#but i wanted Sandwich™️

[goldensunset]

i’m eating this sandwich that has three slices of bread in total. bread on either end and then of course sandwich fillings in between them but in between each layer of fillings there is another slice of bread. why. who designed this. tastes delicious though

[faetreides]

🎾 - #LOVE ON THE FLOOR !!

cw: unrealistic public sex on a tennis court 💀 (it’s nighttime and no one else is there), college era, afab reader, gross friends to lovers, strip tennis, soft dom!art x inexperienced!reader, vaginal fingering + titfucking + brief analingus (afab reader receiving), implied (soft) obsession & toxicity like art would marry you tomorrow, teasing (towards reader), nipple sucking (m receiving), art putting in overtime to hit on oblivious!reader, reader is so comically unaware pls just roll with it and suspend your disbelief, mandatory Patrick™️ mention, 3.5k of pure need, art’s so horny in this like 😔 (+subtle implications of him either being a manwhore or a porn addict, as a little treat), lowkey canon typical mind games, unedited

this was requested by a bot looking blog that i had to block but the idea still slapped! combined with an ask for inexperienced reader

Art Donaldson sees your instagram story that’s only a repost of a Ethel Cain song and tries not to click his heels together. It’s not like he’s happy you’re clearly going through something, but if the story is a result of what he thinks it’s a result of… then he’ll comfort you through it however he can. With his words, his tongue, babying you in the bath and washing your hair, etc. Just getting to be intimate with you at all is an opportunity he’d never turn down.

Suddenly you’re bursting into Art’s dorm like a bat out of hell, tears dotting your waterline and lower lip wobbling. His heart lurches and leaps in equal measures, his backwards cap feels like it constricts around his head as he resists the urge to fidget with it.

“He… he didn’t show up!”

Art shoots up and gets off his bed, rushing to you and rubbing his hands up and down your arms, “What are you talking about?”

He gives you a lingering hug and passes you some of your favorite fast food that he always keeps in the little fridge in his dorm. Somehow knowing that it’d be just what the doctor ordered, you’re so lucky to have such a caring friend. You two haven’t left each other’s side since you bumped him on the first day of class, bringing a clice to life by spilling your coffee all over his polo. Sometimes you still lie awake at night and cringe at yourself, trying to assure yourself that he’s stuck around your awkward ass for a reason.

You’re hiccuping through your story while munching on your chicken sandwich, “Mark acted so exicted yesterday, and now he’s stood me up. I waited in front of the café for an hour, people were staring…”

Art eyes you from his position on the bed, crowding against you due to the size and having half of his torso glued to your back. He doesn’t giggle at the adorable way you get frustrated when the pickle in your sandwich always slides out in between your teeth during a bite, but he thought about it! He reaches up and brushes his fingers against your hair, wanting to just touch it more than move it.

“I don’t know what to tell you, he’s an idiot and you’ll move on. It’s not like he’s the only person in the world.” He grumbles, not quite pouting as he hooks his chin on your shoulder.

“Okay now you’re just grumpy because I beat you at uno.” You tease, gesturing to the scattered pile of brightly colored cards on the bed.

He’s definitely made you feel better though, he always does. You both finish your food and Art stands up from the bed to grab his tennis bag. He pulls you up too and winks, saying that you can’t beat him at everything. You ask what he’s doing and he only grins, telling you to come with him. You nervously glance around as you’re pulled to race through the halls to the court. There’s a simmering feeling weaving in and out of your tightly intertwined fingers.

divider

Art lets go of your hand to drop his bag on the ground, leaving your palm feeling strangely cold without his warmth.

You’re still not sure you should even be out here, you know that you’re definitely not allowed but Art seems to sense your hesitation because he rushes towards you and cups your hands in his.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re not gonna get in trouble or anything, y’know that?” He chuckles, gently knocking the tip of his nose against yours. “Look up for me, the moon’s really pretty tonight.”

You follow his lead and tilt your head back to gaze up at the goregous crescent moon high in the oil colored sky. You don’t notice that he’s looking at you instead, that he doesn’t say that the moon reminds him of you but he feels like the one orbiting around you instead of the other way around. Luckily there’s not a cloud in sight, just a floating city of stars with a glowing center. Art lightly pulls on your wrists, clearly wanting your attention back on him, so you comply.

You’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but you don’t miss the odd glint in his eyes as he narrows them slightly.

His eyelids crinkle as he smiles charmingly, “Don’t you trust me?”

You answer with your heart, “Yes, of course I do.”

He beams at you and explains the rule of the game he dragged you all the way out here to play. It’s just like a regular game of tennis so you really shouldn’t sweat it, he says. His expression shifts when he makes a show out of being unable to look you in the eye when he tells you the special rules, knowing full well you can see him try to tamper down a self satisfied laugh. Whoever scores gets to pick whatever piece of clothing the other takes off, and the loser of the game has to get completely naked if they aren’t already.

Your cheeks warm and you gawk at him, “Isn’t it weird that you’ll see me… like that?”

“So you already know you’re gonna lose, huh? And it’s not like i haven’t seen most of it before.” Art laughs, not bothering to hide the blush on his face. “You’ve seen all of me, anyway.”

It’s true, you usually laze around in nothing but your underwear and that’s been the norm for you two. Art’s no different, he’ll change in front of you and will literally walk around butt naked around your dorm. More often than not, he’ll answer the door in only a towel around his waist and sitting on his hip bones, no matter if it’s one of your other friends or a project partner. You're constantly having to text the other because you forgot that you left your toothbrush behind. You’ve never had a chance to be embarrassed by it. It’s been like that for the longest time and anytime you’ll tell Art that your friends keep asking if he’s your boyfriend, he’ll just reassure you that you guys are just really close. And isn’t that a good thing?

“Besides, I think this’ll help get you out of your shell.”

You’re embarrassed at the reminder of how inexperienced you are. Sure, you shouldn’t have a whole thing about it or whatever, but it just is kind of alienating from other people your age to not be able to say you’ve done what they’ve done. And you would’ve been able to have some stories of your own if you could manage to hold down a date. But tonight isn’t supposed to be about you wallowing, you’re supposed to be having fun. Even if the sight of your best friend in tight fitting sporty clothes makes your pussy throb.

divider

You giggle nervously when he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you, swaying you from side to side before moving his grip up to your arms.

“Relax, i’m just checking your form. Being close to you is just a bonus.” He winks and presses his stomach up against your back.

It’s so cheesy, the situation and the pose. But you lean into his touch and pretend to care about how he’s showing you the right way to hold a racket and all that, he doesn’t even really care if he’s being honest. It’s romantic though, and he can’t resist the opportunity to get a taste of what it’d be like to pin your body down with his weight. He guides you through a few “practice” swings and then throws a two finger salute at you as he jogs around the net to his side of the court.

It’s your serve, and despite you being very much a beginner, you get the first point.

Art stands there expectantly, cocking his head to the side and bouncing on his heels in anticipation. You honestly didn’t consider that you’d actually be telling your best friend to take off his clothes for you, but you’re new thing is taking shit in stride, you guess.

“So, what’s it gonna be?” He shouts and hovers his fingers around the collar of his polo, ready for you to say the word.

You take the coward’s way out, “Your shoes.”

Art frowns but obeys the rules, swiftly unlacing his sneakers and tossing them to the side. The court’s not so rough that it’d be hell on his feet, but he’d do it for you even if it was all a bunch of jagged rocks cobbled together. The game goes on with Art scoring the next point, and then the one after that. He has you discard your necklace, one of those cheesy half heart ones that matches with one he has, and your shoes as well. He doesn’t wanna scare you off, but he knows what he wants to have you take off for him.

You score the next time, down goes his pants. Without them, few things are left to the imagination. Every time he’d walk around you naked you’d always keep your face firmly glued to your phone or something. But being faced with the very… detailed outline of his bulge through his underwear, that’s another thing entirely. It looks so long against his thigh it might as well be a third leg. There’s already a little wet spot where the tip must be.

You must’ve been taking too long to ogle him, because Art yells at you to “Focus on the game, yeah?”

