#but im insane and its on youtube specifically.

[orbdotexe]

okay yknow what. the TFE playlist as of today. it is all over the place. i am cringe but i am free and also you should read the tags:

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead - Set It Off Ninth Life - Ivycomb Music Used To The Darkness - Des Rocs (yeah. from the trailer. shh) Heart - Fishymom Everybody Gets High - MISSIO You Can Run - Adam Jones Bury Me Low - 8 Graves Forrest Fire - AJJ All the Dead Kids - AJJ C'est La Vie - Weathers Don't Look Back/Don't Wait For Me - trashyinferno Farewell Wanderlust - The Amazing Devil Canary In a Coal Mine - The Crane Wives (PLEASE) Monster - dodie We Don't Talk About Bruno - lydia the bard Soleil - Lizz Robinett (not the original i just like her cover of it) Phantom Feelings - CJack (Wolf n Zavala. kill me) Cut My Fingers Off - Ethan Bortnick Engravings - Ethan Bortnick Between the Rains and the Times - Reverse: 1999 Gladiator - Jann You Only Know - Phemiec The Bidding - Chonny Jash (original by Tally Hall but CJ turns it into an entirely new piece of art. oh my god) OVER & OVER - Rio Romeo A Crow's Trial - Vane Castaway - Kroh Be Nice To Me - The Front Bottoms you smell of dead flowers - Cliesel version Rain In Soho - Mountain Goats Overgrown Garden - beetlebug

[fellhellion]

men will never fail to review perfect blue and not interogate how integral misogyny is to understanding the film's critique of idealisation (and by extension, idol culture for women specifically)

[bogos-bint3d]

Oooooooo you wanna find me great incredible Undyne centric content that I haven't seen before and will be consumed by ooooooooooo

[maraschinotopped]

vlc media player.......... why are you not playing any youtube videos........................

[craycraybluejay]

saw this video and it made me think about quitting vaping again. probably won't be for a good while but does anyone have any advice for a high 24/7 nic intake without smoking or vaping? like do i just use a bunch of patches or a bunch of gum or what? quitting will be hard enough as is without a psychotic break and i don't really intend to ever fully quit *nicotine*, just smoking. i don't really care about dying early but painful and unfixable chronic illness i do care about. so yeah if anyone has any advice that'd be sweet.

also, as an aside, i love this video. it IS scary but it's not guilt-trippy or judgemental. it doesn't fully cover the positives of smoking but it does gloss over them which is more than i can say for most anti smoking resources. and you know? this is the first time something like that has really gotten me thinking about quitting.

anyway yeah advice pls because as some of you who have been following me know, nicotine is an essential antipsychotic for me as well as an anxiety/stress reliever. also withdrawal was awful for me when i tried to quit i might've offed myself if i didnt stop. cuz on top of withdrawal (which for me comes with appetite issues, bad headaches/migraines, physical weakness, cold/flu like symptoms, excessive coughing, and an overarching feeling of absolute doom like the world is going to end or someone is about to murder me), i pretty much immediately entered a transient quasi-psychotic state which only enhanced the doom feeling with paranoia, hallucinations, thought loops, and other.

so yeah basically when i do decide to quit; how do i stay medicated sans ruining my lungs?

[flojouno]

sorry minecraft smps have altered my brain chemistry forever do you still like me

[blueskittlesart]

hiiiiiiii so um. ik a while back you posted a doodle of yourself with short hair and i’ve been thinking about cutting mine short—do you have any tips about picking a style or anything that might not be obvious about having short hair?

oh fuck yes I do! I've had short-medium hair in a few different styles since I was thirteen (im 20 now, so it's been a while) and I recently buzzed my head for the second time so i'm pretty experienced in this area lol!

first thing you should know is that if anyone has ever suggested that you don't have the "facial structure" for short hair or that you're not gonna look good with it is full of shit. no one tells men they don't have the face for short hair. i promise it's gonna look good. chop that shit off

in terms of style, be aware of the amount of work the style you pick is going to take. when I first cut my hair short the reference photo I gave my stylist was of a heavily styled cut--something that would take gel and hairspray and a lot of effort to maintain every day. The base cut was fine, but it didn't look like my reference photo without a ton of effort on my part, and at 13 I wasn't really willing to put that kind of effort in, so my hair ended up unstyled and kind of flat and weird for a while. if you're someone that doesn't like to put a ton of work into styling their hair every day, pick a style you can just wake up and go with. my personal favorite lazy bitch haircut is the buzzcut that i currently have. insanely low maintenance and comes with the added benefit of stopping weird men from talking to you in public. perfect haircut.

