#but it's just so interesting to think about

[sergle]

man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin

[foxstens]

andrew always being at kevin's side because kevin needs it and andrew driving kevin to night practice and andrew patting kevin down to check for injuries and andrew promising kevin it'll be fine and andrew looking awake, interested because of kevin and andrew conserving his energy for kevin's quiet meltdown and andrew smiling for the first time without the drugs because of kevin and andrew always picking up when kevin calls

[project-sekai-facts]

According to 4koma #282, Kohane has the ability to purr.

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil,

I was the person gabbling incoherently at you after the Muppet Movie at Tinker Theater the other night! Thank you again for your note and the selfie!

I wanted to tell you WHY your work meant so much to me, but I was so starstruck. I randomly picked up a copy of American Gods in an airport when I was ~17 ("Oh, that's the dude who wrote a book with Sir Terry! OK, I'm in!"). I grew up in a fairly oppressive Southern Baptist area with people who were militant about their religion. I was interested in all types of mythologies and other cultures, and was also the weird artsy smart chick, so of course I was horribly bullied.

Everyone (including my parents) told me that my creative dreams were dumb and I'd never make money; my focus on fairy tales and myths were childish and no one but me cared about those things; and I was going to Hell, so stop reading things and repent.

Then I read American Gods right at the time when I most needed it. Here was someone who was hugely successful writing about the things I cared about--and lots of people wanted to read it! And it was GOOD writing! And then I read your journal, and it was written by a kind person telling people to make art, support your library, and be kind. It was the message I needed so badly at an important time in my life.

Your voice has been in my head so often when I doubted myself. What you do--not just your stories, but you just being YOU, publicly, and telling people to be them--is so important. I think you probably hear that daily. I just wanted to say it again, more coherently this time.

Truly, thank you--for so much more than a note and a selfie.

-Jenn Pocock

Thank you so much, Jenn! I'm so glad it helped.

[smileysuh]

truth serum

🌙 starring. Choi Seungcheol x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. When you’d taken this job as a handler, it hadn’t been a babysitting gig. You’d signed on to work with Seungcheol because he was supposed to be one of the best agents… supposed to be. There’d been a time, three months ago, when he’d completed a job with flying colors. The two of you had celebrated at a hotel in Paris after the success, and after two bottles of champagne, you’d actually thought you were starting to get to know the guy. But whatever inklings of a gentleman you’d seen that night had disappeared soon after, and things have been up in the air ever since. His man whoring ways are at an all-time high, and his judgment has been questionable, to say the least. Now he’s gone and gotten himself captured, and you can’t help but fear the worst.

tw/cw. Seungcheol gets truth-serumed and a little beat up, unprotected sex, dirty talk, dominant Seungcheol, power dynamics, praise, one hint of degradation that’s quickly squashed, breast/nipple play, fingering, oral, foreplay in the kitchen, bdsm subthemes, spanking as a punishment, pain kink, multiple reader orgasms, creampie/fullness kink, etc… I pet names: (hers) honey. (his) angel eyes.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 6.6k

🍭 aus. Secret agent au, handler reader, coworker au, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. Thank you for being patient with me this month on my svt posting for June! My birthday is on the 25th and your smiley has been busy- so grateful I could get this out, even without a teaser post :) I don't know anything about actual secret agents, but this was a fun fanfic idea I had and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did :)

“I’m just going to go talk to her.”

You hate how nonchalant Seungcheol sounds, hate how easily he can be swayed by pretty women, even while out on jobs. It’s your responsibility to keep him in check, the little angel on his shoulder, and in his ear. “Don’t do it,” you warn him.

“Her husband’s the target, from what I’ve seen, she’s harmless,” the agent counters.

“How easily swayed you are by pretty women, and need I remind you this isn’t the first time you’ve let a person of interest’s wife become your focus.”

“Careful, Honey, for a moment there it sounded like you were jealous.”

You’re watching Seungcheol through the casino’s live footage, a stream you’d easily hacked for the operation at hand. He’s leaning against the bar, all suave in dress pants and a white button-up that he’s left open just enough to show his prominent chest-

“That’s your third drink,” you note, changing the topic, “don’t let it cloud your judgment, Angel Eyes.” 

“We both know I can hold my liquor,” Seungcheol insists, raising his glass and sending a wink toward the camera before he downs the Old Fashioned. “I’m just going to go talk to her, she could give good intel.”

You let out a deep sigh. Sometimes, being Seungcheol’s handler can be a pain in the ass. Does he ever listen to you? Not usually. Does he get the job done, though? Most of the time.

“Trust me,” Seungcheol says, voice lowering. “I’m not going to do what you think I’m going to do.”

You roll your eyes, leaning back in your chair while you scan the screens in front of you. “Seduce her James Bond style and compromise this entire thing?”

“Maybe only half of that.”

God, he’s such a womanizer, but with a face like his, and the perks that come with his job, he can afford to be. 

“If this goes sideways, don’t expect me to bail you out of it.” you warn him.

“Honey, bailing me out is your job.”

You hate it when Seungcheol goes out of your visuals, and entering a hotel room with a target’s wife was not on the itinerary tonight. For the first ten minutes, you’d sat anxiously, listening in on his smooth-talking, when the woman had suggested they take things to the bedroom, part of you had wondered if you should call this whole thing off and let Seungcheol do what he always does: fuck the hot wife and sort things out later.

But when you hear a male voice, and a startled, “Who is this?” from Seungcheol, you’re glad you’d stayed anxiously glued to your computer.

A faint, “Friend of my husband,” said in a nonchalant female tone, sets you off immediately, and you’re grabbing your phone to get backup support before you can even think. 

You try to take deep breaths while you listen to what sounds like a fight taking place on Seungcheol’s end, and suddenly, the wire goes dead. Now, there are no sounds, only the racing of your own heart and the blood rushing through you.

“What’s going on?” Your supervisor's voice makes you jump, and you turn to see Jeonghan standing there with Hansol, another handler. 

“Cheol made a move on his target’s wife, went back to her room, but the wife brought friends. The wire is dead.”

“Fuck,” Jeonghan groans, “This is the third time this has happened to him.”

“I tried reminding him of that,” you say, your voice raising with anxiety.

Hansol offers you a sympathetic hand on your shoulder. He takes care of an agent named Seungkwan, and while Seungkwan gets into his own messes, he’s not the type to go after married women in the middle of a job. 

Jeonghan’s leaning over your computer now, and he brings up the map tracker you have on Seungcheol. “I’m sending this location to another agent we have in the area,” he tells you, quickly taking the reigns of the fuck up that’s just happened.

“It’s Wonwoo, isn’t it?” you sigh. “It’s always Wonwoo cleaning up Seungcheol’s messes.”

“Yes, it’s Wonwoo,” Jeonghan admits. “We made sure he’d be in the wings tonight in case something like this happened.”

“God, this isn’t good-” you groan.

“No,” Jeonghan responds, “It’s not. After tonight I’ll have to have a serious talk with Seungcheol, and a serious talk with you about reassignment if we decide Seungcheol is a liability.”

Your heart lurches in your chest. 

When you’d taken this job as a handler, it hadn’t been a babysitting gig. You’d signed on to work with Seungcheol because he was supposed to be one of the best agents… supposed to be. There’d been a time, three months ago, when he’d completed a job with flying colors. The two of you had celebrated at a hotel in Paris after the success, and after two bottles of champagne, you’d actually thought you were starting to get to know the guy. But whatever inklings of a gentleman you’d seen that night had disappeared soon after, and things have been up in the air ever since. His man whoring ways are at an all-time high, and his judgment has been questionable, to say the least. Now he’s gone and gotten himself captured, and you can’t help but fear the worst.

After a harrowing two hours, you find yourself in the med section of the agency compound. Wonwoo is stationed outside of Seungcheol’s room, and he stands straighter as you approach. “Hey, Honey,” he says, using your codename even though there’s really no reason for it right now.

“Wonwoo- how is he?” You anxiously look toward the door Wonwoo is guarding with his body.

Although you’d been connected to the whole ‘rescue Seungcheol operation,’ you’re still buzzing with anxiety. It’s unexplainable, and definitely bordering on unacceptable given the line of work you’re in, but damn it, you can’t help but care for the man you handle every day.

“Jeonghan’s with him right now,” Wonwoo responds smoothly.

Your heart thunders even louder in your ribcage. Jeonghan had mentioned Seungcheol being a liability- is he getting fired right now?

Part of you aches to be with him, to defend his stupid behaviour- but you know it’s not your place, besides, what would you even say? You’d told Seungcheol not to go after the target’s wife, and he’d done it anyway, which shows a lack of regard for handler instructions.

Seungcheol has become a liability, and you hate that things have come to this.  

“What do you think is going to happen?” you ask.

Wonwoo shrugs. “That’s above my paygrade.”

He’s awfully stoic, even for a spy, and while it can be intriguing at times, right now, his deflections only frustrate you more.

You let out a sigh. “What if I asked you to guess what’s going to happen?”

Wonwoo looks at you for a moment. “I’d guess Seungcheol will be put on a break.”

“A break,” you repeat. “Like… a permanent one?”

The spy can only shrug again, a nonchalant motion that’s way too disinterested for your liking.

Jeonghan’s been trying to talk you into working as Wonwoo’s handler for a while now, and although you know Wonwoo would be much less of a hassle than Seungcheol, you can’t bare to tear yourself away from the spy whose messes you’ve been helping clean up for over a year. 

Despite Seungcheol’s massive ego, and his magnetic attraction toward trouble, there’s something about him that makes you want to care for him. Sure, he never listens, especially when you give him advice about women, but Seungcheol has a certain something about him- something that you won’t give up easily.

Before you can talk further with Wonwoo, the med room door opens and Jeonghan steps out. He lets out a deep sigh, crossing his arms over his chest.

You hold your breath, waiting for your boss to give you instructions.

“This is a shit show,” Jeonghan says finally. 

Neither you nor Wonwoo verbally agree with him, but brief eyecontact between the two of you makes it known what you’re both thinking.

Jeonghan addresses you next. “I’m guessing you want to go in there and talk to him.”

You can only nod.

“Look, it might not be the best idea, but fuck it.” Jeonghan uncrosses his arms, looking at you with a steady expression. “They gave Seungcheol some kind of truth serum. I don’t know how long it will be in effect, but I do know he’s vulnerable right now. I probably shouldn’t let you in there- but… I’m just going to walk down the hall to get a coffee, and if you happen to slip through the door then so be it. I didn’t see anything, and since Wonwoo is coming with me, he didn’t either.”

You stare in shock for a moment, unsure what to say. There’s nothing to be said, and when Jeonghan dispurses, Wonwoo is quick to follow.

You turn to the door, and after a deep breath, you slip inside the med room.

Seungcheol is lying in a hospital bed. His lip is battered and there’s a blossoming purple bruise around his left brow, but other than that, he looks remarkably well.

“Honey?” He sits up when you enter, eyes widening in shock.

“Cheol-” Your voice cracks as you take the seat next to the bed, and while part of you wants to reach for his hand, you hold yourself back.

“I’m sorry,” he says immediately, and those are two words you’ve never heard from him before. “You were right… about the wife.”

“That’s not important right now,” you sigh. 

“It is. You’re my handler, and I didn’t listen to you, and that was wrong. If I had listened, we wouldn’t have gotten into this mess.”

You study him. You know he’s vulnerable, Jeonghan said as much, and with a truth serum impeding his ability to lie or evade questions, you want to be careful- but you also want answers, answers that you can only truly get right now.

“Why’d you do it?” you ask finally. “This time, and all the other times. You always go after the women, and I thought it was because you found it easy- seduction is what you’re good at, but- I don’t understand how you don’t see how dangerous it is.” 

“Honey-”

“They’re thinking about reassigning me to Wonwoo, and before that happens, I just need to know why, Cheol. When you have the potential to be the best agent in this company, why are you always so ready to jump ship and fuck any rich married woman even though you know it will fuck everything up?”

“They can’t reassign you to Wonwoo!” Seungcheol sits up abruptly, and the heart rate monitor next to him beeps a sign of warning at his increasing pulse.

“They can do whatever they want, you should be worried about your own job. You don’t even listen to me as your handler half the time, maybe you should be with someone you actually respect.” 

“I respect you,” Seungcheol blurts out.

“It doesn’t feel like you do.”

“I do,” he insists. “I-” Seungcheol’s voice cracks. “I get with women to distract myself.”

“Distractions in this line of work can be fatal.”

“You think I don’t know that?” he snaps, making you go silent. “Maybe I have a death wish.”

“Cheol-”

“Stop calling me Cheol.”

“Stop calling me Honey.”

“No.”

You glare at him, anger bubbling and inspiring you to dive deeper into your questioning, despite the fact that you know this isn’t a morally good idea. “Why do you need a distraction?”

“Because you’re a distraction. Your voice in my ear- it distracts me.”

“Maybe reassignment is a good idea.”

“You’re not being reassigned.” Seungcheol’s voice is practically a growl, and you’ve never seen this side of him.

“Why not?”

His expression breaks. “Because I need you.”

“You clearly don’t.”

“I do,” he insists. “I know I’m not good at showing it- but I do, I need you.”

 “Cheol-”

“Honey.”

“Tell me why.”

“Because-” Seungcheol lets out a sigh, and he punches at the hospital bed. “Look, I’m scared, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Scared of what?”

“Of falling for you.”

“Huh?” Now you’re confused. You’re staring at this lady killer agent, the sexiest man you’ve ever met, and you can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. “But- all the women you go after-”

“Distractions from you, from the voice in my head.” Seungcheol swallows thickly. “That night in Paris…”

Your heart lurches in your chest, and you hold your breath for the next words about to leave him.

“That night- fuck, I’ve never met someone like you before. I’ve never felt-” he bites at his lip, and you wince, knowing it must hurt to put pressure on the wound there. “I got with those other women to try to convince myself that I didn’t need you. I didn’t need your guidance, I didn’t need your care, I didn’t need you- but… I do need you.” Seungcheol meets your gaze. “I’ve needed you more than I’ve ever needed anyone, and it scares me.”

Aside from the heart rate monitor beeping through the room, you swear you could hear a pin drop as you stare at Seungcheol, trying to register everything he’s just said.

“I-”

“It’s my turn to ask a question now,” Seungcheol says. “How do you feel about me?” 

“I think…” You swallow thickly. “I never understood why I stayed working with you after everything, but… maybe I understand now. Maybe I need you too.”

“Maybe?” Seungcheol flashes you a sexy smirk, and it makes you look away, hating how he makes you feel, hating how inappropriate this whole thing is.

“I’m definitely going to have to be reassigned now,” you tell him.

“What? Why?”

“You know why. This,” you point between the two of you, “this has been the liability the whole time. We’re the liability, Cheol.”

He sits and thinks about it for a moment. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” You let out a laugh. 

“Just… don’t work with Wonwoo, okay?”

“Why not?” You can’t help but laugh at the request.

“Because I think he’s into you.”

“Wouldn’t be the first,” you tease, standing up so you can sit on the bed, wanting to be closer to Seungcheol. “Besides,” you pinch at his chin, inspecting the wounds on his face, “Wonwoo might actually listen to me.”

“Honey,” Seungcheol slaps your hand away, instead grabbing at the back of your neck to bring your lips dangerously close to his, “don’t test me right now.” 

“Or what?”

He lets out a shaky breath, his gaze dipping down to your lips. “Jeonghan’s putting me on a two-week mental health break or some shit, this isn’t even a question of ‘or what’ anymore. While I’m on leave, I’m going to fuck you stupid. I’m going to make it so you can’t even leave the fucking bed. I’m going to show you that I’m not the kind of man who receives instructions, I give them. Think you can handle it?”

God, your core is throbbing from his words alone, and you can’t muster up any for yourself. You can only nod, staring at the beautiful, bruised, stubborn man in front of you.

“You should get out of here before I bend you over this fucking bed and get us both fired.” Seungcheol releases you, leaning back to put distance between your lips. 

“Do you think you’ll be released tonight?” you ask, voice quiet.

“Are you that eager to see what I’m made of, honey?” Seungcheol lets out a laugh.

“Maybe.”

“Yes, I think I’ll be out of here soon, after this stupid serum wears off. You know, this whole interrogating me while I’m vulnerable thing isn’t going to go unpunished.”

“I hope you do your worst,” you challenge him.

The agent scoffs, shaking his head. “You’re trouble.”

“Hypocrite,” you grin, standing and heading to the door. “Call me when you’re out, then you can take me home.”

You’re waiting by Seungcheol’s car in the parking garage when he comes out of the elevator. He’s dressed in black dress pants and the same white button-up he’d been wearing hours earlier. The collar is speckled with blood, the buttons undone to reveal his broad chest- his suit jacket is held in a fist, and he’s never looked sexier.

He doesn’t say anything as he approaches, closing the distance between the two of you. His hand finds your cheek, and his eyes stare into your own, your lips only inches apart. Then, he’s kissing you for the first time, a desperate, needy kiss that sets your entire body on fire.

You wrap your arms around the back of his neck, pressing your chest flush to his own. Your mouth opens instinctively, accepting the tongue that strokes by your teeth.

Seungcheol’s hand moves down to your ass, and he squeezes you roughly, pushing you back against the black jeep wrangler he’s been driving recently. The motion has you moaning against his lips, and Seungcheol breaks the kiss with a grin. His forehead rests against your own, and you both struggle to catch your breath.

“Been wanting to do that for a long time,” he tells you.

“Me too,” you admit, swallowing thickly. “So… your place?”

“My place,” he confirms, reaching behind you to open the door to his car. He grabs your hand to help you up into the tanked-out jeep, then gently shuts the door behind you.

Your heart is racing. You can’t believe you’re actually doing this. 

A couple of hours ago, you’d feared the worst, and now, you desperately need good, dirty, wet sex with Seungcheol to take your mind off the anxiety that’s still coursing through you.

“So,” you clear your throat as he pulls out of the parking garage, “did you talk to Jeonghan?”

Seungcheol laughs, reaching to hold your hand while he drives. “Yes, I talked to Jeonghan.”

“Did you mention me?”

“I mentioned you a lot. Mentioned you the first time he came in to talk. He asked the same kinds of questions you did, turns out you’re the only one who was completely oblivious to the way I felt about you.”

“Well… I mean… you’re the agent, not me. Figuring out secrets is your job, I just do handler stuff.” Your skin heats at the idea that others saw his affection for you, but you’d been so blind.

“He agrees that this thing between us, whatever it is, it’s the liability, not either of us alone. He’s putting me on rest, like I said, and when you’re up for it, he’d like to reassign you to some new hire, this wizz kid named Dino or something.”

Although you know reassignment is the best thing in this situation, it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Can you really trust someone else to be Seungcheol’s handler? God, you’re feeling downright territorial of this man already-

“Yeah, I’m not too happy about it either,” Seungcheol sighs, rubbing his thumb along your hand. “Some new kid getting you in his ear- he better not fall in love with you.”

“Did you fall in love with me?” you ask.

“Truth serum has worn off, honey,” Seungcheol grins, grinning and bringing your hand to his lips. “But yes, as cliche and stupid as it sounds, I did. And don’t worry, you don’t have to say it back, I know you were all hot and bothered by me too.”

You scoff loudly.

“What was it you said earlier? I ‘find seduction easy’? Don’t pretend we’re not in the same boat here, honey.” 

“God, I hate you.” You try to tear your hand away from him but he’s unrelenting.

“Liar. You love me. Love me so much you’re going to let me rearrange your guts.”

“Don’t be so vulgar,” you chastise him.

Seungcheol casts you a sideways glance. “You’re not my handler anymore, you don’t get to tell me what to do.”

Your pussy throbs at his words. The dynamic between the two of you has always been a push-pull. You were supposed to be the one giving orders, but it never felt… correct. You’d bet your life that soon, when Seungcheol has you pressed to his bed, whispering all sorts of dirty commands in your ear- well, you have no doubts that will feel more natural. 

“As dominant as you like to pretend you are as a handler, I think we both know you’d rather be the submissive,” Seungcheol points out. “I can’t wait to see how good you’ll be for me.”

“Cheol-”

“Look at you, honey, a little dirty talk and you’re already a blabbering mess. Can’t find the words, can you?”

“Fuck.”

“You’re adorable,” he grins, shaking his head a little. “You’ll be good for me, I know you will be.”

You’re kissing Cheol the moment you get into his penthouse- or… is he kissing you? It’s hard to tell who moved first, all you know is that one thing leads to another and suddenly he’s hoisting you onto a kitchen counter, his hands already unbuttoning your pants.

You break your heated kiss to take a breath, looking up at the ceiling while he quickly attaches his lips to your neck. “Cheol- this is going a bit fast.”

“Is it?” He tugs your pants down, grinning against your throat. “Do you want me to slow down?”

His thumb finds your clit through your panties and you let out a whimper, clinging onto his strong shoulders.

You can’t even think right now, especially not when he begins to draw small circles against your sensitive bud, pulling away from you so he can watch your face. You open your eyes to look at him, loving the intensity in his expression.

“Tell me to slow down,” he says.

You take a breath, trying to process his words. They’d sounded like a command, so, begrudgingly, you whisper, “Slow down.”

“Too bad, I don’t listen to what you tell me to do, remember?” 

He’s such a shit-

A shit that gets onto his knees to immediately burry his face between your thighs, tugging your panties to the side roughly so his tongue can make direct contact with your already throbbing pussy.

“Fuck, Cheol-” you whimper loudly, threading your fingers through his silky dark hair, your legs already shaking around his head.

“Been thinking about what you’d taste like,” Seungcheol muses, pressing a sloppy kiss to your inner thigh. “Knew your pussy would be perfect for me.”

God, his words are getting to you, your mind completely blank of a comeback as Seungcheol dives back into his task, his lips wrapping harshly around your clit.

All you can do is gasp and whine for him, writhing on his kitchen counter while he works you closer and closer to an orgasm with his tongue alone.

When he pulls away to drag two fingers up your slit, your body tenses in anticipation.

“Relax,” Seungcheol chuckles, looking up at you with that handsome grin of his, “It’s only me, honey. You’re comfortable with me…” he pushes his digits into your core, cocking a brow, “right?”

“Yes, fuck-”

“Yes, what?” He crooks his fingers, hitting your gspot and making you cry out.

“Yes, I’m comfortable with you!” you belt out, falling back onto the table so you don’t have to hold yourself up anymore. You want to feel everything he’s giving you- want him to have your full focus.

“Good girl. I think you deserve a reward for admitting that, don’t you?” 

You can feel Seungcheol’s breath on your clit while he pumps his fingers, abusing the sweet spot that already has you close to the edge.

“Yeah, yes- I deserve a reward-”

Seungcheol pulls away abruptly, landing a slap to your pussy that has you squealing, your thighs closing around his hand. Your eyes snap open and you stare at him in shock.

“That sounded like a command, honey,” Seungcheol says, prying your legs apart. “Thought we agreed I’d be in charge tonight, and you know I hate being told what to do.”

“I-” you swallow thickly. “Please? Please let me cum?”

“Let you cum?” he taunts, thumb finding your clit but not applying nearly enough pressure.

“Please… make me cum?” you suggest, wanting - more than anything - to say the right thing for him.

“Because you asked so nicely.” Seungcheol flashes you a wink, and then his fingers are slipping into your wet core again, picking up where he left off. His lips return to your clit, which is practically buzzing from the slap, and before you even know it, he has you at the edge.

“Please make me cum,” you whimper desperately. “Fuck, I’m so close- please make me cum, I’ve tried to be a good girl for you- please-”

He hums a sound of confirmation, and the buzzing vibration on your clit is enough to get you there. Your pussy clamps down hard on his fingers, your back arching as waves of pleasure surge through you. Your toes curl against his broad shoulders, sounds leaving you uncensored as you fill his apartment with cries of relief.

You’re throbbing, your pussy practically dripping at this point, but Seungcheol doesn’t let up. Even when you tug on his hair to try to pull him away, he refuses to move. He finger fucks you and sucks on your clit, ignoring the way your thighs close around him, working you through your high all the way until the end.

