#but it seemed like a good place to start? if I can't handle myself I'm not going to get anything out of the other books I want to read

[girlscience]

I just finished my first non-fiction book in probably years. It was 277 pages long. I can read a fiction book that short in about 2 and a half hours. This took me 3 months to complete. I do wish I was faster with non-fiction, I've got a huge list of science and political and historical books I want to read, but I have to remember these books require more brain power so it's not bad they take longer. The learning is important not the time.

[misshugs]

Is this what you wanted to see? || Colby Brock x Reader

You thought it was just going to be another funny, intriguing investigation with the guys, but things went south real quick. Whatever was in this hotel, didn't like you.

warnings: gore/blood, cursing, violent paranormal activity, reader getting attacked by ghosts, seeing shit that's not there (aka, being a bit of a medium), angst?

a/n: the story is fictional, therefore, the place/video that I based the story from, is not real.

word count: 2k

[u n e d i t e d]

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"What's up guys! It's Sam and Colby. Today, we're standing right infront of one of the most haunted hotels in America..." Colby began.

The frame of my body visible to the camera as they continued their intro. I threw a tiny wave when they called out my name to the camera.

At this point I'm so used to all of this that Colby doesn't even need to ask if I'm okay with it anymore, although he still does, which I love about him.

We've been dating for months now and I swear that I'm just falling deeper in love every day. I didn't even notice myself staring lovingly at him throughout their intro to the point they had to shake me out of it.

"You good?" Nate asked, I looked up at him and nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, just zoned out for a little bit, my bad." I smiled at him and he nodded.

"Just making sure."

"You guys ready?" Sam asked, looking at us.

"Yessir!" Nate responded.

"As I'll ever be." I added.

"We'll see you guys inside." Colby said back to the camera and turned it off. He looked back at us and smiled. "So, shall we?"

"We shall." I responded, laughing slightly as I got closer to him and walked inside with them. While they weren't looking, I felt a short kiss on my cheek coming from him, which just made me smile wider.

God, I love him.

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While we were all walking through a corridor, I looked back and saw an employee with a tray of food. He saw me and I nodded with a smile at him as a kind gesture. He smiled and nodded back. I looked back at the boys, only to slightly look back for a second and then completely looking back in shock.

There was no one there. It would've been impossible for someone to run and hide in that short amount of time.

Was it my imagination or did that really just happen? It seemed too real to be true.

"Co..Colby." I softly said, as my feet were unable to move after the thought of having seen something so real, yet not being there.

"Yeah?" He looked back, so did the other two. "You okay? What happened?" He got closer and looked at my face then back to the corridor, trying to see what I was looking at.

"I... there was someone here. An employee... with... a tray. I looked at him, even greeted him for a second and when I looked back he was... gone."

"No fucking way." Sam said.

"Are you serious?? You're telling me you just saw a full-on person then it disappeared?" Nate asked, shocked.

"I guess, yeah?"

"Oh, this is gonna be a good night." Sam put the camera on my face. "One of us already saw something unexplainable, wish that would've been me." He laughed.

"Next thing we know you begin to levitate brother." Colby laughed back.

I laughed as well, trying to brush away the thought of genuinely seeing a ghost.

All night, I've ended up having this eerie feeling of someone just watching us, but there was no one around. I tried to hide my uneasiness but Colby saw through me right away.

Every time he noticed, he began to flirt with me, making me feel good the best way he knows how. "You know we can just leave if you're too uncomfortable, baby." He kissed my forehead, putting his arms on my shoulders.

"Don't worry about it, I'm good. If I couldn't handle it, I would tell you right away."

"You better." He chuckled and kissed me, making all of my stress go away for a moment.

I can't lie, it did make me feel better, but somehow it just made things worse. I started seeing figures at the corners of my eyes, movements around me where nobody was walking around, even feeling touched a few times around my shoulders, hands and even ass. It felt weird, it made my anxiety grow by the minute, but somehow, it felt safe because of Colby.

And so, we ended the tour of the place and thought about trying to get some activity at around 3 in the morning. Meaning, we had nothing else to do. I was already tired enough, feeling as if the energy in my body has been drained to its core. I believed that it was solely because of the much walking and anxiety that was rising constantly.

Although the others planned on staying awake until the hour came, I told them I will try and get some sleep. And so, they would wake me up when the time comes.

Lying in the bed, I didn't stay up for long until my eyelids were closed and my brain just shut down. Usually, I'm quite the light sleeper, but this time I was knocked out.

Until I felt it.

I felt some hands on my legs. Honestly, I wasn't conscious enough to know if it was in my dreams or in real life. It turns out, it was real. And it wasn't Colby, or anyone else. But I felt it, tight on my leg. I couldn't even think right before I felt a pull and suddenly I was on the floor.

I could feel a sharp pain on my head as it was the first thing that touched the floor. I quickly woke up, shaken up by the sudden act. I whined in pain as the other seemingly stood up from their places and looked at me, possibly concerned, believing I might've just moved and fallen off the bed.

Before they even got closer, I got pulled back. This time, being completely awake, I yelled out, looking back at whatever force was holding my legs, one to see nothing at all.

And it was at that point when I felt genuine fear. I tried my hardest to hold onto the floor or anything really, but to no avail. Tears filling my tired eyes as I tried to focus my vision to the things around me. Next thing I knew I was thrown onto the wall, my back throbbing with pain as I felt a huge headache from the mild concussion I probably had after all of this.

To this point, everyone was frightened. Fear made them almost unable to walk, talk even. I could see them, their scared faces, trying to do something but there was this tension that made them... stop in place. Like this pressure, this force that was throwing me around like a ragdoll. They couldn't help me, it seemed.

At least in my point of view.

Unbeknownst to me, they were actually trying to set themselves free from this invisible pressure. Trying to move, but feeling like they've had a ton of weight on top of them that they couldn't escape from.

As I fell to the floor, I tried to gain back my breathing. Shaking on the floor, I looked up and saw Colby screaming my name while being set free from the pressure, running towards me. I looked at him with hope in my eyes, trying to pull my arm up to hold him, only to feel myself getting pulled again. This time, thrown towards the couch.

Although the direct hit to the couch didn't feel as bad, I had enough force to fall back behind the couch and to the floor. Since I tried to hold myself with the couch, unfortunately, it leaned back on itself and fell on top of me. Just the cherry on top.

I whined in pain, unable to move, stuck underneath the couch with bruises all over my body and the wet feeling of warm liquid on my back and the top of my head, wishing it would've only been sweat.

My vision was blurry.

My senses were all fucked up.

It all happened so quick that I don't think even they would've reacted in time even if they were able to move freely.

With my eyes closed, I could feel the pressure from the couch lift from my chest and a pair of arms holding me tightly.

"Oh my fucking god. Oh shit. Fuck. We need to get the fuck out of here." I heard Colby desperately scream. As I opened my eyes, I could see his teary ones. Holding me onto his arms, his eyes filled with guilt and fear. "Are you okay? Fuck..."

"Hurts..." I was able to whisper out those words, shaking and I feel myself coughing onto my hand. Looking back at the now blood-drenched hand, the pain began to intensify. My vision kept on failing, only able to see blobs of colors here and there.

Colby held me on his arms and pulled me up from the floor, which made me whimper in pain, feeling my back getting even more wet by the moment.

"Shit. Her back is bleeding... Fuck." I could hear Sam's shaky voice as I tried to gain back my breath, trying to calm myself down as I heard the rapidly increasing heartbeat of Colby.

Somehow, it made me feel okay. Being by his side, the rush of everything around almost seemed softer, calmer. I could no longer listen to everything that was going on.

Muffled sounds were the only thing that could pass through.

Yelling.

Moving.

A tight squeeze.

I felt numb. For a moment, at least.

My name.

I heard my name and suddenly, I was conscious again. I blinked a few times and looked up at the desperate Colby. "Please... tell me you're okay... fuck..." His tears probably blurring his eyesight.

A glimpse of strength came back to me and I was able to touch his cheek with my hand. He quickly looked down at me. "I'm fine... I'm fine..."

"Right after we walk out of the room..." Nate pointed out, holding all of their stuff in their hands.

"We need to get the fuck out of here and get her to a hospital." Sam said, walking quickly with the others. I was confused, seemingly forgetting for a brief moment about how I was brutally assaulted by a ghost.

"Hospital? Why are we going to a hos..." As I was talking, I realized why they were hurriedly walking away. I felt the pain all over again. I groaned at the feeling, shaking on Colby's arms.

"You'll be okay, you're going to be fine. Don't move. Deep breaths, baby." Colby tried to calm me down, his shaky breath giving away his anxiety.

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My back was all bruised up. I had some unknown hand marks on my legs, where I was pulled from. Some scratches tinted my back red when I got into the ER, as well as a few bumps in my head that gave me a red face.

The memories of what happened were blurry, yet so vivid.

And the only thing keeping me conscious was him. I could see it in his face, he felt guilty. Guilty for something that wasn't even his fault.

"Shouldn't have let you go with us... we should've stopped when you began to see so many things... I'm so stupid." He whispered under his breath.

"Hey, hey. Look at me." I said. He reluctantly looked up and into my eyes. I smiled. "It wasn't your fault. Nothing about this could've been predicted, alright? Don't blame yourself." He smiled slightly, only to sigh.

"Yeah, but..." I interrupted him.

"No buts. I'm fine. I'm still here, with you. Right?" I responded, softly while holding his hand. "No need to feel guilty, no need to be sorry. You just have to promise me a good time when I get out of here, yeah? And a good meal." I smiled. "Food here kinda taste like shit." He chuckled, making me smile even more. "That's the face I like to see."

"I love you, so much." He said, holding my hand up to his lips and leaving a soft kiss on them, making my cheeks flutter by the site of his sensitive side.

"I love you too. Now, do that again, but closer to my face."

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it's been a while since i've written something like this, and honestly i just remembered how fun and angsty it is to write about getting literally beaten up by a ghost lmao

hope you liked it, requests are appreciated!

-nikkõ

[elinoracia]

⁑ Someone else flirts with you // Hogwarts legacy characters reactions x reader ⁑

~ Hogwarts Legacy headcanons ~

Warnings: Jealousy, fluff, f!reader, use of Y/N, not proofread, swearing (censored) Pairings: Sebastian x reader, Ominis x reader, Garreth x reader, Amit x reader, Poppy x reader, Natty x reader, Imelda x reader, Leander x reader.

Feel free to request anything!

→ [All characters are aged up to 18 y.o. or more (7th year)] ←

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Context: Following the events that took place during the 5th year, you became more popular without really wanting it. A few people have started to take a closer interest in you. But you still only have eyes for one person since you arrived. However, a boy has started flirting with you and talking to you more and more often. His name is Spencer Rooks. Spencer is the captain of the Hufflepuff quidditch team, also in 7th year. His soft blue eyes, freckles and blond messy hair could make anyone feel flustered around him. But he only has his eyes on you and the person you like took notice of that. Today, Spencer passed you a note to meet him after class. You chose to accept his offer and listen what he had to say to you. Someone seems to not be too pleased by that... (pre-relashionship)

THEIR REACTION:

Sebastian:

Oh he's pissed. You're his! Well...not yet but you are his! He tolerated Spencer's flirting for way too long. He has to intervene.

"Spencer, leave her alone. Can't you see Y/N is not interested?"

All means are good if it makes him leave you alone. But if Spencer insists too much to talk to you, Sebastian will definitely raise his wand at him. He's not scared to be in detention again.

"Let's leave Y/N. He's not worth you time at all." He takes your hand and leads you somewhere else.

"What a prick! Touching you like that and flirting with you. Trust me, he's not good enough for you."

You ask him if he's jealous and you see him frown.

"I am not jealous, I would just prefer if he didn't exist near you! I-I mean...I know you can take care of yourself but- I just don't like others around you that can't respect you."

He'll cross his arms and will stare into your eyes.

"Next time, tell him you're mine. Tell him you're my girlfriend. And if he tries anything, I won't need my wand to hurt him. Besides, I bet he only likes you because you're Hogwarts hero or something like that...NO! I'm not jealous! I just think you deserve better!"

He will make sure that everyone knows you're his, even if you're not yet in a relationship with him.

He WILL be more affectionate and touchy in public.

He's very possessive and will remind you that you both were best friends before you saved Hogwarts and the wizzarding world in general.

"I liked and still like you for you, don't fall for guys like Spencer who only notice you for what you did. He's an opportunist! And you deserve someone who can see how wonderful you are."

Ominis:

Now he is more discreet about his feelings for you and how he handles jealousy. But when Spencer asked you to meet him after class, Ominis couldn't let that happen. He realises he was too slow to be the first to ask you out and he had to do something...quickly.

"Y/N, is that true that you planned to meet Spencer after class? Well...I advice you to reconsider. He does not seem like a very proper gentleman."

You ask him if he's jealous. You see his cheeks redden.

"Jealous? Why should I be jealous Y/N? You obviously are too good for him. And he does not seem like the type of individual you would be into...isn't he?"

He is worried you are into another boy but he tries to keep his composure.

"I heard a few people gossiping about him. Apparently, he has a new girlfriend every month. You deserve to feel special Y/N."

This might be the first time he pays attention to meaningless gossips. But he just has to convince you not to give Spencer a chance.

"Besides, I might need your help after class to prepare myself for our next potion exam. My concoctions are still utter rubbish and you seem to be the only one who actually make me improve my skills."

Any reason is a good reason if it makes you stay away from the Hufflepuff.

He will sit next to you in every class to make everyone understand you are with him, even if you're not his girlfriend yet...

He will frown everytime he hears you talking to another guy. And if Spencer dares to speak to you, he will drag you away and find an excuse to justify it.

"I hope he was not bothering you. I can make the Headmater expel him if he tries anything inappropriate. Just tell me if anything happens."

He didn't mind boys talking to you but when Spencer got a little to close to you for his liking, he became a bit more protective of you. He doesn't want to let that happen again.

Garreth:

He is not usually the jealous type because he knows you're not interested by the other boys/girls who are flirting with you on a daily basis. But Spencer seemed to have your attention for some reason... And when Garreth is jealous, he is not very classy about it.

"What is going on with Spencer and you? I heard you two whispering during class. Since when the both of you are that close?"

You explain to him you planned to meet up with Spencer after class because he had something to tell you. You hear the red-haired boy scoff.

"I bet he'll confess to you...that idiot. Hum...please tell me you don't reciprocate his feelings?"

He'll try to invite you somewhere else so you don't join Spencer after class. He thinks he is being sneaky about it.

"Please I can't find those ingredients without you, it's very urgent matters! Screw Spencer! Besides, you'd rather spend time with me than him...right?"

You're making the poor boy anxious. He is scared you might find Spencer better than him.

"I can also play quidditch you know? And I bet Spencer is not a talented potionist like I am! I'm just saying..."

You ask him if he's maybe...jealous? He left you no time to finish your last word that he quickly retorts.

"Me? Jealous? Please Y/N, you can't be serious. Why would I be jealous? We're...friends... and he is just some guy. I simply don't want you to shift your attention on him and forget about me, alright?"

You try to reassure him with some light-hearted teasing that he was your favorite flirt and that you couldn't possibly forget about him, even if you tried.

"Well...now I know. Could you maybe repeat the part where you said you could never forget me?"

Amit:

He is really not the jealous type because he understands why and how popular you became. But when he is jealous, he does not dare to talk about it to not seem possessive or selfish. But the way Spencer acts around you doesn't sit right with him...

"Y/N? I hope you don't mind if I bring up a rather...private subject. It's about you and Spencer. I noticed you two during class... Are you perhaps- please stop me if you do not feel comfortable sharing- b-but are you two...together?"

You ask him if he's just curious or maybe... jealous? You see him stiffen at your question.

"J-Jealous? I'm really not! I swear! I just think he might not be the right fit for you... You deserve someone who sees you for who you really are; the shiniest star in the sky. Nothing less..."

You reassure him by certifying that you were not in a relationship with Spencer. You then explain he just asked you to meet you up after class to tell you something. You see Amit slightly frown.

"I...I don't think you should meet with him."

He then instantly apologizes. His facial expression is a mix between confusion and fear. He's torn between telling you not to go or let you do what you want...

Out of the blue, he gently grabs your hand.

"What if I said I also... wanted to see you? Who would you choose?"

You can't help but let out a small chuckle. Of course you would choose Amit over him...over anyone actually. But he is so cute when he is jealous. But you finally give in to his request.

"R-really? You'd rather be with me? Then let's go to Honeydukes after class! I could also let you try the new lense of my telescope!"

Seeing him compete for you attention definitely made you feel really hot... He is so adorable.

Poppy:

She is way too obvious when she is jealous. She just can't hide it. This Spencer boy is seriously getting on her nerves...Why can't he just leave you alone? She's the only one who has the right to be glued to Y/N!

