#but i remember that i literally had a complete story plot written on my notebook back then

[gxtzeizm]

that feeling when you found a local drama series that being originated from a local streaming platform in which the plot reminds you of a fic that you wrote 6 years ago

[sanversandfriends]

Sanvers fans know her from her amazing contributions of art and fic to the Big Bang, but @morganastorm24 is also a multi-talented writer and artist for multiple ships in the DC universe. She also has love of everything Lois Lane. In honor of the Planet's star reporter, we've asked her to share a glimpse into her writing process. Thanks, Morgana!

Tell us a little about yourself. How did you get started writing fic? Have you written for other fandoms? What are your favorite tropes?  

I've been writing for as long as I can remember - even longer according to my mum. I've always loved creating stories and would sit with my teddies and toy horses, reading them stories (even before I could read, because that's what pictures are for, right? Telling a thousand words and all that). For my 6th or 7th birthday, I apparently asked for a "really nice writing set and an even nicer book to write in". I was given a ring binder with plastic pockets, a notebook and a pencil case full of stationery. I still have that ring binder to this day, though it's not filled with all my random childish scribbles like it once was. 

I started writing fanfiction not long after Star Wars: Attack of the Clones came out. That's the earliest fanfic I can remember writing, anyway. I wrote Anakin and Padme's adventures after they got married, and then when rumours started flying about what was going to happen in Episode 3, I wrote my very first "fix it fic" by finding a way to keep Padme alive (as I couldn't bear the thought of my favourite character dying). Most of those very early fics never left the pages of the notebooks they were scrawled in and nobody else ever saw them (thank god!), but it wasn't until I started reading fanfiction online that I realised I could actually do that too - share my ideas with the world. I dabbled a little in fanfic for the tv show Casualty (a British medical drama), had more success with Doctor Who, wrote some more Star Wars, then Merlin and eventually (and most recently) Supergirl (with a dash of other DC). 

What were your inspirations for this particular story? What was it about this/these ships that grabbed you?

This fic was born of a single image - namely Chyler first revealing that she was going to wear a black and blue super suit and become Supergirl for one episode. That image alone was enough to get my mind racing with possibilities and ideas of how it might come to pass. I have to be honest and say I stopped watching the show after the Crisis stuff, so I've never actually seen her episode as Supergirl, but maybe that's a good thing? At least this way I know that my version of her is different and unique.

I am and always will be a huge Sanvers stan, but there's something so appealing about AgentCorp as well, and the show really dropped the ball when they wouldn't let Alex and Lena be together. They're an interesting and dynamic pairing - they share interests, are both huge science nerds and yet so completely different that its great fun writing them both together.

As for Lois and Kara - that one literally came out of nowhere and took me by surprise. I'd never intended for it to happen, and yet now that it has, I'm wondering why I never thought of it sooner!

Has the time spent away from your story changed your outlook or approach to any of the storylines or themes? Have you had any new inspirations or breakthroughs/revelations in the meantime? 

Absolutely. I got to a point with the fic where it had grown stale, and I was constantly hitting up against a wall with no idea how to get around it, or to power through it. So, I walked away from the fic and decided to focus on other WIPs and new creations instead. Coming back to it now, I've been able to see everything with fresh eyes, and I can see not only where I was going wrong before, but also a way to fix it. Changing the villain, adding characters, getting rid of redundant plot threads and adding more relevant pieces has really helped to get this work to a place where finally, I can see the finish line and I know I'm going to make it. That's a huge relief, considering where I was 2 years ago when I first started writing it.

Any advice for new or aspiring fic writers?

Never give up. No matter how hard it might be, just put words on a page. It doesn't matter how rubbish they are, as my BFF always says, "You can't edit a blank page." Let yourself suck, let yourself write horrendously. It's all good practice. Even if those words never leave your notebook or the document on your computer, they've taught you something, they've helped you to improve, so be proud of them.

Writing is also a bit like a painting. Not even Da Vinci or Van Gogh sat at his easel and created a masterpiece on his first try. There's the initial sketches to plan out the idea. That's your plot or summary. Then you add basic blocks of colours. That's your first draft. From then on, you work away slowly, adding details, shading, contouring...those are your second, third, fourth drafts. Keep revising and editing as much as you need - there's no right or wrong number of times you should be doing it. Because each time you do, you're adding more detail to your masterpiece. And what you end up with is a work of art.

One final piece of advice... writing is not a solo event. All those times a writer is depicted sitting along, tapping away at a keyboard or scribbling in a notebook, it's so misleading. Get yourself a writing buddy. DKGwrites and I are best friends, we met through fanfiction (and I'm eternally grateful for that everyday). We have regular writing sessions together, and ok it's 90% messing around, distracting one another, talking utter nonsense or throwing random videos and links to each other, but that 10% when we do actually behave and get down to the task at hand, it's so much more fun writing together than it ever is when we try to write alone. Silliness aside, we help one another, bounce ideas off one another, motivate and encourage one another, and it's the best thing ever. So find yourself a writing buddy, and have a blast!

If you were going to promote this fic with a single line, what would it be? 

What if Supergirl was a badass redhead called Alex Danvers?

We'll have more about her artwork in the coming weeks, but in the meantime, check out her work on A03!

[jenotapes]

to all the boys i've hated before. (prev!)

❝ when i wanted a life changing experience, i didn't mean this. ❞

pairing | nct dream x fem!reader

genre | fluff with big clumps of angst, to all the boys i've loved before inspired au, a whole love octagon, implied enemies to lovers, college au

warnings | profanity, mentions of alcohol and smoking, mentions of bullying, sexual mentions (no smut though, just suggestive), cheating, the dreamies are assholes here, FOR THE SAKE OF THE FIC. they're absolute angels irl so plz take it with a pinch of salt

notes | preview for my upcoming series is up! i hope you guys are as excited for this as much as i am :] taglist is now closed, the plot is similar to the netflix show but to let you know the story progress wont go the same way the show does!

taglist | @marklexleaf @rrnhyuck @runawayreki @czenieehyuck @jaeminslut @tsupuffs @ihearthaechan @theskzvibe @angelssung @renkkuri @injunzz @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @jaeyux @scintillating-souls @yixingtion @bath1lda @channiedani @yourelate @alyvieyr @huangberryyy @shnchintya @germoryisinvain @woopetals @treeforlight @sharkbb @justvelvet14 @chnzlele @grassbutneo @daegalfangirl @itsjustveryhard @latta-e @rosyb7aby @softieehyuck @ryu-naa @totalbetty @renjun-pretty @legbouk @mahae66 @babyksworld @artsenthusiastk77 @peepsibo @niocity @natttjuless @todorokiskitten @jaeviez @seobecca @fullbitchsun @resceluwu @flower-lise

synopsis | an incident that spiraled your life in so many ways possible. out of your entire school life, you had only written letters about people who you so much despised, being it for your eyes only. until a day, word came out that they’d been exposed. you remembered, out of hundred and nine– there was a top seven.

You were known to be a little petty ever since you walked the world, one incident and there was always that small notebook you kept laying in your pit of files, free for you to spill your feelings on with the bridled anger stomached in your body. From kindergarten all the way to college, unexpectedly. From the chicken scribbles back in your neonate days, all the way to you being an adult. Much so or less, you still remember so clearly about every rant you had written down in that already so fragile book; even the ones that made no sense, namely 'Engelish boy was very mean, I hope he bad day today. I kicked him in leg. He cry. XD'.. right.

You always forgive though, but you never forget.

Albeit you had somewhat a tradition. There would always be someone you'd end up despising, so much so you needed to write a discrete letter for that person alone, in the color red especially.

Of course, these letters were hidden with much more heed. A small secret compartment you had built yourself after.. accidentally hitting the inside of the drawer with a hammer after you were finished repairing your room. In lieu of fixing the hole with uncooked ramen, it made a great hidden cache for your letters.

There weren't much anyway, you were surprised that there was only less than ten out of hundreds of people I suppose, but there was no one else to make you detest that person even more so than these seven. Your top seven.

You still think about the letters, reminiscing while you laugh at the stupid things they had done to you. They were for your eyes only anyway, so what was there to regret on what you had wrote?

A smile plastered on your face, resting lightly on the head of your comfort chair as you shut your eyes to take a small, light nap, leaving the damned letters in your very arms.

dear jisung,

i really don’t give a fuck about your clumsiness, but in what way made you so smug? to the point where you literally do not care about any of the chaos you cause around you?

let's travel to the time i was working on my chemistry project, you literally have no idea how much time i spent completing it. just as i was about as done finishing the thesis, of course you had to spill acid on it.

i came home late from my shift at the library yesterday, realising i had left a few papers at work– which meant me redoing all of those missing pages again until at about 5 in the morning, i didn't take the after hours, which meant sungchan had probably thrown it out mistaking it as some piece of trash. entirely my fault, sure, but if you were so busy the whole week– schedule packed to the point you aren’t even able to sit on your bed for a second, you’d forget too. i’m just as clumsy as you are, surely you’d understand right? let’s not forget, i was rushing, and i had to arrive at the dorm before the gates closed or else i’d spend my time sleeping at the library and risk an earful from the security guard for alleged ‘trespassing’. that man does not catch a break with his mouth, i can tell you that.

OOH but then you just had to ‘accidentally’ knock over the chemical tube and spill the acid everywhere on it.

every piece of paper stuck on that book burned to ashes.

thanks a lot, jisung.

mrs. lim knows that i've been missing out on work and i can tell she’s been disappointed with my performance in class. i feel extremely bad for failing chemistry, and i'm sure you know she’s working her hardest being a teacher at 44 all the while taking care of her four children.

i spent hours crying in my room because of my wasted effort. mind you, it seemed that you had done it on purpose, especially with that stupid smirk on your face. you didn't even apologise, and just sat there doing nothing. remind me not to sit with you ever again in any of the classes we take together. don’t know if that clumsiness is some scheme to get you away easily from the troubles you cause, but you need that attitude checked. ASAP.

sincerely, jung y/n.

dear donghyuck,

honestly, i'm pretty confused on how to start on this vent letter.

let’s start off with, please shut the fuck up. god, i don’t care about your spontaneous personality but you need to stop shouting and rambling for once, and those drinking habits? i think it’s time for it to go. when you told me that you had come to college to have fun as an adult, i did not mean for you to go partying literally every 4 times in a week and come home crying, punching and pouring your utmost feelings to the wall.

i hoped for you to at least be someone tolerable but, apparently not. remember the time you hosted a party in our dorm without asking me first? i’m not the boss, but please be considerate to ask permission from your dear roommate. you're not the only one living here, and let me just say, you don’t pay the rent here either.

cleaning up stupid confetti and puke stains, food crumbs and disgusting used condoms on MY bed. i cleaned all of the stupid mess you made, while you were busy slumping on the couch, intoxicated with alcohol as i spend the rest of the night praying that you would hopefully be kind enough as to ask me permission the next time you hold a party.

unfortunately so, you continued doing it again even after your so-called apology. this time, the fire alarm even rang and you know who got the scolding? i did. i even risked getting kicked out of the dorm by the landlord because even if i was lucky enough to be charged a reasonable price of monthly rent, complaints would be a risk.

you keep me awake all night, concerned every time– as if i were to shut an eye, i’d be hearing an ambulance alarm pass by. you should be glad i still kept you in, if i was still 16 year old me, your ass would be out and about i’m afraid. just because I barely complain does not mean i don’t despise you, just know i’ve always dreamed about kicking you to the curb.

the parties are not the only thing, you’ve always asked me to do stuff for you too. nothing is wrong with being dependant but you use me to your advantage every chance you get, and i fucking hate it.

you annoy the shit out of me, just please. shut up. you don't know how happy i am when i go on holiday just because you aren’t here to make my life a living hellhole.

sincerely, jung y/n.

dear mark,

guess who's writing this in the nurse's office right now. that’s right, i am!

why?

well, let’s just say; mark lee was showing off to his four other friends about his new rugby tactic that he was going to do and it was all good until the ball didn’t hit the net– it hit my face.

now, i’m holding an ice pack on the left side of my purple face while my other free hand is writing this angry letter to you.

gosh, mark. you didn’t even say sorry. instead, you laughed it off with your friends. funny right? harshly hitting a girl in the face with a rugby ball as she hurls in pain, what’s next? are you going to laugh too if my head gets cut off from my body the next time around? you literally had no sense of shame or pity of the fact that you psychically hurt me to the point where my sight has been slightly blurry.

not to mention, you even shouted “don’t forget to throw it back!’ instead of helping me, which meant you were completely aware of the accident you just caused. luckily, i don’t really know jack shit about you, but congratulations for being the asshole of the year. never knew that i'd end up with a bruised face after my first encounter with you.

this letter won’t be as long because i'm currently crying my eyes out because of how painful my face feels right now. good to know you’re a horrible person. the nurse told me to stay away from you and your friends, and you know what? i gladly will without a doubt.

fuck you. sincerely, jung y/n.

dear jeno,

a living nightmare you are.

hearing your name come out from my mother’s mouth was the worst thing for me to hear everyday. jeno this, jeno that. you were always that kid my mom compared me to, from good grades, good performance, good looks, fucking everything.

it would’ve been fine if you weren’t stuck up but right! not everyone is perfect am i right? forget how my mom treats me like the biggest failure in life, you need to stop making fun of me for it. It hurts me a lot.

whenever i do something wrong, you’d take up the chance to pick on me and bring my mood down to a tea. especially when i struggled with finals in 11th grade, fucking all i could hear was you saying “i’d be disappointed if i had a child like you too.” or let’s not forget, “you wish you were me huh?”

well guess what? the last thing i ever want to be is you.

you don’t know the many times i’ve cried because of how upset i was. crying every night because i’ll never be the daughter my mom wants me to be, and your stupid words keep me up all night too. well i’m sorry i’m not as smart as you are, i’m sorry im not good at everything, i’m sorry for not being you.

you’d always bring me down, always.

look, i know that i might seem like i don't care about your cocky sentences, hell i really don't! but really, i’m not that much of a tough guy once you leave the scene. yes, i cried in the toilet cubicles. what about it? are you going to laugh at me about that too? that i can’t stand up for myself because all i can do is cry about it like a baby?

you just see me as some measly object to pick on, because if there’s anyone to make you feel better about yourself, it’s me. you’re an insecure little prick, and i know it. i’m so glad we wont be in the same classes anymore, because if anything, i want you to stay the fuck away from me.

jung y/n.

dear jaemin,

you know, you really piss me off. i don't care if you're the class president, you can be a real pain in the ass sometimes– actually, all the time.

i want you to know the reason why i forgot to clean my desk; i was arranging the maths textbooks in room 5 which YOU forgot to arrange and when i came back, i got a detention slip.