You’re lucky it’s not a cold night when he gets the next point and has you take off your pants, which are really just glorified shorts. You unfasten them and shimmy them down your legs, letting them pool around your ankles and kicking them away from you. You haven’t shaved today, but you know that Art doesn’t care about that sort of thing. He’s made sure to tell you as much many times when you complain about how much your back hurts after you get done with it.

Art takes his sweet time dragging his gaze down your legs, already imagining bringing them around his waist or over his shoulders. Your panties are so cute too, cupping your pussy so closely that he can see the shapes of your puffy lips from all the way on the other side of the court, a “camel toe” or whatever you call it. He thinks it’s so hot, but you’re shy about it, asking him to see how you look in jeans that are a size too small. He always does a thorough inspection.

Whoever scores next wins the game, and you’re too busy trying not to fall on your ass to put any effort into it. It’s not a real game away, and besides, it’s not like anything has to happen when the loser completely undresses. Out of the corner of your eye you see Art’s dick twitch in his briefs and you get so distracted that you freeze and miss the neon yellow-green ball hurtling past you. Art whoops and cheers as you process the fact that you lost.

“You know what that means.” Art grins from ear to ear. “Make a show out of it for me.”

divider

You don’t even mind the staring, it’s such a common thing that you’d be more pissed off if he wasn’t looking at you at all. The way his eyes devour every inch of bare skin and drop of sweat that you earned during the game. You pull your tank top up and over your head, leaving you in just your bra and panties. Your bra isn’t a frilly thing, you wear it mainly for support, but Art can’t seem to tear himself away from the view of your pushed up tits rising and falling as you breathe.

You…. don’t know what to do now, the big appeal of the game is over, you awkwardly laugh it off and bend over to pick up your clothes. Art shakes his head to snap himself out of his horny fever dream and races over to you, latching onto your wrist and stopping you from getting dressed again.

“You’re supposed to take it all off, remember?”

You drop your clothes, noticing that he still doesn’t let you go.

Heats fills your cheeks as he steps closer, delicately sliding his fingertips up the inside of your arm and around your back. He plays with the hook of your bra, gazing down at you with a look full to brim with unknown intent and purpose. He doesn’t do something as bold as unlatching it right out the gate, no, he just stares into your soul.

“I remember.” Your eyes drop down to his lips, and that’s when you know it’s over. “Can’t exactly do it myself if you’ve already got one foot in the door.”

You’ve gotta know when to fold ‘em, and all that.

Art softly smiles and loops his fingers under your bra strap. You have to remind yourself to breathe, but you don’t really get much of a chance to. Before you can stop yourself and think with your head, you’re canting up to press your lips to his. Art immediately kisses you back, chuckling into the kiss when you gasp as he expertly unhooks your bra with one hand.

In the blink of an eye, you’re flat on your back on the court, Art having hastily thrown his shirt under you while you were tangling your tongues together. He presses an array of wet open mouthed kisses down your body, paying extra special attention to the trimmed patch of hair at the top of your mound.

“Smells so good, ‘s cute, too. It figures you’d have the prettiest pussy I've ever seen.” He coos, dragging a lone finger down your slit before gently pushing it inside.

You gasp, wrenching your eyes shut tight at the intrusion. He takes good care of you, slowly sinking his finger in to the knuckle and sliding it in and out of you. He gradually adds more fingers as the minutes pass. Your walls throb around him, and if Art were a weaker man (like the guy you almost went out with) he would’ve said fuck it and plunged his dick into your cunt in one smooth stroke. But you deserve the best first time possible, and all the distractions he’s used have helped him be patient enough to refrain from humping you like a dog.

“You’re okay, you can take it. It’s nothing compared to what this pussy’s going to be taking later anyway, baby.” He hums and nuzzles his nose into where your inner thigh meets your mound.

As he’s languidly thrusting his fingers into your puffy pussy, Art strains his neck to lap at your ass. He holds one of your fat cheeks in his free hand and spreads you open, diving in to suck on the puckered hole between them. He sharpens his tongue and jabs it into your ass, his cock throbs when you let out the sweetest little squeals at the squelching and throaty noises he’s making. He can feel your hole unfurling with every slurp and suck, something that only makes him increase the speed of his long fingers in your pussy, maintaining a breathtaking steady rhythm.

Eventually his poor leaking cock can’t take anymore grinding into the ground, so Art crooks his fingers and (albeit a bit cruelly) jams them into your sweet spot. The velvet grip of your pussy strangles his digits like a dream, you’d take dick so beautifully. Your eyes fly open and your throat spasms around a mangled moan. He pulls his fingers out of your soaking wet pussy, smirking up at you as he sucks them try like a professionally trained whore. Your clit receives a loving kitten lick as an apology for neglecting it, and with that Art hovers over you at an even eye to eye level again.

“Holy shit…” You pant and flick his pebbled nipples, absentmindedly rolling them around with your thumb. “Are we really doing this?”

“Yeah, we are.” Art sighs, his head falls back as you duck down to suck his nipples into your mouth, the saliva you lathered them with dripping down your chin. He grabs the back of your head and pushes your face into his chest, arching his back.

“Relax, I bribed security and told them to fuck off for the night.”

That doesn’t concern you as much as it should, you’re too transfixed on Art wrenching your mouth off of his pecs and moving to straddle your chest.

“Can you push them together for me?” He breathes hard and grinds his weeping cock against your tits, mesmerized by how his precum makes your skin glisten.

“Oh, fuck.” He groans when you do, making quick use out of the delicious new friction the little pocket provides. “Thanks, honey.”

You keep staring at the tip of his dick, loving the little peek you get of it as he fucks your tits and it pokes your chin. You don’t even realize you’re doing it but you let your mouth hang open, angling your head down so his cockhead pecks your tongue at the end of every thrust. You make sure to lick every drop of pre cum away as it oozes out of him, looking so nice against the flushed pink skin of his tip. Art groans when he finally summons the strength to watch you do it, the sight hurtling him over the edge before he has the time or vocal ability to warn you.

His thick load jets out to land all over your tits, half of it on the lower half of your face. You’re almost sad it didn’t get high enough to clump your lashes together, it would’ve made for the perfect contact picture. Oh well, maybe next time. It’s amazing, the switch you’ve made from the shy friend to the writhing slut underneath him. You blame it on the honest to God sweet taste of his milky white cum, surprisingly making you think of the pineapples he always snatches from your plate when you eat at school together.

(Another painstaking effort made just for you, love)

It’s a miracle you get back to his dorm, some of your clothes are swapped and put on incorrectly and you both didn’t clean up at all. As soon as you reach the door, Art practically shoves you inside and onto the bed. He gets so frustrated with having to get your clothes off again that he just rips them right off of you, promising to take you to the mall tomorrow (or whenever he lets you leave the bed) to buy replacements. You literally couldn't care less if he shackles you to the wall, you need him to rearrange your guts so badly, you’d kill for it. Should you be having deep conversations about your feelings and what the future will look like? Absolutely, but your clit is clouding your sense of rationality and you don’t mind that right now.

“Do you even know how much i’ve wanted this? To fuck you so hard that we end up attached at the hip?” He bites, breaking away from your lips to suck bruises down the column of your throat. “We can have a baby- please have my baby, fuck!”

There’s something so weirdly romantic about the leftover scent of the court combined with the twinkling stars outside. Art’s moans and hands scrambling to pin you down so all you have to do is take it, you’re doing things all out of order, but this was always going to happen sooner or later. Art is a clumsy manipulator but he’s so handsome… you find yourself agreeing to every frantic declaration flying out of his mouth as he spears his long cock into your sopping wet pussy. You claw red lines into his shoulders and back, and Art nearly creams on the spot. The sting and the fact that you’re so out of it, you’re marking him up, are crossing the wires in his brain. His taut thighs burn with the effort of fucking you so far into the mattress.

You’ll get to cum four more times than he does, and by the end of it you’ll wish you never came at all. Your soul’s goikg to be so far away from your ruined mess of limbs that you won’t notice the sacred promises being muttered into your sweaty hair or pay attention to your phone being out on Do Not Disturb. You’ll be right where you should be, inevitably molded around the shape of his dick and branded by all the love bites that litter your body. You’ll think you passed out during most of them, but you’ll give him a loopy smile, hook your pinky around his, and let yourself melt away.

