#but just fyi this is the nicest it gets its the nicest its ever gonna get bc i do not have many nice things to say

[elftwink]

i don't think trans*ndrophobia truthers realize that they also make it Harder for some transmascs to talk about our experiences properly - personally it's become a lot harder to talk about my experiences with both transphobia and misogyny as a transmasc m+f multigender person bc every discussion inevitably becomes some form of justifying "trans*ndrophobia" as a term, or someone pulling the ~we ALL experience transmisogyny~ shit. people insisting on terms like "trans*ndrophobia" and etc

(2) really just feels like trying to establish another form of binary tbh; transmisogyny as a term exists bc there's countless statistics and years of evidence setting it as a form of oppression apart from other forms of transphobia, but now people are just scrambling for an oppression label for the transphobia every "type" of trans person experiences. it just doesn't sit right (sorry for the rant in your inbox btw, it's relieving to see smn else fed up w the "trans*ndrophobia" crowd lmao)

yes exactly my thoughts on it; the attempt to create some kind of universal transmasc oppression alienates people who don't fit that kind of framework. and it this point it's often difficult to even talk around it because if you try someone else hops onto your post and attempts to stuff you into that framework. admittedly this is often well-meaning but the fact that they don't view that behaviour as derailing the conversation to me is what has always indicated that they don't care about the nuances of that convo anyway, unless it can be used to further validate what they already believe.

one thing that really drives me up the wall about it is when you read posts about the term by people who use it, it feels like they're not willing to acknowledge that a lot of the pushback is from other transmasc people (or they don't realize, or whatever). instead it's framed really vaguely like "oh they're trying to take away our language" presenting 'trans*ndrophobia' as some topic that unifies all transmascs while only outsiders push back, thereby further proving how oppressed transmascs are and how much "we" need the term. i.e. "if it wasn't real, why would people hate us so much for suggesting it was?"

only that's not what's happening. this is a purely intracommunity debate that exists at this point almost solely online in primarily transmasc circles. most of the people who speak on it are transmasc, most people who form an opinion at all are transgender in some way. while i can't read anyone's mind and am not accusing anyone of intentionally misleading people, it does get a bit frustrating to have people act like i'm in the in-group (and therefore agree with them) while attributing my actual opinions to some nebulous "them" in an equally nebulous "us vs them" depiction of the situation. it allows them to feel like they're speaking for the good of all transmascs while ignoring whoever doesn't already agree with them. and it allows them to severely dramatize and play up what is, at its core, online tumblr transmasc discourse. which isn't to say it's not important but that i resent reading posts about how not using a stupid term many of us don't even like or find useful presents an existential threat to the transmasc community when really it's like some transmasc people said "i invented a term lets use it for xyz" and other transmasc people went "i don't like that and think it's bad for abc reasons" and that's literally where we are now. it's dishonest, regardless of whether it's intentional, and it demonstrates they're not really paying that much attention to any criticisms (but what else is new in this community lmao)

you're on the same page i am re: labelling although i think the establishment of any new binary is accidental and probably not even noticed because it's really buried in this idea of 'everyone deserves to have a label' which is then obfuscated by saying "everyone deserves to have language to talk about their experiences" (which. lmao. i guess we never were able to talk about our experiences before this term was invented, what, less than a year ago? a couple years ago? okay); at its core it's a deeply self-centred analysis of oppression. it's honestly frustrating to even bring up any facts or try to make a counter argument because it doesn't and will never matter bc they will never ever address these criticisms head on. bc it's simply so much easier to willfully misunderstand what transmisogyny (the term) means and the significance of it, and characterize any dissent as some kind of censorship or silencing or transmasc voices. if you can fold in any genuine criticisms of your views and behaviors and make them synonymous with the marginalization you face, you never have to deal with the substance of the criticisms. i have yet to see anyone give a satisfying rebuttal to any points about transmisogyny, and about 90% of the time they miss the point entirely and default back to "if trans women get a label we should get one too". which is both childish and also does not address literally anything anyone is (or at least what i personally am) actually arguing. like we're going "it's not necessary and is often harmful to make up terms for different 'versions' of oppression. the reason some people have those highly specific terms is because in general that language is used to describe power systems, not directly apply to interpersonal experiences (though it often can be applied that way)" and they're like "but i want a specific term for my oppression to indicate it is also unique and important" like. nobody said it wasn't and that is so beside the point i'm gonna explode

[sj0228]

astro notes for fun lol

HEY! this is my first astro observations post so don't be too hard on me lol unless u wanna then sure maybe i can improve them somehow BUTANYWAYZ this is for entertainment purposes only!! obviously these are just my own observations so if they don't resonate with you don't get offended or you're a big ol' 🅱️uss so here they are!! also SHOUTOUT TO MY AMAZING FRIENDS fyi i got sum help from them by asking them billions of questions to confirm my suspicions so uh hope that makes the observations more accurate LOL ANYWAYS HERE THEY ARE!! i'll probably make more in the future cuz i think they're super fun to make :D also if u couldnt tell uhm this isnt very professional im not professional BUT I TRIED TO MAKE IT PRETTY so pls dont be bothered lol im just doing this for fun i didnt even wanna make an astro page so yea </3pretty unreliable LMAOOO

👩🏻‍🦲 the house your mars is in is what pisses you off the most!! (eg. 1st - people assuming things about you, 5th - people beating around the bush, 7th - things that disrupt the harmony of your environment, 9th - the need to hold back your opinions because others get bothered by them being "offensive")

👩🏻‍🦲 cancers are true ambiverts and i've truly never ever seen a cancer who wouldn't be both introverted and extroverted at times. they are always either social introverts or quiet extroverts lol. or both!! (somehow 0_0) they enjoy people's attention, whether it's wanting to be noticed or appreciated or generally cared for, and they need their alone time. they tend to be very productive at those times, too.

👩🏻‍🦲 ok i have a lot of notes for cancers so it's gonna be a lot lmao sorry anyways!! i've also noticed they LOVEEE breaking loose every once in a while, if not every time they're given the opportunity! thing is, it's usually only if someone else is there to convince them or do it with them. they don't like taking risks alone! they are very impressed and fond of the 'wild child' persona people because they bring out the cancer's wild side!

👩🏻‍🦲 libra moons are absolutely loved by people, it's so crazy! like, no matter what they do they always have attention on them. this can manifest badly if the moon person is actually pretty horrible, things they do tend to be overlooked and others move on pretty quickly from their mistakes, letting them do whatever they want. i wanted to give an example but uh,,,,, i shall.. refrain😳

👩🏻‍🦲 libra suns with water moons are so scary when they're angry..

👩🏻‍🦲 cancer moon is what i deem as the zodiac sign cute-ifyer lol. literally any "tough" sign like capricorn, scorpio or aquarius becomes a super cute goofball with this moon. WEIRDEST THING EVER THOUGH is that it doesn't work for cancer suns?! like if a cancer sun has a cancer moon this just makes the person very confusing but very funny. they can brighten anybody's day without trying!

👩🏻‍🦲 okay uh this isn't an astro note as much as it is me being a phucken simp but uh..... I HAVE AN UNDYING LOVE FOR ARIES SUNS I WILL MARRY EVERY EACHAND ONE OF YOU ISTG. ARIES SUNS ARE THE NICEST AND FUNNIEST PEOPEL I'VE EVER SEEN YOU HAVE THE BEST HUMOR EVER AND YOU'RE SO KIND TO EVERYBODY YOU'RE SO KIND I LOVE YOU YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS PLANET I WANT TO HUG YOU FOREVER okay jbshxhjn but fr aries are the best people ever?!?!?!?!?!?! pls

👩🏻‍🦲 okay JUST SO THIS WHOLE ARIES MENTION ISN'T JUST A POINTLESS LOVE CONFESSION - i've noticed a lot of ♥aries♥ people use the laughing crying face emojis (😂,🤣) unironically and it's honestly.....the best thing ever

👩🏻‍🦲 taurus suns do this sometimes as well

👩🏻‍🦲 THE MOST UNHEALTHY PERCEPTIONS OF ZODIAC SIGNS ARE PUT ON FIRE SIGNS, NOT THE WATER SIGNS AND THIS IS COMING FROM A PISCES!!!!!!1 every stereotype is always showing fire signs as those sunshine of the group people, the baddies, and the ones with the biggest 'idgaf' attitude. and while this can totally be true sometimes, most of the time it's super different! sad fire signs break my heart pls i just wanna hug you guys T-T they have it the hardest because unlike water signs who are already expected to be emotional, they often repress their emotions for the sake of others and because of the fear of betrayal or judgement, or just generally the idea of "it's better to have fake friends than to have zero friends". YOU GUYS PLEASE. cut these people off from your life you deserve soo much better i know it can be super hard to open up for you u just need a hug omg EVERYONE PLEASE CHECK UP ON YOUR FIRE SIGN FRIENDS ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR DAY N STUFF THEY WILL APPRECIATE YOU CARING FOR THEM! pls stay best and take care sweethearts ily!!!

👩🏻‍🦲 i've also noticed that some of the signs tend to show their sadness through anger - this is not just astrology though so if your friend has been jumpy lately please just check on them they are probably going thru sth😳 anyways the signs i mostly saw this in are pisces, aries and libra.

👩🏻‍🦲 cancers with feminine moons (earth and water) tend to be pretty introspective. they often think they're the ones being mistreated, and while this of course might be true, in reality it usually goes a lonnng way back lol. they often pay very little attention to others!! (masculine moon sign cancers (fire and air) can often be too focused on others more than themselves) this can be good because they don't snoop in other people's business but oh my god, guys, please pay attention to your friends, too! this WILL lead to lost friendships because, let's be real, nobody wants a one-sided friendship with someone who only cares about themselves! i don't want to target anybody here but this is just a pattern i've noticed wayyyy too often, so you might want to look into it and if you think this is you all you need is just to enlargen your perspective and it will all be okay. but please, PLEASE. think about your friends

👩🏻‍🦲 i needed to get this^ out because people often put this on leo placements but tbh i notice that leo placements are THE MOST generous of the entire zodiac and they always think of others first and that's what really makes them so popular. they very rarely are as egocentric as everybody says, they're just really loving and that makes them very lovable!

