#but im feeling morally obligated to share this with the world

[chubphoe-linkclick]

They are so pretty

Source: Episode 16 of the shorts (the Halloween episode)

[auschizm]

Just wanted to share a reflection on a nice little area of autism+schizo-overlap

I’m autistic and my best friend is auschitzic and I’ve found that I understand so called “word salad” better than others. (Not just in my friend but also in people I met in the soup kitchen and others who have it)

My pet theory is that perhaps with autism, there are less perceived notions about what someone should say.

I feel others get distracted by the projection that the person “isn’t making sense” rather than just listen.

I think it’s a nice moment of solidarity. We have so much more in common than apart. Especially in the struggles with communication. In many ways we have very similar needs too

Sensory needs, needs for predictability, need for routines, need for very clear instructions, cognitive support.

I see it as auschizm mirrors my experience a LOT and at the same time that the overlap adds an extra layer of marginalization which makes it so that when fighting for freedom, against the coercion and other flaws in healthcare, I see it as us who are autistic or otherwise disabled needing to listen to auschizic and schizospectrum people first.

Oftentimes auschizic people experience everything I do (miscommunication with doctors, coercion while outpatient, financial punishments for cognitive deficits, dehumanization, etc) but a hundred fold.

Similar; same type of things. But at the same time completely different; we who are autistic and only experience minor symptoms of other things from time to time, we have to understand that there are levels of incarceration and violence that we dont have to deal with due to not being schizospec

The way I see it this gives us a moral obligation. To fight in our day to day lives for the dignity of our schizospectrum siblings.

We have to speak up when people stereotype and fearmonger. We have to be vocal in our critiques against psychiatry. We have to fight to make the world accessible for all of us.

Rather than mask because we understood that what was said was meant as a joke, if it was cruel or “unreality” we should still demand it be explained.

Be outspoken about all of the cultural discrimination and misconceptions with our friends who might be even further removed from psychiatry than we are.

It’s like a set of circles where my auschizic friend can tell me about the experiences they heard from others even more marginalized who were in the ward. They are in the middle of the circle. Then is my friend who is mostly outpatient. Who can talk to me. Next circle is people who are neurodivergent but “functioning”; maybe they have jobs and stuff. So I can talk to them. Then those people can talk to people at their jobs etc who are even further removed

We can each do our work in fighting to create spaces. When we are in social spaces, that in and out of itself, is a privilege. We can fight to try to fit others in these social spaces

Sorry about the very long and rambly ask. There are many thoughts on this subject that I have yet to articulate

I guess what I wanted to say was thank you for making this blog. Thank you for creating this space.

It is so important that this gets talked about

Im extremely grateful to get the opportunity to read about even more auschizic experiences and learn more about the perspective

Thank you so much

Solidarity

🤝🤝🤝

This ask is making my morning. I really appreciate your compassion and solidarity! Although I gotta note that I don't believe in simple hierarchies of oppression and discrimination. Like I wouldn't say that a low support needs auschiztic person who is stable and functional enough to live alone and work is inherently more oppressed than a nonverbal high support needs autistic person who needs extensive support and supervision simply because the person in the first scenario has two diagnoses instead of one.

[yellowocaballero]

re: utopia, one thing that i personally find funny is that a popular CN gacha game (damning words when it comes to taking me seriously, i know) just had an arc where the antagonist was a guy following Order that wanted to put everyone into a collective hallucination where everything would be perfect (obv without the opportunity to grow as a person Ever, but well, at least everyone is Satisfied), and him being a jesus figure that would suffer for everyone's sins and be aware of the dream/control it. (man i wonder if they had a naruto rerun while writing penacony)

i really liked it, but i did not anticipate that i'd get two cakes due to my favourite writer tackling similar themes (well they do be as old as time)!!!!1!!!1 and i think that you're really good at getting your point across — you once said that writing a fic is kinda like a dialogue with yourself to you, if i'm not mistaken —, and i always have to clear my glasses after reading your works because they get covered in dried little tear dots from my eyelashes, and what im saying is that im excited to do so again. it sounds stupid. thank you for sharing your work, im incredibly excited to see you unravel the narrative knot into heartstrings. yellowocaballero going to ascend to moirahood on national tv in 2035, keep your eyes peeled, everyone!

anyway sorry for blabbering so much i hope this didn't come across as comparing (though you'd be better obviously) i just crack up every time i think that you got around to writing naruto fic when that arc dropped. the timing is great. prophets of the new age receiving a beam of light telling us about personal growth and lifted jesus allegations. if i ever see you writing fic for honkai star rail or genshin or whatever it's going to be both too soon and the greatest thing i've ever read in that fandom. stay funny (not an obligation or a threat, you can be unfunny if you want, but i don't think the universe prepared for that opportunity. it'd flop into itself like a wet tissue)

Oh, literally I downloaded Star Rail because I was interested in some of the stuff I heard about it. Played it a little and never picked it back up again. I should, I'm just awful about phone games! Not ADHD enough. Maybe I can watch a playthrough...?

I love nice life parallelism. I do think the themes of "the bad guy wants everyone to be happy" is inherently kind of interesting, because it inherently raises a lot of questions - why is he a bad guy, if he wants to be good? What about his plan makes him a bad guy instead of a good guy? What delineates a bad and good guy, anyway? How did this guy get so turned around that he thought badness was good? If handled well, it's inherently a rich character. If badly, then it's just kind of nonsensical and goes against its own messaging.

The "well, the bad guy is right, but since he kills people about it that invalidates his own point" approach is always boring and conformist, but it can be surprisingly hard to shake. I don't think Obito, Madara, and the Ame 3 are 'bad guys who are right morally but with bad methods' - I think they're good people who are so deformed by their world that a hugely destructive evil scheme is the closest they know how to come to goodness. By that logic, Obito had to be written as...deformed. Very much so. But that was what made him so interesting to explore. How do you un-deform that? Is that even possible? When we put him on the good guy team, is he genuinely a good guy who overcame his warped nature, or is he just a warped person doing good guy things? FWIW, I think a big difference between the HSR character and Obito is that what Obito can't partake of this Eden because he thinks of himself as somebody who's far too late to save (also, isn't God/Jesus all about Free Will?)(Calvinists DNI).

I don't think this story gets too sad...it's just too nuts...but, of course, you have to feel sorry for Obito. He wants to change the system that ruined him, but as the evil created by that system he still can't fully see the very important thing that he's missing. We've seen him shy away from the thought already - if only a perfect world can create good people, how the hell do you explain Naruto? As the reader, we want him to be helped. We continue reading in the hope that he will be helped. Thanks for the ask, I really should find some way to consume HSR.

[the1975attheirverybest]

i understand and agree with the implication that if you are willing to date/be friends with a racist that is reflective of your moral standpoint but like just move on and stop listening. announcing it to the world when everyone fucking knows is literally just virtue signalling because what are they going to do? break up? split up the band after 20 years? - 🐸

i feel like somewhere in there you might be implying that Matty's racist? when you say everyone knows? which i dont agree with. i dont think he is, so i guess everyone but me? lol. but also i would hope that what continues to keep the band together is their friendship and love for each other and for what they do. not the tolerance of racism out of obligation to the history they share or the fans or anything. but perhaps im naive. idk.

[hypnicj3rk]

If I'm not allowed to share my sincerely held belief that your religion is a crock of dangerous, evil, dehumanizing, superstitious garbage

Then it seems to me that I don't have religious freedom. But you do.

Because i can assure you, that i hold that view with a passion and solemn intensity that can match anything you have to offer.

It is for me a core, defining belief and a pillar of my whole reality

An absolutely unshakable fundamental conviction

That resonates to every fiber of my being, that your religion is, in fact, a crock of dangerous, evil, dehumanizing, superstitious garbage that pollutes and degrades the world i have to live in. And im not happy about it.

And i feel morally obliged, nay, compelled, to make this known loudly and often, regardless of who claims to be offended. Because not to do so would violate everything that I am and everything I believe in. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, I'd feel like a liar and a coward and, well, something of a moral cockroach. And that would weigh very heavily on my conscience.

Im sure you understand.

[timechaser]

i let this thought go tonight and it will never see the light of the moon ever again so here goes every thought in my mind abt the poppy war trilogy. mind you, a lot of this is just nonsensical dabble and incoherent babbling bc i cant ever form coherent thoughts but whatever.

id pay big money and wage a thousand wars to go back in time and yank every material object out of my hand and out of my reach to ensure that i never even wondered abt the trilogy's existence. it's not that i regret reading them because they sucked--no, far from it. it's not that i led myself blind and didnt take the extra precautions to make sure that i was in the right mindset to read them. i knew what i was going into, what ch21 was withholding, i knew how graphic and how heavy they would be to read. i retreated to my room and poured a stupid amount of hours staring at a screen, at a bunch of words, and feeling such bizarre emotions.

that being said, i love runin. i love how bold she was and how persistent she was despite having her bones kicked inwards from quite literally every person she has let into her life. i love how she was a proper morally grey character, a heroine led astray and betrayed by her very own thoughts. i love her bc even though she was the anthropomorphic personification of a god, she was still human. at the end of the day, what killed her wasnt a higher being, it was the self. that part of her arc cemented her place in my top list of female book leads. i love rin because she was human through and through, all the sides of it, she was everything. reading her was a tough pill to swallow, but a necessary one because she is proof of how dangerous the mind can be to itself, to how dangerous humanity is to itself. and sometimes id wish i could reach into their world and pull her back to ground bc of her recklessness. i love and hate rin at the same time, never one more than the other.

i love kitay even more. never once have i faulted him, he knew what was best, a moral compass for readers really. especially after primarily reading from rin's violent and often irrational perspective, it was relieving to have a voice of reason. theres not much i can say abt him other than the fact that he is my favourite out of the trio, id see it through no matter what. yes i wish he'd said no to bonding himself to rin, to put himself on a compromise, but at the same time i'm glad that he did. kept rin grounded, gave her a sense of purpose other than vengeance, instilled her a sense of duty and obligation--to survive, not only for herself but for him as well. will always defend him no matter what, this boy is clean and he is faultless.

nezha nezha nezha. i tried for three books (and tdf) to like him, truly, but even after all those pages i still dont know how to feel about him. he was insufferable in the first book, honourable for most of the second, and downright pathetic in the third. but if i say that i hate nezha then id have to say that i hate rin as well. they were both children of war, born under humiliating circumstances and forced to take the wager of compromise, they share the same faults. its not fair of me to defend one and leave the other open, they forced the ugliness out of each other. they were tragic. i saw his betrayal from kilometres away, but anticipation did not make forgiveness easier. but i know what it feels like to be brought up as a pawn for ur own family's benefit, to be subjected to so much responsibility when you barely know the world and its wonders, feels like a push to the edge. i cant blame him for that.

in short, im devastated. ive had my tears ricochet on loop since i started the first book. i am but a hollow shell of the person i was before this book. it has altered my life (/hj) and i cant go a minute of my day without thinking abt it. it's incredibly tragic, it's flawed in its own ways but it is also three incredible pieces of literature. rfk did well, im glad i read it while at the same time hate myself for reading the entirety of the trilogy in the span of 36hrs. i dont think its once u can read almost immediately, u need to pace yourself. 5 golden stars from me nonetheless.

[demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol]

Bedtime Reassurances

[image credit to @aloneandblueascanbe​, pls let me know if you want it removed!]

pairing: frankie morales x gn!reader

words: 1.8k

content: one innuendo / reference to sex so 18+ only please, job related anxiety, mentions of a pandemic, one bad word, i switch from present and past tense sorry, another comfort fic but at this point is anyone surprised, soft gentle touches, verbal affirmations, frankie just being the best most encouraging bf in the world

a/n: okay so this is very similar to the other frankie fic i wrote, but i actually wrote this one first and this one has some lines that im really proud of, so i figured i’d share this one anyways!! i hope y’all enjoy this, and thank you so SO much to everyone who read my first frankie fic, seriously i cannot believe how much interest it got and i am constantly blown away by how incredible y’all are 💜💜💜 p.s. my taglists are a mess rn so don’t feel obligated to interact, and pls speak up if you want to be added or removed!

Frankie hums under his breath a little as he walks up the stairs. The two of you had just finished watching a new movie and his spirits were pretty high (although part of that might have been because of your reactions to the movie- your laughter, your smiles, your head bobbing to the catchy music). He flicked off the hallway light before entering you room, at which he promptly paused at seeing you perched on the bed wiping your eyes.

“Sweetheart?” he questions, and you look over at him before sitting up and blinking furiously. “Hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He quickly takes a few steps over to you, but his hands hover by your sides to gauge your reaction to his sudden nearness before moving forward to slide them around your back. The last thing he wanted to do was move too fast and cause you to flinch.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine, I was just-,” you cut yourself off to take a stuttery inhale and a shaky exhale. “Just thinking, it’s not even related to anything.” Frankie tilted his head at you sympathetically as his mouth twisted into a small smile.

“If it has you this upset, I know it’s not nothing,” he paused, giving you a moment to process his words. “[y/n]” he whispered, and at hearing your name you look up to meet his eyes. “It’s me,” he said, with nothing but love and concern in his eyes. “You can talk to me. Please.” You blinked at him a couple times, and took a deep breath.

“I, um,” you stuttered and turned your eyes down, and you felt Frankie’s hand rub up and down your back. After a few deep breaths, you spoke. “I just started thinking about work again, and job hunting has been so stressful. And it all seems so scary. And I know it’s not, and I know I’m overthinking it, but I’m just so tired of starting over. And I’m just tired of not feeling good enough. And I’m sure these feelings are way too complicated over just a new job, but I’m just tired of constantly doing different things, and I know this is just the adjustment period making me feel this way, but I just want to be good at something, just one thing, and just do that one thing long enough to actually feel good about how I do that thing,” you paused to take a few deep breaths and at some point during your rambling you must have grabbed onto Frankie because both of your hands were gripping the front of his shirt. You loosened your grip a little and in response he held you a little tighter. As you met Frankie’s eyes for the first time, you couldn’t help but let out the small whimper at the pure understanding and love from him. It’s still so hard to believe that someone could look at you like that even in such a state. He brought one of his hands up to cup your cheek, and the other one wrapped around your waist.

“I’ve got you,” he said, and there was no way to not believe him when he was looking at you like that. “Just let it all out.”

“I’m afraid, but I’m also tired of being afraid, and I’m tired of not being good enough, and I’m just tired,” you laughed a little, even as tears filled your eyes. “I just want to be good enough.” Frankie’s heart cracks at your words, and as your eyes fill with tears, he feels his eyes start to sting too.

“Mi corazón. I promise you, every single person around you can see just how hard you’re trying. I know sometimes it’s hard for you to see, but every day I am in awe of just how much you do.” He sees your face scrunch up in the telltale way when you try to argue with him, so he tilts down to give you a soft kiss, and when he pulls away he can tell that put you in enough of a daze for him to keep going without you interrupting. “Despite what you struggle with, you get up and you help others, and you work on bettering yourself as a person, and you get stronger and kinder and more loving every single day. And every day I am beyond thankful that you let me into your life, that I get to be with you in the big moments and in the small moments, that I get to experience life through your eyes, because you see the world in such a way that it makes me feel so so young.” That gets a small smile from you, and now Frankie feels like he’s on a roll. “You’re kind to me and you’re kind to strangers and you’re even learning to be kind to yourself. You’re taking on the challenge of becoming a better person while also going after a new job while also doing it during a freaking pandemic.” Your breath hitches at that and while he doesn’t want to upset you, he never wants to upset you, he needs you to know this. “You think you’re behind everyone but you are leagues ahead in areas that some people aren’t gonna realize are important until years from now. And you’re doing that in a world where that isn’t the normal. And baby I am so proud of you,” he chokes up a little at that, and he sees worry creep up into your eyes as your hands come up to cup his cheeks, and ever so gently stroke the spot just below his eyes, already ready to wipe away any tears that might stray. “You are a wonderful person, a wonderful friend, and an even more wonderful lover. And I want you to go to bed, and wake up, and spend every minute of every day knowing that I love you so much and that there is so much good in you, and that you are stronger than any of your fears or anxieties or reservations, and that if you ever feel stuck I will always-,” he bumps his forehead against yours and he looks at you so head on that in that moment you feel he is looking straight into you, that he really does see everything he says he does, “-always, be right there by your side helping you out of the situation because I. Love. You.”

The first thing you noticed were his hands on your face, mostly because the pressure had increased, not in an uncomfortable way, just in a more noticeable way. And then you noticed the way his chest was moving, like saying everything he did genuinely winded him. And then you noticed his eyes, which if your being honest was probably the first thing you noticed because there’s no way not to: their deep, rich color with more depth than any other eyes you’ve ever seen, the almost imperceptible sparkle to them, because somehow this man’s eyes just sparkle, and the way that his eyes are the definition of love and compassion and trust, because there is no other way to describe them.

“Oh my gosh,” you whisper, because how on earth do you respond to that? As you wrap your arms around the back of his neck again and drag him down to kiss him, he pulls you closer as your lips touch and you press further into him because the need to have him so impossibly close is overwhelming. He breaks away for only a second before leaning back in, and he tilts you back to deepen the kiss. Your legs come up to wrap around his and he lowers you slowly all the way down onto the bed. When you break away you keep your hands firmly locked around the back of his head, keeping his forehead pressed to yours as you both catch your breath. “I love you so much,” you finally say, keeping your eyes locked on his. “I love you so dang much and sometimes I still can’t believe you’re here, with me, in our house, with me.”

“You better believe it baby, cuz there’s no getting rid of me,” his mouth cracking into a lazy smile as he nudges his strong nose against yours.

“Never,” you say, much more seriously than his joking tone warrants, but you need him to know, especially after everything he said. “I never want to get rid of you. I need you. I love you.” His eyes soften and while his teasing tone leaves, his smile never does.

“You’ll make it through this sweetheart, I promise. I’m here every step of the way.”

You beam at him, “Thank you Frankie. For everything. Everything.” Your eyes start to droop and he places a quick kiss on your nose before backing away to pull down the covers. You crawl up to the pillows, barely even acknowledging your own side in favor of his. He chuckles and crosses over to the other side, and when he’s under he cuddles you close before pulling up the blanket and securing it around you. “Tomorrow’s a new day, and somebody needs their beauty sleep to tackle their to do list.” You hum contentedly, wrapping your arms around him and slotting your head under his chin. His arms wrap around yours as he presses a kiss to your forehead and noses your hair.

“Well, you are definitely on my to do list because holy shit someone deserves some good sex for what you said,” you half mumble under your breath, and as Frankie breaks into a laugh he tries not to jostle you too much, but you caught him off guard and now he’s pretty much full on laughing, in the way that makes your heart clench a little because you love him and his beautiful laugh so dang much, the laugh that gives you so much pride because you’re the one that made it happen. When he settles down he pulls away slightly to look at you, and you are positively beaming at him, clearly proud of that joke you were able to come up with half asleep.

“Well there’s my [y/n],” he says in that deep raspy voice that only makes you smile more. He leans in to give your forehead a slow kiss.

“Thanks for finding me,” you whisper as you look up at him.

“Ehh, you’ve trusted me with most of your hiding spots, so I’ve gotten pretty good.” You prop yourself up on your elbow and place your hand on the side of his face to get a good look at him.