"Hum...Y/N...Are you and Spencer a thing? Because he seems really interested and you don't seem to mind it. I-I'm just curious, that's all! You know you can tell me anything."

She looks nervous and you can see it. She is twisting a strand of her hair between her fingers.

You tell her that Spencer actually asked you to meet him after class. Seeing the look on Poppy's face, you might have actually thought she saw a ghost. She was petrified.

"M-Meet him after class? Does he like you? Do you think he'll confess? Oh Merlin... Do you like this guy?"

She bombards you with questions. You're trying your best to reassure her but she doesn't seem to focus on what you're saying. You then take her hands into yours to calm her down.

"I-I'm sorry. But, as your friend... of course... I am just worried this guy is just not any good for you at all. He doesn't seem like the type to treat you right or anything. And you're worth so much better!"

"And who do I deserve then Poppy?" You asked with a playful giggle. You like to see her all flustered. It was so cute.

"W-Well...maybe someone who like you before all the stuff that happened during 5th year...A-Anyway! It's not about that, we are talking about Spencer here!"

She pouts at your light teasing. She is so terribly obvious about how she feels.

You have to reassure her and tell her that you don't feel anything for the Hufflepuff boy. She lets out a big sigh of relief.

"Good...So...does that mean you're free after class? Wanna do something with me?"

Natty:

Now Natty is very mature and can handle her jealousy very well...that's what she thought until Spencer grew a little too close to you. She usually doesn't mind your multiple admirers but this time it felt different. She has to do something...

"Y/N, I was wondering... Spencer seems quite persistent. Maybe you need help to tell him off?"

You explain to Natty he actually became a good friend and that he wanted to talk to you after class. She keeps a neutral face, not wanting her emotions to get the best of her.

"That is good to hear. I wonder what he has to say to you."

Natty knew exactly what Spencer wanted to talk to you about. But she felt selfish... She was biting her tongue to not say anything more.

"I hope he is not in love with you Y/N. I heard he was quite a flirtatious guys and that he treated his ex-girlfriends very poorly... Yes those are gossips but sometimes they are right! Well...maybe he is just pretending to be nice to you for now, you know how boys are."

She would let you meet Spencer after school but she would overthink about what your response to his confession would be.

"So? What did he say? Tell me everything!" She was trying to keep a smile on her face but she was really really anxious.

As you explained to her, you see her gently relaxing her shoulders. You don't share the same feelings as Spencer, to her delight.

"That's good. He was not right for you anyway." You then dare to ask her why she was so happy you didn't reciprocated his feelings. She was taken aback.

"P-please don't think I was jealous. I just know you well enough to assume he was not your type at all. You deserve someone who will treat you like a princess."

She has never been more relieved you rejected someone. She will keep a close eye on you the next time someone talks to you. She can't let that happen again.

Imelda:

When she is jealous, she usually just bullies you. She hates to see you with other people no matter who they are. So, you can be certain that she cannot stand Spencer being all flirty and chatty with you.

"He just can't leave you alone, can he? Always trying to get your attention. It's so pathetic. Don't give him the time of the day, he's a twat."

You tell her that Spencer asked you to meet him after class. You see her almost explode of rage in front of your very eyes.

"What the f*ck? Who does he think he is? I mean, please let him embarrass himself, I know he doesn't stand a chance...right? Don't tell me you like him? Oh good...not that I care or anything, you do you."

You ask her if she's jealous. She lets out the meanest laugh you've ever heard. Ouch...

"Me? Jealous of him? I can prove it to you that I am, in fact, better than him. I'm also a MUCH better quidditch player. Just saying... Don't look at me like that! I'm not jealous! Just stop hanging out with him, that's all!"

She might sound agressive but she really just needs to be reassured.

"And you promised me to be there at every one of my quidditch practices. And if he doesn't like it, I'm not afraid to punch him in the throat and break his precious broom."

You notice how agitated she is by the fact that Spencer might like you. You say nothing to preserve peace but...how cute it was that she wanted to fight someone for you.

"Forget about him. You deserve a much better contenders for your love. You also deserves someone that is as good as me on a broom. Spencer is way too slow. Why are you smiling at me like that? What did I say?"

She'll make sure you only look at her during practice and during other classes. She'll make sure to remind you that she is the best person to hang out with you.

Leander:

Now he will go about it the hard way to keep people who are interested in you away. He usually straight up lies and tells everyone you are actually his girlfriend so nobody will flirt with you. But Spencer just directly asked you...not fair. He has to do something about it... and now.

"What? He asked you to meet him after class? Well...just don't go? Or tell him you have a boyfriend? Oh come on, it's just a little white lie."

He tries to convince you not to go. But you still want to hear what Spencer has to say.

"Okay but only if I go with you. I can't leave you alone with that creep. Do we have a deal?"

When you wait for Spencer after class, Leander was waiting with you. Leander just couldn't hold back the urge to mark his territory and show that you were his...not officially but in his mind your were his.

"So, please tell us what you wanted to say. Don't be shy."

Leander is touching VERY inappropriately while Spencer tries to speak. He runs his hands down your back, around your shoulders and…on your hips.

You want to stop it but you can't. You...like it. It makes you feel all nervous and you feel your cheeks redden.

At the end, the poor Spencer just gave up and excused himself from the conversation.

"I think he got the message. You're not interested by him and you'll never be. I was helpful, see? "

You scold him gently, telling him how innapropriate that was. He just smirks and chuckles at you. He's so childish...

"Oh don't pretend you didn't like it Y/N. Maybe I should do it more often, that seems to keep the others away."

You stroked his ego unintentionally.

But...what if...nobody stopped you from going?

Spencer:

He waits for you after class. He looks so nonchalent, you almost refuse to think he might confess to you.

"You came! What a relief. I just wanted to tell you that...I know that we've not been friends for long but...hum...I like you. I almost lost my last quidditch match because you were the only thing on my mind."

You were just speechless. Your face was burning up and your cheeks were red. He took notice of that.

"Sorry, I just blurted it out but I'm really serious. I like you Y/N. And if you just let me one chance to prove that I'm worthy of your affection, you won't regret it! Does it sound too corny? I just really like you sorry, I'm letting my heart speak for me right now."

The Hufflepuff's face was also red. He looks so sincere. His blue eyes staring right into yours.

"Do you need time to think about it? I can give you some space. I just... I would give you the world if you ask me to. You're just...so wonderful. But I'll give you the time you want to think about it! Or maybe we could go on a date? Just to make sure I'm your type."

He lets out tiny nervous chuckles as he speaks. He is a blushing mess and he is trying his hardest to speak clearly and not be overwhelmed by his emtions.

Will you give him a chance?

[twig-tea]

With 23.5 finally coming out, the people are rejoicing at finally getting a high profile gl from GMMTV. But there have already been several gls airing this year, including my fav TsukuTabe, that have been flying under the radar with fandom, and in general there are more gls already out there than folks seem to think. I just know you have a list of all the gls we should be watching, please share with the class!

Thank you for the ask! How did you know I had a draft of GL recs to make at some point? [Trick question, I mentioned it to you.]

It may seem like I'm out here hating on GL because i've made a couple of negative reviews of recently airing series recently (Love Senior and Chaser Game W in case you're curious) but I actually have lots of GL that I love and that I wish were better known! Thanks for sending this ask so I am inspired to actually finish it! I've limited myself to series so that I could keep the list and this post to a reasonable length. Where possible I've listed where you can find each of these and included a link. And I've included an 'elevator pitch' summary but I am NOT in marketing for a reason, so please don't roast me too hard for my terrible comparisons. Alright, enough waffling!

Twig's GL Rec List

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat S1 & 2 (Japan, 2022 & 2024, both seasons fansubbed by @furritsubs; if you need help accessing this show feel free to DM me!)

Elevator pitch: Our Dining Table with lesbians and an even slower burn. Watch for beautiful food, acespec rep, mental health and therapy rep

What might turn some off: Extremely low heat, and quite slow-moving; warning for a disordered eating and family trauma plot (v gently handled)

Let's start with the one you've already mentioned. This is a heartwarming slice-of-life slow burn in which an autismspec-coded woman who likes to eat is invited by her neighbour, a femme acespec woman who loves to cook, to come and eat her food. It starts from a very practical place (when you love making food you need someone to help eat it), but their relationship grows as they spend more time together. The story follows them as they both move towards self-actualization in several ways: as a lesbian, as asexual, at work, with their families, with their friends, with each other. This show is so careful to say the important words aloud. And there is so much delicious cooking! Each episode highlights a particular recipe, and the food porn is real. Do not watch while hungry, but definitely watch. The found famiy vibes in this one one are also immaculate.

She Makes My Heart Flutter (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Younger lesbian friend group tries to help out (slightly) older lesbian bar owner with mixed success. I can't think of a good BL equivalent, The Moment Since feels the closest with its similar bartender/patron romance

What might turn some off: Comedic tone; short runtime; struggles with being closeted

This is a gem of a miniseries about a bar owner and an interior designer who smoulder at one another while an intrepid group of younger bar regulars (including the bar owner's neice) meddle. This series is really cute, solid, and full of sapphics! Once again found family vibes are immaculate (you may sense a theme in my faves). Run don't walk.

Fragrance of the First Flower (Taiwan, 2021, GagaOOLala)

Elevator pitch: Right-person-wrong-time/second chance romance; tonally is a little like We Best Love 2: Fighting Mr. 2nd but with an ambiguous ending.

What might turn you off: Medium heat, second chance romance means they break up once, internalized homophobia, adultery/cheating, at one point there's a creepy dude, child with autism (depicted well), ambiguous ending

At its core this is a story of a woman who can't stop getting in the way of her own happiness. This series is a little more sad than the rest of this rec list but I couldn't not include it because this relationship is so poignant. Plus there's a s2 that supposedly is to come out in 2024 so maybe we'll get our happy ending after all?

Love Greater Than or Equal to 70 Degrees C (Korea, 2019, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ingredients but with lesbians staring at one another over beautiful tea pairings! What more could you ask for?

What might turn you off: Low heat; short runtime; ambiguous ending; like Ingredients this is essentially a long ad for the café it's filmed at.

This is a Korean miniseries about passionate tea sommeliers making really fancy tea while staring at one another a LOT. Perfect sapphic representation, 10/10 no notes. This one packs a lot of the drama tropes into its short runtime, so even though it's short it's full of butterfly-inspiring moments.

Sleep With Me (Philippines, 2022, GagaOOLala/iWantTFC/Netflix w/VPN set to Philippines)

Elevator pitch: The Truth About Cats and Dogs but the self esteem issues are handled without catfishing. BL equivalent: Hmmm. Closest I can think of is Gaya Sa Pelikula.

What might turn you off: There's some ableism (treated as such) in this show; Open ending.

Stellar GL between a late night radio DJ and an insomniac who listens to her show. One of the main couple is a wheelchair user and the show tackles ablelism and navigating disability in relationship as well as feelings of inadequacy in a relationship and how that manifests as interpersonal conflict.

Our Relationship Ended Before it Began (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Along the lines of I Cannot Reach You; the show gives both perspectives and they are held back by queer angst.

What might turn you off: No kiss (but they make it very clear both want to kiss), internalized homophobia

Really sweet miniseries about having a crush and being afraid of being hurt so you don't actually make a move. I really like the way the girl who has not dated a girl before defaults to gender roles and it throws the more experienced lesbian lol I also really like the way this show makes clear that both of them are waiting for a kiss, and that if you get in your head about things, it can get in the way of your own happiness!

Pearl Next Door (Philippines, 2020, Youtube)

Elevator Pitch: Gameboys but with lesbian vloggers.

What might turn you off: Love triangle, lots of teasing but low heat in the end, a lot of (good) conversations about mental health issues, ambiguous ending

This is the GL spinoff to Gameboys, starring Pearl from Gameboys. Pearl ends up being fought over by the two gorgeous women in the gif, an old love and a new. I love the queer friendships in this story as much as the relationships. I will say it's an open ending (that felt a bit like the showrunners didn't want to decide between ships) and definitely the love triangle features prominently but even in the face of these aspects that would normally turn me off a series I had a good time. The characters and interpersonal conflicts feel very real, and are allowed to be complex even when the show tone is comedic.

Dear Uranus (Taiwan, 2021, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Schoolgirl ensemble GL; a little like My School President but without the singing.

What might turn you off: Short runtime; ambiguous ending; a little bit of bullying; very standard romance trope execution

The first Taiwanese GL miniseries, this series was produced by a Taiwanese lesbian couple (Rabbit & Wolf)! Lots of excellent drama tropes, and incredibly gorgeous women (I think the entire watching audience fell in love with Erol.

Lily Fever (Korea, 2015, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Complete crack; YYY but with more kissing and frankly an even less coherent story.

What might turn you off: The lack of coherent plot; less a romance and more a very thirsty lesbian kissing everyone she can

This miniseries is utter chaos. Nothing really makes sense, it's all just random excuses to cause very suggestive moments (and kissing) to happen. I love so much how this series depicts women being so absolutely thirsty for one another (and yes that date isn't a typo, this series is ~9 years old). Not an "happy ever after" ending but it really isn't that kind of story.

Chasing Sunsets (Philippines, 2020, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ocean Likes Me with lesbians. Resort romance with a mental health twist.

What might turn you off: Some of the mental health stuff gets intense, this was filmed in 2020 so the pandemic features heavily; hopeful but slightly ambiguous ending.

A complex story from the Philippines covering mental health and finding yourself. A woman shows up to a resort and befriends one of the women running the resort. They get closer as they spend time together, and the resort owner realizes something is off. There's also a BL side couple in this series.

Show Me Love (Thai, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: A little like My Day the series with lesbians, in that they work together and fall in love and it's full of tropes

What might turn you off: The advertising for the Miss Grand competition, there is some bullying and cheating (though way less than I was expecting tbh), not a lot actually happens, the editing gets a bit wonky at the end

This is essentially a massive ad for the Miss Grand Thailand competition; this GL was produced by the same company that produces that competition, and the stars are mostly Miss Grand competitors. The main pairing were shipped in the actual competition, and the company decided to make a GL about them. It's very slow paced and low-stakes, and there are better kisses than I expected considering everything I just said about where this show came from. There are a lot of cute moments!

Girlfriend Project (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Love Class with lesbians

What might turn you off: One of the leads is kind of mean in that pgitail-pulling way? It ends abruptly (but happily)

This is a short miniseries about two girls paired in a class that are assigned to "date". The chemistry is chemistrying. And there is a kiss (a good kiss, and a tiptoes kiss at that!). This show also has one of my favourite tropes, in which someone who seems like a pushover stands up for themselves and their partner finds it very attractive. For the record, in this show they are watching another GL by the same company, Love Tech.

Lulu (Philippines, 2022, Vivamax/grey)

Elevator Pitch: Present Perfect with lesbians (but with a better ending).

What might turn you off: Depictions of panic attacks, brief depiction of drowning, pandemic lockdowns, illness, exes, waffling, happy but open ending (which I actually liked for this story)

Two women trying to move on from the garbage in their lives meet at the beach of a B&B (where one saves the other from drowning) and become one another's company during their escape and then something more. They both have baggage that seems determined to keep them apart even as they continue to be drawn together. In the end, they decide to stick it out and see where they end up, with no guarantee of happily ever after, which I found very sweet. Requires either a VivaMax account or searching the grey for it, but it's worth the effort (check MyDramaList comments for suggestions on where to find it). Plus one of the leads has a cactus as a pet.

Welcome to the Lesbian Bar (Korea, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: A little like Fudanshi Bartender but without the fudanshi bartender and all of the bar patrons are lesbians lol

What might turn you off: Short, can get a little bit preachy, abrupt ending

Cute short series with different very stories every episode as different patrons visit the bar. The stories range from women who have been together for awhile, to people meeting from an online app for the first time, to someone visiting a lesbian bar for the first time; and yet the story all weaves together in a way that's satisfying though ends abruptly. Includes some solid marriage equality propaganda.

GAP the Series (Thai, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Kind of the vibes of Together with Me but lesbians and in an office instead of school. Angry boss falls for charming new intern and

What might turn you off: This one is the highest heat of all these recs; homophobia especially amongst family, brief depictions of death by car, brief mentions of suicide, cheating, bullying, abuse of power in the office.

A list would not be complete without this one! Honestly the plot is a bit wobbly but the show is a lot of fun. The girls are very cute, the feelings and tension builds really well between them, the friend group is excellent, and in the special we get a wedding.

---

The rest of these have caveats of one kind or another, but i couldn't leave them off a rec list, so here are the side couples and censored stories that are still worth your time anyway (I might do a separate more detailed post for these, as well as for films, one day if there's interest):

Nevertheless (GL side; Korean, 2021, Netflix) Not sure it's worth watching a whole kdrama for side lesbians? Search soljiwan on youtube. They are great. Even the Netflix account stans them. I watched this (ngl, I watched the SolJiwan cut) as it aired and was constantly braced for it to let us down but it did not! A really good friends-to-lovers story.

