#but it just reminds me of early seasons buddie and it has me emotional so I'm playing around with this one for now🥹

[buckera]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday 📸

Heyooo. I decided to revive this wip while the season is still running and I have been tinkering with it in the last couple of days, so I thought I'd give you a small tidbit. 💛

You can find the previous snippet: here.

“Alright, 118, listen up.” Bobby clapped his hands together as he made his way up the last couple of steps leading to the loft. Eddie and Chim looked up from their mid-morning cereal curiously. After all, if there was an announcement to be made, it could’ve only been about the empty slot on their roster that has been there ever since McNeil finally went into retirement last month. “Someone from B shift is joining us next week.”

“Yeah? What do we know about them?” Chim asked, with his mouth full of colorful wheat hoops.

“Broke the record for the doll factory on his recertification.” Bobby said with a smile as smug as if he was bragging for himself.

“Recertification?” Hen walked up to their table with two mugs of coffee, seamlessly passing one to Chim.

“He got injured on the job a few months ago.” Bobby explained without going into any details. Eddie wasn’t sure if it was because he didn’t know them or if he didn’t want to share them.

“So, why is he switching shifts?”

“Apparently, his family just moved into town and it works better for them.” Bobby shrugged, clearly unimpressed by how quickly everyone has moved on from the apparent boy wonder's record setting abilities.

“What? Does he have like, kids or something?” Chim frowned into the soft steam of his coffee.

“No, it’s hi—”

Whatever Bobby was about to say has been shrilly interrupted by the ring of the bell. Tabling the conversation for later, they all jumped up, leaving their plates and mugs behind, and made their way downstairs to gear up.

✨I have been tagged by and am tagging the ever so lovely @sunshinediaz @spagheddiediaz @goforkinard @exhuastedpigeon @nmcggg @disasterbuckdiaz @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @honestlydarkprincess @watchyourbuck @actualalligator mwuahhh 💛

[sibylsleaves]

About the Buck Tommy break up: If they do break them up, when do you think that would happen? How long would they date for? I feel like they might keep them together for all of the next season.

Yeah I kinda think I agree? and like i'll remind you i'm like. 50/50 on buddie canon ON A GOOD DAY (i'm 100000% FOR IT, i'm 50/50 on them actually doing it) so. even assuming buddie canon is definitely where they want to take the story i could definitely see Tommy sticking around through s8.

(another cut because idk how to shut the fuck up)

For one, he's a recurring character so he's not going to be in every episode anyway. which means even if he's there for all of s8 they probably only have like 8-12 episodes to actually develop that relationship arc. For two, they seem to have forgotten how to develop Buck as a character without putting him in a relationship (see the mess that was his arc in s6...the girlies were spinning their wheels so hard and throwing everything against the wall to see what would stick) so they have every reason to want to keep him in said relationship for most of the season purely for story fodder.

I'm hopeful they'll find a way to continue developing Buck's sexuality arc without it being all about his relationship, but honestly i'm not banking on it. (my kingdom for a queer first responders group...a great way to also introduce some new tertiary characters plz & thanks!! more Hen/Buck also plz & thanks!!) i think the buck/fatherhood storyline (his desire for it, his realization that he almost but not quite has it already?) is ALSO something that could be built out in s8 and i would loooooooooove to see it (and could, as already mentioned, lead us to the eventual Buck-Tommy breakup).

anyway you didn't ask me about Buck storylines LMAO so back to your point. They have let's say 10-ish episodes over the course of s8 to really develop the Buck-Tommy relationship so I think them breaking up at the end of the season makes sense. and given that unlike in other seasons they're starting with a LOT of ground to cover in terms of other storylines (Captain Gerrard, Bobby returning, EDDIE & CHRIS, Councilwoman Ortiz, Hen + Karen + Chim + Maddie as coparents, etc etc etc) I wouldn't be surprised if Buck and Tommy continue to take kind of a backseat in the first half of the season. Like I think we'll see Tommy around and we'll get a few one-off storylines about him/their relationship but that's it.

And let's say things go exactly the way I want them to and we do get an Eddie feelings realization while Buck and Tommy are still together. I think we need at LEAST half a season to get Eddie there, probably even more, just because he's got SO MUCH to go through next season (i am hopeful the Gerrard arc only takes up 1-3 episodes MAX--unless they do another big disaster season opener--and then we get a Christopher reunion by mid-mid season, ep 6-7. They do often like to do big emotional set piece episodes smack dab in the middle of each half, like Tomorrow in 6a and There Goes the Groom in 7b).

THEN we also need time for Eddie to pine. For a good half season, at the very least. So yeah that easily puts us at the end of s8, just in time for Buck to have his own feelings realization, perhaps in the aftermath of some dramatic season-ending storyline, and then break up with Tommy at the very end of s8. Leading to mutual pining at the beginning of s9. Or they could drag it out even further, especially if they get an early renewal again. I wouldn't be opposed to that.

Obviously this is like. Sibyl's Dream Scenario. aka what would happen if ABC hired me as the showrunner. What they actually will do in the show I have no idea. And a lot of it also depends on LFJ's availability (like we all know that's exactly what ended up happening with Natalia and why she got unceremoniously dumped offscreen). I know he's on another show as well, but I get the feeling he's going to make his 911 stuff a priority as much as he can because he's gotten a LOT of attention for this role and from what i can tell has seemed genuinely enthusiastic about it.

[angryteapott]

A reflection on why the introductory episodes of Alchemy of Souls part 2 are putting me off so much, featuring mild spoilers:

(TLDR if you like AoS’s softer female lead as of part two ep two, I really think you’ll like the show Lighter & Princess even though it’s contemporary. Check it out!!)

To be honest, I think the reason I’m grumpy about the current direction is the exact reason other people are liking it. While both seasons lean into the salt and fat style of making entertainment (always tastes better with More), part one uses breakneck pacing and shenanigans as it’s flavoring (which I prefer) where part 2 is using wildly popular romance tropes.

IMO, part one’s buddy comedy feel suits AoS’s anachronistic hairstyles, fast and tone flopping dialogue (that part where naksu almost gives uk to the soul shifter and instead of going all angsty they have him go “hey!” never fails to crack me up) and balls to the wall world building. It’s a romance, but a romance of two people who are first and foremost partners in chaos and who treat their goals as seriously as they treat each other. While a lot of its elements are common fare for its wuxia roots (ie introducing a new technique, saying it’s impossible, and giving the MC a hack to do it anyways within 10 minutes), AoS part 1 makes itself feel fresh by not lingering on its own self importance but instead on how batshit, amoral and funny its main characters are for using duct tape power ups as they scrabble towards the finish line, all while delivering surprisingly solid character arcs that emotionally anchor the decisions about arbitrary magical problems. It reminds me of the first few episodes of sword snow stride if sword snow stride thought women were people. In other words, it’s an absolute banger.

And now part two has launched, the ostensibly darker finish. After the teasers I personally was hoping “darker” meant the same pedal to the metal feel while it treated itself less lightly. However thus far (although it’s early days), this season’s MSG seems to be “dark” id appeasing romance tropes . They’re leaning into the fairytale elements more, which could be fun, but with this comes a closed off ML/ wide eyed FL romance and resultant overwrought angst (FL in her rapunzel era! she cries defeated until he whisks away the boat!! Marriage of convenience!!! Uwu she’s too insecure to even try with the lantern :(!! “She’s my wife” FL starstruck moment 🤩!!!). Which I’m not against as a concept, by the way!! I mean I just devoured lighter and princess and that’s a whole cheesefest. But thus far naksu’s uncut sweetness makes the simultaneous attempts at chaotic hilarity not land for me, and it doesn’t really jive with the previous emotional knots driving character actions approach as much as it does an angsty arbitrary romantic drama. Case in point is the writing giving the actress very Naksu ACTIONS (entrap a strong husband at all costs!!!) while direction is likely what’s making her give the most calf eyed, spaced out performance as she does it, which barely even makes sense. She doesn’t look frustrated at all with her “mom” for trapping her, even though she plans on escaping (and wrecking the jin reputation and harming her “mom”) in the next scene? She’s desperate enough to say something as vicious as jang uk’s so alone that he should marry anyone willing, but with a soft, spineless tone? Sheltered rich girls can have a spine, just see Lighter & Princess! For me, the screenshot parallels people are posting are the real knife in the gut- why are season one’s expressions so good while season two’s are just slightly confused? The hair is still wacky, the world building’s still like swiss cheese, and everyone else is still trying to banter… and I’m supposed to be swept into this played straight disney princess routine? While people seem to be loving the love affair, I keep waiting for why I watched in the first place.

That said, Uk and the crown prince still have mad beef in a way that feels both emotionally honest and funny (CP’s reaction to the wraiths was exactly what that plot point needed to deflate its self importance), and evil guy fieri remains delightfully schemey. So maybe they’ll bring the magic back!! For now, everyone else seems to be eating up the tropes, so maybe I’ll just stay grumpy alone.

[alolanroy]

2023 Media Thread Pt4

Lethal Company: There's not a lot of criticism I can throw at this game that doesn't bounce off as part of the intended experience. I do think that while the quick and cheap deaths make for good comedic value, I think it downplays the terror if you just die without having any clue what happened in the early game. But other than that, it nails the vision even if it isn't for me. Mad respect 7/10

Gundam Evolution Last Shooting: I already missed this game a few weeks after it shuttered. By the final season, the balance was just right and in the final days the group I was playing with started to 'click' with some of the units. I for one, was a monster at the Kampher, racking up insane kill streaks. It's a shame it couldn't have been in this state at launch. Another game killed by its live service model. The final hurrah of lost potential. 7/10

Lego Fortnite: Have you played and early-access survival crafting game before? Good, you can skip this. It sure is one of these. It has a lot of rough edges since it's running inside the framework of another game that doesn't mesh particularly well with it. Plus, fiddling with graphics settings requires relaunch so I couldn't tweak it to look good either. I think what kind of ruins the experience was the rigidity of the progression, which while heavily gated behind too many menus, isn't signposted well. 4/10

Half-Life Deathmatch (25th-anniversary update): What an event! I wouldn't necessarily say I had 'fun', perhaps because the social element has been atrophied by decades of modern multiplayer practices, but I had a blast. We found a server filled with quake weapons with no time limit so it was a high-killstreak, low TTK chaotic mess for like 20 minutes one round. 6/10

Plagiarism and You(Tube): Hbomb's career-ending adventures continue. 7/10

Half-Life Uplink: A neat little bite of HL2. Not a lot of meat on these bones, but it really is impressive how hard they pushed 'realism' in the environmental interaction withing the confines of the engine. 7/10

Into the Radius: Interesting worldbuilding and an ace solitary vibe. It took a bit for the cumbersome resource management to 'click' but the vibes are there. However, I do feel like quicker access to more diverse weapons might have helped hook me more. My strongest experience was doing one of the first missions at night and it went full horror in a way I hadn't experienced yet.

Lego Masters S4: On the positive side, the hosts are finally coming into their own and the challenges felt much more fresh in a way that actually engaged with their medium. However both me and my partner felt the hand of the producers in ways that made us actually angry. Certain teams were straight-up bad. Duckbricks deserved it 100 tho. 7/10

Skyrim - Clockwork: An interesting framing device for an interesting player home. I think it repeated the pitfall of making the open areas too big to be fun to comb over, but the story beats were effective. 6.5/10

Tintin: This is about as good an 3dcg animated Tintin could be. it didn't tickle my fancy but it was gorgeous and had some real inventive sequences. Since they don't really make adventure movies like this anymore, I think it called to mind the treasure-hunting antics of a Lupin movie. objective 8/10 but for me a 7/10

The Boy and the Heron: I don't blame anyone for having trouble following the narrative, since this type of semi-linear magical realism nonsense is a genre I have familiarity with. I remind them that these things work on an emotional axis that Marvel has taught people to ignore. Shoutout to all the Ghibli fans shocked to see their Ghibli movie isn't like those interpolated cooking compilations and cozy Totoro slippers. 9/10

Dragnet (1987): This sure is a late 80's buddy cop action comedy. I wonder if these fellas end up having a future in show buisness or high-quality vodka beverages? It got one good laugh out of me. 5/10

Babylon 5: The Road Home: Honestly, props to MJS and all the returning actors because for a decades-removed continuation, this feels like it didn't miss a beat. I imagine the casting director was sweating bullets trying to recast G'kar though. How can you? 8/10

Pokemon Concierge: Short, sweet, and to the point. I was agape at the technical proficiency of the stop motion, enough that I didn't notice the plot at all. 6/10

Ronin Mecha 2: Defenders of Space: This was made by the 3rd die-hard Autobot Inferno fan for the other two. It lacks that gonzo factor of the rest of the series so far and was pretty skippable. We did pop off when 'Pheonix King' actually turned into a fire truck though. -3/10

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2: At times like these, I regret watching bad movies selected by a spinning wheel. How did this get made? This feels like a tv pilot that got a theatrical release. Theres a Nazi getting beat up by babies???? -5/10

Revenge of the Ninja: Solid ninja movie. A bit meandering but it had the right amount of gadgetry and stunts to keep the crowd's energy up. Shoutout ninja grandma. 6/10

Votoms: the Pailsen Files: At its best, it is alright. At its worst, it is kind of embarrassing. The initial foray into poorly integrated cg mechs is badly integrated that it makes the digital animation look right out of the early digipaint era at times. The OP and ED are sauceless. 5/10

[somebodycall911onabc]

Spoon me, you idiot

Post ep4x13 Buddie because my brain is just that episode on loop. Hands up if you're not ready for the season 4 finale, folks. Have some cuddling and love confessions in the meantime.

Buck helps Eddie over the threshold with one hand at Eddie’s elbow and the other pressed against his hip. Eddie’s fine, he’s fine, he’s alive, but he’s exhausted. Pain and shock weigh down his shoulders, make him unsteady on his feet.

Carla breathes in sharply at the sight of him. Then she’s stepping forward, folding Eddie into a soft embrace, pulling his head down cheek to cheek with hers. Buck drags his eyes away from his living, breathing, living friend to find Chris, who’s lying on the couch with his glasses askew, mouth open in sleep. Buck’s heart clenches like a fist. He’s going to remember Chris’s haunted, horrified expression for the rest of his life, the light dying in Chris’s eyes as Buck had to tell him… had to tell him that his dad wasn’t coming home that night.

Buck walks over to Chris and kneels down beside him. He’s pretty sure it’s the first time Chris has slept since he heard about it. The first time in more than 48 hours that the kid’s closed his eyes. Buck brushes the curls back from Chris’s forehead, trying to be gentle, not wanting to wake him.

Eddie gets down next to Buck, their knees pressing together. Buck feels the shudder that runs down Eddie’s spine, feels it echoed in his soul. Buck isn’t the religious type, but he feels like this is another miracle. Years after his first brush with death, Eddie coming home once again to his son.

With a hand on Chris’s shoulder, Eddie murmurs, “hey, my little Superman. Chris, I’m here.”

Chris’s eyes open slowly, reluctantly, until he sees his dad’s face and wakes up all at once.

“Dad!” Chris shouts, hands flying up to attach themselves to Eddie’s face. “Dad!”

Eddie’s smiling, huffing out laughter in pure, unadulterated joy at seeing his son’s delighted expression. Chris is grinning and whooping, falling forward to curl himself into his dad’s chest. Eddie lifts one arm to hold Chris close and buries his face in Chris’s hair.

Buck blinks back tears, feeling relief crash over him. He rubs his eyes and starts to get to his feet, wanting to give the Diaz boys some space, until he feels a tug on his shirt. Eddie’s hand twists in the fabric. He’s not even looking at Buck, head tucked against the curve of Chris’s skull. Buck sinks back down and tentatively puts his arms around the both of them, Chris’s knobbly spine and Eddie’s strong back, his cheek brushing Eddie’s forehead. Buck lets out a breath that trembles like an earthquake.

It feels like home. It feels impossible. It’s what he’s always wanted. It feels like something Buck isn’t allowed to have.

When they finally let go of each other, what could be a minute or a year later, Buck notices Carla standing at the end of the couch. She’s smiling fondly at all of them, and Buck realizes abruptly that this is the first time he’s seen her since the pandemic started. He gets up—although it’d be more fair to say he tears himself away—and moves toward her, and there’s always been something magic about Carla because she takes one look at him and she knows.

