#but i have even less idea of what the heck i'd do if i left taiwan

[thistransient]

While I was away, my friend who's down south for a month left his fan for me to borrow. Previously I had either been using my aircon extremely sparingly (only when over 30C at night) or laying on the floor sweating like god intended. The fan's arrival, however, immediately initiated an unprecedented new era of slothfulness. Where at least before there was some motive to go in search of cooler climes (the library, the park at night), now it was entirely realistic to hang out at home, sprawled in front of the device forever. The evils of technology made manifest!

Or so I thought. After a week of this, my paranoia over the one (1) query from the immigration officer was festering, and I was growing cognisant of the fact that I didn't actually want to live out my days in a tiny dark apartment, prostrated at the altar of the artificial breeze. (Or it could also be that I simply don't want to spend the rest of my life in a subtropical heat wave...) I was getting real moody about my prospects, or lack thereof. Today I decided to finally have a go at actually finishing the preliminary test for an editing company whose listing I've come across a couple times (and usually quit halfway through because imagining reading this sort of stuff for 8 hours a day seemed guaranteed to drive me batty). But recently my bff who used to have me proofread his undergrad papers started using ChatGPT to write them, leaving me bereft of grammatical errors to savage (and also the dinners he would trade for my diligent efforts).

So I almost immediately received an email prompting me to move to the next stage, HOWEVER for visa sponsorship apparently the gov't requires either a graduate degree OR a bachelors + 2 years of relevant work experience. No teaching. If blogging and editing for friends counted as experience, I would be golden. Or rather, if I could establish a paper trail for said experience...

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Do Ghost and Jade's kids don't know about their careers (or in Jade's case, former career)? Cause the comic you made of Andrew seeing Ghost in the middle of the night sorta implies they don't know about their parents' military background.

HMMM HM HM Good catch right there 👀👀

So this is also a part of what I've been thinking inside the Riley family after they have kids.

- I feel like the kids would definitely know about Simon's career as a soldier. BUT, as they are still in their early teens, I'd imagine that Andrew, Gracie, and later Orion know that their dad is a soldier, but that's the extent of their knowledge. They do know about Simon's nickname "Ghost", but they don't know how Simon operates inside the Task Force, they're not aware that their dad is an officer of one of the most elite and dangerous task force in the world. As far as they know, their dad only has edgy hobbies that involves black outfits and skull/skeleton themed. Heck, they even made fun of his preferences in outfits.

- But dear God, they never saw him in a full-on combat gear, in the dark of the night.

- Ghost is an officer, so day by day, he'd left the house with open face, and only wears the mask inside the car. After work day, he'd take off the mask before entering the house. If he's too tired, he'd try to sneak in in the deep of the night without making a sound. He'd sworn to himself that 'Ghost' will never enter his family and children's house/lives. They do not need trouble and his dangerous line of work to enter the one thing he cherishes the most.

- However, once you have kids, you can't hide anything forever. They'll find out by themselves (in this case, Andrew is entering his puberty and needs some midnight munchies). Simon and Lottie knows this, so they already have everything figured out. What would Andrew's reaction be, what would Gracie's reaction be, what would Orion's reaction be. They've discussed what they'd reveal, and what they'd still keep a secret, again, until they're old enough to know. They tread VERY carefully about it.

- About their mother though, that's a whole different story. After their marriage, Jade has strictly commited to be a mother for her kids, and opened a branch of The Garden in Herefordshire. She's an ✨ entrepreneur ✨. She's not that active to be called into deployment as before she had kids. If she's used to be 60% florist and 40% TF141 ally, after she had kids she'd be 98% Mum and Florist, and 2% TF141 Ally. Her kids literally only knows her as a florist, and that's it. Up until their late teens, Andrew, Gracie, and Orion would have no clue nor idea about her past with MI6. She didn't lie, she's just holding the truth until they're big enough to understand.

- In fact, Ghost BEGGED and asked Jade to not be active inside the TF141 or any conflicts anymore, considering Ghost would be deployed a lot (and how he's promoted to Captain and above), he'd want his wife to be with her kids. Jade herself also agreed, but she also told Ghost to not die and do stupid stuff. Even though married and less involved in the TF141 business, her resolve stayed the same. If he's missing, she'd pick up the guns in a heartbeat.

- Now, back to the kids. I'd imagine that because of how eventful each of Simon and Lottie's lives are, it sort of like become a game to the family. Each birthdays of the kids, Simon has established a "3 Question" rule game, where the kids can ask their parents anything about their lives. From Andrew and Orion, it's usually trivial and simple stuffs like "What's the naughtiest things you've ever done" "What's your favorite bla bla bla". HOWEVER, with Gracie, its always "What's your favourite mission?" "What's the worst condition of a dead body you've ever find?" "Who's the most difficult bad man you've ever encountered?" "Where is he now?"

- Ghost and Jade would answer with only two sentences. Looking at each other for approval. Gracie is most definitely Simon's daughter with that line of questioning. BUT, again, with every birthdays, and with their increasing age and they become more mature, they'll reveal everything bit after bit.

- By the time they finally know everything about their parents, they'd be in college years, probably, and Simon would no longer be the Ghost (he might be one of the higher ranked officer at this point), and Lottie would be completely out of the Task Force 141 game, becoming a regular civilian. Still, it'd be a legendary story to tell.

WOOHOO I kinda yapped a bit there, but hope that answer your question!

[genderlessghoul]

Thinking thoughts of transmasc Phantom's first experience with trans tape and it goes horribly wrong. Luckily, a certain fire ghoul finds him in his time of distress.

IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO GET THIS LONG WOAH.

Anyway, t4t Phantom and Dew fluff below the cut, with mention of trans Rain (everyone's trans, heck yeah) nothing sexual but they do be naked. Nothing graphic but Phantom do be getting scars in the long run.

This entire thing was a stupid idea. The idea of not having to wear an extra article of clothes to hide his chest had been very appealing, so was the thought of not having to reposition himself in a binder all day. He also had liked the prospect of getting to wear his binding equipment for a few days. But now it all seems like the worst decision he's made possibly ever.

He's on his second day with the tape on. It was fine the day before. It started being uncomfy during the evening but it didn't really bother him until that morning. He pulled through the entire day and every second he could feel the adhesive pull on his skin in the most uncomfortable way possible.

The decision was made right after dinner to take it off. His skin needed to breathe. The pull was painful when he entered the bathroom and now, 20 minutes later, it's unbearable. He needs the tape off yesterday. But he only got one tiny piece off and it felt like he was skinning himself alive. And he's supposed to do that for what, 7 more strips? He might just keep them on for the rest of his life, it's less painful than removing them.

He conciders it but he can't. He can't bare the feeling of anything touching his skin anymore. He tries to go back to removing the strips but it hurts too much, he's just making pathetic pained sounds while he pulls slowly, millimeter after millimeter. He's vaguely aware that his cheeks are wet but he doesn't know when he started crying.

Before long, he's on his knees on the cold bathroom floor, crying softly out of pain and frustration. Holding his head in his hands because he can't bare to remove the tape but he can't bare not to do it.

"What the fuck?"

Phantom about jumps out of his skin when he hears the voice. He turns around to find Dewdrop standing in the doorway. More like leaning against it, arms crossed over his chest. The quintessence ghoul didn't close the door but he didn't think he'd have to, as the only way in is through his own bedroom.

"You scared the living shit out of me, what the fuck are you doing in my room?" he's trying to hide the obvious shake in his voice with a dry tone, scrambling to dry his face with his sweaty palms. The last thing he needs right now is for Dew to make fun of him.

"We share a wall, dumbass, I could hear your whining. Decided I'd come check out the situation for myself. Now what do we have here?"

The fire ghoul walks up to the other and offers a hand to pick him off the floor. Once on his feet, Dew grabs Phantom by his shoulders to gently coax him into turning to the right, then to the left, taking the time to examine the pieces of athletic tape glued to his side. Phantom knows he looks ridiculous. The tape is that wanna-be flesh tone colour that doesn't look real on any human, much less on a ghoul with such dark grey skin and such bright white patches. The job is uneven, he couldn't get both sides to matches. The tape is full of ugly wrinkles that make his skin itch. Truly a poor sight to witness.

"Tried tape for the first time? Not too bad I guess... There's a whole lotta wrinkles in it though, it's not gonna be a fun time removing it."

Phantom's eyes glue to the floor at that last part and the fire ghoul catches onto it. A concerned and puzzled look paints itself on his face as he turns the younger ghoul around one more time. There in his back, he can see a bright red spot right in the middle of one of the quintessence ghoul's white patches, directly next to the tape.

"You absolute idiot. Are... Are you trying to remove it raw?"

"I figured it was like a bandaid, I could just peal it off... Obviously not." he speaks softly. Dew turns him around one last time and grabs his face to force him to make eye contact.

"Why in all seven circles of Hell would you not ask me about it? Or Rain? You can't just peal it off, you're gonna take your entire back, sides and tits out with it!"

"I don't know, I just didn't think there was anything more to it."

The fire ghoul lets him go with a sigh.

"Okay just... Just stay there, don't touch anything. I'll be back in a couple minutes, okay?"

"Yeah okay."

Dew leaves and Phantom thinks he might start to cry again. The whole pack would know in a matter of seconds, they'd surely laugh at him in the morning for his pathetic attempt. He stares at the singular piece of tape sitting on his bathroom counter, the only one he managed to remove. He should have asked Dew about it, about the entire process really, but he was so scared of being made fun of for needing help with a task that sounded so simple.

The fire ghoul returns soon enough, he's armed with a bottle of some liquid and one of his own towel. There's a couple other things in a pouch that he sets on the counter top.

"Get in the shower, we're gonna oil you up like a rotisserie chicken."

"What?"

Dew rolls his eyes. "This is baby oil, it helps break down the adhesive in the tape. I don't wanna make a mess of your bathroom floor so get in the shower!"

"They make oil out of babies???"

Phantom looks completely horrified and Dew's thoroughly unamused. "It's made for babies, dipshit."

"... Oh."

He strips out of his pajama pants and boxers and slips into the shower. The fire ghoul follows suit after removing his own clothes. He jumps straight into his task, uncapping the bottle and lining the lip with the top of Phantom's tape, letting the oil soak through the offending material. He glides the bottle slowly over the entire lenght of one side of the quintessence ghoul's body, then repeats on the other side. Dew restarts the process a few times, each time lower on the tape, until every part of it looks soaked.

"I'm gonna work the oil into the tape, just to make sure it's completely soaked throught. Let me know if any spot hurts in particular, okay? You probably have a fair amount of blisters and raw skin under there, I don't wanna hurt you more than I have to."

Phantom nods and Dew discards the bottle on the shower floor. He starts gently massaging the tape, starting in the back and moving slowly towards the front. He sees the way Phantom winces when his fingers press into the very back on the strips and tries to soften his motions.

"You shouldn't stretch the tape so much in the back. The first and last inch of a strip serve kind of as anchor points, don't stretch them or you're not gonna have a fun time." Dew offers his quintessence ghoul some advice as he works.

"Huh uh" Phantom elects to rest his head on the other's shoulder, inhaling his scent to distract from the accidental self-inflicted pain. He smells like wood smoke and fresh cinnamon rolls, a lot sweeter than usual. Dew's fingers work over a few wrinkles.

"Put the tape on as flat as possible. Wrinkles will cause blisters. They can get really big and leave stupid ugly scars. They're also generally just painful so don't do that shit on purpose."

"Huh uh" Phantom knows there's no magic coming from the fire ghoul, nut he still feels like his touch makes his skin feel better.

Once he's done massaging all over the tape, Dew elects to run his fingers over Phantom's shoulder blades in a soothing motion for a while. The younger ghoul's head is still resting on his shoulder, his breath slowly stabilizing now that there's no immediate pain inflicted on him.

"When you want to remove it, you have to make sure you completely soak it in oil for a little while before. Any oil works, really, I just liked baby oil the best back then. Mount would scold me over using anything from the kitchen since you need a pretty obscene amount."

Phantom lets out a small hum as a reply and his hands move absentmindedly to Dew's own sides, his thumbs resting at the base of his scars. If getting himself in a stupid predicament is all it takes to get the fire ghoul's soft and caring side, he should do stupid things more often.

They stay like that for a little while longer before Dew's hands make their way back to the tape. "Let's try this again now, shall we?"

Phantom apprehends the pain when fingers lift the corner of a strip, but it never comes. It's removed slowly, without any real struggle. The other ghoul lets it fall at the bottom of the shower with a wet thump.

"See?" he says in a soothing voice. "It's a whole lot better when you do it right."

The fire ghoul whispers soft praises into his ear as he continues the job, slowly, piece by piece, until they're all sitting next to their fallen comrade on the shower floor.