Friend Zone 2: Dangerous Area (GL side; Thailand, 2019, YouTube): These sapphics are messy and I love them. Decent conversation about dating someone with mental health issues in this series, and they're one of the only couples in this ensemble to get a happy ending. If you're just watching the lesbian couple (which you can, their story is pretty self-contained) you don't need to have seen s1.

Six Survivors (GL side; Japan, 2022, Viki) This show is a horror comedy and it is SO MUCH FUN. Warning for zombies and blood, but way less than you might think. One of the eponymous 6 survivors is a lesbian who keeps trying to convert them to veganism lol. If you watched Chaser Game W you'll recognize one of the actresses in this, the lead actress is from Kamisama no Ekohiiki, and one of the guys is from the prequel series His as well as I Want to See Only You! And yes there is a kiss. Also a surprising number of Mallrats references. Not for people who can't handle gore or relationships being complicated/not a "true love" story/ambiguous ending.

Kamisama no Ekohiiki (complicated question of is it GL in parts, Japan, 2021, furritsubs once again coming through to save the day) This one is a bit complex because there's bodyswap, but the girl who falls for the bodyswapped boy-in-a-girl's-body is clear that she is only interested in the girl. One of the better bodyswap stories because the bodyswap is not a secret for very long, so instead there's a lot of introspection about what gender means and who/what they are attracted to. Feels wrong to call this GL, necessarily, but it's very queer.

Couple of Mirrors (Censored GL, China, 2021, Viki) Story of a rich girl and her assassin girlfriend. This production did an amazing job getting away with what they could, just don't watch the last five minutes and we've got essentially a happy lesbian family.

Legend of Yunze (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) Very cute very low budget xianxia miniseries with two seasons and a special. The special is set in modern times in a future lifetime so if you want a cute censored-but-clearly-a-soulmate-love-story this is the one for you. Don't be thrown off by the weird cuts/abrupt episode endings, that's in line with cdramas in general.

Led Astray by Love (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) A very fun and adorable isekai story in which a modern day girl is transported to a wuxia novel setting and has to figure out how to get home, and gets romanced by the princess along the way.

And a few additional links for people who even more content:

My Indian sapphic webseries rec list

My suggestions for content with toms (Thai category that's similar to but not exactly the same as butch lesbians) in response to this post.

This really good GL MyDramaList list (not made by me!) lists what seems to be everything I've mentioned and about 200 more. Even I haven't seen a few of these!

My YouTube playlist of sapphic content: This includes anything I stumble across or find in my searches, a lot of music videos and random shorts as well as some microseries and miniseries that I don't consider GL but are WLW/sapphic in addition to true "GL" content. For serialized content, I add just the first ep. A complete mess, but you can trawl through to find stuff to watch, like Hetero!

SOONOTSUE: The same producers of She Makes My Heart Flutter have other short series on their channel worth checking out; if you liked that one, try Out of Breath!

Shakeshoulder: Thai YouTube producers of very pulpy (read: low budget and dramatic plots) shorts

FuFuKnows: This YouTube channel is owned by a gay Taiwanese couple that produces shorts every week, including some with GL mains and sides. These are very low budget but cover a whole swath of queer themes.

@douqi7s is a godsend providing subtitles for all kinds of content, including sapphic shorts and more series than I've listed here. Check their tumblr for links to all of their content; A Practical Guide to Being a Superstar's Assistant has one of the best setups to giving us great moments in the guise of something else so that they get past censorship I've ever seen; I also recommend The Vampires if you're into genre fiction, as well as Legend of Yunqian if you enjoyed the xianxia parts of Legend of Yunze. @wlwcatalogue did an excellent summary of many of the non-wuxia options here.

Quick pitch for the streaming platform GagaOOLala; it's affordable, has a ton of content, including a whack of GLs (originals, license series, and a ton of shorts), and is run by queer people out of Taiwan who care about good quality queer content being made and having an audience, and using the soft power from those successful series to support social change. And if you can't afford a subscription it's worth checking out what they have for free, they open up temporary free access to some things for various events throughout the year.

In searching for gifs for this post I found fellow tumblr user @drowningparty 's WLW compendium list; they've listed more series and films so check it out if you still need more content!

*wipes sweat off brow* that should be enough to be getting on with, but it's really just the tip of the iceberg! If there's something specific you want to see with sapphics let me know and I can tell you if I know it exists. Anyway, I hope this gives you and everyone else a taste of what all is out there! I of course always want more, I am serious about being a sapphic dragon hoarding every crumb i can get my lizardy hands on, but I do think what we have should also be appreciated more. If I missed one of your faves, please tell me!

[luveline]

𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 | 𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

one | two

Finding out you're a princess isn't half as intimidating as suddenly acquiring a full-time bodyguard. Especially when that bodyguard is disarmingly handsome, charming, and can't seem to stop flirting with you.

bodyguard!james, fem!reader, shy!reader, princess diaries au (sort of), all characters in their 20s or older, star-crossed lovers/ forbidden romance james isn't flirty this chapter i lied but he will be <3

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Sirius Black smells like winter. The deep and fruity fragrance of cranberries, pomegranate, maybe cinnamon. You aren't certain, and if he weren't currently an inch from your face, you'd ask him what it is. 

"You poor thing," he murmurs, dabbing very, very gently against the bruised skin of your cheek.

"It's not–" You hiss at sudden pressure. He immediately recedes. "It's not so bad." 

"I've half a mind to rag him around and take up the mantle myself." 

"I'd love to see that," Remus says.  

"I'd look good in the uniform, right?" 

James doesn't look happy at their joking but he's been nothing less than a grovelling puppy since last night, and he breaks his silence to say, "You don't have to wear any make-up if it's going to hurt." 

"Uh, yes she does. Imagine the headlines otherwise: Lost Princess Bruised Under the Imbecilic Watch of New Bodyguard," Sirius announces, sharing a not-so-private smile with Remus across the coffee table. 

"It doesn't hurt," you say to James. 

You're lying. Being smacked in the face with a door isn't just embarrassing, it really fucking hurts. James' biceps aren't for show, that's for sure. He'd swung open the door and you, having tripped seconds beforehand over the cord of your lamp, had been at the perfect height for it to bounce off the highest point of your cheek. 

"Princess," he says now, as he'd said last night, "I'm so sorry." 

You think of his hands under your arms pulling you up into a standing position, and the way he'd tilted your head back. The barking order he'd given Frank to grab something to use as an ice pack, and the warmth of the pad of his thumb as it stroked the soft line of your jaw. 

"It was a freak accident." You smile, careful not to push up your cheeks lest you invite another round of shooting pains. "Please don't feel bad. It's my fault for being up in the first place, I– I couldn't sleep." 

"If you want anything for it, let me know," Remus says. 

"He's got, like, his own personal pain pharmacy," Sirius says. "You should take him up on it. I beg him everytime we fly for some of the strong stuff and he always says no, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity." 

"Let's not start on the co-codamols," James says. 

"I have ibuprofen," Remus placates. 

"I don't need anything, I promise." 

Some ibuprofen would be awesome but you really don't want James to feel guilty. You want to forget it even happened, embarrassed by both your idiocy and your tears. 

Getting hit in the face by a metal door handle hurts. Your reaction had been justified, but crying all over your handsome bodyguards nice hands hadn't been something you'd pictured doing. Not 12 hours after meeting him.

"You want me to do your lips?" Sirius asks. 

"How do you mean?" 

Sirius pulls a metal palette of lip colours out of his small make up bag and shows them to you. He circles two with a disposable brush. "These would suit you. I wasn't sure about your complexion. Now I know, I'll get you more options when we're back in Genovia." 

"Oh, um…" You shake your head at him apologetically. "I don't know. You should do what you think is best." 

He puts the palette away. "You don't need anything you're unsure of. You don't need any makeup at all, my love, it only enhances what's already there." 

"Ten minutes," James says. "Princess, are you sure this is everything you want to take?" 

He taps your suitcase with the side of his shoe. You nod. 

"You can bring whatever you want. All of your things, if you like." He gestures to your bedroom. "Though we can get you anything you need, and we will, you're welcome to pack everything." 

"In a day, you'll know I'm not your princess. Less stuff to carry," you say. 

"You're so sure," Remus says. 

He speaks quietly but not timidly, laid back in your chair with an air of relaxation you wish you could master. He has a small mass market paperback tucked into one pocket of his jacket, the yellowed pages peeking over the hem, and his hand stuffed into the other. His pose doesn't speak of any arrogance. He looks happy to be here, and it puts you at ease. 

"Do I look like a princess?" you ask. You don't mean to put anyone on the spot —you aren't fishing for compliments— so you steamroll your own question. "I just find it strange. Surely I'd know. I would've known before, I mean." 

"Like a princess beacon?" Sirius asks. 

"No, but… I don't know. I think I'd feel it." 

Remus straightens a touch, grinning. "You look like him. The Prince. You have the same nose." 

Remus stands up before you can ask him to explain. James offers to take his bag and he shrugs away from his big hand with an annoyed huff. 

To your surprise, James only smiles, cooing after him, "You know you love me, Moons." 

"Well," Sirius says, zipping his bag closed and clasping his hands on top of it. "You can always have your things sent for once we're home." 

Home for them. 

Truthfully, deep down, you want to be a princess. Something in you is singing, is ringing, a string plucked, a tuner reverberating. Finally, something is happening. Your life could be more than mistakes. 

You're not used to having people around and this entire process has been hard. Getting hit in the face had sucked. But, to have company? This single hour has been one of the best you've had in a really long time. Sirius is sweeter than you'd thought, sarcastic but kind-handed, and Remus' dry humour has caught you off guard enough to laugh aloud multiple times. Even James' grovelling niceties have been shamefully enjoyable. You can't remember the last time you had someone around who wanted to comfort you.

And that's exactly why you're afraid to admit what seems true. You can't be the Princess, because if you are, you get to have this for a little while longer, and that would be too good to be true. 

Much, much too good. 

"Alright, let's go. Sirius, you have the keys?" 

Sirius swings his bag into James’ arms. “Am I driving?”

“What a stupid question.”

Another member of James’ security team meets you at your front door to help carry the bags downstairs and into the back of the SUV. James won’t allow you to help and getting inside while they’re still packing the boot feels spoiled, so you stand at the corner and feel too many eyes on you. James stands beside you, one hand hovering behind your shoulders to shield you, ridiculously, from the hedge behind, the other held aloft in level with his mouth, fingers curled around a small radio you’ve seen clipped to his shoulder. He’s enunciating clear, short instructions. He doesn’t sound as severe as you’d pictured someone in his occupation would sound. 

“What’s traffic like?” he asks. The answer buzzes down the line, inaudible to you but obviously understood by James. “Alright, brilliant. We should be on schedule, then. Is the third team on call?”

You can make the next answer out. “Yep, they’re waiting. You want them at the front?”

“Please. I want everyone we have, ideally.”

“Isn’t that overkill?” Sirius shouts from the passenger seat of the car, bent over the handbrake to be heard. “All three teams? That’s twelve men. None of my sources hint at any leaks.”

“I’m being over cautious.” James smiles at you, so suddenly you smile back on instinct. “Security on call get paid either way. Might as well make them work for it.”

He ushers you into the back seat, a cushy leather bench fit for three people. It’s rented, but Sirius is quick to pop a section behind his chair for you to show you the drinks fridge. 

“Oh,” you breathe, legs lit and cooled by the light and the chilled air, “cool.”

“You’ll want to drink one before James assesses that they’re poisoned.”

You wince back. “Are they poisoned?”

“Probably not, my love.”

Sirius is a mixture of flirtatious and genuine that you can’t wrap your head around. He’s awfully handsome, too, which makes it worse: he’s tanned, his curls shine, and he has the most perfect Roman nose you’ve ever seen. He’s almost as handsome as James. 

“Let me be very clear,” he says gently, turned in his seat to face you, “I’m not an intelligence agent. I don’t know nearly as much as darling Jamie about security, but I have a lot of friends in high places and, as far as I’m aware, nobody outside of the British or Genovian government knows what we’re doing here. And nobody has reason to hurt you just yet.” He grins. “It’s James’ job to be paranoid, but that’s all it is.” 

You waver, and his cheerful smile fades. 

He lowers his voice, tone sympathetic. “I can always try one first if you’re worried.”

The driver’s door opens and James climbs in. “Try what?” he asks. He moves through a routine quickly of safety checks like a learning driver would. He rolls up the open window and turns in his seat, gaze flitting between you and Sirius suspiciously. “Everything okay?”

“I think the Princess is a little anxious about leaving the country,” Sirius says. 

“Yeah?” James asks, eyes back to the windshield. He turns the key, and the car warms to life with a low roar. 

“A little.” You nudge the fridge closed with your foot. 

“What was that?” James asks. “Is that a fridge? Do me a favour, don’t drink any of that. I'll get you whatever you want at the airport.”

“She can’t have a bottle of water from the fancy jeep but airport drinks are fine?” Sirius laughs. 

“Spike one fridge’s worth or the entire supply chain?” James asks. 

“What if this assassin is inefficient?”

“Assassin?” you ask. 

James glares at Sirius. "There are no assassins, Princess. He's being ridiculous." He looks to you with a smile. "You have everything?" 

Your expression, a sickly grimace, has him giving pause. All fake smiles and dramatics fall away, and in its place is the genuineness you'd been met with last night. 

"Hypothetically," he says, "there are assassins. In reality, there absolutely are not. You're not in any danger, alright? Sirius is the master of badly timed jokes." 

"Okay," you say meekly. 

James nods and you buckle in, sitting back in the comfiest car seat you've ever sat in and turning your face to the window. You look up at your flat building, and as the car starts to move, it shrinks. You drive further and further away, until you turn a corner, and your life is out of view. 

—

James is worried about you. As an acquaintance, he's starting to think you're a worrying person. There isn't a whole lot of spark behind your eyes — you rival Remus for number of tired smiles. 

He wonders why you hadn't packed any of your art supplies. Your room is teeming with them. Even if you're correct and you aren't the Genovian princess after all, there's still a day or more before they can actually confirm that, and factoring in travel time, you won't be home for at least a week. A week without your sketchbooks and paints and pencils. 

As your bodyguard, as a bodyguard, James has always taken concern in his charge's overall health, mental and physical. You don't seem ill, but you do seem unhappy. 

"Are you afraid of flying?" he asks, hoping that will explain your distance. 

He stands less than half a foot from you. He'll allow you some more space just as soon as you're not in an airport. 

"I'm not sure," you say. 

Another peculiarity, you're a pathological liar. 

Okay, that's unfair. You aren't pathological — James is an excellent judge of character, as his job requires, and he's gotten good at profiling a person's motivations. Your motivation is to become the smallest version of yourself that you can be. Any possible imposition is set aside, such as your refusal of painkillers when your cheek can't not hurt. You refuse to inconvenience others. 

"Is there something I can do? To help you feel better?" 

You smile awkwardly. "Is that your job?" you ask, voice lilting upward with self-consciousness. 

"Kind of. You know, as soon as your paternity test is recognised, you could ask for just about anything. An assistant, as many assistants and attendants as you want. Your security will most certainly increase, especially when the Palace makes a statement." 

He notes your widening eyes and backtracks. "It's not really my job, but I wouldn't mind. If you think of anything, let me know." 

You hide your hands in the pockets of your hoodie. You're dressed as he advised, comfortably and nondescript. 

"Do you need anything from me?" you ask. 

He hides his surprise, eyes doing another lap of the semi-private waiting room he's ushered you into. He takes in business men, officials, and diplomats for the tenth time in half an hour. 

"I don't need anything from you, Princess. Thank you." 

"I don't want to make your job any harder than it is." 

"You haven't." 

"That's not true," you murmur, bruised cheek  toward the floor and away from view. 

"That was my fault," James says. "Not yours." 

He can feel the heat of your tears running down his index finger. 

"That was my mistake," he reaffirms. 

You don't answer, but James knows it isn't an agreeable silence. Which is fine, he isn't trying to dominate your opinion, would never assume he had the right to police what you're feeling. He wants to reassure you more than he strictly should. 

This might be harder than I thought, he thinks. 

"The flight is near enough three hours. You're sure you don't want anything to take with you? If you're worried about dietary restrictions, there's a salad bar in the Mastercard lounge. I'm sure we can get someone to make you something up." 

"I'm fine… Will you be hungry?" 

He laughs. "You really don't understand the employee employer dynamic, do you?" he asks, not unkindly. "You don't have to worry about me." 

He says it sweetly, careful to ensure you understand. He isn't telling you off. He's teasing you. 

He knows he's done a good job when you lift your head. 

"I don't think you can talk about employee employer dynamics," you say, eyes flitting downward to your cheek's bruise. 

