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#but if they’re gonna do it i wish they’d do it right
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me looking at the fact that the only disabled characters in the atla la were cast with abled actors (as far as i know):
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it just really hurts to think about how actors who are in wheelchairs, and even actors who are like me (not in wheelchair but still are actually disabled and have trouble walking) feel about this.
like how many disabled actors auditioned and were so excited to finally have a chance and have a roll but some abled guy got cast instead, i don’t even have a wheelchair yet and im upset, i can’t imagine how they feel. (i’m not upset at the actors for this, im upset at the directors and other people in charge of casting people)
i probably shouldn’t have put so much faith in netflix to cast things like this well, but still. i don’t even have the energy to be upset about things like this anymore, im just. tired.
(also if either of these actors are actually physically disabled, please tell me, i really hope i’m wrong)
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bo0zey · 2 years
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my manager has kids:(😕 but i have a new resident doctor crush soooo;)😳
#i knew i didn’t stand a chance !!!!!#also i saw my first pediatric cardiac arrest today#i was okay during the code i was glad i could be helpful i just gave out flushes lol#they didn’t make it but i had a feeling that was gonna be the outcome cuz they were already in rigor mortis when they got to us#the doctor leading the code was the one i’ve recently started talking to more n he’s like rlly friendly w everyone#i wish i knew the difference between someone being nice to me and flirting w me lol#anyways he did really good leading the code as well as the other doctors doing their best n everyone else#he wanted to hold a debriefing w everyone afterwards but i stayed back to clean up the room so when mom say her baby it#wouldn’t be as traumatizing w all the blood snd gastric contents soaked towels and garbage EVERYWHERE#i wish they’d stopped the code sooner the doctor leading the code was the first to point out the baby was in rigor right at the beginning#but obviously cuz it’s a peds case they wanna do everything they can and he literally did EVERYTHING all the code meds u could possibly orde#this stupid lady next to me who had no idea what she was talking abt was like ‘wait i think i see something on the monitor’ n im like bitch?#the baby was literally PEA they’re in fcking rigor mortis stop trying to prolong this horribly aggressive mess just let it end peacefully#baby was asystole throughout the entire code..they couldn’t even intubate him cuz his jaw was clenched so tight#anyways right after everyone agreed w the leading doctor to end it the doc like put both hands on the bed and kinda#bowed his head but i saw the pained look on his face i hope he didn’t blame himself i mean he knew from the start the baby was in rigor and#he asked everyone to give the baby a moment at the end of the code#that’s when they were all gonna go debrief but i stayed behind#anyways my supervisors were asking me if i was ok n i was like yeah bc the baby looked so much more at peace when we readied the room formom#then later the leading code doctor found me and asked if i was okay and i said was fine..i felt better knowing he was already gone before#he got to the hospital and was in literal rigor mortis with a rectal temp of 94 deg F#but i didn’t want to seem too heartless bc i could tell the code had upset him and he was talking in a more quietly#concercdndd voice like he’s usually always loud and joking around like me so :( and the fact that he stopped to talk w me privately n was#genuinely wanting to know if i was okay made me ;-; cuz im not used to being comforted?? or having my emotions validated#i was like ‘yeah im fine now haha it might all hit me later when im driving home alone at the end of the shift lol’#n he gave me a pat on the shoulder n said i did a good job ;—;#ngl i always thought he was kinda cute but i only just started talking n working w him on pts tuesday n i think he likes me????#idk bc he’s friendly n easy to get along w everyone AS AM I but idk we talked 1-1 before n i got a Vibe 😳 from him#but anyways then i got home n had pasta n talked to my fam abt my day and told them i had my first peds cardiac arrest#then all of a sudden something in me switch??i felt myself stiffen n my eyes started watering so i went to my room n ended up crying 4 20min
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vagueiish · 6 months
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i don’t wanna have to be the one to reach out to people i think are cool to maybe try and strike up a friendship
i want people to look at me and be like ‘aw, yeah, that dweeb is pretty rad, actually, i wanna be their friend’ and then actually talk to me and then become friends with me
#it’s about the validation you see#it’s about me being worth something in the eyes of others and them wanting me around for me#not even in a bad mood rn. feeling p okay#just……lonely? i guess?#there are people i wanna be friends with but like….idk. if they actually wanted to be friends with me they’d reach out right?#it doesn’t count t if im the one to do it. then there’s a good chance they’re just humoring me or pitying me too much to be like ‘piss off’#but if they make the first move? that means i’m Somebody#though it’s not like i’d know what to do if anyone *was* like ‘bro you’re rad as hell’#other than nod silently and stare like o_o#so i guess im doomed to be a lonely emo kid forever……#someone once told me i have a skewed perception of myself but idk. if that were true….#i wouldn’t merely be tolerated#people would want me around. right?#i wouldn’t have to be the one to reach out.#but i am. and that’s kinda sad. in a pathetic way. yknow?#though i suppose this is kind of selfish….#im not even gonna entertain the idea that people actually look at me like ‘golly i sure wish they were *my* friend’#and secretly admire me but are too shy or scared or whatever to reach out#my imagination isn’t a bloody contortionist#i know im not so amazing as to have silent admirers#but i also know i kind of suck at talking irl so maybe my inability to respond like a human makes it seem like i despise the interaction#rather than the truth that i suck at talking. maybe people have tried and im just too big a dingus to realize#…#but i doubt it lol#to the void with love
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nanaslutt · 4 months
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welcome to my 2nd smau mlist!! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა
౨ৎ feel free to send an ask to my inbox if u have an idea for a smau (no suggestive prompts for under 18 characters) ౨ৎ
jjk smaus
✿ waiting outside the car for their boner to go down
✿ asking them if they can feel ur 😽 twitch when you sit on them
✿ gun to ur head me or —
✿ posting a thirst trap online that only they can see
✿ telling them you’re ready to try oral
✿ accidentally liking a photo of theirs
✿ telling them ur parents wanna meet them
✿ their reactions to you packing their lunch
✿ them being jealous over ur shitty boyfriend
✿ asking them to join you in the shower
✿ leaving them money after a 1 night stand
✿ calling them bro
✿ their reactions to your weird cravings
✿ sending them ur location bcs they’re taking too long to come over
✿ wearing their clothes
✿ asking to workout with them
✿ when you fall asleep in the middle of sex
✿ asking them to be rougher in bed
✿ recreating a sex scene from a book
✿ when you take a nap and they think you’re ignoring them
✿ asking them how often they jerk off
✿ flashing them and running away
✿ asking them to help you pick out an outfit but the last option is a nude
✿ asking to paint their nails
✿ asking if they’ve ever sent ur nudes to anyone
✿ “i need a hug”
✿ telling them “you have a pretty face, you should let me sit on it”
✿ telling them “you could’ve been nicer to me today”
✿ their reactions to ur teenager telling you to shut up
✿ “hey bitch what’s for dinner”
✿ having a wet dream about them
✿ their reaction to you leaving a toothbrush at their house
✿ when they’re sick and whiny
✿ asking them if they would cheat on you to save your life
✿ txting them “i expect my dinner to be ready be the time i get home
✿ slamming the door really hard prank
✿ telling them a guy friend is gonna fix ur pipes/car
✿ catching them fall on the ring camera
✿ telling them you got in a fight and need them to fight their boyfriend
✿ how they act when you’re sick
✿ them jealous over ur new pet
✿ asking them for help when ur tampon string breaks
✿ asking them what the weirdest thing they stuck their dick in is
✿ when you reject their cooking
✿ them obsessed with ur pet
✿ asking them if they’d help you hide a body
✿ going into labor while they’re at work
✿ asking them what size condoms to get
✿ them texting you after you die
✿ asking if they’d suck dick to save their life
✿ putting a dirty note in their lunch
✿ when they fall asleep right after sex
✿ telling them u wanna try deepthroating for the first time
✿ asking them to say ur name while they do pushups
✿ them asking “what did i do to deserve you?”
✿ asking what their rice purity score is
✿ sending them an ultrasound to tell them you’re pregnant
✿ asking them if you can take control in bed
✿ not saying i love you back prank
✿ asking what they want for your anniversary
✿ asking if they know where ur phone is when ur on it
✿ putting them on a sex ban
✿ telling them ur not wearing any panties in public
✿ showing off ur new nails by cupping ur tits
✿ doing their makeup while they sleep
✿ “hey handsome/beautiful, those tits sure look heavy…”
✿ jumping out of a car in the middle of an argument
✿ telling them you’re nervous for your first date
✿ wearing pheromone perfume around them
✿ them watching you though the house cameras
✿ telling them no to sex because you haven’t shaved
✿ “I wish you lasted half as long as it takes you to text me back”
✿ when you laugh too hard at someone else’s joke
✿ the jjk characters as ur sugar daddy/mommy
✿ period madness
✿ asking if they’ve tried their own cum
✿ when you’re their sugar mommy
✿ asking to tie a bow around their bicep
✿ when they check your location and see you’re in another country
✿ when you give a creep their number instead of yours
✿ telling them they have grey hairs
✿ asking them to chase you with a ghost face costume on
✿ asking them if you can take sex slow
✿ asking if they can put you as their emergency contact
✿ seeing them across the room with a hard-on
✿ asking how they feel about you starting an onlyfans
✿ watching you perform
✿ telling them you’re going to bed without panties
✿ sending a video of your baby kicking
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moonstruckme · 25 days
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hi my love i’m obsessed with all your works and this is my first request!
poly! marauders and cuteness aggression. like maybe reader coming home a bit tipsy from girls night and just seeing her boys and losing it. grabbing remus’ face and just kissing all over his cheeks, gnawing on james’ biceps and playing with sirius’ hair or tracing his tattoos.
Hi lovely, thank you for requesting!
cw: alcohol
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 589 words
You leave a trail of things down the hallway that you swear you’ll pick up in the morning. Your bag, both shoes, your jacket. There’s no time to put any of it in its proper place, not when you know your boyfriends are all cozy and waiting for you in your bed. Everything else is secondary. 
The moment you get your eyes on them, it’s already too much. Remus is reading while Sirius chats to a nearly-asleep James, and you don’t know whether to scream or hug them or burst into tears. One feels more socially acceptable than the rest. 
A grin spreads over Sirius’ face as you crawl clumsily up the bed, so you go to him first. 
“Hi, baby.” You smear a kiss over his lips, burrowing your hands in his lovely, silken hair. It smells like his conditioner, smokey and heady and just slightly sweet. You wish you could snort it up into your nose like a drug. 
“Hi, baby,” Sirius says back at you, amused. “Did you have a good night?” 
“No,” you lament, though you think you might have enjoyed it at the time. 
Impulsively, you move to Remus, clambering across James to get on your quietest boyfriend’s lap. He’s already set down his book, so there are no barriers to your whims as you take his face between both hands, squishing his cheeks up and kissing them all over. You think you can hear the other boys laughing somewhere beyond your lovesick haze. Remus’ skin grows warmer with each ardent press of your lips. 
“None of you were there,” you go on. It’s impossible to articulate the full extent of this injustice. “You were here, being so lovely and perfect and lovely without me.” 
“That’s lovely twice.” Remus seems to recover somewhat from your surprise attack. His hand comes to rest in the middle of your back, a touch just for touch’s sake. “How much have you had, dove?” 
You make a petulant, whiny sound, burying your face in his neck. There will never be enough of them, your lovely boyfriends. Or maybe it’s that they’re enough, but you just can’t get enough. Regardless. You’re doomed to remain just on the brink of satisfaction. 
“Enough to know that I missed you a lot,” you say pitifully. 
“Awe, babydoll.” James’ laughter is at odds with his compassionate tone. “Come here, m’love.” 
This sounds like a grand idea to you. You wish they’d simply all squish together so you could lay your affections on them one by one, in rounds. 
James puckers his lips as you approach, readying for a kiss, and so is taken entirely aback when you forgo his face entirely. 
“Oh, well,” he says as you suck a hickey on his bicep. “I feel properly objectified.” 
You’re too pleased with yourself to be sorry. He flexes playfully, eliciting a string of giggles from you as you latch on tighter. 
“Do you think she’s been drugged?” you hear Remus ask. 
“Dunno.” James’ tone is fond. His big hand lands on the back of your head. 
“No, I sort of get it,” says Sirius. The mattress dips slightly, and then you feel him plant a wet kiss on your shoulder. “You just need to get it out of your system, yeah, sweetness?” 
You hum in affirmation. You wrap your arms around James’ middle, squeezing tight. 
“I love you so much,” you mumble into his skin. “I’m gonna kill you.” 
Your boyfriend’s frame rumbles with laughter. “Okay, lovie,” he says indulgently. “You go right ahead.”
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hopelesslonelyghost · 5 months
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18+ ghoap x fem!reader
soap with a pretty bird back at home who he facetimes all the time bc they just miss each other so much. they’re so clingy for each other.
you’re always relaxing when you call him. in a t-shirt and sweatpants and are either sitting on the couch with a warm lamp on beside you or laying in bed with only the fairy lights on. you’re always giggling and smiling and making sure to keep your entire face within frame so that johnny can see all of you.
and you know that his lieutenant is always somewhere beside him even if johnny denies it, but you know. because the two of you have spoken about it.
“i showed ghost a pic of you.” he spoke one night after the two of you had finished some…salacious activities.
you immediately lifted your head up from where it was laying on his chest, “which one did you show him?”
