#but if someone has it blacklisted i don’t wanna trigger them by having it not under those???

[eggjaculations]

i wanna talk ab this bc i finally feel confident enough to even say anything at all on my weight but lemme go. in hs i felt the most beautiful i ever did at 135 lbs. i’m 5’3”, so that really was the perfect weight for a 17 year old as active as i was, on birth control, and considering everything else in my life. i wasn’t bony, i wasn’t by any means overweight, and i knew it! i’m very very glad i had that experience, too, because after i turned 18 i started dropping weight really quickly. i had sort of slowly tapered off my amount of exercise until it was solely how much i worked everyday and danced every night. by the time i was 19 i was completely underweight at ab 105 lbs. i looked really skinny and a lot of people commented on it. a lot of people also told me they wished they were me. a lot more people told me that. pretty much only my family worried about my weight loss and tried to help by maybe not the best means, but all my friends were envious. and i am absolutely not blaming them, that’s the point of this post actually. they just saw what models looked like and assumed that’s the peak. it’s really not. im not gonna lie, i looked really “good” that skinny! it was the “right” amount of hip bone and the “appropriate” amount of shoulder and collarbone sticking out. and i hate that now. i hate it so much that we convey this idea of skinny women as so “peak” that we subconsciously starve ourselves even when we look like this because it’s “kinda hot tho.” i’m 23 now and i’m back up to about 105 lbs. yea. back up. it did get worse, and this past july i was 97 lbs and looking healthier than i had previously. i don’t know exactly, bc i avoid scales at all cost anyway, but i can predict i got down to about 90 lbs. i was literally skin and bones. depressed. addicted to multiple substances. i wanna say to anyone who does see themselves in this post (if anyone sees this post) that it gets better and it keeps getting better. i’m 107 lbs usually, and if i’ve eaten and exercised for a good period i’ll get up to 112 lbs! sometimes i get down to 100 lbs if i forget to eat. i just didn’t get “hungry” for literally years unless it was to harmfully binge and then puke it all up, but now it’s moreso “why is my stomach growling tf is this empty feeling” and then drinking water and eating some chocolate until i can make myself something i enjoy and savor (which is a fantastic hack for anyone struggling with making/eating meals btw!!) but it feels weird to have to train myself to enjoy eating the way i did before. but i do now :) i indulge very mindfully by making tea and eating things like graham crackers with curd and different jellies. trader joe’s has amazing things you can just pop in and really enjoy. i love eating i love indulging i love gaining weight in my face and arms and the sides of my butt and my thighs and i even love that i kinda have cankles again!!! i love it all!!! i’m gaining weight in weird places and i feel really sexy and hot and soft and pretty and cute and womanly and filled out and full and whole!!! and i want every woman and man and person no matter how you present or identify yourself, but most importantly no matter your size, perceived or actual, all y’all, i want every single one of y’all to all know rn that you are capable of having this, perfectly deserving of it, and that it just genuinely takes a long time. you might not even notice it’s happening. i been on the up and up for a couple years now!!! and i’m only just noticing the progress those two years have been, despite the many times i felt like or truly had taken a few steps back. i have made progress, and i still am, and so are you!!! right now whether u realize it or not, every moment is progress. you see, your body simply can’t help it!!! on some cells at work type shit rn, your physical body is always trying it’s best to protect, heal, and defend YOU, and you don’t even have to think about that all the time :) so next time you think ab that cake, eat it. your body told you it wanted it for a reason. have some. savor it. you deserve it.

[vadersaber]

I think what kinda bothers me is.. I get that people write noncon themes as a way to cope with their traumas. And if they wanna do that, that’s totally up to them. But when they post this on a very public website, and sometimes not even tagged correctly, they are hurting and triggering other people. I have noncon blocked too but somehow, I still see these kind of stories.

Like you say, Joel is generally a very safe character. He’s the protector. So going into his tags, you just wouldn’t expect that kinda stuff because it’s so completely the opposite of who Joel is.

Like I said, he’s one of my comfort characters and has been for years. And now I feel uncomfortable going into his x reader tag because I’m actually scared of what people are posting.

Also I agree, if someone loves Joel, why would they read something about him doing that to you/someone?

Thanks for not just ignoring the asks because I know it’s a sensitive topic and I definitely don’t want you to get any shit for this but I’m glad I got to talk to someone about this 💕💕

I completely understand and share your opinion. that's just the thing, people will have different opinions and preferences, and if those writers want to dwelve into Joel's character this way, that is their business. it does become a problem, however, as you said, when fics aren't properly tagged. even if you blacklist a word and they still appear, maybe something's amiss. and again, warnings aren't a must, they're usually given as a "by the way, here's what this includes" but in my opinion, if we're talkin about sensitive topics such as mental health or in this case SA/dub-con etc., these things always should be tagged.

and again I reiterate, this is just my - and your - personal opinion, not telling anyone what or how to do things. it's just very concerning that unproper tagging and some of the ideas some people have can cause someone to be genuinely afraid to go into the tags for their comfort character. I'm really sorry you feel this way darling. it shouldn't be this way. and certainly not with a character as comforting and pretty heroic as Joel, who is probably one of the most protective and kind-hearted characters ever.

but as I said before, I aim to have this blog as a safe and open space! I hope you find some comfort in the fics I reblog here because yes, some are smut, but you won't ever find triggering topics here (hopefully) ❤️

[cookie-waffle]

Something I don’t think a lot of proshippers realize is that they need to tag their content with the proper trigger warnings.

You can’t just tag underage or incest ships with the ship name. You HAVE to tag it with trigger warnings especially if the source material is meant to be accessible to kids, and/or if the ship itself actually has versions of it that are not proship.

Example: Link and Zelda is not a proship 99% of the time. But in Twilight Princess Zelda is an adult while Link is a minor, so, shipping that version specifically would be proshipping. But, most people who enjoy that ship are probably NOT interested in proship content and wanna see content of them where they’re the same age. So, do you do see how not including specific trigger warnings for underage ships can cause issues? Do see why it’s maybe not great for someone who just wants to see a ship they like to run into something they didn’t wanna see just because your lazy ass didn’t tag it?

You cannot demand that we “just blacklist the tag so we don’t see it” when you are not tagging it in the first place. I don’t care if tagging things with “underage” or “incest” makes you “look bad”. If you’re already posting that content in the first place, you’re already admitting to being into it. So, what’s the point of trying to hide it? Just tag your goddamn posts.

[bangchanswolfpelt]

Hi! I really appreciate that your blog does a lot of kink friendly stuff, and also that you make sure to seperate fantasy from reality. However, do you mind tagging some of the more hardcore/taboo stuff with something I can filter out? It doesn't have to be specific, just some general content warning for the extreme stuff. I have pretty bad PTSD and I love your blog a lot, I just need to filter out stuff like the bro!beomgyu post thats coming up, or anything similar honestly.

hey!! first off—thank you for being so polite?? that feels condescending to type, but i genuinely mean it. i really appreciate you reaching out and being honest and simultaneously being really very chill, doing just one of those things takes a lot and you did all three! this is going to be a really long response, because i've had a lot of thoughts about content warnings, so buckle up, i'm sorry i don't know how to be more succinct. 💀

when i started this blog, i actually thought about adding warnings for hardcore/dark content; i ended up deciding against it, because i honestly don't think warnings as vague as that are actually helpful. it's like warning for spicy food—it only works so long as everyone's expectations match up. if they don't, then at some point someone's going to step into a fic they think is safe and chill and end up having a very bad time. that's part of the reason i have a general 'here be dragons' warning in my pinned post; i'd rather people be cautious and maybe just make the decision to not read my stuff then be lulled into a false sense of security and end up getting triggered because something that's taboo or extreme to them doesn't register as such to me.

i DO want you to be able to stick around, tho, so long as that's what you want! in my pinned post, i have a list of content that i always warn for, and if there is anything you would like me to add to that list, please please please drop a message in my inbox. i legitimately do not care if it's a list of twenty different things, or if it's something hyper-specific, or something that's not even sexual—if you need me to tag for 'penguin mention', i'll tag for it, yo. having a clear-cut list that i can scan and go 'yes-no-yes-no' is a lot easier on my dysfunctional brainpan, and it will probably be a lot more helpful for you.

i was absolutely planning on tagging/warning for the incest in the brother!gyu fic (and anything else i write in that vein), however! i did just realize that while i haven't posted any actual bro!gyu fic yet, i have been talking about it and i don't think i actually tagged that with any warnings—that's my bad because i absolutely should've been! i'm really sorry if that made you uncomfortable, that was careless of me and i'll be tagging any posts that mention it at all moving forward.

also: i usually put warnings in the tags of my posts, because in my experience, blacklisting tags has usually been how people avoid things they don't want to see in fandom; the way i do that is with 'cw [thing being warned for]'. if this is a method that's no longer effective, or if there's something i can do in addition to that, please let me know!

if you don't feel comfortable dropping a list of things for me to tag (which is totally fair, dropping a bunch of potential triggers in a stranger's lap is a lot, even if you're doing it anonymously), then please just block my blog. i am saying that with all the love in the world—i appreciate that you are here and that you enjoy my writing, but there are plenty of people peddling good smut on the internet and your mental health is vastly more important than a few paragraphs about a kpop idol getting railed that i wrote at two in the morning. i'll miss you, but i'd rather you stay safe than risk getting triggered by staying around.

i wanna thank you again for being so polite and so chill; i know that can be hard to do when we're talking about stuff like this. i hope that you're having a good day, stay safe and take care of yourself💕

[n7punk]

I was working on this digital fan art for an author whose writing I loved. However, I’ve recently become aware of some toxic behavior on their part. I’m really proud of how the art is turning out though! I even considered making another tumblr to post it so that I could hide my shame. Moment of weakness. I downloaded tumblr to look at She-ra fan art and read other people’s ramblings but I’m incredibly grateful for the thoughtful way you approached the topic. It forced me to dig deep and really think about what I support and what my support means to other people. The depth of discussion around this is hard for me to grasp (cis lesbian using she/her pronouns) but I want to and you specifically are helping me. Long way of saying thanks, I think you’re smart af. I ALSO LOVE YOUR WRITING!!!

ty! rest assured, if i ever do something transphobic, it is an accident and please correct me. I dealt with so much internalized transphobia when i came out to myself (//cw transphobia: i cant count how many hours i spent laying in my bed shouting “youre a girl! just be a girl!” to myself) and it’s hard to deprogram that shit.

