#but i guess i also do vent to them alot; i only talk about like 10% of my life but having mental disorders will do that ig

[ganondoodle]

I'm really sorry that Zelda has burned you out. I can be excited with reserved expectations, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad that the bar for those expectations had to drop so low. Zelda is such a beautiful franchise with potential that feels like it gets less and less tapped every entry.

Between Ganondorf in Totk and the live-action Zelda (I hate it here), I feel like I can only get so excited for a Zelda thing before I wait for the multiple other shoes to drop.

I guess this is one part "I'm sorry" and one part "I can kinda relate, and I wanted to vent"

To end on a positive note I've always been a huge fan of your art and you're unique depictions of divinity are genuinely fucking inspiring.

yeah, its both sad and kinda scary ... like i didnt think anything could disappoint me so hard it would make me this wary and bored of anything they do, though i was afraid of it, and yet here we are

its not just that i feel like the bar is lower than ever, i also feel like ... i dont want to invest time and thought into soemthing they might have never actually cared about? like botw made me so damn invested in its lore and world and totk just dropped it all so hard that i feel afraid to care about anything (new) zelda related

i still love the titles up to botw, i still like the franchise and care deeply about all the fanworks and stories and lore, but i cant lie, totk did damage that and any trust i had into them being able to tell stories "Zelda is such a beautiful franchise with potential that feels like it gets less and less tapped every entry." a sad cheer to that :,)

im not gonna talk about it any further, i dont wanna morph into a true notorious complainer tm- just gonna watch others play it but unless they actually pull something interesting off (which i doubt doubly so since its zelda as the played character..) i dont think im gonna do anything with it, so, sorry on that end

and thank you! it means alot to hear people enjoy what i do, no matter how annoying i can be xD and in this day and age where its harder and harder to reach anyone, or stay "relevant" for that matter especially bdksskjlvnfxdl

anyway, i wont stop working on any of my zelda projects any time soon :3 mainly thanks to the people like you, who can find worth in what i do even if i might doubt it! <3

[vaultlinkvt]

This is the first proper thing I've drawn in ages (and first are I think I've posted in over 5 years?) I just needed to draw the opening to Act 5 and my reaction to it.

Nothing has gripped me in such a way and forced me to finish an art piece like this in so fucking long. I see far too much of myself in him. I just want them to be ok after this is all over. STARS, this is just Asriel all over again isn't it. But WORSE!/pos

…I guess that could make this vent adjacent? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I also made a shitpost edit that I posted separately here.

There are so many things covered by each other and I just need to share and talk about them. Bonus details and rambles under the cut.

Siffrin's expression was like the first thing I drew and if it didn't turn out as good as it did I probably wouldn't have spent almost 10 days slowly adding to this and I just need to show it because his hands/arms end up covering most of their face.

Nothing much else to say about him, I'm just super happy with how everything about him turned out (I did have to go back and redraw some of his hair towards the end because the line thickness wasn't consistent with everything I drew after.

Next is ME yippeeeee. I have no idea why I spent so long adding details even tho I knew alot of it would get covered by Sif 'cause of how I was posing this.

I even designed a little button based on the Change Ornament + Star (the Change Belief and Lost Belief in The Universe really spoke to me in so many ways)

The gloves are an Archery Glove on the right hand and a Drawing/Writing Glove on the left.

The cloak is based on the style of cloak my mom made for my family for SCA events when I was young. It's just a simple hooded cloak but it has a slit in each side so you can stick your hands threw without needing to open up the cloak. I imagine it being stylized like, the opening doesn't exist until you stick your hands threw and then it can just freely glide around the face of the cloak to wherever it's needed, stopping at the elbow only letting threw the forearm, below the slit beginning to hang off the elbow with gravity while the part above begins to move with the upper arm.

I didn't even try to draw the outfit under the cloak because dealing with the folds of a thick wool cloak was enough for me (you can see how I gave up at the knees because I KNEW Sif was gonna cover them up). What I imagine the outfit being is this big baggy tunic and pants that are tied down at the forearms/calves to keep from getting in the way, it's also supposed to have a big baggy turtleneck thing that can be pulled up as a(nother) hood (iirc, this sorta thing was used so someone could wear a chainmail hood without it grabbing your hair(there ware also like stand alone cloth hoods that did the same thing too but eh, my memory is bad I might just be misremembering this)) but I couldn't figure out the folds and ended up just doing a simple button up thing (which then got covered by Sif's big head anyway.)

I spent soooo long trying to draw my eyes, trying to figure out the shape, and ended up just doing a bunch of small tests to the side before finding one that actually looked right. Drag it over the face and see that it fit EXACTLY, didn't even need to redraw it or anything.... unless you're talking about the other eye in which case I just duplicated it, flipped, and did some perspective warping until it looked ok because I could NOT draw that again especially at a different perspective (can I just say I have no idea how I drew that creepy eye but I love it, it was the first eye I drew and I just threw 4 lines down what the fuck how. Also the Mira-ish one looks cute too but didn't fit the expression.) I also needed to figure out what the hell was wrong with the expression I had before so you get 2 faces from me figuring that out (turns out I had the eyebrows facing the wrong way.)

I ALMOST FUCKING FORGOT MY FRECKLES TOO AAAAAAAAA (they're actually missing from the version I posted in the official ISaT server.) It was super weird trying to add them at the obscenely low resolution I was drawing at and they're probably gonna get compressed to hell and back but I think they're cute.

final thing.

Why is my hair so similar to Sif's but longer? Like, you can see I was sketching over my drawing of him to make sure I'd keep the proportions right when I started working on myself but in the process I realized that I was basically drawing over his hair but longer for mine (drawing I was using as ref here made by @leemak)

Add that to the uncomfortably long list of things I have in common with Siffrin I guess.

[giggly-squiggily]

Amazing, Showstopping, Glamorous Blue Lock Headcanons That Are Definitely True Ego Told Me So #3

I have no excuse for this I just wanna yell about the boys

-Barou watches Bluey. He claims it's because of his two sisters but really he finds it incredibly comforting. His favorite character is Muffin (His favorite quote is "Muffin, NO!") If you call him out on it he'll get all embarrassed and claim it's for babies. This doesn't really change even after Isagi told him he watches it too- but he's not nearly as flustered post that.

- Chigiri sleeps like the dead. He gets up fine in the morning, but any time between then and bedtime he’s unmovable. The world could be ending and every catastrophe ever could be going down and he’ll just roll over and carry on snoring.

- Rin won't ever admit it, but he has such a soft spot for Bachira. The little gremlin wormed his way into his heart without any warning and- if you pay close enough attention, it shows. "This is gross, you take it" He'd say as he trades a meal with Bachira knowing the smaller boy loves it. "I only picked him because he's useful" after reuniting him with Isagi. "You're embarrassing. I guess I can teach you." He'd say while tutoring Bachira in English even AFTER he said he wouldn't.

-Reo's amazing at doing hair. Sometimes he'll force Chigiri to sit down so he could do his braid for him (it always looks amazing) claiming "You take forever. I'm doing it." But really he just wants to talk with the redhead about whatever (50% He's venting about Nagi, 50% it's everything from K-Drama's he's into, Team V shenanigans to various other topics). Chigiri can't fight him on it- and even if he could, he rather enjoys Reo doing his hair for him- plus he's really entertaining the way he tells stories.

- For the longest time, Nagi thought Half-Baked ice cream meant it was baked halfway in the oven before frozen. One time he got a craving and wanted some, but only had vanilla. And a microwave. Chigiri and Barou came back to find a burnt mess of ice cream in the microwave and a shamed Nagi.

-Despite his last name meaning "Happy Bee", Bachira has a strong dislike for the buzzing insects. Some say he was stung a lot as a kid, others say he might be allergic. Really though- Bachira doesn't like them cause one day he had a slushy and they got into his drink. He's never recovered since. He doesn't mind it when Isagi calls him "Bumble Bee" though. (Credit to you friend- you know who you are :D)

-Aryu's terrified of seagulls. Not only are they "So not glam" but they insist on attacking him any time he goes to the beach. (When he poses, his hair somehow catches one). He's also terrified of birds period- if one gets too close you can expect to hear him squawk and run for safety.

-Niko and Isagi have movie nights. They aren't much of a set up- Niko gets his phone back, Isagi somewhat convinces Karasu to share some of his "Snack Stash", and the two get comfy around the small screen watching whatever anime they're addicted to at the moment. They also break into song alot whenever an opening slaps. (May or may not have been told to "SHUT THE F*CK UP" by their teammates a few times).

-Hiori smiled at Rin once. It was so effective on him Rin walked straight into the doorframe of one of the sliding doors. Unfortunately for him Bachira and Isagi witnessed it and will never let him live it down. (They become his little statue muses like in Hercules- "It's okay, your in lo-" "Finish that sentence and I'll strangle you with your own shoelaces.")

