin'... Erm... Maybe..." He muttered under his breath, his eyes usually sharp and eager to make eye contact were now running away from yours. You could tell he was embarrassed, that piqued your curiosity and even softened your heart. He looked so cute like this.

"Yes...?" You inquired with an encouraging tone, offering him a reassuring smile, wanting him to understand he had nothing to feel embarrassed for.

"Maybe, you could show me some chords? I always wanted t' learn..." He probed you with a soft and interrogative tone. In a way, you had always liked how he acted more carefully and calmly around you.

"Oh! I would love to, Arthur." Your cheerful answer along with your enthusiasm made him crack up a big smile. Your heart felt lighter at this sight.

You gently offered him your instrument, placing it on his own lap.

"Alright, so. When you're right-handed, you put your left hand on the neck, and your right one on the strings." You explained to him, Arthur placing his hands where you told him, holding your guitar as carefully as if it was a newborn.

"Perfect. Now you need to pinch the strings to make a chord. For that, your fingers need to press this way-" You showed him by gesturing your fingers, curling them in the position they were supposed to have on the guitar. "What's good with you is that you already have calloused hands, so it won't hurt too much when pressing the strings."

Arthur tried to place them as you showed, but every time he tried he kept on letting them fall flat on the other strings; which made you laugh a bit.

"You need to curl them more, Arthur, or else we won't hear all the strings." You instructed him, and he chuckled a bit himself.

"Ah, this is more difficult than I thought..." He confessed in an amused tone, making fun of his own inexperience.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Just... Put them..." You bent over to him and gently used both your hands to make him properly grab the neck, and place his fingers how you wanted. "...This way."

Arthur tried to hold this position but it just felt so unnatural for his hand to be tensed like that. On top of that, your proximity and the soft touch of your fingers against his skin were definitely not helping making him more focused, not even mentioning how he could smell your delicate perfume when being close like this.

"A-Alright... Then ?" He asked you, trying to learn some more and focus back on the instrument, not his owner.

"Then, you strum the strings with your right hand, from up to down at first." You explained head tilted towards said hand, waiting for him to make a move.

Arthur did as you told, his fingers strumming way too hard, resulting in a horrible dissonant chord considering most of his fingers had moved on his left hand. You couldn't hold back a laugh at the sound he had made, and he followed you, feeling so ridiculous right now.

"Ah, damnit..."

"Arthur, you don't have to beat up the damn guitar!" You joked in between giggles, unable to contain yourself at the sight of the great Arthur Morgan struggling to play an instrument.

"This... Damned thing is sneaky; thought it was easy when lookin' at ya..." He mumbled, obviously frustrated by not succeeding, but also still a little amused at himself, the corner of his lips curling in a slight grin.

"Told you, you'll get used to it. You just have to keep playin'..."

As if to prove he could do it, Arthur tried again, but his index finger had moved again and was pinching the wrong string. When he tried strumming again, less softly, the chord began nicely, and both of you smiled triumphantly... Until the last string, when a terrible bum note ruined all his efforts.

You looked into his eyes, mouth trembling as you forced yourself not to burst out in laughter; he looked so frustrated, but the moment his eyes crossed yours, you both succumbed and exploded in a cacophony of laughing.

Hosea and Uncle had turned their head to your improbable duo, the sight of Arthur trying his best but miserably failing at hitting the good notes making them laugh too. Hosea's gaze caught yours, with this small knowing grin so typical of him, and you blushed a bit. Was it that obvious that you were spending the best afternoon trying to teach your beloved outlaw to play your favorite instrument?

"Y/N, I think it's useless, I'm way too shitty at this..." He admitted, a small but deep chuckle escaping from his chest.

"No no no, I told you before, you just need some practice. Look..."

You got up from the box and placed yourself right in front of him, grabbing each of his hands with each of yours. With your right one, you positioned his index and middle fingers properly to play the simplest chord, the E minor.

With your right hand, you gently guided his from up to down, making the tips of his fingers gently brush every string.

The chord finally ended up sounding right from start to finish, and Arthur let out a triumphant and sharp "Ah!", looking genuinely so happy it sounded good. You smiled fondly at him. How could a so violent and rough man look so adorable and goofy right now?

"See? You can do it." You asserted him, looking up at him in the eyes.

"Thank you miss, you did all the work..." He acknowledged, still smiling, the subtlest red covering his cheeks.

In the background, Hosea and Uncle were looking at each other with this specific look that was saying "There's definitely something between these two but we're not going to say anything".

You and Arthur spend another long moment trying to make him learn the simplest chords, those that require only two or three fingers. You two would crack up smile and laugh every time he would play a wrong chord, and honestly, it was the best day for you both in a long time.

As the sun was setting down, Arthur sighed deeply, realizing he hadn't done anything considered productive yet, spending his afternoon playing with you. He slowly handed you back your guitar, a gentle expression on his face.

"Thank you for your patience, darlin'. I don't know how you're dealin' with this awful skills of mine..."

"Come on, you've made some progress! Keep on training, Arthur. I'm sure you'll soon be the most famous player in the West, on top of being its fastest gunslinger. " You encouraged him, face as pleasant and lovely as a sweet peach on a hot summer day.

Your words made Arthur snort a last amused chuckle.

"You're puttin' too much hope on me, Miss." He concluded with an amused smile before leaving you, heart lighter, ideas brighter than when he had begun his day.

Arthur knew he wouldn't be very talented at guitar, but he also was certain he was going to ask you to teach him again some other day, and he would make sure to play more wrong notes, just to have the sweet opportunity to feel your tender touch on him again.

[batsplat]

Thank you for typing all that out!!!! I was like they had beef??? But it makes sense. I was listening to Casey on the gypsy tale podcast, he mentioned how he was envious of Marc/Vale who had no fear of the track. Makes sense that Marc - the limit of the bike is when I crash - and him would clash even if it wasn't malicious or personal.

(about this) haha no problem! and yeah for sure I don't think it's anything particularly malicious and it's not even BEEF as much as a low-level grudge, the kind of thing that naturally bubbles up when you have athletes' egos existing within a team structure. though I do think the stuff you mention (ie marc's approach to the sport) is something that never did become much of an issue between the two of them, but only because... well they weren't on-track rivals

ofc that's one of motogp's biggest 'what ifs' - what if we'd actually seen casey and marc compete - so none of this is particularly original, but, look, it's a fun one to discuss! casey's for the most part been pretty schtum about marc's actual races and various controversies, but has on occasion mentioned not necessarily being the biggest fan of marc's approach, eg (from 2013):

the "humiliate them" bit is most interesting to me - does feel a similar vibe to some of his complaints about valentino's propensity for mind games. the implications of marc wanting to humiliate opponents would be that for marc, it's not just about just wanting to win, it's about what effect he's having on rivals, about wanting to mess with them

so I - like everyone else - can only IMAGINE what it would've been like if casey had actually had to live the full marc marquez experience. it's a respectful relationship irl because it's a rivalry that never actually got to play out, so casey doesn't have any real motivation to criticise marc much beyond low stakes honda hijinks. and marc probably would have enjoyed getting the chance to race casey, but from casey's side? eh

obviously casey's issues with valentino's riding standards are pretty well-documented (as well as his issues with other rivals, including a younger jorge) (and various somewhat less significant figures, like him and his buddy in 125cc giving alex de angelis the truly terrible nickname of 'alex dangerous'. casey please). marc is relentlessly aggressive in a way casey would not have enjoyed at all, and would've also objected to on grounds of principle. the fearlessness thing you mention from that very very long podcast episode is interesting to me, because yes casey would have liked to emulate that in some ways... but he does also have his issues with riders who ride without fear to the extent that they don't care about their own safety. from his autobiography, explaining his increasing disillusionment with MotoGP:

The most fitting tribute to [Simoncelli's] memory shouldn't have been a plaque by the side of the track where he lost his life, but a real change in the way riders respect each other and respect the limits. Unfortunately, I don't feel that this happened. I have always been very aware of what can happen in this sport, which is why I have always shown respect to my fellow racers. You might not like the person next to you on the grid but you have to be aware that if an accident happens, anyone can be hurt or killed. Sometimes young riders are so desperate to win that they forget what's most important. They get built up so much that they start to believe the hype, they feel invincible. Nobody is, especially in bike racing. And if a rider doesn't care about his own safety then it stands to reason he doesn't care about anybody else's either. Don't get me wrong, MotoGP is as safe as it has ever been in terms of the gravel traps, circuit layouts and rider equipments, but the fact that certain riders were still putting others at risk even after Marco's death bothered me a lot.

which, yup, can't see casey being a fan of marc. he's got some very ironclad beliefs when it comes to riding standards and the importance of rivals respecting each other and what that looks like on track in terms of hard racing - it's just an outlook and approach that would always have clashed with marc's. (also, yeah, like casey admits, it does just scare him! laguna seca 2008 wasn't fun for him because he was worried about his safety! which is entirely understandable, but I can't imagine if that's the case he'd feel particularly comfortable or indeed safe racing marc marquez.) on marc's side, even in 2013 he was pretty good at shrugging off these kind of critiques from his rivals, including ofc from dani and especially jorge that year. so maybe it'd be mostly one-way antipathy, but probably not all that pleasant for anyone involved. livio suppo said back in 2020 that casey would've suffered a lot from marc's personality, and also in 2023 said this:

I don't really agree with suppo about 2008 and it does lean into the frustrating trope (which casey also chafed against in his autobiography) that seeks to explain all of casey's struggles and defeats by what was going on in his head. like, I do think he would've done a good job fighting marc! he would've won plenty of their duels, even when they were fighting wheel-to-wheel! he did say repeatedly after laguna seca 2008 that if something like that happened again, he wouldn't roll over for valentino (unfortunately we never really had the chance to properly test this but oh well)! he just wouldn't have enjoyed it, which is kinda why he retired in the first place

basically, they respect each other just fine because they never had the chance to fight on track. if they HAD fought on track, things would've inevitably been more fraught, not least because of their very different approaches to racing, as well as how by marc's own admission he's an asshole as a teammate. that difference in approaches is where the 'fearlessness' of marc comes in, and not in a good way for that relationship. who knows how it would have all turned out

just one more thing - marc is actually asked about the "he wants to humiliate them" quote in a presser, but unfortunately the question is formulated in a kinda messy way so marc doesn't really end up directly addressing the comments. though my guess is at least one person present understood exactly what casey was getting at:

[bit-odd-innit]

Please elaborate on the “Sondheim fan Steve” and “villain voice over Eddie” I love it so much I didn’t know I needed this before but it’s amazing

@tuvens WELL IF YOU INSIST. Steve wouldn't call him a musical fan, he doesn't dislike them but the only ones he knows are like Grease and Bye Bye Birdie etc. But when he was a kid his mother took him to see a touring production of Gypsy as a bid to expose him to "more culture," not thinking that that's objectively an insane show for a mother to bring her child to. And Steve liked it, more than he's liked other musicals, but mostly he liked that his mom was sharing something she loved with him. Then he caught West Side Story airing as the late night movie and he was like "oh! That's the same guy!" And he starts seeking out more of his work, at first because he thought this could be his and his mom's Thing and eventually because he found himself genuinely connecting to the lyrics and the rhythm of the music and it scratched an itch he couldn't explain. His mom grew distant and then this thing he he thought could be for Them is now just a thing for Him, this secret thing he loves and cherish and makes him feel Seen. Also something something Steve's mom being the one to introduce him to Sondheim and Sondheim exploring his relationship with his abusive mother through his work look if I love a fictional boy I've GOT to give him a complicated relationship with his mother I just GOT to.

Semi-related I have this idea that Steve likes a lot of oldies, a lot of Motown and pop from the 60s and early 70s. It's not his favorite genre but it's the one he listened to most growing up so he's got a soft spot for it.

VO Eddie: I imagine he had a pretty successful music career so he's already an established name, so when there's a gap between albums and tours he decides to do a guest spot on some kids show for fun, let's say Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It's a goofy episode where the Turtles are trying to stop Shredder from disrupting a concert and Eddie is playing himself, it was just supposed to be a straightforward cameo but he hams it up and makes his cartoon self much more of a diva, leans into the bratty rock star persona and has everyone in the booth howling cause it's so much better than what was scripted. And it's so much fun he loves it, he starts taking on more voice-acting jobs and he's good at it. It gets to the point where he becomes more well-known for voicing cheesy-terrifying villains than his music, which suits him fine. I said this in the tags of the last post but I basically want to give him Mark Hamill's career, I want him to have his Joker or his Fire Lord Ozai, I want him to be the type of VO where you see his name in the cast and you're like oh HELL yeah this is going to FUCK.

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

Practicing Prose

My three little humans somehow are in the same season of Cancer, and the arrangement of our lives is different in a lot of ways than I was used to in my own childhood. There's a lot of transition and sometimes a lot of chaos and we all have to get used to each other and sometimes it's hard to adjust. Learning their languages and personalities is always so fun to me. I love watching how they change. We're all walking trees growing together in the forest of human life. I love my little saplings.

I think of them as different colors, because in our neuro-spicy household everyone has really different needs and life goes easier when everyone practices compassion and respect. We trees don't always show our best leaves, and sometimes we don't show our best colors. We also need different amounts of sun and water. For example, Fiona and I are more peace and harmony seeking, and my sons are far more sensory seeking and their kinetic energy is often more physical.

This can create conflict and ugly dynamics.

And screaming. So. Much. Screaming.

For Fi and I, our kinetic energy is in our brains so we like to sit in quiet or do something quiet to hear all the different thoughts and perspectives in our head and spread them out and see where they go together in a nice way. She's way more social than I am. I am social in weird bursts.

I suppressed so much of my sensitivity for so long that it literally took my children to teach me how to find it again. I'm still kind of embarrassed when they see the confused and stressed out version of myself, or when I lash out in anger or in shame or just act human instead of the Mother archetype I want to embody and model. It is scary for my body still to be around too many people or even trust close connections. Object permeance is one of my biggest struggles.

As a gypsy in my bloodline and soul, can you really blame me? My consciousness feels like the river Danube, always flowing into ideas that turn into different creeks and brooks and springs. What were you saying? Sorry, you said something about Andromeda and an entire hyperfocus constellation of my brain just lit up with dopamine and if I don't figure out why it's lighting up I will lose this concept that would be fascinating to know through some kind of creative expression. Do you know what song that reminds me of? Drops of Jupiter.

Everyone speaks a different language and the formula is just time and learning and being willing to understand.

But also take no shit.

Still kind of working on balancing my swords.

