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#but i posted this one thing on my private story about this girl who sent me a weird and rude message
faethfigueroth · 1 year
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driverlando · 4 months
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✧.* TWO BEST FRIENDS IN A ROOM
synopsis - you and charles are two bestfriends, but over the years you become more
a/n: my first request! A Charles leclerc x singer!reader smau. hope you enjoy, pls reblog and follow :)
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charles_leclerc
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liked by yourinstagram, charlesfan16 and 1,314,741 others
charles_leclerc happy birthday @yourusername sorry I can’t make it this year. drinks are on me the next time we meet ❤️
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charlesfan16 friendship goals
↳ y/nfan69 I NEED them to be more
f1forever they’ve been there for eachother since the beginning of their careers 🥹
oscarpiastri why don’t I ever get a birthday post on instagram
↳ y/nfan29 you’re just not her
↳ landonorris neither do I :(
f1forever34 oh to have drinks with the charles leclerc
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, taylorswift and 1,114,162 others
yourusername thank you once again coachella, you were amazing!
📸 by the adorable @charles_leclerc (p.s thanks for the drinks 🥂)
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yourfan16 ADORABLE??!?!?
↳ leclercforever let’s not make this something into something it isn’t
↳ espresso78 I NEED THEM TO BE A COUPLE
charles_leclerc anytime 🥂
y/nbestsinger THEY HAD THEIR DRINK!! 🥹
landonorris I’m the adorable one, not him
↳ charles_leclerc someone’s jealous
arianagrande pretty girl ✨
IS LOVE IN THE AIR? CHARLES LECLERC AND CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND Y/N SPARK ROMANCE RUMOURS
In a twist that has sent fans into a frenzy, Formula 1 star Charles Leclerc and singer Y/N, who have been best friends since childhood, were spotted holding hands during a leisurely stroll in Monaco yesterday. The sighting has ignited rumors that the pair’s relationship has blossomed into something more than just friendship.
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The duo was seen walking along the picturesque Port Hercule, laughing and appearing very much at ease in each other’s company. Both were dressed casually, with Charles sporting a simple white T-shirt and blue jeans, while Y/N looked effortlessly chic in a miu miu white skirt and blue top. But it wasn’t their fashion choices that caught the public’s eye—it was the undeniable chemistry and the intimate gesture of holding hands.
While the public speculation has been rampant, sources close to Charles and Y/N have confirmed to Daily Mail that the two are indeed in a romantic relationship. “Charles and Y/N have always been very close, but over the past few months, their bond has deepened,” a source revealed. “They’ve realized that their connection is more than just platonic, and they’re exploring this new chapter together.”
Another insider added, “They’ve been inseparable lately. It’s been a natural progression from friendship to romance. They’re very happy and are taking things one step at a time.”
A Friendship Turned Romance
Charles and Y/N’s story is the stuff of fairy tales. The pair grew up in Monaco, attending the same school and sharing numerous childhood memories. Despite their demanding careers—Charles in the high-octane world of Formula 1 racing and Y/N in the glitzy music industry—they have always made time for each other. Their close bond has often been a topic of admiration among their fans, who have long speculated about a potential romantic link.
What’s Next for the New Couple?
As Charles gears up for the upcoming Grand Prix and Y/N prepares for her next album release, the couple is reportedly keen to keep their relationship private and out of the public eye. However, given their high-profile careers, that may be easier said than done.
Despite the challenges that may come with dating in the spotlight, it’s clear that Charles and Y/N are ready to navigate their new relationship together. Whether it’s supporting each other at races and concerts or enjoying quiet moments in Monaco, this celebrity pairing is already proving to be one of the most talked-about romances of the year.
Stay tuned for more updates on Charles Leclerc and Y/N’s blossoming romance as we follow this beautiful love story unfold!
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charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 1,749,888 others
charles_leclerc Two bestfriend in a room…
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landonorris they will kiss 😌
↳ f1fans67 😭😭😭
charlesfan56 CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING???
↳ y/nforever2 IM SO HAPPY
formulaonefan3 couple goals 🥹
[liked by charles_leclerc and yourinstagram]
yourusername my muse 🫶
[liked by charles_leclerc]
↳ y/nthebestsinger so happy for you bestie
↳ charlesfan1009 they’re so cute 😭😭
↳ oscarpiastri I thought that was me :(
yourbestfriend fave couple ❤️
taylorswift love you two!
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▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄SHE CAN GO HOME, BUT SHE’S NOT GOING TO
┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺  ° i would do
anything
you want me to…. ✧ ⁺ ┊
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PART 4 of the Spitfire Saga
TRAILER: A home race that doesn’t feel like home anymore
(2018!f1grid x fem!Genz!driver!reader, max verstappen x reader (platonic), lewis hamilton x reader (platonic) sebastian vettel x reader (platonic))
For more Spitfire content go to my account and it’s my pinned post since tumblr hates me and won’t let me link anything :)
WARNINGS: FAMILY ISSUES, mentioned child abuse, swearing, gratuitous hurt/comfort, reader’s birthday happens before the gp, mention of a suicidal thought, ANGST, barely edited :)
fc: an assortment of female celebs
Aaaaannnnd ACTION!
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f1
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f1: 🇺🇸🦅💥💥💥HOME RACE FOR Y/N L/N 🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅 
 American fans - be there or be 🟦
📍Circuit of the Americas
tagged: yourusername, mercedesamgf1
liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 637918 others
view 2672 comments 
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yourusername just shared a story!
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this story is no longer available
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You arrive early, per usual, to make sure you have time for every fan, and maybe to catch a glimpse of Taylor Swift, who will be singing the national anthem today.
Your phone call with Seb last night quickly turned into him and Hanna knocking on your hotel room door and enveloping you in their arms. You fell asleep between the two of them, a comfort show playing on low volume in the background.
You hate that it caught you off guard. A small, stupid part of you actually believed that your family - your mother - could love you like they - like she- was meant to. 
It was supposed to be fun. You dressed up, treated them to one of the nicest restaurants in Austin. The second they arrived, though, it all turned to shit. 
At least your fans are majorly little girls and they couldn’t care less if you’re having widely photographed, public arguments with your older brother after a family dinner turned sour. 
Miraculously, you get into the paddock unscathed by prying questions into your personal life. You just get set up in your drivers room for Qualifying and try to put it all behind you. You don’t see Taylor, and unlike any other day, you don’t have the energy to face the paddock.
As you rearrange your hangers for the hundredth time, there’s a knock on your door. You sigh. Most of the team knows that you like your private time before any event, especially your first home race. 
“Yeah?”
The door opens slowly. It’s Lewis. Since the beginning of the season, your relationship with him has definitely developed. He’s good friends with Seb and you have a sneaking suspicion that he has told Lewis to keep an eye on you where Seb can’t. He’s become a sort of mentor-slash-friend and you couldn’t be happier, especially since you’ve both signed on for another few years at Mercedes. 
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you say. 
Lewis sent me this. 
“Did you hear about Taylor Swift?” You exclaim. “How cool is that?”
He grants you a trademark half-smile. 
“Consider it a belated birthday gift.”
You eyes widen and your mouth drips open.
“It was you?”
He shrugs.
“It wasn’t very hard to convince her.”
You hurry over to him, hesitate for a second, then hug him gently. You’ve never hugged him in a normal setting. You break off of him and stand there, not quite knowing what to say next.
“Home race,” He says awkwardly. Lewis is hardly ever awkward. “Big deal.”
“Yeah.” You don’t mean to sound annoyed. Or tired. Or defeated. 
“Family coming? I’d like to meet them. I don’t think I have, yet. “
That’s true. Your mother has been to two Grand Prix since the start of the season and your father and brother one, respectively. They’re busy people, but after last night, some part of you wonders if your mother intentionally schedules conflicts so that they can never make it. 
That’s stupid, she says in your head. We love you. You’re the one who makes this whole thing impossible. 
When they have shown up, you’ve kept them as far away as possible from cameras, and Lewis draws every camera in every room he steps foot in. Maybe your brother is right. Maybe you hide them because of some secret shame you hold for them. The only thing you’re ashamed of is how complicated your relationship with your family is. 
“No. I-“
What?
Sent them home? 
Told them to never show their faces around the paddock again?
Cried into Seb’s chest all of last night wishing I was dead because of how horrible they make me feel?
“Couldn’t deal with them today,” you say decisively. The media might see you as a stone cold bitch, so why not Lewis, too. 
“They’re your family.”
“They hate me,” you whisper, turning back you your hangers. You’ve never said it out loud. Not to Max or Charles, not even to Hanna last night when she was helping you wash your face through swollen eyes and a runny nose.
“I’m sure they don’t-“
“You’ve never met them. My mom hates me. She loathes me and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. I have given her everything and she still don’t bring herself to even like me a little bit. The rest this I’m too independent, too liberal, not liberal enough, too opinionated, too young, too smart, whatever. My dad and his side wish I went to university and my mom’s side tries to chase the fame. It sucks. It didn’t use to be like this, but it is now.”
You spare a glance back at him. He’s wide- eyed. This is probably the most he’s heard you talk without cracking a joke or bursting out laughing.
“Have you told Seb? Or… Max, Charles?”
“Seb, yes. Max would order a hit on my entire family if I told him this type of thing and Charles would hide the evidence.”
What you told Charles at Christmas, he didn’t acknowledge then and there, but he was noticeably cold to your mother when you brought her to see him.  
Lewis studied you, then a look dawns on his face. It’s a mix of dread and fury, but he schools it quickly.
“Y/n,” He says in a very serious tone. “Don’t lie to me.”
Your brow furrows.
“Do they - does your mother or your father hit you?”
It wasn’t the question you’d expected, but it still makes your blood turn cold.
You think for a second, contemplate his expression, run the risks of him exploding if you tell him the truth. 
“No…” you trail off. “Once. I made her mad when I was fifteen and-“ you raise your own hand and slap your face. “Never after though.”
She cried into your shoulder for hours after, telling you just how sorry she was, how she would never dream of laying another violent hand on you again. 
Lewis’s mouth opens then closes. You purse your lips. 
“I don’t need my family,” you whisper. “And I don’t need you to worry about me. I’m fine.”
He gives you a look, one that says:
There’s no way in hell I believe you.
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chalmaxy/nship
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chalmaxy/nship: Max and Charles (+Pierre) teaming up to cheer Y/n up 😫 they are sooooo whipped for her (even tho they pretend they hate each other 🙄)
tagged: max33verstappen, charles_leclerc, pierregasly, yourusername, f1
liked by lestappenforever and 4773 others
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The video starts with the camera fixed on a very angry - looking Y/n. Her brow is set and her mouth is distorted in a flat line, which of course, is to be expected. She was obviously off her usual top-five worthy game today and has earned herself a starting position of P20.
The interviewer asks her a series of questions that she responds to very flatly and emotionlessly, so much so that her press officer elbows her in the side more than once to get an actual, genuinely not sarcastic answer out of her. 
And then -
“Do you think your family issues are the reason you’ve performed so miserably today?”
She stops. Pauses, opens her mouth then closes it again. 
“That,” she drags out bitingly. “was an incredibly stupid and insensitive question. Every question you’ve asked me today has been either completely patronizing or borderline inappropriate.”
She shoots a look at her press officer, shakes her head slightly, then leans into the microphone.
“You’ll understand why we’re choosing to cut this interview short.”
And then she turns and leaves the media pen.
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mercedesamgf1
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mercedesamgf1: AAAAAaaaaaannnnnddd she’s done it again! A home race win is yet another thing our Spitfire can check off of her bucket list 💪 
tagged: yourusername
liked by yourusername, f1 and 63720 others 
view 67199 comments 
user6: Admin really said yes she’s a spitfire yes she’s OUR Spitfire 
user7: did anyone else notice how down Y/n seemed up on the podium tho
⮑ user11: Yeah, definitely not the energy we’re used to up there
yourusername: 🖤🖤
⮑user12: girl I need to know the tea behind the story and the tweet 🙏🙏🙏
user7: Call me crazy but she’s the biggest talent of her generation, not Verstappen 
⮑ user8: you’re crazy
⮑user9: @/user8: did we not just watch the same race? 
user10: she’s making the sport annoying.
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yourusername
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yourusername: Great home race win guys! 🇺🇸💥💥🦅💥 lovely to share the podium with maxie and lewie
tagged: mercedesamgf1
liked by max33verstappen, charles_leclerc and 738291 others 
view 7329 comments
max33verstappen: Get ready, I’m coming to get you in an hour to celebrate 
⮑yourusername: I can’t drink here dumbass
⮑user13: MaxY/n confirmed???
taylorswift: So glad I finally got to meet you in person! 
⮑ user14: TAYLOR SWIFT WAS THERE AND Y/N DIDNT EVEN MENTION IT???? OH SOMETHING’S WRONG WRONG
⮑ yourusername: 🖤
user15: U go Spitfire!!
user16: Y/n is such a bitch. 
lewishamilton: This is starting to sound redundant, but congrats Y/n!
user17: I still can’t get over how rude she was to that reporter 
⮑user18: EVERY reporter is rude and/or patronizing towards her. She deserves to bite back once and a while
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True to his word, Max knocks on your door. You get up from the spot you’ve been staring out the window and open it.
He’s dressed up, ready to go out drinking, you suppose. You’ve changed into your pajamas and tied your hair up sloppily. 
He arches his eyebrows.
“Ready to celebrate?”
You shrug. 
“Not really in the mood. Plus I can’t drink here. You go ahead, tell the team to send me the bill and I’ll pick it up.”
You go to close the door then. He kicks his foot between the door and the doorframe. 
“Come out. It could still be fun,” He offers. “It’s your home race. I’d be happy if I won at spa.”