“But seriously Frankie, thank you. You always know exactly what to say, and I am so unbelievably grateful for you in so many ways.” His face goes as soft as he turns to give your palm a soft kiss, and you lean in one more time to kiss him properly before resuming your position. He gives you a gentle squeeze and it isn’t long until you’re drifting off to sleep in the arms of your love.

tag list: @keeper0fthestars​, @scribbledghost​, @icanbringyouincold​, @bestintheparsec-reads​, @ezrasarm​, @andriecastana​, @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo​, @murdermewithbooks​, @remmysrecs​, @lv7867​

[ophiuchus-interactive]

You made some fair points on originality in IF works, but I'd like to ask, what was the intention of putting your work out there? For others to read, isn't it? That means you and other writers are opening yourselves for feedback and ultimately criticism. Whether or not they are what you hoped for, it's going to happen unfortunately. And when there are similarities in terms of specific things (ie. supernatural detective stories) it's natural for others to draw connections. Maybe the author was inspired by another and created their own spin on the story, or maybe they saw how those elements made the story so well received they wanted to do the same for theirs. Either way, when that level of similarity (no matter how superficial or basic) crops up, it's going to be a point of interest, especially when the earlier work is so popular. It's sad when people accuse authors of plagiarism but it's equally sad to be told off for drawing comparisons when you see them, moreso when it's plain to see. You say you're doing this in your free time so you can share your passion projects with others, and that's great, but please understand not everyone is going to like what you put out and, more importantly, aren't obligated to stick around when it's something they believe isn't as up to par as another work.

My criticism of these comparisons that people draw are not a deflection of people actually criticizing works, but instead the false accusation that is being thrown at authors for having similar stories.

This nowhere near drawing comparisons between works. Stories that have similar tropes or beats or elements are part of a genre. No one is criticizing pointing out similarities- it's when people decide that these comparisons must mean that someone was just copying off of another person. And yes, you are absolutely correct, and I agree with you 100%- no one has to like what you put out. At all. They don't even have to give a reason as to why. What people like and what people don't like- even with the stuff I create and put out there in public- is none of my business. You don't like my story? Cool. You're never going to please everyone, and you shouldn't- focus on the people who do like your work, and go with that instead. But what I was talking about in that post are primarily anons who- most notably with TWC- will often outright attack authors for having stories similar to it. This is not criticism. This is just saying that the author is committing a rather egregious form of theft and claiming it as their own property, when the author themselves have put time, sweat, and tears into the story that they wrote without copying anyone.

Take my anon for instance, who accused me of just ripping off characters I 'liked' from somewhere(?) and bastardizing them into Thane and Rosalie. This is not criticism, this is just them claiming that I have stolen the work of someone else and used it. It is a false claim of something I take very, very seriously as a writer, and it is not amusing to be told that you are just some kind of lazy thief who's mooching off of other people's work. It is not amusing nor helpful at all.

What I am attempting to point out with that post is that not only is this just not criticism- i.e, "im telling so/so you stole their story" or "just admit you wrote this because xyz" it is a rather poor understanding of literature and how people are influenced by things they surround themselves with. There are things such as tropes, and storylines, and genres or ideas that are often used and expressed through media. They may look and feel and go for the same moral, but depending upon the execution of the media- the innovation of what the author brings to the table- it may be a total different product by the end of it.

And that to me, is the most important part of that entire post. It is not the silly and often times false accusations of copying, but rather the lack of acceptance from creative communities- both creators and consumers- that in order for something to be good, it needs to be original. But what the hell does that even mean? Do I have to be like Tolkien, and create entire languages and maps and charts for my world? Do I have to avoid tropes at all costs? Do I have to have the entire story from a different point of view? Does it have to be avant garde?

It can be with these elements, of course, but I think many forget that simple stories with simple tropes and dynamics are okay. It's okay to be simple, and no, it's not copying off another person's because it has similar beats that can be see throughout the entirety of human literature as we know it. You don't have to constantly attempt to have twists or worry that your story isn't "original enough" because it goes from plot A to B to C.

This seems to be flung out the window by those few who think they have some kind of God-given right to make the claim of someone plagiarizing another's work, just because it features vampires or death or whatever the hell is similar to something else.

Accusations are not criticisms. They are precisely what they are- accusations. It is best, in my eyes, to not confuse the two.

[bookwyrminspiration]

(pyro here! i feel like this is...very ramble-y and i apologize if this doesn't make sense, and no obligation to post if it all feels like i'm just going in circles or for any other reason)

this could just be me, but i find keeper to be so interesting in so many ways but mostly because of how little actual good guys and bad guys there are, if that makes sense? it doesn't seem like it on the surface, and the story seems rather clear-cut if you don't think about it too hard, but there's no character or group in the series that's completely perfect and hasn't done anything wrong ever, iirc? like, the council is very obviously not too pressed over whether their actions are morally right and they're the government of a species that's supposedly all about being righteous, and neither are the black swan nor neverseen, which i find really interesting to look at, especially when the protagonists start to realize these things and question them, outwardly or inwardly.

and even any developed individual characters aren't clear-cut. yes, sophie is our protagonist, but she's also an arsonist that frequently breaks the laws of her world and has nearly started a war by breaking a treated because she was curios as to what was in an ogre king's mind. linh is- well, she's the token nice asian girl, but she also flooded an entire city, twice, and has most definitely killed people. dex may not have done anything really wrong, but he still created the ability restrictor, a device that put his best friend through days/weeks of torment, all because he was happy to recieve attention from the council. and that's just three of the main characters.

and i'm under the impression you really don't care about the council (which is fine and totally valid!) but it's still so interesting how the three important characters from there follow this as well. oralie was revealed to be sophie's mother meaning she committed treason and should probably be in exile, kenric was actively hiding important information from oralie (and knew about her being sophie's mother and therefor was a willing accomplice to treason and should also be in exile), and bronte has gotten...better(?) in the later books? maybe?

i suppose im wishing that shannon will deliver on this in the future, but im not really getting my hopes up. sophie is very interesting, but the books have always framed her actions as the right ones to take, no matter how terrible the consequences could've been, and they definitely frame the rest of the "good guys" as, well, good people who do good things, which isn't exactly true in most cases. i just...i guess i find it really interesting. i'd also be interested to hear your thoughts on this! on the surface, keeper really does seem like a rather basic series, but it's cool how if you dig even just a little deeper you start getting messy.

hello pyro !! nothing to apologize for, I love rambling! and you are in luck because I happen to have so many thoughts about everything all of the time.

and I agree with you! When you first think of keeper—or at least when I do—I seems very black and white, even bland at times in terms of the interest of the characters and the aspects of their world. Especially when you’re an older reader and have since read more adult books with more complex characters. Which is common. Because these are middle grade series and there’s more limitations of what topics authors can reasonably cover. They’re being careful. Because their audience are young and impressionable and despite their best efforts may be influenced subconsciously. So they have to lay things out more clearly, explaining that actions are bad when adult readers can put that together themselves.

(I know there are a lot of younger people in this fandom so let me clarify: I am not saying you are incapable of critical thought. However, thorough analysis becomes easier with experience, and adults and older readers will often have more experience with this than you. We’ve also had more time to figure out our own opinions and morals. This is not meant to put you down, just remind you that there are inevitable differences between us).

Back to what you were saying, pyro, despite its appearance, when you take a closer look there’s actually not a lot of black and white—or at least not as much as you’d think. I know there’s a canon line where Sophie says something like “the Black Swan were…the good guys?” (paraphrased from the first book). Which makes sense because at this point in time she’s twelve, where it makes sense for her to have that very black and white mindset. Good and bad. Pleasant and unpleasant. it’s a very all nothing mindset, which I know I also had at that age. But as she’s grown older in the series, she’s thinking about things from a more mixed perspective. She’s bargaining with herself and deciding what’s worth what and if the consequences are worth the risks, making decisions she likely would’ve condemned earlier in her life. Like setting the storehouse on fire. That’s a very loaded and controversial decision from her. It’s neither good nor bad. It accomplishes something she wants—sending the Neverseen scrambling and setting them back—and she decided that was worth the consequences—burning potential information and doing something that might’ve been previously against her morals. It’s not the “right” decision to make. It’s just the decision she makes.

We see this a lot with Black Swan too. I’m actually going to bring their oath into this: “I will do everything in my power to help my world.” It seems simple and straightforward at first, but thinking about it, there’s no qualifications for what “help” means. And there’s no limit on what they’ll do, just that they’ll do it if they’re capable. This leaves it open for a lot of morally questionable decisions, like creating Sophie. Did creating Sophie help their world? She’s already started to make positive changes (like at Exillium) and she’s not done yet, so you could say yes she’s helping. And they were capable of bringing her into existence. So they did. It was in their power and it helped, so they did. Despite using Emma’s body, despite forcing Sophie into this situation.

with the Neverseen, they seem more like misguided anti-heroes (if I’m using that term right), doing “bad” things for “good” reasons. Fintan is making these bold statements and undermining the council, actions viewed as negative, to try and highlight the unfair discrimination in their system and reform it—a motive one could consider reasonable and positive.

as for the council, the most notable event this applies to is Sophie’s ability restrictor in Everblaze. This was not supported by everyone else, actively hurting out main protagonist, but their reasoning was generally sound. Sophie had already broken several laws at this point as was causing unrest in their society, the one they’re supposed to govern. And she’d used her abilities yet again to go against those rules, this time with incredible serious consequences. So if she refuses to listen, what do you do? Take away those abilities. Keep her from hurting this society further. There are more specific examples of this, like Oralie and Kenric’s cache, but this is getting long so i can talk about those later if you’d like /g

part of what is intriguing about these characters is how they’re not so black and white on the surface despite the world seeming to be so easily divided into good and bad, so it’s fascinating to talk about how those parts are actually displayed. You brought up a lot of really good topics and I love talking about this!! /g

if you’d like me to expand on any specific part more or have more thoughts of your own to share, you’re more than welcome to send another ask <33

[urmomsstuntdouble]

If ur still doing the 100 followers thing, well I challenge YOU with deciphering Lithuania.

ok anon thank you so much for asking this question because i have in fact recently fallen in love with lithuania, because they are such an interesting character! (also hhhh im so sorry for how late this is) 

