#but it was so much easier when i was actually feeling the vibe irl

[nikibogwater]

I planned to work on a particularly cozy scene today, and lo and behold, it began to gently rain shortly after I woke up this morning. Clearly, it is the Lord's will that this book get written. 😤

[byoldervine]

Motivation For Writing

Getting Off Your Butt:

1. Aestheticise it. Let the light in through the curtains, turn on your fairy lights, lay a blanket over your lap, light some candles, whatever you need to do to feel like a writer. The right vibes can go a long way

2. Picture that one scene. There’s almost always a moment you’re super excited about that basically inspired the whole book. Picture it, play it out in your head in full cinematic fanfare, gush to yourself about how cool it is and how everyone will love it, picture a future fanbase going nuts for it. You might get excited enough to go back to writing

3. Set a word count goal. During NaNoWriMo this year I think I wrote more than I ever have in one go. The thing that kept me coming back was the desire to not fall behind. I ended up with ~45K words after some complications irl caused me to drop off in the final few days, and that’s all just because I was adding up the 1667 a day word count goal and realising where I needed to be at to keep up. I definitely can’t stay as rigid as I did with 1667 words every single day, but seeing that you’re only a few hundred words off of a goal is super motivating - just be sure to set realistic, easy to achieve parameters for just general use, like 1000-2000 words per week. I know 200 words per day is a popular one for people trying to establish a writing routine that can’t dedicate forever to the craft

Maintaining Motivation:

1. Writing sprints. Writing sprints are a godsend for me, I like to set myself up in the living room with Abbie Emmons’ writing sprint video on. The video lasts two hours and is broken up into two parts; 25 minutes to write and 5 minutes for breaks between writing, so four 30 minute sprints overall. Having the timer and countdown with peaceful music and an aesthetic background is both relaxing and encouraging, as well as giving me a specific time for how much longer I have to push through. It’s easier for me to say “Okay, only ten more minutes, then you can take a break” then it is to say “Just keep going, we’re not stopping until I say so” which is too arbitrary for my brain to accept

2. Give yourself a choice. If you’re struggling to keep your focus, come up with a finish line and tell yourself you don’t have to do any more work once you’ve reached that point. Finish the paragraph, go for another five or ten minutes, keep it up until your next scheduled break. Whatever sounds realistic and doable without being overwhelming. And once you’ve met this goal, ask yourself if you still want to stop. With any luck, you’ll have gotten back into the zone and will choose to keep going. Maybe you’ll want to take a quick break but you’ll come back later on. And maybe you’ll decide that now actually is a good stopping point. Just remember that, if you do still want to stop, don’t force yourself to keep going. You can’t strike deals with yourself if you know you won’t keep your word and all you’ll end up doing is burning yourself out, which will lead to even less writing getting done

3. Try a new angle. If you can’t be bothered to write anymore, is there anything else you can do for your book? Plotting, editing, worldbuilding, character sheets, one-shots all that sort of thing can still be productive for your book while still being different enough to give your brain a slight respite. It also means less work in that particular area later on

Afterwards:

1. Organise. Clean up your workspace and put everything away so it’s nice and neat for when you come back to it. Or if you don’t need to pack things out the way, set it up in an aesthetically pleasing way so it will tempt you back next time. Let it give you the writer vibe

2. Take care of yourself. Get a drink, have a snack, walk about, stretch your limbs, take a breath, cuddle your pet. Something that gets you away from straining your eyes looking at text for a bit. This is also a good time to reward yourself if positive reinforcement is something you use on yourself. If you always feel shitty after your writing sessions, you won’t want to go back to it

3. Positive reflection. Make sure to tell yourself you did good, even if you didn’t get as much done as you would’ve liked or it isn’t up to a standard of quality you’re aiming for. That can all be fixed later on, and you’re infinitely better off than you would’ve been if you didn’t do it. Be proud of yourself. Tell yourself you’re proud of your hard work and your dedication and your effort. Remind yourself that this is a fun thing you like to do. Marvel over how insane it is that you’ve gotten this far - not many people do - and that you’ve got all this tangible work to prove you’ve accomplished something so many people wish they could pull off. If this isn’t fun overall, there’s no point

[the5thcellar]

I actually think Luke is serious about A. That age gap is typically what men marry these days. I think he's crazy about her and was taking it slow after a long term break up before going official. That shows intention, planning, and wanting her. I wouldn't be surprised the official IG couple post is coming soon.

I'm just upset that they took it this far with promo. Tom and Z were meeting each other's family outside of work early on, so to say you are officially brining him to meet the fame was a bit much. Closing your eyes when she touches your face? Grade A acting. I hate that it makes me believe he was never attracted to an amazing woman like Nicola. I feel dumb for falling for it all. I hope Nicola finds a handsome guy who will love her proudly.

that's a really interesting take tbh! ive actually never considered he was serious about her in the sense of marrying - but of course this is purely based off the vibes I get and is entirely my own view.

one of the reasons i say this is because luke doesn't seem too inclined to keep a completely friendly distance between himself and nic - i heard that the QC leads india and corey were shipped really hard by fans as well and he had a gf during the whole press run - and towards the end india and corey started posing separately on carpets (i.e. no touching, no friendly hand around shoulder even during photos etc) because they wanted to emphasise that they were really just friends.

luke in contrast seems to have no qualms about blurring lines - and one of the reasons the more rabid fans kept insulting Antonia was a direct result of the fact that he kept stating his "single" status to press. I think he could have helped Antonia avoid a lot of the flak she drew by just stating that he's seeing someone. but maybe he felt it would draw even more attention to his private life and her? idk. i don't want to puzzle over his motivations because I don't believe they are too complex - I've said this many times before and I'll keep saying it - no matter how good a man seems (and I do believe Luke is very good and sweet), trying to justify anything they do is still a sure path to disappointment.

more importantly: please don't feel dumb for falling for the hope that nic and luke could be together! i really don't think they were being deliberately disingenuous - i actually think the opposite - i think they themselves are often confused about what they really are and it's just easier to define it as being great friends. it's strange but i get the feeling that they see each other as a source of potential - it's simultaneously impossible and also the easiest thing in the world for them to envision a reality where they're together - there just seems to be many barriers to it happening for real. they're comfortable living in the liminal space between great friendship and great romantic love - it definitely explains why nic said she doesn't have a relationship in her life that's anything close to what she has with luke. I think there just needs to be a decisive push for them to ever move out of this grey area. it'll have to be something massive for it to ever happen... and it's not something I hold out hope for (again, just to avoid disappointment!)

this got really long; I wish nic and luke all the best and I think they have something very special with each other. I think life has many many stops along the way and I don't think luke has found a final stop in his romantic journey with antonia - they are both very young and they don't have the vibe of "together forever" couples - if they did (since luke is such a big believer in love at first sight) - he'd have laid down a commitment a lot sooner.

again I want to emphasise that this is all MY POV - it's the vibe I get. I'm WELL AWARE I don't know these people irl. There's always criticism of how parasocial fandom and stan behaviour are but I think most fans - myself included - are very conscious of the fact that the way we perceive and interact with celebs is completely one sided. I'm also not a psychic or clairvoyant or anything of the sort. i just strangely feel a lot of things all the time and ive never been chill a day in my life 😂

sending you lots of good feelings and healing - I feel your hurt and unease and disappointment because I feel the same, but it gets easier to accept with each day that passes.