Dew places a small kiss to the top of Phantom's head before detaching him from his sides. He discards the strips of tape to a corner with his foot and turns on the water, setting it to a comforting warmth.

"Now we just gotta un-rotisserie chicken you. Don't wanna get your sheets all oily."

"It's gonna hurt like a bitch if you scrub."

"Not gonna scrub I promise. Been there done that, never again."

He doesn't give Phantom a chance to argue before he's picking up the bottle of coconut scented body wash, squirting some into his hands and lathering it. He repeats his task of slowly working over the previously taped area on the quintessence ghoul's body. He's working as gently as he can but he still sees the way Phantom clenches his teeth whenever he reaches a blister or a spot of particularly sore skin.

Dew makes sure the ghoul in front of him is completely cleaned of any oil before he works the few spots where he got some on himself. The water is closed and he takes the other's hand to guide him out of the shower. Dew wraps him towel over his hips before grabbing another one and patting Phantom dry, still as careful over his sensitive spots.

The quintessence ghoul catches a glimpse of himself in the shower and only then does he realise how badly he messed up. Any white area of his skin that was covered by the tape is now red and inflamed, the darker parts no doubt just a bad even if he can't see it. There's blisters all over his sides and back, of varrying sizes but all with a disturbing yellowish undertone. The front of his body was miraculously spared that treatment.

"It's not as bad as it looks, I promise." Dew tries some reassuring words while he rummages through the pouch he brought. He takes out a small jar and a roll of gaze.

"You should've seen Rain's first try, I was patching up holes in his back for like months. He wasn't as lucky as you, I only found him after he ripped off all the tape by himself."

"Wait really?"

"Yeah that's why he has those dark spots there. He tells everyone they're really big freckles but... Don't tell him I told you."

Dew takes off the lid of his small jar. There's so sort of jelly-looking substance inside. He silently coaxes Phantom into lifting his arms up so he can apply a fair amount over his wounds and sore skin, wrapping his entire chest with gaze once he's done.

"There. That should help everything heal faster."

"Thank you."

"Oh, don't mention it. I wasn't about to let you skin yourself alive. Now you know how to not do things next time."

"I'm really not concinced I want there to be a next time."

"Hey," he takes Phantom face in his hands once more "we've all been there. Binding correctly, especially with tape like that, it's a learning curve. Especially if you have no one to teach you. Or if you decide that you don't need to be taught. Just ask us for help next time, okay?"

"Yeah, okay..."

Dew places a soft kiss on the quintessence ghoul's lips before letting go of his face. "Come on, I'm getting hella tired."

He grabs Phantom by the hand and all but drags him to his bed. The fire ghoul lays on his back and encourages the other to lie on top of him, on his stomach so that he's not squashing any blister.

Phantom's head comes to rest on Dew's chest, hearing the consistent beat of his heart. Warm arms wrap themselves around his middle and start rubbing at his lower back.

"Sorry I ruined your evening. You probably plans that didn't involve having to rescue me from tape, of all things."

"Don't worry about it, baby boy." he plants another kiss in his hair and Phantom kicks up a purr at the pet name.

"I'm just glad I didn't catch you with fucking duct tape or some shit."

[tumblingxelian]

How does RWBY's worldbuilding hold up for you?

Ooh fun question, and one I can answer in a short amount of time!

Long story short, yeah it holds up quite well, I don't need to make any significant leaps in logic or desperately headcanon things to compensate the way I might with some other settings.

For instance most super hero settings don't hold up to scrutiny, or present themselves consistently/coherently once they starts whipping out the more ridiculous sci-fi tech and or magic.

This isn't to say its perfect, nothing is, or that there aren't more details I'd like to see explored or various minor nitpicks I could probably pull out if I felt so inclined.

But as it is, I don't, but its not because I just love the series.

See, as much as I love world building, I do think it gets too easily used as a cudgel by bad faith critics.

Let's be real here, even some of the worlds best authors do not have Tolkein's patience to create a whole new language, & I imagine even his stuff raised questions or inconsistencies.

The absence of local languages/accents, them not explaining the praying statues in the V4 trailer don't bug me. Cos their absence is not harming the story.

Meanwhile if there's an inconsistency or question, that too is fine as they are watched enough to avoid any real issues & so I can focus on having a good time.

Hell, let's bring up ATLA, the golden calf for critics who never watched anything else in their lives without asking "Where's the Zuko though?"

Off the cuff & late at night I can name many ATLA world building issues.

The writers one hundred percent do not grasp the philosophical ideas they are trying to espouse, showing a grasp of "Letting go" almost as wrongheaded anti Jedi people.

The origins and nature of bending is inconsistent even just within the first series, being and or coming from education, gifts, blood, spirits, some combination there-of or what have you.

If we jump to Korra the Spirits themselves are weird, initially presented as physical manifestations of a given land, they instead become essentially alien invaders & stuff like the Lion Turtles, Koi, Badger moles & more are just left as ???? Plus again spiritual misunderstanding.

Or heck, one of my biggest gripes ties into the plot as well but would be the introduction of "Bad firebending" and its counterpart "Good Firebending" introduced very late in the game at season 3.

The problem with saying it was meant to be a surprise is we've seen every Bender tap into anger when bending. Toph cracks the ground, Katara broke an iceberg, Aang goes into the Avatar State, ETC.

Anger & fire was only tied to two characters, Zuko during his season 1 lashing out period & Zhao where it was specifically cited as being unique to him and something to exploit.

Worse still, we've seen people happily Firebend, Aang;s issues with Firebending comes from having too much fun, getting careless with it & accidentally burn Katara. & we have seen sad or direction-less Zuko Firebend like a champ before now.

The 'revelation' of "Good Firebending" is the wrong solution to Aang's issue cos it does nothing about fires tendency to burn, & a solution looking for a problem that had to be tailor made for it to fix & did not exist before, Zuko.

The thing is though, while I will happily harp on the last one as part of a greater collection of issues in season 3. The truth is people are not bothered by these things if they watch a show in good faith.

One doesn't even need to like a show to do this, its just part of the deal when watching fictional media that some stuff is not always going to add up perfectly.

What matters is if the writers made it interesting, feel like it fit coherently within the world and kept it consistent enough that it didn't break the story.

Which CRWBY very much do.

They created a wide, vibrant, varied and interesting world, where a multitude of stories could and do take place that can be expanded upon if one wants.

They created and kept consistent its internal logic as best as it can be conveyed to we the audience when the characters also don't know everything.

Above all they used it to tell a interesting and engaging story, where skill & strategy matter so much in combat Where its so easy to believe bandits and criminals can thrive in the wild. Where the introduction of something like the Ever After can actually fit and feel like a revelation rather than break the story!

So yeah, I really enjoy RWBY's world building :)

[thetallowman]

Some analysis and predictions for the trio, now that I'm through the first bit

Lucy: what I would call the group's moral compass. (Not in the sense that the others are lacking morals, but in that she's the only one pointing somewhere.) She wants to do things right, not just morally but practically as well - the kind of person who likes to have a plan, who is invested in the process just as much as the results. She started out focused on the mystery, on solving the case, but the encounter with John shook her, and now she's worried about the local Others as well. Her mother actually seems like a decent parent (in a Wildbow story: shocking), and her friendship with Verona is firmly established. There's definitely s some sort of trauma packed away in there that we haven't seen yet, but I'd say she's the most stable of the three - at least insofar as the whole magical girl detectives thing isn't a direct improvement to her life. Probably the most likely to actually solve the case.

My assumption is that each of the three will pick up either an implement, a familiar, or a demesne first. (Practically, due to diverging interests, and narratively/metaphysically, for reasons of balance and cohesion - the trio of witches, each with a different defining feature, etc.) My prediction is that Lucy will get her implement first - something straightforward, physical, capable of directly influencing the world around her, shift it from what it is towards how it should be. My initial guess was a sword, but the ring somewhat fills that role - so a tool of some kind? Something versatile, like a multitool? (I'm thinking back to the awakening ritual, and the emphasis she placed on adaptability and self-sufficiency. She's suited to something that can cover multiple bases.)

Avery: the odd one out. Less interested in the magic than in the friends that come with it. (A package deal.) She's got issues with self-esteem, with being overlooked; she's happy to follow there others' lead, but she wants to be recognized for her contributions. Wants to not be left behind again. Her parents seem nice - they're failing her in some important ways, but not out of malice. (They've got what I would call too many kids.) There's a line earlier, where Avery's thinking about a sandwich, which feels like it sums up her role amongst her siblings: "She couldn't help but feel like any one ingredient could be changed out for something similar and it would make the sandwich ten times as good."

My guess is that Avery will be first to find a familiar. Might be some level of wishful thinking - could go a long way to resolving the self-esteem problem. (It worked for Blake, at least: isolation and alienation are no match for the power of a cute animal companion.) Could be something from the Forest Trail she was given - remains to be seen.

Verona: very relatable. If a magical creature had approached me, as a callow youth, and offered the chance to trade a life of magical adventures for the "normality" of college, taxes, and a 9-to-5 - I'd be taking that deal, guaranteed, common sense be damned. (Heck, I'd probably do the same tomorrow, given the chance.) She's in it for the escapism, essentially. There's a murder to solve, and her best friend's along for the ride, but magic itself is the main selling point. Under normal circumstances, whatever she does she can't win - the things she cares about aren't "important," she doesn't care about the "important" things, and even when she puts in the effort it isn't seen as good enough. Her dad sucks - I won't belabor the point - but it's true amongst her classmates as well, with sports and the app and so on. She's happier investigating the "eat your own fingers" ritual than doing yardwork, which makes perfect sense.

Verona's going to get a demesne. No idea what that will look like, but of the three, it fits the most. Having a place other than her house - somewhere that she controls, gets to make the rules for - should go a long way. (In some ways, I'm reminded of Blake - though her definition of freedom seems less about what she can do, and more about what she doesn't have to do.)

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Sabretooth War part 10

alrighty kids, we are FINALLY at the end of this mess. we all agree it won't be satisfactory, but let's see just how much of a let down it really is

It was 28* pages. the whole book was 55 pages. an average issue is 22 pages. i get it, it's the 50th milestone, and we're also doing the Wolverine anniversary, but sill... (*there are several splash pages/2-page spreads so my reader read those as singular pages, so it might more more??)

also, this is kinda one of the most lack luster out of the covers for this saga. it's not that engaging, it's kinda stock posed (especially for them) and it's just...not cool? we're at issue #50, we're doing anniversary stuff, this should be more appealing

we pick up where we left off; Logan vs Graydon on the beach while the Pit Gang and X-Force have ringside seats. Graydon saying his only goal in life is to be a wiener; yes, that's fine. Logan admitting he's a terrible parent after it's pointed out; that is good. Logan trying to talk Graydon into being a good guy; no. when Logan has done nothing but tear down Victor into being something pure evil that has no chance of redemption, as an immutable taint on existence itself, why would he assume anything connected to him could be anything good? do i think that; pft no, but i think Graydon's a wiener. but we're not talking about my perception, we're talking about Logan's and everyone in-universe. they all believe that the Creeds are vile and should be erased, that every bad action they have ever committed, no matter the reasoning behind it, is punishable. Graydon should NOT be exempt from that idea (not to mention he IS that terrible, deserves that treatment, and has NEVER tried to be anything other than that)

oh shutup, it would indeed

oh...never mind, the wiener boy is taken out IMMEDIATELY WITH NO FANFARE OR ANYTHING. WHY DID WE DEVOTE PLOT TO HIM IF HE'S USELESS AND WORTHLESS??? you built him up to be a big bad, but nope, he died like a wiener like he always does. i'd be less mad about this if we hadn't devoted such a big deal to his return and betrayal and yaddayadda. because you know what; those pages could've been used to develop the SabreSquad, or to delve into Vic's psyche better, or heck even give the Pit Gang or X-Force more to do (yes i'd've been hap[pier to have given more time to make the OTHER superfluous parts more important). but no, we have Victor's biggest regret in life show up to highlight his own shortfalls and vulnerabilities...to just get unceremoniously stabbed and dead yet again. he made no impact on anything, aside from a board wipe that could've been completed with those idiotic Stark Sentinels.

there is indeed no justice in this world

Logan's line could be impactful of we'd ACTUALLY took the time to point out the times he HAD CARED about people, and contrasted that against how his acre for them were their ultimate doom. we BRIEFLY touched that with Birdy, Holo, Bonnie, and heck even Graydon; he cared for each of them, and as a result they each died...and in the case of Graydon he sacrificed his own humanity to save him from hell only to see wiener boy not make something better of himself; with that second chance but just perpetuate the Creed curse of self hate taken out on the world enmass. seeing THAT should've been heart breaking. instead we get a dick measuring contest

but see that's the thing, this isn't about Victor's tortured psyche and his fall from grace, this is about "those with the powers make the rules" and "might makes right" and "unhinged animal vs the calm of man" or something, because of those lines up there, "You got no powers little man" "I don't need powers to put you down"

their powers are being animals; Victor has always embraced and not denied his nature, while Logan has always had to "fight the animalistic urges" and thus has made himself the pariah that all love. now he doesn't have that crutch; he has no powers, he is just man, while Victor has looked inward and rejected his own humanity to embrace nothing but the animalistic rage and power that brings. it is savagery vs civilized. but it's not done well, not at all...

