#but i feel like just. insanely oblivious is the only explanation

[misc-obeyme]

Hello! :D

I simply can't stop thinking about Barbatos being insanely attracted and so deeply in love with MC that he don't make the effort to hide it anymore, but the problem is: MC doesn't actually think that he feels that way.

(I'm using female pronouns for better explanation, pardon my english 😔🫶)

Like, MC lives with many ancient and immortal beings who have lived for many many centuries and she is only a human who lived for a few years. In mc's conception, she doesn't see a reason why any of them would be attracted to mc in any way, so she just lives peacefully with them, not really expecting any romantic approach.

Mc and barbatos have a friendship, and mc is attracted to Barbatos (who isn't really?), but doesn't do anything about it. Kinda like the attraction you feel towards your favorite idol, you don't really make a move, but you wish you could get married.

Barbatos notices and kinda feels the same way, sending discreet signals when they were together. He finds it strange, because he sees her obvious interest in him, but doesn't do anything about it.

As time passes, Barbs feelings grow stronger and he grows frustrated and is determined to show MC his interest, his discreet moves now are obvious (only when they were alone bc its barb, cmon). When mc is talking he is just staring at her with such lovestruck eyes, blinking slowly and repliying to her in a flirty way. Mc only grows more and more flustered, not making any moves still.

It gets worse in a degree that once barbatos corners her against a wall and stares deeply at her soul, saying something bluntly urging her to do something since he knew she wasnt oblivious to the situation. Maybe in a teasing way, maybe serious.

I dont know if my ideas came out clear and I honestly think I'm a little lightheaded bc of anti-allergy meds, but this plot has been haunting my mind and I had to tell someone. Stay safe!! 🫶🫶🫶

Hi there, anon! While I'm a little concerned about medications making you lightheaded (like omg please rest and I hope you feel better soon!), I do think I understand what you're trying to say!

Because ahhh Barbatos he's so reserved. When I wrote my long fic, there's kind of a theme where the MC character doesn't believe that Barbatos returns their feelings. It's the cause of much angst and anguish, especially in the later chapters.

I think this is because Barbatos doesn't really express his feelings all that much. He's always calm and collected. He doesn't really get worked up about much of anything. Even when he's mad, it's like hidden behind a smile. The only time we really see him get truly angry is with Solomon in Nightbringer. (I mean there may have been other times but that's the only time I can remember.)

Anyway, I love the idea that he finally picks up on MC's feelings and realizes he has to start being more expressive with his own feelings. I kinda think he might realize that he only has so much time with MC, assuming they're still mortal. Like he's gonna hafta do something because time is short!

I personally am very fond of Barb being a tease, so I like the idea of him kinda teasing MC about it at first. But eventually he's going to get serious. If he thought MC really didn't understand how he feels and wasn't picking up on his teasing and maybe couldn't respond for some reason, he would choose to get serious and direct with them.

So yes, I think this is a delightful scenario and I am always rooting for Barbatos to confess his true love to MC lol!

[male-yn-simping]

make an threesome about chad ethan an M/N

Better Late Than Never

Chad Meeks Martin x male reader x Ethan Landry

Warning: making out. Spicy, but no actual smut

You were supposed to be at Sam, Tara, and Quinn's apartment. Your friend group was meeting up for a game night. And you would have been on time, if it wasn't for the two very needy boys that you happen to have feelings for

You were over at there apartment, studying with Ethan for econ. You were struggling to focus on your work, instead, you found your focus stuck on Ethan. You couldn't help it. The way he put the tip of his pen in his mouth as his eyes scanned the words on his computer. The way his nose would scrunch up when something confused him. And especially the way he would bite his lip and groan when he realized there was more work to do.

The boy was unknowingly driving you insane. But someone else knew.

Chad was standing in the kitchen, a soda in hand, as he watched you and Ethan. Unlike Ethan, Chad wasn't oblivious. He caught the way you stared at Ethan, and he didn't fail to notice that you looked at him the same way. He seemed to be the only one to notice any of these though, because neither you or Ethan ever noticed his stares, and you never noticed Ethans.

Chad being the only one to know what was going on, he realized he was also the only one that would do anything about it. And he decided the night when all three of you had to be somewhere was a great time.

He walked over to where you sat at the table with a smirk on his face. He put his hands on the back of your chair and leaned down, unnoticed by a hyper focused Ethan, but you were very aware of his presence.

He leaned down so his mouth was by your ear, his warm breath fanning over your ear and neck, causing a blush to cover your cheeks.

"I know he's cute, but you're staring a lot, Y/N." He whispers in your ear. You're cheeks redden even more as your eyes widen.

"I-I don't... Don't know what you're talking about" You stumble over your words, your heart racing in your chest. Chad laughed lightly in response in a way that said he was calling bullshit. He pulls out his phone and pulls up the camera, putting it in your hand.

"If you take a picture it'll last longer" His voice is low and soft, his words flowing at smoothly.

At you're blushing, frozen, and now horny state, Chad coos teasingly and moves your hand to take the picture. The camera flashes as it captures Ethan in it's frame, which causes the boys head to snap up. He sees the two of you, the phone camera pointed at him, and blushes.

"W-what are you two doing?" He stutters. All you can do is stare with wide eyes, like a deer caught in headlights. Chad continues to smirk though as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

"We're just admiring how pretty you are, Eth." Chad teases, "Right, Y/N"

Not trusting yourself to speak, you just nod. Ethan sputters as he tries to respond but can't. So, with a teasing chuckle, Chad decides to show mercy.

"Y/N, I see the way you look at both me and E. Ethan, I see the way you look at me and Y/N. You're both to oblivious to see how I look at you two." Chad explains matter-of-factly. You and Ethan stare at each other in shock as you process Chads words.

"It's simple. We all want each other. We should do something about it" Chad finishes his explanation, standing up and moving his hand to rest on your shoulder, gently rubbing circles with his thumbs. Ethan nodded slowly as he took in Chads words and slowly closed his laptop. You looked from Ethan to Chad, eyes still wide as you take in the situation. As soon as you fully process what the fuck just happened, your quick to act. You turn, though the position is a bit awkward, and kiss Chad.

He is slightly caught off guard by the sudden initiative, but quickly gets ahold of himself and kisses back. The kiss doesn't last long as your back starts to hurt from the position. That and the way Ethan stares at you and Chad with wide doe eyes and gulps. Chad moves over to Ethan and kisses him. When he pulls away, he smirks over at you.

"Lets move to my room." Chad says and you and Ethan are quick to listen. As soon as you get in there, you're pushing Ethan onto the bed, sitting on his lap and kissing him. You feel Chad find place standing behind you again, his head dropping to kiss up and down your neck, then Ethans.

When Ethan lets out a soft moan, Chad attacks the spot that triggered it. He pulls away with a proud smirk as he admires the mark he left before moving your face away from Ethans and kissing you, his tongue slipping into your mouth, his hands on your hips.

After a bit, you two pull away, breathing heavy, a string of saliva connecting your kiss swollen lips.

----------------------------------------------------------

A little over an hour later the three of you are laying on Chads bed. All of you are sweaty, breathing heavy and flushed red. Ethan and you lay tangled together we Chad cleans and cum on any of you off with a rag, his gentleness making your heart flutter.

"What time is it?" Ethan mumbles into your chest, but loud enough so he's still heard.

"Umm..." Chad trails off as he searches for a phone. When he does, the screen lights up his face and his eyes widen. "8:42"

"Oh shit!" You gasp, quickly sitting up and pulling Ethan up with you. "We were supposed to be there at 8"

"Shit, shit, shit" Chad mumbles as he passes you and Ethan your clothes off the floor and puts on his own. You all quickly scramble to get redressed and go over to the other's apartment. Chad moved a bit quicker than you an Ethan and walked into the apartment, getting stared at by Tara, Quinn, Sam, Mindy, Anika, and Danny.

"Hi. Sorry I'm late." He says awkwardly. "i was doing a couple things and got distracted"

Walking in after Chad, you and Ethan found an spot on the floor and sat down, holding hands.

"I'm 'a couple things'" You say with a grin.

"i'm 'got distracted'" Ethan follows, giggling softly as everyone stares in shock.

[sstardustt3]

-akira kurusu (joker) headcannons-

First of all, THEATER KID. 

You simply can not tell me that he is not an overdramatic theater kid who does the most at all times, especially when he was a kid.

But this led him to be seen as “odd” and outcasted by the people around him in the which made him extremely lonely, he wasn’t bullied but he didn’t have any friends 

Because of this he kinda closed himself off to fit more into the societal norms and not be seen as strange which is why he’s so quiet and keeps to himself all the time 

Which made him partially excited to go to shibuya because despite it being a pretty shitty situation, being on probation and arrested for something that wasn’t even his fault, he thought that maybe in the big city he’ll find some people that won’t think he’s weird and can open up to which he ended up getting with the thieves  but his hope was only temporarily diminished with his record being leaked

Holy fuck that was long but, moving on, I think he has a very poor relationship with his parents, especially after being convicted of assault.

I don’t think his parents hate him by any means but they’re definitely neglectful based on the fact joker doesn’t get a single call, text, or a letter from them

What i personally think is that his parents are the type of parents to do the bare minimum and do nothing else for him

In a sense his parents sort of gave up on him because of his “eccentric”  behavior and him getting arrested might have solififed that for that for them and even if not they’re definitely not on his side when it comes to the whole assault thing which could be why they never contact him

Okay the last two were pretty angsty but moving on,

He has like, zero experience with girls and he’s the most oblivious mf ever

And because he wasn’t really popular at his old school (for the aforementioned reasons) he got ZERO bitches, none, cero.

 This is actually another headcanon that i really don’t have an explanation for but when he moved way more girls started liking him because of people thinking he was this bad boy and he had NO idea how to deal with that

Like for a while he just thought people were just being weirdly nice to him

Like he is the type of guy who unintentionally flirty like just natural charisma with looks

Like you have to be insanely obvious for him to even take a hint

Adding onto the headcanon that you have to be insanely obvious to get him to notice that you like him, once he does realize  that you like him like one of two things is going to happen:

One, if your not that close than he has no idea what to do about that and he’s just slightly more awkward than usual

But two, if you are that close, he is BOLD. despite he is not knowing how to flirt for shit he is still charming enough that his horrible attempts at flirting and teasing somehow work

Because he has no cannon birthday other than the year he is born (2000) my personal thought is that he’s born on valentines day, there’s no elaboration for this one just a gut feeling

I feel like he has a vivid imagination of scenarios 

Like for example he can imagine an entire plot for a musical at three am and exactly how it would go

Morgana and sojiro have frequently told him to shut up and go to bed

Also he has insomnia. I just felt like I should throw that into there.

Him, sojiro, and futaba have movie nights once a weekend and ninety percent of the time it’ll be a horror, old movies, or a studio ghibli movie

Texas chainsaw massacre, kill bill, sadako vs kayako, jacobs ladder, don’t look up, my neighbor totoro, spirted away, sailor moon r, ponyo, etc

60 precent of the time futaba picks the movie

I have no explanation for this one but him in the metaverse is very much christian borle coded in a way i can’t explain i swear (please i beg of you listen to hard to be a bard from something rotten its so good)

.

[blacklegsanjiii]

Ah ! I’ll go by Wine then ✨

That’s kind of unfortunate but also insanely funny to me, the siblings have to go through the typical arospec experience of not rly knowing how to identify romantic feelings and being super oblivious to flirting and the like… and god forbid they ask Sanji as the most “normal” sibling, either. He probably has an insanely rose-tinted view of the whole thing and his waxing poetic about how wonderful love is wouldn’t be good as teaching material at all, it’d just be like reading one of those romance books again. They’re on their own, because asking their parents is also embarrassing as hell!! Their adventures are going to be fruitful for sure if they hope to learn anything the not-awkward way.

Though also side note I feel like Reiju pulls the most. All of them are attractive in their own right but Reiju is a pretty lady with a gentle confidence to her that knows how to make you feel special in conversation even when she isn’t completely aware she’s doing it. It drives women crazy . When all of them have a better gauge of this romance stuff they keep complaining to her. She stole all their game. She should share some of her mystique with the class since she has so much. They get kinda too dramatic with it.

- Wine :]

Welcome wine! But yeah, there's five kids who all call their parents gross when they get those particular looks or Mihawk pays Sora those specific words that make her flush. When the kids are out and about and being flirted with no one really understands what's going on, except for Mihawk, Sora, and Sanji. The kids will all be out and about in, hear me out, numbered tank tops that show a lot of skin. You know they're all built and Sanji's three patterned soulmark on his shoulder that creeps up his neck is on display. Also you know it was Yonji who convinced them to wear these and have them made.

Of course they're all being flirted with and Sanji returns it in kind while his siblings are all confused. He explains but it is rose tinted glasses, maybe because he grew up with his parents and has a soulmark. They probably ask him about it once, individually and Sanji talks about it like it's so cool and nice and it sounds cool but they also just....don't get it. They read books on the subjects. Mihawk noticing and just bringing home more. Books about sex, sexuality, gender, soulmates and marks. And of course there are romance books too and comparing notes. Of course if Mihawk or Sora offer any help or conversations the four of them scream and run.

Of course when they feel confident enough to start flirting or flirting back Reiju does pull the most and has the most game. She is drowning in people but she also only acknowledges flirting when she wants to. Her brothers, minus Sanji, all ask for advice. So she gives them what works for her but honestly? They can never match her because of that confidence you mentioned and most of the time she doesn't know she's doing it. That's part of why Perona goes so hard with flirting with her during the time skip because they would mesh so well if Reiju could like stay aware of the flirting. Mihawk and Sora are trying not to laugh at her dismay because they know how difficult they're children can be but also it's really funny.

It'd also be spectacularly hilarious if 124ji mention off handedly that his swords remind them of Sanji and before further explanation can be given they are crying about missing their brother. Sora really asks them, her twenty year olds, if they think it's appropriate. They cry harder in response about him being missing and missing him.

[licncourt]

Do you think Louis is "good with emotions"? What I mean is is he consciously aware of how he feels about what's happening around him, does he have a handle on emotions or does he have.. Issues with translating what he's feeling, therefore he is oblivious to his own emotions. Does he fine tune emotions in a conscious funnel that gives the reader an impression that he's quite adept at being a person you can go to with your problems. Does this make sense? I guess what I'm asking is would he be the best friend you can count on to have a deep talk with or is Louis so repressed he needs to write out his thoughts in a journal before he can give advice. Does he give terrible advice. Would he make a good therapist? I think he's a bit too mentally lost himself to be the person to depend on for advice even though compared to Lestat he's more emotionally mature, but (I'm sorry this is so winded) is Louis aware of his emotions enough to make good life choices, and is Louis able to distinguish emotions or does he struggle with them enough to be that person everyone goes to for advice (hypothetically). I hope I'm making sense.. I'm not too keen on the side of fandom that leans on Louis being the "sane" one while Lestat is the "insane" one, but in my short time in this fandom, that's been my experience 🤷🏻‍♀️ Everyone wants to lean on Louis, and they want him to be the family friendly one. It doesn't give room for him to flesh himself out. Why does Lestat get all the fun stuff. Louis started the shenanigans and he is obviously very unhinged. I don't think it's fair is all. But please give me your thoughts on this very long ask.