He chuckles, eyebrows jumping up. "Oh, nice! That was a quick one. We'll make a Genovian of you yet, they're all sarcastic." 

"They? You aren't Genovian?" 

"Do I look Genovian?" he asks, gesturing to his face. You splutter. "I'm messing with you. No, I'm not originally from Genovia, but my heart is hers." 

"You've always lived there?" 

"Since I was two." 

Your expression dims. It takes James a second to connect the dots. 

"There are plenty of people living in Genovia who aren't native. Remus is Welsh, can you tell? His accent hasn't quite survived it." 

"You've met before? You all seem familiar." 

"We went to the same boarding school. Well, we actually shared a room. We-" He feels heat crest at his unprofessional phrasing. "We're best mates." 

"And you all get to be together," you say softly. 

"Yeah, we do. We're lucky. Before this, Remus was working as a royal tutor for the young elites, and Sirius was trying to micromanage Julianna. That's your cousin." 

"The Princess' cousin," you correct. 

"You brought us back together," he says. "You'll have to forgive me for hoping you are who they say you are." 

"Lily never really explained, how I- I mean, why they think it's me." 

"Well," he says, stepping closer to you still, and lowering his voice, "my assumption is that, because the Prince's passing was a freak accident, they hadn't really planned for any other successors yet."

"Well, what were they going to do? He'd pass on eventually." 

"I believe there were hopes he'd marry a Duchess." 

"And have a legitimate child." 

"Yes. You are, to the majority, a secret. The Prince would have been seventeen at the time of your conception, which is a royal scandal if I've ever heard one." 

"Seventeen?" you ask. 

"Lily didn't tell you any of this?" 

"Honestly, uh, she might have. I wasn't-" You clear your throat mildly. "Wasn't really listening? I had a pretty bad migraine at the time, and I was tired, you know?" 

"You were overwhelmed at finding out you're apprincess." 

"That I might be a princess." 

"Sure. When they told me I might be Prince of Italy, I had the same reaction." 

You wrinkle your nose at him, the most forceful thing you've done in his presence. He laughs a storm, only tamping it down when he remembers he's a  professional. 

Soon, the boys return from their airport traipsing. Remus makes a quiet comment on James' happy smile, and he pretends to zip his lips closed when they both spot Sirius' curious glances. James moves your entourage to a small aircraft, not private but almost, and you board into first class seats, two per each side of the aisle and partitioned by a sheet of frosted plexi-glass. 

You and James sit together. 

He doesn't subject you to conversation. He's technically working, and so while he relaxes into his seat and stretches out his tired legs, he doesn't cut vigilance. 

You look around in awe for some time. Eyes widened just slightly, lips parted, you sit up and sneak glances at everything you can. James knocks on the partition gently. 

"You want the fan? The heater?" 

"The fan," you say, and he supposes you do look a bit warm at the collar. "Please." 

He doesn't bother saying of course, or no worries, or no problem. He's a problem solver. If you're going to be under his watch, he's going to make it as easy on you as he can. That means letting you be thankful without shrugging it off. 

Your eyes close quickly. Your eyelashes flutter imperceptibly in the overhead fans slow breeze, and your lips part as you fall into sleep. Last night's disruption had been hard on you no doubt. He stands quietly and eases sideways down the aisle to check on Remus and Sirius inconspicuously. 

"Anything for me to read?" he asks Remus. 

Remus knows exactly what James is up to. If he appreciates or abhors the extra attention is anyone's guess, until he digs through the bag at his feet and pulls out one of his Russian philosophy novels with a smirk. "This or the newspaper." 

James takes the worn paperback with a wry look of defeat and reaches over and across to Sirius head of curls, tugging one cruelly. 

Sirius looks up, but is only irritable when he notices that it had been James, and not his seatmate. 

"What?" Sirius demands. 

"Do you need anything?" 

"No. Quit mothering. And maybe get some rest?" 

"I can't."

"You most certainly can. Swap out with Frank, or Mickey or someone." 

James swaps out with Mickey. Mickelson, please keep an eye on the entryway. Yes  boss. He returns, finding you aren't as asleep as he'd thought. You look at him through lashes. You've gone soft, in little regard for your appearance, and he's glad for it. Watching you is like watching a spring stretched tall, and now you've finally snapped into yourself and deflated. 

"You alright?" he murmurs. 

You nod, and he sits, and when he doesn't get up you fall asleep again, like you'd been waiting for him to get back. You sleep for hours, through turbulence, Sirius' roaring laughter, Remus' answering chuckles, and the flight attendant who scolds them. James wishes he could do the same, reading a mind-numbing forty pages of Russian literature densely translated and sipping on a glass of coke, the ache of an oncoming pressure headache pinching behind his eyes. 

The hubbub doesn't wake you. The plane lands, you sleep on. 

James whispers your name, quiet, speaking louder when you fail to rouse. Finally, he gives in and squeezes your shoulder. Heat radiates through the thick fabric of your hoodie. You hair is frizzy where it's rubbed against the seat behind you. 

You wake with a raspy cough. "James?" 

"We're here, Princess, in Genovia." 

"That was," —you yawn, turning to hide your face so he can't see— "fast." 

You look like you might fall asleep again. His heart does this awful little flip. He ignores it.

"It was hours. You've slept the whole time– A good thing, huh?" He bends down until you're face to face, an amicable gap between you as he squints at your bruise. He's close enough to share your breath. "Bruise is getting worse. Remus will give you painkillers, and I'm gonna get you an ice pack as soon as we're off the plane." 

He squeezes your shoulder again. "Up. Come on." 

You nod and rub your eyes, stretching in your seat. He averts his gaze and stands as tall as he can, shoulders hunched to avoid clipping his head. Remus has made no efforts to move yet and Sirius is in the aisle, pulling their bags into his arms. 

"Are you alright, Moony?" James asks. 

Remus has gone ashen. 

"He has a migraine." 

"Can you see okay?" James asks. 

Remus gets blurry, occluded vision when he gets these sudden migraines. He winces, hand over his eyes, and says, "Not really. Can I have your sunglasses?" 

"Yeah," James says, holding in the, of course you can, I'd genuinely die for you, that he wants to add. 

He slides his rucksack off of his shoulder and takes his sunglasses from the front pocket. He taps them into Remus' hand. 

"You'll have to touch up the Princess' bruise for me," Sirius says. 

James coughs. "What?" 

"It's easy–" 

"I'll take Remus," James says. 

"You can both go do your jobs, I'll be fine," Remus mutters, flinching at an invisible, biting pain. 

"No," they both deny. 

Remus doubles over. 

"All you have to do is stipple it," Sirius whispers fervently.

"Sirius, I don't know what stippling is." 

"Dots of makeup. She knows what shade we chose. Here, take my bag. There's a clean brush." 

Sirius smiles at James. Remus hasn't always let them take care of him. His disabilities have often made him the subject of disdain, pity, and misguided attention he has never, ever wanted, and he'd mistaken their friendship for lots of things at first. Nowadays, he accepts the help that he needs, help that his friend's are happy to give, and disregards their smothering overkill otherwise. That being said, Remus has always found it easier to accept help from Sirius than James. They all know it and none of them bother saying why that is aloud. 

Flying nearly but not quite privately means they can get off the plane whenever they're ready (within reason), and so James ushers you back into your seat where you'd been standing tentatively in the aisle and presents the little make up bag. He kneels in front of you. 

"I'll get the painkillers," he says, remembering his earlier promise, "Sirius is preoccupied, so. You're stuck with me on touch ups." 

"Is it bad?" 

"No. Does it feel bad?" 

Your slow response is telling. "No," you lie, "it's not that bad." You point at one of the colours through the clear case. "I think it was that one." 

"Thank you," he says, murmurs, opening the case. There's a brush tucked inside, and he picks it up clumsily. 

"Does he have a mirror?" you ask. "I can do it myself, if you want."

"If he does, he didn't give it to me. I promise not to mess you up too badly, Princess." 

James presses the brush into your chosen colour and pats. The concealer is harder than he'd thought it would be, tough under the brush. It all looks silly in his hands. 

"Lean your head back for me," he says softly. 

You tip your chin up. Your eyes close as he begins. 

He's too careful. The colour doesn't want to transfer. "Sorry," he murmurs, applying pressure. You wince but say nothing to stop him. "Tell me if it hurts too much." 

"It's only a bruise."

"You're allowed to be hurt. And you should be more angry with me." 

"It was an accident." 

"It was my mistake." He watches the bruise disappear under concealer, but the colour doesn't quite match your skin. He tries his best to blend out the edges. "A professional mistake, which means you're more than allowed to be annoyed." 

"I'm starting to think you want me to be mad," you say. You're trying not to move, and so each word is half a whisper. 

"I do. I want you to be furious. It's ten times harder to keep someone safe when they have no self-preservation." 

He gives up on the brush and uses his pinky, his cleanest finger, to smudge out the blocky colour he's left behind. Your skin is scorching under his touch. 

"So if I'm angry with you, that makes your job easier?" 

He hums. "Mh-hmm. Much easier." 

You hold your breath as he finishes up, a gentle patting motion as he was instructed. 

"How some girls do this every day," he mutters. 

"It gets easier." 

"Yeah?" He drags his pinky down your cheek without thinking. "Hopefully this is my last time. It looks fine. Maybe don't stop in direct sunlight." 

He collects all of his things and pulls the makeup bag into his chest, easing his way out into the aisle again. You follow. Everyone else has left, except for a pearly-smiled flight attendant, who's smile grows impossibly wider as they approach. 

"Everything okay today folks?" he asks. "How was your flight?" 

James offers thank-yous and guides you down the length of the plane to the exit. You're quiet from the plane to the steps, his hand ghosting your shoulder, to the tarmac, where your security entourage awaits. Including James there are eight bodyguards. Two stick close, five form a mock perimeter around you. 

"Unfortunately, you might draw attention from the protection detail alone. It's up to you, Princess, but I can hide your face." 

"Is that… dramatic?" 

"It's completely up to you. I don't think it's dramatic. Just depends on how comfortable you are with your face potentially being used somewhere." 

"Can I– Maybe I'll stay close," you say, pulling your hood up. 

"Yeah. Tell me if you're uncomfortable." 

He takes you by the elbow and you walk. There aren't any paparazzi waiting outside, and James thinks maybe the news of your arrival has escaped them, and you won't be exposed to the madness that is paps with a story like this one, until he sees Sirius and Remus waiting at the glass doors into the airport. 

"Can't we go around?" Sirius asks. 

"They have to check our passports, idiot," Remus says, with little malice. 

"You can fucking see them, mate," he says to James. 

James motions for you to stand where you are and crosses the gap to get a better look. Mickey takes his place by your side. 

"Fuck," he hisses, "what the fuck is that? Who fucking leaked?" 

"Should I be worried?" he hears you ask quietly. 

"Mickelson, give the Princess your sunglasses." 

"So yes, then," you say. 

James props open the door with his foot. "Princess, you're going first. They'll expect you in the middle. Hopefully that'll minimise what they can get." He holds out his arm. 

You slot perfectly underneath it. 

"Ready?" he asks. 

You don't look very ready. You nibble your lip and nod anyhow, tucking your face into his front. James walks you forward, into a storm of white flashes and shouting, the precipice of your new life.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter <3 please consider reblogging if you did, I'd love to know what you thought and what you want to see in the next one! and a happy new year !!!!

[corazondebeskar-reads]

no quiet on this earth

Joel Miller x f!reader

originally for Febuwhump 2024 Day 10 - killing in self defense | Febuwhump masterlist

words: 2.8k

summary: You and Joel run into hunters on patrol.

-- I'm a fucking menace, and this is Joel & reader from "you know you never stood a chance" (spoiler warning). BUT this can be read as a standalone. I just can't seem to help myself/let them go.

warnings: established relationship, jackson, patrol partners, hunters, Joel and reader both kill hunters, canon-typical violence, graphic descriptions of violence, lots of blood, oral (m receiving), p in v unprotected, creampie, feelings, guilt/trauma, trauma response, a little hurt and a LOT of comfort, Joel takes care of you, one (1) ass slap, pussy/clit spanking

dividers by @saradika-graphics

They had been waiting for you. Not the biggest group of hunters that’s come ‘round, but there hadn’t been any signs. It was supposed to be an easy half-day route. 

It was also your first patrol with Joel. 

You’re already off to a rough morning. He’s settled back into Out There Joel, gruff and tense, and you’re already feeling useless again even though you know you can handle it now. 

You’re on horseback, you with a gentle brown mare that you’re a little irritated about. Penny is notoriously slow and usually used to teach people to ride. Tommy taught you to ride ages ago, but Joel fucking insisted. 

“Ain’t havin’ you have to deal with a spooked horse our first time out.”

“Our first time. I’ve been out loads of times,” you grumbled. He leveled you with a look so stern that you rolled your eyes. 

“Don’t start with your smart mouth,” he said. “Only way this works is—“

“If I do what I’m told. I got it. Same shit, different place.” 

To say you’re pissed would be an understatement. You thought after all the shit you’ve been through that he’d trust you now. And you’ve gotten quite good with your revolver and halfway decent with the rifle. 

Now, out here on the trail to the safe house, neither of you has said a word. Just like the good old days. Y’know. If they had been good. 

You’re nearly there when they make their move. They don’t have guns, thank fuckin’ god, but there are five of them and two of you. 

It becomes quickly clear that they want the horses. Joel makes quick work of the first hunter that lunges for him. 

One comes at him from each side, and you’re too worried to notice the other two do the same to you. 

One grabs the reins and the other tries to yank you from the saddle. Your boots are stuck, and they don’t seem to particularly care if they break your legs during the extraction. 

You free your feet, boots left behind, and let the brick house of a man pull you down. He doesn’t care much about your landing, so when you hit the ground, you grapple for your revolver. 

His partner yells, and he spins back to you, a huge fist aiming for your face. But it doesn’t connect, because your bullet does first. 

He was close enough that it would have been near impossible to miss, which also meant that his stupid body landed on you, turning your clothes into a sponge for his blood. 

Joel’s rampaged through the others by now and turns to take down the one trying to abscond with your horse. 

But he doesn’t make the shot, because he freezes up when he sees you. 

“Get the fucking horse,” you yell. 

He swears and loads the rifle, one neat bullet into the head of the escaping hunter. He hadn’t fully mounted your mare yet, and his corpse crumples into the soft spring soil. 

Joel whistles and Penny takes her fucking time to come back, giving him a very unimpressed look and shaking her mane. 

He heaves the dead man off you. “Where?” he says sharply, eyes darting all over your body. 

“Nowhere, Joel, I’m fine,” you say. 

He’s already dropping to his knees, hands gripping and patting every inch of you before cradling your face. “You’re sure?”

“I mean, I think so. Unless I’m in shock, but I guess we’ll find out in a little bit.”

“Not funny, sweetheart,” he mutters, doing another check, slower this time and more thorough. 

You let him. You feel kind of funny, dizzy almost, but mostly just… muted. Like the world around you is muffled and you’re suddenly hyper aware of how blood is turning tacky and your jeans are stiffening as it dries. 

“Hey,” he snaps. 

You’re pretty sure that means he was already talking to you, and when you look up and meet his eyes, they abandon their irritation for concern beneath furrowed brows. 

“Sweetheart, listen to me,” he says, voice low and slow. It draws out the Texan twang and loops you in. “You’re okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you. You did what you had to do, okay?”

“Okay,” you echo, but the word sticks in your throat, tasting of copper. 

“Say it.”

“I did what I had to do.”

You’ve done as he said, but he looks more worried for it. 

“Alright, c’mon. I’m gettin’ you home.”

“But—“

“Rethink that, baby. I ain’t in the mood to argue.”

“But we were supposed to—“

“Yeah, and plans fuckin’ change. We’re going back. Tommy and I can come out and deal with the bodies later.”

He stands and pulls you up, though you follow willingly. You hover where you stand as he pulls a rope from his bag and tethers it to Penny’s lead. 

“What’re you doing?” 

“Want you on Oakley with me.”

“I can ride,” you snap. “I’m not fucking hurt.”

“I know,” Joel says. “But you’re gonna ride with me.”

“Don’t start this shit,” you say, mortified when your voice and hands are trembling. “I can handle myself.”

He spins around, fury written in the curl of his lip. “I fuckin’ know that! I don’t give a shit. You’re riding with me, end of fuckin’ discussion.”

You open your mouth, ready to bite back, but he seizes you by the shoulders and shakes you a little. 

“Don’t you fuckin’ get it? It’s not about you,” he snarls. You’re crushed against him before you realize it’s an embrace. “You’re gonna fuckin’ ride up here, so I know you’re okay.” 

“Oh,” you whisper, leaning into him. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” he says, but the fight is already leaving him. He presses a kiss to the top of your head before he lets go. “Now get on the damn horse before I put ya there myself.”