It feels as if your walls are still clenching around a dick that’s no longer buried to the hilt in them.

“I love you”’s are for early mornings with coffee and pancakes. Gloating to Patrick will be for hours before then, Art blocking him when you’re deep asleep and unable to mend the growing rift between them.

[me-and-your-husband]

How bout Ellie fiending over a thick reader, Girlie with a dump truck ? 👀

I think papa likes her fat bottomed girls yk ?

🕷️

you're so right oh my god now i'm really thinking about it. certified thick girl™️ here btw.

warnings: smut, thick reader (specifically ass and thighs 🤤), swearing, ellie is kinda feral

even before you got together, ellie would be staring at the way your thighs moved as you walked, ogling your ass as you bent over to pick something up. (most of the time) she wasn't even trying to objectify you, but she went batshit crazy in the summer when you'd parade around wearing ripped up denim shorts, giving her more to look at. dina or jesse probably caught her a few times too.

"you've gotta stop staring at her like that, ellie. there's literally a puddle of drool underneath you."

she'd just groan and pretend she wasn't stealing glances at your ass and thighs out of her peripherals.

and she'd always be finding excuses to even brush your ass or thighs. once, you came back from patrol with a cut on your inner thigh that needed stitches. she had to practically BEG joel to let her stitch you up.

"why?"

"i've got steadier hands than you."

she ended up sat between your thighs, so close she could feel the warmth radiating from your body, the flesh of your thighs doing that thing when you sit down where they just get twice as big out of nowhere. she couldn't even look at you, but her hands were fucking shaking because she was literally between your thighs right now oh my god

or she'd go to reach behind you, pretending to accidentally brush your ass with her hand.

she'd never do anything too weird though.

when you guys started dating tho? different story

her hands are ALWAYS on your ass. everyone headcanons her as a tits girl, but i disagree. she's literally sleeping facing you so she can wrap your legs around her and she can just hold your ass. that's literally it she does not give a fuck.

i feel like she wouldn't touch you too much in public, but when you're around your friends? girl is all over you. hand in your back pocket, hand wrapping around the inside of your thigh, keeping it warm. she loves to just squeeze the soft flesh of your ass or your thighs, pinching it, sucking it, literally anything.

she absolutely LOVES when you sit on her face, literally drowning in your slick, caged by your supple thighs and her hands literally squeezing your ass the entire time.

it's to the point where you barely wear pants around her place anymore cause she'll just end up ripping them off of you so you can sit on her lap and she can massage your thighs anyways

you once joked about getting "ellie" tattooed into the inside of your right thigh and "williams" tattooed on the left but it actually turned her on a little

she'd never admit it though.

it didn't matter if there were 80 empty chairs next to her, you were sitting on her lap, and that was just how it was

your ass is literally like a stress reliever for her. whenever she's anxious she'll just pull you into her lap and feel you up. she has no shame in it either.

and if you're in the kitchen making lunch or something she'll come up behind you, squeezing your thick hips and ass, so drunk on your curves that you're asking her what she wants on her sandwich and she just goes "this ass is so good."

she definitely sucks hickies into your asscheeks too when you're fucking. like the inside of your thighs and your ass will be LITTERED in purple bruises from her mouth. it would hurt to sit down for a couple of days but you didn't care.

and maybe on patrol you get ambushed by a group of guys. you manage to take out most of them but there's one left and he's got her in a chokehold, and you jump down from some random corner and literally take him out with your thighs around his neck. yeah she's gasping for air but she's DRAGGING you back to jackson and not letting you leave her bed for dayssss

ellie is definitely the type to get so fucking pussy drunk, she'd be eating you out and then she'd just start like nuzzling your ass and thighs with her cheek while her own slick is just POOLING underneath her

something inside of me tells me that she'd call you "mama" all the time, no matter the setting.

"c'mere, mama."

"that's a sweet ass, mama."

"fuck, mama. love these thighs."

need this in my life so bad

part 2

permanent taglist:

@winters-fairy

@idkwhattonamethisblogs

tlou taglist:

@jordie-gvf

@sunxflowerxx

[idcbabyialreadylostmymind]

I’m nothing more than a fruit for Ronal she literally AGGGGGG I AM IN LOVE. AND NEYTIRI UGGGGGG I AM IN LVOE WITH HER AREGGHH okay no but hear me out for three seceons….. just three. A threeway with them. Of course fem!reader because I am The Gays™️ but like 😭 sandwich potential with a reader that is shorter than both of them 🫣😩

OMG YALL ARE FREAKY (just like me frfr)

Between

Pairing- Ronal x reader x Neytiri

Summary- Your mates like to tease you, but teasing does always end somewhere else.

Warnings- threesome, fingering, clit slapping, teasing, praise kink, degradation kink, lmk if I missed anything

Tìyawn- love

Neytiri and Ronal sit next to you side by side in your shared pod, Ronal's hand sits gently on your thigh it inches higher and higher by the second. Neytiri cuts a little bit of wood for tomorrow but you know she can see. The two had been teasing you all day, bending over extra slowly when in front of you, lingering touches, kisses to the neck when no one was watching, and one time Ronal put her hand right under your loincloth just to pull away. It was simply unfair!

Neytiri gets up and was the first on the large cot. Ronal got up as well lying down next to her lover, you turn around were they going to sleep leaving you all needy. You got up and crawled between the two sitting on your knees a pout on your face. "What is wrong tìlor?" Ronal teases smirk plastered on her face. You roll your eyes gaining the attention of the Omaticaya woman next to you.

"You know what is wrong?" You say refusing to give them the satisfaction of telling them how needy you currently are. Biting the inside of your cheek averting their eyes now piercing into you. Neytiri plays with one of your stray hairs, "I do not believe we do Ma Ronal do we know what is wrong with our Tìyawn." She says looking at the teal woman next to her. "I do not maybe if she tells us we can help." She says rubbing her hand on your knee and sliding it upward your thigh.

You squeeze your thighs together trying to get a sort of friction to your untouched cunt. There eyes follow down your body watching you clench your thighs smiling to themselves.

"I think I know what is going on." Neytiri spoke as if she didn't know, "Our Y/N is just needy and is to prideful to say it." She teases. "Well if she is to prideful to tell us she really doesn't need us then does she." Ronal says making your eyes go wide and you shake your head no instantly.

"No no, I want you please." You whine out tears prickling at your eyes . Ronal sat up and and caressed your face, "That was all you needed to say." Was what she said before she guides you to lie down between them. Confused you look at Neytiri, "It is okay we will make you feel better." Was all she said before you felt your loincloth being untied and pulled off of you.

Gasping from the pool of cool air that hit your cunt, they chuckled. And before you knew it Ronal's index finger slide between you folds wet and sticky with your own arousal, giving the puffy bud a few gentle circles made your legs open up wider. She added her middle finger making the circular motion harder and rougher.

Neytiri slide her cool hands over your thigh and dove into you pulsating hole. Giving you a few experimental thrust, and then she added a second finger watching the way you reacted, the way you bit your lip so hard it almost bled, and the way a few tears fell from your eyes.

And now you were just there, there for the woman who were finger fucking you disposal and you wouldn't have it any other way.

They both left wet kisses on each side of your face, Neytiri whispered sweet nothings in your ear as she curled and stretched her fingers inside of you, along with "You are doing so good Ma Y/N" every now and then, along with "Good girl, My pretty girl."

As for Ronal she whispered degrading words and names into your ear, "Needy slut." As she tugged at you clit. "Couldn't go a day without having this pussy touched." She would say. "Our little fucktoy." Was her favorite to whisper loving the way your hips would buckle. It was the perfect mixture of praise and degradation.

Feeling your orgasm coming closer you tried closing your thighs before feeling a slap on your clit and the movement inside of you coming to a halt. "Keep them open or we will stop and you won't cum for a week." Ronal threatened knowing she wasn't lying, learned that the hard way, you opened your legs for them again and they continued to fuck your pulsing pussy.

"Your doing so good come on cum on our fingers I know you want to." Neytiri whispered to you curling her slender fingers upward hitting your cervix as she had been doing for a while. Ronal gave you one last tug at your clit along with a hard thrust from Neytiri was what pushed you over the edge, vision going blank, legs beginning to shake, nothing but them on your mind, arching your back almost subconsciously, moaning throughout your orgasm.