“don’t get upset.”
you side-eyed him instantly, “john…” you smacked him lightly, “which oneeee?”
after a bit of pestering, he showed you. it was a mirror pic of you in some oversized sweatpants and a thin tank top. your hair was tied back and you were brushing your teeth. it was a silly pic, one meant only for him.
“oh my god, mactavish I can’t believe you!”
“wai’ bonnie lemme explain.”
you were pretty sure you were bright red, trying to hide your face in your hands, but johnny wasn’t letting you.
gripping your wrists, he pushed them both besides your head, getting between your legs, forcing them open, “he loved it.”
your mouth fell open, “johnny how the fu-! HOW?! I look like shit! my face is greasy and I’m pretty sure I hadn’t showered that day when I sent that picture!”
he chucked and pecked your nose, cheeks, and finally your lips, “you weren’t there to see his face. fuck lass, he was exactly like you are now, ears red and all doe-eyed.”
you felt him hardening again, rubbing up against your already soaked cunt, before slipping in with ease, “gonna bring him home. have him fuck this pretty pussy. show him how much of a good girl you are.”
with that in mind, you sometimes say, and do, some out-of-pocket stuff. one time you were complaining to your boyfriend how the birth control pill was making your tits sore and how much bigger they were getting.
“look!” you turned on your nightlight and faced it, giving your boyfriend, and subsequently ghost, an unfiltered view of your tits through your nightie. the low cut helped accentuate them.
your grin was hidden off camera when you palmed one of them and whined, putting on a show for both men, “they’re so swollen babe. i wish you were here to massage them.”
“steamin’ jezus bonnie.”
you could hear a choked off groan somewhere in the background. bingo.
“you’re coming home soon, right baby?” you moved the camera back to your face, pouting and batting your lashes.
“fuck yes. coming home real soon, I promise.”
and it was sometime past three in the morning when he got home a few days later. you were already sleeping, the heat during the summer nights was enough to have the a/c on blast, and wearing just a cropped tank top and a thong to bed.
the sound of the unit running made it easier for both soap and ghost to make their way to your shared room. there you laid on your side, facing away from the door. thin sheets had been kicked off and were now tangled up around your thighs, your bare ass was in full display. the string of your thong tucked nicely between your perky cheeks.
both men swallowed their groans, soap turning to the taller man and elbowing him softly, “better than a phone call, eh l.t.?”
ghost swallowed roughly, eyes never leaving your moonlit body, “way fuckin’ betta’ sergeant.”
and then both men pounced. they’d both requested extended leave, and they planned on using all of it buried deep inside you.
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reidrum · 1 month
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the prophecy part 2:
poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand | s.r.
A/N: she's arrived! i hope we like this one,,,,.....,,,.,maybe a part 3 what who said that
cw: angst, hurt/comfort no comfort, penelope is a really good friend, fem!reader, spencer's kind of a dick bro
summary: you and spencer deal with the aftermath of cat's words
wc: 3.01k
part 1
_______________________________________________
“I wish I fathered the child,” Spencer starts, JJ can feel her heart tighten, “Because you and I deserve each other, don’t we?”
Cat smirks, “You’re much better at lying now than you were last time at the restaurant, bravo. Better keep the performance up when you have to go explain yourself to your girlfriend later.”
Spencer’s face steels up and he’s trying his damndest to keep his composure, knowing the only way to get the location of his mother is to let Cat think she won the game. But with every mention of you that falls from her poisoned lips, he feels the burn sinking further into his skin when he thinks about what could be going through your head right now.
“Even if you think I’m lying,” Spencer stares at her, trying to push down any emotion on his face, “That’s the secret right?”
Cat is taken aback by his words, almost looking offended and triumphant all together.
JJ watches her eyes well up and dial Lindsey to give her the go signal, when Lindsey learns at the hands of the rest of the team her one sided lover was pregnant with another man’s child, she devastatingly surrenders the bomb controls and Diana Reid.
Spencer slackens knowing his mother was safe with his team, but he’s unable to stop thinking about Cat’s accusation.
“How did you know?” He asks as the guard stands her up to put the handcuffs back on.
“About Maeve?” 
He nods.
“At the restaurant, you were talking about a fake wife,” The guard walks her over to the door where she passes Spencer, only inches apart, “The ring may have been fake, but the way you spoke about her told me that she was real. And I’ve got eyes everywhere, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out you’re different now than when you were with her.”
She pauses then chuckles, “But clearly this genius couldn’t figure it out.”
He feels the temperature rising again but JJ preemptively grabs his forearm before he has a chance to react, “The team has your mom, we’ll go meet them at the BAU.”
Spencer nods curtly and storms out of the room without a second glance at Cat.
————
The elevator doors open and he’s met with the relieving sight of his mother, safe and sound. He embraces her in a big hug while the team dissipates around them giving them a moment. Spencer holds onto his mother for some time, letting his emotions come to surface. The last 24 hours have been the most tumultuous he’s ever experienced—almost dying in prison, getting released, the kidnapping of his mother, and the most wrenching of all, you.
He can’t help but grip onto her like a baby bird refusing to fly. He’s been someone who’s had to grow up way faster than anyone expected, academically and mentally, in order to care for the people in his life when they weren’t able to themselves. It’s led him to questionable decisions with detrimental repercussions, but he’d do it again in a heartbeat if it meant they’d be okay.
Diana pulls away first and wipes the tears from Spencer’s eyes, “Can we go home?” He nods tearfully and pulls his keys out, walking to the elevator to go down to the parking lot. As they’re going down he feels the adrenaline dying down and the reality sink in. He has no idea how he’s gonna fix this—if he can even fix this.
In a taunt from the universe, he hears a text come through on his phone, from you, of course.
You should spend time with your mom and make sure she’s okay. I’m staying at Penelope’s for some time. We can talk later.
He sighs and shuts his phone off, slipping it back into his pocket. You were right, it had been a textbook definition insane 24 hours in his life, and he knew he needed to spend time with his mother in getting her resituated.
——
You and Spencer spent five days apart. Neither of you went into work, for obvious reasons, and all you could do was rot on Penny’s couch, barely eating or drinking enough water, hyper analyzing every intimate moment of your relationship with Spencer to find any clue that he wasn’t fully present with you.
Penelope would come home after her day at the office, bringing you food from your favorite takeout place just the way you like, the way only Spencer knew, and sit with you while you cried.
It nearly killed her seeing you so down, her dear friend who she cared for so much and wished desperately to take away all your suffering. But the empath in her knows that if she’s feeling this bad, she can’t even imagine how Spencer must feel.
She sits with you for twenty minutes in silence, your head in her lap as she strokes your hair before speaking up, “So um, he was able to put his mom back into a sanitarium. With a vetted full time nurse who said he’d get hourly updates from.”
“That’s great, Penny.” you mumble apathetically. A small part of you felt bad, despite what was going on between you and Spencer, Diana was also collateral in a whole different way. You were grateful that she could find some sense of normalcy after all that’s happened. You wondered if that could be you, receiving solace and safety from someone you were supposed to trust.
“He won’t stop asking, sweetie.”
You sigh, “I know, I’m sorry he keeps bugging you.”
She waves you off, “It’s not that. I—I don’t know how to fix this. You guys are my bestest friends, a—and to see Spencer go through wh—what he went through, and then seeing you after what he d—did.” she sniffled.
“Penelope—“
“I’m not trying to be selfish, I swear! I have big emotions you know this. I won’t tell you what to do or what I think you should, because honestly sweetheart I don’t know either,” she tears up more, “But I will tell you the facts, because like that dummy boy, fact dumping reassures me of what’s real. And I need you to remember that when your brain is trying to trick you otherwise.”
You start crying again seeing her all emotional and she puts a hand up, “Let me finish first, or you don’t get the donut I got you.” She laughs tearfully.
You match her laugh and let her continue.
“I only have one fact for you, and you might not like it but it’s the truth, no matter what you think.” she starts, “That boy loves you. Like he would petition the Oxford dictionary to put you under the definition of love, loves you.”
“But—“
“But two things can exist. He loves you dearly, but what he did was fucked up. How you feel is extremely valid. God, my love, I can’t even imagine how you feel. But if and when you go talk to him I just need you to remember that. Okay?”
You sit silently next to her, contemplating everything your brain has been computing the last five days. The spirals, the what ifs, the self doubt—you know logically you won’t get any clarity unless you face your fear, and accept that whatever happens is your predetermined fate.
“Okay.”
“I love you so much. I am always in your corner, and if it comes to it, I know his social.”
“Penny!”
“I’m just saying!” she laughs, “You’re more than welcome to stay as long as you need to, okay?”
You lean forward to hug her, “Thanks.” you mumble. She squeezes you and rubs your back affectionately.
You end up finishing out the week in Penelope’s apartment, using Sunday to deliberate your plan of attack for when you finally see him again. All the questions, insults, and doubt are written down in your notes app to help you organize your thoughts. But there’s no real organization, because what category does this even fall into?
You text Spencer a couple hours before that you’d be willing to talk to him now if he was free, and not even a second later he replies telling you to come over whenever.
The walk to his apartment feels like edging closer to the end of a plank that you willingly got on. The dread presses on you heavier and heavier with every step, and soon enough you’re standing at his door with a boulder on your shoulders.
The soft knocks echo through Spencer’s barren living room, and his head snaps to the door. He’s not sure if he’s mentally prepared for this, but he wipes his eyes and ruffles his hair stressfully and goes to open the door.
It’s like a truck hit him seeing you right in front of him, puffy red eyed and looking so defeated, nothing like the girl he knew.
“Hey,” Spencer breathes out.
“Hi, can I come in?” you reply.
Spencer stands aside to let you in, “Of course, yeah.”
You walk into his apartment, feeling a strange sensation wash over you. The familiarity of his bookshelves and antique chess boards provides you with a comfort you wish you had over the last week. But right now it feels like someone placed barbed wire over it all, enticing you to get closer lest you get hurt.
Spencer stands awkwardly in the door, watching you trek about his apartment before finding a seat on his leather couch. He shuts the door and sits in the adjacent arm chair, not knowing if you’d be okay with him even sitting on the same couch as you.
You clear your throat, “How’s your mom?”
“She’s good, she’s settled in the sanitarium.” he says with a slight tone of relief you knew he hadn’t had in weeks.
“Good, good,” you trail off and avoid his eyes, “Um, so obviously, I came because we need to…talk.” Spencer nods and waits for you to continue.
“I don’t even know how to start. But, I am hurt. I don’t know how to process this, or even get to the root of this.”
“Cat was lying.”
“No, she wasn’t.”
He furrows his brows, “Yes, she was. She lies about everything, that’s her game.”
You avoid his eyes, “No Spencer, that’s just what you want to tell yourself.”
“Baby—“
“You don’t get to call me that right now.”
That hits him bad. He takes a moment to take in your appearance, how you’re picking at your skin, repeatedly brushing your fingers through your hair and picking the strands that fall out. You’re trying so hard to be brave, he can tell. It breaks his heart.
“How am I supposed to convince you I’m telling the truth when you won’t even look at me?” he says with a slight edge of annoyance.
“You don’t get to be upset, Spencer! Don’t give me that crap—“
“I’m not upset, I just want to fix this! Maeve is gone, as far as it goes she might as well be an ex-girlfriend. The same way that I don’t get worked up over your ex boyfriends.”
“That is not nearly the same thing. You didn’t get to see her, Spencer. She didn’t even get a chance to be your girlfriend,” you huff, Spencer’s eyes start welling up as your voice lowers, “How am I supposed to believe that you still love me, when you’re thinking of another woman when you’re with me?”
Whatever color was left in his face has drained out of his feet, the swirl of emotions bombarding him senselessly. 
He’s upset, he’s mad, embarrassed, tired, shameful. He’s feeling hopeless, he wants to just drag you to his sock drawer where that little box sits and show you exactly how serious he is about his love for you. But he knows that would be a cop out, and you wouldn’t believe him. He wouldn’t believe himself either.
“Do you think we’re the same?” you ask, pulling him out of his thoughts. You’ve stood up and started pacing the living room, unable to sit still.
“No! God no, you are so much more than she ever was.”
“Are you just saying that because I’m sitting in front of you, alive?”
He’s taken aback by your bluntness. You’re nearing the end of your resolve, and truth be told, you’re just mad at this point.
“Every time we’ve kissed, we’ve been in bed together, anytime you’ve shown any affection towards me, you were thinking of that…that bitch.” you spit out with venom.
Spencer snaps his head at you without missing a beat, “Don’t call her that.”
Your face drops, “Or what?”
He doesn’t say a word.
Calling a dead woman a bitch is beyond any morals you’d set for yourself, but this situation is one you could have never predicted. Doubling down you step closer, “I called Maeve a bitch, Spencer. And I meant it. Now what are you going to do?”
Spencer swallows grimly, “You can be pissed at me all you want but there’s no need to act…irrational over past things.”
“My boyfriend is thinking of his dead ex girlfriend when he’s fucking me! I don’t know what part of this you expect me to act rational about!” you scream.
He flinches at your raised voice, knowing you were completely valid. Spencer hates that he feels he deserves pity right now, that he can’t help how the grief manifested in him and confused itself with the love he has for you. He loved Maeve, past tense, or maybe he loved the idea of her considering he never got the chance to actually prove it. 
He loves you. Loves—present term. And he has the chance to prove it every single day.
Yet, he still fucked up.
He stands up, “I don’t…think about her when you and I are doing anything. I swear.” he pleads blankly.
“Bullshit.”
He breathes out, “Sweetheart…I don’t know how to prove this to you. I love you, always you.”