“I missed you,” Buck says, his nose smashed into her chin. She’s hugging him like she’s trying to pack Buck down tight and snug him into a little box where she can keep him safe. Or maybe that’s just Buck’s wishful thinking. He’s so goddamn tired.

“I missed you too, Buckaroo,” Carla says, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Buck swallows the lump in his throat her tenderness causes.

She pulls away and very gently pats his cheek, looking Buck in the eye. “He needs you, you hear?” She whispers, holding that eye contact like she’s bet money on a staring competition. “Take care of each other.”

Buck can only nod.

She lets go of him and Buck shakes himself into standing straight, even though he’d much rather crumple to the floor. But he needs to get Eddie and Chris to bed, he needs to figure out what’s still edible in the kitchen and take out the trash, he needs to call the pharmacy for Eddie’s meds and the station for Eddie’s med leave, he needs to—

“Alright boys, get some rest.” Buck blinks and Carla comes back into focus. She’s addressing all of them, voice firm. “I’ll be here bright and early tomorrow to help out.”

“Thank you, Carla,” Eddie says.

“No need for that.” She bends down to give Eddie a quick hug, and Buck hears her tell him, “just try not to get on the bad side of any more sniper-rifle-wielding nut jobs, alright?”

Eddie’s reply is somewhere between a laugh and a choked-back sob.

Buck walks Carla to the door. Before she leaves, she looks at him, sharp-eyed and commanding again. “You call me if you need anything. Anything. You look just as bad as he does.”

“I’ll be fine. Thanks, Carla.”

She narrows her eyes at him, but this is what Buck has always been best at. He wades through the hurt and the pain and just keeps going. He gives her a tight smile, reminds himself that he wasn’t the one shot (no, just the one sprayed with Eddie’s blood, he can still feel it on his skin, still taste it on his lips), and closes the door behind her.

Getting Chris and Eddie to bed is easy. Buck lifts Chris up, carries him to Eddie’s room, and pulls the covers over both the Diaz boys. Eddie tries to catch Buck’s eye while Buck leaves the room, but if Buck stops moving then he’s not sure when or if he’ll start again. Buck pulls the bedroom door most of the way closed, leaving a tiny crack in case Eddie or Chris need him in the night.

In the kitchen, the clock on the stove informs him that it’s just past 9 pm. It’s jarringly early. It feels like time doesn’t really exist, that he’s been moving in a place defined by the hours since Eddie dropped, the hours since Eddie went into surgery, the hours since Eddie woke up.

Buck opens the fridge and looks into it without seeing anything, like when you’re reading only to realize that three pages have gone by without you remembering a single word. He closes the fridge door and opens it again, and oh, there’s the carton of milk and bottle of ketchup on the top shelf, the egg carton down to its last egg, a container of left-over fried rice from… was it yesterday? Buck folds back the top flap and sniffs it, decides it will be fine for one of the boys to eat when they get up.

He closes the fridge and investigates the pantry next. Two boxes of spaghetti, a can of beans, three cans of chicken noodle soup, an unopened bag of quinoa that is probably the result of Ana because Buck’s not sure Eddie has ever heard of quinoa—like he’s taking inventory of the truck. Thermal blankets, C-spine collar kit, 3L of sterile water, 3L sodium chloride, hug-a-bear. The 118 has a blue elephant courtesy of Athena. Buck could honestly really use it right now.

Buck runs a hand through his hair and pulls out his phone, planning to make a grocery list. He sees two missed calls from Bobby and eight from Maddie. One from Chim. Hen texted him at 4pm: How you holding up?

Buck very slowly puts the phone down.

He takes a step back and grips the edge of the kitchen counter. Breathe, Buck, he thinks. Just breathe.

His vision is spotty when he opens his eyes, like he’d shut them too tight. He doesn’t remember shutting them. It doesn’t matter. Buck finds a scrap of paper in the recycling bin and a pen from the junk drawer and writes a list. It’s late, so he’ll go to the grocery store in the morning, early, make sure breakfast is on the table for when Eddie and Chris get up. Oh fuck, does he have a shift tomorrow? What day is it?

Buck puts down the pen and presses the heels of his palms to his eyes. He can’t do this. He can’t stand here and pretend like he can take care of Eddie because he can’t stop seeing Eddie die. It’s in the back of his head every moment, it’s what he sees every time he closes his eyes, it’s the memory rewritten by his cells as they multiply and decay, it’s in his fucking genome now or whatever they call it—

it’s in the air he breathes, the reminder that for a moment that lasted an eternity, Eddie’s heart had stopped beating.

It’s a loud silence. Deafening.

Buck thinks, take a breath before you pass out, idiot.

Buck thinks, get a glass of water and pull yourself together.

Buck thinks, your best friend just got shot, you don’t have time for this bullshit.

Buck peels his hands away from the counter slowly, carefully, like if he makes one wrong move he’ll come away with flayed palms. He pours himself a glass of water and makes himself drink the whole thing. He picks up the list he wrote and reads it over and over and over. He thinks: what do I know is true? I’m standing in Eddie’s kitchen. I’m alive. Eddie is alive. And: I should get carrots.

Buck hiccups. Carrots—fucking—

No. Get it together. DAMN IT, Buck!

Buck bites the inside of his cheek until it bleeds and does not add carrots to the grocery list. Because apparently they cause emotional breakdowns, and Buck can’t afford one.

He puts himself to work. He ties the trash bag and then he wipes down the counters, and then he unties the trash bag to throw some paper towels in. He transfers the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, quiet as he can, and locates a broom at the back of Eddie’s hall closet to sweep the floor.

When he’s emptying the dust pan into the trash (he’d tied and untied the bag again, but nobody’s counting, so what does it matter), Eddie says: “Are you OK?”

Buck jumps at least three feet in the air. He’s got the quads for it.

“Hey!” Buck whisper-shouts, turning to face Eddie. “What are you doing up?”

“Was wondering where you were.”

“Uh,” Buck looks around at the spotless kitchen and the broom in his hand. “Just, you know. Thought I’d be of service.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. “Buck, the last thing I’m worried about is the state of my kitchen.”

“Right. That’s why I’m taking care of it. You know, so you don’t uh. You don’t have to.”

“OK.” Eddie squints at him like maybe a closer look will explain why Buck is sweeping his kitchen at 9:45pm three days after he got shot in the street in broad daylight. Buck sincerely hopes he doesn’t figure it out. He leans the broom against the counter and clips the dust pan to it in a rare display of tidiness. The pan slides down the broom handle until it hits the floor.

“When’s the last time you slept?”

Buck shrugs.

“Answer, please.”

God, what a dad.

(Not that Buck would know.)

“Uh… I think I got a few hours while you were in surgery.”

“That was two days ago, Buck,” Eddie says, frowning at him. “You look like a stiff breeze could knock you over.”

“Well, we’re inside.”

“Why are you being so stubborn? You need to sleep.”

“I’m just not really feeling it,” Buck says, folding his arms and resting his hip against the counter.

“Not giving you a choice,” Eddie says, looking extra grumpy because he can’t fold his arms. Unless you count the one in a sling as folded.

“I’m fine, Eddie. Don’t worry about me. You should be with Christopher.”

Eddie lifts his hand to his face and rubs his temples.

“Buck,” he says, “the only thing I need you to do right now is come to bed.”

“But I—“

“Come to bed, Buck.”

And it’s the repetition. It’s the look in Eddie’s eyes like a slow, early flame: the promise of a fire.

Buck’s throat is very, very dry.

“I… yeah. OK.”

Eddie gives him a small smile. Buck’s reeling. Because here’s the thing—they’ve shared a bed before. They’ve shared a too-small bunk at the station and a backseat and even a beanbag once (courtesy of a very poor decision on Buck’s part, but at least Chris likes it). But it’s always been “just bros.” It’s always been necessity. It’s been about efficiency and familiarity. Which maybe Buck is reading this all wrong and snuggling up with your best friend and his son after a near-death experience is totally no homo but… come to bed. Come to bed. Like it’s their bed. Like Buck belongs there.

Buck’s ears are ringing while he follows Eddie down the hallway to his bedroom. Their bedroom? He’s losing it.

The hallway light illuminates a strip of the room as they step inside. Buck can see Chris tucked in the sheets, curled into the rumpled spot where Eddie slid out to fetch Buck. This has to mean something, right? They’ve been dancing around and on the edge of something for so long, Buck doesn’t know how to interpret anything anymore. He loves Eddie, though. And probably the only way he’ll sleep right now is if Eddie’s in arm’s reach. So it doesn’t really matter what this is, because Buck will take any scrap of Eddie he can get, not just tonight, but always.

Eddie slips into the bed and scoots forward, leaving a space behind for Buck. Chris makes a heavy, sleepy sound and turns his head into his dad’s shoulder. Carefully, so, so carefully, Buck lowers himself onto the bed and fills the space Eddie made for him.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asks, exasperated.

Buck blinks at the ceiling. “What?”

“Idiot,” Eddie mutters. “Spoon me.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Buck, this bed is small enough as it is with one person. I know you’re hanging half off it right now.”

“You’re not even looking at me.”

“Call it intuition,” Eddie says, dry as the desert.

Buck gingerly turns on his side, his chest just a breath away from Eddie’s back. “I…” He swallows. “Where should I put my arm?”

“Buck, you must have done this before.”

“That’s your bad arm, Eds.”

Eddie shifts a little, his calf coming into contact with Buck’s shin. Buck breaks into a cold sweat.

“Shit, well… under the sling, then. Around my waist?”

Dry, dry, his throat is so dry.

Buck lifts his arm up and drapes it over Eddie’s waist. He shuffles in closer, pressing them together from head to toe. His nose is in Eddie’s hair, his dick is nestled in the curve of Eddie’s ass, his ankles are knocking into Eddie’s. Buck feels like he might reverberate out of his skin.

“You sure you wouldn’t rather have Ana here?” Buck whispers. His mouth is like, one inch from Eddie’s ear.

Eddie turns his head a little, so his ear actually brushes Buck’s lip. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Eddie says, “There’s no one in this world I want here more than you.”

Buck stutters on his next breath.

“I wish it’d been me,” he says, suddenly. Eddie has to know. Eddie probably already knows. Buck’s grateful, so goddamn grateful, that Eddie survived. And sure, part of it is that self-deprecating shit he’s been working through with this therapist: Eddie has more to live for, Eddie has a kid, Eddie is a better man than I’ll ever be. But mostly, it’s far simpler than that.

If Eddie had died, the sniper may as well have shot Buck too. Because Buck doesn’t know how to live without Eddie. He’d found that out ages ago, when he lost Eddie under fifty feet of mud and water.

Eddie’s next words are nearly a growl. “The only good thing to come out of all this,” he says, “is that you didn’t get hurt.”

“What are you—“

“After it happened, when I was… when I was lying there, I—I looked at you. I looked at you, Buck, and I was terrified. Not because I might die, but because if I did, who was going to protect you? Who was going to keep a sniper off your self-sacrificing, heroic ass, and make sure someone came home to Chris? Who was—“ Eddie cut himself off with a sigh. “I was worried about you.”

Buck feels like… like an unbroken, empty tundra. Like a fried electric socket. Like someone dropped him to the very bottom of a very deep well.

“Eddie, Eddie I—“

“Shh,” Eddie murmurs, as Buck shakes apart. As he bends his head to hide his tears in the nape of Eddie’s neck. As he bites his tongue to stay quiet and not wake Chris up. Eddie presses backward into Buck’s hold. “I know, I know.”

“I can’t lose you,” Buck grits out between several halting breaths.

“You won’t,” Eddie says.

“I almost did.”

“You had my back.” Buck’s throat makes an awful, wheezing sound as he fights a losing battle against crying. “You got me out of there. You saved me.”

“I love you,” Buck says, losing the fight against that too.

“Buck… I…” Eddie sounds like someone knocked the wind out of him.

“Sorry,” Buck hurries to say, chest icing over with panic. “Sorry I just—“

“I love you,” Eddie interrupts. “I do. I know it took me a long time to realize, but… I’ve been in love with you, Buck.”

“Oh my god,” Buck says. I mean, what else do you say to that? No wonder Eddie froze up. Buck is in shock. “Is this real?”

“I hope so,” Eddie says. “And if it isn’t, then I’ll just have to tell you when we wake up.”

Buck feels fit to burst with more emotions than he can name. Relief, joy, fear, disbelief, pin-prickly. It feels like another miracle.

“Deal,” Buck says. And places a kiss to the fatal, devastating spot behind Eddie’s ear.

Eddie is the first thing Buck sees when he wakes up. “Good morning” are the first words he hears.

And then:

“Just so you know, I love you.”

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Acting Out

so this was inspired by the stream Tango did on 29/06/21. first of all, go watch it bc it’s one of the best streams i’ve ever seen. extremely entertaining. and this thing does contain spoilers for it.

but essentially my brain went “what if that stream… but angst?” and so this was born :)

…

Tango trudges all the way back to the boatem village, with nothing but unenchanted iron armour and a nearly broken iron sword. The whiplash of emotions he’s experienced tonight has all but drained his energy AND his inventory. Now, he has nothing left to lose.

Tango steps out of the portal and immediately heads for Impulse’s house. He digs through the chest that holds the random pieces of enchanted diamond armour that Impulse looted from the End and puts on a full set, not even bothering to check the enchantments. As he heads outside, he happens to glance over and spot an empty area that he knows used to hold something important. “Oh, wow, look at that. Nothing there.”

“Hi,” says Pearl cautiously, appearing from near her house. “Um… isn’t that Impulse’s armour?”

“Maybe.” Tango’s tone oozes with passive-aggression. “By the way, that’s a great area over there. A real great area. Nothing built there, not even lit up.”

Pearl follows his gaze and glances back at him, realising what he means. “Oh, uh…”

“Tango?” Impulse approaches them, glancing warily between the two. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for my stuff,” Tango replies. “Is that too much to ask? Are you boatem folk in the habit of murdering people and holding their stuff hostage forever?”

“I’ll remind you that not only were you the one to kill first, you were also the one to steal first,” retorts Pearl.

“I just wanted Scar’s hat. What’s the big deal?” Tango shoots Impulse a scowl. “Where did Timmy go?”

“What?”

“Timmy. The pig. Lived in an amethyst hut. Sound familiar?”

“Oh! Uh…” Impulse shoots a worried look at Pearl. “He’s… um… He’s fine. We… We just…”

“Just what?” Tango takes an aggressive step closer to Impulse, before shaking his head and turning away. “Oh nevermind, don’t worry about it. All fine.”

“Tango, you’re scaring me,” Impulse says slowly. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah! Yeah, all good!” Tango gives an exaggerated grin. “I’ve only died, what, five times in the last half hour? Lost all my gear twice, gained and lost an unspeakably important advantage, and now I’m back here and it turns out my best friend may have murdered my pig? That’s nothing. I feel nothing.”

“I think it’s time for you to leave,” says Pearl firmly. “We’ve all gone a bit too far tonight but it’s time for you to go home. I’ll drop your stuff off tomorrow.”

“What, giving up?” Tango says tauntingly. “We didn’t even get to fight properly today, Pearl.”

Pearl’s voice hardens. “That can be arranged.”

“Pearl-,” Impulse starts.

“I’m sorry, Impulse, but he’s barged in here uninvited twice tonight and now he’s waltzing around in YOUR armour. I can’t just let that slide.”

“Ah, I think I’m just gonna go.”

Tango starts to walk off but Pearl steps into his path, drawing the string back on her bow. “Tango, leave Impulse’s armour.”

“Oh, you want me to leave it? I’ll put it back right where it belongs.”

He moves close to the boatem hole and throws a couple of apples into it.

“Stop it! Just give the armour back.”

Tango just grins at her. “But I’m putting it back where it belongs.”

“I will push you in this hole,” Pearl threatens. “Is that what you want?”

“Go ahead,” Tango taunts. “Hit me in. It’s only Impulse’s stuff and a bunch of crappy iron gear. Do it.”

As Pearl hesitates, Tango lunges for the bow in her hand.

Then Impulse appears out of nowhere and barges into Tango, knocking him backwards into the hole.

Tango fell out of the world

He respawns back in the underground part of his base.

The first thought in his mind is I don’t think I’m getting my stuff back.

He gets up out of his bed and starts rifling through his chests. There’s not a lot of iron in there, and there’s even fewer diamonds. Maybe letting himself fall into the void with his backup iron gear on him was not a good idea.

His communicator buzzes.

<impulseSV> Are you at home now, Tango?

Tango rolls his eyes and decides not to reply.