Also be aware of how your cut is going to grow out and/or how often you're going to have to get it trimmed to keep it looking the same way. that was something i remember being really surprised about when i first cut my hair off--when your hair gets to a certain length, it grows more slowly and you don't have to cut it as regularly to maintain its health and your look. when you have shorter hair, your hair grows FAST, and if you're not planning on growing it out you're going to need much more regular trimming to keep it in check. Make sure that that's in your budget or that you have the time and skill to trim it back yourself! Alternatively, if you're planning on growing it out after the cut, look into how it's gonna grow out so you know what to expect in terms of look and styling. I like to buzz my head mid-summer and let it grow out for about a year before shaving it all off again, because I know that I like all the stages of growing out that cut and I know how to style all of them. there's always gonna be an awkward stage of growing out your hair, but make sure that you're not gonna spend a ton of time hating your look just to get your length back if that's your plan!

my final advice: if you're looking for a specifically masculine haircut as an afab person, do not go to the same older female stylist you've been going to since you were 10 years old. trust me. You can show that woman a picture of a whole grown man for reference and you will still be leaving with a karen cut. she is incapable of giving you what you want. Either try to find a stylist who you trust to use your reference faithfully, go to a male barber, or cut it yourself! especially if you're going for a simple buzzcut or something similar, it's really easy to cut your own hair at home with a pair of electric clippers from amazon. I've been cutting my hair with safety scissors and some clippers borrowed from a friend for going on 4 years now. it's easier than you think!! youtube tutorials are your best friend.

now onto things you might not know:

listen to me. this is the single most important piece of advice i can give you. buy spray-on sunscreen and SPRAY YOUR FUCKING HEAD. there is no hell like a peeling sunburn all over your fucking scalp. it will happen and you will not expect it and you will want to die. you are going to think your hair is thick enough that it won't happen and it is going to happen anyway. do not take chances with this shit

you do NOT need nearly as much shampoo and conditioner for a short cut as you are instinctively going to put in your hands after years of having long hair. think, proportionately, about the product-to-hair ratio you were using BEFORE your haircut, and do not squirt out more than like a nickel-sized pool of product at the absolute most. your bank account and your hair will thank you.

short hair still needs to be taken care of especially if you're bleaching/otherwise chemically treating it regularly! if you're putting harsh chemicals in your hair you should be using restorative treatments afterwards regardless of length. no matter how short your hair is it can still get stringy and gross and break!!

in that same vein, you CANNOT be applying bleach to your short hair in the same way you do for your long hair. listen to me. Drugstore bleach cannot be sitting directly on your scalp for more than 20 minutes. if your hair is short, any amount of bleach you put in it is going to end up sitting directly on your scalp. i know it's tedious to do multiple passes but chemical burns are even more tedious. please do not put bleach on your skin

also in regards to bleaching/color, keep in mind that your semipermanent color is probably going to have less longevity in your short hair than it did in your long hair. Since all your hair is close to your scalp now, it's taking the brunt of your shampoo regimen and therefore the dye is going to wash out quicker than it would in long hair where most of the dye is further away from the scalp. if you're regularly trimming your hair to keep it your desired length, you're also going to be cutting out a lot more color than you would by just trimming dead ends on long hair. you may find yourself spending more on hair dye if you dye your hair regularly!