Seungcheol finally relents when your pussy stops contracting around him, and you let out a massive sigh when he pulls away. You can feel his eyes on you, but you can’t bring yourself to look at him yet, not when you’re still feeling the aftershocks of such an intense orgasm.

You feel him begin to unbutton your shirt and his lips find the swell of your breasts as soon as it’s open. He’s soft in his kisses, gentle, tender even. “Have you come back down to earth yet, honey?” he asks, nuzzling up to your throat.

“Yeah- that was just, really good,” you let out a small laugh, threading your fingers through his hair to keep him tucked to your chest.

“That was just the appetizer, you still haven’t had the main course.”

“God, you’re so-”

“So what?” he teases. “Handsome? Charming? Lovable?”

“Sure of yourself,” you breathe.

“Let me show you something,” he prompts, reaching for your hand. He pulls away from your chest to stand up straight again, guiding your fingers to the front of his pants. His cock is straining against the fabric, and you open your eyes to see Seungcheol grinning when you gasp at how large he is. “When a man has a cock like mine, he can afford to be sure of himself.”

You shiver at his words, and it makes Seungcheol laugh. “Come on, let me take you to bed.”

He hauls you up before throwing you over his shoulder, landing a gentle spank on your ass. 

“Remember when I told you I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t even be able to leave the bed?” Seungcheol prompts as he tosses you onto the mattress. “You better get comfy, honey.”

“I think…” you feel your daring side beginning to surface, eyes dipping to watch Seungcheol’s skilled fingers unbuttoning his dress shirt, “I think I also remember something about you telling me my truth serum interrogation wouldn’t go unpunished.”

The agent pauses, a huge grin spreading across his face. “You’re cute, honey.”

“Yeah?” You reach behind your body, undoing the clasp of your bra and letting it slip to the wayside. “How so?”

Seungcheol’s pupils dilate, his eyes becoming dark, lustful pools. 

He doesn’t bother to answer your question, shrugging his shirt off before leaning over you, his hands pressing into the bed to box you in while his lips find yours. It’s a needy kiss, his tongue gliding out to meet your own, but you don’t mind at all.

You cup his face, moaning against him, fingers teasing over his strong shoulders.

Seungcheol is built, even for an agent. Certain men who work with you have leaner physiques, and Seungcheol is not one of them. He’s all big and broad, with lines of muscle that you could trace for hours if given the chance.

His lips begin to trail down to your throat, and you let out a whimper of anticipation when his breath fans across your pebbled nipples.

However, when he gets to your breasts, Seungcheol avoids sucking on the most sensitive spots. He looks up at you, grinning. “I think it’s time for that punishment now.”

“Yeah?” You can’t help the excitement that bubbles through you.

“I want you on your knees, ass up, and take off your panties while you’re at it.”

You know what’s coming when you follow through with the command. The cool air in the room feels nice on your newly exposed, hot core, and you make a show of everything, arching your back.

You can hear Seungcheol let out a deep breath, his hands ghosting over your ass.

“If this hurts too much, let me know.”

“Do your worst,” you counter, wiggling your hips and resting your face against the bed sheets, exhaling deeply in preparation.

You expect a harsh smack, but instead, Seungcheol presses a soft kiss to your right cheek. “I’m punishing you because you took advantage, you know that, right?”

“Uh huh, part of me knew I was being bad interrogating you while you were truth-serumed, but part of me needed to know what your answers would be.”

“Between us, I’m glad you asked the questions you did, or you might not be in my bed right now.”

“I’m glad too,” you confess. “Now, come on Angel Eyes, punish me.”

“I love a woman who takes what she deserves with grace.”

“After this, I deserve your cock.”

“Do you now?” Seungcheol lets out an amused chuckle, grabbing your ass with both hands and squeezing. 

“Maybe you deserve my pussy,” you muse thoughtfully.

“Now that’s something I can definitely get behind,” he agrees. “Count these out for me, honey, I’ll give you ten.”

The first smack makes you recoil in surprise, the sound flooding your senses before the sharp pain that blossoms across your skin.

“One,” you announce, balling your hands into the bed sheets.

“How did that feel?” he asks, gently smoothing his palm across the still-burning flesh.

“Good.”

The next hit is a little harder and it makes you whimper,  but you do your best to stay steady, unmoving, ready to take what you deserve. “Two.”

Three and four come on your other cheek, and you’re thankful for the reprieve, but smack number five returns to the first side he’d battered, and it stings even more now. However, it’s a pleasantly hot sensation, and your core throbs knowing you’re halfway through your punishment, all the more close to your reward.

“You look like you’re enjoying this too much,” Seungcheol muses, groping your ass again, squeezing hard enough to hurt.

“Maybe I am,” you tell him, looking over your shoulder at the agent. 

He grins down at you, lifting a hand- your body flinches involuntarily, and Seungcheol’s smile widens. “Getting sensitive already, huh?”

“Yes,” you admit.

The next slap lands on your pussy, something you hadn’t been expecting, and a squeal of delight erupts out of you at the sensation on your clit.

“You liked that, didn’t you?” Seungcheol asks.

“Uh huh,” you nod, clenching the bed sheets even tighter.

“How's your clit feeling after one orgasm?” he prompts, thumb finding the sensitive bud and rubbing it in small circles.

“Feels so good,” you whimper.

“You’re practically dripping, honey, didn’t take you for a pain slut.”

“Be nice,” you chastise him.

“Oh?” 

Another smack lands on your ass and you dutifully call out “Six.” 

“You don’t like being called a little pain slut?” he asks.

“No,” you shake your head. “Please call me nice things.”

“Okay, honey, I can do that,” he concedes, and the next spank isn’t as hard as the last. “You’re being so good for me. We’re almost done.”

“Can’t wait for you to fuck me, I’ve been waiting so long-”

“We’ll get there,” Seungcheol promises, leaning down to press a kiss to your lower back. When he pulls away, number “Eight” comes quickly thereafter.

Your skin is buzzing with anticipation now, and you’re nearly writhing against the bed, but you do your best to be as still as possible while Seungcheol completes this punishment focused foreplay.

After smack number nine, you hear Seungcheol undo his belt, and it takes everything inside of you not to turn around and get a good look at his cock.

He smacks his length gently against your ass, and you let out a small, “Ten?”

He laughs. “No, honey, this is ten.”

The sound of the slap echoes through his room, the hardest of them all so far, and you release a strangled cry, your ass on fire from where he’d hit you.

“That was the pain, now here’s the pleasure.” He rubs his cock through your wet folds, and slips the tip inside, stretching you out wonderfully. The sensation distracts from your sore bum, and your whimper becomes a moan as he drives deeper and deeper into you. “Tell me you like it.”

“I love it,” you blurt, already pushing back toward him in an effort to feel everything.

You’re not sure how big he is, only that he’s bigger than anyone you’ve ever been with, but after the tension of your punishment, and the orgasm before that, your pussy greedily swallows up everything he has to give until he’s flush to your still stinging ass.

“Fuck,” Seungcheol cusses, gently grabbing at your hips. “How’s that feel?”

“I feel so full,” you tell him, pussy fluttering around his cock.

“I’ll make you feel fuller,” he promises.

“Yeah?”

“You’re on birth control?”

“Uh huh.”

“Then I’ll definitely fill you up, mark this pussy as all mine, are you okay with that?”

“More than okay with it,” you moan. 

“That’s my good girl,” Seungcheol praises you, beginning to thrust.

“Fuck-” you whimper, loving the feeling of his cock dragging along your inner walls. 

Your eyes are closed, your focus entirely on Seungcheol as he starts to fuck you, rougher and rougher until his balls are slapping against your clit with each motion.

“Your pussy feels so good,” he tells you, grip tightening on your hips. “It’s like you were made for me, honey.”

The idea causes a visceral reaction, your entire body thrumming with pleasure. You can only moan in response, beginning to move back so you can meet each one of his thrusts.

“And this ass-” One of Seungcheol’s hands moves to cup your sensitive flesh, making you groan even louder. “Fucking perfect. Rub your clit for me, want you to cum again.”

Your hand is shaky as you bring it between your legs, finding your sensitive clit. Your core clenches desperately around Seungcheol and he lets out a deep moan of appreciation.

“That’s my good girl, being so good for me. So good at taking orders.”

You can’t help but let out a small laugh. It’s as if things were always meant to be this way, you were meant to let him be in control, not the other way around. This feels so much more natural than you telling him what to do ever did.

“Don’t laugh,” Seungcheol chastises you, fucking you even harder. “I’m trying to be nice to you, like you wanted.”

“I just-” you groan when his cock slams into your gspot. “It was never supposed to be me telling you what to do.”

“I’m glad we agree on something,” Seungcheol muses, his motions slowing ever so slightly. “Fuck this, I want to see you.”

He pulls out of your pussy, flipping you onto your back. The contact of the bed against your ass makes you groan, but the sight of Seungcheol’s perfect body looming over you has you distracted less than a moment later.

His cock is big… cut, curving slightly to the left, with a prominent vein that you want to trace with your tongue-

He presses the head of his length to your pussy, easing himself into you while he positions you in missionary. When he’s fully inside of you again, he meets your gaze, then he looks down at your lips.

“You’re so pretty like this,” he whispers before pressing his mouth to yours.

You grab at his strong shoulders, getting lost in the kiss as he begins to fuck you again, the whole bed shaking with the power of his thrusts.

You’ve never made sounds like this in bed before. You’re moaning like a whore, but Seungcheol eats up every whimper, his tongue gliding against your own.

Your fingers thread through his hair, keeping him close as he fucks you closer and closer to the edge.

The agent pulls away, breathing heavily. “I can feel you clenching, honey, gonna cum again?”

“Gonna cum on your big cock,” you tell him.

“Yeah?”

One of his hands slips between your bodies, fingers applying pressure to your clit.

You whimper loudly, back arching off the bed. Seungcheol takes the opportunity to finally draw your nipple into his mouth, his teeth grazing over the sensitive bud.

You gasp, body on fire from all the wonderful sensations. “I’m so close-” you tell him.

“Then cum for me,” he murmurs, rubbing your clit even harder. “Cum on my cock.”

It only takes a few more seconds for you to follow through with his command, the cord snapping in your stomach as your release takes over. Your pussy clamps down on Seungcheol, and when he lets out a groan, you know your body is milking him for every drop of cum that he has.

His thrusts have become sloppier, more erratic, deeper- and each one has him kissing your cervix, which is a delightful feeling. 

You hold him to your breast through your high, and he diligently sucks on your nipple, fucking you until he can’t fuck you anymore.

Finally, Seungcheol slumps down against you, applying some of his weight over you like a weighted blanket.

He’s panting hard against your breasts, cheek pressed to the center of your chest.

“Your heart is going wild, honey,” he muses after a moment.

All you can do is laugh, unable to find the words just yet after the power of your release.

Instead, you stroke his hair, and Seungcheol lets out a murmured moan, nuzzling closer to you. “I do love you, you know.”

“I know.”

He chuckles. “You aren’t going to say it back?”

“Take me on a date first,” you tease.

“Tomorrow, if you can still walk, I’ll take you out.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.” He presses a kiss to your sternum. “If you can’t walk, I’ll bring the date to you.”

“How romantic,” you say sarcastically.

“Don’t start with me, honey,” he warns.

“I’m not starting anything,” you defend yourself with a giggle.

He looks up at you, eyes sparkling. “Sure you’re not.”

You lean down to kiss him gently, loving how domestic this whole thing has turned. But of course, ever the sex fiend, Seungcheol quickly ruins it. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll fuck you again.”

You can’t help but shake your head. “You promise?”

“If you’re going to talk back like this, make it five.”

He’s such a fuck, but you kind of love him.

☀️ mlist + an. Thank you so much for reading! I know recently I've been doing a lot of short and sweet fics, hoping for a longer one next month :)

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🔮 preview. “We tried letting you be in control,” he responds, pushing your legs together as he straddles you from behind. “It wasn’t as fun as me being in control though."

cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, dom/sub themes, powerplays, Seungcheol tries to be a little submissive, he’s not great at following directions, dirty talk, fingering, multiple reader orgasms, blow job, mention of deep throating, nipple play/nipple pinching, creamipie, cumming together, etc…   I petnames. (hers) honey

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.2k I teaser wc. 175

🌙 starring. Seungcheol x afab!Reader

bonus

“Hey, big guy,” you grin as you enter the apartment, eyes finding Seungcheol sitting on the living room couch. “How was your day?”

He pauses his show to look at you, flashing a tired smile. “It was okay.”

“Yikes,” you immediately go to join him on the couch, cuddling up to his side. “The new handler still being a bit of a dick?”

“Joshua was hand-picked by Jeonghan, it’s not like I can do anything about it,” Seungcheol sighs. “How about you, still enjoying the wizz kid?”

“Dino’s a good one,” you insist. “He follows instruction very well.”

Seungcheol scoffs, rolling his eyes. 

“You still jealous that I’m in his ear and not yours?” you tease, poking your boyfriend’s chest.

“Don’t go there, honey,” he warns.

“Come on- it could be fun. I think having someone who listens well has built my confidence… you know, we could try it out a little, if you want.”

“You want me to be submissive?” Seungcheol’s brows raise in a sort of shocked amusement. “Not a chance in hell.”

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[humanstein]

I am extremely convinced that we are just beginning to unwrap what's going on with Ruby Sunday.

Ruby received the perfect fairy tale outcome—wish-fulfillment-level picture perfect. No New Who companion has had such a mellow and completely amicable resolution.

The mystery of her mother resolves with a blameless biological mother who made the right choice and a father who didn’t know she existed. And the mom who raised her is there too. She gets to have everyone. That happy ending was like a picture-perfect Christmas card, narrated by Mrs. Flood.

Additionally, I will need to rewatch to make sure but it did not seem like winter when they were at the coffee shop, yet it’s snowing at the end when we pan up to Mrs. Flood. Unless that was supposed to be much later...?

They also kinda raised more questions about 73 Yards than they answered. They confirmed that Ruby did not prevent the timeline in 73 Yards and additionally made that timeline essential to uncovering who Ruby's mother was. They also emphasized 73 Yards as the limitations of the TARDIS perception filter. Were the people in 73 Yards seeing beyond a filter on Ruby? Is the TARDIS projecting something on Ruby? Did both Rubys cancel each other's out? What did they see?

I'm completely willing to accept that ending if it’s just what it says on the jar, but I'm very suspicious right now. The "watch where you step" thing hasn't paid off yet either.

Something is still up. I’m starting to think the TARDIS is hiding something about Ruby and might have even conjured up Ruby's mom and dad out of nothing to keep hiding it. I know thats a little crack pot.

To clarify, I really liked the episode and I can certainly appreciate the themes of having her mother be normal and having intense value projected onto her.

However, that doesn't explain why the memory was changing, why it snowed, or why Sutekh would be especially interested. Certainly, the TARDIS has encountered more intriguing mysteries. Additionally, I feel like we would have been shown her face in the time window or the video somehow. It's either something or a bit of a missed opportunity in the script.

I feel like “projections of Ruby's subconscious” and “TV show” might still be on the table. Tell me if I'm off my rocker, but combine this with the fact that we know Ruby will be back, and, well, I think there's much more still to come.

So, basically, I'm thinking this is some sort of fake-out.

[heartateasee]

“Blindfolded”

famous!harry x you

Word Count: 10.1k

Warnings: attempts at dom/sub play (it’s their first time trying, so neither of them are the best at it), bondage, blindfolding (obviously), edging, oral sex (m & f receiving), talks of masturbation, sir kink, ma’am kink, pain kink (not too much), mutual masturbation, size kink, protected sex & unprotected sex (I think that covers everything, but if I missed something, please let me know!)

Plot: You had heard of a sex club where others sign up to give themselves over to pleasure, but the last thing you expected when being assigned a room was not only your partner already being blindfolded and tied to the bed, but that you also recognized him.

◭ ◮ ◭ ◮

You walked into the hallway of the club, pulling your trench coat tighter around your frame. The club was unmarked on the street - only the building number on display. Unless you knew about this club, you wouldn’t look twice in its direction. Clearing your throat, you walked forward to the woman who was behind the glass window, and you sent her a soft smile.

“Hello, I’m just…checking in for the night,” you stated.

You weren’t really sure how to address it. This was all new to you. You heard about the club from a friend after a wine night where you had a little too much to drink, and it ended up with the two of you having a healthy conversation about sex. She told you that she frequented this club with her current partner whenever they were looking for a third, but really any type of scenario went.

The club was very strict about everything being consensual, and all partners had to submit STD testing as well as signing an NDA to protect their partner(s). Lockers were located right next to the glass window where you checked in, and you had to lock up your phone and any other personal belongings. They provided everything you needed for pleasure, as well as pajamas if you intended on staying the night. There was also a button in the room that you could press in case a partner wasn’t obeying the rules - that way the proper authorities could be notified.

“Real last name?” She asked, turning towards the computer.

“Y/L/N.”

The club didn’t allow you to use your real names once inside. You could choose a fake name if you wanted to, but you decided to forgo it. You figured whoever you were paired with would give you some sort of pet name for the night, and that would be that.

“I’ve got you checked in. Here’s the key to your room,” the woman slid the key through the small opening at the bottom of the window. “Your partner is already in there waiting. Just a refresher - all personal belongings go into the locker in the room to the right. Room service is available to the room upon request, and if you need additional toys other than the ones that you asked for, those can also be delivered to the room, if needed.”

“Thank you,” you nodded.

Sucking in a deep breath, you walked into the room with the lockers and put everything but the key to both your room and locker inside. You made sure it was locked properly before heading down the hallway - making sure to follow the sign on the wall that pointed you in the direction of the proper room numbers.

As you approached your own door, confirming you had the right one by checking the number on the key for what seemed like the hundredth time, you hesitated as you held the key to the lock. You knew that you were going to be safe, and that this was something you really wanted, you just couldn’t help but feel the nerves swirling in your stomach. 

The reassurance you had stemmed from the fact the club had everyone fill out the same questionnaire and they paired people together by who they thought would fit best. You knew this person was going to have similar interests and kinks as you, but you had never done something like this before. Hell, you had only had one or two one night stands in your life. It wasn’t like you to have sex with complete strangers.

“You can do this,” you whispered to yourself before slipping the key into the lock and turning it.

You walked into the room to see that it was pretty dark, the low lighting paneled along the wall just barely illuminating the area you would soon be walking into. Tucking the key into the pocket of your trench coat, you locked the door behind you and started further into the room - your heels lightly clicking across the floor.

Reaching a hand out, you turned the dial on the wall that you knew would turn the lighting up just a little more, and you couldn’t help but gasp as you saw your partner already on the bed. 

He was blindfolded - stripped down to his briefs with his hands tied to the headboard.

This was one of the more obscure things you thought you had marked off on the list, not really knowing if a male would be up to being so submissive right off the bat, but here he was. You stepped further into the room, and at first you wondered if he had fallen asleep before you just barely saw his fingers curling into his palm.

“Hello,” you stopped walking at the sound of a deep British accent, and you could feel your arousal already beginning.

“Hello,” you replied sweetly as you now stood right next to the side of the bed.

Your eyes wandered over his body, eyebrows narrowing as you realized you were familiar with a lot of the ink adorning his skin, but once you caught sight of the large butterfly tattooed in the middle of his abdomen - it hit you.

Lying before you was Harry fucking Styles.

You wouldn’t say that you were a die-hard fan of Harry’s by any means, but you were familiar with all the singles he had released, as well as a few others. Oddly enough, your friend that told you about the club was super into him, Harry having been her favorite from the One Direction days, and you couldn’t even begin to imagine how she would’ve reacted if she and her partner had somehow been paired up with him instead.

Deciding to help him remain anonymous, even though you knew he had to know the risks of being here and being recognized, you decided you wouldn’t acknowledge knowing who he was - at least not yet. You were sure that it would come up at some point throughout the night. For now, you’d leave it be.

“I hope I haven’t kept you waiting too long,” you stated as you fiddled nervously with your fingers.

You didn’t know how you were going to be able to just jump into this dominant position that you so desperately wanted to. You weren’t sure if he had ever done anything like this, and that made you anxious. What if you weren’t any good?

“Not too long,” he responded, and you saw his tongue dart out to wet his bottom lip. “I hope it’s okay that I already had them do this for you. I’m…I’m a bit nervous. Being blindfolded already is kind of helping me though.”

“You’ve never done something like this before?” 

You took a seat at the edge of the bed - still keeping your distance until both of you gave proper permission to begin.

“Not like this, no,” Harry shook his head. “I’ve been to sex clubs before, but they were really different. I’ve been wanting to try this one out for a while. I just didn’t know if I would ever actually have the balls to do it.”

“I know what you mean,” you laughed softly. “Took a drunken conversation with my friend to reveal any of this side of myself to her, and she’s the one who told me about this place.”

Harry joined you in your laughter for a moment. “It’s kind of a relief to know this is your first time too. I hope I’m not pissing you off by speaking too much. I know I’m technically supposed to be your submissive right now.”

You stood up from the bed as you undid the tie of your trench coat, letting it fall off your body before draping it over a chair in the corner of the room. 

Slowly, you walked back over to the bed and pushed yourself up onto it - up on your knees. You allowed your eyes to take in the body laid in the middle of the mattress once more before looking up to his blindfolded face.

“I figured it was okay to talk a little bit before starting. You’ve eased my nerves as well,” you assured him. “Can I straddle you now? I just want to go over a few more things before we actually start.”

It was silent for a moment before Harry nodded.

“Words, puppy,” you tapped into your inexperienced dominant side for just a moment - testing the waters.

“Yes, ma’am,” he breathed, and you moved a bit closer before straddling his waist.

You still didn’t sit down all the way as you really did want to make sure you both were completely on the same page before beginning. 

“Everything that was on your list that was sent to me earlier this week, I just want to make sure that all still stands, and nothing has changed.”

The club sent out paperwork to you on Monday letting you know you had a partner paired up. Attached to the email was a checklist that was marked off. No name was on it, obviously, but it went over things your partner was agreeable to participate in, and things they were not - hard limits. You now blatantly know that list was filled out by Harry.

Harry received the same email, but with your checklist attached.

“Everything is still the same. How about you?”

“Still the same,” you agreed as you leaned forward just a bit to ghost one of your hands over his muscled pec. “Stoplight system for the both of us, yes?”

You could tell Harry sucked in a deep breath at the touch, and goosebumps instantly covered his tanned skin.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good boy,” you praised him before taking your hand away. You were almost sure that you heard him stifling a whine at the lack of contact. “Let’s begin.”

Lowering yourself completely down, your thighs brushed against his sides as your mound was pressed against the bulge in his briefs. You could tell he was in the early stages of a hard-on with the way he instantly pulsed against you, and that made you feel like you were doing things right so far.

“We’re going to try edging,” your hands went back up to graze over his torso, and you watched as his abs contracted underneath your palms.

Although you had been shown over a hundred pictures of Harry from your friend, you had never really felt an attraction to him until this very moment. Sure, you thought he was a good-looking guy, but you never thought too much about it. You also never noticed just how toned and muscular he was, and your mouth practically watered at the tattoos covering him.

“Okay.”

You could hear the nerves in his voice, but his body was more than responsive to your touch. His back arched as you caressed higher - fingertips brushing over his hard nipples. Harry mewled while wiggling his legs underneath you, and that in itself sent a pulse straight between your thighs.

“You’re a little needy thing, aren’t you?” You cooed, moving forward slightly to have your stomach resting against his lower abdomen.

You pressed your lips against each of his swallows before trailing them down to one of his nipples. Flicking your tongue out, you let the tip of it round the pert bud a couple times before sucking it into your mouth.

Harry moaned, and you gazed up to see him tugging against the restraints - nails digging into his palms.

“You like that, puppy?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he whimpered. “That’s really nice. I like that a lot.”

He went silent again as you sealed your lips around his other nipple, and you could feel his cock plumping right up against you. That turned you on more than you thought it would. Knowing that it was your actions that were having him squirming while getting hard.