Oh God that's a hard question, but my answer is no, he isn't really. He's emotional but I wouldn't say he's good with those emotions or those of others (especially not those actually). In general he reminds me of when you meet a guy who sucks but they call themselves an empath.

Even Lestat says in one of the books that Louis is oblivious to the suffering of others in a lot of ways and I think that's true. He sees human misery when it supports his internal beliefs because he's actively looking for it, but he's not in tune with people in general, especially not when other people's feelings contradict his world view (ie owning slaves while acting like he's some kind of hero for the downtrodden because he eats rats).

I think the fact that he feels his own emotions so intensely is part of what makes him so selfish. He's incredibly caught up in what HE'S feeling, so the inner world of someone else is not really being considered, nor would it occur to him to consider it. That happens a lot in IWTV where, at least the way Louis portrays it, the only explanations he can come up with for Lestat's behavior are that he's stupid or he just has a bad personality.

There's always the implication that their relationship was deeper than Louis made it seem, but I also don't think he was interested in exploring Lestat's deeper motives for his behavior. He got his feelings hurt and therefore whatever Lestat had going on was irrelevant to him. There was no effort to understand and empathize when it was hard and he faced resistantance.

At the very least, be seems to be hellbent on strong-arming his own emotions to suit his will. He's very externally adamant about his chosen narrative, but he spends enough time just Having Feelings that at least deep down, he knows for himself what the truth is most of the time when it comes to his inner thoughts unless he's in true denial. He just chooses to be stubborn and force his way through life ignoring those feelings if he thinks they shouldn't be that way.

His thoughtfulness and how carefully he chooses his words does give the impression of some kind of emotional intelligence, but I think a lot of that is artificial, like when he's talking in IWTV about how his objections to killing are about the principle and the aesthetics. There's a lot of convoluted thinking and justifications, but not much consistent or reasonable logic to suggest that he's tapped into something grounded and honest within himself or the world.

Another indicator of whatever emotional imbalance he has is the way he cycles between being so rigidly repressed and then snapping. That's not the hallmark of someone who's processed or is capable of coping with any hard feelings, much like an addict who never gets treatment but manages to white knuckle their way through stretches of time before losing control again.

I suppose he is more emotionally mature than Lestat in his ability to exercise restraint and be calculated (in good and bad ways), but that doesn't always translate to an emotionally intelligent mindset that influences larger choices or patterns. No matter how good he is at it, his semi-frequent, massive lapses in judgement and self control kind of negate how helpful those skills can be.

This comes across in subtler ways too. He was more the family man than Lestat, but rather than responsibly parent Claudia through her adult challenges, he allowed and fostered an emotionally incestuous dynamic that was incredibly toxic for both of them. Other times he played calm and collected in the face of Lestat's outbursts, but he didn't actually work to resolve anything, just to keep the upper hand through his performative apathy. It's all very surface level and hardly ever productive.

The one credit I'll genuinely give to him was his willingness to let Lestat get whatever all that was out of his system in the 90s and 00s. He was very patient and honest about his feelings and finally had enough softness and genuine care for Lestat that he was able to see objectively the pain, confusion, and trauma those behaviors were born from. It's definitely growth on Louis' end compared to IWTV so golf clap for that.

I will say though that I definitely think he's too self-absorbed and judgmental to make a great listener unless he REALLY cares about the person talking to him. If he thinks he could've handled whatever the problem is better, it's going to show it accidentally even if he's being polite. The truth is he would not have handled it better most likely. Differently maybe, but not better. You had a freakout? Well. He simply would have repressed those feelings and then acted like a bitch later over nothing.

[nomoreusername]

What You Deserve (Part 1)

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary:After the betrayal with Teresa Aris spills darker secrets than you could have ever imagined.

Honestly, I have no clue how one person could be so oblivious, so blind, to why someone might be avoiding them. While it's true that I haven't directly told Aris the reason I'm so pissed off I shouldn't need to say it.

"Y/N,"He called, following me out of the kitchen.

"What do you want?"I sighed, not bothering to stop in my tracks.

"Can you please tell me what's wrong?"He asked again. I scoffed before accidentally letting out a bitter laugh.

"What's wrong? Seriously? You are so daft sometimes,"I snapped.

"I don't know what's going on. Can you please just tell me?"He repeated.

"Go ask Teresa,"I absentmindedly commented. He went unusually silent as I stopped to glare at him.

"I told you why that happened,"He whispered.

"No. You told everyone why it happened,"I pointed out. Like the idiot he is he was still confused.

"You explained one time then expected everyone to move on. Guess what Aris? Everyone else can move on because they aren't dating you. They aren't someone who's with you for some insane reason while also living with that girl you had to kiss might I add."

"Exactly. Had to. I wouldn't have done it if I had a choice."

"Did you say you love her?"I asked.

"Y/N-"

"Answer the question,"I demanded.

"Does it matter?"

I stared at him in disbelief at what I was hearing.

"Of course it matters. You haven't tried to talk to me one time about what happened. You gave the most vague explanation with her standing next to you, and I'm just supposed to accept it and say everything's okay between us? That nothing will change? I'm supposed to forget this? I can't because you won't even try to tell me anything. Not once did you come to me and try to tell me what went on. How do you think that feels?"

"I don't know,"He mumbled.

"Then, I'll help you. I'll put a nice visual in your head. There I am right next to, let's say Newt. He's attractive so he definitely works for this,"I stated, stopping so my words would sink in. I was aware of the worry he had felt in a pit of worry in his stomach when Newt and I seemed to quickly bond. I assured Aris he was the only boy I could ever want, and while that is still true, I wanted him to hurt at least half as much as I did.

"I'm standing there right next to Newt after we both disappeared for two days. Standing beside us is somebody very beaten up, and all I say is I have to is 'I had to'. That girl, you know what, let's just say Harriet,"I added, knowing how close they are. I wanted this to be as descriptive as possible so he feels what I had to.

No. That's the wrong thing statement. I need him to feel what I still am feeling every second I'm around one of them, or even worse, both of them.

"She's your friend too, right? Like how Teresa was mine. Beside us is an injured Harriet. You later find out, not even from me, that I kissed Newt. How do you feel Aris? Can you see it? Because I can very well give you so much more detail. I can give you every image you need,"I snapped.

He looked at me completely silent. All I could do was cross my arms and keep my cold stare.

"Some things were said, but all of them were lies. Everything was a lie. I don't want anyone else Y/N. I want you,"He repeated. By now his words were empty.

"I can't believe you when you wouldn't even try to explain anything,"I shrugged, acting like it still didn't shatter my heart to think about.

"Nothing I say is going to fix this, is it?"He asked, almost silent.

"I don't think so,"I admitted.

"So are you breaking up with me?"He asked, his voice a trembling whisper.

"I don't know,"I repeated. This time my words weren't meant to feel like a knife through the chest. They were true. "I don't think we should be together right now,"I finally spoke up.

"But is that really what you want?"He asked, his voice cracking. I just stared at the ground. "Please tell me it's not,"He begged.

"Of course not, but I can't deal with this right now. There's already so much going on. This will only make everything worse,"I whispered, my words only getting more and more true as the reality of them set in. Still, they had to be said.

"If I tell you the full truth would you stay?"He asked, seeming to struggle with the decision.

"I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything right now."

"But there's a chance?"He asked.

"I don't know,"I shrugged, not knowing how anything he had to say could solve this.

"But it might be there?"

"If you want to say something just say it,"I pleaded, wanting this to be done. Not us but this conversation. My mind is a thousand places at once. This is only sending me spiraling even more.

"Then, I'll take it. Y/N, I built the mazes,"He admitted.

"You already told me that. I was the first person in the Spring who knew about what your role in WICKED was,"I pointed out.

"Not really. No,"He murmered.

His words took me by surprise. So much so that I had to look up at him. They were briming with tears.

"I didn't just build the mazes Y/N. I remember them."

"What do you mean you remember them?"I asked, taking a step towards him. He just stared at the ground before shaking his head.

"Aris, what do you mean you remember them?"

"When I came up in the box I had my memories. It was part of a plan."

For a moment my heart seemed to stop beating as all the blood rushed to my ears. I desperately wanted him to stop talking and take his words back. Instead, he kept going.

"I didn't know much about the Scorch Trials, but I didn't think anyone would die. I didn't know I had to do this. Please Y/N. I didn't know anything would go this far."

"So Teresa, and Thomas, do they know?"I asked.

"No. Just Teresa,"He confessed.

"And what did you do when we were in the mazes,"I repeated.

"The Beatles Blades,"He whispered.

"So you were a spy? While we were suffering, while my friends were dead, while I almost died that one time when I touched the fake sky, you saw all that?"

"Some of it,"He muttered, sounding like he was filled with well deserved guilt. I wonder is it's real or it's an act. Maybe because he wants me to believe him. He's good at fooling me.

"You've been lying to me. People are dead, and you sat there and watched. We were all in the freezing snow, sometimes secretly crying ourselves to sleep, which you probably saw as well, right? Did you watch while I sat against the walls and pathetically, silently sobbed?"

He stayed quiet as tears he didn't deserve to cry steamed down his face. He deserved to feel like breaking down, but he didn't deserve to do it. He didn't deserve anything.

"Did it feel nice? To stay in a place that didn't involve risking your life by running mindlessly like a lab rat? Did you like seeing the way I desperately skated the maze? How about the times the Griever's would drag away the bodies or when we'd have to kill and even banish our friends? Did you enjoy it?"I taunted, my voice low and full of venom.

When he didn't say anything I stepped forward until I was right in front of him. He trembled as he looked up at me.

"Was it nice Aris?"I repeated, dangerously calm.

"No. No. I swear. Just please, I didn't think anything would be like this. Please Y/N. Listen to me,"He begged, trying to make me look at him. I slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me,"I scowled.

"Please. I'm different now. If I could take it back I would,"He swore, now hysterical. I couldn't even look at him as I turned around and tried to leave only for him to hold my wrist and keep pleading for me to just look at him.

"If I look at you I'm going to hurt you, and I mean it. I will do what you did to Thomas and more. I will leave you looking like someone who crawled out of the Greiver hole,"I promised. Because his words may be empty but mine never will be. I will always follow through on what I say, and I will mean it.

"I don't care. Just look at me,"He begged, more sobs seeming to echo through the Berg. I pulled my arm away, and he didn't stop me.

"Please. I can't live without you,"He uttered as I walked down the hall.

I didn't stop to think about the next words that left my mouth as I turned to face him. He had dropped to the floor and had the nerve to look me in the eye as he seemed to feel some remorse for what he had done. He didn't feel remorse when he lied to all of us though. In fact, he still was. He has trapped us for years.

Maybe if he had admitted everything to me from the start I could have found some middle ground. He didn't though. He had sat there and acted like a terrified Blondie as Beth kept saying we should banish him. She had said from the start he was bad news. Several other girls had.

And what did I do? I protected him. I had even saved his life in the maze, and he had essentially been spitting in my face. He had used me. Maybe me falling in love with him was another sick part of his plan. It wouldn't surprise me anymore. Nothing would.

That's why I said what I said next.

"Then, die."

He clapped a hand over his mouth as he started to cry harder.

"You look more pathetic than I did believing you. You sit there and bawl your eyes out. It will never make me come back to you. Each tear you shed only makes me despise you more because I did that so many nights. I cried and cried while I thought about if I had a family, friends, or even I was in some twisted prison, and you know what you did?"

He just buried his face in his hands while his hysterics continued.

"You let it happen. If you truly think you need me to live then you better find a way to stop because I can't stand you. You better learn how to stop needing me because I will never love you. Aris, I hate you,"I scowled, wanting to kick him until he was covered in bruises. He had manipulated everyone, and just because he told me the truth he had some twisted expectation that I could not only forgive the betrayal, but the way he had ruined my life. Just the thought of him, the sight of him, disgusted me.

He screamed into his hand, and I heard the agony in his voice that I had caused. The part of me that had empathy, and had loved him with all my heart, almost felt remorse for all I had said. Then again that love for him was fading. With each tear another part of me hated him more.

I didn't even feel satisfied that I had successfully broke him into nothing. I didn't feel anything at all anymore. Even that hatred was replaced with this numb feeling as I looked at him. Hearing him try to muffle his cries, pleads for me not to leave him, and his yells of regret, just left me feeling sorry for him.

Everyone must have heard his screams because the others can rushing in. Well, only Sonya and Harriet.

"What happened?"Harriet asked, her confusion quickly becoming replaced with concern as she stared at the way Aris had crumpled to the floor.

I looked back at him one last time and said my final message.

"He's just throwing himself a pity party."

With that I left my worried friends in the room and my broken ex-boyfriend laying on the ground.

[virginwetrooster]

Oblivious Soulmates AU

Also known as “Dumbass (affectionate) Soulmates AU”. I promised, and I’m sorry it took me so long to write, but there it is!

After the Brooklyn battle, the Bros move into the Mushroom Kingdom, and for a while, life is simple, life is good : they're living in an awesome place for cheap, they get to do a job they love, they have made new friends and above all, they're back together, the two of them once again at each other's side.

Then everything changes when a Toad scholar politely knocks on their door. He's one of the resident experts in Power-Ups, he explains, and when Princess Peach recounted the tale of the Brooklyn Battle, she mentioned something that puzzled him deeply. See, the Super Star is quite the enigma among the power-ups : they’re extremely rare (some even theorized there’s only a set number, with each Star recharging and reappearing years later once they’re used) and not even the people keeping them know much about it. But during the battle of Brooklyn...

“How did you manage to use it?”

“We grabbed it and used it, like every power-up so far ?”

“Yes yes, but how did you manage to both use it at the same time?”

“Isn’t that how they work?”

“As a matter of fact, no. Power-ups are meant to be used by one person at a time, especially one as powerful as the Super Star. By all known rules of magic, you should not have been able to both gain its power.”

The Bros are baffled because they simply did not consider the issue. They didn’t even know about this limitation; when they grabbed the Star, the power rushed through their entire being. Nothing like any of the power-ups Mario had used so far, and even if it was Luigi’s first time using one, he simply knew what he and Mario were capable of. Unstoppable. Invincible. Like the world has slowed down and yet made sense for the first time of their lives. Reading each other’s movements without any words needed as they tore their way through Bowser’s army and brought the tyrant down.

But how did it happen then, if the power was meant to be used by one person at once ?

The scholar has a possible explanation. 

It’s widely theorized that power-ups belong in three main categories based on how they affect the user :

Body : size-changing power-ups like the Super, Mini and Mega mushrooms, Fire/Ice flowers and the like

Body + Mind : animal power-ups (Cat Suit, Tanooki) that not only change your anatomy but give you additional reflexes and behaviours

Body, Mind and Soul : only the Super Star would be able to do so, not just giving you incredible powers and insane reflexes, but affecting your entire being, including your soul, thus why it’s so powerful.

And if that’s true, then there is a possibility that the Super Star, forced to “pick” between two close people with the exact same goal and devotion to each other, cut the knot and considered them as “One”. 