I’ll let you know it’s not even the first pink slip i’ve gotten, countless times i’ve had it smacked on my table as you send me off for every mistake i’ve made, small, big– most of which weren’t even needed for detention. I could tell you hated my guts, which i have yet to know the reason for.

i don't know if it was because i stole your beloved position last year or it’s because you’re generally so uptight about every single thing. just know i hate you too.

you don’t even let me explain? whatever, you don't bother listening anyways. thanks to you and your power abuse, i have a huge amount of detention slots in my school record. now it decreases my chance of getting into my dream university, because who would want a student with an abhorrent school record? you writing down the reasons for my detention slips are another thing, because i’m sure you write the biggest lies on that piece of paper.

i’m so tired of it, i really am. because of you, my performance in school crumbled. just know if i ever end up on the streets, you’re one of the many reasons why.

sincerely, jung y/n.

dear chenle,

i don’t know what to say.

a bully turned friend huh?

i feel guilty for writing this letter about you but i really cannot forget the time you turned the tables for me. from stealing my books, shaming me, taking advantage of me, it hurts just thinking about it actually. you say it was jeno that had forced you to do it, but you both were just the same. picking on me from back to back.

i couldn’t even breathe when you were around, you brought shivers down my spine just at 7 years old. sure you were a child back then, but the teasing still lingers on today. we reconciled, you apologised but do you really have to pin the blame on somebody else when you were the reason for everything?

do you know how scared i was of you? i couldn’t even come to school at that point.

i’m a little disappointed that you, out of every person, was the first to do this. my very own friend. I don’t know if you still feel guilty about it, or if you even feel sorry at all– but just know that i’ll never forget what you’ve done to me.

i’m keeping it short, now that i wrote this letter i’m afraid i’ll be thinking about it again. i've given you a second chance, and I hope you take it well.

just hoping you changed for the better.

sincerely, jung y/n.

..renjun.

everyone has an ex they despise with their entire soul, heart and being.

and you’re one of them.

god, if there was anyone i hated more than anything, it was you. you toyed with my feelings so harshly.

all i wanted was for you to love me and support me like a boyfriend should, i poured out my heart and feelings to you and I appreciated your effort for comforting me no matter how pretentious you were, i was happy you were there to listen to me. just as i thought a bright light entered my dark world, you were apparently just some stupid fucking meteor shower coming to ruin my life.

some people might say that “where there's love, there's no place for hatred.” and bullshit like- “ getting someone is not the only definition of love, letting go the one you love can too be the definition of love,” to be honest, these quotes are just idiotically funny. for me, my emotions are always at two extremes. there's love and there's hatred, either one can be my friend or nothing. It's like the extreme end of a long thread and there's no intermediate breaking point in it to adjust any other emotion.

yes, i hate you because i loved you so much. yes, i do hate you because i cared so much. yes, i do hate you because once you were my life. yes, i do hate you because you meant everything to me.

you cut my heart into pieces and threw it in the gutter for reasons unknown. you didn't have a second thought, you never even tried to get things clear between us. you knew that i loved you, no matter what, you knew i'll never hurt you, so out of that surety, you cheated on me. you said goodbye so easily as you broke it off, i wonder every day if you regret doing what you did. was i just some rebound to you?

i really thought you knew better, i don't know if you fell out of love, or if i wasn’t enough for you, better yet, you probably got tired of me.

were all the things you said a lie?

i still wonder, renjun.

sincerely, jung y/n.

PART ONE

do not translate or copy © jenotapes 2021

[pixiedane]

Fic Writer Review

Thank you for the tag, @ussjellyfish ! I don't know whom to tag so I will just say to all of you: TAG, you're it (scroll to the end to copy paste the questions).

how many works do you have on AO3?

187

what’s your total AO3 word count?

373,260

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

The count is 74, but they're not wholly individual (lots of "all media types" for example). I have pseuds for Star Wars (68 works), Star Trek (63 works), and Marvel (18 works). There are 38 works in other fandoms including Leverage, Killjoys, Harry Potter, The Hobbit, House MD, Game of Thrones, Once Upon a Time, Law and Order, Peter Pan, Willow...

16 more questions beneath the cut.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

512 kudos, Let's Go Steal a Family (Leverage), 2044 words | The Leverage team decide they don't need to settle down in order to start a family.

This was written for the "Leverage-a-thing-a-thon" run in August 2015 (making this fic almost exactly six years old). It's about found family in the most literal sense.

415 kudos, catch a glimpse of sunlight (Star Wars), 2324 words + a fanvid | What if Anakin listened to Padmé more than Palpatine and Obi-Wan listened to Anakin more than Yoda? tldr; galaxy saved

Created for the 2016 Star Wars Rarepairs exchange, a canon divergent au where Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padmé work together to take down the Chancellor and raise the twins as a triad.

253 kudos, and a softness came from the starlight and filled me full to the bone. (Star Wars), 726 words | Luke wants to know about his mother.

Written for PadMay 2018, for the prompt "How should Padmé be remembered?". Wow, I'm surprised this is in the top five given it's a tiny ficlet in a giant fandom written for a challenge I made up myself. But I'm pleased! Padmé deserves to be remembered, that's why I started PadMay.

247 kudos, Serendipity (Star Wars), 1914 words | That time Padmé accidentally walked in on the wrong naked Jedi.

Another ObiAniDala AU written for the Star Wars Rarepairs Exchange, 2018 in this case. Two years earlier I'd made a random photo manip of Natalie Portman and Ewan Mcgregor drinking tea and it eventually inspired the fic.

221 kudos, Your Beating Heart Tonight (Star Wars), 3121 words | Padmé develops feelings for her other Jedi protector.

And another written for the Star Wars Rarepairs Exchange in 2016! And also another AU based in a storm of emotions between Anakin, Padmé, and Obi-Wan. I have a specialty.

All five of these are about family first and foremost. Three and a half feature polyamory. Three and a half are canon divergent AUs. None breaks 3200 words. All were written for an event/exchange.

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

For the most part. Sometimes I don't right away and it becomes awkward. And I generally don't respond to negative comments because who needs that.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably Abduction, a mirror universe story vaguely inspired by The Handmaid's Tale. My author's note: "It is not a happy story for anyone and implies the extreme emotional abuse of a child, as well as the coercion and torture of adults."

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I love crossovers! I've completed a few and have fifty more in wip folders. The most ambitious is War of Stars, a Star Wars/Game of Thrones fusion with 26,480 words, thirty chapters, and five different povs (Cersei, Anakin, Daenerys, Ahsoka, and Boba). Niche, but I am very proud of how it worked out.

I've also blended Star Wars with Mad Max, Kelvin Star Trek, Star Trek Discovery, Deep Space Nine, Sleeping Beauty, and Black Widow.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

I've had a few mean comments but they're basically "I don't like this pairing and I want you to feel bad about writing it" and I won't.

do you write smut? if so what kind?

No. Just not my thing.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I've had a few translated into Russian, which just adds to the headcanon that I'm secretly Black Widow.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, back in the LiveJournal days I wrote many thousands of words with @vasnormandy. I am slowly posting those stories to AO3 under my Marvel pseud Amelia Danvers, my OC and main character.

what’s your all time favorite ship?

An impossible question because I multi-ship like my life depends on it. Anakin/Padmé is my most prolific ship followed by Rey/Ben, Kat/Lorca, and Carol Danvers/Peter Parker (the parents of Amelia above). But I've written alternate ships for all of the above.

You can read more about my shipping interests here.

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Oof. I have a lot of WIPs that I would like to finish but it's hard to get back to.

what are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. Introspection. I'm good at writing a specific point of view. Characters addressing their issues. I like to pull at threads so I've built up those skills. I love mixing and mashing fandoms and pairings. Complex relationships and the discussion thereof.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Action, like sex scenes or fight scenes, and anything plot heavy. I'm more interested in character and it shows in my writing.

I am also terrible at follow through and finishing things. It's why so much of my fic is written for challenges with external deadlines.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm not fluent in any other languages and I wouldn't want to do it without extensive research.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Either Star Trek (TNG, mainly the adventures of Beverly Crusher - as a preteen, at the Academy, as a single mom, and because I'm me I also gave her a Romulan lover) or Star Wars (the adventures of Han and Leia's daughter who was ME but also Jaina Solo before Jaina Solo existed because she was a twin who wanted to be a pilot more than a Jedi). These stories were written on notebook paper in colored pen and I'd do dramatic readings in the backyard, in costume, with only the trees (all of whom I'd named, mostly after heroines in books, like Elizabeth, Jane, Anne, Alice, Mary, etc.) as the audience.

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Well, the one I imagine as something more is Pas De Deux, my Jedi Dance Academy AU. I can picture the senes in my mind and I really enjoyed the adaptation process, melding two things I love into one. The characters and events are recognizable, but also very different and that's something I enjoy.

Questions for anyone who wants to complete it:

Fic Writer Review

how many works do you have on AO3?

what’s your total AO3 word count?

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

have you ever received hate on a fic?

do you write smut? if so what kind?

have you ever had a fic stolen?

have you ever had a fic translated?

have you ever co-written a fic before?

what’s your all time favorite ship?

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

what are your writing strengths?

what are your writing weaknesses?

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

[threeletterslife]

Hey, I’ve been a silent fan (I’m sorry 🙈) for quite some time but I decided to message you today because I JUST FINISHED Tommorows another problem and I can’t fathom how someone could think of such a plot. I was absolutely mesmerized and fascinated. I have to say that you BLEW MY MIND. But I did have a few questions on it if you don’t mind answering them.

Firstly, why did Yn’s mom do that to her daughter? What was her motive in hiring all these people to just script things down and act it out? I can’t wrap my head around the storyline and the mother and all these people that YN trusted that just scripted out her life. It was really good 🥺🥰

Secondly, will YN ever tell Namjoon that she found out about the notebook? I mean if they talk it out won’t it be better? Maybe Namjoon loved her and cared for her all this time…

Thirdly, if this ever happened to you (God forbid) how would you feel? What would you do? And if you found love again and they also had a notebook then would you leave them or stay?

I’m so sorry if I’m confusing, I’m just so stupefied by your story and I literally cannot THINK PROPERLY because it was awesome, and great and fantastic and fabulous and magnificent and all the good adjectives in the dictionary. Thank you so much, for everything, really🥰

omg pls don't apologize for being a silent fan! we all have different ways to enjoy and process our favorite works, and if i do say so myself, i'm a pretty silent reader as well LOL

i also can't take all the credit in coming up with tap since it was inspired by the truman show (1998)! i rewatched that movie recently on a flight home from vacation and damn, it was much more well-directed than i remember LOL (especially for an older film)

and yes, i'd be very glad to answer your questions :)

1. it's implied very loosely that yn's mother was the main orchestrator of the journals, BUT this was also yn's theory (it doesn't have to be 100% true). if you watch the truman show, you see that a whole ass studio picked truman (an orphan) to star in their 24/7 live show. from there, they had camera directors, scriptwriters, actors who would play the important people in truman's life—although they're not marginally related to him at all. the only thing that differed from the truman show and tap was that in tap, the actors were given more precise scripts in the form of a black leather notebook. basically, yn thinks her mother orchestrated this whole thing because her script is the first one she read. however, there might be a high power above her so-called 'mother.' a director, perhaps, or an actual scriptwriter. and though none of this is written in tap, this is what i was thinking of when i wrote the fic! however, that doesn't mean it's the correct way to interpret it since i never explicitly state it. tap is supposed to be a ~mystery~ so i put most—if not all—things up for interpretation!

2. here's the thing. i wanna say that yes, she does eventually tell him about the notebook. but the answer will unfortunately be no. i don't think yn will take any more chances. her separation from jimin was hard. (i like to think that jimin genuinely cared for her.) but i'm not 100% sure that namjoon is as genuine, and yn is rightfully worried about that. the sad thing about tap is that yn has accepted it. she likes her controlled life. she likes namjoon. and she doesn't care that he might be following a script. because he fooled her into thinking he was genuine once and she believed it; she supposes that she can believe it a little longer (maybe forever). it's not easy to pick yourself up, leave your 'mother' and 'best friend' and 'co-workers' and 'boyfriend' to live in a completely new environment. i think yn is tired. she doesn't find the point in searching for the truth, which is pretty understandable too

3. well this is a very fucking good question. man, if this ever happened to me i would honestly be pretty pissed LOL. (and also be slightly amused that i wrote a whole ass FIC about my own situation??? fortune teller much?) i can be proactive if i want, but in this case, i feel like i won't do anything—or anything super reckless LOL. instead, i'd pretend that i didn't see the notebook at all. then i'd read it behind their backs and try to do the opposite of what they think i'm going to do. but i'm pretty sure that's gonna get tiring after a while. in a few years, i'll probably force myself to forget about the notebook and just live how i did before i found out. and let's say i had a partner and i dumped them bc of the notebook. if i found love again (and also found their notebook), i'd leave lmao. i have a no-nonsense rule in my dating/friend life and have no problem cutting off people i don't trust oop. if i broke up with my last s.o. because of the notebook and found out that my recent s.o. also has said notebook, it'd seem pretty stupid to me to continue the relationship for whatever reason 😭 also imagine not being able to hide a teeny notebook from me 🤨🤨 this is not a main character answer whatsoever LOL. but thank you so much for asking this question because it really made me think!

and thank you for leaving such great inquiries and kind feedback!! i'm honestly amazed at how much you enjoyed tap <3

[zwritesstuff]

Writing a First Draft

I’ve seen a lot of advice posts that encourage writing a “bad” first draft, or saying that the point of the first draft isn’t to be “good” just to be done, but I have yet to see any examples of what that actually means (which is unfortunate because for a lot of first-time writers that may just mean that their best effort on a first draft isn’t “good enough”), so that’s what I’m here for! The ultimate advocate of ugly writing, babey! Let’s write some “bad” first drafts!!

