#but hopefully it is also coherent lol

[omegalomania]

Wait why does everyone hate brendon urie again?

i was tempted to just say "google it" but honestly panic's pr team is working doubletime to sanitize this bastard so here's a quick primer for those who are out of the loop.

this got long so i’m putting it under a cut. as a warning, this is going to have discussions and screenshots of people saying and doing extremely morally reprehensible shit, including racist, homophobic, and transphobic language, sexual harassment of minors, and more. tread with caution.

i'm also going to top this off with the caveat that brendon has a history of saying generally stupid and casually shitty things that a lot of people have noticed and called attention to, but these were largely unremarkable in the sense that they were the sort of things that i was not surprised to hear a privileged cis dude say. so while that's definitely a factor - the guy has said very shitty, openly racist, gross things, etc., numerous times and on numerous platforms and i do not want to overlook that - i also don't want to pretend like that’s the only thing going on here because there is a lot of other heinous shit at work.

i’m also not going to go into the intricacies of song meanings or lyrics and the like aside from a couple touchstone examples. it’s pretty public knowledge by now that i don’t know how but they found me (henceforth referred to as idkhow, fronted by dallon weekes, who worked/toured with panic for a good eight years as its bassist) has quite a few numbers that take implicit and explicit aim at panic, most prominently the video for their single “do it all the time,” which featured dallon setting fire to all the suits he used to wear on tour with the band. it’s an open secret that dallon was not treated very well during his time with panic, but we’ll get to that. the point here is that i don’t want to focus on conjecture of speculation when we have a wealth of very hard evidence at our disposal.

so let’s get into it.

the real Poop started up late 2019 iirc, when numerous panic fans started passing around stories about zack hall, panic's bodyguard and security guy who had been with the band since the fever era. as the only person who had actually been with the band as long as brendon himself, zack had a fair amount of sway with the fans and was notably very very close with brendon. as more and more people spoke up, it became apparent that zack had done a whole lot of things that i would term as "incredibly fucked up" over the years with people being generally afraid to say anything. it’s been pointed out to me that these accusations only picked up traction around that time; fans have been raising flags about zack’s behavior for years without any reaction from panic’s management.

around this time, discussion began circulating that brendon himself had sexually harassed/assaulted multiple fans (many of them minors at the time). some of these accusations, such as his attempt to solicit nudes from fans, have proven to be way muddier to and harder to confirm, seeing as brendon was allegedly not in charge of his socials for some of this time and one of the people using his handles to solicit fans for nudes was reportedly a former stalker of his, chelsey lynn.

i think it is worth noting that brendon has brought up his history with “stage gay” with founding member, guitarist, composer, and lyricist ryan ross and mentioned that brendon’s attempts to get handsy on stage were not always taken kindly (emphasis mine):

For our first headline tour I would go up to Ryan our guitar player, and like kiss him on the neck or kiss him on the mouth and he would be so mad. I was like, I just want to kiss you bro.

(that’s also the interview where brendon tried to both-sides the issue of roseanne being a hideous fucking racist. so, fun stuff.)

in any case, it took brendon four months to respond to any of the accusations leveled at him and zack. he ended up doing so by filming a two-minute apology on his twitch account (which was locked to subscribers only, meaning it was essentially monetized) [twitter thread summary for those who can't stomach it], only to say that he was just too anxious to say anything and that while zack had been removed from his position, he and brendon would remain close friends. he did not respond to any of the allegations against himself, and proceeded to basically go completely radio silent on all social media until reemerging in 2022 to promote viva las vengeance.

(contrast to this to how speedily he fired touring guitarist kenny harris in 2018 when multiple allegations arose that he was soliciting underage girls. he was removed from the tour in less than twenty-four hours. while the expediency of this was praised at the time, it retroactively raises a lot of questions as to how much brendon and/or zack knew about this behavior beforehand and were simply waiting for a good PR call to do something about it.)

brendon seeing no issues with zack’s behavior and only doing something about it when backed into a corner is very much not a good look, and is suggestive of the possibility that he’s complicit in or at the very least tolerant of this kind of fuckery.

but wait. theres more.

beyond the genuine fucked up behavior, brendon also has a history of severely mistreating his bandmates. we could get into the politics of the infamous schism that split founding member ryan ross (along with bassist jon walker) from brendon and the band’s drummer, spencer smith, but that is its own bag of worms and this post is long enough already. that drama is very well-covered. however, i think it’s worth noting that out of every single member of the band that has come through it, both creative contributor and touring member, the only former member to depart the band amiably was spencer, who took his leave because of struggles with alcoholism. he’s the only one who remains on good terms with brendon to this day, but he’s also technically brendon’s boss at this point since he helps manage the label dcd2, of which panic at the disco is a part.

most apparent and well-documented of brendon’s spotty history with his own bandmates is his treatment of dallon weekes and his wife, breezy weekes, while the former was writing and touring with the band. in that little zack hall clusterfuck above you can see places where breezy talked about being repeatedly harassed but electing to keep quiet so that dallon wouldn't risk losing his job. reportedly they both went to panic's management to put a stop to it, but the bad behavior continued, with both zack hall and brendon’s wife, sarah urie, as propagators. there was public outcry as people insisted that dallon and breezy were making this up for attention. however, eventually former touring guitarist (from 2009-2012) ian crawford (along with his sister), both spoke up to corroborate that zack's behavior (and brendon's enabling of it) were very much recurring issues and were part of the reason that ian left panic in the first place. ian's twitter is no longer active, so all i have are screenshots on tumblr for this one.

dallon has not spoken of his time spent with panic with much fondness. he replaced bassist jon walker in 2009 and contributed creatively on both vices and virtues (2011) and too weird to live, too rare to die (2013). for the former, he was responsible for the concept and album art. for the latter, he got writing credit for all but two of the tracks (casual affair and end of all things), and you can even find an early version of "far too young to die" that was originally penned for one of dallon's earlier projects, the brobecks. the controversial track "girls/girls/boys" (as well as “all the boys”) from too weird was written for dallon's wife, breezy, as a celebration for her pansexuality. the finished product would end up being about an alleged threesome brendon had.

in 2015 dallon stated that he would no longer be involved in panic’s writing process but would continue to serve as touring bassist before departing officially in 2017 and focusing all his efforts on the aforementioned idkhow along with former falling in reverse drummer (and former fellow brobecks bandmate) ryan seaman. while dallon has remained relatively cagey about his time with panic (as is entirely within his rights), he has on occasion commented that he often felt bullied and belittled in the workplace, and once referred to zack hall as "the actual worst person [he had] ever met."

breezy has been more frank about what dallon had to deal with during his time with the band and over time, dallon has been more up front about this as well. turns out dallon was underpaid to the point where he had to take up a second job cleaning carpets while touring with panic, and working side jobs and donating plasma for gas money between tours. this continued well into 2010 and possibly for longer. the ratio was reportedly something like $400 a night compared to brendon's $15k paycheck, so take that as you will.

that's most of what i can remember. i tried to sauce everything i could but please let me know if i missed anything. i also tried to embed the images but doing so kept breaking the damn post cause this is a webbed site so you only get links SORRY

tldr brendon urie is self-absorbed prick who hoards credit, mistreats his musicians, shelters predators, and may very well be a predator himself. fuck him.

also, while i definitely don't want to downplay the severity of just how horrendous a lot of this shit is, in the interests of not wrapping this on a totally down note i do want to mention that people were writing brendon and panic out of the "emo trinity" legacy as early as mid-2019 because everyone hated pray for the wicked that fucking much. after having to endure the musical travesty that is high hopes innumerable times during every single 20-minute grocery store run i was ready to chalk up my dislike of him to sheer annoyance so you can imagine my surprise when i learned that not only was this annoyance justified i wasn't actually hating him nearly enough.

[wren-of-the-woods]

I've been seeing a lot of posts lately talking about how no one comments/reblogs/replies/etc anymore, and, as someone who comments regularly on a lot of fanworks, it sometimes makes me wonder if my efforts are worth anything. Then I remember how much happiness I get from comments on my own work/posts and how much the community of fandom can matter, and I remember the power that can be found in spreading joy instead of disappointment.

So -- to everyone who comments on fanfiction: thank you. You make the writing process worthwhile and so very rewarding. You make people happy every day.

To all the people who reblog art and gifsets and meta and anything else with enthusiastic tags: thank you. You make people smile and promote interesting conversations and make being on Tumblr so much more fun.

To anyone who sends people asks about their works, whether it's unprompted or part of an ask game: thank you. You give people reasons to talk about things they love and feel like a part of a community.

To the people who makes reclists: thank you. You give us more to read while showing the author how much their work is loved and appreciated, benefitting so many people.

To everyone who organizes events and groups and blogs and dedicated to fandom: thank you. You build community and love and excitement so effectively and it's wonderful.

To all the authors and artists who respond to comments and build community: thank you. You make people smile with your work and then again with your response.

To everyone who contributes to fandom and community in all the other beautiful, varied ways that I can't even begin to list: thank you. You are why we're here.

And, finally, to every writer, visual artist, gifmaker, cosplayer, maker of edits, writer of meta, or creator of art in any other form: thank you. Your work is wonderful and you make fandom what it is, regardless of who sees your art or how much response you recieve.

Keep going, everyone. You are a part of something beautiful.

[genesisgijinka]

Do you have any tips for drawing backgrounds? Yours always look so nice

aww thank you! As for tips...

