#but i wish it had been easier to be a tomboy sometimes

[pennyserenade]

when i was shopping with my friends during spring break in cali there were a few masculine looking outfits in the women’s section, and i liked most of them but i told my friend i couldn’t wear them and when he asked why i told him it was because i looked like a little boy in stuff like that. and he said “that’s the point” and i had to stand in front of that boy shirt and mourn the little girl i used to be.

[deadlyweapon567]

Sub Yandere Tsu’tey x black fem reader

Also forgot to say the reader is a tomboy in this. She’s in the was in the army before joining the program. She’s also has a more muscular form because of it, also tall. The reader has some ignorant moments aka calling the Navi blue people instead of na’vi or omatikayan people. The reader has like the military type of ignorance Basically like how Jake was but a little more.

Y/n pov

You know I never thought I every wake up to a blue nigga mean mugging me and what seems to be like Jake getting cussed out and smacked on the back of the head by a na’vi woman. I chuckled which soon turned into a groan as I sat up. “She’s alive…unfortunately”. The guy mumbled that last thing but I heard it. I shoot him a glare. “Do we have problem”. Standing up on my feet only to hunch a little in pain. This blue bitch nigga laughs at me. So I punch him right in his mouth. Which I immediately regret cause a sharp pain came to my side again. The guy looked shock but that quickly changed into anger. He stormed out of the tent. With a blue lady running after him but not before glaring at me. “Why did you do that y/n”. Jake said annoyed. “That’s what he gets for mumbling and cackling” I shrugged. “Where we at anyways”. “The omatikayan clan has let us stay here and teach us their ways.” I sighed “I don’t wanna learn their ways or anything. Let’s not act like we aren’t trying to get them to move. So we can get there materials. Which it seems like you forgot. Also how many days have I have I been out.” “You been out for seven days. And I haven’t forgot okay, and if anyone ask we are part of the jarhead clan.” “Wtf jarhead clan really that’s the best you got.” “Look I was put on the spot. Here’s some clothes, dinner will be ready soon.” With that Jake heads out of the tent. I put on the clothes and man when I tell ya took me 30mins. I also feel extremely uncomfortable like this is barely any clothing. I guess I don’t have a choice. As soon as I walked in to were everyone is gathered, they shot me a look. I saw a spot near the guy I punched earlier. Which seems to be the only spot left unfortunately. I sighed and walked over there. Luckily he just gave me a look cause if he would of said anything it would have been a wrap. I sat down and started eating my meal. After that Jake showed me where I was sleeping and that tsu’tey will be the one to train me. Which I rolled my eyes to that and head to bed. All of sudden I feel someone shaking me roughly. I groan and open my eyes slowly. Of course to no one’s surprise it’s him. “Wake up your train starts now.” With that he left. I’m guessing he wants me to follow him. I stretch and hoped off the bed mumbling “ lord give me strength” as I ran to catch up with him.

Fast-forward

Man training with Tsu’ey is a pain. If he’s not scowling at me, he just stares. Which be creeping me out at times. Sometimes it’s actually kinda cute cause I see him blush a little bit. Idk maybe staring is apart of their culture. Though I noticed that none of the males really interact with me. I probably not what they’re looking for not exactly the normal body type. Wasn’t back home either so I shouldn’t have expected anything different here. Most days I fine with how I look but sometimes I can’t help but wish my arms weren’t so muscular especially when I wear dresses. I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Mo’at call me over.

Tsu’tey pov

…… to be continued

I hope you guys like it let me know if there any grammar errors.

https://www.tumblr.com/deadlyweapon567/716228707395731457/i-need-to-get-a-laptop-asap-its-much-easier-to

Here’s the link to pt.1

Bye😗😶😐😌✌🏽

[meteor752]

The DL kids on Empires part 3: Stay or go?

Entering Hermitcraft was a dream come true for most of the kids. Gertrude, Liana, and Wes had dreamt of it since they were children, to see the place they’ve heard so many stories about.

When it actually happened though…it was a lot less exciting than they’d expected.

If you remember from last time, Liana, Wes, and Jassy jumped through the rift with the other Hermits, not really processing that they left the other four behind.

They came not soon after, but all seven knew the impact of the decision that had been made.

Anyways ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Like with part one, we will be going over the kids character by character, which means new desiiiiiigns.

Liana

(Girl got a mad glow up tbh. Back again to her bright colors now that she’s once again a salesman. Also decided to actually put her hair up, because hair gel can only do so much to keep it out of the face. Also her pipe, that I forgot she had lol)

Liana was fricking ecstatic about being on Hermitcraft. She had been a bit down and depressed on Empires (Case you couldn’t tell), but Hermitcraft truly was a breath of fresh air

She spent days just flying around the server, looking at every build she could meticulously, checking every shop in the shopping district, and trying out every Redstone contraction

Has gotten used to her prosthetic, and despite being a bit wobbly from time to time and needing a cane, she can mostly walk just fine without her crutch.

Hermitcraft is the first server she’s on with an actual economy, and she plans to scam every single member out of all they have.

Being a natural born liar, she isn’t afraid to make up fictions about products, or upsell in every opportunity she gets. She mainly does this with The Entity, as getting a shop of her own would be way too much work, but she’s also seen using her tactics at Scarland.

Her and Jassy stay in Scarland, since they aren’t exactly capable of building their own base. Liana has ambitions of her own company, but it’s a long way there

She stays out of Christmas village for the most part, since most of the other kids are staying there. She fears the confrontation

She wishes she had a chance of meeting Mumbo, but unfortunately he’s off server. Sad :(

Wes

(Big boy finally got a haircut, good on him. Went with some dwarf vibes for him, with the heavy boots and gauntlet. Healing pot and Nightvision are a must when you’re down in the mines constantly. Also wookit his lil smile, he’s happy :D)

Struggles a lot at Hermitcraft, since he’s on horrible terms with his boyfriend. Jekiv is kinda his crutch and helps him with his anxieties and OCD, so without him it was kinda difficult

Wes stays with Impulse in favor of BDubs since that relationship is beyond saving, building a quaint house not too far from his fortress.

He helps with restocking Iluminate and iBuy in any way he can, though also False with the copper and XB with Iron blocks. He just likes mining, but has no use for the actual wares he gets from it

Visits BDubs at least once a week for a cup of tea or something, because he still wants to bond with his dad. He’s still a little much sometimes, but it’s better than it’s been before

Jassy and him become amazing friends during this period. They’ve always had a close friendship, but when it’s just the three of them they got even closer. Especially since they are kind of step siblings

Yeah there’s that too. Wes really likes Zedaph and Tango, the same with Etho, it’s just strange to see his parents…not married. Together with other people. They were so lovey dovey on Double Life, but now they act as just general friends

Despite it all, Wes does enjoys Hermitcraft so much. He loves his dad, kind of likes the other one, enjoys the builds and redstone everyone makes (Impulse is even teaching him some simpler farms!), and loves the community. He just wishes Jekiv loved it more

Gertrude

(Back to the Tomboy look lol. Easier to work in. Also yes she’s wearing a wielding helmet over her glasses, it’s a look alright! Also this is the first time y’all see her stomach, and yeah she’s absolutely shredded)

Gertrude is…conflicted. It’s nice to see where her dad is from and see some of his builds, but she really loved Glimmergrove and the Empires server. She loved that she could be both a princess and a monster hunter, she loved having Katherine as her mentor, she loved just…being.

And yeah, she’s angry as fuck about Wes, Liana and Jassy jumping through the portal with the intent to leave them all behind. Never mess with an angry werewolf, they’ve got more bite than bark

So while she stays on Hermitcraft, she stays out of the other kids business, the only one she really interacts with being Novo.

But through her dad, she meets Doc

Docm77 is someone she’s heard of through Ren, both by being one of his best friends and by being one of the best and most clever redstoners of his time.

So yeah, Gertrude is fascinated. She’s always enjoyed the craft of redstone, the idea that you can do and make whatever you want with just some red powder and a few pistons, and Doc takes it to levels she’d never even thought of. He brought an Enderdragon, a thing she’s only heard of in storybooks, to the overworld and tamed it!

So Gertrude hangs around the creeper all day, absorbing every bit of information she can. Doc isn’t against it, she’s a bit like Ren with the wild puppy energy, just a bit more chilled out.

She also loves the Dragon, it’s surprisingly friendly

Johnny

(As I’ve said before, there’s only so many western looks. Also the hat burnings probably got too tiresome, so no more hat :( Also Butternut! I mentioned her in part 1 I think, but yeah, there she is! She’s a Mustang! Of course Johnny brought her through the portal, what’s a country boy without his horse?)

As I said in part 2, Johnny is very conflicted over everything, but not for the same reason as Gertrude. No, for him it’s difficult because his two dads live in each of the different servers, and he knows he’s gonna have to choose between the two.

And Johnny really doesn’t want to choose. He’s the only one of the kids with equal love for both of his dads, who’s had no hiccups in his relationship with them, who just wishes to have Double Life back.

But he doesn’t have that option, and before he even jumps into Hermitcraft he knows what his choice will be

So the five months they are there, Johnny spends every minute with, Tango assisting him with Decked out 2 for the most part. It’s a bit strange to see his dad all frosty instead of Fiery, but his temper is still the same, he’s still his dad.

He also attempts to bond with his dads two partners, but Impulse is around Wes a little too much so it’s mostly with Zedaph. Johnny is a good mob herder though, so it’s easy to get things for Zed’s experiments. Zedaph probably loves the kid more than Tango

Because of all this, Johnny doesn’t see much of his pa. He visits him from time to time, but it’s more of a once every few weeks type of deal. Johnny never learns of Tiny Tom

Jassy

(Girl got the Sailor Moon space buns got the Sarashi, got the forearm blades, she’s dripped out. I had another design for her originally, but changed it immediately when the two heroes thing got added. Also, she’s missing her mask! That will be explained later….)

Jassy is fucking ecstatic, she don’ even care about the whole rift between the gang. Her wife and best friend are both team HC, and she gets to meet her favorite dad again. So yeah, how the others were feeling was not her prio at all

Finding Etho’s base was surprisingly easy, no the real problem was finding Etho

Jassy spent a week searching every inch of the main server area, and other places he might be drawn too. After three days she actually called upon the help of BDubs and Beef, the two people who knows him the best

A day after eventually giving up, Etho just showed up in the shopping district looking for rockets

Great waste of time

Etho was a lil iffy and awkward about, I mean wouldn’t you, but he adjusted better than most. But because Joel was so different than he was from last life, the two didn’t get along in the same way they did. They barely hit it off at all in fact. Jassy was bummed

It was strangely lovely to see Etho interact with BDubs though. He was happy in a different way than he ever was with her and Joel. Happy in the same way Jassy is with Liana

Her and Liana stays in Scarland for easy access to Liana’s business ventures, and Jassy mainly just vibes and does her thing. Etho starts teaching her a little redstone, she enjoys that

Unlike Liana and Wes, she does check out Christmas Village and still vibes with Joel. Even goes back to Empires for a few days to visit and hang out with Hermes.