Unfortunately, he’s so engrossed in his stewing emotions that he misses the telltale hissing sound until it’s too late.

Tango was blown up by creeper

When he wakes up, Tango finds himself not on his bed but on the cold grass floor, and he doesn’t have the energy to get up. He lies still, letting his emotions bleed out onto the grass.

That’s his seventh death in less than an hour. Essentially one death per ten minutes. He’s utterly exhausted, mentally and physically.

He doesn’t want to play this game anymore.

<PearlescentMoon> Tango, are you okay? Do you need help?

<impulseSV> Are you okay?

Tango ignores his communicator going off.

<impulseSV> Tango, please answer us. We’re worried about you.

<impulseSV> Okay, coming over.

After a while, Tango heaves himself to a sitting position and checks his communicator. Realising his friend is probably almost to his house, he gets to his feet and heads for the stairs, but it’s too late.

“Tango, are you okay?” comes Impulse’s voice from the doorway.

Tango pauses and gives a sigh. “I’m fine. I didn’t have anything on me to lose.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Impulse moves closer to him and places his hand on his shoulder. “You’ve been so weird tonight and I’m more than a little worried about you.”

Tango shoves Impulse’s hand away. “Leave me alone.”

“No.” Impulse takes hold of Tango’s shoulders and tries to hold him in place. “Tango-!”

Tango fights against his friend, trying to shove him away. “Get off me! I don’t wanna see you!”

“Talk to me, buddy!” Impulse begs. “Please!”

“Leave me alone!”

“But WHY?! Why do you suddenly hate me?!”

“I-!” Tango breaks off as tears threaten his vision. “I can’t be your enemy in another war, Impulse! I-I just can’t!”

Impulse freezes. “What…?”

Tango can’t help a sob. “It just feels like another war is brewing and we’re gonna end up on opposite sides AGAIN and I just can’t do it, Impulse! I can’t fight you again!”

“Tango…”

Impulse falls silent as he realises that this explains his best friend’s actions tonight. When something is seriously bothering Tango, he goes a little stir crazy and starts acting out. A similar thing happened in the early stages of season 6’s prank war and season 7’s turf war. Tango clearly senses that another conflict is about to arise, and it’s making him anxious.

“You don’t have to fight me,” he murmurs, holding his best friend close. “I won’t let it go that far, alright?

Tango buries his face in Impulse’s armour, trying to hold back tears. “I’m sorry… I was so stupid tonight…”

“No, it… it’s okay.”

“It’s… never been this bad before. My acting out. I just let myself go where my weird impulses took me and… I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. I’m so sorry you have to put up with me.”

Impulse rubs his best friend’s back soothingly. “It’s okay. But if it happens again, I need you to tell me, okay? If you ever feel like this again, talk to me. I can help you get through it and we can avoid another situation like earlier. I’m always here for you, man. You know that, right?”

Tango slowly nods. “Th-Thanks.”

“No problem.”

[cherry-valentine]

Summer 2021 Anime Season

What I’m Watching:

Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid is one of the cutest, sweetest series I’ve seen in a while. The plot sounds rather dark, following a young duke who has been cursed by a witch so that anything he touches, from plants to animals to people, will die. Touching through clothes has the same effect. This naturally isolates him, to the point that his own family have shunned him and he’s forced to live in a separate home out in the woods, with only two servants who are kind (or crazy) enough to stay with him despite the danger. One is an elderly butler who takes on a fatherly role, and the other is the beautiful, busty maid named Alice. And this is where a show that could have gone really dark brightens up to an adorable romantic comedy. Alice is not the least bit afraid of the duke’s curse, and her teasing, cheerful disposition practically forces him to open up. Speaking of Alice, I really enjoy the way her character is handled. Just as the show could have gone dark, it also could have gone sexist and gross. Alice is very busty, as I mentioned, and the show does have some fanservice, but the WAY this fanservice is done makes all the difference. Alice is a flirty character who always seems to be an enthusiastic participant in whatever fanservice we see, rather than being an object to be leered at. She’s very much in control of her body and her sexuality, which I appreciated. Also, there’s a lot of restraint on display here. There are so many ways they could have ruined this by going too far, but they didn’t. The fanservice is restricted to some cleavage shots and Alice occasionally flipping up her own dress to display her stockings. It comes across more as “sexy fun times” than “male gaze oggling a woman”. Because Alice is an interesting and well-written character in her own right. On the surface, she’s unflappable, facing a dire situation with limitless patience and optimism. But we get a few small, brief glimpses of the emotional toll it all takes on her, which is refreshing. The duke himself is a fun character, forever flustered by Alice’s antics but clearly not wanting her to stop. There are some amusing side characters as well. The animation has been criticized quite a bit, as it’s CG. It’s not the best looking CG animation I’ve seen, but it’s far from the worst. For a simple, cute show like this, it’s fine. Recommended if you like romantic comedies with a somewhat dark setup.

Vanitas no Carte is based on a manga by the woman who did Pandora Hearts, so you have some basic idea of what you’re getting into: extravagant period costumes, gothic European scenery, dark and violent themes mixed with goofy humor, and a very complicated web of character relationships. This series features a vampire society that’s being plagued by “curses” which turn the vampires into mindless beasts that can only be saved by mercy killing them. That is, until a human named Vanitas shows up with the power to cure the “curse bearers” using a legendary book that most vampires doubted the existence of. He teams up with Noe, a kind and naive yet physically very strong vampire who has been tasked with finding said book and determining whether its power is real. The result is a bizarre buddy comedy with touches of gruesome violence and gorgeous art. Of the two protagonists, Noe is my favorite. He’s sweet and good-natured, naive but not stupid. He has a disturbing back story (as most of the characters do) but he can still look at the world with excitement and wonder. He also has a hilarious and adorable cat named Murr. Vanitas, on the other hand, is an insufferable asshole. And I don’t mean in the fun way. I mean he literally makes the show hard to watch when he’s onscreen. I normally like the smug bastard types in anime, but Vanitas really pushes the limits of my tolerance. In an early episode he forces a very deep, very long kiss on a woman he has rendered immobile and unable to defend herself, groping her all the while. I found the scene very troubling, and was even more troubled when I read the comments on the episode, almost all of which calling the kiss “sexy” or “hot” or, worst of all, “romantic”. It’s extremely obvious that the woman did not want or enjoy the kiss, but aw, she was all blushy and embarrassed afterward, so it was a cute scene, right? Ugh, no, gross. The woman, named Jeanne, was established as a very powerful, badass vampire. Yet she’s quickly reduced to a red-faced, crying mess by this absolute garbage character sexually assaulting her in front of several other characters. The whole scene was so bothersome I almost dropped the series entirely, because Vanitas never faces any consequences for this act. He just grins smugly after it’s over. However, I kept watching because, aside from Vanitas, the show is amazing. The art and animation are breathtaking. The plot is highly interesting. The characters, Vanitas excluded, are compelling. And then we have Noe, who is pretty much the opposite of Vanitas. Honestly, if Vanitas was the only protagonist, I would have dropped it, but he’s one of two. So... recommended, but with caution. Your mileage may vary on how much Vanitas you can stomach.

Heion Sedai no Idaten-tachi is.,. not something I expected to enjoy. It has a visual style that reminds me of Kill la Kill, a show I absolutely loathed. The overall vibe of the show is a little off-putting for me, but somehow I got myself hooked on it. The basic set up is that, hundreds of years ago, giant monstrous demons roamed the earth. All the gods of the earth got together, defeated the demons, and sealed them away, leaving one young god named Rin behind to watch over the seal and train newly born gods to fight, should the seal ever be broken. Flash forward to the present day, where Rin has only been able to train a very small number of gods because most of them can’t handle Rin’s absolutely brutal training (it mostly consists of her murdering them over and over and letting them regenerate, as they’re essentially immortal). Unfortunately, some demons have come back, and they’ve taken the appearance of humans. This revelation motivates some of the younger gods to resume their training with Rin. And that’s about all I can say for the plot without getting into some bizarre subplots. There’s a lot I don’t like about the show. I’m not crazy about its cartoony look given the subject matter. I don’t like that there’s basically a whole subplot that revolves around human women being repeatedly raped (side note: rape is never graphically shown, though it is made extremely clear what is happening and we see the lead up to it, also this is a rather small subplot that gets little attention after the first episode). And I absolutely hate that a character involved in this subplot, who encourages it, is presented as a character we should actually like. But! There are some things I really enjoy about it as well. I think the setup is really cool. The gods, and their role in the world of the story, are super interesting. They’re practically indifferent to humans, not even taking the slightest bit of interest when one country invades another and slaughters innocent civilians, because to them, it’s like a human intervening when one animal fights and kills another in the woods. So long as humans aren’t completely wiped out, they don’t get involved. Which is a neat concept. I also like the battles, which are frenetic and a blast to watch. And I totally love Rin, who is just a straight up badass in every single way. She’s one of those ridiculously overpowered characters we sometimes get in anime, most of which are usually male. Rin is so absurdly powerful that other absurdly powerful characters are terrified of her to the point that the mere mention of her name triggers panic attacks. Watching her fight is pure joy. Also the music is great, with an absolute banger of an opening theme. Recommended if you like wild, imaginative action anime and aren’t triggered by rape.

Carry Over Shows From Previous Seasons:

To Your Eternity Boku no Hero Academia Shaman King

Best of Season:

Best New Show: Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid

Best Opening Theme: Heion Sedai no Idaten-tachi

Best Ending Theme: Vanitas no Carte

Best New Male Character: Noe (Vanitas no Carte)

Best New Female Character: Alice (Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid)

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Drop the Evie essay you wrote

okay so first of all it wasn’t really an essay the way some of my ramblings are, more like just me writing down all of my thoughts in a vaguely coherent manner bc my brain was running too fast to really organize it 

and second of all, just to be on the safe side, these are the potential trigger warnings that I would give for the essay — I don’t know if they all actually come up or not, but better safe than sorry, so proceed with caution!

Potential TWs: being outed, parental neglect, character death (canon), suicide attempts (semi-canon), eating disorders, lots of mental health issues, and lots of general trauma and feelings of never being good enough, and canon typical references to drinking/drugs/partying/etc

so just like a fun fact, Evie’s vitamin water of choice is zero sugar strawberry lemonade and yes i spent too long reading reviews on different flavours all because gossip girl did an entire product placement episode

anyways now onto real thoughts let’s go lesbians let’s go

so okay evie has a... very negative experience with Lily’s various boyfriends and husbands.  When Evie was younger she was always hopeful that this time would be different, that they’d be a family, that her mom would actually stick around, and every single time she’s been let down and left heartbroken.  When her mom starts dating Bart, Evie is very against it but she just can’t be bothered to even try to talk to Lily — Lily will date him, maybe get married, play house, abandon her children, then get divorced, and the cycle will repeat, and Lily will never give a shit about how her children feel about it.  Bart is just the latest rich man for Lily to set her sights on.  Given the overall shittiness of most of Lily’s exes, Evie had figured she would be a lot more vocally against Lily dating again, but Bart... 

Bart himself may terrify Evie, but Evie’s unwavering faith that Chuck will always protect her outweighs that fear, and Evie has long since given up on her mom caring about her opinions so she just takes comfort in the fact that Chuck will be there and tries to just ignore the rest — and the fact that Bart is pretty much always away does help with that.  That being said, she was very distraught when Bart spends season 1 christmas with them, but then Bart’s “present” for her was flying Chuck home for a few days because Lily mentioned that Eric was teasing Evie about being excited about having Chuck as a brother, and he's trying to semi-win over the kids (aka bribe them into accepting him as Lily’s fiancé)

Evie speaks several languages!  She started learning French and Spanish at a very young age, and then picked more up from Lily’s various husbands.  She’s not fluent in all of them but she can hold conversations in eight languages — and four of them were from Lily’s boyfriends (and italian was half pieced together from French and Spanish), and she just keeps learning more because she tries to keep herself too busy to think at any given moment

Rufus is her favourite step-dad by far, but Chuck is her favourite step-sibling (and second favourite sibling, after Eric).  That being said, Bart was surprisingly decent to her because even he quickly figured out that Evie has the innate ability to get Chuck to do basically anything, and he wanted her on his side, only he underestimated how much Evie hates him for treating Chuck like shit — as she says in 2x07, “if you want us to be a family, you should learn how to be a dad”

Evie has a bit of a thing for stealing coats lmao — it’s not unusual to find her stealing Chuck, Eric, Theo, or even Nate’s jackets when she gets cold or starts feeling particularly self conscious.  At the housewarming party she actually gets to bothered by all the media watching her constantly that Chuck goes and gets her one of his blazers to replace the cropped one she was wearing, and she immediately feels a bit more at east

Evie is a jock like it’s understated but she’s on multiple sports teams at school and plays outside of school too — she’s also in dance classes several times a week, along with private vocal lessons, and being part of every theatre production at Constance Billard (musicals and plays), and is on the yearbook committee.  Basically, Evie needs a fucking nap, and with a lot of pushing from Chuck and Eric and Theo (to balance out Blair “do absolutely everything in the name of Yale” Waldorf) she does eventually ease up on her extra-curriculars

She holds far too much power in the Constance-St Jude hierarchy.  She’s a freshman, but it’s well known that Evie is completely untouchable.  Some people (cough Jenny) might try to cross Blair, but no one is stupid enough to go after Evie — she’s not just Blair’s protégée, she’s also under Chuck’s protection.  And when Jenny does try to cross her in season 3 (physical and emotional bullshit, public humiliation, telling the entire school she’d tried to kill herself and had been at Ostroff not “in florida”), well... she learns that even being family won’t stop her entire life from being destroyed

Speaking of Jenny... that’s a very messy relationship — I want to like Jenny, I really do, but I just... don’t so far.  They’re a very sweet relationship early on, neither of them had dated before and they were just really smitten with each other and things were good.  There were definitely some issues because of the Jenny-Blair war, but they’d been okay — or so Evie had thought, until Jenny dumped her by means of introducing everyone to her new boyfriend, Asher.  Then of course there’s the party and Jenny outing her, and then just not talking to her for months until she needs something from them (an in to the White Party).  Eric manages to convince Evie to play nice, but he does so under the impression that Jenny had apologized to Evie — he didn’t know she’d only apologized to him.  Eventually Jenny does apologize and Evie tries to forgive her, and she keeps giving Jenny more and more second chances (especially once they become step sisters), but Jenny really just keeps hurting Evie to get on top because with Blair gone, Evie immediately becomes the new queen, and Jenny cares more about being queen than being nice.  Little does she realize that part of why Evie became queen with no challenge is because she’s nice.

and regarding Evie’s other relationships... so serena was a really good big sister when Eric & Evie were kids — Blair was the responsible sister and Serena was the fun sister, but it was a good balance and it worked.  But when the twins were around eleven and Serena was around 13, she became besties with Georgina Sparks, and everything went to shit.  Serena started getting into partying and drinking and drugs and became just as flighty and unreliable as Lily, which takes a significant toll on the twins’ mental health — side note, one of their therapists at the Ostroff Centre believes that their significant codependency stems from the abandonment issues they have as a result of Lily and Serena just up and leaving them whenever anything “better” comes along.

And unfortunately for the twins, this was around the same time (grade 6) that Theo got sent to boarding school, so really they lost both their sister and their best friend at the same time, and Theo leaving also messed up the overall group dynamics and they half lost Nate too — he was still in their lives but he went from being the dad to Blair’s mom to being more of a big brother, and there was this sort of hole that didn’t get filled until a couple of years later.

And of course, a lot of it then fell to Blair to try to fill that hole and the holes left by Serena and Lily and went from being sort of “mom friend big sister” to “literally the closest thing we have to a mom”, which is also just a lot of pressure for a thirteen year old girl and part of why Blair and Chuck got a lot closer after he ended up becoming their dad was because she finally had someone that she could talk to too.