Gender

As you may have noticed, I usually use they/them pronouns to refer to Lithuania. I hc them as being nonbinary and using he/they pronouns, though I personally prefer to use they rather than he in that case because. Idk what pronouns you use. But in my experience it’s really hard to get people to call you ‘they’ when you go by ‘he/they’ or ‘she/they’ or smth like that. Though I don't imagine any of the nations are very attached to their “birth gender” (are nations born???), lithuania is one of those who is a bit less attached. They’re just sort of there, in terms of gender. In my headcanons i also think this has something to do with religion, as lithuania was one of the last european countries to convert to Christianity- just because so much of gender as we know it comes from christianity and what people in the 16th and 17th centuries considered a ‘good’ christian. Thats not to say that there are no gender roles in other religions, but that the way westerners typically conceptualize gender has quite a lot to do with the religious conflicts occurring within christianity. Like you can trace the ideas behind the nuclear family archetype back to the protestant reformation. Additionally, I hc them as being Jewish, which further distances them from the western christian gender roles (though that’s not why i hc them as jewish! More on that later). Finally, i just like myself some trans/nb characters. There’s so few popular trans hcs and that makes me kinda sad ya know? Welcome to the trans agenda its just me projecting onto all my faves

Mental Health

Okay, so, i think it’s pretty well known that lithuania’s mental health is wack. They’re often characterised as being a very anxious person, but i think the ways in which they’re anxious is super interesting. For one, they are extremely conflict averse and like to avoid it by being a sort of people pleaser. It’s a sort of defense mechanism, because nobody can hate you if you do whatever they say. Like, if you let people be shitty to you, they won’t hate you for your personality. This is clearly flawed logic because then people are still going to be shitty to you, but. It makes sense to liet. In their mind, it’s okay to let people hurt if your reason is sound enough- Because if they’re not super emotionally engaged in a relationship that’s unhealthy for them, then they can’t get hurt, right? Of course, they can. A good example of this is their relationship with Russia. I think tolvydas sees compliance as necessary there, in order to avoid being hurt. The thing is…compliance is also hurting them, even if they see it as ‘worth it.’ To them, behaving in a submissive way is a survival tactic. A really bad one, but a survival tactic nonetheless. 

This also plays into their tendency to be self-martyring. I think Tolvydas is very good at fighting, and all around a really awesome warrior (strong aragorn energy), which makes them think that they need to be the one to save everyone. Hero complex, sort of. This, coupled with their almost maternal care for Latvia and Estonia, makes them feel like they have a sort of weight-of-the-world on their shoulders. Though Estonia and Latvia do look up to them a lot, Tolvydas can sometimes fail to realise that they are also their own people and can fight their own battles. He feels a sort of obligation to protect them due to their shared culture and languages as The Baltic Trio, though it doesn’t go much further than a sense of obligation. They spent most of their youth fighting, to the extent that that’s most of what Tolvydas personally knows as ‘life,’ but they never actually got to know the other two Baltics very well until the modern day. They have to protect, have to be a caregiver, but they don’t actually know super well the things they’re trying to protect. It’s both a sense of obligation to protect as well as the sense that this is all they’re good at and as long as they’re fighting for a morally just cause, that’ll do. 

I think something that would expose this flaw would be when they were first taken over by the Russian Empire in the 1790s, they were pretty miserable about a lot of things- Like the loss of all their territory and the sudden statelessness of their people- but a big one would’ve been the loss of Poland. This isn’t meant to be super shippy, but you know. They were united into one kingdom, and they had been for centuries, so i don’t imagine it was an easy separation. Though this is more up for debate where real people are concerned, these characters were essentially a big part of each other, ya know? Regardless of how much Lithuania actually likes Poland, they’re still a part of each other and that separation will undoubtedly be painful. Anyway, all that is to say that this separation was at the forefront of their mind during the beginning of the 19th century, and they let it sort of prevent them from taking care of the other Baltics. The issue with that is that they still considered themself to be protecting Estonia and Latvia, even though, in reality, nobody was. Also in reality, Lithuania was making themself out to be the worst off, and were generally sort of annoying to be around at this point in time. Their whole woe-is-me attitude wasn’t fun, and they were hypocritical in that they saw themself as being a better friend than they actually were. They still see themself as being a great friend, and though it’s improved in recent years, they’re still sort of. Flighty, i guess, where friendship is concerned. There was also a lot of annoyance by the other baltics about them being so self-martyring- Tolvydas was Ivan’s favorite, after all (that’s not necessarily a good thing, but. He was softer on them in certain ways). Anyway, I guess the big takeaway of this paragraph is that Liet often lets their self perception cloud the way they act in relationships. 

Much of the stuff I’ve mentioned so far is a result of them having quite a lot of PTSD. I think Lithuania’s character tends to be explored through a few common lenses, those being the medieval vibes of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth and through being oppressed by the Russian Empire/Soviet Union. Not to say that there’s not a lot of other content about them, but this is what I see most often. I think that all the nations have some form of PTSD, but with Lithuania it’s very pronounced, and it’s made clear that a lot of their tendencies are a result of past trauma- Like the need to take care of others. This is likely originating with their childhood, as they grew up in a very violent environment where their survival was never guaranteed (survivor’s guilt much?) and violence was just the way of things. This is where the need to protect comes from. There used to be several more Baltic nations, though you could argue that now there’s only two- Lithuania and Latvia, as Estonia does not speak a Baltic language and would really like to be considered Nordic. 

Finally, Lithuania is also an interesting character where forgiveness is concerned. I think their sense of morality is very black and white, so some people (Feliks) will be easily forgiven where others (Ivan) will not. In reality, I think it would definitely be valid for Tolvydas to hate both of them, yet they don't- Because they decided that Feliks was a friend and Ivan was not. Both Feliks and Ivan care very deeply about them, but neither treats Tolvydas in a very good way. Of course, I’m aware that the situation in the Russian Empire/USSR and the Commonwealth were very different, but I’m talking about these three dudes and their relationships with each other beyond the lens of politics. Because Feliks tried to be their friend in a way that didn’t hurt them tremendously, and because. Look at them, Feliks isn’t 5’4 and can’t hurt you. They’re not an intimidating person and they’re not incredibly powerful like Ivan is. Though that’s not all of it- Feliks’ feelings for Tolvydas are definitely a purer, more selfless type of love than what Ivan feels for them- it makes it harder for Tolvydas to hold a grudge against them. Whereas for Ivan, their relationship was about control. He needed to control them as a way of expressing how he felt about them. He represents a lot of what Tolvydas fought against in their youth, so of course they hate him. Of course, I don’t think they like holding grudges. They want to be able to care for everyone, because they know that everyone deserves to be treated well and cared for and all that. You can't exactly do that if you hold a grudge against someone, so it actually kind of sucks for them when they see someone they hate suffering. It’s a sort of conflict of interest- The caregiving instincts vs the hatred for this person- and they often don’t know what to do in that situation. Usually they wind up helping but not happy about it. They just don’t want to see others suffer, despite the fact that they dislike this person (Russia is of course the exception. They don’t want to help him at all anymore). 

Relationship with family

So, this is a bit of an interesting topic. I think the Baltics consider themselves family just because of what they’ve been through together, but they’re not actually blood related. Though they share similar cultures, and languages, they’re just not related. Maybe Lithuania and Latvia are cousins, but yeah. Lithuania sees themself as the head of their little family, as they have the oldest surviving European culture and language. They sometimes get in their head about that, and can act like both a mom friend and a mom who is bad at mom-ing. It’s a sort of self appointed thing, and can be really annoying to the other two. They don’t pay the utmost attention to their fellow Baltics, and are more concerned with physical well being than emotional well being, so, despite establishing themself as a caretaker, do not wind up actually caring for the other Baltics in the ways they need to be cared for. 

Fighting style

So, as I’ve mentioned, Lithuania is a talented fighter. They go hard as shit, and can very much kick your ass. I think they prefer to be very technical about how they fight, with something boring like a broadsword as their weapon of choice, but are not afraid to fight dirty. Like rip off an ear with their teeth kind of playing dirty. I think they take fighting very seriously. Though Lithuania as we know it is only about 800 years old, I think Tolvydas is much older. The definition of a nation (a large body of people united by common descent, history, culture, or language, inhabiting a particular country or territory, according to the oxford dictionary) does not require there to be a central governing body, so I think it’s quite possible for Lithuania to be well over 2000. Anyway, all that is to say that they didn’t grow up in medieval times, so by the time they’re like. Achieving dominance in Eastern Europe, they’re already very old and well versed in many different styles of fighting. In the modern day, I think they’ve learned more different fighting styles from other parts of the world, but will always fall back on the way they learned how to fight in ancient times. 

Religion

So as I mentioned earlier, Lithuania is Jewish in my headcanons (orthodox, specifically. I think they're kinda traditional). I have a couple reasons for this- There has been a historical presence of Ashkenazi Jews in Lithuania, going back to the 13th or 14th century, and this is due to certain legal protections granted to Jewish people under pre-Commonwealth law. They were legally on similar footing to the average free people of Lithuania, and were able to create a slightly more prosperous community than Jews in other areas of Europe. This was also affected by the Black Plague of the 1340s. Orthodox Jews tend to put a high value on cleanliness, and often have two sinks in their houses (my childhood home, for example, had two sinks, and i lived in a majority jewish area). They also happened to be concentrated in Eastern Europe, due to the protections. Because of this, Eastern European Jews have some of the highest sruvival rates for the Black Plague and actually brought up the survival rates of the region as a whole- Though this also resulted in some intense antisemitism, as many Christians blamed Jewish people for the plague even happening, due to their higher survival rates. Despite various expulsions  and the loss of legal rights, the Jewish population remained relatively steady up until world war 2. Jewish people made up about 10% of the total population of Lithuania in 1941, and 45% of the total population of Vilnius. (To put this in perspective, the entire world population is only about 0.2% Jewish). Anyway, all this is to say that it’s not out of the question for Lithuania to be Jewish. 

Extras/Fun stuff

Lithuania loves reading, especially the fantasy/fairy tale genre. It makes them nostalgic without the trauma of reading historical fiction. 

They’re also very musically gifted, and can play the piano, bass, ukelele, and flute. 

They wear docs.

They love hot chocolate. 

They remind me of both Aragorn from lotr and Hozier. They’re such a sweet lad. 

Bicon who has like 5 people thirsting for them at a given moment but is either oblivious or not looking for a relationship right now. 

Here are my fics with lithuania as a main character!