While Jassy was fully fine with being a big sis to Hermes, she’s less than thrilled over the three new surprise siblings she gains

Tiny Tom is around for maybe two days, and Mandy Mane and Rucking Rat are mainly taken care of by Oli, so it’s not a whole lot there but also like holy void dad

Jekiv

(Jekiv, like Novo, has really grown during his designs. He’s going through entire character arcs with every new look, we love that for him. Also Jekiv hair reveal! It’s very dirty, raggedy and patchy, hope y’all didn’t expect much lol. My boy continues with his skull motif too)

*Inhale* *Exhale* BOI-

Jek is straight suffering aright. Him and Wes are the only couple with separate views on the whole situation, wildly separate views at that.

As stated in the relationship analysis, Wes and Jek is a complicated situation. They have a fragile relationship that works for them, but it’s not built to last. So the whole ordeal is like someone finally pulling the final piece of the late stage jenga tower that has been there for years. It all crumbles.

Jekiv stays as far away from Wes as possible. He spends almost all of his time in Christmas Village or the surrounding area, studying his necromancer abilities. He’s able to summon up body parts of the dead, like a hand or a leg, but he’s yet to be able to make them do his bidding.

Ignoring his problems is like second nature to Jek. The only difference now is that he doesn’t have anyone around he can vent all of his frustrations out from time to time. He doesn’t want to put that all on Shubble or his mom, so he bites his tongue.

He just wishes to go back to Empires as soon as possible, but with the server being close to deserted (and he hates being alone), he’s forced to stick around.

Help around a lot of Christmas village, from the building of the bases to the decorating of the tree. He’s a Christmas fan alright?

Novo

(My boy, in all of his glory. As stated before, Novo is my favorite of the kids based on looks alone, I think he looks amazing and I love making him. Beard a la Hunter Games style, plus a snazzy hat and snazzy shoes. The boy has drip, you just don’t know what it is yet)

Novo is…fine. Really, he’s fine. Since he’s the one with the worst relationship with his parents he’s usually the one who struggles the most with like, everything, but no he’s fully okay. Sure, Christmas Village makes it much harder to avoid his dad, but at one point you just sorta accept that he’s there

He travels around the server a lot, partly exploring and partly just keeping up with his new job as a bard. The Hermits hate his singing and playing just as much as the emperors, but they have actual diamonds when they wish to pay him to leave

Man accidentally becomes the richest of the kiddos

Is stoked he gets to hang around Jekiv a lot like when they were younger. He loves Jek, despite everything, he’s like his big brother (Even though Novo technically is the oldest), and even though Jekiv can’t stand him for more than five minutes it doesn’t bother him

Also, he becomes a babysitter. Mandy Mane and Rucking Rat just pop up one day, no idea how they got there (They don’t actually know where kids come from, as they all just spawned in and their parents never bothered with telling them), but now Novo is an uncle! And a terrible one at that!

Out of all the Team Empires kids, he’s the only one who’s kinda cool with the Team Hermitcraft kids. As stated, Jassy visits occasionally and while Jekiv immediately dips when she does, Novo is pretty friendly with her. Well, as friendly as he can be

So yeah, that’s the kids! Bye!!

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Okay I’m joking

The Empires people are at Hermitcraft for five months. For four of these months, the group is divided with most not speaking to each other, and some barely speaking to anyone at all. It’s an issue.

Novo and Jassy, the two who are the least affected by the rift, finally decide to take action. Their partners, Gert and Liana, are suffering, and so are their best friends.

The root of the problem does lie within Jekiv and Wes. Jekiv is pissed and Wes is sad and ignores most people, so if they tried to get all seven of them in one room it would be chaos. The best solution would be to trick Jek and Wes into figuring out their problems, then extend it to the group as a whole.

So, with the help of the Soup Group, they devise a plan to get them talking.

Impulse and Gem make sure Wes stays down in the mines, distracting him, while Novo lures Jekiv down to the same mines, saying he’s found some crazy Zombie-Skeleton hybrid. As soon as Jekiv is down there, Impulse, Gem, and Novo sneak out as Pearl sets off an explosive in the mountain, causing a cave in. Jekiv and Wes are now trapped in a closed off mine, with nothing to do but talk to each other.

And talk they do. It takes them two hours to stop arguing and shouting at each other, both saying some real nasty stuff they will come to regret later (Oh I have a fic idea now, hehehe), and when they’re both sore in the throat they just try to get out in silence. Fortunately, Pearl is an expert in explosives, and knows exactly how to set them off just right. The mine is too unstable to try and escape from the inside, so their only hope is to wait for help. And, since they’re not technically players, they don’t have any communicators either.

(Unbeknownst to the both of them, Jassy is hiding in a dark corner of the mine with Gem’s borrowed communicator, ready to message Impulse when they can all be let out. Despite the striking white hair, she can easily avoid being seen. Anime logic)

And eventually, four hours in (Jassy is bored as hell at this point), the two finally get to actually talking. About how things changed since they left Double Life and how they drifted apart. Wes admits that he misses the server, and while he doesn’t wanna go back, he can’t help but yearn for it in a way. Jekiv talks about how he misses his dad in a weird way, and that he’s disappointed that he’s not there. Since none of the parents remember them, he hoped that they could’ve gotten a fresh start.

They talk about Hermitcraft and Empires, about how Wes wanted to leave the server because he just wasn’t happy in Gobland, and how it all freaked him out too much. Jekiv talks about how he wanted to stay because on Double Life he was weak, with being the worst fighter out of all of them, but as a Necromancer studying under Shelby he actually feels kind of powerful.

They see each other’s side. And while they can’t agree with each other about their choices, they can respect it.

Jassy let’s them out.

They all call for an official meeting in one of Scarland’s houses, and while yes they do have to trick the others into coming there, it’s important.

And so they just sit down in a circle, two of them sulking, one of them sad, and the other four ready to get this over with.

Everyone lets out their frustrations about practically everything. All they’ve been holding in for twenty years finally comes out.

Their issues with their parents, with themselves, their trauma from Double Life and their parents deaths, their regrets, their insecurities, why they either wanna stay on Hermitcraft or go back to Empires, all of it is laid out. Almost an eleven hour talk (Scar gives them snacks halfway through).

When they all grow tired they take a group nap together in a pile on the floor, Jekiv taking the time to study a spell while snuggling in Wes’ arms.

And they learn to accept that, maybe this is then end. Twenty years joined by the hip all seven, Will finally come to a close. They take solace in that at least they can visit each other all the time.

Until Grian announces that the rift is slowly closing, and if the Emperors wish to return then they better get their stuff ready and soon.

So they stand their with the rest of the member of both servers when the rifts is just big enough to squeeze a person through, all of them heartbroken.

Many goodbyes that day.

Jekiv, Novo, Johnny, Jassy, and Gert all say goodbye to their parents. While some (Johnny) are more upset than others (Novo), it’s still difficult for all of them.

Gertrude and Liana say goodbye to Doc and Pixl, their mentors.

And then…

They say goodbye to each other. Liana, Jekiv, and Novo have it difficult. They’re all besties (apart from Jekiv to Novo he can’t stand him), and all openly sob into each other’s arms.

Jassy gives Johnny a letter to give to Hermes. She was intending to say goodbye herself, but she never got the time. She also gives him her mask. Hermes always loved the thing and used to steal it to wear himself, something she did with Etho’s mask when she was a kid, so it’s something to remember her by.

Last but not least, Jekiv and Wes. The unlikely couple, forced together by someone else’s intervention, staying together out of convenience, but then keeping on going with each other out of determination and love.

They promise each other they will meet again. They will fix their code to make them able of server hopping, and then they will find each other and stay with each other for good.

And to keep that promise, Wes slips a simple golden ring on one of Jekiv’s fingers.

Then they leave through the rift just as it closes, gone.

Hopefully not for good

[acoldsovereign]

Hi, Guillotina! I know you're still in the midst of setting up your blog and all, including new rules for followers (as you've said already), but I hope it's okay for us anons to still send you random IC & OOC asks! If not, you can delete-- I'll understand. ;w; I won't comment on recent dash stuff but I just wanted to check in and see if you/the people involved were okay???? I know you care about Saiyans a lot. Like, a lot, a LOT-- maybe more than anyone I know or seen so far. (In case I sound like a creep, I swear I'm not!) I was here when you first had Google Docs and had a really cute section about relationships/shipping stuff with Bardock. (Was also here when you first set up your Sites page and had an even *cooler* section about the diversity of the Saiyans' gene pool, explaining why Maiz looked so different! Not to mention your cultural & biological headcanons as well but that's neither here or there). So, I just wanted to check in on you. 🥺 I also say this because of your recent Toriyama post (didn't know he said that about female Saiyans omg! Everything makes so much sense now, haha. I was confused for years man 😭 ). Point is, I see how much Saiyans mean to you overall and I think it's rad to see as a fellow female fan of the series! Can you explain more of your muse choice to me? Like, what went into making her? I know you said she came from a fanfiction but I remember on your old blog, you also said she predates it?? Sorry If I'm misremembering! I just think you and your blog are cool! Keep on trucking!

{{ Heyo! Yes, that rule is still in place, anon! I will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS enjoy receiving random asks (IC or OOC) from mutuals and anons. Though I'm private nowadays, I will extend this courtesy to non-mutuals as well! (How else am I supposed to know we're a potential match as writing partners if I don't extend that olive branch, y'know?). With that said-- awwww, you were here for all for that?! 🥺 My pre-Sites days too and during them?! That means you've kept an eye on me ever since I stepped onto the RP scene here.... You're an OG, you know that right?! I didn't expect this sweet and heartfelt message, so thank you so much for taking the time to write this out. I'm smiling so much like a goofy goober. This means the world to me. But yes, I'm okay. I got two new good friends out of said dash stuff (though we were mutuals already, anyway/had already been interacting). Anyway, yeah, I'm good! They're good, too! Thanks for checking in with us!! I'll tell them you sent good wishes, granted if they don't see this beforehand. :3

About Saiyans meaning a lot to me-- yeah. I wish I could remember the interview it was revealed in, but he was asked about it at some point to where he said something to the effect of "I didn't know how to design them/couldn't figure out their appearance", something like that. It stuck with me because like I've mentioned in my Toriyama post, many toxic (as in sexist/misogynistic fanboys and overall creepy ass people) tried to make DB a thing I wasn't allowed to participate in, all because I was born a girl which was and is-- bullshit. Women aren't a different fuckin' species, man. We like the same shit as men sometimes and that's alright. Trying to put me into a girly girl box is what made me into a rebellious ass tomboy (much like Videl who I somewhat related to, growing up). Only in my late teens/early adult years did I embrace my femininity (yes, I was vain and shallow like Bulma at times. I was also a bit too loose with money when I had some, so I understand her casual attitude regarding her wealth, but that's neither here or there). Point is there was and always have been room for female fans of the series, so when I heard that from the horse's mouth himself? Yeah, it was a wrap. That was it. Nobody could tell me SHIT. That's one thing about me: If I learn something is true and it makes my life easier, I will not listen to anything else. I'll do my own thing. I'm a bit stubborn like that but trust me, it's a good stubborn. Otherwise, I'm very open-minded about many things and I'm a good listener.