Ronal pulled from your clit motioning to your mouth, opening you liked them clean turning your head to Neytiri as she pulled her fingers from you. After Ronal you took her fingers swirling every last drop of cum off of them.

You got up and reached for your loincloth before being pulled down by Neytiri pinned to the bed. "Where do you think your going we're no where done with you." She said mischievous grin on her face.

Safe to say you definitely weren't needy by the end of the night.

[asexualbookbird]

BEHOLD! BOOKS I READ IN 2023!

A handful of rereads, a lot of new favorites, and I put a huge dent in my physical unread piles! I'm pretty happy with my reading year to be honest!

BEST OF 2023

Nettle and Bone by T Kingfisher - If I haven't talked about it enough please read this. An absolute DELIGHTFUL start to the year, which is odd to say of a book about abusive spouses and dead sisters. Like. I wanted to reread it right after finishing it, and will probably reread it this coming year, I loved it so much

The Untethered Sky by Fonda Lee - also heart wrenching but listen, there are BIRDS! Giant birds!!!! A strange pick me up during a bad time, but it WORKED!

To Shape A Dragon's Breath by Moniquill Blackgoose - Oh what a marvelous read, a delightful adventure, I look forward to book two!

Provenance by Ann Leckie - don't hate me, but I think I might enjoy this more than the Imperial Radch trilogy. It's really what I wanted from A Memory Called Empire, and it was so much fun to see the Radchaai from a different perspective!

The Liar's Knot by MA Carrick - DEROSSI VARGO, MY BELOVED! But also, this has such rich worldbuilding. Every time there's a Pattern reading in a scene, the authors did their own reading in real life and put the results in the book. They came up with multiple calendars for the world. And it never feels overwhelming, everything is integrated so naturally! Ren heists an entire family for her and her sister. A lovely brick of a book :)

Where the Drowned Girls Go by Seanan McGuire - I think this might be my favorite Wayward Children book so far, I'm glad these books are bite sized because I want to read them over and over <3

The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie - WHAT A FUNKY LITTLE BOOK!

WORST OF 2023

Black Wings Beating by Alex London - birds would not fucking do that. Why are we following the most insufferable of the characters. Why is everything about him, even the parts about his sister. Blegh.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo - this canNOT be the same book tumblr couldn't stop talking about for months. I know I shouldn't judge a book by its sequel, but I know about the glowing demon dick. Come on. Also, like, the whole book was building up to rescuing someone and then THEY NEVER DID! wtf lol

Tress and the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson - Snooze. Yawn. Snore. One of the most boring books I've read. I was right to avoid Mr Sandwich and his books.

Whalefall by Daniel Kraus - I feel bad because someone hyped this a lot and was excited about it, and so I was excited about it, but it read like it was written specifically for a movie in mind. It's just Daddy Issues™️in the ocean.

This does not include rereads, of which Name of the Wind was one. Yes, I still loved that one. Still fun, still weird that it never felt long despite being a BRICK. Proof I don't hate long books because they're long, I hate long books that don't have to be long. Which is why the Dishonorable mention goes to Priory of the Orange Tree lol Get edited, beloathed.

Anyway! Onwards to 2024! :)

[i-am-church-the-cat]

Logan Sargeant is a silly little guy

@vii-tto idk why but it wouldn't let me tag you. Hopefully you see this. also @spell-of-the-rain i added things if you want to check out 75-87

But here's the list of things i know/want to know about logan sargeant

Favorite Actor is Brad Pitt

Favorite Movie is Wolf of Wall Street

Favorite food is a hamburger

Has a boat and often goes deep sea fishing

Lived in London since he was 15

Lose Yourself by Eminem is his favorite hype up song

Is a Dolphins and Heat fan

Enjoyed “No Man, No Cry” by Jimmy Sax

Drinks iced lattes with oat milk

Pumpkin spice lattes?? Edit 12/16/23: No

Has been to Wimbledon

Knows what cricket is

Has a rescue dog named Coco

Also enjoys hockey Edit 11/1/23: Supports the Florida Panthers NHL team and has gone to at least 1 of their games with his friend Kyle Kirkwood

Does he follow college football?

What does he think of the new Miami head coach? 

If not for motorsport, does he think he would have gone pro in a different sport, and if so which one?

Enjoys listening to 50 Cent (is also a big rap fan in general)

Can he speak any other languages with any degree of familiarity?

Cannot draw

Can make a sandwich (other foods?)

Rates all food from one bite and with weird decimals

Gritty-ed in his f1 car

Makes the Williams photographers look like they take good photos

Does he have an English or a Florida driver’s license? And does he still have US citizenship even though he lives in the UK? What kind of visa is he on?

Top three female athletes? (Serena Williams, Simone Biles, and Megan Rapinoe are all acceptable answers) 

Collects Aussies and Kiwis for friends

Does he like the snow? Prefers the heat but does he like snow?

Does he like Missy Elliot? (Requirement) 

“Basic Halloween Bitch”

Calls people “mate” but in an American accent which will never stop being funny

Eye Crinkles™️

Does not have a set eye color he’s just too mystical for that

Has never been to a concert (presumably too busy with racing)

He can swim, he can drive, but can he ride a bike? Edit 11/15/23: He can indeed ride a bike

American commercial cars or  European ones?

Has an older brother but is like an older brother to Benny’s kid

Likes marshmallows

Does not like black beans

Did not think apple could be chips

Knows how to sail??

Knows how to golf

Can paddle (required for any F1 driver)

Lost the F3 championship in 2020 bc of a DNF in the last race

Can he sing??

Does he drink energy drinks? Red Bull or Monster? 

He and Duracell are passionately making out

Blush is very pretty 

Wears a lot of baseball hats

Somehow beat jet lag (expat king)

Mostly spends his nights in but he has some nights out (presumably very interesting ones)

Has an iPhone with a blue case

He looks very pretty in blue

His eyes are sometimes blue

Blue=fav color?? Edit 11/6/23: favorite color is Ocean blue (credit to @spell-of-the-rain)

Pretty insecure (armchair diagnosed anxiety)

Close with his brother and parents but maybe not his extended family?

Is Florida State his college team?? (Worst thing a man can be is a Florida St fan) Edit 12/16/23: believing that FSU got screwed over this year is acceptable

Did he graduate high school??

Did he ever consider going into NASCAR or did moving to Europe at a young age kind of set in stone his path towards open-wheel racing?

Hair is blond/dirty blond

Does he vote in American elections?? (If he supports RonD I cannot stan)

Burger Sauce™️

Logan Hunter Sargeant, certified Frat Bro, most American man ever

Has seen peaky blinder and presumably stranger things

Knows how to carve a pumpkin but has not celebrated Halloween at home in a bit

Possibly dating some instagram model

Caused $4 million in damages, gets payed $1 million a year, and supposedly brings in $30 million in sponsors

Key phrases: “Locked in”, “Bam/Boom”, “Done and dusted” Additions 11/1/23: "Oh hell yeah", "I think you're a little lost here, Chief". Additions 11/6/23: “Yeh” (gets quieter throughout the word (how it’s one syllable??)), “on the bounce” (credit to @spell-of-the-rain i believe)

Joined the Williams Driver Academy in 2021 

Got stuck in F3 bc he didn’t have the money to move up

Driver for Carlin in 2022

Former teammates include Liam Lawson, Oscar Piastri, Frederick Vesti (Edit 11/6/23: Max Fewtrell possibly?)