👩🏻‍🦲 scorpio risings are the prettiest people i've ever seen. not even kidding bruh i could stare at them for EVER their eyes are absolutely gorgeous and their mannerisms are just perfect pls marry me

👩🏻‍🦲 gemini and taurus placements make an individual soooo chill to the point where it often makes them lazy and a biig procrastinator lol. tho i love how they make light of it by using their amazing humor!

👩🏻‍🦲 you most definitely have your IC be one of your family members' sun sign or one of their personal planets. i have a taurus ic and my sister is a taurus sun!

👩🏻‍🦲 sagittarius suns are the best huggers cause THEY REALLY NEED A HUG SO GO HUG THEM RIGHT NOW. pls guys why r u so sad..

👩🏻‍🦲 scorpio mars aren't even as sexual as everybody says tbh. but they definitely do have some interesting.....interests ;)

👩🏻‍🦲 pluto aspects to personal planets are very prominent, but very hidden. if you have them, most likely you will be the only person to know about this side of you and it can be pretty dark..

👩🏻‍🦲 planets conjunct your sun will be the people you attract most in your life (venus conjunct sun - taurus and libra, jupiter - sagittarius and pisces, mars - aries and scorpio EVERYWHERE)

👩🏻‍🦲 your moon sign will be the sun sign of most of your friends

👩🏻‍🦲 if you don't quite relate to your ascendant, look at the sign you have in your 3rd house and at your mercury sign. this is how you communicate, convey your ideas etc. and will often be a major factor in people's first impressions of you :)

👩🏻‍🦲 lilith aspecting your sun may mean there's a side of you nobody knows.. 👁👁 you're also probably very convincing and people can be very drawn to you and they can't explain why. this also goes for lilith in 7th, especially in girls!

👩🏻‍🦲 you and your friends probably have each other's sun signs as your personal planets!!

👩🏻‍🦲 the kindest person you know is probably either a virgo or an aries.. and the meanest person you know is also probably a virgo or aries LOL

👩🏻‍🦲 capricorn suns & risings are THE hardest to read!! if they don't say what they mean people will just assume and they're never going to be right it's wild 👩🏻‍🦲 also capricorns definitely have the most dad energy, while sagittariuses are more like actual dads jdbshxcvb

OKAY THAT'S ALL!!!! im sure i have more but its 2 am i have school tomorrow or actually its today now so bye uh anyways there will most likely be more so if u liked these stay tuned!! oh and let me know if they were true witchu :o thats it love u stay awesome and super cool i love u byebye!!

[putas-in-suffering]

Angel’s Angel

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Female Reader/You 

Rating: Fluff, SFW

Warnings: Language, vague mentions of sex (nothing explicit), Angel’s slick ass mouth

Word Count: 1.2K

Summary: Revealing your Halloween costume has Angel feeling a type of way 😈😇

A/N: Angel is up next and he’s impatient when it comes to surprises FYI. We’ve had this one written for awhile and it’s what essentially inspired our sucia fluff fest. We hope you guys like it! Enjoy and share with your fellow sucias! Feedback is the preferred drug for our addiction and greatly appreciated. 💖💖

**We’ve added a smutty part 2! Check it out here.

(Gif credit to the talented @angels-reyes​)

You adjusted the headband on your head, the halo attached to it wiggling with the movements. You could hear Angel getting restless in the bedroom, your promise of almost being done a blatant lie the longer the minutes ticked by.

You were putting the finishing touches on your costume. It was a surprise for your boyfriend. You’d been able to keep the secret for weeks, telling him you’d rather reveal the costume on the night of the MC’s Halloween party. He’d been bugging you about it constantly since, but you hadn’t budged.

Tonight his patience was running thin.

“Baby, come on! We’re gonna be late.” He called from behind the door of the en suite bathroom.

“Okay, I’m done!” You yelled back, giving yourself a final once over before stepping towards the bedroom.

You opened the door to see Angel seated on the end of the bed, phone in hand and eyes trained on the screen. His fingers were typing furiously, his attention fully captured by whoever was texting him.

“Yo, EZ says Gilly definitely showed up in the dress. I knew he wouldn’t back down from a bet.” Angel said with a laugh and shake of his head.

A few weeks ago Angel had come home to say Gilly had lost an undisclosed bet between the guys and the payment was to dress as a woman to the Halloween party. He’d been doubtful the man would even do it. Apparently he’d come through.

“Well, that should be fun to see.” You quipped as you stepped into the bedroom, moving towards Angel.

His fingers finally stopped moving as he pocketed his phone and took you in. His dark eyes scanned your figure, clad in a white babydoll dress, angel wings, and white platform heels. Your makeup was overdone, the silver and white glitter around your eyes making you look ethereal. The halo atop your head was the final touch.

Angel’s gaze never faltered as he stood and met you in the center of the room. You wore a smug smile as he licked his lips and pulled you to him, hands attaching to your hips and clinging to the delicate chiffon of your dress. Your palms rested against the leather of his kutte, feeling the firmness of his chest beneath you.

“You like it?” You dared to ask, knowing the question was futile. The answer was in his eyes.

His fingers gripped at your flesh, his body pressing into yours as his stare shifted to the hefty amount of cleavage the lace bodice displayed. A sheen of highlighter trailed along your collarbone and décolletage, instinctively pulling the human eye to the area.

“Like doesn’t even begin to cover it, mama. Shit…” He rasped as he blatantly ogled you.

Your body responded with a shiver.

“Thought I’d go as your angel for Halloween. Cheesy, right?” You prompted with a scrunch of your nose. Your arms encircled his neck, playing with the longer strands of hair that rested there.

“I don’t care how cheesy it is. You look fine as fuck.” His eyes roamed your body once again, his fingers playing with the hem of your short dress.

“It’s our first Halloween together and I wanted to do something special.” You explained unnecessarily, feeling bashful under his intense study of you.

“Baby,” He started, stepping back to twirl you, getting a full view of your costume. “This is the fucking nicest...hottest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” He boasted, his bearded lips breaking out into a pleased smirk.

“Really?” You asked in disbelief, an eyebrow raised in doubt as he pressed your body against his.

His hands slid down your curves to grasp at your ass, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. The look in his eyes quickly shifted from innocent playfulness to desire-fueled hunger.

“Really.” He confirmed as he bent down to pepper kisses to your exposed neck. “Don’t even wanna go to this party anymore.” He confessed against your flesh, his hot breath fanning across your skin in quick pants.

You got lost in the feel of him, recognizing the shift in his hips as he brushed them along your body. There was excitement in his actions; a need to become as close to you as possible. It was a need you felt within yourself as well, his touch fanning the flames.

“We’re going, Angel. I got all dressed up.” You insisted breathily, feeling his teeth graze the column of your neck. The motion caused your eyes to roll into the back of your head, the faux lashes you wore fluttering with the movement.

“When we get home then? You’ll let me fuck you with those wings and halo on?” He baited, tongue licking a sensuous path along your neck and up to your ear.

You whimpered at his words, the prospect of letting him do as he pleased causing your thighs to squeeze together and your insides to warm.

“Yeah…” You replied, biting your lip as he rocked his pelvis into yours. “Maybe I’ll let you do that while we’re at the party.” You teased, hearing him growl in response.

“Fuck…”

He continued to explore, his hands running the length of your body. His mouth eagerly consumed you and you let him. Let him push you so close to the edge that you nearly caved and let him take you to bed.

The vibrating text tone of his cell phone interrupted the moment.

“We should go, baby.” You urged, attempting to reel the situation back to its neglected path.

Angel pulled away with a sigh, patting your ass as he did. “We aren’t staying long.” He said sternly, the seriousness in his expression almost comical.

“Whatever you say.” You said with a laugh, belatedly taking in his own outfit. “Where’s your costume?”

“Right here.” He turned to grab something off the dresser, lifting the unknown item to set it carefully on top of his inky locks.

“How’d you know?” You asked in surprise as he adjusted the set of red horns on his head.

“I didn’t. Just easy.” He said with a shrug of his shoulders. It was just like a man to throw on an accessory and call it a costume.

“We make quite a pair.” You mused, helping him with the headband. The red flannel shirt he wore was a perfect compliment to the horns, the devilish smirk he wore an even better addition.

He was sin personified.

“Sure do.”

He pulled you into a kiss, stealing your breath as his tongue tangled with yours. His hands cradled your cheeks, careful of the makeup you’d applied. Your own threaded through his beard, pulling gently at the hair when he began to nibble at your lips.

You separated when air became an issue.

“Come on,” He started, pulling you by the hand and towards the open bedroom door. “The sooner we get there, the sooner you’ll let me slip my way into heaven.”

He winked at you, making you melt into your white lace panties. The man made filthy thoughts rush through your mind, your costume a complete farce as temptation lured you into its grasp.

You may be Angel’s angel for the night, but you prayed he made good on his ungodly promise.