Forewarning that this is going to be difficult for you perfectionists out there (same hat tho!!!), but really, if you’re looking to finish a first draft within a reasonable time frame (and not continue to rewrite the beginning 50 times to get there, only to be disappointed when the next scenes aren’t as “good” as the beginning), then this really is the way to go. Perfectionism comes in super handy in later drafts, but it’s a real burden in the first draft, and I really really relate to that. What I find that helps keep my perfectionism in check while I’m drafting is to keep a separate Word doc open (or a notebook and pen at hand) to jot down new ideas or things that have changed throughout the draft. Putting a page number down next to the notation will save your life as well. Your future self will thank you!

Okay, so let’s get into it! You have an idea, and you need to get that first draft out before you lose motivation or move on to a shiny new WIP idea. What’s that first draft going to look like?

Write the scenes you’re excited about first. If you’re someone who, like myself, needs to write things in chronological order, then write these scenes in chronological order - but! if you have the conclusion figured out, then write it now, yes, even before that one bit in the middle you’re not sure about. Is it likely that some details in these scenes will change as you keep writing different parts of the book? Yes! Do it anyway! Anything you write will be helpful for later drafts, so write those scenes!!! Plus, if you start with what you’re excited about, you’ll want to keep writing even after they’re finished, because your brain will just keep generating other super cool ideas for those in-between scenes. And yeah, there will definitely be filler scenes to write, but you can probably worry about those in the next draft.

If you’re on a roll, don’t worry about punctuation, grammar, or spelling. I mean it! If those red squiggles in Word bother you, turn them off (they’re really only semi-helpful for editing, and we’re not doing that right now). If you write faster and think better using “internet grammar” (minimal/excessive punctuation, no capitalization, weird spelling, etc.), then do that! If it helps you get words on the page, it’s worth doing.

If you’re not on a roll, try putting some space between what you’ve written and what you need to write. For me, that frequently means hitting enter (even mid-sentence if I suddenly get stuck), typing “monkey,” and then hitting enter again, as many times as it takes for my brain to reboot and remember what the hell I was going for. If that means I have a chain of 20 monkeys in the middle of a paragraph, so be it. They get to hang out there until I come back in draft two and delete them. 

I’ve also written “uhhhhhh” and “oh fuck now what” several times in a first draft. It happens. It’s easier to write in a way that mirrors your thought process, so just do what works. Use memes in your prose to keep it moving - it’ll make future you laugh when you go back through on draft two!

Don’t be afraid to change major pieces of plot - but don’t you dare go back and rewrite earlier pieces to match! Let’s say you’re at the end of act one and you revealed some tragic detail about your MC’s backstory, but now you’re in the middle of act two and you’ve realized that it no longer fits your idea of MC and you no longer want it to be true. Simply make a brief note of it and keep writing like that scene in act one never happened. Deleting, rewriting, and repurposing are all for later drafts! The goal on the first draft is literally just to reach the end - and it’s inevitable that you’ll find and change the story along the way.

Forget about foreshadowing. No matter how detailed of an outliner you are, the fact is that in the first draft you really don’t actually know what’s going to happen yet in your book (see point 5). So forget about trying to foreshadow. Spell out what’s happening plain as day - because the first draft is just one long exposition dump to aide you in future drafts. If you get halfway through and a sudden twist or weird piece of backstory jumps out at you, write it in as if you had foreshadowed, even though you haven’t yet. Make a note of it, and maybe even note where you could foreshadow this in the next few drafts, but keep moving forward. 

Changing perspectives is fine even if it goes against how you know you want your final draft to be. If you have a scene in mind that you know you need to include, but you have no idea how MC would react during it, but you know how your side character would react, write the scene from the side character’s perspective. You can think about MC’s POV in that scene later - again, the point is just to get it written, so if switching POVs gets you through the scene, do it.

Ultimately, this is what people mean when they say your first draft is going to be “ugly.” It’s going to be a little (or a lot) messy. But that’s okay. The struggle of the beginning writer is realizing that your first draft is not going to look like anything you’ve read before - because those are final drafts. And to the gifted writers who breezed through school (like I did) by submitting their first draft essays for grading - that’s not going to work here. Every time you rewrite a piece, it gets better. If you try to make your first draft perfect, you will just end up frustrated and disappointed at the time you wasted, because you’ll end up reworking 80% of it or more in the subsequent drafts. Your writing style will change and improve, and your knowledge will grow, and every time you revisit a draft, that will be reflected.

So write that ugly draft. Insert so many author’s notes mid-paragraph that you look like an early 2000s fanfic writer. Contradict previous scenes like you’re constructing the most elaborate Winchester Mystery House -esque draft the world has ever seen, complete with paragraphs that lead to nowhere and mysterious monkey chains cutting sentences in half. 

And then, in the second draft, make it look as though the first draft never happened.

[tcheschirewrites]

Hey, are you participating in NaNoWriMo? Have you ever? And what was your experience like? I'm considering it but I feel so intimidated because I know I won't be able to commit to it wholeheartedly. Lowering my expectations and pacing myself would seem like the perfect solution but work kills my creative brain cells by the seconds. I wouldn't be surprised if by the end of November I've only written half of page of alien language. Any advice? Also does Nano have to be a new project?

Oh man, Nano. I’m well familiar with Nano, and I’ve participated a few times (to varying degrees of success). This got very long, so I’m putting a cut.

The first time I attempted Nano was in 2006 for my novel Seerking. I had heard about it from a friend who was in an LJRP I was in, and she encouraged me to try it. I was still in high school at the time, and very frankly I did not have the dedication necessary to complete it. I got a lot of worldbuilding complete, but very little writing. I got about two pages of prose, and three notebooks of character and setting history, as well as a fairly detailed outline. I still have all of this.

The second time I attempted was in 2009, for a story that is based heavily on the Iron&Wine song ‘Boy With a Coin’. I got a little bit further, but I got stuck in a few places. I think it’s because my idea was bigger than my life experience, and I also got stuck in a lot of small details. Additionally, my first Word document (where I got about two chapters in?) was destroyed when my laptop’s hard drive just straight gave up on life - I did buck up and rewrite quite a bit, though it didn’t sing quite the same notes, and I have this handwritten copy still. (It’s possible I tried again with this same project the year after? I don’t remember tbvh)

My third attempt was in 2011, about a goverment operative and a faun. This one I got the furthest, and I still have the original handwritten draft and the typed copy. I pantsed this one, 100%. To this day, I still don’t know how this story ends, but I’d love to attempt a rewrite someday.

Then, unfortunately, from around 2012 until Fall of last year, I stopped writing period. I was in a real bad situation, and just didn’t have the energy for anything, let alone a novel. My most recent experience with Nano as an organization was Camp Nano, which is a much looser structure, and it is in May and July. Rather than the hard and fast 50k, you set your own goal when you announce your project.

I can understand your hesitance to participate, honestly. Nano is a beast of a project – to reach the minimum goal of 50k in the 30 allotted days, you have to produce 1667 words of new content every single day. This is approximately 3 pages, maybe a little more – which is a lot when you’re already stressed! And if you miss a day you have to adjust your daily totals for every following day, and the pressure starts to mount! It’s a lot, even if it is only meant to be a neat little challenge (mostly, I’ll cover benefits a bit later).

Now, my recommendations are going to follow two paths: planning, and pantsing. If you are naturally a planner – that is, you like having rough outlines, refined outlines, you like having character data, history, etc – then I recommend you have as much of your novel planned ahead of time before November 1st hits. Whatever notes or files you need to have set aside before you begin writing those first words, have them ready – read over them, refine them, and have them memorized front to back so that you know what your story is meant to be. If you are a natural planner, and you have not done this by today’s date (it’s 30 October where I am), then I do not recommend participating this year because it will stress you the fuck out and you might even make yourself sick.

The other popular option is called pantsing – essentially, you have a rough idea, and you’re flying by the seat of your pants. (This is literally what it is called on the Nano website, by the by – there are badges for it and everything.) If you are a pantser, then I still recommend a little preparation, but of a wildly different degree and type: find your story’s ambiance. If you are a pantser, think about what sparked the idea for your story? Try to put yourself back in the place (emotionally or physically) where you had the most intense version of the idea, and hang onto that feeling with both hands. This is incredibly important, because it will allow you to harken back to that feeling without chasing the high of first being hit by that feeling. If you are a pantser, focus heavily on the feelings you want to evoke with your story, and let your heart guide you.

Now the third option (I know what I said, I lied all right) is if you are a combination planner-pantser; you don’t want to have the rigidity of the outline, but you also like having a little bit of structure, or at least a direction to go in. If you are a combination planner-pantser, I recommend doing very soft preparation for yourself in the week leading up to Nano. So things like building yourself a playlist, maybe doodle what your main looks like in your head, or small details like character names and short dossiers. If you’re able, I recommend coming up with an ending, so you know what the end-goal looks like and you are able to track your story’s completion in your head.

For all three, I would recommend deciding ahead of time how you want to write your novel – are you going to type it up in a word processor (please make so many backups, do not live the heartache that I had to)? Are you going old school and hand writing it? Are you feeling like a boss that day and maybe want to dictate it into an app on your phone? Pick one, and make a dedicated space for your novel. You can mix them up, certainly, but make sure that you are able to consolidate effectively or you’re going to stress yourself out.

Now, you asked whether or not it has to be a “new” project. There are actually a few answers to this, depending on what you mean. Now, if we are to assume that “new” strictly means a brand new, fresh idea that you have just come up with specifically for National Novel Writer’s Month 2020, then the answer is no; it does not. Back in the day, there were a few purists that insisted you had to have a designated project every year, but like most purists, they’re just being assholes about it.

As a matter of fact, it does not even have to be a brand new project that you have not written any words for at all – however, if you do have an idea that you have already written for, you are not permitted to use any of your previous word count toward your goal. This is definitely a no-no. Personally, I’ve tried this, and I found it rough – I liked having the designated project, and I liked the buildup to it.

If you have, though, an idea that you’ve worked over and you are simply ready to start putting words on a page, this, I think, is Nano’s sweet spot.

Now, I know most of this 1000+ answer has been cautioning and reminders that Nano is tough – because, well, it is. It is a huge undertaking, and I feel like every participant has their horror stories to tell about their experience. But I want to reassure you that it isn’t 100% a hard slog to a dreary end; there are so many tools that Nano themselves provide you, as well as user-run communities and workshops, and even some benefits after the fact. These are the things I want to wrap this post up with.

Firstly, no matter how tired or stressed you are, if you register for nanowrimo.org, you’ll begin receiving daily emails from published authors and past participants. These range from silly and tedious, to incredibly comforting. My favorite one, which I cannot remember a lot of specifics from, was from a man who detailed his experience and reassured everyone that the work doesn’t have to be good – it just has to be 50k words. That’s it. You can have typos and errors all over the place, plot holes of all shapes and sizes, and a main character who doesn’t make any sense at all; it doesn’t matter, because the point of the event is simply to finish. Neil Gaiman has also said a time or two that your first draft’s only purpose is to exist. Just get the words out; you can fix them later.

Additionally, when you are completing your profile, you can enter in your location and there are designated forums for participants in your area. In the past, there have been meetups for group-writes and workshops as well, though I imagine they will be more along the lines of Discord calls this year. If you are a social person who needs a pair of eyes to help you work through a scene, Nano’s got your back. They will also send you statistics for your area for the average word count, daily word count, past winners, etcetera. It can sometimes feel like you are very alone during this difficult project, but a lot of these things bring a very human element to the event.

Finally, what comes after you have completed. A lot of these benefits are newer than my time, but I browsed through them when I did my Camp Project. When you complete the goal in the allotted time, you get a neat little badge for your webpage and a printable certificate for the immediate boost of dopamine. But you will also get discounts to some neat shit, like different word processing applications (I got 50% off of Scrivener when I finished Camp), as well as things like The Great Courses, discounts in the swag store, etc. But more than that, there are partnering websites who want to help you on the road to being published. Wattpad is in this group, but I believe also big name publishers (I might have seen Penguin on there at one point) are willing to work with winners to get their works distributed.

All that said, I recommend every writer attempt Nano at least once in their writing career. Even if I personally have not done so stellar in the past, it is a fantastic learning experience for all of the work that goes into producing a novel from start to finish – it forces you to know your limits, and sometimes to overcome them. I don’t think I will be participating this year – I have so many side projects that I want to get done, but I will very likely drop everything to do it next year. I have two novels that are real roughly built up that I could do for this, though, and I would love the dedicated time to spend on them.

[kanene-yaaay]

Reasons to Smile

Kanene's Notes: 

Reasons to smile:

Today wasn't a sunny day, and I wake up early, which was pretty cool so that way I had time to finally finish my fanfic and post it. Oh, I have internet, and this is also awesome, since I can show this fanfic and talk with you all because of it. And the fun thing about Sun is that is okay the fact that it wasn't showing up a lot today because you guys alone are enough to light up my day and warm my heart. So thank you for being here and being so strong in these tough times, my lollipop!

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Roman!Patton and Ler!Patton/Ler!Virgil/Ler!Roman (It can be seen as Romantic or Platonic LAMP/CALM). 

