#anyway no need to apologize about the essay! i was getting bored of studying for midterms anyway

[ffsg0jo]

𝖆𝖋𝖋𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓[𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖘] - 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖌𝖚𝖊

sukuna is on the verge of being kicked out from uni, and his friends are completely useless (no surprise there, though). if only there was someone who could help him get his grades up before the semester ends....

college au - various x reader (mainly sukuna x reader)

warnings: mean gojo , slight mean suguru , kinda ooc characters , sukuna is his own warning , college/uni au , swearing

w/c: 1000 words + (not proofread)

series masterlist :: general masterlist

join the taglist here to be tagged in future chapters for this series <3

next chapter

sukuna was fucked.

he messed around last semester a bit too much, spent too many nights partying and getting shit faced. his already mediocre grades got worse and worse, attendance slipping, and now he was faced with the threat of disenrollment if he didn’t get his grades up this term. he might as well kiss his degree goodbye now.

“what about (name)?” gojo suggests, thinking about how you used to tutor suguru. gojo remembered how it was thanks to you he’s gained a real proficiency in the social sciences and even tutors students himself.

“what about her?” he says in response, becoming increasingly annoyed at both the situation and his friends.

“she’s smart right?” gojo shrugs.

“why can’t you or nanami help me?” sukuna groans, ignoring gojo and facing his long haired friend. suguru was sat at his desk, minding his own business, finishing up the references for his essay.

“leave (name) out of this satoru,” suguru sighs, turning to face the two sat in his room and cracking his knuckles. “poor girls suffered enough at your hands.”

it’s true. gojo saw how introverted you were and personally made it his job to constantly mess with you. he revelled in your embarrassment and not knowing how to act, and quite frankly it was mean. everyone knew he wasn’t really interested in you and would get bored with teasing you soon enough, moving onto someone else. but your reactions were quite funny if they were being honest.

suguru was nice enough to you on his own, but never really spoke to you beyond a “hello”, gojo constantly bothered and teased you, whilst sukuna completely ignored you, forgetting you existed. out of the four nanami was the nicest, always respectful and dragging gojo away from you with an apology. the world needed more nanamis.

“you’re no fun suguru. you never cared before” gojo pouts. he suddenly sits up straighter, painting a smirk on his face as he realises something, “are you in loveeeee? does suguru have a crush on plain old (nameeeeee)?” he singsongs.

“you’re insufferable, and don’t be stupid satoru,” suguru fights back, already done with satoru’s nonsense. “she’s not my type anyway.”

sukuna hums, nodding, agreeing with the latter part of suguru’s statement. there was nothing extraordinary about you. your quiet nature somewhat irked him, and he didn’t understand why you were so shy. you were an adult for god’s sake, why didn’t you ever stand up for yourself. the more he thought about you the angrier he became so he made a point to ignore you.

“oi, getou, answer my question.”

suguru really needed to invest in a new lock or even just move dorms altogether so these two idiots wouldn’t bother him. he just wanted to submit his essay and lay down and scroll on his phone, maybe even have a nap.

“kento has a billion jobs and barely has time to study himself, and i don’t want to waste my energy on you,” suguru says, standing up and stretching, his hand dipping under his t-shirt to lightly scratch his stomach. he walks over to his mini fridge and gets a bottle of water out, pointing it at sukuna to emphasise his next words. “you’re hopeless.”

satoru laughs at the scowl on sukuna’s face and decides to take pity on him; uni would be considerably boring without him he supposes. he gets his phone out of his pocket and scrolls for a bit, grabbing sukuna’s phone when he’s found what he’s looking for and unlocks it. he types something into his phone and hands the pink-haired giant his phone back.

“there’s (name)’s number, ask her to help you. she’s too nice and too scared to say no to you anyways.”

sukuna really didn’t want you to be his tutor, he can’t imagine you being able to teach someone like him very well, but he has no other choice. unfortunately, most of the girls (and people in general) in his acquaintance aren’t really the smart and tutoring type. he takes his phone in his hand and stares at your contact details, debating on what to do.

he’ll message you later in the week, he thinks, slipping his phone into his pocket. but for now, he just wanted to take his mind off it.

bonus:

nanami walks up to his and suguru’s shared dorm, tired and so ready to collapse on his bed for a while before he works on finishing his assignment. it seemed like the world’s against him though as he can hear suguru and gojo arguing from outside. great, he thinks to himself. so much for relaxing.

today was not a good day. he was late to work, spilt boiling hot coffee on himself after a customer bumped into him and missed his bus home. his only saving grace was that you rushed to help him, guiding him to the bathroom and holding his arm as the water ran freely on him.

truthfully, he would’ve quit working at the coffee shop long ago, but after finding out you were a regular, he convinced himself to stay. he was busy juggling his second job and lectures and whatnot, so he didn’t get to see you often. plus, the pay wasn’t too bad for part time work, and the customers were generally quite nice.

(if we’re being frank, it was like any other normal job, but nanami needed something other than his infatuation with you to rationalise his behaviour).

nanami was ready to walk away and maybe beg you to let him stay with you for a couple of hours. you’d understand fully having interacted with gojo before, and maybe he’d have a chance to finally ask you out. but the sound of your name leaving gojo’s lips made him stop in his tracks.

his eyebrows furrowed deeply in confusion. gojo had your number? why on earth did gojo have your number? and why was he giving it to sukuna out of all people? and why does the thought of either of them texting you make him feel sick to his stomach.

© ffsg0jo 2024 — do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work, in any way shape or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.

[imagineddworld]

Not so innocent game of truth or dare

Pairing: Xavier Thrope x reader 

Summary: Unbeknownst to them, Xavier and the reader are crushing on one another. In a not so innocent game of truth or dare some feelings come to the surface. Will something beautiful blossom from this?

Word count: 3735 (3.7k)

Warnings: mention of drinking alcohol, sexual tension

Autor’s note: So yeahh.. I once again am obsessed with Wednesday, especially this boy. So I could not not write something about him. Since i base all my fics on me, i made the reader have ADHD like me. I hope you don’t mind. Anyway, enjoy! Also my apologies for not making this gender neutral, I had forgotten about it during writing this fic. But the gender is only implied, not specifically stated.

You sat at your desk, studying while listening to music. Your foot was tapping along to the beat as the melody blasted through your headphones. It helped you focus on the tedious task of writing an essay about some boring plant. That was till your favorite song came on. You couldn’t help yourself but dance along to it. You jumped up from your chair, wildly swinging your arms and bouncing around the room. Sitting still had caused a lot of pent up energy to be stuck in your body, making its way through your veins like a string of electricity. As you moved your body along the music, you felt the overload of energy decrease. You danced till you finally deemed yourself calm enough to sit still again, or as still as possible. You had to switch positions every few minutes, bouncing your leg and fiddling with some stupid object in your hand as your wrote down the information.  

The words were flowing from your pen. Every once in a while you browsed through the pages of the book, looking up new information that you could use in your essay. You were engulfed in your own work bubble, not aware of your surroundings. This caused you to miss the knock on your door. The intruder sighed at the sight of your studying figure , walking further into the room until they stood next to your desk. You only noticed their presence when your headphones were abruptly taken from your head. This made you jump up, nearly hitting the person square in the face. “What the hell, Enid”, you exclaimed in an annoyed tone, slowly lowering your arms. She watched you with wide eyes, holding her hands up in surrender. “Sorry”, she gave you an apologetic look. ‘What do you want?”, you asked her in a monotone voice, not pleased being interrupted while you finally were able to concentrate on something. She raised her eyebrow, questioning if you were really asking her such a thing. In response, you lightly shook your head while scrunching your eyebrows together in confusion. “It’s Friday”, she exclaimed, as if it were obvious. But this statement didn’t gave you any more information. “I’m aware, yes”, you still held the same confused expression on your face, not getting where she was going with this conversation. “You’re not supposed to study on a Friday. Let’s party, have some fun”. Her exciting energy was contagious, lighting your sour mood in an instance. “Temping, but I decline your offer’, you gave her a small smile, while taking your headphones back from her hand that was still holding onto them. You were about to put them on your head again, walking back towards your desk as she stopped you in your tracks. “Oh come on, (y/n). Please come hang out with us”, she begged, putting on her best puppy eyes. “I can’t”. “How so?” Enid wasn’t going to give up so easily. This was going to be a long night. You sighed. “Because of this stupid essay. I need to get a head start on it otherwise I won’t be able to finish it in time”. She scoffed at your statement. “Of course, you will. You are one of the smartest person I know.” You chuckled: “I didn’t state that I wasn’t smart. It’s just that writing this essay is such a soul-destroying task that my ADHD-brain will just procrastinate it until I only have a few hours left until the deadline.” The blond girl nodded in understanding, but wasn’t giving up. “I’ll help you finish it.. Just come hang out with us for now”. You let out another sigh, pondering over the offer. It was tempting, very tempting. Any activity that wasn’t writing that stupid essay sounded good to you at the moment. 

“We’re all going to hang out in Xavier’s dorm, drinking booze...” Enid wiggled her eyebrows at you, knowing that you wouldn’t want to miss out on hanging around Xavier. You regretted telling her the truth about your silly crush on the so called tortured artist. But in all honesty, she had infiltrated your life. If she wasn’t so curious, watching your every move as you were around him, your crush would’ve still been a secret. Ever since she found out that information, she had been teasing you. As for the current situation, she used it to persuade you, knowing that it would be hard to decline her offer if you knew Xavier would be there. You opened your mouth to speak, but she gave you no time actually for a respons. “Whatever, you’re going with me anyway”, she spoke while grabbing a hold of your wrist, lightly dragging you out of your dorm room. “Enid stop. At least give me the chance to change clothes”. She looked over her shoulder, eyeing you up and down - all while she was still dragging you through the halls. “You look amazing, no need to change”. You doubted her, seen that you wore a very oversized sweater on top of your dress. Your legs were covered in nylon stockings as your feet were covered in fussy sock. None of the colours matched one another. It was as if you just had thrown on any piece you found the quickest. You briefly looked at your feet, realizing that you weren’t wearing any shoes. “I’m not even wearing shoes”, you exclaimed. “Doesn’t matter, we’re not going outside.” You let out a loud sigh, knowing that arguing with the blond werewolf was not going to bring you anywhere. She would only let go of your wrist until you arrived at Xavier’s dorm. So you let yourself get dragged along the cold halls of Nevermore.

Once upon arrival, Enid knocked excitedly on the door. You heard light music and chatter coming from behind the door. It took a few moments for the door to be opened. Xavier’s tall figure greeting the two of you once it did. He smiled at you both, opening the door a little further to let you in. Enid hopped towards the others, quickly conversing with them. As you went to enter the room Xavier spoke up: “didn’t expect you to come”. He had a small smile adorning his face while his warm eyes looked into yours. “I really didn’t have a choice”, you spoke in a monotone voice. You scolded Enid in your head for allowing you to wear such an outfit as you went to meet up with your friends, specifically Xavier. He scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion, trying to make sense of your answer. You nodded your head towards Enid, silently communicating that it was her doing. He gave a sign of understanding. “Well, I’m glad you’re here.” You offered him a small smile before continuing to make your way into the room, not sure how to respond to such a comment. It’s not that you didn’t understand the social structures. It was actually due to an overload of possible ways to respond. Your head came up with multiple replies. Choosing one was just too tedious, so you opted for not reacting at all. 

The beginning of the evening went by slow. You didn’t say much. You listened to the others, swaying your head along to the music while drinking some of the booze they had sneaked into Nevermore. You sat on the ground, leaning against the side of Xavier’s bed. This way you had an overview of everyone. Enid was sat between Ajax and Wednesday. The love triangle being painfully obvious. The two of them were battling for Enid’s attention, even though Wednesday wouldn’t admit to that. She refused to allow herself to feel any sort of those type of feelings, gagging at the thought of them. But she knew that blond werewolf had ignite something inside of her, to her dismay. 

A bit further into the room you heard the loud laughing of Bianca and Yoko, both clearly intoxicated by the drinks in their hands. You pulled your attention from them to look at the only person left in the room that you purposefully hadn’t acknowledged much. Xavier sat at his desk, sketching some things in his sketchbook while enjoying the music and occasional gulp of his drink. You allowed your eyes to roam over his figure, adoring how he looked. You tried to observe every detail. From his messy hair to the little specks of brown in his eyes. 

As the evening strolled around, things had gotten more interesting. You started to play an innocent game of ‘Truth or dare’. Soon it turned into a more challenging version. As someone didn’t completed their dare or truthfully answered the question, they had to take a shot. The punishment eventually evolved into taking a piece of clothing off. By now you had to get rid of your fussy socks and oversized sweater. Luckily the booze in your system kept you warm, otherwise you would be shivering the whole time. 

Dares were thrown at people since barely anyone choose truth. Ajax had to kiss Enid. Afterwards she was dared to kiss Wednesday, much to the girl’s dismay. She might have acted as if she hated to kiss Enid, but you noticed that their lips lingered longer than a normal kiss between best friends would be. You were next, impatiently waiting for your turn. “Truth or dare? Choose wisely”, Bianca asked teasingly. “I always do darling”, you winked at her in a playful demander, “Bring on the challenge”. She laughed at your behavior, pondering over a possible dare to give to you. She was about to open her mouth to speak when Enid interrupted her. “Sit on Xavier’s lap until it’s your turn again”, she smirked at her own brilliance. You shoot her a cold look, knowing what she was trying to do. But you wouldn’t let her win this battle. Two people could play that game. “Sure, if he is okay with that”, you stated calmly while continuing to stare into her eyes, trying to show that she’s not getting underneath your skin. “It’s fine by me”, Xavier spoke softly. This comment pulled your attention, diverting your eyes towards him. You didn’t expect him to accept such a thing. The two of you were close, comfortably hanging out with one another and enjoying each others company. None the less, you two weren’t particularly touchy throughout your friendship. You shared the occasional hug, but that was as far as showing physical affection got.

You stood up, dusting off your dress. Enid was watching you with anticipation, dying to know how the two of you would react to being so close and intimate with the other. Just to annoy her, you took extra long to make your way over to Xavier. Once you reached his desk, standing next to his sitting figure, you made brief eye contact with him. “You sure it’s okay?”, you questioned in a soft voice so only he could hear you. He nodded his head while a kind smile curled his lips upwards. “It is”. With that you sat down on his legs, trying to put as much weight on your own legs. Of course Xavier noticed what you were doing, so he pulled you closer to his chest while shifting your legs over to the side. This way you were sitting sideways on his lap, your arm leaning against his chest. He draped his arm around your waist, resting his large hand just above your hip. At first you felt strange to be in such a close proximity to him. You could feel his breath fanning against your face, causing goosebumps to cover your skin. But the longer you sat on his lap, the more comfortable you felt. The heat of his body was warming yours. The smell of his cologne infiltrating your nose, making you feel intoxicated by him. His thumb was lightly drawing figures on your clothed skin, causing a calming sensation to wash over you. However it didn’t mean that you weren’t restless anymore. You were swinging your legs back and forth while your hands fiddled with the hem of your dress. Every few minutes you shifted in his lap, trying to change positions to have some variety. As you did so, you felt Xavier tense up underneath you. He let out a soft cough, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. After a few more seconds of wiggling around in his lap, his large hand gripped your thigh. This made your movements stop, no longer trying to get into a new comfortable position. “Stop moving, please”, he said quietly in your ear. His breath tickled your skin, making a shiver run down your spine as goosebumps covered your skin again. You looked up at him, only now registering how close your faces were to one another. You had to swallow the small lump down your throat before you could speak. “Sorry”, you mumbled, feeling an odd tension arise in the room - specifically between you and Xavier. Your mind started to drift away from reality, overanalysing the sudden change. The chatter from the others got drown out by your thoughts as your eyes stared off into the distance. Why did he stiffen at your movement? Was he uncomfortable with you on his lap? Your mind was racing a thousand miles an hour, not being able to keep up with all the screaming thoughts. 

You were so consumed by your mind that you hadn’t realize the time ticking by. The dares completed by the others went unnoticed by you. You had zoned out the entire time the group went through another round of ‘truth or dare’. You missed Bianca twerking to the music, Yoko admitting her deepest secret to the group and them calling out your name as your turn came up. Xavier lightly shook you, trying to get your attention. “(y/n)?” His hand rubbed up and down your arm. The sensation of his warm skin against yours brought you back to reality. You blinked quickly, trying to register your surroundings as you looked confused around the room. “Someone was deep in trance”, Bianca teased, chuckling lightly at your flustered state. “Yeah, she’s totally intoxicated by him”, Yoko added to the one sided conversation. “Oh come on, let her be. She’s just comfortable up there”, Enid tried to keep the teasing at bay. Only she had the right to tease you about this situation, knowing the depths behind it. “You can stay if you want”, Xavier said, still softly rubbing your arm. “No, it’s okay”, you were trying to make your way of his lap, but his arm stopped your movements. “Please?”, he asked. His voice quietly filled your ears, sending another huge shiver down your spine. You looked back at him with a questioning look, not understanding all the signs he was giving. Perhaps you were reading them wrong. 

The group was carefully watching your interaction, intrigued by how it would play out. Well, everyone beside Wednesday. She scrunched her face up in disgust at the lovey dovey stuff. “Ready to take on another dare?”, her monotone voice interrupted the moment. Enid looked annoyed at the girl beside her, lightly hitting her arm. This interruption had caused you to stand up from Xavier’s lap. The cold immediately overtook your body, missing the heat that had been radiating from the tall boy. “Sure why not”, you responded, awkwardly standing next to the desk. “What about staying in Xavier’s lap for the rest of the evening?”, Enid suggested. The rest of the group agreed with her. You looked over at Xavier, silently asking him for permission to return to your spot in his lap. He nodded his head lightly as a bright smile adorned his face. 

You were glad to be back in his lap, the warmth of his body already heating up yours. It was comfortable. The odd tension that previously hung between you had decreased to something bearable. However your mind was still wandering, trying to piece together all the signs he had been giving this evening. Something didn’t add up, but you weren’t going to waste more time thinking about it. You decided to just enjoy the moment for what it was. 

As the game continued, you felt yourself grow tired. Your head felt heavy, a certain fog started clouding your mind. So without thinking much about it, you laid your head against Xavier’s shoulder. You felt him look down at you, probably questioning himself why you rested your head against him. “Tired?”, he asked softly. “A bit”, you mumbled back, snuggling closer to him. His arm tightened around your waist, holding you close to his chest. After a while he rested his head against yours, being comfortable with your current position. In all honesty he didn’t want to leave this position ever. He finally had you close to him, something that he had been dreaming about for months.

“Xavier”, Ajax’s loud voice filled the room, making said boy jump lightly in his chair. The movement made you jump up too. You lifted your head from his shoulder, your hand resting on his chest to stable yourself. You felt his rapid beating heart underneath your skin, wondering what the reason behind his rapid heartbeat was. 

“Truth or dare?” Xavier pondered over the possible outcomes. Everyone was getting tired so the dares weren’t as challenging anymore. What harm would it do to accept another one? “Uhm, dare I suppose”. He saw the gorgon exchanging looks with Enid, both wearing wide grins on their faces. He already hated the decision he made. “I dare you to stare into (Y/n)’s eyes for one minute while your faces are only a few inches apart”. That shouldn’t be so hard, he thought to himself. But boy was he wrong. 

You straddled him, both legs at each side of him so you were now facing to him. His arms were comfortably draped around your waist, holding you in place. Your faces were just a few inches away from one another, causing your breath to mingle together. At first Xavier just stared into your eyes, observing all the colours he could find swirling in them. The small little specks in them resembling their own personal galaxy. He could stare at you all day, get lost in your beauty for eternity. He couldn’t stop his eyes from adverting towards your lips every once in a while. They looked so soft. He wondered how it would feel to kiss them, to have them against his. Without registering his moving body, he leaned in closer. It was as if some magnet was pulling him towards you. Just as his eyes darted back to look at your lips, he noticed that you were staring at his lips; licking yours as a reaction. “Like what you see?”, he teased as a wide smile made its way up his face. “Always”, you retorted back, too entranced with his beauty to care about possibly ruining your friendship. You eagerly wanted to close the gap between you two. You wanted to get lost in the feeling, the high of finally being able to kiss him and claiming his as yours. 

His hand slowly cupped your cheek, stroking softly against your skin with his thumb. You were less than an inch apart, both itching to finally touch the other. Your eyes fluttered shut as you followed your instinct, slowly moving closer to him. But before anything could happen - before your lips connected - a loud monotone voice interrupted the moment. “Time’s up”, Wednesday announced. “Nooo”, you heard a couple of people respond to the interruption. At that you backed away from Xavier, sad that the moment had been ruined. You had forgotten about your surroundings, getting lost in the longing. Hearing the others biker had pulled you back into reality. A heavy weight settled itself onto your chest. This might had been the only chance to kiss him, to make your dream come true. You awkwardly fiddled with your hands, not daring to look Xavier in the eyes again. For some reason you felt embarrassed, like you were only fooling yourself. 

Unbeknownst to you Xavier had a similar battle going on in his mind, blaming himself for not kissing you earlier. He felt as if he had wasted his only chance at getting with the person of his dreams. Seeing you so vulnerable in front of him, broke his heart. He wondered if you were feeling the same emotions as him. Did you want to kiss him as badly as he wanted to kiss you? Was that why you suddenly look so devastated? Before more questions could pop in his mind, he let out a sigh escape from his lips. “Fuck it”, he said underneath his breath, just loud enough for you to pick up on the sound. He tilted your head upwards with his finger, making you look at him. His large hands came to cup your face, before he closed the gap between you two. At first you were too stunned to react, unsure of what to do. You weren’t fully able to register what was currently happening to you. But soon your body reacted on its own, moving your lips along with his. One of your hands went to his hair, while the other grabbed onto his shirt. You melted into his body, craving his touch. This was all you ever wanted. 

