#but it got me thinking about its potential practice in a setting where it could work. like human flesh and hearts are

[ehlnofay]

Many cults dedicated to Namira are known to practice an alchemical variant of corpse medicine, providing treatments that are intense but effective. Though this Daedric Prince and her devotees are largely reviled by wider society, some find their cures unmatched in their usefulness in managing chronic conditions - as long as they don't ask where they came from. Some cults charge a high price for their medicines, while others view it almost as a method of proselytising, considering the satisfaction of bringing outsiders that bit into the fold as payment enough.

[pasukiyo]

Hey, I loved your Tom Riddle fanfic, Addiction! Can you please write a part 2 of this where he starts ignoring her after this cuz the ✨scary feelings are getting out of control✨ so she tries to make him jealous and *you can guess what happens next*?

𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 | tom riddle

tom riddle x f!ravenclaw prefect reader 4,221 words notes; this can be read as its own imagine. but, for a little more context, you can read addiction here. warnings; smut and a little angst

 “I see you’ve been spending a lot of time with that Ravenclaw prefect, my Lord.”

 Tom said nothing, only glanced Avery’s way in acknowledgement over the top of his Potions book. Avery and Lestrange shared an amused grin as they eyed their friend, and Lestrange leaned forward, resting his elbows against his knees. “She’s pretty,” he said, and again, Tom said nothing but he could feel his muscles tense, his jaw locking at Lestrange’s words. 

 Avery smirked over at Lestrange and scooted towards the edge of his seat, tilting his chin down so that Tom may hear what he said next. “She seems to fancy you, you know,” Avery whispered, and Tom glanced over at him again. His brow furrowed at their smirks, but again, he remained silent. “And forgive me if I’m wrong but… it seems that you… feel the same.”

 Tom set his Potions book down onto the table in front of him and leaned back into the cushions of his seat, clasping his hands together in his lap. He eyed the two boys before him, expression blank but still, his actions seemed calculated, as if everything he did was carefully planned. 

 “Since when did how I feel become either of your concerns?” Tom asked, and the two boys in front of him seemed to flush at this, and they both shared a look. A silence ensued, and Tom felt relieved to think that the conversation was over. That was, until Lestrange cleared his throat and leaned forward again. 

 “Forgive me, my Lord, but…” he trailed off and glanced at Tom, his gaze sharp and daring him to continue. “…you’ve been spending quite some time with her lately. It almost seems to me, to us, that… you’ve gone soft.”

 Tom blinked at this, could feel his jaw tense again, his fingers curling into his palms to form fists. It was true that he had been spending more and more time with her lately but for them to think that he could’ve gone soft? 

 Foolish. They were foolish to think that he, Tom Marvolo Riddle, did not have his priorities sorted. His priority, of course, was seeking information about Horcruxes, and to even begin thinking that she could deter him from this path made him so… so… 

 Tom blinked. What if Avery and Lestrange were right? What if this thing he felt for her— whether that be love or simply infatuation— was making him soft? The feelings he had only really acknowledged just weeks before on the top of the Astronomy Tower, the fluttery feeling he got in his chest when she was near, the panic and dread he felt at the idea that something could happen to her— it was a weakness. He told her that very night, and still, he couldn’t push her away, couldn’t resist the urge to have her as close as possible. 

 It was sickening, the way he felt, that he was even capable of feeling such things. Tom Riddle was many things, but a coward, he was not. But this premonition that he could potentially be falling in love… It frightened him. 

 He cleared his throat and quickly regained his composure, pushing himself off of the sofa cushion to look down at the two boys still sitting before him. “I think… that the two of you must be foolish to think so poorly of me,” Tom said, and Avery and Lestrange scrambled to their feet, shaking their heads. “My Lord, that was not our intention—“

 Tom raised a hand to silence them, and the two boys pressed their lips together, practically shriveling away where they stood. “You are to never question where my priorities lie from now on,” Tom stated, and the two boys bowed their heads, their bodies shaking. “And please, don’t the both of you have essays for Professor Slughorn to write?”

 And with that, Tom strode off, heading for his dormitory, leaving both Avery and Lestrange shaking in the Slytherin common room. 

 Tom found that the easiest way to ignore her presence was to not look her way at all. He would usually avoid walking down the same corridor as her altogether, which was easy enough the first few days. But as time went on, he suspected she began to grow worried, and avoiding her seemingly became more and more difficult. So instead, he would walk by without so much as sparing her a glance, always leaving her dumbfounded and confused, wondering whether or not she’d done him wrong.

 She watched as Tom walked by, his expression blank, his eyes set to the hallway ahead. He didn’t even acknowledge her, and she could feel her heart stutter in her chest, and she swore she could even feel a few fragments tear from it and flutter down to the depths of her stomach. 

 Could she perhaps have done something wrong? She searched her brain for anything, anything she said or done that could’ve possibly upset him, but turned up with nothing. She couldn’t help but feel insecure, worried even that she messed up the beautiful thing she thought they had. 

 She had to talk to Tom. It was the only way to ease her growing concern, the only way to piece her heart back together. 

 However, trying to flag Tom down proved more difficult than she anticipated. It certainly was no help that she had no classes with him, since he was a year ahead, and couldn’t even rely on lunch or dinner since he never seemed to stick around for long after she arrived in the Great Hall. He never seemed to be on duty at night when she was, and it wasn’t like she could enter the Slytherin common room herself to track him down. 

 She felt helpless, with absolutely no way of finding Tom or grabbing his attention. 

 Until one night, as she patrolled up and down one of Hogwarts’ many corridors when she swore she saw the end of a student’s robes up ahead. She picked up her pace with the intent of catching whomever it was out of bed, only to find that it was none other than Tom Riddle himself, walking down the hallway. 

 “Tom!” She exclaimed, and she swore she could see his shoulders tense at the sound of her voice, his feet stopping in their tracks. She rushed towards him, stepping in front of him before he could even think to hurry away. For the first time in days, she gazed up into Tom Riddle’s dark eyes, and for a moment, she seemed to relax. Her lips curved up into a smile at the sight of him, and she stepped closer. “You’ve been terribly difficult to catch lately.”

 Tom said nothing, his jaw clenching as he stared down at her, and her smile quickly faded. She tilted her head, her hand reaching for his but he did not let her hold him, slipping his fingers away from hers before she could grab ahold of them. She flinched at the action, gazing back up at him. “Is everything alright?” She asked. “You seem to have been ignoring me as of late.”

 Tom’s brow wrinkled as he watched her, her fingers now locked together and fondling with each other, her eyes darting from his down to the floor. “Have I… have I done something wrong?” She questioned, blinking up at him. He noticed the way tears brimmed the outskirts of her sockets, and he noticed the way she tried to blink them away. 

 His heart thud against his chest. Why did he want to hold her? Why did he want to draw her into his chest and feel her close? Why did he feel angry at her tears? Why did he hate that he was seemingly breaking her heart? Wasn’t this what he wanted all along? To keep her away? 

 “Tom?” She said after a while of silence, but she didn’t dare make any more moves to touch him. With the same blank and unchanging expression, he glimpsed down at her, pushing down every sick and wretched feeling he felt towards her. 

 “No,” he finally said. “You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.”

 And with that, Tom walked away, leaving her to stand alone in the hallway more puzzled than ever. 

 Tears made her eyes sting and she rubbed at her eyes, desperate to make them go away. All she could feel now was anger, red hot anger at the boy she was watching walk away. Her eyes narrowed and she glared at his back as he turned the corner, and she glared at the place he once was too. 

 How could he do this to her? To practically admit to her just a few weeks before that he loved her— albeit, in his own strange and confusing way— on the top of the Astronomy Tower, to make love to her and to kiss her and hold her only to push her away? How could he play with her feelings like this, like they meant nothing? How could he be so selfish?

 She pressed her lips together in a firm line as she turned and walked away, patrolling the other empty corridors instead. She had to do something, something to grab his attention, something to make him regret ever taking her and the way she felt for granted. She was not going to let him throw away this thing they had, this thing that she knew had the potential to blossom into something beautiful. 

 And the next day when she caught the eye of a handsome Gryffindor named Warren Collins, she began to work on the blueprint of her plan. 

 Warren Collins was a year above her, a seventh year and Gryffindor’s Seeker. He was tall, not as tall as Tom was but still towered over most of the school. His eyes could make anyone melt, and she’d admit, she felt a little weak-kneed when she first gazed into his dark, angular eyes. They weren't as dark as Tom’s, and certainly didn’t seem almost sinister like his. No, Warren’s irises were warm, like a steaming cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s day. 

 She caught another glimpse at Warren Collins as he and the other players on Gryffindor’s Quidditch team headed towards the Quidditch pitch for practice, and she knew that this was her chance. She made her way over to the pitch and made her way up into the stands where a few other girls sat, and she wondered how many of them were there to watch Warren in action, like herself. 

 She sat alone at the top and in the far right corner, her hands clasping together between her thighs for warmth. She watched as the Gryffindor team huddled together at the very bottom of the pitch, and her eyes were immediately drawn to the top of Warren’s head, his hair wavy yet well-groomed and as black as a raven. She wondered if he could feel her eyes on him when he looked up, staring seemingly in her direction. Her lips curved into a smile when he did, and he may have been far away, but she swore she could see his full, pink lips smile too. 

 It wasn’t long after this that the Gryffindor team hopped onto their brooms and began to practice. She watched as the Gryffindor captain released a used Snitch, and Warren soared through the air like a bird, tracking it down. She tilted her head up as he soared over her head, her skin littering with goosebumps at the chill his broom left in his wake. The other girls on the stands squealed and tried to tame their hair back down to their heads, adjusting their robes as they giggled. 

 And when the practice was over, she made certain that she was the first one to leave the stands, and she sauntered her way over to the entrance of the pitch, trying to make it less obvious that she was waiting for someone. The other girls from the stands soon joined behind her, giggling and murmuring amongst themselves about the players, Warren’s name definitely amongst their uttering. 

 And it wasn’t long after that that the team emerged from the pitch, and so did Warren. 

 She smiled when she saw him, his fingers weaving through his tresses, taming the black waves back down on his head. His skin glistened with sweat and he appeared the slightest bit winded, but he was all smiles, his grin only growing when he found her amongst the small crowd of girls. Two of the other boys teased and shoved at him when they saw her, and she giggled when Warren pushed them away, making sure to flutter her eyelashes as he jogged towards her, broomstick in hand. 

 “First time I’ve seen you out here for a practice,” he commented and she giggled, swiping a loose strand of hair behind her ear and faking shyness as she glanced towards the ground. “I hope I didn’t fly too close to you earlier,” he added, and she shook her head. “Not at all. And I enjoyed it, watching you practice, I mean,” she said and he smiled, cocking an eyebrow. 

 “Yeah?”

 She nodded. He pressed his lips together and hummed, looking her up and down. 

 “Well, maybe you should come to practice more often then.”

 She grinned, ignoring the dirty looks from the other girls when Warren gestured for her to follow him. “Perhaps I should,” she replied, following at his side back towards the castle. His smile widened, and he seemed to be staring, perhaps even a moment too long. She giggled at him and playfully shoved at his arm. “Why are you looking at me like that?” She questioned and he laughed, shaking his head towards the ground. 

 “It’s nothing, I just…” he trailed off, as if trying to find the right words. “…it’s just funny. We haven’t once spoken to each other in all our time at Hogwarts,” he said, and she tittered. “Plus, I was sure you had a thing for the Head Boy.”

 She flushed at the mention of Tom but made a quick recovery, shifting a little closer towards Warren so that their arms could occasionally touch. “You mean Tom Riddle?” She tittered. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. What I do know for sure is that he’s arrogant and definitely has a stick up his arse.”

 Warren threw his head back and laughed at this, and she noticed the way his eyes crinkled when he did so, how his entire face seemed to illuminate when he laughed. “Finally, somebody says it,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Only been trying to convince the others for seven years now.”

 She smiled, it wasn’t like what she said wasn’t the truth. Tom Riddle was arrogant, and definitely did have a stick up the arse. She didn’t realize that there could be others who noticed it too, however. 

 She and Warren made their way to one of Hogwarts’ many entrances and pushed through the double doors, entering the warmth of the castle. “So, what’d you think of the team, then?” Warren asked as they made their way through the corridor. “You think Gryffindor may have a shot at winning the House Cup this year?”

 She cocked an eyebrow. “You forget I’m in Ravenclaw?” She questioned. “Surely you remember I don’t particularly want you to win?” Warren’s eyes glimmered with amusement at this, and just as he replied with some sort of snarky, but playful remark, she saw him. 

 There Tom Riddle was, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest as Avery and Lestrange talked to him. But she knew he wasn’t paying attention. Not when his eyes seemed to immediately find hers, flicking back and forth between her and Warren. 

 As Warren talked, she snaked her arm around his and pressed herself closer into his side, which seemed to take him aback at first, the pale skin of his cheeks turning scarlet but his smile widening all the same. She watched as Tom straightened his posture and his jaw clenched at this, and she sank her teeth into her bottom lip to suppress her smile.  

 Everything was going so smoothly, so beautifully. 

 Tom couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

 She certainly didn’t waste any time, did she?

 Her arm locked with Warren Collins’… it made his blood boil. He knew what she was doing, he knew by the way she locked eyes with him, by the way she kept looking at him as she nestled closer into Warren’s side, by the way she laughed a little too hard at whatever it was Warren was saying. He knew this must be her idea of some game, of some way to tease him and to make him angry. 

 He was ashamed that he was playing into her hands, that the way he felt now was exactly the way she wanted him to feel. His chest burned, it ached with the unmistakable feeling of jealousy. He cursed himself for feeling this way, for wanting her so badly even though he knew he shouldn’t. 

 He cursed himself for waiting in the shadows outside of the Ravenclaw common room later that night, for feeling so obsessed with her that he’d wait for her to come out, which she did, and follow her as she made her way to the prefects’ bathroom. 

 He watched from the shadows as she slipped inside, and after a moment or two, he slipped inside as well. 

 He leaned back against the door and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched her turn on the faucets to the bath, as she ran her fingers through her hair and set her towel down on the edge of the bath. He watched as she began to slip off her dress robes, leaving her in only her undergarments before he cleared his throat and she jumped, her arms instinctively hiding herself as she turned towards where he stood. 

 His eyes were darker than ever now. In the shadows, he looked nefarious. 

 “Tom?” She gasped as he pushed himself off of the door, taking slow, calculated strides towards where she stood, frozen. “What— what are you—“

 “Do you think I didn’t notice the little game you were trying to play earlier?” He asked, and she blinked, her initial shock melting away to give way for the amused smirk tugging at the corner of her lips, her eyebrows raising. “I didn’t think you’d notice, thought you were still avoiding me,” she replied coolly as Tom stopped before her, towering over her and eclipsing the light behind him. 

 “Really? You think I and the rest of the school wouldn’t notice the way you were practically throwing yourself onto Warren Collins?” Tom scoffed, and she flushed at the comment. “I was not—“

 “You were,” Tom interrupted her, his hand grabbing at her waist and tugging her closer until his breath loomed over her face like fog, until their noses were almost touching when he looked down. “And if you think for a second that I’m going to let Warren Collins of all people think that he has a chance with you, then you are gravely mistaken.”

 For once, she felt intimidated standing in his presence, and she found it hard to breathe all of a sudden, as if Tom just being there made all the air escape her lungs. She kept her lips pressed together and held his heated gaze, but he knew he had already won. She watched as the corner of his lips tugged into a smirk. 

 Damn him. 

 “Yeah?” She muttered. “Then show me who I belong to.”

 Tom inhaled sharply through his nose as he searched her eyes, a raging sea of emotion mixed with anger, with love, with lust. With the hand already on her hip, he tugged her in closer until his lips were on hers, and she knew had lost the second he kissed her. 

 Tom never kissed her like this before, not even on the top of the Astronomy Tower. Never had he kissed her with such fervor, he never did anything that his brain hadn’t already calculated. But he kissed her now with reckless abandon, without any care in the world. 

 He kissed her as if his life depended on it. 

 She mewled into his mouth as he stripped her of her undergarments and he made quick work of stripping his own self down. She grabbed at his hand and guided him down into the bubble bath, his lips finding the sensitive spot on her neck as they settled down into the bath. Her fingers wove through the dark tresses on the back of his head as his tongue dragged along her throat down to her collarbone and down to her breasts, her chest heaving when he collected one of her nipples into his mouth. 

 “Oh, Tom,” she moaned, throwing her head back as he flicked the tip of his tongue against her nipple, kissing his way between the valley of her breasts to give her other breast attention. She could feel his cock against her thigh when one of his hands trailed down her waist, forcing its way between her legs. She tugged at the roots of his hair when the pads of his fingers rubbed against her clit, and all she knew now was that she needed more. “Please Tom, please I need… I need…”

 Tom hummed against her collarbone as he let his fingers slide up and down her slit, teasing her entrance, teasing her aching clit. “What do you need, hm?” He asked and she tried to answer, she really did but when he touched her like this— Merlin, she couldn’t even form coherent sentences in her head. “Do you need me to show you who you belong to? Just like you said earlier?”

 All she could do was nod, and Tom hummed against her throat, kissing her skin, leaving not even an inch untouched. She panted when he drew his fingers away, only to be filled up with his cock in one impatient thrust, and she tugged harder at his scalp. He drew her into his chest and panted as tears brimmed her eyes, droplets beading down her cheeks.

 Tom’s eyebrows knit together as she leaned back against the wall of the bath, and he grabbed at her hips, fucking into her with the image of her and Warren Collins together like the fuel to his fire. Her moans were bordering screams, and her incoherent mumbling permeated the bathroom, bouncing off of each of the walls and playing like a symphony in his ears. He wanted to hear more, to hear his name and his name only from her lips. 

 “Say my name,” Tom murmured into her ear and she cried when he picked up his pace, his thrusts animalistic, inhumane. “Tom! Oh fuck, Tom!” She cried and with one of his hands, he gripped her chin and forced her to stare into his dark, narrowing eyes, his thrusts never once faltering. 

 “No,” he shook his head. “That’s not my name,” he said again and she shook her own head, not understanding as he fucked her closer and closer to her end. “I want you to say my name. My true name,” he whispered against her cheek, his lips right next to ear. “I want you to call me Voldemort. Lord Voldemort.”

 She panted and nuzzled her cheek against his, his lips pressing kisses to the shell of her ear. “Say it,” he whispered. “Call me by my name. Call me your Lord.”

 Her chest heaved as her cunt clenched around him, squeezing him so tight that he almost lost his composure for a moment, dropping his head to her shoulder. “SAY IT!” He shouted this time, and she cried out once more. “Please! Let me come, my Lord. Make me yours, Lord Voldemort.”

 Oh, how his name, his true name, tumbling from her lips made him happy, the happiest he thought he ever felt. He thrusted his hips into her harder, harder and harder until her body began to writhe and spasm with quake of her orgasm, and he fucked her through that too, chasing his own. 

 “Tom— Lord! Lord Voldemort!” She cried as he felt himself coming closer to the edge, closer and closer and closer until he spilled himself inside of her, his hips stuttering as they slammed into hers one final time. Tears streamed down her cheeks like rivers and her fingernails were etched so deep into the skin of his shoulders, she knew they would leave marks. 

 Lord Voldemort held her body close, breathed her in like she was the air itself. His palms soothed over the small of her back and her waist, over either of her hips. To think that she could have ever been his weakness seemed foolish to him…

 …because right now, he felt the most powerful he’d ever been.