Sucia Tag List:

@marvelmaree

@visintaes

@otomefromtheheart

@aquarius-smr-writing

@glimmerglittergirl

@arveeee

@fangirlingaesthetics

@maciiiofficial

@woahitslucyylu

@angelreyesgirl

@ifoundmyhappythought

@mheart27

@collegegirl83

@luna8819

@enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat

@everyhowlmarksthedead

@whatupitshuff

@noz4a2

@thesandbeneathmytoes

@minnicelli

@claytoncardenasbabymama

@brattyfics

@starrynite7114

@losolvidad0s

@prdsdjarin

@pearlkitten33

@iambabyharry

@spnaquakindgdom

@gemini0410

@lakamaa12

@destynelseclipsa

@mayans-sauce

@dandywinchesterbras

@basickassandra​

@krysiewithak​

[makeste]

this is pretty random and you don't need to answer it, haha, but could you share your personal hcs regarding platonic todobaku with me??? 🥺🥺🥺 i'm in need, LOL, and your takes on characterization and relationships on bnha are always so spot on, so... i hope you're having a good day/night!!!!!!!💖💖💖

thank you so much! sorry it took a while to gather all of these; my TodoBaku headcanons weren’t as immediately forthcoming as my general Baku headcanons were. but here goes. the first half of these ended up being more just my general thoughts about their relationship than actual headcanons, but I eventually steered myself back on track.

first of all, this is important to note: when Katsuki says in ch. 241 that “there’s no correlation between time spent [together] and friendship”, it’s not purely out of denial. this is something he genuinely believes, having learned it the hard way growing up. for someone who seemingly led a pretty charmed life for most of his childhood, Katsuki hasn’t actually had a particularly sunshiny experience when it comes to his friendships. all of his closest childhood friends eventually left him (Tsubasa), turned on him (Deku -- from his perspective lol. obviously this wasn’t actually the case at all, but it’s how he interpreted it, and it definitely had a big impact on him emotionally), or abandoned him (that long-fingered kid, who notably fled and never looked back when the sludge monster tried to eat Katsuki back in chapter one. like, thanks for nothing, my dude).

so it’s not surprising that all of these experiences would have a profound impact on Katsuki’s ability to trust other people and accept them as real, genuine friends. in its own way his childhood was almost as isolating as Deku and Shouto’s. it’s only since coming to U.A. that he’s started to make real friends again for the first time since kindergarten. and even then, in the case of Kirishima and Kaminari and Sero, even though I think he does consider them friends, he still isn’t very open with them. because he’s learned the hard way that that can lead to hurt, and I think he’s very hesitant to ever let himself be vulnerable to that again.

but having said all that, Shouto is still absolutely correct when he says that they’re friends. and the thing is Katsuki knows it too, but he’s just reluctant to admit it. partly because the part of his brain that processes everything as rivalry isn’t sure whether Being Friends With Shouto = Losing To Shouto (IS THIS A TRAP??), and partly because of everything else I just explained above. even though by this point he knows Shouto pretty well, well enough to be reasonably sure he’s not just gonna be another fakeass groupie who turns tail at the first sign of trouble, there’s still a part of him that’s hesitant to admit that connection is there, because doing so opens him up to potentially being hurt again at some point. goddammit. why is this shit so complicated.

meanwhile on Shouto’s side of things, this poor lil bubba never had any friends growing up to begin with, so he’s not nearly as paranoid or prickly as Katsuki is. instead, he’s still discovering for himself just what friendship is all about. the interesting thing about Shouto is that since he never had any childhood friendships, in a way, the friendships that he’s making now at U.A. are his childhood friendships. and so they tend to be straightforward and uncomplicated in much the same way that very young children’s friendships are uncomplicated. “I like this person; I am going to make them my friend.” boom. done. friendship is mad easy yo.

and he does like Katsuki! sure, his personality is a bit unconventional, but there’s a lot to admire about him even so, and they actually have a lot in common! they’re both rather introverted. they’re both very serious, and I think this is something that Shouto particularly appreciates, because jokes and idioms and playful insincerity sometimes fly over his head just because he doesn’t have a lot of experience dealing with other people. but Katsuki NEVER jokes around, and he is never insincere. he says what he means, with the exception of insults, which are 90% more bark than bite. and so once Shouto figured that out, it became very easy to figure out how to interact with him. aside from that, they’re both close with Shouto’s Other Best Friend Midoriya, they both have incendiary quirks, and they both tend towards the quiet side (yes, even Katsuki) with the occasional burst of hotheadedness (maybe a bit more than “occasional” when it comes to Katsuki’s end).

and like I said, there’s a lot that Shouto admires about Katsuki as well. he really respects how determined Katsuki is, because he himself lacked any sort of clear goals for quite a while growing up. all he knew was that he didn’t want to end up being like his dad. but Katsuki is someone who has always known what he wants, and he goes after it with a singlemindedness that Shouto is almost envious of. he’s also very intelligent and quick-thinking, and Shouto knows he can rely on him in a tight spot. he’s also honest, and surprisingly principled, and while he’s definitely not the nicest guy around, I think Shouto can recognize to some degree those same types of walls that he once spent so much time building up around himself. and so he knows that to a certain extent, Katsuki’s hostility is just a front. and I think he’s both intrigued by that, and drawn to it. because every so often when Katsuki’s guard does drop and his better self briefly shines through, Shouto can see that he’s someone worth getting to know.

anyways, but enough of my rambling about their relationship, and on to the actual headcanons. first of all, I firmly believe in my heart of hearts that at some point during all of those mentally and physically taxing weekends spent training for their provisional exam, they have each fallen asleep on the other’s shoulder during the ride home. Katsuki was actually the first to do it, and it was only for a couple of minutes, but when he woke up he was absolutely mortified. but much to his relief, Shouto never said another word about it. (and if Shouto still remembers the warm, cozy feeling in his chest during those few brief minutes when Katsuki was dead to the world, with his face smoothed out and completely trusting and his breathing strangely in rhythm with the movement of the car, and if doing so brings him a sense of calm that’s hard to describe, well then, that’s no one’s business but his own.)

anyway, so because life is Just Like That, eventually of course the reverse happened. and with anyone else, Katsuki would have violently shoved them aside without a second thought, and he was almost gonna do the same here, but then he remembered he owed him (because he really did keep his mouth shut about the earlier incident, thank fuck), and so he didn’t. for almost two whole minutes, anyway. whatever. that’s more than generous, really. meanwhile no one else knows about this except for Aizawa, who was chaperoning them that day, and took mild notice at first on account of it being unusual behavior on Katsuki’s part, but then immediately forgot about it afterwards. he was proud of them both for upping their napping game, though. he respects naps.

both Shouto and Katsuki were actually scared shitless during the test of courage at the forest training camp, and if Katsuki hadn’t been kidnapped and everything had instead gone on as normal, they would have both had trouble getting to sleep that night. Katsuki actually can’t stand scary movies or ghost stories (fyi this is canon according to the third light novel, and EXCUSE HIM FOR HAVING A HEALTHY RESPECT FOR THE SUPERNATURAL. you wanna go and get your own dumb ass cursed or dragged to hell or whatever, BE HIS GUEST). whereas Shouto has next to no experience with them and doesn’t really see what’s so scary about ghosts because GHOSTS AREN’T REAL DUH, but even he feels a little unsettled when an undead swamp girl suddenly rises from the depths and crabwalks towards them in the middle of the woods.

Katsuki has on rare occasions been so drained by provisional lessons that he goes into autopilot and forgets to pretend not to be friends with Shouto, which can result in them having completely normal conversations for minutes at a time before he eventually regains enough of his senses to realize he’s fraternizing with the enemy. this is how Shouto learned about things like Katsuki’s favorite foods, and his love of hiking. the latter is actually one subject that Katsuki can go on and on about if you get him started, and Shouto very much enjoys hearing about it and never tries to stop him.

by contrast, Katsuki never intentionally seeks to gain any new knowledge about Shouto because he feels like he already knows way more than he ever wanted to. however, this doesn’t stop him from absorbing knowledge against his will by simple osmosis, and then discovering to his dismay that he’s retained the information afterward. this is why he also knows Shouto’s favorite food in return (although to be fair, I think everyone in Japan knows Shouto’s favorite food), as well as other tidbits like the fact that he likes strawberry-flavored things (because he always gets the same brand of strawberry milk from the vending machine during their lunch breaks). he hates himself a little for both noticing and remembering these stupid little details, and would rather be kidnapped again than ever admit to Shouto that he does.

Katsuki thinks of Shouto as “Todoroki” in his head rather than “IcyHot” or “Half n’ Half”, and has to make a conscious effort to use the nicknames whenever he addresses him out loud. more and more often he finds himself forgetting to do so nowadays, much to his dismay. Shouto was pleasantly surprised the first few times it happened, but quickly stopped taking notice of it, as he’s come to realize that the way Katsuki addresses people carries very little meaning regardless, since something like 75% of his actual feelings are conveyed through his actions rather than his words.

Katsuki does wish that Shouto had had the decency to choose his surname as his hero alias rather than his given name, though. he lives in fear that one of these days he’ll be required to call him “Shouto” while on duty. number one hero or not, there’s a good chance he would resign from his internship at the Endeavor Hero Agency before he ever willingly agreed to that.

and last but not least, the number one thing that Katsuki would rather jump in a freezing lake than admit to Shouto or even himself is that he actually cares about him too. and has even mostly forgiven him for wussing out at the last minute during the sports festival. he still doesn’t fully understand why he did it, but he gets that Shouto was Going Through Some Stuff, and okay yeah, he can admit that his family situation is pretty fucked up, so whatever. there’s an uncomfortable feeling he gets whenever he’s reminded of this; sort of a weird, squirmy feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever the subject of Endeavor comes up, or whenever he sees Shouto talking to the man himself. it makes him feel restless and on edge, and he never knows what to say or do afterwards, especially if Shouto goes all quiet and sullen and reflective. he wants to scream at him, or slap him on the back of the head, or grab him by the shoulders and shake him; whatever it takes to snap him out of it and ease the tension. but he knows that’s not the right way to handle it. and more to the point, he knows that he’s not the right person to handle it. and sometimes, if he’s not quick enough to squash the feeling when he senses it coming, he wonders how Shouto would react if he ever found out what Katsuki used to be like back in elementary and middle school. and he wonders whether Shouto would still be so dead-set insistent on calling them friends. and then he does squash out the thought, as viciously as he possibly can.

anyway so that turned weirdly angsty towards the end whoops. not even sure what happened there, since this is supposed to be my cute and funny ship, while BakuDeku greedily hogs all the angst for itself! lol my bad. but don’t worry, they still love each other, and Shouto is still fond and soft and equipped with bullshit-radar, and Katsuki is still rabid and in denial and a dumbass.

