#but now you all know that book characters arent off limits here >:)

[istherewifiinhell]

well here we go folks

[ID: Close on 80s comic Megatron, black helm, large yellow optics. his excessive diaglogue: Indeed, Ravage. We have lived peacefully with the Autobots for eons slowly secretly gathering our strength and pursuing our technology, now we shall strike at those who have brought the stagnation of peace and plenty to cybertron. They shall learn the way of conflict... The way of war... The way of Megatron. END]

oh boy.... marvel transformers no. 1 (or 1-2 in tfuk...) published 1984.

normally id put my credits ABOVE the cut... but um...

plot: Bill Mantlo script: Ralph Macchio pencils: Frank Springer inks: Kim Demulder lettering: Michael Higgins, Rick Parker colour: Nelson Yomtov editor: Bob Buduansky EiC: jim shooter digital re-master by digikore studios limited. collection edits by Justin Eisinger and Alonzo Simon. editorial notes and assistance by Mark. W. Bellomo

jeez.... it takes a fucking village i guess. if youve seen my previous comics blogging, you might know digital remasters arent my fav... but. the amount of READING. in tiny tiny text. in this childrens toy comic. have any of u seen ennervated used in a comic before?? and speaking of reading...

[Caption box: But the Decepticons were fresh, fully fueled for the battle... the word fueled written strangely. END]

does. does that say fubleo?

[ID: 1. same captioned from the uk printing, saying fueled with two L's. 2. from an older US printing, much lower res and smudged, but the E and D still look correct with the rest of the type used. END]

So ADDING text errors. thats a new one.

anyway i couldnt begin to nor would i subject you to a comprehensive summary post. robot shit happens. the comic script seems to be fully printed into the book, even tho... surely the pictures are communicating... some of it. anyway. what are we here for.

[ID: Panel of Megatron walking towards the camera, menacing, canon raised saying "Strike! Strike! With all the might at our command! Death to the autobots and the decay they stand for!" END]

why he kinda...

[ID: Small drawing of Optimus walking, in a awkward maybe hurried way. END]

bigfooting it up here.

[ID: 1. small drawing with huffer doing repairs, hes faced away with his butt kind of popped out. 2. cartoon huffer drawn with really curvy portions at the chest and hips. END]

im not sure why 'huffer baby girl' is a thing but. you know. two nickles

[ID: Starscream and Thundercracker talking in jet mode. S: I told Megatron this frontal assault tactic he's so fond of is foolish, Thundercracker. Guile and stealth are far more effective than missiles in he long run. T: We have to follow Megatron's way, Starscream, It's been successful up to now. I don't think we should openly defy him as you've been known to do. END]

well least thats still the same

[ID: Tall narrow panel of a castle thats more gothic than scifi. "Meanwhile, inside the foreboding Castle Decepticon that was home to Megatron" END]

SORRY? he was just? draculaing it up on cybertron?? okay.

[ID: Panel showing a young man, buster, looking under Bumblebee's hood. Caption box: And. Not far away... Buster's thinking "The noises coming from this car are really weird! Almost like… Crying! It's been badly damaged-- leaking something that looks like… but isn't… oil!" END]

BUMBLEBEE CRYING??? HELLO??? what are you doing to my boy. (also yes. its not spike the ambiguously aged tradesman teen, son of a mechanic... but, Buster, bookish nerd who's father is disappointed in him reading to much trying to get a scholarship... [Chanel boots voice] okay... i see your foppish intellectualism and pink shirt buster.

finally. finally. IS THERE A SCRIPT DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE. fellas. this is not how a comic layout goes

[ID: Panel of Megatron in front of his assembled troops asking "... Are well all account for on this brave new world?" The panel is absolutely crammed with text, as all NINE of them sound off with a whole unnaturally phrased character bio paragraph, and Megatron concludes. END]

Im not sure that was.... the best way to do that.... but okay

[ID: Panel of Optimus and his Autobots just kinda standing around very 3/4 model sheet style, as Optimus says "Now let me insure that our people have each survived intact," followed by SEVEN autobot intros. END]

guys...... this is painful. WHAT is ironhide gonna do with his liquids?!?! what are bumblebees LITTLE LEVERS? altho... cute that he likes to swim?? at least there was less of them then the--

OH NO

[ID: A full PAGE of 10 additional autobot intros. END]

Head in hands.... why............... are they getting weirder as it goes or, am i just in increasing amounts of pain?

OKAY. thats post theres no more editorial beyond this point. but.... ocr'd these so..... if anyone is crazy enough want to peruse these ENTIRE BIOS. but needs some plaintext aid... (and re/unfixing the remaster errors lol) this ones for you. dont start of frenzy and rumble.....

Skywarp's up for raiding sir. And my teleportational power'll pop me right into their midst to make mischief. As ever, your cause is Thundercracker's great Megatron. Our land-bound enemy will be picked off at will as I soar over them, striking with rockets and sonic booms. As the fastest most maneuverable of Decepticon jet flyers, I, Starscream, shall continue to accumulate Autobot body-counts that enhance the reputation of our leader. Can the speeches, huh, Star? Rumble's back in town and I'm gonna shake the place up with some low frequency ground-waves. You hit em from up top and I'll do the job down here. And I, Frenzy, will shatter our opponents' equilibrium,using high- pitched soundwaves. I will not cease until every Autobot is slain, and you, Soundwave? I will monitor transmissions and read Autobot electrical impulses to learn their plans even my photographic memory serves as a defensive weapon. Does even that compare with Ravages power to slip undetected anywhere? And my own monitoring devices in my nose module allow me to smell, hear and detect electromagnetic radiation beyond that of any decepticon It all pales next to the artistry of Buzzsaw. I can pinpoint a hexnut at twenty miles with my optical sensors. And my beak has carved many an Autobot warrior into a masterpiece of scrap metal. Just leave some for Laserbeak, comrades allow me a few struggling survivors of our battle and I'm certain till pry some useful information from them with my optical lasers… Even if they die in the telling. Come. Our time to strike is later. The ship's brain has placed into our circuits the knowledge that this world possesses enormous untapped fuel resources resources we can exploit in our struggle against the Autobots.

Ironhide's ready to roll, Optimus, I may be old and ornery, but my steel-alloy skin hasn't been dented yet in battle. And I've got a bunch of new liquids I want to test out in my water gun, yessiree. Oh, I say we leave right now and forget about traipsing after the stupid decepticons, I'll use my stress testing sensors and mathematical skill to rebuild the ark and get us back to Cybertron where we belong. C'mon, Huffer, get with it! I only require a drop of fuel to run, so I'm going to explore this whole planet- especially since The Ark said so much of it is water, and Bumblebee's little levers love a good swim. Well, Sunstreaker isn't leaving until the rest of this world gets a look at the sleekest Autobot in the bunch. And if any Decepticon dares to mess with the finish-- he'll get two ground-to-air missiles stuffed where he won't want them. If you were as fast as Cliffjumper is, Sunstreaker, you wouldn't worry about your finish, and while I'm dodging fire my "Glass gas" can make any Decepticon brittle as ice. Hun, Brawn don't need any gas to rip things up, nobody's stronger'n me. One punch and yer buildin'-- or decepticon--goes bye bye. Sideswipe's right up there with you, Brawn, because I use my arms as Piledrivers. I admit, it's a little rash to rush headlong at Decepticon fortifications, but not one of them's stopped me yet.

Frankly, I'd rather be elsewhere hunting turbofoxes than with you roughnecks, but, while we're here, my electro-disrupter is charged up. It not only interferes with decepticon circuitry, it also makes me appear to be where I'm not that's why I'm called Mirage. Nice to hear how you got your name, Mirage. Now, I got mine, Bluestreak by being as fast as a blue streak.. Whatever that is. Some wise guys even said I talk a blue streak--whatever that is. Anyway, here I am. Listening to you, Bluestreak, taxes even the endless patience of Prowl. I have little to say, but my logic center dictates the most advantageous course of action in any situation. Well, that is neat-o, Prowl. But me, Jazz, I'd like to just cruise around and take in the sights. And if I've got to fight well my photon rifle and overhead flamethrowers can make things hot for the big nasties. You burn them, Jazz, but let Hound sniff, them out for you. My infra-red radiation collector makes me the best tracker on or off cybertron, and if I ever get lost, my hologram gun projects terrain maps to get me back on track. Just let Windcharger zoom ahead and scrap a Decept between my magnetic arms. I'll take in this planet's scenery later. The only thing Gears wants to learn about this planet is how to get off it. I hate this place already, I just know you're going to use me as a mobile transport unit again once we have to set up. Nuts. Let's go home Well, at least you don't have to patch Autobots up like old Ratchet does, when one of us busts himself up playing hero, but I've got the tools to fix anything-- even though I'd rather be partying than tinkering. And Wheeljack is the guy you've had to patch up most. I can't help it. I love to mess with gadgets -- especially our weaponry, like my shoulder cannons. I try to be careful, but sometimes it doesn't work. Thanks for being around, Ratchet, old buddy. I don't know how many times I, Trailbreaker had to use my force-field projector and hide behind my own barrier when you're experimenting with those shrapnel shells. You're worse than a wild Decepticon, Wheeljack.

[incorrect-ragdolly]

Ann: Why are there little handprints all over the wall?

Andy: *whispering to Cynthia* Why are there little handprints all over the wall?

Cynthia: *whispering* because I have little hands.

Andy: Because she has little hands.

[tillman]

top ten worst arthurian takes GO

god how can you limit me to only ten. almost everything everyone says is just so dumb in some way and god the main thing? i wouldnt give a shit i really wouldnt if people didnt constantly act like theyre talking about the REAL legends <3 and then source toafk.

and like. okay! i dont expect people to have read everything. thats fucking impossible. who is going to have read 1000 years worth of literature. but to then either claim superiority cus u like one branch over another or cus you think youre too cool to just.. admit u dont know something? it makes me very angry and i am legally allowed to bully you.

anyways under a cut cus well .... anyways im going to be mean i dont give a shit. 

10) this is a catch all one but literally everything to do with lancelot. every single fucking thing. none of you people are normal.  the idea hes some sort of awful parent, the idea hes a “later addition” to the legends (just ... not true?????? the vulgate alone which solidified his existence is ..... 13th century..... thats.... so early in terms of arthuriana......), the general conception he fits into this “bimbo” type archetype (specifically that) in see him being characterized as a slutty and stupid vapid person whos only with guenevere to get closer to arthur, THE IDEA HES EVEN VAGUELY CLOSE TO ARTHUR? thats a huge plot point in a lot of the vulgate lancelot doesnt give a SHIT about arthur, th white, making him into the stereotypical full of himself man, bro its literally all fucking bad. whatever have your own takes on the character but hes . fucking hell just stop talking about lancelot if you cant be normal.

9) th white. i dont care anymore i dont think anyone should be looking at his work anymore it has nothing worthy of any attention. it truly has no value. 

8) jesus fuck uhm theres a lot i could say about how the general fandom and books themselves treat women but the treatment of morgause is just abhorrent. she isnt a fucking r*****. lot is literally worse than her in terms of parenting and being a human being yet shes the only one demonized ever. and like. okay! you can write her as an abusive mother and be uncomfortable with how she is written in the text but modern texts making HER the one to initiate the thing w arthur .... usually against his will for some reason. well. fuck you.  also not a huge thing but portraying guenevere as an abuser is rooted in so much misogyny. this is not the place to have a serious discussion about that but just be aware of how u are thinking about characters. 

7) everything to do with galahad and mordred LOL not even just galadred but bro they are substanceless characters theyre not that fucking deep. 

6) uhhh also everything to do with arthur/guenevere/lancelot <3 the power and age dynamic at play here literally physically makes me sick and also its glorified so heavily i just dont think you people should be allowed to touch these characters. it doesnt even have any hold in text you people just read th white and some other nonsense and were like wow <3 polycules solve all issues <3 and like they do but not this one LOL

5) stop combining elaine of astolat and elaine of corbenic this isnt a complaint this is a fucking PLEA I AM BEGGING you people. aslo please treat elaine of astolat right i love her so so much she means the world to me

4) i think you people are fucking weird around kay. ohhh booohooo the french were meaaan to himmmmmm. okay. stop pointing at the prehistories for reasons kay is actually sooo cool and soooo competent. ohhh hes soooo cool in the welsh texts. thats cool for the welsh texts and doesnt have anything to do with how hes characterized in literally everything else. he doesnt haev to be this competant killing machine to be a really cool character. also hes not. he. hes not thor? 

3) here this is a complaint for the original texts but villainizing gawain? cool thats hot. doing that by making him into a sexual abuser? i hate you. i hate you. prose tristan author and the post vulgate author who took it from them im going to litearlly fucking twist your head off your body.  oh here ill tie this back to the general fandom. gawain isnt some fucking “cinnamon roll” being “uwu slandered by the evil dutch texts fans...” gawains a shitty person and thats cool. hes mean and devious and smarmy and uses the image of the perfect knight to get thorugh loopholes. SGATGK isnt the only text in existance. its also not... an “early text” its pretty late. its. its the 14th century thats after lancelot was introduced to the . hes. its late okay.

2) if i have to see one more fucking take that isolde gave tristan the potion knowingly i literally might snap this is a threat. i cant fucking do it where are you people getting this from its jsut so fucking insane and so . wrong ? disgusting ? like i get it no ones read anything tristan and isolde related besides misreading le morte but jesus fucking CHRIST where are you even getting this one why do i have to KEEP seeing it.

1) STOP. making characters cishet.  stop it. stop. i fucking see you cishets. STOP thinking the arthurian stories are for you. they arent. shut the fuck up. 

anwyays thats all i. this was mean sorry im being mean right now but god <3 you people are fucking insane.

the thing i want to note is hey. its okay to not know things. arthuriana spans a thousand years of texts. if you only like the modern stuff cool good for you i hope you have fun. i do truly hope my friends and i are starting to create a space that people are comfortable admitting you dont know something or to ask questions or just simply not want to know. like thats cool and fine of you! do that! 

just stop fucking making weird arthurian takes and making me look at them. thank u. 

[taki118]

List of Reincarnated into the Villainess of an Otome/Romance Novel Series I Like

Soooooo I’ve gotten sucked into the very specific isekai subgenre?trope? Of girl gets reincarnated into an otome game or romance novel she loves but is the villainess. It’s kind funny how similar these all are but at the same time so different. Now these arent all the titles just the ones I’ve read for at least a volume and like. (if asked i might make a list of the ones that failed for me). I’m gonna separate by types. and if you know of any other titles please do tell me.

Received Past Memories during Childhood

(The story starts with the MC remembering her past life as a child and growing up with the knowledge)

I Reincarnated into an Otome Game as a Villainess With Only Destruction Flags...

So this one has a good deal of traction since it has an anime adaption currently running, but I’ll be honest it’s not one of favs. This series is primarily a harem comedy and most of the jokes deal with the MC’s expectations from the game not matching her new reality and not realizing why, which can be very fun, if one note. The characters are likeable which is why I keep reading but I think some other titles on this list use the concept far better.  There is also a spin off version where the MC doesnt get her old memories until later in life and has to deal with the actions of the game character, but it’s fairly the same you arent missing much if you dont read it. 

The Villainess Want to Marry a Commoner

So in this one the MC isn’t trying to avoid a bad end rather she’s very excited to be able to romance her favorite NPC whom she wished was romance-able. (which honestly mood) I’m not very far in but it really takes the whole this is a game the furthest as there are stat checks and the MC basically carried over all the items and skills acquired in her past playthroughs.

Survive as the Hero’s Wife

A web series, this one takes place in a book and the main pair are married as children and the MC plays double agent for the series antagonist to keep her and the LI safe. It’s fairly involved with a larger cast of characters but I’ll be honest this is one of the titles I feel would be stronger if it was just a straight fantasy series, the whole Isekai aspect feels like it’s there just to make the plot move quicker. But all around a good read. 

Fiancée’s Observation Log of the Self-proclaimed Villainess

Now this one has a fun twist on the formula in that it’s told from the perspective of the love interest. Some of the faults other titles are plague with are avoided here as the main character himself has no knowledge of the world being a game, his fiance does but while she’s happy to tell him she’ll be a great villainess and get him a happy ending with the heroine she never tells him why thats so important so he’s left in the dark and thereby so are we. I will give a warning there is  bit of fat shaming in this as the original games villainous was chubby  but this version is skinny, like its not awful but its not the best implication that bad is chubby and good is skinny.