You hardened your face despite your heart clenching, “Cat wouldn’t use that against you if she knew it wouldn’t work.”
Spencer’s face drops. He knows you’re right, Cat even told him the evidence that proves it.
A full three minutes of silence pass by before Spencer decides to speak up.
“It happened one time.”
Your glass heart shatters, “…When?”
“When we went to New York for that weekend between cases.” he recounts reluctantly, “It just slipped into my mind a—and I didn’t realize it at first. But once I did I asked you to stop immediately.”
Tears are free falling down your face, “Is that supposed to make me feel better? That you asked me to stop?”
“No—no it’s just me telling you what happened…It was…around the time of the anniversary of that day. So it was in my brain, and I guess it just…” he trails off.
“It just made you want to fuck Maeve?”
Spencer rubs his face with stress, “No, it didn’t. It made me realize that what I couldn’t have with her, I have with you and it’s a billion times better than I could have imagined.”
Your heavy breathes fill the room, and Spencer takes a daring step closer to you.
“I’m sorry, angel. I really am truly sorry. But I love you. I love you more than anything. I fucked up and I should have been honest with you. I’m sorry.”
For Maeve, for Mexico, for not being able to prove that you are the most important person in the world to me.
A soft whine escapes your throat, Spencer feels his heart shatter now, joining the scattered pieces of yours on the floor.
“I—I want to believe you Spencer, I really do,” you sniffle.
He feels the smallest glimmer of hope as you continue, “I don’t know how to move forward from this, I don’t know if I can.”
“I’ll prove it to you, I swear. I’ll spend every day proving that I love you, and showing you that you deserve the world and that I’ll try my hardest to give it to you,” he swallows and takes a deep breath before continuing, “Things like this don’t happen to me, people like you don’t happen to me. You are once in a lifetime. I don’t deserve any chances from you, but I promise to spend the rest of my life showing you how much you mean to me.” Spencer finishes with a tear rolling down his cheek.
A hiccuped sob escapes you and Spencer really wants to come closer and comfort you, but knows that that is quite literally the last thing you need right now. You angrily wipe at your face, battling your conflicting feelings on what the fuck is the right thing to do for you.
You realize that the truly sad part of all of this, is that you still love him. No betrayal could ever sway how you feel about him you think, and this seems to be the biggest one you can think of.
“I feel used, Spencer. Like I was a placeholder for something you didn’t even know you wanted.”
He pleads your name, “Never ever in my life have you been a placeholder for anything.”
“Well, at that moment in New York, I was.”
He shuts his mouth and bows his head like a cornered dog.
“I just want to feel like it’s me that you want,” you whisper to no one, “I just want to be enough. Why can’t it be me, Spencer?”
“It is you, it’s always you angel.”
You take a deep breath and let out, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” and you turn to walk out the door.
Spencer is left on the other side of the closing door, the shut of it echoing throughout his empty apartment. He pulls his phone out to text Penelope to expect you, and then drops on his couch.
Spencer knows many things, and while he has had his stupider moments, with all the certainty and truth in the world you are the love of his life. He won’t go down without a fight for you, because he’d always fight for you. Especially when you’re the one fighting him, he will always fight for you.
690 notes · View notes
luveline · 1 month
Note
Hi Jade! I’ve been feeling a bit down lately — how do you think hotch (or spencer!) would react to a chubby!reader dealing with self-image insecurities!
(sorry if you’ve already written something similar <3)
love you!!!
You turn to the side again, running two hands down your front as you go. Spencer will make it worse if you catch him watching, but he loves taking you in, every part of you, and he’s hard-pushed to drag his gaze away. 
You frown and hold your breath. You pull your stomach in, squeeze the fat of your hips, and turn frontward to repeat the process. 
He turns away from you to finish threading his cufflinks through the holes in his shirtsleeves. “I’m surprised they’re having a baby already,” he says, though he told you this already. 
“I know,” you murmur back. “I thought they’d wait a while, but I suppose you don’t get to choose when it happens sometimes.” 
“He’s thinking about leaving the BAU.” 
“Really?” 
Spencer straightens his tie and turns. You’re more relaxed than you were, turned to him, too, a frown on your painted lips. 
“It makes sense, but I hate it.” Spencer takes your hand where it hangs loosely by your hip. “I hate saying goodbye to people.” 
“Well, don’t say goodbye to me.” 
“I wasn’t planning on it.” He finds your other hand. Holding them both, he leans back until his hair is falling off of his shoulders and getting caught in his shirt collar. You meet his eyes, smiling instinctually, a better sight than your sorry frown had been. 
You rub the back of his hand with your thumb. Quiet stretches, then ends. “Do you think this is alright?” you ask. 
“What, the dress? You look beautiful.” 
“It’s a bit…” You bring his hand gently to your stomach. “It doesn’t hide much.” 
“In my opinion, there’s nothing to hide.” You start to protest and he drags you toward him, hands lacing behind your back, restraining you without force. “No, listen, there’s nothing to hide. You look amazing.” 
“You swear? I wasn’t gonna ask, but I’m scared I’ll embarrass myself and not know it.” 
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, you’re just pretty.” Spencer steals a hand to run down your side. He isn’t sure if it’s the right thing to do, but he isn’t sure how to say it, either. He hopes his hand can do the talking, appreciative, practically adoring as it falls to the apex of your hip, his thumb rubbing at your stomach through the fabric. Your stomach which he loves, no matter what you think of it. “Every part of you is exactly how it should be.” 
“Even my dress?” 
“Especially the dress.” It falls like petals against your thighs. “You worry too much,” he says, knowing why you worry, but wishing you didn’t. He leans in until you’re nose to nose. 
“I know. Thank you, Spence,” you say, closing your eyes. 
He kisses you gently. 
367 notes · View notes
Text
Don’t Expect the Expected
Synopsis: Formula 1’s only and most successful female driver and Real Madrid’s star midfielder. It’s too good to be true. Right?
social media au
female driver reader x jude bellingham
A/N: for this one, reader will be 20 and drive for mercedes with george. also im so sorry but some of the photos might be blurry/hard to see
y/n_l/n
august 19th
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liked by carlossainz55, realmadridfc, and 687,984 others
y/n_l/n carlossainz kidnapped me to convert me into a real madrid fan
carlossainz don’t lie you loved it
realmadridfc no need to pretend y/n! we know you’ve always been a fan ❤️
user1 omg I wonder if she met the players
user2 need more carlos and y/n content immediately they’re such an underrated friendship
user3 yesss y/n and real madrid my two favorite things
y/n_l/n
september 20th
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liked by carlossainz, judebellingham, and 737,421 others
y/n_l/n guess they did something right because im back for more
carlossainz I knew you liked it
y/n_l/n shhh
judebellingham glad to have you back
y/n_l/n glad to be back
user4 ariana what are you doing here
user5 look at y/n and jude 😭
user6 wait what I didn’t even think of them together
user6 im not complaining tho they’d be cute together
user7 omg is that jude in that photo with her??
user8 imagine
y/n_l/n
october 10th
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liked by mercedesamgf1, judebellingham, and 624,178 others
y/n_l/n this week so far
user9 IS THE SHADOW PHOTO Y/N AND JUDE???
user10 OMG THEY’RE TOTALLY A COUPLE
user11 these two were not on my 2023 bingo card 😭
user12 my favorite couple fr
user13 is this a soft launch or hard launch I can’t tell
user14 usually I advocate for people just being friends but I ship these two way too hard for that 😭
y/n_l/n
november 8th
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liked by jobebellingham, judebellingham, and 987,541 others
y/n_l/n this man said “let’s play mermaids”
judebellingham don’t know what you’re on about mermaids is the best game
y/n_l/n I didn’t say it wasn’t??
jobebellingham he can’t even pose 🤦‍♂️
y/n_l/n cant even pose 🤦‍♀️
judebellingham that’s not fair you two can’t gang up on me
y/n_l/n jobe only speaks the truth 🤷‍♀️
jobebellingham facts
user15 caption should’ve said jobe and his parents
user16 family day fr
user17 Y/N’S MET JUDE’S FAMILY IM GONNA CRY
user18 ENOUGH of this soft launch you guys are too cute to stay secret 😭
user19 half of me still can’t believe they’re basically together but the other half of me is so happy they are
user20 my parents
user21 them >>>>
judebellingham
november 20th
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liked by y/n_l/n, eduardocamavinga, and 690,357 others
judebellingham let’s stay in vegas
user22 JUDE WENT TO A RACE AHHH
user23 jude’s in his wag era!!
user24 “let’s stay in vegas” 😭 he’s so sweet im crying
user25 both mercedes on the podium AND a jude/y/n post?? it’s a good day
user25 i just know jude was cheering like crazy for her in the merc garage
user26 no more soft launch please i want my parents to be together and proud 🙏🙏
y/n_l/n
november 27th
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liked by judebellingham, mercedesamgf1, and 619,926 others
y/n_l/n a great end to a fantastic season ⭐️ so proud of everything we’ve accomplished this year, can’t wait till febuary 🫶
mercedesamgf1 🩵
y/n_l/n 🩵
judebellingham 🫶
user27 can’t believe it’s over already
user28 y/n owned this season she did so good 🙏
user29 i don’t know what im gonna do without y/n’s weekly race photo dumps 😔
user27 especially with jude 😞
user30 wish this season could’ve gone on forever
user31 at least we’ll get some winter break content
y/n_l/n
december 1st
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liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, and 801,645 others
y/n_l/n home
judebellingham you couldn’t have chosen a better photo?
y/n_l/n wdym? you look fantastic in that one
user32 omg she called madrid home 😭
user33 or jude home
user34 either are so cute I might die
user35 im so happy they got together
user36 they’re actually perfect for each other
user37 fuck romeo and juliet I want what these bitches have
y/n_l/n
december 7th
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liked by jobebellingham, judebellingham, and 845,139 others
y/n_l/n jobe > the other random one on the right
jobebellingham 💪
judebellingham you need to stop with these photos it’s getting out of hand
user38 jobe’s parents
user39 family day pt 2
user40 no but fr where did she get that picture of jude
user41 omg 💀
judebellingham
december 14th
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liked by y/n_l/n, jobebellingham, and 987,609 others
judebellingham behind the scenes- “this is our second cart, we do not need a 3rd christmas bush” “it’s a christmas tree jude” “dont look like one” “you look like one” “what was that?” “nothing”
“why in the world do we need 4 gingerbread houses? no one even eats them” “so? they look nice” “yeah, 1 looks nice, 4 looks like we’re crazy”
and after we set the timer to get the third photo, y/n slipped and fell. I laughed
user42 LMAOO
user43 jude 💀
user44 im deadddd
user45 holidays with the bellinghams
user46 if she wants 3 christmas bushes let her get 3 christmas bushes??
user47 I would pay sm money to watch this all happen
user48 they bicker like an old married couple I love it
user49 my parents
user50 they’re everyone’s parents atp
user51 im so in love with them
user52 is this still a soft launch??? are they even dating or are they just besties 😭
user53 girl there’s no way they’re just friends
user54 but like they haven’t even called each other girlfriend/boyfriend
user55 they’re 100% dating…. I think
user56 now that I think about it, their posts could very much be platonic 💀
user57 omg no way they haven’t even confirmed their relationship
user52
december 23
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liked by y/n_l/n, judebellingham, and 989,876 others
user52 💀💀
user58 all this time we were trying to get them to reveal their relationship but they weren’t even intentionally hiding it
user59 we’re actually so dumb 🤦‍♀️
user60 I can’t believe we didn’t think of a private relationship sooner
user61 omg seriously
user62 well at least (I have nothing, im still shocked)
*I don’t take credit or own any of these photos*
608 notes · View notes
sellasstories · 8 months
Text
I’D LET YOU
word count: 4.5k
pairing: paige bueckers x azzi fudd
⚠️warnings⚠️
explicit smut, underage drinking, underage drug use (it’s just weed), swearing
prompts:
paige and azzi make inappropriate jokes but they’re apparently not jokes
paige and azzi can’t keep anything from each other
paige and azzi do anything ?for the bit?
It was a rare off weekend for the UConn women’s basketball team, and they’d decided to have a little party. After a few too many competitive drinking games, someone had suggested some team bonding, which is how they’d ended up sitting on the floor in an attempt at a circle.
“Truth or truth, and this is for everyone. What is your type and why is it athletes?” A very drunk Christyn addressed the room at large, giggling at her own joke. The answers ranged from wholesome (Carol, understanding the demanding schedule) to obvious (Olivia, competitiveness) to dirty (Amari, stamina). The room went crazy at the last one as Amari merely shrugged with a slight smirk on her face.
Then it was Azzi’s turn, and she was determined to get a bigger reaction. “I just love other athletes’ bodies. Like come on, have you ever ridden someone’s abs?” She couldn’t hide her self-satisfied grin as everyone shrieked.
Finally, the chaos calmed down. “So moving on from that bullshit, I think it was Paige’s turn..?” There was still shock in Christyn’s voice.
Paige had a mischievous look in her eyes as she opened her mouth. “I was actually gonna say something similar. I feel like no one else appreciates how hard we’ve worked to look like this,” she paused to make direct eye contact with Azzi. “I mean, who else would ask to ride my abs?” She winked at her best friend, ignoring the gags coming from around the circle.
Christyn stepped into the middle of the circle looking distraught. “Ok, game over! This got too weird… everyone go drink more or something, I’m terrified.”