-Bachira is very cuddly; he'll walk up to whomever and just wrap his arms around them from behind. He especially does this to Isagi whenever the other boy is trying to explain his spacial awareness or whatever. It's a 50/50 shot on whether he'll simply hug him or he'll start tickling him mid conversation- forcing Isagi to laugh so hard he can't finish the sentence.

-Gagamaru tends to put his whole face into whatever he's looking at. If you show him something on your phone he'll lean in so he's inches from it. Some figured he's nearsighted and needs glasses, but really it's just one of Gagamaru's many quirks.

-Someone once told Tokimitsu he radiated "Kirby energy". He didn't know what that meant but when he told his teammates Rin kinda gave him a once over and said: "Accurate." To this day Tokimitsu still doesn't get what that means.

-Kunigami hates horror movies; Chigiri lives for them. 50% of their movie nights consist of the hero hiding behind him while Chigiri snickers at the antics going onscreen.

[drizzileiscool]

new pinned new pinned new pinned

yo!! welcome to my blog!!

I'm just a regular drizzile. nothing out of the ordinary. no eebydeeby stuff going on here I was never a human to begin with (although it is weird that I never remember being a sobble)

My name is Azure, btw! a human who I'm friends with gave me this strange rock thing called azurite and decided to name me after it since I didn't already have a name before meeting her

also the pokedex is a liar I am not smart at all lol

Anyways this is also a drizzile propaganda blog because for some reason people don't like my species. why is that. what is wrong with you humans

but that's not all! this is also an ask blog now (as of october 26th 2023)!!! because I really want to talk to people but find it really hard to start a conversation

Feel free to send an ask about Literally Whatever! as long as it's not nsfw I will answer your ask!!

I'm hoping that this blog will make people realize that us drizziles are indeed cool

ooc/tags/more info under the cut

OOC

hello again thanks for clicking the read more thing

I am the owner of this blog, I go by either drizzile or sig (drizzile is preferred if we aren't twitter mutuals)

fyi, for any irl friends that manage to find this blog, please do not use my real name on here! just call me drizzile or sig instead! I don't like having irl information about me online

I'm bad at talking to other people sorry!! if you want to talk to me then you're either gonna have to @ me or respond to one of my posts

info about Azure:

Azure is a drizzile. I don't think they're good at being a drizzile though /j but they sure as hell are one!

they're basically just me if I were a drizzile. that also applies to the things like gender and pronouns. so both me and Azure are non binary and use any pronouns

the world that Azure lives in is also basically just the real world. only instead of the different continents it's the actual pokemon regions. also yes tpc exists in their universe and so do the pokemon games and anime and other pokemon related media

Azure lives in galar! specifically galar mine 2 (though they occasionally make visits to hulbury, spikemuth, and ballonlea. what are they doing there? I have no idea. they just like the Vibes™ I guess)

Azure has not been outside of galar

And y'know how I mentioned that they don't remember being a sobble? that's because they were born as a drizzile! they haven't actually experienced being a sobble. also they can't evolve for some reason but they don't mind since they don't really want to

They're also a shiny drizzile! But they like to keep that a secret since they think humans will try to catch them if they find out. Feel free to ask about that as well. Make them suffer /j

anyways

TAGS!

these were all created before I gave azure a name and it was still Drizzile and im too lazy to change these to say azure instead of drizzile

not drizzile - things that are ooc (as well as things that aren't drizziles)

probably drizzile but not at the same time - posts that are both in character and ooc because this happens alot for some reason. feel free to interact as either in character or ooc, either is fine

ideas of drizzile - some ideas I have that I think could be really cool

drizzile tagging tag - the tag I use when I create a new tag. ironically this tag wasn't created by me lol. created by thatoneguy031 (sorry I'm too shy to actually tag you lol)

drizzile is liveblogging - liveblogging random stuff, such as games and anime. will probably clog up your dash

azure lore - random lore/facts about azure

hey future drizzile you should draw this - things I want to draw but currently can't due to my drawing abilities and time

tw suggestive - suggestive or slightly nsfw posts. feel free to blacklist this tag if you don't like seeing that kind of stuff

important - things that are important to this account, like announcements

vent - self explanatory I think. all vents are ooc if I ever forget to tag one as ooc or just don't feel like tagging it btw

LINKS

carrd (has more info about me)

twitter (currently private but will gladly accept follow requests)

this is the end of the pinned post

if anyone wants to talk to me, feel free to add me on discord @ sigpuyopuyo

[covenlegacy]

I'm sorry that i make coven blog some exchange of messages with others but i don't want to talk via messages with anyone, including coven because I had very bad experience with it plus everyone would attack me then. So that's why I use this method here sending anon replies. I agree with you too, anon. I guess that when my opinion wasn't loaded with negative emotions, especially about JK, more people would understand and reply this way before. But I'm only human with emotions that got the best of me. But just like you said. It's exactly this way. I treat coven as confidant who's in this topic and knows about this general obession over JK between fans so that's why it's a relief to spill the tea. But people act offended like it was about them. Maybe it is. But generally many Army's react this way. Idk maybe they don't fight back in rl and that's why they look for fights online. I already said it's some projection from their side. I also fought with others online when I had stesssful day but now i try not to do this. You're right. I've been fucking fighting for four years to not to think about JK. I used to think it's being in love but it's just attraction and fascination that is difficult to get rid of. Sounds like karmic lesson. So imagine how annoying it is when after seeing only one shit on Tumblr like gifset, he haunts my thought for hours. I actually felt happy when I saw him on vlive, especially with Bam so it's good but I'd like to not to think about it later. Like really, not think about him that often and randomly. Maybe avoiding everything related to him would be good but I get recommendations and he's really everywhere so I'd need to delete all of my social medias then. But I guess there would be some hot topic on Tumblr one day or elsewhere and I'd randomly saw him anyway. I guess it will pass but it just takes long. I'm sure it's some karmic lesson and i still need to learn something. I hope that I'll meet my spouse soon. I'm curious if he's my type. I'm a bit worried because my 7th house in vedic is ruled by Mars and astrologers say it symbolizes domineering, agressive, sporty, competetive spouse. If someone who knows astrology well, could tell me something more about this placement, I'd be grateful.

I get that you're very hurt. And it's okay to like a celebrity like JK. He represents alot of things at the same time. He is one of a very few number of people who backs up being this popular. Talent, looks and a lot of things in one. He is very easy to admire.

Anon, I know how bad it feels when people who are supposed to be your strength end up being the exact opposite and that's why I think people should calm down. At the end of a shitty day all you perhaps want is someone who shares a little bit of sympathy and not just be in an attack mode. So whenever you are deeply sad you vent out by saying stuff about him because you know that it won't affect him. By your posts I know that you know that you don't see him in your life and that's also proof that you are not delusional.

Don't mind me saying this but I think you feel good when all his fans attack you so that you have somebody to say things to. By this kind of fight you can say things that perhaps you won't in real life to the people you have real problems with.

Coven is cute that way. She gets the gossip for the blog and still she protects you because she knows what you feel and it's a win for you both.

Your crush and obsession is not really that. It's just that you don't like that people like him have the scope and opportunity to do things that their heart desires whereas someone like you has to fight for the smallest things.

I don't hate your messages and you don't have to apologize for this behavior because we all lose it sometimes but we are all not surrounded by people who won't judge us like that or admire us deeply for being soft and vulnerable.

.

[jenoslutie]

random vent ignore this

just me or is it really weird talking about ur feelings to ur irls like i know they just dont get what i feel. like no one tries to understand my feelings when i try talking to them about things but when its literally anyone who tries talking to me about things i feel like i have to understand their feelings and help them feel better just because i care about them and their happiness but literally no one would do that for me.

everytime something exciting happens for me i gotta keep it to myself and just be happy for myself in silence because i know no one would be excited about it like i would be for them. i think its just me who loves people too hard and then gets upset when its not reciprocated. its really hard out here for me i guess.

that's literally one of the biggest reasons im so attached to nct and ive been so attached to them because after my most recent friendship breakup, the hardest one of my life, where i was being controlled in by my own best friend and forced out of things i enjoyed, nct being one of them, i realized that i was never truly happy during that time like at all. but as soon as i found my way back to them ive been the happiest ive been in the past year even through all my ups and downs (which there were ALOT of) and everytime i even see her now i realize how much happier i am now even if i dont have that many friends now, i find comfort in having the neos as my little safe haven but again, i can never talk to anyone about it because no one gets it. everyone would think im one of those kpop obsessed freaks when im literally just a girl coping with life through them.

i wish i could go back to 2020 when i was literally having the best year of my life. i was in the healthiest relationship of my life, i found nct, my baby was born, everything was just right for me. but of course good things like that never last because everything is falling apart lol...

even now, the guy im like very interested in right now, no one understands it, everyone tells me that hes ugly and i should find someone better but i find comfort in liking him. i like him cuz he actually makes me feel wanted after a whole fucking year of being single and going through countless situationships but ofc i cant say that to anyone cuz im just delusional right? no one gets it no one EVER gets it. everyone just thinks im delusional but its just how i cope with like everything in my life. stress, anxiety, literally anything, its my coping mechanism but whatever.

i cant even start to talk about my family BRUH. i can't complain about shit to my irls cuz everyone knows my family and i dont want it to be awkward but i guess its only sided cuz family does not give a FUCK about who knows me and who doesnt and is straight up just tearing me apart lmao.

on the bright side, im taking the time out for self to improve my mental health and be in a better state! ive started doing daily motivations and journaling on this app and its been helping alot. ive also started protecting my peace way harder so i literally dont talk to anyone other than like close friends lol.

ok bye i wrote like a novel here LMAO goodbye if u read this ignore it this is not who i am

[cam-csd59]

12PM Vent because I ain't got other shit to do I guess.

