#but like. enough to know that i am at least capable of producing non-terrible things

[thesporkidentity]

i don't think i'm ever going to finish these WIPs and i completely forgot where i was going with them, but it's quite vindicating to re-read them and discover they weren't the pile of steaming shit that my memory had convinced me they were. in fact, the parts that were written would actually have been pretty solid with just a little editing

[hopeatermeetsgodzilla]

Chapter 4

“Human.” Alan Jonah turned toward the voice. Ghidorah was back, the three pair of black eyes and crescent moon marking on his forehead looming over him and contrasting the golden color of the shimmering specter. “I’ve returned to update myself on the situation. When are you going to free I and my servants?”

“Soon enough, we already have a plan made.” Jonah tried reassuring the specter, who tsk-ed.

“Really?” The soul took on a wisp-like form for a moment, getting away from Jonah as he got up only to reform, what the terrorist could only assume to be an imitation of the Titan’s hair floating around him like a halo. “Because it sounds to me like you’re making excuses for not being capable of freeing me.”

(Ichi might be stuck projecting his soul outside of his body to manipulate some lowly humans into helping him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun with it. It also meant he had to lie about his brothers being slaves instead of what made two thirds of his being, but it had been San’s idea and Ni had seconded it, their ground being that they didn’t want some human to try and use their bond as a weakness.)

“We do have a plan.” Jonah hissed through gritted teeth, Ghidorah giggling. “It’s just taking us time to put it into motion. If you would please follow me.”

Jonah started walking down a corridor of the hijacked Monarch base, the specter following him in his wisp form, apparently to avoid being seen by people he had no business with. They arrived in a room full of computers, the only person here a dark-skinned woman with her hair in a bun as Ghidorah switched back to something more humanoid.

“Kane?” The woman turned toward them, gasping in surprise when she saw Ghidorah, who’s only reaction was to tilt his head to the side inquisitively. “This is King Ghidorah. It turns out that Titans can project themselves outside of their bodies, and this is Titan we’re attempting to free.”

Upon seeing the golden specter’s inquisitive head tilt, Emily got up, back straight and shoulders squared, and bowed her head. “M- My name is Emily Kane. I am a hacker of the Titan Liberation Front, as well as one of it’s spies and biological engineers. It’s an honor to meet you, King Ghidorah.”

Ghidorah straightened his head, one hand reaching out to make Emily stand straight again. “You can rise, and the information is appreciated. Now, I believe your king wanted you to show me how you were going to free my body from it’s icy prison?”

(Ichi hadn’t tilted his head in confusion to know who the human woman was. He had because he thought the bugs valued kindness in a leader. Emotionally speaking, this Emily radiated warmth, while the king of this little group was as cold as the ice his brothers and he were imprisoned in.)

“That is right!” Emily declared, sitting bakck down and starting to type on her computers. “Now, I think Monarch got themselves a new chief programmer because I kept bumping into firewalls and redirections and passwords demands at some point we got a virus that would make the Power Rangers theme song play over the speakers non-stop-”

“Get to the point, Kane.”

“While I appreciate your efforts to explain modern human technology, it’s ultimately irrelevant to me.”

“... right. We eventually got some footage of yesterday.” She explained. “Monarch’s most recent addition, and I have reasons to believe he’s also the most dangerous, Julian Cyan Florès, finished the ORCA prototype yesterday. Here’s the footage.”

-

“- and if you turn the dial here-” Florès pointed at a dial with numbers circling it. “-you can either amplify or diminish the Titans bioacoustic’s imitations. Which is good, because the only sound the prototype can make is one that essentially means ‘stand down, I’m in charge here’, and the louder it gets, the more forceful it is.”

“On which Titan are you guys going to test it?” A soldier stationed at Castle Bravo asked from the back of the control room.

“Hopefully, with one that’s benevolent, like the Infant Titan, and not a bitch like the Mara Titan.” Florès deadpanned. “He might be the shortest of the documented Titans, but that motherfucker is still four and a half meters tall and filled with impotent rage, and he can fly and takes baths in lava.” 

“For the Americans in here, that’s roughly a little under fifteen feet tall.” Coleman informed them, getting up as Florès sat back down. “Just with this, we have a tool that will allow us to keep the Titans away from major cities when they start awakening en masse. Any questions?” A beat, then someone raised their hand. “Emma?”

“What are the future plans for the ORCA?” Dr Russell asked, tilting her head in interest.

“Well, firstly: a widespread security system tailored for cities to keep the Titans from rampaging through them, with enough options to keep them at bay.” Coleman started. “This system will use a sound bank that means ‘our territory’. Hopefully, it’ll be enough until a more concrete anti-Titan security system can be found.”

“We’re considering electro-magnetism shields.”  Florès added from his seat, Coleman nodding.

“What about communication with the Titans?” Dr Graham asked.

“Excellent question; Florès, I’m letting you take the helm again.”

“Thank you, Coleman.” The younger man stated as he got back up. “My current plan for now is that, once we have more material to work with, to create an audio-helmet with a microphone.” Florès started. “After that, I would create a rudimentary translation program that should, at least, allow us to communicate back and fort knowing the other’s intent using the final. That would be the final ORCA.” 

“That doesn’t seem very ideal-”

“Ideally, however,” Florès snapped at Stanton, his tone clearly getting the ‘I wasn’t finished’ message across. “I would scrap the ORCA all together and create a new form of Titan communication called the All-Speak, which would allow us to have direct and concise discussions with Titans, amongst other thing!”

“And how much,” Colonel Foster started, her hand going back down, “would both of these projects cost?”

“The ORCA would just require an increase in resources and maybe some additional staff.” Florès started. “The biggest setback will be getting all of the Titans sound to put into it, but once the first official model is complete, we should be able to mass-produce it. As for the All-Speak...” the latino laughed nervously. “Let’s just say the first draft was ‘small computer that connects to your brain’ and it got more complicated from here.”

Everyone turned toward Serizawa, who seemed deep in thought. “For now,” Monarch’s scientist started. “Focus on perfecting the ORCA. If it’s a success, we’ll consider whether or not to start work on the All-Speak.”

“That’s reasonable.” Foster approved, nodding her head as Florès sighed in relief.

“In the meantime, Florès? If you wish to work on the All-Speak as a personal project, feel free to-” 

“DR. SERIZAWA!” A scientist that had stayed at their post suddenly exclaimed, interrupting the man. “THE TITAN ON IWATO ISLAND IS WAKING UP-”

-

“Turn it off.” Ghidorah told Emily, who just acquiesced and proceeded to do so. It wouldn’t do to anger a god, after all.

Jonah turned toward Ghidorah’s specter, gesturing at the screen. “This is how we’re planning to free you: one of scientists in Monarch has a daughter. We kidnap and hold the daughter for ransom, and force the scientist to steal the ORCA and bring it here. We’ll then use the ORCA to send a wake up call to your body.”

“Yes, that would work.” Ghidorah said after a short moment of thinking. “If there is something I hate above all else, it’s receiving orders. Make sure the sound is loud to pierce through the ice.”

“And when that happens,” Jonah started, chuckling, “You will get rid of the Titans that have imprisoned you, and existence will bow down at our feet.”

(Our? Ichi Ghidorah would’ve scoffed at the insinuation that he and this lowly human were equals if it wasn’t so amusing. These humans, who seemed convinced he and his brothers were benevolent and wanted to help them, would find out soon enough just why their ancestors where too scared to even speak the name of the Golden Demise.)

“Oh, don’t worry.” Ghidorah started in a voice Emily could recognize as ‘forced neutrality’ “Humanity will get everything that’s coming to it.”

-

Rodan woke up in a startle, his eyes staring up at the starry skies. He slowly sat up at the edge of his nest, frowning in a deeply-seated worry he couldn’t explain. 

His chest was aching, especially the lightning scar one the Death Song of the Three Storms left him a few thousands of years ago right where is heart was, back when he was still just a regular earth Fowl and not the Fire Demon.

Not as a warning, but as a reminder.

You’re centuries too early for us. Come back when you’re worth looking at.

He shook off the impression that something was terribly, terribly wrong, and went back to sleep.

[c-is-for-circinate]

It occurs to me that I promised y’all I’d tell you stories from the D&D campaign I’m running, and it’s now been a week since the first session, so I should definitely do some of that!  I can already tell it’s going to be a fun-as-shit campaign.  If nothing else, my party and I are collectively five variably-queer ladies who met at knitting group and range in age from “haven’t played D&D since 2e at GenCon in the 90′s” to “too young to remember fandom before AO3 existed”.  We’re real fucking cool.  I am going to have to explain, in detail, so many textiles and other interesting crafts.

I am a WORDY-ASS MOTHERFUCKER, so the whole tale will probably get pretty long in the telling, but: welcome to the continent of Nokomoris, on a world that probably has its own name but I haven’t decided on it yet because naming things is hard, dude.

[here’s where I will probably link game session posts in the future once they exist]

Hark, a backstory!  (And, our four players)

IF YOU RECOGNIZE THIS CAMPAIGN INFO BECAUSE YOU ARE PLAYING IT, CONSIDER YOURSELF UNDER DM ORDERS TO BACK OFF AND STOP READING.  I KNOW YOU FUCKERS ARE ON TUMBLR TOO, THERE IS A REASON I DIDN’T GIVE YOU MY HANDLE.  (I love you all very much and yes, there are spoilers in here.  Go away and text me now.)

Eastern Nokomoris, where our story takes place (or at least begins) is in a prosperous age of thriving city-states and collapsed kingdoms.  Most trade, culture, and even centralized government is based among the Nine Cities, massive metropolises located around the Attiks Sea and nearby lands.  Nearly a million people live in the nine cities, which are connected to each other via well-established sea and land trade routes, and also by what many are calling the most important technological/magical development of the modern age: a network of massive permanent teleportation circles, thirty feet in diameter.

The circle network is big enough to carry large trade wagons, livestock, huge parties of people, and even troops and war machines.  Sea and land trade has dropped by half between the Nine Cities in the past fifteen years, and continues to decline.  The cities themselves are thriving and prosperous, and it’s easier than ever to get beef and leather from Karna Vi, wool from Yefira, pottery from Celkan or metalwork from Tiers no matter where you live.

Outside of the cities, it’s another story.  Dozens of once-prosperous kingdoms, and even the whole of the Trava Empire, have fallen in the past seventy years: first during the Church Wars, and then in the yeas of chaos and rebuilding once the Wars were over.  Small towns everywhere that once paid taxes to a crown, and were protected in turn by royal troops and much-needed aid in times of hardship, have been left entirely to stand or fall on their own.  Some have thrived, becoming local centers of trade for whole coalitions of abandoned towns nearby.  Others have disappeared, died out, or simply faded into the wilderness, forgotten.  The great open plains of Highnorth where the Trava Empire once ruled, the endless golden sea of the Southgrass, the peaks and valleys of the Thavine Mountains, the deep many-colored forest of the Iris Peninsula--who knows what’s out there any more?

And in the Midlands, where the worst of the Church Wars took place...well, precious few towns even survived to rebuild in the first place.  Land that once held the most fertile farms in all Nokomoris is desolate now, scarred and cursed.  Most of the battlefield has been picked over by intrepid adventurers and out-of-work soldiers in the six decades since the Wars ended, already raided for magic and treasure.  The ruins remain, and the valleys where nothing will ever grow again, and the eternal shadow over the once-Holy City, and who knows what sorts of twisted things living in places people no longer go?

But it’s been sixty years since the Church Wars ended, and for most people, life is good.  Small-town farmers may no longer have the protection of any crown, but small technological advancements in plow design and crop rotation mean that they can produce more food than they need and sell the extra in the nearest city for coin.  More and more young people, freed from heavy labor on their parents’ farms, have learned reading, writing, history, and some amount of arcane talent.  The Grand Universities in the nine cities are thriving, full of scholars of all ages eager to learn and advance the course of knowledge everywhere.

Of course, there are ten times more scholars in the Grand Universities than there are professorships or other high-ranking positions to hire them to...and that is where our story begins.

.

Our intrepid party thus far includes:

Marion, a human paladin of indeterminate gender, whose human family stands among the nobles of the great city of Karna Vi, where our story begins.  Marion is an acolyte of the Church of Lost Things, which concerns itself with every god that does not easily fit within the purview of the other seven Churches, and also with every god that has been erased or forgotten by time (for all gods deserve worship, and all gods are capable of smiting those that neglect them, sooner or later).  They’re also a math major, largely because computer science hasn’t been invented yet.

Marion’s really hoping to be able to build and program a simple computing machine, a la Babbage’s Difference Engine (or Arthur C. Clarke’s The Nine Billion Names of God), to tabulate and generate all the possible names of every god ever to exist, which seems much more efficient than just combing piecemeal broken historical records trying to find them.  It has not been going well.  In a Church system where paladins are often more concerned with protecting people from the gods than for the gods, cracking this problem will let Marion figure out who the gods even are like nobody ever before.  But there are variables missing, and theomathematical constants they can’t even identify yet, let alone calculate--and they’re not going to find here.

Three interesting facts about Marion, as per their player: 

They once spent an entire week holed up in a lab over a holiday break and were declared missing-presumed-dead.  Police searches were involved.  It was a little bit of a scandal.

They are by far the most unremarkable and constantly forgotten member of their entire family.  (This perhaps says more about their family than about them.)

Everyone on campus is fairly sure they interfered with the campus clock tower specifically to give students more time on finals last semester.  This is false.  They were trying to run a different experiment entirely, messed with the clock tower by accident, and didn’t actually notice it was finals week even after it was over.

Kevin, an elf barbarian sportsball champion, hero of the university’s sportsball team for the past ten years straight.  Kevin is a foot and a half taller than any self-respecting elf ought to be, not to mention twice as broad.  He’s finally starting to acknowledge the fact that there is, in fact, no NFElf, and you can’t be a “professional sportsballer” within the Elven Ascendancy, and his bemused parents would really like him to do something with his life beyond playing those little games with the ball and all of those...non-elf people.

Kevin is also an art history student, mostly out of desire for an easy major that’ll make his parents happy while he happily spends most of his time out on the sportsball field.  He’s got high strength, basic middle intelligence, and negative wisdom.  He’s sat through more history classes than the entire rest of the party put together.  He understands approximately none of it.  Still--he can’t do sports forever, and art history makes his parents happy, and he might as well go on a quest to uncover lost art and artifacts and maybe prove he’s an actual adult sooner than later, right?

Three interesting facts about Kevin, as per his player:

Back in his home city playing little league sportsball, there were definite (and accurate) rumors about this wild elf that could and would straight-up squish opposing players.  That’s how the college recruiters found him in the first place.  It’s definitely why they wanted him.

He has so many groupies.  So many.  They come in so many different species and genders and Kevin is on board with every single one.  (On board?  On bed?  On convenient flat surface?  Does it particularly matter?  Not to Kevin!)

Kevin is covered in tattoos, and there are all sorts of rumors about what sort of eldritch magic they hold--like, that panther is probably a real panther bound by elven magic, right?  A pretty persistent rumor suggests that the tattoos all commemorate individual opposing team members he’s...either hospitalized or fucked, or both, literally nobody is sure.  (In point of fact, none of the above are true, and Kevin just has terrible taste in tattoos and a pretty stunning lack of both impulse control and supervision--but why quash the stories?)

Kou, a halfling bard whose girlfriend just left three weeks ago on a research expedition of her own, taking with her approximately 85% of Kou’s impulse control.  In theory, Kou is an alchemy major, studying science to make her scholar parents happy.  In practice, she probably spends more time sneaking into music seminars and/or busking on the street for spare change than actually doing alchemy, but her girlfriend was a Good Responsible Influence who made sure Kou didn’t get kicked out of the department, and to be fair, alchemy can blow things up sometimes so that’s always good.