“C-Can I ask a question?” Harry’s whiney voice caused your motions to cease, and you pushed yourself up by resting your hands against his chest.

“Sure,” you nodded even though he couldn’t see you - letting the dynamic break for a moment.

“Are you…are you wearing fishnets?”

You couldn’t help but smile at his question as you moved a bit further up so your face covered over his. “I am, yes.”

“What else?” His voice was breathless as you were sure he could feel how close you had gotten to him in proximity.

“Just a pair of black cheeky panties underneath them with a matching black bra. I still have some lace up heeled ankle boots on my feet.”

“Oh my god,” Harry’s hips bucked up against you, and you couldn’t help but gasp at the feeling of his bulge nudging your throbbing clit. “That’s all?”

“I had a trench coat on when I first came in, but that wouldn’t be comfortable for either of us, now would it?”

“I wish I could see you. It sounds wonderful.”

Your heart fluttered a bit at his words, but you had to remind yourself that this wasn’t romantic. This was only two people giving into their deepest desires with each other, and after you left, your normal lives would resume.

“Soon, puppy,” you tilted your head down to have your lips brush gently against his. “I promise I’ll take your blindfold off once I’m finished.”

“Can I ask something else?”

“Mhmm,” you hummed, moving your head from side to side to continue teasing.

“Could you keep it all on until after you take my blindfold off? I want to see you in it.”

“That was my plan already.”

Harry tilted his chin up as if he were so eager to connect your mouths, but you pulled back with a soft chuckle.

“Trying to take, are you?”

“No, no, I’m sorry,” Harry stammered, going to reach for you as you shimmied back down his body, but once again, the restraints kept him from being able to grab you. “I’m still learning, ma’am, I’ll be good. I promise.”

“I’ll give you a warning, okay?” 

The tips of your fingers danced along the waistband of his briefs as you felt your nerves setting in again. This was when you wanted to turn things up - to properly edge him like you told him you were going to.

“Thank you, ma’am,” you could hear the sigh in his voice as he responded. You were sure he was scared of being punished, and was relieved when he knew you weren’t going to be doing that.

“You’re so polite,” you gripped to his briefs and tugged them down just enough to release his hard length.

Your eyes widened as you watched it slap against his stomach, and you also heard the gasp that left him at the fact he was now exposed to the cool air. As much as you wanted to look at his face, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his hardened member. 

He was definitely the biggest you had ever come across. You couldn’t help but wonder if you were going to be able to make him fit without you having any type of foreplay, but you hoped that edging him would get you worked up enough to do so.

Deciding that you were done informing him of the decisions you were going to make, considering you both knew what this was, you moved further down his body before taking his shaft into your hand. You gathered spit into your mouth and slowly let it drip onto his tip so you could smear it and start to give him long strokes.

You could tell that his toes were curling into the mattress, and you looked up to his face to see his head tilted back - pink lips parted.

“Fuck me,” he moaned, and you were quick to give him a pinch to his inner thigh.

“Polite ones like you aren’t supposed to use such nasty words,” you scolded him - stopping your movements. His moan did have you ruining the black underwear that you made him so aware of, but you knew you had to keep up the act. “If you do that again, you’re not going to come at all.”

“S-Sorry,” Harry stammered, and you were sure if you could see his eyes, tears would be welling up with how strained his voice was. “I’m sorry, ma’am. Your hand just feels so good around me. Thank you for pleasuring me.”

A soft smile pushed its way through your exterior at his gratitude, and you could tell that he meant it more than just in this scene specifically. He was thanking you for being the one to help him try this entire experience out. 

“You’re welcome, puppy. Just let me take care of you. Even though it’s going to feel like I’m punishing you, I promise I’m going to reward you, okay? Do you understand?”

“Yes, yes. I understand.”

“Good boy,” you pressed a small kiss to his tip as you started up your strokes again, and you could tell he was trying to keep his hips down against the mattress to please you.

You continued just your strokes for a while - spitting on him when you knew you could feel he needed more lubricant. This was your first time ever just jumping right into something like this, but you knew this was how you needed to be in order to go through with this whole thing.

“I’m going to come,” Harry choked out, and you quickly took all contact away from him, sitting back the heels of your boots as you stared down at him with your hands on your thighs.

His cock bobbed and you watched as he dripped onto his stomach - hands clenched into fists as he sucked in a deep breath.

“Color?” You asked, reaching out again to gently rub his thighs with your palms.

“Green,” he nodded. “Green, I promise.”

“Okay.”

Moving one of your hands up, you wrapped it around the bottom of his length - brushing your pinky against his balls before planting a kiss to his leaky tip. That had his legs tensing up underneath you, and you parted your lips to take him into your mouth. 

“That’s nice,” he whispered above you, and you weren’t even sure if he knew he had said it out loud.

Arching your back, you slowly lowered yourself until your mouth met your hand, and then you moved that away to nuzzle the tip of your nose into the trail of hair below his belly button. You heard Harry’s breath hitch in the back of his throat before you swallowed around him. This caused his abs to clench, his thighs closing around your shoulders as he now had his feet flat on the mattress.

You were breathing deeply through your nose, allowing yourself to keep as low as possible for a few moments longer before pulling your head back up - beginning to work what you could no longer fit in your mouth with your hand.

You could feel his precome bubbling out and landing onto the pad of your tongue, and you hummed around him at how perfect he tasted.

Curling your tongue, you teased the prominent vein running underneath his head with the tip of it, and you could feel his legs starting to tremble against your sides.

“Ma’am,” he panted, and you peeked up once more to see him completely arched - the underside of his chin on full display. “Getting close.”

Deciding to tease him just the slightest bit more, you hollowed out your cheeks and allowed more of your spit to drip down the sides of your mouth so you could work him faster with your hand.

“Oh, I’m gonna-”

Harry didn’t even get a chance to finish his sentence as you stopped all your movements again. His cock fell from your mouth, but instead of sitting back onto your heels, you hovered over him by bracing yourself on his thighs.

Your eyes widened as Harry’s whines and whimpers didn’t stop while his torso squirmed. You knew he had truly been right on the edge that time. 

“Still green?” You asked, crawling to straddle his waist - rubbing yourself against his wet length.

“Yes, I am, but I’m afraid if I’m not inside you soon, then I might not be anymore,” he confessed.

The tone of his voice warned you that he was scared you wouldn’t appreciate that answer, so you decided to ease him a bit.

“Very good telling me exactly how you feel, puppy. I know this is all about teasing, but I also want you to feel safe,” you explained as you reached over to the nightstand to grab one of the foil packages in the basket. “I’m going to put the condom on you now.”

Ripping the square open with your teeth, you properly held the tip as you rolled it down onto his length, and even that touch had Harry groaning. You ensured that it was properly in place before reaching between your legs and letting your fingers slip through the hole hovering over your mound so you could pull your underwear to the side.

You popped his tip inside you without warning, knowing that this is what you had both consented to already, and he let out the most lewd moan of the night. You clenched around him due to the sound, but also because of how full he was already making you feel.

“Such a good boy for me,” you began to lower yourself slowly - savoring the feeling of him entering you for the first time. “Feel so good too. I was scared you weren’t going to fit, but I knew I could make it happen. It’s mine to use, right?”

“Yes, yes,” Harry nodded, chest heaving as you finally sat down completely on top of him. Your hands now rested against his torso again as you gave each of you a second to ground yourselves. “Whatever you want. Use me, ma’am.”

That caused your walls to pulse around him again before you started to rock your hips back and forth - just grinding over him. You moaned as you tilted your head back, and you couldn’t help but to dig your nails into his chest. He hissed softly at the feeling.

“I like that,” he spoke up before you could retract them from his skin. “I…I like a little bit of pain.”

“Yeah?” Now you were starting to raise yourself up and down his shaft, and you could feel him hitting all the spots that brought you the most pleasure. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

After you had a good feel of it all, you began to properly ride him - the rounds of your ass slapping down against the tops of his thighs. The sounds of pleasure bounced off the walls of the high ceiling room, and you began to hover over him even more while keeping your hands steady on his chest.

“Can you lean forward a little more, please, ma’am?” Harry asked, and you slowed your movements for a moment.

You weren’t sure what this request was about, but you leaned forward a bit more like he asked, and you watched as the tips of his fingers captured a strand of your hair. He hummed as he rubbed it between the pads of his index finger and his thumb, and you could see a smile begin to stretch across his features.

“Pretty,” he said, his deep dimples indenting into his cheeks for the first time tonight.

“You haven’t even seen me,” you laughed lightly, biting down on your bottom lip. For some reason, that small compliment had you blushing.

“Don’t need to. I like the sound of your voice, and your hair is soft. You’re pretty.”

“And you’re so sweet,” you leaned down to properly kiss him, and you immediately parted your lips - his own following suit.

Your tongues tangled together, and you could feel the dominant side of you slipping away. Sure, it was fun knowing that you were completely in control, but something about this had tingles spreading all over your body. You were unsure if you were going to tap back into the play you had started, but for now, you’d let both of you indulge in something new.

Harry’s fingers now curled around your strand of hair, pulling a little more along with it before he tugged you down even further into his chest. Your breasts were now pressed flush against his pecs, and you weren’t sure if it was the hammering of his heart or yours that you could feel so clearly.

Using the leverage you now had from being braced against him, you moved your knees up the bed a bit further, and you began to ride him again at a quicker pace. This angle had his shaft grazing against your clit deliciously - causing you to whine into his mouth.

“You like that, baby?” Harry pulled his lips away from yours just slightly. “I like feeling you pressed against me.”

If your eyes weren’t already closed, they would be rolling into the back of your head with how his tone had changed. It filled you with such hunger, and you were chasing your orgasm even more now than before. Your intention was to never edge him during this part, so you weren’t disappointed with having to give that up given your current position.

“I won’t be long,” you managed to get out between your hard thrusts. “You got me so worked up.”

“I’m already about to explode,” Harry nipped at your bottom lip, and you clamped down around him due to the sensation. “Your hand and your mouth felt so good, but I knew your cunt was going to feel better. Sure enough, I was right. A tight little thing you are.”

“Fuck, your mouth,” you moaned, shaking your head. “Never had someone talk so dirty to me.”

“Never? Such a shame,” he clicked his tongue against the back of his teeth. “I can feel you dripping onto my thighs. I can honestly say that I’ve never had someone have that type of reaction to my mouth. Turns me on even more knowing just how I can get a pretty little thing like you off.”

Your mouths found each other once more, and your tongues were instantly gliding against one another, and you knew that you were right on the brink of your climax.

It was then that you felt Harry plant his feet against the mattress like he had before when you were going down on him, and he began fucking up into you to match your pace. 

“Oh, shit,” you mewled, resting your forehead against his as both of you panted into each other's open mouths. “I’m about to come.”

“Me too,” Harry pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Come with me.”

You nodded against him so he could feel it, and it was only a few more thrusts before you heard him choke out a moan. The feeling of his cock pulsing inside of you caused your orgasm to hit you full force - your body shuddering on top of his.

“Oh my god,” Harry said breathlessly as you both laid there.

After a few more seconds, you pushed yourself up and started to raise yourself off of him, but Harry’s voice stopped you.

“Wait,” he said quickly. “Can…can I touch you before you get off?”

The nerves that had completely vanished from your body began to fester in your stomach again as you reached forward - undoing both of the ties keeping him restrained to the headboard. His arms fell to the bed at first, and you watched as he stretched out his wrists a bit before his large palms smoothed over your thighs.

“Again, you’re so soft,” his fingers curled into the holes of your fishnets as he tugged on them slightly. “Can I see you now? Please?”

“Yeah…okay,” you whispered as you pulled the knot to the blindfold resting against the back of his head.

He kept his hands on you, giving the control of removing the cloth from his eyes completely to you. Once you gathered enough courage, you allowed the silky material to slide off his face, and you watched as Harry blinked his eyes open. You were sure that the light, no matter how dim it was, caused him a bit of sensitivity.

It was only after a couple moments that he looked up at you fully, and you watched as his gaze wandered all over your face.

“Knew I was right,” he lifted a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek in his palm - thumbing your cheekbone. “So fucking pretty.”

“So are you,” you smiled. “Beginner’s luck, I’d say, is what we had. The two of us getting paired together for the first time.”

Harry chuckled at that before moving his hand to the back of your neck so he could pull you back down and kiss you again. You sighed happily, lifting your own hands to cup his face. It was only then that you felt him begin to soften inside of you - him still being hard until now.

“I should probably get off of you before we make even more of a mess,” you pecked his lips quickly before raising up to let him slip out of you.

You both winced at the feeling, and Harry took your hands to hold you steady as you got off the bed. After he pushed himself up onto his elbows, he discarded the condom - tying the end of it before tossing it in the trashcan and pulling his briefs up.

“I was going to take a shower before ordering some champagne and strawberries to the room. Would you like to join me?” You asked while repositioning your underwear into their proper place.

“I’d like that, if you’re truly offering,” Harry nodded, getting off the bed himself. “Are you staying the night?”

“I was planning to, but you don’t have to. This club isn’t the closest to my flat. It just makes it easier to stay,” you shrugged as you started off towards the en-suite that was connected to the large room.

“I would like to, but only if you’re comfortable with that.”

Bending down once you were in the adjoining tiled room, you looked behind you at Harry with a smile as you started to undo the ties of your boots. “I’d enjoy the company.”

You could see Harry’s eyes trailing over your figure as he leaned in the doorway - arms crossed over his chest while tugging his bottom lip through his teeth.

“You’re a gorgeous woman, I hope you know that.”

“And you’re very kind,” you laughed, slipping out of your boots. “And handsome.”

Walking over to the glass shower, you opened the door to turn on the water. You preferred hotter showers, but you weren’t sure if he did, so you didn’t turn it all the way up - settling for right between all the way hot and the middle.

“Would you mind if I undressed you?” Harry stepped further into the en-suite as you turned away from the shower.

“Not at all.”

Approaching you completely, Harry’s fingertips ghosted over your shoulders before caressing the outside of your arms. His eyes held yours as he reached behind you to skillfully undo the clasp of your bra - allowing it to fall to the floor. You expected him to draw you in immediately, but he still kept his eyes on your face as he lowered himself to his knees while pulling the waistband of your fishnets down with him.

The sight before you had you pressing your thighs together, causing you to gasp due to still being sensitive from your previous orgasm, but you couldn’t help it. It was so erotic. A man as beautiful as Harry down on his knees for you. You weren’t sure if anything could ever compare to it.

Reaching back up, Harry then began to remove your underwear as well, and you stepped out of both the fishnets and the underwear at the same time. His heart shaped lips pressed to every inch of your skin that he could as he raised himself back up, and once he was standing fully again, that’s when he allowed his eyes to take you in entirely.

“Christ,” he licked over his plump bottom lip. “You are a vision.”

You closed the space between the two of you as your digits wrapped around the waistband of his briefs. Just as he did to you, even though you had seen him already, you kept your eyes on his face as you kneeled down - ridding him of the material. Harry stepped out of them, and you sponged kisses against him as you stood back up. 

The tips of your fingers rested along each of his inked ferns on his lower abdomen as you leaned in to press your lips tenderly against his.

Harry hummed at the feeling, and it was then you felt his hands trickling down your back until he met the rounds of your ass. He kneaded the plush flesh in his palms - beginning to walk you backwards towards the shower. Keeping one hand on you, he opened the door and guided the two of you inside, but you were immediately pressed against one of the walls.

The kiss soon turned lustful, your fingers threading through the curls at the nape of his neck after throwing your arms around him. His body was conformed completely to yours as he rocked his hips forward. You gasped against his mouth at the feeling of him already growing hard again. Never had a man bounced back so quickly with you. You never had a partner turned on like this more than once in a night.

With one hand gripping to your hip, Harry’s lips left yours to trail along the damp skin of your neck, and then over your collarbone. Just like he did as he undressed you, he lowered himself down while treasuring your body before throwing one of your legs over his shoulder.

“So pretty down here too,” he lifted the hood of your clit - teasing the swollen bud with his lips as he continued to speak. “And you smell delicious. Can’t wait to taste you.”

Once Harry’s mouth was completely on you, you moaned while locking your fingers into his curls once again. You gave it some time just to treasure the movements he was feeding you on his own before rolling against them. 

As you ran your fingers through his hair, you remembered what he said about liking a bit of pain, so you decided to test it out by giving it a harsher tug. He moaned against your drenched cunt - sending vibrations from your lower abdomen to the tips of your toes.

“You’re so good at this,” you tilted your head back against the wall with your eyes shut.

You refrained from making a comment about that particular song of his at the moment. That wasn’t exactly how you wanted to reveal to him that you knew who he was, but now it all made sense. He was skilled in this department - knowing exactly what to do to get a woman off.

From pleasuring yourself, you knew that once you had one orgasm, it was easy for you to have another. It was unfortunate that you found that out through the means of masturbation and not at the hands of a partner, but here you were.

Harry continued his assault on your clit, and you were sure that he was going to have you coming again in no time.

You hummed as you tucked your bottom lip between your teeth. “I’m about there again.”

It was right after you spoke those words that Harry popped off of you, and you gasped, looking down at him with wide eyes.

“What? You think you’re the only one allowed to edge?” Harry smirked, poking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth. “Pretty sure you marked off that you would like to try out edging for yourself. I’m just doing you a favor, baby.”

His words caused the heat in your stomach to build even more, and you could tell by the look in his eyes that he was now entering his own dominant self.

“Please, sir,” you whimpered, feeding into it. “I’d like to come.”

“Is that so?” He kitten licked your pearl once more before nipping at the inside of your thigh. “Have you been a good girl? Do you think you deserve to come on my tongue?”

Swallowing harshly, you shook your head. “I…I don’t know, but I’ll do anything you ask. Please, just let me come.”

“Anything I want?” There was a gleam in his moss colored irises as he continued to stare up at you. “That’s a very big statement to make.”

“Well, I’m making it,” you narrowed your brows, and that had Harry quickly delivering a smack to your ass.

“Brat,” he hissed, running the tips of his fingers through your slit before planting another slap with them against your clit. “You were supposed to be my sweet little thing, and now you’re acting spoiled.”

“I don’t think I am,” your eyes bored into his own as you shook your head. “I told you I’d do anything you wanted, and you mocked me.”

Harry slowly raised up from his knees so he was hovering over you - the spray from the shower hitting against his back as he lifted a hand to wrap it around your throat. He leaned down to ghost his lips along the shell of your ear as he spoke.

“What I want is for you to show me how you make yourself come,” he whispered before stepping back and taking a seat on the bench that was in the corner of the large shower.

A pink tint covered your neck and your cheeks, and the two of you knew it wasn’t from the shower. You kept your eyes on his face as you trailed your hand down your torso, letting the tips of your index and middle fingers drop down to start circling your pulsing clit.

“Spread - let me see you properly.”

Bringing your other hand down - you parted yourself with a v-shape of your fingers and you pulled up to expose your puffy bud. Harry tilted his head to the side as he stared at your movements, and you watched as he brought a hand down to palm over himself lightly.

“Keep going, and don’t stop until I tell you to. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” you nodded before starting up your motions again.

His eyes didn’t look at your face at all as you continued to pleasure yourself, and your toes curled against the wet tiled floor as you could feel yourself nearing your end again so quickly. As much as the dirty talk was almost degrading, it turned you on more than you could’ve ever dreamed.

Your thighs clamped down around your hand as you felt yourself on the verge of coming again and you whimpered. “Please, let me come.”

“No,” Harry shook his head as he began to give himself strokes. “Keep going, and don’t come.”

You turned your eyes to the ceiling as you tried to think of yourself anywhere but here. It wasn’t that you didn’t like the pleasure, but you knew you were going to come if you kept looking at Harry - especially when he was getting himself off at the same time

There was always something about a guy openly wanking that could make you absolutely feral.

“Ah,” the clicking of Harry’s tongue against the back of his teeth caught your attention, and you groaned. “Look at me. Don’t look away.”

“Yes, sir,” you mewled, tears springing to the corner of your eyes as you fought against the band in your stomach that wanted to snap.

Harry’s fist sped up against his cock, and you felt a soft sob escape your chest as your lower abdomen jumped - a clear sign for you that you were about to have your orgasm even though he told you not to.

“Sir, I-I’m-” you stammered, shaking your head. “If I keep going, I’m going to come.”

“You won’t.”

“I will,” you cried out, nodding now as tears began to stream down your cheeks. “I can feel it, and if I keep looking at you like that, and touching myself, it’s going to happen.”

With a growl, Harry’s hand fell from his length and he pushed himself up. He strode over to you in large steps before sinking back down to his knees - pulling your hands out of the way to stuff his face against your weeping cunt.

“Oh my god,” you wailed, clutching to his hair like you had before. “Please, please tell me I can come, sir.”

“Come,” Harry just barely mumbled against you, and you tipped right over the edge as soon as he did.

Your legs shook as you finally released, and you gripped tighter to Harry’s curls as if they would keep you from slipping before slamming your hands back onto the slick glass wall. Harry could feel that your body was starting to fall, so he pressed you back farther and attached his hands to your hips to keep you upright.

His skillful tongue worked you through your climax completely before he pulled away. Your chest heaved as the aftershocks still blanketed over you, and you whimpered - eyes shut tight and looking away from him.

“Hey,” Harry cooed, his voice instantly changing as he stood up. He immediately cupped your face in his hands and forced you to face him. “Baby, open your eyes, please. Look at me. I need to make sure you’re okay.”

You blinked, your eyes opening with embarrassment as you stared at him, and he grazed his thumbs against your jawline.

“What’s your color? Did I push too hard?”

“I-I’m still green right now,” you told him honestly. “But I think I’m teetering on yellow.”

Harry’s arms wrapped around you as he pulled you into his chest - his long fingers stroking through your hair. “You did so good for me. I know you might think you didn’t, but you did. I could tell you were on the edge the entire time, but you held out just like I asked. Such a good girl. My sweet little thing.”

His words made you feel floaty as you allowed your eyes to close again, and you nuzzled your nose against his collarbone. 

“Can I wash you, baby? I don’t think you’re up for it too much right now, and I’d like to do it for you.”

You nodded weakly. “Yes, sir.”

“No,” he shook his head as he pulled back, looking down into your eyes. “Harry. I’m Harry right now.”

Him finally telling you his name, even though you knew it, started bringing you back to the present moment. “S-sorry,” you whispered. “Yes, Harry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Harry planted a soft kiss on your lips. “Nothing to be sorry for, beautiful. Now, walk forward underneath the water so I can get you all clean.”

Harry massaged shampoo into your hair, rinsing it out and then following up with conditioner, all while you kept your hands resting against his chest. Neither of you talked for a moment as he did this, and you could tell he had a look of concentration etched into his features.

“You told me your real name,” you whispered as he began to wash the conditioner out of your locks. “I thought people didn’t do that.”

“I don’t think they do,” he told you with a shrug. “But I didn’t mind telling you.”

You tilted your head back slightly, but still kept your eyes on him so he could get a better rinse under the showerhead. “I already knew who you were.”

Harry’s movements stopped for a moment, and you watched as his eyebrows pinched together before he continued his task. The two of you fell into silence again - causing your stomach to sink. 

Had you fucked it all up by telling him that?

Once he finished with your hair, he grabbed the travel sized shower gel that was on the shelf and lathered it in his hands before gliding his palms over your body. You moved your hands to rest on his shoulders, and you could tell now that Harry was avoiding your eyes.

“You can stop,” you told him, removing his hands from you - beginning to move the suds around with your own. “I’ve got it from here.”

Turning your back to him, you faced the showerhead and allowed the water to hit your face for a few seconds before letting it hit your torso. You heard the sound of the shower door opening, and you stopped moving as you could hear Harry shuffling around the bathroom. After giving it a moment or two, you glanced over your shoulder, and you knew he had walked back into the main room.

“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself, shaking your head as you wiped your hands over your wet face.

It took you a couple more minutes to clean all the suds off of your body, as well as use facial cleanser to remove your makeup, and you were so worried that Harry was going to sneak out within that time.