Everyone listened, breaking off into smaller groups. Paige and Azzi ended up together, as they always seemed to. Pressed against each other on the sofa, they looked entirely too close, as their friends always thought they did. “You’re such a little shit,” Azzi giggled, leaning further into Paige.
Paige punched her lightly on the arm. “You’re one to talk when you literally started it! I was just taking the opportunity you gave me,” she raised her hands in surrender.
Azzi’s voice lowered to a whisper. “You know everyone’s gonna think we fucked now, or at least that we did that, right?” And she was right. Their constant attachment and well-known need for each other had raised eyebrows even outside of the team environment. Paige was just relieved that Azzi didn’t sound too concerned about it.
“Let’s be honest, they probably already think that anyway. I say it was worth it for the bit,” the blonde shrugged good-naturedly, her smile widening as Azzi shook her head before resting it on Paige’s shoulder.
Paige couldn’t help herself. “You know what would be really funny though? What if we actually did, like as a joke?”
It was Azzi’s turn to punch her in the arm. “Paige Madison Bueckers, shut the fuck up.” Her head never moved from Paige’s shoulder, the exasperation in her voice not enough to hide the smile on her face.
Paige tried to hold back her own laughter. “I was just trying to be a good friend.” She turned her head to whisper in Azzi’s ear. “I’m sure we’d both have a lot of fun, and I know I could make it better than whatever you’re getting right n-“ She was cut off by Azzi’s hand on her cheek shoving her away.
Azzi’s eye roll was nothing short of theatrical. “Keep talking like that and I’ll have no choice but to think you’re serious. You want me so bad it makes you look dumber than you already are,” she smirked.
“You wish,” was all Paige offered as a retort. They sat in comfortable silence, Paige’s arm finding its way around Azzi’s shoulders, as it always did.
What was not typical for them was Azzi’s hand slowly coming to rest on Paige’s stomach, innocently sliding lower before stopping just above the waistband of her pants. Even though Paige was wearing an oversized t-shirt, she suddenly felt like the thin layer of cotton separating their skin might as well not have been there.
Trying to control her erratic breathing and her train of thought around why Azzi seemed to be pressing so hard, Paige knew that she had to stop whatever was going on. They had both felt the sudden shift in energy, and Paige did not want to confront the weird feeling in her stomach.
“Do you want another drink? I think I’m gonna get something else.” The loudness of Paige’s voice shattered whatever moment they’d been having and Azzi quickly moved her hand as Paige went to stand up.
“Sure, I’ll just have whatever you’re having,” the dark-haired girl answered quickly, not looking up to meet her best friend’s eyes.
Nodding slightly, Paige walked away. She’d barely taken a step into the kitchen when she collided with Aubrey, the concerningly blue drink that her teammate had been holding spilling all over her shirt.
The taller girl steadied herself with a hand on the counter. “Shit, sorry, P, I didn’t-“
“What the fuck is in this, Aubrey?” Paige cut her off. “And why is it so blue?” Her mostly white shirt had quickly taken on the hue of the mystery concoction.
“Bleed blue, baby!” Aubrey grinned, dragging out the last syllable. “For real though, I don’t even remember, but definitely a lot of food colouring at the end. Because I wanted it brighter, you know?”
Nika came over to see what the commotion was about. Seeing Paige’s ruined shirt and the mostly empty cup in Aubrey’s hand, she rolled her eyes.
“Aubrey Griffin, you can’t be doing this shit in my house.” Nika’s words were definitely angrier than her tone, but Aubrey still had the sense to look somewhat guilty under the Croatian’s hard gaze. “Clean this up or find someone sober enough to help you, because I need it gone by the time I come back,” Nika continued.
She then turned to Paige. “You, come with me to pick out something of mine to put on. There’s no reason for you to go all the way to your room to change.”
Nika shot Aubrey a final look over her shoulder as she led Paige away. “You having fun?” She asked once they were out of earshot.
Paige thought while Nika looked through her closet. “I mean, mostly? Az has been kinda weird, and obviously this-” she gestured at her wet T-shirt “-wasn’t great, but I’m always happy to be hanging out with the girls.”
Nika was laying out shirts similar to Paige’s on her bed. “Azzi’s been kinda weird? You’ve both been a bit off actually, everyone has noticed. Something going on with you two?”
Paige knew that her friend meant no harm with the question, but it was really asking a lot more than she wanted to answer. Since Azzi had stepped foot on the UConn campus, she’d brought a certain new intensity to her and Paige’s dynamic that no one else had noticed because they hadn’t known them previously.
The fact that at the whole team had picked up on it, Paige argued with herself, was largely due to Azzi ramping it up even more recently (come to think of it, since a half-remembered, tension-filled drunk exchange between them at Azzi’s birthday party), and Paige was doing very little to discourage it.
Pushing all that out of her mind, the blonde attempted a nonchalant shrug. “Nah, I think we’re both still adjusting to Azzi being here. I know it’s been months, but it’s taken a while to really sink in because it’s so different from any other time we’ve spent this much time together.”
Paige realized that she was maybe still getting too close to the truth with that train of thought. She focused her attention on the series of shirts laid out on the bed. Avoiding Nika’s unconvinced look, she grabbed a cropped tank top that she figured would still match with her outfit.
After turning away to put it on, Paige faced Nika again, holding her wet shirt awkwardly. “Don’t worry about that, I’ll take care of it,” Nika said unexpectedly. Paige raised an eyebrow in surprise. The Croatian just looked her up and down and whistled. “Something tells me you need to go talk to Azzi, maybe sort this thing out.”
Grabbing the shirt from Paige’s outstretched hand, Nika did a bad job of hiding the smirk on her face as she lightly pushed the other girl out of the room.
Paige made her way back to the kitchen, thankfully managing to get her and Azzi’s drinks without incident this time.
Stepping into the living room, she immediately noticed Azzi sprawled on the same couch that she’d been on. “Az, I got our dr-”
“Paigey!” Azzi exclaimed, cutting her off. She reached out both hands, making grabbing motions. “Come here, I missed you.” She grabbed Paige by the ribs, her hands coming to rest on the blonde’s waist.
Paige bent down to get a closer look at her friend’s face. “Hey, you good?” She asked softly, tilting Azzi’s chin up.
The dark-haired girl blinked at her. “I’m okay, just high,” she confessed, looking around. “Someone had a pen and I took a few hits- you should too, I feel so good.” She sank farther into the couch, pulling Paige down beside her.
“I think I’m fine for now,” Paige replied as she carefully placed the drink she’d gotten for Azzi out of her reach. They lapsed into silence again, Paige eventually cracking open her drink and allowing Azzi a few sips despite her earlier resolution to cut the younger girl off.
As she sipped her drink, Paige couldn’t ignore the feeling of Azzi’s eyes burning into her side, or the fact that her best friend’s hands were still in the same spot on her waist.
Azzi, on the other hand, didn’t know what to do with herself. It was absolutely crazy that Paige had decided to put on a shirt that gave her a perfect, unrestricted view of the blonde’s defined abs, especially after the conversations they’d been having. It had to have been on purpose, and Azzi didn’t see how that was even fair, especially in her current state.
But as much as she tried to make herself ignore it, she couldn’t look away, realizing way too late that her hands were still incriminatingly clinging to Paige’s waist. Really, Azzi reasoned, it would be weirder to move them now.
So Azzi’s eyes remained glued to Paige’s stomach, and Paige pretended to remain oblivious, though she wasn’t opposed to any of the attention that she was getting.
Eventually, Paige neared the end of her drink and Azzi’s eyes began to droop, the younger girl letting out a pointed yawn. “Can we go home soon?” She asked softly.
“If you want to,” Paige was was quick to respond. “You still feeling it?”
At Azzi’s nod, the older girl stood up again. “Let me go say goodbye real quick. I’ll be right back, and don’t do anything stupid this time,” she scolded playfully.
Azzi had no intention of doing anything other than trying not to fall asleep on the couch. She was still coming to terms with how good Paige looked, and she’d realized she’d much rather do that away from the room full of people that she was currently in.
A gentle hand stroking her cheek woke Azzi up, and she realized that she must not have accomplished her earlier goal. She raised her head, gazing adoringly at Paige. “Let’s get you home,” the blonde murmured. She wrapped her arms around Azzi’s biceps and pulled her to her feet.
Interlocking their hands, Paige led Azzi out the door and along the familiar path to her dorm.
Suddenly, Azzi stopped in her tracks. “Wait, I wanna sleep in your room,” she said, looking at Paige hopefully.
Paige shook her head, throwing an arm around Azzi’s shoulders. “We can sleep in my room if you want, let’s just get anywhere you can lay down.”
Azzi giggled even though Paige wasn’t trying to be funny. Truthfully, it was less about what her best friend had said and more about her sudden feeling of giddiness that was making her a lot less tired. Still, she squeezed Paige’s hand once in acknowledgment.
Once they got the Paige’s room, the blonde tried to get something from her closet for Azzi to wear, but was met with heavy resistance.
“Paige, I’m fine,” Azzi rolled her eyes as she dragged out the last syllable. She flopped onto Paige’s bed and gestured at her friend. “Come lay down, I wanna hang out.”
Giving in, Paige flopped down beside her. “I thought you were tired. That’s why we left, isn’t it?”
Azzi turned to look at her. “I was, but I’m not really now. Maybe it was all the noise or something.” She sat up suddenly, a mischievous look on her face. “Guess what I still have?”
Paige raised an eyebrow. “No idea, what?” She watched in confusion as Azzi pulled a pen from the pocket of her jeans.
“Azzi, where did you get that? I have to go give it back now,” Paige groaned.
“Not if we’re still using it,” Azzi argued. “I don’t even know whose it is,” she continued unconvincingly. “We can always give it back tomorrow, anyway. Just a few hits, please?”
Folding under the weight of Azzi’s gaze, Paige took the pen from her friend’s outstretched hand and brought it to her lips. Satisfied, Azzi laid back down.
They passed the pen back and forth a few times, not saying much as they stared at the ceiling. Finally, Paige spoke. “This is probably enough.” She got up to put the pen on a shelf out of their reach, definitely feeling its effects. “Do you wanna, like, watch a movie or something?”
Azzi shook her head. “Just wanna talk. I like… right now a lot.”
Paige wasn’t completely sure what that meant, but she crawled back onto the bed, not complaining when Azzi scooted closer and threw an arm around her neck and a leg over her hips.
Azzi buried her face in her best friend’s neck. “You smell nice,” she mumbled.
“Mmm,” Paige made a noise of acknowledgment, but as Azzi fell silent, the older girl’s mind started to drift to places she was very much trying to keep it out of. Azzi herself had said that she wanted to talk, so why wasn’t she talking?
Ordinarily, Paige would’ve been fine to start a conversation, but she was worried about what might come out of her mouth. Especially when Azzi moved her hand down to start rubbing Paige’s stomach again.
Paige’s eyes fluttered closed, the pleasant sensations doing nothing to dispel her urge to talk about what she thought she’d noticed that night.
“You know I’d let you, right?”
Once it slipped out, the confession didn’t seem all that bad in her hazy mind.
Azzi’s clouded eyes met Paige’s as the dark-haired girl propped herself up on an elbow. “You’d let me what, P? We weren’t even talking about anything,” she giggled, stopping the circles on Paige’s stomach.
Paige couldn’t hold back her laughter either, and she figured there was no harm in telling when this whole situation would probably just become another one of their funny stories.
“I meant I wasn’t really joking earlier… I’d totally let you ride my abs, if you wanted to.” Paige laughed even harder, not even believing what had just come out of her mouth.
“Oh my god, you can’t just say that when I’m laying on you like this,” Azzi pouted, dropping her head.
Paige’s voice deepened. “Are you not comfortable? Get more comfortable, then,” she challenged.
“What do you mean?” Azzi breathed, suddenly refusing to make eye contact.
Paige took a deep breath. “I think you know what I mean.” She looked pointedly to Azzi’s hand still in its place on her stomach.
Suddenly uncertain, Azzi sat up, sliding so that she was completely straddling Paige. She wasn’t sure if she’d even meant to do it, but neither of them could deny how good it felt when she ground her hips against Paige’s as she went to lay down again.
Now frozen with both hands braced against the bed on either side of Paige’s head, Azzi experimentally rolled her hips again. This time, Paige’s hands came up to grab her ass, both of them letting out unmistakable moans.
They both released shaky breaths, mouths hanging open as they stared at each other.
“Why’d you stop?” Paige asked, her eyes half closed. “Feels good,” she lifted her hips up slightly for emphasis.
Azzi groaned. It was more her own actions that had scared her, but if Paige was into it, surely it wasn’t all that bad.
Dropping down to her elbows, she started to move her hips again, Paige’s hands on her ass helping her get more friction. With her head buried in Paige’s neck, Azzi was close enough to the blonde’s mouth to hear every little sound she made, something she was very grateful for.
They got lost in the feeling of each other for a moment before Azzi remembered why they were in this situation. “I want to,” she said quietly.
“Want to what?” Paige slid her hands up to Azzi’s hips so she could sit up.
Azzi looked away from Paige’s burning gaze. “Ride your abs,” she whispered. “I wanna see how they- how you feel.” She covered her face with her hands.
Unfortunately, Paige wasn’t letting her off the hook that easily. “With all that still on?” Shamelessly dragging her eyes down Azzi’s body, the blonde put her hands behind her head and waited.
Azzi tilted her head to the side. Fuck, this was really happening. “You could’ve just asked to see me naked, you know.” Her hands moved to the button of her jeans.
Now in her underwear, Azzi toyed with the waistband of Paige’s pants. The dark-haired girl looked at her best friend questioningly.