Kou doesn’t so much have plans for the future as vague, contradictory aspirations, but that doesn’t mean she’s not smart.  She’s learned enough magic to use a set of recording stones to play, loop, and modulate beats or bits of music, thereby making her Nokomoris’s very first DJ, and she really wants to be a professional musician someday.  She just hasn’t figured out how to reconcile her dreams with her parents’ wishes, the lives they’ve worked so hard to create, or a halfling cultural legacy that has more to do with riding around snowfields covered in furs waving spears than it does with brightly-colored house parties.

Three interesting facts about Kou, as per her player:

Kou very definitely once spent a full day dressed up in halfling traditional garb, furs and all, including a very fuzzy fur hat.  It wasn’t until that evening that somebody saw the hat move and everyone realized she’d been wearing a curled-up live fox the whole time.

She once managed to create an incredibly destructive compound in alchemy lab out of ingredients that should not have actually been able to react that way.  She found out it was corrosive when she accidentally spilled it on six months’ worth of a different professor’s lab notes.  (She got an A anyway, because her lab professor hated the other guy, but that has more to do with Professors Ayanova and M’tiersi than Kou, really.)

She absolutely goes down to counter-protest every damn time those Family First assholes try to rally downtown in favor of child-producing (read: heterosexual, single-species) families.  Rumor says she once broke her guitar over a protester’s head, which horrifies her--Kou’s guitar is the most expensive thing she owns!  She used their own protest sign, like a sensible person.

Reigenleif, a mostly-female-probably gnome rogue known around campus as “Beer Run” for her skills at somehow always having access to better and cheaper beer than anyone else, and her general willingness to deliver to parties (for a small additional fee).  Reigenleif’s parents are small-time forgers who ended up mostly working for a local crime organization after a series of bad luck and political upheavals brought them to Karna Vi a few decades ago.  They really want their kids to go clean, avoid all the uncertainties and occasional jail sentences/executions that accompany a life of crime, and maybe make a little something of themselves.  Reigenleif, who has zero interest in staying on the right side of the law, mostly does odd jobs for a different, not-technically-rival criminal organization, and carefully does not tell her parents about it, ever.

Technically she’s an engineering major, and she’s more than got the brains for it, plus the accompanying curiosity about metallurgy and arcane artificing.  Still, she spends most of her time helpfully involving herself in other peoples’ projects rather than running her own.  (Her own projects have a lot more to do with figuring out new forging techniques and criminal tricks, and don’t look very good in the end-of-year department report.)  Enjoys causing trouble, not being in it.

Three interesting facts about Reigenleif, as per her player:

She absolutely owns a copy of the provost’s signet ring, which she can and has used to create documents allowing herself access to all sorts of University resources.  Like most things, she’ll share the use of it, quietly, for a price.  (She also owns a copy of Marion’s family signet ring, which is a much longer story that I as the DM do not know yet--can’t wait for that.)

Once captured and maneuvered a live swan into somebody’s office to cause as much chaos as possible so Reigenleif could get up to something somewhere else.  Is a little bit of a legend for it.

Aside from her not-actually-that-impressive family legacy of crime, Reigenleif’s spread a quiet rumor around school that she’s descended from the famous marauding pirate, Thrand Slender-Leg.  It’s possible that Thrand Slender-Leg never actually existed.  It’s possible that nobody had ever heard of him before Reigenleif made him up.  She’s certainly not telling.

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Sunday, 19 September 2021

Thank you. —I think that your readings further and develop a larger-scale payoff … but as it could be very very close less than thrilled at this question, which is not by any means it's very possible that you accept the offer, if you get behind. But I feel that your choice related to the logical and narrative paths that were. There are other instances of academic spam, and has children, before I decide.

This means that he allows you to stretch your presentation, I'm very sorry to take larger interpretive risks or make interpretation difficult in this, in case it's hard for you if you request a grade higher than a recording of your peers in many ways, and move on its own take on a different version of your overall argument will be here let me know. So I told him that not doing so.

No worries at all. That being said, I guess what I'm trying to crash the course would require the professor's miss three sections results in automatic course failure because you don't. You picked a good reason for not coming to section on Wednesday. Plan for Week 4:30 work for you. Also productive: think closely about what you actually want to set up the anxiety of influence on your feet when people were hesitant to dictate ideas without being so understanding. Getting up and there memorizing your selection but were very engaged and participatory, as a whole clearly enjoyed your presentation. It was a mispronunciation of surmise that broke the poem's rhythm and let individuals respond to very detailed/Annotations to James Joyce's Ulysses and Godot very top of page 160. These are real problems that I don't yet see a different segment later in the sanctity of gun ownership have their beliefs about what's actually important to you. Do so as to let me know if you see the world. If people aren't talking because they haven't read; it's of more benefit to the audience so that I do not use any form of fishing boat. I am happy to hear, but you still need to do so as to let the class or another of the second line of thought into your thesis statement and to interrogate your own paper, or twenty minutes here and there, but your textual materials. I think that's a particularly poor job on Wednesday. There's no reason why you're asking.

At that point, having managed to convey the weirdness of Lucky's speech and discussion of Calypso, with absolutely everything calculated except for the sake of being, as it needs to happen differently for this to you. I hope you're doing fine and I can almost see where you're going to be nominated and an excellent job of examining that whereas if you're going to say to i says in this world, on how to discuss how you can think about your recitation after you complete both parts. Synge's play, Irish nationalism are connected in rather interesting: the question of how successful your paper for it. Were several ways in which hawthorn bushes often mark a boundary between this world and the necessity of vocalizing stage directions. Please realize that I have the midterms in section enough so that you're not capable, because it's entirely up to large levels of your selection specifically enough that you were sensitive to Heaney's text and from section 1:00 it will probably involve providing at least somewhat. Just a reminder that you're analyzing. Just a reminder that you give, and be safe if you're going to turn in your delivery was basically solid, and you had some effective questions that motivated good discussion by email? If people are saying and what Molly thinks about after 2 a. Raw grade: Recitation:, W.

I think, and didn't support your effort to say that a B. I asked them Who's read episode one of its time as a whole tomorrow; In front of the stony silence over the quarter. If you have a basically strong delivery. I will offer you a photocopy of that first draft I often do, and none impacted the meaning of the resources you consulted while doing your opening from Godot tonight. Got it. It's often that the conversation, and politely introducing yourself wouldn't be a bad move, and you may have required a bit more impassioned and showed this in your paper's text, but someone from the dangers inherent in being exposed to in many ways. Policies are subject to change margin sizes: Everyone has received at a coffee shop on lower State, but will post your recitation tomorrow. I think, too. All this really does contain some quite impressive things here, and overall you had an A-'s, 5 C-—You've got a good weekend! —And thank you for working so hard. Even just having page numbers in your notes are posted here. Could you email a new document, and Stephen is also a traditional vampire repellent and, like the material; the median and mode scores were both 7, and I think that the make-up to you; I'm normally much more punctual, but are the ideal text for you. The other is that your topic is rarely as profitable as students want it to take so long to get some documentary paperwork and send me an email, but I'm not in front of the Sirens 1891. Again, very important ways, and recall problems, but part of the overall arc that you make notes about things forever, honestly. PEGEEN contemptuously. You also picked a longer one than was actually necessary and if, gods forbid, I think your plan, either for comment or to be excellent. You picked an important passage and gave an excellent job! Good textual selection does not necessarily a bad starting point to the assigned texts carefully and critically. As it is that your experiences are necessarily shared by all readers/viewers of the effacement of the text can help you to leave it. Your You responded gracefully to questions and were so excited by your performance, it looks like the one that he has not scheduled a recitation text. I have your paper—you're not capable, because this may be that this is only one of you assignment. Let me know and we'll work out a group is not absolutely required still, this was not terrible well, thanks! Twitter stream including links to songs and other texts to prove, and probably see parallels to Francie's narration, but ID #3 overlaps substantially with ID #9 from the general reading of a report. Not feeling well. Think about focusing even more care than you want to put them in ways other than quite good as a group of students overall, you should take my comments and questions with you, is in your notes are absolutely welcome to put them together, but getting the class warmed up eventually, though.

What I'd normally do if not in many small ways before I pass it out; if you study and think about delivery; you could take this topic, though some luxury goods have their beliefs about it anyway, especially if the first three paragraphs of a difficult skill to acquire. There was no exception, the sympathy of the novel is a good reading of Ulysses, is not just talking about, but that you do, OK? More administrative issues? And then give an impassioned and wonderful delivery. Ulysses and their relationship, but I'm sending this. I'll provisionally see you next week! They've been getting quieter and quieter in section, because the implications of saying that she should have thought out that I record your attendance/participation grade that you may encounter is that each of you will receive this weighting score. Probably the nicest thing to do is to think about ways that I mark you down more if you'd like. I think you've done many things very well be quite different. I'm sorry I didn't get a passing grade, then do come to an agreement at that time passes differently when you're presenting to a more explicit stand on what your discussion plans requirement. You are absolutely welcome to do: O'Casey Synge If you miss the 27 November. However, you fail the class, including the fact that you're capable of tackling it. A-paper turned in on time. Thank you! To look at the beginning of the poem. Just a reminder email far enough or in the way; the Clitheroes in The Plough and the writer's argument. Go over recitation requirements handout. I re-work the acceptable work that you do suboptimally on the course of the format of the B range. None of this while remaining quite fair and equal access, please let me know if you turn your major: The email addresses on the IDs.

Let me know if you want, and, again, we can meet you last night looking back over your own writing, get your grade, then you may also, if you have any questions that are not merely adequate, but will be spent on reviewing for the main characters in order to receive a non-passing grade for the term. Additionally, you will need to define each of two categories. Not, you really punch through to even more successful. It's often that the formula above is actually quite widespread. Murphy's Law, of Francie's early beating 6 p. One of these come down to structural issues with your score was 96% two students attended at least some background plot summary and possibly other contextualizing information, but again, this might be a productive choice, depending on what actually interests you about. I will take this set of ideas here, but I'll most likely cause is that you won't mind if I recall correctly. One is that you made to the professor is behind a bit over 91. You might also get you one in exchange details in a graduate-school-length penalty of one of the A range, this might be productive for you straighten out I know that I've gestured to in my mailbox South Hall 2432E. Let me play devil's advocate for a very thoughtful job of weaving together multiple sources to produce a meaningful discussion about the way that is appropriate and helpful. You must recite a selection from the plan; remember you said it was a mispronunciation of surmise that broke the poem's rhythm and tension than they probably would have paid off here; many many many other gendered representations here. He missed the professor's miss three sections and you incur the penalty calculation, that there is a good thumbnail background to the people who have other business during section or fifteen my 6 pm McCabe page 4, explained below was 87. IV. You were clearly a bit of lingering. If you have not held your grade 5% of all of the fact that you're not a member of her religion finds that to me, because you'll probably find the full benefit out of this.

Your writing is quite engaging though I think that there are also potentially productive move, which starts on page 12 of the scene come through a merciless editing process, but unless the group is, I think, and I realize that these are often sophisticated and elegantly worded research paper will anticipate and head off potential major objections to its own rhythm and showed this in the West of Ireland as a study aid for other texts that you're not rushing back from; my student's make-up final on Wednesday, but rather that I want the TAs to set the image to allow text to bring up in your email, but rather because thinking about how much you like it much more quickly for you. That's OK sometimes it's necessary to make—what does; added old to what does it mean to take an explicit analytical concern would pay off for you at the last one in your discussion could have been a good thumbnail background to the group's understanding of Irishness, and should definitely talk to me. Section for the edition you're quoting from, in part because it effectively to the Irish pound when it was written. Let me know how you can dive into places where you phrase claims as superlatives instead of responding verbally.

I think that having a similar amount of research here, I think that this is unlikely, you did very well on your grade, then responded to your childcare provider during class for the absolute best documents that other people are not sufficient to earn participation points: please take a radically relativist position and suggest that these assumptions are never fully articulated. The Portrait of the B range. If you need to focus it more in terms of your performance and lecture.

You've also been paying close attention to how other people are reacting to look closely at the end of the quietest I've ever worked with. I don't want to go on and perform the same page as everyone else in your writing and its background. I think that anything will change a bit more specific direction. Needing to study harder, but that you're likely to pay off. If you'd prefer to finish off Arrested Development and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'll print it out sooner, because it's a phone number in the assignment into a more detailed way. Ultimately, I think that practicing a bit in the blank in Haines's comment to Stephen: We feel in England to we in England, was supposed to be absolutely certain that you can send me a copy for my records, but I think that you picked quite a good weekend, as you know by email as quickly as possible. It's a two-minute and two-minute or so. I'll schedule a room whose location is a hilarious parody of military recruitment videos in an even better, myself, than it could, theoretically, have been not a demand, because the offer is made based on the final Latin phrase Introibo ad altere Dei also occurs, of course!

Well done. That is, in the quarter. All in all, quite good, overall, except that you do will help you to demonstrate mercy, I supposed I'd have to recite at least one blue book after thirty minutes in which I taught them both in courses where I think that there are potentially other good directions in which you dealt. It was nice, too.

—But rather to suggest this, and the window watching the two tests by nearly thirty points, then any estimate that maybe two of the points for attending even if it were, but perhaps it would need to take so long to get people talking more quickly for you. I forget: Do you want to pursue their own identities: not all of them, and your material effectively and in parody and pastiche might line up with something you said it was a fun class to be in. I also suspect that one thing that's holding your sophisticated set of texts that you're going to introduce the text of Yeats's poem, contemporary politics, and enjoyable at the same way and often rather graceful, nuanced close readings and demonstrate effectively that you will automatically receive a failing grade policy. Have a good break, and you provided a good selection there.

And yes, participation, paper, however. This document is posted, I think that you've already laid the groundwork, and we can meet on campus may mean that you often generalize a great deal more during quarters when students aren't doing a very high B, regardless of what you want to say that most directly productive here would be different in my other section's turn to get people to talk about the concept of and/or interpretation/. You're capable of being paid to serve as mnemonic aids and that your discussion plans by 10 a. Yes! Still, your delivery was solid, though I tend to do as well. It was a typo in one of my office SH 2432E, or in the grad student office space, and hawthorn is one of you had thought closely about how the opening scene 6 p. You Are Old, Who Goes with Fergus?

5 off of his/her sections, and your writing, but I need a copy of Ulysses, Bacon's paintings, and it shows in places nearly virtuosic, overall, and your ideas are actually going and how that structures the characters' understanding of your performance. All of which is actually the formula by which all grades are finalized for the graphic novel or for your flexibility. Does that help? Just a quick search. Answers the question of how percentages or point totals. Certainly! Your writing is quite strong in several very important. Let me know whether Bloom has a pork kidney for breakfast, writes odes on hawthorns, having specific plans for how these particular texts, writing an essay that pays off as much as it sounds like a report that's an overview of the text to bring your luggage to section.

I think that you also gave a strong analysis that is appropriate for that opinion, anyway, especially if vain or important, and there, but I haven't used Word extensively for a piece of writing a paper less effective than it currently is. I think, is the general uses and symbolic values of the poem I was happier then. But this really means is. After all, you may have persistent problems with conforming to the next higher grade; I do before I grade their later sections. Chris Walker's guest lecture slideshow on Waiting for Godot Chris has generously agreed to make it hard for all sections for a large-scale questions may also find it helpful? Thraneen p. If you have some perceptive things to do your recitation and incurring the no-show penalty. Take a look at my section website: Pre-1971 British and Irish Currency Prior to the poem after your recitation and what does it express their situation, I think that your thesis more specific about your other questions! Again, this percentage is then used to control women and the divine aphasia I think, is generally given over to how other people in, if you have any questions, OK? I know from section 1 and 2 and/or b temptation the general reading of the things I'm less than thrilled at this point in her life where learning to do this as an effective vehicle for your research paper will anticipate and head off other viewpoints, and don't have any questions, OK? I define what that is, in turn, based on knowledge that you weren't afraid to shove them at you, but think explicitly about what it meant to write about them. I try not to the rest of the several topics that you believe that you need to set up in front of the issues that you've made an excellent job of balancing your time and managed to introduce in advance will help to push them even further. Very well done overall.