Also like full disclosure, Chuck never really intended to become their dad.  He started off as a reluctant big brother because he was Nate’s best friend and Nate was the dad friend when they were younger, and Evie just kind of decided that she loved him and like no one can argue with Evie so all of a sudden he was part of the family.  He doesn’t really become dad until the van der Woodsens move into the hotel because suddenly Eric and Evie are just always there, and he doesn’t even realize it until months later, after Serena is gone and he realizes that he’s been skipping parties to like play mario kart and shit with the twins and Blair is just like “lmao yeah buddy you’re the last one to get this memo”

and then there’s this list that I made of the NJBC’s roles in raising the twins and theo back when they were younger

Blair: holds their hands to cross the street, teaches them not to talk to people who wear sneakers or to strangers, teaches them how to dress themselves like respectable people, makes them finish their homework before watching tv, hates all of their nannies and only trusts dorota to take care of them Nate: teaches them to tie their laces and their ties, plays video games and sports with them, helps them with homework and doesn't get impatient when they struggle, lets them use his notebooks to draw in when they're bored Chuck: will destroy anyone who hurts them, teaches them street smarts and how to tell when someone is lying, is the one who lets them do dumb and reckless things because he'd rather they do them when he's there to get in trouble, still refuses to believe that they know what sex is Serena: reminded them that it's okay to have fun and draw outside the lines, stood up for them when lily was being a shit mom and always tried to protect them from the worst of her neglect, came up with games to play when they were sad to take their minds off whatever is upsetting them

And Theo!!!!!!  Theo has been their best friend for their entire lives!  They’ve known him since they were babies and the three of them have always been inseparable!  Like highkey they were just a more functional NJBC lmao, and we love them for it!  Theo getting sent to boarding school was really hard on all three of them but they stayed in constant contact and whenever Theo is back in the city, it’s almost impossible to see them not together.  Theo does know that they were in the Centre, so once he’s back full time, he’s spending as much time visiting them as he can!  Even when Eric and Theo are dating (and later when Evie and Theo are dating), the group dynamics really never change!  It’s still always the three of them, and sometimes Jenny in s1, they’re still each other’s family, and they’re still just a bit too interdependent to be entirely healthy (it’s the trauma and neglectful parents)

on a slightly related note, neither of the twins drink anything other than champagne and sometimes wine, and neither of them touch drugs at all, and it’s entirely because of Serena.  They’ve both seen how much she’s changed since she got into that scene, and especially since ‘liking partying’ turned into ‘alcohol addiction’, and they’re both too afraid of ending up like that to even take the risk.  It’s something that definitely sets them apart from pretty much any of their peers, but they’ve gotten very good at just laughing it off with a “hey, I just don’t want to end up on Gossip Girl tomorrow” which people generally accept

(that being said, Evie did smoke for a while pre-canon bc cigarettes curb hunger, but she hasn’t smoked at all since ending up in the Centre, and once she’s out too many people have an eye on her for her to even try, and she does want to stop)

(TW ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, fairly detailed discussion) so okay the breaking point for the twins... lily had just gone awol again and Blair was away visiting her dad and evie was at the archibalds’ house hanging out with theo, who was home for a weekend, and eric didn’t want to call anyone because lily’s disappearance had left him in a spiral of feeling annoying and like people didn’t really want him in their lives and there wasn’t a specific trigger but instead of the spiral slowing down or evie/chuck/blair being able to pull him out of it, it just kept getting worse until he was slitting his wrist in the bathroom — only Evie had just gotten home and when he didn’t reply to her calling his name, she got freaked out and started looking for him and when she saw him, she just... couldn’t deal.  She called 911 for eric but then she was just in the bathroom and covered in his blood and she didn’t know what to do and she needed to calm down so she grabbed a bottle of valium that she thinks was Lily’s but instead of just taking one pill she ended up taking all of them and downing them with a bottle of vodka serena had hidden — once she realized what she’d done she called Chuck and basically just said “I think I fucked up” and Chuck freaks out (understandably) and rushes to their suite and gets there basically just in time to see both of them being loaded into an ambulance; he claims he’s their brother and rides with them to the hospital where he calls blair, and arranges for his jet to pick her up asap, and then tries (unsuccessfully) to get in touch with lily

[19mrs-barnes17]

Don’t Be Stupid

Summary: A blast from the past, Sam Winchester stumbles his way into a hunt already in progress. Little does he know they’re flying solo.

Part: 1/1

Pairing: Sam Winchester x reader

Warnings: minor mention of loss, flirtation, minorly graphic

Word count: 2,733

A/N: The fact that most of the Sam smiling gifs are in the early seasons hurt my heart. But enjoy!

~

She knew it was a bad idea. The lack of a completed plan in her mind barely got her through the foyer, blood dripping down her forehead as she struggled against the force. Her foot reached out for the machete that lay a foot or two away, nearly snagging it as the clean cut sound of a blade running through flesh was followed by the vamp’s head toppling from its neck. Wiping the blood from her face she was met with an angry man, an attractively tall and hazel eyed man, who didn’t get a moment to lecture her. Though she could tell by the way his eyes locked onto her, they were practically a window into his brain where the gears could be seen turning as they attempted to produce a speech. 

She dove for her machete and continued on while he fought off two vamps who almost seemed to have a personal vendetta against the guy. Despite knowing she had no time to wonder how another hunter ended up on her case, she was curious about his identity and couldn’t help but let her mind wander as she sliced through the nest. Everything was going a lot smoother with that stranger to watch her back, but she’d never tell him that. Can’t go feeding any more egos.

“I’d drop that blade if I were you.” Halting in her tracks she turned to glance behind her, eyes trailing from the machete on the carpet to the way the vamp had the hunter in a hold. So much for smooth going. Her mind was calculating from the moment she laid eyes on the pair, an idea forming in her head. And it was a two person job.

“All right, calm down.” She shifted her gaze to the stranger’s, bending her knees as she went to set down her weapon, but a quick nod from him set it into motion. The stranger clawed at the vamp’s face while she spun, ducking when she released the machete from her grip. Somehow the blade actually made it halfway through its neck, striking the creature at an odd angle. However, this was enough to throw him off and the stranger landed the killing blow with his own blade.

“I can’t believe that actually worked.” The stranger was kneeling before the vamp with a mixed expression, half in shock and half impressed.

“I don’t think anyone is going to.” He glanced up from the body, a soft smirk on his lips as he handed her machete back. The sound of cries rang out and both heads snapped to the direction they emanated from, the long dark hallway becoming less empty by the minute as a few vamps began to trail out of the rooms. “Well fuck me. Guess we just hit the beehive with a bat.”

“Seems like it. What’s the plan?” She had scoffed, eyes scanning around them for something to spark an idea. “Are you telling me you waltzed in here with no plan?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize I brought my mother along for the trip. My plan was to wipe ‘em out one by one as I snuck around the house. What I didn’t account for was you following me here.” He rolled his eyes before shoving her into the nearest room and pressing his back against the door.

“Yeah well you can thank your buddy Garth for the tip.” That’s when it hit her, she knew exactly how he had gotten there and was going to smack Garth for his big mouth later. “Now grab that desk.”

“Yeah okay let me just shift into She-Hulk.” Muttering angrily she knocked the knick knacks from the top and pushed the desk with her back. “Remind me to remind Garth I hunt alone. Especially when it's the nest that killed my partner.”

“That’s exactly the type of hunt you call in backup for, emotions always cloud judgement on a revenge hunt.” She rolled her eyes, knowing full well he couldn’t see with her back to him. “Some friendly advice? Anger makes you stupid. Stupid gets you killed.” 

“Gee thanks for the tip. Next time keep it to yourself, especially since, oh I don’t know, we’re not partners or friends.” Once she’s close enough he joins in pushing the desk up against the door, the pounding against the door intensifying. “Now what wise guy.”

“Sam.” 

“Sorry?” 

“My name is Sam. And now? Now we can control when they get in, and take a breather beforehand.” He had this cocky look about his stance and his gestures as he spoke, as though he thought himself an expert of some sort.

“Who are you?” It was killing her that he seemed so experienced, and yet she had never come in contact with him before. Even worse was that the more she looked into his eyes, the ones that seemed to shift color depending on the lighting, the more she felt that she had.

“I just told you.” The rattling of the door has him speaking louder, his stance stiffening and ready. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re way too good at this.”

“Uh, thanks?” He chuckled softly but she shook her head, the atmosphere growing tense as she stared him down and the banging on the door softened. 

“Oh fuck me.” Her eyes scanned the room before landing on the balcony, “No seriously, fuck me.”

“I don’t think that’s the be-” His gaze followed hers, eyes widening in realization as he caught up. “Oh, fuck.”

“How fast can you move that desk?” Sam was already on it and she stood watch, the first vamp shattering the glass but only making it a foot before losing his head. 

“Let’s go!” Sam slices his way out while she backs her way from the room, her blade swinging violently back and forth. 

“There! Let’s draw them out.” The open foyer was the last stand, her back was pressed against his as they waited for the first vamp to venture a strike. “I’m Y/N.”

“What?” 

“You told me your name, but I never told you mine.” He glanced over his shoulder, brow furrowed. 

“You really don’t remember me do you?” Did you know that vampires have excellent timing? And by excellent she meant terrible. Mid-conversation bad. 

“Can’t say I do, those eyes are familiar though.” She grunts as a vamp nails her in the gut, her blade soon enough severing the woman’s head. Sam slices through the final vamp and the two are left huffing and puffing.

“You think we could just burn the building as the security measure?” He laughs, nodding at the idea before muttering something like ‘sounds good to me’. 

The blaze of the fire was wild as it nipped at the night air, the two only sticking around long enough to ensure it would keep burning. As they approached their cars they slowed to a stop before glancing once more at the house.

“Are you staying anywhere or did you just rush straight here?” She sent him a look with a smile that said, ‘I’m not that stupid’.

“I may rush into a ‘revenge case’ as you called it, but I know how bloody this job gets. A shower is a must.” She opened her car door, but paused before leaning inside. “Why do you ask?”

Sam shifted his weight awkwardly and she gasped, her smirk one that he had begun to admire. He glanced away quickly, praying the night hid the look in his eyes as he stared at the flaming building.

“Wow, Mr. Plan didn’t think to include a place for a clean up?” He rolled his eyes before sliding into his car and starting the engine, waiting for her to show him the way.

Refreshed she was, but also starving. For food and information. She knew it was time to figure out what she had somehow forgotten. Sam was a mystery puzzle piece and her brain would not be able to rest until she found out what happened between the two of them. When she opened the door there he stood, fist raised and ready to knock. Sam’s eyes met hers and he lowered his hand with a sheepish smile, he was next door and probably kicking himself for being so close. 

“That’s a frighteningly close guess.” He shrugged and pointed to her car, parked right outside the neighboring room. “Ah, nevermind it was an average one.”

“But still incorrect. You hungry?” This man was going to be the death of her, she could just tell by that dangerous smile and those pretty eyes. She didn’t stand a chance.

There was a diner 5 minutes away with the best chicken bacon melt she had ever tasted, melt in your mouth cheese that could make a girl foodgasm. She couldn’t help but moan as she took the first bite, rolling her eyes and mumbling at how delicious it was. Sam chuckled to himself, glancing at her as though she reminded him of someone. When dessert came round she knew she had to try their house special chocolate mousse pie, and he once more gave her that look of familiarity. 

“Southside Diner. About 5 years ago.” She froze just before she was about to slide a fork full of pie into her mouth, eyes flitting up to his. 

“Come again?” Setting her fork down she tilted her head, brow knit as he fumbled for something in his pocket. Out came his wallet, out of his wallet came a card. Suddenly she knew exactly what she had pushed from her memory, and she knew why. “Oh my god. Fuck me.”

“That has to be your catchphrase, because I still remember you flipping off my brother for his retort all those years ago.”

Y/N and Q sat upon the stools of the diner, rejuvenating their energy through copious amounts of food. Neither had spoken a word since the hunt, nothing had gone wrong per say, but both were officially too exhausted for words. The bell chimed and just like when someone walked through the door of a classroom her head couldn’t help but turn to look. In walked two tall men, one like a damn tree but the other not too far behind. Both fairly handsome, but one set of eyes ensnared hers instantly as they shifted colors under the fluorescent lights. She sent a smile and a small nod which he returned, his gaze torn away by his companion.

“Here.” Q slid a business card her way, the formerly blank back now covered in ink, her eyes scanned the note before she shook her head. “Oh come on. You never flirt, I’m getting tired of you letting them walk by.”

“You know it’s best not to date non-hunters, and you know I don’t do hookups.” He shoved the card into her hand with a smirk.

“Then it’s a good thing you just selected one, eh?” Brow knit together she glanced haphazardly over her shoulder, gaze meeting the emerald green pair instead. Quickly she turned away, one deep breath in and she slid out of her seat and turned toward the booth. However, she of course could never pull off a move so smooth and immediately ran into a waitress with a tray of milkshakes.

“Ah, fuck me.” The chocolate and strawberry ice cream absorbing into her black and white print leggings, her muddled navy top barely noticeable. 

“You should at least buy me a drink first, don’t ya think?” Her eyes trailed up to the emerald eyes that taunted her, her mind raging at the dick move he just pulled. Pushing herself off the floor she placed the card before the hazel eyed man who sat glaring at his companion, turning back to the flirt.

“There’s a place where you can pick up someone who’s actually interested down the street, it’s called a bar. Maybe you should try it some time.” She didn’t wait for a reply before flipping him off and heading for the door, only pausing to nod for Q to follow.

“Holy shit, you kept it?” She scanned the chocolate and strawberry pink stained card, fingers running over the faded ink before falling short at the phone number. “So that’s why you never got a hold of me, the dumbass wrote the wrong area code.”

“Ah, so that’s why I got some guy named Phil on the other end asking if his wife was expecting my call.” Sam laughed along with you, eyes seemingly a lighter shade. “I thought you were just messing with me, or you just really wanted to tell Dean off.”

“Can you blame a girl? I get doused in milkshake, curse, and the genius thinks I’m looking for a pick up from him. I don’t do hookups, especially not with guys that approach me like that.” Sam smirks, shaking his head at his brother’s antics.

“Trust me, I’m amazed by some of the lines that work.” She scoffs and demands an example, shoving her now empty plate aside and resting her chin in her hands. “No way.”

“Boo, you’re no fun. I’ll do one I’ve gotten if you tell me one of his that’s actually worked.” Sam arched a brow, but nodded. “Did you sit on a pile of sugar?” He shakes his head and mumbles a no, doing his best to contain his smile. “Cause you’ve got a pretty sweet ass.”

Sam pauses for a moment, cocking his head to head to the side and making a face that says, ‘mmm… yeah that’s accurate’. She leaned forward and smacked his chest with the back of her hand, head shaking at him. 

“Okay, a deal is a deal. Now I don’t remember the exact delivery, but it was something to this effect.” Sam clears his throat and regains his composure, eyes taking on an expression she’d never seen before. “I just thought I’d let you know that I value my breath, so it would be nice if you didn’t take it away every time you walked by.”

For some reason her hormones betrayed her brain and she was left rendered silent for a minute or two. She cleared her throat and was immediately searching for something to say. She should have known better than to ask a man she’s attracted to to tell her a pick up line.

“Well fuck me, that was smoother than he probably delivers it.” She immediately grabs her glass of water to take a sip and avoid eye contact. “Let me guess his shirt is made of boyfriend material.”

“Oh, no. Not his shirts, those are hookup material and nothing else.” 

“So what’s yours then?” She couldn’t believe the words slipped out, her cheeks flushing under his gaze.

“What do you want it to be?”

“Oh fuck you, stop being so damn smooth. You’re killing me here.”

“You asked, I delivered.” He held his hand up in surrender and she wanted him then and there, this big, dumb, but smooth as hell dork.

“I didn’t know I would unleash a flirting machine.” She tore away her gaze, a smile tugging at her lips. “I do know what I was hoping it to be.”

“Hoping what to be?”

“The material.” She felt ridiculous, but comedy was the only way she’d ever get this out.

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“Boyfriend.” She muttered the words through her hands, eyes peeking between her fingers to look at his reaction. His soft smile melted her worry, hands reaching for hers and intertwined his fingers with hers.

“I think that could be arranged. We did pretty much just have a first date.” 

“In that case, I usually don’t offer this on typical first dates… but I have a good feeling about you.” She stands up after the bill returns, her eyes daring to meet his gaze. 

The drive was quick and silent apart from the radio playing softly in the background. She found it pretty comical that after all this time, Garth of all people was the reason they had met again. Who would have guessed? 

“Well, you know the way to my room don’t you?” She paused, leaning against the hood of the car with a smirk that drove him wild.

“I think I might have it right this time.” It was official, that smile was her demise. And wouldn’t ya know… she didn’t mind that one bit. 

~

Tags: @qtmeryr​ @broken-hearted-barnes​ @asphalt-cocktail​ @cantnkrusshedevil​ @gstran18​ 

To join character tags or the everything tag please send an ask!