Lately, I've been suck in my own head about my life and where I am now, contrasted against where I was like... 10 years ago. There's alot I now just don't do, that 13 or 16 YO me would do in a heart beat or enjoy. One of them is that I think I'm mentally going as a sociable person. I don't think I derive pleasure from hanging around friend groups. And I don't think I like 1 on 1's anymore either. Lately I'm just not got energy to try and hold a convo or actually try and engage with a topic. Or maybe I'm just not good at conversation anymore idfk. And when you hear someone completly change in mood and energy when someone else joins in.

I don't want to use "Upsetting" to overall describe it, maybe "defeating". Mostly cause I don't get mad or teary eyed when it happens, just a "Ok." and either sit there mute while they have a wonderful convo and in jokes and all that sort or just leave, cause I'm not gonna add anything, mostly just take away.

I don't know if its because I'm now low effort they act this way towards me, idk, and it's not my place to say.

Too right as well. I wouldn't want to be friends/hang around someone who is as reliable as the pin in an already thrown grenade. So in some sense I'm glad they are pushing me away, they can move on and hang around people they like.

It doesn't help that as a person, I kind of need a rock like friend. Where they can handle my bullshit, but I've not had that in months/years and it might be getting to me. I'm both an emotional person and not, I'll sit there and listen to you rant about life and shit for hours and give you the best help I can. But when trying to unpack whats upsetting me, I can't around most people most times.

Mostly cause I go by "Keep your shit to yourself, don't spread bugs" in life.

That, and alot of my friends don't seem very, good at hearing my shit, with just an off hand "It be what it be." or "Sorry, I'm very numb to that sort of thing so I don't know what to say." So I just keep to myself with my stuff and just let them rant.

Is it fair? I don't know. It is the way I work best I guess.

I'd rather be told to please keep all personal stuff away from a convo instead of "Its ok, you can tell me anything." and get nothing out of it.

It doesn't help that somethings that bugs me I also just can't outright say, cause it would either cause upset, or just start shit for nothing caues I'm blowing it way out of state.

Like how I feel my Ex stole my friend group and just kind of left me and a friend out in the cold while they hang out with their NEW friends. And it's not a one way road. They talk about how great he is, and how many in jokes.

its super fucking petty to think that. And I know it 100%. People are people and can hang with whoever they want.

But at the same time. What else am I gonna do? Like I hate this person, he fucked me up for months and to this day because he basically lied to me for the entire relationship. And to have him be the one they like more out of the two of us... Idk.

I don't want to make them choose, mostly cause I know they'd side with him cause he brings more to the table than I ever could. But I want them to actually say it to me, instead of doing this whole dance of No, we like both of you.

I probably should just leave that group honestly. Save them the trouble of it. I tried that before, only one person from that group ever reached out and tried to keep it going. But I know if I do it again, they aren't gonna do that.

I lost, My ex won.

I'm trapped in the endless pattern of; I'm gonna be better, I'll be a better friend, doesn't go well, I'm a bad friend, repeat and repeat.

It doesn't get any better with other friends either, at best we talk once every week if that, or their busy with life and don't have time for me. Which is normal and perfect.

But when they also start saying they also wanted to listen to my rants and when I'm upset, I have to stop myself from telling them a fat NO. Why would I want to be emotinally broken down to someone who at best, I share memes or a single hobby with, and will probably get a "That's wild" or "Sorry to hear that."

My feelings just don't matter, that's just the truth I hang onto.

I've never been able to discribe them, nor express them without looking like a primary school get just getting his first words out.

That automatically makes my feelings invalid. That's good, I don't matter, I'm only good as a side character honestly.

I think that's also why I haven't tried to find love anymore. I don't deserve it. Seeing as both my last two serious ones turned out, I deserve to die alone. I'm always told its not my fault, but they end the same way, and the only factor common is me.

And of course, no ones gonna pick me over them. No matter how much I try and describe how much a person hurt me, or how I don't want them in my life no more, they'll hang onto them. And eventually leave me in the dark.

I'm just so tired of acting as if I'm fine, cause everyone I know knows I'm not. But I don't want to ruin the vibe, become someone's problem they have to solve. It's better if it just remains this way, people are happy with others and give only second thoughts to me.

I've never cared about myself honestly.

I put people way ahead of myself first, because I'm scared if I don't, they'll leave. If I don't support them in ways, they'll leave. I'm jaded, It's not like this is crazy and hasn't happened.

I've been used by people to get what they want. And once your no longer useful, you don't exist anymore. I've had so many friends just walk out after they got what they want its not even funny.

If it wasn't physical needs from me, then it was money needs. Buy this from me, and I'll give you so much free shit in return. But as soon as money leaves the hand, boom gone.

I know not everyone is like that, but I'm too tired from it happening over and over again. That its better at assuming everyone's out to backstab you one day than to actually enjoy something.

Majorly its happened with two people who I thought were close friends. And it wasn't for a couple of dollars, lord no. I want to honestly fucking destroy them, I want to stand them infront of me and tell them how evil they are.

It won't change anything, it won't even make me feel better. They'll just shrug and say "Nothing happened." I should of never been friends with them. And now I'm not.

I guess that's also a thing, I get into friend groups I have no right to belong to.

I should of never become the editor/channel manager to a friend, they were such I different person from me and I graved their acceptance. They liked different things, liked different people. We were never gonna be besties, never gonna actually be 100% friends. but I was a idoit and thought differently.

I don't feel used by them, not 1 bit. I just feel stupid for trying, and now seeing they wanted nothing to do with me. My fault. I enjoyed making their videos, I should at least take that as apossitive right?

I made them for them to enjoy, maybe the actually did, maybe they didn't. IDK. We were only friends cause we were friends of friends. I love their art 100% it's funny and so creative. One of the best I've seen.

They owe me a commission, for the work I did for the channel. They don't remember, and I won't turn it into drama and make them hate me more.

Validation is the word I want to use, but I don't want to look like a twat.

I wanted them to ask me to come back from my depression and brake from the channels. But they didn't, they wanted access to the channels and that's the last we spoke. I check in on them from time to time.

Make sure their alright, cause I'm a stupid puppy always looking for attention and love from people who don't want to give it.

We should of never been friends... for their sake.

I don't know anymore.

I'm not a martyr.

None of it matters, people are happy, and their happier without me. Needs of the many, needs of the few, yada yada.

I'm just so tired.

I want it to end, but It never is. Its just how my life will go endlessly.

I'm not gonna end it all. I thought about it once or twice. Maybe even tried once or twice. But I'm not scared of death, nor the concept. Ending it all isn't for me.

Eventually everything ends.

Frienships, life, everything.

It matters to someone, and that's what makes life living.

But I'm not a doing person. I don't go out there and make friends or have actual friendships. I'm the person who people use to make themselves feel better.

Its ok. It all is.

But it isn't is it-

I'm not happy. I never will be.

[adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass]

How do I learn to not be annoying? I blather on about my hyperfixations constantly. I also go on tangents all the time. I can be in a conversation knowing that I'm talking too much, or that my conversation partners don't care about my hyperfixations at all and not have any ability to shut up about it even when I want to. How do I learn to stop?

Hello there friend!

Obligatory apology for answering this X months later: Sorry 😳❤️ better late than never I guess?

As for your question:

I tried writing several answers to this but none of them felt genuine and I don’t want to force myself to give advice I don’t stand for so I guess I’ll vent a little first?

This was really hard for me to answear and I think maybe it’s because it hit a little too close to home? I have always been very shy and anxious but at the same time love sharing things I’m interested in. A lot of times though it ended up with me having my feelings hurt because I went off about something I really cared about only to be met with silence or even responses such as:

”sorry I just genuinely don’t care about what you’re talking about right now”

Which in my opinion is not an okay thing to say, even if someone is going off. There are nicer ways to say it but in my opinion if people have to express that they really DON’T want to listen to you, then those are not people you should hang out with. Maybe I’m controversial here What do yall think?