[prontaentrega]

something i’ve observed while watching videos of Videogame Men talking about punishing indie games is that they’re always like this game is INSANE HELL DIFICULTY it will BEAT YOUR ASS it will MAKE YOUU CRY AND CALL YOU A BABY!!! and then i play the game and it’s not that bad and it turns out the gamer with the youtube channel may just not be very good at this specific kind of videogame. and im not a Gamer whos Skilled at videogames i dont know how to aim and i only care about games that are 70% reading. and its never an AVGN type guy its always the video essay introspective I Have Deep Things To Say ones doing this. I’m not talking about shit like dark souls btw i mean like pathologic or fear and hunger. Which are games i feel are gonna wreck your brain only if youre wayyy to used to like, aaa first person shooter or high profile rpg-elements sandbox games.... like i’ve seen people call disco elysium a game that’s hard to get into gameplay wise. but i think if i gave my 50yo dad disco elysium and left him to his own devices he wouldnt have a hard time learning the gameplay ropes of it because he’s not brain poisoned by skyrim. like sometimes the problem is that you haven’t dedicated your middle school years to playing shitty indie horror rpgmaker games with a lot of unfair instakills and shitty puzzles.... and now you automatically assume the obvious way to beat a game is thru sheer violence and skill so the moment a game puts you in a position of Uh oh maybe you can’t kill this guy even if you get really good! maybe inflicting as much violence as you can isn’t the way forward! it makes videogame men go 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 is this the hardest most challenging videogame EVER?

[atthebell]

belllll do u wanna have any sexta do medo vods u recommend need something to watch::333

dec 8 was pretty good-- that nun game was actually pretty fun to watch

nov 3 was probably good? i remember the name of lempo so it might've been fun idk

oct 13 was very good hollow cocoon was a super interesting game imo

fear the spotlight was pretty fun (he played it across days so here's the youtube link)

chants of sennaar INCREDIBLE game highly recommend his vod its great (another yt link; this one's not horror at all but it's about languages and translation :D)

and if you want more like specific game vod recs well im insane so i have plenty

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

DAZIA

First Impression: hes like. okay? funny definitely. chuuyas my favorite concept wise because hes what i was introduced to bsd for and ranpos my favorite characterwise. dazais just there like everyone else i guess! ←he did not know

Impression Now: GRGRGEGGEGHSJJRHRRHHRGGRGRGRGEJSHSHRHRHRHRHGRHR BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU i want to take him out on a nice date and then take him home and watch tv and make dinner and and and cries sobs explodes

Favorite Moment: DUNGEON SCENE- (i am assassinated immediately). to be normal though god i really love the 15 LN fight. i am not immune to that. his conversation with kyouka at the end of the guild arc, when shes on the moby dick. thats so everything. any time hes with atsushi. does that count. entirety of hoshikawa 15 adaptation. if you let me keep talking i will literally list every time hes on screen.

Idea For A Story: usually i would have many but actually thinking about things on purpose shuts my brain down fhfbdndn recently ive been thinking of persona 4 style shadow confrontations and i think sending dazai into one of those would be insane for him. otherwise uhm reaction fic. I love reactions. well detailed reaction about dazai in his entirety not a moment left uncovered.

Unpopular Opinion: everything i say about him is unpopular going by the shit im exposed to via YouTube. everyone but me and my mutuals are wrong about dark era and mori and chuuya and akutagawa and atsushi and the ada and his mental health issues and- actually speaking on that i dont think hes ever WANTED to kill himself. especially including pm dazai, who joined to find a Reason To Live. and i dont think hed have like. very obvious panic attacks??? which is smth me and the ao3 and gacha girlies very heavily disagree on apparently. he feels like the type to pace around for an hour on the edge of one. he absolutely can and will cry also. the stage plays understand me in this.

Favorite Relationship: wow i wonder what itd be hm checks list ME X DAZAI THATS RIGHT YOU'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED ‼️‼️‼️ TRICKED ‼️ okay but actually yeah obviously very clear soukoku girlie here but i have a VERY soft spot for souheki but only in my specific way. nobody else gets them.

Favorite Headcanon: moles and freckles and curly hair. his hair is darker and flatter in the pm because he doesnt shower and its greasy. he needs glasses but doesnt wear them. tboy swag (beastzai is also but doesn't address it. to me). aroace but not processing any of that yet. autism. points at him hair twirling stim 🫵.