The Evil Lady's Hero

Another webseries set in a novel while we dont see the MC in childhood (save for some flashbacks) it’s stated she’s had her old memories since then. What I really like about this series is the MC’s personality and set up. So she died well into her 20s  and as such she is a bit more mature and levelheaded than most MC’s, her plan was to avoid the main cast of the books as much as possible but ends up drunkenly sleeping with the male lead leading to them dating. Her thought being I’ll just enjoy this for now and let him break up with me when he meets the heroine, all good. The pair play well off each other and I’m curious to see where the story goes.

The Result of Being Reincarnated is Having a Master-Servant Relationship with the Yandere Love Interest

Now this one has a lot of fun with this concept as there are two other characters who were reincarnated like the MC. Because this game had only yandere love interests even the “good” endings arent that good, the MC also has limited knowledge as she didnt get to play all the way through so she feels less omnipotent than other protagonists, and along with not being the only person displaced it gives the series a nice refreshing feel.  

Received Past Memories as Young Adult (The story starts with the MC remembering her past life after/during the events of the game/book)

I’m a Villainous Daughter, so I’m going to keep the Last Boss

So I actually really love this series and wanna read the light novel version. The MC regains her memories during the beginning of the bad end for the villainess and thinking quickly saves face to run off and find the main antagonist of the  game the demon king who happens to be a secret route on the second play through. Its a very fun read but gets a little dark in later chapters I wont spoil cause its good but there is an attempted rape scene. 

Simply Good Sense for a Duke’s Daughter

This one kills me cause the world building and characters are so strong and dense it’s actually weakened by the fact that the MC was reincarnated is really just kinda brushed off most the time. As you get more and more invested the only real purpose her being reincarnated into an otome has is like some ideas for products to sell and how to make things that dont exist in this world yet. Like I wont say I don’t enjoy it but I think I’d enjoy it more if it was just a fantasy story. 

Beware the Villainess

God I love this webseries. The MC is just a delight as she decides she wont be evil but she wont be good either. What I like about this series is it kinda plays with the fact that the setting is a trashy romance novel cause as the MC learns more about the main characters of the novel she finds that the descriptions in the book dont match up because it’s very surface level. Example a merchant whos said to be very smart and savvy in the books is actually rather easy to outsmart, MC realizes it’s cause the writer only ever wrote he was smart never HOW he was smart. I would def give this one a read its a lot of fun. 

For Certain Reasons, The Villainess Noble Lady Will Live Her Post-Engagement Annulment Life Freely

This is again another series I think would be stronger if it was straight fantasy. The MC of this story actually has no idea the world is an otome game, she was  nurse in her past life and uses that knowledge for the betterment of the land, (though actually its hard to tell if she was really reincarnated or just has the memories of this person) The story could have moved just as well if the MC was given like a medical textbook from a mysterious other world. But the characters are fun so its not awful just not one of my favorites. 

Reincarnated but not as Villainess 

I Am Troubled That My Fiance Is a Villain

The MC is reincarnated into an otome game with her memories as a child but as a side character, she ends up endearing herself and becoming engaged to the games villain character. Its very cute because she doesnt have to worry about a bad end she doesnt try to interfere much just keep those around her safe. 

Seduce The Villain's Father

Web series MC gets reincarnated into a novel as a minor character, as the story takes place prior to the events of the book she changes things to keep her new sister safe and uses the opportunity to try and avoid more tragic events. Its not bad I’d say the idea itself is interesting though its a little uncomfortable she calls the male lead “father” 

A Villain Is A Good Match For A Tyrant

Ok so this web series is kinda hilarious and I do have to spoil a little cause the person reincarnated is NOT our lead, its our villain. So this person was actually the author of the story, she had written a novel about a girl being reincarnated into the bastard daughter of a lord who gets engaged to a tyrant and has to pretend to be evil to stay safe from his enemies, and the author is so PISSED she reincarnated into a random priestess. Its so weirdly meta. The MC is the lord’s bastards and the events play out just like story only she doesnt get her body taken over. This series is very fun, cant wait to see how it goes. 

Anyway this is my list if you have suggestions for me I’ll check them out. Will probably make another list later. 

[edge-lorde]

hp update: its been a long time, boys. ud think that with this plague outbreak id have more time for shitty phone games, and ud be right! however, the time i normally might use to make tumblr posts has been taken up by reading lotr orc fanfiction non-stop for at least 1 full month. id still be in the thick of that obsession even now if only the fics would update. that is how i find you today folks, for the first time in many weeks i am staring at a screen with nothing to do. so come with me friends, theres no better way to fill the soulless void we are all in than reading a nice long tumbler post. 

disclaimer, first of all, a lot has happened, i prefer to keep these updates as plot spoiler free as possible but do to extenuating circumstances i feel like it is necessary to say, [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER BELOW]

that rowan fucking died,

i wont say exactly how, but i will say that her death was animated as were animations of myself and a few others reacting to our friend fresh corpse. obviously meant to be serious moments but the animations made it seem almost comical. 

i saw at least one post going around right after this update that was like ‘how could the game devs do this to us..... how could they hate rowan so.... this is punishment from on high’ and its like.... u guys do know what a story is right? the events of  a story are not typically done to punish less faithful fans, im pretty sure they were planning to kill rowan off from the beginning. this isnt disney im pretty sure the writers are not writing each chapter the night before its released by popular vote. 

that little “are we drifting away..?” scene with rowan makes more sense now. there was a bit in one of the scenes where the kids all reminisce on rowans life and the mc talks about it being the last real one on one time they had with rowan. a nice bitter sweet moment. i dont hate this turn of events. its a good reminder that actions have consequences and we are way past they days of “should i wear a hat or scarf?” its YA time now. 

i did manage to take 1 screenshot from this time, i had commented that before that when rowan said she didnt have many friedns that barnaby seemed to be hanging out with her without be there as a friend buffer and here was his reaction to her death:

;_;

the funniest part in all of this however, was of course cedericks reaction to rowans death “but she was so young....” LOL fuckin RIP.

lets see... what else.... i forget a lot of what happened but i think there was a time sensitive quidditch event in there somewhere? if so i  dont remember it. what i do remember of the quidditch pals is that im gonna play beater now, skye is being weird and cagey about it, andre is involved.... the others are there.....

sidenote, i love the shitty b characters they throw in to be like yes you know this person but no they are not cool enough for u to even think about befriending. the first one of those is face paint kid, and now we have another, who is a former beater girl with horrible bangs named bean who didnt go to any classes for a whole season so she could just play ball 24/7 and got kicked off the team.  this is a character who only exists to provide an explanation as to why there would be a beater position open but i love them on principle. 

right now im in the midst of another time sensitive event, this one is a bother-your-brother-at-work-day event where recent hogwarts graduate bill weasley is bullied by myself and his younger brother charlie into letting us go with him on one of his curse breaking jobs. 

so for those unfamiliar, bill works for the magical bank of england.... and his job seems to be “retrieving treasure” for said bank. in the books, there is a bit where he takes his family on one of his trips to egypt, where his job seemed to have been tomb plundering indiana jones style for the posterity of the english bank :X. i wont explain here why thats bad but its bad. 

the game devs however in this instance, at least SEEM to be doing what jkr couldnt do by attempting to salvage what is left of gringotts bank and form it into not a super shitty implications factory run by horrible jewish caricatures. bills mission is to retrieve a goblin made artifact that was taken by dragons, so no going to foreign countries to steal things from other people! only going to a dragon reserve to rifle through animal nests. they even appear to be providing us with a likable goblin character, egad!  

my hope for this event is that we get a plotline about how maybe, goblins arent shifty human haters for no reason, and in fact they hate magic humans for very understandable reasons, like being forced to go into hiding with the rest of the magical world even though only the humans wanted to do that, and maybe despite running the bank in england they still dont have a lot of political sway in the world of wizards and witches, and have to rely on the faith that said wizards and witches wont fuck them over at every turn, even as they see how they treat other non-humans, such as house elves, which they desperately dont want to end up like. and maybe they DONT only care about gold... maybe thats a human stereotype based on the fact that theres a long history of humans not respecting goblin ownership customs.... which i could get into..... but i wont.... i just....... very badly dont want them to suck ;__________;

i know i said its ok to still like a piece of media as long as you recognize the problems with it, and i do, but once this game is done im gonna stop hp posting all together. ive been feeling more and more uncomfortable making these posts lately.  

GENERAL GAME NOTES; theres been some new layout changes and such. 

most notably the stairs screen has been changed from a bulleted list of all locations to a screen with tiles picturing an image of each location along with the name + icons of all classes at each place. there is one additional location that is new and yet to be unlocked, and the dragon reservation is appearing temporarily as its own tile as well. i prefer this method of getting in and out of a temporary location to how they did it with car during the last christmas special. the stairs icon also now stays in the corner when you scroll through locations, allowing you to open the stairs menu without scrolling all the way back to the left. 

they also moved a few of the buttons down into the lower left corner rather than the left side & combined the story button and sidequest button. they added a little camera button as well, just like in the dormitory, that makes all the icons in a location disappear and look better for screenshots. 

the daily special add offer thing now has its own button in the top right corner of the screen, and idk if i mentioned it before but now there are daily challenges that appear in the sidequest screen that offer small rewards for completing 3 tasks per day + a better one if u get all 3. the prizes are things like 4 energy, 75 coins, 3 monster food. the better rewards are usually either more coins, 8 energy, 3 gems, or 1 notebook. i think that it does all the different color notebooks but i cant remember for sure if i ever saw the gold one up as a reward. i like this addition in any case. if you dont pick up ur reward by the end of the day, the next time u log on it will force u to stop and accept them, and if one of the rewards is energy and ur energy bar is full, it does not seem to stack beyond the bar so watch out.

 the character stats page is now more zoomed out so you can see your full character instead of just from the waist up. no change to the leaderboard. rowans face in the friendship roster is now a still black and white image that says ur friend may be gone but friendship is forever u-u. 

rowan has been removed from all classes. in the classes where the minigames involved her, those minigames have passed the mantle onto other friends in the class. in potions that person is now liz helping u find stuff off the shelves and in tranfiguration that person is badeea. bless these girls for helping mc get through it. touched my heart. 

theres been a few fun little “i know u have more free time now so uhhhh have some energy” prizes like they do sometimes when they dont update on schedule so thats been nice. just a few days ago they gifted us 3 gold notebooks the same way. :O. 

theres also been a few instances of a energy happy hour where for a limited time energy takes less time to refresh. normally it takes 4 mins for 1 energy to do this but during happy hour its like 2:30 mins. :U its all very interesting.

and that will have to do it for tonight my friends, ill do a post for the dragon event when its done because i do like it so far and i do like getting to bully bill with charlie. 

until next time, remember.......

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

i don’t know much about indian politics, but knowing that modi is far right, promotes religious secularism and is/was trying to become a dictator (wanting to cancel term limits on being a prime minister) tells me all i need to know. like he refused to enforce curfew or any lockdown rules in the second wave after multiple people had told him to do so! he could’ve prevented this so easily and get chose to do nothing. anyway he pisses me the fuck off.

(also i love how you say first class or like seventh class instead of grades!)

the sweaty from laughing to hard is so accurate. istg they do nothing at every event. i get the acting different cause your from the us part. i pretty much grew up here since i was a baby, so it took me longer to notice. they tend to be a bit more polite maybe cause they could get an iphone or something lol. (also i’m pretty young so i can’t give them any gossip or dirt about myself).

having a gender fluid character in a book that a lot of children will read is so incredible! i would probably have to re read the whole series cause i forgot most of the pot line, but it’s on my tbr list. also wtf Aru Shah has queer rep?!! wait, I have to look this up..

okay i’m back and there’s a wlw ship (hira and brynne) so now i have to read it! ahhhhh that literally just made my day :))

rick grew so much as a writer too and his writing style was so much better in hoo compared to tlo. so, yes i am also proud of that 57 year old.

literally me reading any book or watching a tv show. as soon as i see a queer character, i stop giving a shit about the others. and it was only until like last year when i realized that cis het people don’t do that...oops

i’ve only read the first book of red scrolls of magic and even though the plot was a bit weak, malec made up for it! also i liked alec a lot better in that book. i should get around to finishing it!

ahhh me too! my favorite line was the one in the trailer about the enemies (can’t translate either lmao) and also the court scene.

.... *dramatic pause*... i do <3

also i now realize that this means my full name is indiphannon (a dramatic step up form phindian, cause then i would have to sign these off as phindi and a respectful ew to that)

...but if you’re treeman... i’ll be your indiphannon (gross <3)

ilysm,

- indi <3

💍 (here’s your wedding ring bitch)

no yeah, that about sums it up. like he can fuck himself, i hate him

(i normally say grades when im with americans but lately ive been saying class bc ive spent so much time with my family, i kind of like it better. its like including my heritage in Absolutely Everything)

ikr, theyre always waiting for me to let my guard down and let something slip. like one time i told them i got an 84 on something (the lowest score ive ever gotten on anything and i was pretty messed up about it) and they had a FIELD DAY. meanwhile my cousin was bringing home consistent C's on good days and no one gave a shit. they see me as an outsider a lot, which sucks bc if i dont belong there and i dont belong here, then where do i belong? on tumblr i guess

no but actually, seeing alex legitimately made me question my gender identity and allowed me to feel comfortable with that, so i love having them in such a normalized way. and yes! aru shah does have queer rep!

brynne is the telugu character i was talking about, she literally amazing. shes established as canonically bi i think in the first book she's in, and when hira is introduced she simps for her, but they arent together yet :( although the fifth book is coming, so perhaps?

actually though, going back and reading lightning thief after tower of nero, hes grown so much as a writer and as a person, its so amazing to think ive lived through it all :') so proud of my 57 year old son finally growing up

exactly, its like queer? queer?? ME queer! they queer? they queer!! QUEEEEER!!! and no, cishet ppl dont do that, shoutout to 9 year old me being the greatest and most involved ally to ever live lmao

yeah, red scrolls of magic was a bit weak, but lost book of the white is a bit stronger, so its all good. honest to the gods believe cassie just wrote herself fanfiction and accidentally showed her agent, theres no other explanation for it. and yeah, alec has grown a lot since we first met him, i hope we keep seeing him bc hes amazing, and the relationship they had is not only great queer rep, but also amazing relationship rep as well? like they have such a good relationship even though theyve been through so much, proving that communication is key. theyre like the dnp of the shadowhunter world.

omh yesss, when she was like "oh just give them the bail" and they were like ??? well if she says so as a joke, PEAK comedy

*wait anxiously*... !! i do too <3

lmao, disrespectful blech from me, that was not my finest moment. indiphannon is much better <3

maybe GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY can be our always <3

ily tooooo <3

*chucks your engagement ring at you* i prOPOSED FIRST (cant believe this is our first domestic 😥)

[laindir]

*also drops Idol AU prompt here* because I KNOW YOU HAVE ONE LAWWWL and I want more :"DDD

/inCOHERENT YELLING lmAO

why did you bring up Idol AU ajghsfhdjashsj. okay, you know what? this is actually one of those AUs that I don’t think I’ll flesh out more or continue I’m bad at modern AU and don’t quite prefer them, so I’m just gonna dump the first paragraphs and the outline draft here. FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT. I hope you’re happy because this is just 100% nonsense and utter crack.

 He didn’t actually have to dothis, he knew. There were easier ways—waysthat didn’t include waking up before the crack of dawn at 4 A.M., just so hecould catch the earliest train at 5 A.M.and be one of the firsts in the line at six; ways that didn’t include standingfor three whole hours in the baking sun, sweat dripping off his temples; waysthat didn’t include jostling through the double doors with the rest of thecrowd once the bookstore opened at nine. He was, after all, one of the authorslisted in the latest BL anthology novel released in stores today—his agent had already sent him a copytwo weeks ago.

But Sorey didn’t mind the crowd or thecacophony of waiting in line. In fact, he quite enjoyed it, nervous energygrowing within him as he dug the heels of his feet into the ground, eyes brightwith anticipation. He liked mingling inconspicuously in the crowd of fans, hisidentity as one of their beloved BL writers unbeknownst to them. Theirconversations and discussions gave him a good grasp of what fans liked anddisliked about his current works, and their expectations for future projects.It also allowed him to share the excitement of being a fan, though instead ofwaiting in purchase the BL anthology like everyone else, he was really lookingto purchase an entirely different book—thelimited signed edition of archaeologist and explorer Michael Shepherd.

Michael Shepherd wasn’t exactly a popular literary figure. His prose tendtowards the stilted, his characters too cardboard and unfortunate caricatures,his plot devices often weak and cliché. Fiction was clearly was not his forte,so thankfully he had really only attempted it once… maybe twice. Non-fiction however was an entirely different story. He wasrenowned in research circles for his academic writings and journals. And whenhe wrote features about his latest archaeological findings in the monthly Geographicsmagazine, his words danced across the pages, melodious like the sweetest poetry—Sorey couldn’t help but be simply enamoredby them.