Personally I have always felt that I should always at least pretend like I’m listening even if I’m not interested and ask questions so the other person feel heard and validated.

For example, my partner is very much into larping and making his own clothes/gear. I don’t really get it when he starts talking about patterns or different materials but whenever he shows me something he made I go ”wow baby! That’s awesome!” And usuallly that’s enough for him to feel satisfied.

You don’t have to be interested yourself to respect that other people have different passions.

I really hate math but when I meet people who study math for their major I always tell them how cool it is because it is! Having passion for things is really cool no matter what it is!

That said you did ask for advice so with that rant over…😅

#1 Focus on listening 🗣👂🏻👂🏻👂🏻

Often trying not to do something is alot harder than trying to do something so if we replace ”not talk as much” with ”listen more” we can instead focus on an easier task with the same outcome.

Listening is a really good skill to learn in general. Whenever you feel as if you’re talking too much; try to make someone else talk instead and focus on listening really well.

Turn to a conversation partner and ask what they think or how their weekend was and don’t settle for a single question, ask follow ups.

”How was your weekend?”

”Okay I guess, I went to visit my grandma”

”Oh that sounds nice, Are you two close? Does She live nearby? Did you do anything fun together?”

Really try to remember what they said, repeat it if you can

”So you went kayaking last fall?

Here you repeat what they said in the form of a question which will prompt them to talk more about it.

If they don’t initiate you can follow it up with:

”That sound fun! What was it like? Did you like it? Was it your first time? Are you going back this year?”

#2 Use ”outside focus”

Now this one I learned in therapy for my anxiety but it might just work for you too!

”Outside focus” is an exercise where you turn your focus from inside where all your anxious thoughts are, to the physical surroundings around you outside your body

The way it works is you look around yourself and describe everything to yourself in your head. ”The floor is made of floor” ok Maybe not like that more like ”the floor is grey and plastic” ”there’s a hole in the white cieling” ”the Grass is green” ”that house is made of red bricks”

This may not seem like much but what it does is it relocates your focus by keeping your mind busy. If you feel like you can’t stop talking try describing your surroundings quietly in your head until you feel more in control

#3 Practice mindfullness and breathing

Nothing new or revolutionary here but good old breathing exercises really do help but only if you practice so don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work perfectly at once.

Practice breathing slowly in and out and when you discouver your mind wandering, don’t scold yourself but gently *note* the thought you were having and allow it to pass as you return your focus to your breathing.

I know it sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo but there’s a reason mindfullness is so popular and often used in CBT, it really has been one of the most important tools for me in managing my ADHD

Sorry of this post is a mess your question really stirred something in me (in a good way!) that made me really reflect on some things which is always healthy and interesting but it was a little difficult not going to lie. 😅😅

Thank you for your question and have a good day!💕✨🥰

[oceanbaby888]

MOON SIGN MAGIC ✨🌛🌠 (Part 2)

Hey yall!!

I'm back with the second half of the "Moon Sign Magic" Series!! This post will just contain the remainder of the moon signs, just like part 1!! You all seem to like this series! I'm glad I could help yall understand and teach, even if it is the basics!!

With that said, let's do it!!

Libra Moon:

A Libra moon may be emotionally passionate about protecting others. Libra is all about being considerate of how others feel, since they do represent the 7th house (7th house= relationships with others). This moon placement may also have alot of friends in order to feel emotionally comfortable at least like to do alot of activities with people to process. They also can be a therapeutic force towards others which is therapeutic for themselves! A Libra moon is a placement of someone who is like the "mediator" of the group( that is more exhausting than it sounds honestly 🙃) so remember to put yourself first sometimes Libra moon! Someone with a Libra moon may have a mom/women in their lives that are very easy going, have many friends, very aesthetic/pretty (Libra rules Venus), and/or may be lawyers or passionate about law and fairness (Libra are represented by the scales, which is about justice and fairness).

Scorpio Moon:

Ooooo this is my favorite moon placement I'm sorry yall!!! Scorpio moons are you guessed it, emotionally intense. Yet, this is a Pluto ruled moon placement we are talking about. Pluto goes through intense, painful transformations; so sometimes a Scorpio moon may go through super intense emotional processes, but they also come out stronger and better in the end. Why? Because Pluto is the planet of rebirth, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. That is exhausting idk how the fuck yall manage 😭😣😥. This moon placement may also withhold how they really feel at times because they want no one to pry. Not to say they dont want help with their emotions, but sometimes no one can really understand the intensity of a scorpio moon, or at least they think so, but sharing may be a pleasant surprise scorpio moon ☺️. Someone with a scorpio moon may have a mom/women in their lives that are very private. They also may have a very deep bond with their mom/women in their lives. Since Scorpio rules 8th house themes, this placement may also have a mom who shares alot with them (8th house = joint materials) or be into the occult (8th house= the occult). Unfortunately this isnt always so positive, as a scorpio moon may have a mom/women in their lives who may think they're weird (Pluto = taboo/abnormal) or be very reactionary towards them :/.

Sagittarius moon:

A Sagittarius moon may come off very happy go lucky, joyful, and all around pleasant. They're also very expressive of their emotions. As this is a Jupiter ruled moon, this placement may only like to deal with the positive emotions (Jupiter= optimism) and try not to deal with the negatives, yet that's not how it works sag moon 😂. A sagittarius moon may also become emotionally wiser as they grow older (Jupiter = wisdom). Since Jupiter is also the planet of expansion, the emotions of a Sagittarius moon may know no bounds, which is something they must be aware of, but that doesn't mean that's a green light for yall to invalidate their emotions niether 😡. Sagittarius moon need emotional FREEDOM, they just need to know the time and place to do so. Sag moon may also change their emotional perspectives by travelling to places they haven't been and get different perspectives. This also contributes to a sag moon's wisdom. A sagittarius moon may have a mom/women in their lives who are free spirited, very wise people, happy go lucky, and also love to travel with their children. Since Sagittarius also rules law, religion/belief systems, and higher academia, I wouldn't be surprised if a sag moon would have a mom/women in their lives that are pastors, lawyers, professors, or spiritualists.

Capricorn moon:

This moon is in its detriment here. Detriment means a planet is placed in the opposing sign of what it rules (Cancer-Capricorn are opposing signs). A capricorn moon may not necessarily feel emotional warmth unfortunately. This placement is methodical about their emotional processes, yet they must understand emotion and logic are two, separate things. It's okay if you feel a little icky and dont know why, just let it flow cap moon. A capricorn moon may also be emotionally connected to their social status as capricorn rules 10th house themes like social status. The higher and better the status, the better they're off, or at least that's what they may feel. Similar to virgo moon, a capricorn moon may feel best when at work or working on their career (Capricorn = career path) or doing something business like. Referring back to the emotional warmth point, since Saturn rules restrictions, a person with a capricorn moon may have a mom/women in their lives that may make them feel emotionally restricted or dont listen to their emotional needs (*hugs capricorn moon because I care about your emotions at least cap moon 🥺*). A capricorn moon may also have a mom/women in their lives that are career-oriented or care alot about their social status/prestige (unfortunately sometimes at the child's expense). On the flip side, a capricorn moon may also have women that can help them advance in their careers!

Aquarius moon:

Another moon placement that is methodical/rational about their emotions. Aquarius is traditionally ruled by Saturn so there would be similarities, yet like cap moon, remember emotion isnt logic Aqua moon ☺️. An Aquarius moon may like to process their emotions doing humanitarian work or being around friends (Aquarius =social groups) like Libra moon! Aquarius may feel at peace fighting for the greater good or being involved in community activities! Also, since Aquarius rules tech and the internet, an aquarius moon may play alot of video games or vent on the internet on Reddit (just an example lol). Since Aquarius are also inventive, they may create a project and put their feelings into that project, esp if it's a tech related project (Aquarius = technology). Someone with an Aquarius moon can have a mom/women in their lives who are heavy in the tech industry, may be active on social media/be social media personalities, may be very active in their communities(like a social justice advocate for ex),or may have a very original relationship with their mom/women in their lives. On the negative side, Aquarius is ruled by Uranus(being ahead of the time, osctrization) and Saturn(restrictions), an Aquarius moon may have a mom/women in their lives that may not take their emotional needs seriously or express a disinterest in them, similar to cap moon. Yet, your emotions still deserve to be heard as well Aqua moon!