Paige nodded slightly. “Go ahead,” she encouraged. She lifted her hips, pulling her shirt over her head as Azzi moved to pull off her pants. Sitting back on the blonde’s thighs, her hands twitched as she considered removing her panties.
Somehow, Paige knew what she was thinking about. “Just take them off, you know it’ll feel better,” the older girl grinned, hands still behind her head. Much to her delight, Azzi obeyed her, quickly discarding the offending article of clothing.
Watching Azzi hover over her stomach, Paige resisted the urge to tell her best friend how good she looked. Azzi lowered herself and Paige’s eyes flicked down to watch the movement, her breath catching slightly as she saw how wet Azzi was.
First rocking her hips tentatively, Azzi ground harder against Paige’s toned stomach with every roll of her hips. Finally daring to look her best friend in the eye, Azzi still wasn’t prepared for the intensity of Paige’s stare to have almost an identical effect on her as the feeling of her clit dragging against the blonde’s abs.
“Enjoying… the… show?” Azzi panted, biting her lip as she continued her desperate movements.
“Obviously,” replied Paige. “Feel good?” She failed to hide her cocky smirk.
“Obviously,” Azzi attempted the same cocky tone, but it came out closer to a moan. She closed her eyes and threw her head back, hands coming up to massage her tits.
Feeling hands running down her sides, Azzi opened her eyes. Gritting her teeth, she made herself stop moving as she looked down. “Did I say you could touch?”
Paige’s hands shot away like she’d been burned. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “Just want to help.”
“Here’s what you can do for me,” Azzi took Paige’s hands in hers. “Either you can sit there looking pretty and watch, or-” she moved Paige’s hands to her ass, “-you can actually help.”
Feeling Paige’s grip tighten, Azzi started to move her hips again. Paige’s stomach flexed as her hands pulled Azzi down, and the younger girl moaned loudly at the added pressure on her clit.
Azzi felt her whole body start to get hot as her orgasm built. “Just like that, P,” she praised.
“You close?” Paige’s voice sounded wrecked.
“Mm-hmm,” Azzi’s hands squeezed Paige’s ribs as she chased her high. “Paige, please,” she whined desperately.
Finally, the tension in Azzi’s lower stomach released and her mouth fell open as her orgasm washed over her. Paige felt the younger girl spasm against her stomach as her hips stuttered.
Once her breathing calmed down, Azzi flopped on top of Paige unceremoniously. “You were right,” she conceded. “That was good.”
Azzi felt Paige shrug. “I had to show you what you were missing out on, especially the way you couldn’t stop staring at my abs after I put on that shirt.” Paige’s stomach tensed as she laughed, and Azzi winced at the contact against her sensitive pussy.
“So you did do that on purpose!” She gingerly climbed off of Paige and stood up. “I’m gonna go clean up.”
As soon as she turned her back, a camera flash went off and made her immediately turn back around. “What are you doing?”
Paige looked sheepish. “Taking a photo of my stomach? You know, for the memories?”
“That doesn’t even make sense and you know it,” Azzi giggled. “No one can ever see that, though, understand? Like at this point it might as well be a photo of me licking your-” she quickly cut herself off as she saw Paige’s mischievous grin. “I’m not doing that. It’s gross.”
“So you’ll put your pussy on my abs but on your tongue is gross? You’re so mean,” Paige pouted.
Rolling her eyes, Azzi crawled back onto the bed. Switching between making eye contact with Paige and the camera, she made a show of licking a long stripe up Paige’s stomach.
“There you go, you fucking freak,” she said exasperatedly.
“You’re the freak who actually did it,” Paige retorted.
Azzi happened to glance down as she stood up again and mentally kicked herself. She’d been so wrapped up in her own pleasure that she’d forgotten about taking care of Paige.
Laying down beside the blonde, Azzi cupped Paige’s face in her hands. “When were you going to tell me?” She asked softly.
“Tell you what?”
“Baby, you’re soaked. Were you going to suffer all night?” Azzi couldn’t believe how stupid her best friend was sometimes.
Paige shifted awkwardly. “I hadn’t thought about it, honestly. It’s fine, I’m fine,” she looked away.
Azzi rolled her eyes for what felt like the millionth time. “Let me take care of you.” Her hands ghosted over Paige’s torso.
“I don’t remember this being part of the deal,” Paige said evasively.
“So you’re saying you don’t want it?” Azzi teased. Paige opened her mouth and closed it, knowing she wasn’t winning that argument. She hoped the relative darkness of the room was hiding the redness of her cheeks.
Azzi’s hands went lower. “I thought you’d want to feel good-” she rubbed Paige through her underwear, “-but I guess I was wrong, huh?” Paige inhaled sharply, only getting used to the sensation right before Azzi pulled her hand away.
Paige almost whined. Now that she’d been made aware of how worked up she was, the ache between her legs was only getting stronger. “Need it, please,” she whispered. Azzi smiled triumphantly.
“P, just relax,” her hand slid lazily into Paige’s underwear. “I got you.”
“M’kay,” Paige closed her eyes as she let her body respond to her best friend’s touch. Azzi tried to be as gentle as possible, still not sure why Paige was acting the way that she was.
Azzi settled into the bed and closed her eyes, using Paige’s sharp intakes of breath as a guide while her fingers explored.
“So good, Az,” Paige murmured. Her eyes were still closed, so she didn’t see Azzi’s soft smile.
Deciding that she seemed relaxed enough, Azzi focused her attention on Paige’s clit. Seeing how her hips bucked against Azzi’s hand, the younger girl felt another small pang of guilt.
While Azzi’s fingers worked, Paige, her lips sealed shut, grabbed the dark-haired girl’s other arm and squeezed.
“You’re okay,” Azzi soothed. “So good for me.”
“So- fuck- close,” Paige ground out.
Soon, her hips were lifting off the bed and more expletives were falling from her lips as she came.
Azzi guided her through it, finally sliding her hand gently out of Paige’s underwear. Paige finally opened her eyes and was confused to see Azzi opening the camera on her own phone.
“What are you doing?” She asked, voice still shaking slightly.
“Taking a photo,” Azzi deadpanned, doing a peace sign for the camera. Paige reflexively copied her, not getting it until the flash made Azzi’s two outstretched fingers glisten.
“You’re nasty,” Paige said in disbelief. Azzi dissolved into laughter.
She held her hand out to Paige. “Put them in your mouth.”
“WHAT?” Paige moved her head away. “No shot I’m doing that.”
“So my fingers can touch your pussy but not your mouth? You’re mean and a hypocrite,” Azzi mocked what Paige had said earlier.
“Fine, but this is all you’re getting,” Paige relented, sticking out her tongue and pressing the tip against Azzi’s finger pads.
Grinning like a maniac, Azzi took the photo. Then, she put her fingers in her mouth and sucked, making sure to capture Paige’s shocked expression in what she knew was going to be one of her favourite photos of all time.
“There is something wrong with your brain.” Paige declared. “Also send me that,” she said, immediately calling her point into question.
“You know I will,” Azzi promised. “We should clean up now, though. This is starting to actually get gross.”
Paige groaned but still swung her legs out of bed. The two girls walked to the bathroom.
“Oh my god, your hair!” Azzi giggled as they stared at their reflections. It wasn’t even just Paige’s hair. With her bitten lips and shiny eyes, she looked wrecked. Azzi, on the other hand, looked completely normal, except for her red eyes.
“This is so unfair,” Paige complained, grabbing a washcloth. Azzi just smirked.
After they’d cleaned themselves up, Paige was finally able to convince Azzi to change into comfier clothes. Cuddled up in Paige’s bed, they laid awake with the weight of things unsaid, but neither girl was brave enough to speak up.
Eventually, they both fell asleep, and if Paige got a little too excited the next morning when she saw 6 photos from Azzi, that was no one else’s business.
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irisintheafterglow · 1 year
Text
Lavender Haze (pro!bakugo katsuki x you)
summary: your relationship with dynamight had just gone public, and you need a little verbal affirmation that you two will make it out okay
word count: 1k
cw/tags: very mild angst/comfort, mostly just affectionate katsuki fluff, swearing/profanity wouldn't be a bakugo fic without it, suggestive if you squint, reader is also a pro hero, pet names (babe, stupid, dumbass)
note: i love writing stubborn katsuki banter with an equally stubborn reader who's just used to his antics. domestic katsuki just makes me adhfsjfdfjsgjk, yk? enjoy!
likes/reblogs/feedback are always appreciated!!
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You heard the key turn in the door down the hallway and finally put down your phone after scrolling through Twitter for hours. They’d been particularly ruthless today, ripping into your relationship and theorizing that he didn’t even love you. The room was dark and the thought of faking sleep crossed your mind, but you knew he’d sense you were still awake. So, you wait for him to slip off his gauntlets and tug off his boots and find you in your shared bedroom. 
“Babe?”
“Here, Kats.” He lays down beside you, and you’re so mentally exhausted that you don’t even scold him for slipping into bed dirty from patrol. You let him pull you into his arms and inhale deeply against his chest.
“Why are you still awake?”
“Was waiting for you to come home.”
“Bullshit. You fall asleep hours before I’m off shift.”
“Maybe tonight’s just different, then.”
“Are you gonna tell me what’s different?” 
“Do I need to?”
“Yeah, you’re starting to worry me.” 
“I’m just… scared.” His body tenses around you, scarlet eyes searching your face with concern. 
“What’s wrong? What happened?” 
“Nothing happened, not yet, at least. I’m just…”
He thinks for a moment, and you can’t help but stare in wonder at how beautiful he is when the gears in his brain turn. “They’re getting to you again.”
“How did you know?” Of course, he figured it out; he always seemed to be able to know exactly what you were thinking and verbalize it in a way that you couldn’t. 
“Because I love you, stupid, and I know your mind like it was my own.”
“They just, they think I’m using you, Kats, or that I don’t love you, or that this is all a PR stunt by my agency–” Your voice starts to shake on its own, and you push back against the frustration welling up in your eyes. 
“Your manager isn’t smart enough to do that.” A finger comes down to brush a stray hair from your face as you glare up at him. He’d been wanting you to hire a new manager for months or simply merge with his agency, but you wanted the social media firestorm to die down first before any big public moves. 
“Bakugo Katsuki.”
“What? You know I’m right.”
“Not the point.”
“You need to stop reading through Twitter, baby. You really trust some assholes on the Internet over the man of your dreams?” He smirks down at you and draws spirals on your shoulder with his fingers, leaving tingling sensations in their wake. He knew just how to make you feel better, and it was one of your favorite things about him. The way he balanced crude humor with reassurances that you needed and small acts of affection distracted your brain from spiraling any further.  
“Okay, man of my dreams, I get it. Could you just say it?” He brushes his thumb over your bottom lip absentmindedly. 
“Say what?”
“You know, the thing. Please.”
“Oh, right.” Understanding washed over his face, and you caught a little bit of underlying impatience that made you feel a little guilty for asking. 
“Did you forget?”
“Of course not. I just wish I didn’t have to keep telling you that I’m not going to leave you because of some fuckfaces on the Internet making up rumors. I trust you, you trust me, and no one else’s bullshit matters.” He shrugs a toned shoulder and returns to dragging his fingers over your body, running his hands in the creases and dips that he’s memorized on you. 
You roll your eyes. His encouragement was effective, but you couldn’t help but huff out a laugh at the expletives thrown into this round of verbal affirmation. “That’s more aggressive than last time, Kats.”
“It’s an upgrade,” he grins, gently squeezing the flesh around your hips. He got more handsy when he was deliriously satisfied, not that you were complaining. “Next time you get anxious that I’d do something stupid like break up with you, I’m gonna tell Shoto to buy Twitter and ban you from it.” 
“Bold of you to assume he would listen to anything you say.”
“Bold of you to assume I don’t know where he and his entire family lives,” he whispers innocently, pressing his lips to your forehead. His fingers brush up and down the sides of your neck and shoulders, sending chills running through your limbs. 
“Kats–”
“I’m kidding…” He drawls and flashes a cruel grin. “Kinda.” 
“Okay, high school asshole Katsuki, get out of my bed and shower. You’re all sweaty and sticky and yuck.” You push against his chest to no avail. 
He pouts, grabbing hold of your wrists and having you pinned against your bed in one fluid motion. “I thought you loved it when I was sweaty and sticky and yuck.” Strands of blonde hair fall onto his forehead and brush against yours as he leans down to brush his lips against yours. He’d never looked so beautiful.
“Not when I’m trying to sleep.”
He pulls back abruptly, looking at you skeptically. “You weren’t trying to sleep shit, babe.” 
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Neither does spiraling over idiots on a stupid fucking bird app.” Fortunately, your body’s awareness of Katsuki’s hands had put the hate tweets you read in the furthest corner of your mind.
“You made your point, like, three points ago.”
His head dips back down to kiss a trail down your collarbone. “Yeah, but sometimes your dumb ass doesn’t listen.”
“You can’t resist this dumb ass.”
He bites down gently where your shoulder meets your neck and you jump, his chuckle buzzing against your skin. “Nope. It’s a plague.” Any more of his body on yours was set to be a disaster, so you attempt to halt his advances before you’re further entangled with each other. 
“Take a shower, Kats.”
He leaves one more chaste kiss on your nose. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” You sigh and wait for him to release your wrists, but he gives you a pointed look like you’d responded incorrectly. 
“I. Love. You.” God, he’s such a brat. 
