#but here i am constantly trying to not let myself feel too bad until im alone bc man.

[thecherrygod]

/

[norrizzandpia]

hello, firstly i would like to say ur writing is phenomenal!! secondly i wanted to request something like the reader having some insecurities or just social media making her feel unworthy of lando thank u 🫶🏼

Ive been hanging onto this request for a while bc i love these scenarios bc they hit so close to home and I always need to be in the right mindset for them and now i am!

Love You the Way I Do (LN4)

Summary: When Y/n starts to pull back, Lando knows exactly what to do.

Warnings: insecurities, talks of not being good enough, language

Note: the reason ive been so mia on here is because ive just been in such a bad slump and not feeling good about myself or feeling good enough in general and im starting to get out of it with a lot of time focusing on myself but i really miss it on here so im using this as a way to kind of help me cope a bit with what ive been going through recently

Y/n was never good with her emotions. Discussing them and trying to work on them, she could never reach a certain level of comfortability with the people in her life that allowed her to be that vulnerable with them. Her parents, friends, and other family members had to pry words out of her when it was clear she was struggling and no amount of therapy sessions had cured the vicious cycle. However, Lando’s peaceful presence in her life had shifted the way she operated, allowed her to open up more easily with the way he would hold her until she was ready.

He was patient, almost strategic, when it came to getting through to her. Past moments of darkness where she would try to shut him out, try to be alone in the agony, were lessons in which ways worked best to get her to realize that he was there for her, waiting with open arms and constantly ready to listen.

Easing her mind, that was Lando’s job and he was damn good at it.

He could always tell when there was a war going on beneath the walls of her head. When she would go quiet or laugh just a bit less, he caught on fast. Just like now, as he sat on the couch in their shared apartment and watched her talk to her sister on the phone in the kitchen, Lando clocked the way she wasn’t as smiley, as excited to talk to one of her favorite people in the world.

“Thursday? No, I can’t do Thursday. I’ve got some stuff to do.” She mumbled into the speaker. Lando could hear her sister respond, something about Y/n being too busy, but he couldn’t truly digest the words, too engrossed in his own mind wondering what she had Thursday.

If he remembered correctly, she had nothing scheduled.

The second sign; distancing herself from people close to her and staying inside unhealthily.

She paced the room, rounding each corner of the counter as she bit the nail on her thumb, “Friday, no… next Monday, no… next Wednesday, no…”

Their conversation continued that way until her sister gave up on trying to find a date, muttering about letting her know when the next date Y/n was available was, and hung up. His girlfriend set the phone down on the marble, head falling forward as she huffed out a breath.

“You okay, love?” He spoke, voice hesitant as to not startle very clearly something loud in her mind.

She turned her eyes, squinting at him lightly before whispering, almost too quietly, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

A tired Y/n, Lando knew, warranted clinginess. That was her usual way of remedying exhaustion, curling up in his arms wherever he was and partaking in a Power Nap. Although, there was none of that as she walked out of the kitchen, turning a corner and disappearing behind their bedroom door.

Third sign; shutting Lando out, the one he hated the most.

He scrolled through his phone for a minute more, not wanting her to know he had already realized her turmoil. He wanted her to believe that his comfort was not out of pity, but love.

When the clock reached an even number, he got up from his seated position and pattered over to their door, knocking lightly.

“Y/n? Can I come in?” He said, though there was no response. He creaked the door open, seeing her frame turned away from him as it laid on their bed, her phone illuminating the room.

Because of the darkness and the only light coming from her phone, he could easily see what she was looking at. It was as clear as day and the reason for her distance, however painful, became apparent.

A twitter thread of why Luisa was better for Lando than Y/n.

It broke his heart.

He stood for a moment, taking in the scene before him and breathing deeply, and deciding his plan of action. It only took him a few seconds, although, he knew exactly what he wanted to say to her.

Lando approached her side of the bed and when his footsteps reached the ears of his beloved, she turned her phone off quickly. He kneeled down beside her, dried tears on her cheeks not going unnoticed by him. His hand cradled the side of her face that wasn’t pushed into her pillow and he kissed her forehead.

“Baby, I saw what you were looking at.” He whispered into the quiet. His green eyes bore into hers as she willed the knot in her throat to dissipate.

Lando gently took her phone from her hands, sliding it off the bed and setting it on the night stand next to him. He nudged her shoulder, signaling for her to move over so he could squeeze into her side of their massive bed. When he laid down, his arms wrapped tightly around her frame, squeezing the skin and warming it as she nuzzled her head into his chest.

“Why are you doing this to yourself? You know they’re wrong.” He tried.

Y/n pulled away from his chest, looking up at him and using her voice, albeit wobbly, “Do I know they’re wrong? Lan, you mean so much to so many people in this world, people you don’t even know the names of.”

He nodded, “Okay, yes, what does that have to do with this?”

She sniffled, “There are so many other women that could compliment you better. Women that people know the name of. Women that have made their mark on this world just like you have. I will never be able to be what you need me to be.”

Lando shook his head, her words outrageous in his mind because she was already everything he needed, just as she was.

“Y/n, what? What are you even saying? That’s crazy. You mean everything to me. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t care about anyone else, anything else. You compliment my life and my happiness perfectly. That’s all that matters.”

Wetness formed beneath her eyes once more and began to fall freely as she toyed with the hem of his shirt, “What if you wake up one day and realize that Luisa is better suited for the life you lead? What if one day you wake up and I am no longer good enough for you?”

Lando gaped at her, truly at a loss for words. In his mind, everything she was saying was so incredibly wrong, she couldn’t be farther from the truth. However, from the sadden look in her eyes, he could tell that she fully believed the things flying from her mouth. That idea, the thought that she was scared one day he would no longer cherish her in the way he does now, made him all the more determined to remind how much she matters to him and how that will never change.

“Y/n, stop. Listen to yourself. Have I ever made you feel inadequate?” He questioned, staring at her fiercely as if what she was saying made him defensive. It did in a way. He was defensive of the love he had for her, taking shame in the fact that he had made her feel as though their relationship would end.

She shook her head as he brought his fingers up to wipe at the tears still falling down her skin, “No, but-”

He brought his pointer finger to her lips, “No buts, Y/n. Listen to me when I tell you this. You have been and always be more than enough for me. You are the start and end of my day, and that is something I never want to change. Being scared that one day I’ll wake up and magically have fallen out of love with you is absolutely fucking clinically insane. It’s been two years we’ve been together, Y/n, and I still badger you at the end of the day, asking what you had done because I love to hear your voice. I love your rambles and I love the way you love me. There’s nothing that’s going to make me want to stop loving you because there’s really no going back. I’m in this with you and I always will be. You need to believe that. Believe me when I say the only way we will end is lying next to each other on our death beds with rings on our left fingers from our wedding decades ago.”

“That’s kind of morbid.” She whispered, a small smile gracing her features as his words sunk beneath her skin.

He chucked and leaned further into her, “It’s true. There will come a time where I get on one knee in front of you and beg you to be with me for the rest of our lives. There will come a time where I will stand in front of all of our friends and family, and declare my love for you and certainty over marrying you. I know these things will happen because I am interchangeably in love with you. And I know you are with me too. So, just leave social media be, baby. Stay here in this moment with me, push all those disgusting fans away and listen to my words. I love you,” He shook her head lightly in his hands as he spoke, “You are worthy of my love and love in general, and there will never come a singular moment where even the thought of leaving you passes my brain. We are it for each other, love. This is it for me.”

Her body relaxed fully into his arms and further into the bed as they stared at each other. Y/n giggled at his words and he smiled down at her, still holding her face whilst lightly rubbing excess tears in her soft skin.

A silence passed before Y/n mumbled, “I think I’m going to delete my social media platforms for a while. Take some time off and get back on track.”

Warmth swelled in Lando’s chest, threatening to spill out from his mouth at overwhelming amounts of it within his body.

“I’m so proud of you, love.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss her softly. He pecked her lips lovingly, sweet nothings spilling from his mouth in the form of the warmth that had been drowning him.

They stayed that way for a few hours, both falling in out of sleep in the arms of the other. And when crickets chirped and the clock read an ungodly time, Lando pulled Y/n from bed, into their bathroom, where he showed her how much he loved her. A bath, some face masks, and low music that he made her dance with him along to, all worked as ways for him to tangibly exude the feelings he had for her. No longer were the ex’s of his past, no longer were jealous fans, no longer were thoughts of unworthiness.

Just him, her, and the love that would never die out.

[katscatnip]

Listening to one song on repeat

My experience with listening to a certain sound or song on repeat for long periods of time.

Shown below all this text is my most recent streams on Spotify. as you can see,, there is just one song listed, and that's because It's all I've listened to for the past 2 days or so.

I have done this kinda thing sing as long as I recall having personal access and control over what I listen to. my earliest memories of it being the time my mom let me chose the song we play on the sound system (the song in question was Rock the Nation by Michael Franti) and i would constantly ask her to "play it again!" until she couldn't handle it anymore. Next it was when we bought the Curious George movie on CD and in the bonus features, there was a music video for the song played earlier in the movie Upsidedown by Jack Johnson (again was eventually asked to stop playing it over and over lmao.

Next was when i was old enough to stay for the "after school program" it essentially let the kids get into fun toys and boardgames and such and what I would do every single time is find one of the three sony CD walkmen in the electronics box, put in the Shrek soundtrack cd and set SmashMouth's allstar to loop, then proceed to walk up and down the gym's left wall gliding my fingers against the textured grout for the next hour and a half to three hours depending if it was an extended day.

Next was another walkman, my older sibling's bf at the time would bring one over with him when he visited along with his latest playlist burned to a cd and would let me borrow it. this is when I heard the oh-so-familiar and desired FireFlies by Owlcity (my current fav song at the time that I could only hear on the car radio when going into town) where I would proceed to lie on my upper bunk bed in complete darkness and imagine I was in space.

Another time was when a different friend would bring over their iPod and I would loop a couple greenday and Metallica songs over and over (I don't remember the song names now lmao)

Fast forward to my teen years im actively annoying my siblings after playing a song 7 times too many. yada yada ya-

I am aware of that now,,

my friends have been pointing out traits that were worth looking into for a while and I finally did and ya. when I went in they said it was not hard to notice and identify it from the moment I walked in the door.

Anyway, this post isnt about that its actually about how self-aware and insecure I've become from having others perceive this part of me. I've never really had any bad experiences aside from the occasional family member shout at me to "stop playing the same song" which is whatever.

The real issue for me is things like Spotify Wrapped and the idea that what I listen to as an auditory stim is perceived as my "taste" in music and such. i guess its rooted in maintaining a kind of character in the social aspect, and feeling like I have to make what I listen to look palatable to peers and that means having a high listen count and knowledge of artists whose music has meaning and depth while also not being caught listening to the opposite (breakcore, hyperpop, noise, goofy nonsensical hip-hopy stuff, etc)(?)

Which I'm finding to be stackingly exhausting and I think I've trying this year and lastyear to give myself the grace of being me and not conforming to the shape I feel pressured to fit into.

I hear and read a lot of peer's takes or reviews on music and such (which I think is important to have ofc) but it kinda feels to cliquey for me to feel fully comfortable being in those circle's conversations.

sometimes i just like the noises and vibration pattern coming from a specific artist's stuff and don't take in or care about the meaning or depth of a song's lyrics,, anyways yeah. here's some of the semi-recent past loops: (noise warning on some!🔊) 757, Hollywood baby, Improved mashcore, kickback, 3 o'clock things, Being so normal, Uncanny long arms, Leg room, Stuck Inside

below is my current song backslide by 21 Pilots. the tapeworm synth and silly bass drops itch the itch good :+)

[celestialjupe]

Girl blogging: 2/25/23 12:05

Literally processing so hard right now dbdbif. i just got out of a rather abusive relationship. I knew it was bad but it didnt hit me how extremely foul it was until i started making a list of everything that has happened. I've definitely been in the wrong too, and i regret the kind of person i became in that relationship. I don't regret it because i feel bad for him, i regret it because i know that's not who i am and i sacrificed a large portion of my sense of self because i didn't want to hurt him. That was so stupid, but honestly, no one is above being in a situation like that, especially when they're young and when it was their first relationship. so, im trying not to be too hard on myself about it, because being hard on myself drove me further into that relationship every single time.

The last year was different than the first three. He did a 180, he started treating me much better, but i couldn't erase the past and i couldn't let go of it and stay with him at the same time. I couldn't erase his actions and i couldn't erase mine either. Also, it's kind of fucked up because he could have been treating me well the whole time. But really, he never changed, he just got more strategic and better at disguising the behavior. I was still considering getting back together with him until two days ago. It's been two weeks since i broke up with him. That list really impacted me because to see how many terrible things he had done, how close together, and how careless he was..wow wakeup call. I don't feel bad anymore, if you have to hurt someone to get them to stop hurting you, so be it. Again, i was also wrong in the relationship, mainly in year three. We were like rabid dogs constantly barking at each other and flashing teeth. Looking back, i think i was valid to fight back, i think it makes sense that i opened up to the people around me. I just wish i would've listened then. I'm grateful for the two girls who sat with me and listened to me. Life is strange. but im happy that part of my life is finally over, and i can move on. I already feel better and look better and overall i am better. Things are clearer. I think i deserve that. I tried my hardest. Especially this last year, so many times i sat awake at night, promising myself I'd try harder to be happy, telling myself it was enough and i just didn't want to accept love. Now i know that we were never in love, and i wasn't wrong to be so confused and agitated.