DOB: December 31, 2000

5'11

Had a giveaway for gloves he used to win an F4 race on Twitter in 2017 and both Lando Norris and Max Fewtrell replied

Originally his number was 3 but he switched to 2 for F1 (to much fan consternation who thought he had so many better options)

Childhood best friends with Kyle Kirkwood, a current Indycar driver

Logan's older brother Dalton raced in NASCAR until 2018

Did a commercial for Sport23

Does not have cowboy boots as of COTA 2023

Born in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, USA

lived in Switzerland from 14-15(?)

knows the conversion rate for a kilometer

is taller than a tuna fish

Podiumed at the Macau Grand Prix in 2019

Won the CIK-FIA championship when he was 14 Additions as of 11/1/23

Loves waffles but they are not his favorite dessert

Very patriotic (oh hell yeah)

is the first American F1 point scorer in 30 years and the first one to score on home soil since 1989

Went to see the Nets in NYC (but would have preferred to see the Knicks)

has a custom Miami Dolphins jersey with his last name on the back

Claims to know all the lyrics to "Ice Ice Baby" (credit to @formulaaone) (Edited 11/6/23)

Additions as of 11/6/23:

Under the same talent agency as Alex Albon

Has the same manager as George Russell

George Russell was his mentor coming up

Went to a catholic private school (credit to @wenevrknew)

Does not like fish? (Credit to @spell-of-the-rain)

He runs weird (in my opinion as he reminds me of my brother when he was 12 (he ran very strangely))

Karted in Las Vegas when he was a kid

Can he drive a stick shift? (Alex believes he cannot)

Enjoys video games

Refers to his car as “she”

Knew how to attach a visor to his helmet prior to February(? Could’ve been March but before the season) 2023

Additions as of 12/16/23

Broke his arm in a 2014 German Karting Championship when Marcus Armstrong took him out at T1 (credit to @spell-of-the-rain )

Has gotten his head eaten by the Golden Knights mascot

If he could have any superpower, he would like to teleport

Has never flown a drone

Favorite racing movie is Talladega Nights (sad Mater noises)

Does not trust other people to drive him

Would rather sleep in then get up early

Considers himself fairly organized

His mother makes a very good sweet potato casserole

Got his habit of worrying from his mom

“Santa’s Little Helper”

Driving for Williams Racing Formula 1 Team in 2024

Got out qualified by his teammate every race of 2023

[here-but-forgotten]

MORE RAMBLES

rambles | stu, billy, poly!ghostface | pt. 6

period sex/blood kink, discussion of their anger, domestic rambles.

Feral morning thought- convincing Billy to get tied up in some way and making him watch you ride a dildo while you’re on your period. His eyes just cutting into you as you bounce and moan with blood settling at the base.

On blood play note- riding stu on your period as he’s either actually submissive/forced to be still and Billy watching you until you pull off of him, right before stu cums, just for Billy to suck stu off with your blood in the mix. 100% creams his pants without anyone touching him.

Sometimes when stu is in a Mood™️ he becomes the clingiest bitch on earth. He’s grumpy and you don’t GET to leave he’s PISSY and he’s going to CUDDLE you for FUCKS SAKE. you + Billy give him kisses and share some candy with him and he feels better. might go out for a kill to work off some pissy baby attitude

there are days where Billy is needy and it is everyone else’s problem.

this is my little take on Billy + stu jealousy-anger-and such:

Billy- if Billy gets mad at you, it’s because of something that actually happened; any angry delusions are around the idea that someone could make you do the thing and he doesn’t blame you for that. He tries to not take his anger out on you and he tries to be mature about it but sometimes that’s hard. He would never physically hurt you. Only emotionally-mentally enough to make you relent to him.

If Billy gets mad and it’s not at you, it’s hard to tell unless he lets it known or it’s to you and Stu. He just conceals it. bitch would of loved frozen. he’ll go to you to talk about it. he’ll go to stu to talk about how to remove the problem. and he’ll go to both of you to ask for comfort. maybe comfort sex. maybe put him in his place sex. maybe murder.

stu doesn’t like getting mad at you because that’s how his exes ended up dead. but sometimes it’s inevitable. Billy does not let stu be mad at you in isolation. he’ll immediately try to talk to him about it and normally it’s an exaggeration delusion or something that can be talked out. stu doesn’t like being mad at you and he’s open to trying to fix it and he’s less of a Dick™️ to you -reader-Chan-

if stu is mad at not you, you jsut know. maybe others don’t. he’s like the concept of your mom coming home irritated from work and while she’s not mad at you, you can feel it. that’s stu. he really doesn’t want you getting worked up over it though. you’re his princess don’t worry about it. but he will 100% accept comfort kisses and you massaging his scalp.

I need you to know you could do something as simple and domestic as making them something simple like a sandwich and they’re both GONE. they’re both in love. jfc just treat them gently and let them murder and they will buy a ring.

stroke Stu’s cheek gently and call him your good boy and he is dead then and there

Date idea eating an entire xl Sam’s club JIF peanut butter jar with spoons

Have any of you seen that post ab a boyfriend showering with his gf and he cries over her gently washing his body and shampooing his hair? That’s exactly how I write the reader in all of these, that they’re the ones who’ve shown gentleness to be spared.

100% will kill your exes unless you’re explicit in that “were just better as friends/it was just not meant to be” and show that you would be genuinely mad at them if they killed them. If you don’t do that, they’re killing them either out of jealousy or revenge.

Random note: I’ve seen the ghostface - reader - j.d. ship and that’s fine it’s cute id like to be fucked by all three of them but like. J.D. is always their age. He’s like. Math older. 17 in 89, so… he would be 24 in 1996. I mean. Anyway none of that matters I’m just typing out of my ass.

[abitohoney]

So after a recent Big Move™️, I’ve finally gotten my household goods delivered to my new home. WOOT WOOT.

And as I pulled out some baking/muffin pans, I thought

Damn. I’d like to think I’d be rough and tough and a “don’t look at me wrong or I’ll punt your ass over a high-rise” sort of girl boss in the Arcane world.

But realistically all I want is to bake some treats for Sev and Ran. Make sure they’re eating good. Dust off and adjust their collar before they head out on a mission/task or to a meeting or whatever. Pack them little snacks or lunchboxes. Pretend to not be fussy over them since I also have my own work but actually unintentionally show ✨affection✨. Give them a goodbye kith. Be a lil Susie-homemaker in denial.

Also this moonshine is kind of hitting hard send help

OMG congrats on the big move! I still remember my first big move! Exciting (and exhausting)! Hopefully you're past the exhausting part and slipping into chill mode.

Hard same on thinking I'd be a kick ass girl boss in Arcane but really just wanna be Sev and Ran's little Honey homemaker. 🤓

Some silly, cute, fluffy thoughts inspired by this below the cut. SFW believe it or not.

Fussing over them and packing them lil snacks and lunches sounds like a dream! 🤩 Gosh, just imagine packing them both a little paper sack lunch for the first time. They just give you a look like "Seriously? What am I, 8?" Meanwhile you're just smiling at them adoringly.

Maybe they both sit with the rest of Silco's cronies come lunch time. They're already feeling ridiculous carrying they're matching paper sack lunches, but they're just assuming it's gonna be some lame old bologna sandwiches and stale leftover chips from the last Jericho's dinner.

They simultaneously open their bags to pull out not just any old sandwich, rather it's the freshest looking bread they've ever seen, holding equally fresh greens, meats, and cheeses. And best worst of all, you'd used cookie cutters to cut them into heart shapes. Sevika and Ran exchange glances, brows raised. They both set the sandwiches down, behind their bags, hoping to hide them from the rest of the gang, only to pull out more incriminating lunchables. Several slices of pineapple, cut into disgustingly cute little stars. Then comes the veggies, cause of course you made sure their lunches were a complete balance of nutrition. Chubby little baby carrots arranged on a thick homemade hummus in a flower design. One little cherry tomato decorates the center.

The coup de grâce to their humiliation? Custom, tiny cupcakes decorated in bright pink, red, and purple icing and bedazzled with heart shaped sprinkles of the same colors.

Another exchange of glances, cheeks flushed, then eyes averted downward. Neither dare make eye contact with anyone else at the table. Not that any of them would dare to even so much as snicker at Silco's second in command or top assassin. Not if they valued their life.