[storiesforallfandoms]

staying the night ~ machine gun kelly

part one   part two   part three

word count: 1678

request?: no

description: things get a bit less friendly and a bit more flirty when you invite colson to stay for the night.

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, gonna be fluffy just an FYI

The moment Colson stepped into your apartment, you started feeling self conscious. Your apartment wasn’t the biggest, obviously, and it wasn’t super luxurious. You had the basics, a kitchen with kitchen stuff, a couch, a TV, a bed and a dresser. You had enough food to suffice you and the basic clothes you needed. You never thought you’d have a reason to feel self conscious over the place, but having a famous rapper that wasn’t your father definitely gave you a reason.

“Nice place,” Colson said, and it sounded like he genuinely meant it. “No animals?”

“I have a hamster,” you responded. “His name’s Korg. I wanted a cat, but my landlord allow me to have any big animals that would have to be left out while I’m gone away.”

“That sucks.” He followed you into your living room and sat himself down on your couch. He looked up at you, as if asking for permission to turn on your TV. You smiled and nodded, turning back to the kitchen to go to the fridge.

“You want a beer?” you called.

“Sure, I’m not driving.” You took out two beers, popped the tops off them, and brought one out to Colson. “I’m gonna go take my makeup off and probably put on some pajamas. Make yourself at home, I’m literally in that room there.”

You kept the door open as you took a makeup removing wipe and started vigorously washing your face. You cursed makeup removing wipes, they were supposed to make it easy to take makeup off and was supposed to leave nothing left behind, but it took you at least two wipes to get your mascara on and they always left you looking like a racoon no matter how hard you scrubbed.

“How was your dinner?” Colson asked when you finally managed to wipe the last of the dark mascara smudges off. You responded with a groan, causing Colson to laugh. “That bad?”

“Well, let’s just saying I’m not talking to Alaina,” you responded, moving to your bedroom to change into your pajamas. You decided on a simple pair of fluffy pants and a tank top, opting to keep your bra on for the time being. “She told dad I was texting some secret guy and now dad thinks I’m seeing someone. I wouldn’t have been so pissed if she mentioned it to me beforehand, but she decided to wait until we were in front of dad to say anything.”

You rolled your eyes at yourself again, still slightly angry with your sister.

You walked out into your living room again, sitting next to Colson on the couch and taking another swig of your beer. You looked over to see Colson looking at you, smiling. You felt your cheeks heat up as you just giggled. “What?”

“Nothing, you look cute looking all casual like that,” he responded. You couldn’t help but smile wider at that. God, what was he doing to you? You had never felt this warm and fuzzy about a guy before. “So...was there anything said about me?”

This soured your mood a little bit as it made you feel like that’s all Colson cared about. “What, like whether or not dad is going to drop a response to your diss track so you can one up him?”

“Well...no,” he said. “In full honesty, I don’t care if you dad makes a song about me. If he does, it’s whatever, I’ll take that L. I’m ready to drop this beef. The last thing I want is for you to get in the middle of this.”

You look up at Colson again. “Really?”

Colson gave you a confused look with a slight smile. “What do you mean really? Of course, I don’t want any of this to come back on you. That’s not fair to you. I know I’ll probably never be cool with your dad, or with Hailie, but I’m willing to put all of this aside if it means you’re not being torn between them and me.”

You had to take another swig of the beer to hide the tears forming in your eyes, but it was hard to swallow when you had a lump forming in your throat. Honestly, it was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to you because it was so genuine. No one had ever said nice things to you just to be nice. They mainly said it to get in good with you to try and meet your dad. You learned to shut down nice comments that had come from your peers in fear of letting someone in just for them to use you like everyone else.

But you knew Colson meant it. He had nothing to gain by being nice to you. It wasn’t like he was looking to meet your dad or anything, especially not right now when he’d probably be knocked on his ass by the older rapper. The fact that after only a few weeks, he genuinely cared this much about you really touched your heart. You weren’t quite sure what else to say, so you both just sat in silence besides the sound of whatever was on TV.

As time went on, you both continued to drink whatever was in your fridge and before you knew it, you were both extremely tipsy, nearing on drunk. Somehow, you found yourself wrapped in Colson’s arms as you cuddled into your side. For some reason, you both started to play Never Have I Ever, extremely hard to play with just two people, but you were both the right level of drunk to not give a fuck.

“Okay,” Colson slurred at one point. “Never have I ever been kissed.”

Realizing he got himself out, he drunkenly chuckled and took a sip of his own beer. When you didn’t take a sip of your drink, Colson pulled away from you to look at you with shock.

“Wait, you didn’t drink. Have you never been kissed?” he asked.

You shook your head. “No, I haven’t even had a boyfriend before.” You leaned in and whispered dramatically, “I’m even still a virgin.”

Colson chuckled slightly, but then became serious again. “Are you serious? You’re fucking drop dead gorgeous, how would no guy want to hit you up?”

“Because who the fuck wants to date the daughter of a rapper who’s literally known for threatening people who even talk bad about said daughter, let alone what he’d do to the boyfriend of one,” you responded. “It either went two ways, guys asked me out just to get to dad, or they were afraid of me because of dad. Everyone always thinks that being the daughter of someone famous must be amazing, but it's a goddamn curse if you ask me.”

Colson just looked at you for a long time while you took another sip of you beer, dramatically whining and placing it with the other empty bottles upon realizing you had drained it of its contents. Colson placed his bottle on the table beside yours and, before you could register what he was doing, cupped your face and pulled you to him. When your lips collided with his, you almost tried to pull away in shock, but within seconds you were relaxing into the kiss.

It only lasted maybe a second and he was pulling away again, his usual dopey smile on his face as he looked at you.

“Well, there you go. Your first kiss,” he said.

Your cheeks heated up and you quickly sat back on your legs.

“You’re not helping me with the virgin thing,” you told him. He started laughing, and so did you. But the truth was, you really did want Colson, both intimately and romantically. And that kiss just made your desire for him grew.

Being bold yet again, you rested your head against his shoulder. “I’m tired, you wanna stay the night?”

“I don’t think I could leave even if I wanted to,” Colson responded. “Everything is spinning.”

“Good, then you’re staying here,” you said with a nod. “My bed...it’s pretty big if you wanna share it.”

You didn’t think he would agree, but then his shoulder lifted under your head as he shrugged. “Sure, I don’t mind.”

Your heart raced and you felt yourself rise to your feet. Colson stood beside you and followed you to your bedroom. As you pulled back the covers to climb into bed, Colson pulled off his hoodie, leaving his tattooed torso bare. You couldn’t help but look at him, just for a moment, before quickly looking away, hoping he didn’t notice you looking.

The both of you got into your bed and laid on opposite sides. You laid with your back to him so that he wouldn’t see you still awake. Truthfully, you didn’t know if you’d be able to sleep. You couldn’t believe that Colson was lying next to you! The whole night just felt like a dream. You were afraid that if you closed your eyes you’d wake up and Colson would be gone.

At some point after having been laid there for so long, Colson whispered, “Hey (Y/N)?”

You hesitated to answer, but seeing as he was still awake you decided to respond. “Yeah Colson?”

“I can’t sleep,” he responded, plainly. “Would it be out of line to ask if like...I could hold you for a while until I fell asleep.”

And the night was just getting better!

Trying to act nonchalant, you rolled onto your other side to face Colson, who was still laying on his back. You moved slowly towards him until you were so close you were touching him. He moved one arm to wrap it around you, pulling you closer so your head was on his chest. You relaxed into him, wrapping your own arm around his torso to hug him close.

You were both silent again. Within moments you could feel Colson’s breathing becoming heavier, and he was asleep. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you soon drifted to sleep yourself.

Tags: @littlewhiterose @creatureofthen1ght-v3 @arugula-pigeon @keithseabrook27 @xxkellsvixen19xx @sacvf @helenevary @britshmgkstan @hnbtx

If you’d like to be tagged in future parts let me know!

[what2watch2night]

THE DISASTER ARTIST: The Entertainingly Sad Yet Inspiring Story of Not Making It in Hollywood...

THE DISASTER ARTIST is definitely one of the nicest surprise of the year by being possibly one of the most hilarious movie of 2017 while, at the same time, being a troubling and shockingly sad story inspired by true event (or almost relating the real event 99.9% accurately!) AND real people!

It is also quite surprising as movie pundit, culture/pop-culture expert, cinephile,  and "people who get to know about the whole story!"  can witness the parallel between the movie, the movie is based on (THE ROOM), from being labeled "the worse movie ever made" to becoming a cult classic; and THE DISASTER ARTIST from being seen at "yet another James Franco & Co. weird-niche comedy" to be considered a serious award-contender. And to add another layer to the "bizare-ness galore" while Tommy Wiseau (the original actor and director of THE ROOM) never managed to get the recognition he wanted so bad as an artist, James Franco (playing Wiseau on/off screen in the film) is not only hyped as possibly one of the best actor in a movie this year, but many are talking about him getting a well (finally) deserved director nod! Ain't that mind-blowing ;)

James Franco, the widely known as multi-hyphenate actor/director/producer/artist/professor/student/cinephile/critics/weirdo/and more...  for better or worse, who accumulated throughout his dense career tons of- rightfully so- admirers, fans...and hater (cuz ‘haters gonna hate and ainters gonna aint’!)  is nonetheless one of the most admirable person in the business, and with this passion project he might have finally achieved consensus with critics, viewers, fans and skeptical alike.