In other words, merging momentarily the souls of Mario and Luigi. And there might be lingering after effects to such a fusion. Did they notice anything strange since ? Any curious effects not usually observed in humans ?

Of course the brothers protest. Surely that’s not what happened, they would have noticed if their souls became one! ...Even if they hardly remember the battle as individuals, they had been synchronized like never before, perfectly aware of each other’s presence and movements. But that was just adrenaline, right ?

As for the secondary effects...

They’re always aware of where the other is or feels ? Well that’s your typical twin sense, obviously ! Nevermind that it has never been as sharp before, they figured it was due to the stress of being separated when they first came here

They can move in perfect harmony even without looking at each other ? They’ve always shared a bedroom, manoeuvring small spaces without elbowing your brother is a required skill

They occasionally feel “random” bursts of emotions that aren’t their own? Doesn’t everyone experience that ? Also, yes, they know it’s from the other twin but that’s obviously because they know each other so well.

Still, they are a bit worried that the Star did affect them, so when the scholar asks them if they would agree to some tests and experiments, it doesn’t take long for the brothers to agree.

(Mario is reluctant, actually; all this talk about experiments sounds like the kind of things that ends up with being locked in secret government facilities. But Luigi is devoured by curiosity; Mario doesn’t just see it, he feels how much Luigi wants to learn more about these powers despite the risk. And the worst is, he knows if he refused, Luigi would swallow down his interest and follow Mario’s lead. But who is he to deny anything to his beloved little brother ?)

The tests turn out to not be that bad; it’s mostly trying out various power-ups and running training courses with them to see what sticks. Luigi is having the time of his life learning how to use them, and for some reason some power-ups don’t react the same with him ?? (Mario : “how come you get to be a FOX when I’m a RACCOON ?? That’s not fair ?” Cue evil little brother cackling).

During one of these trainings sessions, Mario tries out the Double Cherries and finds himself staring at a perfect copy of himself. Once the initial surprise is overcome, the two Marios share a grin and grab Luigi for a good ol’ ticke session.

Luigi shrieks and struggles, until he accidentally kicks the Cherry copy hard enough to make it disappear. Both brothers freak out, especially Luigi who thinks he’s killed Mario. Mario engulfs Luigi in a full body hug to calm him down...

And through the skin-to-skin contact, they suddenly feel something.

Like a deep breath after coming to the surface, like getting home after walking in the cold all day; a deep sense of comfort and feeling whole. And a desire to have more.

They quickly snap out of it and don’t mention it to anyone. But in the following days, they can’t think about anything else, and finally pay attention to what’s going on. And they finally notice what was under their eyes the whole time; it’s not just their brotherly bond, a normal relationship between two separate people. No, it goes much, much deeper. Beyond articulate thoughts or words, beyond rational, beyond even their oldest instincts.

An ache, a yearning for each other.

[paintingformike]

ok but its so funny that mlevens say we’re “reaching” for every point we make when they’re the ones that have to go through insane mental gymnastics trying to come up with a narrative for some of the most unexplainable scenes/writing choices in the entire show unless seen through a byler lens.

like...the final scene? the simplest explanation is that they’re establishing a pattern of couples. any other interpretation people have to go through hoops just to make it make sense, like trying to justify why the duffers feel the need to “foreshadow” or emphasize the age groups in the show...

the triple take in the desert? the easiest way to explain it is that mike was flustered after being caught looking at will. no need to go through mental gymnastics just to rule out the romantic implications in it and how he was apparently startled cause he was “caught thinking about el” in that moment? 😭

the airport scene? literally no reason for mike to be that awkward about hugging with his best friend of 10 years unless he’s desperately trying to repress feelings, he can hug other people just fine, even someone he hasn’t seen for a year and wasn’t exactly in the best terms with throughout season 3...distance and time doesnt begin to explain that away!

the final mleven kissing scene in season 3? the cold, hard facts were that he looked confused after the kiss, his eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were literally emotionless throughout the 7 something seconds el was kissing him. trying to pass it off as initial “shock” when he had several seconds to kiss her back and he didnt show any signs of happiness even after they kissed is just POOR REASONING AND DENIAL!!

the official script saying that mike and will were having an intimate moment? sure, you could say that friends can be intimate too and keep convincing yourself that it just means they’re close...but how do you explain their intimate moment being “shattered”? i wouldn’t look so startled and caught like a deer in headlights after being interrupted out of staring at my best friend if i didn’t harbor any feelings beyond platonic for them and there’s nothing suspicious with what we were doing...also, lets face it. interrupted moments have only ever been used for romantic relationships in stranger things let alone any form of media in general, its not even speculation, its just facts.

will being in the background of every mleven scene except their fight and them shifting the focus on his emotions instead of mike and el’s? it’s a common technique used in love triangles when they want you to sympathize and root for the second love interest. constantly having will lurking in the background removes any and all intimacy in their scenes and paints them in a negative light, and if they really just wanted to portray unrequited love then they wouldn’t have him literally be in the MIDDLE of their shots, it just ruins what is supposed to be a “romantic” moment for them 😭

anyways what im trying to say is...you’re not reading too much into things and you’re just being gaslighted into thinking you are. if byler wasn’t supposed to be endgame then there wouldn’t be THIS MUCH suspicious and questionable writing choices in the first place, i can assure you that the unrequited love storyline for byler would’ve been way easier for the writers if their relationship didn’t get strained, will could still harbor feelings for mike with mike not acting weird and simply being oblivious to will’s feelings, and it would’ve still gone smoothly throughout the show. but they actively chose to write it this way and made mike’s actions suspicious so that people would question him in the first place, it would’ve been easier if they just never made him act weird and behaved like a regular best friend, heck, they didn’t even need to put this much drama and tension in their relationship. and their romance plot isn’t as hidden and buried deep into subtext as people make it out to be (it’s present in BOTH subtext and text), the fundamentals of it are just basic storytelling.

[life-despair-and-monsters-blog]

Disaster ship - "Femme Fatale and the Apex" (Jennifer x Sonya "Sonnie")

TW: Sexual references, enslavement and swearing.

Here's some disaster queers! [Also note that I did not get any faceclaims not draw at least a face for Sonya so I went for Jennifer's canon appearance and the closest thing I could find that would work as a reference to Sonya's appearance... which is the Kraang Leader's exosuit from the Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie] Anyway on with the show:

[summary explanation of choices above]

This Disaster Ship is called "Femme Fatale and the Apex", between Dicko's personal assassin/trophy blonde Jennifer (no last name) and god-complexed angry beastie lesbian Sonya who came from the question "what would have happened if Sonnie had been taken by an inter-dimensional insane scientific creature called Malvolio after the traumatic incident that destroyed her original body but left her mind alive and was enslaved to do 17 death battles for combat data?"

These two are in a tense situationship, both are women (though Sonya doesn't mind being called "it" and has fully embraced what was meant to be a dehumanizing statement), Jennifer is 25 while Sonya is 30, Jennifer is bisexual while Sonya is a lesbian. Why are these two are so problematic? Well Jennifer is a remorseless killer who has murdered plenty of people under Dicko's command, while Sonya went on a murder spree as soon as she was released from Malvolio's programming. Also she developed a god-complex during her confinement under Malvolio (a worship/praise kink as well).

How compatible are they truly? 53%. They are both horrible and kinky enough that they're perfect for each other but so horrible that they are awful for one another so its a 50/50 chance besides the fact that the only people they can stand is each other. How compatible do they personally think they are? Well Jennifer believes she really isn't that compatible with Sonya, considering the human/beastie has a very high opinion of herself and looks down on everyone but she's also a slick looking beastie with an almost monster-god like appearance and that awakens something in Jennifer that she thought she grew out of. Sonya on the other hand is just delusional and thinks their perfect for each other except for the fact Jennifer makes her take baths and doesn't get bloody enough. And when Jennifer has to keep appearances up where its like she's the boss, she doesn't miss an opportunity to boss around Sonya which both gets her off and annoys her.

The biggest complaints they have with each other? Jennifer's top two is that Sonya calls her weak (and not in a kinky way nor the degrading kink she wants) and the fact that Sonya is an absolute bitch to clean blood off because the stains just stick to the metal, so she has to spend Dicko's savings to deep clean the beastie. Sonya's complaints about Jennifer lay on two issues; she worked with a pimp (who she didn't even kill and take power from) and Jennifer spends more time looking pretty than she does getting bloody.

Both are extremely jealous of one another (for varying reasons) and get jealous when they pay more attention to someone else more than they do the other. Both are very manipulative and pull out anything they can use to keep the other. Both are extremely dangerous, though Sonya more due to the advantage of being a beastie. Though Jennifer is more prone to wandering eyes (from Sonya's perspective, Jennifer is looking for other options, but in actuality, Jennifer is just contrasting everyone from Sonya, like "tch, they don't compare to the elegance of Sonya") and is also a criminal to boot. There's also the fact that Jennifer can be rather oblivious (as in clueless about the dangers of the criminal underworld would do after finding out a woman was in power of a powerful operation like Dicko's). Sonya can be pretty absent, and is very self-absorbed.

Jennifer hasn't had any experience with love so she's quite confused when her feelings grow beyond the sexual fantasies she achieved to make reality and she's absolutely seething about it. Sonya is a mixed bag, on one hand she knows that she's in a unhealthy sense of love and thrilled about it (delusional). Sonya's reasonable side is also seething about it too, due to it being Jennifer, and she's absolutely confused on that. Jennifer ups her seductive charm to keep Sonya wrapped around her finger, though can be irritating at the wrong times, while Sonya is a mix of stoic, sappy and charming at the same time. Jennifer and Sonya cannot stop thinking about one another the moment they "met" through Malvolio. The difference is the fact Sonya hogs Jennifer's attention at any given moment while Jennifer would rather try to ignore the love epiphany. Jennifer is like a revolving door; on good days, she sees Sonya as an ally and would never think to hurt her (not just because of the disadvantage it gives her) but there are days where Jennifer is so pissed off at Sonya that she'd definitely try and intentionally sabotage their efforts out of spite and sell Sonya if she could. Sonya on the other hand, despite what she may say, is too obsessed with the fact Jennifer doesn't mind her new appearance and rather finds it attractive to the point of sleeping with her to even think of hurting Jennifer.

What was their first meeting like? Ugly. Very ugly. Not only was Sonya under voiceless enslavement with Malvolio using her to perform in the beastie death matches (with the possibility of dying) and Jennifer was the trophy girl of the pimp hosting the arena who she tried to signal for help but kept getting ignored. By the time she was released, the programming that kept her under Malvolio's control also restricted her ability to feel pain so... Sonya was not in a happy mood, and pretty much slaughtered everyone except Jennifer, Wes and Ivrina (Malvolio and Denise managed to escape through his secret tunnel/portal). Jennifer acts indifferent but she's as obsessed with Sonya as Sonya is with her. It's all about the power they hold which attracts them. They know they're relationship is more situational than well-thought out, but Sonya probably thinks their already married by the fact she's "claimed" Jennifer through bites and marks. Sonya can't really communicate a lot, but Jennifer doesn't generally overshare more than she just shares more than Sonya does. Both would hide a body with one another; hell, Jennifer hid a slaughterfest for Sonya. They're both in it to make the other worse and get more power.

Why are they together despite it all? Both are in it for common interest revenge against Malvolio, Denise and the wealthy men who look down on them. Plus Jennifer is an apologetic monsterfucker and Sonya thinks Jennifer's hot. Redeeming qualities both appreciate about one another? Jennifer appreciates Sonya's cleverness and intelligence, especially when helping her navigate being a king (or rather, queen) pin. She also admires Sonya's noble revenge against Malvolio, intending to prevent him from ruining anyone else's life permanently, which Jennifer can't help but be shocked by the fact Sonya would want to do it for those reasons. Sonya on other hand appreciates the fact Jennifer has some moral lines despite being a otherwise remorseless killer, and also that despite being vain at times, Jennifer is not lazy.

Do they get along? Sonya thinks they do, Jennifer still has problems with Sonya though. Do they have fun? Oh hell yeah they do. Do they like each other? Despite the problems and unhealthiness of their relationship, they do like each other for the person hidden underneath all the resentment and immoral attitudes they present.

Here's the template for anyone looking to release their own disaster ships.

[bruhstation]

We know Donald loves duck, but honestly would you say thier relationship is a healthy one? Especially since it’s brought to more light of ducks deeds?

What about Oliver and Douglas? Would they trust him?

I believe so. montague and donald care about each other immensely (long explanation below). though montague constantly feels conflicted between wanting to be with donald or choosing his family (as the story progresses it's leaning towards the former)

like. there's this one guy who's the insanely loyal poster child of this rich and terrifyingly influential family. and then this one scottish ginger is helplessly in love with him because he thinks him being covered in the blood of his enemies is handsome cool awesome etc. also their relationship could be considered kind of complex due to how donald's entire character and ideals is the exact opposite of the "great western" values montague's family taught him. donald is carefree, cheerful, and silly (though he's also proud of his own heritage) - the exact kind of person montague's family warns him about

when he first met donald he thinks the guy talks a lot but he slowly feels drawn to him? montague eventually realizes that he likes him, enjoys having him around, likes hearing his jokes and ideas, feels that donald is probably the only one who’s not genuinely annoyed at his constant “there are two ways of doing things” saying, and as a result is now conflicted about whether he wants to pursue donald or stay within his family's teachings. he still thinks they hate him because of that one rumor diesel spread, and to think that he's now interested in this one man who's the opposite of his family's teachings? oh boy. that's why montague does everything he can to make up for his "sins" and "wrongdoings" (for example eliminating those who tries to dirty his family's name). anyways I hope he'll realize he doesn't have to prove anything to the man that's utterly down horrendous for him

as for oliver and douglas? oliver doesn't know exactly what montague is up to (he does respect him as a diligent and sociable coworker), but he has a feeling that donald is going after a very suspicious guy. douglas is merely oblivious to everything that's going on, and oliver believe it's for the best (even though it just adds more to his horrors)

[floef-likes-everything]

MCYT Song Analysis: They Don't Know You Like I Do - Imagine Dragons

Are you ready for some emotional damage? I love myself some Imagine Dragons and boy does this song hit different if you keep the Life Series in mind while listening to it. Maybe first just listen to it without reading my little rant first, just to appreciate it (can you tell I'm a big Imagine Dragons fan? Yeah, probably)

(ps. please keep in mind this is all about the characters as opposed to the cc's of course :])

An essay on how this wonder of a song is so insanely desert duo / rancher duo / a tiny bit of flower husbands coded. We’ll go chorus by chorus and some lines are better than others, but just wait for the refrain to kick in.

He was never gonna make it Every pill he found, he'd take it Always on the edge of breakdowns But keeping it together somehow Just another cold November You called me, but I didn't answer I was so oblivious, now I'm asking for forgiveness

While this is the weaker chorus of them all, the first line is incredibly strong: ‘He was never gonna make it’. It can refer to both Jimmy and Scar, as everybody is always talking about them being prone to dying and you have the Canary Curse, of course. The lines after that are a bit more of a general vibe, but I like to relate ‘Always on the edge of breakdowns’ to the perpetual state of slight panic Jimmy is always in during the life series. We end on a banger, as ‘I was so oblivious, now I’m asking for forgiveness’ is just incredibly desert duo coded. Grian killing Scar with the creeper in 3rd life was him being oblivious and him pledging his life to Scar was Grian asking for forgiveness.

