#but like. this is my blog dot com. i just post shit on here

[identityarchitect]

ope. ok

[cerealmonster15]

not 2 be dramatic but also it is my blog where i can ramble about what im feeling whenever i WANT!!! anyway i like. feel like something is fundamentally missing from my entire being or w/e lol. like. i mean there's a very high chance i have adhd which does explain a looooooooot of The Way That I Am and my struggle at doing and focusing on stuff and things and my rapid rotating around short interests in things. but like i also feel like [and maybe this is part of adhd idfk, i havent been Officially Diagnosed just a lot of therapists and friends with adhd all tell me i probs do lol] i just dont feel motivated to do things. and ive been this way i think a lot of my life. i realized a looooong time ago that i was not so motivated by passion but by fear!!!!! fear of failure or whatever!!!

fuckin adding a readmore bc i ended up talking forever lmao

like in school. i got good grades but i never really felt smart exactly. i was able to work really hard and spend a lot of time doing homework and whatever because i feared the consequence of failure. i didnt wanna get bad grades [not even from like a threat from home or anything, i just was afraid of the system lol like i didnt wanna fail and then snowball into ruining everything for my future or w/e. like i've always been kinda 0 to 100 in things like that lolol]

but like i remember going into college like "well i am interested in physics and compsci so i guess ill declare double major til i decide which one id rather do" but i didnt really have a clear goal. physics i dropped first because as much as i like the concept, the classes were still hard and i didnt have any idea of what i'd do with it if i did pursue it. comp sci i at least was like "well i like video games i could do something with that probably" but then i nearly flunked and dropped the class lol. my fault for skipping an intro class bc i was like "Well i learned a lot of the basics in high school" bitch u did not retain any of those basics. anyway i ended up swapping to digital arts under that same "well i like shows and games maybe i can do something with that" and that did ultimately lead me to grad school for game dev and learning what tech art is and all that. and i was employed as one for a lil while!

but then i got let go. and in the midst of a really Hard Time to be unemployd for gamedev bc of the mass layoffs ALSO happening over and over and over and over, so despite the fact that i have some industry experience, i have a significantly harder time even getting interviewed. but a lot of it is my portfolio - unfortunately the nature of the jobs i had didnt really net me much in the way of tangible portfolio work, and a quality / updated portfolio really is what matters in this field

and thats where i hit my problem. i really am not self motivated or like, creative. i dont really have ideas. a lot of my portfolio was school assignments <- stuff i had to do. stuff people told me to do. even now, i sometimes do vfx to help my partner with his solo game hes been making for years, and thats my main portfolio addition source because i need someone to tell me what they want. and then i also struggle to see the vision of that sometimes like ive been SO STUCK on a specific effect im making for the game bc im not understanding the vision and also im not really around other tech artists or vfx artists much anymore. not like in grad school lol. even at my prev job i was the main vfx person so i was kind of on my own floundering around to figure stuff out- and a lot of times i couldnt. there was no senior to guide me if i got stuck.

so when i'm just alone in a vacuum with nothing forcing me to do things i just dont. i LIKE vfx and shaders and even python, but if i dont have a thing where i have to follow specific tasks i just cant think of anything interesting or unique to do myself. even a lot of the python ive learned recently was from a udemy course, which helped a lot bc it was structured with little assignments, explanations i understood in small bursts, and specific projects with specific goals. one of those i did kinda expand on based on what i learned to make a portfolio thing, sort of. it's out of place on my artstation bc it's not really gamedev related at all but its python and it's SOMETHING. python is a tech art skill at least. i can replace it sometime if i have more relevant things but i just dont right now. i dont know what to make. i have no tool ideas, or even if i have a vague idea i just go "i dont really know how id do that" and dont feel motivated enough to figure things out or to make that vague idea even somewhat interesting. vfx i just go "i dont know how to make this look more interesting" and get stuck at unimpressive points if anything. i dont have the designer or passion part of the brain that i kinda need to survive this and it scares me. i like the structure and stability of being employed because someone tells me what they need. i dont know what i'm supposed to do on my own but im supposed to figure it out otherwise my portfolio stays stagnant forever!!!

so many times people will like. have a side project. they learn from those projects. they have a vision they want to see completed and they pick up skills for that thing. my partner is a big example with his game hes making - he could already program but hes learned a lot of the art needed to make it work, because he wanted to see the game made. people have like their comics or animations or games or whatever they do, hobbies, anything that they feel passionate about and i feel like i just lack that passion. scared that i like the idea of doing things more than doing them even if i do enjoy doing the things when i do them, but not enough to like, get myself motivated to lol. if that even makes sense.

like idk. i at least have martial arts - i did aikido in college and i do capoeira now- but it's stuff i can only do bc i have a regular group i pay and go participate in with other people. once i dont have those group settings i dont do it on my own.

ive tried to get myself to learn musical instruments so many times but once i stopped taking lessons for sax or piano bc i got busy with school, i mostly just dropped them. i cant motivate myself enough to practice on my own even tho i did learn enough fundamentals that i probably COULD if i just. cared enough i guess. i always had in the back of my mind that it would be cool, IN THEORY, to draw comics or make a dating sim/visual novel of any flavor, a virtual pet, a farm sim, whatever. but i dont actually have the vision for it. i dont have a story to tell. i'm not motivated enough. ive looked up several times ways i might be able to use python to make a lil tamagotchi project to practice but i just never do!!! maybe i know enough python from the udemy now that i could but would i?? idk!!!