Soreysqueezed through the crowd, looking for Shepherd’s signed copy of his mostrecent autobiography and travelling log through Bhutan.

Was about tograb the last copy, only to have the book snatched out of his reach by anotherperson, A Man So Beautiful he looked as though he had just stepped out of thepages of a modelling magazine, breathed to life by the gods. it took Sorey afull ten seconds to realise he had been staring wordlessly at those sculptedcheekbones and those disgustingly captivating eyes.

But now thebook Sorey had awoken up at 4A.M. and queued for three hours in the sun for wasout of his reach! And it was the limited signed copy too!! Who was this man and how did he beat him to it so quickly?!

Sorey didn’trealise it then but the Beautiful Man™  is Mikleo, a young male model relatively newto the scene that had started gaining popularity in recent months (because his manager had secured gigs for him on variety/idol shows airingon primetime TV).

Sorey alsodidn’t recognise Mikleo at first, because Mikleo had his shoulder-length hairtied up in an equally captivating and messy man-bun (lol) and waswearing tinted hippie glasses and a beret—all in a bidto hide his identity from his horde of adoring fans.

His fans don’tactually know Mikleo’s real name, as he goes by the stage name L. Rulay when doing modelling/TV work.

Mikleo wasthere for the book too, but unbeknownst to Sorey, he also happened to be related to Michael Shepherd, the famed archaeologistthat Sorey so admired. Michael was Mikleo’s wayward uncle that he didn’t reallydislike, but their relationship had always been strained throughout the years.

Michael hadrefused to be around for the book-signing (he’d never made any promises to his agent).Because his uncle supposedly ‘ditched’ the book signing, the agent beggedMikleo to stand in on his behalf instead.

Despite hisoverall disapproval of his uncle’s flightiness and periodic bouts ofunreliability, Mikleo respected his uncle’s academic works and really likes hisjournals too. And because Uncle Michael could sometimes be a bit of an ass, hedidn’t even bother to send his nephew a copy of his latest book. In fact, hedidn’t even inform Mikleo ahead of time when it was going to be released—Mikleo found out about the publishing date the same time the rest of thepublic did.

And that washow he and Sorey ended up bickering over the Last Copy of The Book™  in thestore.

They have aminor argument about it:-Mikleo: I was here first, so it makes sense it should rightfully be mine.Sorey: Um, but you snatched the book out of my hands.Mikleo: ….W-Well. I actually am related to Michael Shepherd, sothis copy’s mine to claim by familial rights anyway. Sorey: Wait, what?! We’re not living in 1600-1700 Edo Japan—there’s no such thing! You just want specialtreatment. And for all I know, you could be lying about him being your uncle!

Theirargument started to attract attention; one of the other customers finally recognised Mikleo—“OH, YOU’RE L. RULAY, ARENT YOU?? KYYAAHH CAN I HAVE A WEFIE WITH YOU??”

And suddenlya crowd of adoring fans swarmed towards him, much to his dismay!

Sorey toMikleo: “L. Rulay…? Wait, you mean you’re that male model featured on thismonth’s FINEBOYS magazine?!”

Mikleo,hissing back an angry whisper: “You don’t have to raise your voice like that?!”

Cue hilarityand Sorey and Mikleo both trying to inconspicuously find their way out from apacked bookstore filled with fan girls !

Sorey savesthe day by helping Mikleo escape through the back exit! They even managed tohold onto the book !

Mikleo,immensely grateful that they’d managed to escape, decided that Sorey shouldhave the book instead. Despite their tense first meeting, they laughed theincident off and re-introduced themselves again, properly this time.

Turns out,they’re both avid and voracious readers, with a shared interest in many things, especially in archaeology/worldhistory/geography.

Mikleo thenrealised Sorey (much to Sorey’s slight embarrassment) is the indie novelistknown in BL circles as “Kamui”. They hit it off pretty well and exchangedbusiness cards.

A few dayslater, Mikleo’s manager (Rose?? LOL) wants to strangle him because tabloidreporters got a shot of him and Sorey leaving the bookstore together and there arenow scandalous rumours splashed all over the news that they were D A T I N G.

Rose: WHOSAID YOU WERE ALLOWED TO DATE AND HOW DARE YOU CHOOSE SOMEONE WHO’S ACTUALLYALMOST AS HOT AS YOU !! THIS IS A DISASTER, FANS WILL THINK YOU’RE NOT A VIRGINANYMORE!

Distressedat his supposedly smeared name and at Rose threatening murder in cold blood, Mikleowent to look for Sorey again, crashing through his apartment door:-Mikleo: WENEED TO FIX THIS MAJOR MISUNDERSTANDING OR MY SHOT AT IDOL CAREER IS RUINED IFTHEY THINK I’M NOT SINGLE ANYMORE. ROSE WILL CRUCIFY ME! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.Sorey: BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? AND HOW IS THIS EVEN MY FAULT?!Mikleo: WHY ARE YOU GOOD-LOOKING?! Sorey: HUH??Mikleo: LOOK, JUST TELL ROSE THAT WE ARE ACTUALLY CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS WHOFELL OUT OF TOUCH AND RECONNECTED AGAIN. OH, THAT’S RIGHT, BROS—WE’RE JUST BROS, NOTHING MORE. Sorey: Listen, all I wanted was just a book. I didn’t sign up for any of this!

[thothonegan]

Coding Conventions

I've had a few people ask how I layout my code. So here's a quick overview. Of course coding conventions is a very touchy topic for a lot of programmers, so don't take this as the 'best' approach or anything. It's just what works for me. A lot of it has been inspired by various other guides such as the Google C++ Style Guide so look at those too.

Files

Naming Conventions

Rule: .cpp for C++ source files, .hpp for C++ header files.

Justification: Mostly makes it obvious what a file is written in. If you've ever included a C file without extern C and it didnt support c++ correctly, you know why this is useful.

General Indentation

Rule: Tabs for indentation, spaces for alignment.

Justification: This is probably the number one things programmers argue about. Personally, I find the benefit of having a specific alignment character nicer then not. And I hate typing lots of spaces in code (python) that requires it (or YAML : even if my editor is setup for tab=spaces, it always puts the cursor in the wrong place). Or even this stupid markdown editor because Tumblr doesnt understand triple grave code blocks properly *kicks*.

Header Guards

Rule: Use old style C #define header guards, generally named from the project down (like WOLFCORE_THREAD_HPP ).

Justification: I know some people prefer #pragma once and it's supported practically everywhere, but it's still non-standard. This is mostly a 'I'm used to it' type thing, and theirs a few cases where its useful. Like for example, you want to guarantee a certain file was included before you (like the hell that is Windows.h).

Forward declarations

Rule: Prefer forward declarations for classes to using includes.

Justification: This is something I never cared about till my compile times increased due to how big my projects have gotten. C++ also has a lot of constructs (templates, inlines) which require headers to be included so its best to give it as much of a help as possible. When modules becomes standardized, hopefully it'll help with this.

Documentation

Rule: Everything in headers should be documented. In source files, just readable comments are needed.

Justfication: For me, header files are like the index of a book. The main reason I'm looking through them is for an API I need, or need to learn how to use a class. Having everything documented and neatly sectioned makes this easy (especially when combined with doxygen). I definitely document more than most people do, but its come in handy too many times to count when coming back to a class I wrote years before and completely forgot the quirks a class has.

The one other related big rule is if something happens such as a crash due to using an API wrong, the documentation for that function must have pointed that out. If it did, I as a user of the function was wrong : if it doesn't, that's a bug in the function (either it should point it out, or the function needs to be fixed). This rule alone has improved stability of my programs, because just making it not crash anymore doesn't mean its actually fixed. And if its possible for the function to detect that condition (in debug mode) and abort, it is required to. If you can get every crash down to where the app detects it before the system does, that is huge. Its much nicer to get a 'Abort: Tried to access a null pointer here [backtrace]' instead of 'SIGSEGV'.

Naming Conventions

Macros

Rule: Macros will be named in all capitals. WOLF_APPLICATION() for example.

Justification: This keeps the preprocessor neatly seperated from the rest of the language. Anything in all caps or with #stuff you know happens before the compiler runs.

Constants

Rule: Constants will be CapitalCamelCase. Note this generally only applies to full constants, and not just variables marked 'const'.

Justifcation: With variables being different, this makes it easy to tell if something's designed to be assignable or not.

Variables

Rule: Variables will be lowerCamelCase (with the exceptions of prefixes). Variable names can have a prefix of '[letters]_[name]' if they fall into specific categories. Namely:

m : A member variable

s : A static variable (usually file scope)

A variable might also have postfix names too, though thats mostly up to the module. Common ones are S for seconds (durationS), str for string (durationStr) and so on.

Justfication: The lowerCamelCase is basically to counter with constants, so at a glance you can tell the basics of a type. With the prefixes, you also know the scope of a variable and cannot easily get confused between local variables and long living variables like members. The final part about prefixes is a form of Application Hungarian Notation (not to be confused with Systems Hungarian (ala lpCmdLine) which is what Windows uses and is annoying to work with).

Namespaces/Classes/Structs/Enums/Unions

Rule: Containers will use CapitalCamelCase, very much like constants. Add 'Private' somewhere to the name if its for internal use.

Justfication: Mostly distinctiveness again. The mixing between constants and containers also generally isnt a problem, and the compiler will point it out if you accidently use one at the other.

Functions/Methods

Rule: Functions/Methods will use lowerCamelCase with one of the prefixes below if required. Generally functions if they return a value should have the return as part of the name (aka do not do val = calculate(), instead val = calculateLength()). Setters start with set while get just name the value. Prefixes used include:

p : Protected/Private function - not callable outside the class and/or decendents.

i : Internal function - might be public, but isn't part of the common/normal interface. Be careful!

s : Static function - limited to the file. Note that this ISNT used for class static functions (since they are public interface).

v : Virtual function. See Private Virtuals below for more details. Not public generally.

r : CRTP function. Called by one of the classes we inherit from. Not public.

Justification: The difference from other constants makes it easier to deal names. You can tell instantly that WolfCore::Module is some form of container, while WolfCore::Module::v_init is a virtual function. The mixing with variables isn't an issue since they are never valid in the same contexts.

The setter/getter thing is mostly a question of style. The goal is to make public usage as straightforward as possible, and allow information hiding as easily as possible (since it costs 0 due to inlining). With the member variable rule above, this then means you have something like:

m_value : The member variable 'value' which stores the value.

value() : A function to retreieve the member variable 'value'.

setValue(Type&) : A function to set the member variable 'value'.

And now probably the most distinct thing in my style: the function prefixes. Anything off the normal public path has a prefix, which allows devs to know the category of a function without affecting users of the class. I'll explain each rule individually, and justify them seperately.

p_function() : Protected/Private functions. These are functions the normal user shouldnt ever care about, so theirs no reason it should come up in code-completion/etc. When using certain APIs, I've tried to call a function only to realize it was private, and was just part of the code because of how classes work. While IDEs try to show them differently, a little icon change isn't easily noticable. This makes it a lot more obvious. There is no distinction between protected/private because I default everything to private, and the few cases you use protected, you know what you're doing (since you're working on the backend of the class).

i_function() : 'Internal' public functions. There is a few cases where you need a function to be public that really shouldn't be - but for some reason friend wont solve it, or makes an even bigger mess. Internal functions allow you to public something, yet its still not a 'normal' function. If you ever see a call to one of these, its a big warning sign that its doing something odd. An example in Wolf is Matrix::i_fromEigenMatrix() : nothing in Wolf publically should depend on my matrix implementation being eigen, yet its needed for some of the helper classes to be able to easily pass things around.

s_function() : Static per file functions. This is mostly used for private helper functions for classes which arent part of the public interface. Mostly they'll end up in an anonymous namespace. Things like s_initKeyboardTable() in various window drivers that just setup a global table for looking up keyboard keys. Note this is not used for static class functions. Those use normal naming conventions (like Manager::manager()).

v_function() : This is Private Virtuals. More details at the end, but it is a way to seperate virtual implementations from the actual calling interface. You almost never call a v_function() directly, but it marks the interface a parent class might call you with.

r_function() : CRTP. If you don't need the runtime calling abilities that virtuals provide, CRTP allows you to require a specific interface thats completely resolved at compile time (mostly at 0 cost due to inling). From a code writer perspective, its the same as a virtual v_function(). Might write a blog post about CRTP someday, cause it's a handy technique that a lot of people don't know about.

All of these are cases where you're either limited where you can call it, or you need to be careful when you're calling it. Having these special function prefixes have helped me a lot.

Indentation/Spacing Rules

This is more of the 'feel good' type rules. Can't really justify most of them other then its just how I do things.

Tabs (Literal tab character, editor view set to 4 spaces)

Mostly Allman style in formatting. I've experimented a bit with others such as 1TBS, but while Allman loses a bit in density its pretty nice to read.

Spaces arround operators, keywords, etc

I do allow single statement constructs such as if, but been trying to get away with a condensed Allman for those cases.

Example:

if (condition) { break; }

instead of

if (condition) break;

Spaces after function names.

Namespaces use Allman, but if multiple namespace are grouped together, I use one line. I don't need this as much as I used to, but this probably the number one thing that editors despise me doing (they keep trying to fix it). This is mostly to prevent indentation explosion.

Example:

namespace Wolf { namespace Core { class A; } }

C++17 will add namespace Wolf::Core which will help.

Decorations on variables go with the types: aka const Type* t. Yes I know if you're abusing C this looks weird (the char* a, b example) but the answer is to stop abusing C. Yes its technically part of the variable not the value, yes its 'how you use it' and 'not part of its type' but it acts like part of the type, thus its part of the type. Ducks quack and all. Speaking of...

One declaration per line. End of story. No char* a, b crap. If you have a ton of variables to generate, use preprocessor macros or a supporting tool.

Dont use void in the parameter list. I used to, and a lot of code of mine still does, but blank is just fine. Unless you're in C of course, cause C defaults to int for some reason.

Prefer using to typedef. C++11 made it way more powerful, and its more readable too.

A quick example of everything put together, WolfThread::Thread's header! (some parts removed for space).

namespace WolfThread { // /// \brief A class that represents a thread of execution /// /// Subclass Constructor must have the format: /// explicit Thread (ThreadFunctionPointer f); // class Thread { public: /// \name Types /// \{ // /// \brief Function prototype for threads // using FunctionPointer = WolfType::Function<void (WolfThread::Thread* thread)>; /// \} /// \name Construction/Destruction /// \{ // /// \brief Destroy the thread - will join if joinable // virtual ~Thread () {} /// \} /// \name Joining/Detaching /// \{ // /// \brief Join the thread - waits for it to finish its execution // void join () { v_join(); } // /// \brief Detach the thread - the thread is now independent of this handle // void detach () { v_detach(); } /// \} WOLF_DEFAULT_MOVE(Thread); WOLF_DEFAULT_ASSIGN_MOVE(Thread); WOLF_DISABLE_COPY (Thread); WOLF_DISABLE_ASSIGN (Thread); protected /*child interface */: // /// \brief The thread is starting. Should be called by children when the thread started. // void p_threadStarted (); // /// \brief The thread is exiting. Cleans up runloop/etc : should be called by children classes when the thread is about to return. // void p_threadExiting (); private: /* child interface*/ // /// \brief Join the thread - waits for it to finish its execution // virtual void v_join () = 0; // /// \brief Detach the thread - the thread is now independent of this handle // virtual void v_detach () = 0; }; }

Private Virtuals

So a quick aside about virtuals. Virtual functions are pretty amazing, but theirs a few issues with using them:

Interface and Implementation are mixed. The caller of the function is tied directly to the implementation.

Not able to easily insert your own code. Want code to run before and after every call? Can't really do it, without assuming that your child classes will call back to you. Speaking of..

Can't guarantee what child classes will do. Will they call you before they do things? After?

What if later on you want the interface to change? All the callers and the callees have to change. Even if its mostly compatible.

If you have behavior in your parent class, you can't guarantee you're overridden. Modern C++ added support for having default behavior yet being pure, but its still odd.

So the C++ STL (among other places) has an interesting way to fix these. Instead of having one function (say init() that is both called and overridden) you instead have two:

public: void init () { v_init(); } // calls the virtual - public interface private: virtual void v_init () = 0; // child HAS to override [or not if you dont make it pure]

Even though its private, you can override it from a child class. They just cant call the base version (since its private). So what does this gain us?