So, not the strongest of starts for this chorus, but the second one starts with one of the best lines.

For every single time I failed you I'm feeling like it's me that killed you Remembering the time they jumped you And I was too scared to help you Looking back, I can't erase it, I guess it's time to face it You never seem to know how to let it all go

‘For every single time I failed you, I’m feeling like it’s me that killed you’ does that need any explanation?! Grian and Scar are almost always connected in some way (yes, more in 3rd Life and DL of course) and I just can’t put in to words how this lyrics makes me feel. Grian DID fail Scar in DL and it got them both killed (Grian getting killed by the Warden). No, Grian, you’re not only feeling like you killed him you DID kill him. Often even, most times with intent.  

The next line can be related to desert duo, but to me it’s more rancher coded ‘Remembering the time they jumped you and I was to scared to help you’. I can’t think of anything else but Pearl, Scott, Cleo and Martyn ‘kidnapping’ Jimmy. Jimmy called out to Tango for help BUT HE DIDN’T. I mean, sure, Tango wasn’t exactly scared but I can dream alright? I don’t think something similar happened to desert duo, but I can be mistaken. It’s been a bit since I watch 3rd life lmao.

‘Looking back, I can’t erase it, I gues it’s time to face it, You never seem to know how to let if all go’ is admittedly the weakest line of the chorus, but is still very DL desert duo coded. In my mind it’s about Scar who can’t let go what happened in 3rd life, he can’t stand seeing Grian with BigB. 

Don't listen to a single word they say about you They don't know you like I do Don't listen to a single word they say about you They don't know you like I do

This, to me, is rachers / flower husbands. Maybe it’s just Jimmy coded, I’m just a big Jimmy stan alright? If you don’t get it, just read it again and then maybe just one more time for good measure. Everybody is always taking the mick out of Jimmy, in every series he is in but especially in the Life Series because he keeps on dying first. I’d like to imagine it does get in Jimmy’s mind. Despite it, Scott and Tango stuck with him. The Southeners didn’t really stick with him (which was his own fault, true) and the Bad Boys also didn’t feel the same. Now, it doesn’t apply as strongly to flower husbands as 3rd life was the first season and the Canary Curse wasn’t as much of a big deal. Tango stuck with Jimmy, however, when he didn’t have to. You had Scott who opted to team with Cleo instead of Pearl. Grian was continuously trying to get with BigB and while I love boat boys, Etho was actively trying to team with Bdubs. To me, the only truly strong pair were the ranchers. Nobody tried getting in between them and they didn’t try to break up.

Everybody saw you smiling, yeah, you were always good at hiding You were always asking questions so you wouldn't draw attention Everyone who used you, they never really knew you You're always showing up for everybody but yourself

This chorus is how I imagine Jimmy’s character. It might not be entirely cannon in all seasons, but think about it for a second. ‘Everybody saw you smiling, you were always good at hiding’, Jimmy tends to be the happy, go lucky type of person. Even when he is mad he can’t help but crack up at jokes others make. He hides how stressed he is about the possibility of dying yet again. ‘You’re always showing up for everybody but yourself’ is also a nice link to Limited Life, where he continuously throws himself into danger to try and protect Grian.

You might think ‘Floef, this is turning into a Jimmy song, you said it was also a desert duo song??’. Yeah, here comes the refrain, the best part of this flipping song.

See, I wish I could take it back, change the future and erase the past Grab the bullet out and pull you back I promise that I'd save your life like you saved mine But now it's far too late for that, and all I have is your story left to tell So let me tell it, let me tell

Read it. Read it again. Now read it with the desert duo story line in mind. Read it as if Grian is screaming this at the top of his lungs after he killed Scar. Now listen to the song (if you haven’t already) and appreciate the amazing music that goes with it.

‘Change the future and erase the past’ aka erasing the past in not killing him with the creeper, which might change the future so Grian isn’t forced to kill him again in the end.

‘Grab the bullet out and pull you back’ where the bullet is Grians fist and pulling it back meaning he never killed Scar. Or the bullet can be the creeper, whatever you prefer.

‘I promise that I’d save your life like you saved mine’ Grian didn’t really safe Scar at any occasion, other than continuously telling him to put his armor on. Scar tried, by offering his life to Grian right after he killed Bdubs. He didn’t want a fight or anything, he was ready for Grian to take his life so Grian could survive.

‘But now it’s far too late for that, and all I have is your story left to tell’ The past can’t be changed, so all Grian can do is talk about the things that happened (which is true for all seasons and winners, but still). It’s to late to make another decision, to late to change anything.

After this the song is mostly just without lyrics but I need someone to agree with me on this because MAN do I love this song.

Now, this entire refrain can also be linked to Jimmy, because Jimmy wants to change the future by not dying first yet again and erase his past deaths. The bullet can be his numerous final deaths, the arrow from 3rd life, Grian in LL, the Enderman in DL and the fall damage in Limited Life. I promise that I’d save your life like you saved mine is a nice Bad Boys reference, as Joel has said he was willing to give his life for Jimmy’s. But, you know, now it’s far too late for that so they can only talk about it.

Thanks for reading, as always :] 

[tkaulitzlvr]

REGRET - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: when a video of tom getting a little too close to another girl circulates around the internet, your confrontation sparks a heated argument between the two of you. but after tom says something in the heat of the moment, he is determined to make it up to you.

content: angst

a/n: i have risen from the dead🎀 i’m really rusty so if it‘s not up to scratch i’m sorry, ill post about why i’ve not been writing later but for now enjoy whatever this is🗣️

my eyes are glued to the small computer screen in front of me, face twisting in disgust just a little more every time the low quality video replays. it is almost nauseating, yet i can’t turn away, fixated until my features are scrunched up in an agitating mix of anger and confusion. i am hoping that the events will change the next time the video restarts, that maybe my eyes are deceiving me, but as the same scene plays out in front of me, i quickly realise that it is real, and that my worst nightmare is coming true. not much can be distinguished - whoever had taken the video clearly hadn't payed much attention to keeping their camera still, or investing in the most high-tech gear, but i can tell that it is him. his dirty blonde dreads fall just below his shoulders, hand clutching a drink, surrounded by a crowd of girls whilst flashing lights illuminate his figure every few seconds, lighting up the bustling club before returning it to darkness. he knows that he is the centre of attention, but that doesn't seem to matter to him, his focus on the small blonde to his right.

much to my frustration, the video is only a few seconds long, showing tom leaning into the girl's ear, whispering something before pulling back, a smirk etched upon both their faces. it quickly cuts off just as his hand brushes along her arm, leaving much to be imagined - far too much. though this is probably for the best, watching another second of my boyfriend touching another girl would probably drive me close to insane - if i haven't already reached that point. i can't tell when the video was taken, but it is clearly recent, most likely from one of his tour after parties. he had arrived home last week, and i had been naive enough to miss him - until now.

i hurriedly rush to turn the computer off, sure that i will throw up if i have to watch that video one more time, its existence torture for me as i question how to go about this. tom is totally oblivious, having left for the studio this morning. however as each second passes, i realise that he will be home any minute, long before the anger that courses through my veins has any chance of burning out. my jaw is clenched, breathing heavy and eyes bloodshot as they fight tears, focusing on the blank wall ahead in an attempt to hold them back. the silence is peaceful, an almost laughable contrast to the chaos that echoes within my mind, thousands of unanswered questions racing through it as i am just about ready to pack my bags and never come back, sure that i have seen enough - and the only explanation is that tom has cheated on me.

but when the front door opens, i am trapped, any plans of escaping now far out of reach as tom's soft voice sounds from downstairs.

"baby? i'm home, where are you?" he almost sounds excited to see me, and on any other day, my heart would melt. but today, it twists with dread, feeling as if it has been ripped out of my chest and stepped on. i stay put, maybe because i know the capabilities of my mind, and its tendency to place me in uncomfortable situations, or perhaps it is the nagging in my chest convincing me to delay any conversation with him for as long as is physically possible.

the realisation that i can't avoid him forever comes much faster than i had anticipated. the dull thud of his footsteps trudging up the stairs are enough to capture my attention and pull me out of whatever trance i am subject to. my back falls back against the bed, shoulders slacking with the intent of looking as relaxed as possible, even if the current situation is the exact opposite. i wince when his presence makes itself known, attempting to conceal the uneasy look settling across my face.

"schatz, there you are." there’s no ill intent in his voice. infact it is sickly sweet, laced with an all-too innocent sense of security that on any other day would gravitate me towards him. this part of his day, when he would trudge into bed tiredly, was reserved just for me, for us, and it was something that we both looked forward to. but now it has fizzled out on my end, an excruciating discomfort habituating in its place, becoming harder to ignore with each passing second. the seemingly rigid walls into tom’s heart visibly crumble as he lets his guard down, his tired frame sinking into the soft mattress.

he leans his head against my arm, the limb tensing slightly in response to his touch. it feels wrong. how many other women felt him this close? the thought alone brings a sharp stab to my chest, its non-existent blade twisting within at the almost sickening idea of the same hands touching anybody else. with difficulty, i lift my arm up, heaving it to rest loosely across my torso. from the rigidness of my movement, tom senses that something isn’t right. whether it be impulse or a craving to feel me against him, he readjusts himself, grasping at any opportunity to weave himself even closer, my stiff demeanour offering him the upper hand.

the concept of control seems completely out of grasp now. although unaware, tom tears every remnant of serenity from my still frame, forcing me to follow his gaze and finally look into those eyes. his lips tug into a soft smile at the eye contact, pointer finger aimlessly grazing my lips. though emotionless, he appears to miss the look on my face, far too occupied with his own desires, no matter how light-hearted they seem.

“you have no idea how much i’ve missed you.” he mumbles against me, but when i dodge the kiss that he tries to place on my cheek, he finally pulls himself out of his selfish trance and realises that things aren’t as perfect as he had thought.

"hey, give me a kiss." his voice boarders the waters of hurt and confused, eyebrow furrowed with his eyes scanning my own desperately. when i don’t respond, he misjudges my silence for compliance, leaning downward to plant a soft kiss onto my lips. i don't reciprocate, remaining motionless, eyes wide open as he wraps his arms around me. he presses his lips harsher onto mine, desperation the clear motivator of his hurried movements. it quickly fades into concern when he realises the still lips that his own try to move against. breaking apart and surrendering his desire, he finally captures the hurt etched upon my expression, eyes trailing off into the blank wall behind him. he remains on top of me, his hand reaching to cup my cheek gently, the touch providing the exact opposite of consolation - instead allowing the bitter taste of resentment to settle along my tastebuds in place of his tender kiss. another woman felt those hands against her.

"look at me. what's wrong? did i do something?" his eyes scan mine desperately, feverishly attempting to fathom reasoning for my sudden standoffishness, all whilst his thumb rubs slow and soft circles along my cheek, an action which doesn't go unnoticed.

"did you think i wouldn't find out?" my jaw clenches, eyes narrowing as i finally push his body away. his confusion only intensifies as he collects himself as quickly as he can, scrambling to stand up and reduce our distance once again. his figure towers over mine, clearly failing to grasp the hint that i practically throw at him. if my actions aren’t able to spell it out for him, my words make what i want crystal clear.

“don’t touch me.”

though subtle, i notice the way he winces at my words, choosing to let them go for the time being. "what? baby what are you talking about? find out about what?" his chest rises up and down, expression totally readable, so much that i can sense his every thought, and it is terrifying. each second of silence thickens the already heavy air, so much that a heaviness begins to set in my chest.

i say nothing, instead walking toward the computer and switching it on. the screen lights up, the all too familiar video resuming from the point that i had left it. i grit my teeth, tempted to punch the screen and tom, both ideas becoming increasingly appealing. i turn to face him, remaining calm in spite of all brutal urges screaming out from within me, deciding to put them to bed.

"see for yourself. i'm sure you'd love a reminder of your little fling. she's very pretty, i'll give you that." his mouth opens to say something, quickly shutting with the realisation that he doesn’t have any words - none that would make the situation any better, anyway.

"shit, the paparazzi." he mumbles under his breath, massaging his temples a couple times before shutting the computer off, his eyes darkened as an unrecognisable look takes over. “schatz that isn't what it looks like, i promise you-"

"really? so i haven't just witnessed by boyfriend cheat on me with some blonde whore? you tell me you missed me? you seem to have got on swell without me.” my instinctive sarcasm soon burns out, replaced with an unexpected sadness, one that makes it next to impossible to remain composed.

"jesus christ. i wouldn't ever cheat on you. i don't even know who she is, georg said that he knew her so we let her hang out with us for the night. nothing happened, nothing at all. i love you and only you." he begins to get more defensive, voice raising slightly as he tries once again to move closer to me, an effort that even he knows is futile.

"what so you whisper in everyone's ear like that? you touch everyone's arm like that? you smile at everyone like that? i’m not as stupid as the whores you take to bed.” his excuses are almost laughable, and if my heart didn't feel so heavy with the realisation that he hasn't stayed faithful, i would probably laugh. my composure is deceptive, this soon coming to light with the coming of tears along my waterline.

"no, baby, please don't cry." he starts, protective instincts taking over in spite of the situation, his own eyes becoming glassy. when i shoot him a glare he knows to step back, though it is clear he wants nothing more than consoling me, as he usually would. now it is different, when he is the fuse that ignites this entirely fucked up situations "look, that's the only time i spoke to her the whole night. we were making a joke about georg, that's all."

"you must be kidding." my brows raise, searching his eyes for any hint of amusement, quickly understanding that he is being completely serious, this realisation only angering me more. “you know what? i’m leaving.” i attempt to move past him, struggling to progress even a few steps forward when he grabs my wrist, pulling me back in front of him. he is far too strong for me to put up a proper fight, but that doesn't stop me from trying my body tenses as i pull back, his grip only tightening, proving my efforts as worthless.

"can you just listen to me? i get that it looks bad but you're really overreacting here. Ive told you that nothing happened, why can't you just trust me?" he is no longer sympathetic. instead, his voice holds an anger within it that takes me aback slightly, his change in persona almost frightening. though his sudden defensiveness only alerts my suspicions more, silently reaffirming the fact that he has cheated, even if his words tell otherwise.

"trust you? fucking trust you? i have trusted you! and look where its gotten me. do you know how hard it is to have your boyfriend leave for months? no contact besides from a ten minute call every day, not a kiss, a hug, nothing! and this is what i see from your tour. what the fuck am i supposed to do with that?" i raise my voice, its harshness mirroring tom's as i finally manage to writhe myself out of his grip, now standing a few feet away from him. he clenches his jaw, looking to the side as silence takes over, its presence only brief however, soon destroyed by the sound of his voice, far louder than it had been through the course of the argument.

"i'm sorry that i don't have a normal career, okay? i've told you so many times that i don't have eyes for anyone else. every single night on tour i go back to the hotel early, because i miss you! and you can't even trust me!" he stops suddenly, almost as if he is contemplating his next words, enduring a silent battle between his mouth and his heart, knowing that both are leading him in different directions. i wait for his response, noticing the way that his expression darkens, eyes refusing to meet my own.

