#but ive learned not to care really

[punkalope]

sharing art on the internet isnt fun anymore and it sucks so much

i draw every day but trying to share it is exhausting, because if i want to post it somewhere i have to:

watermark it

make sure its a specific size

save multiple versions because some websites hate pngs

sometimes CROP multiple versions if i have a lot of details i want to share

watermark THOSE

make multiple copies of THOSE

reorganize my canvases to make them "appealing"

and at the end of the day, it probably isn't even worth it, because the website probably made it look like shit anyways.

ive learned to draw for myself now. i dont draw for clout, and i dont really think i need to, but its still such a bummer that i cant post my art anywhere just to admire it for myself.

sure, ive learned how to happily indulge instead of trying to please an algorithm. but it still feels like i can draw all i want, but im not allowed to put it on the wall or fridge, you know? its like making art and the only place i can really put it is my messy desk drawer, or sometimes sliding it over to a friend before putting it back in the desk drawer (and unless they put it in their own drawer, they have to ask me for it).

[vampireposter]

meeting wyll at the grove, as someone who the tieflings trust enough to train their children, says so much about him. it's so sad that he doesn't get explored in acts 2-3 as deeply as the other companions, when his problems are equally intense. the average player probably long rests once before coming across the grove, but even if not, in that time wyll has already proven to the tieflings that they can rely on the Blade of Frontiers.

this is the immediate first thing he chooses to do after being condemned to slow death via ceremorphosis. his priority list in the first conversations with tav is: 1) hunt down a dangerous devil, 2) help zevlor with the goblins, 3) once nothing threatens the tieflings he will gladly search for a tadpole cure. wyll is perpetually his own last priority, and i wonder if it has to do with the lore about souls.

if he believes mind flayers' souls have been destroyed, and fiend warlocks will all have their souls sent to the hells after death, then becoming a mind flayer isn't the worst possible way for him to die. he would never become a mindless monster to save his own soul, but he's not gripped by horror the way that some of the other origin characters are. lae'zel has been made revoltingly impure to her people, astarion is terrified of losing the scrap of bodily autonomy he just regained, gale is guilt-ridden over the orb detonation if he dies, shadowheart has to survive to prove herself to her cult leader, and karlach has also just regained bodily autonomy and is desparate to live.

this is just another quest for the Blade, whose persona guards wyll ravengard against the vice of self-concern when he ought to be concerned for those in need.

[inkskinned]

this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.

it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?

it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.

as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.

on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.

and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.

and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.

as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.

[spaghettiandart]

Charlie and the Puppet. Charlie kind of gives me 80's goth teen energy tbh so I drew a lot of her design from goth fashion trends at the time.

[queencryo]

would give it all up to be a driver for a minor noblewoman (widow) (vaguely western-european) stuck with her in the coach after i was forced to release the horses: this is the worst storm in decades, not even my paw coulda kept these posting-station horses calm through the peals of sky-splitting thunder.

We came to a stop in the middle of the road, the churned mud of the road eagerly assisting the coach's brakes. I'm completely drenched by the time I enter the cabin to report that we'll not be going anywhere, not that that isnt already clear. Plenty of Ladies like this, they would howl and beat at me for getting the road's mud into their carriage. but not mine: she worries only of the mud's water, and my hair's water, and my clothes' water, and how these all offer ample avenue for the night's cold to pierce my frame.

And pierce it does: now that the exertion of driving is ended, i am alarmed at how the cold has already convinced my body to take its side over mine, chattering and shivering so I can hardly understand it when my Lady pushes a parcel of cloth toward me. Its dry, she says, and she'll turn her back while I replace sodden roughspun with dry linen. after a moment of shivering hesitation, she does while i do. The fit is odd, in style as well as cut. She's plush where I'm paucious, I'm fowl bones failing to fill out sheep's skin. I keep the comparison to myself. I cough, and she turns, and she smiles. Says this frock suits me. The blood rushing to my face warms it, almost enough I stop chattering.

We start making the carriage a little warmer, lining the door with another of her dresses. It is a summer cut, too thin to keep the chill from your skin; cladding the coach door, though, it keeps the worst of the wind at bay. And once my cloak mirrors it on the door's opposite, the cabin changes. Less now a channel whose seams the wind can run through unabated. A haphazard little down, and we the rabbits.

And like rabbits, we huddle together. She has a great fur cloak, surely a gift from some earl or czar or other title. It's warm, utterly so, and so is she. The thought of her as a sheep was untoward, but I can't help but think of it again now. I had tried to avoid touching her for propriety, but she had insisted. Wrapping her arms around me like a child, but I was so cold I hadn't stopped her as she encompassed me. I'm not cold anymore, but I stay in her soft embrace nonetheless. She doesn't evict me, and I do not bring myself to ask why.