 She whimpered as she let herself fall deeper into him, let him hold her as she tried to chase air back into her lungs. Lord Voldemort only held her to his chest, whispering into her ear how she was his, and if anyone, Warren Collins included, ever tried to take her away from him, it would be the last thing they’d ever do. 

a/n; i wasn’t originally planning on writing a part two but i actually liked this idea and… ngl i feel kind of proud of my writing here 🙈 ps… thank you for the request anon! i’m so glad you liked addiction!

🥹🤍✨

[kelseytheballerina]

Heyy so Starting by being straight up and admitting that envy is an ugly habit I have. I see people who grew up with money living their best life and I get hurt and mad because I'm working my ass off just trying to get by, or I see an attractive woman and feel like crap. Its something I'm recognizing as a problem and I want to stop. I saw a post where you said something about being inspired and motivated by women who are better off/more successful/prettier/etc instead of comparing and getting jealous. How do you actually put that into practice and acheive that mindset?

totally, so basically I would just look at it as inspiration and proof of an outcome. a lot of our desires can be based on theory. the possibility of having this or going there or excelling in this way. but we don’t technically know if we could pull it off or if it’s ever been done before with a specific set of conditions, so our goals and desires are just a theory. for example, maybe you desire to be a mom-model-actress-ceo under 25 and you see a woman literally become just that. I wouldn’t be like “grrrr how dare she have what I want” I would be happy that I now have proof that what I want is in the realm of possibility and there is a path that has been laid out should I choose to use hers as a blueprint. people will likely be more accepting of me doing the same thing since there’s already been someone who has come before me and been successful. plus, now you could have a potential peer who becomes a potential friend when you are in the same circle. when it comes to beauty, there’s so many girls out there being unapologetically into beauty care so now people won’t be weirded out when I start showing up with nails and hair and cute clothes because they have helped break down the taboo. so it’s more of an appreciation for them trailblazing a path or showing time and time again that something is possible and here’s what it looks like for a 35 year old and a 60 year old and a 19 year old and a white American and a black American and a Nigerian Brit and so on and so forth. it’s inspirational data.

it’s like, I now know I’m not crazy and my aspirations are attainable at least to a degree (factoring in variables like where you’re born and parents you’re born to, etc) so all I have to do is stay on track and I’ll be there too some day. when I’m studying over and over and wondering if this is even real and then I see a classmate got an A, I feel better knowing that I’m not screaming into the void and that the outcome I seek is actually a reality. I no longer feel like I’m rowing in open water of uncharted territory. this land has been conquered before and that’s great! so maybe I won’t get skin exactly like hers but I’ll get close. maybe I won’t get her salary at the same age she did but even if I have to work an extra 5 years I’ll be glad I was inspired by her to keep going. maybe you didn’t consider the possibility of having certain things until you saw that woman with it and now your mindset has been expanded to have more out of life.

I feel like when you’re envious, there’s a part of you deep down that will secretly wish for someone’s downfall, even if you’re friends with them because it’s a “me vs you and there can only be one” mentality. which means you’ll be likely to think everyone else is secretly out to get you too or the world is conspiring against you when it’s nothing of the sort. but when you have an “I’m happy for you and patiently waiting my turn” mentality, you’re more likely to see the blessings happening to you in action, you’re more likely to be a positive person around such women and they’d more likely want to be around you and help you come up with them rather than feeling some sort of repressed hater energy.

I always just remember that none of us are on the same timeline and not everyone peaks at the same age. some are late bloomers, some have more barriers in the way, but that just means you will end up being someone else’s inspiration one day when they find interest in your variables and outcome. let your journey be what it will be and keep your mind open to the wisdom you’re collecting along the way. if it took you 3 years to clear your skin up, you’ll have waaaay more insight on the topic than someone who’s only ever experienced the occasional breakout and let’s say you wanted to turn that into a skincare YouTube channel or something, you’d have more success than someone with nothing to say. what I mean by that is, sometimes the ones with the long journeys that feel unfavorable in the moment end up blooming into an unforeseen opportunity in the future.

envy is never worth it. it just makes the journey more miserable than it needs to be and pushes people away.

[eleganzadellarosa]

pairing: vampire!au, kyungsoo x fem!reader, dom!kyungsoo x sub!reader, kyungsoo x virgin!reader, Prince!Jongin x reader

genres: smut, angst

words: 14.8K

warnings: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT, MINORS DNI [masturbation, slight spit play, face sitting, squirting, unprotected sex (wrap it up fr), biting kink, pet names (darling, princess, love, baby),choking, oral (m and f receiving), fingering…etc.],cheating, blood (this should make sense)

author's note: I got tired of there not being enough Kyungsoo smut (to my knowledge anyway. If you have some recs, please do share) so I decided to write my own. Plus the teaser pics for cream soda did something to me and I needed to express it through writing lol. There's some plot but we're all here for the smut, and trust me it's smutty. So please enjoy, tell me what you think and thank you for reading <3

part 2 can be found here

Tomorrow was a special day, a day that you longed so earnestly for. Prince Jongin would be visiting again and with the amount of times he’s come over, a proposal was definitely underway. Jongin was a dream come true, the epitome of the “perfect husband". He possessed qualities that one could only ask for while on their knees. From his looks to his status, he was desired by many, yet his heart only yearned for you. It made you blush just to think about everything and how much of a blessing it truly was. The man was gorgeous, from his sun kissed tanned skin, to his tall frame and toned body.

But his physical appearance had nothing to do with why you fell head over heels for him. He was kind, sweet and gentle, something that most suitors only faked while courting their potential spouse. You’ve heard the stories and how many women lost the love for their husbands within the first couple months of marriage only to be stuck with bearing their children until death did them part. That wouldn’t be you though because that wasn’t Jongin--he was different. His personality was genuine and it was apparent from head to toe.

3 months in total counted for the amount of days that he’s visited which was considered standard courting practice for your time period. Your parents loved him and your heart skipped a beat whenever he was close. You wanted no one but him and you knew he felt the same about you. The time drifted by way too slowly and as you lay awake on your bed, your mind ran at 100 miles per minute. Scenario after scenario about how tomorrow would go kept you occupied until your mind finally relaxed enough for you to drift off to sleep.

“Wake up...wake up! It’s half past eleven!”

The sun shined brightly through the window across from you, violently pulling your heavy lids open. Your body tries to coast back into its peaceful slumber, but the person shaking you vetoed your plans. Your eyes once again opening to find said person extremely close to your face, making you immediately sit up as if you were already fully awake. It was Vivian, your servant, but you didn’t like to call her that because she was much closer to you than someone who would do whatever because of your superiority over them.

You were an only child, so she has been the only one around your age for as long as you could remember. She’s the daughter of a previous servant that once lived here but she died before you or Vivian were older than newborns and your parents were kind enough to let her stay instead of leaving her in the hands of an orphanage. You pitied her but she hated when you did so you tried not to show it, but you knew how hard it must have been without a mother. She never admitted it but your family is the only she’s ever really known so she didn’t know what to miss.

“Hurry, you have about 30 minutes before he gets here and you still haven’t bathed!” she says as she tugs at your arm, slightly pulling you off the bed. As much as you thought about him last night, you almost forgot who was coming today. You rushed off into the bathroom, where Vivian already had your bath set. She made sure to add some rose petals to your water, ensuring that your smell would linger every time you passed the prince by.

She left the bathroom after making sure everything was just right to give you some privacy. The bath relaxed you, maybe a little too much and the moment you stumbled into dreamland for the second time this morning, there was a knock at the door. Vivian came rushing in, towels in hand.

“He’s here! Get out right now, you still have to get dressed! And why are you so tired?!”

"I stayed up all night thinking about today, I couldn't help it!" you pouted as you reluctantly stepped out of the tub.

She shook her head while chuckling and pushed you out the bathroom door.

Your heart beat so fast it felt as though it would break through your rib cage at any moment. You both quickly rushed into your room, ready to choose the perfect outfit for today. Being aware of his love for soft colors, you opted for a powder blue peasant cut dress and white corset. You styled your long black tresses in a half up half down style with curtain bangs. The accessories were simple; dangling pearl earrings and a pearl hairpin to match. You weren’t one to wear makeup, but today being the special day that it is, powder set your face and a rose balm on your lips complimented your slightly tanned skin. You stood from your place at your marble vanity and did a small twirl for Vivian to assess the final look. Before she could speak, there was a knock on your door.

“Princess, please come down to the main hall and greet Prince Jongin, he has arrived.” The familiar voice of the butler spoke on the other end of the door. The anxiety began to swell when everything set in but you couldn’t let your emotions get the best of you. Feeling anxious was pointless anyway because you’ve met with Prince Jongin multiple times, but for some reason there was suddenly a heaviness in the air that made your stomach churn. She gives you a nod of approval and you both make your way out the door to head downstairs to greet your guest.

As you walk down the imperial staircase, you see two faces; one familiar and the other not so much. You curtsy in front of Jongin and he takes your hand in his, placing a small kiss on the back.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again Princess. You look gorgeous as always.” he says smiling.

You return his smile and compliments but can’t help letting your gaze fall on the unfamiliar man standing feet apart from him. There was something in the way he stood, something in the way he looked, something you couldn’t put your finger on, but there was something off about him.

“Oh yes, please excuse my manners. Allow me to introduce you to my servant, Kyungsoo. A man of few words, but loyal nonetheless. You shall be seeing him a lot more often I hope?” he says insinuating that you accept his proposal; one which you’d be stupid to refuse.

Kyungsoo bows and makes his way over. Studying the man in front of you, he’s clad in a white blouse, the first three buttons unsecured so a small amount of the skin on his chest shone like the moon peaking out from the clouds. Black slacks, black dress shoes and then three dainty gold necklaces don his neck. His hair was also black, tousled perfectly in an elegant manner. A handsome man indeed, you had to admit, and the sense of mystery surrounding him had you staring for a lot longer than you’d have liked.

He stared back awaiting your move so he may properly greet you, yet here you were stuck, trapped and falling into his deep black orbs. There was a feeling there, something different from when you looked at Jongin. Like the pair whose love was forbidden yet the two couldn’t stay apart. The love could not be portrayed in plain sight but the tension between the two created a impenetrable force field.

Vivian clears her throat next to you which snaps you out of your thoughts. You curtsy and offer your hand to him who gently takes your hand in his. He also places a small kiss on the back, yet he doesn’t break eye contact. The small action making your breath get caught in the back of your throat.

With him being so close, you could smell the fragrance that wafted your way. It was breathtaking, like nothing you’ve ever smelled before. It was so perfect that it seemed to come from his pores, pheromones clouding and intoxicating your judgement.

“The king said he would be waiting for us. We should not keep him any longer.”

The statement from Jongin makes you avert your eyes from Kyungsoo and he removes his lips from your hand. He made your knees like jelly and your heart race a marathon. Your guard was down and you allowed yourself to fall prey to the subtle seduction.

Lunch in the banquet went quite well. Laughs, clinking wine glasses and cutlery colliding with the china filled the large space. Every once in a while those sounds were replaced with sips, breaths and sighs. You caught Jongin stealing a few glances your way when you moved to tuck your bangs behind your ear, making you blush every time. In the meantime, this is what kept your head on straight and you had almost forgot he brought his servant along, until he came in with Vivian to announce that dessert would be served shortly.

Having Kyungsoo in your presence made your posture straighter, if that was even possible. Everything about him made the hairs on the back of your neck erect. You shakily reach for the wine glass in front of you and knock it over, the red liquid spilling onto your dress. You gasp and quickly stand up from your chair and dab the area with the spare cloth from the table. You look up to see all eyes on you and you mentally slap yourself for the embarrassing act.

"Are you okay Princess?" Jongin asks, walking up to you with a fresh cloth.

“Yes, thank you. I must excuse myself, I would hate for my suitor to see me in such a messy manner.”

“Please, do not worry about such trivial things. I will be here when you return so please take your time.”

You smiled and bowed your head before heading toward the exit, Kyungsoo’s eyes never leaving your form. It made your body shudder. For what reason did Jongin bring him along? He was usually by himself but this time he brought his plus one. Was he to act as a test for your loyalty? You would have to keep your eyes on any tricks that he may try to play, you would hate for the prince to back out on the proposal because you couldn’t contain your newfound lust for his servant.

By the time you finished changing into something that wasn’t stained with wine, it was announced that lunch would be ending early. It felt like your fault even though you knew there must have been another reason. Dessert was the only part of the meal that would be missed so it was not that big of a deal.

You searched around for Jongin only to find that he was with your father in his study. A guard blocked the door and informed you that their conversation was important and the king ordered they were to not be disturbed. You thanked him for the information and tried to contain the giddiness you felt rising in your chest. They could only be talking about one thing and you hoped you were right. As you turned on your heels to leave, the guard cleared his throat.

“You did not hear this from me, but Prince Jongin will be staying with us until Sunday.”

Although surprising, it was a logical decision since the journey back for him was quite long and the day was almost over. By the time dinner came around, he had excused himself and settled for a nap instead, further confirming the trip was taxing. You wanted to bring up their conversation over the meal but you knew your impatience would only irritate your father, so finding out would have to wait. If only waiting wasn't so hard.

After dinner, you made up your mind to get ready for bed early so you would have all your energy for a full day with Jongin tomorrow. You enter the bathroom and undress in front of the tub, throwing your worn clothes to the side not caring where they landed. The water was warm yet kissing the temperature of being too hot, but it relaxed your muscles which was much needed after feeling so tense for most of the day. You cup your hand to gather water and run it down your body, taking deep breaths and closing your eyes, the scent of lavender floating through your nostrils.

"Princess..." an unfamiliar voice making you jolt, your eyes shooting open. There was no knock on the door or sound of the door opening. You turn around and see Kyungsoo standing not far from where you were. You quickly sink further down into the tub in hopes that the water would cover your breasts.

"Sir Kyungsoo…what are you doing here?" He walks closer to the tub which ultimately causes you to try and back up, only resulting in your top half being exposed. You quickly cover your chest with your arms and your heart rate flies through the roof.

"Prince Jongin told me to come and check on you and to also see if you needed assistance with anything. Miss Vivian was very kind and told me where you were, although I suspect she didn't think I would be entering. And please, no need for formalities, I’m but a mere servant.” He ends his sentence as he sits on the edge of the large tub. He runs his fingers through your bath water and scoops some up in his hand, your eyes following his every movement.

“You don’t have to be so tense around me darling, I won’t hurt you. I give you my word.” As you look up at him ready to deny his claims, the water he stored in his hand cascades down your back making you gasp. He repeats the action, this time letting his hand run down the damp skin. “I thought your beauty had limits”, he gently grabs your chin with the same hand and leans in closer to your face, “but here you are proving me wrong”.

Not trusting your voice you stayed silent, mentally punishing yourself for letting him get away with this. If he hadn’t been holding onto your chin, your jaw would’ve fallen slack. Your arms were already at your sides when his gaze travels down your body and land on your chest and hard nipples. His tongue peeks out from inside his mouth to wet his lips, and it immediately sent tingles straight to your core. He looks back up at you and smirks before standing and exiting the bathroom.

On the outside of the door, his chest heaved. He suddenly felt restricted in his loose clothing. He leaned his head back against the door and ran a hand through his hair. “What in God’s name am I doing?” he thought. He was unlike his normal self, reserved and respectful. You were doing things to him, taking his control away from him. You were the puppeteer manipulating his movements. You were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on and don't get him started on how lovely you smelled. He cursed his heightened sense, only making it harder to resist you. He knew of the intensity of your relationship with Jongin; yet he wanted to snatch the man's happiness away.

He didn’t believe you could be as perfect as Jongin described you in his many stories but seeing you today made him realize they did you no justice. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. The way you moved, the way you spoke, the way you dressed. Each and every thing about you had been perfectly molded by God himself, the only reasonable answer for such a beautiful being. He wanted you, and seeing you in your most vulnerable form in the bathtub made his pants a little tighter.

He knew what he was doing to you, how his actions had heavy consequences on your body. He wanted you enamored, wanted you within his grasp. He fell for you as soon as his eyes met yours and he knew he would do whatever it took to have you. However, he knew of the possibility of that never happening especially since he held onto a secret that only a small few had knowledge of, and that included Jongin.

You hadn’t noticed you were holding your breath until the door shut and the air filling your lungs makes you cough. This man was unpredictable, risky and for your own sake, it would be best to avoid him as much as you could. Your plan to stay grounded against any foul play went down the drain when he got close to you. You hoped everything you felt was all in your head and the consequences weren’t a heavy burden to bear.

For the rest of the evening, any thought of what happened earlier you tried to shove to the back of your mind. It was becoming hard to not think of the man the more you would occasionally pass Jongin in the halls. He still had your heart but whenever you crossed paths, your mind was never on the man in front of you. Instead you seemed to look through and around him wondering if his shadow would be following closely behind. This disappointed you as he was never to be found and you couldn’t help but wonder why. Alas, you were too nervous to ask and truthfully you had no reason to, especially when the man passing you by in the corridors would claim you as his any day now.

“I hope you sleep well Princess. I am grateful to be given the opportunity to see you again in the morning.” Jongin bows and walks past you, down the hall and into his room for the night.

You offered him a small and respectful smile and couldn't deny the warm and tingly feeling you felt when he spoke to you. You sighed deeply knowing that the next few days would be hell with both men in your home.

Midnight soon came and you went into your room to change into your pajamas. You opened the armoire, one that matched the marble pattern on your vanity. An ivory, satin nightgown would be perfect for tonight's weather and also with how warm your body felt. You flopped onto the bed and covered your face with your hands before letting them drop to the sides of your head. Today had put a lot of stress on your mind and rightfully so. Having this strange and beautiful man around had your mind doing mental olympics. "I thought your beauty had limits, but here you are proving me wrong" that line played in your mind over and over and never failed to confuse your heart more each time.

Memory of the way he touched you replayed on loop. The words to stop him were stuck on the tip of your tongue but deep down you wanted him to continue and that's what made it scary. You loved Prince Jongin and your answer to whatever question he had would always be an immediate yes, still you couldn't take your mind off of Kyungsoo. The way he licked his lips as he scanned your body, his touch making you gasp, just everything about his entire being was starting to make you feral even though you only met the man today. Your hormones were getting the best of you and you blamed it on your period possibly arriving soon. The more you thought about him the more the throb between your legs became increasingly obvious and it begged to be touched.

Jumping up and carefully locking the door, you returned to your bed to get comfortable under your blanket and remove your panties. This was so unlike you, but the thought of him sent fire through your veins and there was no other option to satisfy the agonizing thump. Starting with larger circles, they quickly turned into smaller, concentrated ones as you settled into the new feeling. You continued to rub your clit and the slick from in between your folds coated your finger. You wanted more, no, you needed more and the only way to ease your arousal was to insert a finger. The feeling was definitely foreign but it helped alleviate some of the pressure that didn't seem to go away with your earlier actions. The image of Kyungsoo licking his beautiful plump lips popped into your head once more and a small whimper slipped past your lips.

Slightly startled, you quickly sat up and looked around as if there would be an audience watching you touch yourself. You've never once worried about the sound travelling throughout the castle but even if you did it would be useless. The castle wasn't small and with the old stone walls, no sound would penetrate its forces. You settle back into your spot and finish what you started. Knowing no one would hear you, Kyungsoo's name rolled off your tongue as you moaned. You added another finger and began to thrust into yourself faster, back arching off the bed. It didn't take long before the knot building in your stomach snapped and you released your juices all over your fingers.