My previous character analyses of lithuania (sorry they’re mostly in shipping contexts, rip) and another good analysis someone else did

My playlist for them

and i think thats it! of course i could always talk more about them, but those are my thoughts for now! thank you so much for the ask, i hope i was able to meet your challenge! 

writing requests

[kuroopaisen]

@kacchand (i couldn't tag your main but i wanted to make sure you saw this fdlkjfdlkj) 

hello dear! i’m sorry it took me so long to respond to this dflskjfdlkfdj i decided to answer your ask in a text post so i can link my thoughts to yours more easily! also, i know i'm going to Ramble, so i wanted to be able to keep it under a cut sdlkfjd

Hi rowan!! I've just finished the final chapter of aot and I just wanted to ask your opinion on it!

(SPOILERS THAT DEPICT MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE STORY'S MEANING AHEAD. READ ONLY IF YOU'VE FINISHED THE CHAPTER)

(FR )

(THERE'S STILL TIME TO BACK OUT)

(DO IT NOW. SPOILER ALERT)

I'd also like to ask a follow up question about it, because it seems that I've come to a different concl. from many of my friends and I'm feeling dumb abt how i feel w it.

first of all (and i say this as sincerely as possible, and if i'm coming off as condesending please let me know hh), please don't feel dumb because you've come to a different conclusion :(

we all read media at different levels (i’ve been told it’s ‘not that deep’ before fdljkfsdlkj) and identify different aspects in it, so the fact that you've had a different experience to some of your friends is absolutely not a reflection on your intelligence. and if anyone's making you feel that way, drop their @. i just want to talk :) furthermore, you’re not wrong for responding to something emotionally, especially if it really... makes you uncomfortable, you know? 

i'm from the PH & I've put off determining whether i'm comfy w the manga til the last chap,,,, but is it wrong that I can't shake the feeling that it's a justification of japanese expansionism and genocide? ik this manga has always been in the grey area, and that's what I love abt it! It often shows that no choice they make is absolutely good or bad, and does such a good job at showing you how each complex character came to that understanding (role of environment, etc...) but this last chapter felt too positive abt the rumbling? Like it was justified because paradis was able to advance and there wasn't much choice? idk.

that's totally valid! some of the best think pieces on the show i read mentioned that the concern with the narrative is less "is isayama a nazi sympathiser?" (he most likely isn't), but if he's a imperial japan apologist. and...

well, let's just say that my father is british, and when i was trying to say that colonisation was bad, using british india as an example, he said "well, we gave them railroads." it's... it's uncomfortable and gross and i think it encapsulates how countries with imperial pasts tend to talk about them; even if they don't officially endorse it, there's often a lot of talk about how "well colonialism was good for this country, actually--"

and if the manga felt like it was justifying japanese expansionism, then chances are it had elements that very much did point towards that. i've had a lot of trouble grappling with reiner, annie and bertolt, because they've existed in this grey area of 'victim of oppression' and 'war criminal'; and their existence raises the question of "do people who commit war crimes simply do what needs to be done?" and by victimising them it... it plays into the whole nuremberg defense of "i was just following orders". it's making you feel bad for the people committing said war crimes (and similarly with eren, and all the awful things he's done). but i'll get more into this point later dsfkjfd

i haven't read the last chapter yet (and don't worry about spoilers! i've been approaching aot from a very... specific perspective anyway, so i actually don't mind spoilers -- i read a bunch of analyses of the series before i'd even watched it hh), but... i think if it came off as too positive about, you know... an awful thing that happened, then it absolutely makes sense that you'd feel uncomfortable?

the modernisation narrative in general is one that always skeeves me out. it's one japanese imperialists use to justify the invasion of korea (and even those infamous tweets from the one account purported to be isayama talk about how the population of korea boomed under japanese imperial occupation, which... stop.)

it's also commonly invoked in cases of development. certain members of society (usually the poor), just 'had' to die for the good of the future. who gives a damn if they consent to that? they have to.

similarly, the 'we had no choice' narrative. that's... a concerning one that crops up time and again with history apologists, the argument that "oh if x country hadn't done y, then someone else would've!" or that acts of aggression were done as pre-emptive self-defence, which is so... ugh. i just. i just hate it.

It also feels really weird w the ymir and the whole loving fritz thing. i wish we got to see more of her thought process and what conclusion she came to that led her to destroying the power of the titans.

i... hate this so much. i get that abuse is complicated and victims often have multifaceted feelings towards their abusers, but... most people would focus on that in their story? the story would be about that? but instead, it's just... a thing in the history of the world and that's... icky.

also having the genesis of the titans come from a slave girl in love with her captor... there's many levels of ick to it and i highly doubt it was handled with the appropriate level of grace and sensitivity.

honestly, this might be one of the things that pissed me off the most because of how... contradictory her backstory was with That One Chapter (you know, instead of ymir crying because she wants to be free or because she’s been trapped she........ wants to see mikasa kiss eren’s decapitated head? i guess? what the fuck?) 

idk...I just think that context is sometimes everything. and i understand that media can portray incorrect things,,,, and that isayama likely didn't intend for it to become a global sensation, but i guess i'm just uncomfortable w the right wing nazis getting a comfort book ahaha.

i totally get that! even if attack on titan is meant to be anti-fascists, the fact of the matter is... a lot of fascists love it. and relate to it. which is... alarming. especially given just how popular aot is worldwide.

it’s hard because before the ending, attack on titan did feel like it was more grey; i remember saying that i wouldn’t know how to feel about it until the ending because the story was either saying “the military is corrupt and war is hell”, or it was saying “the military is corrupt and war is hell, but it is necessary.” 

still sorting out my thoughts, but yeah. I think i'm having a hard time understanding what they really accomplished with the rumbling and how they gave eren a sudden lelouch role and a lot of how they made it out to be a happy thing? perhaps I'm too biased to see it fully but to me it gives a "woah. eren was a hero. he saved us from destruction. those people needed to die for us to achieve this temporary peace and new start". i suppose the rumbling gave them a levelled playing ground?

OH MY GOOOOOD okay. i haven't finished code geass. but i really don't like lelouch. i mean... i think i just don't like characters that sacrifice other people for a purported 'greater good' (i could write an Essay about how much i hate erwin smith looking at him is enough to send me into an unhinged rage), but where i'm up to in the anime, i don't like the direction they're going with eren? i mean, i've never liked eren, but... that whole "martyr for the eldians" is just. ew. especially when you see several eldian characters disagree and resist him. 

why does this one guy get to make choices for everyone else? because he’s sPeCiAL? fuck off 

sorry for not being coherent. maybe i'm basing this too much on feelings ahaha. trust aot to finish it's scandalous run with a scandalous end.

no omg you're being perfectly coherent :( also, if anyone's making you feel bad or stupid for how you experience media, they’re... definitely not as smart as they think they are fdslskjfdlk. 

i'm of that mind that, while media consumption is in part an intellectual exercise, it is inherently very emotional; narrative media tries to make us feel as much as it makes us think. that’s what stories are for, you know? intellectual analysis is well and good but what’s the point of a story if it doesn’t make you feel anything?

that's to say, i don't believe there's such thing as basing your opinion too much on feelings :') especially since it's your personal experience with a piece of media; you don't owe anyone 'objectivity' (which is always a farce when it comes to this sort of thing) or 'logical analysis', because nobody's got any right to criticise you for engaging with media the 'wrong way'.

tl;dr I feel like the mood was too celebratory abt the rumbling, and didn't entail enough on the tragedy so much that it felt like a justification for genocide and expansionism. how do you feel abt it's ending and the message it leaves? is isayama responsible to give a morally correct answer to the cycle of hatred? you're not obligated to answer! and sorry for the rambling.

hhh yeah i guess that’s the thing at the end of the day... is isayama responsible for giving a “morally correct” answer? no, but the way the ending plays out is very telling. 

like armin thanking eren? mikasa’s e n t i r e character boiling down to being in love with a mass murderer no matter how poorly he’s treated her? and one could argue that kind of ending is supposed to be unsettling, supposed to hint that the cycle will just continue, but...

framing is everything. and it’s framed like a Good, Emotional Thing, Aren’t We So Grateful Eren Did All Those Awful Things 

YI think I would've been fine if we got to see more of Eren's or Yif you have a different perspective on how eren is being portrayed please do share! I just felt really yucky watching armin say "thanks for murdering all those people for us" with love,,, I suppose he was trying to make eren feel better. ach maybe I'm just overreacting. idk. im dumb ahaha . i'll send this in anyway cuz I'd love to hear your take!

HHHHHHH i just hate eren and i never got him. i felt bad for him in the beginning, but he's always been too... violent for me. there was a very short period of time in season 2 where i felt bad for him, but otherwise it’s just been... ugh. the main three have always been the weakest part of the series imo, so it’s really not surprising they’re part of the reason the ending was so. bad. 

and... well, that one infamous quote pretty much sums up my issue with armin. he's supposed to be the 'intelligent' one, but he's hopelessly devoted to a homicidal maniac with whom he has a very artificial, unbelievable bond with.

at the end of the day, the "thank you for becoming our monster" thing just makes it seem like attack on titan's core message is "war is horrible, but it is necessary." it feels like it's justifying massacre. and while fiction is fiction, and sometimes it's as simple as that, i think something as politically loaded as attack on titan needs to be looked at with a critical lens when discussing what it’s trying to say or what it means. 

do i think it makes someone a Bad Person for liking aot or being attached to it in some way? no, because that’s dumb, and what media someone likes =/= their Moral Goodness TM. ofc trends are a thing and certain pieces of media appeal to certain types of people, but it’s a false equivalency that misses the point. 

but by that same breath, nobody is wrong or stupid or has Less Valid Opinions just because what they took away from it makes them uncomfortable. 

i’m sorry this is So Long i have so many thoughts about this dskljfslkj 

but at the end of the day, 

levi sexy

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[adcres]

         howdy hey , pardnerrrs :> i’m rox ( she / her ) ‘n i’ll be playing yr residential sullen broodin’ boy , nico . i didn’t have the time to write out a whole new intro , given that i have back to back classes again today :-’( , so please forgive me for recycling his old intro akawodkgrsd ; . that being said , i did tweak around some tingz and i updated his wcs for him , so if yr down to clown around just hmu on my discord :   𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔫𝔦𝔞#2854 !  okie okie , i’ll shut da eff up now ♡ 

BASICS.