Pisces moon:

A Pisces moon may feel very connected with their emotions. Also, a Pisces moon may have emotions that run DEEEEPPPPP. This is possibly due to the fact Pisces represent the oceans, so they feel emotions so deeply. That's not bad at all, as we need more people like this (lol that's my Pisces sun being biased). But fr, this helps a Pisces moon be extremely creative and put those emotions into their projects. Since Pisces is modernly ruled by Neptune and traditionally by Jupiter(both representing spiritualism/ spiritual beliefs), Pisces moon may feel at peace when having a belief system or expanding themselves spiritually. Also, Pisces rules the 12th house themes. So it is tough when it comes to being a Pisces moon. Sometimes they dont know how they feel because they....literally dont know lol. 12th house rules loss and things we believe are there, but cant pinpoint. That's super frustrating for the Pisces moon. Being ruled by Neptune also means a Pisces moon may question their emotions alot as Neptune represents illusions, esp if alot of people have invalidated their emotions over time :/. Yet, sometimes what's understood dont gotta be explained Pisces moon!!!! LOL YOU KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! A pisces moon may have a mom/women in their lives that are very spiritual, spiritually free, and also go with the flow. Wont be surprised if they have moms/women in their lives who are pastors as well. They may have an easy going, free nature with their mom or women in their lives. Yet, being a Neptune ruled moon, sometimes it's hard for a Pisces moon to understand where their relationship lies with their mom/women in their lives; it's just downright confusing at times 🙃🙃🙃😪.

And that completes the Moon Sign Magic series!!! I hope you all learned. It's not perfect but hopefully it's a start to your learning. See you in the next post!!

-Claude

[kaz11283]

“Jealous? I ain’t jealous!” with Loki for the prompt list? Pretty please?

Jealous? I ain't Jealsous!

Pairing: Loki x Reader, Thor X Read (platonic)

Warnings: some swear words, none

Summary: You've been invited to one of the castles parties by the God of Mischief himself, of course he is your best friend.

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"I feel ridiculous." You stated as Thor pulled you toward the great room. "Thor I dont think I should be here." You planted your feet on the ground causing him to stop and turn around. Sure you had been to other events held in the castle but never anythung this fancy before. The gown you wore was a little over the top for you, the heels were to high, and your hair had to many pins in it to count.

You was use to the simple dresses, flat shoes, and loose hair that ran down your back, but you had to keep reminding your self you was doing all of this for him. For him to possibly notice you for someone more than just a person to vent to.

"You will be fine Lady Y/N. You look beautiful as always, Loki is very lucky to have someone as divine as you." Thor gave you one of his signature smiles. He was one of the greatest friends that you had. He had helped you pick everything out from the dress (that he had paud for, he wouldnt take no for an answer) all the way to how you was going to approach the whole topic with Loki.

As soon as you walked into the hall a few of the people bear the door turned to look at you and bow to Thor.

"Lady Y/n, would you like to dance?" A handsome man you had seen a few times around came to you and bowed.

"Ummm no no. I dont really dance." You tried waving him off.

"Non sense, everyone dances even if it is not good." He smiles as he takes your hand.

"Thor help please." You mouthed as you was lead away. The dance lasted longer than you were hoping and your toes where the man had been stepping was sore. "Thank but I really must go." You bowed to him walking off.

"I shall kill you by the end of the night Thor." You said grabbing on to his arm to steady yourself as you fixed your shoes. He laughed as he offered your hand.

"Come then dance with someone who doesnt have two left feet. Have you seen Loki yet?" He asked spinning you arund alot more graceful than the other had.

"I have not seen your brother yet but I bet he would have helped me out." You rolled your eyes.

"I couldn't help you out with the one but I can save you from this one if you would like?" I smooth voice asked from behind you. Tur kng you seen the raven haired man dressed in black pants with an elegant black top his emerald cloak hanging behind him. He offered his hand to you, a dazzeling smile greeted you.

"I would very much like that." You took his hand and let him spin you around the room like you was air. "I thought you was going to meet me here?"

"I truly did try, my father had some business he wanted to discuss." He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him, his left hand resting on the small of your back. "I didnt however think you would simply go from one brother to the next so fast though sweetheart." He laughed.

"Sir, are you jealous that Thor has kept me busy while I had to wait?" You grined up at him.

"Jealous? Darling I assure you I am not jealous." He laughed. "I do not however like that fact that I missed the first dance with you." After the dance was over he lead you out of one of the side doors that lead to a long hall.

"I must talk to you about what father wanted." He looked nervously at you.

"I wanted to talk to you also Loki. I know how this might sound though." You stopped and grabbed his arm. "Hold on I must get out of these shoes. They are killing me."

"You are the only woman I know that would rather walk bare foot." He laughed as he steady you long enough to take off your shoes. Hold out a hand he took them from you.

"Father wants me to pick a bride. Says that its time I take responsibility and that since Thor does not want the throne I am next." Your heart shattered. Of course he would chose one of the other princesses from other places. You had no fight in this battle. "What was it you wanted to say?" Your heart lept to your throat. Could you tell him? Let him reallt know how you felt. Might as well, whats the worst that could happen?

"Loki I love you. I have loved you for a while now. You are, and always will be my best friend, and I will stand behind you. Who ever you decide to choose." You looked up at him. Tears in your eyes, he met you with a smile.

"Well thats good I guess, one of the conditions was that I got ti choose who I was to court. I was wondering if I could possibly court you Lady Y/n?"

Your jaw dropped you had never imagined him feeling the same. Becore you could even think you had wrapped your hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down meeting your lips. "You know this would have been easier if you had kept the shoes on." He laughed pulling away slightly. "But I wouldn't have it any other way." He leaned back down catching your lips again.

In the distances you heard Thor shouting into the great hall. "Mother! She accepted! We are going to have a wedding!" Cheers rose from the room.

"Must we go back in there?" You mumbled.

"No, lets go some where thats more private." He saod simply pulling you after him.

~~~~

ANNOUNCEMENT: first request done! Annon I hope you enjoy it! It came out a little longer than I had planned. I think i've just came to realize that I cant write short one shots 🙈😁 thank you so much though. I really did enjoy writing this one.

~~~~

Tag list:

@sophlubbwriting

[compassionatereminders]

Hey I used to be positive about life and to wait for things to happen but instead it feels like each year gets worse. I've been chronically ill since 14 and new health problems come up each year which I am so drained of. Like totally give up. Each aspect feels rubbish. No social life, never had a love life. Have friends but rn they're at different stages of their life and I'm very happy for them however, I still feel some way. Somewhat jealousy, just to have an ounce of something good happening with me also. I wish my health just got better it would relieve a lot of my stress. Also my friend is getting married which ofc I'm happy of but looking at all my friends who either will be or atleast talking to someone just makes me feel so alone. Its hard to even get them to meet up when we want. Its just not the same. It makes me feel incredibly lonely. I wish i had a partner too though I don't voice it out to people constantly as they have to me. I just i guess wish I had atleast one aspect of my life great, you know? I also want to be loved, do things with and so on. Everyone at my age are accomplishing so much, gettng married and I'm the only one who isn't getting neither. It just feels like a lonely road. I keep getting the usual "just wait til it comes" and honestly nothing annoys me more than that. Because even I would convince myself of that for years and guess what, nothing, instead I got more issues occurring. Its very easy to people who have everything to say that, i wish it was easy as that. But reality is this and its never easy. Idk it feels like I've come to a point where nothing feels positive anymore. Sorry just had to vent this out bc it bothers me a alot. If you have or able to read this, thank you

I know exactly how hard it can be to watch everyone else grow up and achieve this and that while you're still stuck in a limbo due to your disability. So I really don't blame you for feeling hopeless and negative. But I still encourage you not to give up on yourself and your life. Good things can and will happen, even if there are many things you can't do. They may come in a different form than expected, but while I haven't gotten any less sick in the last decade, I have gotten happier in several areas. That's not meant to invalidate your pain at all. I just want to say that while I get it - I really, truly do - I still believe it's possible for good things to happen

[ghost-wysteria]

Dating dustin Henderson<3

This is a male reader female/fem aligned dni!

Cuddles. All the time. But only when your alone because your both boys and the party finds it mushy and gross💀

Kisses. He'll give you kisses around people but only people you guys trust(etc. The party, steve, robin, nancy<3)

He loves to kiss you on the forehead and cheek but if you want he'll definitely kiss you on the lips super flustered when he does tho

You kiss his hand and it makes him crazy red

Hugs anywhere and everywhere bear hugs to be specific

You've known him since the rest of the party started. You all became friends when you were little

He told you he liked you first. When you started dating you both agreed only a few people could know since you lived in hawkins Indiana in the 1980s

He'd definitely say stuff like "i hope some day people like us will be normal to strangers" cuz he just seems like he'd say that

Constantly saying cute shit like "your so handsome" "your hotter then the sun" "you remind me of (favorite flower)" and just other dorky stuff to get you flustered but bc he loves you🥰

Is alittle bit scared people will find out about you guys being gay. I mean you guys already get bullied just for being nerds. Imagine what would happen if people knew you were gay.