[crystallinestars]

OMG thank you so much for your response 😭 You always answer very kindly and in a detailed manner ahahah it is always fun to read your posts ! For rant, where to begin… I’m straight up typing this on a document so that it’ll be easier to organize gyahahah. I hope the readers do not see this as an assault on certain people, just an exchange of ideas 😁This is like 1250 words, enough for a uni essay, I feel that at some points it may be rather incoherent…

So I guess I will start with the shipping thing ! So when it comes to Kaveh ships, I see that it is like 99% with Alhaitham. I guess it is because of the way the game sets them up. Not only do they live under the same roof but iirc they have extensive voicelines about each other. I won’t deny that they play an important role in each other’s lives! Like back from their Akademiya days when they were still friends and collaborated with each other, and then when they had their falling out, and then Kaveh falls into financial ruin and inevitably ends up turning to his former friend for help (much to his own shame and chagrin). If they’ve known each other for this many years, it is natural that they would have many things to say about each other. 

However, I guess this also opens up the way for BL fans to interpret this in a romantic manner. Ofc they could feel free to ship as they’d like, but just taking into account the ones who are so insistent that any other ship must be wrong, I will detail the following… 

For people who have been in each other’s lives for a long time (I’m thinking 10+ years for these two), it isn’t out of the ordinary to talk about each other. I talk about the people in my close circle a fair amount, same with the people I know. It doesn’t need to imply a secret crush. And regarding their interactions, they often throw shade at each other. This is also interpreted in a romantic manner by many fans. If we look at this in a more positive light, I remember a guy player noting that their kind of interaction is similar to IRL male friendships. Guys dissing or making fun of each other with no deeper meaning to it. Bros being bros kind of thing. But if we look at it critically, I would say that a relationship where they’re arguing all the time… is not ideal. Like a commenter on Reddit said something that stood out to me, that Kaveh just looks so stressed when he’s interacting with Haitham. 😅 Looking at it from this angle, it makes it difficult to romance the two ahahah (not because of a “problematic” aspect but rather because it isn’t fun watching them just constantly arguing and Kaveh being miserable from this). 

To digress a bit, my ideal Kaveh ships would be either Kaveh+Lumine or Kaveh+Nilou. The former because Lumine in his hangout quest helps him a lot, like helping him deal with his past and with many of his issues. Also I like the idea of Kaveh accompanying Lumine during her travels, nice way to keep her company. 😁 And for KavehLou their romantic+artsy personalities and their shared cultural connection!!! I feel like Kaveh would legit treat Nilou like a goddess ahahah and Nilou would definitely cheer him up when he’s struggling, and both of them have super good vibes so it’s 💯 green flags all around. I also want to see them celebrate Nowruz together… ahahah. 

And this kind of ties into my next point that because of the whole shippy thing, Kaveh is rarely seen as his own character. This is evident when you look up his name on Twitter. Most of it will be him with Haitham; the fandom treats him like he is Haitham’s add-on. For comparison, when I look up my other fave Scaramouche/Wanderer, I actually get art of JUST him. Not with Kazuha, Childe, or even Lumine. Just straight up Scara. Kaveh doesn’t get this solo treatment because much of the fandom just sees him as an extension of Haitham. The thing is that Kaveh is one of the most human and relatable characters in the game: he wants to be a good person, yet he does struggle with having his own personality flaws. He has financial struggles that he’s barely clawing his way out of. If we disregard his genius and extraordinary academic record, I think most people could see themselves in him. In other words, I’d say that he is a very solid character. I think it’s about high time we give him his own chance to shine, without feeble scholar getting in his way ahahah (no shade to you, Alhaitham !). Let Kaveh be his own person!

And another point I would like to make, it is something that is of interest to me because it does involve different cultural perspectives. Kaveh is commonly interpreted as “feminine.” There is no shame in being a feminine man. However, the basis of this interpretation is 1) his appearance and 2) his expressive behavior. Regarding his appearance, I think it is because he styles himself in a particular manner that people automatically assume he is “___-coded.” To address this, I’ve seen Iranian Genshin players explain that historically, it wasn’t uncommon for Iranian men to wear jewelry, dress flamboyantly, and enjoy the fine arts. But to outsiders’ eyes, doing these makes him “less of a man.” It is like how some male k-pop idols are seen as “girly” or even “gay” by many in the West, but for women in many east+southeast Asian societies they are perfectly acceptable men. Just that when they see him as “feminine” it often verges into fetishization territory… I’ll try not to play pixel activism here, but ngl it gets really gross and weird at times. A few weeks ago I had the misfortune of laying my eyes upon a Haitham+Kaveh fanart where Kaveh was basically (sorry for the description in advance) Haitham’s belly dancer/slave?? Of course fanartists have the freedom to draw whatever they want but this image was pretty much a symptom of how the fandom views Kaveh. 🙁 Even one of the well-known Iranian Genshin enjoyers called this out as fetishistic and orientalist (the latter term is often thrown around with regard to Sumeru, but I think that this instance actually warranted its use). 

In addition to his appearance, Kaveh is a very emotionally expressive man. He wears his heart on his sleeve. Because of this, this further contributes to fans thinking of him as “girly.” So I guess men aren’t “real men” if they are open with their emotions, if we go by the logic of the fandom? Haitham and other characters seen as “masculine” e.g. Diluc and Childe are given the “masculine” treatment because they demonstrate far more restraint with their emotions, while Kaveh gets the “uwu I’m a lil bbygirl in need of saving” treatment simply because he doesn’t hold back when it comes to his feelings. So from this there’s like so much stuff of him as “ohhh submissive prettyboy 🥺🥺🥺” instead of taking into account other aspects of his personality, like he could actually be assertive especially when dealing with annoying clients. It does him a true disservice…

I feel that I’m missing many more points that I’ve considered before, if I ever remember them I will probably send them in… I hope it does not come off as some sort of crusade call, but rather just an outpouring of thoughts. And hopefully this is a decently entertaining read ^^;;;;

WELCOME BACK!!! I have been waiting for your lovely essay on how Kaveh gets done dirty by the fandom, and it made me so happy to see you and I share a lot of opinions in common on this! (That's a lot of text though. I don't mind the length at all, but I'm surprised the word limit let you hahaha)

To your amazing analysis, I respond to you with an essay of my own.

I completely agree with your points that people who have known each other for a long time would naturally have a lot to say about each other. Even if they haven't known each other for long, when people live in close quarters together, they definitely have things to say about one another, especially negative ones. The bickering Kaveh and Alhaitham have is expected since they're roommates, and on top of that, roommates that had a falling out as friends. Their relationship is a bit strained since neither wants to admit they were wrong in the past due to their pride.

I work 5 days a week with a coworker of mine, and I have a lot to say about her because we work closely together. Does that mean I'm romantically attracted to her? No, not at all. Quite the opposite. Unfortunately, this logic doesn't apply to fiction quite so easily, and I'll cover why in a bit.

The point about them acting like real-life guy friends is also very true, although I think their relationship fits a sitcom more closely. I know someone who said Kaveh and Haitham's relationship reminds them of Leonard and Sheldon's from The Big Bang Theory. Two guys living together, constantly bickering and throwing shade, but caring about one another deep down.