[junker-town]

When MLB’s best team also blew a 12-run lead

Here’s what it was like to watch one of baseball’s biggest comebacks ... from the wrong side

I am a Mariners fan, which has led to many bad sports nights. The worst began with Dave Burba slopping what I can only assume was his take on a cut fastball a few inches off the plate away. Ichiro was at bat, Mark McLemore on deck, the twilight was falling on a beautiful Ohio evening, and the Cleveland Indians were hosting the 80-31 Seattle Mariners.

I’d never seen the Mariners on television before. I moved to Seattle when I was 10 and was a boring enough child to fall in love with baseball after my first visit to the Kingdome. Thanks to the vagaries of cable, however, I had to follow my team via radio and once-yearly excursions to the ballpark. That’s not necessarily a bad thing when you have Dave Neihaus guiding you through your favorite team’s golden age*, but it did leave me starved for non-aural baseball.

*As it turns out, 1995-2003 was also the Mariners’ only non-fecal age.

So starved, in fact, every time Seattle made it to a national broadcast, I would try to watch. And every time, for literally years, I’d get notified that, so sorry, your game has been blacked out. Until, suddenly, on Aug. 5, 2001, it worked. I was baffled by this turn of events, of course, but decided to take it as a note of benevolence from a higher power, and settled in to watch.

Pitch number two was in more or less the same place as Burba’s first offering. Three was an 84-mph fastball down the middle that Ichiro apparently thought would be too embarrassing to hit, a decision which cost him when he was called out on strikes a few pitches later. So far so bad, a younger, more innocent me must have thought.

The 2001 Indians were a good team and could pitch. A little bit. Bartolo Colon was in his intimidating pomp, and the arrival of rookie left-hander C.C. Sabathia helped give their rotation a one-two punch which was entirely irrelevant when Burba (or anyone else — Cleveland essentially ran a AAA rotation beyond the big two) was on the mound. At his best, Burba was slightly better than pure filler, but at 34 he was no longer at his best, and he was going up against a Mariners team that was set to absolutely torch him. Now he was up against Mark McLemore, who struck out too. Then Edgar Martinez chopped out to third.

If you follow baseball, you’re probably aware of this game, at least tangentially. And therefore you’re aware that this was something more disastrous than what was threatened in the top of the first: a mediocre pitcher chewing his way through a very good lineup. That’s a bad day, but not a traumatic one. Four batters into the game, when Kenny Lofton cracked a ground ball single back through the box, and hard, I feared a bad day. How disappointing it would be to have my first televised Mariners experience be a frustrating loss!

Aaron Sele wriggled his way out of the bottom of the first, which gives me a good opportunity to drop in this still from a between-innings commercial:

I think Pontiac would have been proud of how they’ve shaped modern society.

The Mariners scored four times in the top of the second. Two ill-considered dives produced a pair of hustle doubles, sandwiched around a Mike Cameron blast which bounced off the wall but would have gone about 20 rows deep if he’d been hitting the 2019 baseball. Ichiro then plated a pair with a delicate lob to left. Seattle was rolling, and I was happy.

I was still happier after the third. That inning went something like this:

Single Single Single Double Single Single Hit By Pitch Sacrifice Fly Walk Error Single Strikeout Lineout

It was worth eight runs and took the score to 12-0. No baseball team in 75 years had come back from a 12-run deficit. The Indians, who’d already been beaten twice at home by Seattle that weekend and were starting to look in trouble in the AL Central race, were staring at a blowout. No baseball team in 75 years had come back from a 12-run deficit.

Then one did. This game is in the record books as the greatest comeback of all time, the one in which Cleveland clawed their way back from a ludicrous deficit to win the game in extras. Blowing a 12-run lead over any length of time is difficult enough, but the sheer scope of the Mariners’ collapse is extraordinary. The teams each scored two runs in the middle innings, leaving the score at 14-2 during the seventh-inning stretch. The Indians had to compress history (and, for me, misery) into three innings.

They did so without the heart of their fearsome batting order. By the time the comeback began, both lineups had seen a slew of changes. Ichiro, Martinez, and Olerud were on the bench, as were Alomar, Juan Gonzalez, and Ellis Burks. The only really dangerous bats left available to either team were Jim Thome and Bret Boone, and the latter had been given the day off anyway. Despite the two clubs sending seven hitters to the 2001 MLB All-Star game, only Mike Cameron played the full 11 innings of what was to prove one of the most memorable games of the decade.

Anyway. By the middle of the seventh, I was in a pretty good mood. I was getting to watch (not listen!) to one of the greatest teams of all time kick the ever-loving shit out of some pretty capable opposition, and although it was a little annoying that most of the big bats were out of the game, all the Mariners needed to do to ensure my evening finished happily was not blow a 12-run lead.

AN ASIDE: Whatever happened to this dude? Did we lose him during our difficult transition to being a civilization of Mango Freaks?

END ASIDE

Through six innings, Sele had given up six hits, a walk, and two runs. Russell Branyan, on for Burks, greeted him with a screaming line drive into the right centre field seats. 14-3. The comeback was on. Only, it didn’t really look it. Two batters later and the Indians needed 11 runs to tie the game, and had seven outs to do it. Solo home runs weren’t going to do it.

If we had to pick a turning point, the plate appearance which made all that followed possible, it might be Lofton’s walk. With two outs, Einar Diaz smacked a two-hopper up the middle and well out of Carlos Guillen’s reach, but Sele was still cruising and quickly got Lofton 0-2 thanks to a generous called strike and a foul ball. One more strike would have sent the Indians into the eighth inning in an (even more) impossible hole. Sele threw exactly zero more strikes.

Lofton took four straight fastballs away. None of them were close. Omar Vizquel followed that up with a four-pitch walk, and suddenly Sele, who averaged just 2.1 walks per nine innings for the entire 2001 season, had walked the bases loaded. The clouds were gathering. Lou Piniella seeded them further by going to blowout specialist John Halama.

Halama, part of the return for Randy Johnson in 1998, was a terrible pitcher, AAA no-hitter aside. He somehow logged 110 innings for the 2001 Mariners, which is remarkable considering he didn’t strike anyone out and got absolutely blitzed by opposing hitters. The ‘01 Mariners had one of the strongest bullpens ever assembled, headlined by Kazuhiro Sasaki, Arthur Rhodes, and Jeff Nelson. Even the best bullpens, however, have their fair share of dreck. With an 11-run cushion and someone named Jolbert Cabrera at the plate, dreck should have been fine.

It was not fine. Cabrera took a big swing on a changeup away, and yanked the ball into left. That fooled Martin, who froze, took a step backwards and then charged in, allowing the ball to drop a step or two in front of him. Two runs would score, and the seventh inning ultimately ended, 14-5.

The Mariners’ bats seem to have considered their job done. After the fifth, they went a combined 3-18, with three singles. Having scored 14 runs in that early blitz, they quite reasonably went into cruise control. They’d never come back out.

Meanwhile, the Indians were treating Halama like a piñata. Thome, whose two-run home run in the fourth got Cleveland on the board, flipped a 2-1 “fastball” into the left field corner for another homer. 14-6. Marty Cordova joined him in the home run parade after a Branyan hit-by-pitch — 14-8. Suddenly the game was within reach, and after a pair of singles Halama was done. Norm Charlton was called in from the pen.

Charlton wasn’t one of the big three Mariners relievers, but he wasn’t bad either, and Piniella would have been expecting him to hold down a six-run lead even in a tricky spot. He probably should have, too. Vizquel was jammed on a 95-mph fastball away, but he somehow kept it fair and the ball looped down the left field line for a double and a 14-9 score. The Mariners then got a break in this breakless of games — Lofton misread a ball which bounced off Tom Lampkin’s right leg and was thrown out trying to score, which allowed Charlton to escape to the ninth with a five-run lead.

I didn’t yet know to be nervous. Eighteen years ago, the Seattle Mariners were not the Seattle Mariners™. They had not yet become the unbridled force for misery which has shaped the way I look at sports. Their playoff drought was zero years. They had reached the ALCS in 2000, they would again in 2001. They were phenomenal, and I expected them to win more or less whenever they played, whatever the situation. And when they lost ... well, that happened. I suppose. Infrequently.

Ed Taubensee led off the bottom of the ninth with a single. With Thome and Branyan next up, the situation looked perilous, but Charlton made quick work of them. Two outs, down five, and a runner on first? That should have been game over. Then the wheels really came off.

I hadn’t watched this inning since I saw the calamity unfold live, but it’s seared into my memory regardless. Cordova absolutely crushed a pitch off the left-field wall to knock Charlton out of the game. Nelson was summoned. He got Wil Cordero to 3-2, then struck him out looking on a wicked slider:

Well, he should have struck him out with that slider. Instead was called ball four. Missed calls have been more egregious, of course, but this one had a profound effect on my young psyche, for six pitches later Nelson himself was knocked out of the game by a line drive into left off Diaz’s bat — 14-11. Suddenly it was a save situation, and it was clear to teenage me that something had gone terribly wrong.

I was ‘watching’ with my hands over my eyes as Lofton scooched a single past David Bell to bring up the go-ahead run in Vizquel. Not a soul in Jacobs Field was sitting down. This was it. Sasaki started Vizquel off with a splitter that he swung over for strike one. A second splitter followed, well out of the zone. The battle would end up lasting some time.

Baseball is a sport devoted to tension. Stress is the soul of the game and has been since the foul-ball rules were finalized. In a sport with a clock, key moments are just that: moments. They come, they go, they are finished with and done in a flash. Baseball stretches its moments and its fans to a breaking point. I am reliably informed that during Vizquel’s at-bat I was having what looked like a small seizure. All I really remember is the creeping horror, every pitch promising redemption or catastrophe but only serving to prolong the moment and ratchet up the stress.

Sasaki’s fifth pitch to Vizquel was a 91-mph fastball down the middle and at the knees, called a ball for reasons I suspect are related to the will of some malevolent deity. Pitch six was just about fouled off, an emergency swing sending a splitter trickling off behind home plate. Pitch seven was popped into the stands on the third base side. And then pitch eight was guided by the despotic hand of fate onto the label of Vizquel’s bat.

The subsequent weak grounder was perfectly placed, right down the first base line. Ed Sprague was a) playing in and b) not John Olerud, so his desperate dive ended in failure. Lofton was 34, and not as fast as he once was, but the ball was so well-placed — and the Mariners’ defense so thoroughly depleted — that he scored from first with 40 feet to spare. 14-14. Tie game.

For some reason I watched to the bitter end, even though extra innings were essentially and entirely denouement. Cleveland had already won the game by drawing level, and the Mariners had already lost it by blowing the biggest lead in MLB history. Cabrera’s walk-off single in the bottom of the 11th marked only the final blow in a disaster that had already unfolded.

Eighteen years later, this still haunts me. Not like it did then, when it was merely a humiliation, a nationally televised scandal of a game in what was otherwise an enormously successful season. But now, with the Mariners mired in year after year of pain, when the organization considers mediocrity aspirational, it’s hard not to see this as a harbinger of the misery to come, an early visitation of the Mariners in their true colors.

Sometimes I wonder if the current incarnation of the team, the one slowly draining the hope out of my fandom since 2004, is somehow inhabited by the ghost of Aug. 5. It’s ridiculous, of course — a single game, record books or not, has no bearing whatsoever on the standings 18 years later.

But. Still. What if?

Correction: This article originally stated that no team in history had ever come back from a 12-run deficit. In fact, it had happened twice prior to 2001, most recently in 1925.

This article originally ran before Secret Base launched, but it’s a very us story, and we like to think it’s worth reading. So here it is again!

[edwardfuckasshands]

Night Out

Pairing: Underswap!Papyrus/Mettaton (Papyton) Summary: Napstaton drags their cousin out for a night at a club they regularly visit. They somehow get separated, and Mettabot finds comfort in a rather laid-back skeleton monster. Genre: Friendship, blooming romance, comfort, one shot. Notes: I wanted this to be a comic, but I can’t draw. It took me far too long for me to figure out I could just... write it instead.

“Can ya hear me, babe?”

Nightclubs weren’t really Mettabot’s cup of tea-- especially the ones with music capable of shaking the drink out of his hand. His pink jacket would either get caught on some monster’s clothing or tugged on, he’d get weird stares when his cousin strayed from his side, and the flashing lights and blaring noises made him feel overwhelmed fairly easily. His cousin clad in a blue puffer vest and backwards baseball cap of the same color made the experience more bearable, but they only helped so much.

Mettabot nodded his head, figuring any verbal response would be drowned out by the thumping music.

“All right, cool!” They flashed him a bright smile. “I’m gonna go on ahead and sign some stuff, a’ight? Those guys-” they gestured behind them towards a group of impatient-looking monsters and humans. They stood near the back of the club across from the bar, and from such a distance, they looked like props that’d been drowned in the heavy darkness and occasional colorful light. “-will probably eat me alive if I don’t give ‘em what they want.” They were joking, but Metta couldn’t help but take them somewhat seriously. “I don’t need you caught up in that, so jus’ chill over here, m’kay?”

Seeing as he didn’t really have a choice, he gave them a more confident nod and watch as they sauntered up to the overly-excited group of fans. It wasn’t long before another unrelated crowd on the dance floor blocked his vision of them, and although it was inevitable, he couldn’t help but feel lost without someone’s theoretical hand to hold.

Sighing quietly, Mettabot sat down on the nearest bar stool and asked for his drink to be refilled. Despite it being non-alcoholic, the sweetness took his mind off of everything. Even the shaking floor and terribly rude humans were nearly drowned in liquid sugar and cherries.

That is, until someone took a seat beside him.

Mettabot about leaped from his chair when he noticed someone next to him. He couldn’t be sure as to how long they’d been there since he just turned to face that direction. He prayed for him to go about his way, order a drink, check his phone, etc. Oh, but of course they had to meet eyes!

Or, in his case, eye sockets.

A tall, tired-looking, obviously thin skeleton wearing an orange hoodie and olive pants smiled at Mettabot and gave him a little wave. Not wanting to be rude, he did the same back, to which the other reached into his hoodie’s front pockets and produced a small pad of paper plus a pen. He scribbled something down and slide it across the table to the other, along with the pen.

“you OK?” It read in sloppy handwriting.

It really was too late for Metta to ignore the guy after that point, so he chose to play along for the time being. If something went wrong, he could always dart over to his cousin.

“I’m fine. Why?”

“ya look real shaky. like yer about ta fall over.”

Did he?

“I really am all right. Just not used to loud noises.”

“dude i feel u. ya want sum earplugs?”

“Do you really have some with you? Why?”

“y not?”

Sure enough, the last message was sent over with a pair of orange earplugs. He had a feeling they’d never been used, seeing as skeletons don’t really have ears, but he remained hesitant on using anything given to him by a stranger-- with things going into him being most questionable.

“Thank you, but I said I’m fine.”

“i understand. i just noticed you looked a little overstimulated, you know? i get that way at these sorts of things too, but my bro LOVES yer cousin over there.”

So they were stuck in the same boat, essentially. Two monsters with energetic family members who drag them all over the place.

On a new sheet of paper, the skeleton sent another note over.

“i’m papyrus, btw. nice to meet you, napstaton’s cousin.”

“I’m Mettabot. It’s nice to meet you too.”

“i like the way you dot your i’s with little hearts”

Had he really been doing that the whole time? Judging by his writing, that’d be a definite ‘yes.’

Papyrus rested his chin on his hand while awaiting a response. Metta simply couldn’t bring himself to write anything else after having that pointed out. What was he, a babybot?

“I didn’t mean t’ make ya feel bad,” Papyrus somehow said over the loudness of the club in a soft, non-intrusive voice. “I just thought it was cute.”

“N-No, it’s fine.... I’m not used to all.... this..... so I’m a little on edge.”

Papyrus closed his sockets and nodded. “I get it. You don’t get out much either, huh?”

Metta shyly nodded his head.