You broke apart at the sound of your friends whistling and celebrating this sweet moment. It was painful for them to watch you both be so in love with each other, but no one making a move. Your eyes fluttered open, looking deeply into Xavier’s eyes while an idiotic grin made its way onto your face. He mimicked your expression, feeling overjoyed. You felt your cheeks heat up at the realization of what just happened. The kiss was amazing, but you felt embarrassed to express such an intimate moment in the presence of your friends. Their teasing would be unbearable. You groaned at the thought, hiding your face into the crook of Xavier’s neck. This action made him chuckle. He just held you tightly against him, hoping that this moment would last forever. The high of kissing you taking over, no longer caring about the teasing of his friends. He had you close to him and that was all he wanted right now.

[elftwink]

i don't think trans*ndrophobia truthers realize that they also make it Harder for some transmascs to talk about our experiences properly - personally it's become a lot harder to talk about my experiences with both transphobia and misogyny as a transmasc m+f multigender person bc every discussion inevitably becomes some form of justifying "trans*ndrophobia" as a term, or someone pulling the ~we ALL experience transmisogyny~ shit. people insisting on terms like "trans*ndrophobia" and etc

(2) really just feels like trying to establish another form of binary tbh; transmisogyny as a term exists bc there's countless statistics and years of evidence setting it as a form of oppression apart from other forms of transphobia, but now people are just scrambling for an oppression label for the transphobia every "type" of trans person experiences. it just doesn't sit right (sorry for the rant in your inbox btw, it's relieving to see smn else fed up w the "trans*ndrophobia" crowd lmao)

yes exactly my thoughts on it; the attempt to create some kind of universal transmasc oppression alienates people who don't fit that kind of framework. and it this point it's often difficult to even talk around it because if you try someone else hops onto your post and attempts to stuff you into that framework. admittedly this is often well-meaning but the fact that they don't view that behaviour as derailing the conversation to me is what has always indicated that they don't care about the nuances of that convo anyway, unless it can be used to further validate what they already believe.

one thing that really drives me up the wall about it is when you read posts about the term by people who use it, it feels like they're not willing to acknowledge that a lot of the pushback is from other transmasc people (or they don't realize, or whatever). instead it's framed really vaguely like "oh they're trying to take away our language" presenting 'trans*ndrophobia' as some topic that unifies all transmascs while only outsiders push back, thereby further proving how oppressed transmascs are and how much "we" need the term. i.e. "if it wasn't real, why would people hate us so much for suggesting it was?"

only that's not what's happening. this is a purely intracommunity debate that exists at this point almost solely online in primarily transmasc circles. most of the people who speak on it are transmasc, most people who form an opinion at all are transgender in some way. while i can't read anyone's mind and am not accusing anyone of intentionally misleading people, it does get a bit frustrating to have people act like i'm in the in-group (and therefore agree with them) while attributing my actual opinions to some nebulous "them" in an equally nebulous "us vs them" depiction of the situation. it allows them to feel like they're speaking for the good of all transmascs while ignoring whoever doesn't already agree with them. and it allows them to severely dramatize and play up what is, at its core, online tumblr transmasc discourse. which isn't to say it's not important but that i resent reading posts about how not using a stupid term many of us don't even like or find useful presents an existential threat to the transmasc community when really it's like some transmasc people said "i invented a term lets use it for xyz" and other transmasc people went "i don't like that and think it's bad for abc reasons" and that's literally where we are now. it's dishonest, regardless of whether it's intentional, and it demonstrates they're not really paying that much attention to any criticisms (but what else is new in this community lmao)

you're on the same page i am re: labelling although i think the establishment of any new binary is accidental and probably not even noticed because it's really buried in this idea of 'everyone deserves to have a label' which is then obfuscated by saying "everyone deserves to have language to talk about their experiences" (which. lmao. i guess we never were able to talk about our experiences before this term was invented, what, less than a year ago? a couple years ago? okay); at its core it's a deeply self-centred analysis of oppression. it's honestly frustrating to even bring up any facts or try to make a counter argument because it doesn't and will never matter bc they will never ever address these criticisms head on. bc it's simply so much easier to willfully misunderstand what transmisogyny (the term) means and the significance of it, and characterize any dissent as some kind of censorship or silencing or transmasc voices. if you can fold in any genuine criticisms of your views and behaviors and make them synonymous with the marginalization you face, you never have to deal with the substance of the criticisms. i have yet to see anyone give a satisfying rebuttal to any points about transmisogyny, and about 90% of the time they miss the point entirely and default back to "if trans women get a label we should get one too". which is both childish and also does not address literally anything anyone is (or at least what i personally am) actually arguing. like we're going "it's not necessary and is often harmful to make up terms for different 'versions' of oppression. the reason some people have those highly specific terms is because in general that language is used to describe power systems, not directly apply to interpersonal experiences (though it often can be applied that way)" and they're like "but i want a specific term for my oppression to indicate it is also unique and important" like. nobody said it wasn't and that is so beside the point i'm gonna explode

[bunny-xoxo]

Modern!au Jean Best Friend Headcannons

Modern!au Jean Kirschtein x bestfriend!reader

a/n: i want to be bestie’s with Jean so bad! I jus couldn’t stop thinking about it so please enjoy some headcannon’s of what I think it’d be like to be buddies with Jean! I might make a part 2 someday to add onto these cause I have so much more to say but I had to stop myself before I wrote a full fledged essay sdkjalkfjbajfb, let me know if you guys are interested! Or if you jus wanna come in my inbox and talk with me about Jean Kirstein, I’m always free to do that. Anyways, enjoy!

gif not mine, credit to owner

Ok, I had a dream about Jean being my bestie and I have not stopped thinking about it since then LMAO

Ok, so for starter’s, I truly believe he would be such a good friend like the type to be listening to you in a group conversation and encouraging you to go on when you feel like no one is paying attention

“I’m listening :)”

Or the type to stop next to you while you tie your shoe and wait and just keeps talking to you

VERY much big brother energy, like I feel like he’d have that sincerity that bestie Armin would have but he’d be a little more of the type to always be looking out for you and being a tad overprotective at times, but more on that later back to attentive Jean :)

This man is SO attentive it’s unreal

Bad day? Yeah he could tell before you mentioned it and he’s buying you your favorite snack and driving you around until you talk about it constantly giving you the 👀😗 look

Feeling lonely? You never get the chance

This man is CONSTANTLY blowing up your phone with notifications from snapchat, instagram, tiktok, and facebook messenger if he’s feeling particularly clingy - it’s usually just some strange sticker of a fucking koala or somethin like “hi :)”

SNAPCHAT

You guys don’t have “streaks” but you still have a streak from how often he’s snapchatting you

Most of the time it’s just a video of his face where he slowly zooms in cause he’s bored in class - the amont of snapchat’s you got from him where you can hear is Econ professor lecturing in the background is in the hundred’s at this point

The other times it’s usually Connie and Eren acting like absolute idiot’s while him and Armin are behind the camera like 😐 - they usually end with Armin sighing and stopping them from doing something probably a little illegal

INSTAGRAM

Ok you have a groupchat for studying purposes with all your buddies but if it’s specifically Jean messaging you it’s most likely cause Eren said something stupid and Jean needs someone to laugh with him (yes, you, Jean, Sasha, and Connie do have a separate groupchat where you bully Eren - but it’s with love so it’s ok)

TIKTOK

This man will send you a whole FYP but won’t let you open any of them until he’s with you, then y’all scroll through them together on one of your phones

the type to look at you when you’re on a tiktok he sent you that he thought was really funny to see your reaction

Sends you SO many “challenge” tiktoks that he’s adamant on doing with you

You know the one where someone puts their arm in between the other person’s legs and tries to lift them? He was persistent with that one

“I’m literally jacked c’mon you’ll be fine, I just want to know if I can do it. I mean I know I can, but, like, you know? Just c’mon.”

Yes you gave in, no you didn’t fall, yes Jean wouldn’t shut up about how “yolked” he was for the next 15 minutes

If you guys posted it people are definitely asking if you’re a couple and he just replies to every single one with “no” HE SEEMS SO INTENSE PLS

Ok you’re his best friend? Then you’re definitely close with his family. Like, two holidays every year type close.

You learned to drive when he did cause you’re his bestie and you guys should totally learn together (he was nervous and needed support ok)

PLAY FIGHTING

While I don’t necessarily see him as someone who would playfully bully too much, he is a fighter LMAO

And I’m talking like fucked up sibling fighting

It always starts off “fun” it’s totally a little passive aggressive and then someone smacks a little too hard or throws an elbow that wasn’t needed and next thing you know someone’s in a headlock

If he has you in a headlock he WILL try to tickle you until you borderline piss yourself - until he realizes said piss would get on him and then he’ll let you go like 😎 yeah. I won

If you have him in a headlock PLS take a snapchat if you can and send it to Mikasa

He will pout for like 10 minutes and then get over it when she replies with a black screen and “lol what a dork”

Once you guys are done fighting - cause SOMEONE takes it too far - you just go on your phones until someone peeks over and you’re both like lol hi :),,, are you hungry? I think I still have some pizza rolls :)

Endless hoodie supply from all the sleepovers and the following cold mornings

He is always buying new ones cause he just feels wrong asking for them back? Like, is that his brand new nike hoodie? Yes.

BUT you’re wearing it and clearly you need it if you didn’t bring a hoodie so fine, you can have it, he’ll just buy another one he’s a little bit of a rich boy it’s ok

Although he is wondering where tf his other 6 hoodies you stole went

Late night study sessions in your dorm buildings lounge area - it’s almost embarrassing how often an RA is waking the two of you up to go to your rooms instead of sleeping on the couch and floor

Jean ALWAYS brings an extra water bottle for you in case you forgot one

You’ve definitely stolen your fair share of notes from him - they’re just so easy to understand!

They’re not exactly pretty but they’re just naturally organized into subsections and all the keywords are underlined with a little definition in the margin - if he’s feeling a little spicy he might even add a glossary at the end of his notes asjnffna;irje

Sometime’s he gets too nervous to ask for a girls number and then when you convince him to do it he’s all stuttering and stumbling over his words but he still gets it and he’s convinced it’s ‘cause you’re his lucky charm - really it’s just cute to see Jean all huffy and his ears getting all red while he says some stupid pick up line that he’s immediately apologizing for and now he’s rambling and - oh the girl is shoving something into his hand

“Y/n!! Look!! I got her number!”

Yeah, see Jean acting all cocky for the rest of the day like he got it cause he was smooth and NOT cause he was an adorable flustered mess

He does not like giving out your number if anyone asks him LMAO

He’s just like ,,,,, and why couldn’t you ask them yourself? He just hates it LMAO cause you’re great and if this idiot can’t ask you yourself then they don’t deserve you, they should be CONFIDENT in his mind

BUT he does make it mandatory you tell him everything there is to know about ANY current crush, love interest, fling, anything

Not just cause he likes the gossip but cause he feels like he has to approve - there’s the big bro energy we were talking about

BULLYING EREN BULLYING EREN BULLYING EREN

PLS his favorite thing is to play games with Eren and you and whoever else cause you two will always gang up on Eren and he gets so mad and Jean finds it HILARIOUS

The three of you and Connie were all in the same Minecraft server once and you and Jean just could NOT stop making your dog’s attack Eren and blowing up his house

He was getting so heated and Jean and Connie were laughing so hard it sounded like their mics were blown

Eren had to pull his headset off and step away so he could take a 5-minute break cause he just couldn’t handle it - especially with the three of you dying at how mad he got

Let Eren spell something wrong in the group chat on Instagram or mispronounce a word,,, Jean is on him SO fast and you’re there right behind him - it’s becoming Jean’s favorite hobby and sometimes he says it’s his favorite part of being your best friend LMAO

———————

Ahhhh!! Bestie Jean, hand him over please 🤲🏼🤲🏼‼️‼️ i jus wanna bully eren with him so bad 😭 let me know what you guys think!! Or just come to chat :) love you guys!! And let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist!

-🐇out

taglist: @plutowrites

[harrytpotter]

Don’t You Think? — One-Shot

Plot: Sirius Black keeps crashing your dates until you finally have enough and decides to confront him about it.

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

A/N: I wrote this at 2 am so apologies in advance for the probable grammar mistakes, the short length of it and everything else. It’s messy but I kinda enjoyed the outcome of this. I intended it to be much longer but I felt this was a good way of ending it, so...

“You’re such a git, Black!” You roll your eyes annoyed at you friend — who had just sabotaged your date — on your way to the castle, back from Hogsmeade.

“Oh, come on now, Y/N! I told you I didn’t mean to crash your date, I just needed to ask you something!” He retorts, furrowing his brows.

“Couldn’t you just wait until I got back? This stupid essay’s deadline is in two weeks from now!” You slap his arm furiously, standing in front of him.

“Ouch! Look, I’m sorry okay?! I really thought we were supposed to hand this over tomorrow and-,” he starts, but you don’t give him a chance to finish, turning on your heels and climbing up the stairs to the Gryffindor tower.

You could hear Sirius shouting your name but you were just too furious at him right now. He had no right to mess with your life the way he had and yet he did do it anyway. And it wasn’t even the first time!

“Password,” the bored voice of the Fat Lady snapped you back to reality.

“Dragonfly,” you answer and the portrait moved, letting the path free for you.

“Oi! How was the date, L/N?” James asked you from his spot on the couch as soon as you walked in. He and Lily looked at you curiously.

“Ask your arse of a friend!” You spat before getting to the stairs that led to your dorm.

“Merlin, what did Sirius do now?” He muttered, more to himself than to Lily.

“You better ask him. I’ll go check on her,” Lily says, giving a peck on her boyfriend’s lips and getting out of his embrace.

As soon as the redheaded disappeared into the stairs, Sirius Black entered the portrait hole and plopped himself down on the couch next to James, who sighed heavily before tilting his head to his left to face his best friend.

“What did you do now?” He frowned seriously whilst resting his elbows on his knees.

“She’s overreacting,” Sirius tries to defend himself.

“What did you do, Pads?” James repeated his previous question.

“I was entering the Three Broomsticks when I spotted her and remembered I needed to ask her something about our Transfiguration essay,” he shrugs.

“You ruined her date because of an assignment?” James asks incredulously.

“I didn’t ruin anything, I just asked a question! It’s not my bloody fault that she got furious and stormed off, leaving the poor guy there all alone,” he frowns, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Please tell me you didn’t do such thing,” Remus said in disbelief from behind them, Peter on his trail.

“Before you judge me, how much of what I said did you hear?” Sirius asks with a grimace.

“We heard the entire thing,” Peter answered him with a vague look.

“Padfoot, you can’t keep doing that. Either you admit your feelings to yourself or allow her to live her life and be happy,” Remus scolds him.

“FEELINGS? HA!” Sirius scoffs. “I know you desperately want me to settle down because I’m running out of hearts to break here in Hogwarts but I’m not ready to step out of my game just yet, my friend,” he wrapped his arm on his friend’s shoulder playfully.

“Your call, mate. You’ll only have yourself to blame when you lose her anyways,” Remus shrugged.

“Moony’s right,” Peter nods slowly at Sirius.

“What about you, Prongs? Nothing to add?” Sirius asks mockingly to James.

“You know Y/N’s like a sister to me. Just please stop messing with her life,” he sighs before getting up and heading to the girls’ dorm to check on you and Lily.

“I don’t understand why everyone’s so pissed. I didn’t do anything at all!” Sirius frowns, staring at where his best friend had just disappeared.

Remus sends him a death glare before getting up himself and follow James’ steps.

“Oh, come on! You’re on my side, aren’t ya Wormy?” Sirius asks Peter, both brows lifted.

“Y/N had been waiting for this date quite excitedly, you know?!” He shrugs defensively.

“Excitedly? Please! What’s there to be excited about having a date with Preston Fawley?” He asks with a scrunched face.

“Well... they’ve been flirting for some time now. Sorry, Pads,” Peter shrugs again before leaving Sirius alone with his thoughts.

***

“Are you gonna say anything or are you just gonna keep staring at me? It’s annoying,” you ask Sirius, not diverging your attention from the book you were reading.

“You... you look good today,” he says with the clear of a throat.

“Thanks?!” You sound unimpressed, eyes still on the book.

Sirius reflects on what to say next whilst studying you. He adored the way your brows furrowed when you were concentrated on something. He adored the way you used to bite your lower lip when you were reading about a particularly tricky subject. The way a proud smirk would appear on your lips after you finally got it. He smiled at himself.

“What?” You ask with a brow lifted. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t even realized you looked away from your book and now stared at him.

“Oh, no- nothing,” he recomposes himself quickly.

You roll your eyes and get back to your book. Sirius opened his mouth once again but were rudely interrupted by a female voice.

“Hey, Siri! We still have something to discuss,” a blonde Ravenclaw leans in and hugs him from behind.

“Great! There goes my study session,” you smile mechanically at Sirius, an annoyed grimace on.

The girl looks at you with a despising look before turning back to him and whispering into his ear, “can I steal you for a second?”

“Sorry, love, I’m a little busy here,” he winks apologetically at the girl.

“No, he’s not. Please, take him away. I’ll pay you,” you smile sarcastically at the girl.

“See? Stop wasting your time on this loser, she doesn’t even want you here,” the girl says, sliding to his lap.

The whole library was watching the scene unfolding with great interest as you stood up from your seat and got around the table, walking until you were face to face with the Ravenclaw. You prop both of your hands on top of the table and lean in, your nose almost touching hers.

“Funny thing hearing you call me a loser when I’m the one getting his whole attention whilst you’re so desperately begging for it. I’d say you’re the loser here, but you’re way too pathetic to even be called one, hun,” you say with a smile.

Sirius looked ecstatic at you, a wide and proud grin shining on his face. Winking at him, you grab your book and walk towards the exit. Sirius could feel his cheeks heating up.

***

“I’m heading to the Great Hall for dinner, James is coming with me!” Lily shouts through the bathroom door.

“Save me a seat, please!” You scream back at your friend while you were freshening up. Since you were going to apologize to Preston for the little show Sirius and you had put up during your date, you might as well look dashing whilst doing so. Loosening your hair down, you run your hands though it and check yourself one more time in the mirror before leaving the dorm.

The hallways were already empty and deserted as you walked through them on your way to the Great Hall. You were revising what you were going to say to Preston in your head when you felt a sudden pull and soon you were staring into Sirius’ grey eyes.

“What now?” You asked annoyed at him with an eye roll.

“I wanted to apologize. For not saying anything when Morgana called you a loser,” he looked into your eyes intensely.

“Well, I clearly didn’t need your help, besides, why would I care about what your stupid little conquers think of me anyway?” You say, an anguished scrunch on your face.

“Good point,” he gives you a saddened frown before lowering his head and staring at the ground.

“Is that everything you want to apologize for? How about apologizing for ruining all of the dates I ever got?”

As he continued to stare quietly at the ground, you proceeded to talk.

“Why do you do this to me, Sirius?“ You ask with a trembling voice.

He turns around and starts walking away without facing you.

“Oh, no! You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to screw my life over and over again and just turn around and leave!” You exclaim at him and he stops walking. “Don’t you think I can be enough to someone? Don’t you think I deserve to be wanted and desired? Don’t you think I deserve to be fucking loved?” You were on the verge of tears as you stared at his back.

“It’s not like that, Y/N... it’s not like that at all,” he whispers almost inaudibly.

“Then what is it like, Sirius? What is it like? You tell me, right here, right now. Or you just leave me be. For good.”

He turns to face you, his face filled with anguish.

“Fine, I’ll tell you. I didn’t crash every single one of your dates so far because I think you deserve to be miserable and lonely for the rest of your life. How could you even think that? I did it because none of those gits deserved you! I did it because they weren’t enough for you. Do you wanna know what is it like? It’s like that,” he blurts out, cupping your face with his hands and crashing his lips into yours with a burning passion.

You are caught by surprise at first but soon open your mouth, giving him your permission to deepen the kiss. As he does so, he slides his hands to your lower back, pulling you as close as possible to him as if he was afraid this moment could turn out to be just a figment of his imagination. You grabbed his hair with your hands as the kiss became more and more hungrily, wishing the two of you could stay like this, in this hallway, forever.

Breaking the kiss to catch a breath, Sirius bury his face in the crook of your neck, his arms around your waist tightening their grip. “I do think you deserve to be loved. And you are. You are loved by me, Y/N.”

[bellylivesthepoguelife]

Overwhelmed. John B x Sarah

Request: Hi! How about a college related drabble? Sarah is super overwhelmed with exams coming up and calls John B starting to panic. He comes to see her and plans a whole night to distract her and comfort her 🥰

Word Count: 1.7K

A/N: I know that I didn’t QUITE follow the whole request on this, but it was getting a bit long, so I hope that makes up for it! I wrote this after I wrote the 500 words of pure angst for these two, so I apologize if it’s a little too angsty. Also, I’m still trying to get comfortable writing the comedic/banter parts of a lot of the pogues relationships. (I’m just not naturally witty so I really have to try!) Anyways, I hope you like it! Please let me know what you think!

Heroes and Villains of the Middle Ages was not a class that Sarah Cameron would have ever taken for fun. But when it satisfied one of her General Education requirements, it's not like she really had much of a choice in the matter. The fact that the professor was about as fascinating as the girls from high school that messaged her saying she'd be a "perfect fit" for joining their pyramid marketing business didn't help. So having to write an essay on 4 chapters of her "textbook" (each chapter ranging anywhere between 30-50+ pages long) was grating her brain, as she legitimately has zero desire to complete it.

An hour into her attempt to read the assigned chapters had her overwhelmed. She couldn't even pretend to find the content interesting, she had no clue how she was going to write a 1,000 word essay on it, and to put the icing on the cake: this was one of four that needed to be completed in the next two weeks as part of her final exam. Exasperated at the thought, she throws the book half way across the room as she finished the second chapter. Making it halfway through warrants a break, right?

She scrolls through instagram to allow her brain to run on auto-pilot for awhile. She scrolls past a photo JJ posted 43 minutes ago, of him, John B, and Kie hanging out at the Chateau. JJ snapped the photo, Kie leaning into him, laughing, while John B is in the background making a "you-caught-me-doing-something-I-shouldn't-have" face, no doubt saying something resulting in the laughs from the other two.

The picture makes her smile. Not just because it's of her friends, but also because between John B and JJ, they'll do just about anything to make their friends laugh. It causes her heart to flutter, and she decides to call him to further distract herself.