people always say you learn best by just jumping into it. find something fun you want to make or do and then learn as you go. but i dont have passion. im in a vacuum. even with my fics, i still like writing my fics!!! but i slowed down so much on those. because before, i was writing them to share between my friend and me when we were first getting into twst and based off a lot of inside jokes and ideas bouncing off of each other lol. fics, aus, doodles, whatever. and we still talk twst but she isnt caught up to main story anymore and it's not as much of a thing we talk as often or deeply about. i think my doodles got a lot more boring as a result and ive had less ideas. but i do still love the characters so so so so much and i do have fics i want to write... but it slowed down and i dont WANT it to slow down. i get excited over characters and games, and it doesnt really help me in terms of trying to fuckin Get A Job or Learn A Skill or whatever but. like at least it's something. i feel like my doodles got more bland too like i just kinda redoodle the same stiff generic things over and over and over again forever

there are so many things i can just do a little bit of but not enough to be like. impressive. or hireable. or helpful or smart or knowledable or whatever. like i can crochet a little bit. i can sew a LITTLE bit to get some simpler cosplays but nothing fancy. im not motivated enough to push those further to like "make my own clothes" or a more ambitious cosplay even tho i like the base level stuff. i can program a LITTLE in python but cant motivate myself to figure out what to do with it. i used to know a little hlsl and i know some node based shader stuff but not enough to be super deep with it. like more than a non tech artist i guess but not enough to make things that really look all that good 😑 i used to do tech theater in high school, but only really knew the basics of the woodworking and lightbooth stuff, not enough/not kept up with where i could do anything with that now even though i enjoyed it then. i was in chorus in school for like five years in middle/high school and i took some basic piano and saxophone lessons but every time i try to go back to something like that im dusting off the cobwebs. i also have always had huge anxiety so i coudnt ever have considered a performance thing with it anyway. whenever i was in school chorus production musical things i was only in ensemble parts or at the very least singing with a small group of other people because i never had the ambition or desire or bravery to try and stand out lol. i liked being backstage. i started learning to rollerskate but i only ever really got to a point where i could move around without falling over and then as soon as i started capoeira i never touched the skates again. even though it was fun! i studied spanish for years and used to practice with my father but i barely ever do now, even thought i knew enough to go to spain on a school trip we still were in an english comfortable environment and i really could just fumble my way through simple conversations in spanish. i dont keep up with it enough to like, be able to smoothly translate more casual dialogue or whatever and as much as id really love to practice that more, i once again dont have the motivation or drive or even ideas for it. i have a few times thought learning portuguese for capoeira or japanese for just generic enjoyment of japanese games and anime and stuff would be cool but i do. not. stick. with. it.

i do notice lately that the other thing. next to the fear of failure motivation. it is the community thing. i do capoeira not out of fear but because there are other people i go and do it with. i pay for the classes, i enjoy the classes, i do the classes with other people. when i was in school i had other classmates doing the same things with me. when i was in tech theater or chorus clubs i had clubmates. music instrument classes i had the instructor / it was something my mother was paying for me to do / the instructor would give me homework to practice and i had to be able to report to that person the next week so i would have the incentive to do it [another failure thing i guess but still lol]. cosplay i do alone as i make it but then i see other people at cons. i hadnt done new ones in a long time tho because i wasnt going to cons, and the only one i made recently i also had the motivation and deadline of a con coming up that a friend and i were going to go to together and our cosplays connected. theres community. but right now i have no job to worry about failing at, and no coworkers to bounce ideas off of. personal projects are in such a vaccuum i just dont have the motivation or self discipline. even the udemy python thing, some lessons are more interesting than others, and it's general python stuff so rn the recent stuff is like, good dev stuff but not gamedev stuff; but i have learned enough where i probs could take it and run but i dont know how or why or what to do with it!!!

i dont know if im even making a point here i think ive just had these thoughts swirling around my mind and overwhelming me for. well kind of forever LOL

[sunset-moth]

what do domain squatters even get by putting porn on abandoned domains? like yea i'm totally gonna go "i was looking for this old blog post about TTRPGs but if the porn's right there i might as well watch it and give them all my credit card info"

like it's not even framed as shock content?? it's just "WELCOME TO GUILDMASTERSADVENTURETIPS DOT COM, WE'VE GOT THE HOTTEST SEX VIDS, HERE'S TODAY'S MOST POPULAR"

what do you get by making me see that shit? what is your problem? like. you're tricking me onto a site that isn't what i asked for, why do you think i would trust that clicking anywhere isn't going to give me 7 zillion viruses?

[blorbocedes]

let me take you guys on a journey. one that will help you understand how annoyingly obsessive and hung up my brain can get......

so here is where our wild goose chase starts. I was going through a 2012 f1 blog's nico tag. it's actually pretty rare for early 2010s blogs to have comprehensive tagging systems so whenever I find one I try to go thru it all. and I come across this v cute nico image (cropped for posterity. payoff will be worth it promise)

here we have a picture, from 2012, and in classic 2012 fashion there is meme text on it. OP of the original pic deactivated. so I want to find the version without the meme text. pretty easy, just reverse google search right?

WRONG!

google reverse search is functionally dead and defunct and absolutely dogshit.

ok back to square one. I'm trying to sus out from whatever information I have.

the other meme watermark of f1humour.tumblr.com? deactivated.

okay 37 notes. maybe I can do something with this.

tumblr kind of breaks (?) with very old posts. so even if someone tagged it, I can't see it. ok but 14 people liked it!

of the 14 accounts only 7 actually show, including mine. so what I do is I go through 6 of those blogs, and their public archives because those accounts are all inactive for several YEARS now. and I check their blogs for April 2012.

no luck.

back to the drawing board.

the meme has a MOTORSPORT.COM watermark.

here's all the information I have: this was posted on April 24th, 2012, which means that's my upper limit on the date this could be taken. Nico got in Mercedes in 2010. So from anywhere between 2010-2012 motorsport images couldve taken this pic.

so, because I was born with excessive intelligence, I think hmmm... let me search the archives of Motorsport Images dot com. surely that is where Motorsport dot com would keep their Images.

two years of a racing driver's pictures means thousands of pictures. okay. let's start from April 2012. unfortch for keen eyed listening, April 2012 was also the Chinese Grand Prix aka Nico's first f1 win.

why is that relevant? because it means every photographer and their MOTHER took a picture of nico for his first win. over 900+ images.

while I am exhibiting extremely unemployed levels of behavior here, I don't actually have the time and brain capacity to sift through 900 images.

I go back to the original tumblr post. this time I go to the empty reblogs. there's lots!

but because there's no tags it can't help me. still I go through every one of them because you can see the blog I found the pic from @the-fastest-waffle is listed in the other reblogs even though they clearly had tags!

and I find my silver lining. from @fuckyeahf1drivers's tags

just this simple. #bahrain #lol

if this picture is from bahrain 2012 it changes everything, as in it narrows my search a shit tonne.