So, despite the allure of the trailer and the fun idea of the project THE DISASTER ARTIST is a must-see movie of the year for various interesting, unbelievable, amusing yet sad, self-contradictory and simply mind-blowing reasons.

Here are just five good reasons to watch it (and some gifs!):  

1. Watch it because it is very "meta".

Like mention before, THE DISASTER ARTIST is a passion project about a passion project where you get to see an actor/director portraying another actor/director. It is also one of the very rare almost homage movie where scenes of the original got recreated frame by frame to the T! It is actually an incredible thing to see.

2. Watch it because: Oscar Buzz...

And rightfully so! When it was asserted that last year winner MOONLIGHT was a breath of fresh air and an astonishing victory for being one of the most unconventional-Academy-type nominee let alone winner it nonetheless might have fitted a certain prestige genre because of the seriousness and poetical aspect of the story it pictured, and in fact, despite what argued, it might have more in common in style and substance with its runner-up LA LA LAND than THE DISASTER ARTIST although the latest two revolve around the same subject; being a recognized artist/fame/ Hollywood... Comparison to any thing aside THE DISASTER ARTIST is a very strange movie in itself as it doesn't fit any mold making it the alien of this award-season. 

*ALSO FYI BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY AND ENSEMBLE Y'ALL!

3. Watch it because it is an incredibly true and familiar story about the bittersweet reality about realizing our dreams for better...Or worse ;( 

This story about a misunderstood character such as that Tommy Wiseau who is almost the abused and abuser of his life will make you feel a lot more emphatic toward him or the idea he represent. He represent everyone who tried to make it in Hollywood doing the best ( but not necessary the best) with high hope and maybe too much naivete and that sadly did not succeed...This "failure" can be quite fatal as the story of Hollywood (and the Hollywood sign itself) can witness, and the film captured this dark disillusionment in a quite stark yet subtle way, which is also one of the reason why this film is actually brilliant in its near "realistic" approach ( taking into consideration the "reality of the character"!). In addition it is also these more emotional part or the film that might make many in the biz relate to an otherwise "shady" character. 

On the other hand, having all the characters based on real person, make the movie a veracious account of what can possibly go on in everybody's head when confronted to many of the unfortunate (and bonkers!) situations such as the one that happened during the making of THE ROOM or in the industry in general. And so, when, again, whether you care or not about the character, you will be able to relate to what they go through or at least be as clueless and unsure about things as they are!

THE DISASTER ARTIST is also putting its finger on many hot topics while showcasing the harsh reality of filmmaking, including few very relevant-to-now scenes especially when it came to shooting nude or sensitive scenes and the pressure put on female (and male) actors in regards to their physique and what their limits out of their comfort zone ( or while being somehow bullied and forced).

At the end of the day  THE DISASTER ARTIST might very well be an Anti-LA LA LAND but it definitely shares some very specific bits with especially the lyrics of this song: ‘Here's to the fools who dream Crazy as they may seem.’ !

4. Watch it because It is very entertaining and hit all the right note.

Despite all this sadness surrounding the subject this movie is another Franco/Rogen movie surrounded by their movie buddy so you know you're in for some jokes or two. Nevertheless the movie doesn't need the usual shticks and forced situation as its subject is already way out there!

5. Watch it because Franco the weirdo ... being weird for the greater good!

We said it before and there is no way to say it otherwise, THE DISASTER ARTIST is indeed a strange movie about an even stranger man...So it might be right up Franco alley who has never been shy of stranger things! It might not have always been a success but some claims this movie to be his 'redemption project' (as in the billions other projects he had where too experimental or not so conventional or too indie or too weird for most! And acting-wise he did a major buzz since the underappreciated... SPRING BREAKER

Let’s talk about range y’all! But seriously if this wasn’t an award winning exhibit it will be hard to ever do better...Well now we got THE DISASTER ARTIST), while other -like us!- are finally happy to see the "whole world" finally getting it right!

MORAL OF THE STORY: By now most are aware of all the buzz THE DISASTER ARTIST have generated since its gestation, but still, whatever one think this movie is ... it is so much more!

It might make you feel a bit depressed and/or uncomfortable at a time, it might definitely make you laugh or at least smile half the time, and it will -whether you want it or not!- make you feel like you were there, so one thing for sure you have to see it to believe it! So go watch it ;)

[jesbakescookies]

Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Twenty Two

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others.. (FYI this is total fiction, as in I know nothing about JDMs life or that of his real SO and son etc. Because of this, for this work of fiction, they don’t exist. Jeffrey’s been a typical actor playboy dating fellow stars etc. This is written for sick daydreaming pleasure.)

Aria St. James is a busy woman with a thriving restaurant. She thought she had everything she needed until a few famous faces visit her dining room. A tall, dark and handsome actor decides Aria’s just what he’s been looking for.

Rating: Mature : NSFW **dirty dirty**

Aria stood inside the department store dressing room trying on a few dresses for Megan's party. The slinky black dress was gorgeous but way too sexy for the engagement party. She could see Jeffrey enjoying it though, so she set it aside to buy for a different occasion. She found a blue satin dress with pretty black lace edges, that hugged all her curves and wasn't too revealing for a party at Megan's high strung mother's home. Taking a picture of herself in it, she sent it to Megan with a question mark. 

"Looks hot!" Her friend replied as well as a bunch of flame emojis. "Jeff will total propose to you when you wear it."

"Fuck off." Aria texted back, a smirk curling her lips and a flutter filling her chest. She wouldn't admit it but the idea of Jeffrey proposing to her was exciting. Aria wanted him to, even though they'd only been together half a year. Maybe she was getting soft but the idea of calling him, her husband, stoked a fire in her guts. She wanted it, she wanted him and she wanted him to claim her.  

“Don't lie. You want him too just as bad as I do.” ~Megan

“You're way to invested in this supposed proposal.” ~Aria

“No such thing and we both know you're just as excited as I am.” ~Megan

“Fine. Okay. The idea is… nice.” Aria hit send but scoffed at her wording. It wasn't nice, it was fucking awesome. 

“Nice? Jesus, we need to get you a thesaurus. Try fucking amazeballs on for size.” ~Megan

“I don't think that's a real word.” ~Aria

“Shut your mouth and buy the goddamn dress. Make sure you have something sexy for underneath because after you say yes, that fuckhot man is going to take you hard and fast. I just know it.” ~Megan

“Jesus. Stop thinking about my boyfriend like that.” ~Aria

“Are fucking kidding me? I've been thinking about your boyfriend like that ever since Grey’s and I'm not stopping now!” ~Megan

“Ugh fine but I don't wanna hear about it.” ~Ari

“Fine.” ~Megan

“Fine.” ~Aria 

“:-P” ~Megan 

“:-P” ~Aria

Aria arrived at the restaurant after dealing with the bank deposit and found a few photographers hanging around. Sighing deeply, she checked her reflection in the mirror before exiting the car. She kept her sunglasses down and she approached them with a smile. "Hi guys." Aria greeted, smiling despite the desire to tell them all to get a life. She just didn't understand the draw of photographs of her walking across a parking lot. "Aria, where's Jeffrey this morning?" Laughing lightly, she replied, "Probably sleeping in!" "Aria what's your reaction to all the chatter between fans. There are some who dislike your relationship with Jeffrey." "To each their own. Me and Jeff are happy and that's all that matters to us." "How did you react when they called you the Yoko of the Walking Dead?" Snorting, Aria smiled and replied, "I thought it was clever. Look guys, we're just normal people living our lives together. Jeff and I love each other, what the internet thinks of us doesn't really matter. Now I've got a lot to do, so thanks for coming out." Sliding into the door before locking it behind her, Aria huffed out a irritated breath and strode to her office. "Fucking Yoko of the Walking Dead." She scoffed angrily. "Bunch of little jealous bitches."

"I'm sorry." Cheryl exclaimed before clapping her hand over her mouth as though trying to stop the words but too late. "What happened?" "There's these girls at table fifteen and they were talking shit about you." "About me? They didn't like their meals?" "No! About you and you being with Jeff." "Oh." Aria mumbled before asking slowly, "What did you do?" Cheryl shook her head as though refusing to say. "Cheryl how bad am I going to have to grovel?" "I told them to stick their opinions up their fat, skank asses." She confessed quickly before biting her lip painfully. Aria tilted her face to the ceiling and asked the dark metal surface why life hated her so much. Taking in a slow deep breath she started rattling off her to-do's. 

"Okay so I need to give Jeff a heads up because I'm sure this is all over Twitter or some other fucking popular bullshit site, he'll probably call his publicist who will hate my guts because I'm some no name asshole causing Jeff trouble, when he should date some starlet who knows how to be famous. Meanwhile I need to go apologize to these customers for... I don't know, being alive, while swallowing my pride and soul, one tiny piece at a time, like broken glass dipped in alcohol." 

When she was done, Aria found that everything in the kitchen had stopped. Looking around at them she realized she had spoken every word out loud. Blinking a few times she felt a weight lift as she decided what she was going to do. 

"I'm not going to do this anymore." She announced. "I'm done doing this."

"What? Ari no!" Cheryl exclaimed.

"No really its over. I'm done being this person."

"Fuck, Ari don't do it. You can't break up with Jeff. He's amazing!" Javier urged, his eyes wide as she stared back blankly. 

"Break up with Jeff? What the fuck? No! No..." she scoffed shaking her while taking her apron off and unbuttoning her chef coat. "No. I'm done playing this game."

"What're you gonna do?"