Interface and Implementation are seperate. The implementation only messes with the v_init() one, and doesnt know/care if init() is the only caller of it.

Since the interface is seperate, we can easily add any code we want before/after the v_init() all. None of the callers have to change, because its all filtering through init.

We still can't guarantee what child classes will do, but thats fine because they cant call the parent function anyways! So we can guarantee we can do things before/after them regardless of what they do.

If you want to change the interface or the implementation, go right ahead. Only the callers or callees will need to change as long as you keep them compatible. You can even have multiple virtual interfaces and the public API choose whichever it wants.

You can have behavior in your parent class, yet your function is still pure virtual and must be overriden (since its not part of the implementation function).

And yes, at least for simple cases like this it's 0 cost - C++ will inline it all anyways.

The one downside you get is that you have to duplicate your functions - for every virtual, you need the public interface function too. Not a huge deal while you're building things. And if you document all interfaces like I do, it costs a bit more time there too.

This takes some time to get used to, but it comes in handy.

Ending

Wow, that turned out to be a lot more than I expected - and I bet I missed a lot of things. Anyways, thats a basic look in my code formatting - I still tweak things here and there, and theirs definitely places in my codebase with older styles. The most important thing though is having a style - because even if its different (unreal and its 'everything is capitalized' for example), as long as its consistent its fine working with.

[hello-thefatlosshabit-blr]

One of the most potent strategies for reaching a goal is to identify the obstacles ahead of time and to develop a plan to address each before they are encountered. We want to be optimistic, but we don’t want to be a naive optimist. The naive optimist ignores the obstacles in their way and believes that they will not confront any challenges while striving to accomplish their goal. The realistic optimist believes in their ability to accomplish their goal despite the obstacles in their way. They acknowledge and prepare for the obstacles which makes them much more likely to achieve their goal. We want to have faith in our ability to overcome obstacles, not naively believe we won’t encounter them.

Research shows that predicting how and when you might be tempted to break a resolution increases the chances that you will keep it.[i]When you are working on developing a daily discipline, ask yourself: “When am I most likely to be tempted to give in? What situation is most likely to get me sidetracked? What excuses will I give myself to procrastinate?” Once you have such a scenario mapped out in your mind, imagine yourself in that situation, what it will feel like, and what you might be thinking?  If we are struggling to form a habit, it shouldn’t be difficult to imagine what situations will cause us to slip off our path, because these situations must have occurred for us to be struggling with forming the habit now.If you enjoyed this article, please LIKE and SHARE. 

Why is imagining the situations that will cause us to fail such a useful tool for overcoming our willpower challenges? It’s because once we have identified them, we can anticipate them and develop a plan to either avoid the situation or mitigate the temptation. When you have a definite strategy in mind, imagine yourself doing it. Envision what it will feel like to succeed. The more you mentally rehearse your plan, the more likely you are to execute it successfully when the temptation confronts you.

While planning missions in the military, two things were drilled into us. The first was to keep our plans as simple as possible by avoiding unnecessary complexity. We were taught the acronym KISS, “Keep it simple, stupid.” Simple plans are easier to execute. Complexity is the enemy of execution. The second was to rehearse, rehearse, and rehearse. The simpler your plan is, and the more you rehearse it, the better you will execute your plan. Execution is critical. Plans do not produce results unless you execute them.

Gabriele Oettingen a clinical psychologist and author of Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation, found that regardless of the goal, weight loss, obtaining a high-paying job after college, finding your soul mate, or recovering from hip replacement surgery, being a realistic optimist dramatically increases your odds of success. Realistic optimist recognizes the pitfalls that lay in front of them and develop a plan to address them. They don’t overestimate their ability to overcome challenges through willpower alone. They shape their environment and create if-then plans to shape their behavior. Realistic optimists have meals ready to eat in their freezer, they submit more job applications, they exercise more courage to meet potential romantic partners, and they create daily routines around rehabilitation exercises.[ii]

We must believe in ourselves, but one of the worst things we can do is underestimate the challenges we must overcome or overestimate our finite and fickle abilities to overcome them. Presuming that our willpower will always be adequate to the challenge of overcoming every temptation is folly. We need to recognize the challenges before we encounter them and develop a plan, based on proven strategies, to overcome those challenges. We should seek the advice of people that have done it.

Everyone struggles with procrastination, laziness, and overcoming distractions to make progress toward their goals. The bigger the goal, the more likely we are to be intimidated by it. The more likely we’ll be to procrastinate. When a reporter asked Earnest Hemmingway how he set about writing a novel, he replied, “First you defrost the refrigerator.” While I am no Hemmingway, the task of writing a book can seem overwhelming. To prevent the enormity of the task overwhelming me, I focus on writing the next paragraph or outlining the next chapter. A beautiful book about the joys, struggles, and rewards of writing is Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird. She describes writing as a gritty endeavor that requires courage to overcome procrastination born out of perfectionism to produce that “shitty first draft.” She says, “Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist’s true friend.”

Her book’s title reminds me to focus on taking that next small step to produce that shitty first draft. I remember the story of Anne Lamott’s brother for which the book is titled. She recounts the story in her book: “Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write, which was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.” Her father’s simple advice is something we can all use as a tool to stop procrastinating and take one small step, and then another.

It is a common mistake to think that our weaknesses are unique to us. They aren’t. Many of us wrongly believe that our weakness of willpower reveals a profound flaw in our character. It doesn’t. Frailties and imperfections are common. It is part of what it means to be human. They are so common that we marvel at and celebrate those that can overcome them. Weakness is a part of the human condition. We need to understand our limitations and develop effective strategies for coping with them. We all struggle with willpower, but most of us never seek a better understanding of it. The better we understand our human frailties, the better we can manage them to overcome our willpower challenges.

The only way to beat procrastination is to overcome the mental obstacles to starting. Marla Cilley, the creator of the 5-Minute Room Rescue, found an ingenious way to help us overcome procrastination. She suggests you commit to five minutes of work. For example, tell yourself, “All I am asking for is a five-minute commitment, after that we can stop.” Of course, after starting it is much easier to keep going. This same tactic can be applied to performing a workout when you just are not feeling it. Tell yourself, “let’s get changed, grab a cup of coffee, and warm-up for five minutes, and if we still are not feeling it, we can quit.” Once you get started, it is unlikely you won’t be able to finish the workout.

We have one brain but two minds. One mind is motivated by base instincts and strong emotions, the other is logic driven and focused on our long-term goals. Emotions are powerful. Overcoming them through sheer force of will is very taxing and can deplete our willpower reserves quickly, leaving us more vulnerable to the next temptation. Shrinking the commitment, by asking for only 5-minutes of work is a very effective strategy for overcoming our feelings. The more consistently we can overcome our emotions to do what is in line with our long-term goals the more successful we will be.

Consistency is the key to making progress. John Maxwell’s Power of Five provides a great example of the power of small persistent actions. He asks what would happen if you had a large tree on your property and you committed to taking five swings at it each day? The answer is always the same; the tree will eventually fall. It doesn’t matter how large the tree is. He has written over 70 successful books using the Power of Five. We are often intimidated by the large trees in our life, but if we just committed toward doing a little each day, instead of being overwhelmed by them we would achieve incredible results.

When it comes to writing, I subscribe to Steven King’s philosophy, “Don’t wait for the muse. As I’ve said, he’s a hardheaded guy who’s not susceptible to much creative fluttering. This isn’t the Ouija board or the spirit-world we’re talking about here, but just another job like laying pipe or driving long-haul trucks. Your job is to make sure the muse knows where you’re going to be every day from nine ’til noon or seven ’til three. If he does know, I assure you that sooner or later he’ll start showing up.” I keep showing up. The worst thing we could do is judge ourselves too harshly and believe our weakness of willpower reveals a unique flaw in our character instead of what it is, ordinary human frailty.

The three most important things to understand about willpower is: (1) we need to get adequate sleep each night to begin the day with the maximum amount of willpower (2) our willpower depletes as our day progresses, and (3) the more self-control we are forced to exercise, the faster the rate of depletion. Stress and fatigue are the enemies of willpower. If you wake-up each morning tired, you’re already starting the day at a willpower disadvantage. Most people need at least 7.5 to 8.5 hours of sleep each day. Since our willpower is greatest at the beginning of each day, that would be the best time to schedule the tasks that require the most willpower. You’ll also find you have a lot fewer interruptions in the morning. The last strategy and perhaps the most important is to avoid taxing our willpower unnecessarily. We want to shape our environment to promote positive habits and discourage negative ones.

I have made writing a daily a habit, so it doesn’t require much willpower anymore. It is just a part of my day. Most times I can block out distractions and my ideas flow. Sometimes I cannot, but I keep showing up, determined and excited to make whatever little bit of progress I can make each day with the time that I can set aside. I write in the early morning hours because the rest of my day is filled with personal and professional commitments. I know that if I keep plugging away, I will eventually complete this book and the other books I have already outlined. The key to finishing is to develop the habit of starting again each day. I don’t rely on willpower to write each day; I rely on my morning schedule. I don’t struggle with the decision. I look at the clock, and when it says 4:30 AM, my mind says it is time to write. Routines reap results because they don’t rely on willpower, that fickle friend that is never there for you when you need him. Disciplined habits are our best friends. “A small daily task, if it be really daily, will beat the labors of a spasmodic Hercules.” Anthony Trollope

The more we rely on willpower as our strategy for success, the less likely we are to achieve our goals. The problem with willpower is that it depletes as the day progresses and leaves us naked to temptation. It is more useful to shape our environment to reduce temptations and distractions than to rely on willpower and grit. When we overestimate our willpower, we unnecessarily expose ourselves to people, situations, and environments that will tempt us to break our resolutions. “Research shows that people who think they have the most willpower are actually the most likely to lose control when tempted. For example, smokers who are the most optimistic about their ability to resist temptation are the most likely to relapse four months later, and overoptimistic dieters are the least likely to lose weight. Why? They fail to predict when, where, and why they will give in. They expose themselves to more temptation,” Kelly McGonigal.

Ronald Amundsen

The 1909 race to the South Pole illustrates the necessity to identify the challenges ahead of you, learn from the success of those who have gone before you, and not to rely too heavily on grit and determination to push through whatever obstacles you encounter. Two teams took-up the challenge of being the first to reach the South Pole. One group was led by British Naval Officer Robert Scott and the other lead by Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen.

Amundsen gave his people the best possible equipment, and paced their journey to ensured he gave his men plenty of time to rest along the route. Scott’s team was ill-equipped. Inadequate clothes lead to frostbite, and poor goggles lead to snow blindness. Amundsen used dogs to haul their provisions, while Scott used untried motorized sleds which quickly failed, forcing his men to carry their provisions on sleds.

At the South Pole: Wilson (left), Scott, Oates (standing); Bowers and Evans (sitting)

Scott pushed on and ultimately made it to the South Pole, albeit one month behind Amundsen’s team. Tragically, no one on Scott’s team would survive the journey back, while Amundsen’s team returned with no severe maladies. There are many reasons for the radically different outcomes, but ultimately it was Scott’s overconfidence in the grit and resilience of his team that caused him to underestimate the difficulty of their journey. His dying words illustrate this point. “Had we lived, I should have had a tale to tell of the hardihood, endurance, and courage of my companions which would have stirred the heart of every Englishman. These rough notes and our dead bodies must tell the tale.”[iii]

I don’t want to diminish their courageous act of perseverance, but merely wish to point out that it could have been avoided. Scott could have given his team a better chance of success if he had better identify the challenges and better understood the limits of human endurance. This program offers tools to make your journey more manageable, but certainly not effortless. You will have to demonstrate some grit and willpower, but much less than if you didn’t use the proper strategies. The mistake I want us to avoid making is relying too heavily on willpower.

A plan that relies too heavily on willpower is doomed to failure. We are foolish to subject ourselves to temptation needlessly. Willpower is a fickle thing that often leaves us during our time of greatest need. As Shakespeare put it, “we are devils to ourselves, when we will tempt the frailty of our powers.”[iv] We shouldn’t tempt fate by relying on willpower when an effective strategy could reduce or eliminate the need for willpower. The proven strategies contained in this program will give you the greatest odds of success. Why make your journey any more difficult than it needs to be? The best use of our willpower is the implementation of strategies to reduce our need to exercise it.

The distance between our goals and where we are is the journey before us. When we choose to spend time with people that exhibit negative attitudes and behaviors, we are deciding to put rocks in our backpack. If we are trying to eat healthier but choose to stock our pantry with junk food, we are choosing to make our journey harder. We are consciously choosing to put pebbles in our shoes. Many people say they don’t want to deprive their kids, of what exactly I don’t know, a lifetime of sugar addiction? I believe desserts should be an occasional treat, not a daily indulgence.

These rocks and pebbles won’t produce an immediate failure, but they will make failure inevitable. The extra weight will slow your progress, and the pebbles will grind away at your resolve with each step you take; until you eventually give up. When your willpower finally gives out, you’ll blame it for your lack of success, instead of your decision to expose yourself to the temptations unnecessarily. You are going to need grit and willpower, just like Amundsen’s team surely did to successfully navigate the South Pole, but they combined it with the right tools and strategies.

Save your limited willpower for the temptations you cannot avoid, instead of putting more in your path. You are going to be tempted at the office to eat the donuts, cookies, and birthday cakes on a regular basis. Our supply of willpower can vary significantly from day to day depending on how stressful our day has been. This is especially true as the day wears on, and our ability to exert willpower is depleted to almost nothing. If we get adequate sleep each night, we begin the day with a willpower reservoir that is fully restored like your cellphone battery. The more we use it throughout the day, the quicker it depletes. Ever notice that most of our bad habits occur late at night?

That is because our willpower has evaporated and all we are left with is our desire to seek instant gratification and relief from our stressful day. Shaping your environment by eliminating the temptations you will encounter in the evening is the most effective strategy you can adopt. The next most effective technique is establishing an evening ritual that supports your goals. Habits conserve our willpower because they don’t require our conscious mind to decide what to do. The decision is made automatic through repetition. Our primitive mind encounters the cue and executes the routine automatically.

Change agents often find that what appears to be a people problem is a situation problem. Instead of taking on the difficult task of changing our behavior through willpower, we can often tweak our environment and make change happen painlessly. Instead of relying on workers following proper procedures, safety engineers install guards and controls to prevent workers from taking shortcuts that put themselves at risk. They do this because they know that it is easier to tweak the environment; rather than to force 100% compliance with proper procedure as workers become overconfident and complacent.

I hope you’ll decide to become an optimistic realist. I hope I have convinced you that we cannot ignore the challenges in front of us or imagine a future in which they won’t exist. We must develop a plan that relies less on willpower and more on structuring our environment to make good habits easier and bad habits more difficult. Our environment profoundly influences our behavior, so it is only logical that we would want to shape it to promote good habits and discourage bad ones.

A realistic optimist anticipates the challenges that are outside their control so they can develop and rehearse a simple plan to address them. If you are struggling to exercise five days a week consistently, I want you to first ask yourself “why am I NOT going to train five days this week?” Then I want you to develop a plan that will allow you to overcome the excuses. Optimism is an excellent source of motivation, but naïve optimism is a recipe for failure that ends in bitter disappointment. I want you to believe in yourself, but I want that believe to be based on the world as it is, and not based on the world as you would wish it to be. I want you to be a realistic optimist.

Best wishes and best health!

[i] Kelly McGonigal, The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It, Avery; Reprint edition (December 31, 2013)

[ii] Heidi Grant, Be an Optimist Without Being a Fool, Harvard Business Review, MAY 02, 2011

[iii] John C. Maxwell, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, HarperCollins Leadership; Revised & Updated edition (September 16, 2007)

[iv] William Shakespeare, Troilus and Cressida Translation, Act 4, Scene 4

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We want to be optimistic, but we don’t want to be a naive optimist. The naive optimist ignores the obstacles in their way and believes that they will not confront any challenges while striving to accomplish their goal. One of the most potent strategies for reaching a goal is to identify the obstacles ahead of time and to develop a plan to address each before they are encountered…

[comicteaparty]

November 8th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on November 8th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Anacrine Complex by Sae.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Anacrine Complex by Sae~! (http://pigeoncomic.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

RebelVampire

i liked the whole sequence in Lee's head. illustrative wise it was really creative and had so much subtle detail that helped breathe that sense that they were not in the real world. not to mention the color balance really leaves you feel kind of ominous

ShaRose49

What criticism? Man, I agree! I loved the sequence in his head, it was cooler to me than Inside Out in many ways cause it reminded me more of my own head

I think Lee was my favourite but Ben was so funny he reminded me of Hinayana from Haikyuu

Superjustinbros

Hello there~

ShaRose49

Hinata

Is what I meant to say

Hi!