When the party found out they were extremely accepting just said "you better still hang out with us or we're gonna have to break you up"(in a joking way obviously<3)

When steve finds out he's basically just a proud mother "oh my oh my. Dustin my friend has finally found himself a lover? Guess my hair tips worked" we love steve

Nancy didnt really care. Robin on the other hand was absolutely all over you "finally i have someone who relates to me! We're gonna be best buddies" and you guys did become best buddies

In season 3 when they went into the Russian base under the mall dustin tried to make you stay out of it for your safety but you absolutely refuse. "If your going to be in danger so am i" kinda thing

Erica immediately knew. If you were small enough to fit in the vents with her she'd randomly go "so you and the nerd are a thing am i right? Dont worry i wont tell" and you'd just be confused at how she figured it out (she totally watches the party when theyre out alone💀)

Dustin constantly worrying about you but still being happy that your always next to him when he's in danger.

Your bestfriends with steve. Basically as close as him and dustin

You definitely have a bat with nails in it just like him and your chaotic asf and steve loves it. Thinks your a mini him(minus the no love life) he also gave you his hair secrets(but depending on you. You might like your own hair routine more)

In season 2 when Billy started beating up steve you grabbed a baking sheet and smashed it on the side of Billy's head yelling "ding ding motherfucker!" And Dustin thought it was the scariest yet coolest thing you've ever done

You talk to him on the supercom on a channel that no one ever goes on so you teo can flirt like little "you look so pretty"s and "those shorts looked nice" just wholesome flirting.

He likes to be holding your hand in someway constantly if theres alot of people he'll just interlock your pinkies so people dont notice

The party definitely likes you as a couple more then Mike and el cause you dont ditch them💀

Best friends with will<3 you love dnd as much as him and your just super duper close

His mom would be super accepting she just radiates ally

You cried alittle when mews died bc you love cats(if you dont love cats what are you doing with your life) but you still helped dustin bury her and look for dart.

Your very protective of Dustin. Like when one of the demodogs looked like it was gonna attack Dustin you stood infront of him with your bat scared shitless

Your also bestfriends with max and el. Your totally invited to the girl hangouts "dustin i cant call babe im doing hotgirl shit playing spin the bottle with the gals"

When the steve and robin hold the door for you guys to escape the Russian base you stay back and hold the door. When you get captured you get beat up like steve and dustin is just a worried mess like "omg omg omg i cant believe you stayed your all bloody omg omg"

Your definitely closer to steve then eddie but you and eddie are good friends

If you smoke you definitely buy from eddie and you both promise not to tell dustin because he'd rip both of your heads off

He much prefers you go to his house then yours because his mom is way less invasive

Idk why but dustin gives me asexual vibes its random but yeah😭

Him holding your thigh while cuddling<3

You putting your head in the crook of his neck. Just. Yes.

Playing with his curls and him playing with your hair back<333

Playing dig dug together and dustin trying to absolutely destroy you in it.

Hes smarter then you. But your similar in some subjects.

But when it comes to "street smarts"(dont know if thats the word to use) your smarter. You think ahead more or just have generally better plans... but sometimes you just rush in..

You own a baseball bat even tho you've never played and when dustin asks why you tell him "well. My dad bought it for me but never let me hang out with the baseball kids" and dustin would be kinda confused but shrug it off

Suzie? She exist but shes simply just super close with dustin

Your favorite song is definitely never ending story<3

You and him love to sing it together when your alone

He lets you lie on his chest and vice versa

Dancing in his room in the middle of the night

Claudia(Ms. Henderson) definitely calls you sweetheart or honey and some cute version of your name(ex; miles=mimi) or something along those lines

He loves to read comic books to you

Playing tag but him getting exhausted alot faster

Or if your like me and have asthma you get exhausted way faster and he helps you breath steadily again(sweet sweet boy)

Bullying mike.. you love to playfully bully mike

He loves the sound of your voice and your breathing. He loves just hearing you. He'll randomly ask you a bunch of questions just to hear your precious voice.

If you guys ever were found out he absolutely wouldnt leave you and he would just start embracing it kissing you and holding your hand all the time just to piss pff bullies

Nicknames

Dustin: dust, dustbunny, honey, sweetheart, lovely, darling, babe, pretty boy.

You: (variations of your name), love, baby, darling, angel, handsome

[vennystuffs]

Welcome to my tumblr! :]

☆ here's a little introduction ☆

• hi! im ven, im sixteen and i like to paint and draw both traditionally and digitally, i also like to edit despite not doing much lately and im also learning html,.css and java coding. :]

• i go by they pronouns, please respect them

• DNI (do not interact): proship, prolife, against (EDUCATED) self diagnosis (and has a valid reason for it), basic dni criteria (racist, homophobe etc.)

• BYF (before you follow): I do vent on here from time to time, not graphically, but i do make sad posts so if like that makes u uncomfy i guess heres your first warning, also alot of my interests have blood and death mentions involved so if u dont like that theres a warning too. when talking abt my problems i will mention neurodivergency and mental illness symptoms since when told im having therapy arranged its just left as an empty promise. the reason i don't like people who are against reasonable self diagnoses is bc i have shown alot of symptoms for disorders and illnesses that i suffer from bc of the lack of help i have and dont rlly have access to therapy easily.

• my interests (hyperfixations will be marked with a ♡):

tokyo ghoul ♡

genshin ♡

south park ♡

omori

undertale/deltarune

stranger things

your turn to die

vocaloid

serial experiments lain

• special characters ☆:

☆ ken kaneki

☆ xiao ☆ kyle, kenny

☆ basil, kel

☆ will byers

☆ ranmaru kageyama, joe tazuna,

shin tsukimi

☆ hatsune miku, fukase

lain irakuwa

some of my social medias (most active will have ☆ next to it):

• ☆ my instagram, this is my main account where i post my edits and im most active on, my art account is alatusluvrr, alot of the art is old and im trying to be more productive :3

• ☆ tiktok, im very active on here, also if u choose to follow me on here i apologise if u ever get a random dm saying ive sent you a video, im either sending them w/o realising or its a glitch

• ☆ ko-fi my commissions are open!! all my services are on here but i also have a post stating what i do here aswell

• neocities, this is the website im working on where ill be posting about my interests, updates on my life, and sharing ideas and progress of projects i have planned or am currently working on, its a huge work in progress at the moment though so while i am active im probably going to be coding most of the time

• twitter, i am very inactive on here, like i only ever reblog and add a quote and very rarely aswell, theres old art on there too.

[thelemoncoffee]

yaknow- i said i was gonna try my hand at making my own takes on at least Kagehara and Bonkichi- guess i should actually do that.

here's my take- instead of the abusive or hella creepy stuff where one or both are completly off their rocker cause i never understood that- what if they're just two nerds who suck at socializing who found one another and decided the other was really cool, and they like them alot, and maybe they should hang out or something

Bon carries over my artistic talent hc from Ouma, and loves to draw all sorts fanart, from fluff to angst to shitposts. He likes to draw Kage fanart of all the detective character as those are all his favorites, and sometimes draws a ship or two for him. He has a wall he covered in traditional art, and has almost run out of space on his tablet from the sheer amount of digitals drawings and refrence images he has saved.

It's his comfort/venting media so he spends alot if time working on new art when his paranoia issues are higher than they should be (which is more often than he'd ever admit) Bon is reserved, but still a bastard and loves to do things that tic people off, he's a bully in that regard- using a verbal bite to keep people out of his buisness. People love his art, but most don't ever confront him cause they'd rather not get bullied, the only person to have actually surpassed his bullying is Kage, and even then to an outsider the way Bon talks to Kage sounds like bullying- even if it's lighthearted

Kage is a semi school-popular danganronpa geek who loves to write, he does mainly theories- but on ocassion he'll bust out a great fanfic / oneshot. He's mainly popular because of his looks but most find his DR hyperfixation a turnoff so not that many people actually try to go after him, as results he gets some very mixed interactions.

Kage is the kind of guy to sit there and rattle your ears off about little very unnoticable things in danganronpa that are somehow importiant to the overaching plot of DR. the only known people to have enough patience for his rants are his tumblr followers, and Bon- who also follows him on tumblr. He honestly is just a harmless geek and most people can't handle how much energy he puts into his hyperfixation, so he just kinda vibes with the few people who don't mind. Outside of his hyperfixation he's mostly a talkative but shy geek with some serious adhd that he has meds for but forgot to take for the past year. he also has a soft spot for anything fluffy

it's also worth to note here i 100% think these two are dating and people just don't realize it cause Bon's publicly used love language is insults, and Kage is just too much to really imagine anyone actually finding a personality to love underneith the DR hyperfixation, but they make it work and very well. They probably were mid fangan creation when the oprotunity to join DR popped up. Kage was so desperate to be part of it he over exagerated himself in the audition to try and secure a place, and Bon joined to fufill a personal desire to fuck shit up- he'd actually gone behind Kage's back to join cause he didn't want him freaking out over his safty

[haziel-luz]

Own it..then Redeem it (2007!Leonardo x reader)

Chapter 4:  Just Words or Truth?