"I don't know yet but I'm going out there and we'll see what comes out of my mouth but I'm not apologizing for being in love with a man who loves me back. What we have is fucking real and what everyone else thinks doesn't matter but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. So that stops now. I'm done feeling hurt." Swallowing thickly, she combed her hair with her fingers and asked Cheryl, "Gloss?"

The blonde handed it over instantly, the woman's eyes filled with regret. "It's okay, Cher. I'm not mad. I'm... I don't know. It was rude of you to say that but I understand.. thanks for sticking up for me."

Without waiting for a reply, Aria strode out onto the floor. She found the table near the center of the dining room and realized that whatever was about to happen, would be in front of every other customer in the restaurant.

"Fuck." She muttered under her breath. 

Coming to a stop at the table, she smiled politely and greeted them, "Hello ladies. I heard there was an... unfortunate incident."

"Your waitress is a bitch." A girl snapped, her eyes narrowed and lips smirked. "I mean, I guess it makes sense. She works for you."

Aria clenched her jaw but kept a smile on her lips. She gestured to a chair at the next table and asked the other patron nicely, "Would you mind terribly if I used this chair, sir?"

"No, of course not." The older gentleman replied, "and I have to tell you, this is the best pasta I've had since our honeymoon in Italy."

Smiling widely, Aria replied, "Thank you very much. I actually backpacked through Italy. I learned that technique, the curl, from a skinny little Italian who had to be in his nineties. Francis Francisco, if you can believe it."

The man chuckled and patted his wife's hand. "Well thank you. It took us back." "You're welcome. Thanks for coming in." She answered before pulling the chair over to the table of young women. 

"So, look. I appreciate that you're fans of Jeff's. Believe me, I understand it. He's an amazing actor, a great person, nicest man I've ever known. And I mean look at him." She trailed off with a chuckle and a genuine smile. "I get it and I appreciate the enthusiasm. Back in the day I loved Christian Slater, no joke. I wanted to marry him and have his babies. I was obsessed with him, knew everything, anyone could know."

Looking over the women watching her with narrowed eyes, "I think what gets lost is that stars are all real people. I mean they're on your tvs, your laptops, your cellphones. You can pay money to meet them, talk to them, take photos with them. Famous people are so available to be fawned over that it starts to feel like you know them. You know how they feel, what they think, what they like and that's all well and good but they're real people. They've got families, friends, spouses."

The women shifted in their seat, the ring leader looking less moved by the words but still regretful. 

"I get by having them so ingrained in your lives you become protective and invested in what they do and who they see but I mean this world is filled with such tragedies and hardships. We've all been through shit, so why would you ever wanna stop two people from being happy together? I mean it's pretty rare and me and Jeff are just two people who were lucky enough to find each other."

"I get that you don't like me." Shrugging her shoulders Aria looked them over and said, "But I'm no better or worse than any of you. I'm a high school drop out from a trailer park in nowhere, Nevada who worked her way up by tooth and nail. I spent my teens up into my twenties pretty much homeless, washing dishes and mopping floors to feed myself while sleeping on park benches and under bridges. Everything I have today, I've worked myself to the bone for but I'm just a person like any of you."

She looked them over seeing chewed lips and wide eyes. Aria was beginning to understand that they were expecting something completely different, a confrontation rather than a peaceful discussion.  "All I'm asking is that you give us the respect and privacy that you feel you deserve. Now, I apologize for what your waitress said. It was inappropriate and she'll be reprimanded for it. I don't take customer complaints lightly. So dinner is on the house this evening and you're welcome back anytime."

Smiling at them, she stood up and without waiting for a reply, returned the chair to the table behind her, giving the man a nod. "You two have a good evening. Get the tiramisu, another recipe from Francis. You'll love it."

Jeffrey had just sat down to get changed out of his Neganware after a photo shoot, when his phone blew up. He had text messages and notifications popping up while it rang. Seeing his publicist calling, Jeffrey answered but before he could get a word out she said, "We've got another situation."

"What now?"

"Your girl went rogue."

Chuckling, he asked, "what'd she do? She didn't hit anyone did she?"

"No but she confronted a table full of fans."

"Shit." He sat forward, pressing his elbows into his knees. "What happened? Is she okay?"

"Apparently there was a confrontation between the fans and one of her waitresses. It's all over Twitter and Tumblr. Aria then came out and sat with them. There's a video. Truthfully... I don't know if I could've done it better." Jeffrey smirked and asked, "What'd she say?"

"You should just watch it. I'm sure someone's sent it to you. You're girl is very well spoken Jeffrey. I'm I'mpressed.��

"Alright. I'll call you back."

Thumbing through the countless messages, Jeffrey found the link to the posted video. He watched as someone set their phone up to record the conversation, they'd obviously planned whatever was about to happen. He smirked as he watched Aria walk up with a friendly smile that did reach her eyes. 

He listened to her speak to the older man behind them, soaking up the little tidbits she'd share about her life when it came to food. She was an open person but would only talk about her past when asked. They'd shared many nights talking over the phone or on the laptop, both finding out about each other slowly. He knew the broad strokes of her life but there was still the nitty gritty that one only learned over time. 

When she began speaking to the girls, he leaned forward and watched carefully. "They've got families, friends, spouses." She spoke, the words ringing in his ears. Chewing his lip, he watched her continue and learned more about her youth than he'd known before. It surprised him but explained the strength and perseverance he loved about her. The reasons he wanted to marry her. 

Swallowing thickly, he sunk back into the sofa and watched as she walked away. 'Well fuck,' he thought, rubbing his mouth and jaw in thought. 

Closing the video, Jeffrey called Aria and tried to steady his mind and calm his voice. He wasn't sure how she was going to take the revelation that she had been filmed and it was all over the internet already. 

"I'm sorry." She greeted him with. "I fucked up and I understand if you hate me."

"You done?" He asked gruffly, a smile tugging at his lips. "You know what they say about people who assume things right?"

"Jeff, come on. Not only did I go out and make a scene, I didn't notice them fucking filming it? God I'm such a dumbass."

"Sweetheart, you're a lovely, well spoken woman, who not only confronted a bunch of bullies but did it with class." He drawled, cocking his head to the side as he replayed her words in his mind. "I'm a lucky fucking man to have such an amazing woman in my life."

Jeffrey could hear her breath hitch and the sound of her sitting down heavily. He listened to the kitchen noise in the background, his own breath stilling as he waited for her to speak. 

"So you're not mad?"

"No darlin’. I'm deeply and utterly in love with you."

"Jeff." She gasped. 

"It's true. Watching you speak... it's just clarified what I feel for you. I can't see my life without you, Aria."

"I love you too." She murmured, her voice turning soft and sweet. Jeffrey leaned forward and offered, "I say we go to Megan's engagement party and afterwards we take a vacation. I have a friend with an awesome beach home. Me and you and empty sands."

"That sounds amazing. I'll start working on clearing my schedule." She spoke with a sigh, relief obvious in her tone. "How long?"

"I want to say forever but probably a four or five days if you can."

"Oh I'll make it happen." She laughed. 

Jeffrey could picture her smile and twinkling eyes. When his dick twitched at the thought of her in a bikini, he offered, "I'm really good at applying suntan lotion so feel free to wear as tiny of a bikini as you can find."

Snorting, Aria replied, "Bikini? Who said anything about a bikini?"

Find Chapter Twenty Three Here:

http://jesbakescookies.tumblr.com/post/163545324206/too-hot-to-handle-chapter-twenty-three

I started posting this fic over on AO3 also. I will probably post in both places since I’m still figuring out AO3 formatting etc.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for updates. I’ll try my best to remember!

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[6ad6ro]

an explanation post and small update about that thing that recently happened with that one ex friend. just fyi, this is very long:

first, some backstory. i have an issue where i often end up staying in abusive relationships (friends/family/dating) for way too long for various reasons. that said, this friend. they were always problematic. they would continue aggressively making passes at me even tho i rejected them constantly. like really gross passes that reminded me of why i “hate (stereotypical) men”. bc it was real bro-style creeping. hitting on me incessantly. always hanging all over me and making any excuse to have physical contact. making gross innuendo “jokes” that went too far just… always. at one point they licked my ear when we were taking a photo together. etc.

now i confronted them on this many times. asked them to tone it down. explained how uncomfortable and stressed they made me. told them “i’m sorry but i just don’t feel that way and i wanna be friends” like god SO often. my sister (used to be friends w them too) even would sit and we’d try to explain to them why they needed to stop.

but of course, they’d always reply to this with extreme defensiveness. say i was just over thinking it. that this is just who they were. that they joke with ALL their friends this way (sidenote i’ve seen how squeamish they can make their other friends). that “maybe i should rethink my standards for what is okay and not okay”. would even accuse me of being paranoid and “gaslighting” them. even when it got better, they were always making little jokes like “oh srry i wanted to pat you on the back but idk if you’ll get mad at me” like they really wanted to let me know i was in the wrong. and beyond that, they always seemed to be like actively trying to find new avenues of hitting on me.

and that was just the personal space issues. they’d also like rage at games when we played together? like slamming my controller to the floor when they lost. being overly competitive. being rude to my other friends if they were “holding them back” in a game. they’d actually criticize people who didn’t agree with how they wanted to play as being “unskilled” and “not real gamers”. and if you ever were beating them, they’d be all angry and say stuff like you were being “ cheap”. any mistake they made in a game was “people cheating”. but any time they did well (including purposeful exploiting), it was a boast worthy achievement. trashtalk all day but only they were allowed to do it.