As I stated on more than one occasion, I started RPing in a chatroom of an anime-pirating website, while I watched DBZ Kai. After I finished the anime (and lost my original RP group of friends), I coped by scouring the Internet for more RP forums and platforms, of which eventually led me to Facebook. I ran into some mishaps here and there in the DBZ RP space but that aside, the highs were worth it and I stayed for a long while. I mostly specialized in Android/Cyborg OCs and Saiyan OCs. So yes, you are right by saying Maiz (as in RPC!Maiz's template) comes from my 2018 fanfiction but also predates it by SEVERAL YEARS because every female Saiyan I had from the age of 12 and up was essentially a prototype of who Maiz would become. Long story short, Maiz grew with me, even when her names before were: Rayearth (my og username on the chatroom/anime website), Beats, Serori, Celeri, and later Jinjā. Rayearth was able to go Super Saiyan and she was the angry-punchy type. She was closer to Vegeta in temperament and haughty as all hell. Beats was a bit more humble with a hint of cockiness. This was around the time I started playing around with morality and all that, so she was less of a Vegeta type but still rough around the edges. I think I implied she could go Super Saiyan but can't remember if it happened in any threads. Serori was much more humble and quiet-- introspective. However, she could be hostile if approached too quickly or suddenly. She was the first low-class Saiyan I ever made. Celeri was a jump off of that because someone had the same name as my OC so I changed her around*. She was extroverted, but not too much. I guess you could call her a quasi-Goku type, if Goku was Mid-Class and a woman. I changed the rank because I wanted to explore the classism aspect of the Saiyans and my OC's relationship between her and her inherent power. She was morally gray, if I remember correctly.

*A bit petty of me, I'm sure-- but I was immature and a moody teenager who only had her creativity to express herself with. Anything too similar to me back then felt like an attack on my personhood and individuality. Thankfully, I'm a mature adult who's grown past that trauma response from childhood.

Jinjā came in 2015. I was 16 going on 17, about to enter college. Stopped RPing some time before this, because well, I had to focus on school and life stuff. This is what she originally looked like:

She has no story, because she wasn't made with one in mind. I just missed having a female Saiyan to think/write about. She was truly random, a burst of inspiration that heavily looms over Maiz's current design. Jinjā has red, short, choppy hair because Seripa/Fasha was her base design. I wanted something different to make her stand out, or else she'd just look like a clone or twin. That's all. Fasha being the base is also where the earrings comes from, since she had them. (This was just before I started embracing cosmetics and accessories). While she didn't really have anything to her, the basic idea was to go back to my roots: a rough-and-tumble Saiyaness who can pack a mean punch and rock your shit even if it kills her-- even if she fails. Hence my attempt at blood and making her look badass/intimidating. Muscles and female anatomy was hard for me, still is slightly-- but I'm getting the hang of it. Anyhoo, I believe my intentions-- if I fleshed her out more-- would've been for her to be a Bardock-type. Fun fact: Battle of Gods came out a month before this redesign did, so I got some confused looks when asked if this was SSG (Red) and I said no. I wasn't a huge fan of the movie so I didn't really see it until later. Only clips and such on YouTube. I warmed up to it eventually.

While going back to college for the second time (2018-2019), I got into Super properly with the introduction of Broly in DB Super: Broly. I enjoyed the Future Trunks/Goku Black Saga but the narrative nightmare within the anime's climax (and the manga's middle part) was a tough pill for me to swallow. The movie though-- despite the minor grievances I have with it-- hit all the right spots: Saiyan lore! Saiyan culture! POLITICS!!! Space-Opera! Sci-fi!!!!!! Around this time, I was finally inspired to do something else for this fandom I've had a tumultuous relationship with-- write a fan fiction. Jinjā's redesign was imminent:

She got renamed in reference to her mom, who was now Seripa/Fasha's older sister as a nod to the latter being a design base. Karne comes the Japanese spelling of karnels (kaneru, if I have that correct) because she's frustratingly slow to anger like popcorn-- the pun she's based off of. (Fasha in other media, such as the games has always been described as the opposite: short tempered, fierce and feisty. She's staunchly loyal to her crew too, as implied in the movie and in those same games if you pay attention to her dialogue). With this, it only made sense to have the updated version of Jinjā follow the pun as:

To summarize: Maiz became Maiz in 2019, in the wake of DB Super: Broly. (It came out that year in the U.S). In the fanfic she originates from, she is the last female Saiyan, and that weighs on her all the time. Incidentally, Story!Maiz is much more sympathetic while remaining a frosty a--hole. Her trauma is much more apparent and while she's not exactly the nicest person in the Galaxy, it's much more clear to see why: she has attachment issues, which makes getting to know her difficult, she has trust issues, anger issues from surviving a bloody and rather violent/sudden genocide of her people at a young and tender age, she can't remember the last time she slept well, has frequent nightmares of being abandoned by her mother (she was the one who shoved her into an escape pod). She thinks there's no value to her life because she's been traveling through outer space with Turles for six years consecutively and there were several planets/galactic sectors who didn't even know what a Saiyan was. They were lucky to find remains. (Cut tails, boots, bones, dust/ashes, name tags, etc etc. The sights were very, very grisly. And she kept seeing the same things for six. Years. Straight). All of this turned her into a very bitter, negative person who became a straw nihilist. She kind of just wanted to pass away quietly in some corner somewhere, not because she felt remorse for being a Saiyan/the effects of her kin but because she had her entire life upended on a sadistic whim. There was nothing to live for in her eyes. She thought Turles was stupid for having hope after a while and became jaded. While she was stronger than Turles in terms of raw power, she had a issue with not wanting to preserve her ki for important situations. He constantly had to watch over her like a big brother and she absolutely resented him for it (misguided anger, anyone?). It didn't help that he remembered more of Saiyan life than she could. All in all, she was tragic and a bit too edgy probably, but she would grow out of her frosty shell with the introduction of Broly. She reluctantly bonded with him over time on their ship as Saiyan Squad (what I called them out of text) made their way to Earth to settle the score with Vegeta. Paragus didn't do anything for her but make her angry at first-- all this time she's convinced herself there were no more Saiyans and then she sees this old man still kicking somehow? Of course she'd be livid. (Paragus, over his short presence in her life until his death at Vegeta's hands proved to be effective; he became a makeshift father figure and imparted some words of wisdom of which she'd take to heart, post Broly fight. Turles was pretty devastated too and they would finally be the brother-sister duo he's always known they could have been. It's bittersweet and sad, tbh).

Anyway, that's the evolution process. As for why she looks like this in universe-- I'm gonna be honest and say I got it from Father of Goku. There were different looking Saiyans in there, two women have blue hair. Super Saiyan has green eyes and blonde hair. Who's to say there aren't natural green eyed Saiyans who existed? Or blondes? Dark hair can mean black and/or brown, so why not both? Same with dark eyes! Make them brown, hazel, chestnut, almost black or straight up black. Etc etc. (As a reminder, Fasha has purple eyes! PURPLE). If you look at official artworks/some colored manga covers and whatnot, Goku's actually tan. Hell, Future Trunks is basically apricot or a peachy skin tone. If you want a triple whammy??? Read the manga. No, seriously. There are OFFICIAL scans that has Trunks with red hair instead of the Super Saiyan blonde. And those are mistakes from Toriyama himself. Look at Z Broly and all his in between stages-- blue hair, greenish-yellow hair, etc. It's really not that hard to create a unique looking Saiyan, or justify it-- so I feel like the whole dark hair and dark eyes should be overlooked/not a big deal. I also just don't like how restrictive it is from a narrative/in universe standpoint. It's not fun to play with.

Anyway, thank you so much. I know this was long. 😭 My bad. I enjoy talking about Maiz very much and her concepts.

[justfantaseaa]

I just want to say I’m grateful for Good Omens and this lovely community. As a queer person, it’s been a safe place where I can put my insecurities behind and find comfort.

So first, Good Omens is the haven for my gay heart. Upon watching the series, I realised the story is actually made for me, as in I feel the queer representations catered for queer people, and the romance actually feels comfortable and safe and relatable. I know I shouldn’t care what other people think of me and I like to think I don’t, but it’s good to know what it feels to take normalcy and goodwill for granted. It had felt privileged. I wish I lived in a world where I won’t get annoyed by how a stranger would say about me. But I don’t live in that world. So I’m so grateful that I have a place where I can just live and be, where I can enjoy myself without being in a defence stance and ready to defend and argue, where I feel safe and loved and approved (not that I needed to be approved, I’d argue myself, but I can’t deny it feels good).

Second, Good Omens had helped me discover that I’m gender fluid and non-binary. I’ve always hated gender roles and stereotypes for as long as I can remember. I grew up perceived as a tomboy, I had boy’s haircut until I was 17. I didn’t know why then, but now I know it was because I never felt I was a girl that my society deemed proper (also it was my way to rebel against heterosexuality). When I was 17, I finally decided liking girls and not wanting to be undermined by stereotypes didn’t mean I have to look masculine or like a boy, so I started to grew my hair out and embrace myself as a woman. When my hair grew too long and I felt too feminine, I cut it to mid-lengths because it still felt wrong.

Then I watched Good Omens and I realised that gender is no more bonded by femininity and masculinity than it’s bonded by stereotypes (which is not at all of course). And that sometimes I identify with she/her but sometimes I don’t. That my identity doesn’t necessarily correlate to how I look. Inspired by Crowley, I tried out different looks, and I was enjoying myself. I found that I couldn’t commit to one look, that I loved a mix of both feminine and masculine traits , and the gender binary started to blur and became less and less important. I had so much fun expressing myself by picking outfits every day. It was thrilling and liberating.

Before, I didn’t really understand the significance of non-binary concept, until I stumbled upon someone referring to Muriel as ‘she’. It had felt so wrong to me (not to judge), and I suddenly realised that’s how I feel sometimes when people perceive me as ‘she’. Being gender fluid and non-binary had never occurred to me, but when I embraced it, I had felt truly free.

My point is, I have struggled with my gender identity and was really confused for a long time, I couldn’t help but wonder how much easier this would be if we had more genderqueer representations. This is why we need more queer representations. It’s important to feel understood by and connected to other people, and Good Omens had brought so many queer people together.