Tip #1:

Find references. I sketched the cover for chapter 4 three different times, because the first two didn't evoke the majesty of the Prism Tower in the way I wanted it to. And then I saw this

I think you can see how this translated into the cover

Tip #2:

Do studies. Be it from photos (your own or from a royalty free website like pixabay, but watch out for AI garbage bc the perspective is usually wrong) or from real life. It's not cheating, it's encouraged, and it's industry standard. Idc if you have photographic memory, get something from real life in front of your eyeballs and draw it. Try and keep your reference close to your drawing so that it's easier for your eyes to flick back and forth between the two. This is how you can train your eyes to really see what's going on in an image. Compare angles, shapes, sizes, and distances.

I use clip studio paint for Genesis, which has perspective rulers and they're super handy for speeding up the process (first image) and again, is not cheating. It's a tool to use in your arsenal. A little tricky to use, but once you get it down, it's fantastic. I also really recommend using other mediums, like a sketchbook and a sharpie (2nd image) or dinking around in Paint (3rd image). Limiting yourself in challenging ways is a great way to grow fast. Experimenting like this is also great for finding a style or technique that you click with

Tip #3:

Be aware of the cone of vision. This is a technical skill, but it's one of those things that you don't necessarily have to draw out every single time (tho I'd recommend doing it at least once to burn it into your memory better). If your drawing is looking wonky, the cone of vision being breached is a likely culprit. I'll link a video to someone who can explain how to do it better than I can.

Tip #4:

Learn how to draw things the same size in perspective. This is probably the thing I use the most. For example;

You have a tiled floor in a room. The lines going to the vanishing point are easy to do.

But how do you do the horizontal ones going across the floor?

Step 1: draw two horizontal lines, and put an X in one of them, going from corner to corner

Step 2: Going from the center of the X, trace a line back to the vanishing point

Step 3: from one corner, draw a line that goes through where that center line hits the tile edge

Step 4: at the end of this new line is where the next tile will start

Step 5: Rinse and repeat as needed

Ta-da! You now have tiles that are all the same size

This also works for vertical things like windows or telephone poles

One of the most useful applications I've found this trick for is making sure that everything is the right size. Sticking a person in a drawing is an instantly recognizable way to show scale

Whilst sketching the cover for ch 4, I'd accidentally made the doors way too small in the buildings in the back, so I slapped some people down to make sure they were the right height (This is in 3-point perspective, so the trick still works, regardless of if it's 1-, 2-, or 3-pt perspective owo b )

[marsbotz]

Saw your tag saying FSM haters come fight you. Here I am! Frankly I'm not so much of a hater as I am just of the opinion "wow this guy sure Started All This Shit" but I'm absolutely willing to hear your view of the matter if you're willing to share! Love some Friendly Fandom Discourse (it's healthy tbh) come at me bro 👊 👊 👊

HI LOL.... my personal opinion is that the FSM gets a lot of hate for similar reasons to wu (which i also think are unjustified but that's a different post). like you said he gets a lot of the blame put on him for starting everything that's to come in the show, but i don't really feel like he intended to do any harm.

the FSM was born into a war. when he was still a very young child, he was forced to choose one side of himself, of his family, and destroy the other. and so he ran away. but this world he runs to is chaotic and dangerous. and so again, he is forced to fight for the right to live in peace along with the inhabitants of this world.

but even in this new world, he wasn't safe: the oni followed him, determined to bring him back to fight for them. and after them, the overlord. his whole life, especially when he was younger, he had been fighting, or running from forces that aimed to destroy him.

i believe the FSM was incredibly paranoid throughout his life, worrying that at any moment everything would be ripped away from him. this can be seen in how secretive he was, how much of his history is hidden away. the mech used to win the war against the overlord was sealed away where it could never be found. he granted elemental powers to select people to help keep him safe. even in his death, he hid away, in a place that even wu could not find.

this paranoia carries on through his sons. he taught them both to fight, to protect themselves, when they were also very young. one of the earliest moments we see of them is them fighting with swords! and though he loves them, they are not immune to his secrecy, or his fears. when they steal the scrolls and enter the serpentine territory, he never fully trusts them again. when garmadon gets bitten and starts to turn to evil, he's desperate to cure him. and i don't fully believe that the FSM intended to make garmadon feel broken or "wrong"... just that his fear has so consumed him at this point that he can't see the damage he's doing to his children.

it's also worth noting that despite garmadon's corruption, the FSM never truly hated him. he was left to protect the golden weapons alongside wu, he recieved the same protective enchanted gi, and was left the same clues to find him after his death. it's just that garmadon was unable to see this through the corruption (which is another post).

perhaps all he did was to protect his sons. that seems to be how wu sees it, at least. because wu repeats this same behaviour with the ninja, even if unintentionally. he brings these kids into a war because that happened to him, and his father before him. maybe he doesn't even realise it's wrong. he hides things from them not only because because he's ashamed of his past (again, another post lol), but because his father always hid things from him. it protects wu, but it also protects the ninja.

i don't believe the FSM was a flawless person. hes one of many grey characters in ninjago, and to boil down everything he did to "good" or "bad" is a disservice. maybe you see him as someone who only ever ran from problems instead of truly solving them, maybe you see him as a cruel and neglectful father. and maybe those are both true. but he's also someone who always tried to fight for peace, for himself and everyone in ninjago, and someone who truly loved his sons, despite the damage he did to them both.

so that's who i think the FSM was. an immortal, all powerful godlike being, yes, but also a scared child who just wanted to live peacefully, and would do anything to prevent another war. and maybe he is, in some way, indirectly responsible for every bad thing in the show, but i think this is more of an after-effect of the countless wars and conflict. he did the best he could, and considering all he went through, i think he did alright.

[haruniki]

Asa often thinks negatively about herself, even if she doesn't realize it. Either how her hair falls in such a bad way or the slight crookedness of her teeth, even how everyone around her seems to slip through her grasp. But meeting you was the best thing to happen to her and she isn't sure how to keep you in her grip. How you fingers treaded through her hair, reassuring her that she's wonderful and that she should be happy. But Asa knows it won't last, the nagging voice of the war devil isn't going to leave her alone until she has you.

[wundrousarts]

Morrigan's Dream

In Chapter 29 of Hollowpox, Morrigan wakes up from a dream:

Morrigan woke the next morning with a start, her heart racing. She’d been dreaming of something strange and awful—broken glass and plumes of black smoke and a distant cry in the dark. Two button-black eyes shining at her from the shadows. A snatch of song she couldn’t quite remember. A feeling of something precious, slipping through her fingers.

There are two prevailing theories on what this dream could mean.

It's related to what happened with Morrigan's mom

It's related to the Courage Square Massacre

I think there's equal evidence for both, I'm going to tackle this from the Courage Square angle and then the mom angle, because why not. Both are very plausible.

Let's take it step by step.

Possible meaning if it's related to the Courage Square Massacre:

broken glass and plumes of black smoke and a distant cry in the dark

Whatever this is, this is clearly a scene of destruction. The broken glass bit is pretty straightforward. The black smoke could be from fires, or it could be from some Squall creations, like the Hunt of Smoke and Shadow or his "army of monsters." The distant cry is also fairly self-explanatory, and could be people crying out as they're killed, or outrage at the betrayal.

Two button-black eyes shining at her from the shadows.

Squall. That's it. Who else has been explicitly stated to have the same "button-black eyes" eyes as Morrigan?

A snatch of song she couldn’t quite remember.

This could be a Wunder-summoning song. From who, is the question– by Squall, or someone opposing him?

A feeling of something precious, slipping through her fingers.

Life and it fading (or also possibly Wunder as well, but also in the context of dying).

Possible meaning if it's related to Mog's mom:

broken glass and plumes of black smoke and a distant cry in the dark

Again, a scene of destruction, with the same possibilities as mentioned above.

Two button-black eyes shining at her from the shadows.

Still likely to be Squall's eyes because of the "shining from the shadows" bit, but I do wonder if Mog gets her eyes from her mom, or if the black eyes are a uniquely Wundersmith thing.

A snatch of song she couldn’t quite remember.

The classic trope of a mother singing a lullaby that the child barely remembers. Maybe, if Squall is here, this is connected to how he recognizes Mog's Nocturne song? (I think that's at least partially due to it sounding like his song, but that's a theory for another post.)

A feeling of something precious, slipping through her fingers.

Mog losing her mom or her mom losing Mog. Or, again, just an abstract way to talk about death/life leaving someone.

Surrounding context in Hollowpox

I think it's interesting to note when in the story this moment takes place. It takes place immediately after people are chanting at Mog once they've found out that she's a Wundersmith, and immediately before Mog wakes up with her Inferno imprint. I feel like, regardless, it's related to her being a Wundersmith.

So, perhaps it's a memory of the Courage Square Massacre, passed down from those who came before her? If this is the route, perhaps she'll uncover more to the moment as she masters more Arts.

Or perhaps it's a memory of what happened to Mog's mom? If this is the route, perhaps it's an early manifestation of Mog's powers. Additionally, though, it raises the question: was Squall there, and if so, why?

[fxckin-blackbeard]

ᒥ💀ᒧ—         Starter Call! Drunk Edward (S1) and Mun!

Like this post if you want a starter with a drunk Edward from Season One! Mun will also be drinking, so if there are typos, that is why.