I don't think there was ever a moment where he truly considered me, but i was selfish for not wanting to live my life like that. What surprised me the most was everyone who was happy to hear the news. I thought everyone loved him, i thought no matter what, they didn't know what was happening behind closed doors and he was charming, so of course they love him. Little did i know, everyone saw through the act. I only ever told two people about what was happening, and i didn't even tell them the full situation. No one else knew because it's honestly so embarrassing, and i wasn't ready to be better. even now im scared, im scared to delete him from my socials, im scared that he wont be able to leave it alone, im scared that he wont take no for an answer and ill have to pay for this. I can't let that fear control me. I have to be ready to face it all, and dive into the void even if im not certain of the outcome. So much time, opportunity, self-respect has passed me by and I've just let it. I can't do that anymore. I deserve to show up for myself, even when its hard. breakups are hard, especially when they're easy.

Through all that fear, there is a spark. There's a part of myself that i have ownership of again, a part of myself i haven't seen in so long. There's relief, there's love, there's a feeling of security. There's this newfound sense of certainty that i am here and I will never let this happen again. There's victory. I've overcome obstacles and I've walked through the darkest parts of myself to do that. I took a tour of the worst possible version of myself, i stayed in the dark for so long and I'm finally on the other side of it all. I am happy and proud to be me, feelings i never thought I'd have for myself again. I have forgiveness in my heart now, i have released so much, I'm not angry at anyone anymore. I feel like i can finally be myself and not compromise that.

so yeah, kind of slaying right now.. thank you for taking the time to read if you did. Don't make the same mistake i did, don't wait, leave leave leave LEAVE!! Be safe, stay hydrated, keep your belly full, and do what's best for you.

[dsk0fx]

My thoughts feel very all over the place and our of control right now I have too much in mt.head and it is confusing I feel angry at so many insignificant things. My head is spinning. I've never been this fucking dysphoric before I feel so shit in and about myself I'm an absolute fucking wreck I've put on so much weight I feel so awful about mysekr even though I know I am healthier now I can't look at myself in a mirror inhate my apperance I hate my hair I hate the fact I feel like I don't have a personality or any sense of self I don't know what I like or how I want to look or dress and I hate it my dysphoria is killing me I'm constantly paranoid about my period starting again I cannot be calm I need to change something about myself binding is killing me it hurts so bad ans icant regulate my temperature and I feel like my T isn't doing jack shit the gender clinic are being fuckin useless I need top surgery ans hysto I feel so out of control of everything I hate it so much I need my chest to be flat I need to pass I need my hair to be good I need to be clean I need to be clean I am not clean I need to be clean I am not taking care of myself at all ans like.i am getting so angry irrationally and protective over how Jakes been treated bad in the past it makes me irate I want to hurt anyone that has ever made him feel any bad feeling I feel so possessive n protective over him lately he is mine and only mine and the fact it's not always been that way is infuriating to me rn. Idk if it's bc he's been sick n I've gone into over protective mode or what but idk. I feel so out of control I duxking hate this I think I need to go back on my meds but I'm not sure. I don't even know who I am anymore any sense of identity is slipping away from me because I try to shove myself into boxes but I don't fit into one certain subculture n it's killing me even tho I know it's literally no big deal but I feel like if I don't I'll get judged and have to be a certain way so I feel like I have no personality of my own and don't know what ahy of my own interests of likes are because I just moulf to people around me and I need to stop smoking but I can't but im almost out of baccy

but it's the only thing making my head shut up and feel calm right now and I literally feel.like I cannot function I am so overwhelmed by everything right now I hate it so much I feel like.im.never seeing Jake right now eieher because he's at work so much and burnt out and I miss him I miss him I don't feel good at all I feel like I am going insane and I want it to stop I've been having really bad sh urges and I've been able to not so far but I'm scared but I've been drinking again and I'm trying to stop because I don't want to get dependent on drigs or alcohol again but addiction is wireed into me because of how severe my fucking ADHD is I can't help it and I need to not but my gp won't give me any of my meds and adult services arnwt willing to help or do shit until I'm 25 bx of my auriam and I dont know what's going on with the gender clinic or Mt t ans I'm so stressed everything feels too much right now my head won't stop it won't be quiet I hate it I cand motivate myself to do anything I'm a failure and a let down and not good at anything and don't even know why I am still here I cabr work im so mentally fucked in the head I can't even get a job I am useless and worthless and my.life feels hoplwss like I'm never going to do ajytbing with it I hate my head I hate my brain I hate myself I have every single little thing about myself I do not feel like a person I feel so far dissociated and depersonalized and derealizeed I feel like a feral animal trapped in a cage scratching and clawinh trying to escape until my skin is raw and I am bleeding I want to rip mt.skin off I donf feel human I am not okay please somebody bwlp me I don't want to wakw Jake up I don't feel okay I don't feel okay I don't feel okay I hate this I just want it to stop I just want to feel okay I want to feel like an actual human being and not an angry terrified animal

[solargardensystem]

My specific brand of PTSD, with all of the weird complexities, boils down to never having control until I left home at 19.

I couldn’t control what I thought

My parents thought for me all 19 years

I couldn’t control what I wore

My parents chose my clothes for me for 19 years

I couldn’t control what I learned

My parents chose that for me for 19 years

I couldn’t control what I watched

That was HEAVILY restricted for 19 years

I couldn’t control what I believed

I was told what to believe and expected to for 19 years

I couldn’t control what I practiced

Spiritual practices were decided for me, even if I didn’t agree

I couldn’t control who my friends were

They were often chosen for me OR I wasn’t allowed to hang out with them if they were the opposite gender

I couldn’t control my own room

Every wall hanging, art project, rearrangement was supposed to be pre-approved

I couldn’t control the music I listened to

It was supposed to be 90% Christian

I couldn’t control my finances

They were monitored and connected to my parents accounts

I couldn’t control my vehicle

It was in my parents names

I couldn’t control what I ate

Which led me down a path of anorexia and ARFID

I couldn’t control when other people could touch me

Which led to a lot of uncomfortable instances of forced hugs, assault, and people thinking they have the right to pray over me without consent

I couldn’t control what spy software was installed on my devices

Which made me feel completely unsafe venting to anyone about my issues

I bring this up because I just realized THREE YEARS LATER what I’ve done to work through this. I take back control. Here’s what I’ve done.

Ten signs of childhood trauma:

1. Codependency

To fix, my finances are now MINE. My living situation relies on me and there’s always a plan B. I never let a single thing happen where I don’t at least have 2 backup plans that rely on ONLY me.

2. Need for Validation

Still working on this. I don’t really see it as a bad thing. I need validation but not for every single thing and it’s more of a “am I on the right track” question. I just like to feel appreciated and I don’t need it after every single task.

3. Fear of Abandonment/Rejection

Solved this by cutting everyone I knew out of my life. I was the one abandoning for once, and it very quickly erased my fear of losing certain people. This is a blessing and a curse.

4. Poor/No Boundaries

My boundaries are HARD and FAST now. You cross a boundary one too many times or cross a bad enough boundary and you’re out. Bye bye mf.

5. People Pleasing

Im working on learning the difference between being nice but able to say no and being people pleasing. I love to help and I can still people please when the person is important to me, but I try not to just make everyone happy. Because you can’t. I’ve learned very quickly how to use the word no and let me tell youuuuuuu

6. Needing to Fix Others

I very quickly learned that if I want to fix others I have to fix myself first. And then I got so tired of fixing myself that I realized how much work it was to try fixing others. That killed that quick.

7. Needing to Prove Oneself

Still do this, I haven’t even begun working on this lmao.

8. High Tolerance of Abusive and Toxic Traits

I basically told myself if I was so tired of those things I had to leave home, move across the country, and cut everyone off, I probably shouldn’t just let other people treat me that way again.

9. Hypervigilence

Still working on this. It helps to be very far away from anyone you’d need to look out for.

10. Constantly Attract Narcissistic Friends

I don’t feel like I attract many narcissistic friends, but the ones I attracted/attract get shut down very quickly. Recognize their problematic behaviour early and if they don’t stop, leave them in the dust. Not worth it.

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 3

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: 

--

Bucky tried for several hours to try and get you to open the door. You ignored him, not wanting to see him because you were so angry with him. He promised he would change and make more time for you, and then he leaves you in the middle of sex for her! Dot is his priority, as far as you’re concerned. You roll your eyes as you think about the “trauma” she had. You know she is using their past to manipulate him, and he is being stupid and letting her. Well now he must face the consequences for his actions. 

You stare up at the ceiling of your old room as you again, for the millionth time, hear the knock and pleads of your boyfriend from the other side of the door. “Please, baby. Open up. I’ll let you scream at me, you can even hit me. I know I deserve it. Just let me see you, please,” he begs.

God this is getting pathetic, you thought. You sigh and figure it’s time to give him an earful and some food for thought. You walk over to the door and unlock it, before opening it to reveal Bucky looking disheveled. He still has no shirt on, just his sweats from last night.

“What could you possibly want me to say to you, Bucky? You obviously made your choice in this. You are allowing Dot to manipulate you to keep you away from me. She wants you back, and it’s completely obvious. You say you want to prioritize me, but you prioritized her! I’ve tried to be calm and understanding to what she is going though, but enough is enough!” you yell, causing Bucky to flinch.

He opens his mouth to speak but you continue, “Ever since she found out that we are dating, she has made it her sole mission to separate us. Do you even care that your actions are killing me? Do you even care that I have cried myself to sleep so many times at night that I forgot how to fall asleep without crying? Do you even care that you are shattering my heart with your actions?!” you yell as tears fall down your face.

Bucky now has tears falling as well as he takes in your words. He didn’t realize just how bad he had made the situation. He needed to fix this. He couldn’t lose you. You were the best thing that has ever happened to him, and he can’t believe that has been so stupid. He walks up and wraps his arms around you, allowing you to cry in his chest. He buries his face in your neck and cries also.

You don’t know how long you have been standing in your doorway crying, but after some time you pull away. Bucky looks at you with sad eyes, “Tell me it’s not too late for me to fix this. I-I don’t want to lose you,” he says in a raspy voice.

You sigh and look down, “I think I need some time to think about things. You need to figure out where your priorities lie. I’ll stay in here for a bit until I’m ready and then we can talk, okay?” you ask.

It breaks your heart to see the distraught nature of Bucky’s face at your words, but you need him to understand how his actions have made you feel. He nods and quickly pulls you into a hug and then slots his lips on yours in a heated kiss. When you pull away he looks you dead in the eyes, “I’m going to make this right. I am going to show you that you, and you alone are what I want and need. That you are my top priority. I promise,” he says.

As he turns and walks away, you can’t help but say, “Don’t make promises you might not be able to keep.”

Bucky stops and looks at you sadly. He really messed up. He finally turns away and walks back to your shared room, that he will now live in alone. When he closes the door he slides down to the ground and openly sobs. How could he be so stupid. How could he not see what was happening. Now he might lose the love of his life because of his past. 

--

Dot is sitting in her room, feeling rather victorious. She overheard your argument with Bucky, and knows that now that you are separating yourself from Bucky, she will have a better chance to win him back. She sighs at the thought of having her love back with her. She was surprised that he didn’t take her back immediately, as she was his first love. Yes, ok so it was like 80 years ago, but I mean the fact that they were both together after all this time, must be fate.

Suddenly her door opens and shows the man she has been thinking about. Dot looks up and smiles, “Hey Jamie! What’s wrong?” she asks, deciding to pretend she is innocent and knows nothing. Always worked with guys. So easy.

“We need to talk, now,” Bucky says, anger evident in his voice. 

Dot’s smile disappears. She figured he would be upset, but not angry, and not at her. “What’s going on?” she asks with a furrow of her brow.

“This is over, Dot. Whatever you are trying to do, it’s done. I know you are dealing with a lot, but you need to start figuring it out for yourself. I am done putting you before Y/N,” he says.

Dot can’t help but roll your eyes. “Oh is she upset with you again Jamie? I mean I understand being slightly threatened by our past, but she obviously doesn’t trust you. If she can’t trust you, then she isn’t good enough for you. Maybe it’s time for you to cut your loses and return to me,” Dot said.

“She has every reason to be upset! I’ve neglected her! I just want to know... are those panic attacks that you have even real,” he asks.

Dot feigns being offended, “How dare you! Of course they are! Look at all I have gone through! I volunteer for something back in the 40′s and wake up in 2020′s. There is a lot of thoughts and feelings I feel and I don’t know how to process them! Is she saying I am lying?”