Winter gives smiles and dries his hair with the towel around his neck.

“Ms.Lane, thank you for showing (Y/n) to my office, you may leave.” Winter smiles and the assistant blushes with a nod. She gives you the most envious glare in history before she closes the door.

“Follow me (Y/n).” Winters disappeared back into his second floor and you went up the stairs and followed him to what seems like his home.

“So your work is your home?” You asked, staring at everything in awe. The whole thing felt like a secret base in the office. ‘Just how rich is he?’

“I say it’s better here than to just keep driving around all day. Far easier.” Winters explained and smiled at you while going to the kitchen and pouring me a glass of champagne. He brings the glass towards me and sets his towel on one shoulder.

“Have you decided on my offer, my dear?” Winters looks at you curiously.

“Oh yea, um, I decided to accept your offer on the job. When do you want me to start?” You sat on the couch with him.

“That’s marvelous my dear. You can start tomorrow if you want. I will send a driver to your home.”

“Oh you don’t have to do that.”

“No my dear, I want to. You are the special piece missing in this company and I would love to give you everything you deserved before your workload would commence. Shall we have dinner tonight as a celebration?” Winters gives you the most charming smile.

“Thank you but maybe another night. I made other plans with my friends.” You smiled apologetically. You couldn’t forget about telling your friends about this. Winters is a good friend to you but you couldn’t let it in the way.

“Very well my dear. Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna get ready for a meeting in 30 minutes.” Winters stands up and starts walking to his room until he stops at the door frame. “How about tomorrow night?”

You chuckled while shaking your head. “Sure, tomorrow night sounds good. Good day Mr.Winters.”  You smiled and walked out of his ‘secret’ apartment.

Winters smiled and went back inside his room. Never in his immortal life, has he met a woman like you. If only he met you in his time period, maybe he wouldn’t have stumbled upon this curse. Winters puts his suit on and looks at the warrior suit he had displayed in another closet. He has lived all these years in regret, now knowing that he wants to lead a life full of family. He looks out the window and brings a small smile to his lips. The end of regret and suffering has to start somewhere, and you are that key. Which is why… ‘I want to tell you everything myself.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked out the building and a truck honked at you.

“Hey where do you think you're going?” A familiar male voice hollered at you and you turned around.

You see April and Casey leaning on the delivery truck. You walk towards them with a smile on your face.

“I didn’t think I would bump into you both here, but I guess now is better than later.” You hugged April and Casey.

“So you are gonna explain to us? That’s a shame, I wanted to press every single one of your buttons.” April playfully huffed.

“Looks like I saved myself the trouble. Should we go and talk to the guys now? I’ll explain my actions on the way.” You chuckled at her and she nodded.

“Sure, we’re off of work anyways, let’s go to my car.” April smiles and takes out her keys.

“Finally some time with the guys.” Casey smiles to himself and walks along.

“Yea.” You try not to think so much about your encounter with Leo. Raph was right, I have to talk to him one of these days. ‘And thats today.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and the ‘perfect’ couple arrived at the lair and helped them carry some books from the car. Donnie requested some of these from April and he might as well have a library. Coming back to a warm atmosphere that you missed, there was also some tension in this familiar place.

“You guys came!” Mickey was the first to see you three and gave each of you a hug, but yours was the longest. When Mickey pulled away from you, he gave you a big happy smile and you gave one back.

“Of course we did.” You nudged his shoulder with yours, careful not to drop the books. You guys walked to the dinner table to place the books down.

“So where’s Donnie?” April asked, sitting down while Casey went to an arcade machine.

“He’s in his lab but he’ll be out shortly.” Leo suddenly came into view from the training area they had. He was working up a sweat, and just Winter’s he was wearing a towel around his neck like he just got out of the shower. ‘Why do these men have to show up like this?’

“I might as well say ‘hi’ to Splinter while I’m at it.” You swiftly moved to where Splinter would most likely be. In his meditating room. You needed some type of voice to tell that things will get better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo just stared at you walking to Splinter’s meditating room and sighed. Mikey, Casey and April gave Leo a sympathetic look. Seeing you both torn apart like this made them feel bad.

“That bad huh?” Raph came out from his room and jumped down near the dining table.

“Dude, maybe you should make the first move and talk to her.” Mikey suggested.

“Yeah, (Y/n) may be able to listen to you, just as long as you give her the chance to vent on everything she’s held on.” April agreed and gave Leo a reassuring smile.

“That’s if she wants to give in to that chance. Ya know, girls like (Y/n) live by the motto ‘treat people the way you want to be treated’ and I think that’s exactly what she’s doing.” Raph scoffs and Leo only glares at him.

“Let me guess, you gave her that advice.” Leo pulls the towel down away from his neck. April and Mikey can only watch as the two opposite brothers try to square up.

“Oh please, you wrecked the stable relationship you two had. I told her to patch things up with you quickly so that it can just be you and me in the ring.” Raph stood tall with the toughest glare he could give his eldest brother. Sure, Raph was willing to fight his brother one-on-one but it was just downright low to hurt your relationship with Leo in the process. He’d never do that to you or Leo no matter how mad he was at him.

“Guys, cool it.” April stood up slightly and Mikey stood closer to April in case a fight broke out between his brothers. Casey stopped whatever he was playing and stared at the tense scene. He doesn’t want his friends fighting, but he could try to rip them apart from each other.

“The books are here, thanks guys, I appreciate it!” Donnie came into the tense room with a cup of coffee in his hand. Everyone was thankful that Donnie came on time to end the tension. Raph scoffed and left the room while Leo glared at his exit. Everyone let out a breath they were keeping in and Donnie was just confused.

“What did I miss?” Donnie asked the other three and Mikey leaned close enough for him to hear.

“One word, (Y/n).” Mikey said low and discreet enough to make sure he understood. Donnie quickly caught on to the drama.

“Anyways! How about we start with opening these books, shall we?” April insisted to change the subject and Donnie happily agreed. Mikey went to his skateboarding ramp and Casey went back to his game. Leo calmly brought his breathing and anger level down, making his way to his room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You cautiously entered Splinters calm area and the vibe in the room instantly took you over. Breathing out calmly, you walk towards Splinter and he slowly opens his eyes.

“My child, it’s been a while. How are you?” Splinter says gently and gestures you to sit down. He’s been nothing but a sweetheart to you, even if he hasn’t for days. Sometimes you feel guilty for not visiting him more often.

“I’ve been well, I missed you alot Splinter.” You responded and sat down in front of the table. He takes out two tea cups and pours tea on each of them calmly.

“I’ve missed you too my child. I know you’ve been a busy woman. Tell me, are you having any hardships. You know you're always welcome to stay here whenever you like.” Splinter gives you a soft smile, hiding how much he worries about your well being like a father would. Your heart melts for his worries. You wonder what you’ve done to earn a father figure like this, even your own father doesn’t really think about you when he should.

“I’m doing pretty well. My job is paying me well enough and rarely any hardships, but thank you for your offer and concern.” You smiled reassuringly at him. Splinter smiles and drinks his tea, satisfied that your well. You drink as well and your eyes land on a picture beside him. The first picture of everyone together.

“You still have it?” You smiled to yourself and stared at the picture. Splinter looks at the picture and smiles at it.

“Yes, the very first picture of a complete family. I became really happy with how much you’ve all grown since then.” Splinter smiles adoringly at the family photo.

“I was really a rookie back then, still learning right from wrong. Wow, I was so naive” You chuckled and Splinter joined.

“You may have been naive and a ‘rookie’, but to me you’ve given us more to learn.” Splinter smiles at you with appreciation. You tilt your head by the credit he gave you.

“I don’t think I’ve given you guys more to learn.” You were confused, you’ve actually learned more from them than they did from you.

“Well, my sons have learned very important things from you. Reminding them that together we can all be stronger. Helping them realize that finding love comes from within first.” Splinter drinks his tea, his description made you realize what this was about.

“Basically, I should be talking to Leo, shouldn’t I.” You traced the rim of the tea cup, in thought.

“I didn’t imply anything, my child. I know you have your reasons, and reasons should be heard.” He gently put his cup down and poured more tea. Splinter was right, even though he hasn’t explained his words specifically. You and Leo have been separated enough, if the last thing you could do was listen to why he did what he did, then maybe you can both at least go on from the heartbreak.

“Your right, it should. Thank you, Splinter.” You put the cup down and left with determination. Splinter drank his tea and smiled to himself. ‘Finally.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo was just meditating in his dark room with candle lights around him. He breathes in and out, his mind clearing and feeling relaxed. Yet, everytime he tries to clear his mind, you always show up instead. The memories of the two of you, the history of how you met him and his brothers. He screwed up big time when he sent you that letter, he can only imagine how hurt you were.