[crownprincessoftherusalkas]

Spells & Caramels

Spells & Caramels is a fantasy mystery series about a (poor, unfortunate soul) gal named Imogen Banks, a humble aspiring baker who experiences some of the most extreme plot highs and lows known to man. These include 1. Almost achieving her dreams, 2. An apartment fire, 3. Discovering that magic is real, 4. People unexpectedly dying or disappearing, 5. Fairytale princes.

I've only read the first two books so far (Seashells, Spells & Caramels; Black Arts, Tarts & Gypsy Carts) but I'm having fun.

The best way I can put it is if Disney didn't shy away from fantasy violence...and regular violence. 

Imogen is a sweetheart, but not to the extent of being a Mary-Sue. She helps people and gets involved in tough situations, but she also considers her options beforehand. Her conscience wins out over feelings of dread, usually well-founded.

We've got magic the likes of Sleeping Beauty's Three Good Fairies, where people just casually enchant objects to move on their own, animal shapeshifters, vampires, psychics, mermaids, disguises, The Rare Type of Magic Person, along with rebellions, strife between factions, royal plots, attempted kidnappings and assassinations.

All in all its very interesting and fun to read!

[clumsyclifford]

hello bella i would like to ask you about future hearts, not in chronological order, and stories for monday -hazel

WAIT i pressed send too early i also wanted to throw a curveball and ask about the newsies original broadway cast recording :) -hazel

yeesh you picked some good ones hazel. okay. i'm gonna put a cut because four albums is a Lot.

send me albums!

future hearts - all time low

the first song from this album I heard: uhhhhhhh i don't remember, but i......hesitantly......say.......cinderblock garden. but i have no idea why i say that. no i don't really know at all.

do I own the album?: nope

my favorite song: don't you go but also if we're counting b-sides which we should be then how the story ends. and........edge of tonight. and runaways. i know that's a lot of songs i don't care.

my least favorite song: satellite i like it but it's unremarkable compared to the rest of the album and the structure of it is just a little weird to me

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: there were two future hearts songs that for some inexplicable reason didn't download when i bought the album on itunes back in like 2015 when i used itunes and this album came out so i just didnt know they existed for several months, and those songs were bail me out and edge of tonight. this isnt really relevant since i love both of those songs but i just wanted to share. i guess...i think runaways has grown on me. honestly i think thats a result of including it in baby driver fic, lmao

a song I used to like, but now don’t: well i used to LOVE cinderblock garden and now as you can see i don't list it among my favorites. and the same with dancing with a wolf. and for that matter, also satellite lol

my favorite lyric: another impossible question <3 this doesnt really count but the line in tidal waves "say i'm your filthy little, filthy little-" always makes me smile bc when i was younger and my older sister and i would listen to that song whenever we got to that part we'd both yell WHORE at the top of our lungs. and in fact i still do. real talk though, i think the bridge of missing you might be my favorite lyric in here. "grit your teeth, pull your hair, paint the walls black, and scream 'FUCK the world 'cause it's my life, i'm gonna take it back' and never for a second blame yourself" yeah thats the GOOD shit. WAIT I LIE I HAVE ANOTHER ONE: "beautiful scars on critical veins" (mmm and also "roll like thunder, burn like stars") from kids in the dark. mmmm. and all of edge of tonight. man this album has some gooooooood gaskarth lines.

overall rating out of 10: honestly? 10/10. even with satellite. this is such a good fucking album i constantly underrate it but i love it so much it can do no wrong

not in chronological order - julia michaels (this one is gonna be trickier because i haven't listened to the whole album that many times but i'm gonna put it on while i answer the rest of these so hopefully i can have some real opinions here)

the first song from this album I heard: it would've been lie like this i think, because that song was out before any of the other singles

do I own the album?: nope :)

my favorite song: that's the kind of woman, pessimist, lie like this, all your exes. i really LOVE about half this album and the other half i just don't really know well enough

my least favorite song: orange magic just Does Not do it for me. idk man

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: well i'm very much still working on familiarizing myself with these songs so i might still be in the phase of "didn't like at first" (betcha anything orange magic will grow on me lmao). there aren't any songs that i've changed my opinion on at least not yet

a song I used to like, but now don’t: see previous answer lol

my favorite lyric: "i love myself, but i'd love her more; that's the kind of woman i'd leave me for" from that's the kind of woman (that shit HITS), also "i'll stop checking horoscopes to cope with all my misery" and "you took a pessimist and turned me into something else" from pessimist because it gives me a lot of hope. and "it was you before i ever decided" from little did i know because :') romance

overall rating out of 10: 8/10 miss michaels KNOWS an album. this would probably be higher if not for orange magic lmao

stories for monday - the summer set

the first song from this album I heard: according to my spotify, all my friends! the first time i listened to this album was on shuffle while writing a prompt fic that was entirely unrelated. i know, it's appalling.

do I own the album?: no <3

my favorite song: MMMNNGNHHGJ i think. i think it's figure me out. and missin' you. yeah. those two

my least favorite song: honest to god i want to say all downhill from here but the little bass riff at the end of that song basically forbids me from saying that. so i'm gonna say change your mind instead. it's the vibiest but thats not why we COME to stories for monday now is it

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: don't know, maybe all in? i can't remember ever not liking one of these songs tbh. ironically maybe the answer to this is change your mind lol

a song I used to like, but now don’t: well i listened to all my friends about five million times when i wrote that fic based on it so it's in the same situation as i think he knows now. i need a little bit of an all my friends break.

my favorite lyric: bro this is literally an impossible fuckign QUESTION!! the entirety of figure me out. "i'm a bit too punk for the pop kids, but i'm too pop for the punk kids" and "i believe there's more to life than all my problems" both are really close to my heart. the bridge of all in about it being 4am in the parking lot we'll be singing blink songs til the sun comes up, that too. wait wait okay and also: "forever nineteen somehow" from jean jacket and "growing up can make you stupid, why is everyone so scared?" from wasted. okay okay i'm done i'm done

overall rating out of 10: fucking 11/10 bro this is in my top 10 albums ever i'm pretty sure

newsies - original broadway cast recording

the first song from this album I heard: no fuckin idea. it must have been the overture because i never listened to the cast recording before watching the bootleg so!

do I own the album?: i do not

my favorite song: mmm i. LOVE once and for all. but i also love watch what happens reprise. and brooklyn's here. and carrying the banner. ugh fuck i love so many of these songs.

my least favorite song: the bottom line reprise lmfao easy

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: i don't know, i guess i like the bottom line a LITTLE more than i used to but it's a very low bar. wait actually, the overture. i have a much greater appreciation for an overture than i used to.

a song I used to like, but now don’t: i honestly can't think of one. maybe similar effect to something to believe in? i like it SLIGHTLY less but i still really like it so?

my favorite lyric: EASY answer, this lyric is among my favorites in all of musical theatre, i had it written on my mirror for a long time in high school. this part from seize the day: "behold the brave battalion that stands side by side / too few in number and too proud to hide / then say to the others who did not follow through / 'you're still our brothers, and we will fight for you'"

overall rating out of 10: 9/10. fucking banger of an album. i always say this is the best cast recording for a car ride and i stand by that

[zergula]

Welcome to River Falls!

Located in New England, River Falls started out as Fall River. Due to a terrible murder that rocked this small town, the community decided a new name and new start would be perfect! With the new influx of citizens coming from Binland, the town is sure to thrive again and put the past behind them.

INTERESTING CHARACTERS

Dolls Of The World - TenderWolf did a great series where they made sims with houses from around the world. You can find them in her studio HERE 

Refugees From Binland (slightly edited by me) - Hopelessly confined to the land of your Sims 3 bin, they have finally broken free. You've seen them in your bin, now see them in your town!

The Rucker Family - transplants from Ackney-Upon-Sherne, a world collaboration by some of my very favorite builders on The Sims 3 forum.

The Dey Family - more transplants from the AUS project

The Byrne Family - they own the town mortuary and it seems like they've been in this town since the beginning of time!

Lots of newly graduated sims from University are here - Faith Roland, Anoki Moon, and Walter Fullman

Matthew Hamming and Barry Tenderlove have decided to try a little slower life in River Falls and have left Bridgeport far behind!

Lottie And Colt fell in love and ran away to River Falls so they can finally be together. Will they make it?

The Myth Family - A witchy mom, vampire dad, fairy daughter, and werewolf son who promise to only use their supernatural forces for good!

TOWN LOTS

There is a lot for your sims to do in town! There are 114 lots in total. 72 Residential and 42 community.

All rabbitholes - except any for Pets

The Warehouse - slightly edited by me Private Venue from Showtime

Wheely's Roll And Bowl -  A Dance Club/Bowling Alley/Skating Rink built by me.

Flying V's Coffeehouse (EA)

Pub Tahiti - A fun local watering hole for your sims right on the beach!

Sudsy Laundromat (EA)

Film Studio

Performance Park (EA)

Ye Olde Pub - A dive bar built by me 

Fire Station - slightly edited by me

Business Square - small park by me

River Falls Swap Shop - Consignment store

Wyeth Institute - a small art gallery built by me 

Nectar Is Necessary - a nectary built by me 

Pirates Of The Caribbean - A fun rebel hangout built by Romagi for the Disney Magic Kingdom collaboration on the forums. I added a pool and made it a poolside club on the beach!

Crowe's Nest Festival Grounds (EA)

1 Beach

A New Attitude - Salon and Tattoo shop built by me 

Vibe by Catdog123 - a bright and fun arcade

Science Tech Center - a place your sims can go to work on bots, invent something new, work on their science skill, or hold a conference or meeting. 

Bot Emporium (EA)

Blazing Hoops Court  by Catdog123 - a hangout where you can shoot some hoops!

River Falls Library

The Sportsing Place - a sports bar built by me 

Get Pumped! - a small gym built by me 

Tropical Swim Club - small pool

Hanashobu - A teahouse and Martial Arts Academy by Catdog123. It is absolutely beautiful and I use it in almost every single one of my saves and have for years. It was originally just a teahouse on the first floor, but I added the dojo on the second floor and koi pond. 

River Falls Pond - Fishing spot

Penelope's Potions - Elixir Consignment store

Tahoe Wilderness Cabin - this is a gorgeous rustic cabin that I have set as a resort. It doesn't have any resort objects on it yet as I figured most would want to edit their resort the way they would like. You can also set it back as a regular lot if you would like to use it as a home. It is fully decorated and furnished. EDIT TO ADD: LOL, it’s also backwards. I have no idea how I missed that. To flip it, save a copy in your bin, delete the lot, then replace the right way with the saved lot from your bin. My apologies, I can’t believe I messed that up eeesh!

The Haunt - A supernatural hangout that includes the Vault, Arboretum, and Gypsy Wagon.

Firehouse 9 - A firehouse themed dance club

Penny Pictures - a hangout where you can watch a movie and play some arcade games built by me 

KNOWN ISSUES

This is a save file that I have made. The original world map I used is Fall River by Roocheysims. I have also uploaded it here

There was a MASSIVE amount of those big oak trees that you can't see through, so I got rid of A LOT. I did not use the CC that is offered with the download, just the map, so it was entirely empty (except for the aforementioned trees and roads) when I started. I added quite a few new lots as well. I have cleaned and cleaned and cleaned this save to try and keep it down, but you can probably clean it before you play it as well. The map is really well made, there are no routing issues or anything I found as I played through to check everything. The only issue I found is that I had to replace some stairs on community lots. I have tried to keep all descriptions for the lots and sims that I didn’t make (if there was any) to give proper credit to the creators. I used some of my favorite lots and also ones I made myself. I have all expansions, all stuff packs, and all store content so I probably used them all.

The only expansion NOT used is PETS because it borks my game to unplayable so I don't use it. This world probably isn't the best for Pets as it is a medium sized world that only had room for 1 or 2 64x64 lots. I'm not sure how it will perform if you use Pets so my apologies for that! THERE IS ABSOLUTELY ZERO CC IN THIS SAVE. THE DOWNLOAD INCLUDES THE WORLD AND THE SAVE FILE.

I hope you enjoy this world as much as I do. Please tag me if you take any photos, I'd love to see them! Happy simming!

SIMFILESHARE DOWNLOAD

[deathssunshine]

Games I would force Victor to play.

🍮🍷I love torching this man. 🍷🍮

Warnings: Possible spoilers for some games, some weird games, some bad language, horror themes

notes: I hate me too don’t worry. If there are any typos pls let me know I'm currently sick so I'm kinda got writers block and spelling and grammar flew outta the window

genre: Hell, shit-post

Character: Victor from Mr love queen choice.

description: Forcing Victor to play games.

Word count: 434

_________________________________

1. OnlyCans

I’ve never played the game I just think it would be fun to see his reaction. Maybe he will be scarred for the rest of his life and never be able to look at soft drinks soda if you must, ever again in his entire life. Tbh that’s the goal.

2. Minecraft.

This uncultured swine needs to learn things. He uses technology like a 90 year old. I have a feeling like the smallest feeling he would get a cat like Pudding and name it ‘Pudding’. 

3. Cuphead.

Let him struggle.

4. I can’t remember the name of it but it was like this really horror based game of that my little pony shit where that pink hair one eats the others or kills them and you have to help them.

make him scared.

make him cry.

5. fnaf

Never really was into fnaf but I still played it and I would show him the lore. Force him to endure that one part in custom nights where the hippo gets you and proceeds to go on about his friend. 

6. undertale.

being nice to him for once and he might enjoy it who knows. It requires skills and he got them skills. He would find it childish but possibly interesting. 

7. Doki Doki.

I wanna see his reaction towards their deaths. Also since he uses technology like a 90 year old I bet he would freak out at that one part of the game where Monika looks at your email ( or something) without you knowing then would bring up the first 4 letters of your name or 3 so he would see ‘vic’ or ‘vict’ and he might freak out but be impressing possibly??? 

8. one of those hidden object games that have stories.

They were my entire childhood they would have these stories and puzzels and outcomes you could never expect. I feel like he would actually enjoy this kind of game. They were my first video games I ever played and I was around 4 when i played my first one 

(Gypsy’s tale: tower of secrets)

(Gypsy’s tale: tower of secrets)

(Shadow wolf mysteries , ( I think this is the first one about 4 or 5 were made))

(Shadow wolf mysteries , ( I think this is the second???))

9. Mario Kart.

I’ll beat his ass.

10. Over cooked

I don’t know much about the game but I think its the one from that date where you asked for the reward of him helping you beat this level. I think he enjoyed it so play more with him.