“I am saying you are lying. You always seem fine when we are together, but the moment I go to my girlfriend you start freaking out. You are trying to keep me away from her,” Bucky says, his voice raising.

“I feel comfortable with you, Jamie! I love you! Of course I feel better when you are near! It’s not my fault you tried to move on! But tell me this, if you don’t love me like you did, and you love her, why then did you constantly leave your girl for me? You obviously are still in love with me! So dump the girl and let’s be together!” Dot yelled.

“You’re crazy! Seriously you are delusional! You use me being a good friend and a gentleman against me to separate me from the woman that I truly love. Well it stops now! You need to get your ass in gear because it will take me nothing to turn you out of the compound to fend for yourself. If Steve and I can make it work, so can you. And your trauma is nothing compared to what we have gone through. So get yourself together and figure your life out. I am done playing these games with you!” Bucky says before leaving Dot’s room.

Dot sat there stunned at the last outburst. If Bucky thinks that she will go down without a fight to the death for him, then he doesn’t know her at all. Dot always gets what Dot wants. No matter the cost.

--

Bucky knocked on Natasha’s door, trying to calm himself down from his conversation with Dot. Nat opened the door and immediately tried to close it, “Nat please! I need your help,” Bucky begged.

She rolled her eyes and allowed him in. He sat there and told her everything about what happened last night, and this morning with Y/N and Dot. Natasha smacked him upside the head at least 4 times for being dumb. When he was done explaining everything he looked sadly at Natasha, “So will you help me? I have a plan that will allow Y/N the time she asked to think, while also showing her that she is my priority. She is the love of my life. Please?” Bucky begged.

Nat knew how much you and Bucky loved each other. She knew how happy you both were, so she agreed to help. Bucky laid out the plan to Nat and they both agreed to set it in motion. Bucky felt better already. He told off Dot, got your best friend to help him, and now all he needed was to win you back. He hoped he wasn’t too late.

--

Chapter 2 / Chapter 4

Dot is trouble! What plans does he have up her sleeve? Will the reader forgive Bucky? Does he deserve it? 🤷🏻‍♀️Feedback is appreciated!

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[greenmonstercollarbones]

I live for this stupid trope of Fight Between Friends Leads To Heated Make-out (because they’ve been dancing around their feelings for each other. Can we get that for each of the bayverse guys?

Leo

"Can't you take things seriously for two seconds y/n?" Leo yelled at you as you both entered the lair together.

"I'm sorry I can't be a prude 24/7 like you can." You respond heated. You had just gotten a little too playful while on patrol. It was all in good fun and usually he would joke around back at least a little. You didn't get what the big deal was this time.

"Don't even result to low insults. I shouldn't even have brought you, but wrong of me to think you could handle something as easy as patrol! That foot soldier could've gone home with your head!" Okay, maybe there was a reason he was a little more heated then usual. But it's not like you got hurt.

"It doesn't matter now. I'm fine. Just drop it." You turn around to find him inches away.

"You might not have been. If I wasn't watching you would've been dead. You need to get your head out of the clouds and pay attention to your surroundings!" He's towering above you now, looking you in the eyes as he rants. You try to back away but he just matches your movements.

"Oh my god, I'm not one of your brothers! I don't need a lecture! I wouldn't have even been in a situation where foot soldiers would be after me unless you were there, so why do I need to defend myself!" You continue backing up until your back hits the table.

"Are you saying we shouldn't be friends? Because maybe you're right! I am just a mutant freak right? Just a bore, a prude, a monster? What do you gain from being friends with me?" He spat. He retreated a little, hearing the hurt in his voice. You definitely stuck a cord.

"No, no Leo. I didn't mean it like that. I-" You sigh placing your hand on his jaw, "You're my favorite person on the planet, my best friend. I couldn't imagine a world without you dumbass. Don't be a cunt and take my words out of context because I didn't mean that."

From the look on his face you assumed he'd retort with an insult or another pity party but instead he grabbed your face in both hands. He looked you in the eyes before smashing his lips into yours. You were caught off guard at first but quickly grabbed his face and kissed him back.

He lifted you onto to table as he kept his lips interlocked with yours. Slowly you started laying yourself vertically. He noticed things were started to get heated and seperated himself from you.

"Do you . . uhhh. Would you like to take this into my room?"

Raph

[sorry this is me projecting a lil bit]

It wasn't supposed to turn into an argument. It wasn't supposed to turn into the "trauma olympics". You guys were just trying to relate to each other and talk about your problems like usual.

"Yer so selfish for sayin that ya know? You get to be up there, see people, do things, not having to worry about people seeing you and turning away screaming. Ya know what it feels like for people to see you and be terrified." Raph yelled at you from his bench. You started walking towards him as you defended yourself.

"I'm not saying that isn't hard. I could never fully understand how you feel. I'm just saying you have no idea what it's like up there. People are shitty. You have no idea what it's like not being a cis white straight man up there. I'd rather get to be in hiding with a wonderful family like you!" You got closer to him, like the closer you got the more he would comprehend your thought process.

"Ya I know people are shitty. I get to see it from the outside perspective! I've seen it all! I don't get to save everyone but Im expected to! That's so much weight on your shoulders, crime is happening everywhere and sometimes I can't even do the one thing I'm good for!" At this point he's just ranting angrily and you were going to do the same. Now your standing above him, just looking down at him barely.

"When you see it from the outside you don't feel the full affects. You can't throw a pity party about bad things happening to people because you think it's your 'duty' to save them. What if they have a family? What if they don't. This world is so shitty to be in when you have no one." You're on the verge of tears now, but it looks like he has been for awhile, "I have no one in New York. I miss my family. I miss having a troop of friends to help defend me from bullies or creeps."

He reaches up to you and pulls you into his lap.

"Hey bitch what about me." His voice sounds angry but his eyes look sorrowful. He brushes the hair out of your face, "You have me. I'll beat the shit outta anyone who tries to mess with you."

You don't even bother answering, instead you force you lips into his. He was being kinda romantic but he didn't expect this. Being too scared to seem shy about it, Raph grabs you and lays you on the bench, hovering himself over you. You push him back a little and look at him.

"So are we gonna do it on this bench or should we go to your bed." You giggled.

Donnie

"So sometimes all I am is your smart friend and sometimes I'm not smart enough? Is that it?" Donnie asked you as you turned away from him in the chair designated for you in his lab.

"No that's not why I didn't ask you to look at it. There was shit on that computer I didn't want you seeing." You responded.

"What like porn? Y/n we talk about porn all the time I don't care. And I already know all your personal information, we're best friends and you don't trust me enough?" You can't see him but it sounds like he's about to cry.

"It's just a dumb computer. So I got a dumb computer guy to fix it. It's not a big deal."

"Why are you avoiding my questions? What are you hiding? You're acting weird." He turned you in your chair. You had your knees in your chest and your face in your knees hiding yourself from him.

"I didn't want to bother you. I want to be the one person who doesn't have you constantly fix their problems." You said from under your arms.

"Y/n, you're the one person who's problems I'll always have time for." He uncrossed your arms and picked your face up out of it's hiding place, "Why are you so concerned about me finding your problems inconvenient?"

"Im- I'm not I guess. I just didn't want to bother you." You tried to avoid his gaze but he was looking you in the eyes and held your face towards his, "I know I could've gone to you, you just deserved a break from me. From everything to be honest."

"I never, ever want a break from you." Donnie tightens his grip on you as he speaks and his voice is shaking.

"Wha-?" Before you have time to respond he has his lips on yours. You kiss him back before he pulls away.

"I'm sorry I should've asked. Was that okay?" Donnie questioned as he moved his hands down to your shoulders. You look at him confused and a little angry that he pulled away. After moment of no one saying anything you pulled him in for another kiss. His lips moved at the same pace as yours as he kept moving his hands lower and lower until they were at your hips.

"Dude are you and y/n still mad at each other?" Mikey says busting into the lab, "Ohhhh obviously not. Okay I'll leave you two be, use protection!"

Mikey

Usually Mikey doesn't get mad, but this time he seemed really upset. He's looking at you with so much rage you're almost scared he might set on fire. What was extremely unsettling is that it was your dazzling, joyful best friend looking at you like this. But he deserved the little rant you gave him. Most of it wasn't directed towards him, it was about his brothers. They had all sent you past your breaking point.

"So you hate all of us." He said angrily, "Donnie is a know-it-all? Leo thinks he's the boss of you when he's not? I'm too clingy? And you just straight up hate Raph? No explanation you just hate him?"

"No, no. That's not what I meant I'm just in a bad mood, I've had a bad day." You try to calm him down.

"No that's what you said. You said and I quote, 'And don't get me started on Raph I fucking hate him.'" Mikey is starting to move away from where you're sitting on his bed, "If you hate us don't come here. Don't sit here and insult us!" He was starting to sound more sad than angry now.

"Look what I said about Donnie, Leo, and you were just grievances. I- it just all built up and I needed to let it out but I didn't mean them."

"I could understand that. But what about Raph? Why do you hate him?"

"Hate was a strong word to use. I don't hate him I just hate the way he acts. I hate the way he treats you sometimes." Since he's seemed to calm down you start shuffling towards him and put your hand on his shoulder.

"What's wrong with the way he treats me?" Mikey looked down at you.

"Well I just don't like the way he yells at you or insults you. And sometimes he'll hit you for no reason. I know you can take it and all but I still worry. I want you to be happy and I don't know, I worry about you."

"Thanks for thinking about me." Mikey hunched over so you were face level, "I worry about you too ya know."

"You do?"

"Of course Angelcakes." He hadn't called you that nickname since you first met, as soon as you became friends he started treating you like a bro. He bent over to you and gave you a quick peck. After he pulled away no one said anything so you pulled him back in and kisses him, like really kissed him this time. He kissed you back and before you knew it he had you flipped over on your back. He's hovering over you and you're making out now. He starts kissing your neck before pulling away.

"Raph's gonna get a kick outta this."

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n ranboo, tommy tubbo and jack - just come home

this is an extra part to the great adventures series

summary: part three to the happier imagine (the great adventures of y/n and ranboo) this is where the group reunites

content warning: angst to fluff, small mention of creepy fan,swearing

please read what’s written in bold

this is an “alternative ending” around 16-18 years into the future this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out, i feel the need to confirm this now love between y/n and the others (especially ranboo) in this imagine is completely platonic

so turns out moving house didn’t stop the creepy fan from contacting you neither did blocking every account they made as they began contacting your mods, your business email, they even started spamming ranboos dms, mods and business email and now you had the stress of Tommy trying to contact you. at this point neither you nor ranboo knew what to do, you were both convinced it was a troll trying to scare you both with jokes but the joke wasn’t funny. it never was, to say the least, it was horrifying. you stood with ranboo who was now changing the locks just to keep you safe, it was clear the fan didn’t know your new address as rather than sending you your address (as though you had suddenly forgotten where you lived) like last time it was just random messages trying to psych you both out. your phone buzzed again making ranboo jump you dreaded looking at the notification but you did it anyway

Tommy: y/n I’m serious please can we talk..tubbo and jack aren’t the same without you. I miss you

“anything important y/n?”

“no nothing to worry about”

“you’ve not been acting like yourself since the last stream are you sure you’re okay you know It's not your fault don’t blame yourself for whatever’s upsetting you I’m here for you I love you”

“I know boo I know, i love you too”

later that night you had to quickly end your stream despite to fact you had only been streaming 30 minutes as ranboo was arguing with someone the only reason you knew it was serious was because he was shouting back at the person, you had never heard him so angry and you’ve been friends with him for at least 16 years.

“okay chat that’s gonna be the stream for today…I forgot I have something to do I’m not going to raid anyone on here however tech is live on youtube for the first time in ages so I do recommend you go and check out what he’s doing good morning or good night I’ll see you soon”

as soon as you ended the stream you made your way to the room ranboo was in that's when you overheard tubbo arguing with ranboo

“oh good for you ranboo you're getting everything you want I mean you and y/n moved on easily the two of you bought a new house you both look happy and don't get me started on your career's taking off”

“goodbye tubbo”

ranboo left the call and opened the door

“oh boo”

you instantly pulled him into a hug, it was an extremely stressful time for the pair of you and you understood how painful it is arguing with someone who was once your best friend. every night the memory of Tommy blaming you for things that were out of your control and jack telling you to get out of the car haunted you however nothing compared to the way tubbo looked at you when you finally got home that night. he looked at you as though he never cared about the friendship the pair of you shared. of course, you never told ranboo about it keeping you up at night but he wasn’t stupid he knows you were still hurting even if it had been years since the fallouts happened

“why..why are they trying to get in contact again I was starting to feel like myself again”

“I don’t know…come lie with me on the couch for a while we can talk about anything you want”

the pair of you laid on the couch talking about what was going on and reasons why it was happening. ranboo decided he’d forgive the others if they contact him again however you were not as forgiving as they hurt you and your friend. eventually, his crying came to an end and he fell asleep holding onto you. you were falling asleep yourself until your phone buzzed.