He raised his eyes brows at you and you look down guiltily. You should be happy. You’ve broken a record of some kind, you’re pretty sure, and every other driver dreams of winning his home race. 
“You’d be happy because your family would be there to see it,” you say bitterly. “Because then you’d be able to prove to them it wasn’t all for nothing. That you’re not selfish or - or something.”
Max closes the door when he hears your voice tremor. There’s a hard concern in his eyes. 
“Go, Max. You should celebrate.”
“I don’t want to anymore.”
You look him up and down. He’s gelled his hair and put on a non redbull shirt. Obviously he’s gearing up for a big night of celebrating. 
“Tell me,” He says. “You can talk to me. I’m not a stranger to family issues.”
You scoff and flop onto your bed. 
“It’s not a big deal.”
“You love partying. It’s a big deal.”
It’s quiet, except for his slightly heavy breathing. Here’s Mad Max Verstappen, standing at the foot of your bed begging you to confide in him with his eyes. His big, sad, droopy eyes.
You cover your face with the your arm.
“I can’t believe they actually left,” you choke out. “I told them to go and they just … left. The first time my entire family could muster up the time and effort to spend an entire weekend supporting me and they decide to just go home.”
Max moves towards you, hesitates, then settles himself on the floor next to your bedside table. 
“Why?”
You huff. 
“I don’t know. I push them away. I get on my mom’s nerves. I try too hard to impress my dad. Did you know,” you take a deep breath. “Did you know my mother hasn’t told me good night or I love you in five years?”
He sits and stares out the window. 
“Why doesn’t she love me, Max?”
It comes out more pathetic than you wanted it to. Max is probably one of the only people who might get it, just a little. 
“Schat…” he trails off. “I don’t know.”
Max is two years older than you. Sometimes those two years feel like a lifetime. You wish he was a lifetime older than you so he would know.
“Maybe…” He trails off. “Fuck. Maybe some people just aren’t made to be parents.”
You squeeze your eyes shut to try and push down the sobs building in your chest. Max, thankfully, doesn’t react when you let out a soft gasp and sniff wetly. He just sits there and stares out the window
Eventually, you curl up in your bed and Max sits a on the other side (on top of the covers, a safe two feet away) and turn on Star wars (The prequels - he’s a huge nerd, surprise, surprise).
Maybe some people aren’t made to be parents.
Maybe some people aren’t made to be daughters. 
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✧ ⁺ ⁺ Yelled down the hall
but nobody answered ┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺  °
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Aaannnnnnddd scene!
DIRECTOR’S CUT: A short and sad angsty hurt comfort type of thing… next chapter i swear will be happier !!
Want to join the taglist? drop a comment below or message my inbox
🏷️ @octavikravecell218 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @sugarrush-blush @scarletwidow3000 @umm-i-love-u
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lowkeycasanova · 11 months
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the fans love you
i feel like we all know that a lot of vinnie's fans send/spread hate whenever he's simply seen with a girl, but i decided to write this headcanon in which it's the opposite. where the fans absolutely love you
masterlist
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At first he didn’t know how to approach the situation. You know, finally telling everyone he has a girlfriend. He was also nervous about the reactions. Not that he gave a fuck about what people were to say about him, it was you he was worried about.
And how would he do it? Would he make a tik tok? Would he post a selfie with you on his Instagram story and let people put two and two together?
You told him you didn’t care about what other people thought. Well, maybe deep down you cared a little. Who wouldn’t? But at the end of the day, you couldn’t control what other people said about you and their jealousy.
Vinnie didn’t know the photo had been taken until Jett sent it to him. It was a picture of Vinnie sitting on the couch, you in his lap, kissing each other with your hands caressing his face and his hands wrapped around your waist. Whoever took it was at a distance and zoomed in to take it. It was a chill night at the house. You thought you were alone. Guess not.
Vinnie said, “fuck it”, and posted the picture on Instagram. It was the third picture out of six for his camera roll dump. And tagged you.
You braced yourself for the comments/notifications. Vinnie was giddy with excitement as he knew he just dropped the bomb and there was no going back now.
You told yourself that you were just gonna ignore it for now. Check back in maybe three days.
It hadn’t even been thirty minutes and you opened the app. Disregarding the new activity on your end, you went straight to his comment section.
“oh so we hard launching now?”
“babe, that don’t look like me”
“This was my last straw”
“bout to take a bath with a toaster”
“I’m actually sick”
“Who tf is this?”
“SHES GORGEOUS”
“Y’all acting like he want y’all.”
“You two are so cute!!”
“W post”
Of course there were going to be negative ones. But to your surprise, it wasn’t as bad as you thought. There were also a good number of positive ones.
You go to your notifications and it’s flooded. Again, the negative comments were there. Some asking who you were and why you were with Vinnie. Some putting the throwing up emoji. Nothing that you didn’t expect. Even Vinnie was surprised at the response, so far. He was sure he was gonna have to tell some people off.
In the days to come, he started posting you more since it the relationship was no longer a “secret”. And honestly, it came natural, not looking like he was trying to show everyone he had a girlfriend. He posted you like he would post his friends.
You did the same. Although you both made sure that a lot of things were kept private.
His fans loved that they could see Vinnie from your point of view on your insta story. They loved seeing him act silly while y’all were out to lunch or out shopping because you dragged him. You liked being able to give them that content.
When he would post a video on tik tok and you were in it, some people would be like “she’s OUR gf” and he’d be like “bro what?”
You had an account of your own but wouldn’t post all that often. Vinnie’s fans would comment on his videos, telling him to tell you to post more.
When he streams, he’ll get a lot of “where’s y/n?” comments from viewers. Sometimes they would ask so much that he literally has to say that you’re not even there at the house. He would fake being offended that they weren’t playing attention to his game play. Not that he could blame them. He couldn’t stop thinking about you either.
There would be mail sent to the P.O. box with Vinnie’s name on the packaging label but every single item was for you.
When out in public, fans were just as excited to meet you. You can’t even count how many selfies you took with them.
Even the guy fans. Now, Vinnie isn’t the type to really get jealous, but you could tell something was up by how clingy he got after.
It’s like they loved you more than him and honestly, Vinnie couldn’t have been happier at the turnout.
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nothing-tolose · 5 months
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Foolish One.
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warning: reader being so dumb bcs she always ignores every signs and dreaming too much <3
if you have criticism and suggestions to me, you can just knock my dm or send it to inbox <3
a/n: this whole fic was messed up like REALLY REALLY MESSED UP please bear w me ;) have fun anw
wc: 6K
daily click
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Cards are on the table. It's way past midnight, yet the living room is bathed in light, and laughs from your friends all over the room. Here you are, having a sleepover for four nights with your friends and now playing UNO cards with them. None of you all can sleep, that's why now you were sitting on the dining chair, with three cards on your hand.
"Ellie! It's your turn!"
You glanced at Ellie, who was sitting across the table, as Sophie called out her name. God, you couldn't help yourself but screaming inside your heart as you saw her smile on her face. Those freckles on her face, green emerald eyes, and the scar on her eyebrow, she literally got your attention.
You knew that you were already fell in love with her, ever since you saw her on Aimee's instagram story 3 months ago. Head over heels even. But one thing you can't help it from yourself everytime you fall in love, you were too afraid to reach her out. Of course, your friends giving you a lot of advice so you wouldn't be afraid to start a conversation with Ellie. You already tried on their advice, such as texting her through direct messagw but always ended up you delete it before you could even send the text.
So many negative thoughts when you tried to reach her. What if she doesn't like me? What if she call me a freak? What if she hates me? A countless what-ifs lives rent free on your mind. And it explains why you weren't close enough with Ellie, you were too afraid and too shy to start a conversation.
You knew all about her from your friends. They'd tell you what's her interest, what she likes and hates, what she afraid of, and so much more. You do realize that you can't just got her news only from your friends, so you've been following her instagram account by your not really a suspicious fake account named @/16candlesf00l. Thank God her account isn't a private account, and thank God she didn't block your account!
You've also been following her TikTok with another fake account since she was pretty famous there with around 8,000 followers she has, and that makes you can easily leave comments on every video she posts without worried about she's going to confused, you usually leaving comments like, "Oh, you're really pretty!" and other flirty remarks. Then one day, you comment, "Did you cut your hair?" and she responds with just "Yeah." Despite her brief reply, you respond enthusiastically with "Should we get married?"
A single word, 'Yeah,' had already sent you into an hour of rolling on your bed, giggling, and playfully kicking your feet against the pillows.
She didn't reply to your comment after that, and you didn't mind. At least there was a bit of interaction with you, right?
"Hey!"
Snapped back to the reality by Cassandra's tap on your shoulder, she leaned in and whispered to you, "Girl, I know you're head over heels for Ellie, but how long are you going to just stare at her, huh?"
"What-" You cast a quick glance at Ellie, unable to believe what Cassandra had just said. Yet there she was, looking back at you with that slight smile on her lips, her fingers idly playing with the cards in her hand. It was clear she had been watching you for at least a minute or two.
You quickly turned your head left and right, let out an awkward chuckle to Cassandra. Oh really, you lost your words.
"Uh- Cass- I.. Uhm, what color-" You stuttered, you started feel like this situation was fucking embarrassing especially when Ellie still looking at you, not moving even for a second. Cassandra and the others waiting you pull out your cards.
And for God's sake, you really wanted to hide yourself in a closet right now.
"Hey, why did you stuttered? It's blue, go pull out your card, babe!" Cass slapped your back (not in verbally way obviously. Immediately you pulled out your card, you didn't see the number first but the color.
You saw Ellie suddenly get up from her chair, she handed her cards to Chloe who's already won the game first, "Chloe, can you play my cards for me? Em—" she stopped, clearing her throat before she continued, "I have an emergency, I'll be back later,"
Chloe just nodded without giving her a glance, hands taking the cards. Meanwhile your eyes were never leaving her gesture leaving the dining room to backyard porch.
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3 hours passed after the moment where you got caught by your friends for staring at Ellie for too long. Everyone was asleep, except you. It was really really boring because you're being the only one who can't sleep, meanwhile everyone is drowning in their own sweet dream.
The silence in Sophie's bedroom was so quiet that the ticking of the clock feels so loud here. You get up from the bed really slow and careful as you didn't want  to disturb Cassandra's sleep, as she was a light sleeper. As you made my way out of the bedroom, you cast anxious glances at Cassandra, concerned that the door might creak loudly upon opening.
You turned your heels towards the backyard porch, then leaning your back against the fence. Your hands grabbed a cigarette and lighter from your pocket. As you took a drag, you sighed, your mind replaying the moment from two hours earlier. After revealing your cards, Ellie had turn aside her gaze, yet you couldn't shake the feeling that she was stealing glances at you every few minutes.
Okay, maybe you're really delusional.
"I thought I'm the only one who couldn't sleep?"
You fixed your position and looking around to find where the voice came from, an that's when you spotted Ellie from the house, pulling on her gray hoodie as she stepped to you. Did she just talking to you? Like, for the first time ever?
Jesus, 'No fucking way,'
You chuckled, "I guess my eyes weren't in the mood for sleep," you said. She joined you, resting her arms on the railing right beside you. "So," you said as you turned and tossed the cigarette into the trash bin below the porch, "What keeps you awake from sleeping? I mean, it's three in the morning and everyone else is asleep except us."
"I don't know," she shrugged her shoulders, and you tilted your head, "You don't know?"
"Yeah, I just… I don't even know what I'm doing before I realize it's already 3 AM. I guess I was thinking about something, getting lost in it, and then I forgot it once I realized I'm still awake," As she spoke, her smile broadened and she turned her head towards you, her gaze firmly fixed on yours.
You nodded in response. You couldn't look at her directly for fear of blushing, even as you sensed her gaze from the corner of your eye. Deep down in your mind, you found it hard to believe what had just happened. The girl you had a crush on since three months ago, the girl you always adored from afar because you were too shy and afraid, the girl you've been flirted on her TikTok post comment section are the same girl who just talking to you a few seconds ago.
The atmosphere turned really awkward when neither of you continued the conversation. The only sounds were from the insects on the ground and the occasional car passing by on the street. You humming, for at least the situation wouldn't be too awkward if you do that.. maybe.
Ellie opened her mouth, "How did you met Sophie?"
"Hm?" you glance at her and gasped the next second, "Oh, Sophie! I thought you were speaking some words," you fall silent, hummed, and let out a little chuckle from your lips, "I've known her since the first year; she was my first friend at school before she introduced me to Aimee, Cassandra, and Chloe. We've gotten along ever since… until today. And.. what about you?"
"Sophie has been my friend since childhood, we were on the same school when I was 7, her dad was my father's fishing buddy for years and we were on the same neighborhood. Now she's more like my.. older sister," she stopped, before pull herself away from the railing, "But whenever I'm with her, it feels as though I'm speaking to an old woman who lives for a long time. She told everything to me, the dos and don'ts, and even offers five minutes of advice whenever she thinks I need it!"
You groans between your laugh, "Really? No way, she did the same thing to me all the time! She's truly the mom, isn't she? Oh, you know what? One day I was scammed by someone claiming to sell tickets for my favorite singer's tour. I ended up losing about 200 bucks, they blocked my numbers and didn't say anything! And she—"
"Wait, 200?!" Ellie interrupted, her tone a mix of surprise and shock. You nodded and chuckled as you saw her mouth fall open. "That's… quite a lot," she added.
"I know! Jeez, I was so dumb at that time, and Sophie was the first person I told, and she really scolded me for an entire day. She keeps bringing it up in the middle of any conversation, as if I didn't hear her the first time," you paused for a moment, taking a breath before continuing, "She even said things like 'I told you so, I damn well told you!', 'If only you had been patient, you wouldn't have been scammed', and 'With that money, you could've bought your precious expensive book,' ugh, I wasn't born for those words!" you imitated Sophie's voice, laughing lightly as you did.