Lord, I can write a whole separate essay on why I think Kaveh and Alhaitham don't work as a romantic couple, but I won't do that here. This post is already gonna be long. Maybe another time.

However, I do want to say that while you make excellent points on how Kaveh and Haitham's relationship isn't inherently romantic, there is a very big BUT to all this. And that's Mihoyo.

As an anime game developer, Mihoyo knows all about the anime community. After all, the founders were all otakus, they know what kind of audience they have. They know what is popular, and what's popular is BL. There is not a single excuse anyone can give me that can convince me otherwise that Mihoyo didn't know exactly what they were doing when they wrote Kaveh and Haitham to be roommates. They didn't have to write them to live together. They didn't have to write all the extra dialogue where they mention each other. They didn't have to do the matching key idles, the references to the other in their birthdays, or introduce Kaveh through Alhaitham TWICE. They knew how their audience will interpret their dynamic, they had the option to structure it differently, but they still went through with it. It was deliberate.

Kaveh was introduced with Haitham, and ever since, they have consistently been shown together. It's as if they are literally glued to each other. Can't go a single birthday, event, quest, or otherwise without the other being present in some way. It is all intentional. Their interactions and cameos carry intent behind them that shippers pick up on, and that intent is to appeal to their group. So while it's erroneous to claim that Kaveh and Haitham are canonically in a romantic relationship the way a lot of toxic shippers are doing, there is a good reason why they think so. Mihoyo is actively encouraging this mindset by not allowing either character to shine on their own, but rather as a pair because they know this appeals to a subsection of their fanbase, and a large one at that.

As for your Kaveh ships, I agree 100%! Lumine is a good choice for sure (I say this as a kavelumi shipper *gets shot*), and while I don't ship it, I understand the reasoning behind Kavelou, and think it's cute. Nilou would be a really good influence on Kaveh. He always laments about how nobody understands his passion for the arts, but Nilou would. They're both artists that are trying to eke their own path in a society that doesn't appreciate art. Nilou, as you mentioned, would cheer him up, and I think Kaveh would also find peace of mind through her dancing. Kaveh needs someone optimistic and kind like Nilou.

While we're on the topic of Kaveh ships, I would also like to suggest my own that I really like. Kaveh x Candace. Please don't shoot me. Candace is strict and no-nonsense, so she wouldn't let Kaveh get away with constantly self-sabotaging himself. And unlike Haitham, she is gentle and almost motherly, so she'd be more successful in getting through to Kaveh and soothing him. Or so I like to think. Kaveh would also help her see the outside world more, maybe have her accompany him through the desert and show her beautiful sights she'd never see by staying cooped up in her village. Plus, he's literally helping to construct a library for her village! There is so much potential for them to bond over Aaru village yet Hoyo keeps pushing the same relationships, I am so tired-

But of course, for me, the best ship of all will forever be Kaveh x You/Reader. On my blog, every guy I write for loves you, and only you. Please don't kill me.

Carrying on, you are right in that Kaveh isn't seen as his own person. You'd be hard-pressed to find (popular) art of him that doesn't imply Haitham in there somewhere. Is it so surprising, though, when even the game developer treats them as a package deal?

I feel you, it's a pity. Kaveh's character is very complex and one of the most realistic. When I read his backstory, I couldn't help but think as if someone in Mihoyo put a part of themselves in his character. The struggles he goes through are realistic, painfully so, even. I've also seen lots of artists say they relate to Kaveh. He has so much to explore about him, but I fear that outside of the Darshan event and his hangout, we'll never get to see more.

Okay, so. I have mentioned before on this blog how I am annoyed at how Kaveh is viewed as feminine and submissive due to his appearance and emotional nature. You've already touched on all the points, so excuse me for sounding like a broken record, but I have A LOT to say about this.

There is nothing wrong with being feminine. There is nothing wrong with being a feminine man. What is wrong, however, is associating femininity with submission.

Kaveh has traits that are often associated with femininity, which, as you pointed out, are his neat and pretty looks and emotional expressiveness (the bit about Iranian men traditionally wearing jewelry is super interesting, btw. I didn't know, so this was enlightening!). To this, I also want to add that lots of people think he acts like a nagging wife with Alhaitham. That's basically all it takes for people to slap him with the "feminine" label, and treat him as if he's a submissive, blushy, uwu bbgurl I want to delete this term from existence

I know that men the West views as "feminine/girly" are often popular among women in Asia, and it really just comes down to culture and a matter of taste. I share their taste in men because I also find K-Pop idols and smooth-faced, slim anime guys more attractive than muscular and rugged men, and by no means do I think they're girly. But alas, each culture has expectations for how men and women are supposed to look and act, and it's led to more harm than good.

It's also unfortunate that Kaveh gets compared to Alhaitham a lot. Alhaitham is what one would call traditionally masculine. Muscular, stoic, reserved, aloof, etc... But especially the muscular part. Kaveh isn't muscular, and as we saw in the Darshan event, isn't athletic. This difference in physique is also a reason people call him feminine. I saw someone say (in a shipping context) that they prefer Kaveh to be submissive because Alhaitham is taller and bigger than him. Nothing wrong with wanting a sub Kaveh, but I find this reasoning very flawed. Fetishistic, if you will.

And yes, the "one man is a dom/top while the other is a sub/bottom" mentality follows a lot of BL ships. People literally fight with each other over who they believe should be the top or bottom. There are even specific emojis for it. Don't know why people are so hung up about who tops or who bottoms, but what do I know. I don't understand the appeal of BL at all 🫤

Gosh, I'm sorry you had to see that belly dancer art... I once saw a ship art where Kaveh wore a wedding dress while Haitham wore a suit. It wasn't a silly context, either, but a serious and romantic one. I really dislike seeing art of Kaveh being feminine or acting submissive because that's not him at all.

Please look at this official art. Look at how Kaveh casually stuffs his hand in his pocket, at how he sits with his legs spread wide without a care in the world, at how he slings Mehrak over his shoulder. Look at how confidently and casually he carries himself. His body language screams "masculine".

Kaveh is confident, prideful, assertive, bold... I could go on. These are also traits usually associated with men. I mean, look at how he talks about one of his seniors in his hangout!

He's got quite the mouth and a temper.

He's not shy, far from it, actually. He's not submissive. He's not a dainty damsel in distress than needs someone stronger to help him, because in actuality, he's resourceful and intelligent.

Kaveh is self-assured in his masculinity. Sure, he's not a big, buff man, and he wears his heart on his sleeve, but that doesn't make him less of a man or weak. Maybe physically a bit, but I don't think he's below average in terms of strength. He makes up for it with his smarts and invents things to circumvent his shortcomings. This part of him gets overlooked, because he gets compared to Alhaitham. It doesn't help that the two are always seen together lately.

In my humble opinion, Kaveh is more of a dom than Alhaitham will ever be. Haitham gives me vibes of being someone who's too lazy to put in the work in bed, so he'd rather lie back and let his partner lead. Meanwhile, Kaveh isn't afraid to go after what he wants, and will pamper his partner.

In conclusion, you are very right about everything. If Mihoyo wasn't purposely throwing ship crumbs at every opportunity, then Kaveh potentially wouldn't have had his character assassinated by the fandom. Every character gets mischaracterized to some degree (I weep for Childe), but unlike most, Kaveh's mischaracterization is largely in part due to shipping.