it was weird too bc TBH THEY AREN’T EVEN ALL THAT GOOD. like overall, i’d almost always beat them. my sister too. they were mediocre at best. but of course… they’d literally make statements like “i almost always beat you” and “i usually win” when it was just… such a rare occurrence. its just… when it came to trying to have a fun play session with people, they put the game and winning above… you know… having fun w the rest of us? and sidenote they were always SUPER picky about what game we played. and when it came to options like “what guns to use” or “what stage to play”… you know how often people take turns so everyone is happy? on their turn, they’d get respect. but on everyone elses turn, they’d always like… fuck around and change options back to theirs and like revert stuff and just…

not that age matters but did i mention they were 27. i mean idk i only bring it up bc they reminded me so much of a little kid like esp about videogames. but there were a lot of other issues with them too. but i’ll just bring up the last big one. they… morally/politically? they tended to be in a cool direction in general. v “supports human rights overall” kinda person. but… they were the type who were idk v quick to judge? they would make extreme judgement calls with no information. they’d always end up fixated on conspiracies rather than perceiving things with moderation. people can think what they want imo, but the issue here is how they needed anyone close to them to agree with them too? 

example: one time i was driving w them in an area that had very little shops and it was late and i had forgotten to pick up a gift for someone we were meeting. just a small thing to thank them for a favor. the ONLY store open and around was walmart. yes fine walmart sucks but  idk i needed a gift. i mentioned i was gonna stop by there and they were like “no not walmart”. and i’m like “yeah i know lol” and they were like “no seriously we cant go in there”. long story they refused to go in, wouldn’t wait in the car, and made it out like if i went in that there would be a big problem. i ended up showing up to the person empty handed and it sucked. another time just recently i was gonna get some lays potato chips and they were like “ew no you can’t buy anything from the cocacola company” and like shamed me and walked off so i couldn’t get them. idk this kinda stuff happens all the time tbh? but it doesn’t stop at just like pretentious annoyance. they’d go HARD with political opinions too and if you disagreed w them they’d HATE you. not just internet forums or strangers. but friends. one time my sister (who for the sake of the story is pan and leaning towards non-binary) disagreed with them when they made a sweeping statement on fb about how some specific thing made everyone “transphobic”. anyways when my sister tried to discuss it with them they literally sicked their friends on her and insulted and browbeat her until she just had to leave. she got stressed at the end and yelled back finally and then they sent her a pm like “i’m really disappointed in you. i’ll be waiting for an apology when you’re ready to give it”. lol long story short my sis dropped them at that point. as she put it “i thought highschool was over”. she was already super mad at them for how they were treating me sexually anyhow tho like... srry but i guess one of my points is my sister is like one of the coolest, nicest, best people i know. she never drops people. but she dropped THEM. over the years i’ve asked them why they go from 0 to 11 so fast and why they don’t... idk... “lead” people into agreeing with them rather than angrily and violently just immediately demanding it? and as they put it “people with strong opinions will never change so don’t bother with them” and “i act how i do as an example to others of how to be a good person”. but god i guess just recently i came to realize that they were just... i don’t think they cared about other people. they just wanted to protect THEMSELVES above all else? they wanted a reason to judge people. it was all an excuse for them to feel self-righteous and act entitled and superior. oops i forgot to mention that they’re pan and gender-neutral as well? maybe they identify as trans but idk. the only reason i mention it is bc they definitely use it as a way to shame people and feel superior. i know it’s easy to be sensitive about that stuff considering, but they go above and beyond. and it’s weird that they’re all about human rights and w/e bc GOD they’re so gross sexually and... srry another example. so they’re a furry. totally fine imo. but one day we were walking around a downtown area with a lot of bars late at night and they were wearing fox ears/tail and bein themselves nbd. but we passed by a “drunkbus” right as cookie-cutter bros spilled out of it. one of them was like “hey i didn’t know the furry convention was in town” and i immediately got super angry and turned to say something. but then i looked to see my friend had just continued to walk away? i took a breath and walked back to them and was like “i’m so sorry like do you want me to say something?” and they were like “it’s okay some day i’ll fuck them until they like it” or “until i turn them” or god idk i think they maybe even used the term “rape”... alarm bells tbh. blahh i won’t go into any more details but lets just say how they act and how they say a person SHOULD act is a dictionary definition of hypocrisy. well anyways, i guess my point i wanted to make with this backstory is, as i’ve finally come to realize... they’re an immature, self-righteous, spoiled person with a pretty distinct martyr complex. and they’re kinda rapey. they always used to complain about all this drama they had and how awful everyone was to them... and it always sounded like “really bad luck”? but i realize now that they were just a tornado of selfishness with like no emotional control and they couldn’t keep friends for too long before it just had to end in a big flaming ball. sorry like i should point out i know they’re obv full of mental illness... but i don’t think they really go to therapy or seek help for any of it? like so many of us on here are pretty messed up but we do our best? this person is not doing their best. they clearly feel the world should change before they do. anyways anyways anyways. this friendship lasted for idk 2 years? 3? it was weird that i didn’t notice my own reactions as warning signs. like when i don’t know someone too well or am having issues... i’ll often bring another friend to hangouts as a sort of buffer. maybe uncool, but it helps. usually this only lasts for like one or two hangouts. but with this ex friend, it lasted the entire period. whenever i tried to hang out w them alone, a much bigger incident would always happen, and i’d go back to square one. but okay. the actual story of the incident: so i was always trying to get them to hang out with me and another friend bc i felt like we all had v similar hobbies, and this past tuesday it finally happened. we all hung out at other friend’s place and played games and ate food and outside of exfriend’s usual little issues, it went really well. at some point it was mentioned that sonic mania released that day. it was something we had all been very excited about, but we already had plans that day and some of us (me) didn’t want to experience the game the first time in a distracted social environment. but i mentioned “ugh i have a doc appointment early tomorrow but i’ll still dl it right when i get home. i better not play it tho lol weh”! when they heard i was buying it, they were like “oh man you gotta let me come over and try it”. i knew they were a big fan of the guy who made it and a huge sonic fan, but also that they had just lost their job and money was tight (i had to buy their food that day). i had a feeling they’d morally be against pirating it temporarily until they could afford it. so idk i was like “hey listen as long as we only play like the first act each, i could take you to my place before i drive you home. but only if you’re okay with being v quick bc i have dr in the morning”. sidenote they refuse to drive and don’t use a bike so hanging out with them always involved carting them around. and no before they lost their job (v recently), they coulda def afforded it. they literally were constantly buying insanely expensive collectibles like think of the most expensive gaming stuff you can and they prob have it. sealed panzer dragoon saga. vectrex with every game. fami twin with working disc system parts. ique with most games loaded. mint physical laserdisc copy (beta?) of dragons lair from the arcade machine. whatever. my point is they spent all their money on toys instaid of bettering themselves. we all do it but they took it to an extreme. one other thing... they only would communicate over their parent’s lan line phone and over facebook. they refused to have a cellphone. back to story. they excitedly agreed to my conditions and we went back to my place and installed the game. i started playing and god it was amazing (obv)! i got to the end of act 1 in a couple of minutes and was like “okay i should rly quit and hand it to you” but they were like “no no finish the zone” and tbh it was so good i agreed. so i played until i beat the boss and then i was like “okay i can’t go further” and quit and then handed it to them. i think the whole zone took me like... 5 minutes? this is when it started getting weird. i noticed my gf had called and like idk she was a bit worried bc i normally call her after i get home from my other friend’s place (we hang every tuesday like clockwork) and it had gotten really late but i forgot to let her know. it was really sweet and i didn’t want her to worry so i was like “hey uh shoot do you mind if i call her?” and tbh they were like already so absorbed in playing the game they weren’t even paying attention to me. but i had given them the rly comfy chair but it blocked the exit to the room. i couldn’t even squeeze by unless they moved first. so i started like asking them ‘hey uh do you mind pausing and moving so i could get by?”... nothing. again i asked. ignored. this went on for like idk 30 sec? a minute? until i finally was like hovering my finger over to hit the pause button like “can you please just pause so i can leave” like... and only then did they finally say “well fine but i don’t even know how to pause”. let me take the time to point out that they are prob the most techy person i know. esp about old game systems. they build flashcarts and repair ancient consoles and solder and mod and they worked the past 4(?) years at a legit retro game store. and they were amazing to begin with. it’s a small thing, but they coulda figured out how to pause a switch. they’d played one many times before too. so finally i have them pause it. and i’m like still standing there for 30 sec or so and they still aren’t budging? and i’m like “you uhh gotta get up so i can get by the chair is blocking me”. they continue to idk ignore??? i finally have to literally pick up the chair WITH them still in it and move it aside. only then could i pass. idk but i didn’t get angry or anything bc i was just relieved to finally get by. as i walked out of the room i mentioned to them “hey if i take too long just keep playing obv but when i walk in please pause it and quit immediately so i don’t see later level content plz” (i’m a big baby and have been avoiding all details for so long and was looking forward to the surprise lol). and they were like “okay” or something. i went out to my car and talked w my gf for god idk 15 or 20 min? i didn’t want to talk that long but she was going to bed soon and was a bit down/ill and i still wanted to talk to her and idk i knew worst case my one friend would love the extra time to play. and i felt like if i stayed out that long i could go in to a very satisfied friend, you know? so i get off the phone and head inside. i enter the room and am like “okay i’m back plz pause it like we gotta go”! ignored. i ask again kinda lol trying to plug my ears and not look. ignored. at that point i notice the same song from the first zone is playing and i look over and it is in fact the same level and i’m like ??? “wait how are you still on the first level??” and they were like “oh i’m completing all of