You think you deserve credit for only hesitating a little, tempted to see if he really would. But his jaw ticks and you heave yourself up onto Oakley. Joel swings himself behind you, caging you in as he takes the reins. 

“You’re so fuckin’ stubborn,” he gripes. 

“I learned it by watching you,” you say, voice pitched in mockery of the vague memory. 

But instead of irritation, something akin to relief flashes across his face. “Yeah, s’that right?”

“Uh-huh.” Now that everything has calmed, you’re exhausted. He can tell because of course he can. He knows you too well. 

“C’mon, lean back. I got ya. Not gonna let you fall.”

You don’t sleep, not really, but you fall into something between the light and dark. It’s blissfully absent of reality. You’re only aware of the soft sunshine, the sway of the horse, and Joel. 

Joel, your Joel, is everything right now. All encompassing. You’re surrounded by his warmth and smoky musk, masking the chill and tang of the stains on your skin. 

His heart seems to beat in time with Oakley’s hooves and the steady pace he encourages keeps you lulled in this safest place. 

“Holy shit, what happened?” Carl asks at the gates, almost loud enough to knock you from your peace. 

“Nothin’ too serious, she ain’t hurt,” Joel’s smooth tone settles you back down. “But do me a favor and get the horses back? Send Tommy my way in a while. I’m gonna take her home.”

Home. It sounds so nice. But you’re already there, you want to tell him. There’s nowhere you’d rather be than right here. 

You must actually say it, because he chuckles. “Okay, sweetheart, but I can think of somewhere I’d rather be.”

It hurts a little before he leans in and murmurs in your ear. 

“I’d rather be in a warm bath with ya. That sound better than stayin’ put?”

“Oh,” you say. “Yeah, you’re right. Way better idea.”

He makes good on his promise when you get home. While he draws the water, he peels your ruined clothes off and sits you on the bathroom counter to rinse the blood into the sink. 

You sit very still with your eyes clenched shut as he cleans you. 

“I know,” he murmurs. “First one’s the hardest.”

You can’t quite stopper the whimper. 

“This is part of why I don’t like ya goin’ out there. I can’t protect you from this.” The admission costs him, but he seems to decide it’s worth it when you look up at him. 

The tub isn’t really big enough for both of you, but he makes it work, long sprawling limbs propped up to make room for you against his chest. You lie on your side, both to make more room and to press your ear to his chest and listen to his strong, tender heart. 

He holds you there, hand gentle on your head and the other around your shoulder until neither of you can pretend the water is comfortable still.  More importantly, his cock’s been pressing against you for a little while now, and you’re unable to ignore it anymore.

You roll over on your stomach, legs bent a little funny to fit, but it’s the right angle to press a kiss to the fat mushroom head that you love so much. 

“Sweetheart, you don’t need—”

But you just give him a look, because he knows better, he knows you’d never do anything you don’t want to. And he knows how often you crave it, how your throat aches for it.

He raises his hands in surrender. “I sure as hell ain’t gonna stop ya.” 

With the convoluted seating arrangement, you’re able to swallow down his length, working your throat open in the way you’ve grown to know well. It’s a lot at once, but the way he groans is worth the effort. 

You choke and gag a little, but neither of you are really bothered by it. Quite the opposite. And you’re grateful for the way the thoughts you don’t want to face are knocked from your brain each time he ruts deeper. 

Too soon, though, he’s pulling you off, spit thick with precum stringing between him and your lips as you whine.

“C’mon, let’s get out. I gotta have more of you.”

You don’t dry off quite as much as you’d like, but you’re probably going to need to change the sheets anyway. He can’t be bothered to let you towel off properly, picking you up and setting you on the bed before crawling over your body.

He kisses you, ferocious but hesitant, and you trail your hands up his arms, basking in the way he encompasses you for the second time today. His soft, powerful body leaves no wiggle room, practically pinning you down with his bulk. 

Except he’s holding himself up, tense. And the gentleness of his tongue and distinct lack of nipping teeth in his kiss is grating. 

You turn your head to break apart. “Stop acting like I’m gonna fall apart.” 

“I—”

“Oh, don’t even. It’s like you think I’m going to break if you touch me.”

“I didn’t want to make it feel like…”

“I know,” you say, softer. “But I want to feel you, Joel. I don’t want to feel the ghost of it… him. Please.” 

“You wanna feel me, sweetheart? Want me to be a little rough with ya?” 

“Unless you’re too tired. S’it past your bedtime, old man?” 

He doesn’t fall for the taunt, but he pretends to, and you’re deeply grateful as he snarls and bites at your breast before licking and sucking at your nipple, taking it between his teeth and shaking a little. 

“Oh, fuck,” you moan, hand tangling into his hair. He wears it a little shaggier these days, and you find you like it long. A lot. 

“Think you can take it just like this?” he says around your other nipple. The hand that isn’t holding him up has reached down to his cock, rubbing it against your clit until you squirm, and then dragging it down your slit. “You’re fuckin’ soaked. I think you can take it.”

He doesn’t wait any longer than the first little nod of your head before he flicks his hips, parting you, forcing your body to make room for him. It takes a second thrust to push all the way in, and you cry out as he stuffs you full. 

It hurts so good. It’s just the edge you need to feel awake again. The world is no less fuzzy but the haze is pleasurable and electric instead of the numb fog that refused to dissipate. 

“That’s my girl,” he says. 

It floods you with warmth. You think maybe the sappiness is leaking through, that he can see how stupidly in love you feel. 

Or, you know, it’s actually leaking, since you’re apparently fucking crying. You can’t really begrudge yourself for it. It’s been a hell of a day. 

“There you go,” he murmurs, the gentleness of his voice playing second to the harsh slap of his hips and the tight pinch of his fingers on your breasts. “Let it out, sweetheart. Let me help you.” 

His pace, somehow, intensifies, the brutal snap of his cock blunt against the softest parts of you. He pushes your legs to your chest so he can shove his way in deeper, and smacks a harsh hand against your ass from his new vantage point. 

He grips your hip with one hand and lets up on your tits, only to show no mercy to your clit. He skips over the gentle circles and soft strokes, instead pinching and tugging. He wrenches two orgasms from you before he eases off. 

“Hold your pussy open for me,” he grunts.

You look at him with wide eyes. How can he still be finding ways to shock you with depravity? The two of you have to have fucked every which way, and yet. You slide a hand down but he shakes his head.

“Both of ‘em, baby. Nice and wide.” 

Your cheeks are burning as he lifts up onto his knees, pushing your legs apart to watch as you spread your lips wide. For a moment, he’s mesmerized by the push and pull of his cock splitting you apart and the way it comes out a little slicker each time. 

“Look at that,” he says, a smug smirk spreading. “Fuckin’ creamin’ all over me, sweetheart. Now hold still.”

Before you really process the order, still dying from how hot his filthy words are, he slaps your clit. You jerk and let go, crying out more in surprise than pain.

“Put your fuckin’ hands back,” he says, and you obey. 

Your whole body is on fire, maybe. He brings his hand down sharply again and again, making you hold yourself spread wide for him to use as he pleases. 

It doesn’t really surprise either of you when you come. He finally knocks your hands away from your cunt and leans back down over you, hips stammering sloppily. 

“Can I—” he chokes out, and you’re nodding so hard it shakes your brain around. He digs his fingers into your hips. “C’mon, sweetheart, one more. Gimmie one more while I fill you up.”

He goes to reach for your clit, but it doesn’t matter. As soon as he starts twitching and pulsing inside you, you come, eyes rolling back and fingernails digging into his biceps. 

When you’ve both settled, there’s something bright in his eyes, something wild and dangerous. He sinks his teeth into your collarbone and doesn’t pull out. His softening cock isn’t much smaller than it is erect, and he stays buried deep in you, eyes trailing over your face. 

“What?” you say softly.

“I thought… thought I fuckin’ lost you today.” His voice is gruff but tight.

“You didn’t, Joel. M’right here.”

He kisses you, and it’s not gentle exactly, not like earlier, but it’s tender and demanding. His hands grip you and roam, not pursuing pleasure but just to have his fill of you, to feel your body warm and alive beneath him. 

When he breaks away from your swollen lips, he presses a kiss to your forehead. “You did good. I don’t like it, but you did good. I’m not gonna ask you not to go out again, but—”

“I’m gonna ask Tommy if I can have a break,” you say, pursing your lips. “I’m not a coward, but I don’t know if I can do that again.” You’re burning again, but this time with shame.

“No one expects you to. It doesn’t mean you’re a coward. You’re tough, sweetheart. But y’ain’t a killer.”

“I am, though,” you whisper. 

“Stop. Yes, you killed that man today. But you had to. It was him or you. You’re a survivor. But I’m going to make damn sure you don’t have to be anymore, alright? We’re safe here, now.”

You let out a ragged sigh and try to relax back into the pillow. “Okay,” you agree. You can tell he needs it. How scared he was. 

At least for now, you’ll let him protect you from this.

*title from "Death For My Birthday" by Say Anything

[rotonalhaitham]

Alhaitham - Mission Accomplished (NSFW)

Alhaitham x Reader x Kaveh

I love kaveh yall I'm gonna start to sob,, also i tried my best to make reader gn but ehh I guess it didn't work

Warnings: NSFW!!!!!! Threesome, dacryphillia, prn with plot (i think?? Idfk), overstimulation,reader was called a princess, not proof read as usual , the ending was rushed because my eyes hurt from looking at the monitor, I'm very sleepy as I write this so expect grammatical errors and typos (lemme know if i missed a warning) (im fighting myself whether I should post this or not, but tommorow is monday i need to post something or else i wouldn't post at all arghh)

Broken hearted.

You thought confessing to your long time crush was a good idea. Turns out, it wasn't. Before even approaching him you saw a girl in his arms, failing to call out his name. Your heart shattered like broken glass. It took all your courage to have confidence and to confess to your crush, suddenly all of those courage disappeared into thin air.

You go home to your shared apartment. Where your architect and feeble scholar roomates are waiting for you.

They were a bit surprised and disappointed after seeing you on the front door just a few minutes after you left. You we're also sobbing while you stood there, looking down on the floor.

Kaveh and Alhaitham looked at each other with a knowing look. They already knew what happened, and instantly ran towards you to comfort their roommate.

Kaveh opened his arms at you. Slowly, you hug him, sobbing in his arms more. The blonde haired architect tightly embraced you. He gave you a peck on your forehead and ran his long and slender finger through your hair.

"Hush now... I knew that boy wasn't worth your time. Tsk."

Said Kaveh with anger in his voice. Behind him, Alhaitham nodded.

"Don't worry darling, we're here for you."

Alhaitham added.

--------

Now sitting on the bed, you're still sobbing, but not as intense as earlier. Your roommates did a pretty good job calming you, as they embraced you, gave you your favorite tea, cooked your favorite food, they did everything for your comfort.

Kaveh seemed to notice that you calmed down, so he sat beside you and softly smiled.

"Feeling better, princess?"

He whispered and placed one of his hand on your cheeks. You quickly leaned on his warm hand and nodded to answer his question.

You felt the bed dip as Alhaitham sat beside you and heared his voice.

"That's good to know. But we still have something to offer for you."

"Mhm.. Oh, we couldn't handle seeing you weeping about someone not worth your time..."

Kaveh's voice sounded huskier than before.

"You deserve better darling, and we promise to treat you better."

Alhaitham said.

He placed his hands on your hips making you gasp. Kaveh was getting closer to your face, his thumb rubbing your lips gently. Your breathing was getting heavier and heavier as the tension in the air thickened.

"Just relax, and we'll do the rest."

You can feel Kaveh's warm breath as your faces are only inches away. His half-lidded eyes were nothing but full of lust. His soft lips slowly touched yours, and it felt amazing. The kiss was wet and sloppy, but neither of you wanted to stop.

Your head was turning from what is currently happening. You can't deny your stomach feeling butterflies from their touches, and your underwear getting wet.

Meanwhile, Alhaitham started to pepper your neck with light kisses. It made you moan from the kiss and leaned more into Alhaitham. Getting impatient, the grey haired scholar started to devour your skin. He bit, licked, and left marks on your neck. This made you aroused more, causing your sex to throb from their kisses.

The kiss between you and Kaveh ended with a string of saliva between your lips and his. You both needed to breathe, sadly. But you couldn't stop whining because of Alhaitham's kisses.

"Gosh... Your lips are softer than I thought they'd be.. Fuck."

Kaveh's words did nothing but help you feel aroused more.

Alhaitham from behind tugged your shirt upwards, signaling for you to help him take off your shirt. You obliged, revealing your naked top. The grey haired man didn't waste anytime and immediately massaged your breast from behind. Playing with your nipples, he continued to lap your neck and mark them with bites and hickeys. Your head leaned back to Alhaitham's shoulders from the pleasure, a few soft moans escaping your mouth.

Kaveh seeing your state, he didn't want to just watch there, he tugged your pants down, leaving only your underwear. He went down to kiss your legs, making you moan a bit louder. He started to kiss from your leg motioning up to your inner thighs. It made your back arch and your legs trying to close, but Kaveh's hands were stopping them. He licked and bit your thighs, until he reached the real deal.

Still wearing your underwear, yet Kaveh didn't care. He started to lick through the wet piece of cloth and didn't stop. Your moans getting louder ever swipe of his tounge. You moaned his name, eyes rolling back. The pleasure being strong, you instinctively grabbed his hair.

"You seemed to be enjoying yourself darling."

Alhaitham chuckled.

The two can't deny the tightening of their pants and the desire to ruin you. But they couldn't just do that, this moment is for your pleasure. Maybe they'll ruin you next time.

Kaveh removed your underwear after feeling satisfied with his licks. Your hips jolted only by feeling his hot breath on your sex. The blonde gave your throbbing sex a big and long lick. He then sucked your juices dry.

While eating you out, Kaveh inserted two fingersin your hole, going in and out adding more pleasure. He curved his fingers, hitting sweet spots. You couldn't help but moan his name. His dark red eyes gazing deliciously at you, admiring how he's the reason why you're moaning so loudly.

It didn't took long till you release on the blonde's face. He licked his fingers that we're just inside of you, not breaking eye contact.

"Do you feel good?"

Alhaitham asked as he shifted your body to face him, making your back face Kaveh.

You didn't got to answer as Alhaitham slammed his lips onto you. Meanwhile, Kaveh taking out his hard rock cock and giving it a few strokes before placing his tip on your entrance. He rubbed his tip up and down as you and Alhaitham make out.

Finally pulling out of the kiss, the grey haired man kissed and savored your body down, 'till reaching your quivering sex.

Alhaitham started to eat you out just like Kaveh did. But hell did Alhaitham's tounge felt better than Kaveh's, as it is much more longer.

Kaveh suddenly entered your hole slowly while Alhaitham worked in your front. The pleasure is too strong it made you sob continously.

Kaveh's cock fully inside, he started to thrust, his hands on your hips as Alhaitham licked and sucked in the front.

The pleasure is too good your eues we're rolling back and your back arching as you almost drool. You certainly did not expect this turn of events.

Kaveh's thrust started to fastened up but sloppier, and Alhaitham started to jerk his cock as he devoured your sex. You we're close, and so are they. You can feel Kaveh's cock throbbing and Alhaitham whining, the three of you didn't want to stop, getting closer to your own each climaxes.

The room was filled with wet sounds, aswell as moans from the three of you.

A few thrust and suck after, the three of you finally came.

"Did you enjoyed our offer.. Princess?"

Kaveh managed to mumble even after what happend.

Your couldn't comprehend what he was saying from the overstimulation, and felt your body heavier than before. Without being aware, you fell asleep on Kaveh's arms.

"Look, they're already sleeping.. So cute.."

Alhaitham chuckled at your state and caressed your face.

From all the juices that came out from you, they assumed you felt better than before. Mission Accomplished.

[angelltheninth]

Meeting of Fates

Pairing: Vax'ildan x Reader

Tags: fluff, meet cute, flirting, teasing, lots of innuendos

Word count: 0.8k

A/N: I can't handle Vax being sad so this is how I will make myself feel better.

The tavern was always crowded and loud at this time of night, yet there was something about this one that felt more energetic then the rest. You observed quietly from behind the bar, taking in all the current patrons sitting, drinking, talking and laughing around their tables.

The atmosphere was the same as any other night. A little rowdy, loud, and very cheerful from the sound of constant tunes played by the bards. So what was this feeling crawling down your spine that had you in an invisible hold since your shift started?

You haven't pissed anyone off lately. You think. Hope.

"What's a man gotta do to get a drink around here?" Your focus was shifted from the glass in your hand to the tall, dark half-elf before you. He was leaning against the bar on one elbow, the other hand propped up on his hip and a cocky, and quite charming smile on his face.

He looked familiar but you couldn't quite place him. He was definitely here before though. You don't forget a face like that.

"Pay. Like everyone else." You answered unamused and set the empty, clean glass in front of him, "So what'll it be."