Apologies for the massive tangent. I had a lot of fun reading your analysis and mentally screaming "YES! YES! SHE GETS IT! I'm not the only one!", so thank you for sending this in. Don't worry, it was very well put-together, probably better than my rambling. I found out some new points, and had a few of mine validated, so feel free to send another essay if you think of more things. I love deep and thoughtful discussions like these haha!

[selfship-confession-box]

neutral anon i'm holding your hand as i say this. but being neutral in anything is still a stance you choose lol, even with silly online discourse. i know some people value their ships as much as an irl relationship, so it makes sense for them to feel uncomfortable when people choose not to engage with or simply state their feelings toward something as prevalent as pro/anti discourse. even if the terms themselves are outdated, what they represent is still clear. you could also be like "i'm not pro or anti, but i don't believe x y or z belong in the self ship community" which i've seen done before. like, i'm not an anti, but i feel uncomfortable around people who identify with the term proship. you're not obligated to tell anyone anything online, of course!

but i could argue that your beliefs and preferences with fiction say something about you; other people may not want to be involved with you because of that, so it doesn't make the discourse useless. everyone else is trying to avoid unwanted stress, too, you know; it's easier to filter people out and block when they actually mention their views in their pinned or about. and if i see someone neutral and they reblog from everyone, including proshippers, i usually block them too. if it makes you feel any better, i don't personally view people who are neutral as proship, i just tend to not interact them either because i'm avoiding the people who i don't vibe with. because, again, being neutral is a choice you make, and in your case it seems to be causing you some distress anyway? maybe it isn't the best thing for you if you're feeling this way, because i've seen zero stuff about neutrals aside from people being like "proship and neutral dni" and calling it a day. i think you've curated a bad feed for yourself lmao

.

[vampire-fanboy]

Rock Trolls shouldn't of been the ones to want to "unite" everyone by making everyone the same as them

said this earlier on twitter but seems easier to say/explain on tumblr idk why anyway

on twitter i said:

"can i speak for a second and say I wish in the second movie it wasn't the rock trolls trying to make everyone the same? its exactly what punk irl isn't about (rock came from punk) idk, I feel it could've been more interesting too if it was a diff type"

(i think some of the things i said there was incorrect like rock coming from punk but who knows i get my timelines mixed up sometimes LOL if that is incorrect ignore i sowy) anyway

i was thinking abt that again bc i think its interesting and like... to talk about it more here like- hm... idk

(click read more or something if you're genuinely interested in this lol)

i wish in the second trolls movie that the rock trolls was not the ones to be trying to make everyone the same as them, i can't begin to describe that is the entire opposite of what "rock" really is, or at least the type of rock they was displaying is the opposite of what it is

they was leaning a bit into the "punk rock" typa vibe with them due to their designs and such, the music not so much but design wise they feel like they lean towards punk rock, and if thats the case we can assume that "rock" in the movie also encapsulates "punk"

so with that being said it bugs me just a tad bit, that rock of all of them was used to be the ones to be like "we want to make everyone like us! make everyone the same to unite us!" bc thats so far from what actual punk is, in fact the whole thing about punk is to go against authority and express ourselves (yk, our differences)

ik im probably nitpicking a bit but i grew up with a punk for a dad (as in he was literally around when punk was formed, 1970's) LOL, its been apart of my life it is apart of my life so i know a bit about punk culture and what they stand for

SO IDK at the end of the day i dont really care, its a kids movie and i can see by default why they chose rock out of their options to be such a role for the movie, but idk! it just makes me a wee tiny intsy bit :( as punk literally does not stand for uniformity, it fights against systems that wants us to all be the same, it fights for individualism

but w/e, punk has that "aesthetic" that makes it easy to be like "wow theyre intense" bc visually they can be intense LOL, they're also easy to paint as """the bad guys""" due to their aesthetic (big quotes around the bad guys as more near the end as we know barb wasnt really trying to be evil, nor in general are the rock trolls aggressive and/or evil inherently)

anyway to end this off i love barb and i love the rock trolls, theyre so awesome i wish we had more time to develop barb a little bit more felt like she didnt get the screentime she deserved imo, live laugh love barb i dont express my adoration for her enough

if i delete this sorry i got anxious i dont expect this to get attention but if it does (positive or negative) im going to delete it (i have bad social anxiety)

soz if you did find this interesting and i delete it blehh

[sadistpet]

Meet the Writer

it's munday everybunny you know what that means

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

i love choosing muses that aren’t very. canonically fleshed out. it gives me a lot of opportunity to make them into my own ig :3

raikov is generally a pretty blank slate besides the little we know about him ( being violent / sadistic, being in love with volgin, u kno ) and i think he's potentially a really interesting character from what little we see of him. im personally not ascribed to the eva theory bc i think its kinda silly and robs him of a lot of his personal agency, but it is a common theory, so i kinda wanted to build up a characterisation that was more. faithful to canon rather than fanon u kno. plus sometimes my autism just latches onto specific random characters for no reason and in this case it was raikov JDSFHDFKJ my partner loves raiden and when we were scrolling his wiki page for the funnies obviously raikov's page comes up at the top as a "maybe you meant this" and i just kept coming back to him

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH i hate writing anything with like. eating?? which is ironic considering . raikov . but i just never know how to word it BUT aside from that i think combat is really the only thing ! just cause i feel like it relies heavily on input from both parties and i constantly feel like im overstepping kjshkfjhg

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

fluff angst smut grins. they just come a lot easier to me, especially angst because i always have a LOT to say about silly little internal thought processes and i love writing sadness and pain ^-^ it makes me very gleeful ironically jdkhfdjhg i get very emotionally invested in angst especially. smut is a little bit harder? kinda like with combat ironically it heavily relies on the input of both parties but i do feel for the most part its pretty open ended fun :3

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

i just know. BUT NO SERIOUSLY sometimes it's just Vibes, sometimes it's through reading canon stuff and linking it back to my backstory for him, sometimes it's through interactions with others. there's a lot :3 i do put a lot of thought into my headcanons though, maybe like. too much lmao. but i enjoy it i really love doing a lot of analysis to get to my headcanons

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

a bit of both ! rn i'm writing in silence and i think last night i was mostly writing in silence on my phone and then listening to music while i finished stuff on pc. i think it depends ? sometimes i just get really distracted when listening to music and end up completely neglecting actually writing HDFJGHED so i think overall i prefer silence, or something in the background that i've already seen before so i don't need to pay much attention to it

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

i love winging it :3 i like the unpredictability of it but i think i tend to like. outline ? replies before i actually write them properly. ive never really plotted with anyone besides a vague kinda outline or premise, because i do really like the unpredictability :3 but im always open to plotting grins cutely.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Yes. not just romantic shipping; sexual, enemies, rivals, whatever, idgaf I LOVE CONNECTIONS!!!!!!! i love being able to write relationships between characters. even if its like, familial relationships or whatever, i think it's SO FUN like ourgh. grins really big

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

frances ! it’s not my irl name but the one im most comfortable using online. i also go by rosalind, neo, and vanya :3 one of these is closest to my irl name but youll never guess

ᴀɢᴇ?