*Hmmm… This is a Tickle-Fanfic! If you don’t like this kind of stuff, please look for another blog, there are plenty of amazing art in this site!! ‘u’).

* Something around 4.500 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* I'm very happy I finally managed to finalize this fanfiction! I made an personal goal to make to each one of the Light Sides a tickle fic focused on them specifically (Virgil = Vulnerable; Logan = It started when... ; Patton = Patton has a secret) and that was the last one! I'm already starting another project which I hope to post soon, so donut worry! I will be opening my Ask Box for prompts, however I will make a post about it, soon! <3

* E a versão em português brasileiro! 

* Masterpost in case you wanna see my others works! <3

*Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Watch a fun video, read a good story, talk with the one that you love and drink water! Byeioo!~

                          [~*~]

Roman felt he was the least heroic hero from all the Mind Palace. It was horrible, like a sensation which seemed to start in his chest, in that deepest part of him where the soul is, and began to spread through all his body. First his throat, making it dry and with tons and tons of lost words never said, then it went to his stomach, leading it to weight as much as his legs, which didn’t felt have any strength left to stand or move in any direction; his eyes looked as dikes about to broke and flood everything in they way, and, in the end, he didn’t felt any cold, however this didn’t stopped him from drow himself in tons of comforters and teddy bears just like he currently was.

As he said before: Not even a drop of heroism.

 The soft, warm pile moved some time later as the prince emerged from it, not completely healed, but at least a little better after the nap he had. His hand moved with a flourish in the air, summoning Crofter’s, because he was addicted to this jelly after the musical video, and started to eat, feeling his face getting dirty with his own clumsy actions already inserted in his being.

 Jelly on his face, messy hair, tired, sleepy eyes… Yep, definitely these were the ‘royal days’ which any Fairy Tale ever utter. None chapter mentioning, explaining how were the thousands of days in the tower waiting, dreaming; not a page dedicated to the lonely afternoons wandering through the forest in seek of a beauty lady with skin pale as snow, or even some phrases about the months surrounded and arrested in himself that Maui had to struggle and neither three or four verses about all the sleepless nights watered in guilty that the Beast had gone through.

 Perhaps, it was because in the end…

 - Nobody cares that much. - The words sounded even tougher when left his lips and Roman felt himself squirm as if it had inflicted a physical blow. He shook his head, knowing very well the bottomless well he was burying himself into.

 He took a deep breath and opened the desk drawer picking up the old-looking folder, with a single draw of a feather outlined with glitter in its cape. He leaned on the bed’s headboard and opened the emergency folder for ‘heroic moments not so heroic of life’ as he liked to call it.

 There were all that intimate stories. The ones we do just for ourselves. The arts in which we are inserted in the world that we chose in the way we wish… Stories with a plot very much deeper that the one traced on papers and the chats and scenes which that had already been turned over, reinvented and transformed again and again and again in the mind of the creative aspect. Took a good sip of air and released slowly in the paper with doodles at the edges. The traces and dialogues started to float from them and dance in the wind, recreating, reorganizing and materializing themselves in the characters, places and contexts previously determined. His trace was light and clear, seeming to flow slightly and naturally with the wind as his room began to take a form of a magnificent forest.

 Roman observed the stories unfold before him, sporadically remembering the jokes he had written much longer ago and the trail each action leaded the character. He remembered also the ideas he had when wrote every single one of these words and how much happy he was just by the simple fact he was putting them on lines, without even realizing it Roman found himself with a small smile finding way to his features along with some salty drops pioneering trails down his cheeks and his hand centimeters away from the holograms, doomed to his destiny of always being capable to have any scenario, character and plot at his fingertips, but nothing more than that.

 His not so optimal thoughts were pulled out of him when laughter and teasing cut the place and almost automatically made a pleasant shivers ran across his body. Now a real smile took over his face without he even noticing it, his eyes attentive to every detail of the protagonist being pinned in the floor and attacked by his other two friends.

 Not a common attack, of course, because Roman could be anything but ‘common’. That, as the majority of the stories, which were in that folder, was a story developed around… tickling.

 So, nothing more fair than the principal character, being the hurried and naturally inattentive adventurer who he was (and because in the last day he had a problematic night) didn’t noticed that, when he went to land the ship he forgot to do the necessary procedures before it (he would need to question Logan about the functions from a ship’s painel control later) and because of that the automobile suffered severe damage by the time it hit the ground. Then, nothing more fair than, while the ship was being repaired, both of his best friends tickled him by the same amount of time (which, sure, was a lie, because they would stop immediately when noticed his ‘victim’ had researched his limit. However, the merely possibility of that happens and the teasing they directed towards him about this only made the entire situation more ticklish and playful.)

 (What? It was like said: the thing put on the paper is only the beginning of the whole iceberg behind the plot.)

 When a story was over, the words returned floating to the paper where they belonged, the scribbles being again fixed, and then Roman took another one and brought it to life, sometimes closing his eyes in order to concentrate even more on the laughter and try to visualize fingers dancing in his most ticklish spots.

 Just the thoughts about it leaded to ghost sensations ran across his entire spine. The papers fell with each story that ended and floated gracefully to the ground, because, later he would busy himself with the task of tidying up all that mess.

 Later.

 (~*~)  

He left his room, already having organized it and saved his little folder back to its original place (one story was missing, probably lost in some corner of his forest. He would care about this another day, though. He was tireeeeeed.). He was interrupted some quick times by Thomas seeking to discuss new goals and dreams they could perceive in the next moths and someday in the future, which made him to be late for the dinner and, consequently, his entire routine after meal, and it was for that reason which at ten at night the aspect of passion and creativity was washing his clothes for the next video, that may or may not would be in the morning. Something which made him almost pray to not rain in the next day so he wouldn’t need to take his vestments to dry in the forest in his room. 

 Since it was almost IMPOSSIBLE to find anything by own will and not literally tripping over them (Not that this ever happened before with his teddy bear which went there to take some sunlight after a particularly strong storm in the Mind Place. Pffff. Of course not. Prince doesn’t stumble, or have teddy bear neither!! Who told you that??)  in that indomitable world just as the creativity...

 Wait…

 Ah, that was why this world was his room and he is the aspect of creativity and… aaahh! Now the things made sense...

 My goshly gosh, now he was beginning to look for logic in the pieces of his routine. OK. Red alert. Abort Mission! Sad days made him WAY too philosophical and like Logan. Abort Mission!

 His foot leaded him to the living room, letting the washing machine do its job, his mind in a battle to decide which Disney to watch and which ones had duration just a bit longer than the washing process. His eyes landed in the television and his body froze for a piece of second.

 “Reasons to smile today”

 That's what the paper stuck to the device's screen said. It was a notebook’s common paper, the words scribbled a bit stronger than the necessary amount, however this wasn’t the cause of the guardian of dreams and passion stop in the way to his happiness.

 And yes what that phrase meant.

 It was a Logan’s idea (amaze!) which emerged in a particularly difficult period for Thomas.

 It was really simple, to be honest: every day all the sides got together, more specifically in the breakfast, and told at least one reason to smile and look forward that day. Usually it was Patton who listed more than half of the reasons in almost every meetings, them being memories, peoples or places, e that constantly managed to rip out a good smile and that warm, cozy feeling in their chest.

 But, when the moral aspect was feeling too much down for the activity, Roman always jumped with a good future, those where all their dreams were accomplished, Logan always brought some good memories and neutral facts and Virgil always came with someone. One supported the other and vice versa.

 Those were really tough moments, nevertheless also were the moments which consolidated them as a famILY.

 The royal member held de paper, the entire room bathed in a silence in which he could swear to amplificate his heartbeats. It was possible to notice there was something written in the back of it, so he turned it.

 “Your unwavering courage.”

 The lights went off and two hands digged in his sides, a scream getting stuck in his throat and his reflexes to punch what touched him was equally restrained by THAT specific sensation.

 - NAHAHAHAHAHA! – His laughter was quick to fill each piece of the silent before installed in the place, his own hands swinging from left to right without really managing to do something, completely different from the ones which attacked him, each single finger mixing between wriggling, kneading, trembling and giving an extra special attention to every inch it could research. He quivered, his legs weakening with the flow of laughter. - WHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOHOHOHOHOHO I-I-IS - A particularly mean poke in his lowest rib made his voice to fail, a new shade of blush painting his features. - ACK! - An amused snort could be heard from behind him, the tickling fingers found the new sound interesting and now spent their time slowly spidering up and down his ribs. Light, quick and crazy tickles dancing and spreading with each touch. - nahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 He knew this game, knew how to play it. He just needed to find out who was attacking him. Whilst his squirming, his hands tried to hold or touch anything from who was behind him. A hint. Any hint.

 Roman grabbed a wrist. It was uncovered, but there was fabric right behind it. Just one of them wore clothes long-sleeved - His thoughts seemed to run and vanish as fast as the squeaks and yelps between his hearty laughter - Just one of them wore vestments long-sleeved…

 The unknown wrist released itself from his hold, quickly deviating its attention to his upper ribs. His legs weakened and he fell in the ground, the tickling following all his moves and don’t stopping to attack him with light kneads and pinches, even with all his fighting.

 - Anahahahahahahahah-anahahahahaha!!! - His eyes closed in attempt to focus for the name slip already, but his laughter seemed to control all his breath and mind. -ANXIEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHETY! NAHAhahahaha!!

 The fingers slowed down, almost stopping, which allowed the aspirant of royalty finally take some deep quick, delightful breathes, his low and wobbly giggles intertwined with fast squeals being fed up by two index fingers that still poking and lightly teasing that exact spot that connect his armpits and ribs.

 - Thahahahahank Beyohohohohcé.

 - Tsc. - The purple aspect clicked his tongue and even though everything was bathed into darkness, Roman could perfectly imagine the expression in the other’s face. A sharp look. A marvelous smirk. Uh oh - We work with names here, Squeaky Princey.

 F U C-

 - Nononohohoho! wAHAHAHAHAHAIT- He even attempted to escape, sure, but was already giggling even before the hands came back to his sides in full speed. His laughter exploded from his lips, his legs and arms also dancing and struggling without any real effort and his eyes closing tightly.

 This jerk had told his name a few days ago and KNEW that none of them has get used to call him by that yet. He  k n e w.

 - YOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOUR STUHUHUHUHUUHUHUHP-NO! WHAHAHAHAHAHA-WHAHAHAHAHAIT!! - Snort. More high-pinched uncontrollable laughter. Squeal. More laughter. Did one of them belong to the emo side or did he imagined it? - LEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHET ME T-T-THIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHINK!!!

 Roman could feel the name in the tip of his tongue, somewhere between his loud and attention demanding crackles. Yes, right there, between his bright, mesmerizing smile and that warmth in his chest that seemed to spread through all across his face. He felt like would melt at any moment. Since when his smile could get this big?

 - VIRHIHIHIHIHIHIHIGIL!!! IT IHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIS VIRGIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIL!!!

 - Ding ding ding. – The lights went on again and the royal aspect deposited his hands on the floor, his remain giggles flowing from his mouth as those butterflies and that cozy sensation kept flying in his stomach. - Strike.

 - Yohohohou will feel my rahahahahag- However, when he turned, blushed features and teary eyes, to see the fear in his enemy's face as he uttered his promise of vengeance, the prince only found nothing. A gigantic piece of void where the purple one should be standing. The sheet preserved itself in the ground, calm and plain, in the same position he had left it, as it mocked about all the mess that happened seconds ago.

 - Who are you looking at, subject? - But the sparkles in his eyes removed any heat of his words.

He went to the laundry and now headed to his room. Being completely honest, he didn't felt a single drop of will to sleep right now, the previous ‘attack’ continued as a mystery. Of course, they all were extremely close, but... tickles? It have been a long time since this artifice was used among them. It was something almost as old as that phrase or that game…

 Ok. Something was smelling really strange here.

 Maybe it was his new cologne which- No, wait, Roman! Focus, focus!

 Maybe it was…

 An adventure.

 And what kind of royalty he would be if he denied an adventure?

 Unsheathed his sword and kept his track to his room, confident and brave footsteps echoing in the hallway.

 A quick and muffled ‘thump’ could be heard from his room, which automatically activated all the instincts from the extra side, because of that, in a matter of few seconds the wooden object was already being thrown in the ground by a smiley Roman, who managed to support himself in the only feet that didn’t hurted, since apparently, knocking -ha!- a door down with one (or more, shhh) kick can have consequences (How he was supposed to know?).

 - BOW TO YOUR PRINCE AND MAY I DECIDE TO SPARE YOU! - His heroic pose was totally ignored, because the place was empty. His eyes analyzed each corner and each shadow, without really finding anything that give the slightest tip that any other life being beyond him even stepped there. 

 And then his gaze bumped in a shiny, polished black shoe, half completely hidden under his bed, making a danger joyful grin to spread in his features. All his shoes were Disney tematic and had their own day and outfit and any of them had this shade of black.

 (Maybe the Ursula’s one was the one that looked more like, but even with this in mind it was very distinguishable the difference between a dark-purple and a basic dark, please!)

 His footsteps leaded him quietly, a perfect contrast with all the shouting from pieces of time ago. He slowly bent down, prepared to grab the shoe and whoever was wearing it and…

 - HA! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD TRICK M- Good point: The shoe came easily out. Bad point: it was because it was empty, which was the reason for his glorious victory statement being, and and very rudely by the way, interrupted. Roman indignantly scoffed; he refused to let the victory escape so easily through his fingers! He was the embodiment of dreams, persistence and hope and he. wouldn’t. give. up. so. easily!!

 Inflated by his own enthusiasm, the royal side knelt down, noticing only a paper on the floor in a place a little further under his bed. Just a little crawl was necessary to solve the problem, with a gleam of determination in his glare Roman firmly held the hint, excitedly bouncing his legs, the only part of his body that wasn’t covered by the furniture.

 "Your persistence and mind of an untamed nature."