I’m so glad I stumbled upon Good Omens, which is so relatable and illuminating regarding my own identity, that it’s become more than just a fandom but a rather personal experience that marked an important period of time in my life. And again, I’m grateful for that.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

126 of 2023

Created by urprettywhenimdrunk

you're female you're a tomboy but the opposite gender still finds you sexylicious you're over 18 you're not currently in high school or college you have brown or hazel eyes you have dark hair you are under 5'2" you have a dysfunctional family you know someone in jail or prison you've questioned your sexual preference you've had an eating disorder you've been hospitalized more than once you are still trying to find yourself you know what you want to do in life, but don't know how to make it happen you live in the country but you love the city you love flying you love trains you are musically or artistically inclined you write poetry, prose, blogs, or something of that sort you wish you lived somewhere else than you currently do you have been in a long distance relationship you are keeping something from someone, but should tell them eventually (if so, just out of curiosity, what is it?) you believe in yourself but you've been known to sabotage things in your life you want to have a kid/kids one day you try to/want to do your part to help humankind you write more than you read you get turned off by things when they become too trendy/overrated you love underground, real music you have irish and/or native american descent you love the ocean/beach you've never been to a wedding you've never ridden a horse you've been addicted to something before (or still are) you wonder why you make or take surveys you love asian food you love middle eastern food you're american, but don't eat that much american food you love the feeling of falling asleep you're usually cranky when you first wake up you've had someone tell you you're gorgeous before but you're not sure if you believe them your sleeping patterns are all outta whack you're from the south US you've been to the west coast US you've been to canada the place you most want to visit is one of the poorer areas of the world you don't understand how people can make those 1000+ question surveys (i can barely make it to 50, hah) but you still prefer long surveys to medium/short ones you feel too vulnerable having a facebook/myspace/whatever you've had a stalker one of your ex's is one of your best friends you've met more than 5 people from the internet in real life & most of them you never talked to again after meeting them that one time you've been judged based on a person's first impression of you usually peoples' first impressions of you are wrong people underestimate you way too often you eat at weird times during the day/night you have 2 or more tattoos you've had a piercing that you let heal over you love the way it smells after a storm & you love when storms are approaching you hate too much snow you take vitamins every day you get mysterious bruises that you have no idea where they came from you're uncomfortable in crowded places you've had more than one panic attack or nervous breakdown you're on some type of medication, but don't want to be you've considered becoming vegetarian/vegan but there's just some meat you can't give up you've smoked cigarettes before or are currently a smoker you love sleeping while it's raining heavy you feel a little guilty when you kill bugs you've never broken a bone you've had a person in your family commit suicide you've had a person in your family that had a miscarriage you were/are a loner in school you have unsteady employment you've taken naughty pictures of yourself for someone else you believe in God or a higher power, but find it hard to keep your faith you've spent more of the last 5+ years in a relationship than being single sometimes you think it would be easier to be single you've stayed in a relationship before even when you wanted out you've felt that someone stayed with you even when they wanted out you love kittens you think baby sea turtles are cute as hell you think there's more going on in the world than what we're informed of

[mjvnivsbrvtvs]

the way this show I started watching for fun has made me unexpectedly soul crushingly sad :/

[inkabelledesigns]

I’m not one to talk about stuff that frustrates me in the doll world, but man, this is really frustrates me. So Monster High is getting a live action reboot, and everyone and their brother is telling me about it because they know I love Monster High. And you know what, I appreciate that they remembered it’s one of my interests and try to connect with me over it, that’s nice. But every conversation I’ve had has ended the same way, in everyone sharing disappointment that this new movie is missing the charm of the original. I show people what the live action looks like vs the series that inspired it, and not one has been excited for the new thing once they know where it comes from.

A lot of what I’m about to say can be summarized as “if it were a new generation instead of a reboot, I would like it,” but I’m gonna go more in depth under the cut here. 

The thing that kills me about this movie is that it feels like it’s another story wearing the Monster High name in order to have a chance at selling, and I’m bothered by that. Okay, so Clawdeen is the new ghoul at school this time, why? We had a solid what, seven years of that being Frankie’s role, what do we gain from Clawdeen being put in that role instead? Where did Draculaura’s love of witchcraft come from, why wasn’t that given to Cleo instead when she was always the one messing with talismans for comedic episodes in the original show? Why has Heath been turned into the hotheaded bully stereotype? What happened to Deuce’s story with being half normie and needing his shades to protect those around him? Why is the fantasy skin tone roughly preserved for most characters but not Lagoona? I have a ton of gripes about Lagoona, so much of her style has been changed. The tomboy aesthetic, down to earth nature, the Australian accent, she doesn’t seem like she’s even related to the original character, and that’s a shame. Because you know what kills me? I would LOVE this character if I didn’t know it was supposed to be Lagoona. She’s got a fun style that I vibe with a lot, I am so into having more aquatic monsters like we did with Sirena and Lorna, but she’s wearing a name that isn’t hers. That’s not Lagoona, that is a new character wearing her name because the creators don’t seem to have faith that they can make something new without the original’s branding and reputation. That’s what kills me, these characters aren’t the same, they’re clearly a new vision, and I wish they’d just gone all the way with changing it rather than going halfway. 

Like if you told me this was a new group of students, a new generation with new names and personalities, I would buy it, I would totally be on board. It’s like what MLP does, each series is a different generation, and sometimes they take place in the same world at different time periods, sometimes they share elements, but they don’t have to. That would have been an easier approach to accept. Instead, by doing a reboot and changing so much of the old, it feels like they’re spitting on the original, and that frustrates me. Like I could get behind some of the changes if they were equipped to different characters (see Cleo getting into witchcraft since it makes sense with how she was written formerly), but it feels like the people working on this franchise now have a total lack of understanding of why the original was charming. It feels like they don’t care. It feels like this is wearing the MH brand because they don’t have faith that it would sell without it, and that just makes me sad.

The big gripe I have is that this movie’s trailers seem to indicate that the main conflict is the monsters being afraid of a student with secret human heritage. And we know that Clawdeen is a werewolf, which is, you know, part human. So you can totally see where this is going. Clawdeen is gonna be in trouble, they’re gonna shoehorn in something with Draculaura doing her new witchy stuff to try and make Clawdeen not part human, it’s gonna fail dramatically, her cover is gonna be blown, people are gonna riot, and somehow it’ll be resolved within the timespan of the film. It’s incredibly predictable, and given how human some of these characters look, I’m a little annoyed by it. Like look, Cleo is a mummy, mummies were humans once. Frankie is literally stitched together from pieces of living things, and while I know the media of the original made it out to be synthetic instead of actual human flesh, my point still stands, that is still very human in nature. Ghoulia is a zombie, zombies were once living humans. Draculaura’s original story had her as a human that got turned by Dracula in order to save her life when her mother died, she was HUMAN. And let’s not forget Deuce, a monster who is only half gorgon, as his mother, Medusa, had him with a human father, something she won’t talk to him about because they’re estranged. And while we’re on the subject, what about Jackson and Holt? They are a huge deal when it comes to monster and humans, do they not exist in this world yet because of this story? 

It just, grr it’s so FRUSTRATING that they chose this as the plot. They could have chosen ANYTHING as the plot to this world, and they chose the least logical path possible. Nevermind the fact that they couldn’t be bothered to use the term normies for humans like all the other MH media did, no, how dare we be consistent. It just feels like there’s no respect for the original source material. If you’re gonna reboot something, you do your homework on it, figure out what made it successful and include elements of that while still creating your own thing. 

Today we had a doll leak that showed our main three ghouls, and I’ll be honest, I don’t dislike the dolls. I think all three of them have some okay points, but they aren’t Draculaura, Clawdeen, or Frankie. If you sold them to me as new characters, I would like them so much more, I’d even find them cute. The leak of Cleo remains my favorite of the bunch so far, she looks really good. The ears are really nice, the body shapes are okay, the face paint is even alright. It’ll take time to get used to the new faces, but they aren’t bad, they just aren’t Monster High as I’ve grown to love it. They could still be Monster High, I just wish they were new characters, like genuinely, that would solve so many problems. I can ignore a bad live action movie plot, I don’t have to watch it when it comes out (nor do I have to watch the leaked full version that’s roaming around), but I do have to deal with the fandom side of things, and that’s not a fun time. I struggle with change, especially when the change is unnecessary. There was no reason to reboot Monster High. Don’t change the thing I love, make your own thing that’s even better and unique to your team/the time it’s made in. This reboot feels like it’s a fanfiction role swap AU that got to be made into a canon product, and I don’t want that. I’m fine with fanfiction existing, that’s a great thing for a “what if,” but that’s where it belongs, as a thing to play with, not as canon. 

[jasmariswonderland]

Wish Upon a Star With my OCs Part 2 ~ Stasending with Sidonie

Hello everyone! 

I finally finished up playing through the Wish Upon A Star event today! And while no one asked, here are some of the things my ocs wish for, along with who is collecting stars for them. I have starsensding cards planned for Sidonie and Ione at some point along with a fic for Ione but for now, here are just the wishes!