You lay there in awe of the new sensation, a sheen of sweat dancing across your chest and forehead. Whatever control you believed you had over yourself was snatched away from you in the last 15 minutes and it would be safe to think you'd never get it back. You reach for the handkerchief on your bedside table to clean the mess on your fingers and between your legs. The guilt washed over you when you finally laid your head on your pillow. Your loyalty knew no bounds but now you questioned if it was ever one of your qualities. The thought of Jongin finding out what you did tonight made you cover your face in embarrassment and curl your body into a ball. What if he didn't want you anymore, what if he could tell that your mind hasn't been on him since you laid eyes on Kyungsoo? What would he think of you?

Kyungsoo also had no luck with getting you off his mind. He stood with his hands gripping the sink, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, wondering if the man on the other side was still him. It was becoming too difficult to keep his urge of releasing all the pent up feelings while he was all alone. He thought of how the droplets of water glimmered against your soft and supple skin. He imagined you moaning his name when you gasped at his touch. Every thought sent blood right to his lower organ. It was painful, the way it pressed against the fabric of his pants as if it would break through any second.

He reached down and palmed his erection through his clothes, grip on the sink getting tighter. His breath quickened as he moved his hand faster. It felt good but still wasn't enough to shake the thought of you. He pulled the zipper down along with the waistband of his briefs just enough so his dick popped free. Concentration deep within his brows as he focused stroking his length as if he was within your velvety walls. He felt it, the feeling of ecstasy building up waiting to explode. A few more pumps and he came in his hand, moans hidden behind the lip caught between his teeth. It wasn’t until his lip fell free that he noticed the drops of blood coming from it.

Another look in the mirror and he saw just how much of himself he let go. Piercing red eyes and fangs to match. This was dangerous, you were dangerous. He would never be able to keep his secret to himself with you around, but he craved you. He so badly wanted to have his dick buried deep inside you and his teeth sunk into your skin. It would be euphoric and if he didn't get it, he might just wish for death.

Breakfast the next morning was quite large given that there were extra guests but sometimes you thought it a waste since the abundance of food left over could feed a whole village. As you entered the great hall, you scanned the grand area in search of Jongin. He wasn’t here and you wanted to be courteous and wait for him before you touched your food. You spot Vivian on the other side talking to Kyungsoo and your curiosity got the best of you. Jealous wouldn’t be the right word to use but you felt the need to go over and cut their conversation short no matter how important.

You wave to Vivian as you close in on the pair and her eyes light up when she sees you, making Kyungsoo turn around. He bows and you extend a curtsy.

“Prince Jongin will be here shortly, he’s just having a slow morning so please do excuse him.” Kyungsoo looks at you as if to watch your face for any changes.

“That’s quite alright, you both must be tired from your long journey yesterday. I have no problem with waiting for him.”

He smiles softly and excuses himself, walking toward the exit.

Vivian nudges you and leans in when he's no longer in sight. "Is it just me or is something really weird about him? Or...maybe it's just because he fancies you." her voice being a mere whisper, inaudible if you hadn't been so close to her.

Your head whips in her direction, "Nonsense! He does not! But yes something is very different about him and I'm not sure how one would describe it."

"You may not think so, but I definitely do. He watches you every time you're around. He pays no mind to anything else going on around him and he looks at you like you're rations on harvest day."

You wanted to call her delusional but you knew of the interactions you had with him yesterday and you could never muster up enough courage to tell her about your conflict. As the hopeless romantic she is, the situation would excite her but she would tell you to think logically and remember how much you love and waited for Jongin. Maybe that's what you needed, someone to tell you that it was stupid to even think about someone else. Not now though, you would do everything in your power to deny the feelings budding for the new man and focus solely on your suitor.

Breakfast was served and your stomach grumbled the second the variety of aromas caressed your nose.

"Good morning Princess, I hope I did not make you wait too long. I would have rushed here sooner if I knew you were already present."

You turn to look in the direction of the voice. Jongin stands before you and you offer him your hand. He kisses it and you give his a light squeeze. "Please do not worry about such things my prince. I did not wait long but would have waited longer if you needed.

He smiled brightly hearing you call him "your prince" for the first time and admittedly it felt weird to you even though it left your mouth with ease.

After the meal, everyone returned to their rooms to await the next. You laid on your bed while indulging in your favorite book. There was a soft knock on your door.

"Please come in" you say, shifting your weight from your stomach to your elbows to gain leverage and look in the direction of the door.

To your pleasant surprise, Jongin enters with a bow. You quickly stand up from your bed and run your hands down your dress to straighten it out.

"Oh! Prince Jongin, what brings you here?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk in the garden with me? I love to take walks around noon, the sun is at its highest then."

Perfect timing. This is what you needed, some time completely alone with him so you had no other distractions. "I would love to, I will be right down."

A big smile paints his face and he releases a breath that was anxiously waiting in his chest. "Take your time, I will meet you outside when you are ready."

To say the garden was huge was an understatement but it was the perfect place to relax and unwind. Jongin offers you his arm to hold while you two take the stroll.

"Is the sun too bright? I can ask Kyungsoo to bring an umbrella if you'd li-"

You tighten your grip on his arm slightly startling him, "No no, it's perfectly fine! The rays from the sun are healthy in small amounts and it feels great on the skin." The excuse was corny but it was the best you could come up with.

He offers you a warm smile and extends his hand in front of you as a way to say "lead the way". The last thing you needed was for Kyungsoo to come and ruin this time with Jongin. If the man you had your arms locked with right now knew of the exchanges with his servant, he would probably look at you in disgust. You were going to pass this test one way or another.

Thankfully Kyungsoo was the last person on your mind the entire time. The prince lead most of the conversations but you didn't mind, his voice was just as attractive as the rest of him and seeing him laugh so freely was like a breath of fresh air.

He gave you butterflies and to think that he wanted to marry you and no one else, made you feel like you were on cloud 9. You didn't give much thought to what your husband would look or be like when you were younger, but if you did, you know he would fit the description perfectly.

"We must head back now, it will be time for lunch soon and we wouldn't want everyone looking for us. But before we go-" he pauses as he brings a hand from around his back to reveal a pink rose.

You gasp in delight and grab it, fingers brushing against his. Courageously, you stand on the tips of your toes and place a small kiss on his cheek. "I love it so much, it's beautiful! Thank you."

Although he tried to hide it, the obvious blush on his cheeks told you just how much the kiss excited him. If you wanted to keep the other one off your brain, things like this would have to be more frequent. You didn't want to come on too strongly but there was no denying how much he loved you and you had to do whatever it took to keep your feelings in order.

Now you were curious what he spoke about with your father since he still hadn't proposed. Was he rethinking his decision? The thought made you nervous and wondered if everything Kyungsoo did was simply a test and Jongin knew about it all. It would be futile to ask him now especially if it meant opening a can of worms; you definitely weren't ready for that conversation.

After lunch, Vivian dragged you to her room to interrogate you.

"How was your date with Jongin? Did you hold hands? Did you kiss him? Tell me everything!"

You chuckled at her straightforwardness. "It was amazing! He's such a lovely person, I could hear him talk all day. And...maybe I did kiss him." You had to quickly add more to your sentence before she screamed "But only on the cheek, nothing serious!"

"Oh how great it must feel to have two men longing for you at once." She clasped her hands at her chest and looked up as if she were imagining it.

Your smile dropped. "Vivian again with this? He doesn't like me, I'm just new to him."

"If you saw him today, you wouldn't be saying that." She tilted her head and looked off to the side.

Suddenly your interest was piqued. "W-what do you mean?"

"I mean, he looked like a dog who lost its master. The entire time you were out with Jongin, he walked around aimlessly like he counted down the minutes until you returned. I have seen my fair share of people in love and he's definitely one of them. He wishes he was Prince Jongin, I can see it in his eyes."

You had thought about it and on multiple occasions within the past two days. What would it be like to have Kyungsoo wanting to spend the rest of his life with you? Would you want the other instead? It felt selfish thinking about something like this when Jongin was so nice to you. It felt inconsiderate to think that the thought of Kyungsoo was the one to send you over the edge when you pleasured yourself at night.

You would talk to him tomorrow you decided. You needed to know the intent behind his actions and would politely ask him to keep the relationship platonic.

After bathing, you returned to your quarters. Tonight's attire was a white, sheer, long nightgown that was maybe a bit too sheer to even be considered clothing. You hop into bed and lay on your back, relishing the way the silk sheets felt against your skin. The feeling sent shivers down your spine and memories of your orgasm coaxed you into wanting another. You tried to compel the idea to the back of your mind, but unsuccessfully so when you remembered what Vivian said about Kyungsoo. You spending most of the day with Jongin equating to nothing in this moment. Remembering how disappointed he looked when you waited patiently for Jongin at breakfast. And his voice. It was so deep and sultry, every word laced with passion and you wondered what it’d be like to have him whisper in your ear. He was too intoxicating.

Succumbing to the growing feeling between your legs, you reach under your nightgown and start to rub your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. The initial feeling makes you squirm in place, closing your legs to add to the friction. One finger, then two gets inserted and it quickly turns into you riding the palm of your hand when you curl your fingers upwards to hit the gummy spot that shortens your breath. Whimpers turn into moans and before you know it, Kyungsoo's name is rolling off your tongue again like it's the only name you know. You speed up and right before you can reach your climax, there's a knock on your door. Quickly sitting up and adjusting your appearance, you rush over to the door to open it. You peek around the door, shielding your body as best as you can from whoever awaited on the other side.

It was him. The man whose name you were just moaning like crazy. Your face instantly turns a shade of red when you realize that he could have heard you before he knocked on the door. Angling your body further away from the door, you stare at the man a bit longer before he decides to speak up instead.

"May I come in?" He waits for your response which felt like an eternity. “You seem…busy? I promise it will be quick.” He says slightly pushing the door to allow himself in, becoming impatient with waiting for you to speak up and afraid someone would catch him.

It was the embarrassment and the way you had no strength to debate that made you back away and allow him to step past the barrier of your door. He closed it behind him and leaned against it. It was then that he took the time to realize your almost naked frame in front of him.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to attack you then and there but there were more important things at hand. You noticed how his eyes traveled down your body and you finally became conscious of your scantily clad figure, quickly covering your chest with your arms, forgetting that left your bottom half exposed under the sheer gown.

"What is it that you need Kyungsoo? Perhaps we can discuss this in the morning?"

“No! No…it can’t wait. I have to tell you how I feel now before I go insane.” You look at him confused, heart racing the more he spoke. “You’ve been driving me mad since I’ve first laid eyes on you. You’re more perfect than words can describe. I hate myself for not believing Jongin when he would come home and brag about just how pretty you were. I know you understand how I’m feeling too because even now you look at me with an indescribable want in your eyes.”

He walks closer to you and lets his hands rest atop the arms that cover your breasts. He moves them away from your body and lets his hand travel down your right arm, stopping at your wrist. He brings the hand up to his mouth and sucks on the two middle fingers. His eyes close and he lets out a low sigh.

“And with the way you moaned my name while riding these fingers, there’s no denying my existence ignites you from within.”

He looks to you expecting you to prove him wrong, to tell him he had no business confessing his feelings for you when Jongin lay his head a few rooms away, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t acknowledge that his feelings were invalid and not mutual. So when he leaned in closer, you met him halfway and allowed him to connect his lips to yours.

The kiss was needy and filled with hunger. His tongue swiped your lips asking permission and you opened your mouth giving him access to explore you. He wraps a hand around your neck, squeezing the sides lightly and drags his teeth over your bottom lip making you whimper. He begins to pepper light and gentle kisses across your law line and down to your neck where he nips and sucks on the skin. Tongue sliding across your jugular, a moan escapes your lips. He continues his abuse on your neck and brings his hands up to cup your boobs. He massages the flesh, hands dancing across the skin in search for your nipples, pinching them when he finds them. He suddenly halts his movements, cupping your chin in his hand looking at you for what felt like a millennium.

“My love if you want me to stop now, tell me. Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop.”

You grabbed his hand and looked at him with hooded lids, eyes filled with lust.

“I don’t wish for you to stop and I don’t wish to regret this moment.”

His lips are back on yours, this time more passionate and filled with love. He kisses his way past your neck and down to your chest. He goes to suck on your nipple through the thin fabric, massaging the other between his fingers. There was nothing you could do to hold back your moans and he loved every second. Just as you were about to lock your fingers in his hair, he stops and pulls you in the direction of the bed. He sits down on the edge and pats his lap.

"Come here." he says pulling you forward to straddle him. His hands travel up your thighs and settle on your ass, massaging it as he looks back up at you. "Would it make me selfish if I said I was jealous of Jongin even though I have you here like this?" he says pecking your lips after every couple of words. "You were on my mind all day, I couldn't contain myself. I had to come taste you, I wouldn't be satisfied any other way." He moves your hips to grind on his lap and your head falls back as you moan.

You couldn't let him take over just yet, you wanted a clear mind but with the way he had you feeling, you would bet he cast a spell on you.

"If I said you were, then I'd have to call myself something much harsher." You say through broken and choked moans.

Leaning back, he pulls you up so that you now sit on his chest. "I want you to sit on my face, I need to taste you now before I lose my mind."

Hesitant at first, you couldn't shake the thought of suffocating him. He had gained your trust in the short amount of time though and everything else has felt great so far, so you expected he had already weighed the pros and cons.

As if reading your mind, he pulls you up higher on his chest, “I’ll be okay and you'll feel good if you listen, I promise."

You hover over his face for a few more seconds before you lower yourself onto his mouth, your thighs resting on either side of his head. His licks a long stripe from your entrance to your clit and your hips buck involuntarily. A low breathy moan comes from the both of you. He wraps his hands around your upper thighs to stop you from moving. He laps away at you like a parched dog, making your toes curl. You tangle your fingers in his hair to try and regain your control only to fail miserably when he dips his tongue inside. A loud moan escapes you and you can feel him smile against your heat.

"Kyungsoo p-please, it's too much!"

Of course he doesn't stop and instead rubs circles on your clit with the pad of his thumb. At this point your brain was fuzzy, no thoughts running through it. A few more licks and sucks on your clit and you become undone, cumming all over his tongue as you scream his name. He continues to lick to let you come down from your high and then quickly flips you so that your back is against the bed, his chin glistening with your juices.

"Open your mouth, see how fucking good you taste." Not caring about your image anymore, you open your mouth to allow him to dribble the mixture of his own saliva and your essence down your throat. "Swallow."

Not giving you time to process, he dips down to kiss you, the rest of your fluids spreading over your lips. He brings his hand back to your pussy and uses his fingers to tease your folds.

"You're so wet for me baby, is this how badly you wanted me?" You nod as he brings you back into a kiss, easing one of his fingers in. You felt so good around his fingers and he could only imagine how you would feel once he finally got his dick inside. For now, he wanted to take his time and feel every inch of you. "Come here. I want to feel your mouth on me, see how good your throat feels."

You sit up on your knees and see that he's already removed most of his clothing except for his shirt. You look down and see his dick hard, tip touching his belly button. He was big, bigger than you expected but you've also never been with a man like this so there was nothing to go off of as reference. He positions himself back at the edge of your bed and you sit on your knees in front of him.

He tapped on your left cheek, "Open. Tongue out."

Following instructions, he tapped his length on your tongue, precum leaking from the tip. Everything about this felt sinful and in truth it was, but it was exhilarating and you craved the adrenaline rush. Maybe it was the way he looked at you or the way he handled you, whatever it was, it was becoming poisonous. He sat back on the palms of his hands and you took it as a sign to do whatever you wanted. You've only seen things like this in the books that the maids kept hidden in their belongings; you and Vivian sneaking to read them when no one was looking. You had no idea what you were doing but you knew you wanted to make him feel good.

You lick from the base to the head, seemingly doing something right because he hisses and bites on his bottom lip. You kitten lick and place a light kiss on the head before taking his length in your mouth as far as you can go. He hits the back of your throat, making you gag.

"Good girl. Fuuuck...just like that." he reaches down to grab a handful of your hair but not to force you back down. He so badly wanted to buck up into your mouth but didn't want to hurt you or cum too quickly.

You bob your head and hollow your cheeks, sucking as much as you can before easing your way back down. His eyes are closed and his head is back, veins straining in his neck. You brought a hand up to stroke whatever didn't fit in your mouth and the grip in your hair got tighter. Seeing him like this boosted your confidence and also made you wetter. You were testing his self control and if you kept this up he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going too far.

The muscles in his thighs were starting to tighten and he knew he was close. "I don't want to come just yet, I want to be inside of you." You let go of his dick with a pop, eyes watering and saliva trickling out the side of your mouth.

He pulls you back into his lap and into another heated kiss. Without the barrier from the clothing, the skin to skin sent your mind into a frenzy and it made you throb in anticipation. You mimic what he did to you and dragged your teeth across his bottom lip, earning a deep groan from him. He breaks the kiss and once again lets his lips travel to your neck. He trails the kisses up your jaw and bites your earlobe.

"Would you like for me to fuck you so hard you forget your own name?", his breath is warm against your ear and you were sure you made a wet spot in his lap.

"Please, I need you. I can't take this anymore." You could feel him grow harder beneath you when your begging came out more like whines. He roughly pulls back on your hair, exposing your neck to him and he doesn't miss the chance to suck harshly and almost leave hickeys behind. You moan and grind your hips on him, making him curse under his breath. "Please Kyungsoo, I need you. You make me feel so good, I want you so badly."

He stops his attacks and lifts you off his lap to throw you back onto the bed. He hovers over you staring into your eyes deeply. "Are you sure you want to continue? We don't have to."

You were past the point of questioning if you wanted him anymore and you weren't going to pass up the opportunity after getting this far. You wanted your first time to be with someone you chose and right now that was him. "My heart would never forgive me if I said no and I'm not one to not give it what it wants."

He smiles and kisses you once more, "I'll go slow my love, I'll take care of you." He eases his way inch by inch, making sure to give you time to adjust to his size; constantly watching your face for any signs of discomfort.

He was stagnant, not minding that you took your time to get comfortable. You were thankful it didn’t hurt as much as everyone made it seem but knowing the circumstances in which you were doing it, only made it feel like the punishment would be stronger.

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. "Kyungsoo...I want to feel you now."

His pace started slow and steady, ensuring you didn't feel any pain even though you gave him the okay. When you lifted your hips to meet his thrusts, that was all it took for him to speed up. His rhythm is relentless, but you didn't want it any other way. The feeling was beyond words and if there was a way to pause time in this moment you would have done so.

"Look at me while I fuck you. Close your eyes and I'll stop" he says, holding the back of your head so you could look at him. Keeping your eyes open was easier said than done when they closed every time he thrust back in. Every moan you tried to hold back, forced its way past your lips. "Let me hear them, let me hear how I make you feel."

He tried to keep it together, but the way you were clenching around him, he wasn't going to last much longer. It all felt like a dream and it started when he walked through your door. He didn't plan on this but hearing you moan his name before he knocked and seeing the way your fingers glistened when they wrapped around the door only corrupted his thoughts.

"This pussy is mine, tell me it's mine. Tell me you want me to fuck you like this forever."

The combination of him fucking you so deeply and the way he spoke to you made your head spin and you knew your orgasm was approaching for the second time tonight.

"It’s all yours Kyungsoo! Fuck me like this forever, make me yours forever!"

You didn't think it was possible, but his thrusts felt deeper and harder. His head went down to your chest and he sucked a red spot in a place that only he’d know. The blood rushing to that area had him thirsting for more and before he let his teeth break the threshold, your walls fluttered around him violently.

You were sure you saw stars, your legs shaking. It took a few more thrusts from him before he pulled out and finished on your stomach.

Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

It was a close call at most or perhaps it was a sign that he was letting his guard down too much. You were pushing him to the edge of insanity so much so that the side of him he spent so much of his life trying to hide was easing its way to the forefront. If he wanted you to trust him, he could never let you know of the real him.