 Before he could even process a bit more the meaning contained in the words, which apparently were a continuation from previous paper, the prince felt a strong arm embrace his ankles, his shoes being removed with a slowly calm that didn’t related with the adrenaline which exploded in himself and now across his arteries. His ‘mind of an untamed nature’ understanding exactly what was about to happen and finding zero ways to run away from his fate.

 - NO!!! Don’t you dare!! - One of his shoes fell with a muffled hit on the ground. - I-I… hehehe…! - Giggles began to took over his throat. His other shoe fell as well, a cold, excited shiver ran down his spine. - No!! - A finger lightly positioned itself in the exact center of his feet, all his nerves vibrated in expectation. - NononononNo!

 The finger started to scratched softly, its nail slided without a single bit of hurry across his feet in a move that went from the tip of his toes to his heel, just to add another finger in the movement and calmly repeat the pattern over and over and over and over… Until all his five stupid tickly fingers were tickling him.

 Roman tried to escape from the gap in his ankle, his eyes as tighten as his lips, refusing to brake his barrier.

 The one who ‘attacked’ changed his technique a few times, going from circular motions to quick scribbles, however, he hasn’t rewarded with more than some muffled squeaks and snorts from the other. The fingers moved away, giving Prince time enough to recover profusely his breath, almost don’t hearing the soft humming which filled the air for some little pieces of heartbeats.

 Roman already had the name in the tip of his tongue. The letter alone was enough of a clue, albeit… the possibility to finish with the playing caused a part of himself to quiver sadly. He didn’t wished to end with this moment… No… In truth…

 He didn’t wanted this feeling to end. A feeling that made him excited, electric, feeling like he could run fifty kilometers nonstop. This sentiment, which automatically produced a smile in his features and made he really believes, realizes that he was…

 Was loved.

 Perhaps it was this the reason that his mouth opened even before his brain processed his provocation, challenger tune that impregnated his next words:

 - Há! My dear enemy! Your faux fighting techniques would never be able to defeat a prince like mí! - The creativity side could feel the anticipation, the danger sign glowing in a bright red, and launched his final card: his cocky laughter (and extremely natural. Of course, he never trained hours and hour in a diversity of tunes and expressions in front of his mirror. Humpft. Of course not. That was one of princes’ natural gifts.) of victory.

 The same that was interrupted seconds after by the twenty nails that scratched the absurdly, extremely ticklish skin under his toes. Roman could swear that not even in his years of theater he managed to achieve this high tune.

 - Ohohohohoh! NohohohohohOHOHOHOhohohoho! – His head shook desperately, his legs bouncing and fight for their lives and freedom, his laughter, now breathless and full of half pleas of mercy, dancing through his room.

 A part of himself, one which wasn’t maddened with all this tickling, all the fingers that attacked merciless every little centimeter of his feet and his reverberated laughter, fought against his flight instincts, leading the whole scribbles, pokes and wriggles to find the minimum of resistance as possible (Not that the Tickler will ever know it, sure.)

 - PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEE - A nail found a very particularly sensible spot right under his big toe releasing a series of snorts and yelps throughout his already uncontrollable, wobbly laughter. The tickling was unbearable, but in a very different, more lightly, way than the previous attack, and that was making him crazy. - PleasepleasepleAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSEHEHEHE!! NAHAHAHAhahahahHAHAHAHahahahahaHAHAHAHA!!

 Roman persisted for a few more seconds, his entire body, despite the tickles being focused in just one place, squirmed. He only allowed the name to slip for his tongue when his laughter and giggles, it depended from the spot and apparently his ‘enemy’ wasn’t satisfied in choose just one, started to steal his breath. His hand hit the cold floor of his room.

 - LOGAN!!! IHIHIHIHIHIHIHIT IS Lohohohhohohohogan!!

 The tickles were decreasing until finally stop, making the tingles in his soles not as intense as the that took over his ribs and sides before in the living room. Roman, in the exact moment, which felt the gap in his ankle to weaken, pulled his feet closer, rubbing them.

 - Undoubtedly correct. - It could be his tickled mind pranking him, but the dreamer could swear he heard a hint of amusement in the other’s voice. It didn’t took longer for the prince to catch the characteristic sound of sinking, which resulted him quickly attempting to get out of under the bed to reach the one with glasses, after all, their battle hadn’t  ended yet!!

 - Wait right there! Don’t you freaking dare to- And, once again, his sentence was interrupted. Now for a little snort that flied from his lips when the logic aspect ran softly his fingers at his feet, making the prince to retract in defense, giving him time enough to disappear with a smirk, half joyful and half cocky, adorning his face.

 Roman really tried to be angry, but how much heated was his features and how much euphoric he was in the moment proved this action to be a little more difficult, which definitely wouldn’t aplacate his future revenge, of course.

 Now, though, his only plan was to take a shower and then sleep. For that he forced his tired body to get up and head his bathroom, part smiling and part yawning. He opened his door and stretched, feeling his bones to crack and muscles to relax.

 And then his gaze found the paper stuck in the mirror above his sink, his instinct screaming in a red alert for knowing very well the next step in this game.

 - NO! - Maybe it was the tiredness, however, before he could turn around to try to stop the attack a pair of hands hit in his armpits, something that made his legs automatically to fail and every and any coherent thought be tossed away from his brain to a far far away. The laughter already falling in great waterfalls from his mouth.

 - PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHADREHEHE! - His real laughter, that specific one that only appears when his most ticklish spot is being attacked with the most ruthless tickles, was loud, thunderous  and definitely an easy sound to be noticed from miles away, Roman almost could feel his blush to spread across his neck just imagining Logan and Virgil smiling as heard him reverberate around the house.  – NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 - Ooooooh? - Patton’s playfully tune would be definitely impossible to hear if he wasn’t so close of his ears, his words leading to even more tickles and shivers in the other. - It seems that our little pretty prince here is ticklish? Coothie coothie coo! Oh, no! What are you gonna do? Huh? Huh? What our powerful, brave Prince Roman will do to escape from the Tickle Monster? Huh? Huh? Kitty Kitty Coo! My dear and ticklish prince!!

 - NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO TEASIHIHIHIHIHIHIIHIHING, PAHAHAHAHAHATTON!

 The creativity’s embodiment trashed back and forth, his head shaking, perhaps in attempts to remove all the red in his face, maybe trying to dislodge those fingers that poked, kneaded, drummed and tickled every available skin they could research. Tears began to accumulate in the corner of his eyes,

 And, even with all his effort, his conscient parte still struggled against his instincts to escape and making him to get as close to the moral aspect as possible, almost laying on him.

 - But how could I ever stop when knowing that this give me access to all these cute squeals? - A poke in the right place and Roman exemplified his words. Patton giggled. - Not mentioning this wonderful and melodious laugher, Roman! It is adorable!!! - The paternal side seemed as happy as he did, the royalty aspirant could feel their laughter in harmony, and maybe (maybe, only!) his heart had melted a little. Or it was just his tears falling from his eyes, his mind was a mess, okay? Don’t ask for details nor logic.

 His laughter, high pinch squeals, snorts and breathless giggles endured for some more minutes before Roman pushed himself forward, laughing a plea to stop, which the one who wears cardigan promptly answered. They leaned against the wall, feeling the cold of the concrete aplacate the heat of the remaining giggles.

 For some seconds both stayed in silence, calming down.

 - Whahahat did you write?

 - Huh? - Patton blinked a few times, leaving his thoughts and staring the other with a stunning smile.

 - In the paper. I couldn’t read… And I expected a honest attack from you, padre! Attacking enemies from behind is very immoral!

 - Hehehehe! - Genuine smile, hands up as an act of surrender. - Anything goes in love and war.

 - Really bold words for someone so close from my fingers! - Roman showed an evil grin, punctuating each one of his words with pokes in the other’s belly, making him squirming in a sea of quick giggles, pushing his hands.

 - You stop right there, mister! - Protested, his glare assuming a paternal glint. - Tomorrow we have a video to record and we need to sleep early! Thomas will need his creativity radiant and rested!

 The prince whined, hands moving in exaggerated gestures and laying dramatically on the floor, following with his eyes as a smiling Patton stood up and pulled the paper from the mirror.

 - Ah! I wrote: ‘Your golden heart!’, but I think I should have written about your stories! - Roman felt his blood freeze, a quick flashback from the morning passing before his eyes. The holograms, flying scenarios, sheets falling, Thomas calling him to do something, the lost paper… - They’re amazing and give really ncredible ideas.

 His face suddenly looked as if it had been set on fire and for the first time in a long time the prince found himself speechless while the one with the glasses deposited the paper in his hands, kissed his forehead, wishing ‘Good night~’ before getting out, humming softly and disappeared from the other’s vision.

 Roman buried his face in his hands, grunting in frustration, which wasn’t too much easy to do when a smile from ear to ear looked to be stuck in his features.

 Yes, they had gave him a plenty of reasons to smile.

 Maybe it was for that reason that most of the stories didn’t told about these days, these moments… Perhaps because they were from such great and strong heroism that it was almost impossible to be entirely put in just one plot.

 And it was for that reason that Roman, while sitting on his bed, pencil and paper in hands, wanted to be the first one to do so.

[dearophelia]

Lol duh. Gonna ask about Dropsonde.

I adore you. I’m gonna answer them all because I’m that person. Also includes 6-8 for @swaps55! Thank you both!! [dropsonde (singers in a lower choir remix)]

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

For the original? I think it was a half-baked scene that came to me while I was on vacation in Florida. I remember scribbling it down in a notebook and then going to town when I got back home. I threw a bunch of time-skips in there because, frankly, I didn’t want to write small children. I do not blame 2007 Sara for this. She was a wise human.

For the revamp? A cascading domino effect started in last October and resulted in my mental health going entirely sideways for eight solid months. Literally nothing was working to screw my head on straight again: not meds, not therapy, not yoga, not getting my sleep and food under control, literally nothing. I think it was around early June when I realized the hallucinations weren’t going away this time (and perhaps had never really left) and I hit the end of my rope. Luckily, my great pal Aly texted me out of the blue with the fact that she’d fallen face-first back down a Grey’s black hole. We got to talking about our various fics we’d both written, how nostalgic we were for them, and I re-opened the OneNote notebook I had for this. Started writing, didn’t look back.

I'm not gonna say that I’m stable again as a result (I’m really not), but I’ve written like 30k words in the last three weeks, which is the most I’ve written since August of last year, and it’s something to do and think about that isn’t pure doom and panic. It makes me happy, and makes me happy in a way that doesn’t include caveats or exceptions; there’s nothing else in my life right now that’s just happy. It’s helping.

2: What scene did you first put down?

For the original, it was the one at the beginning of (the original) chapter 2, where Addison’s finishing up Goodnight Moon for the nine-hundredth time. For the remix, it was the actual opener: where Addison finds someone else’s shoes in her apartment.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

Later, when the snow has turned into rain and they've even managed a round three, Addison curls up against his chest, tangling their legs together. She smiles. She'd been using dead reckoning to make it out of her storms her entire life. Now she has a lighthouse.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

"Your storm is a natural disaster. It's chaotic and wild and unpredictable and often the only thing I can do is hang on. But that storm brought me you. That storm brought me love and a future I didn't see a path to." His fingers coast across her bare shoulders, mapping constellations out of freckles. "And if I'm the lighthouse in your storm, then I promise you to stay standing and lit, because I need you to know the way home from your storm, Ads. To me."

5: What part was hardest to write?

I remember the original sort of effortlessly flying out of my fingertips. What’s been challenging about the rewrite is filling in all the little gaps the original left; writing the spaces between the facts. Don’t get me wrong - that has been fun as hell, but also challenging because I have to remember the voices of these characters I haven’t checked in on in over a decade.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

IT’S MY WARM COMFY BLANKET UNIVERSE. It also...it does not have a plot. There are pieces of plot to it, but there’s not an overarching plot or anything. It’s not a mission, it’s not a rescue, it’s not anything that has plot-based structure. It’s just life. I hate plot, I hate it, it’s the worst. This lets me write shit in a world I like and not care about what happens next because life just be like that sometimes.

7: Where did the title come from?

2007 Sara was an idiot and really liked formatting her chaptered fics by snagging an album and making each chapter title a track on the album. Even if the album didn’t remotely fit (even better if it didn’t, because she thought she was such a musical snob. she was not. she was full of crap). “dropsonde” is an album by the trance group Biosphere (and I hate it. I think I hated it back then, too). It’s also a hurricane tracking tool. So that’s a weird legacy to have to work with.

The revamp’s remix title comes from Leonard Cohen, because 2020 Sara is a pretentious asshole and owning it. Book of Mercy 1: In a transition so delicate it cannot be marked, the court is established on beams of golden symmetry, and once again I am a singer in the lower choirs, born fifty years ago to raise my voice this high and no higher.

That line gives me so much life and hope: I don’t have to try to sing higher. I don’t have to reach for other octaves, I don’t have to try to shove myself into a space that isn’t Sara-shaped, and in fact I should not. Because I was born to sing in this Sara-shaped choir and it would be insulting to myself and to the creators to insinuate that this Sara-shaped choir was not made for me. The space you inhabit is holy because it is yours. As much a reminder for me as it is for the characters.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

I don’t think I grabbed anything from actual reality? I may have. Especially in the original prequel/second part/whatever we’re calling Shenzhou, when I was grasping at straws for ideas and wrote a few really random scenes just to fill up space.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Not of the fic itself, but this Rachel Montgomery is definitely the same Rachel Montgomery in gonna set your flag on fire. 

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Because it was 2007, I was writing fic instead of doing homework, and Addison/Alex was very much about to become a thing after being teased for a whole fucking season. Missed opportunities: the goddamn ship. I’m still mad.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

It’s fun. It makes me happy. And I don’t care about what anyone thinks about it - there are no expectations, I’m not trying to live up to “oh god I hope it’s good enough for so-and-so” (which, yknow, is bullshit anyway, but is how my brain was working on gonna set your flag on fire). It’s completely free from strings. So I can do what I want. Who cares. 