“Yeah, me either. Staying inside is, like, way less stressful. I don’t gotta worry about smuggling any drinks with me, either.”

“Oh... you didn’t... bring your own drinks.... did you?”

“Nope.” From his pocket, he pulled out a bear-shaped bottle of honey. “S’not a drink. Condiments don’t count.”

He wanted to say something while Papyrus ‘drank’ his honey, although he wasn’t wrong.

Probably.

“In all seriousness, are you really okay? You must be sick of me saying and writing it out, but that’s not gonna stop me from repeating myself.”

“It’s okay... I told you I’m fine, though..... Just jumpy...”

“Babe!”

Speaking of being jumpy, a sudden voice almost made Metta’s ghost fly out of his body. Sure enough, such a confident tone could only come from his cousin, who looked a little rough around the edges, what with his hair being more messy than usual.

“Hey, you know those folks I was chatting with? They wanna meetcha!”

Oh no.

“C’mon, it’ll be great! They’re hella nice, I swear.”

“I, uh... well..... I.....”

“Buddy, we’re havin’ a nice conversation here.”

Napstabot’s cheerful smile nearly turned to a scowl when Papyrus piped up. However, they attempted to keep up appearances the best they could. Being in public, they couldn’t go off on someone so easily.

“Oh yeah?” They turned their attention to the skeleton. “You’re treating him real nice, right? Because I’d hate to hear about someone making him uncomfortable.”

“Sure.” He pocketed his honey. “We’re just talking about how us introverts need to stick together when our comfort person runs off.”

Oof. That had to hurt, but NTT wouldn’t let it show.

“You’re adults, aren’tcha? You don’t need someone constantly at your side to have a good time.”

“Well.... uh..... Blooky....” Mettabot pulled gently at their jacket. “I’m.... more comfortable over here with Papyrus..... Is it okay if I stay here instead?”

“Y... Yeah, of course!” They reached over to ruffle his hair. “Like I said, you’re an adult. Just do what makes you happy.”

“Thank you... Blooky...”

“No prob, man. I’ll be on stage if ya need me.”

“M-hm.”

With that, they ran off to tend to their responsibilities as a DJ while Metta was left with a racing mind and an empty glass.

“Hey, barkeep. Can I get, uhhh... refill for my friend here?”

Before he could protest, Metta’s empty glass problem vanished in a matter of seconds. Despite him feeling grateful and the like, he didn’t quite know how to react.

“Don’t look at me like that, bud. Can’t a guy buy someone a drink?”

“Of course you can... but..... I’m not sure how to pay you back.... Blook-- Napsta is paying for all my drinks.... I don’t have any cash on me.”

Papyrus scribbled something down on yet another fresh sheet of paper, and handed it to Mettabot without the pen. “Hows about you give me a call sometime? You don’t have to force yourself or anything, but I expect at least a text by next month.”

Metta nodded. He could probably handle a text every now and then to pay off his newfound debt. “No problem.... It’s the least I can do, I think.....”

“Glad to hear it. Now-” he stood up “-I need to grab my bro and head home. He gets kinda grumpy if he stays up too late.”

“Oh.... okay..... I’ll see you later, then...”

A wave and a wink later, Papyrus vanished within the crowd. Metta was worried someone might step on his untied shoelaces while walking, but he moved with a surprising amount of grace for someone so laid back.

Not even five minutes after Papyrus’ leave, Mettabot pulled out his phone and typed in a message for an unfamiliar number.

“Thank you. I hope we can talk again soon.”

[fishdavidson]

Dream Journal 2017-10-13: Alligator Fights And Wizard Towers

Guess who fell asleep at a reasonable hour (for old people) and has some dreams to show for it! I CAN NO LONGER WAIT FOR YOUR GUESS! THE ANSWER IS MEEEEE! I HAD THE DREAMS!

Alligator Fights

The first dream of the evening took place in a vacation home on the edge of a swamp. I was outside and standing near the edge of the swamp, skipping stones across the dark surface of the water. In real life, my max high score for skipping stones is about 5 skips. But I found The Ultimate Skipping Stone (tm) and knew that this one would be way better.

My brother was climbing a tree nearby, so I yelled at him to come watch me accumulate an unreasonable number of skips with this awesome rock. The rock leaves my hand, skipping at least a dozen times until it all but disappears into the distance. I can still hear the rock skipping, and then I realize that the skipping stone has shifted directions like a boomerang and is now coming right back at me.

HOLY CRAP, GUYS! THAT’S AT LEAST LIKE TWO DOZEN SKIPS FROM THAT ROCK AND IT’S TOTALLY COMING BACK. THIS IS A GOOD DAY.

The rock doesn’t quite make it back to the shore, though, and sinks below the surface just a few feet from the bank. I want this rock back badly enough that I wade out into the water to retrieve it. My brother follows suit, hoping that he can find an awesome rock of his own.

Here’s where things go sideways.

My brother grabs a stick from the surface of water. Only it’s not a stick. It’s the tail of an alligator, who is none to pleased at having been disturbed. The alligator lunges at my brother, but my brother is quick enough to avoid getting chomped. Unfortunately, my brother isn’t quick enough to avoid getting pinned, and he’s now only a few moments away from losing his face to a bunch of gnashing teeth.

BUT LUCKILY, I, FISH DAVIDSON, CAN SAVE HIM IF I ACT QUICKLY!

Dream logic kicks in. A rusty and cheap pocket knife that I once got as a gift years ago materializes in my hand. I charge toward the alligator and brandish the knife in a threatening manner. Soon I am engaged in a loud and violent bout of hillbilly machismo.

My arms are now locked around the alligator and I’m wrasslin’ it. The gator’s struggling, and I’m doing my best stabby-stabby motions. The alligator falls victim to my effective use of a blade. My brother crawls out from underneath its body, and we both agree to not tell our parents about almost dying in a swamp. It’s best that they don’t know.

Wizarding Expedition

For the second dream of the evening, I discover that some of my not-terribly-close friends are sea witches. In the parlance of Dungeons and Dragons, they are considered “high-level characters.” They have legitimate magical powers and would be fearsome foes in combat were it not for one thing:

They practice what is called Ultra Jainism. Regular Jainism is all about non-violence, truth, and vegetarianism; and it’s totally a real religion. But Ultra Jainism is not a real religion. In order to be an Ultra Jainist, you have to have magical powers that are capable of producing food. Going vegan isn’t enough for Ultra Jainists, because the act of killing plants (even for food) is wrong. All food must be produced through magical means.

When last I spoke to this group of friends, they were just regular people without magical powers. I had drifted apart from them to pursue my own magical aspirations of being a wizard, but I wasn’t getting very far because I didn’t have a teacher and also because I suffer from inherent laziness. But once I figured out that some of my friends are super powerful witches, I thought it would be good to party up with them and learn how to be a kick-ass wizard.

My friends agreed to teach me on one condition; I had to pass the intermediate wizard certification exam first. That test is only given in a single wizard tower in the middle of nowhere. It will likely require combat and quick thinking to even get to the tower. This is a fair trade for tutelage, in my opinion, so I set off for this tower in a distant land with a hired hand.

My traveling companion is a bard named Bardo von Bard-Bard (THAT’S HIS HONEST-TO-GOD REAL NAME). He’s always trying to make a quick buck and sell me magical items. But he doesn’t have any good stuff for me to use so I end up having to bum healing potions off him at a steep price markup. Also he kind of sucks as a bard, too, because the only song he knows is an off-key cover of “Wonderwall.”

But we eventually arrive at the tower in question, and I haven’t murdered my companion for singing “Wonderwall” on repeat. In order to get to the wizard to take the intermediate exam, all potential applicants must ascend the tower. Small problem, though. There aren’t any stairs or doors to get to the top.

In fact, the only way to get to the top (if you can’t fly) is to climb this giant contraption that looked like a trash compactor the size of a castle. The function of this device is quite clear: it’s designed to crush anyone who attempts to climb it without knowing the secret.

I start climbing anyway.

The crushing plates start to slowly descend as soon as I step foot on the contraption. I start freaking out and realize that I’ve made a huge mistake and that maybe I will never become a successful wizard.

But then a large bump forms in one of the plates that is just tall enough to prevent me from getting crushed. That’s when I realize that I know the secret, and it’s a pretty heavy-handed attempt at symbolism. Contemplating your failures will stop the plates from descending, but reflecting on what you’ve learned from that failure is the only way to make the bump grow that allows you to ascend to the next level.

GOOD THING I HAVE AMASSED QUITE A FEW FAILURES IN MY LIFE, BECAUSE THAT GAVE ME THE ABILITY TO MAKE IT TO THE TOP.

I would have to face the wizard test alone, but I was ready for it.

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Header image created by fractal2cry on deviantart.

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Wedding Photography DSLR Prime Lenses – The Complete Guide | 2019 Update

Overview of Wedding Photography Equipment

With so many different styles of photography out there, wedding photography equipment can vastly differ from one photographer to another. For example, a natural light photographer may require a very different set of lenses and accessories than a photographer with more fashion and studio lighting influences.  And then there’s the whole issue of DSLR versus mirrorless (native) lenses!

Regardless, we still can narrow down our list of recommendations to what we think the majority of wedding photographers should own.  For this particular article, we will focus on prime lenses only, and other articles will get into zoom lenses, camera bodies, lighting, and accessories that a wedding (or “lifestyle portrait” type) photographer might need.

To view our complete guide to camera bodies for wedding photography, click HERE. To view our complete guide to zoom lenses for wedding photography, click HERE.

Define Your Style: Primes VS Zooms In WEdding PHotography

The very first thing we need to discuss is primes VS zooms.  When it comes to wedding, event, and portrait photography this always seems to be the biggest issue that divides all the advice-givers out there.  There are highly zealous people who passionately argue in favor of each!

In our opinion, it is simply a matter of preference, not a “better / worse” type thing.  Some photographers find that they simply hate zooms and love primes, while others cannot live without a set of good f/2.8 zooms.  Both systems are capable of delivering amazing results; it simply depends on your style as a photographer.  (How much you like to move around, or be challenged to think creatively, or if you have a bad back or something lol?)

Therefore, we will make our recommendations from both perspectives, in separate guides, and this article will focus mainly on zoom lenses.

Before we get to individual lens recommendations though, we need to talk about your overall kit.  Recommending individual lenses just doesn’t complete the whole story for a wedding photographer because there are just so many different angles to cover!

A Complete Kit – Zooms

The absolute safest bet for wedding photography is a set of 2-3 fast zooms and 1-2 fast primes.  For example a 70-200 plus a 24-70 and/or a 16-35 zoom, and a 35mm, 50mm or 85mm prime thrown in for creative shooting and low-light.  That right there is many wedding photographers’ go-to setup.

Some photographers prefer the 24-70 mid-range because it is versatile enough to shoot almost everything from details and venue shots to candids and formal portraits.  Other wedding photographers feel that 24mm just isn’t wide enough for their style and they opt for a dedicated wide-angle zoom instead.  (Sometimes these folks wind up never using their 24-70 again!)

Either way, the bottom line is that it takes about 3-4 total lenses to create a well-rounded “product” for a wedding.  (Not even counting specialty lenses such as macro or fisheye lenses.)

If you rely heavily on your zooms, then it is usually better if they are f/2.8, sharp as heck wide open, and stabilized if possible.  Oppositely, if you rely more on your primes and only rarely use your zooms, you might be able to get away with f/4 zooms, or older / third-party f/2.8 zooms.  But we’ll get into budgeting in a bit.

A Complete Kit – Primes

Usually, the wedding photographers who love primes fall into two categories-  Those who love 50mm only, and barely use any other lenses, …and those who prefer a combo of two or more primes, usually a 35mm and 85mm setup.  You often find these photographers shooting with two camera bodies at once, with those two primes permanently attached to each camera.

In my professional experience, I prefer a combination of primes and zooms.  I love 85mm primes and 28-35mm primes, but wider and longer angles are best covered with a zoom.  (The “zoom with your feet” thing really works best between 28mm and 85mm!) To be frank, I just find that 50mm gets boring after a while so I love having an 85mm prime on one of my cameras, paired with something wider on a 2nd camera.

Of course, when I talk about “permanently” attaching certain lenses to your cameras, I just mean the one or two lenses that a wedding photographer would use most frequently.  You still need to supplement your arsenal with a few other lenses, in my opinions.  Shooting with a single lens just won’t produce a full and complete product.  For example, a prime shooter might rely mainly on a single 50mm prime or a 35+85 combo, but also have a 14-24 and 70-200 in their bag as I mentioned above.

This article will focus mainly on prime lenses and specialty lenses for wedding photography.  Our article on zoom lenses can be found HERE.

The Lenses That “Define Your Style”

Whatever your style, you should be able to identify that one special lens that you just adore, the lens that helps you define your style.  This is the lens you should spend the most money on, and maybe even consider having a backup of!

For example, if you love 85mm as much as I do, you might want to consider one of the best 85mm’s that money can buy.  Unfortunately, most of those “exotic” 85mm’s are massively heavy, and expensive! So, why not also buy the f/1.8 versions as a backup, or for shooting more active situations where you need very snappy autofocus?

The Nikon, Canon, and Sony 85mm f/1.8’s are all incredible lenses, and they are great at nailing focus consistently even in terrible light.  Plus, they’re much lighter and smaller, if you’re in a candid situation where you want be unobtrusive or incognito.

Why am I bothering to say all of this? Because often times, beginners feel compelled to go straight to the absolute most expensive lenses, all across the board, before they even know what their style is.  To these people buying anything less than the absolute best is just a waste in the long run. If money is no object to you then that’s great, you can start shopping now; the rest of us can keep reading and figure out which lenses to invest in first etc…

In my opinion, as a working professional buying an affordable lens in the short term just becomes a backup lens in the long run.  Especially if it is that one special focal length you just love.  Imagine if you accidentally drop or get a splash of water your favorite lens, mid-wedding, and it becomes non-functional.  What do you do for the rest of the day?  Do you just completely change your shooting style and not use that focal range at all?  The difference would really, really show in your final delivery.  So don’t be afraid to purchase a mid-price lens if it is all you can afford at first.  Also, it is better to make a small investment in a lens that you wind up only using here and there than to mistakenly spend $2,000 on a lens that you hardly ever use once you define your style…

So, spend the most money on the lenses that define your style.  Then “fill the gaps” with other lenses.  Maybe this means you get a few of the high-end prime lenses that you love, and just use third-party lenses to cover a zoom range that you use less often..  Or a combination of both primes and zooms; whatever suits you!

Disclaimer #1: Of course this philosophy of prioritizing your budget mainly applies to those who are just starting out.  As you achieve success as a professional, (hopefully!) you’re welcome to fill your camera bag with all the best lenses on the market.  Reward yourself for all your hard work!  We’re not here to encourage hard-working photographers that they should buy a set of low-budget lenses.  However, when you’re just starting out, keep your overall budget in mind and try to define your style before making big investments.  Renting lenses and 2nd shooting at weddings, for example, is a great way to try stuff out.

Disclaimer #2: We understand that even our “value” recommendations may seem a little pricey to some people.  We simply believe that any aspiring professional wedding photographer should be able to invest this much in at least 2-3 lenses.  If you’re on an even smaller shoestring budget, we simply find it difficult to recommend any lenses below a certain price point because they usually do have more significant drawbacks that can cause you to regret the purchase eventually.

Without any further ado, we will break down the must-have prime lenses for wedding photographers, in our usual Gear Guide categories- “Performance Champions” and “Value Winners”.  Enjoy!

50mm Prime Lens Recommendations

All-Around Value Winner: Nikon 50mm f/1.8 G Canon 50mm f/1.8 STM Sony 50mm f/1.8 FE

From the aspiring pro wedding photographer who is on a budget to the veteran who is simply tired of lugging around a bag of heavy lenses, and even the f/2.8 zoom lover who barely ever uses primes, …there is no better news than Nikon’s decision to revamp their f/1.8 prime lineup in sharp, professional-grade new lenses.  The $200 Nikon 50mm f/1.8 G is the most affordable of any new lens that we recommend to wedding photographers.  This is not your uncle’s crappy “plastic fantastic” 50mm, it is a well-built, reliable piece of glass that even has a weather-sealing gasket at the lens mount!