༉‧₊˚✧ kim taehyung , cis man , he / him / his — did you see that nicholas “nico” yoon was trending last night ? the twenty three year old street artist has been getting a lot of press lately . i think it’s due to them being so + quixotic & + free-spirited , but i always thought they seemed - withdrawn & - sybaritic . their fans always say they remind them of soft smoke rings spun in a dreamy haze , silver-ringed fingers rapping against polished oak , and waning light refracting against broken glass though . i wonder if they’ve found out about REDACTED yet … i guess we’ll have to wait and see . [ rox , 22 , pst , she / her , none ]

PINTEREST & PLAYLIST .

01 and 02 .

PERSONALITY .

at first glance , nico reads as this aloof , arrogant type that doesn’t like to associate w the common public . always keeping the majority of people at a comfortable distance , nico moves almost exclusively within his own social network , and doesn’t like to deviate from what he knows best .  

not so much pretentious as he is lazy , making an effort to socialize with complete strangers is simply something that nico would never do . hehe ... he’s kind of shy like that .... ♡ though he’d literally never admit it ♡

despite giving the impression that he’s some intimidating and chronically indifferent kind of guy , nico is genuinely a sweet boy — ‏‏‎ one who’s in a constant state of confusion as to why people seem to be so scared of him . it always comes as a shock when close friends of his admit that they thought he absolutely hated their guts when they first met him .

b/c tho he’s p smart , nico is very oblivious at times , and he’s 100% the kind of guy who’ll walk away from a conversation thinking he did a rly rly good job trying to make a friend ... when in reality he prob said four words in the span of thirty minutes smh .

overall , nico’s a private person , especially with what he’s thinking ... and it’s really hard to get a clear read on what’s on his mind . sharing his feelings has never been one of nico’s interests b/c he just genuinely doesn’t think whatever he has to say is rly worth mentioning . so he usually just shuts da fuck up n lets other ppl talk so he can mentally gain the strength to continue socializing .

push nico’s buttons enough tho ‘n you’ll catch this mf speaking in full sentences .

lastly , it should b noted that nico is a romantic through n through ... this mf probably d*ed in the victorian era ‘n got reincarnated b/c he’s got that ‘ lets share furtive glances across the room but never say a thing to each other  ‘ thing on lock . mr. darcy headass

and while nico might play the role of long-suffering , ever pining lover to a T , he’s more in love w / the idea of love than he is w / any single person . and he literally cannot hold down a relationship w/o fucking it up for himself in some shape or form .

kind of sarcastic ... v much the teasing type .... 

can b very impulsive at times , loves to go on solo adventures at night , prefers his own company tbh ...

overview : melancholic , reticent , noncommittal , humble , mild-mannered , romantic .

a mix of : josh from clueless and j.d. from heathers

more here .

MORE AESTHETICS.

the chill of silver jewelry against flushed skin , forgotten graffiti on porcelain sinks , flickering motel lights , kisses sticky with vodka , eyes ringed with lavender , sleepless nights surrendered to the dull buzz of television , obscure art house films , sun-kissed cheeks , the surprise of summer rain , chest aching with lost loves , scattered baby’s breath and rosemary , and a shared smile between perfect strangers .

CHARACTER DISSERTATION.

nico was born on a brisk wintry morning in the fashion district of los angeles ( january 21st , 1997 ) to a family of six .

as the second youngest child , and the only male son to boot , nico grew up with his only inheritance being a generational kind of hunger , one that demanded for more than what his struggling parents could offer

the arts stole nico at an early age ... ushering him into a world of creation and freedom beyond the four bleak walls he daily occupied . from spending lonely summers tucked away in some forgotten corner in the library to practicing on a borrowed violin from dawn to dusk , nico knew that even with nothing at his disposal , there was always something to be made w/ the tools he’d been given  

despite not having the money for private tutors to hone their son’s growing artistic talents , his parents did whatever they could to support his dreams , whether that meant working double shifts back to back or scrounging for loose change underneath the sofa cushions to pay for whatever materials nico needed .

it was in this strange way that nico grew up p spoiled . somehow having nothing while also having absolutely everything at the same time .

very much a family man , the first big purchase nico made once he broke out in hollywood was a house in beverly hills for his parents . now that he’s finally at a place where he can take care of his family , nico makes sure that his parents and sisters want for nothing

while he showers everyone else with generous gifts and obscene amounts of money , nico doesn’t particularly feel comfortable doing the same for himself . he’s a simple man through n through . one who’s content to spend his time walking his dog late at night , listening to a podcast on his airpods , instead of going out to a club w/ other well-known socialites .

a true artist at heart , nico refuses to conform to the current trends of hollywood , instead insisting on wearing thrifted clothes to important galas — ‏‏‎much to the frustration of his PR team and the chagrin of his stylists . but none of the choices nico makes seems to surprise anyone anymore . driving flashy cars and wearing designer clothes has never really been his style , after all . and it’s important to him that he remain authentically himself despite everything .

WANTED CONNECTS.

pr relationship ( open ) : someone that nico is contractually obligated to date ... i could totally see there being drama ‘n tension from having to pretend to actually like each other ... would b better if they rly did not like each other at all ... 

fwb ( open ) : buddies who bump uglies sometimes ... they both agreed they’d never catch feelings for each other but we’ll see ... 

frenemies ( open ) : someone that grinds nico’s gears but they’re a friend of his friend ... so they’re forced to keep it civil . i can see them exchanging hateful comments in the back of their friend’s car while simultaneously posting pics of each other on ig to keep up the rouse . 

unrequited crush ( open ) : likely nico would not realize if yr muse had a crush on them ... but it’d be fun to play it out like a kdrama anyway heh heh

a close friend group ( open / any ) : i thought it’d b so cute if there was like a small group of friends , maybe 3-4 ppl , that do stupid shit like ditch going to celebrity after-parties to break into abandoned buildings , get real high , ask stupid ‘ would u rather ‘ questions , and do sum main character type shit ... yk what im puttin down ... ‘n nico is def the type to open up in the presence of extroverts so i think having a group of wild outsiders of diff bgs would b v inch resting ..

enemies / rivals ( open / any ) : tbh nico prob rubs ppl the wrong way since he has resting bitch face ‘n never wants to talk to anyone .. so im sure there r ppl who just do not like this mf ... and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ...

bad / good influence ( open / any ) : nico’s known to mount his high horse often ... mr morality over here ... so i just know he prob would butt heads w/ the residential troublemaker . tho nico’s artwork can be controversial and out of the box at times , his art style and his personality are at constant odds , and it’d b interesting to have that bad influence / good influence dynamic w/ someone .

family friend ( open ) : someone who grew up w/ nico in dtla ... couldve gone to the same public school as him ... or their families couldve gone to the same church ...

ok my intro post has become a fucking behemoth so im going to stop here ‘n just say i have so many more wcs in mind so if u wanna plot lets just talk hehe :>

[strangcrdoctor]

∞Last Marvel Meta Field Notes for the night is for Ant Man. This set is a lot more lighthearted than other recent entries but that’s because the other movies are so deep in Marvel mythos that they’re just. An investment. An investment I love, but an investment. Because AM is an origins movie, however, it’s more light-hearted and independent, and a hell of a lot of fun.