She asks me questions, about my family and my trade, about horses. It takes time, but soon I ask in turn. We have little in common, but that's an object of fascination rather than deviation. She's never horsed a shoe, I've never ridden in a coach. Her brother is a bore, mine is dead. Before we know it we are talking like friends, conversation passing between us like the present situation was the comfortable norm rather than the best way to avoid death by frost.

I don't know how long we talk, but in time the night in the cracks of our den turns from dark to pitch, and the rain calms from diluvian to quotidian. Our conversation slows with the rain, we sit in warm silence. I look up from a rambling story about my grandmother, and the lady is sleeping. Her snoring is just audible over the rain, and my heart flutters to hear it. I pull myself closer into her, and sigh through my smile.

I close my eyes, and sleep. I am warm.

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

watch the confrontation between Clytemnestra and Orestes (52:22-57:17) in the 1983 production of the Libation Bearers in the Oresteia trilogy by Aeschylus. Mommy Issues play of all time. utterly obsessed with the actor who plays Orestes's performance and delivery of his grievances in this confrontation. The translation is a little weird with the rhyming and alliteration BUT it really creates an interesting auditory vibe to it.

[ghouljams]

I would like to start this by saying that I love your writing. However I am curious as to if you are a part of the Deaf community? I saw your fae!Roach stories where you added sign and I like the idea of that but you also give him a sign name and it rubs me the wrong way. I don’t mean to be rude about it and just want to make sure that you are aware. It’s just that giving a sign name as someone who isn’t in the Deaf community is super disrespectful.

Hi! I've been learning asl on and off for about 4 years, but I'm not part of the Deaf community.

I want to start by saying being disrespectful to the Deaf community wasn't my intention. My intention was only that as a fae Gaz would never finger spell Roach's name, and would have to use a signed nickname for him. I suppose I could have, and perhaps should have, simply not had Gaz signing with Roach. However, since Roach is selectively mute, I felt like it would have seemed one sided for Roach to be signing and Gaz to be speaking. I want the 1fae1 to meet Roach where he is instead of expecting him to accommodate them.

I don't know how much overlap there is between the Deaf community and mute folks, so I don't know exactly what to say in terms of sign names there, but I'll drop the 'G' from Roach's nickname and just use the sign for insect. BSL is part of Roach's identity within the story, I don't want to drop it entirely, but I understand your concern.

Also if you know the BSL sign for cockroach I would love to use that instead because I could not find it even after like an hour of research.

[splitathon]

i wish i had more nullposting to do. i don't draw him enough i need to draw him more

[flamboyant-king]

Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.

I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.

I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.

So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?

[good-beans]

You talked a little while ago about why you don't think Shidou would make a good father to Amane (agreed) and proposed the idea of Mahiru adopting Amane. That's cute but I want to tell you about my post-MILGRAM headcanon:

Amane joins the Kajiyamas

Not Fuuta specifically adopting her, but like him taking her back to his family's house. I'm sure they'd have a spare room

I think people don't think about Fuuta's homelife much, or if they do they take Fuuta's one interrogation question where he calls his dad an old fogey and assume its like, abusive

And don't get me wrong, I don't think the Kajiyama household are perfect. Fuuta' beautician sister surely hasn't helped when it comes to Fuuta's body image issues and I'm betting they're all a bunch of tsunderes too embarrassed to say they love each other

But in a series where most of the abused characters are still convinced their abuser loved them/acted out of love. Seeing a guy not be afraid to call his dad a loser is almost a green flag

I think it'd be good for Amane to not necessarily be adopted as the lone child to a single parent but get to be introduced to a very different style of family unit from her own One where its normal to express different opinions or disagreements or even have arguments and not have it be the end of the world

Amane already has a snarky side to her, I bet it'd flourish in a brash household like the Kajiyama's (or at least how I imagine them to be)

OOHHH wait I love that so much! >:O

I agree -- I never interpreted Fuuta's family as abusive or harmful, just not super close and struggling a bit after his mother left. (And yeah, all as openly emotional as him😭) They seem stable and very capable to taking in a extra, very well-behaved child. Assuming Fuuta is the way he is because of them, that atmosphere of being very honest and forward would work well for her. They say things as they are, little by little pointing out the harmful parts of her worldview. Like you said, none of them make excuses about harmful behavior stemming from love, so she'd get a really healthy dose of truth in that area. She never feels coddled or treated like a baby. They care for her while treating her very maturely.

I absolutely love how well she and Fuuta get along, with that snarky side to her that you mentioned. It would allow her to fit in well in the new household, getting the sense of belonging she'll lose after leaving the cult. Also, seeing how Fuuta and his sister let things slip and aren't perfect sons/daughters, she'll be able to relax about earning a parent's love through perfect behavior. She'll probably stay exactly the same, but her stress about it will fade <3

I doubt Fuuta's father can ever replace the hole she'll have from her own father, but the addition of an older sister will be huge. Amane will never get the feeling her mother is being replaced, but the woman will still fill the gap of the older, same-gender role model she needs. Her beautician job may throw Amane at first (being an indulgence in vanity), but it isn't as in-your-face as other careers. I think she could definitely ease Amane into accepting it, and over time, accepting her own personal "indulgence."