It doesn't take long for him to pick up, but it's not John B who answers the phone, it's JJ. "Hey Princess! How's college treatin' ya?!"

"Busy, boring, and yet still somehow not captivating enough to keep me from missing you."

"Oh, so you do miss me."

She rolled her eyes, "of course I do JJ."

"Not as much as you miss JB though, I'm sure." There's a pause, but before she can respond he's rushing out the words: "Oh, speaking of! Okay, Here's John B, I'll talk to you later, love you bye!"

She can tell John B is pulling the phone away from him by the decrescendo of his voice as he gets farther from the microphone. However, the sound of her boyfriends voice filling the speaker at her ear makes her smile even more.

"Hey Val." He greets, and she can tell he's smiling.

"Vlad. I must say it is nice to know that JJ misses me. Even though he won't admit it in as many words."

"Yeah, I think it's safe to say we all do."

"Is Kie still there?"

"Nah, she has to work tomorrow so she went home about 20 minutes ago. How did you know she was over?"

"I saw the picture JJ posted on instagram."

"Ahhh, yeah, that would explain it." She heard him walking around, saying goodnight to JJ before closing what she assumed was the door to his bedroom.

"Did y'all have fun?"

"We did- JJ what the hell, I just told you goodnight." He must have opened the door to John B's room.

Sarah could hear JJ say, "yeah but I didn't say goodnight to Princess! Night Princess!" He calls louder, making sure she can hear him.

"Goodnight JJ!" She calls back, knowing she was more than likely on speaker phone.

"Night Birdshit!" is the last thing she hears before she hears the door slam.

John B is back on the phone in an instant. "I swear, I might actually kill him tonight."

She laughs at their antics, and a bittersweet feeling settles in her chest as she realizes just how much she misses her friends.

"So," John B starts again, "How's your homework coming?"

Sarah scoffs. "Don't remind me."

"That bad?"

"It's just this class is so boring!" He's heard her rant about it a million times, but he lets her do it again. "I mean, it's a 400 level class. And I understand those are the more difficult ones, but--fuck--this is hard, and it's not even interesting in the slightest!"

"Which makes it only about a million times worse."

"It does!" She agrees, thankful that he's empathetic to her suffering. "And I have my Chemistry final next week, and my English 102 research paper due the week after. Nevermind the final project for my Geology, and Quantitative Reasoning class that I've only just started on--" She's ranting, and she knows it.

"Woah. Easy there, Val." He chuckles despite her. "You'll work yourself up."

"I am worked up!" The more she talks, the more overwhelmed she gets, and soon she realizes she's pacing her small room. "I just want to come home." The confession almost stuns her as she's catapoulted into a sea of homesickness, and even the knowledge that she'll be home for the summer in two weeks time doesn't even begin to calm the waves.

"You'll be home in a couple weeks, babe. Just 2 more, and then you're mine for the summer."

She knows he's trying to change her perspective, but she's not in the mood tonight. She's sad, and wants the space to allow herself to be sad. A half-hearted "yeah" is all she manages.

"Hey," John B doesn't miss the dejected tone of her voice, realizing how upset she truly is. "It's gonna be alright, Val. 2 more weeks is a piece of cake after the past seven months."

They'd seen each other since she started college, of course, but even then, the last time they were together was when she came home for Wheezie's lacrosse game 5 weeks ago. And after spending almost every day of last summer together, the distance began to do it's damage. Not on their relationship, no, their relationship was still so, so good. It was just on nights like tonight, when she was so overwhelmed that no matter what she thought of, it only made the drowning feeling three times worse.

She feels her throat tighten and before it even registers that she's getting emotional, she feels the gentle pricks behind her eyes indicating it won't be long and she'll be crying. "It's just really hard right now." She confesses, annoyed with how her voice is full of emotion, which is going to cause John B to go into his protective, "I'll-be-your-hero-and-fix-everything" mode.

And sure as shit, his tone becomes softer, and he's building her up. "I know it is, Sarah, but you're doing so well. I know this has been an adjustment for you, and for us, and it hasn't been easy, but you've been doing so well. You're killing it at college, and you only have these last two weeks, these last exams and projects and then you're home for the summer."

She nods, knowing that he's speaking truth, but still feeling discouraged. "It's just, everything's happening at once right now, and I'm just so overwhelmed, and there's just so much pressure riding on these last projects, and--I just want you."

"What do you mean?" She can tell he's laughing at her rambling confession.

"I mean I just want you. I miss you, John B." Great, that broke the dam, and now she's really crying. "I miss hugging you, and kissing you, and just being next to you. Because at least when I was home and busy, we were still together. Now I have to do all of this by myself, and I just feel so alone, and I just want to come home." She didn't intend to share all of these subconscious thoughts and feelings when she called him on the phone. She had initially just called for a distraction, and to see how JJ and Kie were doing. But sometimes the breakdowns come when you least expect them.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" The question is not how she expected him to respond.

She sniffs, thinking through what her Saturday plans were. "I'm- going to finish this essay, probably work on my projects, and study?" She phrases it like a question, even though she's answering his. After hearing silence for a little too long, she adds, "Why?"

"I'm on my way."

"What?" If she wasn't expecting him to ask what she was doing tomorrow, she REALLY doesn't expect him to say he's coming to see her at 10pm on a Friday.

"What do you mean you're on your way."

"I'm coming to see you." He answers as if it's the simplest thing in the world. She can hear his smile as he talks, probably patting himself on the back for being the hopeless romantic, her knight in shining armor, coming to distract her from her scholarly obligations.

"John B, you don't have to do that." Of course, she wants him to. But it's a ways to drive, and she knows his van isn't cheap to fill with gas.

"Shut up Val." He laughs. "I'm going to spend the weekend with you. But on one condition." He thinks, and then doubles back. "Okay, two conditions."

She rolls her eyes, always thinking there's no way she can be more in love with this man, and then he does stuff like this to prove her wrong. "And what are your conditions?"

"One. You have to write your essay. And I'm going to help you study. You don't just get a 'get out of jail free' card just because your man is coming to see you." He gets her to laugh with that one.

"My man?"

"Yes. That is what I am, isn't it? Your man?"

"Sure. And what's the second condition?"

"You have to buy me my own bag of Skinny Pop." Her eyes automatically roll for probably the 15th time tonight. "Okay, agreed. I will go to the store, and buy you your own bag of Skinny Pop."

"And you can't have any of it." He ammends.

"Alright, fine. And I won't have any of it." She grudgingly agrees.

"Deal."

"Deal."

"That settles it then! I'm on my way!"

"Drive safe, loser."

"I love you, Sarah."

She smiles to herself. "I love you too, John B."

"I'm serious though, don't eat my Skinny Pop before I get there."

[adenei]

Bad Blood

Written for The House Cup Competition - Standard. For this challenge, we were given a list of pairings to choose from and write a story. This is very much out of the wheelhouse of anything I write, so I wasn't going to post it here, but I figure I haven't posted anything lately, and y'all have been leaving my prompt/ask box empty so...

This is a [negative pairing] story about Remus Lupin and Marlene McKinnon. It was so hard to write Remus negatively because I love him. There's not much I know about Marlene, so it was kind of fun to play around with her character! There's a wee bit of Jily thrown into the mix, so I hope y'all give this a chance! It's quite angsty, but I enjoyed writing the Marauders era!

Bad Blood

“Hey, Remus,” Marlene McKinnon called from the other end of the corridor.

Remus cringed as he pretended not to hear her. His feet kept moving swiftly as he made his way to the library where he was supposed to tutor some younger Gryffindors before dinner. Unfortunately, Marlene didn’t give up and leave him alone. 

“Didn’t you hear me calling?” Marlene asked as she sidled up next to him.

“Oh, hi Marlene. I didn’t, no,” he said curtly.

“Are you headed to the library?” she asked. Merlin, couldn’t she take a hint?

“Yes, I’m due to tutor a group of third years, and I’m running late. So if you don’t—”

“I’m heading there, too!” Marlene said quickly, cutting him off. “We can walk together,” she said with a sweet smile.

“Er…” 

Remus always had a hard time saying no. He was the voice of reason with his inner circle of friends, always trying to see the good in people. With Marlene, though, she was getting to be a bit much.

Dismissing his hesitation, Marlene pushed on with her chatty nature. “So, are you going to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

“Haven’t decided,” Remus responded shortly.

It wasn’t exactly a lie, since he technically hadn’t. Sirius had his own date with a fellow seventh year Ravenclaw he’d been seeing recently, and Peter was serving detention because he broke a set of glass vials in Potions today. Slughorn was furious. James was trying to convince Remus to join him and Lily, but he had his reservations and didn’t want to be a third wheel.

“Oh, well, I’m free if you want to go together?” Marlene asked while she fluttered her eyelashes up at him.

Remus tried not to outwardly cringe, though he felt his insides shrivel in annoyance. This had to stop. This was the fifth time she’d approached him about going to Hogsmeade together. Apparently, politeness wasn’t going to work anymore. They reached the doors of the library and Remus stopped and turned to Marlene. 

“I appreciate your tenacity, but in tandem with the other four times you’ve asked me this year, it’s a no. I’m not interested.”  

Remus turned quickly so he didn’t have to see the hurt look on her face. He wasn’t Sirius. He couldn’t just turn someone down and not feel anything. So he chose the cowardly way out, as he quickly opened the door to the library.  Marlene was left standing speechless outside the doors.

****

“The nerve of him!” Marlene complained to Lily.

“What did Sirius do this time?” Lily asked with an eye roll.

Marlene laughed derisively, “Not Sirius, Remus! You’re awful at paying attention to things ever since you let James into your life.”

“Remus would never hurt a fly—” Lily started to say.

“Ha! That’s what he wants you to think! But you weren’t there. Nooo! You didn’t witness the way he treated me outside the library!”

“Mar, I’m sure it’s nothing,” Lily defended, in an attempt to keep the peace between her friends and James’.

“It most certainly is not nothing! What have I done? I didn’t even specify that I wanted it to be a date! What is wrong with him that he won’t let anyone else in besides James, Sirius and Peter? Is he hiding some dark secret or something?”

Lily shoved her nose closer to the parchment as she wrote her essay, hoping that Marlene wouldn’t catch the slight blush on her face. She’d only just learned about Remus’ condition, and had sworn to James she wouldn’t tell a soul.

“Maybe he’s just introverted,” Lily offered, hoping to take Marlene off the scent.

“Well, he doesn’t have to be a jerk about it!” Marlene complained. “Maybe I just wanted to go as friends! To get to know him a bit better! Not everything has to be a date just because we’re seventeen!” 

Lily shot her a look. “But you want to be more than friends, and you and I both know it, so stop trying to talk your way out of that.”

Marlene stuck out her tongue in a rather unbecoming manner. “Correction: wanted to be more than friends. Not anymore! Now, what am I going to do? Go to Hogsmeade alone? Stay in the castle and be bored out of my mind?” Her pout turned into an evil grin when she developed another thought. 

“Ohh, what if I go wherever Remus goes. If he stays here, I’ll just happen to stay back in the Common Room or the library to study across from him. Give him a constant reminder of what he could have had if he just gave me a chance!”

Lily set her quill down. “Marlene, you’re crossing the line to creepy. Just let it go. Why don’t you join James and me at The Three Broomsticks for a drink? That way you can get out of the castle and not be alone all day. Then, you can go do whatever shopping you need to accomplish and head back up to the castle.”

Marlene folded her arms and thought about what Lily had offered. The sour look began to dissolve on her face. “I guess I could do that. Only if James promises not to be a prat, and that it won’t feel like I’m the third wheel.”

“You know I can’t promise a prat-free James, but I’ll do my best to make it not feel like you’re tagging along on a date. How’s that?” Lily reasoned.

Marlene’s eyes turned upward as she thought about the proposed plan. “Okay, I suppose that will work.”

*****

“Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. Marlene McKinnon asked you on a date, and you turned her down?” James asked Remus.

“You weren’t there! You didn’t hear how pushy she was being, James! This is the fifth time she’s pressed the issue! I had no choice, but to turn her down. I’m not interested!”

“She’s not really that bad, Rem,” James countered.

“I never used to think so either, but I can’t stand it when people don’t take no for an answer! If that was me pushing her and she said no, I’d get detention for harassing her!”

“I think that’s a little extreme—”

“It is not! Look, I am perfectly fine keeping to myself. I don’t need to date anyone. I’m too dangerous. It’s bad enough that you three and Lily know.”

“You wouldn’t have to—” James tried to cut in, but Remus held up a hand to interrupt him.

“Can you imagine if she found out? She’s one of the head gossipers in this school. That’d be the end of me! I’ve gotten this far, and I’m not about to ruin it by laying false trust in her. I don’t know how Lily can stand her.”

James snorted. “Is this one of those things you’re going to ask me not to repeat?”

“What do you think? When you and Lily are too busy making eyes at each other in Transfiguration, I have to listen to her drone on and on about who broke up with who, or what the latest trend is in Witch Weekly. Doesn’t she ever get tired of hearing herself talk?”

James wasn’t used to hearing Remus go off like this. He always tried to be a pillar of reservation and neutrality. “Tell me how you really feel, Moon.”

“That is how I really feel!”

“Alright, alright. So Marlene’s just a pretty face, but pushy as hell. Anything else you want to vent about?”

“Have I mentioned how overbearing she is?”

“Once or twice.”

“Then I think I’m good. I’m sorry, I don’t normally complain about people,” Remus apologized.

“No need to apologize, Moony! I’m loving this side of you!” James said.

“Well, don’t get used to it. Looks like I’ll be spending another Hogsmeade weekend in the castle,” Remus sighed.

“Why don’t you join Evans and I? We’re going to The Three Broomsticks this time. Have a drink with us, get out for a bit. The full moon’s not for another week; why don’t you try to enjoy yourself for once. Let loose a bit?”

“I don’t know, Prongs,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“It’s one drink. That’s all I’m asking. Please? You and Lily can talk potions, or whatever it is you two geek out over,” James pressed, knowing Remus would fold when his favorite subject was mentioned.

“Fine, but only one drink,” Remus conceded.

****

James and Remus were sitting at a table in the Three Broomsticks when Lily and Marlene walked in. “Is this some kind of sick joke?” Marlene asked, immediately rounding on Lily.

“What are you talking about?” Lily asked. 

“Very funny, Lily. What is he doing here?” 

Lily looked in the direction that Marlene was pointing, and was shocked to see Remus sitting with James. “I—I have no idea. Why don’t we go and see? I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation—” Before Lily could finish, Marlene was already storming over to the table.

“So, you couldn’t accept my invitation to go to Hogsmeade, but you can come here with James and taunt me over it?” Marlene seethed.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here,” Remus responded coldly to her as he glared at James.

“Well, Lily invited me to spend the afternoon with her and James, so you can go get to your studying, or whatever excuse you had to not accompany me today,” Marlene said with a snarl.

“And James invited me for one drink, so I’m committed to staying for that as well,” Remus said, not backing down.

“I’m going to go get a drink,” Lily said quickly, noticing that there were only three on the table. 

“I’ll come with you!” James said as he shot out of his seat. “I’ll be right back,” he mouthed to Remus.

Marlene and Remus both sat at the table and stared indignantly at each other. It was almost as if they were in a contest of who could glare silently at the other longest. It was Marlene who finally broke the silence.

“What did I ever do to you anyway?” she asked. “I’ve been nothing but nice to you over the last seven years!’

Remus was taking a sip of his Butterbeer and almost snorted it out of his nose. “You’ve been nice to my face, but who knows what you may have said behind my back. I’ve heard the things you say about Sirius and Peter, and even James before he started dating Lily. Why would I want to place myself in the presence of someone as toxic as you?”

He’d probably regret his words later on, but he always tended to get moodier a week before the full moon hit. Controlling his anger was difficult, and of course James had sought refuge at the bar, leaving him completely vulnerable.

“I’ve never had a single mean thing to say about you until this week! You deserve it now after the way you treated me. Apparently, your niceties and caring air is just a facade for your standoffish self-righteousness. I should have known you were too good to be true!”

Lily and James returned as Marlene finished her latest insult. They eyed the two nervously as they sat back down. Remus was seeing red, and it didn’t take James long to catch the wolfish look in his eyes. 

He put a hand on Remus’ shoulder and said under his breath, “Easy there Moony.”

This brought Remus down slightly from the rage he was feeling. “Well, I’m sorry you took my disinterest for rudeness. Perhaps you should grow a thicker skin,” he said through gritted teeth.

Marlene was ready to respond when Lily intervened. “So, how about Sluggy’s Potions essay? I’m personally having a difficult time looking up the ingredients for Mopses Potion without utilizing the Restricted Section.”

Lily’s diversion was enough to prevent more arguing amongst Marlene and Remus, but did not help the next hour pass by any faster. The tension between the two never dissipated, and the awkwardness remained, as neither made an effort to keep the conversation flowing. Eventually, both decided they had enough and took their leave.

“Thanks for the lovely afternoon, Lily,” Marlene said, sarcasm dripping from her words as she glared at Remus.

“Yes, James. It was positively splendid. Now I know what I’ve been missing out on when I stay at the castle. I’ll see you later,” Remus said with a look that told James he’d be receiving an earful later.

James shot a grimace at Lily as they watched the two head for separate exits. “Well, that was a disaster.”

[fydream]

“Hey! You’re y/n, right?” A boy with warm smile says approaching you.

“Uhm. Yeah..” You reply, tucking your phone away hoping he didn’t see you tweeting about him. He glances over at the desk next to you only to see that there’s someone’s stuff on it.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t notice, is someone sitting here?” The boy asks.

“Oh no- sorry. It’s uhm- it's my stuff.” You reply quietly, moving your bag so he could take the seat next to yours. He seems fairly nice, and pretty cute not to say the least. Not to mention he’s also the only person who’s talked to you so far, so you decide to trust him.

Jeno seems to notice you look nervous so he decides to play it cool, for now. He also makes his first mental note, shy.

“I noticed you looked lonely and probably needed help with this worksheet, huh?”

You nod watching him take out a small black pencil case. Minimalistic, you think. 

“Oh! I just realized I didn’t introduce myself. My name’s Jeno.” He greets while doing a small wave. “I know you’ll probably get tired of the ‘why’d you move here?’ type of questions so, what’s your favorite color?”

You smile. You for one are thankful he didn’t ask you that. You didn’t really want to go into the topic right now because the truth being the only reason why you moved back is because your mom lost her job and couldn’t afford to live in your apartment anymore. It was smart that she decided to just rent your old house because from her words “who knows what’ll happen?” It makes you happy though, to know that your mom still thought ahead, and it makes you more happy to know that your mom kept in touch with Donghyuck’s parents, after all they've done so much for you, the least your mom could do to repay them was keep in contact after you moved.

“Oh uhm, it’s more of a color combination of blue, tan, and brown? I guess? I know it sounds weird but it’s really pretty. It reminds me of the ocean and the beach.” You smile.

“No no, it’s not weird! I think it’s nice. It’s hard to find some people who like earth tones these days.” He sighs. 

In reality he's more relieved that you didn’t comment on his name, so maybe there is hope after all. Maybe Donghyuck didn’t tell you what happened at all.

“Right?! Ugh, they’re really nice to paint with too!” You exclaim, eyes lighting up. It catches Jeno off guard due to him being lost in the little victory he just had. 

“You paint?” He asks you. 

“Only sometimes, when I get bored or have nothing better to do.” You giggle “I also keep a journal! Though I’m not good at updating it, it’s nice to keep.”

Jeno takes note of how excited you got once he brought up art, and he makes another mental note: Artistic, check.

There’s a small smile on Jeno’s face. It makes you happy to see that there’s at least one person at this school that isn’t Hyuck and his posse that would be willing to be your friend. 

The two of you end up chatting the whole class period away and not finishing the worksheet your teacher had assigned to you, making it homework. It makes you sad because you wanted to finish it in class and turn it in right away to give a good first impression to your teacher, but sadly Jeno had taken all your attention. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Jeno apologizes quickly when he hears the bell ring. “Ahhh I can’t believe we didn’t get any work done, I’m so sorry for preoccupying you!”

“No no it’s okay!” You exclaim. “I mean making a new friend is better than doing some shitty review worksheet, am I right?” You joke.

“Yeah.. I guess.” He sighs, packing his stuff up. “Oh hey! Before you go can I get your number?” He asks, handing you his phone. “So y’know, we can talk more I guess.. haha..”

In that moment all Jeno can think about is you taking his phone and typing your number in. c’mon.. take it.. please work. he thinks, and it does.

The question catches you off guard at first, you didn’t think that someone would be talk to you in the first place but to also be willing to continue to talking to you out of class? Now that’s an offer you can’t deny.

“Oh yeah sure! Here’s my phone.” You say handing yours over.

Bingo, Jeno thinks as he types his phone number into your contacts. Thank god for psychology.

“So, what’s your next class?” You ask as the two of you walk out of the classroom, into the now crowded hallway. 

“Ah, it’s english.” He replies. 

“Oh.” You say, kind of disappointed. Jeno seems to notice the hint of disappointment in your voice and makes another note of that.

“I have... study hall.” You say, pulling up your schedule on your phone.

“Lucky you.” He pouts.

“Not really. I don’t have much work to do besides the one worksheet from earlier and I don’t really know anyone so I might just take a nap haha.” 

“Still, beats working on an essay.” He sighs. “Anyways, this is my class!” He says, taking a turn into the cluster on the right of you. “Bye y/n! I’ll text you later?”

“Will do!!” You yell back at him.

You smile, maybe your senior year wouldn’t be too bad. Now if only you could find your study hall classroom..

09 | previous | next | m.list | main m.list |

✰ how to be a heartbreaker

↳ so what happens when park jisung, the school’s infamous fuckboy runs into the new girl at school? out of boredom he decides it’ll be fun to have someone new to play with, but little does he know, she’s learning how to be a heartbreaker.

[milkygcf]

Hi i'd luv 2 req. A bully jungkook x reader e2l fic pls 🥺 5k~ tysm!