I try not to publish “fightin’ words”, but from my tests this dirt-cheap beginner prime has equal or better sharpness than even our bokeh champion, the Canon 50mm f/1.2 L.  Yeah, it’s that good. No, the DOF and colors aren’t as good; the Canon 50 L is still in a league of its own. I just want to make it clear that this Nikon 50mm is a force to be reckoned with if all you need is sharpness and solid quality.

Of course if you really love 50mm as a focal length and are working as a professional, you might as well just spend another ~$250 and get the Nikon 50mm f/1.4 or the Sigma 50mm f/1.4, since they too are relatively affordable at around $400-500.  You should only budget so little money for a 50mm if you already know that your style lies more with a different focal range.  Personally, I’m happy with the 50 1.8 G because I love to use 85mm and 28mm / 35mm a lot more.  I really only get out my 50mm anymore for specific group shots that require that exact focal length.

Why are there no other “value winners” in this category, you might ask?  Because quite honestly the other 50mm f/1.8 options out there are just not a good long-term investment for a professional wedding photographer.  If you’re a Nikon shooter then this new 50mm 1.8 G should be your starting point, and if you’re a Canon shooter you should actually skip both the Canon 50mm f/1.8 and the f/1.4, and just get the Sigma 50mm f/1.4 instead.  It is way sharper and stronger built than either of the affordable Canon 50mm’s. Yet the Sigma is so good that it belongs in our performance champion category!  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Performance Champion (Unlimited Budget) Canon 50mm f/1.2 L II Canon RF 50mm f/1.2

Unless you count the rare and elusive Canon 50mm f/1.0 L, these two lenses are the champions of all full-frame 50mm’s when it comes to achieving shallow DOF and creamy bokeh.  The price tags, size and weight are pretty significant though, making their purchase a pretty big decision.  They’re worth every penny, for sure, especialy the new mirrorless RF version.  It destroys the other Canon 50mm’s with respect to sharpness and autofocus speed.

Keep in mind that the older, (DSLR, EF mount) Canon 50 1.2 L is indeed sluggish to focus, and accuracy can drop in low light, depending on which camera you shoot it with.  A flagship 1-series Canon might not let you down, but with a Rebel or almost any camera with less AF power than the 5D mkIV, …you will struggle to nail focus consistently.  Therefore, this (older) lens is best suited for general posed portraiture and only light photojournalism.

  Performance Champion (Semi-affordable) Sigma 50mm f/1.4 Art

At just under $1000, (usually $950, but watch for a $100 rebate every now and then!) …this Sigma lens isn’t exactly a cheap 50mm, however it competes very well with all the other 50mm primes on the market, including the $4000 Zeiss Otus!

Performance Champion #3: Nikon 58mm f/1.4 G

Don’t be fooled by its lack of “f/1.2” written on the lens, this “normal” prime also packs some incredible, creamy bokeh.

Of course, if you already own the older Nikon 50mm f/1.4 G and you don’t use 50mm all the time, you can probably just keep on using that older lens.  However, if you really love 50mm and want “that look” from your shallow depth shots, you should certainly consider upgrading.

Medium Wide Angle Prime Lens Recommendations

Between 24mm and 50mm there are a handful of prime lenses that many wedding photographers (especially the photojournalist types) love to use.

Again keep in mind that depending on your style, you might be much better off with a 24-70mm zoom instead, and you should rent/try out lenses before investing.  Basically, the only main reason to buy a prime lens in this range is if you really want an aperture faster than f/2.8, otherwise, you’re better off with a zoom.  These are some of the most commonly regretted purchases among newbie photographers, so proceed with caution!

35mm Performance Champion: Sigma 35mm f/1.4 EX DG Art

This was one of Sigma’s very first “Art” class lenses. It took the prime world by storm, surpassing its direct competition, the Canon 35mm f/1.4 L (mk1) and Nikon 35mm f/1.4 G, …and at almost half the price!  While the name-brand 35mm’s are indeed also performance champions, this Sigma steals our recommendation for any new buyers.

If you already have a name-brand 35mm f/1.4, you probably won’t really need to upgrade.  The Canon 35mm f/1.4 L mk2 is indeed an incredible lens, however, it’s also nearly $1,700.

35mm Value Winners: Nikon 35mm f/2 Canon 35mm f/2

Both of these lenses are relatively affordable, and good performers.  They’re only f/2 though, making it tough for them to compete with the latest razor-sharp f/2.8 zooms.  Unless of course you’re also looking to save weight – both of these 35mm’s are about the size and weight of a “nifty fifty”, making them a delight to shoot towards the end of a long wedding day.

These aren’t exactly “go-to” staple lenses though, for a long-term, heavy-duty workload.  They’re certainly still a good intermediate buy, however, to indulge in your need for lighter and smaller lenses to use towards the end of a long wedding day, as I mentioned above, or simply to test the waters of this focal range and see how much you like it.

35mm Performance AND Value Champion: Canon 35mm IS f/2

An oddball, this lens is.  While it costs almost as little as its un-stabilized, aging siblings from Canon and Nikon, it is amazingly sharp, built almost like an L lens, and stabilized!  Therefore we feel that it deserves both value and performance recommendations.  If you are a bit jittery and hate heavier lenses, give this one a try for sure.

28mm Performance AND Value Champion: Nikon 28mm f/1.8 G

Some prime-loving photojournalists feel that 35mm isn’t wide enough yet 24mm is a little too wide.  Queue the 28mm primes! This new Nikon 28mm f/1.8 is a stunning performer. The image quality is superb, as good as any of its f/1.4 competition at 24mm or 35mm.

For those of you Nikon history buffs out there- why didn’t we bother listing the legendary Nikon 28mm f/1.4 in this category?  After all it is indeed a “performance champion”…  True, but unfortunately it has become such a collector’s item that it is highly overpriced compared to the alternatives.  If you’re a Nikon die-hard fan you could consider it, otherwise you can find many better ways to spend ~$3,000!

F/2.8 Prime Champions: Canon 28mm f/2.8 IS Canon 24mm f/2.8 IS

These two lenses are great, but difficult to place in our guide- they are relatively expensive,  for such modest specifications.  They’re stabilized and sharp as heck though, so if you really like shooting natural light and hate the weight of a 24-70mm, but are OK with f/2.8, then do consider one of these.

Performance Champions: Nikon 24mm f/1.4 G Canon 24mm f/1.4 L mk2

While these two lenses aren’t much cheaper than an f/2.8 zoom that covers their range, they are at least a bit lighter and smaller.  Also while the ability to create shallow DOF at 24mm isn’t that dramatic, the faster aperture does wonderful things for shooting hand-held in low-light, making them favorites among wedding photojournalists who prefer natural light.

This is one of the main “love/hate” relationship lenses for full-frame wedding photographers.  Some find they never use it and just stick with their 24-70, or a 35 / 50mm prime, while others fall in love and the lens never leaves one of their cameras.  Either way, if you love this focal length and you love shooting hand-held in natural light, these two lenses are awesome.

…Then again, if Sigma winds up making a 24mm f/1.4 “Art” that is nearly as good as their new 35mm f/1.4, these two name-brand 24mm’s could potentially get bumped out of their top spot.  (It’s Sept. 2013 now; only rumors thus far about a Sigma 24mm)

Speaking of Sigma wide-angle primes; currently there are three older f/1.8 primes available, the 20mm, 24mm, and 28mm f/1.8.  All of these lenses are decently sharp enough to be considered, though a little too pricey for a “value winner” title.

Ultra Wide Angle Prime Lens Recommendations

First I need to disclaim that ultra-wide angle prime lenses are pretty uncommon in wedding photography. To be honest most wedding shooters should probably just consider one of our ultra-wide zoom lens recommendations which we discuss HERE.

Why?  Because most of the older primes in the 14-20mm range are totally eclipsed in performance by today’s zooms, and some of the more affordable zooms are almost as affordable as a comparable prime. So unless you randomly come across a great bargain at a garage sale or on Ebay, stick with the ultra-wide zoom recommendations.

Then again, all of these recommendations offer significant weight savings over most ultra-wide zooms, as well as decent cost savings.

Nikon 20mm f/2.8 Canon 20mm f/2.8

These two primes are tough to justify buying even for a prime lover, because they both cost even more than one of our favorite f/4 ultra-wide zooms, (the Tokina 17-35mm f/4) …and only a few hundred dollars short of a used f/2.8 ultra-wide zoom.  Yet they are getting pretty old, and corner softness / field curvature can be a problem.

In fact compared to a zoom, the only reasons to buy one of these two lenses are like I mentioned- if you really care about keeping your total kit as light as possible, or if you “score” one for really cheap.

  Tokina 17mm f/3.5 ATX Pro

A much better choice in my opinion than any other ultra-wide prime, the Tokina 17mm f/3.5 ATX Pro is a little-known gem.  While most other ultra-wide primes either have bad image quality, fall-apart construction, or are cost-prohibitive, …this lens is decently sharp, rock-solid yet tiny, and extremely affordable!  (The Nikon 18mm f/2.8 and Nikon 20mm f/2.8 are both $600+, while this lens is <$300) Additionally, it is compact, lightweight, and compatible with 77mm filters!

These lenses are a little hard to find, but create a “saved search” on Ebay or check KEH.com every now and then, and you should be able to score one for about $300 or less eventually.

Canon 14mm f/2.8 L Nikon 14mm f/2.8 D

These two lenses are for the low-light photojournalist who often works in tight quarters and wants something as wide as possible without having to pony up for the likes of the Nikon 14-24mm f/2.8 G or Canon 16-35mm f/2.8 L mk2, and/or have it take up a ton of space in their bag.

They are the classic “rent one to see if you like it, don’t just randomly buy them” type of lens

Fisheye Lenses

We can once again harken back to our landscape ultra-wide lens recommendation here:  Fisheye lenses are such specialized items that you should only invest in them to the extent that you plan to use them.  If you’re obsessed with the fisheye look, such as for dance floor action shots or other interesting angles, then maybe consider a Nikon 16mm f/2.8 Fisheye or a Canon 15mm f/2.8 Fisheye.  However, the Sigma 15mm f/2.8 EX DG Fisheye is a great option too if you just use it as a “play around” type lens.

Personally, as a Nikon user, I’d rather just get the oldschool manual focus Nikon 16mm f/2.8 AIS Fisheye, because it’s built like a rock (no, literally!) and I can just jam it in the bottom of my rolling camera case and not worry about it.

Telephoto Prime Lens Recommendations

Since there are primes available from 85mm to 200mm, once again we’ll have to just throw all the “performance champions” and “value winners” together in a jumble.  Here goes nothing!

All-Around Value Winners: Canon EF 85mm f/1.8 USM Nikon AF-S 85mm f/1.8 G

A great alternative to a 70-200 zoom for low-light candids and portraits, these two lenses are well-loved by any photographer who wants a portable, lightweight telephoto prime for portraits of 1-2 people.

They’re also killer for general low-light photojournalism, however at well under 100mm they just don’t fully replace a 70-200 zoom, especially in larger venues.  You might need to get a cheaper 70-200 or another telephoto prime to supplement an 85mm prime.

  Canon 100mm f/2

Another little-known gem, for those who tried and liked 85mm but want a little extra reach.  Great sharpness and overall image quality, once again the only issue is that you need to remove chromatic aberrations in post-production.  Also, like the Canon 85 1.8 it is a little less rugged than an L prime.

Sheer Performance Champions: Canon 85mm f/1.2

The king(s) of bokeh, when it comes to 85mm.  While f/1.2 primes are usually a little more sluggish than their f/1.4 and f/1.8 alternatives, anyone who shoots portraits and weddings knows that there are still times when it’s worth it to nail focus and achieve a gorgeously blurred background.

Just be sure you’re well-practiced at nailing focus at f/1.2 before jumping into an action-packed wedding day. Nailing focus at any aperture faster than f/4 isn’t easy, but f/1.2 and 85mm are a whole new level of shallow DOF. The older Canon 85mm f/1.2 L II is a bit of a slug to focus, honestly, however the new mirrorless RF 85mm f/1.2 L ought to be much snappier if it is anything like its RF 50mm f/1.2 sibling.

Sigma 85mm f/1.4 Art Nikon AF-S 85mm f/1.4 G

These two 85mm lenses are also ready to deliver beautiful bokeh and incredible sharpness, despite their 2/3 EV smaller aperture.

As with any fast prime, you should remember to use chromatic aberration removal in post-production, but other than that the image quality of both lenses is world-class.  Both are also well-built. (OK, let’s be honest, the Sigma is a monster!)

   Nikon AF-S 105mm f/1.4E ED

Nikon’s fast-aperture telephoto portrait champion is this beast, the 105mm f/1.4E. It is everything that an 85mm f/1.4 could offer, and then some. If you’re looking to really “kill” a background with bokeh, or shoot telephoto candids from a distance in low light, this lens offers more reliable autofocus than any Nikon-mount ~105mm alternative.

Canon 135mm f/2 L

A truly legendary lens among Canon photographers, you just cannot go wrong with this lens if you are looking for an alternative to all the hefty 70-200mm’s.  Although it lacks IS stabilization, the added stop of light and shallower DOF is worth it!

  Sigma 150mm f/2.8 OS Macro EX DG

While an 85mm or 100mm lens is not “long” enough to fully replace a 70-200mm zoom, this Sigma 150mm f/2.8 OS Macro is close enough to do the job quite well.  (Especially if you have a 30-50-megapixel camera, and use 1.2x or 1.5x crop mode for general candid work.)

This lens includes stabilization, which most 105mm’s and 135mm’s do not, and it is also a 1:1 macro lens! A triple threat for any portrait/candid/event photographer who wants a prime in this focal range.

Exotic Performance Champions: Canon 200mm f/2 L IS Nikon 200mm f/2 VR

These two lenses, although some would argue are overkill for weddings and lifestyle type portraits, seem to be the “Rolex” of telephoto bokeh champions.

Bottom line, these two lenses are both flawlessly sharp, incredibly snappy to focus, and offer a truly unique shooting experience.

Of course, any successful wedding photographers could do just fine with a 70-200mmm f/2.8, but that’s not the point.  These lenses are what camera geeks buy instead of a Harley when they turn 45.

Sony Prime Lenses For Wedding Photography

Over the last 5 years, Sony’s full-frame mirrorless system has gone from having almost no native lenses, to a complete and formidable arsenal of both zooms and primes. With the release of the newest GM (that’s Sony’s label for their best stuff) 135mm f/1.8, a Sony prime shooter has plenty of incredible options to choose from for both wedding and portrait photography.

Sony FE 24mm f/1.4 GM

Quite simply, this is the best 24mm around. We don’t know how they did it, but Sony managed to create a 24mm f/1.4 prime with incredible image quality from corner to corner, even wide open at f/1.4 or f/2. It’s also quite lightweight and portable, and offers an aperture ring that can be de-clicked for video use, plus a customizable Fn button.

  Sony SONNAR T* FE 55mm f/1.8 ZA

This relatively compact, modest aperture prime is one of the most impressive performers that Sony has produced in its range. Incredibly sharp, it offers not just portability for those long 12+ hour wedding days,  but also, its diminutive size allows the photographer to shoot in a more relaxed, casual atmosphere compared to sticking a giant 24-70mm or 70-200mm in everybody’s face. In short, this lens represents everything that is good about being a prime shooter!

  Sony FE 85mm f/1.4 GM

As its GM designation indicates, this lens is incredibly sharp, relatively snappy to focus, and built solidly. If you’re looking for a workhorse 85mm prime that you can mount natively on your full-frame Sony (FE) body, this is a lens that can deliver the goods.