[melisa-may-taylor72]

Record Mirror- 08-25-1984

Ministry Of Works

Did you know that Freddie Mercury wants to make a reggae record? And that Roger Taylor would be selling flowers if he wasn't in Queen? Read on for more fascinating facts

MAYHEM IN Munich! Freddie Mercury is cavorting with a scantily dressed transvestite and it's only three in the afternoon. Are you man or woman enough to read on? Then swallow your vitamin pills and follow me.

Queen are limbering up for their forthcoming tour in Germany and to celebrate another single rising majestically up the charts, they're holding a little press bash in Munich's P1 club. A place even more decadent than the South Finchley Whiskey A Go Go.

The ghost of Adolf Hitler probably wanders around here on dark nights, as The Fuhrer used to store his paintings and other plunder in the club and the building next door. Unfortunately there's nothing left around today.

Instead, the club has gems of another kind. A selection of Queen's videos including the notorious 'Body Language' — and champagne and wine flowing like Niagara Falls.

The cabaret is Freddie's own idea: a group of well passed it drag artists, so outrageous in G strings and lingerie that they make Divine seem as tame as Marjorie Proops. Freddie's more than willing to join in when one of the girls does a rendition of 'I Want To Break Free', but the rest of the members of Queen look on shyly from the comforts of the bar. Everybody, but everybody is here to witness the event, including a film crew from the US air force, tramping around in full combat gear making a nuisance of themselves.

Freddie's doing well considering he's in quite a lot of pain. He remains tight lipped about the full details but he injured his leg after an incident in a club. A physiotherapist has been pummelling at it nearly every day.

"This c+ + + kicked me," says Fred. "I'm hoping my knee will be ready in time for the tour, but it's still giving me a lot of trouble. It might mean I will have to cut down on some of my more elaborate gorgeous stage moves."

FRED'S ALSO been hobbling around a Munich recording studio putting the finishing touches to his first ever solo album which should be out in January. Gadzooks, could this be the start of a split with Queen? Is it true Limahl's going to take over?

"Not at all. I've wanted to do a solo album for a long time and the rest of the band have encouraged me to do it. Some of them are even featured doing a few bits and pieces to help me out.

"There are a lot of musical territories I wanted to explore, which I couldn't really do with Queen. I wanted to cover such things as reggae rhythms and I've done a couple of tracks with a symphony orchestra. It will have a very rich sound."

Fred's also done some work with Michael Jackson, but he still doesn't know when this is going to see the light of day. They've done a selection of tracks together in Michael's home studio. For a while, Fred was even in the running to do 'State Of Shock'.

"I was out of town at the time so Mick did it instead," he says. "I don't mind at all. I'd like to release something with Michael because he is a really marvellous person to work with. It's all a question of time because we never seem to be together at the right time. Just think, I could have been on 'Thriller'. Think of the royalties I've missed out on.

"Michael has been a friend of ours for a long time. He's been to our shows and enjoyed them. We make a great team."

One of Fred's songs 'Love Kills', is being used on the soundtrack of the reactivated 'Metropolis' film and he hopes to make a 20 minute video using four or five of his own songs.Freddie and all the members of Queen have a long standing appreciation of 'Metropolis', which originally came out in 1927. Their stage set, in the shape of a futuristic city, has been inspired by it.The lighting rig measures 74ft by 50ft and the original design was so heavy they had to change it because it was in danger of bringing theatre roofs down. What a way to go, crushed by your own equipment.

AFTER THE European tour. Queen will be taking the whole shebang down to South America, headlining a 10 day festival in Rio. The place they will be playing is an amphitheatre down by the sea that can seat 300,000 people a night. It all makes Castle Donington seem like just another night at the Marquee. A local radio station in Rio held a survey to see who the most popular bands were and then some local promoters went out and booked them for the extravaganza. Naturally, Queen came out top.

Queen will also be doing some shows in South Africa. This is more than just a little bit controversial. Especially with the memory of Nelson Mandela still very warm.

"We've thought about the morals of it a lot and it's something we've decided to do," says Brian May. "This band is not political, we are not out to make statements, we play to entertain anybody who comes to listen. The show will be in Botswana in front of a mixed audience."

The band wanted to play Russia but the authorities objected. This situation might change now though, considering that Iron Maiden have been let into Poland to wreak havoc. *

"The Russians still think we're very decadent," confides Roger Taylor. "We want to play China as well, and Korea. John and I spent a holiday in Korea and it's a fascinating place. They're finishing work on the Olympic stadium for the next games!

Perhaps the Ruskies heard about Roger's high living on Ibiza. He's bought a house there and enjoys powerboat racing. Play time is over for the time being, though. After their two year break. Queen have been working more than 12 hours a day rehearsing.

"It's strange how rusty we are, and so we're trying to blow the cobwebs away," continues Roger. "It's taking a lot of work. Usually we rehearse until about nine and then we eat together and decide what we're going to do in the evenings. The clubs here are really fun. Something to cater for every taste or perversion.

"On the tour we'll be playing a lot of the old material and we'll be giving the audience what they want. A lot of the music I hear in the charts today doesn't interest me. I just can't see how anybody can get excited over Spandau Ballet. It doesn't send shivers up my spine. I like listening to Bruce Springsteen."

They might be old stagers, but Roger claims that tickets for Queen's British shows sold oul in three hours flat and they could have easily played another 12 nights here.

"We still have the rock and roil gypsy mentality," he says. "Even after 12 years without a line-up change we still really enjoy the buzz from playing live and the fact that we have hit singles. Some bands in our position might take it all in their stride, but we're still like kids, we get very excited.

"You've got to have a laugh haven't you? If Queen wasn't any fun, then I'd jack it all in and go and sell flowers."

Robin Smith

@natromanxoff, @mephisto92, @moviestorian, @x5vale, @39-brian, @onegoldenglance, @crosmopolitan, @an-abyss-called-life, @his-majesty-king-mercury, @i-live-for-queen, @brian-39-may, @toomuchlove-willkillyou, @brimaymay, @sail-away-sweet-sister, @drummerqueenrmt, @old-fashioned-roger-boy, @briianmaay, @inui-mycroft, @deacytits, @iminlovewithrogscar, @drowseoftaylor, @brianmayislongaway, @balticlover, @astrophysicist-guitar-god, @miez-lakatz, @brianmayoucease, @jesus-in-a-life-boat, @aslongasthereismusic, @silapril, @sherrifanciesfriskyfreddie, @tenderbri, @brianmydear, @thosequeenboys, @millionairewaltz-carpediem, @painandpleasure86, @bribrifrenchfry, @xlucylennonx, @a-night-at-the-abbey-road, @inthedayswhenlandswerefew, @madformeddowstaylor, @queenrogertaylorfan, @let-roger-get-a-lunch, @queen-for-life, @rethought, @drivenbybrianmay @mymakeupmaybeflaking, @old-but-still-a-child, @let-roger-get-a-lunch, @warriorteam1924, @funnydressesweirdhairanddance,  @thefanhuman13, @yourtieddownmother, @hgmercury39, @brimi-stardust, @thefairyfellermercury,  @sailawaysweetbrimi, @sophiaintheskywithdiamonds, @holybrianmaywritingbear, @lydiannode, @39-yellow-daffodils , @ure-gonna-loveme-when-u-seeme, @kaykaybeachgirl, @foxmonkey, @deakysgurl, @redspecialandclogsandcurls, @briansrainbowsocks-deactivated2, @delilahmay39, @ohmybribri, @bless-the-queen, @everythingaboutfreddie, @doitforthevine67, @recordsoftheseventies, @rhysjoejoshtomfarisblog, @tenementfunsterwithpurpleshoes, @drummah-in-a-rocknroll-band, @beatlegirl1968, @maylorsqueen, @autumnscenemcyt, @gralto, @alittlepeoplemagic, @rainbowsockbrian, @frejudy, @drivenbybrimay, @yourlocalmusicalprostitute, @saik-ava, @omb-xx, @sassymaylor, @somekindofroger, @starlightmay, @freddiemercuryismylife, @sunshine112, @chrysochromulina, @glitteryloveravenue, @deakyislife51, @0-primejive-0, @just-a-skinny-lad, @bluewillowmom, @sassiesillie, @stesichoreanpalinode, @mrfahrenheitmercury @tayloredofqueen, @0-my-fairy-queen-0, @scandalacious @izzy-is-slightly-mad @39-volunteers-to-space  @zodiacaldust, @deakytaylor, @queenband70s, @deakyeveryday, @drivenbybrimay, @70smay, @brianharoldmay39, @everybandsnotqueen, @johns-diqi  @oneandthreeseventh

[popculturebuffet]

Amphibia Weekly Reviews: New Wartwood and Friend or Frobo?

Hello all you happy people! And welcome back to another week’s worth of Amphibia reviews! And we got two standout episodes today as Marcy tries to home improvement her way into people’s hearts, and Polly makes friends with a destructive but endearing robot. Find out what I thought about in full under the cut!

New Wartwood: Marcy episode! Wu-hoo! And true to the show’s current status quo, and I do love how it evolves, it’s her first day in Wartwood and she’s pumped. And true to the awkward, probably autistic like yours truly, nerd we’re dealing with.. she does not make a great impression or intergrate herself to the naturally suspcious of outsiders tow. So when questioned by Anne how her day went she gets into how the town’s carefully built on a swamp.. and how the townsfolk hate her, complete with Angry Mob. Anne disperses it but it’s still the funniest moment of the episode to me, both in how a small one sprouted up so quick.. and how polly’s there despite LIKING Marcy (”I go where the mob goes anne!”). ALso i’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Anne just.. casually blushing while talking to Marcy. There’s no catalyist or any reason she would for any other reason than being sweet on her. 

So Marcy, after fixing a statue she knocked over, decides she can earn their love faster as she dosen’t want to wait.  This does get to one of Marcy’s core issues.. while she has many, like any of us, it ties back to the fact she has trouble getting this isn’t a video game. I mean she does get the diffrence between real life and a game on an objective level, but she can’t get real life dosen’t WORK like fiction, something i’ve also struggled with and can massively relate to. So she assumes helping them, via fixing up the town a bit, will make them like her. It makes them warm up a little but they still don’t. 

So naturally, who should come in by blimp to give her a tempting offer that will end badly but Mayor Toadstool! He also has a blimp now but it keeps escaping... I think I know where it went. 

So THAT’S how he can afford those things. Naturally seeing how nice Marcy made things he has a plan to exploit the hell out of her gifts with masonry to pretty up the town as a tourist attraction to make him more money. Anne talks her out of it.. but she ends up caving in the middle of the night. I also love the touch of her staying in the Fwagon, not forgetting the plantars bought it and finding a practical use for it in and out of story now i’ts no longer needed. I also love the little signs she has on it. 

The next morning the town awakes to marble pillars in front of all of the shops to make them look fancy and Marcy and the Mayor promoting the town’s new effort,s including a golden founderss tatue and a horrifying golden clock of toadstool, with Anne warry of her girlfriend’s antics. Mostly becaue you can’t force people to like you or bribe them to. Otherwise you cause the entire town to sink into the water bellow... like now. But while Marcy is now convinced the town will never accept her she still dosen’t want them all to die, and summons Joe Sparrow.. who continues to be the best thing ever added to this cast I swear to god as he helps her save the day, removing the various new things to reduce weight, saving some villiagers from a pillar (as Croaker points out their frogs ending up in the water isn’t that deadly), and getting rid of the gold monstrosities. 

So the end result is that the town is rightfully liviid, though she does genuinely appologize.. and suprisingly.. TOADSTOOL actually tries to take all the blame. The town rightfully dosen’t let him, but it’s clear he’s somehow growing as a person. Even if anne’s assement of him as “What would happen if the Monopoly Man had a Baby with a PIece of Fried Chicken” is still 100% accurate. They do agree they’ll like her with time, just like Anne, and if supscious, will gladly give her another shot. So Marcy’s learned her lesson.. always listen to your girlfriend. And while she literally fixes her damage.. the mascot toadstool hired explodes as it’s full of bugs. 

Final Thoughts on New Wartwood: This was a fun episode. A fairly simple and predictable one, but sometimes that works perfectly and this one was just damn funny, charming and full of good character stuff. Top notch. 

Friend or Frobo?:

I have a confession to make: I fricking love robots. It’s something that really HASN’T come up before, but I love a good robot. There’s just tons of good stories to be had with artifical beings, their struggles to be recongized for who they are, their cool powers, their awkward but endearing attempts to fit in with us less than deserving humans. And ficton’s had TONS and TONS of awesome ones: The Vision (in both 616 and MCU flavors), who is one of my faviorite heroes period, Red Tornado, Jenny Wakeman, Shard the Metal Sonic, BOYD, Aya, Data, Crow, Tom Servo, Gypsy, Growler, Robo, Grimlock. the list really DOES go on into infinity for me. 

WEirdly though I didn’t pay much mind to Frobo before this episode.. but with no real personality other than endearlingly running into the same obstacle for hours, and no real background yet, I didn’t really have anything to attach to other than “Cool anne’s either going to nearly get killed by a robot or get one”. But this episode changed that using the oldest trick in the book: having a child befriend it. We’ve seen it before with Sentinels, Badniks, Autobots and Iron Giants. Now we get it again with largeish frog robot. And it is pretty damn good. 

This is a Polly episode. It’s Hop Pop’s faviorite day: Seed Store Day! Naturally Marcy has come along and naturlaly she’s just as geeked out about seeds as he is because she’s precious and I must protect her from the horrible trauma her trusted father figure is about to inflict on her. Polly naturally wants to get into some shenanigans but suprisingly.. Anne and Sprig don’t wanna anymore. THey’ve learned their lesson and decide to just play video games. So polly does the resonable thing.. and blames them for some shenanigans on her part and goes out to get into more shneanigans only to find it’s lonely without a friend. 

Enter Frobo, named that because he looks like a frog and she heard the term robo from anne’s game. And despite very limited programming... Frobo is VERY loveable. As Polly notes he’s essentially a baby: he starts by mimicing her, including his horrifying but endearing laugh, and even doing her spin dash she gained a few episodes back I didn’t mention because I forgot. That one’s on me. Sprig also did the Yooka Laylee thing on top of her spin dash then so there’s that. 

Point is it’s all fun, games and heartwarming bonding till Frobo accidently floods the city and gets mobbed and one of the mobbs makes the terrible mistake of accidently kicking polly. 

He goes into Red Eye Iron Giant HOmage mode and starts fighting everybody.. including Anne and Sprig who show up to contain things, but eventually Polly wins everyone over with a heartwarming speech as she stops him, pointing out it was her fault and while he is weird, he’s just an innocent> The town.. decides why not. As the mayor points out “We already have two freaks what’s a third”. And given Marcy nearly killed them all yesterday and they begrudginly acepted her and anne did it WAY more than once and they see her as one of them, yeah they give up. 