"well? that's all you have to fucking say? you seemed pretty comfortable with her. do you know how much that hurts? why am i not good enough for you?"

"stop it. you know you're good enough for me. don't say shit like that." he is quick to cut me off, his voice laced with disbelief, clearly failing to understand how i could come to such a conclusion.

"do i? seeing shit like that pretty much reminds me why i'm not-"

"look, maybe if you weren't such an insecure bitch then this wouldn't be a problem!" my face drops, lips parting slightly as i pray that my ears deceive me, creating their own truth, one distorted and far from reality. i stay silent, far too astounded to produce any witty comeback, or even look into his eyes. the silence between us is louder than any words spoken, and even more painful than those left unsaid. when i quickly take a glance at him, he realises his mistake just as fast as he had spoken. regret flashes across his face, his expression softening as he walks toward me. i nod slowly, far too defeated to argue back, wrapping my arms around my small frame and walking past him, my entire body shaking slightly as i sob.

"fuck- i didn't mean that. i'm so sorry, god i'm sorry baby." he spews out incoherent apologies, though i am far too hurt to comprehend them, instead tuning them out as i walk out of the room, closing the door harshly behind me.

it doesn’t take long for him to follow, his hurried pleas sounding from behind me. i am far too angry to listen, rushing down the stairs and into the hallway, scrambling for the nearest pair of shoes that i can find. his rambling quickly turns from frantic to desperate when he picks up on the reality of the situation, soon understanding that we are far beyond a kiss and an apology to resolve this.

“wait, hold on schatz. can we please talk about this? don’t leave me, please. i love you so much.” he tries to conceal the small sob that escapes his lips, but i notice it, the almost inaudible sound enough to make me reconsider my choices. but when his arm wraps around my wrist, though not with enough pressure to hurt, i know that forgiving him would be stupid.

“let go of me. i’m leaving for a while. do whatever you want, i don’t care.” my voice is surprisingly calm, the coarseness within it somehow washing away with each shallow breath i take. but the softness of my tone doesn’t match the strength of my movements as i yank myself from his grasp, reaching for my keys and clutching the door handle before he can stop me. i hesitate for a moment, taking a second to look back at him as he continues to spew out his apologies, mixed with incoherent promises that he loves me, along with his own tears that begin to fall from his eyes.

“bye tom.”

please come home, i’m so sorry - 8:35pm

baby? - 8:35pm

i love you so much - 8:36pm

i promise i didn’t cheat - 8:36pm

can we talk about this? - 8:37pm

please tell me you’re safe - 8:39pm

sure, tom and i had arguments just as every couple did. but when i showed up at my best friend’s house, makeup smudged and eyes bloodshot, she knew that this one was more than just a disagreement on who’s turn it was to make dinner. it was obvious that she had questions, but my delirious state was enough of a motive to save those for another time, instead choosing to rush me inside and wrap me up in blankets on her small couch, insisting that we order takeout and watch movies until i calmed down.

“he’s still texting you?” she questions, referring to my phone vibrating yet again, as it had been for the past hour. i nod my head weakly, body sprawled across her couch, shuffling over to make room for the small brunette beside me. she offers a sympathetic smile, handing me a pint of ice cream and sinking into the cushions.

“i’m sorry.” she says, reaching over and pulling me into a hug, noticing the glassy sheet that forms over my eyes, squeezing me even tighter. “boys are assholes.”

i nod in agreement, hearing my phone vibrate once again, this time not even taking the time to look at the message. they had gotten pretty predictable as they became more frequent - either telling me that he loves me, or that he wants me to come home.

“you’re welcome here as long as you need, okay?” she fills in the silence, recognising that all i need is consolation right now, creating a conversation not on the top of my list of priorities. i mutter a small thank you, feeling my eyes becoming heavy.

the beginning of a new day somehow intensifies the feeling within the pit of my stomach, the exact opposite of what i expected from a fresh start. now that i have settled down, the reality of it all feels like a fresh wound, one that i can’t envision myself ever healing from. though any time to endeavour into the complex puzzle of my emotions is drowned out by the all too familiar sound of my phone vibrating, and this time i have lost every ounce of self-control, reaching over to the small device embarrassingly fast. the bright light emitting from the screen causes my eyes to squint as i adjust, vision slowly clearing to reveal at least a hundred unread text messages, each one from tom. my sympathetic nature gets the better of me, a wave of guilt taking over as his messages spring from concerned, to apologetic, to borderline insane at my disappearance. i groan internally, quickly realising that i can’t hide forever, no matter how much i convince myself that it is the safer option.

luckily the task of getting myself ready to go back home isn’t a particularly long one. my jeans begin to dig into my sides, a rather unpleasant yet convenient reminder that i am still wearing the same clothes as the day before. quiet snores from the bedroom alert me to sleeping body of my friend, a small chuckle leaving my lips at the sound. i decide against disturbing her, instead scribbling a messy note and sticking it on the fridge, hoping that she’ll understand.

- going back home, thank you for all ur help. i’ll keep you updated, love you

the house is silent as i enter it, the lack of noise almost eerie though short lived when i place my keys on the table, the metal clattering with a small thud. there is no sign of tom, not even the sound of a tv from the living room, or the quiet sizzle of fresh food, indicating that he is making breakfast as he would every morning. though it seems that i hadn’t entered as quietly as i had hoped, the sound of tom’s steps, quick and erratic, echoing from the kitchen, getting louder and louder until he is standing in front of me.

our distance is temporary, quickly diminished as he takes me into his arms, pressing his lips against mine with as much strength as he can muster. i only realise just how anxious he has been when his palms cup my cheeks. they are shaking, the skin cold against my own as his entire body begins to tremble, my stomach sinking. he is crying. in spite of his vulnerability, he is the first to pull away, firmly wrapping his arms around my frame and hugging me tightly.

“god i love you, i love you so much. i thought you weren’t coming back.” he struggles to get his words out, a mixture of incoherent sobs and quiet sniffles accompanying his speech. his grip only tightens, hands running up and down my back as he repeatedly kisses my hair, tears continuing to fall down his cheeks. my arms remain firmly by my side, sympathetic enough to allow him this small touch, yet no where near as forgiving to consider returning the act.

“are you okay?” he becomes worried, putting his emotions aside and finally separating his body from mine. his calloused fingers run over the smooth skin of my arms, looking for any sign of harm. even though he knows me well enough to guess that i had gone somewhere safe, his protective instincts kick in, convincing him that the worst has happened.

“i’m fine.” i mumble, releasing myself from his grip and walking into the kitchen, taking a glass and pouring myself some water, my throat dry from the strain on my voice from the night before. he quickly follows behind, taking my hand in his. he notices my hesitation, running a thumb over the back of my hand in an attempt to soothe me, and somehow, it works. seeing him in front of me brings back memories of last night, their sting still painful and effects strong with the irritating onset of tears. tom sees this just as fast as i do, reaching upward to wipe them before they are able to fall.

“i’m sorry, i’m so sorry beautiful.” he whispers, his touch so gentle i almost don’t feel it. he replaces his thumb with his lips, kissing just below my eyes, damp with evidence of my upset.

“how could you?” i mumble, voice barely above a whisper as i struggle to make eye contact, tom’s own gaze pained. his eyes are bloodshot, cheeks red and blotchy and entire body still trembling slightly. his face softens at my question, and silence takes over for a few moments.

“i know. i know how it looks. i shouldn’t have gotten so close to her, not when i have you. but i promise you that i didn’t cheat. you’re everything i want and i’d be an idiot to throw that away. you have to believe me baby.” his voice begins to break, thumb running across my cheek and eyes staring into mine, scanning desperately for any sign that i am convinced. it isn’t the most detailed nor thought out explanation, but i know him enough to see that he is telling the truth.

“okay.” i nod my head and look to the floor, swallowing harshly in an attempt to calm my shallow breathing. his fingers come underneath my chin, gently pulling it upward so that i am facing him again. the pain is still there, regret etched upon his expression as seeing the woman he loves in such a state hurts him just as much as me leaving. he takes me in his arms, lifting me up and gently kissing me again. this time i reciprocate, a small sob leaving his lips as he recognises this, his hold on me only getting tighter. the previous lack of contact had affected more than i had realised, the small reassurance of my kiss enough to crumble his usually calm temperament.

“i love you.” he whispers against me, his lips bitter with the taste of tears. that doesn’t matter to me. pressing my mouth to his as harshly as i can, my arms wrap around his neck, bringing him in even closer. he holds me so tightly, like i may slip away, the fear of losing me all too real. my small hands cup his cheeks, attempting to deepen the kiss, though doing so unsuccessfully as his voice vibrates against me. he sounds broken, his request coming out as a desperate plea, cut off by a short sob. “please say it back. you haven’t this whole time and i-”

“i love you too.” i mumble against his lips. he holds me even tighter, something which i didn’t think was possible. but considering the realms of possibility is an activity for another day. i have no time to consider anything as he kisses me once again, his touch addictive, and more than enough to make me forget everything.

[sakuraswordly]

Maya: Mr Purple Rose…Masumi-san falls in love with me and gives me encouragement in subtle ways. I fall in love with him because of that…but I know what it’s like to long for someone you can’t have. I know what being in love but not being able to be together means. I know the pain of seeing her loved one in the hands of someone else. This is forbidden love.....

Hikaru: Maya chan....

Sakura Kinomoto: You lost your real mother, your teacher and now this?!….This is so sad….It hurt so much….

Hikaru: Kinomoto-chan's right. Lantis falls in love with me, which I reciprocate. Even we came from other worlds. We can love even if he is not there right?

Mokona: This is true love…so you can love him despite the age difference so much.

Syaoran: Maya…do you think that you can't love someone when this person is still alive right now?

Chester: Syaoran........

Maya: Syaoran-san.....

Syaoran: You and he can't love but your true feeling never disappear so please don't give up. I also lost my father and my mother and….

Kamui: I lost my half-human feeling but that doesn't mean you should drown them away. The future can change. You make your own decision.

Maya: Everyone thank you so much….

Chester: Don't give up on your dream Maya. I too will not give to find who am I too.

Maya: I will Chester-san.

Watanuki: That was a nice one Kamui. I thought the only thing you cared about was Subaru, and being totally indifferent towards Syaoran and the others.

Kamui: It did slowly come to light that I care deeply towards Kotori and Fuma.

Watanuki: And Sorata?

Kamui:.............

Chester: I will help you to recover your memories, Chester-san. So please looking forward to my actress with Barbie-san!

C.C.: (Chester did say he had a little sister right? Is that how he acts to his little sister like Maya?)

Source Character:

Barbie, a fashion doll manufactured by American toy and entertainment company Mattel, has been featured in an eponymous media franchise since the late 1980s. This franchise encompasses a CGI/computer-animated film series that later expanded to other productions and media formats.

Glass Mask (Japanese: ガラスの仮面, Hepburn: Garasu no Kamen) is a Japanese shōjomanga series written and illustrated by Suzue Miuchi, serialized in Hana to Yume from January 1976, and collected in 49 tankōbon volumes as of October 2012. The story has also been adapted into anime and a live-action television series. As of 2006, the collected volumes had sold 50 million copies in Japan, making it the second best-selling shōjo manga ever. The title refers poetically to the mask of faces that actors wear - while expressing emotions that are not their own, the mask they wear (their acting) is as fragile as glass. If the actors are distracted, their masks will "break" and show on stage the actors' true feelings.

Explanation 6(Analysis)

Continue from Analysis L Change the World, how similar and different Maya and L are in their genius talent. L can read people's hearts that is his genius talent. Maya as well. To be able to wear each mask of her talent. Maya needs to understand their characters feeling and hearts. Even Normal people still can't understand their hearts even their people even their lovers. So that's why I call charisma talent. Maya is a hard person for normal people to figure out that Maya is a genius because Maya can live with normal people and friends with normal people and even fall in love. Unlike L, he is not good at being friendly with social. People said L is half autistic. But for me, I do not see him as autistic much.

This is not just acting but also understanding the character's heart.

For someone who knows Marcy Wu from Amphibia. Marcy was insanely clumsy and very oblivious. This causes her to be heavily reliant on her friends—Anne and even Sasha constantly feel the need to look out for her, and she relies on Sasha to make decisions for her. In Amphibia, she has learned to manage herself better and make independent decisions on her own without any influence from other people, although she is still fairly clumsy and sometimes dependent on Anne. Maya is the same as Marcy. She still needs her friends to help her. She's clumsy like Marcy too. The only difference was Marcy has always received straight A's in school and was an avid fan of retro video games. Maya's interest in both movies and acting is very addictive. Marcy is a hard person for normal people to figure out that Marcy is a genius too. Because Marcy also can live with normal people and be friends with normal people. They only care about what they like and stick to it in their own imaginary world, but they like to learn new things. I wouldn't say it's autistic. So why is it so hard for ordinary people to see them as geniuses? They will see it as being smart rather than genius. (Prove that Anne is good friends with Marcy. even called her a genius.)

Source Below: kennikitty.wordpress.com

So, my prediction is, Maya “wins” with her interpretation of the Crimson Goddess and they key to that is Masumi. Those two share an insepperable bond and have truly found their “one true love” in eath other, they just haven’t had the chance to live their love. Their relationship was complicated from the very beginning, when Maya was still obviously much too young to be Masumis lover and it was all about a taltented actress. Fate has been very cruel to them resulting in a very tragic love, even after they both are very aware of eath other’s feeling. Actually, I think the realization that they’re deeply in a mutual love, made it even worse, because of their difficulties being together. Maya’s extreme hardships in her relationship to Masumi will make her come out as the true Crimson Goddess and I’m sure when she’s on stage acting her part, she won’t do it for herself, or her Sensei or anyone for that matter, besides Masumi. She wants to act for him and she wants to show him her perfect Crimson Goddess and I’m pretty sure he will be moved to tears, because he’ll be the only one who’ll truly understand her acting.

In Tsofph Season 1

Barbie wanted to create a doll that would inspire little girls to use their huge imaginations and big dreams about their futures. While others told her it wasn't possible, Barbie proved them all wrong by creating the most famous doll ever. Barbie and Ken made a lot of movies. And these two became famous ballet actresses too. They have successfully made a film that connects with ballet. Barbie of Swan Lake. The story is told by Barbie to her little sister who is feeling uneasy about being at overnight camp for the first time. Odette is a young woman who lives in a small village with her father and sister and works in the family bakery. Odette is a talented dancer but is shy and timid about it. During the time Barbie was looking for a story to show the beauty of the swan lake. She met Maya mourning for her teacher who has recently passed away. Barbie received her as part of her family. Maya still studies the lead role in the legendary stage play "The Crimson Goddess" and she still wants to act this to continue her teacher dream. Barbie and Ken adore Maya so much and act like her real daughter. Maya is also happy with her new family and plays with Barbie's little sister. Barbie and Ken agree with Maya to help her with her role in the legendary stage play "The Crimson Goddess".

From xxxHOLiC Chapter 56

Watanuki and Kohane take Syaoran and Chester go to the place where they found the spirit of a woman. But they thought she was already gone but she wasn't. She appears and takes them to Maya and will reveal that she is "The Crimson Goddess". She can make the flowers of life bloom.