good ra that was all before the opening text crawl X.x

last cast lineup, and Arkady is still absent despite being on screen, while Aurora and Northstar are still present despite not being in the book since part 2 or 3

no, nothing on the island works, where have you been

who are you to talk Mr OC, we still don't know you, none of us know you and none of you actually know Victor

i can't...i can't keep commentating on every little thing...

oh that's nice, a panel of Laura and Arkady fighting together to distract and calm me down (does he not have a ponytail?? is that one of my hair styles???)

we leave the B Teams to deal with the remainder of the Sentinels, so Victor and lure Logan away from them to go fight alone in the jungle. ok, fine, movement, logical progression for the stupid in progress. ok. we're in the Blob's tiki bar i think? fight scene, mysterious tunnel, mk......to the Council of Dumb's chambers. wtf. actually you know what, no, idc; the island is fallen into ruins, screw logical architecture. fine, Council chamber

he's mind melded with the Pit. i...fine. makes enough sense, eat Logan now please

he's not gonna stay down there though is he?

oh look another panel composed to distract and calm me down strategically placed (who's watching me????)

so yeah, Logan's gets eaten by the Pit and internal monologs about how Vic isn't playing fair by doing this now (baby >< )

the skewed panel borders are a very nice subtle unnerving detail; kuddos layout team

that aside, interesting that that's Zora/Silver Fox II

i am actually into this sequence...to bad it's cut far too short

i'll assume it's because of Tom they got pulled out, but where'd Laura's backup mask come from?

oh no it was the Cuckoo. that's dumb. you're dumb

X-Force all gangs up on Victor while eth Pit Gang sits back and smirks, and Cuckoo is going all holier and mightier than thou until Logan says "leave him to me"...

oh and he has his powers back because the Forge Armor had a Deus ex Machina in it to fix him. so once again, another highly built up plot point of super duper importance is just swept away pointlessly

splash page of pointlessness!

and another

sadly that's how the writers think about YOU Victor

so Logan cuts off Vic's hands, then move sin for the killing blow with the internal monolog being all "this is for my friends and family and all the people you ever hurt blahblahblah"

why is Graydon on the symbolic revenge reflection? he was a BAD GUY WHO WANTED TO MURDER YOU. i just...i can't, this is dumb

and he's dismembered. i'm not going to show that because i have used far too many images already and it's not even that intriguing. Logan is standing over a dismembered pile of Victor with a satisfied smirk while the B Teams stand behind him also smirking, and there's an angelic triumphant glow as if this is all super good and was super hard. all hail our infallible savior Wolverine >>

epilogue time; Cuckoo and sitting on a cliff with Quinthead (don't worry he gets better), the Pit Gang fly off into the sunset (don't worry Pya comes back), Logan stares into said sunset internal monologuing about how Krakoa was the best ever and he's learned to love again or something (i can't be bothered to care at this point) before looking to X-Force and taking up leadership of them for the umpteenth time.

SO as a FINALE to this whole 10 part saga...it's about on par with the rest. overly graphic for the sake of unpleasantness, and sacrificing actual character depth to make Logan look like the best eva and Vic is the ultimate evil that needs to be put down foreva and eva. as a Finale to the Lavalle trilogy...it's terrible. it was completely mishandled, so many threads started and left loosely hanging. what little character depth it had was probably from Lavalle, but he should've touched it more. this was a story that we've done before; we didn't tread on any new ground. the biggest new thing was the over the top gratuitous gore fest and that is not appealing. being unpleasant for the sake of being unpleasant is not appealing.

and honestly, i'm sticking to my conspiracy theory that Arkady was supposed to not appear in this at all. the panels in this issue were less drawn in afterwards to me, BUT his contributions were very nil and his inclusion did not add anything.

uhg i have half this issue left for just bonus Logan celebration stuff...do i care enough to do it? ok, sure, summaries though

Mutants on the edge of town: well it looks 97ish. some soda shop jerk kid has a Sentinel in hid barn...i find it very sus that doesn't know/recognize it as a Sentinel, but whatever. Logan and Jubes check it out and it wakes up so fight. interesting that it could detect heterochromia and defines THAT as a mutation worth capturing, thought it went after X-genes. but it blows up, the end. it's a fine enough bonus story i guess.

Endless: ah Percy, still at it with the overlt dramatic internal monolpg that sounds super deep and important but is just not. however i give you, he's Logan your life is one giant circle because we must repeat reapeat repeat.

oh...ok i know i said no pics for these, but this...this i liek and approve. you actually acknowledge that Arkady has become a good boy and that Beast is terrible. i...ok i give you a point for this sequence, thank you.

other than that, it's kind of an even more abridged Life of, but also the goodbye letter i guess since this is Percy's last run with Logan (except it's not)

then there's his actual good bye letter. and then solicits for other wolverine to read until the new titles launches in Sept with some previews that look very similar to Origin...repeatrepeatrepeat

so once again, the easiest summery: Victor is dead-dead yet again (he was decapitated, so there's a chance it'll stick (but Savage wasn't decapitated...) ), Arkady isn't dead and still with X-Force, Daken is dead-dead, Laura 2 is not dead, Graydon is dead yet again, and Logan sucks. the end

now to wait for August with the anniversary special *dead*

[kalinara]

I was skimming through my dashboard and I saw a post that I thought was really interesting.

In the post, the person stated that they missed when fandom was more interactive, when it came to fanfic writers and fan artists, rather than today, where it was like the content creators were machines that didn't need positive feedback, but were just there to create product.

I'm paraphrasing, because I can't find it again. It stuck with me for a bit though.

See, I think this is the natural effect of discouraging constructive criticism.

I can appreciate that very few people enjoy logging into their email or messages and seeing a comment regarding a project that they've spent so much time and effort on and seeing "Well, this is what I think you did wrong."

I can appreciate that for most folk, fanfic is a labor of love, something that they're sharing with the community. They're not craftsmen honing a craft, per se. They're not looking for advice on how to improve.

That's understandable. But I think it misses something really important: that constructive criticism, heck, even a polite yet negative review is still ENGAGEMENT.

It's a conversation in a way that kudos aren't. It's a conversation in a way that gushing praise really isn't.

I'm not saying a writer has to agree with the criticism. People are people and sometimes people are full of crap. But the fact that someone took the time out of their busy day to actually engage with a writer about something they created, and to talk about it, and think about it, and examine what worked for them and what didn't...

That does mean something, in my opinion. I've been a fanfic reader, primarily a lurker, since I first took baby steps onto the web in 1996. Back before AO3. Back before fanfiction.net. I remember webrings, and mailing lists, and geocities. I even, vaguely, remember bulletin boards.

As I said, I was a lurker primarily. I didn't talk much. I followed the discussions. Sometimes I'd agree with it. Sometimes I'd disagree (quite strongly). I very rarely commented or reviewed.

But when I did review, that was because I really wanted to. And when I did review, I put a LOT of effort into it. I'd talk about what I thought the author did really really well (which was a lot! Or I wouldn't have bothered.) I'd mention what didn't work so much for me, and what I thought might have worked better. It'd take hours, sometimes, to figure out exactly what I wanted to say - what I would want to HEAR if I'd written the story. I always tried to leave the kind of reviews that I wanted to receive on my own work.

I'd never write a review like that now. The etiquette's changed. I recognize that the kind of review I wrote back in 1998 would be incredibly rude now. But when I look at the comments I've left nowadays - they're quick. They're meaningless. Even on fics I've truly loved. Sometimes I don't even comment. Just a kudo. Sometimes I forget to do that. It's not personal, but I've got things on my mind.

It occurs to me that even the word is different. "comment" vs. "review". There are very different expectations.

I see people sometimes talking about how what they really want is comments, though. And interaction. And I get that, but when you limit the type of interaction that you're looking for, then I think that you're going to get less of it.

I'm sorry. But sometimes I'll read a fic that's okay, but not great. It's got wonderful ideas, but they could be developed better. It's got good character voice, but some of the word choice is a little off. It doesn't sing.

At least, to me. Maybe it's just a matter of personal taste. Maybe it's a craft issue. The author didn't ask for my opinion, and that's fair enough. But am I going to leave lukewarm praise and nothing else? Maybe. I have before. But more likely, I'm just going to hit the back button and look for something else.

It's easier to give feedback now than it was in 1997 in a lot of ways. Kudos buttons are lovely. Instant review buttons/forms that don't require a perpetually shy anxious person to send an email to a stranger are wonderful things. I probably do leave more comments now than I did back in 1997.

But when it comes to actual substance and engagement...I'm not sure there's even a comparison. Why bother? If I feel really strongly about something in the fic, well, I can write a blog post about it instead.

It is kind of funny that this means that I get the engagement out of it, rather than the author, but that's how it goes sometimes.

[kingwithpaintedfingers]

An Update on the Status of My A03 Fics!

Hihi! I have no idea if anyone who follows this blog reads any of my fics on AO3, but if you do, then you might like to know what the heck is going on with my fics, and why I haven't posted any updates in over six months.

First of all, I am alive! I wrote a lot of fics in the summer of 2022 when I had just gotten active in a fan server on Discord where there was a lot of encouragement to write fanfiction. In the spring of 2023, I started a medical assistantship course, and in order to keep myself focused in class, I turned off notifications for the server. And then I just kind of...didn't turn them back on???? In my defense, I was intimidated by the amount of time it would take for me to backread everything I missed, and that eventually snowballed into me just no longer looking at that server. I should honestly become active in it again, because it did a lot for my writing productivity. I also have a lot of hobbies both in real life and on my computer, and those take up a lot of my time as well. So that's why I didn't post much last year and haven't posted anything yet this year.

But I want to let you all know, that I do fully intend to complete the fanfics I have already started on AO3, and I do intend to write the sequels I promised a year and a half ago.

So without further ado, here is a status report on the incomplete fics and series I have on my AO3:

How to Live With Fire: One of my most popular fics! I have two sequels planned, and a rough idea of what I want to happen in each of them. Both of them are probably going to be only a few chapters long. The delay on this one is mostly on Part 2, since Part 2 has only the vaguest ideas of what I want to do with it (how Mortarion and Vulkan become a longterm couple, and how their legions react to this change). The trouble with this one is, I haven't read any Salamanders novels, let alone ones that take place during the Horus Heresy. I think I will at least have to read Deathfire for this one. I am praying that I don't have to read Vulkan Lives, since I understand that one has less tasty Salamanders content than I would like, and way more John Grammaticus than I find tasteful. But I will still try Deathfire at the very least, if I can find a physical copy at the library or a used bookstore or something.

A Matter of Trust: Another one that's going to end up being a trilogy. I have figured out what happens, now I just need to read the Plague Wars trilogy, because those events are going to be kind of important to the rest of the plot. Again, I'd like to read physical copies of the books so that I can flip through them easily. I'm going to see if I can find copies of the first two novels through the local libraries. Fingers crossed!

Until the Bitter End: Ohhhh, this one's gonna make me cry...this one is mostly hinging on me rereading The Buried Dagger and taking notes. Much lower barrier for entry for this one, since I've read it so often that I mostly remember where to find the events I'm looking for.

Lantern and the Child: This one is going to have like, a billion chapters. It's going to become episodic for a while, but I'm looking forward to it. In this case, it's a case of figuring out which characters I want to introduce. The idea of it being episodic is kind of exciting for me, because it feels like it will be a fun thing to do, and because it goes along with a writing conceit that my co-creator and I have for this AU, that it's the events of a theoretical (very dark) Pokemon anime.

This Once Nearly Was Mine: This one should literally be the easiest one to complete, I am ashamed that I haven't finished it. There's only one chapter left, and I don't even have to come up with all of the events. Again, this one is going to dip into Horus Heresy events that I haven't actually read, but I think I've heard enough from osmosis that I can skip most of it. I just need to, y'know, actually sit down and fucking write it.

Deep's Embrace: I've got an outline! And I've even got some scenes written out! As I type this post, I am preparing to submit chapter 2. I'm having a lot of fun with this fic, as you could probably all tell.

Anyway, that's basically it for now. If you have any questions, please let me know! And if you have any friends who you know enjoy my fics but aren't following me or aren't on Tumblr, please link them to this post so that they know just what the hell is going on with me.