[spnreactionblogging]

CARRY ON

spoilers below but I’m very late to the game

here we go!!! there's Some Woman in the thumbnail for this episode and I'm like oh boy did you fuckers turn castiel into a girl to make it Not Gay, I will riot. we're off to a dread-inducing start I'm honestly not even sure I want to watch this? I have not heard anything good but since my options are either keep SPN blacklisted forever but ultimately get spoiled anyway, or use my dwindling remaining time to see it for myself without being told what happens, may as well be on my own terms I am hearing that misha and possibly j2 were not happy with this, whatever this is (?????) yikes I don't understand how you even have another episode after the last one. that seems like a traditional ending. you either beat a dead horse or go ultra meta and it sounds like they dropped the ball, big time but let's see jack's sweet and deserved better. there's a clock but it's NOT heat of the moment playing, damn oh the dog. we love you miracle dog sam's still jogging where's eileen!!!! I like seeing sam cooking I actually enjoy watching them do domestic stuff dean sneaking food to the dog 😭 can this be the whole episode, just them doing chores I meant to catch which book sam was reading I can't tell but it looks like it's old this is extra bonus sad for knowing that they couldn't even like, have a wrap party or anything. extra isolated. :( SPECIAL GUEST STAR JIM BEAVER!!! "Are you sure you're ready for this?" "Oh, I don't have a choice." dean hasn't been this relatable to me in years, this is how I feel watching this lmao akron pie fest dean dies of complications from diabetes god I miss bakeries or restaurants or anything I do love Sad Sam Face "I"'m thinking about Cas, you know? Jack. If they could be here." thank you Sam that pain isn't going away for me either "stop being an eeyore" Sam's the Eeyore of the series, Dean, okay, and same lmao jared fucking slammed that pie into jensen's face and they just filmed it. you can see the actual glee on his face brady??? like sam's old classmate? wasn't that his name? or no some kid. is this just a regular-ass monster of the week. do sam and dean just get killed by like. regular people? are there no monsters anymore. I would actually love that. humanity is truly the worst monster of all. didn't we learn that in season 1 :') in "the benders" are these guys sam and dean? are they just murdering monster families like they did in the holiday episode? what is happening. are those dean's shoes. I could probably recognize how they walk if I really paid attention i guess not. probably. "singer and kripke, FBI" ha fucking clowns lmao poor sam they still have dad's journal, huh. THE LORE evil mimes. vamp-mimes. I guess they kill these dudes? we gonna unmask them or what there we go this guy looks like joseph gordon-levitt oh we love torture on this show this is definitely "dean who's NOT the ultimate killer" amirite "if those kids are dead he's gonna use a spoon" how very walter sullivan of you also I feel like sam would not do this anymore but hey who am I, someone who likes consistent characterization? lol we're back to creepy barns instead of wet pipe factories dean has a fucking shuriken lmao I honestly for real need a machete for the overgrown weeds I don't hate this so far? I'm tired of the constant torture but I guess this feels like early seasons, kind of. idk. lmao sam with the concussions. classic tie them to a chair. it's what we do. i will be disappointed if they are not tied to a chair jenny? cue studio killers. I do not remember whatever episiode this is but it looks very early based on sam's hair oh thanks sam. couldn't get out of this episode without beheading a woman too one of the suggestions for me typing "woman" was a high-heeled shoe emoji. thanks, predictive text...?????? true feminist oh damn he could very well get tetanus from that. that's how trinity dies, man. should've gotten your booster shot, dean. vaccines save lives this is like the plot of signs why don't you guys wear bulletproof shit. your plot armor was holding you together until now. GUYS THIS IS HOW HUNTERS GO OKAY don't ever un-impale someone, guys like "dean we are in a major city, there are ambulances" call fucking 911, someone could be there already "I've always looked up to you" because you're taller than me lmaoooo idefk what to say about this like. we all know this is how hunters die. you fucking leered at jessica is what you did, dean if sam makes it out of this I'll accept it. if sam lives I can be okay. if this is the only way sam gets free of this, I'm okay. CALL 911 AND CALL JACK "always keep fighting" aw :( they're both very good at crying, I will give them that we never think it's gonna be the day. at least you got pie. OH THE WINCHESTER FAMILY MUSIC don't do this to me dean got a way better death than castiel. this actually reminds me a liiiiittle bit of the end of season 2? with how dean holds sam's body. the writing here is overwrought though. jared and jensen do the best they can with the script they're given but like you guys just FOUGHT GOD. they're a bit too up their own ass with this. you can tell that dabb thinks he's very clever. sam... gets a dog again? at least. i guess. the pacing is bad. I don't hate this on principle but it is not executed well. I am having like no emotional response to this except maybe relief for sam in a horrid way. like, you're free! at what cost. it's like the opposite of season 5? sam survives instead of dean. and... sam marries a dog. where do they get all this fucking lumber!!! did sam chop that all himself dude if he woke up to "heat of the moment" i'd lose my shit in the best way. gabriel wins. "gotta keep you on your toes." what had to change in this because of the pandemic? at least sam has a dog to be in scenes with him. the two guns as big and little brothers is an interesting choice of a shot. god the fucking phones. "DHS" "CIA" "dean's 'other other' phone" "state patrol" what's the paperwork on his desk? (512) is an Austin area code I have this on amazon prime and the saddest thing thus far is X-Ray: Jared Padalecki as Sam Winchester, with no other actors at all. meta ways, pandemic related. "this is agent bon jovi" donna's alive??? sam just quit, babe. just quit. or take a day off at least, jesus. didn't you just drive back from ohio are you even gonna go back to the bunker DEAN IN HEAVEN!!! how'd you get here. "well at least I made it to heaven" lmao he said the same thing oh hey bobby!! I love jack god i've missed jim beaver you guys moved on to dream bubbles!!!!! RUFUS how very homestuck + narnia of you, starring sam winchester as susan pevensie so jack just like melded all of these metaphysical spaces, I'm cool with that "so the question is what are you gonna do now, dean?" get a better beer so I can drink and drive with my car that's in heaven, I'm already dead so who cares what I hit TELL ME WHERE IS BALTHAZAR FOR I MUCH DESIRE TO SPEAK WITH HIM break everyone out of the empty I do get the impression this was supposed to be a big cast reunion and the pandemic clobbered that :( oh it's the original license plate on the impala sure do love that cas and jack "helped" to give dean everything he's ever wanted. the only time "carry on my wayward son" has been diegetic I guess sam and the dog had a child I like jared in glasses are we doing a bunch of elderly makeup yeah there he is did they just spray grey temp dye on his hair or what is sam gonna drive into toluca lake!!! buddy please don't just run the engine in a garage, he took off his glasses and that makes me nervous jake gyllenhaal looking dude which cover is this must be nice to have healthcare I so appreciate that sam's wife has zero personality and is merely in the background, of no importance whatsoever compared to his kid named dean are the two impalas gonna meet in heaven????? vancouver is beautiful, or wherever this is at jared looks so cozy in that coat you can tell j2 really do love each other for real the majesty of that forest/that river got me choked up a bit, it's such a lonely thing. like. I can see what they were going for? like dean just... getting sick, falling off a ladder, getting in a car accident, etc etc would've been more potent, I think. the execution was not good. I'm not that unhappy though. it's all right. eh. it's fine. the heartfelt message from the cast (what's left of them....) and the crew was sweet. I want to know what they were intending to do? I feel like you can definitely feel the weight of COVID fucking this up which is genuinely upsetting. sam gets like 50 years of being free of dean I GUESS???? perhaps the only way to break the cycle.

at least there was no sexual assault in this episode. i have definitely watched way worse episodes of this show. it's like. twee. but I can't be mad at these guys especially with how much I know jared in particular has been struggling with the state of the world this year but jensen talked about it with rosenbaum on his show too. 2020 has been rough. like. at least they filmed it. whatever. I feel like I get what they were trying to do even if circumstances meant it wasn't really pulled off. it seems like they were supposed to have a big cast reunion and the pandemic took the wind completely out of their sails. this feels incredibly tacked on. 15x19 would've been a much better place to stop. I feel like I just read andrew dabb's notes. I get what they were trying to go for but they didn't pull it off. I thought it was gonna be a lot worse tbh in summary: EHHHHHHHHH

[justanother-unluckysoul]

Whumptober #19

Characters: Dean Winchester, Lisa Braeden, little bit of Ben Braeden.

Rating: M

Word count: 1192

Summary: Post-season 5 ficlet. Sam’s dead and Dean struggles to adjust to “civilian life.” For Whumptober prompt #19: broken hearts.

Warnings: alcohol abuse, mentions of suicide.

Title from Twenty-One Pilots “Trapdoor.”

On AO3 || On FFN 

Finish This Waste Of A Life

The first few weeks with Lisa and Ben are rough. Dean sleeps beside Lisa the first night, but after a few hours he wakes up screaming Sam's name and drenched in sweat.

"I'm here, Dean," Lisa murmurs, embracing him and he allows himself to be held there, "It's okay."

But it's not okay because Sam is gone. Sam is in The Cage with freaking Lucifer and Dean can't catch his breath. He's going to break apart right there in Lisa's arms but he doesn't. He doesn't. He pulls away, mutters some excuse, stumbles out to the Impala but he can barely look at her. The windshield is still cracked where Dean's head impacted it. He needed to replace it. He can still feel Sam's fists against his face, see the pure hatred in his brother's eyes. That hadn't been his brother anymore. But then, it was his brother again and for a moment, Dean had Sam back. And then Sam had jumped into that hole and taken Adam with him and Dean had never wished so much for death than he did in that moment, sitting alone in the silent cemetery. But unfortunately, it hadn't been his time. 

Dean goes back into the house and drinks until he can't see straight. He wakes up lying on the bathroom floor hours later, choking on his own vomit.

 Ben speaks carefully to Dean in those early days, and keeps his movements slow and obvious, not at all like the excitable and spontaneous kid Dean knows him to be. Lisa must have spoken to him, warned him that Dean's unstable. Dean tries to settle his nerves but he still finds himself flinching at sudden noises, every unexpected touch a potential attacker. He barely sleeps, the nights broken by frequent nightmares, both of what was and what wasn't. He wants to drink to quiet his mind again, but Lisa's hidden the rest of her alcohol since that first night. Probably for the best, Dean thinks, because at this point he'd likely drink himself to death. And Sam wouldn't want that.

 Dean replaces the Impala's windshield at the end of the second week, touches up the scratches and minor dents from the fight, and then he covers her up with a gut-wrenching sense of finality, his eyes prickling with tears that won't fall. His hunting life is over. His place is here now, with Lisa and Ben.

 ***

 After that, Dean returns to Lisa's bed again. He doesn't say anything at all, which has become quite normal really. He stares up at the ceiling for a long time before sleep finally claims him, and Lisa lets herself drift off as well once he does. She wakes just before dawn to Dean moving restlessly beside her, breathing heavily and muttering under his breath. She props herself up on her elbow, her hand resting against Dean's chest, and she can feel his heart beating rapidly.

"Hey, Dean," she says softly, wanting to pull him from his unpleasant dream before it turns to a full-blown nightmare, "Dean, wake up."

She can barely see him in the dark but she feels the moment he wakes, his body tensing, a sharp intake of breath before he holds it momentarily.

"You're with me, Dean," Lisa assures him.

She can tell Dean's deliberately keeping his breaths slow and steady, but his racing heart gives away his lingering fear. His hand catches hers and squeezes tight.

"Lisa," he murmurs, and his voice trembles.

"I'm here."

She presses her body closer against his side.

 Over the next few weeks, Dean slowly unwinds. There are setbacks, of course. One morning Dean is reading the paper and something catches his attention. Lisa is about to ask what it is when Dean looks up from the article, his mouth open to say something, only to quickly close it again. His eyes meet Lisa's and she can see the heartbreak in them before he locks the emotion away. It was obvious to Lisa that something in the newspaper article had triggered his hunter's instinct, and that he'd been about to tell his brother about it.

"Dean-"

"I'm good," Dean says quickly, too quickly.

But his tone makes it clear that he's not going to open up to Lisa, and she has no choice but to let it go. Dean doesn't read the paper again for a long time.

 Dean starts to spend more time with Ben. Lisa often catches him looking at the kid with a sad sort of fondness in his eyes, as Ben soaks up every bit of knowledge Dean imparts on him. And Dean is full of knowledge, not all of it entirely child-appropriate, which Lisa is reminded of when she overhears Ben explaining to one of his friends some new fight tactics, including a few expletives for emphasis. She'd chided Dean for it later because she knew exactly where Ben had heard that from, and he'd only smirked and shrugged and she let it go because it was the first time since he arrived that she saw that cheeky spark back in his eyes.

 Time passes. Dean gets a job at a local mechanics. He’s good at it. Learned a lot from all those years keeping the Impala running smoothly, Lisa thinks. And he makes friends easily, making people trust him, turning on the charm like a mask he slips on. The same mask that allows him to lie like it's nothing when someone asks him about his past. He's still jumpy, some days worse than others, but the nightmares are few and far between. Lisa’s not quite ready to say things are good but maybe okay is the right word. Dean still keeps weapons under the bed.

"So some of the guys were talking about having a barbeque at Casey's on the weekend and I was wondering... if we could go."

Dean tosses the question over his shoulder as he peels potatoes on the kitchen table, seemingly embarrassed about asking her. He's still uncomfortable with this "civilian life," as he calls it, although he's trying his best.

"Of course," Lisa assures him.

 And so on Saturday afternoon, Lisa finds herself enjoying the company of a few friends, a few of Dean's work buddies, and a handful of Ben's friends too. The day is warm, and it's not long before the beers come out. Lisa can immediately see Dean's discomfort from across the yard. Since that night months ago where she found him barely conscious on the floor, drunk out of his mind, Dean hasn't touched the stuff. Lisa is drawn to his side, making a quick excuse to get out of the conversation she was in. But as she reaches him, Dean has pulled his mask firmly back on, a smile plastered on his face, and takes the beer offered to him.

"Hey," Lisa says, her arm slipping around his waist casually, "All good?"

Dean flashes that same fake smile at her as he flicks the cap off the bottle with well-practiced ease.

"Yeah, all good."

She pretends she doesn’t feel the slight tremor that runs through Dean’s body when he takes the first mouthful.

END

[seddm]

Seddm’s Top 10 Greatest Starco Moments

Long post under the cut, moments in chronological order, not a ranking

Blood Moon Ball - as usual, I don’t list this episode as a fundamental Starco moment for the dance (even though it’s super nice and fancy and the music is perfect), but the talk on the balcony. In this moment Marco truly shows that he understand Star, who she is as a person, and that he’s ready to swallow his pride for the sake of their friendship. Star bares her vulnerabilities, for the first time she (even if not directly) admits that not being trusted by the people she cares about hurts her greatly, that she doesn’t want to feel like a little kid who has to be protected and told what to do, and Marco understands that he overstepped his boundaries as a friend and tried to act more like a “parent”. This became EVEN more important in recent times, since The Knight Shift indirectly put importance on both parts of a relationship being equals (both get their capes, both are “knights” in their friendship).

This sets the mood for their relationship as a whole, Marco is going to always be at her side, and especially during the rest of S1 and S2 he’s often going to advise her, teach her things, but he’s never going to put himself over her level, he’s always going to be a friend talking to a friend, helping her figure things out on her own (the best example is Mewnipendence Day, where he spends the whole episode gently nudging her toward realizing how unfair her people have been to monsters for centuries, without straight out telling her “Your people racist!”).

Storm the Castle - the episode that suddenly turned up the stakes of the series, and the one that forced Star and Marco to face an “adult” for the first time (no Ludo doesn’t count), a new world for them. The episodes opens up with the duo arguing for the first time in the series over Star being too immature and reckless in her pursue of fun at all costs. Star values her and Marco’s lives less than a sandwich.

By the end of the episode she doesn’t hesitate in valuing Marco’s life more than the wand, one of the most powerful and precious items in the universe.

Their hug is still one of the warmest and most intimate in the series, with their eyes and body language screaming “We need this”. Star lost a lot (or so she thought, obviously the wand was back soon after), but she didn’t lose Marco, and their bond got strengthened even more. Cleaved apart, cleaved together.

Mr. Candle Cares - this is the first episode that makes it clear just how special Marco is to Star compared to everyone else in her life. After a whole episode spent having a panic attack over her future, feeling like she was trapped in something she didn’t choose and didn’t want, Marco’s words are enough to snap her out of it, and help her find her identity back. 