"Something befitting of a someone with my roughish charm if you please." He winked at you and tapped his fingers lightly on the counter.

"Tall, dark and sexy?" You threw his flirt right back at him, pretty experienced in flirting like this, "I may have something but it's pricey. Can you handle that?"

His eyes lit up in recognition of a challenge, a game, "I can handle anything you have."

You raised a brow, looking him over. He didn't look like he was hurting for money that's sure but he didn't look like he was swimming in gold coins either. You handed out your hand, "10 gold."

All the light seemed to drain from his eyes at the amount, "10? Gold?" You nodded. He slowly reached into his pocket and put down 20 silver coins, "I've got this and whole lot of enthusiasm. I'm sure we can settle on a smaller price."

"I never settle for anything small." You ran your finger suggestively over the length of the glass in front of you.

"Then you should avoid Scanlan." He added, his good spirits coming back. He looked down at your hand and repeated your gesture over the glass, "Come now, I'm sure we can figure things out. Just lower it a little for me. I guarantee I can pay you back, make it worth your while."

You sighed, "Look handsome, I'm sure you're amazing but if I gave every pretty person who walked in here low prices I'd have two things: a broke business and whole lot of notches in my bed. So far business if going good and I'm not desperate enough for the second one." You picked the glass back up and pointed it at him, "You're a regular so I'll let this one slide, you either order or you go back to... what ever table you sat at."

"How do you know I'm at one of your regulars?"

"Because you have a face that's too hot to forget." You answered honestly and reached for a cheaper bottle.

He winked at you again, his confidence now back in full force, "I could say the same to you. Why do you think I walked over here? Just to get a drink. Nah, I wanted to chat you up a little. Go ahead, no more tricks from me, just make me something tasty." His tongue rolled around the last word, eye brows wiggling as he slid the payment across the counter to you.

"I'm glad you understand. You're sexy but I have a business to run." You prepared his drink quickly and waited for him to reach for the glass, "But after I could give you a run." You whispered. His ears twitched at your words, and maybe another body part you couldn't see. You liked to think that it did.

He hummed, keeping eyes locked with you as he sipped his drink, "If you're as sweet as this drink then I'm looking forward to closing hours. By the way, the name's Vax."

Vax. A quick and easy name to remember. "Then I'll see you in a few hours Vax."

"I can hardly wait. Oh, and, what's this drink called?" Vax looked at the dark liquid swirling in his glass, tasting of chocolate and cherries.

"A Little Death." You answered with a big smirk.

"Tasty. I hope to have it again later." He raised the glass at you before giving you a little bow and turning to go back to his table. They seemed like a rather lively bunch over there.

Who knew your night would be going so damn well? Must be fate.

[bubbleguppyyy]

Encapsulated in Time

Bucky x Fem! reader

>Here's some angst :)<

Story Synopsis: Bucky knew something was missing from his memories. Something important, something special. He had tried everything to try and recover what it was, but he never could grasp anything. However, he never expected to find those missing memories in a file and an old box of videotapes

Bucky wasn't quite sure how much he enjoyed the life of the Avengers.

Steve was always there for him of course and he continuously checked on Bucky even after he would say he was perfectly fine.

They both knew he wasn't.

Bucky didn't like missions as much as Natasha or Tony did but he still went on them to try and be a part of the team, or something like that.

Steve always told him that he didn't have to. He had a choice now. He could say no, but Bucky still wasn't sure how to do that. How did he make decisions on his own?

Bucky slowly started making friends with everyone (Sam was taking some time). He bonded with Natasha over knives and even with Bruce over yoga classes to soothe anger.

But, he couldn't help but feel something very big was missing from his memory. Bucky remembered a lot of his missions and times when he happened to snap out of the soldier. There were these feelings he couldn't quite place. Longing? Anguish? Why was he feeling these emotions? And why did they come along with the scent of Rosemary?

When the Avengers decided to take a day off, they were hoping not to hear from Fury. Of course, they knew that the man would probably call later tonight with a mission but they certainly did not expect him to walk into the compound with an old box and a file.

"Barnes, I thought I would deliver these myself. Be thankful because my team almost threw them away." Fury set the box on the coffee table in the middle of the common room and gave the file to Bucky.

He held the file, dumbfounded. Bucky had no idea what Fury was talking about. They almost threw what away?

"I can tell you have no idea what I'm talking about. Good thing I saved these. Anyway, as we know, you disappeared from Hydra roughly around 1973 to 1978."

Bucky gave a look to Steve, silently asking if he knew what this was about. Steve shrugged, also looking very confused.

"Fury, why don't you just get to the point?" Natasha asks, trying to seem nonchalant but by the way she's twirling that knife, she's also intrigued.

"I agree with the Widow, Fury. We're all dying to know what's in the box."

Tony is leaning on the armrest of the couch, sipping on a glass of his expensive whiskey. He's grinning at Fury's annoyed look at all of them.

Fury sighs, "I had some agents looking into some things in Greece and they happened to find the box in an old apartment building. The owner said that she remembered you and that she always kept your stuff, hoping you'd come back by to get it."

A flash of a small, middle-aged woman that smelled of butterscotch and had a smile like the sun goes through Bucky's head. He can almost feel the breeze coming from the open windows, the sheer curtains flowing with it.

"I think you should just look in the box yourself, Barnes. Let the memories come back slowly."

With that, Fury quickly left, mumbling about how he needs to find someone to work on patience with the Avengers.

Bucky blankly stared at the file in his hands. He was almost afraid of what he would find. A feeling of dread runs through him and he wants to throw up. He can't remember anything but it's almost like his body knows that whatever is in this file and box, it's going to ruin him.

Steve sits next to Bucky, watching his reaction.

"You don't have to open it right now Buck. You can take some time to process if you'd like. We can leave the room." Steve looked at everyone, hoping they would get the hint, but none of them did. They were too curious.

Bucky just shook his head and swallowed the bile in his throat. He would rather have his friends there. He wasn't sure how he was about to handle this.

Bucky grabbed the edge of the file, preparing to open it. Everyone was on the edge of their seats. This would explain so much to Bucky.

He took and deep breath and opened it.

The first thing he saw was a picture of you, smiling as you rested your head on your palm. The sound of your laugh rang in Bucky's ears, the scent of Rosemary filling his nose. Your name was next, he remembered saying it over and over again, just because he liked the sound of it. Your birthday was next and then-

Status: Deceased. Executed by The Winter Soldier.

>Should I make a part 2?<

[itsajanea]

A Spark Beneath Hearts

Written by @itsajjanea

Idea of creation and illustrated by @lizaluvsthis

Summary: A young fairy prince embarks on a dangerous quest to save his sister from the Dark Overlord of the Dark forest . Once he and the Overlord had finally met, they had a rocky start but as the prince could see through all the darkness, what he saw was something he didn't expect. But after all, good or bad, Things aren't always what they seem.

Chapter 1: Only Fools Rush in....

As Smg4 turns around to see where the sound was coming from, he saw his beloved Tag6. As he looks at her beautiful face, all his troubles and worries fades away into a soft smile.

He slowly flaps his wings as he started to lift off the ground and headed towards the meadow.

As Smg4 flies closer, he starts to notice the lavender scent that surrounds the entire meadow and he was captivated by her beauty, her voice, her kindness to the creatures and flowers that surrounded her.

Tag6 suddenly notices Smg4 approaching and called out to him.

Oh how he loves hearing her call his name like that~

As he sets foot on the ground and runs towards her, closing his eyes as goes for a hug and a kiss, he felt something smooth and soft against his lips. As he opens his eyes, her finger was against his lips, blocking him from giving any kind of affection.

"Nuh-uh, not until after the wedding" she says in a flirty tone, she smirks seeing the reaction of her "lover".

"Right, Sorry." Smg4 takes a step back, embarrassed and flustered.

"How are you today my love?" Tag6 asked as she steps closer to brush off the dirt of his clothes and picks out every leaf and twig that did not belong in his luscious hair.

"Well I'm doing great, I'm just exited for our special da-" He stops as he heard her gasp very loudly.

While Tag6 was removing the debris in his hair, she noticed a twig stuck in his hair that seemed even more out of place than the others. It looked like it was from the...

"YOU WENT INTO THE BORDER FOREST?????" She grabbed him by the collar and yelled at him, scaring away the little creatures that they were once surrounded by.

She was shaking the poor blue fairy back and forth until she let go and turned away as Smg4 falls down onto the soft grassy ground.

"The plan will fail if HE dies, Everything I worked for would be all for nothing!!!!" as Tag6 was frustrated, they had said that out loud and had forgotten about the fact that her "dearest" Smg4 was still here.

Smg4 quickly got up after he fell.

"Wait, What?"

As Tag6 heard him spoke, she looked back to see her prince just staring at her, confused with what she just said.

"I uh-" Tag6 had to think fast. If she lets this slip even further, then the plan would already have failed for real and there is no way she would want to fail her MASTER.

"I mean- How could I possibly live without you?" She throws herself onto Smg4, slightly bending over a bit to seem smaller, placing her hands on his chest as she lets out fake tears.

She sees this working because of him getting flustered and turning red like a strawberry.

Smg4 had immediately forgotten what Tag6 said earlier and gave a her a big hug as he rests his head against her soft hair, enjoying this moment, until he snaps back to reality.

"Oh! Don't worry about me!" As he stops hugging her, he wipes away her tears and gave her a sweet smile.

"I can handle myself you know? I'm big and strong like a bear" He smirks as he raises his arms like he was a grizzly bear.

As Tag6 looked at him with a blank stare, she suddenly burst out laughing.

"Oh 4, you are just like a teddy bear..." She gets closer to him once again, bringing down his arms as she holds his hands.

"~My Teddy Bear~" she softly says as she gives him a sweet smile.

"Heh, I guess I am your Teddy Bear aren't I?" he returned the gesture with a smirk as he pulls her close. They both lifted their wings as they started soar in the sky together, swaying to a calm melody.

"I can't believe we get to spend the rest of our life together" they both smiled at each other, enjoying the moment.

"OH RIGHT! The Wedding, I have to get ready and I will see you later!" Tag6 suddenly let's go of Smg4's hands, she turns arounds and starts flying the opposite direction. She looked back at the blue fairy and blows him a kiss before flying away.

Smg4 catches the kiss and held it close to his chest, he was blushing as he happily sighs just thinking about her...

"Smg4? SMG4!!!" He suddenly snapped back to reality. and as he turns around he saw his sister Tari, looking at him with great concern and panic. She quickly flew over to him to see if he was fine, She starts asking many questions as she flies around him, making poor Smg4 get a bit dizzy.

"Where have you been? What were you doing?? What Happened to your clothes??? UGH, What is That?!?!?" Tari points at the stinky bouquet behind Smg4's back.

"It's for Tag6- Oh no, I forgot to give them to her." He looked at Tari with sad eyes as She snapped her fingers for Beeg to appear.

"Oh you are so not giving THAT to her..." Tari said as she grabs the bouquet and held it up in the air as Smg4 tries to take it back.

"Why not?" "Because she's perfect, She deserves the best so that's why its got to be perfect!"

"You're right." He lets out a happy sigh as twirls around in the air.

Beeg then takes the bouquet away not before he clearly showed his disgust to it. Tari fixes his hair and clothes, Smg4 spoke up, asking a simple question.

"Hey Tari, do you think she loves me just as much as I love her?"

As Tari had just finished placing the flower crown on his head, she responded.

"Of course she does! That's why you two are getting married!" She places her hand on his shoulder to give some comfort, as he smiled back, they heard a loud "EUGH" coming from Beeg as he got a new bouquet.

Smg4 got excited as he grabbed the bouquet from Beeg.

"Thank you Beeg, Its perfect! I want to give this to her now!"

He starts to fly off to direction his love went, ignoring Tari and everything else.

"But Wait! Wouldn't it be bad luck if you see her?" as soon as she yelled, it had been too late because Smg4 had already rushed off.

Oh no.....

As Smg4 was happily soaring through the sky, holding the bouquet tightly in his hands as he passes through obstacles to finally see his dearest Tag6.

He landed on a small cliff to rest his wings for a bit, and he finally saw her.

She looked so beautiful in that dress, he couldn't believe they were going to get married.

He almost called out her name before noticing a dark cloaked figure stepping out the shadows.

He couldn't hear what they were saying but he saw something that shook him to his core.

As watched closely, he sees Tag6 leans close to the mysterious figure and gave them.... a kiss?

No...It couldn't possibly be...

He couldn't bear to accept it, especially when he saw his "beloved" smiling back at the other person after backing out from that kiss...

No... How- How could she...

As the young prince struggled to say anything, he could feel tears flowing down his face, he could feel his heart shattering at that moment. The woman he loved for so long, was just playing him like a fiddle.

Smg4 couldn't take it anymore, he dropped the bouquet and stomped on it, just like how she stomped on his heart.

He turns away from them, trying to hold back his tears even further as flies away.

How could he ever love again?

As the poor fairy flies away crying, Tag6 finally took notice of the pair of familiar blue wings and his wailing sobs, fading in the distance.

".......Crap"

She had messed up, and she definitely won't hear the end of it from...

End of Chapter

----------------------------------------------------

Previous Chapter : Prologue

Next Chapter: Chapter 2: New Rules

[vumming]

alice in borderland — imagine w/ the male characters

contents : friends to lovers, mini story, suggestive af, kinda soft, nsfw ( for mature audiences only )

I HAD THE STRONG URGE TO TYPE "good girl/boy" anyway I'm going back to work.

“Can I tell you something? I've liked you since the beginning.”

Thump.

Thump.

“As do I.”

Lust. It burns every fiber of rationality the more you try to extinguish it. Love, it creeps as slow as it can, and cannot be identified before it is too late.

Like—why do you like him? You find yourself wondering as you gaze upon the man before you. A friend, you once called him. There was a reason for the closeness and connection you both had built.

Too close or too loose?

This friendship that's budding another flower—was it even platonic at the beginning?

Deep breath, tight heart, throbbing feels. Hands coming to cover your budding arousal. His hand grazed your neck, stopping—and you pray to anyone who can hear that he cannot hear your quick breathing and rapid heartbeat.

“Are you nervous?”

It was supposed to be an innocent hang out, a movie at his place. but it seems fate has other things at hand.

Intentional. Fiery palm trailing from the side of your neck, down to your shoulder, stopping to your arm. “Am I making you nervous?” His whisper is tickling on your ear.

“Since back then,” He blows a small puff on your ear and you can feel him smile as you flinch at the sudden air, “I've been dreaming of having you as my own.” Calloused hand drags sideways, meeting in the middle, where your collarbone is.

He taps, “And now, I have you for myself.”

The other, makes it way to your stomach, “Would you like me to stop?”

ㅤ

ㅤ

ㅤ

“No.”

And he grins. “Your wish, is my command.”

ㅤ

ㅤ

Loose yourself to the rhythm.

Feel the thunderous beat of every veins and breath in the magic. In a world so constricting, it's no wonder everyone must go out and let it all out.

Lips all over your skin and blazing contacts of warm hands travel, further and further. Pads of the fingers pin down all of the spots that sends ecstasies of shivers, mewl of pleasure and groan of satisfaction. The noise from the outside world simply became a background buzz as your hearing became static, too lost in the euphoric treasure it gives.

“Enjoying yourself, hun?” he purrs, wet lips drawling lines across your navel, eyes dropping to your expression as he drown and feels himself immersed in the constant change of your face.

“Don't stop..”

His throat swells and release a breathless chuckle, lifting himself from his position to close in on your dazed look. “Oh I won't.” Head tilted with a smirk lining his features.

“But I do want to hear you beg.”

His fingers drags themselves painfully slow in your walls and you find yourself panting at the feeling. “Please.” Whimper comes out of your lips, trying hard to chase release.

But in and out, he sticks to his words. “I can't hear you, louder.” The ministration halt right in time as his voice comes out, “Please.. Please Don't stop!”

He huffs in amusement, resuming the work as he closes the distance, chaste and quick steal of a kiss before they go down, down, down.

“Good.” He drawls.

He lick a stripe on the middle of your chest, “That's my pretty baby, always listenin' to me.”

Higher, faster, quick—light dims and spots began to appear, how many times have you done it? How much time has passed? You couldn't tell, not with how hot the room is, how warm his mouth is, how precise his touches are.

Everything is nothing, and this, became everything. “You earn it, don't you?” Words utter lightly with pants in-between. “My pretty baby, all spread out like this.”

“I'm kind to you because you're too pretty for me to handle, yeah?” But you couldn't reply. Bite. Not enough to draw addictive red, but enough to cause a bit of flame on your chest.

Suck. It's soothing, your perception of stimulation went high, blurry as they can get. Skin touch sensitive for the past hours it has started.