In part 1, I wrote about Ione collecting the wishes of Danica, Vidaria, Heloise, Farron and Maximilian. In this part, I’ll share Sidonie’s experience collecting Crisanta, Sinclair, Taima, and Iman’s wishes!

~~~

✨🌼Crisanta’s Wish🌼✨

Crisanta’s wish is very simple: to become a powerful mage and use her magic to help her friends and family. Sidonie thinks this is a very noble thing to wish for but when she asks what Crisanta’s family thinks of her becoming a mage, her mood darkens. She explains that another reason she wants to be a powerful mage is to challenge her stepmother, a famed sorceress for whom her father abandoned her, her mother and her younger sister. Her mother has always resented magic users since then but Crisanta wants to show her that not all magic users are pretentious and cruel. Sidonie goes on to say that honestly, most magic users aren’t that way anyway and the point of magic should be as much bettering the world around them as it is personal interest. Crisanta responds that she admires how Sidonie uses her magic ability to make beautiful roses but Sidonie says she also uses her magic to see into other peoples souls. When Crisanta asks if Sidonie can see if she has a good soul, Sidonie smiles and replies that she does and she’s honest too, and surely her mother can see that as well. 

✨🐛Sinclair’s Wish🐛✨

At first, Sinclair is reluctant to make a wish because he’s a lot like Vil where he sees the whole practice as ridiculous and a waste of time. He says that in the past he’s had a lot of wishes but none of them have come true, so he doesn’t see the point of making any more. This leaves Sidonie at a loss because she needs to retrieve wishes as part of her job and she tries to convince Sinclair to change his mind. She says he can wish for anything and it doesn’t have to be important or grand. Finally, Sinclair decides to wish to improve his potionoligy and skill with ancient magic. Secretly, he wishes for this because he knows these are two classes that Riddle struggles in and feels if he can get a stronger grasp on them, it might be easier to finally oust him. And even more secretly, Sinclair also wishes that he and Trey can go back to being friends the way they were before Riddle came to NRC. But he knows such is unlikely and he doesn’t want isolate Sidonie by telling her this. 

✨💐Taima’s Wish💐✨

Taima also has a simple wish: to develop as much strength as she can, and to be happy. This is one of the few times Sidonie finds herself alone with Taima without Danica around and since she’s always been curious about her, she asks if Taima could explain her wish to her. Taima tells her about how she feels insecure sometimes because she’s more of a tomboy and sometimes she gets unwanted comments about how she should be more girly. Where she’s from, women who are badass and strong are held in high regard but Taima has found that the sentiment isn’t fully universal outside Sunset Savanna. She also worries because she’s noticed that guys tend to be drawn to girls like Sidonie and Danica and while she doesn’t envy them she sometimes wishes guys would look at her the same way. Sidonie responds that there is no one way to be a girl and she should be proud of her strength and also says that if a guy can’t accept Taima for who she is, he isn’t worthy of her. And surely, her parents are proud of her too. Taima confirms this and talks about how much she looks up to her mother and wants to be like her, happy and strong, hence her wish. 

✨👑Iman’s Wish👑✨

Iman wishes to find true love and to marry someone who is clever, gifted and respected by her family. Sidonie thinks this a very typical wish but Iman says she has everything she could ever want and if she did want something, no matter what is is, her family could easily get it for her. But her wish is the one thing that is not a certainty, as fate is not always in her control. Sidonie asks if she wishes to marry a prince but Iman says not exactly. Because she is a princess of one of the cadet branches and not directly in line for the throne of Scalding Sands, there is not as much pressure on her to marry royalty compared to others closer to the throne. She does want to marry someone wealthy and from a similar background as her but even that is not as important to her as intelligence, something that surprises Sidonie who always saw Iman as rather shallow and materialistic. Iman does mention that her family has recently been dropping hints that she should turn her head towards Kalim but while she likes him, she doesn't love him and feels he should also marry for love. Sidonie asks if there is a guy Iman has in mind but she smirks and says that is a secret. 

✨🥀What’s Sidonie’s Wish?🥀✨

Sidonie’ wish is also to become a powerful mage and to perfect her skills with potions and roses. Her greatest hope is to develop magic as strong as her supposed ancestress, who used an enchanted rose to curse a cruel prince and turn him into a beast. She also wishes to perfect her poison crafting, hoping to become competent enough by the end of the school year and maybe, finally, challenge Vil for the position as dorm leader that she secretly covets. 

[morporkian-cryptid]

Turns out I really like the idea of Lupin and Jigen having met when they were kids. Thank you Anon for putting that idea into my head!

Jigen is trans in this story, and at this point, he still identifies as a girl, but for clarity’s sake I’m using he/him pronouns.

Yes, Gun Hill Houses is an actual neighborhood in the Bronx.

Reblogs are much appreciated!

---

The sun was setting on the Bronx and on the last day Jigen could spend with his best friend. Lupin didn’t live here, and only God knew when his father’s travels would bring him to New York again. They always made the most of the time they had together, exploring the city, robbing liquor stores, pick-pocketing tourists and getting into fights with the local gangs. These were the best parts of Jigen’s otherwise sorry existence, and they were always over too soon.

For their last few hours together, Jigen had taken his friend to a rooftop in Gun Hill, where there was a nice view on the square below and an even better one on the sunset. To anyone who didn’t know better, this might have almost looked like a date. Jigen didn’t want Lupin to know he thought that.

It was a mystery to Jigen how this strange little foreigner, with his tailored but battered suits and his mischievous grin, with his mysteriously wealthy family and his unfortunately sized ego, had managed to gain his trust so quickly. The two of them were polar opposites, but there was something in Lupin that had drawn Jigen in. Somehow, he felt like this strange boy from beyond the oceans was the only person who could truly understand him.

That didn’t make those words any easier to say, but he had to say them to someone. And the only person who could hear them was Lupin.

“Sometimes… I really wish I was a boy.”

Jigen was kicking his feet over the edge of the rooftop, trying very hard not to look at his friend. The young thief’s attention was turned to him, with an intensity that made him want to squirm. Looking away at least dulled it a bit.

“I mean, of course life would be easier,” Jigen justified himself. “But also… I don’t know. I just… don’t think I’m ever going to be happy as a girl. I wish I could just snap my fingers and change it.”

He was still looking away from his friend. Lupin may be the only person he could open up to, that didn’t mean he didn’t fear his judgement. At least the thief could understand that. Being a girl in the streets of the Bronx wasn’t fun.

“What’s your name?”

Jigen almost fell off the roof in surprise when his friend’s voice rose, candid and enthusiastic. Lupin was looking at him, with a smile on his face – not that lopsided grin that announced trouble to everyone around, but a soft, genuine smile that he reserved for those rare moments when he really meant what he said.

“It’s Suki,” Jigen retorted, “you know that.”

“That’s a girl’s name,” Lupin replied as if that wasn’t obvious. “If you were a boy, what would be your name?”

Jigen stared at the young thief in utter bafflement. He was serious, he realised. Perfectly honest in his enquiry, as if this was a normal thing to ask. A normal reaction to the confession Jigen had just given him.

That was probably why he liked Lupin so much.

“I don’t know…” he muttered after a few seconds of reflection. “Daisuke sounds nice.”

“Japanese,” Lupin nodded. “Like your grandparents. A good name.”

He extended a hand to his bewildered friend.

“Nice to meet you, Daisuke. I’m Arsène.”

Jigen had no other choice but to gingerly take the thief’s hand and shake it, acting on autopilot as his mind tried to make sense of what was happening. Lupin wasn’t berating him, he was even… accepting him? Playing along? That name in Lupin’s voice felt so right, like a puzzle piece fitting itself into the hole in his heart he had been ignoring all these years.

“I’m glad to be friends with a boy as incredible as you.”

And the idea of that feeling right, felt painfully wrong.

Jigen shoved his misplaced euphoria back down his throat and abruptly stood up. Lupin followed suit, but he stayed standing there as his friend took a few steps back.

“You’re crazy,” he spat out. “I’m not a boy, Arsène.”

“You can be. If you want to.”

“That’s not how this works!”

“But what if it is?” the thief insisted. “You could just dress like one, act like one, and people will believe you.”

Jigen angrily gestured at his dirty and patched up skirt.

“I’m not gonna fool anyone. Least of all myself.”

“You might. I mean, look at me. You’d never guess I’m supposed to be a girl.”

Jigen stopped dead in his pacing to turn towards him. Lupin was staring at him with defiance in his eyes, as if daring his friend to prove him wrong.

“You what?”

The thief’s expression softened somewhat, and he sat back down on the roof. He didn’t let go of Jigen’s gaze.

“My real name’s Amélie. But I didn’t like it, and I didn’t like being a girl, so I just…” he snapped his fingers, “changed it.”

“Your father let you do that?”

Lupin shrugged.

“As long as I carry the family legacy, my dad doesn’t care if he has a son or a daughter. So I decided to be his son.” A sharp glint shone in his eye, and his grin was back. “I took Grand-Père’s name. I want to be like him when I grow up. I’m gonna be the best damn thief my family has ever seen, and no one’s going to stop me.” He smiled. “And no one can stop you either.”

Jigen stayed silent for a long time. Lupin didn’t push him, simply looked at him with that soft expression that made Jigen’s heart curl up in shame inside his chest. He didn’t deserve this compassion. But he craved it, and Lupin was too good at tempting him. And Jigen decided he was too weak to resist.

He sat down next to his friend, head bowed down.

“They can, though,” he finally replied. “I already get beat up for being a tomboy. Your dad seems like a cool guy, but mine would kill me if he found out.”

Lupin leaned towards him and put his hand on Jigen’s, sending his heart racing.

“Then it will be our secret. You can be yourself when you’re with me, Daisuke.”

Jigen tried to hide his smile behind a disgusted rictus, but it probably didn’t fool his friend.

“Only call me that when we’re alone, understood?”

The thief grinned.

“When we’re alone, and with people who don’t know you.”

“With people who don’t know me, only when I do look like a boy.”

“Deal!”

Lupin punched his friend’s shoulder, and Jigen punched him in the stomach in retaliation.

“You have a terrible influence on me, you know that?”

“Says the guy who’s training to be a mobster.”

“Shut up.”

That was why he liked Lupin so much, Jigen thought as they sat there and watched the sunset. With him, he didn’t have to hide.

[jackoshadows]

The ASoIaF fandom can be so frustrating sometimes.

It’s okay to admit that one doesn’t like this or that character. There’s nothing wrong in disliking a character.

I am pretty open on my blog about my indifference towards or dislike for Sansa because of her stans. I don’t make disclaimers about how much I love the character before proceeding to criticize Sansa. I am not a Sansa stan and that’s okay. My blog is a place for me to jot down my thoughts and celebrate characters, books and shows I do like. If you love Sansa as a character, block me, don’t follow me etc.

What’s obnoxiously annoying are the folks who claim to love all the characters the same and then give their ‘unbiased’ opinions which are held up as canon facts because they came from neutral book reader experts. To hell with that nonsense.

These posts reek of hypocrisy and double standards. It often tears down some characters while subtly propping up others - and it’s gobbled up by the wider fandom as unbiased interpretation of the text.

One example is pushing forth the notion that calling Arya pretty (Something that both her father and brother tell her she is in the books) is wrong, it’s sexualizing her, it’s okay for Arya to be ugly, she’s canonically not pretty because Cat/Sansa said so and no other interpretation is allowed etc. And then the same person who says all this celebrates Sansa’s beauty and ships her with a 27 year old man who falls in lust with Sansa.

Or when they say that the Arya-Lyanna (and Sansa/Lyanna parallels, because it’s always important to mention Sansa with respect to Lyanna even if said person claims to not care about Lyanna as a character) parallels are overrated and not important and they don’t care about Robert’s Rebellion characters but on their blogs there’s all these posts, fanarts and meta about Elia Martell - a Robert’s Rebellion character.