From Glass no Kamen (2005) Episode 49

Master Ichiren did meet her long ago. Because of that Ichiren created the story of "The Crimson Goddess". Barbie and Maya go adventure with the Syaoran group in a short time to help Maya with what she really wants with this role. For her teacher or herself.

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Hayami: I'm back Maya.

Maya: Welcome back….Mr. Purple Rose…

[phoebehalliwell]

I need u to explain something to me

Phoebe forgave Cole when he spent the whole season 3 trying to kill her because « Balthazar did it » and Cole «changed » (🤷🏻‍♀️). Like Balthazar and Cole were two differents entities and Cole was a victim (I used to think that was bullshit and Cole should have been killed in s3.) Phoebe was even dating him when he was a demon using his power for « good »

So Why did phoebe was so hell bent on killing him in s05 and say that he was evil when he was infected by the Source ? You could argue that Cole and the Source were also two entities ? And that he was under the influence of the Source / a victim ?

In s05,He even tried to use his demonic powers for « good », exactly like S3. I guess i don’t get why in s03, Cole was a « innocent That had to be saved » but in s05 he had to be killed ?

SHORT ANSWER:

LONG ANSWER: 2k under the cut

pt i - 1k so out of universe explanation like as we moved into s4 the show really favored these long overarching plotlines as opposed to something like s2 which really didn't have any big plot just vibes. inching back a lil further i think in s3 the introduction of a demon love interest was really like. like kinda bound to happen now that we've given pleo their type of happily ever after the will they won't they is over the heavens forbid it is over now we need another relationship to add a bit of spice to the mix and what better than like. a demon? so you run phole and they're kinda. your main source of drama consistently throughout the season yes there's the vague looming threat of the source but really it's phoebe and cole weaving together thru these episodes putting meat on these bones. i think the first faux-vanquish was bound to happen, because like the relationship is still so fresh and you haven't even got to the demon-tries-to-be-good point yet you're still in the heat and angst of betrayal like baby. there are still miles to go here. there's no way you're ending this yet. (which like. yeah i agree like. in universe cole totally should have been killed in s3. also out of universe bc like. i can't say i was hella in love with what was going on over there lmao. whoops.)

anyways. we hit season 4 and you have cole being good demon! yeah! but this whole time you kinda know what you're leading up to like the source is being name checked a bit too much here chekhov's demon if you will if the source doesn't actually you know fuckin show up and try to kill them this season well then what the fuck is he doing? but then. what do you do once u kill the source like end ur show r u joking moniee baby let's add some drama ooh u know what what if cole the demon became the source. which i think like. you need someone to become the source someone close to them and you can't do a sister (or can you?) because u need the power of three also what r u gonna kill a sister and you can't really do leo just because you've made him such a softboi healer kind emotional type. but u know who's dark n mysterious with an evil past who is very much tied up in the lives of our girls? cole.

so i think like from the beginning they knew they were doing source cole because how do u pick between the love of ur life and ur sisters the drama so on so forth i think they knew they needed phoebe married to cole before they went all in because you really need that he’s family too pull. but out of universe for the life of me i cannot tell if they were implying cole was actually evil or not. my personal conspiracy theory is that some people in the writers room were like cole is misunderstood and really trying to be good and others were like okay he was underworld’s top demon for 100 years maybe reflect on that?? and both these views are heading towards the same goal (source!cole) but have different opinions on who cole is beyond that plotline. but idk!

and then as a personal opinion i think the source plotline really bogged down s4 like. :/. and i think the show kinda felt that too that this wasn’t really sustainable the show is charmed after all named after the charmed ones if you have a show where there are just two witches one of them’s trying to kill their sister the other just got here and then our third sister is like. queen of hell, but is kinda being a bimbo about it (respectfully) like. that’s not charmed. it could be A Show, but it’s not this show, which i repeat. is charmed. which i think is why they immediately backtracked on the s5 intention to do Phoebe: Queen of Hell and then like snorted a line and powered out the quickest way to get phoebe back in the fold, to which the conclusion was: him or us. the whole core of the drama how do you pick between the love of your life and your sisters like. better decide the answer. you only get one. and obvi it’s gotta be the sisters; again: this is charmed also you already played your back pocket half-sister card you only get to use that move once. which means. sisters have been chosen. cole has to go.

but!! everyone loves cole everyone loves phoebe and cole they’re the ones bringing like. the heat the passion the sex appeal because respectfully piper and leo Are Not they’re the domestic fantasy and paige just got here so she’s not really ready to shoulder that burden quite yet. so like. phoebe and cole am i rite. let’s bring back cole. but u already had phoebe definitively chose her sisters you already had them vanquish cole you can’t really revert back to the same him vs them thing that powered s4 because you already know the answer. (i guess. again this is all just speculation i was not there when this was happening i was 5. wait actually. okay yeah s5 started airing in september 2002 i was 2. lmao.) but you’ve brought cole back what are you going to do with him what’s his main motivation. well. his motivation at first was kill phoebe. then it was i’m in love with phoebe. like it’s always been phoebe. so clearly it must be phoebe again. cole will do anything!! to get back phoebe. but it’s too late. phoebe has already made the irrevocable decision to be with her sisters. so therefore. cole will be obsessed with her and she will reject him at every turn. we’re gonna give cole a lot of screentime in this futile and cringe chase for love tho why? bc julian <3 what a guy. hey should he date paige?

pt ii - 1k and then an In Universe explanation let’s get started. phoebe has had no longer term relationships. definitely no on screen ones. the closest thing we got to any implication of serious romance was clay in s1. she didn’t get anywhere w eric bc his mind got wiped, the cupid was obvi a no-go from the beginning, and billy Isn’t Real. so this relationship with cole is really like the first serious relationship she’s had in a minute and she fell hard and she fell fast, but could you blame her? cole was literally her perfect guy he built himself to be Literally her perfect guy. and when you find out your perfect guy is a demon like. how do you rationalize that. because quite frankly he has had many opportunities to kill you can he hasn’t so like. he can’t be that bad. it can’t all be fake. you really hope it’s not all fake. and then, like, of course, there’s the belthazor element. like. he literally has a demon form. turns big red and scary. phoebe’s no demonologist. i’m sure she can just rationalize that as a jekyll and hyde situation cole is just some innocent strapped along for the hellish ride manned by some evil beast. but around her, he can conquer that demon. because that’s a demon. belthazor’s a demon. cole is a human cole is good cole is an innocent and he had no power over those things. so i think that’s the mentality that phoebe really carried thru to s4, and then cole becomes human. and then cole becomes the source, but you don’t know it. and cole really tries to fight the source when he’s with her you know true love is the greatest force blah blah blah so like. odds are phoebe doesn’t notice. a) we’re still kind of settling into the “new cole” because he hasn’t been demon-free well, like, ever, so u need to figure out what that looks like and then b) now that he doesn’t have his jekyll-side or whatever you two are free you can be in love and god do you want to be in love you want something that’s yours something to hold on to because lately it kind of seems that everything you love is being ripped away so god please can you just have this one thing that’s yours. so i think phoebe really overlooked any signs of cole’s source possession. she only saw cole. her cole. the man she loved. Which Means When Shit Really Hit The Fan, phoebe doesn’t see this as the source possession finally taking over she has no idea of the internal battle cole has been facing inside himself (and then not to mention phoebe is also kinda drugged up rn on pure evil so we’re not in the Best headspace) phoebe kinda just seeing this as the mask being ripped off. all the clues she’s been ignoring over the past couple months have been finally exposed: cole is evil. (which: the clues actually read as cole is possessed By evil. but who’s gonna tell her that? the seer? no one else knows if anyone should know it’s phoebe but she was so busy trying to pretend everything was perfect that she was finally gonna get to be happy that she missed the source living right under her nose so. whoops.)

and then entering s5 i think phoebe keeps with the mentality that cole was actually evil this whole time. like she didn’t know he was possessed she didn’t know when this possession started so the natural conclusion is cole is just Like This and she’s a bimbo. blinded by love. and i think this really starts to backtrack and put everything else in a negative light because like. had she not been trying to save cole prue wouldn’t have died. also. cole never explicitly told her that belthazor was a separate entity. she had just assumed. because she thought she knew him. but clearly she didn’t because he was the fucking source of all evil and she couldn’t tell because evidently she didn’t know cole at all. he and belthazor were probably just one and the same. he let her believe that, let her see what he wanted to see, so he could have what he wanted. her. all to himself. no one else no other life but him. and i mean again who’s gonna refute that i think phoebe really builds up an echo chamber in her head calling herself and idiot calling cole evil and promising to never fall for it again that by the time cole shows up ready to give it one last shot at good, phoebe’s like no. i’ve seen what you are before. and i’m not gonna get another sister killed i’m not gonna fall for evil again. because!! cole trying to be good in s5 looks the same as cole trying to be good in s3 s4. cole being in love with phoebe in s5 looks the same as cole being in love with phoebe in s3 s4 (actually it’s a lil bit more bonkers and possessive but u get the point). and this is because he was! he was in love with phoebe he was trying to be good, but phoebe, post-source!cole almost killing her sisters, has reached to conclusion that cole that whole time was consciously evil, because she was never able to tell the difference between her cole and source!cole, given the fact he always actively suppressed that side around her. around her, cole never changed, despite getting progressively more evil to the world around him, because his love for phoebe fought it off. which really was the downfall. because if she had seen the markers and seen him as something other than her cole, maybe this whole thing could have been salvaged. but she was blinded by her love for roughly like what. two three months? and in her head reached the conclusion that she was actually blinded by love the entire time. so rather than fall for that again she just kept her eyes shut.

[saidrabbles]

Hello! I just want to say that your Park Joong-Gil fics are AMAZINGG!! ❤️❤️. I hope you continue writing more fics on him! 😃😃

I have a request, could you do Park Joong-Gil fluff imagine where he and reader have a lot of romantic attraction between each other and reader is like extremely flirty and likes to tease him all the time...and one day the feelings just explode and they end up confessing.

hiiiiii anon !!! when i first read your comment on my work i was so happy, it truly means alot to me; thank you !! im sorry it took me so long to finish your lovely request; i hope you like it !! <3

fiery heart

you groan as you stretch your strained arms above your head, feeling exhausted. it was another long day, sitting at your office desk, reading paper after paper. you were responsible for proofreading papers for mistakes before they get published.

as you lower your arms, you notice a pair of sharp yet soft eyes stare at you from a distance. it was your manager, park joong-gil. he was responsible for your team, that is known in almost all of jumadeung. mostly because everyone gushes over his physique and sharp yet gentle features, but also because you're one of the highly skilled teams in the whole company.

you hold his eye contact, and subtly smirk. but he sees it. and it gets him fired up on the inside. he can't deny the attraction he feels towards you - you've been driving him crazy. being the careful guy all his life, he doesn't quite know what to do with his feelings.

he's not sure if you feel the same; but from the flirty gestures and words you've been throwing at him these days, he feels like you're feeling the same way as well. but then again, he's noticed you're naturally the flirty type. from the way you joke w others, hitting their arms playfully when you're laughing too hard; to when you hide your head behind your teammates when you're embarrassed.

you're driving him insane. and without his permission, you've become the air he breathes. what he wasn't aware of was that you've been trying to show your interest in him for a long while now - but hes still oblivious...or is he acting like it?

you get up from your seat, never breaking eye contact with your said crush love, as you walk up to his desk. the desks arrangement is pretty cozy, all are facing one another, with the managers desk set at the end, in the middle of all the other four. you put the papers on his desk, giving him a gentle smile.

'these are all the submissions for today's publishing queue.' he feels his heartbeat quicken as he hears your voice. he pretends to go through them, his mind unable to concentrate. 'good work. i like the way these have been edited.' 'well, if you like this, then you'll like me as well.' your lips slipped before your mind could process what you've said.

you both freeze, feeling your thoughts run through your mind. you clear your throat, and slowly retreat back into your desk chair.

you've definitely gone crazy. that's the only explanation for your fearless confession. you wanted to disappear right then and there.

great...now he thinks I'm self-obsessed.

you unconsciously started avoiding him for the rest of the day, your embarrassing conversation running around your head. you just wanted the day to end so that you can run away from him.

after seemingly long hours, your work for the day has finally ended. you try pack your things as quickly as you can without anyone noticing, but he noticed. because while you were avoiding him, he didn't take his off of you. your vague confession lingered on his mind, and he didn't want you to go home before he asked you about it.

you finally left the office, feeling like you can breathe again. before you reach the elevator button, you felt a large hand hold yours. you turn to see the one and only person you've been trying to avoid all day. 'can i talk to you?' he looks at you nervously. not feeling ready for his confrontation, you refuse. his hold on you tightens, not letting you go. 'please don't run away from me.' he says as you feel your chest tightens.

you let out a shaky breath as you reluctantly agree. he takes you to an empty room, as he readies his heart. even if you didn't feel the same, he has to tell you before it's too late. "i think...i like you. no," he shakes his head "i know that i love you" he sits on the black leathered chair, trying to get ready for what's coming. "i know that you probably don't feel the same, that you're like that with everyone. but unlike everyone, my heart couldn't help but beat a little faster around you." he let's out a deep sigh.

you blink a few times, trying to wrap your head around what he just said. you point at him, then slowly point at yourself, mouthing a "you? me?" forgetting his nerves, he lets out a small laugh. you can't help but feel your heart melting at his nervous smile and the way he's looking at his hands, like he's preparing himself for something. did he think you were going to reject him?

'you know, the only reason i learned how to flirt is to woo you. you've always had your walls high up, leaving no gaps for me to get to your heart.' he froze. he feels his chest tighten, like he's been holding in too much, alot more than his heart could handle. 'i just never knew how to ask you out. a tiny voice in my head kept telling me how you'll never see me that way.' he looks at his large hands, a vein popping up from the upper part of his hand.

you walk closer to him, and crouch down to look at him closely. 'just say the word and im yours, joong-gil.' he could've sweared his heart jumped out of his chest, ran laps around the tiny room, and went back into his chest. 'i love you.' he holds your face in his hands, bringing it dangerously close to him. 'i love you, (y/n). im so insanely in love with everything that you are'

you both feel your hearts form a symphony from their loud sounds, as he closes in the space between the two of you. he keeps pulling you closer, afraid to let go, afraid that this is all a dream. you are barely able to pull back, feeling his firm hold on you. "i love you, joong-gil" you breathe out. he caresses your soft cheeks with his thumb so gently, you feel like you're finally home. "will you be mine, (y/n)?"

you've only heard him say that to you in your dreams, so for him to say it right here and now felt so surreal to you. "i already am yours" as you lean into him to be engulfed in the warmest hug you've ever felt. you don't know how long you stayed like that, because by the time you left the building, the night sky was shining over you.

