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#but i feel i should be doing more but also sleepy
stormblessed95 · 3 days
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Watching Are You Sure?! EP 7
A reminder of how I do these reaction posts as I watch things. I just write my reactions and thoughts down literally they happen. Think more of a bullet point format. I'll include links when I can to videos, thanks to the people who twt who upload clips. And at the end, I'll do a better wrap up of all my opinions. I hope everyone enjoyed the show so far!!
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Not this show starting off with a mistaken identity trip!! Lol Jimin saying that he only went snowboarding once before and it was with JK. And JK was so confused. You could see him searching the files in his brain lmfao. Jimin's oh wait! I went with your friends 😂😂 okay, just hanging out with JKs friends on your own? It's giving couple. I can't lie. I'm sorry. What in the best friend?! 😂😂 I loved the facial expressions and the way Jimin buried his face into Jungkookie there too
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Jimin listening to hate you. And JKs why are you listening to that? Jimin: because I like it 😳 lmao I agree Jimin, it was abrupt 😂😂
Their appreciation for their crew is 😍😍
Jk dozing off to Jimin's softly singing. It's giving the same vibes as that one run episode that he dozed off to Jimin's ASMR. Idk what that's giving exactly.... But it's giving *something* and you know what it is
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"this is our last moment of relaxation. I love it" 😭
Not JK just chopping at his hair like that. Oh baby lol don't look at me like this is my fault!! It's okay, fucking up your hair and needing to make it much shorter than originally planned is a life right of passage lol
Not JKs haircut transporting Jimin back in time 10 years 😂😂😂
The staff giggling and immediately taking photos 😂 BTS are their babies lol
Jimin hurting himself and shouting oh shit 😂😂 the subtitles trying to sensor him without bleeping his actual words 😂🤣 subtitles should be accurate above all else people! Cmon! Lol
Jimin moaning and groaning while transferring tubs, sitting on the edge, etc and JK just looks like he is enjoying the show the whole time. There is so much ass on display in the shorts they are wearing in this whole scene. Where is the decorum?! Lol!
Turning off the cameras to shower together before the Jacuzzi. Very innocent, but sounds like it could be so not 🤣😂
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JKs faces when trying to handle to cold tub 😂😂
"feel how cold I am" better translated to "just hug me once" and the immediate hug and the hand placement to feel the cold? Yeah okay 🤣
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Anyone remember the emojis over the barest slips of tummy during anything? Now they are showing them wash themselves and rub their own muscles in a cold tub and show off flexing to the camera. What the fuck Hybe 🤣🤣🤣
Soundproof Sauna to their matching PJs and eating a whole feast 🥰
The way they giggle together is my favorite thing
JK watching Jimin making his this crab is so good video so endeared 🥰😂😍
Jimin insisted on JK trying the shrimp too because it was so amazing instead of eating the last of the shrimp even though he loved it so much. And JK sharing half his urchin with Jimin because it was so yummy. Cute. They are so precious to each other
Jimin wants seconds, JK says it's a bad idea. They order seconds 😂😂😂
I both love and hate watching them eat. Because I think watching people eat is gross and I stand by that. Lol but they love it so much and look so happy, I also just enjoy seeing them enjoy themselves. It's a complicated mix of emotions I experience 😂
The trend continues of brushing their teeth together. Jimin, the mischief maker, kicks JK during their teeth brushing?? Lol and takes a selfie of them too. Share it please?