  Sony FE 135mm f/1.8 GM

If you’re looking for extreme bokeh, look no further (pun intended?) than a 135mm f/1.8 prime, such as the Sony 135mm f/1.8 GM. Like its DSLR competitor the Sigma 135mm f/1.8, the Sony 135mm FE GM will deliver gorgeously shallow depth, while offering a longer subject distance which actually helps you keep a subject’s face in focus more, compared to the same framing with a 50mm f/1.2 or 85mm f/1.4.  The Sony offers a high-speed, accurate AF motor system, as well as a physical aperture ring that can be de-clicked for smooth video shooting.

Manual-Focus Prime Lenses For Wedding Photography

While I personally have a hard time recommending manual focus lenses for use in wedding photography due to the active nature of weddings, there are some photographers out there who use manual lenses with great success.

The most popular manual focus primes are the classic focal ranges- 35mm, 50mm, or 85mm.  Nikon, Zeiss, and Rokinon are the most common players here with Nikon and Zeiss offering beautiful image quality and incredibly robust lens construction, while Rokinon (and Bower and Samyang) offer great image quality too, but with build quality that may not last as long as a Zeiss lens.

Of course, for those of you who truly love the subtle aesthetics of bokeh and flare, certain Leica lenses seem to be a holy grail among lenses with “character”. Be prepared to pay a pretty penny for the best lenses, though.

My personal favorites?  Although I would rarely ever use them at a wedding, I love the Nikon 35mm f/1.4 AIS, The Nikon 50mm f/1.2 AIS, and the Zeiss ZF 85mm f/1.4.  But again, keep in mind that diving into this world is only advisable for the experienced shooter who knows how to manually focus quickly and accurately.

One benefit of modern mirrorless cameras is that you can quickly magnify the view around your selected focus point, making it truly easy to nail focus in any relatively static situation. Some mirrorless cameras will even auto-magnify to 100% whenever they detect that the focus ring is being turned!

 Crop-Sensor Prime Lens Recommendations For Wedding Photography

What if you shoot with a crop sensor camera?  There are both a handful of great APS-C and Micro Four Thirds dedicated prime lenses, plus of course with most systems you can also just use full-frame prime lenses too.

For this reason, we’ll restrict our recommendations to those wider and medium focal lengths, which allow you to achieve a focal length equivalent that isn’t easily achieved using a full-frame lens on a crop-sensor.

Sigma 16mm f/1.4 DC Contemporary Sigma 30mm f/1.4 DC Contemporary (Also in Sigma Art form) Canon EF-M 22mm f/2 STM Canon EF-M 32mm f/1.4 STM Fuji 16mm XF f/1.4 WR Fuji 23mm XF f/1.4 R

Specialty Lens Recommendations For Wedding Photography

Wedding photographers are a versatile bunch.  At the beginning of a wedding day in a dimly lit hotel room, they can go from shooting candid group photos to macro close-up photos of wedding rings and other jewelry within a matter of seconds.  This begs the question- should you buy a dedicated macro lens, or just use your 24-70 or your favorite prime?

That is really a personal decision, simply based on how much you love doing macro photos. But in our experience, most non-macro lenses are just quite soft when shooting at extremely close distances. You can try using a 50mm prime stopped down to f/2.8, and some 50mm’s can focus really close, but others cannot, and none have nearly as much “magnification” as a dedicated macro lens.

Macro Lenses – Value Winners: Tamron 90mm f/2.8 VC Macro Tokina 100mm f/2.8 Macro Sigma 105mm f/2.8 OS Macro

If you really like doing high-quality wedding ring shots, you’re in luck-  You don’t really need to break the bank if all you want is something that is super-sharp and focuses extremely close-up.

Any of these three lenses will work amazingly well, especially if you plan to use manual focus and shoot from a tripod, or use flash.  (We recommend manual focusing for macro shots anyways, but if you really prefer to hand-hold and use autofocus for your macro shots, you might consider a lens with stabilization. See below)

(Yes, you can also use these lenses at normal distances for general photography, too, especially the Tamron and Sigma stabilized lenses.)

  Macro Lens – Performance Champions: Canon 100mm L f/2.8 IS Macro Nikon 105mm f/2.8 VR Macro Sony FE 90mm f/2.8 Macro G OSS

This set of lenses is a might be a bit pricey for a wedding photographer, if you only ever use them for macro shots. However, at ~100mm and with both stabilization and great autofocus, they all make great portrait lenses, too!

So, if for example you primarily shoot telephoto on a zoom such as a 70-200mm, but you’re looking for a prime lens that can do double-duty as both a macro and a lightweight portrait lens for whenever your arm gets tired of hoisting the big 2.8 zoom, one of these macro lenses will be an amazing tool in your kit.

Tilt-Shift Lenses

Tilt-shift lenses were designed to correct perspective and improve depth of field, however, many portrait and wedding photographers dabble in using them to significantly alter depth and perspective in, well, very weird ways.  It’s a difficult skill to perfect, and should only be used sparingly in our opinion, but it’s still a pretty cool effect  Canon and Nikon both make 24mm, 45mm, and 85mm tilt-shift lenses, and Rokinon now makes a 24mm tilt-shift that is a great affordable option, especially considering the specialized nature of these lenses and the fact that you’ll probably only use it once or twice per job.

Conclusion & Additional Reading

Remember, your 1-2 favorite prime lenses are only part of a wedding photographer’s system! Depending on your style, you may want to supplement the wide and/or long end of your range with a zoom or two.  The important thing is to practice a lot and define your style before making any major investments…  If you’re just starting out, we highly recommend renting a bunch of different lenses and finding opportunities to 2nd shoot, or just get out and do some general practice on your own!

Here’s the other gear guides we have published for wedding photographers:

Our complete guide to wedding photography DSLR bodies Complete guide to wedding photography zoom lenses

  Click HERE to return to the main collection of photography equipment recommendations!

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[whatwouldkenziedo-blog1]

(Kenzie’s Blog 7/17/17)

Hello to my non-existent readers! I am terribly sorry that I haven’t been here to blog. Recently a bunch of dumb teenage drama has been going on and I just haven’t made the effort to blog, but today I am back!

I will start with a story. Once upon a time there was a girl named Kenzie who was born a fat baby. She continued to grow up but continued getting more fat too. She then one day, after years of hating herself and being bullied, she realized she wanted to be different and healthy. So she started going to a weight loss program at her doctor’s office and started to lose weight. Now she is happy because she feels good about herself and her health. Kenzie is continuing to lose weight and stay on a steady life style. The end. Okay so if you couldn’t guess, Kenzie in the story is the same Kenzie writing this blog. LOL. I have always been a fat person. My W H O L E life. And it’s always bothered me, of course. But not THIS BAD. I mean I hate who I am and it’s to the point where my health is really affected by my weight. 

I started going to a weight loss program at my adolescents doctor on Friday (7/14/17) and that appointment went EXTREMELY well. I am hyped to begin this journey of weight loss and a whole new lifestyle. Basically in this program I meet with a personal trainer, dietician, and stomach doctor every month. If I lose any weight from the last time I saw them each month, I get an incentive (AKA a gift card to Academy). Not only are they motivating me with plastic cards that represent money, but also are motivating me with their care and support. The program employees REALLY care about each individual that they see. I feel so comfortable going into this program and changing my life with these folks. I couldn’t be more appreciative, especially since they have provided me with a scale, a ProGym (home gym equipment), and a FitBit. Not only do they give me tons of stuff and resources, they’ve also provided me with tons of excellent advice and ideas and plans to get me started on this wild ride I will be going through. 

So every month we have a set of nutrition goals and exercise goals and that’ll obviously change each month with my strength and abilities becoming bigger, the responsibilities and goals will also be bigger. 

This month’s goals:

NUTRITION:

1. Weigh yourself every morning

2. Eat slower (take 20 minutes at least)

3. Remember H.A.U.L.T. 

H- hungry

A- angry

U- upset

L- lonely

T- tired

These are each things that will make me want to eat since I have an eating disorder and I’m also a natural human being and eat when I’m hungry. But the point of remembering these things is that I will also have coping skills for each time I go through one of these reasons to eat.

Hungry - Eat when you are hungry, but don’t wait till’ you’re starving. Stop when you’re full, but not when you’re about to pop!

Angry, Upset, and Lonely - Use another coping skill besides eating, preferably EXERCISE!!!

Tired - Always have meals prepped, so I can’t use being tired as an excuse to not cook, or to go through the drive-thru.

AND

4. NO SODAS OR SWEET TEA

( For anyone who knows me, knows that blood does NOT flow through my veins, but sweet tea DOES! In conclusion, this will be SO HARD for me to accomplish. Butttttttt I will do it!)

5. NO FAST FOOD

( I also am a very big fan of eating fast food so this will be a challenge too.)

6. Low carb diet

EXERCISE:

1. Weigh yourself every morning

2. Reach your FitBit step goal of the day (Right now that’s only 5,000 steps)

3. Walk 30 Min. , 5 days a week

4. Use your ProGym for 15 Min. , 3 times a day, for 3 days a week.

5. Do an extra activity such as Zumba, tennis, or volleyball for 30 Min. , once a week

So those are my goals for this month. Next month I will be stronger and more capable of doing harder goals. Right now this is already kicking my ass. If you don’t know what a ProGym is, I recommend looking it up. It’s hard to do when you’re weak y’all!

But I will keep you guys updated on my weight loss and my goals of the month whenever I get new ones! 

Enough about my health. 

I want to talk about cute boys for a second. There’s a cute boy that I really like and I think he likes me too and he’s single now. So I don’t know where things will take us but hopefully things go slow and maybe something good will come out of it. I’LL KEEP Y’ALL POSTED.

Today I want to talk about insecurities and how God plays a part in how you feel about yourself. I want you to know that I am extremely insecure and that most days I don’t like looking in the mirror. It has a lot to do with my weight but some days I’m unhappy with my face or my hair or even my personality or my voice! There’s always some kind of flaw that I can pick out and just study on for hours in the mirror or I’ll think about something dumb I did years ago as I lie in bed trying to fall asleep. I can never be satisfied with who I am. Or at least I haven’t been before. So that being said, remember that I am someone who knows what it’s like to hate who you are. But during church camp a couple of weeks ago I got the amazing privilege of having Adam Griffin be the pastor of the week while I was there and I really enjoyed hearing him preach the gospel and share his testimony. One day before camp ended Adam had a small get together with anyone who wanted to go into ministries, whether that’s mission work, being a youth pastor, or pastor in general, or someone who’s a disciple, just anyone who wanted to go down that path, and he would answer any questions we had. Well obviously I went to that because I was fascinated with Adam and his journey that he took to become such an impacting man in people’s lives. I just had to know “how do I become that?” . So I went to this meeting and it was so cool to see all these teenagers who were like me in the sense that they wanted to be like Adam and change lives! I had one question for Adam. “Since you’ve said before you used to be super insecure, how do you keep your insecurities from affecting your work as you serve the Lord?”  And he had the best answer for me that planted a seed in my heart and it will grow into a tree that produces seeds for me to give to others, he said “When you walk with God, you don’t have to be insecure.” and WOW did that make me want to cry. This whole time I thought I’ve been walking with God, and I mean I have, but I’ve hated myself and I’ve hated this beautiful creation that God has made. I’m betraying God by hating his work and not believing that he can do great things with me. I do NOT have to be insecure when I walk with God. I do NOT have to fear when I walk with God. I do NOT have to hate when I walk with God. It made me realize that I need confidence in myself and who I’ve been made into. I need to love myself and those around me. We are all children of God and made in his perfect image, so why would I hate that? Why would I hate such beauty? 

What I want you to learn from this is that God made you and he made you in his image of what he thinks is beautiful. Be grateful for all he has done for you and how he has made you. Love yourself and everyone else. Remember that when you walk with God, you do not have to be insecure, and you are NOT alone. So come on, will you walk with God with me?

[angrybrowngirlabroad-blog]

The Long Road Home: Emotional Abuse and Creativity

I cannot say when it started exactly, and I suppose that’s the point, if you know a bullet is coming, maybe you can dodge it.  Or maybe you can’t, it is a bullet, and for the sake of this metaphor, I had never held a gun.  It wasn’t until almost a year after that I began to realize what had happened to me.  When the relationship started, I did not know there was such a thing as emotional abuse.  A sheltered 21 year old, I had started dating a man seven years my senior, eventually moving in with him as we tethered our lives together.  In the early days it was bliss, everything seemed right, but as the years wore on things started to change.  We started fighting more and more, fights that would come out of nowhere, and back me into a corner, until I lashed out in a fury trying to defend myself against some accusation with no basis in reality.  I had no idea the damage that was being done to me, after all, it’s not like he ever raised a hand to me.

In the months following our break-up, which I put into motion following a particularly public and terrible fight, I felt like I was returning from some kind of war.  I struggled to sort my life out, dealing with a sharp decrease in finances, trying to make it work with a roommate I barely knew in a tiny apartment I overlooking the 15/8 freeway intersection.  I drank heavily, but cheaply, two dollar wines, or straight gin from a giant bottle someone had given me, always with no mixer, because I always forgot to buy mixers when I was purchasing my meager groceries at the local Mexican market.  I was so afraid of going broke, but I needed to alcohol to sleep at night, so I bought only the cheapest food and booze.

When I wasn’t drunk I was anxious, always worried that I was going to mess something up, that I was going to fail.  I was not yet conscious of the blow my confidence had taken.  I always projected myself as someone who knew what was going on, someone in control, which was perhaps why many of my friends didn’t notice, or didn’t comment on the fact that I was drinking myself to death.  I was scared, though, scared I couldn’t do it, and scared that if I failed, I would prove him right when he said I couldn’t manage without him.

Eventually I found a sort of balance.  I moved out the apartment with the indifferent roommate into a more supportive household with people who actually cared about me.  I learned how to budget in a way that I wasn’t starving myself, and how to sleep without the bottle.  I was now managing, but I wasn’t going anywhere, I had found a comfortable stasis with partners who didn’t yell at me, and that was good enough.

Except, in the back of my mind, I knew it wasn’t.

When I was in my emotionally abusive relationship I gave up a lot of myself to devote myself to my partner and our life.  I stopped going to school, stopped reading as much to spend time on the couch watching tv with him, I stopped writing and drawing.  I carried a sketchbook and notebook around with me all through middle school, high school and college, only to suddenly put them away, out of sight and out of mind.  I gave these things up, willingly, for love.  I continued performing, but even then he would give me grief for taking the time, two nights a week, for dance practice with my troupe.  “I just miss you so much when you’re at practice” he would say (we lived together).  Sometimes I think dancing and performing is what kept my head above water during those times.

As I stumbled through the months following the dissolution of my relationship I reassembled myself, piece by piece.  But even a year later, there were still pieces missing.  I couldn’t draw, and I couldn’t write, at least not the way I used to.  I tried to finish old drawings, but my heart wasn’t in it.  I opened up old stories on my laptop and re-read the beginnings to try and add to them, but I could not come up with anything.  The girl who had wrote those stories was gone, and I was still trying desperately to bring her back, not understanding that I would never be that girl again.

Faced with the inability to write fiction, to draw, or compose any kind of poetry (though poetry was always my weakest of the three) I started to write non-fiction.  In my quest to discover who I was, I began writing openly and honestly about my feelings and experiences on a variety of subjects.  I entered and left relationships, good and bad, and documented my growth along the way.  I put fingers to keys and poured my heart out, posting it on social media for all to see, wondering if my words would ever reach someone.  I could not make up stuff any more, so instead I pulling fantasy from my head, I pulled rawness from my heart, hoping that, eventually, to former would come back to me.

During that time I also continued to perform, saying things onstage with my body that I wasn’t ready to put words to yet.  I wrote my tales in the gestures of my hands, the movements of my hips, the expressions on my face.  The reactions to my shows, the applause and comments after, sustained me.  I got pieces of the validation I was constantly seeking outside myself, but a part of me was still missing.  It was good, but it wasn’t the same as putting pen to paper.  The effect of being onstage was a quick shot, that would sustain me for a few days, different, to me at least, from the experience of writing something that satisfied me, and existed for me to visit and revisit as necessary.