22, 23 this year somehow

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

september 17th !

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

pink. fairy tale pink. baby pink. any shade of pink

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

UM im not sure ?? of all time maybe dysph.oric reverie by [redacted] and the art of suicide by emilie autumn and valley of the dolls by marina atm though its a stranger i remain and holding out for a hero

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

the thing (1982) !! oh it was so fucking good i really really enjoyed it. theres a bunch of old classic horror films ive never seen so im glad i could tick one off the list :3 the effects in it were absolutely stunning my goodness

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

i think it was blue eye samurai ?? i gen dont remember

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

im so sorry for my crimes but it was the stains of time and then holding out for a hero

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

meat. and sweet things. i dont think i really have any favourites in particular besides liiiike caramel

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

spring ! all the other seasons make me depressed in some way somehow

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

i have avoidant personality disorder so im too scared to explicitly call anybody my friend in case they hate me so unfortunately i will not think of us as friends unless yuou tell me we are. but if i talk to you / interact with you regularly just know i consider u a friend ok. snf

[starry-blue-echoes]

OK COOL SO-

In ASBR there's a fight between Yukako and Bucciarati, in which Yukako is aware of the inner workings of Passione, and even Bucciarati is surprised at how she knows. And that made me think "Oh Yukako's definitely part of the mafia" so now I have a Yukako joins the Bucci gang au. Basically after Part 4 Yukako's family moves to Italy and she and Koichi have a long-distance relationship as she keeps him from finding out she just joined a mafia because Koichi would just. Instantly blue screen at that fact. Also because Giorno steals Koichi's bag Yukako finds out and destroys him. As a treat <3 I have a whole fic about this if you're interested in it, plus art of Yukako in the Part 5 style I made.

BSFVNSRFNSBHBSHVBS W H E E Z E -

I'd love to read the fic if you'd like to share, but also I brought this up to an irl friend of mine, he thought it was hilarious, and I hope you don't mind if I ramble to you about some of the Thoughts we came up with for our own spin on the idea-

(also I'm writing this in the "universe" of my Cinderella Rewrite, just so I feel more comfortable with yukakoi just a heads up thanks okay bye)

so sort of a headcanon for me to start things off, but Yukako's parents are both very wealthy but also very VERY absent, and once she hit middle school they stopped hiring babysitters to watch her so she was more or less on her own aside from a handful of incredibly scant visits/phone calls. She never knew exactly where their wealth came from but it wasn't really like she could ask so

but then fast forward to the end of her first year of high school and her parents suddenly drop the bomb that they're moving for "business" reasons and she's going to live in Italy. Naturally she's completely heartbroken because she has a life here. Friends and a boyfriend and people she'd honestly call family, and now her parents are making her leave it all behind without so much as an explanation

it's..... definitely rough, but made a bit easier by how Koichi swears he'll do everything he can to stay in contact. They have calls at minimum four times a week, send each other packages all the time, and just do what they can because they genuinely want this relationship to work out

as for Yukako's decent into Passione Things and joining the Bucci Gang...... I'll admit, I'm not super sure how exactly at the moment. I want to keep it with the theme of how Bucciarati helps her out in some way, and I do have the mental image that she didn't spend a lot of time at home because the house was way too big and empty and it was honestly driving her crazy. He probably saved/helped her somehow and Yukako, who's been honestly starved of any kind of Positive Adult Attention since Morioh, just decides "welp, guess I'll die for him"

I think it would be funny if she didn't actually join the gang at first, she just kinda.... sneakily helps him out from a distance. She knows Stand Magnetism would force her to meet some Stand Users eventually, so at least this way she's doing it on her own terms. Of course she's eventually caught, but she does impress them with her knowledge on Stands and ability to use hers, so New Teammate Obtained

Yukako definitly gives them a different perspective on Stands. She's pretty cagey about the specific details of where she moved from, but they do know it has a pretty big Stand community and she's been in a fair amount of fights. They also know she has a boyfriend whom she loves greatly and if anything happens to him Someone Was Definitly Going To Die

I can see Yukako and Fugo are both Besties and Worsties, bonding over being Rich Kids With Shitty Parents and also the only ones who posses a whole Two(2) braincells all for themselves, but they also have two of the worst tempers and when they fight it's bad. She also manages to get on Abbacchio's Not Bad side somehow and the two like to vibe silently together like a pair of cats

and I had. Such a funy sorta angst idea for a way for canon to go (and everyone lives because Fuck Canon &lt;3)

so like. What if Koichi took the mission because it would be an excuse to visit Yukako. And the trip was supposed to be that week.

so ontop of the general stress of everything, Yukako is At Her Fucking Limit right now because she's supposed to be hanging out with her boyfriend for the first time in nearly 2 years, not going on the Worst Roadtrip Ever, she didn't even get a chance to tell him where she was going because this trip came out of nowhere-

and then by the time everything is over and Yukako gets back to Naples (still a little bit banged up from the last fight) it's unfortunately Koichi's last day here

were Diavolo not stuck in that death loop she would've ripped him to pieces with her bare hands

but then for a bit of fluff, a few months later thanks to the whole "now controlling the entire Italian underground which is a rather lucrative career" they're able to invite Koichi back so the two can hang out together for realsies this time

BUT in true Koichi fashion (for some crack), he accidentally gets ropped into Stand shenanigans and kidnapped again leading to a massive goose chase around the city

[necroangelz]

🪽🎀💊

『 🎀 』

a name/prn/title/label i hoard

^ literally me...

『 💊 』

5 min edit of a random character

i chose to edit k-angel! this looks so good actually i should make it into a proper edit...

『 🪽 』

infodump about an oc

ykw let's be a bit silly, I'm gonna ramble about 2 new ocs that I just came up with :3

so uu see these ocs are VERY recent so i dont have too much info about them yet (thank the stars, i dont wanna stay up all night rambling LOL)

their designs + names are based on 2 vtubers from hololive regloss! it just felt right in my head ehe...

the first character is based on ririka ichijou, and i kinda find it funny bc the vibes of the vtuber and the vibes of my oc are quite different...? anyway, ririka lives a quiet and boring life although she is quite happy with it. she hopes nothing ever changes except for one thing. she wants to fall in love and date someone so she will feel less alone.

ririka herself is also rather quiet and peaceful but she can easily become louder when she's angry. on the outside she looks small (well she is small) but she has lots of hidden strength. she enjoys martial arts and she has a love fur fitness. sometimes when she's climbing up the stairs to her cozy little apartment and her body hurts while she walks, she wonders if her struggles would be easier if she was dating someone. she secretly fawns over romantic media.

ririka would have a different outfit compared to the vtuber ririka, with a warmer color palette focused on autumn-ish colors. somehow i keep imagining this story with autumn themes....

and here's the second oc based on ao hiodoshi (btw they use any pronouns). ao is a celebrity influencer person. they're very good at dressing up and playing different characters. their main profession is being an online entertainer or blogger and they make all kinds of videos and they also stream. i plan for ririka to be a casual fan of ao before they meet. oh yeah and ao would live in the same city as ririka for a short time so they could spend time together irl... ehe

ao likes to play it cool and he's used to hiding his true self from others. his true self is soft and sensitive. his favorite sport is swimming. his interest in swimming stems from trauma in his early childhood, when his mother died from drowning

ao is genderfluid and by default she presents as androgynous

the mitski lyrics, "i want a love that falls as fast as a body from the balcony," and, "give me one good movie kiss and i'll be alright," make me think of ao. i guess thats how ao views love. she wants something sweet and idealized like from the movies bcz secretly she wants to return to the innocence she used to have

i want ririka and ao to be opposites in some was. like how in fight vs flight ririka is "fight" and ao is "flight." in some way that subverts their appearances bcz ririka appears as the soft and weak girl and ao appears as the cool masculine protector partner.