"I'm going to pass out after this, especially if we get massages" JK " we are getting massages?!" No lmfao you silly goose, that was 100% Jimin hinting at wanting a massage 😂🤣😂🤣
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Not them being super sleepy, yet still annoying each other on purpose by flashing lights at each other 😂
Jimin asking JK if he is too hot, probably knowing already he gets too hot at night. But instead of changing the temperature when he did wake up too hot, knowing Jimin was comfy with how it was, JK just moved to the living room. And Jimin waking him up by so softly petting his head 🥺🥺🥺
Are they advertising sunscreen? Lol it worked. I wanted to go get some 😂😂
Jimin fighting for his LIFE in the shower. Wtf was happening?!! Lmao and JK finishing up his breakfast before going into the bathroom to shower while Jimin was still in the shower it sounded like. Lol ALRIGHT. Hope you both enjoyed said shower I guess 😅😂🤣
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Why are we play fighting while getting dressed boys?! Lmao
Jimin starting a pretend photoshoot with the ski jacket and gear. Absolutely, yes please
Jimin is such a good boyfriend bringing JKs jacket back out to him
Jimin just enjoying sitting in the car while JK goes in to order 😂😂 good for him! JK telling him he only ordered food for himself and none for Jimin, only to say "here is our food" when it arrived 😂 what a jokester lol
Jimin feeding Jungkook while he is driving 🥺
Jimin joking about an AYS OST. Please please please give it to us though for real
Singing random love songs for a game! Where JK interrupted Jimin singing the line "the person I love is gone" to sing "I love you" three times lol okay got it
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The way JK always stops to just stare at Jimin until he gets his reaction to whatever he is doing or wearing is always so cute. Especially because he always smiles so cutely after Jimin gives him his desired compliment 💜❤️
JK adjusting Jimin's googles for him 🥺
The way that JK checks in on Jimin first to make sure he is actually okay before teasing him about being scared lol it's sweet and cute
The hysterical cut of JK shredding down the slope to Jimin laying in the snow 😂😂😂😂 Jimin and his staff member literally falling over each other 🤣🤣🤣 I'm dying lmao!
Jimin ditching his helmet with how often he falls is stressing me out lmfao he looks gorgeous though!
Skiing would be fun too he says, turning to Jimin with a hopefully sparkle in his eyes that he knows Jimin can't say no to. Camera cuts to them on skis 😂 JK, I love and adore you. Never change
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Wrap up thoughts:
They showered/bathed together 3 times in one episode and thats insane. Lmao whatever guys 😂 this was just an excellent episode showcasing their closeness, their intimacy, their silliness, their individuality and their soft spoken nature with each other. It showed the way they consistently consider each other, what the other wants and needs. I don't think I have anything to expand on from what I've already said above. I really loved this episode. Fully plan on the last episode making me cry.
All purple links in my post go back to @dstdes with video clips of the moment being talked about. I did use a few twitter clips as well, sorry. Thanks for reading!
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Unnatural Love
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Part 1 Synopsis : Name has being transmigrated into the world of I'M Not That Kind Of Talent without ever reading the novel. She's not being reincarnated as a human but as a Devil as well.
Hi there! I want to let you know that this fanfiction story isn't solely my creation. I borrowed the concept from @quqiwo2. I haven't actually read the novel either, just some spoiler to the end.
I hope you'll excuse my spelling and grammar mistake, because English not my first language
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STARTLED
that was the first thing that hit me after I opened my eyes. My sleepy eyes disappeared in an instant. Where am i?
This room is different from my room.
My room had so much of my stuff that I was surprised to be in a room that was almost completely empty. Here there is only a cupboard and a set of tables and chairs.
‘Why am I here? I feel like I slept last night in my own room? Am I being kidnapped? Is this a random kidnapping?'
that's my panicked mind. trying to find a reason why I could be in a strange room overnight. But of course I don't have the slightest clue why? I don’t even doing something special to get me on this situation.
I tried to calm myself amidst the panic that hit me with take a deep breath. Panic doesn’t bring me anywhere.
'calm down, calm down. no point panicking here now! Come on, we must look for the clues about where am I first!'
After I regained consciousness and patted my cheek as a distraction from my nervousness. I woke up from this hard bed and looking around me.
This place is very dark, there are no lights on. but there is a window so the moonlight comes into this room.
So I tried to look outside to check the situation. I carefully tried to stick my head out the window.
it was still dark and there was a moon... but wait!
What’s with that in the outside!!!
I noticed that the tree growing outside the window was very different from the trees I knew. Why is the tree trunk black as if it has no nutrients like a dead tree?