12: What do you like least about this fic?

It’s real fuckin’ long and I’m real fuckin’ long-winded. I’m about 30k in and Rachel’s not even one yet. Hot yikes.

But, on the plus side, as part of the “who gives a shit, do what you want” mentality, I’ve broken out of the “oh god I have to write the other side of this, I have to keep x topic going.” No, no I really don’t. It’s an Addison story, it’s always been an Addison story, I just didn’t realize that 13 years ago. It’s an Addison story and everyone else is window dressing that can come and go as the sun requires it.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

oh boy, here have an eight-hour playlist

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

plot is overrated. write what you want.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

I learned how much I’ve improved as a writer in 13 years. Part of this experiment was to shut down the “you’re not a good writer, you suck, no one likes you, everyone’s just tolerating you” voice that has plagued me for my entire life and got a lot louder at the end of last year because of Reasons. That voice is still trying really hard, but it doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on when I can point to a scene I wrote in 2007 and then the exact same scene written in 2020 and see just how much better it is now.

[7wanderingpaws]

Writing quiz tag

Thank you so much @jj-nyoung for tagging me ^^

Rules: complete the quiz and tag 5 people

Oki! Here I go!

1. What is your ideal setting for focusing on your writing?

I don’t necessarily have an ideal setting, preferably I want to be alone because I tend to talk without me realizing it (to try how dialogues sound or I’m thinking out loud haha) and that can scare people but either late nights or early mornings work for me the best!

2. What is your favorite genre to write?

Fluff, angst and mystery! I also want to challenge mature content... 😅😳

3. Do you prefer to write on paper or digitally?

Digitally. But years ago I had notebooks full of stories. And I literally mean countless notebooks and any free space on my notes for school would be filled with my writings lol. I couldn’t write on a pc before, was too impersonal (sweet times)

4. It’s the middle of the night and you suddenly wake up with an idea. What do you do?

I had couple of times when I wrote it down in my notes app but otherwise I tell myself I would write it down later and ofc never remember it in the morning

5. Who is your favorite person to write about?

Honestly anyone who intrigues me but right now it’s Exo (mainly baekhyun)

6. Do you like making your own characters or do you usually write about real people?

Both. Writing can be difficult without experience, so I put tiny aspects of people I know into various characters but making up a person I have yet to meet is very exciting!

7. Have you ever written a book or a story with more than 15 chapters (or 100k words)?

Yes I have!

8. How often do you get ideas?

Every. Single. Day. Nonstop.

9. Do you really get an idea that you really like but, just can’t seem to finish?

Sigh. Yes I do, I have a story now that is yet to be uploaded on this blog, but I’m reluctant cause the ending doesn’t want to piece together in my brain and it’s devastating

10. What is your least favorite plot?

For me personally stories that have daddy kink, or brutality aren’t necessarily my cup of tea (but if the writing is good I read with one eye open) ^^

Erm this is a bit embarrassing but I don’t really have writer friends here... so I will tag people I know and blogs that I really love to read! Please forgive me if I bothered you with the tag! 🙏

I tag: @junilistic @exoat2am @mangobaek @kyoongaroo @baekingpancakes sorry again if you were tagged already! And No pressure with the tag game ☺️

[hallie-fics]

author spotlight - still_i_fall

He wants to forget how it felt to be hers for just one second.

- remember it’s all pretend @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right

one of the most prolific writers in the hallie fandom, @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right (still_i_fall) has graced us with classic after classic. i had an absolute blast talking with her, and hope you all enjoy the interview!

q&a

Hey! Thanks again for including me in this! Very excited to answer the questions. I love talking about myself. 

Favorite of your stories (and why)

I almost got stuck on this question. I really want to say remember it’s all pretend because I am so incredibly proud of that one. It was the first multi chapter fic that I ever properly finished and I feel like that really means something to me. I also really love that concept, and how it was able to fit in slowburn and enemies to friends to lovers and mutual pining plus a million other little tropes. And, most of all, it was really fun to write. It happened really easily. It’s something I’ll go back to sometimes if I’m ever in the mood to reread my own work. 

But I also love this new thing that I just wrote called i just wanna dance with you. I think if I can pull it off, it could be something really amazing. I was able to write the first chapter in about a week and had a ton of fun doing it. And I really love writing Harry’s pov and just switching things up a little. Ugh, I really love the idea of hallie meeting/knowing each other as little kids and I think that’s pretty apparent in these two fics. 

Easiest story to write

I’ll stop the world (and melt with you) happened really quickly which I guess qualifies it as easy to write. I thought it’d be more difficult just because so much of it is dependent on canon which is something I’m not entirely used to, but it ended up going to fast. I think somewhere I still have a page of notes on that Prom episode and everything that happens to Allie and Harry. I really wanted to include pieces of dialogue from the show. 

I also think it was because I used to do this thing when I was bored where I’d think about who I’d want to be trapped in a Groundhog day like loop with and what’d I’d do. It was just this recurring thought/ daydream I had when I was younger so it’s definitely a situation that I’ve thought through a little. 

Hardest story to write

The taste, the touch, the way we love has been a pain in the ass to write right from the start. Sometimes it’s really fun, but I think I’ve been sticking way too close to the outline I drew at the very start and have been avoiding writing it for too long. Sometimes I absolutely love to write it and have the time of my life, and other times I hate it. There’s not much of an in between. Still definitely want to finish it. Just waiting on that final bit of inspiration. 

Pre-writing process

I’m all about doing a full outline. Usually. With most longer fics (anything I think will be over 6,000 words), I do a full outline where I plan out the progression of the fic and specific scenes and pieces of dialogue. Usually, the plot hits me all at once and is usually the easiest part of the writing process for me. From that original outline, I usually have at least a few specific scenes fully planned out with pieces of dialogue and/or exposition. For example, for i’ll stop the world I started out the planning process with the introduction piece of the fic. That first paragraph is straight out of the note apps on my phone. A lot of the time it’ll end up being a bullet point list of main bits. I’ll use parentheses to specify the tone of a scene or little details and then use brackets for things that I want verbatim in the fic. 

But sometimes I end up with very little pre-planning. The skating au is kinda the only good example of this. I only had the roughest of outlines for that one (how i wanted the first chapter to start and end) and everything else just came together as I tried to get from point A to point B. 

What drew you to Hallie

The potential. They could have a really great story and I think that’s fun. There’s a lot of chemistry there and their dynamic is fun and, yeah, I think I’m a little too far in to get out now.

Favorite line (or lines)/ section you’re proud of

God, I have so many. Hope you don’t mind me going through them. It’s incredibly self indulgent but also gives me an excuse to go through my old works.

From the very first hallie fic I ever wrote, how you wish it would be all the time:

“And Harry's not perfect. He's not what she wanted before this all started or even really after, but everything's different now.”

Sometimes I forget about this fic, but I really shouldn’t cause there is a solid chance that this was my peak. And this line is really fun. 

From we kiss and we keep busy:

“The stars may have moved a little bit, but they’re still there, and they still look the same, and that’s good enough for her.”

I promise I’m not going through every hallie fic I’ve ever written but god I love this line. 

From i saved a picture where your hair was braided:

“It’s late nights and long talks and video games and cookie dough. It’s almost kisses, then definite kisses, and then not wanting to wake up anywhere but his bed. That’s how she starts to fall in love with Harry Bingham.”

Just that last part. That last line. The rest is just there for some fun context. Fun fact: this entire little mini fic was a desperate attempt to stave off writer's block and is based entirely around that single line in the song Donna by the lumineers. Still had a lot of fun with it, though.

From remember it’s all pretend:

“He wonders when she’ll realise that this hasn’t been pretend for him in years.    Probably never.    (He’d still run away with her.)”

“In the back of her mind, Allie wonders why she didn’t try harder to stay with Harry, why now she can only seem to fall in love in front of a camera where there’s the promise of pretend.”

“She likes to think that they’re still friends, that they’re just friends who don’t talk anymore, two people who drifted because one couldn’t handle the idea of change.”

This fic has a million little bits that I love. I could literally go on forever. It’s just full of that mutual pining angst that I live for. 

From but i close my eyes and i’m somewhere else:

“She did not mention this earlier because she was trying desperately hard to ignore it, but fuck, she’s really missed him calling her Pressman.”

“She wonders if Cassandra has any travel sized neck pillows.”

This fic is surprisingly good seeing as I don’t remember writing it at all. I was very much high on some sort of flu medication while writing this and I think that explains a lot about this fic. It’s fun, though. I really love the tone.

From the taste, the touch, the way we love:

“She starts to feel like she couldn’t avoid Harry if she wanted to (and somehow, as the days turn into weeks, she finds herself not wanting to more and more).”

“There’s saltwater in her eyes, hair, and mouth. Harry’s leaning back in it, floating. She is too. The water is blue, and warm, and the sky is clear. Sometimes his hand will grab hers just to pull her closer. When she thinks of calm, of happiness, and vacation, she’ll think of this moment.”

“They’re quiet for a moment. Maggie Rogers can be heard in the background, faded and slow. Harry’s tapping his fingers along to it on the wheel, eyes staring straight ahead. The road is lined with trees, and it all feels like home.”

“For a half a second, she thinks she loves him. She pushes that away and watches him throw wrapping paper behind him dramatically. She pushes it away and she smiles and she laughs and she tries not to think too hard about what all of this means.”

This fic definitely has its moments. I’m really excited to get the last part done and out, though. I just feel like I’ve spent too long on this fic. I want it done.

From i just wanna dance with you:

“Allie met Harry the same day Cassandra did. It was early in the morning and she was four and now, when she looks back, all she can remember from the moment is the vague outline of wild hair and a smile so bright and wide and carefree that it really can’t be anyone else’s.”

“She tries to remember that she likes skating with Will, that there’s no point in wondering what it’d be like if things were just a little bit different.”

“She lied earlier; gold, silver, bronze, doesn’t matter. Harry always looks good.”

“The first time he ever placed first in a competition, she was skating with him. He wonders how long he’ll associate the feeling of a gold medal around his neck with her hand in his. He hopes it’s not long. “

I’m so excited to finish this fic like you guys don’t even understand. It’s really fun and it feels easy to write (so far; knock on wood) and I love the concept. 

What type of Hallie stories do you like to write/read?

I only write au’s just because I think the rules are little different, everything’s just a little bit more relaxed. You’re allowed so much freedom when it’s a completely different universe and I really love that. I went through a phase recently where I was obsessed with canon divergence and this whole idea of a history of contingency. Just there being these points or moments where if one thing was just a little different, everything would’ve changed. I love that and I think that’s really apparent in my drafts/ unreleased wips. 

I’ll read anything, though. Especially with the Hallie ao3 page being so small. I do definitely have a preference still towards au’s, though.

How long have you been writing

For forever. As a kid, I’d fill up entire notebooks with story ideas. It was my favorite thing to do. When I was twelve, a teacher complimented my writing, and I think that really stuck with me. It’s just something I’ve always enjoyed doing. 

Do you ever worry about how your stories are received

Not really. A little bit with multi chapter stories just because I really want every chapter to be better than the last. I just really don’t want to disappoint anyone. 

What’s the hardest part of writing for you

The middle bits. I usually have a very clear idea of the beginning and end so it’s everything in between that I have trouble with. I think that’s why I’m so big on outlining.

Do you ever get writer's block and how do you deal with it

Oh my god all the fucking time! Right now, for example. Usually, I just try to work through it, especially if I have a project in progress. I also do a lot of reading to try to force some sort of inspiration. A lot of what I write is based on what I’m reading. I’ll also listen to music. And, recently, I’ve been making mood boards for my fics which has been so much fun. I really like looking at pretty pictures.

Biggest risk you’ve taken as a writer

Lol I don’t really take risks. I think the riskiest thing I do is post the first chapter of a story with none of the second chapter started. I do that a lot. 

Favorite Hallie trope

Reluctant friends to very good friends to lovers. Also, living together without establishing a clear relationship. I write that a lot. Mutual pining is always fun too. 

Favorite Hallie headcanon

That Harry calls Allie ‘Pressman’ which forces Allie to call him ‘Bingham’. I just think there’s something so fun about calling someone by their last name. Plus, then you get that moment when the first name is used and that gets to be significant. Oh, also that they both swear like sailors, but that’s mostly self-insert on my part.

This felt very self indulgent, but I hope it was at least somewhat enjoyable for someone. 

I am forever waiting to read whatever @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right writes next. It was great to see some of the behind the scenes and I would definitely recommend her latest release cities you’ll never see on screen.

[hazzabeeforlou]

Thank you for sharing about your life, that post was beautiful and made me teared up. I admire your fics so much, you're so talented. I wonder if you're willing to share your writing process. Do you outline? Or do you write as you go?

You’re so sweet thank you dear!!! And of COURSE I love talking about writing ;) I am the worst outliner in the history of outliners 🙈 For most all of my fics I just write as I go, having an idea of the plot conclusion. For instance Until You Remember I just free wrote, having worked out the story in my head. And for it, like for PITS, I jumped around and wrote various scenes and then connected them later (literally all of PITS was chapter by chapter lol). With Flawless I also wrote start to end, and filled in some stuff later. Now for things like The Garden, where I’ve had to do tons of research, there’s a more cohesive plot written down, and by that I mean I literally wrote the whole story start to end in “sparks notes” style, taking maybe 3 notebook pages, very condensed. And I also have pages upon pages of notes, with important things circled, and as I incorporate each note into the story I’ll cross it out, like a checklist. Because The Garden spans three stories and the most important plot movers, God and the devil, aren’t even a character you SEE or read about, I’ve had to write down their actions separately so I know what they’re doing in correlation to the main characters. All this may sound rather carefree, but honestly I do the bulk of my work during editing. I’ll just write WHATEVER in the first draft, as I’m only concerned with capturing the feeling of what is going on. I’ll smooth out the words and make it make sense during editing. I don’t put much pressure on myself while I’m initially writing a story; if I never moved on until one paragraph was perfect I’d never complete anything! So. No real secrets or shockers nony, just indulgent first drafts and scrupulous editing (although as always my spelling usually remains terrible no matter what 🤦‍♀️🙃) Thanks for the question love! ❤️

[leviathiane]

SHOW US YOUR WROR RAW UNPROCESSED WHOLE GRAIN ORGANIC NOTES

this is going to be a long-ass post i am so sorry to Everyone! i take a lot of notes.