You both laughed, the conversation continues as you both found a lot common in each other's interests when you mentioned your favorite comic book. You swore she's the sweetest when she's talking, eyes always locked on you, the funniest jokes she tossed, it all raises your hopes too high. Two hours flew by, until you started feeling sleepy and decided to head back to the bedroom, but when you were already laying down, the sleepy instantly gone.
You were talking to yourself in whispers before you asleep, mind keep thinking about Ellie and there was no any signs to stop thinking about her. So many wishful thoughts and imagines if you were dating her. Yet, no matter how long you could keeping her in your mind, there's always some voices showed up in your head and saying such things like;
'You really never learned from your past,'
'There's so many girls out there who maybe caught her attention,'
'It'd seem so sad if you're the only one who fell to her and she's not.'
'Aren't you afraid if she end up with someone who's not you like how the last time you fell in love?'
And you really hate those voices, trying to block them all out without giving a single damn to it. Instead, you tried to believe that things will work out with Ellie, unlike the last time when you fell for Robin—the girl who started dating someone else the day after you confessed your feelings to her.
No, you're not going to end up the same like that. Not now, not with Ellie.
"What if she confesses her feelings to me?" you mumbled, biting your lower lip as you began giggling and buried your face in the pillow, "God, I'm so fucking delusional!" although you said that, you couldn't stop for imagining if she were tell you about her feelings, going on a date to somewhere, chilling at her house or yours, and discussing about every novel you both likes.
It was so.. cute, you thought. However, you didn't realize that you were projecting those images as hopes onto yourself and it'd lead you to breaking down if you weren't aware.
You push the pillow away from your face, shifting into a side-lying position. A smile remains ever-present on your lips. You breathe in and out slowly, then closed your eyes, it's literally five in the morning and you haven't sleep.
"Have a good sleep, Ellie,"
Ugh, you did not.
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Two months down the line. Returning home from Sophie's holiday house was quite late, a full day after everyone else had left. You had the option to ride with Cassandra or take up Ellie's offer, but you were waiting for your mom, who had promised to pick you up. She didn't show up for four hours, then she texted you that she would be a bit late, and you ended up waiting her until the next afternoon.
You've called her phone countless times, but she never answers. You can't turn to your dad for help either, as he's been in Greece for three months. And your brother? He would never waste his time just for drive ten hours from his place to Sophie's home and then take you to your apartment.
So, how did you managed to get home?
Ellie came back the next night after Sophie mentioned you to her. You were overwhelmed with guilt for having declined her offer to drive you home the day before, especially since she returned just to take you home, facing a five-hour drive. She knew you weren't really in a mood after waiting literally a night for your mom who texted you that she couldn't pick you up after you were already with Ellie. She knew that. That's why she made a stop at convenience store, bought a lot of foods and drinks before taking you to the closest beach for some relaxation.
You've been getting along with Ellie. Ever since the day she made sure you got home safely by driving you home, there hasn't been a day without texting, talking, and even meeting up with her. And indeed, for heaven's sake, she made you fall deeper for her, more than ever. The way she acts around you, the way she talked to you, the way she is paying her attention at you every time you tell her your story. She really keeps your hopes still high.
She always asks you to go out at least three or four nights a week, and you've never said no. After all, it's not a waste of time when the girl you have a crush on—the same one you always comment on her posts—is asking you out. Every time you went out with her, she was incredibly sweet, as if you were girlfriends. But sometimes, she'd leaving you too soon, she would be saying sorry because she had an emergency. And it wasn't just once. But you didn't mind at all since she still brought you out to any places.
Ellie would purchase everything for you; even when you babbled thoughtlessly, she would disappear for a bit and come back with an item you had mentioned in her hand. You have always warned her against purchasing such items without your consent-literally all the time, and although she agreed, she never heard your warning.
"I swear to God, Ellie. I just told you an hour ago to not buy me some things I babbled about!"
She smiled, "Oh.. really?" you scoffed, couldn't hide the smile from your lips, "You're smiling."
"Shut up, Williams!"
A couple weeks had gone by, you started to questioning yourself about what were you to her? Girlfriend? Or were you just trapped in situationship? The worse, you were only a friend to her. You couldn't find the answer. It seems like she might have the same feelings towards you. She made you flustered, made you felt like you were the luckiest person alive. On the other hand, she never mentioned what relationship you both are in right now. You couldn't even tell if you were deserve to feel hurt or not.
Despite everything, you know how to pretend you're fine when you're hurt, right..?
Now go back to the present, you found yourself resting your head on Ellie's shoulder, half-watching the netflix show on the TV. Instead of watching the show, you were busy on your own thoughts. Confused. Who are you to her? Just friends? Situationship? You knew it too well, it felt like you can call her as yours but in reality you were not.
"Everything's alright?" Ellie interrupted your thoughts as she spoke. You nodding your head in response, lied. And unfortunately you weren't good at hiding expressions. She can feel that you were far from alright.
"Are you sure?" she asked, paused the show. Then she pinched your cheeks, leaving you laughing and grabbing her wrists as you pleaded with her to stop, "You know, you can tell me if there's anything wrong. I'll help you," she added, her fingers stopped pinching your cheeks now.
You chuckled, "That's so nice of you, Williams. But trust me, nothing's wrong now."
You keep resting your head on her shoulder, your gaze wandering around her apartment. Three minutes later, you find yourself sinking back into your daydreams. About someday, when you both are older, these moments would be the things you always laugh about over the tea every morning while Ellie watching the news.
"It was so funny back then,"
"Yeah! Oh, remember when you drove me home but the you stopped at the beach!"
You huffed, realizing once more that it was all just a dream.
"Ellie," you called her name all of the sudden, with you playing with your fingers, "Yeah?"
"Do you ever... believe that if we were patient enough to wait someone we had a crush on, they'll coming to you?" you don't know, why the question was suddenly came out from your mouth.
She hummed at first, and laughed, "No.. I guess. Because, what if you were already waiting them patiently but apparently they weren't the one for you?"
You went silent, she tilted her head to you, "Why did you asked suddenly though? Did someone caught your attention for a while and you're waiting for them?" and you nods.
"Who?"
'It's you, dumbass.' you secretly rolled your eyes.
"I won't tell you," you sigh out, "I've been waiting them for these past 5 months, and for God's sake, she's too hard for me to reach!" you slammed your hands into your thighs, inviting her laugh.
"It's almost half of a year, and you still waiting?" you nods to her question, biting your lower lip and avoiding her gaze. You heard her letting out a heavy sigh, "What if they never come to you? As if their love were never gonna come either?"
You froze, losing all your words. Why was she asked you like she knew you were talking about her?
Thereafter her phone buzzed leading Ellie quickly flipped her phone like she doesn't want you to curious, "I'm going out for at least ten minutes, you don't mind?"
And who are you to said no and pleaded to stay here? You were her guest on her house, nothing more like that. In the end you answered okay, almost whispered.
You were spying her through the corner of your eye as she walked out onto the balcony and closed the door. You could see her from inside when she walked back and forth with a big grin on her face, occasionally laughing. You really wanted to know what was going on, what the conversation was about that made her laugh so freely. But you knew your boundaries; you weren't supposed to ask her personal questions.
At one time she talked too loud you could even hear it from where you sit, "You'll come back? You're kidding, right? I swear to God, Emma, I missed you so much!"
Wait, who's Emma?
Ellie looked so excited on conversation with someone she just called Emma. From what you've heard through friends, Ellie didn't have many friends, and they mentioned only Jesse, Dina, Aimee, Chloe, and Sophie when you first confessedyour feelings about Ellie to them. So.. who's Emma then?
What if she were Ellie's girlfriend? No, there's no fucking way. Five months ago your friends said she was single, so that.. can't be. You immediately get rid all your negative thoughts about the girl Ellie mentioned on her phone call.
Enough staring her too long and overthinking. You shrugged your shoulders, act like you didn't care at all, 'I shouldn't think about this.. No. Please, please, please, try to think how sweet Ellie when she's with me..'
You changed the show into the romance one, you cannot stop smiling, you dream up if those romance scenes you watched right now was you and Ellie. The thought from you think about when you were couldn't sleep at Sophie's holiday house came back, 'Will Ellie ever open up about her feelings for me?'
It was so dumb. Do you ever think like that? The answer is yes, but who cares?
Your phone buzzed, and as you glanced at the screen, a notification was displayed.
911 sophie
hiiiii babe let me tell u i'm at aimee's rn
You
helllooooo what r u doing w her?
911 sophie
aimee was about to inviting you to her house tonight, and the others too. but her phone was DEAD RN she's planning on making a whole fucking meal like.. for 6 people??!! anyway wya???? she told me to buy some foodstuff at supermarket but i'll be fucking bored if im alone since she cant go out she's too busy with her other food creation or idk whatever she called it sooooo do you want to accompany me say yes i'll pick you up RIGHT NOW
You chuckled as you saw her text. Aimee was definitely too focused on what's her doing right now. You could tell how bored Sophie was there.
You
does she invite ellie too? anw pick me up pleaseeee ms. torres;))) at ellie's house love u!
Your gaze went to Ellie's, seems like she already finished the call. It's been 4 hours since you got here, and maybe it's enough for today even though you haven't finished the show you're currently watching.
911 Sophie
yeah she invited ellie too why? huh you were at what??? ellie?? GIRL HOW
You
mmmm i'll tell u later ;p JUST PICK ME UP ALREADY
911 sophie
OH CMON okay i'll be there in 10 xo
You paused the TV show and rose from the couch, reaching for your sling bag on the floor. At the same time Ellie, had came back from the balcony, you could tell how good her mood is by her smile.
"Where are you going?" she asked, noticing that you had already slung your bag over your shoulder. She made her way over to you, her fingers were scratching her back neck.
"I… Uh… Sophie asked me to go out for buy some foodstuff.." you pointing your thumb to behind before falling silent for a moment. "Is… is it okay if I leave now?" you ask, feeling a wave of regret wash over you immediately after, cursing on yourself for even questioning why she wouldn't be okay with you leaving.
'God, I'm so weird!'
"Oh… Okay," Ellie glanced back before turning her head to stare at you, "I was about to leave as well. Where will she meet you? And maybe I can drive you—"
You cut her off, shaking your head, "Actually… she said she'll pick me up here in ten minutes." Ellie nodded in response, her mouth forming an 'O'. She made her steps into her bedroom after she smiled at you and came back with her wearing her green jacket.
Your other side was sooo curious. Where is she going? Why did she smile so happily after the call? And what made her so excited during the call earlier? Will she be with someone, or will she be alone? You don't know, and you want to know. You really want to know. Curiosity inside you feels like started to eat you up. You immediately shook your head, pushing away your curiosity. You started talking to yourself in a really low voice, as if you hadn't said anything, "I should stop doing that."
"Ellie, I…" you were staring at her as she hummed, her gaze was met yours, "I think I'm gonna wait on the front porch." You were about to make your way to the front door, but her hand grabbing your wrist stopped you. "Ellie?"
Your eyes locked on hers; her expression was different from a minute ago. It was... guilty? Sad? You couldn't even tell. What's going on now? Was this related to her call minutes ago?
"I just... want to say sorry,"
You tilted your head. Seriously, what's going on?
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"So, did you mean she was saying sorry to you without explain everything?"
Now, you were in Aimee's kitchen with Sophie, picking up the conversation that had been put on hold hours earlier. Aimee was in her bathroom, and here it's only you and Sophie whereas the rest on the dining room. You did tell her everything what happened today, once you asked her who's Emma, but Sophie wasn't sure if she know that girl because Ellie never told her about Emma. You already asked Aimee too, and all she said was, "I think I've heard that name.. I don't know." they literally left you all disappointed.
"I was about to ask her why she was apologizing to me, but I couldn't because you came to pick me up," you said, rolling your eyes at Sophie, which was followed by laughter from both of you.
"Whoa, so it was my fault, young lady?" her tone was changed along with the tip of her lips moved down shaping like upside-down 'U', "Maybe she did something wrong and you didn't notice it. Don't take this seriously because I'm just trying to speculate."
You scoffed at Sophie, "I don't know, Sophie. As far as I remember, she didn't do anything wrong that would make me mad or upset," you said, turning your shoulders down and positioning the knife between the apple slices you had cut earlier.
"Try to ask later, babe. I'm pretty sure she'll tell you later," Sophie placed her hand on your shoulder, before she moved to your left side. You gave her a disagreement gesture, huffed so loudly, made her expression was changed in seconds.
"She haven't talk to me since she arrived here, Soph," head down as you resting your hands to the counter surface, "What?"
You huffed once again. Indeed, Ellie hadn't spoken to you or even glanced your way since she arrived. It was as if you had done something to pissed her off, but you hadn't. She didn't text or call you like she always did after you left her apartment, the last message was when you told her you were already at her house. You were too desperate to find an answer or even to asking her. She seemed like a different person, completely changed from when she last spoke to you hours ago.
You both went back to dining room, sitting right next to each other while Ellie was sitting in front of you. She didn't give you a single glance, as if you weren't there. It's not like what she did when the night at Sophie's holiday house back then. She checked her phone every 10 minutes like she's waiting something important.
Your eyes were never left her gestures during the dinner. Even when your friends tried to talk to you, you just answered them briefly because you weren't in the mood to talk. Twenty minutes later, Ellie excuses herself and leaves everyone else, including you. She takes her steps to the kitchen. You see her hiding her smile by biting her lip.
Does she even realize you're here?