So Sevika and Ran consume their entirely too cute lunch in silence. It's an uncomfortable one, but deep down, beneath those hard exteriors, their hearts swell with pride and joy. They have someone like you- who cares so much- to so lovingly select, create, and craft the sweetest of lunches. And just for them. ♥️

Sending help ASAP! (It's just me in a box with holes so I can 'help' you finish off that moonshine)

Also, every time you send me something ISTG I get such a strong itch to write my poly Sev x Reader x Ran fic. I will some day. (Still anxiously patiently waiting for your writing too! <3)

[justsomekpopstuff]

stray kids as a hockey team - part 2

A/N: hi everyone! Hope you enjoy these as much as I did! If you are a kpop/hockey fan, or if you want to learn more about hockey, feel free to reach out! I am also working on Skz as D&D characters, but its taking me a bit longer. Keep an eye out!

current masterlist | fic recs

part 1

stray kids team colors are black, grey, and electric blue based on vibes and vibes alone

the team mascot is a feral fluffy bright blue monster, lovingly named Maniac

one time during the playoffs, the team had to go into double overtime, which means they played through the team's usual meal time

Defenseman!Changbin, of course, was officially starving and going into "hangry" mode. The team switched out starting goaltender!Lee Know with backup goaltender!Seungmin to preserve Lee Know's energy for a potential future game. Lee Know heard Changbin getting hungrier, so he went down the tunnel, and 10 minutes later came back with a full-on sandwich with all the fixings for Changbin to eat on the bench. No one knows how he made the sandwich or where it came from to this day.

starting goaltender!Lee Know has a running Weird Goaltender™️ bet with the entire team, all based around his love for his cats

He got teased one too many times and said "okay, payback time". Now, he regularly sticks little cat stickers over all of his teammates and their gear without them knowing. Whoever accumulates the most cat stickers by the end of the season gets to wear a tutu during the final regular season warm-up. Forward!Felix, forward!Han, and defenseman!Changbin lose regularly.

The team keeps a running tally of how many times everyone falls into and out of the bench during the season (it happens more often than you think)

They honestly try their best to be so careful, but because everything is so fast-paced its easy for them to just completely flop off of and on to the ice. 99% of the time everyone gets a good laugh out of it. At the end of the season they give an award for the best bench-fail of the season. Starting goaltender!Lee Know won one season with an incident just like THIS.

forward!Hyunjin once got a very big modeling contract offered to him when the team was out for a group dinner on an off day

He had to turn it down at the time because they were still in-season, but as soon as the agent left the entire team burst into (supportive) laughter. And, of course, without his knowledge, they called the agent back and told them to get him during the off-season.

when he was first brought on to the team, defenseman!Bang Chan let the managers know that as long as he was on the team, everyone would officially have a no-trade clause in their contracts

They brought him on because of his skill, and allowed him to form the team how he wanted. But that was something that he would not budge on - whoever he picked, as long as they wanted to be there, would be part of the team, no matter what. The higher-ups tried to sneak by him, which led to a multi-day protest where the rest of the team, led by Bang Chan, refused to get on the ice until everyone was brought back and present. Whoever is on the team, Bang Chan will always have their back (and that is why he is the captain).

one of the team's most iconic memes comes at the hands of forward!Han and defenseman!Jeongin

A player from the other team was getting chirpy and decided to ram into forward!Hyunjin as he was starting to skate towards the bench. In perfect unison, Han and Jeongin stood off the bench leaned over and started yelling every ridiculous insult under the sun at that player like two feral raccoons. Some particular highlights included "your hair looks like it came from a halloween store" and "you have the IQ of a preschooler" as well as many other more colorful insults. Fans made merch of feral raccoon Han and Jeongin that have become more popular than some of the team's regular merch.

when the three stars of the game are announced after each game, they come out and throw a plush version of Maniac into the stands for the fans

best tape job: backup goaltender!Seungmin, who uses taping his goalie sticks as a form of meditation before each game, and will sometimes volunteer to do some of his teammates tape-ups as well

worst tape job: forward!Felix based on nothing but pure vibes and energy

the whole team are close friends with hockey team!Ateez, but when they play each other all bets are off and it will be the most chaotic game anyone has ever watched

[stealingyourbones]

*walks in with shades and slides you two femurs and a tibia*

If SuperBrainDead were to sleep together, Kon would be spooning Tim, while Danny would be spooning Kon. BECAUSE if Tim sleeps in the middle of these two hunks, he's be feeling warm tempuratures on one side and cold tempuratures on the other.

BUT once it's summer, Tim is spooned by Danny, and Danny is spooned by Kon.

*pays your ecto-coffee and walks out of inbox diner*

*snatches the bones at near light speed*

Your offering is appreciated.

I’m just picturing Tim trying his best to get OUT of the cuddling during summer and curling up towards Danny. Danny is nice and cool even during summer but Kon? Kon is a living furnace. Dude photosynthesizes for god sake, this bitch would radiate heat like nobody’s business. Both Kon and Danny wanna cuddle but Tim is now sandwiched between someone incredibly hot and someone incredibly chilly. He just wants his seasonal bf cuddles please and thank you.

This is just glorious. The main issue is that both boys very much so wanna cuddle Tim. He’s perfect cuddling size. They just wanna hold him. It is cute to see Tim half awake and try to bap away the non seasonal bf to grumpily move over and have the Correct Seasonal Boyfriend™️ just drape over Tim like a koala.

Actually-

Bro what the fuck is that one scene from Hot Shots? That one where the protagonist grills an entire ass breakfast on his love interests stomach? If ANY of you know what I’m talking about, that scene is for some reason just sticking in my brain thinking about Kon being very warm.

What if they test it out one day? You know those vids where people cook eggs or cookies in their car in very hot parts of the world? Yeah it’s that but Kon using a tanning screen on the top of the Daily Planet. Tim and Danny have a cooler filled with shit they wanna try to cook on Kon. The pure fucking bafflement Dick must have gotten when he was FaceTimed by an excited Tim and Danny whooping and cheering, only to realize that it was because they successfully cooked bacon and eggs on Connor bc of how hot he got from photosynthesizing? Yeah that’s one of those calls that make you have to ponder your existence for a few days.

Sorry that your ask for rapidly derailed but I wished to share my crack idea.

[theshippirate22]

do you have any h/c steddie fic recs? perf where steve’s just insanely traumatised like my bby has hella ptsd

thanks!

omg fam you have come to the right place. literally all i read is hurt/comfort ESPECIALLY when it’s all happening to Steve I eat that shit up.

I’ve gotta start with @infinite-orangepeel’s like entire steddie profile because every fic dynamic is like:

steve: i am broken beyond repair and utterly unlovable nothing can fix me

eddie: mmmm what if we tried letting me fuck you into oblivion

which is 👌👌 but it’s also built on

eddie: i’m a monster and unforgivable and nothing will help

steve: mmmm what if we tried letting you fuck me into oblivion

so always always check out her stuff especially if you want some really good comfort smut (especially it’s rotten work that’s my favorite)

okay as for individual fics *cracks knuckles* listen. you’re about to see a pattern that is very telling about me and i want no beef about me because i just want to read the same fic but a little to the left let me be 😭

pulled from the grave by multi_fandom_help_me (completely out of it steve looking for eddie subconsciously supremacy>>>)

crybaby by purplekingdom (ah yes. steve convinced he’s completely unlovable. no i’m not projecting. don’t look at me like that.)

broken by cappuccino (wouldn’t be hurt/comfort without the Harrington Parents: Asshole Extraordinaires™️)

eddie munson and the dreamboy by pukner (insanely good. also baby steve makes an appearance and eddie is there to help him in ‘84 and stuff)

like i always do by AidaRonan (literally one of my favorites of all time this changed my brain chemistry)

take your silver spoon, dig your grave by fangirlandtheories (Harrington Parents: Asshole Extraordinaires Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. also one of my favorite eddie lines of all time “this sandwich is fucking orgasmic harrington”)

so let it out and let it in by fangirlandtheories (this one has the kids!!! maybe i’m still projecting too. whatever.)

picking at grout as i softly grieve by dropsofjupiter314 (i read this every single time i have a bad day)

you are sunshine by YouMakeMyHeartHowl (agonizing. i love it)

Gently, by TheDeathsWish (i read this probably twice a week)

drugs and candy by multi_fandom_help_me (thank god someone is addressing the russian torture thing that the show just. forgets about.)

five little things by ahappylittlehermit (once again addressing the trauma that the show just pretends doesn’t happen)

the world is a lonely place, you’re on your own by Literal_Multifandom_Trashcan (this has not once left my brain one moment since i first read it. also wayne is adorable)

You’re not bullshit by Roady_Roadster (fixes the soul crushing stancy breakup)

screams of the night and soothing songs by steviemunson (established steddie and they live with blind max <<3 my heart can only take so much)

wow that got long fast. maybe i have a problem. anyway thank you for asking because i always want to talk about my favorite fics and i hope you find some that you like!!!!! have a great day!!!