The art is a tough situation, especially when you have something like that which you are proud of. If you have friends in the fandom space, perhaps you could share it privately with them so someone can still appreciate it with the appropriate caveats behind the source of the initial inspiration?

Under a read more because I don’t want to give her a voice but I wanna rant about her “apology”:

if she had been at all remorseful, that would be a different conversation, but i am 100% convinced she is a crypto-terf. She deleted her original 6-tweet response that “i’m right that this isn’t transphobic” but boy was it something, and the thin apology she posted later was not sufficient, nor did it feel at all genuine to me.

And okay, let’s pretend that excluding someone based only on their genitals isn’t inherently transphobic: it would still be problematic and hurtful, like having a mug that says “i dont do [fat people]” or any other personal feature. it is discriminating someone based on their body, and nobody would be defending that as a “personal choice” of hers, they would be calling it fatphobic (which takes us back to the part where this was absolutely transphobic).

Then she pulled the “cancel culture is toxic and hurts everybody” card in her next tweet, making herself out to be the victim in the grand scheme. These tweets were not rash reactions btw, they were spread out over the course of several hours or even a day, and she didn’t delete them for many hours afterwards either - these tweets are how she really feels, and the fact she has since deleted everything and is not addressing it shows that she doesn’t want to learn better. (She could be addressing it on her discord/patreon, idk im not on there, but I doubt it).

This isn’t the first incident with her showing disregard for others and it won’t be the last. Her server was a toxic place I legitimately felt trapped in even though I rarely spoke. My readers would notice if I left, so I was thankful when I was given an out to leave. That is when I posted about not taking requests, but I was actually leaving because of the three separate incidents where they triggered me with the disgusting and violent content they posted. They would repeatedly praise authors I have blacklisted for triggering content. If I had owned that server, I would have completely banned discussions of those works, censorship be damned. I can tell you from how she handled triggers that Silk only cares about things that negatively affect her personally. She isn’t a kind or caring person, and that would be enough to earn my block, even if she wasn’t a terf (which she is).

[pudgecuddles]

My Content & Boundaries

[No need to be alarmed! Nothing has happened to prompt this, I just figured it was about time that I pin a post like this.]

Welcome to my kink blog! This post is here to introduce myself, disclose what type of content that I may reblog or post here (including trigger warnings) and state my boundaries concerning who I want and don’t want interacting with me or my blog.

Intro:

Hi! I’m pudgecuddles! I’ve been here in the community as a lurker since 2018, and finally got around to making this sideblog about 2 years ago under the handle “prettypudgy”. I changed my username slightly after some twitter douchecanoes took screenshots of my content and made threads mocking it.

I am 24 years old and identify as female. Please use she/her pronouns when referring to me. I won’t be mad at all though if you use they/them or he/him, but I’ll probably just gently let you know what I prefer  :)

I am aromantic/asexual, meaning that I do not experience romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender identity or expression. I still experience aesthetic attraction, and of course enjoy the concept of weight gain as a kink.

Although I am participating in them, I am not looking for RP partners at the moment!

My Content and the Content I Reblog:

Although I do like fluffy and mild WG content (ya’ll who make that type of content are amazing and beautiful and deserve all the love and reblogs in the world), I do enjoy darker and less popular tropes/kinks as well. Up until recently the majority of the stuff I’ve reblogged has been cute and moderate, but I have been working on my own stories and RPs which happen to be on the more intense/darker side.

My content going forward may include topics such as:

Extreme Weight Gain Immobility Mind Break Pet/Pig Play BDSM Humiliation Manipulation Feminization Dub-Con Watersports Eproctophilia Slob Abusive Relationships (it’s not something I enjoy writing, but I may reblog it)

I will always tag specific topics and tropes that may not be for everyone such as immobility or fart kink stuff. And definitely triggering content such as dub-con or degradation. For example, I will tag it as “Immobility”, “cw Immobility” and “tw Immobility”, in case someone has only one tag blacklisted.

Please keep yourself safe! This community is supposed to be a comfortable, creative area where users can curate a homepage of content that matches thier tastes and respects their boundaries. I will not be offended at all if you decide to block me or my written/rendered content. All I ask is if you’re already an acquaintance or mutual of mine that you let me know before you do  :)  You don’t even need to tell me why, I just don’t want to wonder if I made you mad or were ignoring me on purpose.

Zero hard feelings, seriously! The block button is there to protect you!

Boundaries:

Please do not hit on me, or unexpectedly discus sexual topics without me knowing your age and instigating it. It is different if I already know you and am comfortable speaking with you like that.

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow that drawing is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Thank you so much! ^_^  What do you think about the shape of his hands?

Minors: If you do not have your age, (or at least an 18+ only, or “I am an adult!”) in your bio, I will either ask you for your age or choose not to interact directly with you. This is not a punishment or a personal vendetta. I just do not feel comfortable interacting directly with minors when it comes to NSFW kink content. I am okay with reblogging your content, as supporting those in the community that are still young and exploring their identities in a safe and distant way is very important to me. I am so happy for you that you have found a welcoming and protective space to safely explore your sexuality and discuss your favorite groups. It’s what I wish I had when I was younger.

But I ask that you don’t attempt to private message me or participate in conversations that are sexual in nature.

Bigotry: Do not interact with me, my blog or my content if you do not support all LGBTQ+ identities. This includes but is not limited to: Transgender folk, Bisexuals, Pansexuals, Polysexuals, Omnisexuals, Asexuals, Aromantics and Non-Binary/Agender peeps. TERFs, exclusionists and Battleaxe Bisexuals are not welcome and will be insta-blocked. Same with those that participate in “discourse” on these topics.

If you do not believe that Black Lives Matter or support Donald Trump or any conservative party, politician or policy, please unfollow and block me. They have killed thousands of people and actively lobby against minorities.

This is the only time that I will be political on this blog. I am infinitely more outspoken/advocating on my main, but this sideblog is supposed to be a stress-free, kinky escape from the horrors of reality. I go on my main to reblog petitions, I go on here to reblog erotica.

This does not mean that I do not care, or that I am not an ally or that I enable racists or transphobes. It just means that I recognize that sometimes people get burnt out from constantly being reminded of the policies that harm them, or acts of violence against their race. I want this blog to be an escape, for both myself and my followers.

Hate/Trolling: Hateful or negative comments on me or my friend’s content will get your account blocked. This ranges from “ew” to telling them to kill themselves. This behavior is not tolerable anywhere, and the more extreme comments will be reported to Tumblr staff. Comments saying our content is disgusting will automatically tell me you think it’s hot and are in denial. How very sad. I will dedicate my grossest story to you specifically.

Inter-Community Drama: Mob behavior, brigading, witch hunting, call out posts (vague or by name), vitriolic hate and bullying of any type is something that makes me extremely uncomfortable due to having experienced cyberbullying in the past. Making people deactivate, continuing to attack them after apologies and other related behavior will get you blocked no matter the quality of your content, your standing in the community or our relationship history.

I cannot deal with seeing that behavior and it scares me continuing to interact with those that I learn can so easily turn on their friends like that.

That’s All Folks!

[toolittletoomuch]

Start here!

We make some short texts about our life, find it in #chronics of being an autistic system

About our art

We're learning to draw and ww will use this accont (and our twitter) to express ourselves as someone who deals with mental illness and trauma so we may post sensitive content sometimes

But the last thing we want is to be a trigger so we'll always indicate and tag the triggers so we suggest that you blacklist the tags that may trigger you. Please stay safe!

About us (We will edit from time to time to keep it fresh)

We are a system formed due to childhood trauma. We figure it out recently so we still don't know much, We're still getting to know each other. I don't knowhow many we are as I keep finding more and more.

We are autistic, professionally diagnosed. But we still don't have a professional diagnosis to DID or OSDD. We are working on it. But it has been recognized by our therapist.

We are from Brazil, English is not our first language so please forgive the mistakes.

We almost never have amnesia and we don't switch often. Our host is always on the front our co-councious. We probably have OSDD1b or partial TDI which is a new diagnosis and we meet all the criteria.

The body has 22. We are in college and we study psychology. We also are writers but only published a short-story in portuguese until now. Maybe one day it'll be translated, who knows 🤷🏻‍♂️

Now about the alters, we'll post a little here, make a post about each one and put the link here so you could know more. But it will probably take a while to finish. Anyway, here we go:

Theo

I'm the host of the system, always around. My pronouns are they/ them. 22 and I age with the body. I like the color blue, I like to play minecraft and the sims, I love medical shows and I'm the one who lives outside life more. Theo is my name but it's not the body's name. That one we chose not to say. I'm trans nonbinary and pansexual. As I'm on the front almost all the time, the body is transitioning.

Devil

I'm 20. My pronouns are she/her. I like to enjoy life so quarantine sucks! I f*cking miss the parties we never went, the fun we never had. My favorite color is red and black. Yes, my name is Devil but I'm human and I'm not evil.