"Is everything okay?" asked Chloe, sitting next to you. "You seem a bit off, and I noticed Ellie haven't been talking to you either. Is there something wrong between you two?" she moved her chair so she can move closer to you.
"We're fine," you claim, but it's not entirely true. You might be pretending, yet you're actually okay with Ellie since you've never argued before. Chloe grunts, sensing the dishonesty in your words.
"I know you're lying. C'mon, you can be honest with—"
You shake your head, you don't want this conversation to continue too far. Enough for tonight. "We're really fine, Chloe. Believe me."
Chloe nods, she's back to her position, "Okay then. But still, tell me—no, I mean, please tell us if something's wrong with you two, we can help."
You excused yourself to the bathroom, but Ellie's voice in the kitchen halted your steps. You never realized what are you doing in front of the bathroom door, until you found yourself leaning on the wall right next to the kitchen where you heard her voice. She sounded so happy, laughs between her words, saying jokes that she had already told you.
The ache in your heart was undeniable. Who could she be talking to on the phone? Emma, perhaps?
You bite your lower lip, your hands wiping away the tears that threaten to fall from your eyes. You enter the bathroom and sit on the toilet, head bowed.
"Why does it hurt so much? I'm just her friend, right?"
Right, you had no right to be jealous or hurt when Ellie never thought about you being her girlfriend even though she treated you like one.
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The next day, neither Ellie nor you started the conversation on messages like you two always did every morning. It felt so empty to you as you woke up and didn't find any signs of Ellie texting you.
You did your morning routine as usual without giggles and smiles. Everything went too quiet. You didn't mumbled or even talking to voice notes that you'e always sent to Ellie.
As night fell, time passed quietly. You didn't venture out, choosing instead to isolate yourself from the world, turned on the do not disturb mode on your phone even though Ellie hadn't sent any messages. The conversation remained where it was left off yesterday morning.
You couldn't resist the urge to text her, yet it all seemed no use when you deleted every word you were about to send.
You walked back and forth in your bedroom, hand holding the phone as your fingers scrolling through TikTok. None of the videos you watched, all you did was scroll and scroll, not really in a mood though but you were bored. Really bored.
Fingers stopped as you saw the profile picture, recognizing it too well, more than your own profile picture. It wasn't a video, but photos with a song called 'The Perfect Pair'. You knew who the figure in the photo was: auburn hair, sitting in the driver's seat, wearing the same jacket you saw yesterday, and the gray baseball cap she always wears.
Your eyes caught the other figure: long wavy ginger hair, sitting in the passenger seat, her hand holding the person you recognized before. God, your heart was beating faster than you could pant.
Slowly you sit on the floor, leaning onto your side bed.
You saw the caption, 'Soft launch' with some hashtag she always put in there. And the user she tagged, @/user3291emms.
That was the time you felt like something crashed your heart and broke into hundreds pieces. You know if you were too curious, you'll get the consequences. You opened the comment section, there was she commented on her own post, 'Welcome back to Boston, sweetheart.'
You feel like you're the most foolish girl who ever lived. Suddenly, you remember something that you had forgotten when you had a conversation face to face with Chloe.
"I heard from Dina, Ellie had been talking to someone for a while, the girl named Emma or something."
You didn't listen to Chloe that day because you were too busy adoring Ellie, who was playing her guitar far from you. You cursed yourself, mind repeating all those moments you always thought it meant nothing to you and her. All those moments became signs that Ellie wasn't the one.
The moment when she excused herself in the middle of UNO games, the moment when she always left too soon after she took you out, the moment when she was on the call on the balcony and she got too excited. The moment she was about to go, she was going to pick up Emma from the airport. And when she left the dinner party earlier than others, she was going on a date with Emma.
You were crying so hard, you put your phone right beside you while you buried your face between your arms.
"How could I not see the signs?" you spoke between your tears.
The voices in your head were right; you never learned anything from the past. Now, the voices were telling you why did you always ignore the signs. Because you were too busy loving someone, which led you to forget the worst-case scenario if they weren't loving you as you did to them.
Maybe you'll finally learn your lesson.
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You sit there alone on the bench, at the park that Ellie always used to take you. Eyes never leaving two figures from afar, they seemed having fun on their own. Ellie hugging Emma tightly, giving her a lot of kisses while laughing at something. Thoughts of imagining if Emma were you came, which immediately you push away.
Ellie never texted you again or called you, or even talking to you, and you were trying to get used to it. Every single day, you tried to resist the urge to check the messages that had started to be abandoned.
You smiled slightly, you stood and picking up your bag, ready to leaving the park soon. Taking a small step into the exit.
You didn't know, Ellie noticed your existence right after she's done hugging Emma. Her eyes locked on your gestures, she didn't move even for an inch. As you get up from the bench, she did the same thing like she was about to take her step to you.
Oh, she did it anyway. Your wallet dropped without your knowledge. Ellie told Emma to wait for a minute and hurried over to you. She picked up your wallet and noticed the Polaroid of you and her from when she took you to the beach before. Something stirred in her chest as she wondered why you still held onto the Polaroid despite her having hurt you by avoiding you like a completely stranger.
"Hey, your wallet dropped," she tapped your shoulder twice, before you turned around.
You were surprised, Ellie was right standing in front of you. After all these months of being a stranger to each other, she showed up suddenly. You cleared your throat, took the wallet immediately, and put it in your bag. "Thanks," you said.
Everything went quiet again between you two, none of you were talking or leaving.
You felt like the goodbye was screaming in the silence. You seeing the visions of the past, maybe you just got her longing glances while Emma got her rings. You huffed, doesn't know if this was the last time you'd see her or not.
"Ellie," her smile disappeared as you called her name.
"Is it okay if I tell you that I still love you even though we haven't talk since Emma came to Boston? I'm sorry, Ellie. But I couldn't bear my feelings," you confessed to her, all those words just out from your mouth.
With furrowed eyebrows, she averted her gaze before fixing it on yours. "And would it be too late if I told you that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for these past few months, even after avoiding you? God, I wish I could have told you sooner."
Your eyes widened. Just before you could say something, she left, leaving you all alone with her words lingering in your mind until God knows when.
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a/n: i made this because i just found out that the girl that i had a crush on for months already have a girlfriend <3 (i've been crying nonstop) ANYWAY big thanks to taylor swift for the names <33333
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sunlightmurdock · 5 months
Text
this is your psa to just be a kind person and respect other people tysm
okay so after being subposted about a lot, I just wanted to clear some things up on my end because this was not random and I literally refuse to be made the villain here.
About a month ago, I was sent an anon about some similarities between my fic Blow by Blow and another creator’s series of drabbles. I messaged this creator calmly and we had a really nice conversation where we both agreed that lines get blurred sometimes and it’s easy to forget if you were potentially inspired by another fic you had read a while ago.
So, they had read Blow by Blow and still followed me at this point. But, they acknowledged the similarities and apologised. I was more than happy to continue with my life bc who cares.
Then, I received another anon about the same creator but about similarities between another of their series of drabbles and my fic Trouble in Paradise. I took a look for myself, and it was astounding. Upset, I blocked them. After a really upsetting day yesterday, I published that anon. I have since taken it down because exposing their name didn’t feel like the right thing to do at that point…
But, after they made a series of subposts last night claiming to have never heard of me or read any of my works, I’ve had enough to be honest. I have screenshots of this person in the likes of that fic. Even if they haven’t read the whole thing, they posted two chapters to their drabble Masterlist that were strikingly similar to chapter 1 of Trouble in Paradise, which they have liked and read. One of those chapters has since been deleted (I can only imagine why).
I reached out to them this morning explaining the situation and giving them an opportunity to talk to me, but they decided to block me instead, so here are:
similarities from the not stolen fic from a creator who has never heard of me or this work, theirs highlighted in purple while the original work (mine) is highlighted in pink. If you’ve read trouble in paradise, you may also spot some more underlying similarities. sorry in advance for the long post 🙄
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so the premise of their drabble plays out exactly like the second half of Trouble in Paradise 0.1. reader is wearing the exact same thing. male mc is a stranger to the island, who on his first day has found someone exciting, happy and much younger. description of the bedroom is also looking eerily similar… they are both bartenders, who after a shift drive the male mc back to their place.
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So in this realm, we can see that the dialogue is not only the exact same but once again, the reader is wearing the exact same thing and performing the same actions.
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and here we have their Drabble ending the exact same way my chapter does, with the dialogue being nearly word for word the same.
I am not claiming to own the silly girl on an island trope, but after specifically speaking to this creator before about another one of my fics which had wayyyy too many similarities of theirs to be a coincidence, and them apologising, I thought we were beyond this. This creator then claimed to have never heard of me or my work.
I have screenshots of them in the likes of this fic, I know that they read at least the beginning, which is where the similarities start and end as far as I’m aware. Up until I blocked them, they had followed me for 11 months. This is the second time I have had an issue with them, after handling the first privately.
It’s really upsetting 1. not only to have had the premise of my stories rewritten by someone else but 2. for them to pretend that they have never heard of me when we have had conversations, and when I have screenshots of them interacting with my fics.
@devinedoll not really cool
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kneelingshadowsalome · 10 months
Note
OK, I know you just re-opened ur asks (but please take a break if you need it!!) But the thought of Girl dad König has plagued my mind ever since that one post.
He's super protective. He's one of those "you're not dating until you're 35" or "I know how boys are like. They only want you for one thing," dads 🙄.
Any boy his daughter manages to bring around will only be threatened. König will accidentally drop one of the largest knives from his collection right in front of her boyfriend and be like "oops🙂".
Speaking of knives, all of his weapons will be stored away once his daughter is born. He doesn't want to risk her finding them and hurting herself.
Gosh. Girl dad!König is every fuckboy’s nightmare!
Manages to chase away even the good guys, every boy his daughter braves to bring home is a no-go for him. A bunch of losers and wankers, all of them, and after his pretty girl! Psh.
You could be kinder than Tom Hiddleston and you still wouldn’t be considered worthy of dating König’s daughter. Every candidate is sent home with their tail between their legs after an awkward, cold family dinner and a bunch of questions that feel like an interview. Or an interrogation... You desperately try to treat these boys with some level of respect, curiosity and warmth – to be honest they appear far more gentle and emotionally available than, ahem, certain someone you dated back in the day when he was not yet a Colonel.
And the father-daughter relationship is fucked up in more ways than one, because König tries to fix his emotional issues and the fact that he’s away most of the time by getting his daughter anything she needs. She wants to try ballet when she’s six? She gets the cutest pink princess tutu skirt and pointe shoes money can buy. Oh, now she’s into horseback riding? Suddenly she has private lessons with the best teacher in town, dons 500 e leather boots, a nice little riding crop and a test winner helmet + gets anything else she can dream of when tending to the horses. (You had to actively stop König from buying her a horse when she was 10)
Cello classes, gaming PC’s, downhill ski equipment, expensive yoga retreats – daddy's girl gets it all because König has to spoil her to bits. Not that he actively tries to carve out a brat of her by this princess treatment: he just wants his girl to have access to anything she wants. His Vögelchen is so talented in everything she picks up!
König shows pics of his daughter to his colleagues: look, she learned to swim when they were on vacation in Maldives! And look, here she won the local stable’s jumping competition, isn't she amazing? Now she’s into archery, and has her own recurve bow, but lately she’s started to get interested in boys, and you know what that means… Curfews, screen time and more chores! And NO BOYS.
She’s “only” 19, and comes home drunk once, brought by some young clown who, in König’s mind, tries to evade responsibility by giving him a sob story about how he only wanted to bring his daughter home because he was worried about her and well, actually, he’s in love with her… She’s a good girl and he wants to take care of her, he really appreciates her and blablabla, König is not impressed. That boy gets himself an earful as a reward, he's lucky König doesn’t slam a knife on the hood of that car.
(....No one has the courage to tell dad König that her daughter likes to smoke weed with the bad boys and dates some older biker guy from big city :”)
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butchbarneygumble · 2 months
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Imagine how I must feel as one of the only fans of Mighty Magiswords. You know. A headcanons-and-fanfic kind of fan. I even cosplayed Prohyas once.
Of course, it's nothing compared to what the actual victims went through... I'm fine. But it still felt like a part of my identity has been permanently soured. I don't want to seem like I somehow have it worse, that's not my intention. Nothing bad happened to me personally. I'm only posting my own side of how I deal with the situation, to get some closure myself and show solidarity with the victims.
I don't admire him anymore, and that's putting it lightly.
Full story under cut. Content warning for non-graphic discussion of csa.
The news came to me from my ex-but-still-friend. He told me privately, out of nowhere, just dropped it on me. Like, "Hey, sorry to tell you, but the guy you like got arrested for csa". However, I am glad he told me rather than me having to find out on my own.
The news hit me, and I felt nothing in my body. I usually would get this painful fight-or-flight all through my body whenever I read something that upset me, something I've been training myself to get better with. But right now? I just felt like... "huh. That happened." It helped a lot that Magiswords wasn't my fixation of the moment. And like... it's been like I've been slipping away from it. Like I didn't need it anymore.
More and more people were talking about him, and it wasn't positive. Who? Kyle.
I talked to him. Personally, like many people did. He never acted weird to me. I admired him. I loved his art, sent him physical fanart, all that stuff. I knew more than one person said he was not trustworthy but hey, he made a show that saved my life, so it was a constant struggle between feeling like I had to pick sides. I was going through hell by virtue of my dad being terminally sick and needing constant care, so I was gonna ignore the red flags and enjoy my silly sword show that brought me such joy.
Even if as time went on it started get harder and harder.
But you know what a certain depressed horse show said? When you're wearing rose coloured glasses, red flags just look like flags.