Tommy: look y/n why don’t we all meet again, just come home

y/n: I am home I moved into a lovely house with ranboo and I sold the ‘home’ you’re talking about, now please stop contacting me tom I don’t want in my life anymore not only did you hurt me but you also hurt ranboo

Tommy: fine talk to tubbo

y/n: don’t add him...

*tubbo has been added to the group*

tubbo: hi y/n

y/n: you have 5 minutes to explain why you made ranboo cry.

tubbo: I don’t know what you mean

y/n: do you think you’re funny because oh boy do I have news for you.

Tommy: please just meet us one last time you can even bring ranboo

y/n: I was bringing ranboo anyway

tubbo: can I bring jack

Tommy: yes, see you where we always used to meet

y/n: ight see you Saturday

tubbo: see you Saturday I love you

y/n: please don’t say you love me tubbo. if you did we wouldn’t be in this situation.

you spent the rest of the night messing with ranboos hair you ended up accidentally waking him up however he pretended to be asleep before you could notice he was no longer asleep as he didn’t want this moment to end. however, you did occasionally hear him laugh quietly to himself

“Are you awake or am I hearing things”

he decided there was no point in lying as you were already questioning if he was awake and he was struggling to hold back his laughter so responded by tapping your waist signalling to you he was awake

“great..bad news we have to meet Tommy jack and tubbo on Saturday”

you watched as he quickly opened his eyes looking at you as though you had told him the best news ever

“heh?! actually? are you actually being serious right now”

“Unfortunately I am”

noticing you were unhappy about it he pulled you closer to him and spent the rest of the night explaining why it won’t be as bad as you’re expecting it to be and how it might actually be a good thing after all. a couple of hours later you fell asleep feeling a lot more comfortable with what was happening on Saturday ranboo fell asleep not long after, proud of his achievement. the days flew by, it was finally Saturday and you had mixed feelings about it, on one hand, you were somewhat excited about meeting them but on the other hand, you weren’t sure you were ready for them to enter your life again.

“I'm ill sorry ranboo you’ll have to go on your own”

“wowww real mature making me go all on my own…I thought we were best friends”

“I know you’re joking but I’d feel bad making you go alone give me five minutes and then I’ll be ready to go”

“here”

ranboo decided to throw one of his hoodies at you so you had something to wear that made you feel safe as he understood how overwhelming it’ll be to meet them again, five minutes later you got into the passenger's seat next to ranboo

“not feeling like driving hey”

“I will purposely drive around in circles to avoid meeting them”

“heh…are you okay are you actually okay seeing them, I don’t mind letting you stay home”

“I'm fine boo honestly now let’s go”

once you made it and began walking to meet them ranboo grabbed your hand. the only reason he ended up letting go was to talk to the others since Tommy pulled you into a tight hug not wanting to let you go the moment he saw the pair of you

“y/n I’m so sorry”

“I'm sorry too..”

Tommy spent a good few minutes frantically apologising to you for what happened and how he didn’t mean any of it. he was halfway through his speech about how he’s learned from his mistakes when tubbo spoke up.

“Tommy doesn’t keep y/n to yourself”

“sorry tubso”

you looked at tubbo not knowing what to say, it was evident that the pair of you were still hurt, he reached into his pocket grabbing a rock he found on the beach the other day

“here I found it the other day it reminded me of you”

“thank you I love it”

ranboo stood behind you wrapping an arm around you as he noticed you were starting to get upset. tubbo couldn’t believe how much you and ranboo had changed over the past years and it hurt him how close the pair of you had grown and the promise rings you and ranboo were currently wearing left him questioning whether that could have been him if he didn’t leave you both when it was clear you both needed him. jack spoke up next.

“hey, y/n..”

“nice to see you’re still bald manifold”

“Nice to see you haven’t changed. I’m sorry for what happened it hurt to see you go I was kind of hoping that you'd stay”

“oh jack it’s okay you were just trying to lighten up the situation I'm sorry I was so harsh”

a few months later the five of you were slowly but surely mending your friendship you all knew it would be difficult and take a long time to get back to how it was in the past but it would all be worth it

around a year since you met up again the five of you were closer than ever you were all streaming together again, constantly filming vlogs as a group. safe to say the wait was worth it, however, you and ranboo always wearing the promise rings you got for each still hurt tubbo

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[imaloserbbyxoxo]

Dabi as a dad. That's it. That's the post.

please keep in mind i suck at writing so im sorry if this his terrible i'm just trying to make myself feel better

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It was late at night. Dabi wasn't sure what time it was, but he could only assume it was around two in the morning. He was unbelievably exhausted and worn out. So much work had to be done lately for the league and Shikaraki was running him ragged from all the orders and tasks he was assigned.

So much work had to be done, that he hadn't been able to sleep for the past day and a half. His body was starting to shut down, but he knew he had to keep on until the jobs were completed.

People in the league were the only ones that knew this secret Dabi had. He had a whole other life ever since three years ago. He had become a father. He never knew it would happen, he never even planned it. Honestly? He never really wanted to be a father, but ever since she was born, he was in love. A beautiful baby girl. Who would have ever thought? A son, maybe. But a girl? Whoa. That's a whole knew level.

Dabi and Y/N had been together for 2 years before the birth of their daughter. He really did love Y/N, but for some reason unknown to him, having a little girl made the love go even deeper. He never imagined he could love anyone, much less Y/N. His whole world was steadily changing around him, and he was doing all he could to cope with it.

The one thing hard about everything going on, was he had to be away from home. Away from his girls. Y/N knew he was in the league and everything that was going on in his life. She knew when they got together. She didn't mind it, really. Just as long as Dabi was safe. But she knew he would be. He was a really tough and tedious guy. He was constantly careful, no matter how big or how small the task.

But Dabi couldn't' help but stress about the girls at home by themselves. He had become so protective over them the past few years, and hated that they had to be alone most of the time. Nothing made him more relaxed than hearing their voices and laughs. It melted him, in a good way.

----

After walking down this street Dabi found himself on, he cut down an alley. Once he walked down it a few feet, he leaned his back against the cold, stone wall of a building, and slid down it until he collapsed on the ground. Automatically, his eyes started to feel heavy. He needed to rest so bad. Maybe just a few minutes wouldn't hurt. Leaning his head back against the wall, he slowly started to drift away into sleep.

Time had passed and he hadn't moved. It only felt like a few minutes, but apparently it was about an hour of him napping. He was awoken by a tune on his phone. Normally, he would have ignored it, but this particular tune was set to only Y/N's contact, so he quickly pulled it out of his pocket.

Before answering, he glanced at the time. Four in the morning. What was she doing up? Dabi's heart started to race. He couldn't help but think that something was wrong. He hastily answered.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"...daddy?"

"Yes, baby? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I had a bad dream."

Dabi hadn't noticed, but his muscles were tense. Once he heard the words 'bad dream', he softened. Everything was okay. He knew it was, because even though it's unfortunate, nightmares were almost a daily occurrence with his daughter. From the trauma of his childhood, Dabi had aquired nightmares and night terrors of his own. Unfortunetly, his daughter picked up that trait. On a positive note, he knew how to deal with them more than Y/N did, so whenever this happened, he was the one to go to. Thank goodness the kid hadn't had any actual night terrors. Yet. Just bad dreams.

Rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out of them, he tiredly smiled and spoke. "You had a bad dream, huh?"

"Yeah. It was about you this time."

Dabi's smile faded. Most of the girl's nightmares where just simple things that kids fear, but the ones about him and Y/N were becoming more and more frequent. It was becoming concerning, but he just had to shrug it off. For her. He was still knew to this whole father thing, but one thing he did know was that you shouldn't' show worry in front of a kid, or they will start to worry. So he did just that. He blew off the worry in his mind for now and just had to focus on the kid.

"About me, huh?"

"Yeah! You had died in it."

"Is that why you're calling? Where you scared?"

"A little."

Y/N shouted from the background. "Don't let her lie! She woke up crying."

Dabi scoffed and smiled. "My poor kiddo..." he thought.

"You? Scared? I thought you weren't scared of anything, just like your daddy."

"I wasn't scawed! I am just like you daddy! Big and strong!"

His heart melted in a mix of good and bad feelings. He hoped she would grow up strong willed like him, but...not how he truly was deep down. All the trauma, all the pent up anger, all the troubles he has caused.

"Be strong like me, but kind like your mother."

"Okay daddy. I will!"

"Okay, baby. Can you hand the phone to mommy, please? I love you. Go back to bed and don't be scared. I'll be home soon, okay?"

"Okay daddy! I wub you!"

Dabi smiled. "Love you too, kiddo. Good night."

"Night daddy."

Shuffling noises were heard on the other end of the line. A different voice came on.

"I'm sorry to bother you while your working, babe. She wanted to talk to you and wouldn't take no as an answer."

"It's alright, doll. I wasn't busy right now anyways."

"Are you doing okay? Staying safe?"

"Yes, of course. You know that."

After a few more minutes of talking, Y/N said her goodbyes. She had to put the girl to sleep now and try to get some rest herself. Dabi said his goodbyes in return, saying I love you, and hung up his phone. He stood up from his resting position, and gathered up the strength to continue his work.

"Alright, back at it I suppose."

He lazily walked out of the alley

and back around the corner. He was met by a familiar face.

His boss, Shigaraki. His silver hair was long, down to the base of his neck, and he was wearing his trademark coat. They all had been working so much lately, that they didn't have the time to take care of themselves. Shigaraki specifically. His scratch marks were getting worse from his scratching due to stress. His hair was getting to long, because he didn't have the time to take care of it. Dabi knew better than to say anything though. Shigaraki had been on edge lately, and probably wouldn't hesitate to take care of Dabi's attitude in his own way.

"What are you doing here, dusty?"

Shigaraki scratched his neck a little, looking up at Dabi. "I followed you to make sure you were doing your tasks. You were the last stop before going back to the base. I've already checked on everyone else."

"Save the best for last, huh?"

"Whatever, patchwork. I couldn't help but over hear your conversation."

Dabi looked at him with tired eyes. "Oh yeah?"

"Do you miss them?"

"Well, duh. Of course I do." He changed his tune to a sarcastic one. "But you have to have these missions done, right?" It might have been the exhaustion talking, but damnit Dabi just wanted to go home. He missed his bed. The way the house smelled like candles because Y/N had an obsession with them. The way his little girl would run to him when he would walk in the door. He missed cuddling both of them in bed, as his daughter would drift to sleep watching tv. He missed it so much, he couldn't put it into words. He wanted to go home more than anything right now. But work had to be done.

As Dabi was in thought, his face contorted into distraught and exhaustion, and Shigaraki noticed. Maybe it was something in the weather this early morning, but he actually got a kind bone in his body.

"Go home, Dabi."

Dabi looked at him in shock. "But I'm not done-"

"I'm not gonna tell you again. Go home. I can tell your getting exhausted, and I don't need you passing out on me. I need you at your full potential. So go home and rest. Take as much time as you need." Shigaraki started to walk away. "I know you'll be back when your done resting so I'm not worried."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Again, I am so sorry if this is bad. Also, I'm sorry for that ending. it's kinda shit, but I'm kinda afraid of writing more because I might ruin it. Anyways.... OTL;

@dabiboy @deviousspleen @toyas-wife

<3 IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED JUST LET ME KNOW <3

[dracowars]

can i request an imagine im so sorry if it’s too long for your liking but could it be a pureblood slytherin reader x draco imagine where the reader and draco are dating but after some bad news from home (maybe she doesn’t have the kindest parents like draco) she distances herself from everyone and keeps zoning out and finds herself astronomy tower thinking really dark thoughts but draco has constantly been watching over her and is super worried and maybe they have an argument at the tower and draco gets stupid and says something mean or even is dumb to think to accuse her of cheating at the end in which the reader maybe either slaps him (for dramatic effect) or if that’s too much she just says it’s over between the two and she walks off and draco is shocked and tries to stop the reader but she’s already gone and she doesn’t show up to breakfast or lunch and maybe in their class they learn about the boggart again and since they’re older their fears have changed and maybe the reader isn’t paying attention and she’s brought up to test her boggart and it’s draco saying those same things and maybe her parents come out as well and it’s essentially that draco’s unkind words are her fear because it’s the last straw for her until everything breaks because she was holding onto him and she runs out of class and class is dismissed because no one wants to go after that and the reader skips dinner and can be found in moaning myrtles bathroom having a panic attack and she gets really frustrated and hits the the sink really hard to feel something and you can hear myrtle begging the reader to stop and maybe someone sees her and runs to draco to get help but draco runs to the bathroom she’s not there anymore and he finds her at the astronomy tower feeling numb and he overhears her talking to herself and it ends in fluff because he can’t lose her and he figures out it’s probably her parents pressuring her too much again and he can relate because of his and they get back together and it’s just really fluffy at the end maybe they sneak in the kitchen for a quick minute dinner since the reader didn’t eat and draco has to be really kind to the elves heheh

darkness | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x slytherin!reader

word count: 3,1k

summary: where y/n's parents make her life a living hell and draco doesn't really help

a/n: normally i do not write about things like this but i actually really liked the request so i wrote it anyway. i don't mean to offend anyone with this if i misrepresented something, i did my best to get familiar with the topic <3

warnings: angst, major mental health issues including dark thoughts and self-doubt, hints of su*c*de, mentions of blood, cursing, very sensitive topics in general

universe: harry potter

The cold wind blows through your hair and makes it swirl around the air and into your face, goosebumps spreading all over your body at the sudden coldness. To prevent your hair from flying around, you tame your hair with a hair tie, your gaze fixed straight ahead while your face is illuminated by the setting sun.