I thought I saw it wrong because this was a night time. But I’m not the wrong one, the trunk was indeed black even after being illuminated by moonlight. Then I could also see the castle walls that I usually see in pictures of royal castles that I see when I read fantasy stories.
I can't believe my eyes right now. My mouth widened without my knowledge.
‘Why is the scene outside so beyond of reason!!! Am I dreaming or am I the one who has gone crazy here?’
I rubbed my eyes with my hands. trying to make a dream that feels real is just a dream.
But I still see the same view.
‘Where am I really!!! Can someone tell me the clue of this nowhere place’
I pulled my hair out of frustration before I finally looked at my hands.
‘Why is my skin color dark gray? Where is the white skin that I care for with all my heart??? Why did my white skin turn into a dark gray color like this...’ I held my skin which had changed color. Couldn't believe the eyes that had deceived me with that strange sight.
I felt confused when I saw a very sudden change without any prior notification. I'm very unhappy with this sudden change, who would be happy if someone bombed me for no reason. I wanna complain with someone now!!!
Then I frantically approached the cupboard, trying to find a mirror in there. and it turns out that behind the cupboard door there is a long mirror that can show my figure.
And I saw it,
A woman reflected in the mirror with dark gray skin, her hair a silverish purple color.
This is definitely not my body. How could I have a body and hair like this!!!
My current narrative is actually very similar to the transmigration novel I read when the theme of transmigration was on the rise. but I quickly got bored with the theme so I stopped reading it.
But - that's not what should be discussed. There’s something more urgent here!
I was in a different body, just like the transmigration story. The view outside is also different from the earth I know.
Perhaps...
I- I exist... in another world... in unknown world.
I really transmigrated... Me…
Why... that was the sound of my heart screaming while lamenting my unfortunate situation.
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You know, maybe because I've read transmigration stories. Do you think I'll know what to do next?
Certainly not that way. Even if I know the transmigration, the shock from the real transmigration is still real. I sat in front of the mirror, my mind running fast with panic.
The plot of transmigration itself is that most people who transmigrate know what kind of world they are in and can find ways to adapt or maybe try to return back to original world.
But I don't know where I am now! No clue at all!!!
‘It's still nice if I get lost in romance stories. But if I get lost in a world of war, it’s really bad. Is there war in this world? Is there magic, holy power or demonic power? Demonic beast Would I go to war too if that were true? I can die again even when I don't know if I'm really dead or not in my world.’ My mind has drifted to the imagination where I will fight and die badly.
‘Stop the rambling for a second. Focus what I know right now, organize it first.’ I slap my cheek to awaken my focus again. My nervous and anxiety really get me.
I don’t even read to many transmigration story. I only read fantasy novels where both the villain and the main character are human. So of course I don't know why i was in this body that was clearly not human.
I really having no clue at all, maybe I really transmigrated to some unknown world.
I don’t even know if I'm actually in one of the ongoing transmigration stories or if it's really another world that wasn't created by an author in the earth.
TOK TOK TOK!!!
“Lowly devil, get out now, it's time for work.” shouted someone outside the door while banging on the door of this room
“Okay!” I spontaneously screamed. I saw that I was still wearing a nightgown, and it was impossible to work here in a nightgown, so I looked into the contents of this cupboard. Trying to see the work outfit in my cupboard.
Maid outfit. That's the only shirt that stands out among my usual clothes.
‘Then I'll be a servant here, not some kind of superwoman who immediately knows how to fight.’
I don't know whether I should be relieved by that fact or not
But earlier the person who was shouting outside said that he was a lowly devil?
That means I'm not human and I'm a devil.
And lowly... is my caste here lower so that I am called lowly?
If that's the case, how do I survive this poor life in a place that considers me inferior. It meaning the only way to survive in this unknown place is to work here and find out the situation in this world.
Whether I can get out, escape or return to the original world can be thought after knowing the situation. So time to work.
TO BE CONTINUED
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sheyshen · 1 year
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tonight my brain is fighting between wanting to keep working on clearing out my room so i can deep clean it and set it up as a room again, wanting to finish dailies and some other stuff on xiv, wanting to finish the monthly and the new patch on wow and wanting to play bg3.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months
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Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.
