#but it is funnier if it’s a JLA member

[morganbritton132]

I love in fics when the Gotham vigilantes call Oracle “O” because if you’d never heard of Oracle, wouldn’t you think that her name would be bird related like all the other Gotham heroes?

I want a fic where a superhero is introduced to Barbara for the first time and they’re like, “Awe, yes. This must be the Ostrich.”

[puppybong]

they are doing some looney toons shit to me

[shit-talker]

The only way I can rationalise people accepting literal children going out and fighting crime as Robin is if they don't think Robin is a real child.

I think it would be fun to see how Bruce would use that to his advantage in protecting his kids. Like, if people think Robin isn't human, if they instead think he's a spirit or a ghost, they are less likely to shoot at him, less likely to try and physically attack Robin because they think it would be no use.

The fun part would be deciding HOW they would do this. I like to think that Robin's domino mask doesn't have a hole for his eyes but instead is glazed over so that he can see out of it, but you can't see in. Maybe they install small lights in it so it looks like his eyes glow in the dark, because can you image how fucking scary it would be to just see these two sentient light-like eyes and just know the Batman must be lurking somewhere close by?

Maybe Bruce installs super strong magnets in their gloves because on the chance that someone does pull a gun on his kid close range, it would be a lot easier for them to grab the gun away if they had the force of magnetism on their side. Also, grabbing onto poles and other metal materials would make all the scaling on tall buildings a little safer. Obviously, they'd need a way to turn it on and off, but still. Can you imagine, you're in a warehouse and there are steel frames fucking everywhere and you look up and suddenly there's a child gripping onto one effortlessly? Horrifying.

Maybe they have a voice box. Want to scare people? Play this really ominous recording of a child's laughter that echoes just a bit too loud to be normal. Play this ominous screaming that seems too silent to be real. Play this ticking that seems to never end that induces stress and increases the chance of them messing up.

What would be even funnier is keeping this act up with the Justice League and other teams.

Batman doesn't bring Robin to these meetings at the beginning because he sees no need to involve a preteen in such matters, but at some point the subject does come up and it's sort of like; So, Bats, what exactly is the kid? Like...is he yours?

And Bruce (paranoid as fuck) doesn't want to admit to these people that yes, Robin is my son because hello? That's gotta be his biggest weakness, he would do anything to keep that kid safe and fuck them if they ever tried to hurt him to get to Bruce.

So, he tells them that he's a spirit sent to haunt him and remind the city of it'd failures and the Justice League just... believe him?? Because this is Batman, and why would Batman ever lie about something so, frankly, strange? And it's not a huge deal, like they're a team comprised of metas and aliens and literal godesses, so what if the one normal human guy has a weird little ghost child? Who cares if he cares about it like it's a real boy? Maybe the baby spirit has rights, too!! They don't know!

So, when the JLA gets more popular and becomes an actual, legal part of the American government, they're required to list all of their members. And they class Batman as a human, because that's obvious but next to Robin, they don't really know what to say or how to ask Batman about it, ao they just put "Unknown Child Spirit - TBD"

And then just... never change it?

So, they don't question why a few years later Robin seems to look entirely different, or why after that he changes again, or why Robin is suddenly a girl for a while before going back to a little boy. That's obviously just some weird spirit thing they don't understand, and it's not like Batman is going to explain it!

[flashfuture]

“Ollie again also always felt second best to Barry in their connection to Hal which grated on his nerves. Because Hal was Ollie’s best friend but Barry was Hal’s sort of deal,” just proves that the ideal “original” justice league adaption would have the same drama of a freaking high school drama.

JLA: Year One is the horniest bunch of losers in the world and they all thirst for Barry lol. 

Okay but but here me out. AU where the JLA all start as teenagers too framed after the older JSA. So JSA mentors or not mentors but watches over the whole of the JLA. Then the JLA keeping an eye on the Teen Titans and the Young Justice kids is even funnier. Cause the JSA members are recalling the shit they used to get up to and maybe you should stop being so judgemental Bruce we all remember the tear gas Batarang disaster.

Ollie and Barry having a tug of war over Hal is really honestly kind of into it lol. 

Teenage heroes oh the drama teenage JLA could get up to