1. So obviously the building under construction during the meeting Hank had with SHIELD in 1989 is obviously the Triskelion (which Steve blew up in CA:TWS), but I like that mid-construction as it was in that period they showed the bays where eventually the helicarriers would eventually be housed. I’m a little curious as to why SHIELD built those bays so large thirty years before they had helicarriers planned, just. You know. As a question. 2. Scott Lang is every single one of us that has worked a customer service job and who is over-educated, over-qualified, or frankly just too done with that shit. 3. The Yellowjacket Presentation is in fact 1000 times worse than the Jericho Presentation in IM, and Cross Technology within Pym Tech is shameless about marketing to the rich and paranoid and zealous. The whole moralistic argument that Cross makes when selling the Yellowjacket armor is the kind of shit that rich white supremacists would eat up, which is precisely why he ends up with the clientele he does. However, I do find it interesting that AM included a direct tie-in Carson being a part of SHIELD in the 80s and then being the person that arranges for the business deal Cross gets with HYDRA. 4. Cross is literally “crossing” the boundary into godhood, or something possibly worse because it’s not that he fashions himself as a god so much as he completely disconnects from any sense of morality, law, or respect for life. To date he might be the most ostentatiously disgusting villain, but it’s because his brain is literally rotting. And I know that can be a prickly subject when talked about in the wrong light but Cross doesn’t just have a mental disorder - he has physically melted his brain-pan and his morality and concept of justice are fucked because of it, which feeds into why he’s so creepy but also why it’s arguably creepier that his nihilism attracts fascist supremacists. Like I even liked Stane better than this lord. 5. While I understand Scott’s ex’s complaints about visitation rights, there’s a complex legal process that has to be walked through before legal action can be taken (so her schlub cop fiancee is keyed to be a defensive moron), but since Scott is still technically the father they’re obligated to set up a court approved parenting plan before they can bar him completely. Like any attempt to totally bar him would have to be put before a court and no real court given a good prison record and attempting employment would keep Scott from seeing Cassie entirely. He’d have restricted hours, but they couldn’t legally out him even if based on financial reasons. Not that he could afford to sue over that, but still. 6. Even though Hank and Hope are still jagged people and won’t ever necessarily slot into one another’s lives perfectly, the portrayal of a difficult adult father/daughter relationship is refreshing for Marvel. It’s a complicated and touchy subject no matter who you are, but again Scott steps in as a sort of mediating factor in both of them understanding that their relationship can’t go on as it has and that something has to give. Scott isn’t the one who “fixes” them so much as Scott is the person who breaks the ice, and from there he lets them have their space to discuss their hardships which is a very real and very adult set of exchanges. Nicely done, Marvel. 7. I appreciate Hope loving kicking the shit out of Scott. I just. That’s it. It’s great when she’s proud of his progress too, but I like that we get to see a woman reveling in beating the tar out of a guy. 8. Just ever so slightly more on why Hope still gets to be angry at Hank about her mother, it’s impressive to me all the same that even while Hope points out why she has every reason to think the way her dad handled the situation wasn’t okay, Hope also identifies immediately the guilt that Hank was carrying all those years for killing his wife and being the reason her mother died. Hope is so much the big person in that talk because she could continue to rant and rave, but at some point adults let go. Adults live with not getting closure and handling it well or badly, and Hope has spent her whole life trying to process that trauma. By the age she is, she doesn’t need reconciliation to function, but when she gets it she appreciates it and makes a point of acknowledging the truth of the matter because she’s sorted a lot of her feelings on her own, though she hasn’t sorted all of them. 9. For a really interesting period for Hank to be involved with historically, late Soviet brinkmanship is a really poignant choice. The USSR was changing leaders like the British gentry change hats, and even though the Cold War was in decline the tension between countries was also relatively at an all time diplomatic high. With America tangled up in what came after the Vietnam and Korean wars, and headed headlong into the Gulf War, Russia saw its neighbors getting hemmed in from all sides at its weakest moment and did try to pose as many major problems for its enemies as it could because the communist regime was losing, and they couldn’t accept that. Regardless of whether or not Hank bought into the ideology, Hank’s connections to SHIELD - and by unknown association HYDRA - would have been an especially tense one in those years because of the intelligence war that was really seriously being waged during that time. Hank also would have seen it as the worst a country can do when they’re backed into a corner and afraid, and he didn’t want his technology to inspire that in any person or any country because he knew what the results would be. 10. Scott Lang is actually the WORST thief because he has the personality of a jilted millennial mixed with a golden retriever, and yet somehow is the BEST thief because he’s brilliant and versatile. 11. Cross literally selling out to Hydra is the least surprising thing because let’s face it fascists go for the lowest hanging fruit and Cross is it. 12. Also little man Hank Pym who will punch a bitch just because. He knows he’s not going to beat the tar out of them, but he’ll punch them if and when he wants to. 13. Kudos to Pym for being so paranoid that he carries a damn actual tank on his keychain “just for emergencies.” That’s actually a step above and a step ahead of Tony Stark in some ways. 14. Also it figures that Cross calls it the Yellowjacket because yellowj ackets are the asshole of the natural world and everyone knows it. 15. The visual aesthetic of the sub-atomic realm in AM is a predecessor and also thematically similar to the view of the Multiverse that Doctor Strange gets. Especially one level of the sub-atomic world exhibits mirror-dimension type qualities and even if they’re independent the visual similarity and parallelism is striking to note. 16. Scott and Paxton having a real shared-dad moment that’s not toxic masculinity? Fuck yes. It’s awkward yeah, but when both of them get over their own perceptions of how they are the better dad for Cassie, and especially when they see that both of them would die to make sure she’s okay, them getting to have that genuine moment of “you’re okay” and “thank you” is very cathartic for paternal masculinity in general because it circumvents the need for competition to be the only point of contact between them. 17. Cassie adopting the giant ant because she would. I hope she names him Ant-hony too without ever knowing that’s what Scott called 247. 18. Luis I think is the most hilarious Marvel side character to date and I honestly don’t know what the Ant Man movie would be without him. Scott is amazing at offsetting the seriousness of the plot aspects of the film but Luis is the keystone for where Scott’s humor and irony comes from, and where the actual absolutely necessary comedic aspect of Ant Man comes in and I appreciate him greatly.

That’s all for tonight guys. More to come later!∞

[miseriathome]

I feel bad for inadvertently using the OP of the last post as a platform, so I’m making a new post to comment on this subject. [Previous chain]

@clickclick4

i really like this “you as an individual are not morally bad for your power-wielding identity, and here’s how you can wield it to help others” idea, that’s important.

I do have one question about that concept, though, related to the “white savior” thing. I know that as a white person, it’s important to use my white privilege to combat racism wherever i see it, but I’m currently having trouble looking at both of these ideas at the same time, which to me suggests cognitive dissonance. My question is basically, how do I use my privilege to help others without doing the bad stuff that a white savior does? (sorry for the clumsy phrasing here, im gonna start another paragraph to clarify what i mean by white savior stuff)

From what I understand, the white savior thing is when white people decide that nonwhite people need to be saved from themselves, or interfere in their intercommunity conflicts, and then put themselves on a pedestal as their morally superior savior. and it’s bad for obvious reasons, and also because it involves the white person glorifying their own culture & community despite its flaws and structures of oppression (a phrase i just made up, so please ignore any connotations it might already have, cus i dont know them) in favor of imposing its flawed and oppressive values on a society with its own different flaws and oppression structures. (that mayve been a sentence fragment? but please bear with me) basically the white society points at nonwhiteness as the reason for the nonwhite society’s flaws and structures of oppression, instead of recognising that it’s because of the way humans are. like a sorta people-who-live-in-glass-houses thing.

i do sorta see how it’s different, but im still not sure how to keep from putting myself on a morally superior pedestal when i wield my power to help others. basically im having trouble figuring out what method of thinking i should use to look at it. i dunno.

im gonna go ahead and tag you, but please dont feel obligated to read through all this and do the emotional labour of answering if it’s not something you personally want to do.  @miseriathome

Sorry for the late reply--this has been sitting in my drafts for a few days.

Identity has no inherent moral value, but actions do.

A post about allyship is on my to-do list, but it is sort of difficult to draw lines with regards to where an ally should stop before stepping over their bounds. Obviously the idea of the people who are conditionally accepted to engage with Western society (ie PoC) being the root of Western’s society’s flaws is racist and just generally terrible.

I would say that people with social power have to break down what they are trying to accomplish when they “help” other groups. Boosting voices and engaging with others’ stories to better understand their experiences is good. Seeking to “fix” problems one doesn’t share is bad. So no “this could be better if you did X” but yes “I’m going to commit myself to education and I’m going to deflect a much harmful stuff as I can from the vulnerable class.”

With regards to that last bit, what I mean is that if somebody asks for a definition of a simple term in the context of a complicated and nuanced discussion, you can do some light education so that the actual speakers don’t have to derail to constantly respond to the outsiders looking in on them if their ultimate goal is intra- or intercommunal conversation. Likewise, if a point has been reiterated multiple times, it’s up to allies to boost it in the face of nay-sayers who would otherwise sap activists’ spoons with constant slander and negativity. As a real-world example, white activists at protests should shield black protesters from the police, but make no moves to speak to journalists on their behalf. But even individuals in the same activist group will have different opinions about how far is too far--especially if you’re boosting one side of a very split conversation. So at a certain point, you should be ready for criticism no matter what--just be receptive. The essential question that allies should always ask themselves is “where am I coming from when I engage?”

I hope that helps. I tried to keep it on the short side because I didn’t want to get too far into a rabbit hole of social commentary over advice.

[caredogstips]

Isabella Rossellini:’ There is no work between 45 and 60 – you’re in limbo’

At 43, Isabella Rossellini was sacked as the appearance of Lancme. Now, 20 years on, shes been rehired. She talks movies, her father, Ingrid Bergman, and her rollercoaster life

In 1996, when Isabella Rossellini was about to turn 44, she was sacked. After 14 years as the look and spokesperson of Lancme cosmetics, she was told in no uncertain terms that she was past it. Beauty advertising was about the reverie, executives told her , not the coarse actuality, and women dreamed about being young; the actors face would soon become an undesirable remember of the ageing process. And so, despite Rossellinis insistence that eternal youth was neither her daydream nor that of any woman she knew( she replies she told Lancme that the new reverie was to be independent, to be strong, to insist yourself ), she was replaced, preferably humiliatingly, by the very similar-looking Juliette Binoche dark whisker, pale skin, full cheeks, high-pitched cheekbones only 12 years her junior. Heartbroken at future prospects of losing her task, her central generator of income and two seconds family of colleagues, the mother of two expected a elderly executive what she was supposed to do next. He alleged, Rossellini withdraws, I am not your wet nurse.

It was pretty rough , without doubt, it was difficult to, she announces now, as we sit in a grand, flower-filled area at the site of the violation, Lancmes HQ in Paris, where, at 64, Isabella Rossellini is all smiles and once again the ace entertainment. My daughter was 10 and my son was one, and I was a single mum. I announced and was depressed, and I worried financially. As a fortysomething single father of two myself, I tell her I can well dream. What Im struggling to understand is how, when Lancme called her simply eight months ago to ask her to return to the bend, Rossellini didnt suggest they jostle their mascara up their derriere and construction it.

She is unfathomably magnanimous. There was that sense, when a sidekick wants to know why I was going back, she agrees. I said, Because Im flattered, Im exceedingly touched, I miss them. Its very personal, but I dont know whether Im being forgiving. Rossellini says the company from which she was expelled is now most varied. When I was here 20 years ago, the secretaries were women and the bosses were husbands. The manufacture was one of men forming commodities on the understanding that makeup was for seduction, she says. But I employ makeup on even if I go out with my sister there is a pleasure in the gesticulate. I was not understood.

Significantly, the labels CEO is now a woman, Franoise Lehmann, and it was she who obliged the most recent ask. Having propelled expeditions fronted by Penlope Cruz and Lupita Nyongo, she felt it was high time Lancme celebrated older age, more. As Rossellini justifies, Last year , Lancme turned 80, and we were thinking, what was life like for women 80 years ago? They couldnt vote or own their own apartment its stunning. We wanted to reflect the liberation of the status of women that has been so strong in our century.