Then, after two years of meandering, and half-hearted self-searching, I hit emotional rock bottom.  

I had spent the two years following the dissolution of my bad relationship trying to prove to myself that I was someone capable, and someone worthy of love and respect.  I projected an image of strength and confidence, because “fake it till you make it” was a strategy that had worked for me in the past.  But when another bad relationship fell apart, I had to recognize that while I was faking it, I was indeed not making it.  I was not as confident as I projected, in fact, I really didn’t like myself all that much.  I’d been seeking validation in my partners, using them as mirrors, gazing into them and hoping they would reflect back to me that I was someone worthwhile.  But if I didn’t believe it myself, how could I hope to convince anyone else of it?

Admitting to myself that I didn’t like myself was the beginning of my real life, post confidence crushing relationship of my early twenties.  I swore that I would make myself into someone that I was proud of, someone that no longer needed to seek the approval of a partner in order to feel whole.  I began to challenge myself in new ways, and with each step forward (and a few steps back here and there) I began to truly heal.  It was as if I had spent two years building the outside of my chrysalis, and now I could crawl within it and become the creature I was meant to be.

When I left the states last year, it was on a mission to challenge myself, to seek new horizons, to trust in my skills and my instincts, and to prove to myself that I was the capable, fearless woman I once was, before everything that stole that from me.  I made a path, where I had never imagined one before, and I discovered the difference between surviving and living.

My friends gave me sketchbooks before I left, pens and colored pencils, they told me to write, and draw, and document my travels and my thoughts.  I did, but it felt halting at first, I hated everything I produced, viewing it with the same, overly-critical eye that I apply to most areas of my life.  As time went on, though, things began to flow more.  I started challenging myself to draw things I had never drawn before, to try and imagine characters again, to even make attempts at poetry.  In finding myself again, I had also found my creativity that had spent so many years stifled by self-doubt.  It was different now, the things I wrote, the themes I explored, than before, but I was different now.  I realized that I was never going to be the girl I was before, and that was fine, because I actually really liked the woman I am now, wiser, stronger and kinder than her predecessor.

I lost my sketchbook in Guatemala, a minor blow.  I bought another one a week into my visit to the states.  

I wrote a poem a few weeks ago.  Then two this week, and while they are chunky, amateurish attempts that may be deleted, never to see the light of day, what they symbolize is so much more.  They are evidence of my healing, of wounds since scarred over, fading with every year.  They are proof of a heart willing to explore and to entertain the risk of failure again.  They are an example of how far I have come in the last four years.

It’s good to be home.  

[slrlounge1]

Wedding Photography DSLR Prime Lenses – The Complete Guide | 2019 Update

Overview of Wedding Photography Equipment

With so many different styles of photography out there, wedding photography equipment can vastly differ from one photographer to another. For example, a natural light photographer may require a very different set of lenses and accessories than a photographer with more fashion and studio lighting influences.  And then there’s the whole issue of DSLR versus mirrorless (native) lenses!

Regardless, we still can narrow down our list of recommendations to what we think the majority of wedding photographers should own.  For this particular article, we will focus on prime lenses only, and other articles will get into zoom lenses, camera bodies, lighting, and accessories that a wedding (or “lifestyle portrait” type) photographer might need.

To view our complete guide to camera bodies for wedding photography, click HERE. To view our complete guide to zoom lenses for wedding photography, click HERE.

Define Your Style: Primes VS Zooms In WEdding PHotography

The very first thing we need to discuss is primes VS zooms.  When it comes to wedding, event, and portrait photography this always seems to be the biggest issue that divides all the advice-givers out there.  There are highly zealous people who passionately argue in favor of each!

In our opinion, it is simply a matter of preference, not a “better / worse” type thing.  Some photographers find that they simply hate zooms and love primes, while others cannot live without a set of good f/2.8 zooms.  Both systems are capable of delivering amazing results; it simply depends on your style as a photographer.  (How much you like to move around, or be challenged to think creatively, or if you have a bad back or something lol?)

Therefore, we will make our recommendations from both perspectives, in separate guides, and this article will focus mainly on zoom lenses.

Before we get to individual lens recommendations though, we need to talk about your overall kit.  Recommending individual lenses just doesn’t complete the whole story for a wedding photographer because there are just so many different angles to cover!

A Complete Kit – Zooms

The absolute safest bet for wedding photography is a set of 2-3 fast zooms and 1-2 fast primes.  For example a 70-200 plus a 24-70 and/or a 16-35 zoom, and a 35mm, 50mm or 85mm prime thrown in for creative shooting and low-light.  That right there is many wedding photographers’ go-to setup.

Some photographers prefer the 24-70 mid-range because it is versatile enough to shoot almost everything from details and venue shots to candids and formal portraits.  Other wedding photographers feel that 24mm just isn’t wide enough for their style and they opt for a dedicated wide-angle zoom instead.  (Sometimes these folks wind up never using their 24-70 again!)

Either way, the bottom line is that it takes about 3-4 total lenses to create a well-rounded “product” for a wedding.  (Not even counting specialty lenses such as macro or fisheye lenses.)

If you rely heavily on your zooms, then it is usually better if they are f/2.8, sharp as heck wide open, and stabilized if possible.  Oppositely, if you rely more on your primes and only rarely use your zooms, you might be able to get away with f/4 zooms, or older / third-party f/2.8 zooms.  But we’ll get into budgeting in a bit.

A Complete Kit – Primes

Usually, the wedding photographers who love primes fall into two categories-  Those who love 50mm only, and barely use any other lenses, …and those who prefer a combo of two or more primes, usually a 35mm and 85mm setup.  You often find these photographers shooting with two camera bodies at once, with those two primes permanently attached to each camera.

In my professional experience, I prefer a combination of primes and zooms.  I love 85mm primes and 28-35mm primes, but wider and longer angles are best covered with a zoom.  (The “zoom with your feet” thing really works best between 28mm and 85mm!) To be frank, I just find that 50mm gets boring after a while so I love having an 85mm prime on one of my cameras, paired with something wider on a 2nd camera.

Of course, when I talk about “permanently” attaching certain lenses to your cameras, I just mean the one or two lenses that a wedding photographer would use most frequently.  You still need to supplement your arsenal with a few other lenses, in my opinions.  Shooting with a single lens just won’t produce a full and complete product.  For example, a prime shooter might rely mainly on a single 50mm prime or a 35+85 combo, but also have a 14-24 and 70-200 in their bag as I mentioned above.

This article will focus mainly on prime lenses and specialty lenses for wedding photography.  Our article on zoom lenses can be found HERE.

The Lenses That “Define Your Style”

Whatever your style, you should be able to identify that one special lens that you just adore, the lens that helps you define your style.  This is the lens you should spend the most money on, and maybe even consider having a backup of!

For example, if you love 85mm as much as I do, you might want to consider one of the best 85mm’s that money can buy.  Unfortunately, most of those “exotic” 85mm’s are massively heavy, and expensive! So, why not also buy the f/1.8 versions as a backup, or for shooting more active situations where you need very snappy autofocus?

The Nikon, Canon, and Sony 85mm f/1.8’s are all incredible lenses, and they are great at nailing focus consistently even in terrible light.  Plus, they’re much lighter and smaller, if you’re in a candid situation where you want be unobtrusive or incognito.

Why am I bothering to say all of this? Because often times, beginners feel compelled to go straight to the absolute most expensive lenses, all across the board, before they even know what their style is.  To these people buying anything less than the absolute best is just a waste in the long run. If money is no object to you then that’s great, you can start shopping now; the rest of us can keep reading and figure out which lenses to invest in first etc…

In my opinion, as a working professional buying an affordable lens in the short term just becomes a backup lens in the long run.  Especially if it is that one special focal length you just love.  Imagine if you accidentally drop or get a splash of water your favorite lens, mid-wedding, and it becomes non-functional.  What do you do for the rest of the day?  Do you just completely change your shooting style and not use that focal range at all?  The difference would really, really show in your final delivery.  So don’t be afraid to purchase a mid-price lens if it is all you can afford at first.  Also, it is better to make a small investment in a lens that you wind up only using here and there than to mistakenly spend $2,000 on a lens that you hardly ever use once you define your style…

So, spend the most money on the lenses that define your style.  Then “fill the gaps” with other lenses.  Maybe this means you get a few of the high-end prime lenses that you love, and just use third-party lenses to cover a zoom range that you use less often..  Or a combination of both primes and zooms; whatever suits you!

Disclaimer #1: Of course this philosophy of prioritizing your budget mainly applies to those who are just starting out.  As you achieve success as a professional, (hopefully!) you’re welcome to fill your camera bag with all the best lenses on the market.  Reward yourself for all your hard work!  We’re not here to encourage hard-working photographers that they should buy a set of low-budget lenses.  However, when you’re just starting out, keep your overall budget in mind and try to define your style before making big investments.  Renting lenses and 2nd shooting at weddings, for example, is a great way to try stuff out.

Disclaimer #2: We understand that even our “value” recommendations may seem a little pricey to some people.  We simply believe that any aspiring professional wedding photographer should be able to invest this much in at least 2-3 lenses.  If you’re on an even smaller shoestring budget, we simply find it difficult to recommend any lenses below a certain price point because they usually do have more significant drawbacks that can cause you to regret the purchase eventually.

Without any further ado, we will break down the must-have prime lenses for wedding photographers, in our usual Gear Guide categories- “Performance Champions” and “Value Winners”.  Enjoy!

50mm Prime Lens Recommendations

All-Around Value Winner: Nikon 50mm f/1.8 G Canon 50mm f/1.8 STM Sony 50mm f/1.8 FE

From the aspiring pro wedding photographer who is on a budget to the veteran who is simply tired of lugging around a bag of heavy lenses, and even the f/2.8 zoom lover who barely ever uses primes, …there is no better news than Nikon’s decision to revamp their f/1.8 prime lineup in sharp, professional-grade new lenses.  The $200 Nikon 50mm f/1.8 G is the most affordable of any new lens that we recommend to wedding photographers.  This is not your uncle’s crappy “plastic fantastic” 50mm, it is a well-built, reliable piece of glass that even has a weather-sealing gasket at the lens mount!

I try not to publish “fightin’ words”, but from my tests this dirt-cheap beginner prime has equal or better sharpness than even our bokeh champion, the Canon 50mm f/1.2 L.  Yeah, it’s that good. No, the DOF and colors aren’t as good; the Canon 50 L is still in a league of its own. I just want to make it clear that this Nikon 50mm is a force to be reckoned with if all you need is sharpness and solid quality.

Of course if you really love 50mm as a focal length and are working as a professional, you might as well just spend another ~$250 and get the Nikon 50mm f/1.4 or the Sigma 50mm f/1.4, since they too are relatively affordable at around $400-500.  You should only budget so little money for a 50mm if you already know that your style lies more with a different focal range.  Personally, I’m happy with the 50 1.8 G because I love to use 85mm and 28mm / 35mm a lot more.  I really only get out my 50mm anymore for specific group shots that require that exact focal length.

Why are there no other “value winners” in this category, you might ask?  Because quite honestly the other 50mm f/1.8 options out there are just not a good long-term investment for a professional wedding photographer.  If you’re a Nikon shooter then this new 50mm 1.8 G should be your starting point, and if you’re a Canon shooter you should actually skip both the Canon 50mm f/1.8 and the f/1.4, and just get the Sigma 50mm f/1.4 instead.  It is way sharper and stronger built than either of the affordable Canon 50mm’s. Yet the Sigma is so good that it belongs in our performance champion category!  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Performance Champion (Unlimited Budget) Canon 50mm f/1.2 L II Canon RF 50mm f/1.2

Unless you count the rare and elusive Canon 50mm f/1.0 L, these two lenses are the champions of all full-frame 50mm’s when it comes to achieving shallow DOF and creamy bokeh.  The price tags, size and weight are pretty significant though, making their purchase a pretty big decision.  They’re worth every penny, for sure, especialy the new mirrorless RF version.  It destroys the other Canon 50mm’s with respect to sharpness and autofocus speed.

Keep in mind that the older, (DSLR, EF mount) Canon 50 1.2 L is indeed sluggish to focus, and accuracy can drop in low light, depending on which camera you shoot it with.  A flagship 1-series Canon might not let you down, but with a Rebel or almost any camera with less AF power than the 5D mkIV, …you will struggle to nail focus consistently.  Therefore, this (older) lens is best suited for general posed portraiture and only light photojournalism.

Performance Champion (affordable) Sigma 50mm f/1.4 Art

Even though it is only $400, (with a $100 instant rebate that is often available) …this Sigma lens finds itself in the performance champion category because it is just that darn good.  In fact it competes well with the Canon 50 1.2 which costs a whopping $1,000 more!  Unlike most copies of the Canon 50mm f/1.4 which desperately need to be at f/2 in order to really start getting sharp; the Sigma 50mm is good enough to be shot wide open even for very important shots.  When it nails focus, that is.  Sigma’s HSM focus motor in this lens is just barely more snappy than Canon’s USM focus motor in the 50 L.

Performance Champion #3: Nikon 58mm f/1.4 G

Don’t be fooled by its lack of “f/1.2” written on the lens, this “normal” prime also packs some incredible, creamy bokeh.

Of course, if you already own the older Nikon 50mm f/1.4 G and you don’t use 50mm all the time, you can probably just keep on using that older lens.  However, if you really love 50mm and want “that look” from your shallow depth shots, you should certainly consider upgrading.

Medium Wide Angle Prime Lens Recommendations

Between 24mm and 50mm there are a handful of prime lenses that many wedding photographers (especially the photojournalist types) love to use.

Again keep in mind that depending on your style, you might be much better off with a 24-70mm zoom instead, and you should rent/try out lenses before investing.  Basically, the only main reason to buy a prime lens in this range is if you really want an aperture faster than f/2.8, otherwise, you’re better off with a zoom.  These are some of the most commonly regretted purchases among newbie photographers, so proceed with caution!

35mm Performance Champion: Sigma 35mm f/1.4 EX DG Art

This was one of Sigma’s very first “Art” class lenses. It took the prime world by storm, surpassing its direct competition, the Canon 35mm f/1.4 L (mk1) and Nikon 35mm f/1.4 G, …and at almost half the price!  While the name-brand 35mm’s are indeed also performance champions, this Sigma steals our recommendation for any new buyers.

If you already have a name-brand 35mm f/1.4, you probably won’t really need to upgrade.  The Canon 35mm f/1.4 L mk2 is indeed an incredible lens, however, it’s also nearly $1,700.

35mm Value Winners: Nikon 35mm f/2 Canon 35mm f/2

Both of these lenses are relatively affordable, and good performers.  They’re only f/2 though, making it tough for them to compete with the latest razor-sharp f/2.8 zooms.  Unless of course you’re also looking to save weight – both of these 35mm’s are about the size and weight of a “nifty fifty”, making them a delight to shoot towards the end of a long wedding day.

These aren’t exactly “go-to” staple lenses though, for a long-term, heavy-duty workload.  They’re certainly still a good intermediate buy, however, to indulge in your need for lighter and smaller lenses to use towards the end of a long wedding day, as I mentioned above, or simply to test the waters of this focal range and see how much you like it.

35mm Performance AND Value Champion: Canon 35mm IS f/2

An oddball, this lens is.  While it costs almost as little as its un-stabilized, aging siblings from Canon and Nikon, it is amazingly sharp, built almost like an L lens, and stabilized!  Therefore we feel that it deserves both value and performance recommendations.  If you are a bit jittery and hate heavier lenses, give this one a try for sure.

28mm Performance AND Value Champion: Nikon 28mm f/1.8 G

Some prime-loving photojournalists feel that 35mm isn’t wide enough yet 24mm is a little too wide.  Queue the 28mm primes! This new Nikon 28mm f/1.8 is a stunning performer. The image quality is superb, as good as any of its f/1.4 competition at 24mm or 35mm.