Katy

l'm 16. My pronouns are she/her. If you could see me the first thing you would notice is my style. I'm alternative, maybe a litlle goth or emo, IDK, I don't have references. But I don't care for labels, we have a lot of bigger problems. I fight for justice and environmental causes. I wanna a better world for my future.

M.

I'm what they call a sexual protector. I'm older than I wish I was, but I'm still sexy. Other then obviously what my function made you think, I really love music. My pronouns are he/him.

Esme

I'm a caretaker and a emotional protector. I try to keep the body calm. My pronouns are she/ her and I have two daughters in the system: J. and C.

Hector

You may think that because I'm fat and funny I'm a soft guy, but I'm a protector and stop underestimating me because I'm very strong and I'll win any fight you start. My pronouns are ge/ him and my age doesn't matter, let just say I'm big lol

About the littles

We are not going to give much information. They are kids for God's sake. What we can say is what is on their little space blog @tltm-kids:

S. is 3

C. is 4

J. is 8

Ca. is 10

T. is a age slider between 6 and 12

There's more but today It's that!

[athena1138]

About Me/Tag List

I figured I’d go ahead and instead of just updating my tag list, I’d just create a full About Me because I don’t really have one. 

I’m absurdly shy, so instead of talking to other people like a proper member of society, I just go like/reblog every post someone shares until they either block me or they talk to me lol. (So, if I’m in your notes a lot, I greatly enjoy your presence and consider you a friend even if we’ve never said a word to each other.)  If you’re interested, my Ask box or my DMs are always open to people who wanna talk. I’m not a great conversationalist, so it’d be best if you just throw me into a topic instead of trying to make small talk.

My name’s Becca. I’m 25, live in the U.S., use she/her pronouns, and I’m queer. I would use a more specific label but frankly idfk what's going on anymore.

I graduated with a Bachelor’s in Mandarin Chinese, and I also speak nearly fluent Spanish and a bit of French. I’ve got 2 cats, Varric and Chowder.

Athena1138 is my name for just about everything--snap, insta, tiktok, twitch, steam, epic. I’m on both PlayStation and Xbox under Blackheart1138 because I was young and edgy. I’ve got an ao3 as PusillanimousBitch1138, and I’ve got other tumblr blogs, too. Pb1138 is my writing blog and Gossamer-Wings-and-Teeth1138 is my art blog. I have others but they’re not as active. 

I do not tolerate terfs or anything of the sort, nor homophobes, racists, sexists, nazis, white supremacists, Trump supporters, incels, MAPs/pedophiles, you get the point. If you’re into that kind of shit, you can go ahead and flush yourself down the toilet with the rest of it because I want nothing to do with you.

I stream at twitch on Mondays at about 5:30 EST, and I try to post YouTube videos of my streams on Sundays. Both names for that are athena1138 if you're ever interested.

My main fandoms seem to be Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Critical Role, Dimension 20, the Witcher, things of that nature. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, I ran out of steam lol. So this is my tag list if you want to blacklist something or whatever. The posts I tag the most consistently are posts that I make myself. 

shut up becca -- this tag goes with all original posts I make, no matter what they are. Sometimes I’ll forget, but I’m usually pretty good about adding at least this one. 

selfie / my face / me -- these are some of the tags I’ll use if I share a selfie. It doesn’t happen super often, but I usually do 2 or 3 at a time because I’m feeling myself. 

critical role spoilers / critrole spoilers / cr spoilers -- all 3 of these are the tags I’ll put on every post concerning the newest episode of Critical Role until a week after it airs. I.e., this week’s episode is 118. Every post concerning ep118 will be tagged with all 3 tags until the following Thursday. Unless I forget which happens, but usually only for a post or 2. This applies to all posts, even ones not made by me. If it’s a post that applies to more than just this one episode, I will also include the tags -- critical role / critrole / cr -- and I will also tag characters as needed. 

cat / cats / my cat / my son / my cats / my sons / my children -- these go with posts about my cats. Each cat has his own individual tag, either -- varric giovanni cathras / pippin armani took / riz chowder gukcat -- depending on which cat it is. 

It is important to note that I do not tag most posts which are reblogged. 99.5% of the time, I do a fast reblog. The other .5% is usually just me talking in the notes. I will sometimes tag things that I think might be triggers and will tag it like “ tw whateveritis “ but that’s for the really sensitive stuff. If I post a lot about something that you think I should tag, you can tell me, but I won’t promise to commit to tagging it. (Like, Cullen. I’ve been asked to tag posts about Cullen. Like no, dude, at that point you should just unfollow me because I post about him a lot.) I try to be considerate, but at the end of the day, this is my blog and I don’t have the spoons to try to conscientiously tag each and every one of the nearly-limit-reaching amount of posts I post every day. If you do have something you want me to tag, please send it to me in a DM rather than as an ask on anon. I tend to see anons asking me to do things like that as aggressive whether they intend to be or not, and will most likely just delete it, whereas with a DM I have a face to place it with and can check myself. 

personal -- posts where I talk about myself or my life or my family or my feelings. this one has been popping up a lot more lately. 

becca writes -- posts where I share my writing

becca draws -- posts about my drawings 

becca rambles -- posts where I’m just talking, probably about nothing super important 

becca rants -- rants. 

becca’s work -- posts about my job. Usually paired with the becca rants tag because my job is stressful 

becca’s family drama -- posts about shit going on in my shithole family. I’m white trash so there’s quite a bit of it. 

becca speaks -- kind of goes with becca rambles, but this one usually goes with asks, too. 

becca’s dreams -- my dreams. I have very detailed dreams that I usually remember, so the interesting ones get posted. 

my ocs -- my ocs. I’ve got like 54 of them by now. I don’t talk about them as much as I used to, but they’re still there. There are tags for groupings (like, wardens: missella/mireena/brilla/rastig , hawkes: belladonna/anna/nev/mariana ) but there’s too many to just tag them by name anymore. I’m also very tired and won’t write out every single grouping I have, especially since I’ll probably just churn a new one out and have to update it again. 

Which brings me to my final thing:  I’m a bitch, y’all. People are usually surprised. Most of the time, I don’t mean to be. I have a hard time reading social cues and more often than not, I don’t realize I’m being rude until way after the fact. It’s worse when I’m tired which is all the time nowadays. You’re free to call me on it if you care to. 

[shijiujun]

Alternatively, that spoilers anon could just block the tag of the fandom they don't wanna see rn, then when they're finished with that piece of media they can come back and raid that tags. I just started tgcf and unfortunately it's how I have to go for now :( but at least I've stopped seeing spoilers

hahahaha yeah agreed thanks for the note! tbh i do think it’s impossible to avoid spoilers unless you blacklist the tag of the show itself, although i think blocking also helps you to minimize seeing a particular user’s posts even if someone else you follow reblogs from that user, i think? 

and unfortunately i think it’s not very possible to rely on getting the op or user to help their followers curate what they want/don’t want to see on their blogs, especially in terms of spoilers 

there’s always going to be like a forgotten tag (i’m sorry, i’m really getting more forgetful these days)

something i might not think is a spoiler but others think is a spoiler

every user has different tagging systems (if any), for e.g. i’m not the type to consistently leave tags in my reblogs (self or otherwise), so it’s best not to assume that every user would want to, or has the habit of adding certain tags to their posts/reblogs (of course i try my best, but yeah, i don’t feel like i need to justify why i did or did not put certain tags XD) 

like you said, best to be safe and just blacklist a larger tag instead of just spoilers, or just block/unfollow the user(s) they have an issue with - totally valid and yeah just do what’s best for what you want to see!

the only exception is trigger warning or content warning tags - if i forgot to put any of these, any followers are free to tell me to pls add certain tags in this case, and for those in any case i do put them under a cut as well and give plenty of warnings (i hope) XDDD there’s really only so much i can do for spoilers hahaha

in any case, would like to add once again that my blog (as is stated in my description) is not a spoiler free blog - sorry if anyone feels bothered or have their browsing experiences disrupted, but yep, you’re gonna see some spoilers here, and unfortunately i really do forget to tag sometimes XD pls feel free to unfollow/block!

[alo-piss-trancy]

Ok hi, I didn't wanna say anything, but please don't write knifeplay/bloodplay for Yuri. I def don't wanna spoil anything, but it's learned on a certain route that Yuri has a s*lf h*rm problem (I'll leave it at that).

You honestly seem like you're not trying to be a jerk with this ask, so I'm going to do my best to answer this as politely as possible without compromising my personal beliefs on the matter. This is going to be long and a little serious, but please note I'm not attacking you or trying to start a debate. I'm just laying all my thoughts on this down at once so I make myself clear, because a short answer would leave a lot of nuance out.

I understand what you're trying to do here. For the record though, I also considered that a pretty massive spoiler and I did not appreciate that at all. Even if you all think you're 'helping', don't do that again. Y/uri was pretty much the only character I'd managed to avoid most spoilers on and you killed the surprise for me. This game is already so full of fluffy 'filler' in the beginning that I don't have a ton of big plot points to look forward to in each route.

Now, I realise this is a very delicate topic and incredibly triggering to some people, especially with those two things combined. I am 100% willing to tag it with just about any variation needed to ensure you or others affected can blacklist/block it and never have to see a word of it in the future. I'd also be happy to go back and tag that original text post I made if needed. I mean that. You all are welcome to ask me to tag things anytime, and so long as you're polite about it I'm perfectly willing to oblige to the best of my ability in future posts! If I occasionally forget, just toss me a light reminder and I'll jump into editing and add it in.

That said, I want to make it clear that I am very firmly against censorship. I'm willing to take all necessary precautions to ensure people can curate their experiences on this blog and AO3, but at the end of the day I can still post whatever fictional stuff I choose to. As can anyone else. Same goes for more formally published media.