"That was the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life." It came out almost monotonously but you had no strength to put more feeling behind it.

He smiles and reaches to your bedside table for anything to clean the both of you off. In contrast to how he was a few minutes ago, he was extremely gentle as he wiped the mess you created. Watching him made your heart flutter, more than it did when you were with Jongin. Oh no, Jongin. He hadn't crossed your mind since your walk in the garden with him earlier. The guilt came flooding in and it made you feel sick to your stomach. You were supposed to be marrying Jongin, not Kyungsoo and now with what you've done, you feel like you've ruined your chances of that ever happening.

Kyungsoo notices the shift in your mood and pulls you into a hug. "What's wrong my love? What is weighing heavily on your mind?" he asks, placing a kiss to the crown of your head and small strokes to your back.

"What about Jongin? How will I ever marry him after what we've done tonight?"

He stops rubbing your back, making you look up at him. "I will not be informing him of what happened tonight. It doesn't matter who you marry, you're mine for as long as we live."

You push yourself off of him, "How would that even be possible? I cannot have these relationships coincide."

"He doesn't have to know, and he won't. I can't let you go now that I have you. I want you and I will always want you till the day I die." He cups your face in his hands. "Even if I have to wait 100 years, I will never stop loving you."

Spending this night with Kyungsoo made you unsure of what you wanted, but you definitely weren't sure if what you wanted was Jongin anymore. You wanted to marry him but thinking of being able to have Kyungsoo whenever you wanted him made your heart beat with excitement. The thought made you feel like a whore, but you never meant for any of this to happen. Kyungsoo was irresistible and thinking back on it, he was also very sweet and caring. There was no way you could marry Jongin and be with Kyungsoo, without him or anyone else in your castle finding out about it. All of it was too confusing but for now you wanted Kyungsoo as much as you wanted to marry Jongin, you just wish there was a way to make both things work.

The following day Jongin was stuck to you like velcro which you didn't hate but him being around meant that Kyungsoo was around too. You couldn't help but feel guilty and now there was no reversing it. You didn't regret your night with Kyungsoo but it only complicated things more. Every touch or glance in your direction from Jongin never went unnoticed by him, and he watched you like an animal would stalk its prey. The eye contact was another thing. Each time your eyes met his, it was like reliving your moments with him in your bedroom. You felt your face and body heat up and you prayed the blush didn't show on your cheeks.

It also didn’t help that he looked extra good today. Instead of a blouse, he wore a black vest over a white button down, a single chain accentuating the breast pocket. It fit him so nicely and complimented his wide shoulders.

Jongin sits up in his seat and leaned over the table, resting his head in his hand. "I'm going to go horseback riding, would you care to join me Princess?"

"Sure, I would love to. I haven't been riding in some time though so my skills may not be to your liking."

"Ah well, you can ride on my horse with me if that is best. I wouldn't want you to feel as though you're a burden, even though you truly wouldn't be."

You nod in agreement although you weren't really sure what you just agreed to with feeling Kyungsoo's eyes piercing the back of your skull. It drove him crazy to be this close to you and not be able to touch you. After last night he wasn't sure how he would live without you and tolerate seeing you with another man. Jongin didn't know how good he had it, he could walk around with you freely and not be judged. That's what Kyungsoo wanted, you all to himself. You were his, not the property of a prince. He reluctantly followed the both of you outside and awaited his next order.

“Kyungsoo, do you mind helping the Princess with her boots while I go get my things? I want her to be as comfortable as possible.”

He bows his head lightly and grabs the boots to put on your feet. You take a seat on the small bench between the tall, green hedges that lined most of the garden. He kneels on one knee in front of you and places your foot on top of his thigh. Jongin was barely out of eyesight when he lifts your dress high on your legs. You shoot him a shocked look when you feel him pepper kisses up your inner thigh.

“K-kyungsoo, w-what are you doing? Someone will see…” you try to push his head away before you lost yourself in the feeling. He didn’t take heed to your warning and nipped at the soft skin, letting a moan rip through you. He keeps his eyes on you the entire time. His dick can’t help but twitch watching the way you try to keep your composure and with knowing how easily you can both be caught at any second. He wastes no time to push your thighs further apart while dragging his nails down your other leg.

“P-please, not now. Not here.” was all you could manage to say while trying to stay coherent. You wanted to scold him for being so bold but every time you felt his mouth get closer and closer to your clothed heat, all thoughts of reprimanding him left your head.

You look down to see his eyes on you and seeing him so content between your legs did something to you. He hooks his fingers around the fabric of your panties and pulls them to the side to give himself better access. He licks long and achingly slow stripes through your folds. You had lost the battle of trying to keep yourself together and already had one hand tangled in his hair.

You bit down on your other fist to hush the sound of you moaning but the more he ate you out, the louder you became. As if he knew you wouldn’t be able to control your volume, he slips a finger inside and curls it upwards, hitting the spot that made you weak. At this point you were riding his mouth with the way your hips bucked up against his face. He added another finger and sped up the thrusts. He switched between sucking on your clit and fucking you with his fingers. You were so close now that you could taste it, however he suddenly halted his movements and quickly slipped on both of your boots. You open your mouth to protest but he gives you a look that kept your lips pressed together tightly. He fixed your dress and licked his lips to rid himself of any evidence that he just had his face nestled between your legs.

Jongin returns mere seconds later with a saddle nuzzled under his arm. “Are you okay Princess, you look a bit flushed? Are you feeling under the weather?”

Embarrassing was an understatement and knowing you were in a noticeably messy state, brightened the blush on your cheeks. “No no, I’m alright. Perhaps I should start wearing more sunscreen?”

Your answer seemed to satisfy him as he offered his hand to you to lead you toward the stables. You look back at Kyungsoo who bows as Jongin takes you further away.

Jongin had frequented the palace enough to have claimed one of the horses as his own. It was a beautiful black Friesian horse he named Trophy. When you entered the stable, the horse began to whinny seemingly knowing of Jongin’s presence. He offered it pats and rubs over its head and body before placing the saddle on its back. Making sure it’s secure before hopping on the horse and grabbing your hand, letting you sit in front of him so that he had complete control.

You were practically sitting in his lap with how close he was. You thought you would be behind him and find security in holding onto his waist, but the tables were turned and his arms rested on either side of you as he held onto the reins.

“Are you comfortable Princess?” he looks from around you, almost resting his head on your shoulder. It made your heart flutter and in the moment you wanted to turn your head and lock your lips with his.

“Yes, thank you. Are you comfortable as well?” You heard the smile in his voice when he agreed to your question.

“Please let me know if you need me to slow down or if you’re ready to return.” And with that he snapped the reins and the horse was off, slowly walking out of the stable.

For the remainder of the ride you couldn’t help but notice how good of a horseback rider Jongin was. Every move that he made was precise and calculated and it was like the horse was made just for him. The more the horse picked up speed the more Jongin would rut against you from the force of the gallop. The constant friction was starting to turn you on and you could only imagine what went through his mind behind you.

Although wanting to turn around and straddle him, you were having fun. Horseback riding used to be one of your favorite pastimes and now you wonder why you ever stopped. It was the adrenaline that came from the speed and the wind that blew through your hair that made you feel like you could do it all day. He made Trophy come to a halt and you took a look at your surroundings. It was an area that you’ve never seen before and you questioned whether you were still within the kingdom walls.

“Oh my, this is breathtaking! This doesn’t even feel like home.”

“But it is, it’s just very far away from the palace. I learned about this place while out on a ride and it’s been my favorite to visit ever since. I can bring you here often if you’d like?”

You nodded and he helped you off the horse. It was like a mini oasis within this small forest. The trees were all covered in fresh blooms, a waterfall flowed down into a midsized pond which held some of the clearest water you’ve ever seen.

“Do you like swimming Princess? We can take a quick dip before returning.”

You quickly nodded and a smile lit up his face. He took your hand and lead you closer to the edge of the pond. He began unbuttoning his sky blue blouse and pulled it over his head, revealing his toned abs. You knew he was fit but never knew just how sculpted his body was. Seeing him like this made your insides stir, not dismissing how you finished undressing him with your eyes. He guided you into the water slowly and never took his eyes off you. The water sloshed around you both as you moved further in, your dress already soaked from your waist down. He let go of your hand to give you more freedom and you immediately submerged yourself to drench your entire body.

When you came up, you playfully swatted some water on him causing him to chuckle and mimic the action. The splash fight continued for a few minutes before you both grew tired of clearing the dripping water from your faces. He swam closer to you and grabbed you by the waist. He looked down at you, a mixture of love and lust in his eyes. Looking at you for a few seconds more, he dipped down and placed his lips on yours. His lips were soft and he moved them in such a rhythmic manner, much more innocently than Kyungsoo. You bring your hands up to cup the back of his neck and deepen the kiss.

He pulled you into him some more and slid his tongue over yours, earning a moan from you. He kept one hand on the small of your back and the other rested on the back of your head as he kissed you hungrily. He broke the kiss, chest heaving and lips red.

“I love you” he says as if he couldn’t contain the words in his mouth. He looks at you scared as if he had made a mistake saying it to you.

“I-I love you too Jongin.” You didn’t lie when you said it back. You’ve known him for some time now and being on edge waiting for his proposal further proved just how much you cared for him. The problem now was you found yourself falling in love with Kyungsoo too which was for lack of better words, insensitive.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I can’t wait to make you my wife.”

It was like an arrow shot through your heart as he finished his sentence. Here he was pouring his heart out to you and last night you tangled bodies with his servant whom he trusts. Your conscience scolded you and you wanted to clutch your chest to stop the pain.

“We should start heading back now, the sun will set soon.” he says already adjusting the equipment on the stallion.

Thankfully you sat in front of him so he wouldn't question the tears that streamed down your cheeks. Guilt was hitting you hard, wishing you never made the mistake but not regretting your time with his right hand man.

Kyungsoo is already waiting when you and Jongin return from the stables, his face stoic but his eyes told a different story.

“Please grab the Princess a towel so she may dry herself off, we wouldn’t want her to catch a cold. I shall be inside doing the same.” Jongin walks up to you and kisses your forehead. “I had a great time today and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

You exchange smiles before he walks away and turn your attention to Kyungsoo whose face is twisted.

“You smell like him. Too much like him.”

"What? How?" You looked down, grabbing the closest piece of your dress to see what he smelled on you, yet to your senses you only smelled wet.

Ignoring your question, he picks a towel up from the glass table and pulls you in by your waist. Your hands fall onto his chest and he begins by drying your hair. “Why are you so wet? What did you do with him? You can see right through your dress!”

He wasn’t lying, your dress stuck to you like paint so nothing was left to the imagination. Your nipples poked and prodded their way through the material.

“We went swimming…”

Visibly annoyed, he rolled his eyes and continued drying the rest of you. The sky was already beginning to get darker with the sun declining, but it seemed darker than it should have. Large drops of rain started to fall from above instantly darkening spots on the concrete path. You look up and open your hands to catch a few. You really should get inside before your immune system gave up on you.

“I’m going to go inside.” You go to walk away but he grabs your wrist and pulls you back toward him, catching you again by the waist.

“I'm sorry but I can't help being jealous. If you can’t handle being with me, at least don’t make it so hard for me to stay away from you. You’re driving me crazy, I can’t live without you.”

It was confusing. How could your heart love someone you’ve only known for less than a week? And it was starting to become more so than the person you’ve known for 3 months. How were you to solve this matter when there was no logical answer; always concluding with one or the other?

"I-I don't know what to say."

"Say you love me. Love me forever."

His lips brush gently against yours, once again weakening your knees. You gently shove him away.

"I want to...but you know I can't."

"Hm, I understand. It's best you go in now, you've been out here long enough." He bows slightly and walks away from you. His heart ached, all he wanted was to be able to love you without consequence. He's never hated his life so much than he did now.

"Oh to be reborn again as something other than a peasant" he thinks. Better yet, to be reborn as Jongin would satisfy him the most. All he wanted was you, all he needed was you and knowing he couldn't have you had him torn between anger and sadness. He was becoming desperate now, willing to do any and everything to split you two apart. He hated that he was so weak for you, for being so unlike himself. Tomorrow was the last day of their stay and he was aware of the plans Jongin had with you.

A proposal. A promise of a union between two parties. "In sickness and in health; till death do us part", he would have to hear you say those words and see you seal them with a kiss. It would be torture but he wasn't blessed with royalty nor in a different body and this would be his punishment for letting things get so far with you.

It was late and you have long since been dry. Having taken too many sips from the glass of water next to you, it was best to make a quick trip to the bathroom before you got too comfortable in bed. A single candle in its holder dimly lit your way, your feet slapping against the cold marble flooring. Someone clears their throat softly next to you making you almost drop the candle.

"I'm sorry if I startled you princess." Jongin walks up to you, face illuminating in the small light. "W-would you like to spend the night with me? Tomorrow is my last day with you and I would love if I at least got the chance to share my bed with my future wife."

Admittedly taken aback by his request, you would miss him when he was gone and didn't get much time with him with your mind so preoccupied.

"Everyone is asleep so they won't notice."

You followed him after using the bathroom. You had never been in his room before, let alone any of the guest rooms so seeing how different everything looked made you feel like you already lived together.

He grabbed your hand and guided you to the bed and let you climb in.

"Goodnight my love, tomorrow will be a great day" he says kissing your cheek before turning over with his back pressed against yours.

You laid awake too many thoughts going through your mind to settle into relaxation. Based off of what he said, he was sure to propose tomorrow. It excited you, the thought of being a wife but also his wife. You've waited long enough to get to this point and backing down because of some new feelings would not get in your way. This was a test, you thought, and although you've failed most of it, you were going to make the rest count.

There was a shift in weight behind you and now Jongin no longer had his back pressed against yours. There was something hard pressed against your ass, you knowing what it was almost immediately. He snakes an arm around your waist and pulls you closer making his hard on settle in the crevice of your behind. You grabbed his hand that draped over your midsection and gave it a squeeze, letting him know he could continue.

He kissed his way down from your ear to your shoulder. He rolled you onto your back and hovered above you. The moonlight lit the room just enough so he could see your expression. It felt different, being under him versus being under Kyungsoo. It was like darkness and light, Jongin being the latter.

His hand ran down the sides of your body, taking his time to admire every inch. The gentle touches leaving lingering tingles on your skin. He moved back up to caress your face and finally leaned down to put his lips on yours. After kissing you earlier, he knew he wanted another, not being able to wait for the wedding day. Your lips were soft and he loved how your nose would brush his ever so slightly.

You were like a painting in his eyes, each brushstroke carefully placed to form your very image. But something changed in the way you looked at him since his stay. He had his doubts but seeing his close companion look at you the way he did, he knew there was something there. Not something like he had with you, something so much more mature and unadulterated.

He wasn’t going to let his fear obstruct his goal, he was going to marry the love of his life even if your heart leaned more toward Kyungsoo. He took this opportunity to pour his feelings into his actions and he hoped they would properly relay the message.

His hand reached under your night dress and brushed between your folds through the fabric. You bit your lip as he watched your changing expressions.

“Feels good?” He pressed down a bit harder and quickly swiped over your clit.

You nodded and reached down to massage his dick. It felt thick and warm in your hand and his eyes threatened to close from your ministrations. He discarded you of your undergarments and playfully teased your pussy. He wanted to see just how far he could go before you begged him for more. You reached under his pajamas and released his achingly hard dick from its restraints. He hissed as the cold air kissed the tip making him leak more precum.

He finally let a finger dip inside your cave and he quickly added another when he felt just how wet you were. His dick twitched in your hand. To think he would be able to fuck you whenever he wanted had him already making plans for babies.

You stroked him with both hands now, precum making it easier for your hands to glide over him. One hand reached down to cup his balls and gently roll them while the other fisted closer to the head. He was bucking into your hand, dick growing more sensitive by the second.

His fingers already started to speed up to get you closer to your climax as well. You were both breathing heavily and moaning, falling weak to the work you put into each other. His fingers curled up and hit your sweet spot making your back arch off the bed. Your hands sped up the more his did and your orgasms were approaching quickly.

“Fuck, I’m so close please don’t stop”, he pleaded with you adding his thumb on your clit to speed up the process.

Your words dissolved into the air above you as your vision started to close in. You writhed under his touch and chased your high.

“Oh fuck I’m gonna cum, please tell me you’re close” his fingers were thrusting sloppily but he felt your walls tighten, giving him the motivation he needed to push through.

Your stomach balled into a knot ready to snap and when he came down to suck on your collarbone, you moaned loudly as your climax spilled over. You squirted all over his already sensitive dick and he couldn’t hold back the cum that spurted out onto your chest and stomach.

You winced at the emptiness when he removed his fingers. His hair stuck to his forehead, face flushed red. He dropped down next to you, both of your chests heaving.

“Thank you for making this night special, I’m sorry if it didn’t live up to your expectations.”

You felt sad that he thought that way, not really knowing what made his self esteem so low. You look over at him excited to tell him how much you loved it but his eyes were already closed. You rolled over and pressed a kiss to his temple and rested your head on his chest, sleep coming to claim you as well.

You woke up in a daze, unable to tell how much time had passed. You had to get back to your room before morning came, not needing anyone to find you anywhere else. Jongin’s arm wrapped around your torso and his face nuzzled in your neck--you were stuck. You eased your way out of his grasp and tiptoed toward the door, looking back to make sure he didn't stir awake. You took a deep breath before twisting the knob as quietly as possible. The real mission would be getting to your room and not being spotted by anyone. The floor was cold and you wished you wore socks or at least something on your feet. You ran lightly and as quickly as possible with your arms being the only things that kept you warm.

You passed by a room and heard shuffling on the other side so you moved as fast as your feet would allow.

"What are you doing?"

You stopped in your tracks when you heard the voice. You knew who it belonged to and didn't have the confidence to face him. You slowly turned on your heels and saw Kyungsoo standing in the doorway of his room. He barely wore anything so his body was on full display.

"You frightened me, I'm just going back to my room."

He cocked an eyebrow upwards and stepped passed the threshold of the door.

"Going back?" He knew exactly what you meant but he didn't want to accept that Jongin would be ballsy enough to get you caught in the morning just because he wanted more time with you. Yet he knew he'd do the same especially since his heart was already starting to break into pieces knowing he wouldn't see you for a while after tomorrow. This was unacceptable and borderline unfair. “If you can enjoy getting wet with him, stay and get wet with me.”

Your mouth was dry and you truly had nothing to say. He had a way with his words that turned you into a puddle. You stared at him trying to think of something that would make him let you off the hook. He walked over and stared down at you. He leaned in to kiss you softly, conveying a different feeling than he usually does. His hand comes up to rest on the back of your head, tilting his to gain advantage. He pulls back and look at you.

"Don't leave me to deal with these feelings by myself. If I have to live with you being with him, then just for tonight let me be the only one you think of."

How could you say no? After tomorrow, you would have to act like your feelings for him didn't exist. As hard as that would be, unless you wanted to be executed for adultery, it was all you could do. He escorted you to his room and shut the door, being extra careful to lock it. You followed him to the edge of the bed, watching how he removed the rest of his clothing slowly, making sure your eyes never left him. Your eyes were everywhere, from his face, his chest, all the way down to his hardening length. He cupped your face and dragged his hands down to your neck, then to cup your breasts.

He slowly pulled the straps of your nightie down and left open mouthed kisses on any inch of skin that became exposed. Stopping at your nipples, he made sure to suck and massage them before continuing his journey down your body. Soon the gown reached your pelvic bones and he wasted no time in hooking a finger under the waistband of your panties to pull them down with the rest of the material. You were both now completely naked, skin basking in the candlelight. He pulled you onto the bed with him and sat against the headboard making you straddle his lap.