(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#a-qing#jin ling#wen ning#jiang cheng#“Hey wait this feels like there should have been way more content for questions” Yes. There was.#I was not strong enough to redraw *all* of what was lost. Rest in piece the original (lost to tea related accident)#But I'll tell you all the fun other things that would have been drawn out right here in the tags!#Did you know my longest posting streak was 61 days? And my longest hiatus was 6 days?#Did you know I missed posting on 92 days of those 500 days - meaning I posted 82% of the time on a daily basis?#I'm normal about collecting data. I have so much data on this blog for normal reasons. I'm also so normal about art. The normalest.#Honorable mention for the character rankings: Lan Wangji! for “Most improved in rank”.#Sorry Lan Wangji fans but until the audio drama I honestly was...pretty indifferent towards him.#I think a huge part of that was due to the fact he's constantly paired up with WWX; who has *so* much charisma and steals the scene#But I've really come to like him a lot more since starting this project. He rose from mid-tier to being in the top ten!#Dishonorable mention: Nie Huaisang. Who fell out of number 1 spot and out of the top 5.#He just hasn't shown up a lot! And my rankings are fickle! They will probably change once I finish the third season!#My favourite comics are: A lot of them! And the ones I have yet to make!#I'm very sleepy at the moment while writing this but I do want to give a huge shout out to YOU.#Yeah! you reading this! Thank you! If you've been here since the first week or just started reading: THANK YOU!#If you've only ever lurked and never even liked a single post but still read my comics: THANK YOU!!#In creating this blog - I have found 500 days of more happiness that I could have ever imagined.#Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for giving me your time and your support.#It means more than any 'thank you' could say B'*)
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feelo-fick · 4 days
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Headcanon: Chilchuck and his Bad Takes on Literature
i think chilchuck would be like my mom in the sense that he wouldnt like sad stories. dont get me wrong, cautionary tales? absolutely fine. they serve a purpose to him which is to tell people "dont be an idiot and do this or else something bad will happen"
generally sad or angsty stories though? no point to him, and in his perspective its really confusing how people just read things that make them sad. like whats the use of reading something if its just gonna make you sad. whats the lesson? its not even real so it doesnt help anyone.
whats the point in making yourself cry when you could just avoid that entirely by not reading it at all?
but the one of the biggest reasons why sad stories exist is to let you release all the built up grief in you. to send you something to let out all your emotions in a healthy way. catharsis. empathy.
even when i dont relate to the tragic experiences in some stories, several ones ive read have lead me to realize that im in a bad situation or that im following in the footsteps of the character suffering. its like a wake up call.
and making yourself cry isnt inherently a bad thing. if crying allows you to let go of building pressure and tension in you then thats good!
but chil wouldnt see that. of course he wouldnt, hes avoidant of most situations that would allow him to release emotion, and fearful of letting his mature (read: repressed) persona slip.
hes someone that runs away to quick comforts and distractions at the earliest sign of issue. hes already been in too many horrifying situations, dealing with another is a pain. and he knows denying everything and refusing to look at the situation doesnt help, but it definitely provides a quick and easy happiness in the comfort of ignorance.
because of this, reading something made to make one empathize with and confront these bad emotions is defeating the point of his cowering. if he faces his issues, even if only through the perspective of a story, he'd have to deal with acknowledging that things are bad and need fixing, and he'd feel terrible and guilty in the moment - which of course is the worst thing that could happen to a person (his thought, not mine).
which is why i find the concept of him being/becoming a tragedy himself at the same time as this headcanon soooo interesting. imagine the irony of him bashing on the protagonists of tragic stories for acting on emotion and impulse rather than logic, when he himself has fallen victim to irrational thinking while in grief.
cause... thats what people do when they grieve. they lash out, make bad decisions, ruin themselves, ruin others.
for a tragedy to be prevented, the protagonists would have to change fundamental parts of themselves, and act perfectly rational when under extreme stress. and chilchuck holds himself to these kinds of unrealistic standards because he unwittingly believes he can handle it all.
he cant, obviously. we see it for ourselves in his relationship with his wife. they were doomed from the beginning by chils already-established avoidance and lack of emotional vulnerabiltiy (and whatever else his wife had going on).
this is all just to say that if you told him about orpheus and eurydice, he'd probably be one of those idiots trying to point out the "plot hole" that he couldve "just not looked back" and "just trusted her"
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i dont understand. whats the point in reading tragedies? the protagonist is stupid, anyways. why would you take bitter medicine? why subject yourself to that?
i think its just a bad story.