Now, it's entirely possible I would have gotten to that part of the game and decided 'oh dang, I'm not so enthused about that fic idea anymore...'. My whims and ideas change frequently, and what you mentioned is a heavy topic with a lot to unpack and process. It's also entirely possible that future plot would only provide more fuel.

Fyi, when I originally mentioned the knifeplay I was actually thinking a lot more along the lines of her doing it to the protagonist, not the reverse. But for the record, if I did choose to write it with focus on Y/uri, I would still be well within my rights to.

This next part of my answer is going to address some heavy topics, this is your warning!!!

Sometimes people's kinks are a way to take a thing that is personally scary or upsetting to them and find a way to reverse it. To find pleasure or power or get used to the idea of the awful thing in a safe, controlled fashion. I'm not going to go into the full details on this because there's plenty of explanation and research elsewhere already written up, as well as an excellent book on the subject, and I'm not turning this blog into a discourse debate. But I needed to mention it for my point.

There are plenty of stories that could be explored with Y/uri in this context. Did she have this kink before the self harm events started and it was completely unrelated, or did she develop it afterwards? How did she discover it beforehand? If developed afterwards, did it start out as another way of harming mixed with pleasure in a self-destructive way, often done sloppily and without proper technique? Or was it strictly used as almost exposure therapy to deal with those urges and thoughts in a safer, more contained scenario, maybe even allowing the partner she trusted to wield the knife to prove their bond/reinforce that she can be loved without being hurt deeply, that she is worthy of affection and trust and loyalty. Maybe this finally helps give Y/uri a tool to embrace her 'weirdness' without harming herself and others. Or, what if she thinks it can be a useful tool and is sure she's ready, but partway through the scene she gets triggered or has flashbacks... how does she deal with it? How does her partner? Can it be overcome with effort, research, and taking things slowly, or does she realize this kink is actually completely off the table for her?

What if she has this kink and is excited to try it, but her partner isn't? How does she take that rejection? Or do her poor social skills mean she skipped negotiation to begin with and attempted it in the middle of a vanilla session? Would her partner freak out or even get mad, or try to swallow their fear and let her do it so they don't hurt/offend her, even at the cost of their own comfort?

This topic also opens a ton of potential plots for darkfic, but I'll refrain from discussing that out of respect for you and others.

So as you can see, there's much more to explore than 'Knife=Hot'. I believe those discussions and ideas are necessary and provide important fuel for thought when explored fictionally, especially since mainstream media doesn't cover a lot of them.

~~~

I feel I should take a second to clarify knifeplay for those who may be unaware. It doesn't always equate to actual cutting/drawing blood. That can be an aspect, but usually only by those far more experienced and, you know, actually into that. A lot of participants don't actually go that far. Mostly, it's either about the physical sensation of the knife touching you at all, or the adrenaline/controlled fear and intimate trust of a partner bringing an object like that so close/teasing you with it.

In fact, it's frequently advised in those circles (especially to newcomers) to use a dull butterknife instead, because it simulates the same feelings of metal on skin/can dig in a little without any real risk of cutting/drawing blood. Even if one chooses to use a different knife, it's still pretty common to dull the blade, or some people even substitute with a closed pair of scissors (combined with the partner blindfolded, you can't really tell it apart from the real thing).

These versions of knifeplay are well controlled and ultimately pretty harmless, so long as both parties know what they're doing and stay alert. And more experienced players with sharper knives are even more cautious/have studied extensively to know where/how deep to go without risking scarring/serious injury.

Remember the golden rules of kink: Safe. Sane. Consensual.

With those in place, it is not nearly the same as self harm. Just as controlled, consensual, well-negotiated BDSM with safewords, respected boundaries and a trusted partner is never in the same league as abuse.

~~~

Now that that's out of the way, back to my point:

There's no perfect representation or narrative for everyone, in any group (be that gender/sexuality/triggered by certain things, etc). Every human being is different, everyone interprets media differently, and everyone takes away different elements from stories.

What one person in a particular group may find cathartic, relateable, or painful but necessary food for thought, another may find completely repulsive, personally hurtful, offensive, something they can't stand to hear. And guess what? Both of those can be true at the same time. One side is not immediately right over the other.

There are queer characters or interpretations of them in fics that I vehemently despise, might even find hurtful or sickening and think 'how can anyone create this, it's insufferable! People in 'my group' aren't like that, it's a horrible representation. I can't relate to it at all!' But you know what? Other people can and do, may find comfort in those exact narratives and experiences, may heal their pain instead of inflicting more. And that's great. It's what they needed or wanted and if I don't like it, I click away and do my best to avoid it.

There are specific tropes and narrative themes I personally cannot get through without being triggered into anxiety attacks or dragged back to bad times and places in my life. Sometimes I see them tackled in ways that are hurtful or seem insensitive to me. But I recognise that for someone else, it's exactly what they needed to see to get through that or come to terms with it, or see a way they wish that thing could play out. I would never dream of telling those people they aren't allowed to enjoy it, OR telling the creator of that piece of media or a tv show 'Hey ummm please don't use this plot because it turns me into a human wreck for a week'. Because it's not remotely my place to do so. They can create whatever they want, they have no responsibility towards me or my well being. A few might be kind enough to include a warning at the beginning of that episode or in the description, but they are in no way required to. It's up to me to curate my experience and try to keep my guard up/research what might have those tropes, and in the rare occasions I get blindsided, yeah, it hurts like hell. I struggle, I might even backslide a bit. But I just have to try my best to deal with it and make a note to be more careful next time. Because you can't control the world around you, not even the online world, and you have absolutely no right to. The only right you have is to protect yourself without infringing on other people's boundaries/rights.

And there's also another important point. There doesn't have to be a big important point or explanation for why a creator creates something, or why consumers can enjoy that creation! If someone wants to create a plotline with all of my triggers used in the most 'insensitive', 'wrong', pointless ways possible, strictly for Entertainment or pure kink material instead of some deep dissection of the issues involved? They can go hog wild!!! They are 100% allowed to do so on this earth, and I can't (and wouldn't want to) do a thing to stop them.

One person can read a kink fic and it hits a very emotional theme for them/they think it explores a deep topic well. Another person can read that same fic and get nothing out of it except their rocks off. Both of those readers are completely equal and 'allowed' to enjoy that fic. Both reasons are completely valid reasons for why the creator was 'allowed' to post/create that fic in the first place. Nobody needs permission, nobody has to answer to anybody except themselves. Period. This extends to any topic, any type of fic.

Yes, even for things I find absolutely abhorrent and insensitive and don't understand/want to read ever. I may resent everything about its existence, but I will defend to death the creator's right to make it exist in the first place.

It only affects me if I let it affect me. If someone's making content I despise or am upset by and can't handle, I can choose to ignore or avoid them, blacklist those tags, I can block them and move on with my day. I can do anything within my own bubble, but the second I consider going into their bubble and saying they can't make that thing, I am in the wrong. Because I'm not respecting their space and rights.

If someone makes cookies with ingredients I'm highly allergic to, pastes the ingredient warnings all over the box where I read them, and I still eat one, would anyone cheer me on for blaming them when I have a reaction? Would anyone think it was remotely okay of me to start calling up every bakery in town and saying they weren't allowed to bake those cookies EVER, because some people somewhere might be allergic?

No. They'd tell me I was crossing the line, because I'm infringing on other people's boundaries and lives. I'm expecting everybody else to take responsibility for something that, while horrible and painful, was my fault for touching.

Now, if someone sets out unlabelled cookies not realizing I'm allergic to something in them, and I eat it and have a reaction, that sucks. It's an awful experience. But is it the baker's fault? As long as they didn't do it maliciously, not really. They can be advised politely to label it in the future, and I can do my best to remember to ask/be more cautious next time I come across something I'm unsure of, but they're still allowed to bake those cookies for themselves and others.