375 images. This means 1-15 pages and I know the exact picture I'm looking for. I feel like I'm SO close. I can't give up now. gambler mentality 💎

so I guess what. I go through all 15 goddamn pages. and I DONT FIND IT!!!!!!!!! SCREEEEEECH

now I've lost hope. if it's not from bahrain 2012 then it can be from anywhere from 2010-2012 taken by motorsport.com which is just too big a search. there isn't anything I can narrow it down with. my search is futile.

but I have one tiny little thought bugging my mind. how come motorsport images don't have the motorsport.com watermark... so I consult a fellow archivist @vegasgrandprix on the matter.

WE AS A SOCIETY NEED TO ADDRESS WHY MOTORSPORT.COM AND MOTORSPORT IMAGES.COM HAVE THE SAME FONT

finally. finally

I go on motorsport.com

which is actually kind of not super user friendly interface finding their pics if you have excessive intelligence like I do. I go into this knowing if the bahrain 2012 long shot is actually NOT when that picture is from, I'm fucked.

I filter and say a prayer.

and lo and behold.

salvation.

one person's singular tag of 'bahrain 2012 lol' led me down this spiral, where if it wasn't for that bit of information this would be lost forever because finding the version of the pic without the meme text is otherwise near impossible. google reverse search is no help, and f1 drivers simply get photographed way too much. reblogs + tags with context literally are a holy grail. this is what I imagine archaeologists feel like. so if you ever want someone 12 years after you've posted something to go down finding out, tag your posts accordingly (assuming tumblr survives the next decade)

so why did I do it? why did I spend hours of my life on this? cause it's fun. it's like a mystery and it itches at my skin. many times I'm not successful which is why the times I am feels so rewarding because it feels almost like detective work, finding and refinding something, overturning evidence. and I have a brain that just functions Like This.

and now for the fruit of my labour, if you guys still want to see. the picture I spent hours to find the original version of. sitting proudly at the time of posting at 9 notes 😌😌 here's what goes behind actually finding and archiving 2010s retired f1 drivers online. click below!

👇👇👇

👆👆👆

[kynimdraws]

INFO POST

Name: Kylee (they/them). 30+

A totally normal Korean American mostly known for my drawings, specifically my Pokemon nuzlocke comics. But I will talk about other things on occasion because I do have periods of being fixated on certain topics. I also am a doctor!

Interests: Pokemon, League of Legends (everything except the game lmao), Fire Emblem, Advance Wars, Animal Crossing, Mother series, Korean history/culture, character design

General FYIs: 

General inquiries/commission work/etc should be sent thru kynimdraws [at] gmail [dot] com! Tumblr messaging/asks/etc is not 100% reliable

I will not follow NSFW accounts but I am fine talking/interacting with them. There may be suggestive shitposting but I like keeping my content on the SFW side

I am VERY picky about who I follow/interact with online. Fandom content in particular is a minefield for me aka I have many things I dislike and don’t want to see, even if it might be a popular thing in media that I otherwise enjoy. Therefore, I will unfollow/block/mute liberally. There are times I accidentally block a blog bc I mistake them for bots. So if you got hit with that, just send me an ask or email me

I am very open about what I like and dislike, and none of those things are a direct attack on your sensibilities. I have never gone out of my way to directly send hate or whatever have you if I end up seeing shit I don’t like. My complaints in my little online space ain't a personal attack on you.

My ask/submission box/DMs  are open for criticisms if you have any issues you want to resolve in private. No one is perfect and I may have done ignorant shit that needs to be pointed out. I have deleted or edited posts in the past if people tell me what I did wrong. PS I get that some of my stuff may upset you, but try to act civil when pointing shit out please.

I try to tag all my things whenever I can. Again, send me a message if anything bothers you. I am all for good debate but if you send me excessive hate or threats bc I have different opinions about matters that are trivial, I will block/delete them.

If you wish to use any of my hcs, please credit me. And if you are comfortable with it, send me the works so I can check them out! Or @ me if that is easier.

---

FIRE EMBLEM FYI: Specifically for 3Houses/3Hopes because I need a separate one for this franchise specificially given how many crazy things I got due to being involved in this fanbase via my fanworks:

DO NOT try to convince me to like or tolerate Byleth/student ships, ESPECIALLY the ones with the lords (aka CIaude, Dimitri, EdeIgard). I already summarized why I don’t like FE3H Byleth ships with student chars here. While the spinoff game FEW3H has now removed that teacher/student problematic situation, the fandom keeps putting the FE3H elements into the FEW3H fanworks (i.e. remembering Byleth from “another life” trope)...so no thanks!! DO NOT SHOW ME IT!!!

As for the Byleth ships with faculty members, my response is here so don’t try to bait me about that topic either thanks.

I do not care whom you ingame S-support. 3Houses limits the dating-sim part of the game to that character, so I cannot care less about how you play the game. The main issue I have is when people treat Byleth the “character” as a legit ship material when I personally think they are a cool character ruined by fans who are too obsessed with badly executed self insert otome tropes bc they self-project super hard onto them. Just to be clear, any FE3H or FEW3H OC/Canon >>>>>>Byleth ships personally. Even Byleth-sonas that remove the teacher/student aspects are better than canon FE3H!Byleth

Please don't drag FE VA statements as some sort of “gotcha” on my opinions like this post here. IDC what other people prefer with ship shit, that’s their problem and not mine. I am not gonna bother them about it. So don’t bother ME about it.

---

Links to check out:

Myths of Unova + Episode Grey (Pkmn White/White2 Comic)

Tales of Sinnoh (Pkmn Diamond Comic)

Art Site (Portfolio)

Twitter 

Instagram 

[txttletale]

bundletober #8: nasty, brutish, and long

welcome to bundletober, the txttletale dot tumblr dot com ttrpg blogging indulgence that absolutely everyone. is talking about? yes! today i read a slightly longer game than most of the ones i've been talking about here, because, frankly, it captivated me. nasty brutish, and long, by not writing, is a game about rebellion.

what instantly drew me into this game is that 'rebellion' isn't abstract and it doesn't happen for no reason. a lot of games like to style themselvs as being 'about rebellion' or 'about revolution', with no actual desire to engage in why revolutions happen--there's an evil empire and you're fighting it because it's evil. but nasty, brutish, and long is clearly deeply invested in questions of class and economics--part of the first session asks you to consider the economic state of the nation:

and yet another part gives you a 36-item table to roll on for an inciting incident for the revolution in question:

i love this shit--well, firstly, because i love games that give you strong plot hooks, games that tell you about their world, games that imply possibilities through options rather than grabbing your lapels and telling you what possibilities are on the table in tedious monologue. but second because this shows that the game wants to tell stories about the realities of revolution, that it is founding itself in history as more than just an aesthetic.