I now think dodged a bullet.
What emotions do I feel? Betrayal. Anger. Disgust. Disappointment.
The irony about it all. The sheer painful irony of blacklisting somebody for *drawings*, and then going behind everybody's back to actually hoard *actual* csa, and revenge porn, and all sorts of nasty stuff. For the record: there is nothing wrong with being put off or disgusted by specific sorts of drawings. But the irony here is what's most painful to me. I do not like people using this as a "gotcha" for either side of this tired argument. It's disrespectful to the actual victims.
People say I can easily seperate art from the artist if I want to but... right now I don't think I want to. He's in every pore of its identity. I do not want to talk or think about Magiswords right now, and I don't know if I ever will again.
It meant so much to me. Prohyas felt like Me. Being a goofy capable adult who doesn't stop collecting things he likes just cuz he's an adult. I thought I was trans for a while and the euphoria of relating to Prohyas helped that. Then he got lowkey confirmed nonbinary and I was over the moon.
It was good. Emphasis on "was".
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And to the man himself I have one thing to say: you're another one in a long history of cartoon artists who end up being unsavoury, slimy people, taking advantage of young people, especially girls, in the animation industry. Not something to be proud of. I know we talked and you seemed perfectly okay to me, personally. All I can think is thank god it never went beyond casual chats.
I guess I can finally say I never liked the joke about Vambre not liking pants. Sure, sensory issues exist, but I doubt that was the intention of the design. I have deleted my sideblog where I chronicled ooc screencaps of the show and deleted my little spotify playlist of songs that reminded me of the show. I don't want to finish my longfic where Prohyas and Flonk fell in love anymore. I can't even change it into ocs because it's just so ingrained in the show's lore. So yeah, there's that.
I'll be fine. When the news hit I took it surprisingly well. I was going to an Alestorm concert and it was the most fun I had in ages. So yeah, I've got Christopher Bowes and His Plate of Beans to fill the void of comedy music. Was fixating on Simpsons already so there's that in terms of cartoons. I'm fine.
All I can say is my heart goes out to all the victims, and I'm deeply sorry I didn't see you sooner. I hope you can heal and have some semblance of closure now that he's gotten arrested. My heart goes out to all of you and again, I am so so sorry. I wish you all the love and healing.
48 notes · View notes
Note
AITA for writing a paragraph on how I want to drop my friends?
(15F for ref, everyone in here is also F and around the same age)
In 2022, I returned from a six-week camp session with friends I only see once a year (pretty shitty experience ngl, but I still had fun), A couple days later, they accused me of stealing this girl's shirt since I was the last one to wear it. I told her I didn't and I wouldn't. I had a similar steal it because. They proceed to accuse me, so to get out my feelings I write this lengthy paragraph in my notes app expressing my thoughts and what I don't like about the group. This never gets sent out, and we stay friends.
In 2023, they went to camp again (for the last eligible year so it was very special to them), but I stayed home due to pre-existing commitments. This was also the time when the notes app trend was going on, a.k .a. where people would post their notes app and all the antics they wrote. I also posted a video like this, and on the sixth slide, I put the paragraph that I wrote in 2022 (it said 2022 at the top). They didn't immediately see this because they weren't allowed to have their phones, but I private the video before they got back due to a mental health issue I had accidentally aired out. At this time, I saw nothing wrong with the paragraph being included because all the issues had blown over.
A couple months later, I un-privated the video because YOLO and the group found it and immediately got hated on so hard for the video. They post pictures of me to social media stories write paragraphs about how awful of a person I am, create lies about me, and comment on all of my Tiktok posts where I talk about the issue, despite me being vague.
I don't know where I stand in this issue because yeah, I didn't go to the trip this year, and the paragraph was admittedly rude, but they didn't even give me a chance to explain, and getting body shamed on a private Snapchat story when they know I had an ED isn't something i think I deserve, but I need outsider perspective.
The paragraph for reference:
I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. The whole entire time I was at camp I felt isolated because I was not as involved and as social with the boys as you guys were/are, and that might not be your fault, but you guys have no care in that being the only thing you discuss on this group chat. Every time I text about something else, it always gets pushed to the side and now you are accusing me of stealing (name)’s top. I agree, I was the last on to wear it, but distinctly remember throwing it back into (name)'s trunk. I am sorry it did not make the trip back home, but it is not my fault. I don’t want your slutty top anyways, I only borrowed it because my ebb to street wasn’t going to work. I have done so much for you guys, like letting everyone borrow my clothes, giving away my lululemon, and while some of my pieces were stolen, I am not pointing fingers at random people because I have control of my feelings. So many words have been wasted protecting the reputation of Cabin 10 from others who think you guys are attention-seeking whores (you want names? It’s the whole fucking camp), and everyone looked at me in pity when I cried into my hands because I was so sad. I have heard you guys talk shit about me in front of my face (*giggling and whispering* Are you going to try out for the play? No that’s weird. Both heads turn towards me, and laughter erupts out of the two mouths. You know who you are), and you guys have talked shit about each other to me, so I can only imagine what has been said about me. I felt ashamed about my passions, the only personality trait you guys addressed was that I was so mean and I was smart (you only revealed the latter on in private, the former was told to everyone). I am done feeling horrible about myself because you guys are so wrapped up in what every (camp) boy thinks of you, so I am cutting contact. You have ruined my camp experience to the point where I am not coming back.
What are these acronyms?
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agendabymooner · 1 year
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london boy ! lando n. x ofc (alessandro sister!writer!ofc)
"they say 'home is where the heart is' but god i love the english."
summary: nicola grazia 'cola' alessandro just moved to britain after tilly wolff's newly opened publishing company hired her as an editor and writer, so what's a better way to get to know your new home than to tour the city with lando norris? OR everyone thinks that the mclaren driver is seeing someone... and he proved to everyone that he is- he just wouldn't show her face.
content warning: based on characters from the rush series (see masterlist), fluff, ion even know if lando's english, use of explicit language, "private but not secret" kind of relationship, colabebe is a private account, daniel ricciardo being a good brother-in-law?? events have taken place post-wedding series.
note: i have a different part already made for this and i made that shit first before the actual introduction to the characters/storyline 😭 my brain is in shambles rn sorry guys. cheers xx
masterlist
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liked by landonorris, mateoales, loricciardo
landonorris put them damn dogs away dawg 😩🐶 liked by colabebe
colabebe ur the only one i can hear bitching about it 🤭
landonorris do you have one more room for a person to spoil loricciardo nora_alessandro jacquelinalessandro
mateoales no gtfo no british parasites allowed
danielricciardo have a brother-in-law who feeds off your chanel addiction ✅ liked by colabebe
colabebe have a sister-in-law who keeps an eye on your pregnant wife whenever you're away ✅
danielricciardo i agree ✅
hellonsite you should donate some for charity 🙌
colabebe didn't u call me poor back in elementary for my tattered shoes?
user1 girl bffr 💀
nora_alessandro and now you're few steps away from buying your own chanel bag tesoro 🥰 liked by colabebe
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[translation: extremely grateful for the opportunity that was given to me by @wolffpublishing, and for that reason, i will continue to thrive in my journey as an editor and author. thank you so much! hello united kingdom!]
tagged wolffpublishing
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, alex_albon
danielricciardo LETS GOOOOO !!!!! liked by colabebe
tillywolff welcome to the team nicola! ❤️ liked by colabebe
colabebe thank you so so so much tils!
landonorris i cant wait to play muse for you shawty 😭 liked by colabebe
colabebe bold of u to assume i'm not writing about alex_albon
alex_albon yeah i appreciate that and all but isn't that lando's youtube silver plaque on your shelf?
colabebe 👀
landonorris SO YOU WERE JUST SEDUCING ME SO YOU CAN TAKE THAT PLAQUE??? i was so convinced you didn't have ur eyes on it yet here i am 😐
mateoales disgusting comment by lando aside, i think you can sell that plaque at a pawn shop
landonorris STOP ENCOURAGING HER TEO
landonorris you can keep that plaque ig 🤠 liked and pinned by colabebe
colabebe hehehe <3
landonorris its like i never win against any of you alessandros
loricciardo don't lie- you always get your way with me
landonorris so does she???
loricciardo she's my sister mate 🧐
georgerussell63 ur sister sent some wine in ur new flat. congrats! liked by colabebe
colabebe do you think u and her can send another one bc me and lando emptied it already 🙂
georgerussell63 i'm just a boyfriend, not jesus.
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colabebe posted a story !!!
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liked by carlossainzjr, georgerussell63, loricciardo
user1 your plaque and YOUR WHAT? 😟😳
landonorris did i stutter?
user2 i didnt know u have rizz like that 😱 liked by landonorris
georgerussell63 baffled. did you seriously just bring her in your office instead of actually touring london??? smh norris
landonorris absolutely not 😠 she went paddington shopping and to the places that had the sorting hat and everything 😤 i dont like these accusations george william russell
user3 oh no, no-rizz used the full name RUN PRINCE GEORGE🏃‍♀️
carlossainzjr i hate that 👌 thing lando so much liked by landonorris
landonorris sorry babe
carlossainzjr its okay babe
user4 arent we all worried the drivers know who she is?
user5 we? whos we? i like the chaos in the comments idk why u crying about it 🥰
danielricciardo i hope you can still attend the family dinner after calling her a thief 😇
landonorris she likes me so much she wouldn't dare uninvite me
user6 what if lando's dating one of daniel's in-law? 🤔
user7 YES QUEEN BE DELULU I LIKE THAT 🤤
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311 notes · View notes
hellfire--cult · 1 year
Text
Baring Teeth {Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader} - Ch. 8
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Edit of Eddie: pitifulbaby
Chapters: Masterlist (Go here to see list of chapters, plotline and general warnings.)
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Non-Traditional Omegaverse, Slow burn, Modern!AU, Mechanic!Eddie
⚠️This chapter contains: billy hargrove x reader, smut, oral sex (f receiving), physical pain, hospital mention, dirty talking
wc: 5.4k
Crossposted on: Wattpad & AO3
A/N: I entered with a bang today. Sorry it took so long! I had a lot of work going on but I finally managed to write a few things! Don't forget to go to my profile's masterlist to see my other works!
Anyways, Enjoy! ❤️ And don't forget to always support me by hitting the reblog button or leave a comment!
<- Prev. chapter - Next chapter ->
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Chapter 8
“Shit… Shit, shit, shit!” He groaned in pain, the bindings on his wrists and ankles onto the hospital bed not helping with his writhing. 
He felt as if he were engulfed in flames, as if there was lava all around him, his body ablaze in a red crimson color, and his belly felt a pressure that he never felt before. He didn’t know what was going on. He was at his home, playing his guitar, and then he just felt feverish.
Why was he in the hospital? Wait, it’s not even a hospital, it looks like a private room of some sort, but he couldn’t hear anyone outside. His sight finally focused and he looked to his side, seeing Wayne getting up from his seat with a pained frown in his face, rushing towards his nephew.
“Why am I here Wayne?” 
“They’re specialists in this Eddie, but you’ll be okay son, I promise I will keep you safe.”
A doctor, or that’s what Eddie thought he was because of the white robe, entered the room. He was sort of bald, dark hair, beard and had glasses on, but another shot of pain surged in his belly and he tugged onto the restraints of his wrists. He felt a warm hand press on his forehead to push him back down to the pillow and he saw Wayne’s pained expression looking down on him.
“I will keep you safe.”
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Eddie’s eyes shot open, sweat all over his body as heavy breaths left his mouth. He looked over at his clock, signaling 2 AM, sharp. He groaned, sitting up on his bed and that’s when he felt the strong migraine that started to develop. His hand shot towards his head, and he cursed under his breath, feeling warmth expanding towards his chest.
He picked up his phone and immediately opened instagram. Numerous accounts of random girls popped on his profile and his stories, and he started watching them one by one. One posted 2 hours ago, the other 3 hours ago, the next one posted a story 6 hours ago, and then he finally came across Tara. Posted herself drinking at a club 21 minutes ago. 
He winced as he looked up to the ceiling, he knew that the ache was not leaving him unless he did this. He looked back down towards his phone and sent a text to the girl.
‘PIck you up in 20?’ 
Straight forward, no pleasantries, he didn’t care for them really. These women, he just had them for these kinds of cases, not that they knew about it, and the sex was always mediocre, but it helped. It was always empty, thrusting into a hole, no excitement to it, no real attraction except the one they had for him.
He sighed as he waited for the response. He felt another sting in the side of his head as well as if a punch was directed into his belly. 
“Son of a fucking bitch.” He grabbed the ponytail in his nightstand, putting his hair in a bun. Always conditioned to this part of him that wanted to take over his body. Always feeling weak thanks to all the medication he has to take. Always feeling like an animal because of these things he does to women who just want to have a good time.
And he was never satisfied.
But they all had to do. They just simply had to do it for now.
His phone made a ‘Ting’ sound and he looked down on it.
‘Always rdy 4 u bby ;)’
Eddie rolled his eyes, getting up from his bed to get dressed with a groan. It’s just a hole, just a helper, that’s all he thinks about. That’s all it is. When was the last time he had an enjoyable time with someone else? His pleasure was never equal to his partner’s, so he often wondered if he will always be the problem of his demise.
For now, that’s what it seems like.
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You fixed your skirt as you took a deep breath in, clearing your throat before going into the meeting room where your client was alongside your boss and other editors.
Be professional. It’s your workplace. Behave.
You opened the door to find your Boss, Liana, sitting at the very end of the table. On her right was a man in a suit, then you found your co-editor in this article, Tony, and then on Liana’s left side was Billy Hargrove, smiling at you, no, smirking at you with mischief in his eyes as the chattering of the room dimmed down as you entered.