Ingrid Bergman and Roberto Rossellini with Ingrid, Roberto Jr, Isabella and Renzo in 1953. Image: Rex

Having been born into scandal, Rossellini had ensure her “mothers ” drop-off contaminate of sexism and double touchstones. Ingrid Bergman met the administrator Roberto Rossellini on the make of Stromboli, fallen in love and contributed birth to his son while still married to her Swedish spouse, Petter Lindstrom the parent of Isabellas eldest sister, Pia. Despite a profession as an Oscar and Tony award-winning performer, and perhaps because of her likenes as a modest, elegant manifestation of womanhood( Bergman had just played Joan Of Arc ), her success was eclipsed by her adultery. In March 1950, in the wake of the circumstance and her precede wedlock to Rossellini, Bergman was denounced on the flooring of US Congress by Senator Edwin C Johnson as a atrocious lesson of womanhood and a potent force for cruelty; she was, he suggested, an debate that actors should undergo background checks before being employed to entertain Americans. Despite Johnsons belief that out of Ingrid Bergmans ashes will grow a better Hollywood, the proposed bill substantiated futile, but the arguing marred her vocation and family life. Bergman temporarily lost custody of Pia and retreated to the more forgiving European film industry. She and Rossellini later divorced, sharing joint detention of “their childrens”, Roberto Junior, four-year-old Isabella and her non-identical twin sister Ingrid( an academic who educates Italian literature ).

Bergman remarried, but Rossellinis childhood persisted involved. She and her siblings lived between New York, Paris and Rome, remain in hotels and accommodations with a nanny, her parents and step-parents taking it in turns to drop in and spend time with their seven collective juveniles, who were understandably close( Rossellinis trademark chipped tooth arose when her 12 -year-old brother hurled phone calls at her look. Bergman announced for three days, but Isabella decided to keep it ).

With her baby, Ingrid Bergman. Picture: Rex Shutterstock

Before contacting her teens, Rossellini spent six months bedridden and two years in a body cast to correct scoliosis, or curvature of the backbone. She had no intention of following her father into the film industry. I come from a generation of women where, though my mother was a far-famed actress and had a big career, we always presupposed in the family that she was gifted with a tremendous flair so she was an exception, a freak. The other women in their own families might work, they are likely not work but, the majority of members of all, you are a good baby and you marry.

She was, nonetheless, assessed to be financially self-sufficient from a young age. Her father-god, sarcastic of coin and commercialism, had died with merely $200 in his bank account, while Bergman had entrusted her own financial affairs to controllers and been repeatedly burnt. My mom never operated her fund. It was frightening for that generation. Women[ in their own families] ever gave it to the men to take care of. I did say to my mum that I was going to take control of my own fund. I had visualized what happened if you dont.

At 25, while working as a television reporter, Rossellini was sent to interview Martin Scorsese, who was promoting his cinema New York, New York. They hit it off, inaugurated dating and got married. The resulting revelation have all contributed to pattern presents, and very soon Rossellini was working with photographers such as Richard Avedon and Bruce Weber, and appearing on the report of Vogue,( much, she has said, to Scorseses hassle ).

With then husband Martin Scorsese in 1981 in New York. Photograph: Getty Images

Despite this relatively late start in modelling( I didnt know prototypes were 14, Rossellini once announced ), Lancmes contract made her the highest-paid simulation in “the worlds” when it came in 1982. In an sarcastic event of record repeating itself, the contract contained a decency rider( much like the contracts of the 1950 s Hollywood studio system ); this was soon quite scuppered when Rossellini became pregnant by a modelling colleague while segregated from, though still technically married to, Scorsese. Later, she would appear as a drag tycoon in Madonnas 1992 Sex volume, to the fear of Lancme, who worried that beings would think she was gay.

Given the pious moral imposed on her and her mom, I wonder if Rossellini ever reflects on how much weve changed. I have a feeling that its went worse, she articulates. My parents paid a bigger price, but the latter are unique. Nowadays, theres paparazzi everywhere. Its likewise the organised fame thought the red carpet has become a undertaking. Sometimes we insure the actors, and we know their reputations, but not necessarily the cinemas they were in. Its not exceedingly petitioning to me, because I dont been in love do red carpet. Its like a charm contender, and I think everyone appears awkward about it. A mas of performers are very shy parties. There are a few who love public attention, but theyre a minority; I guess performers like to act, and they like storytelling.

Rossellini has often said she opts pattern to action, which minimise her great aptitudes. She tells me simulating “ve given me” the confidence to act. Both my parents were very famous, so I was reluctant, but simulating gave me the be thought that I could dare. Her iconic act in Blue Velvet, as the bereft mother and lounge singer accepting shocking abuse at the mitts of Dennis Hoppers Frank Booth, prevailed her an Independent Spirit award in 1986. Director David Lynch originally missed Helen Mirren for the character, but Rossellini urged him to cause her a chance; the pair went on to become a duet for six years.

With Kyle MacLachlan in Blue Velvet. Photo: Rex

Wild At Heart, her next campaign with Lynch, won the 1990 Palme dOr at Cannes and, ironically, just a year before leaving Lancme molted starred in the critically acclaimed camp-fest Death Becomes Her, in which Rossellinis character sells the secret of eternal youth to desperate ageing housewives in Hollywood. I wonder if, given that role, and the sacking from Lancme soon afterwards, she herself became insecure about her advancing years?

Rossellini cheerfully contends she made a clear distinction between her professional and personal life: When youre young, there is so much pressure, because you work, you need money. As you grow older, the focus becomes clearer and clearer, if you like. Nothing ever talks about that, how wonderful it is to grow older. They ever talk about wrinkles, but ageing is interesting, wrinkles or no wrinkles.

Despite implicit pressings within the movie and beautiful industries, she has repelled reconstructive surgery( as someone with an acute radar for even discreet undertaking, Id stake my reputation on her illusion being wholly without involvement from either needle or knife ). In 2012, Rossellini took part in the documentary About Face: Supermodels Then And Now, and responded, Sometimes I wake up and think, Is this the new technology? Tells go and do the operation. But the majority of members of the time I wake up and think, Is this the new paws bind, is this the new road of being misogynist, is this a new way to tell women theyre ugly, is this a new channel of telling women they should be this and this? And you commit standards that are impossible to be reached, because the underlying problem is misogyny.

She is, she tells me , not interested in chasing perfection. When parties tell me, You seem so glamorous, you search sophisticated or stylish, its fantastic. But when people say, Youre beautiful, I find it a little deigning. Worse now, because they say, Youre still beautiful. In Italian, we say its a bayonet with both hems, because I know that they represent it to satisfy me, but its almost like alleging to a black lady, Youre not so light, you dont seem so pitch-black. I am old-time: this is what 65 looks like. She is irritated that her generation isnt better gratified for. There is no fashion for women my age, Im sorry to say. She tugs at her charming navy silk tunic. This, I designed myself, because its hopeless to find acts that arent for simply one form. It has to be scrawny, or it has to be sexy I dont just knowing that going on in fashion. I point out that sleeves are as easy to find as black orchids. Exactly! “There wasnt” sleeves. I crave sleeves! You cant find them.

I wonder if it isnt old age that Lancme and Hollywood couldnt deal with, but middle age. Geena Davis, Michelle Pfeiffer and Holly Hunter, all big stars in the 1990 s, struggled to get good employment opportunities in their 50 s. Rossellini agrees: My mum told me that there is no task for women between 45 and 60, because you are in-between. You are not young enough to play the young girl, but you are also not old-fashioned enough to play the matriarch, the voodoo or grandmother. So there is a period of 15 times where youre in limbo and they dont has been able to hire you. Then after 60, a great deal of work coming through. That was true for my mum. And you realize, Maggie Smith is the hottest happening on Earth. Helen Mirren is the hottest act on Earth. Then there is this gap.

Rossellini fell right into it. The movie characters thinned out and, while barely in the desert post-Lancme, she was forced to create her own opportunities. She launched a short-lived but very good cosmetics route, Manifesto, for women of all ages and skin colours. She wrote and performed speeches, made a documentary about her father, performed in plays off-Broadway and took on enjoyable activities like a cameo in Friends, as Rosss dream woman. She bought a small organic farm, investigated animal action and preservation, and studied guide bird-dogs, though she lately had to stop after some lead tugging justification her to drop-off and disable her back.

Guide hounds are labradors and golden retrievers, she excuses. I could have broken my back, so I imagined , no more teaching large-scale hounds! So what I do now is whelp and its fascinating. Like a pup doula? Exactly. They communicate me pregnant momma, they have the puppies, then I keep them for 2 month and distribute them to all the voluntaries for guidebook puppy training.

With her daughter, Elettra, in 1985. Photograph: Rex

She had been blithely withdrawing from showbusiness for a year when she was offered a part in Joy, the romantic humor starring Jennifer Lawrence and Robert De Niro, best friend of Scorsese, with whom Rossellini has remained close. She stopped cashing her actors trade union pension cheques, rejoined the workforce and, in the wake of Joys popularity, was offered a estimate gig on upcoming world TV demo Master Of Photography and a role in a drama.

She still oversees the farm. All the person or persons at “the farmers ” thought where I was, because I was hurtling again. For the moment, I try to manage it all, so well see how long it lasts, this burst of wield, she tells, taking nothing for granted. But she affection TV, and thinks it more attractive a hypothesi for full-grown females performers and onlookers alike. The conjecture I have is that the movies forming “the worlds largest” money are realize for young males, and thats why they are these large-scale war movies. Not because full-grown females dont like them, but because we have a family to create and so we work, “were about” babies, we cook, we are the caregivers and we have careers. So at night after dinner, we cant go out and watch cinemas. She detects television streaming on Netflix, Amazon and online boxed situateds please open brand-new and far more inclusive potentials. I think there will be a lot of actresses wreaking again, she smiles. Im doing a series announced Shut Eye, and first of all I never expected to be a leading role in something again. Im a contribute with other actors, but I am a extremely, very substantial proportion. Theres a whole new audience of ripen people who can watch 45 instants of television and then was sleeping. So its highly fragmented. We dont have these large-hearted phenomenon series where you have the entire country watching, but you have enough parties to establish numerous series, tell many stories.

I wonder if Rossellinis story, as the simulation, pastured middle-aged woman and then back again, is one she wishes she didnt have to tell, or so liberally forgive. She smiles. I feel that its a story and this is the last chapter. Its a glad ending.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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