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sneepy cozy time....
#cats#longing to one day hopefully feel sleepy cozy like this again...#There was a pretty cool week here so I thought we had progressed closer to cool fall weather but... NO#..wrong!! It's like 80F in my room right now and was 98F outside yesterday. We get two more 'cooler' days and then#it starts going up again and will be in the high 90s possibly 100 something later this week#in my mind september should be COOOOOLLLL!!!!! or at least STARTING to get there.. Like mid 80s at the highest.#I am going to explode the world with evil wizard powers aaRGHaaHHHHHHHH#OR at least it should get down really low at night. I think thats the main thing is if it's 95 in the day and only 62 for like 3 hours in#the middle of the night then even leaving a fan in windows all night is not enough to fully cool down the house because its just not#enough cold air or cool for long enough. If it were 98 in the day but 15F outside at night then you could probably bring cool air inside al#night and your house would be at a relatively low starting point for the next days heat.#Like for example - in my apartment on a hot and sunny day. Even with every window#closed and blocked off with thick layers of reflective stuff and also not using the stove or doing anything to generate heat - the apartmen#will still go up on average about 6 - 8 degrees in one day. Peaking around 8 - 10pm night time. If I start off with the house cooled down#to 60F. then the highest it would get is 66 - 68 which is tolerable#.But if the lowest I can cool the apartment all night is still only 75F#then it's going to be 81 - 83F by the end of the day. So really it would be bearable (ISH)#for it to be warm as long as it was colder at night.#Though still the IDEAL is to not have to structure my life around envrionmental management and constantly be checking the#outdoor temperature so I can put the fans in the second that it's colder outside than it is inside and putting elaborate curtain systems#up and down at the exact right times and meal prepping 4 days in advance so I dont have to use the stove for 3 days and blah blah blah#Life in the colder weather months is so effortless and breezy in that sense. I can just have the window open all day and get natural light.#I can cook whatever I want. I can wear what I like. I can move around the house freely without needing to always#carry a fan around with me or douse myself in water.#ANYWAY.... oh if only that were me.... snuggled in a warm blanket ... a comforting wintery image...
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star--anon · 2 months
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Gally hides a lot of his panic attacks and nightmares that he got after he went through the Changing in a desperate attempt to be liked again in the Glade
He was kind of universally hated in the books, apparently becoming extremely unlikeable after he got Stung
which is honestly so sad. What he saw drove him slightly insane and he couldn’t handle it and shut down.