Plus, her moving in would also be really good for Fuuta! I think he'd recognize there's a ton of fun things she missed out on, and that heroic side of him outweighs the part that cringes: he gripes and groans about going to "kid places," but he's always the one to announce "I can't believe you've never been to __, we're going right now!!" This allows him to touch grass leave the house and experience his own life to the fullest. He's able to channel his desire to help society into a healthier outlet. Also, seeing her studying habits and plans for the future might even inspire him to do the same. (might.) He becomes the stereotypical good big brother, though of course he denies it viciously...

I have recently been going insane over their friendship so I'm completely taken with this idea OUGH thank you for telling me ;-----;

[broodygaming]

rewatching she-ra again while I draw and and and omfg

In S5 when Wrong Hordak (never not funny) asks Entrapta about her "facial tic" and she IMMEDIATELY just explains to him what it is - a wink - what it's called and how it's used and THEN gives him encouragement to try it out so he understands it better and feels more confident??

My. Fucking. Heart. neurodivergent ppl looking out for neurodivergent ppl and showcasing EXACTLY how to just not be a dick to people who don't get social cues. It's not our fault. It's not personal. It's not us trying to be difficult. We just don't get it. Explain it, give an example, a safe place to practice it and boom, logged and loaded.

[july-19th-club]

the brilliance of mystery spot, in the canon of famous time loops, is that your ordinary time loop ending is like, the final thing that the characters need to solve or defeat in the story in order to move on. in mystery spot, the time loop ends halfway through the episode and then things stop being fun in any way and just get a thousand times worse . the time loop was a lesson, punishment, ironic/poetic situation, sure, but in its own repetitive way it was also protecting the characters, keeping them from having to face the consequences by always resetting them to a time before disaster strikes. breaking out of the loop only makes disaster more permanent, and then you find out that they're just in a longer version of the loop

[matchandelure]

binge read all of kaiju no 8 a couple days ago :::) and im all caught up w the anime now too i am hooked holy

[needylittlegirl]

sometimes ill be doing some normal everyday task and ill stop and realizing that im doing it pissed as hell cause i started thinking about yolanda saldivar

[assmaster-8000]

you guys do realise getting mad about sparkle 'slutshaming' aventurine is baseless when the fandom has been calling men whores and sluts pretty much since the inception of smutty fanfiction? why is it suddenly a problem if a character does it but not when real fucking adults call many 16 year old characters a slut? would you really be this angry if sparkle was a man and aventurine was a woman too or is that scenario a norm for you?

(also, if you genuinely believe she was slutshaming aventurine i feel like you have a very bad case of tunnel vision because its not the act of doing sexual deeds for sundays favor she's talking about. she's taking a jab at if aventurine did something outlandish and out of nature to pwomise his widdle corporation wouldn't hurt penacony (yea right wise guy type of tone). i feel like any other hyperbole would have gotten her point across. if anything it feels like she's making fun of his inability to be vulnerable or be on the end with disadvantages because aventurine is always big on being in bets and deals where he has the power)

((and yes im aware sparkle is the type to make discriminatory jabs at people given the sigonian situation and her masked fool status but again it does not necessarily mean this is specifically targeted at his sexuality because it's just very out of place))

also, if sparkle DID use a slur against romani people

why are you more upset at the character than the company?

you do realise sparkle can't code her own dialog, right? there's real people at the hoyoverse company building making her say these things. whether or not it makes her a good or bad villain doesn't matter because you're just targeting a fictional character instead of holding hoyoverse responsible. you do realise that by wringing your panties into debating about sparkle, you're just overlooking the real cause of it? it's like green shopping and carbon footprints all over again. we're so focused on pointing fingers at all these irrelevant figures that the true heads behind it get away scott free.

if you're upset about the use of the slur which is very much understandable so i mean this specific sentiment in the most genuine way possible; highlight hoyoverse's role in this. you already know hoyoverse does a bad job at handling cultures outside of their own so it's not like it's something outlandish to hold against the company.

[strrwbrrryjam]

a trope that i absolutely despise with shipping that i see all too much is that, when a character has a female love interest in the show, but there is a popular gay ship of that character, people tend to either devalue, get rid of, or villainize that female character and i am so tired of it.

you wanna have gay ships? fantastic, i love that for you, almost all of my ships are gay but stop throwing that female love interest to the side to prop of the gay ship.

there is so much you can do for her, make it a polycule, give her her own love interest, make her more than the love interest and her own character, etc etc etc, i don't care, just.. stop doing that shit man