Superjustinbros

Pleasure to be here ^^

ShaRose49

My favourite scene was probably the scene in Lee’s mind too-but I also loved the Jujitsu scene, and the scene at the beginning with Ben and Lee and the explosion

The pleasure is all ours

And I just found out that I have nowhere to be this evening so I’ll probably be chatting more than I thought

RebelVampire

fantastic

Superjustinbros

http://pigeoncomic.com/page/4

Looking through, I found this one charming

ShaRose49

It was a ton of fun

RebelVampire

i think ben is my favorite. cause while hes not as serious or practical as lee (which lee is a precious angel), i like how he has to basically interpret everything as a game. and i think they just make him really unique and entertaining

i like ben and lee as a package though. i think they have an interesting personality mesh that isnt quite perfect for drama but isnt quite completely opposite so they can work together and achieve common goals. like its that perfect blend of subtle awesome that not a lot of comics can achieve

Superjustinbros

http://pigeoncomic.com/post/170447488832/spider-ben-spider-ben-does-whatever-a-spider-ben This one was also good, the effects especially.

ShaRose49

Yeah I think characters were this comic’s greatest strength, which is the most important part of a story to me

AAAH that was great

Superjustinbros

Oh yes

Characters mean lots to me

Of you write them well and provide enough side-material to back them up

RebelVampire

yes that was definitely a fun scene. in general i like how the powers are visually depicted. i think it was a great choice to give them all diff colors schemes and aesthetics. it makes them stand out and you can always tell who is doing what.

i also love the random pigeon cameos.

these are the most photobombing pigeons in the land

Superjustinbros

Giving powers different colors is part of the fun, IMO

mathtans

Made it. You can probably guess at my favourite scene.

Superjustinbros

Glad I don't live in New York City then

Let me guess

It's loaded with puns

mathtans

It's where the trigonometry was used to knock the guy out. ^.-

Superjustinbros

o

mathtans

Also, Ben was using degrees, rather than radians, implying that it is coming from his own experiences rather than some meta-math in the environment.

'Course he uses the imperial system too, for whatever reason.

RebelVampire

that scene made me sad with jealousy because even when i was good at math, i always sucked at mental math. XD

mathtans

The sequence in Lee's head was pretty cool and creative. I suppose I felt I couldn't get as into it, I think because it just represented such an invasion of his privacy. (I liked how Lee addressed the whole "manipulation" thing later.)

Heh. I think that sort of mental math is beyond most people.

The visual depiction of the math-type powers as more cubic/angular was a nice choice too, I found.

Superjustinbros

>Rebel mentions math while Mathtans is in the chat(edited)

mathtans

Math's good stuff.

Superjustinbros

yes

It was my best school subject

till they stopped teaching it after tenth grade

mathtans

Actually, I kind of hate it when "doing mental math" is presented as some kind of superpower. I don't feel like that's the case here, because being able to judge distances, monetize portions of food, and hit precise estimations isn't the same thing as "I can multiply real fast". So that was good.

Superjustinbros

Yea

mathtans

Incidentally, how does magnetization powers give one the ability to X-Ray? Maybe I missed something in my science classes.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. Of all the characters, Lee seems to have the past that is most covered in mystery. What do you think happened in Lee’s past that caused him to have such a core of guilt? Was it related to Ana or was there something else going on? What even was Lee’s relationship with Ana? Why do you think Lee turned to illegal car theft activities, and what do you think caused him to go clean? Why do you think Lee is so desperate to patch things up with Sterling? How do you think Lee even knows Sterling in the first place? What do you think any of this has to do with the comic’s opening scene? Lastly, do you think Lee will manage to meet Sterling? If so, what do you think will happen?

mathtans

I think Lee and Sterling worked together in the past, maybe in a post-doc or something. There was that flashback sequence with the motorbike (I think that's what it was?) and stuff.

RebelVampire

arent mri machines basically just giant magnets?

i assume they took creative license based on that

mathtans

Ahh, maybe they are, right. Can't bring metal in and such.

RebelVampire

which actually explains why ben has that headache meltdown everytime hes near lee using his powers

cause like an mri machine, lee is pulling those metal shards

causing more damage

good job lee

lightlybow

Creator here, hey guys!! I'm so happy to see this discussion! To address the x-ray thing, there is a bit of creative license applied for sure. Lee can't literally see people's bones like in an x-ray, but he can sense metal objects and magnetic fields. I just had to find a way to visually represent that, and x-ray visuals felt like something that would be a really quick read for most of my audience.

And yeah Rebel, you're right on the money! Lee can easily move the little bits of metal around in Ben's brain if he isn't careful

mathtans

Right, the metal shard pulling thing I figured. (Also, I tend to agree with Lee that the guy should get that checked out! It cannot be good for the health.)

Oh, hihi creator! Must be early morning for you I guess.

Superjustinbros

Hello Lightlybow!

ShaRose49

Will Ben not have superpowers if the metal is removed?

RebelVampire

tbf going to the hospital might not do ben any good. cause if theyre in his brain thats already a very dangerous surgery

Superjustinbros

D:

ShaRose49

But will he get killed if he doesn’t remove the metal?!

mathtans

I feel like he might be able to calculate a way to deal with it mathematically. I mean, it was the substance on the metal that gave him the abilities, right? And it's supposed to be healing or something, so that's probably why he's still functional.

ShaRose49

Yikes wow but still

mathtans

Removing metal from head before wounds close seems prudent. shrugs

lightlybow

Ding ding ding! Ben's powers do come from the metal! Idk how many details you guys want...

Superjustinbros

Now that's why he can't do the surgery then, cause, well.

He loses the powers

ShaRose49

I think Lee worked with Sterling and they both love the same woman and that caused a rift between them. Maybe Lee tried to win Ana away from sterling or left him when he needed him because of Ana. This may be the biggest cause of his guilt since the thought of talking to Sterling is the only hope he has

But what if it’s unhealthy for Ben to have that metal??

mathtans

Ahh, interesting. (I mean, what do I know, right? ^.- ) Maybe Ben will learn that he doesn't need superpowers to be a cool guy. Particularly if he retains the fighting techniques.

RebelVampire

it is definitely unhealthy for ben to have metal in his head, especially around lee who can make it worse. XD i dont forsee ben wanting to give up powers tho

mathtans

Sha: I'm kind of with you, but I'm not sure Ana necessarily caused a rift directly... I feel more like maybe Lee decided he just couldn't work that close to them any more, and went looking for other work.

Illegal work, possibly.

Maybe he's got a bit of self loathing or something.

lightlybow

In terms of metal in the head/ injuries! There are reported cases of people living normal lives with shards of metal stuck in their brain matter. I was going off those when writing Ben, especially a case of someone who shot themselves with a nail gun and turned out to be just fine

Superjustinbros

That's an interesting piece of trivia

I have heard of people living with bullets lodged into their brain for years

as an example

mathtans

I've heard of that stuff, possibly even seen an XRay one time. Gives me the willies.

RebelVampire

yeah its definitely possible. but basically no mris ever which limits diagnostic tools ppl can use

which is not good cause mris are super powerful

im gonna go out on a limb and assume ana is dead or potentially in a coma. and that lee is (or assumes he was) the cause because whatever he used to contain the medicine that sterling had him built

and thats where his guilt is

mathtans

Lee's kind of my fave character, actually. Ben is too eager to treat everything as some kind of game, and Veda has no respect for boundaries.

RebelVampire

and that what happened between lee and sterling is they both feel responsible for what happened

and while lee wanted to move on, sterling wanted to obsess

mathtans

Rebel: If that's the case (interesting theory), maybe Lee just feels like if he'd stuck around (assuming it happened after he left), he'd have been able to do something.

RebelVampire

yeah.

alternatively

maybe ana is just sick in the hospital

and sterling is obsessing trying to save her

mathtans

Maybe he even has a theory for how to fix things but Sterling put a hit out on him and refuses to hear anything.

RebelVampire

and while lee should be supporting her he doesnt have the strength too

mathtans

Either way, if they end up talking, I feel like it would be near the climax.

Superjustinbros

Seconding Math

ShaRose49

I don’t think Ana is dead, otherwise this would be a lot like Miraculous Ladybug is recently

RebelVampire

i forsee that, but i also hope they dont wait till the climax. and that they hug and talk it out. and while they patch some things up theres stuff about the disease that fall to deaf ears on sterling's part(edited)

mathtans

I don't follow the reference, but okay.

ShaRose49

Sorry Miraculous is a silly romantic superhero cartoon that I love for some reason

RebelVampire

yeah i go back and forth on ana being dead. although i think we can at least assume something bad happened to her

mathtans

Just want to say, I thought putting in that scene of Sterling was a great move. I'd kind of pictured him having gone all "mad scientist", so the idea that he's kind of tortured and trying to fix things was an interesting window.

ShaRose49

Yeah I felt sorry for him he’s like an even more realistic Hawkmoth sorry I keep referencing Ml

ML

I love the realism in the drama for this comic

mathtans

Plot twist: Ana is actually one of the pigeons. Things went terribly wrong.

RebelVampire

yeah i really liked what that scene of sterling did

cause it knocked him down from enigmatic evil overlord to tortured human soul who is trying to fix something he doesnt know how to fix

lightlybow

OMG MATH

I'm crying

RebelVampire

ana is trying to tell lee shes a pigeon this whole time but lee just doesnt get it

lightlybow

all the pieces are falling together

mathtans

Ana tried to use the bird woman to get her message across. That also went badly.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Much of the current events of the comic are now being driven by Veda who wants to save her sister. Do you believe all Veda really wants to do is save Dani, or is something else going on? Do you think Dani is being held against her will, or might there be a reason she doesn’t want to see Veda? How exactly do you think Veda became exposed enough to the medicine to gain her powers? Is Veda so aggressive with her powers because of desperation to save her sister, or do you think it’s telling about what Veda does for a living in some way? At the hotel, we also see Veda get sick for a moment. Do you think her sudden illness is revealing? What about her words as she looked in the mirror? What consequences do you think this “sickness” will have for the group as a whole?

Superjustinbros

Math does it again

But I do wonder if there is some kind of dark secret to the pigeons, and why they're everywhare

lightlybow

"That also went badly"

ShaRose49

I think Veda is trying to save her sister, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was another motive as well. I think she gets fatigued severely from using her powers too much

Superjustinbros

I mean, magic exists in this world so that wouldn't be far out of the ordinary

but back onto the subject

RebelVampire

on a tangent i liked lee's convo with the old lady because it was so utterly ridiculous on so many levels. like who approaches some old lady on the bench and assumes she knows a lot about pigeons just cause shes showing them mild affection.

ShaRose49

Wait magic?! I missed that

Yeah but he was desperate lol

junebugjo

More like superpowers

Superjustinbros

As in, the en mase of pidgeons being a result somehow of everyone having powers

ShaRose49

Yeah I don’t think this was magic I didn’t get that at all just superhero sci-fi

Superjustinbros

lol

ShaRose49

Magic and sci-fi together can annoy me sometimes I just love my scifi

RebelVampire

i do think veda is trying to save her sister. but part of me wonders if its not just that her powers exhaust her. what if veda has the disease too and thats actually why she was exposed to the medicine? that is my out there theory

ShaRose49

Oh yeah....

That could be it

I wonder if people get the disease if they get the powers or if the powers don’t actually cure you

RebelVampire

oh man thatd be ironically sad. that the cure comes with the disease

mathtans

Sorry, in and out as the little one makes a fuss. I wonder if Veda's trying to save her sister more for herself than for her sister's sake. Like, she feels guilty over letting her go in the first place. (And what other doctor is she going to take her sister to if they get out? I mean really.)

RebelVampire

yeah i thought that too

about where would veda even take her

lightlybow

Yeah there aren't really any other doctors who can solve her problems but she's desperate

ShaRose49

Yeah Math could be right. (I’m doing Laundry right now lol) good luck with your little one!

RebelVampire

any other doctor is probably gonna tell her theres nothing they can do but make her comfortable and manage the symtoms

and give a death time estimate

lightlybow

*curently

*CURRENTLY DANGIT

Superjustinbros

Guess doctors aren't common in this universe or soemthing

junebugjo

Well doctors who can cure the disease aren’t

RebelVampire

well doctors who can cure this specific disease, yes XD

lightlybow

Junebug! Hello!

junebugjo

Hey!!!

RebelVampire

to answer another question on the list, i think dani's imprisonment is a bit of both. that sterling 100% is holding her but that even if veda came dani would tell her to go away for some reason. maybe to protect veda...or maybe veda and her had a fight just like lee and sterling had a fight. and later on that fight is something lee and veda can bond over

junebugjo

Certainly the fact that her ailment can’t easily be cured by someone else is a motivation for Dani to stay with Sterling

mathtans

Or maybe Dani also has mind powers and can tell that Veda's not being real sincere or something.

Superjustinbros

Hello Junebug~

lightlybow

Something the future script will touch on is whether the Cure is more important than the Person. If their physical health should be prized over their emotional well-being

RebelVampire

that sounds deep

ShaRose49

Hmm. I don’t know I wonder if Lee and Veda will start to like each other. Probably not but they do have some things in common

junebugjo

I really want them to(edited)

ShaRose49

What good is emotional well-being if you’re sick as a dog? You need a combination of both I guess

junebugjo

I desperately need them to be begrudging friends / partners in crime

ShaRose49

Haha

mathtans

He is a chick magnet. (That was a good line.)

Superjustinbros

Good one Math

RebelVampire

i feel like before lee and veda can get along they need to have a huge fight. like get all their reservations an stuff out in the open air. cause at the moment the entire relationship is kind of soured by veda's emotional blackmail

lightlybow

Yeah as it stands there's not much room for "getting along"

Superjustinbros

Yeah, that there's pretty twisted

junebugjo

I’m just a big sucker for characters like Veda esp if she goes through some good ol character development

lightlybow

wink wonk

RebelVampire

i think of the characters veda is the most likely who's gonna grow too. cause right now shes toeing that bad guy line a bit too hard

QUESTION 4. All these super powers are caused by one thing: Sterling and his magical Anacride medicine. Why do you think Sterling developed this medicine in the first place? Does it have something to do with Ana given the number of times she’s shown when talking about the disease it cures? What is going on with Sterling currently given he refuses to let families see those in his treatment program? Are there some sort of detrimental side effects he can’t control, or is something else afoot? Do you believe he can fix everything, or are the powers and other side effects now permanent? Also, what do you think happened to him that landed him in the hospital during one flashback? Finally, what does all this mean for Ben given that he has metal dangerously embedded in his head? Are Ben’s powers really caused by a brief exposure to the medicine, and will this journey change him in some way?

Superjustinbros

Character development makes the world go round

junebugjo

Ana could have the disease

Also is the uh medicine named after her

I feel like he could be desperate to find her a permanent and less detrimental cure so he goes through others not caring what happens to them so he can save Ana ?

RebelVampire

omg

i never connected ana's name was in the word anacride

junebugjo

I just now saw it capitalized and was like ???? Maybe ????

lightlybow

DING DING DING

junebugjo

Do I win a prize

Lol

lightlybow

Yes you get a pigeon. Here

junebugjo

I will take good care of him

Superjustinbros

Aww

RebelVampire

thatd be a sad approach is sterling was using everyone else to test the medicine before testing it on ana, assuming shes a victim. but now im wondering if maybe she isnt a victim. maybe she helped make the medicine but she had a falling out with sterling and now sterling hopes that if he makes the medicine succeed ana will love him again

Superjustinbros

Maybe

junebugjo

I feel like Ana has some dark side to her

mathtans

Okay, back, mostly. Oh, good call on the naming! Didn't register that.

junebugjo

Like she at least a little bit fudges the lines when it comes to pharmaceutical experimentation but wouldn’t go as far as sterling would idk

mathtans

Remember there was that flashback scene where Ana was actually helping Sterling due to his heart problem or whatever. I think maybe SHE developed the medicine, and Sterling's trying to perfect it for her.

So I guess similar to the "love me again" idea.

Except maybe it's just in her memory.

'You will be the last victim of this disease'...

RebelVampire

well tbf, the only viewpoints weve had of ana are those from ppl who love her in some capacity. so to them ana is probably an angel. so her having a dark side would not surprise me at all cause nobody is perfect an all that jazz

and yeah i considered that too, math. that this could just be a "last victim of the disease" sort of thing

mathtans

Ana is actually an NPC in the story.

She hands out the quests.

As a pigeon.