Naturally once they get back Marcy is an easy sell. Now she can do chrono trigger cosplay! Hop Pop is a bit till it’s shown that frobo can farm super fast, and he’s part of the family now. Sprig and Anne shrug off him having come from the factory, and this surely won’t backfire on them surely. 

Final Thoughts on Friend or Frobo:

This one was excellent. The idea of Polly having to learn repsonsiblity was a nice idea, and Frobo is as I said endearing: he’s simply an innocent being who knows nothing and is slowly learning and his friendship with polly is really fucking cute. And giving him an emotional attachment to the plantars means whatevers going on with him gets higher stakes.. and given how robots are treated in fiction i’m just counting the minutes till he tragically gets blowed up real good. But until then this episode was a standout for the season. While as I made clear the “Kid befriends death machine” trope is not NEW, the baby concept made it feel fresh. It also as usual had some good jokes. 

So all in all a top notch week, really great stuff and i’ts only going to get better next time!

Nexttime: Mayor Toadstool is tempted to leave. Kay. But more importantly MADDIE EPISODE AGAIN BITCHES. AND IT HAS MARCY IT. I’M READY. 

Next On This Blog: Final Space Yo! Quinn and Gary visit earth and Tribore leaves.. again. Be here or be... elsewhere I guess

If you liked this review, follow for more, join my patreon, and comission your own review if you want via my askbox, discord and dms. See you at the next rainbow. 

[obtusemedia]

Ranking Lady Gaga's albums, from worst to best

Being a Lady Gaga fan can be an exercise in frustration.

Gaga is far more ambitious than most popstars — I doubt we’ll ever see Ariana Grande or Ed Sheeran make an album as left-field as Born This Way or ARTPOP. But she's also far less consistent, with numerous misbegotten projects.

Gaga's undeniably successful, with five #1 hits, an Oscar and multiple iconic music videos to her name. But her messy album rollouts and tradition of underperforming lead singles make her feel like an underdog compared to the more polished, precise careers of her contemporaries like Taylor Swift, Beyoncé or Bruno Mars.

Gaga is kind of a mess. But she's our mess. This album ranking will cover some records I can't stand — albums that make me constantly hit the fast-forward button, or albums I ignore altogether. But there isn't a single record on here that wasn't a bold move. Even the "back to basics" albums made strong aesthetic choices.

So let's dive into the career of the most fascinating Millennial popstar.

#8: Cheek To Cheek (2014)

This really shouldn't count. It's a Lady Gaga album in name only. But, technically it's a Gaga album, so here we are.

I've got nothing against Gaga having fun playing Rat Pack-era dress-up with Tony Bennett. She's a theatre kid at heart, and I'm sure every theatre kid would kill to make a Great American Songbook covers record like this. It sounds like she and Tony enjoyed themselves, so I'm happy for them!

...but I'm sorry. I can't be objective about Cheek To Cheek, it's the opposite of my taste. There's only so many bland lounge ballads I can take.

BEST SONGS: I have to pick one? "Anything Goes" is cute, I guess.

WORST SONG: "Sophisticated Lady"

#7: A Star Is Born (2018)

Let me first make this clear — A Star Is Born, the movie starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga? It's a masterpiece. It's electrifying and tragic and I'm still upset it didn't sweep the Oscars that year. There's even a cute dog! You won't hear me say a bad word about it.

But A Star Is Born, the accompanying soundtrack? It's extremely hit-and-miss.

Yes, it includes arguably Gaga's best-ever song and one of the greatest movie hits ever written, "Shallow." And there's plenty of other great tunes in the tracklist too — "Always Remember Us This Way," "I'll Never Love Again," the "La Vie En Rose" cover.

Even the country-rock songs from Bradley Cooper (who, reminder, is not a professional singer) are mostly good! "Black Eyes" RIPS, and "Maybe It's Time" feels like a long-lost classic.

But sadly, there are so many mediocre filler tracks on this thing. The second half of A Star Is Born's hour-plus runtime (Gaga's longest!) is padded with generic songs like "Look What I've Found," "Heal Me" and "I Don't Know What Love Is." The only good one out of the bunch is the silly, intentionally-bad "Why Did You Do That?"

In the movie, these filler tracks serve a point – they're meant to show Gaga's character selling out. They work in the movie when you hear them for a few seconds and see Cooper make a drunkly disappointed scowl. But I don't want to listen to them, and sadly, they make up half the album.

In other words — A Star Is Born would've made an incredible six or seven-song EP. But as an 63-minute-long record? It's a slog.

BEST SONGS: "Shallow", "Always Remember Us This Way," "Maybe It's Time"

WORST SONG: "Heal Me"

#6: Joanne (2016)

After Born This Way and ARTPOP, I get why Gaga needed to make a more lowkey, back-to-basics album. I also understand that many of these songs have extremely personal lyrics for her.

But is a down-to-earth album what I really want from our most outré popstar? Not really.

Luckily, Joanne is better than that description suggests. Yes, there are some bland acoustic ballads and awkward hippie-era throwbacks (two styles that are really not in Gaga's wheelhouse), but there's also some Springsteen-style heartland rockers! And those go hard in the paint.

Joanne works best when Gaga works the record's dusty aesthetics into her brand of weirdo pop, like on the sizzling "John Wayne," the winking "A-YO" or the delightfully extra Florence Welch duet "Hey Girl."

The record also has "Perfect Illusion" — a glorious red herring of a lead single that sounds nothing like anything else on Joanne. It's a roided-up mixture of woozy Tame Impala production and hair metal histrionics, and it rules. It might be Gaga's best-ever lead single! (at the very least, it's her most underrated.)

And there is one slow tune that's unambiguously great: "Million Reasons," another solid Gaga lighters-in-the-air power ballad pastiche.

Despite what some Little Monsters may tell you, Joanne isn't a disaster. There's some great stuff in there, and even the worst songs are just forgettable. But it's still far from her best.

BEST SONGS: "Perfect Illusion," "Diamond Heart," "Million Reasons"

WORST SONG: "Come To Mama"

#5: Chromatica (2020)

When Chromatica was released near the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, it had been seven years since Gaga had released music in her classic gonzo-synthpop vein. I can easily picture the record serving as an "ugh fine, I'll give you what you want" response to the many Little Monsters annoyed with Gaga's half-decade of folksy ballads and Julie Andrews cosplay.

I'll say this about Chromatica — outside of The Fame Monster, it's her most consistent record. There's not a single track that's a glaring mistake. And the three singles — "Stupid Love," "911" and the triumphant Ariana Grande duet "Rain On Me" — easily stand among her best tracks.

But although "all bangers, no ballads" album sounds rad in theory, it doesn't really succeed in practice. Chromatica is solid, but it's also a very same-y record. It feels like Gaga had one really great idea for the album ('90s club music with super-depressing lyrics) and repeated it over and over and over again to diminishing results.

There are some songs that are able to separate themselves: the three singles, of course, as well as the goofy "Babylon" and "Sine From Above," the Elton John duet that's the closest Chromatica gets to a ballad. But by the end of the album, you feel more worn out than electrified.

Also — and this is probably unfair, but still — Chromatica came out just a couple months after another retro-dance blockbuster pop album: Dua Lipa's magnum opus, Future Nostalgia. That's not a flattering comparison.

BEST SONGS: "Rain On Me," "Stupid Love," "911"

WORST SONG: "1000 Doves"

#4: The Fame (2008)

Out of all of Gaga's records, The Fame is most like a time capsule. It REEKS of late '00s/early '10s pop — which isn't an entirely fair criticism, seeing as Gaga popularized that era's sleazy, synthy aesthetic. It's also not a bad thing! I don't mind a little nostalgia!

As you already know, The Fame's singles are masterworks. "Just Dance," "Poker Face," "Paparazzi" — these tracks have titanic legacies for good reason. And although it's probably the least-beloved of this album's hits, despite being a total banger, "LoveGame" should still be commended for having arguably the most Gaga lyric ever (you know, the "disco stick" line).

And even though those tracks are front-loaded on The Fame, there are some gems deeper in the tracklist. "Summerboy" is basically Gwen Stefani covering The Strokes (so obviously, it's great). "Eh, Eh" is adorable. "Starstruck" is the most 2008 song ever recorded, with aggressive Auto-Tune and Flo Rida showing up to make Starbucks jokes.

Sadly, The Fame still feels like Gaga before she became fully-formed at certain points. The back half has a number of songs that feel like generic club tracks forced by the label, and "Paper Gangsta" is one of the clunkiest songs in Gaga's catalogue.

But at the very least, the bad songs on The Fame at least serve as little nostalgia bombs for that era of pop. And the best songs are untouchable classics.

BEST SONGS: "Paparazzi," "Just Dance," "Summerboy"

WORST SONG: "Paper Gangsta"

#3: ARTPOP (2013)

For much of Gaga's career, she's been ahead of the curve. She tries something, and a year or a few years later, other popstars try something similar to diminishing results.

That doesn't just apply to the successful stuff, like Gaga's extravagant music videos inspiring many copycats from 2010-2013. It also applies to the mid-late '10s trend of legacy popstars making a controversial record with risky aesthetic or lyrical choices that backfired: reputation. Witness. Man of The Woods.

Gaga did this first, with ARTPOP — arguably the most abrasive, and bizzare major label album released by a major modern popstar. And she did it better, because unlike Swift, Perry and Timberlake, Gaga's weirdness was for real. And it was in service of some prime, hyper-aggressive bangers.

ARTPOP isn't Gaga's best work — some of her experiments on it are major misfires, from the obnoxious "Mary Jane Holland" to the bland Born This Way leftover (and Romani slur-utilizing) "Gypsy."

But when ARTPOP is on, it's ON. The opening stretch in particular, from "Aura" to "Venus" to "G.U.Y." to "Sexxx Dreams," is chaotic synthpop at its finest. Those songs took Gaga's classic sound to an apocalyptic, demented extreme, and they're fantastic.

"MANiCURE" is a great glam-rock banger, "Dope" is another classic Gaga piano ballad, the title track is some sikly-smooth dreampop; even the misguided, clunky trap anthem "Jewels N' Drugs" is bad in a hilarious, charming way!

Trust me: ARTPOP will go down in history not as a flop, but as a gutsy, underrated record from a legend. Less Witness, more In Utero.

BEST SONGS: "G.U.Y.," "Venus," "Sexxx Dreams"

WORST SONG: "Gypsy"

#2: The Fame Monster (2009)

Objectively speaking, this is probably the best Gaga album.

It's her one record with no fluff, no filler — only 34 minutes and 8 tracks, all of them stellar.

It's the record that took Gaga from "wow, this new woman is a fresh new face in pop!" to "this woman IS pop."

It's the record with her signature track, "Bad Romance," which was accompanied by arguably the greatest music video of the 21st Century. (It also has my absolute favorite Gaga track, the relentlessly catchy "Telephone.")

I don't think I need to explain what makes mega-smashes "Bad Romance" and "Telephone" and "Alejandro" great, nor the accompanying legendary deep cuts "Speechless" and "Dance In The Dark." They speak for themselves.

However — the sleek, calculated perfection of The Fame Monster, while incredible, isn't something I return to often. It's just not the side of Gaga that's my favorite. That honor would have to go to...

BEST SONGS: "Telephone," "Dance In The Dark," "Bad Romance"

WORST SONG: "So Happy I Could Die" (but it's still pretty solid)

#1: Born This Way (2011)

One of my favorite podcasts is Blank Check. The concept of the show is to analyze each movie by a famous director — in particular, those who had big success early on and then got a blank check to make whatever crazy passion project they wanted. Here's a great example: because Batman was a massive hit, Tim Burton got to make whatever Hot Topic-core movies he wanted to for decades, from Edward Scissorhands to a creepy Willy Wonka remake.

That long-winded tangent is just to say: Born This Way was Lady Gaga's blank check. By early 2011, she had conquered the pop universe, notching hit after hit after hit. Every other pop star was copying her quirky music videos. So the label let Gaga do whatever she wanted — and she didn't waste that opportunity.

Born This Way is wildly overproduced. It's both extremely trend-chasing (those synths were cutting edge at the time but charmingly dated now), but also deeply uncaring about what the teens want (I don't think Springsteen and Queen homages were big at the time). And I love every messy, overblown second of it.

From the hair-metal/synthpop hybrid opener "Marry The Night" to the majestic '80s power ballad "The Edge of Glory," Born This Way starts at an 11. And Gaga never takes her foot off the pedal for the album's entire hour-plus run time. Clanging electric guitars, thunderous synths and Clarence Clemons (!!!) sax solos collide into each other as Gaga champions every misfit and loser in the world. It's gloriously corny in the best way possible.

Born This Way is also the perfect middle ground of pop-savvy Gaga and gonzo Gaga. It doesn't go quite as hard as ARTPOP, but the hooks are stronger. And the oddball moments are tons of fun, from the sci-fi biker anthem "Highway Unicorn" to the goofy presidential-sex banger "Government Hooker" ("Put your hands on me/John F. Kennedy" might be the greatest line in pop history).

Born This Way will always be my favorite Gaga album. It's armed with nuclear-grade hooks, slamming beats, and soaring anthems. Although it's not as untouchably pristine as the Mt. Rushmore of '10s pop classics (for the record, that's 1989, EMOTION, Lemonade and, of course, Melodrama), Gaga isn't best served by meticulousness. She's proudly tacky and histrionic, and so that's what makes Born This Way an utter joy.

BEST SONGS: "The Edge of Glory," "You and I," "Marry The Night"

WORST SONG: "Bloody Mary"

[tlbodine]

A Horror History of Werewolves

As far as horror icons are concerned, werewolves are among the oldest of all monsters. References to man-to-wolf transformations show up as early as the Epic of Gilgamesh, making them pretty much as old as storytelling itself. And, unlike many other movie monsters, werewolves trace their folkloric roots to a time when people truly believed in and feared these creatures. 

But for a creature with such a storied past, the modern werewolf has quite the crisis of identity. Thanks to an absolute deluge of romance novels featuring sometimes-furry love interests, the contemporary idea of “werewolf” is decidedly de-fanged. So how did we get here? Where did they come from, where are they going, and can werewolves ever be terrifying again? 

Werewolves in Folklore and Legend 

Ancient Greece was full of werewolf stories. Herodotus wrote of a nomadic tribe from Scythia (part of modern-day Russia) who changed into wolves for a portion of the year. This was most likely a response to the Proto-Indo-European societies living in that region at the time -- a group whose warrior class would sometimes don animal pelts and were said to call on the spirit of animals to aid them in battle (the concept of the berserker has the same roots -- just bears rather than wolves).