You slammed the faucet down so the water shut off before stepping out yourself, and you quickly wrapped a towel around your torso after drying off as best as you could in a rush. Once you stepped into the room, you saw Harry pulling on the sweatpants and shirt they had left for him as he shook his head. He hadn’t noticed you yet as you curled your hand tighter around the knot you had created to hold the towel up.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

Harry stopped moving with his back to you. “I should go.”

“I didn’t…it wasn’t like I planned this or anything, I promise. You know how strict this place is. It’s not like I could’ve ever known you were going to participate, and even if I did, it wasn’t like they would let me choose you specifically,” you shook your head and sat down on the side of the bed - a shiver creeping up your spine from the cold air. “I promise you that I’m not some crazy fan girl. My friend is super into you. She has been for years, so of course I was going to recognize your tattoos, but I’m not seeing this as me hooking up with Harry Styles, the celebrity, right now. I just see it as being with someone who was just as nervous as me for the night ahead, but you wanted to try something new.”

Eventually Harry turned to look at you, and you could see a glimpse of guilt behind his eyes. “I’m sorry. I was just already so worked up about coming here because of who I am, and then when you said you knew me, I panicked.”

“I panicked too when I realized it was you,” I nodded. “But that was only because I thought maybe you had done this before. That I wouldn’t live up to the expectations you had.”

Harry slowly made his way over to the bed and sat down beside you, and you placed your hand between the two of you - palm side up. He looked down at it for a moment before tracing his fingertips over the lines of your palm and then he clasped it tight while locking your fingers together.

“I already called for the champagne and strawberries quickly before you finished up,” Harry said, playing with your fingers. “I figured I could at least do that before I bailed.”

You laughed softly which caused him to finally look at you again like he had been before your confession. “I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to bail.”

“You really didn’t,” Harry shook his head. “I shouldn’t have assumed things - jumped to conclusions. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

A knock on the door captured the attention of both of you, and Harry stood up. “That’ll be room service.”

◭ ◮ ◭ ◮

You and Harry laid in the plush bed, naked and cuddled against one another as you sipped champagne and fed each other strawberries. Turned slightly toward him, you had your glass tucked to your chest with your cheek resting against his bicep - giggling as you bit into another piece of the sweet, juicy fruit. It had been at least half an hour since you thought your night was going completely south, but it turned itself around once the two of you started to actually talk and open up to each other more.

Harry had a large smile on his lips as he watched you - tossing the cap of the strawberry behind him blindly, having it land on the pile he had created in the middle of the plate resting on the nightstand. “You’re so fucking cute, and beautiful,” he told you, pulling your leg up to drape over his thigh a little more. “Feel like a right dickhead for doubting your intentions.”

Shaking your head, you traced your fingers over his chest. “It’s okay, I get it,” you assured him. “Someone like you can never be too careful.”

Moving your glasses of champagne over onto the nightstand next to the plate, Harry then turned to face you completely - hitching your leg over his hip now. 

“I’m, uh-” you cleared your throat for a second as you held his eyes. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

You saw a softness that you hadn’t seen tonight take over Harry’s features, and he smiled as he trickled his fingers down your spine. “Beautiful name for a gorgeous woman,” he complimented before leaning down to press his lips against yours.

The kiss was deep, different than the ones shared previously, and you moved yourself even closer to have his prick slotted right against your mound. You wanted him again. No one had ever made you feel the way Harry did during sex, and you hoped he would allow it to happen one more time before the time between the two of you was through.

It was nearing two in the morning now, but you didn’t feel tired in the slightest. Your adrenaline was pumping as the kiss started to dive headfirst into passion, and the two of you were now clawing at each other.

Maneuvering each other around, you pressed your breasts against the mattress as Harry slotted himself behind you - angling your hips up just enough to have them hovering as he teased you with the tip of his cock.

“Condom?” He breathed.

You swallowed as you thought about it before shaking your head. “I have an IUD, and we obviously know we’re clean. I’m okay without one if you are.”

Harry groaned as he dropped his forehead against your shoulder blade before guiding himself inside of you. Your fingers tightened into the fitted sheet as the stretch of him started to burn, but there was something so delicious about it at the same time. You were whining and moaning into the open air as he continued to slowly enter you, and once he was to the hilt, you both grunted.

“You were right earlier about not knowing if I could fit,” Harry nudged the tip of his nose against your earlobe. “You have to be the tightest pussy I’ve ever fucking had.”

That shot a spark straight to your core, and you arched your back to have your hips pressed more flush against his. “And you’re the biggest I’ve ever had.”

He huffed against the side of your neck as he pulled out just slightly before pushing his way back in. Soon, you felt him extending both of his hands out to reach yours, and you tangled your fingers together in front of your head - having your body entirely stretched out underneath him with your ass pressed tight against his pelvis.

“I’ve never done it like this before,” he admitted, pressing a kiss to the hinge of your jaw. “This position, I mean. It feels so good.”

“It does,” you agreed, pulsing around him on purpose to prove your point. “I’m so full, Harry.”

“Fuck,” he moaned, nipping at your jawline before pushing himself up a bit more. “I love hearing you say that, Y/N.”

After that, Harry started up a brutal pace of plunging in and out of your soaked pussy. The sounds escaping the two of you were borderline pornographic as you gave yourselves over to each other. Right now, this wasn’t any type of play that you had expected coming into tonight. You hoped it wasn’t just you, but you felt something deeper in your chest when it came to doing this right now with Harry. There was definitely a connection between the two of you - no matter how little the two of you knew about each other.

Eventually, you felt one of Harry’s hands leave your own to snake between you and the mattress, and he began to pinch at your swollen clit while continuing his purposeful thrusts.

“Come on, baby,” he coaxed you, sucking to the side of your neck for a moment. “Squeezing me like a goddamn vice. I need to feel you coming on me.”

That got you there before you even knew your orgasm had been approaching in such a way. Harry’s cock was now slick with you which caused him to glide in and out of you at an even faster rate, so when he stopped - you felt a pit of doubt forming in your chest. 

Had you done something wrong?

Without pulling out, Harry skillfully turned you on your back so he could see you, and he hitched your knees up against his sides. “I wanted to see you,” he expressed as he kissed the tip of your nose. “I haven’t been able to see you come on my cock yet. I need to see it. Need to engrave it in my memory.”

“God,” you closed your eyes, taking a second as you processed the words just spoken to you. “You’re going to make this extremely difficult for me, aren’t you? No one else is going to compare to this.”

It took a second before Harry cracked a smile and let out a soft laugh. “Well, I’m glad it’s not just me then. I don’t know how I’m going to get over you.”

“What…what if you don’t have to?”

Your eyes wandered over each other's faces as you dwelled on the scenario you had just put out there for the two of you. Was Harry’s life crazy? Sure, you absolutely knew that. You also knew that this maybe could end up leading to nothing big, but you really felt like the two of you owed it to yourselves to try. 

“You’d want to see me outside of here?” Harry asked, raising a hand to drag your bottom lip down with the pad of his thumb before letting it pop back into place. “Dating me isn’t easy, Y/N.”

“I know,” you nodded. “Are you sure you can’t hear my inner thoughts? Or did I say them out loud?”

You and Harry both giggled at that as he leaned down to engage in a tender kiss. Your lips separated with a small smack before he took your hips back into his hands.

“If you’re wanting to try, and go on a proper date when we leave here, then I’m all for that,” Harry told you. “I’m not sure if anything right now would make me happier than to be able to see each other again after tonight.”

“Then it’s settled,” you confirmed the whole thing before either of you could overthink it. “We’re going to be seeing each other again.”

Speaking just with your eyes now, Harry cupped one of your breasts in his palm - stroking over it with his thumb as he started up his thrusts against. This time, they weren’t so driven, but you knew he was trying to savor it rather than just go all in.

Your hands rested against the sides of his neck, soft breaths leaving you each time he filled you completely. Now this was unlike any other sex you had, but for a different reason. The way you were both looking at each other, you weren’t sure if you had ever had sex that felt so passionate. This was more adoring than it was lustful, and that in itself had ecstasy beginning to coat you all over.

Starting to feel that feathery feeling in your abdomen again, you closed your eyes and mewled, dropping your hands to the sides of your head as you turned slightly away from him. Harry then leaned down to press his lips against the side of your neck, his thrusts going deeper now as his hands enclosed your wrists.

“Almost there again, baby?” Harry asked, his soft grunts filling your senses. “You’re so warm. So soft. You’ve got me right here, but I’m not coming until I get you there one more time.”

“I’m almost there,” you gasped, nodding, turning your head back to face him, and he lifted his own to hover just slightly above your own. “Can’t believe you’re about to make me come four times in one night.”

Harry let out a breathless laugh before licking over his bottom lip. “You deserve even more, if I’m going to be honest,” he moved a hand down to press against the lower part of your stomach, and your breath hitched in the back of your throat. “A sweet girl with a sweet little pussy like yours - you deserve everything.”

“God, you’re unreal,” you clutched to his biceps as the defined muscles flexed underneath your palms. “Promise me you’ll be here when I wake up in the morning.”

Those words caused Harry to drive into you harder, and you practically screamed out in pleasure while moving your hands to drag your nails down his back.

“I’d never sneak out on you, Y/N,” his tone was firm as you squeezed your thighs against his hips. “I’ll be right next to you. The first thing you see when you open your eyes. I’m not running.”

White blinded your vision as your final climax washed over you, and before you knew it, Harry’s chest was pressed flush against yours as he emptied himself into your inviting cunt. On instinct, you squeezed down around him to try to hold every bit of it inside of you, and the moan that left Harry upon you doing that was unlike anything you had ever heard.

Skin sticky with sweat and the room smelling of the desires the two of you gave yourselves over to tonight, Harry stayed seated inside of you as you crossed your ankles over the small of his back - soothing your nails over his scalp as his arms wrapped tight around your torso.

His nose nudged against one of your breasts as he shifted slightly, but he fell right back into your embrace, neither one of you wanting to break away from this.

“This is not how I expected my night going, and I mean that in the best way,” you admitted as you continued the motions in his hair while caressing your other open palm against his freckled upper back. “This feeling…I’m probably going to sound so stupid, but I just thought I’d get this out of my system and leave here not really feeling any different.”

Harry tilted his head up, and you looked down at him as he cupped your ribcage - thumb running right along the ridges. “And now?”

“Now, I feel like there’s maybe a reason I came here on this specific night - like fate knew we needed to find each other. My friend who comes here said it’s rare that two beginners are paired up together. She said that they try to pair newer people with more experienced members so they feel fulfilled,” you explained. “So the fact that we ended up being in this room with one another is almost unheard of.”

Pressing his palms against the mattress, Harry pushed himself up to connect your mouths once again. “Then fate is what we’ll call it, Y/N. I feel the same way.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck as you engaged in another kiss, and as your tongue ran along Harry’s, you felt his prick twitch inside of you - causing you to giggle.

“Are you seriously getting hard again?” You teased, pushing a stray curl off of his forehead.

“When it comes to you? Yes,” Harry bucked his hips forward, causing you to gasp. “You didn’t think we were done for the night, did you?”

◭ ◮ ◭ ◮

Taglist: @daydreamingofmatilda @prettygurl-2009 @ghoststyles @lillefroe @gem1712 @lemoncrushh @namoreno @mellamolayla @fangirl7060 @idklilili @angeldavis777 @babyyhoneyyy @maksamillion (if you’d like to be added to my taglist, please send me a DM!)

[kandlewick]

i was thinking about this but as much as i love romantic malleus, i think platonic bestie hornton is equal if not better. you know those fics where grim is the one cock blocking all the other characters? imagine if it was your 6'6 bestie, future ruler of briar valley, the one the only malleus draconia. this man has the highest standards for you. he can't be swayed by a simple can of tuna. what is one meal to a near immortal fae? no, this man is subtly eyeing every single classmate that shows any sort of interest in you, silently judging for their intentions. he doesn't even need to threaten them, just him standing beside you is enough for them to get the picture. do not mess with his child of man. your suitors thought ace and deuce were bad, malleus is a whole other beast all together. if this person loved you like they claimed, whats a few card soldiers and a dragon? be like the heroic knight in legends long passed. fight for your maiden, prince, steal them away from their guardians. try it.

that's not to say he's unwilling to compromise. he loves his child of man very much even if they do make, in his eyes, unwise choices. you've made it very clear to him that even he makes choices that backfire. putting an entire island to sleep is not his proudest moment after all, but that doesn't change the fact he still worries. to him, you are so young, so fragile. isn't it said that your kind can die from a broken heart? the very thought of you leaving him due to his inaction has left him breathless on more then one occasion. where would he be without you?

so he watches and waits by your side, your ever present companion. your platonic soulmate. the man who walks you down the aisle and hands you off to your true love, just like in the fairy tales. he trusts you and loves you with every beat of his heart, his child of man, and he will be your best friend as long as you live and beyond. love never dies after all.

[ghouljams]

Sin Summer (Intermission: Ghost) Rating: E (MDNI) Words: 4.2k Tags: Ghost x f!reader, breath play, fingering (f!receiving), squirting, soft->rough sex, soft dom!Ghost, body writing, dirty talk, piv sex, possessive Ghost, Ghost likes sluts I've said it before and I'll say it again! Summary: You really need a break, and a shower. It's hard out here for a Barracks Bunny! You don't think you've ever been so grateful to see Ghost. <Part 5 ao3

Gaz holds your hand the whole way back to Ghost’s room. He talks in a low voice, telling you what a good job you did, how good you felt, how you can call him any time if you want more. You hum at the appropriate times, ignore the way your ass throbs, and drift on your thoughts until you’re set in front of Ghost’s door. Gaz knocks and after a moment Ghost tugs the door open. You blink at the skull mask, taking in the man in front of you. The stern set of his shoulders and bulky tactical gear make him seem larger than life. His narrowed eyes soften upon seeing you, his gloved hands reaching to take you from Gaz with a gentle touch. You’re passed off, and Gaz gives a mock salute with a grin.

“Tell your bird not to go wandering,” Gaz laughs, “lucky to get ‘er back in one piece.”

“Thanks,” Ghost rumbles. You lean against him, feel his hand settled protectively on your lower back. The rise and fall of his chest is hidden under bulky gear and harsh angles. You miss his heartbeat. You tip your head back when he leans down, his eyes so warm even behind the crude mask. “You alright lovie?” He asks. His voice is lowered, quiet so it feels like it’s just the two of you. You glance at Gaz.

“My ass hurts,” You grumble. Ghost’s shoulders shake with laughter, Gaz’s smile pinching so he doesn’t laugh along.

“Good lookin’ out,” Ghost nods at Gaz, and you're treated to another blinding smile. Ghost turns, ushering you into his room as the door closes behind you. You let out a breath for finally being back in familiar quarters. Your shoulders feel heavy, your eyelids drooping, Ghost's hand on your back pushes you toward his bed. You don't think you've ever been so glad to see his bare walls. You weren't lying when you said your ass hurt, you need a nap and a hot shower before you start feeling right again.

Ghost's hand pets up your spine, drawing up and down your back with a firm comforting pressure. You feel your muscles starting to unspool, the world narrowed to the tips of Ghost's fingers. The soft affection, the persistent touch, your shirt drags with his movements and all you can think about is how badly you want him to hold you right now. Ridiculous. You turn over onto your back and throw one of your arms over your eyes.

“Can't believe I let a sergeant fuck my ass,” You joke. It gets a soft chuckle from Ghost, his fingers moved from petting your spine to tracing idly over your thigh. 

“He's a persuasive fucker, isn't he?” You can hear the smile in Ghost's rough voice. You're sure you're mirroring it.

“Pretty too,” Ghost hums and you feel the need to tack on, “like you better though.”

“Yeah?” Ghost asks, like he doesn't believe you. There's something mirthful in his voice. You raise your arm to check his face, it’s hard to read him through the mask, but his eyes are warm. You really want to see him, properly see him.

“Are you gonna wear that all night?” You frown. Ghost chuckles, stepping back from the bed to start tugging at the straps on his vest. 

“Thought you had a thing for military guys,” He jokes and you shake your head.

“Just you.”

“Meant to take this off, but heard about some bird wandering the halls.”

“That’s crazy,” You deadpan, “I thought this base was supposed to be secure.”

Ghost hums, and you think you see his eyes crease at the edges. “Supposed to be.”

He turns away from you, carefully removing equipment as you stretch out on the bed. It’s sort of interesting watching the way he handles his gear. Every piece is touched, catalogued, the vest is set neatly down and the rest is piled on top of it. He seems to know every inch, every trigger. You assume he’ll take it where it’s supposed to be later, but part of you is tempted to ask what everything does. In a different life you might, but you’re not his girlfriend, and you’re certainly not about to enlist.

It all looks heavy. It settles heavy at least, the various pieces giving a solid ‘thunk’ as they’re set down. Ghost rolls his shoulders when he’s done, and you’re treated to a quiet ‘crack-pop’ as his joints settle. There’s your answer you suppose.

“You want a shower?” You ask. Ghost turns to eye you, his shoulders still sternly set. You don’t like how tense he is, but you’re frankly asking more for yourself than him. Hot water does the body good after strenuous activity, and you’d like to get all the lube off you sooner rather than later.

“You offering to join me?” Ghost hums, his eyes sweeping over you. You shrug, offer him a smile and hold your leg out to him.

“Long as you’re offering to help me undress.”

You think he’s smiling under the mask. It’s an ugly arts and crafts project if you’re honest, all thick stitches and hand drawn lines. You don’t even want to know what that skull is. It’s Ghost though, and as intimidating as you’re sure it is for recruits, you’re not scared at all when he steps towards you. 

Thick fingers pull your shoes off, tug at the toe of your socks, and slip up your bare legs to draw over your skirt. He feels around for the zipper, and drags it down. It’s only been a few hours, but God you missed his touch. Calloused hands, you saw him tug gloves off but they don’t seem to be helping much, catch at your soft skin. The feeling makes you shiver, makes you feel that much more delicate in comparison.

Ghost tugs your skirt off, his hands careful to keep the zipper teeth from catching against your skin. He folds it messily, sets it to the side, and repeats the process with your panties. There’s something tender about the action, despite how haphazard it is, that makes your heart clench. His big hand pets your thigh, a gentling motion before he’s spreading your legs. You drag your feet up, settle them on the mattress as you part your thighs for him. His inspection feels so much different than Gaz’s did. You know what Ghost is looking at. His fingers spread your folds, still sticky with slick. His brows twitch together, his thumb rubs a soft line up and down over your abused clit.

“He put a clamp on you?” Ghost asks, his voice feels edged, like he’s trying to project calm for you. You wonder if he’s just collecting information or if he’s jealous to some degree.

“Just pinched,” You shrug, trying to relax despite the heat his touch, his inspection, pumps through you.

“Wish I could’a seen ya.” Ghost breathes. His fingers tracing over your folds, dipping lower to prod at your puffy asshole, before thinking better of it. That’s what he’s jealous about? You hold back the laugh that bubbles up in your chest. The man just wanted to be there to see you get fucked to pieces. What a man.

Ghost pushes a finger into your pussy, and stops. He frowns. You do your best to keep your hips still, your cunt pulsing with need after having nothing but a bullet vibe to fill it. You don’t stop the soft whimper that leaves you. Fuck you don’t think one finger has ever felt so good. He pulls it out, pushes it back in like he’s testing something, and your stomach jumps. Heat burns between your legs, your pussy tingling and tender to his touch. 

“Garrick forgot the best part,” Ghost says, talking to himself you think, “need to get fucked properly don’t you sweet’eart?” You blink at the ceiling, your breath coming short as he strokes your fluttering walls. You do, you do, fuck you want it so bad. His finger draws out of you, the tip of it resting at your entrance and circling the hole. You squirm, desperate for stimulation. Ghost pushes two fingers into you and you gasp, feeling the tightness in your spine. The knowledge of what those fingers can do to you has you on edge as quickly as the curl of them do. 

His fingers scissor, stretching your hole as he eases them in and out of you. You whine, tipping your head back as your back arches. You push your hips down against the intrusion, and feel his fingers curl. He strokes over your soft spot, and you gasp in a breath. You’ve spent too much time on your back in Ghost’s room, too familiar with the way he bullies his cock into you, pistons his fingers into you, to be shy about the noises he pulls from you. 

That doesn’t mean your body is used to the treatment. You still feel the heat of his gaze prickle over your skin, still feel the ache and throb of tightening muscle when he jabs at your g-spot. He has this supernatural ability to know what you need before you can ask for it, tugging his mask up over his nose to pop his thumb in his mouth before rubbing it over your clit as his fingers curl and twist inside you. He keeps your hips held against the bed with a heavy hand, drawing tight circles over your clit as he fucks his fingers into you faster. 

You whine, try to twist away from the feeling, all of it too much after Gaz’s rough treatment, but he keeps you firmly in place. His fingers jerk, up and down, rapid, vibrating, movements that hit you just right every time until your back is arched painfully off the bed and you’re gasping for breath. You’re right on the edge when he stops, his movements dropping down to a soft in and out motion. Nowhere near enough for you. His thumb strokes over your clit, almost apologetically, and you feel the jolt of it through your hips like electricity. Here you thought you were supposed to be the tease.

“Didn’t answer my question,” Ghost says. Your eyes roll back at the teasing stroke of his fingers. They curl to hit your sweet spot with each withdrawal, and you find yourself on edge just waiting for the next thrum of pleasure. You don’t know what he’s talking about.

“Wha- ah!” You moan, attempting to speak through the jab of his fingers. If he gave you a moment you might be a bit more conversational. As it stands you can’t make a noise except for the gasps and moans that he strokes out of you. 

“You wan’ me ta fuck you proper,” Ghost reminds you.

“Yes,” You gasp, “yes, yes, yes.” Single syllables drip from your lips easily, each sound pushed from your chest with a rush of air. You grab for Ghost’s wrist and feel the firm unyielding muscle, the flex of tendons as he pulls back to fit a third finger into you. You feel the thick bunch of fingers press against your entrance before he pauses. There’s a moment of thought before two fingers push quickly into you.

“Fuck it,” Ghost grumbles, “wanna see you do it.” 

Your brain latches onto his words, your body already tensed with understanding. You tighten your hold on his wrist as he starts fucking his fingers into you in ernest. Each quick jab winds the coil in your stomach tighter. Your muscles pull tight as you feel throbs of heat pulsing between your legs. Pleasure locks up your spine, keeping you arched on each shaking jab of Ghost’s fingers. More up and down than in and out, but hard and fast and bordering on painful as your eyes gloss with desperate tears.

You’re sure you’re begging for release, making noises you can’t parse as Ghost watches you. His eyes are fixed squarely on your cunt, almost as purposeful in their focus as his fingers seem to be. Your body is pulled tight, your pelvis giving its best attempt to lift off the bed and follow his fingers. It doesn’t matter, he keeps you down, keeps you in place to take the full force of his fingering.

Something hot and wet dribbles between your legs. You feel it leave you like a gentle stream, pleasure siphoning out of your body in short releases as Ghost’s fingers work you. It hurts, your muscles never releasing, your body kept at what feels like the edge as you cry out for Ghost. Tears bead over your lashes, the squelch of his hand against your cunt almost deafening through your sobbed moans. He pulls out only to wipe his soaked hand over your slit, and all your muscles release with a shudder of breath.

You roll your head to look down at him. His arm is drenched up to the elbow, his tee spotted with wetness that’s only mirrored by the spots on his trousers. You squeeze your eyes shut and groan. This man… He’s already changed his sheets once this week.

Christ you feel good though. Your cunt hurts, but your mind is clear and you feel sated. Your breathing is uneven as you release your wet grip on his wrist.

“Want you to do that on my face,” Ghost breathes.

“You’re trying to kill me lieutenant,” You swallow. You’ve never stuck around a man long enough for him to figure out how to make you squirt like that. You’re starting to get the appeal.

“Maybe,” Ghost hums, and you huff out a shallow laugh. Despite the breathlessness of it you can feel your wide smile. Ghost strips his shirt over his head, and hesitates as his fingers trace the edge of the mask.