another really cool thing that happens before you even get out of character creation is 'backgrounds' -- as part of creating your character, you select four backgrounds (professions your character has worked), which are separated by social class (another choice you make at character creation). while you can always choose, the game encourages you to roll on yet more tables and make a story from that--i've done it a few times, and it's great fun.

for example, in the course of writing this post i created geoffrey--born a rural peasant class, he was taken in under the wing of a preacher after his family died. the preacher recognizes his potential and groomed him to be his successor--when the preacher eventually passed away, geoffrey, who'd always been a confident silvertongued lad, became his rural township's pastor. however, although he was convincing, he'd never been a true believer--so while when on a pilgrimage a merchant approached him with a simple scheme, using the legal immunity afforded to pilgrims to have him smuggle contraband into the country, he happily became a smuggler. this worked out great for a while, and saw geoffrey make a very tidy sum--but after a particularly close call he realized that he needed to get the hell out of this arrangement. with the sum of his ill-gotten gains, he travelled to a city and purchased a bookstore, becoming a middle class shop owner. he happily lived out the next few decades selling books--but at heart, he missed the fire of a sermon, having the ear of a crowd, so in his late years he passed his shop on to his son and became an elderly teacher, bringing literacy to the village of his youth.

this is exactly the kind of thing i fucking love about tabletop roleplaying games, the feeling that the game is chiming in with me as i try to tell a story, throwing me these weird curveballs i have to 'yes, and!' to create a backstory i'd never have thought of on a million years on my own. something else worth noting is that character creation is very open for a forged in the dark game -- you're unlkely to even have the same set of attributes as someone else, and you can pick backgrounds and abilities (mostly) totally independent of one another or any overarching playbook-type restriction.

the game itself diverges from blades in a lot of interesting ways. instead of blades' system of looking for the highest die, nasty, brutish, and long operates on a die pool system, which is what allows for it to add a large pile of levers for influencing rolls, including using multiple attributes for the same roll--there seems to be some OSR influence in here, with the open-endedness of the actual moment to moment gameplay and the vast amount of opportunities to use and exchange in-game resources. that said, unlike OSR stuff, there's a lot of effort being put in here to hand narrative control to players. instead of just saying 'you succeed' on a success, it says, 'the PC narrates what happens' which is a really cool spin on the usual success/mixed success/failure trifecta. players also get the ability to make up NPCs by expending resources, which is super cool.

other highlights include a take on burning wheel's drives system, a weird version of blades' resist mechanic that lets you change, rather than avert, the consequence your character faces, and a take on 'downtime' that frames it as more of a timeskip, during which years can pass. it's pretty cool stuff.

oh, and finally--the fucking style of this game is incredible. it does a lot with very little colour--a few splashes of dark red here and there is all it needs to complement its striking black and white, rich sense of texture, and

if there's one thing i don't like about nasty, brutish, and long, it's that it doesn't have any strong ideas about what the players need to be doing. the game establishes social turmoil and brewing revolution, makes a huge point of social class and class differences, but the verbs, the substance of what your player characters do, is deliberately left totally open. and that's cool for some people, some people like that openness a lot! but for me, who appreciates a tight and specific design, it doesn't do much. the tagline says its 'an game about class and revolution'--and i'm not sure i can fully agree with that. it'd be more accurate to call it a game 'containing class and revolution'. which is a step up from a lot of games that claim to be revolutionary, as i said before--but at the end of the day leaves me feeling like something's been left on the table.

still, there's a huge amount here worth checking out--even if you don't intend on playing it, it's a great look into the different directions you can take the forged in the dark framework, and a great tool for Making Up Guys. can't go wrong with making up a guy!

nasty, brutish, and long can be purchased as a digital download through itch.io

[bad-mixed-lib-dyke]

Read This First

So... clearly I'm going through something

I can not stress this enough, if you are under 18:

GO ON, GIT, GET OUTTA HERE

I'm just someone out here fetishizing their trauma

I'm 32, mixed, AFAB, probably TransMasc but gender is hard, She/Her is fine.

Out on the streets, I'm about as liberal as they come. But in these Tumblr sheets... well... I'm working through some shit lmfao

Likely to find topics such as:

misogyny 〰 patriarchy 〰 detrans 〰 corrective NC

Ya know... everything I'm not

IF ANY OF THIS IS ON YOUR DNI AND I REPOSTED FROM YOU

Then I reposted from somewhere other than your blog, it was unintentional, I'm sorry! please message me with the post and I will gladly remove it!

I don't like intense violence/degradation. Punching and kicking? You've lost me. "stupid fleshlight cumrag"? Absolutely the fuck not.

And I think hypno spirals and sounds are usually boring

More about the coercion and mental stuff

That being said: My DMs are currently open

Do not call me cunt at all. Do not open with anything like bitch, dummy, or whore as a name.

If there is something specific I posted that's inspired you, best to open the message with the post so we can be on the same page.

If you message me wanting to RP you better be able to

~*write*~

I can have pretty low patience for things easily found in porn (if you can easily find it, you should do that, you don't need me).

No images without obtained consent.

Can't think of anything else... if you continue after reading this, then welcome, dirty, dirty degenerates of Tumblr dot com

[strawbxttries]

Intro!!

i really wanna make moots y’all so here’s a little intro abt me!!

—> you can call me beth or ina

—> she/her!!

—> im 16!! ‘08 baby turning 17 on april

—> fav artists: my chemical romance, laufey <3, fall out boy, pierce the veil, p!atd, mitski, chappell roan, the living tombstone, ayesha erotica, twenty one pilots (+ im slowly getting into green day)

—> current fav song (updated timely):

my interests:

—> comics: x-men (maximoff twins<3), deadpool, supersons, the flash, daredevil, BLUE BEETLE <3333, killjoys cali, batman beyond

—> movies/shows: hannibal, bbc sherlock, bbc merlin, the kingsmen, the menu, captain america trilogy, cw flash, bullet train, transformers, good omens, sandman

—> games: valorant, overwatch, minecraft, telltale batman <33

—> musicals: heathers, hamilton, phantom of the opera, anastasia, the great gatsby

a little bit more about me!

—> i’m an art student!