im not sure yet what their story will be. i want it to be focused on wholesome romance (which is VERY FAR from the stories ive done before, lol) but i got the idea fur their overall story when i was listening to taylor swift. ^_^

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

sorry if you see this and im not replying to dms super fast. today has really been draining and not for great reasons. kinda feel nonverbal and quiet right now.

not as bad as itd been years in the past for vdays. i think this one has been surprisingly well, but my manager made it a big 180 despite being on an edge all day mentally. i said i wasnt gonna have a mental breakdown, and i very much didnt compared to the past three years. but i did however get stopped by this coworker when i was leaving early in the parking lot after the manager interaction of putting me in a shit mood. then unintentionally started crying when trying to explain why i was upset to her.

thanks to her for hugging me. she didnt need to, but realizing how touch starved i am despite hating touch... genuinely, i dont think she understands how much i needed that cause i havent had a hug in like almost... i dont know.

and its different now because im not used to having irl "friends" or people who i talk to like that not online, but i think after that interaction it made things easier. i still went home and cried but i think its honestly an annual tradition at this point haha- the only difference is that im not asking the same situationship girl to be my valentine for the fourth year in a row like a literal clown. i think after all this time its finally reaching the point where life is getting better and im healing. the pain is still there sometimes like this but... people care... people actually care about me.... and... that alone makes me want to cry because how??? how did i get so lucky to finally get to that point. how did i get to this point to meet those people i needed years ago. im glad that theyre in my life now, but it still scares me a bit getting close to people and being vulnerable because im afraid of losing them too. i have so many new people compared to last year. i was so low then, too. i remember it. i had this whole thing set up and then ended up crying at work because IM DUMB AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT MY ENERGY INTO THAT.

but these new people- they care. and things are better. so much so compared to then. 😭

i want to write something. idk. im just super introverted, and im glad she's a chill person. we really have an eda luz dynamic im ngl 😭. i... i really appreciated that.

anyway i just... wanted to put this somewhere. its not as a negative thing. im way happier now, but dealin w that has just stunted my vibes temporarily. hope things are doing good if u see this. idk.

[polyamorouspunk]

Asking for advice... I've been on testosterone for 4 years and I'm starting to feel like there's no point? Not like, in a hopeless way but because the only changes I've had have been the permanent ones. I've had no fat distribution, not able to build muscle easier, not less tired. I've got my beard and my voice has dropped and I had top surgery and still get misgendered so T doesn't even help me in that way.

I could deal with having periods again, though I do have anxiety about if breasts grow back??

Dunno why I'm sharing, I don't want to ruin the sleepover.

Detransitioning partially has been on my mind, too. I kind of miss being seen as a girl? I miss feeling wanted. Feel free to ignore if the vibe is off!!

Man that sucks I’m sorry.

I def have no interest in taking T, because being read as a girl doesn’t bother me 99.9% of the time.

I am considering top surgery though, and I’ve started the ball rolling on throwing that out to my doctor the other day who made a note of it in my charts so like. Step 1 complete on possible top surgery.

Right now my hair is to my shoulders so I just don’t care that I’m always getting read as a girl. In fact, any time that I’ve been read as a guy has been in a misogynistic way, which kind of puts a damper on things.

That being said: even when cutting my hair and looking more androgynous I’m not going to be read as a guy. Ever.

And you know what? Not being read as trans is actually nice sometimes. It’s safe. I don’t argue my pronouns with people hardly ever. Getting too surgery? Actually becoming more “masculine” (androgynous) is a bit scary! What if I get transphobia aimed towards me irl? What if people don’t find me attractive? What if people get weird around me?

So like. For real I’m not going to stand here and be like “why would you want to detransition??”

I don’t know hardly anything about hormones and HRT, so I don’t know much about the effects outside of what I read on tumblr. Honestly, I know that I’m never going to look like my ideal fully transmasc look. And I don’t want to look masc enough to want to use hormones. Change is scary. Change is even scarier when you don’t get the results you want, or get some unexpected negative side effects.

For periods, I’m on birth control and I take it continuous which means that I only get a period every few months which is great, and in my opinion is a valid option for people (with research).

It’s definitely a personal choice and not anything I can advise you on one way or another. But no one worth your time is going to think any less of you for detransitioning.

[kowaindar0u]

watching this video and thinking about idol au again omg ...

I think I really like the idea of yuichi being in a group (as opposed to a non-idol, though i still think he would've been recruited while doing some other behind-the-scenes job) and thinking he would be the type to secretly write & compose songs...

He might even be quite good at it. like ... shit I'm getting emotional thinking about it but ... He already writes in his diary a lot, so imagine him taking that kind of emotion and putting it into a song...

He'd write songs about anxieties, hopelessness at times, breaking down... songs he would describe as "the kind of atmosphere/surroundings i wish to have when I'm overwhelmed"... songs that just really talk about things he struggles to actually talk about ;_; ... songs for his friends...

(a song about appreciating his fellow group members, a song about a certain friend from another group with lyrics like "we don't have to say much and we're happy")

maybe at some point he surprises everyone with like. a straight-up angry song and even his close friends are like "i didn't even know you could get angry" lol

also circling back around to how he became an idol, he'd get recruited a relatively short time before debuting maybe compared to his other members, and so maybe he'd feel/actually be judged/resented about it and knows he needs to really prove he deserves to debut with them, so he'd practice and work on himself constantly ... it sounds miserable and probably kind of is but I think he would never have gone into all this or agreed to start training at all without having other people relying on him...

and oh man... i imagine his stage fright would never actually go away (again it's easier when he has members with him) but god... the first time he'd step on a stage he would be a mess like they'd look back at their debut performance especially and see him like shaking/clearly about to cry the whole time but still able to see he's giving his damned best... like he doesn't perform it well necessarily that day but it's something the members and fans look back on with a kind of endearment, especially as he gets a bit more confident onstage as they go

idk who he'd be in a group with or what kind of sound they'd have but i think whatever it is would have a lot of dramatic atmospheric type stuff (idk if that really suits him or if that's just what i like LOL but) ... like i can't imagine him really thriving well in a Poppy pop group without a lot of deeper substance (?), if not for personality/vibe reasons then because he's just got kind of a very unimpressed resting face LOL

also. can you fucking imagine. i imagine yuichi still keeping his eye covered most of the time LMAO so he'd be one member where like. one video he's got his hair parted a different way or pulled back somehow and the fans go INSANE because they get BOTH EYES

[speculative (?) gender stuff below the cut cause my brain said What If]

also i'm thinking ... maybe depending on how old yuichi is when stuff happens ... an Interesting angle ...

i know this is obviously Very Unlikely irl for several reasons but this is alternate universe of fiction so .