//credits go to @jjoon for the gif!//

Pairing | jjk x reader

Genre | e2l, bully!jungkook, college au

Warnings | mild cursing

Summary | ❝ Hi i'd luv 2 req. A bully jungkook x reader e2l fic pls 🥺 5k~ tysm!❞

Word Count | 5.4k

Author’s Note | hi anon! i’m sorry this took so long to write ... this really inspired me to write a full fic! i had to cramp in as much as i could and hopefully it goes to your liking ❤ thank you for your request!  ________________________________________________________________

When you hoped for the best college experience, you didn’t mean to bring Jeon Jeongguk along with you. As far as you knew, he had other plans for a different school - so why did you end up spending a year and a half of college facing the worst each day?

It started when you accidentally spilt his juice all over his study notes when a friend of yours jokingly pushed you. From that very day on, he’s been firing you up almost every day of seeing you within his sight. Making you seethe when he steps into your vision. Despite apologizing and offering to rewrite his notes for him, he still made it his mission to make college incredibly agonizing for you.

For example, all the times he’s made you feel like pure, utter shit. 

Unlike what his looks demonstrated, Jeon Jeongguk was an absolute bully. You have all the evidence to back this up. 

And that so happens to be at this very second as he scribbles all over your essays, vandalizing them with random characters from the games he spends all night playing. “Stop that-!” You cry out, watching your clean work melt into a behemoth of a mess before you. 

“Stop? Your notebook’s boring - I’m just adding more life to it!”

The look on his face symbolizes the devil incarnate himself. Jeongguk was devilishly handsome, except for the fact that he was the bane of your existence. 

Handsome?

God forbid he ever finds out you think of him like that.

“No,” You let out an exasperated huff, “You’re just earning me a bad reputation! Can’t you just fuck off?” Frankly, you’re just wasting precious time and energy, because no matter how many times you urge him to piss off, he wouldn’t budge. He’d keep on being a complete brat.

Nothing was on your side when it came to Jeongguk - not even the gods themselves.

Truly, you deem yourself as the most patient person to ever walk this earth. You say this out of the experience. But when Jeongguk steps into the picture? You want to give him a good kick to the balls because he was simply so aggravating.  

Your friends know well of this yet they look at the situation in another light. A light which leaves you effectively deceived. 

As you stomp towards your local buddies, you could hear the faint “Ah, here we go again,” leaving Seokjin’s lips as they all brace themselves for your routined outburst. It’d be surprising if you didn’t do this on the daily.

“I can’t believe him!” Your voice booms, agonized and worn out as you tumble onto an empty seat, letting yourself sink into the warmth of your arms. Attention attracts itself to you, but you couldn’t bother. Humiliation has nothing on the daily hardships you face - literally - every day. 

“What did he do this time?” Jimin and Seokjin mutter in unison, watching you practically deflate in front of them. Honestly, what didn’t he do? Nowadays, whenever he even breaths your way, you deem it a huge inconvenience. Unfortunate. 

How exactly is this unfortunate? You happened to be best friends with someone who’s very fond of your arch-nemesis, and that is Park Jimin. It’s either because he’s a libra or the heathen hypnotized him into blooming a friendship together. Countless times the beam of smiles tried his best to convince you that Jeon was an angel at heart.

You beg to differ. 

With a distraught face, you look up at both of them. “He scribbled all over my essay - that little twerp is going to ruin me.” Words of truth. It’s not that deep - it isn’t. You offered to rewrite his notes, he was the one who decided to be all salty about the matter. Salty enough to make your life a living hell, that is. 

“Wouldn’t you consider the fact that maybe his intentions aren’t to just be a bitch to you?” Jimin chirps in, wincing.

“You’re kidding. How many times do we have to go through this?”

“As many times as we need to,” Seokjin intervenes, letting out a fatigued sigh. To put it simply, he has way too many other things to be focused on right now besides your incessant whining. He loves you dearly, but having to listen to you ramble on and on about your rivalry with Jeon drains him to the last drop. “Haven’t you thought about clearing things with him? Perhaps it’s all a misunderstanding.”

“Over my dead body! He’s the one who started it, I already did my part of the job.”

If there was one word to describe you, it would be dense. This was on him, even if it bothered you to ends. Seokjin and Jimin knew this very well - they also knew that they were wasting their breaths with you, but it was worth a shot either way. 

And so it was left at that. 

As winter break approaches, you find yourself growing ecstatic as each day passes. Once you finally catch yourself a break, you’d be able to scatter away from the plight that is Jeon Jeongguk. Likewise, the man himself. You’re pretty sure he finds your mere presence a disgrace by the way there’s always a scowl tugging at his lips, or perhaps the devilish tricks he pulls on you until you can no longer take it and scurry off.

Jimin, much to his pleasure, compelled you into signing up to help with the school dance alongside him. Eventually, you caved in, albeit protesting that you’d rather use your free time binging whatever show Netflix recommended you. No one can bypass Jimin’s charms and the way his lips turn into a pout as he pleads to you. 

And, well, perhaps you did need to be more productive.

So in reality, your best bud was doing you a favour. 

How hard could it be anyway? All you had to do was decorate and help plan the catering, maybe throw in a few song suggestions. If possible, even cop yourself a date - you’d hate to weigh down Seokjin and Jimin just because you were looking sulky in a corner with your only friend being a cup of cranberry punch. 

“You’re not going to bail on me last second, are you?” The brunet queries, looking at you cautiously with his eyes twinkling. Despite his teasing and constant pulling to get you to do things with him, you know he’d never force you into something displeasing. 

You give him a look. “Gosh, what do you take me for? I promised you, didn’t I? You just have to make sure you keep your side of the deal.” A grin blooms onto his features. Right - he promised you a meal at your favourite diner for accompanying him. That way, he knew you’d accept for sure. 

The hall is crowded with students, bustling with chatter as they discuss their excitement for the dance. You have to admit, it was an event to look forward to. To catch your breath and enjoy a moment of peace in a place that you can call a second home. And to top it off, it’s with the people you see every day who, just like you, are there to study for a future. 

Understandably, you have no idea who half of the student body was, but it still felt like family. 

Jimin instantly finds himself one of the coordinators and advises them about your presence whilst you fumble behind him rather nervously. “What exactly do we have to do?” You mumble to him, taking a good look around. The place seems way too dull when it’s not enriched with DIY banners and colourful lights adorning every nook and cranny of the room. 

“Our duty for today is decorating. The theme’s pretty sparkly this year.”

“Isn’t it always like that?”

A voice is quick to interrupt your conversation, making you practically dart around to see the source of it. And it’s no surprise when you come face to chest - curse his height - with the very being you’ve grown to dislike over the months. He was here, in the hall, helping. 

Just when you thought you’d be able to hide from Jeongguk, he proves you wrong. Like a predator hunting its prey. 

“Gguk!” Jimin exclaims mirthfully, wrapping an arm around your sworn enemy. You really can’t help but worry for him. Ah, it is what it is. “I didn’t think you’d be joining this year.” 

“You know I’d never miss an opportunity to help around. But,” he pauses, averting his gaze to you with a quirk of an eyebrow. “It’s a surprise you brought Y/N along.”

“I’m sorry?” You gasp rather too dramatically, earning the attention of those around you. Jimin bursts into laughter, shaking his head at your antics. This is betrayal at its finest - laughing at your misery, you might as well drop him this very second.

“Apology accepted.”

That fuels you even more. Your blood boils under the layers of your skin. God, couldn’t he get any less arrogant? “I can’t stand you,” you breathe out, scoffing. “Is there a rule that I can’t give a helping hand by any chance?”

Jimin watches all of this unfurl. If anything’s worth pure entertainment, it was the two of you. “Not if you run around with a stick up your ass,” Jeongguk replies with a measly roll of the eyes, “This won’t be any fun with you here.”

“Alright you two, cut it out.” 

In all honesty, you doubt how fun that'll be. With him around, no one knows about the perils he could throw at you to prove his disdain. Your life could be in danger as you speak. What if you were walking around and he stuck his foot out for you?

Jeongguk clicks his tongue. “See you around Park - you should hop over to the sound room later. We could use your help.” 

And that’s another encounter with Jeon Jeongguk for the day, much to your annoyance. You could see the way the brunet turns to look at you with a soft smile on his face, a small, reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Lighten up, it won’t be that bad.”

“My ass.”

“Y/N!” 

---

Truthfully speaking, it isn’t all that bad. You’ve grown to interact more with everyone else - surprisingly. Not only that, but you were given the blissful pleasure to befriend what seems to be God’s favourite specimen, Kim Taehyung.  

If you didn’t know any better, you’d assume he was God himself.

Amid all these students, there’s Taehyung who you secretly claim as the light of your life. You’d be surprised if someone didn’t know him or of his presence in the hall, he truly stuck out brighter than all the sparkling decor being hung around the walls and on stage.

“Y/N-! Catch!” 

If you weren’t quick enough, you would’ve been hit with a small pack of glitters straight to the head. Even worse, they could’ve opened and left you in a glittery mess. Laughter bubbles out of the man’s lips - music to your ears. You adore the way his locks bounce with each move he makes. 

“That was pretty hazardous - I’m sorry, I’ll make sure to hand them over to you more politely next time.”

“I caught them, didn’t I?” You smile, letting the item dangle lightly from the tips of your fingers. Taehyung continues to beam, his pearly whites put all on show. You’re pretty sure you’ve never seen anything as beautiful as the man before you. Oh, and not to mention his voice. That golden bundle of harmony. 

“Surprisingly,” Jeongguk butts in, snickering. And here it is again - like a comedic show, ready to make you the laughing stock. “Would’ve been hilarious to see you covered in pink glitters.”

“Ggukkie!”

Ggukie? If it wasn’t for the respect you hold for other people’s comfortableness, you would’ve bent over and hurled. It would’ve been a cute nickname if it wasn’t directed at the fiend. But it’s fine, you suppose - Taehyung has an endearing way of lacing nicknames.

He’s quick to ruffle the latter’s hair, making shy giggles tumble out of Jeongguk’s mouth. You can only stand and watch, squinting rather annoyingly at him. He was such a joy kill. 

“I need your help with the soundbar,” Jeongguk explains nicely. His tone is gentle and he uses his hands to explain whatever was wrong, much unlike how he interacts with you. It’s in these moments you wonder why he treats you so differently when it was a small inconvenience you’d pulled on him months ago. 

“No can do,” the elder tells him, scratching the back of his head. “I have to help Namjoon with the tickets. But I’m sure Y/N can help - didn’t you say you were good with tech?” 

Oh. 

Oh. 

In another life, in the same position you are in now, you would’ve declined and scurried off to avoid him. But, if you think about it, this could be the perfect opportunity to flaunt your knowledge and skill. If he gets to do it, then so can you. 

It’s only fair, no?

You quirk an eyebrow towards the duo. This was your time to shine. “I’m sure he won’t need my help,” you taunt, “Jeonggukie can do everything, can’t he?” 

Silence. He’s like a deer caught in headlights, with the way his eyes widen and his mouth becomes agape. You managed to pull a stunt on him, showing him victory and deeming yourself superior. Kim gives you a peculiar look before offering you a smile. “You’re right - Gguk’s incredibly talented.”

That wasn’t really what you were hoping for. You admit it hurt your pride a little, but there’s no way you were going to put it out on show. Jeongguk can kiss your ass. 

“Uh, whatever. Follow me, I can’t wrap my head around what’s wrong with it.”

You were quite ready to start calling him petty, but as you slowly take in his response, you’re left perplexed. 

Perhaps you’re taking it too far - this is only for a school dance after all. Although you can’t help but stand and stare at him for actually accepting your offer to help. “Hello? Are you going to just stand there? We have other things to do - hurry up.” Curse you Jeon Jeongguk.

“See you later Y/N!”

The chance of copping yourself a hot date to the dance, slowly streaming out of your grasp. 

As you bid your farewell to Taehyung, you let yourself be whisked away by a rather grumpy Jeongguk, who stomps his approach to the sound room. It’s quiet - save for the weight of his rather chunky shoes - and if you may say so yourself, awkward. But nevermind that, you were assigned something to fix. 

He takes you up a flight of stairs - much to your dismay, you weren’t fond of the exercise - and into a tiny, cramped room just on the opposite of the school’s stage. You could see everyone clearly from here - ants scurrying around to get their work done. 

Jeongguk shuffles around behind you - you could feel his build bumping into yours here and there. “Okay, do you know what to do?” 

“Huh?” 

“I said, do you know what to do? Or were you just talking out of your ass?”

God, you can’t stand him. “Can you stop being such a bitch for once? Yes, just give me a few minutes and it’ll be ready.” A huff follows your line of conversation as you squat down to handle the component. He should be grateful you’re sacrificing your sanity to be with him right now. “What exactly is the issue here?” 

There’s silence until your ears prick at the loud sigh that tumbles out of his lips. “Didn’t you hear what I told Tae? The sound keeps cutting.” You hum. 

Your fingers lace around its wires, untangling the unattractive mess they’re in and inspecting whatever could be the problem. Unlike you, Jeon stands as far away as possible, offering you all the space you could need. His eyes watch you carefully, dancing onto every move you make. It’s peaceful, the only sound reverberating through the room being your breaths and the light clinks of the soundbar wires. 

Your fingers start pulling each cable off one by one, setting them aside neatly and letting out a small sigh. Everything was in order, except for the crooked pins inside one of the cables that directly connects to the speaker. You turn to Jeongguk with a raised eyebrow.

“Did you plug these in? You bent the pins.” 

He purses his lips, his hand flying up to scratch the back of his neck. “Guess I was in a hurry - can you fix them?” As he speaks softly, almost shyly, you swear you could see a hint of pink tinting his cheeks.

That’s cute.

“Hand me your credit card.”

“My what?”

“Your credit card - hand it over.” His face displayed pure horror. It’s not like you were going to run off with it - he wanted the soundbar fixed, didn’t he? You extend an arm out towards him, an eyebrow quirked at his hesitation. 

“It’s fine,” an eye roll follows because he genuinely looks like he’s waiting for dinosaurs to resurrect. “I just need it to straighten the pins, yeah? Your card’s going to be back in your wallet before you know it.”

He’s looking at you with worry laced in his features until he’s stuffing his hands in those baggy pants of his and shuffling out his wallet. “You better give it back in one piece.” 

What did he think you were - a heathen? Did he not know just how valuable credit cards were in today’s life? “Whatever,” you huff, fingers diligently wrapping around the piece and instantly starting to work your magic.  

It takes you a few minutes of focus and caution, aligning the component back to its original shape. While you do so, Jeongguk observes cautiously. His eyes fawn over the way you stick your tongue out in concentration or the way you just engulf yourself in your own little world. Jeongguk thinks your hair colour compliments your skin.

You look pretty when you’re not throwing profanities at him. 

It’s the daily entertainment he looks forward to every day. Not a moment goes by that Jeongguk doesn’t think about how to make you boil with fury in a matter of five minutes. Yet despite the delight of it all, he figures it’s about time he gives you a break.  

Maybe a five-minute break - he misses the constant scowl etched onto your features whenever you catch sight of him.

"All done!" You beam, lips stretched wide as your hands perform the last trick. "Put a song on, bunny boy, see if it works."

Jeongguk stutters at the nickname. You, however, didn't realize it rolled down your tongue until it was too late. 

He brushes it off and starts to scrolls through what seemed to be a multitude of playlists on his phone. You eagerly await the melody to boom quietly through the soundbar. However, he seems to be hesitant on what to choose and frankly, he was taking too long.

So you swipe his phone out of his grasp, leaving him clutching his credit card, putting his songs on shuffle. You give yourself the pleasure of coursing through his music taste - it wasn’t that bad. Diverse, to put it simply. 

Kind of like yours. 

“You listen to them too?” There’s an enthusiastic tone to your voice, eyes gleaming over the discography of a group you’ve grown to admire ever so much. They were the good fortune in your life - what was keeping you moving forward. Listening to their music gave you a sense of bliss. 

Jeongguk peeks over your shoulder, his interest piqued as to why you’re so delighted over his music taste. “Hm?” He mumbles to himself, “You follow them?”

“Are you kidding,” you express matter-of-factly, “I don’t just listen to them! They are my heart and soul Jeon. I love them more than taco Tuesday.” 

The last comment sends him hollering, catching you off-guard. You’ve never, in your time spent around him, heard him laugh so heartily before. If you must admit, it sounds melodious. Like the singing of birds in the early morning.

“Taco Tuesday - god, you’re something.”

Heat trickles up your neck to the ends of your ears, leaving you red in front of him.

“Should I take that as a compliment?” A snicker follows. “Well, it’s open for interpretation. Did you go to their last showcase?” You notice the way interest bubbles in the tone of his voice and the way his eyes glimmer with a newfound shine that you can’t quite decipher.

“Hell yeah, I did! It has to be one of their best one yet - they’re hitting it big this time!” 

The room reverberates with joyous laughter, drowning out the low drum of the music playing in the background. It feels rather cumbersome, how one minute you’re at each other’s throats and the other your boisterous laughter mixes. 

Maybe Jeongguk isn’t that bad.   

However, it’s when the laughter dies down that the tension slowly rises. It isn’t thick - nor is it thin, but it’s there. It weighs on your shoulders and watches the inelegance crawl towards you. Jeongguk clears his throat and you find him rubbing the nape of his neck.

“Yeah, uh, I think you should be getting back down there.”

You shake your head heartily, your feet shuffling underneath you. “Could’ve sent a thank you my way you know.” The way it tumbles down your tongue makes it seem like you’re joking. His eyes wander onto you and there’s coral painting his skin again - he looks like a child. With the way his eyes go wide and he starts pursing his lips whenever he finds himself in situations as such. 

“Right - yeah. Thanks, Y/N.”

That’s where another part of your constant feud ends. 

Would you even call that interaction a feud? Technically, you weren’t exactly at each other’s throats this time, despite all you did was fix up the soundbar. It was rather nice. You think a smile on Jeongguk’s handsome features is ravishing - god forbid he ever finds out of the compliment.   

It’s childish. It’s like throwing buckets of water off a sinking ship - useless. For someone attending college, both of you lack the maturity for it. 

Okay, maybe he’s not the only one taking things out of proportion - you can be quite the bitch sometimes. 

New revelation - for the last term, you’ll just drop it. Just like that. Let it unravel however it wishes. 

Yet, it’s quite hilarious how all this took you was a heartfelt moment with the guy.

--- 

It takes you patience, teamwork and hours upon hours of choosing through various types of decorations and goods for the dance. Now that everything is ready - and just in time, if you may add - the event was to be held early in the evening.

Whilst everyone was simply ecstatic for the event, you were pissing yourself. Why exactly is a mystery - your nerves were slowly bursting one by one and you were growing anxious. You had no reason to. 

Seokjin is currently rambling about how elegant his suit was going to look. It makes you admire how he considers a minimal event as something grand - another quality you can’t help but adore about him. Seokjin always makes himself stand out in the best ways. 

Jimin sits by his side pecking at the loose threads of his jumper, eyeing someone which, according to his line of sight, was about a few meters behind you. At his silence, both you and Seokjin quirk an eyebrow.

“Goodness!” Seokjin squawks, sending a light slap to the youth’s shoulder. “All you have to do is ask him to go with you, you raging homosexual!” 

Ah. 

Jimin has had the fattest crush on one of the philosophy guys. He describes him to have the sexiest brain to ever walk the grounds of earth. Frankly, he wasn’t exactly wrong. Kim Namjoon walked the college halls with people behind him practically foaming at the mouth. He, however, didn’t exactly take notice of this. 

The youth’s gawking at the elder amongst you, giving him that specific look at me, now look at him look. “No way. I’m too fond of the pride harboured within me to let it be crushed by someone so unbelievably hot.” 

“Funny, considering you’re ranked one of the best looking to roam this goddamned building,” you comment, rolling your eyes. “Jimin, I bet you the moment you walk into his vision he will be swooning. He can’t say no to you.”

“You think so?”

“With a juicy ass like yours, no, he wouldn’t be able to resist.” 

You feel something shuffle beside you, which you brush off as Seokjin’s feet - it’s not the first time he’d stretch his legs out beside you, just to annoy you. It’s until Jimin’s doubling over with laughter at the sound of someone’s voice that you finally pay mind to. 

Jeongguk chuckles. “Really? I didn’t take you for an ass person, Y/N.” That’s exactly why your ever so lovely best friend - since high school, may you add - was tearing up. Seokjin tries his best to keep his laughter at bay, knowing well you’ll give them hell after this. 

You’re abashed wholly as red inherits your skin from neck to ears. Jeongguk’s very existence was made to shame you - catch you at the most vulnerable moments and have you burden them for as long as you breathe. 

“Where did you come from?”

“From the cafeteria. I came to ask you something.” 

After this presumptuous interaction, you are confident that he may have hit his head this morning. This was more than peculiar, and frankly, it left you perplexed as ever. “Okay, go ahead, shoot.” Interest piques and you notice the way he hesitates before shooting a quick look towards Jimin who grins ever so evilly. 

“Be my date for tonight.” 

That bastard. 

“What?”

“Hello? Can’t you hear? I told you to be my date for tonight.” He says it so straight-forwardly it almost has you toppling over your seat. His face harbours a look that you can’t quite fathom and it irks you. What was he plotting? 

“There’s definitely a catch to this.” Seokjin and Jimin observe quietly, the elder sending the youth a few questionable glares here and there. It seems as if Jimin was the one behind this all - which, if he was, wouldn’t leave you surprised at all. 

What a libra.

Jeongguk shakes his head - you grow soft at the way his locks bob as he does so. “I promise there’s no catch - I just want a date for the dance. That’s all.” It leaves you with a frown hanging on your lips. All he needed was someone to hang by his side.

“And from all the chicks around you ask me?”

There’s silence then - he doesn’t respond, only purses his lips and fiddles with his fingers. He avoids eye contact. You sigh. “Sure - yeah, sure, whatever. I’ll be your date, Jeon.”

“Score!” 

You watch as both Jimin and your new dance date high five before you. The pits of your stomach continue to bubble with anxiety and soon enough you might even think this might be a bet. 

Jeongguk went from provoking you to asking you to be his date.

Seokjin gives you a rather sceptical look, tapping at your hand lightly. “What was that supposed to be?” He asks you, gaze wandering about the two snickering to themselves. You peek at Jeongguk and he seems to be pretty content. You still can’t comprehend just what’s going on in his head, but you conclude that it’s no good. 