This time you didn't wait for him to make a move and kissed him with your hands linked behind his neck. His hands were all over you massaging circles into the flesh. Tongues wrapped around each other like a waltz, a work of team effort. Your body called for oxygen, the kiss becoming too intense but neither of you cared enough to let go. You took initiative to stop the kiss before it snatched the last breath in your lungs.

"Ride me." he pressed down on your hips as he ground up against your core.

You let out a shaky breath as you leaned forward on your knees and aligned your hole with the head of his dick. The stretch as you gradually eased your way down was magnificent and he bit his lip as he watched your face contort from the pleasure. The more you bounced on top of him the less he could control his sounds. The squelching noise that came from your bodies clashing only added to the vulgar sounds that filled the room. He ran a hand up your back and grabbed a handful of your hair. He tugged at it roughly and sucked and licked on the vulnerable skin on your neck. His other hand came around to grab your ass, digging his nails in and spreading it so your pussy opened more.

Your head was spinning, so much overstimulation, you knew you wouldn't last much longer. His strokes were getting sloppier indicating he was just as close.

"Fuck-I love you so much" he said through grunts. He knew what he wanted to do next based off of your response. If he were to get over you, he'd have to expose his true self even if that meant scaring you away.

"I love you too Kyungsoo~" your mouth hung open and you moaned his name, toes curling from your impending orgasm. You needed just a little more to push you over the edge.

He took that as a sign to carry out his plan. He let the lust consume him fully, baring his fangs, sinking them into your neck and not letting up on the animalistic pace he set. It was painful but it mixed so deliciously with how he rolled his hips into you. Your eyes rolled back and your body tensed up. It's what has your orgasm hitting you like a train, vision turning white. The feeling was incredible even though as you came down from your high, you can't tell what just happened.

Just the image of you in this moment could make him cum, but that combined with the taste of your blood was heaven sent. He had never had anything like it. So fresh, sweet and pure. He never thought living his fantasy would play out so soon but your reaction was even more surprising. He didn't count on you enjoying it and wanted to use it as an escape route, but here he was drowning in the sight of you cumming all over him which lead to his own orgasm. He sucked in a breath, abs contracting as he painted your walls white.

You looked down at him and couldn’t believe the astonishing sight. He looked beautiful, dashing red eyes and canines sharper than a knife. As the few drops of blood trickled from the side of his mouth, everything all made sense now. The strange man you've come to fall in love with these past few days was a vampire. It’s why he carried such a mysterious aura, why he smelled so ethereal, why his presence was so lethal.

He had you speechless and now he was even more scared awaiting your next words. He licked the remaining drops from his lips, eyes wide. “Please say something.” His eyes searched your face for anything but he couldn’t decipher your expression.

“Kyungsoo…you’re beautiful. I-I don’t know what else to say.”

Tears brimmed his eyes knowing you didn’t hate him for who he was. Though now, his ploy of using this to get over you fell through and he had nothing left to try. Truthfully he wasn’t going to try. He loved you deeply and if he had to live with you married to someone else, he would take whatever he could get. You were his forever, he would never allow himself to love anyone else. He hated that he fought for the top spot with Jongin but the heart wants what it wants and as you said to him before he wasn’t going to not give it what it wanted.

Lying to yourself wasn’t an option anymore. You thought you would be scared seeing him in his true form, but it added so much depth to his character that you couldn’t help but be attracted. You knew now that life without Kyungsoo would throw you into a deep depression. You needed him like your organs needed blood.

Morning came and you felt your eyes had only been closed for 5 minutes. When they finally opened you quickly processed that you weren’t where you were supposed to be. There was a loud knock on the door and you looked at Kyungsoo’s sleeping form next to you. Another knock woke him up and he quickly threw the blanket over you and told you to stay quiet and lay down. He put on whatever clothing he discarded last night and shuffled over to the door.

“Oh, sorry to wake you but I’m looking for the Princess, she’s not in her room and I wondered if you knew where she was but it looks like you haven’t left your room this morning.”

You heard Vivian’s voice from under the cover and cursed under your breath. You swore you would make it back to your room last night and ended up staying with the man you definitely shouldn’t be caught with.

“I will be out momentarily and I will help you look for her. Perhaps she is outside or in another area of the castle.” Kyungsoo made up an excuse as fast as his mind could conjure and shooed Vivian away. He returned to you after he closed the door and removed the blanket from your head. “They’re looking for you, you know what today is.”

You got up and gathered all your clothes before making your way to your bathroom unseen with Kyungsoo’s help. He left your room after kissing your forehead and going to tell Vivian that he “found you”.

What a way to start off your proposal day. You’re just glad that Jongin wasn’t the one running around the castle in search for you. Vivian came knocking on the bathroom door a few minutes later.

“Why didn’t I think to check here first?” She says tapping a finger to her lips when you opened the door. “Your father has requested you meet him downstairs in 10 minutes, so we need to hurry.”

After much preparation in so little time, you made your way down to the main hall to see both of your parents, Jongin and Kyungsoo standing there. You knew what this meant and it had your nerves jumping. After such a long wait, you were finally here at the end goal, something you thought to be so far away. Jongin and Kyungsoo bowed when you reached the bottom of the stairs, a big smile plastered over Jongin’s face.

“As you know, Prince Jongin has been coming to spend his hours with us over a long period of time in hopes that he would one day ask for your hand in marriage. Today he would like to go forward with that and make you his wife so long as you should accept.”

A lump formed in your throat as your father spoke. Tears fought to leave your eyes but you held them back as much as you could.

Jongin went and bowed slightly in front of your parents. “Your highness, if you would please allow me to take your daughter as my wife and protect her with my all as her husband.”

Your parents nodded their head, your mother also fighting the urge to cry. You quickly glance at Kyungsoo whose eyes were watching you. You both knew of what you had to do and would have to deal with it for the rest of your lives. So when Jongin stepped in front of you, you knew what came next.

“Princess…will you accept my proposal and spend the rest of your life with me as my wife?” He looks over at Kyungsoo before continuing. “You will have free reign to do whatever you please as long as you promise to never let your love fade.”

You gasped softly, no longer able to contain the tears. This whole time he knew of your feelings for Kyungsoo but wouldn’t let his feelings for you dissipate. You turned such a happy moment into something sorrowful unbeknownst to the onlookers.

“I accept your proposal Jongin and you have my word.”

Cheers erupted all around you and Jongin pulled you into a hug, him too letting tears fall onto his cheeks.

Your fate was sealed, destined to marry the man of your dreams while you got the dick wet of another. There was no turning back, especially not with the child brewing in your womb belonging to the man you snuck and spent your last night single with. You would have to face the burden of it all one day but as for now, you mentally crossed off today; the day you longed so earnestly for.

[nostalgink]

Due to some past trauma from previous fandoms, I'm not particularly one to engage in fandom related discourse anymore, but when you not only name-drop me, but continue to perpetuate lies about not only me, but also my friends.... that's when I'd rather "clear my name" than allow for a nasty rumor to circulate when I know it's out there.

I want to go through everything that went down in order as best as possible. Even though I’ve spent so much time on this receipt post, truly this issue was something very small, the root of the issue lies with CookieRuby herself, given she decided to continue to create and perpetuate lies and rumors about myself and others. I know she will most likely continue to make up whatever she wants to have happened to obtain pity from those who do not know the context, but I thought that if she was going to do so regardless, I might as well let everyone know mine and my friends’ side of things. Because sadly I got some very worried and confused messages wondering if the statements were truthful. Hopefully this reassures most that they are in fact not.

I also would like to say while I am deeply upset that someone would lie about me like this and continue to emotionally manipulate, then double down on it all… I still do want to say that if you know people who act as such to please help them get the help they need. The timeline of this basically showcases us interacting at 3 points ever, but its obvious in her own obsessive world she has created, it has been brewing with her much longer. Which all of this is genuinely concerning and I hope she gets help. Despite my anger.

In the beginning

I believe I knew about them prior to them joining the old Darkwing Duck RP server I used to be active in back in 2022. If you know me, I follow practically every artist in the fandom. Especially as the fandom loses traction and there are less and less of us actively creating works. So naturally I followed. I even found her oc interesting. I mean why wouldn’t I? Magentus, while more of an oc now than he was in the past, at the end of the day still is my sona so to speak. I love seeing others put themselves into their own work in their own ways. Unfortunately once I got to know them, their attitude towards others when it came to their oc soured my interest.

In a lot of her posts, she makes claims towards my friends and I (as well as I suppose vague unknown other “harrassers” prior to us. I only put it in air quotes because the amount of lying she does, ironic I know, makes me question the validity of anything she says.) that we actively hated and made fun of her for disliking Drakepad. As you can see in the screenshots provided, that is exactly the oppposite.

I also want to mention the screenshots here are an anonymous friend’s server that I used to be active in. In the screenshots provided by Soy, it refers to their old server. Though I believe there is a point in our screenshots where one is referenced in another. (I am currently not looking at them, so I can recall which is referenced in which.) I wanted to make sure there was no confusion with that. These were provided to me by Drake. I could not find them on my own. This was her asking about playing her oc initally. and some stuff I didn't screenshot previously I think?

On Soy’s Side of things

Initially I had another draft of this whole rant, but because of these screenshots I got so peeved that I spiraled into a mad disorganized rage due to the ridiculousness of all of this. So I thought it would be best to rework my words into a more composed response. Personally I had read the first set of messages after they had happened, but when it comes to the discord screenshots, these were new to me. We were all suspicious of her potentially using an alt account on tumblr to ask as a “friend”. Because while I cannot say the same for my friends, I had online friends when I was young who pulled very similar stunts to continue to emotionally manipulate me into remaining their friend and under their thumb. I do not fuck with that sort of behavior anymore. And to note from Soy they said that they had joined their old dead DWD server and immediately dmed them. The obsessive manner of her continuing whatever game she thinks this is is a genuine concern and big alarm sounding that she needs to talk to someone. She is older than me, but I have already dealt with extremely similar people in my preteens, so it’s sad to see someone being so immature like this. (I hit the 30 post limit so the screenshots will be in the reblogs for anything missing)

responses to tumblr posts

Starting with the post that finally prompted this response, I want to cover my personal opinion of each thing mentioned. Unfortunately as you will see, I do not have proof for my own ponytown run in personally, but if you read all of the messages provided, you can probably tell who’s more truthful considering it’s a 1-0 with me having evidence and her none. You’ll notice she remains vague when she can, which is most of the time.

First we need to all heavily note that this was a supposed dream. She is her character Hannah in her dream, alongside Drake. Soy, an anon, and myself appear as “hooded people” in her dream and do an incantation on her in order to curse her to not be with Drake. I suppose this causes a curse that forces Drakepad to be real in her dream? Then we say quotes she is claiming we said. I will get to that in a moment. This is a summary so that if she deletes the post linked, you still have me explaining it. (I wrote this last night, unfortunately as of right now while I was acquiring links she did in fact delete the post. Likely because of my warning post from the other day. So she is stalking my account still.) Then her own oddly crafted happy ending where the spell is broken and she gets her ending of support.

Now I’ll cover the “quotes”

“Drakepad is the only true ship”

You will here her claim people saying this to her often. In reference to my friends, such claims have been proven false. We supported her opinion despite our own. Even comforting her and letting her know its awful for anyone to try and pressure her over such a simple difference in taste. Also adding the fact we supported her oc x canon even though she could not RP it in the old server.

“Darkwing DENIED YOU” with her claiming it is something I said to her in Ponytown.

I will go more in depth in exactly what I said in ponytown further down, but I never once said this. She insisted that my opinion was that her oc x canon was not valid. I was Negaduck in game, then I specifically swapped to my Magentus pony and stated how hypocritical it would be for me to say such a thing. Then proceeded to let her know, though I was annoyed, that it’s alright for her to not ship something she does not like, but continuing to bring up that you hate a ship to people you know don’t mind it or even ship it themselves is rude. Then she proceeded to do something I can only describe as something I am seasoned to as the son of an emotionally inmature mother. Again I will elaborate in the ponytown section.

“She gaved me PTSD by her DrakePad hate. And with her tumblr post who HURTED my friends saying we “FORCED” Drakepad on our server she lied.” Which was aparently what Soy said.

I cannot speak to how soy feels completely on this, but I know they did not develop post traumatic stress disorder from this. Nor have they said this quote if you could not guess. I believe the friend was the one in the screenshots between them and soy on discord I shared above. Again, I do not trust that these are her actual friends. This is not to say she couldn’t potentially have friends who agree with her, I just don’t trust her truthfulness especially with said discord dms. But you as the reader can make your own opinion on that. From what I was told by Soy, they joined (I believe after they realized they couldn’t do oc x canon with our Darkwing in the old server, which was his choice to make.) and asked if they could do darkwing x hannah. Soy and others kindly let her know that they were working on a drakepad relationship, but saw no problem in doing dw x lp x hannah. She accepted I think? But regardless then returned to our server to both brag about how someone finally let her, but soon ranted about how uncomfortable poly stuff made them. Some of this is word of mouth, but you can see other parts referenced back above.

“You deserve no friends.” by an anon

Again, I question the validity of this claim, but assuming someone actually said this to her this is horrible to say to someone. Back in 2020 I dealt with prosh*ppers in a problematic fandom harrasing me because I outwardly was against their adult x minor ship. Unfortunately if you know what fandom I mean. (keep guesses to yourself, I don’t want to bring it up in public.) You know it’s very popular unfortunately. I was sent death threats and people telling me how unworthy of friends, love, or anything they could throw at me. I would never say this to another nor condone saying this to another. Even if CookieRuby is in the wrong here. Everyone deserves the chance to have friends and flourish as a person. I’m angry but I’d never wish such a thing. And while I’m at it I would like to suggest to you as the reader that if you are considering doing such a thing don’t. Block her, move on. It’s not worth it. I’m only here right now to give context, then I’m done. I do not want anyone going after her. I’m just here to show my receipts, not to harrass her. I’d just prove her point if I did that. I’m not that sort of person.

And I was shown her speaking about her inferiority complex. I do not have one, so I cannot speak to how true this is, but considering this was March 2023...it seems despite her admitting this, she has obviously continued to lie about people. So I don’t know if she has that complex, but she is a chronic liar at the very least so there’s that I guess.

Ponytown run ins

The provided screenshots below are from before what I’ll be describing to you. I had to re-listen to a voice note I sent after this. It’s all I have besides the discord message of me realizing it was her. I do not want to attach it just because I keep my voice to myself most times. I’m shy gang.

Starting off I was just finishing my Magentus pony. For a while they had a color palette I had just chose myself without reference and I was finally giving them their reference colors. I was returning to the darkwing rock circle I was hoping to start a darkwing pony hangout at, when I saw a Darkwing pony approach. Now, I don’t know if this was coincidence of perhaps she knows about the hangout from my story. Considering she has alts, she probably was checking my story, but that is speculation. I immediately am eager to friend them because of their pony. But of course the first words from her are “why do you have me blocked?” my mood immediately changes as it hit me that someone had told me prior she had an account. Likely due to the incident in the other ponytown screenshots. I ask to confirm if it’s her and she says yes.

So I simply put that she cause discomfort to my friends and I and that I use the block liberally. During this I am scrambling to try and block her on ponytown too, but unfortunately my block list is too full because I have been blocking Dream SMP ponies left and right. So I decide maybe here is where I can put my foot down on things. I also mentioned a side thing about how the old server I was in had a policy about posting over people, but she seemed to focus on this more. (I do not recall if this was enforced at the time, but still it was focused on way more than the main issue I was bringing up.) I mentioned how she’d post over others. I told her that it wasn’t my main point and to forget that and move onto the main issue. I explain to her as adult as I can back to her Drakepad issue that “You were being rude to people because you could get your ship. We tried to be nice and I just blocked you because I didn’t want to deal with that [anymore].” and the only thing she got from that was me saying “rude” I suppose so she responded saying “oh so I’m the toxic one?” and boy have I heard this one get pulled on me before. It’s giving emotional manipulation. I calmly reply “That is not what I said.” I said something else that I couldn’t recall, though likely just me restating what happened, then she said “well I guess I’m sorry-” I was on a call at this time with my boyfriend while he was on break as this went down, so I began speaking to him irl. I guess I did not respond to her in time because she continued with the classic backhanded comment of “Since everyone wants me to apologize anyway” or something to that effect. It was in that way that someone who does this wants you to just accept the apology even though it was not a meaningful one. She does not have to apologize, no one is making her, but that was her attitude about it. I thought I’d just end it off there with a joke to myself so I didn’t lose it. I went “I have a mother, I can be emotionally manipulated at home, I don’t need this game from you. Bye.” and logged off. Honestly there is when it actually got personal. Somewhere in the middle she insisted what I had mentioned earlier with us hating oc x canon and drakepad and all that and that statement from earlier still follows.

I even have a later note worrying there would be a post on her tumblr, but I checked once and there was nothing so I thought maybe she had gotten over herself…..we are here now so nope. Also this was 2/2/2024 for timeline’s sake.

I was transcribing from a voice note, so if it seems like there are any holes in that ask me, I’ll try to fill in what I missed.

Misc

Lastly here are things I did not know how to organize into the rant. As well as some people making mention to their experiences with her in reply to my Instagram story. I swore I would get all I could and I meant it.

And anyways thank you to those who actually took the time to read all of this mess. I don’t know how I did drama back in the day this has truly been so exhausting to write, but it was important that I did. Honestly despite my anger this is really dumb to have to make, but I do not like being lied about. I especially don’t like my friends also being lied about. And again just block her and do not engage. I do not condone harassment of any kind. I am going to go sleep as I finish writing this. This was a tiring experience. She’ll probably continue but now I am satisfied knowing we’re all on the same page.

[cambion-companion]

Hi! I really loved your Raphael writing, so i got a lovely fic idea. Raphael x reader (platonic). Raphael discovered that reader is another cambion, even more surprising his daughter he had no idea existed. Have a good night/day😼

Hello, my dear! Thank you very much for the fic idea :) You're forcing me to exercise my self restraint I see. I will tweak this just a lil if you're wanting a reader who is Raph's daughter, she would be a Tiefling technically ;)

Let's see how he reacts.

OH and yes this about THAT Tiefling girl you see at the brothel in Act III.

little drabble ahead...

The Sharess' Caress.

A lovely den where the lonely and desperate wandered so willingly into Raphael's capable hands.

He considered himself more magnanimous than most devils, certainly better dressed.

His smile carefully shaped to exact the exact reaction from his potential clients, luring them into a false sense of security.

"Sign your name here, my friend." He said, making sure his voice held no sign of overbearance or eagerness.

The name was scrawled, a new deal was struck. Raphael was satisfied, bowing the latest of many gullible mortals out the door of his den.

He leaned against the doorframe, watching them go, smiling still; though this time he allowed a sinister edge to creep into his carefully crafted brown human eyes.

His ever-keen gaze drifted along the carpeted hallway, drawn to the movement of a gray-skinned Tiefling as she walked toward him, unaware of his presence.

As always, Raphael flicked his eyes over the creature, taking in every aspect of her that showed on the surface. Any sign of a weakness or vice he could potentially exploit.

Her orange eyes were fixed on the ground, a frown upon darkly painted lips.

She bore the obvious traits of a Tiefling descended from Mephistopheles. Interesting. Irony twisted Raphael's mouth in a wry grin as he considered just how she might be related to him.

Her horns gave him pause. Raphael's eyes narrowed. Regal horns, ridged and curving. A set of four, two smaller beneath the much larger pair. An exact mirror of his own.