RebelVampire

its a good thing they have ben. he will figure out you have to accept the pigeon quests in order to progress the story

Superjustinbros

I shall do that o_ o\

Give me all them challenges

lightlybow

The clues were there all along. There she is, pigeon # 62

mathtans

Yeah, some of the "deluded Ben" stuff when Lee first found him was amusing. I'm glad it didn't become an overlong gag though.

lightlybow

http://pigeoncomic.com/post/162180122762/the-horror

Superjustinbros

For a sec I thought those were bats

mathtans

Speaking of amusing things - I liked some of the little background naming things. Like the diner that had been crossed out and it's like "Al's now" or whatever. Or the donut box saying to drink juice.

lightlybow

I'm so happy you noticed

mathtans

My favourite was the self defence book. "This convenient book is going to show you how not to get punched in the face".

Superjustinbros

The best kind of book

lightlybow

And in Ben's apartment there's a statue of Han Solo with the words "_ shot first" and the name is covered

mathtans

I think it also had a picture of the Matrix in it or something.

junebugjo

THATS MY FAVE

the Han statue

mathtans

Ahh, I interpreted that as "Han" (the statue) "shot first".

lightlybow

Oh I see!

mathtans

Probably why Ben's roommate moved out. A Star Wars disagreement.

lightlybow

Anyway I'm glad you guys enjoy the stupid jokes in the flavor text

junebugjo

I almost walked out of watching a new hope bc my friends all said exactly the opposite of who I think shot first

Superjustinbros

Always fun when the author sneaks in background gags/jokes

lightlybow

OMG

mathtans

I wonder what's in the van. Like, is it more of the drug? Could they actually analyze it before they do the run? (Though, they probably don't have time for that.)

RebelVampire

i assumed it was more of the drug

although

that begs the question of how its made

cause youd think sterling would make the drug in his lab

mathtans

Maybe he outsources.

junebugjo

Maybe ingredience

mathtans

Right, just gotta mix it with fructose.

lightlybow

The drug needs to go through a special process of pressurization and maturation before it's viable... so Sterling designs the drug but no one knows if it will work for a few weeks until they test it

mathtans

It's important to be mature about such things.

lightlybow

pun game on point

mathtans

Oh, nice detail about Lee's card being demagnetized btw. Hadn't occurred to me.

Poor guy.

lightlybow

In that pigeon comic it's implied that he keeps breaking watches too. It's really inconvenient!

Superjustinbros

Well, I guess it's almsot the end

RebelVampire

having magnetic powers sounds like all kinds of trouble. cant take him camping cause hell throw off the compasses. although you could use him to hold metal screws for you without them getting lost

mathtans

Right! I remember noticing that. Guess it does make it easier to fall off the grid.

Superjustinbros

In that case cya, and thanks for the great reads, @lightlybow

It was great metting ya.

mathtans

I wonder if Ben will compare him to Magneto.

junebugjo

He should

ShaRose49

I wonder what Dina!s gonna be like she looks like she could be a sweet but tortured soul

lightlybow

Great meeting you too @Superjustinbros !!

ShaRose49

He already did compare Lee to Magneto!

I remember he said “You totally Magnetoed him”

mathtans

I am clearly not paying enough attention. Must have read it as magnetized. It makes sense given his Marvel references.

lightlybow

Omg rebel I just imagined Veda sticking screws to Lee's face like "Here, hold this"

ShaRose49

Omgosh

mathtans

I could see that.

Anyway, definitely pulling for Lee. Guy can't seem to catch a break. Hope his mental demons are appeased.

lightlybow

Me too, buddy. Me too

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Sae, as well, for making Anacrine Complex. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Sae’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: http://pigeoncomic.com/

Sae’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cottonart

Sae’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/lightlybow

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Skeletons in the Closet by Niah. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, November 15th, from 5PM to 7PM PST for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: https://tapas.io/series/Skeletons-in-the-Closet

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20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You

Danielle Drislane

Toxic people such as malignant narcissists, psychopaths and those with antisocial traits engage in maladaptive behaviors in relationships that ultimately exploit, demean and hurt their intimate partners, family members and friends. They use a plethora of diversionary tactics that distort the reality of their victims and deflect responsibility. Although those who are not narcissistic can employ these tactics as well, abusive narcissists use these to an excessive extent in an effort to escape accountability for their actions.

Here are the 20 diversionary tactics toxic people use to silence and degrade you.

1. Gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can be described in different variations of three words: That didnt happen, You imagined it, and Are you crazy? Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most insidious manipulative tactics out there because it works to distort and erode your sense of reality; it eats away at your ability to trust yourself and inevitably disables you from feeling justified in calling out abuse and mistreatment.

When a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath gaslights you, you may be prone to gaslighting yourself as a way to reconcile the cognitive dissonance that might arise. Two conflicting beliefs battle it out: is this person right or can I trust what I experienced? A manipulative person will convince you that the former is an inevitable truth while the latter is a sign of dysfunction on your end.

In order to resist gaslighting, its important to ground yourself in your own reality sometimes writing things down as they happened, telling a friend or reiterating your experience to a support network can help to counteract the gaslighting effect. The power of having a validating community is that it can redirect you from the distorted reality of a malignant person and back to your own inner guidance.

2. Projection.

One sure sign of toxicity is when a person is chronically unwilling to see his or her own shortcomings and uses everything in their power to avoid being held accountable for them. This is known as projection. Projection is a defense mechanism used to displace responsibility of ones negative behavior and traits by attributing them to someone else. It ultimately acts as a digression that avoids ownership and accountability.

While we all engage in projection to some extent, according to Narcissistic Personality clinical expert Dr. Martinez-Lewi, the projections of a narcissist are often psychologically abusive. Rather than acknowledge their own flaws, imperfections and wrongdoings, malignant narcissists and sociopaths opt to dump their own traits on their unsuspecting suspects in a way that is painful and excessively cruel. Instead of admitting that self-improvement may be in order, they would prefer that their victims take responsibility for their behavior and feel ashamed of themselves. This is a way for a narcissist to project any toxic shame they have about themselves onto another.

For example, a person who engages in pathological lying may accuse their partner of fibbing; a needy spouse may call their husband clingy in an attempt to depict them as the one who is dependent; a rude employee may call their boss ineffective in an effort to escape the truth about their own productivity.

Narcissistic abusers love to play the blameshifting game. Objectives of the game: they win, you lose, and you or the world at large is blamed for everything thats wrong with . This way, you get to babysit their fragile ego while youre thrust into a sea of self-doubt. Fun, right?

Solution? Dont project your own sense of compassion or empathy onto a toxic person and dont own any of the toxic persons projections either. As manipulation expert and author Dr. George Simon (2010) notes in his book , projecting our own conscience and value system onto others has the potential consequence of being met with further exploitation.

Narcissists on the extreme end of the spectrum usually have no interest in self-insight or change. Its important to cut ties and end interactions with toxic people as soon as possible so you can get centered in your own reality and validate your own identity. You dont have to live in someone elses cesspool of dysfunction.

3. Nonsensical conversations from hell.

If you think youre going to have a thoughtful discussion with someone who is toxic, be prepared for epic mindfuckery rather than conversational mindfulness.

Malignant narcissists and sociopaths use word salad, circular conversations, ad hominem arguments, projection and gaslighting to disorient you and get you off track should you ever disagree with them or challenge them in any way. They do this in order to discredit, confuse and frustrate you, distract you from the main problem and make you feel guilty for being a human being with actual thoughts and feelings that might differ from their own. In their eyes, are the problem if you happen to exist.

Spend even ten minutes arguing with a toxic narcissist and youll find yourself wondering how the argument even began at all. You simply disagreed with them about their absurd claim that the sky is red and now your entire childhood, family, friends, career and lifestyle choices have come under attack. That is because your disagreement picked at their false belief that they are omnipotent and omniscient, resulting in a narcissistic injury.

Remember: toxic people dont argue with you, they essentially argue with themselves and you become privy to their long, draining monologues. They thrive off the drama and they live for it. Each and every time you attempt to provide a point that counters their ridiculous assertions, you feed them supply. Dont feed the narcissists supply rather, supply yourself with the confirmation that their abusive behavior is the problem, not you. Cut the interaction short as soon as you anticipate it escalating and use your energy on some decadent self-care instead.

4. Blanket statements and generalizations.

Malignant narcissists arent always intellectual masterminds many of them are intellectually lazy. Rather than taking the time to carefully consider a different perspective, they generalize anything and everything you say, making blanket statements that dont acknowledge the nuances in your argument or take into account the multiple perspectives youve paid homage to. Better yet, why not put a label on you that dismisses your perspective altogether?

On a larger scale, generalizations and blanket statements invalidate experiences that dont fit in the unsupported assumptions, schemas and stereotypes of society; they are also used to maintain the status quo. This form of digression exaggerates one perspective to the point where a social justice issue can become completely obscured. For example, rape accusations against well-liked figures are often met with the reminder that there are false reports of rape that occur. While those do occur, they are rare, and in this case, the actions of one become labeled the behavior of the majority while the specific report itself remains unaddressed.

These everyday microaggressions also happen in toxic relationships. If you bring up to a narcissistic abuser that their behavior is unacceptable for example, they will often make blanket generalizations about your hypersensitivity or make a generalization such as, You are satisfied, or Youre too sensitive rather than addressing the real issues at hand. Its possible that you are oversensitive at times, but it is also possible that the abuser is also insensitive and cruel the majority of the time.

Hold onto your truth and resist generalizing statements by realizing that they are in fact forms of black and white illogical thinking. Toxic people wielding blanket statements do not represent the full richness of experience they represent the limited one of their singular experience and overinflated sense of self.

5. Deliberately misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity.

In the hands of a malignant narcissist or sociopath, your differing opinions, legitimate emotions and lived experiences get translated into character flaws and evidence of your irrationality.

Narcissists weave tall tales to reframe what youre actually saying as a way to make your opinions look absurd or heinous. Lets say you bring up the fact that youre unhappy with the way a toxic friend is speaking to you. In response, he or she may put words in your mouth, saying, Oh, so now perfect? or So I am a bad person, huh? when youve done nothing but express your feelings. This enables them to invalidate your right to have thoughts and emotions about their inappropriate behavior and instills in you a sense of guilt when you attempt to establish boundaries.

This is also a popular form of diversion and cognitive distortion that is known as mind reading. Toxic people often presume they know what youre thinking and feeling. They chronically jump to conclusions based on their own triggers rather than stepping back to evaluate the situation mindfully. They act accordingly based on their own delusions and fallacies and make no apologies for the harm they cause as a result. Notorious for putting words in your mouth, they depict you as having an intention or outlandish viewpoint you didnt possess. They accuse you of thinking of them as toxic even before youve gotten the chance to call them out on their behavior and this also serves as a form of preemptive defense.

Simply stating, I never said that, and walking away should the person continue to accuse you of doing or saying something you didnt can help to set a firm boundary in this type of interaction. So long as the toxic person can blameshift and digress from their own behavior, they have succeeded in convincing you that you should be shamed for giving them any sort of realistic feedback.

6. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts.

The difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism is the presence of a personal attack and impossible standards. These so-called “critics” often don’t want to help you improve, they just want to nitpick, pull you down and scapegoat you in any way they can. Abusive narcissists and sociopaths employ a logical fallacy known as moving the goalposts in order to ensure that they have every reason to be perpetually dissatisfied with you. This is when, even after youve provided all the evidence in the world to validate your argument or taken an action to meet their request, they set up another expectation of you or demand more proof.

Do you have a successful career? The narcissist will then start to pick on why you arent a multi-millionaire yet. Did you already fulfill their need to be excessively catered to? Now its time to prove that you can also remain independent. The goal posts will perpetually change and may not even be related to each other; they dont have any other point besides making you vie for the narcissists approval and validation.

By raising the expectations higher and higher each time or switching them completely, highly manipulative and toxic people are able to instill in you a pervasive sense of unworthiness and of never feeling quite enough. By pointing out one irrelevant fact or one thing you did wrong and developing a hyperfocus on it, narcissists get to divert from your strengths and pull you into obsessing over any flaws or weaknesses instead. They get you thinking about the next expectation of theirs youre going to have to meet until eventually youve bent over backwards trying to fulfill their every need only to realize it didnt change the horrific way they treated you.

Dont get sucked into nitpicking and changing goal posts if someone chooses to rehash an irrelevant point over and over again to the point where they arent acknowledging the work youve done to validate your point or satisfy them, their motive isnt to better understand. Its to further provoke you into feeling as if you have to constantly prove yourself. Validate and approve of yourself. Know that you are enough and you dont have to be made to feel constantly deficient or unworthy in some way.

7. Changing the subject to evade accountability.

This type of tactic is what I like to call the What about me? syndrome. It is a literal digression from the actual topic that works to redirect attention to a different issue altogether. Narcissists dont want you to be on the topic of holding them accountable for anything, so they will reroute discussions to benefit them. Complaining about their neglectful parenting? Theyll point out a mistake you committed seven years ago. This type of diversion has no limits in terms of time or subject content, and often begins with a sentence like What about the time when

On a macrolevel, these diversions work to derail discussions that challenge the status quo. A discussion about gay rights, for example, may be derailed quickly by someone who brings in another social justice issue just to distract people from the main argument.

As Tara Moss, author of , notes, specificity is needed in order to resolve and address issues appropriately that doesnt mean that the issues that are being brought up dont matter, it just means that the specific time and place may not be the best context to discuss them.

Dont be derailed if someone pulls a switcheroo on you, you can exercise what I call the broken record method and continue stating the facts without giving in to their distractions. Redirect their redirection by saying, Thats not what I am talking about. Lets stay focused on the real issue. If theyre not interested, disengage and spend your energy on something more constructive – like not having a debate with someone who has the mental age of a toddler.

8. Covert and overt threats.

Narcissistic abusers and otherwise toxic people feel very threatened when their excessive sense of entitlement, false sense of superiority and grandiose sense of self are challenged in any way. They are prone to making unreasonable demands on others while punishing you for not living up to their impossible to reach expectations.

Rather than tackle disagreements or compromises maturely, they set out to divert you from your right to have your own identity and perspective by attempting to instill fear in you about the consequences of disagreeing or complying with their demands. To them, any challenge results in an ultimatum and do this or Ill do that becomes their daily mantra.

If someones reaction to you setting boundaries or having a differing opinion from your own is to threaten you into submission, whether its a thinly veiled threat or an overt admission of what they plan to do, this is a red flag of someone who has a high degree of entitlement and has no plans of compromising. Take threats seriously and show the narcissist you mean business; document threats and report them whenever possible and legally feasible.

9. Name-calling.

Narcissists preemptively blow anything they perceive as a threat to their superiority out of proportion. In their world, only they can ever be right and anyone who dares to say otherwise creates a narcissistic injury that results in narcissistic rage. As Mark Goulston, M.D. asserts, narcissistic rage does not result from low self-esteem but rather a high sense of entitlement and false sense of superiority.

The lowest of the low resort to narcissistic rage in the form of name-calling when they cant think of a better way to manipulate your opinion or micromanage your emotions. Name-calling is a quick and easy way to put you down, degrade you and insult your intelligence, appearance or behavior while invalidating your right to be a separate person with a right to his or her perspective.

Name-calling can also be used to criticize your beliefs, opinions and insights. A well-researched perspective or informed opinion suddenly becomes silly or idiotic in the hands of a malignant narcissist or sociopath who feels threatened by it and cannot make a respectful, convincing rebuttal. Rather than target your argument, they target you as a person and seek to undermine your credibility and intelligence in any way they possibly can. Its important to end any interaction that consists of name-calling and communicate that you wont tolerate it. Dont internalize it: realize that they are resorting to name-calling because they are deficient in higher level methods.

Want more writing like this? Read the book

10. Destructive conditioning.

Toxic people condition you to associate your strengths, talents, and happy memories with abuse, frustration and disrespect. They do this by sneaking in covert and overt put-downs about the qualities and traits they once idealized as well as sabotaging your goals, ruining celebrations, vacations and holidays. They may even isolate you from your friends and family and make you financially dependent upon them. Like Pavlovs dogs, youre essentially trained over time to become afraid of doing the very things that once made your life fulfilling.

Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths and otherwise toxic people do this because they wish to divert attention back to themselves and how youre going to please them. If there is anything outside of them that may threaten their control over your life, they seek to destroy it. They need to be the center of attention at all times. In the idealization phase, you were once the center of a narcissists world now the narcissist becomes the center of yours.