You press a kiss up to his forehead and he closes his eyes in contentment. “I love you more.”
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rebouks · 2 months
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Previous // Next
Jude: Why can’t I just live here?! Ivan: How many times do we gotta go over this? Jude: They’d barely notice! Ivan: I’m sure that ain’t true. Jude: Is too-.. the stupid baby isn’t even here yet n’ it’s like I don’t exist! Ivan: They’re just excited, is all. Pixie: Is it gonna be my brother or sister too? Ivan: It don’t work like that, spud. Pixie: How does it not? If it’s Jude’s brother or sister n’ I’m his sister then that means they’ll be mine too, right? Jude: No, ‘cause we’re only related by dad. Ivan: What’re you doin’ tomorrow? Jude: I dunno, Robin said he was busy, so… Ivan: No Jacob? Jude: He’s uh-.. out of town. Pixie: When can I-… Ivan: Don’t start, Pix. Jude: Can we be excused now? Ivan: You don’t gotta ask. … Pixie: I wish you lived here all the time too. Jude: Yeah… Pixie: Maybe if you annoy them enough, they’ll want to get rid of you. Jude: Fat chance-.. I’d just wind up grounded. Pixie: You could run away? Jude: I don’t think that’d work either. Pixie: There must be something we can do. Jude: Some problems don’t have a solution. Pixie: That sounds like a lame, adult thing to say. Jude: It kinda does, doesn’t it? Let’s find a mad scientist to make a clone of me instead. Pixie: One without spots and a smelly bed! Jude: [snickers] It’s gotta be believable, dummy.
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suzukiblu · 3 months
Text
WIP excerpt for inkwell; Billy adopts Conner and it actually goes pretty good! (( chrono || non-chrono ))
“Oh,” Lynn says, still frowning a little. Billy feels a brief flash of embarrassment, but mostly grief, and then pushes it aside for–later. For . . . some other time. 
He’s not–he’s– 
It’s been too long to feel the grief this sharp, he thinks, though probably it’s because of Lynn. Not, like–he doesn’t mean it’s Lynn’s fault, just . . . 
Well. He’s a dad now, and his kid is never gonna get to meet his dad, or his mom either, and Billy can’t ask them for advice or anything, or . . . 
He guesses having a kid of his own is just making him think about them a lot. That’s . . . normal, probably. Or he figures it would be, anyway. It makes sense, right? 
He tells himself that, but he still feels . . . 
He really wishes his parents could’ve met Lynn, is all. He thinks they’d have liked him too. And he hopes Lynn would’ve liked them. 
They’d have been . . . 
Billy doesn’t really know what kind of grandparents his parents would’ve been, obviously, but–but he thinks they’d have liked getting to do it. And Lynn could use more family and more people to, like, depend on and teach him stuff and all. 
They’re the only reason Billy hasn’t messed this up yet, he’s sure, so it doesn’t seem . . . fair, really, that they’re not gonna get to meet Lynn. That they’ll never . . . 
That they didn’t get to, he means. Because–past tense. Obviously. 
Maybe if he does a good enough job trying to take after them, though, it’ll almost count. 
. . . maybe. 
“Um–so, what’s first?” Billy asks, glancing back down at the food. 
“Mise en place,” Lynn says. 
“. . . huh?” Billy says, looking back to him to blink in confusion. Lynn–frowns, a little. 
“Uh,” he says. “You don’t . . . know what that is?” 
“I mean, it’s French,” Billy says. “But I don’t know why it’s French? Do you like French, because if you do I do understand, um, literally every human language so–” 
“It’s a cooking thing,” Lynn interrupts abruptly, and Billy realizes he may be overthinking things here. 
“Oh,” he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Um–what are we ‘putting in place’, then?” 
“The ingredients,” Lynn says. “And what we need.” 
“Oh,” Billy says, a little puzzled. “But . . . we already did that?” 
“Uh–no,” Lynn says, looking uncomfortable. “You measure it all. And get the utensils and cookware ready. So it’s–more efficient. Less stopping and starting.” 
“Oh!” Billy says in surprise, then beams at him. “That’s really smart, Lynn!” 
Lynn looks embarrassed. 
“It’s just–normal,” he says stiffly, then turns away and takes a few pans off the rack of pots and pans on the wall. 
“Is it?” Billy says, peering at the cookbooks. “The recipes don’t say anything about it. And I don’t remember–um, my parents never did it, when they cooked.” Or any of his foster families either, but . . . 
He doesn’t really want to talk about them, if he doesn’t have to.
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samandcolbyownme · 3 months
Note
Do more drunk Colby x reader smutd
Or like exs drunk hate sex at a party type shit pls pls pls
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WARNINGS: SMUT18+, strong language, swearing, mentions of alcohol, drunk actions, drunk unprotected sex, possible CHEATING (Colby brings a date but fucks the reader), asshole!colby, toxic relationship/situationship, creampie, dominant!Colby, like real dominant, choking, hair pulling, degrading, praising, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, angsty? filth
Word Count: 3.3k | unedited
“You know Colby’s going to be there, right?” Jillian says, “Jake said they’re all riding together and..” She pauses and you look up at her, “Colby’s taking a girl, isn’t he.”
She nods and you roll your eyes, “Of course he is.”
“Jake wanted me to warn you, he knows how.. volatile you two are.” She laughs slightly and you look over at her, “I think, after tonight.” You shrug, “This time is the last.”
She tilts her head more, giving you a look, “You’re not going to fuck him are you?”
You shrug, “I know I shouldn’t, but..” you bite your lip as you smirk, “You know he can’t stay away from me.”
“Just like you can’t stay away from him.” Jillian mumbles as she stands up and you smirk at her, “It’s Colby.”
“It’s Colby.” She mocks you, “When are you going to realize that Colby is an asshole.”
“He’s not always an asshole.” You argue and she snaps, shaking her head, “Um, no. None of that. You’re going there to break everything off with Colby, y/n. You have a mission.”
You knew that as soon as you physically seen Colby holding onto another girl like he used to you, you were going to get pissed.
Colby was yours.
“Yeah. Yeah, a mission.”
——
As soon as you walk in, you go find the drink spot, each pouring yourselves a few shots before making a drink to go mingle.
You were on a mission to find your friend, basically to wish them a happy birthday, but along the way, you spot Colby for the very first time.
His around wrapped loosely around a brunettes waist. He was talking to Sam, so he didn’t notice you, but the girl did - straightening up and clinging to Colby like she owns him.
You roll your eyes, laughing as you disappear into the crowd with Jillian. You end up finding Jake a few others.
“Holy shit. Look who left the house for once.” Jake says as he reaches out, taking your hand to spin your around.
“That dress is fucking hot, y/n. Where did you get it?” Tara asks running her fingers over the sparky silver fabric, “I need one of these.”
“Online. I’ll send it to you later. Remind me!” You look at Sam and smirk, “Hi Sam.” He smirks, eyes going up and down your body before he leans in, “Colby already hates that you wore that.”
“He told you?” You tilt your head, looking over at him slightly and he shakes his head, “The girl he’s with told him she seen you and he seen you just as you walked away. Could tell by the look on his face.”
“Well with the way our last fight went, I hope it bugs him bad.” You laugh slightly as you bring your cup to your lips, “Who’s the girl?”
Sam laughs, shaking his head, “No one that’ll be around long.”
You finish your drink, giving him a nod, “I’m gonna go get more to drink.” You look around, “Fuck, where did she go?”
Sam shrugs, “Want me to go with you?”
“Nah, I’ll find you later.” You smile at him and walk through the crowd. You’re constantly on the lookout for Colby.
You just couldn’t help it.
As you make your way up and set your cup down, your breath hitches in your throat as your bicep is grabbed and you’re turned away from the counter, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
You slowly turn the rest of the way around, letting out a sigh as your eyes meet the blue ones of your ex, but they weren’t welcoming, just like yours.
They were heated with anger, just like you knew they’d be.
“I’m attending a friend’s party.” You tilt your head, brows raising as your eyes move down his body, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
He scoffs, shaking his head, “Please, you barely know-“
“Mm. I’m going to have to stop you right there because one, I’m not doing this sober, and two, I’m not doing this here.”
You fill the rest of your cup up and go to walk away but Colby grabs your wrist, pulling you into him, “Sober or drunk. It’s always you.”
You clench your jaw, “If I mean so fucking much to you, why are you hanging onto another girl when we literally left each other last week?”
He smirks, “Aw, is my little princess jealous?”
“I’m not doing this here.” You turn to walk away but you’re stopped, “Then we can do this somewhere else. Where would you like to go?”
“Away from you.” You pull your arm and manage to walk away from him, eyeing a guy in the crowd you knew would get Colby’s blood pumping.
You were going to end things, but why not have a little fun first, right?
You walk up to the guy, a smile on your face and he immediately invites you to dance with him. His hands on your hips as he pulls you into grind on his crotch to the beat of the song playing.
“You’re pretty hot.” The guy says into your ear, which causes you to smile. You turn around, arms going around his neck as his thigh pushes between yours.
He glances down, hand still holding your hip as you continue to dance, “You here with someone?” You feel your mood shift, Colby was watching you.
You shake your head as you spin back around, eyes landing on Colby’s as the girl he brought with chats with others behind him.
He nods his head towards the steps and you bite your lip, shaking your head. He tilts his head and you tilt yours, still dancing with the guy behind you.
“Now.” Colby mouths and you roll your eyes, pulling away from the guy, “Gotta pee.” You shrug and walk away from him before he can say anything else.
You walk up the steps, looking for Colby and you stop as a door opens, “Come here.”
You swallow before turning to walk into the room. It was a lot more quiet than downstairs.
Tense, too.
“What the fuck was that?” Colby asks as he slams the door, “You think you can just-“
“Just what? Colby? Please, tell me, but before you do. I would love to remind you just how fucking stupid and hypocritical you’re going to sound if you do.”
He cocks his jaw, letting out a quiet scoff, “You need dick that bad, you’re willing to go into a crowd at a random party and seduce the first guy that gave you attention?”
“No.” You shake your head, “I did that so I could finally get you alone.” You rush towards him, hands on his neck and his hands move to your waist, lips moving with yours as you back him up towards the bed.
He sits down, pulling you down with him, “Why didn’t you just say so baby?”
“Because I know I shouldn’t.” You kiss down his neck, groaning as you stand up, turning away from him as you slightly yell, “Fuck, Colby. Haven’t you taken enough from me?”
He sits up, “Can’t you just shut the fuck up for five minutes!?”
You laugh, “God, I can’t even be fucking happy for no more than a week because they always know I can’t stay away from you.” You walk back over, straddling his lap. He looks up at you, hands on your hips as his lips brush against yours, “What do you need, baby?”
Your voice cracks, “I need to stay away from you.”
“But what do you want?” He plants little kisses on your neck and you moan out quietly, “I want you so fucking bad.”
You grind your hips down into his, lips crashing into his, “Please Colby, I’m taking this as the last time we’ll do this.”
“You know that won’t happen.” He flips you over, reaching down to pull up your dress, “You’re addicted to me..” he slips his fingers inside of your soaked panties and rubs up along your folds, “Just like I am to you.”
You gasp as his fingers push into you, curling and thrusting immediately, “Fuck, does being a fucking bratty little whore turn you in this much?”
You nod, moaning out loudly as you roll your hips towards his hand, “Colby.”
“Answer my question.”
“Fuck.” You moan, snapping your head up, “Ye-yes.”
“Yes what?” Colby pauses his thrusts, “I can wait.”
“You’re such a dick.” You roll your eyes, legging out a whine. He smirks, “Yeah, yeah. You’ve told me before.”
He slowly pushes his fingers in and out, “If you want more, tell me.” You let out a groan, “Yes, Colby. Being a bratty little whore turns me on.”
He reaches up, wrapping his hand around your throat, “If you want dicked down, I suggest dropping the bratty attitude right fucking now.” He tightens his hand and you smirk, “But daddy, that’s no fun.”
“Don’t cum.” He shakes his head, releasing his grip on your throat, “I don’t even know if I’ll let you.”
You whimper at his words and gasp, spreading your legs further apart as you feel Colby slip in a third finger.
“Fuck.” You moan out, back arching as you feel your cunt stretch around his fingers with each glide, “F-fuckfuckfuck.”
“You’re such a whore, wearing this dress that covers what, exactly?” Colby scoffs, “Dancing with my friend, you know you’re mine.”
“Am I though?” You bite down on your lip, focusing on not wanting to cum, “Because that pretty brunette downstairs might have an issue with that.”
“She means nothing to me.” He leans down, kissing your inner thighs. You roll your eyes back as you feel his lips press down onto your clit, “Then why come with her?”
His tongue laps at your clit, earning moans and whimpers as your hand moves down to grip his hair, “Fuck, fuck.”
You tilt your head back, snapping it back up when he pulls away from you, standing up to take off his clothes, “Roll over.”
You turn over onto your stomach, glancing back at him as he pushes his jeans down his thighs, “Ass up, c’mon baby. You should know this.”
You let out a sigh as you raise your ass into the air, your knees pressing into the mattress below you. You wince, letting out a slight cry as Colby delivers a hard slap to your asscheek.
“Roll your eyes one more fucking time and I’m leaving this fucking room.” Colby moves behind you, pulling your hips back with one hand as he strokes his cock with the other, “Who’s pussy is this?”
“Mine.” You smirk at your comment but it’s quickly taken away when your ass is smacked again, “Such a fuckin brat, tonight. Fuck. Can’t go a week without my cock can you, baby?”