Now, if I deliberately baked cookies with an ingredient that people are very frequently allergic to (ex. peanuts) and set it out in a crowded buffet without a warning label, that's a jerk move. That's intentionally trying to cause harm to others. But simply baking that flavour of cookies still isn't a crime or harmful by itself.

~~~

I'll be honest, I'm running out of steam and I think I've said most of what I have to say, so I'll wrap it up. I want to reiterate that I'm not ripping into you with this long answer, anon! I understand why you sent me what you did and I'm trying not to come off as harsh. I'm happy to go back and tag things and will tag anything else similar in the future!!! But at the end of the day, regardless of whether I personally end up writing that fic or not, or even want to after I get to that plot, I don't agree with telling anyone they can't/shouldn't write it at all. I wanted to try and explain my viewpoint thoroughly, and I hope you can respect that, just as I'll respect and try to accommodate you and other followers. This is the only time I'll really get up on a soapbox like this, and I have no interest in debating these things on my blog further, but it is a topic I've been passionate about all my life so I'm afraid I'm not budging on it.

[cherryonigiri]

Ty!! ;; So as bg I'm a sex-repulsed asexual and the haikyuu fandom is just...one of the horniest I've ever been in. Which is cool, I know its normal for most people to like that stuff,except the fandom is also one of the worst, in my tumblr experience, about tagging kinks and putting nsfw under cuts. The amount of nsfw in itself is pretty alienating for me...but to make matter worse I keep coming across kinks that disgust me more than just the regular nsfw--things that I have tag-blacklisted but people haven't TAGgED! And!! Tendou is my favorite character of them all and I just wanna hold his hand and kiss his cheek and read manga together and get comfort from this character, but it really feels like a lot of, if not most, of the content for him is about what a *kinky, sexual sadist* he is and boy it just...really makes me wanna cry sometimes.

Hey anon. I’m so sorry you’ve had to see that content in your feed despite trying to filter tags and doing all the right things to make your feed/tumblr space one where you feel comfortable and safe. (just as an FYI, I tag my nsfw writing + posts with ‘spicy haikyuu’ so feel free to block/blacklist that as well). It’s also been frustrating for me because I have certain tags/kinks that I blacklist as well, and it’s really upsetting for me to see that content pop up in my feed. 

I’m not sure if you’ve used this feature (if you already are, I apologize for assuming you haven’t) - but I’ve found that adding specific words (usually kink names) to the content filter, in addition to the tag filter, really helped to significantly reduce the number of things that slipped through. A lot of the writers I follow used different systems for content warnings: some have an established tagging system, others have a clear trigger warning or content warning section in the synopsis/summary at the top of the post, others have a mixture or a different system. Since there isn’t really a standard, I’ve found the content filter does help because it blocks posts that might not be extensively tagged, but have content warnings in the text of the post itself.

With the recent updates, I know that tagging has become complicated, for both authors and readers. It’s sad that tumblr’s filtering systems (especially the tag filter system) always seem to miss something. You (and everyone else) shouldn’t have to go through that.  Writers can write whatever they want to write, but please give readers/users a way to filter that content. 

I get really frustrated that I’ve been seeing a decent number of posts recently that don’t use any kind of warning system (both in tags or any kind of tw). People can write any kink/dark content they want, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want and expect content creators to use warnings in some way shape or form. I cannot and do not have the right to tell anyone what they can and cannot write. But it frustrates me to no end that we aren’t given any kind of avenue or tool to control what content comes across our feed.

Also, anon, thank you for sharing this. I know it takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and share personal things about yourself, particularly when it centers around identity and/or traumatic experiences. Not to mention sharing this online, on a public platform/website. I’m really honored that you felt that I was someone you could share this with. 

P.S. I’m going to do my best and find some Tendou fluff for you and make a fic rec list after i finish this midterm (I hope you don’t mind if I include some AO3 things as well). There is definitely sfw content out there for Tendou, although recently I’ve noticed it’s been a little sparser than usual. 

[gevejsbvdj]

Fine. Pt 1

Okay. I did NOT want to do this. I don’t want it to look like I’m trying to start something. When I made the announcement post, I thought that would be it. But a lot of you got really angry and reeeeally bitter about it, suspiciously enough. I am actually hoping that after I post this, I get an explanation and an apology. I tried to explain to these people time and time again about how I was hurt by this situation but they refused to listen. So here I am, spelling it the fuck out. Also, this account is dead anyways and i am so tired of keeping this to myself. I can’t do it anymore. 

That’s enough preamble for now, I’ll make more notes at the end. Let’s get onto the “situation” that was the final straw for me and inspired my complete leave. 

For comprehension purposes, this took place in the Crackerbox Palace discord server. 

For a warning, I’m pretty theatrical when stressed. If I joke here I’m sorry. I’m going to hold back on the humor. 

CW: mentions of sexual abuse, pedophilia, racism, and seizures. You have been warned.

It sounds disgustingly simple, but when I joke about this (to myself, because it’s better than crying about it), I say that me having a seizure was the cause of this all. It isn’t really, but- let me explain. 

I was alone, and I was chatting with the people in the server when suddenly- I just felt fucking weird. Initially, I was like “oh what the hell” until I realized that the weird sensation was actually familiar. It’s what people who have seizures call an “aura” or a “ting”, and it’s a numbing, buzzing sensation that’s kind of like an alarm bell that lets your body know what’s about to go down. And I have a habit (you can decide whether it’s good or bad) where I feel like I have to tell anyone around me that I’m going to have a seizure as SOON as I recognize the aura. Well like I said, I was alone. There was no one physically around me that I could tell, but I already had the chat open, fingers on my keyboard, I typed: I think I’m gonna have a seizure. Something like that. And I did. Don’t worry, I’m fine now. The older I get, the less extreme my seizures are for the most part. I got a splitting headache for the next two days, but we’re getting it checked out! This is only context for what happened next. 

After that happened I eventually came to and as soon as my senses were recollected and my memory came back, I felt so embarrassed that I told my friends who I thought were super cool that I had a SEIZURE. But I noticed that Ley and Emma (in their genuine concern) were discussing seizures and how dangerous they could be, and was wondering if I was okay. I was honestly so relieved they weren’t laughing or anything like that. Vulture then responded saying “hey can you censor the word seizure, it’s a trigger.”, and so Ley and Emma did so. I was confused by this because I thought Vulture was saying it’s MY (me, a person who has them regularly) trigger, or that they were saying it was a trigger in general? I soon found out that it was a term on our “blacklist”, which makes sense.

So In our server, we had a channel (the prior mentioned blacklist channel) where people can suggest words and phrases to avoid. Phrases/topics that make you very uncomfortable, triggering, etc. Someone suggested that the name “Zack” be blacklisted because it’s the name of someone that manipulated them. And no, not Zach like me Zach, but Z-A-C-K, you know? Anyways, sometimes the sheltered southerner in me jumps out, and someone asking for that name to be blacklisted rocked my world! Even more so that the admins I worked with were willing to blacklist it. I thought, wait all this time I could have asked you all to blacklist a NAME that upsets me? I didn’t know I could do that. Never have I ever been in an environment where something like a name could be avoided to ensure my comfort. While THAT was what I was thinking, when I went to type it in the chat, it did not come off that way to vulture. Here’s what I said:

Vulture took what I said wrong, which is totally fair. Words fail me as they do everyone else, and looking back, I could have done better in explaining what I felt. I’m not blaming them for the misunderstanding, and I'm not even blaming me that much. It happens, man. But what got to me, was them accusing me of belittling or more so INVALIDATING the trigger. Me, someone actually has seizures, invalidating someone being triggered by them. Okay. Here was my response:

My response was unnecessarily snarky and I am still sorry for that. I thought I got better at thinking before speaking but it’s evident that it’s still something I need to work on. However, like I said I’ve never been one to accept it when someone’s trying to have an attitude with me. And no I’ll be the first to say that Vulture wasn’t explicitly rude to me, but I was gobsmacked that someone was trying to tell me how traumatic seizures are and accused me of invalidating them after I just said that I have them frequently. And that even after I explained what I meant, I was still met with an accusing response. Can you imagine if I went up to a homeless man and said “you have no right to invalidate my trauma with homelessness. I read matchbox girl.” Like okay? Also, yes that mod chat had a history with taking everything I said as aggressive or belligerent, hence my telling them to stop that. I was always met with a dismissive and antagonistic response. Remember that. I will get back to that. 

Because of Vulture’s immature response, I removed them as chat admin. Do I regret it? Halfway, yes. I should have pulled them to the side and spoke with them about what they did. But looking back on that, after seeing the things they’ve posted today? It’s probably for the best that they weren’t a part of the admin team. 

Andy (also known as shadowylemon here) and Cody are partners who also helped me run the server. They were admins,obviously. Andy asked me why I removed Vulture as Admin. I explained to him why, very civilly with the help of one of my friends because my response almost WASN'T. And to be frank, I ignored most of what he said because again I was being made to be the evil villain and I wasn’t being heard. So I ignored him. Also I was on a call so I wasn’t going to break my brain listening to ten people at once. I was so tired, my seizure happened like only a couple days prior and my head was still affected. 

I mulled over that whole ordeal for a bit until me and my friend (the same friend I mentioned earlier, who helped me with my response to Andy. Lenny. He also helped me mod there and was the original co-founder of the server) came to the conclusion that the mods were too young. We need an age limit. So I told them, like “hey you guys are fine for now but I think that in the future, we should start having the mods be older”.

 At this point I’m super careful with the way I word things. I’m always like that to be honest, as a black (visual-wise, a female) female you learn real quick that you’re the angry one in every situation unless you learn to talk super duper civil. But I didnt think I had to be that way in THAT server, you know? I thought I was safe there. Apparently not. Anyway-