[asterkiss]

Prompt: “i thought you went to bed an hour ago”

Maybe some fluff? 🙇‍♀️

This took on a life of its own and I'm gonna have to do a second addition to actually get to the fluff. (>___>) Random AU in the future where Bill has somehow become Mabel's dysfunctional demon room mate who she keeps in check. Why? How? No idea!

-SWEET DREAMS

Mabel was sat in the kitchen, hunched over the table with tongue poking out in avid concentration. She just had to add two hundred more rhinestones to this shirt and it would be finished!

Easy.

She was so raptured in her crafts, she didn't even notice the figure entering through the door until they spoke.

'What the heck is that?'

The brunette paused, raising her head to find Bill staring down at the shirt with a look of distaste. Undeterred by his response, she replied:

'My shirt for Dipper's party tomorrow! Wanna help?'

'Pass.'

Yeah, she doubted he would. 'Okay, well if you're not gonna help then why are you even here? I thought you went to bed an hour ago.' She hadn't seen him around the flat since he left to go watch some weird television show.

Bill snorted as he slid into the seat opposite her. 'I don't sleep, I'm a dream demon. I invade the minds of others whilst they're asleep, that's it.'

Mabel paused. 'You don't sleep? Ever?'

'Don't need to, demon privelege.'

Mabel had forgotten about her bedazzling and was now offering the blond her full attention. 'But sleeping's so fun, and dreaming's like the best part of it! Just last night I had a dream where Zac Efron was my chauffeur to school. That was so fun. Oh Zac, you scallywag.'

'Sleeping's stupid! You basically waste eight hours of your day laying unconscious and being completely vulnerable and easy pickings.' A shrug. 'Guess I shouldn't complain, makes it easy for me to manipulate you guys.'

Mabel's eyes narrowed. 'Hey.'

'I mean, it made it easy. Obviously past tense. Don't do that anymore. Scouts honour.'

She rolled her eyes at his less than believable response and the cheesy grin plastered on his face.

'But I stand by what I said, sleeping's dumb and boring.'

Mabel pursed her lips together. 'You wouldn't say that if you had someone to sleep with.'

Bill shot her a look and she quickly added:

'Not like that! I mean literally just sleeping next to someone in the same bed, you weirdo! Even just a pet!'

Bill blinked. 'What difference does that make?'

'Well, you get cuddles and can stay warm on cold nights. Plus, it feels nice and comforting and if you have a nightmare, you can just roll over and hug Waddles- or, uh, the other person.'

'Hm. Don't see the appeal.'

'Urgh, forget it.' It was like talking to a brick wall. He'd totally ruined her motivation for bedazzling as well.

She called it a night and went to sleep in her double bed surrounded by twenty stuffed animals.

>

It was three hours later in the middle of the night that she awoke to a hand on her shoulder.

She groggily opened her eyes to the sight of a pale face inches from her own. On instict she slammed her fist forward only to have it halted with impressive speed. There were very few who could stop an attack from her. Such as:

'Wait, Bill?'

'Sup.'

Her eyebrows furrowed and she sought out the clock in her room. 'Urgh, it's like 3am. Why are you in my room?'

'Let's sleep together.'

'...eh?'

He smirked. 'Not like that you sick pervert.'

'I'm not-!'

'I figured I'd give what you said a try, and since you're the only one around what d'ya say?'

'Uh...' An attractive guy was asking to share her bed. Granted, it was Bill Cipher though that only made the request even more bizarre.

He quirked an eyebrow. 'Cm'on, I don't bite.' A pause. 'Much.'

'Okay, fine!' She just wanted to go back to sleep. Although that prospect was seeming less and less likely the more her heart rate picked up.

She felt the covers shift as he shoved off her stuffed unicorns and slid in. 'Jesus Christ, how many stuffed animals do you have?'

'Never enough and- hey, don't touch me with your weird cold feet!'

'Aw cm'on share the warmth, Shooting Star. I'm freezing.'

'I thought you said you did't feel the cold!'

'I feel it, it just doesn't bother me.'

'Then keep the ice blocks at the end of your legs away from me, you dorito!' She already regretted this as she turned her back towards him and curled in on herself. 'Either that or get out and go back to your own room.'

'Okay, okay, I'll behave.' She felt him settle behind her, though she was still on high alert. But as the minutes ticked by and he remained quiet, she began to ease up, gradually unfurling her body.

But it was still impossible to sleep!

'Why did you change your mind?' she asked, cutting through the piercing silence.

'I change my mind a lot, I'm funny like that.'

She glanced back over shoulder, narrowing her eyes. 'If you try to pull something, I'll punch you in the eye.'

'Jeez louise, relax.'

'Then be honest and stop lying! Why did you really come in here?'

She could feel him scowling at her through the darkness. 'Tried the whole sleeping thing, and it was awful. Lotsa screaming and nuisances I'd rather forget about. Was a big pain in the ass.'

She blinked. So, he'd had a nightmare?

'So that's why I came here,' he said cheerfully. 'You said sleeping together helps you forget that weird stuff so here I am. And guess what, you were right. You make quite the good distraction when you keep wriggling around like a worm cut in two.'

'Wha- gross!' Did she wiggle that much? 'And you should try sleeping again, maybe you'll have a nice dream.'

'Shooting Star, it's cute and naive you think like that but I'm literally made of nightmares. I don't have any good dreams in me.'

'That's sad.'

'It's true!' A pause. 'I mean I guess there's-' He cut off abruptly and she arched an eyebrow at his sudden silence. She could make out his profile in the darkness but that was it. She rolled over so she was completely facing him.

'There's what?' she asked, prodding him to speak.

'....Nothin', forget it. Demons and good dreams don't mix. It would never work out.'

She frowned. 'You just need to learn how to have nice dreams, it's like learning anything new. If you want, you can watch me for practice. I can be like your fun teacher.'

'What?'

She poked him. 'I'm cordially inviting you to pop into my dreams tonight. I'll show you how exciting it can be.'

'What happened to you punching my lights out if I invaded your dreams?' He still had a bruise from last time.

'Tonight's a one-off. And you better behave! No turning ribbons into human inestines, that still makes me wanna hurl.'

'Oh yeah I forgot about that, heh.'

'So?'

He turned over so they were facing one another in the bed, and she became acutely aware of how close in proximity they were. It was fine. It was just platonic. Totally platonic. So what if she could feel his breath hitting her skin?

'Alright, deal,' he said, voice quiet and the way he said it made her heart tug slightly. Haha, weird. A warm hand covered her eyes and she swallowed thickly.

'Sweet dreams, Shooting Star.'

She fell asleep, and the real fun began.

TO BE CONTINUED

[longeyelashedtragedy]

get to know me tag from @heffer-wen this is a good one!

tagging: @perfectpiety @echthr0s @colorsofmyseason @kvaradonaa @protect-daniel-james @thundercrack @arsenalgbt @steeple-sinderby-wanderers @lamperry4ever (this is all optional of course!!!)

1. Do you make your bed?

I only properly make my bed when I change my sheets, but I can't stand to have the bed looking janky when i come home, so I wrestle with my thicc blanket until it's decently even and neat on the bed, and if the pillows have gone wild I'll straighten them out a little. if any of my over 9000 stuffed animals are on the floor I'll pick them up of course.

2. Favourite number?

24! my birthday, and a nice solid good number, can fit lots of other numbers into it. 17 has been an Important number for my bff and me, and I have a religion based fondness for 18...but 24 it is.

3. What's your job?

my job is very cool and specific and I love it, but it's not one I would ever want to mix with my online persona for various reasons. in fact I've always worked in an "industry" that I think should never mix with my nsfw ways on here. always happy to talk about it in private!

4. If you could go back to school would you?

oh hale to the FUCK no. I hate school. I haven't liked school since I graduated high school. my brain can't be made to think like that and do so much work to other people's specifications--and then there's sitting in class and having to listen to other people talk, I couldn't give less of a shit if I tried! I'm a voracious self directed learner--I want to learn something new like, every second--but this doesn't translate well into a school setting.

unfortunately--a job I think would be really cool to have, I'd have to get a master's and certification, and while I think I'd be great at the job, I'd be right shit at the kind of work the degree requires you to do to pass. (I could easily do the job with good mentoring and maybe like...one course, but that's how so many things are.) Maybe if I marry rich I'd go back! Frank lampard step the fuck up!

5. Can you parallel park?

I could do it just to pass my driver's test and have done it like. twice since. I'm terrible 😭 I have visual-spatial-perceptual whatever deficits and just can't do it. I also have a spot missing from my peripheral vision on my left side so parking on that side is even more confusing. my sister however is great at those things and yet she also can barely parallel park, you should see the two of us try to do it together, it's a full on yakety sax comedy. the WORST is here in the city, people stop on the street and give you unsolicited advice while you park and this gives me so much anxiety that I can't even remember what to do.

6. Do you think aliens are real?

not really? I suppose there's sentient life somewhere but is it likely to be humanoid? I'm terrified of space (I'm one of those would rather go to the bottom of the ocean than outer space freaks) so I try not to think about it

7. Can you drive a manual car?

what to heck,,,,,,,,,,,,of course I can't 🇺🇸 shamed by having to pay more to rent an automatic when I've driven in Europe

8. Guilty pleasure?

disregarding my dietary restrictions? I also have the bad habit of reading what scents my hot favs wear and then buying cheap samples. today one arrived that I forgot I'd ordered so now my wrists smell like chanel allure. I'm indifferent? it smells like Ladies' Perfume

what else...idk, I'm not too guilty about my pleasures really

9. Tattoos?

none--I have a couple of ideas, but have never been tempted to actually do it?

10. Favourite colour?

black and pink!

11. Favourite type of music?

I like things that are loud and repetitive and insistent. sometimes screechy. I like listening to other languages. my favorite instrument is the bagpipes (how do I say that in a grammatically correct way ffs) if that helps! will always go for: good rap/hip hop, 80s thrash metal, eastern european/balkan folk music, techno (the darker and more berghainy the better), other weird electronica, the beatles, most things that came out of the 80s

12. Do you like puzzles?

the kind with pieces? those are fun, I just don't have any room to spread one out. other kinds, like logic and shit, absolutely not, my brain doesn't work like that at all

13. Any phobias?

insects, and the main one: food contamination, but not the kind you're thinking--I definitely am more anxious than the average person about the food I eat being contaminated, but what the phobia actually is is more like...places where food shouldn't be being contaminated by bits of food...It's very specific and I've always had it but it's getting worse as I get older. like, imagine if you go into a restaurant and there's a couple of crumbs on the chair, or like, a bit of dirt on the underside of the waiter's tray. you'll just brush them off, right? or like, just not care about the bottom of a tray? I feel sick to my stomach and my heart is racing a bit just imagining this. what a privilege!

I'm also fucking terrified of being alone in elevators, but I'm not sure if that counts as a phobia? (I'm afraid of getting stuck in one by myself--as long as there's another person in there I don't care lol)

14. Favourite childhood sport?

swimming was my only one--I begged for lessons, started young, and was pretty good, did a swim team and everything. otherwise I am horrible at sports--I can't run (never could), and have no hand-eye coordination (did some occupational therapy at age 18 but it was Too Late), and again, those visual perceptual spatial issues! I wasn't terrible at floor hockey and volleyball in gym class I guess. footy was my worst 😭 in 8 years of gym I scored one goal--an own goal

15. Do you talk to yourself?

Not really.

16. What movies do you adore?

hmmm...I am not a huge movies person, but here's a list:

mulholland drive

mary poppins

the producers (mostel/wilder, 1967)

willy wonka & the chocolate factory (gene wilder version ONLY)

little miss sunshine

moulin rouge

cabaret

my cousin vinny

run lola run

y tu mamá también

the sound of music

chicago

kill bill vol. 1

cidade de deus

diarios de motocicleta

buena vista social club (not without its problematic side, but the musicians/music is so joyous)

the wedding singer

anklaget/the accused (weird danish movie that I don't think anyone i know has heard of?)

le dîner de cons

kamchatka

imagine me and you

ghostbusters 2016 (i will DIE on this hill)

brokeback mountain

team america: world police

rear window

amadeus

the crow

the incredibles

spaceballs

a shot in the dark

airplane!

romeo + juliet

school of rock

american psycho

uncut gems

rebecca

dial m for murder

17. Tea or coffee?

coffee! please. tea makes me feel a bit sick

18. First thing you wanted to be growing up?

I wanted to be an opera singer and a "lady mover" (we moved twice in the span of like, 2 and a half years when I was little)

[itzpris15634]

Ok so about this whole doki doki literature club thingy. As I said it's very messy cause like with most of my stuff there are so many alternative versions because I don't know what I want but

The way I see it the boys are in places of the ddlc girls aside from Monika cause well, there's three of them, not four unless we brought someone else in. In short: Russell = Sayori, Sunil = Natsuki, Vinnie = Yuri. Questionable choices right there, I know, but tbh I'm not going with those choices because I tried to give them whichever of those girls fit them most, I mostly went with how they died. As I always say it's called an alternative universe for a reason.