In Arcadia, there was a local legend about King Lycaon, who was turned to a wolf as punishment for serving human meat to Zeus (exact details of the event vary between accounts, but cannibalism and crimes-against-the-gods are a common theme). Pliny the Elder wrote of werewolves as well, explaining that those who make a sacrifice to Zeus Lycaeus would be turned to wolves but could resume human form years later if they abstained from eating human meat in that time.

By the time we reach the Medieval period in Europe, werewolf stories were widespread and frequently associated with witchcraft. Lycanthropy could be either a curse laid upon someone or a transformation undergone by someone practicing witchcraft, but either way was bad news in the eyes of the church. For several centuries, witch-hunts would aggressively seek out anyone suspected of transforming into a wolf.

One particularly well-known werewolf trial was for Peter Stumpp in 1589. Stumpp, known as "The Werewolf of Bedburg," confessed to killing and eating fourteen children and two pregnant women while in the form of a wolf after donning a belt given to him by the Devil. Granted, this confession came on the tail-end of extensive public torture, so it may not be precisely reliable. His daughter and mistress were also executed in a public and brutal way during the same trial.

Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? 

The thing you have to understand when studying folklore is that, for many centuries, wolves were the apex predator of Europe. While wolf attacks on humans have been exceedingly rare in North America, wolves in Europe have historically been much bolder -- or, at least, there are more numerous reports of man-eating wolves in those regions. Between 1362 and 1918, roughly 7,600 people were reportedly killed by wolves in France alone, which may have some bearing on the local werewolf tradition of the loup-garou.

For people living in rural areas, subsisting as farmers or hunters, wolves posed a genuine existential threat. Large, intelligent, utilizing teamwork and more than capable of outwitting the average human, wolves are a compelling villain. Which is probably why they show up so frequently in fairytales, from Little Red Riding Hood to Peter and the Wolf to The Three Little Pigs.

Early Werewolf Fiction 

Vampires have Dracula and zombies have I Am Legend, but there really is no clear singular book to point to as the "First Great Werewolf Novel." Perhaps by the time the novel was really taking off as an artform, werewolves had lost some of their appeal. After all, widespread literacy and reading-for-pleasure went hand-in-hand with advancements in civilization. For city-dwellers in Victorian England, for example, the threat of a wolf eating you alive probably seemed quite remote.

Don't get me wrong -- there were some Gothic novels featuring werewolves, like Sutherland Menzies' Hugues, The Wer-Wolf, or G.W.M. Reynolds' Wagner the Wehr-Wolf, or even The Wolf Leader by Alexandre Dumas. But these are not books that have entered the popular conscience by any means. I doubt most people have ever heard of them, much less read them.

No -- I would argue that the closest thing we have, thematically, to a Great Werewolf Novel is in fact The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. Written in 1886, the Gothic novella tells the story of a scientist who, wanting to engage in certain unnamed vices without detection, created a serum that would allow him to transform into another person. That alter-ego, Mr. Hyde, was selfish, violent, and ultimately uncontrollable -- and after taking over the body on its own terms and committing a murder or two, the only way to stop Hyde’s re-emergence was suicide. 

Although not about werewolves, per se, Jekyll & Hyde touches on many themes that we'll see come up time and again in werewolf media up through the present day: toxic masculinity, the dual nature of man, leading a double life, and the ultimate tragedy of allowing one's base instincts/animal nature to run wild. Against a backdrop of Victorian sexual repression and a rapidly shifting concept of humanity's relationship to nature, it makes sense that these themes would resonate deeply (and find a new home in werewolf media).

It is also worth mentioning Guy Endore's The Werewolf of Paris, published in 1933. Set against the backdrop of the Franco-Prussian war and subsequent military battles, the book utilizes a werewolf as a plot device for exploring political turmoil. A #1 bestseller in its day, the book was a big influence on the sci-fi and mystery pulp scene of the 1940s and 50s, and is still considered one of the best werewolf novels of its ilk.

From Silver Bullets to Silver Screens 

What werewolf representation lacks in novels, it makes up for in film. Werewolves have been a surprisingly enduring feature of film from its early days, due perhaps to just how much fun transformation sequences are to film. From camera tricks to makeup crews and animatronics design, werewolf movies create a lot of unique opportunities for special effects -- and for early film audiences especially (who were not yet jaded to movie magic), these on-screen metamorphoses must have elicited true awe. 

The Wolf Man (1941) really kicked off the trend. Featuring Lon Chaney Jr. as the titular wolf-man, the film was cutting-edge for its time in the special effects department. The creature design is the most memorable thing about the film, which has an otherwise forgettable plot -- but it captured viewer attention enough to bring Chaney back many times over for sequels and Universal Monster mash-ups. 

The Wolf Man and 1944's Cry of the Werewolf draw on that problematic Hollywood staple, "The Gypsy Curse(tm)" for their world-building. Fortunately, werewolf media would drift away from that trope pretty quickly; curses lost their appeal, but “bite as mode of transmission” would remain an essential part of werewolf mythos. 

In 1957, I Was a Teenage Werewolf was released as a classic double-header drive-in flick that's nevertheless worth a watch for its parallels between werewolfism and male aggression (a theme we'll see come up again and again). Guy Endore's novel got the Hammer Film treatment for 1961's The Curse of the Werewolf, but it wasn't until the 1970s when werewolf media really exploded: The Beast Must Die, The Legend of the Wolf Woman, The Fury of the Wolfman, Scream of the Wolf, Werewolves on Wheels and many more besides.

Hmmm, werewolves exploding in popularity around the same time as women's liberation was dramatically redefining gender roles and threatening the cultural concept of masculinity? Nah, must be a coincidence.

The 1980s brought with it even more werewolf movies, including some of the best-known in the genre: The Howling (1981), Teen Wolf (1985), An American Werewolf in London (1981), and The Company of Wolves (1984). Differing widely in their tone and treatment of werewolf canon, the films would establish more of a spiderweb than a linear taxonomy.

That spilled over into the 1990s as well. The Howling franchise went deep, with at least seven films that I can think of. Wolf, a 1994 release starring Jack Nicholson is especially worth a watch for its themes of dark romantic horror. 

By the 2000s, we get a proper grab-bag of werewolf options. There is of course the Underworld series, with its overwrought "vampires vs lycans" world-building. There's also Skin Walkers, which tries very hard to be Underworld (and fails miserably at even that low bar). But there's also Dog Soldiers and Ginger Snaps, arguably two of the finest werewolf movies of all time -- albeit in extremely different ways and for very different reasons.

Dog Soldiers is a straightforward monster movie pitting soldiers against ravenous werewolves. The wolves could just as easily have been subbed out with vampires or zombies -- there is nothing uniquely wolfish about them on a thematic level -- but the creature design is unique and the film itself is mastefully made and entertaining.

Ginger Snaps is the first werewolf movie I can think of that tackles lycanthropy from a female point of view. Although The Company of Wolves has a strong feminist angle, it is still very much a film about male sexuality and aggression. Ginger Snaps, on the other hand, likens werewolfism to female puberty -- a comparison that frankly makes a lot of sense.

The Werewolf as Sex Object 

There are quite literally thousands of werewolf romance novels on the market, with more coming in each day. But the origins of this trend are a bit fuzzier to make out (no pun intended). 

Everyone can mostly agree that Anne Rice’s Interview with a Vampire was the turning-point for sympathetic vampires -- and paranormal romance as a whole. But where do werewolves enter the mix? Possibly with Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter books, which feature the titular character in a relationship with a werewolf (and some vampires, and were-leopards, and...many other things). With the first book released in 1993, the Anita Blake series seems to pre-date similar books in its ilk. 

Blood and Chocolate (1997) by Annette Curtis Klause delivers a YA-focused version of the classic “I’m a werewolf in high school crushing on a mortal boy”; that same year, Buffy the Vampire Slayer hit the small screen, and although the primary focus was vampires, there is a main werewolf character (and romancing him around the challenges of his wolfishness is a big plot point for the characters involved). And Buffy, of course, paved the way for Twilight in 2005. From there, werewolves were poised to become a staple of the ever-more-popular urban fantasy/paranormal romance genre. 

“Sexy werewolf” as a trope may have its roots in other traditions like the beastly bridegroom (eg, Beauty and the Beast) and the demon lover (eg, Labyrinth), which we can talk about another time. But there’s one other ingredient in this recipe that needs to be discussed. And, oh yes, we’re going there. 

Alpha/Beta/Omegaverse 

By now you might be familiar with the concept of the Omegaverse thanks to the illuminating Lindsay Ellis video on the topic (and the current ongoing lawsuit). If not, well, just watch the video. It’ll be easier than trying to explain it all. (Warning for NSFW topics). 

But the tl;dr is that A/B/O or Omegaverse is a genre of (generally erotic) romance utilizing the classical understanding of wolf pack hierarchy. Never mind that science has long since disproven the stratification of authority in wolf packs; the popular conscious is still intrigued by the concept of a society where some people are powerful alphas and some people are timid omegas and that’s just The Way Things Are. 

What’s interesting about the Omegaverse in regards to werewolf fiction is that, as near as I’ve been able to discover, it’s actually a case of convergent evolution. A/B/O as a genre seems to trace its roots to Star Trek fanfiction in the 1960s, where Kirk/Spock couplings popularized ideas like heat cycles. From there, the trope seems to weave its way through various fandoms, exploding in popularity in the Supernatural fandom. 

What seems to have happened is that the confluence of A/B/O kink dynamics merging with urban fantasy werewolf social structure set off a popular niche for werewolf romance to truly thrive. 

It’s important to remember that, throughout folklore, werewolves were not viewed as being part of werewolf societies. Werewolves were humans who achieved wolf form through a curse or witchcraft, causing them to transform into murderous monsters -- but there was no “werewolf pack,” and certainly no social hierarchy involving werewolf alphas exerting their dominance over weaker pack members. That element is a purely modern one rooted as much in our misunderstanding of wolf pack dynamics as in our very human desire for power hierarchies. 

So Where Do We Go From Here? 

I don’t think sexy werewolf stories are going anywhere anytime soon. But that doesn’t mean that there’s no room left in horror for werewolves to resume their monstrous roots. 

Thematically, werewolves have done a lot of heavy lifting over the centuries. They hold up a mirror to humanity to represent our own animal nature. They embody themes of toxic masculinity, aggression, primal sexuality, and the struggle of the id and ego. Werewolf attack as sexual violence is an obvious but powerful metaphor for trauma, leaving the victim transformed. Werewolves as predators hiding in plain sight among civilization have never been more relevant than in our #MeToo moment of history. 

Can werewolves still be frightening? Absolutely. 

As long as human nature remains conflicted, there will always be room at the table for man-beasts and horrifying transfigurations. 

--

This blog topic was chosen by my Patreon supporters, who got to see it one week before it went live. If you too would enjoy early access to my blog posts, want to vote for next month’s topic, or just want to support the work I do, come be a patron at https://www.patreon.com/tlbodine

[maybelenormand]

Russian Gypsy Fortune Telling Cards - Monthly Spread - August

Fun fact, this time we have an image created by turning the last card. We’ll see how to read it.

11. Branches - Position 1 : Making up after a quarrel. (...) Usually the agreeement comes of its own accord. A sense of contentment accompanies the picture. A kiss or an embrace will smooth over the matter. All bad feelings will be forgotten.

Well, I do expect a quarrel to be settle down this month but not within my family member, but between friends. So I’m not sure what this is about. Let’s bet on friends and see later.

45. Pig - Position 1 : Positively a prosperous and happy year The picture in this position is always welcome as it indicates a good year for you. It does not necessarily mean that you will get rich suddenly; rather, it means that within your present circumstances, you will be very comfortable. You will not have money problems. Life will be easy, comfortable, and free of any major economic problems.

I do trust this to be true, as I pay close attention to our financial life and try to keep it smooth. Also, since my SO decided to reduce smoking it helped a lot. Also know, this month I’ll have a raise, so there’s that too.

13. Boy - Position 4 : An unexpected meeting or a date This could simply be running into an old friend, co-worker, neighbor, or an old flame. Hower, the picture can also mean that someone will call you unexpectedly for a date. (...) The picture could also refer to running into someone who has inflicted pain or hurt you in some way in the past. However, when they see you, you will be at your best, surprising them. You will get a childish sense of pleasure at having conquered your fears and hurts and being able to see the other person objectively.

I’ve seen the same info for my monthly horoscope about a date around the 16th. So I wouldn’t be surprise to see friends around that time or have some sweet time with my SO.

19. Castle - Position 1 : Fulfillment of hopes, although at the end of your life The problem is that many of us want it sooner than is ordained. We don’t want to wait a lifetime (...) The picture tells you to relax, stop rying so hard, keep on working toward your goal, don’t rush it. You will get what you want, but later. (...)The Russians say : the quieter you travel, the farther you’ll get.(...)

When I pulled the cards, I thought about my weight loss struggles. It might be it. I also thought about goals, financial ones and “what next?” as I feel a bit lost right now. So this might be just to tell me to enjoy the ride ...

25. Ring - Position 3 : An interruption of relations between lovers or friends It is up to you to examine your relationship if this picture comes up. (...) You cannot change the other person, but you can work on yourself, so that you can rekindle your relationship if it is a worthwhile one.

I don’t know what to do with this one.

46. Bridge - Position 4 : If you want freedome, create a bridge over the chasm Seek a new solution to your problem. Rather than getting stuck in your problem, create a new bridge that will let you step over it.

If this is about the landlord, than I don’t know many more solutions since he doesn’t want to listen to reason. Maybe look into owning an appartment?

48. Rooster - Position 2 : Heart-to-heart sharing of news You will be in a situation with either one other person or a goup, where you will have a conversation about important feelings or occurences in your lfe. The information you exchange will be important to both your lives. You may clarify your feelings toward each other or resolve a problem. The conversation will leave you with a good feeling, satisfied and happy. The talk can be with a relative, spouse, friend, or co-worker. Quite often when good friends meet after being apart for a while, they have this kind of conversation, filling the gaps or the missing years.

Ah. Coworkers will come and go all month and friends too. Probably that.

24. Heart - Position 4 : You are in agreement with close people This means that the love you have for your family, close friends, and humankind is mutual. (...) The old Russian proverb says: Love toward people is the best richness. Not only do you gain, but so do others.

And again, people and interraction. It’s very social this month !

Now, for the last card. It’s quite easy really. As per usual, it is to read the first position of each image, but we’ll start with the picture formed and its meaning in its position.