1 ) maybe he discloses to his company upon being recruited that he's trans like "i didn't say anything when i worked here as [whatever he did before, maybe stylist help] because i need Job but i don't think i can go in front of People being misgendered i would not survive" so they help him transition (yet another driving factor for his hard work afterwards) before debut ...

OR ...

2 ) maybe he initially debuted in a girl group that didn't really pan out, and after disbandment he Transed his Gender and re-debuted in a boy group...

Inch Resting ....

in 2, i think like...obviously his time in that first group would have been ... really REALLY hard, fucking miserable, not only for dysphoria reasons but because the group just could not find success-- perhaps their company was shitty-- but i think he wouldn't hold any disdain for like... fans of that group, those members, and the songs they performed together? like he'd still be friends with them if they wanted, and he'd even do reunion perfromances with them omg lol ...

okay actually i like this concept. and maybe after the first group fails he does go back to being a "civilian" and then 1 happens and ... !!

yuichi my beloved

idol yuichi i stan u

[sneakydraws]

ohhh you oughta' show me Face and/or Motion for the Teen Girls brother..

*cracks knuckles* all of them, huh? a tall order but i'm up for it! "makeup" is a separate category but i think it's relevant for face descriptions so i'll pepper it in

face: Describe your OC's face. What's their smile like? Are their orbs cerulean? What would someone notice first when looking at them?

ballerina girl - i imagine her with a wide, flat-ish face. probably low cheekbones? slightly freckled. the only makeup she wears is the "neutral" kind, concealer and foundation and blush and whatnot. maybe a gentle lipgloss. she has big beautiful dark eyes, but they're downturned a bit giving her a slightly gloomy expresion - maybe offputting in day to day life, but giving her a sublimely romantic air when performing... she doesn't smile much in public but her smile is very gentle, almost shy.

cigarette girl - she has an unhealthy, grayish complexion from not really taking care of herself, fairly pimply as well. very thin eyebrows, thin lips and face. lip fuzz. long, pointy (maybe a bit hooked?) nose. her eyes are always half-closed and she has a general air of apathy about her. i don't know that i've ever drawn her smiling lmao... the has that sloppy, day-old kind of makeup, heavy eyeshadow and dark lipstick, no foundation or anything.

witch girl - her hair is all over her eyes haha, don't know how feasible that would be irl but i think it's a fun design choice in cartoons. she's almost always smiling, to the point where it's a little unsettling. slightly bigger lower lip. double chin. one mole by her lips and another below her eye, just barely visible from under the fringe. very pale with a pinkish blush. her style is very cutesy and as far as makeup goes i could see her adding pink blush and stuff like stickers, drawn on shapes, glitter...

jock girl - very expressive, especially with her body posture/movement but also with her hands and face. puts on a slightly blase air but is passionate and easily annoyed. round face, accentuated by the short bangs. slight case of babyface, big black eyes with short lashes... you know what, she's not korean but the main girl character from squid game came to mind as someone with a similar face? though maybe it's less about the actual features and more about the vibe. anyway, she's usually got a furrowed brow, even when laughing! she's got a big, loud, slightly cackling laugh. maybe slightly crooked teeth... and not infrequently a bruise or bandaid somewhere on there.

ok motion should be a bit easier! i really like this one, i often think about how characters move

motion: How does your OC move? How does their clothing help or hinder their range of motion? Are they flexible, coordinated, clumsy?

class prez girl - VERY controlled. elegant and fluid - this is probably why her parents sent her to ballet classes in the first place, or how she convinced them to let her try. she had a sudden growth spurt in maybe her early teens and that left her with a lingering feeling of awkwardness about her height, but the ballet training was enough to get her out of her slouching habit anf give her perfect posture.

girlrot girl - slow, pleghmatic movement. if she sits down in a chair, she doesn't do anything to ease the fall and just slumps into it with all her momentum. slouches a lot, and if she's in one spot for a while she has a tendency to get lower and lower until she's sprawled on the ground.

bunny girl - very still a lot of the time! doesn't fidget much. when she does move it's with a slight bounce to her step. tends to keep her limbs close to her body, but not really in an awkward way

sk8r girl - rarely sits still. even if she's sitting in one spot for a while, she'll switch positions often. jerky and energetic movements and exaggerated poses

whew this was so fun!! i like having to write about these things instead of drawing them, it forces you to think through it and find very specific descriptors haha!

[strawberryamanita]

People will advocate for you being unpalatable until you're unpalatable for them.

And y'know what? That's okay.

(Ranty rant rant below)

No, believe it or not, this is not a post about "euhhhh nobody can handle anything everyone's tolerance for actual flaws is so low because nobody socializes irl" blah blah blah whatever enough.

Enough.

I'm not here to tell you you should be more tolerant while simultaneously discouraging you from wanting to interact with anyone. Everyone here is so damn prickly, and then they wonder why people are prickly with them.

Anyway, let's start over at point 1. Hi, how are ya? I'm Codi. Nice to meet you.

You may be excited about the idea that people will be more "authentic" versions of themselves in theory, but there will inevitably be parts about their uncensored identities that will rub you the wrong way. And that is okay!

But you have to accept that that is the way things are going to be with people from now on. If someone is gonna be louder, or more emotional, or make more room for themself, or express their identity in a different way than you were prepared for, that is okay. In fact, it's more objective than "okay" -- it's a neutral fact, and that fact is what you have to be okay with.

NO, THIS DOES NOT MEAN I APPROVE OF CASUAL PUBLIC BIGOTRY. I KNOW someone is going to try and "take that" me about this, and I have to keep all my bases covered all the time so I don't slip up and give someone the easy-in to call me an apologist or whatever. Please refer to the [Paradox of Tolerance] for my thoughts on exclusionists and the like, and have a nice day.

God, you lot make me paranoid... Anyway.

I know that from afar/in theory, people actively becoming less palatable sounds like an ideal future. People expressing themselves outside the ridiculously rigid and narrow confines of conformity sounds like a dream come true! And it will be for the individual themself to live freely and on their own terms... but the cost is that sometimes you just won't vibe with what they wanna do with themself. You might have a disgust reaction to it -- you might even be triggered by it -- but that is okay, and that has to be something you have to accept. Nobody wears their true identity on the outside to spite other people; they do it so they feel like they have a tiny bit more control over their own life, in a world where the higher-ups don't want us to have control over a single thing. Wanting control over one's own narrative is okay, and it's a completely rational thing to want.

The same applies to you yourself, btw -- you'll want to do/say/be things that some people will be icked by, and that is also okay. There is room for you, there is room for me, there is room for every person.

The longer you can face things you're uncomfortable with neutrally, the easier it becomes to tolerate them in the long run. Exposure therapy is difficult, but it's worth the time you put in. And if you just can't handle being around a certain trait -- y'know what, that's okay too, but you can't tell the person who possesses it to go back in the closet. Not when they've come so far, not when they've born so much of their soul to the world. You don't tell a Sunset "no, go away, I'm not ready for you yet", it happens regardless and you go on with your day.

I don't even know if this post is completely coherent, honestly. I just woke up, I'm having some sensory issues, I'm sweating and the birds won't shut up. If I get through this webinar without having an episode, I'll consider it a victory.