Narcissists are also naturally pathologically envious and dont want anything to come in between them and their influence over you. Your happiness represents everything they feel they cannot have in their emotionally shallow lives. After all, if you learn that you can get validation, respect and love from other sources besides the toxic person, whats to keep you from leaving them? To toxic people, a little conditioning can go a long way to keep you walking on eggshells and falling just short of your big dreams.

11. Smear campaigns and stalking.

When toxic types cant control the way you see yourself, they start to control how others see you; they play the martyr while youre labeled the toxic one. A smear campaign is a preemptive strike to sabotage your reputation and slander your name so that you wont have a support network to fall back on lest you decide to detach and cut ties with this toxic person. They may even stalk and harass you or the people you know as a way to supposedly expose the truth about you; this exposure acts as a way to hide their own abusive behavior while projecting it onto you.

Some smear campaigns can even work to pit two people or two groups against each other. A victim in an abusive relationship with a narcissist often doesnt know whats being said about them during the relationship, but they eventually find out the falsehoods shortly after theyve been discarded.

Toxic people will gossip behind your back (and in front of your face), slander you to your loved ones or their loved ones, create stories that depict you as the aggressor while they play the victim, and claim that you engaged in the same behaviors that they are afraid you will accuse them of engaging in. They will also methodically, covertly and deliberately abuse you so they can use your reactions as a way to prove that they are the so-called victims of your abuse.

The best way to handle a smear campaign is to stay mindful of your reactions and stick to the facts. This is especially pertinent for high-conflict divorces with narcissists who may use your reactions to their provocations against you. Document any form of harassment, cyberbullying or stalking incidents and always speak to your narcissist through a lawyer whenever possible. You may wish to take legal action if you feel the stalking and harassment is getting out of control; finding a lawyer who is well-versed in Narcissistic Personality Disorder is crucial if thats the case. Your character and integrity will speak for itself when the narcissists false mask begins to slip.

12. Love-bombing and devaluation.

Toxic people put you through an idealization phase until youre sufficiently hooked and invested in beginning a friendship or relationship with you. Then, they begin to devalue you while insulting the very things they admired in the first place. Another variation of this is when a toxic individual puts you on a pedestal while aggressively devaluing and attacking someone else who threatens their sense of superiority.

Narcissistic abusers do this all the time they devalue their exes to their new partners, and eventually the new partner starts to receive the same sort of mistreatment as the narcissists ex-partner. Ultimately what will happen is that you will also be on the receiving end of the same abuse. You will one day be the ex-partner they degrade to their new source of supply. You just dont know it yet. Thats why its important to stay mindful of the love-bombing technique whenever you witness behavior that doesnt align with the saccharine sweetness a narcissist subjects you to.

As life coach Wendy Powell suggests, slowing things down with people you suspect may be toxic is an important way of combating the love-bombing technique. Be wary of the fact that how a person treats or speaks about someone else could potentially translate into the way they will treat you in the future.

13. Preemptive defense.

When someone stresses the fact that they are a nice guy or girl, that you should trust them right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, be wary.

Toxic and abusive people overstate their ability to be kind and compassionate. They often tell you that you should trust them without first building a solid foundation of trust. They may perform a high level of sympathy and empathy at the beginning of your relationship to dupe you, only to unveil their false mask later on. When you see their false mask begins to slip periodically during the devaluation phase of the abuse cycle, the true self is revealed to be terrifyingly cold, callous and contemptuous.

Genuinely nice people rarely have to persistently show off their positive qualities they exude their warmth more than they talk about it and they know that actions speak volumes more than mere words. They know that trust and respect is a two-way street that requires reciprocity, not repetition.

To counter a preemptive defense, reevaluate why a person may be emphasizing their good qualities. Is it because they think you dont trust them, or because they know you shouldnt? Trust actions more than empty words and see how someones actions communicate who they are, not who they say they are.

14. Triangulation.

Bringing in the opinion, perspective or suggested threat of another person into the dynamic of an interaction is known as triangulation. Often used to validate the toxic persons abuse while invalidating the victims reactions to abuse, triangulation can also work to manufacture love triangles that leave you feeling unhinged and insecure.

Malignant narcissists love to triangulate their significant other with strangers, co-workers, ex-partners, friends and even family members in order to evoke jealousy and uncertainty in you. They also use the opinions of others to validate their point of view.

This is a diversionary tactic meant to pull your attention away from their abusive behavior and into a false image of them as a desirable, sought after person. It also leaves you questioning yourself if Mary did agree with Tom, doesnt that mean that you must be wrong? The truth is, narcissists love to report back falsehoods about others say about you, when in fact, they are the ones smearing you.

To resist triangulation tactics, realize that whoever the narcissist is triangulating with is also being triangulated by your relationship with the narcissist as well. Everyone is essentially being played by this one person. Reverse triangulate the narcissist by gaining support from a third party that is not under the narcissists influence and also by seeking your own validation.

15. Bait and feign innocence.

Toxic individuals lure you into a false sense of security simply to have a platform to showcase their cruelty. Baiting you into a mindless, chaotic argument can escalate into a showdown rather quickly with someone who doesnt know the meaning of respect. A simple disagreement may bait you into responding politely initially, until it becomes clear that the person has a malicious motive of tearing you down.

By baiting you with a seemingly innocuous comment disguised as a rational one, they can then begin to play with you. Remember: narcissistic abusers have learned about your insecurities, the unsettling catchphrases that interrupt your confidence, and the disturbing topics that reenact your wounds and they use this knowledge maliciously to provoke you. After youve fallen for it, hook line and sinker, theyll stand back and innocently ask whether youre okay and talk about how they didnt mean to agitate you. This faux innocence works to catch you off guard and make you believe that they truly didnt intend to hurt you, until it happens so often you cant deny the reality of their malice any longer.

It helps to realize when youre being baited so you can avoid engaging altogether. Provocative statements, name-calling, hurtful accusations or unsupported generalizations, for example, are common baiting tactics. Your gut instinct can also tell you when youre being baited if you feel off about a certain comment and continue to feel this way even after it has been expanded on, thats a sign you may need to take some space to reevaluate the situation before choosing to respond.

16. Boundary testing and hoovering.

Narcissists, sociopaths and otherwise toxic people continually try and test your boundaries to see which ones they can trespass. The more violations theyre able to commit without consequences, the more theyll push the envelope. Thats why survivors of emotional as well as physical abuse often experience even more severe incidents of abuse each and every time they go back to their abusers.

Abusers tend to hoover their victims back in with sweet promises, fake remorse and empty words of how they are going to change, only to abuse their victims even more horrifically. In the abusers sick mind, this boundary testing serves as a punishment for standing up to the abuse and also for being going back to it. When narcissists try to press the emotional reset button, reinforce your boundaries even more strongly rather than backtracking on them.

17. Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes.

Covert narcissists enjoy making malicious remarks at your expense. These are usually dressed up as just jokes so that they can get away with saying appalling things while still maintaining an innocent, cool demeanor. Yet any time you are outraged at an insensitive, harsh remark, you are accused of having no sense of humor. This is a tactic frequently used in verbal abuse.

The contemptuous smirk and sadistic gleam in their eyes gives it away, however like a predator that plays with its food, a toxic person gains pleasure from hurting you and being able to get away with it. After all, its just a joke, right? Wrong. Its a way to gaslight you into thinking their abuse is a joke a way to divert from their cruelty and onto your perceived sensitivity. It is important that when this happens, you stand up for yourself and make it clear that you wont tolerate this type of behavior.

Calling out manipulative people on their covert put-downs may result in further gaslighting from the abuser but maintain your stance that their behavior is not okay and end the interaction immediately if you have to.

18. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone.

Belittling and degrading a person is a toxic persons forte and their tone of voice is only one tool in their toolbox. Sarcasm can be a fun mode of communication when both parties are engaged, but narcissists use it chronically as a way to manipulate you and degrade you. If you in any way react to it, you must be too sensitive.

Forget that the toxic person constantly has temper tantrums every time their big bad ego is faced with realistic feedback the victim is the hypersensitive one, apparently. So long as youre treated like a child and constantly challenged for expressing yourself, youll start to develop a sense of hypervigilance about voicing your thoughts and opinions without reprimand. This self-censorship enables the abuser to put in less work in silencing you, because you begin to silence yourself.

Whenever you are met with a condescending demeanor or tone, call it out firmly and assertively. You dont deserve to be spoken down to like a child nor should you ever silence yourself to meet the expectation of someone elses superiority complex.

19. Shaming.

You should be ashamed of yourself is a favorite saying of toxic people. Though it can be used by someone who is non-toxic, in the realm of the narcissist or sociopath, shaming is an effective method that targets any behavior or belief that might challenge a toxic persons power. It can also be used to destroy and whittle away at a victims self-esteem: if a victim dares to be proud of something, shaming the victim for that specific trait, quality or accomplishment can serve to diminish their sense of self and stifle any pride they may have.

Malignant narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths enjoy using your own wounds against you so they will even shame you about any abuse or injustice youve suffered in your lifetime as a way to retraumatize you. Were you a childhood abuse survivor? A malignant narcissist or sociopath will claim that you mustve done something to deserve it, or brag about their own happy childhood as a way to make you feel deficient and unworthy. What better way to injure you, after all, than to pick at the original wound? As surgeons of madness, they seek to exacerbate wounds, not help heal them.

If you suspect youre dealing with a toxic person, avoid revealing any of your vulnerabilities or past traumas. Until theyve proven their character to you, there is no point disclosing information that could be potentially used against you.

20. Control.

Most importantly, toxic abusers love to maintain control in whatever way they can. They isolate you, maintain control over your finances and social networks, and micromanage every facet of your life. Yet the most powerful mechanism they have for control is toying with your emotions.

Thats why abusive narcissists and sociopaths manufacture situations of conflict out of thin air to keep you feeling off center and off balanced. Thats why they chronically engage in disagreements about irrelevant things and rage over perceived slights. Thats why they emotionally withdraw, only to re-idealize you once they start to lose control. Thats why they vacillate between their false self and their true self, so you never get a sense of psychological safety or certainty about who your partner truly is.

The more power they have over your emotions, the less likely you’ll trust your own reality and the truth about the abuse you’re enduring. Knowing the manipulative tactics and how they work to erode your sense of self can arm you with the knowledge of what youre facing and at the very least, develop a plan to regain control over your own life and away from toxic people.

Shahida Arabi is the author of the book , available here.

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20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You

Danielle Drislane

Toxic people such as malignant narcissists, psychopaths and those with antisocial traits engage in maladaptive behaviors in relationships that ultimately exploit, demean and hurt their intimate partners, family members and friends. They use a plethora of diversionary tactics that distort the reality of their victims and deflect responsibility. Although those who are not narcissistic can employ these tactics as well, abusive narcissists use these to an excessive extent in an effort to escape accountability for their actions.

Here are the 20 diversionary tactics toxic people use to silence and degrade you.

1. Gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can be described in different variations of three words: That didnt happen, You imagined it, and Are you crazy? Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most insidious manipulative tactics out there because it works to distort and erode your sense of reality; it eats away at your ability to trust yourself and inevitably disables you from feeling justified in calling out abuse and mistreatment.

When a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath gaslights you, you may be prone to gaslighting yourself as a way to reconcile the cognitive dissonance that might arise. Two conflicting beliefs battle it out: is this person right or can I trust what I experienced? A manipulative person will convince you that the former is an inevitable truth while the latter is a sign of dysfunction on your end.

In order to resist gaslighting, its important to ground yourself in your own reality sometimes writing things down as they happened, telling a friend or reiterating your experience to a support network can help to counteract the gaslighting effect. The power of having a validating community is that it can redirect you from the distorted reality of a malignant person and back to your own inner guidance.

2. Projection.

One sure sign of toxicity is when a person is chronically unwilling to see his or her own shortcomings and uses everything in their power to avoid being held accountable for them. This is known as projection. Projection is a defense mechanism used to displace responsibility of ones negative behavior and traits by attributing them to someone else. It ultimately acts as a digression that avoids ownership and accountability.

While we all engage in projection to some extent, according to Narcissistic Personality clinical expert Dr. Martinez-Lewi, the projections of a narcissist are often psychologically abusive. Rather than acknowledge their own flaws, imperfections and wrongdoings, malignant narcissists and sociopaths opt to dump their own traits on their unsuspecting suspects in a way that is painful and excessively cruel. Instead of admitting that self-improvement may be in order, they would prefer that their victims take responsibility for their behavior and feel ashamed of themselves. This is a way for a narcissist to project any toxic shame they have about themselves onto another.

For example, a person who engages in pathological lying may accuse their partner of fibbing; a needy spouse may call their husband clingy in an attempt to depict them as the one who is dependent; a rude employee may call their boss ineffective in an effort to escape the truth about their own productivity.

Narcissistic abusers love to play the blameshifting game. Objectives of the game: they win, you lose, and you or the world at large is blamed for everything thats wrong with . This way, you get to babysit their fragile ego while youre thrust into a sea of self-doubt. Fun, right?

Solution? Dont project your own sense of compassion or empathy onto a toxic person and dont own any of the toxic persons projections either. As manipulation expert and author Dr. George Simon (2010) notes in his book , projecting our own conscience and value system onto others has the potential consequence of being met with further exploitation.

Narcissists on the extreme end of the spectrum usually have no interest in self-insight or change. Its important to cut ties and end interactions with toxic people as soon as possible so you can get centered in your own reality and validate your own identity. You dont have to live in someone elses cesspool of dysfunction.

3. Nonsensical conversations from hell.

If you think youre going to have a thoughtful discussion with someone who is toxic, be prepared for epic mindfuckery rather than conversational mindfulness.

Malignant narcissists and sociopaths use word salad, circular conversations, ad hominem arguments, projection and gaslighting to disorient you and get you off track should you ever disagree with them or challenge them in any way. They do this in order to discredit, confuse and frustrate you, distract you from the main problem and make you feel guilty for being a human being with actual thoughts and feelings that might differ from their own. In their eyes, are the problem if you happen to exist.

Spend even ten minutes arguing with a toxic narcissist and youll find yourself wondering how the argument even began at all. You simply disagreed with them about their absurd claim that the sky is red and now your entire childhood, family, friends, career and lifestyle choices have come under attack. That is because your disagreement picked at their false belief that they are omnipotent and omniscient, resulting in a narcissistic injury.

Remember: toxic people dont argue with you, they essentially argue with themselves and you become privy to their long, draining monologues. They thrive off the drama and they live for it. Each and every time you attempt to provide a point that counters their ridiculous assertions, you feed them supply. Dont feed the narcissists supply rather, supply yourself with the confirmation that their abusive behavior is the problem, not you. Cut the interaction short as soon as you anticipate it escalating and use your energy on some decadent self-care instead.

4. Blanket statements and generalizations.

Malignant narcissists arent always intellectual masterminds many of them are intellectually lazy. Rather than taking the time to carefully consider a different perspective, they generalize anything and everything you say, making blanket statements that dont acknowledge the nuances in your argument or take into account the multiple perspectives youve paid homage to. Better yet, why not put a label on you that dismisses your perspective altogether?

On a larger scale, generalizations and blanket statements invalidate experiences that dont fit in the unsupported assumptions, schemas and stereotypes of society; they are also used to maintain the status quo. This form of digression exaggerates one perspective to the point where a social justice issue can become completely obscured. For example, rape accusations against well-liked figures are often met with the reminder that there are false reports of rape that occur. While those do occur, they are rare, and in this case, the actions of one become labeled the behavior of the majority while the specific report itself remains unaddressed.

These everyday microaggressions also happen in toxic relationships. If you bring up to a narcissistic abuser that their behavior is unacceptable for example, they will often make blanket generalizations about your hypersensitivity or make a generalization such as, You are satisfied, or Youre too sensitive rather than addressing the real issues at hand. Its possible that you are oversensitive at times, but it is also possible that the abuser is also insensitive and cruel the majority of the time.

Hold onto your truth and resist generalizing statements by realizing that they are in fact forms of black and white illogical thinking. Toxic people wielding blanket statements do not represent the full richness of experience they represent the limited one of their singular experience and overinflated sense of self.

5. Deliberately misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity.

In the hands of a malignant narcissist or sociopath, your differing opinions, legitimate emotions and lived experiences get translated into character flaws and evidence of your irrationality.

Narcissists weave tall tales to reframe what youre actually saying as a way to make your opinions look absurd or heinous. Lets say you bring up the fact that youre unhappy with the way a toxic friend is speaking to you. In response, he or she may put words in your mouth, saying, Oh, so now perfect? or So I am a bad person, huh? when youve done nothing but express your feelings. This enables them to invalidate your right to have thoughts and emotions about their inappropriate behavior and instills in you a sense of guilt when you attempt to establish boundaries.

