#but not being able to admit to it bc it's too many emotions and hard realities to face so it's easier to act like it was fine/inevitable

[toastsnaffler]

was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

[romericas]

having thoughts about Arthur, Francis, and Antonio being relatively young teenagers when they start colonizing the world, like Antonio only being around 15 or so physically, Francis somewhere around the same, and Arthur only being like 13. this is not a "feel bad for the colonizers because they were babies UwU" this is a "being an adolescent and believing wholeheartedly that you are correct in your perceptions of the world and those around you and being encouraged by the adults in your government, but still not being mentally old enough to understand the full weight of your actions and then later refusing to acknowledge the full realities of the atrocities you committed at such a young age and the tragedy of that because it's hard"

I'm talking about thirteen-year-old Arthur deciding he's mature enough to take care of a literal child and is startled by how much he's forced to physically and emotionally grow up in the process of trying to raise Alfred only to watch him later follow in Arthur's imperialist footsteps. I'm talking about Francis being a shitty and distant parental figure to Matthew because he was too immature for the responsibility, shedding it at the first opportunity and still not understanding the full extent of the harm he's caused as an adult. Antonio taking on more and more kids because he likes having people who look up to him and don't call him on his shitty actions, who are little enough that he can just ignore them if/when they do and say things that he doesn't like, pretending that he's being a perfect parent to feed his ego and letting the fact that parenting is difficult excuse his shitty actions so he doesn't have to think about them too hard

like also imagine how it changes the dynamic during the revolutionary war if Arthur is barely 18, still a teenager in most regards himself, fighting against a physically 13 year old Alfred and the amount of cognitive dissonance happening for him to say that Alfred isn't old enough to be independent, when he himself was trying to raise a child at the same developmental age

just them being young and thinking that they're doing terrible things because it's all for the right reasons and not knowing how to confront that as adult, especially when faced with their adult children who reflect all their actions back at them

[hannieehaee]

luna, my beloved,

can i get a very down bad (and also very horny) woozi, please?? he just gives me the vibes of a very obsessed boyfie when he's truly in love.

also, i love your works so much!!!! ♡♡♡

18+ / mdi

content: simp!jihoon, established relationship, afab reader, smut, dry humping, very fluffy, jihoon is insanely in love with reader its disgusting, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, etc.

wc: 2157

a/n: thank u so much!! <3 i rewrote this four times bc way too many scenarios of woozi being down bad plagued my brain (still do), so i hope u enjoy what i came up with <3

masterlist

even after months, jihoon was unable to understand this weird feeling in his chest. one that he only ever got when he was around you (and on occasion whenever he thought about you). it was some sort of inexplicable heaviness. the beating of his heart would speed up and it would feel as if time slowed down. every touch and every breath felt like a sensible decision, and his thoughts would turn into static.

sometimes it was just in the background. sometimes he'd hold your hand or listen to you rant about your day and still be able to act as a functioning human. but there were times in which it simply overtook him.

he had had relationships before; both physical and not, but he had never experienced this feeling before. jihoon was unsure whether or not he liked it. it made him feel weak, but also made him feel more.

there were instances in which this feeling would be accompanied by lust. one accidental peak of a sliver of skin of your thigh and his lips would go completely dry. one grace of your hand a little too close to a sensitive part of his body and his knees would buckle. he was unsure if you knew about how easily it was for you to get him ready to plea for even one touch, but the truth was that it didnt matter. there was no space in his empty head to think about it in those moments.

truth was, jihoon was insanely enamored by you. some (soonyoung) would call him 'down bad' for you, but jihoon liked his term better. being enamored entailed that jihoon adored everything about you, with the pleasure you gave him included among those things. though there were times in which his lust simply grew so big that jihoon could admit to simply being down bad horrendously for you.

currently, that feeling in his chest was ever so present, and he knew that his lust was just about to take over. nothing had yet happened, but still, he felt a desperation that brought a crimson color to his ears. just looking at you as you slept beside him had him holding in a whine of your name.

to be fair, you looked angelic in this moment. you were facing him – although your face was almost completely pressed up against your pillow. your arms were wrapped around your chest in front of you, causing your breasts to press up together in the form of soft mounds peeking from under your tank top. your blanket was covering most of your body but still gave him sight of some of your shoulder. your hair was covering most of your features yet he could still rejoice in your mushed up face as you seemingly made yourself as small as possible. soft breaths coming from you were the only thing he could hear. his senses were all overtaken by you, even as he leaned down and quietly smelled the floral scent from your shampoo.

the beating of his heart was so loud he was sure it ran the risk of waking you up.

it's not that he was nervous, he was simply too caught up in you. every emotion you ever made him feel was making its way to the surface, causing his hands to clam up and his lips to run dry. he wanted to touch you so badly, but he knew that the moment he did, he would fall to his undeniable lust for you. it was hard for him to simply adore you from a distance, as his carnal feelings for you would always take over somehow.

however, his need for you won, making an embarrassing side of himself take over and pull you closer to him in order to wake you up un the softest way he could. he began to pepper kisses on the nude sliver of skin your shoulder offered him, breathing heavily as he prepared himself for what he knew would come as soon as you arose from slumber.

it was only a few moments later in which you began waking up, murmuring his name in that soft morning voice he loved so much.

he hadn't mean to sound so desperate that soon, but the moment he felt you begin to arch against his hold, – encouraging him to keep kissing any available skin – he couldnt help his pleas to let him have you in a way he relished in knowing only he had the privilege of having you.

"a– angel, please ... need you so bad ..." were the first words out of his mouth, murmured against your neck as his hands rubbed at your hips through the blanket.

"hoonie? what's wrong?", you were clearly still half asleep, only taking in his touches but not computing the words he was saying. but it was fine. he could be more specific if need be.

"you're so soft ... so pretty. can i have you, angel? please?" he didnt care how desperate his first words to you that morning sounded. he never felt any shame in showing you just how badly he always wanted you.

"oh, hoonie ...", you breathed, removing the blanket from the way and pressing yourself even closer to him.

the two of you were now curled up against each other with no distance between your bodies as you faced one another. with your lack of clothing, – him in just boxers and you in a tiny tank top and booty shorts to match – jihoon was now able to feel you up as he wanted; something which he took advantage of immediately.

he finally disconnected his lips from your skin, now making eye contact at the close proximity between you. however, before even being able to express his want for you once more, his lust won over him again, making him press his lips against yours with urgency.

he moaned and whined against your lips, his hips searching for yours as he positioned himself above you. there was no way for him to help himself. you were just so soft and pretty and beautiful and perfect. nothing couldve possibly interrupted that cloud of lust that was taking over him.

jihoon still had trouble processing how such a pretty girl could ever be his. he knew he was in love with you since the day he met you. just from a first glance, he thought you the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. speaking to you as acquaintances had been hard, but befriending you had been the biggest challenge. even back then, his feelings for you manifested in very noticeable ways. all his friends would mock him for the way he'd stumble over his words or stare at you a little too much. luckily for him, this did not last long. by some grand act of god, you had found some sort of liking towards him, giving him various obvious openings for him to finally ask you out (and admittedly, it took a lot of silent encouragement from you to get him to finally act up).

upon starting your relationship, it didnt take long for jihoon to make his adoration for you known, constantly letting you know how perfect he found you in any and every capacity. all his defenses would go down when he was around you, causing him to wax poetic whenever his emotions took over him – not to mention the endless files of love songs he had produced since meeting you. anything you desired, he would deliver just for the promise of your happiness.

your relationship had him thinking that maybe his past self suffered a grand deal in a past life; just enough for karmic retribution to grant him the girl of his dreams in the next.

and that's how he felt at this moment, grinding his clothed cock against your cunt as you whined into his mouth. could life get better than this? better than having the love of his life mewling into his mouth as he carelessly canted his cock into the warm heaven between your legs? he couldnt help but groan at the reminder than you were all his, and that he had access to every inch of your breathtaking body for his and your pleasure.

"fuck ... wanna fuck you, but you feel so fucking good like this– shit ..."

"dont stop ... i can cum like this. promise!", you cried whilst pulling at his hair, assuring his mouth stayed glued to yours.

as much as he wanted to keep letting you lick into his mouth and pulling at his hair, he was craving the two mounds that were pressing up against his chest. without further thinking, he disconnected your lips, groaning at the way you tried to chase his lips before hearing you whine once again due to his rushed removal of your top and the feeling of his tongue toying with your tit.

he practically devoured your tits, licking and nipping at every inch of them before using the tip of his tongue to play with your nipples. the way you cried his name had him losing his inhibitions, making him grind even harder and faster against you. your gorgeous and warm cunt was the only thing in his mind.

despite wanting to give you an orgasm just like this, he needed more. he needed your cunt strangling him as he chased both your highs.

"can i fuck you? please ... i know you wanna cum like this, but i cant last ... wa– wanna last for you, but you just feel so ... so fucking good."

"please, hoonie. fuck me .."

he hadnt moved faster in his life, discarding his boxers and your shorts in order to prepare himself for you, but suddenly it hit him.

"baby ... c– condom? do you have any?", he had forgotten to buy new ones before you stayed over last night, so he was hoping against all hope that maybe you had some in your discarded bag in the living room.

"no, hoonie, i .. i don't have any," your eyebrows were furrowed in concern, but he could tell you were still lightheaded from the pleasure you had been feeling just a few moments ago.

"oh, i ... i can just dry hump you? yeah, uh, i'll just–", he couldnt help himself in sounding deflated. he wanted your cunt so fucking badly, but had stupidly used his last backup condom last night.

"or ... you can just .."

his head perked up at that, halting before even starting to grind his hips against yours again.

"baby– "

"just go without it, hoonie. i trust you," you gave him a soft smile, holding onto his cheek before pulling him down for a peck.

"oh, i ... fuck. y– you– " his brain was short circuiting. raw? you were going to let him have it raw? oh. oh, fuck.

"baby, please i need you so fucking badly."

he could never say no to you. as per usual, he gave you exactly what you wanted, ignoring how badly this moment would ruin him; corrupt him and smear his brain with thoughts of your unfiltered cunt for years to come.

and ruin him it did, as he immediately lost himself the moment he entered you, groaning at the warmth and wetness coating his cock.

"you're perfect. god, fuck ... you– you're going to ruin me, arent you? you al-already have, shit ... you're my dream ... love you so fucking much, oh fuck ... make me yours and never give me back, i– i need to be yours. need you every day, fuck, please ..." he babbled senselessly as his hips went crazy against yours, drinking in every cry you released and groaning at every scratch of your nails against his back.

he was already close from having dry humped you through his boxers while he made out with you earlier, but now he knew his end was just around the corner. begging you to cum inside was likely out of the question, but his body demanded he at least try, except you somehow beat him to it.

"baby, inside, please! need you to fill me up ... fuck, please ..."

he had no way to respond other than by crying your name against your neck, relishing on the sound of slapping skin as he chased his end inside you with the desperation of a starved man.

with multiple expletives and confessions of love hidden between cries of pleasure, the two of you came one right after the other, kissing each other all throughout your highs.

now jihoon felt nothing but unfiltered bliss. he held you in his arms and caressed your body to the best of his tired ability, continuing to tell you sweet words of affirmation as you did the same in return.

jihoon was more than fine with being obsessed with you if it meant having you all to himself like this. he would gladly get teased about being down horrendously bad for you as long as he had you in the end.

[thebearer]

omg the part in that one blurb where reader makes a joke about being able to skip a meal and then carmy’s just like tf did you just say is so important to me as someone that has a long (and uneasy) history with body image and healthy eating habits

i was wondering if you had blurb/general thoughts/ideas on how carmy would react to the reader having a harder than usual time with body image for whatever reason

maybe they make one too many jokes or little comments about feeling insecure and carmy’s just not having it lol

carmen, with every ounce of love i have in my heart for him, would not be good with handling that. simply because he understands not liking yourself (like the idea of it, he can't fathom why you don't) but he grew up where food was kind of an act of love. he'd never hear an "i'm sorry" ever in his life, but his mom would very much so be the type to say "i have dinner ready for you" and that was as much as an apology as he'd get.

the first time you're kinda not eating, carmen's like trying to joke with you. "the food not good? don't like it?"

and you assure him that's not it. "i just... i'm not really hungry."

carmen's confused bc you've been together all day and you only had an iced coffee in the morning. "no way." he shook his head. "you haven't eaten all day. if you don't like it, baby, it won't hurt my feelings, i promise. nothin' you can say that a chef in new york didn't say, they said worse too. just tell me what you want and-"

"-carmen, it's ok. it's really good, i'm just not really hungry." you smile. "i need to not eat today anyways. my jeans are so tight-"

"-what?" carmen thinks you're joking at first, brows creasing with a small grin. until he sees your face. "you're-you're being serious?"

"well, kinda..." you mutter.

"that's... don't say that." carmen shook his head. "please, don't-don't do that, that's insane."

your face falls at his tone, you know he doesn't mean to be so hard about it, but you can't help but feel worse, like carmen's mad at you. in a way he is, but not out of anger, out of love. out of not wanting you to hurt yourself like that.

"i just... i feel gross, and i'm starting to look it-"

"- i think you look beautiful." carmen mutters. he sounds hurt, genuinely hurt by what you're saying, like you said them to him. "i don't... i don't like that you do that to yourself." he admitted after a moment. he'd been going to therapy, working on channeling his emotions out when he felt them instead of bottling them in, leading him to an anxiety attack.

"i'm sorry." you whisper, unsure of what else to say.

"no, it's not... i don't want you to apologize or- or feel bad, i just... i felt like i should say it." carmen's eyes lifted to yours. "that you don't need to do that."

you can't help the way your chest rushes with heat, anxiously picking up the spoon in front of you. you're not sure what to say, most of the time, most guys kinda brush it off. act like it's nothing or ignore it- some agreeing. no one ever got... hurt by it like this. like you were hurting them too.

maybe it was the guilt. maybe it was the fact that carmen looked so sad. whatever it was, you weren't sure, but you were fucking hungry- and the pasta was good.

you hesitantly took a bite, ignoring carmen's eyes tracking you. "it is really good." you hum, trying to break the obvious tension in the room.

"you don't have to eat it, i-i don't want you to feel pressured to." carmen shook his head. "but i'll make you something else? could i make you something else? whatever you want."

you blushed, looking down. you knew what he meant. he was trying to help in the only way he knew how to, by cooking. "carmen-" you sigh.

"no, it's... it's not good to not eat, ya know?" carmen looked up at you. "you have to eat but-but if you don't want pasta, i get it. i'll make you whatever if that's what you want." he looked at you pointedly. "but don't ever think you need to do anything like that f'me. i think you're perfect no matter what. love you no matter what. you know that, told you i'd still love you even if you were a worm."

you snorted lightly, his reference to the tiktok trend you'd done on him a while ago. "thanks, bear." you mutter, grabbing his hand lightly. "i-i would like, if it's not too much and you have all the stuff, that greek goddess salad sydney was testing the other day? i've been craving it."

"heard." carmen nodded, standing towards the fridge.

"if it's not too much trouble-"

"-c'mon." carmen scoffed, looking at you sweetly. "it'll take me fifteen minutes max. sit down f'me, alright. i got it."

[running-with-the-feels]

I will be doing that Kenshi character analysis when I have more free time (life's been hectic lately), but until then, please take my headcanons:

Kenshi chews hard candies. This is apparently a genetic trait since Takeda does the same thing.

Frost's real name is Morya (pronounced mori-ya) and she's Russian and Kazakh.

Her hair was also originally black but turned white with age. Which is a common thing for cryomancers, the fact that Kuai Liang has any black hair at his big age is nothing short of a miracle.

Sonya is a kleptomaniac and was a chronic shoplifter in her early teen years (a habit that took months to break). Nothing big just some snack food but she still finds herself pocketing things she's not supposed to.

Liu Kang's favorite song is One Week by Barenaked Ladies. If he's being honest, it kinda reminds him of his relationship with Kung Lao. (I have so many Liu Kang headcanons it's unreal but I'm going to limit myself to one for this ask)

This one's long:

Bi Han, before being kidnapped by the Lin Kuei, wanted to be an opera singer. He wasn't good at singing to start out, but one of his mom's friends worked at an opera house and was happy to give him free lessons. After being initiated into the Lin Kuei he was banned from indulging in hobbies as they were seen as meaningless. But he continued to practice if he had time on solo missions. He saw it as his own act of freedom/rebellion.

Then Hanzo tore his head off. As Noob he didn't even get to try, since the whole mind control business. Sometimes he'd find himself unconsciously falling back into old habits leading to people being unnerved when Noob fucking Saibot started hitting notes high enough to crack glass at them like some kind of horror movie.

Even after getting his humanity restored, his vocal cords were permanently damaged and pushing his voice too hard results in coughing fits, soreness, and losing his voice for days at a time. And when he does sing, it's strained and sometimes hurts. But if Bi Han's anything it's stubborn so he continues to "build up his tolerance" as he calls it.

EEEEEEEEEE can't wait to see it and I love these

The first time Sonya sees Kenshi chew a hard candy she walks straight into a wall in horror. Cassie does the same when she catches Takeda doing it.

The only people allowed to call Frost Morya are Kuai Liang and Cassie. Kuai Liang only ever does it when she's ill or injured and though she'll never admit it she finds it very comforting, and Cassie calls her that whenever she wants to kiss her really bad (bc Frost always kisses her when she does)

Kuai Liang still has black hair that oddly shows no sign of greying, but his eyes tend to flicker between their normal brown and a terrifyingly bright blue whenever he has a strong emotion, a trait also common in cryomancers.

Johnny is actually Sonya's biggest supporter in breaking her habit of nicking things and is the only person she's ever met that hasn't judged her for it, which she appreciates

Kung Lao's fav song is all star by smash mouth and he's the one who introduced Liu Kang to most of the music that Liu Kang knows (pls tell me your Liu Kang hc if you get the chance, I Beg)

Bi-Han used to sing lullabies to Kuai Liang and Tomáš in the Lin Kuei and Enenra can still be founding humming the tunes along to himself after a hard battle.

Noob got a bit of a reputation as a siren in the Netherrealm bc if you heard him singing it meant you were already dead.

After they resurrected Bi-Han and he began living at the Lin Kuei temple with Kuai Liang, Hanzo eventually came to apologize for killing him, it didn't go well but Hanzo is trying to atone and Bi-Han is struggling to stay angry about it (especially when Kuai Liang wants them to get along so bad)

Hanzo found out about the damage to his vocal chords and sought out an edenian tea said to be able to aid in the healing of such wounds, gifting it to the shadow wielder as part of his apology.

Bi-Han will never admit it but it actually works and being able to sing without pain again, even if only for as long as the tea is in effect, is the first thing to make him really feel human again

[strawbrygashez]

I read a bunch of soapshipping fanfics today and I love how so many of them give Tyler actual flaws and treat him more human than he ‘actually is’ in the movie and…I wanna share some hcs i have that make Tyler ‘not perfect’ as well. I get the point that in the movie Tyler was supposed to have none bc the narrator needs to drool over him & see him as godlike but whatever. That man has issues. You can especially see this during when he was going Joker mode when he was getting beat up by Lou. Anyways this is going under a cut bc it’s long

————————————————————————

• I’ll start with the out with one that’s most common which is that Tyler is soooo bad at sharing how he’s feeling or being super heartfelt. The only person he even tells his true deep emotions to is the narrator after they’ve been together for a while. I feel like he would be that way due to how he was raised and or trauma. Getting him to admit to feeling uncomfortable is hard too. He wants to come off confident all the time so he will just smile at whatever is thrown at him even if it’s making him upset or anything like that. Also of course he has a hard time expressing how just deeply in love he is with the narrator and how much he cares about him. (Which causes problems for them both but they work thru it. Nothing could keep the narrator away from Tyler at the end of the day.)

He wouldn’t admit it but I think maybe he also resents himself for not being able to say certain things easier. He knows he hurts the narrator sometimes when he’s not saying ‘the right things’ and he genuinely doesn’t mean to hurt him in that way.

•He can get pretty jealous. Not like how the narrator feels like he’s about to kill himself bc someone even glanced at Tyler but like, if Tyler thinks someone is being a little too friendly to narrator or if he thinks the narrator might enjoy being around someone else ‘too much’ he gets all huffy, smiles threateningly, and either interrogates the narrator over ‘what that was’ later or just roughs him up some when they are in private again. He hates the idea so much that the narrator could look up to someone the same way he does Tyler. He has questions going through his mind along the lines of how are they better than him? What does he see in them? Do they make him feel more loved? And etc.

Hypothetically he should know that the narrator would rather die than touch anyone else & that the narrator sees him as a God but,, Tyler is just like that :/

•Ok now for a not widely accepted hc about Tyler. I don’t think he’s that good at writing or reading. He’s not terrible at it but I think he really didn’t give a shit about most things in school besides history. (He could probably give a big whole speech about how bad school systems are)

He doesn’t really care that he’s not that good at either of those things but does get a little embarrassed about it when the narrator points out he spelled something wrong. He will just grumble about “who cares?” or “whatever dipshit.” The narrator doesn’t mind that Tyler’s not the best at it and helps him out when he needs to without picking on him.

•Kinda canon but he’s a act before thinking type of guy in most situations. He prides himself on it for the most part but also there is times where it doesn’t end well for him. He will defend himself about whatever he did ‘wrong’ for a while until he finally is some how able to admit he’s sorry and shouldn’t have done something (only to the narrator. He doesn’t care that much if it’s anyone else that isn’t especially close to him)

•I think he had a self h*rm problem growing up. He doesn’t do it anymore now that he’s older bc he has fight club and whatnot. I think SH helped him come up with FC since he thought physical pain always helps solve mental pain.

He doesn’t hide the old scars since he can blame it on like a ton of different things and people don’t have a reason to doubt him. Like he can say he got them from years of fighting, while running away after getting caught doing stuff he shouldn’t, stuff like that. Sometimes he also just doesn’t lie about it and just says straight up what they are from. It just depends on who and how he feels that day. Like mostly the only ppl who know what they are really from are the narrator & tylers close family and maybe Marla.

Not to be cringe…I know the “he kissed my scars 😢😢” things can be cringe (believe me I would know) but I think Tyler thinks it’s sweet when the narrator does kiss his. The narrator hates that Tyler ever felt like he had to do that (but at the same time is okay with fight club??? Lol) The narrator has stayed up in bed while Tyler is sleeping and just looked at all of them and thought to himself about how Tyler must of felt, why he felt like he had to, and all that.

•My man has some kinda mental illnesses. I couldn’t say what but he just does. He’s a very impulsive man and can become very manic is all I can really say.

•He will get ideas and plans in his head and focus on them a little too hard and it’s hard to pull him out of it. The narrator is really not someone who should be fussing at people for not sleeping but he does anyways. He offers to work out whatever plans or ideas Tyler has while Tyler rests. Sometimes Tyler will let him & sometimes not. If not, the narrator will at least stay close to him so they can talk about whatever is on Tylers mind.

•He actually used to hate his laugh a little when he was a young teen. He got over it after a couple years and now doesn’t give a fuck what others think. He will laugh as loud as he wants in a quiet room if he wants to.

•Going back to that manic thing, I think the narrator can usually calm him down. It especially helps if he’s holding Tyler and pulls him away from whatever has him worked up. Narrator will run his hand up and down Tylers back or just talk to him soothingly. Tyler is usually thankful for it once he’s calmed down.

•Canon-ish again but Tyler can get a bit in over his head with some stuff. He believes he can do just about anything which leads him to getting into situations where he finds out he actually has little to no idea what he’s doing. He had this problem as a teen too like he’d say stuff like “Sure I could fix your fence!!” or just like little odd jobs around the neighborhood and he actually doesn’t have much of a idea what’s going on but It helped him learn how to do all kinds of different things in the long run. He just always finds a way to make things work more often than not in his own ‘Tyler’ way.

•Okay often he really doesn’t genuinely care if someone wants to listen to his speeches/knowledge or not. He likes sharing them since he knows they’ve helped others but he’s been doing that for as long as he can remember even at inappropriate times. Like I dunno, as a kid at a funeral I could see him just telling some random person there about how he knows how bodies decompose, how bodies slowly rot and what each stage looks like. (I think that’s why he loves the narrator. He loves how randomly weird he is as well.)

•He needs attention all on him. He loves it so much and feeds off of it. His favorite kind of attention is from the narrator and he will get snarky and whatever when he feels like he isn’t getting enough from him but also he just thrives off attention from anyone in general. It’s what makes him carry himself so confidently. He knows people are dying for a minute of his time and to be the idealized version of himself he puts off.

•He doesn’t allow himself to cry in front of others. More than likely it’s because of his father saying boys shouldn’t cry or be weak. He knows it’s bullshit deep down but he still holds that mindset for himself. (If another dude is crying like the narrator, he won’t give them much shit for it.)

•My final idea for right now….he hates the doctors and all things like that. He can say a ton of reasons why but the main ones are he just feels super uncomfortable at places like that because either 1. He doesn’t want them going on about how bad his or the narrators health is & being really worried for them and questioning them.. or 2. He just finds it hard to be as snarky or smart to ‘em. They all don’t usually fall for his bs unless they are a part of fight club or project mayhem.

[marshmallowprotection]

Okay so I know Mc in Seven’s route got to see those pictures of Saeran in the floppy disc. But in regard to GE Saeran route, you think Saeyoung would show Mc (and Saeran) what’s in the disc at one point?

A part of me would get emotional bc baby/childhood pictures of people always make me wanna cry. He just looks so pure, he’s baby and I want Saeran to know that he was an adorable child 😭

But another part of me wonders if Saeran would even want to see those pictures or show them to Mc given the context. He looks happy and calm in those photos but it’s been stated in game that even in those peaceful times in his life, he still missed Saeyoung so much.

I think it would be difficult for GE Saeran to see those photos. He had no idea those photos were being taken of him, and he missed so big brother so much at the time those photos were taken.

He is aware of the fact that Rika and V have photos of him, not too many of them... but they exist. He had one in his diary that they took of him in the tiny garden at the cathedral, after all. He knows they exist, but it's easy to suggest that he assumed they were destroyed when he was taken to Mint Eye.

It's difficult to see those pictures. He doesn't hate the fact that those pictures exist, he hates the fact that he's the one who has photos of himself at that age. He should not blame himself for that, but it’s hard not to feel guilty. Saeyoung doesn’t have photos like that. They might be twins but they're not the same person. It must be difficult to have no evidence that he existed at a young age. That’s what Saeran thinks.

He knows Saeyoung would never whine or complain, but he would never admit that he wishes things had been different growing up. He wishes he had a photo of the two of them at that age. It doesn't feel fair to share these photos of himself when Saeyoung doesn't have a photo of himself. Sure, he would say it's no big deal to him, but it isn't fair to Saeyoung! Mother Choi and Saejoong made it so they boys did not have any way to exist comfortably, and it's one of the reasons we see Saeyoung feel so desperate to leave proof he exists on his MC in the Secret Ending.

Saeyoung doesn't have proof he existed. It wasn't just the agency that made him feel that way. It started with his parents. Saeran is sincerely aware of that fact and I think one of the reasons he picks up photography after his After Ending isn't just because he wants to be able to take photos of everything he experiences, it's also to give his brother a chance to see himself on camera for once in his life. That's one of the ways they're healing together, you know!

But, I know no matter how difficult it is for him to see those pictures, the sentiment behind them means much more than anything else. Saeyoung wasn’t lied to at first, Saeran was being taken care of and he was happy for a short time, even if he couldn’t be as happy as he would’ve been with Saeyoung around. His brother never forgot about him. His brother always had a piece of him by his side.

That goes against every ounce of brainwashing that was committed against him, and having tangible evidence to know that his brother was tricked just as much as he was, really helps him overcome the paranoia in his heart. He can't believe his intrusive thoughts when he sees just how much his brother wanted to come back to him but felt like he couldn't. 

I don't think he would be opposed to showing his MC the photos. Yes, the context behind the photos isn't happy, but it does have a happy ending. That's why it's easier to stomach looking at the photos then it would be if he discovered them before his brother gained his freedom. Sometimes, I think about what would have happened if the player had stumbled across the floppy disk during the time before the After Ending, because Saeran and MC have been staying in the bunker for a little bit! 

That would hurt Saeran. It would only hurt him because he wouldn't be able to talk to his brother about how he got those photos and what they did for him when he felt ashamed by his choice to leave. It would be the context he needed to know that his brother was lied to for sure, but it would make it all the more difficult because no matter how much he wants to talk to his brother about it, his brother is still missing and there's nothing he can do but continue to fight. 

The good news is that if you saw those pictures and called him cute, it would make him feel better about himself. His insecurities are still with him even though he's learning how to overcome them, and hearing that he was a cute kid will make a difference. There were a lot of insults hurled his way as a child about his appearance, so anything to overcome that does have a lasting positive impact. 

[cranetreegang]

if you’re taking requests, would you write a mainly angsty ominis x mc fic about him opening up to the mc about his family bc he’s now at that level of trust with them? not only is your writing amazing but i find your own headcanons about his family really interesting, and it would be really cool to hear about them in more detail if you’d be up for it :D

Thank you for the request!! I decided to do a bit of a headcanon at the beginning (i've never done that before hehe) and then a fic at the bottom! I hope you enjoy and it was what you were looking for! I enjoyed thinking about his family. Especially since you're not given much info about them - so I had fun envisioning what his family dynamic might have been like.

I wanna shoutout my wonderful ladies in the discord I'm in (Fanfic Friends made by @roohuh). @freesiriusblack came up with the banger idea about Ominis being wary of sleeping in his bed because his family would be able to find him there.

I love bouncing ideas with y'all and there was a lot of great ideas being throw around.

Read my other Ominis Fics Here

Ominis learned from an early age to control/suppress his emotions. Rather it be his siblings teasing him to get a reaction out of him - or his parents making remarks at his ‘emotional’ state. 

So he found it best to keep his emotions in check as to not have another form of control over him. If they can control his emotions, then they can control him. Despite his aloofness, I think he does feel very deeply about things. He’s just learned to not show any interest in things, or to react in general. 

There wasn’t a lot of laughter in the household unless it came at the expense of someone else. Laughter (and other loud obnoxious noises) was overall banned by their father as being ‘too disruptive’.

Ominis deals with pain terrifyingly well. Any discomfort or agony he’s in, he refuses to show it. He’ll grind his teeth and not make a single sound. He’s learned that the pain he’s in is another form of ridicule to be used against him. 

Ominis does not cry. Crying is a form of weakness, and he cannot show that. If he does cry, it is silent and it’s when he’s sure he’s alone. 

So when he does cry in front of someone, it’s an absolute sign he trusts them. He’s being vulnerable and he finds that extremely difficult to do. Always worried that his vulnerability will be used against him.

Ominis does not like sleeping in his bed when he’s at home. He’s in a state of vulnerability and anyone can approach/surprise him while he’s asleep. A big reason, he doesn’t want his wand stolen from him - his one piece of control and self-reliance. Once he was out of the Gaunt Estate, he had a hard time adjusting to not waking up every so often to check if he was safe or not - something he still struggles with.

On one occasion, Marvolo snuck into his room one night, and woke Ominis by pressing his wand under his chin. Marvolo liked the terror in Ominis’ eyes. After that, Ominis never wanted to be that scared again.

Growing up, Ominis learned to fight back in his own way - mainly snark. Using his wits and sharp words, he’s won many battles against his siblings this way. While he dislikes using magic against his family, he will if he has to. He’s not against defending himself, which is why he’s an excellent duelist. 

Marvolo is the prized eldest son, which Ominis used to be jealous of - mainly the love and attention Marvolo received. Over time, Ominis has accepted he doesn’t have a true place within the Gaunt family, save with his Aunt Noctua. A fact which bothers him more than he’d like to admit. He doesn’t have a ‘true home’ nor a ‘true family’ like everyone else.

As for Ominis and Marvolo interacting, it’s a tense relationship. Ominis is never really sure what mood Marvolo may be in as Marvolo is quite temperamental and quick to anger - lashing out however he pleases. Rather it be cruel insults, dangerous spells, or using his fists - Marvolo is a wild card and Ominis tries to always be ready. 

Marvolo is the reason Ominis is an excellent duelist. Ominis had to learn the hard way (through many burns, cuts, and straight humiliation) how to anticipate what the other duelist will do - and how to effectively counter. It soon got to the point that Marvolo lost interest in trying to fight Ominis once Ominis started putting up an actual fight.

Ominis has a rather distant relationship with his father. His father taught him (or had others teach him) the ways of properness and being a gentleman - out of necessity to hold up the Gaunt family name. His father doesn’t view Ominis as a ‘true’ son, but more as a strategic piece to use against the other families. AKA potential status upgrade if Ominis catches the eye of a potential Pure-blood wife. 

His father is the ‘Stoic, Aggressive, Stubborn’ Father archetype. He wants Ominis to be able to uphold the Gaunt name - he desires Ominis to be a ‘true’ man. Since Ominis is perceived as ‘weak’ in his father’s eyes, his father viewed Ominis as a lost cause - something not worthy of any effort to try to mold. It wasn’t until Ominis became more independent with his wand did his father take more interest in him. 

His father was unreasonably strict with Ominis - especially as a child. Any outbursts, whether it be crying, laughing, or any form of raised voice, would be met with a cruel punishment. Ominis was to be seen and not heard - a phrase Ominis heard many times from his father. 

“You need to learn to stand up for yourself.” , “I’m not going to coddle you like your mother does.” , “Real men don’t cry.” , “I’m not here to be your friend, I’m here to make you into a man worthy of the Gaunt name.” , “I’m not interested in your excuses, I want results.” , I don’t care if you like it or not, you’re going to do it.”

His mother on the other hand, Ominis is far closer with. Not to say they’re extremely close. His mother is what you’d call a Devouring Mother archetype - she loves selfishly not selflessly. She’s a world-class manipulator. She wanted Ominis to rely solely on her, due to his aliment, but once Ominis started to become more independent - especially with his wand - she started to become more manipulative. 

“Do you not love me?”, “You’re nothing without me.”, “I’m the only one who truly loves you.”, “I’m trying to protect you.”, “You’ll never find someone who actually cares about you as much as I do.”, “You’ll never make it on your own without me. You need me.” , “I only want what’s best for you.”

She has no shame in trying to guilt Ominis into doing what she wants. Ominis, having been removed from her influence for a long time now, realizes his mother manipulates him. It’s a hard truth for him to admit, and he doesn’t want to acknowledge it half the time. Ominis, deep down, clings to the notion that his mother does love him - in her own twisted way.

As promised, fic below!

Warnings: mentions of child abuse??? i guess um nightmares, angst and comfort

Word Count: ~2,300 words

Sweat clings to his brow, a heavy breath escaping his lips. He listens intently, and he’s met with the soft snores of his dorm mates along with the humming boiler. His hands slowly release the tight grip on his sheets. He’s at Hogwarts, he thinks to himself as he sits up. Running his hands over his face and through his hair, he shifts to the side of his bed. He slips on his thicker winter robe and shoes, grabs his wand, and leaves. 

He shoves the wooden door open and steps outside. The chilled air greets him and his hot, clammy skin. He stands there for a moment, breathing in the crisp night, before continuing his walk. He’s not sure where he’s going - he doesn’t rightly care. He just wants to stop thinking. He wants to silence Marvolo’s voice taunting him, and his own cries replying back. Hatred and frustration claws at the back of his throat at how pathetic and helpless he is to Marvolo’s torment. It’s been years, yet he’s still trapped in that wardrobe - being shaken and rattled.

The damp, mossy scent of the Black Lake catches his attention, and he waves his wand around to gather his bearings. He finds himself at the shore of the lake, his boots sinking into the rocky sand and water sprays onto his face from the breeze. With the gentle waves crashing to shore, he sits down on the beach. The sweat of his nightmare cools, leaving behind an unsettling chill. He drags his knees up to his chest with a heavy breath. 

“Ominis?”

He jolts, whipping his head over to the sound of her voice. She’s walking towards him, her steps slow as if to not scare him away. 

“What are you doing here?” he questions sharply. “It’s way past curfew, and you should be getting rest.”

Her laugh is gentle, warm, and it eases him for a moment. She takes a seat next to him, brushing her arm against his. 

“And what about you? Do you not need rest?” she counters, her voice laced with a smirk.

His brows pull together, pulling his legs more into his chest.

“I’m fine. I… couldn’t sleep.”

He turns his face away from her, afraid she would see too much. She shifts towards him, sneaking her hand into his arm to wrap herself around him. His hand seeks hers without a second thought, their fingers intertwining. With her warm body against his, the chill of the night doesn’t feel so oppressive. The rolling waves alleviates the heavy silence between them.

“It’s a beautiful night,” she finally comments. “No clouds, just the moon and stars. The lake looks so peaceful.” 

He closes his eyes, finding it hard to picture any sort of peace in his current state.

“How did you find me?” 

His question hangs in the air while her thumb strokes over the top of his hand. 

“You had another nightmare,” she states. “I… was worried.”

“It was just a silly dream,” he dismisses, shaking his head slightly. “Nothing to concern yourself with.”

“Ominis-,”

“I’m fine,” he snaps, directing a heated gaze towards her. “Go back to bed. I’ll be back to the castle soon.” 

Despite his sharp words, he doesn’t loosen his hold on her hand. He expects her to pull away, leave him be, but instead she lays her head on his shoulder. A heavy exhale escapes his lips and he lays his head on hers.

“You can talk to me, sweetheart,” she whispers so quietly, her words nearly drift away with the receding tide. 

“It’s nothing,” he murmurs, lifting his head off of hers.

He can feel her gaze upon him, looking up at him with concern. 

“Do you not trust me?” she asks, her voice tinged with hurt.

He scowls at her. “What kind of question is that?” he hisses. “Of course I trust you.”

She strokes his cheek, softening his scowl, and he sighs into her touch.

“Then, why are you hiding this from me?” 

Her tone is borderline pleading, and he can’t stand how hurt she sounds. His jaw clenches, grinding his teeth together, while he holds her hand tighter. 

She continues in a gentle voice, “I didn’t want to tell you what happened at the Repository. It was a horrible, frightening experience, and I didn’t want to burden you with it. But, you were rather insistent on me telling you. And I’m glad I did. So, here I am, insisting you tell me what weighs your heart so.”

He doesn’t say anything. She squeezes his hand with a grimace.

“Please, Ominis,” she pleads, “tell me what’s going on. Don’t shut me out. Whatever it is, I want to help. I want to listen. Your nightmares have been getting worse.”

He frowns, “You’ve… known about the nightmares?”

She lays her head against his shoulder, nodding.

“Yes. For some time now. I was hoping you would talk to me about them, but you’re rather determined to pretend nothing is wrong,” she reaches her hand up to stroke his cheek, causing him to melt into her touch. 

She turns her body towards his. “You won’t burden me, if that’s what you fear. You don’t have to face your demons alone, Ominis,” she says softly. “Let me be there for you, just as you have been there for me.”

He chews the inside of his mouth, flooding his tongue with a sharp copper taste. As much as he didn’t want to open up about this, hearing her upset is far worse. He sucks in a deep breath.

“They’re… about my family,” he admits in a quiet voice. He shakes his head with a grimace, “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“How about the nightmare tonight? What happened?”

He turns his face towards the cool mist of the lake, his breathing already starting to pick up. 

“It was… about the time Marvolo tricked me and locked me in a wardrobe. He told me that we could play a game of hide and seek together - and he would help me find a spot to hide,” he lets out a bitter laugh which contorts his face into a cruel expression. “Once I was inside, he started to-, he-,” Ominis’ hold on her hand tightens as he struggles to compose himself. She waits for him, rubbing the top of his hand like a soothing balm. 

He shudders, “He locked me inside, and he started to shake the wardrobe. Levitating it and making it spin and flip around. I had no idea where I was, what was going on. And I cried and begged to be let out, but he only laughed. He just kept laughing. Then once he grew bored, he left me in there. It wasn’t until a house elf found me hours later before I was set free.”

She’s not sure what to say. Squeezing his hand, she kisses his cheek then rests her forehead against his temple.

“Did that happen often? Marvolo tricking you?” she asks.

He nods, “In my younger years, yes. He was supposed to be my brother - someone I could trust. And he had no qualms in using that against me.”

She grimaces, “Did your parents ever intervene?” 

He snorts with another bitter chuckle, “Intervene? No. Marvolo was teaching me a lesson - toughening me up. Making a man of me, as to not be some sobbing feeble weakling. No, Marvolo could treat me as he pleased. In fact, I think they actively encouraged it,” he shuts his eyes with a tense sigh. 

“I remember the first time I fought back. Really fought back,” a proud smirk tugs on his lips. “He wanted to ‘duel’, and his spells would always come at me so fast. Then, I noticed something. There would be a pause when he went to cast certain spells - and he actually had a set pattern. During that pause, I managed to land a spell right into his chest. I could hear him stumble back from me in surprise. And for the first time in my life I felt… powerful. Best of all, Marvolo was weary of me after that.”

“If he could see you now, I doubt he’d be able to muster the courage to fight you at all,” she smiles, making him grin for a moment. His grimace returns and he turns his face towards his lap. She remains silent, quietly caressing his hand while he gathers his thoughts.

“My parents are… not kind people,” he begins in a quiet voice. “I told you of their ‘pastime’ with muggles. I still can’t comprehend being so cruel to someone - a complete stranger. But my mother, she wasn’t always unkind to me.”

A soft smile plays on his lips as he says, “She used to let me sit on her lap as she read to me - mainly over our ‘great’ family history. She’d hold my hand and take me through the corridors, telling me all about the portraits of our ancestors. One time, she gave me a chocolate pastry before bed - which Marvolo found out about the next day and punished me for it.”

“She sounds like she cares about you,” she says.

Ominis’ features fall into a more neutral expression, “Perhaps. In her own way. Once I got my wand, and I didn’t need her to help guide me, she changed. She’d cry anytime I didn’t want to hold her hand, or I wanted to read on my own. She nearly broke my wand in half one time, if Father hadn’t walked in.”

“She nearly broke your wand? Why-,” she stops herself with a shake of her head. “Your father actually stopped her?”

He nods, “Only because I had more worth in his eyes once I had my wand. I wasn’t some burden to him - not completely anyways. He wouldn’t talk to me often, unless necessary. For someone I lived with for nearly all my life, I barely know the man.” 

“And he’ll never see how great of a man you are.”

Ominis turns towards her with a soft gaze, “Do you mean that?”

She kisses his cheek with a nod, “I do. You’re amazing, Ominis. Despite them trying to break you, you remained strong. You’re a kind, loving man. It’s something they’ll never be able to take away from you.”

He closes his eyes with a heavy breath - pressing his forehead to hers. 

“I owe that to my Aunt Noctua. She was my light in those dark times,” he admits. “She showed me the world wasn’t always so cruel, nor unkind. She gave me hope that once I left that place, I could be whoever I wanted to be. That… people would… love me for me.”

His voice cracks and he squeezes his eyes harder together. He feels a tear trickle down his cheek, and she gently wipes it away with her thumb.

“My sweet, Ominis,” she whispers. “You’ve been through so much. But, you don’t have to face it alone anymore. I love you. I love you so much.”

Her tender touch and lips on his cheek - break him. Tears fall, despite him trying to keep them at bay. She doesn’t realize he’s crying until she feels a damp saltiness on her lips. Guiding him, he nuzzles into her neck as she holds him in a tight, loving embrace. 

“It’s okay. I’m right here,” she strokes the back of his head. 

He crumbles in her arms, letting himself cry silent tears for all the pain he’s kept in his heart. He weeps for the child he once was, who yearned to be loved and held like this. Her presence, her embrace, is warm and comforting - combating the darkness which weighs him.

She holds him, feeling her neck dampen while his fingers clutch onto her robes. There’s a rage in the back of her mind. She would like nothing more than to storm right up to that Estate and rip it apart - piece by piece. The more barbarous side of her would do the same to his family. Make them cry in agony, beg for mercy - a grace which she would never grant. 

How could they ever be so cruel to her sweet, kind, loving Ominis? She hates they made him so aloof, and closed off from the world. Shattering his trust, again and again and again. Twisting the heart of someone who loves so deeply. 

Instead of focusing on the injustice done unto him, she tries to think of only him. He survived. He made it out of their clutches with his heart. He could’ve been just like them. She buries her nose into his messy hair, inhaling his woodsy scent. 

His hold on her loosens as his tears begin to calm. He feels lighter, while his eyes are heavy - begging for sleep. But, the idea of having to leave her warm embrace frightens him. 

“Can we… stay here?” he asks, his voice small and vulnerable.

She smiles, lowering them onto the sandy beach, then pressing herself into his chest. He wraps her in his arms, letting her warmth wash over him. In the embrace of night, with her by his side, nestled in his arms and tucked under his chin, he feels safe, protected.

“Thank you,” he whispers. “For being with me. For finding me. For listening to me. You… I love you.”

She kisses his neck with a soft hum, “And thank you, for letting me in. For loving me. I never want to let you go, Ominis. I love you.” 

He holds her tighter against him, determined to make them one. Resting his head on top of hers, he listens to the gentle waves rolling to shore and to the soft breaths against his neck. The stars twinkle above them, casting a gentle glow upon their entwined bodies. 

In that moment, surrounded by the soothing sounds of the lake and the warmth of her love, Ominis finally feels a sense of belonging, a sense of home.

---------------------

AN: Sorry my Marvolo simps, but I don't think he's that nice of a guy especially to his brother Ominis. I think Marvolo, growing up, was doing all these things as 'brotherly love'.

Anyways, I hope y'all enjoyed <3 Feedback always welcomed :)

[tarysu]

My tachihara michizou head canons + with s/o shit idk what to call it help (first time tumblr user)

it is currently fucking 3am in the morning on a Wednesday morning. Sos send help !! (The brainrot is hard)

and yes pls ignore grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes, I’m writing this w very little brainpower and I want to feed ppl Tachi content cuz I’m sick of HOOWWW little Tachi content we have

here’s a lovely the rock TACHI illustration I did at the brink of my extinction (If the TACHI fandom disappears, that’s probs bc I died or smt)

He’s definitely a VERY polite and well mannered gentleman out of mafia atttire/persona. The kind of guy that greet you every morning with coffee/tea prepared when you enter the headquarters.

He still acts like a silly little teen boy (19 , I still hear that TEEN in him). Having to miss out on many opportunities in childhood, this fucker loves to fuck around during games.

He’s Tachihara! THIS FUCKER LOVES GUN FIGHTS. Take him to a lazed tag and he’d be winning all the time.

it takes time to get Tachi to open his heart, like DEADASS a long time. Having to work as a double spy for the hunting dogs, he mustn’t let emotions get to him during missions. Romantic relationships are a no no for him if it’s going to interfere with his workload. BUUTTTTTTT if he can reasonably squish in love between his chaotic schedule, it takes a hefty amount of work to get to him.

His sleep schedule is..smt. Very fucking sad tbh, considering how busy he is. And even during his break holidays or weekdays he still can’t sleep! His sleep schedule fluctuates too much due to a lot of things. He’s an over thinker (me 2 Tachi 😕🙏)

buddy his music taste also fluctuates so hard, the next thing he’d be listening to is rap then to Romance songs. Bros Spotify hops from freek-leek by Pete Pablo to lovesick by laufey.

ok s/o time!!

First time dating Tachi would be the cutest thing, he isn’t used to any affection! Given that his family barely embraced him with love, he’d find it difficult to respond to affectionate gestures. He wouldn’t even know what to do when his lover hugs him!! Sure he’d hug back, just a little awkward tho.

As months go by, dating Tachi for a long time means his lover gets to see a silly side of him! Out of his mafia persona and professional personality. He wouldn’t be Tachihara, he’d be just silly michizou. Cracking up the stupidest jokes on earth, like lobotomy Kaisen humor .

he’d be embarrassed to admit it but this motherfucker would be checking his phone all the time, seeing if there’s a message from his partner . Sometimes he’d be disappointed if it was just Teruko spam messaging him a bunch of gojo: “nah I’d win” memes.

he likes it when his partners runs their fingers through his hair while being cuddled. He feels warm and safe, tone able to see tachis vulnerable side is like a 50/50 win win.

sorry not sorry but he will not hold back when playing games like Fortnite or cod (I just see him as any regular guy that would play that shit), even if his opponent is his partner. Blud will pull up w the “where you go I go” ahh Typa shit on his partner just to piss them off (playfully ofc) and win that victory Royale on Fortnite.

When his partner is upset, he’d do the zestiest and goofiest acts to cheer them up!

he loves his partner a lot, he has always been afraid of loving someone due to rejection. Being rejected his whole life made his mentality develop a defense mechanism where he follows his head over his heart, rejecting his own personal feelings. (It’s 3am babe!! Idk what I’m typing atp.

it is 3:27am this is how much I can feed u w my virgin brain sos send help 😕😕🔥🔥🔥🔥☝️☝️☝️☝️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️

[misc-obeyme]

RAHHHH AKWKWJDJF I DID IT, I FINALLY BEAT OG !!!! WITH LESS THAN AN HOUR TO SPARE BEFORE NEW LESSONS

except hard lessons

PRACTICALLY A YEAR AND HALF OF CONSISTENTLY PLAYING (AND LIKE FOUR YEARS SINCE I FIRST DOWNLOADED THE GAME), IT'S DONE !!!! IT'S OVER !!!!

and i feel strangely bittersweet. man, not to get sappy but like. i never would've expected to be where i am now. I've made so many cool friends ?! I'm back into drawing and I started writing ?! I'VE GOTTEN OVER MY FEAR OF COMMISSIONING PEOPLE, AND HERE'S ONE I LITERALLY GOT TODAY !! (FROM VINYXZZZ ON TWITTER)

like as crazy as life feels, obey me has been a constant the past while and has a chokehold on me, and my favorites have tumbled around on the list. But Mammon has been there since day one. I will be old and gray and his photo will be faded in my wallet. but maybe I won't have a wallet anymore so it'll be in a picture frame instead.

RAHH I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL OKAY I'M SO EXCITED FOR NEW LESSONS TONIGHT

minor spoilers ahead for lesson 80??

also the fact that only solomon remembered Mammon's name like 🤨 why's that mister sorcerer man? because you're in lo- *gets dragged offstage*

also the last chat with all of them, and asmo says "more like significant other" in response to solomon asking if mc is okay, and mammon freaks out "DON'T SAY THAT". thinking about this in my mc's story, and instead I'm like

"mammon the three of us are literally in a poly relationship"

"...the great mammon was just testin' ya! Don't want the two of you forgetting you're both mine just because you're both in the human world!"

DAAWW WAIR WHAT IF GETS SAD AND JEALOUS THAT MC AND SOLOMON STAY TOGETHER IN THE HUMAN WORLD 😭 ANGST!! OR IG HURT COMFORT BC THEY'D TOTALLY REASSURE HIM ONCE HE ADMITS IT!! actually they summon him every night so they can all go to bed together <3

SORRY IT GOT LONG OKAY I'M DONE WHEEE BYEEE

- ✨ anon (only bc I'm attached to my sign off ngl aksjd)

WOOO I'm glad you were able to finish OG!!!

Listen, when I think too much about all that Obey Me has brought into my life, it's like a weird thing that my brain cannot understand. Like I remember first downloading it and being like hm okay we'll see about this demon game, seems kinda ridiculous.

And like YES it is, but it also caused this blog to happen! And I'm a sad lonely person who made a ton of amazing online friends because of this game and I have so many lovely anons talking to me and people reading my writing and !?!?!?

It seems crazy sometimes to think all that came from this silly game! So I totally get you. I'm so glad that the game helped you make friends and start to draw and write again!! I think it's so great to have that thing that inspires us, no matter what it is!! And I love how we can all just talk about this game and connect with each other, no matter who we are. IT'S SPECIAL 😭

AH that commission is SO CUTE.

LOL I love when parts of the story feed our own headcanons and story ideas laksdjf.

I love the idea that Solomon and MC just summon Mammon to the human world every night, what a bunch of cuties!

How would your MC and Solomon deal with this when it comes to the NB storyline? I mean, do they just keep the secret from past!Mammon? Does he end up getting really attached to them without really understand why? I think it'd be hard for MC to have one partner who knows everything and the other one who has no idea...

[inchidentally]

@watehry asked for me to a carlando zodiac analysis like my landoscar one <3 (reminder I am not Lando levels of expert at astrology so this is me taking from a bunch of sources)

this one got kind of weird for me though bc the astrology is crazy black and white simple and gave maybe a little too much insight for comfort?? anyway proceed if you still want but also skip past if the parasocial stuff is too weird (it rly kind of was for me in places)

Scorpio and Virgo are a slam dunk as a match in friendship. simple as. Scorpio is ambitious with highly changeable super-charged moods and pretty damn needy. Virgo is all about "optimization" of themselves but extremely forgiving towards other and so self-reliant that it's easy for others to rely on them (sometimes more than they should).

this worked out perfectly for them bc Lando has had so many different needs throughout his career: an extremely young rookie needing a strong leader, a struggling teammate who needed someone to provide all the fun and reassurance, then no longer a teammate who needs a friendship that fits around his crazy schedule and existing friends, and a competitor who would honestly be a lil devastated if Carlos didn't still try and look out for him on the track. Carlos has been able to cater to all of those different things without ever losing himself. he finds Lando fascinating and fun no matter what.

honestly with Scorpio being a Fire sign and Virgo being an Earth sign there doesn't need to be much digging beyond that. their equal passions balance out beautifully and has strong enduring power.

Scorpio's birthstone is Topaz and gemstone is Citrine. Virgo's are Blue Sapphire and Topaz respectively.

a lot of the usual Virgo traits don't uhhh rly apply to Carlos as a beautiful cis man born of extraordinary privilege who has a rarefied hyper masculine sport as his job (he is never 'in his own head' and never over-intellectualizes lmao) he wants? he gets.

Carlos is a solid extrovert with a seemingly undrainable social battery which also counteracts more stereotypical Virgo qualities. but he is also an extremely hard worker who shows intense focus and mastery over whatever he pursues. very very Virgo.

he's also endlessly curious which makes him a great people person as well as a student of his sport and nothing is more attractive to him than someone who is fully open and vulnerable. he would have absolutely no idea what to do with an Oscar for example. they'd both be very happy and respectful in each other's company but only if someone else provides a common topic. otherwise it would be radio silence.

but little rookie Lando Norris who has been starved of the superstar attention he had in his junior career while he toddled around after Fernando? he and Carlos fit together like chicken and breading.

"Virgo wants order while Scorpio wants power" says a whole lot about how compatible they are. they want the same things but in completely different ways. it's why Carlos can factor in helping Lando get a podium and Lando has no problem admitting that Carlos helped him get there.

pitfalls of their relationship are down to the fact that they are so complimentary yet both are strong-willed. Virgo thinks far more logically and doesn't want to compromise by factoring in Scorpio's ever-shifting ambitions and emotions. it's honestly a very good thing that they've chosen friendship/bromance over anything else. they can keep that sweet aspect of romance but without having to suffer the restrictions and complications of a romantic relationship.

and um it might also explain why Carlos was the one to push Lando into finally having a girlfriend. from what I vaguely know Carlos himself had a longtermish gf ? for his McLaren years ?? and he'll have found it easier to deal with Lando's neediness with a gf for Lando to focus on.

not to get too parasocial about real life stuff here but we can all kind of agree that Max F's girlfriends have to accept that his friendship with Lando comes first. or at least equal to them. that's because once Leos find someone happy under their control and protection it's an absolute lock for life. Scorpio Lando wants attention and reassurance, Leo Max wants to be the leader and the rock. Scorpio needs to be in their feelings at will and Leo loves living in the moment. they sort of already found their person in each other oops. but since cis straight people relationships already center around ferda culture it works just fine.

by contrast, Carlos as a Virgo would have his own strict ideas of what his relationships should look like and I'm gonna take a wild guess that his family have inscribed ideals of wives and babies and being a provider into his DNA. when Carlos gets married it's going to have to be Lando who works around the schedule and makes good friends with Carlos' wife. fortunately he seems to be able to do that just fine with Max's partners so I don't see any issue there. (this is what I mean when I said this got very weirdly intuitive about real people)

as long as the Scorpio/Virgo friendship is free and easy for each party to come and go as they need to, they'll literally be bonded as family til they die. I can't read Lando's actual feelings well enough bc he uses so much deflective sarcasm but Carlos and his family absolutely adopted him as one of their own. Lando might take a little bit more of Carlos' generosity than he gives back but that's just their way. I'd say Max F is the bff who will always be there and Carlos is the bff that Lando can meet after months apart and it'll be as if it was just yesterday.

as Lando said they're much better off not being on the same team because they were juuuust on the cusp of the teammate rivalry not being fun anymore. I miss the challenges together but we'll always get carlando content anyway and won't have to see their relationship erode, fail and then heal but never be quite the same again (sorry but like w Daniel). it's also why the landoscar astrology reinforced everything we feel about Oscar being tailor made for Lando as a teammate.

ship/fic-centric stuff

let's get the rough stuff out of the way first: long term romance between Scorpio and Virgo is… tricky. especially both of them being men. I'll go ahead and say that they're much better off having a steamy hot affair for a while but then letting it settle into platonic but extremely deep friendship. you could easily have Lando's main love interest having to accept that Carlos has the same role w Lando that Lando does w Max F.

that being said! the sex is fire. Virgo Carlos would be a confirmed masc top (literally wants to do "power play") bc a feeling of control is so fundamental for him. Scorpio Lando would be raw arousal and want someone he could fully trust. he'd be over the moon to do anything and get as kinky as Virgo wanted.

Carlos would want to shower Lando with gifts and big expressions of love and adoration. while Lando would eat all of that up he wouldn't see it as the same as spending quality time together and sharing the same bed etc. definitely would need to be a chapter dedicated to communicating of needs etc.

Carlos would break very quickly in a secret relationship. it would sap him of everything he wants to bring and receive in a relationship. Lando wouldn't last much longer because his partner denying him romantic love in public would eat away at him. it would either end them or be a catalyst for deciding to be open and damn the consequences.

carlando angst is a whole other level because of how much they both want to remain bonded together. but there's also plenty of juicy fodder: miscommunication (Carlos' fault) jealousy (Lando's) possessiveness (Lando's) a need to be in charge (Carlos) lying for the other's protection (Carlos) wanting more freedom (Lando) caving to societal/familial pressure (Carlos) cheating born of passion or dissatisfaction (Lando) silent treatment (Lando) dismissal of feelings (Carlos) angry words that they wish they could unsay (both)

or the most complicated of all which would be Carlos VERY likely assigning Lando the "woman" role and being unable to have a romantic relationship not based on heterosexuality. don't worry he'd gay sex it up bc sex is His Thing but there'd be specific no-go things for him in bed. this is because of the whole rules obsession and occasional lack of emotional connection problems. this could go really sweet and involve negotiation and self-exploration or it could just be super kinky or it could be really angsty and lead to Carlos almost losing Lando entirely. just know that it'll need solid work shown to bring Carlos out of mainstream gender norms if he even does. he will resist efforts made to rattle the world he's built for himself. if it's dark fic that features social homophobia/internalized homophobia then it could be left as is rather than trying to fix it (as in, they're fighting for their lives or live in constant peril so their relationship doesn't get the attention it needs)

the power balance will always be in favor of Carlos so you'll need to take very good care of Lando and stay in his head most of the time for him not to lose himself completely. think of how Lando always mirrors the vibes of the men he is with at the moment and that a lot of carlando is Lando following Carlos like a puppy.

Carlos will never back down and won't have the capability to deal with fights but he will never EVER reject Lando. if he needs to walk away from a fight he'll state the fact first and do it as a way to clear his head. but he'll always come back. literally Lando could have walked away from him and married someone else but it would just take Carlos seeing his number calling for him to drop everything and be there for Lando like nothing had happened.

Carlos may need to hold all the cards but life without Lando is impossible for him. they'll either be intensely loyal friends in a multiship fic or on a steady track to Carlos putting a ring worth the gross national product of a small country on Lando's finger.

[thatbitchsimone]

Ok, how do I meet older men without using dating apps/sites?

I’m 21, crazily introverted and don’t have many friends, so I never go out. But I’ve been craving the affection of older men lately (I know, it’s fucking shameful) but I have no idea where the hell I can actually meet cool and interesting guys in their 30s/40s that aren’t creepy and perverse. Plus I look really fucking young for my age, so I feel like I can never approach a guy when I think he’s attractive, because I assume he’ll like I’m like 15, and I feel self conscious hanging around bars on my own. I’ve tried to avoid finding someone online because it seems so superficial and inorganic and it turns me the hell off tbh.

well its gonna be hard as fuck for u to find a non creepy older man if u look that young sorry to break it to u but its true. a normal man is already gonna feel very conflicted about dating someone that are 10+ years younger than them and if u on top of that look even younger than ur age they just wont be able to look past it. i dont judge women for wanting to date older men bc its understandable to me that guys in their 20s arent very attractive or interesting to u but i gotta admit i think u should wait with indulging in this until u hit ur mid 20s at least and on top of that i think in order to date older u have to be very skilled at reading ppl and be very good at ”knowing how to pick them” and have a very strong sense of self, confidence, solid legit resilient self esteem and know the ins and outs of emotional manipulation tactics and are quick at catching these tactics and having no fear of pushing back and standing ur ground and not let ur boundaries be pushed or comprimised and to be honest with u i am not sensing that in u from how u describe urself so im not gonna encourage this path for u bc that would not be in ur best interest. ur way too inexperienced rn (not a bad thing in general btw its just a bad thing in this very specific context bc its too risky and ur too vulnerable at this stage in ur life) like it takes a certain type of person to be able to properly handle being the younger part of an age gap relationship and most women ur age arent that type of person and should therefore not pursue it until they have gotten some more years of life experience and growth to back them up

[ahundredtimesover]

Hello! I randomly found “I want you to stay”, while scrolling, and let me tell you, I could barely focus on something else for about 4 days. I love me a good Jungkook fic.

Besides being a Jk fic, this is such a good story! I love how you portay their thoughts and emotions so extensively. Both of them are so relatable. They made me realize how much I crave for someone that is ready to accept all the love in my heart and how afraid I actually am to open up to someone and accept their love. It’s so hard to do…I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years, that ended last year, and since then, I’ve been questioning myself and tried constantly to make sense of my emotions, of who I am, why haven’t I been enough for this person. Reading your story, I realized that I was enough, however, he did not know how to accept my love and I did not know how to express myself better. I’m thinking how important is to communicate and to be true to yourself, after reading the characters’ thoughts. I guess we’re all living in our heads most of the time, imagining how the other person will react if we say this of that and more often than not, we’re sabotaging ourselves. That’s why I am relating to both of them, I feel like I am sabotaging myself most of the times, as I’m living in my head a lot. It is weird tho, because with my friends I can be open and give and receive love, but when I’m thinking of a romantic relationship, I feel like it would be so hard for me to do that, because when I love, I do it with my everything and it’s consuming. And trusting that someone will not break you is even harder. I’m wondering often if it is wrong or if I am crazy for wanting to give someone everything and trust them with anything…

Until I find my breakthrough, like Ms. Cho and Mr. Jeon, I will redirect my love to other people, like Mr. Ri did.

I honestly cried with them and for them, and maybe for myself as well.

I guess what I want to say is, your story made me feel so much. It’s been a while since I was glued to my phone reading something.

Thank you for this wonderful story! 💜

Hope you’re having an amazing day, whenever you’ll be reading this! 😊💜

You have no idea how much of a sigh of relief this ask feels.

I think what drained me the most about this story was getting into the characters' hearts and minds in depth, and they don't even get themselves! Half the time, they didn't understand what they were feeling. And that was the point, I feel like - we're all complex, walking contradictions, with so many desires we're afraid to admit and so much love we're terrified of showing and accepting. We want things we need to be brave to have, but we want them too much that we don't want to risk our own hearts for them because of how much it'll hurt. That's how I wrote them, and you sharing your story validates this all.

Like you said, he did not know how to accept my love and I did not know how to express myself better (this thought will matter in s2 if I ever get to write it). OC is just like you - full of love for family and friends, but unable to express the romantic kind bc when she loves, she'll do it with everything and it’s consuming. And trusting that someone will not break you is even harder -> that's exactly her reasoning. It's everything she's scared of. And it's so human, so relatable bc these things aren't easy. But we figure it out somehow; we'll have to trust that things will make sense one day, like it did for them.

SO THANK YOU for sharing this and for dropping by 😊 I can't imagine what losing a decade-long relationship feels like but I hope you're feeling better. I'm sending you hugs. I hope this story was able to give you a bit of comfort and clarity. I wish you well always 💜

[tracybirds]

Thundertober Day 1 😁😁 I love these prompts and I'm excited to spend some time with as many as I can!! Thank you @skymaiden32 for the prompts! Currently only have access to my phone bc overseas so please excuse any typos you spot 😅

Day 1 - Cave In

Alan hits a limit mid-rescue

Notes: significant emotional whump, hurt/comfort, generally the small one is having a bad bad time 🥺 (sorry Alan)

I promise it works out 💕

---

"Please, sir, stay calm," said Alan firmly. "Grab my shoulder, we'll move nice and slow. Ms Beaker, make a chain with Mr Welsh and follow on."

"Stephen, I'm scared," she said, gripping her husband's arm tightly.

"I understand you're frightened," said Alan, taking a deep breath.

His mind whirled with months of overlapping advice and he paused for a moment, tying to find the right response.

"The passage is clear but we have to move single file. I can give you a glowstick to help make sure you don't trip?"

She nodded slowly, and quickly cracked the proffered stick.

"Sarah, you go ahead of me," said Mr Welsh, a waver of uncertainty clear in his voice.

She sniffled, wiping away a tear in the dim light.

"We're not normally like this," she said unhappily.

"You've not normally been trapped underground for several days either," Alan pointed out. "All things considered, you're doing amazing. And we're nearly there, the hard part is almost over."

She nodded, drawing herself upright.

"You're right, we can do this. Let's get out of this awful maze "

They formed a line and Alan swung his flashlight ahead of him. A line of luminescent dots showed him the way out, a series of modern breadcrumbs scattered by the drone that had charted the pathway tto the couple. All they needed to do was follow them home.

"This way," he said, and the group began to pick their way across the rugged terrrain.

The path wasn't easy and more than once they needed to squeeze through narrow passages or clamber through low-ceilinged spaces on all fours. Alan's breath quickened at each obstacle, but his two charges made it through them all with little complaint.

"How much further?" called Mr Welsh, his voice sounding pained.

Alan checked his monitor, cursing his failure to check in on the injured man and his heart sinking at the distance.

"Quite a way," he admitted slowly. "We should take a break."

"No, no," he said. "That's not necessary, I can keep going."

"This is my call, sir, you're in pain."

"I'm fine," began the protest, but Ms Beaker soon quitened him.

"Stephen, he's right. If we don't take care of that arm, it'll require much more painful treatment when we finally get out."

"And this is as good a spot as any," said Alan, giving them an encouraging smile that neither could see. "It's wide and open, and we can set up the artificial flame cubes."

By the dimly flickering light, he could see the toll the crisis was taking on the two. He had to admit to weariness himself. Making their way out of the cave system was proving to be a grueling process, and he missed being able to rely on his brothers' guidance. Still, that was what today was about. In situations like this, even International Rescue's specialised low attentuation radio waves couldn't penetrate this deep underground, and he had to get used to making decisions without them.

He hoped he was doing them proud.

"I can give you ibuprofen for the pain," he said softly. "And the splint seems to have kept the bone in the right place. Try not to lean on it too much when we're crawling; use your elbow instead."

"Thank you," said Mr Welsh tiredly, resting his head back against the rockface. He accepted the rations pack along with the pills, not saying a word.

Alan leant back, still thinking of how his brothers would respond to the dismal scenario. Gordon had an air of confident cheeriness that seemed to make dark moods vanish with barely a word. Virgil excelled at comforting those with fading hopes, making space for their fears and gently helping them find their stength for the next task at hand. John was so matter-of-fact that it never occurred to the people around him to worry even for a second. And Scott was kind and sure, never doubting his success, never losing his way.

Alan wished he could be even half as good as they were. Instead, he breathed deeply, holding onto the slow meditations Kayo had taught him and squashing down the uncertainty and fear that he was mucking everything up.

His brothers trusted him, he reminded himself. Being here, in this moment, was evidence of that very fact.

"Time to keep moving," he said, forcing Gordon's cheer into his voice. "I know it seems like a lot, but we're over halfway. We'll be hearing my brothers soon, and then we'll be able to call the Mole down."

"The 'Mole'?" asked Mr Welsh curiously as he stumbled to his feet.

Alan opened his mouth to respond, but froze as a deep rumble rippled through the earth.

"Get down," he said harshly. "Hands on heads, don't worry about the break."

Startled, they minicked his motions as a tremor swelled and shook the cave, a sharp jolt that threw them all forward accompanied by an unpleasant rolling as the floor dropped and rose to meet them.

Alan glanced upwards as he recovered himself, and there in the red glow of the artificial flame cube he spied the first fracture in the rock above.

"Oh, sh..."

His sentence is swallowed by the resulting cave in.

He can hear himself yelling, his heart rate spiking as he calls for his brothers and hears nothing. He's not trained for the way the darkness presses down on his limbs, nor the way his nerve fails as phantom pain flares with the adrenaline.

Gasping, he remembers his charges, and he calls to them, screams for them when they don't respond. He crawls to them, shaking helplessly at their unconscious bodies and clawing at the blocked passage when neither responds.

He has to get out. He has to get them out. And he can't.

He curls into a ball between Mr Welsh and Ms Beaker and tries to remember how to breathe.

He can't do this, and the thought that he's failed wells up inside of him, choking its way out of his throat as he lets loose a sob. Failure means death and he can't process that, it's never happened when he was so alone.

He calls out for his brothers who should be able to hear him, who do nothing to help him and he realises he might already be dead.

There's no rationality left.

The air is definitely thinning fast and he gasps for oxygen, fighting the black spots in his vision. He can almost hear Virgil yelling in the background to turn it off.

He laughs hysterically. He can't turn off his fear, he's not Scott. He's not clear-headed John, doesn't have Gordon's will to live, and will never be strong like Virgil himself.

The rock shimmers around him and vanishes, leaving him splayed out on the floor and struggling to catch his breath.

"Alan," called his brother and he can feel warm arms holding him close as he curls in on himself even more tightly, grasping at life, and sobs.

It's a long time before he remembers who he is.

Scott looked pale, his arms cradling him in a way Alan vaguely recalls from when he was small.

"You okay?" asked Gordon, crouched next to him. His hand hovered over Alan's shoulder like he was too scared to touch him.

Alan breathes. It's all he can do.

"John's coming down," said Virgil, brushing a hand across his forehead and sweeping back his blond hair.

"He doesn't need to," said Alan, his voice as frail as he feels.

"He wants to," said Virgil firmly. "That was a nasty shock you had."

Tears welled in his eyes again and Alan buried his face into Scott's chest, unable to look at his brothers any longer.

"I'm sorry," he cried. "I failed them, and I failed you. I tried so hard to think of how you guys would do it and I couldn't and I can't and..."

"Shhh," admonished Scott, his grip tight around him. "You haven't failed. You've found a limit, that's all. To be honest, I'm surprised we haven't hit one before now."

"A limit?"

"We test the limits so that we don't discover them mid-rescue."

"We're not superhuman, Alan," said Virgil. "We all have fears, we all have weaknesses."

Alan scoffed.

"You've never fallen apart like that."

"And how would you know, squirt," asked Gordon with a faint grin. "John's not about to put us on any rescue that we can't handle."

"The training is to get better, to be better, yes," said Scott softly. "But it's also to ensure we know how to keep each other safe."

"Surely you've noticed that you've only done cave rescues in training or within communication range," said Virgil. "This is the first time you've had to deal with this extreme."

"And it'll be the last," said John, striding into the room.m and falling to his knees to give Alan a hug. "At least until you're ready to train the scenario again."

Alan didn't say anything, squirming out of his grip.

"I just feel so stupid," he said into his knees. "I knew it was just a training sequence. I knew that."

"It doesn't have to make sense, Allie," said Gordon. "Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. I can't do anything too high speed, my brain just freezes."

"Fires," offers Scott. "Not anymore, and I'm still the last option only, but for a long time until I learned to trust Brains' safety margins on the protective gear."

"Which you did by creating an inferno of your own, and then panicking." grumbled Virgil. "Idiot."

"Hey, I only panicked until I realised nothing was burning me."

"Unfortunately, it was burning everything else."

"Avalanches," said John quietly, interrupting them. "Virgil and me both. I transfer the call and Grandma does the monitoring from the island."

A hush fell over the brothers.

"Point is," said Scott gruffly, "we'll look after you. So you're not cleared on cave rescues, big deal. You're as competent as the rest of us. Fear isn't weakness."

"Definitely not," said Virgil as John and Gordon murmured their agreement.

Alan looked up at each of them, his ownpersonal heros, still as strong and corageous and kind even now he knew they weren't as fearless as he'd imagined.

He flung his arms around them, pulling them in close.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you."

[running-with-the-feels]

fuck it, I'm doing it, here's to @lunaria1 for enabling me!

Dogbird by Madds Buckley broken down lyric by lyric into Subscorp content

I think the entire song would be from Kuai Liang's perspective, with this being his internal monologue towards Hanzo.

"Sorry that I'm scared of thunder like a dog, I know that you love rain, but I cry when something shakes the walls"

Kuai Liang's entire life has been one emotional connection after another being ripped away from him in very painful ways, so for him, connecting with another person and trusting them is very hard and he can't always tell the difference between someone caring about him and someone wanting to hurt him. So while, for Hanzo, their relationship is joyful and good, Kuai Liang is struggling to understand it (Hanzo sees rain but Kuai Liang sees a storm)

"Tail between my legs, I scratch while you relax, ruffling feathers, watching storm clouds pass"

Ties into the same themes as the verse above but specifically I wanna talk about "Tail between my legs" bc we know that Kuai Liang is a very powerful warrior, but he's also been made to bow to others his entire life and that's not a habit that breaks easily. He's so used to being used that he can't really conceive of someone not wanting to do that. And if its Hanzo using him, someone he trusts and cares about, well....why not? He'll be kinder about it than any of the others and that's how you're supposed to love people anyways, right? (it isn't)

"Hoping I'll make you hate the thunder too, digging in my claws to make you hate me too"

I think both Kuai Liang and Hanzo are self destructive in a lot of ways, but where Hanzo tends to go for anger and destroying himself by destroying others, I think Kuai Liang would push ppl away. Kuai Liang would keep trying to sabotage the relationship thinking it would lead to nothing but pain for them both (except it won't) but Hanzo just won't let him, probably doesn't even realize that Kuai Liang is trying to push him away, and assumes he's just adjusting.

Now we get to the chorus.

"I can't stand you in my bed, you're too gentle. I need you to hurt me back instead"

Kuai Liang has been used and abused his whole life, I do not think he knows the difference between people loving him and people hurting him. He's starting to figure it out now that he's free, but it is a struggle. And all Hanzo wants is to love Kuai Liang and love him softly. At his core, Hanzo is a very gentle man, despite the damage he has done, he is very soft. So he keeps treating Kuai Liang gently and being kind and tender and Kuai Liang doesn't know how to make sense of it bc as far as he knows, love is supposed to hurt and this doesn't. He probs tries to goad Hanzo into hurting him during sparring too, and can only really relax after he's got some bruises to ground him.

"I wish I could take you back to California, where you'd never heard of creatures like me. Little bird won't you fly away, Little bird won't you fly away?"

He thinks Hanzo would be happier with Harumi, if she had lived, and wishes with everything he had that he could make that happen for Hanzo. Its not an entirely unfair assumption on Kuai Liang's part, nor is it malicious or angry, he just thinks that he's not good enough for anyone, much less able to measure up to the great love of Hanzo's life. He also keeps expecting Hanzo to leave him, to walk out the door and never come back and is always surprised when Hanzo doesn't

"And sorry that I roll over to my folks, it's not that I'm ashamed but they keep me on the leash to choke"

Lin Kuei Trauma! They fucked Kuai Liang up so much! I think that even though they are dead and he's disavowed so many of their teachings which he refuses to pass on, Kuai Liang still struggles to let go of them in his own life. So he keeps his relationship with Hanzo a secret and hides it from the rest of the defenders even tho neither of them really wants that, bc every time he thinks of telling someone and admitting that he cares about Hanzo as much as he does, he just gets terrified bc if the old Lin Kuei were still alive, they'd kill him for this (he's seen them do it to others) and that's a hard fear to get past.

"I'm a hunting breed, if they sniff you out, they gnash their teeth"

Kuai Liang thinks he's only good for killing, he genuinely does not believe that he is worth anything else. He's also Lin Kuei, and as much as he hates the old Lin Kuei and what they were, he was trained by them and a member, he can't always remember what it is that sets him apart from them. So I think in some ways he's also afraid that he'll hurt Hanzo just by being what he is, and he doesn't want to risk that.

"I'm a coward scared of living outside, even if it means I crush you at my side"

Now, I don't think any of us would describe Kuai Liang as a coward but he thinks of himself as one when it comes to love. Bc as much as he tries to push Hanzo away, to hide their relationship, to try and avoid pain by keeping them both apart, he can't make himself let go. He feels selfish for wanting to keep Hanzo, but he wants that more than anything, even if having it means destroying himself. He knows that Hanzo doesn't really want to hide their relationship but he does it anyways bc he can't bring himself to let Hanzo go, even if it means making them both miserable (which they aren't, they just have a lot to talk about and work through together)

Chorus repeats and then

"When the bell rings my mouth waters, I'm a habit that won't alter, I'm an instinct, don't you fear me? Hunting songbirds in my sleep"

Again, Kuai Liang still thinks of himself as Lin Kuei in the old way as much as he tries to distance himself from them and become something better (which he is), and he's so used to being put in life threatening situations where he can't trust anyone that he can't see things another way very easily. So, I think he lashes out when Hanzo's gentleness confuses him too much and he reverts back to the behavior he had adopted in the Lin Kuei to survive, even if he doesn't mean too. He always regrets it, but he can't stop it either.

"Sorry that I don't treat you like I should. I only lick my wounds, teeth bared and snap, 'you're all that's good'"

I think this would be Kuai Liang trying to apologize to Hanzo for pushing him away so much, but when Hanzo tries to push a little bit and figure out what is going on so they can resolve it, Kuai Liang lashes out again. He calls Hanzo "All that's good" as almost an accusation, in the sense of "You're too good for me, and you're too good to me and it scares me" and Hanzo doesn't know how to convince him otherwise, that Kuai Liang is safe and Hanzo doesn't want to hurt him or use him, only love him.

"If I chase you away, I'm back to chasing tail, running circles after what was real. And maybe one day, I'll catch it, and I'll cry, wishing that little songbird was still mine."

I think that what Kuai Liang fears more than anything is losing Hanzo, and he's terrified that Hanzo will finally give up and abandon him like Kuai Liang has been pushing him to do all this time, leaving Kuai Liang with nothing but the memories of someone who treated him gently with no ulterior motive. Hanzo never will, of course, he's going to drag Kuai Liang towards self esteem and mental stability if it is the last thing he ever does, kicking and screaming if need be.

[priscilla9993]

Rumple

6, 13 ,15 ,18

😘

Hello there again Anon! I can only assume that the kissy winky face is your signature mark. Thank goodness there wasn't any question of where they liked to be kissed bc geez, that'd be hard. Rumple, huh? I'll think about him in his entirety to answer these.

6. Their vices (physical or emotional)

I don't know what a vice is but let me google it. Oooh okay. Well, clearly Rumple’s murdered a bunch of people for too many reasons, as simple as annoying him or not keeping up their end of the deal. He’s also stopped an ogre war by wiping out a bunch of ogres so all children (Baelfire if we’re being honest) wouldn’t have to be drafted. Rumple has the terrible vice of getting physically violent when he doesn’t get his way by destroying things or hitting others with the nearest weapon at his dispense. Emotionally, it’s more of a minor vice, but he won’t tell anyone his plans or emotions, even when he could have saved himself from terrible deeds or actions if he just talked about it. Even when he does tell the ones closest to him of his ideas, he doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice and only works with others if he thinks he has the most control and benefits over a situation. All round, maybe lots of things wouldn’t have happened if Rumple went to therapy or actually listened to Belle sooner rather than later when he’s in a depressed and regretting everything state. 

13. What gets them flustered

Belle flirting with him forever gets him flustered because no matter how much he knows that they love each other, that she tries to see the best in him, and he tries his best to live up to her expectations, Rumple can’t get over how he ever got so lucky to be with her in the end. Them being a happily married couple and him trying to live as a good willed mortal by season 7 really sold it to me that when he decides to be vulnerable and loving rather than power hungry, he’s just an old man in need of some love. I think another thing is watching Gideon grow up and his son looking up to him as the man he always tried to be, respectable and brave. Gideon is such a bundle of joy in his life that he’s always flustered when his kid is excited or proud to show him anything, hugging him or just talking to him about anything. Rumple may not have been able to have been the father he wanted to be to Baelfire, but I believe he did better for Gideon. 

15. What it takes to make them cry

Anything that has to do with Rumple’s past, whether it be their regret of hobbling themselves to get out of the war (very understandable and brave imo since he’d most likely not live if he went into combat; Baelfire preferred his papa to come home safe, even if Milah never forgave him and called him a “coward” for doing so and not getting truly hurt or an honorable death in war) or his troubled childhood with his father, Malcolm, abandoning him for fabled youth. Rumple sometimes cries in private over the loss of Milah as their wife (regretting how things went despite her ‘cheating’ and him killing her). Baelfire is a huge factor to him crying as Rumple unintentionally abandoned him to the unknown portal abyss, his son going off his radar on purpose and then the two of them only to be reunited before Baelfire/Neal’s untimely death that saved him. Finally, whenever Belle can't find it in herself to forgive him or come back by his side, which he knows he only has himself to blame for his shitty choices, some involving her without her consent on how she’d be “protected” or live. For happier cries, it has to do with his family and all the good times he had/had with them when he decided to do better, with disbelief on how a person like him could be cared and loved, reciprocating the same.

18. Things they’ll never admit

Love. Rumple craves and cares about love more than power, however, the darkness is a strong pull, probably whispering that he needs it to protect the things he cherishes and himself. Friendship and community. I think Rumple has always wanted to belong, but he shoots himself in the foot first by assuming no one will ever give him a chance, so he betrays everyone before they can leave him. Similarly, there are some people who never believe he can be all bad, like Alice and Belle. I love how he tries to push them away but is really glad for their friendships, while grumbling that he doesn’t care for anyone. It might not have been truly the Killian Jones he had a longtime revenge feud and death wish over, but I’m glad Rumple was able to admit that Hook, no matter the form, was the closest thing he had to a friend, even if that meant a rival.