—> i play the piano + i’m learning the bass

—> i loooveee reading books. like a lot. & i love to write

—> i collect superhero actions figures & im trying to collect vinyls

—> i have a weird obsession with macarons, tiramisu, and strawberries

in this blog i’m just going to shit post about my different interests, & rn it’s bandom! but expect posts from so many different fandoms bc i’m in js too many rn >.< i’ll also post some updates abt my life ig

BASIC BOUNDARIES: just don’t be weird. i’m okay with a bit of rpf shipping but don’t take it too seriously bc it’s all just for sillies. remember they’re real people, have just a shred of respect. proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, islamiphobes, pedos DNI!!!

i’m looking for moots & friends w the same interests!! so just hmu or dm me whenever!!

ART ASKS ARE OPEN PLEASE REQ ME TO DRAW IM BOREDDDD

[idsb]

hi im new here can you give a brief rundown of like you lol?? where youve lived, jobs, partners, interests, give me the idsb lore please!!!!!

hi!! sure, I have a lot of new followers and I was just thinking the other day abt this and how my blog is like 70/30 my personal life v Taylor so that must be confusing for new people. so yes! here's the spark notes:

My name is Holly and I just turned 28! I grew up outside of Boston and lived in NYC for ~10 years after I went to art school there. I dropped out of college after one semester to pursue my actual dream of touring with artists. After I dropped out I spent a while willingly homeless in NYC so that I could establish myself & my career there. Eventually it worked & I had been doing freelance photography, videography, graphic design and merch sales as steady income since ~2017. I was in a 5 year, emotionally abusive relationship with my high school sweetheart and finally ended it in 2018. A bit after this, I went to Australia for the first time with my then-friend now-boyfriend (Nov 2018). I've been obsessed with Australia since I was like 5 years old and it was an incredible adventure. I spent about 3 weeks there alone without then-friend, and during those 3 weeks met a Man. The last night we spent in Australia on this trip was Christmas Eve, and said man invited me to have an outdoor Love Actually screening and have a wine picnic with him and all his friends. it was one of the best nights of my life. We hooked up and he singlehandedly cured some sex-related fears I had from the previous relationship and I couldn't stop thinking about it for months. Back in America (Jan 2019) I entered my hoe phase in a never-ending quest for validation and slept with every guitarist I'd ever worked with while meanwhile having a big mental breakdown. Enter a John Mayer vibing man we called the Guitarist here, and a lot of Bad Shit he did to me in his own validation quest mental breakdown (May-August 2019). Clearly my only choice was to fly back to Australia to see the other guy! And I did (September 2019)! Then I was mega depresso when I went home bc my life felt hopeless & I'd already lived out all the hope it had going for it :) I continued my hoe phase and chronicled it via Spice Nights where I’d just answer nsfw asks and give advice for like 8 hours straight. This is waxing over it but it was chaotic and I cannot understate the Depression (Feb 2020).

Then the pandemic happened whomp whomp. I lost all my gigs and posted about it on Tumblr dot com, this blog gained a very large following sort of bc of being a Taylor blog and sort of bc of live-blogging all the drama. ms Taylor Swift saw it and she sent me $3,000 to cover my rent for all of lockdown. a lot happened as a result of that but in the end I realized it was not smart to stay in NYC and spent summer 2020 roadtripping around the US with my then-friend who had first come to Australia with me, who had since joined the leagues of guitar-playing-employer-i-was-sleeping-with (there were 4 in total but I was in loveeeeee w this one). Big Cruel Summer vibes. my friend group exploded partially as a result of my behavior and partially bc they were cunts who didn't care about John Mayer vibe man manipulating me. So then I said fuck it and moved to Montana to work in a national park w guitar guy I Actually Loved who had become my boyfriend at that point, and we lived there until winter 2021. Then I started touring again, got insanely successful, was making more money than most people I knew with salaried jobs and booking work all over the world, my relationship ended over some drama I found out about way after the fact but then we got back together & moved in together (May 2023). Going great. Then I got so fucking burnt out from my job I was like stop the presses I am fucking off to Australia I can't do the music industry and the mega late-stage capitalism anymore. so now I live in Melbourne and am a bartender at a fancy cocktail bar and my relationship is sort of a LDR but I’m going home soon maybe(?) and that is what you missed on Glee!!!!

[hamelinsnightmare]

hello! i'd like to start a stimboard blog, but i have not a clue where to find resources/how to format/etc. do you have any tips/resources on how to start a stimboard blog? itd be appreciated, thank you in advance <3

how to make stim blog & stims: informal guide by hammy

1- its best to use desktop instead of mobile tumblr. while you can technically do it on mobile, i wouldnt recommend it because mobile tumblr breaks format often.

2- when making your own gifs, it is recommended to make your gifs in a 1:1 ratio format, so basically a square (100x100 ratio).

3- if you are using other peoples gifs, always remember to keep track of whose gifs you are using and properly credit to the best of your ability. i usually start my posts in my drafts and then use my likes to keep track of what gifs i use, but you can also save drafts with them and stuff to not lose them. link to the direct post, do not just @ the blog, thats the best way to credit but as long as you make a conscious effort to credit its not a big deal

4- format wise its up to you man its your blog and you get to do what you want, but i will say that when crediting the way i do with emojis or Xs or whatnot, it is better to have a space between each item so that on tumblr mobile it doesnt merge the links or break the credits

(good: x x x / x x x , bad: xxx / xxx)

5- tags, how you handle requests, dni, etc are all up to you, whatever works best for you. but please keep in mind that you should probably tag triggers if making any sensitive content or marking it with tumblr's new mature content labels and stuff, though trigger tagging might be better bc the content labels tumblr has might hide your post from people who unknowingly have the "do not show posts" enabled

6- ezgif dot com is your friend. i dont have photoshop or anything so i basically live off of it lol. btw, might want to have an adblocker for it though since some of the ads can take up too much space

7- ?????? i think thats it, im pretty tired ngl

I do appreciate you coming to me and asking about it, it means I must be doing something right /lh

EDIT: I almost forgot! tumblr does weird shit to gifs on here so if you are using someone elses gifs, how to download them properly: right click + open image in new tab, the end of the url will be ".gifv", get rid of the v in the url (".gif") and then press enter to refresh the page. THEN you save that image. otherwise it will be in garbage webp unusable shit

[salted-caramel-tea]

What are your thoughts about?