49. Dagger : You will escape danger due to the concern of a friend Because you will escape danger, you may not even be aware that there is any danger. The picture is reassuring.(...)

Well, that’s a complicated way to pay attention, listen to advice given and be kind to friends.

Outcome

- Road : Happy path or road  - Dagger : You will be protected in time - Stars : Your guiding star will bring you to your goal - Book : Communication of a secret 

The Book and Dagger are mysterious. I think the Dagger is also a way to say to your actions need to be clear and clean. The Road and the Stars are telling me to keep working on my goals, whatever they are, greenlights everywhere.

[yourbespokeartisanalapocalypse]

Devils of Darkness (1965)

Last night’s film was *drum roll*...

The Streaming-Service-Whose-Name-I-Dare-Not-Utter informs me that this is a “rare” British film and, to be fair, I hadn’t heard of it. It isn’t a Hammer production and it shows. It’s slower, more thoughtful, a bit less glossy (and salacious) than a Hammer horror. And I loved it.

Devils of Darkness is prolific British pulp-movie director Lance Comfort’s final film, and stars William Sylvester (who was in 2001: A Space Odyssey a few years later), Hubert Noël (a French actor who was in about a million things I ought to know but don’t), Carole Gray (who was in quite a few horrors before moving into theatre), and Tracy Reed (who was in both Dr Strangelove and A Shot in the Dark).

It is another vampire tale, set in the present day (1965), and involves a cult who appear to worship the vampire, Count Sinistre. His name is the worst part of the whole film. For some reason my brain kept muddling it with “fenêtre” and calling him “Count Window”. Anyway, that’s not important right now because the film is otherwise great fun.

It starts sometime in the past with a Gypsy wedding. The bride (Carole Gray)  dances this wonderfully energetic dance as part of the festivities...

Wikipedia informs me that Carole Gray was in fact a dancer and I don’t think these gifs do her justice. I’ve read my fair share of 19th-century supernatural tales and it reminded me a lot of the wildness of the tarantella danced by the gypsies in Bulwer-Lytton’s novel Zanoni (1842):

They whirl into the noisy circle of the revellers. Ha! ha! is not this better than distilling herbs, and breaking thy brains on Pythagorean numbers? How lightly Fillide bounds along! How her lithesome waist supples itself to thy circling arm! 

Tara-ra-tara, ta-tara, rara-ra! 

What the devil is in the measure that it makes the blood course like quicksilver through the veins? Was there ever a pair of eyes like Fillide’s? Nothing of the cold stars there! Yet how they twinkle and laugh at thee! And that rosy, pursed-up mouth that will answer so sparingly to thy flatteries, as if words were a waste of time, and kisses were their proper language.

[...] 

Take care! What are you about, sir? Why do you clasp that small hand locked within your own? Why do you—Tara-rara tara-ra tara-rara-ra, rarara, ta-ra, a-ra! Keep your eyes off those slender ankles and that crimson bodice! Tara-rara-ra! There they go again! And now they rest under the broad trees. The revel has whirled away from them. They hear—or do they not hear—the laughter at the distance? They see—or if they have their eyes about them, they SHOULD see—couple after couple gliding by, love-talking and love-looking. But I will lay a wager, as they sit under that tree, and the round sun goes down behind the mountains, that they see or hear very little except themselves.

If you don’t know about it, go read up on the tarentella - it’s a dance suffused with the history of magic and supernatural folklore. 

Anyway, just as the wedding is about to be formalised, a wind picks up and a shadow falls across the congregation, and the bride falls down dead! *le gasp*

Only, as the coffin is being transported to the cemetary, the wagon is attacked and a mysterious figure opens the coffin and reanimates Tania.

Flash forward to All Hallows Eve, 1965 and two swell couples are merrymaking on their hols in France. Count Sinistre and Tania (who is now his vampire queen) make short work of three of them...

... , leaving the fourth - our hero Baxter (played by William Sylvester), perplexed and little upset.

He returns to England where he deals with his grief by attending wild parties with super stylish models. For a moment there I thought I’d fallen into Breakfast at Tiffany’s. But no, he makes time to research and to formulate a theory about what happened to his friends.

Eventually, he realises that the object he absent-mindedly took from one of the murder scenes is a McGuffin talisman and that it holds great power and is vitally important to Count Sinistre.

I’m fighting hard to resist giving away the rest of the plot because honestly if you like 1960s vampire flicks, you should check this out. It’s fun, it’s a bit smarter than a lot of them, the cast are fab, Lance Comfort’s direction is faultless, and Count Sinistre looks like he stepped out of a Renault Clio ad. Va va Vooom.

Oh, and as a cool point of interest given my previous postings about dance in horror, that dance at the start is mirrored several times across the film in quite interesting ways. At one party, in upmarket swinging 60s London, a large drum is laid on the floor for people to dance on. How cool is that?

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One:  Storybrooke, Maine

Chapter 4:  Overwhelmed

With David gone, he was free to show weakness, to reach his hand out to one of the counters to help steady himself. His cane helped, but it suddenly wasn't enough. He was short of breath. He felt dizzy, like the room was spinning uncontrollably around him, morphing and changing before his eyes while it all stayed still and the same. He felt like he might be sick, but even as he stood there, huffing and puffing, staring down at the floor to try and get his bearings, he was aware that what he was feeling wasn't a physical sensation. It was a mental one. He was overwhelmed.

Over one hundred and fifty years he'd been working on that Curse…that was over one hundred and fifty years he'd been trying to find a way to the Land Without Magic to get his son back! And now, here they were. Here he was. He'd been here for years and yet this was the first opportunity for it to all hit him, the reality to truly sink in. He'd made it. Baelfire was here, in this world, somewhere! He had to find him. Now! But first…

He finally picked his head up and looked around the shop. His shop. What a strange and peculiar feeling. He knew who he was. He was Rumpelstiltskin, The Dark One, father of Baelfire. But now he was also Mr. Gold. No first name. He'd never thought that was strange before until now. Whenever he-Mr. Gold-had thought of himself he'd always thought of himself as Mr. Gold or Gold. It was his preference. He'd never considered that an oddity. It was the power of the Curse. He knew every answer to the state bar exam, knew how to stand in front of a judge, to litigate, he knew how to run a business, how to assess antiques, how to drive, he knew an infinite amount of facts and actions he hadn't known before-but he never thought twice about having no first name. Ironic, at home, he'd been a man who preferred to trade in names, and so the Curse had given him none. But it had upheld Regina's deal. The Curse had given him power. He had wealth and land, just as he'd wanted when he talked to that werewolf what seemed like eons ago! He owned Storybrooke, in addition to a home, a cabin, a fine car…and this shop.

This shop…

He felt as though he'd never seen it clearly before now, like all his life, in all his time here, he'd been living in a fog, and now the fog had cleared. He looked at the shop with new eyes, looked at all his treasures with fascination. For everything he knew about each one of them, there was now a new story.

Wands, Mr. Gold thought in his head. A collection of six, used in pagan worship during the seventeenth century to direct magic. Pawned by an elderly man, they'd become his when he defaulted on his loan.

But that was a lie, he now knew. He'd collected those wands himself. Gotten all but one of them from a dead gypsy. The other he'd gotten from personally destroying a Fairy. They were used to channel fairy magic.

Necklace, Mr. Gold thought the moment he spotted a damaged snowflake necklace hanging in a frame. Sold to him by a woman who was looking to pay for some books for school. It wasn't worth paying money for repairs, so he'd left it.

But that was Anna of Arendelle's necklace, the one he'd taken when he'd gone to take the Sorcerer's Hat from Ingrid and left with her niece in an urn instead. He didn't see the urn anywhere, and Mr. Gold knew that he didn't have it. There were a few things here that had been in that room, they would need to be protected, but the urn, which he hadn't thought to mark as he had so many other objects before him, was missing. Still, the wands, Anna's necklace, the globe he'd seen in his vision, Robin's bow, Geppetto's parents-or what was left of them, Snow White's boat…they were all here. Even…

He took his cane and hurried over to the hatbox that he'd once given Jefferson. He wanted to peer inside, but Gold knew it was empty even before he could open it. The hat was gone. Odd. He hadn't marked either the hat or the box, and yet one of them had made it back to him. Strange.

Cane in hand, he took one final look around and then let himself wander into the back room. Another strange sensation. He wanted to rummage, he wanted to root around his shop and locate every little thing, to identify where things were…but instead, he stayed perfectly still. He didn't have to "root around." He knew where everything was. The medallion, the one that would summon the wraith to him, was safely stored. In the safe were the adoption papers for Cinderella, called Ashley here, that would assure him a favor from Emma one day.

The Black Fairy's Wand, he knew without searching, was not in his possession. Another oddity. He had marked that wand, but he could also remember the Blue Fairy entering his property when he'd been imprisoned. If anyone was bound to take it and place a spell over it powerful enough to keep it from him in this Curse, it would be that bitch. He smirked. She wasn't a fairy here, just a human. Mother Superior, she ran the convent of nuns that he hated so. They were always late on their rent. Perhaps he could have some fun with that now that he was awake. Figured…she always played the role of Holier-Than-Thou back home, so it seemed in the Curse she did too.

Belle's chipped teacup…it was there, sitting in the back, set aside from the world because he'd been meaning to fix it despite never finding the chip that went to it. He felt a certain amount of thankfulness for that chip. If it wasn't there, he might have accidentally sold it by now. Or…

His eyes fell on the cupboard across the room. Inside was the saucer to the teacup, the one that he placed a spell on so that when the two were reunited, Pandora's Box might be revealed. He knew nothing of the box except…maybe he did. In front of that cupboard, he was aware of a hollow place under the floorboards. Gold never thought much of it but in front of the cupboard in his castle was where he'd hidden Pandora's Box. What was the chance it was there now? He didn't move to find out. He doubted it would work at the moment. He could feel magic in the air, but it was weak. Every last ounce of it in this world was being used to hold the Curse together. If he wanted to get Pandora's Box, he was going to need magic. And he needed the girl for that.

Emma.

Nearly everything he needed was here in his shop, even if Gold hadn't known it; a genie lamp, his old spinning wheel, David's sword, before he'd taken it, of course, invisible chalk for protection spells, his spell bag was most valuable at a time like this…but the egg he'd had David hide was missing. In the belly of a beast. The Library…

There had been stories for years that a dragon lived in the basement…local lore. Only right this moment, he had a feeling that it was a little more than local lore. Same for the well, the one in the middle of the woods was said to have the ability to return that which was lost. He smiled. Gold's history of this town was going to be quite helpful. He knew where the potion was, and he knew where the well was. All he needed now was the Savior, Emma, to get it for him. Where was she?

David was out looking for her at the moment. But he'd rather find her before David did. In fact…he should have…he recalled the vision he'd had in the Enchanted Forest, the one that had told him he needed Emma's name to become his trigger word. In that vision, when he woke up, he was at Granny's, in the little bed and breakfast. In that vision, the Savior stood before him. In that vision, David was nowhere to be seen. This scenario, clearly, hadn't been that scenario, but then…how was this possible? The Seer was wrong? But the Seer was never wrong? She might sometimes warn him when a vision was a possibility rather than absolute, but that vision was absolute. It shouldn't have happened this way. Why had it?

Something was wrong. If it wasn't the Seer, then something else wasn't right. But what?

The time!

He hobbled across the room to the place he kept his books. He had a theory, just one, but he needed dates to figure it out. His books were complete, they went back for decades, and naturally, it was all in his handwriting because the Curse was cleverly detailed but wading through the hazy memories Mr. Gold had, he noticed a problem. While Gold had memories of writing it all down, he couldn't find an actual memory of doing it before 1983. That meant everything before that was filled in by the Curse. They'd arrived in 1983. It was 1992. If they arrived in 1983, just after the Savior was born and sent here…the child's twenty-eighth birthday…

His head spun again, this time with disappointment and sorrow as his theory was confirmed. He felt…he felt like he had after he'd gotten back from Neverland without his father. He felt like his hopes were dashed. He'd been so excited, so ready to go and find Baelfire. But it wasn't going to be happening any time soon. Emma wasn't here. Not yet. At the moment, she couldn't have been more than...what…nine? Ten? He was still practically two decades away from getting back to his son.

But if Emma was still two decades away from arriving and breaking the Curse, why had David come in asking for her now, memories and all. And, for that matter, why had he never seen David before this moment in this town?! Was it his memory? Was he just too hazy to recall him? No. No, he was certain he'd never laid eyes on David before in this shop, but…

He had a memory, a memory that wasn't actually a memory, but rather something that had been implanted into Gold's mind. It was a memory of a windmill, one that was in his shop right now. It had been brought in by a woman who claimed it had come with a house she and her husband had just bought. Her husband, the woman claimed, couldn't stand it. The woman was familiar to him. It had been the former Princess Abigail, Midas' daughter, and David's former fiancé…in this world, she was called Kathryn, and she'd had a husband also named David, but he'd never met Kathryn's husband, he hadn't been with her on that day or ever again because…he'd left. The talk of the town…

He gripped his cane tight and focused on the floor, trying to sort through memories that weren't actually memories was giving him a headache. That could be the Curse. Many spells and curses that affected memory had a tendency to give the victim headaches when poked or prodded too much. If the Curse had been broken entirely, he might not have been feeling it, but since it wasn't broken, it was fighting back, trying to pull him under. He didn't have the magic to fix it, but Gold had Tylenol around to help. Of course, if the headache was brought on by magic, he doubted acetaminophen would help. Then again, neither was standing here gawking at words he'd never known before like Tylenol and acetaminophen. Focus. He had to focus and not grow so overwhelmed. The talk of the town, Kathryn, David…sort the memories…

The talk of the town was that David had gone away. They'd been married one day, and the next David had gone. The gossip was that after an argument, David had left Kathryn and hadn't been seen since. They'd all assumed he'd run away somewhere, but…that wasn't possible. The Curse would have made sure of it. He'd been here, all this time, but where?

Memories. So many false memories to work through, so much haze to gaze through. Where had David been?!

He knew where…the hospital. He had another memory, another cursed memory, something his mind was convinced he'd experienced, but he knew he hadn't.

Focus!

Sheriff Graham had brought a picture by once of a man who was in a coma, John Doe, they'd called him. The picture had been a polaroid taken hastily of a man in a hospital bed, wires and tubes sticking out of him so machines could monitor him. The sheriff, Regina's lover, the hunter from the Enchanted Forest who had rescued Snow and allowed Regina to take him in turn…

He breathed. He tightened his grip on his cane.

The hunter had brought the photo to him because he'd wanted to know if he recognized John Doe as a tenant. He was in a coma after being found suspiciously on the side of the road, and they had no clues as to who he might be. He hadn't either, not at the time, not in the memory. But now, he did.