[painted-fanbird]

Thinking about the Inkworld trilogy and Mistborn Era 1, and how they handled books 2 and 3 and why I like the Inkworld better lol

Why compare them? Because Inkheart was the last series I read before Mistborn, and I adored it, but more relevantly they’re formatted similarly. both trilogies have first books that function as standalones, followed by two connected sequels turning them into trilogies

The actual analysis is under the cut both because of massive spoilers for both series, and because this is long and I’m not about to be clogging up your dashboard lol

I adored The Final Empire (book 1), but Well of Ascension (book 2) and The Hero of Ages (book 3) were both major misses for me. Though I didn’t love tWoA, I did find it generally fine. tHoA on the other hand I actively dislike. Contrasted to the Inkworld trilogy, where Inkspell (book 2) is actually my favorite! With Inkdeath (book 3) as my second favorite. Inkheart (book 1) comes in third, but I still love that book. The other two just speak to me XD

Inkspell expands on the loose ends left in Inkheart very naturally, and I love that! Inkspell opens with Dustfinger returning home, which works perfectly since he just vanished into the night at the end of Inkheart with Farid. It additionally sets up Orpheus, and once we’re in the Inkworld we meet up with the rest of our loose ends! Basta and The Magpie. Additionally, Inkspell has the advantage of the Inkworld being generally unknown to us the reader. Cornelia Funke has basically free rein to do what she wants as long as she doesn’t violate the whimsical, magical vibe she’s already established in Inkheart. Which she does not, and Dustfinger’s initial return to his world is literally my favorite scene in the whole book <3

tWoA, by contrast, doesn’t really do this imo. The biggest loose ends we’re left with in TFE are allomancy as a whole, the missing atium, and low key OreSeur specifically. tWoA chooses to focus on literally none of this in depth, instead focusing on the government and the Siege of Luthadel. Which is logical, obviously rebellion take overs will have some kinks they need to iron out, but it doesn’t pay any serious mind to what TFE set up and I find that to be a let down. We get a little bit of Allomancy exploration in Duralumin, but that’s it. The atium is relevant exclusively because the invading armies think Luthadel has it, but there’s no anything about it outside of that. OreSeur is just straight up dead! Though I did love Vin and TenSoon, that was my favorite part of the whole book <3

tWoA also squanders one of the things I adored about TFE, the character dynamics. The whole crew was so fun, and it was such a delight to see interact with each other and Vin. In tWoA they’re barely even there! Dockson, Kelsier’s best friend, has literally three scenes in the entire book. He dies in the third one. Clubs? Also has like three scenes, including where he dies. Ham is marginally more present, but Spook is only in like two scenes himself. We see the most of Sazed, which is cool because I like him <3 Instead of focusing on the crew, tWoA introduces new characters! Which are… hit or miss. Tindwyl and TenSoon and Allrianne my beloved <3 Then there’s Zane. Whom I can only describe as a Gary Stu and frankly I want to pick Sanderson’s brain and find out what the hell he was thinking when he made Zane because by all accounts he makes no sense lol

Inkspell and Inkdeath however, introduce new side characters without usurping the focus on the main cast. This is admittedly helped by Inkheart having a smaller cast in general XD But Dustfinger, Mo, Farid, Fenoglio, Resa, and Meggie if you squint (her squandered potential is another post lol) all remain major players, and continue to interact with each other like the did in book one. It’s great <3

tHoA is where things get particularly dicey for me lol. In tone and in plot. I just found it to be depressing, boring, and I do not like Ruin and Preservation. I don’t generally enjoy plots on a cosmic, god fighting scale to begin with, and I actively hate twist, “it was him all along!” villains. I find them to be boring, and feel that they remove agency from the villains prior to them. Also, I think they were set up poorly. If you removed them from the plot, literally nothing changes with TFE, and very little would change in tWoA. Not ideal for a villain you’re about to claim was here the whole time.

This book also continues the trend of no one talking to each other by scattering our protagonists to the four winds! Vin literally only talks to Elend, and maybe Ham once this book. Spook is in Urteau with Sazed, Breeze, and Allrianne, and his message never makes it to her. They literally don’t talk once and that’s a damn shame considering what they could have had. Tonally it’s just death and distraction all the way through, and that’s just,, blegh. No thanks.

Also everyone is so grim faced and boring, I hate this version of Elend, there’s no sass, no bite to him anymore. Just a grim and dutiful general who insists he’s struggles with doing hard things but then does them anyway. I also hate that his character arc goes unfulfilled! My man spends the entire book being worried about his inability to keep people safe, then he gets beheaded after watching an entire squad of soldiers get slaughtered by koloss. Like sure he saved the world but uhhhh yeah that’s not a satisfying conclusion. (Elend as a character was actually just generally not utilized well by the narrative imo. Raise your hand if you remember that this man was forced to sleep with a skaa girl at 13 years old she avoided romance because of it!)

Vin is also kind of boring, which is deeply upsetting because she was a fav in TFE and tWoA. She’s just so,, grim. And nothing else. It sucks. Also I don’t think her arc was done well here either. I love the idea of her finally coming to terms with the two parts of herself, but it felt forced! Vin spends basically no time as Valette after book 1, so it feels dragged out. We did not have to wait to book 3 to resolve this, we could’ve sorted this our way earlier lol

Also the whole thing with Sazed and the prophecy is just,, wut? I’m not a fan of the implication that Sazed is less of a man because he’s been castrated, and since I just generally don’t like Ruin and Preservation in general turning Sazed into god is just not where it’s at for me. It felt bizarre and out of place tbh

Inkdeath, on the other hand, does not have these issues. It’s villain, The Adderhead, was firmly established and was also the primary villain of book 2. He is not a god. He’s a king who was seeking immortality and was kind of foiled. A man, at his core lol. Tonally it is pretty grim at the beginning, but when Dustfinger is brought back, about 1/3 of the way through, the plot takes a notable hopeful upswing. Things aren’t easy, but they’re looking better now <3

I’ll also be the first to admit that Inkdeath’s clear cut happy ending is my preferred story ending lol, which is absolutely major points in its favor XD

I also think Inkdeath handles its characters well. Meggie and Farid do kind of end up on the side, but Mo, Dustfinger, and Resa all really shine. This opinion is helped by the fact that Mo and Dustfinger are my favorites, but I think it holds merit outside of that. They’ve been primary characters since book 1, are continuing to participate in the main plot together, and I find their arcs to be constant and wrapped up very nicely <3

TL;DR: I think tWoA and tHoA squandered their potential by introducing new plot threads instead of focusing on established loose ends, and committing several character assassinations by book 3. Inkspell and Inkheart did not do this, they followed up on their loose ends directly, kept the focus on the characters introduced in book 1, and did not go suddenly off the rails in the climax, instead ending with my preferred traditional fairy tale ending <3

[aro-aizawa]

@ ppl who follow my writing: please know that i v much want to write and post stuff i just don't have the brain power to sit down and do it. recently changed my meds slightly and a few other things and now i am exhausted like,,, all the time. in the mean time just curious but:

[mysacredmuse]

more about loser in love Aventurine <3 (hopefully this is more articulated, last thing I wrote was literally a 2 minute brainstorm with no coherency lol), kinda a mix of pre-relationship and loser in love bf Aventurine :3 of course, this is all lovingly and lighthearted :)

let me know if you'd like more or share your own thoughts! also, I want to write a bit about soft bf! Aventurine, biting my hands so hard not to do it here because . . . thoughts are too loud

dividers by @/cafekitsune :)

Panics with no filter as soon as you are out of his sight. You could be walking down the street together when suddenly something catches your attention making you quickly run away from him. Aventurine will literally freeze for a moment, anxious eyes looking for you as the only thing that slips past his lips is "where are you? where did you go?" as he turns his head around hoping for the best. As he finally spots you, a huge sigh of relief leaves his body. He would scold you with such seriousness, how dare you leave him behind without a word? He isn't a babysitter to watch your every move, so try and behave!

As soon as you reply to him, explaining that you don't need a babysitter, fully capable of taking care of yourself and that he is just an overreacting drama king...he just gasps. How dare you ruin his only method of making himself seem semi-normal? Anyhow, he ignores your rationality and the fact you are not dependent on him in a way that he is on you, in the process making a new decision - as this happens...a lot, he decides to use it as an oppprtunity and a lame excuse for you to hold his hand every time you go out together.

He tries to act like it's not a big deal, but internally he is all over the place as the two of you walk holding hands. (he will get teased for this years later)

He is also a needy for attention type of loser with no personal space who texts you all the time. When he isn't texting, he would call you anytime he can, which seems to be a lot. Even if there is nothing to have a conversation about, he is just asking the same questions...over and over again.

"so, what are you doing?"

"mhm, have you eaten?"

"how are you feeling?"

"mhm, is there anything new going on?"

"mm, sooooo, what are you doing?"

"that sounds fun! anyways, do you miss me?"

You can swear that he kicks his feet anytime you talk over the phone or text. But when you explain to him that you don't have to talk to each other all the time, he is slightly offended and sassy. What do you mean by that? Are you bored of him? Is he simply not worth your time anymore? Fine...he will stop doing it so much. . .for about 2 hours perhaps (his personal record! are you proud?) and then he will continue in his old ways.

Don't be mistaken, he does understand that you need your own time and if you put up a genuine boundary he will certainly respect it. It's just that when it's more playful and chill time, he uses it to the fullest because he is a needy man.

Bonus: Aventurine loves sending you videos that remind him of you or the two of you, especially those little cute animals videos where they cuddle, the little art videos and those adorable encouraging pics (definitely not a loser for this, just thought it was cute as hell)

Bonus 2: anytime you send him a picture of yourself, he puts it as his background. Replies "screaming crying throwing up, pls one chance pls pls pls", somehow you manage not to take it seriously which makes him even more desperately in love

Bonus 3: he saves your contact by some silly, yet cute nickname while adding 50388383 emojis and hearts (preferably the ones that are in your favorite color). He says it's a joke, but...but...well.

Desperate, pathetic, miserable, needy, so sickly in love, he absolutely NEEDS you. He can't take it.