#it’s 2am I hope this makes sense my brain is losing itself#in a ‘Teresa lives’ AU I can actually totally see them becoming friends#if I had a nickel for every time a maze runner character witnessed horrors and did bad things#that specifically involved sacrificing one or two people in order to benefit many more people#I would have two nickels#they also bond over being extremely protective over Minho#because I think Teresa would be super duper protective of Minho in Paradise#partly out of guilt and partly out of trauma#she works closely with the doctors to heal him and visits him daily to make sure he’s feeling a-okay#she spoon feeds him when he’s too weak to feed himself#actually she has almost an obsession with bringing him food or feeding him or cooking food for him or just watching him eat in general#but it’s because WCKD regularly starved him or used food as an incentive/weapon against him#and now she’s just extremely determined to make sure Minho never has that happen to him again#Thomas sits in the corner awkwardly waiting for Teresa and Gally to finish fussing over his boyfriend so he can kiss him#Minho wakes up like ‘I don’t remember having a girlfriend as well as two boyfriends???’#and Thomas is just ‘YOU DONT????’#Minho will be sleeping on the couch for that comment tbh#Minho goes to Gally and/or Teresa whenever he and Thomas get into arguments#Thomas is so confused by this. Especially Teresa#‘YOURE LITERALLY MY EX GIRLFRIEND YOU SHOULD BE ON MY SIDE’#idk if I actually agree with anything I just wrote but I’m too sleepy to do things like reread
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fraberry-stroobcake · 7 months
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is it gay to be so overwhelmed with emotions by thinking about someone you care about so much you almost want to pick up writing again
#- but also it’s night time and you can’t fall asleep even though you need to get up early#and you’re just stuck imagining the lines you want written down#so your only options are to do it now while they’re still there#or not and then forget all of them in the morning and cry#hi i’m the gay one help i haven’t been in this state in a while#i’m just in that state again somehow i guess#probably because i never got a chance to tell this person how something so small for them meant a world to me in that moment#i hope i’ll be able to tell you all that myself in a more direction way but i love you so much you mean the world to me#okay i don’t actually want to scare you off by saying that but knowing what my mind is imagining for this you’d think that yourself anyway#i should probably stop taking now it’s way too late and i’m being tooooo emotionally vulnerable rn#hi guys sleepy night time frab here i’m the (other) emotion + vulnerable one#don’t you love to see it#i wonder if anyone is still down here reading these tags#hi if you are! send aaaa hmmm send a little ‘£; e’ if you read to this point#also why r u still reading? weirdoooo /jk love you#but really don’t be down here too long i’m sorta bleeding all my feelings out right now#because i’m so bad at expressing myself directly and as soon as i want to#ugh i’ll leave now i’m lonely and talking to myself too much again#night night everpony#frabrant#wonder if i’ll write more again… ok i’m LEVAING now gah
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sysig · 2 years
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Who’s that- It’s Rouxls. It’s him (Patreon)
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mars-ipan · 10 days
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i have my first infusion tomorrow and the Anxiety is kicking in and i am trying so so hard to keep it calm
#marzi speaks#marzivents#EASY boy down boy it’s okay#i’m stressed bc i don’t know if i should bring any paperwork. or medication#(i’m gonna bring some of my meds in a purse just in case)#i don’t know what questions my rheum’s gonna ask#i don’t know what i’m going to do in terms of getting food#will the hospital provide a meal or will i have to request it from outside#i don’t know if my mom will be with me the whole time or just drop me off or if she’ll stay for some of it and then leave#i don’t even know what the infusion center looks like#all i know is that i’m gonna sit with a needle in my arm for 4-6 hours and that i should respond well to it#and my anxiety stems from Not Knowing i HATEEEE not knowing things#uuuuggghhhh it’ll be fine. it’ll be fine. the staff at that hospital are lovely and used to helping stressed kids#so they can help if i have an anxiety attack#and it wouldn’t be embarrassing bc i went through a traumatic experience and these people help people for a living#so it’s gonna be fine. but i hate that i don’t know how it works#will i be in my own little room for a little bit? i imagine not. is there any privacy?#or am i just going to be sitting with a bunch of other people getting chemo?#i don’t KNOW. i don’t know and i really don’t like it#but i need to go to sleep soon. but i still have this stupid insomnia even though i’m tired#probs gonna have to warn my mom that i’m gonna be a little neurotic tomorrow. bc i hate this anticipation actually it makes me feel awful#and like with the follow-up with my rheumatologist that’s also gonna be happening#what kind of questions will she ask? what kind of things will i need to know? ohhh god#ok deep breaths. relax. it is late and i am tired and therefore more prone to catastrophizing#i do know this doctor. i know she is kind and patient. this is not a test. it’s going to be okay#gotta remind myself that it’s gonna be okay. do my cyclical breathing and try to relax physically#the mental will follow as the fatigue sets in#okay. okay. we’re a little calmer. still not Plussed but we’re okay#gonna try to get sleepy now
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years
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Ed recovery with autism and adhd is so weird.