[dear-ao3]

the saga of saphs terrible, horrible internet

so my friends and fellow romans, as some of you may know, i am currently at home while i wait to go galavant off to the other side of the globe for my study abroad. being at home presents a great many challenges that i will not get into at this time, but the top one is the internet connection.

now i am the proud owner of a 2017 macbook and an iphone se. the macbook was bought refurbished 3.5 years ago and the phone was bought new last august when my iphone 6s finally crapped out 2 weeks into junior year of college. i take....decent care of my electronics. and, this is an important detail here, the phone has an unlimited data plan.

i have never had a problem with this phone. it works great, occasionally it buffers in certain spots on campus that are kind of dead zones due to the buildings being massive blocks of concrete, but it always works, even despite the shitty school wifi i have because i can turn the wifi off and use data. the computer hates the wifi a little more, but i can still usually get it to work with minimal issues.

until now *cue dramatic music*

i have to be at home (my parents house) for a grand total of 18 days. which is not very long. and while at home i had some stuff to do, all of which required me to have an internet connection (fighting the financial aid office, talking to brad, researching grad school, purchasing textbooks, buying the last couple things i need for my trip, etc). i have also had to be in quarantine (long story) so essentially i have been confined to my room.

the internet has always been a little bit meh in my room, with certain spots not working the best (due to the fact that i am furthest from the router) but this is the same room that i took zoom classes from for 2.5 semesters, plus a summer class and a j term class with 0 issues, so i was confident i could make it work.

well. i was wrong.

the first two days went fairly normally. but then, a steady and rapid decrease in internet quality began.

and yes, i am aware that me complaining about internet quality is a very first world problem, but i am stuck in a house with my parents and it is miserable and i just want to facetime brad.

on day three i became unable to send a text message unless i was connected to wifi.

on day 4 i could only connect to wifi if i was standing in one specific spot in my bedroom and even then it didnt always work and would usually drop off by the time i walked back across the room

on day 5 facetime stopped working

on day 6 even standing directly next to the router didnt do anything and plugging into our sole ethernet cable only provided me with mediocre internet

on day 7 i had a mental breakdown and watched youtube all day at 144p complete with buffering that added a good 10-20 minutes to any video.

on day 8 i told my dad that in my deeply unprofessional opinion something is deeply wrong with our router and he said well its just cause your room is far away from it

on day 9 (today) i walked downstairs to get my up of tea in my big christmas tree mug and my dad said "our internet is being very slow, i am going to have to look into it"

oh

wait

you mean

to tell me

that the internet

isnt working?

golly goodness gosh

i didnt know

its not like it took 3 minutes for the blank post im writing right now to load and 30 minutes for a 10 minute youtube video to load and that i get kicked off the wifi if i so much as tilt my phone slightly to the left

its a miracle i havent gone insane yet i swear

[nezz-cringe-crib]

Education with Lawrence & Toni: INDIE ANIMATION THAT U NEED TO WATCH PELASE SOMEBODY PLEASE

I DONT EVEN WANT TO DESCRIBE WHAT THIS INDIE ANIMATION IS ABOUT BECAUSE ITS JUST SO MUCH BETTER IF YOU RANDOMLY STUMBLE UPON IT???????

I RANDOMLY STUMBLED UPON IT ON YOUTUBE AND IVE NEVER BEEN MORE INSANE ABOUT A SHORT INDIE ANIMATION LIKE THIS BEFORE. I ADORE INDIE ANIMATION AND I LOVE SUPPORTING ARTISTS BUT THIS SPECIFICALLY IS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE OF ALL TIME????? I LOVE THE ACTING, THE REPRESENTATION, THE WRITING, THE ARTSTYLE AND ANIMATION STYLE IT ACTUALLY HURTS??????????? IM NOT EVEN GONNA SPOIL THE ENDING BUT GOD IT TUGS AT THE HEARTSTRINGS. IT AT LEAST REALLY DID FOR ME. SHIT GOT ME TEARING UP AND ATTATCHED TO THESE MOTHERFUCKERS

GUYS PLEASE MAKE THIS A FANDOM GUYS PLEASE THEY DESERVE IT PLEASE IM ONMY FUCKING KNEES GUYS

[masalafilmsrevival]

Hello! I'm writing a final Essay about Indian parallel cinema or new Indian cinema and I kinda got lost, there are so many movies and themes to explore! since the deadline is pushing me, I don't have much time to explore it deeply, i've watched Charulata and Apu's trilogy but couldn't move forward from there. (all of them mind-blowingly amazing btw) Could you please please please give me some direction on which way should i keep looking/researching or any of your favorite themes that are recurring in 50's-70's Indian "new wave" films ? anything would be really helpful. Thank you in advance, hope you have an amazing day!!