[scoobydoodean]

hi! i read your misogynist post and while i haven't read it all to analyze, this one stood out to me the most:

In 1.06, Sam cuts Dean off before Dean can accept an offered beer from Rebecca, but then as soon as Sam needs Rebecca out of the room, Sam asks her to not just bring them those beers... but also fix them sandwiches. Rebecca says, "What do you think this is, Hooters?" and Dean mumbles, "I wish" and we somehow lose sight of the fact that Sam literally just asked a woman to make him sandwiches which is possibly the number one misogynist man trope.

while that i'm not justifying or defending, the thing about this section is he ASKED rebecca those things to distract her and not have her come back in the room right away after grabbing the drink, because he needed to DISCUSS with dean what he just saw on the camera without freaking her out because that was her brother. i would have done the same thing, and i'm a girl.

I would greatly appreciate it if you would read posts fully before responding to them. That said, of course there's a context to Sam's comments. I in fact stated in the very portion of my post that you yourself quoted that he wanted her out of the room:

then as soon as Sam needs Rebecca out of the room, Sam asks her to not just bring them those beers... but also fix them sandwiches.

Misogyny almost always has a conversational motive/context. It isn't usually cartoonishly and randomly spewed. There's a context to Sam's request. There's a context to Sam lying to the women he loves and intends as life partners, and using the word "bitch", and usually being bad with women more generally, and tending to view women Dean might be interested in or who might be interested in him as loose distractions. But if you think the writers weren't aware of exactly what they were writing when they specifically went to sandwiches, I think you're wrong, and Rebecca's immediate objection to Sam's request lends to the author's awareness.

The context of that entire section of the post is not to demonize Sam, but to state that fans who push this narrative that Dean is a huge misogynist (in an effort to erroneously demonize him) are almost always contrasting him with Sam, who they believe to be some bastion of progressive morals who has never so much as looked at a woman lustfully (because that would be Evil and Bad™️). When shades of misogyny in Sam (that he is very very unaware of) are intentionally written into the script from the Pilot.

Kripke appears particularly fond of giving Sam an air of moral superiority that often backfires on him when he endeavors to judge Dean. 1.16 "Shadow"—another Kripke episode—is also a great example. Sam at one point criticizes Dean (who has gathered all of their major leads up to this point) for not "thinking with his upstairs brain", because Dean dared get a bartender's number while asking her questions about the victim. Sam, meanwhile, has been floundering reading books and getting nothing. Later in the episode, Sam peers up at Meg in an upstairs window as she undresses, and gets called a creep by a woman who passes by and sees him leering. It's again—a situation where Sam's initial intention isn't any brand of misogyny. He thinks Meg is bad news and is tailing her, but then can't help... looking... and then looking again. But it's so blatantly intentional from Kripke—especially the contrast of Sam peering in at Meg upstairs while Sam sits in a car below—downstairs.

The goal of the writing team in writing in these moments certainly isn't to make me think of Sam as some horrible evil man. It's simply to give him flaws with a fascinating and rich context that make him far more interesting than the Mary Sue some of fandom is obsessed with rewriting him to be. Sam's misogynistic moments don't endeavor to villainize him any more than Dean’s do—they provide fascinating insights into Sam’s relationship with and clashes with Dean, and add to other incidents where Sam takes on a morally superior air—perhaps, in some ways, out of subconscious jealousy. I won't link you to every single thing I've written adjacent to the subject, but for example, this post on how Dean earns money, how Dean pimps himself out for information, and how Sam and Meg both minimize Dean's contributions to the case in "Shadow" while Dean actually gets all of the leads (similar minimizations occur in 1.10 "Asylum"—which is another excellent example of Sam floundering while Dean repeatedly displays his brilliance, only for Sam to ultimately accuse him of having no mind of his own).

[transingthoseformers]

Various idw villains in sg, in my opinion:

Tarn: mixed tones of red and orange, some white, i just realized those are commonly considered medic colors in baseline and i am KEEPING IT. Blue optics. A simplified version of the mask, but still a mask. Hides his insecurity under a false confidence (and his mask) and an intense focus on the Decepticon code, may i gift him "i can fix this"–itus? Still obsessed with Megs, but unlike baseline it's more benign.

Sunder: navy blue and richer teal. Orange optics. His vibes are insanely off but he's secretly a himbo who means well, which isn't viewed upon so nicely in the sg autobots. Torn between replacing mnemosurgery with some other flavor of doctor, or having him reluctantly be a mnemosurgeon who tries to use his job for good like baseline Chromedome (angst time???)

Froid: black and gold with deep blue highlights. Mist blue optics. He's just a little guy™️ who's got a "I'm not paid enough for this shit" attitude, but he means his best for his patients. I like to think his theories are different in sg, but I'm unsure how to strike a balance between still keeping influences from Freud and it being less evil than what Froid's theories are in baseline.

Getaway: primarily black and deeper red/vivid green. Amber orange optics. Still an escapeologist, pretty amiable and sees good in everyone (despite being surrounded by assholes in the sg autobots). Would be immensely funny if, instead of being good at pretending to be a good guy, he's bad at pretending to be a bad guy.

Pharma: I'm squinting at my reference for him which is Not My Fave but I'm thinking of him maybe being charcoal gray, grape juice stain purple, and green or white highlights? Red optics. As far as his personality he used to be more confident but now he's a skittery thing, he downplays his several accomplishments and always puts others first (even if it means he's in a shit sandwich like SG Delphi). After Delphi he works with Tyrest for a while, which isn't ideal, and i feel like his behavior at this stage is like baseline but without the murder. He will get help.

Tyrest: maybe primarily a wine purple and tropical blue with a light brown-gray? Light lavender or white optics. i admit i haven't thought much about sg Tyrest as his personality is stickety to Shatter, but i feel like it's similar to baseline but minus the murder. He's haunted by his actions and up the shit crick without a paddle, but he'll get better i swear.

Atomizer: tropical green and sea blue with silver highlights? Blue or purple visor. sg Getaway's ride or die. Wow there's like nothing on tfwiki in his summary, so I'm going to make shit up and suggest in SG he's the skeptical type. I can see him having Opinions on some of getaway's plans but generally still helping

Scorponok: whoo boy why is he so many colors. Mostly yellow and red, replace the bright blue with bright red and keep the black? Definitely a blue visor. if i Shatter him, would he be a more benevolent scientist who cares for his creations type?

Trepan: i am absolutely lost on his personality because on one hand since he's so entwined with functionism and medical warcrimes i want to Make Him Worse, but on the other hand i want to see what it'd take to twist him away from that in Shattering his personality. Oh and color palette wise so far in tinkering he looks best with his brown swapped for a nice blue and yellow optics swapped for magenta/pink

Overlord: this sort of peach color with blue optics. Absolute sweetheart gentle giant in SG, probably.

[vodika-vibes]

Because I can’t help myself. Requesting from Best Friends to Lovers prompts. With hesitant Darman. 🫠

“I can’t imagine being with anyone but you” with “I’ve wanted this forever”. Or two separate fics. I won’t mind if it’s two separate fics. 😉

You know you’re quickly becoming the unofficial official writer for our favorite Republic Commandos. ❤️

One More is Never Enough

Summary: Darman asks you on a date.

Pairing: Darman Skirata x Reader

Word Count: 763

Warnings: None

A/N: Sorry this took so long, my perfectionism kept telling me that what I was writing wasn't good enough. I think I'm happy with this one though. I think. I also haven't finished my coffee, so who knows. You said you were having a Time™️, so I hope this helps, at least a little.

Divider by Saradika

Of all of the things you hate most in the world, paperwork is the top of the pile. Followed closely by inventory and getting shots. Which is why you’re glowering at the towered stack of flimsy on your desk.

Just because you’re good at paperwork, doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to do the paperwork.

“Why?” You ask the room at large, not expecting an answer.