[chosonore]

part five | sonorous

sonorous [adjective. full, deep, or rich said of sound]

pairing: kamo choso/f!reader

summary: falling in love with choso was a gradual and slow process, creeping up on you so inconspicuously that you don’t realize until the feelings hit full force. he’s become a constant in your life, your sun, your home. but does he return the feelings?

wordcount: 6.7k

content/warnings: roommates au, friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life, mentions of alcohol, language, some pining but not really, the amount of oblivious reader and choso will kill you, slow burn, characters are aged up if not already obvious, lowercase intended, [UNEDITED]

a/n: i don't even know where to begin with thanking you for your immense patience - it took me so long to write and post this and i am so insanely grateful for everyone who is still sticking around in anticipation but also for all the new readers! it warms my heart to know that people are so invested. with that being said, i want to apologize for the long wait - unfortunately, writer's block is a bitch and my second to last semester at uni wasn't easy either. rather than forcing myself to write this chapter and potentially ruining the good energy of this fic, i chose to wait it out until i felt better and could channel the energy into writing. simply because this fic has such a special place in my heart. and to all the people that have sent me asks, comments or replies; i'm so sorry i haven't gotten around to replying to them :( but be assured that i read them all and appreciate them a lot.

while writing this, i listened to banks' holding back a lot and i feel like you guys would enjoy it too. the song manages to make you feel so in love with life, with a partner that you might or might not have yet and fills you with so much warmth and i hope you enjoy!

previous - masterlist - next

you woke up with a start, the alarm of your phone blaring in your ear from where you’d dropped it. having fallen asleep with the phone in your hand as you talked to choso, you hadn’t been able to place it back on the nightstand, nor did you remember to turn off the alarm that had rudely woken you. disoriented, you struggled to turn the alarm off, chucking the phone into another corner of the bed. huffing in frustration, you turned your back to the window, shielding yourself from the blinding sunlight. oddly enough, you felt giddy and awake despite the exhaustion still clinging onto your bones. perhaps it wasn’t as odd as you perceived it to be - you felt refreshed after having talked to choso the previous night.

it felt good knowing that things were okay between you, as okay as can be. you acknowledged that you had treated him horribly after what had occured; it wasn’t like he planned for it and sometimes, things just happened. not everything was in your control and that was okay. but it didn’t give you the right to act so distant and avoidant towards him without giving a proper explanation. the little vacation gave you an opportunity to clear your head and gather your thoughts and feelings for him, maybe you could even muster up enough courage to confess.

even if choso had confirmed that he didn't hold any grudges, you still felt bad. he was a good person, only wanting the best for others and despite giving him the advice to talk to you about any problem, you couldn't even do the same. what a hypocrite you were.

and though you were okay with letting go of the feelings, no matter how long it took and how hard it would be on you, you couldn’t shake the budding glimmer of hope that was planted in your heart. your cheeks warmed at the thought of the little kiss that he’d planted on the crown of your head before you left. at this point, you were sure: it wasn’t your imagination, it did happen. quickly, your rationale was pushed to the back of your mind. the conflicting thoughts about how his actions contradicted the theories you’d crafted in your head were long forgotten. though it was such a small gesture, you felt so warm and comforted just thinking about it.

would you dare to believe that he could possibly like you back? no matter how much you twisted and turned your thoughts to adjust to a narrative that told you that choso couldn’t possibly like you back, all reasoning came back to one conclusion: taking all previous circumstances and how close you had gotten over the course of time into consideration, there had to be a smidgen of feelings there. whether it might be platonic or romantic love, that was something you’d eventually figure out. you twisted the pillow in your arms, hugging it to you tightly as you thought about how you missed him already. it made you feel foolish and yet excited at the same time, looking forward to the day that you'd return from your vacation.

his confession still rang in your ears, of how he missed you and liked to hear your voice - it slowly solidified your resolve to confide in him, to let him know that your feelings for him, albeit a small bud, were steadily growing and blooming. springing forth from your heart, filling up veins and lungs, they filled up the entirety of your being. and whether he would reciprocate your feelings or not, you would love him all the same.

moping around would help you get nowhere, it would only plant seeds of doubt and ill feelings, furthering the resentment that you felt towards yuki. you knew it was childish to feel that way but it wasn’t something you could help, not until you properly processed your thoughts and feelings. yet, you didn’t know whether you had the strength or courage to confront yuki about it. her presence was overwhelming you, pushing its way into your comfort zone and wanting to make itself known. you couldn’t welcome it while you were conflicted about the situation. perhaps you could avoid it and talk to choso instead…? no, that wasn’t it either.

your trail of thoughts was rudely interrupted by nobara’s aggressive banging to the door and her yelling for you to get out of bed. “you promised you’d go shopping with me today,” she reminded you before swinging the door open. she stood proudly at the door frame, hands propped up on her hips as she looked at you with disdain. she narrowed her eyes on you, probably not happy about seeing you still wrapped up in your blankets and unmoving. at that moment, you briefly wished you possessed the strength and assertiveness that nobara naturally had, that you could carry yourself with the same confidence. it would give you the ability to face your problems head on, instead of mulling over them for so long.

“you forgot about it, didn’t you? come on, i don’t know when i will ever get the opportunity to come here again and i saw some pretty cute boutiques too,” nobara rolled her eyes and tugged at your blanket, unraveling you from the cocoon. “and you will buy cute clothes too, can’t let my friend going around like this. we gotta impress your potential boyfriend after all.”

you snapped out of your thoughts as the cold air hit your skin, almost as if it cleared the foggy landscape that was your mind. still tangled up in your blankets, you struggled to hurl one of the pillows at nobara who simply laughed and dodged. “he isn’t my boyfriend!” you hissed at her and threw another one in hopes of hitting her. “and would you pipe it down? i don’t want yuuji to hear and come in here to question me about it.”

“you say that like you didn’t just yell that out either,” nobara retorted smugly as she picked up the pillows and placed them on the armchair near your bed.

“ugh,” you planted your face in the mattress, in an attempt to hide from her. as much as you loved your friend, shopping days were incredibly exhausting - you couldn’t even begin to comprehend where she drew all the energy from, it was like an evil spirit possessed her and wouldn’t stop until it reached its goal. the goal being to own all the latest and cutest items of clothing. this time, you couldn’t even rely on megumi or yuuji to bail you out; nobara had been strict on this being a girls only trip.

you felt a poke to your side, jerking slightly at the sudden jab. you blindly swatted her hand away, not even bothering to look up. “you have fifteen minutes, after that i’m going to drag you out with me, no matter how awful you look. got it?” nobara’s overly friendly tone sent shivers down your spine, knowing that she would pull through with that threat if you didn’t comply. “yes ma’am,” your muffled reply seemed to satisfy her, judging by the shuffling sounds of her slippers and the click of the door as she closed it.

you sighed. better hurry before she dragged you along in only your pyjamas.

nobara took a peek at your phone, curiously glancing at the screen. “who are you texting all this time? is it choso?” she questioned, leaning closer until she was halfway on your seat. you nudged her back gently, hiding the screen from her as your cheeks burned in embarrassment. you hoped that she didn’t see your texts, not wanting her to know that you’d been texting choso the entire time. she’d make a whole fuss about it and then undoubtedly interrogate you - however, on second thought, you pondered over why this was the one issue that you felt wary about, an issue that made it difficult to confide in her. why was that?

you’d been best friends for so long and both of you have had your fair share of partner talk between you. sure, you might lack in that department but regardless, nobara had witnessed you cry, gush and rant about your previous partners already. maybe it was the uncertainty. the fact that you were scared of ruining the dynamic between your friends, in particular yuuji, choso and you. as you dwelled on it, you suddenly felt silly. ever since your feelings for choso suddenly started growing, you’d been jumping to conclusions a lot, something that you rarely ever did. perhaps love really did make you act strange and you needed to snap out of it.

“and if it was?” you mustered up enough courage to give her a vague answer that gave hints but immediately regretted it when you saw nobara’s face light up in glee and what you could only describe as mischief. by giving her an opening like this, you gave her the perfect opportunity to grill you until you gave her a satisfactory answer.

“see i knew you had a crush on choso! are you finally admitting to it? oh god, tell me aaaall the details, we have all the time in the world,” in her excitement, she completely forgot about her drink, abandoning it on her side. oh were you in for a ride. “so spill, and don’t you dare weaseling your way out of this, i-”

you had to stop nobara before she started to derail, frantically shushing her and covering her mouth as you repeatedly assured her that you would be opening up. though her inquisitiveness had initially overwhelmed you, now you felt strangely calm and comfortable enough to confide in her. it took a while for you to unpack the entire timeline of events, your interpretations of choso’s behaviour and your own feelings about… everything. you were thankful that nobara was so incredibly patient and attentive, not once interrupting you but letting you go at your own pace. by the time you finished telling her everything, even she had a pensive look on her face, brows furrowed and eyes staring at her now empty drink as if it could give her an answer. it was as if you could see the cogwheels turning in her head, twisting and turning the course of events until she could come up with a reply.

“see, there’s just something i need you to explain to me first – i don’t understand why you would assume that you’d have no chance with him? choso obviously appreciates and cherishes you a lot, not to mention how many times i’ve brought up the fact that he might actually like like you,” nobara hummed, squinting at you. you knew what that look meant, give a wrong reply and she would pinch you.

“it’s just hard for me to see that when we’ve been such close friends and roommates too, right? it’s like in the rom-coms we watch, neither party would want to ruin the good relationship. added to that, i had the feeling that choso and yuki would be getting back together so it was tricky."

"but that's also an assumption, right? i mean whatever you saw, it could have been anything. and i would think he'd let you know if anything was going on."

you knew it, you knew nobara was right. it was hard to keep a clear head when so many emotions were involved, piling and piling up on you until you were buried and couldn't get back out by yourself. not being able to help yourself, you chuckled, rubbing your cheeks embarrassed. so many months you'd worked on it with choso, properly communicating any problems and worries with each other and then you'd gone and done the exact opposite. it was ironic, you thought - habits could just be broken down as fast as they were built.

doubt was a fickle thing. even the most rational minds could fall victim to it, determination and confidence slowly eroding away as the unpleasant emotion gnawed at one's mind. repeatedly, the worst assumptions would bubble up, clinging onto you until you gave into it.

"yeah i... i do realize that. i was planning to talk to him when i get back because i don't want it to affect our friendship or to make him feel bad for what is actually my issue, you know? we uh, talked again on the phone last night and it made me feel really comforted," your face flushed at the memory, making you flustered.

"aw look at you being all lovey dovey," nobara cooed, nudging you playfully before pulling a grimace. "but no more moping! tell him or i'll do it and you know i-"

"yeah yeah, i know you'll pull through with the threat," you laughed, reaching over to hug your friend tightly. all the weight had been lifted from your shoulders by just letting her in on your innermost thoughts and feelings; you felt thankful that she wasn't trying to push you or laid out an entire roadmap on what to do. that was something you had to figure out for yourself, even if it might end up in the wrong path. though in that case, you supposed that you would still learn from the experiences and could be grateful for the amazing time you'd spent with choso. it was too early to think of failure just yet when you didn't have the chance to talk to him yet. now that the haze of uncertainty had lifted, you wanted to enjoy your summer vacation with your best friends. no more moping around, no more worries.

nobara grinned and pinched your cheeks. "see there she is, laughing and grinning again! back to your old self huh? if you have enough energy to still be this cheerful, i'm sure you have enough energy to go visit a few more shops with me?"

"nobara, no-"

"oh nobara, yes."

exhausted, you plunged face first onto the couch, groaning as you hit the soft pillows and could finally rest your body. you didn’t know which devil nobara sold her soul to to have this much energy for sightseeing, shopping and a quick swim at the beach - but whatever it was, you wanted in on it as well. it would be one hell of a help for all the assignments and exams in the upcoming semester. and maybe there would be more leftover to engage in the hobbies that you usually neglected due to your workload.

yuuji and megumi peeked over at you from their seats, amused at how you sighed in happiness about the newfound comfort. both were glad that nobara hadn't dragged them along, instead enjoying a relaxing day at the beach - though yuuji wasn't able to hide the quiet winces that he let out whenever he moved a little, plagued by a sunburn as he apparently fell asleep while at the beach. megumi stifled a laugh as he threw the bottle of aloe gel to yuuji before turning his attention to you. nobara was nowhere to be seen, having disappeared in her room immediately to try out her new clothing items.

"how was today? stressful?"

"nah it was alright. my feet just hurt - how is it that nobara still has so much energy? i have so many questions. we scoured every corner of the city for every cute boutique," you groaned, turning on your back so you could look at your friend properly. propping your feet up on the pillows, you wiggled around until you got comfortable.

"you tell me! last time she dragged us along, we just had to carry all the bags and boxes for her," yuuji added, hissing at his burns. "but did you have fun at least? it's vacation time, you were supposed to have a nice day."

"oh no yeah, i had a good time, don't worry. i uh-"

should you tell them? you weren't sure. you felt like all the newfound courage suddenly dissipated in the same second that you thought about bringing up your crush. nobara was one thing and megumi most likely would be indifferent to it as long as you were sure about your course of actions, but yuuji? he was choso's brother after all. it added another level of complexity that you didn't take into consideration. megumi immediately sensed your hesitation, watching you intently as he waited for you to continue. yuuji didn’t seem to have noticed your troubled face expression just yet, too absorbed in rubbing aloe on his sunburnt skin.

however, dragging it out any longer wouldn’t be beneficial as well - it would bring new twists and turns that you didn’t account for and had already been bothersome the first time around. better to outright say it and rip it off like a band aid, come hell or high water. after a moment of silence, you finally spoke up: “can i tell you guys something?” yuuji immediately stopped in his movements as if somebody had pushed a button to keep him frozen in time, looking awfully comical as he looked at you with wide eyes. alarms went off in his head, immediately worried that something had happened, whether it had been something during your shopping trip or something concerning choso or yuki.

“it’s nothing bad, i swear!” you immediately assured him, holding your hands up in defense and let out a nervous laugh. “it’s just um. i’m sure everyone has noticed me being a little weird the past few days or weeks even and… i’ll have to come clean eventually, so while we’re all here together, i’m just gonna confess.”

the silence in the room was deafening, suddenly feeling like a large wall between you and your friends. your hands were shaking as you fumbled with your words until finally, the words came out all in one go.

“ihaveabigcrushonchosoandthat’swhyi’vebeenactingsoweird.”

“you what?” megumi looked at you bewildered, not having understood a single word.

“you know. choso? my roommate? yuuji’s brother?”

“y/n, are you seriously trying to explain to me who choso is like we haven’t known each other our entire lives?” megumi questioned you amused, the corners of his mouth lifting ever so slightly. you groaned embarrassed, hiding your face in your hands.

“i’m nervous, okay? what i’m trying to say is that i developed a crush on choso. but i’m getting way in my head about it because of our friendship and yuki, so that’s why i’ve been weird. i’m sorry if i made you guys feel uncomfortable or concerned.” sighing, you leaned back on the couch, waiting for your friends’ reactions. both megumi and yuuji stayed silent and you already feared for the worst case scenario before yuuji blurted out: “we’ve known.”

now it was your turn to be flabbergasted by this revelation, abruptly sitting up to stare at your friends with wide eyes.

“what? you haven’t been very subtle with this the entire time, so of course we noticed,” yuuji explained, shrugging slightly before wincing in pain immediately. “i think nobara noticed first and then we kinda talked about it. but neither of us brought it up to you because it was futile until you acknowledged your feelings on your own.”