These arguments with Raph made him realize that he hurt you more than intended. He tensed up a bit when his door was opened without knocking. Taking a deep breath in and out, he sighed and rubbed his temple. “Listen Raph. If you're gonna come in here to penalize with more yelling, then you should leave cause I’m not in the mood.”

“It’s not Raph.” Your voice interrupted his frustrated thoughts. Leo froze for a second and composed himself. He stood up and turned around, surprised that you even made the move to come into his room.

“(Y-Y/n), hey, I thought you were Raph. N-Not that you look like him, I mean- I assumed-You know what, I’m just surprised.” Leo quickly faltered again and you raised an eyebrow at him, amused by how nervous he was.

“I guess that makes two of us. Listen, I just wanted to talk, if you're not busy.” You took the first step and closed his door.

“Sure, I’m not really busy right now.” Leo sat on his bed and patted a spot next to him. You accepted the seat and crossed your legs on his bed. You really missed the comfortable feeling.

“I’m sorry.” Leo started before you can even ask. You faced him and were confused. He continued, “I never wanted you to be so hurt this way. I just thought it would be easier for you to make something better out of your life than just me.” He explained with a sigh. That explanation just spiked up your anger.

“What do you mean by that? You think you can just decide ‘what’s better’ for my life?” You snapped and frowned. Leo flinched but he knew he deserved it so he stayed composed.

“Your right, I had no right to decide that for you, and I know that it’s a low excuse for a break up. But just look at my point of view for a second, I’m a mutant, meaning that my life choices are so limited that it almost seems impossible to have a normal life.” Leo confessed his insecurities but you were still mad.

“Leo, I knew what I signed up for the moment you asked me out. I even imagined the whole relationship between us when I only had a crush on you, but now you're overthinking about that?” You fumed, standing up and facing him with crossed arms.

“Yes I am. You deserve more than me (Y/n).” Leo says sternly and stands up as well. You can’t believe he was saying this.

“What? You're just gonna give up on me when things get tough in your future plans?” You’re not gonna stand down, now he deserves to hear everything he put you through. “After all we’ve been through, you're willing to throw that all away just because our future won’t be normal for me? I call bullshit. I just can’t believe you set me up for the fall.” You started to raise your voice at him.

“If anything, I’m giving you higher options to have a better future.” Leo reasoned while raising his voice a bit, slightly losing his cool.

“Oh sure, yea, let me just thank you for thinking about my future. Real eye-opening of you to realize that you were and always will be a mutant. You know what, I should go ahead and show my appreciation to you by looking for a mutant girl to give you a promising future.” Your sarcasm hit him and now he frowns at the last part.

“I don’t have anyone else, if that’s what you're suggesting.” Leo gritted his teeth. This isn’t how he thought the conversation would go at all.

“Well, damn Leo! Why else would you break up with me through a letter while you’re in Central America?!  It’s either that or I’m not good enough for you.‘Thinking about your future’ my ass!” You retorted with a glare.

“I don’t want you to regret being stuck with me after you realize all the options you had beforehand! I never want to be the reason why you can’t have a good career, a child, or a wedding. I know what I can offer...and it isn’t good enough for you.” Leo’s frustration faded into sadness. Your anger subsided into some guilt and sighed softly to yourself.

You analyzed the situation and blamed some of it on yourself for blowing the conversation into an argument. He had some fault in it too and he knows it. You weren’t a mutant, but you can understand the pressure he feels for trying to give you everything he obviously can’t. Then again, that doesn’t excuse him to let you go so easily, not without knowing how much it hurt you.

“Leo, I love you so much,” He instantly looked into your eyes surprised, “ and I’m sorry, for not giving you enough strength during our relationship.” Leo was about to oppose until you stopped him.

“(Y/-” “No, let me finish. I’ve always told you that ‘I’m so happy that I have you with me.’ This past year has been hell without you. You don’t even know how much I missed you. I mean, look at me! I haven’t slept well until I found out you came back home.” You pointed out the bag under your eyes. Leo started walking closer to you until you stopped him by putting a hand on his chest.

“If you never trusted those words to heart, then it’s pointless...to both of us.” You finished and turned around to leave with tears collecting in your eyes. Leo called out for you but you ignored him. You even ignored everyone else’s concerned expressions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You went out of the sewer and walked around the rooftop. Leo may have some insecurities but you’ve always given him reassurance that you will always be by his side. You went above and beyond for him, so why did he still doubt it? If he was gonna give up then so were you..no matter how much it hurts you.

“(Y/n)?” Raph appeared behind you so suddenly that you turned around without wiping your eyes. “What the hell happened??” Raph jumped down and took his Nightwatcher helmet off.

“J-just went to finally talk to Leo. It’s fine really, things didn’t go as well as I hoped.” You wiped your eyes and gave him a reassuring smile.

Raph frowns and huffs, “That's what you call fine? Stay here, I’m gonna go knock some sense into him.” Raph starts to walk away with his duffle bag and you hold onto his arm.

“Raph no. Just don’t..” You felt a lump in your throat. You couldn’t say another word, cause it would just break you down again. Raph looked at your fragile form and sighed in irritation. All he wanted was for you to be happy with Leo. Sure, he and Splinter Junior have a lot to fix, even if it turns into another physical fight. You don’t look like you can take it anymore, you can barely hold on at this point.

Raph pulled you in for a hug and rubbed your back. You immediately broke down and held on to him. He’s had to console you so many times, so he wasn’t as awkward as the first time. You feel bad that Raph has to be the one to help you through this mess, he didn’t need this.

“Listen, I gotta do some Night Watcher patrol. Mind being my sidekick for tonight?” Raph cleared his throat and asked awkwardly. You snorted at his change of subject. He was still awkward at times. You pulled away and wiped your tears.

“Sure, I’m doing camera duty tho.” You accepted with a chuckle. Raph gave a small smile and put his helmet back on.

“Whatever you say, kid.” Raph makes you follow him to his bike.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo was in all sorts of emotion. Anger, regret, guilt, sadness. None of these are what he wants at all. Not the rival between him and Raph, and sure as hell not a fight between him and (Y/n). All he wanted was to come back to a complete home, but obviously it wasn’t gonna go that way. Splinter was right, we can’t be expected to continue with our lives as long as we’re fighting each other. Which is why he’s searching for Raph. He needs to talk to him and clear the air.

VROOOOM

‘Or maybe that could wait.’ Leo follows the direction of that well known disruptive motorcycle.

“I guess it’s time to introduce myself, Nightwatcher.”

////////////////////////////////////////

😆Aaaaaah!

😊Was it good? 😣Bad? 🤔Uh-ah-ummm. Please leave kudos or comments to know if I should update another one, or tell me how well I did. Cause honestly, I need determination. I'm gonna go lie down now.😴

↩ Previous Chapter 

↪ Next Chapter 

MASTERLIST

[queenofwerewolves]

A shitpost about my hair.

So my hair is my pride and joy, my best feature even if I may say. But also the instrument of stripping away any kind of control I have in my life.

My parents hated my hair ever since I cutted it short for the sake of "why the fuck not". It's grown since then and it goes all the way down my thighs, but it used to be wavy and full of volume like you see in my piccrews.

Until my parents had enough and wanted to straighten it, something they did ever since I was a kid but this time it was gonna have a longer result. I stopped straightning my hair since I was 15 to have SOME control of my body in my life, until I came to an impass.

You see Im an artist, I draw alot and only recently I started digitally, but this was only possible because of blackmail. My father has been promising me over a year to get me Photoshop for my art, nothing.

But after an evening of Useless Family Lectures And Banters Of My Future™, I made a deal with my dad. I would straighten my hair if he got me my photoshop.

He got it the next week.

And so I straighten it, it's a chemical process to keep my hair straight for a long period of time and... I hated it..

I made it CLEAR I hated it, and I almost got my ass beat for it too. My parents always said my hair wasnt good and I always asked them the samr question:

"Wasnt good for who? For me, the owner of the hair? Or for you?"

They always scoff whenever I say that but my message was clear: I wasnt going to let them have control of my body anymore.

Four months after I straighted my hair and I guess Im getting used to it. It's not MY hair but it isnt so bad. Im only mad because it wasnt MY choice, it was something I HAD to do because unless it's something financial, my parents have no interest whatsoever in my art passions, and it isnt the first time either.

Ever had a father who paid for your animation course, took you to your classes every Saturday, but when some random guys come in for small talk you hear your dad say "Im taking my daughter for her graphics design class?"

He didnt even know the kind of course he was paying for.

This was simply a vent about my hair, and how it impacts my life as in individual. I love my hair and I take good care of it, but I wish it wasnt the tool I had to use to appease my parents so I could follow my dreams..