the special stages”. the first thought i had was like oh wow cool they really wanted to stick to my initial request of only playing the first zone? unnecessary but v nice of them! i guess i was really reaching for an explanation lol... so whatever they still are playing so i sit down next to them and am watching them play for another minute or so. i was about to say something bc they still weren’t stopping but then i notice how close they are to the boss and am like “oh okay cool you’re p much to the boss so you’ll be done super quick”. they keep playing. at that point i notice they’;re like... taking sonic up and around the level kinda in circles? and backtracking? like? it’s really weird and i’m like “wait what are you doing” and they’re like “trying to get rings to complete the special stages”... so i’m like “uhh sorry tbh but i’m already way past when i wanted to go to bed is there any way you can just... go to the boss”?? and they’re still doing their thing and ignoring me and so i speak up again like “cmon like i’m really sorry but this doctors appointment is an obligation and i really need to get to bed”. and at that point they pause the game. stand up angrily. kinda fling the controller so it hits the table and falls onto the hard floor. they start kinda flailing their arms angrily and say in this really sour tone “oh im sorry i just thought you were gonna idk let me PLAY the GAME”??? i start replying like “listen i’m sorry i just like i don’t have a choice in the matter like i have to go to bed like you had like 3 times as much time as i did and idk maybe you can take the switch into the car or something idk??” and they just kinda angrily say “whatever whatever just stop yelling at me”. btw i’m not yelling. i’m definitely definitely not yelling. i’m not even angry. calm. nice. confused at best? and this isn’t one of those things where it’s like “im not yelling bc when i yell you really KNOW it”... i just wasn’t yelling by anyone’s terms. at that point i’m like “listen i’m sorry i just don’t know why this is becoming such an issue like idk maybe you can wear headphones in the car and keep playing later levels or...” and that’s when they’re like “it doesn’t matter just STOP yelling at me”. and the chair is in the way of the exit and needs to be like lifted and moved so we can leave. but at that point they take their foot and just KICK the chair across the room. at that point i’m kinda like “listen i’m sorry if i have a tone in my voice or am hurting your feelings but tbh it’s kinda hard to remain perfectly calm when you’re sorta throwing a temper tantrum and..” and that’s when they shouted as loud as they could “OKAY NOPE UH UH BYEEE” and swung open the door and ran through the house to the exit door. i’m trying to call after them like “shit i’m really sorry but i don’t have time to chase after you i gotta go to bed please can i just take you home like if you leave i gotta just let you and go to bed” and they ignore me and run outside. it’s like 2am at this point btw. i kinda go outside to check if they’re standing there cooling down but no. long gone. ran down the street i think. so i go back inside. turn the light out. and lock the door. i just dont have time to deal with this. i want to but i can’t. but i sit there for a few minutes. and... (maybe) the mentally ill/abused side of me is like “well you COULD go look for them and try to calm them down and drive them home and it wouldn’t take THAT much longer than you were gonna already spend driving them, right? worst case if you don’t find them you can just go home and go to bed”. and so i head outside.as i enter my car tho, i get this weird gut awful feeling of deja vu? i realise pretty quickly that this scenario was pretty similar to the ones i had pretty regularly with my one really bad ex gf. the one who was a manipulative sociopath that used me and cheated on me and also had no emotional control etc etc etc lol? and idk i was surprised bc... i thought that this part of my life had been over. but still... the dumb side of my brain ignored that and carried on. i drove along the path i assumed they walked, thinking maybe they woulda taken the time to calm down. after a bit i finally caught up to them. i pulled up slowly and kinda called out like “hey i’m really sorry like i never wanted it to go down that way like you’re my friend like let me take you home i’m really sorry”. they ignored me for a bit and kept doing that angry car walk thing as i had to slowly follow behind and continue apologizing. finally they stopped and came to the window. they were like “listen you can’t talk to me like that and abuse me like that like what you did was so awful and bullying and ..” and went on like that for a min. and i was like “listen i’m sorry and i know me using that one word in particular must have really set you off but idk..” like trying to explain to them why i said “temper tantrum” (BC THATS WHAT THEY FUCKING HAD BTW THATS WHAT IT GD WAS) but i was trying to be nice about it? so i continued on “well i mean the reason i said that was okay like i know you were agitated but you kinda like tossed my controller haphazardly and it hit the floor and yeah i’m sure it was an accident...” and at that point they stuck their head inside the window like super close to my face and shouted as loud and angrily and full of spittle as they fucking could “WELL MAYBE IT WAS A FUCKING ACCIDENT THEN”!!!! i’m like... idk... adrenaline just dumps into my body. i’m giving this person so so so many chances tonight. being so nice. and this is a problematic friend to begin with. and they’re shouting in my face like this as i try to apologize to them so i can drive them home after they ran off. but i’m a pacifist and i try to avoid conflict. but still... i’m like, probably quietly, “you... you can’t just yell at me like that. you aren’t allowed to yell at me like that.” and they open their mouth and start shouting more. and that’s when i shout back “I WON’T LET YOU SHOUT AT ME LIKE THAT”!!! idk if it scared them or what like i know i’m pretty booming and alarming when i shout idk but regardless they yanked their head out of the window and backed away from the car and i split second checked they were clear and i just floored it. but... i quickly slammed on the breaks. took a breath. decided i didn’t want it to be like this (do you see how stupid/messed up i am). i put it in reverse and turned around to back up. but i have to slam on the breaks. thank god i was only idling at that point. bc they’re pressed RIGHT up against my back bumper. i’m trying to comprehend all this bc there’s a v big sidewalk and they were on it when i started to speed off so why are they right behind my car now? a BIG alarm bell goes off in my head but i ignore it. i stare at them as they wait pressed against my bumper for like half a minute, giving them “what are you doing” eyes and gestures. finally they come back to the window. i’m like “listen. i’m really really sorry. it’s okay if you hate me. we don’t have to talk about it or at all. i made a mistake. i’m very sorry. can i just... take you home? i feel bad. we can try and work out this stuff later if we have to”. at that point they start yelling at me again (not screaming but just normal yelling) and telling me how awful and bullying and abusive etc i am and how their reactions were justified and idek bc they started walking off again. FINALLY. FINALLLLLY. my brain accepts this situation as fairly impossible and unreasonable and i decide i gotta be done. i just... can’t? anymore?? even if i wanted to... i don’t have time? so i pull up next to them and say sternly “you know what? you can’t treat your friends like this or they will LEAVE you.” and i sped off. i think i heard them screaming after me like “YOU SHOULD TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE” but god knows like my car is junk but i had floored it so they were long gone. okay so that’s PRETTY much the end of it. i decided pretty quickly after that that i was DONE with this person forever. that this wasn’t the kind of friendship i wanted. over the next few days i came to realize i should have been done with this person almost immediately. again, weird parallels to my worst ex. you don’t have to be dating someone or romantic w them for it to be a super abusive relationship. well anyhow i decided to avoid facebook or communicating w them for a bit so i could figure out how to like “officially end it”. because i was sure that they’d have gone on fb and written one of their common “i’m sorry i acted that way BUT” fake apologies where they pretend to be sorry but then negate the apologies by justifying all their behavior by making me out as some super abusive monster. 3 days later, i bite the bullet and check facebook, bc i realize this also is a pretty easy way for me to like... end it with them in a polite and cordial way? to pretend i don’t hate them. to talk to them in a way that hopefully keeps them from freaking out at me the next time our paths cross? also bc deep down i still do remember the good times and have a bit of respect for them. sure enough, it was there. the half-apology that leads into “you need to learn how to talk to people”. “you bullied me just like this person”. “when you talk to anyone you should use this tone”. tbh i only barely glazed over it. i started my reply along the lines of “i don’t want to get into a big discussion about what happened, but i think it would be best if we parted ways. i don’t think we’re compatible as friends. i hope we can be polite if we ever run into each other again. i’m really sorry that it turned out this way.” etc etc etc. part way in, i noticed their last short msg. sent way after the initial bunch of “sorry not sorry”s. it was just a half sentence. “i guess i should apologize for jumping in front of your car...” ... THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE. THAT BASTARD. THEY REALLY DID IT. THEY REALLY WERE TRYING TO FORCE ME TO INJURE THEM WITH MY CAR SO THEY COULD ENTRAP ME OR SUE ME OR FUCK MY LIFE UP. I THOUGHT I WAS BEING CRAZY AND PARANOID WHEN I HAD THAT THOUGHT BUT IT WAS TRUE. THAT ABSOLUTE LUNATIC. *deep breath* i’m still shaken. it was just a fluke that i didn’t step on the gas before i noticed them against my bumper. it EASILY could’ve gone down in the worst way. god. and all this over me asking them to stop playing sonic mania. tbh the experience kinda soured the game a bit for me? i mean... thank god it’s so good but really who even gives a shit bc it’s just a game like GOD fucking DAMN i can’t believe i had something so FUCKED happen at this stage in my life. i know it’s a really self-hating thing to do to blame myself for having someone like that around but... my. god. i ended up sending the fb message that i was initially planning and ignoring all the impulses to scream at them or call some authority (idek what i could do here) or tell them they need immediate help or what bc what the fuck. and i haven’t checked fb since. i wanna be done forever. i don’t ever wanna see or hear or hear about this person again. it’s a bit silly but i’m cleaning house and getting rid of all the stuff they got for me (i rejected most of their “wooing” gifts but a few still got through bc general gift exchange”. i know it’s messed up but i even washed all the clothes i was wearing w them regardless if it needed a wash or not. maybe it was symbolic. but they’re dead to me. god. it’s not just for the best it’s goddamn mandatory.

ANYWAYS so that’s it i guess. sorry i know how long this was. i don’t REALLY expect anyone to read through all this. but if you do, plz lmk so i can say thanks i guess lol? it’s just nice to get it all out there bc it kinda messed me up... really bad? idk. and oh um i’ll still reply to people individually for asking about the previous post that related to this? but it’s taking me a bit to do replies bc i’m just... kinda scared regarding social stuff rn considering.  i guess the last thing i’ll say is if part of you is telling yourself that someone is abusive and you find yourself constantly making really big considerations or umm excuses just to hang out with someone? maybe don’t. there are many good people out there for you. abusive people can be dangerous. be careful and try to surround yourself with nice, happy people. <3