oh my god, i did not see this until now as i typically only see notifications for this blog when i'm on desktop, i'm so sorry!! i really hope this isnt too late to respond. okay so i'm no expert but just some thoughts:

so obviously its a film movement that originated in bengal, a lot of parallel cinema is bengali indian OR bangladeshi, i'm not sure if theres a specific reason you're focusing on indian parallel cinema for your essay but thats something to keep into consideration especially because it spans past the 70s well into the 80s and somewhat 90s so after the independence of bangladesh. and that does impact and put context to the narrative of many films

the themes that are recurring tend to be class consciousness and disillusionment, religious and racial discrimination, casteism, more frank portrayals of the topic of sex, marxist thought, the burden of patriarchal society and expectation, to some extent borderline nihilism in my opinion, essentially the polar opposite of bollywoods pristine glamorized and polished portrayal of life and society that borders on science fiction from how removed from reality it is. in spite of it often.

if you want an outline of some filmmakers, actors, and films that can give you a decent idea of the movement, off the top of my head:

films i can think of that will give you a decent understanding of the tone and themes of the movement at least:

mirch masala

a river called titas and cloud capped star

donkey in a brahmin village

the apu trilogy and charulata as you said as well as devi and shatranj ke khilari. (the coward is also one of my personal favorites but not a necessary watch)

mammo, mandi, and bhumika

dont cry for salim the lame, the strange fate of arvind desai

arth

rat trap

maya darpan

duvidha, nazar, uski roti

quintessential filmmakers to at least get a decently rounded understanding (in my opinion):

saeed akhtar mirza

mani kaul

satyajit ray

ritwik ghatak

shyam benegal

mrinal sen

actors whose work or work during the period of early parallel cinema to look to:

smita patil (!) (probably the most important to look into if youre interested in this movement)

shabana azmi (early work)

madhabi mukherjee

soumitra chatterjee

 naseeruddin shah (early work)

om puri (early work)

all of this is really just what came to mind immediately, i had planned on writing up a comprehensive summary of parallel cinema and what i considered essential viewing and themes and i will do that eventually, but i wanted to answer this as quickly as possible so i could easily be leaving out an insane amount of things. also i primarily used the english translations for these films unless i couldnt remember them. if youre in the usa (and maybe outside of it as well im not sure) MANY of these works or works made by these directors are on youtube or archive.org. i hope this is of some help and eventually i will post more comprehensive detail + scans of books i have about this. hope this helps someone and you have a good day!

[juniperhillpatient]

ok I accidentally clicked a rage bait video & got sooo mad & now I have stuff to say. gamers who can’t handle controversial or taboo subject matter (first of all you’re weak) who insist on playing & discussing the coffin of andy & leyley anyway are annoying for numerous reasons but I think a specific thing that really just… grinds my gears the wrong way is the argument that the game exists “for shock value.”

well. first of all. I have to introduce you to this insane mind blowing concept in the world of horror where it’s occasionally meant to shock & horrify the viewer. I know. I know. take a second. take it in. it’s a lot.

but also. DUH a game with genuinely horrifying content is playing on that in its marketing??? obviously? sorry you’ve never seen horror marketed before ever I guess.

but it’s also so deeply unfair to one of the most compelling & well written games I’ve ever seen to just… Idk. reduce it to shock content?

when I first introduced myself to the game it was because of the incest & cannibalism. yeah. Im not ashamed or fake enough to not admit that obvious truth lol. I’m sorry that’s kinda it’s whole gimmick / marketing ploy let’s not like. pretend that’s not the main stuff that draws people in. but the actual amount of time we spend on those topics??? outside of subtext??? it’s minimal.

you have to make very specific choices to even see the demonic vision of the siblings fucking because it’s horrifying to Andrew & Ashley’s response that “maybe this is a way to keep him around…” Is like. Deeply depressing & telling of her mental state.

this is not like. a soulless porno game that just does this stuff out of nowhere? not that there’s anything wrong with that! I’m not shitting on porn. I for real genuinely don’t see a problem with people enjoying fucked up porn if they want to that’s just…. genuinely & actually not what this complex horror story game is & it sucks that it tends to get reduced to that?