It's not really important but I thought I'd add it here cause why not, cause Vinnie in a literature club? Well, the way I see it maybe Russell started it or joined one (which was started by whomever Monika is) and Sunil kinda followed behind because the club was small and cozy and he too is into certain literature so why not? And Vinnie? He joined just to spend more time with Sunil and Russell, if they're there then he's there too. Maybe even sooner or later he would get into some literautre not to get kicked out xD perhaps just comic books or maybe even manga? You know, like Natsuki read. Or heck, adding to Vinnie Yuri maybe he would get into horror stories? He already likes horror movies right? So it's not that hard to imagine that he could get convinced to read some horror.

Anyway, although I think of it as mostly from the perspective of how the game plays out, I can't think but wonder who mc could be. Cause I just don't know. Whoever mc and Monika would be the important thing here are the deaths which is where their roles really come in.

So Russell is mc's childhood friend who has lately started being a little less like himself - going late and avoiding his responsibilities etc because of his developing in this world depression. So anyway, he like all the boys develops a crush on mc, all the stuff that happened in the game happen, Monika's counterpart convinces him to kill himself and he ends up hung whether mc accepted his confession or not.

Sunil was the most reluctant at first to have mc in the club because he felt good with just 4 of them so at first he appeared rather reluctant and shy which to mc appeared a little rude by accident but then he warmed up to the new member. He also is the one to notice Vinnie's weird obsession with mc (in a sec about him) cause he didn't use to be like that. He too is the one who noticed Monika's (since I don't know who Monika could be I'll just keep saying Monika) very weird behavior and tried to warn mc. Well, he ended up opening up in creepy ways about his problems and then with snapped neck

And then there's Vinnie who was friendly the entire time with mc, but later like Yuri started getting way too friendly and obsessed with mc seemingly out of nowhere and tried to have them all to himself and that also made him rather agressive. There's also this whole obsession with knives and self-harm, the main point is his obsessiveness and of course death by fucking stabbing himself right on mc's eyes and then his body is left to rot for an entire weekend as Monika is messing with everything.

That's the way I see it if the game was with Russell, Sunil, and Vinnie but this can go many ways really. Like for example I also like having Vinnie as Monika cause that's even more obsessive behavior and as you know I like him like that. Or or having Sunil as mc so Vinnie and Russell fall hard for him and yipee messed up boys poly except ot really, but who would be Natuski then? Idk idk. Basically, I want those three to get their personalities manipulated to get obsessed with mc and then die.

yeeeeah

Doki Doki!! 💖💜💚💙

Hmmm alright roles and casting- okay basing the roles on how they died is an interesting choice! I do like it.

I… don’t have much ideas for Monika and the MC either. Should we pick another boy character? Or go with one of the girls? Hmmm I’ll just refer to them as Monika and MC as well for now lol.

Funnily enough, I actually imagine Russell being the one to start the literature club. He just seems like the kind to take the initiative like that. Which would fit him into Monika’s role more, but TBH it also works fine that he just decides to join a club that another student has started previously.

But I like there are ‘signs’ of Russell’s depression and such. Maybe the MC goes thinking “Huh… he was so responsible and organized back then. Is he okay?” But then they simply dismiss it as him changing through the years. They are childhood friends after all, and people usually aren’t the same for all of their life stages. But dear oh dear is MC in for a shock ahahahaha….

Sunil being Natsuki in the sense that he’s hesitant about a new club member sorta makes sense. I imagine he’s doesn’t meet lots of new people all the time, he just hangs with the people he already knows. And the club was indeed small and cozy, kind of just their friend group but with a Club title to it. So he wouldn’t be too sure about this whole new member thing. Then again, it is a club, and people can join clubs anytime they want, so he has to get used to them.

And also the part where he starts noticing Vinnie’s (Yuri’s) obsession for the MC? I can see that. I do imagine him being very observant in general, so it works.

And the Vin, the Vin, the Vin! God, reading this really makes me remember just how fucked up DDLC really is. But I still do love it regardless. Obsessive Vinnie <33 Which actually, again, makes him another suitable candidate for Monika. You’d love to spend eternity with him in the clubroom, huh? No other distractions 😌😌😌

But anyway yeah! I do like your DDLC AU with the bois. They get their personalities manipulated and then die. Lovely! There are lots of ways we could go about with this.

As for my own ideas, I guess I did have thoughts about my own DDLC AU with the girls, this time. And there is 4 of them here to fit the number. I don’t have 100% any ideas for the roles. Except for Zoe being Monika, for the sole reason that I’d want to spend eternity with her <333

Anywayyyy yeah! Thanks for sending this.

[clumsiestgiantess]

Chapter four of the Other-world Universe; Alexis tries (and fails) at being helpful.

all chapters linked here

[The power of a pile of free cash] The cycle of realities repeated itself yet again, and soon I was bored enough with my own reality to swap worlds.  I was curious to see how the young woman was coming along with the money I'd given her.  Before I got home however, one of my friends stopped me in the hall.  “Are you ok?” they asked me.  Apparently, I seemed rather distracted lately.  “There’s just a lot of things going on at home,” I replied.  It was technically true.  “Don’t worry about it.”  Giving me another concerned look, they told me they would be there if I needed to talk, and I nodded, trying my hardest to focus on them when my mind had already begun to wander through thoughts of the other-world.  Eventually, they sighed and moved on to a different topic as we walked down the hall together.  They'd clearly given up on getting any more information out of me, having already tried a few less conspicuous ways to get something of an answer from me, but obviously I couldn’t tell them the truth.  

When I got home, I immediately dropped my backpack by the basement couch and prepared for another trip to the other-world.  I can always do homework when I get back.  I have all the time I need to do it since this little pit stop will only take a few seconds in my world.  Traversing the lay of the land so many times, I’d pretty much mapped out the easiest and least destructive way to the city.  There was only one slightly sketchy detour I took through a skate park to get to the field behind the young woman's building.  

However, when I returned to her apartment, everything was a mess.  The money had downright vanished; nothing had changed.  Her apartment had apparently been paid off, but the rest of the money was gone.  Or so I thought.  When the young woman returned, she arrived with a fancy new car and outrageously expensive-looking outfit.  I’d just brought her car back to her and now she’d gotten rid of it.  This was definitely NOT what I gave her the money for.  The heck is wrong with you? I mentally asked as she disappeared into her apartment.  You’re supposed to use my money wisely, not blow it all on things you didn’t need!  

Things only got worse from there.  Through various ways of sneaking around, I started following her to find out what she’d done with the rest of my money.  I gave her so much, how could she have possibly spent it all already?  Never underestimate the power of a pile of free cash.  The young woman had visited both the mall and the downtown shopping area by the end of the day.  I was also fairly sure she quit her job, relying entirely on the money I’d so foolishly given her.  I hadn’t seen her go to work at all since I started watching her.  

Every day I watched her, every day she drove herself further into the ground.  I'd even witnessed her steal her ex’s car and have it crushed at a junkyard.  The incident was so baffling that I almost controlled her simply to stop her from doing it.  I suppose I could’ve deemed it an emergency so I could control her without breaking my own rules, but it didn’t matter.  Eventually the money ran out, and she ended up in more debt than she started with.

I wanted to scream, and I did, but in my own world where no one could hear me.  Alright, I calmed myself, this time I’m going to have to change things.  There was still a decent amount of money left in the bank from the space set, and I’d brainstormed a few ideas on how to keep her from wasting it.  Determined to set things straight, I grabbed more tiny bills from the set.  I made sure to only take a reasonable amount of cash, not whatever I could grab like last time.  

The space set was boxed up on the shelf for now, but if Liam ever took it down to play with again, he’d probably wonder where all the money went.  Maybe he’ll just think he lost the pieces.  There were a few other set parts missing, which was why it was left on the shelf to begin with.

My new and improved plan was this: Instead of leaving the young woman on her own with the pile of cash, I’d put the money out and wait right there until she came and found it.  The other steps are a work in progress, but I’ll probably just make them up as I go.  Basically, I’d be monitoring her a lot more closely than just handing thousands of dollars to her and walking away.  I returned to the other-world, money in hand, and made my way back to the apartment, carefully placing the bills into a heap on the floor just like last time.  Then, I waited for the young woman to come home.  

When she finally came back from who knows where, I slid over to the balcony doors to watch.  She’d barely stepped into the apartment before realizing something was off.  Turning the tight corner by the doorway, she walked into the living room and stopped short, staring at the new bills that seemingly appeared from nowhere.  The young woman stepped cautiously over to the pile in a daze.  Slowly, she turned to the balcony.  Oh no, I left the door open!  I quickly backed away from the doorway as she stepped out onto the small metal outreach.  Looking around baffled for a moment, she spoke to the empty alleyway below her.  “I don’t know who keeps doing this or why, but..” she glanced backwards into her apartment, “This better not be a test.. or a bribe.. but thanks.”  Finally, she turned and closed the balcony door behind her, giving me a chance to let out the breath of air I'd been holding.  Soon, she began collecting the money stacked up on the floor.  Don’t thank me yet, I thought smugly.

The young woman stayed in that night, and I waited outside for the morning to come so I could set my plan into motion.  A few ideas had popped up while I sat around waiting for her, and I was eager to try them.  I yawned, suddenly very tired.  I’ve been awake in both worlds for a long time now.  It won't hurt if I rest a while, right?  Just because I’m on a stakeout doesn't mean I can't close my eyes for a bit.  I sidled backwards to the far end of the small field, giving myself another whole foot of room.  Despite the tight space, I was asleep in no time.

I couldn’t really tell how long I’d been out, but I was suddenly woken by something slamming into my side.  A truck had crashed into my leg; its whole front bumper was completely caved in.  My leg must’ve fallen across the road in my sleep.  A man stumbled out of the driver’s seat, and I sleepily backed off, retreating further into the old baseball field.  I waited as a tow truck came and wheeled away the crushed vehicle, while whoever was driving the damaged truck kept complaining that there was nothing he could've possibly hit; the road was completely empty.  Well, at least he knows not to drive back here anymore, I thought sleepily.  I'll be sitting here more often now; maybe it's for the best he learns not to be here.  

The sky was just beginning to fade into the dazzling oranges of early morning, and with so many cars and buildings reflecting its light, it was almost impossible for me to go back to sleep.  So much for getting a good night's rest.  I sat in the field, bored, waiting for something to happen so I could put my plan into action.  Finally, the apartment lights flickered on, and I sidled over to the window excitedly.  Nothing had actually happened yet, she only got up to make a cup of coffee, and afterwards the young woman picked up a few outfits and laid them out, trying to decide between them.  I huffed disappointedly, finding this part of the morning a bit boring, but when she pulled her pajama top over her head, I recoiled away so harshly I nearly fell over backwards.  Though these people and their city were surely fake, they certainly looked real.  I stepped over the building to watch by the street instead.  

As I sat off to the side of the road, I realized I didn't even know the young woman's name.  Controlling a passerby to get close to the building, I managed to read the nameplate next to her room number, which I’d caught in the reflection of a hall mirror.  The name read ‘Erica Anderson’.  Satisfied, I returned to my spot and released the stranger.  Erica drove off a bit later, and I followed her car from a distance, simply because I couldn't get much closer to the city.  Eventually, she parked in a garage connected to one of the fanciest shopping malls I'd seen in the other-world.  Then again, I hadn’t really seen much beyond the city and the mountain range.  What is out there in the rest of this strange world?  I assumed it ended at the end of the table holding it all up in my world, but the highways branching out of the city had to go somewhere.  I'd have to find that out later.  Right then, I had to stop this poor woman from wasting any more of my money.

No way are you spending all of it on clothes and mall stuff, I thought resentfully.  Carefully placing a hand over her, I had her drive to a large city-owned building instead.  A sign outside the door read: Addicted Spenders Therapy Sessions room 105.  It was really a genius plan.  I'd been watching the billboard ads while I was bored, and an advertisement for this lecture popped up, ironically right after an ad for a new line of expensive luxury items like handbags and the like.  I had a feeling the ad placement was somewhat intentional, though.  

I made Erica go to the room and sit in for a class, letting her go right before she entered the building.  Quickly remembering I would no longer be intangible without a person to control, I latched on to someone in an office building nearby.  It was much taller than me, which was a bit unsettling.  Most of the buildings around me were taller than me, and most of the ground beneath me was filled with moving people and cars.  It was all a bit overwhelming and strangely claustrophobic.  I sat literally in the building, having no room elsewhere, letting whoever I had in my control just continue with their work.  Sitting through the steel frame of the building was probably one of the strangest feelings I’d ever had.  The entire building almost seemed like a hologram — a projection of light that wasn’t actually tangible, though really it was me that was the intangible one.