"A moment." Raphael stepped out into the hallway, not directly blocking the girl's path, but garnering her immediate attention.

She halted, several paces away. Her tail swishing to and fro, a sign she may flee. "Yes?" Her voice wary. She had a modicum of intelligence at least.

Raphael didn't say anything for a moment, trying to gain a sense of how distant a relation to him this Tiefling was. "I noticed your beleaguered expression." He spoke, trying to ease her nerves. His voice just the right amount of soothing, as he'd practiced to perfection. "Perhaps I may be of assistance."

The Tiefling gave him a bemused look, pulling her chin in slightly. Raphael watched her closely, there was something about her that cried out in its familiarity.

Surely, she was not his direct descendent. Granddaughter or even daughter perhaps?

Yet if she was...what a delightful opportunity that would be.

"I don't think you'd offer me anything I haven't tried myself." She finally spoke, a lilting cadence that betrayed caution yet intrigue. "I doubt you could do what I cannot."

He almost laughed. "I assure you, there is very little I cannot do given the proper motivation." Raphael tilted his head and held out a hand, gesturing an invitation to the curious creature. "Come, if you're so self-assured what harm would you suffer from a little chat?"

Her amber eyes focused on his face for a moment, she seemed drawn to him as well. Curious.

With a twitch of her tail, the Tiefling shrugged and stepped with an air of self-confidence and a whiff of challenge into his den. Only Raphael's eyes moved as he watched her move.

Yes, perhaps she was closely related to him after all. He couldn't begin to name all the mistresses he'd taken to his bed over the centuries, it certainly was a possibility not to be readily dismissed.

And if she was his daughter...he would have her allegiance and her soul. Yet another faithful ally to bring more souls and more power to his Infernal doorstep.

[trillscienceofficer]

I was thinking that while Discovery has undoubtedly changed throughout the seasons (some ways long overdue, because if your idea of being "edgy" is just being racist then you get season 1), ultimately it's always been just like itself, very fond of big plots and big speeches, enamored with unnatural dialogue (in early seasons because the writers thought they were being so clever, in later ones because the show is deliberately dumbing its writing down), plagued by poor pacing, and the hopeful message that every season wanted to convey not entirely supported by what actually happens in the story.

In the latter respects season 4 did better than previous seasons, and again I certainly don't want to return to the season 1 approach, but my reluctance to watch season 4 wasn't entirely unfounded, either. I said this before but I'm in the 'generation' of Trekkies whose point of entry to the franchise was Discovery, back when it was a new show on Netflix, and it's always been... so viscerally disappointing to watch it constantly fall short of the potential these characters were offering. Season 4 did not exactly change my mind. If anything the handful of good episodes (which were very good!) made me long even more for the ideal version of this show that I could glimpse in there, and which I could wholeheartedly support and recommend without any caveats.

And I mean, this is not just on Discovery either. All the other live-action shows suffer from the same problems I outlined above, and SNW and Picard staunchly refuse(d) to confront their "edgy" racism issue while also being mediocre TV, so Discovery is still miles ahead of them. I also don't think the more structural writing problems should come as a surprise post-WGA/SAG strike. All these shows have been made on pretty strict budgets, by cutting corners wherever and whenever the production could (eg moving to Canada). I'm assuming the labor practices in the writing room and on set were along the lines of "squeeze these people for all they got as fast as you can, one season at a time" since 2016, and that is not a recipe for thoughtful, or even just sensical, television. (Plus, Discovery has had a history of workplace harassment in the writing room since basically its inception, and that can't have helped. That is hopefully something the show has left behind since season 3.)

So I suppose Discovery will keep Discovery-ing in the next, final season. The plot will be universe-ending, there will be speeches every episode, the dialogue will make you wonder how do these people even live huddled all together without going crazy—if Star Trek is overall an allegory about the workplace, then Discovery now reflects the recent corporate tendency to deflect actual grievances through the use of therapy language and the idea that everyone should be always 100% open about their struggles with everyone else, no matter how appropriate for the situation it is. That sums up my expectations pretty well, I think.

After all these years, I'm unmoved by Discovery's promise of a future where every big problem can be solved if you say the right words, with the right attitude. Contrary to its purported message, the show proved over and over that that isn't even enough to make a scifi show I could find consistently entertaining. But I will still be there to watch season 5, if anything because sometimes I like to see things to their end, and I'm still irrationally fond of this mess and these characters. Perhaps I'll have a good time along the way as well.

[azure-firecracker]

ATLA Live Action Episode 5: Overall Thoughts.

I think this is an unpopular opinion but I didn’t mind that everyone got trapped in the Spirit World this time. This show tends to do better at crafting new material than adapting the original’s material, largely due to the fact that anything they do to that material will most likely pale in comparison. This isn’t to say I think they should rewrite the whole plot, but it’s cool when they get to explore a totally new thing. I like the spirit world as a setting, and I like the “creepy place that none of the characters know how to deal with” trope so that in itself did work for me. I saw people annoyed that Wan Shi Tong was there but I didn’t really care one way or another (with the exception of wondering what they’ll do if they get a Book 2 bc I love The Library). I also saw people annoyed that Aang knew who Hei Bai was right away, but to me that was required for this new plot so again, that didn’t bother me.

On Aang: this episode is where the show’s tone shift really got to me. I like that this show was more willing to delve into Aang’s trauma and how tragic his backstory was: while the original dealt with it well, it had limitations due to its being a kids show. This version had an opportunity to explore it more and I’m glad it did. But this episode was where I started to miss the levity of original Aang. It felt like every line was about his destiny, his guilt, his need to be a hero, etc. etc. And this is great in small doses but it can’t be Aang’s (or anyone’s) whole character. Aang needs to feel like a person beyond the backstory, and in this episode he didn’t (and I know it’s writing not acting because Gordon acted the hell out of those lines as usual). Aang being the only one who could resist the fog felt plot armor-y to me but it’s whatever. I liked the further development of Aang and Gyatso’s relationship, they’re very sweet, BUT this is the billionth instance of the show taking something important Katara did (in this case telling Aang he couldn’t have stopped the Air Nomad genocide) and giving it to a male character. They need to stop doing that.

Katara has gone back to doing nothing and having things happen to her but that was true for everyone this episode so I’ll let it slide THIS TIME! Her flashback was well-done (both Kiawentiio and whoever plays young Katara DELIVERED on the acting). The change of having her mother die explicitly because of her bending, while dark, has potential for really interesting exploration in the future, and also sets up some parallels with Aang if they want to explore that. There are also some rather problematic aspects of it relative to her arc as a whole (explained in this awesome post), but in isolation I think it works as a writing choice.

Sokka’s backstory was also well done and I liked that they laid the foundations for where his insecurities come from. I saw some people saying Hakoda would never say that, but I don’t think he was characterized thoroughly enough in the original to make that call. I also think that he’s a minor enough character that they can make those changes without much of a consequence. I do, however, think they needed to switch Sokka and Katara’s flashbacks in terms of order, because Katara’s is objectively way worse but having Sokka’s after it makes it feel like it’s not and it’s just weird.

Zuko didn’t do a lot this episode but Dallas Liu continues to be great.

Highlight of the episode was definitely the Azula scenes for me (and yes this is definitely influenced by my bias since she’s my favorite character). I wasn’t sure how I felt about her nearly burning the trainer because she’s not a RAAAH ANGER character and I didn’t want them to make her one, but I thought about it and realized it made sense if it was more of an “I’m practicing and I can’t stop” thing. I decided to interpret it that way and give it the benefit of the doubt. Of course I loved the “You’re perfect” “It’s not good enough” exchange. It’s an echo of Azula’s book 2 intro but with a younger Azula who’s with her friends and doesn’t have to wear the same masks and hasn’t beaten all the insecurities out of herself yet. I like that this show is allowing her to show so many emotions right off the bat. I loved Azula as a villain in Book 2 but it felt like the original didn’t decide they wanted her to be more than that until mid book 3. This show wants her to be more layered right off the bat, and as someone who always advocates for acknowledging Azula’s depth I really appreciate that. I also loved the shots of her training and just being so frustrated with herself during Gyatso’s final monologue. The narration suited her well and it was something I always pictured her doing when I imagined her life in between Zuko’s banishment and Book 2. It felt very in character.

My overall impression was that not a lot happened in this episode. Like, almost nothing happened. They introduced a cool new setting which I think worked. They used the lack of plot to do some good character work, with varying degrees of success. The flashbacks were good, but the show needs to do more thinking on how those events shaped the characters beyond just having them be their trauma. The main trio’s dynamic did improve a little bit in the spirit world. Sokka and Katara both got to be snarky which was great, but I do still feel like that dynamic is lacking and I can’t put my finger on why. I think it’s serious tone because every time the three of them are together they’re talking about some massive thing. They’re never just…together. I appreciated that this episode had some together time, even if only a little. Azula was by far the highlight (for me) I hope I like her future scenes just as much. And here’s a reminder that anyone who hates on Lizzy Yu for not looking exactly like a cartoon character is not welcome on this blog.

I’ll give this episode an 8.4/10 (elevated because of the Azula scenes).

[thesherrinfordfacility]

we need to talk about maggie.

ive thought on this slightly before, but im essentially erasing that post and going to go gung-ho into the depths of speculation on whether there may be more to maggie than meets the eye... because - well, something doesn't seem right, does it? and no, i don't think she's a demon. in fact, i think she's the opposite.

right - im just going to put it out there. i think maggie used to be an angel, and took the same kind of route that gabriel did. i think muriel may have been her mirror, where they similarly got Got by metatron, but the demotion-punishment threatened to gabriel actually worked. bear with me on this, and ill explain (in no particular order):

trapped in the coffeeshop

one of the major indicators to me is where nina and maggie are trapped in the coffeeshop. because even if it's close to closing time, it was light outside, and there were plenty of people still on the street. banging on the windows would have made someone notice. in fact, even when it's dark out, and that one passerby happens to go past, they actually acknowledge nina and maggie, but do nothing.

maggie also remarks that she can see her shop has its door open, and that anyone could go in and rob it; in fact, seems strange that noone does. however, the thing that is eerie to me is the following:

a scenario that potentially seems a bit familiar...

however, i don't think maggie is consciously doing it. and tbh, i don't think aziraphale is consciously doing it either. both scenarios have massive implications for agency and free will, setting up scenarios where they are essentially in a curated environment where they can instigate a romantic interaction with the subject of their affections... and things get out of hand. but it does seem that aziraphale's power channelled through this motive is amplified, and it's potentially the same for maggie.

one thing i will remark is that aziraphale's magic certainly seems to at least affect maggie, but she does seem halfway compos mentis throughout it - acknowledging the oddity of it, but not thinking much further. now, if maggie has the same kind of ability, could aziraphale be similarly afflicted in kind? say, falsely recollects maggie's great-grandmother, or indeed anything else that maggie might hypothetically falsely recollect, a story she might have had implanted or spun subconsciously for herself? (a stretch, i know, but work with me here)

simple thing #1 - earrings

not each of these reasons are going to be insightful, so here; have a look at her earrings (i tried to get the best screencap possible, promise):

(they look like angel wings) and again seem to echo the wing-theme in other gold jewellery we've seen:

"say that to my face!"

im going to practically lift this directly off of my original maggie speculation post, but: there seems to be a theme of both the bookshop and the bentley now needing direct permission from either of aziraphale or crowley for other angels or demons to enter - the bentley one is explicit by means of shax needing aziraphale's permission to enter in ep4, but he also implies in ep2 that crowley likewise has the power of permission for the bookshop, even if crowley doesn't quite cotton on until maybe ep6.

regardless - the issue appears to be that the way that this is put across is that the bookshop in particular is theirs, and it's their permission that matters. but maggie slips up, invited in the demons in ep5, and so on it goes. now this could be easily explained by her own shop still being within the boundary line of the sanctuary, as her shop was originally carved out from a backroom of the bookshop.

but in which case, why would her power hold sway anyway, if she's a human? crowley couldn't give permission (or so he thought) for shax to enter the bookshop, so why would she be able to, if she were human? if she's not an angel, why would her permission to enter the sanctuary - specifically through the bookshop doorway and regardless of her shop being in the boundary - have any weight in the angel vs demon dynamic? it might be because she herself is under aziraphale's protection, but that seems a bit... unlikely? (she says, whilst speculating that maggie is in fact essentially a renegade angel)

simple thing #2 - drinking

miscellaneous items

as i remarked in this LWA response, she seems to be the closest aziraphale has yet gotten to any human; something-something about crowley's line on angels and beehives

the misspelling of "urgency" seems like a rather in-your-face red herring pointing towards her being a demon. put simply, wouldn't be surprised if it were to essentially suggest the exact opposite instead

gabriel was originally sentenced to be memory-wiped and demoted to 38th scrivener, which people have speculated on as being potentially what happened to muriel, in their being 37th. gabriel however opts to leg it out of heaven, and gets wiped en route. could something similar have happened to maggie? after all-

there are other bits and pieces that just vaguely don't seem right about maggie, which im sure i'll come back to at some stage. it might be that she was actually fully yeeted out of the BOL and so she's essentially now a human where the angel element of her 'never existed', but something went a bit screwy and she's still capable of some angelic power. it also - and i fully believe this too - might be that she is just genuinely reflective of certain pivotal moments that occur in s2, a walking embodiment of foreshadowing! but at the same time - i think there possibly might be some truth in others saying that there is something not quite right about maggie.

[witchonthebeach]

So, on the dilema about how to make and use sigils discretily, I may have come up with something: ✨numerical sigils✨

It is extremely simple to do and its not very artistic or particularly pretty. It is as its name suggests: a string of numbers, so you could write on your hand or a piece of paper or on a digital post-it in your laptop or cellphone and no one would bat an eye (which is extremely useful for a closeted witch like me).

I got the idea from my job, where i use a lot of part numbers, or PNs for short. If you are familiar with the concept of a PN, you know that it is a code that refers to an item in your ERP/system/whatever. It is a way to categorize and identify things in a database.

Usually, the process of creating a new PN follows a set of rules like type of product, size, technical characteriscs and so on, followed by a serial number (1, 2, 3, ..., 100, etc). The result is a unique code that refers to only one especific item or product.

Now, i didn't came up with anything fancy for this part, but i think it has a lot of potential. For now, I am stiking with a table that goes from 1 to 9 (bc 9 is a perfect number) and each letter from the alfabet is assigned a number:

The process of creation is simple: write the word or frase of your sigil, take the vowels out and swap the remaing letters with their respective numbers. That is all. There is some wiggle room here to customize your sigil: you can take out the numbers that apear more than once, for exemple.

You could argue that it takes all the fun out of creating sigils, but for me personally it helped focusing on the intent/goal of a sigil. Also i love the practicality of this method.

Anyways, its a work in progress and very experimental, but im sharing it regardless.

[ceterisparibus116]

Soo, how do you feel about She-hulk's finale?

oh, gosh. 😂

Jen taking control of her own story was EXCELLENT...in theory. In practice? I have two issues (one of which has two sub-issues).

The first issue is lack of setup. The second issue is...well, we'll get to the second issue.

With regard to setup, ask yourself this: what was the conflict introduced in Episode 1? A good story will hook readers with the main conflict (or at least hints of the main conflict) early on.

For example, in Daredevil, the third (3rd!) scene introduces the problem of human trafficking, which is being orchestrated by Fisk. The first episode continues to show us hints of Fisk's operations. Fisk's threat, and the threat of the other villains, even gets its own montage at the end of the first episode.

We also get hints, from the beginning, of Matt's internal conflict. In the second (2nd!!) scene, we see him wrestling with guilt as he asks for forgiveness for what he's "about to do." In the fourth (4th!!!) scene, we see hints of conflict between him and Foggy, as he lies to Foggy about what he was up to the night before. The lying comes up again with Karen, when Matt saves her in the mask without revealing his identity.

So by the end of the first episode of Daredevil, we have a good understanding of the external conflict (dealing with Fisk) and Matt's internal conflict (reconciling his morality and his choices, and lying to his friends).

Contrast this with She-Hulk. What conflicts do we see hinted at in the first episode of She-Hulk? We see her dealing with the effects of being a Hulk, we see her feeling misunderstood by Bruce about what being a Hulk means for her, and we see her desire to not have to transform into a Hulk, and the episode ends highlighting just how much her life is about to change now that she's gone public as a Hulk.

Where, in the first episode (...or the second episode, or the third...) do we get a hint that actually no, the conflict of She Hulk is whether Jennifer is in control of her own show?

The only thing I can think of are her remarks to the camera about "Don't forget whose show this is." But this, this, this is in the context of cameos. Cameos that aren't even a bother to Jennifer, except to the extent that fans get distracted by them and stop caring about her. In other words, it's not Jennifer resisting the writing. It's a conflict over a potential response from fans.

Once in a while, you get more pointed comments about the writing (such as when she was surprised to find that the episode with Matt didn't end after their night together), but at least at the beginning, during that crucial set-up period, the show absolutely did not convince me that Jennifer's conflict would be with the writers.

And...okay, just think about how awesome that would've been.

Like, imagine this: instead of Jennifer being frankly quite selfish with her powers (her "haha I'm so lucky I don't have to wear headphones at night unlike other women" comment is actually disgusting given that she didn't bother to go protect other women from the danger she was celebrating escaping), imagine a Jennifer who got her powers and immediately wanted to use them to help other people...only to find herself thwarted by demands of the plot. She keeps trying to circumvent it, only for the writing to get in her way again and again. Maybe initially she doesn't see it as anything insidious, but as time goes on, she starts to realize the writers are doing everything in their power to force her to just be a lawyer, and not help people as a Hulk.

Wouldn't that: a) make Jennifer a much more likeable and admirable character; b) give the finale much more impact; and c) give us a consistent conflict that could shift and expand over the course of all the episodes?

Okay, moving on. The other issue is more straightforward.

There's this thing in writing called "lampshading." Lampshading is when you call out potential flaws or hard-to-believe aspects of your own writing. The purpose of this is to reassure your audience that you, the storyteller, understand when something feels a little wonky. This is important for maintaining trust between the storyteller and the audience. The audience needs to believe that the storyteller can tell a good story, and that requires the storyteller to be able to recognize when parts of a story are a little...not great.

There are two problems with She-Hulk's use of lampshading.

First, lampshading is always dangerous. It always breaks the audience's immersion and reminds them that they're watching (or reading, etc.) a story that was written by someone else. Now, good lampshading does so strategically, often in order to maintain pacing or perhaps for comedic effect. The point is not to linger on whatever is being lampshaded; you acknowledge it because you must, and you move on as quickly as possible, so that the audience can get immersed again as soon as possible.

What you must never do when lampshading is lampshade something ridiculous that's key to your story. Because this will suspend your audience's belief in something that's key to your story.

Honestly, I think Defenders made this same mistake. Having Jessica highlight the absurdity of the Hand ninja stuff was actually having Jessica highlight the absurdity of the plot. Now instead of the audience laughing at some weird shenanigans in the story, we're laughing at the plot. Not great.

But at least Defenders had the respect for its audience and its storytelling required to not make fun of the climax - the heart of the story. Matt's self-sacrificial love for Elektra is "played straight" (as in, not lampshaded), and the emotional reactions of characters like Foggy, Karen, and Claire are likewise allowed to feel heavy and real - without any interjections to laugh about how weird the ninja stuff was.