I just find it so insulting to the incredibly talented writers of this crazy fucked up & nuanced story about abuse, codependency, & choices none of us ever wanted to make to reduce it JUST shock value schlock.

and this is NOT an insult to shippers. I’m a shipper. it’s just me saying it’s so unfair & stupid to hate on this game like it’s some kind of random shock value generator & not a smart piece of creative fiction when you’re clearly just not mature enough to handle the dark themes idk. this is literally all a reaction to annoying YouTubers don’t worry it’s no one I’ve seen on here lol ok anyway bye

[no-stupid-questions-official]

My laptop keeps opening microsoft edge help and its making me go insane (literally/halfsrs) what is causing it and how can I make it stop. I mean it does it no matter what I do, It opens the tab up when I'm typing asks making posts on youtube when im listening to music when I'm writing and I can't figure out why and google is no help. Sorry if this is too specific

-

[raspberrii-soda]

i swear to god im going insane, if anyone ever happens to care about specifically the sugar rush speedway adaptations i'm making this post for them and also so i don't forget this stuff. also i just have the energy to write about the stuff today lol

Info may be incomplete because I wrote this at 2 am and set it to queue

Sugar Rush is one of the fictional games from the Disney movie Wreck-it Ralph. it's a kart racer game similar to Mario Kart, but with a sweets and candies theme. alongside other games like Fix-it Felix jr, Hero's Duty and Turbotime, this game had multiple game adaptations and related minigames. here im gonna talk about 3 adaptations: Sugar Rush Speedway, LEAP Motion Sugar Rush Speedway App and the "Baking" and "Racing" games from the Wreck-It Ralph Storybook Deluxe. i'll be ignoring the Sweet Climber minigame from the wreck it ralph app because its a simple endless jumping game.

ill try to go from my percieved idea of which one is more popular, in descending order.

Sugar Rush Speedway

if you remember having played a sugar rush game, it was probably this one. available as a browser game until it stopped being playable beyond the first map because of a game error and it was later removed somewhere in 2018.

can you still play this version of sugar rush? yeah...but not officially, it is available and fully playable on Bluemaxima's Flashpoint (god save flashpoint)

its got 4 cups, each cup being 1 track normally, in reverse and flipped. you go trough 3 laps in most of these.

it has all 10 sugar rush racers, plus you can unlock king candy trough the code KINGCANDY (wow, original) but it does not include vanellope or the recolors. there is also a lost japanese version whose only diference was that it replaced Minty Saki with Minty Sakura and the code to unlock King Candy was 7ELEVEN (lol). items work just like any common denominator kart racer, random items from an item box.

since this game was released very closely to the movie's release, some of the stuff is based on concept art and deviates from the game we see in the movie, also the graphics are a bit unpolished as it is expected for a browser game from that time, more info and images on the wiki.

Wreck-It Ralph Storybook Deluxe Games

the wreck it ralph storybook deluxe app was a paid app that, as it says, has the story of wreck it ralph in storybook form, alongside a game you can play. the app costed money and its been retired from both the play store and the app store.

is this version of sugar rush still playable? no. unless you have the app still installed on an old phone, i have the apk but it doesnt work on modern phones.

there are two "games" from the wreck it ralph storybook app, the Bake one, which corresponds to a simplified and less gimicky version of the bake-a-kart minigame, where you get to customize your kart. and the "Racing" game, which is, of course, a few sugar rush courses. 3 in this case, and 3 diferent difficulties as well.

unlike the other game, this one only has 4 of the sugar rush racers, but it also has vanellope, which automatically makes this the superiorest version of them all. in this version instead of random items you get character specific abilities.

LEAP Motion Sugar Rush Speedway

im kicking and biting and maiming and

the sugar rush speedway app for leap motion it's a purchasble app from the leap motion store, while its meant to be used with a leap motion device that tracks your hand movement it can be played without, its the same game as the browser sugar rush speedway with a few key changes: the races are only one lap, the graphics have been enhanced, and it had a bake-a-kart mode more similar to that in the movie.

is this version of sugar rush still playable? hell no, unless you had it installed previous to the shut down of the leap store.

some other changes are that king candy is no longer playable and one of the items is missing, i've only found 6 videos on youtube and a few screenshots of the game, more images and info on the wiki.

while some of the game content is out there and someone probably still has a copy, at least in my opinion, the playable game could be considered partially lost media,