You moan loudly as he slides his cock into you fully, not giving your time to adjust before he pulls out and quickly falls into a fast rhythm.
He reaches down, grabbing your wrist to bring back to pin against your lower back, doing the same with the other.
He uses your wrists as leverage, pulling you back to meet his thrusts and you cry out with pleasure each time.
He leans down, lips close to your ear as his hand moves to grip your throat, “Your pussy is the only pussy my cock goes in.” He presses a kiss to your neck right behind your ear, “In case you were wondering.”
You scoff, “Are you sure about that?”
“You want me to get Sam up here? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind seeing you bent over like this.” Colby chuckles, and your face feels like it’s right in front of a fire, “N-no, why would- why would you do that?”
Colby pulls out, rolling you over into your back, “Because.” He says as he lifts your left leg, placing your ankle in his shoulder as he straddles your other leg, “I already know that no other pussy would even come close to feeling like yours.”
He pushes his cock in, his arms wrapping around the leg that’s pressed against his chest. You moan out, twisting your body as his cock rubs against your clit with each thrusts, “F-fuck. Colby please, let me cum!”
“Whose pussy does this belong to?” He asks, groaning out as he tilts he head to the side, “Huh, princess?”
“Whose dick does this belong to?” You raise your brows, gasping out as you feel so close to your desperate release.
He reaches down, gripping your chin as his thumb hooks over your teeth, “You know it’s yours.”
You nod, “Then fucking act like it is.”
Colby’s hand goes to your throat and he leans down as far as he can until your whimper from the strain in your leg, “Ooh, gettin’ mouthy now are we? That’s a way to be left high and dry until we get home, baby.”
“Who said I’m going home with you?” You moan out as he slowly pushes his cock all the way in as his hand tightens around your throat.
His voice is low, “You did the second you decided to put this slutty little dress on and walk out of your house.”
You bite your lip, your walls squeezing his cock desperately as you end your blurting out, “Yours. It’s yours, daddy. I’m yours! Please, please, please let me cum, I promise I-I’ll be good.”
“You’ll be good huh?” He leans up, flipping over so you’re on top, “Get off yourself.”
He raises his brows as you stare at him, “Or we can be done for now? Your choice, Princess.” You waste no time, bouncing your hips up and down, your nails leaving crescent shaped divots on his chest.
“That’s it. Just like that.” Colby breathes out as he watches you ride his cock, “Such a good little dickriding whore.”
He reaches up, gently giving your cheek a tap, “How close are you, baby?”
“so fucking close.” You whine out, “Fuck, fuck.” You lean down, lips connecting to his and his hands slide down your back, gripping your hips to keep them moving, “Fuck, I’m gonna cum, keep going baby.”
You kiss down his neck, earning more moans from him as you suck marks into his skin, not even caring that they won’t be able to he covered with his shirt.
“Claiming what’s yours, huh?” Colby smirks as pulls you in by the neck to kiss you. He swallows your moans, his fingertips digging into the flesh of your hip as his thrusts sloppily thrust upward.
“I’m gonna cum deep in that pussy.” Colby mumbles as he kisses down your neck, “Fucking put a baby inside of you, my baby. So everyone knows your mine.”
You moan, moving your hips faster, “Fuck, m’so close.” He wraps his arms around your body, his hips taking over as he thrusts up into you, “cum for me, mamas. I got you.”
You feel yourself melt into him, coming undone in his gasp as his cock twitches inside of you. You lay your head down on his shoulder, moaning into his neck as your pussy pulsates around his cock as you come down from your high.
It always feels better when you shouldn’t be doing it.
He reaches up, stroking your hair with his hand, “I love you.”
You stay silent, everything hitting you all at once, “I love you, but l-“ you go to get up, fixing your underwear as you look around for the heels you kicked off in the process.
“Y/n.” Colby stands up, dressing himself, “I want us to work.”
“I want that more than anything, Colby.” You look up at him, quickly looking away when you feel your eyes start to burn, “Maybe if we just.. went another way.. i wouldn’t regret the decisions that I’ve made.”
“What decisions do you regret, y/n?” Colby steps towards you and you shake your head, “I’m so ready to let you go, I told Jillian that time is the last, and I-“
You take a deep breath, cutting Colby off before he can speak, “I don’t want to spend another day looking for someone to fill the spot I know they can’t replace.”
“My spot, you mean?” Colby tilts his head, “I don’t..” he looks down and you speak up, “We argue. Im left crying while by the next day it’s like you don’t even miss me.”
Colby stares at you and you shrug, “Maybe we were just built to fall apart..”
He shakes his head, “We can work on it. I used to say I’m broke and nothing can fix me, but that was until I met you.”
You shake your head, “You were literally screaming at me to shut up before I fucked you and now you’re practically on your knees begging for me, I don’t know if I can believe that you truly want me, Colby. You’re so wishy washy with it. We fight. Over stupid shit.”
Colby shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything.
Him not saying anything sets you off, “Alright. So since you don’t want to continue this conversation.” You pull your dress down, sitting down to put your heels on, “As soon as I put these on, I’m walking out and we’re done.”
“Just like that?”
You look forward then at Colby, “Mm, yeah. Pretty much. I’m not going to keep wasting my time and energy on someone who isn’t going to give me what I want.”
“What do you want?” Colby walks over, getting down on his knees, “Y/n, I’m telling you. It wasn’t until I seen you with another dude that I didn’t know how serious we were.”
“Colby.” You stand up, going to walk away but Colby grabs your waist, “Y/n. Baby please.”
“it’s too late now, there’s literally in now point in screaming and arguing anymore. We don’t work, Colby.”
“We can make it work, we can work on us. Together.” He stands up and cups your cheeks, “Please. You’re who I want to be with. Fight with. Argue with.”
You shake your head, “Colby. This is the last time. We’ve tried countless of times, I can’t go through anymore heartbreak.”
You pull away and stop when Colby speaks, “What are you going to do if that test is positive in a month or so?”
You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath, “What do you want from me Colby?” You shrug, “I just want to go home.”
“We can go home.”
You shake your head, “No, Colby. With Jillian, who I came with.”
“Please, give me one more chance, I promise no more games. No more girls to make your jealous.” Colby’s words make you smirk slightly, but you shake your head, “I need time, Colby. I just- this shouldn’t have happened.”
“But you know it’ll happen again, and again.”
You knew he was right, you knew that this wasn’t the last time you’d see him. After a few days of him not giving up, just like he said he wouldn’t, you agreed to give him one last chance.
You kept it a secret, basically saving another possible heartache from being your friend’s problem.
But that quickly back fired when you had no other choice but to answer the question Colby asked you.
“What are you going to do if that test is positive in a month or so?”
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Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought of it! 🖤 I love you all so much!
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Yandere diaries. || Toby x reader. A new (possible) series I got the idea to do of the creeps doing diaries showing them gradually becoming yandere.
3k words. CW: Yandere, adult content (mentions of arousal and references to masturbation), descriptions of violence and gore, unhealthy relationships, severe abuse, delusions, Toby slipping into insanity and also being an unhonest/unreliable narrator with how awful he’s being.
4/26/22 -
I met someone new today! We bumped into each other at a park I like to go to on Earth. They were so kind to me. We ended up getting ice cream together and exchanging numbers. I hope I can see them again soon.
5/11/22 -
I’ve been able to see them a couple more times. We’ve been messaging regularly, and have also called a couple of times. I’ve never felt so connected to someone so quickly before. We have a lot in common, and they don’t even mind any of my tics or odd quirks. We have a plan to meet up this weekend and go to the movies together, I’m really looking forward to it. I hope we continue to be friends with each other for a long time!
5/14/22 -
I just got home. We had such a fun time at the movies! We saw one of the more recent horror films together. They got scared partway through and clung onto me to feel better, and it made me feel really happy and protective over them. I wouldn’t mind seeing more horror movies with them in the future if it means that they’d do that again. We haven’t known each other very long, but I feel so connected and interested in them, I feel sparks every time they touch me. Is this what falling in love feels like?
6/21/22 -
I haven’t been able to see them for a few weeks because of our schedule differences. I feel like I’ve been excessively sad because of that. I just feel like my life is so much dimmer without them. I wanna go to the park with them again, eat ice cream, and curl up under a tree with them. I wish I could be with them every day.
7/29/22 -
We haven’t known each other for a very long time, but I’m certain they’re the person I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life. They make me the happiest I’ve ever felt, they understand me like nobody has ever understood me before, I just feel so carefree and excited in their presence. I think they might feel the same way about me too. I need to try my best to build up some courage and ask them to be my partner before someone else can.
8/11/22 -
I asked them on a date and they said yes!! I’ve never felt more excited than I am right now!! We’re going on our first date in a few days. I need to make sure I have a nice outfit to wear because I want to take them somewhere nice to eat, and then we’re gonna go for a walk together and stargaze. My life truly feels so complete and wonderful right now, I feel like I’m finally on a path to keep getting better with them in my life!
11/24/22 -
I haven’t been dating them very long, but I convinced Slender to allow me to invite them to Thanksgiving dinner. Normally we have to date our partners for a year, but I just know our relationship is going to work out, so I don’t feel the need to wait that long. They had so much fun meeting everyone, and they were happy the whole time. I felt a bit jealous that they didn’t pay as much attention to me, but that’s okay because there were so many new people they had to meet. I’m sure next time I invite them over they won’t pay anyone else any attention. I’m looking forward to having them over here more often!
12/14/22 -
I got into an argument with Jeff today. I had them over to visit me, and I stepped away for a minute to get us some snacks and Jeff so rudely decided to try and steal their attention from me. It isn’t fair! He was trying to make them laugh and hang out with him instead of me!! I got really angry and I started yelling at him, and he yelled back at me, claiming he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He’s not allowed to just walk up to them and act like they’re buddy-buddy. They’re my partner, and they’re here for me. Nobody else has the right to their attention but me.
12/25/22 -
I got to celebrate my first Christmas with them today. We spent a little bit of time downstairs with the others, but then I wanted to bring them upstairs to my room so we could be together alone. I gave them a bracelet with our names on it so that everyone would know they belonged to someone, and they seemed to like it. However, I got a bit upset at them. They said they had to go home so they could celebrate with their friends and family too, but aren’t I good enough? Aren’t I their family now? It doesn’t make any sense to me why they couldn’t just stay at the mansion, but I let them go. I’ll have a talk with them about this later.
1/24/23 -
We had another argument again. They have this friend that keeps overstepping his boundaries and I don’t appreciate it. He’s been hogging their attention recently and hanging out with them more and it’s seriously fucking pissing me off. They wouldn’t stop talking to him so I had to lie to them about him to finally get them to back off from him a bit. I wouldn’t normally want to do that, but it’s for their own good. Nobody should be hogging them away from me that much. Their friends are lucky I even allow them to talk with my dove at all. I think that’s what I’ll start calling them, now that I think about it. My sweet, soaring Dove.
2/17/23 -
I ended up getting into a fight with one of Dove’s friends. I was trying to make sure I could spend Valentine’s with Dove, but this friend wanted to be able to see them that day since he’s going on a trip soon or some other stupid excuse. It pissed me off. IM their boyfriend, that day is for US. I confronted him to get him to back off but he had the nerve to stand his ground. I had to beat the shit out of him to get him to understand his place. It’s been three days, and apparently, he hasn’t contacted them since. Good. One less pest I have to worry about. Dove was a little suspicious when I came home with torn-up knuckles that day, but I just told them it happened during training and they believed me. They even took the time and care to bandage me up. They really are so special to me. Nobody else can have them.
3/18/23 -
I’ve never really thought much about blood before. When it’s on myself or my victims, I’ve never really cared about it, I’ve actually usually thought it was gross, but it was different today. Dove got this gash when we were out on a hike from tripping and slicing their arm on a sharp rock. Normally the blood wouldn’t have bothered me, but it was just so pretty. The red spreading across their skin was just so alluring. Of course, I got them cleaned off and patched up as soon as I could, but my heart is racing just remembering it. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I hope they get cut again soon. I have to confirm if this feeling inside me is real or just a one-off.
3/28/23 -
It wasn’t a one-off. We were cooking, and they were using one of our sharper knives. My curiosity got the better of me, and I “accidentally” bumped into them from behind. They ended up cutting themself, and their blood was just as alluring today, flowing freely out of their finger. I ended up putting their finger in my mouth to suck the blood off, and I’ve never tasted something so intoxicating before. They were a bit confused, but I just played it off and they let it go. Holy shit. I feel like I have to taste it again. I have to. The red on their skin, the metallic lingering taste in my mouth. It’s so addicting. It honestly made me a bit excited, I had to take a moment to myself so they wouldn’t notice.
4/16/23 -
I bit them. We were making out, and I just felt myself getting so worked up. I pinned them down on my mattress, and I started kissing down Dove’s neck. I couldn’t help it, my heart was beating so fast and I felt myself getting dizzy, and I bit them really hard. Their skin was so soft in my mouth, and blood started oozing out, running against my teeth and my tongue, and my lips, it was so warm and exciting, it felt like I was getting drunk. Dove didn’t like it though. They screamed and cried and begged me to stop, and I didn’t want to, but I did. I bandaged them up and apologized and feigned innocence. They said they wanted to go home early, so I took them to not get on their bad side anymore. I was so worked up though. I had to take care of myself when I got home, I was just so turned on. I have to do it again somehow. They won’t like it, but I have to. Nothing has ever felt so pleasing before.