Obviously this is outdated compared to the current arc about choices and free will, but at this point of the season this was what Star absolutely needed to hear, to know that just because being Queen was set in stone in her future, it didn’t mean she had to follow the example of previous rulers, or her mother’s. She could be her own person, Star Butterfly. Without having to change her look and style. Nor maiming a mermaid. 

Bonus point for the dork stopping in the middle of a ping pong game for his life to smile over the thought of how much he admires and likes Star’s unique personality (admittedly Tom then chimes in saying her likes it too, even if it infuriates him at time, but this is a post about Starco moments so shush).

Star Vs Echo Creek - an underwhelming episode that apparently doesn’t change anything in Star, but it shows a huge contrast with her early self which. S1 Star would have done literally anything to keep her freedom intact, to the point of getting paralyzed by fear at the mere mention of St. Olga. In this episode, after some moments of self realization, she saw going to jail as a preferable alternative to never being able to see Marco again.

Obviously this moment is larger than Starco - it’s a sign of maturity for Star overall, a first step toward being able to take hard decisions that might damage herself for the good of others (from Toffee to trying to change Mewni to helping Eclipsa), but as many moments of growth, especially in the first two seasons, it begins with Marco.

Starcrushed - the whole episode. It uses Starco as a way to give Star the ultimate push she needed to go from the princess who used to run away from all responsibilities and unpleasant duties, to the princess who blew herself up to stop Toffee and who dedicated almost a year of her life to changing Mewni. And her love for Marco (in a broad sense, at this point of the series she wasn’t IN LOVE with Marco yet) ultimately leads her to confess her crush. She could have left without saying anything, it would have been easier both on her and Marco, but she couldn’t leave with what could have been the last thing she ever told Marco being a lie.

Honesty and communication are fundamental to their relationship, even if sadly it has always been hard for both of them to always fully be honest about their feelings. But they always try, even if it usually takes half a season, and in this case Star tried.

Also it has Marco being super depressed over things being weird with Star while trying to convince himself that he has suuuuch a deep bond with Jackie, which is frustrating and explains why it took him until Lava Lake Beach to begin understanding things, but it’s also sweet and meaningful.

Night Life - it literally has Marco telling Star that the things he likes the most is keeping her safe, even if at the time just being at her side brought unpleasant feelings. 

Also, while it’s not framed as something sweet in the context of the episode since it’s in situations of frustration, it’s just one of the many instances of S3 showing just how necessary Marco is to Star - not just as a practical help, but as a moral one, as the one person who can help her navigate through her life.

And the first person who comments something like “Star is a nagging wife who bosses Marco around!” gets a slap in the face and a link to this.

Booth Buddies - I really don’t think I have to say anything about this episode. Sure, it didn’t lead to changes nearly as much as I hoped, it took until Curse of the Blood Moon for Star’s feelings to be relevant, but it’s still an outstanding episode that has all the emotional intimacy that makes Star special to me. It’s the talk on the balcony in Blood Moon Ball, squared.

It’s the payoff to a season worth of tension, and it tells us that NO, THEIR RELATIONSHIP CAN’T GO BACK TO SIMPLE FRIENDSHIP (not even with the curse bullshit). Things are different, their feelings and their friendship are one and the same.

Divide - ‘Nuff said. Obviously the hug in Conquer is even more powerful in a way, it truly shows how important Star is to Marco, and how lost she’d be without him, but the one in Divide, in this calmer context, is a better example of the core of Star and Marco’s relationship, a friendship based on mutual trust and help.

Curse of the Blood Moon - I made a whole post about the dance scene in this episode so I’m just going to link it. But for brevity: Star and Marco enter the severing stone with the intention to break the curse and rid themselves of unwanted feelings, but as soon as they start dancing they forget every other problem and distraction, losing themselves in their happiness, and they understand that they cherish those feelings, that they are painful but worth being felt, as Eclipsa told Marco, and that they’d love to act on them but it’s too late now.

One minute of being alone and they fell in love.

The Knight Shift - I don’t like making rankings, but this would easily be the number 1 Starco episode in the show. It’s perfect, it has everything, from Star being distraught at the idea of Marco leaving Mewni (even if this wouldn’t have meant not seeing him again, obviously), to Star and Marco knowing that they had to talk with the other even if the subject was unpleasant, to Star recognizing Marco’s individuality and giving him his spaces. But obviously THE Starco moment is the one at the end, the one that shows the utter commitment they have for each other more than any other.

In this episode Marco thinks about his life and what he wants to do in the future, and he realizes that he doesn’t want to forever commit himself to a single knight task, not yet at least, he wants to do other things, explore, find his own goal in life. But he doesn’t hesitate a moment in making Star his lifelong post. 

The episode was only platonic in universe, obviously, but this is the essence of Star and Marco’s relationship: commitment. Something that lacked from any other romantic relationship in the show. This is the closest we can probably get to a wedding, Marco and Star essentially promise that they’ll spend their lives at the other’s side in this moment. Also, as a minor note, this moment made Star and Marco truly equal: not princess and boy, not queen and squire, but two friends with a badass cape reminding them that their friendship is the most important things they have.

The heart on the capes, their love, is quite literally made up by their special moments as friends. Friendship as the only solid basis for long lasting, deep, committed love.

BONUS MOMENT

Beach Day - pure happiness. Nothing more. Just having all the fun they can, together.

[msjr0119]

Forgive me

Part 1- Meeting you Continued

Returning to the living area of the suite, she saw him sat on the couch. Hearing her presence he stood up, turning towards her he couldn’t stop admiring how sexy she looked wearing his top. Gulping, he couldn’t stop gawking her. Riley noticed him staring, she was doing the same.

“I think it’s a bit big for me your highness. Maybe I should pack a spontaneous overnight bag in the future. It smells gorgeous. You and Leo have the same taste in aftershave.” She winked at him, twirling around.

“You can keep it. I have plenty. I’ll give you the aftershave- to remind you of Leo.”

“Heh. Thanks. But I’m okay. I have a lot of memories. I’m going to settle down and get some sleep. Night, Liam.”

As she brushed passed him, their hands touched- it felt as if a bolt of electricity had passed through his veins. “Riley?”

“Yes?” Before he responded he wrapped his arms around her tiny frame. Their breaths in unison- leaning down towards her, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

Breaking the kiss, they both remained in silence. I’m sorry, he whispered. Don’t be, she responded.

Holding her tightly, he didn’t know what he was doing. She was the mother of his nephew, the wife of his deceased brother. But he needed her. The one person who helped her brother live his life to the fullest.

“Goodnight, Liam.” Riley knew that he was attractive even without his title, but her only priority was Lucas- and to help Liam grieve over Leo. Nothing more.

I want to hold her, I want to kiss her more. I don’t want a social season. I want to bring her and Lucas back to Cordonia.

******

Liam’s alarm began to buzz at 7am- he was always an early riser. Quickly knocking it off snooze- he didn’t want to disturb Riley. Tossing and turning through the night, he barely slept- his eyes looked like piss holes in the snow. Ringing for food service- he ordered everything on the menu as he wasn’t sure what type of food Riley had a preference for. He also added extra coffee to the order, to get through he day he required a ton of caffeine. Quickly getting dressed, he checked on Riley. She was the definition of sleeping beauty.

The food arrived promptly, placing it on the table he decided to shower quickly. Due to the noise of the running water, he didn’t hear the knock on the door- that awoke Riley from her slumber. Walking to the door still half asleep, she answered yawning and rubbing her eyes.

“Drake?”

“Good morning to you too. I think you should erm cover up a bit.”

“Shit!” Riley felt embarrassed, wishing she had just ignored the knock. Not understanding why she would answer the door when she was a guest. Tightening the grip on the shirt, she had hoped that Drake wasn’t planning on staying and that it was just a quick social call.

“I didn’t hear you two... you know.” Drake laughed, he believed Liam could be a charmer when he needed to be- but to have a one night stand wasn’t usually the ‘good princes’ forte.

“You know what?” Riley provides a perplexed expression to the man who was just stood smirking at her.

“Well you’re wearing Liam’s top, and you are in your underwear.”

“No shit Sherlock. I didn’t intend on staying. And we only kissed. Nothing more. And it won’t be anything more. He’s grieving.”

“You kissed? And if you say so. I saw the sparkle in his eyes. Let us know what your plans are, so I can inform Bastien.”

*****

Liam finished his shower, wearing a towel around his waist- he was shocked to see Riley sat up. She had bed hair, but Liam couldn’t help think that she was still beautiful.

“Sorry Riley I didn’t mean to wake you.” Turning her head, she smiled softly at him.

“You didn’t. Drake did.”

“Oh?”

“Yes he wanted to know your plans so he could inform Bastien.”

“I’ll ring Bastien. I wasn’t sure what you liked to eat- so ordered a feast.”

“I can see. Thank you.”

They ate surrounded by quietness, the birds were tweeting outside. Riley got dressed in her clothes from the previous night- feeling like a dirty stop out.

Liam didn’t want to impose on Bastien driving them places- he informed him that he would be safe and would be contactable if he was required.

Arriving at Riley’s apartment, Liam was shocked at how small it was. Whilst Riley got dressed, she told him to make himself at home. Looking on the wall, his heart sunk- there were photos of Leo. Their ‘fake’ wedding day, Leo holding a newborn Lucas, a picture with their friends- the smile on Leo’s face. A smile that told a million different stories.

“Are you ready to meet your nephew?” Riley asked, whilst placing her hair in a lose bun.

“Erm yes. I do have one question though. Did he do it here?” She followed his gaze, which was viewing the photos hanging on the wall.

“No. He did it in our penthouse, I couldn’t still live there. The memories, it’s traumatic. Come on. Beth’s waiting.”

Riley grabbed his hand leading them out of the apartment. Liam couldn’t begin to wonder how he would feel finding someone he loved in that situation- whilst in the apartment, he couldn’t stop looking at the photo of their wedding day. She looked beautiful even with the fake smiles, Leo looked dapper- no one would believe that it was all a sham.

*****

Beth opened the door, looking like shit. She was shocked that there was a handsome stranger at her door, stood behind Riley. She wondered if her best friend had finally met someone- she was slightly annoyed that Riley didn’t elaborate on the phone what had happened the prior night.

“About time! This little one has missed his momma and Auntie Beth needs to catch up on her sleep.” She stated before yawning over dramatically.

“Sorry Beth. Erm, this is Liam. Leo’s brother.”

“Nice to meet you Beth.” He took her hand, leading it to his lips and softly kissed it- the Prince Charming gesture.

“You too Liam. Get out! I need sleep. See you later, Ri.”

Beth passed Lucas over to Riley who was still asleep. Placing him in his buggy, he looked snug as a bug in a rug. Liam stared at the little boy with admiration, his heart filled with joy.

“So the walk to the park is about 20minutes. Can you hack that your highness? Or are you that used to being chauffeured around?”

“Hey cheeky! I walk. Sometimes.” Liam knew she was being sarcastic but not in a nasty way. He nudged her, as his eyes sparkled.

“That’s hard to believe.” She smirked at him, in a flirtatious manner. They continued to walk at a slow pace, Liam taking in the scenery surrounding them.

Arriving at the pond via a shop for bread, Lucas was still fast asleep. They sat on the wooden bench, people watching. Riley’s heart sunk, seeing parents feeding the ducks with their children. Knowing that Lucas wouldn’t have that opportunity anymore.

“He must have been awake most of the night, he never sleeps for this long.” Riley said as she made sure he was warm enough, wrapping the blanket around him.

“He’s adorable Riley. He’s going to charm all the girls when he’s older.”

“He definitely is. I wish Leo was here to see him grow up.”

They both remained in silence, waiting for the little boy to wake up. Liam placed his arm around Riley. She was gazing up towards the clear blue sky- he believed she was looking up towards Leo.

“He will be looking down on him- on all of us I hope. I think he’s waking up.”

“Hey buddy. There’s someone Mommy wants you to meet.” Picking him up from his buggy, she sat him on her lap. His wide eyed baby blues fixated on the stranger sat next to them.

“Lucas, this is your uncle Liam. Say hi.” She waved, encouraging the boy to copy which he did.

“Hi.” Liam held his hand, his heart fluttered as Lucas tightened his grip.

“Hi buddy.”

“Do you... erm. Do you want to hold him?”

Liam nodded, he was unsure of how to hold him to begin with but natural instinct took over. Lucas snuggled into his uncles embrace. Stroking his head, Liam was filled with emotions. This unconditional bond he could have with his nephew would have been non existent if Drake didn’t stumble across Riley’s bar.

“He’s perfect. I love him already. Riley, you’ve done an amazing job.”

“It’s been hard. But he’s my priority - always will be.”

“I... I... I was thinking last night.” He’s been thinking about the kiss- it was a mistake. A one off. Shit.

“Liam, it’s fine. That kiss it was a one off. I understand, you’re grieving. You don’t have to explain yourself.”

“I wasn’t going to talk about that. I am sorry if I offended you with that gesture.” He gulped. “I don’t want to have a social season. I don’t want to be in a loveless marriage. I know it’s my duty, my responsibility. But I believe I can rule with or without a Queen. I know that Leo, would have wanted me to be able to make my own decisions. And I’m starting with that now. I was considering asking you if you’d both return to Cordonia with us. Leo would want you both to be supported and cared for. I’m willing to do that with everything in me.”

[raysofcrosby]

UNCONDITIONALLY

"𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴.  𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴." – 𝙐𝙣𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙣

𝘨𝘪𝘧 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵 (𝘹)

𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥: yes | no

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨(𝘴): nope.

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 3,382

𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤: make you feel by love by adele

𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦: sorry this took so long to post, this past weekend has been a huge pain in my ass and life’s been rough, but the fluff in this has been a good distraction. i hope you this doesn’t suck too bad lmao enjoy and request! :)

Today was supposed to be good– great even. You had it all planned out since last night: get off of work early and set up a nice evening in for you and Johnny. Just a little something you wanted to do for your boyfriend of two years since you could see just how big of a toll the playoffs were having on him. You'd felt guilty, not truly being there for him like most of the other WAGs from the team were. Almost five games into the playoffs and you'd only been able to go to one. You felt like a shitty fan and an even shittier girlfriend as the games went on.

You even spent one night crying to Johnny about how sorry you were for missing so many games. Johnny being Johnny, of course, told you that it was okay and that he knew you would be there if you could. And the main reason that you weren't able to go, was your chauvinistic and narcissist of a boss. He'd been the one to overturn your already approved, early dismissal because of something your equally as talented co-worker could handle– but he wanted you to do it instead– "just because." The one who frequently kept you and your co-workers, some who had kids and families to go home to, late at work just to work on a project, months in advance– and then leave 30 minutes later for a dinner date that he "couldn't refuse."

Every game these playoffs, you'd put in extra hours, worked hard and ahead of schedule, just so you had the hours backed up so your boss literally couldn't complain about you missing work...but he always found a loophole to prevent you from leaving.

Until today.

Today, you stood your ground and left work early– stating that there was nothing he could do since your hours had been approved, and when he tried to argue otherwise, you left. In professional terms, you put in your two weeks notice and got the hell out of there. But there was no doubt in your mind that he'd have you come in. And while the initial fact of you no longer having a job put a huge damper on the day– you wouldn't let it affect everything you'd had planned for Johnny. You could still hear the sadness in his voice when he said goodbye to you this morning...

You were thrilled when the Flames made it into the playoffs. Seeing how hard the boys worked all season start to pay off gave you the strength to make it through the days with your horrible boss. But as the playoffs went on and the odds began to go against the Flames– you knew that you had to do something for Johnny. So with the rest of your day free and Johnny out with the team all day– you went shopping.

Taking a step back, you admired the fort that you had set up in the living room of your shared apartment. You don't consider yourself to be a LaurDIY kind of person– but Pinterest aided you in creating the best movie watching fort that your furniture could support. Looking at the clock on the microwave, you knew that Johnny would be home at any moment. Dinner was already prepped and in the oven, still needing to cook for 30 more minutes until it was ready to be served. All that was left to do was set up his relaxing bath.

Walking down the hall to your master bath, you couldn't help but feel loved as you passed by all of the photos of your two years with Johnny hanging up on the walls. From vacations, hockey games, concerts and even the little home moments– they showed just how loving of a relationship that the two of you had. One, that almost never happened if it weren't for your best friend, her now husband...and strangely enough, one of Johnny's teammates. Her husband works as a manager in their media department and when it came time for the Flames annual charity gala, he had to work most of it, and your best friend didn't want to go alone– so she scored you a ticket.