“I don’t know, but I hope he doesn’t pull any shit and ruin a good night.”

---

To say you’re beyond nervous is an understanding. 

The both of you agreed to meet at the school gates, and as you step out of the cab you conveniently managed to catch, the situation dawns on you greatly. What happened to being sworn enemies after an unintentional spill?

If you were to look back at the time you’ve spent planning the occasion, you’d say something changed. He doesn’t make your blood boil as much - he presents you that charming smile more often. Not to mention how soft and kind it’d become in contrast to the many devilish grins and disdainful scowls he’d sent your way before. 

You can’t tell if it’s progress or not. 

The building looks rather magical - students loiter around the main entrance with big grins decorating their faces. Their well-prepared looks shimmer under the dim lights radiating from inside the school. 

“Y/N!” Your body instantly freezes at the sound of his voice. You’ve grown used to it over time, but in this specific condition, it shakes you to the core. “Over here!”

Feet trepidatiously coursing over to him, you let your fingers fiddle with your fit. You look presentable to say the least - perhaps not as extravagant as the other people who’ve probably spent half their paycheck on something to wear. Decent, as you would put it. 

“You better not pull anything on me, Jeon,” 

“Why would I?”

Well, why would he? Makes you debate. The behemoth of worries and what-ifs subsides slowly but surely because Jeongguk sounds so sincere. Not to mention the way he’s looking at you right now - it makes you shrink, but in a positive way. He has the faintest of smiles plastered on his lips. 

You don’t know how to feel whatsoever. 

“Listen,” you tell him softly, looking at the ground as if it was the most interesting piece of art. “If… If this is all a joke or a dumb bet with Jimin, cut it out. You’re acting weird.” As a result, you can almost detect the frown drowning his smile as you speak. 

Jeongguk reaches out to hold your hands. If he hadn’t done that, you’re pretty sure you would’ve ruined your somewhat prized possession. His touch is warm - it sends electricity coursing through your veins and leaves you stunned. Your head’s quick to shoot up at him. 

“I promise that it’s nothing like that. Can’t I take the girl I’ve had this like, huge crush on to a dance?”

If pigs could fly they’d be more believable than this very moment. What was he saying? Is he even sure he’s talking to the right person?

“You’re kidding?” You say almost breathlessly. You’re pretty sure your eyes are wider than what’s physically possible, and your mouth’s hanging open. Nothing could convince you just how true this was. “Shut up - crush? You’ve been nagging me since I fucked your notes up. How could you possibly have a crush on someone you clearly dislike?” 

His facial expression becomes even more unfathomable. Jeongguk shakes his head gently, “I was just teasing! It’s a habit - you’re fun to mess with, much less be around. Was I that bad?” 

Oh? 

This was like entering a whole new universe. Was that a good way to even describe the whirlwind of emotions washing over you right now? Never had you even considered that, because why would Jeon Jeongguk, quite possibly one of the most alluring men to ever walk this earth, find entertainment in you? Much less harbour a liking. 

You punch his shoulder jokingly. 

“God - you bastard! For how long has this been going on?”

There’s a sheepish grin on his face - he’s rubbing the nape of his neck again, it’s endearing. “You remember that time you fixed the soundbar? Yeah, by that time, I was a goner - I think?” His words are all fumbling together. He was growing shy by the way red bloomed onto his cheeks. “Then… Then we kind of vibed during the whole planning thing. Jimin was kind of sceptical, so he uh, he confronted me about it.” 

Ah, so Jimin was part of all this. 

“Uh, I hoped this would’ve gone in a more, uh, romantic way? Maybe while we were dancing. I heard you put some pretty sappy songs in there.”

Seeing this new side of him hit you like that time Seokjin threw your school bag and earned you a nasty bruise on your nose. It’s fresh, better than the usual cocky talk he gives you.

Perhaps by time, it’ll grow on you. 

“When I say you’re really something, I never had in mind this side of you.” You sigh gently, letting a miniature of a smile wash over your lips. This is nice. It’s calming. “Now that I have clarification, you’re not so bad yourself, Jeon.” 

“And if you let me, I can continue to prove that on the dance floor.”

[raineydaywrites]

Nesting Chapter 14

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27904012/chapters/74325921

Captain Davenport had been committed to the interplanar expeditionary mission for decades now, and he was thrilled at how rapidly it was advancing now.

Even before he had been confirmed as the captain of the expedition, he had argued for the right of the captain to have the greatest say in who would be selected as crew.

Of course, for a project this significant, there were going to be a lot of voices in the mix, but the fact that the ship’s engine relied so much on bonds for power meant that the captain needed to be sure that they could form such bonds with their crew.

He had been grateful that the rest of the selection committee had agreed to that from the very beginning, and now that he was confirmed as the lead for the mission, he was even more grateful.

The first crew member he’d chosen to favor was easy. Dr. Bluejeans had been working on the bond engine project for decades, which was especially saying something for a human, with their significantly shorter lifespans than other species. It showed a dedication and commitment to the project that Davenport appreciated. Not only was he a brilliant scientist who had proved his ability to handle the work, he also enjoyed it.

It also helped that Davenport knew the man to be a well-mannered guy with a good personality- able to stand up for himself and others enough to not be considered completely dull or boring, but not the kind of person to go out of his way to cause problems either.

With the kinds of people who would be drawn to a mission like this- the adventurers, the explores, the ones with ambition- he would have his choice of troublemakers for this mission. He'd rather have at least a few people who were less likely to immediately jump into the fray just for the fun of it.

Selections for the chronicler were fairly simple too, in the end. At least, in comparison to selections for the rest of the crew. The chronicler needed to be able to keep good notes and write well, but there was less debate about what kinds of secondary skills would be needed in such an individual.

The selection board- mostly made up of scientists, arcanists and scientist-and-arcanist-adjacent administrators- had much stronger opinions on what scientific and magical skills could be useful on a mission like this than they did about the more clerical end of things.

In the end, choosing Lucretia McDonald was an easy choice- she was highly skilled in her field, especially for her age, well recommended, with a talent for note-taking that was rather astounding. She also seemed fairly easy to get along with, if a touch aloof. Still, another calm head would be a benefit on a mission like this. The only real concern was her youth and lack of experience, but truthfully, they didn't need the best chronicler possible, and Davenport personally thought that they should accept their luck in getting one this good instead of worrying that she could be better.

They still needed to make selections on security personnel, but they'd narrowed it down to a couple strong contenders. The other three spaces after that would be a bit more difficult to fill. They needed a healer of some sort, because they had no idea what they would run into out there, and being without the ability to heal themselves could easily be fatal. Personally, Davenport was angling for someone who had either faith or mental health expertise who might better be able to assist with any kind of existential concerns that they may run into. Going out past the planar system as they knew it was likely to be a lot on the crew's mental health, and a good cleric who could do more than just the traditional kinds of healing would be ideal.

The last two spots were for arcanists, or potentially an arcanist and another scientist, depending on the qualifications of the applicants. There weren't many people who had studied either the science or magic of bonds, and so they needed to be someone who was willing to learn on the job in order to assist Barry as needed.

There were two particular applicants that Davenport had taken special notice of for those roles. A pair of twins, graduating soon, top of their class, highly skilled and well recommended. Clearly, they had the skills and intelligence needed to fill the roles, and their relative youth made them more likely to be flexible enough to learn new skills.

Besides which, the fact that they were twins and had clearly spent a good portion of their lives together indicated that they probably had a very strong bond. The bond engine on the Starblaster was designed to be sustained even on less significant bonds that form between crewmates and coworkers, but the extra boost that bonds forged from genuine love offered could only be a positive in their situation.

He was set to interview the pair of them soon, to get a better handle on their abilities and personalities, but he already knew that he favored them over others. It wasn't just their twin bond, of course, but that was a major benefit.

Still, it wasn't fair to the other applicants to chose them on that basis alone, and so they needed to prove themselves to him and the selection committee just as much as any of the others.

When the twins arrived, they arrived together. Davenport intended to segment their interviews into a section together and a section apart. He needed to know both their individual skills and personalities as well as their combined skills and personalities after all.

He stepped out of his office to greet them and introduce himself, reaching a hand up for them to shake. And he immediately noticed something that might be a problem.

Well, he shouldn't say that, he supposed. He saw something that prompted a suspicion to rise in his mind, but he wasn't certain at first. After all, you can't simply assume these things. He didn't even know if Taako was physically capable of carrying a child, after all, let alone know enough about the man and his life to be certain that he was currently doing so, but he certainly had his suspicions.

There was a curve to the man's stomach that seemed different than simply being a matter of his build. The weight there did not appear to match the weight distribution on the rest of his body, in a way that suggested a potential pregnancy more than just fat.

Combine that with the appearance of his sister beside him, an identical twin sister as he knew from their files and the essays they had submitted with their applications. Of course it was possible for identical twins to have different builds due to differences in lifestyle or diet, but the sight of the two standing next to each other allowed him to compare their appearances in a way that reaffirmed his suspicions instead.

And the fact that they were identical twins with different gender identities pointed to the possibility that at least one of them could be capable of carrying a child. Elven biology meant that identical twins could be assigned different genders at birth, but it was a fairly rare occurrence. More likely to assume that one of them was trans.

If true, that could be a problem.

Still, there was no reason to be rude, so he took care to not let his eyes linger as he invited the two into his office.

"Please, sit," Davenport offered, gesturing to the chairs on the opposite side of his desk as he settled into his own chair. He noticed that Taako sat down with a particular heaviness, and set his hands to rest over his stomach.

Both Lup and Taako appeared to be eyeing him just as intensely as he was eyeing them, sizing each other up and disguising it under aloofness and professionalism. He could see the glint of intelligence in their eyes past the facade of distance, and he nodded approvingly in his mind.

The interview proceeded fairly normally from there, with Davenport taking some quick notes on the two for his own records. The conversation was being recorded as well, to ensure complete accuracy in relaying their words to the rest of the committee.

"I'd like to speak with you individually now," Davenport said, reaching for the recording device and turning it off briefly, before speaking again. "Apologies. There is one more question I have to ask the both of you. Do you have any medical conditions that might be relevant to discuss prior to departure?"

"We're allergic to peanuts," Lup offered, expression not moving in the slightest to indicate that she understood the question he was really asking. In fact, her expression only became more casual, clearly unwilling to let anything slip.

Taako looked to Lup, and they seemed to have a silent conversation before Taako turned back to Davenport and admitted, "Yes, I'm pregnant. And I totally get it if that disqualifies me. Figured it was worth a shot applying anyway."

"Thank you for your honesty," Davenport said, smiling warmly at him. It was good that he was acknowledging it instead of trying to downplay or deny the situation. "I admit, it may be disqualifying, but I wouldn't rule you out yet. The committee will have to discuss this more before making a decision on the matter. May I ask when you're due? It may be relevant."

"Doc says between 6-7 months or so," Taako offered. "Baby's half-human, so hard to be specific at this point. I'll keep you updated if I get any more info before you make the final call."

"I would appreciate that," Davenport said, handing Taako a card with his contact information. "Now, which of you would like to have your individual interview first?"

"Me," Taako said, immediately. "I refuse to stand up again until necessary. Lulu, get out."

Lup stood, maintaining eye contact with Taako as she left, saying, "The pregnancy card is gonna get real worn out if you keep abusing it Koko! Just sayin'!"

Davenport was practiced at not letting his amusement show on his face, but the exchange did prompt him to smile slightly.

Yes, he still favored the twins for this mission, even if it was now slightly against his better judgement.

-

As soon as they left their interviews, Taako found a bench and switched his dress shoes for a pair of comfier sandals that he’d brought along in his bag, letting out a noise of relief as he did so.

The sandals didn’t particularly match the rest of his outfit that well, and they weren’t particularly professional either, so Lup understood why he hadn’t worn them into the interview.

“Your feet really hurt that bad?” she asked, wincing in sympathy. “I didn’t think it would be so bad this early. Like, honestly, it’s still barely noticeable.”

“It’s still a lot different than what my legs are used to!” Taako insisted.

He stood up, holding onto Lup’s arm to keep him steady, and kept speaking. “It’s fine, mostly. These shoes just suck.”

Lup hummed in agreement, letting her brother vent. The dress shoes were an old pair that Taako had dragged out from the very back of the closet for the interview. He usually preferred to wear boots or heels, so he didn’t own very many flats. He hadn’t been able to find any boots that were both interview-appropriate and well-matched to his outfit, and he’s already learned that wearing heels nowadays was just asking for painful feet and ankles, and that he probably didn’t want to risk losing his balance when he was already so unsteady recently.

“We gotta find something better for graduation, then,” Lup said. “We’ve worked way too hard for it to let your day to be ruined by ugly, painful shoes.”

"No shit, Lulu, who do you think you're talking to? Already working on that," Taako assured.

Lup let her excitement wash over her for a second, laughing in delight. "Koko, we're about to fucking graduate! We made it!"

Taako met her outburst with a widening smile of his own. "Yeah, natch. Don't tell me you doubted it, Lu- it's us we're talking about. Course we fucking made it."

"We just interviewed to go into space! We didn't just make it- we made it," Lup said, eyes wild and delighted.

If someone had told them when they'd been kids that they'd be here someday, they'd have assumed they were being scammed- or, at best, politely lied to. All their confidence had been hard-won, over years and years of failures and let-downs, but here they were. The best of the best, graduating top of their class, possibly going to space- so much of the last few months had been stressful, trying to graduate while also helping Taako as he adjusted to his new situation, but they were in a good place. Finally.

There had been so many years where this would have devastated them. Years where an unplanned pregnancy would have set them back miles, where it wouldn't have been feasible for Taako to even consider keeping the kid if he wanted to. But now he could, and it had barely hurt them at all.

They'd gotten where they had dreamed of going. They'd really made it.

-

Lup's approval was fairly swift after the interview, with Davenport's continued firm approval and her excellent performance. But Davenport wasn't surprised when the selection committee seemed to immediately write off Taako as a candidate when they learned of his pregnancy. That didn't mean he agreed with them though.

They brought up good points- if a pregnant individual died or was lost on this mission, it would look far worse to the press than otherwise, they didn't know how interplanar travel would affect a fetus, and they could always simply offer the man a space in a later mission- assuming this one went well.

Truthfully, Davenport couldn't quite put his finger on why he was so insistent on the matter himself. But his instincts were telling him that he should fight for Taako's inclusion- that he was needed on this mission.

And so he fought for the inclusion of both twins. It seemed absurd not to take the offer of two highly skilled potential officers with as strong a bond as they twins had.

The committee finally agreed to speak with the science team about the potential affects on a fetus, and Davenport was glad to at least get a foot in the door to the idea.

Dr. Bluejeans spoke for the science team on the matter, and Davenport worked to hide his grin as the man explained that the team couldn't see any potential dangers for a fetus that were any worse than the dangers they would all be in simply due to the unknown nature of where they were going.

He got the feeling that a few of the committee members had been hoping that the team would give them an easy out, but at least a few of the members seemed more reassured by that knowledge.

"I understand your hesitance," Davenport addressed the committee. "But none of the other candidates that have been suggested for this position bring nearly as many advantages to this crew as Mr. Taako would. And that is without mentioning the advantages gained by having Ms. Lup on this crew as well. If we turn him down, I truly believe we will lose them both, and they will not be easy to replace. There are risks to this mission, but that has always been true. And as long as we have planned this, we have worked to mitigate those risks- and not only because we don't want to lose any of our people, but because we know that if we lose someone on this mission, it will be a long time- perhaps a lifetime- before we will be given the resources to try again. Regardless of who in particular we lose. We cannot afford to lose anyone on this mission, no matter who we send or don't send, and I fully believe that Mr. Taako and Ms. Lup are our best options to ensure that that doesn't happen in the first place."

And when the official letters of acceptance were sent out, there was one household that got two of them.

-

Taako was fiddling with his graduation outfit when Lup got home with the letters. The robes were issued through the school, and one of the workers had offered him some advice on making sure that the whole set would actually fit and look nice by the time he graduated, based from their own experience of graduating while pregnant. Taako had greatly appreciated it, and with graduation coming up soon, he was finally starting to put it in place, altering the clothing subtly.

Lup made sure he wasn't holding anything sharp before she announced that the letters had arrived.

Taako immediately dropped what he was working on to hurry to Lup's side. She handed him the letter and they both paused, neither willing to take the jump and open it. For this moment, they could still live in the reality where they might go on this mission together, and it was terrifying to think that it might fall apart in a minute.

Taako was the one who finally opened his letter. Lup didn't open her own, instead waiting and watching her brother's face as he pulled out the papers inside with shaking hands. He started to read-

-and his eyes lit up and he smiled wider than Lup had ever seen from him before, and it felt like everything inside of her settled immediately. He'd been accepted. And if he'd been accepted, even while pregnant, surely-

She ripped open her envelope, finally, and couldn't hold back her scream of excitement at what she saw inside.

Taako hugged her, immediately, and he was crying a little, but Lup wasn't going to judge since she was near tears herself without the mood swings.

"We're going to space!" she enthused, and Taako laughed, unable to do anything else with how happy he was.

"We're going to space!" he agreed.

Lup hugged her brother even tighter for a moment, before pulling back and addressing the bump.

"Ya hear that, nugget? Your dad and aunt about to be the coolest people on the planet."

"Coolest people in space, goofus," Taako corrected, laughing and shoving her shoulder lightly.

"In the universe!" Lup shouted, throwing her arms up in the air with joy.

They'd fucking made it.

[gayregis]

I've listened to the part where Geralt talks with a very ill Cahir about Ciri and vengeance... it was one of the most emotional parts of the book by itself but also thanks to your take about the lost innocence of Ciri ! I felt it thrice hard in the feelings! Also, do you have thoughts on the declared love of Cahir for Ciri? Personally I see it as disturbingly romantic, let's say. Thank you for your commitment to the books and sorry to bother you

omg thank you for the ask. first of all i have to say you’re not bothering me!! tbh i have been loving getting asks because it gives me an opportunity to like bring more discussion to the witcher community... 

i feel like although reblogging pretty gifs of characters/landscapes from tw3 and any good fanart i can find is nice, my FAVORITE thing to do is write or read a really long textpost about the witcher books, i really like the discussion aspect of fandoms where people post their reactions and opinions to the content they like, because you get a bunch of shared reactions and differing opinions.

so no this is NOT a bother at all, and its nice especially to get asks about topics that i have strong feelings about but have not made posts about yet, like this one

ok, as for the actual topic: i hate forced heterosexuality, so you KNOW i hate that canon cahiri! it was out of line from sapkowski and imo, it came out of absolutely nowhere in tower of the swallow, it wasn’t something built up to or foreshadowed at all, so it felt not only weird in context but weird for sapkowski as an author.

my main problem with canon cahiri: i think it’s super creepy!

first of all, let’s discuss the age difference. cahir in baptism of fire is estimated to be “not over 25,” which i see as putting him around 20 to 25 years old, and i usually take the median of this which is around 23. while this “not over 25″ comment is said in the context of the hansa to remark upon how young cahir is (i believe it’s thought of by either geralt or dandelion, and geralt is around 60 years old and as a witcher he looks 45, and dandelion is 38 in tower of the swallow), and how cahir is described as a young man in time of contempt to illustrate that he has a sense of innocence to him as ciri cuts him down, his age gap with ciri is super innappropriate for anything to occur between them, since she is 10 or 11 during the massacre of cintra (as stated by geralt in something more), so she would be around 14 at thanedd, and 15-16 during baptism of fire to lady of the lake. so sapkowski deemed it fit to pair a 23 year old man with a 16 year old girl. this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this, what with essi being “not over 18″ and shani also bein around 18 / college age, and yennefer canonically looking around 20. listen, the man has some messed up values when it comes to women’s ages. we have to take it upon ourselves as people who like the not-weird parts of canon to understand how worldviews and personal biases affect one’s writing, and change it for ourselves to make it right so we can continue interacting with it, if we so choose (tldr: retcon some shit when it’s fucked up in canon).

now, before someone argues that “it’s fantasy medieval world, medieval relationships between men and women were just like that,” believe me, i am aware. i study ancient greece/rome and men who were in their 30s were most often paired with women in their teens as part of their arranged marriages. that is how their ancient societies functioned more than 2000 years ago. the issue is that this is a fantasy world, in which societal norms and laws do not have to conform to real-life earth history, and this is the work of a modern writer writing in the 1990s. it’s not “just how the times were,” it’s deliberately choosing to include an age gap like that to be something canonically acceptable by their society/ies.

also, one could argue that the age gap would be fine once they are older, like, when ciri becomes an adult she is already medievally-style betrothed to cahir so they start dating when she’s like 20 and he’s like 27. eh... that’s still an uncomfortable age gap, at least for when they’re in their 20s. people in their older 20s have more life experience than people in their younger 20s. but at least it wouldn’t land cahir in modern-day jail.

it’s still just an uncomfortably large age gap, and if you think about it, it’s even creepier considering that cahir met ciri when she was a helpless child around 10 - 11 and it just makes the bathing scene excruciatingly creepy too if you put it in the context that he eventually would fall in love with her. it even begins to not be about strictly age, but about life experience, development, and power imbalance within the relationship. i mean, he did literally kidnap her.

cahir in tos calls ciri a “woman” when she is like, 15 or 16 (with the rose tattoo) (to anyone reading, please don’t come at me with that “the age of consent is 15 in poland, just because it’s 18 in the US doesn’t mean your laws and culture apply to everyone” ... please do not try and justify this with laws, legality is not morality. only saying this because i’ve seen it in other posts). like.... hm! don’t like that! she is a teenager... he is in his 20s... this should not be occuring.

sorry for the loooong explanation, but every time someone brings up the subject of age gaps on tumblr it turns into crazy discourse with everyone trying to justify it.

but yeah, CANONICALLY cahir would have been 16-21 (median 18) when he met ciri at 10-11, and 20-25 (median 23) when he declares his love for her at 15-16. that’s ... not good ... to put it more into perspective, these are their ages on a traditional school system path: a 18 year old is a high school senior, an 11 year old is a 6th grader. a 23 year old has been out of college for 2 years, a 16 year old is a high school sophomore. ITS NOT GOOD

my other problem with canon cahiri: it’s boring and contradicts sapkowski at his own game.