Your belly filled with knots as you locked eyes with him, clearing your throat slightly as you noticed that the only available seat was right next to him. 
“Good morning.” You called out and Liana beamed up at you, calling out your name. You had an exceptional relationship with your boss, it was far from friendship, but the trust was there as well as confidentiality. She had trusted you with small projects, then bigger ones, and now this would be the second huge project you would do for the magazine, but this time it is only you. Last project you shared it with Robin, when she actually put a little bit of effort.
But Robin took this job because it paid, not because it was her long term dream, and you understood that. You actually studied Fashion and made your way to get an Editor degree. Your passion stood here, in the background of the flashes of cameras and interviews. You preferred pen and paper, to voice out the new trends to long term designers, or show off new ones to the world. Entrepreneurs, even people you had scouted on TikTok and Instagram.
You wanted to shove the great chain industries away, for fresh material. Balenciaga, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, that’s just what they are. Names. Fashion wise it was too old, too bland, too antique. And then, on TikTok, small businesses of high fashion popped up, people that made these dresses and clothes out of pure love and ambition. You wanted that in the new world, in the new generation. 
But for now, you have to stick to big companies, and hope that next project you will be able to talk Liana into bringing a new designer for the photoshoots.
“Please, take a seat! We are discussing our meetings with our next clients.” You walked around the table, taking a seat next to Billy, who shot you a smile. Liana interrupted again in order to present you to Billy, thinking you two haven’t met before. You were about to correct her that you actually met Billy before by coincidence, but Billy just grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on your knuckles, making your cheeks redden slightly at the gesture.
“Beautiful name. Cannot be happier that a woman like yourself will be guiding this project.” He says into your hand, his warm breath hitting your skin which sends goosebumps all over your body and you could only stare at his blue eyes. Liana chuckled under her breath and that made you snap out, pushing the butterflies in your belly aside, taking your hand away from him.
“Nice meeting you too, Mr. Hargrove. And thank you for that flattery.” You finish saying as formal as possible, sitting down right next to him, putting your suitcase on top of the table. Liana sat down again with a content sigh as you fished your papers out of the leathery case.
“Okay, so, we know Curtis Delore wants more details on these designs, wanting to change it a bit to put on you Mr. Hargrove. He wants to buy the blueprints on these–”
“Actually…” You cut Liana off and your boss already knew you went a step ahead, a smile brooding on her red lips. Liana can always trust your diligent work, and she could see the passion you have for this industry and what it could be. So, she let you continue. “I took the time to contact Millie, and I may have sent her a copy of this article so that she could pass it onto her boss.”
“I already love the mention of Millie.” Liana says and Billy and his manager only looked with confused faces to one another, to then go back at you.
“I got a call this morning from Kim Jones himself that he wants to purchase the blueprint for the next collection and he is also very interested in the model himself for the campaign.” You say with a smirk on your face and Liana simply cheered in excitement. That meant that the design is now valued almost ten times than what it was going to be originally purchased at. Billy was still confused and looked at his manager, Ralph, who cleared his throat to catch both of your attention.
“Excuse me Ladies, who is Kim Jones?” He asked and you slid one of your papers towards Billy and then one towards Ralph. His eyes bulged out of their sockets as he looked up at Billy, who almost had the same expression in his face. 
“You got me to model for Dior? Dior Homme?” Billy slowly turned his head to look at you and you still had the snicker in the inside of your cheek, giving him a shrug.
“It’s a possibility, if you do desire to take it that is.” Billy looked at his manager, then smiled widely, throwing himself back on his chair, running his hands through his hair out of pure happiness. In his career, the only big gig he got was the Chanel advertisement, clothes wise, he didn’t get high couture brands to pick him as their face or body. 
But, the Chief Designer of Dior Homme was actually interested in him. 
He felt his chest almost exploding as he looked at the table and saw the three people all around him chatting excitedly. They were talking about numbers, and possibilities but Billy’s eyes could only look at you. How your mouth moved, how your eyes sparkled with ambition and he couldn’t help but drown in the sound of your voice.
And oh, how he wants to fuck you into his mattress for what you just did for him.
He really wants to show you how grateful he is. How happy you just made him by giving him an opportunity like this, despite him trying to make a move on you. You didn’t take it as offensive, and you didn’t push him away completely because of it either, you didn’t butcher his opportunity to show him a lesson, but you even gave him a bigger chance. 
And he really wants to make it up to you.
Once the percentage of the gainings were talked about and how Billy’s patronage with Dior would give a small percent to the company, the meeting finally ended. 
“Ralph, may I speak with you for a second? It’s just a legal matter.” Liana says with a smile as she guides Ralph to her office. You sighed in contentment, your insides up in flames at how well everything went as you turned into the hall to go to the elevators. You cannot wait to tell Robin about this, or maybe you shouldn’t. You don’t want to rub this in her face, because this would have given her a lot of commission if she were still in the team.
Maybe you can tell her as if it’s not a big deal, or just simply not tell her anything at all. But you needed to tell someone, because this was a big step, and you couldn’t– 
Your thoughts were completely cut off as you felt a hand grip onto your bicep, guiding you into a storage room that was near the hallway you were crossing. Your eyes widened in the darkness, brazing onto your suitcase to swing it, when the lights turned on above you. You turned around to find blue eyes staring down at you with an intensity that was making your knees grow weak. 
The sound of a lock was heard in the room as you took a step away from the man. He was a model, yes, but what if he was a psychopath? You didn’t know the guy, and now he has you locked up in a storage room in the building where you work. 
“Um, Mr. Hargrove–” He put his hands up for you to stay silent as he looked at you, a smile drawing on his lips which was making the butterflies in your stomach flutter all around.
“Billy…” He reminded you and you blinked while staring at him, feeling your throat going dry as you saw how his eyes moved around as he tried to find the words to say. Was he nervous? “I wanted to thank you. I mean, apart from Ralph, no one ever put that much faith in me, or my work before.”
You were stunned. He was actually grateful for what you did, and that made your chest go warm at his actions. It saddened you slightly that no one paid attention to him before, because Billy was beautiful, and sexy when he had to be. He has multiple faces that people can possibly use, and you were happy to be the one to introduce him to that chain of possibilities. 
“It’s my job Billy… But I am glad this can help you out now, and in the future.” He gave you a nod as you kept smiling at him but that smile slowly lowered as he took one step closer, tentatively. His hands reached for your suitcase, taking it from your hands to put it on the floor. Your eyes widened and your throat went dry as he looked down on you. 
His eyes were lustful, but the tint of red on his cheeks told you that he was excited. The gaze he was looking at you with was enough to make your core clench, and your belly burn with intensity as he took another step towards you. You didn’t notice that you were taking your own steps back, not until you felt the cold wall against your back. 
You have to talk, you really have to talk, tell him that he is crossing the line, that you were sort of his boss in this situation, but his eyes. There was something in his eyes that was not filled with lust.
Billy was admiring you right now. 
“If you’d let me, Mousy…” He slowly starts kneeling in front of you, your eyes widening as your breath gets caught in your throat at the sight. This supermodel, this way too handsome of a man, was kneeling in front of you, and your whole body broke into a sweat. “I would like to show you just how grateful I am…”
“Y-You don’t have to do it, it’s part of my job–” His right hand raised up, brushing on the side of your left thigh, slowly, fingertips as light as feathers, and your skin grew goosebumps thanks to it. You shivered at the touch, and your belly turned with anticipation at what could happen right now.
“I want to. You don’t know how much I want to.” And Billy doesn’t say it, but he never wants to. But you, you are different. He wants to please you, ultimately make you see stars, helping you to relax, to untangle yourself from the everyday nerves. You gulped and almost let out a small groan when his fingers dug into the skin of your thigh. 
“B-Billy, I don’t know if we should–” You tried to stop this, but you didn’t really want to. Your excitement and your nerves were moving all around your body, going through your veins from head to toe, warming you up and making your heart pump even faster to keep you conscious. 
“Let me eat you Mousy… I need to taste you, god how I want to taste you…” He wasn’t even looking at you as his fingers creeped under your skirt, going up, leaving a trail of fire at each graze of his touch on your skin. You looked up at the ceiling as your breath started picking up. 
“I won’t do anything to you later.” You state, putting your foot down to see if he will stop his movements when he realizes he is not getting anything out of this. But your eyes widened when you felt his fingers hook with the elastic of your underwear, and slowly slide it down your legs. You looked down to see blue irises staring directly into you, a lustful look hiding behind his black blown pupils and he said the next words without a smirk, a smile, or anything at all that would tell you he was playing with you.
“I am doing this because I want to. Not because I expect anything, Mousy.” All your life, you met men that wanted to take or wanted something in return for what they did to you. Women were a different thing, there was no way around it when it came to that, one has to get off the other and that’s final, but men really don’t care about that. 
He urged your right foot to step out of one of the holes of your underwear and then you felt him raise your left leg up, your breath getting stuck in your throat as he hooked your under knee over his shoulder. You gasped when you realized he was staring directly at your center, and you tried to pull your skirt down for him to not see, a deep blush covering your entire body at how open you felt.
He tsked at you, and with his right hand he gripped your hand that was pulling your skirt down and looked up at you with a shake of his head. Your underwear was dangling off your left ankle and your hand was moved away by him as your other helped you stay stable against the wall. He smirked as he bunched up your tight skirt up, going over your ass so he could have a clear view in front of him
In all honesty, you could have avoided this situation. He didn’t seem like a guy who would take a No like a complete offense. He would have let you go the moment you struggled a little bit, but you didn’t. Because you felt the desire the moment he closed the door on the two of you. The tension that has been building up for the past week. 
And wanted nothing else than for him to continue.
“Fuck– Let me thank you properly Mousy… I’ll make you feel real good.” He moved forward, and you felt your whole body shake in anticipation as his breath felt closer and closer on you. Your eyes widened when he blew a bit of air on you, and you realized thanks to the coldness that you were already wet. And he didn’t even touch you yet.
He chuckled as he saw the glistening of your slick, licking his lips as he pressed a kiss above your clit, just gently, teasingly, and you bit on your bottom lip to hold back the whine that wanted to come out of your mouth. He raised his hands up, and got hold of your ass, making your lower body lean forward to him and your hand immediately shot to his head as the other held onto the wall because you needed stability.
His smirk widened as he looked up at you and you stared down at him, alarmingly, because you realized that you fell into it. You grabbed onto his head. A clear invitation. And thanks to that, he was moving forward to press a kiss on your throbbing nub, making you squeal slightly. 
He trembled with excitement at the sound, almost as if he were an animal tasting his prey. But you were no prey. You were a prize. A beautiful prize. And he wanted it, he really did want it. 
His excitement though, betrayed his teasing, and his tongue flicked out to finally get a long lick up your slit, tasting you, and you threw your head back at the sensation, a groan getting caught in your throat. He moaned at your taste, taking another lick for good measure, making your hand clench on his hair. 
“You taste so sweet… Fuck, I think I’m gonna get addicted to you.” And like that, he went in. All in. His tongue lapping your wet folds as if he were a starved man, flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue every now and then and you couldn’t help the breathy moans that escaped your lips. 
Holy shit. Billy Hargrove was eating you out. Out of his pure pleasure.
He gripped into the flesh of your ass to pull you even closer in order for his tongue to go even deeper and finally shove it inside of you to taste your walls. His nose was hitting on your clit just right as he moved his head to the thrust of his tongue. You threw your head back as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, bliss filling your body as you tried to keep your moans as low as possible.
Your grip in his hair shifted, tightening to then let go to rub it gently. He pulled out of your mouth to now solely focus on your clit, putting his lips around it to suck on it while flicking the tip of his tongue against it, and that made you moan out a little louder.
“Fuck, Billy–” He moaned against you as you called his name as if it were a prayer. He let go of your clit, to repeatedly flick it with his tongue, making your hips shake slightly at the feeling. Oh, he was going to be the death of you today, but how long has it been since someone took care of you in this way?
How long has it been since someone cared enough to do so?
His left hand left your ass cheek, to move to your front. He was sucking onto your clit as his index finger touched your slit, coating it in your fluids to lubricate it before pushing it inside, slowly and tentatively. You took a sharp intake of breath at the intrusion, but loved it nonetheless, the grip you had in his hair tightening at the feeling. His tongue never stopped moving on you as his finger started going in and out, in a slow pace. 
You were trying to keep your moans as low as you could but you had nothing to cover your mouth with. Both hands were occupied with something. One was on the wall to keep you from falling and the other was in blonde curls. You wanted more, you needed more. Your belly was starting to pulse, and burn for him.
He pulled away from your clit to take a look at you, and what he saw made the bulge in his pants, which was already hard enough for the buttons to pop out of his jeans, simply twitch. Your face was completely flushed, your eyes half closed from the pleasure you were feeling, and breathy moans were escaping your lips.
But his name, his name was coming out of them as well.
“Can you feel it doll? How thankful I am for what you did?” He licked his lips with a smirk as you whined at his words. He will have his chance on being the one in control some other time. Right now, he had to show you how happy you made him today. So he will return the favor. 
“Billy, I need to…” Your words got stuck in your throat as his finger kept thrusting into you but it wasn’t enough. The squelching sound of your wetness could be heard in the small room, making your belly turn in embarrassment and arousal at the same time. He hummed as he pressed a kiss to the thigh that was draped over his shoulder.
“What do you need, Mousy? I’ll give it to you… Anything you need. Anything you want.” And there was a hidden message behind those words, a message that only Billy knew about. He nibbled on your flesh to urge you to talk and you gasped slightly at the bite, looking down at him.