You really missed this place during the holidays. The astronomy tower.

Whenever you are stressed from doing a lot of homework or studying in general, this is the place you can hust go to and are somehow always able to relax. The view is breathtaking and you love to watch the sun - or the moon, depening on what time of the day you find yourself up here - shine.

And this special place also gives you the security that you so urgently needed.

The winter holidays were a living hell for you. You have extremely strict parents who see a great importance in your education, but that is basically the only thing that interests them about you. That you bring honor to your pureblood family. That they can proudly show you off to other pureblood families even though they know nothing about you and who you really are.

Until recently they did not even know that you are in a relationship. Unfortunately, one thing led to another and they found it out by an unlucky coincidence which consisted of them picking you up at platform 9¾ for the very first time since you have been at Hogwarts. There they saw you with a platinum haired boy, kissing.

This boy turned out to be Draco Malfoy, the son of the pureblood Malfoy family, who you parents cannot stand at all. To put it in other words, they loathe each other to death and that for probably no reason, at least you have not been able to figure it out yet.

So of course they were not very thrilled that you are in a relationship with a Malfoy, which they showed you straight away. They locked you inside of your room at home because you had to 'think about your actions and their consequences'.

However, when they realized that their behavior would not change anything, they began to put you down. They threw the worst swear words at you, wanted to force you to break up with him and told you what a terrible shame you are for your family. That Draco could never love you and that you are ugly, cheap and overall useless. That is how it went on for your whole vacation.

Your parents always treated you this way, it was not new to you. Nevertheless it hurts every time, even if you try to hide it. You would rather keep all the pain inside of you than to tell others about it, because they are not able to help you anyway. Unfortunately, you did the math without your boyfriend.

This morning at the Central Station of London, Draco immediately saw that you were not feeling well. Any attempts to get you to tell him what is going on with you had been useless though so he left you alone at some point, but you still noticed how he kept staring at you for the whole train ride to Hogwarts.

You would love to tell him, tell him about everything, but something inside of you is stopping you from doing so. An invisible barrier inside of your head, probably fear, that you simply cannot overcome. You know that Draco's parents are pretty similar to yours, but still you just cannot manage to talk to him and you notice how it slowly but surely destroys your deep bond with one another.

Continuing to look into the distance and watch the clouds encircle the beautiful setting sun, which colors the sky in reddish colors, your thoughts suddenly wander to gloomy places. Dark places where you usually only go to when you are locked inside of your own room at home.

But now they are even attacking you at your safest place.

You perfectly know yourself that you are not good enough for Draco. You do not deserve this incredibly great person as your boyfriend. You do not even deserve him as a best friend, no, you do not deserve him at all. You are worthless and for him you are nothing more than one girl out of many.

And still you keep on being selfish and do not end it.

Completely lost in your own dark thoughts, you do not even notice at first how the tears are already streaming down your cheeks like waterfalls. Sniffling, you rub your eyes, smeer your discreetly applied mascara, and wipe the tears from your face.

"Why am I still doing this to myself?", you sob and lower your head, looking deep down at the grounds of Hogwarts. The tears that are enriched with pain flow out of your eyes and fall into the dark depths, causing you to slowly close your eyes.

The sudden mention of your name from behind you makes you abruptly breathe out in shock and your head jumps up as you turn around. Your eyes lock with the gray, sparkling eyes of your boyfriend, who is currently looking at you with pity.

"W-What are you doing here, Draco?", you sniff and wrap your arms around your body in an attempt to hide from him so he does not have to look at you.

"Why are you crying?", he asks, ignoring your question, and before you can realize, he is already standing right in front of you and gently places his hands on your tear stained, puffy cheeks. Gently wiping away your tears with his thumb, he searches your eyes for answers that can explain your current terrible condition. He cannot bear to see you like this, so fragile and deeply hurt.

Whatever happened, he will make sure you know that he is and always will be here for you. And he will not let, whatever it is, continue to hurt you so badly.

"If you do not tell me, then I cannot help you", he softly whispers and brushes the strands of hair behind your ear that have escaped from your ponytail in the wind and then carefully lifts your head so you have to look him in the eyes.

"It's nothing", are the only words you get out, your throat thightening, but all you would like to do is to just finally tell him about everything.

"Do you even realize how worried I am about you, Y/N?! It is killing me!", Draco suddenly raises his voice at you, causing you to flinch and take a step back, your back now touching the railing. Noticing the power of his words, he sighs and looks to the ground in shame.

Your head processes his facial expression and his gestures and again makes you believe that his sadness is your fault. By not being able to control your stupid feelings, you hurt him.

"I-I really have to go", you stutter out and quickly run past him, pressing your coat around your body.

"Have fun with Blaise then", you hear him say and you abruptly stop in your motion. Not fully understanding the words he just said, you turn to him.

"What?", you ask with not more than a breath coming out, hurt evident in your expression as he suddenly stomps in your direction furiously, a disgusted look on his face while he looks into your eyes.

"Don't act stupid now, Y/N! You hardly speak a word to me anymore, you avoid body contact, you are totally dismissive in general and you can't even look at me anymore! Why do you not just admit that you are cheating on me?!", Draco accuses you out of nowhere, not knowing what he is even saying himself, and you could swear that at this very moment your heart has finally burst into a thousand splinters and your last hold has now completely disappeared.

Losing the control over your body for a second, your hand lands on his cheek with full force. There is a dead silence before you just turn and leave, leaving him behind on the astronomy tower. You can hear him say your name after you, but you block it out and run down the stairs, crying, your vision blurred.

Missing one of the last stairs in your hurry, you fall down onto the cold floor. You get up again as quickly as possible when you hear steps behind you and you run. You run for your life while you disappear into the endless corridors of Hogwarts, making your way to your dorm.

The next morning your eyelids stick together from all the crying and you have a aching headache. You did not close one eye that night and just laid there crying in your bed silently until at some point there were no more tears.

In front of the door of your prefect dorm room, you can hear how the other students are leaving your house on their way to breakfast, but your stomach makes a flip when you only think about food. That is the reason why you decide to stay in your warm, safe and comfortable bed a little longer and to skip breakfast, which is unnecessary anyway. Avoiding other people seems like the best idea for you right now.

Just in time for the beginning of your first lesson of the long day, you made it out of your bed and are now sitting in Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Snape.

Your thoughts are whirling around in your head and you do not understand a single word Snape is saying in front of the class, even if you are really trying your best to understand him. Furthermore does it not help your concentration that you see how Draco keeps staring at you from across the room out of the corner of your eye. However, you do not have enough strength for this anymore after a while and therefore focus your gaze out the window at the rising sun.

At least you are distracted until all of the students get up from their seats all of a sudden and you only watch them confused until you notice that they are only waiting for you to join them and you quickly walk, almost stumbling, to them. Ignoring the looks and laughter of everyone, you play around with the hem of your grey Slytherin sweater and ignore them while doing so.

"Well then, let us begin. Ms. Y/L/N, would you please do us the honor and start", Snape clears his throat as you look at him in shock, noticing by the expression on his face that he definetely knows that you did not listen to him at all and have not been present with your mind.

Since you do not have a chance to defy yourself anyway, you nod and go to the position he points at in front of an old, dusty closet. With confusion all over your face, you switch between looking at Professor Snape and the cabinet as he suddenly opens the door and you take a big step back, startled to death.

"Have fun with Blaise then", Draco spits in your face disparagingly and is now slowly walking towards you after stepping out of the cupboard, increasing your pulse. The tears find their way back into your eyes right away while you just keep looking at him petrified, frozen in your spot.

"Why do you not just admit that you are cheating on me?!", he yells at you again and your vision becomes more and more blurred, your ears start to beep while he shouts at you, bringing back the painful memories of yesterday.

"No! Please don't leave me, Draco!"

It is like you are back on the astronomy tower again, your hair blowing in the wind as he steps towards you. In the next moment he is gone all of a sudden and instead of him, two other people are now in front of you.

"You are a shame for our whole family, you stupid brat", your father insults you and you fall onto your knees, holding your hands against your head in pain.

"Stop it! Please!", you beg them, but of course they do not stop, they only make their words worse.

"Draco can never seriously love someone like you. I mean, look at you! You are less worthy than dirt", your father tells you and your entire body is now trembling when you finally see a black cloak in front of your eyes and your parents vanish into thin air.

"Please stay with me", you choke through your tears, words addressed to Draco who had to watch the scene in front of him with pure horror in his eyes.

Breathing heavily, you look up at Professor Snape, who looks at you in disbelief, but as your eyes wander around the room to see everyone staring at you, your legs automatically carry you out of the classroom in the next moment, unable to bear their burning glances.

You run down the empty corridor with a faint vision in search of a safe place to hide until you arrive at one of the girls' bathrooms and rush in, not thinking about someone possibly being in there.

Slamming the door shut behind you, you stumble to the sinks with trembling knees and support all of your weight with your hands on either side of one sink as your legs fail beneath you. Clinging to the edge of the sink, you cry bitterly. The cold walls of the bathroom echo your crying several times, allowing you to hear your own pain.

"What is wrong, Y/N?", you hear a soft voice next to your ear and when you look up it is none other than Myrtle. Apparently of all places you ended up in her bathroom and are not as alone as you wished for.

"I am fine", you say with a monotonous voice, forcing yourself into an upright position, but literally everyone would see that you are definetely not fine, even a ghost.

"Y/N. You look anything but okay. Can I somehow help you-"

"Just leave me alone!", you angrily yell at her and lose control of your body, only seeing a thick, red substance running over your hand when it is already too late. Broken pieces of glass lie around you on the floor, which flew through the air when your fist hit them and inflicted small wounds on your face.

"You need to stop, Y/N!", Myrtle commands, but you do not listen and let yourself fall onto the floor, kicking your foot against the sink and thereby unintentionally loosen one of the old pipes. The sound of flowing water fills the room, surrounding your body on the floor.

On the edge of passing out, you lie in the cold water and stare at the ceiling while Myrtle has disappeared without a trace.

What you do not know, however, is that Myrtle is already on her way to find help and comes across Draco, who is running back and forth through the hallways while searching for you.

It takes Draco a moment to understand Myrtle's fast explanation, but when he does he runs into the direction of the girls' bathroom without hesitation. He rushes through the door into the flooded bathroom and all he sees is the broken mirror and the slightly reddish puddles in the water.

But he does not find you in there and realizes that there can only be one place where you could be.

Walking through the corridors of Hogwarts at lightning speed, he finally reaches the staircase leading to the astronomy tower and goes them up in no time. Once he arrives at the top, he abruptly stops when you come into his field of vision.

There you are, completely broken, leaning your head against the railing, your knees closely drawn to your body while your painful crys echo through his ears.

"Why did you not listen to your parents, you disgusting piece of daughter", you talk to yourself, not noticing that you are not alone any longer. With your already injured hand you hit the pole of the railing once, immediately regretting it as the pain spreads through your body.

However, your gaze lands on a person standing directly ahead and your eyes widen, but unfortunately you lack the strength to stand up, to yell at him, or to resist as he slowly sits down next to you.

Neither of you say a word, but it does not take long before he gently takes you into his strong arms, providing you with the support you needed so badly, so you can cry while he strokes over your hair. He whispers repentances in your ear over and over again. That he regrets his words, that he takes them back and that he was such an idiot.

"You are so wonderful", he confirms and gives you a kiss on the forhead, careful not to scare you away, continuing to stroke your upper arm with his hand.

"Do not believe in what your parents told you, angel. I will stay with you", he shakily breathes and has to pull himself together to not let a tear slip out of his eyes at any moment. "I am sorry that I let you down."

His last few words pull a trigger inside of your head and suddenly everything pours out of your mouth at once. Your fears, your worries. Everything your parents ever said or did to you. You finally tell him about all of it now, even though you should have done it much earlier.

"I love you more than anything, Y/N. You are my world and the reason I live. Never let anyone make you think that I do not love or deserve you, especially not your parents", Draco explains to you sincerely as you stare at him, exhausted but happy.

You slowly put your head on his shoulder and close your eyes, letting the good and bright drown out all of your dark and bad thoughts. Meanwhile, Draco carefully examines your injured hand before scooping you up into his arms while standing up.