The man had been David. David had been in a coma in the hospital all these years. So when David said the flower woke him up…did he mean it figuratively or literally? Or both. Regina would know. She was the maker of the Curse. She'd be awake just as he was and a few memories, real and true memories, that he possessed of their encounters together suggested that she was very aware of who she was and where she was from, but…he didn't want her to know he was awake, not until the time was right. And there was no way to have this conversation with her without revealing his own knowledge. This wasn't that time.

But right time or not, Snow and David had awakened early and were searching for their daughter; that was why her name was uttered ahead of schedule.

The pixie flower…the flower that awakened them; those flowers grew in the presence of great evil. He'd been in this town a decade already. He'd never seen the flower and knew there wasn't magic enough to grow them all in the Curse. The magic the Curse had was too busy sustaining itself. But maybe…Snow, Mary Margaret, had found the flower. She always was the target of Regina's rage. Maybe if the women had an encounter and the Evil Queen said something particularly cruel or wicked, perhaps it would allow one flower to grow. It was, as they said in this world, a fluke. Only he'd been awakened early as well. And Emma was ten, and if her parents left to find her as they seemed so determined to do…

He had to fix this.

[theshelbycurse]

Escaping Bodyguards

OC Shelby!Sister

Summary: Lyssa Shelby is the twin sister of Finn Shelby and has always been protected fiercely by each and every one of her siblings. On the day of her brother’s wedding, Lyssa finds herself trying to navigate the ways of her protective older brothers while also having a bit of fun. 

Warning: swearing, drinking and the tiniest crumb of smut that you can easily skip. (with an OC, NO incest will be happening today people.)

*not my gifs

Words: 5848

Today was the day. Throughout the many trials and tribulations that this family had faced together, Lyssa had to admit the strangest sight she has ever had a chance to witness was her brother, Thomas Shelby, standing in a Church, waiting for his bride. 

Growing up in the Shelby clan, was unconventional to say the least. With an illegal betting shop running rampant on a daily basis just underneath her feet, to men with guns turning up on her doorstep for a various sleuth of reasons. It had reached a point where Lyssa would open the door and simply sigh in boredom of the predictability of it all. 

Though while most would think that because Lyssa belonged to the most powerful family in Birmingham that her life was filled with excitement and adventures to an enviable amount. But sadly for the fifteen year old that most certainly was not the case. As Lyssa found herself with three and a half (Finn really tries his hardest sometimes) bodyguards spoiling any fun she might have. 

Every time so much as a drop of whiskey ends up in her glass, Arthur is the one to steal it from her grasp and finish it off in one annoying gulp. Any time a lad so much as looks in her direction, John has stormed over to go and rob them of their eyes. And if it probably weren’t for Aunt Pol’s words of restraint then Lyssa was sure that all the boys in Birmingham would have been blind

But Tommy, he was by far the worst. 

Since the moment that Tommy had locked eyes on the bouncing babe, the heart that he so adamantly denies owning melted to a pathetic little puddle. So from then on he has been by the side of Lyssa Shelby at his every possible moment. Helping her grow and watching her become the beauty that she was today. 

But with that came its challenges, Lyssa had true Gypsy blood coursing through her veins that flooded her with this near untamable wildness that had Tommy exhausted at all times. And with age it most certainly got more dangerous, with her desires for partying, drinking and riding until the crack of dawn had paired alongside her looks that got most lads drooling from the corner of their mouths. 

But today was different. Lyssa had promised him and Aunt Pol to be on her best behaviour throughout the whole ceremony. Though, Tommy wasn’t exactly going to be placing any bets on it. 

The wedding was predictable, the Shelbys all rowdy and noisy, Lyssa’s cheers reaching Tommy’s ears with an unspoken glee over her acceptance to his more than risky choice in wives. And then of course Grace’s more poised side of the family. The calvary suit wearing cowards and their wives all sitting so straight Lyssa was sure that they must be held up by the sticks that were wedged so far up their arses. 

The large group of bustling folk all pushed and pulled one another to the steps of the Church afterwards, John dragging Lyssa around with his arm draped over her shoulder as they whispered vulgar jokes to one another. The pair ultimately finding themselves beside Tommy as they grinned up at him with that mischievous glint that had him cursing under his breath. 

Once the photo had been taken, the large party found themselves scampering back to Tommy’s large manor for the real fun to begin. Lyssa and Finn sharing gleeful glances to one another, in hopes that they might actually get the chance for some real havoc tonight. 

But not even five minutes after entering the house, had Lyssa been dragged by her elbow by none other than her less than gentle eldest brother, Arthur. “What are you doing? I haven’t even done anything.” Lyssa squealed, fighting weakly to get out of Arthur’s tight grip whilst he tugged her throughout the lively party. Her face set in a deep frown, as she watched the envious sight of everything going on around her, with the knowledge that she was most definitely not going to be able to get anywhere near it.

“Yeah, and your not gonna do, are ya?” He not so gently demands, peering down at his wild sister as she makes good effort to avoid any scrutinizing eyes. With a heavy sigh, not in the mood for the taming of her inevitable rebellious tendencies, Arthur continued on his war path towards the meeting he knew was to take place. “This isn’t about you Lyssa. Tom wants a quick family meeting.” He responded, stomping through the maze of the house with John clipping at their heels. 

After a fair amount of arguing between the three siblings on the right direction to the kitchen they finally found their way after the guidance of Tommy’s shouts leading them to their destination. Clomping down the stairs the three of them marched over to Tommy, Lyssa finding herself leaning beside Arthur as they waited for whatever this is to be over with. 

“Right, boys, Lyssa, you’re all here. Today, this is my fucking wedding day.” Tommy proclaimed like they all weren’t just at the Church watching him take his vows less than 20 minutes ago. Lyssa rolled her eyes, sensing the second round of lectures she was going to get. 

“Yeah, and you said there’d be no bloody uniforms.” John retorted, his anger for the red suits being one of the only things John has blabbered on about with Lyssa this entire day.

“Nevertheless- Nevertheless John, despite the bad blood, I’ll have none of it on my carpet. Now for Grace’s sake, nothing will go wrong. Those bastards out there are her family. And if you fuckers do anything to embarrass her, your kin, your cousins, your horses, your fucking kids, you do anything...”

“Tom? Jeremiah piped up, thankfully breaking Tommy out of boring rant. 

“What?!”

“What about snow?” He asked, naively, Lyssa having to bring her hand up to her mouth to stop the giggles from toppling out of her mouth. 

“Yeah, their women are sports, I’ll say that.” John joked, ruffling Jeremiah head in a tight amusing headlock, providing Lyssa with just enough distraction to steal the cigarette from Michael’s lips and bring it to her own. Swatting away his attempts to retrieve it back with ease as she let the vile toxins run rampant in her blood. 

“No. No. No cocaine.” Tommy’s finger pointing down the line of boys with a set of instructions for each. “No cocaine. No sport.” He told John. “No telling fortunes. No racing.” He told Arthur, moving until he was in front of Lyssa and stealing the cigarette out of her lips and tossing it to the ground with that stern parental stare she loathed.“No drinking. No boys.” He commanded, Lyssa’s eyes growing wide and mouth dropping wide open in an almost comedic sight, ready to object to his ridiculous rules. 

But he was already off, moving to Finn without giving her a chance to breathe, grabbing each side of his cheeks in a tight grip. “No fucking sucking petrol out of their fucking cars.” He seethed, spinning around and marching over to Uncle Charlie lounging against the wall casually. “And, you, Charlie, stop spinning yarns about me, eh?”

“I’m just trying to sell you to them, Tom.” 

With a hand coming to pinch his eyes, in that typical sign of his overwhelming irritation, Tommy continued. “But the main thing is, you bunch of fuckers, despite the provocation from the calvary, no fighting.” His fury once again, making him step back up to John and Arthur. “No fighting. No fighting. No fucking fighting.” He fumes like a madmen, running up and down the line until he marches back into the center of the kitchen, holding his arms out wide. “No fucking fighting!” His voice bouncing off the porcelain walls with enough might that Lyssa was surprised hadn’t even managed to cause any one of the bustling workers to jump in fright.

Nodding to himself at the satisfying silence, Tommy brought his cigarette to his lips one more time, turning his head to the side to look at Lyssa, red in the face from the injustice she must be feeling. “All good with you, Lyssa?” He questions, clear in his voice that he wasn’t really caring for any opinions that his dear baby sister must feel.

“No wa-” Her objection not even a third of the way out her mouth before she was predictably cut off with a wave of his hand as he stomped his way over to her. 

“Good.” His tone final, as he cupped her cheek in his rough calloused hand and put a kiss to her forehead. The scene being abruptly ended by a poor misfortunate waiter mistakenly bumping into the pair, his fate being sealed as Tommy threw him down to the ground in one harsh shove while Arthur chose to throw some miscellaneous glass at the lad. 

Yet, while as entertaining as the moment might have been, all Lyssa could think about was how much she wished she was never born a Shelby. 

~~~~~~

Night had finally taken over, and despite Tommy’s strict instructions, Lyssa was predictably ignoring them. Though if Tommy thought that Lyssa would have been able to sit through the shit storm that was Arthur’s speech and not down at least an entire bottle of champagne, then he was truly going mad.

With the alcohol warming her blood and the bubbles rising to the tips of her head, Lyssa found herself wandering round and round the many halls of the house until she found herself stumbling outside to sneak a peek at Finn’s riding skills that had apparently been commissioned. 

Welcoming the night air into her lungs with a deep inhale, a fluttery grin stretched over Lyssa’s lips as she looked over to the blurry figures all crowding around the fire not too far away. Using the trees as her coverage, Lyssa sneaks to the edge of the party, peering around a large trunk. The alcohol in her veins not making her as foolish to believe that her older brothers wouldn’t crucify her to the spot if they saw she had snuck out to watch the men’s business. 

Watching as Finn crossed the finish line with large strides in front of his opponent, Lyssa’s smile grew impossibly larger, following him on his horse as he continues a few more feet before bringing the beast to a stop and dismounting her. Feeling braver in herself, Lyssa takes the potentially foolish move and ventures out of her hiding spot and over to her twin in a mad dash of wild dark curls bouncing in the wind behind her. 

“Well, well, well, and I was just starting to think that you were completely useless.” Lyssa teases, her brother whipping his head in the direction of her voice so rapidly he nearly tumbled over his own feet. A sight that already had Lyssa bursting into infectious giggles. 

“Lys, what the fuck you doin’ out here? If Tommy spots you-” Finn garbles out, tumbling over his own words as he looks over Lyssa’s shoulder frantically, scared of the thrashing both of them will probably earn if any of their older siblings catch Lyssa stumbling around in the dark. If it wasn’t evident enough, being the twin of Lyssa Shelby was one of the cruelest curses there was, and Finn was very much aware of that. 

“Calm down Finn, I thought your recent victory would have you in better moods.” Lyssa jokes, an uncontrollable round of drunken giggles falling out of her lips in the most obvious of ways. The very sight of it, making Finn spout every cuss he knew under his breath. 

“And you’re off your fucking arse. That’s just bloody great that is.” He mutters, running a hand down his face like he’s some old fucking soul having to babysit some demon child. It continuing to be absolutely hilarious for Lyssa to witness. 

“Jesus Finn, sometimes I think I have more balls than you do.” She jokes playfully, hands coming to rest on Finn’s shoulders as she gives him a light shake. “Come on brother, just let me have fun for only this night, eh?” Pretty blue puppy dog eyes staring hopefully up at him, that Finn was almost sure might even manage to get the likes of stone cold Tommy to bend to her will. 

“Yeah, come on Finn, the young lady here is just wanting to have a good time. I vote you let her.” An unfamiliar male voice comes injecting into the air before Finn even had a chance to inevitably cave into her demands. Rowdy laughter falling at its heels as the two siblings turn with furrowed eyebrows to a small group of four or five boys crowding a few steps away from them. 

Suit jackets long forgotten, with only their crisp white shirts on display and loose bow ties hanging around their necks while a bottle of dark amber liquid gets passed back and forth between them all. Yet, there was no need for questions on who decided to put their opinion forward, as in the middle of the joyous group laid a man with glistening eyes and a snake charmers smile, both of which being directed on the youngest Shelby. 

With a new sense of thrill coursing through her veins, Lyssa turned to the unknown boy with a smirk tugging at her lips while the fire burning beside them created shimmering patterns on her jet black curls. “And I’m guessing you have suggestions on how I should spend this good time.” She teased, not even having to look towards Finn to know the face he was predictably pulling. 

“A few come to mind.” He replies, an annoyingly arrogant grin painted on his face as he attempts at closing the gap between them. 

Where she was sure that this mystery charmer was expecting the usual routine of girls crashing down on their knees for him after giving them one small ounce of his prestige attention, Lyssa was much too stubborn to fall under some rich boys tricks. “Sorry pretty boy, but if I was to have one night of freedom, I wouldn’t be turning to you.” She retorted, the show of turning her body away from his and back towards an impatiently anxious Finn not fooling many for the need this girl is obviously wanting to be chased.

“And why’s that?” He calls out once more, determination mixed with the necessity to prove his manly bravado to the group of his friend spectating, not faltering his efforts. 

Turning her head back towards him with a sickly sarcastic smile, Lyssa couldn’t stop her champagne-filled mind from blurting out the first snarky thing she came up with. “The kind of excitement I’m looking for wouldn’t end in a couple minutes.” That smile of his only seeming to lift higher from the fiery girl’s venomous tongue, while the loud obnoxious laughs and shouts echo behind him from his fellow companions.

Though Finn was in no mood for such amusement, as he quickly spots that familiar hunched over figure marching over to the spot he was regrettably standing. So, with hurried movements, Finn grabs a hold of Lyssa’s shoulder and whispers down in her ear, away from the continued laughter the boys relent in stopping. “Alright I think it’s time you get back inside, yeah? I think I see Arthur coming over.”

With a clarity bursting through her tipsy haze, Lyssa’s eyes grow wider than they already comically were as she mutters a fuck under her breath as her gaze too lands on the unmistakable sight of her moustache owning brother rapidly coming their way. Swiveling around to face her charmer, Lyssa rushes out a somewhat goodbye, “Well, as entertaining as this was, I’ve got to go.” 

Without even waiting for the confused ramblings she was certain were going to be called after her shadow, Lyssa’s long lanky limbs sprinted back towards the golden archway beckoning her safety away from overprotective bodyguards. Yet, as predictable as it was annoying, a harsh calloused grip grabs a hold of her elbow and has he stumbling on her feet upon meeting the hard stone-like chest of her unknown creeper. 

But Lyssa isn’t given a moment to scramble and fidget against what could possibly be an overzealous drunken taking his chance on an unguarded companion, because their voice quickly squashes any fear and turns it into a completely different emotion entirely. “And what are you doing out ‘ere?” John’s hold on her arm growing to uncomforting levels. 

“John, let me go!” Lyssa whined, pulling and tugging against him no matter how futile it was seeming to be. 

“Not until you tell me, why me little sister is running round in the dark, stinking of booze worse than fucking me and Arthur put together.” John demanded, and despite having no where near the amount of fear imposing aura that Tommy exudes, he actually managed to cause of flutter of panic in Lyssa. 

Stopping her weak attempts to break free, Lyssa’s eyes move sheepishly downcast as she tries to avoid meeting John’s crazed parental stare that she honestly didn’t know he had the capability to possess. “I just wanted to see the races, ok?” She meekly responded, her words coming out slightly muffled and only reducing her to more of a child-like standard. 

Finding it near impossible to maintain his gruff persona, especially when his baby sister was looking more and more like that naive little 10 year old she had been when he came back from the war, John relented his grip and blew out a heavy sigh. “Fine, alright, but you best get back inside. There’s some fucking shit happening on tonight and Tommy will have a fucking fit if you get mixed up in it, yeah?” Lifting up her chin with his index finger til she met his gaze, with that new troubling curiosity. 

“What’s going on?” She questioned with newfound excitement, the world of the Peaky Blinders always providing her with this bursting want to know more and more, until she possibly couldn’t store all the information away.

Yet, it seemed that thirst for knowledge wasn’t well appreciated by her other family members, as with an unavoidable slap across the back of the head, John cursed her off with a less than gentle shove back in the direction of the golden archway. “What did I just fucking say? Get back inside.” And with her better judgement, Lyssa went on her way back inside, unbeknownst to the fascinated eyes trailing behind her. 