Once you get more comfortable with each other, not even fully in a relationship, this man clings onto you like it's his last day alive. Wrapping his arms around your forearm, playing with your fingers if you are distracted, hugging you from behind anytime you stop walking (yes, even while waiting for a green light to cross the road), throwing his thigh over yours anytime you sit somewhere together, takes any chance to lay on your lap and begs you to play with his hair. He is the type of mess up something, get on his knees and hug your legs until you forgive him. He is also the type to do that...for no reason at all actually. Simply because he wants attention and he loves being close to you.

Anytime he has to go and do something by himself, you can tell how pissy he is afterwards. He walks up to you with an evident disappointment and annoyance on his face, quickly grabbing your hand as he mutters how idiotic it is to have to use the toilet. Let's not even mention when he needs to be by himself for longer periods of time.

Speaking of that, he would also question whether you missed him or not after 2 minutes of separation. You sure did? Hm, is that sarcasm? He doesn't care, he will take it as long as it confirms it. He just wants you to miss him and need him as much he misses and needs you.

Bonus (not really a loser): Now, in a relationship, Aventurine needs you to have eyes for him only as he does for you. Only him and nobody else. He wants you to want him, he needs you to need him and he must feel the desire and love you have for him. He mentions multiple times, you can do whatever you want with him however you want, if you wish to use him as a plaything for a while - he is perfectly okay with that, but the one rule he has is to be your only plaything. His desperation comes cute in certain departments, however...there is a lot of work awaiting in order to teach this man what is a healthy relationship.

He actually confesses his love for you properly when he gets sick. A mild cold, slight fever - should be gone in a few days, if not less. But no! He is certain that this is the end. Immediately sends you tons of panicky messages how you need to come see him immediately. So you do, first time taking him quite seriously.

Only to be met with his red stuffy nose twitching as he tries not to sneeze in the middle of his confession. He is so serious and determined that it makes a laugh stuck in your throat as he slowly explains himself, barely able to take deep breaths, not even looking at you. Talking about all the memories, the feelings, the thoughts he ever had with or about you.

"The only thing that I regret is that I am doing this too late."

He is so melodramatic, coughing loudly afterwards as he finishes up his actually heartwarming confession.

You can't help but giggle at the man in front of you, gently urging him to lay down, not exactly replying to his confession yet, but only mentioning how you will make him some soup and tea. He just nods, a bit exhausted from the all-nighter he pulled to come up with his excellent (miserable) confession. Next thing you know, he is fast asleep, hand mindlessly reaching for yours and as soon as he finds it - he brings it to his chest, almost hugging it. Moments like these are very special to you as he becomes more vulnerable and more himself. He will certainly get your own confession as soon as he gets better and least to say, you are the one to make the full first move since he is just...in shock the whole time. But, that's something to unpack some other time.

[oliviajdjarin]

Din Djarin: A Lucky Shot

Pairing: Din Djarin x female!reader (she/her)

Excerpt: “You felt your hands beginning to shake in unwanted frustration. His breaths continued to stay labored as he slouched over himself, pressing his palm against his bleeding side.

‘What happened?’ you spat.

He breathed deeply once. Twice. The strain in his lungs made your anger waver just so. ‘A lucky shot.’

‘“A lucky shot,”’ you mimicked, lowering your voice to mock him. “I never get tired of your understatements.’

Warnings: rusty Razor Crest and mando’a talk, bleeding, swearing, descriptive wound care (stitching) (probably incorrect I am definitely not a nurse lol), heavy needle talk, Din fainting, reader panicking and screaming and crying, major panic attack, she kind of accepts his death for a second, softness, comfort, allusions to kissing and sex.

A/N: I am sorry for not sticking to my username for the past few months. My mind has been a bit elsewhere, but the weather is getting colder, and that means that Din is getting closer. This was also in my drafts as “Din wound cleaning sobbing” so hopefully this is coherent. I love you all dearly. Thank you for allowing me to do what I love :)

A/N 2: Mando season three trailer…Din girlies are you okay because I’m not.

If you’d like to leave a like, comment, reblog, or any other form of support, it would be much appreciated <3

Pedro Masterlist

(gif not mine credit to owner!!)

You felt his blood before you smelt it—the heat of it, not the stickiness. It pressed against your palm and sunk your stomach down to the floor.

“Din?” you whispered.

“Just—” he started, pushing past you. “I just need to sit.

You would have slapped him—should have slapped him—but his beskar would have hurt you more than him.

“Need to sit?” you questioned, anger underlining your tone.

“Yes,” he shot back, and you huffed in annoyance, closing the Crest’s hanger-doors with a press of a button.

You knew something was off the second his speeder-bike came into view. His normally straight-shot driving began to serpentine ever-so-slightly on the Tatooine sand before he shook his head and straightened himself out. You’d never seen him do that before.

He then parked the rust-covered speeder, and winced as he dismounted. You could hear his grunts of pain in your mind, only hearing them faintly and rarely in your time on the Razor Crest.

You never expected to stay as long as you had, and you never expected to grow nauseous at the thought of leaving.

He began his walk over to you, holding his left hand gently over his stomach. You noticed a slight limp as well, but not the worst you had seen from him. Not by a long shot.

You watched and waited for him as he returned, just as you always did, but you could not help your eyebrows creasing in concern. The sand blew, blowing him off his course, and he stumbled over his feet, visibly wincing once again. You squeezed the sides of the doorframe and leaned forward, as if you could catch him from this distance, but he carried on. With every step he took, your anger rose higher and higher, based purely on your fears of him never returning, or only returning long enough for you to watch him fade away into the afterlife.

You just wished he wasn’t so kriffing good at faking being okay. He was like that from the moment you met him.

“A partner?” you questioned. “You’re kidding me, Karga.”

The leader of the Bounty Hunters' Guild rolled his eyes and chuckled in response, leaning further back in his Cantina chair. “I am not having my best profit killed off by mercenaries. You know their violence better than anyone. You need someone on your six.”

He wasn’t wrong. You had dealt with this group before, and the fob he had given you was no easy shot. But you had handled it before.

“So you just don’t want your cut of my profits disappearing, huh? No concern for me?”

“None at all,” he said with a glint in his eye and a tone slicked with sarcasm. That was the closest to an “I care about you” you’d ever get from him.

“Besides, it’ll make this job a much lighter load,” he said, and you took a sip of your drink as you analyzed the situation.

You were a flexible woman, if you did say so yourself, and Greef was making somewhat of an arguable point. Besides, it was only one job.

And you’d rather be caught dead than showing a weakness in a Cantina of all places.

“Alright,” you responded, setting the wooden mug back on the sticky table. “So where are they then? Where is my ‘partner?’”

And that’s when the Cantina went silent, because none other than the fucking Mandalorian walked in, wearing armor worth more than you’d ever see in your life.

You couldn’t help your mouth dropping. Just a little.

You had heard of him—it was impossible to not, especially as an acclaimed member of the Guild—but you didn’t know he would look like…that. Broad shoulders, sinched waist, strong walk, large guns. Fuck.

The look of him only partially excused the fact that he had been taking his pick of the best pucks in Karga’s lot, therefore stealing the opportunity from you. Only partially.

But damn did he look good doing it.

He continued his walk forward, keeping his gaze locked on the general area you were sitting. Eyes bore into him as he walked, causing your heart to race for him.

You wondered if he enjoyed it—the stares, the looks. You wouldn’t find out until much later that he did not, and if you would have looked only a few inches down from his sculpted chest, you would have seen his hands squeezed so tightly it was stretching their leather coating. The tell-tale sign of his discomfort.

He made it to your booth—not bothering to hide his gaze burning a hole through your body—before turning towards Greef and saying, “I want my next job.” His deep voice sent a tingle down your spinal chord.

Greef proceeded to bounce his eyes between you and the Mandalorian’s tall frame, taking his sweet old time. You saw the flicker in his eyes the second the idea came to him, and he opened his arms towards you.

“Right on time,” he said to you, and nodded his head towards the Mandalorian. “Your partner.”

Your eyes widened, your body froze, and you have never left his side since.

Even as you watched his stubborn ass limp through the Tattooine sands, you would never go back on taking that job. Not for a million credits.

Well, maybe two million. And a guarantee he would always come home safe.

He made it to the end of the Crest’s entrance ramp, and you straightened up ever-so-slightly, eyebrows still creased together.

He began walking up the ramp, the old metal squeaking with every step, and you took the opportunity to search each and every visible inch of him for injuries. His armor was in tact, his weapons were unchanged, and the sides of his undershirt looked unstained. He kept his hand floating above his side though, and his breaths became more and more labored as he came closer and closer to you.

He was inches from you when you said his name delicately, trying not to let your anger show through in your tone. “Din? You okay?”

You’d never get over the taste of his name.

He sighed loudly, and you brought your hands to his solid chest when he finally reached you. His familiar scent of sweat and metal hit you instantly, and you felt the one spot your eyes couldn’t see from far away, a space of revealed undershirt just underneath chest piece. His weak spot.

That’s when you felt it—the heat of blood against the pads of your fingers, and he proceeded to storm past you. He stumbled over to and sat on a random storage container to steady himself as you closed the doors to the Crest, and you turned back around with your arms folded. You felt your hands beginning to shake in unwanted frustration. His breaths continued to stay labored as he slouched over himself, pressing his palm against his bleeding side.

“What happened?” you spat.

He breathed deeply once. Twice. The strain in his lungs made your anger waver just so. “A lucky shot.”

“‘A lucky shot,’” you mimicked, lowering your voice to mock him. “I never get tired of your understatements.”

He groaned in response. “I’m fine. Just need some—” he winced as he spoke. “Just need some help.”