“I want to… I want to cum, please…” You beg of him and he almost fainted at how good you sound, at how pornographic your voice is like this. Breathless, with choked up moans in it. With his name stuck on your lips, your legs trembling over him, and he was glad he decided to show up to the meeting today. He was gonna let Ralph handle it, meet you afterwards as he snuck away from his manager, but this was much better. So much better.
He added his middle finger now with his index one, and your mouth fell agape, feeling the tight coil in your belly starting to snap slowly. He started moving his fingers, thrusting into you slowly at first and he guided his head towards your clit, sucking on it to add to the stimulation. Your eyes widened at the feeling to then clench them closed, your other hand gripping onto his hair as well as your back held you against the wall.
“Fuck! Billy– You’re so good, what the fu–” You almost moaned loudly, but you held it in as soon as you opened your mouth for it. He curled his fingers inside of you, his pace increasing and you were grinding your hips against his face now, your hands gripping his hair tightly to push him into you, for him to keep going, for him to keep making you feel so wonderfully blissful right now, for him to keep moving on you, for him to keep showing you how grateful he is to you.
“Cum on my face baby, come on, I can feel it…” He says into you with a smirk on his lips before attacking your clit again with his tongue. Your breathing became too heavy, your chest going up and down as the knot grew in your belly, and it burned, and it was unbearable until it finally snapped. 
One of your hands flew to your mouth, the other holding Billy’s hair still, pushing him into you as your walls clenched around his fingers, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you tilted your head back, almost hitting yourself against the wall. You were seeing white, then flashes of stars all around you as he kept shaking his head against you, helping you to ride your orgasm.
He took a deep breath in, breathing heavy when he felt your hand release his hair a bit. Your left leg was shaking over him and he was blown out by how responsive you were to him. He smirked, leaning over to take a long lick of your juices that were already dripping down your inner thighs. You winced at the overstimulation, looking down at him through teary eyes. You gripped onto his hair again, and motioned him to stop.
“Too much– Please…” You were breathless. You didn’t expect your day to turn out like this at all, but here you were. And you didn’t wish to be anywhere else at all. Billy pulled away from you, putting your left leg onto the floor, but not before slipping your underwear out of your ankle. You almost fell, feeling your legs shake because of the aftershock of your orgasm. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, getting up from the floor to face you again.
His knees hurt, his jaw was sore, but his mouth was filled of you, and he wanted more. He needed more.
“Did my thanks go through?”  He asked with a smirk to his face and you looked up at him, with half hooded eyes, your pupils still dilated from the pleasure you just received. His eyes almost widened at the sight. He wanted to kiss you, really badly, taste your lips, make you taste yourself in his mouth. You gave him a tired smirk, making him raise an eyebrow up.
“It did Mr. Hargrove.” Your breath was slowly catching up on you, and you realized your skirt was still up, and you pulled it down, to then look at him again. “Can you give me back my underwear?”
“What underwear?” He says with a sly smirk on his lips that it makes you tremble with desire once again. How did he do it so easily? The butterflies in your stomach reappeared to wreak havoc once more inside of you. 
“The black panties that are on your hand?” You say to him and he slowly puts said panties into the backpocket of his denim jeans, his face coming closer as he talked.
“You came commando today, Mousy.” He was keeping them. He was going to keep your underwear to do god knows what later on. This man, who didn’t ask for anything back right now from you, ignoring the hard bulge that was in his pants, and he just did it out of pure pleasure and also because of the lust he holds for you. You were speechless at his actions, because never once you had a man be this passionate to you. Never this filthy.
He was staring at you, his face as close as he could, breath grazing all of your face and you wanted to dive into his lips, feel them on you, wanting nothing more than to feel how his mouth linked with yours in a frenzied kiss. But he was waiting, patiently, because the line was crossed, but not quite. The next step was yours to take.
“I want to thank you too… How about Friday?” 
His smirk grew as he heard your words, licking the inside of his bottom lip, and his chest puffed in victory. You knew that this might be a one night stand. That his fixation with you will be gone as soon as you two have sex, but you needed him. You wanted him. Fuck the game of cat and mouse.
“Friday sounds perfect… And trust me, you don’t have to thank me Mousy… But if you insist.” He pulled away from you, fixing his hair with a wipe of his hand through it. You gulped as you stared at him and he kept his eyes on yours. He leaned over again, his instincts wanting to betray him, but he stopped as his lips graced yours. Your breath hitched at the touch, and your skin was burning from how aroused you were feeling for him. “God, I want to fucking kiss you.” 
“Friday…” Was your quick response. You knew that if he kissed you now, your one night stand would be at work, and with all honesty, you wanted a whole night with him. You wanted to be able to hear him grunt, moan, and call your name, but you also wanted to scream to let him know how you were feeling.
Because you know, Billy Hargrove was gonna make you scream. And you could hardly wait for it.
“Friday.” He pulled off you completely this time, and you felt the cold embracing you at the lack of body heat. He backed off from you, a smile on his lips as he unlocked the door, giving you a small wink before sliding out and closing the door behind him. The room being void of his cologne now, and you could only smell it 
You finally let yourself slam against the wall, your body shaking as you pressed your hands to your face, feeling the strong heat that was on your skin, smiling widely at what you just experienced. You felt a cold breeze in between your legs, and you clenched your eyes at the feel of your arousal on your inner thighs. You had to go wash yourself.
But that didn’t make your smile falter one bit. You were still trying to believe what had just happened, and not because it was Billy Hargrove. That was a bonus. Someone actually made you feel pleasure, after so long of faking orgasms, of making up excuses to not meet with bad hookups, after taking care of your needs by yourself.
You had to thank Billy properly. It was the right thing to do.
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End of chapter 8
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A/N: I know the smut it's not with who you would want it to be, but we need some backstory before we get to the juicy bits u kno. I will avoid future smut with Billy to focus on Eddie, this was just to introduce him like this into Reader's life.
If you wish to be in my tag list, comment or send me an ask!
Taglist: @enam3l @katethetank @seatnights @oliskitten @bebe07011 @seventhlevelofhell @babez-a-licious @arsenicred @bl4ckt00thgr1n @harrysgothicbitch @emma77645 @fictionalcomforts @hellv1ra @sarcastically-defensive17
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puckandgossip · 24 days
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Clearly from what i can see no one can believe anything on here so do what you wish but this is what happened: Quinn didn't physically cheat on Olivia but he did over the phone and had made plans to from what I know (He might have cheated physically too but I'm not aware, Probably) Olivia got a DM from a girl in Vancouver while she wasn't there sending her a picture of her phone taken off of another phone. In the pictures olivia received, it was Quinn in her dm's on Instagram asking for her number, The girl replied giving him her number+ snapchat. Quinn added both, They texted for a bit and snapped, He ended up asking the girl for nudes. The SS of him asking for nudes was also sent to Olivia. Olivia asked her if she sent him anything back and she said she did but did not know she was in a relationship until her and her friends talked about it, Considering there are no pictures of the two on his Instagram page she thought he was single. He also asked her if she was in town in one of the screenshots indicating he wanted to meet up/ hook up. (They didn't) The girl that dm'd olivia and let her know what was going on, also said she had an acquaintance who also got a dm from Quinn a month prior: The girl posted something on her Private story on snapchat about Quinn contacting her while he had a GF and the acquaintance slid up saying the same thing happened to her. I don't know if he ever physically cheated but after seeing the message she got, It's safe to assume that he did but i don't know. After that i have no idea what happened, I have no idea if she also cheated and what happened with their relationship, But this is what i heard coming from a friend close to olivia in our NYC group, That there was indeed cheating on his side involved.
oh my god 😳😳😳
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shut-up-rabert · 1 year
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I read the recent post and I hope no hate anon is approaching you because I will bring my steel tupperware bottle
Anyway I am really glad that people like you and @lil-stark didi exist. I do not have much knowledge about the political power and parties and especially about the kashmiri pandit issue who was ruling who belonged to which party so I don't speak about this but people who downplay the atrocities that happenes with those pandits deserve a special place in hell. Like think you are moved away from your land by force, by brutal killing and rapes only after some years to hear a random person on the internet say yaar utna bhayankar bhi nahi hua tha and it's a propaganda
The amount of misinformation these so called modern radical folks have is hilarious. Ghanta ramayan mahabharat padhi kahin koyi translation chipka. Not so sweet61 posted that ss of ram following manu, if they really did Vashishtha wouldn't have asked for sita to be the commander of ayodhya instead of leaving with ram.
And Manusmriti itself contradicts the vedas and upanishads. We have had a culture that promoted women scholars, encouraged debate and questioning, and lol as if one could be a brahmin just because they were born in a family. You had to have those qualities to be that and then can you be one. It's as similar to a person being a warrior. Not everybody can be one. You need to train and practice for it. It's good that if you are born in one that way you have an exposure to the respective field just like today if I am born in a house full of doctors, I would have much knowledge about the study, expenses and related stuff to medicine.
Just like every culture every community has good and bad things, sees its rise and fall, we Hindus have seen too. From an era where it was encouraged for a woman to be a brahmavadini, we became resentful at the thought of sending girls to school. We forgot how the texts told to respect each and every person irrespective of their social status to discriminating them on basis of caste and there are all so many issues that we need to address too.
But majal hai that I will sit quietly and see these random people on the internet speak about my culture and insult it. From North to south east to west, Rama and Krishna have been worshipped and always will be. We will always look upto them and learn from them.
In the recent years, the youth of today apart from some dumb idiots who have bhagwan rama in their pfp and comment women tea on every post, I am happy to see that teens are taking interest to read and learn our own Indian history and scriptures. I am not seeing them blindly accept everything. I have seen them ask questions which might be considered 'blasphemous' by the elders but the vedas themselves promote curiousity, questioning and debate as the best way to gain knowledge. And I hope the younger gen keeps going in this path.
(You can respond to this ask in private varna tere piche hate anons aa skte hai)
Seriously, why did Ram, who supposedly followed Manusmriti marry a woman who was a scholar, a warrior, capable of lifting Shiva’s Dhanush and encouraged her to remain her brave, outspoken self because that’s who she was? Why request her to stay in the palace when Manu says that a woman should always be observed? Why give in to all her requests and respect her decisions when Manu says that a woman is mentally incapable of making sound decisions? Why be happy and praise her when she slays Sahastra Raavan?
If Manusmriti was truly being followed, why did the biggest scholar in that entire story, Janak, have his daughters educated, that too by a scholar woman like mata Gargi? Why train them in warfare? Why Did Dashrath bring Kekayi to war with him? Why did Dashrath request the hands of women, who impressed him by thier knowledge, for his sons? And like you pointed out, why offer a woman the position of commander??
If caste was the way Manusmriti says, why was Shabri, a lower caste woman, visited by the lord and sent to heaven? Why did he make a big show of letting the arrogant priests who looked at Shabri with scorn know that she is purer than them by making her touch clean the pond?
Why did Shri Krishna say that a true pandit (knowledgeable person) would see a Brahmin and a Chandala equally? Why did he say he resides in everyone equally, women and Shudras included? Why did the Vedas that are supposedly off limit for Shudras say this?
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Manusmriti is not a scripture, it condradicts the Vedas themselves, when it comes to women’s education, the position of women (there is an exceprt where a warrior queen is mentioned), and being for everyone. Apparently women cannot read Vedas even though the Vedas speak to them directly in multiple excerpts? (Oh men and women, oh women etc,) Shudras Cannot read Vedas even though the Vedas say they are for everyone, Shudras included?
Even if you look at other works of the time, like Kamasutra, which technically is somewhat of a scripture in some parts where it discusses philosophy, because its prologue says it was first written by lord Nandi. Manusmriti thorughly contradicts that aswell.
Oh, and Kamasutra was written after Manusmiriti, And Ramayan and Vedas before it, and all of these except Manusmriti are now engraved on temple walls, so you can clearly see which ones of the restrictive and liberating philosophy was preffered by Hindus at large throughout.
If Casteism was so prominent and rigid, how did a shudra become the partriarch of the biggest empire in mainland India?
Chandragupta Maurya was either clanless or a Shudra, and the current existence of Maurya tribe in Bihar enforces the second one. How did he make it to the top, that too with the help of a Brahmin, if things were as dire? Same can be said for
How was Queen Durgavati’s Father in Law able to change himself into a Rajput despite being a tribal?
How was Vishwamitra, a born Kshatriya able to be a Rishi? How was Lord Parshuram, a born Brahmin revered on a higher level than most Kshatriyas in warfare and was able to put the fear of lord in their hearts?
How was rishi Matang able to be a brahmin despite being born a Shudra?
How was Mātang blessed with goddess Saraswati as a daughter?
How did Lord Gorakhnath become such a prominent saint?
How was VedVyas, son of a Fisherwoman, able to be a sage? How were children of Satyavati able to be kings?
How did the founder of Raghukul become a Kshatriya after becoming a king when he was born a Brahmin?
How was Lord Krishna happily doing the physical labour of a cowkeeper, like a shudra, while living in a vaishya community, despite being born a kshatriya?
I honestly have no more questions to ask that I can think of right now, and I honestly cannot agree more with everything you say. Slay girl💅🏻
I think its better if I make the answer public, simply because I ranted in public so the follow up doesn’t change much, and this is something people should see. But girl, thankyou so much for being worried <3
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who-is-page · 8 months
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🌃 ThisIsAPlaceholderSoPeopleDon'tThinkIWroteThisPic Follow
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🌇 OkayNowHere'sMySection Follow
(I spent like ten minutes writing a response to this post + some of the reblogs that it had accumulated and then the OP disabled reblogs JUST as I hit post, but by god I am gonna say my bit. I've removed OP's name from the post and they've deleted the body of the post on their main blog, so don't any of you try looking them up to bother them, either.)