She-Hulk, by contrast, lampshaded the absurdity of its own climax. Or, sort of. We got a second climax in her debate with Kevin. But the pre-climax, at least, was lampshaded horribly. The writers called out every sloppy writing choice they made in that moment. And this made me take a step back, metaphorically, from the whole story - including Jen. I had to ease back into the story during her debate with Kevin. But the impact of the debate with Kevin hinges in part on the audience feeling bad for Jennifer in having to deal with the sloppy writing. But by lampshading it, I no longer feel like I'm in the story with Jen feeling bad for her...I'm outside of the story, watching the bizarreness, and going "What the heck."

Imagine if, instead, the problem with the climax hadn't been terrible writing per se. Imagine if the problem hadn't been characters coming out of nowhere (like Tatiana and Bruce) and causing chaos. Imagine if instead, the climax had been generally feasible, with real emotional stakes...and the only "problem" was that Jennifer was saved by a man (like Bruce...who was there for legitimate reasons that were set-up earlier in the episode or, ideally, in a previous episode). Imagine if in that context, Jennifer goes and talks to Kevin and is like, "Wait, no. I'm saving myself. Also, I don't need a physical fight with scum. I'm going to beat them in court. Thanks, bye."

That would still give her that moment she needs of standing up to her creators, but it wouldn't require that moment to stand on the very wobbly shoulders of...well, sheer chaos in the scenes leading up to it.

The second issue with lampshading is just...ugh.

If you're self-aware enough to call bad writing what it is, shouldn't you also be self-aware enough to not write it that badly in the first place?

Frankly, it felt so lazy to me. As if the writers wrote something they knew was trash, and then called themselves ingenious for acknowledging it was trash. No, the ingenious thing would have been to write something that wasn't trash in the first place.

...Which they could have done so easily if Jennifer's conflict with the writers had been set up properly in the beginning.

And that's my rant.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Movie Thoughts: Emails

The emails are my favourite part of the book, partly because that is how I show affection: I write lengthy letters to my friends during their special occasions, and I keep every message of love they send me in a cherished chest. The emails detailed their growing relationship and love not only in a wonderfully written way but also in a way that speaks true and is personal to me.

That being said, I went into the movie knowing they can't do the full extent of what's in the books out of practicality: the audiobook takes like fifteen minutes to read an email, and with visual media, there has to be something on screen, and long montages don't work. I've accepted this and just was curious about how they were going to deal with it.

And I liked that part of the film! It wasn't as innovative as how the texting scene was done, but texting allows that since texting is a conversation, basically talking online, while email is not that, and is something closer to continuous monologues, so it can't be presented in the same way. What we heard was less poetic or epic than the book emails, but it was soft, sweet and adorable in its own way, and I loved the book quotes we did get: "When we’re apart your body comes back to me in dreams" & "I'll be damned but I miss you", and I do wish it was longer and we got to hear more.

But with that being said, two things I noticed:

1. From the middle until the end of the email scene. I think starting from Henry's "Wait don't they have napkins in Texas?" line, there are actually at least two overlapping audios of their emails playing, it's just one is louder and subtitled. All I could pick up from the other audio is

Alex: Dear Henry, I miss you too Henry: Dear Alex/ Affectionately

but there's definitely more, I just couldn't pick the words up. So what is the other audio??? What are the other emails ??? Are there more that was recorded but wasn't even put in the movie??? I NEED to KNOW!!!

2. We may not get a lot of emails in the movie, but when the emails were leaked, the newscaster who questions Miguel says there's 72 emails, and the British newscaster still calls them "the Waterloo letters", which means in universe, the "Hometown Stuff" email thread, with “memories are difficult", " I thought, it someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire", and my favourite:" A INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES" with certain changes to fit the movie canon, EXIST IN UNIVERSE, even if we don’t see/heard it.

If I'm gonna stretch this point a bit further, since Henry looked so damn broken (applause to Nick here) and Alex mentions “most private and intimate thoughts", "fear and truth", and honestly as sweet as it is, I don't think the emails shown in the movie reaches the level of "most"," I imagine most if not all emails in the book still took place and were written between movie Alex and Henry with certain changes: "Paris?" during the time jump between polo and Paris, “You are a dark sorcerer” maybe after their night in Paris, "A Mass of fools and Knaves" maybe a little earlier than where it is in the book, or have the "Dear Henry, so I just came out to my mom” be the last email in that thread, "Bad metaphors about maps" between runway goodbyes and the email leaks...

I literally don’t know if this brain rot made me happy about the potential cross-universe point that is their emails or even sadder that these were the bleeding words that fucking asshole Miguel leaks to the world. Henry’s face during the whole scene breaks my heart into pieces.

But there you go, something to think about.

P.S: Also I really really really want to hear Taylor and Nick read the book emails :D

[rosenongrata]

an offer taken – i

summary: After running into Galene – a Dreamscape Motivator – in the Golden Hour of Penacony, Dr. Ratio and Aventurine find themselves trying to get information out of her – only for the tables to turn.

a/n: i am bored. more HSR OC blurbs. woo yeah?

cw/s: mostly just the boys going at each others throats (normal). sort of OC x Canon but also not really. OC-insert. POTENTIALLY OOC.

wc: 1.2k

"You truly think a naive Dreamscape Motivator will have any…tangible information? You sound desperate." Dr. Ratio sighs, his gruff voice filled to the brim with mild disappointment.

"Bet!" Aventurine protests, "I found one not too long ago, actually. I have a good feeling about her." He says with a pointed finger and prideful grin, but never does his smile reach his eyes.

"Okay…" Dr. Ratio holds back a groan, "And what is her name? Where is she?" He crosses his arms, his features stricken with what could be boredom.

"Follow me, my good sir!" Aventurine nods before striding away, his "friend" not too far behind him. "Her name is Galene. She's got a really sweet smile!" He notes aloud.

"…I am far too uninterested in what her smile is like, Aventurine." The doctor's eyes roll.

"C'mon, Dr. Ratio, lighten up a little! You have to appreciate the little things life has to offer sometimes." The blonde advises sagely.

"…Right." The azure-haired man sighs.

"Hey again, Ms. Galene! Or, uh—" Aventurine stumbles over his words as he takes smooth steps up to her seat outside of a restaurant, "Are you…?" He blinks, curiously glancing down at her where she sits.

"Hehe, I am not married…or even with anyone." Galene smiles, her light pink eyes twinkling under the Golden Hour's city lights. She places the small cup of her drink back down on its coaster.

"Ohhh," He nods and grins, "Are you looking for anyone—"

Dr. Ratio clears his throat loudly from behind Aventurine – he's had enough shenanigans for one day. The professor would much rather get this meeting over with as quickly as possible. All he desires is a long, hot bath to cleanse himself from the filth and sins of the world—

"Oops." Aventurine laughs sheepishly, "This is Doctor Veritas Ratio – he, uh, is…a friend of mine!" He lies through his teeth.

"Good evening, Dr. Ratio," Galene rises to her feet, offering her hand to the esteemed doctor, "I'm sure Mr. Aventurine has already told you, but… I am Galene, a Dreamscape Motivator. It's my pleasure to meet you." She nods.

Despite his initial hesitation and how he stared a little too long at her hand, he gives her a firm handshake – only to have it returned rather roughly. He blinks - swearing to himself that she was about to rip his arm off during it. She could use some practice, that much he knows.

(I cannot tell how earnest and sincere she is right now… Albeit, I have barely met her, but… Something about her strikes me as odd.) He gives her a nod, keeping his thoughts to himself for now.

"Would you like me to order you two some drinks? I don't mind." Galene takes her seat at the table once more, one hand resting near her cup and the other on her lap.

"Sure! That sounds great! Although, I could pay instead, Ms. Galene. I'd hate to take your money away from you…" Aventurine offers.

"If she wants to pay, then let her pay." Dr. Ratio hisses.

Galene snickers, "Please, it's my treat." Her eyes crinkle with her smile.

And so the men take their seats, placing their drink orders in for her to pay for. Aventurine feels a tad bit of guilt in his gut but neglects the wrenching in favor of giving her his utmost attention. Dr. Ratio – on the other side of the table - merely listens to them chat, regardless of how bored he is with the whole scene.

Galene pushes her black-haired ponytail behind her shoulder before taking a sip of her dark-colored drink. When she sets it back down – handling the cup like porcelain – she turns her attention back to the two men.

"How are you both faring this evening?" She inquires, her voice soft and light - nowhere near intrusive to one's thoughts. If anything, hearing her speak is like a loving lullaby before bed.

"We're doing fine, thanks for asking!" Aventurine nods.

"I was going to say I am quite bored, actually." Dr. Ratio huffs, his arms crossing again under his chest.

"Aw, don't say that…" His comrade smiles wearily, "Sorry about him… He has no friends."

"Pardon?" Veritas groans.

Galene is hardly bothered by their bickering – if anything, she finds them amusing, eliciting soft giggles out of her. The men shoot her confused stares.

"I like you two already." She smiles a little brighter, "I know you probably find each other insufferable, but…" She glances away while she brushes stray hairs out of her face.

"But…we are amusing. Our plights are amusing—" Dr. Ratio deadpans.

"Y'know, I'm taking that in stride." Aventurine snickers, "A Dreamscape Motivator must be stressed a lot of the time with…the work they have to take on."

"I suppose so," She nods in agreement, "I'm not too stressed or overworked, though, I'm pretty happy so far. It's…nice to see others cheer up and smile."

"Fair enough." The blond shrugs, "You're very compassionate, Ms. Galene—"

"Must I sit here and watch you fail to flirt with her at every turn, Aventurine?" Veritas intercepts.

"I'm not—" He sighs and goes to retort, but is interrupted again.

"I beg to differ." The doctor scoffs.

And they break out into a hushed argument, leaving Galene to observe them up close.

(Silly boys…) She glances at the professor, (He's calmer but uncomfortably aloof and forthright. I'd even say he's a little too rude for his own good. He seems so confident, but he’s covering up insecurity.) She looks to Aventurine, (And… Aventurine is a sweetheart, but he hides things from everyone…even himself. I can see it in his vibrant yet lightless eyes. He's missing pieces of himself right now… Truly a pity.) She glances at the busy streets, (What would HooH think?)

“Well, boys, it’s been a fun time - thank you so much for the plentiful entertainment, hehe.” Galene snickers, poking fun at their poor chemistry.

She then swiftly rises to her full height – legs and back straight as she straightens her clothes and plucks her purse from the table.

“Are you leaving? We were such poor guests. Any way I can make it up to you?” Aventurine immediately offers, his smile softening when he locks eyes with her.

“I must leave, unfortunately. I have an appointment in reality soon,” She sighs wistfully, “But…” She hums thoughtfully.

“But?” The men say in unison and proceed to throw dagger-like glares at each other.

“But!” She perks up, grabbing a small business card from the breast pocket of her feather-lined coat, “…Feel free to contact me any time. You’re both cute in your own ways, so… Think about talking to me at my office some time soon. Though, one at a time, please.” She slides the card to Aventurine, the tips of their fingers kissing on accident,

“I’d love to pick your brains.”

She then promptly leaves after those rather ominous words – not giving the men a chance to say anything once they broke out of their speechlessness.

“Haha…” Aventurine laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Hoo boy… She, uh…” He sputters, unsure how to convey his thoughts.

“I do believe she has already figured us all out from this meeting alone. Why else would she offer us…therapy?” Dr. Ratio sighs heavily.

“Y’know what? I agree with you for once. She’s got us figured out.” The blonde sighs with him in unison, “I gotta say, though… We both sorely underestimated her.”

[quiverymango]

Guys, Ship in a Bottle by fin is SUCH an Omori and Sunny flavored song. 

The rest of this post is just me dissecting the song practically line by line under an Omori lens because I have a vision in my head that needs to be let out into the void, so keep reading if you’re interested in that lmao. Long post ahead!

—

So as a preface, I think Omori would be the one singing this song to Sunny/Dreamer as he is the “captain” that’s truly in command of it all. I think you could easily flip the roles though and have Sunny singing to Omori if you wanted more Hikikomori route vibes! Ok, let's continue:

------------------------------------

“You can fit everything you know

In a bottle for you to show

Pick your brain apart and put it in

And build it again with needles and pins”

So here we have the creation of Headspace. It is made up of everything Sunny allows himself to know as he takes his broken reality and builds it up again in his head–painstakingly cherry-picking and crafting aspects of it to suit his idealistic vision. The "bottle" in this is the confinement of the Dreamer only allowing happy childhood memories to dictate what is created in Headspace. Severely limiting its potential.

—

“Everything you have earned is a ship

With blue waves crashing into it

But nothing can touch your happy thoughts anymore

With your glass ceiling, walls, and floor”

Again, this is generally about Headspace, which is a "ship" in this context. The blue waters crashing into the ship could be see seen as all the times the truth got through in various ways and Headspace had to be reset. The line “But nothing can touch your happy thoughts anymore” is a real standout here because, ya know, Headspace lol. It also emphasizes that no mater how many times Headspace has to be reset, it will still be a place to protect Sunny's happiness. The “glass ceiling, walls, and floor” showcase how fragile this world is though, and could allude to Black Space, which is clearly visible right outside the boundaries of Headspace, as seen in the game.

—

“Sailing on a ship in a bottle

Anchor all your thoughts to the bottom”

The first line highlight's that, while Headspace is a vast place, it is confined to the "bottle" that Sunny put it in when he only allowed for vivid childlike memories/scenarios to be lived out. It could also call attention to Black Space lurking just outside the boundaries of Headspace, meaning it can't really grow or expand past what it is. The second line is obviously all the Deep Well layers and the truth at the bottom lol.

—

“Pulling ropes and pulling your head back

To see what is breaking the foremast”

This was a little harder to interpret with the Omori lens, but I take it as Omori searching for Stranger since he’s “breaking the foremast,” aka the illusion/purity of Headspace. I take “Pulling ropes and pulling your head back" as Omori willingly going towards areas close to Black Space to try and stop Stranger.

—

“You set sail alone, there is no crew

No one on the deck who can help you

This is all your own battle to win

This is your ship and you are the captain”

Here we have what I envision as a “flashback” to Sunny isolating himself from the real world. He “sets sail” alone to combat the fear of those he holds close learning the truth. Due to this, no one in the real world is on deck to help him, so the battle’s are all his to fight. This life he’s created for himself is the ship, and he is the captain. 

—

“Oh, captain, let's make a deal

Where we both say the things that we both really feel

I feel scared and I'm starting to sink

And I only sink deeper the deeper I think

Oh, captain, oh, captain, deal

Oh, captain, deal, oh, captain, deal, oh”

I picture this as Omori pleading to Sunny. He’s terrified of the things he’s learning the deeper the Dreamer is commanding him to go. He’s sinking, losing control over Sunny as he remembers the truth. Honestly though, I feel the line “Where we both say the things that we BOTH really feel” is greatly up to interpretation. I mainly see it as a manipulation attempt on Omori’s end to get Sunny to stop searching for the truth by making a deal to tell him what he truly feels–which is that Sunny’s only going to regret what he finds, and that he should just give up. In return, if Sunny tells Omori he feels that he should continue forward, Omori could try and use that against him to preserve Headspace. The use of the word “both” could be taken literally, like something they both truly think, but I take it as Omori’s warped sense of reality talking, and again, another attempt at manipulation as he tries to get Sunny to wrongly believe he wants to give up the fight.

(These are also the lines I could definitely see Sunny singing to Omori. Sunny’s grown terrified as, the deeper he goes, the more he sinks into the truth. He sees Omori as the captain and is pleading with him to make the pain stop–definitely during the Hikikomori route and or Bad Ending. As for this version’s “Where we both say the things that we both really feel” I think the “both” is more literal since in these routes Sunny wants what Omori wants–which is to suppress the truth forever. Sunny would be feeling hopeless at this point in the story and Omori would remind him they both want to stay in the sanctity of Headspace forever and that only he has the power to make that happen.)

—

“There are red spots under your eyes

From when you cry into the sky

Ocean waters rising above your neck, mmm

You feel the glass start to crack”

First lines are pretty self explanatory lol. Someone PLEASE give Sunny a hug. The next two lines are again the Deep Well layers, as the waters “rise,” aka the group travels deeper down. In doing so, the glass walls of Headspace are beginning to crack and the truth/Black Space starts to seep through. 

—

“Sailing on a ship in a bottle

Water's leaking through holes in the bottom

Flying flags of ships that have long since

Sat at the floor of the sea, but in defense

You set sail alone, there is no crew

No one on the deck who can help you

This is all your own battle to win

This is your ship and you are the captain”

Like I said previously, the truth/Black Space are leaking through the cracks in Headspace. I picture this line more as the waters/knowledge from the Deepest Well/The Abyss, as it’s leaking from holes at the bottom. Not really an important detail, I just thought I’d add it lol. As for, “Flying flags of ships that have long since sat at the floor of the sea,” I love the idea that the other ships are the previous versions of Headspace. We know Headspace has been reset many times by the Dreamer whenever the truth seeps through, and we even see a reset happen when Basil sees the polaroid of Mari in the prologue and begins to remember the truth. Every new variant of Headspace is another “ship” setting sail–the old ones left to rot in the deepest parts of Sunny’s mind. The last three lines once again reinstate that even though Sunny created the Headspace versions of his friends, they can not truly help him. He has no crew and is sailing alone–fighting a battle he must win. 

—

“Oh, captain, let's make a deal

Where we both say the things that we both really feel

I feel scared and I'm starting to sink

And I only sink deeper the deeper I think”

Another plead from Omori as Headspace #crumbles.

—

“Oh, captain, make up your mind

Before the salt burns your eyes and you run out of time

'Cause you're popping the cork, you get lost in your brain

And you lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane

Oh, captain, oh, captain, deal

Oh, captain, deal, oh, captain, deal, oh”

This part was the part that inspired me to write this as I can so vividly imagine Omori angrily/frustratedly begging Sunny to make up his mind on whether or not he truly wants to break away from Headspace and remember the truth, or instead give up and go back to repressing it once again. I picture this happening during the Red Space portion of the True Ending. I like to think “Before the salt burns your eyes and you run out of time 'Cause you're popping the cork, you get lost in your brain And you lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane" is some sort of scare tactic against Sunny as Omori doesn’t want to disappear or loose control, so he argues that Headspace is the only thing that is keeping Sunny “sane” and if he breaks away from that he’ll lose touch with his sanity due to the guilt/possible rejection from his friends. Omori truly doesn’t know/think that Sunny is capable of handling the truth since he was practically “programmed” to think that way when he first came into existence, so it makes sense he believes that Sunny would be worse-off without the blissful escape of Headspace. He’s a coping mechanism after all, and those aren’t always healthy unfortunately. Omori’s truly trying to keep Sunny safe, it’s just that he was created with a deeply troubled mindset. Also “Before the salt burns your eyes” could totally be seen as foreshadowing to Sunny loosing his right eye lol. But obviously it can be more easily read as the salty waters of Deep Well properly submerging him in the truth.

 —

The last two stanzas of the song are repeats of the “Oh, captain, let's make a deal” and the “Oh, captain, make up your mind” stanzas so I see them collectively as the fight between Omori and Sunny at the end of the True Route. Sunny having made up his mind about wanting to uncover the truth, properly forgiving himself in the process no matter the outcome once the truth is revealed to his friends. Meanwhile, Omori can not yet accept the fact that the “captain” has once again sunk another ship. However, this time, it was for the greater good. In the end, Omori fades away as Sunny stands strong in the face of the unknown.

------------------------------------

OK, WOO, that was a lot. Sorry if I didn’t go as in depth as expected, this was just made on a whim and the lyrics of the song really aren’t that deep lol. If you have any thoughts or a different take on this, please let me know! I’d love to hear them!