“You can leave it on, if you want.” You tell him. You’ve seen him pull it on before leaving every morning, heard Johnny joking about how he sees more of Ghost’s face with you around than he has in the years he’s known him. He was wearing a mask when you first met him too. “Always” he’d said when you asked him about being faceless. You assume the mask is his preference, but he shakes his head. 

His fingers tug the ugly thing over his head. The short crop of his blond hair doesn’t stop it from sticking in all directions as he tosses the balaclava to the side. There’s black paint smeared around his eyes, it makes them look all the brighter. The warm brown looks darker, but stands out all the sweeter. Ghost’s brows draw heavily down and he tips his head to look at you. You raise a brow, used to his sizing you up. 

“Edge of the bed,” He tells you after a moment.

It’s wet, but you scoot your ass to the edge of the bed, spreading your legs for good measure. Ghost’s thick fingers work his belt open quickly, ripping the zipper of his fatigues down to push them over his thick thighs. Fuck you love seeing him like this. The stretch of his skin over corded musculature, the blond hair covering his body, darkened from lack of sun exposure. The trail of hair down his stomach, the curl of it around his cock, the coarse wisps of it over his thighs and the backs of his arms, it makes you drool. It’s only after a week in his room that you feel like you’re truly starting to appreciate the man that Ghost is. 

His hard cock hangs heavy between his legs, the head of it flushed as he grabs the base and strokes it to the sight of you. You reach between your legs to spread your folds, giving him a good view as he steps closer. Ghost slaps his cock against your cunt and you hum, enjoying the sparks of pleasure it sends through you. 

He’s never gentle pushing into you. His fat cock bullies you open, his fist wrapped tight around it to help push into your tight hole. You whimper at the stretch, the burn of his skin against yours. You’re drenched but it never seems to be enough for him. His cock splits you open, wrenches the air from your lungs as he thrusts into you without a care for your comfort. One thrust and it’s in. Your fingers twist in the sheets, your back arching as your lashes flutter. Fuck, you never get used to it, and you hope you never do.

Ghost hooks his arms under your legs and drags them up towards your chest as he settles his hands on either side of you. The position just makes him hit that much deeper in you, your hips angled up and your legs pushed back. He pulls out, and fills you again. You whine, your pussy still sensitive and sore from his fingers. It doesn’t stop him. If anything it eggs Ghost on, makes him snap his hips against yours with more determination. His cock reaches deep inside you, knocks against a throbbing pleasure that shoots through your veins and coils tight in your stomach. 

He doesn’t need fancy tricks to make you moan. It’s just him. Ghost curls over you, his forehead pressed to yours as his hips slap against you. You try to keep your eyes locked on his, but you feel like you’re going cross-eyed, and every thrust of his fat cock hits you deep enough to have your eyes rolling back at the splitting ache of pleasure. You feel blanketed by him, your body covered by his, your spine rounded to tip your hips up and give him more space to drive down into you. Your fingers grip his biceps, curled around the hard muscle as his big hands move to cradle your head. Your body shakes with each hard thrust, but you’re held tight. Immobile. 

There’s a possessiveness in each of Ghost’s thrust. Moans are punched out of you, your stomach clenching around the ache of his cock battering deep in your soft cunt. The wet squelching sound of his strokes are almost as loud as the words that drip off of Ghost’s lips. 

“Fuck,” He groans, jostling your head, tipping it to put your eyes on the fat cock that dips into you, “Look’it you tryin’ ta push me out.” The sheen of your slick clings to his length, and you clench at the sight. He lets out a breathy chuckle, the huffs of laughter sticking to your skin like fingerprints. “You like that, huh?” He asks, pressing his hips tight against yours and grinding down into you. The movement of his cock inside you stirs a new wave of heat over your skin. Your cunt clamping down on him as your back tries to arch into the feeling. Your muscles scream at you, held too tight by Ghost’s hands to do what they so desperately want to. It aches, a pain low in your back that you know you’ll feel afterwards. Your hands scramble off his biceps to scratch at his shoulders. You’re breathless, bent and held so that each punch of his cock knocks the air from your lungs. It’s mean, jealous. You love it.

You scream for him. Your voice scratches against your vocal cords, your muscles ache, and your cunt can’t stop clenching tight around him. Ghost pulls his cock out of your cunt and shakes his head with a smile. Your breath pants out of you as you stare at the monster that should be tearing you apart. 

“Keep squeezin’ me and I’m gonna come,” Ghost grunts. As if you see anything wrong with that. Fuck it’s such an ego-boost to make men come before they want to. Ghost’s fingers tighten in your hair and he tugs your head back to look at him. He leans back, slaps your face before gripping it. His fingers pinch your cheeks. “Don’t look so proud of yourself,” He warns, but his grin is all you need to see.

He shifts your legs over his arms, holds them against his broad chest, your ankles by his ears. He fists his cock, presses it against your entrance before he wraps a thick arm around your thighs and releases your face to knead at your tits. The giant paw of his hand feels so rough against the sensitive skin. It’s all but forgotten when he thrusts into you. You can arch like this. Your back stiffens, your fingers claw at his arm, grab at his bicep, scrambling for purchase as he pounds into you. His pace is brutal. Long full thrusts into your pussy, his cockhead grinding deep inside you, before it’s dragging against your gummy walls to pull out. 

The burn of friction as he fucks in and out of you makes your cunt feel hot. Your skin burns with the rush of your blood, pumping pleasure through your veins. Your stomach feels tight, just at the edge of the aching. Ghost turns his head to kiss your leg, sweat smearing the black around his eyes. He rubs the streaks of it against your calf, his teeth teasing the skin as he holds your legs steady. You know his teeth almost as well as his cock. Your body may as well be littered with the marks they’ve left on you, bitten and bruised in all the best ways. 

Ghost settles a knee on the bed, and pushes your legs just a fraction of an inch closer to your chest. It’s a small change but it lets him hit something that drips into your muscles. Your legs squeeze together, your back curling into the feeling as pleasure pulses through you. His hand leaves your chest to wrap around your neck and force you back down against the bed. You’re already sensitive, already worked tight from squirting on his fingers, so when his thrusts turn shallow and batter his fat cockhead against your soft spot, you squeal. Your body squirms under his grip, your chest pushing up with the arch of your spine, your hips twisting. Ghost keeps you where he wants you. His biceps flex and the hand on your neck tightens warningly as you moan.

“Tha’s it sweet’eart,” Ghost rumbles, “feels good don’t it?”

“Yes,” you gasp, “feels- God, fuck.” Your head tips back, your legs shaking in his hold. He keeps fucking you in those devestating shallow thrusts, and your body can’t handle it. Heat rockets through you, courses over your skin and doubles back to flutter in your clenching cunt. Your muscles tighten and unspool as your nervous system decides if it wants to come. Christ you just need something more, something extra. Ghost’s hand tightens around your neck, applying a pressure that makes darkness fuzz at the edges of your vision. Your mind pitches sideways, dropping into some soft space, and all you can do is feel. But it’s all you need.

“Show me.” It’s an order, and as your lashes flutter to try and combat the dizzying lack of oxygen you do. You come on his fat cock, come as he pushes the full length of it into you. His fingers release your throat and you draw in a breath, his hands gripping behind your knees to help pull you into his thrusts. 

You’re too busy blinking stars from your vision to notice the tightness in Ghost’s jaw, but you feel his cock twitch, feel him pull out in a rush before hot come hits the back of your thighs. Ghost presses his cock between your soft thighs, rocking into the fleshy heat as his cock spurts its sticky load over you. Christ you need a shower.

It’s quiet in Ghost’s room, silence broken only by the heavy intake of breaths. Ghost’s thumbs stroke the delicate skin of your knees, his eyes fixed on the swell of your thighs, the space they push together. He pulls his hips away and eases your legs back down onto the bed. You wince, the release in position after having weight on it aches in your hips. It’s almost pleasant though, a reminder of the sex you’d just had. Ghost offers you a hand and pulls you up to sit on the bed.

“Shower?” You mumble, he nods. You’re still a little floaty feeling, your skin prickles with dissociative heat, and you’re unsure how steady you’ll be walking. It doesn’t matter in the end, Ghost scoops you up and takes a few long steps to his shitty en suite. Perks of fucking an officer you suppose.

He cranks the shower to “hells fucking bells that’s hot” and steadies you on your feet. The room fills with steam quickly, and you bat his hands away to attempt getting in the shower yourself. Ghost’s hands grab your hips, and stop you dead. You glance back to see him staring at your ass.

“Stay,” He orders, and you raise a brow as he turns and exits the small bathroom. Only to return with his phone. He snaps a quick pic of your ass and holds it up for you to see. There's a little bunny head drawn on your ass in thick black sharpie with the eyes x-ed out. GG is written under it.

“What’s the GG?” You ask, looking up from the phone. Ghost tips his head forward, the phone set on the sink as his voice drops and he crowds you into the shower.

“Good girl.”

[soapskneebrace]

This truly is the last thing I want to say on this blog and then I'm done, but given how the fucking catastrophe started it's only appropriate this is how I end it—

You have racist bias whether you like it or not. Particularly if you are US American, racism was baked into your worldview no matter what kind of household, liberal or conservative, you grew up in. Racism is quite often far more covert than it is overt. It is not just a voluntary behavior; it is more often the subconscious ways you organize and hierarchize other cultures and people.

In the case of Gaz—sure, you might actively believe that he deserves to be more included. You think he's a good character and people really should think about him more! But you personally headcanon him a certain way, and really it's not a headcanon you're actually all that into, so that's why you don't talk about him as much. It's not because he's black, it's because he doesn't fit the thing you like talking about the most. The fact that he's black is really just a coincidence, you're not excluding him because of that. In fact, you're sure other people like him for exactly the reason you're not all that into him, and you'll just leave it to them to pick up the slack. Or you'll get to him later! In fact, you have some ideas for him. You just haven't gotten around to them yet.

Take that and multiply it by thousands of white women in fandom—not just this fandom, not just Gaz's character, but every fandom and every character of color. It doesn't matter that there's no active malice behind not personally liking black characters and other characters of color. Non-white characters still take a backseat to their white counterparts, because white women in fandom cannot wrap their heads around black, brown, indigenous, and Asian characters as complex, complicated characters worthy of their interest or frankly, their desire.

They cannot wrap their heads around this because they were conditioned not to by decades of racist culture.

Case in point; plenty of white women in this fandom have fallen head over heels for Makarov and Graves. The sins of these out-and-out villains are totally forgiven by virtue of their sex appeal, and because they are portrayed by attractive, charismatic men who put a lot of passion behind their performances.

But can we say the same for Hadir? Can we say the same for Hassan?

The sins of these two Middle Eastern characters do not outweigh those of their villainous white counterparts, yet how many angsty fix-it fics have been written exploring Hadir's complicated relationship with violence and imperialism? How many enemies-to-lovers or even lovers-to-enemies fics have been written about Hassan, the face of whose homeland has been irrevocably marred by US interference?

No one who points out the racism of this trend is accusing these white women of active, militant white supremacy. I'm not saying any of you even have to like Gaz, Hadir, or Hassan. But your preferences have been tuned for you by a culture shaped by slavery, imperialism, and white supremacy. That is not something you can escape merely because you support the BLM movement or reblog vetted Palestinian gofundmes.

The only way you can truly fight your own racism is to be actively anti-racist. It is about far more than who you give money to or what graphics you pin on your instagram. It is an everyday practice of learning how racism has shaped your worldview for you.

This is not work that is done in a week, a month, or a year. Becoming anti-racist takes as much time as it took to make you racist in the first place. For some of you, the work may turn out to be easy. For others, it may be hard. You must do it either way.

Some good places to start:

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

Ain't I a Woman? by bell hooks

We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity by bell hooks

A Burst of Light by Audre Lorde

The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings

Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi

Being Palestinian edited by Yasir Suleiman

[eomayas]

we can’t be friends (wait for your love) • jww [req]

pairing: non-idol!wonwoo x f!reader, fwb2l au

genre: smut 18+ MINORS DNI!!!!, fluff, angst

request: you start to have feelings for you FWB. unbeknownst to you, he feels the same way.

warnings: p in v, oral (f receinving), unprotected s*x, hand holding during intercourse, miscommunication, wonwoo is a munch

a/n: thank you for the request! i hope you like it :) it’s a bit long

lying in wonwoo’s arms with your cheek pressed against his bare chest, you think to yourself: i could get used to this. but the thought is quickly stripped from your mind, vanishing within a second once you remember that this isn’t something to get used to. it’s strictly no strings attached, and lying on his chest every night comes with strings that he is adamant about not having. “i don’t want to be tied down,” his voice echos in your head, practically taunting you ever time you think about him as more; more than just this guy that you sleep with a few times a week, more than just a booty call. simply more. you lightly shake your head as if you’re trying to get rid of any thoughts of him. “hmm?” he mumbles from above you, hand tightening around your arm ever so slightly.

“nothing,” your voice is nearly a whisper, hoarse from previously crying out his name, and not having talked for awhile. wonwoo hums and sweeps his hand from your arm to your bare hip. it’s not long before his fingers are rubbing your skin and you’re fighting to keep your interest in the tv show he put on. he’s aware that you’re trying to ignore him, but because he can feel your warm, bare heat against his upper thigh he doesn’t wait for you to finally give in.

“hey,” he says, drawing your attention. you flick your eyes up at him, and he almost smiles at how cute you look with your cheek smooshed against him and your eyes wide and innocent. you see the corner of his lip twitch, but it’s so quick that you worry you nearly imagined it. with a tilt of his head, he’s beckoning you up towards him.

you straddle his lap, settling against his stomach. you arch down to him, pressing your lips against him and holding yourself up by pressing your hands flat against his firm chest. wonwoo grips onto your ass, his fingers digging into the flesh and softly massaging and kneading your ass.

it’s hard to not want more from wonwoo when he touches and kisses you like this, like you’re the only thing he wants in this world, at this moment, in this lifetime. you consider that maybe it’s the bare minimum, that he should feel like this anyway because he’s about to fuck you, but you don’t really have much time to think deeper because he’s biting your bottom lip before running his tongue over it. “lemme eat you out,” he rasps, grip on your ass tightening.

wordlessly, you topple off of him onto the bed and he’s rolling on top of you, hands planted on the bed beside either side of your head. he kisses you again before trailing his lips down to your jaw, sucking on the underside until you breathe out a little sigh. he continues down, lips kissing down your neck and skating over your collar bones. he usually sucks marks into your skin, but he’s eager to get his mouth on you.

he kisses the tops of your breasts and bypasses your nipples to kiss down the valley of your breasts until he gets to your stomach. your hands rest on his upper back, nails already lightly pressing into his skin in anticipation. wonwoo flicks his eyes up to yours when he gets to the top of your pelvis, the look he gives you enough to make you tense up and part your legs wider. wonwoo smirks and presses a long kiss to your inner thigh, this time sucking a hickey into the skin. above him, you relax against the pillows and smooth your hand over this hair, your touch featherlight.

wonwoo pretends that he doesn’t feel something inside of him twitch at your soft gesture. he attempts to calm himself down by remembering that everything is heightened right now because you’re about to have sex—though that makes him freeze because what you two are supposed to be doing is just sex. nothing more, nothing less that that. he shouldn’t be feeling things because you’re touching his hair when he’s between your legs. “wonwoo,” you call out, palm applying light pressure on the crown of his head as you try to urge him lower onto your core.

ah—you only wanted him to get on with it. at least that’s what he tells himself; it does enough to calm him down, and he sinks lower, kneeling at the foot of the bed and pulling you towards the end of the mattress, until your glistening core is in front of his face. usually he makes you beg for his mouth, but this is for him as much as it’s for you, so he wastes no more time and sticks out his tongue to lick an experimental stripe from your hole to your clit.

you thread your your fingers through his hair with your left hand, a loose grip on the strands. wonwoo licks up your folds again, his tongue flat and relaxed against you. he flicks his tongue against your clit and you gasp, core tightening around nothing but aching for him. another gasp from you, and he finally buries his face into your cunt, arms hooking around your thighs to hold them open around his head.

your back arches off the bed when he suctions his lips around your clit, seemingly trying to suck the soul out of you. “w-wonwoo,” you breathe out, pressing down onto his head and gripping onto the sheets with your free hand. your chin drops against your chest and you try to keep your eyes open to watch him, but between him sucking on your clit and prodding at your hole with his tongue, it’s proving to be difficult.

wonwoo pulls you impossibly closer, nose bumping against your sensitive mound as he licks you from the inside out, bobbing his head as he does. you moan and whimper above him each time his nose rubs against your clit, your hips bucking up into his face. wonwoo releases his hold from around your legs to press against the insides of your thighs. “stop moving,” he mumbles from in between your legs, grunting when you close your legs around his head due to the vibrations from his voice against your core.

“sorry,” you squeak, shakily opening your legs wider for him. wonwoo retracts one of his hands to slip two fingers inside of you, curling and drawing out moans from you that only spur him on. “w-wonwoo, please!” you whine, throwing your head back and jerking your hips upwards. you’re not sure what you’re begging for; maybe to make you cum soon, for mercy, for more.

he growls something between your legs and shoulders his way in between your thighs, keeping you spread open. your chest rises and falls rapidly with every flick of his tongue and thrust of his fingers inside of you. a tight knot forms in the pit of your stomach, the pressure building and building the longer he works you out on his tongue. “fuck, wonwoo,” you whimper out, grip on his hair tightening.

the satisfying sting on his scalp spurs him on, mouth ravishing you like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to eat you out. you cry out curses, thighs shaking against his shoulders.

euphoria reaches you almost without warning, your cunt spasming around his fingers as you release gushes out of you. wonwoo laps at you, his tongue eagerly licking up your juices. he pulls his fingers out of you, and you feel so empty but don’t have much time to worry about that while wonwoo continues to eat you out through your orgasm. it’s as enjoyable for him as it is for you—he could eat you out all day if given the opportunity.

“w-won,” you pant, vision spotty as your legs tremble. his eyes drag up to yours, pure hunger swimming in his orbs. one look at you, and he (reluctantly) pulls his mouth off of your core, lips glistening from your arousal. wonwoo kisses the inside of your thigh, his hand stroking your knee, before he sits back and licks his lips. “t-thanks.” you rasp, draping an arm over your eyes.

“give me minute,” you croak, sweat beading along your forehead and sliding down your temple. wonwoo doesn’t mind; hes patient and not in a rush. he gets off of the floor and stretches, rolling his neck and sighing when his joints crack and pop. he stretches his arms above his head, the tension in his shoulder blades releasing with a dull pop.

while you recover, he walks over to the drawer where he keeps his condoms and grabs the box. it feels light, and he shakes it to double check. when nothing rattles, he feels his heart sink and peers into the box in disbelief. “i’m out of condoms,” he says incredulously, running a hand through his hair.

“oh,” is all you say, your tone lacking disappointment. wonwoo gnaws at his bottom lip for a moment, staring down at the empty box of trojans.

“i’ll pull out?” he asks, ear turning red in mild embarrassment. he is expecting a ‘no’, for this night to be over quicker than he really wants—you’re never here longer than you want to be—and he won’t really be upset if you say ‘no’, because it’s risky, and you two aren’t really there in your relationship. there’s only been one night where you two didn’t use protection; it was after a night spent drinking together. the next morning he brought you a plan b, and the two of you didn’t speak for a few days.

wonwoo tries his hardest to keep everything between the two of you casual, just like how you said you wanted it to be between the two of you. sometimes those lines get blurred, and he doesn’t always know how to gauge your feelings without asking (which he rarely does), thus leading him to asking you risky questions like his previous one.

“okay.”

wonwoo whips his head around to look at you upon hearing your response. you’re still lying flat on your back with an arm thrown across your face. “what?”

“i said ‘okay’” your voice is calm, almost too calm that it makes him wonder if you’re aware of what you’re agreeing to. but wonwoo rushes over to you anyway, crawling on top of you and pulling your arm away from your face.

“are you sure?”

“hurry before i change my mind,” you mumble, parting your legs once again and inviting him to get closer. wonwoo scrambles to grab his glasses off of his bedside table and slides them on before repositioning himself in between your legs.

his cock is achingly hard—has been since he started eating you out—and waiting to be enveloped by you. wonwoo isn’t sure he’ll last that long without a condom, but you look worn out enough that he thinks you probably won’t mind.

grabbing the base of his dick, wonwoo lines himself up with your entrance and slowly pushes his way in. you let out a sharp gasp, propping yourself up on your shoulders to watch him push inside of you. “fuck, y/n,” he grunts, willing himself to keep his composure. “you feel that?”

“yea,” your voice cracks when you say it, body flushing with heat. you can feel every ridge, every vein, and every curve much more fully than you ever have. you are already worked up from wonwoo alone, but you feel as though it won’t take much to get you off again, not when you are experiencing this new sensation so wholly.

wonwoo grunts his way inside of you, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. he pushes in until he can’t go any further, and holds himself inside of you for a second. your cunt pulses around him like it’s trying to pull him in further. “god, you feel good,” he groans, his head dropping down to his chest. his gaze falls on where he’s buried inside of you, where he fits in you like you were designed for him. “fuck.” he whispers.

you suck in a breath when he pulls out, and whimper when he pushes back inside. he finds a rhythm and you get lost watching him disappear inside of you, and then reappear. he doesn’t go fast, nor does he fuck you nice and slow. it’s in the middle, taking you right to the edge and giving you some time to recover. “unh- wonwoo,” you moan, falling flat on your back.

“yeah?”

you lick your lips, feeling a little embarrassed when you say, “i want a kiss.” it feels too intimate for your relationship, but so does him fucking you raw. you were never one to think too deeply about soul ties when it came to sex, but now you’re not so sure it was all junk.

wonwoo is quick to capture your lips in a kiss, one hand on you hip and the other planted near your head on the bed. you grip onto his sides as you kiss him back, mouth falling open to whine out his name. with every thrust inside of you, coupled with his chest pressed against your own and his mouth on yours, you feel closer and closer to the edge. he can tell with the your cunt squeezes him in tightly, and how your lips are pressed against his own that you’re close.

“yeah? you’re close?” he asks, kissing the corner of your lip and dragging his mouth down to your jaw, sucking a mark into the skin at your neck.

“s-so close,” you gasp out, whining when he pulls his mouth off of your neck and plants both of his hands on the bed. the need to be close to him washes over you, burns in your chest and your stomach and spreads down to your toes.his next thrust into you knocks the breath from your lungs. he grunts each time he moves inside of you, curses falling from both of your lips.

there’s nothing simple or casual, or friendly about what the two of you are doing. it’s all too intimate and is definitely going to complicate things later. he’s not somebody who wants to be attached to another person, not right now at least, but it feels like maybe he does. he looks down at you with an expression that makes you feel too much all at once, things that you’re not supposed to feel for a guy you’re just sleeping with.

you’re overcome with with feeling needy, nearly whining in frustration at the thought. you grab onto his wrist, trying to pull his hand from the bed and into your palm. “w-what?” he groans, looking down at you before sliding his gaze to where you have a hold on him. the corner of his lip quirks when you make grabby hands at him. “oh.” he says simply, interlocking your fingers together.

your orgasm hits your without warning, washing over you much more intensely than your last one. you’re chanting his name as your cunt spasms and your legs shake. “ah!” you moan, back arching off the bed and your chest pressing up into his.

liquid runs down your thighs and drips down onto the sheets below. wonwoo pants, his cock twitching inside of you. reluctantly, he pulls out with some difficulty because of how tight your cunt is around him, and shoots his cum onto your stomach, painting you white.