You nodded and walked over to your First Aid drawers, grinding your teeth, and crouched down in front of them, muscle memory carrying you through where each piece of equipment was whilst your mind traveled elsewhere.

“You said this would be a quick one,” you spat.

“It should have been,” he replied.

“Yeah, you should have been back two days ago.”

“Says you, of all people,” he countered. “Last time you were gone an extra week.”

You exhaled through your nose. “I told you it would take longer. That’s the difference between us Din, I communicate. I actually use our kriffing comm links.”

You grabbed one last roll of gauze and shut the drawer forcefully, more forcefully than you initially intended, and stood up to turn to him.

“I couldn’t risk them tracing our location,” Din said in reply. His counters to your comments were knocking the wind out of him. “You know that.”

“Yeah,” you began, walking to the fresher to fill a bucket of water. “I do know that. But I also know that I’d rather be put at risk by knowing you’re alive than thinking you’re dead for two days straight.”

He went silent at this, and you ran the faucet over the bucket, filling it up to the brim. This awkward silence was what the air in the Crest was always filled with for the first month or two you had taken him up on his offer to join him. Before the two of you had become…whatever the hell you were.

Despite your tone, you valued bickering and arguing like this more than you could even describe. It meant the two of you had progressed past the stage he was in with everyone else in the galaxy—cold, calculating, silent. With you, he could show his underbelly, he could call you out on your shit, he could show you his weak spot, and he could let enough of his personality show to match your wit with his own.

And, most importantly, it meant that he was alive.

Your Mandalorian was still alive.

You closed your eyes and let this thought coat your insides, filling you with relief instead of anger. You exhaled and turned off the sink, lifting the bucket from the hollow metal. Your rage turned to elation at the fact that he was still breathing, and your focus switched to making sure he stayed that way.

“I’m sorry Din,” you said, and held the bucket with one arm while turning off the fresher light with the other. “You just always manage to scare the shit out of—”

You were cut off by a thump. A loud thump, metal bouncing off metal, and your blood turned to ice.

“Din?” you questioned, pupils dilating as you felt the first drops of panic begin to drip into your stomach. You turned out of the fresher, only to find his body splayed on the Crest floor. Chest unmoving.

The bucket and First Aid dropped from your hands, coating the entirety of your pants and the floor in water, and you ran to him, falling to your knees at his side.

“Din!” you yelled, feeling where his undershirt was now soaked with blood. Its normally dark brown was now crimson red across the entirety of his stomach, and he was out cold.

“No no no Din,” you said, shaking his body with as much strength as you could. “Din!”

Your voice cracked with desperation, more than you had let out in years, but he remained limp as you rocked his body back and forth. You brought your hands to your head, as if that would keep you from crumbling.

“No, no,” you whispered, throat catching on a sob. “What do I—what do I do?”

You were no medic. The only training you had was from experience—stitching your own cuts, cauterizing your own wounds, and doing the same to him—but nothing to this degree. This much blood.

“What do I do!” you whispered firmly, defeatedly. You began shaking him again. “You’re supposed to tell me what to do!”

Tears dripped into your mouth as you stared at his frame. You felt blind without his help—trapped. How did you function before him? Before that deep voice coached you through life in such a way that made you feel seen, not lectured. You wanted nothing more than to just hear his voice through his modulator, maybe a chuckle if you were lucky.

Get up, he would say to you. Get up cyar’ika, you can do this.

Bits of your nerve began to return to you and you forced yourself to breathe. You swallowed grimly, licked your lips, and took a deep breath.

You couldn’t afford to panic. You were a kriffing bounty hunter, and a good one at that. You could do this.

Get up.

And you did. On shaking legs you stood, feeling the blood drop from your head, filling it with lightness.

Hurry mesh’la. Hurry, he would say, and you did.

You gathered the materials as quickly as you could, salvaging the small amount of water left in the bucket, and you returned to him. Tears continued to fall and your throat continued to close, but you were doing it. You were moving.

Good. Just keep breathing.

You took a breath as you kneeled beside him, still moving swiftly.

Now take the armor off, you imagined him saying, but you hesitated. You’ve seen more than enough of me.

This was true. You had cauterized wounds on his shoulders and lower back before, but never on his front. Your heart picked up at the thought of his potentially muscled body, but you stayed focused.

With another deep breath you reached forward and popped his chest piece off, setting it delicately to the side of him. You did the same with his arm pieces, moving quicker and quicker as you went, before finally sliding off his cape and removing his belt. While you remained rushed, you set the beskar down gently, knowing their meaning to him.

You had him down to his undershirt, and the mix of sweat and blood hit you. The crimson had stretched from his lower stomach up to his middle. You threatened to break again, but with the armor removed, a delicate rise and fall of his chest was visible. You let out a cry of relief.

Unzip me now. We don’t have all day.

You brought your trembling hands to the zipper of his undershirt and slowly pulled it down. Once it reached the end you pulled the material down to lay on his waist. You were forced to peel the soaked material off of his stomach and arms, and the vibrant red began staining your hands.

His normally bronzed and scarred skin was coated with red…so much red. You couldn’t lose your nerve. Not now.

The cut in his stomach was deep, deep enough that stitching was a definite. His lungs continuing to fill with air kept you focus, as well as his ever-present voice in your head.

You won’t hurt me cyar’ika, you could never.

Picking the needle and thread from the First Aid, you threaded the eye as quick as you could with your trembling fingers, and leaned over his hot body to begin stitching. Despite the wound, the blood, and the smell, it was still Din you were seeing bare. You didn’t know how he still managed to make it all beautiful.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, lining up the needle. Tears spilled into your mouth. “I’m sorry.” And you began to stitch.

It was not for the faint of heart—watching the thin point work itself in and out and in and out of his skin, pulling the pieces together tightly to ensure they stayed. The cut was clean, yes, but its depth caused for lots of tugging. A part of you was thankful he had fallen under, while the rest of you begged for his return.

You checked his pulse and his breathing routinely as you worked, stitching faster than you had ever done in your life.

I’m still here. I’m not leaving.

“Please,” you whispered. “Please Din.”

With one final loop through, the stitching was complete. You snipped the thread away from his skin and removed your hands from his body. His blood stained your skin all the way to your wrists, but you didn’t care. He wasn’t bleeding anymore. It was done.

You began to get feeling back in your body. You felt the stain of sweat on your back, the cramping in your knees from leaning over him, and a mix of sweat, tears, and snot covering your face. Your panic was starting to bridge its way into exhaustion.

You did it cyar. The hard part’s over. Just need cleaned.

You exhaled and placed your hands on your knees before getting up to quickly rinse off your hands. You then rushed back to him and dunked an extra rag into the bucket of water. You dragged it around his wound carefully, and watched his freckles and scars begin to appear on his skin.

It wasn’t perfect, but he was cleaned, dried, and stitched as best as you could have possibly done. All he needed to do was wake up.

You bit your lip and checked his pulse again, and the pillar of hope that had been unconsciously built inside you crumbled.

It was barely there. His pulse was barely there.

You were too late. Too slow. Too weak.

“No.” You began shaking your head, pressing down firmly onto his smooth neck, as if that would fix it.

“You can’t…not now,” you whined. “Not now. Please not now Din please.”

You would die with him. He would take every part of you when he left, and not leave anything behind.

“Din!” you screamed, shaking him again. “Come on please! Please Din—”

You were cut off by your own sobs.

“You’re—you’re my partner Din I need you,” you cried. “You’re my partner please don’t go. Please don’t leave Din please I tried.”

You rested your head above his wound, practically throwing yourself across him. “I tried.”

The damn had broken. You sobbed endlessly, imagining the life that could have been if you had just moved a little bit fucking faster. His skin was warm against you, but you knew it would eventually run cold, signifying that Din had truly left this life and moved onto the next.

You regretted the last words he heard from you. You wished they were the three words that had been stuck on the tip of your tongue for weeks, but they weren’t.

You were a coward, and now he’d never hear them.

“Please Din.” You could barely whisper. Your body was racked with only agony, and you kept your face embedded into his skin. Your tears slid off his soft skin, and your aching heart pounded relentlessly in your temples. “Please come back to me. I’m so sorry.”

Cyar, I’m right here.

“No,” you whispered, knowing that voice was only in your head. You never wanted to hear it again. You didn’t deserve to. “I’m so sorry. I failed. I failed—”

Cyar, hey—

“—you, I failed you.”

Hey.

A leathered hand cupped your cheek, and you realized that it wasn’t your heart pounding in your head—it was his.

Your neck snapped up, tears continuing to drip down your neck, but his neck was propped up, looking at you.

Looking at you.

“Din!” you yelled, and wrapped your arms around him.

He chuckled and held you close, letting you tuck your chin into his bristly neck. His arms—bare arms—wrapped around you was something you never thought you would ever feel. You only cried harder.

“I’m alright,” he whispered. “It’s okay.” That familiar tingle stretched up your back.

You couldn’t help the tears. Shock and panic were still hitting you, but waves of relief crashed overtop of them, bringing you back down. To this moment. To Din holding you close.

You breathed in his scent as your cries slowed to a stop, and you laid with him. Listening to his heartbeat sink up with yours.

“Didn’t mean to scare you mesh’la,” he whispered with a chuckle, and you laughed almost manically.

“You nearly killed me Din Djarin,” you replied, still laughing.

“Y/N,” he said, and moved your face away from his neck. He framed it with his hands and brushed your tears away from your cheeks. “You’re my partner too, and I’m not going anywhere.”

He took a breath, as if his words were getting caught in his throat. “I—I need you too.”

Your lip quivered and you nodded to him. You knew what he meant.