all of the witcher is about taking fantasy tropes and inverting them, like you can’t have some random peasant kill a dragon, you’d need a professional, and also guess what, the dragon isn’t evil but a dad trying to protect his wife and child.

all of the characters in the hansa (as well as the four main characters of geralt, yennefer, ciri, and dandelion) are inversions of the tropes they represent. for some examples, milva’s trope is something like the hot action girl who only exists to be the only girl in the company and to be sexy eye candy. instead of falling into this, she is actually an action girl, not bothering with sexiness and appeal to the gaze of a male audience but a “get shit done” type, who also dresses and acts “like a man.” regis’ trope is all vampire tropes ever. he/vampires in the witcher doesn’t/don’t fall into any of the traditional european vampire myths like burning in sunlight, needing to drink blood to stay alive, being disdainful of humanity, having aversions to garlic, belonging to a super-secret orderful society that lurks in the shadows and controls everything like puppetmasters, etc... instead, he is the epitome of redemption arcs and overall “goody-goodiness,” understands humanity perfectly and does things out of his good nature. i already talk about regis too much, so i’ll quit it. 

cahir is an inversion of every knight trope ever, particularly the evil knight. he scars ciri’s memory as a night terror, but actually is not ... a bad person. he’s just some guy, pressured by his family and his society to do what he saw as an assignment like a college kid might see their final essay assignment posted on canvas. except you know. the final exam was to kidnap a girl. and he got an F on that and failed the course (ie got thrown in prison). ANYWAYS, cahir is meant to be this inversion of the knight tropes, so WHY, WHY, WHY make him become the knight trope of being the one to romance and to save a hapless princess? if we’ve learned anything about ciri, it’s that she’s the inversion of the princess trope! she KILLS PEOPLE. she ALMOST KILLED CAHIR. she can defend herself and kill for herself, she doesn’t need the knight trope going to protect her! 

heterosexual romance as the Big Reason and Motivation behind all of a character’s actions is tiring, annoying, boring, and not well-thought out. it’s so base and not unique, it doesn’t fit in with everything else about the witcher.

how i would fix it: not make them fall in love.

cahir already HAS a motivation to find ciri and to help her. he needs to APOLOGIZE. he needs to say, hey, i’m sorry i kidnapped you and ruined your life, i made peace with your dad, he doesn’t wanna kill me anymore, i can only hope that you can forgive me too after i SET THINGS RIGHT. 

as opposed to regis’s arc (i swear i am not playing favorites with regis, i just tend to compare and contrast regis and cahir’s redemptions because they are quite different yet they join the hansa side by side so they’re bound to be compared), cahir actually can find the one (not many) people he wronged, and set things right on his own accord, not go forth with a larger mission to assist all humanity, or whatever.

i think cahir also had this WONDERFULLY UNDERUTILIZED anti-imperialist message as part of his character that pains me to see being swept under the rug for some cheap lame romance story. sapkowski already created some anti-war sentiments with the battle of the bridge in baptism of fire, and he tried to create anti-racism sentiments throughout the book/at the end of lady of the lake. anti-imperialism fits with the rest of the saga as a message.

the fact that cahir was instructed by his family to hate the northern kingdoms, despite the fact that they were related to northerners, is really profound as something to happen to a character, and holds a lot of meaning in today’s society. the fact that he broke, finally, after he lost ciri, just completely lost his mind and had to be restrained because he was wailing so hard, because of the pressure that this society put him under to succeed and achieve pride for his family, is such a great example of the tragedies of society. then he speaks out against his leader and is jailed... and yet, after this, he gets to learn from his mistakes and redeem himself as a good person, and his character has developed SO much. he is not doing what his country wants him to do, he is not doing what his family wants him to do. he is doing what he wants to do because it is the RIGHT thing to do. that already is such a powerful message, he doesn’t need anymore character motivation!

so yep that’s my thoughts on why cahir is a good character asides from all that forced romance biz

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Raindrops

Read on Ao3 Based on this post from @blinksinbewilderment

Summary: Virgil's cold, Logan’s helpful, and it happens to be raining outside.

Warnings: Touch-starvation (which we’re pretending can become serious after a week), mostly just gays being snuggly

Pairing: Analogical

    Virgil was having a bad day.

    The day had been long, his teachers had been more idiotic than usual, he had a small mountain of papers as homework, and Patton had been gone a week on vacation. Which meant along with school stress, he wasn’t even getting any hugs, which made him cold and irritable. Of course, the obvious solution to this problem was to get hugs from someone else.

    But Roman was busy with the fall play, so Virgil wasn’t going to annoy him. And his roommate, Logan (who he most certainly did not have a crush on), wasn’t very touchy. 

    So it seemed he was just going to die waiting for Patton to come back. This was the only way to deal with the problem. At least it would get him out of the three page essay he had to write for english.

    An essay he had been staring at for an hour without doing anything about. He was just too distracted to do anything. It was too rainy outside for him to make a walk to Starbucks, which meant he had no coffee, which meant there was nothing to warm the cold void inside his stomach, which meant he was shivering despite the heavy hoodie he was trying to pretend was as heavy as Patton when he was holding Virgil.

    It also meant the sleep he hadn’t been bothering to catch up on for the last two nights was slinking into the corners of his mind and trying to convince him taking a nap on his desk right in front of Logan was a good idea.

    “Virgil?”

    Virgil flinched hard enough to knock his pencil off his desk, caught off-guard by Logan, who had been silent the entire afternoon. He glanced down at the fallen writing utensil before deciding attempting to pick it up had a high chance of causing him to fall out of the chair. He moved his gaze over to Logan. “Yes?”

    “Are you alright?” Logan asked, closing his book to focus his frown on Virgil. “You seem to be… not fully here.”

    Virgil waved a dismissive hand. “It’s alright, specs, no need to worry. I’m just a little tired. English’s too boring to focus on, anyways.”

    Logan’s frown didn’t go away. “Are you sure that is all that is bothering you?” He asked. Virgil sighed internally. Why did he have to get such a perceptive roommate?

    Drumming his fingers on his desk, Virgil chose to go with the approach most likely to fly over Logan’s head: sarcasm.

    “Oh, you know how it is.” He started, keeping his tone light. “When you just really wanna hold someone’s hand, wanna be snuggly, wanna be held tight while they rest their chin on your head.”

    He put stress on the actual touching actions, hoping the over-dramatic tone hid his deep desire to genuinely do them.

    Logan placed his book down, his worry somehow even more increased. Seems the sarcasm didn’t work.

    “Virgil, it sounds like you are quite possibly touch-starved. When’s the last time you participated in human contact?”

    He sounded… really serious. Virgil wasn’t expecting that, and he answered honestly, “I, uh, I guess not since Patton left for his trip?”

    “A week ago?”

    “Yeah…?” Virgil responded, not liking the concerned face Logan refused to drop. He turned back to his barely touched essay. “It’s fine, Lo, really; I just-”

    Apparently, Virgil was more out of it then he thought, given he hadn’t even heard Logan get off his bed or walk over. But Logan definitely had, if the arms now wrapped around him meant anything.

    He stiffened in surprise, and the arms around him loosed in response.

    “Apologies if this makes you uncomfortable, Virgil. I can go find someone else you would be more comfortable with, if you wish, but given the possible long-term effects of touch-starvation, I cannot figuratively or literally ‘stand by.’”

    “I, uh,” Virgil coughed, trying to cover the waver his voice had mysteriously gotten now that there was something warm and heavy and human leaning on him, “I’m good. If you don’t mind, of course, I don’t want to impose or-”

    “I assure you Virgil, I am perfectly content with this.” Logan replied before Virgil could continue, his own tone calming and assured. “Human touch and contact is as necessary to our optimal survival as eating. I am not at all uncomfortable with providing it.”

    “Oh… okay.” Virgil mumbled. “If you’re sure.”

    Logan hummed in affirmation, before asking, “Do you mind if we move? This position is less than constructive towards the well-being of my back.”

    For the first time since he had come over, Virgil looked at Logan. The other student was awkwardly half-crouching to be on the right level to hug Virgil.

    “Oh, eek, yeah we can move. Do you want to sit on the floor, or…?”

    “I believe our beds would be substantially more enjoyable to rest on.”

    “That… that makes more sense.” Virgil admitted sheepishly. He wasn’t going to mention the fact that bed had been his first thought as well, one he didn’t want to voice in case Logan thought he was being weird.

    Logan let go of Virgil, giving Virgil a few seconds to miss the loss of warmth before he took his hand, gently tugging him out of his chair and towards Logan’s bed.

    “We can lay on your bed if you’d prefer, but given the state of it…” Logan trailed off, glancing at Virgil’s clothes covered bed.

    “Your bed’s fine.” Virgil said, watching as Logan took his book off and slipped it back into his backpack.

    Logan hesitated a moment, glancing at Virgil apologetically. “Would you mind removing your hoodie?”

    “What? Why?”

    “Skin-to-skin contact better works to reverse the effects of touch-starvation.” Logan answered. “Numerous studies have concluded that skin-to-skin contact benefits not only infants, but humans of all ages. It can help to relax, calm, and de-stress.”

    “Oh.” Virgil replied mildly before nodding. “Alright.” He regrettable let go of Logan’s hand and pulled off his hoodie. He tried to ignore the way Logan was pretending to not be staring.

    Not that Logan had any reason to be staring. It wasn’t like he was always wearing his hoodie. Just in the winter and fall. And spring. And summer. And inside. And while lifting (to settle a year-long bet). And while on trips. Sometimes while sleeping. He had gotten into the bath with it on twice as a joke. Taken more showers in it than he’d care to admit.

    Alright, so maybe he wore it a lot. Sue him. It still wouldn’t make any sense for Logan to be so clearly not looking at him (and still sometimes glancing back, like he was stealing a look).

    “I, um, I’m ready if you are.” Virgil said, cringing immediately at how awkward it sounded. Didn’t help he felt practically naked in just his black t-shirt. Or that Logan was acting like he wasn’t looking at him.

    Logan coughed, seemingly startled, before responding, “I am also ready.”

    Great. They were both feeling awkward now. At least it was even playing fields, Virgil decided.

    After another moment of standing in uneasy silence, Logan laid down on the bed, shifting a little to get as comfortable as possible before he lifted an arm, clearly beckoning Virgil to join him.

    Virgil didn’t react for a moment, biting his tongue and starting to regret this decision. This was weird, wasn’t it? To just casually cuddle with your roommate/crush? Who was likely just doing it to stop you from hurting yourself due to biological crap?

    But then he shivered, still feeling unnaturally cold, and any resolve he might have had crumbled. He climbed into the bed, rolling over so his back was to Logan, waiting for the other to have an objection to it.

    Logan didn’t say anything, however; he simply scooted a little bit forward so he could wrap his arms around Virgil, pressing against his back. He even tucked his chin over Virgil’s head.

    “Is this adequate?” Logan asked, softly. Virgil didn’t respond at first, too focused on the fact that Logan was right there and warm and holding him and damnit why had he never asked for a hug from Logan before, this was really nice and-

    “Virgil?”

    Oh. Yeah. Words communicated things. Not just thoughts.

    “Yeah, it’s uh… it’s great.” Virgil answered.

    Logan hummed, the vibrations in his chest soothing against Virgil’s back. “Good.”

    They lapsed into silence after that, Virgil gradually curling closer into Logan while listening to the raindrops drum against the window. After his mind finally got out of its loop of warm safe good perfect, everything was calm and relaxing, his eyelids fluttering as he fought to not fall asleep. It was nice.

    Until his brain unhelpfully turned back on to point out the fact that warm safe good perfect was his crush. This would have been problematic for a full-functioning being. For Virgil, however, who was half a beat away from falling asleep, it was disastrous. 

    Because a sleepy Virgil? That was a shameless Virgil.

    “You know a lot about this touch-starvation stuff.” He mumbled, breaking the silence.

    “It has come up in a few research projects.”

    “Mmmhmmm. So you’d be able to answer most questions about it, yeah?”

    “Most, yes.” Logan replied non-committedly. “Why, do you have any?”

    “Just one.” Virgil shifted so that he was partially facing Logan. “Can lips get touch-starved?”

    “It’s not an area that touch-starvation research has really looked into, so I can’t give you a definite answer.” Logan responded, face neutral. Virgil thought he’d have to be more obvious when Logan smirked and added, “If it concerns you, however, we could always take preventive measures.”

    “Oh, really?” Virgil asked coyly. “And what might those be?”

    Logan’s answer wasn’t verbal.

    Virgil pulled away from the kiss after a minute, rolling over more so that he was fully facing Logan. He wrapped his arms around him before squishing his face into the crook of Logan’s neck, quickly losing the battle against going to sleep.

    “We should cuddle more often.” He mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut as he did so, no longer having any resolve to keep them open.

    Logan chuckled, nestling his chin back on top of Virgil’s head before responding, “Yes, I think we should.”

    It was the last thing Virgil heard before he drifted off to sleep, happily snuggled in the embrace of the man he loved, raindrops still pattering on the window.

[anothers-trash-my-treasure]

Bittersweet ~ Chapter Eight

If I was naming chapters, this one would be titled “Near or Far” and that’s all I’m gonna say. 

Last official chapter, an epilogue will be on its way and honestly, I might write a few side chapters sometime too because I just love this story so much. Enjoy!

Pairing: Merriell Shelton/Reader (femme)

Warning: swearing, some angst and long-distance troubles but mostly just fluff

Word count: 4000

Tag List: @ahkmenrami1205 @itsme690 @xoa-lex @ramibaby @r-ahh-mi @xmxisxforxmaybe @sherlollydramoine @txml @moon-stars-soul @ramimedley @sassystrawberryk 

*he’s so pretty i wanna cry*

~

Long-distance is hard.

God, it’s the fucking worst. 

In some ways, it was very much the same from normal. I wake up, eat breakfast, go to my classes. I spend all day on campus, reading and studying only to leave for my job. I’d waitress all night, grab something to eat at the end of a shift, go home, watch a few episodes of Friends (even though I’ve seen it a thousand times) and head off to bed before repeating it all over again. 

But then, on the other hand, it was so different.

Because I’d wake up to the standard Mornin’ Beautiful, have a good day. I’d spend all day looking at my phone and laughing at the constant stream of goofy snapchats, annoying everyone around me in the otherwise silent part of the library. I’d get a phone call at 10 o’clock sharp every night as I made way back to my apartment that would switch over to a facetime as soon as I was settled on the couch, Netflix on the TV and the love of my life’s face stretched across my computer screen, pixelated and laggy due to crappy wifi. 

And every minute spent communicating in any way possible was simultaneously wonderful and heartbreaking. The technology of the present day made it so easy to hear his voice and to see him. But it was the worst thing in the world when I couldn’t come home from a long day and cuddle up with him on the couch or wake up with his arms around me. Technology couldn’t replicate touch. And it fucking sucked.

Someday’s we were both too busy to even get more than a few texts out to each other throughout the week. He was so busy at work and University kept me on my toes at all times. I was constantly writing essays, studying content or writing notes for 40-page readings that half the time the professor didn’t even attempt to cover. 

We tried to be patient with each other. I knew he was working double shifts, they were short-staffed at the lumber yard and he was always talking about taking a week off to come visit me once he had enough saved up. He knew I was just as busy. But sometimes we just got agitated, so fed up with how hard it was to be away from each other that we had to lash if we wanted to keep our rule of total and utter honesty. 

But we always worked things out in the end. Even if presently things were a little tense. 

“Hey baby,” his voice rang through my headphones as I made my way to my next class.

“Hi Mer,” I replied, no doubt looking like an idiot as I smiled to no one.

“Whatcha doin?” He asked, his voice resembling that of a bored child. I knew he had the day off today, they were few and far between. Usually, they landed on a weekend, when we could spend the whole day on facetime, syncing up movies to watch together and enjoying what company we could get out of a computer screen.

“I am currently rushing to my Marketing class,” I say smiling politely at someone who holds the door for me, “which I am currently late for because I lost track of time in the library trying to finish an essay for my next class.”

He whistles lowly, “Busy girl.” he comments and I can hear a familiar tone in his voice. It’s lower than usual, huskier and warm around the edges. Any other time it’d send a rush of heat through me and I’d be finding the nearest private bathroom to indulge in a bit of phone sex but today I was simply too busy.

“Merriell-” I start to warn but he barrels through, completely ignoring me.

“So what'dya say? Wanna be a few more minutes late an’ be a little bad with me?” his tone is teasing, breathy and light.

“You know I can’t.” I huff at him, “The midterm for this class is next week, I really don’t have time to get you off right now.” I wince a little at the tone of my voice, but as I near my class I can’t find it in myself to feel guilty about being short with him.

“Babe,” he whines, “C’mon we haven’t done anything in like a week, I’m dyin’.”

“You’re not.” I deadpan, “Mer, I’m really sorry. I’ll try to make some time this weekend but midterms are coming up and-”

“I know, I know.” he sighs, “You gotta study.” 

It’s silent as I stand outside my classroom, not wanting to leave things with this kind of tension but knowing if I don’t head into lecture I will surely pay the consequences.

“I’m sorry,” I say softly, “I gotta go, I love you.”

“Near or far baby.” he replies and despite the tension I know he’s got a smile on his face 

~

The rest of the week carries out more or less the same way. He calls and I’m busy, we hang up and I’m left feeling guilty. But University is demanding and it won’t let me stray away long enough to talk to him for more than ten minutes at a time. I try to compromise, face timing him while I study at home, thinking that just having his presence, even if he sits there silently while I do my thing, will be enough to tie him over until midterms are over. But that doesn’t prove to work well either. 

“-Gene and I went out the other day and I swear to god, the poor kid got rejected by every girl in the bar. Not that I’m surprised, y’know Gene, he neva’ did have much game an-” 

“Mer,” I sigh exasperated, putting my pen down on the table with an audible thump, “Y’know I love to hear these stories but it’s really distracting and I need to run through this chapter again.” My eyes linger on the pixelated version of his face on my screen, it doesn’t do him any justice. The shitty camera quality of our laptops do nothing to catch the true colour of his eyes or the texture of his hair and Jesus christ I miss him. 

“So ya jus’ want me to sit here silently?” he asks, a twinge of annoyance to his voice.

“I mean it’s what you’d be doing if you were here,” I point out, “Look, I just thought that doing this could at least try to mimic us being together since I don’t really have time to do the usual talkative shit.” I rub my temples, feeling a strain just behind my eyes that comes with studying for ongoing seven hours.

“Baby, I know you’re busy. I get it, but Jesus Christ I feel like-” he breaks off with a sigh, looking away from the screen for a second, “This is the most I’ve talked to you in the past two weeks.” 

I shake my head lightly, looking around at the mess of papers, textbooks and cue cards that litter my kitchen table, “I don’t know what you want from me right now, Merriell, I’m trying my best.” I insist, running my hands through my greasy, tangled hair.

“I know ya are,” he says, voice rising slightly as his frustrations surface, “I know you’re trying, it’s just I fucking hate this.” 

“Hate what Mer?” I question, feeling irritation bubble up inside of me, “Hate that I can’t devote all my time and energy to talking to you?” I’m about to go on, having a list of things to say but he’s having none of my shit tonight.

“Don’t start with that shit,” he glares at me through the screen, “You know I don’t expect that.”

“Well then stop fucking acting like it,” I exclaim, laughing a bit but there’s no humour in it. 

“Y/n,” he sighs, running a hand over his face tiredly, “Fuck, why’s this gotta be so fucking hard.” he groans, eyes running over his screen, no doubt taking in my appearance.

My finger lifts from the table, running over the projection of his face on my screen. My heart longs to feel the warmth of his skin under my fingertips, I can hardly remember the feeling of his strong jaw, of the light stubble that builds there after a few days of not shaving. My hands itch to run through his hair, to feel the texture of the curls that are somehow soft and coarse all at once. The worst part of long-distance, I conclude, is not being able to touch. 

“I just miss ya so much,” He says softly, and even through the pixels, I can see his eyes soften with sadness.

“I know Mer,” I say compassionately, “I miss you too.” 

We sit silently for another few moments, I push away the nagging at the back of my head that screams at me to study, not wanting to risk upsetting him more.

“Maybe I can come visit soon,” he wonders out loud, clicking and typing loudly at his laptop and I know he’s checking his bank statements, “It’s a little tight right now but I wouldn’t starve by any means an’ ‘Gene owes me money anyway I could use for rent-”

“Merriell, no.” I say sadly because as much as I want him to come up, I don’t want him going broke because of it, “We talked about this, you only come up if you can afford to do it without putting yourself in debt.” He opens his mouth to argue so I speak to cut him off, “You’d tell me the same thing.”

He sighs, burying his head in hands. I can see his shoulders are tense, frustration running through every muscle of his body. He takes another minute or two before he looks back up at the screen.

“Yeah, okay.” he says quietly, “I’ll let ya study.”

“You don’t have to go,” I point out weakly, “I know it’s hard for you to be quiet but I’m sure if you made an effort...” it’s a poor attempt at a joke but it gets his lips twitching into a weak smile nonetheless.

“Nah, can’t have my smart girl failing her classes,” He pauses, “Then I couldn’t tease ‘Gene about how fuckin’ stupid he is.” 

I huff out a laugh, “Go easy on the poor guy.”

“Never” he replies easily with a cheeky smirk. 

I shake my head in amusement, the humour replacing the tension that crossed over us if only for a few moments, it’s welcomed. 

“I love you, Mer,” I say softly, “You know that right?” 

It feels important that he knows it, that he believes it. Lately, every conversation we’ve had has ended in apologies and I hate that. I hate that we fight so often, I hate that I have to be so far away from him all the time and I fucking hate, even the possibility, that he could think that I don’t love him. 

He smiles softly, sadly, “I know baby,” he assures me, “I love you too.” 

I sigh, returning my attention back to the textbooks spread across my table. They seem so unimportant right now. The sight of them only reminds me of how terrible of a girlfriend I’ve been lately and the thought of choosing studying over him again makes me sick to my stomach. 

“I’ll let ya go.” he says, snapping me out of my trance.