“fuck, sorry,” wonwoo rasps, placing a quick kiss on your lips. he’s never liked how it felt cumming on you, rather than inside of a condom or in your mouth. it felt rude, and a little demeaning, and it was never going to be his first option when it came to dumping his load. “i’ll grab a towel.”

you hardly register his cum on you until he’s wiping the inside of your thighs and then your stomach. your eyelids are heavy and can hardly stay open, fluttering shut every second before reopening when he touches you. “thanks,” you murmur, voice laden with sleep. wonwoo chuckles and says ‘you’re welcome’, but you’re too far gone to hear him.

when you wake up, it’s a couple hours later and you’re by yourself in his bed still bare. the tv is off, as well as the lights, so it’s pitch black save for the sunset shining through his window. you sit up and wince, a type of soreness between your thighs.

you slip out of his bed and find your discarded clothes and pull them on. standing in the middle of the room, you place your hands on your hips and sigh. a thousand emotions and questions are swimming through your head—confusion and what does this all mean? leading the pack. the empty, discarded box of condoms sits on his dresser like a trophy for what you two just did. you rub your forehead and gnaw on your bottom lip.

with a sigh, you grab the rest of your belongings and shove them into the tote bag you brought over and make your way out of his bedroom and down the hall. noise comes from the kitchen where wonwoo rifles through his nearly empty cupboards. “hey,” you say, making him jump and whip around.

“holy shit, hey,” he says, a hand over his heart. “you scared the shit out of me.”

“sorry,” you say, one of your hands holding onto your wrist.

“how’d you sleep?” he asks, shutting the cupboard and leaning against the counter, his arms crossing over his broad chest. his hair is still rumpled from earlier, though it looks like he just woke up from a nap as well.

“fine, i guess,” you say. he nods awkwardly and you dodge his eye contact.

“that’s good; i just woke up from a nap too,” he says. you look over at him with furrowed eyebrows, because he wasn’t in the bed with you. “i fell asleep on the couch.” wonwoo adds, like he just read your mind.

you nod and purse your lips. “you could’ve slept in your bed,” you say, shifting your weight from foot to foot.

“didn’t want to bother you.”

“it’s your bed.”

“you’re my guest,” he says, seemingly ending the debate. guest. that’s all you are to him—a guest. a guest in his bed, his house, his life—a guest. not permanent, just passing through for a moment.

it’s quiet for a moment. you don’t know what to say to him. “alright, well i’ll get out of you way,” you say, running a hand over your head before some hair behind your ear.

“you’re not in my way,” wonwoo says, pushing himself off the counter when you make a move to leave. “you don’t have to leave.”

“i should,” you reply, walking quickly to the door to put on your shoes. wonwoo is right behind you, right on your trail. you shove your feet into your sneakers and ignore wonwoos presence behind you.

stealing a quick glance over your shoulder, you’re met with a hard expression from wonwoo. his eyes are squinted behind his lenses and his jaw is tight, like he’s trying to figure you out. it sends a chill down your back and you turn away from him and slip out of the front door wordlessly, without a chance to hear him say goodbye.

three days go by before you see wonwoo again. he texts you first, sending you a come over text at 9:30 on a thursday. you almost ignored it, unsure of yourself, but your feelings for him got the best of you and you immediately texted back an omw and got in your car.

currently, his hands are skating underneath your shirt and up your sides to rest underneath your breasts. you grind on his lap, hands threading in his hair. your lack of communication with him was to see if you could get over how you felt about him, to see if you could withstand him and his charm. but clearly, you can’t.

you pull back from his mouth to let him pull off your top. you’re leaning back into him when he stops you by putting his hand on your abdomen. “can we talk?” he asks, voice a little breathless.

“about?” you connect your lips to his neck, sucking a purposeful hickey into his skin when his hands skate up your back and stop short of the clasp for your bra.

“about us.”

major bomb drop. you freeze against him, your hands stilling in his hair and your lips losing their suction around his neck. your heart hammers in your chest, and you wonder if he can feel it with how close your two are pressed against each other.

never would you ever think that he’d be the one to bring up the topic of you two. you didn’t even expect him to reach out to you first—you’re surprised that you didn’t crack after the first day—and you definitely didn’t expect him to see a problem with your relationship. pulling back, you place your hands on his shoulders and peer down at him. “what is there to talk about?”

wonwoo literally bites his tongue, the words ‘i miss you’ sitting on the tip. “did i take it too far the other day?” he questions, referring to asking to fuck you without a condom. you roll your eyes and get off of his lap, grabbing your shirt off of the floor.

“no,” you say, yanking it over your head. “i fully agreed to it, wonwoo. if i didn’t want to do it, i would have said no.” you say, blowing some hair out of your face. you don’t know why you feel so frustrated all of a sudden.

“then what is it?” he asks, feeling like he’s grasping for straws trying not to expose how he feels about you.

“what is what?”

wonwoo runs a hand through his hair. he feels you staring, waiting for him to expose whatever he feels like he can’t say to you. “can i be honest with you?”

“please.”

he sucks in a breath before he starts. “im starting to really like you. well, ive liked you for awhile, actually. and i know you probably don’t wan to hear this, because i know you just want to keep it casual, and- wait,” you interrupt him, your nerves feeling like they’re working in overdrive. “what?”

you drag a hand down your face. “i thought you wanted to keep it casual,” you say, hand curling over your mouth when he slowly shakes his head.

“no, that was you,” he says, but his tone is unsure now that you’ve counteracted him. “right?”

“only because you said it first,” you say, and the gears start to turn into place for the both of you. your little arrangement wasn’t mutually understood—more like it was mutually misunderstood—and the other was just going along with what was said, just for the sake of the other person. “wonwoo, you said you didn’t want any strings.”

he cringes when you say it out loud. “true, but that was before,” wonwoo clarifies. you furrow your eyebrows.

“before when?”

his cheeks turn a cute shade of pink and he adjusts his glasses. “before we hung out for the second time,” it’s embarrassing admitting it out loud, but it’s the truth. when the two of you started sleeping together, he meant it when he said that he didn’t want to be tied down. but after you two hung out again, and the ‘friends’ part of friends-with-benefits showed itself, he knew he was a goner. you made him laugh so easily, and made him feel like he could be himself around you. it wasn’t long until he started missing your presence and was mourning your absences.

you stare at him in complete shock. “are you serious?” he nods, and you let out slight chuckle, lightly shaking your head. “there’s no way.” you mutter to yourself. wonwoo tenses, waiting for the blow of you telling him that you don’t feel the same.

“if you don’t feel the same, it’s fine,” wonwoo says quickly, wiping around his mouth to give his hands something to do. you shake your head just as fast, eyes wide.

“no! i mean, i do, wonwoo. i like you too—a lot—i just…” you trail off and run a hand through your hair unsteadily.

“you just what?”

you shrug. “i don’t know, actually,” you giggle. wonwoo smiles, but it doesn’t meet his eyes. you notice and take a seat next to him on the couch, angling your body towards him. “wonwoo, you’re great. the sex is great, everything is great. but i do want more with you. i like you so much, it was starting to hurt,” you say, not caring about how pathetic he might think you sound. you get the feeling that he doesn’t care how you sound, because he tugs you into his lap again, his arms securing around your waist.

“i want more with you too. and im pretty sure i like you way more than you like me,” he says, a smile on his face.

“mhm. whatever,” you say, running a hand over his hair just like you did the other day. wonwoos eyes flutter shut and you drag your hand down to rest on his cheek. “hey.” you murmur.

“what?”

“thank you.”

“for what?”

you shrug and lightly stroke his cheek. “just, thank you.”

[woso-soso]

Missing Puzzle Piece

Mapi Leon x Reader x Ingrid Engen

Summary: Mapi and you have been together for years, what will happen when a new person makes an appearance in your lives.

Word Count: 3,639

I would love to talk to you all so please shoot a message my way letting me know what you think! This story is pretty much a prequel setting up for a small series following this trio, if you have any ideas for this series please share, all the angst and fluff are welcome!

Any time words are Italicized it indicates another language being spoken, in the case of this story it will indicate Spanish is spoken.

You’d known María for years, having met when you were barely big enough to ride the fair rides that came into town every year. Meeting at a volleyball camp held at your town's community center, and while María thrived at it you found yourself cowering in the back. Shrinking further into yourself as you struggled to integrate into the game, finding yourself more so on the end of flying balls. Balls you weren't prepared to hit back, leading to more than one frustrated groan from the team you had been forced onto. By the time lunch had come around you were left to sit alone at one of the tables set up, that was until a wild haired girl came bounding over. A smile wide across her face as she sets her lunch down at the seat across from you. You hadn’t caught her name at introductions, having been more focused on not puking on your shoes then learning anyone's names.

“I’m María,” she said, her mouth full of food. “But everyone except my mama calls me Mapi.” 

You stare at the strange girl in front of you, her arms covered in doodles. Many of them being extremely detailed, maybe the two of you would have something to talk about after all. “I’m Y/N,” you whisper hoping the much louder girl will be able to hear you. 

“So why are you here Y/N, I mean not to be rude but like you seem to hate it,” Mapi remarks not looking up from the food in front of her as she continues to shovel it into her mouth at a speed that was honestly impressive. 

“My papa, he got the dates mixed up when registering. I was supposed to be at the art camp next week but now I’m stuck here instead.” You answer somberly. Your papa was doing his best, becoming a single parent suddenly hadn’t been the plan and the two of you took it in stride together. Even when he did mess up, at least he was trying. 

“So you like art,” Mapi’s interest piques as she finally slows down to look up at you. You nod softly as you pick at the simple sandwich in front of you. Something you had thrown together that morning because your papa had forgotten to pack lunch the night before. “What do you like to do?”

“Well, I like drawing. My papa just got me a ton of new pencils to try. But I also really like taking pictures. I have this film camera at home, papa says when it's full we can send it off to get them developed. Apparently it's a long process.” The camera had been something your therapist had suggested, she thought it would benefit your dad to see what piques your interest. Helping get inside your mind since getting you to talk was a challenge. “Do you like drawing,” you inquire hesitantly, looking again at the intricate doodles that covered Mapi’s arms. 

“I love drawing, my mama says I get ink everywhere but I like drawing on my arms. At least then I get to see them all the time.” Mapi’s answer intrigues you. You could see the cap of a ballpoint pen stick out the top of her shirt having been clipped inside to attempt to conceal it. 

“I like that,” you state, a soft smile crossing your face as you look Mapi in the eyes. Her own large smile somehow getting larger. 

“Come here,” Mapi says suddenly, “would you like some drawings of your own.” You nod cautiously, moving around the table to sit next to the taller girl. Wiping her hands on her shorts before grabbing the ballpoint pen. “Here, stretch out your arm,” her hand gently takes your forearm, extending it across the table so it lays flat palm up. The pen tickles, but quickly you grow used to it. Mapi works slowly, making small marks across your arm as you relax into the feeling. 

The rest of the day is less anxiety-inducing as you switch over to the same team as Mapi, her presence not only calming but protective as you were able to hide behind her. Avoiding any more unwanted contact with volleyballs. When your papa comes to get you you can see him eyeing the ink marks across your skin, a relieved smile crossing his face as he watches you wave to Mapi her matching ink marks clear on her skin. 

“So did you make a friend today?” He questions cautiously. 

“I think I did papa,” a bright smile appearing on your face for the first time in a long time. 

“You got in!,” Mapi shouts gleefully, her arms wrapping around your body. The letter grasped tightly in your hand as happy tears trail down your cheeks. 

After meeting Mapi the two of you quickly became tightly bonded. Spending many evenings camped out in each other's bedrooms exploring different art mediums, a football game usually playing in the background as you talked softly. Mapi had always encouraged your photography, she insisted that while you were one for few words your photos always told a story. It was because of her that you got up the courage to apply to art school, the same art school Mapi had gotten into and while she chose to focus on football and not attend you knew it was still the best place for you. 

“I did it, I can’t believe I did it,” you mumble into her shoulder. Your tears leaving a damp spot on her shoulder. 

“I knew you could do it, your mama would be so proud,” Mapi whispers softly, her hand stroking your hair. A new wave of tears starting at the thought of your mama. She had been gone for so long yet it felt like just yesterday she had been showing you her own camera, a camera locked up safely in the attic. 

You pull away from Mapi’s warm embrace slowly, your arms staying connected around her neck. Your stomach twisting as you stare into her eyes, you knew you had feelings for her. It would almost be weirder if you didn’t, the two of you had been inseparable since you were small. You had been there for her through hundreds of football games where she dominated over the boys and she had been there for you while you displayed your photographs at various school events. She knew you front and back, like a book she had read a million times and you knew her the same. Before you can even think about what you're doing you lean in, Mapi making no move to pull away as your lips connect. 

Mapis lips are slightly chapped, yet taste like strawberry as if she had just applied chapstick. Her arms tighten around you, pulling you in closer as the kiss becomes more frantic. The pent up attraction between the two of you coming out full force. The sound of your front door closing being the only thing to snap the two of you apart. Your face most certainly flushed bright red as you stare at the carpeted floor under your feet. 

“I’m sorry,” you breathe, quickly wiping your face clean of any chapstick. The strawberry scent lingering. 

“Why?” Mapi asks quietly, leaning back on your bed. Watching you as your brain races a mile a minute. 

“I shouldn’t have just jumped you like that, I just… I assumed things and I’m sure they aren’t correct,” your voice cracks as you try to keep from crying. Embarrassment is clear on your face with your blazing red cheeks. 

“How do you know,” Mapi asks. 

“How do I know? Because come on Mapi look at you and look at me, it's silly to think we could be anything more than friends.” You mumble.

“Well firstly, best friends. Secondly, what do you mean look at you? You are the most amazing person I know, I’m honored you like me that way. I’ve liked you for a long time now, I just never had the courage to say anything.” The two of you sit in silence for a moment, Mapi’s words hanging in the air. 

“Really?” You whisper, turning to look at her. 

“Really,” Mapi says, her hand taking yours. 

The two of you are practically inseparable after that, wherever Mapi goes you are sure to follow. For years you worked at small photography studios, focusing on simple family portraits, weddings, and other parties. But by chance there was a day you got asked at the last minute to photograph Atlético Madrid's game against Real Sociedad. Atlético’s regular photographer had fallen ill and of course Mapi took this as a chance to throw your name out there. Sure some of her teammates were aware of your relationship but that didn’t seem to be a hindrance as you trekked out to the sidelines of the pitch, camera and monopod in hand. The game goes well, except for the occasional stray ball you stay safely tucked away capturing the high emotions of the game. 

“Did you get my good side,” Mapi jokes as she approaches, her cheeks flushed from having just finished a full ninety minute game. 

“Now when did you develop a bad side?” Your eyebrows raise in question as you continue to pack up your gear, preparing for a long night at home editing.

“Just checking, just checking” Mapi smirks, hands raised in surrender as she turns to take off back towards her teammates. 

While that night is long. You curled up on the couch as Mapi’s head rests in your lap, her soft snores reminding you how late it was, your hand gently combing through her hair as you edit the lot of photos you had taken. Only finishing as the sun begins to rise, a nagging headache forming behind your eyes as you close your laptop. 

“Come on love, let's go sleep properly,” you grunt as you nudge Mapi off your lap. 

“What time is it?” Mapi groans as you drag her to her feet. Her eyes barely opening enough to see her surroundings. 

“It's either very late or very early, let's not think about it.” You say as you push her into bed, joining her on the other side. Burying yourself under the covers, hoping for at least some restful sleep. 

What you hadn’t expected to come from the game was a permanent job offer from Atlético. They insisted they needed a photography assistant and that if you wanted it you were more than welcome to have it. It wasn’t something you even need to consider, quickly accepting the offer on the table. In the three years you were with Atlético you learned as much as you could, following the lead photographer like a shadow. Getting to know the coaches and players, learning where to draw boundaries with Mapi, you may be together but you weren’t about to risk either of your jobs because of it. 

That's what made it so hard to leave, when Barcalona came knocking at Mapi’s door it would have been stupid to say no. But the dread of having to start over in a new city made you nervous. You were already away from home most of the time, only seeing your papa a few times a year. You had finally established a career in Madrid, but at the same time you knew you couldn’t be away from Mapi. The two of you moved in tandem for a reason, you were two pieces to the same puzzle. You would rather put your career on hold to be there for her then be in Madrid, alone. 

Things fall into place easily in Barcelona, a job as an editing assistant for the men's team opens up only a few weeks after you move in with Mapi. Sure it wasn’t where your passion lied but it was something. 

“How are you settling in my love,” Mapi asks one morning as the two of you laid together in bed, the sun leaking in through the slightly open curtains. Her hand tracing shapes along your spine. 

“It’s okay, I wish I was with the women's team but it's okay, it's a start.” You knew deep down your only actual chance to work with the women's team would be if someone leaves, and who would leave working for the most successful team in the league. 

“It will happen one day, they will see just how talented you are and they won't be able to deny you the  job you want.” You appreciated Mapi’s optimism, she had always been your biggest cheerleader. Reassuring you throughout the years as the two of you grew and changed with one another. 

“Thank you my love, we can hope, but let's not get them too high.” You whisper softly, tracing the tattoos that cover Mapis arms only stopping once your alarm interrupts your morning peace. 

The two of you go your separate ways when you hit the gate at work, her slipping off to practice as you make your way down the never ending hallways. Passing offices of people important enough to have actual doors, eventually settling into your small cubical towards the back of the room. A place you can tuck yourself into and hide from the rest of the office. 

This continues for years, Mapi and you continent in your relationship never really sharing it with others outside of your family and friends. Your social media staying very much private, especially as you start to get more attention from fans of the team for the photographs you take, having been promoted to the men's team head photographer. You were happy, sure you had hopes and dreams you were still working towards but you found yourself fond of the simple everyday routine that you and Mapi had formed. 

That was until you literally ran into a goddess. 

The tall dark haired beauty had exited the main conference room right as you were passing, not a chance for either of you to stop as you collided. The box of hard drives crashing to the ground as she grabs your arm to stabilize you. 

“I’m so sorry,” the brunette says quickly, a thick accent making it challenging for you to understand. Your limited understanding of English not aiding in the matter. 

“It.. is.. okay,” you stammer out, hoping you said something okay. The soft smile on the woman's face giving you some reassurance that you had. 

“I’m Ingrid, I just signed on with the women's team.” The woman you now know as Ingirid declares, her hand extended towards you. Your mind going blank as you gently take her hand. 

“I am Y/N,” you say with less confidence than her. 

“Well, it's very nice to meet you Y/N.” Ingrid declares, dropping your hand to bend down and retrieve the box you had dropped. Thankfully none of the hard drives had fallen out. 

And with that she was gone, your mind racing at warped speed. The tingle on your skin from where she had been holding your arm reminding you of the feelings that had coursed through you. A sudden wave of nausea washing over you as Mapi popped into your mind, your fun, sweet, goofy Mapi. How you could even think of another woman, one you don’t even know, one who will have to work with your LONGTIME partner. This sudden feeling of guilt settling into your stomach. 

You avoid the topic with Mapi for the next few days, a weird silence falling over your shared apartment any time work is brought into the conversation. You know she can tell something is wrong, you can feel her watching you as you try to keep yourself distracted in the apartment. Being barely able to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time this sudden influx of anxiety being clear as day to anyone who knows you. 

It isn’t until one late night when you get home from traveling with the mens team that you and Mapi finally talk. She had stayed up late, catching you as you snuck in the front door.

“Please, my love, come talk to me. Somethings wrong, I can tell.” Mapi’s words make your heart ache, looking into her eyes you see someone who so desperately wants you to open up. Something that you had never seen before, up until now you and Mapi had never had issues communicating. Communication was actually one of the things the two of you pride yourselves on, something many of your friends were actually stunned by when they first learned how open the two of you are. 

You take your time to drop your bags, sliding your shoes off as you close the door behind you. The pit of anxiety growing more into a black hole. Sitting down next to Mapi on the sofa, not daring to look at her. The two of you sitting in silence for what felt like hours, Mapi’s hand gently grasping yours. 

“What is going on in your mind my love,” Mapi whispers softly as she tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. 

“I… I um, I met one of your new teammates last week.” You swallow, tears pricking at your eyes as guilt eats away at you. “She bumped into me in the main offices,” you whisper looking over at Mapi as she watches you intensely. 

“Did she do something to you?” Mapi asks, a hint of urgency in her tone. 

“Nothing bad I promise, she probably doesn’t even remember meeting me. But… when she held my arm to keep me from falling I got this feeling.” You turn away from Mapi again, not wanting to see the look on her face. “And I hate this feeling, it's a feeling I’m only supposed to have with you, yet my skin burned where she held it. I feel like I’m betraying you even though I haven’t done anything.” 

You don’t dare look at Mapi, her hand hasn't left yours and she never shifts further away from you. But this feeling of guilt settles in your stomach, the fear that she will be angry at you for your unwanted thoughts lingers in the back of your mind. 

“Who was it?” Mapi asks after a few long moments. 

“What?” The shock is evident in your voice as you snap your head to look at her. Having expected anger, not curiosity. 

“What is her name? Who is it?” She asks again, meeting your eyes, a soft squeeze of your hand reassuring you. 

“She said her name is Ingrid. I think she just signed on with the team.” Sharing the only information you had. 

Mapi takes a moment to process what you had said, gently wiping the tears from your cheeks as she takes you in. “It’s okay,” she reassures after a moment. “I am guilty of the same,” Mapis' words shocking you. 

“What?” You hiccup. 

“I have had the same feelings you have had for her, I’ve been struggling with them to my love. She is… enticing to put it simply. I don’t blame you for feeling this way about her.” Mapi’s words both alarm you and reassure you. You had felt some security in knowing that while you held these feelings there was no way you were going to interact with Ingrid again. But knowing that Mapi also held those feelings, for someone she is seeing everyday, traveling with, showering with. A sudden wave of fresh tears form in your eyes. 

“You… you like her too. Were you ever going to tell me?” You ask suddenly, pulling your hand away from hers.  

“Of course I was, it's not like I would ever dream of acting on those feelings. I was worried about you. You’ve been acting off.” Mapi defends. 

“I’ve been acting off because I find this person attractive, the same person you apparently find attractive. A person you will be spending time with, alone.” A tone that isn’t anger but more so anxiety present in your voice. 

“I’m not going to ever act on it, I love you, that isn’t changing.” Mapi insist. 

“But what if you eventually find you are loving her? She seems charming, pretty. What do I have to compete.” 

“You aren’t competing my love, there is no competition.” Mapi’s words hang in the air as you process all that has been shared. 

But what if you want to share? The thought of Ingrid making your heart flutter, not in the way Mapi makes it flutter but in a way that feels like she completed the puzzle the two of you were pieces in. Your love for Mapi hadn’t changed, it had only grown over the years, but the thought of Ingrid felt like your heart was whole. 

“What would you think if I thought dating Ingrid would be appealing, if I thought she would fit in well with us?” You ask hesitantly. 

“Are you asking if I would want to open our relationship?” Mapi asks. 

“Not open, it wouldn’t just be anyone. Just Ingrid.” You respond, watching Mapi out of the corner of your eye. 

“I… I wouldn’t be opposed, not if she would be okay with it. She would have to want both of us, I’m not losing you because of someone else.” Mapi whispers. 

“I don’t think you would have to ever worry about losing me.” You say softly as you place a gentle kiss on Mapi's cheek. “Let's think of it this way, if Ingrid shows any interest we consider it. But we will not tarnish us by seeking it out, okay?” 

“I’m okay with that,” Mapi agrees, her arms wrapping around you tightly as the two of you sink back into the couch. A million thoughts racing through your mind as everything that has happened catches up to you.

[aperrywilliams]

My Lover Boy (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Request: "Can you write something super angsty, like the reader and Spencer have something going on, but technically, they're just friends, and then everything with Lila Archer happens? She's sad but tries not to show it to him, and he is mad at himself for getting with Lila. Derek is teasing him, and it's super angsty, but it all ends up okay."

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.

Summary: You think something is going on with Spencer, something beyond friendship. But you start to question it when a case in LA pushes Spencer to spend time with Lila Archer.

Word Count: 4.6k

TW: Angst with a happy ending. Use of some strong words. Some suggestive comments. Mention of having sex. If I forgot something, let me know.

A/N: Thanks for the request! Keep sending them to me.

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"Hey, did you get something?" You ask Spencer when he returns to the precinct. He and Gideon were at a gallery open to obtain information for the case you are working on in LA.