"No matter how much you hate me right now, you have to eat something", he tells you, but you do not answer and just enjoy his close presence while you wrap your arms tightly around his neck, letting him carry you away.

If he had known how terrible you were feeling earlier, he would have done something much sooner. He should have been more pushy and not let you get away with a simple 'i am fine'. But now that he knows, he definetely learned from it.

And Draco would have never forgiven himself if he had let you just go like that.

[vinnival]

I was wondering if you can do a Madness Combat match up <3

Im 5'9 and im Bisexual, I have short hair, I also forgot to mention im a female, but my hair is buzzed on the sides and a undercut, I have chocolate brown hair and ye. I am a bit chunky, i have a tummy but i try to hide it. I have glasses as well and im a bit tan. Im outgoing and a bit shy, im nervious or out going when I meet new people. I love sharing about my drawings and ocs. Im passionate about my art and how I draw. I love singing but only by myself I get self conscious about my voice and such. I enjoy hanging with friends and making dumb puns. I get sad though ablittle too fast and my anxiety kicks in. I have short attention spam and I get scared about it and people getting annoyed of me for it.

Op I can tell you're such a cutie just by reading this 💜💜😩 enjoy!

You got a match! You're matched with....

Agent Torture!

<3

Art by @//6chocolatepie9 !!

You were so scared of him at first

Tbh anyone would be

But you realized that everyone else was scared too and felt bad for the poor guy

What if he really needed a friend? What if he couldn't have anyone to talk to bc he's so scary :(

To avoid being sad, you did tiny little things and left them around for him to cheer him up.

"Tiny little things" being drawings! You drew many things, and decided to leave some works for him- and ofc you drew the man himself.

(As you would see later in his quarters, he cherishes every piece of art you have and proudly has them very roughly hung up on his walls)

He caught you one day, setting out a new piece for him

You just saw- but mostly FELT- his large shadow just hover over you !

You freaked out, hearing his grumbles behind you, and slowly turned around

He was just staring at you.

You could feel his eyes scanning your body, and then he seemed to look past your small frame to see another picture- and he recognized your art style :))

He reached out a hand and pat your head lightly, while you were internally screaming (which emotion? You decide!)

After that, you two would just walk around AAHW when Torture wasn't busy

He brought you to his room one day, and he showed you his wall with pride, and hoo boy if there was a thermometer in your mouth it would've said you were MELTING

He pointed to some people he didn't recognize- your OCs! You happily told him about them

He loves picking you up and he LOVES how soft you are

You love to torture (hohohoho) him with your puns

"I'm perfectly sized for you to hold! How HANDY, huh?"

You saw visible apprehension at that horrible pun you made, but you knew he tolerated it

You constantly switch from topic to topic when talking and he gets confused sometimes but he's got the spirit <3

I headcanon that he can feel emotion, so when you're anxious or nervous?

He'll be all over you to protect you from whatever's going on

An attack from Hank? You bet he's carrying you to a safe room until he's done

Even though that scares the shit out of you, him constantly risking himself for you

You sometimes forget you won his trust by making drawings and giving it to him, maybe he appreciates gifts?

You made him a little doll of himself one day and you swear you saw some tears come from under his dark shades

He almost crushed you in a hug, you made a sound when he began squeezing too hard though and he let up on the pressure

Later that night, you were doing a little sleepover with him when you woke up to him growling

He seemed to be having a bad dream :((

Hesitantly, you gently laid your hand over his massive one and began humming a soft tune, soon adding lyrics here and there.

To your surprise, he actually calmed down after that

You worry for him and his sleep schedule a lot more after that night

When you came back from a quick walk outside one day, you find a piece of paper that slid under your door to your room

It was a (kind of poorly drawn but still ADORABLE) heart, and down in the corner, a "T" resides

You hurry over to Torture's room and find him in there, holding a flower. He was waiting for you awwe

He offered you the flower and you took it with a bright smile, "you like me don't you?"

He picked you up as if you were a fragile vase and gently placed a kiss on your head in response to the question.

Auditor was so confused on how you won over a goddamn killing machine...

I hope you liked it bae!! Writing fluff for big scary ooga booga people make me so happy 💜🥰

[thai-with-booty]

NYE part 1 – And so it begins

The long awaited reveal of what happened on New years eve, there was a lot that happened so its broken down into parts. As with all my stories, they are things I have actually done and enjoy sharing with you all for the good or the bad. If you have any questions feel free to send me an ‘ask’ and ill answer all.

I wasn’t sure of what was going to happen as I slipped a bottle of oil and a couple of small bikinis in my bag and left my home on the way to my friend’s home. It was around midday and hot and sunny, I had been invited by my friend Jib to come over to her house to sunbath during the afternoon and help her prepare a little for their NYE party that evening. I planned to go and sunbathe, get a nice tan with some tan lines I had been working on, before going home again to change before returning again in the evening. Was I really going to go all the way with her stepson Emil? I wasn’t sure, I had been turned on by a lot of the responses on Tumblr to having Emil wank his cock and cum on my as a Christmas gift, but was I really going to fuck him? I must admit I had made sure to shave and groom myself as if I was going to, what was I doing with a pack of condoms in my bag if I was only innocently going to visit my friend?

I arrived at Jibs home, I was wearing a tight white tank top and very short jean shorts with only a little thong underneath and no bra, what did it really matter? I was going to be just enjoying some afternoon sun in a little bikini anyways. My friend was already in her bikini, a little white bikini, but fully bottomed, she went to get drinks and take them to the pool while I went off to the bathroom upstairs to change. Was it intentional that I left the door open as I changed? Or was it innocently because I ‘believed’ it was only Jib and myself home and she was downstairs anyways so who could possibly seem me anyways? Again was it just innocent and normal that I undressed slowly and stood naked in front of the mirror admiring my perk boobs and dark hard nipples, my smooth pussy and legs before rubbing oil all over my naked body, I mean I would have put oil on to tan by the pool anyways, so why not do it here? Was there anything wrong with bending over and slowly pulling on my bright orange thong bikini, I mean there was no one around and I did need to bend over to retrieve it from my bag. The oil was making my pussy and nipples slightly visible through my bikini, if only I had put the bikini on before that might not have happened, oh well, Jib won’t mind, she’s seen all of me before anyways. Speaking of Jib, I could see her from the large bathroom window already seated in one of the deckchairs by the pool with a couple of glasses of wine already poured. I had better get back down there. Leaving my tank top, jean shorts and little white thong on the rack in the bathroom (where else was I supposed to keep it), I made my way down to the pool.

Jib complimented me and I complimented her as I took my seat next to her by the pool, I took a refreshing sip of wine, while feeling the heat of the sun hit my body, the oil glistening in the sunlight. We spoke a while about this and that, and the plans for the evening, Most people would arrive around 8pm, there would be drinks and canopies available, there was a few guests invited, many of whom I knew, friends of Jibs husband Oliver, all ages in their late 40s and 50s, as well as some other women Jib knew, it was to be around 30 guests in total, though their house is quite large, helps that Oliver is well off and their home in the suburbs of Bangkok. I innocently slipped in if Emil is going to be there, to which she mentioned he would as he didn’t have many friends, he was currently upstairs with a friend, but that friend wouldn’t be staying for the evening. I barely held together my surprise, he was upstairs right now? Had he seen me? Had I known he was? Was he spying on us now laying out here in the open in tiny bikinis? I couldn’t help but keep on glancing up at the windows as the conversation turned to other things, what was I even hoping to see? Did I want him to be looking or not? The sun reflecting off the windows was so bright could he be looking at me right now and I have no idea? Should I take off my top? Should I cover up? Wait did she say he was with a friend? My mind in a little bit of a stir, maybe it was the second glass of wine I had just finished off, I decided to lay back for a bit and just enjoy the sun, I would have this evening to go looking for a bit of fun, there were plenty of men coming after all.

Right that it, I need to pee, I got up, my friend had dozed off in the hot sun, as I made my way inside the house. I went past the downstairs bathroom, I mean I wanted to check on my clothes anyways, yes that’s all I was innocently doing as I made my way upstairs. Where was his room again? Did I hear something? Or did I want to hear something? Why am I walking so slowly and quietly if nothing is going on? I made my way to the top of the stairs before going down on of the corridors towards the bathroom, I was in there using the toilet when I noticed my clothes were missing. He has them, it has to be him, I put them there to tempt him hadn’t I? Was I angry he took them, or happy? I want to confront him, or is it I want him to see me in my bikini, to see what he is doing, but wait doesn’t he have a friend with him? I walked down the corridor, his room was closed and I listened at the door, there was nothing but a tune to a video game, I opened the door, and what was I hoping to see? They weren’t there, ‘they’ why am I now looking for both? Where could they be? Their game was on pause, they must be still home. Back out into the corridor I heard something for sure I did, it came from Jib and Oliver’s room, could I go in there? Her husband was out after all. I opened the door, I couldn’t see anything but it was the first time I heard, it was the sound of sexual pleasure, but it wasn’t just one, it was more than one person. Was that Emil and his friend? Why were they in the ensuite bathroom and not in Emil’s room? The bathroom door was open as I made my way towards it, it was then I saw for the first time Emil with his pants and shorts around his ankles as were his friends, both of them with their cocks in their own hands. They were wanking, my clothes were there too. Why are they in there though? That’s when I first heard them talking, ‘when is she coming back’, ‘I don’t know, but your mom’s not too bad to look at until she does’, ‘you dick’. What was I going to do now? Do I walk in? Watch? Go back down to the pool knowing two young men are wanking looking down at me? ‘Lek better be back soon, I need to cum soon’, with that something took over me and I stepped into the bathroom, I opened my mouth and said ‘I hope you won’t cum just yet, I was hoping we could have some fun’ Both Emil and his friend spun round, shock on their faces, hard cocks still in hand, Emil’s friend wasn’t a bad size, but he really helped to show how well-endowed Emil is. They stood there with their mouths gaping, like a fish out of water, they didn’t know what to say. I became more confident again walking in between them. ‘So boys, it seems you were enjoying what you could see from a distance, now im up close, what can I do for you both?’ What was I even hoping they would ask for? What was it I was prepared to do? Emil’s friend then blurted out ‘can we see you naked?’ to which I only smiled as I reached around behind my bikini top and undid it, dropping it to the floor, both their eyes shooting to my boobs, before letting my thong bottoms slip down my legs to the floor and their eyes exploring my pussy too. ‘Can we wank on you?’ Emil suggested, I put my hand around his big hard cock, I said into his ear ‘isnt there something a little more I could do for you?’ ‘Can we get blowjobs?’ Emils friend said. I paused, is this what I had wanted them to say? Was it more than I wanted? Or am I disappointed they didn’t want to fuck me? Ok, is that what you both really want? Both started to nod their heads rapidly. I took Emil by the hand and led him back into the bedroom, I turned to his friend and said if he kept an eye out for Jib, I would give him a BJ after Emil, he barely took his eyes off the window after that, other than to glance at what I was doing to Emil and he could expect in turn right after. I laid Emil on the bed, and got onto the bed also, I took his big cock in my hand and started to lick his cock, sucking his balls, licking my cock all up the shaft of his cock before taking his cock in my mouth, it was fun to have this big hard cock in my mouth, it was then when he groaned in pleasure I admitted to myself I had wanted this all along, I was enjoying sucking his cock, looking at this amazed face, I let his cock find the back of my throat, I sucked his cock like a pornstar, ‘im going to cum’ Emil said, I just nodded with his cock still in my mouth, he didn’t try to pull it out as he unleashed a torrent of cum flying down my throat, his cock so far back in my mouth I never even had a chance to taste it before swallowing every drop, its then I sucked on his cock more as it started to grow placid. I was caught in the moment with Emil, when I noticed his friend looking over expectantly, I looked back to Emil and said ‘Are you ok I do to your friend now?’ To which Emil looked slightly jealous but said he didn’t mind, seeing that look on his face I told him he could have me that night, moving his hand to my pussy as I said the word ‘anything’. He grinned and got up to walk over to the window, as his friend came over to the bed. I did the same for his friend, but I kept looking over to Emil, I had only glanced at his friend once or twice when I sucked Emil, but here I was constantly looking over to Emil. I then noticed Emil was barely looking out of the window, this made me feel proud and happy in myself as I concentrated on sucking his friend. A few minutes later his friend was getting louder, it suddenly shot in my mind, I looked at Emil, ‘your mom!’ ‘Relax’ he said as he stepped back towards the window, ‘oh shit, shes gone’. Next I heard my name ‘Lek’ Jib was calling out to me from the top of the stairs, ‘where are you?’ She will know im not in the bathroom, I had left the door open, besides we cant escape this room without being seen. The only option being to bundle into the ensuite bathroom. My mind when in a muddle, what would I say or do? There is no reason for me to be in her bedroom then her private bathroom, I had no time to think before she called out my name again, I didn’t say anything and hissed at the two guys to be quiet, she turned the handle on the door, and it was locked. ‘Lek?’ I had no choice ‘Yes, sorry’, ‘What are you doing in there?’ What was I doing in here? What was I supposed to say? ‘Sorry for using your bathroom, I thought you wouldn’t mind, but the other bathroom was being used and I was desperate’, a little weak and a little embarrassing, but I think she bought it, ‘ok, I’ll see you back at the pool, have you seen Emil and his friend? They’re not in their room?’ I am stood naked next to her step son and his friend, both with their cocks still out, but all I can say is ‘No’. I hear her go away, where I am not sure, the moment a little gone, I tell them to get there clothes on as I make a move to slip back into my bikini, Emil’s friend looking a little crestfallen, ive completely lost the mood but understand he was not far off cumming and enjoying a BJ when this all kicked off, I tell him I will finish him off, I drop to my knees and start rubbing his cock, when hard I tell him to let me know when he needs to cum, I start to take all his cock in my mouth, sucking hard and fast on his cock wanting him to cum soon, it isn’t long before he pants ‘yes, yes, im going to cum’ at which I pull my mouth away from him, lean back and let him jerk his cock as he starts to cum over my face and boobs, I notice Emil is rock hard again from watching, but choose to ignore it for now. I tell them both to sneak out first, I look in the mirror, feeling Emil’s big load in my throat and his friends cum on my cheek, chin and boobs. I clean off and make my way back down to Jib by the pool. I came over not knowing what would happen this evening, but its only 2pm and Ive sucked two guys’ cocks. It’s going to be a long night

[stopbeingcurious]

You make me feel young again*

PART THREE / MASTERLIST

pairing: post azkaban sirius black x y/n

warning: dirty thoughts/ letters

a/n i had so many request to make more of this series so here we are... enjoy :P

A couple of weeks had gone past, without any contact from Sirius and yours and Professor Lupins relationship had gone back to normal, like nothing had ever happened.