I was gonna try and collect my thoughts coherently before I started talking bu ti cant be bothered doing that so like. about the dream and that one circle of mcyt that just fucking hate them .

actually this is about how I have felt observing the dream space recently.

im uncomfortable?? not with the dream team, I still really love them and I enjoy their content and I do still watch sap naps streams if im awake for them but honestly taking time just to spend time on my f1 blog has been like a weight lifted from my shoulders.

just talking about dtblr, ive seen people trying to make the best of the situation by live-blogging sapnaps streams making jokes spreading positivity for all 3 of them but it doesn't really of much to take away from the pressure of the situation. Every day it seems like some cc somewhere has something to say about dream or George or sapnap and every day we rush over here to discuss it. it almost feels like theres this pressure to perform and to respond to what is being said, we need to discuss everything as a controversy no matter how stupid or insignificant the situation is and we contribute to the snowballing of tiny things that honestly dont need the attention the theyre getting and its tiring to watch. like im at the point where im scrolling past 'did you see what x said' because honestly I dont give a shit I dont give a shit about a cc who spoke to the dteam on discord maybe twice talking about their 'truth' I really dont care .

im genuinely just fed up with the way the creator space and fan spaces behave. Dream posts 'pls talk to me' and creators say 'but that won't get me clout' back to him.

who gives a shit if dreams stole punz girlfriend. who cares if dream sent a dm that might have been considered rude to Sara Simons a fully grown ducking middle aged woman with better things to do than start twitter drama. who gives a shit about sniff having one insignificant negative interaction with dream over a year. none f this is your fucking turret its just airing out high school level petty drama that could easily be fixed with a fucking dm . its pathetic. the way so many creators are going 'I too am a victim' and its 'he sent me a private message I didnt like' who fucking cares. and all of this 'ill stream explaining my story' what story. that he made a joke in bad taste. its performative. they want views they want twitters support they want to seem like theyre on the RIGHT side so theyre just pulling any old story out of their ass to add to the mentality of the mob and make it seem like yes I too hate dream because he is so awful when in reality he was probably just a bit of a twat like a lot of guys in their early 20s are . the only way hes gonna know that he did something that made u annoyed or upset or even mildly fucking miffed in the case of Sara fucking Simons is if you tell him. and we saw that bc 5 mins later shes saying oh its all fine he messaged me . see how fucking easy it is to actually fix these tiny ass issues if you actually have a conversation before launching a hate campaign on twitter dot com . and people going off to run with it and add it to the pile of 'poof' they have. hell ive seen someone saying they appreciate dream saying they want to talk about situations and saying they want to chat with him about an experience they had with one of his friends like what does that have to do with dream actually why not just take the initiative and talk to the actual person involved instead of making dream do it for u. its all just drama mongering

on a more serious note I really dont know how to feel with the whole situation with caiti. George didi fuck up and im not moving from that stance- whatever happened he made her feel uncomfortable and went on the defence instead of prioritising apologising to her for the way she felt about the situation.

what I cat fucking stand is how weirdly this situation has evolved. the initial statement was that he had touched her waist and tickled her and cat didnt like that. THAT CONTACT the touching of her waist was spread across twitter as a sexual assault. which its fucking not and it pisses me off as a victim to see how loosely terms of sex crime are being thrown around bc no matter how uncomfy you are touching your waist is not a sex crime. there was no mention of inappropriate touching actually, just that he had crossed a physical boundary with her and ive already talked about why I can empathise with that delayed reaction in feeling deeply uncomfortable with the situation . so it confused me as to why people on tiktok were spreading misinformation that his hands were down her pants and cat coming out of left field with he was grabbing my tits. because none of that was ever discussed in any of her prior statement and that seems like pertinent information when were discussing sexual assault. and from what ive seen her friends timeline of events dont match up with hers. her timeline of events onset even match up that well with her other comments on the situation and all of it just feels so fucking odd. why do the details change depending on who you ask and when you ask them

but I wasn't there. I dont know what actually happened. having experienced it you automatically hold that understanding towards her despite all the backlash because people blamed me too, they didnt believe me either and you never want to completely dismiss it no matter how weird the story seems because what if. keeping myself in the situation is stretching myself in two different directions where one is dismissing the claims of assault because nothing adds up and the other is she might be like me .

the reaction to caitis initial statement has snowballed extremely out of proportion if u ask me. nobody needs to know everyones personal grievances with dream or George or sapnap and to say that youre sharing these to support victims is a straight lie bc it has nothing to do with victims they receive nothing from your story that he made a bad joke 3 years ago or whatever and everything to do with the fact that you are utilising an opportunity to gain relevancy again and I dont want to partake in their relevancy.

I dont want to partake in any of this fucking drama actually. it's non stop. it's constant. its all over my dash all day every day but maybe its just the ppl im following idc. but I dont want to come back into a community where im going to find myself fighting to justify why I still enjoy the content of some creators while there are other creators receiving less vitriol for breaking the literal fucking law . its exhausting . its been years of it for me .

im not mentally well. I have a lot going on in my family life and I didnt realise how bad things were until I told my work friend I hadn't seen in a while my 'family drama' and she and the assistant manager pulled me aside and said 'im so sorry youre going through that right now are you dealing with everything alright?'. I have my final exams within the next month. I need to pass these to graduate. I have so much that is already causing me stress in my life and so much of the misinformation around the situation is so triggering and untagged and I dont want to log on and see another bout of 'x responds to x' 'x talks about dream' 'x shares thoughts on George situation' . I cant fucking do that right now.

people have called it the cowards way out, bailing at the burden of controversy but im not switching sides. im not deactivating. im not becoming a dranti. I still talk about the dteam i still like the dteam but I cannot force myself to endure other peoples stresses at the time being . thats all ive been thinking about rlly .

[t-pose-to-assert-gayness]

Twitter migrants checklist:

Put a profile pic on your account. people will think youre a bot and block you on sight. (avoid using a pic of a hot woman bc only the porn bots use those.)

This isnt twitter. reblog shit. worried about your blog's aesthetic or whatever? MAKE A SIDEBLOG. Keep your shit organised, or not. i dont care, just reblog stuff. This website circulates posts from 10-15 years ago on the regular. it's normal.

Don't try and become a meme page. This is tumblr, not instagram. You'll be laughed off the site.

Remember to reblog things. looking at you, Lauren.