You flip through some of the flimsy, and your scowl deepens. Some of this paperwork doesn’t even belong to you.

“Ah, you’re back.” You jump when you hear Darman behind you, and you whirl around to glare at him, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“What the hell is this?” You demand, gesturing at the desk and the stacked flimsy.

Darman glances at the paperwork, and he makes a face. “It was your supervisor's idea, not mine.” He replies immediately, “Everyone else is getting started on inventory, so they left their paperwork to you.”

Your jaw drops and you’re torn between screaming and cursing up a storm. 

Darman slowly, and hesitantly, places some more paperwork on your desk, “Sorry.” He says sheepishly as you turn a furious glare onto him, “In my defense, this is yours. It was left on the printer.”

You snatch the top piece of paper off the stack and glare at it, and then your shoulders slump. He’s right. Not only is he right, you’ve been looking for these documents for the better part of an hour.

“I don’t want to be here all night doing paperwork.” You whine, turning a petulant pout onto Darman as though he’ll help you. And you’re surprised when he averts his gaze and rubs the back of his neck.

“I mean…I can stay and help, if you want?” He offers, “Maybe…maybe after we get dinner though.”

You beam at him, “Darman Skirata! Are you asking me on a date?” You ask gleefully.

“Um…I mean, if you want…?” He offers in return, still not really looking at you.

“Of course I’d like to go on a date with you!” You reply, “I’ve wanted that forever!”

He blinks at you, “You have?”

And you sigh. “Apparently my flirting was a bit too subtle.”

“You were flirting with me? When?”

“Like, every day since they say we met?”

“...where was I when this was happening?” Darman asks.

“Apparently not there.” You counter, slightly sarcastically.

He laughs nervously, “Sorry, mesh’la. I guess it was just a little too subtle?”

“It’s alright. Apparently most people are really bad at recognizing flirting.” You admit as you finally drop the documents back on the table and hurry to his side. “So,” You say as you beam at him, “Where are we going for food?”

“There’s a little sandwich shop not far from here,” Darman offers, The food is good and cheap.”

“Good and cheap is my favorite!” You lightly wrap your hands around his arm and tug him out of the office. And he follows you willingly.

You don’t quite make it to the sandwich shop before Darman tugs you into a small alley, and lightly sets his hand on your shoulder. He looks nervous, but also determined.

“Darman?” You ask, as you look up at him. 

“I…um…” He pauses, as he tries to gather his thoughts, “I just wanted some time with you without having to deal with other people…or work.” Darman says slowly.

You smile up at him, soft and sweet and painfully fond. “You could have asked, darling.”

“I know. I just…I…” He shakes his head, and his hand moves from your shoulder to brush lightly against your cheek, “I can’t imagine being with anyone but you.” He whispers.

Your face heats with slightly flustered embarrassment, but you’re unable to look away from him. There’s something in his gaze that speaks of adoration and worship and your stomach flips with a nervous excitement. 

“Mesh’la,” His voice is a low rumble that causes shivers to run down your spine, “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” You say, quickly enough that it would have been embarrassing if this was anyone other than Darman.

His smile is warm as he leans in and gently brushes his lips against yours. It’s not the deep, passionate kiss that you were expecting. But it was so tender that you couldn’t help but lean into him to try and get more. 

Darman’s hands settle on your hips, and you release a soft sigh, “Again?” You ask, your voice plaintive. 

His hands are warm against your cheeks, “As you wish,” He whispers as he leans in for a second kiss.

[pixeljade]

Like i do try not to be judgy of what other people do because its a hellworld and its harder and harder to find little fragments of joy and so if something a little problematic brings you joy generally im not gonna make a huge deal out of it. Like. Whatever, there's no way to be 100% ethically pure and honestly attempting to be such just feels like "Moral Absolutism 2: This Time Its Progressive!™️" which fuck that too.

But it hurts, it genuinely fucking is painful in a physical way in my heart sometimes, seeing how 99% of people simply will not give up Harry Potter or Chick Fil A for trans people. I have known trans people who *took their own lives* because of laws funded by these motherfuckers. I am myself forced to consider if I could survive detransitioning. I think theres a fair chance that if I were forced to I'd be in so much anguish I would rather die. So it really does end up feeling like everyone who is refusing to give these up is simply saying to me "I would rather have a chicken sandwich in my life than you".

Like if there was ever a grey area, that grey area is gone and dead, the anti-trans movement is taking lives and you're unable to make one little concession to stop it. You arent an ally at that point, you are a coward at best.

And if you're one of the millions who want to send me an anon message telling me "I wish you would kys" like I get constantly lemme tell you the feeling is mutual.

[trombonesolo]

The Terrible Alfred Spožek exhibit of the Museum of Modern Hurt opened today. I took my wife and her children to see what all the fuss and bluster was about. A guard stopped us at the entrance and told us the exhibit was full and there would be an hour wait, then handed us a restaurant pager and showed us to an empty exhibit by one Giulia Bhoulârd. It was a series of crayon and lard paintings of naked men gripping their cock and balls in one hand and eating a variety of sandwiches in the other. Needless to say I didn't cover the kid's eyes, because I couldn't give a shit about the little bastards.

After about 20 minutes, our restaurant pager buzzed, so we shuffled back out into the main hall. The guard took our pager and led us into the exhibit, which was shielded by a pair of thick blackout curtains. When our eyes adjusted to the dark, we realized we were surrounded by hundreds of knives, and before we could turn around, the guard had already piled more people in behind us. We were about 40 adults and 10 children, and the room could hardly accomodate a party half that size. I was immediately separated from the kids, which provided a small sense of relief in the odd atmosphere.

Eventually, the curtains' rhythmic parting ceased and the room was full. The murmur of the crowd died to a chill hush as a spotlight shown above us. Mr. Spožek was sitting in an extremely high chair, much like the chair of a lifeguard, in the center of the room. He began to speak through the microphone clipped to his sweater vest.

" Ladies and gentlemen, today it is my great pleasure to present to you my latest piece, commissioned and sponsored by the museum's board of patrons. It is the sole piece in my exhibit, and I assure you all it is unforgettable. Without further ado, let's begin." Suddenly, I noticed the pair of construction-grade noise protection ear muffs on his head, and I instantly developed a very unpleasant sensation in my chest, much akin to the time I ate a vegetarian hoagie that gave me food poisoning. I never trusted a Subway™️ again.

With his rather vague introduction concluded, umělec a malíř Alfred Spožek snapped his fingers, and 100 trillion knives shot out of the walls and directly into every single person in the room. Not a single human being, save for the man in the high chair, could possibly escape the trajectory of the projectiles. We were trapped like hogs in a slaughterhouse pen, and the machines were hungry. I felt my muscles and sinew twist and rupture as the mass of my flesh was split and pushed aside by the cold stainless steel of the cutlery. The unceasing projectile fire of the wall-cannons shook the entire building.

My first, piercing thought upon feeling the sensation was of the time in high school I roasted marshmallows on the beach with the foreign language studies club to commemorate our exchange students' final day in the country. My best friend of 12 years, Alex Stewart, had just pierced my cheek with a red hot poker after trying to feed me his burnt marshmallow. After a drunken half-assed attempt to treat me with the first aid kit in his glove box, we made out for 40 minutes and I never saw him again. I saw my dumb wife's stupid face twist into shock as the knives struck her and all I could think about was Alex's dick and how much I had wanted to see it. Last I heard he was working for an Irish indie game studio or some shit like that. I couldn't believe I had missed out on that entire package just for this dumbass wife who didn't even know you have to keep the fridge closed or the milk will spoil, or her shitty kids who asked me over and over how an RC car works, even when I had already explained down to the excruciating detail how RF waves work and why I won't allow them in my household. I'm glad I was separated from them in this moment. They'd probably ask me how knives can fly.

After about 5 minutes of utter carnage, Alfred Spožek slowly climbed down from his wooden high chair, and rubbed his fingers over the slash and claw marks that had accumulated over the day. He sighed and waved at the guard. "That was the last batch for the day. Tell the waiting guests and notify the crew for me, would you please?" He turned on his heels and stepped directly onto my penis as he walked out.

I hope Alex never comes to this stupid fucking museum.