A so called book expert would note that GRRM has several characters outright compare Arya to Lyanna or mistake Lyanna for Arya in the books while Sansa has no such comparison. But no, the unbiased book expert thinks that the Arya-Lyanna and Sansa-Lyanna parallels are equivalent and are both overrated.That post just annoyed me excessively into writing this long ass rant post.

Why are these neutral, unbiased folks so interested in stripping away from Arya’s story?

In the books Jeyne Poole is masquerading as Arya Stark - but that story is only Jeyne’s, has nothing to do with Arya or Arya’s importance to the North. 

Arya is a strong warg, Nymeria and her wolf pack are a ‘Chekov’s wolf pack’ that GRRM has hung on the wall  -  Our expert opinion is that Direwolves are not all that important in the grand scheme of things.

Arya is pretty - why needlessly call Arya pretty, it adds nothing to Arya’s story and is all about sexualizing a child.

Arya-Lyanna parallels - why do we need these parallels, Arya is distinct and interesting without them.

These aspects are all important parts of the character’s story. There are so many very well written essays exploring these concepts with respect to Arya’s journey of self discovery in the books, the narrative significance of her parallels to Lyanna, her bond with Nymeria and her warging talents. For those who are interested, here are two bloggers who actually like Arya and have written about her character and character arc.

https://donewithwoodenteeth.tumblr.com/meta-masterlist

https://ashotofjac.tumblr.com/tagged/arya-stark

Some of these same people will rush to condemn any reading of the books that does not have Sansa wielding power at the end as being ‘Sansa hate’. But they will have no issues to undermine and devalue Arya’s actual book story, the relationships she has, the parallels she has, the skillsets she has, her appearance, her importance to the current story happening in the North.

There is a whole ass plot currently in the books of Northerners rallying for Arya Stark and preparing for battle against the Boltons for Arya Stark. But that’s not important because it’s actually Jeyne Poole and Arya’s story is about sailing off west of westeros.  But hey, Sansa will definitely go North and hold power and that’s like 100% happening because we are the unbiased book experts and we say it is so.

Or when all else fails - Arya is a Mary Sue, she’s a fantasy character, she’s a ‘strong female character’ because she fights with a sword, people like her because she’s a tomboy who fights. Sansa is realistic, Sansa is complex - but here are all the essays that basically transfer Arya’s complexity and story to Sansa - because it fits more with their fave, because these aspects would fit better with the traditionally feminine character even though they never tire of talking about how GRRM is deconstructing tropes. Because the trope deconstruction is only applied to Arya, Jon and Dany. Never Sansa.

And honestly, why are these people reading a high fantasy series if they hate fantasy and fantasy characters so much? We love Sansa because she’s so non-magical! Then go read non-fiction books. They also twist Jon, Arya and Dany into ‘fantasy’ characters - despite these characters going through some very real and human experiences. What’s fantasy about Arya’s experiences in war torn Westeros, Jon dealing with bigotry at the wall, Dany trying to rebuild Meereen, while dealing with famine, disease and insurgency?

Or how Jon and Dany getting any kind of happy ending or becoming rulers would be so boring, sweet, predictable, conforming to tropes, a happy ending etc. But Sansa getting love, romance, going home, becoming the Stark in Winterfell, getting her fairy tale ending - that’s totally what GRRM is going to do! No trope deconstruction there!  In may ways, Benioff and Weiss’ ending is not all that surprising -  Mad Queen Dany, Jon remaining a bastard with the freefolk, Sansa having power as a leader - are all popular theories among bnfs in the fandom. D&D wanting to wind up the show quickly with easily found fan theories is not that much of a stretch.

ASoIaF reddit is equally frustrating. Instead of Sansa stan bnfs on tumblr who pretend to like Arya and Dany while subtly undermining their story and importance, on Asoiaf reddit it’s Stannis stans who dislike Jon and Dany because these characters present a challenge to Stannis. The mere suggestion that Jon may play a role in the battle against Ramsay sends them into frothing at the mouth rage. They hate Jon, Jon is a Gary Sue because he dared advice Stannis - the greatest general ever - on Northern military strategy. Never mind that Jon grew up in the North and learned from Ned, how dare Jon Snow know more than Stannis! Unacceptable!

And I love Stannis Baratheon. I want Stannis to crush and defeat the Boltons. But unlike reddit dudebros, I can see that he is a secondary character, a tragic character who is most probably going to perish and Jon takes over because Jon Snow is a central protagonist in the story.

I feel it’s the same with Sansa. IMO, GRRM clearly doesn’t see Sansa in the same way as he does Arya, Jon, Dany, Tyrion and Bran. Whenever he is asked questions about the books, book plots, long term arcs, endings, age gaps etc it’s these characters he often brings up and references. It’s these characters who are important to him.

And that’s why there’s a lot of undermining and undervaluing of these character’s and their stories, them being described as fantasy characters, tropes, Mary Sues and Gary Sues, ableist rhetoric about Tyrion and Bran to undermine them.

I am damned certain that if it was Sansa who had all the parallels to Lyanna, or if she was the warg, or Jeyne Poole was impersonating her, this would all be ‘VERY IMPORTANT’ and on all the gifsets and essays. But she isn’t. So fandom bnfs are reduced to talking about how these aspects are not all that important anyway.

It’s like how this quote - ‘You may be as different as the sun and the moon, but the same blood flows through both your hearts’ turns up on gifsets every other day on the Arya tag but this quote - ‘Sansa could never understand how two sisters, born only two years apart, could be so different. It would have been easier of Arya had been a bastard, like her half brother Jon. And Jon’s mother had been common, or so people whispered’ very rarely does and will not get reblogged when it does.

Or when Sansa sees Joffrey trying to kill Arya and sides with Joffrey or when Sansa throws Arya under the bus and tells the Lannisters that it’s Arya who is the traitor - just sisters being sisters y’all!

It’s all about maintaining a certain narrative about Sansa - and when others point out her actual relationship with Arya in the books, we are accused of hating and wanting Sansa dead and how we should be criticizing Tywin and the Mountain instead. This is nonsensical whataboutism and ignores that people talk about  these aspects of the books because sometimes bullying, getting mocked for one’s appearance, abuse and neglect from parental figures etc. can resonate with certain readers unlike getting one’s head smashed in by Frankenstein.

At the end of the day, I wish these people would be honest about the characters they like and relate to. We are all biased. That’s why our opinions and interpretations are subjective. There’s nothing wrong in saying, hey, I like Sansa more than Arya or Dany, I relate to her character more.

I relate to Jon Snow a lot, I see things from his POV, I would disagree with the characters who disagree with Jon,  I enjoy his story at the Wall and the North. My interpretations of the text are therefore colored by my bias towards Jon. 

For others, it’s Dany or Sansa or Arya or Tyrion or Jaime. And that’s okay because these are fictional characters and liking one more than the other is not going to earn anyone woke points and lead to women’s rights.

And finally, there’s nothing edgy or cool about disparaging the central protagonists of a high fantasy series as being fantasy characters - go read other books if one is not into fantasy.

[detransexual]

Im struggling with femininity at this point in my detransition. I have so many thoughts about it, ill try to not go on forever but bear with me.

I know i dont have to be 100% gender non conforming, i know a long flowy dress in summer isnt exactly anti feminist, but it certainly isnt rejecting the ideals that are already in place either. I dont like wearing makeup, it fucks with my perception of myself, but being able to cover up the ever present shadow of facial hair is really relieving. I dont like wearing bras, but a very slightly cupped/padded sportsbra makes a (surprisingly) big difference in making me look like a flatchested woman rather than a dude. I dont like the concept of plastic surgery or surgery in general, but i would love to look more normal even without prosthetics or just a bra, i would to look a little closer to what i should have been like. I miss them the most in the context of sex, and it makes me sad that i always bound and hid them from my girlfriends rather than allow my whole body to be loved and seen as acceptable. Even though im happier about my chest now than i was pre surgery, i wish it had just been a reduction, scars (even of the size i have now) wouldnt be nearly as painful a reminder than the (almost, there's still like, a little more breast tissue than a bio male with my body weight/muscle/fat ratio would have? ) complete lack of tissue.

There are things im happy about, and i was actually a bit sad to notice my body hair has gotten lighter and that my clitoris is not as sensitive or quite as "full"/big as it was on T, because im still really happy about those changes, they've both made me feel MORE comfortable as a woman and in my body.

I dont think id dislike my voice as much if people, particularly (or perhaps exclusively?) other women, still recognised me as a woman with it. Its not a bad voice, its just not really mine, and its not a voice i can freely use without thought or consequence. my voice was already quite deep, especially if i wanted it to be, so it would have been better as it was.

There's still a lot that i dont know where i stand, and since ive always been unsure of who i am and shit, and since ive been so certain in things i was wrong about, its hard to commit, its scary. Both permanent changes and coming out again are very distant, both because i need time and because it takes time to get help again.

But all of this is making me struggle with femininity, it makes it easier to pass, and in turn not be reminded of the whole ordeal, although it also makes me more focused on it, which is probably gonna turn out just as harmful as when i was focusing on the opposite in my original transition.

I dont want to buy into exploitative and objectifying behavioirs, but i feel very very isolated and alienated from other women, something ive felt since i was very, very small, but this is different.

Feeling alienated as a kid was rough, and i desperately clung to what was expected of me, trying to fit in, trying to make myself "right", and ofcourse it was painful, but it was more internal than external.

During my trans-identified years, the alienation became explainable, and being alienated from other girls and women felt like a given, ofcourse thats how it was supposed to be since i was a boy! And i didnt feel trult alienated from boys until i was in my late teens and early 20s living stealth, and suddenly i had to pretend to be someone else in order to fit in. there was a huge difference between being the tomboy friend and actually being "one of the boys". You hear and see very different things when they dont think there's any girls or women around.

But after realising i neither could nor wanted to fit in with men, i gradually realised i was no longer just feeling alienated from other women, but i actually was. Its hard to connect with other women, make friends or exist in female spaces when you're no longer seen as a woman if you open your mouth, and i know thats nothing that overt femininity would change, but i honestly dont know how else to "compensate".

Meeting other detrans women has been wonderful, and i definitely wish i knew more gnc and butch women, but i just cant seem to find any in real life, ive yet to find any real women's spaces that arent "for women and anyone who doesnt identify as a cis-man :)".

I dont want to have to be feminine to be seen as a woman, i dont want to reinforce to myself or others that womanhood=femininity, i dont want to reinforce or portray detransition as meaning becoming genderconforming or like "accepting" and falling into stereotypes or "becoming a REAL woman" through femininity and gender roles. I dont want that, but i dont know how to balance what i want for myself with what would make my own existence less painful and what i think is "right".

I want to be able to be a visbly gender non conforming WOMAN rather than being seen as a gender conforming man, but being a gender conforming woman often makes ne appear and sometimes feel more like a gender non conforming man anyway. I dont know how to balance it all, and im torn between wanting to be a boghag and wanting to perform excessive femininity.

[popculturebuffet]

Amphibia: Ivy on The Run and After the Rain Reviews