“You did not fail me,” he said. “You saved me. Thank you.”

You exhaled. “You’re welcome.”

He then brought your forehead to his own, and the stream of tears in your eyes opened up again.

This time, however, it was from happiness. Pure elation. Because you knew what he was doing.

Chills erupted along your back at the feeling of the cold metal against your burning forehead, and you rubbed your nose back and forth against it, invoking another chuckle from him.

He kissed you. Din Djarin had just kissed you, and one day, you hoped to return the favor.

“You need ice,” you whispered against him. “And bacta. And sleep.”

He nodded against you, and you pecked the crown of his forehead. You then brought your mouth down to his neck and kissed his pulse, and the slight groan he let out was anything but pain. It was muffled enough to show that he attempted to hide it, but was unsuccessful. His large hands squeezed your hips, and you smiled against his skin, smelling purely Din. No blood.

“I’ll be right back,” you whispered, and kissed him again before standing and walking to the basement of the Crest. You rubbed your nose and sniffled, still tasting his sweat and skin on your mouth.

Those three words would come. Until then, this was enough.

Translations:

Mesh’la— beautiful

Cyar’ika— beloved

Cyar— beloved

Tag list: (I apologize if you are not tagged/your tag is not working. Please let me know if you’d like to be added!)

@leahkenobi @cityofidek @burned-dorito @tiredbuthappy @punkiwiki @lovesbiggerthanpride @darth-voder @samanthacookieone @torchbearerkyle @stardust-galaxies @c4psicles-blog @joelsflannel @mysun-n-stars @tateelii @kirsteng42 @leithatnight @arson-tm @l0calgoth @thesmutslut @alastorhazbin @grincheveryday @martinsmomo @letaliabane @cathenan @big-ol-boat @niiight-dreamerr @jezebel1945 @call-me-doll-face @yelyahcardella @letskeepthislo-ki @misspearly1 @petals-opento-the-moon @just-a-sewer-goblin @em---r

[delusionally-loveless-by-choice]

Lost in a Cornfield..? Pt. 3

Scarecrow!Phillip Graves x Lost!Reader

summary: Terror fills you as you wonder what's next.. what is he going to do?

warnings: descriptions of like skin stuff (not too bad imo?? still warning), he lowkey a freak as in a sadist, screaming crying and general fear concepts, he dark but no super overall descriptions of it, nothin really happens sorry lol

w/c; 1k

Part 1, Part 2

Author's note: Midterms were ass, anyway here's part 3 hope it isn't a total flop. it's short but I hope to make part 4 soon the final part and a bit longer than this (hopefully).

The foul stench hung in the room. 

It was a salty, iron-like pungent odor. 

Much like sweat and blood. 

But there was no blood here, it was all long dried.

You inhale a large breath of the warm air. 

The oxygen hits your brain and--What the actual fuck--your head is reeling with the sudden reality. 

You feel the tears start to drop and they fall steadily as the feeling of dread fills your senses.

The room. The skin. Him. The Scarecrow

It’s almost like he can hear your thoughts, but it’s more likely he’s seen the same reaction you're countless times. 

He’s seen it on the poor souls that were unlucky enough to see the very room you were seeing now. 

However, they were soon added to the collection in the room.

“Don’t ya like it, darlin’?” he asks mockingly.

He hasn’t moved from his spot at the door. Instead he’s relishing in the moment. 

Drinking up your reaction; every breath, every hitch in your throat, every cry, every tear that seeps from you.

But you stand rooted to your spot in the middle of the room. Too scared to move. Too scared to speak.

Finally words don’t fail you, and something coherent is able to form out of your quivering lips, “What’s going on…” a sob interrupts you, and stupidly you continue in order to ask, “what is this..”

The only response he gives you is an amused drag of his white teeth on his bottom lip before he gives you that same charming and alluring grin.

“Scarecrow.. Please…” you sobbed out.

Hot tears streamed down your face. 

Almost seeming never ending; a beautiful river that showcases your fear and desperation. 

He loved every second of it. 

His grin never falters, you aren’t even sure if he can feel any human feeling but if he could, you’re sure he’d feel something akin to a wild childish glee. His glowing eyes burning in the low light being proof of how much he was enjoying this.

"‘What's going on’, hmm?" He echos your question, his tone was almost playful. 

“Oh, c’mon, sugar. Ya don’t really need me to spell it out for ya’, right?” He chuckles out dripping with condescension. 

His words make a loud cry escape from you.

A sob wracks through you as you slowly start to back up, the implication of his response makes your worst fears come true. 

You bump into something and stumble backwards, your hand instinctively reaching out to keep you from falling, all without looking away from the scarecrow. 

But upon touching the object, you rip your eyes away from him and to where your grip is. 

It’s a couch made of human skin. 

You can see the details of someone, what was them, probably what was their hand stitched with another unidentifiable pieces of skin that probably wasn’t theirs due to the different colors the patches were. Pieces of hair poked out from the inside. It was used for cushioning.

Shock makes your reaction delayed. But it doesn’t take a second longer for your scream to erupt. 

Tearing your hand and eyes from the couch, and back to the Scarecrow, you drop to the floor and crawl until your head and back harshly hit the wall.

You didn’t even want to think about how the wallpaper was also the remnants of people sewn together.

The only thing that spills from your lips are cries and begs, “No, no, no, no, no.. please.. don’t do this..”

He still stands at the threshold drinking up your delightful screams, sobs, and begs. With a deep breath he finally starts to walk toward you.

Every thump of his worn boots on the floor makes your heart jump and await the worse.

The fear makes you want to look away from his yellow eyes, but you can’t, and in return you see how his eyes never leave you. 

He slowly stalks closer, his beautiful smile gleaming horrifically. The corners of his smile making boyish dimples show and his eyes crinkle prettily. 

"What's the matter, doll?" His tone is the same sweet and southern honeyed voice he had first spoken to you with. 

The same voice that made you believe he was safe, the same voice that made you believe he was going to help you, the same one that made you trust him.

Finally he stands before you.

He kneels down to your level, his head tilting as he watches your horrified fearful face. 

You sit there paralyzed and you believe he's going to hurt you. 

When his hand reaches out to you, you shut your eyes and flinch, waiting for the worse. 

But instead, he wipes a tear away from your cheek. 

His touch is gentle. 

Still paralyzed with fear, your eyes open wide and though you feel fearful, you look at him.

“You look beautiful with tears runnin’ down your face.” He whispers just loud enough.

“Such a pretty lil’ thin’.'' His grin melts into a smile, it looks kind and sincere but the glint in his eyes warned you that there was still danger.

“Please don’t kill me..” you croaked out, “I thought you were going to help me.. please I didn’t.. i..” you sobbed harder.

“I’m scared..” you mustered between sobs as his hand wiped the rest of your tears.

“You should be,” he finally says and his warm breath fans on your face, “but I’m not gonna kill ya..”

“Pretty lil’ thin’ like you dead would be such a waste to put in ‘ere, plus ya aren’t a pest like the rest of ‘em.” His hand moves from your cheek to your head, running it through your hair, his fingers tangling between the strands.

“No… no, ya aren’t like them pests..” he mutters as he looks you over. 

You don’t know what to say. You don’t know what to do other than watch him with your terrified wide eyes.

His breathing seemed almost strained and he looked like he was restraining himself.

“No, you’re mine, sweetheart.” he shakily breathed out.

Author note: also i have the ending done.. I just have to tie it in with this. (fun fact; I originally didn't plan to keep the darktwist, I had him as actually really sweet and very wizard of oz esque. but this dark scarecrow graves grew on me bec yes he spooky :')

taglist; @itsyellow (added them cus they asked to b tagged also ily)

[m3r1m4r5u333]

(Jjsheh. This is perhaps my most unhinged essay yet, brace yourselves. I know it's not very coherent, I sound like I'm tripping, rambling about ancient Egyptian deities and all. I'm not the only one to have talked of rebirth though so hopefully I'm not alone in this mental collapse.)

I'm a wreck. It's just such BLATANT BUDDIE SUBTEXT to air THESE SCENES in the same episode!!!!

First, Eddie finding out Buck went on a date with a man and his stunned

"Omg I need to reconstruct my entire worldview. But I'm not weirded out!! I'm an ALLY!!"-deer in the headlights reaction to that!!

Finding out that both Buck and Tommy are into men will be such a curveball for Eddie, hitting him directly in the solar plexus, leaving him gasping.

The images that will start sprouting in his mind...

And the way that suddenly they're BOTH stumbling in this gigantic maze of confusion and questioning, looking at each other anew...

realising they need to reconstruct their entire worldviews because all of a sudden... They've been shattered.

The way that Buck looks at Eddie...?

The mirrored MASKS that both of these lines are!!

Starting to realise their worlds are in ashes.

Then rebirth.

Phoenix rising!!!

It's that treasure hunt riddle again.I've tried to figure it out and the way I read it, I think it's about feelings realization.

The "Narrow place" in the riddle sounds like an obvious arrow to Egypt. That's what the hebrew people called it or something, due to the divisional geography/the stories about them being enslaved there. Something like that.

And of course the river's edge in the riddle would then be The Nile. Denial.

And that heron? The ancient egyptian version of a Phoenix, Bennu. The deity of sun, creation, rebirth.

And what's a secret treasure by denial's edge? It's love. A secret treasure. Precious, yet something you want to hide. Hidden. Buried.

And the bullfrog is a reference to a line in a song, I think. "Jeremiah was a bullfrog".

Originally the line was supposed to be "Jeremiah was a prophet". The assistant in the episode, who was asked to hide the treasure... is called Jeremiah.