So, as You specifically know (as well as all of my lovely Soggers) I take a LOT of notes. Obsessively. I write fucking everything bc i have very little memory and very much paranoia. This results in literal Piles of notes. Raw planning, on paper, on my phone– doodles of scenes im brainstorming, bulletpoints, entire SCRIPTS– it’s all there but scattered (I’ve got scenes planned in the margins of my goddamn anthropology notes and deciphering it was a NIGHTMARE) 

I won’t even upload all the photos of my writing notebook, because itd be like 50 pages of illegible nonesense. but heres a couple of planning phase pages. (may be hard to read, I dropped this notebook both into some tidepools, into a creek on campus, and accidentally leaked my waterbottle onto it in my backpack :/) 

if you can’t tell already, yes they all look exactly like this. Some are even more illegible, because I wrote them with the notebook half under my actual class notes. Because i wrote most of them in class. During lectures. And pretending very badly that i was not doing exactly that. (pay attention in class please i got away with this bc i was filling up elective units) 

I’m also flat out MISSING a large portion of my notes bc some of it? isnt even in the damn notebook. its on a sheet of binder paper, or on the empty back of an assignment. I’ve now lost most of those notes, but the ones i do still have are just as (even more, actually) indecipherable chicken scratch: 

Wow, how clean and tidy and easy to follow! i am in hell. 

and this doesnt mention the PAGES and PAGES of outlines that are on my laptop, and the pages of outlined scenes that are on the notes app of my phone. if i put them all, you would have entire chapter spoilers up to the very end of the story so i cant post a lot of them– and also theres just a goddamn lot of them. currently i have 16 pages of outlining. There are no spacing breaks. It is a solid 16 page block of text. Looking at it gives me a migraine. 

some assorted notes which i have dredged up from the deleted parts of the main draft google doc go all the way back to when i started Wror in June and they are Barely more readable than my handwriting on sheer account of: articulation is not my strength. These include: 

“Ch 8 plan: sabo gets trained specially, awakens his armament haki, beats ace in a bunch of spars and proves himself to be anything but vulnerable. The boys are like “we fucking recognize that technique ryu taught you before us!!” and goad ryu into finally starting them both on basic haki training, just to awaken it, since sabo already has. Also this is the chapter that ace finally confronts ryu for his devil fruit after ryu confirms that some devil fruit users can’t be hurt without haki and ace immediately catches onto that and tries to slam his pipe through ryus head. It doesn’t work, ryu catches the weapon with a haki covered hand, to avoid turning to flame with hit and ace just gets frustrated and accuses ryu of hiding his devil fruit, because he remembers what he saw in grey terminal and that now that he has seen haki he can distinguish it from what he saw and he’s sure no one could do what ryu did. He calls ryu a hypocrite for coddling them even after telling them to stop coddling sabo and ryu has to sit them down and explain that yes he does have powers and he has been hdiing it and explains his reasoning. However instead of understanding th eboys just get fired up and say they don’t wnt to be scared of fire, especially not when it means ryu isn’t taking them seriously in a spar. Ryu finally agrees to start them on desensitization training for fire trauma. Fire desensitization training happens on the beach, so that they have water nearby in case things get out of hand. At some point ace gives ryu a considering look and is just like “if you have a devil fruit that means you can’t swim either right?” and ryu is basically just like “lmao yeah” and then ace immediately attempts to drown him. Lots of murder attempts in ace’s department toget his older brother to be less of an idiot with little success lol(extra: ace tried to attack ryu earlier both to confirm that ryu has a devil fruit that would force him to use haki to hide it, and because he now knows that he CAN’T hurt ryu without haki and as thus can’t beat him and make him admit he’s awake without being good at haki.)” [chapter 8] 

“Small sabo lost his hat and goggles in the incident and while he doesn’t remember having them future sabo notices he looks uncomfortable and keeps touching his hair and head. Ace yells at him for it thinking he bandaging are bothering him and that he can’t touch them but little sabo just comments that something about it feels wrong. Luffy blurts our that he had a hat, like luffy does, But he doesn’t now ace begrudgingly mentions that they can’t get a new one in town. Future sabo doesn’t even hesitate and just plops his own hat onto his younger selves head. It clearly too big for him, and almost falls over his eyes but he grins up at future sabo and is like “wow!! Thank you! I’ll take care of it till I have one of my own” and creates a paradox like Luffys own hat. The footsteps younger sabo has yet to fill. This HAS to happen AFTER the talk where they explain that future and past sabo are both the same person, to give little sabo that pressure.” [chapter 9]

“(Right after this older sabo takes them down to the ocean so that they can play a little and desensitize themselves and immediately fucks himself over when he goes weak in the water bc he somehow fucking forgot his own devil fruit again and now even younger sabo is on his case about not letting him near the fucking ocean that little goddamn HYPOCRITE—) )” [for chapter 9]

“Ch 9 plan: they finally leave dawn island. Starts with the boys getting a haircut after training and luffy mentions how long it’s been since they’ve last needed a haircut, giving sabo and ace time to point out that it’s been 2 months now since ryu joined them, and that sabo was completely healed by now. The boys are now aware of the basics of haki, and while luffy hasnt awakened either yet ace and sabo both have a little bit of weak armament haki. (sabo won’t awaken observational haki until he gets his memories back) ryu tries to sneak off into the city to steal a boat but his brothers refuse to leave him behind and keep sneaking out after him, not wanting him to go alone and saying that since he’s been training them they’re clearly stronger and he needs to let them do this. Ryu eventually just lets it go because why the fuck not it’s a dream and they make him feel better. They get the boat out on open ocean and finally fucking sail out, cheering loudly, ryu struggling to make them all calm down but also not really trying. He’s happy as shit, and they’re all so excited and happy and sabo dips a hand into the waves and then smiles so fucking wide and tackles ryu so violently they both nearly tip into the water and it’s just very very good. “ [also for ch 9] 

** I flat out dont Have any outlining from before chapter 6, because i only started actually outling chapters after that. i tend to just sit down and Write up until i hit a plot point or writers block and then am forced to actually think it through and plan rather than letting it come naturally. thats also why the quality and editing is better in later chapters despite everything being written within the same time frame. 

besides entire chapter outlines, there are the scene specific phone notes like:

“(ADDED) Right after they leave dawn, when sabo is sure they’ve gotten enough of a head start, he calls Garp. He doesn’t say who he is, but that all of the boys are safe and happy with him and has them all talk into the phone to assure him that they’re fine. Garp is honestly just pissed off he doesn’t know who’s calling and when he asks sabo just laughs and says a disobedient brat before hanging up. “

“(ADDED) TO EXPAND ON CH 3: sabo gets offered the chance to go with dragon, and he hesitates on the offer to go through with his previous life with the family he’s made in the revolutionary again. He almost agrees, because the bought of losing them in this lifetime is near excruciating but reminds himself swiftly that it’s no place for his brothers and not what they’d really want, and he wants selfishly to be with them as long as he Can until he “inevitably” wakes up. The boys are visibly relieved by this, especially ace. (Sabo gets asked who he is by dragon, who wants to know more about the stranger with his son, but dragon has always been quicker to make connections no one guessed and he just smiled knowingly at sabo and tells him he’s sure the other will have no trouble finding them if he’s in need. Sabo in turn warns him to keep Kuma close, and to look for a slave girl named koala.)”

I have…. many of these. I have Many of Everything. 

finally, i have scene doodles. if i hit a bad writers block it usually helps me to sketch scenes or the character designs to regain my grip on what the hell is happening in the plot– Breach of Intention has character design sketches, pakcbond has MANY scene sketches, even some of my nsfw has some sketches. my wror skecthes arent Good of course, I am an art teacher for children and that means i am more often explaining the color wheel and brush techniques over drawing perfect human replicas– and i just dont really make a lot of fanart? ive never drawn sabo before but i sure have a bunch now. i wont include close ups because they genuinely suck but heres an example pic 

So… yeah thats about everything. this is a VERY long post and yet i only included like maybe ¼ or 1/5 of all the notes i have dbskhjgfkjadns lmk if anyone wants more (or notes for my Other stories, which contain NO WHERE the same absurd amount of shit that wror does.)

[kerbieaddis]

How I Got My Agent

Well, here's a post I never thought I'd have the chance to write.

After 6 years of writing seriously, several manuscripts, multiple contests, hundreds of queries, and a metric ton of determination, I am over the moon to announce I have an agent.

I can't even begin to tell you guys how happy I am. I have a long road ahead of me still, with revisions and going on submission, but having someone in my corner is such an incredible boost to help me fight through self-doubt.

My writing journey has been long and (literally) bloody, but for this post I'll just focus on the book that got me an agent. Before I wrote this book, I'd made up my mind to only write something if I really loved it. I was finishing up my master's degree, making plans to move to Philadelphia, and really didn't have time to write something new.

One night, after calming me down from an anxiety attack, my husband, Chris, said: "Don't you wish there was a machine that could erase all the bad memories?"

I thought on this for a moment. Part of me welcomed the idea of erasing bad memories, but as someone with a family history of Alzheimer's disease, it simultaneously terrified me. For that to work, I thought, it would need to be an artificial intelligence. Something that could sort the memories. I thought of my miscarriage from years earlier and how even though it was a terrible memory and had brought on several new anxiety triggers, it had lit a fire under me. Would I want to erase that? How would an artificial intelligence understand that I valued the bad memories?

I told Chris my thoughts. "But what if an artificial intelligence couldn't tell the difference between bad or good memories?"

"Sounds like a good science fiction idea."

But I can't write science fiction, I thought. I'm not smart enough. I don't know anything about science, how could I write science fiction? So I tucked the idea away as something that someone else could write. But not me.

And I didn't write anything on that book for a year and a half. But one day, when washing dishes, I heard in my head the voice of the villain. He only said one line, which is a spoiler, but it made the rest of the book suddenly click into place. I stopped washing dishes and scrambled for my computer, typing frantically with soapy hands.

Within an hour, I had my outline.

What I didn't understand about the science behind my plot points, I researched. I live near an academic library and spent many exhausted nights over quantum computing textbooks and articles about the ethics of artificial intelligences.

In one month, I had a first draft.

In three months, I had a final draft and a thumbs up from all my critique partners.

I started querying, knowing I had lots of rejection ahead of me. Previously, I had queried manuscripts for about a year before giving up, so I expected the timeline to be similar.

I had difficult classes, which was a welcome distraction from thinking about my queries floating in cyberspace. To finish a 25-page paper, I stayed up for two nights and finally turned it in, signaling my completion of that semester. Before passing out in bed, I checked my query email. I wasn't expecting anything, really, since I'd only been querying for a month and just a few people had responded so far.

I had one email. An agent wanted to talk on the phone.

I became lightheaded. I staggered down the hall and mumbled something to Chris about "someone wants to talk" which he found hilariously ominous. I was so sleep-deprived I could barely comprehend what was happening, so I asked my husband to read the email.

"They want a phone call," he confirmed.

It was Friday, which meant the phone call was scheduled for Monday. This agent's timing couldn't have been more perfect. I think if I would've gotten their email while still writing papers, I might have failed that semester because there was no way I could concentrate on anything else.

Monday came, finally, and we had our phone call. I vibrated with anxiety the entire time. Chris had "phone call duties" which involved herding our pets, keeping them quiet, and sitting by with a notebook to write down all the key points of the call since I knew I would be utterly useless to remember anything once the adrenaline faded.

It was an offer! The agent loved my book. They had ideas for revision, which I agreed with. They were kind and supportive and had great ideas. I got off the phone with my heart soaring. They were perfect.

But then I had the task of notifying all other agents. I only had out around 20 queries, so luckily that didn't take long.

More full requests came in. Each time, I nearly threw up with stress. One agent asked for the full, an agent I'd admired for a long time, but I didn't get my hopes up. I queried them because they liked my previous manuscripts, but I always assumed dark/horror wasn't their cup of tea.

A week later, when eating salad at a restaurant with my husband, I got an email from that very agent. They wanted a phone call.

I tossed my fork and grabbed a spoon, shoveling salad into my mouth. "They want a phone call in two hours," I explained to Chris, and he too, began scarfing down food.

We raced home and I panic-prepared for the phone call. Chris resumed his "phone call duties." Can I just say thank God for supportive spouses?

The phone call happened. Another offer! The agent was absolutely incredible. They talked about the themes in the book, themes I thought most people wouldn't catch. They wanted heavier revisions than the other offering agent, but as they explained what worked and what didn't work, I made a suggestion, and they added to that suggestion. I was suddenly overcome with an itch to work on the story again, because their enthusiasm and ideas sparked my creativity.

I told the agent I was surprised they liked the book so much, since I'd always assumed they disliked horror. "Pure horror, yes," they explained, "but not books with horror elements. Plus your book reminds me of Annihilation."

I swooned. Annihilation is one of my favorite books, and I had been trying to recapture the ominous unknown fear of that book in my own.

I got off the phone, shaking. Now I had a decision to make. I loved both agents, but I could only choose one.

I made a pros and cons list. I asked my friends their opinions on each agent and their agency. I did hours of googling. Each time a new email popped up, I was actually praying it wasn't another offer. I didn't want the decision to be any harder. My deadline was soon after Christmas, so several agents did email to ask for more time. More than one said they were leaning towards offering, but that they never offer without finishing a manuscript.