I was met with, again, an aggravated “how dare you” type response from Cody. Which was okay with me, still is. When you work with someone in a group, you’re not going to agree with them all the time. So we were having a pretty civil, short lived back and forth until I mentioned that we tone it down on blacklisting every word. I suggested earlier to blacklist the word “blue” to see how far they would take it and they literally blacklisted it. I didn’t get to say this then, but I’m actually against over censoring, even if it’s supposedly for someone’s mental health. I have ADHD, RSD, on the damn spectrum, all that good stuff, so don’t come for me. But if you’re wanting to avoid words like blue, or a very common name, that is not my responsibility. That is your therapist. The server had people in there who- well English wasn’t their first language, and adding more barriers to their language is, I feel, very inconsiderate.

 Cody started to threaten to delete the blacklisting channel all together and was acting really panicky. AGAIN (if I can find the screenshots, I will share) I was met with a very victimizing, whiny response. Like come on now. I told them to please do not make me the aggressor or I will leave.

No response. 

So the rest of us were just getting ready to start a call and play some games until we noticed something. 

Channels, titles and colors, and nearly everything was being deleted. 

By who? Andy and Cody. This is just one screenshot. I wouldn’t include what’s over ten i have saved on my phone.

I was afraid that they got hacked and was being made to delete them. Until I thought “wait...it’s funny how they’re the only mods that are being ‘hacked’ while the rest of us were left alone. RIGHT after I just had a disagreement with them. Oh my god is this a tantrum.” The server then echoed my concerns. Please don’t be a tantrum. We noticed they left and so I dmed Andy. I said “Why” and he blocked me. That confirmed that it was indeed a tantrum. A tantrum because I IMPLIED that they were being micro aggressive towards me. Alright. 

Me and the server joined a sort of conference call where we discussed what happened and they asked me questions as well as talked about what our next move was. At the time, I thought I was being dramatic because my breathing was super labored, and my face was super hot, and my heart was pounding. I was furious. There was a tiny voice telling me that ‘hey, you’re mad because after you told them that you were uncomfortable and upset with them treating you like an unhinged angry person, they did all this shit’ but I ignored it. 

That is a common theme with me. I know a lot of you think I’m using my race as a weapon and that I call everything racist, but I HATE calling things racial discrimination for that exact reason. I don’t wanna look sensitive, or get called a snowflake. I honestly used to be a self-loathing black person, and you could hurl slurs at my face and I’ll excuse it. My friend group in the 9th grade was mainly racist white people. I’m so glad I grew out of that nonsense but damn some of that toxic mentality stuck with me to the point I never wanted to acknowledge when someone was biased against me. 

I mean, how could it be any more clear? Do I think that Andy and Cody are racist? Of. Course. Not. I think that’s why a lot of you got so mad at me when you realized that what you did was microaggressions rooted in racial bias. Because you thought I was calling you a RACIST.  I’ve had white people who will march with me during protests say and some really off-putting shit the next day. You can be an ally and make mistakes. You’re not perfect. I’m not perfect. None of us is. You have to allow yourself to make errors, and be confronted. Running away cursing and kicking rocks just tells me that you don’t want to listen to black people. 

But anyway, we attempted to move on from the childish ordeal and I enlisted the help of new people to help me mod since we were short two, and could have used the help anyway. 

We were doing alright, really. One day, though, Joane messaged me saying that Vulture wanted to apologize and wanted to talk. And I was like great now's the perfect time to talk to them like I should have the first time, but wrongly didn’t. So I told Joane to dm me. 

Well, Joane sent me a screenshot of some of hers and Vultures conversation.

As you can see I initially did feel willing to apologize and speak to vulture. Because like I said earlier, my snarky response was UNNECESSARY. However, Joane joining in the discussion with her “I can’t understand him which frustrates me lmao” peeved me. As did Vulture acting like I’m unhinged. While I didn’t need to make the “imma blacklist lmao and lol since it bothers you so much” comment at ALL, it wasn’t that deep….at all. Vulture has a habit of virtue signalling too. Their comment “I’m patient and forgiving” is an example. 

While I was annoyed initially, I soon felt pretty hurt that Joane would say that about me behind my back? It made me wonder if there was more she didn’t show me. Joane was a really good friend and I loved her a lot so I was extra sensitive about it. I’ve never spoken ill about her behind her back. 

Now, this is a recurring theme in this post but let me say now: I am aware that no one is OBLIGATED to treat me a certain way because I was nice to them. Of course not. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt? Talking negatively about someone isn’t a problem, but having them think you’re their friend while doing so is. You know? It’s very deceiving, but in Joane’s case, only slightly deceiving. 

So I just didn’t speak to her for a bit. I was already annoyed at having to re-build my server because of a couple of teenagers having a tantrum, as well as things that were happening in my personal life. Also, the news was no damn help at all, you all know. But I didn’t speak to her for the rest of the day and I...I hated it haha. I don’t like avoiding people when I’m frustrated, and after I saw what happened with Vulture when I did the same thing, I should know better. Plus I felt bad. Joane was still a friend, and I wanted to get to the bottom of things. 

I’m not going to include every little screenshot and whatnot, but I messaged her like hey what’s up let’s finish our discussion. Because I thought that at that point, I had my head screwed on a bit better. 

During our discussion, I eventually showed Joane me and vultures conversation, and she acted astonished that Vulture didn’t show her all the context, and even said that they were being irrational. This was after I told her that after everything Andy and Cody did, they made a server with Vulture to which she informed me that she was aware, and she was invited. Honestly, at the time I didn’t think vulture was being irrational. While I said it’s no excuse, PTSD can make us say and do pretty wild things, and calling someone like that irrational feel like ableist language. 

So me and Joane had a little moment. I apologized to her, and she apologized to me.

I was sure that after we both had our respective breaks, that we would be good to continue our friendship like normal. Just a bump in the road. It happens

That was until I got a certain anon from Vulture. 

She asked me why we were done, but when I went to ask her “what in the world did you say to them” she blocked me.

Sorry I keep showing me messaging them, I just don’t wanna get lied to or something again. 

I was really sad about that. I went to bed, and when I woke up, I was still sad. Joane was telling me one thing, and Vulture another thing. She was changing her opinion on a person depending on who she was talking to. It was dizzying and disingenuous and I didn’t even get to talk it out with her because she blocked me. Which was really suspicious. She told me that she would be taking a break from the server and that she still respected me as a friend, but went to vulture and told them that I treated her like SHIT, or at least acted enough like a victim to make them accuse me of that. I’m sorry, but where in the world did I do that? If me confessing to someone that they hurt me is the same thing as treating them like shit, then fuck man a lot of us are assholes. 

Wow, look at me treat her like shit. Absolute garbage right?

I wasn’t even being completely honest to Joane about my feelings for that reason. Because of accusations like this. Another instance of someone taking literally me being normal and civil as being AGGRESSIVE. Vulture, I’m sorry for accusing you of utilizing white girl tears. I accused the wrong person. But that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. 

I went to our #vent channel on the server and told whoever was online and whoever was listening about the whole ordeal, and how HURT I felt because I was literally played by this girl. And I was accused of basically being abusive. Treated her like shit? Cmon man…

But another user in the server, as it turns out, had a similar experience with Joane, and provide in-depth screenshots. Which made me even madder, so we kept venting about the situation. 

Also, because of a couple of dms, and because the more I ranted, the more pained I got, I felt compelled to say the following, NOW LISTEN CLOSELY:

I first prefaced my concerns by saying “I AM BY NO MEANS CALLING JOANE A GROOMER”. That was fucking useless of me to say because- okay I’m getting ahead of myself. 

So I was saying (and in hindsight, I shouldn’t have. I know. But like I said, it was in the heat of the moment and I got a dm that made me feel bad) that it was strange how as soon as someone young and innocent was present, Joane would cling to them in an obsessive way. I’m not the only one who noticed that, and even one of the younger users in question agreed to my statement. 

Listen fucking closely. I don’t think Joane is a sexual predator at ALL. That’s why I had that warning before I said anything in the chat. I do, though, think that if you’re a grown adult and you’re obsessed with being friends with people who are as young as 14, that it’s concerning, not in a sexual way, but in a power dynamic way. I’m only 19 and I honestly don’t get older people who become besties with much younger people. I was “friends” with the users as well, but I was a mentor/brother/dad more than anything. Do you understand? When I was 15, I’ve had people who were 20 and older become my friend and dump their adult problems onto me, as well as expect adult reactions and responses out of me. It was stressful and damaging and I did not want that happening to anyone else, especially the younger people in the chat. Okay? Okay. 

That being said, my protectiveness is a major flaw of mine. Oh my god, do I take it too far sometimes, man. I didn’t want really young teenagers (13-16) to have a serious relationship with an adult because of what happened to me, and I didn’t want Joane to play and hurt anyone else the way she did me and my other friend. So I went into the announcements channel and told the users to read what we’ve been saying in regard to Joane and come up with your own decision. I did not have to do that, I can sit here and say that the things that transpired the past few days really took a toll on me whatever blah blah blah. But I could have kept it in vent, really. And the dumb thing is, that before I sent that message in announcements, I was literally telling myself that THIS is a bad idea. GOD, Zach. But I was at work, it was the last day before holidays started, and I was feeling super protective and I wasn’t thinking and- well yeah. 

During all of this, I was having a conversation with vulture in Tumblr dms. I gathered the courage to finally dm them after receiving the anon. That conversation was on my old Tumblr, so I don’t have a screenshot of the key points, but I typed my starting message in notes, and this is what I said:

“Hi vulture. I don’t want to be here for long but I just wanna ask: why? You accused me of invalidating a trigger and even after I told you that’s not what I meant you still went off on me? You’re mad at me about an inaccurate perception and it really upset me. I’ve been terrified of talking to you specifically because I’ve been dealing with micro aggressions from you, Andy, and Cody and it’s really been wearing me down. And when I told Andy and Cody about their treatment of me, they deleted shit from my server and leave? How do you think that makes me feel as a black person? Makes me never want to talk about my feelings ever again out of the fear of being antagonized. I’m sorry I was snarky towards you, if you didn’t like my remark about “lmao” and “lol”. I agree it was immature. But don’t forget you came at me first. If you’re willing to further discuss this with me then great, which I am sure you are seeing that you asked me to on anon. I finally gathered the courage to contact you so let’s do this.”

We had a brief conversation. Vulture dismissing my microaggressions concerns but really- it happens so much that at that point I was so numb to it. Also a little bit “it’s not about your race. Remember when I…” more virtue signalling. Bleh. But after all, I did thank them for actually wanting to talk to me. Andy didn’t wanna do it. Cody didn’t wanna do it. Joane didn’t want to. Vulture did. And I appreciate that to this day, after everything. I can always admire that about someone. 

It ended prematurely because of me. I was at work and got distracted by that as well as by what happened in the server next. 

Emma sent a pretty long message basically calling all of us out for “bullying Joane” and talking ill of her behind her back, as well as announcing that she would be leaving the server and that we should all be ashamed of ourselves. This was right after someone confessed that Joane made him feel uncomfortable with constant flirting. I admitted that I should not have put the message In announcements, but guys.

I went off. I couldn’t hold back anymore. I was sick of trying to be docile and sweet. I didn’t care if I would be portrayed as the angry black again I DID NOT CARE. Bullying Joane? Me talking about how she hurt me is bullying? Let’s look up what that means. 

Yeah okay. That’s incorrect usage, right? I didn’t even call Joane names. I didn’t persistently harass her. I spoke about what she did to me in distaste, but I was done with her as a friend at that point, and she knew that, so was not going behind her back. I wasn’t being predatory towards her. And I definitely wasn’t being AGGRESSIVE or BLUSTERING. Emma was using broad pronouns and terms (you guys, you all, etc) but I knew she was talking about me, as I was the most prominent in my venting about Joane due to my situation with her happening just yesterday. I sent the most messages, I- while wrong in doing so- posted the announcements. That message primarily was directed towards me. When I say that microaggressions tear you down, it tears you THE FUCK down. 

That being said, I did cuss Emma out (she wasn’t present when I went off, but still) and cussed out everyone who agreed with her. I was so blinded by rage and hurt I don’t even remember at all what I said. One line that sticks out to me though is “y’all saw a white girl crying and thought oh man we can’t have that” and that’s a mantra I’ve repeated a couple of times when I find myself in scenarios such as this one. 

But- I do regret going off like that. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t justified slightly, though. I don’t expect any of you to understand completely what I went through, but please try. I regret going off like that, though. And I’m sorry. 

I guess I was also upset because I was JUST in a good mood? I was literally singing to myself all happy and shit, but Emma’s inconsiderate message threw me off. It’s making me even more upset now that I know why she said that. She wasn’t the only person to tell me I should be ashamed of myself for manipulating (yes, MANIPULATING) Joane. 

I dmed Emma in an attempt to fix things, but i gave up quickly. I was too raw with emotions anyways. So I mournfully told her that we probably should’t be friends anymore, to which she responded

Carelessly?...ouch.

From the moment Joane dmed me about Vulture, and the moment Emma sent that message, all of that transpired within three days. Three fucking days and THAT much happened. It was taking a toll on me, that’s not even counting Andy and Cody’s tantrum. 

I was in a dark place, still am. I made a post saying that I was going to take a break from Tumblr and then made one saying that I was going to kill myself in the tags. Not exclusively because of all this, of course. So. Much. Bullshit. Happens to me on a daily basis. Abusive parents. Sexual assault. Racism that’s actually violent. Dying relatives. So much. I’m crying as I type this it’s just so much. In real life, I have no friends. Not even fake acquaintances. Yes, I cut off all those people because they were extremely toxic, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have literally no one. That server was my escape. Parents fighting? Open discord. Mental spiral? Discord is there. Just had a seizure? Don’t worry, you have friends. And now I don’t. And all because of some dumb shit that wouldn’t probably have happened if two kids didn’t get mad at ME because THEY were ignorant. I know it’s not good to rely on a server to improve your mental health, but I couldn’t help it. I was desperate. And I really did think so highly of everyone in that chat. I loved them.

I received a couple asks that night saying that I don’t have to hurt myself, I’m loved, all that. Very kind messages. And right when I was going to delete the post (I was so embarrassed for posting it), I got a message from ley that read something like “I don’t agree with what you said at ALL but that doesn’t mean I want you to kill yourself or leave” something along those lines. I thought, really? You couldn’t just say you didn’t want me to leave and have it at that? 

I really don’t want to make it seem like I posted something so graphic for attention, man. I can’t stand that manipulation tactic and I don’t want that harmful stigma about suicidal people to be encouraged. 

But Ley’s message threw me off. Agree with what I...huh? Then it pissed me off

So I deleted my account. And fell off the face of the earth for 15 days. 

[bayside-smoking-blues]

I wanna say some things bc I’ve been mad about this subject for a while now. It’s not only about HypMic’s fandom, but about fandoms in general. Tho the amount of shit I’ve seen in the HypMic fandom has only been growing with time so I guess it’s time I position myself more clearly (as if it wasn’t clear enough where I stand lol). I’m sure I’ll get a lot of unfollows but guess what: I don’t care.

Some time ago on twitter a person who was very well known in the fandom was harassed out of it because they had LEFT KUDOS IN A “PROBLEMATIC” SHIP FANFIC. They were harassed to no end and accused of shit they never did and of liking things they didn’t even like BECAUSE SOMEONE FOUND THEIR USERNAME LISTED IN THE KUDOS LIST OF A FANFIC. They had so much shit thrown at them that they ended up deleting their account and leaving the fandom. Like, what the FUCK is wrong with you all? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO JUDGE SOMEONE’S ENTIRE CHARACTER BASED ON WHAT THEY SHIP IN FICTION? YOU’RE A NOBODY, THAT’S WHO YOU ARE.

In another fandom I’m in, a person almost commited SUICIDE because they were harrassed bc of the art they drew and the ships they liked.

So let’s start by saying: this blog is a safe space for SHIPPERS, or, if you wanna call them (us!!) that, anti-antis.

So, you ship JyuJiro? Come here, pal, let’s be bffs rn, I love JyuJiro, as you all already should know.

You ship BBcest? That’s not my cup of tea so I don’t reblog/post about it, but I really do not care if you like it! We can be friends too!

You ship HitoJyushi? Also not my thing, but nice!!

You ship RioSabu in a non-unrequited way? That’s fine! I’m not into it bc it makes me personally uncomfortable since I can’t disconnect Saburo from his canon age, but that’s my problem. I won’t crucify you for being able to!

You ship Rei with Ichiro? I find that disgusting and if we’re mutuals I’d rather if you tagged it so I could blacklist it, but you’re not commiting a crime by shipping two bunches of pixels together so I’ll also not hate on you for that.

You ship literally anything in this godforsaken fandom? Go for it, my friend, it’s none of my business to begin with. lmao

I just DON’T CARE about what people like IN FICTION. I DON’T CARE. 

Of course, I’m bothered by shotacon/lolicon bc those are actual depiction of children and I’m very uncomfortable with CHILDISH BODIES being sexualized even if they’re just anime. But if you’re into shota/loli due to coping with past abuse (that I will not, in any circunstance, force you to disclose to me bc that’s a very personal matter that no one has the right to make you expose against your will) I won’t hold that against you, even if I’d rather avoid you bc the content you share makes me really uncomfortable. But yeah, this is the only “exception” in my “like what you like in fiction and that’s okay” list,

I’M TIRED of seeing people being harassed because of ships. FUCKING TIRED. NO ONE is committing a crime by shipping fictional characters, even if you dislike it, even if it makes you uncomfortable, hell, even if it triggers you. Here’s a thing: even if you project your abuse onto a specific ship or character, that’s only you. That’s your view. Your experience isn’t universal and everyone will not see your abuse in a ship because they don’t even know you. They will just see a ship that they will choose (or not) to see whatever they want in said ship. As long as the content is properly tagged, the person sharing it is already doing their “job”.

I’m sorry to break this for you but the entire fandom is not, and it doesn’t have to be, anyone’s safe space. EVERYONE has the right to be in fandom, including people who ship things you don’t like, and they have the right to share their content. Again, if it’s properly TAGGED. Create your own safe space, use the blacklist functions, mute words on twitter, mute or block accounts, the tools are all there, USE THEM.

So, if you’re an anti, a fanpol, a fancop, a fucking FANDOM POLICE, do us both a favor and get the fuck outta my blog. You’re not welcome here.

I guess that’s all. If you have any questions feel free to ask me. If you have any hate to send me I have a collection of anime and meme reaction pictures I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to use so feel free to send me too.

[ebonyheartnet]

#We Are Singing In The Dark Times

Okay everyone, get hype because it’s go time!

Quick recap for folks who’ve missed me talking about this: I’m recording the vocals of a few of my original songs, and folks can unlock them for everyone to donating to some type of mutual aid or good cause! At this time, I will also be counting donations to a GoFundMe campaign if it’s to help someone in need, as in, “I need this money for health and safety,” not, “I want to do a fun thing but it has a strict deadline”.

Now that that’s out of the way, here’s how you play! :D

Below are the tracks I have already ready to be released on my SoundCloud, Ebonyheartnet, and the way they’re listed is “Title | Favorite Lyric | Content Warning” If you think you might like one of them, DM a screenshot of your donation to my sideblog, @wearesinginginthedarktimes and I’ll be happy to let you pick your song [1], along with whether you’d want to be anonymous or get a shout out for being awesome!

She Makes Me Hungry | “Blades dancing through the air/ To carry her away” | N/A

The Devil I Know | “But that doesn’t mean/ I’m not shooting for the moon” | N/A

I Don’t Wanna Hear You Crying | “Let the snow fall if it has to/ And I’ll warm It Into Rain” | N/A

Asylum Seekers Run | “I’m chipping at the mortar/ I’m pulling brick by brick” | Southern border crisis, family separation, blood mention, literally 1 f-bomb

The tags to follow for updates are “#We Are Singing In The Dark Times” for bigger updates and, “#Charity Games 2020” will be what I try to tag all the smaller ones/hype so that folks can blacklist it to avoid being overwhelmed. Come have some fun and make a difference guys, we can do this! XD