~~~~~~

Lyssa had actually managed to listen to her brother this time, knowing just the one thing not to fuck with was, business. As despite the many adventures of her life and the many troubles she has tumbled in, never once has she been brazen enough to battle with the dangerous underworld her family seemed to encompass. 

Tommy saw to it that the littlest of his siblings stayed in the shadows of the gangsta lifestyle he committed himself to, the only gift they were given being a silent bystander in the background of family meetings out of the courtesy the title has. Family. But otherwise, Lyssa and Finn were to keep their hands clean from the blood and dirt, that he was sure would have rottened them down until they were just as broken as the three worn torn brothers battling their demons at every crossroads. 

Granted he may have been more lenient when it came to the activities he chose to include Finn in, but no chance between an inch of his life would he ever beckon Lyssa into it. And he did to warn her as such at every opportunity that was given to him. 

So, with the new damper in moods, Lyssa saw it best to camp out in Tommy’s office alongside a large bottle of champagne. It being the safest of whereabouts in order to not accidentally tumble onto a scene she should very much not be anywhere close to, so as to avoid a thrashing from either her aunt or brother that would have the back of her head sore in the morning to come.  

Roaming around the large - potentially obnoxious - room, Lyssa lazily snooped through all the pictures littering the mantles whilst taking leisurely sips from the bottle in her hand. Not even taking too much notice to the sound of the creaking door being opened behind her. 

“And here I was thinking that I had simply made you up.” A voice called out, that same voice that secretly nearly had her swooning earlier in the night. It causing her to spin on her heels to look at the painfully stunning boy leaning against the door with one hand on the handle.

“Did I really hurt your ego that badly that you’ve come searching for me?” She teased, that playful smile crossing her face once more as she watched him daringly inch further into the room and shut the door to a solid close behind him. A perfect smile of his own sitting on the corner of his lips so enticingly. 

“More my pride.” He replied, his feet taking him further into the fire lit room while Lyssa remained off to the side, eyes never falling apart from one another. 

“You’re a prideful man then? I must saw I was hoping for something not quite so predictable.” Lyssa snarked back, breaking off the locked gaze as she moved herself over to Tommy’s large desk to fully lean on, the painfully constrictive shoes forcing her feet with some much needed relief. 

“So you admit that you were hoping for something?” He switched back onto her, that damn smile too dazzling to not draw Lyssa back in to that equally as dazzling face. 

“I admit nothing.” Lyssa surprised by her own control to keep her voice level and chin pointed upwards, even with his continued path gaining closer and closer to small frame. 

A small breathy laugh leaves his lips at her unwavering stance, the sound being enough for Lyssa’s grip round the bottle to tighten ever so slightly. It was really beginning to irritate her slightly that nearly everything he did seemed to make him more attractive. 

“To answer your question, if I’m a prideful man? The answer is no.” The proximity between them melting until it was nearly nothing, his hand coming to unlatch hers from around the champagne bottle to put it on the desk beside her. His warm breath fanning Lyssa’s rosy cheeks. “But you set me a challenge. And I’m never the one to back down from a challenge.” 

He was towering over her now, hands coming to gingerly place themselves on either side of her waists while hers remain frozen to her sides, all of Lyssa’s brain function flying out the window. She was shocked that she was capable of uttering out any more words. “I don’t remember any challenge.” Her voice just above a whisper at this point, as if they were in a bustling room trying to keep their conversation quiet enough so they would be the only ones that could hear it. 

In an action that made an audible gasp come falling out of Lyssa’s mouth, his hands on her waist tightened and lifted her up and onto the desk with his new place being found between her newly opened legs. All sense of space completely banished as her hands came to grip on his most likely expensive suit jacket while his remained fierce on her waist. 

Lips a mere inch from one another, Lyssa’s darkened eyes found his as he uttered his next words. “You reckoned I could only last a couple minutes. I’m here to prove you just how wrong you are.” Without a moment even to let his words sink in, his lips were crashing into Lyssa’s, no tender moment shared but only a lust filled battle for dominance that the Shelby was happy in conceding in. 

Her hands winding up to take purchase in the soft tendrils of his hair on the back of his neck, her sharp nails digging in roughly that left a gaspy growl fall into her mouth. His movements not being any gentler as the grip on her waist tightened impossibly firmer, pulling her into his hard chest while remaining seated on the desk. 

With nearly all the air being sucked dry from their lungs, both parties pulled away only by a hair, their heavy breathing filling the silence that is quickly replaced by an abrupt breathy moan coming out of Lyssa’s mouth as he moves down to place hot wet kisses down the length of her neck. Expertly finding the sensitive spot just in the crook of her neck, below her earlobe, causing a euphoric feeling of bliss taking form in a multitude of quiet moans filling the air.

The sound being enough for Lyssa to feel the breathtaking feeling of his hard cock beginning to bulge against the warmth of her inner thing. Greedy hands moving quickly to rid him of the belt constricting him away from her, the action alone admitting another guttural growl out of him as he moves his own hands down to her soft thighs. 

Mouths finding each other once again while the final pieces of clothing are stripped away from their most sensitive areas, Lyssa’s moans erupting in his mouth as she feels his cock aline to her slits. And with one slightly unexpected thrust, Lyssa wasn’t able to quieten herself as yet another moan slips out into the empty office. It echoing off the walls forcing her to move her mouth to his shoulder to muffle the noise, whilst he continued on with his mind fogging thrusts, getting deeper and harder at each movement. 

However, just as Lyssa began to feel the uphill climb begin towards her climax, the grand door blocking them off from the rest of the party comes swinging open in a rapid succession. The action immediately setting both Lyssa and....the boy who she has realised remained nameless throughout... into hurried and clumsy movements as they bounced off of each other and attempted of sorting their clothes in a stupidly inconspicuous fashion.

With the worst dread she has ever felt in her entire life, Lyssa locked eyes with Tommy, sliding off his desk and flattening out the end of her skirt with an awkward and uncomfortable smile stretching on her lips. She just watched Tommy stand there, his jaw visibly tight as his cold eyes continuously flicked back and forth between herself and the boy with his back turned to him still as he continued to readjust his cock back into his pants. 

The silence of it all torturous as Lyssa waited for Tommy to do something; whether that be to start screaming or pull the gun she knew he had hidden somewhere around his office and end the poor lads life right where he stood. “What is this then?” His voice chilling Lyssa straight down to her bones as he wafted his hand between the two of them, it terrifying her so deeply that all the words in her vocabulary had simply escaped her. It leaving her mouth to simply open and closed like some sort of pathetic fish thirsting for oxygen. 

“Eh?” He prompted, eyebrows raised so high that they were nearly falling under his hair. Heavy footsteps storming closer to the door left wide open, only to slam it close in a thunderous clap that reminded Lyssa of the storms that used to terrorize her as a child. “You see, cause from where I’m standing-” His footsteps bringing him back into the centre of the room, his eyes blazing fury as he meets Lyssa doe eyed gaze. “It looks like that I walked in on me 15 year old sister getting fucked by some stranger, on me own desk, in me own house, on my own fucking wedding night!!” He roared, his presence trapping Lyssa against the desk as he stood a mere two steps away from her, like the true lion that he is looming over his prey. 

“Mr Shelby, if I may say that I’m sorr-” The boy sputtered out, not even being able to get his flimsy excuse of an apology out before Tommy quickly strays away from Lyssa and goes marching over to him. 

Tommy’s hands find themselves wound tightly around the poor lads neck, pushing him into the hard wooden wall behind him with such might that it has him already gasping with a necessity to breathe instantaneously. Ignoring the shouts Lyssa gives him from her place against the desk, Tommy’s hands dangerously tighten as he leans further into the struggling boy’s face. “If you are not out of this house in 30 seconds, then me and me brothers are going to start slicing pieces off of you until no girl is ever going to be able to stomach looking at that face of yours again.” Giving him one last knock against the solid wall before he forces him to meet Tommy dead in his ice blue eyes. “Is that clear?”

His dark threats gaining a hurried nod from the boy, before he is quickly scampering out the room the moment Tommy relented his life threatening grip. The speed he was moving in that would’ve proven comical to Lyssa under literally any single other circumstance then the mortifying one she found herself drowning in.

The moment that the doors once again slammed with a heavy bang, Tommy managed to turn his attentions back onto his little sister, that same questioning look from before still painted on his features as their gazes locked onto each others. “So?” He prompts, motioning with his hands in an annoyed attempt to start hearing whatever tales and excuses she has on the tip of her tongue. 

Though, while Lyssa usually finds herself fully capable of combating any person, in any situation, with her witty remarks and scathing snars, she find herself for once in her life with a complete blank slate on what it is she could possibly respond with that wouldn’t make this all horrifyingly worse. “I’m not quite sure what you want me to say.”

Retreating back into the cold, quietly threatening state that Tommy so loved to impose on his sister, his ice blue gaze burrowed deep into the meak facade Lyssa tried to defend herself with. “How ‘bout you start with telling me how long it’s been going on.” He not so subtly demands of her, the thought of what she has been doing for god knows how long making his jaw clench into near teeth shattering tenseness. 

“How long what’s been going on? I just met the lad tonight! I-” Lyssa retorts back, her voice already raising to risky levels. 

“Hey!” He cuts her off, striding back towards Lyssa with a finger pointing right into the center of her face. “I have about a million fucking things going on right now and so one thing I really don’t need is your fucking cheek!” He boomed, only lowering his voice for a mere quarter of a second as his eyes grow scarily dark peering into Lyssa’s icy blue. “Now you’re going to explain to me why you think it’s right that you can go around fucking whoever you fancy like some common whore, when you are only 15 years old!” 

As the words leave Tommy’s mouth, all thoughts of fear for the wrath of Tommy Shelby dissipated into nothing but an overwhelming rage that was tearing up her insides into flares of flames. Pushing against his chest with a mighty shove, Lyssa watched as he stumbled with a deep satisfaction. “God, can you hear the amount of fucking hypocrisy-”

“Look at you using fancy words. At least I know that you’re still going to school.” Tommy snarks, antagonising her to the furthest of her wits end. The feeling of literal smoke coming out of her ears sounding too much like reality.  

“Fuck off.” She spits, marching right back up to his face with that infamous Shelby anger waging a war inside of her. “You know we are literally standing in a house you share with your new wife who I’m sure wasn’t the one to be waiting for any vows to spread her legs open for you. I mean there’s fucking living proof sleeping just above our heads yet I don’t see you calling her a fucking whore!” 

Hands gripping onto her jaw with a bruising force, Tommy seethed, “Oi, you say another word-.” 

Shoving his hands away from her, Lyssa let out a breathy humorless laugh. “Yeah I get it Tom. Big bad scary Tommy Shelby’s going to set me out straight. You don’t have to say any more.” 

A deafening silence rung in the air for much longer than was comfortable, both siblings simply staring at one another with harsh heavy breathing being the only thing that was left to fill the room any more. “Right.” Tommy muttered, reaching into his pockets for his trusty cigarettes. “You are obviously having too much fucking freedom down in Small Heath. So, starting tomorrow, I’m sending a few boys to come and pack up all your stuff to bring here. You’ll be living under my fucking roof, where I can keep an eye on you and where there are gonna be some strict fucking rules, that starting from now, you are going to follow.” Tommy listed off, that calm business-like stature oozing off of him in infuriating waves. 

Knowing that she was fighting against a losing battle, Lyssa tried to object in the service of her pride. “Tom, you can’t be serious!” 

“Oh I am, and if I here that you have been running off with any sort of boy, then you will get the fucking thrashing of your fucking life. Do I make myself clear?” Tommy threatened, and by this point Lyssa was not brave enough to combat against his dark intimidations. 

“Yes.” She uttered, any sort of adrenaline wearing off of her tired bones as she lazily met Tommy’s gaze with little interest. 

Tommy stood there studying her for a second longer, wondering if some sort of second wind was going to hit her. But with the pleasant silence, Tommy simply motioned to the door with equally as tired movements. “Good, now go up to the guest bedroom and sleep it off. Hopefully the hangover tomorrow will serve you as a good start to your punishment.”  

And so she did. Lyssa trudged through the party that was only beginning to wind down and up the grand staircase and into the room that had been assigned to her, only this morning. Flopping face first on the comforting mattress, willing sleep to guide her away from the madness of the Shelby clan and into a world of her wildest fantasies. Neither Tommy or Lyssa knowing the fate that had been sealed for her that night as new plots thicken and new enemies crawl out of their shadows with her position has now being maneuvered into the firing line. 

~~~~~~

A/N  So this is my first post on here. I’ve written fanfics before on Wattpad and stuff but the format on here is so different so I’m unsure how I feel about it so I would love some feedback and if anyone would like some more moments from Lyssa and the Shelby’s please hit me up