“Don't you..” It's a bit jumbled, the words, and he seems to have realized, popping off of your chest with a satisfied look on the mark before they trail down, “Don't you fall asleep on me now before we finish, a'ight?” He chuckles, fingers wet in slick and fluids, “After all.”

“We still have more to try.”

[cupids-chamber]

2023/08/23

I'll be on my way now, I'm closing down all my other blogs and ask bin. I'd prefer if no one reached out to me during this time.

I'll be active on my Wattpad account if I feel like writing from time to time, (I'd also like to finish what I started) I've also made an AO3 account, in case I post anything. I plan on posting my Concubine series & Circus au works there as well.

(More info below the undercut)

Hi! This may come of as a shock, and I try not to get too open on this blog, but a month, or so ago. I posted about how I might have DID. (I did extensive research on DID, and reached out to my cousin who had DID for help, and though I will not self diagnose, I match almost all if not all the symptoms for it.)

This Cupid persona has developed into someone of it's own, and I don't feel like I'm the same person as before, and in all honesty I genuinely don't even know who I'm anymore. It's hard for me to focus on my health and mental health, along side simple tasks and even hobbies like writing which I love.

I will say coming into tumblr, the past two years caused me more harm then good. I've realized that though I came into this app being extremely s*icidal and interacting with the users here have made me feel better about myself. It has caused many negative impacts, and I can confidently say that due to me obsessing over writing on time or everyday for tumblr, I've developed an eating disorder of sorts, and recently it seems my body is rejecting food as a whole.

I love writing, and I love that people enjoy my writing, sadly it's the cause of a lot of health issues, mentally and physically. And though I still write from time to time, recently typing or writing by hand makes me feel awful and it's not like those usual burn outs.

I feel like crying as I'm typing this up, and a lot of people may call me dramatic for this but I genuinely feel a pit in my stomach when I go on this app it's not even funny anymore. This blog itself has caused me so much trouble behind the scenes, and though I'm not quitting. I most certainly can't leave something I've worked so hard on, (and this is the place where I met the few people that honestly may not know it, but probably helped stop me from offing myself.)

Like I said, I'll be on different apps, maybe once every 2 weeks or a month, but I'm trying to avoid social media, trying to pick up new hobbies, trying to gain some sort of stability in my life because I'm not stable enough to handle anything right now but like I said, I love writing and I think you guys should at least see it through on the series and tasks I've started.

I'm crying now, and I'm very grateful that you've all supported my work, and allowed me to explore my writing on this platform, I've learned a lot about this fandom. I still find it ironic that people call me a workaholic, I'm genuinely the biggest procrastinator you'll ever meet.

Thank you for supporting me, because without your support and reassurance, I might not have been here until now. Especially to some of my moots, who took the time to chat with me.

So, this is goodbye I suppose. At least on this platform, maybe not forever, but it is goodbye for the next good while.

— Signing off, cupids-chamber

[foxufortunes]

Also, you know, I can never quite decide if I believe Wymack subscribes to that bs age seniority thing or not and I can't quite remember the little details of the EC all the time to remember if it was made explicit or not. Like, for example, was Andrew on the bench for most of his first year because he's a little shit who didn't care? Or because both the other goalie were older? Maybe both. And we never see Neil get to a point where he's better than Seth while Seth is alive to find out who starts. And part of the Foxes being so small means it's hard to tell, but it'll be important going forward into other years. Because sometimes I get the vibe he would (and the way Nicky phrases the thing about Andrew makes it feel like he's an extra because the other two are older, but could be because he's a little shit who doesn't care, or both). And like, it wouldn't surprise me if he did. It's bs that even great coach in other ways ascribe to, the whole "oh they're older or been here longer so even if you're better for the team, they should get more chances" and the way Wymack runs the Foxes is certainly more focused on letting them have their arbitrary hierarchy than winning (and this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but consider the Foxes and Ravens the two extremes of this, there are middle grounds) but on the other hand, I don't know if he's that traditional (although, as I write this I seem to be convincing myself he would take seniority and rank over skill/good for the team, which I didn't expect). I dunno, I feel so undecided about it. Maybe I'm just having a Wymack feels day where I think through all my conflicted feeling about him and never get anywhere because I do love him but he makes some awful choices (like his whole Andrew is his favourite fox but he still treats him like shit and with suspicion even when he's clearly not the problem like the Higgins call or how he's set up this place for all these kids to get their second chances but often enables their worst habits and doesn't seem to have any actual idea how to handle them beyond giving them to Betsy and trusting they'll fix themselves) that I feel so often get glossed over in favour of Dadmack the perfect when I'm just constantly conflicted, like I am with a lot of AFTG characters because actually they're all awful no matter how much I love them I'd hate them irl.

[untitledmemes]

High Noon Prompts

An assortment of prompts taken from the movie High Noon (1952) directed by Fred Zinnemann. Adjust as necessary to fit pronoun and/or descriptor. In case of Multimuse, don't forget to specify which one/s. Reblog, please do not repost or add.

“ Did you see what I saw? ”

“ You in a hurry? ”

“ You're a fool. Come on. ”

“ Hot? You call this hot? ”

“ My goodness gracious. ”

“ He rides mighty fast for a Sunday. ”

“ I think people are ought to be alone when they get married. ”

“ You get out of this town. Get out of this town this very minute. ”

“ I guess I'll take a look around. ”

“ It's no good. I got to go back. ”

“ This is crazy. I haven't even got any gun. ”

“ They are making me run. I've never run from anybody before. ”

“ He was always wild and kinda crazy, he'll probably make trouble. ”

“ Don't try to be a hero, you don't have to be a hero for me! ”

“ You can help me by providing silence. ”

“ I'm not trying to be a hero. If you think I like this, you're crazy! ”

“ You know there'll be trouble. ”

“ We got our whole lives ahead of us, doesn't that mean anything to you? ”

“ You know, I got only an hour and I've got lots to do. ”

“ I won't be here when it's over. ”

“ You shouldn't have come back. That was stupid. ”

“ I think I'm letting you down, ain'tchu? ”

“ What a waste. Good luck. ”

“ That's funny, I figured you carried a lot of weight here. ”

“ You think I'm too young too? ”

“ If you don't know, it's no use of me telling you. ”

“ The truth is you probably talked against me from the start. ”

“ You can't stand anybody takin' your place, now can ya? Especially me. ”

“ I thought you'd grew up by now. ”

“ What's so funny? ”

“ He's sore, that's all. He's sore about you and me. ”

“ I can take care of myself. ”

“ No reason, but it's mighty interesting. ”

“ It's going to be quite a sight to see. ”

“ You can count on me. You know that, don't you? ”

“ You've been real decent with me all along, and I want you to know I've been honest with you. ”

“ What are you looking at? You think I've changed? ”

“ I will not lift a finger for you. ”

“ I'm not afraid of him. ”

“ Nothing in life is free. ”

“ If you're smart, you will get out too. ”

“ There's plenty people around thinking he got a comeuppance coming. ”

“ Where's the tin star? ”

“ I guess you all know why I'm here. ”

“ What do you want? You want me to get killed? ”

“ You got nothing to worry about as long as I'm around. ”

“ It takes more than big broad shoulders to make a man, and you have a long way to go. ”

“ When he dies, this town dies too. ”

“ It's their mess, let them take care of it. ”

“ If we don't do what's right, we're gonna have plenty o' more troubles. ”

“ There's only one thing to do now, and y'all know what it is. ”

“ He's a mighty brave man. A good man. ”

“ Bang, Bang! You're dead! ”

“ If you're honest, you're poor your whole life. ”

“ I couldn't do nothing for ya. You'd be worried about me. ”

“ It's all for nothing. ”

“ Let him go, he still has a chance. Let him go. ”

“ They were on the right side, but that didn't help them when the shooting started. ”

“ There's got to be some better way for people to live. ”

“ I always figured you for guts. But I never gave you any credit for brains 'til now. ”

“ It takes a smart man to know when to back away ”

“ Seems like all everybody wants is to get me out of town. ”

“ You think about a lot of things when you're tired. ”

“ I hate this town. I always hated it. ”

“ You just stop 'til I tell you to start again. ”

“ I can handle a gun, you ought to see me. ”

“ Can't you wait? ”

“ I'll come out. Let her go. ”

[strqyr]

i've been debating for a while now whether to write this or not. it's a bit... a lot more personal than i'm used to, but with V9: Beyond being nearer and nearer, i'm finding myself to be lacking the spark and excitement for new RWBY content that i'm used to have. for that reason, i've been doing some thinking, trying to nail down where the difference lies, and i think i finally figured it out:

the ending of V9, specifically how they handled ruby's arc.

[tw: suicide, if you decide to continue reading]

before i get any further, i want to lay down some "backstory": about two weeks before V9 started airing, i lost my beloved dog to an illness after fighting for her life for two weeks. those two weeks were a roller coaster straight out of hell, thinking the medicine given were working, only for things to get worse; and through it all, all i could think of was that if she didn't make it through the year, neither would i.

but then, afterwards, in some weird twist of fate, when every part of me wanted to stay in bed and never get up, it was her, my dog, that kept me going, simply because through the last couple of years of her life, she had slept the mornings in my bed, with me, with 1pm being the time she'd force me out of bed if i ever stayed in that late... and that following morning—or more like day lol—after her death, i happened to look at my phone, see the clock be around 1pm, knowing i had a choice to make.

and i got up. have every single day, way before 1pm, to keep part of her alive and with me.

so, perhaps needless to say, but ruby's arc in V9 hit close. i had enough time in-between to not be in middle of the worst of it, but i suppose not as enough as i thought, as not only did i lose some of the spark i had for this show, but i'm also still crying now while writing this.

for the duration of the show, the burden on ruby had been growing stronger and stronger. from being called special due to her silver eyes, to all her friends placing their trust in her leadership, believing that somehow, she always knew what the right thing to do was, to never quite feeling she could be open about her own doubts as a leader, having no one to talk to... V9 started out great. i was excited, for the first time in a long while, for the direction they were taking ruby in.

and everything seemed to be going great. all the issues, trauma, et al that ruby was holding in were slowly seeping over, until it all burst open, explosively, and she ran away; and with all of this and more thrown against her by neo, ruby drank the tea, not wanting to be herself anymore.

...then came the aftermath of her ascension, and it's here, where the writers lost me.

"you're broken! you break everything you touch! i call humans... weak! confused! incomplete!" the cat says, and it's hard to say they're entirely wrong; ruby has been broken, she has had her weak moments, she has been confused, and that's okay.

but her teammates, her friends, her sister, don't seem to think so.

the cat is wrong. ruby has never been any of those things, and that's exactly why they follow her.

like it was more important to prove the antagonist of the volume wrong, rather than offer genuine support to ruby by saying that it is okay to be broken and confused, and for her to have her weak moments because that's why they're there; to support her in good and bad. to make it clear to ruby that she can come to them and air her doubts and concerns without a fear of being shutdown, that they, too, will work on themselves to be better friends in that regard.

but that's not what happened, and even without properly registering it at the time, it felt like a punch to the gut.

during the roundtable discussion of this episode, the writers talked about ruby's arc being about impostor syndrome and i just... can't see it. not with the way they build it up. it's like a switch was flicked, and when before the problem was the burden that was solely placed on ruby's shoulder and how it was too much for her to handle on her own, now ruby ever doubting herself in the first place was the problem, and all she needed to hear was that she was perfect just the way she was; "retrospective" is not a known word here.

and for the first time, even if i do have some critiques over handling of certain storylines, i felt like what was delivered was not what was ordered. at all. and with the vague content warnings in front of episodes, it started to feel like suicide was used for the "shock value" it could provide, to get people talking on social media, rather than because the writers wanted to treat it with the seriousness it deserves.

maybe that's unfair to say; i certainly don't know their intentions. frankly i don't know the people who work on this show at all, and i've stayed far from forming any parasocial relationships to pretend otherwise. all i have is my own feelings about this, ones that i've gone over multiple times, going through episodes, seeing if there's something that i've missed that would make it make sense... i've done my due diligence, and this is the result.

this is not the end: i still love RWBY, the characters, the world and its lore... but some of the trust i had for the writers has definitely gone, as has of the spark that ensured the excitement i had for new episodes and content to the point that i'd be right here, on my seat, ready the moment a new episode dropped.

now if the birbs show up—

[ironstrange1991]

Forbidden (Part 4)

Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Before setting out on a dangerous mission, Stephen decides to settle some things with Y/n. When they leave, she is forced to deal with the emptiness that remains in their place and the fear that they may never return.

Word Count: 4,5k

Warnings: Slight ansgt and mention of dead parents.

SERIES MASTERLIST

It was Friday and you were tired. You hadn't slept the night and classes were being particularly grueling. You spent practically the whole morning in a kind of torpor and if someone asked you, you wouldn't know the subject of the classes you attended.

When the bell finally rang releasing you for lunch, you grabbed your things and left without bothering to wait for your classmates. You wanted to disappear from that place, you wanted to lock yourself in your room and throw yourself on the bed and, if possible, be swallowed by it.

There was a mental weariness in you that seemed to be increasing over the last few days. The fact that the Avengers were on the verge of leaving for another mission was also keeping you awake at night, which didn't help to keep you awake during classes. Everything seemed wrong and you didn't quite understand why and that was starting to worry you. You even tried sounding Natasha out about the mission, but as usual she didn't say more than a few words.

"The less you know the better, is what Tony says" That's basically what she said. You tried to argue that you cared about him and that you knew Strange would participate in the mission which indicated that the situation was dangerous.

Natasha just smirked "Are you worried about Doctor Strange's safety? I guarantee he can take care of himself." And quickly she changed the subject. Yes, you cared about Stephen, but not as much as you cared about Tony. Though he forgot about it sometimes, he was just a mortal man.

You smile feeling a pinch of longing. Even though you spoke almost every day, it wasn't the same and it had been weeks since you'd seen each other. "I just wish Tony didn't have to go on these missions anymore. I mean, hasn't he done a lot already? Damn, he deserves some peace."

You were striding towards the exit and talking on the phone with MJ. In fact, she just listened to all your fruitless whining and just gave a few "uh hums" to say she was paying attention. You sighed feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you with all this stuff."

She quickly cut you off "You are not bothering me, you know you can tell me anything. Besides, I don't have any news anyway, so you can tell me whatever you want, I'm a good listener."

MJ agreed "Yes he deserves it, but honestly I think he doesn't stop because he can't stay behind watching his friends go, but Y/n, you know Stark can handle it. He is a super badass. Remember?"

You sighed. I smile in your lips. Tony was indeed a super badass man, a genius, a man who used his inteligence to outcome all his limits. You were so proud of him. "Yeah I know."

Your cell phone vibrated with a message and you asked MJ to wait. You read the message getting even more irritated than you already was. "Fuck"

"Whats wrong?" MJ asked.

"Happy won't be able to pick me up" You replied stepping firmly and praying for a taxi. "All I want is to go home. Is that too much to ask?"

MJ seemed to weigh her next words "You haven't talked to Strange, have you?" You shook your head "I haven't seen him since the last time we spoke. That tragic and pathetic situation I already told you about a thousand times."

"I can understand why you're so irritated. Why don't you look for him before he leaves for the mission? Talk to him, y/n."

"I can't." You shook your had. It wasn't like the idea hadn't crossed your mind a few times. "MJ, I can't. Every time I try to force myself to work up the courage to do it I get this feeling..."

"What feeling?"

You sighed, clutching your bag close to your body and squeezing yourself through a group of students who were blocking your way at the exit gate. "That if he had any real interest in me he would seek me out..."

That's when you saw him. He was wearing jeans and a gray shirt, sunglasses, both hands in his pockets. It was impossible for him not to stand out among other people, yet no one seemed to notice him. He was standing there looking in your direction and you stopped abruptly "Shit"

"What is it?" MJ asked realizing something was wrong.

"He is here."

"Who? Strange? What is he doing there?..."

"I'll call you later."

"No, wait..." You hung up the phone and suppressed a smile that played at the corners of your lips and forced yourself to walk towards him.

 You managed to control your emotions the best you could. "Looking for someone, doctor?"

He gave you that sideways smile that took your breath away "Young lady, early twenties, tattoos, beautiful smile. Have you seen her?" He blinked at you with an open smile in his lips.

"Well I think you just found her."

"Luck me, then" He pointed to the phone in your hand "Stark?"

 You shook your head "MJ"

He nodded "How are things in Boston?"

You put your cell phone in your pocket "Everything's great, from what she told me."

He nodded "Good. Can we talk or are you going to yell at me again?"

You shrugged "It depends. Are you going to act like a jerk again?"

He shook his head chuckling dryly "Fair enough. Well I plan to take you for lunch."

You couldn't help but smile, but internally you were screaming at yourself that this wasn't a date. "I just missed my ride so I will accept it. Thank you."

"Great" Stephen replied and the two of you walked away around the building. He took you to a small restaurant just a few blocks from the uni. You sat at the farthest table you could find and were attended by a waitress who seemed overly excited about serving Doctor Strange.