Jeremiah, the prophet, according to the Bible apparently traveled to Egypt himself.

But in the treasure hunt episode he steals the treasure and takes off to Maledives - an island without river's, btw!! No DeNial there!

Also... Another link to Egypt/Denial is the bullfrog croaking good measure.

"Ancient Egyptians used weights, like this small frog, to help calculate the value of goods. One Ancient Egyptian unit of measurement was the qedet, equivalent to about nine grams. "

"The Ancient Egyptians linked frogs to fertility and rebirth, likely because of the animal’s prolific reproduction.

These ties to abundance may have made frogs a suitable form for objects used to determine value."

Secret treasure, frogs, measurement, value, herons, narrow place = Egypt, the river's edge... (& My loss of sanity) Lots of links.

So let's see.

I walked along the river's Denial's edge

To hide my secret treasure love

The heron phoenix soared (= I burned, I was reborn.)

The gray bridge roared I saw you. (Because the bridge would be a reference to the "I see you!!" scene with Lola and Norman on that bridge, I think?)

And

"Isn't that what we all want in a partner, to be seen?"

I stopped beneath the willow tree

In the narrow place

And saw a light beam fall upon my treasured place hidden love

The light beam... It think it's truth? Realization, rebirth...

Btw, in the Bible Jeremiah writes about willow trees with much passion. It symbolizes hope, will grow by the river even in times of draught. So trust the Lord (the showmakers).

Also, this recent data of Marisol being nunlike?? What's "Nun" in relation to the Egypt theme?

Nun was represented as a frog or a frog-headed man (as a member of the Ogdoad) but could also be depicted as a bearded man with blue or green skin (reflecting his link with the river Nile and fertility).

In the latter form he can look fairly similar to Hapi (LOL), the god of the Nile, and often appears either standing on a solar boat or rising from the waters holding a palm frond (a symbol of long life), Occasionally, he appears as a hermaphrodite with pronounced breasts.

Nu ("Watery One") or Nun ("The Inert One") (Ancient Egyptian: nnw Nānaw; Coptic: Ⲛⲟⲩⲛ Noun), in ancient Egyptian religion, is the personification of the primordial watery abyss which existed at the time of creation and from which the creator sun god Ra arose.[1]

So let's watch the sun, rising from the denial!

[gffa]

Hi there! I’m someone who’s been following you for Star Wars for a while but I’ve become really interested in your DC comics posting recently, and I was wondering - since the franchise has been going for so long and has so many instalments - what you would say to someone who wants to start reading these comics/watching the shows/movies but doesn’t know where to start? Have a lot of the comics been retconned? Is there a particular order one has to read in? Where does one even find these comics…?

My interest in this franchise was literally sparked by the Jason Todd telephone poll so I’m definitely interested in reading more about him - he seems like a character I’d like - and the rest of like, the… Batfamily, I think they’re called? I just have no idea where to start lol - my knowledge of DC is limited to seeing bits of Teen Titans GO when I walked past my little brother watching TV, and watching the Lego Batman movie with him xD

Also! If I’m correct, after observing the fandom, Talia seems like an interesting, complex female character (with some bad writing), like Padmé or Bo-Katan? I always love those kinds of characters, just wondering if I’d got the right impression of her.

Hi! You've got a solid idea of things so far, so hopefully, this shouldn't be too hard of a climb to get used to the structure! And I'll do my best to explain the structure of comics without getting too lost in the weeds about it. 😂

INTRODUCTION AND OVERVIEW: In my view, comics aren't meant to be a single coherent whole and it's helpful to drop that idea before you get started because otherwise you'll drive yourself around the bend in a fruitless attempt to make everything line up neatly, when it just never will. There is no one single "true" version of the characters, there is no one single creator who is the highest authority on a character, no matter who created the character or even who is most famous for writing them, these are shared characters being written and drawn by a multitude of authors and artists who all have varying takes on them. The characters should stay true to a core personality and traits, but the flexibility of an author to write a character differently from the last person who wrote them is a feature not a bug imo. I like to think of comics as stories being told by different authors playing with action figures and we're in the audience enjoying these stories, regardless of how some authors fit really well together and others completely clash with each other. You can try to make them mesh (sometimes that's fun!) or you can just shrug your shoulders and pick what you like out of the pile of comics that have been handed to you (you'll probably drive yourself less over the edge this way!). Jason is particularly difficult on this aspect, because he often doesn't have a regular book to be written in and his overall place/point in the Batman comics is murky at best somedays and so he is wildly different from author to author. I personally enjoy this, because I think it works for Jason as a character who has some core beliefs, but also is kind of a mess who doesn't really know what he wants, so he veers wildly from one reaction to another. You can read comics in a variety of ways, but I genuinely do not recommend trying to read "in order" because it's a nightmare to try to keep track of everything once it's been a few years and the numbering of these series is the most confusing thing you'll ever meet. Instead, I think it's better to focus on picking up trades (collections of comics that originally came out in single issues, but are put together in a single volume that tells the whole story of that particular run) that sound interesting or come recommended. (And, honestly, it's not even satisfying even if you did do all the work to read them in order. Throw out the idea that comics have a coherent timeline, because they do NOT.)

CONTINUITIES AND DIFFERENT ERAS: The ONLY context I think you need (other than a general sense of the Batfam, we'll get there in a minute) is to understand that there are sort of four "continuities" that you're likely to run into, and this is EXTREMELY simplified/streamlined, so nerds don't come for me on this unless you have a better streamlined and simple version. 😂 - Anything published before 1985-1986 is all "Pre-Crisis" and while reading a lot of the older comics can be super fun, they're generally not super relevant to current comics - In 1985-1986, there was a comics event (an event is where multiple different comic books are all written to be part of a bigger storyline, whereas normally, they don't cross over that much, each book usually has its own self-contained storylines) called "Crisis on Infinite Earths" (which is different from "Infinite Crisis") that was basically a way for DC to streamline all the different versions of the characters running around into one manageable universe. This ran up until about 2011 and I'll often refer to it as the "preboot" or "post-Crisis" continuity. (This is where Jason's death happened, in the storyline "A Death in the Family".) - In 2011, DC wanted to reboot their entire universe with an event called "Flashpoint", with the purpose of creating an all new lineup of 52 comics that new readers could jump right into, which isn't a bad idea in theory. The problem was that people were really attached to the preboot versions of the characters, a lot of the Nu52 comics were really badly written, and there was almost no collaboration. You expect a certain amount of contradiction just by the nature of comics, but there were major issues with "nobody is talking to each other, so everything is a giant mess".

- In 2016, for a variety of reasons (probably including that sales for Nu52 had dipped back down pretty far again), DC rebooted their universe again, with "Rebirth", which is the continuity we're in now. I'm still catching up (I left when Nu52 happened) but I think a lot of preboot events are leaking back into the continuity, but that's not the same as saying it's equal to the preboot continuity in total. This is also the era that I generally talk about the most because I've found it genuinely the most engaging to get back into! Generally, as long as you understand those four eras of continuity, I think you'll be fine in understanding how things are put together. If you want to know where something falls, just check the date and that'll tell you! But, honestly, yeah, background details change all the time, so even within a single continuity there will be retcons--just that there are MASSIVE differences in the Nu52 era that might confuse you if you're unaware of the reboot shenanigans. (Or if you want to understand how Jason returned--like, preboot continuity has the explanation that Superboy Prime (don't ask) punched reality so hard that it shook Jason back to life, even if they never found out about it, that's what happened. I think Nu52 said Talia dug him up and put him in the Lazarus Pit? Don't quote me on that. I flamed out hard on Nu52. Rebirth continuity, they have no idea what the hell happened and I'm not sure there's an explanation. I just assume the Reality Punch leaked back in or something.)

SO, LIKE, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THESE CHARACTERS? AS SHORT AS I CAN MAKE IT: - Bruce Wayne witnesses his parents being murdered in front of him and this traumatizes him so badly that he withdraws from life to obsess over it, eventually travelling the world for several years to learn every kind of skill he can, until he comes back to Gotham at, like 22 years old or whatever and becomes Batman to fight crime. The only rails on this ride is his butler Alfred who basically raises him from the time he's eight and Alfred is working MIRACLES here, but there's only so much even he can do. He is absolutely Bruce's father figure, even if they rarely frame it in those terms, because Thomas Wayne (Bruce's father) is such an important figure in their lives and because Alfred is extremely British. - Bruce is Batman for a few years, usually depicted as being super grimdark because he's shut his heart against loving anyone ever again because the pain is too much. But then one night he's at a circus performance and there's a terrible "accident" where a little 9 year old boy (shhhh we ignore any other versions than that he was nine, dammit, it's important for the thematic parallels!) witnesses his world-class aerialists parents falling to their deaths. Dick Grayson's grief and loss spark something in Bruce and he takes on this grieving, angry, brilliant little boy as his ward. Now, not even God can stop Dick Grayson, who is going to get justice for his parents' murder, so eventually Bruce reveals that he's Batman and Dick basically barges his way into creating his sidekick persona, Robin. Bruce is not a fan of this, but seriously. He couldn't have stopped that kid, he tried. He could only put a leash on him. Dick brings light and joy back to Wayne Manor and they have the most fascinating relationship--they're father & son, they're brothers, they're best friends, they understand each other like no one else does, they fight like no one else in that family does, they love each other, they're so angry at each other, they're co-dependent and absolutely batshit about each other, they basically raise each other from the time Dick came to Wayne Manor. - Dick eventually grows up and starts clashing with Bruce more, especially as he gains his independence. Different versions happen differently in different continuities, but eventually it hits a boiling point and either Bruce fires him as Robin or Dick quits because he can't deal with this. He goes off to become Nightwing, while Bruce eventually meets another kid who (in the most common version) tries to steal the Batmobile's tires because he needs the money. Circumstances happen, Bruce eventually ends up adopting Jason Todd, who becomes the next Robin. Things are relatively stable for awhile, until Jason learns about his birth mother and runs off to try to reconnect with her, except the Joker's got his sticky fingers all up in this situation, and it results in Jason dying in the exploding building.