“and don’t worry, we never talked to choso about this either,” megumi added, offering you a small smile. “i think all of us can assure you that he has not taken any hints or noticed anything, if anything, you’ll have to be super upfront about it for him to understand.”

the sound of heavy and fast footsteps announced nobara’s arrival as she ran downstairs, almost crashing into the walls before catching herself and pointing at the trio accusingly. “how dare you start this discussion without me! i’m an integral part to this, i figured out all of this!” you shushed your friend quickly, pulling her to sit on the couch next to you. though she had been quick-tempered initially, you managed to calm her down just as fast and filled her in on what megumi, yuuji and you had talked about before she joined. the tension that was clinging heavy on your shoulders was lifted with every word that you exchanged, making you feel silly over the fact that you hadn’t talked to your friends about this sooner.

they were your friends after all, they were understanding and caring. and even if it had been something they couldn’t stand behind, they would let you know and not make you feel bad about it. so really, it was you and your anxiety going against each other.

and finally, you made them promise that they would immediately call you out, should you ever become a hermit again. dwelling in the past or catastrophizing the future was no use to you - the time was now and you’d make the best of it, even when things went south. nobara pinched your cheeks, letting you know that she was proud of you for coming out of your shell slowly. contrary to your unfounded worries, yuuji didn’t think much of your crush, he would support you to the best of his abilities. as long as nobody got hurt and nothing would lead to strained relationships, he was fine with it.

it felt good to finally address everything that you’d been avoiding. you felt like you were invincible, on top of the world and able to tackle everything that life would throw towards you - one at a time.

“what are you doing here?” yuuji blurted out bewildered as he stared at his older brother and friends behind him. choso looked at him just as perplexed, not having expected to meet his younger brother while on holiday as well. it was a strange coincidence really. yuuji couldn’t tell but felt like he was a character in his friend’s rom-com life where everything was suddenly coming together and he came face to face with the end boss. choso’s friends were more than thrilled to see yuuji, fussing over him as they reminded him to drop by the tattoo parlor more often to hang out with them. for the first time in a while, he felt nervous upon the prospect of you meeting them so soon when you’d just discussed the events the day before.

“we’re touring the coast - did i forget to tell you?” choso replied sheepishly, scratching the back of his head as he glanced behind him. when he acted like this, yuuji was reminded of a puppy that was guilty about something that it did. “is y/n here?”

“uh yeah, megumi and her went to get some ice cream and uh, nobara is-” yuuji vaguely gestured behind him. “- over there tanning. did you wanna talk to her? i’m sure they’ll be back soon.”

“y/n?” yuki popped up behind choso, eyes sparkling with excitement. "i wanted to hang out with her for a bit as well! choso's told me a lot about her but i haven't gotten the chance to talk to her personally just yet."

"he did?" yuuji was surprised - choso usually dodged any of his attempts to tickle more information out of him.

"well i kind of annoyed him until he did," yuki laughed wholeheartedly, patting choso on the back before leaning closer to yuuji. there was a mischievous glint in her eyes, making his stomach drop. "and between us, i think he likes her," yuki whispered secretively. "am i right?"

yuuji spluttered in surprise; he didn't have to answer, his reaction was enough to let her know that she was right in her guess. but yuki wouldn't be yuki if she didn't have any plans up her sleeves. all it took for the two of you to finally get together was a little push, one that she would gladly provide. in truth, she did have the feeling that you were slightly intimidated by her for whatever reason and perhaps it held you back from proceeding with your plans. nothing that couldn't be fixed with some time getting to know each other as opposed to only hearing things about the other through the grapevine. as soon as yuki spotted you coming closer with ice cream cones in your hand, she waved enthusiastically.

yuuji really had to give you credit, though there was a split second of surprise in your eyes, you caught your composure swiftly and greeted the group with a small smile. choso couldn’t get a word in as yuki dove in, expressing how excited she was to meet you again and whether you minded going for a little stroll with her so you could get to know each other. you couldn’t deny that one part of you was still cautious, though it was probably the best course of action. get the most difficult, or rather troubling, issue out of your way and then work through the rest. if the opportunity was presented to you as if on a silver platter, you would take it. “i uh- sure? but are your friends okay with that?” you asked hesitantly, aware of the curious glances that choso’s friends sent your way.

“yeah, totally. we were just looking for a free spot around here to set up our stuff but honestly, it’ll be more fun joining you guys. we’ll continue traveling tomorrow so might as well make the most of our time with you!” thrusting her bag in choso’s hands, yuki tucked her arm into yours and took off. she laughed playfully as the guys yelled after her but remained unbothered, turning her attention to you. neither of you said a word as you continued walking along the beach, water softly splashing against your feet. the feeling of sand underneath your feet grounded you, reminding you to stay here and not let your thoughts wander. as soon as you were out of ear shot and yuki was sure nobody could hear you, she looked at you.

"so, finally i get to talk to you. how's your trip been so far? you wouldn't believe how chaotic it is with the guys. i don't know whose idea it was to let mahito plan everything." yuki told you with a chuckle. you were glad that she made the first step, melting the ice between you and giving you a perfect topic to ease into the inevitable conversation that was going to come up soon.

"pretty good, i was very stressed about uni and exams so this little trip was very much needed. though i can't say that it hasn't been chaotic either," you joined in with her giggling. "nobara can be very assertive when she's set her mind to something, especially when that something is shopping or just going to fun sightseeing locations."

"i see, i see. i need to meet her as well, she sounds pretty fun. i haven't been able to catch up with everyone here yet," she explained, wistfully staring at the sunset. "i'm sure choso has told you a little about me, right? about our relationship and how i up and left him. i haven't been home in years."

you nodded, confirming her assumptions. yuki, thankfully, was somebody who didn't take anything to heart and remained calm and humorous throughout. even when you let her know that you weren't the biggest fan of her initially, she just laughed it off. yuki acknowledged that she had done choso wrong and though it hadn't been her intention to, it wasn't the right way to end things. "i contacted choso first thing when i got here because i wanted to fix things."

"he deserved the closure that i couldn't give him at the time - i wasn't doing well and couldn't... i didn't have the words to explain him how and why. i thought that leaving would be the best option, so i couldn't hurt him further but well you see how that ended," you looked at the older female, empathizing with her situation. it was easy carrying a conversation with her, when she took everything with a stride and not backing down from difficult questions.

"i know you think the opposite- and don't even try to deny it, i was able to tell by the way you were acting around me sometimes," yuki added immediately as she saw your face. busted, you thought, you really needed to work on a better poker face. "my intention was never to get back together with choso. i just wanted to fix things so that we could move on without any grudges and resentment towards each other. choso felt the same way."

"and um... you know that one time you were at our place?” "oh, that," yuki snorted at the memory of that night. "i think you had the wrong idea then. i misplaced my hotel keys somewhere after getting smashed at the bar with the guys and choso offered letting me sleep over at your guys' place. since we were close to each other and all, you know? nothing happened, i promise. he lent me some clothes and then crashed on the couch."

“i see… this entire time i thought that choso might still harbour some feelings for you and you did as well. that’s also part of the reason why i backed out, i didn’t want to stand in the way of that if that was how he felt. but considering that you and him are of the same mindset, that is not the case…”

"sorry i never had the opportunity to explain to you, you just kinda bolted out of there and choso didn't want to give me your number," she added, nudging you gently. relief washed over you. it was like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped over you, finally able to regain your senses. of course, nothing had happened. you felt a little stupid, you should have talked to choso about it sooner. and that one time he knocked at your door? he probably simply wanted to explain himself.

"i uh can give you my number later. thank you for clearing things up, i really appreciate it," you mumbled embarrassed, giving her a small smile. "since you were aware of why i acted like that, i should fess up to you as well, right? i only recently came to terms with these feelings so it's been a little overwhelming for me."

"because you didn't want to ruin the relationship that you two have, hm? been there, done that."

the two of you giggled in mutual understanding. yuki slowly started to become more and more likeable to you, your ill feelings towards her dissipating. she was like an older sister, supportive of your resolve to let choso know how you felt and assured you that it was the right thing to do. she confirmed what you already knew in your heart: as long as you didn't talk about the palpable tension between the two of you, you wouldn't be able to get anywhere.

"i'm so glad we talked about this. really, i didn't want to hold any ill feelings towards you."

"honestly, no hard feelings. i get how it looked like, i quite literally crashed into your lives like a wrecking ball. i keep everybody on their toes with how unpredictable i am and i know not all of my friends and family appreciate that," yuki winked at you. "but i do hope that we'll become great friends. i can square up for you, if choso does anything weird."

by the time yuki and you returned back to your group of friends, the sun was almost gone, only a sliver of orange and red hues painting the sky as nightfall was slowly coming in. you took your time getting to know yuki, knowing that she was going to be a part of your life now. she was intertwined with all of your friends and only wanted everyone to be comfortable and happy. after exchanging numbers, she assured you that she would definitely make time to hang out some more as soon as you returned from your respective trips.

your heart skipped a beat when you finally faced choso, giving him a hug as you let him know that you missed him. choso wrapped his arms around you, engulfing you in a bear hug as he murmured against your hair that he missed you as well. neither of you seemed to really want to let go but you knew that everyone would just give you weird looks or tease you about it, if you didn't pull away soon. you really wanted to avoid drawing any attention to you before you talked to choso. "do you have any plans for this evening?" you questioned him quietly as you pulled away.

"not that i'm aware of. we talked about grabbing dinner together while yuki and you were gone but i'm guessing we'll return to the hotel to wash up first before we go. is something wrong?" choso regarded you with concern, looking at you closely to make out any signs of discomfort.

"oh no, i just wanted to talk to you. i would wait until we get back but i feel like... i feel like it would be a good opportunity now," you explained to him, glancing to the side as you noticed some movements. you tried hard to keep a straight face as you saw nobara and yuki giving you a thumbs up, seemingly having bonded already. somehow... somehow you felt like they were ganging up on you already and boy did it feel like you'd be in for a ride.

"sure? i mean we still have a couple of hours until then. you wanna go somewhere more calm to talk?" choso offered, pointing to somewhere in the distance. you agreed silently before giving your friends a sign that you'd be gone for a bit to talk.

the walk towards the little hidden spot underneath some palm trees felt like an eternity, as if you hadn't known each other for quite some time and weren't close at all. it was awkward to say the least. maybe you shouldn't have suggested talking in the way that you did, he must've assumed that something bad was coming. you didn't... couldn't say anything when you finally reached your destination, squirming on the spot as you brushed the sand from side to side with your feet.

"ugh i'm sorry. i dragged you out here to talk and now i'm really nervous about it," you mumbled quietly, not daring to look at him. choso shook his head quickly, assuring you that it was fine. he was patient, not wanting to rush you. after all, it was something the two of you had worked on before - opening up and giving the other time to find the right words so that no misunderstandings would arise between you.

"it's... it's nothing bad, i suppose. but it's been weighing on me and i didn't want you to feel like i was pushing you away again. it's unfair towards you and everybody else that felt uncomfortable because of me."

okay. here it goes, there was no turning back from this point on.

"the reason why everything was so tense between us was because of me. and um- it's because i might have been crushing on you this entire time and realized very, very late," you explained quickly, leaving a small pause so he could process what you had just revealed to him. "so i was in a bad mood sometimes when i didn't understand myself and just took it out on our relationship. i'm really sorry, you were never at fault for it. if anything, i should've talked to you about it before jumping to conclusions. i thought yuki and you were going to get back together and it messed with me."

"hold up." choso stopped you before you could continue. with wide eyes, you stared up at him as he grabbed you by the shoulders and made you look at him. "are you serious right now?"

"dead serious. never been more serious," you retorted. choso suddenly overwhelmed you with a hug, squeezing you tightly. you gasped, losing your footing as you leaned against him and held onto his shirt. "um. what does this mean?"

"i like you too," choso breathed out, relief clear in his voice. "i never considered getting back with yuki. i was going to tell you that we just cleared the air and that i told her i was going to eventually, open up to you about it. but seems the timing was never right for either of us, huh?"

you grinned widely, not being able to hide your joy from him. it felt so unreal, hearing those words from him. while your heart was warm and yearned for him, you weren't sure how to proceed yet. were you a couple just like that? or would you ease into it more, go on dates and that kind of thing? how did people even navigate this? you had so many questions.

"i was hesitant at first since mine and yuki's breakup left such a bitter taste in my mouth but... i didn't want it to ruin whatever relationship would be coming in the future, so i accepted her request to talk. had you asked me a year ago, i would've been angry at you," he hummed quietly, pulling away from you slightly. his arms remained wrapped around your waist, keeping you anchored against him as he looked at you. his eyes sparkled with anticipation and eagerness that wasn't showing on his face otherwise. but you could tell that he was happy, happy that you reciprocated his feelings.

you stayed silent for a while before you finally mustered up the courage to ask: "so are we like a couple now? or... maybe we should discuss this more when we're home."

"i would like to think so, yes," choso intertwined your fingers, swinging your hands ever so slightly between you. "but it would probably be the wisest decision to talk again when we're home. i... want this to be right because i care for you, so much. my heart stopped earlier when you um. told me you liked me, i can't believe-"

"me neither, trust me," you laughed happily, squeezing his hands. even though you knew that things still had to be straightened out, you’d already made a great step forward. his touch felt so familiar and like home, the confession added another layer to your already existing feelings, wrapping you in love and butterflies as if they’d always been there just for you, waiting to be unraveled and discovered. “so… we’ll wait until we get home then?”

“essentially, yes. but it’s nice to know that we’re on the same page about feelings. i really, really like you. so much.”

“okay but… can i kiss you?” you couldn’t resist the temptation, every single cell in your body yearning to feel his lips on yours.

“of course,” choso replied, smiling into the kiss when you finally leaned up and pressed your lips against his, gently cupping your cheeks as he leaned into you.

finally, finally, your heart found the one who would understand and love it the most.

bonus:

“you know, you kinda snitched on yourself when you just assumed out of nowhere that i was asking about choso because i was interested in a relationship with him,” nobara chimed up, peering behind her from the passenger’s seat. in an instant, your cheeks heated up in embarrassment, making you squirm in your seat. you’d almost forgotten about this stupid thought that you had in the beginning and had hoped that she would never catch wind of it as you knew you were being irrational and acting like a highschooler in love. stupid stupid stupid.

“can we not talk about this, please? this is so embarrassing,” you grumbled, lifting your foot slightly to nudge your friend. your friends broke out in booming laughter, highly amused by your bashful reaction, though they thought that it was endearing. really, nobody could resist the temptation to tease you about it. and as they continued to giggle and snort, not being able to calm down, the feeling still warmed your chest. it was moments like these where lighthearted banter, laughter and the feeling of care filled your heart with so much love and appreciation for your friends as you would never be able to navigate these tides without them.

p.s.: if you've made it here, thank you for reading! originally, this chapter was supposed to be much longer but it felt right ending it at this point. the upcoming chapters will be focused on their relationship and couple things, so very fluffy :)

taglist: @darlingdaph @animesllut666 @primavera-allegoria @z3llous @choso-is-love @that-one-band-fan @itadorim @keijisprettygirl