About an hour later, Erica came rushing out of the meeting, looking confusedly up and down the street as if she were unsure how or why she was there.  Apparently my control only lasts so long without me there to keep it running.  By the looks of Erica's confusion, it seemed as though she didn’t even know where she was.  I latched back onto her, releasing the office worker, and internally reminded her that she wanted to go to each session of these classes.  Her confusion slowly seemed to disappear with my assurance.  

There, I thought, that wasn't so hard, was it?  Once everything was set up, I left her to her own devices for a while.  I hadn’t given her nearly as much money as the first time, so later in the week I set her up with a decent job as well.  Since I had no clue what she did prior to when I'd first given her the money, I decided to put her into a simple customer services-type job.  Surely she could manage it.  All she had to do was talk on a phone, how hard could that be?  Alright, this is going well, I don’t think she’ll do anything stupid again, right?

Wrong.  Very wrong.  I left for a few months to deal with things in my own world, however; so I didn’t even know it for a while.  My team won the state volleyball tournament, that was fun.  I failed a math test, that was less fun.  During winter break, my family drove out to an island in our camper van.  For a few blissful days, my life seemed perfect — collecting shells on the beach and riding rollercoasters on the pier by day, lighting bonfires and stargazing by night.  I felt like I was set for life.  Our family loves the beach; I’m surprised we don’t live closer to one.  I made a mental note to find a nice oceanfront whenever I returned to the other-world.  

All good things come to an end though, I suppose.  After a week on the island, it was time to make the return trip home.  It was always a melancholy experience, leaving the beach behind.  The time we spent there was always fun, but the island was so small, there were only so many things to do before you’d done them all.  Back at home, there was now only one little weekend left before break was over.  However, I’d saved the last two days for finishing school assignments, so my break was basically over right then and there.  If only there was a way to stop tomorrow from coming, I thought wryly.  It really was rather nice to have another world all to myself.  

My good mood was instantly shattered when I returned, though.  I found Erica in jail for drunken driving.  She managed to pay off her bail, but the fees left most of her bills unpaid, again.  What do I have to do to get you to be responsible for once?  It’s only been what, a month, I think, since I left?  Erica had also been sentenced to community service, which I overheard her complain about when she arrived home.  

Sitting in the field out behind her building, I thought, again, about how to deal with this.  I was far too invested to give up now.  Maybe if I move her further from the city, she won’t keep getting into these situations in the first place.  I knew Erica wouldn’t like it if I made her randomly move, but it was for her own good, and the job I’d given her would likely allow it.  Even if her boss wouldn’t let her, I could always control them and suggest that they change their mind.  

I decided to search for a house when it got dark, that way less people would be out, and less people would be in my way.  Once the sun set, I began my trip out to the suburbs beyond the city, closer to where I first zapped into the world.  None of the homes really stood out to me, though.  Try as I might, I couldn’t find a good enough house in suburbia; all of them looked almost the same.  

While I was searching through the many cookie cutter homes, I noticed a modern mansion sitting seemingly untouched on top of a cliff overlooking the city.  Whoever owned the mansion was currently selling it for a ridiculous amount of money, but it wasn't that hard to scrounge up enough to easily outbid any other offers with the help of a rich-looking puppet.  It was perfect.  Erica wouldn’t be too compelled to move back to the city if she was living there, and the cliffside allowed me easier access to the house.  The next day, while Erica was out doing her forced community service, I quite literally took things into my own hands.

I got a few movers and a truck to come over and get her things, and watched as they drove everything over to the new place.  It took a while for them to get all the way out to the cliffside, and even longer for them to move everything inside the mansion.  I couldn't even leave and come back because I had to keep all of the movers at least somewhat under my control.  Eventually, the job was done and I released them back to their normal lives.  Realizing how late it was, I rushed back into the city as fast as I could.  I didn’t dare run, knowing I would cause both tremors and destruction if I did.  

Watching the movers had caused me to lose track of time.  When I finally made it back, I saw with a pang of guilt that Erica's car was already out front.  I raced to the back deck and watched as she looked around her empty apartment, devastated.  I opened the balcony to reach in and control her, but before I could do anything, Erica marched out onto her deck and I quickly backed away.   "What the hell?!  I thought you were supposed to be giving me money and helping me out and shit!" she yelled angrily at the field I sat in.  "Is this some kind of punishment for my arrest, because if it is..  Where the hell is my stuff, huh?"  

For a long moment, I sat frozen.  Can she see me?  Erica grumbled and stormed back inside, pacing the length of her now empty apartment.  I realized that she'd addressed 'whoever was doing this' before, when I’d mistakenly given her a hint to where I was.  She didn't actually know that I was there.  All she knew was that the door to the deck was open at the same time money kept appearing.  Still, it was unnerving, like she was actually yelling at me.  

Carefully, I reached through the open patio door again and took control.  I had her go back outside and drive to her new house, walking silently next to her car the whole way.  Since I had her under my control, I no longer had to avoid everything that I could potentially trample.  It was nice being able to walk around without fear of demolishing anything.

When Erica finally pulled up to the small mansion, I released her.  She slowly wandered inside, where she stood speechless, looking over the boxes of her things that had miraculously been moved there.  She found the keys to the house on one of the boxes by the door.  Dazed, Erica stepped out onto the lawn overlooking the cliff, then circled back to her car.  "I don't know if I'm going crazy, or if there's someone or something behind everything that's been happening to me," she mused.  "Maybe this is a secret social experiment or something.  But god, you-  you didn't have to go and get me this."  Shaking her head with a chuckle, Erica looked back over her shoulder at the mansion.  "I really am just going crazy, aren't I?"  She shrugged, “Well, as long as good things keep coming my way, I honestly don’t care how any of this happens.”  Erica stepped back into the new house, and I left her to get settled in.  Maybe, finally, she would change.

I was hesitant to leave Erica alone again, knowing what happened the last few times, so I stayed and watched her for a bit every day.  However, after a few weeks or so, I was getting bored of watching similar things happening daily.  She hadn’t done anything too out of the ordinary while I was there, so eventually I left — confident that this time Erica could handle herself without me.  Every once and a while I’d come back and check on her, but she’d been doing pretty well for a while now, and I was beginning to move on to other things.  About five months had passed since I’d first met Erica, and more than once I thought about showing her the truth.  Where the money came from, who was actually helping her out, but that was an increasingly bad idea the longer I thought through it.  Showing Erica everything would only leave her with way too many questions than she needed answered.

[kingofscoops]

7 11 18 23 27 28 30x2: what is something you are looking forward to in your day to day life, and within the realm of your interests? what is something you really want to happen in s5 of ST that you don't recall seeing anyone else talk about?

7. what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

Fuckkk I haven't been to an aquarium in so long (and yet there's one in the city where I live lol), erm, probably the sharks or turtles, I can't remember what my aquarium has lol

11. anything from your childhood you’ve held on to?

A lot 😅, I still live at home and am apparently too sentimental to get rid of half of the junk from my childhood, main thing I would say are my beanie babies and other stuffed animals, I hate the idea of giving away to strangers (yeah I know it's bad)

18. Your boba/tea order?

I don't drink boba or tea so nothing

23. do you wear jewelry?

Yeah, I wear rings, necklaces and one earing when I remember to have it in (normally after I've had to half repierce because I left it so long) - and yeah only one because I had issues with my other ear piercing and didn't wanna go through having it pierced again

27. what’s your favorite or go-to outfit?

Some skinny jeans, one of my many many graphic tees (probably my Eddie Munson one I love it so much and it's by far one of my comfiest) a pair of my vans or my boots (my fave boots don't fit me very well atm which make me sad - damn my chubby ankles and calves), my red plaid shirt or green plaid Metallica shirt vest (weather dependent) and some of my rings - my faves are my amethyst coffin ring and my bat ring.

28. last meal on earth?

Pizza, or maybe Shake Shack (I'm still pissed that I can't get them round here anymore I miss their cheesy crinkle fries 😭)

30 - 1. What is something you look forward to in your day to day life, and within the reasons of your interests.

At the minute I'd say the freedom on being unemployed and knowing I don't have the stress and weight of my old job on the shoulders, but I'm still struggling to figure out what I've really want to do but I'm still waiting to hear back from a different job I applied for a few weeks back (I'm hoping I can at least get an interview because it's for a company that specialises in something I'm actually interested)

But yeah woo freedom, I get to get back into my hobbies I felt to exhausted to do in my free time when I was working at my old job.

30 - 2. What is something you really want to happen in S5 of ST that you don't recall anyone else talking about?

ooh that's an interesting one, I think most of what I want has already been expressed in one way or another, while there are certain things I couldn't care less about (B*ler/m*leven love triangle all that crap because I don't even have an attachment to those characters anymore due to not liking the actors all that much anymore - yeah I know I'll probably get some hate there for that...), my main things for endgame are;

A happy ending for Max, Lucas, Dustin, Steve, Robin and Erica (they are probably the only characters I do care about these days)

Steve and Nancy not becoming a thing again (still one of things I hated most about s4 - they are better as friends I don't understand what the duffer idiots don't see about that)

And Steve in general finding happiness, whether that's actually finding someone who gets him and isn't going to hurt him or finally being ok with just himself (though in my mind he's living happy with my oc and probably always will be whatever happens in S5 lol)

I'd say I'd love to see Eddie come back too but if we're being realistic here, do we think that's actually gonna happen? It hasn't with any other fan faves who have died so I don't think that'll happen, I mean heck they're not even bringing back Argyle and he's alive so 🤷‍♀️

Send me some weirdly specific asks

[autumnslance]

☄ your choice?

☄: what the writing process was like

This was hard so I left it up to FC vote during our maps night and they decided on "Rogue's Prelude", my actual longfic about our favorite damn rogue and my made-up a backstory for him.

So my 2 longfics for Thancred happened back in 2018. I had gotten back into the game in 2017 with Stormblood, had rolled up C'oretta and Aeryn, got C'oretta through the game, started to play Aeryn...and realized I was in Trouble. I had no idea how to run a OCNPC romance storyline but it was apparently happening regardless, so I had to figure it out.

In Feb 2018 things came to a head at work, I was fired--on the same day I fell in the shower and bruised and wrenched the heck out of my shoulder--and I started to go to therapy for the absolute funk I was in (some of it due to that previous work place sending me downward).

So I had a lot of free time between job hunting and temp work and a stint of jury duty. Free time I really needed, honestly, and by the time I got into my current workplace later that summer/fall I was in a much better headspace. And the creativity was trickling back in after a years-long dry spell and I needed to figure out how to write my favorite NPC, to figure out who he was by himself, so I could eventually smoosh his face into my WoL's face, or something, IDK, I was still figuring out this "shipping" thing.

I'd shaken some rust off with the 2017 FFXIV Write. "Walk in the Wilds" was like cracking loose locked-up joints. I felt much more confident when I decided to tackle the ideas I had for Thancred's backstory, especially when I realized how much longer it was going to be.

There was a lot of research; into 1.0 things, into Louisoix, into actual real life Thieves' Cant, into various Limsan quests and stories, into all things Thancred available at the time. I outlined, roughly, with lots of bullet points and random notes, scene ideas, dialogue ideas. Some things made it in, some things did not. I ended up reworking my idea for the climactic final battle entirely as the original iteration on the Isle of Umbra wasn't working out. I made up plenty of things (and some folks ask me if X is canon or something they read in my fic which is wild to me).

I had a vague idea of the overall, but the actual plotting and planning of each chapter happened as I wrote them, maybe only 2 chapters ahead at most; I'm a very impatient writer. The epilogue I got the idea for maybe a third of the way through, and got a few revisions as I went along to fit the story.

It also kept me sane and gave a focus for my anxiety as I went through training and the first few weeks at my new job, given the absolute blow to my confidence the previous one had dealt me. Even if I sometimes found, in my eagerness and anxiety, time during work to write. The eager, lovely commentary of my readers helped a lot during that time.

I haven't had quite such a manic creative period as that weird summer of 2018, but I've been happily busy and stable at my job, and have managed to stay relatively steady with smaller writing projects and even sometimes posting them. There's things I look back and would change/do differently now in "Prelude" and "Walk" but overall I'm still quite proud of them, and I guess I figured out how to write Thancred more or less OK (at least I stopped worrying about smooshing his face with my WoL's, though many times they prefer cuddling with a book together, those nerds), and learned what works for me when I get the hankering to write longfic, as they helped me get my writing groove back.