4/29/23 -
I tried to bite them again, and they realized it wasn’t an accident this time. They yelled at me and hit me to get me off of them, and I hit them back much harder. They looked so broken and upset while they cried, but their tears and screams got me just as turned on as their blood did. The bruise that formed on their cheek was so beautiful. I held them close and apologized a whole bunch because I don’t want them to hate me. I cried a lot and I meant it. I promised I wouldn’t do it again, which I guess I didn’t mean. However, they can’t just disobey me like that. I need to try and be on my best behavior so they can be more relaxed around me. I can’t have them fighting back every time I want to do something to them.
5/09/23 -
I think my Dove needs to be caged. They’ve gotten so used to flying free that they need to be grounded and brought back to reality. I keep trying to limit their interactions with others because they keep poisoning my Dove against me, and Dove tried to fight me today. We got in a big yelling match, but I was able to calm myself down in the nick of time so that I didn’t make things worse. I got them to calm down, and we’re gonna have some space between us for a few weeks. I think I’m going to take this opportunity to my advantage.
5/30/23 -
While we haven’t been spending time together, I’ve been working hard. I found an old house in the Underworld for cheap, and I’ve been rebuilding it and fixing it up. I altered it to be able to hold Dove in without their escape, and I’m so excited about it. I’ve got a bedroom I’m setting up for them, and a nice kitchen because they’ve always liked cooking with me. I know Dove is going to love it so much when I bring them here in a few weeks. It’s going to be the best thing for us. Dove is too innocent about the world around them, and I have to be able to protect them. Nobody else can do a better job than I can.
6/08/23 -
[Parts of the entry have been torn. Words are smudged or crossed out and it is not completely legible, but some of it remains visible. *Full translation will be added at the end for those that use translators/text to speech.]
I CAN'T FU—— BELI— TH—!! DOVE WAS TRY— TO MOVE!! THEY W— TRYING TO LE—E ME!! THAT STU— BASTARD [Redacted] TRIED TO TA— THEM F—M ME! WHEN ALL IVE ———— IS PROTECT TH— AND THIS IS —— REPAY ME?!? I'VE NEVER BE— SO ANGRY!!!
Dove is FUCKING LU—Y I had the home re—y! If not, I wo—d’ve just thrown th— in the fucki— basement!!! [Redacted] got wh— they deser—. I be— the- so bad you —— —king recognize —. I’ll du— the bo— som—ere else.
7/06/23 -
Dove hasn’t been making things any easier. Since they last tried to move away things have been such a fucking pain in the ass. They were so scared when I locked them in here. I wanted it to be a warm welcome, where I’d bring them here voluntarily, but they had to go and ruin it because of [Redacted] sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. They tried to run away a few days ago, and I went to write about it but I was so fucking pissed I ripped the page to shreds. I had to break their ankles so that they wouldn’t be able to run again, least not for a long while. I’ve also been keeping them tied up more, but it’s easier now that they can’t walk. The bruises on their legs are just so beautiful. I think I might keep them like this, even though they cry every day from the pain and the circumstances, but their tears are beautiful as well. I have to get more painkillers soon for them.
10/18/23 -
It’s been a while since I’ve updated. Things have been going smoother lately. Every time Dove’s ankles start to heal, I’ve been breaking them again. I just can’t trust them because they tried to escape again. I’ve been enjoying myself a lot more. I can bite them and cut them and hit them whenever I want to. I can taste their blood and chew their skin and bruise their beautiful body however I like. Of course, sometimes it makes me sad when Dove gets so upset about it. I don’t know what to do. It gets me so turned on and riled up like nothing ever has before, but I also want them to love me. They haven’t been fighting back anymore, so I think they’re getting used to it. We’ll see.
12/25/23 -
It’s our second Christmas together. I got Dove a bunch of things they asked for since they’ve been so good. They seem to have given up hope of resisting me, and it’s made me so happy. They even made me a cake for Christmas, and it was so delicious. I’m so happy we can be together again like this, just a happy couple with no interruptions. It’s truly the best gift I could have received this year.
2/16/24 -
I’ve been letting Dove’s ankles and legs fully heal. They truly haven’t been trying anything, and they’ve been so devoted to being a good partner for me, I don’t think I need to break them anymore to teach them a lesson. They can nearly stand on their own now, and they seem so happy. They said it’s because they can hug me while standing, and that made me so happy to hear. We’ve started cooking together again. We’re becoming a happy family, and I’m so glad I was right that Dove is the one for me. They even let me bite them as much as I wanted today, and they let me scratch them too, they didn’t even cry out today. I could tell they were trying really hard, so it made me very happy.
4/25/24 -
Things have still been going well. Their legs have healed up perfectly. It’s been five months since I last broke them, and I think they’re so grateful for it. They don’t disobey me, they do everything I ask, they’re so affectionate and loving with me. It makes me so happy to know that they’re truly settling into life with me. I don’t think they mind how much I hurt them anymore. They don’t complain as much, but they still cry those same beautiful tears for me. I think they’re starting to enjoy it.
5/26/24 -
I have to go on an extended trip for a week soon because of work and I’m nervous. They said they’ll wait happily for me, but I’m still so, so nervous. However, earlier this month I was gone for a few days and they didn’t go anywhere. Dove actually welcomed me back happily. I think we’ll be okay. I think this is it, the true test. I know they’ll pass, but still, I can’t quiet the anxiety in my heart. I’ll have to spend as much time as possible with them and get out all my excitement before I have to leave. I’m going to miss the feeling of their skin beneath my fingers and teeth.
6/11/24 -
[This page has also been smeared and torn in anger. *Another fully corrected version will be at the bottom.]
I — FUCKING BE—VE THEY DI- TH— AG—!!! THEY R— AW—!! THE- STOL- SO MU— —IT FRO- ME!! THEY TO— THE MO—Y I HA- HIDDEN!!!! THE- TOOK FO— AN- CLO—— AN- LEFT!! I- SO FUCK—- ANGRY!!! I'LL K— THEM!!! I JUS- MIGH- FUCK— KIL- THEM!!! AT TH- VER- LEA— THEY— NEVE- WAL- AGAIN! WHEN I ———— NEVER ES— AGAIN! LOCKS, CA—S, CHA—S!! WHAT—— IT TAKES!!!!!!
Dove, you’d better pray to —y FUCKING DIETY in EXIST—— THAT I DON- FIN- —U!!! When I d-, you’re goin- to su——— much for do— th— to me.
--
6/08/23 -
I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!! DOVE WAS TRYING TO MOVE!! THEY WERE TRYING TO LEAVE ME!! THAT STUPID BASTARD [Redacted] TRIED TO TAKE THEM FROM ME! WHEN ALL IVE FUCKING DONE HERE IS PROTECT THEM AND THIS IS HOW THEY REPAY ME?!? I'VE NEVER BEEN SO ANGRY!!!
Dove is FUCKING LUCKY I had the home ready! If not, I would’ve just thrown them in the fucking basement!!! [Redacted] got what they deserved. I beat them so bad you can't even fucking recognize them. I’ll dump the body somewhere else.
6/11/24 -
I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THEY DID THIS AGAIN!!! THEY RAN AWAY!! THEY STOLE SO MUCH SHIT FROM ME!! THEY TOOK THE MONEY I HAD HIDDEN!!!! THEY TOOK FOOD AND CLOTHES AND LEFT!! IM SO FUCKING ANGRY!!! I'LL KILL THEM!!! I JUST MIGHT FUCKING KILL THEM!!! AT THE VERY LEAST THEY'LL NEVER WALK AGAIN! WHEN I CATCH UP THEY WILL NEVER ESCAPE AGAIN! LOCKS, CAGES, CHAINS!! WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!!!!
Dove, you’d better pray to every FUCKING DIETY in EXISTENCE THAT I DON'T FIND YOU!!! When I do, you’re going to suffer so much for doing this to me.
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hellooooo!! congrats on the one year anniversary<3<3
could I request “how mad would you be if i kissed you?” with poe?
(thank you for doing this event!!!!)
All Your Fault
AN: OMG IT'S A FIC-AVERSAY REQUEST!! lol Told y'all I was still gonna answer all of these! That said, I'm betting you probably don't even remember sending this lmao but I hope you can still enjoy it all the same though. Thanks for your patience 💖
(Un-beta’d)
Rated: T Words: 1,068 Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader (written with f!reader in mind but I'm pretty sure this could be read as GN. please correct me if that's wrong) Warnings: kissing, arguing...nothing else I can think of (please let me know if I missed something) AO3
——————
Commander Poe Dameron is, quite literally, the bane of your existence.  
Sure, he’s a great pilot and, okay fine, he’s not a terrible leader but, damn it if the bastard doesn’t drive you absolutely crazy with his needlessly risky plans. You’re not sure if he has a death wish or if he’s just an adrenaline junky, but what you do know is that if the storm troopers chasing you don’t kill him, you just might. 
You run down the narrow hallway of the First Order compound you’ve infiltrated, Dameron in tow, desperately searching for an escape. You spot a door, thank the Maker when it’s unlocked, and pull Dameron inside with you by the lapels of his jacket, glaring at him when he opens his mouth to complain. 
“Shut up,” you whisper harshly, pushing him against the back of the door. 
He watches you in the dim light for a moment, lips parted, breath leaving him in pants. Your eyes drop to his mouth, lingering longer than you’d like, and you wonder briefly if they’re as soft as they look, how they’d feel against yours, how they’d taste— 
Okay fine, so you’re a little attracted to him. That didn’t mean he didn’t still infuriate the hell out of you. 
The thundering of boots crescendos outside the door, (blessedly) breaking you from your staring contest with his mouth. Still pressed against Poe, you swallow thickly, your face warm as you forcibly avert your gaze. Your eyes land on his neck, and you have to ignore the sudden urge you feel to lick the bead of sweat running slowly down the side of it. 
You’re both still as the troopers pass, as if making even the tiniest movement might alert them to your presence. Poe is still breathing a little heavy, the air puffing against your cheek just another reminder of his closeness. You try to ignore it, ignore him, ignore how good his body feels against yours, how amazing he smells. In an effort to stave off the sudden urge you have to bury your face in his neck and breathe deep, you think of literally anything else: your bunkmate’s dirty socks, General Leia screaming at you, taking a blaster bolt to the shoulder— 
The sound of the troopers fades slowly and you breathe a quiet sigh of relief, backing up as much as you can in the small space.  
“That was a close one, huh?” Poe mutters, looking at you warily, as if you might attack him at any given moment. 
Your anger at him rekindles in your chest at the comment and you can’t stop yourself from punching him in the shoulder. He grunts, glaring at you half-heartedly as he rubs the spot where you hit him. 
“No, Dameron, that was stupid. Completely and utterly stupid,” you quietly scold, pointing at him in accusation. 
He scoffs, almost rolling his eyes and it sends another flare of anger through you.  
“Oh, you don’t think so?” you counter, stepping closer to him. “You think your little stunt helped us?” 
He glares at you, leaning back against the door with an annoyed look on his face. “We got what we came for, didn’t we?” 
“Yes, and we’d be out of here and on the ship right now if you’d just followed the plan.” 
“You mean followed your plan,” he mumbles almost petulantly. 
“Is that what this is about?” you ask, chuckling humorlessly as you take another step closer. “Still sore that the General went with my plan instead of yours, flyboy?” 
His jaw tightens and he moves even closer, his voice so low it’s almost a growl. “Your plan is the reason I even had to pull that ‘stunt’ in the first place, sweetheart.” 
It’s your turn to scoff now, rage flaring in your eyes as you move so close to him his chest brushes against yours. You ignore how incredible he smells, even after all the running you’ve done, ignore how good he looks this close— 
“You are unbelievable, do you know that? Absolutely unbelievable.” 
Poe opens his mouth to retort, a mischievous look in his eyes, but you cut him off by continuing, your voice a harsh whisper. “You’re reckless, hot-headed, impulsive—” 
His finger on your lips stops you, your eyes widening in both shock and rage. 
Unfortunately, you’re silent long enough for him to ask, “How mad would you be if I kissed you right now?” 
Your brow furrowing in confusion, lips parting as much as they can with his finger still pressed against them. Instinctively, your gaze falls to his mouth, eyes dragging over his plump bottom lip as your brain reminds you of all the times you’ve fantasized about a moment just like this one. You watch as the corner of his mouth quirks slightly in a smile and know you’ve somehow given him all the permission he needs. 
He leans in, spanning the meager distance between you as he pulls his hand away, tentatively pressing his lips to yours. He’s giving you a chance to push him away, you realize, to decide you don’t want this but…You do.  
You melt into him, pressing your body against his and pushing him back against the door. He groans softly, the sound going straight to your core and you wonder what else you could do to pull sounds like that from him.  
You hope he gives you a chance to find out. 
His hands cup your cheeks, holding you in place as he presses his tongue against the seam of your lips. You part them without resistance, shivering when he licks inside. The taste of him is divine, a mix of sweetness and spice and something so inherently Poe. You could spend hours, maybe even days, like this, just kissing him, enjoying the taste of him, the feel of him. Already you can’t get enough, can feel your need for him clawing at the base of your spine as your fingers plunge into his soft, dark locks.  
You’re forced to break for air, foreheads pressed together as you both try to catch your breath. 
“This isn’t over, you know,” you pant, pulling back to shoot him what you hope is a stern look. 
He chuckles breathlessly, reaching out to trace the curve of your cheek with his knuckles, his lips quirking slightly when you unconsciously lean into the touch.  
“I’d be disappointed if it was, sweetheart.”
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