Your endgame for the evening was to just linger in the background while munching on the free food and drinking all the booze they had to offer, but she had other plans in mind. She introduced you to everyone under the room at that gala that she could find– except for Johnny. You had found him all alone when you were hiding from her over by the buffet table. You had both reached for the last piece of some chocolate mousse cake and insisted the other have it so they didn't have to wait for the staff to bring out more. You suggested to split it, but before Johnny could even pick up the last piece, his teammate, who you'd come to know as Sean Monahan, swiped it and patted Johnny on the shoulder with a grin before walking away.

You two spent the rest of the night talking and when it came time to leave, you, your best friend and her husband were chased down by Sean, insisting to get your number for Johnny since– "he has literally zero game, so I'm helping him out." And the rest was history. Not like you could ever forget it since every year around gala time, your best friend and Sean remind you both about how your relationship is all thanks to them. They weren't wrong though. Without them, you doubt you'd be as happy in love as you are with Johnny.

You walked up to the bathtub and closed the drain, then started running the hot water. You lit the two candles that rested on the corner of the outside of the tub, already feeling relaxed at the immediate scent of vanilla and lavender. Sitting on the edge of the tub, you poured some Epsom salt into the water, using your hand to mix it around. You reached up towards the counter and grabbed the lush bag, pulling out the vibrant purple bath bomb Johnny had come to love but denied it whenever you guys went shopping– the Sex bomb. He claimed that he liked it for the colors and the jasmine smell, but you knew that he liked it solely based on the fact that he was a 25-year-old male and it was literally called 'the Sex bomb.'

"What are you doing?"

You squealed, almost falling into the bathtub but catching yourself on the counter edge before turning around to see Johnny. "Holy shit, you scared me to death."

He chuckled softly as he made his way over to the bathtub. "Sorry, I figured you were in the bath so I didn't call out for you."

"Sounds like something a serial killer would do," you joked, standing up and wrapping your arms around his neck. "How was practice."

Immediately, you could tell that all he wanted to do was let his shoulders fall and let his body sink into yours. Instead, he took shallow breaths and kept himself up straight. "Fine."

You raised an eyebrow and brought one hand to the left side of his face. Your fingers traced over his temple before coming to a rest on his cheek. "Come on Johnny, it's me..."

His eyes focused on you, taking in your face as if to see if you could hold up every ounce of emotion that he was about to pour on you. When they stilled, he closed them and wrapped his arms around your waist, leaning down and burying his face into the crook of your neck. "It sucked. It really fucking sucked."

The reality of their chance at advancing into the second round must have crashed into his hard based on the bubbling of his voice as he mumbled into your neck. "Sshh, it's okay J." You whispered, running your right hand through his hair as he totally relaxed into you. "And who knows, maybe you guys can come back and win it all."

He mumbled something incoherently into your shoulder and stood back up, looking down at you with a sad smile. "You always look on the bright side of things and I love you for that you know."

"I know," you cradled his face and kissed him softly, pressing your forehead to his. "Now strip naked and get into the tub."

His head fell back as he let out a genuine, from the gut laugh before looking at you again. "Well, that's one way to get my attention." His hands slid underneath your borrowed shirt, resting at the small of your back as his thumbs rubbed against your skin. "Will you be joining me in this bath?"

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. "And steal the sex bomb from you? No way," you patted his chest as you stepped back from him. "All yours buddy boy, I'll be in the kitchen finishing dinner."

Before you could reach the door, you felt his fingers wrap around your wrist, preventing you from moving. When you turned around, you could see that in the few seconds it took for you to get away from him– he had already tossed his shirt off to the side and stepped out of his sweats. "Please stay?"

"This is supposed to be a relaxing bath for you," you sighed, motioning towards the candles. "And cramping two people into a tub doesn't exactly scream, relaxation to me."

He let his eyebrows furrow as he stuck out his bottom lip. It was a look you knew all too well, and one that he pulled off perfectly. The way he was able to guilt people into doing something by looking like you just ran over his puppy's tail...was remarkable. "Please?"

You stood there, chewing on the inside of your cheek and contemplating whether or not to get into the tub. You had to admit, it was hard resisting jumping into the water when you were getting his bath ready and right now, Johnny isn't making it any easier. "How long did the timer on the stove say?"

He smiled and stripped off his boxers, standing up straight and in the nude. "15 minutes, which is perfect."

"Perfect for absolutely nothing," you stripped out of your shirt and shorts as Johnny sunk into the tub, watching you stand by the edge. "If I get into this tub, you are not and I repeat, not getting lucky."

He smiled, the gleam in his eyes almost seemed as if they were challenging you, but instead, he nodded in agreement. "With you by my side, I'm already the luckiest man in the world."

You undid your bra and peeled off your panties, stepping into the tub and sitting down across from him. "And incredibly cheesy."

He just smiled and lowered his arms into the water, grabbing onto your feet and pulling your legs towards him. He rested your feet onto his stomach as he focused on one foot, massaging it. When you raised your eyebrows to question him, he just shook his head. "You treat me, I treat you. We're equals, Y/N."

"But this night was supposed to be all about you. The bath with your favorite bath bomb. Your favorite dinner and a cool ass looking fort, perfect for watching your...interesting taste in movies."

His knuckle dug deep into the arch of your foot, causing you to moan and him to smile. "I'm fully offended because ‘The Hangover’ is a fantastic movie franchise."

"Yeah, if the second and third never existed."

He dropped your foot into the water with a plop before picking up the other one. "How was work today? You seem kind of...I don't know, off. Was Dicky being a total chode again?"

You threw back your head and laughed as you sunk further into the tub. "His name is Ricky and just because you used a different word, doesn't mean you can covertly say the word dick, twice in a sentence."

"Just answer the question."

"I'll be at the game tomorrow..." you bit your bottom lip as he put more pressure on the heel of your foot, contemplating whether or not to share your news. "And every game after that if you make it into the second round because I quit."

He stopped massaging your foot and stared at you. No emotion on his face, just a deadpan stare. Then a few seconds later, he started massaging your foot again and shrugged his shoulders. "It's about damn time."

You poked his chest with your free foot and glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, that you and I both know that company and that asshole Ricky, didn't deserve your talents," He held onto your other foot and tapped the tops of both feet. "I know how unhappy you were there and that you were already looking for other jobs, so now you don't have to stress about Ricky Dicky while doing so."

You brought your feet back into the water and tucked your legs to your chest, resting your chin on top of your knees. "God, I really wanted to just yell at him and deck him in the face today."

Johnny scooted closer to you, his legs on either side of your hips as he combed back the hair that had fallen in front of your face. "Wanna know a secret?" When you nodded, he leaned in closer to your ear, "I kind of wish you would have." Then he pressed a kiss to your cheek before sliding back into his original position.

You smiled at him, about to say something else when the faint smell of smoke filled your nostrils. "Do you smell that?"

Johnny shook his head as he looked over towards the door, his nose up in the air and sniffing. "No?"

"It smells like..." Your eyes went wide as you looked back at Johnny. "Dinner!" You stood up fast, stepping out of the bathtub and out of the bathroom door. Your knee was throbbing from where you banged it on the counter, but that was nothing compared to the smoke that was coming from the oven. "Oh no, no, no, no."

You grabbed the oven mitts off of the counter and opened the stove, a big wave of dark smoke blowing into your face and up to the ceiling...triggering the smoke alarm. "Babe what–" Johnny appeared in the hall, a towel wrapped around his waist and another one in his hand. "Y/N, get away from there!"

He grabbed your elbow and pulled you towards him, wrapping the towel around your body as he reached for the fire extinguisher underneath the sink. "Johnny it's not–"

A white foam cloud erupted from the hose and into the stove, bringing the smoke to a minimal. He walked over to the windows off to the side, opening both of them to let the smoke out of the apartment. When he was done, you walked over to the stove, picking up the now burnt and covered in white foam, chicken breasts that were supposed to be dinner. Sighing, you placed the pan into the sink as Johnny came over, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his chin on your shoulder. "Pizza?"

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

"Oh come on Y/N lighten up," Johnny groaned, rolling onto his side and poking at you. "I've already apologized about the timer thing."

You looked at him from the corner of your eyes before looking back at the tv in front of you. The box of pizza was resting on the floor in front of you both and the Hangover franchise had turned into a Friends Netflix marathon since the DVD's were in Matthew's possession. "I'm lightened, thank you."

"Really?" He leaned himself up onto his elbows and paused the episode. "Because I know for a fact that you go all googly-eyed over Joey every time he opens his mouth and all you've done so far is mumble every time he's opened his mouth."

You mentally cursed yourself for giving away the fact that you were still upset about dinner being burned. It came to be that the timer on the stove was faulty and had turned off, showing the temperature– 415. How Johnny misread it, you didn't know. You were still reeling over the embarrassment of the fire department showing up at your door to listen to him explain. You weren't mad at him in any way, if anything, you were upset with yourself because nothing had gone according to plan.

Today was a total shit show from the beginning and you wished you could take it all back and start over.

"Y/N..." Johnny whispered, scooting closer to you and wiping his thumb along your cheek. "Baby, why are you crying?"

"I'm not," you mumbled, technically telling the truth since you didn't know you had even started to cry. Johnny looked at you with a 'you better tell me or so help me God' look and you sighed. "I'm just...I wanted today to be perfect."

"But Y/N–"

"No! Ever since last night when you got back from Colorado and talked about the game, I could just hear how sad you sounded. So I planned this night perfectly. A perfect, relaxing bath. A perfect dinner and a perfect blanket fort," Your fingers gripped the pillow beneath you as you aired our your frustrations.

 "You've been so stressed lately and so sad, I just wanted to do something to make you happy and I ruined the bath, burnt the stupid chicken and those stupid movies are with stupid Matthew." You tossed the pillow aside and it hit one of the support for the blankets, causing your fort to come tumbling down. "Oh great, AND I ruined the fort."

Silence overtook you both as you laid there, buried beneath the blankets and separated from each other. Then, a loud laugh came from Johnny. You threw the blankets back to reveal him lying on his back and clutching his stomach, laughing so hard that his eyes were closed shut. When you went to stand up, he stopped you, bringing you into his side as he calmed down. "I'm not laughing at you, I promise."

"Really? Cause it kind of feels like that's exactly what you're doing."

He chuckled again, turning his head to you and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "This night might not have gone according to plan, Y/N...but to me, it was everything I needed. Sure, you turned me down for bathtub sex, ran after a burning meal...butt naked, " his eyes took in the fallen fort and he smiled. "And you definitely did some damage to the fort, but none of that matters because I know your intentions were good and pure and that they came from the heart...it's why I love you."

"I love you too," you sighed as he cradled your face again, brushing away another stray tear as you smiled and laughed a little. "I really did run into the kitchen butt naked, didn't I?"

His smile overtook his face as he nodded, his thumb rubbing against your temple. "Yeah, but at least the blinds were closed so no one got a free show, just me."

You smacked his chest before leaning in and giving him a kiss. He peppered your lips, with smaller kisses before sighing and letting you lay down onto his chest. "Sorry for ruining your blanket fort..."

"It's okay, though I was kind of hoping I'd get at least a little lucky in it."

You sat yourself up and tugged on a blanket, wiggling your eyebrows. "Who says we still can't?"

Johnny smiled and got up onto his knees, shoving the pizza box away before wrapping his arms around your waist and tackling you into the pile of blankets and kissing you once more. "God, I love you." He mumbled against your lips, leaning over you. "How did I get so lucky?"

"The gala ran out of chocolate mousse cake...."

"Guess I should thank the staff then," he smiled and kissed you again before standing up and pulling you up with him. "Come on, we've got a sexy fort to build."

[sgtcalhouns]

Strangers, Ch. 2

Felix opens up to Ralph about the emotional toll his situation is taking on him, but there are some problems that even a good cry can’t solve.

Felix squinted against the early morning light that slipped through the cracks in the blinds. He snuggled up closer to Tamora, burrowing his face into her chest to block out the offending brightness. 

“Not a fan of the sun today, hm?” Tamora’s sleepy voice mumbled as her arms tightened around his shoulders.

He shook his head.

“I just want to stay right here,” he replied. 

“You don’t want to get up and go seize the day?” she teased.

“Not today,” he said. “Nothing I could do today would be better than what I’m doing right now.”

“Then let’s do it,” she suggested. “Let’s just stay here in bed. I didn’t feel like dealing with people today, anyway.”

“That sounds perfect,” he smiled, worming his way even closer to her.

They fell into a comfortable silence, content to stay wrapped up in each other and appreciate the cozy comfort of their bed. Tamora’s fingers sifted gently through his hair, soothing him into a state of such relaxation that she was convinced he had fallen back asleep.

“I love you,” he murmured before drifting off. She smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“I love you, too.”

“Felix?”

Ralph’s voice shook Felix from the memory, forcing him back into the present. Reality assaulted his senses, reminding him that he was not in bed with his loving wife, but in his living room with Ralph, attempting to mend the pieces of his broken life.

“You doin’ alright there, buddy?”

Felix nodded. His larger companion could see the distant look in his eyes, though, and would not be fooled so easily.

“You don’t have to put up a front with me. I know this has gotta be hard,” Ralph said. “How are you really holding up?”

“Not so good, brother,” Felix admitted, his eyes damp. “It’s been two weeks, and still, nothing. Two weeks since I kissed her, or held her hand, or told her I love her. I don’t know what to do.”

“Have you talked to her about how it’s making you feel?” Ralph asked.

“No. She’s got enough on her plate finding out all her memories of the last four years are gone, livin’ with someone she doesn’t recognize,” Felix explained. “It wouldn’t be fair for me to make her feel guilty about any of that. It’s not her fault.”

“You know you’re gonna have to talk to her about it eventually,” Ralph said.

“I know. I’ve been trying to talk to her about our life together, but it’s so hard,” Felix sniffled. “Every time I try, it just reminds me that that’s not the way things are anymore. After the first couple days, I thought maybe we could recreate our first date to try and jog her memory.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t’ve been, but nothing went the way I planned. The restaurant closed down last month. We found the sweater she wore that night in the back of her closet, but it had been eaten up by moths, and the daisies I brought her are out of season.” 

Finally, his tears got the best of him, and he broke down crying, burying his face in his hand. When he managed to speak again, his voice was strained by the weight of his grief. 

“It was all wrong.”

“I’m sorry, buddy,” Ralph said, attempting to console his friend with a pat on the back. 

“On top of everything else, I feel so ungrateful. She could’ve died in that accident, but she didn’t. She’s still here, and I should be grateful for that,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “But it still feels like I lost her.”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with feeling that way,” Ralph said. “You didn’t lose her, but you lost the life you had before. It’s okay to be sad about that. But that doesn’t mean everything’s over for you.”

“How? How could it not be over for me?” He began to lose control of his emotions, breathing heavily as he tried to calm himself down. “I built my whole life around her and now she doesn’t even know who I am. She’s holding my heart in her hands and she doesn’t remember why.”

His body shook with convulsive sobs as he finally allowed the pain he had been holding inside to be set free.

“She looks at me like I’m some—some kind stranger she met on the street. Do you know how much that breaks my heart? And she doesn’t even realize it,” his voice was thick as he spoke through the lump in his throat. “I used to look at her and see it, see how much she loved me, but it’s gone now, because she can’t love someone she doesn’t even know.”

“Felix—”

“And the worst part—the worst part is I don’t know if her memories will ever come back. I don’t know if I can ever convince her to love me again, and I don’t know if she even wants me to try,” he cried. “But she is my wife and I made a promise to love her for the rest of my life, and I intend to keep it. I know I’ll never love anyone else the way I love her. So I have to keep trying, even if it tears me apart.”

“I’m not so sure this is healthy,” Ralph said.

“It’s not. But what choice do I have?” Felix said, finally gaining control over his breathing, although his tears could not be stopped. “What if I stop trying and let her go and then her memories come back? What if she finally remembers everything we’ve been through together after I gave up on her? Gave up on us?”

Ralph supposed he couldn’t argue with that. Still, he hated seeing his friend like this—Felix had always had such a positive outlook, Ralph was sure he had never seen him this upset before. It was clear that his situation was taking quite a toll on him, and there was no easy solution.

“Look, I know I must sound crazy,” Felix said. “But right now, the only thing keeping me going is the thought that one day she could love me again. She loved me once. I just have to remind her why.”