The only thing on your mind was the way Sirius touched you, how his skin felt against yours. You missed it.

You remember the words Sirius spoke the last and only time you were together;

“Not many girls like you,”

Not many girls like you? The way Sirius spoke about his time as a teenager he made it sound like he had slept around.

It was taunting your mind, you wanted to see Sirius again, you needed too. You daydreamed in class about him, at lunch in the shower, in bed. You needed that mans affection again.

It got so bad that you were loosing sleep, you were genuinely so aroused that you couldn't sleep at night, not with a puddle and a heartbeat between your legs.

You thought you could relieve some of the tension yourself but of course that didn't work, just made it worse. 

You needed male attention.

And of course your friends caught onto your behaviour changes, asking you a variety or questions when you left your dorm room looking like a disheveled mess.

In other words, you were desperate.

class

You're currently sitting in class, potions to be exact, listening to Professor Snape bore on about how it's illegal to become animagi underage. You had no interest whatsoever in the subject at hand so decided to rest your head on your hand and let your mind wander. What you didn't remember was that Professor Snape was a skilled Legilimens. His voice rung out from the front of the class just as your mind wandered in the direction it had been for a while now, Sirius.

“Y/n, I suggest you concentrate if you don't want your fellow classmates and I knowing what you're thinking about,” His eyes narrowed in your direction, pulling everyones attention from their work, all eyes on you. Some smirks, some confused, some bothered because they had been distracted.

You let out a silent huff as you switch your attention to the parchment in front of you.

common room

Your friends surround you, all looking intrigued. They had just interrupted you from reading your book sitting next to the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room.

“We know somethings up Y/n, would you just give up and tell us already!” Angelina flung her arms around in expression. She was pulled out of her expressive state with a hand on her shoulder, Freds.

“Ange is right Y/n, we just wanna know if there was anything we could do to help.” Fred asks, his body was slouched forwards slightly so he didn't seem as intimidating as he usually did.

You measure your friends that you're okay and that you're just not getting enough sleep. 

You were so into your book and now your attention has been snatched by your brain again, filling your vision with images of that night, the night where right went wrong, the night of your life.

You'd had enough of this tormenting, the only way you could get to Sirius was through Professor Lupin and you had an idea.

You proceeded to write Sirius a letter, a very detailed letter, just to bless his imagination as much as you blessed his everyday but the your mind flooded with questions; What if Sirius didn't want to see you again? Is that why he hadn't contacted you first? Did he think you were just a one time thing? But Sirius thought the complete opposite of this.

Sirius received your letter, Remus handed it to him with a stern look on his face.

“I didn't read it, I respect your privacy Sirius but you have to be smart about it,” Sirius knew straight away who the letter was from. Remus sat at the table opposite him in their shared home.

“We don't know what it says yet Moony,” Sirius scoffs and opens the letter.

Dear Sirius,

If Prof. Lupin is around, do not show any sign on your face with the words I am about to say. Sirius I miss your touch, I'm not sure if you thought it was a one time thing and I could be embarrassing myself right now but if you feel the same, if you didn’t want it to be a one time thing I wonder why I can see you next. I sit in my classes, arousal pooling in my panties because of you. Your making me feral Sirius, I need you inside of me soon, I cant please myself, I need you and your big cock to stretch out my tight pussy, its waiting for you Sirius.

Y/n :)

Sirius couldn't contain himself, he quickly grew hard in his trousers also trying not to show any signal as to what the letter had just read. Of course he wanted to see you again, he wanted his hands all over your body, his callous fingers rubbing against the red of your ass where he has just slapped.

Remus looked at him with confusion as Sirius was sitting there with sort of wide eyes wondering how he was suddenly wrapped up with an 18 year old. He was pinning over her, attached.

“Sirius, what did it say?” Remus leaned forwards in his chair, hand sewn together as well as his eyebrows.

Sirius snapped out of his stance on the command of Remus’ voice.

“It said that what we did was a mistake and that she is sorry,” Sirius lies straight through his teeth, pretending that the letter had bruised his ego.

The air was clear, and everyone could breath again.

Sirius was relieved that Remus had believed him and Remus was relieved because Sirius and yourself were no longer infatuated with each other, lifting a huge relief of his shoulder. 

But Remus didn't know the contents of Sirius next letter to you...

hogwarts

You were sitting at breakfast, tapping on the table. Your distractions had gotten better over the last couple days meaning that you'd been sleeping better meaning that your friends hadn't been on your back constantly.

“You alright Y/n?” Angelina sits next to you, swinging her legs dramatically over the bench, stretching her arm into the middle of the table to grab an apple.

“Yeah I'm okay thanks Ange,” She smiles at you. “How are you?” You ask, taking another bite of the toast that sat on your plate.

“Yeah yeah I'm all good, anyway I came here to tell you that Professor Lupin wants to see you before class,” Your eyes widen, had he read the letter between you and Sirius? You didn't think he would have, he wasn't the type to invade privacy.

Angelina noticed the colour drain from your face and a worried look creeps onto her face. “Whats wrong? What did you do? Are you in trouble?” She bombards you with questions to which you stand up and run out of the hall towards the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. You might as well pack your bags now, theres no way that he is going to let you off without punishment after he read the letter.

Your legs ran as fast as they could take you, dodging students and teachers, earning a phew ‘No running in corridors’.

You came to an immediate halt in front of the door you recognised so well and you knocked.

“Come in,” You heard from the other side of the door.

You take a deep breath, feel the cold untouched door handle underneath your shaking skin. You breath again, trying to steady your breaths and trying to hold back the tears that were ebbing on your waterline.

You push the door open to find your DADA Professor standing at the top of the stairs leading up to his office, you sniffle and bite your lip, hiding any emotion.

“Come into my office Y/n,” He turns around and strides into his office, leaving the door open behind him.

You begin to walk towards the stairs, having his emotionless words replay in your head, thinking out all the possibilities of how this interaction could go and how you could make it easier for yourself. You pace the floor feeling the cold air of the classroom consume you due to the lack of human warmth. You shiver and resume your journey now striding up the stairs.

Pushing the door open, you stride into his office the same way he did. You immediately saw a letter on the desk, you mentally cursed yourself, letting your Professor do all the talking.

“I see you got my message from Angelina?” He was slouched back in his chair, looking rather relaxed.

You nod, worried if you speak that your voice will break as you were on the verge of tears.

“Why so quiet? Is there something wrong?” His eyebrows furrowed as he asked. 

“No nothing, just not sleeping properly lately,” You lie, you figured you would just tell everyone the same thing so that if the subject came up everyones stories would match.

“Ah yes, Angelina told me,” You looked shocked. “Anyway,” He dismisses the subject. “I have something for you,” Remus turns your attention when he picks up the letter on the desk with his long, dainty fingers.

The letter was for you? You thought that was the letter you sent Sirius.

You take the letter that he was offering and examine it. There was no name on the front of it and it wasn't sealed at the back. You look up at your Professor and all he does is smile and nod, then your attention is back on the letter, you practically ripped it open, knowing that it was from Sirius.

Dear Y/n,

I assume you will have received this letter from Remus.

We cant send any more letters as I told Remus that your letter was about how you thought what we did was wrong and that it was a mistake so tell him that as well, thats what he knows. I am in instant need of you, I want to feel your body below me, writhing around underneath me. I need to taste you, all of you. I want to make your ass all red then kiss it all over. I want to make you cum over and over and over until you cant cum anymore, would you like that? I will find a way that we can reunite but you're going to have to wait pup, I'm sure you can do that for me.

Sirius *paw-print*

The colour drained from your face once again and your heart rate sped up drastically. Only Sirius words had this great of an effect on you. You had to hide any expression from Remus, you knew what he knew and you had to go along with it.

“Im sorry Y/n but I think it was for the best,” The Professor sat before you, shuffling papers ready for your first lesson with him.

“I agree Professor, thank you for delivering my letter,” You reply, trying to ignore the puddle in you underwear. You had to do something about it before class started, you could sit in his lesson feeling aroused the whole time!

“Your free to wait in here Y/n, class will start soon,” You decline your Professors offer and run to the toilet with the letter, needing to relieve some of this built up tension.

[eviclair]

thanks to @starlit-pathways for the tag!! love talking about myself, 10/10

last album: i consume 98% of my music through the random shit spotify yeets at my face every week so i dont really ever listen to full albums BUT

Lei Line Eon by Iglooghost : iglooghost and his beepboops have been gluing my mental health together since like 2014. lei line is the most recent album but please know i am listening to his entire discography all the time forever

Afterburner by Dance Gavin Dance : last year prisoner was my most binged song and the only reason thats not still the case is because the i realized the rest of the album was Also great and i just let the whole thing play now

what i DO listen to cover to cover are soundtracks!! constantly!! this weeks favorites are

Made in Abyss from Kevin Penkin : you could not pay me to finish watching this series but mr penkin sir i have feelings for you

Final Fantasy XIII / XIII-2 : this year spotify told me i was in the top 2% of masashi hamauzu’s listeners. this is distressing. who is in the top 1% if not me, i just want to talk.

D4: Dark Dreams Don’t Die : man don’t @ me about this i just wanna live in a world where i can get the serotonin hit from theme of d4 without being hit by crushing cancellation sadness

Endwalker OST from Soken: its not officially out for me to link but please know of the 25 hours a day i spend logged into the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV with an expanded free trial which you CAN’T play that covers the entirety of A Realm Reborn and the award winning Heavensward expansion up to level 60 for free with no restrictions on playtime, about 15 of them are spent healing vanaspati. there is no reason for this. my whm is at cap. i just want that orchestrion roll and i am willing to experience unlimited amounts of violence to obtain it.

last movie: spider-man nwh. it was certainly a movie! i did have fun! 98% of that was my pea brain going OOOH WOOOOOAH ITS SPIDERMAN I LOVE THAT DUDE and not much else, which i guess is the point!! will not be consuming another marvel property until spiderverse 2

currently reading: i miss books, man. miss being able to read real actual physical literature without feeling like my brain is trying to escape out my ears but here we are!! what i CAN still read is uhhhh horrendous amounts of fanfic so here’s the top picks of late

Pedestal by Digital Skitty (Pokemon): area child begins their pokemon journey with the most broke-ass team (derogatory) conceivable. You Won’t Believe What Happens Next ! i dont know anything about pokemon now and i didnt know anything about pokemon eleven years ago when i read this on ffn but skitty’s puttin in on ao3 now so its a good time to say: pedestal is the fucking best. i’ll die on this hill. pedestal fucked me up as a human so bad i now own this persons actual published books. go go now

The Tourist’s Guide To Aselia by ritzcracker (Tales of Symphonia): y’all already know im a huge slut for inserts and godddd this one is just excellent. oc is chefs kiss, worldbuilding is chefs kiss, scenery description is unparalleled. mx ritzcracker if youre reading this i love you

the call of yesterday by MargaritaDaemonelix (Fire Emblem: Three Houses) : new game +++ byleth vs Her Actual Job but make it hurt me so good. god GOD god i love gen. prayers in chat for op’s grades tho 🙏

i am accepting fic recs 24 hours a day 7 days a week. i am in love with your ocs specifically.