After lots of stressful crying, throwing up, and cramming chocolate in my face, I had my decision.

I officially signed with Bridget Smith of Dunham Literary. She was the agent I believed I had zero chance with, but in the end, she was the one who understood my book the most. Her revision ideas were so incredibly brilliant and they made me crave writing again, which is exactly what I want in an agent.

Anyway, I know when I read these stories, I loved to see statistics, so here's the querying stats on my sci fi:

Queries Sent: 20

Rejections: 8

No Response: 4

Full Requests: 8

Offers: 2

I think if there's anything I want other writers to take from this, it's don't give up and don't self-reject. I rolled my eyes when reading that on other "How I Got My Agent" stories, but it's true. I self-rejected a LOT. I even put off writing this book, which is probably the best thing I've ever written, because I assumed I wasn't "smart enough" to write it. You can do anything if you put the work in.

Maybe it won't be this manuscript, and that's okay. Maybe your writing isn't ready. Maybe the market isn't ready. But keep going, because with each manuscript you finish, it's another step on the journey.

Speaking of, I still have another journey ahead of me, and that's revision, so I should get back to it. If you got this far, thanks for reading, and good luck!

[asbiecat]

Writing a fiction series is like herding cats.

All right, here’s part two of how to make a book! This is entirely about how plans are completely pointless sometimes, and what I do to actually get the words on the page – and then make the words make sense after they’ve been thrown up.

 Most of my ‘drama’ was created by sitting there going, “Hmmm… this character/these characters are really happy. What can I do to make them miserable? Good. How are they gonna react? Is that too much? Yes? No? Hey, Shawn, what do you think of this?” Sometimes he offers even worse things, sometimes he says it’s too much. It varies. :)

 A lot of times I just put the characters in situations and see what they do. Sometimes Shawn and Megg, who know everyone as well as I do anymore, go, “This character wouldn’t do that,” and I go, “You’re right. REDO.”

 I have gotten and taken (and passed on as well) a lot of advice for plot development, conflicts, battles, and relationship development from my readers. This is because I ask for feedback all the time. I’ve personally had one romantic relationship in my entire life, never been abused (just harassed), and participated in zero weapon fights (as long as you don’t count LARP, which I do not). However, I’ve read a lot, watched a lot, heard a lot, and have a very active imagination – and I’m very open to suggestions. Not all of them work for what I’ve built, but if I hear a good idea that I just can’t use right now, I write them down to consider later. My books are not built around a vague main character that could be anyone – or that the reader can sit themselves inside of like a ride, so I can’t just bend the characters to places they wouldn’t normally go. Even when put in extraordinary circumstances, like they usually are, they have to stay true to themselves. My editors and early readers keep the train on the tracks.

 My preferred location to write: on the couch or at my desk, in the dark with the screen brightness on my laptop turned down, usually wearing a hoodie with the hood up so you can barely see my face. Sometimes I wear fingerless gloves, but my current computer is a gaming computer that gives off heat, so that hasn’t been necessary for a while. I do most of my writing from 10pm-2am, because by then I’ve done enough chores and the girls are in bed. This is a lot harder to do now that I work at 8am, but I’m bad and recently started drinking coffee (yeah, I’ve been a writer for 17 years and just this year started drinking coffee).

 I also do a lot of editing on my phone anymore, because I’m away from my computer so much. I read things in Word on my phone, and then copy out lines that I need to fix and paste them into OneNote with my notes about what’s wrong with it. This is synced so I can just grab it on my laptop without having to hook my phone up to it, and then make the edits when I’m at my laptop.

 I used to write in notebooks when I’m on the go. I’ve filled several of those half-sized notebooks (they fit in purses better than full-sized ones and are easier to hide). I still carry one, but I type so much faster than I handwrite, and I know that I’ll just have to retype it later, so I usually don’t bother anymore. It’s also easier to get a good, natural flow for things when you’re typing it. It’s not as fast as my thoughts, but it’s a lot closer.

 I also have terrible handwriting – mostly a result of my brain moving faster than my hands can move. Related, I have mild carpal tunnel. It was only ever really bad when I was pregnant with my first kid, but if I strain my wrists too much I’ve gotta wear braces for a bit. This is a terrible thing to have for someone who writes, draws, sews, and just in general makes so many things with her hands. It doesn’t stop me though, just makes me whine while I keep doing everything anyway.

 I reread stuff I’ve written CONSTANTLY (except The Dark. I don’t read it anymore because the amount of changes I want to make to it are just too numerous – it mentally exhausts me), and I’m almost always making tweaks, edits, and updates, but lately I’ve been reading The Haven and The Hunt to see how the characters were interacting in them, now that I know how they’re going to develop ten years down the line (The Shield/The Streets). Sometimes it surprises me, the subtle things that were in there that I don’t remember consciously choosing to put down. I’m pretty sure I’m just ghost-writing for a bunch of fictional people. I only think I have control over this.

 One example is the sexuality of one of my characters. When I first wrote the stuff, I was a Catholic grade school kid. You know, uniform and everything. Obviously, everyone was just straight then, even if it wasn’t implicitly stated. Then I got older, and the characters stayed the age they were – and when I was finally older than they were, it kind of shocked me. I wrote these people in their early twenties when I was thirteen. I’d been through college, and was in the adult workforce now – and the group of people I called friends was more diverse than the group of people in my head that had been my companions for over a decade.

 The Haven was already done, but The Hunt and the rest of the series was still fluid, so I decided that I needed to change some stuff up. There was no reason that many of the couples I had yet to establish needed to be the way they were. Two of my early readers pointed out that one of the established couples made no sense, so I completely deleted any reference to their relationship (which I agree was contrived, and not organic), and ended up putting one of those people with someone else – that they were a far better match with. The other half of that split couple, if I ever think she can heal enough to trust someone else, will probably be with a woman – certainly not a man. She’ll never trust men enough to do that.

Also, I had been kicking around the sexuality of one of the main characters of The Haven for a bit, not really able to decide what I wanted him to be. Realizing I had a lack of diversity, I figured, why not make him gay? It actually added a lot of character and color to his story, and explained a lot of things I had made part of his character already.

 There’s another pair in The Hunt that was always ‘a thing’ but never to the extent I have now declared them to be. Because I gave the trio in this book so much attention, I had to really dive into their characters in a way that I never had before. Ignoring this was not possible anymore, so as I wrote I was entertained by both the conflict and the unexpected harmony they had. They pretty much hijacked my attention the whole book – especially because at the end of it even I wasn’t sure how to make it turn out.

 Also in that book, one of the characters is bisexual. He didn’t start that way. He started off as just a player who flirted with a lot of girls, but then I made him flirt with a guy to pass the time and was shocked to see the outcome. I say this like I was reading someone else’s book… but that’s exactly how it went. I just sat back and said, “Uh, are we doing this, guys? I guess we are… Well, here goes then!” After I finished writing I went back and searched throughout the book to see if I had to fix anything regarding the bi character that I didn’t realize was bi, and to my surprise, all references he had previously made to his sexuality were very ambiguous. He’d always said that he wanted to settle down eventually, but not yet, and had never once declared a gender for the person he was looking for. The only time someone declared what he was, it was someone that was not him, so I just adjusted that line, and voila, he’s bi, like he apparently wanted. Seriously, I don’t really control this, I’m just herding cats.

 By the way, my previous publisher questioned the intimacy of Malk and Traphian’s relationship in The Haven and wanted to make them a little more manly. I resisted this, because doing so would detract from what I wanted of them in that book. I also resisted this because it humored me that Malkarai and Traphian were apparently threatening to masculinity, and I am all for threatening the shit out of that, ha. If anyone had any doubts about how tough Traphian is, they’re seriously insecure.

 When I first wrote Division 53 in the early 00s (I called it The Dark Series then) the plot was not overarching and unifying throughout the series. It was just a literal series of books with the same setting, and was set up kind of as a set of a trilogy (Dark, Manhunt, Reign of the A*******, with a bonus prequel, Prodigy), a pair (Streets, System), and a single book (Ripper). I’ve since put in a pervasive plot, recurring villains, developed way more of the characters into main instead of supporting characters, split Manhunt into The Haven and The Hunt (+ a lot of things that didn’t exist before), deleted Reign entirely, added two books (The Shield, The Conspiracy), removed the prequel, and made the stories more mature in many ways. 90% of the fights in the series have been written, brand new, in the last two years.

 I learned a lot about writing in grade school, high school, and college, but even though I spent a large portion of the high school and college years figuring out how to get published, I’ve learned the most about writing work for publishing and public consumption in the past three years. I’ve learned to let go of things for the sake of pacing, to rewrite and not get so attached to things, and to take all opinions worth a grain of salt, professionals and amateurs alike. This knowledge is why I don’t read The Dark anymore. I know that I need to sit down and rewrite a lot of it to make it stand next to the rest of the books on equal footing. It isn’t bad, but it isn’t as good as I could make it today. I’m trying not to look backward for now. A new version of it can always be released in the future, but I need to tell the rest of the story first.

[interview-with-a-creator]

Writer: Noirangetrois

New week, new creator! We’re back on schedule, and have more lovely people to highlight. Per usual, the interview will remain open as responses are posted! Thank you to everyone who has participated and spread the love.

On to our next lovely creator!

Author/Artist Name *

noirangetrois

What content do you create? (If more than one applies, please select your main focus) *

Fanfiction

What other content do you create?

Nothing else

Where can fans find your content?

Ao3 and @noirangetrois

How did you find Gundam Wing?

I watched it when it aired on Toonami way back in the day.

How long have you been writing or drawing/painting in this fandom?

Since 2001

How long have you been in the fandom? (Not necessarily creating for it)

On and off since 2000

What has kept you in the fandom? Or kept you coming back?

I love literally everything about Gundam Wing, with the exception of General Septum's English dub voice actor. When I first watched it, I was only a year younger than the pilots and really identified with and idolized them, Duo in particular. The plot was interesting and complex, and though the politics of it all and especially Treize's "war is beautiful" attitude really went over my head, as I've returned to the show years later they really speak to me. Well, I completely disagree with Treize, but at least now I get where he's coming from. The characters are also really compelling and ripe for exploration and additional character development through fanfiction. And, I fell in love with yaoi and especially 1x2 (my original OTP and the one I will stick to forever and ever). And of course, I keep coming back because of the wonderful people and amazing content they create.

Is there a go-to fic or art piece that never gets old? What is it?

"The Wedding Planner" by snowdragonct:   

I can't remember how many times I've read it, and I know I'll be reading it many times more in the future.

Please recommend one fan work you believe everyone should see.

Aside from The Wedding Planner? "Oh, Injustice" by one-hep-cat

What piece of advice would you offer your younger self, in terms of creating?

Don't be shy to ask for a beta reader! People in this fandom don't bite, and are super generous and helpful. Even if someone says no, it's okay, someone else will be happy to help out!

What programs do you use?

Text Edit

Describe your writing method from start (an idea) to finish (posting your work).

Generally I tend to do a whole bunch of brainstorming, assigning roles to characters from GW. Inevitably a small idea will turn into a monster of an idea... not since my early days have I been able to write a one-shot to save my life. I tend to get a now spiral notebook or similar for each story and write a lot of it out by hand, because that's just how my writing flows best, though I eventually switch to writing on the computer just to save time. When it's a fic I'm currently working on, I carry the notebook with me just about everywhere I go so that when I get time or inspiration strikes, I can work on it anywhere. Most ideas never get past the brainstorming stage, with maybe a paragraph or two of the actual story written down, but I pour my heart and soul into those that do, including spending hours re-watching the show and transcribing dialogue etc for the stories I write in canon. I reread what I've written over and over, making small edits as I go and correcting typos. To date, all my long shots are unfinished, because life has just gotten in the way, but every story I've started is very close to my heart and I fully intend to finish them when I do get the chance.

How long have you been writing?

I was born with a pencil in my hand

Do you do research for a fic?

Depends on the fic

If so, how much research?

In canon? An obsessive amount of rewatching the show, transcribing dialogue and taking notes. Outside of canon, I tend to make it up as I go along.

Do you have a beta reader?

Yes

If yes, who is it, and how long have you had one?

Kangofu_CB, for about a week

How many WIPs do you currently have?

4 - 6

Who is an author or writer who inspires you?

Juliet Marillier

Where do you get your inspiration? What inspires you to write?

So many things, but most often, music.

What are some areas you feel you need to improve upon?

Actually sitting down to write. I do a lot of planning and brainstorming, but that's the easy part. Once I get started it tends to go smoothly, but putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard is something I often shy away from even when I have the time because of anxiety about whether what I write will be any good.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I do a good job with pacing in my stories, and with hooking the audience by giving them just enough information to get them interested but also keeping enough hidden for later reveals to keep them coming back for more.

Do you have any writing goals for this year?

Finish a fic! Specifically, Of the Sea. I'd love to also get some work done on the other long stories I have in the pipeline, and hopefully complete some more one-shots like the one I did for the Gundam Wing Secret Santa Exchange.

Which work are you most proud of?

I've only published the prologue so far, but it has to be "Bring on the Wonder." I'm extremely proud of the story I've plotted out and what part I have managed to write so far.

Favorite pizza?

All the vegetables plus pineapple, and no cheese, because I'm allergic.

Do you ride roller coasters?

Yes

What do you do to relax?

Read, play video games, hang out with friends, drink fancy loose-leaf tea, cook, listen and sing along to music.

Name one cool/fun fact about where you live or somewhere nearby (if you don't want to be specific).

I don't know much about where I live now so I'll go with the town where I grew up, Livermore, CA. Livermore is home to the longest burning light bulb in the world, known as the Centennial Light Bulb and burning since 1901.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins best describes you, and why? (Pride, Sloth, Lust, Envy, Greed, Gluttony, Wrath)

Gluttony. I love pretty much all food (though dairy doesn't love me back) and am always down to try something new.

@thisweekingundamwing