Like I'll either forget to eat lunch entirely or I'll forget when I ate last and end up eating lunch 3 seperate times instead.
Then sometimes I have to literally ask my girlfriend if I'm hungry because I don't fucking know what my body is feeling ever and she's usually like "Yeah you should eat".
Then when I go to prepare food it's like:
Me: okay body so how much food do you want
Body: hm...m... food...?
Me: yes food. But HOW MUCH
Body: uhh... s e v e r a l
Me: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
And then I end up making too much for me to eat (thank God I'm allowed to not eat all of my food now- I hated that rule so much growing up) but its still so goddamn confusing skgjfjfhff
#wrong#anyway im incredibly thankful for my girlfriend who is so so patient and supportive#the amount of help and support i never realized i need is actually insane#like i genuinely cant function without help because of my autism (and adhd to a lesser degree)#idk its just really nice to not only have help but not feel like i should be ashamed of needing it either#oof i forgot the other thing that happens when i make food is that i prepare it and then by the time its done cooking#i dont even want it anymore -_- like wtf? i literally was JUST hungry#or i wont feel hungry but then as soon as i go to bed and cant make food because everyones asleep#and the lights are all off and im all cozy and sleepy#THEN im starving. my body has the worst timing ever sometimes istg#still not as bad as before recovery though#ive just elected to be a lot more patient with myself#i used to compare my recovery to other peoples never understanding what i was doing#but the truth of the matter was those people i was comparing myself to#had only had eds for like 2-5 years. which is still bad of course but its not applicable to my scenario#they were also neurotypical and cisgender which i also couldnt relate to#the thing is i never learned how to eat properly. before my ed i still wasnt eating enough#because my parents were neglecting me#i only know hunger and i never learned how to eat properly or what being nourished feels like#that means i have to not only relearn things but learn them entirely for the first time#i have to learn what hunger feels like and what being full feels like and when it is and isnt ok to skip a snack#its just really hard learning these things for the first time ar 20 years old#and once i acknowledged that- that it was really hard for me- i think i felt a lot of relief#like im struggling but it makes sense that i am and i wont always feel like thia#one day i will heal. i just needed a little help
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muttonsnacks · 7 months
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I will NOT install more follower mods mid playthrough i will STICK with this gaggle of furries
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scarletiswailing347 · 10 months
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you can really tell i mellowed out about zam cause i draw him about as much as i do my other blorbos now aka never lol jk
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owleics-fr · 1 year
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 years
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You used to be my rival!
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pepprs · 2 years
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i guess im starting a tradition of double ventposting lol but the last thing i’llsay (maybe) is like… all of that has a caveat which is that my emotional object permanence has been absolutely OBLITERATED by 3 yrs of covid hell and it is really doing a number on me. clearly
#purrs#this manifests in how not normal i am abt reading / responding to messages btw ♥️ i love depriving myself of evidence that i am loved#also somewhat ​relatedly (and i may have already said this but): covid also destroyed something that has always already been hard for me whi#which (ironically given how important it is to the work I do) foresight. i was not su*cidal growing up but i simply couldn’t imagine what li#life would be like after high school. it felt like the show was supposed to be over on graduation day. and everything that’s happened since#then has seemed a little fake to me… and then covid happened and it felt even more fake… and now i graduated college and WORK THERE full#time. and it’s like.. at any given moment i am about 30-40% convinced that the things that are happening to me aren’t actually real or that#they’re not supposed to be happening bc the show ended on may 30 2017. and i don’t think that’s a healthy way to experience the world lol#unreality tw#ask to tag#like ofc my day to day life is real and the week to week stuff is real. but there’s some twilight zone-ness to it. like its happening to#someone else who looks exactly like me butim in her body and not mine and not controlling anything. idk. that’s not the right metaphor its h#hard to explain and im so sleepy. but the best way i can describe it which i keep doing is like a tv show that should be over by now but is#dragging on fro some reason. like we never finished watching it but it’s like the office continuing after michael Scott left. it’s just#weird and wrong and fake and doesn’t feel real. and the fact that it actually is real but i feel that way is a very big problem
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