[fizziepopangel]

Theories with Fizzie: Let's talk about Blitzo's scars & his falling out with Fizz

So, we all know that, while some white marking on imps are naturally occurring (like Moxxie's freckles), imps tend to scar white. Given that imps scar white, its not a stretch to believe that most of the markings on Blitz's body are scars since he didn't have them in the flashbacks or in the photo of him and Fizzarolli in what seems to be their teenage years. While most of us can agree that Blitz's scars most likely played a large part in his falling out with Fizz and his career charge, I'm left to wonder if Blitz was at fault for it all. I mean, it would make sense seeing as he's clumsy and a bit ditzy at times, and he does seem almost guilty and ashamed seeing the picture of him and Fizz as teens; as friends... but, despite his line of work, Blitz isn't generally a man of malice when it comes to those he cares about and we see him genuinely trying to protect those he loves on a couple of different occasions, so it doesn't make sense to me that he would've purposely done something he knew could potentially cause harm to anyone he cared about.

Many people have theorized that the incident in question was a fire after seeing the LooLoo land episode where Blitz not only burnt the amusement park to the ground, but also after seeing Robo Fizz's damage mimicking the scarring around Blitz's eye, and I think that makes sense. After thinking about it more though, and going off the idea that the incident was a fire, I've found myself wondering if maybe Blitz was blamed for it without being the sole cause of it, or maybe even without being the cause at all. A theory I have is that, while yes, the accident occurred and yes both Fizz and Blitz were involved and injured, Blitz was injured as a result of trying to get Fizzarolli out of the fire. If he did end up accidentally setting a tent on fire, I think he would've tried to fix and when it started to spread beyond what he could manage, I think he would've done his best to try to make sure anyone inside got out... Considering how close Fizz and Blitz seemed to be, even if there was some tension between them after Fizz began to overshadow him, I believe for Fizz he would've gone as far as trying to get the man out himself; resulting in them both getting hurt.

Seeing as Fizzarolli would've been a more profitable performer, losing him for the time it took him to recover from the seriousness of an accident that left him needing robotic limbs would've been seen as a huge loss for the circus and I think they blamed Blitz for that. I don't think anyone would've seen it as anything but something that happened with the intention of causing harm and if it happened during a show or a practice focused primarily on Fizzarolli, it would've seemed like something done out of jealousy by a man who had lived in Fizz's shadow since they were kids... And after being blamed for so long, I think Blitz would've ended up believing that he was at fault and thinking that if he was at fault for hurting someone he cared about, it was safest for them if he distanced himself, in turn giving Fizzarolli the idea that Blitz didn't care about what had happened/what he had done and solidifying the idea that everyone had about it all being done with the intention of it ending badly.

In all honesty, if my theory is anywhere within the realm of right; if it was an accident that resulted in the serious injuries to someone Blitz cared about, I think their friendship could have been repaired after the accident had Blitz not pulled away. I think this may have been the nail in that coffin, and one of the first times Blitz began pushing away those who he loved or who loved him.

But again, its all just a theory. I can't wait to see if we get a real answer as to how Blitz got his markings or how his and Fizzarolli's friendship fell apart in episodes to come!

[moony-to-ur-pads]

THE STAG

young jily pining—>fluff. first jily in a long time so enjoy lmao

@jilychallenge fic with the location: forbidden forest, prompt: “You got me stuck on the thought of you,” (Sunroof)

September, 1977 (Now)

A dry crack of split pine needles under-hoof was all she needed to know that it was here.

“You’re back,” Lily said, not bothering to turn around.

The crisp snap of needles grew heavier as it approached—a crescendo of pops and starts, like one of those little firecrackers she used to set off on Bonfire Night. Still, the bursts came in restrained, careful bursts, the hoof-falls of the creature being as well-practiced and delicately-placed as ever.

“I’ve no idea why you come back, you daft thing,” Lily said, as it drew to a stop—a massive, hulking presence at her side. “I’ve no food, I’ve told you that a million hundred times.”

It gave a soft, cheery snort and settled down onto the forest floor with a heavy thunk. Lily absently held out a hand and ran it down the reddish hide. She shifted her body to accomodate for the truly splendid display of antlers and shuffled into the stag’s side. It was certainly a lot more comfortable than the tangle of roots she’d been perching on for the past few minutes.

The stag slowly turned its head to her and Lily leaned back to avoid the array of potentially eye-piercing tines that swivelled around with it. It turned until one large, brown eye found hers, and held her gaze in a soft, inquisitive silence.

Lily knew what that meant: Well, out with it then, Evans.

A little white ago, she would think it completely bonkers to hold any kind of conversation with a random woodland beast. But now…

She couldn’t say that venting to this creature wasn’t comforting, at the very least. If nothing else, she knew this stag would never go around jabbering about her problems or stab her in the back. In fact, she doubted it understood her at all—although a less sane part of her insisted adamantly that its reactions were all too human for it to be entirely stupid.

But maybe that was wishful thinking. In truth, it was just nice to have somebody to talk to.

Lily sighed, and cleared her throat. “I’ve a predicament,” she told the stag. “It’s pretty terrible.”

It raised its head a little in reply, attention engaged.

“Honestly, it’s… a lot,” she continued, “And I think the best way out of the whole thing is if you stabbed me through with one of ‘em bloody antler-thingies, really—but judge for yourself, here, I’ll give you all the facts.”

…

February, 1975

Lily dropped the crumpled scrap of parchment to the earth and grinded it into the mushy leaf litter beneath her feet with a precisely twisted sneaker. She rubbed an elbow over her face and sniffled angrily, hating how the cold only made her nose run all the worse.

She was not upset. She was furious.

Helpless, and furious, and that only made her want to tear the bloody world to pieces all the more.

Lily dropped down onto the log behind her, taking a heavy seat on a pile of moss that immediately began to bleed into the back of her skirt. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself.

But that was when she heard footsteps.

It was unnerving, at the best of times, to hear a sudden noise in the silence of the Forbidden Forest. It was worse in the colder months, though. When the birds had gone dead quiet for the season—fled the snow for warmer parts—and the only sounds were the rough whisper of rustling firs in the wind.

In that dead cold quiet, the footsteps over autumn’s leaf litter were disarming, jarring. Yards away, and still they were as loud as if they’d sounded right behind her.

Lily had never been one to cry for the world to see. She was private corners and toilet loos, hair pushed over eyes to hide their rosy-red whites, sniffles and tears stifled on her sleeves until they stuck straight to her skin.

To think that someone had found her here, in this sacred place, this quiet place, this place where she could unmask her heart and let herself be free… it was terrifying. Infuriating.

Lily slipped her wand from her pocket and got to her feet in a swift motion—well-practiced, since a muggle-born had to be on her guard anyhow—and raised it as she turns towards the thing, person, whoever it may be.

It did not cross her mind that it might have been a some kind of dark magical creature—an acromantula, an angry centaur, a vampire—and indeed, she would have preferred that outcome, really. At least you could hex an animal, or scare it away. With a human being on the other hand, you had to be more careful, lest you were indicted for assault or murder.

Lily threw her hair back and scanned the woods behind her, where she’d heard the noise. They were lonely and dark, falling quickly into shadow beyond the confines of the little meadow—or more the parting in the trees—that she stood in. Lily squinted and searched the darkness, trying to make shape and figure come together from the shadow. Nothing.

Except, then—a sudden shift in the blackness. The movement of some tremendous body, with huge arms stretched above its head, and hoofed feet like a centaur's. Autumn leaves crinkled beneath its feet—softer than the sounds she'd heard before, but menacing as it timed its slow approach—and the shadows shifted across its skin as it pushed the darkness aside with those huge, branch-y arms.

It strode, powerful and delicate, into the light, and bit by bit the creature turned from black, to grey, to a deep muddy brown.

And Lily lost her breath, wand falling to her side.

The 'arms' she'd seen held straight above its head were really antlers, and they were magnificent—each three feet tall and ending in a regal burst of tines. It’s head was bowed, and dark brown eyes met hers with a powerful, commanding gaze. It stepped around fallen branches in its way with with meditated care—it looks very human, Lily thought, like a klutz trying very hard not to trip—and emerged with golden grandeur into the sunlight.

“Oh my god,” Lily whispered.

It stopped a mere yard in front of her and stretched an inquisitive muzzle in her direction. Her wand-less hand raised automatically to meet it, and Lily gingerly laid a hand on its snout.

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god.”

It let her run her hand down it’s muzzle, even pushing against her hand insistently like a cat when she tried to pull away.

“You like this, huh?” Lily murmured. She cleared her throat—there were tears blocking her words up like tar, resting heavy in the back of her mouth—and said, “You’re a bloody gorgeous thing, aren’t you?”

The stag gave a snort and Lily pulled away, thinking she’d spooked it, but it only raised its head, and looked rather proud of itself.

“Yeah, you’re magnificent,” Lily told it, and the stag stomped it’s hooves happily. “You’re gorgeous.”

It stepped around her and into the clearing, making way for the old log where Lily’d been sitting a moment earlier. Lily followed at a distance, still a little wary. To her surprise, it plonked down clumsily onto the earth next to the mossy log, and turned an antlered head slowly in her direction, eyes fixed as if to beckon her.

Lily walked over slowly, and regained her perch on the damp moss of the log. The stag gave a satisfied snort. It turned to the wet mush of leaves, snuffling at the patch of ground where the scrap of parchment twisted—shredded, cream against the muddy greyish brown—around the leaf litter.

Lily bit her lip, and watched it nudge curiously at the mess. “The idiots purists write things to the muggle-borns,” she mumbled. “It’s stupid, really. I shouldn’t let it get to me.”

The stag turned one huge head—slowly—to her, and fixed her with a gaze that was as soft as it was inquisitive.

“I guess it hits harder because I know it’s Sev’s idiot friends who send them. And he still hangs out with the lot, would you believe it? I mean.” She cleared ur throat again. “He’s meant to be my friend.”

The stag gives an affronted snort—almost a scoff—as if to say that no, it could not believe it. It could not believe that Severus would do such a thing to her. And no, neither could Lily.

“Yeah. He’s such a jerk.” She kicked out with her sneaker, and disintegrated the offending mush of parchment a little more. “He is so stupid. At least, I hope he is. Either he’s an idiot, or he really does agree with that lot. And I think I’d rather it the first, y’know?”

The stag gave a soft snort of agreement, and Lily smiled to herself, reaching out to lay a careful hand on the reddish mound of its back. It couldn’t understand her, she was sure of that. But the sentiment was sweet. In that moment, Lily didn’t think she had many better friends than this fine old stag.

…

Now

Lily lay her head on the stag’s side and gave a heavy sigh, her eyes fixed on the canopy of interwoven evergreen branches blocking out the light above them.

“It’s certainly a conundrum,” she told the stag. “See—I’m Head Girl this year, did you know?”

The stag gave a little grunt.

“I know, it’s amazing. The thing is—guess who they made Head Boy?”

The stag was silent.

“James Potter, would you believe it?”

More silence. Lily rolled over so she could see the back of its head and it’s antlers.

“And I know we’re friends now and all—I don’t hate him or anything, that’s not the problem. No… he’s actually quite pleasant.”

The stag gave a huff.

“Wait, no—the pleasantness, that might be the problem.” The stag turned to look at her, fixing her with a piecing gaze.

Lily tried not to blush over the next part. She bit her lip. “So… over summer, we owled a little… And Remus and I talked about Potters too. Oh, and… he’s so nice. He’s… he’s changed, so fucking much!”

She gave a frustrated groan and rolled back over to face the canopy.

“And I… I find myself thinking about him, a lot. Like, a lot a lot. It’s scary. Sometimes I don’t even realise I’m thinking about him… it’s like my mind just drifts there, and I’m sitting in class, and suddenly I haven’t heard a thing the Professor’s said for the past quarter hour because my minds been skipping on James Potter like a bloody broken record.”

She felt the stag’s chest move up and down beneath her, like the soft lulling of an ocean.

Lily took a deep breath, and squeezed her eyes shut to manage the last part. “Well fuck me dead, stag, because I think I like him!”

And then—possibly the strangest thing that had ever happened to Lily in the presence of the stag—it gave a startled bark and suddenly staggered to its feet, dumping her clean off its hide and to the forest floor.

Lily scrambled back and looked up at it, as it stomped its feet and turned around in a rather strange little routine she didn’t understand.

She’d leaned on it many, many times before. And she hadn’t poked it, or anything. Maybe it’d been spooked by a rat in the undergrowth?

“Woah, boy,” she said, clambering quickly to her feet. She knew that was what you were meant to say with horses. She hoped it worked with stags. “Woah! Calm down!”

The stag stomped in a circle and turned to her, lowering its head and nudging her lightly with its muzzle. Then, looking quite as if it’d fallen into some kind of craze, it turned and went deer-hopping off into the trees.

“Bye,” Lily said, unsurely, watching it disappear.

…

Now

Remus pressed his hand to his face. “And you just ran?”

James crossed his arms defensively. “I—yeah! I couldn’t stop myself! You know I can’t think straight when I’m a stag. They’re really quite dumb animals.”

“Well of course, the animagus form does mirror the wizard,” Sirius said with a smirk, splayed out across Remus’ bed like a starfish. “Isn’t that right, Moony?”

Remus rolled his eyes.

“Are you calling me stupid?” James said, indignant.

“If you have to ask—”

Remus held one hand up in a fist. “Morons!” They both fell quiet and turned to him. “Listen. This is serious business.”

Sirius opened his mouth with another smirk on his lips, but Remus sent him a death-glare powerful enough to shut him right up.

“Lily likes James. Do you know how long that idiot has pined for this?”

James frowned. “That was fifth-year James. New James doesn’t—”

“Don’t bother lying, darling,” Sirius drawled. “We all hear you talking in your sleep, you know.”

“It’s admirable that you’ve restrained your advances this year, but it’s also understandable that you can’t move on. I, better than anyone, know you unfortunately can’t control love.” Remus gave a resigned and dramatic sigh, but James could see that he was holding back a smile.

“What was that?” Sirius gasped, sitting up on his boyfriend’s bed with a huge pout plastered on his lips.

“Nothing, Pads,” Remus said, turning back to James. “How’re you going to approach this?”

James crossed his arms and rocked from shoe to shoe. “I… don’t know. Do I tell her I’m a stag?”

Remus laughed. “No way!”

“But you know I never meant to intrude like that! At least, not the first time! I walked in on her crying, and she liked it.”

“So you came back, and invaded again and again and again.”

“I don’t tell anyone what she tells me! Except this—but this is a special case. I just sit there, make sure she feels better, and leave. I’m sure she won’t mind it.”

“Lily Evans has her pride. She wouldn’t be able to bear it if any one of us had seen her cry. I’ve been friends with her ages, James, trust me. In third-year I found her crying over a guy and she threatened to obliviate me.”

“I concur,” Sirius said, solemnly raising his hand. “Unless you have a death wish, James-y…”

“Yes,” Remus picked up, “Unless you sincerely want to die, don’t you ever tell her that. It’ll be grounds for an instant divorce.”

James’ mouth fell open. “You think we’ll get married?!”

Sirius leapt to his feet. “I bags best man!”

Remus frowned. “Pads, I want to be—No, never mind! No body’s getting married, alright!”

James gasped. Ever?

“Yet,” Remus amended, and James smiled. “What we need,” Remus continued, heading over to sit on the bed Sirius had recently-vacated, “Is a plan. And possibly an exhaustive script, so you don’t fuck it up.”

Sirius eagerly joined Remus, lying belly-up at the foot of the bed like a dog. James sat down on the covers next to his friends.

“Well, what do you got then, Moons?”

…

Now

Lily enjoyed the quiet of the forest. Even when the stag wasn’t here to spill her secrets to. Sometimes she brought a book, and read it on the border of the woods. Sometimes, she brought nothing at all—just listened to the birdsong, and the whispers, and the quiet.

Today, she sat on the edge of the tree-line—two hundred yards or so down from Hagrid’s cabin—and watched the sunset. It was darkening fast, the sky steeling over with the soft ash cover of creeping twilight. The castle glowed, pockmarked with windows like glowing golden beacons, flooded with light that grew steadily brighter in the gathering darkness.

“Hello?”

A voice.

Lily pulled her wand out quickly and got to her feet, searching the forest behind her for the source of the voice.

“Lily!” it called.

The grip on her wand tightened. You didn’t trust just anybody, just because they knew your name.

She caught sight of something tramping through the darkness towards her, and raised her wand.

“Name yourself,” she said—calm, firm, practiced.

“James Fleamont Potter,” the voice said, and the figure emerged through the gap in the trees.

He smiled at her, ran a hand through his hair in that habitual way of his that had once infuriated her, and now was just a part of him. “The fact that I know my middle name at all should be enough to confirm my identity—it’s very classified information—but feel free to ask me a question if you need.”

Lily kept her wand raised, undeterred by his friendliness. She’d cooked up Polyjuice Potion in her fourth year—it wasn’t hard. “How’d ‘furry little problem’ come to be?” she asked him, after a moment’s deliberation.

“Sirius and I stole a rabbit from Hagrid for a prank,” James recited, in an almost-bored voice. “We called it our furry little problem, but you always thought we were referring to Moony’s thing. Then you referred to his lycanthropy as his ‘furry little problem’ when we were talking about it, we all got really confused, and then we worked out what you meant and the nickname was so good it stuck.”

Lily let out a breath and lowered her wand. “You passed.”

James grinned. “Merlin, all of you have to start thinking of better questions. I’ve been asked that one by Sirius and Peter and Remus.”

Lily sighed. “It’s hard to think of them so fast.”

“I know. I resort to ‘how’d we meet’ every time.”

“Oh, then it’s not like you can complain about mine. That’s horrid!”

James rolled his eyes.

“So what’re you doing out here, Potter?” she asked. “You’re not stalking me?”

“No,” James said, looking guilty enough that Lily was doubly suspicious.

“James,” she stressed, warningly, “You better not be trying to prank me.”

He shook his head. “No! Nothing like that! Evans—I’m Head Boy! You know those days are behind me!”

“So you didn’t switch out Rosier’s spider eyes with chopped up salamander shit on Thursday and watch his potion blow up?”

James snorted. “No, of course not! But it was funny, wasn’t it?”

Lily raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “If you try to prank me I will hex your pants off.”

James blinked. Lily turned red.

“Arse off,” she said. “I’ll hex your bloody arse off.”

James blinked again. He took a step towards her, and suddenly she noticed that he was looking at her very, very strangely.

She didn’t like it. But she didn’t hate it.

It made her skin crawl. But it made her heart flutter.

“James…” she mumbled.

He looked as if he was about to throw up.

“Lilydoyouwanttomaybegetabeerwithme?” James gasped out.

Lily froze. “What?”

“A beer. Us?”

It was Lily’s turn to blink. “Us… how?”

“How? I—at Hogsmede, of—”

“No,” Lily interrupted. Her heart was thudding something crazy—she could hear it in her ears. She had to fight to keep from turning the colour of a ripe tomato. “I mean, how as in—in what way. Friends, or…?”

James’ eyes widened. “I—I don’t know,” he squeaked. “I don’t care! I—friends sure! Or—” James didn’t blush bright like her—it didn’t show so well on his brown skin—but she could see the slightest touch of redness now. He gulped.

Somehow, his nervousness emboldened her.

Lily giggled breathlessly. “Oi, don’t back out now, loser. You’re so close.”

James blinked. Took a deep breath. “Fuck me, Lily. This is torturing me.”

“Ask nicely, Potter. And properly,” she said, through horridly burning cheeks—she’d given up on holding the blush back.

“Lily darling Evans. My friend. My co-Head. Would you pretty please go to the Hog’s Head with me?”

She beamed, feeling dizzy and hot and so so free. “I will, James Potter. I will.”