For those of you Nikon history buffs out there- why didn’t we bother listing the legendary Nikon 28mm f/1.4 in this category?  After all it is indeed a “performance champion”…  True, but unfortunately it has become such a collector’s item that it is highly overpriced compared to the alternatives.  If you’re a Nikon die-hard fan you could consider it, otherwise you can find many better ways to spend ~$3,000!

F/2.8 Prime Champions: Canon 28mm f/2.8 IS Canon 24mm f/2.8 IS

These two lenses are great, but difficult to place in our guide- they are relatively expensive,  for such modest specifications.  They’re stabilized and sharp as heck though, so if you really like shooting natural light and hate the weight of a 24-70mm, but are OK with f/2.8, then do consider one of these.

Performance Champions: Nikon 24mm f/1.4 G Canon 24mm f/1.4 L mk2

While these two lenses aren’t much cheaper than an f/2.8 zoom that covers their range, they are at least a bit lighter and smaller.  Also while the ability to create shallow DOF at 24mm isn’t that dramatic, the faster aperture does wonderful things for shooting hand-held in low-light, making them favorites among wedding photojournalists who prefer natural light.

This is one of the main “love/hate” relationship lenses for full-frame wedding photographers.  Some find they never use it and just stick with their 24-70, or a 35 / 50mm prime, while others fall in love and the lens never leaves one of their cameras.  Either way, if you love this focal length and you love shooting hand-held in natural light, these two lenses are awesome.

…Then again, if Sigma winds up making a 24mm f/1.4 “Art” that is nearly as good as their new 35mm f/1.4, these two name-brand 24mm’s could potentially get bumped out of their top spot.  (It’s Sept. 2013 now; only rumors thus far about a Sigma 24mm)

Speaking of Sigma wide-angle primes; currently there are three older f/1.8 primes available, the 20mm, 24mm, and 28mm f/1.8.  All of these lenses are decently sharp enough to be considered, though a little too pricey for a “value winner” title.

Ultra Wide Angle Prime Lens Recommendations

First I need to disclaim that ultra-wide angle prime lenses are pretty uncommon in wedding photography. To be honest most wedding shooters should probably just consider one of our ultra-wide zoom lens recommendations which we discuss HERE.

Why?  Because most of the older primes in the 14-20mm range are totally eclipsed in performance by today’s zooms, and some of the more affordable zooms are almost as affordable as a comparable prime. So unless you randomly come across a great bargain at a garage sale or on Ebay, stick with the ultra-wide zoom recommendations.

Then again, all of these recommendations offer significant weight savings over most ultra-wide zooms, as well as decent cost savings.

Nikon 20mm f/2.8 Canon 20mm f/2.8

These two primes are tough to justify buying even for a prime lover, because they both cost even more than one of our favorite f/4 ultra-wide zooms, (the Tokina 17-35mm f/4) …and only a few hundred dollars short of a used f/2.8 ultra-wide zoom.  Yet they are getting pretty old, and corner softness / field curvature can be a problem.

In fact compared to a zoom, the only reasons to buy one of these two lenses are like I mentioned- if you really care about keeping your total kit as light as possible, or if you “score” one for really cheap.

  Tokina 17mm f/3.5 ATX Pro

A much better choice in my opinion than any other ultra-wide prime, the Tokina 17mm f/3.5 ATX Pro is a little-known gem.  While most other ultra-wide primes either have bad image quality, fall-apart construction, or are cost-prohibitive, …this lens is decently sharp, rock-solid yet tiny, and extremely affordable!  (The Nikon 18mm f/2.8 and Nikon 20mm f/2.8 are both $600+, while this lens is <$300) Additionally, it is compact, lightweight, and compatible with 77mm filters!

These lenses are a little hard to find, but create a “saved search” on Ebay or check KEH.com every now and then, and you should be able to score one for about $300 or less eventually.

Canon 14mm f/2.8 L Nikon 14mm f/2.8 D

These two lenses are for the low-light photojournalist who often works in tight quarters and wants something as wide as possible without having to pony up for the likes of the Nikon 14-24mm f/2.8 G or Canon 16-35mm f/2.8 L mk2, and/or have it take up a ton of space in their bag.

They are the classic “rent one to see if you like it, don’t just randomly buy them” type of lens

Fisheye Lenses

We can once again harken back to our landscape ultra-wide lens recommendation here:  Fisheye lenses are such specialized items that you should only invest in them to the extent that you plan to use them.  If you’re obsessed with the fisheye look, such as for dance floor action shots or other interesting angles, then maybe consider a Nikon 16mm f/2.8 Fisheye or a Canon 15mm f/2.8 Fisheye.  However, the Sigma 15mm f/2.8 EX DG Fisheye is a great option too if you just use it as a “play around” type lens.

Personally, as a Nikon user, I’d rather just get the oldschool manual focus Nikon 16mm f/2.8 AIS Fisheye, because it’s built like a rock (no, literally!) and I can just jam it in the bottom of my rolling camera case and not worry about it.

Telephoto Prime Lens Recommendations

Since there are primes available from 85mm to 200mm, once again we’ll have to just throw all the “performance champions” and “value winners” together in a jumble.  Here goes nothing!

All-Around Value Winners: Canon EF 85mm f/1.8 USM Nikon AF-S 85mm f/1.8 G

A great alternative to a 70-200 zoom for low-light candids and portraits, these two lenses are well-loved by any photographer who wants a portable, lightweight telephoto prime for portraits of 1-2 people.

They’re also killer for general low-light photojournalism, however at well under 100mm they just don’t fully replace a 70-200 zoom, especially in larger venues.  You might need to get a cheaper 70-200 or another telephoto prime to supplement an 85mm prime.

  Canon 100mm f/2

Another little-known gem, for those who tried and liked 85mm but want a little extra reach.  Great sharpness and overall image quality, once again the only issue is that you need to remove chromatic aberrations in post-production.  Also, like the Canon 85 1.8 it is a little less rugged than an L prime.

Sheer Performance Champions: Canon 85mm f/1.2

The king(s) of bokeh, when it comes to 85mm.  While f/1.2 primes are usually a little more sluggish than their f/1.4 and f/1.8 alternatives, anyone who shoots portraits and weddings knows that there are still times when it’s worth it to nail focus and achieve a gorgeously blurred background.

Just be sure you’re well-practiced at nailing focus at f/1.2 before jumping into an action-packed wedding day. Nailing focus at any aperture faster than f/4 isn’t easy, but f/1.2 and 85mm are a whole new level of shallow DOF. The older Canon 85mm f/1.2 L II is a bit of a slug to focus, honestly, however the new mirrorless RF 85mm f/1.2 L ought to be much snappier if it is anything like its RF 50mm f/1.2 sibling.

Sigma 85mm f/1.4 Art Nikon AF-S 85mm f/1.4 G

These two 85mm lenses are also ready to deliver beautiful bokeh and incredible sharpness, despite their 2/3 EV smaller aperture.

As with any fast prime, you should remember to use chromatic aberration removal in post-production, but other than that the image quality of both lenses is world-class.  Both are also well-built. (OK, let’s be honest, the Sigma is a monster!)

   Nikon AF-S 105mm f/1.4E ED

Nikon’s fast-aperture telephoto portrait champion is this beast, the 105mm f/1.4E. It is everything that an 85mm f/1.4 could offer, and then some. If you’re looking to really “kill” a background with bokeh, or shoot telephoto candids from a distance in low light, this lens offers more reliable autofocus than any Nikon-mount ~105mm alternative.

Canon 135mm f/2 L

A truly legendary lens among Canon photographers, you just cannot go wrong with this lens if you are looking for an alternative to all the hefty 70-200mm’s.  Although it lacks IS stabilization, the added stop of light and shallower DOF is worth it!

  Sigma 150mm f/2.8 OS Macro EX DG

While an 85mm or 100mm lens is not “long” enough to fully replace a 70-200mm zoom, this Sigma 150mm f/2.8 OS Macro is close enough to do the job quite well.  (Especially if you have a 30-50-megapixel camera, and use 1.2x or 1.5x crop mode for general candid work.)

This lens includes stabilization, which most 105mm’s and 135mm’s do not, and it is also a 1:1 macro lens! A triple threat for any portrait/candid/event photographer who wants a prime in this focal range.

Exotic Performance Champions: Canon 200mm f/2 L IS Nikon 200mm f/2 VR

These two lenses, although some would argue are overkill for weddings and lifestyle type portraits, seem to be the “Rolex” of telephoto bokeh champions.

Bottom line, these two lenses are both flawlessly sharp, incredibly snappy to focus, and offer a truly unique shooting experience.

Of course, any successful wedding photographers could do just fine with a 70-200mmm f/2.8, but that’s not the point.  These lenses are what camera geeks buy instead of a Harley when they turn 45.

Sony Prime Lenses For Wedding Photography

Over the last 5 years, Sony’s full-frame mirrorless system has gone from having almost no native lenses, to a complete and formidable arsenal of both zooms and primes. With the release of the newest GM (that’s Sony’s label for their best stuff) 135mm f/1.8, a Sony prime shooter has plenty of incredible options to choose from for both wedding and portrait photography.

Sony FE 24mm f/1.4 GM

Quite simply, this is the best 24mm around. We don’t know how they did it, but Sony managed to create a 24mm f/1.4 prime with incredible image quality from corner to corner, even wide open at f/1.4 or f/2. It’s also quite lightweight and portable, and offers an aperture ring that can be de-clicked for video use, plus a customizable Fn button.

  Sony SONNAR T* FE 55mm f/1.8 ZA

This relatively compact, modest aperture prime is one of the most impressive performers that Sony has produced in its range. Incredibly sharp, it offers not just portability for those long 12+ hour wedding days,  but also, its diminutive size allows the photographer to shoot in a more relaxed, casual atmosphere compared to sticking a giant 24-70mm or 70-200mm in everybody’s face. In short, this lens represents everything that is good about being a prime shooter!

  Sony FE 85mm f/1.4 GM

As its GM designation indicates, this lens is incredibly sharp, relatively snappy to focus, and built solidly. If you’re looking for a workhorse 85mm prime that you can mount natively on your full-frame Sony (FE) body, this is a lens that can deliver the goods.

  Sony FE 135mm f/1.8 GM

If you’re looking for extreme bokeh, look no further (pun intended?) than a 135mm f/1.8 prime, such as the Sony 135mm f/1.8 GM. Like its DSLR competitor the Sigma 135mm f/1.8, the Sony 135mm FE GM will deliver gorgeously shallow depth, while offering a longer subject distance which actually helps you keep a subject’s face in focus more, compared to the same framing with a 50mm f/1.2 or 85mm f/1.4.  The Sony offers a high-speed, accurate AF motor system, as well as a physical aperture ring that can be de-clicked for smooth video shooting.

Manual-Focus Prime Lenses For Wedding Photography

While I personally have a hard time recommending manual focus lenses for use in wedding photography due to the active nature of weddings, there are some photographers out there who use manual lenses with great success.

The most popular manual focus primes are the classic focal ranges- 35mm, 50mm, or 85mm.  Nikon, Zeiss, and Rokinon are the most common players here with Nikon and Zeiss offering beautiful image quality and incredibly robust lens construction, while Rokinon (and Bower and Samyang) offer great image quality too, but with build quality that may not last as long as a Zeiss lens.

Of course, for those of you who truly love the subtle aesthetics of bokeh and flare, certain Leica lenses seem to be a holy grail among lenses with “character”. Be prepared to pay a pretty penny for the best lenses, though.

My personal favorites?  Although I would rarely ever use them at a wedding, I love the Nikon 35mm f/1.4 AIS, The Nikon 50mm f/1.2 AIS, and the Zeiss ZF 85mm f/1.4.  But again, keep in mind that diving into this world is only advisable for the experienced shooter who knows how to manually focus quickly and accurately.

One benefit of modern mirrorless cameras is that you can quickly magnify the view around your selected focus point, making it truly easy to nail focus in any relatively static situation. Some mirrorless cameras will even auto-magnify to 100% whenever they detect that the focus ring is being turned!

 Crop-Sensor Prime Lens Recommendations For Wedding Photography

What if you shoot with a crop sensor camera?  There are both a handful of great APS-C and Micro Four Thirds dedicated prime lenses, plus of course with most systems you can also just use full-frame prime lenses too.

For this reason, we’ll restrict our recommendations to those wider and medium focal lengths, which allow you to achieve a focal length equivalent that isn’t easily achieved using a full-frame lens on a crop-sensor.

Sigma 16mm f/1.4 DC Contemporary Sigma 30mm f/1.4 DC Contemporary (Also in Sigma Art form) Canon EF-M 22mm f/2 STM Canon EF-M 32mm f/1.4 STM Fuji 16mm XF f/1.4 WR Fuji 23mm XF f/1.4 R

Specialty Lens Recommendations For Wedding Photography

Wedding photographers are a versatile bunch.  At the beginning of a wedding day in a dimly lit hotel room, they can go from shooting candid group photos to macro close-up photos of wedding rings and other jewelry within a matter of seconds.  This begs the question- should you buy a dedicated macro lens, or just use your 24-70 or your favorite prime?

That is really a personal decision, simply based on how much you love doing macro photos. But in our experience, most non-macro lenses are just quite soft when shooting at extremely close distances. You can try using a 50mm prime stopped down to f/2.8, and some 50mm’s can focus really close, but others cannot, and none have nearly as much “magnification” as a dedicated macro lens.

Macro Lenses – Value Winners: Tamron 90mm f/2.8 VC Macro Tokina 100mm f/2.8 Macro Sigma 105mm f/2.8 OS Macro

If you really like doing high-quality wedding ring shots, you’re in luck-  You don’t really need to break the bank if all you want is something that is super-sharp and focuses extremely close-up.

Any of these three lenses will work amazingly well, especially if you plan to use manual focus and shoot from a tripod, or use flash.  (We recommend manual focusing for macro shots anyways, but if you really prefer to hand-hold and use autofocus for your macro shots, you might consider a lens with stabilization. See below)

(Yes, you can also use these lenses at normal distances for general photography, too, especially the Tamron and Sigma stabilized lenses.)

  Macro Lens – Performance Champions: Canon 100mm L f/2.8 IS Macro Nikon 105mm f/2.8 VR Macro Sony FE 90mm f/2.8 Macro G OSS

This set of lenses is a might be a bit pricey for a wedding photographer, if you only ever use them for macro shots. However, at ~100mm and with both stabilization and great autofocus, they all make great portrait lenses, too!

So, if for example you primarily shoot telephoto on a zoom such as a 70-200mm, but you’re looking for a prime lens that can do double-duty as both a macro and a lightweight portrait lens for whenever your arm gets tired of hoisting the big 2.8 zoom, one of these macro lenses will be an amazing tool in your kit.

Tilt-Shift Lenses

Tilt-shift lenses were designed to correct perspective and improve depth of field, however, many portrait and wedding photographers dabble in using them to significantly alter depth and perspective in, well, very weird ways.  It’s a difficult skill to perfect, and should only be used sparingly in our opinion, but it’s still a pretty cool effect  Canon and Nikon both make 24mm, 45mm, and 85mm tilt-shift lenses, and Rokinon now makes a 24mm tilt-shift that is a great affordable option, especially considering the specialized nature of these lenses and the fact that you’ll probably only use it once or twice per job.

Conclusion & Additional Reading

Remember, your 1-2 favorite prime lenses are only part of a wedding photographer’s system! Depending on your style, you may want to supplement the wide and/or long end of your range with a zoom or two.  The important thing is to practice a lot and define your style before making any major investments…  If you’re just starting out, we highly recommend renting a bunch of different lenses and finding opportunities to 2nd shoot, or just get out and do some general practice on your own!

Here’s the other gear guides we have published for wedding photographers:

Our complete guide to wedding photography DSLR bodies Complete guide to wedding photography zoom lenses

  Click HERE to return to the main collection of photography equipment recommendations!

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