Hard to explain a specific process 4 years later, but the timing definitely had a hand in the vague planning and definite execution of a 37k+ longfic that required in game and real world research and making up a buncha stuff that seemed semi-plausible. Lotsa notes. Lotsa throwaway scenes and dialogue bits. Stitching it together, not as much editing and revision as I do these days (hrm, maybe too much these days...), and a fic fell out while I was dealing with Life, and one of the ways I managed to get through said Life happening to me at that time.

Thank goodness for our blorbos, being there when we need 'em.

[hana-the-ghostieee]

hey hey heyyy! not your typical yorushika post here but does involve them. as in elmy and ojisuma. anyways

sometimes i feel like my interests just bleed and blend into each other, unless they can't. (like i literally don't know how the same person that draws a butt ton of cats and likes to radiate positivity and enjoys kawaii culture and decora and happiness listens to songs about literally just living for music, and having no purpose once you literally can't create anymore, or about losing someone close to you and just having this hole. this hole in my heart they left behind. they used to be the one that could fill the void but now that they're gone i can't fill it, it's this hole that keeps spreading and spreading in the middle of my chest)

i mean let's be real i physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually can't connect Perfume and this like danish pastel aesthetic. or Kyary Pamyu Pamyu with 8/31, the day Amy ran out of ink and oofed himself with the one gay ship i show my support on in the back of my notebooks. (those men. they can break up in front of my gravestone. and my spirit will float around. forever haunting this land. edit: i read The Moon That Breaks by TheHufflebean on AO3 and when i got to the breakup scene i lied on the floor and held my breath for like 5 minutes because well. i don't have a gravestone just lying around. but then i reread the tags and there was a make up scene (which WAS there thank whoever you'd like) and continued reading)

and before any of you people on the wolfstar tag yell at me for not putting any content related to them um click/tap Keep reading please thank you

thanks for wasting your time trying to read this! anyways

there's going to be so many more edits and tweaks and finetunes i can FEEL it

lemme take wolfstar for an example (though yorushika hasn't been bled through, thank whoever you'd like, i will list it as an example. edit: yorushika may have been bled through.)

edit: feel more than free to steal these ideas =w= i'd be a terrible writer, art is my strong suit (tho credit me i guess? idk do what you want i won't be mad if you just yoink it from wherever you see this)

japan? poof. modern au. they move to shinjuku niichome. (japan's lgbt city)

um what else what else what elseeeeeee (sorry brain is scrambled rn)

cats? poof. they adopt more cats than any reasonable person should have. (with minor disinterest from sirius but remus is just INTO IT LIKE HECK YES CATS OR I'M JUST PROJECTING IDK) bonus points if they end up running a cat cafe/cat library

yorushika?

poof.

(okay don't steal any ideas from this point on i'm working on a fic for this)

(go read Letters to Elma and Elma's Diary if you want to make sense of what's going on here! i'd recommend you listen to the full albums That's Why I Gave Up On Music and Elma first though. also trigger warning - the protag for Letters/That's Why oofs himself.)

(also please don't yell at me for making them not sound like themselves, i wrote this at like 1am, i probably suck at writing and i modeled them after the original elma and amy okay thankth)

elmy au, sirius is amy and remus is elma. both are also music creators, sirius suffers from depression, gets told by a seer (idk why. oh maybe remus has a seer friend he'd like sirius to see?? *shrugs*) he'd have less than a year left to live because of a "chronic issue", loses it and [insert Letters to Elma here]

so i'm thinking it's kind of a poa grim situation here, where a bunch of symbols saying he'd die within the year just appear out of nowhere, more frequent than before and then he gets a diagnosis for some heart disease and then above scene plays out

edit: don't know how i forgot this buttttt um in Diary 5/15 Elma says "Life surely has an expiration date. Those were the words I let leak out to him, a long time ago." (him being amy ofc) and im just imagining remus saying a bunch of poetic stuff cuz even though he doesn't do it often, he's a freaking good songwriter then this comes up and sirius just internalizes those words like no other

also i think i've moved on from my Kamisama no Dansu (dance of the gods) phase, on to Ame Haruru (after the rain) and i want to mention a few lines. "another summer without you is on it's way" - i'm assuming this is remus going welp. i guess no boyfriend. it's been a while. (back when they were in school they had summers apart but then they moved in together so they also spent the summers together but ofc now that sirius is somewhere in gotland/farosund/idk remus is just. i guess you won't be there this summer) "finally, the rain fell" - a reference as to how amy/sirius left town before writing what it's like after the rain. and it's counterpart, "finally, the rain stopped" - remus/elma experiencing what it's like, knowing he didn't

more edit: uhm completely forgot about the lycanthropy so assume remus found a forest or something (you know what. it's the forest referenced in the instrumental mori no kyoukai/church in the forest) all the while sirius is in the back (or well lord knows where in gotland) cursing himself for forgetting the thing he does w/ bf every. single month

back to 12am me :P

oh but instead of writing down all the letters and whatever and then getting a box and mailing it off, sirius sends remus letters like individually and consistently so remus also goes to sweden and hunts him down but remus doesn't have any spare paper on him so he can't respond in any way

don't ask me how he sends the letters and how he receives the letters

oh wait i got it nvm! um sirius sends the letters by owl (how could i forget) and remus has a diary (because Elma's Diary) but you know. he's not one of those people that rips pages out of their books (at least in this au that exists in the void that is my mind)

and then he chases after him. literally looking freaking everywhere. sometimes they're 3 days apart. sometimes they're so close you'd be sure they have dora the explorer eyesight but no they JUST miss each other like BARELY by a MILLISECOND like seriously remus can freaking SMELL him but thinks it's like a hallucination (cuz he has been getting those recently, see Diary 8/27) or yk becuz he stole some of sirius' clothes (though on 5/15 Elma also says she can't taste anything so rem can't either. also smell & taste are connected so he essentially just loses the function to smell anything. sign of severe depression =w=)

and then comes 8/31. (machIGAUTTERUNDAYO WAKATTERUNDA ANTARA NINGEN MO--)

sirius is on the pier, opening the bottle of Flower Verdigris/Paris Green/Emerald Green/take your pick.

remus stands at the base (?) (what do you call that part on a dock/pier where you just get on) of the pier. he could recognize that black hair anywhere.

okay googled it

oh wait no that's for a floating dock

i googled it again

...found nothing. anyways

he stands at the base of the pier, at the silhouette sitting on the edge. he could recognize that curly, dark hair from 50 miles away.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!!!"

sirius' head turns. he seems to be crying.

"re...?"

anyways remus runs up to him and [insert nautilus mv epic outro here but instead of the guitar it's sirius and instead of elma crying the liquid water out of her... being it's remus who is also crying the liquid water out of his being][...also nautilus is a wip until they get home][to clarify things remus does not pick sirius up like the guitar. they're hugging so hard you'd think a spine would break and they're maybe kissing and definitely crying]

edit: i sat down and thought about it so um sirius is sitting on the docks like one would sit on a bench (legs dangling off of the surface) and remus just runs to him and drops on the floor, kneeling position similar to the epic guitar/piano outro in the nautilus mv with the thrown papers and they're still crying and the sun is rising because even though amy oofed himself on the dock around the evening on 8/31 here sirius tries to oof himself at dawn, cuz the line "someday, the dawn will break, so try and open your sleepy eyes, because i've pictured them so many times" and then they stand up face each other and then collapse onto each other (like lean onto each other) and then cue passionate kissing (finally) (ooh as the sun rises and parts through the clouds. someday i will try my best to draw it. and um put it here. be prepared for the ultimate pathetic. something idk.)

and right now they're just gay sobbing messes :P

yet another edit: i'm thinking i can find a way to incorporate the lily/remus friendship. so you know the old lady that first appears in Diary 7/5, right? i'm thinking she's at least a representation of lily, though of course in this au she's swedish (along with the other peeps. yk james and peter and severus mhm) so remus understands. nothing. in this au they first meet because lily needed help w/ baggage ig? it's on the ferry to gotland and well her first husband/bf passed on (shown in Diary 7/22, elderly woman says "Man" and smiles, implying she looks back on the memories fondly, and we're expected to believe this was her husband. i'm thinking in this au maybe??? snape/lily was a thing. not sure. write some ship in the comments/rbs i guess) also i'm pretty sure she thought remus was straight and that he lost his gf/wife and is trying to move on too (in case you forgot, he's looking for a certain sirius, which is in fact alive, who is his bf) and on the ship home on 9/25 (i like to think they as in r/s stayed in sweden for a bit longer, taking more pics together and enjoying whatever they missed while looking for each other) they see lily/elderly woman again with her child harry supported by the man she loves, james (aww that would be sweet tho. fluffy jily and wolfstar stuff at the end) (in canon Diary, the elderly woman with her children and the new husband is kind of a symbol for Elma, saying she'll move on and heal and potentially find someone else)

okay i thought about it and sat a bit more. and. remember 8/27? (the blend of fantasy/reality whatever where Elma finds Amy's stuff?) uhm i'm thinking something like that would happen here on 8/31, but ofc with more intervention from miss nice old lady (represented by lily). so she's moved on from her grief and found another love (james) right? well turns out james is still an animagus in this au (how helpful =w=) and lily is just. unsure of what the heck happened. (tho she does get some "help i'm looking for my boyfriend" vibes) until she connects the dots. they're fronking looking for each other before sirius' life reaches it's "expiration date" (though let's be real. throwing away that life would be like yeeting a loaf of freshly baked bread into the bin) so she tells james the master plan. she thinks on the last day of his life, remus would go out and look for him again, unaware of the fact that his boyfriend is literally at the lowest point of his life. so she'd sent out james for remus to follow (under the pretense that that was sirius' shadow, before leading him to the docks where sirius would go like once every like two weeks since coming to gotland to regret whatever he did) and then cue the scene from "and then comes 8/31. (maCHIGAUTTERUNDAYO WAKATTERUNDA ANTARA NINGEN MO--)" it's basically just saaaaaaaaaaaayonaaaaaaaaaaaaaaraa no haYASA DE KAOO WO AGETE. ITSUKA YATTO YORU GA AKETARA, MOU, ME WO SAMASHITEEEEE, MITEEEEEEEE, NEBOKE MANAKO NO KIMI WO, NANDEDATTE EGAITEIRU KARA (yeah i put some lines from nautilus, your point is?) all the while jily are just watching the gay sobbing messes™ from afar, in the forest or hiding in a bush near the base, high-fiving and cheering or something idk

ohkayee back again to me from 1am

oh also remus does write the responses to the songs sirius sent him, and they show each other freakin all the songs they wrote (so sirius shows him the summer grass gets in my way and a loser doesn't need an encore in the "original" notebook Elma finds on 8/27 but again this is wolfstar. so rem runs to siri and then they go back and take all the other stuff. and then remus shows him the pre-8/27 but in this case pre-8/31 songs and then writes ame to kapuchiino/rain and cappucino, kokoro ni ana ga aita/a hole opened up in my heart, yuu ichijou/only sorrow and the wolfstar version of amy because well. he wrote responses to almost the entire album. so close yet so far. and sirius is in the back reading the lyrics remus wrote and is just crying the liquid water out of his body because did he really cause his boyfriend that much pain? IM SORRYBDJSJSBDB DJSJSHEHDHDHDHEVRHFIKSJSJSJEGEUDHSHRJRIDJX DNDJE DDKAJWBBDJDISJABSDN9W72URIROAQHENNSOAOWIWKSKSKWKWKKAAAALSOWKMRRFIUY)

also sirius moves to the inn/room where remus stays in while doing the looketh for boyfriend and songwriting thing. remus doesn't realize how salty his pillow smells until now. (one of the downsides of crying yourself to sleep =w=)

i do realize there are some continuity errors in the way the songs are written, like in this au everything's supposed to happen within the same year, whereas in canon elmy everything happens assumably in two consecutive years (it doesn't explicitly state) and because it's written under two consecutive years assumably the songs would have to be written and sent at different times (especially august, a certain place, moonlight and evening calm, a certain place, fireworks.)