I don’t want him to go. I want to keep talking to him, I want to listen to his stupid stories about Eugene striking out with the ladies and his day at work and I want him to hit on me like he doesn’t already have me wrapped around his finger. I’m so unbelievably exhausted, school draining every last ounce of energy from me and yet still demanding more. I can feel tears pricking behind my eyes at the thought of being alone in my quiet apartment. 

“Okay.” I croak, taking a shaky breath and looking away from his image before I really lose it. 

“Hey,” he says softly, “You got this baby girl. Just a few more days an’ you’re in the clear.” I nod, chewing a hole in my lip, “we’re gonna get through this, I promise. Near or far, right?” 

I nod again, taking a steadying breath before saying our final goodbyes for the night. I know I’m being stupid, he’ll text me within the hour but that doesn’t the aching in my chest when his face disappears from my screen, replaced with the home screen. 

Midterms could not end fast enough.

~

“Cheers,” Chloe says loudly over the noise of the bar surrounding us, holding a shot high above her head, “to what seems like the longest two weeks of our lives. We did it. Through our blood, sweat, and for some of us,” she sends me a pointed look, “a whole lot of tears. But midterms,” she pauses for dramatic effect, keeping us all in a form of amused suspense, “are over!”

The group hoots and hollers and we drown our shots, barely wincing at the harshness of the alcohol against our throats. It’s early, but a lot of us are already well on our way to being drunk. Spring break has officially begun and that means a whole week of binge drinking and ignoring all our upcoming academic responsibilities. 

“I didn’t cry that much.” I insist for seemingly the thousandth time.

Chloe laughs loudly, “Oh come on, Y/N.” she pushes my shoulder playfully, “There was hardly a day you didn’t call me in tears because you were behind on studying.” 

I pout dramatically, “I was only behind because my idiot boyfriend kept distracting me.” 

“He is an idiot,” she agrees, earning herself a slightly too hard punch to the shoulder on my behalf, “Speaking of,”  she continues, “How are things with you guys?”

I shrug, rubbing at the condensation on my glass, “We’re fine.” I answer, “He keeps insisting we’re fine anyways. Even though all we’ve done lately is fight about how hard this whole long-distance thing is.” I meet her concerned gaze and shrug again, “It’ll be better now that midterms are over I just...miss him. It’s hard.” 

She nods, understanding, “You think you’ll be able to see him soon?” 

“I don’t think so.” I say sadly, “All the money I save goes right back into paying for school. He’s trying to save but I think it’ll be a little while yet.”

Midterms kept me busy enough, that it hadn’t really occurred to me how much longer it could be before I could see my boy again. I was so focused on vocabulary, theories and information that will soon be next to useless, I always had something else to contemplate. But now that it’s all over I’m hit with the unfortunate reality that it could be months before I see him again. And the mere thought of that makes my heartache. 

“God Chloe, I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” I whine, pouting dramatically.

A small, kind of sly smile creeps over her lips and her eyes glimmer with mischief, “Is that so?” 

Her voice sounds teasing and I’m left feeling like I’m the last one in on a joke. I take in the table around me and notice that all my friends are staring at me, giddy with excitement. My brow crumples in confusion and I look back at Chloe, who is practically bursting at the seams, phone pointed and aimed towards me.

“What are you doing?” I question, narrowing my eyes at her.

“Turn around,” she says simply.

I do what she says, turning around in my seat to address the scene behind me and I can’t believe my eyes. Standing in the middle of the bar is an all too familiar figure with unruly curls and sea-green eyes.

The next thing I know, I’ve thrown myself out of the chair and across the bar floor, all but tackling him. His arms wrap tightly around me, we spin and my senses are enveloped in everything that is so undeniably Merriell. I can hear him laughing in my ear, deep and throaty, can feel his arm around my waist, his hand in my hair and his lips on my forehead, mumbling soft words that I can’t hear over the cheering of my friends and drunk bystanders. My fingers clench in his loose-fitting t-shirt desperately, as if I were to let him go he’d disappear. I’m not aware of the tears running down my cheeks until he tilts my head up to gently wipe them away. 

“Baby, why you cryin’?” he teases, kissing the tip of my nose softly.

I let out a wet laugh and shake my head, unable to do anything other than stare up at him admiringly for a moment. I take in a shaky breath, “You’re such an asshole.” it’s said without heat and he beams down at me, placing soft kisses on my lips.  

He maneuvers us back to our table, where he greets Chloe and introduces himself to my friends. I’m faintly aware of everything around me that isn’t him, not quite grasping the fact that this is real, he’s here and not hundreds of miles away in a whole other state. 

“What are you doing here?” I finally ask, my thoughts having settled in my head much in the same way I have settled sideways on his lap, arms wrapped around his neck.

He looks at me with a smile, eyes soft, “Honestly, I jus’ couldn’t wait any longer.”

The group ‘aw’s and I am helpless to do anything but lean in to kiss him. 

The rest of the night we drink, dance and for the first time months, I feel light and happy. Hardly a moment goes by where we’re not touching each other in some way. It had been too long since we’ve felt the warmth of each other’s bodies against one another, his hands on my hips, mine on his chest. It felt so surreal to have him near again. He was just as obnoxious and loud as I remembered him being and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We had pissed off the rest of the bar while dancing. A familiar jazz tune came on and Merriell had tugged me to the dance floor, attempting to teach me a form of swing dancing that I was 99% certain wasn’t even a thing. Chloe had finally managed to get us to leave, but not after he had managed to nearly get us thrown out for public indecency. Totally his fault, he can’t expect to kiss me like that and not expect me to want to jump his bones. 

The memories of last night come filtering back to me, much like the sunlight that finds its way into the room through my curtains. My eyes flutter open and my senses slowly come back to me. The feeling of soft blankets around my body, the warm skin of his chest beneath my cheek, a hand resting limply on my waist and our legs tangled with each other. His chest rises and falls slowly, mouth parted ever so slightly as he sleeps deeply. I shift on my stomach to watch him, taking in every detail I had forgotten over time. The way his fingers twitch restlessly in his sleep, how his muscles clench ever so slightly as I run my fingers across his abdomen. I missed waking up to him like this. He looks at peace and I can’t help but wonder if he sleeps this good when we’re apart. 

He breathes in deeply suddenly, face scrunching against the offending sunlight. His arm tightens around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer as his other hand rubs the sleep away from his face. He hums softly, a sleepy smile spreading across his features as his eyes flutter open and meet mine.

“Mornin’” he murmurs.

I feel a grin split across my face as I admire his handsome features in the morning light, “Good morning.” 

“I missed this.” He sighs, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

I hum in agreement, leaning into his touch, “me too.” 

We stay like that for a while. His arms around me, my fingers dancing across his skin, the room just slightly too warm to be pressed so close but neither of us willing to move away from the other just yet. I don’t know how long he’s staying, how long it’ll be before we see each other again after this and yet I find myself reluctant to bring up the conversation, afraid to shatter the perfect moment we’ve created. 

“Could stay like this forever,” I say instead, softly, a tinge of sadness and longing to my voice. 

He hums softly, a hand coming up to run through my hair, gently brushing away any knots with his fingers, “About that...” 

I pull away, pushing myself up and away from his body to look at him. I feel anxiety begin to bubble in the pit of my stomach at the uncharacteristic bashfulness on his face. 

“What?” I ask softly, searching his face for any clues.

His eyes run over my features silently, lip drawn between his teeth as he debates how to bring up the mysterious subject. 

“I may have done somethin..” he hesitates, “kind of stupid.” 

My mind runs to a million and ten different possibilities, every one worse than the last. My entire body runs tight. But it seems to focus on one possibility in particular and just the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. I’ve heard too many long-distance relationships gone wrong because of drunken loneliness and one night stands and ‘she’ll never have to know’s and I can practically hear him say it in my haze of overthinking.

I cheated on you.

“I sold my apartment.” 

I blink. My mouth opens and shuts and I’m at a loss for words because I don’t know what this conversation is going to be. I silently chastise myself for jumping to a conclusion so drastic. Confusion swarms me as I take in how absolutely nervous he is.

“Okay,” I say slowly, trying desperately to grasp what the underlying meaning is, “Why?” I ask eventually.

His lips twitch into a bashful smile, looking out the window briefly before crossing his legs and sitting closer to me, taking my hand in his. 

“Well,” he starts, looking back up at me with soft eyes, “Because lately New Orleans’ hasn’t really felt like home.” Something clicks in my brain and I have to force myself to contain my excitement, just in case I’m wrong, “So the stupid thing was selling my place before comin’ here and askin’ you this but..” he trails off and he looks so nervous and absolutely adorable that I have to restrain myself from kissing him silly. 

“What would ya think about us movin’ in togetha’? Here?” 

A small laugh escapes my lips and I can’t hold myself back anymore, practically tackling him back onto the mattress, kissing him passionately. A grin on my part breaks our kiss. 

“I would fucking love that.” 

A slow smile spreads across his lips like he truly can’t believe that I agreed and I’m helpless to do anything other than kiss him again. 

“Thank God,” he sighs into my mouth, “‘Cause I got ‘Gene on standby ready to ship all my shit over here,” he says in between kisses.

My heart sores. Never again will we have to resort to weekly facetime calls just to see each other’s face. Never again will I forget the warmth of his body against mine and never again will I have to face heartbreaking longing that I feel when he’s not with me. 

My hand cups his jaw and rubs my thumb over his cheekbone, “I love you so damn much, Merriell Shelton.” I say hopelessly. 

He beams at me, rubbing our noses together softly and muttering the phrase that, to us, means unconditional love.

“Near or far.”

~

A/N: AND THAT IT!!! Feedback is welcome or seriously if y’all ever wanna just spam my inbox with Snafu love I am totally here for it.

[lesbianrobin]

oh.... yes..... as an adhd steve-lover (and person who has a history of unknowingly crushing on adhd characters) i beg to hear ur reasoning......... please...

alright so a lot of this is gonna be like projection ddnkjcn and it turned into more of a general character analysis than an adhd analysis and i’m sure that some things i describe will differ from your personal experience so feel free to critique me but here goes:

Why Steve Harrington Has ADHD

Steve struggles in school, yeah, but that’s not really… crucial to my reasoning? I personally did pretty well in school despite having difficulties with getting work done on time and understanding certain things. The fact that he clearly tried to do well and just couldn’t is what’s important. That’s a classic ADHD thing, feeling like there’s some kind of invisible block making it impossible to think the way you’re supposed to be thinking and do the things you’re supposed to be doing. We see him studying a few different times with Nancy (though he’s reluctant to focus on the task in s1), it’s implied he’s written multiple drafts of the essay that he shows Nancy in the beginning of s2, meaning that he wants to do well. After Nancy critiques his essay, he basically decides to give up because he’ll never be able to make it good enough, and he probably shouldn’t even bother applying to college, and he’ll just end up working for his dad anyway. It’s a bit of an extreme jump from the relatively mild criticism he receives, but it seems to me like the kind of mindset that I (and others with ADHD) fall into constantly. First of all, rewriting something you’ve already written when you have ADHD can be… torturous. It’s impossible to focus because you’ve done it already, it feels pointless and boring, and your brain is just done with the topic. To Steve, there’s no point in even trying because he’s never gonna get it right, and he’d rather not even try than apply to college and have to suffer rejection. ADHD isn’t laziness or apathy. People with ADHD actually tend to care a lot about their performance in various aspects of life, and they care so much that it can often either propel them to excellence or drive them to depression over failure (whether that failure is true or perceived). Spoiler alert: we’re about to get into rejection sensitive dysphoria, folks!

I think this describes Steve perfectly. He wants to be the best at everything (Prom King, anyone?) and he cares a lot about what people think of him (to the degree that he spent three of his four years in high school behaving specifically to avoid the possibility of Tommy H and others making fun of him). Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD, is a condition which impacts almost all people with ADHD. This means that they are far more sensitive than most people to what others think about them. Think about Steve’s entire character arc: he essentially spends season one chasing the approval of Tommy, Carol, and Nancy. When Tommy and Carol’s desired behavior differs from Nancy’s, causing conflict, he’s forced to take a look at himself and decide what’s more important to him: pleasing his friends, or doing what’s right. Since Steve is a certified angel, he goes with what’s right, and from there goes on to apologize to Jonathan and help him and Nancy fight the Demogorgon. (Sidenote: the fistfight with Jonathan could definitely be considered as further evidence of ADHD! RSD can cause extreme emotional reactions when the person in question feels that they have been hurt or rejected, such as Steve believing that Nancy cheated on him with Jonathan. The fact that Steve resorted to cruel insults that he clearly doesn’t believe shows that he was acting out of his own hurt and anger, not out of true hatred for Jonathan.) 

Anyway, s1 Steve’s entire life is built around seeking approval from his peers. He realizes that his desire for approval has turned him into somebody that he doesn’t like, so he makes a change, and by s2 we see that he’s shifted somewhat: Now, he wants to please Nancy. He’s able to handle being mocked by Billy and Tommy H because he no longer puts any stock in their brand of approval, but being told by Nancy that she doesn’t love him elicits another (somewhat) extreme emotional response: he immediately leaves her at the party with Jonathan and doesn’t pick her up for school the next morning. He’s upset with her. Later on, he goes to her house with flowers intending to apologize, though he doesn’t actually know what he’s apologizing for. All he wants is for Nancy to be with him and like him again, because he can’t handle feeling unloved and rejected. S2 is also where we see Steve’s academic insecurity, and he hints at issues with feeling like a failure in the eyes of his father. By the end of the season, he’s able to handle not being loved by Nancy because he’s found a new source of self-esteem and approval: Dustin and the rest of the kids. Through acting as their “babysitter,” Steve’s found something to take pride in that nobody can take away from him. Billy may have overshadowed his basketball stardom and broken his keg stand record, but Steve no longer needs these shallow achievements to feel a sense of self-worth. 

S3 shows that, although he’s moved on from seeking approval from specific peers, Steve is still stuck searching for validation. He flirts indiscriminately hoping for anybody to respond positively, and he gets a job to appease his father. Here, I’m gonna jump ahead a little bit (because that’s just the way my brain is saying it’s gotta be lmao) and talk about a few of Steve’s other canon traits, then circle back around to how we see his ongoing struggle with RSD manifest in s3.

Now for the trait that people more commonly associate with ADHD, especially in men and young boys: hyperactivity. This one is a little more self-explanatory so I’m not gonna spend as much time on it. Steve excels in situations with clearly defined rules and expectations where it’s easier to stay on-track, as well as in high-pressure, fast-paced environments. This is why he succeeds in basketball and why he’s such a big damn hero every season. He thinks on his feet and steps up in intense situations without hesitation. Steve is the one who wedged something under the elevator door so that everyone could escape, he’s the one who took out a Russian soldier before he was able to alert anybody else, and when he saw Billy about to ram into Team Griswold Family, he crashed into Billy’s car. Part of this is the fact that it’s a sci-fi action horror show, and there are going to be dramatic action-packed situations, but it’s telling that if Steve is around, he’s almost always the one leaping into danger and adapting to the situation to deal with it quickly. Speaking of s3: The conversation Steve and Robin had on the floor in the Russian torture chamber!

This feeds into an even more elaborate Steve meta theory of mine about how he basically lives his life as if it’s a play and there’s a script and a set of rules that he’s gotta follow to please the audience, so I’m not gonna go into ALL of it, but this conversation is also important to the idea of Steve having ADHD and struggling with RSD. Steve says, “It just baffles me. Everything that people tell you is important, everything that people say you should care about, it’s all just… bullshit.” When Robin says that she feels like her life has been “one big error,” he agrees. So far, Steve has lived his whole life according to one set of rules. If you flirt with girls and go to parties and play basketball, you’ll be cool and popular. Now that he’s graduated, he’s floundering. The structure of high school is gone and everything he worked for doesn’t actually matter in real life. People with ADHD often struggle more than others with the transition from high school to either college or the working world. Loss of familiar frameworks, routines, and actions can hit the ADHD mind hard, and this is pretty clearly happening to Steve in s3. In the beginning of the season, he can’t even manage to have a decent conversation with a girl without bringing up school and his own perceived failures. Sidenote: Robin also mentions that Steve was late to class every single day, which is both extremely relatable to me and the most ADHD thing I’ve ever heard. I knew exactly how long it took me to get from my house to the school, and I woke up with plenty of time to get ready every single morning, yet I somehow managed to be late so many mornings that I got multiple detentions and ended up having to skip a couple of classes entirely because another tardy would have fucked up my disciplinary record.

Later on in the bathroom scene, when he’s talking about why he didn’t talk to Robin back in school, Steve says, “…maybe ‘cause Tommy H would’ve made fun of me or I wouldn’t be Prom King. It’s stupid…” and it’s somewhat of a continuation of the earlier conversation. Steve is expressing the same sentiment. Now that he’s out of high school, everything that he once used to measure his success and self-worth is just stupid. This is another classic RSD thing! People with ADHD/RSD often set impossibly high standards for themselves and then struggle with self-hatred and doubt when they cannot live up to these expectations. Robin kind of inspires and encourages him to set new, more attainable standards for himself. Spending time with Robin makes Steve happy in a way that he’s never really been before, and he realizes that all of the benchmarks of normalcy and success that he’s been striving for don’t guarantee happiness like they’re supposed to. Instead of finding happiness in academic, romantic, or athletic success, he finds happiness in an unlikely friendship. His whole arc for three seasons has essentially been a big struggle with RSD and impulsivity where he learned how to handle social rejection and place the needs and feelings of others before his own.

There’s also a ton of little things in Joe Keery’s acting choices that support ADHD Steve, like his near-perpetual motion and the way that he’s gotta pace and eat a damn banana (both the traditional way and the no-homo breaking it into pieces way, might I add) so he can listen to Dustin talk about the Russian code. I personally relate to a lot of things he does, like mixing up basic names and facts (like Nazis/Germans in s2 and Gumby/gumbo in s3), and needing to explain a whole situation out loud before he really gets it (like when he runs down the entire monster situation in the mall in s3). I don’t know if those are ADHD things but they make me feel Seen. 

Anyways. That’s about it!! Thanks for asking lmao

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Fifteen - Violet at the Lake

Klaus was a bit skeptical. “It’s not gonna be pleasant to watch a man be eaten alive.” 

“It won’t be pleasant to be captured either.” Violet shrugged. She opened the snackbag, saying, “Obviously I won’t eat these, but a few drops in the water should attract their attention. I’m going to crawl under the house, where the lakeside is, and summon a couple. It should be easy to snag a few, and then once we have them, they’ll attack Olaf when I dump them in the water, as he’ll have just eaten.” 

“Can’t I come with you? It could be dangerous.” 

“It will be, which is why you need to stay here. Someone has to keep Olaf and Josephine in place until I return, and more people in the water will attract leech attention we don’t want.” 

“I just- don’t know if I want you out there alone.” 

Violet smiled and put a hand on his cheek. “Hey. I know. I’m not super into leaving you here, either. But if we don’t kill Olaf, he kills us. You know?” 

“Yeah…” Klaus nodded, and then moved to the bed, picking up Sunny. “What should we do?” 

“Keep Josephine here. And keep your bag with you, in case the plan goes wrong. I’ll be right back with our leeches.” Violet slung her bag over her shoulder, and said, “See you in a sec.” 

And with that, she was off. 

Klaus sat at the kitchen table, and he continued, “So, Lindley Murray developed his study in the nineteenth century of the role of language in European countries, concluding that Latin was distinguished from the Ancient Greek approach.” 

Josephine nodded, stirring the soup, as Sunny sat beside her and watched, cocking her head in interest. “Yes, good memorization, Klaus. And what were the two grammar books published in 1711-” 

“A Grammar of the English Tongue by John Brightland and Essay towards a Practical Grammar Usage by James Greenwood.” 

“Yes! You’ve been keeping up your studies.” 

Klaus sighed. Well, nothing else to do here. “Yeah.” he paused, and then said, “Josephine, when was the last time you talked to our parents?” 

Josephine shook her head. “Oh, it was long ago.” 

“Yeah, what happened?” 

“I’d rather not discuss the past.” 

Klaus shared an incredulous glance with Sunny, who crawled off the counter and onto the floor. “You know, sometimes talking about scary things can make them seem not so scary anymore.” 

“That’s not entirely true.” 

“Well, it works.” Klaus fiddled with his hands, bouncing his leg. “When I was five, I talked to my Dad about wild wolves, and I realized they’re only scary if you’re on their territory. There are plenty of people who work with wolves and find them to be quite friendly if you’re not a threat.” 

“Yes, but the second you’re seen as a threat, you’re in the middle of a pack of wolves.” Josephine sighed. She stirred the soup some more, and then said, “Where’s Violet?” 

“I-in her room.” Klaus said. “You know, resting. She… feels bad about being so rude.” 

“Yes, rudeness is quite…” 

“Rude?”   

“And where’s Sunny?” 

“Oh, she…” Klaus paused, looking down at the ground. 

Shit. 

“Hold on a moment.” Klaus got to his feet, and quickly left the room. He glanced up and down the hallway, his heart beating quite a bit faster. “Sunny?” 

He didn’t hear a response, and immediately everything that could go wrong jumped to the forefront of his head, along with the dark, haunting image of Sunny in a cage, pounding on the bars, screaming, while Klaus was held back, and he couldn’t move, he couldn’t get to her…

“Sunny!” he called, and ran to the nearest room, throwing open the door and peering in. No baby. “Sunny!” 

A panic rose in his chest, and he ran to the next room, and then the next, still shouting for his sister. He bust down every door, holding pulling the straps on his bag as tight as possible so it couldn’t fall and slow him down, every empty room increasing his fear. Is this how Josephine feels all the time? Fuckin hell… 

“Sunny!” 

He finally raced into a room, and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his little sister sitting by the edge of a bed, gnawing on the wood. She looked up in surprise, and Klaus sighed, leaning against the doorway. “Don’t scare me like that, Sunny!” 

She mumbled an apology, and he moved forwards, kneeling beside her. “Why are you here, anyway? There’s plenty of things to teethe on in the kitchen, where we’re supposed to be.” 

“Sirrah,” Sunny shook her head, “I’m not teething at the moment; my teeth have come in fine.” 