“I understand,” Ralph replied. “But please stop bottling everything up like this. Don’t feel like you have to take this on alone.”

Felix took a deep breath and sniffled as he wiped the tears from his eyes. 

“I’m sorry for dumpin’ all that on you,” he said. “I’ve been trying to stay strong, but it’s been hard keeping up appearances all the time. I don’t want to break down in front of her and make her feel like any of this is her fault.”

“Don’t apologize,” Ralph replied. “I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

“Thanks, brother,” he said, offering Ralph a weak smile. He glanced down at his watch. “Oh, I'd better go get cleaned up. Tamora’ll be home any minute and I don’t want her to see me like this.”

The pair said their goodbyes and Ralph left as Felix headed to the bathroom to freshen up. He splashed some cold water on his face, took a few deep breaths, and put on a brave face just in time for Tamora to return home. As he greeted her at the door, he tried his best to stamp down the ever-growing doubt that things would ever go back to the way they were before. Ever the optimist, he held onto the hope that, one day, she would love him again. He clung to that hope like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

And, deep down, it was.

[anxiousandanalytical]

It’s The Road You Choose (Nothing But My Friends Besides Me: TSS Pokemon AU)

The second in a series of related one-shots taking place in my Pokemon AU, Nothing But My Friends Besides Me, or NBMFBM! You can read the first part here! (Also, I messed around with how you get the Eeveeloutions for the sake of this story. You get all of them from stones now, like with the Gen1 Eeveeloutions.) Summary: The second semester at the Trainer’s School is finally over. Now it’s time for Virgil and his classmates Patton, Logan, Roman, Dee, Thomas and Remy to choose what their Eevees will evolve into. Of course, things are never that simple. Virgil POV, angst with a happy ending. Pairings: None yet, they’re still just kids :)

Warnings: Dee tells lies and is a jerk in a petty childish way, anxious thoughts/anxiety attacks, references to being orphaned/familial death, self-deprecation, sensory onslaught, Roman calls Virgil a name, Virgil hates Dee’s guts, food/drink mention, Virgil breaks down crying at one point Word Count: 2, 932 ~

“Congratulations, you seven! I’m pleased to announce that all of you have passed your second semester.” Professor Picani clapped his hands together. “The graduation ceremony will be on Thursday, as you know, so make sure you have all of your bags packed by then. It also means you all have a few days to consider, if you have not already, which form you will be evolving your Eevee into.”

Roman, Patton and Thomas burst into excited chatter the moment Picani stopped talking. The professor wisely let them have a moment before he clapped for their attention and they fell silent.

(Well, Roman nearly didn’t stop talking, but Logan kicked his chair and shot him a glare that could curdle Moo-Moo Milk, so he shut up.)

“One thing I should clarify is that, according to the school’s tradition, only one of you may pick a particular form.”

The class is suddenly completely silent.

“There will only be one of each evolution stone at the graduation. Your order will be randomly chosen, just like when you first choose your partners. Once one of the stones is gone, it is gone. However, since there is nine stones, even the trainer who goes last will have a choice of at least three different forms.”

Virgil sucked in a ragged breath as the classroom erupted into chaos around him. Roman was shouting. Patton was talking to Thomas. Logan was asking Picani if he could see who had placed in the top three spots in the course. Remy was complaining about something. At least two of the Eevees were barking.

Warm fur rubbed against Virgil’s leg as Stormy peered up at him with big, dark eyes, ears pricked forwards with worry. Letting out a shaky exhale, he let Stormy jump into his lap and curl up against him, sinking his fingers into soft grey fur as he counted out his breathing pattern under his breath. Somehow, Stormy always knew when his trainer was getting anxious and had swiftly settled into the additional role of an emotional support Pokemon not long after first bonding with Virgil.

“Good job, Virgil!” Patton sat on Virgil’s desk with enough force to make it rock a bit, making the emo’s head jerk up with shock.

“W-What?” He stutters, leaning away from Patton in an attempt at recovering his personal space.

“You placed third in the class, after me and Logan.” Thomas informed him with a small smile.

“Logan and I.” Logan corrected Thomas’ grammar from over his shoulder, still staring at the board where their final results were displayed.

Virgil blew his bangs out of his face (he didn’t like paying for haircuts often, they were too expensive) and scanned the board himself. Sure enough, he’d placed in the top half of the class, just below Thomas. Suck it, Roman.

“Cool.” He shifted his attention back to Stormy, who was pawing at his chest in an attempt to get more affection.

“So, what stone are you thinking of picking?” Thomas asks Patton, who perked up with a grin.

“The Shiny Stone! I really want a Sylveon.”

“You wanted Sylveon too? My dear Patton, you have good taste! I daresay it would suit you wonderfully.” Roman announced, standing on a chair. His own Eevee was perched on his outstretched arm, chirping excitedly.

“Oh, but Roman, if you want it I can pick something else-” Patton, bless his soft heart, tried to protest. Roman doesn’t let him get that far.

“Nonsense! Patton, should I have anything to say about it, that Shiny Stone is yours. I shall be equally content with the Fire Stone, to match my blazing passion!”

“The flamboyant and aggressive nature of a Fire type would suit you well, Roman.” Logan intoned, folding his hands behind his back.

“Ooh, Logan! What stone are you looking at picking?” Patton grinned, (finally!) hopping off of Virgil’s desk. The emo breathed a sigh of relief at the return of his personal bubble.

“The Dawn Stone. Espeon are graceful, calm and highly intelligent.” Logan explained. At his feet, Logan's own Eevee trilled happily, oversized ears twitching.

“What about you, Thomas?”

“I’m actually looking at the Everstone.” Thomas rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I just love my little guy so much and neither of us really want him to evolve.”

“Awww, that’s so cute, Thomas!” Patton squealed.

“And you, Remy?” Roman asked.

“I don’t know, gurl. Haven’t really thought about it, ya’know?”

“Oh! What about you, Virgil?” Patton asked.

Virgil bit his lip. None of the others had said they wanted the same Stone as him, so it should be fine, right?

“I want an Umbreon, so the Dusk Stone.”

“Of course you would want a Dark type, Para-morose.”

“Now Roman, be nice.” Patton chided gently.

“Did you know that a shiny Umbreon’s rings are blue instead of yellow?” Logan ignored them to address Virgil.

“Yeah, actually. I think it’s pretty cool.”

“Well then!” Roman pouted, turning the conversation away from Virgil. “What about you, Dee?”

“Oh, I’m not quite sure which stone I want just yet.” Dee told them. Something in Virgil’s gut felt cold as he listened to the other boy talk. “Now that I know which stones you all want, though, I’ll make sure to adjust my choices accordingly.”

Virgil shuffled further down into his seat, pulling Stormy closer to him. If there was one classmate he never wanted to see again after graduation, it was Dee. He was even worse than Roman. Knowing his luck, though, he'd encounter the filthy liar in every Pokémon Center he visited on his journey.

The day of graduation dawned bright and clear, a sharp contrast to the day they had picked their Pokemon partners. Virgil had spent days packing and unpacking his travel bags, doing his best to decide what he could afford to carry with him. He’d already sold off most of his books and school supplies, and he’d sell off more when he made it to a bigger city. Renting a storage space would be too expensive on his meager budget, so he would be carrying his life on his back.

Stormy pranced around his feet, enjoying the warm sunshine, nearly tripping Virgil several times as he made his way to the graduation ceremony. The weather was shaping up nicely this spring. Virgil prayed to every deity he could think of that the good weather would hold for his first seasons as a trainer. He liked the rain a lot better from inside.

The ceremony is only about an hour in all, but to Virgil it feels as though it should be dark outside by the time he escapes the stuffy heat and stares. The precious papers of certification are tucked safely into his bag, his only formal insurance against whatever the future might throw at him.

(He spends most of that hour trying to ignore the fact that nobody in the audience is there for him. He ignores the fact that the only camera flashing when he walks up to accept his diploma in the hired photographer for the event. He pretends it doesn’t hurt like an icy blade through his heart when the others all gleefully run off the stage into the waiting arms of parents and family and each other and he slips silently off into the background, all alone save for Stormy trotting at his heels and a lone tear on his cheek.)

And then it was time for them to pick their Evolution Stones.

Virgil shows up early, already fully packed and too nervous to linger over his last school-provided meal. He watches the others trail in, Remy clutching an iced coffee, Dee’s face carefully neutral and composed, Patton bouncing with barely contained anticipation. Professor Picani makes a brief speech explaining how the selection process works, but Virgil swears he can only hear buzzing in his ears. They all know the selection of evolution stones and their respective outcomes by heart by now, even Remy who barely scraped together a passing grade to graduate. Picani briefly chokes back some tears and says some cheesy lines about he thinks they’re one of the most memorable classes he’s ever taught (Virgil doubts Picani will remember his name in five months) but finally, finally, the time comes for the names to be picked, all seven boys leaning forwards in their seats like racehorses awaiting the start of a race.

“Thomas!” Picani announces, and the boy jumps out of his seat with an excited shout. He makes a dash for the door at the end of the hall, nearly tripping over his Eevee’s tail as he tosses an excited wave over his shoulder at the others.

“C’mon, buddy! I’ll see you guys later at the party!” And just like that, he’s gone.

Virgil doesn’t truly relax, per se, but he settles in for a long wait as Picani disappears into the room after Thomas. Roman brushes his Eevee’ fur, paying special attention to the heart-shaped pattern on her tail. Patton badgers Logan with questions about things he’s read, but Logan seems more than happy to talk about the intricacies of why ailments like confusion aren’t true status conditions. Remy stirs the ice in his drink, looking bored.

Logan’s name is drawn next, only about ten minutes after Thomas. Virgil keeps his anxiety at bay by reminding himself that both Thomas and Logan were dead-set on their choices and by stroking Stormy’s fur as he dozes in Virgil’s lap.

Roman goes next, giving Patton a high-five and a smile on his way out. Virgil tries to estimate the time- Thomas only took about ten minutes, but Logan must have taken fifteen.

Roman, of course, takes twenty-five.

Remy goes next, complaining to Picani about how all of the ice in his drink has long since melted as he leaves, and Virgil tries his best not to fidget too badly as Remy’s turn drags them well over the hour mark. He takes some small comfort in the fact that Patton too, can barely stay in his seat.

Dee is smirking. Virgil tries not to stare. The other boy is too calm, too smug, his hands folded neatly into his lap, his Eevee tucked into her Pokeball. It’s getting on Virgil’s nerves.

That smirk fades as Patton is called next. Dee refuses to look at Virgil for the twenty minutes it takes for Picani to reappear, and Virgil picks at his nails and does his best to staunchly ignore both his anxiety and his remaining classmate.

“Dee!” Picani reads the slip of paper aloud and Virgil’s breath get caught in his throat. Because Dee is smirking again, right at him, and Virgil knows with a sudden and chilling certainty that there won’t be a Dusk Stone left for Stormy.

It’s gone.

Of course it is. He knew it would be. He’d spent the last half an hour convincing himself that maybe it still would be, that he was overreacting, that maybe for once everything would be okay but of course it wasn’t-

Stormy lets out a sad whine at the sight of the three remaining stones set out on the table, pressing close against Virgil’s ankle. The emo wastes no time scooping up his partner into his arms. A sob catches in his throat, a horrible sound. Stormy buries his face into Virgil’s hoodie and Virgil buries his in Stormy’s monochromatic fur, shame and guilt welling up inside him. It doesn’t make any sense, there was nothing he could have done to stop it- but he can’t help feeling as though he’s failed his little Stormcloud, somehow. Gosh, he was always destined to screw up sooner or later, wasn’t he?

“Would you like some time alone?” Professor Picani asks, soft and quiet. The door back to the hall clicks shut softly behind him. Virgil can’t bring himself to respond, choking on sobs trying to escape. He makes a silent nod instead, hoping Picani couldn’t see the tears already staining his face.

“I’m sorry, Virgil. Graduation day is supposed to be exciting, and happy... I know you had your heart set on the Dusk Stone, but I can’t change school rules.”

Virgil just sniffed and nodded before sinking to his knees, feeling Stormy hiccup against his chest. Footsteps left the room, leaving them in relative silence except for Virgil’s quiet sobs and sniffles accompanied by Stormy’s tiny, pathetic mewls and whimpers.

It’s not fair. It’s never fair. It wasn’t fair that Virgil’s parents died and then his grandpa did too, leaving him alone to fend for himself. It wasn’t fair that Virgil had to worry over how much money he spent while the other kids went out for ice cream. It wasn’t fair that he had to worry about having a roof over his head, about his entire future, while the other kids complained about homework and chores. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair and it hurt and for once Virgil just wanted things to go his way. It wasn’t fair that he was walking bad luck, and it definitely wasn’t fair that Stormy got caught up in that, too.

They sat there for a long time as Virgil cried and cried until Stormy tried to lick the tears off Virgil’s cheek, which startled a laugh out of him. He tries to wipe the tears off Stormy’s back with the sleeve of his hoodie, but he’s pretty sure he just makes his grey fur stick up funny.

“I guess we’d better pick something, huh?” He said quietly, opening his arms to allow Stormcloud to step out to the ground. The shiny Eevee only snuggled in closer. Virgil huffed out a half-laugh and stood up, clutching his only friend to his chest.

“So we’ve got...” He scanned over the remaining stones, careful not to hold Stormy too close to any of them. “The Leaf Stone, Water Stone and Thunder Stone.”

He paused, trying to recall all he could about those specific evolutions. Try as he might, he couldn’t imagine which one he could possibly pick. He couldn’t even remember what their shiny variants looked like.

“This one’s yours, Stormy.” He murmured. The grey Eevee trilled at him, lifting his head a little more to peek out of Virgil’s arms.

“I mean, it’s your choice, right? I know we both wanted Umbreon, but that’s not going to happen, so... Leafeons are pretty calm, I think? Would you like that?” Stormy shook his head like he was ridding it of water, making no move to leave Vigil’s arms.

“Okaaaaay...” Virgil changed tactics. “Jolteon, then? They have a lot more energy, normally, but then you could be a lightning Storm. What do you think?”

Stormy pinned his ears back, claws digging into Virgil’s sleeves.

“Okay, okay. Do you want to be a Vaporeon then? I don’t know what the shiny version looks like, but you could be a rain Storm instead of a lightning Storm? Since we both like your name as it is...”

Stormy paused for a long moment, then stretched out one paw to tap on the container holding the Water Stone.

“Okay, hang on.” Virgil set his Eevee down, then opened the case and set the Water stone on the ground in front of him. “Here you go, buddy. All yours. I love you.”

The words slip out without him meaning to- he hasn’t spoken them in a long time, not since he lost his family, but it feels like it’s long overdue. Stormy deserves to hear them said.

He sits back on his heels and watches Stormy purr cheerfully at him one last time as an Eevee.

(Last night, he’d carefully clipped off a piece of Stormy’s soft grey fluff and tucked it into the pages of his journal, knowing he’d miss the softness and colour of it one day.) He was ready.

Stormy clearly was too, as he pressed one paw firmly down onto the evolution stone. His big eyes stare into the stone like it holds secrets he wants to learn, and Virgil watches until the growing light is so blinding he can’t anymore.

When the brilliant glow finally dissipates and Virgil blinks the stars out of his eyes, he can’t hold back his delighted gasp.

Stormy was purple.

Stormy pauses in inspecting the new webbing between his toes at the sound. He gives his new aquatic tail an experimental swish, and then launches himself at Virgil with a delighted cry.

The trainer lets out an OOF as his newly evolved Pokemon squashes the air out of his lungs. He’s not too much bigger yet, but he’s already heavier and stronger. Still, Virgil lets out a breathless chuckle as Stormcloud rubs his face against his trainer’s jaw. He runs his hands over Stormy’s back, scratching behind the ears, running his fingers along newly formed frills and fins.

“Look at how handsome you are.” Virgil would later never admit to cooing like an old lady with her Delcatty. “I’m so proud of you. You... you made a great choice.”

So maybe Vaporeon hadn’t been his first choice. So what? The universe seemed to like doing that to him. He didn’t want to be orphaned, or to have to pin all his hopes at a decent future on Trainer School, but he’d made it this far.

And sure, maybe soon he was going to shake Professor Picani’s hand and walk out into the dangerous world with no human soul to back him up-

But he’s always going to have Stormy by his side. And right now, he’s pretty sure he couldn’t ask for more.

~

Taglist: @luckypatton​ @snartalacarte @littleladynightshade @your-dm-shy