edit: so i'm thinking before the events of any of these. sorry if this ruins continuity in this au or something but like before the events of this remus co-wrote the summer grass gets in my way and a loser doesn't need a encore's songs (the first two eps by yorushika), specifically the ones with music videos except for The Clouds and The Ghost (for the summer grass - Say It. & Fireworks Beneath My Shoes and for a loser doesn't need - Hitchcock, Just a Sunny Day For You & Semi-Transparent Boy) and then when he finds the notebook they sit down and review the non-mv vocal songs thus far (Cattleya, Blooming In That Summer, A Loser Doesn't Need An Encore, Compulsive Bomber & Hibernation and they're all bops)

alrighty back again to 12am me :|

moreeee editttttt: so about the song Dance of the Gods. (because i've been freaking obsessed with it since like August) um there are a bunch of lines i want to include so. in the song at the end of the choruses, there are variations of the line "I don't care, I'll go even further, to a place no one's ever heard of, searching for the moonlight" (being "I don't care, I'll go even further, to a place no one can see, and put up an imitation of living" and "That's right, I'll go even further, to a place no one knows of, searching for the moonlight") and i think that's Elma giving up on creating music to give it "value" and "a life of it's own", and creating music because well it's fun but in this au i think that's remus going I WILL FOLLOW BEEF TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH IF THAT'S WHERE HE IS (not sure why remus would call sirius moonlight tho cuz well he's moony) (okay you know what. sirius looks down upon his ability to compose while calling remus' songs his moonlight and that he was jealous of his skills. remus, being the self loathing person he is thinks it's like a light hearted joke or something. now that his boyfriend is gone he's trying to find this "moonlight" boyfriend saw that he couldn't see, wanting to live out his ideals)

and another edit: so the August, A Certain Place, Moonlight and Evening Calm, A Certain Place, Fireworks problem. the thing about the Elmy story is Elma's story takes place a year, i think, after Amy's, so all the songs would be written at completely different times, not necessarily within a few days of each other. i'm thinking sirius wrote August and sent it out to remus and then remus wrote Evening Calm because they sound similar and at first canon Elma imitated Amy before slowly moving on to her own style so these gay messes do too

same issue between Let's Dance and Dance of the Gods - but this time i think Dance of the Gods was written shortly after Let's Dance

and then they go back home which is in Sekimachi i guess (that's the town Elma met Amy so ??? i guess r/s lives there now??? they (elma and amy) met in the cafe (that has since closed down) shown in the rain and cappuccino mv which is allegedly in sekimachi) and live long enough for me not to be able to think about how their lives end because now that i ship them so bad, reading ootp and tdh again would practically (and effectively) traumatize me. i'd be scarred for life. it's like that one scene in nakineko where Kento says he hates Miyo and rejects her in front of the whole class and then she starts tearing up and runs out of the class and Yori follows her and then Miyo is just numb to the pain. she got hurt so bad she can't feel anything. flash forward to when she gets home. *face buried in pillow* [LOUD SOBBING NOISES]

more edit: i just realized. okay so on the last Letter (from 8/31, when Amy runs out of ink) Amy states he quit music once, but Elma brought him back into it, after she showed him some songs she wrote and sung and he described it as (wait lemme pull up the doc) "unerring, faultless light that can only illuminate the night. unimaginably soft, dazzling beyond my wildest dreams, pale moonlight" (ink fades away at the word moonlight) and um now i feel like that's what sirius would sometimes call remus (besides moons or moony)

like no. honey we're gon kill no one today. thank yu. (maybe this is why i read fanfics)

another edit: so you know how i listed here they go home and share the songs they wrote and whatevers?? um now im thinking. remus finishes writing the last 4 songs that in Elma's Diary were written after 8/27 (rain and cappuccino, a hole opened up in my heart, only sorrow and the wolfstar version of amy in case you forgot) and sirius shares his thoughts

so um here

(also i feel like the "still grieving" thing would be remus. just being scared about the fact that bf might just run out the door and disappear again? and feels a lot safer when he wakes up with bf in his arms)

rain and cappuccino:

[first verse] pretty innocent

[chorus] *voice shaking* wow, keeping in track with the theme i see

remus: to be fair, what i responded to had a similar message. ...as if i could let memories of you fade away (no literally like i can't even if i wanted to)

a hole opened up in my heart:

[first three lines] MOONLIGHT BABE STOP IT PLEASE I SWEAR ON THE EXISTENCE OF EVERYTHING I WILL NEVER HURT YOU AGAIN

(for context, the song sirius would've written is false night, whose main line is "I want to open a hole in you", and this song is the response to that, with the main (and first) line "That's why a hole has opened up in my heart")

[end of the song] *lying on the floor, indistinct but very loud sobbing noises*

remus: well i did have to capture what i felt then. more grieving and crying up ahead

(this is by far the most painful song ever it's like a knife stuck in your chest and you take the handle and keep twisting it deeper into yourself just AAAAAAAAA LET ME CRYYYYYYY)

only sorrow:

[reads title] do i bring out the tissues or...?

[first verse] okay wow this sounds nothing like the song i wrote pretty ironic since you tried to literally "live" my life but okay

remus: wait for it

[chorus] okay i sound about ready to cry

amy (or the wolfstar ver):

(before reading/listening) if this is another song about grief i swear im going to go cry alone for the next 5 hours

(after reading and/or listening) *5 second delay* *goes and hugs remus*

(amy as in the song is one of the sweetest songs yorushika has made like ever in their 8-ish years of existence. it responds to the song elma and was written when elma (the person) finally moves on from her grief and now looks fondly back to those days. when her lover oofed himself and she went through sweden crying and looking for him. ...yeah not that sweet but idk)

all the while remus is just writing this and showing it to him like how i do with my art when talking about it with my friends. just "alrightyyyyyyy i did a thing. here. *smacks paper down on table* any thoughts???"

and then [insert healing and fluffy romantic stuff here]

okay thats all for the edit continue reading the thing 12am me wrote

oh shoot now i can't unthink this why T^T

um oh well i guess? i'll probably forget this was a thing anyways

oh but since we're already hereeeeeeeeeee

poof.

ojisuma au

(okay you can steal this one)

(read the novel Plagiarism for context here! the album isn't as important here, it kind of serves as a background noise and also expresses oji-san's experience. oh also yes, the album takes melodies, beats and rhythms from actual songs (as well as their own, in the song plagiarism) so yeah go listen to the album too i guess :D)

sirius is oji-san and remus is tsuma but tsuma doesn't die and they also work together to produce music but what rem doesn't know is siri has been stealing???? all of these sounds??? for the songs he thought was original??? and eventually siri comes to the conclusion that the only original thing he can create is his downfall as a musical artist (essentially just goes through what oji-san does but no dead wife but this is a wolfstar au so no dead husband.) so he does. this is my pathetic replacement for the prank and them not trusting each other. and rem is not happy. (he no trust him no more) but siri then goes and creates the two songs night journey and ghost in a flower because i think oji-san wrote those songs after he destroyed his reputation cuz they sound so different from all the other songs in tousaku (or maybe it was because of nakineko. not complaining it is still my fav movie. there's CATS. there's drama. there's CATS. there's romance. there's CATS. there's magical island with cats. there's CATS. did i say CATS. anyways)

um society as a whole just hates on siri. honestly can't blame society as a whole.

and then he releases sousaku/creation without stealing a thing (applaud for him please. i cant hear you clapping CLAP HARDER) and then *cue redemption arc*

yet. another. edit. : um i feel like adding some stuff so sirius would've written the songs Ghost in a Flower and Spring Thief to celebrate the relationship he had (and will get back) with remus, Night Journey and The Lying Moon as the break-up (but not the like "I'M DONE GOODBYE D:<" kinda songs, more like the "I'll remain here, as you go to the other side" or the "Rain has fallen, flowers have scattered/I still think about your rosy cheeks/as I keep drinking love from a bottomless ladle/It's true, it's tasteless, this thirst that's never satisfied, but you can laugh all you want and say "Is that so?/but I'll be here, just waiting for you") um and the instrumental creation would be a filler, and Robbery and Bouquet would be an allusion to his past self with the plagiarism and the sound stealing and i'm not sure what Eat the Wind would be

and then they get back together ^.^

(ooh but hold on. i feel like making a plagiarist remus and a tsuma sirius)

if the ojisuma au didn't sound as in depth or something know that Dakara Boku wa Ongaku wo Yameta (basically elmy) is like the most iconic yorushika lore

therefore more people are more interested in that (and i am part of more people :P) (also there's more context in elmy than ojisuma)

wow how the hekk did i connect wolfstar. a fanon (that deserves to be canon) gay ship about two friends in a group at a wizarding school that end up being more with... yorushika. a band that constantly hurts me. as in it hurts GOOD. like go listen to yoru magai and then kokoro ni ana ga aita. (with translations cuz im pretty sure barely any of you guys on the wolfstar or sirius x remus tag know japanese) LIKE STOPPPPPP THAT SONG IS THE DEFINITION OF GRIEF AND PAIN AND I DON'T KNOW HOW N-BUNA, A PERSON THAT SAID HE WROTE SONGS LIKE THESE TO EXPRESS HIS VIEWS ON LIKE LIFE AND DEATH CREATE A SONG THIS PAINFUL. LIKE HOW DO YOU WRITE SONGS LIKE THESE???

edit: i didn't connect them i practically forced another universe onto them (also i may be one of the first people to do this idk i have no idea who else is a big yorushika fan and a wolfstar shipper)

okay that is all i think have a nice dayyyyyy/nighttttttt/timezoneeeeeeeee

wait WHAAA

okay im typing this on mobile and??? you can freaking DRAG PARAGRAPHS???

...why don't they make this with tags i had to use little asterisks when i posted that apparently bots keep following me thing

wow this is like the LONGEST post i've made ever what the hell

wow the amount of times i've edited this GOSH

uhm anyways *hand on hip* *thumbs up* woo! *collapses face-down on floor*

[lionheartslowstart]

Moved In (Again)

The last month or so has been pretty hectic and definitely stressful. My boyfriend "Thomas" and I finally moved out of the horrible apartment we were living in. While I initially liked the idea of moving back to the city, it was just so not what we thought it was going to be.

Obviously, the main issue was finances. Living in the city, really any of the five boroughs, has become exponentially more expensive than it was when I lived there seven years ago. And the type of job Thomas has requires a lot of commuting (which also adds up after a while), so it was just not a sustainable situation. On top of cost, I realized that living in the city is just not what I want anymore, which honestly makes me really sad. Several years ago, I thrived in New York. I loved living in that kind of apartment and joining in on the hustle and bustle every day. The only reason I left was because my POS ex forced me to. Maybe it's because I'm older, or because I have different needs now, but I came to the hard realization that, while I adore Manhattan, it's just not the kind of environment I can thrive in anymore. It does kind of make sense, when I think about how attached I've become to LA, and the kind of lifestyle that's over there, that I would in turn end up floating away from the NYC lifestyle. But I'm sad anyway, because I'm still losing something. And I can't help but be angry at my ex for that too. Just something else he stole from me.

But I digress. Funnily enough, we were able to move back to my old apartment building, though it is (thankfully) a different unit. I always had a good relationship with the management team there, so when I reached out to them to let them know we were moving again and ask if they had any availabilities, they were thrilled! They told me I was a model tenant, and they would love to have me back. I'm lucky I had an in, because they only had ONE apartment available and they weren't even advertising it online.

Thomas and I fell in love with the apartment as soon as we saw it. It's almost one thousand square feet, bigger than any apartment either of us had ever lived in. It even has a cute little den area where we keep the desk, the bookcase, and all of our witchy things. The living room is spacious, with enough room to put up the pole, and the bedroom is perfect: not so big that it feels weirdly empty, and not so small that you have to squeeze around the furniture. The layout is fantastic, and there's tons of room for our various art, with still plenty of wall space to spare! Unfortunately, due to the model of the unit and its layout relative to the rest of the building, we had to give up the balcony, but we mutually decided that was the right call. Again, ours was the only available unit at the time, and we wanted to pounce on it before anyone else could snap it up. But even if there were other units available, we probably still would have gone with this one. I can't explain it, but it just feels so..."us."

The application process was super smooth. Management even agreed to put our applications in a few weeks early, because they really wanted us to be the people to get it! Then it was just cleaning the old place, packing all our stuff, moving our furniture and things, unpacking our stuff, and (my favorite part) organizing our stuff. Those few weeks were the most stressed I'd been in quite some time. But now, we're finally more or less settled. We just have to finish hooking up all our gaming systems, do some cleaning, and then there's just a few odds and ends here and there (like figuring out where the heck to hang the Pride flags), and we're all done!

We've only been officially living here for just under a month, but we're SO much happier than we were in Brooklyn. It's such a great space, and we're both familiar with the area. I'm familiar with the area because I grew up not far from here. Thomas is familiar with the area because he did live in my old place with me for a couple of months before we moved to the city, and that man has the memory of a steel trap. Additionally, we're only about 40 minutes from my parents now, when we used to have to drive almost two hours to get to their house! Of course, we're still pretty far from Thomas' folks, but you'd be surprised what a difference an hour makes when you're driving long distance. We're also not too far from the city. The commute using public transport is easy and not terribly expensive, so it's there when we want to go visit. But we also happen to be sandwiched between a small city and a large town, both of which have great restaurants and fun recreational activities available. So it's really a win-win. We'll have fun no matter where we go!

I'm so excited to start a new life here with the person I love. The energy in this space is so much brighter, warmer, and happier than it has been anywhere I've lived before. I may not want to stay in New York forever, but this finally feels like home.