Spencer shrugs. "Not really. They all were more interested in photos and the press."

"Celebrities," you huff playfully, and Spencer chuckles.

"Yeah. Something like that," Spencer agrees.

"I'm going to grab some coffee. Do you want some?" You offer, standing from where you were checking the case folders.

"Sure," Spencer accepts, sitting and grabbing a folder for himself to inspect. You pass by him and squeeze his shoulders in a gentle gesture, subtly kissing his head.

"I'll be right back," you murmur before leaving the room.

Things with Spencer have been kind of odd for a while. Sure, you still are coworkers and friends, but ultimately, it is like you both are getting to terms with the idea that something else is going on. You don't know what it is really, and neither of you has sat to talk about it.

Why? Lack of time, maybe? Fear of being misreading the signals? Both?

Whatever it is, you have been acting like nothing is happening, although you almost kissed after a bar outing two weeks ago. You would have if Morgan hadn't called Spencer when you were about to kiss outside your apartment.

After the interruption, neither of you brought up the topic again.

Now you are stuck in LA, trying to solve a case involving celebrity killings. So, of course, the media and the locals have been nailing your asses for answers.

There is no time for anything else but to try to catch the unsub as soon as possible. Hotch asked you to narrow the unsub comfort zone. It's a task that's usually assigned to Spencer, but Hotch has him tracking information from one of the possible unsub's targets: Lila Archer, an actress with a promising career ahead.

"Pretty boy now has the best assignment in this case," Derek sighs as he slumps into one of the chairs in the meeting room.

Elle and you scoff at his dramatics. Morgan points an accusing finger at you.

"If you have seen her, I'm sure you would agree with me."

Neither of you pays too much attention to Derek's tantrum and keeps working instead.

It's almost night, and when Hotch returns to the precinct with Gideon and no Spencer in sight, you raise an eyebrow.

"Where is the genius?" Elle asks.

"With Miss Archer. We need to keep an eye on her, and Reid has the rapport already," Hotch explains before asking for your progress in the task you were assigned.

How does Spencer suddenly become a bodyguard? You don't know, but don't question it. You assume Hotch knows what he's doing.

An hour later, Garcia calls, saying the cameras at Lila's property show a strange person wandering around. The fact Spencer is not answering his phone makes everyone flock out of the police station, and all of you think the unsub is trying to get into the house.

What if the unsub is already inside and hurt Spencer? Shit, you are a nervous wreck, although you try to mask it to the rest of the team.

When arriving at the house, Hotch split everyone: Morgan and Elle are assigned to the front. Hotch and you take the backyard. Gideon, with the patrols, canvass the main street.

As you approach, your heart beats faster and faster. With your gun aimed, you're ready for anything but the fact you hear laughing coming from the pool.

You are covering Hotch's back, and he is as confused as you after opening the gate.

You both see Lila getting out of the pool in a fit of laughs and Spencer, entirely clothed, inside the pool.

"Are you okay, Miss Archer?" Hotch asks, holstering his gun and checking the surroundings with his gaze.

"Oh, Agent Hotchner. I didn't know you were coming," she mentions casually, wrapping a towel around her torso.

Realizing danger isn't imminent, you holster your gun, too, and reach a hand to help Spencer.

"What the hell happened?" You ask him as you take in his drenched clothes and wet gun resting at the edge of the pool. Spencer doesn't look at you, only mumbling, "I fell."

Well, weird but not implausible, considering Spencer isn't the best-coordinated man in the world.

You help him, grabbing a towel from a chair and handing it to him. You take his gun and remove the bullets from the soaked chamber.

You want to know more about the whole situation, but before you have the chance to ask Spencer, you see Derek, Elle, and Gideon coming.

Finally, the alert came from a paparazzi who was around the house and wanted to take photographs of Lila. And regarding the pool? Lila said that she wanted a dip, and unfortunately, Dr. Reid tripped and fell.

No one says anything about it, but the looks Elle and Derek give Spencer catch your attention, as does the way Spencer avoids talking to you until you are called to return to the precinct.

Despite the incident, Lila insists Spencer stay as you continue investigating the evidence.

So you all come back to the station, minus Spencer.

You don't know why Elle instructs you to check the camera roll recovered from the paparazzi, but there you are, in a dark room, revealing what could be pieces of evidence.

What you do not expect is the kind of images that are showing before your eyes: Spencer and Lila Archer making out in the pool.

What-the-fuck?

Now, the scene you found when you arrived at the place with Hotch makes a little more sense. Spencer was entirely soaked while Lila, with a smug expression, walked into the house with a towel around her torso.

You don't know what reaction comes first. But you can recognize the deception and the way your heart shatters into a million pieces.

They were kissing. In the pool. At night. Like nothing is happening around them.

You have been working your ass to catch an unsub, and the doctor is enjoying himself with a movie star. In addition, they lied about the whole ordeal.

The tears pool in your eyes, but you are fighting not to let them fall. Not here. Not for Spencer. Not for anyone.

Why bother, anyway? You are just friends.

What? Will you ask him for an explanation?

It's not your place, even if you thought something was going on between you both.

How stupid you are. You don't stand a chance with him. Spencer only sees you as friend material.

With the entire film revealed, you shove the photos into a manila folder and leave the dark room.

Elle raises an eyebrow when she spots you walking toward her. You throw the folder over the table.

"Here's what you asked me for," you say in a harsh tone before turning around and walking out of the precinct. Elle doesn't say anything and doesn't need to open the folder to know what's going on.

When the team moves to Lila's house again a few hours later, already knowing who the unsub is, you stay behind in connection to Garcia to coordinate at the police station. You don't need to be there again.

You won't get exposed to see Spencer and Lila together.

Early in the morning, with the killer in custody and Lila Archer safe, you are ready to come back to Virginia.

During the flight, you seclude yourself in the farthest seat, headphones on and eyes closed. It works. No one disturbs you.

But you fail to notice Spencer's eyes on you the entire time.

After touching down, Hotch gathers you in the office to do the debriefing when you only want to go home.

Spencer tries to talk to you a few times, but you slip away from him every time, using whatever excuse not to speak.

Finally, Hotch officially closes the case and sends you home with two days off. Without saying goodbye to anyone, and with your heart broken, you run out of the BAU.

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Spencer looks for you when he exits the conference room, but you're already gone. His guts tell him something happened to you, and he is worried. Usually, you're open to talking to him, and with this thing going on between you both, Spencer doesn't know how to ask you about it. But even if he wants to do that, he needs to have you in the same room first.

And that will only happen once you are back at the BAU in two days.

He thinks maybe he should go to your place but refrains from the idea. Perhaps you're just tired, and he doesn't want to make it worse.

He doesn't know you sulked in your apartment the entire time, and when you all return to work two days later, you are not still talking to him.

Spencer trails behind you like a lost puppy. He tries to make some conversation with you every chance he gets, but you avoid him like the plague. Spencer still doesn't know why you're acting so cold with him, so he goes to someone who might know: Elle.

Spencer walks to her desk, ready to get some kind of answers.

"What is it, Reid?" Elle asks without looking at him. Spencer clears his throat.

"Do you know if something happened to her?" he questions, referring to you. Elle rolls her eyes in annoyance before lifting her gaze to him.

"Are you kidding me right now, Reid?"

Spencer frowns in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

Huffing, Elle digs through the stack of folders on her desk, pulls out the one with the photos you developed, and passes it on to Spencer.

"Serve yourself, genius."

Spencer proceeds to check what is inside, and his cheeks immediately start to burn.

"She - she saw these?" Spencer stutters. Elle pulls a face.

"If she saw these? She developed the camera roll and gave these to me."

Spencer wants to die. It makes perfect sense, but that means he screwed it up.

"Why did she do that?! I mean, no one else could have done it?"

"I asked her to," Elle says, folding her arms over her chest.

"Why did you do that?!" Spencer squeals.

It doesn't matter why, but he still can't believe you saw everything. Spencer knows it was wrong to kiss Lila back, but for him, it didn't mean anything. His heart already belongs to you, even if he hasn't told you yet.

"What did I know that she would find out photos of you and Lila sucking each other's faces? I thought there were only pictures of Miss Startlet swimming and you stupidly falling into the pool. Isn't that you told me happened?"

Spencer Reid has rarely been left speechless, but this is one of them. A mixture of shame, regret, and anger at himself makes his stomach churn, and he wants to dig a hole to disappear.

He needs to explain to you what happened. But how could he approach the subject? You and Spencer are friends in the first place, and he didn't tell you what really happened in that pool. You had to see it for yourself in those pictures.

And thinking about your 'situationship' makes it even worse.

Spencer leaves Elle's desk, thinking about what to say and looking for the best moment to talk to you. But luck isn't by his side: in mid-morning, Hotch announced there is a case.

At least it's local this time.

In the afternoon, he spots you walking alone in one of the hallways. It's now or never, he thinks.

"(Y/N), wait!"

Hearing your name, you reluctantly turn only to see Spencer jogging to catch up with you. You want to turn again and leave, but it won't be subtle if you do that.

"What is it, Spencer? There is something about the case?" You ask flatly. Spencer knows you know it isn't about the case, but he has to assume you don't.

"I - uh. No. It's not the case. I - I just want to make sure you are okay?" His voice is wary, and the fidgeting of his hands is a tale-telling that he's nervous.

"I'm okay. I'm great, actually," you say, faking cheerfulness. Your patience runs thin, and Spencer isn't helping.

He frowns, knowing what you are doing.

"Don't be like that. I really wanted to make sure you are okay," he mumbles shyly. You cross your arms over your chest—a defiant look in your eyes.

"And why I wouldn't, uh? Something bad happened to me? There is a single reason why I shouldn't be okay?"

Spencer contemplates his response for a second. How does he say it in a way that does not sound self-centered?

"I don't know. You haven't talked to me since the last case in LA."

Spencer opts to bring up the obvious and let the overwhelming evidence out of this for now.

"And that bothers you?" You ask in a disbelief tone.

Spencer knows this isn't working.

Damn to his inability to lead meaningful interactions when he needs to.

"Yes! I mean, we - we're friends. You can tell me if something is going on."

The friend card. Spencer thinks it's the safest approach. But he's wrong. You laugh humorlessly.

"Honestly, Spencer? I don't know if we are friends anymore."

Your tone tries to be cold, but behind it, there is a tiny wavering you try to suppress at all costs.

"What? Why are you saying that?"

That's the limit Spencer reaches and pushes you to snap.

"Because friends don't lie to each other! When I asked you what happened at Lila's house, you lied to me!"

Spencer gulps because he knows you are right.

That is what he needed to say first, and not have to wait until you were who threw it at him.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, gazing at his feet.

And then again, the guilt, the embarrassment.

Why did he do it? He isn't attracted to Lila. Why did he kiss her back?

"Yeah, me too. But you know? I'm glad. I'm glad you finally found someone and that now I know where I stand."

It hurts you to say the words. Spencer can see the crack in your demeanor, and he is the one to blame.

"What? No! No, I'm not- I didn't find someone," he chimes in an attempt to clear this up. "It's not what you think."

"Isn't? I saw the pictures, Spencer. I developed them myself. I know what I saw."

"She kissed me!" Spencer exclaims, trying to get afloat because he feels he's drowning.

"So what? If that's the case, you kissed her back!" You spat, angry at the lame explanation coming from Spencer's mouth.

"It was a mistake! I shouldn't have done that! You have to believe me."

Spencer tries to take hold of your hand, but you don't let him, yanking your arm and keeping your distance from him.

"Why do you think it's a mistake? Uh? She's pretty, almost famous, she's into you. I don't think it is," you start, and Spencer frowns. "What I can't understand is why you didn't tell me the truth before I could find out from those goddamn photos. What did you expect? That I would criticize you? What would bother me about your love adventures in Hollywood? You said it yourself: we're just friends."

"(Y/N), please," Spencer tries to get to you but is to no avail.

"It's your fucking life, Spencer. Do what you want with it! But let me out of it."

Without another word, you storm out to who knows where but far away from him.

Spencer knows he fucked up big this time. And his attempt at apology made things only worse.

He didn't see you for the rest of the case. Spencer assumed you secluded yourself in Garcia's office.

From his spot at his desk, he can only see Elle's disapproving look.

There is no reasonable reason for what he did, and that consumes Spencer's brain. He doesn't like Lila. He has been pining for you long enough to be sure he loves you.

'Men are men,' Elle usually says when Derek brags about his conquests. Spencer always felt proud of not being that way. And what happens when a pretty actress jumps at him? He goes with it. Elle is right, then. He is like any other man.

The question is if he will do something to gain your trust - and affection - back. How can he fix this?

------------

A whole week has passed since the case in LA. The BAU looks pretty much the same as always, if not for the fact you only talk to Spencer when it is strictly necessary. The team doesn't pick up much of it, though. Only Elle knows what's going on, but she won't pester you with questions or unrequited advice.

Spencer is doing nothing extra to call your attention, although you can feel his eyes on you sometimes during the day. But you assume he got your message, and he'll go on with his life.

The problem is you can't bring yourself to do the same. You know your chances with Spencer are a past thing, but your heart still doesn't get the memo. And you try, really try to be neutral, professional, and collected. It works in the majority because nobody asks questions or refers to what happened in LA.

But the state of 'everything is fine' in you is fragile, and you know that.

It's Friday afternoon, and everyone wants to end their reports to go finally home. You see Spencer from the corner of your eyes. He is deep-writing in what you assume are the details from the last case. Elle is doing the same. You are trying to focus on your work, but the tiredness makes you go slower than you want.

Suddenly, the glass doors open to reveal a grinning Derek Morgan walking straight to Spencer's desk with something under his arm. It looks like a newspaper.

"Hey, lover boy!" Derek claps Spencer's back with a shit-eaten smirk plastered on his face. Spencer looks up at Derek with a frown. "Don't look at me like that Casanova. You are the one who didn't tell me about your little something with Miss Starlet."

Morgan places a newspaper he's carrying on Reid's desk. The cover is a photo of him making out with Lila Archer.

"W- what?" Spencer stutters as his cheeks redden. His eyes quickly move from the newspaper to find yours, and you only want to disappear. Averting his gaze, you try to focus again on the file you are reading. Elle rolls her eyes from her desk.

"My man! You slept with her that night, didn't you?"

"Morgan, stop," Spencer pleads, but Derek doesn't relent, even when the air in the room becomes way thick in instants.

"You can tell me! Is she good? I bet she is-"

"Morgan, no!" Spencer's high-pitched voice tries to make Morgan shut up.

"Come on, give me something pretty boy. She is wild in bed, doesn't she? How many hickeys did she leave on you?"

You actually cringe at Morgan's words. The sole idea of Lila and Spencer sleeping together makes you sick to your stomach.

You're about seconds to stand and get out.

Elle, who is observing the whole scenario - thing Derek doesn't - huffs in irritation.

"Why don't you and lover boy go to spill your gut about your sex life out of here? We are trying to work if you didn't notice."

Morgan frowns. Usually, Elle backs up his teasing to Spencer. But when he is about to say something again, you're - not so subtly - grabbing your things and storming out from the bullpen.

Your collected attitude goes out of the window.

All of them be damned, you think.

Spencer is standing right away to chase after you, leaving Morgan with a confused look, silently asking Elle what the hell just happened.

"I am only going to say that you are a total asshole, Derek Morgan," Elle states before returning to her files.

Meanwhile, you're pressing the elevator button, and you can feel Spencer rapidly nearing you.

“(Y/N)! Please, wait!"

When he's by your side, you intentionally look to another way.

"Not now, Spencer. Just let me go."

Just let me go. That statement has more meaning than the explicit one you're voicing.

"Morgan is only messing with me. I didn't sleep with her."

Spencer thinks blurting the truth will be enough to stop you from running away from him. But things are already more complicated than that.

"It doesn't matter, Spencer. Now, let me go."

Your insistence is more like an agonizing plea. You're so tired. There is no fight you want to engage in right now. You think you won this time when the elevator doors open, but it's short-lived as you see Spencer stepping inside as well.

"No! It does matter!"

The elevator doors close, and now only are you and him.

"Why? Uh? Why is it so important for you to tell me this?"

Your sudden raised voice takes Spencer aback. You're pissed off.

"Because - because it is the truth!" He defends.

And maybe he's right. Perhaps he didn't sleep with Lila, but your heart is already broken, and you only need space to get used to the idea and heal.

"Spencer. I already told you you don't owe me an explanation. Truth or not, it is not my business anyway."

Your tone is not angry but deflated, exhausted. Your gaze drops to the floor.

Spencer wants to scream; there is so much in his chest to say, but his brain doesn't cooperate in spilling something coherent.

"But I want it to be!" He decides to say, and he gets you to look at him again.

"What? are you talking about?"

"I want it - I want it to be your business," Spencer repeats, and you don't know what to say; you don't even know what he means.

The elevator dings and the door opens. You both stand there for a second, frozen after what looks like a confession. Or not. You're not sure.

"You don't know what you are saying," you mumble, deciding to move and pass him to walk into the parking garage.

"I know I should have said this before," Spencer continues walking after you. "I know I should have said something that night when we almost kissed. I regret I didn't."

You stop when he mentions that night. At this point, you thought he didn't care, and it didn't mean anything to him.

"Nothing happened that night," you say bitterly.

"But it should have. Don't tell me you didn't feel it," Spencer poses a hand on your shoulder to stop you from turning away again. Your eyes fill with tears, but you're fighting not to let them fall.

"And what if I did? It doesn't change anything," you shrug, a painful look in your eyes.

"It does! Because I love you and I do really want to make it up to you. I want you back. I want to amend the hurt I caused you for my stupidity."

Did he say 'I love you'? That takes you aback.

"Spencer-"

"I know I messed up. I know it was stupid to kiss Lila back. It doesn't matter if she did it first or not; you're right. But believe me, it didn't mean anything to me because she was not you. She is not you and will never be."

"You're confusing things," you shake your head, still not giving credit to his confession.

"After our fight the other day, I really thought about stepping back and leaving you alone. I have been torturing myself all week trying to conceive a life without you on it, mourning the lost of our friendship, and above all, mourning the lost of the prospect of to be your person, and you to be mine."

You can't keep your tears at bay anymore, so you let them free. Spencer cups your cheeks, and you can see tears in his eyes, too.

"But I can't. I can't let you go. Not without telling you the truth. And if you don't feel the same, that's okay; I won't push any further, and I'll leave you alone."

You can't tell him that you don't feel the same way because that would be the biggest lie in the universe. You are also sure that you love him, and that is why this situation has broken you so much.

You blink away some of your tears as Spencer looks at you, trying to read the truth in you.

"I think I have been in love with you since ever," you blurt out, with a half sob and half chuckle. "And I felt so heartbroken seeing you kissing her, and now Derek comes suggesting-" you trail off.

"Hey, don't think about that. I messed up, and I didn't say anything earlier because, to me, it didn't mean anything. I'm so sorry," Spencer apologizes, running his thumbs under your eyes to wipe some of your tears.

"How can - how can we start over?" you ask him shyly but hopefully. Spencer hastens to reply.

"The way you want it. If you want time to think, or if you want us to go slow, we can do that. If you wish to, can we go on a date first? Officially, a date? We can do that," Spencer rambles, and you smile for real for the first time in weeks.

"Yeah, we can go on a date, officially a date," you concede, and Spencer can't contain his excitement. "But, can I ask you for something first?"

"Of course. Just name it," Spencer says as his hands rub your shoulders lovingly.

"Can you kiss me now?" You request, with the most faked innocent look you can muster, making Spencer laugh.

"I can do that," he nods, looking at you intensely, gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips. Then Spencer leans down, closing his eyes at midway. You wait with batted breath until finally, his lips softly touch yours.

It's a tentative, sweet kiss. Your arms go up Spencer's shoulders until they land on his neck. His hands fall to your hips to pull you closer as the kiss deepens. It's no longer exploratory; it's hungry, messy, passionate, and you couldn't have wanted it any other way. You're sure this kiss is a thousand times better than the one he had with Lila, and Spencer completely agrees with that assessment because it's you.

That makes it perfect.

It's the need for air that makes you part after a while.

"Wow," you both say at the same time, starting to laugh like teenagers and trying to catch your breath.

When the laugh subsides, you narrow your eyes in contemplation and Spencer's eyebrow furrow.

"What?" he asks, and you look at him—a mischievous glint in your eyes.

"We agreed to a date first, right?" you ask, and Spencer nods.

"What if we skip that and make up for the lost time? What do you say, my lover boy?" you suggest, with a playful smirk on your face. Spencer's cheeks flush, but he is definitively excited with the idea. He quickly grabs your hand and runs with you to your car.

There is a lot to make it up, he agrees.

------------------ 

Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers 

[zaczenemiji]

Hi there! It's me...again. Hope your doing okay.

I was thinking about a new request about Kenji Sato x Fem! Reader based on the song "Please, Please, Please" from Sabrina Carpenter. Reader is a singer just like her so and has a relationship with Ken but she thinks that some things aren't doing good, but she also has him wrapped around her finger. Like the part with "I beg you, don't embarrass me, mother******". It can be angst but also fluffy and spice (Only if you want to but no smut) It can end in a happy ending.

The rest is up to you because I know you'll do a great job. No need to rush so take your time.

Don’t Prove ‘Em Right

Kenji Sato x Reader

Word Count: 1,358

Author’s Note: I went with a bit of angst 🤧

MASTERLIST

“You could do better.”

This was one thing you’ve always heard since you started dating men as a singer. Throughout your career, you were either cheated on, abandoned, or used in a way that they just rode your fame.

Other times, fans would ship you with another singer or celebrity or whoever famous and you’d give it a try for them but the ending is the always same: you two were just pretending for public entertainment and there was never love at all.

Your perception of love blurred the longer you got in the singing industry. You sang about it, wrote songs about it, but you’ve never really experienced it for a significant amount of time or for a significant depth.

That was until you met Kenji.

Despite his fame, he seemed down-to-earth and genuinely interested in getting to know you. He took you to his baseball games and introduced you to his teammates. In return, you invited him to your recording sessions.

Kenji was always supportive, and always encouraging. He seemed genuinely proud of your achievements and was always there for you. Despite his busy schedule, he shows up at your gigs and concerts and cheers you on from the front row.

He had a way of making you feel special like you were the most important person in his world. It was easy to overlook the occasional outbursts, the moments of impulsiveness that seemed to come with his fiery temperament.

You told yourself that everyone had flaws, and Kenji's good qualities far outweighed his bad ones.

You believed in him and in the future you could build together. Despite the red lights and the stop signs, you held on to the belief that this time, this love was right.

But as time went on, the cracks in Kenji's facade began to show. His temper flared more frequently, and his impulsive decisions started to take a toll on your relationship.

You made excuses for him and justified his actions to your friends and family. You told them he’s different.

But they told you that with the way he’s behaving, you’ll just end up in the dumps again—that he’s going to cheat on you, hurt you, leave you, and the ending will be the same…

“You could do better.”

Heartbreak is one thing, but your ego is another. You couldn’t afford your name dominating the headlines again. And for what reason? Another breakup.

You loved him deeply, but the constant cycle of highs and lows was exhausting. You wanted to believe that he could change, that he could be the man you fell in love with.

But the more you tried to fix things, the more you realized that some things were beyond your control.

You sat in front of your vanity doing your makeup nicely. You glanced at the clock. Kenji would be here any minute to pick you up now. Tonight is your big night. It’s an afterparty to celebrate the release of your new single.

Your boyfriend had a reputation for causing a scene. It wasn't entirely his fault—he was passionate but it sometimes translated into impulsiveness. Tonight, of all nights, you needed him to be on his best behavior.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Kenji stood there, looking dashing in a tailored suit, a grin spreading across his face as he saw you.

"Wow, you look stunning," he said, pulling you in for a quick kiss.

"Thanks," you replied, forcing a smile. "You sure you wanna come?"

"Of course," he replied with a confidence that both reassured and worried you. “I’m always here for you.”