The waitress took the order without even looking at you, she only had eyes for Stephen and honestly you couldn't blame her. "Would you like something to drink, sir?"

"How can I help you?" She asked with an exaggerated smile.

Stephen glared at you "Hungry?"

You nodded shyly and he thought for a moment "I'll have the usual" He replied and then waited for you to make up your mind.

You just pretended to look at the menu, your nervousness made it impossible to read the words so you pointed to the first thing that caught your eye "I'll have the salmon with asparagus and orange juice, please."

Stephen smiles sympathetically "Just water for me, thanks."

She wrote it down and left reluctantly.

You shook your head smiling. It was hard to imagine both Stephen and Wong discussing about food or any other normal thing, honestly.

You eyebrown raised "She really didn't want to leave. Probably a fan of yours." He chuckled "jealous?" You pouted "Maybe. Looks like you come here quite often." You added.

He shook his head "I've come a few times, Wong likes their tuna melt sandwich and sometimes he makes me come get it for him."

"How is the band going? America told me your songs are playing nonstop on the radio. Got a record label?"

You shook your head "Not really. Just released the songs online. Fans did the rest and the radio are just following the flow."

"I should congratulate you, anyway. You deserve this. You are very good."

You felt your cheeks getting hot with the compliment. "So you don’t listen to the radio? I must confess I always imagined you listening to my music and being forced to think about me. I'm disappointed."

He chuckled "Don't be. I preffer to listen to them on Spotify. They are good. But I preffer to listen them live."

You smile smugly "Thank you. I could do a secret show just for you if you asked me to. You could choose the songs."

He exhaled dramatically "That's very tempting."

You chucked "We can schedule it, but it may take some time. Things are moving very fast. I'm happy of course, but I'm having a hard time organizing my time between the band and college."

 "I'm sure you'll find a way to handle both."

"I'm trying, but college has been taking a lot of my time."

Stephen shook his head sympathetic "By the way, how's your dissertation going?"

You grinned proudly "Almost finished."

He smiles back at you "Glad to hear that." He thought for a moment frowning "America also mentioned something about a magazine photoshoot..."

You bit the inside of your cheek. You didn't imagine that America talked so much about you. Not that you minded.

"Tony doesn't think it's a good idea. In his words: it's a little too suggestive."

Stephen raised an eyebrow, curiosity in his eyes. "May I ask what that is about?"

"It's a tattoo magazine. They want to interview me about the band and talk about the relation between music and tattoos. You know I love both so I'm tempted to take the offer. Plus I always end up in the tabloids anyway."

Stephen gave a small laugh "I'm sorry for the last time"

You shrugged "Don't be. I don't really care. Besides, you saved me. No need to apologize. Anyway, I'm still thinking about it."

He nodded "Well, I'm sure you take the best decision. You're very smart and seem to be getting everything right."

You agreed smiling shyly. It occured to you that you liked when he praised you. You shook your had feeling your hands sweaty.

Stephen look at you more serious now "Y/n... I wanted to apologize for the way I spoke to you that day. I was scared of what happened... well, what could have happened. I know it wasn't your fault, I'm sorry if I made it sound like I thought otherwise." He held both hands together on top of the table, his blue eyes seemed to see right through you and just for a minute you wished you could read his mind.

You shook your head trying to formulate the words when you noticed that he expected an answer "It's okay, I guess I can't stay mad at you anyway, even if I try very hard."

He managed not to let on how much those words pleased him, but you could see the corner of his lips curling up in a cocky smirk. "It's good to know that."

You felt your face blushing "I apologize for the way I yelled at you, even if you were being an idiot, we shouldn't yell at older people."

He grinned. "Why I always get this feeling you like how old I am?"

You had to look away to hide the angry red on your cheeks. He didn't let that go unnoticed "I'm right then."

You exhaled slowly as you realized you were holding your breath. "It's not fair..." You said looking back at him "You know exactly what you do to me, doctor."

You could have sworn his eyes got darker and he seemed to force himself to swallow his smile. "Y/n..."

You stared at your hands waiting like a child who's said something wrong.

"Stark asked me why I was at the nightclub that night..."

You looked at him in surprise "What did you say?

 "I didn't know what to say, so I lied." He confessed.

You bit the inside of your cheek "Stephen..."

"Look, you got mad at me because I said I liked you as a friend, but the truth is, I only said that because I didn't know what to say. Of course I like you and I care about you, but ...To be honest I don't know what you are to me. I just know that I can't stop thinking about you and believe me, I know how inappropriate it is."

You felt your heart racing in your chest at those words and to some extent you were grateful to be interrupted by the waitress who approached bringing your food.

"Would you like anything else?" She asked, but her eyes were locked on Stephen.

"No, we're fine. Thank you" He said dryly not amused for being interrupted. Her smile seemed to crumble "Excuse me"

"Why?" You asked quietly as if you didn't even want him to hear the question. But he listened and shook his head nervously and then looked away "I'm leaving with the Avengers tomorrow morning. I couldn't leave without talking to you first."

You didn't miss the fact that he didn't answer your question.

"Tony told me it's something big."

 "Yes, it is."

You didn't want to talk about it. You didn't want to think that once again Tony was heading towards another extremely dangerous enemy.

"I hate this." You confessed "I hate seeing you leave and having to be left behind waiting not knowing if you'll come home."

Stephen nodded, "I imagine it will be hard to see Stark go. You must worry a lot about him."

You shook your head and looked out the window to hide that there were tears in your eyes. "I still remember the day Tony told me my parents had died. Every time Tony goes on a mission I wonder who will come to tell me if he dies. He's all I have."

Stephen rolled his lips and reached out and touched your hand. "I won't let anything happen to him. I promise."

You shook your head "It's not just him. I worry about everyone. "

He smiles reassuringly "I'll try to keep everyone safe then."

"Stephen... I'm also talking about you. Who's going to protect you while you're out there protecting everyone else?"

He squeezed your hand in his. His hand was shaking but you didn't mind it. It was warm and his touch felt so good. "I'll be fine."

"America needs you, you know that right? You're pretty much all she has."

"I know. I'll be fine." He repeated. You weren't convinced, but didn't say anything else.

"She made me promise I wouldn't leave without talking to you first" Stephen said smiling "She loves you like a sister. Can't stand to see us arguing apparently." He sighed "Things are always so simple for her."

You looked at your food on your plate, but there was a nervousness inside you that made your stomach flutter. You took a sip of juice. "Things can be simple, Stephen, if we want them to be"

He looked straight to your eyes . "I don't think Stark would think that way."

That was the answer you needed but not exactly the one you wanted.

"You know I'm a legal adult, right? You turned to dust for five years, but I grew up, Stephen. I am not fifteen anymore."

He took a good look around as if he wanted to make sure there was no one around to hear what you were saying and then stared at you with a certain gleam in his eyes you've never seen before. "Trust me, sweetheart, I'm well aware of that."

...

When you left the restaurant there was a weight on Stephen's chest that made each step heavier than the last. He could barely breathe suffocated by everything he wanted to say to you and couldn't. Somehow he felt that this might be his only chance and that feeling seemed to crush his heart in his chest.

You walked slowly in heavy silence until you reached a taxi stand. He wanted to portal you home, but didn't want to risk arousing even more suspicion.

"Will I see you again before you leave for the mission?"

He shoved both hands in his pocket "I don’t think so." You nodded going towards the taxi driver, but he grabbed your arm. He didn't want you to leave. Fuck Stephen, say something "I really enjoyed our time together."

You smiled. You had a beautiful smile. A sad one, but beautiful anyway. "Me too"

Before he could even react, you reached up on tiptoe and kissed him dangerously close to his lips. Just a peck, but enough to send heat through his entire body.

You smirked "For good lucky." You turned around talking to the taxi driver "Stark Tower, please" He watched you getting in the car and the taxi driver starting it.

"Y/n..." He called tapping on the rear window. You opened it and he touched your face. "I will miss you. I always do"

You smiled and then you left. Stephen stood there watching the car get lost in the traffic.

…

When you entered the Tower, you were greeted by the usual gale of people rushing back and forth, hurried about their tasks. Happy yelling and giving orders and the whole gang of superheroes planning the mission.

You took the elevator up to the comfort of your room.

You kicked off your shoes and threw yourself on the bed feeling a mixture of excitement and sadness at the same time. You've never talked so openly with Stephen before and now you had to let him go on a mission that as far as you were allowed to know was something big and dangerous. How could you stand that?

Your phone vibrated in your pocket. There were a million messages from MJ and a million from Mike. You guys were supposed to rehearse with the band at night, but at that point you couldn't care less. Everything seemed so meaningless.

You didn't realize you'd fallen asleep until you woke up to a warm hand on your arm "Hey darling, wake up. We're leaving."

You opened your eyes to find Tony sitting next to you on the bed. "I thought you would go tomorrow morning." You sat down leaning on the headboard. "I fell asleep. I'm sorry..."

"Change of plans." He smiles fondly at you "Don't worry, I've been working all day."

You hugged your knees. There was so much you wanted to tell him, but the words seemed small compared to all your fears and besides, you knew he knew exactly how you felt.

"Pepper told me she plans to spend a few days in Malibu. You should go with her. I don't like to think of you two here alone."

You shook your head "We're not alone. Happy is staying here with us and besides I have class and I also need to finish my dissertation. My deadline is in two weeks."

He nodded "Right. I had forgotten." He frowned "Where were you after class? Happy said you got here past 3pm."

You shrugged "Having lunch with a friend" You bit the inside of your cheek deciding whether to say the friend was Stephen or not. In the end you decided not to say anything.

"Good." He was silent for a moment.

"Tony..." You held out your hand and he took it in his "Be careful. Please. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

He shook his head "I'll be fine, don't worry." He sighed heavily and got up then bent to place a kiss on the top of your head "See you in a few days."

You nodded and he was leaving when he turned on his heel "About that photoshoot... I think you should do it if it's something you really want."

You smiled "Pepper made you say this, didn't she?"

He smirked "Yeah, you got me, but she's right. She's always right."

You nodded and he left closing the door behind him.

…

The days passed slowly. Each of them without news of Tony and Stephen was like an open wound in your throbbing chest. But it wasn't just the two you missed, you missed the movement in the Tower, Natasha and Yelena teasing you about your crush on Stephen, Sam and Steve talking in the hallways, Thor's laughter.

Without the Avengers, the Tower felt barren, cold, and frightening. You suddenly felt like the girl you were when your parents had the accident. Scared and alone.

You knew you weren't the only one who was feeling that way. Pepper also became increasingly sullen when unable to talk to Tony. He had promised her that he would try to communicate through the intergalactic communicators that he and Bruce had created, but something wasn't working as expected because every time Pepper tried to contact him, she was answered only by anguished silence. She tried to seem strong and confident around Morgan, but when the two of you were alone she looked tired and very sad.

You've tried to stick to your routine as best you could. College, the band practices, but at the end of the day it all seemed so insignificant and no matter how big the Tower was, the walls seemed to shrink in, trapping you inside just like the bluebird you had tattooed on your chest.

In those moments you found some comfort in music, spent hours at the piano composing and when you realized in a week you had a new song ready. Sad, painful, true, but when you tried to write the lyrics of you found that no words could describe the feeling that melody brought to your heart, so you gave up trying to force words where they didn't belong. You named the song Departure and you played it incessantly most nights trying to convince yourself that everything was going to be okay while at the same time being terrified that everything you knew might fall apart.

One week soon became two. Two weeks without news. You couldn't remember when was the last time Tony took this long on a mission. It was driving you crazy.

It was Monday morning and you weren't feeling well enough to go to class so you decided to stay home. America called asking if you had any news and it broke your heart to have to give the same answer. Again and again.

"He'll come back, won't he? Wong said he always does." America's voice was shaky as if she was trying not to cry.

You wanted to scream but you swallowed all your fears and so you replied "Of course he will come back. Everyone will come back, they are the Avengers."

America exhaled heavily, "He always says he's not an Avenger."

You smiled to yourself "Of course not. He thinks he's too good to be an Avenger."

America laughs softly and you were happy to get a laugh out of her.

"I need to go now, Y/n, Wong is calling me back to practice."

"Okay, go there little sorcerer."

You hung up the phone realizing that the magazine photoshoot was scheduled for that afternoon. You groaned throwing yourself on the bed and thinking of a million excuses not to go, but decided it would be for the best if you just went, after all it would be a distraction.

You were finishing getting ready when Pepper knocked discreetly on the door and then came in and sat at the foot of the bed watching you in silence.

"Did something happen?" You asked and she shook her head "Nothing happened. That's the problem."

You freaked out thinking Pepper was going to start crying, but she sighed and then said what was there to say "I asked Happy to take you to the photoshoot. I don't want you out there alone when everyone knows Iron Man isn't around." She sighed.

You shook your head "He'll be back Pepper. They all will." You finished getting dressed "I just spoke to America. She was very worried. We're all freaking out here."

Pepper nodded "She's such a sweet girl. Stephen is lucky to have her by his side. He always said there was no one to miss him in case something happened. Now that's not true."

You stared at Pepper nibbling the inside of your cheek. You didn't know Stephen said that. "America is not the only one that cares about him." You said without thinking and Pepper stared at you in surprise.

"Y/n..."

You grabbed your purse "I'm late" You said leaving in a hurry but she followed right behind you "Y/n, what do you mean by that?"

You entered the elevator "I really need to go" You said pressing the button and was glad when the door closed.

You were right about the photoshoot being a distraction. You felt very comfortable with Karen, the photographer and all her ideas matched perfectly with yours. At the end of the day, you were impressed with the results.

"Have you scheduled the interview yet?" Karen asked.

You shook your head "It will be next week."

"I'm sure it will be amazing . You'll be on the cover of the next issue, people will freak out."

"Hey Mike"

You smiled shyly. You were freaking out a little bit about the result. Though you liked it, perhaps the photos were a little... too sexy?

You thanked Karen and said goodbye. It was night when you left the studio and your cell phone was ringing incessantly.

"Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you all afternoon!"

You sighed rolling your eyes "I told you yesterday that I had a photoshoot today."

He nodded "True, I completely forgot. Suzanne had some problems at home and won't be able to rehearse so I canceled it."

Thank god. "She is fine?"

"Yes, she said it was no big deal."

You left the building and Happy opened the car door for you to get in "Good. Thanks for letting me know. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Y/n…" Mike cleared his throat "I was thinking... perhaps we could go out for a drink…just the two of us."

You sighed heavily. You always knew Mike had a crush on you, but you never thought he'd work up the courage to ask you out. Anyway, now that it happened you didn't really know what to say.

"I'm not in the mood. Perhaps another day"

He clearly didn't like the answer. "It's Strange, isn't it?" I saw the way you two were looking at each other at your godfather’s party. He is too old for you. That's disgusting, Y/n."

"No Mike, it's not Strange, and even if it was that's none of your business. But if you want to know, it's because of you. I don't feel like going out with you. That's all."

Happy looked at you in the rearview mirror with a low whistle.

Mike was speechless probably digesting your words.

"Bye Mike, see you tomorrow."

You hung up the phone before he could answer. Happy kept staring at you.

"Not a word about this with your boss." Happy raised a hand in surrender "My boss is on another planet, maybe another galaxy."

 "I'm talking about Pepper.

He nodded. "So this Mike likes you."

You stared at him in disbelief "Happy... just drive. I want to get home."

...

It was Friday and you had just left your last class of the day when the phone vibrated with a video call from MJ.

"Hey, what's up? Still no news?" She tried to hide her own concern, but with each passing day she managed to hide less.

You shook your head  "It's been three weeks, I don't remember any mission that took that long."

MJ sighed "Peter is worried too. He's been upset since Stark told him to stay, but now it's more than that."

"I need them back MJ, I don't know what I'm going to do if something happens to them. To all of them."

MJ forced another smile "They'll be back. Soon we'll all be together celebrating at another Stark party and then maybe you work up the courage to tell Strange you're in love with him."

"By now I doubt he doesn't know, but thrust me, if they come back, when they come back that’s exactly what I’ll do."

MJ's eyes widened "What exactly happened at that lunch you had? You never quite told me."

You opened your mouth to answer, but you found Happy leaning against the car right in front of the exit gate. "Can we talk about this later? I'm going home. I'll call you when I'm safely in my room."

She made a face, but accepted "I'll be waiting. Bye."

Happy opened the door for you to enter. The drive home was silent. Even Happy was apprehensive now that the days continued to pass and you still had no news. Lacking anything to say, he preferred to remain silent for what you were grateful.

When you arrived at the Tower you went straight to your room and threw yourself on the bed. You hadn't realized how tired you were until then. You haven’t sleept well for days. You only realized that you had fallen asleep when you heard Pepper's voice.

"Y/n...wake up. They're back."

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