“Well, then, why’d you run off?” 

She sighed, and then looked up at Klaus and said, “Letom.” “Do you remember when we were in that motel for a few weeks, and Mother and Father told us that if we had to hide, not to go under the bed?” 

“Because robbers will look for valuables there first,” Klaus nodded, “And when people don’t want to have something in plain sight, they put it-” 

“Seeka yit.” Sunny nodded, and she grabbed Josephine’s navy bedspread and lifted it, crawling under. 

“Sunny, she already has a safe, why would anything be under the-” Klaus began. 

“Found!” Sunny called. 

“What? Lemme see!” 

Sunny pushed a large book from beneath the blanket, and Klaus picked it up. An atlas of Lake Lachrymose. Sunny pushed another book out, and Klaus sighed as he lifted it. “A biography of Ivan Lachrymose, Lake Explorer.” he said. “It- hold on, I think there’s some papers stuffed in here-” he shook the book, and some typewritten sheets fell. But after looking over them a moment, he said, “Nevermind, this just seems to be a building committee transcript. Boring as the rest of the book.” 

“Found!” Sunny repeated, and then she crawled out and held out some kind of metal tube in her small hand. “Thing!” 

“Lemme see.” Klaus dropped the book, taking the tube, and flipped it over in his hands, seeing the VFD eye emblazoned on the cover. “Oh! It’s a spyglass.” 

“Pygla?” Sunny asked. 

“It’s like a telescope, but these dials can give you extra shit.” Klaus explained. He bit his lip, and said, “Mother and Father didn’t show me all of them- they’ve got one, probably still with them- but if you turn the dials this way- see, it heats up!”

The lid flipped open, and a red, warm light glowed out. Sunny ooed and held out a hand, feeling the heat. “Oose.” she said. 

“You’re right, that could be useful.” Klaus nodded, before shuffling the spyglass back to normal and closing it up. “Think we should steal it?” 

“Whyno?” 

“You’re right. Not like she’ll miss it. Was there anything else under there?” 

Sunny nodded, and crawled back under the bed. She returned, pushing a large, leather-bound book ahead of her. Klaus flipped it open, looking down at the loopy handwriting. “It’s Josephine’s.” 

“Wympi?” 

“Yeah, it does seem like a diary.” 

“Ree?” 

Klaus sighed, and glanced at the door. “Well, Josephine’s busy in the kitchen. Might as well see what secrets are in here, huh?” 

“Yee!” 

What they did not think of, as they were flipping open the diary, was that they were supposed to be in the kitchen distracting Josephine, and that if Josephine wandered into the library, looking for the children, her window would give her a great view of the beach. 

They also did not notice the storm brewing outside. 

Violet crept down to the water, trying to stifle her fear. She didn’t know much about these leeches, only what Josephine had told her, but she was able to decipher that they were quite dangerous and fast-acting. She hadn’t eaten in over an hour, though, so she would likely be safe, so long as she didn’t hold onto the snackbag too long. She knelt by the water, and tore open the bag, scattering some mix into the waves. Then she pulled out Klaus’s jar, filling it about halfway with water, then sprinkling a few bits of mix into it. Then she watched the waves, and she waited. 

It started raining a bit, but she didn’t mind. She quite liked the rain, actually. Even as it started pouring, and the wind picked up, she kept waiting in unbothered silence. She wondered, after a few quiet minutes, if the rain scared the leeches off, or if she was too close to the shore for the leeches to smell the food. Maybe she should’ve gone out a bit farther; she had a bit of mix left, she could do that. She waded into the waves, scattering food around before backing a bit farther, to keep a safe distance from the leech bait. The last thing she wanted was to be attacked by angry leeches while trying to get rid of Count Olaf. 

She paused, then, wondering where Count Olaf was now. Perhaps he was on his way over already, or at the house and being distracted by Klaus and Sunny. Or maybe, she shivered, he was with their parents, taunting them, harming them. “Don’t worry,” she whispered to no one, hugging herself a little as the droplets continued to pour onto her, “You’ll be free soon.” 

Violet shut her eyes, letting her imagination run off with her. She just wanted her parents back. For the last few days, she’d had little doubt they’d escape- they were Beatrice and Bertrand fucking Baudelaire, they could escape anything. But, well… it had been a while. Their parents hadn’t left them alone this long, and they had to know where the safehouses were. Surely they’d be here by now. 

Stop having doubts. They’ll be fine. She trusted them, she knew them, she knew that once Olaf was dead they’d come get them, and they’d be okay again- it didn’t matter if they had to go back on the run and back into hiding and never live a normal life again, because normal was just whenever they were together. She wanted to play cards with her parents and hug them and tell them she knew they’d get out and now they could protect her again and she wouldn’t have to be in charge of Klaus and Sunny and have to wade into an ocean, listening for dangerous leeches. 

Listening… for… 

Lost in her thoughts, she only just now started back to reality. There was something behind her, splashing as it came closer… but it didn’t sound like leeches, it was too big, too lumbering, almost like footsteps-  

She opened her eyes just as, quick as a whip, an arm wrapped around her chest and yanked her back. Violet let out a piercing shriek, but after only a second a filthy hand clamped over her mouth, muffling her voice. 

“I was starting to wonder if you brats ever separated.” Olaf hissed into her ear. 

Violet tried very hard to push back the frightened tears that sprang to the edge of her eyes, and she kicked back, trying to wrestle her way out of his reach. Instead, he tightened his grip on her, pulling her way too close. She started flailing, trying just to break his hold, to bite his hand, to get away. Think, Violet, how do you get out of this situation? 

“Now what are you doing all the way out here?” Olaf asked, seemingly not caring how hard she was struggling against him. “Trying to take a swim in the rain? Or are you escaping out this way? I thought you might try to run before I got Josephine out of the house, so it’s a good thing I arrived early, isn’t it?” 

Violet kept trying to scream through his mouth. She managed to stamp hard on his foot, but instead of releasing her, he snarled and moved quickly, pushing her down. Violet felt a hard, sharp jolt as her back hit the water and then the rocks beneath, and only barely managed to shut her eyes before her head went under the waves. 

She felt a rush around her, water pouring around her face and ears. It was incredibly hot, probably just due to the shock of it, but that didn’t stop her from feeling as if she was being boiled for a moment. Salt lapped across her face, up her nose, and the hand over her mouth released only for an instant, water rushing into that, too, as she instinctively tried to scream. It tasted bitter, sour, sick. 

When she was seven, they stayed in a town very near to the ocean. There was a rental beach house that Beatrice found out would be empty for a week, and they roomed there, with a great view of the sea from the bedroom window. On the first night, Violet, who did not yet realize the difference between saltwater and freshwater, thought they had hit the jackpot on a water source, and one night thought it would be a great idea to fill their empty water bottles while everyone was asleep. She snuck out, slinging water inside and giggling as the waves lapped at her feet. She filled up the bottles, putting them up on the counter before going back to bed. The next morning, she grabbed a bottle and took a swig, and realized her mistake right then, before spitting up in the sink. Klaus had come in just after and did the exact same thing. Violet, feeling like she’d done something wrong, started crying, which caused Beatrice and Bertrand to rush in, scared they were hurt. 

Bertrand picked up Klaus, who wasn’t crying but was looking very confused, and Beatrice knelt by Violet, trying to calm her down. As soon as Violet explained the situation, she burst into laughter and explained the concept of saltwater to her daughter, and that was that. Violet hadn’t thought about that day in years. 

She didn’t know why it came back to her then- well, she supposed swallowing saltwater was the main culprit. But she’d gone to the beach and accidentally inhaled the sharp liquid before, and it hadn’t happened then. 

Maybe it was because she was terrified, and she just wanted her mother to laugh at her daughter’s foolish error, telling her it was no big deal, and she wasn’t in trouble, and everything was going to be fine. 

Violet surfaced the water, and Olaf grabbed her shirt collar, yanking her up close to him. She struggled to breathe, blinking water out of her eyes, still wriggling to try and get away from him. 

“Still got some fight in you.” he hmmed, and then he pushed her under again. 

And then that sensation was all over her again, but worse. Hotter, scratchier. Water went up her nose and it hurt like hell, even though her eyes were shut she could feel the current press against them, her hair flew into her face and neck, feeling like it was strangling her. The rough hand against her collar flattened, pushing her down under the water, into the blackness and rushing, churning, hot waves. He pressed more against her, his other arm holding hers back so she couldn’t even use those to try to propel herself to the surface or fight him off. 

Then, in a minute, she had surfaced again. But this time she felt the grip on her tighten more, her body forced into a standing position as she coughed up water. 

She heard a distant call- “What is going on?” 

Violet blinked water from her eyes, the salt stinging and causing tears to start to flow. Her vision was blurry for a moment, as she heard Olaf call, in his false Captain Sham voice, “Ah! Good lady! Your sister ‘ere was takin a swim! Went a bit too deep, I reckon!” 

Her vision finally returned, and Violet saw Josephine standing at the edge of the beach. She glanced quickly down at the water, scuttling backwards to avoid the lapping waves, too fearful to go further. She had to shout in order to speak to the others. “Ah, Captain Sham! Thank you. Now please come back to shore…” 

“No!” Violet gasped, trying to stagger away, but Olaf still had a hold on her arms. “Josephine, please, help me!” 

“Violet, Captain Sham is getting you out of the water! Now, you know better than to go swimming in a hurricane- or even at all!” 

“He’s Count Olaf! He’s trying to hurt me, please, Josephine-” 

“Violet, I’ve had enough of this nonsense!” Josephine shouted, and Violet burst into tears as she saw Olaf’s smirk. 

“Please! Please fucking help us-” 

“Language, Violet! Now come ashore!” 

“Perhaps I could show her how to swim better.” Olaf said, and Violet was unsure if he said it loud enough for Josephine to hear. 

“Captain Sham!” Josephine hesitated, and then stepped a bit closer. “Please bring her asho…” 

Josephine’s voice trailed off, and Violet saw that her head had lowered, her gaze fixed on their legs. Violet looked down, and realized with a start, and a triumphant grin, that Olaf had discarded his peg leg for the swim. 

“Now, Josephine!” Olaf called, and he dropped his false voice. “Why don’t you be a dear and wait for me in the taxi?” 

Josephine’s eyes widened, and she stumbled back. “I- I suppose that might be best…” 

“Josephine!” Violet screamed. “Josephine, Klaus and Sunny- get them out! Klaus and Sunny-” 

“Shut up about your annoying siblings.” Olaf pulled his arm around her chest again and squeezed, causing her to gasp as her breath was cut off a moment. “We’ll take care of them soon enough.” 

Violet looked to see Josephine start to back farther away from the water, and an anger entered her. “Leave them alone! Leave them alone!” 

He leaned down closer to her, and she could smell his foul breath as he said, with a dark shine in his eye, “Make me.” 

Violet froze. 

He pulled her arms down, and released her chest so he could pull her hair along with it so that she would meet his eyes. She remained frozen a moment, panic paralyzing her just as it had before, rain pouring down in sheets and pelting her with cold water, the wind blowing against her as if it wanted her to fall right into Olaf’s trap. 

And then the thought of Klaus and Sunny entered her mind, and the thought of her parents, wherever they were. What would Mother do? 

Violet looked up at him, glared, and spat in his face. 

And within a moment, she was forced underwater again. 

It is very hard to describe the sound you hear when water goes into your ears, but the best Violet could think of at the moment was pressing. Pushing, prodding… if those things could be heard, that was what was happening to her, and it was deafening. 

She struggled for air, and a thought hit her. No. No, I can’t leave Klaus and Sunny like this. No- 

No… 

All of a sudden, the grip on her released. She heard a distant splash, something or someone falling into the water, but she didn’t pay attention, instead immediately throwing out her arms, pushing down as fast as she could, practically catapulting herself back up to the surface. As soon as her head popped out, she gasped, breathing as deeply as possible. She staggered to her feet, wiping water from her eyes, and then she let out a scream, hoping someone would hear her. 

Then she turned around and realized that someone was there. 

Josephine pushed Violet back as Olaf resurfaced, grabbing the older woman’s arm. She was sopping wet, and her hairnet had fallen, white hair spilling around her face. Waves lapped at her dress as she tugged against Olaf, and she shouted, “Violet! Run!” 

“Wh- Josephine?” 

“Go!” 

Violet stumbled back as Olaf got up, trying to drag Josephine down, and then she heard it. 

The low sound was almost like a quiet whispering, as if people were murmuring secrets in the water. But it was not people approaching. Whether they finally smelled Violet’s food, or if one of the adults had recently eaten, Violet didn’t know, but what she knew was the leeches were coming. 

Violet caught a glimpse of them as they swam forwards; small, black shapes, scarcely longer than a finger. There were hundreds, swarming, and coming very, very close. 

She turned to Josephine, but the woman had frozen in terror, and Olaf was able to thrust her into the water. Violet screamed as he did, and she raced backwards. She grabbed the glass jar she’d dropped, floating in the water, and, without thinking, threw it at Olaf. While it didn’t seem to hurt him much, it did manage to make him lose a bit of balance, which isn’t good when you’re in the ocean. Violet ran for Josephine, grabbing the older woman’s hand and dragging her along as she started racing back to shore. Josephine started screaming something about being terrified, but Violet wasn’t listening, just intent on getting them to safety before… 

Josephine’s hand slipped from hers, but Violet didn’t think much of it, just focusing on getting back to the beach. She skidded across the sand, and only then looked back and realized her mistake. 

Olaf had grabbed Josephine’s arm, and the two were fighting in the ocean. The leeches were drawing closer, and as Violet watched, Olaf threw Josephine farther into the water. 

She didn’t even think, she just started back into the water, racing for a moment, the only thought in her head that Josephine saved me, I have to save her, even if I have to strangle Olaf myself- 

Then she heard a creak above her. 

She stopped, only a few feet back into the ocean, and she looked up. She hadn’t noticed how horrible the storm had gotten, how fierce the winds were, sharp rain smashing against the rocks around her. 

And against the house. 

Josephine’s house was rocking, the stilts beneath starting to creak and moan. They wouldn’t last long. 

Klaus and Sunny. 

Violet looked back, to see Olaf kicking Josephine, splashing at her, drawing her farther from shore and closer to the leeches. She had no doubt that without help, their guardian would die. 

But she was the eldest Baudelaire sibling, and they were still in that house. 

So she blinked back more tears, and turned and ran. 

As she ran up the hill, she heard the screams begin, just as she started to scream, too. She screamed, not from pain, but from panic, as she caught sight of Josephine Anwhistle’s house falling into the ocean.

[wingsoffireaus]

Fanfiction Recommendations

Just a few of my personal favorite Wings of Fire fanfictions. I'm going to try and keep them organized but no promises.

Also please give these fics love by leaving a review. They are honestly really good and lot of them have like maybe five reviews at the most. I'm trying to get better at leaving reviews myself. It is so important to make sure they know it is being enjoyed by others.

If anyone has a fic they don't see on here let me know since I might have forgotten it or not read it yet. Thank you and enjoy!

Shipping

Healed by @sandshadow

Summary: Flame has a lot of issues and has been sent away to the healing center in the Sky Kingdom to deal with them. The last dragons he expected, or wanted, to see there were Umber and Sora. As Flame spends more time in the healing center, and with Umber, he starts to heal in more ways than one. But can he overcome the hate that's been growing in him for so long? T for coarse language.

A personal favorite of mine. And Flumber has quickly become a favorite pairing of mine in this fandom. The only problem I have is there's not a lot of Flumber outside of this fic. But that's okay since there has been an addition to the lore (is that the right word here?) of the fic with an adorable two-shot that takes place a little bit after the events of this fic.

But on other news it's honestly just a good character piece as well. Umber and Flame get great focus and we also get to see Sora again. And there's therapy. Honest to goodness these characters are getting therapy. Praise the Moon's!!!!

10/10 will read again. (Honestly its become one of my therapy fics that I read when I get upset. 😆)

Embracing Peril by Ilral (for the life of me I couldn't find out if there was a Tumblr for them so please let me know so I can add it onto this post.)

Summary: Peril always knew she was different, of course, but it still surprised her just how many ways the world came up with to make her distant. Oh well, at least Clay is here now to buoy her up. And they might just have more in common than she realizes...

A pretty good Cleril fic that deals with a lot of potential prejudices the dragon society might have. A lot of these aren't my headcanons but I can still appreciate the work that went into the fic. And the characters are written pretty well. I like seeing Clay and Peril as an established couple.

A perfect example of it being possible to enjoy a fic even if you don't necessarily share all of the same headcanons as the author.

How to Dance with Rainwings by @quasimagical

Summary: Deathbringer had never anticipated the harsh reality of being pushed away by the love of his life. But when the RainWing queen presents him with a new assignment, he finds himself trapped in the middle of an even more puzzling predicament. AU.

OMG. It's a Jambringer fic. Honestly this one is really cute and I totally ship it. Just a warning Glorybringer isn't the only ship the author breaks up. And while I personally don't ship all the ships they went with I'm the type of person who can still roll with it. Haha.

Another issue is it actually has not been finished but from what I've heard the author does plan on picking it up again sooner or later. But it's definitely worth a read. It's good to see a Deathbringer fic where he is actually treated as a character and not... Well you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Anyway give it a read and review! It's worth it. :)

The Prince and the Body Guard by @a-croissant (based off of their bio on ffnet so hopefully that's right.)

Summary: A oneshot between Turtle and Pike. When Turtle notices that Anemone gets rid of Pike, and Pike runs away, he decides to go after him.

That's right it's a Pike/Turtle one shot. Low key this is really cute. That's kind of all I have to say about it. I ship it and it's adorable.

Character Fics

Winter: A Character Study/Faded Portraits by @sandshadow

Summary: Winter lies awake thinking of everything he's done wrong. The family he disappointed, the love he lost, and the friends he pushed away, but as the night wears on he comes to a new realization about himself.

Wow! Two @sandshadow fics on the list? What?!

Nah but seriously guys this is potentially one of my favorite fics in the fandom. Because I don't know if you know this but I am a Winter fan. And I am still bitter about how he was treated at the end of DoD.

(Also if I have to read any more Winterwatcher fics about him apologizing to Moon for being reasonably upset about a legitimately traumatic experience I am going to scream. )

Anyway. This is what I wish his epilogue in DoD had been. Read it for yourself. Leave a review... I practically an essay myself. My bad. 😅

Winter Returning by Fatespeaker (I can't find a Tumblr for this author so if anyone knows please let me know so I can add it to this post.)

Summary: A week before Icicle's trial, Winter returns to the Ice Kingdom for a very awkward visit. Tensions are high. Old conflicts have resurfaced. With his tribe still reeling from the recent disaster, his family destroyed, and a complicated friendship to deal with, Winter is left picking up the pieces of his old life...and discovering hope for a new one.

Surprise, surprise. It's another Winter fic. I love this boy so much.

Honestly this is done pretty well and we also get to see Winter interact with his family some more as well as getting to see him face some of his own trauma.

It's angsty in all of the best ways.

Aftermath by Fatespeaker (this author has some pretty good stuff honestly.)

Summary: When it comes to living family, Starflight definitely got the short end of the stick. He's kept his distance from his mad scientist father. Well-meaning Fatespeaker wants to help her friend by interviewing Mastermind, but even the briefest of conversations can dredge up uncomfortable truths. War is complicated...its aftermath is messier still.

Kudos to the author for touching on a pretty controversial character. I mean I completely understand why people dislike him. But I can't help it. The fact that his first thought when meeting Starflight was "look at my beautiful boy isn't he astounding!" It was just so refreshing in all the best ways.

I knew the shoe would drop, and what a shoe it was, but I still have a weird fondness for him. And don't fuss me. People can like characters who did horrible things and the thing is I think he's not beyond saving. It will be a lot of work but its possible.

Mastermind- The Scientist and Mastermind- The Monster by The Friendly Space Marine (Again. I don't know if there is a Tumblr for this author. I am so sorry.)

Summary: Mastermind. The NightWing who would become infamous for experimenting on live RainWing subjects. But what is the story behind Starflight's often demonised father? Why did he do it? What drove him to such lengths?

Mastermind. The NightWing embodiment of the mad scientist archetype. A dragon held in contempt by his own son. A monster responsible for unspeakable crimes against the RainWings. What made him do it? Did he ever truly realise the gravity of his actions? 

I really like this take on the character! It adds a new layer to him that nobody really wants to acknowledge or see which I think comes back to the fact that people want to always see characters as good or bad. And I've already stated that I hate that mindset. Like... Wow, people with that mindset must live in a very boring and frankly cold world. I'm sorry for your loss.

Story Driven

Stories that are a little more story driven. Although some are very character-based too so this was kind of hard for me separate. Anyway enjoy!

Finding Peace by @warriorofspectra (for some reason it won't link. I don't understand Tumblr!!!)

Summary:Peacemaker has enjoyed a happy seven years. Raised by his mother and living amongst the RainWing and NightWing Tribes, he would ask for no better life. But with the emergence of nightmares, which have grown increasingly vivid upon arriving at the Jade Mountain Academy, Peacemaker begins to question whether or not the life he lives truly is his own or the shadow of another.

Ey... I already talked about this one before but it's definitely up there as one of my favorite fanfictions and probably my favorite Peacemaker fanfiction.

I don't even want to say anything in too much detail because it's just too good. All you need to know is the characters are great, including OCs. Peacemaker is adorable and almost makes me feel bad for hating the strawberry scene... Almost. Seriously just read it. And then take a peak at the authors side drabble series from POV of the other characters. There's one about Winter that I read just because it makes me so happy to see him again. Agh!

In the Light of the Moon's by Qebui (which is actually a group of people. So I have no clue if there are any Tumblrs associated or not)

Summary: We know the Dragonets of Destiny. Five dragons hatched on brightest night. However, what if the dragonets had hatched in the moonlight instead?

That's right we got a thrice born Starflight and Sunny Fanfiction. Not too much to say about this one. I just love this concept and I like what the authors are doing with it. :D

And... I think that's pretty much it. Wow, this was a lot of hard work. But fun. Lots of fun. And it was good coming back to some of these. Again if there was any I missed please let me know and I will glad I do an updated list adding them to it.

Thanks so much and see ya next time!