Don't ever look at the replies on a political post. There will always be people with no critical thinking skills in the political posts, just like real life.

Add a bio to your blog, especially if you plan on interacting with adult content on tumblr. Lots of artists and creators regularly cull followers with no age in their bio for their own safety.

reblog things. im not telling you again. reblogging things is like churning out hot nutrient rich sludge into the ocean for everyone to nibble on and enjoy

if it's not fucking hilarious, leave your comments in the TAGS of a post. tumblr etiquette 101. If you leave your comments in the reblog itself, everyone will think youre an old man who has never used the internet before.

we talk about killing people here. its fun. we enjoy talking about how we wanna kill billionaires. so d0n/t g0 ar0u/d t4lk in//g li//ke thi$ or I'll appear inside your home and shove my whole foot in your mouth while you sleep. And i'm a size 11. You dont want that. Speak normal. This ain't tiktok, mary.

#7 was a lie. The reblog button. kiss it on the mouth. love it. marry it. press it. if all you do is like things on tumblr dot com, then you may as well have no account at all. I'm 100% serious. reblogs mean everything. There is no [meaningful] algorithm [that anyone uses] on tumblr. reblogging is the only way for artists work to be shared around. Help them out. it costs nothing. REBLOG A DAMN POST.

[kwonzoshi]

“I’m a Dom, you can’t respect me then you don’t get to us the nonnie ask. Period.”

Ohhh Luta... you absolute fucking wanker.

This is TUMBLR DOT COM, not your sex dungeon. You don’t get to use your “dom” card on people without their consent, and trying to do so because you’re being held accountable for the wild comparisons you were making, is weirdo behavior. 

How you can use your blog and your reach so IRRESPONSIBLY is astonishing. You sit on this weird high horse and for what? You think that posting long “articulated” posts means that people don’t get to call you out when you say outta pocket/insensitive shit? Cause you are INCORRECT, my darling.

And to the people messaging this cunt talking about some “don’t let the hate get to you”... y’all realize your lil “dom” friend (who instead of using that “dom mentality” to accept she was wrong and LEARN, just blocked people like the submissive little bitch she actually is) was comparing Build’s situation with the HOLOCAUST?! Comparing it to one of the most tragic cases of racism in this country?!

If you’re going to be ANYTHING in this world, be fucking serious. 

I am trying my HARDEST to be civli, I really am but I am ANGRY. How dare you sit here and act like what you said was, not only incorrect, but COMPLETELY insensitive to the communities affected by these horrible vile things. Build, a known woman hater, being accused of hurting a woman IN NO WAY compares to Emmett Till being murdered. This situation is not comparable to the Holocaust AKA the LITERAL ATTEMPTED GENOCIDE of Jewish people. 

You are WAY too old to act this willfully ignorant. WAY. TOO. OLD. 

[biillys]

🔥ask game🔥 for Stranger Things

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

hello ily thanku 🥺🥺

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

well every time something's happening it's always the bylers or the steddies making noise. the harringrove gang can def be annoying too but something about the way the others think theyre like. morally correct for their ship etc is just like. give me a fucking break. ur litereally on tumblr dot com. wait actually not a ship technically but the people that are obsessed with the fruity four. literally shut uppppppp

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about?

feel like most of my opinons aren't common enough to weigh in here so idk? billy would never settle for steve fucking harrington? HEATHER would never settle for robin!!!!!! billy and max's relationship is COMPLICATED and the duffers did not get to/try to examine and show that in their limited screentime. so all the idiots that are obsessed with saying max hated billy/was happy he died, read the fucking room!!!!

11. number of fandom related words you have blocked?

lol

usually i don't blacklist things cos usually i'm chill but my dash had so much of them and i found myself like. getting actively annoyed everytime they were on my screen. so i started with blocking steve and was like wow. it's so nice here now that he's gone. lets see if i can make it even better.

unfortunate side effect of this is that i barely see any billy content now cos he's unfortunately linked hand in hand with the others. i miss him so much. it's okay tho cos i can cry into ur inbox about him and send my friend 25 minute audios about him and i made another billy sideblog thats locked that i can post headcanons and fic-ish things on so!!! it's fun still!!!! i may post on this blog like once in a blue moon but he's literally on my mind 24 hours a day. has been for almost five years now.

18. it's absolutely criminal that this fandom has been sleeping on...

six feet under crew. billy, heather, chrissy, and eddie all died. max i'm pretty sure technically died so she's an honourary member. yeah i know others died too but anyway. ANYWAY i think they deserve to have fun and start shit together yknow!!!! i think they'd all fuck each others lives up but also be there to help pick up the pieces!!!! stopping myself here becos otherwise i will not shut up. wait also just max, chrissy, and heather...... el too if we're feeling giving. i just think they'd have fun together!!!!!

WAIT ALSO tommy and carol. BRING 'EM BACK. the trio of billy, eddie, and tommy? but also ALSO the nightmare that would be max, heather, chrissy, and carol.

the idea of billy and max living at the trailer park and neil and susan fucking off? maybe susan stays? idk but just the idea of everyone coming to chill at their trailer or going between theirs and eddies, even though their trailers can absolutely not fit that many people??? friday nights getting fucked up and faded. making terrible life decisions. making permanent life decisions. no i need to shut up now....... fuck.... spending the hours between 11pm and 2am trying to nail down a tattoo design before struggling through work for the weekend, complaining about their bosses, making fucking disasters in the kitchen, carol and tommy surprisingly being the only decent cooks, max having a knack for baking. trying to plan concert trips, talking about how differnt their lives would be if they had went to go to college instead. bingewatching terrrible television. semi decent box-dye jobs. terrible at-home haircut jobs. high school spitting them out and them trying to find their feet in the real world, them all getting full time jobs and trying to like. fucking survive. find a reason to get through the fucking weeks. SHUTTING UP NOW i swear.

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

idk if i would say i'm ashamed or horrified or anything?? but idk i like dark fic/dead dove fic so like. that one w billy and the demodog? a fav. also i fucking love age gap so i would easily read billy/karen if it was out there. it is not. i've checked. wait forgot max/billy is usually frowned upon. read that easily too.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped?

i dont know a single person hyping up stranger things or it's plot lines/story arc's? fruity four i guess cos after season four that amount of ppl that made that a Thing? crazy.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing?

'how does billy have fans he literally deserved to die becos [usual list of reasons here]' banging my head against a wall. move on with ur life. everyone else has.

'[insert harringrove hate here]' when ppl post rancid takes on them and then i have to defend it even when i don't care for it like. please. did u not see the shower scene? the basketball scene? the fight scene??? open ur eyes. i may be a hater but i'm not stupid. they fucked for real i'll admit that. the worse the take is the more i'm like damn maybe i do ship them maybe they ARE gay as shit for each other and married right now.

[daenerysstormreborn]

Hi @lawonderlandwriter

I can’t reply because this is side blog. Question: did you read my post? Did you read the response I gave to someone’s thoughtful reply full of good information I didn’t know? Have you looked at my blog? My Daenerys themed blog that’s existed for months in which I am unabashedly a Dany fan? You may notice that I am a Jonerys shipper who hates the way their romance played out. You may notice that I don’t like Jonsa. You may notice my posts criticizing a lot of bullshit anti-Dany talking points.

This is me. Five years ago. With my $400+ costume tailored to fit me, with my $100+ lace front wig, with my $100+ custom-made 3D printed chain. I was a show only for a long time and hated the way it ended but resisted reading the books because the things that happened to Dany were so horrible and I loved her so much I didn’t want to read them in a more detailed perspective. I only changed my mind because HotD re-invigorated my interest in the series and my mental health is better now so I thought I could handle it. I loved the books so much more than the show that the I had to make a tumblr blog about it. And I chose to make it Daenerys themed.

This is also me. 6 years ago. Trying to painstakingly recreate a Daenerys-like hairstyle in my hair (which is hard when you have a normal human amount of hair and not a Hollywood wig).

Here’s me again, 4 years ago. And how about this album of images from the past few weeks that I’ve generated using an AI app of myself as Daenerys, for no reason other than that I love her and relate to her and like to see myself as her?

This is a considerable amount of devotion across many years for a fake Daenerys fan. And for what? To what end? To rile people up on tumblr dot com? Does that make sense? That I’d make tons of posts defending Daenerys and funnel hundreds of dollars into cosplay and maintain a Daenerys themed blog just …because? I am a PhD student who just finished my Master’s. I do not have time to host a performative fan blog for shits and giggles. Not did I have the foresight to start my performance offline six years ago just so I could infiltrate the ranks of Daenerys fans online.

Seriously. Read my post. Read my response to the reblog on my post. And consider that “I love this character and don’t want her to be a villain but have trouble believing that such a big change in her character could have just been an invention of the showrunners” is not a hateful stance. Someone else pointed out that the Starks and Lannisters are also called threats and if you have a look, you’ll see that I think that’s a great point and respond with gratitude and intrigue when the information is presented without hostility. If you bother to check, you’ll also see that I have walked back my stance and now find it much more believable that D&D invented villain Dany because I have been given new information. Of course, you aren’t required to check the notes of a post to see things like this before engaging. But when you’re going to accuse them of being a fake fan and meet them with hostility, you really, really should do a bit more investigation first.

When you reply to a post, you are directly engaging with another human being. If I had made a brief hateful post, things would be different and I wouldn’t have a right to be snappy about it. But you came onto a thoughtful post about the character my blog is themed after and decided to be rude instead of considering what I had to say and giving me the benefit of the doubt, and I can’t abide by that.

[numetaljackdog]

sos

my number one skill is never shutting the fuck up ever and indeed in many circumstances it's more of a curse than a blessing because i genuinely can't control it for the most part but it does come in handy including throughout the entirety of my academic experience as well as just about every desk job i've ever had because it means i can fill a lot of space with a vast quantity of words that scan with a great deal of clarity and cohesion despite ultimately saying very little over the course of that volume. the result of this is that those who are reviewing my writing, which are usually people with varying degrees of power over my continued success, scan the content i've generated and deem it to be of high quality because everything seems well-thought out and competently composed and so they give it an instant pass, at least as long as they aren't paying too much attention, which - spoiler alert! - pretty much nobody ever is. they've all got their own shit to worry about, things that matter far more to them than whether or not you ended a sentence with a preposition in your 10-page report for a course that they're already sick of. now, what i did just there was a little trick where i actually violated my own natural cadence and patterns of writing in order to include a little gag! in the sentence where i mention the concept of ending a sentence with a preposition, i did just that; the sentence ended with "of." but for me, i normally would have phrased that sentence as follows: "they've all got their own shit to worry about, things that matter far more to them than whether or not you ended a sentence with a preposition in your 10-page report for a course that they're already sick of teaching." if this were actually a report with a word count minimum, obviously i would include that final word at the end of the sentence, because getting all cute and meta with the way i phrase things isn't worth losing that extra word of length. but in projects where the minimum requirements are more lax, i find it's helpful for my motivation to allow myself to have a little bit of genuine fun with it and liven the place up some. of course, that only applies if you're like me and you're a massive nerd who has fun doing that sort of thing, but i would say that there's a pretty decent chance that is true about you, seeing as how you're on tumblr dot com, a website that has an observably quite high population of huge nerds, and also you're presumably following me, which means you've identified with my nerd self enough to choose to see more of my blog. for what it's worth to you, my external keyboard seemingly ran out of battery several sentences ago, which is really kind of funny when you think about it. what an ironic time for that to happen, as i'm discussing and demonstrating my ability to type forever and ever! this is the first time i've had the battery in this keyboard die, so it must have had fresh ones in at the time i got it. i wouldn't know for sure, because i got it secondhand from someone i know who was clearing out some old inventory from their workplace's office building. that's where i got my big external monitor, as well. i really like tech appliances but honestly i really don't know much about them, that was never my area of expertise. as is likely obvious from this post alone, my passions have always remained more with the humanities. good god i have to stop now before i give you my whole fucking autobiography but i think by now i've sufficiently proven my point - i could easily do this until the end of time.

i have to create a new block now because of tumblr's character-per-block limitation. the one last thing i'll tell you is that, since i'm now typing on my laptop's keyboard which is at a somewhat awkward angle from me, my wrists are in danger of mucking with the trackpad, and just a few moments ago i accidentally selected the entire wall of text i've typed here and replaced it with what i was continuing to type. so thank goodness for the tumblr post editor's ability to undo, or else nobody ever would have seen this very intellectual and not at all frivolous and annoying post that i've generated here. if you actually read all of this, you're a huge freak and i'm proposing to you right now.