- Bruce is Not Doing Well after this, so in comes our favorite horrible little stalker gremlin Tim Drake, who hunts down Dick Grayson and says, hey, you gotta become Robin again because Batman's going to get himself killed if you don't. Dick is like, no, I fucking do not. Tim responds with, well, guess I gotta do it myself then and basically barges his way into being the next Robin. He bonds with Dick as a brother (who is far and way Tim's favorite, imo), he does his best to be as good of a Robin as he can be. - Things are better after that, they're fairly well into Batfamily territory by this point. Jason comes back and, originally, it was supposed to be a trick, it was a villain pretending to be him, but was later retconned to actually be Jason who came back and... it's complicated. I don't think they really knew what to do with him once he came back, so he kind of ping-pongs around with varying levels of villainy for awhile. - Then we get to the time around Batman R.I.P. where a lot of shit happens all at once, especially for Tim. Bruce dies fighting a Justice League villain, Tim also has his bio-dad die around this time, his relationship with his ex-girlfriend/good friend is kind of going to shit, the boy he's in love with (not canon at the time, but current day storylines basically confirm it was true) also died and it wrecked Tim, like he lost his MIND over Conner Kent's death, there's this annoying little shit Damian Wayne who has showed up as the bio-son of Bruce, and then suddenly Bruce also dies. And Dick has to become Batman because Gotham needs Batman and he's in mourning and dealing with Jason being back and everything OFF THE RAILS as various people are like, "No, I'M going to be Batman now!" and Dick has to shut all that shit down and take up the mantle himself despite that he doesn't want it AND deal with Damian being an emotionally traumatized 11 year old baby assassin who has been abused into being a killer his entire life (I mean, it's comics, don't take it too seriously) and he needs something to hold onto or he's going to leave and go back to killing, so Dick and Alfred give the Robin mantle to Damian, which pisses Tim off because he's not doing well and sees it as a betrayal (while Dick was asking for his help as an ally, that he was ready to graduate to being more than just Batman's sidekick) because he's lost so much. - So we have Dick & Damian as Batman & Robin (THIS ERA WAS SO GOOD), Tim as Red Robin (fandom way overplays Tim and Dick's tension, they come back together after their dramatic few months), and eventually they find Bruce who was lost in the time stream (don't ask) and then, WHAM, Nu52 happens. But basically, that's the Robins timeline. I'm skipping over Steph's turn as Robin because it was so short and it was clearly set up just to knock her down, as well as not touching on Cass much because this is long enough as it is and I'm trying to circle back to focusing on Jason-friendly stuff.

WHERE TO START: Ask a dozen different people where to start and you'll get a dozen different answers! I think starting anywhere is fine and it's going to depend on what you like--for example, I'm personally not that into the animated DC movies (not enough of my Blorbo) but "Batman: Under the Red Hood" is generally very well-regarded as an updated version of Jason's return and is nicely self-contained if you want to watch it without much other context. I also think watching the Justice League animated series from 2001 is fantastic if you want a funny, charismatic, streamlined adaptation of what the Justice League is like. (Batman: The Animated Series was groundbreaking at the time and a really good adaptation, but very dated by this point in time, so I hesitate to recommend it too much, even though it's beloved to me.) The Wayne Family Adventures is an absolutely adorable, delightful webtoon adaptation that is very light-hearted compared to the mainline comics! I like recommending it to new fans because I think it's super easy to start reading without too much extraneous context and gives you an idea of the characters' relationships to each other, so long as you understand that it is EXTREMELY soft and is much in the vein of LEGO Batman content--you're not supposed to take it super seriously, there are times it's deliberately crossing into something like parody territory, but that doesn't mean it's not genuinely funny, charming, and a great read. @fantastic-nonsense has an incredibly thorough list of recommendations for comics by character here, and you can scroll down to the Jason Todd section and start reading there! Or you can check out the "A STARTING POINT: BATMAN IN OTHER MEDIA" section because I pretty much 100% agree with everything she says about the various adaptations. I like recommending "Young Justice" as an introduction to DC, so long as you understand that it's a loose adaptation and that the team compositions and various relationships are not always going to be accurate to comics dynamics. I have my own comics recs tag, but I'm more Dick-focused, so your mileage is going to vary on how useful you might find my recs! But basically, you can't go wrong with starting with "A Death in the Family", then "Under the Red Hood" (movie then comics) and "Red Hood: The Lost Days". Basically, anything by Judd Winick has a good chance of being a solid read for him. It's hard to recommend Jason comics, because so many of them are either not great or require knowledge of the events that are going on around the same time--but, honestly, once you're familiar with the set-up, I do think you can pick up almost any trade and pick up context along the way. I personally also loved "Robins: Being Robin" series, because all five of the Robins working to solve a case together and being unhinged weirdos at each other is my jam. (But I like pretty much anything Tim Seely writes!) I also always recommend the 2016 Nightwing series because Dick is my Blorbo, but I also think "Robin & Batman" by Jeff Lemire is a fantastic story to understand who baby Dick Grayson is and his relationship with Bruce, and both "The Long Halloween" and "Dark Victory" are some of the best Batman comics I've ever read, but they can be tough to get through if you don't like Tim Sale's very stylized art.

WHERE TO FIND THESE THINGS TO READ? The movies and animated series should be on HBOMax and/or Netflix, and comics I always recommend hitting up your library to see what they have--so many libraries have a ton of comics available, especially digitally! And, if you have a library card, it's very possible that your library partners with Hoopla, where they have a ton of Batman comics! You can also check out DC Universe, which has almost all DC comics if you get a subscription.

TL;DR: If you want bigger context on how all this stuff works, start with either "Justice League" or "Young Justice", they're really cute, fun adaptations. If you want to get straight to the Jason stuff, start with "A Death in the Family" --> "Under the Red Hood" --> "Red Hood: The Lost Days" --> "Batman: Urban Legends vol. 1". (And, yeah, you have the right impression of Talia! She often gets written as a villain, but she's also often a lot more complex than that, it really depends on who you get to write her. The corner of fandom I hang out in is generally more generous to her, but some of the actual comics can be kind of rough. But she's complex and has a lot of sharp edges, so, you know, I love her, too. 😂)

[actual-changeling]

Since you have been the first 'Crowley deserves to have his boundaries' person I have seen in the tags on weeks. What do you think about the talk in the fandom on how Crowley should have accepted going to Heaven 'to do good and stop the Apocalypse' and that 'he also rejected Aziraphale'? It personally gives me the creeps because the narrative makes clear that Heaven is a big white nightmare but the fandom seems to be taking the 'Aziraphale might jot be perfect' thing hard and therefore Heaven is fixable now...

Glad to know I am not alone in my little boundaries corner! I'm always here for discussions about it.

And, oh boy, do I have thoughts on that, let's see if I can get them to be somewhat coherent.

I am going to start this off with a metaphor of sorts and hopefully people will be able to follow along. I'm an older sibling and have a little sister, and we grew up in an incredibly abusive and neglectful household.

When I graduated high school, I moved out for university, which was literally the best thing to ever happen to me - I got away, I was/am free! Now I have to deal with the consequences of all that shit though.

If my sister asked me to come back so I can help her fix our mother (entirely theoretical btw she'd never lol) would it be the right thing to say yes? Should I give up my personal freedom, my life, the healing process I am right in the middle of, to go back to a household that broke me? So I can be trapped with a person that will never change again?

The answer is, of course, no. I feel bad for my sister and I am praying she will be able o move out soon, but me going back would not solve a single fucking thing. See where I'm going with this yet?

Crowley left heaven and landed on earth, which was ultimately good for him, but he has a lot to process and heal from; he's right in the middle of his own recovery.

Heaven will not change, it cannot be changed. The entire institution is working as intended, and the intention is to be abusive, manipulative, and have as much power over everyone as possible. You cannot fix that, you need to get rid of it.

Aziraphale has good intentions, but he is also still trapped in that abusive household because he never moved out, he is the sibling that stayed behind, just mentally instead of physically.

Hot take, but many people in this fandom are incapable of understanding that "Aziraphale is acting based on good intentions and is still actively being abused/traumatized" and "Aziraphale did bad and unhealthy things and his relationship with Crowley was co-dependent and toxic" are co-existing. Both are true.

Both. are. true.

He did messed up shit out of a trauma response, but he is still responsible for his actions, and at the same time he deserves a chance to heal and move on from it. Please, at this point I am begging people to understand that this is not a black and white issue.

Crowley did not reject Aziraphale, if anything, Aziraphale rejected him.

Crowley said no to returning to an abusive environment for an impossible task. Crowley said no to sacrificing his mental and physical health for something that he knows will not happen. Crowley, for the first time in his life, set a clear and final boundary and put himself and his life over Aziraphale's wishes.

That is a good thing. It is necessary.

Season 3 will not be about Aziraphale fixing heaven or preventing the second coming (if anything it'll be accidental just like in season 1). It's going to be about him finding his way out of his abusive household and into a healthy environment in which they're both free and can heal.

Apart AND together.

It's not happily ever after, it's not perfect romance, it's not "soul-mates" or anything. It is messy, it is real, it is complicated, and I am so fucking tired of seeing it reduced to "love conquers all".