I'd also like to add on to this discussion regarding criticism and the points that have been brought up there-- it's true that no one is free from criticism, as OP points out in the original post. But having that sort of hyper-aggressive attitude towards fiction, especially without taking potential authorship into account (or worse, taking it far too much into account to the point where you harass the person who wrote it), can result in unintended harm towards real people. It's how you end up with situations like Isabel Fall de-transitioning and winding in a psychiatric institute under suicide watch because people mistook a transgender author's exploration of a transphobic stereotype as a topic as a story intended to be a transphobic stereotype itself.
The Vox article about Isabel has the quote, "Sometimes, the path to your personal hell is paved with other people’s best intentions" (Source). I think that's a very poignant and relevant perspective, where sometimes people--like OP--may think that they, as global citizens, have a duty to uphold morality and righteousness in their online spaces for the safety of themselves and their communities... but in actuality, their actions end up having negative effects far, far beyond their intentions, and don't end up protecting or saving anyone much at all. It can be a hard pill to swallow to realize that, but the real actions that people do in retaliation to fiction often create far, far more damage that the fiction ever does existing on its own. For another example, just look at the creator JoCat, who left his YouTube career this year because of the harassment he faced due to his 2020 35-second long video game animation and song, "I Like Girls" (a genderbent parody of Lizzo's Boys that he'd verbally improved on the spot during a Twitch stream). In his goodbye post, he wrote:
"[...] Granted, a lot of this has been primarily on twitter, where I could simply log off and ignore the haters, but no small amount has leaked into other parts of my regular day to day that is harder to ignore - private DMs over discord and twitch, suspicious packages being sent to my family - but I’ve always kept quiet about it because speaking out about it publicly, defending myself, any reaction to it would just encourage more, and be presented as my own fault as well. But if that’s the tradeoff to do something like share the things I make that I’m proud of on the internet, seeing as I’m writing this, it’s probably an indicator that I’m just not cut out for it, and the best thing for everyone would be to stop and pursue something else. Despite being very grateful for what this job has done for me and my family, I’m simply not strong enough to keep doing this if it means having to just accept this kind and amount of distress." (Source)
I think there's worthwhile conversations to be had about the necessity of criticism as a tool to critique common issues with genre, tropes, and popular media in fiction. But I feel like what is being spoken about here, in this post and in these examples-- criticism not as a tool of critique, but as a personal and direct attack, an unveiling of what the criticizer interprets to be the secret and impure Self of the artist or author--is another beast entirely, and one that typically shouldn't be brought to the forefront. It's turning real, thinking individuals into monsters in the eyes of audiences ready to devour them for the slightest transgression, and does that actually help anyone? Rarely do artists and authors deserve to be publicly ridiculed en-masse for their work to the point where they walk away from it, and doing so doesn't actually help make positive changes in any way... because the people who you could have those important discussions with, about the things that both you are critical of in certain genres, writings communities, stories, tropes, etc have now packed up their bags and left.
Everyone is familiar with the "You are not immune to propaganda" Garfield meme. And while it may be funny, it's also true. People make mistakes and create things which are unintentionally insulting, either because the author is leaning on offensive stereotypes or tropes without realizing it, or because the author isn't worldly to the baggage that certain subjects carry within them (such as people who reference Lovecraft's work without having the background information that he was a horrible racist, sexist, and xenophobe). But heckling them and telling them that they're secretly terrible people and should never create anything ever again isn't going to inform them about these subjects. It's going to result in them getting defensive, prickly, and running off. There is no net gain to this scenario. The amount of Good in the world has not increased from this interaction.
This all isn't touching on people who intentionally play with stereotypes or tropes in their writing, nor is it touching on the inherent religious bigotry and Christiancentrism wrapped up in the idea of someone's fictional stories or writings being reflective of their innermost desires and morality, because this is getting pretty long. But I wanted to put out my own thoughts on this in addition to what's already been said.
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autistic-ben-tennyson · 2 months
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ATIA For Being Mad About This
TW’s for homophobia, transphobia, and young earth creationism It’s been a minute since I’ve posted about being an exvangelical and religious trauma. I am in a different place than I was when I started this blog and I wanted to focus more on stuff that made me happy, but recent events have pushed me to talk about this again so here we go. I don’t consider myself an ex Christian or atheist as I have had some time to reflect but I do agree with the label of exvangelical. I feel like being raised evangelical gave me a lot of self hatred and distrust which created a wedge between me and everyone else I knew.
I feel I can’t complain or am being ungrateful. My parents were, thankfully, not extremists or fundamentalists. They drank alcohol and enjoyed secular movies and music and mom is a liberal. I was allowed to play with dinosaurs and watch a lot of cartoons so I’ve had it better than a lot of people I’ve read stories from. Other times, I’m still really mad at how evangelicalism affected our relationship and my childhood. I was never homeschooled or sent to any religious camps for example, but I remember hating Vacation Bible school and wondering why I had to do it as it felt like more school during the middle of summer.
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Dad loved going to these “hip” rock and roll churches, like the one above, that appealed to a Gen Xer like him and expected us to love the message. To me those places were full of plastic people with subtle bigotry and were no fun with the music causing a sensory overload for me. Many of them were those “love the sinner, hate the sin” kind of churches. He had us watch this TV show all the time called God Friended Me that, while less in your face than Pureflix movies, still held a negative view of non religious people. That made me a bit ashamed for doubting the faith because of how he viewed it as the wrong path.
I feel like almost all my “friends” have been fake. They were all kids and adults that my parents liked but I found them aggravating to be around. They would tell me I was wrong for liking dinosaurs or believing in evolution and that I should spend more time reading the Bible. Many of them were very homophobic and transphobic. The kids would all make jokes about “Adam and Steve” and the adults would gripe about how tough Christians had it in America while ranting about beating up trans people if they used the same bathroom as their kid. To a centrist like my dad, these were just different “opinions” I needed to respect but they caused me to be ashamed of my interests and created a lot of fear and self hatred for me. I always felt like an outcast, being neurodivergent, an adoptee, one of the few POC in that community and being the only one who wasn’t interested in “family, faith and football”.
While my parents have never been super hardcore about religion or anti LGBTQ, I still felt anger and distrust towards them because of the company they kept and their affiliation. Dad is still caused me a lot of distrust because of his need to yell in your face if you screwed up and his traditional beliefs about needing to be productive or the dad being owed respect. All that is why I never took him seriously when he told me “you know you can tell me anything”. I still felt ashamed for liking or talking about “girly” interests I had like Steven Universe, magical girls or Makoto Shinkai films because of that culture I was raised in. I still feel like I have to keep things I like private or get defensive of it because of the kids who would tell me “dinosaurs aren’t real” which hurts way more than some think when you’re 12 and just want to share what you like.
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I never brought up religion when coming out to them as trans but that was one part of my distrust. I’m still salty about how dad ruined my coming out and made it about his feelings, telling me I was wrong for interpreting things he said like “god made you perfect” or I should have come out sooner when he did little to nothing to prove I could trust him. I feel like I should be happy because they accepted me but they still put me in an environment that created a lot of fear and self hatred for me. I don’t know if I really love or trust them or if I want a relationship with them. I’ve had good memories with them that were genuine, but I feel like our relationship has gotten more toxic over the last several years. I feel like I didn’t have genuine faith and was just following them because I am still confused about religion and what I really believe. Sometimes, I just want to run away and for a fresh start and there’s times I hate my mundane life and want something more than what I’ve been given.
@deservedgrace @scarletspider-lily
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omens-and-more · 4 months
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Can you describe briefly what is this whole drama with exes about? I have no idea what I am reading
"Exes": C (Carolina), RB (Rose), OG (We don't share her identity because she wishes for her name not to be known. She's not the "original" ex in terms of timeline so that nickname understandably may be confusing. That was a nickname given to her by a fan named Brandi. You would have to asked Brandi for an explanation as to why she chose that nickname.)
Others: BB (An IG model baddie type who was rumored to be with Noah simple because she posted an IG of him a while back now. Some say she has a boyfriend while others say she doesn't. No real proof her and Noah had anything. Like most things regarding Noah, all just speculation.)
Brandi: She's a BO fan. Runs the blogs called x3rrorx, badomensteablog, antiantiantiantiantiantianti as well as other blogs.
Trying to give the most objective take on some of it to help you better understand some of what people are talking about or at least who they are referring to.
RB: Childhood friend of Noah's then had some form of relationship with him later on. She was not known years ago or anything like that. She engaged with a fan who runs a blog here (Brandi) and attempted to troll here. Brandi and her had issues which were public. Noah texted RB in December on last year telling her that he was hurt by her involvement in the drama and engaged with the "toxic side of the fandom" and that it causes him anxiety. The text are available on her twitter @rosedamian6669. She has also posted tweets about Noah that some view as unkind including ones about his mother who has past. Other things discussed about her include Noah giving her 3k for her dog that need medical assistance. This information became known from Rose herself sharing it. Rose has said she originally asked for Noah to share her gofundme but instead donated the amount privately as to not have her be publicly know since he tends to be private about his persona life. She also has a blog over at rosedamian.com which has blog entries from years ago. Some of which is about Noah. Including but not limited to a blog entry titled "you have shattered all my dreams" or commonly referred to as the "hot dog story." You can look up all this stuff on her twitter and website, read it all, and come to a conclusion for yourself about her.
C: Someone who slide into his DM's in 2020, right at the start of covid, after seeing photos of him online. They went on to have a situationship for a few months while she was in LA then remained friends for around a year after when she went back to Brazil which is were she is from. Many versions on how exactly she became known but based on what she has shared, people first figured out her identity based on who Noah followed. This was back when Noah has his own IG and not many followers and wasn't following many people. There was also a situation with a crazed fan named Heather who would harass Noah and in turn harassed Carolina when she figured out they had some sort of connection. Anyways, her identity became gossiped about on Tumblr by Bad Omen blogs (prior to any Brandi ran blog). She was nicknamed "Mirror Girl" because of a photo that went "viral" amongst BO Twitter and Tumblr which was a photo of Noah wearing her sweater but she could see her reflection in the mirror if you zoomed in and people were speculating on who she was and rumors began about her, including a rumor that she had and shared explicit photos of Noah. Those were merely rumors and NOT true as Carolina has clarified several times that photos of that nature do NOT even exist. She eventually made her own blog (Mirrorgirl95) to clear up rumors and ended up answering questions people sent it. The blog was very short lived. Time passes and everything dies down and everyone moves on. That is when Brandi comes into the picture. Newly a fan, she goes looking into things she sees posted about "Mirror Girl" and that is where the tweet of Brandi asking people to tell her the identity of "Mirror Girl" and she eventually figures it out. Brandi begins her interactions with Carolina by spreading a the rumor Carolina had cleared up and saying it was true. Brandi has since said she was wrong for doing so and believed the rumor was true in the beginning. That is how they started off on the wrong foot. They go on to have an endless back and forth insulting each other in every way you can think off, both claiming to want the drama to end, drama involving "OG", a discord brandi made where others in the discord said some objectively sexist remarks (comments not made by Brandi, at least in the screenshots that have been shared but in a public discord server that she runs), both garnering supporters who make blogs to go to bat for each other, Carolina doing lives and answering NGL's on her twitter where she has spoken negatively about Brandi and has answered questions about Noah that people find to be oversharing or sharing personal information which has upset many fans including Brandi, Both of them looking up and sharing info about each other, and much more drama. That's barely even scratching the surface.
OG: Again, different versions or theories of how she became known. For starters, do not go trying to look her up or asking blogs who he is. It's pointless. She is just a normal American woman in her mid/late 20's who apparently had some type of situationship or hook up with Noah although how long is unclear but very brief. That's all you need to know about her. Her identity was being shared by an anon to multiple Bad Omen blogs some of which had posted her (the posts have long since been deleted). It was also shared with Carolina on her MirrorGirl95 blog, that is what Carolina claims. Carolina has also said when her identity was first shared her IG was private but then moments later unprivated as well as IG captions that were edited to make it seem as though Noah had written BO lyrics were based off of her IG captions leading Carolina to believe the anon was "OG" herself. There are not public screenshots to support Carolina's claim on a privated then unprivated IG account in minutes of her being sent the messages or for the edited IG captions. Brandi would later go on to receive similar messages down the line when she opened up her own Tumblr blog. "OG" then messages Brandi on IG to ask her not to mention her and said she wished not to be known as an "ex" and that her experience with Noah has been positive. That would lead to Carolina feeling as though "OG" was trying to "invalidate" her experience because hers was not the same. Brandi respected her wishes and does not name her. Brandi, on her public discord, theorized if certain BO songs were about "OG" which people commonly mistake those messages as Brandi claiming "OG" said those songs were about her. Although some, including Carolina, claim "OG" has said songs like Who Are You by BO are about her. I do not believe there are screenshots for that claim. At one point "OG" and Brandi wanted to have a conversation with Carolina as there were obviously ill feelings there due to things said publicly. The conversation did not happen as Carolina has said her face was healing from some treatment she had received. And much much much more.
Honestly this posts covers maybe 10% of events that have transpired between the parties involved and doesn't even touch on BO fans involvement in all this or the side character on each "side" of this never ending drama.
You can read the some of the posts on Carolina's, RB's, and Brandi's socials to see all sides and come to your own conclusions. My only advice, look at any screenshots as all "sides" tend retell versions of events in ways that make themselves look favorable but there are some absolute truths mixed in there. Do NOT by any means send any of them hate. It's unnecessary. They are all actually quite open to answering questions when asked respectfully or privately if you are that curious although I can imagine that at this point the topic of Noah or these women's issues with each other feels like everything that needs to be said has already been said and quite repetitive.
#bo
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