up next:

A Clash of Kings by George RR Martin : i have been trying to read the asoiaf series with minimal success for like four years. it is going to happen. it is GOING to happen. there is simply too much happening in that ao3 tag for me live out my days in ignorance. its just that every time i open this fucking book all i can think is WOW what a fantasy series, so horny, really makes me want to read the vastly less sexual and incomparably better

Cry of the Icemark by Stuart Hill : high fantasy feral teenager has to figure out how the hell to be Queen At Thirteen while gathering a supernatural army to fight Literally The Roman Empire. i’ve read this book maybe thirty times. i will read it perhaps thirty more times. thirrin freer strong-in-the-arm lindenshield, my beloved

currently watching:

Jujutsu Kaisen : i’m way behind the curve on this one, i know, i just finished the junpei arc and im suffering

Mo Dao Zu Shi : i did not know the mdzs donghua got a part three until like yesterday. where were you all in my time of need. i have so much to watch

currently craving:

not the catboy. i mean yes the catboy but i have thought of almost nothing else but this donut basket for... weeks. i think a lot my problems could be solved by a picnic basket full of pastries (and also the catboy) but all the bakeries around here have been so slammed for the holidays it just aint worth it til after new years

tagging:  do you also like to talk way too much about your interests?? lucky for you i like to read abt them!! if youre reading this then i tag you

[shysneeze]

good enough (draco malfoy x fem!reader)

Good Enough

Draco Malfoy x fem!Slytherin!Reader 

*based loosley on the song ‘line without a hook’ by ricky montgomery*  

Request: can I ask for Draco x reader where the reader is sassy, but also kind Slytherin (like one of the kind Slytherin)?? And Draco has a huge crush on her? Super fluffy? ~ @lennylangdraws 

Warnings: low self-esteem, angst, smidge of house stereotyping, i don’t know the meaning of fluff im so sorry 

Authors note: you asked for fluff and I have no excuses for how this turned out except this song has been stuck in my head for weeks now. I hope you like it anyway despite the angst... i tried to make it fluffy make up at the end?

Also, I’m not saying this is a prequel to vulnerable love, but it kinda fits... pretty sure it makes vulnerable love hurt more though.)

.

Draco wasn’t sure it was possible to want back what he’s never had.

He never knew being stuck in the awkward phase of being an ‘almost couple’ is something he could miss, that he’d ever long to feel the heat that would creep up his cheeks when their eyes met, to feel the nauseating butterflies flap in his stomach when she smiled at him or the jolt of nervous energy that would rip through him whenever their fingers accidentally grazed each other’s under tables or in corridors.

Yet now that those little things are beyond his grasp, he’s desperate for them again, desperate for her. It might be easier to miss her if she were gone, rather than just sitting at the other end of the Slytherin table, or across the room during classes, it would be easier not to see her, the constant reminder of what he’s allowed him self to ruin.

They weren’t supposed to get along, every conflicting personality trait dooming them to a life as enemies. Everyone knows her, the ‘nice’ Slytherin. It’s a title given to her by her classmates, the too-cocky Gryffindors who can’t see past Slytherin’s bad reputation as bullies and snobs, a bad-reputation fuelled by Draco Malfoy himself.

No one could have expected them to end up the way they did, dates in Hogsmeade or hushed conversations by the common room fire in the early hours of the morning and afternoons spent by the lake. No one could have expected them to get along so well.

Draco knows that everyone has expected this though, for them to fall apart before they’ve even had the chance to begin. It’s what they’ve expected of him all along after all, to break her heart.

He’s pretty sure he hasn’t got the right to be looking for her like this, seeking her out desperately to get her back, once again deluded into believing he ever had her in the first place. He’s the one who called it off in a moment of certainty that it was the right thing to do, a selfless act. And so it’s wrong for him to be here right now, back in their secret spot.

She’s exactly where he assumed she would be, curled beneath the tree she was always affectionately calling theirs. His entire body tenses painfully at the sight of her, face hidden in her palms and body shaking, not from the cold, but from the trembling of barely silenced sobs.

He wonders if it’s his racing heart that she can hear that alerts her to his presence and has her looking up from her hands, teary eyes meeting his in surprise. Then, she pulls her brows into a well-justified scowl and a lump forms in Draco’s throat that he can’t seem to swallow.

“What are you doing here?”

An incredibly valid question for which Draco can only provide selfish answers. It seems silly to tell her that he’s hear to win her back, and futile given her growing anger. Yet he won’t be able to live with himself if he doesn’t, miserable without her.

“I miss you.” He gulps honestly. “Truthfully, I’ve been a mess without you.”

“Merlin, Draco.” She gasps out a laugh of disbelief. “Maybe you should have thought of that before you started ignoring me. Frankly, that isn’t really my issue.”

“I know.” He sighs apologetically. “I know, I didn’t mean-“

“Just get it over with, Draco.” She rolls her eyes. “Say your piece and leave me alone.”

He nods, taking hesitant steps forward towards her, the frost coated grass crunching under foot. She avoids his eyes as he takes a seat beside her, staring determinedly at her lap and making a conscious attempt to hide the quickly accumulating tears.

“Aren’t you cold?”

She lets out a loud exasperated sigh and refuses him an answer. He agrees with the sentiment of it, regretted the stupidity of it the minute it left his lips. Still, he leans forward to pull the Slytherin scarf from his neck and twists himself to allow him to wrap it loosely around hers, fussing with it until he’s reassured that she’ll be warmer for it.

“You looked cold.”

“Tis’ the season.” She mumbles sarcastically.

Her sarcasm is another thing he’s missed from her, and it draws a momentary smile to his face. Then, the moment is over, and his eyes have fixed on the tear stains painting her cheeks, proof of his own fatal mistake.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N).”

She scoffs.

“Two weeks overdue.”

“I know.” He agrees sheepishly. “I know, (Y/N).”

“Then why are you only here now?” She questions. “Why did you do it in the first place? You can’t just act like you have feelings for someone then disappear and ignore them for weeks!”

Her voice wobbles and cracks at the end, much to her own dismay, and each breath she takes is jagged in the way one’s always is when trying to conceal tears. He watches her press the balls of her palm to her eyes in frustration, letting out a small whimper that has every inch of him aching with remorse.

Part of him, a self-preserving part, tells him to lie. It’s a side of himself he’s grown to hate recently, the side that pushed him into this mess in the first place, and so he knows better than to bargain with it again. So, with a deep breath, he chooses to tell the truth, he chooses to be vulnerable.

“I’m not good enough.”

Although exhaled in a whisper the revelation is startlingly loud. Perhaps its due to the serene quiet always felt on crisp cold days like today, where the sun hangs low in the sky and the lake lies unimaginably still, or perhaps it’s the raw honestly in the statement that makes it seem so alarmingly bold.

She blinks at him, lips parting in surprise and brows furrowing in confusion or concern, Draco isn’t sure. He can hear his pulse in his ears, a slight trembling in his hands that he knows has nothing to do with the chilly breeze. He’s done something profound, terrifying even, and opened that vulnerably part of himself to someone, with no control over what happens to it next.

“What?” She manages.

“Everyone knows it, (Y/N).” He explains nervously. “I’m a terrible match for you.” 

“Who the hell is everyone” She frowns. “Since when did they matter?”

There is a certain protective edge to her voice that he doesn’t deserve, but it replays itself in his head over and over, clinging to it for hope. It takes him a moment to let it go again, to push it down and answer.

“They’re right.” He sighs. “You’re too good a person for me, I’m too Slytherin.”

The concern instantly leaves her eyes, she sits forward with an urgent look of disbelief and another of her signature scoffs. She’s giving him an inspective look, trying to figure out if he’s serious, or if he’s suddenly picked up a new, strange sense of humour.

“You’re kidding, right?”

He isn’t quite sure what to say and his silence fuels another disbelieving shake of her head.

“I am a Slytherin, Draco.” She exclaims. “No matter what those big-headed Gryffindors are always saying, I was sorted into Slytherin and I’m proud of it- you’re supposed to be proud too, not agreeing with those stupid stereotypes.”

“It’s different.” He exhales in frustration. “I am those stupid stereotypes!”

Draco Malfoy has never been considered modest.

Self-confidence isn’t a trait earned in the Malfoy family clan, but rather inherited between generations, a birth right bestowed upon them the minute they are old enough to understand. It’s a confidence Draco has always been comfortably protected by, unwaveringly sure of his own self-importance gifted to him by his ancestors

Yet something about the infamously kind (Y/N) (Y/L/N) has him constantly falling apart at the seams with the need to be good enough for her. He’s never met anyone like her, no one so capable of making him question the unwarranted self-importance he was raised on as a Malfoy.

Even now, wrapped unceremoniously in his scarf, late falling orange leaves lying in her hair and her cheeks stained with tears, he’s never felt so undeserving of a person in his life. She’s a lady, and he’s just a boy, he’s heartbreakingly inadequate.

“I just want to be someone you can be proud to call yours.”

With his eyes solemnly fixed on his lap, anywhere other than her reaction, he jumps slightly at her cold fingertips on his hand, prying them from the tightly curled fists he has no recollection of clenching and slipping her fingers into his.

“Draco, look at me.” She pleads softly. “Please.”

He does so slowly with her encouraging squeeze of his hand, she’s smiling at him, sympathetic, but unpatronizing.

“I am proud.” She states softly, but confidently. “I don’t want some perfect golden boy, I want you, Draco.”

Three words he never knew he needed from her, ‘I want you’, and they fill a space in his chest that was gaping for reassurance. She’s amazed him again as she always does, she has a talent for making him speechless than no one else has ever mastered.

“You’re so harsh on yourself you haven’t even realised how much you’ve grown, Draco.” She informs. “You’re not the bully you used to be, you’re not the carbon copy of your father anymore, and I’m sorry that no one has allowed you to move on from your past to see your present.”

She smiles sheepishly at his dumfounded expression and gives him the moment he needs to collect his thoughts and process it all. Then, slowly, he’s shaking his head in surprise, letting out a soft sigh.

“You’re too good to me.”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” She jokes. “I think I straightened that misconception out already.”

“No but- you’re just so…”

The heat burning his cheeks is worse than ever before, he feels almost overwhelmed by it all, her compliments, her smile, that genuine look in her eyes that convinces him she’s unwaveringly sure of every word she’s said.

“Thank you.” He blurts finally. “Especially after I- well I ruined it all.”

“Yeah, I won’t lie, you really fucked up.” She admits. “But you’ve made an honest recovery…”

“Thank you for giving me a second chance.” He exhales gratefully. “You didn’t need to do that.”

“I was going to tell you to piss off after the ‘are you cold’ bit to be honest.” She chuckles. “Stayed because you gave me your scarf- which I’m stealing by the way.”

“Take it.” He urges, a smile finding his lips for what he’s sure is the first time in two weeks, since his misguided decision to end their almost-relationship. “Take whatever you want from me, it’s yours.”

She lets out a shaky breath and gulps. She purposely drops her gaze momentarily to his lips before retuning them to his eyes again, a gesture that has his eyes widening and the tips of his ears turning scarlet. Slipping her fingers from between his, she tentatively cups one of his cheeks, fingertips grazing the red colour blossoming on his pale skin.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I-“ He chokes. “Yes.”

She smiles nervously, reassuring him that he’s not the only one flustered. Then, curling her free hand around the lapel of his jacket, she pulls him closer with eyes shut. Their lips are cold when they meet, and slightly chapped by the cool air, but neither care. Draco places a hand on her waist, pulling her somehow closer as their lips begin to move hesitantly together. She lets out a soft content sigh, sending a breath of warm air into the kiss and causing him to positively melt inside. She’s done it again, completely incapacitated him with such a simple thing as a kiss.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” He exhales.

She lets out a giddy laugh as she pulls back, forehead still pressed to his and eyes still shut.

“There are worst ways to go than my lips.”

He knows, he’s very quickly decided that’s the only way he ever wants to go.  She presses her lips to his again for a split second before pulling back completely, he aches for the feeling again, greedy for it now that he’s felt it once.

“Next time, talk to me.” She pleads. “If you ever feel like you’re not good enough, I’ll be there to convince you otherwise, but don’t just disappear.”

“I won’t.” He assures. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know that, Draco.” She smiles sadly. “I just want you to know that you can talk to me.”

“I do.”

The hard part, that initial step, is over. He’s leapt into the unknown, flung himself into the terrifying depths of vulnerability, and there is no going back, but he never wants to, he never wants to leave her again.

“Also if I ever hear you speaking shit about our house again I swear to-“

She’s cut off by his lips once again on hers, startled only for a minute before she’s grinning, grateful to see his confidence returning. She can feel his own grin on her lips and the vibrations of a light laugh before he’s pulling back again.

“Consider me warned.”

“Good.” She exhales. “Or I’ll be confiscating your tie next.”

. 

(Authors note: its not my favourite but if i rewrote it one my time i was flinging my laptop out my window... its not particularly proofread.)