Original Posting Date: 3/31/2020, 10:00 PM EST

[1] If you have triggers that people don’t usually consider, feel free to mention them with proof of donation and I’ll let you know if that pops up in the song you’re considering, because this is supposed to be a good thing for everyone. :3

Edit: it’s 4/1/2020, 12:50 AM, aND WE HAVE THE FIRST SONG UNLOCKED, SEARCHABLE IN THE TAG FOR THIS CHARITY GAME! XD

Edit: it’s 4/6/2020, 2:45 PM EST and this event is still ongoing! Come on folks, I wanna see the other 3 songs released so I can start round 2!

[orionsangel86]

Hi. I've seen you reposting art by thefriendlypigeon. Just wanted to tell you that she draws explicit in*est and refuses to put a trigger warning on it. She's also besties with Magdalena, Latizze other Misha haters. She also ships Sam/Jack and said that she wants to draw smut of Jack offering himself to Dean and Cas on Father's Day. Now Kelios uses this as an excuse to claim that Destiel shippers are into ped* stuff. When Friendlypigeon is a win*est shipper and has been for a long time.

Hi. I need to state that I hate getting asks like this because I have been involved in the fandom policing thing and its utter bullshit. No one involved is righteous or “doing the right thing” regardless of what they think. Fandom policing is wrong and I have absolutely no desire to involve myself in it. Therefore I would prefer to not be dragged into any fandom wank or wars between fan factions.

I reblogged (not reposted as I don’t condone reposting others creations) a piece of art work of Dean and Cas because I considered the artwork beautiful and well done. I do not know the artist, but the art itself was wonderful. Should we really be condemning all art based on the shortcomings of its creators? This is a bigger conversation than anything within SPN fandom and frankly I’m not interested in diving into those murky waters right now.

I will just say this. I absolutely do not in any way endorse the likes of Magda, Latizze, Kamidox, Vinnie or Kelios. They are nasty, cruel, hate filled people worthy of nothing but our pity. They are best left ignored to wallow in their own hatred. I have far better things to do than concern myself with those sad individuals. If the artist in question interacts with them, then I only hope that they don’t get dragged into the hatred those vile individuals radiate. Anyone who involves themselves with such pure forms of hatred is in for a bad time. As someone who has experienced first hand the more hateful side of Destiel fandom, I know what happens when you get too close to people filled with hate. Don’t concern yourself with whatever bullshit Kelios and her cronies are currently focusing on. No one takes those idiots seriously. Block them, and move on with your life.

As far as wincest art goes, I quite obviously can’t stomach it. I have the very word “wincest” blacklisted and blocked across all social media. But I know plenty of people who are multishippers who are into it. Each to their own. So long as they aren’t pushing for incest to be mainstream, canon, or normalised in society, then I honestly don’t care what other people get up to in the privacy of their own bedrooms. I haven’t ever heard of anyone shipping Sam and Jack, or Jack with Dean and Cas *shudder*. That to me is just as disturbing as incest. I don’t understand it and don’t intend to even try to understand it either. By me reblogging the destiel art of one artist, that does not mean that I support everything else that artist might say or create.

I’m not gonna start some all out attack on people who are into fucked up shit. Because nothing I personally say or do is going to change that, and frankly, I came back to tumblr for a peaceful time away from the fandom wars of Twitter. I’m not interesting in attacking anybody. I block and move on. This particular artist has never done anything to offend me, and I have never seen offensive art by them. I’m not gonna stop reblogging beautiful works of theirs I find just because of one anonymous message either.

There are lots of messed up things in this world, but if we dwell too much on what others are doing we will only end up corrupting ourselves. My suggestion nonny is that you block this artist and blacklist their name. By blacklisting a persons url you are effectively removing them completely from your tumblr experience even if others you follow reblog their work. I have to do this with a well known destiel artist that is always being reblogged by people I follow for my own particular reasons - nothing against the artist themselves, just their artwork makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want to see it.

I’m not sure what you expected by sending me this message, whether you wanted me to publicly condemn this artist, delete my reblog of their work and tell all my followers to immediately unfollow them or whatever, but I’m not going to do that. Sorry to disappoint you if that is the case, I’m just not interested in the constant wars and drama of SPN fandom anymore. I just wanna reblog cute pics of Dean and Cas kissing whenever I can, and enjoy my remaining time in fandom whilst it lasts. Follow whoever you want to follow, reblog whoever you wanna reblog from, ideally tag accordingly as courtesy for peoples blacklists, and utilise the block button as often as you can. Above all things, be kind to others, and practice self care on yourself. If you don’t like something, remove it from your online life, and please consider why you might be going to other bloggers to “tell” on people you don’t like. All it does is cause more unnecessary negativity.

[grizztheexplorer]

Ep 5 Love Victor live reaction:

- what do you mean you don’t understand a Madonna reference how old am I??

- girl they hate u bc u are cheater I think u are gonna have to at least try getting along with the in laws💀 like starting a fight over it is not it💀🌚

- I hate that Victor has to do shit he clearly doesn’t want to do to turn off the fires in his family. People (THE PARENTS) need to start actually listening to their kids and not just want they wanna hear

- she said piñata for a 16 year old😭 ma’am piñatas are until ur 14 year old bday and then never again until like 18 or up ONLY when everyone else is drunk at the party and the piñatas turn ironic. Thats the rule.

- omg Lake invited Benji!!! Let Victor have one break from his gay breakdown omg (but also yesss)

- “he’s a very macho boy” [squeals] ajdjdjdjd i loved that😭😭

-omg Pilar stfu???? Sjdjjddjdj i love the family drama but let it stay in the fam not with in laws that already hate ur mom

- ik they were gonna be homophobic but jesus christ💀 let the little kid play with the damn wand fuck

- Mia!!! Looks!!! So good with the hair half up and blue eyeliner!!!!!!!! Fuck it up girl!!!!!

- they need to stop watching soccer if the guests come

- omg Mia JUST arrived and i am now realizing grandpa could be racist too fuckkkkk

- omg they are not god bless

- aah :(((( that dad is so happy bc he had a girlfriend 😭😭

- omg the mom is gonna hate the girlfriend?? She’s been so rude what a boring cliché. Bitch you cheated and have a bad relationship bc grandma is a bitch. U planning on continuing the tradition?? Even if shit is bad bc if u?? THE LEAST U CAN DO IS BE NICE💀

- follow him around with google translate LMAOOOO

- 😭😭😭 i only like the kids in the family I don’t really like the parents or grandparents someone save Benji and his bf they aren’t there yet but I don’t want them there

- its been a sec and i hate the bf omg rip. Him and Benji have interacted so little but god the actors!!!!! They have this eye contact thats so good!!!! The actor who plays Victor totally has chemistry with Mia and has these cute ass looks but with Benji!!!!!! Is such a loaded look too!!!!!! This actor is killing it!!!!! Is like less dopey and more in trance whenever Benji is around😭 Benji too bitch got a bf but be staring at Victor.

- Victor noooo how u gonna introduce them like that. He should have let them know beforehand of his grandparents. For a friend i would be in a uncomfortable situation but only if they let me know beforehand. Being surprised at the moment and caught off guard is so much more disrespectful (at least in my opinion).

- Benji is pissed and he has every right to but also i wanna die

- I can’t with grandma saying devil music lmaooooo. Thank god my grandma didn’t give a shit about those things even tho she was religious af

- also where is victor going pls don’t make Benji feel worse

- in a way I understand if Benji’s bf is pissed at him for hiding it. On another, this is benji’s FRIEND’S house. Its his family. And he asked a very ride thing last min, but it is better to leave than to flatout make a scene when you were asked to avoid it. I respect Benji for that, bc he 100% didn’t have to but it was the nice thing to do. He would be justified to make a scene or to just leave. But i feel like that should be Benji’s call more than his bf’s and the bf shouldn’t be upset at it. The relationship that can be affected is Benji’s. Its his friend and coworker. While the bf is involved and is disrespectful to him too, the call here isn’t his. And he needs to stand by whatever Benji decides to do, whether that’s cause a scene, leave, or hide for the day.

- Felix is cute. He looks like the Benji from My Babysitter is a Vampire and WHO didn’t have a crush on THAT Benji growing up??? Get him Lake. The Stiles of this world are always worth it.

-Now i stand with the bf tho. If Derek wants to go Benji could talk to Victor and go. I do think is unfair to make Derek stay in a circumstance he wasn’t told beforehand. And Victor’s fam might not necessarily be physically violent, but Derek nor Benji know that. Derek could not only be extremely uncomfortable, possibly triggered, but also might feel in danger. Benji SHOULD understand that and tell Victor they can talk it out later and head out. He just won’t leave bc he is also lowkey crushing on Victor tho.

- shitshitshit they kissing and they saw it. Omg thank fucking god the grandpa didn’t make a scene.

- no omg don’t ask for a word for it?? Is not a big deal jesus fuck. Omg fuck this a “family party” nah just leave.

- yes omg confront them. Hell fucking yeah.

- i love the mom confronting them over her shit too but sjdjdjdj do they know there’s other people in this house💀💀 his girlfriend AND crush and crush’s bf are all there i would die

- not dad pretending like he’s standing up for his fam when he was talking about “is a family party” 3 mins ago. Nah son u blacklisted unfil further notice.

-i really thought Pilar was gonna fuck up and i was about to scream

- aaaaah that’s why shit they do is similar to me. They are colombiannnnn. Made me wonder bc the bendicion thing is something we venezuelans do but never heard cubans, mexicans, or any mainstream latinx family do before. Makes sense, venezuelans and colombians have a lot in common (more than other latinx cultures)

- where the fuck did the kids go to lmao. After all these speeches i would have lowkeu gone too💀💀

-Benji bitch im sorry too I can’t imagine being out into the position he was put on. Even if Victor stood up for him. Benji also most be so confused about Victor bc they def have had moments.

-omg the direct eye contact with the candles these kids are BOLD

- y’all Mia and Victor would have made a power couple if he hadn’t met Benji and salivated for him sjdjdjdj. Once they figure their shit out they are gonna be fucking power friends dude.

- I WAS SO HAPPY THE DAD APOLOGIZED BUT I FUCKING K N E W HE WAS GONNA MAKE A COMMENT ABOUT “at least this fam not gay” BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY HOW MY LATINX MOM WAS BEFORE I CAME OUT WHEN MY BEST FRIEND CAME OUT. SHE WAS FINE WITH IT AND FINE WITH US HAVING SLEEPOVERS AND ALL BC I “wasn’t” ANDJDJD U CAN DO IT VICTOR THEY’LL UNDERSTAND IF THEY AIN’T VIOLENTLY HOMOPHOBIC U GOT ONE FOOT INSIDE THE DOOR MAKE THE STEP BUDDY