This is also a popular form of diversion and cognitive distortion that is known as mind reading. Toxic people often presume they know what youre thinking and feeling. They chronically jump to conclusions based on their own triggers rather than stepping back to evaluate the situation mindfully. They act accordingly based on their own delusions and fallacies and make no apologies for the harm they cause as a result. Notorious for putting words in your mouth, they depict you as having an intention or outlandish viewpoint you didnt possess. They accuse you of thinking of them as toxic even before youve gotten the chance to call them out on their behavior and this also serves as a form of preemptive defense.

Simply stating, I never said that, and walking away should the person continue to accuse you of doing or saying something you didnt can help to set a firm boundary in this type of interaction. So long as the toxic person can blameshift and digress from their own behavior, they have succeeded in convincing you that you should be shamed for giving them any sort of realistic feedback.

6. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts.

The difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism is the presence of a personal attack and impossible standards. These so-called “critics” often don’t want to help you improve, they just want to nitpick, pull you down and scapegoat you in any way they can. Abusive narcissists and sociopaths employ a logical fallacy known as moving the goalposts in order to ensure that they have every reason to be perpetually dissatisfied with you. This is when, even after youve provided all the evidence in the world to validate your argument or taken an action to meet their request, they set up another expectation of you or demand more proof.

Do you have a successful career? The narcissist will then start to pick on why you arent a multi-millionaire yet. Did you already fulfill their need to be excessively catered to? Now its time to prove that you can also remain independent. The goal posts will perpetually change and may not even be related to each other; they dont have any other point besides making you vie for the narcissists approval and validation.

By raising the expectations higher and higher each time or switching them completely, highly manipulative and toxic people are able to instill in you a pervasive sense of unworthiness and of never feeling quite enough. By pointing out one irrelevant fact or one thing you did wrong and developing a hyperfocus on it, narcissists get to divert from your strengths and pull you into obsessing over any flaws or weaknesses instead. They get you thinking about the next expectation of theirs youre going to have to meet until eventually youve bent over backwards trying to fulfill their every need only to realize it didnt change the horrific way they treated you.

Dont get sucked into nitpicking and changing goal posts if someone chooses to rehash an irrelevant point over and over again to the point where they arent acknowledging the work youve done to validate your point or satisfy them, their motive isnt to better understand. Its to further provoke you into feeling as if you have to constantly prove yourself. Validate and approve of yourself. Know that you are enough and you dont have to be made to feel constantly deficient or unworthy in some way.

7. Changing the subject to evade accountability.

This type of tactic is what I like to call the What about me? syndrome. It is a literal digression from the actual topic that works to redirect attention to a different issue altogether. Narcissists dont want you to be on the topic of holding them accountable for anything, so they will reroute discussions to benefit them. Complaining about their neglectful parenting? Theyll point out a mistake you committed seven years ago. This type of diversion has no limits in terms of time or subject content, and often begins with a sentence like What about the time when

On a macrolevel, these diversions work to derail discussions that challenge the status quo. A discussion about gay rights, for example, may be derailed quickly by someone who brings in another social justice issue just to distract people from the main argument.

As Tara Moss, author of , notes, specificity is needed in order to resolve and address issues appropriately that doesnt mean that the issues that are being brought up dont matter, it just means that the specific time and place may not be the best context to discuss them.

Dont be derailed if someone pulls a switcheroo on you, you can exercise what I call the broken record method and continue stating the facts without giving in to their distractions. Redirect their redirection by saying, Thats not what I am talking about. Lets stay focused on the real issue. If theyre not interested, disengage and spend your energy on something more constructive – like not having a debate with someone who has the mental age of a toddler.

8. Covert and overt threats.

Narcissistic abusers and otherwise toxic people feel very threatened when their excessive sense of entitlement, false sense of superiority and grandiose sense of self are challenged in any way. They are prone to making unreasonable demands on others while punishing you for not living up to their impossible to reach expectations.

Rather than tackle disagreements or compromises maturely, they set out to divert you from your right to have your own identity and perspective by attempting to instill fear in you about the consequences of disagreeing or complying with their demands. To them, any challenge results in an ultimatum and do this or Ill do that becomes their daily mantra.

If someones reaction to you setting boundaries or having a differing opinion from your own is to threaten you into submission, whether its a thinly veiled threat or an overt admission of what they plan to do, this is a red flag of someone who has a high degree of entitlement and has no plans of compromising. Take threats seriously and show the narcissist you mean business; document threats and report them whenever possible and legally feasible.

9. Name-calling.

Narcissists preemptively blow anything they perceive as a threat to their superiority out of proportion. In their world, only they can ever be right and anyone who dares to say otherwise creates a narcissistic injury that results in narcissistic rage. As Mark Goulston, M.D. asserts, narcissistic rage does not result from low self-esteem but rather a high sense of entitlement and false sense of superiority.

The lowest of the low resort to narcissistic rage in the form of name-calling when they cant think of a better way to manipulate your opinion or micromanage your emotions. Name-calling is a quick and easy way to put you down, degrade you and insult your intelligence, appearance or behavior while invalidating your right to be a separate person with a right to his or her perspective.

Name-calling can also be used to criticize your beliefs, opinions and insights. A well-researched perspective or informed opinion suddenly becomes silly or idiotic in the hands of a malignant narcissist or sociopath who feels threatened by it and cannot make a respectful, convincing rebuttal. Rather than target your argument, they target you as a person and seek to undermine your credibility and intelligence in any way they possibly can. Its important to end any interaction that consists of name-calling and communicate that you wont tolerate it. Dont internalize it: realize that they are resorting to name-calling because they are deficient in higher level methods.

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10. Destructive conditioning.

Toxic people condition you to associate your strengths, talents, and happy memories with abuse, frustration and disrespect. They do this by sneaking in covert and overt put-downs about the qualities and traits they once idealized as well as sabotaging your goals, ruining celebrations, vacations and holidays. They may even isolate you from your friends and family and make you financially dependent upon them. Like Pavlovs dogs, youre essentially trained over time to become afraid of doing the very things that once made your life fulfilling.

Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths and otherwise toxic people do this because they wish to divert attention back to themselves and how youre going to please them. If there is anything outside of them that may threaten their control over your life, they seek to destroy it. They need to be the center of attention at all times. In the idealization phase, you were once the center of a narcissists world now the narcissist becomes the center of yours.

Narcissists are also naturally pathologically envious and dont want anything to come in between them and their influence over you. Your happiness represents everything they feel they cannot have in their emotionally shallow lives. After all, if you learn that you can get validation, respect and love from other sources besides the toxic person, whats to keep you from leaving them? To toxic people, a little conditioning can go a long way to keep you walking on eggshells and falling just short of your big dreams.

11. Smear campaigns and stalking.

When toxic types cant control the way you see yourself, they start to control how others see you; they play the martyr while youre labeled the toxic one. A smear campaign is a preemptive strike to sabotage your reputation and slander your name so that you wont have a support network to fall back on lest you decide to detach and cut ties with this toxic person. They may even stalk and harass you or the people you know as a way to supposedly expose the truth about you; this exposure acts as a way to hide their own abusive behavior while projecting it onto you.

Some smear campaigns can even work to pit two people or two groups against each other. A victim in an abusive relationship with a narcissist often doesnt know whats being said about them during the relationship, but they eventually find out the falsehoods shortly after theyve been discarded.

Toxic people will gossip behind your back (and in front of your face), slander you to your loved ones or their loved ones, create stories that depict you as the aggressor while they play the victim, and claim that you engaged in the same behaviors that they are afraid you will accuse them of engaging in. They will also methodically, covertly and deliberately abuse you so they can use your reactions as a way to prove that they are the so-called victims of your abuse.

The best way to handle a smear campaign is to stay mindful of your reactions and stick to the facts. This is especially pertinent for high-conflict divorces with narcissists who may use your reactions to their provocations against you. Document any form of harassment, cyberbullying or stalking incidents and always speak to your narcissist through a lawyer whenever possible. You may wish to take legal action if you feel the stalking and harassment is getting out of control; finding a lawyer who is well-versed in Narcissistic Personality Disorder is crucial if thats the case. Your character and integrity will speak for itself when the narcissists false mask begins to slip.

12. Love-bombing and devaluation.

Toxic people put you through an idealization phase until youre sufficiently hooked and invested in beginning a friendship or relationship with you. Then, they begin to devalue you while insulting the very things they admired in the first place. Another variation of this is when a toxic individual puts you on a pedestal while aggressively devaluing and attacking someone else who threatens their sense of superiority.

Narcissistic abusers do this all the time they devalue their exes to their new partners, and eventually the new partner starts to receive the same sort of mistreatment as the narcissists ex-partner. Ultimately what will happen is that you will also be on the receiving end of the same abuse. You will one day be the ex-partner they degrade to their new source of supply. You just dont know it yet. Thats why its important to stay mindful of the love-bombing technique whenever you witness behavior that doesnt align with the saccharine sweetness a narcissist subjects you to.

As life coach Wendy Powell suggests, slowing things down with people you suspect may be toxic is an important way of combating the love-bombing technique. Be wary of the fact that how a person treats or speaks about someone else could potentially translate into the way they will treat you in the future.

13. Preemptive defense.

When someone stresses the fact that they are a nice guy or girl, that you should trust them right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, be wary.

Toxic and abusive people overstate their ability to be kind and compassionate. They often tell you that you should trust them without first building a solid foundation of trust. They may perform a high level of sympathy and empathy at the beginning of your relationship to dupe you, only to unveil their false mask later on. When you see their false mask begins to slip periodically during the devaluation phase of the abuse cycle, the true self is revealed to be terrifyingly cold, callous and contemptuous.

Genuinely nice people rarely have to persistently show off their positive qualities they exude their warmth more than they talk about it and they know that actions speak volumes more than mere words. They know that trust and respect is a two-way street that requires reciprocity, not repetition.

To counter a preemptive defense, reevaluate why a person may be emphasizing their good qualities. Is it because they think you dont trust them, or because they know you shouldnt? Trust actions more than empty words and see how someones actions communicate who they are, not who they say they are.

14. Triangulation.

Bringing in the opinion, perspective or suggested threat of another person into the dynamic of an interaction is known as triangulation. Often used to validate the toxic persons abuse while invalidating the victims reactions to abuse, triangulation can also work to manufacture love triangles that leave you feeling unhinged and insecure.

Malignant narcissists love to triangulate their significant other with strangers, co-workers, ex-partners, friends and even family members in order to evoke jealousy and uncertainty in you. They also use the opinions of others to validate their point of view.

This is a diversionary tactic meant to pull your attention away from their abusive behavior and into a false image of them as a desirable, sought after person. It also leaves you questioning yourself if Mary did agree with Tom, doesnt that mean that you must be wrong? The truth is, narcissists love to report back falsehoods about others say about you, when in fact, they are the ones smearing you.

To resist triangulation tactics, realize that whoever the narcissist is triangulating with is also being triangulated by your relationship with the narcissist as well. Everyone is essentially being played by this one person. Reverse triangulate the narcissist by gaining support from a third party that is not under the narcissists influence and also by seeking your own validation.

15. Bait and feign innocence.

Toxic individuals lure you into a false sense of security simply to have a platform to showcase their cruelty. Baiting you into a mindless, chaotic argument can escalate into a showdown rather quickly with someone who doesnt know the meaning of respect. A simple disagreement may bait you into responding politely initially, until it becomes clear that the person has a malicious motive of tearing you down.

By baiting you with a seemingly innocuous comment disguised as a rational one, they can then begin to play with you. Remember: narcissistic abusers have learned about your insecurities, the unsettling catchphrases that interrupt your confidence, and the disturbing topics that reenact your wounds and they use this knowledge maliciously to provoke you. After youve fallen for it, hook line and sinker, theyll stand back and innocently ask whether youre okay and talk about how they didnt mean to agitate you. This faux innocence works to catch you off guard and make you believe that they truly didnt intend to hurt you, until it happens so often you cant deny the reality of their malice any longer.

It helps to realize when youre being baited so you can avoid engaging altogether. Provocative statements, name-calling, hurtful accusations or unsupported generalizations, for example, are common baiting tactics. Your gut instinct can also tell you when youre being baited if you feel off about a certain comment and continue to feel this way even after it has been expanded on, thats a sign you may need to take some space to reevaluate the situation before choosing to respond.

16. Boundary testing and hoovering.

Narcissists, sociopaths and otherwise toxic people continually try and test your boundaries to see which ones they can trespass. The more violations theyre able to commit without consequences, the more theyll push the envelope. Thats why survivors of emotional as well as physical abuse often experience even more severe incidents of abuse each and every time they go back to their abusers.

Abusers tend to hoover their victims back in with sweet promises, fake remorse and empty words of how they are going to change, only to abuse their victims even more horrifically. In the abusers sick mind, this boundary testing serves as a punishment for standing up to the abuse and also for being going back to it. When narcissists try to press the emotional reset button, reinforce your boundaries even more strongly rather than backtracking on them.

17. Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes.

Covert narcissists enjoy making malicious remarks at your expense. These are usually dressed up as just jokes so that they can get away with saying appalling things while still maintaining an innocent, cool demeanor. Yet any time you are outraged at an insensitive, harsh remark, you are accused of having no sense of humor. This is a tactic frequently used in verbal abuse.

The contemptuous smirk and sadistic gleam in their eyes gives it away, however like a predator that plays with its food, a toxic person gains pleasure from hurting you and being able to get away with it. After all, its just a joke, right? Wrong. Its a way to gaslight you into thinking their abuse is a joke a way to divert from their cruelty and onto your perceived sensitivity. It is important that when this happens, you stand up for yourself and make it clear that you wont tolerate this type of behavior.

Calling out manipulative people on their covert put-downs may result in further gaslighting from the abuser but maintain your stance that their behavior is not okay and end the interaction immediately if you have to.

18. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone.

Belittling and degrading a person is a toxic persons forte and their tone of voice is only one tool in their toolbox. Sarcasm can be a fun mode of communication when both parties are engaged, but narcissists use it chronically as a way to manipulate you and degrade you. If you in any way react to it, you must be too sensitive.

Forget that the toxic person constantly has temper tantrums every time their big bad ego is faced with realistic feedback the victim is the hypersensitive one, apparently. So long as youre treated like a child and constantly challenged for expressing yourself, youll start to develop a sense of hypervigilance about voicing your thoughts and opinions without reprimand. This self-censorship enables the abuser to put in less work in silencing you, because you begin to silence yourself.

Whenever you are met with a condescending demeanor or tone, call it out firmly and assertively. You dont deserve to be spoken down to like a child nor should you ever silence yourself to meet the expectation of someone elses superiority complex.

19. Shaming.

You should be ashamed of yourself is a favorite saying of toxic people. Though it can be used by someone who is non-toxic, in the realm of the narcissist or sociopath, shaming is an effective method that targets any behavior or belief that might challenge a toxic persons power. It can also be used to destroy and whittle away at a victims self-esteem: if a victim dares to be proud of something, shaming the victim for that specific trait, quality or accomplishment can serve to diminish their sense of self and stifle any pride they may have.

Malignant narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths enjoy using your own wounds against you so they will even shame you about any abuse or injustice youve suffered in your lifetime as a way to retraumatize you. Were you a childhood abuse survivor? A malignant narcissist or sociopath will claim that you mustve done something to deserve it, or brag about their own happy childhood as a way to make you feel deficient and unworthy. What better way to injure you, after all, than to pick at the original wound? As surgeons of madness, they seek to exacerbate wounds, not help heal them.

If you suspect youre dealing with a toxic person, avoid revealing any of your vulnerabilities or past traumas. Until theyve proven their character to you, there is no point disclosing information that could be potentially used against you.

20. Control.

Most importantly, toxic abusers love to maintain control in whatever way they can. They isolate you, maintain control over your finances and social networks, and micromanage every facet of your life. Yet the most powerful mechanism they have for control is toying with your emotions.

Thats why abusive narcissists and sociopaths manufacture situations of conflict out of thin air to keep you feeling off center and off balanced. Thats why they chronically engage in disagreements about irrelevant things and rage over perceived slights. Thats why they emotionally withdraw, only to re-idealize you once they start to lose control. Thats why they vacillate between their false self and their true self, so you never get a sense of psychological safety or certainty about who your partner truly is.

The more power they have over your emotions, the less likely you’ll trust your own reality and the truth about the abuse you’re enduring. Knowing the manipulative tactics and how they work to erode your sense of self can arm you with the knowledge of what youre facing and at the very least, develop a plan to regain control over your own life and away from toxic people.

Shahida Arabi is the author of the book , available here.

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