Hello all you happy people! We’re into week two and after far too long we finally get some answers.. well okay not the ones we thought we were getting but hey you take what you get sometimes. Point is it’s a big week, with a fun ivycentric episode that fleshes her and Felcia out and a far more serious episode that finally explains a few things, not saying what things because spoilers. So join me under the cut for some smiles, some tears, and a bit of Muay Thai and Myagi-Do as I break things down. 

Ivy on the Run:

I was pleased as punch to find out Ivy was getting an episode. While I couldn’t say she was a faviorite of mine, I always found Katie Crowns performance exceptional, and her a delight to watch. The character wasn’t bad.. but EVERY episode up to this one involving her was about her and Sprig’s relationship which while really fucking precious left little room to flesh her out beyond a love of ambushes and being into the same kid stuff Sprig was into. 

This episode not only corrects that but also takes another suprising leap for the series in having Ivy clearly be the main character of the episode. While this isn’t the first episode to spotlight a citzen of wartwood.. it’s the first where the Plantars are side characters in the plot instead of just as important as whoever got focus or usually more important. Here Ivy is the lead of the episode: We open on her waking up for the day (Or rather having been awake for hours to trick her alarm clock), get a sense of her personality.. and of the episodes conflict: Ivy’s desire to be free and explore versus her mothe’rs constnat anal renttientve insistence she do tea related stuff like fold swans properly. IT’s a decent enough conflict that gets elevated by hte twist at the end. 

So she runs out after that to meet up with Sprig, and ambush him because that’s how thier relationship works. And what I really like here is while their relationships still present in the episode it’s thankfully not the focus or even realy lreated. Their clearly together, it’s just not the focus of the episode> Just some nice ranch dressing atop this salad. While they go to hunt for glitter beetles, Anne is teaching Polly, Muay Thai. The martial art of champions.. specifically one eyed ones who like to put tiger in front of their moves. As for why she took it up her mom wanted somewhere to put her energy, as seen in a flashback with a young Anne adorably banging on pans while singing her own version of Wannabe by the Spice Girls. It’s fucking precious. 

So the couple happily go beetle hunting i’ts precious.. but Ivy’s patience with her mother starts to run out as her mother loudly interupts her hunt to return her for tea practice: stirring it, setting tables, folding swans that sorta thing. All things she clearly dosen’t WANT to do or like and gives the impression Felcia is trying to force her daughter to become more like her and less like herself which... no. Just no. 

Ivy eventually hits her limit with this bullshit, tells her mother off and then stomps off to her room whiel her Mom fails ot understand that MAYBE being hypercirtical of your daughter, even if it turns out you have a good reason, might backfire. Ivy is encouraged by her posters, great scene by the way, to run away and leave town, and take Sprig with her.. whose relcutant as he talked himself up as being really well liked and savy out there but was just okay in practice. 

Meanwhile Polly and Anne continue training but Polly can’t get it as she just can’t calm down and focus, and Anne easily blocks her. In constrast Wally shows up, having apparently been watching them. 

And picks it up instantly. I can see why; Wally seems a bit scatterbrained due to his weird and wonderful nature.. but we’ve seen him be entirely capable when the chips are down, and to be a talented musician. So while he’d SEEM like he’d lack focus, it’s probably way easier to him than the impatient tadpole who just wants to kick ass without getting it takes a few steps. 

Meanwhile Sprig tries to talk his girlfriend out of running away together at 10 only for Sylvia to tail them with those bee phone things she used earlier.. and also be there, as once they clear those out she’s waiting and both end up at the Muay Thai class. Things finally hit their breaking point and Ivy wishes she never had family... and I think this is what finally gets it in Felicia’s head she messed up. She meant well.. but sh’es clearly been so hard on her child that, even if she instnatnly regrets it, she’s willing to disown her own mother if it means getting away from her. 

So Felica gives her a way out: Martial Arts Match. Because nothing says parental love like fighting your daughter for her freedom. Though in her defense things are pretty fair: three matches, and Ivy just needs to win ONE by getting a point on her, like in a martial arts competition. I only know that’s what they were going for because I binged Cobra Kai last month along with the first two Karate Kids. 

And that refrence isn’t for nothing as Felcia easily dominates the first two matches using Miyagi-Do esque moves i.e. pure defense, and with a Miyagi style lesson inside as for the final one.. she has Ivy repeat the various tea things she’d had her do, and just like that amazing fucking scene from Karate Kid, Ivy can now fight and realizes her mother was training her the whole time, as her mom simply wanted her to be readly and as for why Felcia herself is a karate master, she picked it up while gathering tea as naturally it’s incredibly dangerous in amphibia.  

So Felcia let’s her daughte win and expalins she just wanted her to be safe.. which is nice but while her devistaiton earlier clearly shows it, it still dosen’t QUITE justify how hard she was or not telling her why when her daughter is a clear tomboy. I do get the Miyagi-Do training style: it builds muscle memory and means you can defend without thinking, fight without having to plan every punch and kick. It’s brilliant.. but you have to match the training to the student. Daniel hated his traning too.. but Miyagi clearly KNEW he would, knew he’d give out and set it all up that way. Felcia.. nearly pushed her daughter into running away and never apologized. It’s not all terrible as there is the implciation this whole match was Felcia realizing she had to make it clera what she was doing, but it’s still fairly torubling the episode never adresses her behavior outright., even if they make up and Felciia plans to take her along next time. Also Polly punches wally in the face... eh he’l lbe fine. 

Final Thoughts on Ivy on the Run: This one was decent. As said the final part feels a bit... ehhh..as it feels they don’t adress Felicia’s controlling attitude enough.. but it dosen’t detract from a pretty fun episode, especially the Muay Thai stuff. That was an unexpected treat. And let’s face it after recently getting in deep with the franchise thanks to cobra kai, I can’t hate anything that reminds me of  the Karate Kid. In a good way at least. 

After The Rain:

Well this was both a long time coming and as painful as I expected. And after over a year and a half, we FINALLY get some answers.. not ALL the answers but some. Look you know what this episode is about, I know what this episode is about, let’s get cracking in round 2. 

So Anne’s got a letter, anne’s got a letter I wonder who it’s from. Marcy.. it’s from Marcy. Turns out she’s ready to go to the first temple, and even sent them a check list: weapons, food (check and check) and armor. Hop Pop already thought of that.. but instead of badass and practical armor.. it’s padded sumo suits that they can’t move in because “less mobility means less trouble”. Or you’ll get eaten by a hawk.. which given this show is probably also on fire and can shoot acid out of its’ eyes. Or lasers. Or acid lasers. The point is their gonna die. THey also naturally need the music box... which Hop Pop about craps himself hearing. Gee it’s almost like not getting the box sooner when you knew damn well abotu the temple thing and that they’d need it kinda bit you on the froggy bottom Hopidiah. 

It gets worse for him as while he mentions his ‘contacts” again.. that night he goes to dig it up. Problem is, Anne follows him when she hears footsteps, and while she initially assumes i’ts just him being a weirdo and plans to suprise him... we instead get the gut punch we’ve been anticpating for the last year and a half.  Hop Pop shouts about the box being gone, clearly panicked... and Anne hears him, utterly devistated and rightfully FURIOUS. He confesses the truth, clearly feeling guilty for what he’s done and lying all this time but Anne dosen’t want to hear it and storms off. 

Yeah as you can tell this is a rough one. So next morning Hop Pop, who clearly hasn’t slept and given his surrogate grandaughter just rightfully walked out on him why would he, confesses to the kids what he did. And while neither like what he did .. they prioritize getting Anne back, sending him to go fix his mess while they find the box. 

The box turns out to not be the only thing missing: various other things around town have been stolen, including a talisman that if Maddie dosen’t get it back will have horrifying consequences. Classic Maddie. As for why Swampy Joe has the answer: the magpie beetle, a beetle that emerges once every 20 years to steal stuff to use as a shell to impress mates. They find the box.. but it’s in a seatle of beatles and soon get swamped.  Meanwhile Anne’s returned to the cave and... okay i’m just going to have to power through or this episodes going to kill me with sadness. After some bits about her and her rock rocky, Hop Pop finds her and she still has nothing to say to him, again for good reaosn, but before he can get to telling her WHY he did it, they hear the others crying for help and Anne tries to rescue them herself, only helping hop pop do so when he points out they NEED to and even if she rightfully dosen’t trust him she needs to for now. THey save the kids.. and Anne STILL wants to leave.

We then get an even bigger gut punch. It turns out Hop Pop didn’t hide the box for some big reveal.. regarding the box. Turns out it’s not the box itself, his book just says it’s dangerous and w’ell likely find out any specifics it had next week. It’s Hop Pop’s lingering trauma. While we don’t find out why the Box is dangerous.. we do find out what hapepned to their parents. And I just want to say before we get into that Bill Farmer’s acting this WHOLE episode is some of hte finest, if not THE finest in his career. HIs guilt, his pain.. it’s all so raw and palpable. Brenda Song’s no slouch either, Anne’s pain and anger is likewise very well done, but Bill is far and away the mvp of the episode.. and this scene is why. 

He reveals he’s been so cautious, so scared for the kids and so overly protective in general.. because of how the kids parents died, something they don’t blame him for but he does: He was out of town on buisness.. when a pair of herons attacked. Sprig and Polly got to the family bunker in time.. their parents... weren’t so lucky. It’s not the big bombastic arc related death we all thought was coming.. but I like it for it’s brutal nightmarish simplicity. They didn’t die some heroic death, they aren’t still here.. they just died like SO MANY background frogs have. Two wild giant animals they coudln’t possibly defend against got em. Nothing could’ve been done no matter what Hop Pop thinks, theirs no way they coudl’ve been saved, and i’ts LUCKY their children didn’t share the same fate. But their gone and it gives a new, awful meaning to Hop Pop’s overproectivness. Before it was mildly justified if a bit strict.. now.. i’ts him trying not to loose what he has left. Trying to hold on tight to his grandkids so he dosen’t loose anyone else.

He hid the box because his trauma and guilt were so severe he did something very stupid, and regretted it ever since and begs anne to forgive him in THE best line read of Bill Farmer’s long and storied career. And she does, hugging her Hop Pop gently, realizing that while he fucked up.. she gets WHY he did.. and that he’s sorry for it. He wasn’t tyring to keep her from going home or any messed up shit.. he just was trying to keep her and his other kids alive. And as Sprig and Polly say it’s not his fault, it never could’ve been.. he can’t help but feel that way. You just feel.. powerless when you loose someone, like you could’ve done something even though 9/10 you couldn’t have and it leaves a hole you never quite fill. So this hit like a truck. But our family is reconclied and the kids get a look at the entry in  Hop Pop’s ancestral book. What does it say besides it bad? what does this mean? We’ll find out next week. For now it’s just good to have them all together again. 

Final Thoughts on After the Rain: This episode is a masterpiece. It’s exepertly crafted, sticks in a few gags for flavor and only has the sprig and polly plot to help keep the main meat of the plot as light as it needs to be.. and it works. The few scenes we get with Anne and Hop Pop are just plain brutal and exactly what’s needed. It’s one of the series best, painful, raw and with a twist I dind’t see coming. I expected, again like most of us for the kdis parents deaths to be tied into it.. but instead.. it’s just trauma. But it’s satisfying enough that it feels like a great payoff, that it wasn’t some big dark secret like misdirected... it was just an old man who didn’t want to loose what family he had left. And that’s fucking brilliant. 

Next Week: THE FIRST TEMPLE BABY! The Plantars and Marcie head into the woods to fight moblins and ggghosts! I mean.. that is what the forest temple is right? 