Just... be nice to eachother, okay? Don't fucking shame eachother for not having built up enough tolerance for certain personalities or lifestyles or cultures or anything like that. We've been trapped in our rooms since March 2020, some of us during our formative years, and it's difficult to have regular, natural relationships when even our closest neighbors feel more comfortable talking through a screen. And while we're looking at these screens, these desperate attempts at maintaining relationships are interspersed between all sorts of horrifically triggering news from the rest of the world. I swear to God, it feels like things get worse every single day, and my jaw is on the floor that we still haven't hit bedrock, haven't hit a nadir for this endless, boundless cruelty that only humans are capable of. It genuinely feels like we're never gonna bounce back up.

Have some fucking patience with eachother.

[stars-tonight]

Hi there!! So cool you're doing this! If I could get a match up that would be great and I would be so thankful! Can I also be 🌧️ anon! Thanks! :)

🔭 Long matchup; romantic

🔭 My pronouns: she/her, paired with male

🔭 Ideal partner: Trustworthy, someone who I can talk to about anything good or bad and not have to worry about them saying/telling other people. Who can also come to me and trust me with their own matters. Someone who can be mature and hard working but also knows when to be laid back and not take things so seriously. Someone who is caring and willing to help others in whatever way they can. Also, someone who loves to learn and is open-minded to new experiences and meeting new people

🔭 I would call myself an ambivert; I'll check the vibes of people or place and if I feel comfortable, then I'll start going into my extroverted self lol. I like to have a schedule and keep things organized but sometimes I'll just wing it. OVER THINKER. I really enjoy studying, especially health sciences. I'm bilingual- Spanish and English!

🔭 hobbies- love to read; make playlist for different moods, events, scenarios; working out/weight lifting

🔭 Love languages: quality time-giving, acts of service-receiving

🔭 Ideal date- either a cute date to a bookstore and cafe or going a soccer match

🔭 Other tidbits- I wear glasses and have a collection of them for different outfits, MBTI is ISTJ, favorite color is green, favorite music genre: R&B, I'm a Scorpio, Likes- rainy weather, coffee, dark chocolate, and gold jewelry, Dislikes- very loud places or with too much noise, very sugary or sweet drinks, being late

headcanons

🥛 maybe i've done too many of these in a short period of time but everyone just feels like an akaashi match atp

🥛 but anyway

🥛 akaashi would fs keep all your secrets (unless they're dangerous ofc) because he is NOT a gossiper

🥛 he probably knows all the drama everywhere because people feel comfortable telling him and he's just like "yeah yeah oh wow"

🥛 but he never actually says anything so people can't hate him yknow?

🥛 (i think i'm comparing hq teams too much to my volleyball team irl smh)

🥛 but yes akaashi is the definition of mature

🥛 he's a bit more stoic but i think he likes to relax and have fun every now and then

🥛 you just can't really tell if he's having fun lol; but he is, he loves spending time with his loved ones

🥛 akaashi seems big on scheduling as well, he's very organized and likes to know all the details

🥛 the two of you will probably need pushing by someone like bokuto to go out and let loose

🥛 akaashi is also an overthinker which may lead to some problems in the initial stages of the relationship

🥛 like if there are conflicts but neither of you bring it up to one another

🥛 you'll probably start communicating through writing cause it's easier than talking

🥛 but akaashi will eventually realize that talking face to face is more effective and from then on communication will be smoother

🥛 akaashi is a big reader, so you'd definitely read together before bed

🥛 if you have similar tastes, you might read the same thing at the same time to discuss

🥛 if you have different tastes, you might recommend books for each other

🥛 you two would probably get involved in a local book club and frequent the library / bookstore

🥛 he doesn't particularly like going to the gym but he'll use you as motivation to go lol

🥛 he's the most gentleman-esque boyfriend anyone could ask for

🥛 would constantly be taking care of you and doing things for you like holding your bags or opening doors

🥛 he also treasures the time spent with you and would be completely focused on you during dates

🥛 akaashi in a bookstore?? hello like the most natural thing ever

🥛 akaashi loves to match glasses with you! he thinks it's so cute and he often wears them too (idk if he actually needs them or if it's just for fashion but whatever)

🥛 he also strikes me as a coffee kind of guy

🥛 he just gives cozy vibes you know? cuddling up together on the couch with a good cup and a cup of coffee while it rains outside 🥺

runner up for you was yamaguchi tadashi!

A/N: there you go 🌧️anon, i hope you liked your matchup!

[kuromi-hoemie]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged or liked something from you

easy, I'm tired and going to go back to sleep after this so I'm just gonna fire them off the top of my head boss 🫡

pussy

making out and cuddling, biting them etc

playing with someone's hair

doing my silly little arts n crafts

seeing the animals i get to feed every day, and the trust and comfort they have in me to keep coming and bringing their kids n friends

weed

getting better at throwing my knives and spikes

all the beautiful and sweet people i get to talk with in person when i go out, esp the ones i keep going back for if we vibe right (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) ♡⁠ my favorite are these 2 specific budtenders at 2 different stores and i got to hold one when we met and i hold hands w the other and i want to kiss them both ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

on that note I'm happy I'm not as withdrawn as i used to be when i got isolated 🙇🏾‍♀️ i am such a social butterfly these days

I'm happy I'm moving in a few months and am very excited for this next chapter of my life

I'm happy i get to see my friend later today, I'm getting us gyro fries and making us drinks and we're having a lil ghibli movie marathon

I'm happy my coworkers n most people at work are so nicey to me 👉🏾👈🏾 i love that other queer n trans ppl work at my job. there's this one intern who's insanely beautiful and i really love getting to talk to her 😵‍💫 the top she was wearing last time was so cute!! very artsy and i loved the colors ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ i wonder what her sign is

i love the nurses at my clinic where i go for transition related healthcare, they are SO fun in every way. it doesn't matter who i get; sometimes they're really flirty and hot, sometimes they're really silly, sometimes they're just sweet n friendly conversation but no matter what everyone is so fun and good to me there ♡⁠

i love how much I've changed the past year and a half. i embraced polyamory and it fundamentally shifted the way i view all of my relationships‚ found out im ace, the most outgoing and confident I've ever been, gotten pretty good at navigating The Public enough that i actually don't think i ever wanna touch a dating app for finding friends or lovers anymore because irl is sm easier for me atp. ╰(￣ω￣ｏ) there's lots of other little stuff too but overall getting to truly be and find myself as a trans woman feels like peace🧘🏾‍♀️ now i just need to be surrounded by a bunch of friends and a couple partners when i move and I'm good

honorary spring mention bc god do i love flowers (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) ♡⁠ it's sm more than that to me .. i don't feel like going on a rant rn but i love spring 🤌🏾✨ i truly love too watch the seasons go by and i love to be a part of it. just a girl caught up in the tides of change 💆🏾‍♀️ i love when yang grows in the yin and becomes apparent in both subtle and very conspicuous ways 🙇🏾‍♀️

c-can i rant about space..? is there time? 👉🏾👈🏾 no.. i shan't

i love life, i love existing, i love mysterious and complicated aspects of reality*

*:truly am holding back like 4 different rants rn so i am stopping 🙇🏾‍♀️

i am overwhelmed by love, curiosity and wonder i feel, and am full of sm of it that it pours out of me and into a majority of my interactions w others. I'm having a blast these days and i can't believe it gets even better!!! (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚)