#but now it is because i can't get another supervisor. I'm just so sick of everything. why can't things go smoothly just for once

[diminuel]

Whining about university for a moment, maybe someone has advice for me. I'm oversharing my anxiety (and I know I am being ridiculous) a bit under the cut.

As part of my PhD program (which I have not yet signed up for, adding more stress) I'm supposed to get 18 credits with courses picked from different categories. I technically have two things on my list for tomorrow that I can use towards these credits, next with continuation of Danish classes on Wednesday and another block seminar happening later in the semester.

And I... don't want to go. I don't want to go tomorrow. I just don't want to go.

(Various reasons, some more shameful. My supervisor is doing the seminar and since I haven't answered one of her emails yet I cannot look her in the eyes until I have. And less insane/ shameful:)

It starts at 10 and I usually have to work until at least 10 and maybe I could have arranged something but I can't take the day off because someone else is on holiday and I didn't know until the weekened, so I'm going to miss the first sessions. And, well... I'm stressed about this too and now I don't want to go.

It would be good to take this class because it's a research seminar and I don't know if there'll be another one next semester (I suppose there will be, there has also been one last semester and the semester before, but I don't know!).

But... *points at the above*

I could only go for the lecture but one way to uni is 45 minutes and the lecture takes 45 minutes. Also, again, work.

Help. Do I just do a "focusing on actually doing research and writing" semester which I should have done last semester but was too preoccupied with the aftermath of getting sick and surgery and falling into paralyzing inactivity?

(I know there's a knot in my brain that I can't undo. And that has been there since January. I should get to therapy again and I'm working on it. The only thing getting in my way is that I had someone scan something for me and I don't know where the document is. It's simple as that. An unnecessary road block that has been there for almost two months. It's ridiculous. Is that the autism or am I just stupid? Maybe both.)

[bellysoupset]

I cannot find the ask for this, but to the anon who requested sick Wendy + Max caretaker, here you go!!

------------------------------

"Marshall, you've gone over your hours," her supervisor had squinted at her in a tired manner, "again."

She was a resident doctor, meaning Wendy's hours were split between clinic, or more often than not ER in her case, and specialized clinic, where she took the neurology cases and discussed it with fellow residents and her supervisor.

Problem was, Wendy had taken half of Jon's general clinic hours during his three weeks away. She had figured it wouldn't be an issue, given those were up for grabs and she'd get a considerable pay bump that month...

"No, I didn't," Wendy pouted, rubbing at her forehead and drumming the pen impatiently against her notepad, "I did my math, I didn't go over 80 hours per the week..."

"You got Patterson's double shift last Monday and came in an hour early every day this week. That puts you at 96, Marshall," her supervisor, Dr. Jones, was a woman in her early sixties, who always looked annoyed, "I'm putting you on leave for the rest of the week."

"What-" Wendy's eyebrows jumped up, "you can't do that, ma'am-"

"The hospital cannot afford all the hours you think you can do," Dr. Jones glared at her, "and frankly, Marshall, it's neither financially feasible or healthy. Push me on this and I'm gonna request your psych eval."

Well, shit.

Really, what was there to even say?

Wendy's frustration at being forced away from work dragged during most of morning, until Jonah had sent her a string of laughing emojis when she told him about it and the text, You're pissed because you got a free vacation? get out of my sight Dee and Bella had sent her a middle finger followed by go FUCK YOUR BOYFRIEND, WOMAN!!!!!

Her mood had cleared up considerably as she was forced to realize this meant five uninterrupted days of waking up next to Vince and eating her boyfriend's cooking and getting dicked down until she forgot her name.

Her bag was 70% just lingerie and Wendy had put on her best matching set under her outfit — beige flared jeans, chunky white heels and a sage green frilly crop top, with silver jewelry — all but bouncing to her car. She had turned up the music and ignored the drumming behind her eyes.

By the time she got to Doverport, though, her headache had escalated enough to cause Wendy to shut the music off. She had taken the max dosage of tylenol already and her stomach was iffy from a mix of hunger and too much medication, since she had skipped lunch when trying to get to the town before the school day ended, so she could wait for Vin in the parking lot.

She was glaring at her phone, trying to will Vince to answer her text, when the screen lit up.

P.Mgnt: you're here???

This caused Wendy to pout. She had expected a more enthusiastic reaction than this.

Wendy: sorry?

Vince was typing back an answer immediately.

P.Mgnt: I'm sorry honey, I'm happy you're here. I just can't go meet you right now, I'm stuck in detention duty :/ I'm gonna be here for another hour :(

Ah, shit. Wendy rubbed angrily at her forehead, the throbbing there increasing considerably. It was a warm day and she really didn't want to wait in the parking lot for another hour... She just wanted him.

She considered telling Vince she wasn't feeling well, maybe he'd find another teacher to watch the kids, when another text came in.

P.Mgnt: Go ahead to my place. Get a shower and catch up on an episode of 911 , i'll be there soon🥰

Wendy sighed heavily, feeling a knot form in her throat and her eyes burning. The text wasn't dismissive and she knew it was only one hour and that she had dropped by surprise, but it still sucked and she really just wanted him.

Her headache spiked to the point it it felt like an actual physical drilling on her left eye and Wendy bit back a groan, getting inside her car once more. There was no kidding herself this was just a headache anymore and she felt even closer to tears, it was so unfair she got a migraine right now, of all times.

Not only that, but a sense of urgency overtook her. If it was a migraine, she needed to get to Vince's place quicker, before her brain forgot how to drive and was too busy attacking itself in a constant pain loop.

With something closer to a whimper, Wendy started her car.

-------------

Max Daniels was not a snoop, he'd like this in writing.

Sure, he had been very curious when he saw Vince's cute girlfriend in the parking lot, but instead of staying to meet with her boyfriend she had gotten in the car back again and left.

And sure he was tailing her, but that was only because the shortest route to his own place was through the main avenue and he was not about to take the longer way just to avoid her.

And yes, when she turned the emergency lights and pulled over on the side of the road, he had pulled over as well, but that was called Being A Nice Person, after all he knew the woman. What if she needed help?

He was currently sitting in his pickup, staring at Wendy's car and trying to figure if it was completely out of line for him to approach her or not. Vince wouldn't be pissed Max had tried to be nice to his girl, right? He didn't seem the jealous sort, but then again he had bitten Max's head off for less regarding the woman and he had been all sarcastic that one time Max hit on Wendy, before he knew who she was.

Why wasn't her getting out of the car, anyway?

With a frustrated sigh, Max got out of his own pickup and circled Wendy's pale pink sedan, until he was in front of the driver's side. She was crumpled forward, forehead pressed to the steering wheel and flinched visibly when Max knocked on the window.

His curiosity only grew as he saw her bloodshot eyes and Max jumped back as she pushed the door open and squinted at him, "yeah?"

"You need help, gorgeous?" The nickname rolled past his tongue, before he could think better of it, "you turned your emergency lights."

"Uhm-" Wendy pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead like she wanted to push her eye in its socket, "car-" she gulped down, frowning, "carsssmakin' a weird noise..."

Max's frown deepened, noticing the slight slur of her words, "are you okay?" he asked, really taking in her appearance. Her lips were pale and she looked close to the color of spoiled milk, eyes rimmed red...

"Mmm'kay," Wendy groaned, then a small, cute little burp shook her frame and she squeezed her eyes shut, "S'ry..."

Max was well versed enough with puking to recognize nausea from a mile away. He stepped to the side, but crouched down to touch her arm, "you're feeling sick?"

She nodded, gulping down, without opening her eyes and Max winced in sympathy, looking around her car. There was a suitcase in the backseat and a frankly ridiculously looking Stanley cup sitting the cup holder. Max chewed on the words, hesitantly, before saying, "would water help?"

Wendy shrugged, the hand that was pressed to her forehead digging in even more, so much it looked like she was gonna leave a bruise there. Max reached in and grabbed her cup, opening the lid and sniffing at it. Monster Energy, great. No wonder she looked sick, just smelling that made Max's stomach squeeze, he couldn't fathom drinking it.

He needed a new plan, because Wendy was leaning forward, elbows on her knees now and breathing slowly through her mouth, condition deteriorating by the seconds, "were you headed to Vince's?"

She nodded, then let out another little burp, this one not as dainty, with a brassy tone to it.

"Alright, hurl and then I'll drive you there. I can come back for your car later," Max decided by clasping his hands and the clap noise they made caused her to flinch, then another burp snuck up on her, this one turning wet... She whimpered and cradled her head with both hands, while Max moved further away so his shoes wouldn't get covered in vomit.

"Get it up, gorgeous, you're gonna feel better in a second," he figured her stomach was rejecting all that energy drink, as his own would've been, and planted a hand on her back, looking around to give her some semblance of privacy. It was a sunny day and the main avenue was quite busy, cars continuing to go past them.

Under his hand, Wendy's shoulders rolled and she let out a little choked, "Oh god-" before heaving and nearly falling from her seat. Max cringed, glancing down and noticing her wavy hair getting in the way, so he carefully held back her curtain bangs, just in time for Wendy to vomit. A small light brown puddle formed on the tarmac and Wendy let out a burp again, before melting into a coughing fit.

Max grimaced as he heard another whimper, then a gag, "there you go," he moved his hands so his left one could cup her clammy forehead, "get it up."

She nearly fell out of the door with the next heave, whole body lurching as a much bigger wave came up and splashed on the ground, causing Max to internally curse as the tips of his brown boots got splashed with puke.

Then Wendy went boneless.

He let out a yelp as she collapsed forward, only not falling because he was holding her, and puke be damned, Max crouched down in front of her, "Wendy, Wendy, hey-" he said frantically, patting her cheeks, "Wendy, c'mon, don't do this to me, open your eyes."

It was just a small black out, she started to straighten up again, but Max's heart was now in his ears. He couldn't believe his luck if girl died on him. He pushed her hair back, no longer trying to be gentle, hating how white she was, "Wendy?"

"Sssstop-" she grabbed his wrist, whole face scrunching up with pain, "talkin..."

He snorted in disbelief. Some nerve she had to tell him to shut up!

"Well, fucking excuse me if I'm worried! If you die on me, your polar bear of a boyfriend is gonna have my head!" Max glared at her and Wendy opened her eyes. He knew they were pretty, but he couldn't remember their color. Now he saw they were a beautiful dark green shade, currently welling up with tears, "wait, no- No, don't cry-"

"Stop. Talking," she said strongly, as tears ran down her cheeks and gritting her teeth, "hurts..."

Oh.

Max felt stupid and embarrassed, his whole face turning red as he understood why she was shushing him. He wiped the tears with his thumb, trying to collect his thoughts. She needed to be lying down in the dark, not sitting on the side of the road with a puddle of puke in between them.

"C'mere," Max whispered, grabbing her arms and throwing them around his neck, silently praying she was too out of it to comment on how touchy he was being when they were basically strangers. There was no other way of getting her out of that car, "hold on me," he wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted Wendy out of the car.

It was a good thing she was so tiny, because he managed to lift her up entirely, so she didn't clumsily step on the mess. She was panting in pain against his ear, burying her face in his shoulder, body tense as a slab.

"Almost there," he stumbled forward with her, all but bracing against his pickup. Max opened the passenger door, then cringed, "sorry, uh- Excuse me," he mumbled, then hugged her waist and lifted Wendy up to sit in the passenger side. Whatever misplaced intimacy he was feeling, was promptly ruined by her gagging and burping up a small stream of puke, down his shirt.

Max froze, while Wendy's forehead pressed to his shoulder, like she couldn't lift up her head. Her shoulders were shaking as she sobbed and he rubbed her back, "it's alright, gorgeous, don't even worry about it," he sighed, straightening her up to rest against the passenger door. It was terrifying how quickly she had become unresponsive, "I'll just put this down in Vince's tab, don't stress it."

He leaned over her, grabbing his shades in the glovebox and then planting them on her face. Wendy let out a little sigh, body melting slightly, "t-thanks..."

"Yep," he grimaced at the mess in his t-shirt, wanting to remove it, but worried it'd make her uncomfortable if he was shirtless around her, "I'm gonna lock your car, be right back."

At her car, he grabbed her purse and suitcase in the backseat, her keys still in the ignition and then stripped his shirt, using her Monster energy drink to wash off the puke. He'd rather be smelling like that than vomit. Then he drove her car further to the dust shoulder and turned off the emergency lights, locking it.

Wendy was curled up as much as she could in the passenger seat and Max squeezed her knee in a friendly manner, before driving off.

[budgetbuildsystem]

I'm just a ball of anxiety right now. So I got a new job cleaning aisle in a wearhouse, pays well and the hours are pretty good. Me and my cousin both work there but she's janitorial.

Needed context: In one building there is a breakroom, a male and female bathroom, and offices that need to be done. Depending on the building, these places get dirty much faster than other buildings. Buildings 2, and 3 are the most trafficked areas. My cousin does buildings 1, 2, and usually 3 and is expected to lap them twice in 8 hours. Today she didn't do 3 at all because the manager and supervisor were going to work on it. The other janitor does building 4 and another area. Which task wise only equates to doing building 2 as both are low traffic areas.

Our manager has given her FAR too much work and has now written her up for not finishing it all. Today 2 people, our manager and our supervisor, worked solely on building 3. Well... it took them 5hours to make 2 laps. Yet my cousin is expected to make 2 laps of 2 buildings in 8 hours? And she works alone often skipping breaks and sometimes her lunch because she get reprimanded for not getting everything done (she often skips tasks in order to move on in a timely manner and has begun writing down minute accurate time stamps for every task she does to prove she physically can't get everything done.) I wasn't feeling good today and told my cousin I may need to take a point and go home.

Well my cousin messages asking where our manager is because she's not responding, I mentioned to my manager who was nearby that someone was trying to contact her and she actually was annoyed when she saw my cousin called (mind you she is awful at responding in a timely manner. Everyone struggles to contact her during the day.) . And rather than just responding told me to tell my cousin if she needs the manager she can come to building 3. I was already anxious because I could see and feel the annoyance. And I literally heard her talking crap about my cousin to the supervisor.

Well after that break I finally got sick and lost my breakfast. I let my manager know I needed to head home and her whole demeanor felt annoyed and pissed off. Her face just screamed annoyed despite her words being kind. Well I've been home a while now, still struggling with the anxiety and had told my cousin everything. Well my cousin texted a but ago saying there was a bit of an argument about their work load and our manager tried to compare buildings 1, 2, and 3 to doing 4 and the other area. MIND YOU HER AND ONE OTHER PERSON TOOK 5 HOURS TO LAP 1 BUILDING TWICE. She actually asked my cousin to leave the room after they attempted to explain that no the other guys workload is more equivalent to building 2. I was already planning on calling out tomorrow due to mental exhaustion (and now sickness) but now I'm both scared to call out and scared to go in.

That argument had been building for weeks as my cousin has desperately tried to explain that the work is too much for her but the manager never listens.

[neverchecking]

The Switch happening during the Upheaval is such a great idea because I'm guessing Aaliyah will still be injured from Ganon when she drops in front of Sweetpea.

She tries so hard to keep going, fights harder than her body can stand through pure will until the gloom finally knocks her out and Sweetpea decides to take this crazy Sheikah to Tia, only for her to be missing. (Like they have Blessed Fairy Elixirs and Sundelions and Mipha on hand so Aaliyah is much better off than Sage is in the immediate aftermath.) So poor Aaliyah wakes up to an imposter Link and several faces she knows are dead. I think the only way Aaliyah actually listens to anyone is Sweetpea pulling out the Master Sword (and even then it takes a while and only due to the fact she's bedbound for a bit to recover)

And maybe neither world suspects its a Switch, only that one important person is missing and another has appeared until Tia and Sage arrive in the Lost Woods to ask the Deku Tree and *insert Magic reason* all four are able to communicate briefly. Like through a faux vision when the Sages talk to the successors. They manage to figure out that Tia and Aaliyah switch so Tia and Sage decide to continue with the plot since defeating Ganon might switch them back while Aaliyah and Sweetpea decide to see if any of the Sages and Champions might know anything.

Sweetpea also stops by the Three Springs to pray to the Golden Goddesses for information. (Not Hylia since she's on both Tia and Sweetpea's Shit List)

(I see Hylia as like the immediate Supervisor of Hyrule while the big Three are like the CEO's of all Worlds. Still kinda to blame for everything but Hylia's the one who is supposed to be supervising Hyrule while They concentrate on the bigger picture. Honestly, I think Nayru or Farore would be to blame for this because they see the shitshow happening in Sage's world and are like "Well, Tia's already doing so well with her Hyrule, maybe she can help this Hero too :D." Tia would've liked to have been asked, but she'll forgive and forget so long as she can keep both of them.)

Since you said Aaliyah becomes the Sage of Spirit, perhaps when Sage and Tia hit the Thunderhead Islands (and that subsequent mission) that Aaliyah switches back.

But Tia doesn't.

(Fun fact, I accidentally hit Thunderhead Islands after only getting Tulin and I hated it so much :) I saw it was a Main Quest and left. Then I got curious and got Mineru anyway.)

I think the Switch happening during the Upheaval is really the only time it could happen. Because that's when our Feral duo are so injured and sick they can't do anything to atrocious to the poor souls they're soon exposed to. Sage is too disoriented from loosing a limb and the gloom squeezing his vital organs to truly be a threat to Tia (For now. Until he gets better. But by then she's earned his trust-- just a bit)

Aaliyah's gloom absolutely renders her at maybe a third of her fighting capacity. That does not stop her. She's going until there are veins of the dark matter crawling up her neck and cheek and shoulder, nearly infecting her brain until she collapses in a blaze of fiery glory. Sweetpea is just :O bc what just happened. Tia would know! But, surprise, surprise, Tia's not there. The Sundelions seem to have the most effect in helping reduce the markings, along with the sun, but I don't think Mipha or fairies would help much. Gloom seems like something more like a parasite rather than an injury. A piece of Ganon that's turning their body against them. That all to say that, yea, while it's not good, not even okay, Aaliyah does wake up better than Sage. There's still tons of Gloom in her system, as there are no light shrines in Tia's world, and if there are, she hasn't found them. She didn't have Rauru to tell her to look for them.

It's not helped when she has the faces of the dead looking down at her. She's convinced she's dead. That she failed Link once more. But this imposter has the Master Sword. Which was destroyed. But it's not destroyed here?

She probably tries biting him then and there, just for shits and giggles, before trying to escape. Bedbound is simply a recommendation to her.

(They get chains eventually. She bites them then too.)

It takes a while for either party to trust each other enough to travel, but the first place they go is the Lost Woods. The Deku tree probably looks at them and is like 'meditate here for just a sec' and BAM- they're now in that zen place the sages were when talking to their predecessors. It takes a woozy second before Sage and Aaliyah are spotting each other and immediately latching onto the other. Their person was here! Safe and sound and where are you?! This wasn't enough. It would never be enough until they knew the other was safe and sound and within reach at all times.

Sweetpea and Tia probably have their own reunion before trying to figure out what's going on.

Sage and Tia go on to focus on Ganon while Aaliyah and Sweetpea look for causes. Who were the Zonai and how could what they do affect them so badly over ten thousand years in the future?

(Honestly, yeah, that's kind of how I see it to. Like Hylia is the manager that keeps fucking up perfectly good employees and the CEO's are the ones having to fix it. Only they're so out of touch with their employees, they're taking one star employee and just plopping it where they hope she'll fit and taking out another moving part and making the whole system crash because of it.)

So, here's my thing with Aaliyah being the Sage of Spirit. I imagine the Thunderhead Islands are just these islands the remain out of the realm of time and space. Like they're there in both areas and if one side does something it happens on the other side. Kind of like in the beginning of TotK when Zelda takes the Master Sword? So her and Sweetpea go through that whole mission and Sage and Tia are just watching this mysterious statue open like "D:< WHAT THE FUCK-"

(Fun fact, I also accidentally hit those islands with only Tulin. Except it didn't even register to me that it was part of the main quest until I was back on the surface with my new giant killer robot.)

[marsi-is-depressed]

New job misery

Soft Dom!Amber Sweet x fem!reader.

Content: Hurt/comfort, oral fixation- nothing sexual, reader has started a new job at GeneCo and Amber comforts her.

Your day has been long, and all you want to do is go home. You're fatigued and on the edge of sobbing, and all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. You hate your new job at GeneCo; the genterns and Luigi Largo are unpleasant, your coworkers are cruel, and your supervisor despises you and thinks you're too much of a crybaby. But Rotti has invited you over for dinner since you are going out with Amber, and you cannot cancel on them; they could kill you at any given moment.

The only thing keeping you going is knowing Amber will be there.

You're sick of staring at organs in jars and having to know the answers to concerns, and Luigi continuously screaming at you to do something useful. When you go through the door, your energy is further dampened by the activity and chat in the living room.

Amber recognises it as soon as her gaze lands on you: your eyes drop, and she notices the trembling of your bottom lip from her seat on the couch. When you finally glance at her, she pats her right leg, inviting you to come closer. Of course, you give in, letting out a weak sigh as she cradles you in her lap and kisses your temple.

"Hi, angel face," she purrs. "I missed you today."

You can only hum in return because you are afraid a spoken response will throw you into a fit of tears. She places another kiss, a little lower, on your cheekbone.

"Rough day?" you nodded.

"Hey, y/n," Graverobber quickly calls from your shared apartment. "I'm going to the kitchen, you want something to drink?"

You whimper quietly enough that only Amber can hear you, then sniffle miserably.

"She'll have water." Amber's response is instinctive, and you immediately calm down, sinking into her chest. When tears begin to fall, her hand reaches up to embrace your cheek, brushing them away with her brow furrowed. "good girl. 's alright, all done now."

"It was so bad, Amber," you say softly as she kisses your forehead. "I'm such a baby." "I do everything wrong."

"Shh, shh," she soothes. "You haven't worked there long. You can't expect to know everything at once, and I know how dissatisfied my brother gets, but don't worry, I'm going to handle him. Her tone is kind and reassuring as she holds your face in her warm hands and kisses the tears from your puffy eyes. "If things get really bad, you're not going to put up with it, okay?" If things get very unpleasant, you can leave and we'll find you something else to do."

"No, Amber." "I can't quit just because-."

“no, honey,” she interrupts softly. “you don’t need a reason. i want you to be happy and i’m not having my girl miserable at a job she hates.”

You're silent now, burying your head into the crook of her neck. Her thumb reaches up to open your lips, and you gently accept it in your mouth, happy for a distraction. She knows you so well; she knows you'll be content if she gives your lips something to do. Your eyelids flicker, lashes tickling her neck, and you eventually stop, gripping her hand in your own smaller one.

"Good girl," she coos as you gently suckle her thumb; you two have been together so long that it's second nature for Amber to look after you when you're exhausted, just as you do for her when she's high on Zydrate.

Graverobber returns, offering Amber the glass of water as she notices you half asleep beside her.

"Here, honey," she says, pushing your head up by your chin and placing the glass between your lips in place of his thumb. You sip obediently, and she places the glass on the table next to you, laughing as you eagerly press her finger back into your mouth.

"Love you," you say gently. She kisses the crest of your head.

"I know, darling. "I love you more."

[carpesherlock]

I rarely make posts but given the state of the world my advise might help someone.

Most utility services are monopolies. This is just the nature of things you can only have so many pipes under ground or wires running through neighborhoods. Because of this most states regulate these companies.

I can only speak for my state (New York) and my company (national fuel). We are regulated by the PSC (public service commision).

IF YOU ARE AT RISK OF LOSING YOUR GAS SERVICE PLEASE KEEP READING

First and foremost find out if you are eligible for HEAP. More information here. They place a 30 day hold on the account, remove the shut off notice and (as of this year, changes each year based on funding) place 400 dollars towards to balance. This is their emergency HEAP grant. They are only supposed to be open until August this year so act fast (Post dated 6/30/24)

Important distinction because they offer a "basic" grant you can apply to each year no matter what your balance it. Emergency HEAP is only for when you have a shut off notice.

If you CANT get HEAP

Ask for an installment plan. If you are eligible for the minimum it is zero down and 10 a month towards whatever you owe added to your monthly bill.

The negotiated is the only other type of plan and here you have some power. The reps read off what the computer tells them but you can ask them to adjust it. If they tell you 100 down and 100 a month say "I don't think that is something I can manage right now, can I do 50 down and 20 a month" they have to say yes. (Obviously adjust as you see fit but the lower a month the better, you can always pay more one month if you have it, they don't charge interest so paying it down slower will not hurt you, but missing payment will, they charge late fees and can cancel the plan or give you another shut off if you miss one

I understand some reps are bitches so if they give you push back just ask to speak with a supervisor. Full stop. They are supposed to say yes to any amount over 10 dollars. If you cannot pay a down payment they are supposed to offer you a minimum agreement.

If they are being difficult just stop the conversation and ask for a supervisor. It will be a call back so be prepared to wait but the supervisor will absolutely give you any plan you ask for because they know the PSC will mandate you get a minimum if you complain to them.

Now if they say you are NOT eligible.

Now might be the time to be a bit of a Karen. And I don't mean yelling at employees, call reps can't do too much. But if they say you are not eligible ask for a floor sup, they will offer you a plan more than likely but with a large down payment. But better than owing the total balance.

If you truly can't afford that go to the PSC and complain that they are not working with you, tell them you had a change in circumstances which resulted in a change to your income and expenses (IE lost a job, sick love one, increased rent you name it, they don't really fact check your income and expenses, be mindful though I'm only speaking about national fuel, HEAP absolutely will check so don't lie to them) this will almost 100% of the time result in a new more affordable installment plan.

Now I can't say for certain but national grid and nyseg at least for western New York should operate very similarly as we are all regulated by the PSC. And if you aren't with these companies or regions find out who regulates your company. Call them and ask about your rights.

[gurugirl]

yes my ring camera does have video footage and so i have proof but across the street from my house is all forest (it’s a national park) and everyone always uses that to excuse his behavior saying “well he always talks about how much he loves that park and he sits there to destress” because that was the excuse he uses. BUT HE NEVER DID THAT UNTIL HE FOUND OUT I LIVED THERE.

I know he is really manipulative and gaslights everyone around him because he admitted to me. He said how much he loves playing with peoples emotions/feelings, making people feel like they’re crazy and how he can turn everyone against me. He once told me when the guy I liked left how “he’s not here to save me now” which I told my supervisor and she didn’t take it seriously either. She talked with him about harassment in the workplace and he brushed it off and said i’m too full of myself and he’s only joking.

My job is something I love. I’m teaching and all the children I work with are improving and love having me as their teacher which hurts me to leave but atp i’ve been deciding to do that. But even if I do, I know he won’t leave me alone. He got my number from another staff at the school I work and texts me nonstop which I kept all the messages as proof and he would still sits outside my house. Unless I plan on moving too? I live with my sister who’s 2 years older than me and I’ve shared everything with her too so she’s aware. And the only person who believes me.

I keep pepper spray on me and I will look into self defense classes as well. I’ll never get back into his car and i’m always on high alert whenever he’s around, thank you for making me feel heard and not thinking i’m crazy. I was planning on talking with my supervisor this week and in depth but she told me she’s not in office this week so I’m planning on calling out.

An anon chimed in ⬆️ I agree with them. It makes me sick that this is happening to you. We really have so many resources yet it's all a matter of who we tell and who will believe it. I'm glad your sister believes you.

And even quitting doesn't make much of a difference if he knows where you live. I can't believe people would just dismiss your concerns because you live across from a nat'l park and he could be parking there at 2 am "to destress"?? What a load of shit!

I'm sorry you're surrounded by morons hon. Honestly your best bet is to gather what info you can, tell as many people as you can and continue to prepare yourself for people not taking you seriously (like I said it happened to me - not the exact scenario but no one believed me until it was too late and even then they still had excuses for why they didn't know 🙄).

If you ever want to vent about this you can always come here to talk. I will always listen 💕

xoxo

[caffeinated-rants]

10/11/2023 - Narcasistic Mornings

Another morning where my mother was on one for no reason right from the moment she woke up.

I have been accused of getting up 10mins before I'm supposed to be at work, for treating her "this way" despite it not being specified as to HOW I'm treating her, never giving her time in the mornings to warm up the car especially now as its getting colder, etc. and how she's done with it.

Was told that she doesn't like and hasn't likes me ever since I started getting therapy and was put on escitalopram (generic for lexapro) and BusPIRone HLC as it supposedly has changed me as person and I'm not the same as I used to be after she berated me for the car not being warmed up and asking what her problem was.

I told her "if you don't like me then why did you choose to have me?" and she kept her rant going the entire 2min drive to my work.

I'm too scared to fucking drive but I also don't want to deal with this anymore. My dad... as much as I want to trust him, things from other members on his side of the family have made me question whether its even a good idea to move in with him if I were to go that route. i don't want to move in with my sister because my nephew is a rotten brat and her own views on relationships and attention are something I don't want to be around either. Her twin has her own family and I wouldn't be able to keep my cats if I moved in with her and I certainly will not abandon them.

My grandparents are too old to have someone move in with them, as well. My 84yr-old grandfather is taking care of his 80yr-old wife who is going downhill with dementia and has to have family members sit with her if he needs to leave the house because she can't be alone.

I want out so bad but with every option not sounding right and my fear of driving, I feel so fucking stuck. I'm finally starting on the path to get my voice back and as a result I'm verbally berated for it and told I'm not me anymore due to it.

My supervisor at work is going through a similar emotional manipulation from her husband and it makes me wonder if I should ask her if the two of us should look for a place to rent (she has two/three dogs, I'd be taking my three cats) but at the same time I don't want to burden her with me not knowing how to drive, relying on her to give me rides to all of my appointments, etc. That isn't fair to her and she already has a son who doesn't have a license either. It'd be a double whammy.

I'm just stuck. As my therapist and psych said, I have a wooden stake stabbed through my chest but I'm too afraid to have it taken out so the wound can be cleaned and begin to heal.

I'm scared to be on my own. I never had real parenting. I'm scared to drive because of accidents I've been in and how bad the locals and out-of-towners (ie. flatlanders) drive these days with all the road rage and tailgating and lack of proper blinkers... I can just see myself getting hit even just as a passenger in a car. I have confidence that I'd do fine as a driver, but its the people around me on the road that scar the ever living shit out of me and make me fearful to drive. And even then, my mom's truck is trashed and my friend's PT cruiser that we bought when she moved was put into my mom's name at the behest of my grandpa due to, again, my lack of driving.

I want to cry but when I try to or feel it about to happe nit literally makes me sick.

[tardis--dreams]

Me: I will finish my Bachelor degree by October :)

My professor: no ♡

[strangesmallbard]

okay i just watched an episode of call the midwife that made me abruptly confront several grief-related traumas at once and i feel the need to talk about them, like make everything exist outside my head and join the human experience, or something. please feel no obligation to read this or respond but if you're going through The Grief yourself, know you're not alone.

tw for death, cancer, suicide, alcoholism

i lost three people in a year, and didn't really get to say goodbye to any of them, and that's like? fucked up doesn't describe it LMAO. i lost my grandma and a work supervisor in june 2019, and my dad at the very beginning of 2020. my grandma died in her sleep; she was 89, so it wasn't unexpected, just sudden. she was very anxious toward the end of her life and we didn't have many meaningful conversations. i wasn't medicated or grown up enough to have those conversations, and mostly i wish i'd validated her deep anxiety about death and her anger at her own body when it stopped working. right now i'm acutely grieving her house - it was sold a year later, and i don't think i'll ever forgive my uncle for that.

my supervisor died by suicide. we weren't very close, but he had a strangely large place in my life - he was previously my college professor several years before and i chose that school because of his work in particular. he was also the first out gay person i saw at my school during orientation, and that memory's always stayed with me as i formed a community there.

the last time i saw him was a work event the night before (opening night of a play - i worked at a theatre company.) we sat next to each other and i noticed he seemed sad, tired, or off. i was annoyed with him about a work-related thing that doesn't matter anymore, but i was still friendly because i always try to be friendly. i hoped he was alright. a few days later, my other supervisor told me what happened. he was a kind-hearted guy who was passionate about his work and changed many, many lives for the better. i think about him a lot.

my internship ended right after this without much fanfare or Unpacking. i just left a grieving community and dived right into my first gig, basically running on fumes lmao. my internship was very, very toxic, and i wouldn't realize it for another year. i didn't think about my grandma or my supervisor. i spent the whole summer wanting to call my supervisor and talk to her about what happened. she came to watch closing night of my play, and we didn't talk about what happened. the next day, i plunged into a Huge Depression involving an alcohol dependency and eight seasons of house md.

as i vaguely began to exit my depression, my dad was deadass. DEADASS. diagnosed with stage four lung cancer from smoking cigarettes. like omg. DUDE? the last time i saw my dad was at my grandma's funeral!!!! fucking on the nose. anyway. he was diagnosed in early december 2019, after seeing a doctor for back problems. the back problems were several tumors. everything happened very quickly. the last time i saw my dad alive was in a hospital parking garage on december 24, 2019. we hugged goodbye, but not Goodbye. he was in a rush to get home because he was sick from radiation treatment. i don't remember our last conversation at all.

my mom and i got the call he was dying after i schlepped her to urgent care for a separate medical issue. my mom was too zonked to get on a plane, so i went to the airport. five minutes after i got there, i learned he passed. it was very crowded. i canceled the ticket while crying, and i didn't explain why i was crying. my lyft driver asked if i had a good trip. this now strikes me as hilarious. i learned that his family let him know i was coming. this was likely the last thing he heard. i can't really sum up my dad in a sentence, but he was brave in his own way, a great storyteller, and loved me very much. i wish he realized we had a lot in common, and i wish we had more time. thanks for the adhd dad

anyway, guess what happened in march 2020! yeah shit's been weird. most days i'm honestly fine, and then i remember i designed my dad's headstone (it looks banging) and he'll never meet any kids i have. in three months it'll be three years since we last spoke and i hate that. i'm a very different person, and i've only become this person because three people in my life died in the same ten months. my mom's also been sick and it's a very particular kind of lonely. wow this was cathartic! if you made it here, i love you. if you didn't, i love you! feel my love telepathically! i am 65 years old in vibes, especially if you count the osteoarthritis. i am also maybe 3 or 4 years old and i want a nap and snacks and my stuffed animals, etc.

[anditvanisheslikemist]

by surprise, part 3 of 4

As what was going to be the third and final part of this fic approached 5,000 words with more still to write, I decided that splitting it up was the way to go. So! Here's part 3 of what should now be 4 parts.

Hindsight ‘verse (AO3) but you don’t need any background. Nico/Matty, this new part is 2100 words. Not explicit yet, but will become so in Part 4.

Read the story so far: Part 1 Part 2

Part 3:

He tries to keep working after Izzy leaves. He really does. He has one window open with dates and quantities and notes about exceptions and special circumstances, and another with the spreadsheet that the food banks need by next week, and he's trying, trying to pull anything useful from the first and put it into the second but the screen keeps blurring in front of his eyes.

He buries his head in his hands and fights back frustrated tears. There's a nudge at his leg: Jupiter, looking very concerned.

"I'm okay," he tells her, but his voice is a mess and she doesn't seem to find it convincing at all.

His phone rings before he can either try harder on the convincing front or just give up entirely. Matty, on a video call. Nico shakes himself and tries to look more put together than he feels. "Hey."

"Hey," Matty says. He's got the phone in one hand and his sandwich in the other. "How're you holding up?"

Nico shrugs, and then has to turn away from the screen when a strong hh'ITCHHiu! comes out of nowhere. "Izzy left," he says, sniffling.

"Yeah, Jamie told me. She texted him when she was heading home." Matty takes a bite of his sandwich. "Seems like you're still at it, though."

"Trying," Nico says, and his eyes fill with tears again. "It's just…" He bites down on this lips to keep them from spilling. "Not really working."

Matty puts down his sandwich and leans in close, his face nothing but concern. "Babe."

"I'm okay," Nico says, even though the tears are winning now. "It's just…" He gestures at himself, not wanting to say the fever in case that will make it real, and sniffles some more.

"I don't think you're going to get any more work done," Matty says gently. "Time to call it a day?"

He works his lips between his teeth, not wanting to admit defeat, but his head hurts and his throat hurts and he can't breathe through his nose, and his eyes just keep watering without his permission. "Okay."

With a little more prodding, Nico messages his supervisor to say he'll be out sick the rest of the day and probably tomorrow. When he looks back at what he wrote, he finds three typos in as many sentences. Maybe that will just prove his point.

"Okay," he says again, and somehow it's like giving in has made him feel worse. He's shivering, which isn't right. It's plenty warm in here.

"Okay." Matty's voice is warm but insistent. "Fever check, meds, sleep."

He closes his eyes against the to-do list. "'s just a cold."

"Nic." Matty's the only one who gets to call him that, and it's intimate every time. "I can see you shivering from here."

"Wish you were here," he says, low and raw, eyes cast down.

"Me, too." Matty pauses, apparently listening to someone on the other side of the phone, and then nods. "Jamie's gonna cover for me as long as it's slow enough here at the end of the day. I can't leave now, but hopefully I'll be home a little early."

"Thanks, Jamie," Nico manages.

Jamie's face appears at the side of the screen, sympathetic. "Feel better, bud."

He nods, but he's fading fast.

"Sign off your computer," Matty says, because yeah, when he gets like this he needs someone— needs Matty— to take the lead. "There you go. Do you already have water? Good."

He trudges up the stairs and changes into pjs and takes his temperature with shaking hands.

"A hundred point eight," Matty reads aloud when Nico holds the thermometer up to the phone. "I'd've guessed higher."

"Me, too." His voice is a whisper, eyes closed standing up. "I feel bad." He'd like to be able to come up with better words, but he can't find any.

"Meds," Matty repeats. Then, once Nico takes them off the bathroom shelf: "Just painkillers? We've got some cold and flu meds somewhere…."

Nico shakes his head. Decongestants make him feel weird. Might be worth it at some point, but not now. He just needs something for the headache, and the sore throat, and the fever that's threatening to rise.

"Okay. You got it? Good."

From anyone else it would be patronizing, but from Matty it just feels like a solid handhold in shaky ground. Good, you're doing good, Matty says, and he makes it into bed.

"Sleep. I'll be home in a few hours. Love you."

"Love you, too." -

He doesn't actually get to sleep before the first problem presents itself: his nose won't stop running. Like, at all. He'd pulled the curtains closed before he got into bed, so the room is dim, the afternoon light just barely spilling in around the edges. He sits up and his head spins and he coughs for a while and it spins some more, but eventually the world steadies enough for him to get up and shuffle to the bathroom. He pulls out a hand towel from the linen closet, then stops at his dresser; he's got quite a collection of handkerchiefs in his top drawer. He pulls out the stack of the plain cotton ones and brings the whole thing back to bed. Double-checks that the tissue box on his nightstand is full and pulls it onto the bed as well. Thankfully he doesn't have to go searching for a trashcan. Given how many tissues he goes through even when he's not sick, they keep it on his side of the bed. It's very intentionally tall enough to fit an entire box's worth of discarded tissues. Because that's how some days go.

Like today, apparently.

He coughs some more and rubs at his face, hissing when he hits his raw nose. The Aquaphor is still on his nightstand from this morning. Thank god. It's the only thing he's found that really works for keeping his nose and upper lip from cracking when things get bad.

By the time he's done with that, Luna has appeared at the door. "C'mere," he murmurs, patting the bed, and she jumps up beside him. Yes, she'll probably make him a little sneezier and stuffier when he's already this sensitive (allergy shots and diligent cleaning and the benefits of long-term exposure only go so far), but at this point, he'll gladly trade that for her comfort and warmth.

He lays down the hand towel on his pillow, and a handkerchief on top of it, and then a second layer of handkerchief for good measure, and finally lets himself sink down into the bed. Luna curls up at his hip, and this time doesn't run when his breath catches and he directs a wet chhhh'shiew! toward the towel-and-handkerchief setup, then sniffles his way into a doubled-up h'TSCH, hehhh…CHUU!

He pulls out three tissues and blows his nose as hard as he can, then tosses the tissues and settles back onto the pillow. His nose is already running again, and he wipes it with the handkerchief that's now anchored under his head, and then he's asleep.

-

He must've half-consciously heard Jupiter's excited noises when Matty came in, because it doesn't come as a complete surprise when the bed sinks and there's a hand at his forehead, followed by a kiss.

"Hey." Matty's voice is quiet, his hand at Nico's back.

Nico tries to say "hey" back, but it just sets him coughing again, which makes an absolute mess of his already-running nose, but he's wrapped the blankets tightly around himself to try to fight off the chill, so—

"You're okay." Matty sweeps his hand under the towel on the pillow so that he can bring it, and the handkerchiefs, up to cover Nico's cough and gently pinch away the mess at his nose. The slight pressure makes his breath hitch again, but he doesn't sneeze like he's expecting, just coughs and coughs. "Okay, let's sit you up—"

The world tilts unpleasantly but a second later he's being held steady against Matty's side, head resting against his shoulder, and it's easier to breathe.

"You're home," Nico says once he's gone through a dozen tissues and the well-used handkerchiefs are in a careful ball on the floor.

"I'm home. Apparently nobody has any writing assignments due tomorrow." He brushes Nico's hair back off his forehead to check his temperature again. "Either that or they're all going to show up right before the writing center closes and Jamie's going to be swamped."

Nico hums— as well as he can through a blocked nose— and then turns his head away, just a little, for a spraying tch'SCHHHew!

"Bless you," Matty murmurs into his hair, and hands him another couple of tissues, and then a third when those aren't enough. "This cold is a fucking miserable one, huh?"

"You're gonna get it if you're not careful," Nico says, but it's muffled against Matty's flannel shirt.

"Think that ship has sailed. I'll be okay." Matty rubs his back some more, until he's caught his breath and he can go a whole thirty seconds without blowing his nose. "You want me to get Luna to come downstairs?" He switches to rubbing at Nico's chest. "Sounds like you're starting to wheeze."

Frustration blooms, again, at the way his body won't just do its fucking job. Or, in the case of his immune response, won't do its job just a normal fucking amount. "Yeah, it's probably time."

Matty kisses his temple and gets up to hand Nico his inhaler and then to coax Luna out of the room while Nico lays out another handkerchief on the hand towel on his pillow. At first, it doesn't seem like she's going to leave— and he appreciates her loyalty, but not her dander— but Matty disappears and then there's the sound of a bag of cat treats being shaken, and she's out of the room in a flash.

Matty comes back upstairs and sits up beside him in bed, talking through his day until the combination of the eased breathing from the inhaler and just having Matty there, knowing he's not alone anymore, pulls him under again.

-

"Nico."

He makes a congested sound of protest at being awake.

"Sorry. You should eat, though. And it's probably time for some more meds, yeah?"

"Too cold," he mutters, burrowing deeper under the covers. "Not hungry."

"Okay, well, there's going to be food, so do you want to eat in bed?"

"No." He sighs dramatically. He knows that part of his current objection to life in general is that he does need food, even if nothing sounds appealing. "Fine. I'll come downstairs."

-

He stays upright long enough to eat the soup Matty had gotten from the deli on his way home. It's spicy and steamy and it makes his nose stream, but in a way that actually seems to clear his sinuses out, at leas for the moment.

Matty brings him the bottle of painkillers, and then opens it for him when Nico tries but his fingers ache too much to wrestle off the cap. "What do you think, are you ready for the decongestants yet?"

He considers it, and settles on, "No, the steam's helping."

"Sounds like a hot shower would be a good next step." Matty takes his hand and rubs his thumb against Nico's. "And then bed."

Nico drops his head onto his own arm. "It's not even 7:30."

"Pretty sure your cold doesn't know how to tell time."

He grumbles at that but lets Matty run his free hand through his hair. "Give me a minute."

"So you can fall asleep on the table?"

He nods. Food helped, but now he's just impossibly tired, and somehow even more aware of his headache than before. "Gotta let the meds kick in."

Matty hums. "Couch, while you wait?" When he gets a nod, he pulls Nico to his feet and walks him to the living room. "I'm going to go clean up, okay?"

Nico bites down on his lips as his eyes fill with tears again.

"Not okay. Got it. Come here." Matty leans back against the arm of the couch and pulls Nico to lie against him, then covers them both with the blanket from the back of the couch. "Better?"

h'tCHMPH! Muffled into the blanket. "Better."

There's a box of tissues on the side table, because anywhere he lives is going to have one in every room. At least. Matty hands him a few and then pulls the box onto the couch with them while Nico's blowing his nose. "Take your time. We've got nowhere to be."

Part 4 to come!

[mrs-han]

My second piece for @mysme-rbb !

This is a collab piece with https://mobile.twitter.com/sofia_gaglione or golden-heart! Here’s her Twitter!

~~~

"Jaehee? Are you with me?"

You couldn't ignore the faraway look in your partner's eyes. Jaehee stared off into the distance, the light in her eyes gone and replaced with a dull glow. Her hands lay deathly still on her coffee mug, and her breathing was stiff - as if she was afraid of breathing too hard or too much.

"Jaehee," you said calmly, reaching over to rub your thumbs over her knuckles. "Jaehee, talk to me..."

"What day is it," she asked raspily, licking her dry lips.

"It's Saturday."

"... I need to head over to the office," Jaehee spoke as she stood, the heel of one of her shoes popping out of her foot.

"What? What do you mean? It's Saturday," you frowned, grabbing her before she could stumble any further. "And you just left the office earlier this morning! What could Jumin possibly want with you now?"

"He needs me to finalize some documents and create new ones," Jaehee sighed, her life oozing from her body. "At this rate, I'm beginning to forget what we're working on or what we're doing."

"Jumin is running you into the ground," you exclaimed, your face contorting. "He acts like the company isn't making any money right now. Seriously, what is his motive?"

"He wants to stay as productive as possible," Jaehee spoke gently, running her hands over her face. "I think he's trying to distract himself from his father's latest affair."

You scoffed. "Pff, whatever is going wrong with him and his father isn't any of your business."

"I know," Jaehee grinned, placing her and on your wrist. "I know you mean well, too. Give it until the end of this week. Mr. Han will have calmed down."

"Jaehee, forgive me for saying so, but I don't think you can last a week."

Just as she was about to form a rebuttal, her phone rang loudly on the table. You peeked and frowned deeply - Jumin Han himself.

"Let me answer it."

"No," Jaehee mouthed, pulling her phone from you. "Yes, Mr. Han? Yes, I'm aware of our meeting. Well, I... I'm on my way to you right now. Yes. Yes. Elizabeth the Third... yes, I did feed her the right amount of food the other day. Well, you know how active she is; that could have contributed to the scale's miscalculation."

Are you kidding me? You mouthed.

I'm sorry, Jaehee mouthed back to you, gathering her keys and folders into her hands, blowing a kiss in your direction. "Yes, Mr. Han. I'm on my way. I'm... yes. I'm on my way."

You crossed your arms over your chest and stared at Jaehee's still-full coffee cup. She couldn't even come to enjoy the little things in life thanks to her boss, and you were growing sick and tired of his nonsense. While you had limited options in the matter, you were tired of seeing Jaehee in a zombie-like state because of her relentless boss.

Still, it wasn't like there was anything you could do about it at that moment. You paid for your coffee and hers before gathering your things and making your way to your shared apartment. You would try to convince her to pursue her dreams when she returned home. Hell, you would even create a dartboard with Jumin's face at the center so that she could relieve some stress.

~~~

Pulling a rotisserie chicken from the oven, you gently set it at the table. You placed your hands triumphantly on your hips. Jaehee would be home in half an hour or less, and you were ready to treat your queen like a queen. You weren't afraid to go all out for your lady. Two glasses of champagne paired with another two glasses of water sat next to fine china displayed with more ostentation than you thought you had inside of you. You had even made some vegetables on the side, and you wouldn't talk to her about the burnt smell of potatoes that wafted through the air... she would figure that out for herself.

Sitting intently, you checked your watch and shook your legs, a bright smile on your face. Not too long now.

However... the gleeful expression on your face changed as half an hour turned into an hour. Then an hour and a half.

You shook your head and bounced your knee, staring at your phone in your fit of anxiety. The only reason she would ever come home late was only ever because of Jumin.

Freaking Jumin.

You stood and grabbed the rotisserie chicken with plans to warm it up when Jaehee walked through the door. Her face was red, her eyes swollen, and her hand over her nose, alerting you immediately.

"Jaehee!" You exclaimed, opening your arms.

When she didn't so much as tiredly saunter your way, your concern grew.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Jaehee sniffed, her gaze cast downward and her shoulders low.

"What happened," you encouraged, placing your hands on her shoulders. "Tell me what's going on..."

"Ah," Jaehee attempted raising her voice to convince you that all was well, or rather, all was as well as it could be. "I had a rather... tough night tonight, that's all..."

"Did Jumin do this?" You demanded.

"No," she lied. "No, I didn't realize how -"

"Jaehee," you stopped her. "Don't try to hide anything from me. Tell me, did Jumin do this?"

She hesitated, instantly answering your question. You bit the inside of your lip, stopping yourself from letting out a string of curse words.

"It isn't Mr. Han personally," Jaehee mumbled, easing her jacket from her shoulders. "It's... hah, you can see it, can't you?"

Your brows knit together. "How stressed out you are? How overwhelmed you've been?"

"I was a fool to think I could hide it so easily from you," she tried to smile, only creating a grim line across her face. "I'm sorry. I never wanted to burden you with what happens at work."

Gripping her shoulders, you practically forced her to face you. "Your well-being is never a burden for me, Jaehee. How could you think that?"

"I'm sorry," she hiccupped, cupping her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry."

"Sit down," your tone softened as you eased her into a chair. "Sit. I made dinner for us. You know what I want you to do right here and now?"

Jaehee's eyes looked at you expectantly. Still, you couldn't ignore the exhaustion behind them.

"I want you to tell me what the past week has been like for you at C&R. Just this past week, that's all I need to know."

"Where do I begin," Jaehee laughed as you placed a chicken leg on her plate.

"Monday," you smiled.

You didn't expect Jaehee would talk to you for over three hours. You didn't expect her cavalcade of tears, nor did you expect for her to rant, something she usually would never do.

She couldn't stop herself, and for a good reason - the woman had a lot going on. Meetings lasting throughout the day only to have a thirty or so minute lunch, which was still interrupted; ongoing projects that seemed to come out of nowhere planned based upon the mood of her supervisor; nights upon nights sitting at a desk, causing her back to be sore and her fingers already beginning the process of arthritis.

Even the air conditioning in the office started to become bothersome to her, as it was so chilly, she had to start bringing blankets to work.

She didn't have time for herself anymore, and you knew it. Jaehee sobbed as she talked about feeling out of shape, her weekly judo pursuits a thing of the past. She wailed about her skin and how it has lost its luster. She had gone so far as to complain about how bland the coffee at the office had tasted because she didn't have time to put on a fresh pot.

Your dear partner was so exhausted and run down that, as soon as she had processed what she had been through, she instantly fell asleep, her head on your lap.

It was difficult for you to process all of her words fully. The longer she talked, the more blind rage you experienced, your cheeks a hot red and your pupils narrowed. You managed to sit through her tirade without interruption, only to let out a gasp or two... yet, you couldn't just sit there and allow such injustice to continue against your Jaehee.

The sun had comfortably set over the horizon, and you had no doubt the perpetrator behind her sorrows still sat at his desk. An idea flashed through your mind, one that would likely get you in serious trouble and possibly ban you from the C&R building indefinitely. Still, the very conception of it made you smile.

Setting Jaehee down tenderly against the couch and placing a blanket over her wearied form, you threw a jacket over yourself and quietly left the apartment.

~~~

The following morning started as regularly as Jaehee was used to. She rolled casually off the couch and quickly refreshed herself as she had another day to spend at the office. She called for you and, with no answer, she put on a pot of coffee for you to enjoy instead. You were a restless soul and were probably out running errands or whatnot. Nevertheless, she was grateful to you for listening to her open up. It was certainly something she wasn't used to doing.

She slipped on her shoes and mustered up the courage to push the door open, only to be greeted by a call from the big boss himself.

"Good morning, Mr. Han -"

"Where are you right now," Jumin demanded, his tone clipped and irritated.

"I'm... on my way to the office right now. Why, what's the matter?"

"I need you to hurry up. Understood? Make your way here as soon as possible."

"Mr. Han, what's going on -"

"There's been a break-in."

Jaehee froze and began to jog lightly. "Yes, sir. I'm on my way right now."

"What is missing," Jumin demanded, his tone further away from the phone.

"So far, Mr. Han, everything is in its place -"

"In its place? Look around you, gentlemen. Nothing is in its place."

"Mr. Han, I'm on my way right now -"

"Hurry up."

As soon as Jumin disconnected the call, Jaehee went into a full sprint, her heels miraculously driving her to the C&R building. She stormed past security and through to the busy elevators, out of breath and forehead glistening with sweat. As soon as she reached her boss's floor, her shaky breath called his name - and he appeared like a heavy cloud. His aura radiated that of a disgruntled, frustrated young man, not afraid to throw a tantrum at any moment.

"Mr. Han, are you all right?"

"I am. Investigators are searching the place as we speak."

"What happened -" Jaehee began. As she took a step into Jumin's office, she let out an audible gasp. His desk was toppled over; papers were scattered everywhere, lamp hoods were placed atop the fish tank, furniture was turned upside down, and poorly drawn stick figures were etched on Jumin's desk.

"What... on earth..."

Jumin crossed his arms tightly over his chest. "Assistant Kang. Fortunately, your office wasn't taken over by this bandit."

"Is that so," Jaehee mumbled, her eyes still scanning Jumin's room.

"This has a few meanings behind it. One, I offended a client. Two, I offended a friend. Do you think Zen is the one behind this?"

"While Zen isn't entirely fond of you, Mr. Han, I doubt he would physically come to your office."

With that, Jaehee's phone rang in her hand.

"Answer it," Jumin sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "It could have something to do with the merger we're doing with G-Corp in Indonesia."

"Yes, Mr. Han." She sighed and answered. "Yes, this is Jaehee Kang -"

"Jaehee," your voice came through. "Jaehee, are you at work right now?"

"Ah... yes, I am," Jaehee's tone softened. "But I can't talk to you right now. We have an emergency at Mr. Han's office."

"So you saw it?" Your tone lifted.

Jaehee paused. "Saw it?"

Jumin cast his eyes down towards his assistant and furrowed his brows.

"I couldn't get over how upset you were last night. I wanted to take matters into my own hands, so! I snuck into Jumin's office and! Let's just say you may have a day or two off while things get cleaned up!"

"Excuse me?" Jumin's sharp voice pressed.

Jaehee stood frozen, her mouth open and her eyes wide.

"... He's there with you right now, isn't he," you asked, the happiness in your voice now withdrawn.

"You destroyed my office?" Jumin urged, his voice closer to the phone.

"... Yup. Do I have your attention now, Jumin?"

Jaehee closed her eyes and folded her lips, still in disbelief.

"Attention? You did all this for my attention? I could press charges towards you because of the damage you created," Jumin chided.

"Sure, you could do that," you spoke nonchalantly. "But I thought you were a rational man. Don't you want to know the motives behind my rampage?"

"I have an idea," Jumin uttered, staring down at his assistant.

"Do you realize how much pain you've been causing her this past week alone, Jumin?"

Jumin scoffed. "She's my assistant. When I need her -"

"She's your assistant. Therefore, you should strive to take good care of her so that she doesn't faint again. I thought you learned from what happened the last time she collapsed. I honestly thought you were smarter than that."

"Are you scolding me?" Jumin huffed.

"I don't care how you take it. You need to be kinder to that lady, or else I'll convince her to leave your company for good. And I mean it, Jumin. We both know you can't survive without her."

Jaehee exhaled; she didn't know she was holding her breath.

Jumin shook his head. "... Fine. I'll talk to her. But you owe me for the damage done to my office."

"And you owe me for all the time you've taken away from Jaehee."

"Then I would owe her. Not you."

"Can the two of you please stop bickering," Jaehee heaved. "Mr. Han, I'll get the janitors in so they can clean this mess."

Jumin placed his hand on his hip. "You should convince your partner to come in. Should she agree, I won't press charges."

"You love having the last word, don't you," you said sarcastically.

"You two will truly be the death of me," Jaehee whispered, grabbing her belongings.

[messinwitheddie]

i know this isnt even remotely realistic but i imagined soxx and the master pak techs being like a group of rowdy teenagers and their curmudgeonly guardian trying to corral them lmao. they witness a sick burn and start howling and running around, overreacting, while soxx roars "NO! do NOT encourage them!"

Vroog "I probably won't get to speak to a master PAK tech until I earn my internship on the Massive. I haven't met any of the master PAK techs on KryptKiiPur-1 yet. That's the death factory planet stationed closest to Irk. They work in the control brain chambers. That's all the way down towards the factory's core, from what my mortuary trainer tells me.

I started the hands-on portion of my training on the autopsy line. That's just below the surface. I've never seen the purple brain in person. Sometimes you can hear him processing or singing. No drone employed on a death factory planet is permitted to speak above a whisper, so it's easy to hear the purple brain when you're lost in thought. I like it when I can hear him. He sounds lonely to me though...

Occasionaly we do have "freaks outs" in the factory. When an Irken is demoted for poor performance in one job, the red brain will assign them another job involving something they hate, dread or fear. Some of our part time help are not mortuary students. They've just been assigned here to do grunt work because they fear the thought or sight of death (cleaning the industrial crematoriums and the conveyor belts, sorting corpses at drop off, placing cadavers back on the assembly lines if they flop off. Stuff like that). My trainer calls these squeamish drones "squeamees". They have to be rounded up, disciplined and drug back to their post if they have a bad episode. I wish I knew what to say to make the squeamees more at ease on the factory floor.

Personally, I like the job so far. It's peaceful, but fast paced. Some of the sights and smells take getting used to, but my stomach is stronger than my supervisors expect. Most of other mortuary drones and entry level PAK techs are a really outgoing, friendly swarm of drones. During our personal hours off, they all shoot off to Foodcourtia or Casino Major or wherever for snacks, shopping and videogames. Being around death so much actually encourages us to go out and live when our schedules permits it. I was actually invited to go crater sliding and wing diving on the surface at the end of this shift by a bunch of my co-students. Sounds terrifying; can't wait!

I better not talk too much about it or my trainer will lecture us. He's served on KryptkiiPur-1 for centuries. He's due for a promotion. If he gets encoded as one of the master PAK techs, I will ask him what it's like below with the purple brain... Now I'm really curious myself.

[luvdsc]

Hey Cat!! I hope you're doing well as always ! 💖 AHHHH huhu I closed the form last Sunday since I've collected enough responses dy! (NOOOOOOOO ToT) I got a total of 221 responses at the end of the week, which is 3x the amount I initially needed! :o I'm beyond grateful and appreciative ToT I've cleaned the data and have proceeded to run some data analysis, but I ran into an issue whereby the scores on the subscales are equal (it has never been reported in past studies! :O) so I'm waiting for my supervisor's feedback on how to proceed. Hopefully it's nothing too serious ToT

Hehe finance is interesting indeed! I just started reading a book on finance for young adults (Rich Dad Poor Dad) and I look forward to learning more from the author's tips! The Coursera introductory course has also made financial terms a lil more familiar, even though it's just the basics and it's really helped w my financial literacy 🥺 I can push myself to study but it's also the numbers and calculations I'm worried of cuz I am rly a nong (idiot) when it comes to numbers * - * it runs in the genes I guess AHAHAHAHA my mom and sister aren't good at numbers either keke

Aww I'm glad yr professor made financial accounting enjoyable and a fruitful experience for you! Some lecturers / professors rly just have that spark in them to inspire ppl and I'm blessed to be surrounded by a bunch of em in the psych department!🥺😭 it truly makes a difference and I'm sure we both are living proofs of that!

After debating for a while, I've decided not to take a minor mainly because I'm so tired HAHAHAHAHAHA and I'll just do my own self-studying and exploration whilst working! Go out and explore the world, live life! Whilst ironically still staying in my room because of the COVID-19 situation in our country (cases are abt 20+k every day :') ) My proposal has been finalized and it's been accepted! It's just that some elements of my proposal is also part of my actual report, so I have some guidance to refer to in terms of structure! :3 and yes don't worry! I got plenty (sometimes a lil too much) rest during the sem break whilst remaining productive! Plus, I got to catch up w some friends and had game nights (maybe too much of game nights hehe) and movie nights w my friends which was truly refreshing! Also cuz I might not see a lot of them again after we graduate so we gotta cherish every moment 🥺😭

I'm a freelance graphic designer for my uni's newsletter! Occasionally, they'd ask us to create both the content and design! I'll place the link to my recent work below if you wanna check it out! UwU I'm trying to incorporate the same practices during sem break in my last sem (current sem) too! cuz yes mental health is so so important and I'm just tired of being academically tired you get me? :(

What makes me most trilled abt learning abt psychology is how to apply it in daily life too! I find it so fascinating and awestruck at how relatable and within reach these things are like wow we can be influenced in such ways?? :o can be both good and bad but imma stick w seeing it as the development and evolution of us humans UwU

Also, the vaccine has fixed my sleep schedule HEHE (another perk of getting vaccination :3) I got some rly good rest and managed to reset my usual sleeping time, thank you science ToT oooo I see I see, we've had cases of nurses injecting empty syringes hence the recording :( but GHIOGHWEOGIOHW I could never do that, I can feel the liquid entering me as it is so that's good enough ToT (* plays Love Talk * I can feel it coming)

OMG YOUR ART PIECES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE AND ELEGANT! 💖🥺🥰 it must've required a lot of hard-work and effort AHHH thankiew for showing me yr work!! it's truly unique in its own manner despite it's simplicity UwU is there a reason or backstory to yr chosen theme and objects? :3

I just Googled Somi Somi and omg that's such an UwU ice cream AHHHH 💖🥺😭 ice cream is my fav food of all time and it looks like an ice cream haven omg imagine eating it after a loooong hard day's of work ToT and OMG THE SATISFACTION OF EATING THAI MILK TEA ICE CREAM ON A HOT DAY YASSS 😋🤤 hehe if you get the chance to try milk & biscoff, do try it! It's amazing !😍 and ooo i haven't tried alcoholic ice cream before but I will one day!! :3 my alcohol tolerance is rly low though, will I get tipsy over alcoholic ice cream? We shall see UwU (i can only drink half a bottle of apple cider before my face gets red and I start getting a lil tipsy + headache)

and lovie....knowing yr school schedule now...OURS IS DEFINTELY BRUTAL OMG a 3 month long sem break huhu that's only the total amount of sem breaks we get in a year ToT i thought uni was hard but not that hard ToT

Always glad and honored to have you onboard! and AHAHAHAH the contractions about to start soon 👀 I enjoy talking to you huhu you're such a sweet and supportive person 💖🥺🥰😙 huhu for my period cramps, I've been having them since I was 12 ToT my doctor prescribed me some panadols but sometimes I can't even swallow them cuz I'd puke them out ToT I've settled w heatpacks to reduce my reliance on medicine, but I finally got some upgraded and safe to eat medicine from my gynae! She said it's fine to take it every month to keep my womb healthy and apparently my ms. lil uterus is suffering from inflammation, hence the super crazy bedridden cramps :( the upgraded medicine worked for a while, but after time it kinda didn't help either :/ but I realised that exercise rly does wonders to reduce the cramp too (gynae also recommended exercising) so i take walks and do my back stretches more frequently now! my period in the previous months (2 months ago) have been almost painless and bearable, it's so weird not seeing my bedridden ._. when I was in high school, there would always be a day in every month in which I don't attend classes, and that's solely because of my cramps. It just isn't worth suffering in school, plus we don't have a sick room :/ I hope the pain continues to subside! ToT

And ayy internship is also working experience, yr advice would be of great help to me regardless! 🥺 oh yes, I always remind myself that interviews are similar to the speaking test I took for my Cambridge English exams! That kinda help calm my nerves down a lil, but w nerves comes bigger smiles, so I guess it takes on a rather practical form of coping mechanism (sublimation) AHAHAHAHA

WAAAA WHAT A QUEEN you got an offer from every interview?? I aspire to be like you! 💖🥺🥰 huhu skill wise I believe I have lots to prepare esp in terms of case studies, and I perform rly poorly on certain assessments (*ehem * esp those concerning numbers) so I took the chance to study a lil during sem break too ToT but noted on that! I will work on that too and try to maintain that me element in interviews and overall just be myself keke

That's all from me for now! Imma wait for my supervisor's feedback and journey on w my last semester. Bon voyage! Link to my recent work: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTBqGzjr6sN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Other works: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPpv-IyM7Gi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CL55EG-MbL2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

hi hello honey bee !!! 💓 omg i'm so sorry for the belated response, i finally got on my laptop 😭 i'm gonna put my response under the cut since it got a little long 🤧

omg 221 responses !!!!! that's so many 🙀 congratulations aaaaa it's amazing that you were able to get 3x the data you needed !!! was it difficult to run data analysis? were you able to solve the issue with the equal scores on the subscales? i hope it didn't create too much additional work for you ):

omg yes finance is really interesting! i enjoyed the classes i took for it :') how is rich dad poor dad? did you learn a lot from it? i know it was a book my prof recommended, but i never got around to reading it 😶 did you learn any helpful tips? and ooo i'll have to look into coursera! yeah, there's quite a lot of terms for finance, and it can be a little intimidating paired with all the math formulas and such, but it's pretty useful imo! how are your financial studies going so far? 💕 omg nong is such a cute word?? i would never think it meant idiot asdkfhlkajsdf omg my whole family is good at numbers and really like math, but i didn't like it 😭 my mom made me study it a lot everyday though rip are the financial calculations getting easier for you as you practice more hopefully?

yessss omg i absolutely agree with this!!!! like you can just feel when a professor loves to teach and is genuinely so excited to talk about their subject, and it just makes the most boring horrible subject into something you learn to enjoy and hate less :') and i'm really happy to hear you have tons of professors like that in the psych department 🥺💗

that's great to hear!!!! 🌷🌷 i'm glad that you're prioritizing yourself and your health, which is so much more important than taking on a minor. what fun subjects have you decided to explore and self study so far? 💞 oh my gosh, the rising cases are so high?? i hope it's gotten better there for you ): are you able to go outside yet?

big congratulations on your proposal being finalized and accepted, lovebug !!!! 🥳🥳 i'm very proud of you and hoping one day i can read your published studies in a scientific journal :') aaaa i'm so glad to hear that you got to rest and enjoy your time with your friends!! i definitely feel that omg i regret all the times i skipped out on movie nights or game nights with my friends because now we're all scattered across the country and the only way we can have them again is over zoom calls 🤧

I SAW YOUR DESIGNS AND THEY'RE GORGEOUS OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH !!!! 💖 I'M IN AWE AAAA IF PSYCH DOESN'T WORK OUT, I HOPE YOU BECOME A GRAPHIC DESIGNER 🤩🤩💖 and yes i totally get it ): i really felt the academic burn out when i was in college and it was really difficult at times 🤧 but i hope it's going better for you nowadays, sweetpea 💝💝

omg yeah i absolutely agree !!!! whenever i read about psychology, i keep it in the back of my mind and then when i see something irl that relates to it, i'm like :O amazing. it's so cool to learn about different psych tricks too and see how it works when you test them out yourself and whatnot. and it's really crazy to see how the human brain is so easily influenced at times ??? it truly is an amazing subject !!!

ah what a great side benefit of the vaccine - a better sleep schedule 🤩 i'm happy to hear that your schedule has been fixed 💘 and omg what ??? they're injecting empty syringes wth ????? 😭 that's absolutely horrible, are they getting sued?? lmaooooo that love talk reference askdfhlaksjd

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KIND COMPLIMENTS 😭😭💗💗 there were many late hours spent in the art studio to finish them, but i'm really happy with the end products :') i thought light bulbs are an interesting subject to do, and my prof said that cutting out circular objects or sculpting them is the most difficult since they're made up curves and not straight lines and i was like ok bet i'm gonna do it aND I'M SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THEM 🥺 and i love honey bees !!! that's why i decided to paint them and we were supposed to paint them in a combined style of two artists so i tried monet's impressionist style with the short brush strokes and pop art triptych style like marjorie strider 💕

somi somi is sooo good and i just had it again a couple weeks ago :') omg ice cream is your favorite food? :o and YES ice cream is so satisfying after a long day of hard work, like it's such a nice reward to look forward to at the end of day ✨ aaaaa i have to try thai milk tea ice cream one day now !!!!! it sounds amazing 🤩 and YES i must look for places that sell milk & biscoff ice cream !! i have milk ice cream from somi somi, but i need to try to combined flavors 💘 i don't think you'll get tipsy over it !!! it's a really faint taste of alcohol, like i didn't even notice it at first, and i don't think they put very much of it in there! aksljdfhals omg you're a lightweight :o at least that means you save money on alcohol LOL i need like nine shots to get drunk 🤧

your school is too hard 😭 you need more than just 3 months of break !!! 😡 we get a week off for thanksgiving in fall semester and a week off for spring break in spring semester too and then the month long winter break and three month summer break. and we have the one day holidays off too like labor day, memorial day, etc. i can't believe they give you so little time off after working so hard???

asdfhlkajshdlksja loool are the contractions over yet? has it been born? what's the current status, doctor? 👀 i really enjoy talking to you too !!! i'm very sorry for the late responses, work is really taking over all of my time, and i never have enough time to get on my laptop to reply to my asks 😭 and thank you for saying such kind things about me 🥺🥺💝 oh my gosh, i'm so sorry to hear that you have such terrible cramps 😭 i can't even imagine going through that - mine are nowhere near as horrible 😖 do the heatpads help a lot? i'm relieved to hear that you were prescribed better medication though! but yeah, your body does eventually get used to the medication and you have to continue taking stronger meds for it to work, but that's not a very healthy solution /: but i'm really glad to hear that exercise has been helping out a lot!! 💖 hurray for almost painless and bearable periods 🥳 i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that in high school ): that sounds absolutely horrible 😭 periods are just awful, but it's like i'm grateful that i have my period because that means i'm not pregnant, but also please go away aslkhdfaklsj

omg what was the speaking test for the cambridge english exams like? :o it sounds so formal and a lil intimidating askdjfhalsd do you know of any psych tricks that can possibly help calm your nerves? :')

aaaa yes i did !! i was really surprised that i got an offer from them all because at the time, i was not in the right major and i think i was one of the most underqualified applicants 🤧 one person who interviewed me asked why i withdrew from my engr physics class and i explained it in a kinda funny way but in my head, i was like "oof i'm not gonna get this offer anymore" but then he laughed at my response and told me about how his prof told him he should drop a guitar class he was taking because he was doing very poorly and we bonded over that aklsjdhfkals omg how do interviews for psych jobs go? do you have to discuss a lot of case studies? do they give you a list of possible case studies they'll ask about? :o what sort of assessments do you have to do? good luck on all of your interviews, honey bee 💛 i'm rooting for you, you're gonna do amazing !!!! 💘

omg what did your supervisor say about your case study? and how is your last semester going? are you almost done now? 🌸 (also how have you been? what have you been up to? thank you for taking the time to leave such detailed messages for me, i'm really excited to see all the fun updates in your life, lovebug 🌷🌷)

[indigo474]

letting go again and again 52322-

I still do not feel 100%. My head feels not right. I don't know if its allergies- my lymph nodes are slightly swollen , my throat doesnt hurt per se- i can't even explain it- all i know is i feel not sick but not 100% well. I took motrin 2x today, hoping i would feel better. - No- the same. My titties hurt and i have a pain on my right side- hormones or i'm dying.

Mondays kind of suck at work.. busy busy busy and the 1 thing people hate more than being cold is being hot. My supervisor was around all day today-mostly at his desk. i think the world of him, i am learning a lot. I noticed today he was working on his other job at his computer and the calls he was making were about his other job. I can't blame him- he turns it on when he has to. He approached me today regarding people and their break time. He said heads were going to roll. They didn't. I like to think i cracked the office code- reports- there is a report for everything- look good on the report- its a numbers game. i swear a huge part of why i am where i am is because im never late- for anything- clocking in, lunch, breaks.. It's not that hard. Some people can not get it together. Also- you want to stay under the radar.. i can probably count on 1 hand the amount of times i've transferred a customer to a supervisor- they want to know you can work independently- i can't remember the last time i transfered a customer. Even if they tell me they want to speak to a supervisor- i handle it.I can do everything a super can do, i just do not have the title. I had a bit of trouble with a customer on Saturday.I could have been a little more empathetic. It was the first hot day and people were mad. she said she was going to cancel her account over something stupid. I had to right an email to another department and blah blah blah-- she accused me of lying to her. it was a bad phone call and i fear my name will be brought up. I am human and i wasnt mean- i could have been nicer.

I've said it once and i'll say it forever- healing is about letting go- who i am who i thought i was.. an endless cycle- but how many times does the same thing have to be let go of? As many times as it takes right? I am letting go of the belief that i am somehow not worthy of all the beauty this world has to offer. i've always been more than worthy but somehow along the way i was conditioned to believe certain thing about myself. things that were never true- told to me by people who didn't love themselves. I deserve to me loved for exactly who i am right now just because. I deserve to be seen and heard and understood. i think about what i tolerated in my life- i could would will never tolerate what i once did. i am going to have to date at some point in my life if i want to potentially meet someone. I'm not so much worried about meeting toxic men- i mean i know they exist obviously. I am more concerned about meeting a man who is exactly what i deserve and me freaking out because i don't know what to do. Ive never been in a healthy adult relationship and i have no idea what that feels like or how that works or anything and yeah I pray God blesses me with what i deserve... heaven will sing. still lots to learn.. always

Mads ditched school today but she seems a little better. She opened up a savings account and is happy about that. she shared with me that she wants to be a police dispatcher. its been a long time since she said she wanted to be anything- a lawyer, cop and now a dispatcher. i was proud of myself about how i handled her outburst. the pandemic was hard on her. everything has been hard for her.

[unknowngenius85]

Incoming Rant

Great things are happening. I am part of a production company now that I am set designer, researcher, and script supervisor for now. I just got a lead role in a period adventure thriller film, and another important role in another thriller. I'm also going to the Monster Party in Arizona and meeting my favorite horror actor, Jeffery Combs from my favorite horror movie Reanimator courtesy of my awesome partner. I should be happy right?

Then there are the not so great things that have lead me into a spiral.

My old agent/ business partner died a few days ago after I got the lead role and she was verbally abusive towards me the entire time I worked with her. She told me I wouldn't be taken seriously in the entertainment field unless I wore a full face of makeup and a dress every day. I had to to mask heavily and was screamed at daily and wanted to kill myself daily.

When she died, I was honestly relieved because it meant I would never have to deal with her again. However, the people I had told how she treated me/ had seen her abuse towards me for themselves have started talking about her like she was some kind of fucking saint. That was a slap in the face to me and I've been deeply depressed for days.

I was starting to get better...till this morning. I let my dog out and my neighbors dogs were out too and her little dogs always go after her. I told her I was sorry and she just went OFF.

She was saying "Its been years and I'm fucking sick of this! Stop fucking apologizing and check if my dogs are out before you let yours out! You can't fucking keep doing the same thing! That's the definition of insanity, you fucking BITCH!! Also get your dog away from the fence like I fucking do!! " My mind went into a spiral and I just started SOBBING once I got poor Emily, my dog in the house after she went potty.

My other neighbor and I bonded over this whole situation and apparently the other woman is just a two faced bitch. I'll do as she asks but I'm not going to bother talking to her unless I ask if I can come outside. FUCK HER. I honestly hope Karma gets her and quick. My mom is mad at her and is going to put a tarp up so the dogs don't have to see each other and this shit won't happen again.

Everyone I talked to about this mornings confrontation agrees that her reaction was straight up uncalled for. Especially my partner and my Mom.

I'm a bit better now that I have written it all down. I don't like loud noises or yelling, it is a really bad trigger for me. I have been bullied and yelled at my whole life and I am so done with it. Talk to me in an even tone like a fucking adult.