Until then follow me for more reviews, follow me on my patreon your support would be appricated and see you at the next rainbow. 

[mackenziegthomas]

3 little moments from Mack’s childhood...

A Mack, age 5.

“Whats with the boot mark on my homework?”

Mack’s head shot up, her head turning, and her wide eyes meeting with Bella, leaning out her bedroom window. The roof had seemed so inviting to Mack, even if now it was lonely.

“I’m sorry.” Came pouring out immediately, because she’d been conditioned. Apologise, apologise, apologise. Most of the time she’d done something to warrant it, anyway. “I didn’t mean it.”

“Are you hiding?” Bella redirected, shuffling to sit at the windowsill.

Mack turned back to look at her shoes, pulling at the edge roof tile underneath them. “They don’t like the way I answer questions. And Mom keeps doing that stare.” Mack scrunched up her face as best she could, imitating the stare, “They don’t even like me, anyways.”

“Why do you care if they like you? You’re gonna change the world.”

“How do I do that?” It didn’t make sense to her-- the world was so big. Someone told her it was like 7 million people, or something. That was a lot of people, when she couldn’t even change one to like her.

“I dunno.” Bella shrugged, swinging her legs out onto the roof with a soft thud, “Its you, Kenz. You’ll figure it out. I’ll help you.”

That made sense, right? Future her could figure it out. Maybe she’d know some of the 7 million people, and that would make it easier. “You promise to always help me?”

“Yeah Kenz, I promise.”

A Mack, age 8.

PB and J alone at recess kind of sucked, but the last time she hung out with her group of friends, they had called her a tomboy. She didn’t really get what was bad about it, but apparently in a conversation about painting nails, calling it stupid and performative to men wasn’t the right thing to say.

She kicked at a rock, before looking around for something to do. Recess was easier before Bella went to middle school. Her friends were hardly ever mean, and when they were, Bella told them off.

Hidden off in the corner, she spotted Jamie Dyer, nose in a book.

She wondered if that was how he became so smart. Sometimes, she’d cross her fingers and hope to be sat next to him in tests. Not to cheat.. but just to double check her answers were the same as his.

“What are you reading?” She asked, scuffing her shoe on the ground one last time before committing- sitting cross legged next to the scrawny boy.

“Did you know that there's a lake in Scotland that houses a giant monster?”

“There is?” Mack questioned, because she’d never heard anything like it.

“Yeah!” Jamie added excitedly, tilting the book towards Mack, pointing to a picture, “They say it looks like this, but because its a myth, we may never truly work out what it looks like.”

“So its a hidden monster?”

“No. Not exactly-” And Jamie went off on a ramble, telling her all the details he knew about the monster, and she listened attentively. He was kind of odd, and she didn’t quite understand some of the big words he used, but it was nice to have a friend that didn’t expect her to be anything she couldn’t be.

A Mack, age 9.

“One day we’re gonna outgrow this sandbox.” Mack stated, working on the best sandcastle that would ever exist. They’d spent most of the afternoon working on it, and now it was carving out the finer details- like the west tower of the castle.

“We’ll get a bigger one.” Sasha brushed off easily, and Mack scrutinized him for a moment. He always had the answers, and sometimes she envied that.

“I meant, metaphorically.” It was no secret that Sasha had the outlook of a puppy dog, and sometimes, Mack wished she could be him. He had the friends, he was good at sports, and he got to wear pants all the time. She hated the once a week skirt her Mom had forced her into today. “I wish I could see the world like you do.”

“Just borrow my eyes for a day. You could do it.” Another easy answer, and Mack wondered if maybe he had a book of all the right things to say. 

She’d steal it, just until she memorized it, and then give it back with an apology. Sasha would understand. He always understood her.

He was one of those very few people that did, and without him, sometimes Mack wondered if she’d understand herself at all.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Treat Your S(h)elf

Fly Girls: How Five Daring Women Defied All Odds and Made Aviation History by Keith O’Brien

Others found jobs but got paid far less than men—a fact not lost on cash-strapped employers. It was, one employer said, the only real reason to hire women: “They produce more and demand less.

- Keith O'Brien, Fly Girls

I wish I had read this book when I was growing up as I was in ignorant bliss to the barriers faced by the early women pioneers of aviation. I count myself fortunate that I had a supportive family that despite being conservative only had one ground rule if I was going to do something than see it through to the end. No whining or making excuses. I’m not into cookie fortune wisdom such as turn obstacles into opportunities (however true that is). But when some people tell me I can’t do something I jolly well go ahead and do it.

Describing the feeling of flying is like describing why one climbs mountains. If you really have to ask then you won’t get it. As Louise Thaden, one of the most iconic pioneering women aviators in this book said, “If you will tell me why, or how, people fall in love, I will tell you why, or how, I happened to take up aviation.”

But from about 14-15 years old I was hooked and by 17 I had my pilot’s license. I would learn to fly out in Asia (because we lived there) and in Kenya and South Africa (on family vacations). Flying was the one thing my other ultra-competitive older siblings could not do. They were better than me in almost everything else - triathlons, mountaineering, hiking, polo, horse riding, parachuting - but not driving cars fast or flying. But beyond a childish and immature source of pride I cannot describe the heavenly bliss of piloting a plane over stunning landscapes. I knew early on I wanted to fly as a career and fortunuately the army gave me that path to succeed flying combat helicopters.

My path was much easier because of the women aviators that had gone before me. For pioneering pilots of the 1920s and 1930s, the challenges were enormous. For women it was even more daunting. In this marvellous history, Keith O’Brien recounts the early years of aviation through a generation of American female pilots who carved out a place for themselves and their sisterhood.

Although Amelia Earhart’s story has been recounted numerous times, the addition of the other female pilots makes for a more thorough and enjoyable read that should appeal to readers interested in history, aviation, and women’s achievements.

Despite the sensation they created, each of these amazing women “went missing in her own way.” This is the inspiring untold story of five women from very different walks of life - including a New York socialite, an Oakland saleswoman, a Florida dentist’s secretary and a Boston social worker - who fought and competed against men in the  high-stakes national air races of the 1920s and 1930s — and won.

Between the world wars, no sport was more popular, or more dangerous, than airplane racing. Thousands of fans flocked to multi-day events, and cities vied with one another to host them. The pilots themselves were hailed as dashing heroes who cheerfully stared death in the face. Well, the men were hailed. Female pilots were more often ridiculed than praised for what the press portrayed as silly efforts to horn in on a manly and deadly pursuit. The derisive press dubbed the first women’s national air race “The Powder Puff Derby.”

It’s a brisk, spirited history of early aviation focused on 5 irrepressible women. Florence Klingensmith, a high-school dropout who worked for a dry cleaner in Fargo, North Dakota, and who trained as a mechanic so she could learn planes inside and out but whose first aviation job was as a stunt girl, standing on a wing in her bathing suit. Louise McPhetridge Thaden a girl who grew up as a tomboy and later became the mother of two young kids who got her start selling coal in Wichita. Ruth Elder, an Alabama divorcee was determined to be the first woman to fly across the Atlantic. Amelia Earhart was of course the most famous, but not necessarily the most skilled. Ruth Nichols who chafed at the constraints of her blue-blood family's expectations of marrying into wealth and into high society.

In 1928, when women managed to get jobs in other male dominated fields, fewer than 12 had a pilot’s license, and those ambitious for prizes and recognition faced entrenched sexism from the men who ran air races, backed fliers, and financed the purchase of planes. They decided to organise: “For our own protection,” one of them said, “we must learn to think for ourselves, and do as much work as possible on our planes.” Although sometimes rivals in the air, they forged strong friendships and offered one another unabated encouragement.

O’Brien vividly recounts the dangers of early flight: In shockingly rickety planes, pilots sat in open cockpits, often blinded by ice pellets or engine smoke; instruments were unreliable, if they worked at all; sudden changes in weather could be life threatening. Fliers regularly emerged from their planes covered in dust and grease. Crashes were common, with planes bursting into flames; but risking injury and even death failed to dampen the women’s passion to fly. And yet their bravery was only scoffed at by male prejudice. Iconic  oilman Erle Halliburton believed, “Women are lacking in certain qualities that men possess.” Florence Klingensmith’s crash incited a debate about allowing menstruating women to fly.

And yet these women still took off in wooden crates loaded with gasoline. They flew over mountains, deserts and seas without radar or even radios. When they came down, they knew that their landings might be their last. But together, they fought for the chance to race against the men - and in 1936 one of them would triumph in the toughest race of all. And When Louise Thaden became the first woman to win a national race, even the great Charles Lindbergh fell curiously silent.

O'Brien nicely weaves together the stories of these five remarkable women in the spirit of Tom Wolfe’s The Right Stuff who broke the glass ceiling to achieve greatness.

Between the unreliability of early planes – developed through trial and error and liable to have a wing suddenly sheer off midflight – and the virulent sexism that hampered these pilots’ access to better quality planes and the sponsorship they desperately needed, it was a tough road. A female flier could hardly emerge unscathed – with the possible exception of Amelia Earhart, the one name still familiar today, successful in flight and public persona, until she disappeared.

This book then is a fine testament to their accomplishlments. It’s no feminist screed but a very human story of courage and conviction triumphing over fear and self-doubt. As Ruth Nichols, the most accomplished female aviator once said, “it takes special kinds of pilots to break frontiers, and in spite of the loss of everything, you can’t clip the wings of their hearts,”

Little girls should never have the wings of their dreams clipped for how else can they soar?

[werelesbian]

Sometimes I feel like it would be easier if I was a dude because I act really masculine sometimes and have masculine behaviors. I also don’t like having certain female parts i.e. boobs but I know it’s because I’m uncomfortable with how they look. I’ve thought about binding but I know that’s unhealthy for me, so sports bras it is.

It’s kind of funny because I’m going through similar stuff as when I was younger. I had really bad body dysmorphia when I was first questioning my sexuality and may have thought I could’ve been trans at one point but I’m not. I’m just uncomfortable with having female parts. I’d like to have a flat chest but sports bras give me the same effect. I wish I was also taller but I’m average height. I dunno why I want masculine features so bad. I just kind of always have.

Thinking about all of this as well, sometimes I feel like it would be easier to be a dude so I wouldn’t feel as guilty for being attracted to women. Like it would be easier if I was a dude so then I wouldn’t feel like I’m a creep for liking women. I dunno. I just go around all these different possibilities because it’s hard to face this part of myself. I pushed my attraction to women down for years because I wanted to fit in. I was scared of being seen as “different”. My friends all acted very feminine and what not and I felt I had to be that way too.

Looking back on old photos from my feminine days, I was so uncomfortable. I wore makeup everyday, shaved everyday and basically over manicured everything. I did so because I felt ugly. I felt very ugly. I thought if I looked feminine and “pretty”, people would like me more and think I was attractive. I dealt with an eating disorder beforehand and it made my self esteem tank.

I dress more masculine now and I’m embracing my tomboy roots again. I was so proud to be a tomboy as a kid and I didn’t give a shit about anything. I’m trying to embrace that again. Fuck society’s standards of what is deemed “acceptable” for women. I don’t feel comfortable with feminine clothes and prefer masculine ones. They’re more comfortable and easier to style. I’ve been feeling more self confident about who I am but it’s not perfect. I’m working on it though.