You arrived at the venue in no time. Celebrities, reporters, and fans filled the room, all eager to celebrate your success. You and Kenji mingled with the crowd, exchanging pleasantries and accepting congratulations.

But as the night went on, Kenji's behavior started to shift. The drinks were flowing, and while you had stuck to soda water, Kenji had not.

You watched with growing anxiety as he laughed a little too loudly, and gestured a little too wildly. The conversations around you started to feel like a backdrop to a ticking time bomb.

You pulled him aside. "Kenji, please," you whispered urgently. "Just... take it easy, okay?"

He frowned, a mix of confusion and irritation crossing his features. "What? I'm just having a good time."

"I know," you said, forcing another smile. “Just... for me, okay?"

He sighed but nodded and for a while, it seemed like he was keeping his promise. He stuck by your side, an arm around your waist, engaging in polite conversation with your friends and family.

However, you left him one moment and then the next, he was talking to one of the reporters. The latter walked away, a smirk on his face. Kenji turned to you, his face flushed with anger.

"Can you believe that guy?" he spat. "He had the nerve to ask about the last game. Said I sucked."

"Kenji," you said softly, trying to calm him down. You placed your hand on his chest. "It's not worth it."

"But—"

"Please, Kenji. Just... let it go."

He looked at you, the anger in his eyes slowly fading. He took a deep breath and nodded. "For you," he said quietly.

But the reprieve was short-lived. You caught sight of him at the bar, raising his voice at someone who had apparently made a snide comment.

The situation escalated quickly, and before you knew it, Kenji had thrown a punch, causing a commotion that drew everyone's attention.

Your heart sank as security rushed in to break up the fight. You could feel all eyes on you, whispers spreading through the crowd.

You felt a sense of dejà vu as this wasn't the first time Kenji let his emotions get the best of him, and you were able to hold it together as you’ve always done, but then you heard the one thing you hated.

“She could’ve done better.”

Without a word, you grabbed your things and stormed out of the venue, the tears you had been holding back finally spilling over.

Not long after, Kenji arrived at your house, disheveled and remorseful. "(Y/n), I'm so sorry," he began, reaching out to you. "I didn't mean to ruin everything."

You stepped back, keeping a distance between you. "Kenji, this can't keep happening. You promised me you would behave tonight!” You said in between sobs. “This was supposed to be my night, and you turned it into a disaster.”

You sat on your couch, your legs feeling too tired to keep you up. "I can't keep making excuses for you,” you continued. “I can't keep sacrificing my career for your mistakes."

Kenji fell silent, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He’s scared. He knew what those words meant. At that moment, he felt like the sky was crashing on him.

"I don't want to lose you, (y/n)," he said quietly, tears falling down. "I love you, and I know I've been screwing up. But I'm willing to do everything to make things right. Therapy, anger management, whatever it takes."

You stared at him, your heart aching with a mix of love and doubt. "Kenji, this isn't just about tonight,” you said. “This has been happening for a while now.“

“Please, (y/n),” he begged, his voice trembling as he knelt in front of you, embracing your legs as he rested his head on your lap. “I want to be the man you deserve. Please, give me one more chance."

Over the next few weeks, Kenji followed through on his promise. He made genuine efforts to address his issues.

He went out of his way to apologize to your friends and family for his behavior at the party, taking full responsibility for his actions.

Slowly but surely, he’s coming back to being the man you fell in love with. He made sure you wouldn’t be the one doing better because he was becoming better himself.

One afternoon, you had lunch with your friends. They asked about how things are now going between you and Kenji. You gave them a smile, a genuine one since after the party.

“He became better.”

Taglist is open! Comment if u wanna be tagged on future Kenji oneshots

@flowerloves @eternallyvenus @puppyminnnie @wattpadsuckssohard @sakura-onesan @reggies-eyeliner @buggs-1 @miffysoo @spencerrxids @stupidbutsmart @marimargirlies @mixvchelle

[asumi2020202]

Blessing disguised as a Curse

Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Targaryen!reader.

A/N: After the 1st episode of season two I'm currently obsessing over Jacaerys. So, many Jacaerys stories will be uploaded as well as Aemond cuz I Love him too. Thank you for reading this fiction.

Summary: You were Alicent's daughter. Younger than the three, Aegon, Aemond and Helaena but older than Daeron. After returning from Dragonstone, Rhaenyra proposes a marriage pact between her eldest and you. A man your mother had warned you about.

___________________________ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ______

People and gatherings made you nervous. Anxiety coursed through your veins everytime someone started a conversation with you. Solitude was what you preferred. Your comfort was your sister and by some means her bugs as well.

Your mother warned you of the people that were coming back to Kings Landing. She told you to keep distance from them. Though you paid almost no mind to her words which were half controlled by your grandsire, you couldn't help but ponder about those people she talked about.

You knew them from the start before they fled to Dragonstone after taking your precious brother's eye. You had felt hatred towards them but 'what if they change?' You had thought countless of times.

You loved your siblings more than anything. Having a father only by name in the court and a stranger in the halls as he supported your half-sister with everything she had done even if it was killing someone.

You love them. You tried to be there for them through everything. You love Aegon even if was arrogant and misbehaving. You love Aemond even if he wanted revenge. You love Helaena even if she is called weird by others and is obsessed with bugs. You love Daeron even if you have almost no memory of him left.

_________________________________________

You were playing with little Jaehaerys and Jaehaera while Helaena was telling you more facts about bugs. She loved that her baby sister also had interest in her bugs and helps her catch them.

"Did you know that butterflies join their bodies together to reproduce?" Helaena asks you meeting your gaze.

"Really? I used to think they flap their wings together." You reply as you played with Jaehaerys while little Jaehaera sat on your lap.

"Hmm. The male butterfly often dies soon after they mate." Helaena spoke as her gaze shifted back on her embroidery.

"So then the female butterfl-" you were going to reply when the doors opened to reveal your mother.

Both you and Helaena looked up at her while the children were escorted away by the maids. " They have landed. Remember what I have told you my sweelings. Be on your best behaviours." Alicent spoke.

"Yes mother we understand " you replied speaking for both you and your sister. Alicent left the room after nodding at you.

_________________________________________

After meeting with her daughters, Alicent left their room. A maid informed her that Princess Rhaenyra had wanted to meet with her.

Alicent let the maid guide her to the room where Rhaenyra was present. When they reached the place, the maid opened the door to let the Queen inside.

Alicent was met with Rhaenyra. She could tell just by the looks that Rhaenyra was pregnant.

"It has been too long since we were granted the chance to converse" Alicent spoke, breaking the silence.

"Indeed it has been. I know you were busy with the royal matters at hand, so I asked for you at a time when you would be free." Rhaenyra replied looking into Alicent's eyes.

"Is there any important matter that you wish to discuss with me?" Alicent asked.

"Yes, there is one actually. The rift between us has lived far too long. I propose a marriage pact. My son Jacaerys will inherit the Iron Throne after me. Let my son and your youngest daughter be betrothed together so they shall rule together.

We are one family. And long before that we were close friends." Rhaenyra said and looked at Alicent for an answer.

"I sh-" Alicent was going to speak but Rhaenyra interjected.

"This marriage will help us reconcile with each other." She said.

"I shall think of it and give you your answer after the feast tonight." Alicent replied. "Thank you your grace." Rhaenyra smiled at her.

_________________________________________

Alicent had requested an audience with her father after meeting Rhaenyra to discuss about the marriage.

"Father I can't just sacrifice my child." Alicent pleaded. "I know Alicent but this marriage can help us take the throne and make Aegon the king." Otto reasoned.

"Tell Rhaenyra that you agree to this proposal. If y/n is married to her son then it will be easier to control them. When the throne is returned to the rightful heir, it will be easier to prevent war." Otto continued.

Alicent feeling defeated, agreed to her father's request.

_________________________________________

You were in your sister's chambers, waiting for her to get finished dressing up so you both could attend the feast together.

Your dress was simple yet the details on it were impressive. It was was a navy blue dress with golden details. It made you look ethereal.

When Helaena was done, the both of you left the chambers together. Holding tightly onto the hands of your sister as the maids escorted you to the feast hall.

All were seated at the table only getting up when Viserys arrived before sitting down again.

You were seated on the right side of Helaena as Aegon sat on her left. Aemond sat at the end of the table. Rhaena and Baela sat on your right. Starting small conversations which you could connect to and laugh with them.

You were trying hard to not feel nervous. You couldn't really face upfront only talking to Rhaena, Baela and Helaena.

Jacaerys had never thought you to be so beautiful over the years. When he first saw you after the years, he hadn't believed it was you. Only five and ten yet you were the most beautiful lady in his eyes. He had seen you accidentally when he was watching Aemond train, you stood in your balcony gazing at the sky. It was he who actually reasoned with his mother to marry you to him.

He couldn't take his eyes off of you during the feast. The way the dress showed your curves. The way you white hair was style. The necklace on your neck. He was in love.

You on the other hand couldn't even meet his gaze after what your mother told you.

'His brother took your brother's eye, who knows if one day he comes and decides to bring harm to us as well.' she had said.

Jace got up, walking upto you. Lending his hand forward, asking for a dance. You looked at your mother who just nodded. After which you had accepted his hand.

He led you to the side. The music had started. As you both started to dance. He didn't seem so bad. He seemed gentle, offering you bright smiles to which you just gave some small ones.

He looked different. Different than how your mother described him. Ruthless, arrogant, selfish and such.

After the feast, when the children went to their designated chambers, Alicent told Rhaenyra that she had accepted the marriage proposal. That she would try to forget the past and reconcile with her.

The two women decided that they shall break the news to the children and the king next morning, bidding each other a good night.

_________________________________________

You woke early as usual. Your maids had prepared you for the day. A knock on the door took your attention.

It was Jace.

The one who you felt some type of attachment to after the previous feast. He stood infront of your door as he said "Our mothers have requested an audience with us at the King's chambers. I was asked to inform you and take you to them."

"Very well then my prince, let us leave at once." You replied, getting up from your seat and walking down the corridor with him.

'My prince?' oh how sweet it sounded coming from your mouth. But he didn't want 'my prince', he wanted 'husband'.

He knew why they both were called, his mother told him yesterday night before he fell asleep. That the two would be married soon.

Upon arrival at the King's chambers, you greeted your mother, Rhaenyra and the king.

"Ah you've arrived. Do sit. Your mother and I have agreed on something and we wish for your answer as well." Rhaenyra said giving a smile while holding hands with Alicent like she used to when they were children.

You nodded your head as a sign for her to continue speaking.

"We have decided that you and my son Jace shall be betrothed together for the harmony of our family. Your mother has agreed and so has Jace but I wish for your answer." Rhaenyra finished her saying.

"It is a most judicious proposition. Wouldn't you agree daughter?" King Viserys who was resting in his armchair spoke up.

You looked at your mother, who stared at you and offered a smile and then to Jacaerys who looked around your face to find any kind of rejection.

You looked up at Rhaenyra, anxiety flaring through and spoke "if it can help the family be whole again and please my mother then I shall agree."

Rhaenyra's face brightened as did Jace's. Alicent only nodded.

"Well then. I believe we can start with the preparations right away." Rhaenyra said getting up to hold your hands as you looked up to her.

_________________________________________

"You've warned me my entire life about them mother, and now you simply marry me off to him. I don't get you." You spoke to your mother calmly.

"Sweetling, I know it is difficult for you but it is for the greater good. It is to uphold the realm and make peace." Alicent reasoned while placing her hand on your face.

No other word was spoken as you went back to your chambers.

You liked Jacaerys after the events of last night but you couldn't help but worry about what your mother told you. You couldn't help but worry about your siblings, you would have to leave your home and go to Dragonstone with them.

_________________________________________

Three days since that day, your wedding was held. You and Jace cut your lips and the your palms. Holding your hands together, you both drank from the same cup with your other hands. The septa reciting the vows the both of you had to take.

Your families bear witness of the event. Of the love that was to blossom.

After the feast that was held, you left for your now shared chambers in the red keep.

Jacaerys came in a moment after you. You felt nervous. It was your first night together. As if a miracle, he sense your nervousness.

"Is something bothering you dear wife? You even left the feast early." He asked softly not to startle you.

Wife. Oh how you knew you will love him just from how that word slipped from his mouth.

"It is nothing lord husband. It's just that I don't fare well in gatherings. I find solace in solitude." You reply back.

"Well I hope that from now on I can be your solace." Jacaerys replied with his bright smile as he came closer to you. Your chest almost touching his lower chest.

He was tall. You had tilt your head up to meet him. You didn't move aside as he cupped your cheeks and looked at your for permission.

As you nodded, he took the sign and kissed you. You both had consummated that night for the first time.

________________________________________

The day came when you had to leave with them to Dragonstone. You would eventually come back when Rhaenyra would be crowned.

You stood before your siblings and parents, kissing the cheeks of your siblings. "Will you come back soon muña?" Aunt.

"Of course my little cuddle bears." You said as you crouched down to meet the level of your nephew and niece.

You climbed on top of your dragon, Moonfyre as they all bid you farewell. You heart saddened as you thought that Helaena would be alone now with Aegon ignoring her. Aemond might not even apply his ointments properly. And your mother.. would be lonely.

Moonfyre sensed your worry and sadness, letting out a low groan. She was as beautiful as the night. A white dragon whose color slowly went from white to grey. Eyes as bright as the moon, earning her name when she hatched.

_________________________________________

Viserys was dead. It had been moons since you left. A raven had informed Rhaenyra that her half brother Aegon had usurped the throne.

The weight of the matter forced her to go in labor. Her child was a stillborn. It pained her. You knew it tore her from the inside but she had to focus one the matters at hand.

Ser Eryyk had came with the crown of King Jaehaerys I. Daemon crowned her as the queen as all bowed. Otto came to make peace with them which resulted in rejection straight up in his face.

She sent her sons to earn the favor of other houses.

_________________________________________

"Y/n" you heard her call you from the back as stood near the stairs of Dragonstone, gazing at the sea.

"Come walk with me" she told you. As you both went down the stairs to the beach, you both had a gentle conversation.

"Do you wish to switch sides? I would not blame you if you do for they are your family." Rhaenyra spoke.

"All my life, I've seen them being neglected. By both father and mother. I was their and still am their comfort source.

Aegon always told me that he will not sit the iron throne. He told me that being a king will only hold him down in one place, and that he wishes to fly free like a dragon." You pause, looking at her eyes while gently holding her hand before continuing.

"And now they tell me that he has Usurped the throne. That he is now the king and that he now rules. That doesn't seem like the Aegon i know." You told her as she looked at you and nodded her head.

_________________________________________

You stood in the middle of Rhaena and Baela as see someone tell Rhaenyra a few words as she broke down.

She turned around, her eyes filled with rage and sorrow.

Lucerys was dead. Vhagar attacked him.

You felt helpless. Did your brother intentionally kill the Heir to Driftmark? You knew he had a deep hatred for Lucerys for taking his eye. But he wouldn't go as far as to kill him.

A raven had been sent to Jacaerys, informing him of the news. You couldn't face the queen. She knew you were innocent but that cannot pardon the sin of your brother.

You had began to open up but now your alone again. The little child seeking solitude. Hiding from people.

_________________________________________

A raven had arrived, delivering a letter to you. It was from the Red Keep. It was Aegon.

Dear Sister,

I know what has been done cannot be changed, but Aemond didn't actually wanted to kill Luke. It was grandsire. He got in his head like mother. He lost control over Vhagar.

I don't wish to rule. They told me that inorder for Rhaenyra to rule, she would have to kill us. That she would kill us all to secure the throne for her and her son. Grandsire said the same thing to Mother the other day, I had overheard it.

This war shouldn't happen. It will tear all of us apart. We are not the enemy of the blacks nor are they ours. Our enemy is Otto Hightower. He wants to rule the kingdom indirectly by being the hand.

Tell our half sister that we must work together. That I am willing to lay down my throne. She will be the Protector of the Realm. I know this is a crucial time for you but stay safe.

-Yours truly

Aegon.

You didn't know what to say. You were Alicent's daughter, who would believe you. They might consider you a traitor as well. You clutched the letter to your chest.

You walls finally broke. You broke down on the bed. It was him from the beginning. Otto Hightower. Anger and pain surrounded you. You cried as you brought your knees to your chest and hid your face there.

The door slowly opened which you hadn't noticed. It was Jacaerys. He had a melancholy look in his eyes as well as of guilt and hatred.

He hated seeing you cry. His Lady Wife. He gently put his head on your back. You looked up to meet his gaze with a tearful look.

The way he looked broke your heart. He looked used and betrayed. You got up and met his gaze again never letting go of the letter.

"Lord husband-" you started but he shakes his head as a no.

"Don't. Don't speak." He tried to say it normally but it came out cold as he walked towards the desk in your room to perhaps look for something.

"Please listen to me. He is innocent. I got a ra-" You started again but got cut off.

""Innocent?! He killed my brother! How can you possibly call him innocent?! My brother went as a messager. He vowed not to fight and Your Brother!..... Took advantage of that!" He screamed at you. For the first time. You had never seen him so angry even when your brothers teased him. He looked at you with hatred.

Tears flooded your vision again. He had never raised his voice at you. You knew it was due to the loss of his brother but that didn't hurt any less.

"I understand your pain. But you must listen to me! At least once hus-" you reasoned which angered him further.

"How can you understand My pain?! T'is I who lost my brother not you. And whats there to listen to? That your brother killed him accidentally?!

Tell me. Were you also a part of this? I truly thought you had loved me. But it seems you're the same as well!" He shouted again coming closer to you.

"I truly do love you. Please believe me!" Your tears flowed freely.

"No you don't. Tell me... Was this marriage also a scheme of you and your family?! Shut up, just shut up for once!"

Your eyes went wide. He wanted you to shut up. You were bothering him. He doubted your love for him. His own eyes widened a bit when he realised what he said. He left the chambers in a hurry not wanting to discuss about this further.

Your chest felt tight. You couldn't breathe properly. You had trouble while trying to inhale the air.

_________________________________________

As Jacaerys left the chambers, he felt as if his clothes were too tight for his body. He saw Baela and Rhaena bringing your food to your chambers like they have been since the day they received the news of Luke.

They nodded at him as he reciprocated.

As they went inside the chambers, a scream could be heard. Possibly from Baela. It could be heard from all the corners of the castle.

Jace heard it before anyone else as his heart stopped. He rushed straight back to the shared room as he saw Baela cradling your unconscious, small form to her chest while Rhaena panicked and told the maids to call for the maesters.

His breathing stopped as he saw his mother and Princess Rhaenys enter the room along with the maester and maids. His mother looked at him as his eyes filled with tears.

First he lost Lucerys he can't lose you too. He didn't mean anything he said.

_________________________________________

Jacaerys paced around the hall infront of your room. He watched as Rhaena guided his little brother Joffery to his room. Joffery was fond of you which warmed Jace's heart.

As the maesters came out both he and Rhaenyra stood up.

"How is she?" He asked them.

"She has a heavy fever. It possibly happened due to excessive stress. She must have bed rest. " The maesters spoke before leaving.

_________________________________________

It had been 2 days. You were yet to wake up. Moonfyre's cries and wails could be heard from everywhere. She was uncomfortable. Her bonded sister was not well and she could sense it.

Jace held your hand as he apologized over and over again. His tears wetting the sheets.

Your eyes slowly opened. Adjusting to the bright light. Jace looked up to see you now wide awake, trying to sit up.

"No no lay down. You need rest. The maester said you were stressed." He said. His voice quivering.

"Don't cry. I understand your part. I'm sorry I am not what you wish for. I know you wouldn't want to be with a murderer's sister. Hence I give you full permission to take a second wife." You gently said while looking at him.

"No shut up." He said lowly not believing what you said. "I didn't mean anything I said that day. I am sorry." He spoke.

You looked out the window remembering the last time he had asked you to shut up. Tears again filled your eyes which you blinked away but Jace noticed.

"My love i didn't mean it that way. Please believe me." He pleaded shaking his head as held your hand tight.

News spreads fast in the castle. A maid had informed the rest that you were awake. Daemon was with Caraxes and lord Corlys and Princess Rhaenys were somewhere on the beach.

Rhaenyra, Rhaena and Baela came to the your chambers. The sisters came beside you as they held onto your hand.

Even though you were the daughter of their enemy, they loved you. You were different.

Rhaenyra looked at her son before turning her gaze to you. She felt disappointed in her son after she learned about the argument.

You asked Rhaena for the letter kept on your bedside table as your body was too weak to move. You probably need a few more weeks to be healthy again.

You asked her to give it Rhaenyra.

As Rhaenyra opened the letter and read it's contents, she felt clueless. She didn't realise the state of the other side. Her companion was manipulated from the start.

She held your hand and gave you a sad look. She handed the letter to Jace as she thought that he should read it as well.

His heart broke. You tried to tell him everything but he refused to listen. You tried to explain everything but he only badmouthed you.

Rhaenyra promised you that Otto Hightower will be punished and that none of your siblings would be harmed.

_________________________________________

"Muña!" "Muñaa" came two bubbly voice as they ran to you. You crouched down and opened your arms. The force of your nephew and niece's weight made you fall flat on your butt.

Jacaerys smiled as he saw the reunion. Infront of him stood your four siblings whom you kissed on the cheeks and hugged after getting up.

It was Rhaenyra's official coronation day. Otto Hightower was beheaded for his schemes against the crown.

Rhaenyra and Alicent were finally together again after Rhaenyra found Daemon with Nettles.

All of the royal family stood as King Jaehaerys' crown was placed upon her head. All gave their respects to their first queen.

Jacaerys held your hand tight as he smiled at you which you reciprocated.

_________________________________________

As night fell over kings landing, you and Jace retired to your new shared chambers.

"Husband. Join me in bed." You requested. Your body glowing in your night gown because of the moonlight.

"Of course avy jorrāelan." Jace replied as he climbed on top of the bed and over your body, pinning you down.

He kissed you passionately as one of your hand cupped his face while the other held onto his neck for support.

His naked chest glowed like yours in the moonlight.

"You are most precious thing I have my love." He said as pulled away from your lips.

"And you, my lord husband, came in my life like a blessing disguised as a curse." You said as you both looked at each other and hungrily kissed each other.

The two of slept a long time after consummating the entire night.

He truly did came in your life like a Blessing disguised as a Curse.....

-Lillian

[vyl3tpwny]

i am not a brony or a furry

do not call me these things.

it may sound counterintuitive.. i love my little pony and i love anthropomorphic creatures. i'm friends with people who are the same. but i fully reject the labels.

i think i have always felt this way, but i had always succumbed to the external pressure that came from people who just cannot let go of things. there is a sub sect of people out there who will say shit like "oh well then ur just a deserter! ur not a real—" bla bla bla. like. real cultish shit. you're not in charge of my life, you don't decide who i am, and it affects you with a total net zero consequence of how i live my life. i'm not going to claim labels that i don't believe in just because some anonymous jackass has an unhealthy attachment to semantics.

so why am i not a brony or a furry?

well. i don't really relate to the communities at large. i don't really want to be a part of them. i have so much trauma and bad memories, that maintaining the labels inhibits my ability to grow and heal. i feel immensely uncomfortable with any large community of any kind, and i don't really desire to be a "part of a fandom" for anything i enjoy. i am my own person doing my own thing in my own space. the labels themselves specifically harm me, and represent a mentality and aura i want to shed and grow from.

does this change anything about my work or my personality?

not really. i simply reject the labels. i still love the things that i love, and engage with the things i engage with. i don't want to be a part of a fandom, i just want to be a fan. i don't want to associate with a community at large, rather be a transient presence in that space while mostly choosing my own actual space and defining what i actually am.

so what do you call me?

an artist. a person. a creature. a fan. a listener. someone who loves my little pony.

i'm not really interested in this being a discussion in which i aim to prove myself or justify my thoughts about these labels. this is a purely emotional and organic thing.

i will continue to do things exactly how i have always done them. i will always be involved in the business of telling stories about creatures and worlds. merely, i am not a brony or a furry while doing these things. i am my own person and am justified in defining myself <3